#the best i can do is find something unisex

[mysaintkitten]

smut with cillian murphy at the golden globes? am i crazy?

Claim Your Prize | Cillian Murphy x fem!reader

!!disclaimer!! this fic does Not represent Cillian as a person, we love and support Yvonne here. this is simply for fun/fantasy! :3

WARNINGS: SMUT (MINORS DNI), public-ish sex, mirrors are involved, kind of sweet sex i think lol, creampie (of course)

“And the award goes to …”

A moment of silence and anticipation fills the room as the announcers carefully pry open the envelop containing the winners name. Beneath the table, you anxiously grab Cillian’s hand. He squeezes it gently in response.

“Cillian Murphy!”

As soon as his name escapes their lips, a wave of relief and appreciation crash over you. Finally, the most hardworking man you know is getting the admiration he deserves.

The people around you clap and cheer, and before Cillian heads up to accept his award you give him a quick hug and a kiss. A brief glimpse into the intimacy the two of you regularly share, yet are never public about it.

It then all becomes a beautiful, hectic blur. As cillian stands in front of everyone accepting his award, he seems to find all the right words to say, and all the right ways to say it. All you can do is stand back and watch him, giving him your utmost respect as he gives his thanks.

When his speech is over and the announcers move on to the next category, you get up from your table to meet Cillian half way. Since the rooms so tightly packed, the best route along the outer edges. As soon as he makes you out in the crowd he smiles happily at you, his eyes beaming with energy and gratitude.

Once you’re face to face, he hugs you again, tighter, finally getting a chance to hold you like he’d initially wanted to when they first announce his win.

Whilst getting ready earlier, you couldn’t help but brainstorm different ways to “reward” Cillian if he won. He isn’t very materialistic, and you knew that the only thing he truly wanted from you was your support, to stand by him whether he won or lost.

But you wanted more, you had to give him something you knew he needed after all these gruelling months of seemingly endless work.

So, after slipping into your dress for the event, you slipped off your panties directly after. Wanting Cillian to have as easy access as possible if he wins.

And now you’re here, wearing no panties underneath your dress, while hugging your winner of a husband.

“I’m so proud of you,” you whisper softly in his ear, turning your head a bit more to give him a kiss on the cheek, “so proud.”

He hums back, briefly nuzzling into your kisses before copying your gestures and kissing you on the cheek, leaving small quick pecks until he ended up back at your lips where he kissed you properly.

The kiss is passionate, warm, not yet sexual but you knew how easily it could fall into that territory.

“I have a gift for you,” you purr in his ear before dragging your fingers along his back, planting a small kiss on his neck and then pulling away.

“What is it?” Cillian asks, earnestly curious, he looks down for a moment but quickly realizes you aren’t carrying anything with you. With a mischievous grin, you grab his hand and lead him away to a private area. You’re able to sneak away quite easily, everyone else is much too fixated on the next winner anyway.

The hallways are vacant for the most part, a few scattered workers here and there, but all you’re thinking about is getting Cillian alone.

Whilst roaming the halls, you spot the bathroom. A unisex, single bathroom. Although it’s not ideal, it’s the best you’ll find in a place like this. Once Cillian sees where you’re heading, it doesn’t take long for him to figure out what your “gift” may entail.

After taking one more good look around, you decide the coast is clear enough and you both sneak into the bathroom before promptly locking the door.

It’s nothing special. A toilet, a sink, a mirror, what you’d normally expect to find in a bathroom. Luckily for you, the room had clearly just been cleaned. The counters and mirrors were spotless, and it smelt faintly of lemon and fresh laundry.

You swiftly turn around to face Cillian, placing your hands on the counter behind you, that sneaky little grin still spread across your lips.

With an equally naughty smile, Cillian presses his body against yours, him too placing his hands on the counter.

“So, what kind of gift does my lovely wife have in mind?” Cillian teases, kissing you gently on the lips, his voice lowers before he speaks again. “One that we need to be all alone for …”

The warmth between your legs intensifies, and the pressure of his body alone is enough to make your brain fuzzy. You drape your arms around his neck, briefly running your fingers through his hair.

“Just wanted to give you a little something that I know you’ve been missing,” you coo innocently, “something that you deserve after all this long …”

You pause for effect,

“And hard …” your voice becomes breathier as bring an arm down off his neck and snake it between your bodies, your grasp landing between his legs to palm him through his trousers, “work.”

Cillian growls, deeply inhaling your sweet and comforting smell, “you don’t know how much I’ve missed this.”

Quickly, Cillian turns you around, your hips now against the edge of the counter top. And now, you’re met with your own reflection. Both you and Cill with flushed cheeks and slightly messy hair, your makeup smeared around the edges of your lips while Cillian’s have a faint red-ish hue from your lipstick.

“I’ve missed this, too,” you sigh as your arousal stirs within you, at this point you don’t doubt that your wetness has made its way to your inner thighs. “I’m so proud of you, baby.”

“S’all thanks to you, really …” Cillian groans against your neck, kissing the skin hungrily. “You’re the only thing that’s kept me fuckin’ sane throughout all of this.”

“Cill …” you giggle at his sweet words, your fingers carding through his hair while he stands behind you, his grip on your hips tightens and you feel him roll his hips against your ass. His warm bulge just begging to be freed.

“Honest,” he defends, “while I was on set, or late at night when I couldn’t sleep, the only thing that brought me peace was you.”

Despite how sweet Cillian’s being, you didn’t take him in here to some exchange kind words or swap some spit.

“You’ve got me here now,” you make eye contact in the mirror, his pupils blown and swimming with lust, “claim your prize.”

The palms of his run along your stomach, his head dipping down to place a kiss onto your neck before bringing his eyes back up to your reflection. Those same palms find your hips, gently gripping the soft skin before sliding his hands down further around your thighs.

He begins to grab at the material hanging down your legs, attempting to hike up your dress as best he can. You bite your lip and give him some assistance in pulling up the fabric, eager for him to see the little surprise you have for him.

Once your dress is lifted up enough, Cillian groans at the beauty in front of him. Your ass on clear display, no panties or tights obstructing his view.

“Were you like this the entire time?”

He watches you nod, a proud smile spread across your lips with your bottom lip still tucked between your teeth. With a smirk he shakes his head, quickly unzipping and unbuttoning his trousers. He pulls them down just enough to allow his cock to spring free, and you feel his hot member pressing against your ass.

Cillian dips a hand down between your legs from behind, trailing his middle finger along the slick seam of your pussy. He dips his finger in, moaning lowly at the warmth and wetness of your core.

“Jesus, baby. Missed my cock that badly, huh?”

You nod while watching him through the mirror, completely transfixed by the sensation of his body against yours along with Cillian’s effortless beauty and sex appeal. You’ve never had a partner that knew which buttons to press as well as Cillian, he could read you like a book.

A small sharp inhale is sucked from your lips when you feel the tip of his length teasing your pussy, smearing your arousal around before gently prodding at your opening.

“Look at yourself when I put it in.” Cillian purrs in your ear, sneaking a large hand up to your neck, gripping your neck and jaw and moving your head forward, forcing you to face your own pleasure.

Already you feel some small amounts of embarrassment, your cheeks are all flushed and your hairs all messy- how could you look so ruined already?

Before you can think too much, Cillian’s pushing his cock inside, slowly. You watch yourself as your mouth starts to hang open, and your brows pinch together. You feel his cock nearly splitting you open, giving you that oh so familiar sweet stretch that you’d been craving after all this time.

“You’ve gotten so fuckin’ tight …” Cillian groans from behind, his warm breath against your neck causing your body to shiver. “You missed getting filled up like this, sweetheart?”

You nod, panting heavily while barely being able to keep your eyes open. His hips roll back out before harshly snapping back in, forcing a pathetic whimper to slip from your lips.

“Yes, yes!” You moan, gripping the edge of the counter as Cillian’s grip on your jaw tightens. Your eyes crack back open and you see your own face again, the pure pleasure he’s giving you leaves you almost unrecognizable in your own eyes. “Missed y-you and your cock-k so much … love you so much …”

It wasn’t very common of either of you to say ‘I love you’ during sex. You’d say it regularly before and after the act, but during? Rarely happened. But since you’ve missed Cillian so much, and he’s been so busy, and now that all his hard work has paid off- it only felt right.

Well, that and the fact that you were already getting cock drunk off of him, your brain barely processing whatever words are coming from your mouth.

“Love you too, darling.” He breathes, kissing your neck while thrusting into you roughly, your hips pushing so harshly against the counter you’re certain it’ll leave a bruise. You don’t care. If anything, you want it to bruise. You want the physical reminder that your husband gave you a good, hard fucking after so many months of separation.

“Love your face, and how cute you look when you’ve got a cock inside you,” Cillian teases, nipping at the shell of your ear before kissing your neck again. “Love this pussy …”

“Fuck-“ you gasp, already feeling the knot in your stomach beginning to form. You really want to make this last, but it’s all been building up within you for far too long now.

“Love, love, love you, my sweet girl.”

“I-I- fuck-“ embarrassment pangs inside you, already too ruined to properly respond to him. Even though you hate it, you know Cillian adores it. While pounding into you, he feels your channel become slicker around him, the subtle sound of your wetness filling the room combined with some mewls and heavy breaths.

“C-Cill, gettin’ close-“ you warn, opening your eyes as best you can to see Cillian when you come. The hand that was gripping your jaw slides down your back, creeping over towards the front of your body where Cillian starts to rub quick circles onto your clit. His other hand digging into your hip.

“Come, baby. Please, missed seeing that pretty little face of yours come undone for me.” Cillian encourages with a growl, the mind-melting combination of pleasure had you tipping over the edge merely moments after.

Your orgasm hits you hard, the hardest you’ve come in months. You bite into your bottom lip roughly to try silence yourself. Your knees wobble, nearly giving out beneath you, but Cillian’s strong grasp on your hip keeps you up on your feet. While wincing from sensitivity, you push away the hand that was rubbing your clit, Cillian obliges.

“That’s it,” he groans, his own thrusts becoming sporadic and sloppy, “gonna come inside, baby.”

You nod and whine, the sensitivity and pleasure had your entire body vibrating.

“Please, please come inside. I need it.” You beg almost pathetically, wanting nothing more than to feel Cillian’s warm spend spilling out from inside you. He’s panting, cursing, sweating slightly, desperate to give you as much of his come as he can.

He bites down on your shoulder while keeping his hips flush against yours, his cock almost painfully deep inside you, you feel his cock twitch. His hot seed painting your silk walls, just like he’d been fantasizing about for all this time.

Once it starts to become too much, he slowly pulls himself out, only to lean his body forward while spreading your cheeks apart, attentively watching as some of his come trickles out of your pussy. He brings his middle finger up and gently shoves his come back in, earning a small whimper from you.

He leans back up and smacks your ass, making you gasp and giggle before letting the fabric of your dress fall back down to cover your legs.

Cillian turns you around and kisses you, sweetly and passionately.

“Thank you for the gift, my love.”

“This was just the first part, baby. The real gift comes when we get home.” You tease with a wink. You take the next few moments to clean yourself up and fix your appearance before heading back out to the event.

You spend the rest of that evening with Cillian’s come seeping out of you, a dirty little secret that only the two of you share.

—

this fic doesn’t really do it justice but I loooove in fics involving mirrors where the top or whoever’s in charge forces the other to look at themselves getting ruined :,( eat it up every time

[deansdelicate]

I CAN SEE YOU

CHAPTER IV: WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

seth rollins x fem!writer+producer reader

word count: [8K]

warnings: no use of y/n, mild cursing, reader mentions a panic attack (but doesn't actually have one), two idiots pining w/o even knowing it kinda? overprotective sethie, overall fluff!

🎧 the soundtrack

summary: In the midst of chaos, you find yourself naturally drawn to Seth, who is nothing short of a steady anchor in the storm. With each unexpected turn, your bond deepens, and so does Seth’s protectiveness over you. While others might not have gone to the same lengths, Seth’s focus never strays—it’s always you, and nothing else.

Your heels clacked against the polished concrete floors, the twists and turns of the arena causing you to stumble over your feet a bit, though it didn’t stop you from the dash attempting to hideaway from another stage hand set out to find you.

You didn’t mind lending a helping hand and getting the house show prepped for the night after your dad had to bail and take a last-minute flight back home, but nothing could have prepared you for the absolute ambush of people expecting you to know everything.

You did all that you knew off the top of your head: pointing the crew to where they could set up crates and carts, helping set up the titatrons and cameras, and even going over the match card for the night. But you weren’t cut out for whole shebang of stage hands who needed details on each and every single task—most, if not all of them, ones you weren’t acquainted with considering your job wasn’t even running the show.

They were practically all around, and you were confident that they were going to find you one way or another. But you’d at least try your best to avoid them for as long as you could and you thought the bathroom would be just the place.

You pushed the door open, falling against it and swiftly shutting it behind you. You pressed against the wood, as if you were barricading yourself in, but really, you just needed a second to catch your breath and close your eyes—savouring the sweetness of peace and quiet.

“Breathe…” you whispered to yourself, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth, trying to ease the dread out of your body.

“You ok?” a voice suddenly reverberated in the empty bathroom, or so you thought.

“Oh, my god!” You screeched, snapping your eyes open, only to be face to face with Seth himself.

You hadn’t seen him around with your hands full all night, and while you wanted to be mortified that this was the circumstances it was under, the embarrassment didn’t even cross your mind. There were too many thoughts whirling through your head, and he certainly wasn’t the stressors you were trying to avoid by any means.

“Am I in the men’s bathroom?” You sputtered, pushing off the door in order to step further into the bathroom, expecting to see more stars, but thankfully it was just him.

“No, it’s unisex.” He assured, watching you trudge over to the sinks turning on the faucet to run your hands under the frigid water.

Seth pushed his brows together, staring at you concerned in the mirror’s reflection, “You look flustered, are you good?”

He noticed you were still trying to even your breathing while you splashed some of the water droplets over your neck, visibly trembling from head to toe. He knew something was up.

“My dad had to fly back to Stamford, and he left me to handle everything and now I’m stuck here dealing with things that I really have no clue about.” Your voice shook as you explained yourself.

You shut off the water, pressing your wet, cold fingertips against your forehead still trying to ease your buzzing nerves.

He hadn’t seen you in such a state, and you appeared to be a shell of yourself before his eyes. Even on your first day of work, you seemed to have some semblance of control over your nervousness, but today was another level of high-strung stress that plagued him, wondering how long you had been feeling this way until ultimately hiding out.

Surely people didn’t just expect you to know the ins and outs already?

You didn’t even give out orders the way your father did, and frankly your job was strictly in the creative realm. He couldn’t imagine what everyone else had been bothering you for that they didn’t already know how to handle considering their time with the company.

