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tarobytez · 3 years

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disability in the Six Of Crows Duology; an analysis of Kaz Brekker, Wylan Van Eck, and the fandom’s treatment of them.

****Note: I originally wrote this for a tiktok series, which im still going to do, but i wanted to post here as well bc tumblr is major contributor to what im going to talk about

CW: ableism, filicide, abuse

In the Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo delicately subverts and melds harmful disability tropes into her narrative, unpacking them in a way that I, as a disabled person, found immensely refreshing and…. just brilliant.

But what did you all do with that? Well, you fucked it up. Instead of critically looking at the characters, y’all just chose to be ableist.

For the next few videos paragraphs im going to unpack disability theory (largely the stuff surrounding media, for obvious reasons) and how it relates to Six Of Crows and the characterization of Kaz Brekker and Wylan Van Eck, then how, despite their brilliant writing, y’all completely overlooked the actual text and continuously revert them to ableist cariactures.

Disclaimer: 1. Shocker - i am disabled. I have also extensively researched disability theory and am very active in the disabled community. Basically, I know my shit. 2. im going to be mad in these videos this analysis. Because the way y’all have been acting has been going on for a long ass time and im fuckin sick of it. I don’t give a shit about non-disabled feelings, die mad

Firstly, I’m going to discuss Kaz, his play on the stereotypical “mean cripple” trope and how Bardugo subverts it, his cane, and disabled rage. Then, I am going to discuss Wylan, the “inspiration porn” stereotype, caregivers / parents, and the social model of disability. Finally, I will then explain the problems in the fandom from my perspective as a disabled person, largely when it comes to wylan, bc yall cant leave that boy tf alone.

Kaz Brekker

Think of a character who uses a cane (obviously not Kaz). Now, are they evil, dubiously moral, or just an asshole in general? Because nearly example I can think of is: whether it be Lots’O from Toy Story, Lucius Malfoy, or even Scrooge and Mr.Gold from Once Upon A Time all have canes (the last two even having their canes appear less and less as they become better people)

The mean/evil cripple trope is far more common than you would think. Villains with different bodies are confined to the role of “evil”. To quote TV Tropes, who I think did a brilliant job on explaining it “The first is rooted in eugenics-based ideas linking disability or other physical deformities with a "natural" predisposition towards madness, criminality, vice, etc. The Rule of Symbolism is often at work here, since a "crippled" body can be used to represent a "crippled" soul — and indeed, a disabled villain is usually put in contrast to a morally upright and physically "perfect" hero. Whether consciously on the part of the writer or not, this can reinforce cultural ideas of disability making a person inherently inferior or negative, much in the same way the Sissy Villain or Depraved Homosexual trope associate sexual and gender nonconformity with evil. ”

Our introduction to Kaz affirms this notion of him being bad or morally bankrupt, with “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason”, etc. This mythologized version of himself, the “bastard of the barrel” actively fed into this misconception. But, as we the audience are privy to his inner thoughts, know that he is just a teenager like every other Crow. He is complex, his disability isn’t this tragic backstory, he just fell off a roof. It’s not his main motivation, nor does he curse revenge for making him a cripple - it is just another part of who he is.

His cane (though the shows version fills me with rage but-) is an extension of Kaz - he fights with it, but it has a purpose. Another common thing in media is for canes to be simply accessories, but while Kaz’ cane is fashionable, it has purpose.

The quote “There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.” is so fucking powerful. Kaz does not want nor need a cure - its said in Crooked Kingdom that his leg could most likely be healed, but he chooses not to. Abled-bodied people tend to dismiss this thought as Kaz being stubborn but it shows a reality of acceptance of his disability that is just, so refreshing.

In chapter 22 of SOC, we see disabled rage done right - when he is called a cripple by the Fjerdan inmate, Kaz is pissed - the important detail being that he is pissed at the Fjerdan, at society for ableism, not blaming it on being disabled or wishing he could be normal. He takes action, dislocating the asshole’s shoulder and proving to him, and to a lesser extent, himself, that he is just as capable as anyone else, not in spite of, but because he is disabled. And that is the point of Kaz, harking back to the line that “there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken”.

I cried on numerous occasions while reading the SOC duology, but the parts I highlighted in this section especially so. I, as many other disabled people do, have had a long and tumultuous relationship with our disability/es, and for many still struggle. But Kaz Brekker gave me an empowered disabled character who accepts themselves, and that means the world to me.

Keeping that in mind, I hope you can understand why it hurts so much to disabled people when you either erase Kaz’s disability (whether through cosplay or fanfiction), or portray him as a “broken boy uwu”, especially implying that he would want a cure. That flies in the face of canon and is inherently fucking ableist. (if u think im mad wait until the next section)

Next, we have Wylan.

Oh fucking boy.

I love Wylan so fucking much, and y’all just do not seem to understand his character? Like at all? Since this is disability-centric, I’m not going to discuss how the intersection of his queerness also contributes to these issues, but trust me when I say it’s a contributing factor to what i'm going to say.

Wylan, motherfucking Van Eck. If you ableist pricks don’t take ur fucking hands off him right now im going to fight you. I see Wylan as a subversion another, and in my opinion more insidious stereotype pf disabled people - inspiration porn.

Cara Liebowitz in a 2015 article on the blog The Body Is Not An Apology explains in greater detail how inspiration porn is impactful in real life, but media is a major contributing factor to this reality. The technical definition is “the portrayal of people with disabilities as inspirational solely or in part on the basis of their disability” - but that does not cover it fully.

Inspiration porn does lasting damage on the disabled community as it implies that disability is a negative that you need to “overcome” or “triumph” instead of something one can feel proud of. It exploits disabled people for the development of non-disabled people, and in media often the white male protagonist. Framing disability as inherently negative perpetuates ideals of eugenics and cures - see Autism $peaks’ “I Am Autism” ad. Inspiration porn is also incredibly patronizing as it implies that we cannot take care of ourselves, or do things like non-disabled people do. Because i stg some of you tend to think that we just sit around all day wishing we weren’t disabled.

Another important theory ideal that is necessary when thinking about Wylan is the experience of feeling like a burden simply for needing help or accommodations. This is especially true when it comes to familial relationships, and internalized ableism.

The rhetoric that Wylan’s father drilled into his head, that he is “defective”, “a mistake”, and “needs to be corrected”, that he (Jan) was “cursed with a moron for a child” is a long held belief that disabled people hear relentlessly. And while many see Van Eck’s attempted murder of Wylan as “preposturous” and overall something that you would never think happens today - filicide (a parent murdering their child) is more common than you would like to believe. Without even mentioning the countless and often unreported deaths of disabled people due to lack of / insufficient / neglectful medical care, in a study on children who died from the result of household abuse, 40 of 42 of them (95%) were diagnosed with disabilities. Van Eck is not some caricature of ableist ideals - he is a real reflection on how many people and family members view disability.

Circling back to how Wylan unpacks the inspiration porn trope - he is 3 dimensional, he is not only used to develop the other characters, he is just *chefs kiss* Leigh, imo, put so much love and care into the creation of Wylan and his story and character growth that is representative of a larger feeling in the disabled community.

That being said, what you non-disabled motherfuckers have done to him.

The “haha Wylan can’t read” jokes aren’t and were not funny. Y’all literally boiled down everything Wylan is to him being dyslexic. And it’s like,,,, the only thing you can say about him. You ignore every other part of him other than his disability, and then mock him for it. There’s so much you can say about Wylan - simping for Jesper, being band kid and playing the fuckin flute, literally anything else. But no, you just chose to mock his disability, excellent fucking job!

Next up on “ableds stfu” - infantilization! y’all are so fucking condescending to Wylan, and treat him like a fucking toddler. And while partly it is due to his sexuality i think a larger portion is him being disabled. Its in the same vein of people who think that Wylan and Jesper are romantically one sided, and that Jesper only kind of liked Wylan, despite the canon evidence of him loving Wylan just as much. You all view him as a “smol bean”, who needs protecting, and care, when Wylan is the opposite of that. He is a fucking demolitions expert who suggested waking up sleeping men to kill them - what about that says “uwu”. You are treating Wylan as a burden to Jesper and the other Crows when he is an immensely valuable, fully autonomous disabled person - you all just view him as damaged.

And before I get a comment saying that “uhhh Wylan isn’t real why do you care” while Wylan may not be real, how you all view him and treat him has real fucking impacts and informs how you treat people like me. If someone called me an “uwu baby boy” they’d get a fist square in the fucking jaw. Fiction informs how we perceive the world and y’all are making it super fucking clear how you see disabled people.

Finally, I wanted to talk about how the social model of disability is portrayed through Wylan. For those who are unaware, the social model of disability contrasts the medical model, that views the disability itself as the problem, that needs to be cured, whereas the social model essentially boils down to creating an accommodating society, where disability acceptance and pride is the goal. And we see this with Wylan - he is able to manage his father’s estate, with Jesper’s assistance to help him read documents. And this is not out of pity or charity, but an act of love. It is not portrayed as this almighty act for Jesper to play saviour, just a given, which is incredibly important to show, especially for someone who has been abused by family for his disability like Wylan, that he is accepted.

Yet, I still see people hold up Jesper on a pedestal for “putting up with” Wylan, as if loving a disabled person deserves a fucking pat on the back. It’s genuinely exhausting trying to engage with a work I love so much with a fandom that thinks so little of me and my community. It fucking shows.

Overall, Leigh Bardugo as a disabled person wrote two incredibly meticulous and empowered disabled characters, and due to either lack of reading comprehension, ableism, or a quirky mix of both, the fandom has ignored canon and the experiences of disabled people for…. shits and giggles i guess. And yes, there are issues with the Grishaverse and disability representation - while I haven’t finished them yet so I do not have an opinion on it, people have been discussing issues in the KOS duology with ableist ideals. This mini series was no way indicative of the entire disabled experience, nor does it represent my entire view on the representation as a whole. These things need to be met critically in our community, and talked about with disabled voices at the forefront. For example, the limited perspective we get of Wylan and Kaz being both white men, does not account for a large portion of the disabled community and the intersection of multiple identities.

All-in-all, Critique media, but do not forget to also critique fandom spaces. Alternatively, just shut the fuck up :)

happy fucking disability pride month, ig

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itsallyscorner · 4 years

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Being A Singer Who Is Part Of The Marvel Cast

Pairing: Marvel Cast x reader

Prompt: What it’s like to be a singer who is also a Marvel actress.

Warnings: none! This isn’t really a teen!reader, but it can be!

Side note: I’m using Ari’s music, so just pretend you’re Ari or something😂😂 Should I write imagines about this?

(Ya’ll already know I had to use my bby Ari😌)

(Gif from Pinterest)

Being a singer and joining the MCU was actually quite nerve wracking.

You weren’t sure if anyone would take you seriously and that everyone would just see you as some singer who got casted into the movie because you were well known.

In fact, Kevin Feige casted you because you represented the character you were auditioning for so well.

You remember your first day on set and how nervous you were to be surrounded by so many talented actors. You kept to yourself and sat by the sidelines while everyone reunited with each other.

I feel like Mark or Robert might come up to you first. They would probably approach you and be all like, “Hey! My kids listen to your music and I have to listen to your voice 24/7! It’s nice to finally meet you!”

Anthony would probably join in and be like, “Aye, I know you from the radio. You sing that one song that’s goes like, ‘I want it, I got it’. Right?”

After some introductions and filming scenes together, you’d feel comfortable with your new friends. Especially after some of them fangirled over you.

Tom (Holland) most definitely fangirled over you, I just feel it😂😂

A few years later they would become your most supportive and dedicated fans (and family).

They’re probably even more dedicated than your fans.

Whenever you drop a new single or a music video, expect them all to share it on every social media account they have.

Tom Hiddleston, who’s barely on social media, would come on just to promote your stuff.

@/ChrisEvans: Hey everyone! Just came to say that @yourtwitterhandle just dropped a new music video and you should all see it! You won’t regret it! Amazing as always @yourtwitterhandle 💙💙💙

@/RobertDowneyJr: The talented and oh so beautiful @yourtwitterhandle just released a music video for her new single! Go ahead and see for yourself to experience the greatness of (y/n)! I’m proud of you sweetheart!❤️

They would even share it on their Instagram stories and post about it because they’re so proud of you🥺

Sebastian and Tom (Holland) would probably post videos of them jamming to your song and yelling at people to listen to it.

Video: Sebastian with 34+35 blasting in the background, “GO LISTEN TO (Y/N)’S NEW ALBUM POSITIONS! DO IT! NOW!”

If you release an album while working on a Marvel movie, they would have little release parties with the whole cast and crew of the movie.

They will have a countdown on some projector and once it hits one everyone would scream and hug you. Then you guys would listen to the whole album with no stops.

When they see you writing in your journal during breaks on set, they would ask if you’re writing new songs.

Sometimes they would even help you brainstorm for lyrics or a concept for a song.

I feel like Evans would be really good at this because he’s good with words.

When they hear you humming something that doesn’t sound familiar they would ask you if it’s a new song.

Scarlett and Lizzie were always excited to hear your stuff.

“Oooo, is that a new song?”

“Come on, (y/n)! Can we get a little snippet please?”

“We promise to not leak it like last time!”

“Yeah! Neither Mark or Tom are here, you’re all good!”

Tom or Mark definitely leaked a few of your songs by accident. Not that they did it on purpose, they just recorded things at the wrong times.

When you sang they would always be quiet and just listen to your voice.

Whenever you hit a high note or sang something that was a bit sassy, there were always some reactions.

Chadwick would really listen to your stuff and just feel the music. When he’s done listening to a song, he would hug you and praise you on how good you did.

Anthony was always your hype man, whether you were singing or answering a question about your music, he will hype you up whenever he can.

“Mmm that’s right, sing it girl.”

“Damn, ya’ll heard that note?!”

“That’s right! Number 1 album in the world, baby. Get with it.”

