#the homophobia tastes amazing tonight

[midnightscramble]

Oh dios mio. I've re-read your Portia x reader and I've got to say that it's absolutely amazing and I can just imagine Portia thinking 'How would her hands feel on her' the sensational touches she would receive. I really hope you have a great day, love. ☺️

Sugar, Sugar Part 3 (Portia Featherington x fem!Reader)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

The Masterlist

Author’s Note: Thanks for your continued support! If this is not what was envisioned feel free to request again (don’t be shy!). Happy readings to you.

Summary: The women start to feel more and more attached to each other. Penelope confronts her mother. In a moment of weakness, Portia breaks their agreement, consequences follow...

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, fingering (Portia receiving), oral (Portia receiving), bottom Portia, internalized homophobia, angry-ish sex, no Beta read

The next night, Portia arrived to the bakery earlier than the agreed upon time. She walked down the aisles, vaguely looking through the shelves as she focused on listening to her baker bustle around the kitchen, obviously preparing for their meeting. She heard a deep sigh of satisfaction emit from the kitchen. As if on its own accord, Portia's mind produced images of Y/n, cheeks flushed and head thrown back as sweat slid down the column of her throat. Blinking back to reality, Portia felt desire settle in her abdomen, sinking as gracefully as a stone falling through still water. She pinched herself, such thoughts were improper, especially since she knew that Y/n's sigh was most definitely attributed to a baking related achievement.

She could not shake the warmth that tinged her cheeks pink, nor how Y/n's soft sigh seemed to echo in her ears. For the rest of the evening she sat with hands beneath her thighs, worried she would be overcome with the want to touch her sweet baker. If Y/n noticed her sudden hesitancy, for once she was polite enough not to mention it.

For the next week, Portia dreamt only of the young baker. While not particularly proud of the development, the Lady selfishly felt eager to sleep after their evening meetings. She could no longer deny her feelings for the other woman. In fact, the harder she consciously fought against it, the more radical her subconscious became in reminding Portia of her sinful desires.

Having experienced so little romantic pleasure in her life, Portia was content to keep this secret to herself, reap the blessings her dreams bestowed upon her. As long as she did not act upon it, it would be a non issue, she simply had to control herself.

...

Well practiced in self control, she continued to see Y/n every evening. However, on the thirteenth night of their agreement, Portia felt her resolve begin to crumble.

Sitting across from each other, Y/n unveiled her latest temptation, a pastry shaped like a heart. They sat in silence, the air around them was alight with electricity, leaving Portia feeling frozen yet energetic. The baker's eyes were soft, and something in her posture was different than other nights. She seemed to have forgone her usual bravado and crassness, that manifested in slouched shoulders and easy movements. Now, Y/n was still in her own unease, face dashed with hopefulness and vulnerability.

Portia swallowed, if she accepted the treat, then these meetings would come to an end. However, the alternative of rejecting the treat made her mouth taste bitter. Her knee bounced under her thick skirt as she considered. The dessert was precious, she wanted to pick it up with her hands and run her fingers along the flaky edges to appreciate its perfection.

Her voice grew quite as she spoke, falling off into a whisper, "Although it is delicate, and undoubtably exquisite, it does not tempt me..." Per usual, the baker gave her a kind smile, yet, tonight's held an element of disappoint. Portia wanted to rectify that, so she reached out and took the baker's hand, "You are so skilled, I'm sure tomorrow you will catch me."

Y/n intertwined their fingers and smiled subtly, "I suppose I must be satisfied with the thoughts of tomorrow," neither moved to extract their hand.

...

Portia returned home, feeling an unfamiliar ache in her chest which urged her to go back to the bakery and beg for a taste of the baker's heart. While it soothed her to be able to touch Y/n, she felt a pang of guilt from causing the subtle distress the baker experienced over tonight's rejection. It had all felt so different, as though they were speaking another language, one which Portia seemed to mispronounce every time she attempted to speak.

Sitting at her vanity, she brushed through her hair, trying to find a calming rhythm. A knock sounded at her door and having been so deep in thought, she jumped at the intrusion. Penelope entered slowly, looking rather sheepish.

"Mother, I must ask you an uncomfortable question..."

Portia sighed, "On with it," she prompted.

"I heard a rumor," Penelope could not out right say she had been following her mother, "that you have been having midnight rendezvous with a baker in town." Portia felt her throat constrict and if she hadn't already been sitting she surely would have lost balance. Goosebumps raised on her arms and a shiver climbed up her spine.

"She's my friend, who happens to have a very busy day and is only available at night." The excuse was rushed and Portia's eyes shifted away in an effort to hide.

"So you do not deny it?"

Portia mentally cursed herself, denying it altogether would have been much easier but now it was too late, "No, I do not."

Penelope continued, seemingly talking aloud rather than asking an actual question, "Then why lie to us and say you are off to bed, when you are really leaving to see a friend..."

The Lady's blood ran cold, she looked at her daughter and watched in abject horror as Penelope pieced it together. "You fancy the baker," It was stated as fact, almost light heartedly as her daughter was all too pleased with her own deduction.

"Penelople-"

"There is no use in lying, Mother. Although, shocked as I am, I must remind you of something," Penelope raised an eyebrow before quoting the woman, "It is foolish to be unreasonable about what you can achieve."

Portia's eyes watered as Penelope threw her cruel words back at her, before she could come up with a retort, her daughter had fled. She was left to reflect upon the brutal advice. She knew in her heart that she wanted the baker, but it would be unreasonable to believe in the possibility of having her. When she retired for the night, she committed herself to enjoying tonight's dream, as it was the last one she would allow herself to have. She wasn't sure how she had so stupidly let herself become hopeful, after all, Lady's don't have dreams.

...

The next morning Portia accompanied her daughters and their husbands to the Hawkins Hot Air Ballon Event. Although in a depressed state, she choked through an apology to Penelope on the carriage ride over.

"I am sorry. I-" Portia scrunched her nose and sniffed in discomfort, "You are right to have been so angry with me..."

Penelope pressed her lips together in sympathy, "I do not want to fight with you, Mother."

"Nor, I with you. If it is Mister Bridgerton you truly want, then you mustn't waste your time with any other." With a closed lip smile, Penelope nodded and gazed out the window. While their relationship was far from healed, this was certainly an improvement.

Penelope bit her lip, "Do be careful, with your baker. I do not want to see you hurt."

Portia chuckled, "You need not worry, it will be over by tonight." Her daughter eyed her with concern but dropped the subject.

Once the carriage came to a halt, Portia plastered on a smile, ready to make the most of the day instead of dreading the evening to come. She watched as Penelope left and realized that Mister Bridgerton was already watching her daughter with an eagle's eye. She smiled, knowing Penelope would be successful.

She herself filtered in and out of stands, pausing at a stall with various jams and pastries.

"Would you care for a sample, my Lady?" She nodded and was handed a lithe, croissant with sweet apricot jam in the center. Without thinking, she took a bite. As her tongue hit the jam she felt bile rise in her throat. Pulling back she realized she had officially broken her deal with the baker. Her mouth went bitter and all hunger was lost. Out of politeness, she finished the pastry and inquired about where the stand's main store was located in the Ton. She darkly thought about how she would need a new baker eventually.

...

Evening fell, and Portia made her way from the Event directly to the bakery, with the full intention of ending her late night escapades with Y/n. When she arrived, the usual table was not set, in fact all the chairs had been put up for closing. She heard grunting coming from the kitchen and the sound of metal being tossed into a sink, loudly echoing into the store front. Portia flinched slightly.

She called out for the baker, "Y/n?" Silence stung through the air and Portia approached the kitchen warily.

With a red nose and watery eyes, Y/n glared at her, "What do you want?" She wiped at her cheeks, trying to make the evidence of her hurt disappear.

Tentatively, she took a step forward, "I came for our usual meeting-"

Y/n flexed her jaw before seething, "I know that you made an inquiry into hiring Mr. Thompson for your baked goods."

Portia went to deny it but was cut off, "Do not lie to me..." Y/n stalked forward, and by reflex Portia stepped back.

She connected with the wooden prep table and her heart beat loudly in her ears. The baker's hands rested on each side of her, gripping the edge of the table fiercely. With their faces near inches apart, Y/n accused, "Did you like what he had to offer..."

"No," Portia choked out, lip quivering with emotion.

"Do you think he could satisfy your hunger like I could?" Portia shook her head and flushed, unable to speak. She watched as the baker's eyes darkened and the pinch in her eyebrows relaxed.

"Allow me to tempt you tonight?" Y/n's eyes trailed from her eyes to her lips, coyly asking permission.

As if she were emerging from water and gasping for breath, Portia responded, "Yes-" The baker cut her off and surged forward to connect their lips. Y/n's tongue slid across her bottom lip and Portia instinctively opened her mouth, encouraging the woman to deepen the kiss.

Inhaling through her nose, she felt faint as her mouth was thoroughly devoured. Y/n's deft tongue caressed her own and Portia sighed into to kiss. Strong hands came to rest on her waist, slowly grabbing the fabric and scrunching it up. The Lady mewled at the possibility of the touch which she had only ever dreamed of. She slid her fingers into the baker's hair, reveling in the softness of the locks, and how right it felt to cradle her head. For the first time in her life, Portia experienced an unbridled pleasure from sharing a kiss.

She shivered in anticipation as Y/n parted her legs. The baker disconnected their mouths and moved her kisses dow Portia's neck. Her hand stopped as she palmed the Lady's inner thigh, and she nipped at Portia's ear, waiting for permission.

"Please," Portia whined needly, moving her face to try and chase the baker's lips. Y/n gave her a sweet peck, and rubbed their noses against each other. Not wanting to deny the woman further, she moved her hand to cup the woman's sex. Their foreheads connected and Portia let out a contented sigh as Y/n ground the palm of her hand against her. The baker watched as her eye's fluttered shut and her breathes became shorter. Moving her thumb to rub the Lady's clit, she traced along her lips tantalizingly slow, watching how her hips twitched forward. Having gathered enough wetness, she slowly sunk her fingers into Portia's opening. Her neck flexed as she let out a silent moan, and her knees became weak at the sensation.

Pinning her further onto the table for support, Y/n moved a hand to her lower back, encouraging Portia to thrust her hips to meet her fingers. With cheeks as red as her hair, Portia delighted in the guidance, and surrendered all control to the baker. Rhythmically, Portia began to meet her every thrust. However, once she had gotten comfortable in the pattern, it changed. Y/n curled her fingers, dragging them along Portia's walls in a come hither motion. Portia's hips stuttered and a cry left her mouth out of ecstasy. Y/n felt Portia start to tighten around her fingers, and she knew the woman was close.

Portia's abdomen tightened, and she was surprised with herself, not entirely familiar with the sensation. The baker gave her little time to think about it as she dropped to her knees. Portia was confused by the action until she felt a hard lick journey up her inner thigh. Although slightly miffed, she would not deny the woman any part of her. Portia's hands clutched at the edge of the table, knuckles turning white as Y/n sucked her clit between her lips. She gasped sharply and barred down on Y/n's fingers, falling over the edge. Administering kitten licks and slow pumps, Y/n helped Portia through her orgasm until she felt her walls stop spasming.

Y/n removed her hand slowly and rose to her feet, giving Portia a tender kiss which the woman met in earnest. Her hands rested on the baker's shoulders as she rested her head in the crook of Y/n's neck, wanting reprieve after such thrilling intimacy. Y/n chuckled and held the Lady, "Now, can I tempt you with an actual dessert?"

Portia laughed but didn't move from her position, "it would only be appropriate."

[hemlocksandfoxgloves]

for @billylosemynumber 💕💕 (i dont know which account you want me to tag so im tagging your st acc)

You seem to really like these covers, but I still want to update them. In the meantime I hope all the other Harringrove lovers enjoy this, too.

For one of my all time favorite fics by one of my all time favorite fic authors and also one of my new-found friends! Love hearing from you and talking to you!

"Yourself or Someone Like You" by halfempty

Maxine looked happy as they parted from Steve and walked down Main Street away from the theater. She slid into the passenger seat of Billy’s car. 'That was really fun,' she said. She looked at him like a gremlin and then smiled real cutesy. 'Did you and Steve hold hands in the popcorn?' 'I hope you had a real good time, I’m going to kill you in your sleep tonight,' Billy told her.

I love this story with all of my heart. Billy is so true and in love with Steve. I love the fics where Billy has a crush on Steve even when he doesn't want to admit it. But every time Billy calls Steve 'baby' it hits the same way Steve feels. You can hear the love in his voice each and every time he calls him 'baby' because he doesnt do it often, only when in sentimental moments or when he's really trying to get his attention. The way Billy treats Steve in this makes me swoon so hard. The way Billy deals with homophobia and racism in this based on having his abusive dad is so very accurate. The internal homophobia, the acceptance and love he feels from being surrounded by the people that loves him. And him and Max are like 🤞. The sister-brother relationship in this is so amazing. Billy takes care of her when there's no one else around. This is a Harringrove fic but it's also centered on not just Billy but his relationships with everyone else. You get to see how everyone feels about Billy and how that changes as Billy changes himself. Because of love. Because Steve loves him and he's in love. It's a love story!

"Take Me Home Tonight" by halfempty

Steve wondered when he’d gotten so goddamn stupid. Probably the exact moment Billy had first kissed him; all the brain cells had flown right out of his ear. Billy Hargrove was definitely the worst thing that had ever happened to him, he decided.

Ah, Take Me Home Tonight. Can't read this fic without listening to it on repeat. Billy's happy in this!!!! That's all I can say!! He's HAPPY!!! Nobody ruin it for him. Please Steve, be nice to the baby, he needs you. He's got some rightful jealousy issues, (Steve's fault) but I think that gives the story a delicious taste. Just Billy and Steve are happy and in love and fuck Neil!!

The backstories, the descriptions, the story itself.

NOW GO READ IT!!!!!

[sandwich-witch]

im going to turbo hell any of yall want anything 

[peculiarlylost]

Amberprice Fanfic Compilation

To whom it may concern,

I've been felling quite shitty lately and nostalgia is the only thing keeping me breathing, therefore I'll be providing you the best Amberprice fanfic recommendation you didn't ask for.

Previous warnings before you proceed: a. Amberpricefield it's not my cup of tea, so you won't find any here; b. This was made completely based on my own literaly taste (don't come for me if you hated it all); c. I've been struggling with keeping my focus for long periods of time, that's why you won't find a lot of multichapter works here. I'm really sorry, but a long history requires a lot of brain cells and I've burned them all lately; d. Huge thanks for all the amazing authors who wrote this pieces, you've been doing Gods work; e. Fell free to recommend all types of Amberprice fanfic that I missed out. I've made this thinking that someone could be felling as shitty as I'm felling right now and could use some escape from reality to help cope with everything else.

START OF THE LIST

1. Buried Childish Qualities by Scorpion_Queen (https://archiveofourown.org/works/27196012/chapters/66428533) Amberprice + Summer Camp = pure nostalgia. This fanfic fells like those endless summer nights where you would stay up until dawn doing absolutely nothing simply cause you could. It reminds me a little bit of "Looking for Alaska" by John Green which only added for the nostalgia felling.

2. Castles in the Air by Scorpion_Queen (https://archiveofourown.org/works/19161673/chapters/45544687) When I started my marathon of reading Amberprice Fanfic until my eyes stopped working, something that really pissed me of was the over-the-top romanticization of Chloe and Rachel. For me, the beauty in their characters was the visible flaws, that's what made them "touchable". No one is completely good or bad (except Mark Jefferson, fuck him), and this author understood beautifully this assignment. Definelly a must read if you like the nuances of their relationship. Chloe and Rachel are actually Chloe and Rachel in this one.

