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#the example he gave was ‘what social media do u use the most’
apollos-boyfriend · 2 years
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i might post a survey for class in the upcoming days btw u guys better do it i need a good grade <3
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Hi! I love your posts, and I loved your most recent Malleus post 😭💕!! Reading through Chapter 4 of the Masquerade event also gave me Malleus thoughts, and maybe I'm reading into it too much but I do wonder if Malleus ever feels upset when his powers are described as destructive/monstrous :( Cause in this event iirc there has been instances of characters calling him/his powers monstrous and after that he goes like >:( or :(. But earlier when talking to Rollo he considers his magic to be something like a gift? So to have that be described negatively by others is kinda sad haha but it's also true that his powers can be destructive (as shown in the event).
I also agree on your point regarding what gargoyles mean to him!! I was so happy to see the gargoyle interacting with him 😭 It also made me ultra sad when the gargoyle lost its magic to the flowers cause the gargoyle befriending him probably meant a lot to him. The idea of an eternal friend probably means a lot to someone like Malleus 😭 and I also loved seeing Malleus powerless!! Most people saw him as invincible, so it's nice to see his weaknesses for once haha like him relying too much on his strength and failing to consider the consequences (eg Azul pointing out that if Malleus used his powers like he intended to the tower might collapse)
Anyways sorry for the long ask but I loved reading your thoughts! Have a good day :)
[Reply to this post and this post!]
UWAAHHHH HIIII ;U; I DIDN'T ANSWER RIGHT AWAY BECAUSE I LOVED YOUR ASK TOO MUCH AND I DIDN'T WANT TO GIVE A HALF ASSED RESPONSE ;A; but chapter 7 is coming and I need to at least grace this ask with my gratitude before Malleus comes in.
!!! First of all, I love that point you make about Malleus feeling upset for being called destructive. The game always had that narrative of Malleus being all-powerful, and it wasn't until GloMas that he was always seated on that pedestal. Even then, when the flowers sapped him of his energy, almost everyone continued to view his power as something so great, something so destructive.
It really surprised me how much I fell in love with Malleus saying to Rollo that he thinks his magic is a gift. Like ;u; that's now in my top 5 favorite Twst quotes. We've always been told Malleus is powerful, Malleus is untouchable. And when he does talk sometimes. The way he talked about his inhuman athletic ability to Riddle in his Union story and says that he doesn't really need an island companion to help him. I think that's a prime example of that arrogance (although he may have thought he stated it as fact, he didn't consider the social connotation). So when Malleus talked about his magic like a gift that he wants to share with the people that he cares about, it really touched me? 😭😭😭 It was such a humble response. It wasn't like, "No, I like magic because I feel powerful with it." No, he acknowledges his power, he knows about his power... but he considers it a gift, and he wants it to be a gift that he doesn't use to show off but a gift that he wants to share to those he holds dear to. It's one of the most beautiful allusions to a Disney media (the 3 fairies and their gifts to Aurora) and it was just so touching. 😭 And we have to take note that 1 in 10 people are mages (according to the Twisted Wonderland light novel), so being born with magic truly is a gift. And with such a statistic, mages would unsurprisingly be arrogant about having such a power. NRC people in particular are very individualistic and prideful and part of that comes with the power. But Malleus' view on his magic is pretty humble, and it's endearing. And not only is it humble, you can see that he values his gift. And to be told that the thing you value is destructive? That hurts.
Oh yes the gargoyles AHAHHAHA it's so juicy to think about someone's favorite hobby or favorite things and wonder why it is their favorite. Sometimes, there's just no rhyme or reason, and other times, there's a deeper story behind it that you don't know. I like that you point out the part about Malleus relying too much on his strength and not knowing the consequences. It really does come with being viewed as powerful ;A; when everyone's counting on you, you always tell yourself you have to deliver. It's such a heavy burden for him to carry, and the interesting part is that Malleus isn't aware that he's carrying something heavy on his shoulders. True, he's carrying the weight of a future crown, but he doesn't realize the pressure of not only being a crown prince but also a powerful mage. He pushes himself to be the person people expect, without thinking that he needs to take care of himself. Quite literally, he's going through the gifted child phase and sooner or later, he might go through the gifted child burnout.
In a way, I want him to go through what live action Maleficent went through: her wings being cut. Her wings were her pride and joy, it was a show of her power. And I want Malleus to be brought down, to learn and grow from being on the ground, before he gets his "wings" back and soars to become an even better person fit to rule Briar Valley.
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remcycl333 · 2 years
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hi beautiful! it’s ☹️ anon. im gonna follow the routine you gave me. i made a list of about 17 affirmations that i can pick and choose from and word them however, but ill loop the same 3 if i ever feel to lazy to rampage. i do need some of your advice because i will be leaving tumblr even tho i miss waking up and sleeping to your posts.
1. what if i spiral and freak out about if im doing something right? like for ex. i am worried about my wording because my desire hasn’t come yet or the opposite happened and i feel the urge to check one of your posts or overconsume. what do i do? i heard most people say “answer it yourself” but what if i convince myself of the wrong answer?
2. what do i do when i spiral? because i know i will, so what do i do?
3. i obviously struggle with comparison, so how do i deal with that? i filtered my social media to avoid seeing people with my dream life BUT when sad tik toks or pretty girls on tik tok pop up on my fyp. i can’t help but want to be sorry for myself, how do i deal with that? even outside of tik tok like real life if i see someone else with their bf while mine is thousands of miles away, how do i deal with that?
4. how do i take care but not neglect my 3D at the same time? for example, if im studying for a test because i think ill fail instead of trusting my ability to manifest regardless of the test. isn’t that contradicting my manifestation? because i used to fail tests or like assignments because i thought “id manifest it away anyways” and now im kind of experiencing the consequences of my actions.
5. how do i stop complaining about my circumstances and life and feeling sorry for myself? whenever my friend is like “ugh i wish i was pretty”, i CANT help but feel the urge to tell her i relate (after comforting her obviously) or if my family calls since im miles away and they ask how im doing and i start complaining.
6. how do i repeat the new story without lying? for example, if my friends ask me if my bf is far away. i can’t lie and say no he isn’t because they know him and they know he’s far away. or they are talking about how they feel sorry about him being away. what do i say? if i agree with them, isn’t that reaffirming the old story? do i just repeat over and over again in my head that he’s actually here with me?
7. how do i deal with depressive episodes while manifesting?
8. does the state from which you’re affirming from matter? like if im repeating affirmations, shouldn’t it just matter that im affirming rather than the state that im affirming in? because a lot of people say that if you affirm from lack, it won’t manifest.
hey love!! u can screenshot this post to refer to during your time off tumblr!! 🤍
if you freak out about whether or not you're doing something right, tell yourself that you are always doing everything right. flip the thought like you would flip any negative thought! and remind yourself it's not about the wording of the affirmation, it's about the intent behind it!!
when you spiral, try your hardest to calm yourself down and go on a self-concept rampage. for example: no, i'm not doing this, i am literally god and i know that im only doubting because my affirmations are working and my ego is scared. but im doing this for my own good and i won't stop no matter what! i am god, my life is perfect no matter what i see in my 3D, i will not be fooled by my 3D. i am more powerful than any negative thought i have and i don't have to fall victim to them anymore. i refuse to!
i get where you're coming from with tiktok. i used to have to take breaks from tiktok bc id see couples/pretty girls and feel bad for myself. but everyone is you pushed out. if you see someone you think is pretty, or someone in a happy relationship, it's because you've been focusing on being pretty/being in a happy relationship. think of it as birds before land/a sign that your desires are manifesting. also a little tool is, for example, if you see someone in a happy relationship just affirm something like "aww they remind me of my sp and i! we act just like that!" or if you see someone you think is pretty/has a feature you want: "omg, my [facial feature] looks just like theirs!" "my body looks just like theirs, but im skinnier!" "wow they're almost as pretty as me!" etc
something i do when i have to deal with my 3d is affirm in my head that i dont know why im bothering to do that thing when i know i have my manifestation. using the example you did, when i'd be studying i'd be like "ugh i dont even know why im bothering to study when i already know everything about this topic and know im gonna ace this test no matter what. im wasting my time studying when i know im literally guaranteed to pass"
i know it's hard not to complain, but you are not a victim to your own thoughts. you have to force yourself, even if it's hard. "i can't help myself" yes u can!!! u are god!!!! force yourself to stop. give a simple answer and then change the topic.
similar to the last answer. don't lie bc that will stress yourself out. give a simple answer and then change the subject. then affirm the opposite in your head. once is enough if you only said one thing to your friend!! don't start complaining. you have the power to stop yourself. no one can force you to talk about something you don't want to talk about.
the way i deal with depressive episodes is listening o affirmation tapes and focusing on my self concept. i also force myself to keep my mind busy. i read, or play a video game, or watch a show/move (not one that's depressing or heavy). and remember that you can still manifest even when you're depressed!!
you don't have to be in any specific state to manifest!! your dominant thoughts manifest. as long as you're affirming for your desire more than you're affirming the opposite/the old story, you will be fine!!
that just reminded me of another thing u can add to ur routine!! write a script that is everything you want your dream life to be like and read it at least once a day to remind yourself of your new story. this would be a great thing to do before you get out of bed in the morning!! u can write it in your notes app!
since you say u like to read my posts to motivate yourself, throughout your day if you feel yourself struggling ask yourself "what would rem do?" "would rem be proud of me if she knew what i was doing/thinking about rn?" "what would rem say about this?" etc. hopefully that'll be a good source of motivation/comfort for you!!
if you are doubting, spiraling, thinking of giving up, tell yourself that's your ego. i always do this, i tell myself it's because im so close to my manifestation and the universe/my ego is trying to trip me up. take it as a sign/birds before land. keep going keep going keep going!!
you got this angel, i know you do!!! i believe in your 100%! you are perfectly capable. make me proud!! 🤍
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tarobytez · 3 years
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disability in the Six Of Crows Duology; an analysis of Kaz Brekker, Wylan Van Eck, and the fandom’s treatment of them.
****Note: I originally wrote this for a tiktok series, which im still going to do, but i wanted to post here as well bc tumblr is major contributor to what im going to talk about
CW: ableism, filicide, abuse
In the Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo delicately subverts and melds harmful disability tropes into her narrative, unpacking them in a way that I, as a disabled person, found immensely refreshing and…. just brilliant. 
But what did you all do with that? Well, you fucked it up. Instead of critically looking at the characters, y’all just chose to be ableist. 
For the next few videos paragraphs im going to unpack disability theory (largely the stuff surrounding media, for obvious reasons) and how it relates to Six Of Crows and the characterization of Kaz Brekker and Wylan Van Eck, then how, despite their brilliant writing, y’all completely overlooked the actual text and continuously revert them to ableist cariactures.
Disclaimer: 1. Shocker - i am disabled. I have also extensively researched disability theory and am very active in the disabled community. Basically, I know my shit. 2. im going to be mad in these videos this analysis. Because the way y’all have been acting has been going on for a long ass time and im fuckin sick of it. I don’t give a shit about non-disabled feelings, die mad
Firstly, I’m going to discuss Kaz, his play on the stereotypical “mean cripple” trope and how Bardugo subverts it, his cane, and disabled rage. Then, I am going to discuss Wylan, the “inspiration porn” stereotype, caregivers / parents, and the social model of disability. Finally, I will then explain the problems in the fandom from my perspective as a disabled person, largely when it comes to wylan, bc yall cant leave that boy tf alone.
Kaz Brekker
Think of a character who uses a cane (obviously not Kaz). Now, are they evil, dubiously moral, or just an asshole in general? Because nearly example I can think of is: whether it be Lots’O from Toy Story, Lucius Malfoy, or even Scrooge and Mr.Gold from Once Upon A Time all have canes (the last two even having their canes appear less and less as they become better people)
The mean/evil cripple trope is far more common than you would think. Villains with different bodies are confined to the role of “evil”. To quote TV Tropes, who I think did a brilliant job on explaining it “The first is rooted in eugenics-based ideas linking disability or other physical deformities with a "natural" predisposition towards madness, criminality, vice, etc. The Rule of Symbolism is often at work here, since a "crippled" body can be used to represent a "crippled" soul — and indeed, a disabled villain is usually put in contrast to a morally upright and physically "perfect" hero. Whether consciously on the part of the writer or not, this can reinforce cultural ideas of disability making a person inherently inferior or negative, much in the same way the Sissy Villain or Depraved Homosexual trope associate sexual and gender nonconformity with evil. ”
Our introduction to Kaz affirms this notion of him being bad or morally bankrupt, with “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason”, etc. This mythologized version of himself, the “bastard of the barrel” actively fed into this misconception. But, as we the audience are privy to his inner thoughts, know that he is just a teenager like every other Crow. He is complex, his disability isn’t this tragic backstory, he just fell off a roof. It’s not his main motivation, nor does he curse revenge for making him a cripple - it is just another part of who he is. 
His cane (though the shows version fills me with rage but-) is an extension of Kaz - he fights with it, but it has a purpose. Another common thing in media is for canes to be simply accessories, but while Kaz’ cane is fashionable, it has purpose.
The quote “There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.” is so fucking powerful. Kaz does not want nor need a cure - its said in Crooked Kingdom that his leg could most likely be healed, but he chooses not to. Abled-bodied people tend to dismiss this thought as Kaz being stubborn but it shows a reality of acceptance of his disability that is just, so refreshing.
In chapter 22 of SOC, we see disabled rage done right - when he is called a cripple by the Fjerdan inmate, Kaz is pissed - the important detail being that he is pissed at the Fjerdan, at society for ableism, not blaming it on being disabled or wishing he could be normal. He takes action, dislocating the asshole’s shoulder and proving to him, and to a lesser extent, himself, that he is just as capable as anyone else, not in spite of, but because he is disabled. And that is the point of Kaz, harking back to the line that “there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken”. 
I cried on numerous occasions while reading the SOC duology, but the parts I highlighted in this section especially so. I, as many other disabled people do, have had a long and tumultuous relationship with our disability/es, and for many still struggle. But Kaz Brekker gave me an empowered disabled character who accepts themselves, and that means the world to me. 
Keeping that in mind, I hope you can understand why it hurts so much to disabled people when you either erase Kaz’s disability (whether through cosplay or fanfiction), or portray him as a “broken boy uwu”, especially implying that he would want a cure. That flies in the face of canon and is inherently fucking ableist. (if u think im mad wait until the next section)
Next, we have Wylan.  
Oh fucking boy. 
I love Wylan so fucking much, and y’all just do not seem to understand his character? Like at all? Since this is disability-centric, I’m not going to discuss how the intersection of his queerness also contributes to these issues, but trust me when I say it’s a contributing factor to what i'm going to say.
Wylan, motherfucking Van Eck. If you ableist pricks don’t take ur fucking hands off him right now im going to fight you. I see Wylan as a subversion another, and in my opinion more insidious stereotype pf disabled people - inspiration porn.
Cara Liebowitz in a 2015 article on the blog The Body Is Not An Apology explains in greater detail how inspiration porn is impactful in real life, but media is a major contributing factor to this reality. The technical definition is “the portrayal of people with disabilities as inspirational solely or in part on the basis of their disability” - but that does not cover it fully. 
Inspiration porn does lasting damage on the disabled community as it implies that disability is a negative that you need to “overcome” or “triumph” instead of something one can feel proud of. It exploits disabled people for the development of non-disabled people, and in media often the white male protagonist. Framing disability as inherently negative perpetuates ideals of eugenics and cures - see Autism $peaks’ “I Am Autism” ad. Inspiration porn is also incredibly patronizing as it implies that we cannot take care of ourselves, or do things like non-disabled people do. Because i stg some of you tend to think that we just sit around all day wishing we weren’t disabled. 
