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#the fourth one is based off of call ducks!
aboringredmop · 2 days
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k still don't know how im gonna post the videos (YouTube? unlisted?someone please help) but I can't sleep so I thought it'd write down whatever I remember happening!
(edit: here's the full recording! )
Becky and Joe walked on stage wearing sunglasses and red leather jackets and threw 3 of the trio plushies into the crowd. didn't get one unfortunately but it's really cool some people got free plushies :)
they made this robot child called the Inspiration Child, who's clearly meant to be a nod to ai (can learn from our show and generate it's own content!)
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they explained how they met (and had some dodgy animated retelling), and how they started with small projects like commercials and music videos, until they came up with designs of the trio (and a mysterious fourth fella)
they made the designs first, then made the set, then the song and finally wrote the script for creativity. red guy was just a red mop head with legs at first ("alien squid thing") but Joe put the red guy head on for shits and giggles once and Becky thought it was hilarious so they kept it in the show
they were really not expecting it to blow up, and when Sundance called because they wanted to show creativity Becky thought it was a scam caller lol
they talked about the kickstarter and the credit card fraud kid. the mailed him saying "hey maybe dont do that" but the kid didnt know how to undo it cuz he just found a website full of credit card information and went ham, so Becky and Joe had to contact kickstarter because people were pulling out of the funding because they thought the project was overfunded (kickstarter was very difficult to contact)
they also made (lighthearted) fun of nsfw fluffybird art ((no padlock 😔) "using OUR characters to act out their SICK FANTASIES" - Becky) and theorists, especially because most if not all of the webseries is just them fucking around.
Inspiration Child also says something along the lines of "wow what a cool show with a great message of how corrupt the media is. I hate the media!"
Becky and Joe had these rules to make the show as vague as possible (no pop culture references, no names, no swearing and way too much detail put into small things)(the duck guy drag queen absolutely obliterates the no swearing rule lol)
they talk about the pilot, how they focused too much on the story because they felt like they had to due to it being on the big screen now, and how it ended up ruining the atmosphere and such of the pilot. they did show the entire thing sped up but my phone sucks ass so I could not get it to focus correctly. I'll see what I can salvage so you people can dissect frames of your blorbo you're Legally Not Allowed To See (which is also the official reason we don't get the pilot)
also pilot concept art showed that Mean Steve is in fact just called Key
they showed a whole post-it wall full of ideas for the tv show. don't know how much I got on footage, but what stood out most to me were 2 episodes called Money and Christmas. Joe mentioned "clock in a wheelchair" specifically
also really fun fact. Becky made the Lesley suit during covid, and pretty much threatened Baker into writing a human character into the show to wear it. concept art also shows Lesley with a mask made out of the same fabric, don't know if this was part of the original suit tho
they showed Warrens old models (?). he was gonna be a wayy more ugly looking silicone pug-worm thing y'all got lucky with the bald fuck
lily and todney were directly based off of some cancelled show about two porcelain doll children with panda parents. do not for the life of me remember what it was called but Becky and Joe were very enthousiastic about it (UPDATE: Candy and Andy!)
international release of the show soon!
Inspiration Child talks about what he's learned and sings a little song, then generates his own dhmis inspired content of a cult meeting in a forest at night. the dhmis Discord server called this "potential new content" but I doubt it
3 cultists walk on stage, face the screen backs to the crowd, drop their cloaks and boom! drag queens!!!
they were not mentioned on the site or during earlier parts of the show at all so they were a complete surprise. I asked Becky about it later during the night and she said she really wanted them there, so she asked and they were excited to! hope this means more official content with them soon I love them
they dance to There's Three Of Us, then Duck lipsings the shredder song which turns into a techno remix while Red and Yellow dance during the background
then Duck and Yellow make out while Red tries to undress to the instrumentals of the Fucked Up Part of Creativity but can't get out of his suit on time before the song ends
the drag queens, Becky and Joe and the Inspiration Child walk around during the meet and greet later and I got signatures from all of them! except inspiration child he didn't have thumbs
the drag queens were so fucking funny. Duck adopted inspiration child and loudly yelled at everyone to "GET AWAY FROM MY FUCKING CHILD" (their duck voice is sooo good). yellow stood in a corner staring at a wall for like 10 minutes and red was constantly awkwardly hovering just outside the frames of pictures (and also could not see shit lmao)
Becky liked my shirt! (the one with the melting trio heads) said she handdrew it
I'll post the signatures and some more stuff tomorrow because it is. 5 am
edit Heres the signatures! yellow guys is Italian I think? and means hi I love you :)
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(the liyskaen is duck trying to spell my name. they got pretty close)
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booksooks · 11 days
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hihiii what do u think tomura x civilian reader would look like 👀👀👀
𝑯𝑬 𝑳𝑰𝑲𝑬𝑺 𝒀𝑶𝑼
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Author's Note: HELLo! ty for the ask, i hope this was what u were looking for!
Content: Like... one? Death threat. You'll be fine. Lots of dialogue.
Word Count: 1430
Summary: Shigaraki decides he likes you.
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The first time you ever met Shigaraki Tomura was at your local bookstore slash game shop. You were, as per usual for this store, weighed down with an armful of books, and you were about to make your way around a shelf to head to the checkout, when you stopped, intending to look at an interesting looking book. Instead, your foot collided with someone else’s, and you watched in horror as the person attached to the foot lost their balance and fell back on their ass. 
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” You cried, immediately plopping your stack of books on a nearby shelf. You picked up the person, no, the man’s game cartridge, and put that on another shelf before you reached out your hand to help him up. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was putting my feet.” 
The man only glared at your outstretched hand, a black medical mask covering the lower half of his face. It did nothing, however, to hide the downright murderous scowl that contorted his forehead. His eyes flicked up to yours, red and full of hate. 
“It’s fine,” he spat out, but you could tell he was not happy with you, or the situation. He completely ignored your hand and stood up by himself, brushing himself off and snatching the game cartridge from the shelf you had put it on. 
“Are you sure?” You asked, trying to catch his eyes again, but he stubbornly kept his face ducked, which caused his hair to blur any noticeable features. “I’m really so sorry.” 
“I said it’s fine.” 
You bit your lip, hesitant, before you blurted, “look, I know we’re not supposed to use our quirks in public, but if you’re hurt I can take care of it for you. It’s the least I can do.”
That gave the man pause. His scowl dropped, and although he still didn’t look at you, he wasn’t actively trying to run away from you. “You can?” 
“Yeah!” You chirped, a bit too loudly, and you winced. “I-I mean, yeah, I can. Where does it hurt, I’ll help.” 
You saw him swallow, reach a hand up to scratch at the base of his neck, and then he stopped. He held that hand out to you, shaking ever so slightly, and turned it palm up. His wrist had the ittiest, bittiest bit of rug burn on the inside, it was nothing really. It would heal by tomorrow. But you had told him that you could help, so you activated your quirk and raised two fingers to wave above the wound. You didn’t even touch him, but he still flinched back, as if you were burning him.
Something in the back of your mind snorted at the idea of calling the tiny patch of raw skin, barely red, a wound, but you were nothing if not someone who followed through. Either way, it was gone in a moment, fading to pink, and then his wrist looked like it had never been injured. 
“Better?” You asked, looking around to see if anyone had noticed. Unauthorized quirk use could get you in major trouble. 
The man made a face underneath the mask; the only reason you even noticed was because the mask itself wiggled slightly. “It itches,” he whined, using two fingers to scritch at the spot, 
“Yeah, that’ll go away in a sec.” You took a step back and grabbed your stack of books. “I’m really sorry again. Have a nice day!”
The only response you got was the feeling of his eyes trailing after you as you made your way to the front of the store. 
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Over the next few months, you saw the man with red eyes again. And again. And again. And again. And one day, you figured he was trying to get your attention. You hadn’t known he was Shigaraki Tomura at first, not until your third or fourth encounter, when the features lined up just-so with the man you had seen on the news a few days earlier. 
Which spurred you on to do the stupidest thing you could possibly have, which was corner him. 
“Holy shit,” you hissed, shoving him into a back corner, behind several shelves and where no one ever really looked. “What the fuck, what the fuck, you’re that villain guy, Shigaraki Tomura, what the fuck! What the hell are you doing here?” 
Shigaraki, for the villain that he was, didn’t put up any fight as you practically bullied him backwards, his mask still over his nose and mouth. “Kind of surprised you didn’t recognize me earlier.” 
You furrowed your brows and looked at him incredulously. “You’re a little hard to recognize without that whole,” you paused, and made a general “covered” motion over your face, implying the hand that usually sat on his face. “You know?” 
Shigaraki shrugged. “The video games here are good.”
You dropped your hands and blinked at him. “This is… too weird. I should- I should be dead.” 
“I can still kill you if you want.” 
“N-No, it’s okay,” you insisted quickly, backing up. “I just… What? ”
“What ‘what’?”
You rubbed at your face. “I mean, what, why am I not dead, what, what do you mean the video games here are good, what on god’s green earth?” 
Shigaraki scratched at his neck, a habit you had noticed in a previous “innocent” meet up. “I mean I like the video games here. And you’re useful.” 
You nodded, pretending to understand. When it was clear that Shigaraki wasn’t going to elaborate, you shook your head in defeat. “How? ”
“Your quirk.” 
Oh. He had prodded you a bit more about it the second time you had met, and you had elaborated, thinking, ‘What the hell? What’s the worst that could happen?’ 
Well.  
“I see. Well um. Great meeting you, I guess.” 
“Wait.” Shigaraki shoved his hands in his pockets, awkward. You stopped backing away, knowing that your only chance of escape was dissolving like sugar in warm water. 
“Yes?”
“Join us,” Shigaraki said, looking directly at you. “We could use someone like you.”
You sighed and blinked at him, confused. “I-I have no reason to.” 
Shigaraki snorted and you were very suddenly reminded of the danger that was simply his hands. 
“I don’t really have a choice, do I?” 
Shigaraki shook his head, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiled beneath his mask. It wasn’t the most comforting look. “No.”
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Which was how you found yourself joining the league. Actually, join was a strong word, it was more like you were on retainer when needed, or when not needed. It was really up to Shigaraki’s discretion. He popped in whenever someone was in need of healing, or when he was bored. Which, as the months passed, seemed to grow more and more often. 
And… well, you weren’t really afraid of him. Yeah, he threatened you often enough. But he never really seemed into it, nor did he ever follow through. So you entertained him, learned how to play his favorite video games with him, and even, on days when he was angry or frightened or just plain upset, he would let you read your favorite books to him. He would huff and pout, crossing his arms and kicking his feet up onto your coffee table, but he’d let you read without interrupting until you got to the end of the chapter, and then the flood of questions would pour out. 
He cared. You knew he cared, you could tell in the way he listened and took notes, remembering everything you said. He’d bitch about you bitching, but he wouldn’t let a problem linger around you for long, and you were never left wanting for anything for long. 
He never spoke up either, never admitted it was him leaving little gifts around your apartment for you to find. That was, unless, you went too long without mentioning it offhandedly. 
“How are you finding that new pan?” He would ask, not looking up from his Switch. 
“It’s fine,” you would reply, swallowing back any hint of a smile. “Food doesn’t stick to it like my old one.” 
“Good to hear.”
“Mmm.” 
And then you would move on. 
It was simple. It was quiet. Maybe society wouldn’t consider you a good person anymore, but you didn’t care. You lived a peaceful life, with people who relied on you, and made you feel needed. And the world’s scariest villain, Shigaraki Tomura, liked you. 
So yeah, you were doing pretty damn good, if you did say so yourself.
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End Notes: i'm not sure how to feel about this one. anon, i hope you enjoy <3 feedback is always appreciated.
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ABSOLUTELY NO ONE HAS MY PERMISSION TO REPOST MY WORK TO ANY SITE.
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The Periphery
Pairing: Bradley Rooster Bradshaw x Reader
Rating: M
Notes: This accidental behemoth is based on this post and part of the lil fic triptych with The Worst Best Man (Jake Hangman Seresin x Reader) @tropes-and-tales Team Prime (Bob Floyd x Reader)
No physical descriptions, no use of y/n. Also not beta-read. Because it never is.
Length: 11.1K
Warnings: Slowburn (i know, shocker); angst (I know, shocker); fluff; happy ending!!
Summary: You’d met Bradley a few times before the happy couple had announced their nuptials, and you’d always gotten a pretty good vibe from him. He was sweet, he was easy to talk to—and it helped that he was easy on the eyes. In fact, as soon as you’d been told that Bradley Bradshaw was going to be the Best Man, you were well on your way to having a crush on the guy. 
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“Alright, what have we got, what have we gooooot…” Bradley asked, turning the steering wheel and guiding the Bronco onto the avenue. 
“Let’s see,” You looked down your checklist. “Candy and labels for the favor bags?” 
“Check.” 
“Final payment for the florist.” 
“Check.” 
“Final payment for the cake.” 
“Check.” 
“Drop off the…Card-thingies for the seating placement at the venue.” 
“Place cards?” Bradley chuckled. 
“You knew what I meant. Only thing left is putting the favor bags together and we are set.” 
“Hell yeah. Up top.” 
You glanced over, smile widening when you spotted Bradley holding his hand up. You gave him a high five, chuckling as he crowed, “Boom! Dream team right here.” 
You leaned back in your seat, shifting a little bit. Bradley was certainly the easiest person you’d had to work with over the course of this wedding—bride and groom included. You’d met him a few times before the happy couple had announced their nuptials, and you’d always gotten a pretty good vibe from him. He was sweet, he was easy to talk to—and it helped that he was easy on the eyes. In fact, as soon as you’d been told that Bradley Bradshaw was going to be the Best Man, you were well on your way to having a crush on the guy. 
“Oh—Shit,” Bradley muttered. 
“What is it?” You frowned. 
“No, nothing. I need to grab my tux,” He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “Just remembered.” 
“Oh,” You frowned, glancing back as he drove past the shop. “Do you wanna go now?” 
“Uh…You sure?” He asked, raising his brows. 
“Yeah! The rest of my day’s clear, I don’t mind.” 
“You are a lifesaver,” Bradley swore, pulling his car into a parking spot. You waved him off, setting the checklist on the backseat of the car. 
“Hang on,” He warned. You frowned, shaking your head, then smiled as he rounded the front of the car, opening the door for you. 
“You’re such a gentleman, Bradshaw,” You teased. 
“I try.” 
He held the door open for you at the shop, too, and you tried not to get too flustered about it. But Bradley really was a gentleman. He’d shown you that repeatedly over the course of wedding prep, checking in periodically to see if you needed help with anything, or just to chat. 
He gave his name at the desk, nodding and offering his thanks as the attendant left to get his suit. 
“You get your dress yet?” He asked. 
“Yep. Picked it up earlier in the week.” 
“You are on it. I don’t know how you do it.”
You shrugged, trying to ignore the bubble of flattery rising in your gut. “This isn’t my first wedding.” 
“How many times have you been a Maid of Honor?” 
“This is the…fourth time?” 
“Holy hell.” 
“I kinda like it,” You chuckled. “It was stressful the first time but the fourth time around, it’s sort of old hat, you know.” 
“Bradshaw?” The attendant called out, waving the two of you deeper into the shop. “If you’ll follow me? We just want to make sure the alterations are all set before we send it out with you.” 
You trailed after him, tucking your hands into your pockets, and grinning as he gave you a little wink before ducking into the changing room. You sat down in one of the chairs nearby, scrolling through your phone and shooting a text to Katie, the bride. You frowned as your phone began to ring, and you tapped on Katie’s name, taking the call and raising it to your ear. 
“Hey, lady. How are you doing?” You asked.
“I’m okay. Are you guys done, have you gotten everything?” 
You tried not to groan at the panicked edge in her voice.
“We have the stuff for the favor bags, we dropped the checks off.” 
“Are you putting the bags together today?” 
“Not today, but they will be done,” You leaned into the word to stave off her argument, “Before the end of the week, and dropped off to the venue on Friday.” 
“Promise?”
“You have my word. Take a deep breath.” 
“That Katie?” Bradley called out from behind the curtain. 
“Yeah!” 
“Tell her we’ll get it done!” 
“I did!” You laughed before adding, “Bradley says we’ll get it done, too. ‘Kay?” 
“Fine,” She sighed before belatedly tacking on, “Thank you.” 
“You’re welcome. I’ll see you tomorrow. Call me if you need anything.” 
“I will. Thanks, hon.” 
“Anytime. Bye.” You lowered your phone, looking down as you heard the curtain being pushed aside. You glanced up, doing a double-take at the sight of him. Your stomach flooded with butterflies at the sight. You bit your lip, gaze sweeping him from head to toe. You’d been to fittings with a few groomsmen in your day, but Bradley looked damn good. The suit fit him like a glove. You stood from where you’d settled down, tucking your phone away and stepping closer, folding your arms across your chest to fight off the urge to reach out and touch. Luckily for you, he hadn’t caught sight of your blatant interest as you hovered in his periphery. He was too busy double-checking his buttons.
“…It fits well,” You offered. 
“Yeah?” He asked, glancing back at you. You couldn’t help the way your smile widened as you nodded, allowing yourself to move a couple of steps closer. 
“Yeah. Do you like it?” 
“Wearing a suit feels a little weird,” He chuckled, turning to look at himself in the mirror. “But I guess it’s good practice.” 
“Good practice?” You repeated, brow furrowing. “What do you mean?” 
“I’m getting married next year. Actually, all of this has been good practice. You’ve been a lot more helpful than you know.”
Your smile stayed frozen in place as your neck went hot, your blood roaring in your ears. It made sense. It made so much sense, and it had no right to hurt, to twist your insides up. You nodded, and dropped your gaze to his left hand, like you could spot where the ring would sit; you wondered what kind, what metal. Engraved? Plain? Gold? Silver? Bradley struck you as the type to have a plain outer band, and an engraving inside—some secret message, or initials, or the date that they met—the date of their wedding anniversary so that he’d never forget, but Bradley wasn’t the type to forget— 
“You’re sure it looks alright?” 
His question jolted you, made your smile twitch a touch wider out of panic, your eyes bright, attentive, and flickering to his face. Even with your newfound knowledge, your upset, your crushing disappointment—you couldn’t help the softening of your expression at his blatant nerves.
“Yes,” You nodded. “I’m sure.” 
–  
It was ridiculous, right? 
It was ridiculous that it formed a knot in your chest. It was ridiculous that you were so rocked by the revelation that you couldn’t sleep. You needed to do something to get your mind off of what you’d learned; off of the sight of Bradley in that tux, bright and hopeful. 
He’d told you all about his fiancé on the drive back to your place. That was sort of your fault. You had asked—but it had seemed rude not to, once you knew that there was someone in the picture. Bradley had told you all about Liz: how they met (she was a friend of his WSO’s), how long they’d been together (six months), how the proposal had gone (she’d been the one to plan it—from the ring, to where he proposed, to the photographer who photographed the occasion, to the party of friends and family that they went to afterward), how the wedding planning was going. 
“It’s been a bit of whirlwind, planning-wise…Actually, the whole relationship has been,” He’d shrugged. “And our schedules are nuts. We kinda keep moving the goalposts.” 
“On what?” 
“…Well, when it’s gonna be, for one.” 
His laughing admission had planted a little seed of hope in the nest of dismayed vipers making a home in your belly, but you wouldn’t allow it to take root. It was to be expected. Like he said, their schedules were nuts. But still…
When it’s gonna be.
It rose to the top of mind now and again as you worked on the favors through the night, putting custom labels on the bottles of wine, making sure each bag had a corkscrew, and tying a strip of white ribbon around the neck of the bottle. 
When it’s gonna be. 
Couldn’t they just elope, if they were so worried about that? Have a proper wedding later, when things were more settled, if it was causing them so much stress? You hadn’t brought that up, of course. It wasn’t any of your business. 
When it’s gonna be. 
You set the final bottle in the final bag, then dropped the corkscrew inside. You’d already put on the label, and the ribbon. You sighed heavily, looking around your living room. It was crowded with nearly two hundred completed favor bags. How the hell were you going to get them down to your car? Could you even fit all of these in your car? You groaned, leaning back against the couch and scrubbing your hands over your tired eyes. 
Maybe you hadn’t only done the favors to keep your mind off of Bradley. Maybe you’d done it to avoid him, too, just a little. Getting them all done yourself meant that you didn’t have to spend an extra couple of hours with him. Sure, it would’ve gone faster with two, but if you wanted this crush to end with the wedding, you needed to start distancing yourself. 
It wasn’t the kindest way to deal with the circumstances—and maybe your feelings would ebb, now that you knew there was absolutely no chance of acting on them. 
Still, whatever happened, you’d gotten the favors done before the end of the week, as you’d promised Katie. 
–  
“When should I come by? I can bring pizza or something, we’ll get those favors knocked out before the party.” 
It was a sweet offer, because Bradley was a sweet guy. You planted your elbow on your desk, plaintively eyeing your work email before looking around to see if any of your coworkers were listening in. 
“Actually, I took care of them,” You admitted. There was a pause on the other end of the phone, and you bit your lip, waiting for his answer. 