He didn’t have any time to spit out questions—whether you needed something to drink or to see the trainers for rest.

“Has anyone seen Ms. Levesque?” A voice rang out loud enough through the hallways getting closer to the bathroom.

Your eyes widened, spinning around and giving Seth a begging look.

“You haven’t seen me and I’m not here!” You whispered hurriedly, finding shelter in the furthest stall and locking the door shut.

He didn’t need any convincing, immediately getting into character as the door swung open and there stood a stage hand wearing a frantic look and letting themselves in without knocking.

“Is Ms. Levesque in here?” They urged, but before they could come closer and inspect the stalls for themselves, Seth stepped in front of them, blocking the path.

“Haven’t seen her at all today. It’s just me in here.” He spoke, playing it cool as the stage hand peered past him for a split second.

“Have you checked gorilla? It is almost doors and she could be there.” Seth added, eyes trailing down to the watch on their wrist and just like that the stage hand muttered out a ‘thank you’ under their breath before they left.

He chuckled to himself, shaking his head at how little it took to get them scurrying. “You can come out now.”

You released a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding, sliding the lock loose, causing the door to swing open.

“Thanks,” you sighed, exiting the stall, and meeting him near the sinks again.

“I think I’m seriously going to spiral if I hear one more person ask for me.” You confessed, running your hands through your hair stubbornly.

You could just feel the migraine starting to brew, and the last thing you needed was your head throbbing over circumstances out of your couldn’t control. Seth shook his head, his hand extending towards your arm and giving it an encouraging rub.

His touch brought forth a calming warmth over your shuddering body, desperately holding onto the feeling before his fingertips suddenly fell, leaving you aching again.

“I think you’re doing great, and I’m sure the girls wouldn’t mind you hiding out in the locker room. Stage hands almost never go in there for house shows.”

You perked up at the sound of that, tilting your head at him.

“Is it nearby?” You crossed your fingers, hoping it wasn’t on the other side of the arena where you’d surely be found by then.

“Yeah, it’s right next to ours.” He nodded.

“Okay, can you show me?” You smiled tightly, wanting to get out as soon as possible before another came in and blew your cover.

Seth nodded, holding a single finger up as he walked towards the door.

“Yeah, just give me a sec…” He peeked his head out, looking left and right making sure the coast was clear before, looking back at you and gesturing you over, “Come on.”

Seth’s arm slipped across your shoulders, pulling you closer into his side as you hung your head low hoping to not be spotted in the crowded hallways. You didn’t even have the time to think twice about the implications if you two did get caught in such a way—plus even if you did it was nothing they had to worry about when it was just friends helping each other out.

“Here you are,” Seth stopped in front of a door decorated with a plaque that read, “Female Talent” on it.

His arm fell back to his sides, as you pushed your hair out of your face, keeping your voice low as you whispered, “Thank you so much.”

“Come find me if you need another hiding spot.” He joked light heartedly, making you giggle with a nod before you waved goodbye and let yourself in.

Like he promised, the girls didn’t mind you at all.

It was more so surprising to them seeing that it was you of all people who walked through the doors, over apologetic for barging in out of nowhere.

But they immediately welcomed you with open arms, ushering you over to sit and hang out with them since they rarely got the opportunity to catch up with you being so busy.

You had confessed what led you to hiding out in their locker-room and they all immediately shook their heads, knowing damn well that most if not all stage hands weren’t new to the schedule, so them coming to you was just out of inconvenience.

Nattie was especially trouble, shaking her head disappointingly, "That's not right," She muttered, shooting her husband TJ a text message about what was going on.

You twisted your fingers in your lap nervously, hating that this is what you had to come to in order to get away.

“Maybe I’m just being dramatic, right? I just don’t understand what I’m supposed to tell them, when I don’t even know what’s going on too.” You sighed heavily.

You weren’t trying to act like an entitled brat, but you knew deep down that you did everything in your power to help everyone. There was only so much you could do without feeling like you were risking making a mistake and the blame falling on someone else.

“TJ has it handled. No need to worry.” She assured you, shoving her phone back into her bag, as you shot her a thankful smile for going out of her way to have your back.

“You don't know what that means to me,” you gratefully, reached over, hugging her tightly before pulling away. “I guess I should go now that the search is off.” You half laughed, going to get up and give the girls their space back.

But a hand quickly wrapped around your wrist and stopped you from doing so. It was Alexa, who shook her head along with the other ladies who looked excited to have you and wanted to spend more time together.

“Stay! You can help us get ready for the show!” She said eagerly, and you smiled at the thought, taking her up on the offer and deciding to stick around longer than you anticipated.

The smell of hairspray, and the heaps of makeup pallets cluttering the countertops took you back to the feeling of being at home again. It reminded you of your little sisters’, the random nights they’d spend at your apartment begging for silly makeovers, and even back in your childhood bedroom where your mom taught you how to do your own hair and makeup.

“How are you so fast?” Alexa gaped in the mirror astonished, most of her hair already curled despite you just starting minutes ago.

You laughed, sectioning off another part and wrapping her blonde locks around the barrel of the iron. “It helps when you have three little sisters who always want their hair done.”

She smiled. “How old are they?”

“Sixteen, thirteen and, ten.” You listed off with a huff, feeling incredibly old.

“They’re totally lucky to have you as a big sis.”

Truth be told, you were definitely the luckier one, seeing as though all three of them were extremely close to you despite their teenage ages, which was supposed to be where they wanted absolutely nothing to do with their older ‘uncool’ sister. But it was quite the opposite with them wanting to spend as much time with you, but especially not that you weren’t home as often as before.

It was one thing that almost caused you to turn down the offer of working with the company. As a kid, you grew up with your parents constantly traveling, and while they had the luxury of taking you with them, as you got older, the idea didn’t seem enticing and you just craved being home where you belonged.

And while you weren’t your sister's parent, you filled that role of being like one, and the last thing you wanted was for them to feel as if you were abandoning them. Thankfully, your schedule was flexible enough for you to go home every other weekend, and with more shows being put on in Connecticut, it was convenient to see them as much as you could.

“Oh, I have got to show you what I gifted her!” You said excitedly, finishing up the final curl before retrieving your phone and scrolling through your album.

“I showed Seth last week, and he thought it was pretty cool too.” You grinned to yourself, finally finding the picture and passing your phone around.

“God, I feel so old. I had one of those when I was like seven,” Nattie grumbled, seeing the vintage polaroid your sister was holding, causing you all to laugh.

“Speaking of him,” Naomi nudged your side teasingly with her elbow, “How do you like working with him?”

You smiled, biting down your lip with a shrug of your shoulders.

“He’s great, I mean, we work well together and we have a lot of chemistry, so it’s been smooth sailing so far.”

You couldn’t help but notice the impish expressions covering their faces. Liv smirked, passing your phone back to you.

“Do you think he’s cute?” She asked bluntly, causing your eyes to widen and a blush to break over your cheeks.

“Leave the poor girl alone!” Naomi chided, rolling her eyes at the girls who giggled harmlessly.

“What? It’s just a question. This is a judgement free zone.” Liv argued confidently, looking around at the girls who nodded—seriously, they all were like sisters, and nothing was ever off limits.

You tucked your cheek into your shoulder shyly, shrugging again, “He’s got a nice face alright...I’ll leave it at that!”

They all broke out into a girlish giggle, causing you to cover your face not out of embarrassment but for the sole fact that you actually said it out loud for the first time. You always thought Seth was cute—watching him for as long as you did over the course of your preparation coming onto the main roster, you always thought he had an appeal on screen and it was no different in real life.

So yeah, Seth Rollins had a pretty good-looking face, and you were quite lucky to work with him.

As the night progressed, time moved quickly with you busy and the anxious thoughts finally washed away. The girls who had matched had already made their way back to the locker room, getting showered and changed while you and the other ladies continued to chat.

“I’m so not looking forward to the drive tonight.” Alexa groaned, coming out from the attached bathrooms, changed into fresh clothing as she chucked her gear into her suitcase and zipped it up.

“Tell me about it, and tonight I’m riding with the hubs and his brothers.” Naomi sighed half heartedly, and they all laughed, knowing that driving with a bunch of guys was always the worst for multiple reasons.

Suddenly your eyes widened, the time spent with the girls causing you to lose track of everything else—including how you were getting to the next city. All the stress you had thought you fought off was coming back like cruel punishment testing if you were really meant to do this or not.

Your dad had taken off in such a haste, and it was a no brainer that he took the company plane, the same one you were supposed to get on at the end of the night to head to the next city. But that was before plans changed. There were no drivers on hand to take you to the next city, and the plane was certainly on the tarmac by now.

“Wait, where are we going next?”

You bit down nervously on your lip, grabbing your phone and trying to load the itinerary in your emails, hoping Eddie had sent you travel arrangements.

“Chicago.” They answered before your phone could load up your mail.

When the app finally loaded and refreshed, there was nothing from Eddie nor your dad about your mode of transportation to the next city. You were practically stranded and fucked.

“Shit.” You whispered, closing your eyes tightly and shaking your head.

“What’s the matter?” Liv frowned, looking over your shoulder.

You took a deep breath, trying to give your best smile while your mind raced with solutions.

“Nothing, I just have to go call Eddie. I totally forgot to ask him about something.” You waved off not wanting to worry them.

You stepped out of the locker room, pacing anxiously as you pulled up your messages between you and Eddie, shooting him a few. Much to your dismay the normal blue bubbles sent through as green, furthering your worries.

Sure, you could have easily went back in the locker room to ask one of the girls if it was okay to tag along with them to the next city, but you already felt bad for camping out in their locker room for the whole night and the last thing you wanted was them to feel suffocated by you.

Funnily enough, in the face of worry, your footsteps didn’t seem to second guess your mind, heading straight to the person you were hoping didn’t already leave the arena. The more you searched the hallways, the more helpless you became. The sliver of hope that he was still around fading with each second that passed knowing you’d have to quickly think up another solution, when you’re one and only was nowhere to be found.

But there he was—his back turned to you as he talked to a member of the production team about something you were too relieved to care about in the moment. He had his luggage and a few bags near his side and you knew you had caught him just in time, and you weren’t going to let it slip from you.

You hurried your footsteps, and unbeknownst to you, the familiar sounds of your heels rang through his ears, prompting him to turn his head over his shoulder mid conversation, spotting you making a beeline towards him.

He could read your face and the worry that covered it, the same one that you wore in the confines of the bathroom where you didn’t have to conceal it with a faux smile so the nearby eyes wouldn’t know something was wrong.

“Woah, hey, are you still dodging people?” Seth twisted his body completely, turning your way and forgetting the previous conversation all together, giving his attention to you.

You stopped right in front of him, rubbing at your temples and pinching your eyes shut, hoping you weren’t about to ask for too much from him.

“No, I actually was looking for you.” Your chest deflated with a heavy sigh that was reminiscent of the anguish you displayed earlier.

He straightened up at the sound of that, nodding his head ready to take on whatever you needed from him.

“How can I help?”

“I thought I had a flight to the next city, but since the plane left with my dad I’m sorta stranded, and I really don’t want to go book a flight and I can’t get ahold of Eddie so I was wondering if I’d be okay if I drove with you and Roman to the next city?”

You were nearly out of breath at how fast you were talking, trying to cut to the chase and not waste any more of his time than you already were.

“Of course,” He replied without any reluctance or a second to think if you should ask someone else instead—his quick response clearly stunned you, but you were indebted more than anything else.

“But it’ll just be you and me. Roman’s riding with his cousins and Naomi this time around.” He added, pointing behind you to where Roman and his cousins Jey and Jimmy were already starting to exit the arena.

Naomi was right behind them, rolling her things along. She caught you in her peripheral, causing her to turn to you, shooting you a teasing smile when she realized you were alone with Seth. You waved weakly, returning a small smile keeping your composure before you turned to him again.

“Yeah, that’s fine with me.” You smiled through a deep breath and he began to roll his luggage and bags out of the path.

“I’ll be right back. I’m just going to get my stuff really quick.” You gestured down the hall to where your office was.

“Take your time.” He assured you, not being able to help himself, chuckling and shaking his head, as you twirled around and did a quick jog in your heels not wanting to keep him waiting long.

You changed out of your skirt and top, tossing the pieces and your heels into your suitcase, and quickly grabbing a random baggy t-shirt and a pair of comfy sweatpants. You pulled mismatched socks over your feet, slipping them into your usual sneakers, hurriedly shutting the luggage and zipping it up.

You grabbed the packet of makeup wipes you kept in your purse, opening your phone camera to use as a mirror as you swiped the cloth over your face, letting your skin breathe. Tossing the wipes into the trash bin, you did a one over your office, making sure you had all your belongings, before turning off the lights and heading back to Seth.

Staying out of the path where stage hands and techs were clearing, he scrolled through his phone, waiting for you. And while he wasn’t one for divulging into social media comments, WWE’s recent post of your segment together had appeared on his feed, and many fans had lots to say.

‘Don’t know if this will end well for Seth, but how funny would it be if they actually got together in real life?”

One comment read, making him chuckle and shake his head—a thread of people agreeing or shunning the idea, like they had a say, anyway.

Another one wrote, ‘I can feel the tension through the screen,’ followed by an abundance of emojis that Seth wasn’t quite able to decode, but still made him laugh none the less.

At least he knew you both were doing something right if a single segment was already getting fans excited about what was to come. Whatever ‘tension’ fans saw meant that you two were doing exactly what you needed to do with your characters—it was all just part of the storyline.

“Sorry for the holdup.” Your soft voice shot down the empty halls, causing him to look up as you approached.

Mindlessly he slipped his phone into his pocket, trailing his eyes carefully over you—bare faced, hair pulled up, and the tiredness evident across your features and demeanor, yet you still managed to put on a smile thanking him endlessly for going out of his way.

“No holdup here,” He assured you, grabbing his things and rolling it beside him. “All good to go?” He wearily took note of all your baggage not wanting you forget anything important.

You nodded with a hum, “All packed up and ready.”

He led the way out to the parking garage where most of the superstars were already loading up their cars and preparing for the long trip ahead. Seth fidgeted with the car keys, sounding off the horn in order to find his rental that was almost identical to all the other SUVs around.

Recognizing the blinking tail lights and alarm sound, he subtly held his free arm out towards the small of your back, guiding you in its direction. You peered over at him as you walked, a little taken aback by the kind gesture—the way he wanted to keep you close felt almost comforting.

Only when you both made it to the car did his hand finally drop, allowing him to pop the trunk open while you stood there waiting to slide your things in. You stifled a small yawn behind your hands, rubbing your eyes lightly trying to shake off the fatigue until you got to the hotel. Seth slipped his backpack off, pushing it into the trunk, taking a quick glance at you and noticed your slowed movements.

