#the hyena one lives in my brain constantly

[pettyprocrastination]

Hi darling, I’m so sorry about your zuzu. Ollie got a new blanket today and he would like to show you :

If you feel like answering - which Pedro boys would have dogs? 😘😘😘

Thank you laura, and hello lovely lovely ollie! He looks so cozy!! I think

frankie is absolutely a dog guy. Like through and through that man talks to his dog he takes him for drives in his truck he gives him table scraps and lets him lay on the couch. his dog is the epitome of mans best friend cause He loves him so much

I like to imagine Dave york with a dog, but it's a little fluffy white dog (like zuzu :') because his daughters wanted a cute little puppy instead of a big trained guard dog and now he has some little yippy thing he has to talk on a walk every morning before work because he can't say no to his wife and daughters.

idk if dogs exist in starwars but yall saw when Din called to the massiff in season two and it trotted right on over? and he gave him some scritches? he deserves a big massiff that watches over him and grogu like a scaly Labrador.

I think Joel would love a dog. Goes in with the thing of him wanting a ranch, he deserves a pup he can train to protect his flock and herd the sheep in at his side <3 Sarah probably begged him for a dog growing up and he said that she could walk the neighbor's as training to see if she could handle the responsibility of taking care of one.

So I know climate-wise it's unrealistic to think of there being dogs in dorne- but (and ive talked about this with @thesadvampire ) I like the idea of dorne being home to a type of hyena type animal called a "dornish laughing hound" that are seen as scavengers and NOT pets but then oberyn's baratheon wifey is gifted a pup as a wedding day gift and she loves him so very much. He gets a jewled collar and is eating sweet meats and fruit from her hand every day but will bite anybody else. Oberyn is not happy about this arrangement in any way but can't say anything cause that's his wife's dog so he just has to live with the fact that this feral puppy that will grow into a giant hound is now chewing his shoes and sleeping in his spot in the bed.

I think marcus pike is just a companionship guy. I can see him with cats and/or dogs. Both of them fit into his fantasy of having a family to come home to so he loves them both very much :)

If Maxwell lord has a dog it's going to be a very fancy high breed he has professionally trained (or maybe it's the pitbull of the seamstress he and his wife are in love with hehe)

[too-much-tma-stuff]

Flowers From One Bitch to Another (2.5)

Part 1 | part 2

I'm working on another serious part of my Hyena!Danny AU but @basementqueercock suggested Harley thanking Danny for killing the Joker so while this AU is eating my brain have a little one off.

No warnings apply to this one besides a mention of sex

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All of Gotham was celebrating Joker's death, Red Hood and Hyena organized a street fair in Crime Alley, and Jason had never seen the place, His People, so happy. Hyena was by his side, pressing against him and purring up a storm as they enjoyed the celebration. They knew it was going on all across Gotham too, Jason was having fun imagining the ulcers Bruce was probably developing realizing he was the Only one who thought this was a tragedy. 

Jason has asked about the purring and Danny had admitted to not being entirely human but they hadn't gone into it more then that. There were tons of inhuman things, he could be part demon, or alien, or spirit, or god, or a dozen other things and he would talk about it when he was ready. Jason trusted Danny implicitly at this point, he had earned it, and they loved each other. Danny didn't have to tell him Everything, Jason didn't either, he wasn't ready to talk about the League of Shadows for instance. 

They had been enjoying the festival as well, dancing some to the live music, and constantly having food pushed onto them by just about ever vendor since it was known Danny was the one who killed the Joker. He had brought a bag with him and by the end it was full of trinkets and treats, and there were slightly wilted red flowers in his hair a child had given him. He looked incredibly happy, and Jason couldn't pull his gaze away from Danny.

Danny caught Jason looking at him and, impossibly, brightened even more, snuggling back against him. "Lets go find a place away from cameras and prying eyes to try some of these snacks hm?" Danny suggested, looking up at Jason, who chuckled softly and nodded. One thing he had learned well about Danny in the time they'd been together was the boy could Eat! He was always hungry.

The two of them extricated themselves from the celebrations, saying goodbyes and artfully dodging people who tried to draw them into conversation. They managed to escape and grappled up onto a nearby rooftop, putting a little distance between the festivities and themselves, though not so far they couldn't still hear the music and laughter.

Danny sat down on the ground and leaned against the outer wall so no one could see him and took off his muzzle, he took a deep breath of fresh air and tilted his head up towards the sun. Jason sat down next to him and took his own helmet off and took a deep breath as well. He reached out and cupped Danny's chin, turning his face back towards Jason so could lean in and kiss him. As always Danny submitted, plaint and willing in Jason's hands and under his lips, Danny closed his eyes and gave a soft sound of happiness and pleasure as they shared a long, lingering kiss.

When Jason pulled back Danny still seemed a little vague and blissed out, smiling stupidly at him. Jason chuckled and shook his head at Danny before pulling the bag from Danny's shoulder and digging around for the food in various take out boxes. He found a few beaded necklaces as well and draped them around Danny's neck making him snap out of his daze with a laugh. Jason grinned and used the necklaces to pull Danny in for another kiss.

Danny smiled at him and pulled gently at the white streak in Jason's bangs before beginning to help him set out the food on a blanket Danny must have brought with him. He must have planned this little picnic, he was always pretty far ahead on these things. Jason appreciated that about him, always looking out for people. People seemed to be looking out for them too as Jason looked at the veritable feast people had gifted them. Maybe he should have been more suspicious that it was poisoned but he didn't think any of their people would have, and Danny wouldn't have accepted food from anyone suspicious though, just in case...

"Would you heal from poison the way that you do from physical injuries?" He asked looking over at Danny who cocked his head with a crooked little smile, eyeing Jason.

"I'm immune to most poisons," He said with a little shrug. "But I can taste them. I'll be your taste tester, though I doubt anyone would poison us," He said, picking up some sort of meet kabab and nibbled it considerately, meanwhile Jason found a packaged snack without any signs of tampering and opened that. 

Danny tried a bunch of the prepared foods first and seemed to delight in feeding Jason by hand once he'd determined things were safe. Every now and then Jason took the chance to nibble or lick the tips of Danny's fingers making him giggle and blush. Food quickly became foreplay, feeding each other and occasionally tasting things on each other's lips, especially when they got in to the deserts. With sticky fingers and sugar on their lips it turned into making out, Danny laying on the hard roof and Jason over top of him, feeling the delightful rumbling of Danny's purr as he arched up against Jason. Fucking him while he purred was an experience.

A thump on the rooftop across from them had Jason pushing himself away from Danny and drawing his gun in one smooth motion, pointing it towards the noise while cursing himself for letting his guard down while they were in the open like this! He hesitated when he saw who it was though.

"Harley?" Danny asked worriedly, having scrambled to grab his muzzle and only looking up once it was back on.

"Hey there Sugar," She said giving Danny a tremulous smile, and ignoring Jason entirely. Harley was dressed in a bomber jacket and shorts, because weather didn't matter, she had a messenger bag over her shoulder and kept messing with the strap nervously. Still she looked better the way she had basically ever since calling it quits with the Joker for good. "I hear through the grapevine you were the one that killed the Joker."

"I did, because he hurt my Boo," Danny confirmed, shifting a little closer to Jason. They were both still wary, Harley was unpredictable and she had loved the Joker for a long time. Even if she didn't love him anymore there was a chance there was still some misplaced loyalty lingering in there somewhere.

"Ya, he hurt a lotta people, my Puddin," She said with a little laugh. "Hurt me too, a lot. I've been having a lot of big feelings since he died. I've been pretty damn sad, but I'm also pretty damn relieved. And Pam is thrilled, and that she's happy makes me happy. I brought you some stuff," She said slinging the bag off her shoulder and glanced up at them again, seeing them still tense and wary she rolled her eyes. "Yeesh I'm not gonna hurt you two! You did all of Gotham a favour, and he was never gonna change, I know that."

Danny nodded and wandered over to her, of course she couldn't actually hurt Danny, though they were still trying to keep his abilities under wraps. Jason stayed back with his hand on his gun just in case, though he wasn't pointing it at anyone anymore. "I brought you some flowers, though it looks like someone's already got that covered," She said gesturing to the ones wilting in Danny's hair, making him cackle. She pulled out what looked like more then a dozen roses in different colours and held them out to Danny. "They're from Ivy, they won't wilt, just get them in some water when you get home, if they start to look wilty add a bit of blood to the water. You two still kill enough for that huh?" She laughed too.

"No tricks? No poison?" Jason asked a little warily even as Danny reached for the flowers.

Harley glanced at him and shook her head; "Nope! None of that!" She promised with a cheeky little smile. "I don't think you two need any cuddle pollen either, the way ya were all over each other when I showed up."

Jason didn't have his helmet to hide his blush this time, but at least he wasn't alone, Danny's ears were turning pink as well as Harley cackled at them. "I brought some other stuff too," Harley told them, this time just handing the bag over to Danny. "Since you two seem to be jacking me 'n Puddin's old style. You don' have to keep any of it, throw out anything you don't want but hey, maybe there's a trophy in there, or something that would look good on you," She said elbowing Danny. "You're not that much bigger then me, think your man would like to see you in a corset?" She teased and Danny cackled his Hyena laugh snatching the bag.

"Thanks Harley, maybe we can go to Penguin's club to have a proper celebration some time soon," Red Hood said, finally holstering his gun and moving to wrap an arm around Danny's shoulders. "We can make it a double date."

"Is he even old enough to drink," Harley joked, gesturing to Danny who cackled.

Really neither he Nor Jason were technically old enough to drink, but who gave a shit about that with all the other stuff they'd done?

Part 3

Masterpost

[kharmii]

In the area where I live there are really only a handful of people still wearing masks its either leftist teen pupils or Karen looking women. Leftism and all that nonsense really didn't take off in the area I live even if the greater country cares a lot about leftism.

At the very least they are easy to recognize and here and are rare to spot in the wild and even easier to avoid.

Personally I never caught the virus. And I highly doubt the vaccine helped with that. I am usually preferring to stay at home and I think I am one of those people being immune to this whole thing from the get-go (and I worked in retail for the majority of the time, working with young children who sprayed their sneezes all across the room when they were too young to have memorized sneeze etiquette.)

But this isn't about me it is about weirdos still wearing masks and I chuckle to myself each time I see them. Hon things are looking good right now and no mask can help you save brain cells since you all kick them out when you joined the leftist cult.

It is comforting to live in an area where most modern day leftism is rejected or ignored... Makes me feel like real life really only has a handful of lunatics advocating for this bs and common sense still has a big space there.

I hope in the upcoming years all this nonsense will eventually die out and we have a new nonsensical trend people do that is less harmful than the current one.

Only just recently did some of the hardcore mask people stop wearing them at work. There are still a few people around, and I mostly see them when I'm out shopping.