Another important theory ideal that is necessary when thinking about Wylan is the experience of feeling like a burden simply for needing help or accommodations. This is especially true when it comes to familial relationships, and internalized ableism.
The rhetoric that Wylan’s father drilled into his head, that he is “defective”, “a mistake”, and “needs to be corrected”, that he (Jan) was “cursed with a moron for a child” is a long held belief that disabled people hear relentlessly. And while many see Van Eck’s attempted murder of Wylan as “preposturous” and overall something that you would never think happens today - filicide (a parent murdering their child) is more common than you would like to believe. Without even mentioning the countless and often unreported deaths of disabled people due to lack of / insufficient / neglectful medical care, in a study on children who died from the result of household abuse, 40 of 42 of them (95%) were diagnosed with disabilities. Van Eck is not some caricature of ableist ideals - he is a real reflection on how many people and family members view disability. 
Circling back to how Wylan unpacks the inspiration porn trope - he is 3 dimensional, he is not only used to develop the other characters, he is just *chefs kiss* Leigh, imo, put so much love and care into the creation of Wylan and his story and character growth that is representative of a larger feeling in the disabled community. 
That being said, what you non-disabled motherfuckers have done to him.
The “haha Wylan can’t read” jokes aren’t and were not funny. Y’all literally boiled down everything Wylan is to him being dyslexic. And it’s like,,,, the only thing you can say about him. You ignore every other part of him other than his disability, and then mock him for it. There’s so much you can say about Wylan - simping for Jesper, being band kid and playing the fuckin flute, literally anything else. But no, you just chose to mock his disability, excellent fucking job!
Next up on “ableds stfu” - infantilization! y’all are so fucking condescending to Wylan, and treat him like a fucking toddler. And while partly it is due to his sexuality i think a larger portion is him being disabled. Its in the same vein of people who think that Wylan and Jesper are romantically one sided, and that Jesper only kind of liked Wylan, despite the canon evidence of him loving Wylan just as much. You all view him as a “smol bean”, who needs protecting, and care, when Wylan is the opposite of that. He is a fucking demolitions expert who suggested waking up sleeping men to kill them - what about that says “uwu”. You are treating Wylan as a burden to Jesper and the other Crows when he is an immensely valuable, fully autonomous disabled person - you all just view him as damaged. 
And before I get a comment saying that “uhhh Wylan isn’t real why do you care” while Wylan may not be real, how you all view him and treat him has real fucking impacts and informs how you treat people like me. If someone called me an “uwu baby boy” they’d get a fist square in the fucking jaw. Fiction informs how we perceive the world and y’all are making it super fucking clear how you see disabled people. 
Finally, I wanted to talk about how the social model of disability is portrayed through Wylan. For those who are unaware, the social model of disability contrasts the medical model, that views the disability itself as the problem, that needs to be cured, whereas the social model essentially boils down to creating an accommodating society, where disability acceptance and pride is the goal. And we see this with Wylan - he is able to manage his father’s estate, with Jesper’s assistance to help him read documents. And this is not out of pity or charity, but an act of love. It is not portrayed as this almighty act for Jesper to play saviour, just a given, which is incredibly important to show, especially for someone who has been abused by family for his disability like Wylan, that he is accepted. 
Yet, I still see people hold up Jesper on a pedestal for “putting up with” Wylan, as if loving a disabled person deserves a fucking pat on the back. It’s genuinely exhausting trying to engage with a work I love so much with a fandom that thinks so little of me and my community. It fucking shows. 
Overall, Leigh Bardugo as a disabled person wrote two incredibly meticulous and empowered disabled characters, and due to either lack of reading comprehension, ableism, or a quirky mix of both, the fandom has ignored canon and the experiences of disabled people for…. shits and giggles i guess. And yes, there are issues with the Grishaverse and disability representation - while I haven’t finished them yet so I do not have an opinion on it, people have been discussing issues in the KOS duology with ableist ideals. This mini series was no way indicative of the entire disabled experience, nor does it represent my entire view on the representation as a whole. These things need to be met critically in our community, and talked about with disabled voices at the forefront. For example, the limited perspective we get of Wylan and Kaz being both white men, does not account for a large portion of the disabled community and the intersection of multiple identities.
All-in-all, Critique media, but do not forget to also critique fandom spaces. Alternatively, just shut the fuck up :)
happy fucking disability pride month, ig
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itsallyscorner · 4 years
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Being A Singer Who Is Part Of The Marvel Cast
Pairing: Marvel Cast x reader
Prompt: What it’s like to be a singer who is also a Marvel actress.
Warnings: none! This isn’t really a teen!reader, but it can be!
Side note: I’m using Ari’s music, so just pretend you’re Ari or something😂😂 Should I write imagines about this?
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(Ya’ll already know I had to use my bby Ari😌)
(Gif from Pinterest)
Being a singer and joining the MCU was actually quite nerve wracking.
You weren’t sure if anyone would take you seriously and that everyone would just see you as some singer who got casted into the movie because you were well known.
In fact, Kevin Feige casted you because you represented the character you were auditioning for so well.
You remember your first day on set and how nervous you were to be surrounded by so many talented actors. You kept to yourself and sat by the sidelines while everyone reunited with each other.
I feel like Mark or Robert might come up to you first. They would probably approach you and be all like, “Hey! My kids listen to your music and I have to listen to your voice 24/7! It’s nice to finally meet you!”
Anthony would probably join in and be like, “Aye, I know you from the radio. You sing that one song that’s goes like, ‘I want it, I got it’. Right?”
After some introductions and filming scenes together, you’d feel comfortable with your new friends. Especially after some of them fangirled over you.
Tom (Holland) most definitely fangirled over you, I just feel it😂😂
A few years later they would become your most supportive and dedicated fans (and family).
They’re probably even more dedicated than your fans.
Whenever you drop a new single or a music video, expect them all to share it on every social media account they have.
Tom Hiddleston, who’s barely on social media, would come on just to promote your stuff.
@/ChrisEvans: Hey everyone! Just came to say that @yourtwitterhandle just dropped a new music video and you should all see it! You won’t regret it! Amazing as always @yourtwitterhandle 💙💙💙
@/RobertDowneyJr: The talented and oh so beautiful @yourtwitterhandle just released a music video for her new single! Go ahead and see for yourself to experience the greatness of (y/n)! I’m proud of you sweetheart!❤️
They would even share it on their Instagram stories and post about it because they’re so proud of you🥺
Sebastian and Tom (Holland) would probably post videos of them jamming to your song and yelling at people to listen to it.
Video: Sebastian with 34+35 blasting in the background, “GO LISTEN TO (Y/N)’S NEW ALBUM POSITIONS! DO IT! NOW!”
If you release an album while working on a Marvel movie, they would have little release parties with the whole cast and crew of the movie.
They will have a countdown on some projector and once it hits one everyone would scream and hug you. Then you guys would listen to the whole album with no stops.
When they see you writing in your journal during breaks on set, they would ask if you’re writing new songs.
Sometimes they would even help you brainstorm for lyrics or a concept for a song.
I feel like Evans would be really good at this because he’s good with words.
When they hear you humming something that doesn’t sound familiar they would ask you if it’s a new song.
Scarlett and Lizzie were always excited to hear your stuff.
“Oooo, is that a new song?”
“Come on, (y/n)! Can we get a little snippet please?”
“We promise to not leak it like last time!”
“Yeah! Neither Mark or Tom are here, you’re all good!”
Tom or Mark definitely leaked a few of your songs by accident. Not that they did it on purpose, they just recorded things at the wrong times.
When you sang they would always be quiet and just listen to your voice.
Whenever you hit a high note or sang something that was a bit sassy, there were always some reactions.
Chadwick would really listen to your stuff and just feel the music. When he’s done listening to a song, he would hug you and praise you on how good you did.
Anthony was always your hype man, whether you were singing or answering a question about your music, he will hype you up whenever he can.
“Mmm that’s right, sing it girl.”
“Damn, ya’ll heard that note?!”
“That’s right! Number 1 album in the world, baby. Get with it.”
“Ya’ll heard her right, five Grammy nominations. Gimme some.” He’d brag while fist bumping you.
Sometimes you would catch them singing one of your songs and you would feel all warm and giggly inside because it makes you happy that they enjoy your music.
When you guys aren’t filming and you’re off on tour, they would come to the shows that are in their city or whatever is nearest to them.
Sometimes you wouldn’t even expect them to be there and would be caught off guard while you’re singing.
For example, you were doing a show in New York and all of a sudden you see Paul Rudd just jamming to Thank U, Next in the pit.
“I know they say I move on too fast, but this one gon’ last. ‘Cause her name is— Paul?”
Whenever you guys are promoting new Marvel movies on morning/late night shows, you were always the musical guest.
They were always excited to see you perform. They loved to see you in your element because you always looked like you were having fun and so free. You always stunned them with your talent.
They could never wrap their heads around how you could sing and dance while having so much energy on stage, it truly boggled with their minds.
When they were asked about your music career, they would always say good things because it was true.
RDJ: “She’s just so talented. Like at such a young age, she’s accomplished so much! She’s writing music, releasing album after album, and on top of that she’s working on these films with us! I’m proud of her and proud to say that she’s part of this little family we have. We’re very blessed to have her.”
Brie Larson: “I wish I was like her at that age. I’m so proud of her, she’s a young woman just doing what she loves and not letting people stop her. I’m glad that young girls around the world have her to look up to. She’s going to do amazing things in the future.”
Evans: “Man, have you heard her new album? She really went all in on that one. You know, we’ve seen her grow up into the woman she is today, and you could hear that in her music. I’m glad that we got to experience that and have some kind of part in the legacy she’s building. I hope this means we get to have a musical now.”
Mackie: “That’s our little birdie. Yeah— we call her birdie cause she’s always singing or humming something. You could never have her or Evans together on set, they just burst out singing some random song and everything becomes a musical. No, but in all seriousness, she’s special. The talent she has, you can’t find that in everyone. She’s one in a million.”
They would be so proud of you when you finally win a Grammy or other awards for your music.
There would be videos of them reacting to the moment your name is called for awards like, Album of the Year or Artist of the Year.
When you guys have karaoke night, everyone would fight for you to be on their team.
You could’ve been your own team, but there was no fun in that.
You were like the last donut with red, white, and blue sprinkles (If you know where that’s from, I love u)
“Robert, she was on your team last time! You can’t have her twice!”
“Watch me, Evans.”
“Ayo! Hold up! Sebastian and I barely get to have (y/n) on our team!”
“You boys are childish! (Y/n)’s going to be on my team with Brie and Lizzie.”
Being part of the Marvel family was one of the many things you were grateful for in your career.
They gave you so much love and support as if they were your real family and you loved them all so much.
Even when their times with Marvel were done, they would still be there to support you no matter what, because they were your number one fans.
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More Divaz confos
Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.
1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.
~Anonymous
2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way
/s
~Anonymous
3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!
~Anonymous
4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......
~Anonymous 
5. RE: BJD Divaz
I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.
I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.
I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.
I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?
If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.
Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".
Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?
The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.
This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.
~Anonymous
6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.
My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.
~Anonymous
7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.
~Anonymous
8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.
PROS
-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.
-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.
-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.
-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.
CONS
-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.
-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.
-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.
All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.
Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.
~Anonymous
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clownkiwi · 3 years
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my long, long words about nuance that i doubt anyone will read (because wow this is long)
now that ive taken adderall and finally know the words i wanna say (like. ya know when ya wanna know what to say, but u dont know the words to say it with???), i guess i should make this clear. whenever i talk about a creator i don't like, my intention is to never "cancel" them, in the case that everybody thinks cancel culture works.
if anything, i truly dont think cancel culture is real. the names dumb and doesnt capture the nuance of what it really is: "holding people in powerful, high-ranking positions accountable for their abusive actions against others"
like, i truly feel like social media wasnt really designed for nuance like you'd hope it is. you could reblog a post with misinfo and believe its real because "it came with a source" but you never do the research for it, nobody ever wants to hold conversations. social media has come to a point where we just share memes, and thats what i use it for. there really hasnt been room for proper, nuanced discussions about drama that happens online
like, ok, an obvious example that i dont really like talking about: the unfuckable blog. while i was on the high of hearing the initial news and later news, i really didnt think that much about it other than it was hilarious and "just like sonic for real justice"/"sonic for real justice 2". i even posted a sarcastic/joking post about enjoying the drama from the sidelines as it wont affect me personally because im not a part of it.
but, taking a step back, getting off that high and thinking about it, it really isnt nuanced to say its like sonic for real justice because of the tumblr-specific drama that arose from it. if anything, its kinda more like the shitshow that was channel awesome in 2018- and that doesnt make this whole situation better.
with that said, "mod rhys is like doug walker" is not a nuanced take thats open for a healthy discussion. but there are some similarities i've noticed. the mods have left one by one, kinda like how the ccs from channel awesome all left one by one. there were only one person left at the end- in channel awesomes case, larry bundy jr, but only so he could keep the title "the winner of the channel awesome hunger games" (i dont remember if he left yet or is still there???). mod ruby, mainly bc she was petty and her host wasnt able to leave yet. and the fact that these were both real and not staged, not unlike s4rj, which as we all know, was staged.
and to let it be known, heres what i think about unfuckable at the end of the day. not every mod was horrible. mod rhys was a pretty bad leader at all this, leaving tantrums whenever anybody called them out and not responding appropriately enough to any drama, leading to a toxic workplace in the blog. all the other mods hate mod rhys now, i doubt they'll ever wanna confront mod rhys again after this. but mod ruby aint an angel either, as she prolonged getting the blog taken down and didnt help make the whole case better. and then, theres mod ted. which is another case to open up, but i wont go into now. with that said, i dont think anybody that has worked for unfuckable in the past are horrible besides the very specific examples i gave.
and, like i said, i never wanted to cancel the blog as a whole or anyone really. at most, i just want people to know information that are in callout posts and warn people about said specific person on platforms with a huge following. thats it, i never want to be that person thats just waiting for someone i dont even care about to get "cancelled" because i really dont have the creative energy to get all that excited for it. and yes, im making this a general statement because this can be applied for a lot of things im sure people thought i would "cancel", but like i said. i dont think cancel culture truly exists
like, god, if i reached 2k-5k followers, im sure there wouldve been people looking through my eight year archive trying to cancel me for something i did at a young age. like, "ooooo ruby said a slur on a scratch account when she was 10 & didnt know any better" or "ruby had bad takes about trans people at 16". like, i was younger then, i really didnt know any better
but also, im not perfect. im human, im capable of making mistakes, i think we all are. and the first step to fixing mistakes is realizing youve made them. and yes, even during the specific unfuckable debacle, i did not respond appropriately. i thought it was funny because i wasnt apart of it, i joined a server full of people who wanted to talk about it. and like, yea, thats not good, and that doesnt really help my case. and if i'll be honest, i doubt i'll get any responses to this because its very long already and i doubt anyone truly wants to have nuanced discussions on here, and i dont blame them
theres a reason why politics are banned in my streams, and its because. those arent fun or entertaining or enrichening conversations to have while i play a video game. same thing can apply to tumblr drama that shouldve really stayed private and not displayed out into the public, and just discussions about them in general on blog. i doubt people follow me for my takes on internet spaces, amd tbf, id rather not be remembered for making large text posts about internet drama from my phone. these are just ramblings coming from someone who wanted to put it into proper words in a post so nobody would get the wrong idea from me
i doubt i'll write anymore posts like this, but when i do, well, there ya go??? idk, idk what else to say, i'll just post it here and see it get buried under my reblogs of funny memes
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otomes-and-tears · 4 years
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hi 👀👀👀👀👀👀 i heard u got a lot of nevra headcanons and thoughts?? share them with us!! i'll give u a kiss!