Before you could even process what was happening, a soft click causing you to squint past your blurry vision, seeing Seth already lifting your suitcase and sliding it in.

“I got it. Go get comfy.” He offered thoughtfully, sliding the key fob into your palm, nodding at you to go ahead before continuing to load up the car.

You didn’t put a fight, giving him a nod as you hurried into the passenger side, placing your purse on the floor and leaning over the middle console in order to get the car running. Twisting the dials for the air conditioning and heat, you found a decent temperature that could keep you toasty yet cool at the same time.

The trunk closed shut behind you shortly after, and Seth had made his way around to the driver’s seat, getting in and placing his phone into one of the cup holders for easy access.

“Is it okay?” You hovered your hands in front of the vents, keeping your eyes on him.

His fingertips skimmed against yours, a pleased look on his face, glancing over at you.

“It’s fine for me. You aren’t too cold are you?” He rose his brow, feeling your hands slightly shaking next to his.

You weren’t particularly bundled up, and the night travel was always brisker, with temperatures dropping. There was only so much the heater could do to warm the car without it feeling like an absolute sauna, and a three-hour drive meant an absolute need to be as comfortable as you could be.

A slight shiver ran up and down your arms, chin trembling either out of pure exhaustion or frigidity, yet you still shook your head, lowering your hands into your lap, clasping them together for warmth trying to convince him.

You began to assure him, but it didn’t last long, “No I’m—”

He dropped his hands, fingers going to the zipper of his jacket, pulling the closure down and shrugging the garment off his arms, holding it out to you.

“I can see you shivering, you know.” He chuckled, nudging the jacket to you again when you didn’t take it the first time.

You hesitated for a second, before ultimately sighing out a laugh and taking it, apologizing as you slipped it on.

“I’m a guest in your car. I didn’t want to overstep.”

Seth let out a sarcastic grunt, buckling in as he spoke.

“Trust me, I’ve driven with guys who snore through ten hour drives and some who insist on blasting music all the way through. You’re by far the best road partner I’ll have to date.”

He said it like a promise, sweet and sincere like the way his voice always carried itself with you. It was hard as is, transitioning into a new job, but one that also came with an intense level of travel added another layer to the reason why he felt it was vital you had someone you could go to no matter what—and if that was him, then he was more than happy to be that person for you.

You crossed your fingers he couldn’t see you blushing through the darkness of the car. The headlights reflecting brightly off the walls and bouncing off the windshield didn’t help your case, but you couldn’t fight it. Perhaps you were smitten because of the conversation you had with the girls just a short while ago, but even then you knew it was partly just you in your head.

You had banked out on becoming friends with Seth, and you couldn’t possibly imagine what you’d do without him. And what Eddie had teasingly said about you and him acting as more than friends suddenly played like a loop in your head. But you had to remind yourself that it was just platonic, and that was all it could ever amount to.

“Thanks again for letting me tag along. I’d be lost without you.” You murmured, absentmindedly setting your hand over his wrist, grazing his skin softly.

Seth kept his cool, ignoring the hot rush of blood in his veins beneath your touch—it was nothing else besides platonic. Your kindness had always been extended to everyone. It just so happened that you two had spent a lot of time together, but still didn’t mean anything else.

He had spent all this time criticizing his friends because of their relentless teasing, yet he knew that if they were there to see what was unfolding before him, it would only egg all of them on further to believing you and him could actually be a thing.

The naked eyes you both held onto each other didn’t even see through a glimpse of what you felt inside. You didn’t say anything about his pulse beating against your fingertips and Seth certainly didn’t bring up your pink cheeks in the dead of the night—all of it was left unspoken, but it didn’t mean that nothing was said.

You and Seth talked and talked under the moonlit sky, mostly about Chicago. He had been multiple times, back in his indie days where he would drive from state to state and town to town to wrestle and get his name out there. All of those late night drives in shitty broken-down cars finally paid off a few years back after your father offered him a contract in developmental and closed off the indie days chapter and brought him straight to Tampa where bigger plans laid ahead.

You, on the other hand, hadn’t been to many places, far from home, and Chicago was one of them. It was safe to say that while the travel schedule was something so foreign to you it gave you the opportunity to see the world in a medium where you still got to work within your element.

“Do you ever miss the indies?” You marveled aloud, peering at him and he pursed his lips, puffing out an absurd breath of air.

“Hell no,” He sneered, making you burst into laughter, shaking your head at him while he argued his case, “I don’t miss getting paid forty bucks and a hot dog for getting my ass kicked in a high school gym.”

It felt like it was just yesterday when promoters would slap a few bills in the palm of his hand, and he was even lucky if they provided food after the show. Most times it was just him and his other indie buddies driving to the nearest 7/11 to spend their hard earned cash on gas station food and fill up their tank to head back home only for a repeat all over again.

“Okay, I get that,” You nodded understandingly, shifting your torso towards him as you tucked your legs under yourself. “But I mean, do you miss the innocence? Like, the small crowds that believed in you, even when you were just doing it for the hope of it all?”

You stared at him, elbow rested on the console, genuinely curious, and Seth found it endearing considering his past wasn’t all that glamorous to begin with. But your desire to dive into his world, attempting to dissect it in your own way made him realize that he hadn’t pondered his roots in what felt like forever.

“Well, when you put it that way,” He strung together a hum, glancing at you for a quick second just enough for you to catch his smile before turning his attention back to the road, “Yeah. I never imagined I’d be here. It still feels a little surreal at times.”

Perhaps there was a double meaning. Here as in working for the company he had always been dreaming about since he was kid. And here beside you—breathing your air, hearing your voice, getting a rare to chance to know you.

He didn’t know why he thought beyond what you had asked, but it felt right, just as he was beside you. The what was supposed to be solo drive to the next city, way more pleasant with your presence.

“You came a long way and you deserve it.” You grinned, eyes twinkling towards him, catching a glimpse of his orbs that wished could’ve stayed set on you through the night.

The first hour of the car ride was a breeze, a nice smooth journey as you and Seth talked about any and everything under the dusk to get you through the next town. You could’ve listened to his voice for hours, talking up a storm and making you crack a smile even in your most exhaustive hours—but then again, you were spent, and soon your quick replies and giggles became nothing but tired hums and weak nods of your head.

You liked to think that the same way his voice could keep you up in the early morning hours of a busy city, also had the effect of helping you drift off into sleep on a long road to another bustling town.

Seth hadn’t taken your quietness as to you being asleep. To be fair, he had just thought you were staring out the window, taking in the drive with some comfortable silence he didn’t mind at all. It wasn’t until he pulled up to the drive through of a fast-food restaurant that he realized that you had been fast asleep for nearly a half hour.

“Did you want something?” He asked, finishing up his order and reaching into his pocket to pull out his wallet before looking over at you.

With no response, he hovered over the console a tad, finally seeing your chest falling in tune with the mellow breaths you took, and your eyes fluttered shut as you dreamed away. He smiled tightly at the sight just before turning back to the intercom and speaking at a lower volume in hopes not to wake you.

Hour two consisted of Seth quietly munching on his fries and burgers, softening the crinkle of the paper under a napkin, doing his best to keep the car nice and quiet for you.

You had shifted around a few times by hour three, maneuvering your body into a cramped fetus position and facing towards him. You untucked your arms from the inside of the jacket, pulling the excess fabric under your chin and settling into a deep sleep once more.

How you were able to sleep like a baby in the passenger seat wasn’t something he could fathom, considering how uncomfortable the front seat was for the guys who were always too tall to burrow into a cacoon like you were. But he guessed you had overworked yourself into a state of complete and utter exhaustion.

You always gave a hundred percent of yourself every night, but with your dad gone and you left to the pickup the pieces, you had gone out of your way to try to help everyone—spreading yourself out too thin before the veil broke and you had to hide away for the sake of your wellbeing.

The drive was nearly over, and he could only steal some quick glances towards you before you both had finally made it to the hotel just a little before midnight. The parking lot was full of similar rental cars, a clear indicator that everyone had beaten them there. Finding the nearest available parking spot, he quickly drove in, switching gears and letting up on the brake pedal.

“Wakey, wakey,” Seth called out gently, unbuckling his seat belt and giving your arm a soft tap, attempting to stir you from your slumber.

Yet you didn’t budge, not even a little, your breathing slow and steady as the hum of the air conditioning faded when Seth pulled the key from the ignition. He sighed softly, not wanting to disturb you but knowing you needed proper rest.

“Sweetheart, we made it to the hotel,” He spoke a little louder this time, hoping it’d get you to wake, “We gotta get you checked in so you can get some in bed, yeah?”

He reached over to give your shoulder a soft rub, trying to ease you awake gradually.

“Hmm,” you groaned, eyebrows furrowing together as you fidgeted around and turned away from him, body curling towards the passenger door.

Waking you up didn’t seem like a possibility, your body too exasperated to even make out his voice calling out to you, and it was probably in his best interest if he just made sure you got to your room to rest. Letting his hand slip away, he came around to your side, gently opening the door, and reaching in with one arm to support you while the other unclasped your seatbelt.

“Come on, I’m gonna help you out.” He murmured, shifting you into an upright position.

Carefully, Seth unzipped the jacket you’d borrowed from him earlier, slipping your arms back into the sleeves so he could lift you more easily.

Cradling you in his arms, he carried you out of the car, making sure you stayed upright against his side, as he shut the door and locked up the car, guiding your dead weight towards the hotel entrance.

The woman at the reception desk looked up with a warm smile as Seth approached, your head resting on his shoulder, still deep in sleep.

“Under what name?” The woman asked, fingers hovering over the keyboard, ready to get you both into your room.

Seth shifted slightly, adjusting his grip on you as he spoke, “Actually, we have two separate rooms. Hers should be under Levesque.” He told her, waiting for a room key to your suite before asking for his.

The woman’s smile faltered with a frown, shaking her head apologetically.

“I’m sorry, sir, but I can only give the room information to the individual whose last name the room is under.” She said, gawking at your unconscious state.

Seth sighed, glancing down at you resting so peacefully in his arms. He didn’t have the heart to wake you up, just for a little room key.

“Look, I don’t want to wake her. She’s had a long day and she really just needs some rest.”

“I understand that, sir, but it’s policy.” The woman explained, “I’m afraid I can’t make any exceptions.”

She was just doing her job, and he understood that the predicament looked more than sketchy, but he wasn’t going to let anything happen to you, and he certainly wasn’t going to let you go to bed on the lobby couch.

“Okay, how about Rollins? My room.” He proposed, slipping his hand into his pocket, retrieving his identification.

She scanned over his ID, nodding and sliding it back towards him, then doing some typing on her keyboard getting the room information from the computer screen.

“Here you are, room 1306,” she slid the key across the countertop, and Seth quickly slipped it into his pocket before wrapping both arms around you securely again.

“It has a single king bed, but there’s also a pull out.” She added thoughtfully, but Seth didn’t miss the confusion on her face, not understanding why you both would have separate rooms to begin with.

“Thank you.” He nodded, keeping it short not feeling the need to explain himself, before carrying you through the lobby toward the elevators.

The nearest elevator began to close, and he quickly called out, hoping for the people inside to stop it.

Unbeknownst to him, the lift contained his buddies—the same ones who recognized his voice in an instant and stopped the doors from shutting at the list second. Jey snuck his hand out, prompting the doors to open once again, as there Seth stood with the boss’s daughter in his arms.

“Oh shit! Don’t tell me you’re going all vintage Triple H right now,” He shrieked, voice echoing in the small space and ringing out the corridor, causing everyone’s eyes to widen.

Seth ignored the comment, shifting your weight slightly to keep you snug in his hold as he stepped into the elevator. He didn’t have the usual energy to snap back a remark, too tired and frankly too concerned about getting you into bed to actually care.

Jimmy gave his brother a light smack on the back of the neck, silently telling him to cut it out, while both he and Naomi rolled their luggage aside to make room for the two bodies joining them.

“Thanks,” Seth mumbled, settling in as the doors closed behind him.

Roman leaned against the wall, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. “You can’t be serious, can you?” his tone half serious, half amused not believing this was actually unfolding before his very eyes.

He knew that the closer Seth became to you, the risker things would become—not just the notion of the superstars making harmless jokes anymore, but substantial people backstage that would take notice and immediately tell your father of any funny business. And it seemed Seth wasn’t even thinking about that at all.

“What?” Seth shrugged his shoulders as much as he could without waking you, not knowing what the big deal was. “She fell asleep in the car and I tried to wake her up but it’s pointless.” He reasoned plainly.

Roman sighed, still a little skeptical, “What floor?” He asked, reaching over to push the button on the panel.

“Thirteen.” Seth replied, watching the button illuminate, the lift humming, as it took you all upwards.

Seth glanced down at you, gently readjusting your arms around his waist so you could stay comfortable. And like it was instinct, he felt your arms tighten around him, nuzzling your face deeper into the juncture of his neck.

His cheeks threatened to turn red, and a smile tugged violently at the corner of his lips, a kind of smitten he had to hold back, wishing he took a different elevator to conceal their eyes that bored into the two of you. He cleared his throat, cutting into the silence, trying to shift the focus away from the jokes that wanted to air out.

“Didn’t you guys leave the arena before us? You’re just getting in?”

Naomi rolled her eyes, shooting her husband a glare. “This man missed the exit and the stupid GPS rerouted us wrong.”

“Hey don’t blame me!” Jimmy protested, smacking his lips with a tsk, “there’s worse that could’ve happened like my ass on the verge of getting fired because I decided to kidnap the bosses daughter.”

Seth grumbled, closing his eyes with the shake of his head, hoping the damn elavator would hurry it up.

“Shut up.” Naomi smacked his arm lightly, her eyes softening when she looked at you. “She needs the rest. She was telling us about the wild goose chase they had her on tonight. Poor thing.”

“Exactly, thank you.” Seth looked over at the woman gratefully, nodding his head, as he spoke dryly towards the others, “It’s what friends would do for each other.”

Roman shook his head, stifling a laugh, “Yeah okay sure…friends.”

Finally, the elevator approached the thirteenth floor, slowing as Seth was ready to escape the confines, but of course not without one final jab from Jey.

“Nighty night…don’t let the ghost of papa H haunt you tonight.”

Everyone choked on their laughter, not wanting to possibly wake you and face the wrath of Seth himself. Roman stuck one hand out the door as it opened, pausing the automatic closure.

“See you in the morning, man.” He added with a knowing smirk, giving his brother a pat on the back, as Seth exited and headed down the hall to find his room.

Once he found it, he fished the key out of his pocket, sliding it into the slot. The lock mechanism whirled quietly in the stillness before the green light flickered on, unlocking the door. It wasn’t a suite, but the room had ample space for you both, though Seth knew he still had to grab the belongings from the car.

