#the entire last season is SOOOOOO

[alittlebit0fmayhem]

𝙻𝚊 𝚅𝚒𝚎 𝚎𝚗 𝚁𝚘𝚜𝚎

I siriusly don't know why I've chosen now to fall back into my marauders phase, mais c'est la vie...

(see what I did there?)

I've taken French for literally five years, (I'm nowhere near fluent tho) so I have no idea why it's taken me so long to incorporate it into my writing.

In all honesty, I'm doing great mentally, but I've been pining for some wolfstar! x reader angst, and I haven't really found any that meet my fancy yet soooooo.

Fine I'll do it myself.

Summary: You were a hopeless romantic who had always tended to see things through rose colored glasses, falling in love with the idea of falling in love. Each new infatuation came to you like a fascination ready to be explored, there was nothing you loved more than the head-games of an all consuming crush. That was until, the latest object of attraction became two boys so incredibly and viscerally out of your reach.

Warnings: Angst! (like a lot), Unrequited love, fluff for a mere second, tbh I feel like it is funny at moments???

Once again, if you see any formatting/grammatical errors, please let me know!

Enjoy <3

———–

It had all been fun and games, it never really mattered, until it did.

It was no secret, to your family, your friends, and least of all you. You loved falling in love.

Bi-monthly, and sometimes depending on the circumstance, bi-weekly you waltzed into the Gryffindor common room with a new tale of budding romance to share with your friends. And they'd just look at you and smile,

"Ah, our (Y/N), ever the helpless romantic." they'd say, all the while you'd confirm their statements with a blush or grin.

It was harmless, innocent, you had made quite the reputation for yourself around Hogwarts.

Anyone who got involved with you knew your tendencies, that your heart could change pace like the seasons came and went. Each boy and girl you set your sights on was like a new game of chess for your dazzling beauty and quick wits to conquer.

Which, you knew in retrospect sounded terrible, but you also knew you were young, and that relationships and love should be something to explore, not something to hold you down.

Besides, it wasn't like they didn't mean anything to you, you felt heartbreak when it was said and done with. To you, the growth and rebirth that came with romance was something equally as beautiful as the summits and triumphs.

You had a sneaking suspicion, that if the Greeks and Romans were right about their gods, you had to have been under Aphrodite's watchful eye.

Coming up on your last year of Hogwarts, you had become unbeatable. You had captured so many suitors, there were even lingering rumors of Veela tainting your blood.

Of course, they were all false, though, you'd never tell anyone otherwise. Because, what fun would that be?

You had at least one crash-and-burn love story from every house to tell, it even got to the point that people were courting you with the intention of "taming" your rampage.

Never, had there been a crush you couldn't bounce back from, no matter how close to breaking you came, you never did.

That was until you just had to go and viciously fuck yourself over.

Your thoroughly used vinyl of La Vie en Rose echoed through your dorm room as it spun for what might've been the millionth time, lyrics serving as a cruel jab toward your current situation.

Des yeux qui font baisser les miens,

You hadn't meant for it turn to out this way. For the first time in your entire life, there you sat, face stuffed into your pillow, wishing to Merlin that your heart could just bleed out of your chest.

Maybe then, it wouldn't be something you'd have to deal with, and you could forget about the prospect of falling in love together.

Un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche,

It wasn't too late at all, it was just after dinner, and the rest of your dorm mates had cleared to the common room to celebrate the winning quidditch match that had transpired hours earlier.

On any usual occasion, you'd been down there with them, curled up on the couch next to Lilly, Mary, or Marlene, sipping rum-infused butter beer in content.

Instead, you were curled up alone, bathed in the dim light of your bedside candle, shivering from the cold.

Your blanket had fallen half down your body nearly fifteen minutes ago, and yet, the last thing on your mind was pulling it back up.

Voila le portrait sans retouches,

You had made some lame excuse as to why you would be exempt from tonight's actives, claiming you wanted to brush up on your divination for the exam at the end of the week.

Everyone had bought it, too high on youthful excitement and laughter to stop once more and examine the dark circles under your eyes.

De l'homme auquel j'appartiens,

As you stuffed your face further into the cotton pillowcase, you desperately wished the ground would open up and take you somewhere dark and quiet. Somewhere you could forget that you existed, so you could stop feeling like such a horrible human being.

Your mind had been clouded with buzzing jumbled thoughts for what felt like hours, never ceasing to give you a moment to rest. You surely thought your ears would start bleeding from how hard you had been thinking all day.

Quand il me prend dans ses bras,

You had now reached a point, with your uniform discarded haphazardly on the floor, and the sleep shirt you garnered swallowing you whole, where your brain had become filled with white noise.

The only coherent thought you could form right now, was how the hell did I get here?

Il me parle l'a tout bas,

Which of course, led you back into a rabbit hole of memories.

Je vois,

 la vie en rose...

The infirmary's visiting hours were long over, the only company you had to keep was the first year who had fallen out of a tree that was sleeping in the cot next to you.

You should've been fast asleep by now, but you couldn't bring yourself to count a single sheep. 

You weren't there for any real injury, a prank the boys had pulled a few hours earlier had backfired, and you had gotten the brunt of their mistake.

What was supposed to be a "pimple-inducing glitter rocket" (you had no idea how they got so creative) headed straight for Severus Snape, was quickly dogged by the intended victim, and who else was so lucky to be standing a few feet behind him, but you?

After a quick potion, you were fine, but you felt a little nauseous from the drink, and a little woozy from all the excitement, so you decided to stay there for the night.

A decision you were vastly regretting, as it was coming up on midnight and you had absolutely nothing to do. 

You had resorted to trying to write a letter to a boy you broke up with two days prior, he had left on quite a sour note, and truthfully you felt a bit awful for him.

It wasn't necessarily his fault, like many prior partners, you'd just grown uninterested. You figured you should at least leave him a note apologizing for the entire ordeal, even if it did get left in the bin.

That would've been great and all, only, you had no bloody idea what to write.

This had to have been the fourth page of parchment you had crumbled up and discarded next to you. With the thin sheet from the hospital bed drawn over you, you sat dumbfounded, cross-legged with a small, pink, dancing flame next to your quill. 

You had started writing the beginning sentence, but then again, nothing came to mind after that. Your regularly admired face was scrunched up deep in thought, your nightgown slipping down one shoulder as you held the feather deep in concentration. 

You re-read what you already had, and decided to just follow up with whatever came to mind. Perhaps, you were thinking too hard. 

After much consideration, you began writing once more, 

"I'm sorry I got bored of you-" scratch. Nope, that was dreadful, this was a lost cause, and you were wretched. 

You huffed dismally, with no regard for the boy sleeping only a few feet away, and just as you prepared to snuff the light out, and try to achieve some shut-eye, you heard it.

You heard the door to the hospital wing slowly squeak open. 

You paused, who would be coming in at this hour?

You turned to the small flame dancing on the candle seated next to you and snuffed it with a pinch before grabbing your wand which was next to it.

"Lumos." You whispered, as a small orb of light spouted from the end of your wand, you dragged the sheet off your form.

You looked around the hospital wing, from the dozing first year to the grand windows that lined both walls, and finally, to the door.

Though open, no one besides you and the boy seemed to be in the room.

But you were raised by wizards and were best friends with the most ruthless tricksters Hogwarts had ever seen, so you know better than to glance only at surface level.

Slowly, you turned and lowered your feet onto the cold stone floor. 

As you tip-toed around your bed, eyes squinting and wand raised high, you spoke aloud.

"Who's there?" Apart from the echo of your voice, and the murmurs from the boy next to you who stirred slightly, silence.

You stepped forward a few more paces so that you were in the center of the room.

"Show yourself!" You spoke slightly louder and turned in all directions as if hoping to catch any movement.

Nothing. 

You sighed, perhaps you were just a lunatic, and the door had blown open on its own. You turned to walk back to your bed, and just as you took one step, you were interrupted by what nearly made you shit yourself.

"Hello, dear." 

A voice cut through the air next to you, and you screamed on pure instinct.

Well, you would've, if not for the hand shooting out of the darkness to cover your mouth. You swung your wand in the direction of your assailant and were met with a sight completely unexpected. 

Remus Lupin's big brown eyes, illuminated by your wand stared back at you. Or rather, down at you. 

The significantly taller boy was heaving, his ruffled oaky hair falling slightly in his face, which held an expression that suggested you had scared him. The light traced his scars, and his large, cut-covered hand closed around almost the whole bottom half of your face.

You couldn't help but think; how pretty Remus Lupin looked at that moment.

He gulped, a smile tugging at his lips as his expression shifted into one of slight amusement, "Alright love, I'm going to remove my hand now, and you are going to promise me you won't scream at us."

His voice was a soft whisper and reminded you of the rocky seashore you used to visit every summer with your parents when you were little. 

It sent a shiver down your spine, had it always had that effect?

You then reconsidered his wording, Us? Your eyes shifted to his right, and there you were met with an even more surprising sight. 

Sirius Black stood with one hand in his pocket, and the other clenching James Potter's invisibility cloak.

"Of course." You thought.

He stood with an air of relaxation like he always did. His annoyingly beautiful face was drawn in mirth, though far more sheening than Remus'.

His brows were raised, and his eyes regarded your appearance with what could only be described as mischief, as a feathery strand of his rebellious raven hair dipped between his eyes. 

He winked at you after you had seemed to stare for a little too long, causing you to snap out of your bewilderment, and look back to Remus, who remained rooted in the same spot looking at you expectantly. 

You nodded at him, holding his gaze, which seemed far too intense for a boy his age. For whatever reason, he nodded back. 

He removed his hand, and just as he did, you swatted it away and stepped back.

"What in Merlin's name are you both doing here?! You scared the hell out of me!" You whisper-shouted at the pair. The two boys smiled youthfully at you in response.

Sirius finally swaggered forward, and past you, not refraining from brushing against you as he did. He turned and plopped down on your bed, discarding James' cloak next to him.

In his natural air of arrogance, he leaned back on his palms and lolled his head to the side, grinning up at you.

"We thought our girl could use some company, didn't we Moony?" 

Against your better judgment, you rolled your eyes and swayed to look at Remus, who remained smiling down at you. 

Annoyingly, a smile of your own made its way onto your face.

It was no secret that out of the group you, Sirius, and Remus were close in a way that the others weren't.

I mean, of course, the boys, and you and the girls would always be close in your respective ways, but for some reason, you three just seemed to click in a weird, and almost perfect way.

It wasn't like they called any other girl in the friend group "their girl", and it wasn't like you'd go through the animagus process for just anyone. 

Remus bit his tongue, his eyes flickered from Sirius', and back to yours before he nodded once more.

Suddenly, he pulled his wand from his pocket and lit a candle on a bedside table across the room, so that your wand could be lowered and placed gingerly in the pocket of your nightgown.

 As he returned his wand to his pocket all the same, he stepped forward and took both your hands in his own, swinging them back and forth idly, "Yeah, that and we wanted to apologize again for being the reason you're in here in the first place."

"Even though it was James' idea to begin with!" Sirius' voice beckoned from behind you.

Remus shot him a glare over your head before looking back down at you and rolling his eyes, swiping his thumb gently across the back of your hand, "Yes," he droned begrudgingly, "even though." 

You bit your bottom lip while grinning in an attempt to conceal the laughter rising in your throat.

You released one of his hands, still gripping the other as you spun yourself around and face Sirius, who was now sitting cross-legged on the bed. 

You couldn't help the content sigh that escaped your lips as you regarded the look of merriment and genuineness that graced Sirius' face. 

You took turns looking between both boys before saying, "Consider yourselves forgiven, though I have a feeling that wasn't the only thing you came for."

"You'd be right to assume, Lovebug," Remus responded. Another thing, there wasn't a soul on the planet save for Remus and Sirius who called you Lovebug.

It was a title fashioned for your romantic tendencies, and it suited you quite well.

Sirius suddenly hopped to a stand, before taking his wand to poke the sleeping boy's foot ever so slightly, "We are taking you to the astronomy tower, to watch the crescent moon." He said nonchalantly, you scoffed in disbelief. 

"Right now? But Sirius I'm in a bloody nightgown, not to mention barefoot, and all my things-"

You were cut off by Remus, whose arms had suddenly wrapped around your shoulders, "Relax darling, we'll have you back before the sun rises, maybe we'll even take your things and you back to the dorm where you belong." 

You chuffed, "But-"

"As for the nightgown and lack of shoes, we can assure you, love, you look absolutely smashing in it, and have cute enough feet for it not to be too grotesque." Sirius winked.