“Ya’ll heard her right, five Grammy nominations. Gimme some.” He’d brag while fist bumping you.

Sometimes you would catch them singing one of your songs and you would feel all warm and giggly inside because it makes you happy that they enjoy your music.

When you guys aren’t filming and you’re off on tour, they would come to the shows that are in their city or whatever is nearest to them.

Sometimes you wouldn’t even expect them to be there and would be caught off guard while you’re singing.

For example, you were doing a show in New York and all of a sudden you see Paul Rudd just jamming to Thank U, Next in the pit.

“I know they say I move on too fast, but this one gon’ last. ‘Cause her name is— Paul?”

Whenever you guys are promoting new Marvel movies on morning/late night shows, you were always the musical guest.

They were always excited to see you perform. They loved to see you in your element because you always looked like you were having fun and so free. You always stunned them with your talent.

They could never wrap their heads around how you could sing and dance while having so much energy on stage, it truly boggled with their minds.

When they were asked about your music career, they would always say good things because it was true.

RDJ: “She’s just so talented. Like at such a young age, she’s accomplished so much! She’s writing music, releasing album after album, and on top of that she’s working on these films with us! I’m proud of her and proud to say that she’s part of this little family we have. We’re very blessed to have her.”

Brie Larson: “I wish I was like her at that age. I’m so proud of her, she’s a young woman just doing what she loves and not letting people stop her. I’m glad that young girls around the world have her to look up to. She’s going to do amazing things in the future.”

Evans: “Man, have you heard her new album? She really went all in on that one. You know, we’ve seen her grow up into the woman she is today, and you could hear that in her music. I’m glad that we got to experience that and have some kind of part in the legacy she’s building. I hope this means we get to have a musical now.”

Mackie: “That’s our little birdie. Yeah— we call her birdie cause she’s always singing or humming something. You could never have her or Evans together on set, they just burst out singing some random song and everything becomes a musical. No, but in all seriousness, she’s special. The talent she has, you can’t find that in everyone. She’s one in a million.”

They would be so proud of you when you finally win a Grammy or other awards for your music.

There would be videos of them reacting to the moment your name is called for awards like, Album of the Year or Artist of the Year.

When you guys have karaoke night, everyone would fight for you to be on their team.

You could’ve been your own team, but there was no fun in that.

You were like the last donut with red, white, and blue sprinkles (If you know where that’s from, I love u)

“Robert, she was on your team last time! You can’t have her twice!”

“Watch me, Evans.”

“Ayo! Hold up! Sebastian and I barely get to have (y/n) on our team!”

“You boys are childish! (Y/n)’s going to be on my team with Brie and Lizzie.”

Being part of the Marvel family was one of the many things you were grateful for in your career.

They gave you so much love and support as if they were your real family and you loved them all so much.

Even when their times with Marvel were done, they would still be there to support you no matter what, because they were your number one fans.

#marvel #mcu #avengers #chris evans #chris evans x reader #marvel cast x teen!reader #marvel cast x reader #avengers x reader #sebastian stan x reader #anthony mackie x reader #robert downey jr x reader #scarjo #Scarlett Johansson #robert downey jr #Anthony Mackie #Paul Rudd #Brie Larson #brie larson x reader #Scarlett Johansson x reader

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the-bjd-community-confess · 3 years

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More Divaz confos

Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.

1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.

~Anonymous

2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way

~Anonymous

3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!

~Anonymous

4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......

~Anonymous

5. RE: BJD Divaz

I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.

I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.

I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.

I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?

If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.

Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".

Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?

The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.

This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.

~Anonymous

6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.

My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.

~Anonymous

7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.

~Anonymous

8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.

PROS

-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.

-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.

-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.

-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.

CONS

-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.

-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.

-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.

All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.

Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDConfessions #BJD Dealers

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clownkiwi · 3 years

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my long, long words about nuance that i doubt anyone will read (because wow this is long)

now that ive taken adderall and finally know the words i wanna say (like. ya know when ya wanna know what to say, but u dont know the words to say it with???), i guess i should make this clear. whenever i talk about a creator i don't like, my intention is to never "cancel" them, in the case that everybody thinks cancel culture works.

if anything, i truly dont think cancel culture is real. the names dumb and doesnt capture the nuance of what it really is: "holding people in powerful, high-ranking positions accountable for their abusive actions against others"

like, i truly feel like social media wasnt really designed for nuance like you'd hope it is. you could reblog a post with misinfo and believe its real because "it came with a source" but you never do the research for it, nobody ever wants to hold conversations. social media has come to a point where we just share memes, and thats what i use it for. there really hasnt been room for proper, nuanced discussions about drama that happens online

like, ok, an obvious example that i dont really like talking about: the unfuckable blog. while i was on the high of hearing the initial news and later news, i really didnt think that much about it other than it was hilarious and "just like sonic for real justice"/"sonic for real justice 2". i even posted a sarcastic/joking post about enjoying the drama from the sidelines as it wont affect me personally because im not a part of it.

but, taking a step back, getting off that high and thinking about it, it really isnt nuanced to say its like sonic for real justice because of the tumblr-specific drama that arose from it. if anything, its kinda more like the shitshow that was channel awesome in 2018- and that doesnt make this whole situation better.

with that said, "mod rhys is like doug walker" is not a nuanced take thats open for a healthy discussion. but there are some similarities i've noticed. the mods have left one by one, kinda like how the ccs from channel awesome all left one by one. there were only one person left at the end- in channel awesomes case, larry bundy jr, but only so he could keep the title "the winner of the channel awesome hunger games" (i dont remember if he left yet or is still there???). mod ruby, mainly bc she was petty and her host wasnt able to leave yet. and the fact that these were both real and not staged, not unlike s4rj, which as we all know, was staged.

and to let it be known, heres what i think about unfuckable at the end of the day. not every mod was horrible. mod rhys was a pretty bad leader at all this, leaving tantrums whenever anybody called them out and not responding appropriately enough to any drama, leading to a toxic workplace in the blog. all the other mods hate mod rhys now, i doubt they'll ever wanna confront mod rhys again after this. but mod ruby aint an angel either, as she prolonged getting the blog taken down and didnt help make the whole case better. and then, theres mod ted. which is another case to open up, but i wont go into now. with that said, i dont think anybody that has worked for unfuckable in the past are horrible besides the very specific examples i gave.

and, like i said, i never wanted to cancel the blog as a whole or anyone really. at most, i just want people to know information that are in callout posts and warn people about said specific person on platforms with a huge following. thats it, i never want to be that person thats just waiting for someone i dont even care about to get "cancelled" because i really dont have the creative energy to get all that excited for it. and yes, im making this a general statement because this can be applied for a lot of things im sure people thought i would "cancel", but like i said. i dont think cancel culture truly exists

like, god, if i reached 2k-5k followers, im sure there wouldve been people looking through my eight year archive trying to cancel me for something i did at a young age. like, "ooooo ruby said a slur on a scratch account when she was 10 & didnt know any better" or "ruby had bad takes about trans people at 16". like, i was younger then, i really didnt know any better

but also, im not perfect. im human, im capable of making mistakes, i think we all are. and the first step to fixing mistakes is realizing youve made them. and yes, even during the specific unfuckable debacle, i did not respond appropriately. i thought it was funny because i wasnt apart of it, i joined a server full of people who wanted to talk about it. and like, yea, thats not good, and that doesnt really help my case. and if i'll be honest, i doubt i'll get any responses to this because its very long already and i doubt anyone truly wants to have nuanced discussions on here, and i dont blame them

theres a reason why politics are banned in my streams, and its because. those arent fun or entertaining or enrichening conversations to have while i play a video game. same thing can apply to tumblr drama that shouldve really stayed private and not displayed out into the public, and just discussions about them in general on blog. i doubt people follow me for my takes on internet spaces, amd tbf, id rather not be remembered for making large text posts about internet drama from my phone. these are just ramblings coming from someone who wanted to put it into proper words in a post so nobody would get the wrong idea from me

i doubt i'll write anymore posts like this, but when i do, well, there ya go??? idk, idk what else to say, i'll just post it here and see it get buried under my reblogs of funny memes

#ruby says clown shit #long post #when i take adderall im able to think up the words i want to say and i want to say them but everytime i go to write them #they basically become long jumbled words pukes like this #like there isnt any proper punctuation or etc because i just wanted to say words on here about this #but yea u can ignore this if u want i doubt people will wanna read this bc while i wanna hope theres places for nuanced discussions online #and there are. i just. doubt in social media in general there really isnt enough room for nuanced discussions because generally #people dont wanna have these discussions and i dont blame them #but also. i believe there should be room for nuanced discussion about various topics. serious and non-serious

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otomes-and-tears · 4 years

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hi 👀👀👀👀👀👀 i heard u got a lot of nevra headcanons and thoughts?? share them with us!! i'll give u a kiss!

♦ Me talking about Nevra for way too long ♦

► tags/warnings: -

► words: 813

► a/n: Thank you Anon for giving me an opportunity to ramble about him. I do, in fact, have a lot of opinions about Nevra!

Also... I’ve been a bit busy lately, but I’ll probably have more free time to write next month. I’ve also had spent a lot of time on @marycecilyy ‘s discord server, which is a joy. So yeah! I’m not dead :p

► Masterlist

• I’m almost sure this is canon, but he’s musically inclined;

• He can play a couple of instruments and has a nice voice, though he doesn’t have an impressive range;

• Nevra hasn’t touched an instrument in years, but he’s always whistling some tune or humming a melody when he’s out and about;

• When Karenn was younger, he sang her old lullabies when she was upset. Not only did his songs distract her but thinking about something familiar would often make her feel better. Even after she grew up, if she’s upset he will still hold her and sing her favourite songs;

• He’s bi with a preference for women;

• My boy has a really weird sense of moral when he left Yaqut. It took him a long time to figure out what he actually thought was right and wrong and separate it from what he was taught;

• He still struggles with that occasionally;

• After the events of the first season... He starts trusting people way less;

• Nevra always struggled a bit with building genuine connections with others but ever since he lost those most important to him he just can’t let more people in, fearing they will also leave;

• He also became even more protective of Karenn since then, and Chrome by extension;

• Nevra has this womaniser, bad boy persona that he built as a way to protect himself and he doesn’t know how to fully get rid of it;

• While he can often try to pretend to be emotionless and distant he is a sensitive soul. Things get to him easily, but since he sees himself as a pillar of support in the guard (in s1 as the leader of the shadow guard and s2 as Huang Hua’s right hand man) and he knows people look up to him as an example, so he doesn’t let it show;

• Drowns himself in work to avoid thinking about things that hurt him;

• Doesn’t like twilight, but he has read it multiple times;

• I think he’s one of those people who really wants to understand why it’s so popular, so every once in a while he’ll pick it up and try to read it with a new perspective but ends up finding new reasons why he dislikes it;

• Ended up learning how to style hair because of his little sister and he’s decent at it;

• If he was in the human world...I can see him being VERY bad at technology and just being able to manage one social media at a time. He would probably have an Instagram account dedicated solely to pictures of Shaitan.

Thoughts:

• I chose Nevra right off the bat lol;

• Look, none of the Eldarya love interests were exactly my type;

• But between all of them, he was the one who caught my attention;

• I really like his first interactions with the mc;

• And when I looked at him i immediately pinned him as the “depressed character with a tragic backstory that hides behind a mask of flirtatiousness” love interest;

• which always have the most interesting routes;

• I’m still disappointed they didn’t give him a character arc. HE HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL!;

• I love him to death but goodness gracious that man did NOTHING on season one;

• I’m sure I’m not the first one to say this, but I’m absolutely sure the team had a completely different story in mind when they started writing the game but ended up changing the storyline once they decided to tell a darker story;

• And they just... Forgot to add his contributions to the plot;

• Or a character arc;

• Or anything other than just fanservice;

• But really, the little hints of a story that they gave us were so interesting;

• He came from a vampire clan?? They were involved with some shady shit?? He left with his little sister??;

• How old were they?? How long did they travel around until they got to eel?? How was his personality like back then??;

• What made him leave? Why doesn’t he talk about it?;

• Those components could make for such a dramatic, interesting story;

• I had faith they would do something with it;

• I remember being so desperate for some semblance of a character arc that I started theorising that he would eventually join Lance and Leiftan on the dark side;

• That didn’t happen, but now that I’m actively participating in the fandom and not just lurking I’m down to making this an AU;

• But seriously... Even with his lack of story, I still really like him;

• He’s charming and I think his interactions with the MC are very fun! I liked all the little details the writers added that gave him a little more personality;

• Like how he likes dogs and is a good dancer;

• His relationship with Karenn and how caring he was with those under his care;

• Nevra is a very sweet character and he deserves better!

#I didn’t mention this in the ‘’thoughts’’ section but he’s grade A material for angst which I appreciate #I’m sorry for everyone who knows me from the server #I’m sure you heard me screaming about all of this more than once #I just love him okay??#ALSO #I’m sure that he would start appreciating the little human trinkets that would end up in Eldarya #at least during the years where the guardian was stuck in the crystal #even stupid little things like children’s books or yes eVEN TWILIGHT #they would be harder to come across #but every time he came in contact with something human he’d wonder what the guardian thought of it #even as the memory of them faded and he started giving up on ever seeing them again #he would hold on to some of these things and just think about them #Eldarya #eldarya nevra #eldarya a new era #A new era nevra #I’m on mobile so I’m sorry if this post is wonky #I also didn’t grammar correct it #so if anything is weird #it’s because of that #bee's writing

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pacifymebby · 3 years

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I always lean towards messaging you when I have a catb thought Ik you aren’t my therapist but you seem to write and reblog things that I relate to and I feel like we’re very similar people anyway I’m so sad about how much and how fast everything has changed like afew years ago their music was my escape from reality and I could just pretend I lived this life that Was frankly mainly just romanticised and idk the fact that everything’s changing is really fucking with my head and I just want good old van back uno? Like I miss seeing their stupid little shit like Larry tied up on their Instagram it’s like now we don’t even have those little things that tell us that they’re atleast okay? I feel like I’m losing it abit after reading it had me so fucking emotional trying to analyse everything and figure out how they’re all doing and I know it’s my own fault for putting all this emotional trauma into their music and I’ve just lost it I’m genuinely nuts without putting all my shit into the next time I’ll go and see them Idk I had the best time at Leeds but it scared me so much to think that that was the last time I’d get to feel that feeling

Hi anon, you can message me whenever you want to about anything my love!!!