3. Slumber Party Rules by Scorpion_Queen (https://archiveofourown.org/works/28055220) At this point you must think that I'm in love with Scorpion_Queen. Well, you're completely correct! It's been a while since I loved so much an authors work that I wasted long hours reading all their pieces. I couldn't thank Scorpion enough for that. Basically, this one shot involves a game of truth or dare from Max pov. It was very interesting seeing how other characters interpret the relationship between Chloe and Rachel.

4. Coward by Mogatrat (https://archiveofourown.org/works/11067531) Smut + Angst = pain. I'm a huge simp for authors that shows the ambiguous relationship between them. It's a very quick read, ideal for poop time (that's me trying to be funny).

5. Every Move Just for Herself by Mogatrat (https://archiveofourown.org/works/15923051) Mogatrat do a FINE job when the business is Smutt + Angst. Also, the internalized homophobia is *chief kiss*. This is a very quick read, so you know...

6. Pink Bubblegum by Danganphobia (https://archiveofourown.org/works/13155687) This one just fells like home. It's the type of reading that just fells right, you know? It's easy and uncomplicated. Do you remember how I said it that i hated over-the-top romanticization of Chloe and Rachel? Well, my hatred does not apply to this one. HAPPY ROMCOM AU Y'ALL. Just accept this gift without further explanation.

7. Yours by craashintome (https://archiveofourown.org/works/13210812) Another gift without further explanation. HAPPY ROMCOM AU Y'ALL!

8. Strawberry by Danganphobia (https://archiveofourown.org/works/12627669) Here's the thing: after a while, reading fanfic and pretending that the real world is a mirage got me quite happily alienated. Therefore, that's my excuse for all the fluffy one shots in a role. So, you know, enjoy yourself :)

9. Notice Me by lunargrrrl (https://archiveofourown.org/works/13505091) The format of this one fells like a poem. Honestly, I never thought that something like this would captivate me at all, but it definely did. Pleasant surprise to say at least.

10. So, You're a Fatalist Then? by Dandybear (https://archiveofourown.org/works/12434655) After I read this one, it took me a while to read another Amberprice Fanfic. I have this theory that most of us reads to live a life that do not belong to us. We have the privilege to simply escape. And I loved to escape the fact that Chloe and Rachel never left Arcadia Bay. This piece reminded me what actually happened.

11. Can't Complain About Much These Days by breezered (https://archiveofourown.org/works/13267965) Do you remember the cutscene in the end of Before The Storm where Chloe paints her hair completely blue? Well, I hope you do, because Rachel helps her out in this one. Believe me when I tell you that you need a little bit of fluffy after the last one.

12. Please Don't Be My Valentine by Ghost_In_The_Hella (https://archiveofourown.org/works/18082052) Conversation Hearts by Ghost_In_The_Hella (https://archiveofourown.org/works/29562945) No need to call me Santa or, in this case, Cupid (ba dun tss). Valentine's Day Special y'all!

13. Tonight I'll Lie Awake, Felling Empty by orphan_account (https://archiveofourown.org/works/4583376) If there was a Life is Strange Before the Storm part II, this piece would definely be a part of the plot. If you need more persuasion to read this masterpiece, I will leave you with this quote: "For Rachel, who doesn't believe in past regrets, it will probably be like it never happened."

14. Alright in the Evening (Baby With You) by breezered (https://archiveofourown.org/works/13214394) That's the euphoric felling that Rachel tried to describe to Chloe the night after the play, where everything is possible and running away is the easiest thing in the entire world. This piece fells light.

15. And the Forest Burned (You See Smoke) by breezered (https://archiveofourown.org/works/13153557) This one destroyed me in the most beautiful way possible. I've been staring at my computer screen for a embarassing amount of time trying to describe how this made me fell so I can indoctrinate you to also read it, but I'm failing horribly. Do you know that book that list 1001 things you have to do before dying? Well, if I've written that book, reading this fanfic would be one of those things. If that's not enough for you, stay with this GENIUS quote: "No, loving Rachel Amber doesn’t kill you. It never burns out, not really. Her absence doesn’t make the fire fade or dwindle, it stokes it and stokes it until the passion and the heat from loving a ghost burns you up and leaves you empty. You spend every second of every day painfully loving Rachel Amber until there’s nothing left for you to give, no more energy and no more attention." (I'm also in love with breezered. What can I say? I'm a whore).

16. The Way You Kiss me (Will Work Every Time) by breezered (https://archiveofourown.org/works/13343250) This author is just *chief kiss*.

17. Gone by orphan_account (https://archiveofourown.org/works/16579007) I've never seen a single soul in this Earth that doesn't love Smut + Angst. Have fun kiddos :)

END OF THE LIST

[moonlight-breeze-44]

Hey Em! I've gone through most of your Malec fics and I really love them! (especially the autistic!Alec one but also all those dealing with Alec's mental health issues) I was wondering if you have other recs for me of fics you love, since I'm really new in the fandom and there's so much out there?

Hi there! I’m so glad you’ve been reading and enjoying my fics! That means so much to me :) You’re so sweet! <3

I always have fic recs, so I am more than happy to give you some anytime you want. Here’s a list of a few (or a LOT because I got carried away, oops) that I love with my whole heart. I’m not sure what kinds of fics you like, so I rec’d some of my faves and ones that are specifically about autistic!Alec or Alec & mental health issues.

~ ~ ~

- Walking With Death by Aria_Lerendeair. This is a fic about Malec becoming immortal husbands, and it’s angsty but so, so, so good. Death is a character and Alec buys him coffee.

- Stone Can Be Broken by lawsofchaos and the wonderful sequel Hearts Can Be Remade by Aria_Lerendeair. Both are very angsty, but Laws’ has a hopeful ending and Aria’s has a happy ending. Be sure to read the tags on Aria’s! <3

- Five Times Alec Hides His Tears And One Time He Doesn’t by notcrypticbutcoy. This fic is about Alec’s struggles with anxiety and it is such a heartwrenching read for me. 100/10 recommend. 

- Violet by cuubism. This one deals with some pretty serious suicidal thoughts, so be cautious! <3 Magnus and Alec meet each other on a bridge. Or, the one where helping someone else is sometimes easier than helping yourself. Written by cuubism of the Malec Discord server we’re a part of!

- Wish Upon A Shooting Star by Aria_Lerendeair. Another immortal husbands fic, and it is so, so sweet and has a whimsical, optimistic energy that will surely make you smile. (Bonus points: written by our very own sassy moderator of the Malec Discord server.)

- “You are hurt” by sugarandspace. I’m not sure how much you like parabatai feels, but if you do, this is THE FIC for you. Jenna, who is a member of our lovely Malec server as well, does it wonderfully. It’s set post-3x18 Malec breakup and it has Alec self-harming and lots of feels with him & Jace.

- A Different Time by TK_Extraordinaire. This fic is basically a character study of Alec, a look at how he evolved over the years told from the POV of others.

- Tell me I’m perfect (but tell me the truth) by SquaresAreNotCircles. This fic is one of my favourite fluffy ones and it’s basically 7.5k of Alec talking about how much he loves his boyfriend to everyone who’s not him and then one time Magnus finds out about these secret compliment-fests.

- Brother Let Me Be Your Shelter by alistoney. This fic deals with Alec’s self-harm and it is an add-on to that scene in season 1 when Alec storms away after Jace & Clary kiss. Lots of Izzy and Alec feels, provided graciously by the amazing Zia of our Malec server.

- I will catch you when you fall by sugarandspace. Another fic where Alec self-harms, but this time it’s Magnus helping him out.

- Quiet now, you’re gonna wake the beast by EternallySilverMagnusAndAlec. This is a wonderful autistic!Alec fic that also goes into the emotional trauma that Alec has to deal with from Maryse. Written by EternallySilver of the Malec Discord server!

- Not So Unrequited by Aria_Lerendeair. A best friends to lovers AU that goes through their journey together as friends (including lots of delicious angst) and eventually leads to the confessing of feelings.

- The Lonely Hearts Hotline by Fatale (femme). I prefer oneshots to long fics, so this is one of the only fanfics I’ve read that surpasses 20k. This is the story of CEO Magnus and phone sex operator Alec and yes, it is absolutely as good as it sounds. 100/10 must read.

- Subjective by Accal1a. This fic was actually just posted tonight in the Malec Discord server, but I wanted to link it in case you didn’t see. Hannah has an amazing way with words. This is a 5+1 about Alec & dealing with homophobia. It isn’t all posted yet, but it will be soon, and the first chapter is SO GOOD.

- Autistic Alec AU by AceOnIce. This is a series of fics where Alec is a mundane and autistic, and it shows the journey of his relationship with Magnus. It’s amazing and also written by one of our Discord server members, Amelia.

- shed my skin, my scars by ByTheAngell. This fic is another fic about Alec & self-harm, written by the wonderful Elle of the Malec Discord server, with a few mentions of other ways of not taking care of himself, too. It’s set post-canon and portrays the way that people can fall back into bad habits quickly and easily very well.

- On Thunderstorms and Scared Shadowhunters by alxdrlightwood. The fic in which Alec slowly begins to accept that it’s okay to have a phobia, and Magnus is there to provide cuddles.

- And They Were Roommates by CoolStoryMatt. A roommates college AU where Malec are oblivious idiots that really need to learn to communicate better. Another of the rare above 20k faves of mine. Absolutely hilarious, with great plot and so many moments that’ll make you yell at your screen.

- Whumptober 2019 by Donovanspen. This is a series of works with Malec hurt/comfort and angst.

- No reason to feel like this by sugarandspace. A fic in which Alec deals with depression, and Magnus is there for him.

- it took me years to say the words that you did not even need said by arekiras. A series of fics about autistic!Alec and his life as a Shadowhunter, Head of the Institute, and boyfriend/husband to Magnus Bane.

- Red-Handed by Carmenlire. This is a fic about Alec relapsing with self-harm and Magnus being there for him. Like Elle’s fic above, it also portrays the way one can slip back into bad habits quickly and easily very well.

- Reasons To Stay by AceOnIce. This fic is a 5 times fic with 5 times Alec wanted to die, but didn’t.

- holding onto you by anonlymous. Another Alec & self-harm fic where Magnus is there for him.

- Once You Taste It by Carmenlire. Yet another Alec & self-harm fic, with Alec making the choice to go to Magnus before things get too far.

- An Unlikely Angel by thatnerdemilyj. This fic is a Fraywood brotp where Clary leaves nice sticky notes for Alec after being exposed to all of the bad thoughts in his mind. Bonus points, it’s written by the lovely creator of our Malec server, the other Em!

- First step after the fall by sugarandspace. A fic about the aftermath of 2x08 but Magnus has wings as a warlock mark and he used those to save Alec when he jumped. Lots of angst for both Magnus & Alec!

- Survive In That Despair by thattrainssailed. This fic is one of the only no-dialogue fics I’ve ever read, but it makes the emotion that much more potent. It’s another Alec & self-harm fic, and it’s more graphic than the others I’ve rec’d here, so please be extra cautious! <3

- We Care For Each Other by ZequoiaRose. A bad day fic with absolutely ridiculous amounts of hurt/comfort. So soft, I don’t even have words. 100/10 recommend. 

- I cannot touch because they are too near by jillyfae. This fic is honestly the best fic about the parabatai bond I’ve ever read. It has a truly lovely amount of wordbuilding and is told from Magnus’s POV where he wants to know more about the bond Alec & Jace have. Extremely soft and written by jilly from our Malec Discord server.

- Between The Lines by Carmenlire. If you like pre-canon fics at all, this is an absolute must-read. It tells a heartwrenching story of Alec & his repression due to the Shadowhunters’ homophobic society, told from Isabelle’s POV. 

- Starling by cuubism. One of the best fics about Alec & mental health issues, in my opinion. It’s absolutely heartbreaking in the best way. It can also be pretty intense, so be sure to read the tags and the author’s trigger warnings! <3

- Astraphobia by AceOnIce. An autistic!Alec college AU where Alec’s fear of thunderstorms causes him to meet Magnus for the first time. So, so, so cute. Like, illegally cute.

- The Breath of a Lie by Secretness. This fic is another one of the best fics about Alec & mental healh issues. Although, please be aware - it is very, very intense. This fic will fuck you up good if you’re not careful, so please take care of yourself. <3

- 11:45 by bidness. This fic is the last of my above 20k recs. It is the sweetest workplace AU you will ever read, where Magnus keeps stealing Alec’s lunch and leaving apology notes behind. Also written by the absolutely wonderful Tilly of the Malec Discord server.

- The Best High School Love Story (Maybe Ever) by Aria_Lerendeair. If high school AUs are your thing, you will absolutely love this. It features competitive Malec, best friends to lovers, and the cutest storyline to ever cute.

~ ~ ~

So I ended up giving you like, half of my bookmarks, oops. Sorry about that. I hope you find some that you like among these, and thank you so much again for reading my fics!

Thank you for the ask!

[ghost-in-the-hella]

I hope it's cool for me to drop another one, you just write them so well. Z: “Zip me up?” PriceMarsh

Absolutely! Prepare for a near-lethal dose of pricemarsh fluff.

CW for referenced homophobia and implied internalized homophobia. Also references to Rachel’s death because I can’t not at least mention that.

---

There’s no reason for Chloe to feel so nervous. It’s only prom. She’s never been one of those girls who considers their high school prom to be a pinnacle of her life to be surpassed only by her eventual and inevitable wedding day. Before she and Kate started dating, Chloe would’ve laughed at the idea of even going to prom. She was way too cool for all that mainstream, cliche high school shit even before she dropped out.

But here she is, sitting in the cab of her truck in the parking lot for the girls’ dorms, sweating through her tuxedo shirt as she tries to work up the nerve to go meet her prom date. Nervous. She and Kate have been official for a few good months now, but they’ve never done anything this, well, official. Chloe bought a corsage and everything. She’s wearing her dad’s old powder blue tuxedo from his prom, taken off mothballs for the occasion (lucky for her he was a total beanpole when he was in high school; Joyce barely had to take it in at all). It’s fucking go time.

She flicks her lighter a few times to steady her nerves. God, she wants a cigarette. But she knows Kate hates the smell even though she tries not to complain, and she wants tonight to be perfect. Not for herself, of course - she’s still too much of a hardass punk to care about going to prom, much less about having it be some kind of magical experience - but for Kate. Because Kate cares about going to prom, and Kate deserves a perfect night. She deserves, at the very least, a prom date who doesn’t smell (and taste) like an ashtray. If Kate’s going to risk outing herself to her family with prom photos of her with an obvious lesbian on her arm, well, Chloe’s going to be the best goddamn arm candy she can be.

She tosses her lighter into the glove box and switches off her stereo, silencing the pump up mix she’d been playing to get psyched. She takes a deep breath to ground herself. Okay. Okay. Now it’s go time.

She grabs her tuxedo jacket off the passenger side of the bench seat and slings it on as she opens the door and hops out into the parking lot. She pulls out her phone and texts Kate. 

Me: im here

Me: u ready to wreck shit up w ur hella hot prom date?

Kate: Almost :)

Kate: I need your help with something. Can you come up?

Chloe suppresses the instinct to shout NO EMOJI and restricts herself to a polite: sure

She checks herself out one last time in her side mirror. Her hair’s freshly dyed and combed to a silky sheen, every strand perfectly in place. She’s got a tasteful amount of eyeliner on, like any good pirate, and it makes the blue of her eyes pop. The tux looks surprisingly good for something that’s been packed up in the attic for longer than she’s been alive, and it accents her hair and her eyes both. 

“Your father would be so happy for you. I wish he could’ve seen you.”

Chloe swallows down the sudden lump in her throat. She already sobbed her eyes out enough when Joyce was helping her get ready; she’s not picking up her prom date with raccoon eyes if she cries her eyeliner into a mess (again). She adjusts her lapels (what was it with the late seventies and ridiculous lapels?!) and her blue butterfly boutonniere and strides toward the dorms. 