I never got Covid either, or if I did, it was so mild it was hardly noticeable. Some people reported losing their sense of smell for a few days or having a scratchiness in their throats. I had that a time or two. It might be a mix of genetic luck of the draw and goodish lifestyle choices. I don't always eat the best, but I stay physically fit. I don't smoke or drink.

The thing is...I'm not the same person irl that I am trolling on the internet. I'm actually sensitive and considerate, and some people have even misinterpreted me as being shy. Years ago, at work, someone released a baby raccoon caught in a trap crying for its mommy, and a bunch of people assumed it was me. I was like, "What?! I didn't even know it was there!" (If it was me, why wouldn't they assume I still had it stuffed in my shirt like MY BABY RACCOON NOW!!)

If the people I worked with were decent, I might have suffered wearing the mask for a bit when asked, even though it was stupid, pointless, and ineffective, and I don't like wasting my time with stupid, pointless crap, especially if it comes with an uncomfortable sensory experience. My job is physically demanding, and I can't have restricted breathing. Someone sitting at a desk all day might not be capable of understanding that.

When Covid hysteria first hit, I still had a committed stalker, and I was working around a bunch of low lives who'd cackle around me like hyenas. Almost every day, I'd have to listen to this nasty, nasty woman mutter under her breath, "Huhuhuhuhuhuhuh.....you can't make comedy like this up!" every time I'd get harassed by the stalker guy.

-So then when someone accused me of 'dehumanizing them' for not wearing the mask, I went off. I've been dehumanized constantly my entire life, -sometimes by my own family- and nobody has ever given the slightest damn. I don't want to hear about how (so-and-so) lives a cushy, pain-free life and still feels 'dehumanized' because they belong to some 'marginalized' group, or because someone around them isn't towing the line to follow some group-think political agenda.

Again, if I thought people would actually die if I personally didn't wear a mask, then I'd wear one. If I was surrounded by decent people who treated me well, then I'd wear one out of consideration for their anxiety. -But I'm surrounded by narrow-minded goobers, some of which clearly don't believe their own bullshit and only were doing it because they cared too much about what other people thought. A couple people might have even got the vaccine for that reason.

Side note: I'm feeling a smidge pissy today because someone started drama at work after a long period of peace. About once a month, I'll heat up fish in the break room, either salmon or rainbow trout over rice. Keep in mind, the break room isn't a place where people hang out. Workers will heat up their food, grab their drinks out of the fridge, then go off and eat somewhere else. The only time we had people hanging out in the break room was when we had the two office workers shirking their duties and going in there to hide.

Around Christmas, the stalker guy made some comment like, 'Someone didn't like how you heated up fish yesterday.'

I replied something like, 'Someone can fuck right on off...'

Now today, I get a note in my workstation saying, 'Stop heating up fish in the microwave. Signed: Everybody :-)

I hung it up on the wall with a reply, 'If you don't like it, get a job at McDonalds where the food smells good. I only eat fish once a month. Get a life.' *circles the word 'everybody'* 'Like I've ever cared.'

I can't count how many times I'd be surrounded by dirty rotten low life scumbags cackling around me with an attitude like, "Everybody has decided....(this and that) about you."

As if I'm going to be like, "What?! You mean 'everybody' has an issue with something I'm doing?! Well then, I guess I'd better goddamn well change!"

This is that impossible standard of perfection I'm always going on about. Nobody cares that I'll clean out the microwave every so often, or bring in plastic cutlery everybody is free to use, or that I'm one of the few people who puts napkins over my food when I heat it up, so food doesn't splatter all over the microwave. I heat food up every day (fish once a month, every other kind of food the rest of the month). Nobody notices or gives a damn about anything positive I do. They have to find something to pick a fight about, and it's always something that's not that big of a deal.

[lanaevyssmoved]

3, 7, 10, 37 and 50 + your most special OC atm for the OC questions?

3. Do they enjoy cooking?

i think if u put afhiri in front of a fire something terrible would happen :) however since her mans be a housewife in disguise who absolutely adores cooking for everyone and anyone, they definitely Watch.. and they think it's Really Cool and Awesome.. they are indeed impressed that gale can make things that taste good . but absolutely no one would trust afhiri to cook. i think gale would scream as an instant reaction if she reached for a cooking utensil .........

7. Do they have any unusual fears?

hmmmmmmm.. this is a difficult one.

i can see afhiri being the type of person who fears absolutely nothing. i mean, i don't think they do fear anything, genuinely. this clown doesn't have that part of the brain that yells danger danger for them to experience fear in a base regard. they absolutely fear for their friends lives when they're hurt in combat, they fear gale's death, they fear very real and understandable things. but these things are also cured so quickly with a reassuring word because if loved one says there's no need to fear there's no need to fear! unusual though?

i can see them having stupid, illogical, weird one off fears, "what if you turn into a gnoll!" "can't turn into a gnoll, dear, i'm not a hyena" "oh....... thats good. being a gnoll would be pretty cool though" "yes dear" you know how it is. can absolutely see astarion giving a shit ass comment like YOU'RE AFRAID OF THAT BUT NOT THE MYRAID OF THINGS WE'VE ENCOUNTERED THAT WERE ACTUALLY LIFE THREATENING? ah.. theres no point fighting it astarion you will only exhaust urself my friend

but it is safe to say even the weird fears could not be considered real fear, just being a bit stupid

10. Do they have any regrets?

no, easily, no. i don't see afhiri being capable of regret. every action is done on instinct, it's gut reaction, it's doing what feels right at the time and there's no way you can regret being true to yourself like that. even in those rare occasions they look to friends for guidance, how can they regret a choice they had help with, when that help came from someone they love and trust entirely? nah, there's no regret in this clown

37. Are they religious? If so do they have a strong sense of faith, are they uncertain, or are they somewhere in between?

afhiri is fucking stupid and didn't think gods were real. in a d&d setting. absolute moron (affectionate). it wasn't until being close to the explicitly religious members of the group (shadowheart and gale) that they started to think about it seriously and not like fairytales for children. since these two are like. yknow. very insistent that gods do be real things, afhiri, she believes they are real things now. progress. but that just leads to immense dislike. ok, so ur telling me, that higher beings with the ability to do whatever the fuck they want, including help people in need, not allow people like my family to struggle with basic things like making sure everyone can eat today, could help us with our problems, and theyre also.. causing your hand to hurt constantly, and making my babyboy clowny silly wizard man cry at night? ok. so why do we worship them? sounds like theyre shitheads. does a strong sense of faith mean a strong sense of im gonna punch shar and mystra so hard in the nose it collapses into their skulls? (breaks her own hand. worth it)

its safe to say if afhiri is opinionated on anything its that the things hurting their loved ones are evil. that includes gods

50. What is your favourite thing about them?

answered here hehe

but instead this time i'll say my favourite thing about afhiri is that they've helped me bond with so many cool people who care about my ideas and creativity and i think thats really neat and deserves to be appreciated by speaking it into the world in a small moment of vulnerability

[beastlybardou]

Alright, so lately I've been thinking about how my identities sorta overlap and separate from each other and I thought I would try and make a post explaining what each of my identities is and how they play into each other. I have no idea if this is gonna be coherent to anyone else but here we go.

KINTYPES:

Werewolf

This is my #1 core identity. If I wasn't a werewolf I wouldn't be me or anything even close to recognizable as me. This is just who I am. I don't view myself as human because I am a werewolf, when I say I'm nonhuman this is what I mean.

This identity has been with me since I was very little and I think it is a mix of "born this way" and trauma formed. I guess what I mean is I think I would have been nonhuman no matter what because I think I was born nonhuman, but trauma is what shaped me into a werewolf specifically. I think if I hadn't experienced that trauma I actually would have been a cat instead? But thats a topic for another day.

Physically I see my werewolf self as around the size of a polar bear (standing at about 10 feet tall on my back legs) with a thick dark black and brown coat resembling black phased Yukon Wolves like the one below.

I am largely quadrapedal but have the ability to stand on my back legs for short periods, similar to a bear. My anatomy is far more similar to a wolf than a human's, with just a few humanoid features like arm-like front legs and thumbs. Below are two of the images that feel most similar to me anatomically.

By Chasing The Silver Stag on deviantart

By Oroboros

I connect being a werewolf with living in a cold, mountainous area, living off the land, and having a small cozy close knit pack.

My species dysphoria from this identity is very strong and I am constantly shifted though I do experience strong flare-up in shifts occasionally to the point that I am barely capable of clear human reasoning and language. I would say even when I'm completely "wolfed out" I retain human level intelligence, just not human thought patterns - I am instead instinct driven.

Death and Decay

So, this is kind of a combo conceptkin and ficrionkin thing. I am a fictional character who is the embodiment of decay. Due to the nature of the fictionkin source I tend to not say who it is, and its not really important for this discussion either - he is a lich that acts as a minor god or eidolon of decay and thats whats important.

This identity is a little funky in that I have always been deeply connected to death, decay and the cycle of life coming from death but I did not identify as this character until very recently. I just came across him and he was so similar to me, almost 1:1 that my brain just kind of stuck and ran with it to the point that it became a full on "identify as" situation.

This identity mostly manifests as a deep feeling of kinship with death and the dead, I see a bit of myself in every bit of roadkill or scrap of rotted moss covered bones and goop. Not just the pretty #goblincore kind of rot either, I am the filthy stinking bloated and maggot filled mess as well.

I have a strong tendency to "tend" the dead in odd ways. While most like to put the dead away where we don't see them anymore as a form of respect, I like to keep engaged with them and surround myself with remnants of their life and body.

Heartedtypes:

Bats

I mostly identify with big brown bats and ghost bats but really I am hearted with all of them. Sometimes this heartedtype appears as a flicker but by and large its mostly a "with" not "as" situation. I don't know, I don't have much to say about this other than bats I love you.

Hyenas

All of them. I thought I was a hyena cladotherian for a while but I think really its another situation similar to bats where its a heartedtype that comes with flickers. Hyenas were also a very important part of me coming to realize that I am trans, and for that they'll always hold a special place in my heart. I still use them as sort of a personal symbol for my queerness.

Personal Symbol/Representative

Vesperulf

So a lot of you on this account probably remember when I identified as an original species called a vesperulf which was essentially an undead werewolf, bat and hyena hybrid. That was kind of a misstep on my part because this isn't its own kintype or full identity but rather more a representative of who I am made up of the sum of my parts. If you put together all the stuff that makes up me you get a vesperulf. Its sort of like a symbolic representation of me.

Black Shuck

What do you get when you mix a monster wolf and the concept of death and decay? A black shuck(ish). I don't exactly consider this a kintype, but I am a black shuck - I'm not sure how to explain it. I think if all our physical human bodies got zapped and we became our kintypes I would become a monstrous black shuck as the middle ground between my two kintypes. Its the overlap in the Venn Diagram of my identities.

[starshipsofstarlord]

Mummy Quinn - Harley Quinn x reader

Masterlist Link

Summary; whilst coming home from shopping, Harley returns with more than just food...