He stepped inside, gently kicking the door closed behind him, and without thinking his hand reached for the lock, turning it into place.

Guiding you over to the bed, he did his best to maneuver you as quick as he could, yet at the same time keeping his touch delicate not wanting to wake you so abruptly.

“Easy, easy,” he whispered, setting you down upright for a moment letting your forehead rest against his shoulder as he pulled back the sheets, then carefully rested you down back first.

He took a moment to adjust the pillow under your head, making sure you were comfortable, before kneeling down on the ground to work your shoelaces loose. Pulling your socked feet away from your sneakers, he set them aside before tucking your legs under the duvet.

“There we go,” He chuckled under his breath, impressed with himself that you hadn’t woken up through all the moving and noise.

He tucked you in carefully, making sure you were snug enough to where the blankets stopped at your chest. But you had done the same thing in the car—your fingers timidly creeping up, brushing against his as you pulled it up higher under your chin.

Seth couldn’t help but smile, standing there for a moment as he watched you relax even deeper into the bed. Your bones sensing the cushiony feeling underneath you and all the weight you had been carrying suddenly melting away with your breathing slowed and steady.

Content that you were safe and sound, he quietly slipped out of the room, triple checking to make sure the door was locked again before heading back down to retrieve the bags from the car. It was nearing almost one in the morning and his own fatigue crept into his bones and the socket of his eyes that wanted to droop asleep, yet all that he could feel was an odd sense of protectiveness over you.

He didn’t like the idea of being away from you, let alone being with anyone else in the state that you were in tonight.

What would’ve happened if he left the arena before you could find him?

What if you rode with someone else and they hadn’t made sure you were okay?

All the worries that you were the common denominator in eating away at the walls he was supposed to have up in order to protect himself. From what? He had no idea, but he knew well and sure that he couldn’t have let anything happen to you.

You had shifted around in the short time he was gone, this time laying on your side cuddled up into the blankets that practically swallowed you whole. The carpeted floors help cushion the sounds of the wheels rolling against them, setting his belongings in the corner near the couch on the opposite end of the room before setting your stuff near the closet.

There was weak light illuminating the darkness of your bag, your cellphone coming in with a few notifications, but what caught Seth’s eye was the red indicator on the battery icon. Thankfully, your charger was tangled up in your bag, and he quickly undid the loops before walking to your bedside and plugging it in for you to have come morning.

With everything settled, Seth walked over to the pullout couch, grabbing the clothed tab and tugging on it to reveal the full-sized bed. Certainly it wasn’t the comfiest thing for his stature or his back, but he had slept on worse, and he was lucky that he didn’t have to share it with anyone in a janky motel.

Shutting off the lights, and laying down, he still couldn’t get his mind off you as you laid just a few feet away from him. He hadn’t expected this was the way his night would end, but then again, he wouldn’t want it any other way—maybe a proper bed for the sake of his body, but he’d deal with the cards he had been dealt.

As you dreamed away, he wondered if you knew he’d make sure nothing happened to you. That you subconsciously trusted him enough, that even in your weakest, most vulnerable state, you knew he was there. And as his eyes began to blink slower by the second, completely sinking into sleep, in the back of his mind he hoped you knew that he could be that person.

And in the silence of the shared room, you and Seth dreamt away—but not far enough to escape each other.

💌 reblogs, tags, comments, + likes are greatly appreciated! leave a comment and let me know if want to be added to my taglist!! 💌

a/n: i hope you guys like chapter four of icsy!!! originally this chapter was supposed to be way longer, but i decided to split it--don't worry, chapter five is coming super soon after this one!!! let me know what you think about sethie and the princess ;D

taglist: @ellesmythe @wonderharryy @southerngirl41 @eringobragh420

[cococunchy]

my soul connects to yours

pairing : stranger!haechan x gn!reader

genre (?) : red string of fate, strangers to lovers

summary : in the world you live in, seeing soulmates together are as common as riding a bike, be it platonic soulmates, or romantic. but finding your own is unfortunately not as easy. so by fate, when you pass a certain boy and realise who you were destined to be with, both of you decide to try it out

a/n : definitely very ooc for haechan but lets not talk about that and this might not be the best because the only true experience i have in writing is essays for school (💪🏻) so please bare with me

mc’s name is jisoo (can be unisex. ie, jisoo from bp and jisoo/joshua from svt) for convenience but feel free to change it!

word count: 952

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the start of december, the most worrying yet also least worrying time of the year mainly for the reason that you’re not sure if you’re ever going to bump into your soulmate, all your friends have found theirs, so why couldn’t you? and as easy as you wish it’d be to find them, maybe following the bright red string that’s always glowing on your pinkie finger that only you can see, it hasn’t worked before and will probably never work.

you sigh, walking the streets of Seoul, Korea with heavily layered clothing for the winter season, the buildings were vibrant and beautiful yet all you felt was a gloomy grey.

it wasn’t as if you were desperate for love or a hopeless romantic, but seeing your friends so content with their soulmates has made you yearn for a love like theirs. a requited, never ending love between two chosen by the stars.

“oh! sorry, i wasn’t paying attention where i was going.” a voice piped up after crashing into you causing you both to fall back on the pavement. “i swear i’m not this clumsy usually.” he stood up, brushes himself off and offered a hand out to you, waiting to see if you’ll take it.

“it’s no problem,” you say with a small smile, a fall definitely kicked you out of your little three minute quarter-life crisis. though, you couldn’t help but notice something on his hand as you took it and pulled yourself up. a string. connecting right to your pinkie finger from his.

it seemed the man noticed too, as a sudden introduction coming from him the second you got back up on your feet. “name’s Lee Donghyuck, it’s a pleasure to meet you, my soulmate.” he playfully does a princely bow, though, you assumed it was probably just an act for peak first impressions.

“the pleasures all mine,” you bow/curtsy playfully right back after picking up your bag from the floor and brushing yourself off. “i’m Park Jisoo”

this man, Donghyuck, was his name? was complete eye candy to look at. his fluffy brown hair and gorgeous brown eyes pulled you in, maybe because he was your destined lover was why you looked at him in such a light, but never did you think someone you’d just met be so pretty to look at.

“you’re staring, soulmate, am i that handsome?” he teases, running his hand through his hair as if to try to make himself more attractive in your view, and you couldn’t deny its effect.

“not at all, soulmate, i was just zoning out” even his clothes seemed to perfectly match him. with a black shirt over his warm brown hoodie that accentuates his hair and eyes.

“i’m sure” he rolls his eyes, clearly not believing your bluff. “anyways, do you wanna go get ice cream? i’m sure you wouldn’t trust me enough to head to my place” Donghyuck said with a comforting smile, rubbing the back of his head.

you hit the jackpot.

not only was he a complete treat to look at, he was respectful too? you probably could’ve figured it out before he offered the ice cream, which always tastes better in cold whether, you figured out, but to have him acknowledge that you wouldn’t be comfortable enough to follow him to his home was really what sold you.

“yeah, let’s go”

˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ 𐙚 ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖

by the time the two of you reached the ice cream store, it was already so close to closing you two might as well have been the last customers for the day. but the cashier showed no signs of fatigue and hurriedly went to scoop up the ice cream.

“thank you” you say to the cashier girl, and just as you were about to pay, Donghyuck holds your hand to stop you.

“i’ll pay, i was the one who offered, after all” he holds out his credit card and deets (real word; trust 💪🏻) it, paying for the ice cream. he waves goodbye to the cashier girl and leads you to a playground. usually this playground would be chalk filled with kids playing around, but in the cold winter, almost no one comes here anymore.

“you know, i never thought i’d meet my soulmate, especially a soulmate who’s a looker” he says, sitting down on a bench and looking up to the sky, seeing the starry night sky and beautiful moon. “you seem pretty nice too, though maybe i don’t know enough about you to say that yet”

you nod, sitting down next to him as you listened to what he said. “i hope i’m a nice person in other people’s eyes, but i just know you’re one.” everything he’s done so far, offering ice cream, paying for it, hell, even just knowing you wouldn’t want to go to his place, was enough to tell that he was a nice person. “i scored a home-run”

“and you’re a looker too,” you say, a small smile on your face. “pretty boy, through and through”

Donghyuck chuckles and god how you hoped you’d get to hear that sound for the rest of your life. he smiles warmly, a stark contrast to the weather you both were currently sitting in. “i like you, many people don’t compliment others so easily” he moved in a little closer, but far enough for you to not feel like he’s invading your personal space.

“this could work really well for us, right? this soulmate stuff”

“yeah, i think so”

and with that, the rest of the night was filled with talks and laughter as you got to know each other, as the stars and moon watched from above with calm smiles on their faces, knowing the fates have made another excellent pair that day.

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(the amt of commas in this should be a crime)

not proofread at all so sorry if it’s bad or i messed up with pronouns (pls tell me if i did 🙏)

have a good day guys!

[pensat-i-fet]

Finding the perfect gift (Rúben Dias x Reader)

**Not much to say about this one, just a cute little request 😊 enjoy!! ❤️**

Word count: 1266

Masterlist

Wattpad

The news of Ines' pregnancy had made everyone happy, of course. But Rúben was probably the happiest of all of Bernardo's teammates. You could tell by the way he beamed whenever Ines called him Uncle Rúben and found it adorable. He was ready to spoil that baby as much as possible.

"We are invited to the baby shower", he announced one day when he came back from training.

"I would be more surprised if we weren't", you laughed. "When is it?"

"Next week. And I need to buy a present".

"Sure. I have a couple of things saved on my Amazon wishlist that we can order".

"But that would be your present. I have to get one that's mine".

That made you raise an eyebrow. "Pretty sure that, as a couple, we can get away with something that is from the both of us. You know, like we do for birthdays, Christmas, …".

"Yes, but it's Bernardo. Not a random teammate. So I want to make a bigger effort".

"Alright. I know what I'm ordering so go ahead and get something on your own".

He thought it would be so easy. It was just a baby, right? And his friends would appreciate anything he got for their child but…he just couldn’t find the right gift, at all.

“Can I see your Amazon account for a second?”, he asked you one day when he saw you ordering something.

“What for?”

“I ordered something from it once and I need to check one thing quickly if you don’t mind”.

“Sure”, you said, not thinking much about it. “Let me finish the order”.

When you were done, you passed the iPad to him, still logged into your account and he went to your wishlist right away but…there were no baby things! Your order history showed the clothes and toys you had bought for baby Silva but all the other things you were supposed to have saved on your wishlist were gone. You and your being an organization freak. It wasn’t the best time for that.

Rúben realised his mistake was probably wanting to buy the gift online. He couldn’t see the sizes or colours well so better to go to a shop. But once he was there, he was overwhelmed. One of the ladies who worked there tried to help him by showing him half the store but most of it just seemed like things the baby was probably going to get from everyone or just useless stuff.

When he got home that day, you were on the sofa reading a book and didn’t have time to say hello to him before he sat down dramatically.

“What’s that face for?”

"I give up", he said, placing his head on your stomach.

"You are giving football up? Come on, you are not that bad".

“The gift”, he said, voice muffled by the jumper you were wearing.

“What gift?”

“The baby’s”.

“You still don’t have one? Rúben, the baby shower is in two days. Just put your name on the cards I got for what I bought. It’ll be fine”.

He looked up at you, still not willing to give up.

“Maybe if we knew the sex of the baby, it’d be easier. It’s the parent’s fault”.

“Don’t be so old-fashioned, Rúben. Toys and colours are unisex”.

He groaned, hiding his face on your stomach again.

“Are you ready to ask for my help now?”, you said, trying not to laugh.

“I’m ready to beg for your help”.

“I quite like the idea of you begging”.

“Can we go to the shop now? Please?”

“Sure, there is one near, around the…”.

“Not that one”, he said, making you frown. “I was there now and I don’t want to embarrass myself more”.

After a 20-minute drive, since the baby shop near your place was now off-limits, you got to the one in a shopping centre.

"Ok, did you have any ideas of what you wanted to get? There are toys, clothes, things for the nursery, for their travel bag, …".

"Why are babies so complicated?"

You bit your lip trying not to laugh at his little tantrum. It was weird to see Rúben not in control of the situation. And it was very amusing too.

"Hi, can I help you?"

He turned hearing the voice of the shop assistant ready to reject her help but you interrupted.

"Yes, thank you. We needed a few things for a newborn".

"Oh, congratulations! You aren't even showing, when are you due?"

Rúben's pale face made you laugh. You couldn't help it.

"I'm not pregnant. It's for a friend. Her baby shower is in a few days and we wanted to get something cute for her baby".

"Of course, sorry. But you would make gorgeous babies. Just saying".

Rúben was now looking pensive.

"She isn't wrong".

"But babies are so complicated", you mocked him.

You put your hands on his shoulders to move him lower and kiss his frown before leading him to follow the shopping assistant that was ready to show you all the things you could buy and then some.

"This is one of our best baby bags. It has space for the diapers, the bottles and all that, but also an area for things the parents might want to carry. So there is no need for handbags or anything else".

"It's lovely", you said. "It almost looks like a normal handbag".

"She probably has one already", said Rúben, annoyed at how basic all the options were.

"Well, they'll be traveling a lot so it's good to have more than one".

He sighed and you took that as a sign to look for something else.

"Rúben, you don't like anything", you whispered to him and noticed his defeated face. "Thank you for your help. We'll think about all the options and come back for something".

"I just…I just want to do something original".

"How about you make your own gift?"

"How?"

"Well, there are all these new things like scrapbooks to write down all the first things the baby does. Or boxes to keep stuff to remember the pregnancy or whatever. I don't know. It was never good at arts and crafts so I went for something basic but useful", you said, shrugging.

Rúben's response was to grab your hand and lead you to another shop…an arts and crafts shop?

"You are always so literal", you laughed. But he finally had an idea. And you could tell how much his mood had improved.

Half an hour later, you left the shop with several bags full of boxes, pencils and other materials he needed for his gift.

And when you got home, it was time to get it all ready. You helped him, picking the colours that looked the cutest together and recommending what each little box could be for. Rúben used that time to teach you more Portuguese words, which he always loved doing.

"Done", he said, looking proud.

"Uncles trying to find the perfect gift for their nephews are so complicated".

                                    **

When you got to the baby shower, you left Rúben alone so you could join Ines and her family.

"Hey, can you take my gift somewhere else?", he asked Bernardo.

"Why? Just put it with the others".

"It's…fragile".

"What did you get?"

"I didn't get it, I made it".

Bernardo smiled at his friend, not surprised at all.

"That's the most Rúben thing I could imagine. Let me take it to our room. Ines and I will open it together later. I'm sure it'll be the best gift our baby got today".