“You—…All of them?” He finally asked. 
“Mhm!” You forced the tone of your hum to be bright and chipper. 
“That’s, like…That’s like two hundred bags.” 
“One hundred and ninety-seven, but. Close!” 
“I could’a helped you.” 
You thought that he sounded disappointed, but surely you were reading into it. 
“No, I know! I know. I got them done, it was no problem. I had time.” 
There was another pause on the other end of the phone, and you found yourself wondering if he was distracted with whatever he was doing on the other end of the line. 
“…How long did it take?” He asked. 
“A bit? I don’t know. I didn’t time it. It was fine, I was awake.” 
“You did them last night?”
“Yes! When else?” You laughed nervously. “Look, it’s seriously fine. They’re all set.” 
“Are you alright?” 
You sagged back in your office chair. 
“Yeah,” You fibbed. 
Another harrowing pause. Then—
“Alright.” 
It sounded like a tired concession. You forced yourself to draw in a deep breath, trying to lift the anxious weight moving to settle in your chest. 
“I’ll need help bringing them to the venue,” You added. 
“I can do that.” 
You knew he could; you hadn’t doubted his willingness to help at any turn. You tipped your head into your hand, nodding a little bit. 
“Sounds good, thank you.”
“You looking forward to the party tonight?” 
No, you really weren’t. In your experience, joint bachelor/bachelorette parties were either hellishly boring, or nothing but trouble. 
“Yeah!” You chirped. “It’s gonna be fun!”
–  
Dinner had been nice. The first couple of rounds of drinks had also been nice. Moving to a club had felt like a bad idea, but there you were nonetheless, crammed between the bar and Bradley. You were trying to focus on anything but the feeling of his body behind yours and the scent of his cologne as you waited for your drinks. This was bad. This was sort of torture. You peered around your shoulder as you heard Katie shriek in excitement, and smiling as her fiance, Cory, leaned in to give her a kiss. 
“They’re sweet.” 
Bradley had to get close to say it—to speak it into your ear, over the sound of the music. He rested his hand on your hip, as if he had to hold and keep your attention, as if you wouldn’t know that he was talking to you. You managed a nod, your fingers flexing against the bar. You lowered your head, stomach twisting as the bartender pushed your drinks toward you. You reached out, passing Bradley’s drink back to him before you took hold of your own. 
Bradley gave your hip a squeeze, steering you back toward the group. Oh—god. You closed your eyes tightly for a second before you turned to face Bradley. You pressed your drink toward his hand, forcing him to let go of you and take hold of it, and leaned in so that he could hear you. 
“I’m going to get some air! I’ll be right back.” 
You turned, squeezing through fellow clubbers before he could ask or argue. You gave the bouncer a murmur of, “Excuse me,” As you slid past him. You puffed softly as the sounds of the club dropped away. The air outside was warm; the breeze pushing over you almost smelled sweet compared to the stench of sweat and booze waiting for you back inside. 
Ugh, god. You didn’t want to go back inside, but you knew you couldn’t get away with going home. Most of your stuff was inside, anyway—your phone, your wallet, your bag. 
“Do you have a light?” 
You glanced up at the question, giving the man asking a small shake of your head. 
“No, sorry.” 
“Eh. I’ll find one.” The man reached into his pocket, tapping out two cigarettes. “Want one?”
“I’m good, but thank you.” 
He grunted, pushing the other one back into the pack before drawing one out and tucking it between his lips. He wandered away, and you leaned back against the outside of the club. 
Maybe you could slide into the booth, grab your things, say goodbye to Katie and Cory, and just dip without him noticing—
“Sure you don’t want one?” 
You looked up, nerves twisting as the man leaned close against the wall beside you. You shook your head, straightening up. 
“Honestly, I’m fine,” You insisted, heading for the door. 
“Hey, c’mon. You could at least keep me company,” The man argued, taking hold of your wrist and tugging you back toward him. Panic trickled through your veins as you tried to yank your wrist back, hissing, “Let go of me—”
“Hey!” 
You hardly caught sight of Bradley before he was shoving the man harshly against the wall. 
“The fuck, dude!” The smoker spluttered, dropping your wrist as he gave Bradley’s chest a shove in return. 
“She said let go, asshole,” Bradley seethed, knocking the man’s hands away. Oh, fuck. You glanced nervously toward the bouncer and the people waiting on line as they took notice of the trouble brewing. Bradley could not get into shit on the weekend of the wedding—Katie would kill you both. 
“He did, he let go! He let go,” You insisted, resting your hand on Bradley’s chest. When it didn’t nudge him back, you took hold of his hand, tugging him back with all your might and hardly budging him. “Let’s go!” You gave his arm another pull, pleading, “Bradley, please.” 
It took another harrowing moment of contentious staring between the two before Bradley drew away, his tight, sharp gaze still set on the other man. You gripped his hand more tightly, raising your other hand to press against his shoulder. 
“Let’s go back inside,” You urged. “Come on.” 
It took another couple of pulls before Bradley acquiesced, trailing you back toward the bouncer. He hesitated at the door, eyes still set on the man before he allowed you to pull him in. 
“Are you alright?” Were the first words out of his mouth. 
“Are you crazy?” Were yours as you ripped your hand away from his. “What the hell were you thinking!” 
Bradley looked stricken, brow knitting together. 
“The hell did you expect me to do? He was all over you!”
“Why did you even follow me outside?” 
“You practically ran out here, I thought something was wrong—and then I got out there and it was worse than I thought.” 
You sighed heavily, turning away and shaking your head. 
“Let’s just…Can we go back to the others?” You mumbled, turning from him. You heard him fall into step a couple of paces behind you, seeming to keep a measured distance as you made your way back to the rest of the wedding party. Once there, you embedded yourself deep into the corner with the bride and the other bridesmaids, forcing your smile wide and avoiding Bradley for the rest of the night. 
–  
It had been terrifying, having someone grab you—but the speed with which Bradley had come to your rescue was…Sort of hot? Sure, you could’ve gotten out of it yourself, but he hadn’t even hesitated. He’d gotten right up in that guy’s face—for you. You were certain that he would’ve done it for any of the other bridesmaids…Though you weren’t sure if he would’ve followed them outside…
No, he would’ve. Surely he would’ve. He was a good guy, it seemed like something he would do—
“Hey.” 
He was nice, and sweet, and…Really, really attractive, god. The look on his face, the cords of his neck straining as he’d shoved the man, as he’d hissed, She said let go, asshole—
“Hey!” 
You jumped at the feeling of Katie flicking the side of your head. The backseat of the uber was a tight squeeze with you, Karie, and Cory. You turned from looking out through the car window, smiling when you saw her watching you. Cozied into Cory’s side, she was peering at you with hazy blue eyes; her copper hair seemed dull under the glow of passing streetlights; her bride sash hung limply around her middle.
“What?” You chuckled. 
“What’s going on with you?” 
“What do you mean?” 
“You’re being all…” She waved a finger at you. “You’re being weird. What happened?” 
“Nothing happened.” 
“I heard Bradley tell Cory that someone grabbed you.” 
Your face burned with embarrassment, but you forced your expression to a neutral set.
“It was some drunk guy outside of the club,” You excused. “No big deal, you know. Nothing I’ve never dealt with.” 
“You were all weird when you came back, too. All quiet.” 
“It was loud in there, and I didn’t have much to say. I was vibing.” 
Katie’s eyes narrowed slightly, and you could feel her winding up for a question before she was distracted by the sound of Cory snoring behind her. You grinned as she shifted beside him, elbowing in the side with a hiss of, “Babe! Don’t snore, you’re gonna kill my uber rating!”
–  
Loading the favor bags into Bradley’s Bronco was done in awkward silence. Neither of you said much, apart from, “Here,” and, “Thanks,” and, “I can grab that one.” Despite how carefully they were cushioned as you put them into the car, you found yourself looking into the backseat every few moments as you heard the bottles rattling from some bump in the road. You glanced at Bradley as you turned to look through the windshield again. You weren’t hungover, but you did have a growing headache. 
“…Sorry I got snippy last night.” 
It sort of pained you to say it, but you’d been repeating it in your head for the last two hours. You had to work your way up to saying it. You’d played with the phrasing, the tone, the pace, and it still felt stupid as it came out of your mouth. Before Bradley could say anything, you added, “I know you were just trying to help and I shouldn’t have freaked out at you like that.” 
Bradley still didn’t respond, and it took everything in your power to not turn and look at him, to see if he was even listening, or if he was rolling his eyes. But after a moment, he offered, “S’alright. I may’ve overreacted a little.” 
“…I thought you were gonna slug the guy.” You were trying to tease him, but Bradley didn’t even miss a beat:
“I thought I was, too.” 
You turned to look at him then, stunned. Bradley kept his focus on the road, his jaw clenched, his gaze unreadable behind his sunglasses. You swallowed thickly, looking into the backseat again as the bottles rattled. 
“Would you stop fussin’ over those?” He groaned. “They’re fine.” 
“They better be. We don’t have any extras if they break.” 
“Want me to slow the car to fifteen miles an hour?” 
You could see him starting to smile in your periphery. Your stupid, crush-blind giddiness welled, feeling the tension in the car begin to break down. 
“No…” You twisted back around in your seat, slumping petulantly. “Twenty will be fine.” 
Bradley turned to look at you as the car came to a stop at a red light, gazing at you over the top of his sunglasses. 
“Twenty-three, final offer.” 
“Sold.”
Bradley’s smile made your stomach flip, and you both turned to look through the windshield again as the light turned green. 
–  
The wedding was perfect. The reception was painful. 
Liz seemed lovely, and for as kind as you were trying to be, your attempts were made even more difficult by your wealth of feeling for Bradley, and the adoring way that he curled his arm around her shoulders, pressed a kiss to her cheek, her lips, her temple; the way he offered to get her a drink, or something to eat; the way his hand slid automatically to her hip, or her lower back; the way he hung on her every word.
You didn’t belabor it. When you spotted the two of them dancing together, her body cradled safely against his, you furiously pushed away your feelings of inadequacy and upset away in favor of looking at Katie and Cory. You relaxed at the sight of them—at the love in their eyes, the sureness there.
It reminded you that loving someone wasn’t supposed to hurt. So whatever it was that you felt for Bradley could be left behind, in that room. You needed it to be. 
–  
“You missed the bouquet toss.” 
The sound of his voice made you shiver a little. Aw, hell. You’d only just managed to center yourself. Looking out over the moonlit ocean had calmed you, somewhat. But maybe whatever feelings you had for Bradley could be left…On the venue’s patio? But you glanced back, leaning against the railing and eyeing Bradley as he came closer. 
“I’m alright with that. The last time I was in the middle of one of those, I almost got socked in the face.” 
“Yeesh,” Bradley muttered.
“Yeah, bouquet tosses are no joke.” 
He rested his arms against the wide railing beside you, looking out over the water. The two of you stood in calm silence for a while.
“So when’s your next Maid of Honor gig?”
You smiled, shaking your head. “Hopefully not for a while. I think I need a break from the wedding circuit.” 
“You say circuit or circus?” 
“Bit of column A, bit of column B.” 
Bradley chuckled.
“Well, whenever it is, if you need a hand, you let me know.” 
“Even if you’re not involved in the wedding?” 
“Sure. This was honestly kinda fun. And it’s ‘cause I did it with you.” 
The butterflies in your chest whirled restlessly as you felt Bradley look at you. You forced yourself to laugh, shaking your head.
“I wouldn’t foist wedding duties on you if you weren’t part of the wedding, Bradley. That would be mean. I appreciate the offer, though.” 
“…Could I pick your brain about wedding stuff, sometime?” He hedged. “You know, as Liz and I get closer to ours?” 
You could say no. You could remind him of what you said, of the fact that you were getting off of the wedding circuit once this wedding was up. You could stick to your conviction that as the necessity for your proximity passed, you’d keep your distance from him— 
“Of course you can,” You nodded, turning to look at him. His sweet smile and the full weight of his gaze and focus were enough to crack you in two. 
“Dream team?” He asked, holding his hand up for a high five. You nodded, giving him a quick high five before you curled your arms around yourself. 
“Dream team.”
–  
It had been a mistake to reopen the lines of communication. You’d made the decision while tipsy, sending him an innocent, innocuous message. You hadn’t even expected a response—but he’d gotten back to you within minutes. You could’ve cut the communication dead there, but you’d found yourself grappling for connection, for the feeling of being wanted. You knew you’d get it from your ex, for better or for worse, and you needed something to drown the rotting buds of affection that you still felt blooming for Bradley. 
You hadn’t seen Bradley since the wedding, but the two of you had kept in touch. When he’d started calling you, most of the conversation had been around his wedding prep, but it hadn’t stayed that way. The two of you always managed to get off-topic—to ask and talk about one another’s lives, your days, your work. After the first couple of months, he seemed to drop the wedding chat entirely, just calling to talk. When you did try to steer it back in that direction—to a venue, or a time of year, or flowers—he managed to talk his way out of it. And you could’ve pried, but you let him avoid the topic. You were happy not to hear about Liz. Whenever your phone buzzed and his name appeared, your heart made a sharp leap from your chest to your throat. You craved the sound of his voice, missed the sight of his smile, reveled in his teasing and laughter. 
So sure, starting a conversation with your ex, Ryan, had been sort of stupid. But it felt smarter than allowing your crush for an engaged man to completely cloud your judgement.
– 
“Are you going to Cory and Katie’s for brunch this weekend?” 
“Is that this weekend?” You groaned, tipping your head back. “Fuck, I forgot.” 
“I thought you would’ve been on top of that! You were so on top of things for the wedding.” 
“Well, that was different. That was way more involved.” 
“Hey, brunch can be pretty damn involved.” 
“You speaking from experience, Bradshaw?” 
“I have faced some terrifying situations, but the worst of which was a bottomless brunch when they ran out of prosecco.” 
You rolled your eyes, shifting in your office chair and stifling a snort. 
“You’re such a weirdo.” 
“So am I gonna see you?” 
Am I gonna see you. 
Not are we going to see you—because presumably Liz would be there, too. A few months ago, Bradley had mentioned wanting to bring her more into the fold, into his group of friends. Most of his friends knew Cory and Katie; most of them would probably be at brunch. 
“Uh…” You eyed your calendar. “Maybe?” 
“You too busy for me now?” 
“For you?” You scoffed a laugh. “This isn’t your brunch, mister.” 
“No, I know. That’s not what I mean, it just…” 
Bradley trailed off on the other end of the phone, and you frowned, shaking your head. 
“‘It just’, what?” 
“It’s been a while since the wedding. It’d be nice to see you.” 
“It’d be nice to see you, too.” The admission felt dangerous, but it was too late to draw back in—and it was mutual. You wouldn’t have dared say it to him if he hadn’t said it first. 
“So come by,” He urged. “At least for a bit.” 
–  
For a bit. You could make it a short stop. 
“We’ll be fast,” You swore. “Like, a hello and a bellini and then we are out of there.” 
“Why are we going if you don’t even want to stay long?” 
It was a valid question, but it made you bristle a bit. It was clear that Ryan wasn’t excited to go. Well, he’d never gotten along with your friends, anyway. He’d had a feeling that they didn’t like him—and he had been right. You hadn’t told anyone that the two of you were seeing one another again, and maybe it was unfair to ambush them like this, but you didn’t think you could be around Bradley and Liz—around their cooing and teasing and sweetness—without something or someone to distract you from the reality of the situation. 
“You want me to drop you off somewhere?” You asked. “I can. I can drop you off and pick you up when I’m done.” 
“I’m only meant—” 
“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to go.”  
“I never said I didn’t wanna go.” 
“You’re acting like it.” 
“You’re the one saying we don’t have to say long!” He scoffed. “Can we park and get in there?” 
You puffed your cheeks out and pushed out a breath, shaking your head a little bit. This was a bad idea. Maybe you should turn around and head home—
But your heart leapt at the sight of Bradley’s Bronco parked a few cars back from Katie and Cory’s, and you knew you wouldn’t turn around. 
Quick in, quick out. One bellini, maybe half of a bagel, a warning that you had other plans and couldn’t stick around long. Ask Katie how the honeymoon was, tell Cory to call you when they needed to plan the baby shower, maybe high five Bradley, and then you’d dip.
“We always hang out with my friends,” Ryan grumbled as you parked. 
“Why is that even something you’d complain about?” 
“Because you hide me from yours.” 
You put the car in park, stomach churning guiltily as you met his eye. 
“You don’t like my friends,” You reminded him. 
“I’m willing to try, but they need to be, too.” 
“…Okay,” You nodded. “I’ll talk to them about it. Not now, but like. I’ll talk to them about it.” 
“Thank you.” 
You sighed softly, reaching out and taking his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry.” 
“I know.” Ryan tipped his head back against the rest, slightly mussing his ash blond hair. “I don’t get why you’re so freaked about this brunch thing. It’s, like. Supposed to be chill, right?” 
“It is. It is, it’s gonna be a lot of people, their apartment is pretty small. You know how I get when it’s loud and crowded, and…Overloads me.”
Ryan rolled his eyes, glancing toward the building.
“Let’s get you in and out, then,” He offered. “And then we can get me in and out.” He waggled his brows, and you huffed, drawing your hand out of his and getting out of the car. 
Ryan took hold of your hand again once the two of you were on the sidewalk, trailing you as you led him to the door of the apartment building. You could hear music and chatter coming from Katie and Cory’s. You drew in a deep breath before you raised your hand, knocking on the door. It was a moment before it opened, and as soon as it did, your heart stuttered in your chest.
Your attraction to Bradley had never faded like it was supposed to. You had worked at it. You’d reminded yourself of the pros and cons, beaten yourself over the head with the fact that he was with someone, in a committed relationship. You had pushed yourself back into Ryan’s arms because, for a time, you had felt wanted by him. Things had never been perfect between you. You butted heads, and you tended to not want to budge on your arguments. You were quick to anger with one another, with each little nitpick reopening the old wounds. Your relationship had been on-again off-again for a couple of years, with each period of on-again falling into the same patterns that had led to the two of you splitting up in the first place. 
This latest stint with Ryan had only been exacerbated by your frequent conversations with and interest in another man. Every conversation, every touch, hold, kiss, conversation, had been haunted with the idea of Bradley lingering in your periphery. 
“Hey!” Bradley grinned. He reached out, drawing you in without a second’s thought or hesitation. 
You leaned into him, curling your arm around his middle and patting his back. You held for as long as was appropriate, and not nearly as long as you’d like; the scent of him threatened to draw you back in. You would’ve embraced him fully if Ryan wasn’t still holding your other hand. 
“I can’t believe you made it—Katie literally just told me there was no way you were showing up,” He added, leaning back to get a better look at you. 
“Yeah, well,” You smiled weakly. “We can’t stay too long, but we wanted to drop in and see everyone.” 
Your repeated use of we seemed to jolt Bradley. His gaze dropped to your other hand, then swept up Ryan’s arm to take in his face. 
“Bradley, this is Ryan,” You added, stepping back to allow Ryan to come into the apartment fully. “Ryan, Bradley. Bradley was the Best Man at Katie and Cory’s wedding.” 
“Aw, yeah, I’ve seen pictures from the day-of,” Ryan held his hand out, giving Bradley’s a shake. “Nice to meet you, man.” 
“Nice to meet you, too,” Bradley nodded. 
“Where’s Liz!” You tacked on, glancing around. A look that you didn’t recognize flashed across Bradley’s face, but it was gone in a blink.
“Ah, she, uh…She couldn’t make it.” 
“Aw, I’m sorry,” You frowned—and you tried to mean it. 
“It’s alright. Come on, come in,” Bradley added, waving you inside. “Sorry, I shouldn’t stall you guys in the doorway.” 
“It’s okay,” You laughed, looking around before glancing back at Ryan. “Let’s see if we can go find the newlyweds.” You glanced up at Bradley, patting his shoulder lightly. “I’ll see you around.” 
It felt wrong to say—it felt worse when you saw Bradley’s expression falter a touch. But you were already turning away from him and heading for a group of a few of your friends. You saw the flash of their horror and confusion before they pushed smiles onto their faces, squealing, “Hey!” as a group. 
“Hi!” You smiled back, giving Ryan’s hand a reassuring squeeze. You leaned into each of them, kissing their cheeks before leaning back. Katie hardly leaned into you; her gaze was still set on your ex.
“Y’all remember Ryan,” You asked, waving back toward him. It garnered nods and murmurs of agreement. 
“Nice to see you,” He offered before he leaned in a little. “I’m going to go grab a drink. You want one?” 
“Sure,” You nodded, “Thanks.” 
Before you could blink, Ryan ducked in, pressing his lips to yours in a quick, warm kiss. He didn’t overdo it, or make it pointedly salacious for the sake of your friends, like he may have in the past. Now, he gave your lower back a pat and turned, heading away from you, and leaving your little group in a pointed silence. You didn’t meet any of their eyes. You stared at Katie’s glass and warned them: 
“I don’t want to talk about it right now.” 