There are several people standing outside, copping a last smoke before prom. Victoria Chase is one of them, flanked by two girls Chloe only vaguely recognizes. She’s pretty sure the bottle blonde smoked her out once at a Vortex party after she’d lost track of Rachel, but she’s not sure they ever exchanged names. Victoria flicks some ash off her cigarette as Chloe nears, but she pointedly avoids Chloe’s gaze rather than engaging her. So, still kind of an ice queen but maybe she’s learned a modicum of civility in the wake of the absolute clusterfuck that was last semester, between her best friend getting arrested along with her favorite teacher for a gross assortment of sex crimes. And murder.

Chloe’s stomach twists violently at the memory. Fuck, last fall was a shitshow. She’s pretty sure she wouldn’t have survived learning about Rachel’s murder (officially “death by misadventure” because the Prescotts have lawyers out their ass, but Chloe’s nobody’s fool) without Kate’s shoulder to cry on. Chloe still doesn’t believe in god, but if she did she’d say that Kate’s been an absolute godsend.

Chloe spares the girls by the door a quiet nod in greeting as she passes, and two out of three return it (fuck you very much, too, Unnamed Brunette Sidekick). She climbs the stairs to the second floor and hustles to Kate’s door. Her whiteboard is blank today, so Chloe takes a moment to draw a cartoon heart on it before she knocks.

“Chloe?”

“The one and only,” she replies.

“It’s open; can you let yourself in? Alice is being a handful.”

“Ooh, bunny shenanigans!” Chloe opens the door and slips into the room, closing the door swiftly behind her in case Alice is in danger of escaping. Alice’s cage is, indeed, empty, and the bunny is nowhere in sight. What Chloe can see, however, is about half of Kate poking out from beneath her bed. She shouldn’t laugh. She really shouldn’t. She does anyway. Kate’s legs just look so formal as they stick out from beneath her bed at awkward angles, politely wrapped in dark tights and the jumble of what is clearly a very pretty dress that deserves better than to be mangled and coated in dust before it can even get its moment in the spotlight.

Kate giggles, so at least she’s aware of the ridiculousness of the situation and probably isn’t mad at Chloe. “She just will not go back in her cage! Can you help?” Kate flails out a hand in Chloe’s general direction.

Chloe crouches next to the bed and takes Kate’s hand, helping to slide her out from under it. “Hey, bun-bun,” she calls softly to the bunny beneath Kate’s bed. “Your favorite person is here! Come say hello!”

Kate gasps in mock offense and swats Chloe’s arm. “Her second favorite person, thank you!”

Alice hops tentatively out from under the bed and wiggles her perfect little nose at Chloe. “Ah-ha!” Chloe reaches down and gently picks her up. “Got you, you little rascal. Were you making life difficult for your momma?” She gives Alice a nuzzle.

“She’s been such a naughty bunny tonight,” Kate sighs. “I can’t tell you how many times she tried to nibble my dress. And poor Alyssa! Alice got half her corsage before either of us figured out what was happening.”

“Aww, I missed Alyssa?”

“Sorry; she had to finish her own makeup. She did mine, too. Is it too much? I haven’t gotten a chance to check.”

Chloe looks over at Kate and nearly topples over onto her ass, bunny and all. Kate looks beautiful, but that’s nothing unusual; she always looks beautiful. The subtle makeup that Alyssa’s used on her sets off her natural beauty perfectly, understated but lovely as always. Her hair’s in a braid with loose tendrils framing her face, which is a style Chloe’s never seen on her before and definitely could get used to seeing. And her dress is… Well. It’s a lovely dress; Chloe’s no great authority on dresses - she hasn’t worn one willingly since she was about four - but she can tell that much. It’s definitely picked up some dust here and there from Kate’s adventure under her bed, but it’s still obviously a nice dress. Tasteful, of course, or at least it would be if it were zipped in the back.

Which it definitely isn’t. 

On anyone else, it would still be a modest look. But on Kate… This is by far the most of her that Chloe’s seen in months of dating. Kate’s very much a “take it slow” kind of person, and even though historically Chloe’s tended to be more of a “take it as soon and as often as I can get it” kind of person she respects Kate’s boundaries and is happy to let her girlfriend set the pace. So getting an eyeful of Kate’s naked collarbones, the round curve of an exposed shoulder, the suggestion of a bared back is basically the Kate Marsh equivalent of a nip slip.

“Um.”

“Oh, no, is it too much? I asked her not to do anything too excessive…”

“No, no, makeup’s fine. Great, even. You look… amazing.” Chloe wobbles onto her feet and holds out a hand to help Kate up. She presses a kiss into Alice’s soft fur and walks her over to her open cage. “Okay, cage time for bunnies. No more mischief tonight.” She tucks Alice inside and locks the cage door behind her.

“You’re so good with her,” Kate says, wrapping her arms around Chloe’s waist from behind. Normally she’d burrow her face into Chloe’s back, but she restrains herself and Chloe appreciates the effort to preserve the integrity of her suit even as she misses the contact. “This is the best behaved she’s been all night.”

“What can I say? You’re her mom; of course she’s going to rebel. Me, I’m more like the cool aunt.”

“Hmm. Cool step-mom, maybe.”

Chloe’s face warms with blush. She reaches down to place her hands over Kate’s and gives them an affectionate squeeze. “You, uh, you almost ready to go, babe?”

“Almost.” Kate pulls back and Chloe turns around to face her. It’s a struggle, but she keeps her eyes fixed on Kate’s face even as they long to trace the delicate, graceful line of her clavicles. Then Kate turns her back to Chloe, glancing back at her over her shoulder with a soft smile. “Zip me up?”

Chloe blinks stupidly for several seconds before she answers with a silent nod. Her mouth is too dry to speak human words. She has to close her eyes and collect herself for a moment when Kate turns her head away again, waiting patiently for her assistance. Her hands are actually shaking as she reaches for Kate, which is stupid. She’s literally stripped women before. She’s just helping one put more clothes on. Her hands shouldn’t be shaking over that.

She tenderly sweeps Kate’s braid aside with one hand, draping it forward over her shoulder to keep it clear of the zipper. Her fingertip barely skirts against the bared skin of Kate’s back, but she can feel her warmth like a brand. Chloe takes a deep breath in and blows it out slowly to steady herself as she reaches for Kate’s zipper pull. It’s only when she sees Kate squirm slightly that she realizes she’s released her breath directly against Kate’s exposed back. She freezes.

“It’s okay,” Kate says when she feels Chloe tense up. 

Chloe tries to force herself to relax. She attempts to ease the zipper up and it catches within the first inch. Tentatively, she reaches to brace one hand against Kate’s hip for leverage. The zipper slides free and Chloe delicately zips up the back of Kate’s dress. It traces the elegant line of her spine up toward the perfect points of her shoulder blades (Chloe notes two small birthmarks on Kate’s left just above her bra and suppresses the urge to lean down and kiss each in turn). 

Chloe reaches around to gently guide Kate’s braid back to its rightful place when she’s done. She leans in boldly to press a kiss to Kate’s (still bare) shoulder, pausing millimeters away to give Kate time to signal her yes or no. Kate gives a small but unambiguous nod and Chloe kisses her shoulder firmly. Kate reaches her other arm across to tangle fingers in Chloe’s hair, holding her there gently for a moment.

Kate gives a contented sigh when Chloe pulls back, slipping her fingers free from Chloe’s blue locks. “Sorry if I messed up your hair.”

“Worth it,” Chloe tells her with a grin. She steals a quick moment to check her hair in Kate’s mirror, prompting a knowing giggle from her girlfriend. The damage is minimal; definitely worth it. She tidies it with a few quick sweeps of her hands. 

Kate steps into the frame and slips an arm around Chloe’s waist. Chloe reciprocates with an arm around Kate’s shoulders. “What do you think?” Kate asks. “Prom Queens?”

Chloe wrinkles her nose. “I’ll be happy as long as they don’t dump pig’s blood on us. Anyway, I think someone would have to stuff the ballot box pretty hard for me to get elected anything at Blackwell after I dropped out.”

“A year after you left to pursue other options,” Kate corrects her. “Now that you’ve got your GED, I don’t think you technically count as a dropout.”

“Aww, but it’s my whole identity,” Chloe teases. She dips her head to drop a light kiss to the top of Kate’s head as Kate scowls playfully.

“Guess you’ll have to develop a new one, then.” She squeezes Chloe’s hip hard enough to shut her up. “You look really good in that tuxedo. I can’t wait to show you off.”

Chloe raises her eyebrows. “Yeah? Not still worried about what people are gonna say when they see our prom pictures?”

“I’m still concerned,” Kate says thoughtfully. “But I’m more excited. I never thought I’d get to have this.” She turns to look at Chloe, and there’s so much warmth in her eyes that Chloe feels a sudden threatening prickle of tears in her own. “My mother and aunt fed me so many… bitter thoughts about what being gay might mean. All the things I’d never get to do or have because I didn’t think that gay people were allowed them. I never thought I’d get to love someone so much. I never thought I’d get to be loved in return. I never thought I’d get to just be a normal, happy girl on prom night, getting ready with her prom date to go and dance with her friends and have fun like anybody else. But look at me. Look at us!” She turns back to the mirror, leaning into Chloe’s arm. “We’re doing this. I’m going to the prom with my girlfriend, and we look amazing together, and we’re going to pose for stupid pictures and dance until our feet hurt and celebrate with our friends, and at the end of the night you’re going to walk me back to my room and kiss me goodnight because I won’t have to worry about my lipstick anymore and it’s all going to be perfect. And even if it isn’t perfect, it’s going to be ours.”

Chloe feels like she’s going to shake apart she’s so close to crying, eyeliner be damned. “H-hey, Katie?”

“Mm?” Kate turns to look at her sweetly, and god how did Chloe get so lucky to end up with this incredible girl.

“How much do you really care about the lipstick thing? Because I really want to kiss you right now.”

A dimpled smile breaks out across Kate’s face and Kate goes up on tiptoes, touching Chloe’s face lightly as she tilts up her face to kiss her. Chloe does her best to kiss her back like a normal person and not like a drowning woman. “Not as much as I care about you,” Kate answers when they pull apart again. She wipes a stray tear from Chloe’s cheek. “Are you okay?”

“I’m so fucking okay. I might be the most okay I’ve ever been in my whole stupid life.” Chloe plants another kiss on Kate’s forehead. She’s about to start leading Kate to the door when she realizes she’s forgotten something important. She fumbles the corsage out of the inner pocket of her dad’s jacket and presents it to Kate. “Come on, let’s finish getting you suited up so we can light up the fucking dance floor and give all the haters the middle finger. The metaphorical middle finger,” she amends when Kate starts to open her mouth. “Not gonna get myself thrown out of your prom; don’t worry.”

Kate holds out her wrist and Chloe has to bend to slide the corsage into place. There’s a surreal moment when she’s holding Kate’s perfect hand in hers and gently guiding the corsage into place, practically down on one knee to get the proper angle, where she wonders if this is what it might feel like to propose. She can see it so clearly in her mind’s eye: getting down on one knee, probably wearing this same tuxedo because that way it’s like her dad would get to be there, still holding Kate’s hand, still looking up into her beautiful and shining eyes as she gazes down at her with more love than any human heart could hold, Gramma Price’s ring resized to fit Kate’s finger…

Chloe wobbles, suddenly lightheaded, and Kate reaches out to steady her the way she always does. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Kate asks again, brow furrowing slightly with concern.

Chloe presses a reverent kiss to Kate’s knuckles and rises back to her feet. “I’m good,” she says, trying not to sound as dazed as she feels. “I’m great. I’m fucking amazing. You’re amazing. We’re amazing. Let’s go show all of Blackwell how fucking amazing we are.” 

Kate nods, grinning. “Yes, please.” She holds out her hand and Chloe takes it. Before they can make it all the way to the door, Chloe’s phone buzzes in her pocket. With an exaggerated sigh, she pauses to check it.

Mom: Chloe Elizabeth Price, don’t you dare forget to send me pictures!

Kate reads over her shoulder. “Maybe we should show your mom how amazing we are first?”

Chloe grumbles and rolls her eyes but obligingly opens up the photo ap on her phone. As annoying as Joyce can be (seriously, wtf with the Mom ESP?!), Chloe knows that Kate relishes this kind of maternal approval and that she’s never going to get it from her own mother. Joyce has her faults - fucking hell does she have her faults - but even Chloe has to admit that she’s been pretty awesome with Kate. She’s all but adopted her, honestly.

Chloe holds up her phone and lets Kate nestle under her arm. A perfect fit as always.

“Say ‘prom night!’” Kate says, grinning giddily.

“Prom night!” Chloe says without taking her eyes off of Kate, and she takes the picture.

[multimetaverse]

Jamie Johnson 5x08 Review

Tonight was one of the best, if not the best, Jamie Johnson eps so far. Dillon faced some of his toughest obstacles yet in his coming out journey and we got some sweet Delliot moments. Let’s dig in!

This British kids soccer show continues to make history. We saw some very nuanced and mature discussions between Dillon and Elliot about being gay and coming out; how often on tv do two gay kids actually discuss their sexualities?  Elliot gave Dillon some great advice and perhaps more importantly told Dillon that he was in fact brave and a winner on and off the pitch

You’d have to be daft to deny that Dillon and Elliot have crushes on each other after this ep. Seeing both Dillon and Elliot trying their best to look nice before meeting up with each other was cute and their handhold at the pitch was very sweet. Lots of soft smiles and longing glances and we even got a hug before Elliot left

Laquarn has confirmed that he’s not in any more S5 eps and doesn’t know if he’s back for the yet to be filmed S6. I can only hope he’ll come back. It would be a waste of great chemistry and an engaging character if Elliot was just meant to help Dillon with his sexuality before passing the torch to Ruby. He clearly left the door open for a future reunion when he told Dillon to call him when he was ready. Patrick confirmed in an interview today that he’ll be back for S6 and presumably Dillon will be playing for Foxborough or some other pro team. Being in a relationship would certainly be a good spur for Dillon to come out more publicly. And Elliot’s love of astronomy is a perfect set up for a date under the staahs

It’s true that the show has not really focused on ships in a big way; the most we’ve gotten was Boggy and Nancy and the low key Jack, Jamie, and Michelle triangle. But at the same time if Dillon can take Indira out and kiss Sienna then he should be able to date a boy he likes. It would be tragic if the closest Dillon gets to having a boyfriend or kissing a boy is Liam outing Dillon and claiming that Elliot was Dillon’s boyfriend and that he thought they were gonna kiss

And it’s a bit shady that Eric of all people is suddenly getting a female love interest out of nowhere. I just hope when the show eventually ends that it doesn’t turn out to be another Andi Mack where Cyrus was able to kiss a girl twice and go on dates with a girl and use the word girlfriend when none of that happened with a boy

Jamie Johnson really covered a lot tonight with Dillon. We had a very helpful run down of Dillon’s past with girls and the show carefully explains that Dillon never liked Sienna like that, he never wanted to kiss her, he never had a crush on anyone else like she thought, and he never liked Ruby as more than a friend (at least Duby shippers still have Alba and Liam for an Osborne-Simmonds ship). It wasn’t subtle but I think it was necessary to really drive home that Dillon is really gay and there’s no going back. And we got confirmation that Elliot was Dillon’s first crush, he’s obviously never beaten anyone up on this show and the way he phrases it makes clear that he’s never really thought about liking boys that way until very recently