Warnings; kidnapping, Harley having (severe) baby fever, mention of death and murder, mentions of insanity and mental health, mentions of parental abuse, mentions of alcoholism, swearing, homelessness mention

divider by @firefly-graphics

“It’s okay Bruce, mummy will be home soon, she just went out to get us some jerked. Now this time, you’re not eating the whole bag, okay? I need to eat too, otherwise I will die, and well, I don’t want to end up like the rest of my family, okay? Good, I’m glad we’re on the same page buddy, if we weren’t then we’d have a problem.” You spoke the the giggling hyena, ruffling his ears, as the sound of the door opening made the animal lurch his head forward in hilarity, and you turn.

You expected various bags of junk food, but instead there was one small carrier containing such things, Harley also held a container of diapers and a baby, that was clinging onto her shoulder, as she multitasked with all the cargo that she was delivering to your shared flat. A furrow enclosed on your brow, as you focused on the child that she had brought home, it was practically tethered to her, grasping onto her extravagant clothing as though it never wanted to let your girlfriend go.

“Is that a baby?” You asked her, surprised by her tentativeness to it as she placed all else down, and bounced the oblivious infant in her arms. If it were able to comprehend its situation, it would surely be screaming that it was in a nut job’s arms (though you weren’t that much more sane than her), wailing out to be rescued from the mad woman’s hands.

Half the time, you didn’t think about Harley’s mental health, being around her was normal. But right now, you were worrying for it; you wondered why she had a baby, of all things! It’d make more sense if she returned home with a giraffe than a small human, even a dead body would be more comforting than the fact that she had an actual child in her arms.

“Obviously silly.” Harley replied, shrugging the puffs of her shirt up to the sides of her head as a toothy and stretched smile found port on her face. “I’m gonna call him Bruno, he looks like one, doesn’t he? Such a cute baby, aren’t you Bruno, and since we can’t have one of our own, neither can we go through the method of adopting because our reputations proceed us, we have this little guy.”

“Where’d you find him Harl?” You cooed, walking closer as Bruno, as she had claimed to dub him, reached his hand out towards you, his nimble and small fingers hardly managing to wrap around one of your own. It was true, being a criminal sucked. You weren’t able to adopt because laws and blah blah blah. So that was a great blockade in the way of ever having children with the woman that you loved.

“At the grocery store.” She answered, making you snap your eyes up to her, shocked by the revelation behind her words. “What? Don’t look at me like that, if you’d have seen him, you’d have taken him too. The parents weren’t even paying attention to him, instead they were buying vast bottles of whiskey. I know that life, and I lived it!”

“They’re his parents baby.” You tried to reason with her as she ruggedly shook her messy hair in vain, panicking. “You turned out fine, he’ll do the same, in his own way.” She bellowed a laugh out of you, as tears swamped her icy eyes, her nostrils flaring passively as she tried to keep it and herself all together.

“I’m fine. I’m fine?! Really sweets, we sure as hell know I’m anything but fine! Look at me, really look at me y/n, would you say I’m sane? Would you say that I have my head on straight? Exactly, my childhood bore into half of this, my alcoholic father constantly putting pressure on me to be the image of perfection and intellect, but that didn’t last. I was foolish, until I met J, because every one in my life were constantly trying to protect me, except him.”

“Harley.” You sighed, raking your hand through your hair as you watched how she protectively hugged the child to her chest. “People fuck kids up, yes, they do it all the fucking time, but this one isn’t ours to fuck up. He has parents, they brought him into this world, and it’s their responsibility to raise him.”

“Well, we could kill them.” She offered, as her face crinkled in disregard of what you were trying to say. “He could be ours, our baby. We’d give him a good life, he’d have everything he could ever want.”

“And it’d all be stolen except sandwiches from Sal’s.” You stated, huffing as you hated demeaning her wishes like this, but it was necessary. “You have to give him back Harley, he is not ours to keep.”

“But I bought him diapers and one of those rattly thingies.” She pouted, the red on her lips extenuating her expression. The majority of the time you crumbled when she did that, but you couldn’t, not now. The tone was too serious, and whilst you weren’t one hundred percent alike to those who were ‘sane’, it was clear that this wrong, and you didn’t want her to end up in Arkham again.

“Doesn’t matter, you stole them anyway, same as you did with him. Now suck it up, because we will not be keeping him, and you’re making Brucey feel unloved. He is our child, if you want, we can get another pet.” Bruce grunted in satisfaction of his presence being adjourned and noticed, swiping his tongue up the palm of your hand as an act of affection.

“Really?” She squealed, going to clap her hands together, but realising that she had the child in her arms. “Fine, I suppose you’re right.” Her head dropped as she turned towards the door, grabbing the bag of diapers and going to disappear out the entrance. You spoke her name, causing her to freeze.

“I love you, and I’m proud of you honey.” You told her, causing her to nod in relevance, and once she exited out the door, you heard crying, but it was not coming out from the infant. With a sigh, the background noise of them descending down the building rattling in your brain, you grasped your phone. “Can’t believe I’m doing this.” You grumbled, pressing your hand against your hip as you dialled a number on your phone.

“Hello, who is this?” The voice of a woman spoke through the phone, the caller ID clearly not being a concern of the person who had answered.

“Selena, it’s me y/n.” She greeted you in turn, as you waited for her to finish speaking. “So you’re street smart and all, do you think you can get me a rat off the streets? No, not an actual rat, a kid, sorry for my description, don’t claw my eyes out, of a night I see some pretty interesting things... anyways, I want to adopt and being a criminal and shit, that’s rather difficult...” Harley was going to love you, that was until she heard you change your mind on the pet ordeal.

A while later the door opened again, a snicker rolled around the room, but it was not from behind you in the tub, where Bruce was seated. No, Harley walked in with a white leash, and a hyena, of course. “This is Alfred, you said I could get a pet, so I got one.” Great, a new pet and now a kid, the one bedroom apartment was sure going to be crowded.

[byulsgrease]

if you arent too busy, can you write a idol!hwasa x idol!reader, wherein they both have to practice with each other for a special stage. However on the first meeting they become starstruck and cant believe somethings are real, but soon warm up to each other?

i'm not terribly busy but this still took a while anyway oops - sorry this took so long anon! here you go :D

if anyone has requests for the other members hmu cuz I've got 2 more hyejin reqs after this one (not that I'm complaining)

"who says we can't do something on our own?"

(hwasa x idol!reader, ~1.2k words)

cw: food + alcohol mention (y'all know how it is)

I named someone Minjeong - it's not Aespa's Winter, idk anything about 4th gen gg's - 민정 is my Korean name so it's just what came to mind

"Hey, wake up. You've gotta see this. GET UP," a voice piercing through the fog of your sleep.

What a rude awakening. Your shoulders being shaken vigorously by a pair of small hands meant they belonged to none other than Minjeong, your youngest group member. You rolled over to glare menacingly at her with one eye open, trying to pull your brain out of the slumber. All you could see was the bright light of her phone shining in your eyes - a video of some kind. But then you heard the audio:

"Have you seen the clip?" asked the interviewer.

"Yes, my members and many MooMoos made sure I saw it"— Moos? Oh, it's Hwasa. WAIT. Both your eyes flew open as you sat up and snatched Jeongie's phone out of her hand to stare at the video. Your mind immediately flashed back to the interview you did last week - they asked who you most wanted to collaborate with, if there were no limitations. Your ears started to heat up at the sheer thought of the flustered mess of an answer you gave - of course you said Hwasa. Both of you debuted relatively close to each other, within a year, but never interacted much over the years. Mamamoo as a group was a force to be reckoned with, but there was just something about Hwasa specifically. You mostly just admired her unique singing voice and undeniable stage presence, and her relentless drive to always be herself in an industry constantly trying to fit women into a box.

Finally snapping out of re-living that embarrassment, your attention turned back to the phone in your hand. The interviewer must've asked her to send a message in response to you, because you couldn't believe that she was waving and saying, "How haven't we gotten to know each other better over all these years? I'd love to work with you on something sometime," curtly dipping her head in a slight bow.

"SEE? You needed to see that," Minjeong rushed to say, full of energy. "And close your mouth, your jaw's on the floor," jokingly pointing.

You side-eyed her and shut your mouth. "Is this what Loco felt like when she called him during Hyena on the Keyboard?" you wondered aloud.

"At least she's not calling you while on camera," she commented, knowing full well that you'd probably embarrass yourself again if she did. "But hey, at least she noticed you! Can I have my phone back now?" It would be a dream come true to collaborate with her, but cross-company collabs... always a pain. that couldn't be helped. The fantasy abruptly ended with demands from your rumbling stomach. Done with your what-if's, you placed the phone back in your maknae's outstretched hand to get up and make breakfast.

~~~~

With award show season rolling around, the crazy scramble of rehearsing for special live stages without leaking sets and collabs began. Checking your email that morning showed a schedule to record the backing track for a special live stage, but that was it. With who? You texted your members a screenshot, but they all told you that block of time in their schedule was empty. A solo stage? The solo mini-album you released this cycle did relatively well, the title track got a music show win, but not a multi-week chart-topper by any means. Possibilities turning over in your mind, you stepped out from your place to head to the company, totally in the dark about what was in store.

The recording studio always smelled the same along with the couches, a comfort for all the insanely long nights and crack-of-dawn early mornings over the years. With a bit of time to kill, you plopped down on one and gingerly patted the worn cushions as some kind of symbolic thank-you for supporting you (literally).

A hesitant but loud knock sent your gaze directly to the door. Watching it slowly open, you leaned forward to see who it was. Needless to say, your jaw fell to the floor again as you clapped a hand over your gaping mouth, eyes widening. Like a soldier obeying a command, you immediately stood up as straight as possible and bowed profusely at Hwasa, sporting a very similar expression on her face (which you failed to notice, your mind running a million miles a minute).

After a series of frantic bows and miscellaneous utterances to each other, she spoke. "It's nice to finally meet you," she said with calm, surveying your frenzied state. "I guess we're granting that collab wish from your interview, huh?"

The red-hot embarrassment leapt to your face. "I...I definitely made a fool of myself answering that question. And our maknae showed me your interview clip too, which was cool, but never did I think it would actually happen," you stammered. I should probably stop talking.

"Well, here I am," she half-smiled coolly. "Let's get started, I'm really looking forward to finally work with you on this," a gleam in her eye and a hint of excitement in her voice.

The studio suddenly felt a lot smaller with her in it, despite there only being your managers, the producer, and the both of you - less people than you and your members alone. Both of you remained relatively quiet the whole time, rather unsure of what to say or talk about. You watched enough MMMTV to know that all the members on their own were shyer than together, and Hwasa knew the same was true for you. But the work basically took care of itself, seamlessly taking turns in the recording booth, witnessing each other's work style and process. The both of you knew your way in front of a mic, seasoned professionals by now. Upon wrapping up, you bowed politely to each other after a quick exchange of KaTalk info, a short and sweet goodbye.

That was... anticlimactic. I mean, it's finally happening - I can't believe it. But maybe I was too idealistic about maybe creating a meaningful relationship with her outside of work... What does she think of me?