[sensacetionalshady]

@summerstrash

god, I can't remember all of it because I had an intense brainrot session about it like 2 months ago and never again, but basically the plot kinda went like this (keep in mind that I still haven't actually read Alex in the Krakoan era, but I read some stuff in the wiki and extrapolated from there):

Alex goes to therapy after being all depressed and moody in the Summer house after all the Limbo business and Rachel tosses some clothes at him with a business card for some kinda pro-mutant therapist she trusts; after a few session he realizes some of his more toxic/problematic behaviors are bad and that maybe he should be single for a bit longer (and maybe even forever bc I WILL make everyone aromantic) while he apologizes to his exes and also comes clean about his feelings of inadequacy to Scott and etc etc etc basic therapy stuff yk?

He's doing better and growing his hair out as a symbolic way of showing his growth as a person (and also because his therapist suggested he try to do some permanent modifications to his body by his own choice to make him feel more grounded in his own body, he's very hesitant because he wants to be seen as normal, so he starts out easy with the hair [later on definitely gets some tattoos and piercings and goes to a leather bar to realize hey this is actually fun]) when he gets accidentally referred to as ma'am by some of the younger mutants that don't know who he is and something in his brain *clicks*; he goes home and starts googling what the fuck is going on, asks himself if he's a woman, but doesn't know how to answer that so he goes to his lesbian niece to try and parse these feelings; Rachel suggests he try out some pronouns with her and other trusted people (punches Alex's shoulder and says "At least your name is already unisex, auntie." and Alex actually does really like Rachel calling her aunt)

Anyway, she takes an impulsive leap to go on estrogen to force herself to do a slightly more permanent body mod like her therapist said and, slowly over the course of some months, actually becomes pretty happy about what her body looks like on E; she starts being a little more social and confident and standing up for herself around others and eventually everyone in Krakoa kinda knows that she's Cyclops' sister now

Cut to the 90s X-Factor team having some kinda villain do some wibbly wobbly time shit that brings the whole team from the Krakoan Era back to their time, but it scatters them around the country. X-Factor puts out a government APB for "people that match our exact description except older" to try and get them all in one place so they can send them back into their own time; Lorna and Jamie make their way to X Factor HQ themselves, Guido and Rahne go to Guido's parents' place and then the HQ from there, while Alex has decided to plop herself in a leather bar because while she /could/ go to the HQ, she doesn't know if it's the best idea to show her younger self what she looks like (hell, she wouldn't show herself to who she was half a year ago) and besides, it's not as if they would believe that she is who she says she is

The whole team minus Alex is in X-Factor HQ, the old team is kinda marvelling at how they look when they're older and someone (probably Jamie) points out "alright, now we just need old Alex and you guys can go back to your own time" and the Krakoa team collectively inhales through their teeth and are like "yeaaahhhhhhh about that... there's a reason you haven't found h- ... /Alex/ with that description."; old team is very confused but they refuse to clarify; the time displaced guys take it upon themselves to go and find Alex because they can't exactly give a description without her permission because they would be outing her

I think Lorna would be the one to find her sulking and frowning at a newspaper just reminding herself what happened during this time; she convinces Alex to come to the HQ so they can all go back to their own future, but Alex knows that if a younger her saw the tattoos and hair and clothes and most noticeably boobs that it would seriously disrupt the timeline, or at least /her/ timeline; Lorna agrees but remarks that they can just put some makeup on her and cover her up with clothes and Alex just sighs because she /just/ got to a point where she can be herself freely but now she has to go back to being that insecure and self-censoring man

They probably have like... some telepath (preferably Emma but idk if she's a good or bad guy at this point) come and erase the memories of seeing older Alex after they've sent everyone to their own time. that or the Krakoa era guys convince like.. Hank or someone else to take them back. I don't know, I can't remember the ending

This idea mostly happened because I had a brainstorming session of what trans Alex would actually look like and then it devolved from there. I'm doing some sketches today and will share them once I stop travelling and get wifi because I'm on a bus rn lol

[nearestend]

assigning fragrances to my (canon) muses. for funsies because it's my favourite activity ever, also utilizing my favourite website of all time, wikiparfum. continue reading if you'd like to see me infodump about perfumes. this is completely unnecessary. like many other things on my blog, none of this really matters, but it matters to me.

if you would also like an unnecessary perfume analysis for your muse, go ahead and give this post a like and i will get back to you with a customized presentation.

amanda: i highly doubt mandy is wearing scents at all, i don't think she cares for that. but i'm giving her one anyways because i can. (it was extremely hard to find one i felt suited her though.) inexcusable evil by toskovat. now, i have never actually smelled anything from this brand and i think their bottle design and logo both kind of suck, but based off the description of the fragrance, this might be mandy's. the descriptions i found for this on both wikiparfum and the brand's website are WILD. one of the top notes is gunpowder. heart notes include burn accord, iodine, and blood accord (LMAO???). i mean, i did purposely look for one that has blood accord, but i didn't expect to find any because that's not like, a popular scent. and then base notes are actually normal things like olibanum and sandalwood. also has cypriol, which gives a smoky, woodsy scent, which is the vibe i wanted for her too.

amy: this was also quite hard because amy is most definitely picky. she'd go for something very elegant and classy that is out of her price range, but she saved up all her money for. yellow hibiscus by jo malone is probably her style, which i also love because jo malone makes some of my favourites. it's very femme, but technically unisex, which i think is neat because i could also see laurie wearing it to. (i can see them sharing the same fragrance. they're that kind of couple.) it's very green and floral (hibiscus, rose, jasmine) and quite citrus forward. most importantly, lime! for the most obvious reasons of all (amy canonically loves limes). it's a really bright, fresh, sunny, and radiant scent, all very fitting for her. also my backup option for amy was bergamot by malin & goetz, but yellow hibiscus is way more fitting. i also considered going with something from the brand fragonard because that's a personal favourite of mine (i was gifted a set of them once and they are very nice), but couldn't decide on one in particular.

cameron: yes, i know the best we'll probably get from cam is that she puts on deodorant. i'm still giving her one anyways, because that's the whole point of this post. not going to bother with trying to find era accurate fragrances though, that's too much work for me. i really want to give her spacewalk by demeter fragrance library, both because it's cheap (cam is not spending more than $45, guaranteed) and because it's inspired by space! which according to an astronaut, smells metallic. (shoutout to the spacebike chronicles.) i do feel the need to include a high end option anyways, so odeur 53 by commes des garcons. it's got ozonic notes, which give it airy, metallic, and aquatic elements, as well as chlorine undertones.

camille: okay so i'm realizing that very few of my muses would wear perfume. i mean, camille is simply too depressed to bother, but again, this is not going to stop me. i decided on black vetyver cafe by jo malone. definitely something she would never buy for herself, but maybe she would wear if someone gave it to her. this one's got coffee, which i think she would like because coffee is her favourite ice cream flavour. there's also coriander, which makes it a bit sharper and peppery, while also green and fresh. warm notes of sandalwood, nutmeg, vanilla, ciste labdanum and woody vetiver. overall, very earthy and autumnal.

connell: he probably starts with something inexpensive from banana republic (either classic green or classic acqua). he's a simple dude, mostly just wants to smell fresh. if i'm going to give him something fancier (we can always say marianne got him a christmas present or WHATEVER), then i'm giving him skin by clean reserve. it's described as tender and intimate, with notes of honeysuckle, orange blossom, musk, and skin accord (which is basically just their way of saying it smells like an intimate embrace). it's all about intimacy, babeyyy.

harry: i have to give him rainbow bar by 19-69, for so many reasons. it's not just the name (and you know, the gayness of it all), but that's a huge factor. the fragrance is inspired by the rainbow bar on the sunset strip, which is pretty synonymous with sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. harry's role in adam's story is very much a representation of desire, intrigue, and the seductive nature of all the aforementioned elements. there's a warmth to this scent that's both comforting and mysterious. i really wanted to find something with notes of whiskey (taking into context, not only harry's introduction, but also his death), so this really fits perfectly. this might be the most "character accurate" choice on the whole list.

jess: i'm not even going to bother giving him something fancy because it feels wrong. smoky and earthy palo santo play by hawthorne is like $50 and that's literally like the maximum i can see him spending lmao. it's got notes of oakwood, sage, palo santo, and guaiac wood. very earthy and smoky, hints of tobacco and whiskey. because you know that boy smells like cigarettes and old leather and pretentiousness, but like, in a cheap way.

jia-yi: i chose fresh honeysuckle by fresh, despite the fact that it's discontinued, because fuck it, she can time travel anyways so that doesn't matter. honeysuckle also happens to symbolize nostalgia and memory, which is fitting. there's additional notes of fruit (peach, plum, blackcurrant bud) and florals (cyclamen, magnolia, ylang-ylang). honestly, i'm just kind of hung up on the fact that it's discontinued because this scent was SO good.

kate: there are so many options i wanted to go for with kate, but i think i have settled on realist extrait de parfum by ilk. it's categorized as being both a woodsy and a watery scent, which is primarily what i was looking for with kate in mind. (because like, weather and rain, you know.) it's got a bit of floral (rose, everlasting), a bit of citrus (yuzu, bergamot, lemon), wood (cedarwood, vetiver, olibanum), with the warmth of amber and pepper. it's described with concepts such as crisp mountain air and rain, appropriate for everyday and casual use. she's not formal or fancy and would want something nice, but versatile.

orla: she's a footballer, so i have to go with something athletic. i'm not like a huge fan of most "luxury sport" fragrances and like yeah, it's not about me anyways, but i don't think orla would be either. she's not someone who would care much about that even if she had the means to, so we're going with something pretty simple and affordable like team five by adidas. technically, it's for men, but she also does not care about gender. it's very fresh, fruity (green apple, lemon), and herbal (basil, pine needles, peppermint, clary sage, lavender) which i think are all scents she'd like. absolutely none of these words mean anything to her; she likes what she likes and doesn't overthink its meaning or importance. her other choice was hot wheels dino by jequiti, which she would 100% buy with no trace of irony whatsoever.

sydney: i felt the need to pick something with cherry notes because of course, the cherry donut that marcus named after her. 18-12 by ormaie is just that, as well as notes of almond, sandalwood, florals (rose, violet, heliotrope), fruit (lychee, bergamot, mandarin) and clary sage. it's quite fresh, youthful, and summery. i like her having sort of a fun and bright scent because her job is just so stressful and sometimes depressing, she needs something to uplift and contrast against all that.

[payservewomen]

I’m tempted to say “I’ve hit a new low”😔 but in reality, I’ve been at rock bottom for…a very long time. Years I suppose.

But at least a few years ago, I interacted with women outside of work. But now? I don’t even leave my bedroom on my days off from work.

I sit on my bed, watching humiliation clips; calling ignore phone lines; taking embarrassing photos of myself; edging myself, oftentimes for many hours(almost never less than 4hrs. up to 12hrs)

The one newer development is- I’ll edge for a while, but then the sadness/anxiety makes me go limp….or i’ll be semi hard but my loser penis only grows slightly larger.

It’s like i’m trying to keep in as small as possible, because I know it should be teeny tiny. It CAN grow to 7in but considering how pathetic I am, part of me wishes I had a microdick. Then I could forget these thoughts i have of becoming a normal person again.

Then I could search 24/7 for a superior woman who wants to use and abuse me.

I fantasize about meeting a woman and dating….Getting comfortable with her to the point that I’m able to do the best I’m capable of in making her orgasm…. But then we open up and share kinks etc….and i know as time goes on, there will be many times my dick doesn’t work.

Slowly over time, she realizes just how much of a beta i am, and begins flirting with real, confident men.

By this time, we’re living together; Maybe one month she asks me to cover all the rent, then bills and spends her money on going out….Then a “friend” of hers(maybe with a unisex name that’s usually a woman’s name)is coming into town; she offers our place to stay….Tells me to make dinner etc saying “ali loves lobster tails and filet mignon! I know ur low on money, but it’s ok! I’ll still have enough left until ur next paycheck! Thanks sweetie! Maybe we’ll meet at the airport, then I’ll let you know when we’re on our way, flight gets in i think about 5pm but who knows if it’ll be on time”

I get off work, begin prepping everything….texting her asking if ali’s plane arrived at 5:30….”it did but we’re tryna find the luggage etc. With traffic it’ll take quite a while, plan for a late dinner!”

By 6:30, still nothing, so i text then call to find her phones off.

I figure she’ll probably be walking in any minute….So i check the “find my iphone” tryna be extra sweet and have everything timed perfectly. I see it moved from the airport towards home and begin making dinner….Until i realize another hour has passed. I check it again to see it’s been somewhere between home and the airport for 2 hours now!

Next thing i know, it’s 10, then 11, then 12 midnight!

I’m dozing off and finally see a text “Omg babe i’m sorry! I lost track of time! Ali said getting a hotel room would be easier, and we’ve just been catching up but ugh it got so late and you know how i don’t like to drive at night anyway, so I’m just gonna stay here tonight, see ya tomorrow!”

I just fall asleep, and wake in the AM to see several weird video texts from a number i don’t know….I hear giggling and a man’s voice….almost seeming like someone’s trying to record something and my gf saying “no stop don’t! that’s mean ali!” There’s at least 4-5 clips like that, the last one ending with my girlfriends sexy belly on the screen. I figure ohhh they’re just having fun i guess? But it did give me a bad feeling in my stomach….

Those vids were sent at about 1am. Then at 2am, just a close up of what i’m sure is my gf’s skin, but i can’t tell what part of her body…..but the audio on it was simply my gfs voice sounding like she’s whining or moaning or something? and saying “mmmmm ohhhhk fuck it”

Then 30mins later the clip begins blacked out, but with clear audio…just sounds like licking and slurping….Then a man’s voice “yeah worship it bitch. Now, say it” then the phone moves, showing an arrogant looking man smiling, then it slowly pans down over his entire perfectly fit muscular body….very slowly, stopping on each part of his stunningly perfect body….i mean this guy had an 8pack! Absolutely chiseled in every way. Then it stops to show his abs and v-lines, and then slowly shows his balls…I didn’t know balls could actually be that big!

Then slowly as possible, the camera moves to show the thickest cock i’ve ever seen!

Then the vids stop…but there’s a text at 4am with only an address….my gf knows i wake up for work at 4am…

i call and text her but her phones off ofc. I go to work, and finally around noon, my gf calls saying she’s going shopping with Ali, saying she didn’t bring any of her credit cards asking if i’ve got any money left…i tell her i’m not sure how much, but i’ve got $500 in a sportsbook app from winning the night before…”omg babe that’s perfect! Don’t worry i can move it from there, is it your normal password?” I answer yes, and ask her just to leave at least $100 or so….