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♦ Me talking about Nevra for way too long ♦
► tags/warnings: -
► words: 813
► a/n: Thank you Anon for giving me an opportunity to ramble about him. I do, in fact, have a lot of opinions about Nevra!
Also... I’ve been a bit busy lately, but I’ll probably have more free time to write next month. I’ve also had spent a lot of time on @marycecilyy ‘s discord server, which is a joy. So yeah! I’m not dead :p
► Masterlist
• I’m almost sure this is canon, but he’s musically inclined;
• He can play a couple of instruments and has a nice voice, though he doesn’t have an impressive range;
• Nevra hasn’t touched an instrument in years, but he’s always whistling some tune or humming a melody when he’s out and about;
• When Karenn was younger, he sang her old lullabies when she was upset. Not only did his songs distract her but thinking about something familiar would often make her feel better. Even after she grew up, if she’s upset he will still hold her and sing her favourite songs;
• He’s bi with a preference for women;
• My boy has a really weird sense of moral when he left Yaqut. It took him a long time to figure out what he actually thought was right and wrong and separate it from what he was taught;
• He still struggles with that occasionally;
• After the events of the first season... He starts trusting people way less;
• Nevra always struggled a bit with building genuine connections with others but ever since he lost those most important to him he just can’t let more people in, fearing they will also leave;
• He also became even more protective of Karenn since then, and Chrome by extension;
• Nevra has this womaniser, bad boy persona that he built as a way to protect himself and he doesn’t know how to fully get rid of it;
• While he can often try to pretend to be emotionless and distant he is a sensitive soul. Things get to him easily, but since he sees himself as a pillar of support in the guard (in s1 as the leader of the shadow guard and s2 as Huang Hua’s right hand man) and he knows people look up to him as an example, so he doesn’t let it show;
• Drowns himself in work to avoid thinking about things that hurt him;
• Doesn’t like twilight, but he has read it multiple times;
• I think he’s one of those people who really wants to understand why it’s so popular, so every once in a while he’ll pick it up and try to read it with a new perspective but ends up finding new reasons why he dislikes it;
• Ended up learning how to style hair because of his little sister and he’s decent at it;
• If he was in the human world...I can see him being VERY bad at technology and just being able to manage one social media at a time. He would probably have an Instagram account dedicated solely to pictures of Shaitan.
Thoughts:
• I chose Nevra right off the bat lol;
• Look, none of the Eldarya love interests were exactly my type;
• But between all of them, he was the one who caught my attention;
• I really like his first interactions with the mc;
• And when I looked at him i immediately pinned him as the “depressed character with a tragic backstory that hides behind a mask of flirtatiousness” love interest;
• which always have the most interesting routes;
• I’m still disappointed they didn’t give him a character arc. HE HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL!;
• I love him to death but goodness gracious that man did NOTHING on season one;
• I’m sure I’m not the first one to say this, but I’m absolutely sure the team had a completely different story in mind when they started writing the game but ended up changing the storyline once they decided to tell a darker story;
• And they just... Forgot to add his contributions to the plot;
• Or a character arc;
• Or anything other than just fanservice;
• But really, the little hints of a story that they gave us were so interesting;
• He came from a vampire clan?? They were involved with some shady shit?? He left with his little sister??;
• How old were they?? How long did they travel around until they got to eel?? How was his personality like back then??;
• What made him leave? Why doesn’t he talk about it?;
• Those components could make for such a dramatic, interesting story;
• I had faith they would do something with it;
• I remember being so desperate for some semblance of a character arc that I started theorising that he would eventually join Lance and Leiftan on the dark side;
• That didn’t happen, but now that I’m actively participating in the fandom and not just lurking I’m down to making this an AU;
• But seriously... Even with his lack of story, I still really like him;
• He’s charming and I think his interactions with the MC are very fun! I liked all the little details the writers added that gave him a little more personality;
• Like how he likes dogs and is a good dancer;
• His relationship with Karenn and how caring he was with those under his care;
• Nevra is a very sweet character and he deserves better!
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pacifymebby · 3 years
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I always lean towards messaging you when I have a catb thought Ik you aren’t my therapist but you seem to write and reblog things that I relate to and I feel like we’re very similar people anyway I’m so sad about how much and how fast everything has changed like afew years ago their music was my escape from reality and I could just pretend I lived this life that Was frankly mainly just romanticised and idk the fact that everything’s changing is really fucking with my head and I just want good old van back uno? Like I miss seeing their stupid little shit like Larry tied up on their Instagram it’s like now we don’t even have those little things that tell us that they’re atleast okay? I feel like I’m losing it abit after reading it had me so fucking emotional trying to analyse everything and figure out how they’re all doing and I know it’s my own fault for putting all this emotional trauma into their music and I’ve just lost it I’m genuinely nuts without putting all my shit into the next time I’ll go and see them Idk I had the best time at Leeds but it scared me so much to think that that was the last time I’d get to feel that feeling
Hi anon, you can message me whenever you want to about anything my love!!!
I think i know what you mean with this one because I've really leant on this band throughout my darkest times and I really have used them as an escapism thing. When I broke up with on of my abusive exes I was writing Oxygen and I used to use that as an escape from my life and live vicariously through my characters. I think catfish, especially when they first started, were such happy go lucky lads and their social media presence was just funny, it made me laugh and picked me up and gave me something to smile at that was just daft.
I used to listen to the balcony when I was feeling low because it always raised my spirits. I remember being so excited when the ride came out and then being secretly excited for the balance. I remember longshot would play on the radio at work when I was super stressed and I would turn the radio up and sing along and it would just make me feel that little bit lighter. Light enough to get through the rest of the shift.
And I understand what you're saying when you say that it's scary thinking that Leeds might be your last time ever feeling that way but believe me it won't be.
I still personally don't think they will split up, but I know that if they do, you will still get that joy and that release and that comfort from their songs and the old videos and everything. I remember being devestated when my chemical romance split up, thinking that it would ruin everything for me, but it didn't and years later I still fall back on thst band when I'm in a bad place.
It'll be the same with catfish. Its a shame how they don't communicate so much anymore but I think, we have the old videos and the old interviews and we still have Bondy when he resurfaces from time to time.
I think that although things feel very strange and sad now and like stuff might be coming to an end I think it's more likely that it's the end of an era rather than the end of everything u know?
Maybe they will leave those three albums like a trilogy and the stuff they make next will be different, or maybe they just need a break and some rest, or maybe they want to keep making music but they don't want the responsibility of fame (the killers are a good example of this I think, like they gig they release albums but shit u see nothing from them in terms of casual content) and idk, I think what am trying to say anon is don't lose all hope and don't panic.
You'll always have the albums and the interviews, the video diaries and all the dumb shit on their instas. And I think, they'll keep going in one way or another, I just think this is what happens to most bands who hit their 30s,they just calm down and grow up don't they. They're not teenagers anymore and maybe they don't feel as sociable and as lary and as much like they want to be in the limelight anymore.
Even oasis mellowed didn't they.
Idk anyway I feel am just ranting now but message me again whenever you like love. I'm glad you had such a good time seeing catfish, I hope u get to treasure that memory forever x
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sotorubio · 4 years
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okay well what do you think the writers wanted to get out of those chats? what reaction were they expecting? the writers know what they were doing. they specifically didnt name any names (it would have saved them backlash if they just said ava) viewers know that fatou has yet to reconile with ava and kieu my. of course fans are going to speculate the gesture for her love interest because they mentioned “romantic” “josh” and worrying about what to wear. i get that you can organize dates with your friends! that is totally normal and should be shown on tv. i understand that part, but people have every right to get mad when the chats were made to be misleading. not to mention the bot sending the link with 💫 as if that isnt a kieutou thing, esp since fatou sent that emoji in response to kieu my’s ⚡️
okay first of all msjfldjdkd i think some of u take the texts & other social media a bit too seriously analyzing emojis n all they're just extra content for us to make it feel more real but second have u ever watched a tv show before?
u were so close if u had thought abt it a little more u would've made it 😭 "they specifically didn't name any names" yeah... bc they wanted us to be surprised. n the fact that they did Not name any names should've been ur first clue that it might not be kieu my. "viewers know that fatou has yet to reconcile with ava and kieu my" that's ur second clue that there r two possibilities n the writers r letting us play w the idea on our own.
a lot of ppl guessed ava before the clip dropped, that guess was made based on the two examples above + the fact that kieu my literally told fatou to stay away from her so ppl started to think it'd be weird for her to make a big gesture for kieu my. so what if it had been for kieu my? would u call it bad writing bc other ppl guessed ava based on the clues the writers gave us?
the ppl who thought it was kieu my made their guess based on the same clues so how is it bad writing when that side turn out to have been wrong but would be good writing if the other side had been wrong? that makes no sense it just proves that ppl r only angry bc they were expecting smth that druck never even promised...
again there's nothing shameful abt guessing wrong, i myself guessed wrong at first, it doesn't mean that u r stupid it just means u picked the wrong option out of the two that the show intentionally gave u. this is a plot twist some ppl saw coming, some didn't + the planning was going on on social media, not on screen so if u r a casual viewer u wouldn't even know there was a whole possibility of it going any other way n in the end the writing that shows on screen is the one u should judge
just to make it more clear so for example if u r watching a murder mystery n there r multiple suspects. there's always that one guy who's at the wrong place at the wrong time n he's the most obvious suspect but it's never gonna be them bc the whole point of it is suspense n making u doubt it. if u think that based on the texts "of course it's gonna be the romantic interest" but they suspiciously never state that explicitly by mentioning kieu my by name maybe u should doubt the most obvious answer. bc that's just a normal writing technique tv shows use for plot twists.... they paint u a picture but also give u a context & clues that can make u question it & not believe it
u said the writers knew what they were doing yeah exactly. they knew how they can surprise their audience that's their job omg?
like smfjfkshhfks when u watch og s3 n the whole time the girls think isak has a crush on eva do u go OMG THAT WAS SO MISLEADING!! BAD WRITING!! when it's revealed he's gay??? i beg that u guys put this into context & realize the only thing that makes this plot twist different from others is the fact that u personally didn't like the outcome. as i said there r other things to criticize in the season it's not perfect but this rly isn't it.
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evansfm · 3 years
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𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 –– 𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 .
every  morning  evan  woke  up  to  a  london  sky  that  refused  to  let  the  sun  in  ;  summer  was  drier  than  spring  ,  but  the  clouds  seemed  to  linger  year  round  .  .  .  not  that  she  minded  .  she  had  ,  after  all  ,  grown  up  in  county  dublin  ,  where  things  were  always  a  bit  damp  .  still  ,  the  lack  of  COLOR  could  be  draining  .  .  .  so  she  searched  for  it  in  unexpected  places  ,  creating  little  pockets  of  color  for  herself  in  a  rather  grayscale  world  .  golden  lights  strung  on  her  balcony  ,  isla’s  bright  red  hair  and  matching  smile  ,  an  array  of  bright  letters  boasting  NME  lining  a  wall  ––  covers  from  past  decades  ,  a  rainbow  rubik’s  cube  next  to  her  keyboard  ,  two  framed  photographs  perched  on  her  desk  .  the  first  seemed  like  forever  ago  ,  a  beaming  eloise  with  a  twin  on  either  side  ;  beck  on  the  left  ,  evan  on  the  right  ,  both  planting  kisses  on  her  cheek  one  valentine’s  day  years  and  years  ago  .  the  second  was  more  recent  ,  backstage  at  a  show  in  galway  ;  kieran  sat  in  his  chair  with  his  fingers  intertwined  with  evan’s  as  she  draped  her  arms  over  his  shoulders  from  behind  ,  chin  resting  on  top  of  his  curls  and  a  smile  that  looked  SOFT  compared  to  the  goofy  one  ruairi  wore  ,  looming  behind  her  with  his  chin  on  her  head  .  she  felt  warmth  every  t​​ime  she  looked  at  them  ,  but  there  was  always  a  tug  in  her  stomach  .  .  .  the  undeniable  feeling  of  something  missing  .  she  found  her  little  pockets  of  color  ,  but  they  still  seemed  muted  w​​ithout  the  people  she  loved  ––  the  PERSON  she  loved  .
their  schedules  had  begun  to  clash  ––  and  evan  hated  the  way  she  was  beginning  to  get  used  to  the  dull  ache  of  his  absence  .  distance  had  been  a  part  of  their  relationship  for  months  ,  but  the  time  zones  were  killing  her  .  they  couldn’t  always  make  time  for  hours  wasted  away  on  facetime  ;  she  couldn’t  always  fall  asleep  to  the  sound  of  his  voice  on  the  other  end  of  the  line  .  they  were  both  where  they  were  supposed  to  be  ,  chasing  their  dreams  together  ,  separately  .  .  .  but  evan  was  beginning  to  wonder  if  the  path  she  was  on  ––  the  desk  ,  the  deadlines  ,  the  distance  ––  was  actually  what  she  WANTED  .  there  was  a  lack  of  creative  control  at  nme  ;  she  was  a  part  of  a  greater  whole  ,  confined  to  a  desk  when  she  wasn’t  out  in  the  field  .  she  felt  restless  .  .  .  bored  ,  almost  .  and  with  her  most  recent  deadline  met  and  a  job  of  her  own  ––  evan  connely  ,  sans  nme  ––  waiting  at  the  end  of  the  week  ,  she  was  distracted  .  
“  WHAT  are  you  doing  ?  ”  isla  popped  up  behind  her  ,  coming  out  of  nowhere  to  look  over  her  shoulder  .
“  jesus  ,  ”  evan  startled  ,  nearly  dropping  the  plastic  puzzle  in  her  hand  ,  “  where  t’e  fuck  did  you  come  from  ?  ”
“  charlotte’s  office  .  answer  my  question  .  ”
“  playing  wit’  a  toy  ,  ”  she  held  up  the  half  solved  rubik’s  cube  ,  then  let  out  an  audible  sigh  as  isla  looked  unimpressed  ,  then  jutted  her  chin  towards  the  computer  screen  ,  “  trying  to  put  together  a  mood  board  for  t’is  gig  i’ve  got  wit’  saint  valentine  on  friday  .  ”
perfectly  shaped  auburn  brows  raised  ,  “  we  got  saint  valentine  ?  ”
“  no  ,  ”  evan’s  lips  lifted  into  the  faintest  smirk  ,  “  i  got  saint  valentine  .  ”
“  you’re  bloody  joking  .  shut  UP  ,  ”  isla  gasped  ,  rounding  to  her  side  of  the  table  desk  ,  just  to  roll  her  chair  around  ,  “  and  you  didn’t  fucking  tell  me  ?  ”
“  no  ,  because  you  couldn’t  keep  a  secret  if  you  tried  .”
“  well  that’s  because  it  shouldn’t  be  a  fucking  secret  ,  ev  .  this  is  fantastic  ,  ”  hazel  eyes  widened  with  excitement  ,  “  so  you’re  shooting  them  for  ––  .  .  .  ”
“  t’ey  weren’t  too  explicit  about  it  .  i  know  for  certain  i’m  covering  bot’  shows  at  t’e  o2  ,  documenting  t’e  whole  thing  from  t’e  moment  they  get  there  ,  ”  evan  huffed  a  curl  away  from  her  face  ,  nodding  to  the  screen  ,  “  and  t’en  a  shoot  on  site  at  t’e  venue  .  so  i’ve  got  to  work  wit’  what  i’ve  got  .  i’ve  got  ONE  chance  here  ,  and  nicky  haven  scares  t’e  absolute  fuck  out’a  me  ,  so  i  can’t  blow  it  .  ”
“  nicky  haven  scares  EVERYONE  .  it’s  part  of  h​​is  charm  ,  ”  isla  leaned  in  ,  ma​​king  herself  perfectly  comfortable  in  evan’s  space  as  she  took  the  mouse  and  began  clicking  through  different  ideas  opened  on  photoshop  ,  “  let’s  see  what  you’ve  got  so  far  ––  .  .  .  ”
“  isla  ,  it’s  not  a  big  deal  .  really  i  shouldn’t  even  be  working  on  t’is  HERE  ,  right  now  .  it’s  not  exactly  nme  related  stuff  ,  you  kn––  ”
“  i  TOLD  you  she  was  here  today  ,  ”  a  girl  called  sophie  ,  who  manned  nme’s  front  desk  in  the  mornings  ,  materialized  on  the  other  side  of  evan’s  desk  .  a  junior  writer  ,  andrew  ,  was  hot  on  her  heels  .