And boy did this ep ever tackle homophobia. Graham Simmonds was seriously out of order this ep. He clearly didn’t want to believe Liam but Dillon using his aftershave already primed him to believe he was trying to impress someone, he just assumed it had been a girl. He really ran through the homophobe’s greatest hits collection: blaming Ruby’s gay parents, saying being gay was a choice, saying that being gay would end Dillon’s career, and disowning and kicking Dillon out for being gay. I suspect that quite a few of the parents watching JJ with their kids hold some of the same views or act the same way and this ep really holds up a mirror and reflects how ugly that kind of behaviour is. We also see Graham praising Dillon’s accomplishments and character right before Liam outs him which just exposes his hypocrisy even more. I do give the show credit for not shying away from Graham’s awfulness, it’s not going to be a quick change for him to suddenly accept Dillon and I’m excited to see his journey to atoning for his mistakes

Thankfully Mrs. Simmonds returned from her banishment to the shadow realm to tell Dillon she loved him and to tell him to return home. Shaun Duggan said he hoped this ep would be a lifeline for kids watching who may be living in homophobic homes (he also mentioned that CBBC rules don’t allow eps to allow on cliffhangers so he has to end an ep showing that the characters are at least physically okay)

It also challenges the audience, most of whom are probably young boys and men, as to whether they will suddenly stop liking Dillon just because he’s gay. It was a real gamble on the show’s part to have their fan favourite character and the effective second lead of the show come out as gay but it has the tremendous pay off of really making the audience question their assumptions and hopefully for some of them it will change their world views

Dillon and Elliot also discussed homophobia in sports. Dillon correctly notes that there aren’t any out players in the top professional teams. Shaun Duggan mentioned in a BBC interview that they like to bring on professional soccer players when they’re having the kids going through things but this time he wasn’t able to have anyone come on to help Dillon because there are no out players. So it falls to Jamie Johnson to basically create that reality themselves by telling Dillon’s story

Patrick Ward did a phenomenal job tonight and he really is the best of the kid actors. He’s mentioned in interviews that he did a lot of research by watching shows and movies with similar gay story lines. In particular his breakdown set to Behind Blue Eyes by the Who was very well done (and once again the show has great taste in music). And of course, Shaun Duggan did an amazing job writing this ep. He’s openly gay himself and that makes all the difference in bringing an authenticity and depth to this story line. On Andi Mack of the 5 textual gay eps only one, 3x11, was written by a gay man and not surprisingly that was the best written by far of those eps

We were 19 minutes into the ep before Jamie himself briefly showed up. And he was 5th in the credits tonight with Dillon and Elliot taking the number 1 and 2 spots. Actually this whole ep had a very small cast and only a few locations, it really helped focus this ep on Dillon. Having Dillon seek out Jamie is interesting in that they’ve been foils for each from the start. But also because it sends a message to have Jamie Johnson himself praise Dillon, it’s a way for the writers to speak directly to the audience through the title character

We’ll doubtless get some more development on Dillon’s story line in the rest of the season but they’ve done historic work so far. A lot of what we’ve seen so far: the depiction of homophobia, coming out to parents, and two gay kids discussing their sexualities has yet to happen anywhere on Disney. Hell this ep alone had more uses of the word gay than Disney has yet to have

I loved how extra the black and white boxing match cold open was. Not surprising that Dillon sees Mike as the supportive (and non homophobic) father figure he wishes Graham was

This was a big step backwards for Liam’s redemption arc tonight but at least at the end he didn’t seem to buying into his dad’s bullshit about them being the only men left in the house. Liam is by no means blameless but he’s also a victim of his dad’s emotional abuse and his pitting his sons against each other. That little meet up with Eric was interesting because they’re foils for each other in some ways and I’m curious to see what lies ahead for Liam and the U13 crew and for how Liam makes this up to Dillon

Looking Ahead:

Finally we get back to the real meat and potatoes of this show; online gaming! Looks like Mike is bored of gardening at the allotment and wants Jamie to get back into real soccer. We’ll see if Jamie makes into the online tournament

Again, not really sure why Eric suddenly needs Ayesha but we’re getting some Freddie anger over Eric choosing lasses over lads

Until next week Jamie Johnsoners

[nancythebisexualslutwheeler]

I’m Coming Home to You

Please read this and validate me.. I wrote this monster in like three hours. XX T 

Part One  Part Two 

He texts Eddie probably too soon. He’s barely folded himself into an uncomfortable seat to wait for the airplane and he only forces himself to send a text to Sarah, before he sends one to Eddie.

From your number: One step closer to home man!

His phone chirps nearly instantly,

From Edward Kaspbrak: I’m glad. Are you in pain?

Physical? Absolutely not. Mental anguish that Eddie thinks he’s playing a game with him because he couldn’t man up and kiss him back? Um, yes.

From your number: I’m fine. Can’t wait to get back home and hit the booze though.

From Edward Kaspbrak: No plane drinking for you?

From your number: And end up crying into the lap of a random stranger? No thanks.

From Edward Kaspbrak: I offered to go with you. You played yourself.

He sends the shrugging emoji and Richie bursts into laughter.

From your number: I’m scared.

From Edward Kaspbrak: I know. Doesn’t mean I love you any less.

Richie’s heart pounds. This is what he means. He can’t do this, he can’t. Their chance is over. They could have had so much, everything. High school and college and they could have gotten married dammit. But nope. Now he’s middle aged and the thought of Eddie saying those words directly to his face, makes him want to vomit.

He puts Eddie on do not disturb, thinks better of it and then powers down the entire phone. He’s having difficulty breathing, and he’s convinced it’s not all entirely his lung.

Richie takes three weeks off to recover, reschedules eight shows and loses about ten grand. His ankle is healed, as well as his head but his lung still hurts if he moves too quickly and he still has this disgusting scar on his face. That’s gonna cost a pretty penny to fix.

He flies out to New York to see Sarah for a few days, and he’s been keeping regular contact with the Losers.

Him and Eddie are.. well. They talk on the phone. Every night. Eddie’s healing up, back to work- analyzing risks- or whatever that bullshit meant. Plugging along with his divorce from Myra. Begging Richie to see him.

Richie avoided it at all costs, terrified of seeing him. So he rambled about his day, his new set, everything.

Richie’s a touch nervous about his show. He’s been laying lower than low since his accident, making extremely sure no one saw him before he was damn well ready.

And apparently that time was gone because he’d no more than ordered his iced latte when some teenager who in all reality is a little too young to be watching his sets, asks for a picture.

It takes him over an hour to get out of the small coffee shop, and that’s only because a manager comes out, pissed.

He doesn’t even want his watered down latte any longer. He angrily throws the coffee into a nearby garbage can and rests heavily against the wall of the building. If even that little interaction was too much, how was he going to get through an entire set tonight?

His phone rings and he has every intention of letting it go to voicemail, until he sees it’s his manager, Steve.

“Hey-o.”

“Rich man, what the fuck were you thinking?! You want to get attacked or something?!”

“I’m barely famous,” Richie says flippantly, hoping he’s not going to get actually yelled at because he can not handle that right now.

“You’re a fucking bum from Maine who somehow got signed with the top comedian company and was promised two back to back tours before you even took pen to paper. Not to mention you nearly died Richie.”

He’s getting sick of hearing those words come out of Steve, and his wife’s mouth. The first entire week he’d been back, he’d stayed with them. He’d gained like fifteen pounds from all the home cooked meals. He’d taken a bubble bath. With epsom salt. So he knows how Steve feels about his accident, he does.

“I just wanted to be normal. For once.” Richie admits quietly.

Steve laughs lightly,

“Me too. Maybe if you were normal, it wouldn’t be so hard being your manager.”

Richie knows it’s a joke, but the sudden thought that Steve wouldn’t want to manage him anymore. His wife is Christian, they have a daughter for Christ’s sake... they don’t need Richie being a bad influence. God, he was just going to get up there and make jokes without any care for anyone else. Not Steve. Not.. he who must not be named. (Okay this isn’t fucking Harry Potter, pull it together Rich.)

“Hey Steve?”

“Yes o favorite client of mine.”

“I made a new set.”

“I know. I am thrilled.”

“Well you may want to taper that back a little.”

“Rich? Is this one of your moments? Do I need to amp you up? Do we need to play Beyoncé?”

Richie is going to kill him. He doesn’t know how to do this. Come out. This is a problem for thirteen year old girls who realized they liked the taste of their best friends lip gloss during practice kissing rather than a boy’s bad breath during real kissing.

“Um, some of my jokes revolve around a guy.”

“Oh cool. You know, you’re not as ugly as you think, but the crowd does go wild for that self hate shit, mainly because your photo of you shirtless at the pool on Instagram got flagged as inappropriate content because people kept commenting “daddy” under it. It’s funny Rich.”

Richie had forgotten about that. He’d thought it was a joke, and he’d sat up drinking beer and eating pizza with his beard Natalie as she insisted, no, he was daddy material. Natalie was a twenty seven year old  from fucking Wisconsin of all places and played a ditzy granddaughter on a soap opera that Richie, being the terrible boyfriend he is, has never seen. She wouldn’t know daddy material if it slapped her in the face. She insists she does. But it’s kind of like the way she insists she's slept with Liam Hemsworth. Her beautiful blue eyes beg you to believe her, but she can’t keep the smirk off of her lips.

“No, I mean. Fuck Steve, you know you’re like a brother to me,”

Steve cackles,

“Damn, this is how you treat your family?”

“Ask my sister because the answer most definitely is yes. Anyway, the joke is about me liking a guy.”

There’s a pause,

“Um, Rich my dude. There’s a word for that and it’s called homophobia.”

Richie grunts and balls his free fist at his side,

“No like, I like a guy. For real.”

There’s a pause,

“Is something wrong with Natalie?”

“No, no no! Oh god Natalie. I have to tell her. Oh god, I can’t go on tonight. I can’t.” He says pathetically. Desperately.

“I understand this is a crisis situation, I do, but we’ve got a baby on the way, and this show is raking in like a quarter of a mill so, you’re going on.”

“A baby? Oh wow!”

Something Richie will never have. Wait. Where did that come from? Does he want kids?

“Richie, shut up. Okay, I’m only going to ask once, are you sure this is what you want to do?”

Richie hesitates. He wonders if Natalie will still want to be friends.

“If you think this will ruin her career, we’re not doing it.”

“Other than that?”

Richie presses his thumbs against his eyelids in concentration.

“Yes.”

It’s barely a whisper.

“I’ll take care of everything.”

“Steve-“

“Everything. Be at the studio at 5.”

“But I don’t go on til 8.”

“Richie, be there on time I swear to god.”

Richie shows up around 6:30. He hasn’t heard from Natalie or Steve, so they can’t be too pissed.

He’d had to shower twice. He’d talked to Mike on the phone. He’d texted Eddie about twice before he got nervous. He’s tired and crabby and this is not the way he’s supposed to be starting his first show back. Not by a long shot.

So the first thing he does is ask the first person he sees for some scotch. Steve might kill him but he needs to be at least tipsy to make it through this one.

He’d thought he was ready, but maybe he wasn’t. He’s not ready to face Steve’s inevitable wrath, or at least annoyance, so he ducks into the dressing room.

To his dismay, Natalie is in there, talking to his hairstylist Maggie. She stands up immediately and she’s got her wide smile on and she hugs him tightly and kisses his cheek instead of his lips,

“You’re late.”

“Sue me.”

She snorts, “I have a lot of reasons too, so I’d shut up. Anyway, I have dinner for you.”

“Dinner?”

“I’m not just a pretty face you know.” And she hands him a Tupperware container.

He hasn’t seen Tupperware in like 15 years. He laughs and she rolls her eyes,

“Come on, there’s a microwave over here.”

She places her hand on the small of his back, perhaps more out of muscle memory and she leads him into the small kitchenette, taking back the Tupperware before heating the food.

“So? This is interesting.”

“You can’t be.. surprised.” He says, even though that’s a straight lie.

“I assumed all men in their forties had issues getting it up, even when a pair of perfect tits in their face.”

He knows she’s kidding. He does, and it’s not even the first time she’d given it back as good as she got but he suddenly feels like crying. She must sense this immediately because Natalie is amazing like that, and she’s wrapping her arms around him. He cries into her chest like a fucking child. They only pull away after the microwave beeps for like the millionth time.

“Oh honey. It’s going to be okay.”

“How are you going to be?”

“Oh you’re cutting me a check. Steve promised.”

“You should be cutting me a check princess. I know your contract just got renewed.”

“You’re making nearly 25k... tonight.”

“Snooping are we?”

She shoves the Tupperware at him,

“Eat your dinner.”

“Natalie, are we still, gonna be friends I mean?” He asks sheepishly.

She made him chicken, potatoes and green beans. He knows everything is homemade. She hated the chemicals in the fake meat he ate. Hey, he was gonna die for a lot of other shit, and probably first. The environment was worth it. Okay not time for a fucking rant right now.

“Honey, we’re family.”

There’s a knock on the door,

“Rich? I’ve got the fucking liquor you ordered.” Steve says, handing him the bottle. “Do not get too wasted.”

Richie gets like.. half a shot too wasted. He’s buzzing. He’s flushed and warm and his hands are sweaty and Natalie isn’t fawning all over him like she usually does and he is stressed. He’s alone. He wants to message Eddie but he pussies out.

When he goes out, the screams are deafening. Once he gets the mic in his hand, he’s flying. He goes on about the nasty gash on his face, hobbling around with a twisted rib and how his crazy, lazy, halfway drunk ass is going to be an uncle. The jokes flow easily, even if he didn’t plan on saying it, and suddenly he has the terrible thought, shrugs and hopes that Sarah has already told her baby daddy.

And then he gets into it.

“So I know you’re all dying to know what the hell happened. I wish I could say that it was some badass like, car robbery. But it was just a straight up mugging. The thing is that I was with my friends, right? I know that’s shocking, hardy har har. But I’m with some friends, and I have this one friend. Her name is Bev, she’s gorgeous, and a bad ass through and through, strongest person I know, my bad, I’m exposing myself a bit too much, I am a heartless prick, I promise.

“But we’re at a bar, and some skeeze, no a real dick, I mean it. Takes her purse. Is this fucking 1992? Who steals a purse? Now, I’ve got a shit ton of liquor in me, but suddenly I’m running. And it’s cold, we’re in Maine and it’s winter And I’m freezing my balls off. And I’ve almost got him, I did track in high school, yeah yeah I don’t look like I can run from here to backstage, I get it.”

The crowd roars.

“The point is, I’m almost on him. This motherfucker pulls out a knife. Now, I know this doesn’t sound funny but  listen, number one, Bev is a fucking receptionist at a dental office, she’s not even raking in the dollars. Trust me, I’ve paid her rent a few times,” he straight up hasn’t and even though he thinks it’s funny ,he shouts out a quick, “love you Bev!”

“Anyway, the guy pulls out a knife and goes insane. I thought this beer belly would protect me, but alas,” his voice is getting sad, so he pulls it together, “Anyway. The first of my friends to find me is someone I’m close to right. My first love. And I’m bleeding out on the cold cement, for real, Natalie, though she could have given me some tips on how to handle it so beautifully, but my first love’s in front of me and I’m pretty sure I’m going to die.

“So I’m going on and on and throwing around big words that my man child ass doesn’t know the meaning of, like love and forever, and he’s staring at me like the idiot I am, and I promise there’s a point to this joke, and the joke is that once again, Richie fumbled. Good old Rich just lost it. So the fuck up you see right here, it turns out I’m actually this way in real life. So please remember what an absolute goof I am, especially next time you want to stalk  me at fucking Dunn Brothers, and fuck up my oat milk latte, which is an extra ninety cents by the way, please remember that I’m a big dork,”

Suddenly there’s a commotion in the crowd and some guy is standing on his chair and Richie’s never wanted to die more,

“Did you say a guy?” He shouts.