You sighed and tried to ignore the light blush that settled across your cheeks, drowned out by the darkness.

You groaned petulantly like a child as you struggled to come up with a counterpoint, and leaned into Remus' lankily muscular build.

"C'mon Darling, it's your favorite moon cycle, and we know you must be bored to tears." 

You froze as Remus' smooth voice resonated against the shell of your ear, his breath fanning over you slightly.

It was then you became aware of just how dipped in his scent you were, it completely engulfed you, the smell of pinewood, candle wax, and parchment. 

You cleared your throat, before Sirius interjected once more, "Evidently, by the literary devices she's turned to to cope."

Your eyes widened, as your headshot over to Sirius, who had now grabbed and held the parchment you had forgotten you left on your bed.

His hair created a curtain around his face as he leaned over to read it, still though you could make out the shit-eating grin on his face as he did so. 

"Dear Callum, I know I'm probably the last person you want to hear from at the moment, but I'm sorry I got bored of you-" He read aloud in a high-pitched voice before he broke down into laughter.

You wrenched out of Remus' hold before surging forward and snatching the paper from his hand and shoving him slightly.

"Give me that you oaf!" You hissed lowly.

He snicked and pulled you into a hug, "Oh come now, you know I'm only joking lovely, please don't leave me! I promise never to bore you!" He sang, you elbowed him in rebuttal.

"Alright, fine! FINE! I will go, will you stop it now?!" You snapped, his laughter eventually died down as he hummed and looked down at you.

You craned your neck to meet his gaze, "Ah, knew you'd come around Lovebug, right then off we go!" He announced before spinning you and setting you down on the ground.

You watched as he practically skipped over to Remus, before grabbing the boy by the jaw and pulling him into a simple kiss.

Yet another symbol of your closeness, you were one of the only ones who knew that the two were more than just friends.

Remus hummed before returning the kiss and pulling away.

Sirius leaned into his neck, "Told you she'd come around Moony."

Remus licked his lips and gave you a half-lidded once over, not even he could contain the dim beam that spread across his face. 

"Course she did, she's our girl after all." He mused.

In an instant, the smile dropped from your face.

It was then, for the first time in a long time, you felt something. Like a punch in the gut, one that you knew familiarly, but not to this extent. 

The air in your lungs seemed to leave you all at once, as a cold hotness spread over you.

Your vision began to tunnel, as your ears filled with wind, and you became all too aware of the sweat that coated your palms.

"No," you thought, "no way."

 Your heartbeat quickened, and you desperately hoped that with Remus' advanced senses, he couldn't hear it. 

There was no way this was happening, not to you, not right now.

It was such a simple sentence, one you were sure he and Sirius had uttered to you before, so why did it ignite this feeling in you?

Why, did you have to have such a reaction, and why now? 

You wiped the sweat that sprouted from your palms on your nightgown and could feel some new form on the nape of your neck.

It felt as though the air of comfortability from earlier had evaporated, replaced with a thick blanket of awkwardness and anxiety, at least on your part.

The boys you had leaned into so carelessly before, had now become the two people you wanted to be furthest from.

You knew this feeling, you knew what it was, and normally, you'd welcome it like an old friend. But not this time, not for them. 

Why, did it have to be them?

"(Y/N)" Sirius' question shook you from your state of silent panic. You blinked and swallowed a thick glob of your saliva. 

"Yeah?" Your voice was far less even than it had been a second ago, it wavered and shook much without you meaning it to.

The boys looked at you with confusion drawn over their expressions, "You ready to go?" Remus said as if you were some dimwitted puppy. 

Your eyelids flickered, and you took a deep breath. "Yeah, sorry, I just zoned out, must be the after-effects of the potion." You lied through your teeth. 

They nodded at you, still seeming suspicious of your behavior but not questioning the matter further.

Each boy extended a hand, and you almost let out a shattered sigh as you slowly stepped forward and took each hand in your own.

As you three began walking to the door, and you plastered a smile on your face, you began to hear your voice screaming inside your head.

In an instant, you knew what you had done. 

You'd just gone and fallen in love with two boys you knew you couldn't have.

That exchange had transpired a week ago, and ever since then, you'd been spiraling.

You felt hot tears gather in your eyes as you recounted it redundantly. In your mind, there were layers to how fucked up this was.

You can't like two people at once, that's utterly selfish. You berated yourself, especially since those two people are dating each other, not to mention two boys! Not to mention even more two boys that just so happen to be your best friends!

You groaned as you rubbed your temples, blinking back the tears.

Any logical, normal person would've taken the high road, and just silently waited until this infatuation passed.

But as you were reminded incessantly, you were the furthest from logical, or normal.

The longer you lingered with this knowledge, the more unbearable it became.

Every moment you spent trying not to think about Sirius or Remus, was another moment in which your little crush turned into a full-blown obsession.

At first, you had resigned to pretending as if nothing was amiss, forcing smiles and hoping they couldn't tell. But every day you felt your resolve weakening, and so as of today, you had completely avoided them at all costs.

Then, you just had to let your friends drag you to that stupid quidditch match.

You had managed to sit as far from Remus as possible and tried to push through through the awkwardness, which worked for awhile, and then the world had to go and give you another slap in the face.

After James had caught the snitch, you were dealt the misfortune of locking eyes with Sirius, who, high on excitement as he was, decided to beam at you, and blow you a fucking kiss.

Damn Sirius Black for being the natural flirt he was, and damn his stupidly perfect face.

You knew in hindsight it was just Sirius being Sirius, he was head over heels for Remus.

It's not like he knew how much he made your heart flutter from that simple act alone.

But the side effects of it were damning, and whilst you got by with averting eye contact and keeping to yourself for the walk back to the castle, you refused to risk a much more obvious reaction given the boys pull anything else.

You sighed, again, as you shut your eyes and listened to the last lyric that played from your vinyl.

Et, dès que je l'apercois, alors je sens en moiI, mon coeur qui bat...

You bit the inside of your cottoned mouth, and gulped sending a sting down your dry throat.

Your favorite song was beginning to sound like torture every time you translated its meaning in your head.

Yes, you thought bitterly, I see life through rose-colored glasses, and look where that's got me now.

Finally, you opened your eyes. God, your side of the dorm was a mess, Lily was going to kill you.

Not that it wouldn't be deserved, you shot at yourself.

With all the remaining strength in your body, you pushed yourself off your bed. The needle on your record player had finally reached the center of the vinyl, meaning it was time for you to get up and move it again.

As your feet landed on the cold floor, you winced, rolling your ankles to re-attune your body to movement.

After a moment you stood, not missing the blackness that pinched at your view from your lightheaded state. You began to walk across the room, ignoring the cries that sounded from your locked joints.

Your brain felt fuzzy, and your movements were reduced to emotionless and empty.

You stopped in front of the table on which your record player sat, and lifted a weak, trembling hand to the needle.

And as you picked up, and moved it to the edge, allowing the song to replay once more, you heard the startling sound of the door creaking open.

You didn't bother to look at her, instead, you closed your eyes and inhaled in preparation for what was to come.

"Godrick, (Y/N) the room's a mess, what have you been doing all this time?!"

Lily's maternal croon should've at least offered a morsel of comfort, and yet, all it did was cause more tears to sting the corners of your eyes.

Your ears filled with ocean sounds as Lily began to parade around the room, picking up all your discarded articles of clothing, too lost in her own ramblings to notice the air of gloom that hung over you.

You bit your lip as you shut your eyes tightly, trying desperately to keep any more tears from running freely down your rosy cheeks.

Lily had this way about her, she was too comforting, too emotion-invoking.

You wished she would've just stayed downstairs for one more hour, at least then you would've more had time to collect yourself.

But she didn't, she was here, and she was going to witness you in the state that you were; raw, terrified, and utterly humiliated.

Your mind had turned into a wind tunnel of thoughts and feelings, preventing you from noticing how Lily had halted her movements and slighted her gaze to your now shaking form.

"(Y/N)? Lovie? Are you alright?"

You opened your eyes and looked up at the ceiling for one moment, teeth biting down harder on your trembling lip.

Finally, you turned and met her head-on.

Lily gasped in spite of herself, "Oh, Y/N." she whispered, brows stitched in worry, emerald eyes widening.

Before you could blink, she was on you. Lean arms enclosing your figure, one placed comfortingly behind your head, the other wrapped around your waist.

"Darling, what's happened?" Her soft voice resonated in your ear.

You couldn't bring yourself to respond, burrowing your head in her shoulder, shaking it slightly.

Your arms had returned the embrace tenfold, hands grasping her sweater tightly like she was the only thing in the universe holding you together at that moment.

Before you could stop yourself, soft hiccups began to escape you, and it was then, as Lily pulled away and began to wipe at the wetness under your eyes, you realized, you had to tell her.

You allowed yourself to be guided to her side of the room and sat down on her plush, quilted bed.

Blinking through tears you tried to focus on Lilly's concerned face, as she pushed a stray strand of hair behind your ear, and took your hand.

"Y/N, please, tell me what's the matter." Lily begged quietly as she smoothed her thumb over the back of your hand.

The moonlight from the window above her bed was nearly the only thing that illuminated the space around you, sheening on your variability, and exposing your flaws.

Your eyes flickered as you took a deep breath and attempted to collect your thoughts, and organize them into something, anything, clear enough to be spoken aloud.

"I..." Your voice quietly resonated, coarse and croaky from hours of wailing and weeping. You fought against the tightness in your throat, encouraged by Lily's soft eyes, and comforting presence.

After a moment, you cleared your throat and tried again.

You began with a sigh, focusing on the way Lily smelled of vanilla, allowing her scent to calm your flurrying mind.

"Lily," you said, much quieter this time, "I've done something terrible."

Lily's brows furrowed once more, in confusion this time. "What can you mean?" she replied, ever inquisitive and eager.

You inhaled and exhaled slowly, here it goes.

You gripped her hand like it was your lifeline, "I've..." you paused.

"I've fallen in love again."

Quiet settled over the room, blanketing the two girls.

Lily blinked, face going blank.

Before she could stop herself, a snort escaped from her mouth. Her demeanor of worry was now replaced with one of disbelief and wry amusement.

"You must be joking, seriously (Y/N)? That's all this is about? another silly little fling?" She teased, now finding this entire situation utterly ironic.

You huffed, frustration becoming your face. "No," You interjected, voice strained and tight.

"It's not- God, it's not that I've fallen in love again, it's with who!"

Lily raised a brow, squinting, lip quirking. "Right then," she teased, "Tell me, who is the soul lucky enough to hold your affections?"

You were glaring and lifting yourself off the bed in an instant. Bitterness bitting at your tongue.

"Forget it." You bit.

Lily sighed and grasped your hand before you could get even two steps. "(Y/N)," she groaned in defeat, feeling instant guilt as more tears glided down your chin.

"I'm sorry, that was cruel of me. You can tell me, and I won't make fun of you."

You eyed the redhead suspiciously, "Promise?" You quipped. Lily smiled, "Promise."

You bit the inside of your cheek and returned to your spot on the bed.

You huffed and picked away at some of the skin around your fingernails anxiously. "You really promise not to judge?" you mumbled, looking up at her through your wet lashes.

Lily nodded, "I promise lovie, you can tell me." her smile was the reassurance you needed, but it didn't lessen the ache in your heart.

You shut your eyes, annoyed at the feeling of more tears gushing down your neck.

You covered your face in your palms, before admitting out loud the confession you'd been reckoning with for days.

"I fucked up," you said through tears as you lifted your eyes to meet Lily's, "I've fallen in love with Remus Lupin," you watched Lily's eyes turn into saucers, "And, Sirius fucking Black."

In any other situation, you would've laughed at how Lily's jaw fell open, but this was no laughing matter. Her hand flew to hover above her mouth, and for the first time in all that you've known her, Lily Evans had been rendered speechless.

And you, were growing more anxious by the moment. Tears were now fully cascading down your face, sobs and hiccups wrenching from your throat.

"Say something!" You begged, her silence was making you feel worse by the second.

Lily jumped, broken out of her state of shock. She closed and open her mouth, trying to find the right words, before she so eloquently settled on,

"Merlin's fuck, (Y/N)."

You cried harder if that was even possible.

"I know, I know, it's horrible isn't it?" You whined.

After a week of keeping this all bottled up, it was now all coming crashing down on you.

You felt your heart ripping at the seams, in such a short period of time, these boys had suddenly had the most magnifying attraction you had felt.

You felt so utterly stupid, had you always liked them? Did it just so happen that that fateful night was your moment of realization?

Either way, neither explanation lessened your suffocating distress.