I think i know what you mean with this one because I've really leant on this band throughout my darkest times and I really have used them as an escapism thing. When I broke up with on of my abusive exes I was writing Oxygen and I used to use that as an escape from my life and live vicariously through my characters. I think catfish, especially when they first started, were such happy go lucky lads and their social media presence was just funny, it made me laugh and picked me up and gave me something to smile at that was just daft.

I used to listen to the balcony when I was feeling low because it always raised my spirits. I remember being so excited when the ride came out and then being secretly excited for the balance. I remember longshot would play on the radio at work when I was super stressed and I would turn the radio up and sing along and it would just make me feel that little bit lighter. Light enough to get through the rest of the shift.

And I understand what you're saying when you say that it's scary thinking that Leeds might be your last time ever feeling that way but believe me it won't be.

I still personally don't think they will split up, but I know that if they do, you will still get that joy and that release and that comfort from their songs and the old videos and everything. I remember being devestated when my chemical romance split up, thinking that it would ruin everything for me, but it didn't and years later I still fall back on thst band when I'm in a bad place.

It'll be the same with catfish. Its a shame how they don't communicate so much anymore but I think, we have the old videos and the old interviews and we still have Bondy when he resurfaces from time to time.

I think that although things feel very strange and sad now and like stuff might be coming to an end I think it's more likely that it's the end of an era rather than the end of everything u know?

Maybe they will leave those three albums like a trilogy and the stuff they make next will be different, or maybe they just need a break and some rest, or maybe they want to keep making music but they don't want the responsibility of fame (the killers are a good example of this I think, like they gig they release albums but shit u see nothing from them in terms of casual content) and idk, I think what am trying to say anon is don't lose all hope and don't panic.

You'll always have the albums and the interviews, the video diaries and all the dumb shit on their instas. And I think, they'll keep going in one way or another, I just think this is what happens to most bands who hit their 30s,they just calm down and grow up don't they. They're not teenagers anymore and maybe they don't feel as sociable and as lary and as much like they want to be in the limelight anymore.

Even oasis mellowed didn't they.

Idk anyway I feel am just ranting now but message me again whenever you like love. I'm glad you had such a good time seeing catfish, I hope u get to treasure that memory forever x

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sotorubio · 4 years

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okay well what do you think the writers wanted to get out of those chats? what reaction were they expecting? the writers know what they were doing. they specifically didnt name any names (it would have saved them backlash if they just said ava) viewers know that fatou has yet to reconile with ava and kieu my. of course fans are going to speculate the gesture for her love interest because they mentioned “romantic” “josh” and worrying about what to wear. i get that you can organize dates with your friends! that is totally normal and should be shown on tv. i understand that part, but people have every right to get mad when the chats were made to be misleading. not to mention the bot sending the link with 💫 as if that isnt a kieutou thing, esp since fatou sent that emoji in response to kieu my’s ⚡️

okay first of all msjfldjdkd i think some of u take the texts & other social media a bit too seriously analyzing emojis n all they're just extra content for us to make it feel more real but second have u ever watched a tv show before?

u were so close if u had thought abt it a little more u would've made it 😭 "they specifically didn't name any names" yeah... bc they wanted us to be surprised. n the fact that they did Not name any names should've been ur first clue that it might not be kieu my. "viewers know that fatou has yet to reconcile with ava and kieu my" that's ur second clue that there r two possibilities n the writers r letting us play w the idea on our own.

a lot of ppl guessed ava before the clip dropped, that guess was made based on the two examples above + the fact that kieu my literally told fatou to stay away from her so ppl started to think it'd be weird for her to make a big gesture for kieu my. so what if it had been for kieu my? would u call it bad writing bc other ppl guessed ava based on the clues the writers gave us?

the ppl who thought it was kieu my made their guess based on the same clues so how is it bad writing when that side turn out to have been wrong but would be good writing if the other side had been wrong? that makes no sense it just proves that ppl r only angry bc they were expecting smth that druck never even promised...

again there's nothing shameful abt guessing wrong, i myself guessed wrong at first, it doesn't mean that u r stupid it just means u picked the wrong option out of the two that the show intentionally gave u. this is a plot twist some ppl saw coming, some didn't + the planning was going on on social media, not on screen so if u r a casual viewer u wouldn't even know there was a whole possibility of it going any other way n in the end the writing that shows on screen is the one u should judge

just to make it more clear so for example if u r watching a murder mystery n there r multiple suspects. there's always that one guy who's at the wrong place at the wrong time n he's the most obvious suspect but it's never gonna be them bc the whole point of it is suspense n making u doubt it. if u think that based on the texts "of course it's gonna be the romantic interest" but they suspiciously never state that explicitly by mentioning kieu my by name maybe u should doubt the most obvious answer. bc that's just a normal writing technique tv shows use for plot twists.... they paint u a picture but also give u a context & clues that can make u question it & not believe it

u said the writers knew what they were doing yeah exactly. they knew how they can surprise their audience that's their job omg?

like smfjfkshhfks when u watch og s3 n the whole time the girls think isak has a crush on eva do u go OMG THAT WAS SO MISLEADING!! BAD WRITING!! when it's revealed he's gay??? i beg that u guys put this into context & realize the only thing that makes this plot twist different from others is the fact that u personally didn't like the outcome. as i said there r other things to criticize in the season it's not perfect but this rly isn't it.

#inbox #anon #druck #long post

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evansfm · 3 years

Text

𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 –– 𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 .

every morning evan woke up to a london sky that refused to let the sun in ; summer was drier than spring , but the clouds seemed to linger year round . . . not that she minded . she had , after all , grown up in county dublin , where things were always a bit damp . still , the lack of COLOR could be draining . . . so she searched for it in unexpected places , creating little pockets of color for herself in a rather grayscale world . golden lights strung on her balcony , isla’s bright red hair and matching smile , an array of bright letters boasting NME lining a wall –– covers from past decades , a rainbow rubik’s cube next to her keyboard , two framed photographs perched on her desk . the first seemed like forever ago , a beaming eloise with a twin on either side ; beck on the left , evan on the right , both planting kisses on her cheek one valentine’s day years and years ago . the second was more recent , backstage at a show in galway ; kieran sat in his chair with his fingers intertwined with evan’s as she draped her arms over his shoulders from behind , chin resting on top of his curls and a smile that looked SOFT compared to the goofy one ruairi wore , looming behind her with his chin on her head . she felt warmth every time she looked at them , but there was always a tug in her stomach . . . the undeniable feeling of something missing . she found her little pockets of color , but they still seemed muted without the people she loved –– the PERSON she loved .

their schedules had begun to clash –– and evan hated the way she was beginning to get used to the dull ache of his absence . distance had been a part of their relationship for months , but the time zones were killing her . they couldn’t always make time for hours wasted away on facetime ; she couldn’t always fall asleep to the sound of his voice on the other end of the line . they were both where they were supposed to be , chasing their dreams together , separately . . . but evan was beginning to wonder if the path she was on –– the desk , the deadlines , the distance –– was actually what she WANTED . there was a lack of creative control at nme ; she was a part of a greater whole , confined to a desk when she wasn’t out in the field . she felt restless . . . bored , almost . and with her most recent deadline met and a job of her own –– evan connely , sans nme –– waiting at the end of the week , she was distracted .

“ WHAT are you doing ? ” isla popped up behind her , coming out of nowhere to look over her shoulder .

“ jesus , ” evan startled , nearly dropping the plastic puzzle in her hand , “ where t’e fuck did you come from ? ”

“ charlotte’s office . answer my question . ”

“ playing wit’ a toy , ” she held up the half solved rubik’s cube , then let out an audible sigh as isla looked unimpressed , then jutted her chin towards the computer screen , “ trying to put together a mood board for t’is gig i’ve got wit’ saint valentine on friday . ”

perfectly shaped auburn brows raised , “ we got saint valentine ? ”

“ no , ” evan’s lips lifted into the faintest smirk , “ i got saint valentine . ”

“ you’re bloody joking . shut UP , ” isla gasped , rounding to her side of the table desk , just to roll her chair around , “ and you didn’t fucking tell me ? ”

“ no , because you couldn’t keep a secret if you tried .”

“ well that’s because it shouldn’t be a fucking secret , ev . this is fantastic , ” hazel eyes widened with excitement , “ so you’re shooting them for –– . . . ”

“ t’ey weren’t too explicit about it . i know for certain i’m covering bot’ shows at t’e o2 , documenting t’e whole thing from t’e moment they get there , ” evan huffed a curl away from her face , nodding to the screen , “ and t’en a shoot on site at t’e venue . so i’ve got to work wit’ what i’ve got . i’ve got ONE chance here , and nicky haven scares t’e absolute fuck out’a me , so i can’t blow it . ”

“ nicky haven scares EVERYONE . it’s part of his charm , ” isla leaned in , making herself perfectly comfortable in evan’s space as she took the mouse and began clicking through different ideas opened on photoshop , “ let’s see what you’ve got so far –– . . . ”

“ isla , it’s not a big deal . really i shouldn’t even be working on t’is HERE , right now . it’s not exactly nme related stuff , you kn–– ”

“ i TOLD you she was here today , ” a girl called sophie , who manned nme’s front desk in the mornings , materialized on the other side of evan’s desk . a junior writer , andrew , was hot on her heels .

“ soph , now really probably isn’t the best time and it really isn’t your busi–– ”

“ someone’s got to show her , ” sophie was , admittedly , obnoxious . and coming from EVAN , that was a feat .

“ show WHAT to WHO ? ” isla’s voice changed in tone , taking on a hint of authority as she looked at andrew , “ aren’t you meant to be doing some social media research right now ? ”

“ i WAS , but –– ”

“ but we’ve found something that evan HAS to see , ” sophie . again .

“ we ? ”

“ ME ? ” evan said in tandem with isla , brows lifting as she clicked the final piece into place on the cube . she glanced over at isla and felt a strange twist in her stomach when she saw the redhead had gone rigid .

“ is this about –– ”

“ rebecca stringer , ” andrew nodded solemnly , as though evan was supposed to know who the hell THAT was .

“ better known as BEX , ” sophie added .

it was evan’s turn to go rigid . her back straightened , and it felt like ice had just been shot through her veins . truth be told , she was more worried about conflicting schedules lately . . . not the way bex sing-songed a shortened version of kieran’s name . . . or the way she answered his phone and simply couldn’t remember who evan was . . . or the way she’d made sure evan could hear her promise to personally deliver kieran to his hotel room that first night in los angeles . it wasn’t exactly PLEASANT being reminded of the instinct that she’d shut down , intuition telling her something wasn’t quite right there . her brows pinched together as the rubik’s cube slid from one hand to the other and back . she glanced over at isla with a prompting look .

“ we’re . . . doing a piece about nepotism babies in the industry , and she’s a PERFECT example of one so i was having andrew look into the way she interacts with fans and her socials and what not . she’s one of like TEN people we’re looking into , ” she explained with an apologetic look . it was then that she turned a sharp eye to andrew and sophie , “ don’t know what THAT has to do with evan , though . ”

“ see for yourself . ”

“ SOPHIE . ”

“ what ? it probably isn’t even new information for her , ” she shrugged , reaching over two monitors to hand evan a phone . twitter was opened to a profile with bex’s beaming face in the icon , but the handle wasn’t hers . she gave the pair of them a skeptical look before glancing over at isla who only offered a half - hearted shrug . it didn’t take long to see what , exactly , sophie had been talking about , a slew of tweets and retweets .

bexupdates : bex & kieran pulled up to the venue together . . . and then left at the same time . why are they lowkey so cute annathefound : not bex wearing a baby tee version of the found’s merch . . . stanning her boyfriend just like the rest of us

ruairidailyposts : ok wait are evan & kieran even dating anymore bc i could be down with a bex & kieran moment cheerupbailey : @ruairidailyposts you know two people can have a relationship without posting about it right ??? they’re in separate countries rn lol

babybexxx : i just think that bex & kieran walsh as a power couple .

bxhq : no offense but bex is simply so much better for him than some rando from ireland like what thefoundupdates : @bxhq babes they LITERALLY grew up together ????

totallyconan : be honest do u guys think the reason evan isn’t on tour with them is bc they’re not together anymore like she literally never misses shows

adamfitzupdates : why are y’all so obsessed with a relationship that doesn’t concern you ??? chill bexlevitates : @adamfitzupdates bc it’s weird that evan knew him for so long and only started dating him AFTER the found started to get big like that’s shady

bexupdates : find someone who looks at u the way bex looks at kieran on stage wtf did y’all see that

newruleshq : no waaaay this man has a gf when he and bex look so good next to each other LMAO

thefoundupdates : according to the girl who wrote the article kieran literally WALKED OUT on the interview ??? rockstar behavior but also hope he’s ok

evan could’ve kept scrolling for hours as her heart rate began to rise and rise . the crease between her brows deepened , and she reminded herself of everything she knew to be true . kieran LOVED her . twitter was a BRUTAL place . it was as though the worst parts of her subconscious had come to life in 280 characters or less . her head began to swim as her heart sank into her stomach .