It forced them off of the topic, and onto a new subject: Katie and Cory’s honeymoon in Ibiza. You found yourself half-listening; the other ear was unwittingly searching out the sound of Bradley’s voice in your periphery. You caught on it now and again for a syllable or two, and your head would twitch in his direction. It was impossible for you not to. As badly as you wanted to go to him—to soak up his smiles and his warm, kind eyes—you rooted yourself with your friends, averting your gaze from their nervous and judgemental glances. 
But when the conversation shifted again—when your ear caught on Ella’s comment of, “—A shame about Bradley and Liz, isn’t it?” Your head snapped to them.
“I know,” Katie sighed, shaking her head, “He’s such a good guy.” 
“What happened?” You frowned, shaking your head. The others glanced around conspiratorially before they leaned in a little more. 
“Apparently,” Katie leaned into it, “He and Liz, like…Imploded. She said it was taking them too long to get the wedding together, he said that it would take as long as they needed—” 
“Neither of them would budge,” Ella shrugged. “Apparently she eloped with some guy she met, like, the week after they split.” 
“Oh, my god,” You breathed. The news twisted you all up; you didn’t know how it was possible that someone could do that to Bradley. 
“Honestly, I don’t think she really even wanted to be married to him,” Cassie offered. “I think she just wanted to be married.” 
You found yourself twisting around to try and catch sight of Bradley then—like you could see some visible sign of the change, the distress; like the ring you’d come to imagine sitting on his finger had disappeared. 
And then Ryan rested a hand on your lower back and pressed a bellini into your hand, and it was like a bucket of ice water had been tipped over your head. 
Bradley hadn’t said a thing to you. You had been asking about Liz for months. You had questioned their plans: their honeymoon arrangements, their colors, their venue options; you’d offered to get him in touch with coordinators, with florists, and DJs and caterers and bakers and goddamnit, why hadn’t he told you? 
Why hadn’t he at least feigned that the wedding was on hold? That they were regrouping, or restrategizing, or asked you to change the topic, or to just shut the hell up about it? Had he not wanted you to know? Was it a matter of his loss, his pride? 
Finally catching sight of him across the room, you found him with a gaggle of guys. He had a glass in his hand, and a smile on his face as he laughed—the kind that made his eyes crinkle, and his chin tip up with the force of it. You saw his head turn toward you a touch, and you hurriedly averted your gaze, raising your glass to your lips and taking a deep draw from your glass. Fuck, fuck fuck fuck. The alcohol seemed to burn and bubble as it dropped into your belly. 
“Hon, are you okay?” Ella asked, frowning at you. “You’re looking a little green around the gills.” 
“Uh…No, you know what, I actually, um,” You cleared your throat. “I’m not feeling well. I think we should get going, actually, we’ve got some other things that we need to, um…” You cleared your throat, glancing back toward Ryan. He looked as confused as your friends. Maybe he figured the two of you would stay for more than five minutes. You were a flurry of apology as you pecked their cheeks, grabbing Ryan’s hand and half-dragging him out of the apartment. 
“They say something about me?” He asked tiredly as the two of you left. 
“No,” You shook your head, climbing into the car. “No, it really—I really do feel like shit right now.” 
Your heart was pounding in your chest; the blood was roaring in your ears; your head was spinning. You stuck the key into the ignition before you leaned back to put your seatbelt on, drawing in a deep breath as you tried to calm yourself down. 
“If you feel so shitty, you probably shouldn’t be driving,” Ryan grumbled. 
“I can handle it.”
“You could’ve at least waited for me to get something to eat—” 
“Oh my god,” You groaned. “Maybe you should’ve grabbed a bagel while you were already in the kitchen, then.” 
“You said you wanted a drink.” 
“You offered to get me one!” 
You turned to the car, turning the key in the ignition before glancing at Ryan, doing a double take and waving at his chest.
“…What?” He asked. 
“Would you put your fricking seatbelt on, please?” 
“Seriously?” 
“Yes, seriously!” You insisted. “God forbid something happen, I don’t want you flying through the fucking windshield—” 
“You know what?” Ryan reached out, opening the door. “I’m gonna walk.” 
“You’re gonna walk?” You scoffed. “You’re really gonna fucking—” 
You winced as he slammed the door shut. You shook your head, glancing into the rear view. Fucking fine. If he wanted to walk, he could fucking walk. You glanced to the side mirrors and checked your blindspot before flooring it out of the spot and peeling down the block. You glanced down as you heard your phone buzz, certain you would have a text from Ryan, asking you to pick him up at the corner. 
Instead, you spotted Bradley’s name. You found yourself pitching your phone into the passenger side footwell on instinct as you turned back to the road.
He hadn’t even thought about pulling you in when he saw you. He’d drawn you into his arms, completely disregarding Ryan—so much so that he seemed surprised when you pointed Ryan out. He’d acted like you were the only person there. 
You pressed your elbow against the door, resting your head on your head. 
Six months. You had been asking Bradley (or trying to ask Bradley) about the wedding for the last six months. He had played along. You felt stupid, embarrassed. 
And goddamnit, you felt hopeful. 
–  
When you finally got home and retrieved your phone from the car footwell, you had three texts and five missed calls. 
Three of the missed calls were from Ryan, as well as one of the texts—a request to sit down and hash out whatever the hell happened at the party. Another was from Katie (Bitch, you got a lot of explaining to do with a gif of Ricky Ricardo waggling his finger). You saw the missed calls and texts from Bradley last: 
BB (#DreamTeam)
Sorry I missed you on your way out
As if it was his fault.
Well, then again, it sort of was.
You eyed the last time he called; it had been a few minutes ago. You huffed softly, considering your options. You shot a text over to Ryan agreeing to meet first. You knew that delaying your response in favor of calling Bradley would send your guilt through the roof. Then, you hesitantly tapped on Bradley’s name, putting the phone on speaker. You glanced around, sighing and leaning back in the driver’s seat as the ringtone brrrr’d in the absence of his response. It was one ring away from going voicemail when you heard him pick up. 
“Hello?” He answered.
“Hey. Sorry, I was driving, I didn’t, uh—I didn’t see that you called.” 
“That’s okay.” 
You nodded a little before you paused, brows raising a touch. 
“So what’s up?” You finally pressed. 
“Seemed like you left in a hurry. I turned around and you were just gone.” 
“Something came up.” 
“Katie said you weren’t feeling well.” 
Snitch. 
“I wasn’t.” 
“Feeling better now?” Bradley pried, and before you could even think of your answer, “Wanna go grab a drink, or…Dinner, something?” 
You tipped your head back against the rest, closing your eyes. No. No. That was an awful idea. You needed to get together with Ryan as soon as possible, to get your shit together, to work out whatever you needed to work out—
–  
“You been here before?” You asked. 
“Uh—”
“Hey, Rooster!” 
Your brows raised as he raised a hand, waving at a woman not too far off. He turned a bashful smile toward you as he lowered his hand, folding his arms on the bar. 
“It’s near the base, so it’s pretty popular with people in the service.” 
“It’s nice in here,” You nodded, looking around. 
“Nicer than Katie’s?” 
He didn’t bother trying to be subtle, leaning into the question. You slowly turned to face forward again, casting the bartender a smile and a thanks as she set your drinks down. Bradley waited until she drifted away before he added, 
“You ran out of there like you were on fire.” 
“Thought you turned around I was just gone,” You reminded him, raising your brows. Bradley’s eyes skated across your face. 
“Saw you out of the corner of my eye,” He admitted. 
“How’d you know it was me?”
“I’ve seen you ditch out of somewhere before.” 
You turned from him, taking up your beer. 
“You need someone to sock that guy, I’m your first call,” Bradley added, and you couldn’t help but smile ruefully as you shook your head. 
“I don’t think that’ll be necessary.” 
“Katie said he doesn’t treat you right.” 
“The way Liz treated you?” 
It fell out of your mouth before you can stop it. You watched Bradley’s expression harden, his jaw clenching as his fingers flexed around the bottle in front of him. He didn’t hold your gaze. As bad as you felt for mentioning it, you couldn’t have it over your head anymore. 
“Why didn’t you tell me?” You plied when he gave no answer. “I asked about that shit for months, like a fricking idiot.” 
“You weren’t an idiot. You didn’t know.”
“Exactly my point! Why didn’t you at least pretend you had postponed it or something?” 
“I didn’t wanna talk about it. I still don’t.” 
“Then why’d you invite me out?” 
“I said I didn’t want to talk about that, not that I didn’t want to talk at all.” 
You both turned back to your drinks, gaze set contentiously on them. 
“…I take it Katie told you about Ryan?” You hedged.
“A bit, yeah.” 
“What’d she say?” 
“That he’s a dick who won’t compromise.” 
“Yeah, well,” You shifted on your bar stool. “I don’t exactly have a gold medal in that, either when it comes to him.” 
“Just him?” 
You considered for a moment, tipping your chin up and eyeing the opposite wall. 
“We butt heads, we always have. It always starts out pretty well, and then…I don’t know. Little things start to break down, little communication errors or fights and they get bigger and bigger, and,” You raised a hand, mimicking an explosion. “He was peeved when we went to Katie’s, thought I pulled him out of there because they said something to me about him. I mean, they would’ve, probably. And they clearly said something to you.” 
“She said she had no idea how you even linked back up.” 
“I texted him a kitty picture.” 
You saw Bradley frown out of the corner of your eye, his mouth working wordlessly as he seemed to grapple with something. It clicked, and you groaned, “No, an actual cat, you—” You reached out, giving his shoulder a light shove as the two of you dissolved into laughter, “You perv.” 
–  
You don’t let Bradley right back in, and you don’t show Ryan right out, either. Where your friendship with Bradley had been middling, your reopened channels of communication were slowly bringing it back to life. Where your relationship with Ryan had been waning, you gave it another shot in earnest. 
– 
“So when do I get to meet him?” Bradley asked.
“You already met him,” You chuckled. 
“Not properly. I didn’t get a chance to really talk to him.” 
“You want to?” 
Bradley leaned back in his seat a little. You could feel his gaze sweeping you, even as you poked at your dinner. 
“You don’t want me to?” He batted back. You shrugged. 
“I have no problem with it. Kinda surprised, considering what Katie’s told you about him.” 
“I like to draw my own conclusions. ‘Sides, if you’re with him, he can’t be all that bad.” 
“Your opinion of me is way too high, Bradshaw.” 
“Your opinion of yourself isn’t high enough.” 
Your stomach flipped at his insistence, and you raised your drink to swallow your arguments. 
“Gonna have to meet him soon,” He added. 
“Why’s that?” 
“I’m goin’ away.” 
He said it so casually, so easily, like it wouldn’t hit you below the belt and ruin your appetite. You carefully lowered your glass back to the table. 
“When?” You asked as lightly as you could manage. 
“Next week.” 
“How long will you be gone?” 
“At least a couple of months.” 
You nodded a little, belly squirming with nerves. It was a wholly irrational response. You knew very well what Bradley did. You just hadn’t come into contact with the reality of it before. 
“So?” He leaned against the table. “When can I meet him?”
“…I don’t know, I don’t…” You shook your head. “I don’t know when he’s, um…” Your brain was scrambled all of the sudden. It was like it was being overtaken with the knowledge of Bradley’s leaving, the possibilities. “I’ll ask.” 
“I’ll pencil it in.” 
“Am I gonna see you before I leave?” 
“With Ryan?” 
“I mean if he can’t make it.” 
You give Bradley a guarded gaze from beneath your eyelids, smiling as you see him nodding. 
“Course you’re gonna. Dream team, remember?” 
– 
“Think your guy can pencil me in for when I’m back?” 
You grimaced at his question. Bradley had been gone for almost a month, and asking that question for nearly just as long. Your phone time had only increased with his being so far away; you got a call from him every other day, if not every day. You shifted on your couch, eyeing your tv boredly. 
“Be kinda weird for you to hang out with a guy I’m not with anymore, but yeah, I’m sure we could work something out.” 
There was a moment of quiet on the other end of the phone before he asked, “When’d that happen?“
"Yesterday.”
“And what happened there?” 
“We were not, uh…” You shook your head. “Ultimately, we weren’t compatible. I think that’s the nice way to say it.” 
“What’s the mean way?” 
“He’s a fucking dumbass.” 
“Makes sense.”
“Does it?”
“Sure. Anyone who can’t make it work with you—there’s gotta be something wrong with ‘em.” 
You tipped your head back against your couch, your feet kicking with childish excitement. Ugh, goddamnit, he always seemed to know the right thing to say. 
“Anyway,” You pushed on as you settled back down. “I can still set you up with Ryan.” 
“No thank you.”
“Gee, why not?”
“He’s not really my type. Sounds like he’d be Liz’s, though.” 
You smiled a little ruefully, hand scrubbing over the side of your neck. It had taken some time, but Bradley had finally opened up to you about what had gone wrong. It hadn’t been anyone’s fault, he’d sworn. It was just that they were in different places, ready (or not ready) for different things. He’d gradually gone from not giving a damn what she’d gotten up to without him to wishing her well. You couldn’t imagine feeling the same good will toward Ryan. 
“Doesn’t seem like she needs a fix up,” You quipped.
“She certainly does not.” 
“Mm. How’s it going over there?”
“It’s been alright. Tiring,” Bradley admitted. “We’ve moved on to parameter-specific runs, and it’s, uh…It’s gonna be a hard one.” 
You bit your lip. You weren’t sure what to say that he surely hadn’t heard a hundred times before. Tell him that he would be fine? Beg him to come home safely? 
You hadn’t been able to spend time alone with Bradley before he’d left. Katie had wound up having a small dinner at her place—something for friends, something more casual. You couldn’t bring yourself to selfishly break off another bit of his time, and you’d soaked up all of him that you could while you were there. When the party had ended, you’d trailed him back to the Bronco. Your conversation had gone on and on outside of it, and then inside when you couldn’t bring yourself to stand still. Even then, practically facing one another in the front seat of his car, you’d found yourself feeling antsy. You’d wanted to tell him something beyond the fact that you would miss him. You wanted to tell him that you were worried about him; you wanted to somehow let him know that the news of his sudden departure had kept you up for the better part of a week; you wanted to know if he would be thinking of you, too; you wanted to reach out and touch—his hand, his arm, his cheek, something. 
But you’d kept to your side of the car, bottled your protests and worries, and resolutely tried to ignore the way your heart leapt in your throat whenever his knee nearly brushed yours. 
Now, the clarity of distance told you that you’d done the right thing. Laying some confession of interest or a kiss on him would’ve clouded the lines of communication that you had open now—lines that you weren’t willing to jeopardize. 
“You’ll get it,” You finally said, “Whatever it is.” 
“I’d tell you more, but—”
“No, that’s alright. I think that would just make me more worried, anyway.” 
“You worry about me?” 
Crap. You slid down in your seat, pressing your head back against the cushion. 
“Course I do,” You admitted quietly, as if he could lose the sound of you over the phone—as if your mumbled confirmation wouldn’t be chased or leaned into. 
“You don’t have to.” 
“Oh, well, thank you for that absolution. I was only worrying for fun.” 
“C’mon,” Bradley chuckled softly. “That’s not what I meant.” 
“I know,” You grumbled. 
“It’s nice.” 
“It’s nice? You enjoy making me worry? That’s just cruel, Bradshaw.” 
“Swear to god, when I get back, I’m gonna—” 
“What?” You goaded, heart ticking up in your chest. “What are you gonna do?” 
Maybe it was a step too far. Bradley went quiet on the other end of the phone. Your mouth went dry as you waited with nervous anticipation. And then you registered the yell of someone on the other end of the phone, the use of his callsign. 
“Shit,” He muttered, then, louder: “I gotta go.” 
“Okay,” You nodded. It was better that he couldn’t see the nod, or the way panic washed across your face. “Be careful.” 
He didn’t need to be told that, but you couldn’t help the plea. 
“I will,” He swore. And then he was gone. You lowered your phone, watching as BB (#DreamTeam) flickered away, leaving your lock screen. Gonna what? What the hell was he gonna do when he got back? 
Then again, you weren’t sure you cared what it was, so long as he did get back. 
–  
“Did I wake you up?” 
“No!” You leaned over, turning your lamp on and pushing yourself to sit up, your phone clutched in your hand. You knew that the first thing you’d said to him, your groggy little opening gambit of, “Whazzit?” had probably given the game away, but hell, he’d asked.
You’d hardly heard from Bradley for the last few weeks. You hadn’t reached out. You hadn’t wanted to bother or distract him from his task. But on the late nights when you couldn’t sleep, you found yourself wondering if Bradley hadn’t contacted you because he couldn’t—because something had gone wrong. You’d found yourself constantly checking your phone, keeping it on the edge of your periphery on the off-chance he called or texted. 
“You lying to me?” He added. At least he sounded a little amused by the prospect. You scrubbed your hand across your eyes. Damnit. 
“…A little bit,” You mumbled. 
“Go back to sleep.” 
“Nooo,” You whined, kicking your feet petulantly beneath your sheets. “Talk to me.” 
“You laying down?” 
“…I was.” 
“Lay back down.” 
The order felt a little salacious, but you were sure he meant nothing by it. Still, you slid down as he said, tipping your sleep-heavy head back against the pillows. 
“Talk to me,” You urged again. “Please?” 
“You should’ve let me go to voicemail.” 
“I said talk, not argue.” 
“Now who’s arguing?” 
You smiled, letting your eyes close. 
“‘M not arguing. Making a point isn’t arguing.” 
“It is when you use that tone.” 
“Are you okay?” 
“I’m fine.” 
His reassurance made you melt into the mattress a little more. 
“Good,” You mumbled. “I was afraid you weren’t.” 
“Don’t worry about that.” 
“Don’t tell me what to do.” 
“Now you’re arguing again,” He chuckled. “You always this combative when you wake up?” 
“Wouldn’t you like to know.” 
“…Yeah, I would.” 
For a moment, you were certain you imagined him saying it, or that you’d managed to mishear him in his hazy state. 
“You could, you know,” You finally offered.
“Oh yeah? How would I do that?” 
His voice was different than you were used to—low and soothing, and curled with a wink that you longed to see. 
“How do you think?” 
“Could always call you in the middle of the night again.” 
You pushed a sleepy, ugly giggle, then slapped your hand over your mouth when you realized that the sound escaped you. Bradley laughed quietly on the other end. 
“If that’s the route you wanna go, Bradshaw.” 
“I am sorry,” He added. “I forgot what time it was over there.” 
“S’okay, I don’t mind. I missed your voice.” 
God, being tired made you far more loose-lipped than you typically were. You were already penciling in a reminder to be mortified about this conversation in the morning. But it was chased and erased by Bradley’s gentle, 
“I missed yours, too.” 
Your stomach squirmed at the sentiment, a goofy smile spreading across your face. 
“Even when it sounds like I’ve been gargling gravel?” You teased. 
“You don’t sound like that.” 
It took you a few moments to answer. As badly as you wanted to stay awake, you could feel sleep sinking its claws into you, drawing you back down. 
“No? Feels like I do.” 
“You don’t. You might if you stay up talking to me, though.” 
“Worth it,” You insisted. You didn’t know if he took longer to answer, or if it took longer to register with you. But his voice finally worked through:
“Go back to sleep.” 
“I don’t wanna.”
“I’ll see you soon.” 
“You promise?” 
“I promise.” 
“Mmmkay,” You finally relented. “Get home safe, please.” 
“I will.” 
–  
In the morning, you were far less embarrassed than you thought you would be. Sure, there were still things that you sort of wish that you hadn’t said, but they were clouded out by other things—like the way Bradley had reassured you that you didn’t sound like hell, and the fact that he’d missed your voice in the first place. 
Still, all of those things were stomped out by one thing that you were almost certain had been a figment of your sleep-addled mind, something that you wanted desperately to be real, but would never bring yourself to ask Bradley about—
The sound of his warm, tender little murmur right before you’d drifted off entirely: 
“Goodnight, sweetheart.”
You spent the morning stewing over whether or not you’d really heard Bradley say that, or if you’d conjured it up. Maybe it was something that you simply wanted so badly that you had imagined it. 
Your eyes kept darting to your phone during work, your heart leaping into your throat every time the screen lit up. It was usually some app alert. Every time you perked up at the sight of it only to be let down, you felt silly. It was another entire day of ebbing excitement and rising disappointment, raising your hopes for absolutely nothing. By the time you left your office, you’d exhausted yourself. You were being ridiculous. Sure, he’d said he’d see you soon, but that was probably relative to—
“Did you manage to fall back asleep? Or did you stop talking because you were bored with me?” 
Your eyes widened, your mouth falling open at the sight of him outside your office building. You didn’t even think as you darted toward him, barrelling into him. Bradley took hold of you as though you hadn’t run into him with any force. He held firm, curling his arms around your shoulders as you clung to him. Neither of you spoke for a few minutes. He smoothed his hand over your back as you grappled with it all—the feel of him; the scent of his cologne and aftershave; the fact that you could see him, touch him, prove to yourself that he was okay. 