As you let your head fall into your hands, Lily grabbed your shoulders, rubbing them up and down encouragingly.

"Well, I won't lie to you sweetheart, it doesn't look amazing." She winced, resolving to pull your sobbing body to hers, wrapping her arms around you once more.

Lily knew the weight of this situation, because she knew Remus and Sirius, more especially, the relationship the two shared.

"When did you find this out?" She asked softly. 

You sniffed, "A week ago, I think? Oh Merlin, maybe I've always known but was never ready to admit it to myself." 

Lily sighed thoughtfully, before replying. "Well, do you want to tell them?" 

You thought for a moment, before shaking your head in defeat.

"It's no use Lils, even in my wildest dreams, they're out of my reach. I can't have them, and the fact that I even want them makes me feel like the biggest arsehole in the world."

Lily stayed quiet as you continued your rant, allowing you to verbalize all the feelings that had been festering in your heart. 

"Godrick, they're so perfect for each other, it's almost unreal. You've seen them together, they look as if they were made for each other. Not only that, but they fought so hard for the right to be together. And who the hell am I to come in here and even consider ruining that? I must be the most selfish girl in the world." 

You felt your heart break a little more with each word, but you couldn't stop yourself, you had to let these thoughts surface. 

"They trusted me," you sobbed, "every deep, grimy secret that they had no obligation to share, they trusted me enough to tell. All they've ever wanted from me was a friend, someone to be their home, and now I've gone and ruined it."

"You don't know that-" Lily tried, but you interrupted before she could even finish the sentence.

"Yes, I do! You know how I get Lily, even about simple crushes they become all I can think about. I will not be able to stop thinking about them, and every single time they feel comfortable enough to be affectionate in front of me, I'll break all over again."

Finally, you paused and took a deep breath.

"There is absolutely no situation in which this can turn out alright for me."

Lily felt her heartache for you as she assessed the sheer pain in your voice.

However, this situation was difficult, because she had to consider Remus and Sirius' well-being too.

She tapped a finger on the bare skin of your arm. "You know what I think?" She finally said.

You lifted your head and met her calculating eyes with your own. "What?" you asked pathetically. 

Lily rotated her jaw, "I think, that this situation is much bigger than you or I, so before we go making blind assumptions, we need to let Remus and Sirius speak for themselves."

She paused, "(Y/N), I know you're scared, but you have to tell them."

You inhaled deeply, eyes flickering with fear.

You were scared, terrified actually. But, the more you thought about it, the more you realized what you had known all this time.

Lily was right, they needed to know. 

You couldn't just disappear from their lives without giving them a floor to speak their peace, it wasn't right.

Doing that, you decided, would truly be the cruelest thing you could possibly do.

You huffed, before blinking away the last of your tears and taking a moment to wipe the mess off your face.

Lily sat and watched you as you began to collect yourself, leaning on her own arm for support. 

After a moment, when you felt as though you were moderately put together, you shook your hands out and breathed deeply for that last time.

You looked to Lily, there were still a million questions you wished could be answered, but for tonight, as you checked the clock and saw it was coming up on 1:00 A.M., you settled for just one.

"Do you think they realize I've been avoiding them?" You cringed.

Lily opened her mouth to reply, but before she could, a sharp knock sounded at the door.

"(Y/N) (L/N), you open this door right now, or so help me Merlin, I will blow it down!" Sirius' muffled yell sounded from the other side of the aged wood.

Then, Remus chimed in. "You know he'll do it love, so there's no use in fighting."

You froze, and for a moment as Lily's expression turned into that of a deer in headlights, you thought maybe the whole universe froze with you.

Your blood ran cold as they continued raving about their usual nonsense, and as you saw the door handle rattle, you and Lily finally spoke in unison.

"Oh, fuck."

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

RECYCLING /REPURPOSING

I've been sitting for days on the recycling concept of these 2 mirroring scenes this fucking SOB Storer planted there in plain sight for us.

I hated the Carmy scene soooooo much that I was blocked. So I postponed analyzing it all together. Till today.

I couldn't believe Storer fucked up soooooooo much.

CARMY'S VERSION:

Carmy sounds completely OC, who wrote this?!?!?!

He's talking nonsense. As if the entire S2 never existed, as if his realization during the panic attack never happened, and as if all the things we all know he feels for Syd were never there, as if Braciole never happened either, is a complete OVERWRITTING OF THE CHARACTER! He sounded as if a whole new team of rookie writers came in and wrote this P.O.S. scene on their first day on the job and then Storer signed off on it and shot it, with the money I pay HULUUUUUUUUUUUUU every month!

I figured: "It has to be on purpose! This can't be THIS BAD, it has to be good like deep deep down, and I'm fucking missing it."

Well... turns out I was missing the PURPOSE. Or the re-purposing, I should say.

Carmy, with the help of the other 2 clowns that were absolutely unnecessary but had a point bc let's face it, he shoulda sent a SO SORRY text as soon as he got out of the walk-in and he didn't do it not only bc he's an avoidant asshole and didn't get Syd's clearance that put his priorities in order, which he took as the perfect excuse to AVOID taking responsibility, was trying to re-purpose Claire, but here's the catch→ HE FAILED. He gave up on her.

Eventually, we saw all of that giving up on her altogether attitude in a more apparent way, yet still quite symbolical, too symbolical if you ask me, in the freezer in 03x09, he took his time, he doubted, and to me, that was a huge statement so I dedicated that moment alone several posts already:

Syd's version:

Syd, on the other hand, all by herself, like the independent G woman she is, is in the dumpster:

Also recycling the fucking cardboard boxes that those 2 clowns SHOULD HAVE TAKEN CARE OF as if she had any fucking free time to on top of EVERYTHING SHE ALREADY DOES AT THE RESTAURANT and had to also recycle because the fucking Faks fucked up and failed to do their fucking job! Completely different energy than the "boys talk" the 3 other idiots had in the dumpster while calling the MPDG "peace"/piece of ass.

So she is in the middle of trying and failing (that’s why she didn’t sign the agreement that day either even though Nat urged her to) to recycle her whole purpose of being there, working at The Bear, because it's obviously not turning out to be what she expected or wanted, she's masking the disappointment she really feels with anger and frustration because the partner she trusted last season in, to make sure this didn't blow up in her face like last time, should be RECYCLED ASAP:

So Syd is in the process of losing and having to recycle her purpose to stick around, which is obviously what the Jocker's offer triggered in her but was simmering under the surface since even way before he tried to poach her.

She's in the middle of a purpose crisis too, but totally different than Carmy's.

Parallels:

His crisis has to do with his feelings for a girl he can't make himself love and has decided to leave behind, knowing where that may take him down the line → UNSTUCK FROM HER MUD WITH ALL THE IMPLICATIONS THAT HAS IN REGARDS TO OTHER FEELINGS HE DOESNT WANNA FEEL, which I went over HERE.

Syd's repurposing crisis has to do with: CARMY and whether or not she's gonna keep on giving him more chances, whether or not she should stick by his side, because this, as it is, is just not working for her. But that doesn't mean she thinks Shapiro will work. It means she wishes her disappointment didn't exist, not that she wants to continue taking chances on chefs and risking getting burned AGAIN. That's her crisis. That's why she's losing purpose now, this is her current DUMPSTER CRISIS. The only piece of ass she's thinking about is Carmy’s and she has to re-purpose their entire relationship, which the Joker/trickster Shapiro brought up to the forefront of her mind in that ep. The same ep where we learned about Legerdemain

It's all about:

Or more like... lack thereof.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[chronicsyd]

Soooooo I just watched the trailer for S2 and uhhhh-ahhh ah-ha… (lemme just... share my thoughts real quick):

Vi is outright calling Jinx, “Jinx”. She Definitely thinks Powder is beyond saving at this point (I knew it was coming, but it’s still sad to see at the same time) and she says “my sister is gone” so yea, she Fully believes this herself. And I think that’s the stick that broke the camel’s back for Vi to be sticking around topside.

I hope to God Ambessa doesn’t mean the Entire council is dead… (but with absences of Viktor and Jayce in this trailer isn’t getting my hopes up) maybe she just means that there’s So little people that there’s nothing the council can Actually do anymore, and so everything is just in chaos. (Also yea, my predictions of Cassandra being dead were spot on… so good job me)

Honestly, I was expecting Ambessa to have a more “antagonistic” (not outright Villain, but she’s certainly not making things better if that makes sense) role this season, Clearly she stuck around for a reason. I also kinda think she’s addressing either Caitlyn or Jayce (should he happen to Be alive) with the words she’s saying here. (my thoughts are leaning more towards Caitlyn because she says, “You will have Justice” and I think that’s what’s Caitlyn’s looking for. and if Mel happens to die in that council room, she also feels the loss that would bring as well as Caitlyn.)

Well… I wanted “Unhinged Caitlyn” and I CERTIANLY got it…

SO… I was Wrong about S2 being the last season, yea I’m a little upset about it. And I’m now worried about certain characters meeting their demise (oh God I hope that Vi isn’t the one that kills Jinx if it happens… I don’t think I’ll EVER be able to recover from that)  

Ekko’s still alive yay! (no shit sherlock…) (I’m honestly expecting more between him and Jinx this season) (also Heimerdinger's there... but i expected that as he is no longer a councilor)

Warick showing up, of course…

Noxus and Enforcers will be working together here… oh dear…

One of the clips Clearly show’s Caitlyn wearing the old enforcer uniform (you can tell by the color of the collar thing she’s wearing, and the sides of the collar don’t stick up around her neck in the newer uniform) so that happens early on in the season

Vi seeing the death and devastation that Jinx has caused to the council and topside is what I think shook her in that direction to believe that Jinx is beyond saving. And it Hurts for her to admit it, you can clearly hear it in her voice.

Jinx says to Vi first thing, “Finally got the name right… sister.” (she probably tries to go after Jinx in the first part of the season, still believing that Powder’s there. But has to learn that there’s only Jinx. And Jinx is the one that needs to be stopped) and there's SO much venom in her voice when she says it too, like damn...

Now I think there’s MORE to the face Vi’s pulling in that last teaser we got with her than “just being an Enforcer” “not happy being an Enforcer” all that fun jazz.

I have No idea who’s under that cloak… they’ve done a good job hiding their face

of course Sevika's still around, wasn't expecting anything less. but there's clearly no "top dog" to take Silco's place. everyone in Zaun is just fighting for their own thing and not under one specific person if that makes Any sense.

I don't recognize who Sevika sees to be fighting in that clip (does anyone know who it is? or is it just someone we haven't met yet)

Netflix is still calling this a "teaser" so i believe that we have to have at least One full trailer that's probably being given to us in a few months before S2 arrives

Vi's wearing Claggor's goggles I'm gonna CRY

(I’m most definitely probably going to add things and have “sudden realizations” so be on the lookout for that… ha-ha)

[eternal-sacrifice]

Been thinking about winners.... Then I thought too hard... Here's my thoughts on.. all of them,,,,

• IF bdubs won next season: he has earned it. It would be great seeing as last season was a 3rd life throwback and sort of a redemption, if the next season was his most difficult we could go full heros journey with this bitch and the win would be incredibly satisfying.

9/10 didn't realize I wanted him to win but, I'm rooting for him now! Convinced me

• If bigB won next season: please let him win. I need him to win. He hasn't gotten a single ounce of attention from the fandom in any of his 4 amazing story arcs, and maybe just maybe they would care about him if he won. With new members joining he could have a fresh start (again), maybe with a win he could pull ahead all on his own, just like he started 2 years ago.

1000/10 I NEEED IT

• if Cleo won next season: hggfhhfjg. Hfhfhgfgg... Divorce quartet real... The animations... The fanart..... It would be so cool. I don't think Cleos character has much motivation to win atm, but if she was forced into a position where she needed to take the win it could be a very refreshing twist on the story.

7/10 we love to see a king winning

• if etho won next season: hey sorry ethogirls I don't know him well enough- all I know is that the fans would become crazy and I'd become an ethogirl. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk

• if gem won next season: okay, gem win would be awesome, yeah. Doesn't matter if everyone loves her, doesn't matter if everyone hates her, I just need her to be the main character, be confused, be crazy, die. It would hurt her character so deeply and would be genuinely amazing for her lore.

8/10 this would be sick

• if grian won next season: let's try that again baby! He might have won the first time with kindness, trust, loyalty and true friendship- but it can't be like that anymore can it. Everyone's left him, everyone's moved on, his life is falling apart, and for once he's barely stopping it. He's just trying to understand what's going on. He ends up in a similar situation to s1, and can't take it- he snaps, kills the other players, and wins once more, making everyone go crazy and the fandom die from shock immediately.