It’s silent, before he nods slightly,

“Yes I did. I’m a big ol-“ he doesn’t even know what fucked up thing he’s going to say, when the crowd erupts into applause.

And he’s sure that some people left, or there’s comments, but the applause is all he needs. He is a slut for validation after all. Thank you love language quiz. Words of affirmation baby!

The rest of the set goes great and he’s still properly buzzed when he steps off stage. Steve is clapping him on the shoulder, even though he’s on the phone and then Richie’s rushed backstage and handed water and there’s. He squeezes the water bottle too tight and it explodes all over him. It’s freezing, even though he feels warm and before he’s thinking about it, he’s yanking off his shirts and suddenly someone’s handing him a towel and he hears a dog whistle. He’s about to tell Natalie to fuck off, when he sees who she’s standing by.

There. In the flesh, is Eddie Kaspbrak. He looks good, dammit. A maroon sweater and tight black jeans. His cheeks are flushed and he’s holding his black jacket in his arms.

“No one took his coat?” Richie yanks it out of his hands and throws it somewhere. “Where’s everybody else?”

He looks confused,

“What do you mean?”

“Impromptu Loser’s trip to my show. Is Bev pissed about the rent thing because I swear-“

Natalie sips at some cocktail awkwardly and Eddie swallows hard,

“Um, it’s just me.”

Richie halts. He sees someone off the scene - he knows these people’s names- he swears, it’s just dark. But he gestures for the booze again. Eddie came to see him. For his first show. Oh god. Eddie heard him go on about his jawline for Christ’s sake and now. He looks like a deer in headlights. The scotch is thrust into his hands and he takes three long pulls before doing anything.

The worst part is Eddie is just chilling. Kicking it, while Richie has this internal meltdown which he knows is showing on his face. He doesn’t know what to do so he all but thrusts the liquor at Eddie, grabs Natalie’s arm and storms off.

“What am I gonna do? Shit he’s here, he’s here.”

“You knew he was gonna hear the sketch anyway, why does it matter?”

“Because I’m drunk. I acted like a lovesick fool. My dad bod is exposed. What am I gonna do?! And be serious. There’s only room for one funny one in this relationship.”

She smiles,

“Good thing it’s me, my darling. Talk to him. He seems cool.”

“You talked to him?!”

“Uh yeah. He’s been back here since about half way through the set. Barged right back here. Lucky I recognized the name.”

He stares and she sighs,

“You’ve been saying his name in your sleep. Ever since the accident.”

“Oh god. You probably think I’m pathetic.”

“Not pathetic, in love.”

“In love? But I’m, we don’t know each other. We haven’t kept in touch in years.”

“Love doesn’t fade with age sweetie.”

“Oh stop being reasonable! I understand you just got a new gay best friend, but be logical.”

She snorts,

“Trust me, no one wants to go shopping with you. I am being logical. That man is head over heels for you. And you’re head over heels for him. Now do something about it before I kick your ass.”

“Your shoes are too expensive.”

“What am I gonna do? Talk about my feelings?”

She shakes her head quickly,

“Oh god no. Who knows what would come out. Just, ya know, go seduce him, with all of this.”

If it were anyone else he’d think they were kidding, but the have had sex dozens of times and so he knows she can’t be joking too much. His insecure ass isn’t that desperate so he keeps his mouth shut. She touches his shoulder,

“Go out there and kiss him. Just kiss him.”

He stares and she whacks his arm,

“And keep your mouth shut. No jokes.”

“What if he tries to slip in a little tongue?” He wags his eyebrows.

“You’re not nearly as charming as you think you are.”

“Eddie thinks so,” he says quickly, before he can stop himself.

Natalie grins,

“By the grace of god he does. Now go kiss him dammit!”

He strides out of the room, not paying any attention to if she’s following him, but he bets she is, as if she’d miss this. Eddie is looking flushed and cradling the scotch bottle like a pacifier and all Richie does is take it out of his hand and set it down quickly. Eddie stares. Eddie’s here. Eddie came here. To California. To see his set. He’d paid to see Richie. He remembers to ask Steve about a refund, vaguely of course, before he’s fitting a hand around Eddie’s jaw, Eddie’s beautiful jaw and ducking in to kiss him.

There’s no symphony or choir that starts singing but his heart does feel about three sizes too big like that Dr.Seuss book, and Eddie kisses him back so softly, as if he’s going to break. More likely that he’ll pull away, but Richie can’t imagine. Pulling away from this magical kiss. Eddie’s tongue licks tentatively at his lips and Richie opens his mouth immediately in a grin.

He hears a dog whistle and an “Atta boy!” And wow he hates his team so much. They’re getting fired, the whole lot of them.

Things must get a little heated because he hears the sharp clearing of a throat,

“I can get you out the back way,” says Steve, sheepishly.

Except Steve, Steve can stay.

Richie is being handed a clean, dry shirt from someone, he’d forgotten, that wouldn’t be a good look, and then he takes Eddie’s hand. Firmly. It’s a good hand.

“You ready to get out of here?”

“After you,” Eddie says, squeezing back.

“Why not after you? You’re the one with the ass that won’t quit.”

“You’re the one paying for this Lyft so you’re going first.”

“Hm, expensive date. Am I going to get into your pants later at least?”

Eddie scoffs,

“Do you ever stop?”

Richie halts,

“Actually no. Is that a deal breaker, because-“

Eddie shakes his head quickly,

“No. No. I love it. I love you.”

Richie’s head swirls,

“Um. I’m not ready.”

He knows he’d brought this up. His secret had started it, but, the last person he’d said I love you to was Sarah. And he most certainly was not in love with Sarah.

“It’s okay. I just don’t want there to be any confusion on how I feel. I love you Richie.”

Eddie squeezes his hand as a black car pulls up in front of them.

“Damn that was fast.”

“Oh Edward, bold of you to assume I don’t have my own car.”

“Don’t call me that! God, you really are famous.”

“A little bit,” he says in a singsong voice, opening the door for Eddie.

“Shut up dick.”

“Hey, your face will look good in paper print, I think.”

Richie slides in the car next to Eddie,

“Your face would look good-

“Where Eddie?” He dares, “where?”

“You know what, your... mom. It’s unfair, I haven’t worked on my insults in thirty years, you’re over here being a professional cornball.”

Richie snorts,

“Not my problem. Cause I can go all night baby.”

Eddie raises an eyebrow,

“Can you now?”

There’s a cough from the front seat,

“Sorry Carl. I’ll tell my friend to simmer down, there are innocents around.”

“You know I can hear you starting it Richie. Right?”

“Carl, you wound me. How can you think that I would have such a dirty mind?”

“Where are we going sir?”

He makes a puking noise,

“Sir.. gross. Just home.”

“Sounds good sir,” Carl says once more to be a dick.

“I like the sound of that,” Eddie teases, “Sir.”

“Oh hell no. First of all, fuck off. Second of all, you’d be referring to me as sir under entirely different circumstances.”

Eddie’s face flames,

“Natalie didn’t say you were this insane.”

“Natalie, Angel, light of my life, would never betray me like that. What did she tell you?”

Eddie mimes zipping his lips,

“Secrets, secrets.”

“I don’t think you’re meant to be friends with my ex.”

Eddie pales slightly at that and Richie wonders if he made it too weird.

“I mean, she’s my best friend too so,”

“No no, it’s fine, I just never thought of it like that. Oh god? That’s my competition? Teenie bopper soap star with a great rack?”

Richie stiffens at hearing Natalie being reduced to that, but he hears what Eddie is saying,

“There’s no competition Eds. Never been one.”

Eddie looks up at him and smiles softly. Richie leans in for a kiss. It gets a little heated and Richie tries to stretch out so Eddie can lay beside him, but Eddie kicks Carl’s chair and there’s a very judgmental  stare coming from the rear view mirror,

“Mr.Tozier, there’s a reason I don’t drive preteens anymore.”

“Fine, fine, can you speed up then?”

“I am happily going the five over the speed limit you usually request.”

“If I pay you extra can you make it ten?”

He hesitates like he wouldn’t do it for free, before grinning,

“3%?”

“Done.”

The car speeds a little faster and luckily Eddie’s short enough to crunch his legs up on the seat so that he can lay on Richie’s chest. He feels good. He feels real. He feels promised.

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - Public Sex

There were a lot to look through for this one so I’m bound to make mistakes. Let me know if I forgot a whole category of public sex or what fics I’m missing from this list.

** PDA (no smut) ** Outdoor/Tent/Car Sex ** With People Around Them ** Public Bathroom ** Other Public Sex

***** PDA (no smut) *****

nape of his neck he made his descent by boxesofflowers, Eeyoreneedsahug (232 words)

where is home? by retts (576 words) - Moving in, the Isak and Even way

Seriøst? by CiaraSky (716 words) - Isak and Even go Ice Skating.

can i borrow a kiss? by spoopydumpling (1.2k words) - The boys pregame at Isak and Even’s place, then head off to a party with a large amount of drinking and a whole lot of flirting.

We are by ReadingDreams07 (1.4k words) - The au where Isak starts to do more PDA because the first years wouldn’t stop looking at this boyfriend.

Let’s go home by nneazzz (1.5k words) - This is a sequel to Evak texting:) Light PDA. Some homophobia.

For science by nofeartina (1.9k words) - The smut in this is not in public. Prompt fill for: Isak getting all worked up from “neck stuff” at inappropriate times

(Not so) Public Displays of Affection by radiantarrow (2.3k words) - five times Isak was comfortable with PDA around his friends, and the one time he was comfortable with it in public

Push by nofeartina (2.9k words) - So, normally, Even tries to be supportive of Isak’s ban on PDA. But sometimes, like tonight, he just hates it. (With smut)

affection by alotofphandoms (3.3k words) - Isak notices something enticing Even starts doing, and Isak can’t help getting flustered every time.

***** Outdoor/Tent/Car Sex *****

ease away by Skamtrash (984 words) - Even turns Isak on while eating a banana. They fuck it out in the backyard.

Cotton Candy Pink by riyku (1.4k words) - It’s the kinda place where a seventeen year old boy in knee highs and a short schoolgirl skirt can belly up to the bar and order a beer for himself and another for his boyfriend, and the bartender won’t say a word. Dark alley sex.

Frisky by evaksskam (1.8k words) - “Officer, I know you’re frisking me and all, but what the fuck? Your hand is on my dick?” Isak asked, trying to keep calm. Car sex.

Pulls Me In Enough to Keep Me Guessing by plumclouds (2.2k words) - Even partakes in a traditional hunt. He doesn’t expect anything to come out of it, but the night has many surprises in store. They’re all named Isak.

Packing Heat by Laika_the_husband (2.3k words) - Even and Isak are lost on a road trip. There is an airsoft gun in the glove compartment. Isak really likes the way Even looks holding it. Car sex.

if you know you’re in love and he feel like the one by orphan_account (2.4k words) - A sequel. “Are we going to your place?” “Nah, my parents are home,” “So… the car? We’ll park somewhere?” Isak asks, smiling shyly.

Mouse Hunt by Laika_the_husband (2.4k words) - A fluffy smutty summery fun with Isakitty and his kitten daddy Even. Isak has arranged a surprise for Even, to explore felinity further. Forest sex.

Come For Me by cami_soul (2.6k words) - Isak and Even go camping, but I don’t really talk about the camping. lol Very light Dom/Sub action. Even pushing Isak’s boundaries, in a good way.

you the one that i’m feeling, you the one that i’m loving by orphan_account (3.1k words) - A sequel. “I’m horny,” Isak breathes out against his neck as he plants a wet kiss there. Even knows he must taste like sweat. “We need to go somewhere so you can fuck me.” They fuck outside.

I want everything with you by MeOnly (3.1k words) - Isak and Even goes out to the countryside to hike in the mountains and camp. Even will soon move to Stockholm to study at the University and how it will affect the two of them is still unclear. They need to talk … and maybe use that tent too.

The second time I followed you home by Tuii (3.5k words) - When they had left Oslo at the end of May to do a tour of the Scandinavia, there was no way he would have thought he would find this beautiful boy in Denmark. That he would fall in love and end up traveling with him instead of his own squad. Camping.

what I have is right here by arindwell (3.5k words) - Listen, it’s not like Even’s been pining away for Isak, stuck in the hot swelter of summertime Oslo. He’s been fine on his own, really. Outdoor sex plus bearded Isak.

in the backcountry by Jules1398 (3.7k words) - Isak hates camping, but his time at Nissen has come to a close and his friends wanted to do a big trip together, so he figures three days in Ytre Hvaler National Park can’t be that bad until he finds out they’re camping in the backcountry. Luckily he meets a dashing blond guy with space in his tent that’s near actual bathrooms.

Long Boi Season by Laika_the_husband (3.8k words) - humanoid. Long bois are in season and Isak is determined to catch himself one. He gets what he wished for, and more. Forest sex.

these are just a couple of my cravings by Treehouse (4.2k words) - A festival a couple of hours drive from Oslo, just the two of them. There’s always people around them, in kollektivet, at Even’s place and Even has longed for this - to have Isak to himself. Sex in a camper.

the thing you didn’t know you wanted by Treehouse (4.5k  words) - Isak feels his cheeks go red just from looking at the box. He reads the short description on the side. Male vibrating prostate massager. Wireless remote control, USB charger, seven stimulation patterns. Fuck. A little bit of balcony sex.

Take a deep breath, baby (let me in) by nofeartina (4.5k words) - Even only pauses for a brief second before he continues zipping the tent closed and says, “You or me?” Isak turns around all the way and he’s such a sight like this. On his knees, face tilted down, eyes half-lidded and seductive. Tent sex.

Burning One Hell of a Something by MacksDramaticShenanigans (5k words) - Even’s sharp inhale was audible, and suddenly it seemed as though all the air in the tent had been removed. The whole atmosphere felt electrically charged, and Isak could feel his entire body thrumming with anticipation like it was a livewire. Tent sex.

Sommernatt by Bewa (5.1k words) - Even grabs his hand and start walking, pulling Isak along. “You know how I don’t like not knowing what’s about to happen?” Isak says as they walk across the road and down to the river close by. “I know.” Even giggles. “That’s why it’s so much fun.” Swimming.

In the backseat by sherllycolmpels (5.3k words) - It takes Even a few moments to see what Isak is doing, but when he sees, he has a really hard time looking at the road in front of them.

Back to the Backseat by sherllycolmpels (2.7k words) - A sequel. The one where Isak and Even are doing it in the backseat of their car. Again. Plus bathroom sex in the beginning.

Summer by DickAnderton (5.8k words) - Isak and Even have been crushing on each other for a whole year when their paths finally cross at a hipster music festival during summer break and they spend the night together.

All of Me by MinilocIsland (5.9k words) - Luckily, Isak knows just how to catch Even when he falls. (Or, as in this case: when his attempt at taking Isak camping doesn’t go as planned).

(I know, I know) I make it hard to let go by colazitron (6.2k words) - Isak and Even go camping. Isak wants to look at the stars. Even wants to look at Isak. One thing leads to another.

(all its own work, no) vacation by colazitron (1.7k words) - A sequel. Isak and Even are feeling a little frisky after waking up on the morning of their overnigh camping trip.

live happily with sugar on by colazitron (9k words) - While Even tries to work up the courage to approach the cute boy on the tram, the cute boy approaches him. Berries are involved. And a garden.

Take Me As I Am by givemesumaurgravy (9.9k words) - the one in which Isak is the coach of Even’s daughter’s football team and Even likes Isak’s bum. One day there’s a parent football game and Isak, just maybe, starts hitting on Even and, just maybe, Even gives in. Roadhead.

RoadHead by Skamtrash: Chapter 1 - Its the beginning of summer and Even and Isak are on a roadtrip to Even’s cousins house to ring in the summer. Car sex   Chapter 2 - Even’s cousins are throwing a pool party later. Even cant stop touching Isak in the pool.    Chapter 5 - In the woods.  