“  soph  ,  now  really  probably  isn’t  the  best  time  and  it  really  isn’t  your  busi––  ”
“  someone’s  got  to  show  her  ,  ”  sophie  was  ,  admittedly  ,  obnoxious  .  and  coming  from  EVAN  ,  that  was  a  feat  .
“  show  WHAT  to  WHO  ?  ”  isla’s  voice  changed  in  tone  ,  taking  on  a  hint  of  authority  as  she  looked  at  andrew  ,  “  aren’t  you  meant  to  be  doing  some  social  media  research  right  now  ?  ”
“  i  WAS  ,  but  ––  ”
“  but  we’ve  found  something  that  evan  HAS  to  see  ,  ”  sophie  .  again  .
“  we  ?  ”
“  ME  ?  ”  evan  said  in  tandem  with  isla  ,  brows  lifting  as  she  clicked  the  final  piece  into  place  on  the  cube  .  she  glanced  over  at  isla  and  felt  a  strange  twist  in  her  stomach  when  she  saw  the  redhead  had  gone  rigid  .
“  is  this  about  ––  ”
“  rebecca  stringer  ,  ”  andrew  nodded  solemnly  ,  as  though  evan  was  supposed  to  know  who  the  hell  THAT  was  .
“  better  known  as  BEX  ,  ”  sophie  added  .
it  was  evan’s  turn  to  go  rigid  .  her  back  straightened  ,  and  it  felt  like  ice  had  just  been  shot  through  her  veins  .  truth  be  told  ,  she  was  more  worried  about  conflicting  schedules  lately  .  .  .  not  the  way  bex  sing-songed  a  shortened  version  of  kieran’s  name  .  .  .  or  the  way  she  answered  his  phone  and  simply  couldn’t  remember  who  evan  was  .  .  .  or  the  way  she’d  made  sure  evan  could  hear  her  promise  to  personally  deliver  kieran  to  his  hotel  room  that  first  night  in  los  angeles  .  it  wasn’t  exactly  PLEASANT  being  reminded  of  the  instinct  that  she’d  shut  down  ,  intuition  telling  her  something  wasn’t  quite  right  there  .  her  brows  pinched  together  as  the  rubik’s  cube  slid  from  one  hand  to  the  other  and  back  .  she  glanced  over  at  isla  with  a  prompting  look  .
“  we’re  .  .  .  doing  a  piece  about  nepotism  babies  in  the  industry  ,  and  she’s  a  PERFECT  example  of  one  so  i  was  having  andrew  look  into  the  way  she  interacts  with  fans  and  her  socials  and  what  not  .  she’s  one  of  like  TEN  people  we’re  look​​ing  into  ,  ”  she  explained  with  an  apologetic  look  .  it  was  then  that  she  turned  a  sharp  eye  to  andrew  and  sophie  ,  “  don’t  know  what  THAT  has  to  do  with  evan  ,  though  .  ”
“  see  for  yourself  .  ”
“  SOPHIE  .  ”
“  what  ?  it  probably  isn’t  even  new  information  for  her  ,  ”  she  shrugged  ,  reaching  over  two  monitors  to  hand  evan  a  phone  .  twitter  was  opened  to  a  profile  with  bex’s  beaming  face  in  the  icon  ,  but  the  handle  wasn’t  hers  .  she  gave  the  pair  of  them  a  skeptical  look  before  glancing  over  at  isla  who  only  offered  a  half  -  hearted  shrug  .  it  didn’t  take  long  to  see  what  ,  exactly  ,  sophie  had  been  talking  about  ,  a  slew  of  tweets  and  retweets  .
bexupdates  :  bex  &  kieran  pulled  up  to  the  venue  together  .  .  .  and  then  left  at  the  same  time  .  why  are  they  lowkey  so  cute  annathefound  :  not  bex  wearing  a  baby  tee  version  of  the  found’s  merch  .  .  .  stanning  her  boyfriend  just  like  the  rest  of  us  
ruairidailyposts  :  ok  wait  are  evan  &  kieran  even  dating  anymore  bc  i  could  be  down  with  a  bex  &  kieran  moment  cheerupbailey  :  @ruairidailyposts  you  know  two  people  can  have  a  relationship  without  posting  about  it  right  ???  they’re  in  separate  countries  rn  lol
babybexxx  :  i  just  think  that  bex  &  kieran  walsh  as  a  power  couple  .
bxhq  :  no  offense  but  bex  is  simply  so  much  better  for  him  than  some  rando  from  ireland  like  what thefoundupdates  :  @bxhq  babes  they  LITERALLY  grew  up  together  ????
totallyconan  :  be  honest  do  u  guys  think  the  reason  evan  isn’t  on  tour  with  them  is  bc  they’re  not  together  anymore  like  she  literally  never  misses  shows
adamfitzupdates :  why  are  y’all  so  obsessed  with  a  relationship  that  doesn’t  concern  you  ???  chill bexlevitates  :  @adamfitzupdates  bc  it’s  weird  that  evan  knew  him  for  so  long  and  only  started  dating  him  AFTER  the  found  started  to  get  big  like  that’s  shady
bexupdates  :  find  someone  who  looks  at  u  the  way  bex  looks  at  kieran  on  stage  wtf  did  y’all  see  that
newruleshq  :  no  waaaay  this  man  has  a  gf  when  he  and  bex  look  so  good  next  to  each  other  LMAO  
thefoundupdates  :  according  to  the  girl  who  wrote  the  article  kieran  literally  WALKED  OUT  on  the  interview  ???  rockstar  behavior  but  also  hope  he’s  ok
evan  could’ve  kept  scrolling  for  hours  as  her  heart  rate  began  to  rise  and  rise  .  the  crease  between  her  brows  deepened  ,  and  she  reminded  herself  of  everything  she  knew  to  be  true  .  kieran  LOVED  her  .  twitter  was  a  BRUTAL  place  .  it  was  as  though  the  worst  parts  of  her  subconscious  had  come  to  life  in  280  characters  or  less  .  her  head  began  to  swim  as  her  heart  sank  into  her  stomach  .
“  what  does  t’is  ––  .  .  .  ”  her  voice  cracked  ,  and  she  cleared  her  throat  ,  finally  looking  up  from  the  phone  screen  ,  “  why  ,  exactly  ,  are  you  showing  me  this  ?  ”  
sophie  looked  as  though  she  was  shocked  by  evan’s  question  ,  “  because  i’ve  dated  musicians  .  .  .  and  like  HALF  of  those  are  in  bex’s  likes  .  which  are  public  ,  by  the  way  .  just  doesn’t  seem  subtle  to  me  .  ”
“  are  you  trying  to  insinuate  something  here  ,  sophie  ?  ”  her  tone  shifted  ,  irritated  as  she  handed  the  phone  back  .
“  like  i  said  ,  i’ve  dated  guys  in  bands  ,  too  ,  and  ––  ”
“  enough  ,  ”  isla  snapped  ,  “  you’re  sticking  your  nose  where  it  doesn’t  belong  .  BOTH  of  you  should  be  off  doing  your  jobs  right  now  ,  so  ,  run  along  .  ”
both  of  them  scurried  off  without  a  word  .  
evan  was  still  for  a  moment  ,  but  her  fingertips  were  itching  for  the  keyboard  .  she  was  no  stranger  to  things  like  this  ,  unkind  words  from  strangers  who  didn’t  LOVE  the  idea  of  her  ––  despite  not  knowing  her  .  the  good  outweighed  the  bad  on  the  internet  ,  but  the  voices  who  didn’t  like  her  were  always  the  loudest  .  even  BEFORE  she  and  kieran  had  gone  public  with  their  relationship  .  .  .  even  before  they  were  ever  in  a  relationship  at  all  .  over  time  ,  she’d  learned  to  tune  it  out  and  focus  on  the  kindness  that  flooded  her  comment  sections  and  mentions  .  .  .  but  every  now  and  again  something  slipped  through  the  cracks  .  .  .  and  when  they  did  ,  she  absorbed  them  like  a  blow  to  the  abdomen  .  they  settled  into  her  memory  and  cemented  themselves  there  ,  tucked  away  until  they  found  the  perfect  moment  to  make  her  self  conscious  .  like  the  fan  who  had  commented  on  the  shape  of  her  body  before  and  after  going  to  uni  .  .  .  and  another  from  galway  who  made  it  their  business  to  let  everyone  know  she’d  slept  around  while  living  there  .  .  .  and  every  time  someone  said  she  wasn’t  good  enough  for  kieran  or  any  of  them  .  that  she  had  bad  intentions  ,  leeching  onto  the  boys  for  fame  .  that  her  career  was  based  SOLELY  on  the  four  of  them  .  
if  she  caved  and  kept  scrolling  ,  she’d  commit  it  all  to  memory  .  .  .  everything  that  made  her  intuition  about  bex  STRONGER  .  
instead  ,  she  launched  forward  and  snatched  the  rubik’s  cube  back  up  ,  immediately  distorting  its  perfect  faces  and  mixing  it  up  again  .  it  was  good  to  keep  your  hands  busy  ,  she  knew  ,  when  your  mind  began  to  run  away  .  
the  worst  of  it  wasn’t  even  TRULY  comments  about  their  relationship  .  .  .  those  hurt  ,  but  they  didn’t  sting  quite  as  bad  as  real  -  time  updates  about  kieran  and  bex  showing  up  or  leaving  venues  together  .  she  dulled  the  pain  by  reminding  herself  that  THREE  other  boys  were  never  too  far  behind  .  that  kieran  would  never  .  .  .  COULD  never  .  .  .  
but  then  again  ,  there  was  the  tweet  that  weighed  heaviest  in  her  mind  .  kieran  walked  out  in  the  middle  of  an  interview  ,  and  he  hadn’t  told  her  .  something  rattled  him  to  the  point  of  his  version  of  an  outburst  ,  and  he  hadn’t  told  her  .  that  seemed  like  something  he  would  have  told  her  .  .  .  it  seemed  important  enough  ,  she  thought  to  herself  ,  right  ?  RIGHT  ?
her  throat  felt  tight  ,  and  she  kept  running  the  tweets  she’d  read  over  in  her  mind  .  there  was  a  deep  furrow  in  her  brow  as  she  looked  down  at  her  hands  ,  still  vehemently  mixing  up  the  toy  .  something  felt  off  kilter  .  .  .  but  she  couldn’t  pin  down  which  hurt  more  :  the  slew  of  tweets  from  people  pretending  to  know  what  went  on  in  her  relationship  .  .  .  or  the  thought  of  kieran  doing  something  as  rash  as  storming  out  of  an  interview  ––  and  then  not  telling  her  .  
“  i  didn’t  know  about  t’e  interv​​iew  bit  ,  ”  she  said  quietly  ,  eyes  still  trained  on  the  colorful  cube  .  she  was  certain  her  face  was  the  opposite  ,  color  drained  .  
“  evan  ––  .  .  .  ”
“  it’s  fine  ,  ”  she  said  firmly  ,  “  it’s  probably  not  true  .  just  like  t’e  rest  of  it  isn’t  true  .  ”
her  voice  sounded  distant  .  .  .  and  she  wasn’t  sure  if  she  was  trying  to  convince  isla  or  HERSELF  .  clearing  her  throat  again  ,  she  set  the  toy  back  down  on  her  desk  and  scooted  towards  the  computer  .  
“  i’ve  got  work  to  do  ,  ”  she  said  quietly  ,  getting  back  to  the  monitor  .  though  all  she  wanted  to  do  was  go  home  .  how  many  more  people  thought  that  she  wasn’t  GOOD  ENOUGH  for  kieran  ?  how  many  people  thought  someone  like  bex  was  a  better  fit  ?  how  long  would  it  take  for  the  suggestion  to  become  potent  enough  to  make  the  people  who  KNEW  them  question  it  as  well  ?  and  if  kieran  had  walked  out  of  an  interv​​iew  ,  WHY  hadn’t  he  told  her  ?  
she  glanced  down  at  her  own  phone  screen  ,  hoping  that  maybe  she’d  missed  a  text  or  a  call  .  .  .  but  all  she  got  was  nothing  .  nothing  but  the  words  she’d  seen  written  down  ,  now  cemented  in  her  mind  :  bex  is  simply  so  much  better  for  him  .  .  .  because  SHE  was  there  ,  wrapped  up  in  the  same  world  he  was  in  .  she  was  accessible  .  immediate  .  beautiful  .  
and  evan  was  stuck  in  london  with  nothing  but  time  to  wonder  .
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enbycalicocat · 4 years
Text
Day 2: 28th of January, 2021
.
The stylist patiently told me with that gentle voice of hers to please tilt my head in a specific way. Her hands softly guided me, and I imagined my tense neck muscles creaking and cracking as they jerkily moved.
God bless this woman, I thought sincerely. For the past couple of hours she had been nothing but kindness even though I was stiff as a board, and getting worse as time went by and recording got closer.
I seldom logged into social media, and it turned out that the day I did, there was some dumb contest trending. The prize was a spot in a popular variety show. Or was it a game show? Truth is, I don't even watch it. But the captions said Seventeen, TXT, and BTS would be guests, so I decided to participate, because why the hell not?
Now that I was sitting on the stylist chair, watching people hurriedly pass by, hands shaking, and heart thundering in my chest, I could finally answer that question. Why the hell not participate? Because you might win. That's why. Winning should've been a good thing, right? But instead I was so nervous I'd probably pass out. And guess what, since I won the damn contest, I'd get to pass out right in front of the three bands I admired the most in my life.
Yay!
NOT.
A familiar voice rang out through the room and brought me out of my mind.
"I was waiting with everyone else in a room, but I got lost. Where am I? Can you tell me where the other hyungs are waiting?"
My eyes widened so much, so fast, they literally hurt. No. It couldn't be him. Please. It can't be him!
"Minghao-ssi, how did you end up here? Seventeen-sunbaenim are nowhere near here."
Yes! It was him! And the one that had spoken so casually with him was none other than the stylist-unnie working on me. I was crying silent tears in my heart as I saw Minghao, and I mean THE Minghao, the crazy talented singer and rapper from Seventeen, smile at my stylist. No, please, Haohao, don't smile like that, you're blinding me.
"Noona!" He said excitedly, coming closer. "Finally a familiar face."
"You brat, how do you manage to get lost each and every single time?"
"Noona, it's not my fault. I just went to the bathroom, and then when I came out, I couldn't remember the way back. If the bathroom had been closer to the room, this wouldn't have happened!"
"Haaa~," the stylist-unnie sighed, "Fine, I'll take you back to your room. Either way, I'm done with her now, and she needs to wait in the same room."
"Oh." And just like that, thanks to unnie, Minghao's focus was now on me. I felt myself shrink about one meter under the pressure of his stare. "Sunbae will be waiting in the same room as us?"
Oh my God. Sunbae. As if I'm some very important person to be called sunbae by THE Minghao. I'm gonna die. And Haohao will be the cause of death.
"Yes, she is the one that won the contest. She will be participating in the games and recording the show with you all today."