4/10 hmmmm

• if impulse won next season: HES BEEN SOOOOOO CLOSE FOR THE PAST 4 SEASONS. GIVE IT TO HIM PLEASE. only if he weasels his way in though, I love it when he's a lying little cheat and a freaky lil traitor. He needs everyone in his life to leave him or trust him completely and I will die on that hill.

7/10 hehehehe impman

• if Jimmy won next season: ughhhhhhh. Okay. So. Canary boy. He has never experienced pain before in his entire life. For those reasons 1. I'd love for him to win so he can finally understand the series he's in 2. I'd hate for him to win because nooo he broke the curse :((

Canary/10

• if Joel won next season: SBDBDJSKXBJDBXKSDBJDHSHAHDH THAT WOULD BE SO GOOOOOOOD WAIT WAIT WAIT I HADN'T EVEN CONSIDERED- so he's been alone the past 4 seasons, yeah. Even during double life with his loving husband, he knew he would end up alone again in the end, so it was all for nothing in his eyes. He gave his full trust and loyalty to his boys, something he's not used to, and if next season he's alone again- he can't take it. He goes about it smarter then last life, though- he keeps to himself, makes himself stronger the whole season, builds companionship with people (they're not used to him being so friendly), and wins with a last minute betrayal or simply being the last man standing. He would barely expect it, but it would heal his character so much, and also break him.

9/10 WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!you better do this right asshole. Just kidding however he wins will be perfect

• if Lizzie won next season: similar to gem, but with more spite, and more guarenteed loneliness. It would be- really hard for her to take another season. All of her allyships would be strained, and I can totally see her joining or even commanding another big group, but she'd be alone in reality. A win for her would be cruel.

5/10 queen please

• if martyn won next season: illegal

• If mumbo won next season: I'd go crazy. Mumbos got so many satisfying ways to take his character, and the FANART and god lhbevfuebejrkje. Hes only been there once. He never learned how to play the game. If he won this time- hendndjdjbthekdndkelkebek 500/10 I need it

• if pearl won next season: as much as I would love for her to win again, 1. Too soon, she hasn't recovered from the first one please 2. The fandom would hate her for it 3. She already got what she needed from her first win. It'd be unnecessary for her character arc. It's very unlikely anyways, I'm sure if she got in that situation again, which might happen, she'd give it to whoever else is there.

3/10 I'm sorry goddess

• if Ren won next season: PLEASEEEEEE BE KIND TO HIMMMMMM honestly I think they would just give him the win. He's gonna get in a nice group, they're gonna have loyalty to him and he's gonna have loyalty to them, and wherever it goes he's gonna end up in the endgame again. Everyone there will understand that he deserves that win. If they don't martyn will kill em all into understanding lol. Maybe we could get a desert duo "you can kill me" moment but martyn refuses and kills himself. That would be so cool of him actually

7/10 my doggo deserves love but not like this

• if scar won next season: :3c

He need to okay. He needs to. I don't care how it happens I don't care when it happens I just need him to murder grian and get the win. I need him to understand that HE DESERVES TO WIN. he's gone through so much and he still doesn't understand his self worth, but if he kills that stupid bitch and calls upon old allies to help him get to the end- it could be so lovely oh my god

10/10 my brother in Christ

• if Scott won next season: this would kill him he would leave

0/0 I'm scared

• if skizz won next season: okay his story thus far wasn't amazing, oh wait it was. ACTUALLY HIS LIMITED LIFE WAS THE ONLY GOOD LIMITED STORY(completely untrue but listen IT WAS FULL, THERE WAS A WHOLE CHARACTER ARC even if it was good person to better person, HE IS SO TALENTED AND CHARISMATIC IF HE TEAMED UP WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE NEXT SEASON I COULD TOTALLY SEE IT BEING AMAZING. HE DESERVES IT. AND HIS WIN WOULD BE AWESOME.

9/10 he's pretty give me a break

• if tango wins next season: okay while all of his seasons other then last life have been boring it could be fun. I mean okay, double life wasn't boring. And I can't say anything about 3rd life. Sure, jeez, he can win. Just need him to get mad and kill some guys first ^_^

5/10 go for it guy

Sorry I advance to everyone I angered deeply with this post, I don't know all the characters perfectly. I can't wait to see this age like fine wine with the next season, honestly whoever wins I'll be crazy about no matter what. I'd love to hear anyone else's thoughts on this!

[bushkit]

Soooooo for this MiD rewrite, I might have replaced Ava-

Now I have my reasons for doing so, which I will explain now. First off, I don't like Ava, I find her really obnoxious and frustrating. I know we will only have one season so she can’t develop, and that upsets me a bit. I also find her “anxiety” issues stereotypical, coming from someone who has been diagnosed. Some of her behaviors are relatable, but there's only a few times that I feel like I can relate to her. It feels cheap and forced to me. This is a smaller complaint, but I also don't like her design. She’s just Aphmau but with magenta eyes and a bitchy personality.

The second reason I changed the Mc is because of a massive issue I have with MiD in general. Harems. I fucking despise harems in any shape or form. I think they are one of the absolute worst tropes in media. In most harems the main character is boring, usually they have no personality whatsoever. Luckily MiD doesn't really have this problem, Ava’s personality makes it at least watchable. However, the other much more glaring issue I have with harems are the other characters. They are almost always one dimensional and cliche, and unfortunately MiD does have this problem, especially with the daemos and some other side characters as well (ex: Jake, Lorelai’s friends, Avas parents). I find Harems unhealthy and boring, as it almost always ends with the Mc choosing all potential lovers, or none of them. Its just extremely frustrating to watch. For this rewrite, I need to change the harem into something else, and the best way I can find doing it is to replace Ava. Now I am a huge, huge fan of the “found family” trope, it is far more meaningful and interesting to me. Of course as with all things it can be done badly but I find myself enjoying most shows that use it.

So lets talk about Jaiden! :D

Name: Jaiden Woods Species: Human Pronouns: She/her

Theme song: I made an entire playlist cause I couldn't pick, but I'd say World’s Smallest Violin (Ajr) and Could’ve Been Me (The Struts) are perfect for Season One.

Background: Jaiden is a thirteen year old human girl from a wealthy family in Portland, Oregon. She was originally born in San Francisco, California, but when she was very young her family moved to Portland. Because her parents are wealthy/of nobility, she's used to having a lot of things, knowing a lot of people, and sadly, knowing what its like to be lonely. Her parents run a business, so they don't make much time for her and are often out of the house. So at a young age, Jaiden had to learn how to take care of herself. In what would be season one of this rewrite, her parents have left on a business trip that will last a couple months. So Jaiden needs to find ways to entertain herself and keep her spirits high. But with no siblings and hardly any true friends, its getting more and more difficult.

Jaiden doesn't understand why its so hard for her to make connections with people. She likes to think she's the nicest person ever, she's optimistic, energetic, willing to try new things, and always willing to help others. But the people she's surrounded with aren't normal people who have emotions like she does. They're all grown adults that are all wealthy and stupidly snobby and boring. The school she attends isn't much better. Nobody wants to talk about Anime, animals, videogames, pop culture, or anything Jaiden finds fun. So she finds herself a weird outcast, and outcasts are targets for bullies.

She’s constantly being picked on by bratty rich girls at school and in her neighborhood for her interests and behavior. They are making sure Jaiden understands that bubbly, excitable, and loud people are not welcome in their town. Jaiden tries her best to ignore them and not take it seriously, but over time those words begin to take a toll on her emotionally. Jaiden no longer enjoys learning at school, she's always anxious awaiting for someone to call her a freak again. For most classes, she's picked on even by teachers. Except for her P.E class, more specifically, Track. Jaiden can run very fast, and is even titled with being the fastest kid in her school.

Her excellence in her Track lessons are one of the few things her family and others praise her on. But it isn't all she wants to be. Jaiden truly doesn't want to have a career in Track, or inherit her family’s wealth and business. She just wants to be her own person, and help as many people as she can. This is even why with the money her parents give her, she uses a bit of it to donate to charities. She loves the feeling of being helpful and making people happy, so that is what she devotes her life to doing. Now, if only she had people to help. Jaiden is very lonely, all she wishes is to have people who are not boring “npc” snobs to hang out with. She manages to make some online friends, but they aren't quite enough to fill the hole in her sociable soul.

Until a couple days after her parents left for their business trip, she spotted five cosplayers in her backyard.

Fun fact: Jaiden was originally going to be a Mystreet oc, but I decided to make her a MiD oc because I fell out of the Mystreet fandom. I also think she fits a little better in MiD, especially with the story I've given her.

Y'all will be seeing a lot more about her and her relationship with the Daemos in the future! Bye pookiesss! :D

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

pt III the wedding dress: crowley's shirt's ruffles (the brainrot is in terminal stages only palliative care is possible now)

OKAY. I'M SORRY FOR NOT POSTING FOR A WHILE BUT I AM HERE MAGGOTS (WHILE YOU'RE ALL BEING SO FUCKING LOVELY AND AMAZING ON THE COLLEGE POST WHICH TERRIFIES ME).

The last update was the shirt (everything related to aziracrow wedding brainrot is on my blog with the tag weirdly the nightingales wed) and I talked so long about the shirt and the Regency influences and the Jane Austen part that I realised I'd need a separate post for the ruffles. So. Here we are.

THE RUFFLES OVERVIEW: I spent too much time on this, but let's go. The ruffles were taken from that 1805-10 Regency evening gown that inspired the entire neckline, and they're the same material, muslin. They're overlaid with Alencon lace, the reason for which shall be stated below. I stopped the ruffles at the edge of the square neckline rather than going around the neck because given how the coat will be buttoned, it's not necessary and would just add bulk. For the same reason the ruffles would be sewn down at the edge with a French seam (it won't add lines to the silhouette or bulk, a maggot recommended that stitch) to prevent it from getting displaced.

THE LACE OVERVIEW: Oh, the fucking lace. Okay. So, this part of the dress was supposed to represent Shakespeare's time, the Edwardian era, from the Shakespeare/Hamlet scene in the season 1 episode 3 cold open. So I wanted to choose a lace that was popular in England at that time. I looked up the types of laces and their history, and found that Alencon lace best suited my purposes. It is the most popular lace for wedding dresses now. The lace would have motifs of birds (nightingales), leaves (Crowley's plants), angel wings (self-explanatory) and flowers (traditional for this lace).

THE NICE AND ACCURATE HISTORY: Ah, textile trade in the Edwardian era, exactly how I thought I'd be using my brainpower in the year of our Lord and Saviour Bildaddy 2024. Okay, the reason I chose Alencon lace was that during the end of the 16th century (which was around the time when Hamlet was written, 1599-1601, a direct reference to the episode), French lace was most popular in England. There were other popular lace imports, from Belgium, italy etc, as well as lace made in Devon (which wasn't as popular), but Queen Elizabeth had maintained ties with the French court and used lace on her gowns and that's how lace became fashionable. So I picked French lace.

Now the other types of French lace, Chantily lace and Argentan lace, weren't invented at the time Hamlet was written, so I was left with Alencon. The wedding thing was a bonus, honestly. Alencon lace originated in France in the 16th century, was called "Queen of Lace" and was a luxury. I do believe Aziraphale of the infamous I have standards would approve.

Soooooo. There you have it. The detailed real history behind the real lace on the ruffles of a fictional character's fictional dress for their fictional wedding that's not canon.

*contemplates life choices* Well, this isn't the very worst choice I've made, at least.

...that honour would belong to the cufflinks. Next update.

[localguy2]

...

Soooooo... DR Lloyd.

Yeah, he has fucked up badly in S2, Visions and Teacher wise

Let's talk. (S1 and S2 spoilers)

Right, DR Lloyd is genuinely so interesting, and mainly because he fails at SO MANY of his personal goals, ironically, in an attempt to achieve those goals, because he has the right mindset.

But he makes the wrong decisions...

First of all, I wanna bring up his Visions:

So we already know that there's been an ENTIRE year between Season 1 and Season 2 of Dragons Rising, so really quite a while.

And according to Lloyd himself, he's been having these visions since after the Imperium Source Dragon thing when they saved the world again.

So... Seriously, why didn't he just tell the others?

From a pure logic perspective this sorta doesn't make any sense, this isn't Wildbrain Era or Crystalized Lloyd, this is a whole new him, most accepted theory for the Merge is that it's been 5 years since it happened (6 by the time of S2), and we still don't know how much it's been since pre-merge and Crystalized.