When you finally managed to talk yourself into loosening your grasp, you drew back a little, your bashful embarrassment bubbling up and trying to overtake the joy that you felt. Bradley simply smiled, cupping your cheek in a way that made your heart sing. 
“Hi there,” He murmured.
“Hi,” You laughed nervously. “I’m sorry, I didn’t—I wasn’t thinking.” 
“S’alright,” He shook his head. “I’m not complaining.” 
“When you said you’d see me soon, I didn’t think you meant so soon.” 
“I know. I wanted to surprise you.” 
“Well, mission accomplished.” 
His thumb swept gently over the apple of your cheek, his smile pulling wide to match yours. 
“When did you get back?” You asked.
“Couple of hours ago.” 
And he was there, with you? Your fingers tightened in the fabric of his shirt. 
“Aren’t you tired?”
“A little.” 
“Are you hungry?” 
“I could eat.” 
“What do you want?” 
Bradley’s tongue swept across his lips, his eyes skimming your face for a moment. Then, seeming to rethink something, he shrugged. 
“Whatever you’ve got.” 
–  
Technically you didn’t have much, but Bradley didn’t gripe about ordering in pizza. Hell, when you suggested it, he let out a groan that rattled right through you before emphatically agreeing: 
“Fuck yes. Please.” 
The way he said it stuck with you for entirely the wrong reason, and you found yourself almost studiously perusing a delivery app for the best option to keep him from clocking your aroused embarrassment. You didn’t have a dining room table, so the two of you wound up eating side by side, close, with some nonsense tv show that neither of you were really paying attention to playing in the background. When you asked about how it had gone, as delicately as possible, he shrugged.
“I won’t pretend it was the worst mission I’ve ever flown,” He said. “But I’m going to pretend that it was the best, either.” 
He didn’t go into specifics, but that was alright. You still weren’t quite certain that you wanted him to. The less you knew, the better. Besides, it didn’t matter, anyway. He was there, safe, with you. 
“Well,” You leaned back, on your couch, dusting the crumbs off of your fingers. “I’m glad it worked out.” “Mm,” He nodded, pushing his plate away before he looked around. You raised your brows as he lowered his hand to the cushions, giving them a squeeze. 
“So,” He smiled, “This where you usually call me from?” 
“Usually.”
“Even last night?” 
“Last night was a bit of an exception. I think we both know that.” 
“Where were you?” 
You nodded toward the hall. “My room. That’s where I gargle gravel.” 
“I told you you didn’t sound bad,” Bradley laughed.  
“Yeah, you did, and I still don’t believe you.” 
Bradley shook his head a little. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see his hand sliding across the cushion, a little closer to you. 
“You sounded good,” He insisted. 
“Good might be stretching it.” 
“Good’s the tip of the iceberg.” 
Your tummy fluttered at the feeling of his fingertips tenderly skating over the back of your hand. Your fingers wriggled, like it would entice him to touch you more—like if you didn’t move, didn’t react, he’d pull away or stop. Bradley lowered his gaze to your hands, and your breath caught in your throat as you felt him gently turn yours, his calloused fingertips skating across your palm. 
“…Bradley?” 
“Mhm?” 
“This may be an incredibly dumb question—” 
“Doubt it.”
“Wh—” You laughed nervously before you could finish the question. “Why did you…I mean, you just got back. Why’d you come see me?” 
“Because I missed you.” He took hold of your hand, his thumb sweeping along the side. “I needed to see you.” 
The word makes your pulse quicken, and you blink a few times to try and clear your swimming head. 
“…Needed?” You repeated dazedly. Bradley nodded, lifting his head to meet your eye. 
“Needed, sweetheart.” 
The way he said it was so soft, and warm, and so perfectly familiar that you could’ve cried. But Bradley was already cradling your cheek, already drawing you close and leaning in to meet you halfway. You raised your other hand, cupping the side of his neck as your lips met for the first time. Your eyes closed as you savored the tender slip and press of his kiss. The mustache was a little bristly, but hardly as intrusive as you thought it may be. The slight tickle of it made you smile. 
Bradley drew back, pressing a kiss to your cheek, then your jaw before he pressed his face into your neck. 
“Goddamn,” He mumbled, voice rumbling against your skin. “I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.” 
“You have?” You asked, sliding your hand up into his hair. 
“Longer than I should’ve been.” 
You bit your lip, resting your head against his. 
“If it makes you feel any better, so have I.” 
He pressed a sweet kiss to the crook of your neck before sweeping his lips over your neck and jaw, up to your ear.
“It does.”
You shivered at the caress of his breath. You turned your head shyly, nuzzling the tip of his nose with yours before tipping your chin up, giving him another gentle kiss. Bradley sighed into you, his grip in your hand tightening as you shifted closer to him. You hummed softly as he leaned back, resting his forehead against yours, chasing his lips for another peck.
“Before I completely monopolize your time, is there anything else that you planned on doing tonight?” You asked. Bradley chuckled, shaking his head.
“I did want to do one thing.”
You tried not to let your disappointment show as you, just nodded.
“What’s that?”
“See how combative you are when you wake up.”
You grinned wide, raising your hand and curling it in his collar, drawing him closer.
“Just you wait, mister.”
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trickphotography2 · 1 year
Text
D-Day by TrickPhotography | Chapter 1
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Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x female!reader
Word count: 3k
Synopsis: After finding out his girlfriend is pregnant, Jake is ready to move in and get married. The last thing he expected was to be hit with a six-month deployment at sea and missing the birth of his first child.
Master List | Ao3
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Chapter 1
The heat of the flight line radiated up through your flats as you raised your hand to shield your eyes, tracking the contrails of the incoming jets - the newest batch of F-35 Lightnings. The DoD had recently increased the number of planes they had ordered from your company, and as one of the contract writers based on the West Coast, you had the pleasure of being on the flight line when they were delivered. After inspecting the merchandise, the Navy pilots jumped into the cockpits to take their new jets for a joy ride. You smiled, watching one tip the wings before climbing steeply. To this day, feeling the roar of an engine in your chest and seeing the beauty of the afterburner made you think of your dad. Snapping a quick picture to send him later, you turned to join your coworkers in the shady hangar. 
The small crowd had grown, circling and ducking under the planes to get a closer look. When you lifted your phone again to take a picture of the tail code, you heard someone behind you. “Want me to get one with you in it?” 
“I’m good, thanks,” you said before turning to face him. His green eyes snapped up to your face - he’d clearly been checking you out. Forcing yourself to take a deep breath, you plastered on your customer service expression. “Are you one of the Lightning crew?” 
“No, just coming to check out the new toys. I fly a Super Hornet.” 
“Nice,” you replied, eyes drifting down to read his name badge - Seresin. When you met his gaze again, he smirked, crossing his arms over his chest and drawing attention to his biceps - you’d seen that move used too many times - and nodded to the plane.  
“You one of the engineers?”
“No,” you replied, feeling a slight twinge of regret. “Just a paper pusher.” 
“That right?” 
“Yup.” 
“Any idea what the top speed for one of those is?” he asked, tipping his chin towards the F-35. 
“A little less than the Super Hornet - Mach 1.6 with a full weapons load. Better stealth capabilities, though.”
“More expensive, from what I’ve heard.”
“Well, upgrading old tech comes with a price tag. And they’ll be less expensive to maintain than the F-18.”
“The Super Hornet isn’t old tech,” he replied, the corner of his mouth tipping down. 
“Of course not. For a fourth-gen fighter, it’s holding up well, but times are changing and so is air warfare. For example, the F-18 would have difficulty doing an ISR mission whereas our F-35 would be well up to mission parameters.” 
“If they’re sending in the F-18, the time for intel and surveillance is over and it’s time to get down to business.” 
“Of course…for air-to-air combat. Or the F-35 can continue the mission with its wide weapons array and ability to do air-to-air and air-to-ground combat.” 
“Not certified for a nuke, though.”
“Not yet, but we’re working on that certification,” you shot back. “The ability to take off and land vertically is a nice trade-off, though. How long of a runway does the F-18 need again?”
“Less than a thousand on a carrier.” Behind you, you heard someone call ‘Hangman!’ and Seresin lifted his head in acknowledgment. 
“Exactly.” 
“You sure you’re not an engineer?” 
“Just a good saleswoman. Give it a few years, and you’ll also be in one of our jets. You’ll have to tell me how it compares to the Super Hornet.” Glancing at his collar and clocking the double bars, you smiled and tilted your head. “It was lovely chatting with you, Lieutenant Seresin. I’ll let you get to your friends now.” With that, you turned and walked to join your colleagues. 
“Nice chatting with you, Ma’am,” he called out. You felt his eyes on your back but, as a woman in the male-dominated defense contracting industry, it wasn’t uncommon. This was exactly why you dressed in slacks and loose blouses more often than not - no need to draw more attention than necessary. That hadn’t stopped you from updating your resume more than once after a rough day at work, ignoring one too many comments from old men who thought you were a secretary instead of someone in charge of multimillion-dollar negotiations. At least the pilot had called you an engineer. 
“Happy hour?” your boss asked, throwing an unwelcome arm over your shoulder and pulling you into his side. You pasted on an uncomfortable smile and nodded, wanting nothing more than to go home and open a bottle of wine on your own.
Growing up, you’d never imagined being a defense contractor. While other little girls dreamed of being a teacher or president, you dreamed of being in the Air Force. Your dad had been a jet engine mechanic for the Air Force and loved nothing more than bringing you to the test cells to see what the squadron was working on. When your family moved to Japan, he would sit on the back patio overlooking the flight line at sunset, pointing out each plane landing to you. He quizzed you on the tail codes until you could identify where most planes were based. Back stateside, you went to every airshow nearby, watching the beauty of physics and engineering lifting the plane from the ground, the acrobatic twists of the jets, and the majestic thrumming of the C-130’s turboprops. Once you got your license, there was no greater thrill than driving your dad’s Mustang with the top down on the base and seeing the jets descending on the flight line next to you. 
For a long time, everyone in your family thought you would follow in his footsteps. You’d taken the ASVAB and SAT’s to keep your options open. When you qualified to go into mechanics, recruiters from every branch called and pressed you to come to sign papers to enlist. You kept pushing them off, wanting to keep your options open as long as possible as you waited for the responses from your college applications. And besides, it was blue or bust - there was no way you would go into any branch other than the Air Force. In the meantime, Dad worked with you to prepare for basic training. Running, push-ups, and pull-ups became your after-school workout. He took you on base to talk to some of the women in his squadron. They were frank with you about the benefits and downsides of the military - the pay was okay and the travel was great, but you had to put up with a lot of shit. Being away from family was hard, and there was no control over where you moved. Too many of them had stories about sexual harassment. But if you were going to join a branch, the Air Force was the way to go. 
After that talk, you went to lunch with your dad. He wanted you to know what you would be getting into if you joined. While he loved his time in the service and what it had given your family, it would be different for you. You would face things he couldn’t imagine being a woman in the military. He assured you that he didn’t want you to decide based on his feelings but only what you wanted. 
You enrolled in college two hours from home that fall and decided to pursue engineering. If you weren’t in the Air Force, you could at least be near planes. Sure, the math was hard, but it wasn’t impossible. There were lots of nights spent huddled in the library, working through your physics and thermodynamics homework instead of hitting up the bars with your roommates. The hardest part of school was dealing with your classmates. Most of the time, you were the only woman in the class. Sexist jokes came from classmates and professors. 
“If you’re just trying to get an MRS degree, I’d be happy to make that sacrifice for you,” one guy said, winking over the top of his laptop. 
You made sure to study extra hard for the next test and smirked in his direction when you set the exam curve.  
College wasn’t all work, though. You found time to date, trying to avoid STEM boys in favor of social sciences and humanities (finance and business guys were too arrogent). You lost your virginity after a night at the club where your boyfriend used his fake ID to get banded, chasing shots with horrible gin and tonic. It was okay - the touch was nice but you hadn’t gotten off. When recapping with your friends the next morning, they assured you that sex got better. It didn’t with that particular guy and you broke it off before the end of the semester. 
After twenty-six years in the military, your dad announced his retirement. You traveled home for the ceremony, crying with your mom when he thanked you both for going on the adventure of a lifetime with him.
Less than a year later, he was diagnosed with colon cancer.
Angry that something like this could happen to him, you dove into researching what could have caused it. And, buried in a journal online, you found a study linking jet fuel to colon cancer. 
Your parents were confused when you changed your major. Your advisor tried to talk you out of it - your grades were decent, and you were halfway through the program. Desperate to graduate on time and avoid STEM, you switch to English and turned your analytical brain to rhetoric and editing. 
Dad breezed through chemo, walking miles around the hospital during his sessions. You picked up an extra shift at the grocery store when he asked you to see an airshow with him. When you came home for Thanksgiving, he tossed you the keys to the Mustang and said it was time for a cruise on the beach. You put the top down while your dad collected the list of things to pick up from the base commissary on the way home. 
The breeze off the Gulf was cold but you didn’t care - Dad cranked the heater and music, grinning at you as you easily navigated the slower traffic. When you first got your license, he’d nicknamed you his fighter pilot with how you forced your way into spots between vehicles. You were never sure if it was a compliment or not. But today… today he was happy, and you could ignore the chemo port on his chest that tented his shirt and try to forget why he was bald.
You switched in a parking lot, and he drove you onto the base. But rather than go straight to the commissary, he followed the road to his old squad headquarters. When you asked what you were doing there, he shrugged while putting the top up, said he needed to drop something off and motioned for you to come inside. You refused. But when he was inside for over half an hour, and the car started to swelter, you got out and followed him. When you tentatively knocked on the door he’d gone through, it swung open and an airman smiled before handing you a pair of ear protectors and motioning you in.
Dad stood at the observation deck, watching the engine cycle through the start-up and cool down, the glow of the afterburn reflecting in his eyes. You could smell the jet fuel and felt bile rise in your throat. When the engine stopped screaming, you grabbed your dad’s hand and asked to leave. After waving goodbye to his friends, he led you outside. Rather than going to the car, however, he pulled you into the hanger. Grinning, he walked towards the F-35 and raised his hand to run it along the wing.
“I miss this,” he said, turning back to smile at you. “Where’s this one from?” 
“Cannon, New Mexico,” you replied after glancing at the tail code, the fuel smell choking you. “Can we get out of here?” 
“Come on, kiddo, let your old man have a moment to relive his glory days.”
“Your glory days are what’s trying to kill you,” you snapped without thinking. Dad’s arm dropped, and he turned to face you, raising an eyebrow. His calm expression was so frustrating that you couldn’t hold it in any longer - it didn’t matter that two men were sitting on top of the plane next to you. “This is what’s trying to kill you, Dad! The fucking jet fuel you breathed in every day had carcinogens, and you want to stay here longer to breathe more of it in?” 
A few tears escaped your tight control as you turned on your heel and stormed out of the hanger. Your nails dug into your palms as you collapsed back into the car passenger seat. It was a few minutes later that he joined you. Rather than turning the ignition, he stared out the windshield. “Is this why you dropped out of engineering?” You stayed silent. “Honey, talk to me. Your mom and I are worried.” Slowly, you nodded, feeling his eyes on you. When he reached for your hand, you let him take it. “Look at me, please. I need you to hear me when I say this to you, young lady.”
“What?”
“We’re never gonna know what caused this cancer, okay? Yeah, it might have been the fuel or a million other things. But you don’t get to give up your dream because of this, alright? You don’t get to give up something you love because of something that happened to me.” 
“It’s not just happening to you, Dad,” you whispered. 
“I know, sweetheart. But I’m okay, and I want you to be, too. And if that means you never get near another plane again, I’ll be sad to lose my co-pilot, but I’ll support you. I won’t ask you to do anything you don’t want to, but don’t lose your passion because of me.” 
True to his word, Dad hadn’t asked you to attend any airshows with him but would mention them in passing when you called to check-in. When he got his clean bill of health, they threw a party and some of his airmen dropped by the house to celebrate, bringing him a model of the F-15s he’d worked on as a gift. He returned to work as a defense contractor and was back on the flight line doing quality assurance checks after repairs were finished. And he stayed in remission. With each clean bill of health his oncologist gave him, the more you found yourself looking at his memorabilia around the house - pictures of the planes he’d worked on, model airplanes, and squadron plaques. It was too late to return to engineering, but you found yourself wandering to the university career center to see their suggestions to combine your love of aircraft with writing. They helped you draft your resume, and when you graduated with your degree in english with a minor in engineering, you’d secured a job with one of the largest defense contracting companies in the US in their contract writing division. 
“To another successful delivery!” Dutifully, you and your coworkers raised your glasses to toast the latest success. While they tossed back their drinks to make the most of the happy hour special, you nursed your beer while picking at the pretzel bites you’d ordered. They’d chosen a bar not far from the base, but on the opposite side of town from your apartment. Your eyes drifted across the other patrons, not really taking anyone. 
When your beer was almost gone, you excused yourself and walked to the restroom to wash the pretzel salt and oil from your hands, ready to escape for the evening. But when you walked back into the bar, one of the servers stopped you. “A guy over there wanted me to give this to you,” she said, handing you a fresh beer. Glancing at it, you frowned, wondering if one of your coworkers was playing a joke on you. 
“Who?” you asked. Turning, she pointed to a man in khaki leaning against the bar and talking to someone. As if feeling your gaze, he turned and smirked, lifting his drink and nodding. 
Seresin. 
Taking a deep breath and steeling your shoulders, you thanked her and took the beer. Glancing at your coworkers to ensure they weren’t watching, you walked toward the bar, feeling his eyes on you the whole time. You would return the beer, thank him, and then head home to relax. As you neared, he pushed off the bar with a smile and wink before retreating towards the dartboard where a group of Navy guys were congregated. Debating the merits of confronting him in front of a group or sucking it up, you swallowed your pride. You took a sip of the beer, and resigned yourself to at least another half an hour there, listening to some truly atrocious stories about dating and time in the military from your coworkers. 
When the second beer was finished, you quickly said goodnight to your coworkers and went to the bar to close out your tab. “Looks like it’s already covered,” the bartender said when you flagged him down.
“What do you mean? I didn’t leave my card with you.”
“Looks like someone picked it up and left this,” he shrugged, passing you a napkin. Nothing sexier than a woman who knows her way around a jet. Dinner? You looked at the phone number and took a deep breath. 
“I’d like to close out that gentleman’s tab,” you said, handing over your credit card. While he rang you out, you grabbed one of your business cards from your wallet, crossed out your office phone number, and underscored your job title. On the back you wrote 1) Thank you 2) Not a tag chaser 3) I don’t date boys in bags 4) CONFLICT OF INTEREST
When he handed you the receipt to sign, you asked him to give the card to Seresin. Then, leaving the napkin on the bar, you turned and saw him frowning in your direction. Smiling, you waved before making your way outside. 
Your pajamas were calling.
-----------------------------------------
Author's note: The connection between jet fuel and cancer is my dad's story. He's thankfully fine. Tag chasers are people who actively try to date military members (usually for the benefits), and boys in bags is a reference to men in flight suits.
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A Spoiler-Free Guide for Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War
With a short introduction, mechanics, and notable sticky situations.
(A PDF version of this guide is available upon request.)
Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War is a SRPG (Simulation RPG) for the Super Famicom, released in 1996. You have likely arrived at this guide either because someone has recommended it to you or because, far in the future after I have written this, a remake of it has released and you want to go back and play the original to see what has changed and what hasn't. Either way, you were likely inspired to play it from its strong story- rumored or experienced- and aren't too clear on what the mechanics of it are. Maybe you've played a number of Fire Emblem games, but are nervous about this one due to its reputation as an odd duck. Maybe you've never touched a SRPG before, and have a very excited Jugdral fan of a friend shepherding you into playing it. Either way, this guide is for you.
This guide will attempt to avoid spoiling any story events, but for those who mind gameplay spoilers, it is organized in ascending order of how obscure each gameplay feature is to stumble upon- the last two sections (Sticky Situations and Secret Events) in particular are not usually encountered by an unspoiled first-time player. Nevertheless, I highly recommend at least reading up to the fourth to last section, "Recruitments"; it contains no identifying character information besides time of encounter and class, and you will likely reach no end of frustration attempting some of them without foreknowledge (or some very good guesses). NOTE: List of Conversations (Section 8b) does contain spoilers for recruitable characters. Peruse that section with caution if you do read past the Recruitments section.
This guide is meant for use with the Project Naga patch, though some characters will be referred to by their more modern names; these will be indicated with a slash mark between the two. (E.g. Edain/Aideen.)
Table of Contents: Section 1. The Small Differences of Genealogy of the Holy War Section 2. Main Objectives Section 3. Finances and Resource Management Section 4. Skills Section 5. Side Objectives Section 6. Genealogy Section 7. Recruitments Section 8. Conversations Section 9. Sticky Situations Section 10. Secret Events
Section 1. The Small Differences of Genealogy of the Holy War
Genealogy of the Holy War is similar to most other Fire Emblem games in the broad strokes of its mechanics. It has general gameplay of fighting enemy units with your army on a grid-based map, chance-based unit growth, most of your usual classes and weapons, et cetera. However, it has a number of differences, large and small, with later (and earlier) Fire Emblem games, some of which may make gameplay more difficult if unknown. The small differences are catalogued here.