The stylist gave me a look after a few seconds of silence had gone by and I understood that I was supposed to introduce myself now. Crap. I bowed quickly.
"U-uhh... N-nice to meet you Mi-Mi-Minghao-ssi, my name is... U-uh... H-Hyemin. P-please take care of me!" Jesus, I was so nervous I was stuttering all over the place. What the hell was I supposed to do when I met the rest of Seventeen, not to mention TXT and BTS?
"Ah, I see. Nice to meet you too, Hyemin-noona. Please take care of me too." Minghao bowed as well and smiled that blinding smile again, and I had to resist the urge to outwardly squint, so I could only cry in my heart. Ahhh~ Haohao, I thought I told you not to smile at me like that. Are you really trying to kill your noona?
"Ah~ So you can talk!" The stylist-unnie interjected, giving me a gentle smile. "Well, then you'll be alright. None of these brats bite, I swear."
"YAH!"
The loud scream suddenly resounded through the room and everyone jumped. Afterwards, a very angry Wonwoo, I mean THE fucking Wonwoo, rapper and singer for Seventeen as well, walked over to Minghao.
"Minghao-yah! It's been an hour since you supposedly went to the bathroom! I've been looking for you for ages!"
Oh my God... That thick low voice of his was no joke. It really did sound all grave and sexy. In fact, if anything, on camera it sounded higher that it actually was.
"Hyung," Minghao said trying not to smile, while the rest of the people in the room tried and failed to hold in their laughter. "Hyung, I got lost."
"You always get lost," Wonwoo said as he rolled his eyes, finally calming down now that he'd found Haohao. "Come on, let's go back to the room. I know the way."
Quickly, before I could react, the stylist grabbed me by the arms and pushed me towards Wonwoo.
"Ah! Since you're going back to the waiting from Wonwoo-ssi, please bring Hyeminnie with you."
Stylist-unnie, I'll die if I meet the rest of them. Either my heart will stop or I'll die of embarrassment, whichever happens first. So could you be a little less enthusiastic about killing me?
"Hye... Min...?" Wonwoo asked in confusion looking at me.
"Hyung, this is Hyemin-noona, she will be filiming and participating in the games with us. She won the contest." Minghao walked over to Wonwoo and gave me a smile. Haohao, what did I say? WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SMILING AT ME LIKE THAT?
Okay, time to introduce myself again. And I just had to do this about... twenty more times. Yay.
"H-hello, Wonwoo-ssi, I'm Hyemin and I'm 27 years old. It's a pleasure to meet you. Please take care of me," I said as I bowed.
"Ah, nice to meet you Hyemin-noona. It's nice to meet you too. Please take care of me too," Wonwoo said bowing and then hitting me with his signature fox smile.
My heart...! My heart! I can't take this! I'm gonna die before the day's even over!
"Oh, Wonwoo-ssi, I wanted to ask, who all are coming today, do you know?"
"Well... There's only five of us. From TXT-hubae only two came, and from BTS-sunbaenim only four came."
Well, that meant I only had to die nine more times. It's something!
"Ah, I see, I see. Okay then, go on to the waiting room. They'll start filming any moment now and it won't be good if you're not there." The stylist-noona smiled at us, and when her eyes settled on me, she winked.
"Yes, thank you for taking care of Minghao-yah." Wonwoo bowed formally.
"Indeed, thank you noona," Minghao said bowing as well.
"Th-thank you unnie for doing my make-up and taking care of me." I was really very grateful to her. Even though she actively tried to kill me, she also helped smooth some of the interactions over. I wished my words could express it better.
"No need, no need. Now, go on, go on. You're making noona blush with all your bowing and formality."
Without saying anymore, Wonwoo stood up straight, smiled and then turned to leave. Minghao and I followed his example, and all three of us began walking towards the waiting room.
"So, Hyemin-noona, we should get to know a bit about each other if we're gonna be playing games together. The information will be of good use. Either to know your game comrade better, or to know your enemy," Minghao said with a laugh.
It seemed like he really was the social butterfly he appeared to be on camera.
"U-Uhh... What do you wanna know?" I asked awkwardly, wanting to hide behind my hair, but not daring to touch it after unnie had styled it. If I ruined the hair-do I'd just make more work for her.
"What does noona do? Do you have a job?" Wonwoo interjected before Minghao could even begin to think.
Minghao shot him an arched eyebrow and a smug smile. Wonwoo blushed and looked forward again as he cleared his throat.
"I'm curious too," he said shyly.
For the first time that day I laughed. Look at Wonwoo, THE Wonwoo, get all shy and uncomfortable because he wanted to know more about me in a respectful way and couldn't seem to find the way to do it.
"That's okay. I can tell you. I work at a book store, but my passion, what I do as soon as I get home, is writing," I began to explain.
As the three of us, and then the twelve of us when I met the rest of the guys, talked, laughed, teased and joked around, I finally realized I'd made a mistake.
Somewhere along the way, probably sometime this morning as I was getting ready to come to the studio, I had forgotten that these guys where real. I had forgotten they were human beings, with emotions and mistakes. They were as nervous as me probably, and that was something I didn't even consider possible a few hours ago. However, now I remembered: they're all as imperfect as me. There's nothing to be afraid of.
.
.
Prompt: 2. Write a story based on a dream you had.
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jamaiskookie · 4 years
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mutuals (pjmxreader) [bonus:celibacy]
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~mutuals~ [youtuber!reader x idol!jimin] social media AU
synopsis: park jimin is a (slightly problematic) idol singer, and he becomes completely smitten with a youtuber after stumbling upon her dance cover to his own song.
genre: fluff, a good dosing of cracK, literally two seconds of angst blink and u miss it
word count:  2.3k
[A/N]: thank you for all the love you’ve given mutuals! can’t believe it’s only been like one week since this blog has been up hehE enjoy this drabble of thirsty!jimin after he found your video. if you have no idea what i’m talking about gO READ THE FIRST CHAPTER
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           When JinHit first hit record sales with the success of Jimin’s mini album, and RAPLINE’s first title single a couple years ago, Jin finally gave in to Jimin’s begging and gave all the artists their own personalised studio in the JinHit building. It’s where all the greatest hits on the charts are written. It’s practically the modern eighth wonder of the world, considering the names and talent that have graced the walls. 
          Jimin, Yoongi, and Namjoon all have their separate studios to write, produce, and record in, and all three of the small rooms are located next to each other. Partially because of design and common sense, but also so all three friends can conveniently annoy each other when needed. Jin’s office isn’t too far away either, just across the floor. Usually, if they’re all working in the studio, they’ll walk over to Jin’s office during lunch hour and leech off his amazing personal pantry in his office. The office is much, much bigger than their studios, and Jimin never fails to remind Jin that. 
          All three artists have grown a little attached to their studios. It’s where they do what they all love most, after all. Yoongi barely lets anyone into his ‘Genius Lab’, and ever since a staff member accidentally messed with his coffee machine, he hasn’t let anyone step foot in. Nobody’s even allowed to come inside Namjoon’s studio during what he calls his ‘namjoon talent time’ which is basically just a period of time before comeback season where he locks himself in the studio, writing music 24/7. 
          He occasionally asks Jimin to listen to his unreleased files for suggestions, but other than that, noone except Yoongi goes inside his studio during ‘namjoon talent time’, and Namjoon only reluctantly lets him in as his bandmate. Not that Jimin minds, he hasn’t been let inside since he accidentally mistook Joon’s studio for his own and brought one of his one-night-stands over. Joonie was horrified, and made Jimin sanitise, wash and clean every part of the room, all while he cried about how his ‘baby was molested’. It was traumatising for both parties. 
          Out of the three, Jimin’s the least protective over his studio, even though he’s the one who put the most effort into it. He’s spent years perfecting it, making it the best place for inspiration and writing music. Everything in the studio has been personally chosen and thought out by him. The snacks and custom mini fridge, the wall of his entire discography, trophies, music awards, and his personal favourite, the official JIMIN logo sign above the couch. 
          It lights up in purple.
          Despite being a pretty stereotypical assholey partying douche idol, Jimin’s likes to think he’s actually quite talented. He’s been named ‘Most professional idol’ on every single online survey he can find (He’s also always voted for ‘Most handsome’, but that’s besides the point), and it’s true. Jimin never sells himself short. He is a professional musician, singer, and producer. He writes his own music, choreographs his own dancing, and uses his platform to spread positive, meaningful messages. There’s a reason he’s so internationally successful, and it’s because he’s talented. 
          Maybe right now isn’t a great example of his talent. Jimin was in his studio, holding his head in his hands. Sure, he’s a globally recognised and accomplished songwriter, but to be honest, he hadn’t written a single piece of original JIMIN music since he wrote ‘Filter’ with Namjoon months ago. He was in the biggest creative slump in his entire career. He had tried almost everything, co-writing, exercise, music samples, playing around on instruments. Hell he even tried music therapy. Whatever melody he tried to create, whatever lyrics he tried to write, it all came out sounding like garbage. 
          Yesterday was a little bit of a blow to Jimin’s ego. It was three in the morning, and he’d been in the studio for seven hours, with only one verse written. 
I love to let loose,
Have you ever tried eating moose?
It’s all so bananas,
Tony fucking Montana. 
          Yeah, it’s pretty embarrassing. It’s not even a verse, it looks more like a kindergartener’s attempt to write poetry. For the first time in his life, he doesn’t really feel like writing music or putting his thoughts in a song. Jimin is just plain out of ideas. He has nothing to write about. And if he doesn’t have good content to put out, he’d rather not put anything out at all. 
          But he still hates it. All his life, he’s coped by writing, singing and dancing. This writer’s block has been too frustrating. Too many sleepless nights and crumpled papers have been wasted over it, with no progress or music in result. Plus, Jin might be one of his closest friends, but Jin was also a boss, and he still needed more tracks for Jimin’s big comeback, happening end of the year. 
          He can’t help it. Jimin has nothing left to write about. He opened one eye when he heard the distant ding of his phone coming from somewhere in the studio. Grumbling incoherently, he opened the notification, to find… you. 
          Jimin’s mouth was hanging open the entire video. His eyes twitched the tiniest bit and he almost dropped the phone when you said his face was “decent”, but he had to watch it again, because the first time around, he didn’t hear a word that came out your damn mouth. He was otherwise… preoccupied. No matter how much he tried, he just couldn’t tear his damn eyes off the screen. Curse Min Yoongi for sending him this. 
          He even cringed when he had to bring his sleeve up to wipe the tiniest bit of drool off his face. Practically salivating. What the fuck? How old was he? He was Park Jimin, why was he popping a boner from watching some stranger on the internet dance to his songs? He’s been in the industry for way too long now, he was practically immune to scantily clad women prancing around him. So why he completed concentrated on your stupid little crop top? Not to mention, you were practically insulting him at this point. What was so special? 
          For one moment, Jimin forced his eyes off the screen, wondering if the sleep deprivation had really affected him that much, or if this was another side effect of the writer’s block he’s been having. It’s the partying ‘clean act’ ban Jin’s been forcing me to go on, he thought, even though Jimin wasn’t totally convinced of that. (Despite swearing not to, he looked straight back to down at his phone afterwards to reply the video.) 
          He was so fixated on the screen, he didn’t even notice when Yoongi flung the door open and walked inside. Jimin only lifted his head when he heard Yoongi’s obnoxiously loud groan. 
          “What- When did you get here?” Yoongi recently went back to a fan-favourite hair colour of his, and Jimin was still not used to seeing him with bright mint coloured hair. In his opinion, he looked like a highlighter, but Yoongi seemed to not mind it. 
          “I’ve been standing here for the past two minutes, drinking my coffee. The fuck you watching on your phone that’s got you drooling?” 
          “NOTHING.” Yoongi narrowed his eyes, and before Jimin could even move away, he managed to snatch the phone away from Jimin’s hands. 
          “What the fuck- how? You know, this is why your fanbase thinks you’re a cat.” Yoongi ignored his words with ease. “Oh my god,” He said. “Are you watching the video I sent you? I didn’t expect you to actually watch it.” 
          “I always watch my fan’s videos after a comeback!” Jimin insisted, clawing upwards to steal his own phone back, but Yoongi kept slapping his hands away. 
          “Yeah, but this isn’t a fan. This is just like, one of your fanboys and a girl roasting you.” Yoongi stared back at Jimin suspiciously when he tried to defend himself. “Why were you watching this girl dance like a starving man, Chim?” 
          “Just, because- what- I was nOT watching her like a starving man. Don’t look at me like I’m some kind of a pervert!” Jimin finally managed to grab ahold of his phone again, and he threw it behind him on the couch, away from Yoongi. 
          “Hyung,” He sighed. “I think maybe it’s Jin’s new ‘clean, good boy’ rule. Along with this stupid fucking slump I’ve been having these days, I just don’t feel great, okay? So don’t be so fussy with me. I can’t write, I can’t party… If I want to ogle over some random girl on the internet, I will.” Jimin cringed once the words came out of his mouth, but Yoongi slowly nodded, sitting down on the couch. 
          Min Yoongi may be a little too gay to understand Jimin’s womaniser ways, but the frustration behind not being able to write music, that, he understood. “You’re trying to justify being a perv by using your mental problems, but I’ll talk to you about that later on.”
          “Chim, we all have our slumps. It’s honestly a wonder that this is your first serious creative block. Me and Joon, and every single artist in the world, is bound to go through that at some point. It’s not the end. You’ll still be able to write good music soon, you’re a good writer.” Jimin refused to meet Yoongi’s eyes, even if what he was saying did make a little sense. He just chose to stay silent. 
          “You just have nothing left to write about. You can’t keep living like this though, Chimmy. It’s unhealthy.” 
          “What do you mean, unhealthy? I’m perfectly fine, thank you.” 
          Yoongi stared at him deadpan, gesturing to the entire state of his studio. “It’s a complete mess in here,” He said. “Plus, I don’t think you’ve left this studio for days. The others may not want to say it to your face, but we’re all a bit worried about you. Stop forcing yourself to ingest all these redbulls to try to keep writing.” 
          “When inspiration comes, it’ll come. You can’t force it, it doesn’t work that way. What you need, is a break. Go back home for once, maybe visit your mom. And for god’s sakes, take a shower please. Trust me, okay?”
          Yoongi doesn’t like admitting it, but he’s the most caring one out of their friend group. Anyone can tell from the look in his eyes right now, that he’s genuinely concerned about his friend. He’s also the one with most sense, but Jimin will never tell him that, because his advice, no matter how sensible, is useless. 
          All he’s known is singing, writing, and throwing himself in work. To just stop? Even if it’s to take a short break, it doesn’t feel right to Jimin. Instead of telling Yoongi his problems, he just poked his tongue in his cheek. If lightbulbs actually popped up above people’s heads when they had a good idea, a massive one would’ve appeared on top of Jimin’s. 
          “I’ve got it!” He said, excitedly. Yoongi sat up straight. “You’re going to take my advice for once?”
          “No, of course not, Hyung. Don’t be silly.” Yoongi slouched his back again, closing his eyes. 
          “I’ll just hit this girl up!” Yoongi’s eyes snapped open. 
          “What.” 
          “Yeah! Who knows, y’know? Maybe I’ve been keeping myself to Jin’s rules a little too well. It won’t hurt the company if I let myself go just once. Blow off some steam, come back fresh and recharged.” Jimin rubbed his hands together like a bad Disney villain. 
          “It’s too early for this.” Yoongi whispered, pinching the bridge of his nose.
          “It’s three in the afternoon.” Yoongi ignored him. 
          “You really aren’t going to take my advice, huh.” 
          “Nope!” Jimin said, popping the ‘p’ annoyingly. 
          “You promised Jin you’d go celibate.”