“ what does t’is –– . . . ” her voice cracked , and she cleared her throat , finally looking up from the phone screen , “ why , exactly , are you showing me this ? ”

sophie looked as though she was shocked by evan’s question , “ because i’ve dated musicians . . . and like HALF of those are in bex’s likes . which are public , by the way . just doesn’t seem subtle to me . ”

“ are you trying to insinuate something here , sophie ? ” her tone shifted , irritated as she handed the phone back .

“ like i said , i’ve dated guys in bands , too , and –– ”

“ enough , ” isla snapped , “ you’re sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong . BOTH of you should be off doing your jobs right now , so , run along . ”

both of them scurried off without a word .

evan was still for a moment , but her fingertips were itching for the keyboard . she was no stranger to things like this , unkind words from strangers who didn’t LOVE the idea of her –– despite not knowing her . the good outweighed the bad on the internet , but the voices who didn’t like her were always the loudest . even BEFORE she and kieran had gone public with their relationship . . . even before they were ever in a relationship at all . over time , she’d learned to tune it out and focus on the kindness that flooded her comment sections and mentions . . . but every now and again something slipped through the cracks . . . and when they did , she absorbed them like a blow to the abdomen . they settled into her memory and cemented themselves there , tucked away until they found the perfect moment to make her self conscious . like the fan who had commented on the shape of her body before and after going to uni . . . and another from galway who made it their business to let everyone know she’d slept around while living there . . . and every time someone said she wasn’t good enough for kieran or any of them . that she had bad intentions , leeching onto the boys for fame . that her career was based SOLELY on the four of them .

if she caved and kept scrolling , she’d commit it all to memory . . . everything that made her intuition about bex STRONGER .

instead , she launched forward and snatched the rubik’s cube back up , immediately distorting its perfect faces and mixing it up again . it was good to keep your hands busy , she knew , when your mind began to run away .

the worst of it wasn’t even TRULY comments about their relationship . . . those hurt , but they didn’t sting quite as bad as real - time updates about kieran and bex showing up or leaving venues together . she dulled the pain by reminding herself that THREE other boys were never too far behind . that kieran would never . . . COULD never . . .

but then again , there was the tweet that weighed heaviest in her mind . kieran walked out in the middle of an interview , and he hadn’t told her . something rattled him to the point of his version of an outburst , and he hadn’t told her . that seemed like something he would have told her . . . it seemed important enough , she thought to herself , right ? RIGHT ?

her throat felt tight , and she kept running the tweets she’d read over in her mind . there was a deep furrow in her brow as she looked down at her hands , still vehemently mixing up the toy . something felt off kilter . . . but she couldn’t pin down which hurt more : the slew of tweets from people pretending to know what went on in her relationship . . . or the thought of kieran doing something as rash as storming out of an interview –– and then not telling her .

“ i didn’t know about t’e interview bit , ” she said quietly , eyes still trained on the colorful cube . she was certain her face was the opposite , color drained .

“ evan –– . . . ”

“ it’s fine , ” she said firmly , “ it’s probably not true . just like t’e rest of it isn’t true . ”

her voice sounded distant . . . and she wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince isla or HERSELF . clearing her throat again , she set the toy back down on her desk and scooted towards the computer .

“ i’ve got work to do , ” she said quietly , getting back to the monitor . though all she wanted to do was go home . how many more people thought that she wasn’t GOOD ENOUGH for kieran ? how many people thought someone like bex was a better fit ? how long would it take for the suggestion to become potent enough to make the people who KNEW them question it as well ? and if kieran had walked out of an interview , WHY hadn’t he told her ?

she glanced down at her own phone screen , hoping that maybe she’d missed a text or a call . . . but all she got was nothing . nothing but the words she’d seen written down , now cemented in her mind : bex is simply so much better for him . . . because SHE was there , wrapped up in the same world he was in . she was accessible . immediate . beautiful .

and evan was stuck in london with nothing but time to wonder .

#idk what to taaaag it

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enbycalicocat · 4 years

Text

Day 2: 28th of January, 2021

The stylist patiently told me with that gentle voice of hers to please tilt my head in a specific way. Her hands softly guided me, and I imagined my tense neck muscles creaking and cracking as they jerkily moved.

God bless this woman, I thought sincerely. For the past couple of hours she had been nothing but kindness even though I was stiff as a board, and getting worse as time went by and recording got closer.

I seldom logged into social media, and it turned out that the day I did, there was some dumb contest trending. The prize was a spot in a popular variety show. Or was it a game show? Truth is, I don't even watch it. But the captions said Seventeen, TXT, and BTS would be guests, so I decided to participate, because why the hell not?

Now that I was sitting on the stylist chair, watching people hurriedly pass by, hands shaking, and heart thundering in my chest, I could finally answer that question. Why the hell not participate? Because you might win. That's why. Winning should've been a good thing, right? But instead I was so nervous I'd probably pass out. And guess what, since I won the damn contest, I'd get to pass out right in front of the three bands I admired the most in my life.

Yay!

NOT.

A familiar voice rang out through the room and brought me out of my mind.

"I was waiting with everyone else in a room, but I got lost. Where am I? Can you tell me where the other hyungs are waiting?"

My eyes widened so much, so fast, they literally hurt. No. It couldn't be him. Please. It can't be him!

"Minghao-ssi, how did you end up here? Seventeen-sunbaenim are nowhere near here."

Yes! It was him! And the one that had spoken so casually with him was none other than the stylist-unnie working on me. I was crying silent tears in my heart as I saw Minghao, and I mean THE Minghao, the crazy talented singer and rapper from Seventeen, smile at my stylist. No, please, Haohao, don't smile like that, you're blinding me.

"Noona!" He said excitedly, coming closer. "Finally a familiar face."

"You brat, how do you manage to get lost each and every single time?"

"Noona, it's not my fault. I just went to the bathroom, and then when I came out, I couldn't remember the way back. If the bathroom had been closer to the room, this wouldn't have happened!"

"Haaa~," the stylist-unnie sighed, "Fine, I'll take you back to your room. Either way, I'm done with her now, and she needs to wait in the same room."

"Oh." And just like that, thanks to unnie, Minghao's focus was now on me. I felt myself shrink about one meter under the pressure of his stare. "Sunbae will be waiting in the same room as us?"

Oh my God. Sunbae. As if I'm some very important person to be called sunbae by THE Minghao. I'm gonna die. And Haohao will be the cause of death.

"Yes, she is the one that won the contest. She will be participating in the games and recording the show with you all today."

The stylist gave me a look after a few seconds of silence had gone by and I understood that I was supposed to introduce myself now. Crap. I bowed quickly.

"U-uhh... N-nice to meet you Mi-Mi-Minghao-ssi, my name is... U-uh... H-Hyemin. P-please take care of me!" Jesus, I was so nervous I was stuttering all over the place. What the hell was I supposed to do when I met the rest of Seventeen, not to mention TXT and BTS?

"Ah, I see. Nice to meet you too, Hyemin-noona. Please take care of me too." Minghao bowed as well and smiled that blinding smile again, and I had to resist the urge to outwardly squint, so I could only cry in my heart. Ahhh~ Haohao, I thought I told you not to smile at me like that. Are you really trying to kill your noona?

"Ah~ So you can talk!" The stylist-unnie interjected, giving me a gentle smile. "Well, then you'll be alright. None of these brats bite, I swear."

"YAH!"

The loud scream suddenly resounded through the room and everyone jumped. Afterwards, a very angry Wonwoo, I mean THE fucking Wonwoo, rapper and singer for Seventeen as well, walked over to Minghao.

"Minghao-yah! It's been an hour since you supposedly went to the bathroom! I've been looking for you for ages!"

Oh my God... That thick low voice of his was no joke. It really did sound all grave and sexy. In fact, if anything, on camera it sounded higher that it actually was.

"Hyung," Minghao said trying not to smile, while the rest of the people in the room tried and failed to hold in their laughter. "Hyung, I got lost."

"You always get lost," Wonwoo said as he rolled his eyes, finally calming down now that he'd found Haohao. "Come on, let's go back to the room. I know the way."

Quickly, before I could react, the stylist grabbed me by the arms and pushed me towards Wonwoo.

"Ah! Since you're going back to the waiting from Wonwoo-ssi, please bring Hyeminnie with you."

Stylist-unnie, I'll die if I meet the rest of them. Either my heart will stop or I'll die of embarrassment, whichever happens first. So could you be a little less enthusiastic about killing me?

"Hye... Min...?" Wonwoo asked in confusion looking at me.

"Hyung, this is Hyemin-noona, she will be filiming and participating in the games with us. She won the contest." Minghao walked over to Wonwoo and gave me a smile. Haohao, what did I say? WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SMILING AT ME LIKE THAT?

Okay, time to introduce myself again. And I just had to do this about... twenty more times. Yay.

"H-hello, Wonwoo-ssi, I'm Hyemin and I'm 27 years old. It's a pleasure to meet you. Please take care of me," I said as I bowed.

"Ah, nice to meet you Hyemin-noona. It's nice to meet you too. Please take care of me too," Wonwoo said bowing and then hitting me with his signature fox smile.

My heart...! My heart! I can't take this! I'm gonna die before the day's even over!

"Oh, Wonwoo-ssi, I wanted to ask, who all are coming today, do you know?"

"Well... There's only five of us. From TXT-hubae only two came, and from BTS-sunbaenim only four came."

Well, that meant I only had to die nine more times. It's something!

"Ah, I see, I see. Okay then, go on to the waiting room. They'll start filming any moment now and it won't be good if you're not there." The stylist-noona smiled at us, and when her eyes settled on me, she winked.

"Yes, thank you for taking care of Minghao-yah." Wonwoo bowed formally.

"Indeed, thank you noona," Minghao said bowing as well.

"Th-thank you unnie for doing my make-up and taking care of me." I was really very grateful to her. Even though she actively tried to kill me, she also helped smooth some of the interactions over. I wished my words could express it better.

"No need, no need. Now, go on, go on. You're making noona blush with all your bowing and formality."

Without saying anymore, Wonwoo stood up straight, smiled and then turned to leave. Minghao and I followed his example, and all three of us began walking towards the waiting room.

"So, Hyemin-noona, we should get to know a bit about each other if we're gonna be playing games together. The information will be of good use. Either to know your game comrade better, or to know your enemy," Minghao said with a laugh.

It seemed like he really was the social butterfly he appeared to be on camera.

"U-Uhh... What do you wanna know?" I asked awkwardly, wanting to hide behind my hair, but not daring to touch it after unnie had styled it. If I ruined the hair-do I'd just make more work for her.

"What does noona do? Do you have a job?" Wonwoo interjected before Minghao could even begin to think.

Minghao shot him an arched eyebrow and a smug smile. Wonwoo blushed and looked forward again as he cleared his throat.

"I'm curious too," he said shyly.

For the first time that day I laughed. Look at Wonwoo, THE Wonwoo, get all shy and uncomfortable because he wanted to know more about me in a respectful way and couldn't seem to find the way to do it.

"That's okay. I can tell you. I work at a book store, but my passion, what I do as soon as I get home, is writing," I began to explain.

As the three of us, and then the twelve of us when I met the rest of the guys, talked, laughed, teased and joked around, I finally realized I'd made a mistake.

Somewhere along the way, probably sometime this morning as I was getting ready to come to the studio, I had forgotten that these guys where real. I had forgotten they were human beings, with emotions and mistakes. They were as nervous as me probably, and that was something I didn't even consider possible a few hours ago. However, now I remembered: they're all as imperfect as me. There's nothing to be afraid of.

Prompt: 2. Write a story based on a dream you had.

Comments Previous Day Next Day

#writing #30 day writing challenge #drabble #seventeen drabble #kpop fanfic #fanfic #very short story #seventeen minghao #seventeen wonwoo #xu minghao #jeon wonwoo #korean culture #game show #fiction #seventeen

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jamaiskookie · 4 years

Text

mutuals (pjmxreader) [bonus:celibacy]

~mutuals~ [youtuber!reader x idol!jimin] social media AU

synopsis: park jimin is a (slightly problematic) idol singer, and he becomes completely smitten with a youtuber after stumbling upon her dance cover to his own song.

genre: fluff, a good dosing of cracK, literally two seconds of angst blink and u miss it

word count: 2.3k

[A/N]: thank you for all the love you’ve given mutuals! can’t believe it’s only been like one week since this blog has been up hehE enjoy this drabble of thirsty!jimin after he found your video. if you have no idea what i’m talking about gO READ THE FIRST CHAPTER

series masterlist

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When JinHit first hit record sales with the success of Jimin’s mini album, and RAPLINE’s first title single a couple years ago, Jin finally gave in to Jimin’s begging and gave all the artists their own personalised studio in the JinHit building. It’s where all the greatest hits on the charts are written. It’s practically the modern eighth wonder of the world, considering the names and talent that have graced the walls.

Jimin, Yoongi, and Namjoon all have their separate studios to write, produce, and record in, and all three of the small rooms are located next to each other. Partially because of design and common sense, but also so all three friends can conveniently annoy each other when needed. Jin’s office isn’t too far away either, just across the floor. Usually, if they’re all working in the studio, they’ll walk over to Jin’s office during lunch hour and leech off his amazing personal pantry in his office. The office is much, much bigger than their studios, and Jimin never fails to remind Jin that.

All three artists have grown a little attached to their studios. It’s where they do what they all love most, after all. Yoongi barely lets anyone into his ‘Genius Lab’, and ever since a staff member accidentally messed with his coffee machine, he hasn’t let anyone step foot in. Nobody’s even allowed to come inside Namjoon’s studio during what he calls his ‘namjoon talent time’ which is basically just a period of time before comeback season where he locks himself in the studio, writing music 24/7.

He occasionally asks Jimin to listen to his unreleased files for suggestions, but other than that, noone except Yoongi goes inside his studio during ‘namjoon talent time’, and Namjoon only reluctantly lets him in as his bandmate. Not that Jimin minds, he hasn’t been let inside since he accidentally mistook Joon’s studio for his own and brought one of his one-night-stands over. Joonie was horrified, and made Jimin sanitise, wash and clean every part of the room, all while he cried about how his ‘baby was molested’. It was traumatising for both parties.