1a. Movement
There are two principal differences to movement in Genealogy compared to in other Fire Emblem games. Firstly, all mounted units may move with their remaining movement after performing any action except conversation or seizing of a castle. Secondly, though terrain in this game that decreases movement exists as usual, there is also some terrain that increases movement; when walking on roads, all units may move 1.4x as many spaces as usual, rounded down. So, for example, a paladin (9 mov) on roads may move 12.6 spaces, but this is rounded down to 12. As a trade-off for this, roads, like some rare terrain seen in other Fire Emblem games, lower the avoid of any unit standing on them by 10% (represented by the small shield icon in the terrain window):
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1b. Follow-up Attacks
While units in most Fire Emblem games can attack an enemy unit twice if they are faster by a certain amount, units in Genealogy require a skill to do so. This skill is called Pursuit (or Follow-Up, depending on your translation.) There are ways to attack more than once without Pursuit, but they are either more rare or not guaranteed. Pursuit allows for a follow-up attack if a unit's attack speed is greater than that of their opponent by 1 or more points.
1c. Critical Hits and Effective Damage
Much like follow-up attacks, units in Genealogy cannot naturally perform critical hits. There are four ways to perform a critical hit on most enemies in Genealogy: Being next to an immediate family member or lover (flat 20% critical hit rate bonus to anyone, including those who cannot naturally crit); having the Critical skill (skill% chance); or using a weapon that has been used to kill at least 50 enemies (skill% chance, plus 1% for each enemy killed above 50, up to 50% bonus at 100 kills); or having the Wrath skill (guaranteed critical hit as long as you are at 50%+1 HP or lower).
Critical hits in Genealogy follow the damage formula of doubling a unit's attack power before subtracting enemy defensive stats, rather than the more common tripling of a unit's damage output after enemy defense is subtracted. They are generally much more useful in the hands of units with lower Attack than normal.
Effective damage in Genealogy (bows vs. fliers, etc.) is simply calculated as an automatic critical hit on the target unit (if the attacking unit hits, of course.)
There is no critical avoid (dodge) stat in Genealogy.
Also, the minimum damage for any attack which lands is 1.
1d. Weapon Weight
All weapons in Genealogy have a weight stat. This stat is subtracted from the attack speed of the unit wielding the weapon. There is no way to counteract this speed penalty, and attack speed may be decreased below zero when utilizing particularly heavy weapons. This can lead to a negative Avoid stat.
1e. Weapon Repair
Weapons in Genealogy are infinitely reparable at any castle on the map. The price of repair is equal to the weapon's price, divided by the number of uses the weapon has when new, times the number of uses to be repaired.
For example, repairing a 38 use Silver Sword to full durability costs 5000 (sale price) / 50 (maximum uses) * 12 (uses missing) = 1200 gold.
Each weapon in the game that the player can receive is unique.
1f. Weapon Triangle
The weapon triangle in Genealogy of the Holy War is generally similar to in other Fire Emblem games. However, it is notably stronger; units gain Hit/Avo ±20 for advantage/disadvantage. Additionally, there is a magic "triangle", which functions similarly.
The weapon triangle is Swords>Axes>Lances>Swords
The anima magic triangle is Fire>Wind>Thunder>Fire
The interaction of light and dark magic with other varieties is Light=Dark>Fire/Wind/Thunder
1g. Experience Gain and Class Change
Units gain experience based on their level in relation to the enemy's. The lower their level is in comparison to the enemy's, the greater their experience gain. Class changes don't affect level; you will gain equal experience as a level 1 Knight Lord and a level 1 Troubadour.
Class changes can be performed once a unit reaches level 20, if they are not already a promoted class. They can be performed using the Class Change option at one's home castle. There is no reason not to promote as soon as possible; all classes have a flat level cap of 30.
The stat caps for each class are each class' stat bases plus 15, excepting HP which caps at 80. There is data out there on the base stats; however, I won't go into it here.
1h. Weapon Level
If you've played Engage, you'll be familiar with this, but if not: weapon level is inherent to the class a unit occupies, and can only be changed by class change or personal modifiers (more on the latter in the Genealogy section.) So, if your paladin has B swords, he will never have A swords, even if other paladins you encounter might have the latter.
1j. Enemy Reinforcements
Reinforcements generally do not spawn on the map as in other Fire Emblem games; they will almost always appear from the mouth of a castle. If you defeat all of an enemy commander's allied units and said commander is capable of movement, they will return to the castle they came from, enter it, and 1-2 turns later exit it with a squad of new units statistically identical to their previous squad.
1k. Saving
At the start of each turn, before you have moved any units, you can save in the map menu (i.e. the menu that appears when you press A on the map.) It's highly recommended to keep at least two saves; one save every turn, and one save after you capture a new castle. You can set the game to save automatically each turn in the Options menu by scrolling down to Autosave and selecting a slot (1 to 4).
Section 2. Main Objectives
2a. Seizing Castles
Chapter progression is made by seizing enemy castles after defeating the boss standing on them. Theoretically, castles may be captured in any order that you like; in practice, in most cases the way ahead to the next castle will be blocked until you capture the previous castle.
When you seize a castle, a short cutscene will play and the enemy units whose allegiance lies with that castle will disappear (allegiance can be checked in the second page of the unit menu; this same page contains skills and weapon level). At the start of the next enemy phase, the "[Name] castle seized" map events will trigger; formerly neutral castles may turn red, enemy and ally units may spawn, and terrain may be changed (for example, a bridge may be lowered or raised, a path may appear through difficult terrain, a gate may be opened, etc.) Keep an eye on castles you have not yet seized due to this.
Allied (green) and neutral (yellow) castles cannot be seized, and may lack some amenities of allied castles upon entrance.
2b. Losing Castles
Any enemy unit who reaches the entrance of a castle (that is not their own) will capture it. Allied and neutral castles will become enemy castles when this happens, and can be recaptured by your own units; however, player castles will be pillaged and will no longer be able to be recaptured.
If the player's home castle (the castle where you start the chapter) is captured by the enemy, it's game over, and you'll have to restart from your last save.
Section 3. Finances and Resource Management
3a. Unit-Specific Gold Pools and Trading
Unlike in every other Fire Emblem game to date, units in Genealogy have their own specific gold pools. They cannot trade gold with other units, unless those units are their lovers; if so, they can use the Give Gold command to give their lover all of their money.
Units also cannot trade with each other. In order to exchange items, they will have to sell them off at the Pawn Shop in the castle menu, where another unit may rebuy them for twice the sale price. Therefore, it's best to think carefully about who should defeat enemy units when a droppable item is in play. The money cap in the wallet is 50,000 gold; if you're reaching that cap, consider spending it on something so you don't waste any new money you earn.
3b. Thieves
Thieves are an exception to the above gold rules. Though they still can't receive gold from just anyone, they can attack enemy units to steal all the gold in their wallet. Additionally, they can give gold to any unit in the army.
3d. The Arena
Each chapter, beginning with Chapter 1, has an arena. This arena consists of seven opponents per chapter whom, upon defeat, will give the unit who defeated them experience and 1000-4000 gold (beginning with the weakest and increasing by 500 until the strongest is reached.) All units can enter the arena as many times as they like until they've reaped all the rewards- each and every unit in your army may face and defeat the seven opponents, rather than just one. If your unit's HP hits zero in the arena, they won't die, but their HP will be reduced to 1. However, winning a match in the arena restores a unit to full HP.
It's recommended to challenge the arena each chapter with all the units you intend to use, but you don't have to in order to complete the game. So, if you start getting tired of it, you can skip it... but it might be best not to.
Section 4. Skills
4a. What are Skills?
Skills are abilities that a unit can activate- generally in-combat, though sometimes they have out-of-combat effects. Various skills have various chances of activation (some are guaranteed, some rely on specific stat thresholds), so be aware.
4b. Skill Types
There are two different skill types- "Class Skills", those granted based on a unit's class, and "Personal Skills", those a unit has innately. All skills can mechanically either be class or personal skills- though most skills are only personal. Class skills, however, apply to every unit that is a member of the class- including faceless enemies. So watch out, and check out the skills present on the unit menu to make sure you do not meet a dire error.
4c. Skill List
(Note: Attack Speed is here abbreviated as Aspd.)
Pursuit/Follow-Up: Allows a unit to strike again after an enemy counterattack (or twice in a row if the unit themselves is counterattacking). Trigger: Unit's Aspd > enemy unit Aspd.
Critical: Allows a unit to perform a critical hit in combat, doubling their attack before enemy defense. Trigger: Skl%.
Adept: Allows a unit to attack twice in a row. Trigger: (Aspd + 20)%.
Accost: Triggers another round of combat upon the completion of the prior round. Trigger: [Unit Aspd - enemy Aspd + (unit HP/2)]%.
Pavise: Negates all incoming damage for 1 hit. Trigger: (Unit Level)%.
Steal: Takes all of an enemy's gold upon hit and adds it to the unit's personal wallet. Always activates.
Vantage: Unit attacks first when enemy unit initiates combat (treats it as if unit initiates combat). Trigger: Unit HP ≤ (50% of unit's Max HP + 1). When conditions are met, always activates.
Wrath: Unit always performs a critical hit (if unit hits). Trigger: Unit HP ≤ (50% of unit's Max HP + 1). When conditions are met, always activates.
Astra: Unit performs 5 attacks in a row. Trigger: Skl%.
Luna: Unit negates enemy defense for 1 strike. Trigger: Skl%.
Sol: Unit recovers HP equal to damage dealt. Trigger: Skl%.
(Note: Only one of Astra/Luna/Sol may activate at once. Additionally, they are only usable by infantry sword units.)
Nihil: Prevents the activation of Astra, Luna, Sol and critical hits against this unit. Always activates.
Bargain: Shop prices for this unit are reduced by 50%.
Charm: Hit and Avoid +10 to allied units within 3 spaces.
Dance: Grants another action to all adjacent allies.
Miracle: When unit HP is ≤10, increases unit's Avo by [(11- Unit HP)*10] points.
Paragon: Double's unit's gained experience.
Renewal: At start of turn, unit recovers 5-10 HP (random).
Section 5. Side Objectives
5a. Villages
Visiting a village gives a unit 5000 Gold and may also grant an item. Bandits will attack villages; a village will be destroyed when a bandit attacks it for 10 turns, and every turn that a bandit attacks it will subtract 500 Gold from the total that a unit will gain from visiting it.
5b. Combatant NPCs
NPCs ("green units") that have normal classes will grant items when spoken to by certain units of yours. Their status screen will tell you who they should talk to.
5c. Civilian Rescue
NPCs who do not have normal classes (i.e. their class is Civilian) will grant 100 EXP when interacted with.
Section 6. Genealogy
6a. What's All This About Children?
Like Gaul, Genealogy of the Holy War is divided into two parts... Er, it seems I've misread my notes. Gaul is divided into three. Nevertheless, Genealogy takes place over a long period of time- 24 years, in fact. As the characters you recruit at the beginning of the game are in the prime of their lives, it's only natural that, over such a long period, some of them will marry and have children. However, the latter half of the game takes place over two decades later than the beginning- the characters that you've recruited back then, such as Edain, may be in their forties by that point. By no means can characters in their early middle ages not fight in the early middle ages, but this IS an anime- the timeskip calls for a new cast of teenagers, the children of your early units all grown up.
6b. Can Love Bloom on the Battlefield?
Units can only have children if they become lovers. Some units will be- or become- lovers automatically, such as Quan and Ethlyn. In this case, their children will always be theirs. Some units do not- take, for example, Edain. She will not automatically take a lover, and you'll have to get her to fall in love with another (male) unit in order to have children. (Evidently, Jugdral has not yet invented magic that allows for cloning or IVF. Sad.) Even if she doesn't fall in love, however, you'll still have the same number of teenagers fighting for you later in the game- two of them will simply not be the child of any of your own units, and will be "substitute" characters with their own backstories. However, the children of early-game units will have some gameplay advantages, which I'll explain in a bit. Either way, each potential mother has two associated children, one of which will take after her to a greater extent and the other of which will take after her lover to a greater extent. No male unit has any associated children without falling in love.
As for how units fall in love, it's quite simple. Units have a certain number of "love points" with each other- all of them start with a certain number of points shared with each other unit. Once a unit reaches 500 love points with another unit, they become lovers, and can have conversations, gameplay interactions, and children. Units gain +5 love points per turn from standing next to each other, as long as they are the only two units standing next to each other; there is a bug that can cause units to gain love points meant for other units if they stand next to another unit who is standing next to that unit's prospective lover. There is a more detailed explanation, but it would involve some spoilers, so I'll leave it at that for now. Units also gain a certain number of love points by being on the same map together; this can be as low as 1 and as high as 10 per turn for a given pair. Finally, units gain love points by having conversations with each other- conversations between unrelated men and women often come with love points attached.
Perhaps this explanation has been tiresome, and I haven't convinced you you shouldn't just toss up your hands and go for the substitutes. Well, there are many gameplay benefits to kids, starting with the following...
6c. Holy Blood
It's hard to miss, considering how constantly it's talked about. Some of your units are descendants of the Twelve Crusaders, who destroyed the darkness about a hundred and twenty years ago. This has numerous story implications. However, it also has gameplay ones!
If you open up a unit's Holy Blood menu (press A on the unit menu) you'll see a circle showing all twelve of the Crusaders' weapons and their names. Some of these will have green dots next to them; when a green dot is next to a Crusader's weapon, that means that the unit has Minor holy blood of that crusader; when the green dot is glowing (there's a yellow light surrounding it) that means that the unit has Major holy blood of that crusader.
Minor holy blood boosts a unit's rank in the associated weapon by 1 letter grade. For example, Troubadours naturally have a B rank in swords, but because Ethlyn has minor Baldr blood, she starts with an A rank. Meanwhile, Major holy blood boosts a unit's rank in the associated weapon to the maximum, and allows them to use the associated holy weapon if they can get their hands on it. For example, because Sigurd has major Baldr blood, he can use any sword in the game (excepting other holy weapons), including Tyrfing. This isn't just a nice bonus- most holy weapons give a total of +30 to a character's stats, spread out across a varying number. Some give more or less, or have other special effects (for example, Mystletainn grants the Critical skill), but they are universally extraordinarily powerful. A unit with holy blood can turn the tide of battle on their own, in both gameplay and story.
Holy blood also increases a unit's growths. Depending on which holy blood they bear, various stat growths are boosted; a list is shown below. Note that minor blood cuts these boosts in half.
Baldr: Associated with swords. HP+20%, Str+10%, Skl+10%, Lck+10%. Od: Associated with swords. HP+20%, Skl+30%.
Dáinn: Associated with lances. HP+20%, Spd+30%.
Ullr: Associated with bows. HP+20%, Lck+30%.
Bragi: Associated with staves. HP+10%, Mag+10%, Lck+10%, Res+20%.
Thrud: Associated with thunder magic. HP+20%, Skl+30%.
Fjalar: Associated with fire magic. HP+20%, Mag+30%.
Hoðr: Associated with swords. HP+20%, Str+30%.
Njörun: Associated with lances. HP+20%, Str+10%, Spd+10%, Def+10%.
Nál: Associated with axes. HP+20%, Def+30%.
Naga: Associated with light magic. HP+10%, Mag+20%, Res+20%.
Forseti: Associated with wind magic. HP+20%, Spd+30%.
Children will inherit their parents' holy blood, but only partially; both children will inherit minor holy blood, if it is held, but only the child which most resembles the parent will inherit major holy blood. The other child will again receive minor holy blood, unless both parents share a holy blood type, in which case they will both bear major holy blood. This is the case even if both parents' holy blood is minor.
6d. Weapon and Skill Inheritance
Units will inherit the weapons and items of the parent they most resemble, but only if they can use them in their base class. The exception to this is Holy Weapons, which will be inherited even if the child unit can never use them.
Both parents' personal skills pass on to both of their children. However, their class skills do not. Check carefully to see that the skills you want to pass on actually belong to the unit innately!
6e. Growth Rate Inheritance
Child units' growth rates are equal to 100% of those of the parent they resemble most + 50% of those of the parent they resemble less. Therefore, all child units will be equally or more competent in battle than their resembling parent.
Section 7. Recruitments
7a. From Enemy to Friend
Units in Genealogy of the Holy War won't always be on your side from the start. Oftentimes, they'll start out as green allied units, or even enemy units. While talking to enemies to recruit them is common in Fire Emblem games, Genealogy has some more esoteric methods on its hands. Therefore, a list of (non-automatic) recruitment methods and chapters (without mentioning unit names) is below.
7b. Spoiler-Free Recruitment List
Chapter 1.
-Speak to the swordfighter with your lord after seizing Genoa.
Chapter 2.
-Complete all seven Arena matches with any unit.
-Speak to the princess with your lord.
-Speak to the free knight with anyone holding more than 10,000 Gold.
-Speak to the pegasus with the bard.
Chapter 6.
-Speak to either the axe fighter or the axe knight with the lady swordfighter.
Chapter 7.
-Enter Dahna castle with the cavalier who worries for it.
-Speak to the mage girl with the other mage.
Chapter 8.
-Speak to the archer with the thief.
-Speak to the sage with your lord.
Chapter 9.
-Seize Luthecia while the general still lives.
-Talk to the general with the cleric from Luthecia.
-Talk to the wyvern knight with the prince.
-Talk to the wyvern knight with your lord.
Epilogue.
-Speak to them with your lord after seizing Velthomer.
Section 8. Conversations
8a. Communication is Key
Though supports weren't introduced into the Fire Emblem series until Binding Blade, that by no means that units did not talk about their past and present with each other prior to it. Units in Genealogy of the Holy War can talk to each other on the map for lore, love, stats, and items. The "Unit" section of the map menu contains a list of all units who can speak to each other on page 4 ("Personal Data"). It's highly recommended that you utilize this; though all units will have who they can talk to listed on the second page of their unit screen, it's easy to miss conversations without this.
Conversations have several triggers, but the most common one is the seizure of a castle. A list of all conversations between allied units, triggers, and results (things obtained from said conversation) is below. Initiator of the conversation is listed first, who they speak to is listed afterwards, trigger conditions third, and rewards fourth.
8b. List of Conversations, Conditions, and Results
Note that all events that can cause love point gain will not occur if either participant in the conversation already has a lover.