~~~~

In the days leading up to the collab stage, you kept going back and forth on whether to reach out or not, despite now being in possession of her contact info. What would you even say? Thoughts of a witty one-liner or relatable meme came to mind, but maybe she'd assume the worst - that you were clout-chasing, or something. Anxieties abuzz, your phone vibrated in your pocket. The KaTalk notification sprawled across your screen. Speak of the devil, it's her.

"Hey, awards season has me stressed. I know you must pretty busy right now too, but I somehow get off early tomorrow if you wanna grab dinner after work?" You had to reread that one. Oh, what? She's inviting me?

Trying not to be weird about responding too quickly, you typed out, "Wow, yeah, that sounds great! ^^ wait, your company doesn't care about you going out to eat during award season?"

"nah, they stopped having that kind of control over us a while ago, we are the money-maker of the company, after all 😏"

"so I guess this means they don't check your phone either ㅋㅋㅋ"

"nope :)"

You proceeded to set a time and place to meet, someplace with meat.

In the process of feasting on an inordinate amount of gopchang imbued with a splash of beer, you learned a fair amount about each other. You talked career, professional aspirations, the weird habits of your members, and more. What surprised you most was the amount of things she already knew about you, having admitted to watching some of your behind-the-scenes content after seeing your interview clip.

"Ah... I'm sorry if I came across as distant during that first recording session," she confessed, pausing to sip her beer. "I honestly didn't know what to do with myself, I felt a little star-struck."

"Oh what?? I felt the exact same, so no worries - and sorry if I came off similarly distant," you rambled back. A bit of silence fell between you, acknowledging the mutual sentiment. You spoke up after a bit, "Thanks for inviting me out tonight, I didn't realize how much I needed this."