And ask if theyre gonna be having dinner tonight…”yeah sweetie we are! I’ll let you know when we’re on the way”

I ask her wtf all those vids were. and who that guy was and she replies “huh? Wait what? You’re telling me you got videos from a random number?! And it had a perfect man’s body with a horse cock?! Lol babe i dunno what websites you’ve been visiting but i’d imagine it’s something to do with that!🤣 What?! u think i’m cheating on you with an old friend or something?! jk! Love u babe”

I hang up the phone and immediately get the same text with the same address, i look up the address to find a really really nice hotel is there. Then another text comes through simply saying “penthouse suite, beta cuck”

Then another text….just a screenshot of a receipt from stub hub for tickets to the nuggets game that night, 5:10pm. 2 tickets, $250 each, wow, better than i’ve ever had for sure.

Then one more text again with the hotels address, saying “ur welcome to stop by whenever, but i suggest you either wait for us to get there or something. not getting up to open the door if we busy fuckin. Can’t wait to see your bitch ass cry🤣”

This one hits me like a ton of bricks and it’s feeling more n more that it’s gotta be exactly what it seems….but no way she’d do this to me!

The great part of our relationship is complete and total honesty and openness! My gf, allison is kinky and loves to be a dirty slut, and we have talked about her fucking others, maybe even a gangbang!

But we’d only done a handful of super kinky things….we’re both submissive so it’s kinda hard to push it and try really crazy n kinky things….we both need that more aggressive attitude!

But i know she loves me deeply. We’ve such an intensely strong emotional connection, more than either of us ever have!

Still no word from my gf and it’s 8pm. At 9pm she finally texts me but it’s the exact same as from the other phone number and it’s just the hotel address and room number…..I call her back, and it rings and rings until going to voicemail. Maybe she didn’t hear it, i call again…it rings 3-4times, less than the last time, then goes to voicemail. I try again and it rings twice then voicemail….Again, same thing. I call yet AGAIN, prob the 6th time and it goes straight to voicemail!

I check the phone locator app and see her phone was at ball arena(nuggets play there)the length of the game….and moved to exactly where the hotel is.

I get dressed, now fearing the worst, but thinking “ok this makes no sense! Either she’s playing some joke on me; something weird like that or some surprise for me?”But i do realize that the most likely thing is…maybe she’s been partying with her friend, she cheated and isn’t sure how to deal with me…..But what’s up with the pics etc? ofc she’s aware of my pervy kinks etc, and she’s prob making it seem like she’s cheating on me, i’m hoping!

I walk to the light rail station, and get on the train….Ugh yeh don’t have the money to get an uber…i checked my bet365 account to see its at zero!

Wtf?! I had some futures bets….ones i could cash out for about $250 total, but they were all just cashed out! i’ve not one bet at all and no money here!

I see that $800 was withdrawn and my bank account was credited $800! But $500 used for the tickets, and $300 spent at some weird fancy store downtown.

Ok that’s it i’ve gotta see what’s up as i’m sitting on the train, mind running wild. Fuck, i gotta get off and walk 20mins, then get a bus!

I get off the train, walking to the bus stop…..Bus finally comes and oh fuck, as i’m tryna buy a bus ticket on the app(for $2.75) It dawns on me “fuck i don’t have enough money in my account” i look at the driver and say “i’m not sure why it’s not working” he looks at it and says “yeah cuz you’re card is being declined, sorry” and closes the doors.

I’m defeated and want to cry. Looking at google, i see it’ll take 2.5 hours to walk there….

It’s now almost 10pm and i consider going back home, but then wtf?! I can’t just sit at home wondering wtf is going on!

So i walk and walk…i watch the clip again and again of the perfect man’s body, fantasizing that the woman i’m in love with is cheating on me in the meanest way possible….Finally, it’s after midnight and I arrive at the hotel….I ask the front desk how to get to the penthouse, and she tells me “the elevator is right over there, but Sir, there isn’t anyone staying there right now”

I thank her and walk away tryna figure out what to do.

I text my gf asking why she texted me that address. she texts back right away with another address! I lose it and call a few times, each time it’s sent to voicemail. I text her back yelling “OK WTF is going on?! What’s your problem? Tell me what’s happening right fucking now!”

She texts back “i’m sorry sweetie, i didn’t mean to upset you! Just having fun with my friend, sorry guess i didn’t realize….I’ll be home tonight, but we’re out, omg babe i’m so drunk! I’ll see you at home, probably late!”

So i begin to walk back home…and remember the light rail isn’t running anymore….Now, I’ve got a 3.5 hour walk!

Finally i arrive home, it rained a little and i’m soaked, socks wet, and miserable and exhausted….

I open the door and hear slurping sounds and my gf giggling. My heart sinks and i already know what’s happening….I yell “wtf are you laughing about?! The fuck is wrong with you, ur being a fucking bitch!”

And i see the same man from the clips emerge from my bedroom, butt naked….he’s holding my favorite shirt, sweat dripping off his immaculate body and he wipes it off, then wipes his asshole with it, now it has skidmarks and throws it at me, saying “wtf did you say bitch?”

I ask who he is and what he’s doing at my place he replies “whatever tf i feel like doing faggot!” I say no it’s my place, and no i’m not gay” i emphasize gay, since i’m not a fan of bigotry and homophobia…”yeh didn’t say your gay, but you ARE a bitch ass faggot! Wtf you gonna do about it, huh? that’s wtf i thought, now, on your knees…obey or i’m gonna beat you up so badly….maybe you’ll get outta the hospital by the time i get out of jail, but it’s your choice” while making his pecs bounce in a very intimidating way. he walks up to me cracking his knuckles saying “ya know, i really DO hope you put up a fight; nobody ever wants to fight me” I look him up and down, knowing he’d kill me quickly….He’s gotta be a foot taller than me….im 5’9 and he’s gotta be at least 6’6!

I ask if i can take my shoes and wet socks off first and he laughs then slaps me in the face, open handed but hard, immediately followed by a left handed slap, i lose my balance and stumble to my knees, then i say “ok ok” on my knees looking up at him.

“Thank me for bullying you. Do it bitch” i thank him, he laughs, spits on me and gives me a wedgie….i make noise indicating it’s hurting, and he proceeds to give me an atomic wedgie…laughs then demands i take my clothes off but keep my wet socks on….

He laughs hysterically at my dick and shouts “baby, how tf were you actually fucking THIS?! omfg, ok come on slut”

And i see my love…she’s crawling on all fours..crawls up to this greek god and begins kissing his feet. She works her way up his legs, as she kisses and licks literally every inch of his perfect body.

Ali then says “ok now, don’t make me tell you again”

She looks me directly in my eyes “Bobby, keep looking in my eyes, ali says we must keep eye contact and he’s in charge here, ok? Please listen to what he says, i don’t want you to get hurt, i really don’t…not physically anyway. I say that because i i i DO want you to get emotionally hurt. I am sorry but when Ali told me he wanted to fuck me, i told him about you. Over months he kept teasing me for fucking such a loser; i love you but you are a loser. He’s been sending me pics of him, and the girls he fucks and omg babe, they cum so hard, and I fondly remembered being fucked by ali. I broke up with him cuz he cheated constantly and i thought that wasn’t ok, Now i realize how superior he is. It’s a small price to pay to be allowed to touch a superior man, im sure you understand. After i admitted how badly i wanted him he began insulting you and making fun of you. He made me take pics and record our sex, and that’s why i haven’t cum in so long, he said i wasn’t allowed with a loser like you. Ali is a sadist, he loves to make women worship him and loves nothing more than breaking beta men like you. That’s not an insult; you’re a beta, he’s an alpha, ya know?

He’s been planning for months to do this….it’s his masterpiece of destroying a loser!”

By this time i’m crying, tears streaming down my face…

“now bobby, we’re recording all of this and you’re now going to thank ali for making your fantasies come true. I know it hurts; the goal is to break you. Ali and i will marry, and you will work for us and live in a tiny room in the basement. U will be used and abused. I know it hurts but this is your new life now. Sure you can run away or something, but then ali will send all the vids and clips to your entire contact list.

But right now you’re going to beg ali to let you eat his sweaty asshole, do it you fucking piece of shit!” By this time ali is rubbing her pussy with his foot and it’s making her horny af….mmm fuck, i fucking hate you loser!” And she spits on me, confusing and hurting me.

I begin to beg to eat his asshole….

And wow, I began this planning on just whining about being so sad and pathetic but then wrote all this…wow i’ve got issues

[liquorishblack]

What the adult trio smells like / which fragrances they use…

Hey Folks,

since I´m the biggest perfume-hoarder I know of, it was just a matter of time when the question „What do Hisoka, Illumi and Chrollo actually smell like?“ crosses my mind. The day night has finally come, so here is my headcanon…

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

❈ Hisoka Morow:

As for Hisoka, the answer was clear to me right from the start: „Lost Cherry“ by Tom Ford. It just has to be! And here is why: "Lost Cherry“ is a fruity-sweetish scent, but not a childish cheap one. In my opinion this perfume is best described as a boozy-almondy amaretto cherry. It is strong, sexy, bold, extremely seductive and intoxicating and therefore it can be even a bit annoying from time to time - just like our beloved jester. Even though „Lost Cherry“ is labeled by the brand as unisex, I find it quite feminine, but I´m sure, Hisoka wouldn´t mind. The fragrance is very unique and I´ve actually never smelled it on anybody else before … and it´s expensive… something tells me, that Hisoka would never smell like something mainstream and will always go with some kind of niche fragrance. Also I´m pretty sure that this man has quite an expensive taste. Tom Ford itself is a bold and luxury brand which also suits him very well. Not to forget that "Lost Cherry" means something on the lines of "lost innocence/virginity" which makes this fragrance a match made in heaven for a horny clown person.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

❈ Chrollo Lucilfer:

Chrollo may have a fable for the gloomy and occult and we all know that he can be extremely cruel, but when it comes to the troupe members there´s no doubt regarding his loyalty. Therefore I can sense some kind of warmth that he carries deep down in his dark soul. For him I would suggest „Herod“ by Parfums de Marly. A woody, slightly sweetish and spicy scent with some smokey chords which make it cozy, sexy and mysterious alike. But buckle up, Ladys and Gentlement, just like „Lost Cherry“, this fragrance is a panty-dropper. Thats for sure!

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

❈ Illumi Zoldyck:

Illumi keeps me guessing tbh. I can imagine two completely different scents for him. Either, I see him wearing a very very heavy, somber and classic fragrance, such as Memoir Man by Amouage or - since he's an assassin and frequently needs to stay unnoticed on his missions - he would prefer a much more lighter, barely perceptible and synthetic scent, perhaps with a clean and even slightly medicinal note. In this case, I immediately had to think of all kinds of molecule-fragrances, since they are somehow present but not at all tangible. With such a scent, Illumi would be able to sneak up not only against the wind, but also with it. Therefore I would suggest a woody-synthetic-molecule for him, just like ISO-E-Super or Ambroxan.

[laceybun]

hi, i hope this anon finds you well! i heard about you from lawrence, would you mind sharing tips on how to navigate fragrantica? thank you so much!

Hi there!! I’m very happy you decided to reach out, I’ll try my best to explain through screenshots of me going through my most frequented aspects of the website (on mobile, specifically) I’ve highlighted buttons to explain them!! Please feel free to let me know if it’s helpful or if you have any other questions!!⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ᡣ𐭩

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ᡣ𐭩 So, opening the website will lead you to the main page. This is filled with articles on newer fragrances, sometimes older fragrances, and is sorted by recency. If something intrigues you here, I really recommend reading the article to find the perfume it’s reviewing! There will usually be a link to the perfume somewhere within the article. (I usually just skim until I find the perfume being described lol)

𝜗𝜚 By pressing on the three lines in the top-left corner, it will lead you to a directory of different aspects and functions of fragrantica as a whole, including things like a perfume finder, notes, and the website forums.

❦. By pressing in the top right, you will be able to log in/register, if you have not made an account already. If you have made an account already, it will have a way to access your private messages, your profile, recently viewed perfumes, and a fun lil option to “perfume yourself”, which is just to show what perfume you’re currently wearing! ^.^

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ᡣ𐭩 As you can see, there’s a whole lot to look through!! I really recommend exploring it if you have the time to do so, just to get a level of familiarity with the website.

𝜗𝜚 (I chose yellow but I’m doing orange instead oops) This is where you’ll find a masterlist of notes, as well as descriptors of each note, sorted into categories based on scent type. (Gourmand, floral, etc.) Useful for building familiarity with scents and their descriptors, and for finding notes you didn’t think existed! (Priests robes? HUH???)

♡ྀི Searching by notes is my preferred method of finding perfume, it’s incredibly useful and fun!! ^.^ By going through there, you will be able to include and exclude notes, choose masc/fem/unisex, and be given a directory of each perfumes that fit within the parameters you have provided! I use this a lot, lol. Fantastic for finding perfumes based on characters, if you’re able to imagine notes they might wear.

❦. Perfume finder is one I don’t use very often, but it’s an honorable mention. By inputting a perfume you know you like, the algorithm will give you unbiased perfume suggestions of similar fragrances based on note makeup.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ᡣ𐭩 If you have a signature fragrance, you can add it, and right beside that, you can add up to four favorite fragrances.

♡ྀི Let’s assume now that you’ve logged in, by going to your profile, you will be able to find your owned perfumes, previously had perfumes, perfumes you want, and perfumes to test out; Custom lists, which I use for character perfumes or perfume recommendations for friends (as shown by Lawrence’s fragrance list, which I have favorited so it shows up on my main profile, aka easier access for newer people to the site!); And your rated perfumes! Another fun aspect of this website is finding perfumes you’ve tested, used, smelled, whichever way you’ve used it- you can keep track of your opinions on these fragrances through the ratings of love, like, neutral, dislike, and hate.

❦.

(I’ve used up my 10 image per post limit since I’m on mobile oops… If there’s anything else you’d like me to explain, again, I’ll make a part two!! ^.^ thanks for reading!! ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ ᡣ𐭩)

[psshaw]

Got some interesting anons while I was hiking on vaycay. I've been thinking about how to answer these for awhile.

Content warn for detransitioner coping. Also me rambling at varying levels of tact. Obvs I'd appreciate any trans or detrans people who have something to correct or add to help this person.

Hi. So. 2 things you’re doing here that I think both cis and trans people mess up at all the time, especially when they're stressed.

One: Listening to other people more than yourself. Two: Looking for other things to blame in a way that stops you from learning from your own choices.

I think I understand some of what you experienced, but the conclusions you’re drawing feel distorted and self-serving. It feels like you jumped from one prescriptive view (girls have to be boys in order to like certain things or talk to certain people) to another prescriptive view (masculinity is something you have to earn and perform in a certain way).