Nowhere to go (now) by nofeartina (12k words) - This fic is part of the amazing series, Rearranged. It’ll be best to read the previous parts first. Things are good, it’s so fucking comfortable between them that Isak is just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Balcony sex at a party.

Trollbundet/Spellbound by Crazyheart (16k words) - A summer fling soulmate AU. Isak has graduated from Nissen and he’s attending Trolsk (Enchanting), an alternative Fair/music festival with his friends. When he meets a guy called Even, they bond. However, Even is reluctant about bonding. Is a summer fling all they will have?

Can you feel the Love tonight? by skambition (17k words) - When Even let his gaze scan the masses, he caught a pair of green eyes staring at him shamelessly. Even raised an eyebrow, before looking the guy up and down. Tent sex. DELETED :( 

Skamløs by Skamtrash (18k words) - Even is Isak’s professor and they have a thing going on. Car sex. DELETED :(  

Beneath the Milky Way by sweetfire (31k words) - Isak is looking forward to a trip into the Norwegian wilderness with his friends before they all start their post-Nissen lives, hoping to get in some relaxation and bonding time with them. Cue Even, their hot wilderness guide, who instantly turns Isak into a flustered, blushing mess.

An Affair by skamsnake (33k words) - ‘An Affair’-inspired AU, featuring a sweet and innocent substitute teacher and a hot and confident third year student in all the scenes we already know and love. Sex in the woods. DELETED :(  

***** With People Around Them *****

Not so boring movie after all by Tuii (623 words) - Isak’s mind easily wonders to sex. And without actually doing it on purpose, he notices that his hand is wondering up on Evens thigh, towards his croch. At the movie theater.

prompts and one shots by noeller: Chapter 3 - Isak blows Even while their friends sit right in front of them   Chapter 4 - 3 times their friends accidently find out way too much about their sex life   Chapter 5 - Their friends see the scratches on Even   Chapter 6 - Magnus walks in on them having sex  

The Dance Floor by Tuii (1k words) - The club is full of people and noise and lights but Even has eyes only for his own man, those long legs and that amazing ass and his long neck and beautiful lips. On the dance floor.

Bus Drabble by Laika_the_husband (821 words) - A tiny little thing where Isak plays with Even on a bus ride. Just some silly filth.

Magnus is Confused About Gay by lovetommo (1.1k words) - Magnus kinda spies on Isak and Even a little bit.

The Things You Do by Skamtrash (1.2k words) - Even gets Isak off during a meeting in the auditorium

Kinky Boys by Skamtrash (2.7k words) - Even has a exhibitionism kink, he likes getting frisky in public. On a road trip with the boys, the couple tries to fulfill Evens needs

Masters of Impatience by Victory4 (3.5k words) - Isak is being a bit of a brat to everyone. Even knows how to chill him out. All while they’re having a movie night with their friends.

we’re lost in the heat of the moment (and i’m moving in you) by empty_venom (6.3k words) - Thanks to Eskild, Isak had no choice but to wear a tiny, skimpy, black cheerleaders outfit with Daddy emblazoned across the front of the crop top to a party where he meets Even and ends up on his lap in a room full of people.

The Beach by Laika_the_husband (7.4k words) - The one where they get banned from the beach

Chapter 4 of Hand In Hand by unfancyandy (10k words) - Even gets handsy in a movie theater.  

Oslo 05:59 by unfancyandy (15k words) - Isak meets a young man one night during a gay orgy at an underground sex club in Oslo. After building a special connection, they meet outside the club where they realize not everything was as perfect as it seemed.

***** Public Bathroom *****

cherry popsicle by cammm (1.1k words) - Even sucks his popsicle like it’s a dick and Isak says something about it. And then it escalates.

maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea by evenplussisak (1.1k words) - Isak and Even have sex in the bathroom where they first met

The one where they dance real close by colazitron (1.3k words) - They’re definitely not the only ones on the dancefloor taking things a little Far, but they go to find the bathroom anyway.

Monday 12:46 by anaisanais (1.6k words) - Even sexts Isak during class and they decide to ditch classes.

bathroom visits by cammm (1.7k words) - Isak steals Even away at lunch to go have some fun in the bathroom.

You Get Me Fired Up by HazyCosmicJive (2.8k words) - Isak has a public bathroom kink. Isak fucks Even in a university bathroom

i guess we should get a room by orphan_account (2.8k words) - Isak and Even are horrible hosts and friends. Technically it’s not a public bathroom but their friends are right there in their apartment.

so you play it wild by birthmarks (orphan_account) (3.1k words) - Before, during, and after Isak and Even made out at school on that fateful Wednesday.

I’ll Come With My Boyfriend by glbertblythes (3.1k words) - isak is kind of in love with even – isak kind of asks even to be his pretend boyfriend to a wedding.

Peep Show by riyku (3.5k words) - This might be the kinkiest thing Isak’s ever done, the only kinky thing he’s ever done, but he’s committed to it by now, and screw it, he’s gonna give this guy something worth watching. Plus exhibitionism.

The Booth by Laika_the_husband (5.3k words) - Featuring genderplay, glory hole, and Magnus.

Orion’s Nebula by thekardemomme (5.6k words) - Even Bech Næsheim was enrolled in an astronomy class for one reason and one reason only: the cute ass boy he saw standing in the registration line. University bathroom.

When I See You, I Keep Getting Chills by plumclouds (8.8k words) - Isak is asked to be Even’s tutor by his teachers. It doesn’t go like anyone’s expecting it to.

Back to Back by unfancyandy (13k words) - 5 times Isak’s obsessed with Even’s back and 1 time it’s a little different. A little bit of bathroom sex.

we still fuck by evak1isak (13k words) - Isak and Even had broken up. Period. But they couldn’t keep their hands off each other.

For Your Little Trooper by colazitron, nofeartina (15k words) - It’s bad enough that he has to sit here with his hand around his dick, milking his knot, in the school toilets no less - but apparently now he has company. Or the one where they meet while knotting in the school toilets. Public masturbation.

All this and heaven too by champagneleftie, nofeartina (28k words) - The first time, it’s just a hookup, a quick blowjob in a club bathroom. The next time Isak pretends he’s never seen him before. But maybe that’s because they’re at church. And the pastor is Isak’s dad.

A Silky Nightmare by Fxckxxp (40k words) - This is an AU set in the summer of 1970 based on the coordinates in the season 3 Skam header, which leads to Kjærlighetskarusellen (the love carousel): a public urinal doubling as a secret meeting spot for gay men before homosexual acts were decriminalized in Norway.

Alphabet Aerobics by nofeartina : Chapter 3: Z - Bathroom at a party sex.  Chapter 13: U - University bathroom sex. 

(WIP) take me to the stars by iriswests (230k words) - last update Aug 2017. Isak thinks Even is pretentious and impractical. Even thinks Isak is arrogant and uptight. They’re not each other’s biggest fans, even if they do happen to have spectacular sex on a very, very drunken night. They have public sex somewhere in chapter 5.

***** Other Public Sex *****

Smutty Tumblr Prompts and Drabbles by isaksforelsket: Chapter 4 - Isak is really loud in bed  Chapter 7 - This one should be in the 'with people around’ category but it’s easier to put it here.   Chapter 11 - Vibrator in public  

Work by Tuii (1k words) - “Put your headphones on, sit and watch.” says the message from Isak and it’s followed with a link to a Youtube video.

But if you are, I am quite alright, hiding today by notcooljimmysteve (1.1k words) - They go to the beach.

you can still see my ankles by cammm (1.3k words) - Isak and Even go clothing shopping. Even hates it. His height makes shopping difficult but Isak is a good boyfriend. He tried his best to cheer Even up. Implied public sex. No smut.

Vibrator by evak1isak (2.1k words) - Even buys Isak a vibrator which he can control so that his boyfriend can have it on all day. Isak, though, didn’t expect his friends to find out. (They don’t actually have sex in public)

let’s go somewhere they might discover us (sometimes it’s better when it’s publicly) by orphan_account (2.3k words) - Even and Isak fuck in a classroom.

Psycho by sensualstalker (2.4k words) - Even goes looking for Isak after school only to find him doing a different kind of after school activity. Locker room, shower sex.

poolside convo by ohsusie (2.4k words) - "Isak,” he says, swimming closer until they’re right in front of each other, looking into each other’s eyes, and Isak’s probably trying to tell him to stop, they can’t lose this stupid bet, but Even can’t handle it anymore and wraps his arms around him, pulling him closer. “Fuck, baby. You drive me crazy.” Pool sex.

Take me Higher by HazyCosmicJive (3k words) - “Hey lets sneak off and fuck in the locker room”. “Wtf Even, no”

just a little bit out of my limit by theyellowcurtains (3k words) - Isak is pissed about where he got placed for work experience, that is until he meets his fine ass supervisor.

Fitnessboys. by Krumme (5.8k words) - Isak promised Eskild to go to the gym. Even is, of course, there. First meeting. Pining, eventual smut.

watch me fall at your feet (all to make you feel complete) by empty_venom (6.1k words) - They’ve been out Christmas shopping for almost two hours now, and Isak’s been bored since about thirty minutes in. And when Isak gets bored, Isak gets annoying. Changing room fun.

Overtime by Laika_the_husband (6.5k words) - Isak smiles as he steps inside and opens his messenger bag. He pulls out a black toiletry bag and when he sees how Even’s eyes are glued onto it he feels like purring. Yes. He has brought the mobile sex kit with him. He is prepared to use it. Office sex plus sex tape.

Winter Cabin by alijan (7.5k words) - The boys overhear Isak and Even at the cabin.

More than enough by nofeartina (7.7k words) - Sounds travel in Kollektivet. Which is a problem when you can’t keep your hands off each other and Linn and Eskild are eating breakfast in the kitchen next door. But then you’ll just have to (try to) be quiet…

Where the Lovelight Gleams by Sabeley (7.9k words) - the one where Even and Isak are stuck at different Christmas parties, but they’re determined to have sex anyway. Phone sex in a public place.

I’m Always Here by nofeartina (9.3k words) - “Did you know that Even is working this summer? At that pool at the Plaza?” Jonas says. Isak actually sits up in excitement at this. “Fuck yeah!” Lifeguard Even. Shower sex.

(WIP) Loud and clear by Bulle (9.7k words) - Isak is loud when it comes to what goes down in bed. It’s not just quiet moans and small whines. It’s loud moans, whines and he’s awfully verbal too.

The Lifeguard by evak1isak (11k words) - In which Isak and his friends spend some weeks at Eva’s cabin during the summer, and Isak happens to develop a crush on the local pool’s lifeguard.

All I Ever Wanted by MinilocIsland (14k words) - Isak is such a good friend. Probably the best there is. How else could he explain that he’s agreed to join Magnus to this place deep in the woods for six full days of silence, meditation, and utter boredom? One thing, he knows. There’s nothing exciting for him there. Right?

I call'em as I see'em…But Sometimes I Don’t See So Well by HazyCosmicJive (15k words) - Isak just wants to study, he doesn’t want a new roommate who walks around naked all the time and constantly tests his patience. Featuring gym locker room sex.

Blanket Fort Gospel by Sabeley (58k words) - Isak Valtersen met the love of his life when he was eleven years old. It was a truth he had long tried to deny, but it was the truth nevertheless. Church sex.

[i-the-hell-is-bvcky]

i-the-hell-is-bvcky’s Marvel Kinkvember 2018

Kink 5: Sadism/Masochism (BDSM)

Pairing: Sub! Natasha Romanoff x Dom! Reader

Word Count: 2,140 (yikes)

Warnings: Bondage, oral sex, forced orgasms (from vibrator), sex toys, dirty talk, dom/sub, masturbation (reader), aftercare and cuddles

A/N: In case y’all didn’t know, I’m bi so this is what happens when I actually get the courage about writing about women sexually (internalized homophobia is a bitch). I also know it may not be for everyone so if it’s not for you but you know a gal who would appreciate it, please pass this along!

Obviously, this may be very triggering for some so please don’t read it if this is you.

**My work is not to be redistributed on any other site without my written consent**

She wanted red rope this time, she loves the way the color contrasts her skin. You weren’t sure when Natasha first asked you about adding bondage to your sex life. You were wary at the whole idea of tying her up, not wanting to inflict harm on her or pushing her to a dark place that could unleash past traumas. The two of you had a lengthy discussion about it; why she wanted to do it and how it would help her.

“I’ll let you sleep on it,” Natasha said that day and she kissed you before getting ready for bed. You spent most of the night looking up the history and watching videos, trying to get a sense of it all. Three days later, you told her it was on the table and that the two of you would take baby steps into the world of BDSM. It started off light, typical dominant/submissive behavior in bed, then it went to the use of sex toys and gadgets like remote control vibrating panties, ball gags and plugs.

You secretly practiced your knots with rope. You had to admit, seeing pictures and videos of women tied up so intricately was kind of hot and it got you excited for the next step. That’s how you’ve arrived here, with Nat naked and tied up with her face down in the plush pillows.

The air is electric; Natasha moans softly when the rope rubs against her clit as she shifts. You rub her soft cheeks in boths hands, marveling at the feel of her supple arse. She glows in the soft candle light, her hair now dirty blonde and draped around her like a veil.

“You’re so beautiful like this, Natalia. Are you going to be good for me?” Nat sucks in a deep breath before answering.

“Yes, Ma’am. I’ll do anything you say, I’ll be good.” You love this side of Natasha. She’s so pliant and sweet, not that she usually isn’t sweet but there’s always a wall up. A wall that you and many of her closest confidants have tried to break through with no success. You feel honored to see her like this—free of stress, judgement and self-hate.

“Very good. What’s your safe word?” You reach for the body wand that you plugged in earlier and set aside before kneeling at the foot of the bed, your eyes level with her wet cunt. You start to salivate at the sight of it, desperate to get a taste. You know in the end, the reward of eating her out will be better if you wait.

“Slipper,” she says.

“And what will you do if you can’t speak?” You turn on the vibrator, the soft buzzing loud in the quiet room.

“Knock on the headboard five times.” Her voice shakes, she’s antsy and ready for her pleasure but she’s holding back. You smile to yourself and plant a soft kiss behind each thigh.

“Perfect. I’m going to touch you now and make you come from this vibrator.” You drag it up and down between her legs and she jerks forward in surprise. The power on the thing is astonishing. “You can only come from this until I think you’re ready for my mouth. Is that okay with you, angel?” Natasha huffs and stills herself.

“Yes Ma’am.”

———————

Natasha has already came five times from the vibrator, each one stronger than the last. You’ve listened for her safe word and for her to tap out but she hasn’t so you push on. Now you’ve pulled up a chair and tied the vibrator to her leg so you can sit back and enjoy the view. You told yourself that tonight wasn’t about you, and it still isn’t, but that doesn’t mean you can’t touch yourself. You’ve slipped out of your clothes and into that lingerie you know she loves. Not that you need it for this but it’s a nice touch.

———————

“Oh god,” Natasha groans. Her body shakes as she comes for a sixth time, her cries are loud and desperate and it takes a lot of self discipline not to orgasm yourself. You let her ride it out, her body still tense as the vibrator continues. A pang of guilt runs through you and, if you’re being honest, pure lust as you watch her succumb to another orgasm. You sit up fast and untie the the vibrator. The mushroom shaped head is covered in her slick, even dripping down the neck of it. You put it aside and kiss the back of her thighs, making sure to ignore her swollen cunt.

“Aw, did my baby come too hard?” You coo while staring at her sex. She’s tantalizingly wet and all you want to do is bury your face between legs. You gently slip a finger in her hole, the wetness making it easy to do so. Nat is so wet, she drips in your palm. “I think you’ve had enough but I want to get a little taste. Would you like that?” Nat pushes back against your hand, your finger curling inside her and she moans deeply.