"Thank you for making the time, I had fun getting to know you better," she articulated with a smile. "Maybe it'll make the collab stage better," she added on jokingly. You responded with a nod and expression of mutual affirmation.

~~~~

After that, messaging each other became a regular occurrence, that gopchang outing having broken the ice. Honestly, you tried your best to talk about anything besides work, but the baseline of shared understanding connected you in a way that came more naturally than it did with your non idol friends.

You stood across the way from her at the sound check for the final stage, dressed in joggers and slides. Funny to think that you'd be recording this for real in a couple hours, making eyes with the blinking red light on the cameras surrounding you. It sucks that fans wouldn't get to experience the energy and atmosphere of the performance - Hyejin alone is one thing, but adding someone else into her stage presence? Unmatched. There's nothing quite like a live performance - and while you knew everyone in the industry dealt with the consequences of the pandemic, it certainly took a toll to perform and not feel the energy from fans. But realistically, nothing you could do about it. The sound check went over smooth like butter. The stage chemistry came flowing naturally between you both, even when bare-faced and dressed in just sweats.

And when the time came for the actual filming, you both absolutely killed it, an upbeat mash-up of TWIT and your title track. At the very end came a sliver of hesitation before throwing your arms around each other with a big smile for the ending fairy, proud of the work you accomplished together, and a mental fist-pump to yourself for making friends with one of the industry's finest.

Once again walking to a restaurant that served mostly meat to celebrate, you playfully proposed, "We... should do that again sometime." A little puff of air came out her nose in amusement.

"Yeah, we should. Too bad we're gonna have to wait a whole cycle before we can release anything else together again," she sighed longingly.

"Who says we can't do something on our own?"

[yandere-wishes]

Yandere Reaction 💖Darling Signing A Contract With Azul💖

How would Yandere Leona, Carter, Jamil and Riddle react to their darling escaping and trying to sign a contract with Azul to reclaim their freedom.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Leona is annoyed, he woke up from his nap to see that you had disappeared. Your side of the bed was cold, your sent barely clinging to the sheets. He sighs when he realizes that you must have left quite some time ago.  What a hassle now he's going to have to actually look around for you it's too much work! But the lingering promise of punishment does make a rabid excitement build up inside him causing his muscles twitch and ears to perk up. 

The first thing he does is call Ruggie and have him start asking around the, trying to pry information from the other member of his dorm. He'll also enlist Jack, giving him a piece of your clothes or some piece of jewelry he may have bought you, anything that has preserved your sweet, intoxicating aroma. Being the all so good, always eager to please guard dog that he is, Jack will follow your scent all over Night Raven College. With Leona lethargically following behind. 

eventually, the invisible trail leads them straight to the Octavinelle dormitory. Of course, Leona is displeased with this, not only is the place under freaking water! But the worst most calculating, conniving person lives there. The school's very own loanshark, Azul Ashengrotto! To say that Leona is displeased is an understatement, he's downright furious! What the hell are you try to do? Sign a freaking contract with the devil! Are you so desperate to trade away your goddam soul! Really it's not so much that Leona cares exactly what Azul asks from you, rather it's the notion that you'll belong to someone other than himself that makes hin charge inside the  Mostro Lounge. Claws out, teeth bare, ready for a fight. 

The sight awaiting him is just infuriating. There you are seating all meek pen in hand, eyes wide, fear and panic dancing over your face, like a  little doomed rabbit. While Azul looms over you, that calculating avaricious smirk plastered on his pale face. 

"Ah, senior Leona how nice of you to join us. Would you like some refreshments? Tea, coffee maybe some milk?"

Leona doesn't respond he's too agitated, too vexed. He runs up to your shacking form, grabbing your wrist, pulling you forcefully to his side. In the midst of the moment, he's calm having you back in his arms makes the carnivorous fury die down. He gently kisses your head, lingering a second too long before he's throwing you over to Jack. 

He's in Azul's face, threatening to skin him alive and throw him to the hyenas to eat if he ever even think about scamming Leona's beloved into another contract. He rips the parchment in front of the sea witch then processes to march back to where you and your wolf bodyguard are standing. 

Leona's a lot rougher now, squishing you to his side as the three of you depart back to your "home". Leona just can't comprehend why you would sign that contract. 

He's never done anything to hurt you

He's never 

so why? Why are you so desperate to get away from him?! It downs on him when he's dragged you back into savanclaw territory. In the middle of his rage, he realizes just why you're all so eager to reclaim your precious freedom. You're lying on the cracked rough ground, holding your bleeding cheek where he just struck you. You're crying and trembling, it almost makes him want to stop, almost makes him want to hug you close to his chest promising everything will be all right. But he doesn't instead he kicks you with enough force to turn you over onto your back. He lifts his foot crushing down on your arm. Relishing in the cracking of bones and your screams of pain. 

Leona's reaction differs from moment to moment, one second he's simply annoyed and the next he's choking on his rage. He knows that he has to change a bit, to be sweeter, nicer to show a bit more empathy if he truly wants to keep you as his queen.  

Carter's in a sheer frenzy, he's stunned speechless when he sees you walk over to the Mostro Lounge manager. But instead of ordering drinks like you were supposed to do, you're chatting up Azul about something that he can't hear. 

It's nervewracking watching the two of you. Carter can't quite tell what expression you're wearing but he knows that the Azul is giddy about something, smiling and laughing. Oh god, what are you talking about! It's only when he sees Azul retrieve parchment and his signature golden fish pen that he realizes just what is happening. 

Carter is quick to react, he's sprung to his feet and by your side before your fingers can even graze the murky colored contract. His arms are wrapped protectively around you, squeezing with just an ounce more force then they need to be. His shimmering emerald eyes are glaring daggers at Azul, but his tone is as cheerful and preppy as always.

"Azul-chan you know it's rude to take advantage of naive first years right?~ innocent little (y/n) doesn't understand how your contracts operate yet~"

"Actually they do Carter, tell me what in the great sea witch's name have you done to poor unfortunate (Y/N), for them to be so desperate to get away from you? So much so, that they are willing to trade they're special ability for?"

That hurt...

It felt worst than a kick to the stomach...

Worst then when his pictures only got 100 likes...

worst then Riddle's loud screams...

You...You were trying to run away from him? Carter's heartbroken, he can't stand the thought of you not loving him. Heck, you hate him so much that you're willing to trade away your ability to be apart from him!

Once you get back to Heartslabyul, he's hectic. Shacking you with tears in his eyes, demanding to know why you don't love him! "What have I done wrong? Do you love someone else is that it!" He makes accusation after accusation trying to find out just why you're desperate to be rid of him. 

Never once does he consider that it could be because his presence suffocates you. That simply standing next to him, strips your lungs of air, drives your brain into a historical fit! And you don't tell in fear of further angering him. 

Carter's reaction is heartbroken mania, he's sad, angry, determined to fix things, everything at the same time. He'll try all so hard to mend things between the two of you. Shower you in gifts, take you outside more often, even give you some more freedom. ANYTHING as long as you will love him again!

Jamil actually finds it rather funny when you try to beg Azul for a contract. Oh, sure he knew what you would do the moment he saw you slip away from his side while he was preoccupied with Kalim. He knew you would run straight to the sea witch, ready to get on your knees and plead for a contract. You were willing to humiliate yourself in any way imaginable so long as you could escape Jamil's clutch.

Jamil's eyes follow you as you walk over the counter and whisper something in Jade's ear. He knows everything that's about to unfold. Knows how Azul will bring out some parchment and his golden pen and "nicely" state the terms of service. He knows all this yet chooses to sit idly by. He wants you to get as close to your freedom as possible, practically graze it before he snatches it away for good this time. Cause after the stunt you're pulling there is no way in hell that Jamil is ever letting you leave the Scarabia dormitory ever again.

And sure enough, it goes exactly as planned. Azul walks out ready to grant you "your one true wish" all posed and gentleman like...except he's leaning way to close. His lips are brushing against your ear. His thin pale fingers are reaching out to grab your own pulling them towards himself. 

It's that moment that Jamil reacts, that he realizes that you've played your little game long enough. He slams his hands on the table, causing Kalim to jump spilling his drink and the other customers to turn around all holding their breaths for a magic fight to break out. 

Just like everyone else Azul slowly pulls away from you, eyes trained on Jamil a smirk dangling on his charming face. Your vacant eyes stare back into the dark ones of the sand mage. You know your fate, know the penalty for the crim you commented. Despite what Jamil may think he knows, you were always one fragmented step ahead. You knew you would never be free, knew that you would always be confined in Jamil's cave of wonders.

Reluctantly you heave yourself to your feet, breaking the thick silence with the screeching of the chair legs along the marble floor. You gradually trudge back to the table where the man who owns you is awaiting impatiently. 

"Don't test me (y/n)" 

His lips brush over the shell of your ear sending a cold shiver up your spin. His breath cresses the soft flesh of your neck as he places a teasing kiss over one of the visible love bites he left not so long ago. Jamil's fingers dig into your sides, sizing you up as tightly as he could. You where sure there would be bruises by the time he let go, there always was. Slowly his fingers snaked around your waist pushing you flat against his chest, smoldering your face in the fabric of his shirt. 

"That goes for you too Azul" 

His voice was oddly modulated, kept barely above a hush, you wonder how he expects Azul to be able to hear from across the room. It's a  haughty laugh that answers your question. The voice is much closer then you anticipated. Silk covered fingers tangle themselves in your lock as you hear the manger of the  Mostro Lounge speak up. "You may consider keeping sweet little (y/n) on a shorter lease, that way she won't accidentally find her self trapped in my grasp."

Suffice it to say he does, Jamil grants the exact opposite of your wish. He steals the minuscule fragments of freedom you had left, keeping you constantly by his side, arms always wrapped around your waist tight enough to make walking an uncomfortable feat.

Jamil's reaction is one just amusement, sure he feels betrayed but that feeling has long become nostalgic for the young man. There really isn't much you could say or do to get under his skin. But there is all so much he can do to get under your skin and he'll be dame sure to leave some marks! 

Riddle is furious when he sees you talking to Azul before history class. His blood is boiling coursing through his body like molten lava, heartbeat had quickened sounding like the march of card soldiers faster! His fingers are wrapped in fists by his side, knuckles turning as white as the white rabbit's fur. His posture is stiff, spin too straight shoulders pulled back until they're about to pop from their sockets. 

The redhead could barely stand the thought of you talking to his closets friends let alone the most conniving man in all of Night Raven! He's prepared to shut the whole thing down in a moment, ready to stomp over to Azul and rescue you from his web of lies. But then he hears it, those soul-shattering words. They stop him in his tracks, steal the life from his loins. He couldn't even believe his ear at first. Surely he was going mad! 

" I want to be free, as far away from Riddle and his stupid rules as possible! Please Mr. Ashengrotto won't you help me! I'll sign any contract, give you anything you deem a suitable price just please save me from Riddle!"

Riddle's heart is broken tears prick at the side of his dark blue eyes. Ready to tumble and fall. His mouth has gone dry stripped of all he was going to say. He wasn't your knight in shining armor no he was the beast that had abducted you, stolen you from those you loved. 

"Not to worry you poor unfortunate soul lose of freedom as a situation can be corrected, I simply need you to sign--"

Maybe it was the was what Azul said, made it was the adrenaline that was surging through his veins. Either way, Riddle screamed his voice cracking, lungs burning, yet he still screamed after you to stop! 

"Don't you dare sign that contract (y/n) Or it'll be off with your head!"

Your freeze finger floating in midair just millimeters away from the golden pen.  A heavy sigh leaves your lips, you knew you would never reach your freedom again but still, you tried and ended up with a broken heart. 

Riddle is quick to jog over to the two of you, his fingers grab your shoulder and push you back against his chest. He's trying so hard to look strong, to be the knight that you deserve. He doesn't want to show any weakness in front of Azul but he just can't wipe the heartache away. 

Riddle really wants you to love him, he's delusional thinking that making you follow all these rules will benefit you in the long run. He wants you to be safe and perfect to be a fit ruler by his side! But he also wants you to be happy and fall for him on your own accord. 

Riddle's reaction is pure heartache and heartbreak. He doesn't punish you, just some empty threats and words of advice (in the tone off ear-splitting shouts) The whole affair may actually make him nicer he'll try to give you a bit more freedom. He lets you outside more, sometimes even takes you somewhere off-campus. Sure he's always around in some way but from time to time he may "wander off" in the opposite direction and give you the relaxing semblance of being alone.