          “I said I’d clean up the partying act. I don’t recall taking a vow of celibacy.” Yoongi just sighed, and fell back down on the sofa, mindlessly sipping at his coffee. 
          Jimin hesitated. “You’re not going to… tell me not to? Or give me another one of your eco-feminist speeches again?” Yoongi shrugged. 
          “You’ve heard it too many times. Plus, I have a feeling this is going to be funny.” 
          “Funny? Hyung, what part of this could possible be funny to you?” There was a brief pause filled with awkward silence, before Yoongi blinked slowly. 
          “When she rejects you, of course.” Jimin threw his jacket, aimed straight for Yoongi’s head. His stupidly fast cat-like reflexes managed to dodge it, but Jimin scowled at him nonetheless. 
          “She’s not going to reject me.” Jimin walked over, picking up the very same jacket he threw at Yoongi, before plopping his sunglasses back on his face. “No woman has ever managed to reject me before, and I intend on adding her to that list.” He pursed his lips. 
          “Plus, she’s super hot. Great ass. Attractive people attract attractive people.” Jimin turned his phone back on once more to sneak one last peek at you in the thumbnail of the video, before stuffing his phone into his back pocket. “I just need to get it out of my system. This might be what I need to get me out of this creative rut!”
          He could’ve sworn Yoongi muttered something under his breath, something along the lines of ‘fucking asshole’, but he chose to ignore it. 
          “Alright, well, see you, Yoons!” Jimin practically skipped out of the studio, startling the producer’s assistant outside with his slightly disturbing enlarged grin. 
          “Don’t come crying to me when she refuses to get in your pants, you fucking diva!”
          Jimin continued walking towards the elevator, but he threw up his middle finger behind him. 
“DON’T RUIN MY EXIT, BITCH!” 
[taglist:] @notmontae97​​ @lucedelsole97​
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chattegeorgiana · 3 years
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Not meaning to sound rude/offend(I’m truly not) but why post about USA politics instead of Romanian ones? Ngl I know the 45th isn’t the one true problem to it all (though he still fanned the flames) but after living with 4 yrs of T**** damage(lucky for non-USA people you didn’t have to live with that) it’s just good to have him out of the WH. Also it’s not just the president in charge, decisions are also made by the house of Congress, the senate, and surpreme court. President does have power, just not 💯 % or else it be dictatorship.
What is going on with Romania?
I do post about Romanian politics as well. It’s just scarce. The same way that post was scarce.
I don’t post politics all day on Tumblr or social media. I try to stay as much away as possible, because people are too invested into this to see that the picture is waaay bigger than Trump or Joe or any other politician.
The political system is an abomination of a system made to divide people to their core.
The political system has divided people and extremized them to their goddamn core and you guys think this is a joe vs trump issue.
Congrats, you just fell into their trap. It’s what this system is meant to do.
You think non-USA people weren’t affected? Have you heard about NATO? Have you heard about international relationships?
Don’t think that you lived in a vacuum and there weren’t ripple effects of this thing.
US is/was a world superpower. Everything the US does has ripple effects. The same way those other big players also leave ripple effects.
As for him being out of there, of course, I am not even going to say that it’s good or not. You guys should know better. 
What I would say is that careful with the mass media, ya know? Because some of the words he had said, were true. Some related to China, for example.
How do I know? Because little Romania, a country u guys have no idea about, or better said, my little hometown has been under the effect of Chinese MO.
A single thing has stood to me out of all the limited things that I saw about Trump and your guys’ politics: how he manage to raise employment rates again. 
How? By putting people back to work in the very factories the Chinese bought and then closed.
How do I know that? Because that’s the Chinese MO from Romania as well. From my very hometown.
We had factories of corrugated board (3nd best in the whole wide world), factories that gave the 2nd most purest water in the world and whatnot.
These were the very basic factories that sustained the local economy in my little hometown. Know what happened after Chinese business people came and bought those factories?
Everyone was out of job and my county became the 2nd poorest region in the country, because the factories were closed. People unemployed that had to just flee the city if they wanted to survive. Because those business they did with the Chinese were pure corrupt businesses.
My hometown is mostly a ghost town right now, run by local mafia who got rich after doing those businesses.
So you see, in some respects Trump was right. And I know he was, not because he said he was. I don’t trust a word coming from any politician’s mouth. 
I know he was because I’ve seen it happen with my own two eyes in other sides of the world. All you had to do is connect the dots for yourself. 
The media tried to paint him as crazy for spewing some truth.
So before you believe everything the media tells you about him or how you should think about him, try to detach a bit and do your own research.
I’ve worked in the media. My very first job actually. I learned there how the games are done behind closed doors.
Now, you’ll say I’m a Trump supporter or idk what label you will put on me. Because that’s going to be probably the easiest way to explain this.
Well, I’m not. I won’t support anything political in my entire life lol.
Trump said some truths, but he has some issues as well. He’s a goddamn narcissist and that’s what it was his downfall in politics.
Politics nowadays is shrewd. He’s not. He’s full blunt direct force. The perfect ammo for the system to paint him whatever they want to. In that respect he’s stupid and I would’ve expected him to  be smarter given all the shit he pulled in the past.
Like the thing with the banks and taxes that everyone blames him for.
Do I say he did a good or bad thing? Nah. I say he did a smart thing.
He found a way to give people jobs, while in the meantime getting himself rich. He found a loophole, yeah. But it’s not like all those instances with him not paying his taxes were done on his own. Nah. He had an agreement to people in power.
I often wonder... Do people hate him for not paying his taxes or for not having first the idea that he had to make money? 
Because in the end it’s all reduced to money. Because money is power and it’s what makes the world go round.
He found a way to grab power and be outside of the locks of banks.
Don’t you guys have those credits ever since you’re in school? That’s literally chains on your future.
You spend most of your lives trying to pay back the banks who lock you in an eco system that generates money to them, while keeping you in chains.
He just found a way to be out of those chains. Out of that wretched system.
Because you see, that’s the issue... It’s a system issue, not a Trump issue.
I don’t have the moral authority to say if what he did is right or wrong. After all, he did create thousands of jobs for people as well while doing what he did.
But are you guys under the impression that Trump might be the only one who did that? Lol, tell me you’re not that naive.
Those kind of people have armies of accountants around them to make the papers look good.
It just so happened that Trump probably disturbed someone. 
Because at those levels there’s a looot of power play. I mean, it’s not like in the past they didn’t all hang out together.
Come on, tell me you’re not that naive. It’s a move done by politicians ever since they goddamn invented that wretched system.
And since you asked by Romanian politics, what I’ve just written until now about Trump, is the same thing that happens in Romania.
It’s a global phenomena. It happens in every country. Here it’s the same, lol.
They all used to hang out together, and then whenever the elections come they start being at each other’s throats, posing as if they’re the biggest enemies.
But then you see clandestine pictures of them dining together at a restaurant. Or not even that. Just them hanging together.
You know, when the media isn’t there to be telling the story they want to tell to the audience.
Because if you think that the media isn’t politically subservient, you’re OH SO wrong.
Told you my first job was in the media.
You know what someone I worked with told me about some discussions they used to have in the USA on some sort of workshops or whatever u called them back in the day?
That US media hasn’t been free media since the 70′s. And that Romanian press was still free at that time (this was a discussion back in the 90′s).
But, there will come a time when the press won’t be free in Romania either. That they will write under political command.
Well, guess what happens nowadays? Exactly what that person said. It started somewhere back in 2008-2010.
In the pandemic for example, Romanian government gave the media 70$ billion in funds.
Which makes me wonder, why would the media need something like that, if it’s not an essential domain, like we oh so started labeling?
But hey, they did it in the pandemic so they are now free of any suspicions because if they did it now, all they wanted to do is “help”, right?
To write good about the political party in charge, while admonishing the others.
Despite people knowing all too well how the games are played.
So at the end of the day, all I’m saying is before putting your trust into politicians, look around you.
Now that it’s Biden, you say it’s a senate whatnot problem. Back when it was Trump, everyone blamed just him, as if he was the only one in charge.
Which is it after all? Is it a single person problem or a problem of senate/president/everyone else?
See what I mean?
Anyway... I’ll stop here. I am sure this thing won’t be understood in its true nature so I won’t bother anymore.
All I know is at the end of the day I have my conscience clean, no matter what.
So yeah, hope that answered your question. Basically to sum it up in Romania it’s the same shit as it is in other countries, only adapted locally, ofc.
But it’s still there to divide people, at the end of the day, so that’s that.
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tea-with-veth · 4 years
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Q&A with Teahound!
It is I, the author of and as he fell (you walked away) here to answer all your questions. Thank you for reading and asking questions for me to answer! Slight spoilers ahead, so be warned if you haven’t finished. 
S E Q U A L? Do you have any other fanfic plans? (This is the one the most people have been asking about, so I’ll answer it first.)
Yes, I do have an idea (who am I kidding, it’s a whole, insanely detailed outline) for a sequel to this story. It would be a longer story, and bring in a bigger cast, including the sleepy bois inc, Eret and Nikki, Tubbo, Schlatt, and a bunch of other characters you know and love. It would take place a few months after the events of and as he fell and would answer questions like “what happens to Dream when he leaves the forest?” “where does Bad come from?” “why is there a war?” “will George ever actually use those goggles I mentioned him having at least twice?” “Will we see more of Technoblade? (the answer is yes obviously)” 
When will you write it/will you write it? 
I’d love to write this, honestly. However, I definitely need to take a break to focus on schoolwork, especially now that finals are right around the corner. RIP. Also, it will be good for me to take a break from writing so I learn to stop checking my email every twenty minutes to see if someone has left me a comment. If I end up writing this story, it would begin sometime around thanksgiving break. If I decide not to do it, I’ll let y’all know, but it’s the plan, at the moment. In the meantime, I might do some one-shots, so keep an eye out.
What was the inspiration for this story? 
Last summer, when I was watching the Minecraft Manhunts with religious fervor, alongside the incredible animatics (Toni Tonight, if you’re reading this, this might be all your fault) I went “this would actually make a great animated show.” I then proceeded to tell my completely uninterested sister about my idea for a 3 season anime that started off as a creepy thriller and then ended with the Dream Team coming together as a found family. 
I never imagined that I’d actually write that story. But (and this is where it gets weird) I went to college. And I had to present a paper for my English class. I really love writing, and I was terrified that I wouldn’t do a good job. It gave me massive writer’s block. I couldn’t put a single word on the paper. So I decided to write something, just for fun, and share it with everyone on the internet to get past that hurdle. 
And then it turned into a part-time profession and obsession and was a ton of fun. The end.  
What is your process? Did you plan out everything before you posted this story, or have some sort of plan? 
I’ve been writing with an outline for the last five years or so, and I don’t know what I’d do without it. I start with paragraph-long synopsis of the story, which I break up into chapters, and expand on whenever inspiration comes. Occasionally I’ll improvise things as I write, but for the most part I stick with the outline, even if it’s very basic. For example, for chapter six I literally just wrote “healing/bonding montage,” and listed a few words describing different moments, like “apple picking,” and “swimming.” 
As for the actual writing process itself it looks like. “Sit down, say I’m going to write, check social media for an hour, write three sentences, cry, watch youtube, drink a cup of tea, eat a box of cheez-its, write four more sentences, go work on a completely unrelated project and be super productive at that, cry, check tumblr eighty times, and put off the rest of the story until the last possible second, or until I really need to focus on something else (aka, homework). 
How do you write fight scenes?
Okay, I’ve received a lot of positive feedback on my fight scenes, which is super encouraging because they are hands-down the hardest things for me to write. I usually have a handful of moments I know need to happen, like, “Sapnap gets disarmed,” or “Technoblade gets stabbed in the stomach,” but the in-between moments are a lot harder. When I get writer’s block, I’ll watch scenes from movies I like (or Sad-ist’s animations) read battle scenes from other pieces of literature I like (my motto is “when in doubt reread green&gold”) or run around my room crying. For the final battle against Technoblade, I got really stuck, and ended up storyboarding the entire thing on two sheets of paper, which actually really helped.
The Question No One Asked But I Must Share: Is there a playlist for this project?
Yes! There is! I have incredibly in-depth reasons behind every song on the playlist because overthinking things is my greatest skill, but I’ll settle for listing them for brevity’s sake. Be warned, it is mostly Cavetown. 
Plant Life by Owl City
Telescope by Cavetown
Lemon Boy by Cavetown (a classic)
Fake You Out by Twenty One Pilots
Somewhere Only We know by Keane
Home by Cavetown 
How are you doing? 
Thrilled, thankful, and over-the-moon with happiness. Thank you everybody, and have a lovely night. My inbox is always open, so feel free to stop by and say hi :) 
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soobiniebaby · 4 years
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Angels & Devils Part VII : Green Light
Tomorrow x Together Fanfiction
~ p a r t s : main post || prologue || part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 || part 5 || part 6 || part 7 || part 8 || part 9 || part 10 || part 11 || part 12 || part 13 || part 14 || part 15 || part 16 || part 17 ~ p a i r i n g : love triangle involving choi soobin and choi yeonjun ~ g e n r e : high school au | some social media au | some fluff & angst | childhood friends | love triangle ~ l a n g u a g e : English ~ w a r n i n g : contains swearing, alcohol, kissing (?) and may contain mature themes (angst, etc.) ~ a / n : This will be my first fanfic (go easy on me pls) and i’m just writing this as I go along, so bear with me juseyo The setting (place/country) of the story is up to the reader’s interpretation ~ s u m m a r y : What should she choose? Han Baby: the new girl with a troubled past MO Academy: her new high school Choi Soobin: student council president, member of the Ecosave club, volunteer at the Humane Treatment of Animals, member of the Honor Society, a vocalist in the Jazzed club, the school’s all around golden boy Choi Yeonjun: leader of the Dance club, star of the Jazzed club, the school’s it boy with a bad rep 5 best friends, 1 new girl, 1 childhood friendship, 1 epic love triangle? What will this school year bring?
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“No?” Yeonjun asks.
B nods her head. “No.”
He raises a brow at her. “But you just nodded.”
“Yeah, I was saying ‘yes’ to your ‘no?’.” B explains.
“Wait, so you’re saying yes?”
B lets out a huff. “Yeonjun, seriously—”
The blue-haired boy laughs. “Baby, I’m kidding. Don’t worry, I understand. May I ask why, though?” He was genuinely curious. Was he expecting to get shot down? Not really. But was he expecting her to say yes? Kind of. When Choi Yeonjun asks someone out, he almost always gets a yes on the first try.
“We’re friends, you and I.” B starts, her eyes starting to dart around the shed as she continues. “And my best friend is one of your best friends. I don’t want to mess up our friendship group’s dynamic by going out with you and then being dumped by you and then having everything crash and burn afterwards.”
“What ‘group dynamic?’ What ‘being dumped?’ What ‘having everything crash and burn?’ How are you so sure that all that is gonna happen?” Yeonjun asks. He had to keep himself from chuckling and maintain a straight face, because as ridiculous as it all sounded to him, he knew that she was serious and he wanted to treat it seriously.
“If I go out with you and you and I don’t work out, everything between us will get awkward. I know Ningning’s my best friend, but the boys will definitely pick your side, so I’ll probably have to find a new group of friends to hang out with.” B explains.
“Baby, I promise you, we won’t end up like that. If you agree to go out with me, nothing will change. We’ll all still be friends. You won’t lose us.” Yeonjun says reassuringly.
“And how would you know? Have you ever dated someone from your circle of friends before?” B asks, raising a brow.
“God no. As attractive as my friends are, I don’t think I could ever see myself going out with any of them. I mean, Hyuka’s like a baby brother to me, Taehyun is too perfect it’s kinda intimidating, and Beomgyu just isn’t my type. I mean, I think Soobin and I could work if we gave it a shot, but I don’t think he’d be interested.” Yeonjun says jokingly.