Lloyd's obviously had time to heal and get in a better mental state, his behaviour switch from Crystalized to Dragons Rising is enough evidence of that not to mention overall Demeanor.

He doesn't have his Seasons 11-13 trust issues, or his Crystalized anger issues, so... What gives?

Now granted, some people might see that this is a bit insensitive or inconsiderate towards Lloyd, but given how much he's been through, how much he's grown and how much he should trust the ninja (which he VERY MUCH DOES BY THE WAY, Ep3 of DR Season 2 with his little chat with Nya, and the countless times she's comforted him during the Season), it calls into question as to why he didn't tell the ninja about his visions...

And like, I'm sorry but at this point this seems like extremely overlooked potential, Zane???

Like, there's literally a guy on your team who's had visions, terrible ones at that, before, why not go talk to him about it??

I'm just, really confused specifically by this aspect...

And another aspect, this being his Teaching:

Forgive me if I start insulting Lloyd but WHAT. IS. HE. DOING?????

1 YEAR SINCE SEASON 1, AND YOU HAVEN'T TAUGHT SORA OR ARIN PROPER SPINJITZU??? HELLO?

I am not holding back with this one, because this just seems like a massive oversight on his side that, depending on you view it, seriously fucked over the team majorly...

And you know why I find it so inexcusable?

1 Word: Wyldfyre.

The glow she's had when it comes to her fighting skills is actually insane, if you've watched the last 2 Episodes of Season 2 you'd KNOW how well she fought against the Wolf Clan, and Wyldfyre is not really even Lloyd's thing, she's more Kai's thing.

Granted, Kai's not taught her Spinjitzu, and he should be given shit for that as well, but when you compare her to Sora?

Yeah it sorta falls apart...

Sora didn't even know how to jump up high enough while preforming the moves for Spinjitzu, meanwhile Wyldfyre is fresh off of her injury and she's moving crazy quickly around every enemy.

That and... Arin.

Lloyd has no excuse for Arin, straight up.

Arin's got the motivation and drive to learn new skills, he's the same kid that managed to solo learn a weird form of Spinjitzu, with self taught ninja moves PURELY from watching his heros fighting.

So why, in the bloody hell, did Lloyd double down on his unique Spinjitzu, that he hasn't been able to get better at for the last year despite extensive training, instead of at the VERY LEAST teaching him Spinjitzu basics?

Again, 1st Fang ninja statue is designated to those who need to learn Spinjitzu first, and it's criminal that ARIN out of ALL people, had to be PUT in it.

And I have to say, all that considered + Lloyd's constant attempts at reassuring Arin like the kid missed up, and the times he told him to be patient, it really puts a bad taste in my mouth for Lloyd.

Lloyd you are not helping, Arin's been more then patient, and he's not gotten better any single bit at his Unique Spinjitzu or fighting Skills, this is a you problem and you don't even realise it.

You're trying too hard to be like Wu, when in S1 you should've at least gotten a small hint you don't have to be like him, like not even full acknowledgement, just a hint!

This might seem a bit rambly and emotion fuelled so I'm sorry for that, but DR Lloyd frustrates me with his decisions, don't get me wrong I still like him, the show emphasises the importance of Mental Health a lot of times through him, by Representing panic attacks and his extreme anxiety using him, and that's awesome!

What isn't very awesome however, is all the aforementioned problems with his character (that I find at least).

[buck-up-buck]

Soooooo I didn’t do this last season but I decided to do a bingo card for everything I think/would like to happen in season 8- let’s talk about it shall we.

Let's talk about the obvious- the one thing I think the fandom all collectively wants. Mr Diaz to come out of the goddamn closet. Now, Gay Eddie makes so much sense, but also, so does Demisexual Eddie. I feel like, especially with his relationship with Shannon, him coming out as Demi would make so much sense.

I would respectfully like the writers to leave Henren alone this season. Give them a win, give them Mara back, let Hen beat the shit out of Ortiz, and then leave them ALONE. I want no drama for my moms this season please and thank you.

Now saying that (don't hate me) I think Hen is due a major injury... I am just saying, if someone is gonna be hurt this season, it being Hen would make sense.

RIGHT, give me a BuckTommy argument, give me some BuckTommy angst, and then, have them make-up. We have seen so much growth for Buck these past few seasons, let's see him resolve a problem in his relationship by communicating. And then, have them make out afterwards. Please.

I feel like we are so overdue a Halloween episode. We have a full season this time around so I want them to make full use of it. Saying that, let me also bring in the fact that I do also want a Christmas/Thanksgiving episode as well. Give me family bonding with the 118. Another Christmas Party, Bathena using their new place to host Thanksgiving, something, anything.

I know we all want it but, GET GERRARD FIRED. I don't want him to be injured, I don't want him to die, I don't want them to skip over the arc they ended with entirely. I want someone to get dirt on him, and take it to the chief, and for his ass to be dragged out of that firehouse.

I don't know where this sudden obsession with seeing Sal again has come from, but I would love a Sal redemption arc, or even for him to be a little bitch for Gerrard and also get dragged through the mud. Just, Sal.

SHALL WE INJURE OUR FAVOURITE HOT PILOT. I am not saying a major injury, but something, a little sprinkle of worried!Buck. Let's see him panic over his boyfriend.

I know I will hate it if It actually happens, but a mid-season cliffhanger. I think, we need something to keep us on our toes while they break. GIve me "missing groom" but more drama.

I have been asking for this since season 3 but GIVE ME A MADDIE BEGINS EPISODE. I want to see baby Maddie meeting Doug for the first time, I want to see them moving to Boston, and then moving back. The first time he hit her and his pussy ass apology. The day she escapes, and her journey to Buck. I BEG.

Bring Chris home please. Just, give Eddie his son back. PLEASE.

I want a Bathena cracking a case wide open and going full blown detective. I want to see Bobby with a murder board and Athena being so done with her husband but so in love. Give me treassure hunt vibes, but just, Bathena solving murder.

RIGHT- HERE ME OUT (this will get a separate post here). I want a Buddie begins episode. I want, realisations, and then, flashbacks galore. I want snippets of Buddie during Bucks recovery after the bombing, different POV's of things that have happened throughout the seasons, Buck sleeping on Eddie's floor the night he got home after the snipper. I want- I want so much.

Saying that, I also want, another Buddie argument. I want an argument over Buck and Tommy, or over Chris, or over work, just, give me, some Buddie beef. And then another hug when they make up. (or a kiss lol)

HOW ABOUT WE GIVE OUR OG GAY BOY A BOYFRIEND. Give Josh some loving.

BuckTommy having a dinner date with Bathena and/or Madney. URG, yes please. Cute vibes all the way.

Right, so when Madney got married, I so wanted the fact that Jee had a baby-girl balloon to foreshadow another baby. I know they were in a hospital and improvising, but OMG that would be such good foreshadowing. I want Maddie freaking out because what if she messes up again, I want Chimney doing the same, thinking he is going to lose Maddie, and then I what them to talk about it. I want Maddie to witness all the firsts she missed with Jee. I want another Madney baby. Or give them a dog. That will appease me.

Dosed is probably one of my favourite episodes ever, so if we could get another episode on par with dosed and jinxed, I would love.

Let’s get Mr Diaz in therapy shall we. I want to see Franks reaction to all the shit he did in S7.

I mean, I wish for this every season just because I love whumping my favourite Buckley so bad, but how about wr injure Buck again. Give me worried!Tommy/worried!Eddie/Dad!Bobby.

It would be such a missed opportunity if someone doesn’t get stung by a bee. I am just saying.

I am soooo obsessed with Christopher already suspecting that Eddie is gay, or at least having feelings for Buck. Like, I want him to come out and Chris be all like “thanks for telling me but I know dad” (insert teen eye roll).

I WANT BUCKLEY PARENT BEEF. Their redemption arc is so over and done with, especially after their reaction to Tommy, so I want drama.

Yuuup, I think that pretty much covers it. Let me know your thoughts, and if you made it all the way through this, I love you, have a cookie.

[twiceland]

oh my gosh okay first of all happyyyy wednesday (it is wednesday in my timezone hehe) to everyone !!! today i hit 1k followers after having this blog since october 2022, and i feel ever so grateful for all of you, mutuals or not, for supporting me throughout this wild ride <//3 i'm currently in exam season (i'm crying inside) so i haven't been very active this year but i am still so happy and excited and ahhhh!!!!!! this means so much to me and honestly i can't even believe that we're here in this moment but wahshjdfhgjshd thank you all soooooo much <3 to celebrate, i decided to write mini email looking notes for some of my mutuals! please don’t be offended if i didn’t write an email for you; if you would like an email and we are mutuals please send me an ask and i will 100% write you one!!!!

to: miru ( @rosiesared ) subject: my fav yunjin stan

MIRUUUUU <3 i still cannot believe we’ve been friends for almost two years. you are genuinely one of the kindest people i know and one of the most genuine ones i know. you’re always there when i just wanna talk and ramble and we ramble together and i adore you for that 🥹 i remember us meeting and me being intimidated as fuck by you but u are the sweetest and have the most amazing personality 💖💖💖💖 i’m so proud of you always I LOVE U TO BITSSSSS

to: isai ( @solojihyo : @yosang ) subject: jihyo’s wife ( real !!! )

MY CLUMSY BLOB <3 hi my love!!! you are someone i love and hold so dearly to my heart <3 you’re someone i can talk to at my happiest and my worst, and you help me become a better version of myself. you’re so sweet and lovely and such a genuinely wonderful person and i appreciate you being in my life these past couple of years. i adore you!! love you sooooooo much my fav horanghae lover (btw i walked into a pole again yesterday. i didnt hurt myself dw) (also thank u for convincing me to download the cracked ps from the link you sent in the server) (i lov u)

to: michaela ( @mandu : @thefeelz ) subject: jennie’s loml

when you followed me i was so sure i was in a fever dream. i’m pretty sure i blinked at my screen like 200 times. ANYWAYS you are literally ,,,,, i think the only way to say this is so fucking cool . although we don’t talk a lot, seeing u on the dash is always a sure way to make me smile <3 i love youuuuu

to: zay ( @jeonwonwoo : @kimsdahyun ) subject: jeonghan’s bff

HI MY MOST BELOVED ZAY !!! over the last couple of months we’ve gotten sm closer and i just love hearing ab u talk about our fav sebongs and ps stuff && everything you’re passionate about. you’re genuinely one of the most fun and funny people i know and i adore you so much <3 love u love u love u jeonghans wife 💖💖💖💖 MY MOST AESTHETIC PRETTIEST QUEEN !!!!!

to: dana ( @lesseraive ) subject: chaewon = loml = the only girl ever

dana!!!! i still cannot believe its only been … a little more than a year? since we became mutuals 😭 you’re the best. i love shittalking w you, talking about our girls (jangchae) and how izone deserved and deserves better (we miss u izone) (u are forever) (never izgone) . you’re like an older sister to me and i feel like i can talk to you about anything. thank you for being here and being my friend, i love youuuu <3 jeonghyeon p01

to: elv ( @seokmins ) subject: seokmin’s pizza girl !

elvvvvv <3 tbh we’ve talked to about this before but i think the most funny part of our friendship is me not remembering how we met HSKFBSJSK i know that we were both mutuals in laws through isai but honestly it feels like we’ve been mutuals for like ….. ever. you are so sweet and lively it feels like we are just two sunshines together in a field of sunflowers whenever we talk 😭 you make me smile whenever you come up on the dash and you deserve all of the love in the entire world <3 sending my squishiest hugs your way! 💗

to: mini ( @venompinks ) subject: #1 blackpink lover

MINI MINI MINI !!!! hi beloved <3 tbh ive always seen u as like an older sibling to me. you have rhsi comforting vibe that just emulates love & support and i adore that. i love seeing ur creations && support towards ur favs (esp the pinks hehe) and ur so so so lovely!!!! sending u all the squishiest hugs in the whole wide WORLD !!!!!

to: theo ( @lovebitxx ) subject: chaer’s #1 <3

THEO THEO THEO THEO !!!!! i remember you following me during your lixblr era and feeling so :OOO bc that was pre gg blog and i was like wowowow bc all of your creations are so pretty 😭😭😭 im so happy we’ve gotten closer and u always make me smile and just seeing u on my dash and talking to u makes me so happyyyyy!! you’re so passionate about your favs and its always so nice to see you get excited about them ): i love youuuu so much 💗

to: daisy ( @svmit ) subject: juhyeon’s bf ( REAL ! )

MY DAISYYYYY i love you!!!! getting to know you have been soso fun and im so glad to know you 🥹🥹🥹 you’re genuinely so sweet and adorable and i want to squeeze u into the tightest hug 🫂 my fav lightsum && ptg stan 4ever!!!!! 💞💞💞

to: shreya ( @fawad-khan : @kiimtaehyung ) subject: tae’s wife & hyunjin’s gf 🎀🎀🎀

my most beloved shreya!!!!! hi akka i love u to the moon and back and beyond 💞💞💞💞 its kinda crazy to think a year ago we barely knew each other and now we’ve both celebrated our birthdays and waaaaaa it feels insane. i feel like. you’re genuinely someone i see as my older sister and i want to hug you so bad and. YEAAAA the momo to my sana i love youu <3 also thanks for teaching me that andrew garfield is a real person 😁 mwah

to: theo ( @toplines ) subject: best jeongyeon stan!!!!