Out of the three, Jimin’s the least protective over his studio, even though he’s the one who put the most effort into it. He’s spent years perfecting it, making it the best place for inspiration and writing music. Everything in the studio has been personally chosen and thought out by him. The snacks and custom mini fridge, the wall of his entire discography, trophies, music awards, and his personal favourite, the official JIMIN logo sign above the couch.

It lights up in purple.

Despite being a pretty stereotypical assholey partying douche idol, Jimin’s likes to think he’s actually quite talented. He’s been named ‘Most professional idol’ on every single online survey he can find (He’s also always voted for ‘Most handsome’, but that’s besides the point), and it’s true. Jimin never sells himself short. He is a professional musician, singer, and producer. He writes his own music, choreographs his own dancing, and uses his platform to spread positive, meaningful messages. There’s a reason he’s so internationally successful, and it’s because he’s talented.

Maybe right now isn’t a great example of his talent. Jimin was in his studio, holding his head in his hands. Sure, he’s a globally recognised and accomplished songwriter, but to be honest, he hadn’t written a single piece of original JIMIN music since he wrote ‘Filter’ with Namjoon months ago. He was in the biggest creative slump in his entire career. He had tried almost everything, co-writing, exercise, music samples, playing around on instruments. Hell he even tried music therapy. Whatever melody he tried to create, whatever lyrics he tried to write, it all came out sounding like garbage.

Yesterday was a little bit of a blow to Jimin’s ego. It was three in the morning, and he’d been in the studio for seven hours, with only one verse written.

I love to let loose,

Have you ever tried eating moose?

It’s all so bananas,

Tony fucking Montana.

Yeah, it’s pretty embarrassing. It’s not even a verse, it looks more like a kindergartener’s attempt to write poetry. For the first time in his life, he doesn’t really feel like writing music or putting his thoughts in a song. Jimin is just plain out of ideas. He has nothing to write about. And if he doesn’t have good content to put out, he’d rather not put anything out at all.

But he still hates it. All his life, he’s coped by writing, singing and dancing. This writer’s block has been too frustrating. Too many sleepless nights and crumpled papers have been wasted over it, with no progress or music in result. Plus, Jin might be one of his closest friends, but Jin was also a boss, and he still needed more tracks for Jimin’s big comeback, happening end of the year.

He can’t help it. Jimin has nothing left to write about. He opened one eye when he heard the distant ding of his phone coming from somewhere in the studio. Grumbling incoherently, he opened the notification, to find… you.

Jimin’s mouth was hanging open the entire video. His eyes twitched the tiniest bit and he almost dropped the phone when you said his face was “decent”, but he had to watch it again, because the first time around, he didn’t hear a word that came out your damn mouth. He was otherwise… preoccupied. No matter how much he tried, he just couldn’t tear his damn eyes off the screen. Curse Min Yoongi for sending him this.

He even cringed when he had to bring his sleeve up to wipe the tiniest bit of drool off his face. Practically salivating. What the fuck? How old was he? He was Park Jimin, why was he popping a boner from watching some stranger on the internet dance to his songs? He’s been in the industry for way too long now, he was practically immune to scantily clad women prancing around him. So why he completed concentrated on your stupid little crop top? Not to mention, you were practically insulting him at this point. What was so special?

For one moment, Jimin forced his eyes off the screen, wondering if the sleep deprivation had really affected him that much, or if this was another side effect of the writer’s block he’s been having. It’s the partying ‘clean act’ ban Jin’s been forcing me to go on, he thought, even though Jimin wasn’t totally convinced of that. (Despite swearing not to, he looked straight back to down at his phone afterwards to reply the video.)

He was so fixated on the screen, he didn’t even notice when Yoongi flung the door open and walked inside. Jimin only lifted his head when he heard Yoongi’s obnoxiously loud groan.

“What- When did you get here?” Yoongi recently went back to a fan-favourite hair colour of his, and Jimin was still not used to seeing him with bright mint coloured hair. In his opinion, he looked like a highlighter, but Yoongi seemed to not mind it.

“I’ve been standing here for the past two minutes, drinking my coffee. The fuck you watching on your phone that’s got you drooling?”

“NOTHING.” Yoongi narrowed his eyes, and before Jimin could even move away, he managed to snatch the phone away from Jimin’s hands.

“What the fuck- how? You know, this is why your fanbase thinks you’re a cat.” Yoongi ignored his words with ease. “Oh my god,” He said. “Are you watching the video I sent you? I didn’t expect you to actually watch it.”

“I always watch my fan’s videos after a comeback!” Jimin insisted, clawing upwards to steal his own phone back, but Yoongi kept slapping his hands away.

“Yeah, but this isn’t a fan. This is just like, one of your fanboys and a girl roasting you.” Yoongi stared back at Jimin suspiciously when he tried to defend himself. “Why were you watching this girl dance like a starving man, Chim?”

“Just, because- what- I was nOT watching her like a starving man. Don’t look at me like I’m some kind of a pervert!” Jimin finally managed to grab ahold of his phone again, and he threw it behind him on the couch, away from Yoongi.

“Hyung,” He sighed. “I think maybe it’s Jin’s new ‘clean, good boy’ rule. Along with this stupid fucking slump I’ve been having these days, I just don’t feel great, okay? So don’t be so fussy with me. I can’t write, I can’t party… If I want to ogle over some random girl on the internet, I will.” Jimin cringed once the words came out of his mouth, but Yoongi slowly nodded, sitting down on the couch.

Min Yoongi may be a little too gay to understand Jimin’s womaniser ways, but the frustration behind not being able to write music, that, he understood. “You’re trying to justify being a perv by using your mental problems, but I’ll talk to you about that later on.”

“Chim, we all have our slumps. It’s honestly a wonder that this is your first serious creative block. Me and Joon, and every single artist in the world, is bound to go through that at some point. It’s not the end. You’ll still be able to write good music soon, you’re a good writer.” Jimin refused to meet Yoongi’s eyes, even if what he was saying did make a little sense. He just chose to stay silent.

“You just have nothing left to write about. You can’t keep living like this though, Chimmy. It’s unhealthy.”

“What do you mean, unhealthy? I’m perfectly fine, thank you.”

Yoongi stared at him deadpan, gesturing to the entire state of his studio. “It’s a complete mess in here,” He said. “Plus, I don’t think you’ve left this studio for days. The others may not want to say it to your face, but we’re all a bit worried about you. Stop forcing yourself to ingest all these redbulls to try to keep writing.”

“When inspiration comes, it’ll come. You can’t force it, it doesn’t work that way. What you need, is a break. Go back home for once, maybe visit your mom. And for god’s sakes, take a shower please. Trust me, okay?”

Yoongi doesn’t like admitting it, but he’s the most caring one out of their friend group. Anyone can tell from the look in his eyes right now, that he’s genuinely concerned about his friend. He’s also the one with most sense, but Jimin will never tell him that, because his advice, no matter how sensible, is useless.

All he’s known is singing, writing, and throwing himself in work. To just stop? Even if it’s to take a short break, it doesn’t feel right to Jimin. Instead of telling Yoongi his problems, he just poked his tongue in his cheek. If lightbulbs actually popped up above people’s heads when they had a good idea, a massive one would’ve appeared on top of Jimin’s.

“I’ve got it!” He said, excitedly. Yoongi sat up straight. “You’re going to take my advice for once?”

“No, of course not, Hyung. Don’t be silly.” Yoongi slouched his back again, closing his eyes.

“I’ll just hit this girl up!” Yoongi’s eyes snapped open.

“What.”

“Yeah! Who knows, y’know? Maybe I’ve been keeping myself to Jin’s rules a little too well. It won’t hurt the company if I let myself go just once. Blow off some steam, come back fresh and recharged.” Jimin rubbed his hands together like a bad Disney villain.

“It’s too early for this.” Yoongi whispered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“It’s three in the afternoon.” Yoongi ignored him.

“You really aren’t going to take my advice, huh.”

“Nope!” Jimin said, popping the ‘p’ annoyingly.

“You promised Jin you’d go celibate.”

“I said I’d clean up the partying act. I don’t recall taking a vow of celibacy.” Yoongi just sighed, and fell back down on the sofa, mindlessly sipping at his coffee.

Jimin hesitated. “You’re not going to… tell me not to? Or give me another one of your eco-feminist speeches again?” Yoongi shrugged.

“You’ve heard it too many times. Plus, I have a feeling this is going to be funny.”

“Funny? Hyung, what part of this could possible be funny to you?” There was a brief pause filled with awkward silence, before Yoongi blinked slowly.

“When she rejects you, of course.” Jimin threw his jacket, aimed straight for Yoongi’s head. His stupidly fast cat-like reflexes managed to dodge it, but Jimin scowled at him nonetheless.

“She’s not going to reject me.” Jimin walked over, picking up the very same jacket he threw at Yoongi, before plopping his sunglasses back on his face. “No woman has ever managed to reject me before, and I intend on adding her to that list.” He pursed his lips.

“Plus, she’s super hot. Great ass. Attractive people attract attractive people.” Jimin turned his phone back on once more to sneak one last peek at you in the thumbnail of the video, before stuffing his phone into his back pocket. “I just need to get it out of my system. This might be what I need to get me out of this creative rut!”

He could’ve sworn Yoongi muttered something under his breath, something along the lines of ‘fucking asshole’, but he chose to ignore it.

“Alright, well, see you, Yoons!” Jimin practically skipped out of the studio, startling the producer’s assistant outside with his slightly disturbing enlarged grin.

“Don’t come crying to me when she refuses to get in your pants, you fucking diva!”

Jimin continued walking towards the elevator, but he threw up his middle finger behind him.

“DON’T RUIN MY EXIT, BITCH!”

[taglist:] @notmontae97 @lucedelsole97

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chattegeorgiana · 3 years

Note

Not meaning to sound rude/offend(I’m truly not) but why post about USA politics instead of Romanian ones? Ngl I know the 45th isn’t the one true problem to it all (though he still fanned the flames) but after living with 4 yrs of T**** damage(lucky for non-USA people you didn’t have to live with that) it’s just good to have him out of the WH. Also it’s not just the president in charge, decisions are also made by the house of Congress, the senate, and surpreme court. President does have power, just not 💯 % or else it be dictatorship.

What is going on with Romania?

I do post about Romanian politics as well. It’s just scarce. The same way that post was scarce.

I don’t post politics all day on Tumblr or social media. I try to stay as much away as possible, because people are too invested into this to see that the picture is waaay bigger than Trump or Joe or any other politician.

The political system is an abomination of a system made to divide people to their core.

The political system has divided people and extremized them to their goddamn core and you guys think this is a joe vs trump issue.

Congrats, you just fell into their trap. It’s what this system is meant to do.

You think non-USA people weren’t affected? Have you heard about NATO? Have you heard about international relationships?

Don’t think that you lived in a vacuum and there weren’t ripple effects of this thing.

US is/was a world superpower. Everything the US does has ripple effects. The same way those other big players also leave ripple effects.

As for him being out of there, of course, I am not even going to say that it’s good or not. You guys should know better.

What I would say is that careful with the mass media, ya know? Because some of the words he had said, were true. Some related to China, for example.

How do I know? Because little Romania, a country u guys have no idea about, or better said, my little hometown has been under the effect of Chinese MO.

A single thing has stood to me out of all the limited things that I saw about Trump and your guys’ politics: how he manage to raise employment rates again.

How? By putting people back to work in the very factories the Chinese bought and then closed.

How do I know that? Because that’s the Chinese MO from Romania as well. From my very hometown.

We had factories of corrugated board (3nd best in the whole wide world), factories that gave the 2nd most purest water in the world and whatnot.

These were the very basic factories that sustained the local economy in my little hometown. Know what happened after Chinese business people came and bought those factories?

Everyone was out of job and my county became the 2nd poorest region in the country, because the factories were closed. People unemployed that had to just flee the city if they wanted to survive. Because those business they did with the Chinese were pure corrupt businesses.

My hometown is mostly a ghost town right now, run by local mafia who got rich after doing those businesses.

So you see, in some respects Trump was right. And I know he was, not because he said he was. I don’t trust a word coming from any politician’s mouth.

I know he was because I’ve seen it happen with my own two eyes in other sides of the world. All you had to do is connect the dots for yourself.

The media tried to paint him as crazy for spewing some truth.

So before you believe everything the media tells you about him or how you should think about him, try to detach a bit and do your own research.

I’ve worked in the media. My very first job actually. I learned there how the games are done behind closed doors.

Now, you’ll say I’m a Trump supporter or idk what label you will put on me. Because that’s going to be probably the easiest way to explain this.

Well, I’m not. I won’t support anything political in my entire life lol.

Trump said some truths, but he has some issues as well. He’s a goddamn narcissist and that’s what it was his downfall in politics.

Politics nowadays is shrewd. He’s not. He’s full blunt direct force. The perfect ammo for the system to paint him whatever they want to. In that respect he’s stupid and I would’ve expected him to be smarter given all the shit he pulled in the past.

Like the thing with the banks and taxes that everyone blames him for.

Do I say he did a good or bad thing? Nah. I say he did a smart thing.

He found a way to give people jobs, while in the meantime getting himself rich. He found a loophole, yeah. But it’s not like all those instances with him not paying his taxes were done on his own. Nah. He had an agreement to people in power.

I often wonder... Do people hate him for not paying his taxes or for not having first the idea that he had to make money?

Because in the end it’s all reduced to money. Because money is power and it’s what makes the world go round.

He found a way to grab power and be outside of the locks of banks.

Don’t you guys have those credits ever since you’re in school? That’s literally chains on your future.

You spend most of your lives trying to pay back the banks who lock you in an eco system that generates money to them, while keeping you in chains.