“Yeonjun, come on. You know what I mean.” B says, letting out a small laugh.
“Okay, I haven’t. But look at Gyu and Ryujin for example. Sure, they weren’t in the same friend group, but they were friends and they dated, and then they went back to being friends. Friendships don’t have to crash and burn just because of a few dates.” Yeonjun says defensively.
“Yeah, okay, Gyu and Ryu managed to stay friends. But if things don’t work out between you and I—” B starts, until Yeonjun interrupts her.
“But what if they do...” he says quietly.
“What?” B says, unable to hear him properly.
“But what if they do? What if we do? What if things between us work out?” Yeonjun asks.
B’s quiet for a moment before slowly starting again. “It’s not just our friendship I’m worried about, you know. I just moved here, I’m going through a big adjustment period in my life right now, and I’m just starting to make friends and establish a routine, and I like that you’re a part of it. I like seeing you everyday, I like that we’re classmates for at least 1 period and that I get to hang out with you and eat lunch with you and the rest of the boys.” she says, and as positive as it all sounded, Yeonjun had a feeling he knew what she’d say next. “But I’m not ready to change any of it. I like you, Yeonjun, enough to at least enjoy seeing you everyday. But I’m not ready to do anything that could change how things in my life are right now.”
Yeonjun nods. “It’s alright, Baby. I understand.” he says sincerely, looking right at her eyes. She really did look sorry, but at the same time her eyes kept darting back and forth between his and the ground. He could tell she was being sincere, but it looked like there was something more that she didn’t want to say. She was fairly easy to read, but he couldn’t decipher what else could possibly be on her mind.
“So that’s why I’m saying no. I’m really sorry, Yeonjun. I like our friendship too much right now to let anything get in the way of it.” she says, her eyes meeting his.
“You like our friendship too much right now? What about, say, in 2 weeks? Do you think you’d feel differently about our friendship then?” Yeonjun asks innocently.
“Yeah, if you suddenly become unbearably annoying in the next 2 weeks, that could definitely change.” B says sarcastically. “I don’t know, Yeonjun. It’s not like I can see into the future or anything, but I don’t think anything could change how I feel about us in a span of 2 weeks.”
“Oh, I don’t know, Baby. Everything can change in 2 weeks.” Yeonjun says mysteriously. When B raises a brow at him, he just smiles at her with a glint in his eye. “You’ll see. Now c’mon, let’s get back in there before they come looking for us.” he says, opening the door and leading her out of the shed.
•°•
It had only been 2 hours since she turned Yeonjun down, but looking at him now, B was starting to regret it just a tiny bit.
The boys had been rehearsing in Soobin’s house for an hour now. They hadn’t really been singing or rapping as Taehyun hinted they would be. They were working on the choreography and mostly polishing their positions and transitions, and as impressively sharp and coordinated as they all were, she had to admit that she couldn’t keep her eyes off of Yeonjun.
The blue haired boy could dance.
Simply the way he moved made him stand out. His movements were completely controlled yet so effortlessly executed, as if dance were a language and his body was highly fluent. She could see now why girls would go crazy when they see him perform, and a small part of her was starting to regret turning him down, even though she knew it was silly. Him being an amazing dancer shouldn’t be a factor to take into consideration when deciding whether not she would date him.
But still. She caught herself staring at him more than she’d like to admit. It was only when Kai threw himself onto the carpeted floor and yelled “Water break!” when she snapped out of it and stood up with a jolt.
“I’ll get you guys water, consider me as your unofficial water girl. That’ll be 5 water bottles, right?” B says, volunteering. “Uh, I guess I’ll get them from the fridge…?” she says, trailing off.
Soobin laughs, wiping sweat from his forehead before saying “Alright, I’ll show you where they are. Come on.”
B nods as she follows Soobin out of the room and downstairs towards the kitchen.
“So what do you think of our performance so far?” Soobin asks. “I know I’m not the best dancer, so it’s okay, you can be as brutally honest as you want.”
“Soobin, you guys are amazing. If the choreography looked that good, I can’t wait to see what the singing and rapping will sound like! And shut up, you’re a great dancer.” B says, playfully shoving his arm.
Soobin smiles, a bit embarrassed. “Thanks. You’ll only have to wait 2 more days until you see the whole thing, so I hope you look forward to it.”
“You bet I am! I didn’t know Ningning could dance either. Growing up, he was very interested in singing and playing different instruments, but I never knew he could rap and dance as well.” B says, amazed.
Soobin nods. “The Jazzed club helped a lot of us with honing in skills that we didn’t even know we had. It definitely helped me a lot with feeling more confident about myself. I used to be insanely shy until Yeonjun convinced me to join Jazzed club. Since then, I’ve even had the courage to take on the responsibility of being Student Council President, which is something I never thought I’d see myself doing.” he says bashfully.
“Wow Soobin, were you really that shy? I’m glad you’ve come out of your shell then, you’re doing great as far as I can tell. I guess being in Jazzed club helped you a lot then.” B says, smiling at him.
“You wouldn’t believe how shy I was.” Soobin laughs. “And yeah, it really has. Are you interested in joining? I think you’d like it.”
B thinks about it for a moment. “It looks like a lot of fun, and you guys make it seem so amazing. But I have to admit that I’ve never really been musically inclined? Don’t get me wrong, I tried really hard to learn how to play instruments when I was younger. Ningning tried to teach me how to play the piano, but I just couldn’t ever get it right. The most musical thing I can do is sing, but I don’t think I’m very good at that either, and besides, anyone can sing if they try hard enough.”
“I’m not great at instruments either, but I sang a lot while I was growing up and it was something I enjoyed doing. Never in my whole life did I ever think I’d be dancing on a stage in front of an audience though, but that also changed when I joined the club.” Soobin admitted.
“I really can’t wait to see you perform. I’ll get a front row seat, and I’ll be the one screaming my lungs out.” B says, laughing.
“If that’s the case then I’ll make sure to dance my heart out. I mean, if you’re gonna be giving it all with your lungs, might as well give it my best with all my heart as well.” Soobin says.
“Looking forward to seeing it.” B says, smiling up at him just as they reach the kitchen. “Oh, by the way, we should probably post stuff for our creative writing project too.”
“Oh, sure. Got any good pics from last night? I think I might have one.” Soobin says, whipping his phone out.
“I should probably be the one to post something though, since you posted something first.” B says, also taking out her phone. “We should each have at least one post every week.”
Soobin nods in agreement.
The two continue to look through their camera rolls until B exclaims “Ooh, I’ve got one!”
“Alright, I wanna see it.” Soobin says, attempting to look over B’s shoulder to peak at her phone.
“No way, you’ll see it when you post it! Let me just think of a caption.” B says, shielding her phone from Soobin’s curious eyes as she types out a caption.
Soobin’s phone pings with a notification, and he checks it.
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“Oh wow, I knew we took selfies together but who took this photo?” Soobin asks, transfixed. Were they really that close together last night? He had to admit that he wasn’t completely sober so the night was a bit fuzzy, but he didn’t realize that he had ever been in such proximity with B. Other than the moment she whipped cake off his face, of course. At the memory of that, he felt his cheeks start to warm up again.
“I think Yuna or Ryujin did? I’m sure it was one of them. We all airdropped each other all the photos we took from last night. There are a lot stolen photos, and most of them were highly unflattering, but this one seemed alright.” B says.
“Yeah, it seems alright.” Soobin says as he looks at the post again, noting how their faces were side by side, he could’ve rested his chin on her shoulder.
“Alright, now show me where the water bottles are.” B says, pocketing her phone.
“The what?” Soobin asks, his mind still on the post.
“The water bottles? I need to bring at least 5, which I probably couldn’t have carried all on my own, so it’s actually really good that you’re here. Now, where are they?” B asks.
“Ah, right. They’re here in the fridge.” Soobin says, walking over to the fridge and grabbing as much bottles as he could. “We’re gonna need way more than 5 by the way, so let’s just take as much as we can for now.”
“Alright, let’s go.” B says, cradling 4 bottles in her arms as Soobin pushes the refrigerator door close with his foot, his arms full of water bottles.
“Let’s go.” Soobin says, and the 2 of them head back to the designated practice room.
•°•
On Monday morning, B had to walk to school alone.
It was club recruitment day, and Taehyun had told her beforehand that he’d be going to school an hour earlier that usual in order to prepare for the busy day, especially since he was the vice president of the student council.
“Do you still wanna walk together, though? Or would you rather sleep in for an extra hour?” Taehyun had asked her through text the night before.
Of course, she chose sleep. As much as she loved walking with Taehyun to school everyday, she did not want to get up an hour earlier than she had to.
“Nah, it’s fine. I can walk alone. I’m sure it’ll be a busy day for you anyway, so don’t worry about me.” she responded.
Now, here she was, entering the campus alone.
She was surprised by how busy it was. Along the school grounds, several booths were set up, each with at least 3 people, calling people over, handing out flyers, holding up signup sheets. Most booths had small exhibits, music playing out of portable speakers, and some booths were even giving away snacks or candies to attract more people.
She was so amazed and overwhelmed by the scene in front of her that she almost didn’t notice Beomgyu approaching her with a polaroid camera and taking a quick picture of her.
“Ha! Gotcha, B!” Beomgyu says, laughing as he cradles his camera, waiting for the picture he just took to develop. Once it was done, he flapped it around for a bit before laughing and pocketing the picture. “That was a good one.”
“Gyu! Oh god, you surprised me. Didn’t see you coming. And what’s with the picture? Can I see it?” B says, a fist clutched to her chest. “Wow, so this is what club recruitment day is like?” she asks, looking around in amazement.
Beomgyu stands beside her and nods. “Nah, I think I’ll keep the picture to myself for now. And yup, pretty much. It can be pretty intimidating for freshmen and new students, but it’s all really fun.” he says. “In the morning we have the booths wherein people can check out what clubs are around, in the afternoon there’s the visitations so people can visit the rooms to check out what the clubs are like, then from 3PM onwards there’s the showcase in the auditorium wherein each club can put together a skit or performance to show off what they’ve got.” he explains.
B nods. “Wow, it seems so exciting.”
“It’s one of the busiest days of the school year, and it’s one of the hardest events to plan since it’s at the very start of the school year, so we were working on it even during the summer before classes started.” Beomgyu admits. “I’m part of 4 clubs, not including the student council, so it was a lot of work for me too. Especially since I’m the head of the Journalism club and in charge of the school paper.” he pouts.
“Aw, Gyu, it all looks great. You’ve done a great job.” B says, giving the boy a pat on the back. “Is that why you’re going around with a camera, by the way? For the school paper?”
Beomgyu nods. “Nah, these pictures are for my personal documentation though if I get any interesting pictures, I could use them for the paper. I do have a documentation team going around with cameras as well, but I like being behind the lens. Say cheese.” he says before quickly capturing a stolen photo of B once again.
“Gyu!” B screeches, caught off guard. “I better not see my face in any pictures on the school paper this month.”
“Don’t worry, I get to do final approvals for everything before each edition gets published.” Beomgyu says reassuringly. He smiles as the picture finishes printing and tucks it away in his pocket once again. “By the way, you interested?” he asks.
“In the school paper?” B asks. “Maybe. I write but I’m not sure if I’m any good at it, and I’m no pro at cameras either. I actually don’t know what clubs I might join.” B admits.
“Oh, maybe I can help you with that. I can walk with you for a bit, show you around the booths, try to see if anything interests you.” Beomgyu offers, which B gladly accepts.
“Are you interested in anything in particular? Got any hobbies?” Beomgyu asks as they begin walking around.
“Hm, I’m not sure. Got any clubs about reading? Or anything about animals?” B asks hopefully.
“For reading? I think there’s the literature club. That’ll be nice if you’re a fan of books and poetry and stuff. And if you’re an animal lover, you should definitely check out the HTA. That’s the Humane Treatment of Animals club. They’ve set up an animal shelter within the school and do a lot of volunteer work with animal rescue and stuff.” Beomgyu says.
“Okay, now those sound very interesting to me.” B says. “Do you know where their booths are? Can you show me?”
Beomgyu nods. “The council was highly involved in planning for today’s activities, and we had to approve of the booth layouts, so I think I remember where the booths are positioned. This way.” he says, leading them through rows of booths.
B could see then how much of a big deal extracurricular activities were at MOA. All the students seemed to be pumping with energy. She’d lost count of the number of times she had been offered flyers for different clubs by the time they reached the booth for the literature club.
The students managing the booth engaged her in a quick introduction about the club and their activities and had given her a flyer as well. Included in the flyer was the location of the club’s room and the schedule for the day. She gladly accepted it and put her name into the signup sheet.
“Alright, that’s good. Your first signup! Next stop, the HTA. I believe their booth is this way, right next to the—” Beomgyu begins, but he’s cut off by a shrill shriek.
“Baba! Baba!” Kai squeals as Beomgyu and B walk past the Art Club’s booth.
“—Art Club.” Beomgyu finishes, as Kai runs over from inside the booth, right to where they were standing.
Kai gives B a big hug as he joins her side. “Baba! Come check out the Art Club!” Kai says excitedly.
“Ningning, hey!” B says, surprised to see him.
“Wait you two, say cheese real quick.” Beomgyu says, pointing his polaroid camera at them. The 2 happily oblige and instantly pose, with Kai wrapping an arm around B’s waist and B lifting an arm up all the way to the top of Kai’s head in a peace sign, and Beomgyu pockets the picture once it’s done.
“Are you here to check out the Art Club?” Kai says excitedly.
“Ah, the Art Club. Of course.” she says, eyeing the booth. “I almost forgot that you were the president.”
“Of course I’m the president. My club’s the best club on the campus. Here, take a flyer.” Kai says, practically shoving one into her hands. “You too, Gyu.” he says, as he shoves one in the boy’s face. “By the way, what are you doing with Baba? I thought you were supposed to be manning the Journalism Club’s booth.” he asks suspiciously.
“Psh, just ‘cause I’m club president doesn’t mean I should be stuck watching over the booth. It’s all a matter of delegation.” Beomgyu says smugly. “Besides, I’d rather be walking around and capturing all the action than be stuck behind a booth all morning.”
Kai looks torn for a moment, like he wanted to abandon his booth and join Beomgyu and B, but he just shakes his head. “As much as I’d love to join you guys, I can’t abandon my booth. Not at the last minute, at least.” he says, pouting.
B laughs at the boy. “C’mon, Ningning, you’re doing great. Look, your signup sheet’s all full already!” she says, noticing the clipboard on the table.
“Don’t worry, we always have room for more. Here.” Kai says, taking the clipboard and flipping the sheet over to reveal another page full of free space. “Sign up, Baba! It won’t automatically mean you’re signing up to be a member, but it saves you a spot for the room visits this afternoon.” he adds, noting how hesitant B looked.
“Alright, I guess it wouldn’t hurt.” B says, signing her name on the sheet. She had no intentions of joining the art club since she was never talented at any form of art, but she figured it wouldn’t hurt to check it out, especially since her best friend was the president of the club.
“Yay, thanks Baba! See you later!” Kai says excitedly. “Where are you guys headed, anyway? Signed up for any other clubs yet?” he asks.
“We were headed to the HTA booth.” Beomgyu answers.
“Ah yeah, I almost forgot how much of an animal lover you are.” Kai says. “Their booth is right next door.”
“Yeah, I’m actually thinking of getting a pet soon, since I have my own apartment now.” B says. “Alright, we’ll check out the booth now. Later, Ningning!” she says, waving at her best friend as she and Beomgyu walk away.
“Are you really thinking of getting a pet for your apartment?” Beomgyu asks curiously. “What kind of pet would you want?”