HI MY LOVELIEST THEO!!!!! I ADORE U HEHE thank u for being one of the silliest most funny most genuine people in my life u are quite literally the kuromi to my melody, the jeongyeon to my sana and i lov u lots!!!!! u are the best ever and u deserve all the love and moreeee 💞💞💞💞 hehe ALSO U ARE THEEEE GFX ICON OF ALL TIME

to: lau ( @saerom : @127s ) subject: saerom’s biggest fan (real)

HI LAUUUUU hehe i know we havent been close for that long (i think we met in userps i dont even remember if im being honest) but you’ve always been someone i look up to. you have this ability to like. stay calm and handle difficult situations with ease and are so funny and fun to talk to!!!! ilu a lot and u are genuinely the sweetest ever <3333 also u are THEEEE URL QUEEN !!!!! never forget !!!!! hugs !!!! 💞💞💞💞💞

to: hales ( @3rachaas ) subject: changbins wife confirmed!!!

HALES HALES HALES HI !!! u are the funniest person ever actually genuinely seriously 100%ly (how many more adverbs can shri use,, more at ten) u are my east coast bestie and i love playimg games with u even if u win every single time 😓😓😓 ILY SOOO MUCH i wish i could hug u sososoososososo bad <////3 mwah!!!! also u are my fav 3racha stan 4ever (edit i hate tumblr ANYWAYS i miss our uno game nights can we have one again) (also hales edit era we miss u) (ilyilyilyilyily)

to: lee ( @komca ) subject: komcanation ‼️ mark’s wife

hi mother 😁😁 u are my favorite mark stan 😁😁 i lov u 😁😁 no in actuality i love u sm lee u are one of the most understanding kindest most funniest most amazing person ever u just. deserve all the love in the world!!!!! i love ur markisms and ur love for rnb and just how passionate u are about ur hobbies and interests!!!! adore u to the moon and back I LOVE U SMMMM HEHE MY ILICHIL LOVER IN CRIMEEEE 💜💜💜

to: naina ( @tutontawan ) subject: sakura’s wife 💞

sunshine wifey! HI MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER the hello kitty to my melo, kkura to my eunchae, gaeul to my wonyo, i adore u sooooo much u are quite literally my twin in every aspect and i love uuuuuu!!!!!! u are just the most sunshiney person to ever sunshine and never fail to make me smile and happyyyy I LOVE UUUUU MY FAV i cant wait to meet u one day <3

to: ace ( @ajusnice ) subject: my maknaez in crime <3

ACE ACE ACE ACE ACE ACE HELLO HI my fav gose watching partner hehe <3 no but actually its kinda bizarre how we havent been friends for a year but it feels so much. longer idk 😓😓 thank u for being sososoaoao supportive u always make me laugh and whether its u berating me over using light mode or screaming over junshua its never a boring day when we talk 🥹 im glad to have u as my friend and ILYSM!!!!!! 💞💞💞💞💞

i hope all of you had the happiest new years and hope that 2024 is our best years yet!!! love all of you sooooo much and thank you once again ♡♡♡♡♡

[cordelia-street]

omg jheel you watched the third season of panchayat? thoughts thoughts please

oh my god i have soooooo many thoughts

prahlad 'cha. dude i loved his character arc this season sm. the way he was absolutely broken and that entire scene with amma where he shows her how living alone in an empty house really looks like. ugh i sobbed. and when he you know laughed at the vidhayak kabootar wala thing i felt amazing like okay character journey and also when prahlad 'cha and neena gupta go to the dm in i episode 1 (?) and he says 'apne samay se pehle koi nahi jaayega' or something like that my heart truly broke

love how at the beginning of this show abhishek wanted nothing to do with phulera or its people and in episode 3 he has like every single update about phulera

vikas<3 literally the guy ever, i adore the relationship between him and prahlad 'cha sm

sachiv ji and rinky are so cute together, and the awkward energy the radiate is just hilarious

bhushan really tested my patience this season but like i'm so used to him at thid point, the moment where abhishek slaps him was just *chef's kiss*

also in the last episode when abhishek calls vikas to make sure they're alright and vikas is just lying through his teeth and abhishek says 'iss baar ghabraana nahi hain' and vikas's voice cracks 'bilkul nahi ghabrayenge' holy shit when i tell you i was terrified

phulera ka damaad to phulera ka beta journey was pretty satisfying ngl

please share your thoughts my brain is literally just incoherent nonsense rn

[queermania]

Same anon, I also wanted to add that bodily autonomy IS inherently a Sam issue because there are so many instances in the text that has to do with something out of Sam's control. Being Lucifer's true vessel (which yes, Dean was Michael's and he didn't have control over that either, but that's not portrayed as much in the text because they WANTED the viewers to see Sam's struggle with his "destiny" because Lucifer is Lucifer, but it would have been nice to see Dean being Michael's vessel affect him more.) The demon blood was a violation, obviously. John violated both of his children's autonomy by trying to turn them into mindless soldiers. That's why it showed Sam get away, because it was showing a small portion of his life when he gained that autonomy back, only for Azazel and Lucifer to control his life again by killing Jess so that they could manipulate him into leaving the life he made for himself free of control. (Not to mention they controlled more than just Jessica's death. His best friend was a demon, his prom date was a demon, his teacher was a demon, etc etc. His whole life was meticulously planned out in a way that Dean's wasn't.) Then the Special Children stuff, then Ruby comes along, and as I explained before, violates his autonomy. That's why FINALLY in the season 5 finale, which as a reminder was supposed to be the end of the show, it portrayed him getting his autonomy back by taking control of his body!! It doesn't get any clearer than that!! His first words of the series are "Do I have to?" and his last are "You're going to have to make me!" This is his whole story arc of the first 5 seasons, regaining his autonomy and it was done so well. But then the next seasons go back to violating them again when he comes back soulless and his soulless self does a bunch of things to violate it, like sleeping with people and doing certain things Sam would never do. Then the whole Gadreel thing. (Which I wasn't as mad that Dean tricked Sam into bringing him back to life, but moreso that he manipulated him for months and Sam had a whole ANGEL living inside of him and Sam was losing time. THAT is violating his bodily autonomy on multiple levels.) Sure there are instances where other characters get their autonomy violated but none more than Sam's whose entire arc of the first 5 seasons involved it.

first of all, the show didn't only last for five seasons. it lasted for fifteen and everything that happened after season five is still canon. and my entire point was that just because the show sometimes frames it like sam has his autonomy violated more often, doesn't mean it actually happens that way.

being lucifer's true vessel is not a violation of sam's autonomy anymore than any other person being a potential vessel for an angel is. but even if you take that stance, you've already highlighted exactly why that's not specific to sam anyway. dean is also a true vessel, ergo...

i've already agreed the demon blood when he was a baby was a violation of his autonomy.

but again with john.. you've explicitly brought up an example of something that applies to both sam and dean. so once again, not specific to sam.

and if getting away was a restoration of his autonomy and dean didn't get away then i guess we can assume dean was having his autonomy violated while sam wasn't. soooooo... now it's specific to dean and not sam.

demons possessing other people is not a violation of sam's autonomy wtf. it's a violation of those people's autonomy. it's a fucked up thing that happened to sam, yeah, but it has nothing to do with his autonomy.

sam's last line of the series was "dean" because, again, the show went beyond the first five seasons and when i'm talking about the show, i'm talking about the entire thing.

sam's actions when he was soulless are not him violating his own autonomy??? literally WHAT?? but even if you want to use that completely unhinged logic, then that means at the very least that jack's actions when he was soulless were a violation of his autonomy, which again means it's not specific to sam.

i'm not arguing that gadreel possessing sam was a violation of his autonomy.

but again... just because the show made it a recurring theme doesn't mean it actually happened to sam with any more frequency than it did to dean (or cas).

[douwatahima]

Oooookay. So I finished my seventh watch through of season 2 yesterday and I finally feel equipped to give my personal ranking of all 18 OFMD episodes. No one asked for this but here it is lol. Also I gave them all a score out of ten and tiered them all by said score because I'm very normal. LET'S GO.

6/10 - These Are Kinda Meh

18. 1x02: A Damned Man - To me, this is the most forgettable episode of the whole show. I mean, it's not awful or anything (it's still OFMD), but I have literally nothing to say about it. It's just kinda there.

17. 2x06: Calypso's Birthday - There's things in this episode I like (everything with Ned Lowe is good imo), but the whole party sequence, which takes up about half the episode, feels so empty to me. At first it didn't bother me that much, but then Samba revealed what the original plan was and knowing that at one point this episode had a plot has made the incredible lack of one we got soooo much more noticeable.

16. 1x03: The Gentleman Pirate - Introduction of Spanish Jackie, Magic Man, Ed and Stede meeting for the first time, there's definitely good stuff here. However, it gets sooooooooo much better than this.

7/10 - Good and Fun, Just Not My Fave

15. 2x07: Man on Fire - There is so much in this episode I like. Ed and Stede having breakfast in bed makes me feel insane. Stede and Zheng fighting ruled so hard. FRENCHIE SCHEMEING WITH THE CREW!!! The biggest thing is that there's so much in this episode that nothing really gets room to breathe. With like…five more minutes this episode could've been peak.

14. 1x06: The Art of Fuckery - This falls under the category of "episodes that are good, but there are others I like way more". The bathtub scene is of course peak, but in a season with some really incredible stuff this episode doesn't particularly stick out to me.

13. 2x04: Fun and Games - Same as the previous episode. I love the whole "Seabird" sequence, Ed and Stede's little heart to heart, and of course Anne and Mary's everything, but there are so many more episodes I love way more.

8/10 - I'm Incredibly Fond of These

12. 1x07: This is Happening - Fun fact I originally had this in the last category but then I remembered the co-captains scene and I knew I had to bump it up lmao. There's soooo much peak OFMD in here. The snake scene! Lucius calling Ed out!!! The previously mentioned co-captains scene!!!!! The only reason this isn't higher is because around my…fifteenth rewatch I found myself kinda getting bored with the Jim's nana subplot (sorry Jim).

11. 1x01: Pilot - OHHHHH I AM SO FOND OF THE PILOT. There's definitely some clunkiness in this episode imo (it is the first one after all), but the feeling I get when I boot up this episode is unparalleled. Frenchie starts singing and my heart soars. Also the entire "High on a Rocky Ledge" sequence is beautiful even all these months later.

10. 1x08: We Gull Way Back - 90% of my love for this episode is that I find Will Arnett very funny. This episode also gave us "The Chain" sequence including the foot touch heard around the world. ALSO ROOM PEOPLE!!! I love this one.

09. 2x01: Impossible Birds - The biggest fault of this episode is that it premiered alongside two of the best episodes of OFMD ever and this one slightly pales in comparison. That being said, it's a very strong season opener. Also, I am personally obsessed with the "Strawberry Letter 23" sequence. AND THE CAKE TOPPERS I CAN'T BELIEVE I ALMOST FORGOT THE CAKE TOPPERS!!!!!

08. 1x04: Discomfort in a Married State - I AM SOOOOOO FOND OF THIS ONE. The way the first half of the episode parallels Ed/Izzy and Stede/Mary only to spend the second half juxtaposing those two relationships against Ed/Stede? Masterful. The way Ed and Stede's relationship develops so naturally? Beautiful. THE LIGHTHOUSE SCENE? INCREDIBLE. WHAT AN EPISODE!

9/10 - I'm Genuinely Mad These Didn't Make Top 5

07. 2x05: The Curse of the Seafaring Life - The way this episode had me giggling and kicking my feet in real life after I first saw it. There's nothing not to like here. Ed and Fang fishing, Lucius and Pete getting engaged, THE SUIT…all incredible. Not to mention we got "you wear fine things well" version 2.0 with the best kiss in the whole show!