He just found a way to be out of those chains. Out of that wretched system.

Because you see, that’s the issue... It’s a system issue, not a Trump issue.

I don’t have the moral authority to say if what he did is right or wrong. After all, he did create thousands of jobs for people as well while doing what he did.

But are you guys under the impression that Trump might be the only one who did that? Lol, tell me you’re not that naive.

Those kind of people have armies of accountants around them to make the papers look good.

It just so happened that Trump probably disturbed someone.

Because at those levels there’s a looot of power play. I mean, it’s not like in the past they didn’t all hang out together.

Come on, tell me you’re not that naive. It’s a move done by politicians ever since they goddamn invented that wretched system.

And since you asked by Romanian politics, what I’ve just written until now about Trump, is the same thing that happens in Romania.

It’s a global phenomena. It happens in every country. Here it’s the same, lol.

They all used to hang out together, and then whenever the elections come they start being at each other’s throats, posing as if they’re the biggest enemies.

But then you see clandestine pictures of them dining together at a restaurant. Or not even that. Just them hanging together.

You know, when the media isn’t there to be telling the story they want to tell to the audience.

Because if you think that the media isn’t politically subservient, you’re OH SO wrong.

Told you my first job was in the media.

You know what someone I worked with told me about some discussions they used to have in the USA on some sort of workshops or whatever u called them back in the day?

That US media hasn’t been free media since the 70′s. And that Romanian press was still free at that time (this was a discussion back in the 90′s).

But, there will come a time when the press won’t be free in Romania either. That they will write under political command.

Well, guess what happens nowadays? Exactly what that person said. It started somewhere back in 2008-2010.

In the pandemic for example, Romanian government gave the media 70$ billion in funds.

Which makes me wonder, why would the media need something like that, if it’s not an essential domain, like we oh so started labeling?

But hey, they did it in the pandemic so they are now free of any suspicions because if they did it now, all they wanted to do is “help”, right?

To write good about the political party in charge, while admonishing the others.

Despite people knowing all too well how the games are played.

So at the end of the day, all I’m saying is before putting your trust into politicians, look around you.

Now that it’s Biden, you say it’s a senate whatnot problem. Back when it was Trump, everyone blamed just him, as if he was the only one in charge.

Which is it after all? Is it a single person problem or a problem of senate/president/everyone else?

See what I mean?

Anyway... I’ll stop here. I am sure this thing won’t be understood in its true nature so I won’t bother anymore.

All I know is at the end of the day I have my conscience clean, no matter what.

So yeah, hope that answered your question. Basically to sum it up in Romania it’s the same shit as it is in other countries, only adapted locally, ofc.

But it’s still there to divide people, at the end of the day, so that’s that.

#politics #us politics #romanian politics

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tea-with-veth · 4 years

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Q&A with Teahound!

It is I, the author of and as he fell (you walked away) here to answer all your questions. Thank you for reading and asking questions for me to answer! Slight spoilers ahead, so be warned if you haven’t finished.

S E Q U A L? Do you have any other fanfic plans? (This is the one the most people have been asking about, so I’ll answer it first.)

Yes, I do have an idea (who am I kidding, it’s a whole, insanely detailed outline) for a sequel to this story. It would be a longer story, and bring in a bigger cast, including the sleepy bois inc, Eret and Nikki, Tubbo, Schlatt, and a bunch of other characters you know and love. It would take place a few months after the events of and as he fell and would answer questions like “what happens to Dream when he leaves the forest?” “where does Bad come from?” “why is there a war?” “will George ever actually use those goggles I mentioned him having at least twice?” “Will we see more of Technoblade? (the answer is yes obviously)”

When will you write it/will you write it?

I’d love to write this, honestly. However, I definitely need to take a break to focus on schoolwork, especially now that finals are right around the corner. RIP. Also, it will be good for me to take a break from writing so I learn to stop checking my email every twenty minutes to see if someone has left me a comment. If I end up writing this story, it would begin sometime around thanksgiving break. If I decide not to do it, I’ll let y’all know, but it’s the plan, at the moment. In the meantime, I might do some one-shots, so keep an eye out.

What was the inspiration for this story?

Last summer, when I was watching the Minecraft Manhunts with religious fervor, alongside the incredible animatics (Toni Tonight, if you’re reading this, this might be all your fault) I went “this would actually make a great animated show.” I then proceeded to tell my completely uninterested sister about my idea for a 3 season anime that started off as a creepy thriller and then ended with the Dream Team coming together as a found family.

I never imagined that I’d actually write that story. But (and this is where it gets weird) I went to college. And I had to present a paper for my English class. I really love writing, and I was terrified that I wouldn’t do a good job. It gave me massive writer’s block. I couldn’t put a single word on the paper. So I decided to write something, just for fun, and share it with everyone on the internet to get past that hurdle.

And then it turned into a part-time profession and obsession and was a ton of fun. The end.

What is your process? Did you plan out everything before you posted this story, or have some sort of plan?

I’ve been writing with an outline for the last five years or so, and I don’t know what I’d do without it. I start with paragraph-long synopsis of the story, which I break up into chapters, and expand on whenever inspiration comes. Occasionally I’ll improvise things as I write, but for the most part I stick with the outline, even if it’s very basic. For example, for chapter six I literally just wrote “healing/bonding montage,” and listed a few words describing different moments, like “apple picking,” and “swimming.”

As for the actual writing process itself it looks like. “Sit down, say I’m going to write, check social media for an hour, write three sentences, cry, watch youtube, drink a cup of tea, eat a box of cheez-its, write four more sentences, go work on a completely unrelated project and be super productive at that, cry, check tumblr eighty times, and put off the rest of the story until the last possible second, or until I really need to focus on something else (aka, homework).

How do you write fight scenes?

Okay, I’ve received a lot of positive feedback on my fight scenes, which is super encouraging because they are hands-down the hardest things for me to write. I usually have a handful of moments I know need to happen, like, “Sapnap gets disarmed,” or “Technoblade gets stabbed in the stomach,” but the in-between moments are a lot harder. When I get writer’s block, I’ll watch scenes from movies I like (or Sad-ist’s animations) read battle scenes from other pieces of literature I like (my motto is “when in doubt reread green&gold”) or run around my room crying. For the final battle against Technoblade, I got really stuck, and ended up storyboarding the entire thing on two sheets of paper, which actually really helped.

The Question No One Asked But I Must Share: Is there a playlist for this project?

Yes! There is! I have incredibly in-depth reasons behind every song on the playlist because overthinking things is my greatest skill, but I’ll settle for listing them for brevity’s sake. Be warned, it is mostly Cavetown.

Plant Life by Owl City

Telescope by Cavetown

Lemon Boy by Cavetown (a classic)

Fake You Out by Twenty One Pilots

Somewhere Only We know by Keane

Home by Cavetown

How are you doing?

Thrilled, thankful, and over-the-moon with happiness. Thank you everybody, and have a lovely night. My inbox is always open, so feel free to stop by and say hi :)

#and as he fell you walked away #have a lovely night #teahound writes #thank you so much #Q&A

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soobiniebaby · 4 years

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Angels & Devils Part VII : Green Light

Tomorrow x Together Fanfiction

~ p a r t s : main post || prologue || part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 || part 5 || part 6 || part 7 || part 8 || part 9 || part 10 || part 11 || part 12 || part 13 || part 14 || part 15 || part 16 || part 17 ~ p a i r i n g : love triangle involving choi soobin and choi yeonjun ~ g e n r e : high school au | some social media au | some fluff & angst | childhood friends | love triangle ~ l a n g u a g e : English ~ w a r n i n g : contains swearing, alcohol, kissing (?) and may contain mature themes (angst, etc.) ~ a / n : This will be my first fanfic (go easy on me pls) and i’m just writing this as I go along, so bear with me juseyo The setting (place/country) of the story is up to the reader’s interpretation ~ s u m m a r y : What should she choose? Han Baby: the new girl with a troubled past MO Academy: her new high school Choi Soobin: student council president, member of the Ecosave club, volunteer at the Humane Treatment of Animals, member of the Honor Society, a vocalist in the Jazzed club, the school’s all around golden boy Choi Yeonjun: leader of the Dance club, star of the Jazzed club, the school’s it boy with a bad rep 5 best friends, 1 new girl, 1 childhood friendship, 1 epic love triangle? What will this school year bring?

“No?” Yeonjun asks.

B nods her head. “No.”

He raises a brow at her. “But you just nodded.”

“Yeah, I was saying ‘yes’ to your ‘no?’.” B explains.

“Wait, so you’re saying yes?”

B lets out a huff. “Yeonjun, seriously—”

The blue-haired boy laughs. “Baby, I’m kidding. Don’t worry, I understand. May I ask why, though?” He was genuinely curious. Was he expecting to get shot down? Not really. But was he expecting her to say yes? Kind of. When Choi Yeonjun asks someone out, he almost always gets a yes on the first try.

“We’re friends, you and I.” B starts, her eyes starting to dart around the shed as she continues. “And my best friend is one of your best friends. I don’t want to mess up our friendship group’s dynamic by going out with you and then being dumped by you and then having everything crash and burn afterwards.”

“What ‘group dynamic?’ What ‘being dumped?’ What ‘having everything crash and burn?’ How are you so sure that all that is gonna happen?” Yeonjun asks. He had to keep himself from chuckling and maintain a straight face, because as ridiculous as it all sounded to him, he knew that she was serious and he wanted to treat it seriously.

“If I go out with you and you and I don’t work out, everything between us will get awkward. I know Ningning’s my best friend, but the boys will definitely pick your side, so I’ll probably have to find a new group of friends to hang out with.” B explains.

“Baby, I promise you, we won’t end up like that. If you agree to go out with me, nothing will change. We’ll all still be friends. You won’t lose us.” Yeonjun says reassuringly.

“And how would you know? Have you ever dated someone from your circle of friends before?” B asks, raising a brow.

“God no. As attractive as my friends are, I don’t think I could ever see myself going out with any of them. I mean, Hyuka’s like a baby brother to me, Taehyun is too perfect it’s kinda intimidating, and Beomgyu just isn’t my type. I mean, I think Soobin and I could work if we gave it a shot, but I don’t think he’d be interested.” Yeonjun says jokingly.

“Yeonjun, come on. You know what I mean.” B says, letting out a small laugh.

“Okay, I haven’t. But look at Gyu and Ryujin for example. Sure, they weren’t in the same friend group, but they were friends and they dated, and then they went back to being friends. Friendships don’t have to crash and burn just because of a few dates.” Yeonjun says defensively.

“Yeah, okay, Gyu and Ryu managed to stay friends. But if things don’t work out between you and I—” B starts, until Yeonjun interrupts her.

“But what if they do...” he says quietly.

“What?” B says, unable to hear him properly.

“But what if they do? What if we do? What if things between us work out?” Yeonjun asks.

B’s quiet for a moment before slowly starting again. “It’s not just our friendship I’m worried about, you know. I just moved here, I’m going through a big adjustment period in my life right now, and I’m just starting to make friends and establish a routine, and I like that you’re a part of it. I like seeing you everyday, I like that we’re classmates for at least 1 period and that I get to hang out with you and eat lunch with you and the rest of the boys.” she says, and as positive as it all sounded, Yeonjun had a feeling he knew what she’d say next. “But I’m not ready to change any of it. I like you, Yeonjun, enough to at least enjoy seeing you everyday. But I’m not ready to do anything that could change how things in my life are right now.”

Yeonjun nods. “It’s alright, Baby. I understand.” he says sincerely, looking right at her eyes. She really did look sorry, but at the same time her eyes kept darting back and forth between his and the ground. He could tell she was being sincere, but it looked like there was something more that she didn’t want to say. She was fairly easy to read, but he couldn’t decipher what else could possibly be on her mind.

“So that’s why I’m saying no. I’m really sorry, Yeonjun. I like our friendship too much right now to let anything get in the way of it.” she says, her eyes meeting his.

“You like our friendship too much right now? What about, say, in 2 weeks? Do you think you’d feel differently about our friendship then?” Yeonjun asks innocently.

“Yeah, if you suddenly become unbearably annoying in the next 2 weeks, that could definitely change.” B says sarcastically. “I don’t know, Yeonjun. It’s not like I can see into the future or anything, but I don’t think anything could change how I feel about us in a span of 2 weeks.”

“Oh, I don’t know, Baby. Everything can change in 2 weeks.” Yeonjun says mysteriously. When B raises a brow at him, he just smiles at her with a glint in his eye. “You’ll see. Now c’mon, let’s get back in there before they come looking for us.” he says, opening the door and leading her out of the shed.

•°•

It had only been 2 hours since she turned Yeonjun down, but looking at him now, B was starting to regret it just a tiny bit.

The boys had been rehearsing in Soobin’s house for an hour now. They hadn’t really been singing or rapping as Taehyun hinted they would be. They were working on the choreography and mostly polishing their positions and transitions, and as impressively sharp and coordinated as they all were, she had to admit that she couldn’t keep her eyes off of Yeonjun.

The blue haired boy could dance.

Simply the way he moved made him stand out. His movements were completely controlled yet so effortlessly executed, as if dance were a language and his body was highly fluent. She could see now why girls would go crazy when they see him perform, and a small part of her was starting to regret turning him down, even though she knew it was silly. Him being an amazing dancer shouldn’t be a factor to take into consideration when deciding whether not she would date him.

But still. She caught herself staring at him more than she’d like to admit. It was only when Kai threw himself onto the carpeted floor and yelled “Water break!” when she snapped out of it and stood up with a jolt.

“I’ll get you guys water, consider me as your unofficial water girl. That’ll be 5 water bottles, right?” B says, volunteering. “Uh, I guess I’ll get them from the fridge…?” she says, trailing off.

Soobin laughs, wiping sweat from his forehead before saying “Alright, I’ll show you where they are. Come on.”