Prologue:
Azelle->Sigurd, Azelle recruited Lex->Sigurd, Lex recruited Ethlyn->Sigurd, Ethlyn recruited Quan->Sigurd, Quan recruited
Chapter 1:
Quan->Finn, from start of chapter, Finn gains +1 Str/Skl/Def Sigurd->Edain/Aideen, Edain recruited Midir->Edain, Edain recruited and Azelle has not spoken to her, +100 love points Azelle->Edain, Edain recruited and Midir has not spoken to her, +100 love points Edain->Ethlyn, Edain recruited, Ethlyn gains Return staff Quan->Ayra, Ayra recruited Dew->Edain, Genoa seized, 50 love points + Edain gains Warp staff
Chapter 2:
Deirdre->Ethlyn, from start of chapter, Ethlyn gains Light Brand Dew->Raquesis/Lachesis, Lachesis recruited, +50 love points and Lachesis gains Thief Sword Quan->Finn, Heirhein seized, Finn gains Brave Lance Sigurd->Lewyn, Lewyn recruited Beowulf->Lachesis, Anphony/Infini seized, +100 love points and Lachesis gains Str+2, Skl+2, Def+1 Alec->Sylvia/Silvia, Infini seized, +100 love points Silvia->Sigurd, Silvia recruited Fury/Erin/Erinys->Sigurd, Erinys recruited
Chapter 3:
Lex->Ayra, from start of chapter and Chulainn has not spoken to Ayra, +100 love points and Ayra gains Brave Sword Holyn/Chulainn->Ayra, from start of chapter and Lex has not spoken to Ayra, +100 love points and Ayra gains Brave Sword Ethlyn→Quan, Sylvale seized, Quan gains Gae Bolg Sigurd -> Brigid, Brigid recruited Edain→Brigid, Brigid recruited, Brigid gains Yewfelle Midir-> Brigid, Brigid recruited, +100 love points Claud->Sigurd, Claud recruited
Chapter 4:
Taillte/Tailtiu->Azelle, if the two are not lovers, +100 love points and Azelle gains HP+5 Sigurd->Claud, from start of chapter Edain->Midir, if the two are lovers, Midir gains Brave Bow Edain->Jamke, if the two are lovers, Jamke gains Brave Bow Edain->Azelle, if the two are lovers, Edain gains Rescue staff Silvia->Claud, Thove/Tófa seized, +100 love points Lewyn->Sigurd, Silesse seized Erinys->Lewyn, Silesse seized, +290 love points
Chapter 5:
Edain->Brigid, from start of chapter Claud->Edain, if the two are lovers, Edain gains Rescue staff Sigurd->Ayra, Lubeck seized Lex->Azelle, Lubeck seized Dew->Jamke, Lubeck seized Tailtiu->Azelle/Claud/Lex, if the two are lovers and Phinora seized Erinys->Lewyn/Arden/(Noish/Naoise), if the two are lovers and Phinora seized Silvia->Claud/Lewyn/Alec, if the two are lovers and Phinora seized Lachesis->Beowolf/Naoise/Dew, if the two are lovers and Phinora seized Ayra->Lex/Chulainn/Arden, if the two are lovers and Phinora seized Brigid->Alec/Jamke/Midir, if the two are lovers and Phinora seized
Chapter 6:
(Scathach/Ulster)/(Roddlevan/Dalvin)->Larcei/(Radney/Creidne), from start of chapter, Larcei/Creidne gains Lck+1 Lester/(Dimna/Deimne)->Lana/(Mana/Muirne), Lester/Deimne recruited, Lana/Muirne gains Lck+1 Oifey->Seliph, Oifey recruited Lana/Muirne->Julia, Julia recruited, Julia gains Mend staff Fee/(Femina/Hermina)->Seliph, Fee/Hermina recruited Arthur/Amid->Seliph, Arthur/Amid recruited Julia->Seliph, Isaach conquered, Julia gains Nosferatu tome (recommended) Julia->Seliph, Sophara conquered, Julia gains Aura tome Seliph->Lana/Muirne, Sophara conquered, +100 love points
Chapter 7:
Shannan->Patty/Daisy, from start of chapter, +100 love points and Shannan gains Balmung Oifey->(Dermott/Diarmuid)/Tristan, from start of chapter, Diarmuid/Tristan gains +1 Str/Skl/Def Seliph->Shannan, from start of chapter, Seliph gains +1 Skl Larcei/Creidne->Shannan, from start of chapter, +100 love points and Larcei/Creidne gains +2 Skl Patty/Daisy->Seliph, Yied/Aed is seized, +100 love points and Seliph gains Brave Sword Leif->Seliph, from start of chapter Diarmuid/Tristan->Nanna/Jeanne, from start of chapter, Nanna/Jeanne gains +1 Lck Ares->Seliph, Ares recruited Lene/Laylea->Seliph, Lene/Laylea recruited (Tine/Tinni)/Linda→Seliph, Tine/Linda recruited Finn→Nanna, if he is her father, Nanna gains +5 Spd Finn-> Lana, if he is her father, Lana gains +5 Mag Finn-> Larcei, if he is her father, Larcei gains +5 Skl
Chapter 8:
Julia->Seliph, at start of map, Seliph gains Lck+1 Arthur/Amid->Fee/Hermina, from start of map, +100 love points and Fee/Hermina gains +3 HP Finn->Leif, from start of map, Leif gains Str +3 Faval/Febail->Seliph, Febail recruited Seliph->Tine/Linda, Connacht seized, +100 love points and Tine/Linda gains +3 HP Nanna->Ares, Connacht seized, Nanna gains +2 Str/Def Ced->Seliph, Ced recruited with Lewyn as his father, Ced gains +3 Lck Fee/Hermina->Ced/Hawk, Ced/Hawk recruited, Fee/Hermina gains +1 Lck
Chapter 9:
Febail/Asaello->Patty/Daisy, from start of map, Patty/Daisy gains +1 Lck Patty/Daisy->(Coirpre/Cairpre)/(Sharlow/Charlot), Coirpre/Charlot recruited, +100 love points and Coirpre/Charlot gains +3 HP Seliph->Hannibal, Hannibal recruited Lene/Laylea->Coirpre/Charlot, Hannibal recruited, Coirpre/Charlot gains +1 Lck Julia->Seliph, Grutia seized, Seliph gains +3 Res Finn/Hannibal->Altena, Grutia seized, Altena gains +3 HP
Chapter 10:
Lester/Deimne->Patty/Daisy, from start of map, +100 love points and Patty/Daisy gains +3 HP Nanna/Jeanne->Leif, from start of map, +100 love points and Nanna/Jeanne gains +3 HP Shannan->Seliph, from start of map, Shannan gains +3 HP Febail/Asaello->Lana/Muirne, from start of map, +100 love points and Lana/Muirne gains +3 HP Oifey->Seliph, Chronos seized, Oifey gains +3 HP Leif->Altena, from start of map, Altena gains +1 Lck Seliph->Fee, Rados seized and Lewyn is her father, Fee gains Str +5 Seliph->Lene, Rados seized and Lewyn is her father, Lene gains Def +5 Seliph->Tine, Rados seized and Lewyn is her father, Tine gains Mag +5 Coirpre/Charlot->Altena, Miletos seized, Altena gains +5 Res
Epilogue:
Arthur/Amid->Tine/Linda, from start of map if neither has a lover, Tine/Linda gains Lck+1 Tine/Linda->Seliph/Ced/Hawk/Leif, if the two are lovers, Seliph/Ced/Hawk/Leif gains Mag+3 Patty/Daisy->Seliph/Shannan/Lester, if the two are lovers, Seliph/Shannan/Lester gains +3 HP/Spd Daisy->Deimne, if the two are lovers, Deimne gains +5 HP Jeanne->Leif, if Edda is seized and the two are lovers, Leif gains +5 HP Muirne->Asaello, if Edda is seized and the two are lovers, Asaello gains +5 HP Nanna/Jeanne->Seliph, if Edda is seized and the two are lovers, Seliph gains +3 HP Nanna->Ares/Leif, if Edda is seized and the two are lovers, Ares/Leif gains +3 Def Lana/Muirne->Seliph/Scathach/Dalvin, if Dozel is seized and the two are lovers, Seliph/Scathach/Dalvin gains +3 Res Lana->Febail, if Dozel is seized and the two are lovers, Febail gains +3 Res Larcei/Creidne->Seliph/Iuchar/Iucharba/Shannan, if Dozel is seized and the two are lovers, Seliph/Iuchar/Iucharba/Shannan gains +3 Str Fee->Oifey, if Friege is seized and the two are lovers, Oifey gains +3 Skl Fee/Hermina->Seliph/Arthur/Amid, if Friege is seized and the two are lovers, Seliph/Arthur/Amid gains +3 Skl
Section 9. Sticky Situations
9a. Large, Progressive Maps
Portions of the maps in Genealogy open up as you progress through them and seize castles. While this does lead to some impressive storytelling, it can also lead to you being caught in an unfortunate situation because you're halfway across the map for where some new event is happening. I call this a "sticky situation", and have provided hints for dealing with them below.
9b. Hints for Sticky Situations
Chapter 1. Leave a unit to guard your home castle. The young man won't attack the woman he saved, but his fellows will.
Chapter 2. The northeast passage will open when your lord is in the least convenient location for it. Consider preparing for the worst beforehand, and sending a particularly moralizing young artist home ahead of time.
Chapter 3. Be prepared for sneak attacks from the west and the north, again when you're in the most inconvenient location for them. Think of the feelings of your recently-recruited units about the ones closest to them- maybe communication is the answer.
Chapter 4. If you like money, don't abandon the northeast entirely when duty calls elsewhere. Just don't leave your best units there. It's only provincial. Thieves can pick any lock, even when it's that of a drawbridge. If one were to be raised, they could lower it in no time.
Chapter 5. Units will automatically equip plot-relevant weapons. Even if they're broken.
Chapter 6. Better movement options don't necessarily result in a better outcome. Weigh all the pros and cons first.
Chapter 7. Your unlucky number is one greater than the number of Crusaders. Get a move on! Pegasi are broadly applicable to understaffing situations.
Chapter 8. Just because someone doesn't have Pursuit doesn't mean they won't attack you twice. Use more reliable methods. Thieves work in exactly the same way when they're your enemies.
Chapter 9. Never trust convenient roads that you didn't ride in on. Keep your guard up at home.
Chapter 10. If you're not willing to abuse critical hits and avoid stacking in the face of insurmountable odds, you'll have to either make sacrifices or count tiles very precisely. Consider sending winged beasts as close as you can to the cliffs east of your homeland before arriving there yourself.
Epilogue. Keep the one who inherited a blessing they knew not of until recently close to home. If you give a sage a magic ring and the right tools to use it wisely, you might be able to minimize your distress from enemies who mirror their abilities in the final stages of the war. Beware movement ranges.
Section 10. Secret Events
10a. What Is A Secret Event?
Secret events are events that the game does not outright inform you will occur if you perform certain actions. Some of these events are meant to be easy to infer (the Not-So-Secret-Events) and some a player would only figure out by looking them up in the manual (the Truly Secret Events). The Not-So-Secret Events are highly recommended for all players to prioritize due to their notable gameplay impact, and are difficult to miss if you read every conversation. The Truly Secret Events are fun, but if you wish to stay as unspoiled as possible, consider skipping them.
10b. Not-So-Secret Events
Chapter 4: After seizing Silesse, have its heir enter it. They will receive an important item.
Epilogue: After seizing Velthomer, have the most recently recruited character enter it. They will receive an important item.
10c. Truly Secret Events
Chapter 1:
A. Have Lex wait on the marked spot with an Iron Axe equipped. A conversation will occur, and he will receive a Brave Axe.
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Chapter 2:
A. Have Arden wait on the marked spot. If he does not have a lover, a conversation will occur, and he will receive the Pursuit Ring.
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B. After capturing Heirhein, have a male character wait next to the neutral soldier just north of Evans castle for a conversation to occur.
Chapter 3:
A. Have Dew wait directly in front of Bragi Tower and he will receive the Wind Sword.
Chapter 4:
A. Prior to seizing Tófa/Thove, if neither Silvia, Lewyn, or Erinys have a lover, a conversation will occur if Silvia waits next to Erinys. Silvia will gain a large number of love points with Lewyn, while Erinys will gain a smaller number.
B. Have Silvia visit the second-most right-hand village on the map. An event will occur, and Silvia will receive the Safeguard/Defense Sword.
Chapter 5:
A. Have Arden wait on the marked spot. If he has a lover, he will gain 5 points of Skill.
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Chapter 6:
A. Have Seliph visit the village directly northwest of Isaach castle, and a different conversation will occur than usual.
B. Before conquering Ganeishire, Lester, Deimne/Dimna, Diarmuid/Dermott/Delmud, or Tristan can speak to the neutral soldiers of Sophara or Isaach castle.
C. If Deimne enters Isaach castle, a conversation will occur, and his Strength will increase by 5 points.
D. If Johan/Iuchar or Johalva/Iucharba waits next to Radney/Creidne for 10 turns, a conversation will occur, and Creidne's Strength and Luck will increase by 2 and 3 points, respectively.
Chapter 7:
A. If Laylea visits one of the villages south of Leonster, a conversation will occur, and she will receive the Barrier Blade.
B. After the boss of Ulster castle has been defeated, if Daisy waits next to Shanan, a conversation will occur, and Daisy's Skill and Speed will increase by 3 points.
C. After Melgen has been seized, if Tristan and Roddlevan/Dalvin are both below level 10, having them wait next to each other will cause a conversation to occur and both of them to gain Strength +2 and Def +1; Tristan will gain Speed +1, while Dalvin will gain Defense +1.
Chapter 8:
A. If Fee waits on the marked location before the character guarding Munster castle is recruited, a conversation will occur.
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B. If Linda waits on the left-hand marked spot, a conversation will occur, and she will gain Resistance +3. If Amid waits on the right-hand marked spot, a conversation will occur, and he will gain Resistance +3.
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C. If Asaello visits the village northwest of Connacht, a conversation will occur and his Strength will increase by 3.
D. After Connacht has been seized, if neither Seliph nor Muirne/Mana have a lover, and if all characters recruited from chapter 6 onwards have survived so far, have Seliph wait next to Muirne. A conversation will occur, and Muirne will gain Luck +5.
Chapter 9:
A. If Hawk enters Luthecia, a conversation will occur, and he will gain +3 Magic and Resistance.
B. After Grutia is conquered, have Charlot/Sharlow wait next to Hannibal. A conversation will occur, and he will receive the Berserk staff.
C. If Femina/Hermina or Janne/Jeanne visits one of the northwest villages, a conversation will occur and she will gain +3 Defense.
Chapter 10:
A. If Seliph defeats the boss of the final castle and before seizing it waits next to the water on the beach below, something will happen.
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just-a-slytherpuff · 10 months
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Snape's Snokemon team
Got inspired to design a full Pokemon team for Snape so here we go.
First off is Serperior: the Regal Pokemon. It's a snake, it's royal, what more justification do you need? I think the Half Blood Prince wouldn't be able to resist that sort of combination. Serperior is definitely the Pokemon he claims as his main one for the sake of appearances.
Second is Paras: the Mushroom Pokemon. I figure Snape originally caught this one for the cordyceps mushrooms on its back, which are known for their use in herbal medicine, and then decided to keep it around. Also, @dastardly-lemondrops informed me that Paras in Legends Arceus are bizarrely aggro and that it would be funny if Snape's Paras was like an angry chihuahua.
Third is Watchog: the Lookout Pokemon. I picked this one because it seems like it would be great for helping him search for ingredients while out in the forest. Plus, I think that with Snape's past of being targeted when alone, he'd love a Pokemon that's always on the lookout for him instead. Because of that, Watchog ends up very protective of him, to the point where Snape tends to only call it out when others aren't around.
Fourth is Golduck: the Duck Pokemon. I figure Snape needs a water-type for underwater gathering and Golduck seemed a great fit for that. It regularly scours the lake for interesting ingredients that Snape can add to his potions. Also, Golduck has telepathic abilities that allows it to pass on knowledge to its trainer that I'm sure Snape would love.
Fifth is Delphox: the Fox Pokemon. With the witch and prophecy theming, I thought Delphox was a good pick for Snape, even if he wouldn't exactly like it. Therefore, I've decided that the reason he kept it around is that it's a shiny that just showed up one day and wouldn't leave him alone. It's very insistent on sticking around and he enjoys the prestige of having a shiny so now he just has to deal with this thing looming over his shoulder and starting all his fires for him.
And the final pick is Crobat: the Bat Pokemon. It wouldn't be a Snape team without at least one poison-type, so I figured why not lean into the dungeon bat theme. I've decided he raised this one all the way up from a Zubat, maybe even his first Pokmon. Also, since Crobat is a friendship based evolution, it would give a hint as to his true nature. People who don't remember him having a Zubat assume he got lucky in finding one, and those who do remember his little Zubat assume he got rid of it in exchange for the final evolution.
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Also: honorable mentions to Inkay, Polteageist, and Shuckle for being great potential picks that didn't make the cut.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
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femchef · 8 months
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Risu took me out to a really, really lovely restaurant for my birthday last night - so if anyone wants to know what tasting menus are like buckle up and sorry about the blur on some of the pictures.
The place we went to is in Charleston, it’s called Zero Bar and Restaurant located at the premises of the Zero George hotel (name is from the street location, which is at 0 George St., how do you end up with the zero?).
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We were early, and sat at the bar for a drink while we waited for the restaurant to open up seating. This is a tasting menu restaurant - that means you don’t really choose what to eat, and you are sitting down to experience a lot of courses. There are a few choices, but everything is determined by the chef and staff. It’s also the type of restaurant where if you tell them you are celebrating something (in this case a birthday), everyone on staff knows and knows who and makes a point of quietly acknowledging the occasion, from the point you walk in the door to the point you leave.
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Risu had a vodka-based cocktail with calamansi and mint, I had a bourbon cocktail with leather and walnut syrup, and cherry.
We were seated on time at 6 and the server walked us through the menu and our options (we chose to add on the caviar service, I chose black truffle with my pasta and Risu chose to forgo the truffle, Risu chose the wagyu instead of duck for the entree), and the beverage manager checked in with us about our options for pairings (we decided not to do the full wine pairings since we weren’t spending the night, but he offered to do two half-cocktails to pair mid-meal for me with some of the dishes).
The first round of courses came out about 15 minutes after seating - I like the format they use here! Instead of a long train of singular dishes, you start off with rounds of small bites eaten in order before the main points of the menu:
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The first set was 5 dishes. The first, which is not pictured, was an interactive dish. You place fresh shiso leaf on the palm of your hand and the server then gently scoops a round sphere of white, nitrogen frozen meringue perfumed with a fruity, savory interior on the leaf. As you eat it, the ‘smoke’ from the frozen meringue puffs out of your nose.
The dishes in the picture above were eaten counter clockwise starting from top-right: delicate, fresh oysters sauced and garnished with vanilla bean seed, chestnut mousse on a kelp cracker (it was a little concerning how they had to keep telling people not to eat the rocks, but I get it), a half-smoked ‘cigar’ that’s a crisp filo shell filled with beef tartare and cigar ash made from mushroom powder, and a ‘potted plant’ of young radishes rolled in butter and potted in a soil made of mixed grains and seasonings.
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(Again, sorry for the blur, it was starting to get dark) The second round was 4 small dishes. In the first photo of three, these were eaten counter-clockwise starting from the top-right corner: small, dressed quail century egg served in a teaspoon, a sweet, donut fritter, and shrimp toast (I think that one was both our favorite). The fourth was a buñuelos with squid ink and passion fruit.
At this point the house manager checked in and also swept the table with a brush to clear off some of the debris from the various presentations, and to set our first round of silverware.
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Not long after the plates cleared, the caviar. Service was brought out - the server portioned the caviar on our hands, at the join between thumb and index finger - this allows caviar to warm with the natural heat on your hand so that you can enjoy the briny sea flavor and creaminess - and prepared two shots of a nice Japanese vodka that was icing on the service tray - yeah I didn’t take a picture of the caviar part, since it was interactive, but the glasses were very pretty! The caviar was salty, oceany and creamy and the vodka was some of the smoothest I’ve ever tried.
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The first singular dish out was a tuna tartare with crispy fried sunchokes. This was lovely and creamy, nice balance of textures and a pleasant balance between salty, sweet and fattiness.
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After the setting were reset with fresh silverware, the second dish was a pasta dish - tortellini with tender, caramelized garlic bread and a sweet, citrusy cream sauce. This was the part of the meal that came with the truffle service, so you can see the plates with and without in the pictures.
(They offer both white and black truffles - personally I prefer black because they are nutty and warm in flavor, where white truffles are a bit too pungent for me)
I’ve reached the picture limit so consider this Part 1
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camping-with-monsters · 4 months
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Up to the skies sprouts a pair of wings. Ah, the mighty Brigantine flies fourth!
Once the mighty base of “The Brigantine”, the airship in living form of the old Captain Cinderella’s Crew, the dragon was powerful but friendly, only listening to the command of she who tamed the monster. But when members were dropped one by one off the back with little she could do during “The Red Ambush”, she knew only one instinct; go to the water where they would fall in and survive. But it all happened too quickly, and the lady in red who tossed members overboard had some hold on Brigantine too, causing her to lose control and only get there in time as one last member slipped off— The Captain herself. And as she fell to the water… Brigantine and the shell of the airship she were lost deep in the skies, unheard of by the lonesome Captain for years to come. And like the rest of her crew was confirmed, Brigantine herself was assumed dead too.
As luck would have it, Brigantine still has life within. But now? She’s more of a husk of what she used to be. Stripped of her identity as Cinderella’s and stolen by that Mary Jill, under her unruly control and forced to serve as an intimidation tactic even more than a weapon of mass destruction like she is still technically capable of. Though because of her massive size, she doesn’t show up very often. Only when Jill calls upon her to scare others into biddings. Likewise, very few know about Brig’s current existence and whereabouts. But it’s not looking good for anyone that the rag-tag group of vessels of villainy have quite the firepower on their hands, and aren’t afraid to use to to get what they want.
———
WOW. OKAY SO I DREW THIS FOREVER AGO. But the art still holds up so I mean. Alright! So, technically speaking, this is the final character of importance in Duck Duck Goose! Yeah! The last one! While there technically are still designs that exist like some specific mice of Piper’s, other members of Cinderella’s deceased crew, and a couple of other brief creature appearances… this is the last of what I’d consider “THE cast.”
Idk why it took me forever to get to her bio, but here she is! This is what Brigantine is! A fun fact about her— so Cinderella mentions her a couple times throughout the plot before her reveal, but it’s written to where the characters assume she means an actual ship and Cinder assumes they know she’s talking about a dragon. So the fact that Brig’s a DRAGON completely catches everyone off guard, haha.
The idea is that she does have a giant set piece that was basically like a ship that she adorned on her body, but I haven’t gotten around to drawing that out yet. One day, maybe!
I still feel like there’s some things I could play around, but she’s not supposed to look like anything specific other then a dragon. You’d think I’d go with trying to make her look like a ship but… believe me I tried. I think when I officiate the set piece she has it’ll be cooler.
edit: okay I lied it’s not the last character of importance but it’s the last one I need to upload myself cause the last few are ones that belong to my friend lmao
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I tend to take scoops with grains of salt... Or scoops of salt.
The DisInsider sometimes successfully clues us in on what's happening, and sometimes they're way off. Remember how they reported that the 2022 D23 would reveal to us a 2D Disney animated movie called BLUEBEARD (based on the fairy tale of the same name) and a Pixar picture called SUMER? That same report also said INSIDE OUT 2 would be revealed... It was.