[stuckasmain]

Buffy season 1 review

So a lot of people have been pushing this show onto me for awhile now, partially a friend recently because they like spike and thought the show was good. I got Interested and all seven seasons are on Amazon so why not! Here we are. I’m going to do reviews like this as I finish each season, since I’ve finished season one today I’m putting this out now. Going to hit the big points so on so on

𝐍𝗼𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝗼𝐭 𝗼𝐟 𝐯𝐚𝗺𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝗼𝐫 𝐚 𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐫-

so surprisingly not a lot of vampires for a show about vampires, like yes they exist and yes they are the main bad’s. However it’s really more of a scooby doo meets sailor moon vibe? Figuring out who the monster of the week is and how to destroy it. Like STUDENTS POSSESSED BY HYENAS, invisible girl, horny puppet, literal demon etc. Like don’t take this as a complaint I kinda love it. The vampires and the master were always sort of a element but it’s mainly Buffy turning around , staking one , turning back around and being “ ok what’s up :)” and it’s a praying mantis as a substitute teacher, take a shot. I’m assuming it gets more vampire based later on in the show.

𝐂𝗼𝗺𝐞𝐝𝐲-

god tier. Like actually whitty clever comedy, banter, sarcasm, comments , something with brains?! I am ALL here for it like seriously I’m living for how sort of hysterical the show is. Like how in a few weeks Xander is just “yea ok what is it , let’s get this over with yada yada yada kill it” shsisjsoosos. Like the sarcasm, the clever jabs and the almost farcical way it is at times. It’s not only comments but sometimes physical and it’s neat. Again not to bring up Xander for a second time but his ‘porn star’ and ‘peep show’ shirts give me life! Buffy herself is kinda : what, like , it’s hard? Vibes. another factor is the kinda hysterical romance mess up? So we got. Praying mantis woman, a vampire and a digital demon. Oh! And big scary computer lady.

𝐒𝐭𝗼𝐫𝐲, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐯𝐚𝗺𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝗺𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬-

so I kind of like how in the first episode Buffy was basically the comic of “girl born as a protagonist” who does everything in her power to ignore it. The storyline is extremely basic at the moment, mainly just that there is a slayer and then it’s again Scooby doo monster of the week. I LOVE how the schools not just shut down from how many kids go missing and die constantly.

the vampires themselves, very classic easy weakness sort of deal, and I love the vibes. How they look EXTREMELY similar to the lost boys vampires except more wrinkles, less detailed eyes and their fangs are back to their canines. Tho they get defeated as easily as video game zombies.

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬-

Buffy: I expected her to be that super Mary Sue type and kind of to hate her, while she does instantly have powers and have the whole ‘everyone either loves or hates her’ element. She is actually a good character? Like the whole want to be a regular 16 year old girl clashing with destiny deal.

Willow: sweet baby nerd girl I adore her, next?

Xander: Hyena boy (it was one episode and I LOVED it and I keep calling him this-) I adore him he is everything. Mr. Awkward wearing a porn star t-shirt. Seriously we don’t deserve him , his dedication or his sarcasm. Also his strange fear of Nazis and his constant jokes about them??? Go off.

Giles: my soul, god I love him way to much. Idk what it is about total nerds. He’s such a sweet dorky father figure of a man and I love him so much. I also like how he’s so violently British- the mans name is Rupert. Rupert.

Angel: the pretty boy, the obvious vampire. Honestly he kinda disappointed me? You can tell there is so much more there but he just doesn’t stay long enough, even in the episode they info dumped on him. Oh so he used to be cool and now he’s Edward Cullen? Ok , anything else? I’m just waiting for mr brooding to do something. Cmon pretty boy, you’ve got so much potential.

Cordelia: HATED her until she literally bit a vampire back. Queen lmao.

𝐭𝐡𝗼𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬-

Over all the first season is VERY 90s and dated but I mean this in the best way. It was formulaic and super fun. I honestly am so excited about the next season, it’s gotten to where all my thoughts are gone to me just wanting to watch the show again.

[popsiclemania]

My 2020 in K dramas (+1 J drama)

I began watching k-dramas in 2018 but I’ve never watched as many shows, Korean or otherwise, as I have in this one. 2020 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. I think what helps me really enjoy this over Bollywood+Malayalam+ American pop culture I grew up with is that a smirk on the wrong character’s face doesn’t make me seethe with rage and want to burn everything down. It’s not like growing up with SRK on screen and then having SRK wannabes leave you with lifelong trauma in reality. I can just move on. It’s removed enough from my everyday life but still familiar in a generic Asian family way. Does that make sense? It’s not perfect and it’s not free of its own harmful stereotypes and narratives, but there’s enough of the good stuff to make you stick around. This year I fell in love with Nana, Kim Hye Soo, Han Yeri, Park Eun bin, Ahn Eun jin, Kim Bum, Kim Yong ji, Flower Boy’s Go Dok Mi and Search:WWW’s Bae Tami. Cancelled Ji Chang wook (bye). Desperately missed Kim Jae Wook. Had thoughts on Hwang In Yeop, which were mostly heart eyes. Discovered J dramas and fell in love with Cherry Magic’s Adachi.

My year-in-review below:

LOVED

Into The Ring - I am so glad I saved this for a rainy day because it’s exactly the kind of upright citizen shenanigans my unemployed ass needed at the end of the year.

Goo Se Ra thinks the govt should work for the people but that doesn’t mean her own moral compass always points north. Her purpose is to make steady money, and I love seeing her go hard to survive and cobble together what she needs. The thing that really works for me is that she wants to be good, but she isn’t always. And you get to see her be disappointed, upset, embarrassed and hurt from being publicly kicked in the gut as she navigates a job where she appears, on the surface, to be a supremely confident, self-serving, accidental politician. What you see as her naiveté is mostly just her being a regular person in an environment dictated by backhand deals and rich people politics. She gets hit again and again, and you see what it does to her sense of worth to get back up again, how she grapples with her self. And through all this the show is funny?! Se Ra is what writers of manic pixie characters think they are doing and not doing at all. Love her friends, and Jang Hye-jin is *chef’s kiss*!

Hyena - Kim Hye Soo’s Jung Geum Ja is perhaps Se Ra’s older and darker contemporary.  Geum Ja is a survivor and will get what she wants and where she wants to, however many hells she has to cross. She’s single-minded about her success, ruthless and has no qualms about bending morals to get the outcome she needs. She’ll never compromise on who she is or justify how she lives, can build people up and also tear them down, but she also knows care and kindness.

I turned to Signal for more Kim Hye Soo but was disappointed in how the first few episodes seemed to shortchange her. May try again in 2021.

(Highly recommend @saltr0se​’s  fic series which just GETS Geum Ja so well. Fic writers are the best)

Search: WWW (Finished in 2020) - It took me half a year to finish this. I started watching Search in Oct 2019 and raced through the first 6 episodes because I couldn’t take my eyes off the rollercoaster of Bae Tami’s life. And then I had to take a break because it was a little too close to the frenetic pace of my own industry. As @drivingsideways wrote, a lot of Search is premised around ‘patriarchy? who dat?’, which is why watching its politics play out is so fascinating.  It’s also deliciously turmoil-y to watch a very clear-sighted, weathered Tami put on rose-tinted glasses for her romance and then frequently peer over them to evaluate whether it could actually meld into her life.

Catch The Ghost - Kim Seonho oozes charm and perhaps Startup was a showcase of how effectively he can be a typical male lead. But Catch is exactly not that. Go Jiseok and Yoo Ryeong have moulded their lives around to meet their most desperate wishes in life and in the process also left parts of themselves untended. There is guilt, pain and need. Now guess who will tend to whose wounds? Their dynamic is electric even when the central mystery flags towards the last few episodes of the show. I really hope Moon Geun Young is doing well and gets more amazing roles soon. She is so good here.

(Highly recommend @melonatures​‘s fic for putting that sizzling on-screen chemistry into words. HOW?!) Cherry Magic - Stories about painfully awkward people are my jam and Eiji Akaso gets Adachi’s shy, nervy energy so right. Cherry Magic is straight up just 12 hours of 🥺🥺🥺. 

Stranger/Secret Forest - I’ve been devouring the entirety of Agatha Christie’s work this year after Stranger reminded me how comforting murder mysteries can be. I love Bae Doona. I also love characters who don’t get social norms, not always because they are out to flout them but because that’s just not how their mind/brain works. (have to watch S2)

Flower Boy Next Door -  Honestly, the opening scene introducing Park Shin Hye’s character Go Deok Mi sold me on this immediately. An introverted, penny pinching copy editor living alone and working from home thanks to extreme social anxiety? Love. All the side characters are a lot of fun and I’ve never loved Kim Seulgi and Go Kyung Pyo more. It’s a warm show, slowly rounding off the sharp edges of every character.

JUST FUN

The Spies Who Loved Me -  It’s been a year of disappointing rom-coms and Spies kind of quietly turned it around for me. I want to be the fly on Yoo In Na’s wall as she figures how to play her characters. I’ve only seen her in 3 roles but somehow she always manages to be in character arcs that don’t short change her. Spies could’ve been and sometimes is the regular heterosexual fare, but In Na ups the ante over and over again, coming out on top as the smartest person in the room.

ENJOYED WITH *RESERVATIONS*

I have to watch A Piece Of Your Mind again because I don’t understand how Jung Hae In and Chae Soo bin built SO MUCH warmth and crackling chemistry with barely a kiss. I was iffy about how the whole AI thing started off and the tortured musician plotline (angsty male artists will forever be an eyeroll for me).

Park Min Young is a queen who never disappoints and When The Weather Is Nice is everything you want in a winter romance. My reservation was in how they explore so much of domestic abuse and the complex ways its traumatised the women in this family. I’m ok with the characters having imperfect ways of processing and understanding the violence, I welcome it. I’m not ok with the show dancing around whether the pivotal crime was justified/ self defence (it was).

A lot of dramas did this. I loved Han Yeri and Choo Ja Hyun in My Unfamiliar Family, I didn’t like the free pass the show gave their dad’s abusive character. 

Hwang Jung Eum’s comedy style is generally not my thing but she was pretty great in Mystic Pop-UP Bar. But I’m side-eyeing the sanctity surrounding motherhood. Maybe I should read more about babies and Korean folklore.

Hospital Playlist was my comfort watch through June and July. I think its wholesomeness and non-plot writing came at a good time for me. But I noticed then that the throughline for all main characters was moral superiority and hence what I then saw as *wholesomeness*. It’s kind of what makes it a grating rewatch in parts. Plus the real life of misogyny of Yoo Yeon Seok makes me want to push his angelic catholic character off a cliff. (For context, i was raised catholic). I want to continue loving Chae Song Hwa, and for that the showrunners need to stop cornering her with overbearing romantic interests (let that woman breathe! she literally ran away to another city!) 

Hospital is good at creating moments of comfort, so much so that I went to watch Reply 1988 after it, but had to drop it coz I couldn’t get into it. Maybe I’ll come back to it next year.

Once Again is what I call joint family propaganda. What it does well is lay bare the mechanics of living in a society that prizes the heterosexual family structure, the loops you have to jump through to hide when you break its rules and what happens when you are found out. I love the characters, their fights, their frustrations. I just don’t love the validation of joint families. (context: i grew up in an oppressive joint family lol). In my au, Nahee and Gyujin don’t get married again or immediately have children, but take the long route to figuring out how to love the person the other is. Gahee is openly dating Hyo shin and her parents have to figure out how to process her success and her romance. Young dal and Ok boon have to learn to stop dictating their children’s lives.  Joon sun runs his company from home, so his wife Hyun kyung can work on what she wants. Choyeon, Joori and Ga-yeon go back to being flamboyant AF and the market learns to not judge. Gyujin and Jaesok have to actually work on the relationship with their mother and what sent her into depression. Just a lot of learning involved.

Just Between Lovers was a nice watch, i just don’t get how Kang doo and Ha Moon So’s relationship will survive his constantly simmering anger. 

Crash Landing on You was so much fun until the main romance turned angsty, but it gave us North Korean soldier shenanigans and the epic romance of Seo Dan and Alberto Gu that we needed more of.

Tale of The Nine Tailed is probably what Goblin wished it was. I, however, will never be over Lee Rang. (Also, when can gods stop meeting their love interests as babies? Asking for my sanity)

I literally ignored everything in Oh My Ghost except Park Bo Young and Kim Seulgi and it was amazing. 

NOPE

Goblin, Dinner Mate, Oh My Baby and My Secret Romance were a whole lot of NO, NAHI, ILLAAA. 

I loved hate-watching The King:Eternal Monarch with the rest of k drama tumblr but someone please take away Kim Eun-sook’s access to gigantic budgets and all-star casts.

It was painful to watch Do You Like Brahms squander away its potential but I’m glad to be introduced to Park Eun bin. Age of Youth is next on watchlist.

More than Friends to me is only Ahn Eun jin. Someone give her amazing lead roles asap.

Why did Record of Youth do that to Park So Dam and her clothes? Just why

WANTED TO WATCH, BUT COULDN’T BECAUSE *INTENSE* 

World Of The Married, It’s Okay Not To Be Okay, Sweet Home, Extracurricular, Penthouse, Flower of Evil, Lie After Lie

WILL WATCH NEXT YEAR

SF8, Stove League, Birth Care Centre but I’ll start the new year with School Nurse Files coz it looks very good.

[yourdeepestfathoms]

when you’re gone i’ll still be Bloody Mary