B nods as she follows Soobin out of the room and downstairs towards the kitchen.

“So what do you think of our performance so far?” Soobin asks. “I know I’m not the best dancer, so it’s okay, you can be as brutally honest as you want.”

“Soobin, you guys are amazing. If the choreography looked that good, I can’t wait to see what the singing and rapping will sound like! And shut up, you’re a great dancer.” B says, playfully shoving his arm.

Soobin smiles, a bit embarrassed. “Thanks. You’ll only have to wait 2 more days until you see the whole thing, so I hope you look forward to it.”

“You bet I am! I didn’t know Ningning could dance either. Growing up, he was very interested in singing and playing different instruments, but I never knew he could rap and dance as well.” B says, amazed.

Soobin nods. “The Jazzed club helped a lot of us with honing in skills that we didn’t even know we had. It definitely helped me a lot with feeling more confident about myself. I used to be insanely shy until Yeonjun convinced me to join Jazzed club. Since then, I’ve even had the courage to take on the responsibility of being Student Council President, which is something I never thought I’d see myself doing.” he says bashfully.

“Wow Soobin, were you really that shy? I’m glad you’ve come out of your shell then, you’re doing great as far as I can tell. I guess being in Jazzed club helped you a lot then.” B says, smiling at him.

“You wouldn’t believe how shy I was.” Soobin laughs. “And yeah, it really has. Are you interested in joining? I think you’d like it.”

B thinks about it for a moment. “It looks like a lot of fun, and you guys make it seem so amazing. But I have to admit that I’ve never really been musically inclined? Don’t get me wrong, I tried really hard to learn how to play instruments when I was younger. Ningning tried to teach me how to play the piano, but I just couldn’t ever get it right. The most musical thing I can do is sing, but I don’t think I’m very good at that either, and besides, anyone can sing if they try hard enough.”

“I’m not great at instruments either, but I sang a lot while I was growing up and it was something I enjoyed doing. Never in my whole life did I ever think I’d be dancing on a stage in front of an audience though, but that also changed when I joined the club.” Soobin admitted.

“I really can’t wait to see you perform. I’ll get a front row seat, and I’ll be the one screaming my lungs out.” B says, laughing.

“If that’s the case then I’ll make sure to dance my heart out. I mean, if you’re gonna be giving it all with your lungs, might as well give it my best with all my heart as well.” Soobin says.

“Looking forward to seeing it.” B says, smiling up at him just as they reach the kitchen. “Oh, by the way, we should probably post stuff for our creative writing project too.”

“Oh, sure. Got any good pics from last night? I think I might have one.” Soobin says, whipping his phone out.

“I should probably be the one to post something though, since you posted something first.” B says, also taking out her phone. “We should each have at least one post every week.”

Soobin nods in agreement.

The two continue to look through their camera rolls until B exclaims “Ooh, I’ve got one!”

“Alright, I wanna see it.” Soobin says, attempting to look over B’s shoulder to peak at her phone.

“No way, you’ll see it when you post it! Let me just think of a caption.” B says, shielding her phone from Soobin’s curious eyes as she types out a caption.

Soobin’s phone pings with a notification, and he checks it.

“Oh wow, I knew we took selfies together but who took this photo?” Soobin asks, transfixed. Were they really that close together last night? He had to admit that he wasn’t completely sober so the night was a bit fuzzy, but he didn’t realize that he had ever been in such proximity with B. Other than the moment she whipped cake off his face, of course. At the memory of that, he felt his cheeks start to warm up again.

“I think Yuna or Ryujin did? I’m sure it was one of them. We all airdropped each other all the photos we took from last night. There are a lot stolen photos, and most of them were highly unflattering, but this one seemed alright.” B says.

“Yeah, it seems alright.” Soobin says as he looks at the post again, noting how their faces were side by side, he could’ve rested his chin on her shoulder.

“Alright, now show me where the water bottles are.” B says, pocketing her phone.

“The what?” Soobin asks, his mind still on the post.

“The water bottles? I need to bring at least 5, which I probably couldn’t have carried all on my own, so it’s actually really good that you’re here. Now, where are they?” B asks.

“Ah, right. They’re here in the fridge.” Soobin says, walking over to the fridge and grabbing as much bottles as he could. “We’re gonna need way more than 5 by the way, so let’s just take as much as we can for now.”

“Alright, let’s go.” B says, cradling 4 bottles in her arms as Soobin pushes the refrigerator door close with his foot, his arms full of water bottles.

“Let’s go.” Soobin says, and the 2 of them head back to the designated practice room.

•°•

On Monday morning, B had to walk to school alone.

It was club recruitment day, and Taehyun had told her beforehand that he’d be going to school an hour earlier that usual in order to prepare for the busy day, especially since he was the vice president of the student council.

“Do you still wanna walk together, though? Or would you rather sleep in for an extra hour?” Taehyun had asked her through text the night before.

Of course, she chose sleep. As much as she loved walking with Taehyun to school everyday, she did not want to get up an hour earlier than she had to.

“Nah, it’s fine. I can walk alone. I’m sure it’ll be a busy day for you anyway, so don’t worry about me.” she responded.

Now, here she was, entering the campus alone.

She was surprised by how busy it was. Along the school grounds, several booths were set up, each with at least 3 people, calling people over, handing out flyers, holding up signup sheets. Most booths had small exhibits, music playing out of portable speakers, and some booths were even giving away snacks or candies to attract more people.

She was so amazed and overwhelmed by the scene in front of her that she almost didn’t notice Beomgyu approaching her with a polaroid camera and taking a quick picture of her.

“Ha! Gotcha, B!” Beomgyu says, laughing as he cradles his camera, waiting for the picture he just took to develop. Once it was done, he flapped it around for a bit before laughing and pocketing the picture. “That was a good one.”

“Gyu! Oh god, you surprised me. Didn’t see you coming. And what’s with the picture? Can I see it?” B says, a fist clutched to her chest. “Wow, so this is what club recruitment day is like?” she asks, looking around in amazement.

Beomgyu stands beside her and nods. “Nah, I think I’ll keep the picture to myself for now. And yup, pretty much. It can be pretty intimidating for freshmen and new students, but it’s all really fun.” he says. “In the morning we have the booths wherein people can check out what clubs are around, in the afternoon there’s the visitations so people can visit the rooms to check out what the clubs are like, then from 3PM onwards there’s the showcase in the auditorium wherein each club can put together a skit or performance to show off what they’ve got.” he explains.

B nods. “Wow, it seems so exciting.”

“It’s one of the busiest days of the school year, and it’s one of the hardest events to plan since it’s at the very start of the school year, so we were working on it even during the summer before classes started.” Beomgyu admits. “I’m part of 4 clubs, not including the student council, so it was a lot of work for me too. Especially since I’m the head of the Journalism club and in charge of the school paper.” he pouts.

“Aw, Gyu, it all looks great. You’ve done a great job.” B says, giving the boy a pat on the back. “Is that why you’re going around with a camera, by the way? For the school paper?”

Beomgyu nods. “Nah, these pictures are for my personal documentation though if I get any interesting pictures, I could use them for the paper. I do have a documentation team going around with cameras as well, but I like being behind the lens. Say cheese.” he says before quickly capturing a stolen photo of B once again.

“Gyu!” B screeches, caught off guard. “I better not see my face in any pictures on the school paper this month.”

“Don’t worry, I get to do final approvals for everything before each edition gets published.” Beomgyu says reassuringly. He smiles as the picture finishes printing and tucks it away in his pocket once again. “By the way, you interested?” he asks.

“In the school paper?” B asks. “Maybe. I write but I’m not sure if I’m any good at it, and I’m no pro at cameras either. I actually don’t know what clubs I might join.” B admits.

“Oh, maybe I can help you with that. I can walk with you for a bit, show you around the booths, try to see if anything interests you.” Beomgyu offers, which B gladly accepts.

“Are you interested in anything in particular? Got any hobbies?” Beomgyu asks as they begin walking around.

“Hm, I’m not sure. Got any clubs about reading? Or anything about animals?” B asks hopefully.

“For reading? I think there’s the literature club. That’ll be nice if you’re a fan of books and poetry and stuff. And if you’re an animal lover, you should definitely check out the HTA. That’s the Humane Treatment of Animals club. They’ve set up an animal shelter within the school and do a lot of volunteer work with animal rescue and stuff.” Beomgyu says.

“Okay, now those sound very interesting to me.” B says. “Do you know where their booths are? Can you show me?”

Beomgyu nods. “The council was highly involved in planning for today’s activities, and we had to approve of the booth layouts, so I think I remember where the booths are positioned. This way.” he says, leading them through rows of booths.

B could see then how much of a big deal extracurricular activities were at MOA. All the students seemed to be pumping with energy. She’d lost count of the number of times she had been offered flyers for different clubs by the time they reached the booth for the literature club.

The students managing the booth engaged her in a quick introduction about the club and their activities and had given her a flyer as well. Included in the flyer was the location of the club’s room and the schedule for the day. She gladly accepted it and put her name into the signup sheet.

“Alright, that’s good. Your first signup! Next stop, the HTA. I believe their booth is this way, right next to the—” Beomgyu begins, but he’s cut off by a shrill shriek.

“Baba! Baba!” Kai squeals as Beomgyu and B walk past the Art Club’s booth.

“—Art Club.” Beomgyu finishes, as Kai runs over from inside the booth, right to where they were standing.

Kai gives B a big hug as he joins her side. “Baba! Come check out the Art Club!” Kai says excitedly.

“Ningning, hey!” B says, surprised to see him.

“Wait you two, say cheese real quick.” Beomgyu says, pointing his polaroid camera at them. The 2 happily oblige and instantly pose, with Kai wrapping an arm around B’s waist and B lifting an arm up all the way to the top of Kai’s head in a peace sign, and Beomgyu pockets the picture once it’s done.

“Are you here to check out the Art Club?” Kai says excitedly.

“Ah, the Art Club. Of course.” she says, eyeing the booth. “I almost forgot that you were the president.”

“Of course I’m the president. My club’s the best club on the campus. Here, take a flyer.” Kai says, practically shoving one into her hands. “You too, Gyu.” he says, as he shoves one in the boy’s face. “By the way, what are you doing with Baba? I thought you were supposed to be manning the Journalism Club’s booth.” he asks suspiciously.

“Psh, just ‘cause I’m club president doesn’t mean I should be stuck watching over the booth. It’s all a matter of delegation.” Beomgyu says smugly. “Besides, I’d rather be walking around and capturing all the action than be stuck behind a booth all morning.”

Kai looks torn for a moment, like he wanted to abandon his booth and join Beomgyu and B, but he just shakes his head. “As much as I’d love to join you guys, I can’t abandon my booth. Not at the last minute, at least.” he says, pouting.

B laughs at the boy. “C’mon, Ningning, you’re doing great. Look, your signup sheet’s all full already!” she says, noticing the clipboard on the table.

“Don’t worry, we always have room for more. Here.” Kai says, taking the clipboard and flipping the sheet over to reveal another page full of free space. “Sign up, Baba! It won’t automatically mean you’re signing up to be a member, but it saves you a spot for the room visits this afternoon.” he adds, noting how hesitant B looked.

“Alright, I guess it wouldn’t hurt.” B says, signing her name on the sheet. She had no intentions of joining the art club since she was never talented at any form of art, but she figured it wouldn’t hurt to check it out, especially since her best friend was the president of the club.

“Yay, thanks Baba! See you later!” Kai says excitedly. “Where are you guys headed, anyway? Signed up for any other clubs yet?” he asks.

“We were headed to the HTA booth.” Beomgyu answers.

“Ah yeah, I almost forgot how much of an animal lover you are.” Kai says. “Their booth is right next door.”

“Yeah, I’m actually thinking of getting a pet soon, since I have my own apartment now.” B says. “Alright, we’ll check out the booth now. Later, Ningning!” she says, waving at her best friend as she and Beomgyu walk away.

“Are you really thinking of getting a pet for your apartment?” Beomgyu asks curiously. “What kind of pet would you want?”

“I like a lot of animals, I find them all really adorable.” B admits. “But I think I’d really want to get a cat, or maybe a couple of bunnies.”

“Oh, are those your favorite animals?” Beomgyu asks. “I’ve got a pet parrot, his name is Toto. You should meet him someday, he’s really sweet.” he says fondly.

Just then, they see Soobin standing outside the HTA booth, handing out flyers to people passing by. There was just one detail about him that caused Beomgyu and B to burst out laughing instantly.

He was wearing bunny ears made out of balloons on his head.

Beomgyu quickly snapped a picture with his polaroid camera while B quickly whipped her phone out to take pictures as well.

The sound of their laughter and the flash from Beomgyu’s camera caused Soobin to notice them, and his face instantly went red as he did.

“Gyu! B! What are you doing?” he wails, covering his face and turning away from them.

“Soobin! You look adorable!” B manages to say in between bursts of laughter.

“So this is how the HTA manages to get so many recruits every year.” Beomgyu says, amused. “Now I’m not surprised. Using you as a mascot is genius. No one can resist you, Soobinie.” he says teasingly.

“Oh, shut up.” Soobin says, his face still red. “What are you guys even doing here?”

“I was just helping B find clubs that she might be interested in.” Beomgyu says, casually draping an arm over her shoulders. “She says she’s an animal lover, so I figured she’d wanna check out the HTA, and now here we are. And here you are.”

B nods. “Yeah, Gyu told me that the club do a lot of volunteer work and even set up an animal shelter within the school, and I was instantly hooked. I really love animals.” she says with a twinkle in her eye.

Soobin smiles. “You’ve come to the right place, then. Here, have a flyer.” he says, offering her a flyer, which she gladly accepts.

She reads through the flyer then, her excitement to join the club growing by the minute. “Oh wow, now this is my kinda club.” she says. “Are you the club president, Soobin?”

“Yup. You interested? Wanna sign up?” he asks hopefully.