Anyone who critiques what you do or how you present yourself for not fitting a certain term has more in common with a 50s martini dad than they do with a walk-the-walk humanitarian. Personally, I am not interested in defining masculinity (or femininity, which I notice you didn’t claim to also have prereqs for)— I know some soft-ass bitch men who are still men. Standards for gender are arbitrary location- and time-specific rules. They’re also weapons we use to fuck with each other. Imo calling someone un-[gender] is kinda like telling a western teen with an ED that they’re not skinny enough: it's not helping anyone's health or peace of mind. The only point is to feel superior somehow.

I don’t see a point in setting hurdles for gender expression when I can instead worry about demanding unisex reasonable and rational interpersonal behavior.

(I also just find gender extremely boring. I was not raised to care much about who's doing what as what. Gender should matter in sociology, pronouns, fucking, and... that's probably it. Focusing on whether someone is performing something correctly or whether you should buy an enamel pin that says "spacegender" on it are both addictive navel-gazing activities that could be replaced with more demonstrative self-actualizing like making art, joining a hobby/activism community, or reading something you normally wouldn't.)

I don’t think I need to tell you that taking hormones in order to make friends is a very strange thing to do, no matter how young or lonely you are. I think you should check in with yourself ASAP to figure out why you sought out voluntary medical assistance to impress other people. (People who you assumed would only talk to you if you were trans…? So, possibly bad people.) This would never have occurred to me. (I am scared of needles.) This sounds like a tendency that will kick your ass more than just this once.

The nice thing about people is that you can walk away from one and find a better fit. If you're a weird chick, I hope you take pride in being a weird chick. I hope you make yourself hard to replace or replicate. I hope you learn to love unnerving or impressing people as you flip through them looking for the ones who "get" your wavelength. I would personally rather have no friends than to try to please someone who doesn't like who I actually am. That sounds exhausting.

If someone actually told you you can't use "she" pronouns while taking T, that person's a dorky little snot. "Uhhh, the Gender Bible says this is a violation of the Gender Commandments... I'm telling Gender God"— big deal. Gender Spankings and Gender Hell only exist if you believe in them. Fuck the system.

But yeah— you tried something, it was a mistake, and now you have to navigate life with it, like an impulse tattoo or juvenile leg-lengthening surgery. You are not a “mutant”, you just slid around the human secondary sex characteristics scale. My condolences on the beard and stuff. I think the best you can do now is to find a way to embrace it and let it make you an extra quirky gal. You have a dark past now! That means experience! You can use this flub to make yourself into a cooler, smarter person that future kids can admire and learn from, not someone obnoxiously bitter who they won’t even wanna talk to.

The way you describe your experiences/projections, I assume you were born after 9/11. The millennial trans people I talk to don’t talk about gender the way you’re describing. They grew up in the “no homo” and “I’m not like other girls” era, and I think it made most of them pretty "none of my business" about how people present overall. They just wanna be able to go out and be respected and loved.

I’ve noticed that Zoomers have perfected identity-based consumerism and putting yourselves(?) in boxes. I have traced a vague progression: GNC/queer people existing forever while being maligned -> “no homo” shit -> Tumblr wave feminism -> greater LGBT acceptance leading to freer expression (but still mainly via buying clothes and makeup) -> more people realizing you can fuck with gender and see if it solves your problems -> genderfuckery becoming a half-joking recommendation (I've experienced this directly) -> half-joking rehashes of gender essentialism without realizing it -> The Present, where I’m watching the early 20-somethings I know fret every few months about what gender/sexuality/mental health labels they should use, as if there’s going to be a quiz at the gates of Heaven.

Obviously I don’t get that last half. Part of that is because I’m cishet, and I’ve checked in with myself enough to know that there’s no other label that will solve any of my problems. I know that every time I acknowledge an autism semi-diagnosis, it makes me content with my flaws instead of trying to fix them. I would much rather be on thin ice and have to be alert to how my actions affect others than to be implicitly accepted because I called myself something. Again, what in you craves that kind of effortless belonging, even at the cost of your sincerest wants? Do you crave unconditional love, or would you prefer deep understanding? What can you feed to that need instead?

I'm friends with trans people because we share the same hobbies and worldviews. My friends do not seem to care that I'm cis as long as I'm respectful. I like that I can fuck with gender stuff around them and they won't judge. If someone jokes that I'm wrong about my own identity, I do get kinda embarrassed for them, but I also choose to take it as a compliment that they see themselves in me. Nobody can control what I do. I love being a good example and reminding people of all groups not to assume!

I also don't list identity stuff in my bios, so everyone has to give me a chance and guess based on how I act. Then... they find out they like me. >:)

Anyway. I hope you feel better! I hope you make some friends who aren't freaky-obsessed with gender, "critical" or not. I wouldn't mind hearing more from you, but also: I will not debate the validity of transness with you, because I think there are way more important things people do that we need to whine about. Also it puts me in a weird position cos I don't like to yell at anons.

[soundwave-macaque]

My personal queer adventure. Happy Pride!

For those who are uninterested, this is my story of how I became very queer. I yap a lot so tl;dr I'm an Aromantic Bisexual Demigirl who couldn't be more happy right now.

I am making this post in part to always remember this pride month (and specifically this day). Being queer has always been hard for me to do, growing up AMAB and surrounding myself mostly with people who judge highly for being outside the norm made me pretty convinced of some schools of thought that I currently find detestable.

Despite my struggles, finding people who accept me and learning how to allow myself to be queer has been a frankly bizarre and wonderful adventure. I wouldn't trade it for anything, even with how difficult it can be.

It was rather easy to come to the conclusion that I was Aromantic (for as long as I could remember I wasn't the biggest fan of romance) and not long after it became pretty apparent to me how attractive men can be, even if not in a romantic lens. What was really difficult was understanding what the fuck was going on with my gender identity.

It took a while for me to realize that I didn't like my assigned gender at birth. To be fair I still don't take as much issue with it as others like me do. That's probably why it was so easy to dismiss my feelings. "I hate how I look not because I'm experiencing gender dysphoria but because I'm ugly." You know, stuff like that. I felt for the longest time that I couldn't be a different gender because of how little I seemed to hate my assigned gender compared to what others said about there own gender. At the end of the day I was probably just in denial.

Things started to change when I was finally able to grow my hair out. Having long hair gave me something to actually like about myself that I didn't have before. Granted I just chalked this up to liking long hair, no implications of gender whatsoever! What was harder to deny was the way wearing dresses made me feel. One of my best friends was able to gift me one of their dresses. When I tried it on it was like I had finally woken up out of a nightmare. I actually liked what I looked like in the mirror. Liked it! Me! I looked at myself and thought "I look good"! That had never happened to me before.

Now of course this was not enough to make me consider my gender identity no no no I just liked dresses! That was totally cisgender (btw it can totally be cisgender all clothes are unisex if you try hard enough). What especially stopped this was showing this side of myself to my family. They didn't really understand. Some of them tried. Others didn't. It ended up putting a huge damper on my feelings around GNC dressing and really halted my exploration of this side of myself.

Unfortunately for those who very much did not want this outcome, my insatiable gender envy and dysphoria stopped for no mortal! I started to genuinely wish I was born with features that are more feminine. It got to the point where I had started doing research into how I could fake some feminine features. The big one being breasts. I felt like if I could get breasts it would cure a lot of my dysphoria. It was around this time I started to consider the label of demigirl. Mainly because I still don't really feel fully like a girl. I want to look like a girl and dress like a girl, but I'm not fully a girl. More and more research and time went into it and I decided to try out the label, see if things worked.

That leads us to today. In which I haven't fully completed operation fake titty, but I have something to base my feelings around. And oh my god, I love them. I realize that I do not have breasts, but seeing what looks like breasts on my body gave me so much euphoria that my brain finally full sent me into "oh shit, I'm not a man." and honestly, I don't know if I've ever felt better!

This is the only photo I'm proud enough of that has the fake breasts that I can be proud of right now, but I still wanted to share it. I can't put accurately into words how happy I am right now, but wow. This feels good. This pride month will always be special to me. Today will always be special to me. Because today was the day I finally found a piece of myself that I have felt missing for years. Happy Pride everyone. I hope yours are as good as mine is.

[citizenoftmrrwlnd]

hello.. all of this news has been very very hard for us all to handle, as we have quite a few introjects of him..

we were wondering if we could possibly get some names for our cg? they're taking it the hardest and no longer wishes to go by that name. feel free to simply tag as caregiver introject rather than any specifics.

we all think something with a more parental and gentle feeling would work best for him. masculine, gender neutral, and unisex names are all welcome, but we do ask for no explicitly feminine names ( unless as i said they are unisex such as alex sam etc. )

thank you astro. we really do appreciate how you're handling the situation.

to everyone, please focus on the victims, not on who has responded nor on the abuser himself. yes it's an entirely different story if someone tries to advocate for the abuser by attempting to justify it ( in which case flame their ass /hj ) but please just bring all your support to the victims of his abuse and manipulation. thank you.

hello. i hope these names will fit your caregiver introject's needs, i can understand why this news would upset them so much. as this kind anon said, please uplift victims and focus on supporting those who've suffered. if you or anyone you know is in need of help, please never hesitate to contact the dv hotline.

caru or ceri - meaning "to love" lyuben - meaning "love" foster - like a foster parent benvolio - meaning "good will" cedric - supposedly meaning "kindly" gareth - supposedly meaning "gentle" clement - meaning "gentle, kind" vieno - meaning "gentle"

sorry i couldn't find many. i do hope this at least serves as a good starting point!

[secret-third-thing]

do you have any fragrance recs for masc summer scents?

Hey Anon, 

I’m SO excited to answer this question and I hope you find something you like. I’ve put it all under read more so folks don’t hate me for clogging the dash. 

I went through my collection and realized just how spring-forward mine is, but I can give you some *interesting* options to think about. 

So when you ask for masculine - the average consumer thinks of like tobacco, leather, vetiver, cedar, and spices. And you’ll notice alllll of these tend to be more frequently associated with cooler months, notably the Autumnal ones. You’ll get some of them for base notes, but fragrances that highlight them are typically less Summery.

Summer on the other hand is typically associated with fruity, citrus, aquatic, and sometimes even a bit floral. So the fragrances reflect that.

See what I’m getting at here? So this was a fun challenge. And I’ve provided a bunch of options for you depending on your mood and budget. I will preface this however saying a LOT of fragrances these days are marketed as “unisex” so if you look most of these up, they won’t really be described as Masc, but I tried to lean away from florals (with some notable exceptions). For each of these, I’ve provided the fragrantica link so you can do some of your own digging. I tried to go with unconventional here. You aren't going to run into too many people wearing some of these around town.

You can try Scent Split (i swear it's a legit site, I use it) if you’d like to purchase tiny quantities of these... or some of the companies will provide discovery sets! 

AQUATIC or BEACHY

Sailing Day

Klea

Sacred Water

Soleil Blanc

All of these are so incredibly different. I don’t own Sailing Day, but if my memory serves me, it’s fundamentally an “ocean-y scent but better” and highly affordable compared to the other two on this list. Klea is going to trend a little more floral but be more evocative of the Mediterranean Sea. Sacred Water is honestly the best aquatic I’ve smelled. It’s citrus-forward with some hints of floral, wood, and amber. Have you ever wanted to smell like the idea of tropical paradise and sunshine? That is Soleil Blanc. I have gotten many compliments wearing it. There’s a couple of variations from Tom Ford, but any will serve you well. 

CITRUS

The Matcha 26 

So *I* think this is a year-round scent, but most people consider it a spring/summer one! If you like “clean” smelling fragrances, this one has some fig, matcha and citrus with a woody undertone. It doesn’t give people headaches (that I know of) and it’s not very “loud” aka you walk into a room and everyone smells you. 

AROMATIC 

Bal d'Afrique

This one is ambery and woody with some zest! It’s subtle but smells so so so good. If you want a summer scent that’s non-intrusive and elevated, this one is perfect. Some folks say it smells almost peppery.

MISC. 

The Soft Lawn

Ummagumma 

Lampblack

The misc category is my favorite because these scents are odd but perfect. Please give these a shot. 

Have you ever wanted to smell like … fresh tennis balls, but like… In a good way? Or maybe you like to smell like a manicured backyard of the 1%? Try The Soft Lawn by Imaginary Authors. Or do you want an edible and spicy/sweet fragrance you can wear into fall? Try Ummagumma.

BUT if you truly want a year-round fragrance that smells pretty close to what folks consider more masculine fragrances? Lampblack is your scent. I joke that it’s elevated Axe, but I’m serious in that it’s a great fragrance. It’s rich and spicy and I want to eat it. And it's much better than anything you'd find at Macy's (imo).  Be be warned. One spritz is ENOUGH. 

MASCULINE FLORALS (COULDNT HELP MYSELF)

Mojave Ghost

Anything from Boy Smells (try suede pony)

Mojave ghost is not a typical floral, in fact I think you’ll find it more woody/spicy than anything else. But like Bal d'Afrique, it’s pretty subtle on the skin. And then Boy Smells's whole BRAND is unisex/masculine florals. I am the minority in that I don't LOVE them, but they do such interesting things with their florals. And if you really want to lean into the tobacco/leather itc, they have you COVERED.

HOPE THIS HELPED YOU <3

[hot-for-rock]

Picture This

Rick Savage x OC {Casey Spencer}

Part: I

Plot: Casey Spencer is an aspiring rock photographer, who just got the chance of a life time as the photographer for Def Leppard new picture book. What she didn’t expect is to find love along the way.

A/N: Comments are always welcome!

Casey’s POV

I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. I can’t believe I’m actually doing it, that I’m here. That me, Casey Spencer, a rancher's daughter, is taking photos of Def Leppard. It’s been my dream my whole life to be a rock and metal photographer. I know it’s an odd dream for someone who grew up around cowboys and country music. Yet I've loved metal and rock since I first heard it as a kid. The first time I heard those screaming guitars, I was hooked, then I picked up a camera and realised my dream.

Of course I was born at the end of the 20th century, so unfortunately for me it’s not like you can exactly make a living off that alone. It’s not like people are scrambling for photos of old rock stars. So to make money I do wedding photography and other things on the side. I still go to tons of rock concerts and post the photos I take on my social media. I have a pretty large following, and I sell a few prints on my website as well, but I’m far from massive or well known.

I think that’s why it came to me as such a shock when I got the call. It was hard to believe I was chosen as the photographer for the Def Leppard photo book they plan to put out, and that I’d be with them for a whole tour. It almost feels like I’m back in the 80s, and I’m nervous as hell about it.