But yeah...
Anyways, the latest scoop says DUCKS is a thing (even though the Fine Tooning podcast, co-hosted by entertainment writer Drew Taylor and Disney reporter Jim Hill, said that there is no so much movie being made within the walls of Emeryville), in addition to a third FINDING NEMO movie and an INCREDIBLES 3. Well, what I'll say is this... I think both of those are inevitable. Sequels to favorites tend to do well, and they fund the riskier, original stuff. So yeah, don't be surprised if one of those happens. FINDING DORY and INCREDIBLES 2 were both billion dollar behemoths upon release. Regular moviegoers love those characters and worlds, so they'll be back, even if the online animation fandom deems their sequels to be "mid" or whatever.
Honestly, I wonder if Pixar will ever consider another CARS movie. We did have that CARS ON THE ROAD series two years back, and 2026 will mark the 20th anniversary of the franchise. CARS 3 arrived 11 years after the original, but I think it was kinda bogged down at the box office by how poorly-received CARS 2 was (even audiences weren't too keen on that one) and the existence of two PLANES movies. I think it kinda made for CARS overkill. Ever since CARS 3, we've only had the aforementioned Disney+ series and maybe some short buried in there somewhere. Maybe a nice long gap and not much stuff could do a potential fourth movie good? Honestly, I like the CARS world, the movies are light and fun and silly, I'd be fine with Pixar making a few more so they can fund originals just in case they struggle at the box office. Instead of yet another TOY STORY.
I think they're running out of the perennial favorites to do sequels to. A BUG'S LIFE 2 likely won't happen, and MONSTERS, INC. has its continuation in the form of MONSTERS AT WORK, though a sequel set after that isn't entirely off the table. I don't think you can feasibly do a sequel to RATATOUILLE or UP (the latter's DUG DAYS was a fine enough continuation, and Ed Asner passed away not too long ago), WALL-E's future world could possibly be open to a sequel? I dunno.
The 2010s was mostly sequels. Four originals, only. BRAVE, INSIDE OUT, THE GOOD DINOSAUR, and COCO. INSIDE OUT, of course, has a sequel that's right around the corner. I would be down for a BRAVE sequel honestly, given the fantastical world the original created. Hell, just to make things cooler, bring back Brenda Chapman and actually let her make that movie - as a sort-of last laugh for her after how she was treated by John Lasseter. GOOD DINOSAUR lost money at the box office, so that probably will never get any form of continuation. COCO, I feel, you can't make a sequel to. Its director Lee Unkrich retired, anyways.
Pixar can only sequelize the old favorites so many times. They're certainly trying with a fifth TOY STORY, for sure. I'm sure it'll also make a lot of money. But it's like, when is enough enough? When does the studio create a film that actually is meant to have continuations while still being a complete story? Almost like their equivalent to STAR WARS? Or heck, could they one day break their "original idea" tradition and make... An adaptation of a multi-book series?
I wouldn't rule it out! Remember the Blue Sky movie EPIC, based on the William Joyce book THE LEAF MEN AND THE BRAVE, GOOD BUGS? That was almost a Pixar film in the 2000s! Maybe in order to keep sequels a thing but without having to retread their classic favorites, Pixar could just adapt a book series, hope for the best for the first movie, and then make some sequels to pay for the originals.
But either way, there will be more sequels I feel. Maybe not to the most recent movies, but they've got the mine for it, and Disney certainly wants that easy dough.
I'll also point out that the scoop said more Disney Animation sequels are likely, and yes... So long as the movies do great. STRANGE WORLD and WISH certainly aren't getting sequels, while I feel ENCANTO will get one, or at least a series. RAYA, maybe? They could've given us more WRECK-IT RALPH movies, given how much they can play (hah) with the video game settings, but they decided to do a separate-ways ending with RALPH BREAKS THE INTERNET. So that seems to be off the table. Seems like it'll be FROZEN, ZOOTOPIA, and MOANA for a bit. Not sure if a BIG HERO 6 sequel will happen anytime soon, as we had a Disney TV Animation series for that *and* a WDAS-made Disney+ series. Disney can't really sequelize anything further back, like pre-Lasseter, for various reasons. TANGLED got a whole series that really expanded the film's world and did its own thing, a sequel would either have to build off of that or ignore it all completely... And I'm sure that would sit well with fans, haha. The weird thing is, I can see a TANGLED sequel happening because it would play off of nostalgia for the original, which turns 14 this year. But again, would it integrate the TV series and possibly alienate people who have only watched the movie? Or would it ignore the show continuity and upset fans? That's a tricky one, they'd have to really market the show before theoretical release.
There are even rumors that the TIANA series being made for Disney+ will be re-formatted as a movie much like the MOANA series was, but... Who would do the 2D animation if WDAS doesn't truly have a functioning 2D unit? Would it still be Mercury Filmworks, who are said to be doing the animation for it? Or would they have a sort-of Duncan Studio-type house do it? Would it be switched to CGI? A PAPERMAN/WISH-like movie? It raises plenty of questions.
Only time will tell. I find the prospects fascinating to say the least, but I really do hope we hear about more originals from both houses... Especially WDAS... In the coming months.
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halfbakedideas · 2 years
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Hot Potato, Hot Potato
No. 30 NOTE TO SELF: DON'T GET KIDNAPPED
Manhandled | Hair Grabbing | "Please don’t touch me.”
Have you ever wanted to play hot potato with your littlest brother who has been magically turned into an iguana? The Batkids did.
Magic, why does it have to be magic?
“Damian, watch out!” Dick yelled as he ducked out of the way of a bolt of purple magic barrelled past him.
Unfortunately, Damian had been preoccupied with one of the magic user’s weird glass goons and had not ducked in time. The bolt of magic hit him square in the back.
The fourth Robin crumpled to the roof covered in a purple aura-like haze. In his place was a teenaged iguana.
“Nightwing to Batman,” The comm. line connected. “We have a BunnyWing situation here,” Dick told him.
“Acknowledged.” Bruce responded crisply. Everyone connected into the line could hear the tired sigh in his voice.
One of the children turned into an animal by a magic user could only go one way when it came to this family and it started with an ‘n’ (don’t be a nincompoop, it wasn’t nice).
XXX
That had happened last night. It had been twelve hours since Damian had been turned into an iguana by a magic user while out on patrol.
When Bruce left his room that morning he had found it to be suspiciously quiet. That was never a good omen in this household. Ever. He needed to find his phone to call Zatanna. When he walked into the living room not even an hour later still in search of his phone, he found his children (well, most of them) standing in the centre of the room in a loose circle. Most interestingly, there is a baby iguana flying through the air between them.
“What is going on here?” he asked. All of his children turned to face him with matching guilty expressions. Iguana!Damian lands on Jason’s head with a hiss, he had come close to almost sliding right off.
“Reaction practice?” Tim tried. Bruce levelled them all with another one of his Tired Dad Looks™
“It is eight in the morning, on a Sunday, and you lot are playing hot potato with your youngest brother who is currently an iguana?” It wasn’t a question but it could have been.
“Yep,” Jason answered. It’s echoed by a choir of more yeps, yes’s, and a yeah.
It was at that moment that Bruce decided that it was too early in the morning and and he didn’t have enough coffee to be dealing with this. 
“I don’t have enough coffee to evaluate this situation right now nor stop it; Just please make sure that Damian — or anyone else for that matter — isn’t hurt,” he announced before turning, grabbing his phone from the side table, and heading to the door. “And make sure that Alfred doesn’t find out; I’m not protecting anyone from his wrath,” Bruce added before he left the room.
Behind him, he could hear the shouts and hissing start up again. They had resumed their game.
The heavenly scent of freshly brewed coffee drew him in the direction of the kitchen. Coffee first then he would call Zatanna to see if she was free to come over to sort out their lizard problem.
XXX
Damian had been asleep in his bed when his brothers broke into his room and snatched him from the heavenly confides of the blanket.
In their present state they weighed less than an average table lamp, so there was little that they could do to stop the thievery.
Damian felt his brothers carry him down the hallway, downstairs and saw the couches and extra large-sized television that told him that they were now in the living room.
Suddenly he was flying through the air. For a brief moment, they were worried that they were not going to be caught and would land painfully. But then he landed in someone’s — Timothy’s, based on how pale the skin was — hands.
Before he could even get his bearings, Timothy (the traitor) had launched him up in the air again. Once more they were caught and again chucked into the air.
The next time he is flying through the air, Damian voices his annoyance in the only way he can do so in this form: hissing.
Their brothers ignore their protests in favour of treating them like some kind of plaything. Tossing him around like someone would do with a ball.
No, not a ball; worse than that: a hot potato.
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stitchandani · 1 year
Note
What are your guys’s thoughts on some of the new casting announcements for the upcoming live action Lilo and Stitch? There’s been some chaos regarding the casting decision of Sydney Elizebeth Agudong as Nani and Kahiau Machado is confirmed to be playing David, along with Billy Magnusson playing an unconfirmed role.
Doverstar Hi anon! Well, first off, I want to reiterate that Arti and I actually don't care very much about the live-action L&S. We're two of those oldies that consider the live-action re-imaginings as totally unnecessary, low-quality, irritating cash grabs that almost never honor or pay proper homage to the original Disney classics they're based on. So. Disclaimer there. I do have some new opinions as of this morning, personally, but feel free to totally disgree with/ignore them! :) Secondly, as far as the casting goes, if we like anything, we like that Chris Sanders is Stitch again. That might be the only good thing we can see so far in it. I personally think the girl they chose to play Lilo is super cute, and as far as looks go, she looks like Lilo so that's a plus. We can't say anything else yet because we haven't seen her act as Lilo, and we don't know if the writers will butcher the story/the characters entirely yet, so no comment there. I hope she has so much fun! We all wanted to be Lilo at some point as children - now she gets to actually do it! Good for her! What a precious-looking lil lucky duck. I bet she'll do great. Now I'm gonna rant, get excited.
Thirdly, here's my most recent opinion on the film and its cast and all that jazz: people online have been very loud and very obnoxious and very rude about the color of the human cast's skin. Even though these human beings are, in fact, of Hawaiian descent, the way their characters are supposed to be, that's apparently not enough because their skin is "too light". So now we've gotten to a place in our culture where it's not sufficient to be cast in a role with a certain nationality or race that you actually are. No. Your physical skin color, which you can't change and were born with, has to be a certain shade or else it's racist that you were cast and the company is intentionally using you to "whitewash" characters with skin colors that were designed as non-white. I personally think that is ridiculous. If the actress for Nani plays a convincing Nani, and is right for the part, and as a bonus she is a female of Hawaiian descent (because the character in the original film was intentionally created as a native Hawaiian woman living on Kauai), then she should play Nani and no one should have a problem with that. The same goes for the men cast to play David. Which brings me to my fourth opinion: I said men, plural. David has recently been recast. For multiple reasons. The biggest reason being that people were yet again obnoxious and loud online (like they always are) and, because they were still salty that Mr. Machado's born skin color was not the shade they wanted it to be, they dug and dug all over his personal social media accounts in order to find anything incriminating they could yell about to force Disney to recast him. They did find out that he seems fine using rude and offensive terms when referring to African-American people - or that, at one point in the past, he was fine using them - never having met with or spoken to the man himself in the present to find out what he's really like, what he actually believes, or why he posted things of that nature in the past. People didn't like Mr. Machado's skin color, so they were loud and rude and obnoxious and did everything they could in their own free time to get him kicked off of the project, and it worked because modern-day corporate Disney is a sleaze-ball company whose higher-ups only care about money, not whatever they say publicly that they care about. I don't think Mr. Machado (or anyone) should use what people call "racial slurs", ever, because it's terrible. But I also think the public was super weird and boundary-crossing and incredibly silly about this whole thing. Do you actively, regularly go to random strangers' Facebook accounts when you met them in a Starbucks line and you didn't like something about the way they physically look? And then look all over that Facebook account for something that would get them fired from their job? A person you don't even know? Fired from a job you have absolutely nothing to do with? No? Then don't do it to an actor. Why do you care? How do you know what they're really like? People ruined an opportunity (a crappy Disney live-action opportunity, but an opportunity nonetheless) for a young undiscovered actor because they were mad his skin color wasn't what they thought it should be. That sounds racist to me. Anyway. Now they've cast another young gentleman as David, and good for him, lucky for him, and he looks fine to me, but who knows. Maybe they'll rise up and get him fired too for having the wrong-shaped earlobes or something. Stupid. ANYWAY. Llike I said, Arti and I don't really have any other strong opinions on the film beyond the ones listed here. We don't have much faith that it will be good, we don't think it even needs to be made, but we're super excited to hear Mr. Sanders as the voice of Stitch again! Unless they recast him because he's not blue. Then we riot.
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grievousdearu · 2 years
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No Bully Zone
The sound of rain falling into the creek leaves the bridge area shrouded in a white noise that lets me feel at ease- more so than the white noise of the crowd in the markets outside the house.
Mama was once again out somewhere doing something, so I’d been left with money to buy some bread for lunch.
The last crumbs fall to the ground and dissolve away in the mud of the creekbank under the bridge as I finish off my bread roll.
That boy found me the other day, but I don’t know where else to go so I wound up coming back here again anyways.
I often wonder if I found somewhere else that was this secluded if I’d go to it instead of here. But where can you find somewhere like this in the market district of Helmholtz? Most places will have people going through it all day.
Maybe now that I’ve eaten, I can go back and try reading that book about magic that’s on the bookshelf in the bedroom at home. Mama bought it last week for something, but she hasn’t opened it since. Would she get mad if I looked at it?
I let out a deep sigh, then lean back against the stone foundation of the bridge, thinking about what to do.
Eventually, I decided to go back home and look around there for something to do.
I take about five steps up the creek bank before I see a couple of other kids walk past me. Hurriedly, I try to get by them, but just as I’m about to pass, I feel a tug at my hood, and it’s removed from my head before I have a chance to stop it.
“Freak!”
I knew it.
I try to pull up my hood again, but the kids try to forcefully remove the entire cloak from my body, which is tied around my neck. Their pulling starts to choke me, and I reach for the knot to untie it, but I can’t undo it because of the pressure being applied.
“What, are you gonna cry now? Can freaks like you even cry?” The largest boy taunts me as he pulls on my cloak.
They were pulling on my hood even harder now, leaving me gasping for air. I try to call out to someone for help, but I can’t bring myself to- not only because I can’t breathe, but because I know nobody will help anyways.
“Who-!?”
The sound of a sack hitting the ground rings out behind me, and suddenly I feel the tugging at my hood stop.
“What’s your problem!? Get lost! You aren’t involved in this!” One of the other kids yells out.
“And you aren’t either, not anymore.” A fourth kid says. However… that voice sounds familiar, but I struggle to place who it belongs to.
“What are you planning to do about it, then?!” The first, largest boy says.
“Make you leave.”
I can’t bring myself to turn around. So instead, I simply cower on the ground, waiting for everything to be over. I don’t want to be involved. I don’t want anyone to yell anymore.
“Go ahead and try!”
I hear the sound of a fist hitting flesh echo out slightly. But for some reason, it sounded… solid?
“The hell are you?!?”
A full-blown fight then breaks out, from what I can tell based on sound alone. Though, somehow something sounded distinctly one-sided.
I felt fear wash over me, not just for myself now, but for the boy who I think was trying to defend me.
A few seconds pass, with the sound of people beating each other filling my ears, soon followed by the crying of children.
I duck my head down and try to get as close to the ground as possible, getting so close that some mud gets on my nose.
Eventually, I hear the sound of someone running.
The fighting had stopped.
Except now I heard two more sets of running feet. I had a feeling I knew what just happened, but I was still too scared to turn around to confirm for myself.
I’d left it too late to run myself, now. Now all I could do was sit here and wait for that boy to do whatever it was he was going to do, and I had no way to stop it from happening.
A tap on my back sends chills down my entire body, and I prepare myself.
“Are you okay?” I hear him say.
It’s too hard to say if the ground in front of my face was wet because of the rain, or if it was because of my tears, and I had too many emotions coursing through my body to know why or if I was crying.
The rain seemed like it’d stopped some time while the boy was waiting for my response, making the whole event feel like it’d lasted hours.
After a few seconds passed and I felt no further contact on my body, I slowly turned my head around to face the one boy who’d decided to fight three others for no reason.
His face had a few cuts and red spots, but otherwise, he seemed mostly okay.
“Wh-why d-did you do that?!” Instead of screaming at him, I can only raise my voice to a loud questioning one.
“Because they were bullying you. I don’t like bullies.”
How… can this boy say that with a straight face?...
Is it a lie? I can’t tell.
All I know is that he’d beaten off three other kids, one who was larger than him, and he’d won.
Seemingly, at least.
If what he just said is true…
I think this is quite possibly the dumbest boy I have ever seen.
I don’t know how long I’d been staring at him, but he presents a smile at me and reaches out his hand.
“Need help up?”
How long was my mouth slightly open at him? Was his stupidity really that powerful?
Everything I have ever seen in my life— it goes against what this boy does.
No, that’s not right, rather… everything this boy does defies logic. It goes against everything I’ve learned here.
I just…
I can’t understand what he’s doing, why he’s doing it, or if he even understands what he’s doing at all.
Should I be afraid of him if he realizes what it is he’s doing?
Would he even care if he found out?
“Suit yourself, then,” he says to me.
Apparently, I’d been lost in thought trying to reason out his actions for so long, so much time had passed he’d taken my lack of response as a denial.
I slowly clamber to my feet and wipe my face of the mud and water that was on it.
I suddenly remember that the bullies had been tugging at my hood and cloak, at which I hastily check over it for damage, but I find none other than some mud on the fringes.
“Do you like it here or something?” He asks me yet another question.
“I-I don’t… know…”
“It’s the second time I’ve seen you here.”
I fall silent at his response. I still don’t know how to feel about him, so if he realized that this was my safe space, I will have lost it for certain.
“Why are you always here by yourself?”
“I d-don’t know…”
“Why not?”
“I j-just don’t k-know okay?!”
I try to rush off away from him, but I stop after just a few steps. I feel like he’s so dense he wouldn’t know, so I can’t help but try to warn him.
“Don’t do this again, for your safety.”
“Why?”
I wordlessly walk off without answering his question and start going back home.
“Maybe I’ll see you again sometime, then!” I hear him yell at me from a distance.
Something bad is going to happen to him because of me. I know it.
Or maybe it will be himself…
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dansnaturepictures · 2 years
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06/01/2023-WWT Slimbridge: Part 1 of 2-Birds I saw for the first time this year today We came into Slimbridge today and had an amazing day of birdwatching with so much seen and some incredible species over some glorious hours spent at this iconic reserve today. It was one of those dream days where based on what’s usually about on this trip we often do at this time of year, what has been seen lately and which birds I needed to see for my year list I saw everything we tried to which was fantastic. Thanks must go to the friendly WWT staff and fellow birders for a few like Snipe and Scaup for useful pointers and guidance on birds and I’d like to think we gave back a bit to others of the great people we met today in return throughout the day. My bird year list ended the day on a pleasing 110 a figure I always love getting to and after it being my joint easiest date reaching 100 birds in a year with this day last year when we came here too early today it’s the earliest I’ve ever reached 110 birds in a year bringing my days off in this incredible birding week to a grand end. In this post I talk through year ticks today, and my next post talks about other key birds seen today, plants, fungi, the landscape and has my full wildlife sightings summary for today. This post is here: https://dansnaturepictures.tumblr.com/post/705739977139634176/06012023-wwt-slimbridge-part-2-of-2-other-birds
It was an honour from start to finish to see the gorgeous Bewick’s Swans, old and young with their grey feathers, getting smashing intimate views of these angelic migrants with their evocative honking calls which just shouts wild to me and their immaculate yellow and black bills and fine feathers. I felt immersed in seeing them. It was good to see them feed by flapping their feet and at the late afternoon feeding they do here see them peck at each other and Canada Goose in a bid to hold access to areas where a lot of food was. I took the second, seventh with Mallards, eighth with Tufted Duck and Coot and ninth pictures in this photoset of them. Another Slimbridge specialty we saw for the first time in 2023 here today were the enormous Common Cranes flying and still old and young. It was so lovely to see these enigmatic birds so well again, I always feel so lucky to. As bird 101 of my year it narrowly missed out on being my milestone 100th bird of the year for a second year running. Then there were Golden Plovers, a key one here that we had to work for last year that we saw soon into the visit and at various points across the day today as they frequently burst into the air with Lapwings such stunning natural sights and a joyous spectacle to behold. They created a sea of shining colour when stood which was so rich to observe and take in a true highlight today. The sixth picture I took today in this photoset of three of the Common Cranes also has Golden Plovers, Lapwings and Teal in it. 