“Fuck yes,” she says. You laugh outwardly and waste no time doing so. It’s like she tastes better every time you go down on her. You lick from her clit up to her hole, her scent and taste overwhelming your senses. Falling into a rhythm of sucking and licking her plump pussy, Natasha comes again. You hold her by her hips as her body shakes, her words incoherent and muffled by the pillows.

———————

Even more than the sex, aftercare has to be your favorite part of the night. After untying her, you kiss the indents of where the ropes were, muttering sweet nothings as you do this. She’s a blissed out mess, her face glowing and pink. Nat makes sure to she loves the lingerie you chose and she wishes that she had enough energy to reciprocate the pleasure.

“It’s okay, tonight was about you.”

You run a bath for the both of you; lavender a favorite scent of hers. When the bath is ready, you go back to the bedroom and lead a very sleepy Natasha to the bath. The two of you stay in there until the water becomes lukewarm. You both dry off and you you apply a soothing moisturizer to her skin, much to her appreciation. After putting on pajamas, you cuddle her in bed with some cheesy rom com on Netflix.

“That,” Nat whisper, “was amazing. Thank you.” You kiss her forehead and pull her closer.

“You’re welcome, babe. You did so well, I’m proud of you.” Nat smiles and nuzzles into your neck.

“Next time, it’s your turn,” she says and you have to laugh.

“Oh no babe, I’d be a terrible submissive.” Natasha shifts to look up at you, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

“We’ll see about that.”

———————

Tags: @a-unique-girls-heaven @coal000 @getinmelanin011 @suz-123 @thewinterstolemyheart

[sapphicscholar]

Hey, can you write a fic where Eliza Wilke realizes years later that she's gay and she tracks Maggie down to apologize cause she finally realizes just how much she hurt her and her life?

Hey, I just posted this chapter to AO3 here

A/N: Slightly nsfw at the beginning, then angst, CW for mentions of past homophobia and internalized homophobia

Also, some of this is written from Eliza’s point of view. I know she doesn’t always get the most sympathetic portrayal in fanfic, but I think hers (at least as it’s prompted here) is also a story worth telling. I think—and maybe I’m projecting—a lot of us have been Eliza, even if the consequences of our actions haven’t been nearly so dire. And maybe it’s just me who sent apology letters like this that were far too many years overdue, but I suspect that there’s something here that just might resonate for others too.

Chapter Text:

Maggie squinted down at her screen, pulling up the same notification that had been blinking up at her all day, constantly drawing her attention back to her phone, to her computer, to the memory of it. She’d gotten very little work done, pulled into focus only for a car chase that was over much too soon.

“Whatcha looking at?” Alex asked, leaning over and wrapping her arms around Maggie from behind. She kissed her cheek and brought her hands up to Maggie’s shoulders. “You feel tense.”

“I’m sure you could help with that,” Maggie flirted, closing her laptop and standing up from the desk. “Why don’t we head into the bedroom and find some way to relax together…”

“Mm, you know I’ll still want to know what happened today to make you this stressed, right?” Alex murmured, even as she dropped her lips to Maggie’s neck, kissing and sucking at the sensitive skin there. She smiled as she felt Maggie shudder, felt her breath catch as she let out a small gasp when Alex’s teeth found her pulse point.

“But bed now?” Maggie managed, unwilling to deal with this conversation at the moment and very much in need of a distraction to drive it from her thoughts.

“I suppose…” Alex trailed off, a teasing smile playing at her lips. With a bend of her knees and a swift movement, Alex scooped Maggie up into her arms and carried her over to the bedroom. Maggie’s squeak of surprise quickly morphed into a needy whimper as Alex slid a warm hand up Maggie’s shirt and flexed her abs, urging Maggie to grind against her. Rather than taking Maggie straight to the bed, Alex turned and brought them over to the wall, pushing Maggie up against it and groaning as Maggie hooked her legs around Alex’s waist, drawing her closer as she claimed her lips in a searing kiss that left them both gasping for air.

Feeling Maggie shifting in her arms, desperately trying to find friction, and hearing the steady stream of needy whimpers just barely stifled when she dragged her teeth across Maggie’s lower lip, Alex pulled back. Before she could ask what Maggie wanted, the other woman was gasping out an order: “Bed. Now.”

With a look of pure want, Alex pivoted and crossed the room in two long strides, tossing Maggie down into the pillows and quickly joining her, bracketing her with arms as she leaned over and flicked her tongue across Maggie’s lower lip, begging for entrance.

Eventually Alex grew impatient and tugged at Maggie’s jeans. “Off?”

Maggie nodded, helping to expedite the process by shimmying them over her hips and down her legs, biting her lip as Alex cast a hungry gaze down at her. Alex hooked her fingers beneath the waistband of Maggie’s boyshorts and slipped them off and down her legs. She dropped to her stomach and trailed teasing kisses and gentle bites up and down Maggie’s inner thighs until Maggie’s fingers tangled in her hair and urged her toward her dripping center.

Deciding there had already been enough teasing, Alex dipped her head down and flicked her tongue between Maggie’s folds, groaning at just how wet she already was. “You taste so good,” she murmured.

Maggie’s grip tightened in Alex’s hair at her words. It had taken a while to get Alex comfortable with really speaking up in bed, but god, when she did…

Maggie let her head drop to the pillow and her eyes flutter closed as Alex worked her up, pushing her higher and higher—but with her eyes closed, all she could picture was the blinking red notifications, the reminders of a past that apparently refused to stay in the past. Shaking her head, she tried to focus in on the moment, to be here with Alex, her very sexy girlfriend who was doing amazing things with her tongue that were apparently not going to have any effect until she dealt with her stress. With a loud sigh, Maggie dragged herself up onto her elbows. “Why do you think Eliza Wilkie sent me a message request on Facebook?”

Alex pulled back, her mouth sticky and an eyebrow arched. “I’m going to assume sex is over?”

“Sorry! I just…I don’t think anything is going to work until I know.”

“Well…did you open the message?”

Maggie shook her head.

“Do you think maybe you should try accepting it to see?”

“Just—I mean, why? Why, after more than 15 years does she suddenly care?”

“Do you really think she didn’t care all those years?” Alex asked, pulling herself up the bed to settle in next to Maggie.

“She’s the reason—the reason for, you know,” Maggie trailed off, finally giving up with a shrug of her shoulders. She had never been one to dwell on all the ways that things could have turned out differently—it wouldn’t change anything; it could only ever upset her—but Eliza’s message had sent her spiraling back into her own past, to all those what ifs she’d tried to suppress for so long now.

“But does she know? Did she know? I’m not defending her—god knows I’d love a chance to go back to Blue Springs and ruin the lives of everyone who made yours a living hell. But I can’t help but think…I don’t know, what would it mean if I reached out to Vicky after all these years? It’s not the same! Not at all. We hurt each other, but not in that same immediate kind of way. But I just, I guess that I’d hope that even after all these years, she’d at least listen to what I had to say, even if she didn’t want to forgive me or try to go back to what we had or anything like that.”

“I—I want to know. I want—I don’t know exactly what I want. I want her to be sorry. I want her to realize that even if she didn’t mean for my parents to find out, for the whole fucking town to find out, that’s what happened. And I had to go through it all alone. She didn’t have to say yes; she didn’t have to like me back; but it would’ve been nice if she—if she didn’t just leave me,” Maggie finished, her voice cracking as she rubbed roughly at her eyes.

“Oh, Maggie, I know,” Alex whispered, wrapping her arms around Maggie and holding her close. “And you don’t have to open her message. You don’t have to respond. But I think, well, if tonight was any indication, I think you need to figure out what you want to do about it, even if it means deleting it.”

“You mean you don’t want to talk about it during sex again?” Maggie joked, trying for lighthearted.

“You know, it wasn’t my favorite form of dirty talk.”

An almost full carton of vegan ice cream and a glass of wine later, Maggie sat in bed with her laptop, Facebook open, mouse hovering above the message icon. She knew Alex was right; she wouldn’t rest until she’d made up her mind about what she was going to do with Eliza’s message. And deep down she knew that if she deleted it, she’d always wonder, always want to know if maybe something had changed over the years, if maybe some part of her felt guilty for the way she’d treated Maggie, the girl who was supposed to be her best friend, all those years ago.

With one swift motion, Maggie clicked and squeezed her eyes shut, finally forcing them to open as she let out a shuddering exhale.

Hey Mags (or maybe it should be Maggie? I probably don’t deserve to call you Mags anymore…),

This message is so, so many years overdue. I didn’t—I tried. I started this message a lot. I tried it as a letter a few times, but I didn’t know where to send it. So I thought about Facebook. Sorry, these sound like excuses. There aren’t any excuses. None that make up for what happened, for how I let you disappear from my life without putting up a fight. I guess I should start with the two words I’ve wanted to say to you for the past 15 or so years: I’m sorry. They don’t erase anything that happened, I know, but I just…they’re true.

I don’t know that you want to relive any of what happened, so maybe skip this part…I don’t know. If you don’t want to read it, maybe just skip to the bottom?

I got your card, and it was sweet, but I was scared. I didn’t know how to feel about it, and at 14 everything that you don’t understand just feels like the biggest deal, like…like everything could come crashing down around you at any point in time. And so I did what I always did—I went to my big sister. She was cool, you know, at least that’s what I thought. She was 18 and knew about things like boys and makeup and didn’t rat us out that time she found us with dad’s cigarettes. And I figured if anyone would know about these things, it was her.

But I guess…well, she wasn’t okay or cool or chill when it came to gay people, and she took the card straight to my parents—never told me what she was doing. And then they called your parents and came down to the basement and told me I was never seeing you again. And they were, god, I just—I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you. Because my dad thought I was perfectly innocent and even then I got yelled at for hours, sent to a priest and taken to extra services down at St. Mary’s. And you—well, you disappeared.

Eventually word spread about what had happened. Part of me didn’t believe it. I knew that our parents were angry, but I never really thought—well, I never thought it would be like that. I thought they’d get over it. That you’d show up to school a week or two later like that time you were gone for almost a week after your dad caught you sneaking out of the garage with his whiskey. So I didn’t try to call. And then weeks stretched into months, and still you weren’t there. But at that point…well, I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’d forced myself to get over it. I heard what everyone was saying about you—the kids, the parents. The few people that tried to say you were just a kid and didn’t know better—god, the town was ready to tar and feather them too. And I didn’t think I was strong enough. You’d been forced to be strong enough, but you were always the brave one out of the two of us. I just���I sat back and acted like you hadn’t been my best friend, like I hadn’t loved you more than anyone else in that bumblefuck town.

My dad threw out all of our pictures and stuff, but I kept that bucket list we made in the back of my copybook huddled together during Mrs. Sanders’ English class. It had all the places we wanted to go—the things we wanted to see. I saw on Facebook that you got out and ended up in California. It always was the first place on your half of the list. Did you drive there and eat Red Vines and blast Destiny’s Child the whole way there like you’d planned? I hope you did. You deserve it—you deserve to accomplish every dream that seemed like a lifetime away on that list.

Anyway, I’m going to be in California just half an hour or so away from National City for a conference this week, and I thought—I don’t know, it’s probably stupid. But I’d like to see you, Mags. I don’t have a right to ask or to think that you might say yes, but it’d be really nice to apologize in person, to see the amazing woman you grew up to become even if…even though I wasn’t the best friend you thought I could be for you.

I’m on Facebook or you can call me at 402-767-1349. I hope you’re doing well, Maggie.

Eliza

—

Alex found Maggie in the bedroom tears streaking down her cheeks as she read and reread the message. “Do you need anything?”

Sniffling, Maggie shook her head, looking up at Alex through watery eyes. “No, no, you’re good.” With a shaky breath, Maggie shut her laptop and gently placed it on the bedside table. “If it’s okay with you, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Of course. Anything you need.”

Maggie nodded and held up the covers for Alex to join her, dropping her head to Alex’s shoulder as she curled into her side, letting herself be held and comforted like she could have used all those years ago.

—

Eliza tapped her foot nervously against the bricks, pressing her back into the wrought iron chair and letting the cool firmness, the slight twinge of discomfort, ground her. She checked her phone again, checking that it was still early, that she hadn’t gotten any messages. It was still just the single one: “Coffee. 3pm on Saturday at Noonan’s?” She’d quickly agreed, but the only confirmation she got in return was the small checkmark indicating her message had been read. She wondered if Maggie would show up. She certainly wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t. She hadn’t really expected a response. All the times she’d ever drafted something before, she’d deleted them, too scared of the indictment she deserved, too nervous that somehow she’d end up fucking up Maggie’s life yet again.

As she looked down at her phone once again, she saw a pair of boots step in front of her, followed by the sound of a throat being cleared. She snapped her head up, finding Maggie Sawyer—her best friend, if a little taller and with a much better fashion sense—standing in front of her. “Maggie! Um, hey.”

“Hey,” Maggie greeted with a small wave, stepping back awkwardly as Eliza rose to her feet.

“I, um, I got you coffee—or well, I got you your usual. I don’t know if it’s your usual anymore. I just, um, I know it used to be your favorite. But I guess, I mean, people change. I don’t know. Here,” she finally said, thrusting the cup to Maggie.

Maggie glanced down at the sleeve, finding the markings for a vanilla soy chai tea latte. “Thanks.”

“Is it, um, is it okay? I can get you something else?”

“It’s good.” She sipped at it as if to demonstrate that she was okay with it.

“Okay, cool,” Eliza nodded, drumming her fingers against the side of her leg before grabbing the other cup on the table and busying herself with picking at the sleeve.

“Do you want to walk?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, sure.”

Eliza followed as Maggie led them down a few blocks until they got to a park with a small path that wound around the perimeter. As they fell into step with one another—Eliza tried not to dwell on how they used to spend days down by the track trying to match each other perfectly or be the exact opposite; it was how they always won the three-legged races—Eliza spoke up. I guess, well, maybe not, but, um, you saw my Facebook message?”

“I did,” Maggie confirmed, her gaze trained straight ahead.

“Right, well, I just wanted to say—I wanted to say how sorry I am. I didn’t mean for any of it to happen, but I know, I know it’s my fault. We were best friends; I should have asked you.”

“You said it yourself; you were confused.” Maggie shrugged her shoulders, biting at her lip as she tried to look nonchalant.

“Yeah—I was. But I never meant—I didn’t mean for it to end up like that. But that’s not an excuse.” When Maggie didn’t say anything, Eliza forced herself to keep talking. “I should have tried harder to find you after.”

“Would’ve been pretty hard to find me—wasn’t exactly down the street anymore.”

Eliza winced. “I know, I know. I biked past your house a few times—after, you know. Your light was never on.”

Maggie nodded, gritting her teeth as she tried not to let her emotions get the best of her.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that alone, Maggie. I’m so sorry I wasn’t the friend you needed, the friend you thought you had.”

“Thank you,” Maggie finally managed.

With those two words, Eliza let herself break just a little. And when Maggie pulled up short, pulling her into a hug that was certainly nothing like the bone-crushing ones they’d once shared but was more than she’d ever imagined she would have again, she felt a sob heave its way through her chest, and when she felt warm, wet drops on her shoulder, felt the shudder that racked Maggie’s small frame, she pulled her closer, willing the embrace to somehow make up for years of lost time.

“On your left!” came the cry of an older woman on a bright blue bicycle—her basket filled with groceries and a small bouquet of wildflowers.

With a watery chuckle, Maggie motioned to the bench a few feet up the path. “Maybe we should sit?”

Once they had settled in on the bench, Eliza began, “So,” just as Maggie asked, “Why—?”

“Sorry, you go,” Eliza gestured.

“I was just going to ask how the conference was going.”