oof everything but the fight isn’t my best and you can tell i got bored and started rushing at the end BUT!! here is today’s fic! i hope it makes you mad!

Title from Bloody Mary by Lady Gaga

Word count: 5024

TW: Violence, blood, asphyxiation

———————

For better or for worse, the kids were alive and well again, and ever since then, the queens have changed. Everyone has noticed it- the sudden shift in behavior and attitude caught a lot of attention. Suddenly, they lost all their personality and just became a slave to the maternal mentality that awakens in their brains at the sight of their children.

First, there was Anne and Elizabeth. They didn’t look alike at all- Anne with her chocolate brown hair done in spacebuns and Elizabeth looking as if she was Merida from Brave- but they shared a similar gremlin-like gene. Anne was probably the least overbearing with her motherly attitude- she was still very much caring and loving, but she gave her daughter space and let her do whatever she wanted...which wasn’t exactly a good thing. Elizabeth had way too much freedom, especially towards Maggie, who would always get very quiet when the girl came around her. But Maggie tried, tried to be happy to see the girl again, and tried to be happy for her best friend, but her smile was very tight and forced, and pain would always flicker in her eyes whenever she saw the two together. She was dreading the worst- waiting for the sword hanging over Anne’s head to finally fall again.

Then there was Jane and Edward. Unlike her predecessor, Jane was extremely overbearing with the whole mum thing. She was always checking on her son, making sure he was happy and that everything was okay, and she pampered him constantly. Somehow, Edward didn’t seem to mind at all. He was basically living in the lap of luxury. Not even Kitty was bothered by this! She was just happy to finally get to be the big sibling in the family.

Thirdly, and most surprising, there was Cathy and Mae. The toddler actually appearing was a huge shocker to everyone, especially Cathy, but she took up responsibility for her daughter very quickly. She was very patient with the little girl, unlike Bessie, who had to leave the room whenever Mae would cry or even simply just giggle. Every time this happened, Cathy’s rage built up a little higher. It wouldn’t be long until she finally blew her top.

Finally, there was Aragon and Mary. It was easy to know that they were related; Mary seemed to get everything from her mouth when it came to looks- skin tone, eyes, hair, height, jawline, nose. However, there was one thing Mary inherited from her father: his bloodlust. Aragon, of course, didn’t acknowledge what her daughter had done at all. She was sheltering her mind from the crime, pretending it doesn’t exist because, to her, it didn’t if nobody brought it up. So nobody did.

Seeing all the kids was weird again, but Mary was by far the strangest, or at least to Joan. Mary appeared to be sixteen, maybe fifteen, so it was odd seeing her younger than Joan, but Joan pushed that aside and just tried to befriend the girl. After all, they had a common interest- having Aragon as a mother. Or, well, mother figure in Joan’s case. It wasn’t official yet.

“Hey, Mary!”

After everything was settled with the kid’s arrival was when Joan decided to make her move. She didn’t want to hold out much longer or it may seem impolite of her.

Mary turned to Joan, and Joan got a sudden bad feeling as she approached her further, like she was a sheep walking right into the den of a hungry hyena.

And now that it was mentioned, Mary kinda did look like a hyena. If Joan concentrated enough, she could almost smell the pungent, rank scent of death that clung to the girl as it did to the scavengers.

“Uhh. Hey.” Mary said. She was looking at Joan as if she were a dirty peasant clambering into her throne room. “And you are...?”

“Joan.” Joan said. “I’m the music director and pianist. Aragon and I are friends!”

Mary squinted at Joan. “Are you sure? Mother doesn’t mention you.”

“Well- maybe not as a friend, per se.” Joan scuffed her foot against the ground, trying her best not to do a giddy little happy dance as she said, “She- well, she sees me as a daughter!”

Mary blinked.

And then she started laughing.

The image of a hyena floated back to the surface as she did so- her laugh is barking and shrill. It grates Joan’s ears like barbed claws or scorpion stingers.

“You?” Mary asked for confirmation.

Now slightly flustered, Joan nodded.

Mary laughed again.

“Oh, that is adorable!” She wiped her eyes with a slim finger that seemed more like a talon. “Seriously, that is just too cute! My mother! Being yours!” Another chortle.

“It’s true!” Joan squeaked. Her voice is pitching and wavering slightly, which doesn’t help her case at all.

“Oh, I’m sure it is,” Mary said. “In your dreams, maybe. Why would Mother ever want you as her daughter? What makes you so special?” She tilted her head at Joan, and Joan just managed by the skin of her teeth to not squirm under her gaze. It felt like the ex-princess was sizing her up....estimating how big the wooden stakes would need to be when she set her ablaze.

“I-”

“Actually,” Mary cut her off. “don’t answer that! No offense, but I don’t care.”

She swung around to leave, not giving Joan a chance to defend herself.

“Thanks for the laugh, June!”

She walked off, disappearing further into the theater and leaving Joan alone.

“...My name is Joan.”

———

It’s been five months since that first interaction, and Joan swore Mary had something against her. She always saw the girl glaring at her from a distance, like she was imagining how good her head would look on the end of a flaming torch.

It gave Joan the creeps, to say the least.

But it didn’t end there. Mary began to torment and taunt Joan constantly- whether it being teasing or purposely making her fuck up somehow, Mary tried to make Joan’s life a living hell. And when she tried to tell Aragon, the queen got mad. Like, really pissed off. Joan doesn’t tell her about the harassment anymore. Especially when she got terribly ill the next day.

The thought that Mary somehow poisoned her for snitching scares her even more.

What’s worse: Aragon was starting to spend a lot less time with Joan. That was natural, of course, but Joan’s jealousy just couldn’t handle it. Especially when it was Mary getting all the queen’s attention.

But what could she do? Aragon would never choose Mary over her.

———

The sound of her dressing room door shutting and the lock clicking snapped Joan out of her workaholic reverie. She snapped around and was startled to find Mary standing there, her hands pressed together and folded neatly against her stomach.

(Joan remembers something about the princess having several pregnancy issues. She wonders if those still exist within her after reincarnation, and if they’re the reason she’s so bitchy.)

“Can I help you?” Joan said impatiently. She didn’t have time or the coffee to deal with this right now- she had work to do.

“Yes, actually,” Mary said. She crossed the room in just a few quick strides; her movements were poised and confident- she knew what she was doing. “I just wanted to talk to you about Mother.”

“What about her?” Joan asked cautiously. Red flags are already going off in her head, if the fact that the ex-princess locked the door wasn’t enough to tell her that this situation seemed sketchy.

“Back off.”

“What?”

“Back off of Mother.” Mary said. Her voice is still languid and smooth, but there’s now an underlying firmness to it- a drop of poison in the honeyed words.

Joan didn’t know why she thought for even a split second that this was going to be a truce or an opportunity to finally make friends with the princess. She should have known she was walking right into Mary’s flaming claws.

“You know she never actually loved you, right?” Mary went on. “You didn’t believe it, did you? Be honest.”

Joan bit her tongue until she could taste blood. Her fingers clenched into fists, which Mary glanced at. The princess smirked.

“Of course you did.” She said. “I can’t blame you. You have nothing. Someone as meaningless and worthless as you has to cling to whatever they can get their hands on. It’s quite entertaining. Like dangling a carrot on a stick in front of you!”

“You’re lying,” Joan growled. She drove her fingernails into her palms even deeper until she felt the skin break open. “Aragon— She didn’t say that. She wouldn’t.”

“I’m not.” Mary said smoothly. “Why would I lie to you, Joan? You know I don’t care enough about you to do that. God, just standing here and talking to you makes me worry that I’m gonna get some of your desperation and neediness rubbed off on me!” She laughed like a hyena. It hurts Joan’s ears.

Joan can’t reply. She can’t do anything but sit there and take the insults hurled at her. She does, however, flinch back in her chair when Mary walks right up to her and gently cupped her cheek.

Her touch feels like fire.

“I have to thank you, though,” Mary crooned in a way a mother would when talking to their child, her voice like sickly sweet venom. “For taking care of my mother. But there’s no need anymore.” She pats Joan’s cheek. “There’s no use for you any longer. So why don’t you do us all a favor and just go crawl into the hole you came out of and die.”

Joan’s breath hitched slightly. She lowered her head so Mary couldn’t see the glisten in her eyes, but she knew she did from the sneer above her.

And that’s what made the rage bubble up.

Joan’s anger was not a hot, volcanic thing, but rather a cold, resentful feeling that ran in her blood for a long time. Her chest would turn icy and she suddenly couldn’t care about anyone else. Only justice for her broken self esteem.

She grabbed Mary by the wrist and yanked her hand off of her cheek. This startles the princess, who staggers back for a moment, then narrows her eyes. Her other hand comes around fast and slaps Joan hard across the face.

Like that, something in Joan’s brain sparked to life. An instinct she didn’t even know she had in her. It told her to fight.

( “We may be thieves, but we aren’t killers,” Her brother had once said. Ironically, he was sharpening an iron pick at the time. “But if you feel your life's on the line, Joan, you fight back. Whether you like it or not, to you, your life is the most important thing in this world. Not mine, not any of your friend’s, your own. You should protect it.”

“Where should I hit someone?” Joan had asked. She remembered shifting anxiously after asking it.

Her brother thought for a moment, tapping the pointy pick against his chin. Then, he smiled.

“The knees or stomach. Then get them in the jaw to incapacitate them. Your nails and teeth are also your greatest allies.” His eyes went dark for a moment. “But...if you fear they’re trying to kill you, then go for the throat and don’t let go.”)

Mary didn’t see Joan coming, even when glowering right at her. She hadn’t been expecting her prey to spring out of the chair and barrel into her at full speed, but here she was, being driven back against the nearby makeup table, watching tabletop items scatter and clatter in various directions in slow motion, before senses returned to her in a flash and she felt the sparks that shot up her and alerted her brain of the threat.

Joan had her hands on Mary’s shoulders and one knee wedged between her legs, the plated bone pressing uncomfortably against the sensitive bundle of nerves her thighs would usually shield from harm. She pushed backwards, causing Mary’s back to bend against the table edge in a way that made it feel like her spine would snap if she didn’t get away quickly.

The princess squirmed, then finally got her arms free. She shoved against Joan’s chest, which caused her to stumble back slightly. It was enough of a chance for Mary, as she took her turn to do the ramming.

Both girls collapsed to the floor in a wondrous heap, where they tousled like angry cats. It was an awkward, but deadly dance they did on the floor until they ripped away and scuttled away for air. Scratches gleamed red and pink on their sweaty faces, like they just got into a fight with a sentient knife and lost. Bits of blood and flecks of skin cling beneath their nails.

“So you do have some fight in you,” Mary panted. If she was trying to make Joan angrier, it was definitely working. “I’m impressed.”

“I don’t quite appreciate compliments from murderers.” Joan grit.

Something flashed in Mary’s eyes- guilt? Terror? Trauma? For a split second, she almost looked like she felt bad for what she had done and what she was doing now. Joan could almost see a girl in there who felt guilty about everything, and who maybe understood why it had been wrong.

But that girl was never going to be the one anyone saw.

“I am not!” Mary shrilled. “I was saving my people from those—those leeches!”

“Saving them?” Joan scoffed. She struggles to her feet, feeling the scratches scattered across her body lighting up with fresh pain. “Is that what you call burning their friends to death?”

Mary bared her teeth. Joan flashes her own right back.

“Shut up!” Mary snapped. “You weren’t there, so you have no idea what I had to do or why I had to do it!”

“Why are you acting like this?” Joan said. “You have another chance! You can redeem yourself! Why are you wasting it by acting like such a bitch?!”

Mary lunged at Joan. Joan sidestepped just in time to avoid being rammed, but Mary moved again, too. She whipped around and drove her fist into Joan’s stomach.

All the breath in Joan’s lungs left her in a whoosh and a spray of saliva droplets that splattered onto Mary’s yellow-and-violet striped shirt. She staggered backwards, snaking her arms around her aching stomach tightly, and her knees buckled underneath her.

She’s had the wind knocked out of her more than once and she knew that in a few moments, she’d be fine again—or as fine as someone who’d just been socked in the gut could possibly be—but this wasn’t exactly the kind of situation where she had moments to spare for breath-catching.

And on top of that, the human body had a tendency to freak out when it couldn’t breathe. Like, a lot.

She choked and spluttered, mouthing like a fish out of water as she tried to pull air into lungs that just weren’t ready to get back on their feet yet. Through the oxygen-deprived haze that was covering her vision, she saw Mary’s bloodthirsty expression return to confidence, like Joan’s struggle for air sated her hunger for suffering for now. But it would be back.

It was only really then that Joan realized what she had gotten herself into.

Joan knew that she wasn’t going to get away from this bitch if she relied completely on pure strength. Mary was taller and stronger than she was, plus she was fueled by insanity, which seemed to supply her with an endless stream of energy. She wasn’t knowledgeable in combat by any means, but if Lara Croft has taught her anything, it’s that you need to use tactics.

That thought of a possible plan was cut short, however, when Mary knocked her to the ground.

Pain rattled up Joan’s spine when she hit the floor. Fingers close around her throat; Mary was on her. Her hips are straddled and she’s pinned to the floor. She was being choked. She could feel the princess’ thumbs press down on her airways.