06. 1x05: The Best Revenge is Dressing Well - I love everything about this one. Ed and Stede at the fancy party, Lucius kicking Izzy's ass with the power of polyamory, Frenchie and Olu scamming racists…when I think of quintessential OFMD, this is the episode I think of. And of course the original version of "you wear fine things well" lives within my very soul.

10/10 - I Feel Mentally Ill About These Ones

05. 2x02: Red Flags - To start off, I really liked getting Lucius back and his whole subplot with Stede was really really great. Now that that point's out of the way HOLY SHIT EVERYTHING WITH ED IN THIS EPISODE WHAT THE FUCK. THE SCENE BETWEEN ED AND IZZY IS LITERALLY GOD TIER. ED PAINTED THE BRIDE TO LOOK LIKE HIMSELF AND I STILL HAVEN'T RECOVERED. "RUN FROM ME"? LIKE...IN GENERAL??? CRAZY. AND THEN ED SAYING "FINALLY" WHEN HE GETS THE CREW TO KILL HIM? INSANE. THEY WERE INSANE FOR THIS.

04. 1x09: Act of Grace - I mean, listen. I've talked about this a lot but it bears repeating. Staying up until 2am to watch this episode when it premiered and seeing Ed and Stede ACTUALLY KISS changed me as a person. I am different because I experienced that. Not to mention the rest of this episode is peak. Ed calling for the act of grace, the crew voting Olu as captain, the entire "Perfect Day" sequence, just incredible all around.

03. 2x08: Mermen - God this show can do a good finale. I will never stop being bowled over by how much I love this one. The "Moscow" scene? Sexy as hell. Ed and Stede reuniting and Ed telling Stede he loves him? I've watched it three thousand times. THE LETTER? THEY WROTE THEIR NAMES ON EACH OTHER IN PERMANENT INK!!! Also, even though it's highly controversial to say, I thought Izzy's death scene was very very good. Not to mention the entire last few minutes set to "The Times They Are A-Changin'" makes me feel so incredibly soft. I love OFMD soooooo much.

02. 2x03: The Innkeeper - Listen. If this whole episode sucked but it still included the mermaid scene I would still have it this high. That being said, this whole episode is sooooo incredibly good. The opening sequence with Zheng manipulating the rival captain is so well done. Ed in the gravy basket is crazy from beginning to end. Stede plotting to get the crew to safety is peak Stede and I love it. And somehow, after all of that, the episode also ends with one of the most incredible sequences I have ever seen. Watching a man who thought he was fundamentally unlovable get brought back to life because of how much he's loved while "This Woman's Work" plays in the background will follow me forever. Just…some of the most beautiful shit ever put to film.

1000/10 - THE GOAT NO OTHER NEED APPLY

01. 1x10: Wherever You Go, There You Are - I AM SO SERIOUS WHEN I SAY THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE EPISODES OF TELEVISION OF ALL TIME. The way Ed and Stede's plots through this episode are juxtaposed against each other makes me feel feral. The way that Stede is so out of place and closed off from his family while Ed is actively healing and bonding with the crew ONLY FOR THESE TWO PLOTS TO FLIP WHEN THEY EACH TALK TO THE PERSON WHO REPRESENTED A NONFUNCTIONING RELATIONSHIP TO THEM ALL THE WAY BACK IN EPISODE FOUR! THE WAY MARY AND STEDE GETTING TO TALK AND BE HONEST AND LET EACH OTHER GO ALLOWS STEDE TO FINALLY GROW AND BE HAPPY WHILE IZZY HANGING ON TO THAT TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH ALL OF HIS MIGHT AND NOT LETTING ED GROW AND CHANGE WITHOUT HIM FORCES ED BACK INTO THE PITS OF DESPAIR!!! The entire "Avalanche" sequence breaks my heart in the absolute best way and seeing Ed do all this terrible shit with no more spark left in his usually super expressive eyes hurts so good! And then, of course, there's my favourite part of all. Seeing Stede, a man who has been so lost and unmoored, row out into the ocean looking more settled than we've ever seen him while Mary says he's now free and that freedom coming completely from Stede realizing he's in love with another man is something that feels so personally assuring to me I can't even fully express it. The entire "Miles from Nowhere" sequence is incredible to me (and to this day that song is thee OFMD needle drop in my opinion) but that part especially is my favourite thing this show has ever given me hands down. Thank you David Jenkins for my life.

[megaawkwardhuman]

OK hi hey hello I know these photos have been out for a bit but uh I'm really bored rn and I haven't looked too deep into minor shit in a bit sooooo

let's dissect some promo images shall we?

(pulling these images from this post btw)

I have nothing to really say about this image (it's most likely nandor defending guillermo's idea of going to the mall)

I just want all of us to take a moment to appreciate this photo

1 DEREK'S FACE XD

2 memo in this photo <3

and 3 this is like five seconds before the turning gets fucked sideways

I'm assuming guillermo is talking about how he didn't expect this is how he's going to get turned, how this is a new chapter in his life, he'll try to make the change he wants to see and/or how from that point on word he'll be a new guillermo de la cruz (basically what he said at the beginning of season 4)

AND THE LASZERMO SHIPPERS GO CRAZY

I AM HERE for this fucking photo

now we all know this is five seconds before they aggressively make out and laszlo is making sure nobody especially nandor else sees this is probably the moment guillermo tells laszlo about his current situation

HOWEVER what I'd like to point out is the fact that this convo doesn't happen until the second episode (you can tell it's the second episode due to the outfits)

also I would like to also point out the fact that if the whole baby colin shit didn't happen laszlo wouldn't be helping guillermo out not just because baby colin brought them closer but laszlo is probably gonna use helping guillermo out to distract and cope with the loss of baby colin

he's been helping colin out for the last two seasons and now that he doesn't need his help and he doesn't really remember and entire season of him and the gang helping him he misses the feeling of helping out someone who is helpless to their circumstances

aND GUESS WHAT GUILLERMO IS

so yeah weirds ass coping mechanism laz but I'm here for it

my gut at first said this was derek warning guillermo about being a vampire BUT THEN I REALIZED GUILLERMO IS WEARING A DIFFERENT OUTFIT

soooooo what is probably happening is guillermo talking to derek about this whole thing going all fucky wucky

or this is after the turning and guillermo just changed into a different shirt since the other one got bloody idfk

and finally why tf did they go to a steak house??????

overall OJDQIW0UHOGJDVGHIWPGFJEVKBDWLHKSDJBLWHFBKVHIQOJ WE'RE GETTING SO CLOSE TO SEASON 5 OMFGGGGGGGGGGG

[cellsshapedlikestars]

Don’t worry about answering this is you don’t want to. I know you don’t like fandom wank. But, if you feel like it, do you think someone could make those endpoints work? Bran as king and Jon at the Wall even though there’s a big old hole in it and Dany deliberately burning King’s Landing before Jon or Arya kills her, is that an ending any writer, no matter their skill, could sell to the hardcore fans? I don’t think the fandom would accept it even if GRRM wrote it.

lololol I deleted my post already anon, so for those of you who didn't read it - I was once again whining about how d&d fucked up the last bunch of seasons and every character. it's not a new take, just something I was high thinking in the shower, so I deleted it bc it wasn't productive.

But I'll answer this, because I think it's interesting.

In short - no.

(Beneath the cut for a longer explanation and just a whole bunch of my ranty thoughts. pls remember I am no asoiaf scholar and I haven't studied every aspect of the books or read every meta. These are just my opinions.)

Longer - at this point, too much time has gone by, there is literally no way George can please... probably even half of his fanbase, no matter what he does. From what I can tell, the fandom too divided and there's so much hatred between stan groups (which I do find ridiculous, but it is what it is). People have cemented their own ending in their heads after decades of the fandom existing without an official ending, and I can see a lot of them not liking that they're wrong. Some people have spent 30 years with their theories, it's sunk cost fallacy. Case in point, the show ending being written off as fanfiction by a lot of fans.

which, tangent, I get. I GET why d stans don't believe the ending, because it was so poorly executed. I truly do understand their denial, because the show gaslit the audience for soooooo long that she was the girlboss hero and then seemed to do a 180 at the end. What was that post I just reblogged the other day? I don't hate villains, I hate when the narrative tries to convince you the bad person is actually good.

now, you asked if anyone could make those endpoints work, but I don't actually think most of them are the real endpoints? I think they were D&D giving up and not trying, or going for Shock Value™. But for fun, I'm gonna go by endpoints I think are most to least likely, and my thoughts on how they could happen and how D&D fucked them up.

Bran as king: Confirmed by grrm. How he'll make this work, I have no idea. I genuinely didn't see it coming tbh. I thought the "bittersweet" ending would be Jon being forced to take the crown in KL. like it's a good ending for everyone else, but for him it's misery. I'm sure grrm has his plans, and I'd be interested to see how he pulls it off. This end point does not disappoint me and I'm not mad at being wrong, but I can see a HUGE swath of people HATING it. specifically D stans.

D&D blew this hard. They cut Bran out of an entire season, making him seem to the audience like a lesser character and not important. They made him a robot. Why am I rooting for show!Bran? Also, I will never, ever get over that line - who has a better story than Bran the Broken? I don't know Tyrion, literally everyone else?? JON DIED AND CAME BACK TO LIFE. ahem.

(as far as I'm aware, Bran as king is the only ending grrm has confirmed?? correct me if I'm wrong.)

D as the big bad: I guess grrm hasn't officially confirmed this, but... he's sort of confirmed it, riiiiight? He compared dragons to nuclear weapons. The show has her as the villain (poorly executed or not). When I gave hotd a shot, literally the opening lines were about the Targs bringing themselves down immediately after name dropping her. Seems pretty solid to me. D&D just refused to commit to her villain arc because they didn't want to alienate their audience that they'd gaslit into thinking she was the hero, and they were seemingly obsessed with Shock Value™ twists.

Dany burning KL: I think the burning of KL is going to happen, and it seems like Dany is the only one to really do it? Unclear how it will happen, I'm sure people have theories. What the show didn't have was Aegon, so who knows how he'll factor in.

Arya sailing west: I think there's a lot of foreshadowing for it. It fits her nature. I think this is very likely to happen and I guess D&D handled it ok. They did ruin her character, though, by making her a literal mass murderer. But yayyyyyy feminism I guess.

Theon sacrificing himself for Bran: Theon's was the only arc I think the show did well. They ruined it at the end by having Theon literally throw himself onto the Night King's sword, which was so fucking stupid, but the arc itself is poignant and fits his character. While he can't ever redeem himself to Robb, he can redeem himself to Robb's siblings, and considering he once pretended to kill Bran, I think this is solid.

Cersei and Jaime dying together: this was my theory even before the show ending, and I think it fits their characters. They cannot live without each other, no matter if they hate each other. They're too deeply entwined in each other. Now, I personally wanted Cersei to be taken captive and put in the black cells to be publicly burned later, and then Jaime shows up and mercy kills her and then himself bc he can't live without her.

But I guess getting bonked on the head by some avoidable rocks is also a way to do it

Sansa as QitN: I'll be honest and say I hated this ending because she ended up alone. Sansa, who has wanted nothing more than family and safety since book 1, ends up completely alone. Even Brienne, her sworn shield, leaves her. but she's a queen, so yayyyy feminism I guess.

I can see her as queen, but I can also see her ending up as queen regent for Rickon, because I'm not totally convinced Rickon dies? like in the show he just randomly shows up and gets captured by Ramsay and it just feels like that isn't his arc in the books. Maybe I'm wrong. But I could see D&D having the endpoint of Sansa as regent, but they killed Rickon off already for Shock Value™, and so they went oops! and made her queen.

Now, there is a part of me that thinks she will not be queen or queen regent, because how does one break off and declare independence from their own brother? Feels like that would destabilize his rule and not give people much faith in him. It just seems really strange to me, but I guess it could happen, since Northern Independence is such a huge theme and it would be weird if it didn't happen?? Does Bran just let her secede? And it doesn't make Dorne or the Iron Islands try.... That's the part in the show that literally did not make sense to me. Sansa was like bye, I'm taking the north, and no one else spoke up about that.

I'd be totally fine with her as queen (if she has someone!!) but I can see a gooooood chunk of the fandom absolutely hating this. surprise.

Brienne as Kingsguard: while I like it for narrative purposes, because she deserves it, I just can't see her leaving Sansa, if she becomes as close to Sansa as she does on the show? If Sansa is queen, I could see her as Sansa's Queensguard. But what does she have in KL? The south didn't ever respect her, why would she want to go back. I think D&D put this in so they could have the ending shot of her writing in the book about Jaime for the shippers

Jon at the Wall: the only reason he went to the Wall in the show was because Grey Worm demanded it? And then left. So. You know, real enforceable. So stupid. Genuinely the worst writing of all the endings, I think, the logic made zero sense there. Now, that could be because they'd written themselves into a corner, but knew Jon ended up at the Wall, and had to force it?