“Definitely! I’m already looking forward to joining.” B says, as Soobin hands her the clipboard with the signup sheet, which she gamely signs.

“Great! I guess we’ll be expecting you to drop by the club sometime after lunch for the visitations? The club’s location is on the flyer, so try your best not to lose it.” Soobin says.

“Sure thing. See you then.” B says excitedly.

“Hey, you two, say cheese!” Beomgyu says, pointing his polaroid camera at them. Soobin and B stand side by side and smile, but Beomgyu lowers his camera as he looks at them. “Okay, maybe pose a bit and say cheese? Come on, don’t just stand there.” he whines.

Soobin gives Beomgyu a look and B just rolls her eyes. She holds her arms out to Soobin and slowly steps closer towards him until her arms surrounded his body, and she closed them around him. He lets out a surprised laugh and decides to go along with it as he wraps his arms around her too. Slightly embarrassed, she squeezes her eyes shut and smiles. Just then, Beomgyu snaps a picture.

“Okay, that was a pretty good shot.” he says. He holds it up once its done developing, examining it one more time, before pocketing it.

“You know, that’s like the 4th picture you’ve taken of me this morning, yet I haven’t seen a single one of them.” B says as she steps away from Soobin. “Can I have at least one of them?” she asks.

“Nope, I keep all of the polaroids that I take. I’ve got a whole collection of them. I can print you out some copies if you want, though.” Beomgyu offers,

“Yes please, I’d really like that.” B says. “I’d also like to see your collection someday. Seems interesting.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to show you if you ever stop by my place.” Beomgyu says. “Well, that’s all the club you wanted to check out, right? Anything else you wanna do before lunch? Wanna check out other booths? I think Tyun’s managing the Debate Club’s booth, and Yeonjun’s probably at the Dance Club’s booth. We can stop by the Journalism club’s booth too so I can see how things are going.” Beomgyu offers.

“Sure thing, whatever you wanna do, Gyu. Lead the way.” B says.

“Alright, let’s go! See you later, Soobin.” Beomgyu says to the boy with the bunny ears.

“See you later.” Soobin responds.

“I’ll be sure to drop by the HTA later. See you then!” B says, giving a small wave before Beomgyu drags her along with him and they disappear into the booths once again.

•°•

“Hold still.”

“I’m trying.”

“Try harder, just hold still.”

“I literally haven’t moved since you started.”

“I said hold still, Baba!” Kai exclaims, trying his best to sketch her as accurately as possible.

“I am!” B says, smiling through her teeth. It was already after lunch, and visitations had already started. Her first stop was at the Literature Club, and it seemed interesting enough. They presented more information about the club and what activities they’d be offering for the school year. She was on her way to the HTA when she ran into Kai, who all but kidnapped her and dragged her into the Art Club.

She figured spending a few minutes in the art club wouldn’t hurt, especially since Kai had been so excited to pull her into the room. But then he insisted that she let him do a quick sketch of her, and B realized a little too late that it meant she’d have to stick around a little bit longer than she had planned.

It’s been 15 minutes since Kai had first told her to hold still, and she was starting to lose patience. When her phone alarmed with a notification, she was relieved to have an excuse to move. She sees that it’s a message from Soobin and she replies as quick as she can.

B locked her phone and put it back in her pocket, feeling much more better than she did a minute ago. She told herself that she only had to hold still for 5 more minutes, and she hoped that Kai would let her go once Soobin arrived.

Sure enough, after 5 more minutes of holding still, B heard one of the art club members exclaim “President Choi! What are you doing here? Are you looking for Hueningkai?”

Kai’s head snaps up from his work upon hearing his name. “Younghoon, who are you talking to? Is that Soobin?”

The art club member, Younghoon, answers “Yes, he says he’s looking for someone.”

“Alright, welcome him in.” Kai says, putting his work down. B sighed in relief as Soobin walked into the room. When his eyes met hers, he gave her a quick wink, knowing that he was doing her a favor.

“Hyuka, hey! How’s the president of the art club doing?” Soobin says, walking over to Kai and giving his shoulders a squeeze.

“I’m doing good, we got a lot of signups today and the visits have been going really well.” Kai responds. “And how’s the president of the HTA doing?”

“Stressing out a bit, that’s actually why I’m here. I need help with tracking down one of the campus cats. We were hoping to introduce all the campus animals during recruitment day but there’s one cat that we haven’t seen around in days. All my members have their hands full with the signups and visitors, so I was hoping I could find an extra pair of helpful hands here?” Soobin says, looking pointedly at B.

“Oh, I don’t know, Soobin. The art club’s pretty busy right now, too. I could ask some of my officers if they could help you?” Kai offers.

“Nonsense, your officers should stay here. I’ll go, I’m not I’m not needed here anyway. And I already had plans to stop by the HTA, so I think it would be nice if I could help out.” B insists.

Kai lets out a sigh. “Alright, I guess I’ll finish your portrait some other time.” he says.

“You sure you won’t mind? You can stay here if you want, I can try checking out the debate club if Taehyun can help.” Soobin asks innocently. Wow, he was good at this.

B smiles. “No need for that, I’m happy to help. I love cats anyway, I’m sure it’ll be fun.”

Kai waves the two of them goodbye, and they leave the art club together.

“Is there really a missing cat around the campus?” B asks, concerned.

Soobin shakes his head. “Nope. I just made it up. The cats and dogs in campus never wander far, so it’s easy to keep track of them all.”

“Wow you’re surprisingly good at lying then.” B says, impressed. “Oh, I can’t wait to meet them all! How many animals are there in the campus.”

Soobin just gives her a smile and says “You’ll see.” as they continue to make their way across the campus until they reach the edge of the school grounds, where a small cabin was located surrounded by a garden.

“This is another part of the campus that I haven’t been to yet.” B says. “Now, I’m really glad that you came, cause I don’t think I would’ve been able to find this place on my own.”

Soobin laughs and says “You’re very welcome, then.” as they step into the threshold of the garden. “B, welcome to the Humane Treatment of Animals, or the HTA in short. The club was established a few years ago when some animal-loving students noticed just how many cats and dogs were freely roaming the campus. They decided to assemble interested members, and with the permission of the school board, they were able to have this small area built within the campus grounds as a donation.”

“That sounds pretty impressive, it’s a good thing that those students took the initiative to do all this.” B says, staring at the establishment in wonder. Soobin leads her to the small cabin and opens the door for her.

As they step into the room, they’re met with the other members and officers of the club welcoming the other students who have signed up. And also, B couldn’t help but let out a little squeal as she saw cats and dogs all around the place, some were peacefully sleeping in random spots, some were rubbing up against the students and asking for attention, and there was one white cat that was right by the door as they walked in, and gave them a little meow.

“Oh my god, who is this cutie?” B says, instantly crouching down to examine the cat, who was rubbing itself against her feet. She offers a hand in front of the cat’s face, and the cat starts to nuzzle its face into her hand, which instantly makes her melt.

“Ah, that little guy’s name is Tobin. He’s the one in the picture I sent you earlier, one of my favorites. He’s very friendly, he loves to get pets and cuddles, but he’ll beg incessantly for food once he gets a whiff of anything that smells delicious to him.” Soobin says, joining B and Tobin on the floor as he crouches down as well.

“So if I join this club, I get to hang out with Tobin and all these animals every Friday?” B asks. “Count me in.”

Soobin grins at her then. “Alright, I’ll get you a copy of the official membership form. Have it filled in before the end of the day. All forms will be collected after the showcase this afternoon, so it gives everyone enough time to finalize which clubs they want to join.”

B shakes her head. “I have zero doubts in my mind that this is the club for me. If you give me the form now, I’ll fill it up and submit it right here, on the spot.”

And so he does.

•°•

B spent the rest of the time for club visitations at the HTA, getting to know the other members and cuddling up with all the animals under the club’s care. When Soobin announced that he had to go to the auditorium to do final preparations for the showcase, B asks him if she could tag along.

“I wanna make sure to get good seats, front row, right in the center.” she says, so Soobin allows it. Once they reached the auditorium, he went backstage with the rest of the organizers and performers, and she secured 3 seats in the front row, texting Yuna and Ryujin to come join her. The auditorium was already fairly full despite there being 30 minutes before the showcase started, and soon enough Yuna and Ryujin walked in and joined her.

The three girls start catching up, talking about everything that had transpired over the weekend, from Hueningkai’s surprise party all the way up to club recruitment day, which Ryujin and Yuna didn’t have much to do with since they had already joined clubs since they freshmen year.

They were so caught up in talking that they didn’t notice how full and busy the auditorium was, and it was only when someone from backstage announced “Please settle down, the showcase will begin in 5 minutes” did they notice how much time had passed since they started talking.

“Wait, there is one thing I’ve been dying to know all weekend.” Yuna asks with a glint in her eye.

“Oh, me too. I think I know what you’re talking about.” Ryujin says, looking at Yuna knowingly.

B looks back and forth to her left and right at the 2 girls. “Well, don’t just look at each other like that, what is it?”

The 2 girls give each other sly smiles before turning to B, who was sitting in the middle of them. “What did you and Yeonjun do during your 7 minutes in heaven?”

B could feel her cheeks heat up, remembering once again what she had been trying to push out of her mind the whole weekend. “Nothing much, we just talked, played 20 questions to pass the time. He was really nice.” she tries to say as casually as possible.

“Come on, you’re blushing like crazy!” Yuna says, laughing at how red B’s face was.

“Spill it!” Ryujin exclaims, poking B’s sides until she finally caved.

“Alright, fine, but promise me you won’t tell a single soul about this. I haven’t told anyone about this, not even Hueningkai, so if this information somehow circulates, I know it’ll be because of you two.” B says reluctantly.

“You know we wouldn’t do that to you.” Ryujin says. “We promise we won’t tell anyone, now spill it.”

B takes a deep breath and lets out a sigh before saying “Yeonjun asked me out.”

Yuna squeals in delight while Ryujin just smirks. “Why am I not surprised.” she says smugly. “So what happened? How was it? Are you two secretly dating now?”

“No no, nothing happened. I turned him down.” B admits, and that’s when Yuna and Ryujin actually looked surprised.

“What? You turned him down? Why?!” Yuna asks, completely baffled.

“He’s my friend, and he’s one of my best friend’s best friends, I don’t wanna mess anything up. Imagine how awkward the group dynamic would be.” B says defensively.

“But it’s Choi Yeonjun!” Yuna exclaims. “Oh gosh, I know I’ve had the biggest crush on Kai in like forever, but if Choi Yeonjun asked me out, I would’ve said yes in a heartbeat.”

“It’s complicated, I just don’t want to complicate things, is all.” B says.

“Yuna, hush, we have to respect B’s decision.” Ryujin says, patting the girl on her knee. “B, how did Yeonjun take it? Are things okay between you two or are they weird?”

“He seemed fine with it, he said he understood, and I don’t sense any awkwardness so far. I told him I liked our friendship too much to risk complicating things, then he said something about our friendship changing in 2 weeks, which I don’t really understand but I laughed it off anyway. I’m hoping that’ll be the end of that and that we’ll be able to move past it without it affecting our friendship.” B explains.

“Wait, what about 2 weeks? What did he say exactly?” Ryujin asks.

“Sounds like he’s got something planned for the next 2 weeks? Is that it?” Yuna asks, intrigued.

“No I don’t think it’s like that. I didn’t really understand, but he said—” B starts, but she gets cut off when the lights in the auditorium suddenly go out and music starts blaring as everyone’s eyes focus on the stage, the showcase starting.

The showcase was interesting and entertaining enough. Each club had an allotted time to present whatever they wanted to. The different sports teams held a short fashion show that showcased each team’s uniforms with each team captain making a short speech to announce tryouts, which earned cheers and cheers from the audience when Yeonjun, Soobin and Hueningkai were spotted strutting on stage wearing their basketball jerseys. The film club presented one of their latest projects. The photography club showed a slideshow of pictures taken earlier that day and the film club put together a video as a sort of highlight reel from the club recruitment day. B had lost count of how many clubs had showed their presentations when the announcer finally said:

“And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, an exclusive performance from the Jazzed Club, starring MO Academy’s very own Student Council! Debuting the club’s latest composition entitled ‘Boy In Luv,’ please put your hands together for Jazzed!”

The screams were deafening as the 5 members of the student council appeared on stage, wearing their school uniforms stylized in different ways.

B had seen them rehearse the choreography at Soobin’s house, but nothing prepared her for their performance.

Kai opened the performance, which immediately got the audience screaming. Next, Beomgyu’s deep vocals dominated the auditorium, and Soobin’s rapping was heard for the very first time, and everyone seemed surprised by how good he was at it, judging by the escalating cheers from the audience when he started.

But nothing surprised B more than when it was Yeonjun’s turn to sing as he was front and center on stage, dancing and expertly making eye contact with the audience. It was no surprise that he was an amazing performer, but what got B’s jaw to drop was when his found somehow found hers in the audience as he rapped the words “But, I’m going to flip the situation, from friends to lovers” and winked right at her before Taehyun took his turn.

When that happened, B felt her heart pound as Ryujin and Yuna each grabbed her arms and started screaming incoherently. She tried her best to focus on the rest of the performance, but all she could think of was Yeonjun and what he just did.

As the performance ended and the 5 boys bowed onstage before waving at the audience once more, B could still feel her heart pounding as she cheered along with the audience.

Kai and Soobin found her face in the crowd and started jumping up and down, waving their arms in the air with excitement. She waved back, cheering as loud as she could, and she could feel her heartbeat start to slow back to normal.

Just then, Yeonjun’s eyes met hers once again, and he gave her a small wave and a bright smile before winking at her once again. And just like that, her heart started to pound again.

“Looks like Choi Yeonjun’s got his eye on you.” Ryujin says in B’s ear.

B puts a hand on her chest, feeling how fast it was beating, and wondering what exactly it meant.

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