“I like a lot of animals, I find them all really adorable.” B admits. “But I think I’d really want to get a cat, or maybe a couple of bunnies.”
“Oh, are those your favorite animals?” Beomgyu asks. “I’ve got a pet parrot, his name is Toto. You should meet him someday, he’s really sweet.” he says fondly.
Just then, they see Soobin standing outside the HTA booth, handing out flyers to people passing by. There was just one detail about him that caused Beomgyu and B to burst out laughing instantly.
He was wearing bunny ears made out of balloons on his head.
Beomgyu quickly snapped a picture with his polaroid camera while B quickly whipped her phone out to take pictures as well.
The sound of their laughter and the flash from Beomgyu’s camera caused Soobin to notice them, and his face instantly went red as he did.
“Gyu! B! What are you doing?” he wails, covering his face and turning away from them.
“Soobin! You look adorable!” B manages to say in between bursts of laughter.
“So this is how the HTA manages to get so many recruits every year.” Beomgyu says, amused. “Now I’m not surprised. Using you as a mascot is genius. No one can resist you, Soobinie.” he says teasingly.
“Oh, shut up.” Soobin says, his face still red. “What are you guys even doing here?”
“I was just helping B find clubs that she might be interested in.” Beomgyu says, casually draping an arm over her shoulders. “She says she’s an animal lover, so I figured she’d wanna check out the HTA, and now here we are. And here you are.”
B nods. “Yeah, Gyu told me that the club do a lot of volunteer work and even set up an animal shelter within the school, and I was instantly hooked. I really love animals.” she says with a twinkle in her eye.
Soobin smiles. “You’ve come to the right place, then. Here, have a flyer.” he says, offering her a flyer, which she gladly accepts.
She reads through the flyer then, her excitement to join the club growing by the minute. “Oh wow, now this is my kinda club.” she says. “Are you the club president, Soobin?”
“Yup. You interested? Wanna sign up?” he asks hopefully.
“Definitely! I’m already looking forward to joining.” B says, as Soobin hands her the clipboard with the signup sheet, which she gamely signs.
“Great! I guess we’ll be expecting you to drop by the club sometime after lunch for the visitations? The club’s location is on the flyer, so try your best not to lose it.” Soobin says.
“Sure thing. See you then.” B says excitedly.
“Hey, you two, say cheese!” Beomgyu says, pointing his polaroid camera at them. Soobin and B stand side by side and smile, but Beomgyu lowers his camera as he looks at them. “Okay, maybe pose a bit and say cheese? Come on, don’t just stand there.” he whines.
Soobin gives Beomgyu a look and B just rolls her eyes. She holds her arms out to Soobin and slowly steps closer towards him until her arms surrounded his body, and she closed them around him. He lets out a surprised laugh and decides to go along with it as he wraps his arms around her too. Slightly embarrassed, she squeezes her eyes shut and smiles. Just then, Beomgyu snaps a picture.
“Okay, that was a pretty good shot.” he says. He holds it up once its done developing, examining it one more time, before pocketing it.
“You know, that’s like the 4th picture you’ve taken of me this morning, yet I haven’t seen a single one of them.” B says as she steps away from Soobin. “Can I have at least one of them?” she asks.
“Nope, I keep all of the polaroids that I take. I’ve got a whole collection of them. I can print you out some copies if you want, though.” Beomgyu offers,
“Yes please, I’d really like that.” B says. “I’d also like to see your collection someday. Seems interesting.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to show you if you ever stop by my place.” Beomgyu says. “Well, that’s all the club you wanted to check out, right? Anything else you wanna do before lunch? Wanna check out other booths? I think Tyun’s managing the Debate Club’s booth, and Yeonjun’s probably at the Dance Club’s booth. We can stop by the Journalism club’s booth too so I can see how things are going.” Beomgyu offers.
“Sure thing, whatever you wanna do, Gyu. Lead the way.” B says.
“Alright, let’s go! See you later, Soobin.” Beomgyu says to the boy with the bunny ears.
“See you later.” Soobin responds.
“I’ll be sure to drop by the HTA later. See you then!” B says, giving a small wave before Beomgyu drags her along with him and they disappear into the booths once again.
•°•
“Hold still.”
“I’m trying.”
“Try harder, just hold still.”
“I literally haven’t moved since you started.”
“I said hold still, Baba!” Kai exclaims, trying his best to sketch her as accurately as possible.
“I am!” B says, smiling through her teeth. It was already after lunch, and visitations had already started. Her first stop was at the Literature Club, and it seemed interesting enough. They presented more information about the club and what activities they’d be offering for the school year. She was on her way to the HTA when she ran into Kai, who all but kidnapped her and dragged her into the Art Club.
She figured spending a few minutes in the art club wouldn’t hurt, especially since Kai had been so excited to pull her into the room. But then he insisted that she let him do a quick sketch of her, and B realized a little too late that it meant she’d have to stick around a little bit longer than she had planned.
It’s been 15 minutes since Kai had first told her to hold still, and she was starting to lose patience. When her phone alarmed with a notification, she was relieved to have an excuse to move. She sees that it’s a message from Soobin and she replies as quick as she can.
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B locked her phone and put it back in her pocket, feeling much more better than she did a minute ago. She told herself that she only had to hold still for 5 more minutes, and she hoped that Kai would let her go once Soobin arrived.
Sure enough, after 5 more minutes of holding still, B heard one of the art club members exclaim “President Choi! What are you doing here? Are you looking for Hueningkai?”
Kai’s head snaps up from his work upon hearing his name. “Younghoon, who are you talking to? Is that Soobin?”
The art club member, Younghoon, answers “Yes, he says he’s looking for someone.”
“Alright, welcome him in.” Kai says, putting his work down. B sighed in relief as Soobin walked into the room. When his eyes met hers, he gave her a quick wink, knowing that he was doing her a favor.
“Hyuka, hey! How’s the president of the art club doing?” Soobin says, walking over to Kai and giving his shoulders a squeeze.
“I’m doing good, we got a lot of signups today and the visits have been going really well.” Kai responds. “And how’s the president of the HTA doing?”
“Stressing out a bit, that’s actually why I’m here. I need  help with tracking down one of the campus cats. We were hoping to introduce all the campus animals during recruitment day but there’s one cat that we haven’t seen around in days. All my members have their hands full with the signups and visitors, so I was hoping I could find an extra pair of helpful hands here?” Soobin says, looking pointedly at B.
“Oh, I don’t know, Soobin. The art club’s pretty busy right now, too. I could ask some of my officers if they could help you?” Kai offers.
“Nonsense, your officers should stay here. I’ll go, I’m not I’m not needed here anyway. And I already had plans to stop by the HTA, so I think it would be nice if I could help out.” B insists.
Kai lets out a sigh. “Alright, I guess I’ll finish your portrait some other time.” he says.
“You sure you won’t mind? You can stay here if you want, I can try checking out the debate club if Taehyun can help.” Soobin asks innocently. Wow, he was good at this.
B smiles. “No need for that, I’m happy to help. I love cats anyway, I’m sure it’ll be fun.”
Kai waves the two of them goodbye, and they leave the art club together.
“Is there really a missing cat around the campus?” B asks, concerned.
Soobin shakes his head. “Nope. I just made it up. The cats and dogs in campus never wander far, so it’s easy to keep track of them all.”
“Wow you’re surprisingly good at lying then.” B says, impressed. “Oh, I can’t wait to meet them all! How many animals are there in the campus.”
Soobin just gives her a smile and says “You’ll see.” as they continue to make their way across the campus until they reach the edge of the school grounds, where a small cabin was located surrounded by a garden.
“This is another part of the campus that I haven’t been to yet.” B says. “Now, I’m really glad that you came, cause I don’t think I would’ve been able to find this place on my own.”
Soobin laughs and says “You’re very welcome, then.” as they step into the threshold of the garden. “B, welcome to the Humane Treatment of Animals, or the HTA in short. The club was established a few years ago when some animal-loving students noticed just how many cats and dogs were freely roaming the campus. They decided to assemble interested members, and with the permission of the school board, they were able to have this small area built within the campus grounds as a donation.”
“That sounds pretty impressive, it’s a good thing that those students took the initiative to do all this.” B says, staring at the establishment in wonder. Soobin leads her to the small cabin and opens the door for her.
As they step into the room, they’re met with the other members and officers of the club welcoming the other students who have signed up. And also, B couldn’t help but let out a little squeal as she saw cats and dogs all around the place, some were peacefully sleeping in random spots, some were rubbing up against the students and asking for attention, and there was one white cat that was right by the door as they walked in, and gave them a little meow.
“Oh my god, who is this cutie?” B says, instantly crouching down to examine the cat, who was rubbing itself against her feet. She offers a hand in front of the cat’s face, and the cat starts to nuzzle its face into her hand, which instantly makes her melt.
“Ah, that little guy’s name is Tobin. He’s the one in the picture I sent you earlier, one of my favorites. He’s very friendly, he loves to get pets and cuddles, but he’ll beg incessantly for food once he gets a whiff of anything that smells delicious to him.” Soobin says, joining B and Tobin on the floor as he crouches down as well.
“So if I join this club, I get to hang out with Tobin and all these animals every Friday?” B asks. “Count me in.”
Soobin grins at her then. “Alright, I’ll get you a copy of the official membership form. Have it filled in before the end of the day. All forms will be collected after the showcase this afternoon, so it gives everyone enough time to finalize which clubs they want to join.”
B shakes her head. “I have zero doubts in my mind that this is the club for me. If you give me the form now, I’ll fill it up and submit it right here, on the spot.”
And so he does.
•°•
B spent the rest of the time for club visitations at the HTA, getting to know the other members and cuddling up with all the animals under the club’s care. When Soobin announced that he had to go to the auditorium to do final preparations for the showcase, B asks him if she could tag along.
“I wanna make sure to get good seats, front row, right in the center.” she says, so Soobin allows it. Once they reached the auditorium, he went backstage with the rest of the organizers and performers, and she secured 3 seats in the front row, texting Yuna and Ryujin to come join her. The auditorium was already fairly full despite there being 30 minutes before the showcase started, and soon enough Yuna and Ryujin walked in and joined her.
The three girls start catching up, talking about everything that had transpired over the weekend, from Hueningkai’s surprise party all the way up to club recruitment day, which Ryujin and Yuna didn’t have much to do with since they had already joined clubs since they freshmen year.
They were so caught up in talking that they didn’t notice how full and busy the auditorium was, and it was only when someone from backstage announced “Please settle down, the showcase will begin in 5 minutes” did they notice how much time had passed since they started talking.
“Wait, there is one thing I’ve been dying to know all weekend.” Yuna asks with a glint in her eye.
“Oh, me too. I think I know what you’re talking about.” Ryujin says, looking at Yuna knowingly.
B looks back and forth to her left and right at the 2 girls. “Well, don’t just look at each other like that, what is it?”
The 2 girls give each other sly smiles before turning to B, who was sitting in the middle of them. “What did you and Yeonjun do during your 7 minutes in heaven?”
B could feel her cheeks heat up, remembering once again what she had been trying to push out of her mind the whole weekend. “Nothing much, we just talked, played 20 questions to pass the time. He was really nice.” she tries to say as casually as possible.
“Come on, you’re blushing like crazy!” Yuna says, laughing at how red B’s face was.
“Spill it!” Ryujin exclaims, poking B’s sides until she finally caved.
“Alright, fine, but promise me you won’t tell a single soul about this. I haven’t told anyone about this, not even Hueningkai, so if this information somehow circulates, I know it’ll be because of you two.” B says reluctantly.
“You know we wouldn’t do that to you.” Ryujin says. “We promise we won’t tell anyone, now spill it.”
B takes a deep breath and lets out a sigh before saying “Yeonjun asked me out.”
Yuna squeals in delight while Ryujin just smirks. “Why am I not surprised.” she says smugly. “So what happened? How was it? Are you two secretly dating now?”
“No no, nothing happened. I turned him down.” B admits, and that’s when Yuna and Ryujin actually looked surprised.
“What? You turned him down? Why?!” Yuna asks, completely baffled.
“He’s my friend, and he’s one of my best friend’s best friends, I don’t wanna mess anything up. Imagine how awkward the group dynamic would be.” B says defensively.
“But it’s Choi Yeonjun!” Yuna exclaims. “Oh gosh, I know I’ve had the biggest crush on Kai in like forever, but if Choi Yeonjun asked me out, I would’ve said yes in a heartbeat.”
“It’s complicated, I just don’t want to complicate things, is all.” B says.
“Yuna, hush, we have to respect B’s decision.” Ryujin says, patting the girl on her knee. “B, how did Yeonjun take it? Are things okay between you two or are they weird?”
“He seemed fine with it, he said he understood, and I don’t sense any awkwardness so far. I told him I liked our friendship too much to risk complicating things, then he said something about our friendship changing in 2 weeks, which I don’t really understand but I laughed it off anyway. I’m hoping that’ll be the end of that and that we’ll be able to move past it without it affecting our friendship.” B explains.
“Wait, what about 2 weeks? What did he say exactly?” Ryujin asks.
“Sounds like he’s got something planned for the next 2 weeks? Is that it?” Yuna asks, intrigued.
“No I don’t think it’s like that. I didn’t really understand, but he said—” B starts, but she gets cut off when the lights in the auditorium suddenly go out and music starts blaring as everyone’s eyes focus on the stage, the showcase starting.
The showcase was interesting and entertaining enough. Each club had an allotted time to present whatever they wanted to. The different sports teams held a short fashion show that showcased each team’s uniforms with each team captain making a short speech to announce tryouts, which earned cheers and cheers from the audience when Yeonjun, Soobin and Hueningkai were spotted strutting on stage wearing their basketball jerseys. The film club presented one of their latest projects. The photography club showed a slideshow of pictures taken earlier that day and the film club put together a video as a sort of highlight reel from the club recruitment day. B had lost count of how many clubs had showed their presentations when the announcer finally said:
“And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, an exclusive performance from the Jazzed Club, starring MO Academy’s very own Student Council! Debuting the club’s latest composition entitled ‘Boy In Luv,’ please put your hands together for Jazzed!”
The screams were deafening as the 5 members of the student council appeared on stage, wearing their school uniforms stylized in different ways.
B had seen them rehearse the choreography at Soobin’s house, but nothing prepared her for their performance.
Kai opened the performance, which immediately got the audience screaming. Next, Beomgyu’s deep vocals dominated the auditorium, and Soobin’s rapping was heard for the very first time, and everyone seemed surprised by how good he was at it, judging by the escalating cheers from the audience when he started.
But nothing surprised B more than when it was Yeonjun’s turn to sing as he was front and center on stage, dancing and expertly making eye contact with the audience. It was no surprise that he was an amazing performer, but what got B’s jaw to drop was when his found somehow found hers in the audience as he rapped the words “But, I’m going to flip the situation, from friends to lovers” and winked right at her before Taehyun took his turn.
When that happened, B felt her heart pound as Ryujin and Yuna each grabbed her arms and started screaming incoherently. She tried her best to focus on the rest of the performance, but all she could think of was Yeonjun and what he just did.
As the performance ended and the 5 boys bowed onstage before waving at the audience once more, B could still feel her heart pounding as she cheered along with the audience.
Kai and Soobin found her face in the crowd and started jumping up and down, waving their arms in the air with excitement. She waved back, cheering as loud as she could, and she could feel her heartbeat start to slow back to normal.
Just then, Yeonjun’s eyes met hers once again, and he gave her a small wave and a bright smile before winking at her once again. And just like that, her heart started to pound again.
“Looks like Choi Yeonjun’s got his eye on you.” Ryujin says in B’s ear.
B puts a hand on her chest, feeling how fast it was beating, and wondering what exactly it meant.
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