As hoped at Willow hide as we did in early 2019 and 2020 visits here we got exquisite and breathtaking views of two gem like Water Rails. Such a pleasure to see these two in all their glory getting prolonged views, seeing them up against Woodpigeon and their larger relative Moorhen was lovely for comparison and it was interesting to see the two engage in a chase too. I took the fourth, fifth and tenth pictures in this photoset of them. Reed Buntings seen really well here and Greenfinch in the bird collection areas late on as the first picture in this photoset I took today shows were two valuable year ticks that I’d not ticked here before that I simply hadn’t seen in home areas yet this year, two it was good to get seen and it will stand out in this Slimbridge visit compared to other years.
A spine of the day for year ticks was formed by four wader ticks; Black-tailed Godwit and Snipe likewise ones we had not yet seen at home. The Snipes at a couple of points we got lovely views of and this species was my milestone 100th of the year, one I am rather fond of so I was pleased with that. I took the third picture in this photoset of the first three we saw with Lapwing. Then there were two I hoped for today that were a species we tend to see a bit later in the year for home areas and one we’re never guaranteed to see in a year at home respectively Ruff and Knot. The former always a rustic and fine feathered treat of a bird to see which I loved getting seen so early in a year unlike recent years and the fair few of the latter all lined up felt like a classy bonus bird.
At the pinnacle of it all today perhaps is that we managed to see the Scaup on the south lake thanks to help from a kind WWT person we got chatting to a few times today and another birder. This was a fantastic alluring species to get so lucky to observe, a real attention grabber at the reserve currently which it’s always great to feel involved in seeing. This cute and pretty bird is only the third of the species I’ve ever seen, a serious contender for the best bird of my week off to start the year among many special ones. And my family of the week has definitely been ducks, as I mentioned earlier in the week we quickly saw nearly every species of duck we expected at this time of year down here with crackers and great views of many and have added Common Scoter and Scaup real quality rarer species which has been great.
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bobelblogger · 5 months
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Discarded
Raiders of the Lost Realm Part B
No chance, if she got one or two it wouldn't be enough, by the third or fourth they'd have her in the crosshairs, no where to run, ten rounds in each mag, Most effective at a closer range.
A ploy came to mind, wether triggered by the pistol emblem or its name, Gottvia, a landed lady who as penance for a scandal was paraded naked atop a horse around the countryside with only her hair to shield her body instead of whipping or branding, convinced the courts it was a crime to harm such a magnificent creation.
L.C took inspiration from her, quickly undoing her braid and slipping out of her top, removed her shoes and took off her socks.
Stood up slowly and called out "I know where the Obelisk Key is, I'll show you if they go free first."
L.C raised her hands even with her head as a whole line of glinting muzzles tracked her movement. 
Her glorious tan DDs bouncing in sync with swaying hips as her brown hair flowed down her middle and sides.
Thoran and Probsta both on their knees were held by a soldier with the CO standing between them, his eyes hidden behind red tint sunshades.
"I'll lead you there, you don't need them." So saying through clenched teeth, hands raised.
"Alright, you have a deal." He turned ordering them to lower weapons. Yet fingered his machete hilt.
L.C was sweating bullets closing the distance to fifteen yards as the hot tarmac baked her feet and the setting sun behind blazed her back and butt.
The lustful eyes of twenty men stared at her majestic glossy athletic body.
In that moment the shoelace holding the triggers of her guns between her armpits was tongued a rapid burst hit four in one go. The second burst hit the one holding the two as the rest regained their wits Probsta fell flat and rolled away as Thoran wrested the firearm of his captor and mowed down six more.
L.C sprinted at the CO who drew his weapon to slash Thoran, taking the empty pistol and whipped him in the throat. An audible crunch when it hit made her sure she'd broken it, his swipe faltered and cut Thoran's flight jacket sleeve through to his shoulder, shouting out in pain he stumbled spraying bullets hitting nearby canisters labeled Gift leaking the contents.
The last swipe L.C dodged as he went down, propping him up for cover while dragging the body through the captive pens L.C shot every latch off letting a stampede of fleeing jungle folk cover them as they climbed aboard Probsta's Lyun Aeroship. Her remaining pistols magazine were two bullets and empty and the extra mags were on her gun belt with her discarded clothes, but she had the Mercs machete, Probsta had a rifle as did Thoran, putting on the sunshades in a fashion pose pistols crossed over her breasts.
The machine spurred and piffed, bullets wizzed by the spinning props as labored engines roared like mighty beasts waking rang in her ears.
Thoran gave L.C his flight jacket and climbed the ladder up into the ballast regulation compartment.
Lifting off as the ground fell away and just cleared the edge of the bases fence, the sun began going down beyond the furthest hills as evening settled in. 
"We're overweight, we must gain height!" Turning around "drop spare fuel." Thoran reported.
"A slight increase in altitude, we need to lose anything--oopsy turned on the gamaphone." Probsta said.
L.C opened the gull wing hatch as a blacklisted symphony issued from the horn.
She pitched four fuel barrels out into the sky, suddenly the craft lurched left and she was hurled out the hatch by sheer luck she grasped for the last cable mooring line with her hands, holding on for life and limb screaming as the tallest trees scraped L.Cs soles they soared higher.
She tried climbing but her sweat slicked body couldn't move, up above she saw Thoran try to reach the cable halfway on the skids but was unable to, he ducked in and came back with a parachute in hand, gesturing a toss she nodded and with a light throw she caught it.
L.Cs toes clamped so tightly on the mooring ballast they cramped as her free hand tried to put the chute on.
"I've been good, I'll make an offering." It seemed the wrong deity heard her plea.
Dragged through a swarm of bugs, gross stinky guts filled glow bugs, spitting and wiping her face had barely breathed when she was pecked by a bird, then another then more and more until she pulled the chute cord tugging brutishly on her chest as she floated gingerly downwind.
"I'm never flying again, you fuckers hear me? L.C hollered at the skies, "Eat flowers and shit fertilizer you fucks!"
Far far in the distance the music from the Aeroship disappearing into the trees gave her a heading to follow.
------
The right shitty part was she would have to go on foot, before long the chute snagged some branches as she dangled trying to unhook the harness.
Every single thing about this mission was bizarre and gross and whacked on so many levels it was comical to L.C.
Once she wasted enough time swinging to no effect, a drop to ground of uncertain texture below began to climb.
The cords dug her hands as she pulled herself higher then grabbed for a branch and hand over handed to a noch then hit the buckle release and nearly fell out the tree.
Something was watching her through eyes that shone white and glowed, it's silhouette form hunched with a long tail.
"My domain you have disturbed and intruded on, what is your offering to stay my fangs, nude lady?" It insisted.
"I'm not here on purpose damnit, leave me be and I'll leave your domain, I'm trying to get someplace else."
It moved from tree limb to tree limb like a wisp of mist, L.C rifled through the jacket for any trinkets or tools or crucially a fucking knife, just a photograph of some bimbo naked in a pond curled up like a little bitch.
"I asked the nude lady a question, if places were reversed I would answer less a bad outcome be delivered."
"Take the jacket and let me leave unmolested, do we have a deal?" L.C removed her only covering holding it out.
"Nude lady looks quite fetching, leave it on the branch, use the vine to descend tree." It indicated with its eyes.
'Fuck this shit, fuck this prick, just grab the vine to the ground and Amelia's your aunt get to the Doc.'
Making the jump quickly wrapped the jacket around the vine and slid down until the sloshy murk met her feet, made for the light fading through the trees, "Game on bitch." She mocked.
"I'll rip that thing from your quivering corpse when I get my fangs on you!" Not far behind the voice shrieked.
She had no alternative, as only a person running for their life could L.C hauled ass like it was on fire, spidered up a rooty rock ridge which went awry after she reached a handhold and wretched her wrist on it. "Fathersucker!"
L.C didn't hear any snaps of twigs or rustle of leaves afterward and that spooked her more, looking back swore she glimpsed a faint twinkle of white that disappeared.
Checking her jacket pockets once more in a mad hope for a fucking lighter or a fucking knife.
As her legs ached and lungs heaved, before her a long ravine just beyond with a sullen orange and black stripe skinned bra band and loin clothed silver white haired female sitting crossed legged on the only tree trunk over the consuming abyss, a flute lay on her lap, moreover her big ears took form like a bat or bear, a white tip tail whipped around behind her in a blur of movements.
L.C made a step and a half forward with trepidation and watched the hybrid lick her lips and yawn up to the sky.
"Ah Muna, up earlier than normal, maybe she's feeling month pains as well, we all get them, a curse forced upon us."
"I've wondered what it would be like, such a tranquil place to live and have a life, only take food and my instrument."
"How lonely must she be, only meet Solas on passing days, they part and wait until they meet once more."
The last thing L.C wanted was to set this chick off until she found out if she was alone, talk is worth life.
"Do you like the top or bottom, it makes no difference to my sisters, they've taken their fill on this day." The alurring minx asked and stated.
L.C shrugged.
Taking her silence as submission, uncrossed her legs while swapping the flute to her left hand, sniffing the air.
"I'm partial to being the rider rather than the ridden myself, taking in the smells and sounds as a sensual snack."
As she spoke an odor began to tickle L.C's nose as her senses grew sluggish and her thoughts muddled.
"My mate would blindfold me to seek him by ear playing his flute, sometimes only by nose and his aroma." She began to fidget more and her eyes widened, her tail flared as she stood up and took two steps forward also.
"You want to hear a song about lovemaking." Brought the flute to her lips began playing and seductively swaying.
L.C shook her head and turned away so as to non verbally answer, honestly the tune sounded pretty but she really didn't have time for this and really why would she with an injury and no compass or map to find the way.
"Not very conversational, well in any event you don't have much in the way of looks unlike me, still you'll suffice."
"Why does everything inhabiting this overgrown zoo want to fight or fuck me, let me pass," She tiredly voiced.
"You come where the wild live you come to get wild." She tossed the flute and adjusted her bra band.
"No, I won't let this be over, you want to pass this ravine and I want a wrestling match, savvy?"
L.C's gut grumbled rubbing her wrist which had swollen in size, the options fewer so took a fencing stance.
"They call me Smallfang, what is your go by tall, tan, tited interloper." She stated giddily smirking. "L.C." she replied.
Right as they locked limbs a slithering feeling went up her spine and overcame her senses as the world darkened.
Awake to find herself on the tarmac at sunset amid her own heartbeat and sounds of muttered insults. Before she could move they had her by the arms as she knelt nude among the toadskin camo clad company, trousers and skivys pulled from the waist down, hard cocks of varying sizes and shades met her eye level, dirt marred her tits and face, her plan had seemly failed, they had her and no one was coming, the circle parted to allow the CO through, his head shaved into a stubble cut drew attention to the left ear which seemed partly bitten off, red tint sunshades covered his eyes and brows leaving a crooked nose thick mustache and wide toothy smile to convey his smug asshole expression.
"We want you to star in a short film, title pending all you need to do is obey commands and you'll still draw breath."
A reel cinematic camera and tripod was brought out with the scene set she knew what they wanted.
Fed her lines L.C reluctantly gave a show finger tracing her tatas and biting her lip with a purr swaying and turning her head as each made use of her mouth while her hands juggled balls while more jerked off into her hair across her back and ass while the orally pleased spilt over her chin and boobs as she licked and suckled, hummed and swallowed, the bitter taste made her sick as it seemed to go on and on with more pushing her onto all fours she felt her whole being ache with shame and deep inside a caged whorish lust was let loose, the whole company rigorously reamed her anus and vale with untempered vigor, she only came once and it was from the rearward attentions of a very husky merc that held her ears, rubbing them simultaneously with his long thrusts timed to her own, wailing moans of abject defeat and fulfillment undulating from her throat like roars.
Long after two reels worth of footage was left to lay languidly leaking love liquid as each dropped a coin by her prone form, she wasn't returned her clothing or footwear, they each held a piece of it, returned to her feet and hared her spanked tush into the bush amid a choir of jeers and taunts, a trail of muddled viscous goo left behind.
As L.C came to from the dream or vision or reality ripped a huge fart as Kittycat sat atop her bent over her vale.
"Yuck nasty cur, right in my mouth!" Smallfang sputtered and recoiled from L.C as she yelped in disgust.
Taking hold of and locked the stunned femme feline in a choke began massaging her ears with a steady rhythm.
"Yeah well trick or treat suck my teat." She mocked and tightened her legs in a vice of horny heat.
Struggle as she may L.C could tell the catress was getting weaker from the smell the pressure on her throat and the endogenous rubbing between her ears. "Say auntie." She squeezed " Say it, say your beaten."
"Mmmm never....rather....die....oh white....tiger....forgive....me....au....aun....auntie." tapped her palm on L.C's knee, submitting.
The sphere in the sky bled, or scientifically turned sanguine as it climbed higher up, Smallfang sat up and purred.
"Now, lead me to the site of my choice then go your own way." L.C stood over her and sternly intoned, letting her stiff Thoran's jacket who crossed the ravine and led her into the blood moonlit jungle.
------
Once Smallfang located the wrecked craft, L.C inspected the pilot compartment that separated from the main body and nearly deflated aerobag by a wide stretch, the seat still had its chute most likely they rode it down, A cluster of red dots on the headrest and panel alarmed her; 'who's blood was it, where were they, what could she do?'
Yowling had her turn around a split second later to more noises filling the breeze as yet more denizens of this perilous ponderous place made themselves known, Smallfang a did a somersault off her rocky perch and landed on fours then scurried inside, sniffing the chair led L.C to the chartbox a map wasn't in it but a stack of aerial photos were, denoting targets of priority in G bombing runs, along with two codebooks written in Trishian script.
Curious but realizing her time was running out stuffed the books in into her jacket and followed her catracker on the trail of smells, for what seemed a brief eternity until they heard gunfire and flashes in the night.
"It is here we must part ways, I can say it's been fascinating." Smallfang bowed and sprinted off back into the dark.
Within closer view the moon's glow cast her shadow in the line of sight from the force she judged was her own.
Elephants, monkeys, raptors and bears lay dead near circled colonial corpsmen and six dozerollers, upon which the red with purple clawed banner blew in the wind, the Doctor sat amid and without her helmet for the first time L.C noticed the burn across her forehead down her cheek on the left side.
"Crafton, you're extremely late, I though you dead, have you got the tablet halve in your possession?"The Doc ordered.
The homing function on the android should've activated and brought the item. "Its with the android" L.C admitted.
From the dark a feminine form with torn flight gear stumbled into the clearing as from another direction the hunched hairy form of Beth-Butha-Betha and the limp body of the Jace unit and with her the tablet,
"Just hold it, don't shoot her she's friendly,
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benjaminsblog · 1 year
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19-20 August 2023
I kicked off my birthday “weekend” by celebrating my previous birthday, as I had an outstanding birthday present to cash in! It was an unusual one – an alpaca walk with my sister – which had been postponed a few times due to #life, but the 363-day wait was well worth it!
We met up at Abbots View Farm and were greeted by a friendly pair of staff members, who gave us and about ten other people a brief lowdown on safety & etiquette before handing us the reins to an alpaca apiece; I opted for Sir Keith (née Sir Kicks-a-Lot) and Hannah took charge of Freckle. We all followed the leader around the farm at a very leisurely pace; alpacas will not be rushed, so what is normally a 15-minute walk at most lasted about 45 minutes. But that was part of the fun – we had plenty of time to ask questions about our walking buddies and give them some pats/strokes. Sir Keith was completely chilled the whole way round (hence his rebrand), and once we all bimbled back to the starting point, we fed some more alpacas and a few ducks, said hello to the pigs and goats, and enjoyed a complimentary lil’ cake in the barn before returning to mine.
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We weren’t quite alpaca’d out, so after we’d played some quizzes and jammed to some music we revisited an underrated Disney film from our childhood - The Emperor’s New Groove – and enjoyed the irreverent, fourth-wall breaking silliness. I also got Hannah re-hooked on another throwback from yesteryear, a puzzle game called Hexic (on the Xbox) that I think she’d quite happily still be playing if we didn't have things to do the following day:
We drove to Sunningdale to see Mum, Helen and Granny for a shared birthday celebration for me and Mum: as well as the sparkling company, there was great food, a few gifts, and some excellent games on offer.
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The “Tennis Bin Challenge” made a much anticipated return - I managed an appropriate score of 21 and even Granny had a go! However, the undeniable standout of the day was Helen’s “Fun With Flags” game, which required us to draw flags for countries that began with each letter of S/U/E/B/E/N, with each one scored out of 5 based on accuracy + degree of difficulty! Needless to say I was in my element, and although I didn’t achieve a perfect 5 on any of my drawings, my position as resident flag nerd remains firmly intact. That may be my favourite gift I received!
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amrv-5 · 2 years
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towers ??????????
also another potentially abandoned boy. I'm mostly working on hawk goes home, which is shaping up to be..... like 100K or something similarly absurd because i'm finally writing a litfic.
but this is not that. this is. an absolutely unhinged tower of babel beejhawk au. because it's All About Stunted Communication And Not Leaving Notes. text below cut:
“So not a doctor,” Hawkeye mused. The label had felt right. Dr. Hawkeye. His hand twitched, and he rubbed his thumb absently over a flat callus on the side of his fourth finger. 
“Based solely on linguistic evidence? No,” BJ said, twisting and cracking his back.
“Or we both are,” Hawkeye said. Outside the recess, the light was approaching the color and consistency of gruel. A few tentative and unparseable echoes from the spire’s interior signalled the beginning of the work day. 
“Or that,” BJ conceded. He bent over and wrapped his hands around his ankles. “It could be I’m an encyclopedist, and you’re a doctor.” 
“I’m the encyclopedist, and you edit anatomy textbooks,” Hawkeye countered. 
“Still a medically aspirational career, at least,” BJ said into his patellas. “I edit textbooks, and you’re in forensics.” 
“I’ve always been comfortable in front of a crowd,” Hawkeye said, looking out into the wide empty airshaft of the spire. 
“Definitely not a doctor,” BJ said, standing again. “Who ever met a doctor who could communicate anything?” 
The light was intensifying, moving from gruel-colored to cream-of-wheat. In ten minutes or so it would level off between the Pantone swatches for smoker-fingernail and vomitus. “Forget speaking. They can’t even write.”
“Words are to doctors what balls are to a pneumatic tennis cannon.” 
Hawkeye laughed. “Duck!” 
“Or at least turn your head and cough.” 
Hawkeye went back up on his elbows. “What do you call a doctor—”
“You don’t. His secretary will be in touch.” 
Hawkeye laughed again.
BJ stuck his head out of the alcove, looking up and down the stairs. “I got a better one. Listen. So this doctor gets laryngitis. He goes into work with his throat all swollen shut. Can’t say a word to anybody. But he’s got patients to see. He can’t cancel the appointments last minute. Don’t ask why, he just can’t. But since he’s got to go in, and he can’t say anything, not a single word, he gets the bright idea to communicate via notepad. To his surprise, business takes off overnight. He’s got more patients than he knows what to do with. So he keeps it up, even when the laryngitis goes away. He just sits down, listens to a patient, and then writes to ‘em what he diagnoses ‘em with over this little notepad. Business is unbelievable. He’s got so much income he hardly needs to pad his bills. Obviously he still does, ‘cause he honors the central tenants of his noble and ancient profession, but it’s more of a ceremonial rip-off at this point. And he keeps this up for years, this thing with the notepad. His patients adore him. Finally, when he’s about to retire, he pulls aside a patient, somebody he’s seen for decades now, and asks over the little notepad, “Why does everyone love the notepad so much? Why are you all so enamored with doctoring-via-notepad? Believe you me, I’m grateful to the notepad, it put my kids through college and let my wife quit and focus on her hobby, collecting, she collects those little ceramic figurines of German children, our kitchen is full of them, every surface is covered with infinitely breakable little German children figurines, and because of the notepad that’s possible, but even more than little German children figurines I’m grateful I’m glad I could help people, make a positive impact on the world, help rehabilitate the image of the medical profession, give people a doctor they feel they can trust, someone they see as, if it isn’t too forward of me to say so, a part of the family, and all because of the notepad. I’m grateful, but I have to know. Why? Why does everybody love the notepad?” And he tears off the paper and hands it to her, and looks up at her expectantly, waiting for a reply. And the patient looks down at the notepad, and smiles, and puts the paper in her bag, and says, “Thank you very much, Doctor, I’ll have that filled at the pharmacy on the way home.””
“Well, then, that’s the test,” Hawkeye said, rolling slowly to his feet. “Legibility.” 
“Did you get it?” BJ asked. 
“Legibility,” Hawkeye repeated. “Understandability. Parsability. Clarity. Ease of reading.” 
“The joke is nobody can read his handwriting,” BJ said. 
Hawkeye sighed. “Never explain a joke. Kills it dead.” 
“I won’t ask you to explain yourself, then.” 
Hawkeye waved him off. “Readability. You understand? Handwriting.” He clenched a fist, raising it towards nothing in particular. “Palaeography.”
BJ patted his thighs, and then drew back, embarrassed again. 
“No pen,” Hawkeye surmised. “No paper.” 
“No,” BJ said. “But if we had, it’d be the test. See if your chicken scratch is legible.”
Hawkeye flexed his hand, and tried to remember what it meant to write.
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