I know I can take pretty good photos, but Def Leppard are rock legends, good isn’t good enough. They need to be the best thing I’ve ever done, I want to impress them, after all this is a huge break for me. Not to mention def leppard is one of my favourite bands ever, I grew up with posters on them on my wall. I’ve seen them live like 4 times, and own all their records. I have to do them justice. I mean sure they’re all in their 60’a but they all still look good, and therefore deserve to be captured in the most beautiful way possible.

I take one final deep breath as I knock on the door of the dressing room, this is where I meet the band for the first time and my assignment begins. I’m supposed to get more than just staged photos and live shots, also some more candid photos of them backstage and offstage as well. It’s supposed to show all of the tour experience.

I smile as the door opens, and there stands Joe Elliott himself in the flesh a foot away from me. He looks a little shocked to see me standing there at first, but once he spots the camera bag hanging off my shoulder and the crew pass hanging off my neck I think he puts two and two together.

“I’m Casey Spencer, the photographer.” I say, just to confirm the conclusion he’s most likely already come to on his own.

“You’re a woman?” He says, sounding shocked and it’s not that surprising to me. Casey happens to be a unisex name, and it’s definitely more popular for men in my neck of the woods, so this has been happening to me my whole life.

“Last time I checked.” I say, looking down my shirt for an added effect, “it’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, I’m Joe Elliott.” He says, moving aside. “Come on in, and I’m sorry I was just expecting a man because of your name.”

“Thanks, and don't worry about it.” I say walking into the dressing room, stopping dead in my tracks as I look to the left and see Rick Savage, standing there shirtless.

I can feel the blush creeping across my cheeks. I mean sure I’ve seen him shirtless in photos, but it’s a lot different to see it in person. It almost feels like it’s something I shouldn’t be seeing, considering the fact I just kind of walked in here and he probably isn’t expecting me.

Clearly he feels the same because the moment he notices me he grabs for the nearest shirt pulling it on over his perfect chest. I quickly look away as I feel his eyes meet mine, I’d rather he didn’t know I was just gawking at him. I mean I haven’t even officially met him yet.

“I’m sorry about that, love.” He apologises giving me a smile and I can’t help but notice how beautiful his smile is in person. I mean yes in photos it is gorgeous but in person it’s even more so. “I’m Rick Savage, and you are?”

“I’m Casey Spencer, I’ll be your photographer for the tour.” I tell him, doing the typical Montana thing of offering up a handshake when you meet someone new.

“It’s nice meeting you, love.” He says with a smile, accepting my handshake. Just as Viv, Phil and Rick all round the corner. Phil of course is shirtless, showing off his perfectly toned body, but unlike Sav it’s not overly shocking. If he was wearing a shirt it would probably be more shocking, and he’s not really my type. I prefer men with a little chub on them, someone more like Sav.

“Hey, guys. I'm Casey, the new photographer.” I tell them, giving them all a friendly wave.

“Lovely to meet you.” Phil says, giving me a smile.

“I’m Vivian. It’s nice to meet you.” Says Vivian, returning my wave.

“Rick and it’s great to meet you.” Rick says last, giving me a friendly smile.

“I promise you guys I won’t be in the way.” I tell them, making my point by moving to the side of the room. “And if I am, please tell me.”

The last thing I want to do is be a hindrance in any way. I try to be the least annoying person alive. So I hope to keep to that, I’ll be taking lots of photos but I’ll be doing it in the least invasive way possible.

“You won’t be in the way, love.” Sav informs me, “and even if you are we expected you to be a bit.”

“It doesn’t matter if you expect it, just tell me anyways, I don’t mind moving.” I tell him, “I better get going on these photos.”

“Do you want us to pose or anything?” Joe asks.

“No, I want some more candid shots.” I tell them, as I begin setting up my camera and adjusting the setting correctly for the lighting. “I’ll take some staged ones after the concert.”

“Alright works for me.” Joe shrugs, going back to whatever he’s doing.

I pick up my camera and peer through the viewfinder at my first target Phil. He’s sitting a few feet from me doing crunches or pulls up or something. I don't know the terms for workouts. What I do know though is I’m sure these are the kind of photos his fans would eat up, so I line up the camera making a few adjustments before snapping a bunch in a row.

That’s the key to making sure you at least get one keeper, taking a lot of photos. It's especially true when you aren’t staging a photo and therefore can’t manipulate the outcome.

Once I’m finished, I take a quick look through them on the screen and decide I have a couple of keepers and that’s good enough for me. I was nervous but the moment I met everyone and I picked up my camera all those nerves just melted away. I love photography and I’m doing exactly what I’ve always dreamed. I couldn’t be happier, and yes this will be a long assignment but I couldn’t be more ready for it. It’s a bonus they’re all nice as well, which makes working with them a lot easier, because believe me I’ve had some not so nice clients in the past. I think everyone will work out nicely.

_____________________________________________

Sav’s POV

I glance at Casey from the corner of my eye, she’s lazer forced on Phil taking photos of him. Who as per usual is working out, all shirtless and sweaty, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little jealous he’s getting all her attention.

She’s striking, with copper hair and bright green eyes. She has delicate beautiful features, yet her colouring makes her stand out. Casey is gorgeous.

It was surprising to find Casey was a woman, I remember months back when we picked her, we assumed she was a man based on her name. So when a beautiful woman walked into the dressing room I was a bit shocked. If we were back in the 80s I might not have been, back then the dressing room was usually crawling with beautiful women.

It’s not the 80’s anymore and we aren’t young men, women aren’t exactly flocking to us. So now whenever I see a beautiful younger woman I assume she’s someone's guest.

In one way I’m lucky she’s not, I feel less guilty thinking of her the way I am, but in another I’m not. I could never act on those feelings because for one she’s working for me technically, and she’s got to be half my age, maybe even a quarter of it. There is no way she’d possibly want anything to do with an old man like me, especially not in the way I’m thinking of her. It would make it a lot easier to push those feelings aside if she was related to one of the blokes or something, but I’ll just have to fight it.

I quickly pretend to be flipping through my wardrobe as I notice her point the camera in my direction. I’d rather she had no idea I was just looking at her, I don’t want her to get creeped out by it or something. Though I’d love to pose for her, or maybe show off a bit, she instructed us to act like she’s not here. Which for me is clearly an impossible task, after all I’m standing metres away from the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. Something tells me this tour will be a long one.

[girltober]

Girlfit! Gamer socks/armthings and a sundress might not go well together on paper, but I like this fit a lot 🩷 girls just have so many more customisation options to pick from. And you know what they say, you gotta Get Railed in a Sundress 😜

---

So! Girl Month is two thirds over... whats the state of affairs?

Its been a little while since I last posted anything substantive bc well... girltime has been normalised. In the first week I was very strict about wearing only "proper" girly clothes, not even using my normal dressing gown! But as time passed I've allowed myself to wear more unisex clothing - for better or worse. In general Girl month has become less... exciting and wild and more a mundane part of life. I go out in girlmode and don't think twice about it.

I've been on E nearly 2 weeks now with no effect, which I guess I expected but its a little disappointing. My nips don't feel any more sensitive than usual which is lame.

Sidequest 2 and 3 have not been completed, but I'm planning to complete 3 tomorrow which I'm looking forward to (shes soo hot). And I forsee myself completing 2 also bc like... cmon, how hard can it be?

Girl month has also been a little bit of a slut month for me- which has honestly been kind of the best part lmao. I mean my bodycount is still 1, but I've really enjoyed wearing revealing clothes, going out with my girltreat in, and thinking a lot about being a... well a free use fucktoy 😳.

Maybe I'll make another post trying to delve into the psychology of it, but I guess long story short... horny guys are gross, but horny girls are hot. That might only be true in my own lesbian*(?) head but I feel like its not just me who feels that way. Idk theres a lot to unpack there. Being a girl made me feel more confident being a pervert is what I'm saying, for better or worse.

(*For this month(?))

But to the main event: gender.

I started this month with the view that i was doing this for shits and giggles and nipple-orgasms.

I was planning to walk out of this having unlocked Cis+, as a BoyChad like Finnster who can walk through the Valley of Girl and not flinch at the feminine shadows cast over me.

But...

Rrrrrgh.

*deep sigh*

I guess... I'm probably not cis.

Yeah yeah I know the guy who volunteered to dress as a girl for a month for no reason is actually trans big surprise, someone call the pope, who could have seen this coming yada yada.

I will say that I'm not sure that I'm a girl either though.

I enjoy dressing up femme, and I get a little hit of dopamine whenever someone calls me Charlotte or uses she/her pronouns, but...

(Wait typing that sentence in real time just made me realise that i might just be a girl after all uuuh nvm continuing with my original point)

...I don't necessarily... feel like a girl? Like I mostly forget I'm a girl and then occasionally I think "oh yeah I'm supposed to be a girl rn. Or maybe... I just AM a girl for this month? Oh nice I'm a girl I guess sweet" and then carry on with my usual activities.

Although even that sounds pretty trans hmm.

(Good thing I successfully turned off Pop-ups or this post would be unreadable with the amount of Transgender XP I've gained lmao)

Does anyone remember that one comic? Its like the car driving "PENIS" face one except the thought is "im a girl". This is nonsense to non-tumblrinas I'm so sorry, if anyone finds the comic I'm thinking of please send it to me.

Anyway, i may not be a trans girl, maybe I'm nonbinary or maybe genderfluid or bigender or something else... but M** left Plato's cave when he became me/Charlotte, and I/she can't imagine going back in there and forgetting. Wearing a dress is just too much fun to quit lmao.

I definitely think i just don't have a very strong sense of gender in general- I've boymoded for family events and doctors appointments and felt no discomfort or dysphoria- but being a girl recreationally is just more fun!

I might do Boyweek in early november to try to solidify my gender opinions, but for now... my gender is almost certainly queer and i can't wait to find out what I become ^^.

Thank you everyone for reading and supporting me, thank you all my friends for being chill about this and thank you M & L for supplying me with E and thank you Y for being the madlad who took E for lols in the first place and MASSIVE thank you to the one who took me opshopping and opened my mind to polyamory and made this whole experience... just so much more comfortable and fun.

Oh and thanks to the random internet people who followed along too- Its been really cool to see this break containment in little ways!

Uuuh anyway this might feel like a very final retrospective post but I still have a couple of girlweeks left in girlmonth so I'll keep y'all posted with my future girlfits and antics!

Love y'all! ❤️🩷💜

[sapphos-darlings]

So, for context: my father used to give me hell over the probability of me being gay and over the fact that I look like a dude. I've been fighting against this nonsense for many years, but as I just started winning, I feel like giving up and becoming normal.

Finding out that I'm gay and not bi is already too much for me. Obviously, I cannot change that. But I want to be normal in at least one aspect in my life. Yes, unisex and masculine clothing make me euphoric. I'm at my best mood when I look like that. However, I'm not gonna die if I try to apply some makeup or put on something more feminine. The downside is if I do, guys might start checking me out. I know that in a few years I'll probably move out, so this advantage won't matter, but at least I'll cause less suspicions for my family and I'll look more like my favorite alternative character. Recently, while looking at myself in the mirror, I got flashbacks to what I heard and it completely messed me up. Yes, I'm winning the fight for my preferences, but at what cost? I do not feel like a winner, I hate myself for being tomboyish/soft butch and I feel like a stubborn teenager who was arguing over nothing (I'm in my mid twenties). I just wish I could be normal in at least one aspect of my life. Sure, I may hate wearing all that, but it won't kill me to switch things up. I'll look cute, my family will leave me alone and I'll get to look like one of my favorite characters. Everybody wins, so what's holding me back?

Hello, Anon!

Ah, I relate to your stuggles. I too grew up gender-nonconforming, I'm to this day pretty regularly mistaken for a man despite what I wear, and I'm also a lesbian. That is indeed a lot. I understand how it can feel like "too much".

But this is not all you are. You are focusing on your looks and your sexuality a lot here, and for a good reason. You are right, they do affect our lives drastically, and not the least because other people - even those closest to us, such as family - have their own strong opinions and may even judge us solely for those aspects. You write that you wish at least one aspect of you could be normal, and that certain clothes make you feel "euphoric". You use very strong words for these feelings and experiences, but at the same time you feel like giving up.

So what's holding you back? Probably your self-respect. Because even though you're tired and feel this immense pressure, you still want to act loving towards yourself. You have struggled a lot and want it to get easier, of course you do. But I think that deep down you know who you are, and you know you deserve better, and you want to protect these personal, valuable parts of you.

It's very normal to have strong emotions about subjects this close to your heart, things that are so personal, and things that you have put a lot of energy into. You have been through a lot. People you should have been able to trust and rely on to protect you have not done that, but instead caused you pain. You have fought for yourself for a long time. I'm sorry for all the pain you have endured, but very happy that you are here today.

As a woman pushing thirty, I have good news to you: It gets better with age. Things get easier. You are in your mid-twenties and you are looking towards an independent future. I think at least some of your "giving up" feeling is just you are growing out of old pains.

You are so much more than your sexual orientation and your clothes. I know it's a lot to take in and come to terms with, but you can take babysteps. Ground yourself first, solve small problems, take on everyday challenges, do simple things that make you happy. Maybe you are not a confident butch lesbian in perfect harmony today, but you are you every day of your life, no matter what. Maybe tomorrow you are someone who simply does her best, works on silencing negative self-talk, and separates opinions of others from your sense of self worth. Then the day after that, you do it again.

You said you wish you were normal in at least in one aspect of your life, and you definitely are. There's more to you than these two things, and I would bet that you have basic interests, basic hobbies, ordinary worries and beautiful, wonderful hopes and dreams that many people share with you. You might feel hyperaware of some things, but I promise you, those are not be all end all.

Now, actual concrete advice for changing your situation: How can you change your circumstances? You need a long term plan of how to get on your own. Have you made plans to go to school? Or to work? How about move out on your own? What you might need is a step-by-step plan with short-term goals leading up to your big target goal. Have you thought of a profession? Do you have one? How about living on your own, or perhaps with roommates in order to cut costs? Maybe you need a job now and a saving plan to get enough money to do it. Research is your friend, and online you are bound to find people who have been through something similar, and resources on how to get out of difficult family situations.

Meanwhile, focusing on your hobbies, interests, school work, job, friend group activities, whatever you have in your life or you are interested in having, would divert your family's attention too. The very least those will keep you out of the house.

Also, company and friendship of women like you is the balm to your emotional wounds. Seek out other butch and gender non-conforming women, however you can. IRL would of course be the best, but online communities can be just as wonderful and giving, and perhaps more easily available.

Sure, you wouln't die of some mascara, but giving yourself away piece by piece doesn't mean that everybody wins, it means you lose. You are worth so much more than that. You are special.

I wish you all the good luck and strength! Don't give up.

-Lavender