“Oh, um, yeah…it’s okay,” Eliza answered with a small chuckle. “It’s not the most fun I’ve ever had in my life, but it’s a beautiful state.”

“Yeah, I won’t complain.”

“Have you been here long?”

“No, I was in Gotham for a while until I made it out here about two years ago.”

“Following the superheroes?” Eliza teased, hoping it was okay to do so.

“Something like that.”

“Have you met the Girl of Steel?”

Maggie laughed, thinking of how Kara had spent the night at their apartment, lounging around in a novelty Supergirl snuggie Winn had gotten her for the DEO’s holiday Pollyanna while shoving inhuman amounts of pizza into her mouth. “I have—work and all.”

“That’s so cool,” Eliza gushed. “Now, I know that meeting Superman was on your bucket list, but does this count?”

“How do you have such a good memory of that list?” Maggie asked. Sure, she remembered a fair amount about freshman year of high school, but she thought she had a pretty good reason for it.

Eliza blushed a faint pink as she reached into her bag and dug out her wallet. Maggie looked on quizzically as she dug through and pulled out a graying, square. Eliza deftly unfolded it, carefully smoothing out the creases as she handed it over.

“You kept this? After all those years?”

“I’d been a shitty enough friend to abandon you once. I couldn’t do it twice.” Eliza chewed on the inside of her cheek as she looked for a reaction, wondering if she’d gone too far. But then Maggie’s gaze dropped back to the paper as she skimmed the list, her mouth finally breaking into a smile that lit up her features.

“So, did you ever get to see Britney Spears in concert?” Maggie asked, barely covering the laugh in her voice.

“Tragically I did not.”

“Shame…I did make my roadtrip to California, so I’m winning 1-0 now.”

“But the important part is obviously the snack list. Did you get your Red Vines?”

“Yep, and a whole tub of Oreos—all the surprisingly vegan snack staples.” She shook her head as she made her way further down the list. “Now, did you ever make it out to Broadway?”

“That I did, thank you very much.”

“Important follow up: did you act on Broadway?”

“That dream was abandoned. Alas, I ended up a mere high school teacher, though I supervise the drama club, so it’s basically the same thing.”

“Basically.”

Eliza let out a snort of amusement. “Now what about you? Did you play professional women’s soccer?”

“I slept with a professional women’s soccer forward. Does that count?”

“I mean, this list was all about our biggest dreams. I can only imagine that idea might have been a recurrent dream…or at least a fantasy,” Eliza teased, watching as the last layer of defensiveness in Maggie’s posture seemed to fall away.

“It was pretty great,” Maggie agreed. “Your turn. Did you ever…let’s see… Oh! Did you marry Justin Timberlake and spend your honeymoon in the Bahamas?”

With a dramatic sigh, Eliza shook her head. “No, JT and I just couldn’t make it work. Though I did spend my honeymoon down in Turks and Caicos, so I think maybe I get some points.”

“Well congratulations on the wedding! Who is the lucky guy? Anyone from back home?”

Eliza swallowed harshly, shaking her head. “No, uh, definitely not from back home.”

“Eh, you could do better than any of those jackasses anyway.”

“Yeah, um, I think I did.”

“So meet in college?”

“Yeah, senior year. She was one of the grad students in the department.”

“Wait, what?” Maggie asked.

“Her name is Gabriella.”

“You’re gay?”

“Funny how that worked out, huh?” Eliza tried for light, though her voice was strained as she waited for some reaction—anger, perhaps, or disgust with how long she’d spent denying it, spent playing straight, being accepted and getting to stay in Blue Springs with a family that loved her and friends that didn’t look at her with revulsion and fear.

“Wait—what? Why didn’t you open with that?” Maggie asked with a slightly incredulous bark of a laugh.

“I didn’t want you to think you had to forgive me or talk to me just because I ended up being gay too. I didn’t—I didn’t necessarily deserve that.”

“I,” Maggie paused, letting Eliza’s point sink in, “I appreciate that.”

“Yeah.” Eliza shrugged, waiting for Maggie to make the next move.

“So when’d you end up coming out?”

“Uh, senior year of college. It, um, took me a little bit to, uh, admit to certain things.”

“Hey, everyone comes out in their own time in their own way. There’s no shame in that. Not exactly like a lot of people make it feel particularly safe.”

“Yeah…I don’t know. I was taking a creative writing class. Gabriella was actually the TA, though she was only two years older. We had some prompt about a memory of a person who’d meant something to us, and I, well, I wrote about you. Got an A,” she added with a chuckle. “But, uh, during office hours—and god, I should have known I was gay when I was always the first in line for Gabriella’s office hours instead of wanting to meet with the actual professor who was assigning the grades—but she said something. She asked me if it was a memory of a first love.” She heard the catch in Maggie’s breathing but ignored it, looking down at her now empty coffee cup and picking at the lid. “I, well, I kind of panicked and mumbled something about needing to get to work. It wasn’t totally a lie… Anyway, I spent a couple of weeks avoiding her, but I couldn’t help thinking—maybe other people didn’t think about their friends the way I did. Maybe it wasn’t normal to want to hold your best friend’s hand and snuggle with her and spend all of your time together. Maybe my appreciation for beautiful women wasn’t just wanting to look like them or have their outfit or hair or whatever. I walked back and forth past the LGBTQ Center so many times, just trying to gather my courage to go in. Well, one day Gabriella was in there and happened to see me. So she came out and asked if maybe I wanted to get coffee with her—just to talk. She said she thought I could use a friend right now.”

“I’m glad you had someone.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t.”

“It’s—it’s in the past. It doesn’t do much good to dwell on things we can’t change.”

“Right, well, we got coffee, and I ended up blurting out that I thought she was really pretty and asked if that was normal.” Maggie snorted and tried to cover it up, only to find Eliza laughing right along with her. “No, you’re right. It was humiliating. She sort of sat me down and told me she could be there for me as a friend, but only as a friend—TA and all. Anyway, eventually I came out. Actually came out in my final writing piece for the semester.”

“Another A?”

“But of course,” Eliza joked. “So, a few months later—right around spring break time—I ran into her at the LGBTQ Center again. And she asked if I wanted to grab coffee. And, well, coffee one day turned into drinks the next, turned into dinner, turned into spending whole days curled up reading together while everyone else went home for break. And eventually I think I managed to convince her that it was worth a shot and that since she wasn’t my TA, she should have no ethical qualms about it.”

“That’s awesome, I’m so happy you found someone like her.”

“Yeah, she’s pretty amazing,” Eliza agreed, a dreamy expression on her face. “What about you? Still sleeping with all the professional athletes?”

“No, no,” Maggie shook her head. “I’ve settled down—engaged, actually.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah. She’s—god, she’s just incredible. She’s smart and beautiful and passionate and a total badass.”

“Well it sounds like you met your match, Ms. Sawyer.”

“Aww, now you sound like Mrs. Sanders.”

“Did I not mention that I teach high school English these days?”

“Oh god, you’ve become her!” Maggie shrieked, teasingly pushing at Eliza’s shoulder.

“Whatever, she was cute.”

“In retrospect…yeah, she kinda was,” Maggie agreed with a chuckle. “So, still go back to Blue Springs pretty regularly?”

“Oh, uh, not really. My parents got divorced, and my mom moved out to Michigan, so I mainly just visit her.”

“Don’t spend much time with your dad?”

“Ah, yeah, no. As it turns out, his reaction to everything was pretty indicative of just how he felt… We haven’t talked since graduation when he met Gabriella.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“No, no, don’t worry. I mean, I still see my mom, and Gabriella’s family is amazing.”

“Yeah, Alex and I have our own little makeshift family here too—they’re a bit on the weird side but—”

“You’re a bit on the weird side,” Eliza interjected, shooting Maggie a knowing look.

“Yes, well, if you’d let me finish, I was going to say, but I wouldn’t have them any other way.”

[mysticmysterywrites-blog]

Prompt #4

Arranged marriage anyone? For this setting, I'm thinking of a magic intensive celtic-esc society. My character has the whole part wolf thing going on, and I'm hoping for your character to maybe also have more animalistic features? But I would also accept shit like elves and teiflings in a heart beat. (Ya girl is SUCH a slut for them elves and teiflings my dude you have no idea) Retcon: Got Lots of elves. Still might take one, but am looking for different species overall now.

Tbh? He's giving you character the out, but I'd like to focus on not only character exploration but.. oh, you know. Let them fuck, it's their wedding night. 18+ tho for that reason.

If you want to just reply on connect, that's fine. If you want to ask more about the world building, or offer some of your own.. I don't have much to give ATM but I'm good at creating things on the quick and breezy. Any gender accepted, smth smth don't need no fantasy homophobia in my roleplay.  

Anyway my characters name is Oke, he's about 5'11, with distinct wolf features like ears and a tail, and the teeth. Other things that are described in comic. Darker skin, with a bit of scarring, but a warm face and friendly smile. Hoping for this to eventually go into the whole "fish out of water exploring each other's cultures" shit but you know Slams foot on table // hit me with whatever

UPDATE Sat down and wrote out the world building just ask for it YEET

He'd had a partner, once.

He was a beautiful man. A warrior, one that held his head high and smiled wide enough that he saw stars in his teeth. His hair was red enough that he swore he was running his hands through a sea of fire and sunlight, and his touch warm enough to He'd never been much the warrior type, himself. He'd found solace in craft and studies, and he couldn't help but feel his mother held relief in that fact. But he would still sit and carefully paint his lovers body with symbols of protection and power before every battle he'd wander into, reassured by his gentle smiles and soft touches that- yes, of course he'd return.

It'd been a lie, of course. He'd died pridefully in battle, and his mother had told him for that they should celebrate. He hears the way her tone falters, how close she is to tears. She'd loved him like one of her own, and they'd both been so, so young then. He places a smile on his face and raises a glass high, and fondly remembers his lover for what he was. A powerful warrior, amazing personality.

Still, when night hits and he's alone, he can't help but cry at the fate his God's have handed him. How selfish is that?

~~

He'd been considering traveling, when his mother tells him-

"The clan we've been at odds with is willing to make a deal," She tells him, and her tone is stiff, "We've both lost warriors, good people to this fighting. And their former leader died. "Don't feel pressured to do anything, but they want you to marry them," it made sense. Many of his kin in the village and pack showed their blood. Large teeth on a chiseled face, sharp claws on stiff fingers. The men and woman of his pack were terrifying, and it was a carefully crafted image that had taken generations to make.

They would eat this person alive. He at least looked like he wouldn't. Sounded like he wouldn't, if they gave him a rundown on what he did. Son of their leader, sure. But he'd never once touched a battlefield in his life. A battle-axe felt foreign on his hands, blood tasted like metal on his tongue. He was sure that he was the least intimidating option they had.

"What do you know about the person they're sending us?" He asks, not... outright saying no, at least.

"Not much," She admits, smile on her face falling somewhat, "We told them we'd take anyone- be it male or female. I wouldn't force you to wed with anyone too.. old, but other then that we really don't know too much about them." "Of course, If you're not comfortable with it..." She trails off, as though considering it, "We could ask Myr-"

"Let me think about it," He cuts her off before she gets too far. He's sure it would make more sense to wed them to their strongest warrior. But she was a bit.. brutal sometimes, and already had someone she'd wanted to wed. He was sure she would have accepted the offer- Most would without hesitation if it meant stalling their bloodbath. But he needed time to get over the aching in his heart.

~~

He marries them.

~~

"You're sure you want to do this?"

He's not. But he's not going to let that show to his mother, who despite her nerves, looks so proud of him as she paints up his arm. He'd worn most of these symbols only once before, and seeing them on his skin again felt like a distant and uncertain memory. But they were symbols of love, and he knew they should fill him with pride as well.

"It wasn't like I was going to go out of my way to find another partner on my own," He admits to her, as he reaches up to mess with the jewelry in his hair with his free arm.

Her look of pride melts to one of heart ache, and lingers long enough that he's sure she knows that. But nothing more is said, and they spend the rest of the evening in a steady, understanding silence.

~~

The elixir was easy to make, but disgusting to drink. Like sludge down the back of his throat. They've added what they can to make the transition easier, but it's not the taste that gets to him. It's the texture, something their both made to drink from in careful sips. Their hands are tied together, and as he'd looked at them he'd felt something of an ounce of regret. Would they have wed, if he hadn't accepted their offer?

But the night grew thick, and a storm came in. A blessing from the gods, his mother had said. Rains brought new life, and the thunder rolled with approval of their wed. He's not sure if he entirely buys it, but even he admits that something in the air feels.. right, if not foreign to him.

But as the festivities worn down.. And really, of all the things they knew how to do, throw a party was certainly one of them. The sound of drums still rang in his ear, and his feet were numb from the length he'd been standing on them- They were brought back to a private tent. Eventually, they'd either move to their lands, or into his families home. Well. Mothers home, he supposed. Her partner had long since past, parents withering away with time. It was something he worried about. What would she do if he left her?? He was sure she could find someone else to live with, especially as they entered a supposed time of peace. However..

He supposed that wasn't something to worry about for now. For now, the tent they're given is practically a home in itself. Somewhere private, somewhere the two of them could live for the next thirty days. It's just within reach of their people where, if something were to happen, they could easily find help. Close enough to be gifted food, and wares from their ceremony. But far enough out that it feels like just the two of them. A decent twenty minute walk in the right direction and they'd be back to either of their people. Theres no one else in sight, no other tents around. And they're left by themselves, in a small tent near a large lake. He can hear the sound of water crashing onto itself in the distance, but only if he focuses and lets his ears twitch. And he's-

Ignoring the moment, he supposes.

He sits back on the blankets, a mixture of elegant fawn and rabbit furs that have been carefully sewn together. They'd never been known to waste any bit of their hunt. The furs became clothing and blankets, material for leather and scrap. The bones were ground to power, for a base on their paints. The meat was cooked and saved, and scraps they couldn't use given to the wolves around them as feed. Their proudest hunt had been taking down a bear, a beautiful pelt his former lover had brought back hung from their chair for the longest time. Even now, it was used as a blanket, though carefully stolen from the chair to his room so he could wrap himself up in its warmth.

But, for something meant to be temporary, the bed is still soft. He finds himself wanting to fall into it and forget himself.

The tent is warm. He imagines they'd lit the fire twards the beginning of the day, because the chill of the night and rain doesn't make it past the entranceway of their tent.

He blinks at them. They'd been avoiding each-other most of the night. The celebration had been loud, and noisy, and he'd been more focused on celebrating the lack of battle in their upcoming days then he was their own union. He'd indulged in more food and brewery then he'd like to admit, and stuck to the people he knew best.

But now he's sat here with them, a little drunk and really rather exhausted.

"I don't want to scare you," Is the first thing that comes out of his mouth, past the heated and drunken haze. He thinks that might be easy to do. While he's not entirely tall, standing only around 5'll, he's still covered head to toe in his ceremonial markings. He has the eyes of his kind, deep brown and filling his eyes, his teeth are pointed and nails (while carefully painted a shade of yellow) Sharp. Though, he knows he has a gentle smile, and when his ear flicks back again to try not to focus on the sound of water, he lets a nervous one cross his face.

"We- Don't have to do anything tonight, if you don't want to," Is the first words he finds himself saying to them. His mother would probably be appalled by them. He loved her, but she was spiritual at heart, and he knew his pack wanted him to be united with them as soon as possible. But he feels the dizziness that comes from the beginning signs of a hangover, while still somehow feeling the heat of whatever drug they'd taken that night. "If you'd like for me to go to my mothers tent, I'd be willing to give you the night to yourself," It would mean walking through the rain, he supposed. But he was willing to give them that, willing to give them some time to themselves if it meant letting them relax. He doesn't recognize the feeling of anxiety running through his fingers, as well.