But to me, it's like - what was the point of his resurrection, then? In the show, he doesn't even kill the Night King (we'll get to that). He kills D, sure, but... He's also the reason she succeeds in Westeros to begin with. So what, he gets resurrected, causes havoc, fixes the havoc he caused, and then is sent away to a Wall that serves no purpose anymore? WHAT PURPOSE DOES THE WALL SERVE. The Others are defeated, there's a big ol' hole in it, and they've allied with the Free Folk to an extent. How does the Watch continue on?

I guess he could self-banish. I know the show sort of makes the implication that he goes off with the Free Folk, but in the books, he doesn't really like FF culture? He's appalled by a lot of the violence in it. I can't see him wanting to live that way.

Brai.me: don't get me wrong, I like Brai.me. I think it's cute, in fanon. In canon, I think Brienne is too good for him. I don't see their relationship going romantic or sexual. I think Brienne is who Jaime desperately wants to be (but Cersei is who he keeps being pulled back to). Them having sex was 100% for the shippers

Jo/ner.ys: I'm putting all the punctuation in that. don't need them finding me somehow. Anyway. I don't think this happens, at least not as a true romance. They're on opposite continents and there's not a ton of time left, but more than that - and I know I've said this before - I can't see Jon "hates seeing people burned alive" Snow falling in love with D "loves to burn people alive" T. Could it be a political thing? Maybe, but I also could see her having an alliance with Aegon.

I think there's 2 possible reasons for this being in the show and presented as an actual romance. 1) it was supposed to be that pol!Jon theory, but they chickened out (same with jonsa & a love triangle, I think they chickened out bc of the incest. I think now with hotd being incest central and fans loving it, they wouldn't balk anymore). 2) just the spectacle of it? people have been theorizing this for years, why not give it to them? see above, brai.me

Tyrion as Hand: bleh. I know the fandom loves him and he was clearly D&D's fave, but grrm has said Tyrion is the most morally gray character, and I can't see him letting Tyrion get everything he's always wanted, you know? People think asoiaf is grimdark, but I can't imagine grrm punishing Jon with banishment while giving Tyrion a cushy position with lots of power.

I've read the theory that Tyrion ends up at the Wall, which I like thematically, but again, WHAT PURPOSE DOES THE WALL SERVE. Is it just a penal colony at that point?? someone smarter than me, tell me.

Grey Worm & Missandei condoning/encouraging D: hated it. Take the only characters of color to have speaking lines (i'm 99% sure) in the last season and turn them vengeful and murderous (especially grey worm). Throw their characters under the bus to absolve D of blame

Arya killing the Night King: no. he doesn't exist in the books, first, and even in the show it made zero narrative sense. It was just a Shock Value™ twist. You thought it was gonna be hero Jon, hmmmmmm? WRONG. I've said it on here before, but my hope is that it's Sam that brings down the Others in the book somehow.

.

Did I forget anything, anon? This probably veered wildly from the point of the ask, but oh well, it was fun. (I had a jonsa section in here at first, but then I remembered this is show canon ending stuff and that was not canon sorry fellow jonsas. I obvioulsy want it to be the ending bc the shipper brainrot is real, buuuuuut...)

[ourladyofmaplemurder]

Soooooo.....Penelope grows Jimson Weed in the greenhouse. I don't know how I missed that one before, but I did.

So, for those of you who don't know, Jimson Weed is another name for Datura.

Datura is like, a hellish delieriant. It causes hallucinations that seem real. It's like being in a living nightmare seeing entire people and having entire experiences that are absolutely not happening. Oh man.

So, my theory is that Cheryl's most vivid hallucinations are caused by the ingestion of Datura via Penelope.

Receipts below the cut. <3

Do I think she has hallucinations without this? Possibly, we'll get to that.

Do I think Penelope would do this? Absolutely and frankly, I think it would be more shocking if she didn't.

Penelope benefits greatly from impairing, discrediting, and destroying Cheryl.

I think she does it as a punishment, for practical reasons (in S2 especially), and because it's her thing. Penelope loves to poison people. It's her favorite.

So, let's talk about Cheryl's hallucinations.

The very first thing we need to establish here is that Cheryl hallucinates.

Here's her first major hallucination.

This occurs in S1. Ep. 5 - Chapter Five: Heart of Darkness. Cheryl is not dreaming here. She is fully awake watching her mother and grandmother put flowers on Jason's grave.

Her second major hallucination occurs in S1. Ep. 13 - Chapter Thirteen: The Sweet Hereafter. Once again, she is not dreaming. This is a full-on hallucination.

Her last major hallucination is in S5. Ep. 11 - Chapter Eighty-Seven: Strange Bedfellows. Once again, she is awake here.

Now, what are the similarities between these three hallucinations? Well, first of all, they're all of Jason. So, you could easily choose to interpret these as a supernatural bond she has with him or even as a metaphor for her grief.

However, there's another similarity. Penelope is directly involved with these hallucinations. She's in 2/3 of the scenes and for the Sweetwater River incident, she was definitely a catalyst.

You'll notice I didn't mention Cheryl's "talks with Jason" either at the Farm or in her house. The reason being is that we never actually see or hear the hallucinations. We only know from context and her talking about it. Therefore, we cannot determine their nature. (Not only that, but it is highly likely that the ones she has at the farm are created/exacerbated by maple mushrooms administered by Edgar.)

Now, what we can determine is that Cheryl's hallucinations likely go beyond the solid examples listed above.

She talks of having a "frightful daymare" in Season 2 and then mentions having a "horrible phantasmagoria" in season 4. In both instances, she mistakes reality for a dream, which tells us she's not always sure whether she is dreaming or awake.

Additionally, when at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy, Cheryl assumes that Toni calling out to her is a hallucination. She reacts to the sound of Toni's voice, but immediately recovers and starts to cry harder. This implies that her first instinct is to assume that she cannot trust what she hears.

Now, these three things together imply that Cheryl has hallucinated before with enough regularity to expect it. She has a familiarity with the experience of hallucinating.

Now, let's talk about the times Cheryl does not seem to hallucinate at all.

Namely, season 3, part of season 5, and season 6. (Not counting season 7 here. That's an au.)

In season 3, I think it's too much of a risk to poison Cheryl. Those pesky seizures could mean bloodwork and Penelope wouldn't risk it. Not to mention the fact that Toni is always hanging around. Penelope has far less opportunity (not to mention bigger fish to fry).

The SoQM Conversion Therapy moment: Stress and hallucinations go hand in hand. She doesn't seem to hallucinate while she's there. Could she possibly be on anti-psychotics? Maybe, but those take time to work. More time than she spends there.

Season 5 Prior to Penelope's Return & S6: No Penelope.

Now let's address the why of it all. Why poison Cheryl with Datura? Honestly, I think it's as simple as sadism.

-This is a private game. It's primarily to fuck with Cheryl & manipulate her. Unfortunately, it only seems to trigger episodes with Jason. So, I'm sure Penelope is disappointed with that.

-This goes hand in hand with my theory on Penelope drugging Nana as well. Her dementia seems to "get better" when Penelope is not there.

-Also, that's not how psychotic symptoms work . They get worse with stress and that is not the case for Cheryl.

Now, the last thing I'll say on this is that I think multiple things can be true. Cheryl can be psychotic and Penelope can be drugging her AND it could be supernatural. Why not? This is Riverdale.

[variousqueerthings]

Vincent And The Doctor! an episode that is both bad and good! but the good outweighs the bad, because Vincent is just so good!

but there is in fact an alien in this story as well, sooo...

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 7/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored): 6/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 6/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 6/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 4/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 9/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 8/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 8/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 7/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 8/10

FULL RATING: 69/100 (if I can count….)

this episode we watch Matt Smith as a British man very seriously say "Vincent van Goffff" over and over again, but Bill Nighy did it right so that's good

and Amy screams a lot and doesn't remember the past

OBJECTIFICATION: Amy is not wearing a miniskirt! yay! she is wearing short shorts under a long jacket and scarf, so idk. not shorts-weather I guess, but at least she can run in this (although she doesn't do much running on the whole this episode)

PLOT-POINT: Soooooo I rated this one quite high, which I think is a bit generous of me, but the thing is that in this episode the reason that Amy isn't exploring what happened to her last episode is because she doesn't remember it happening!

and the Doctor is trying very hard to protect her from those feelings. but Vincent recognises them. there's a bit of "the body remembers" happening here, and so I think this is acceptable. Especially the bit where the Doctor says "Amy- Rory" out of habit and she asks "who?"

I also like that she's excited to see more Van Gogh paintings and is someone who fails to consider how mental health can have good days and bad days. Prompting this quote of all time:

"the good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant. and we definitely added to his pile of good things."

COMPLEXITY: the plot is kind of two things, one of which is obviously stronger (Vincent) than the other (the Krafayis). they never quite come together, or specifically the latter is underdeveloped. I guess it has that speech at the end where Vincent is saying that it lashed out because it was afraid, like people do (the people who are terrible to him for being different), but I'm not sure that's what it should be about. especially when they discover that the Krafayis is blind, which happens right before it's killed. the Krafayis is disabled, like Vincent is

it's kind of a messed up story. right before it dies it goes "I am afraid." They just killed this being, which was abandoned for being disabled. that is the failing side of the episode

However simply as a story about Vincent van Gogh it's pretty lovely, and what it's remembered for. I don't agree with the bit where he talks about being left utterly alone and that framing, because historically he had people who cared for him, and he wasn't anti-doctors either, but I understand why it works for some of what's being said -- Amy and the Doctor are there, and Vincent is still suffering from serious mental health issues and feels alone in that

So in that sense the complexity works -- complexity of emotion

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: the underlying thing here is how Vincent recognises Amy's pain as someone who is also in pain, and Amy of course has no idea what he's on about

overall though it's meant to be -- and works as -- a standalone and doesn't need to be more than that. also as a character Thing, the Doctor's hyperactivity and of it all is a fun detail

COMPANIONS MATTER: Amy doesn't do much outside of her chat with Vincent, which isn't bad. She's ostensibly the emotional anchor to the Doctor's doing stuff. however, am noticing that this scores consistently a bit lower on most episodes and whether I should be getting harsher about it, because at this point Amy is apparently super With It, she knows time travel, she's confident, etc. So why is she still mostly just hanging around?

I do wish she had more... opinions on things. they lie there and see the night sky and she says nothing. the script struggles to make her anchoring Vincent have much to do with herself, or to tie it into the plot. Why is she not the person who suggests taking Vincent to the present, for example?

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: the Doctor is there to admire Vincent van Gogh, as is right and good!

I do think it's bold that the Doctor is so bad at relating to Vincent's issues though, considering the Doctor is the posterboy for mental health issues

I kind of wish the Doctor had been more able in this episode, specifically with the Krafayis. he's so helpless until the end and then it dies, it seems kind of odd for him

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: Hartnell and Troughton visuals! Nothing special in it, but again, it's a standalone

"SEXINESS": we almost don't have this, and it's frankly because the actor for Van Gogh is so good that he doesn't make it seem creepy that Vincent is just hitting on her from moment one. there's also some quite dorky flirting (Richard Curtis style) which is much more charming

INTERNAL WORLD: I guess this is fine. Again, some of the characterisation of what was happening around Van Gogh is shifted to suit the episode, and I don't think it needed to be, but it's suitable for purpose. also the casting is so good!

POLITICS: so the bad is as mentioned above, the alien portrayal, when we discover it's abandoned and disabled

On the flipside the things about Vincent's mental health, and how that's presented on the whole, famously, is considered pretty good

it's not about "fixing" him, or about mental illness as necessary for the sake of good art, or about covering up the fact that he committed suicide, it's simply presenting him as a man

and of course the famous scene at the end -- what if someone who wasn't convinced that they were any good or much worth in their lifetime got to experience how they were remembered? not everything is about legacy of course, but in this case it works precisely because it doesn't work as a "fixer," but it does provide some solace

so in the end it's really about moments of solace

FULL RATING: 69/100 (if I can count….)

I actually thought this story would rate higher, but where it lets us down is in everything around the admittedly wonderful portrayal of Vincent van Gogh. Especially, again... Amy doesn't do that much. And the quite unfortunate implications in the way the alien of the week is portrayed

on the flipside it's a wonderful little exploration of mental illness and a portrait of a wonderful painter!