“Stop struggling!” Mary growled. “Just let it take you.”

Joan gags helplessly, clawing at the fingers around her throat. Even when she scratches Mary’s hands to bloodied shreds, she still doesn’t let go. She tries to gouge the princess’ eyes out, but her eyelids prove to be a strong barrier above the sockets, which she so desperately wanted to sink her nails into. Mary wrings her neck when she doesn’t stop and Joan choked, feeling pops and crackles shooting down her spinal cord.

“There we go...” Mary cooed when she saw Joan’s head flop to the side. She was still gasping like a fish out of water, but it wouldn’t be long, now. “Good girl.” She spoke to the music director as if she were a dog or one of her dead babies. “Such a good girl...”

Joan made a pathetic squeaking wheeze, which made Mary croon down at her alarmingly blue face pitifully.

“I would stroke your hair to help you along if I could,” Mary said. “But I can’t. I have to say, though, you are very obedient. Well trained. You make it too easy!”

Joan’s eyes were starting to roll back into her skull. Her tongue lolls out of her mouth, suddenly feeling like a block of heavy lead. The ice in her veins is smothered by Mary’s fire. It lights in her chest and incinerates her lungs to smoldering ashes. Her throat is being burned open from the princess’ burning touch.

This was it. She was about to die. In just a few moments, Joan’s strength would deplete, her neck would snap, and she would be just another body on Mary’s growing pile.

Then, it would all be over.

Cinders are stoked through all of Joan’s nerves, numbing them in a terrible, blistering way and rendering them useless. Her arms now lie outstretched, sprawled aimlessly across the floor. There, her fingers twitch against something.

Mary began to twist Joan’s neck back in a sickening, horrible way. She keeps her victim’s throat wrenched and was just about to snap it like she would a little bird when something sharp and pointy is stabbed into her lower stomach.

Mary shouts as zigzags of pain shot through her abdomen. She ripped her hands back to instinctively shield her stomach, as if she thought there may be a baby in her womb that she needed to protect. Instead, she just found a large thumbtack sticking out of her belly.

“You bitch!!” Mary shrieked at Joan, who was struggling to catch her breath.

She pulled the thumbtack out with a small squeak and her eyes widened at the sight of the glistening red blood that coated the tip.

Like before, a very guilty person appears in her eyes, and even on her face this time. She watched her blood slide down the length of the needle and drip off in thick droplets.

Drip, drip, drip...

Joan reared up like a furious ram, horns gleaming in the fluorescent lights, and slammed her entire body into Mary.

They both go down, but there’s a lot less scratching this time. Mary is jarred out of her trance and is momentarily stunned because of it. Joan lands sprawled on top of her, out of breath from that small effort alone. Her lungs and trachea just weren’t ready for that much action yet.

Still. She didn’t have any time to wait around, even as black spots fluttered across her vision each time she simply took a breath.

So, the one little part of her brain that was smarter than the rest of it was, the part that only seemed to awaken when she was in immediate danger or dying, spontaneously came back to life and drifted in over the panicked alarm bells in her head like the calm voice of the pilot’s intercom over the clamor of a falling plane full of hysterical passengers.

It was her brother’s voice.

“Joan. Do you know how much bacteria is in a human bite?”

She blinked her eyes.

Well. He wasn’t wrong.

“OWWW!!!” Mary howled as Joan clamped her teeth down on her ear. She could feel the incisors grinding against the earlobe and her golden hoop earring shifting uncomfortably. “What the FUCK?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

Even in her pained and oxygen deprived daze, even when she couldn’t take in any air as she bites down, even as someone else’s blood seeped into her mouth, Joan still managed a small smirk.

Bet you've never got your ear bitten before, She thought. Bitch.

Mary keened in pain, smothering her face against the tile floor. She couldn’t do anything but writhe with Joan on top of her. But it’s clear Joan was getting a little cocky and that she seemed to forget how clever psychopaths really were.

Not that a tabletop mirror lying nearby made Mary clever.

The entire right side of Joan’s head exploded into bright, colorful bursts of pain as the mirror smashed against it. The glass shattered and shards are driven into her scalp. Joan swayed and then slumped over, and Mary gave her the shove she needed to fully topple to the ground.

Mary scampered backwards and then gingerly felt her ear. It was bloody and already starting to swell up. Her earring was missing, too, leaving her earlobe split in two.

Silence filled the ransacked room- aside from Joan’s moans and raspy breathing, of course.

Then, Mary laughed.

“So what if I killed a few people?” She said as she shakily rose up to her feet. “Some people have to die for others to thrive! I was just…trimming out the fat! Culling the weak! It’s what you have to do to survive in this world.”

Joan just barely managed to look up at her. There’s twin streams of blood running down one side of her face. One crosses over her eye.

“Let me put it like this,” Mary said, sensing her disbelief. “Say you and the other ladies in waiting and queens were in...the apocalypse. Alright? And there’s a group of people who want to take this food supply you found. They’re innocent, but they’re not backing down and you and your group are starving. So...” She twirled her wrist. “You do what you need to do to survive and keep those of greater value alive.”

Joan shook her head as she braced herself on her arms. Her elbows shake treacherously, barely holding her up.

“You don’t...” She wheezed out. Consciousness wavered away from her for a moment. She thought she heard the doorknob wiggle, but it was just nothing. “You can’t...think...like that.” She finally said, each word punctuated with a wince, moan, or heavy gasp. “It’s not...right...”

“If you haven’t noticed, dear, nothing is right in this world. Not anymore.” Mary said.

“No thanks...to you,” Joan grit, and then was delivered a teeth-shattering blow to her jaw.

Mary stood over the girl. She lifts the leg she used to kick Joan with and stepped on her stomach. Bending the knee, the princess applied all her pressure onto Joan’s midriff, weighing her to the ground.

“Joey, this hurts me as much as it hurts you.” She said in that crooning, hyena voice of hers. “But you have to make sacrifices sometimes. You’re just dragging everyone here down. Nobody even looks at you anymore. I’m doing you a favor by putting you down.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Joan spat.

She lifted her head and Mary struck as fast as a bullwhip, pressing it back down to the ground.

“Don’t talk over me!” Mary snapped, her pitch raising slightly. She cleared her throat. “Everything will be fine. You’re just a little blind right now. I’m helping you!”

“That’s what they all say,” Joan gurgled. “But you’ll probably get all wrapped up in killing all over again and burn the whole theater to the ground, you fucking pyro. You’d love to watch this place go up in flames and then you’ll dance on the ashes while listening to the screams of-”

“I said to not talk over me!” Mary yelled, reaching down and digging her fingernails into the red hot crevices on the back of Joan’s head. She watches in amusement as blood comes frothing out of Joan’s mouth, which is hanging open in a silent scream.

Some of that blood sprays out slightly when her lips move to form words.

“I know...your reign...smelled like...burned flesh.” She hissed out.

Mary’s mouth pulled back in a snarl.

“You don’t know anything!”

She drops Joan’s head and steps back, letting her writhe on the floor like a stabbed snake. Then, she pulls a lighter out of her pocket and runs her thumb over the smooth sides as if she thought doing such an action would calm her.

“You barely even know me.” She growled. “Nobody does! People look at me like I’m some sort of demon! Do you know what that is like?”

“It’s what you deserve,” Joan croaked. “Because you are one.”

Mary’s eyes flash. Something in her head has cracked open and every bad thing in her twisted brain is now spilling out like thousands of spiders.

“You know, I was just messing with you before. I wasn’t actually going to let you choke to death.” She said. “But now? Now I’m going to fucking kill you.” She flicked the lighter open and watched the small flame burst to life. “And when I’m done, nobody is ever going to find you.”

Mary leaned down, holding the flame dangerously close to one of Joan’s cloudy eyes.

“Any last words?”

Joan’s last words aren’t really words, per se, rather a mouthful of blood she spits in Mary’s eyes.

The princess reared back in surprise and claws her face as if she thought she had been sprayed with acid. That’s enough for Joan to gather all her strength, draw her legs back, and then drive her foot right into Mary’s knees.

Watching the princess crumple and fall like a broken doll was the highlight of Joan’s entire day. She couldn’t celebrate, though, because she knew Mary would be getting up soon, so she scrambled over to the broken tabletop mirror, raised it over her head, and—

The door flew open.

A scream.

Several screams.

There’s a whizz of gold- Aragon is rushing in. But not towards Joan, who is substantially the more injured one of the two. No, instead, she’s shoved roughly to the side and that’s finally what her conscious needed to cut out.

———

Joan awoke to blinding pain. She was moaning before she could even get her eyes open, which were much heavier than they normally were. She tried to pry them open, but that effort alone nearly made her pass out again. A muddled voice speaks to her...she thinks it’s telling her to calm down.

Something stings against Joan’s head. She whimpers sharply and tries to squirm away, but she can’t move.

“Hey. Sit still.”

Joan moaned again. She can taste copper on her tongue. It makes her stomach churn.

“Joan. Please sit still.”

Her eyes open. Light stabs into them, but she manages to make out the figure of Anne sitting beside her. She blinks dazedly at the woman.

“A...Anne...?” She croaked. Her throat hurt so much. Every word seemed to make it cave in on itself until she felt like she was choking on the syllables and enunciation.

“Hush.” Anne said. There wasn’t even a flicker of goofiness in her at that moment- her face was completely stoney and serious. “Don’t speak.”

“Wh...what...” Joan spoke anyway.

“I said, don’t talk, Joan. You’re hurt.” Anne said. “I shouldn’t even be doing this after what you did, but—”

Her voice cut off. Joan blinked up at her and saw that she’s staring at her neck.

Anne gagged. Joan’s eyes widen in alarm as the woman sprints out of the room with one hand over her mouth. She waits, but Anne does not come back.

Joan rolled off of the couch she’s lying on, recognizing the room she’s in as the shared dressing room between Cathy, Jane, and Kitty. She staggered over to the mirror, feeling like her head was about to explode with every step she took, and looked at what exactly made Anne feel so sick:

The dark, near-black bruise that encircled the entirety of her neck in the horrifying shape of hands.

—

Joan didn’t know how long she laid on that couch, feeling like her brain was oozing out through every orifice. In reality, it was probably only thirty minutes, but it was like an eternity to her before Aragon walked in.

Joan tensed, flinched, and waited to be hit or arrested by a swarm of cops that had been called, but Aragon just sits beside her head. She’s only glanced at for a moment.

“Elizabeth told me everything.” Aragon said grimly. “What Mary said...and did.”

So Joan had heard someone outside the door.

“I...I’m sorry, Joan.” Aragon whispered. “I’m so sorry... I thought she would be good this time. If I just raised her right, then she wouldn’t be the same and everyone could forget about what she did, but...”

She looked down at Joan- at the horrible bruise around her throat. Her eyes filled with tears.

“Oh my god...” She whispered. It’s obvious she didn’t think the wounds were that bad. “Oh, Joan... Oh, my sweet baby girl...”

She covered her face with her hands and began to cry, but didn’t dare touch Joan. It’s like she was scared of hurting her, too.

Joan watched her mother figure weep before gathering her strength and crawling forward so she could rest her head in Aragon’s lap. The queen gasps softly in surprise and then wraps Joan in her arms, sort of forgetting to be gentle.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Aragon sobbed. “I’m so sorry! I-I didn’t know— I didn’t—”

Joan can’t speak, so she just nuzzles Aragon as best as she could.

“We’ll get you help, baby.” Aragon told her. “I’m going to call the police. Mary will never lay a finger on you again, I promise.”

“Mama...” Joan choked out, head spinning.

“I’m right here, sweet girl.” Aragon said as she dialed the emergency line.

“999, what’s your emergency?” The operator answered.

“Please, I need an ambulance.” Aragon begged. “My daughter was attacked.”

[kingmxfasa-a]

Okay, here are my notes on Act 1. This is gonna be mostly Mufasa-centric (sorry if you were expecting anything else from me).

Act 1:

-I can’t describe the Broadway staging of Circle of Life in any way that could possibly do it justice. Go watch it here if you haven’t already. I had a pretty good view of the animals (including the giant elephant) coming up the aisles from where I was sitting.

-In Mufasa and Scar’s confrontation, it looked like Mufasa was going to attack Scar when he made the “brains vs. brute strength” comment, but Zazu blocked his path--WTF? I get that stage and screen are different mediums and they probably thought they had to have Mufasa react to that line somehow instead of just standing there and glaring as Scar walks away, but still.

-There’s a funny joke I’d forgotten about that follows Zazu’s “one in every family” line: “I have a brother who tweets constantly.” xD

-The musical doesn’t have the scene where Simba wakes Mufasa up at the crack of dawn. It’s replaced by Grasslands Chant, which has the two of them walking between ensemble members dressed as grass, with Simba asking Mufasa questions like “Where are we going?,” “Why did we get up so early?,” “Are we there yet?,” etc. It’s a cool scene visually (the ensemble members as grass thing works much better than you’d expect), but I don’t really get the reasoning behind this change. It means we lose the only dialogue Mufasa and Sarabi have with each other AND the heartwrenching parallel between that scene and the scene where Simba finds Mufasa’s body.

-That said, Mufasa and Simba’s interaction at the top of Pride Rock was adorable. After the “There’s more to being king than getting your way all the time.”/”There’s more?”/”Simba!” exchange, Mufasa said “Come here” and put Simba in a playful headlock.

-There was also a moment where Simba pointed out some buzzards and said they looked creepy, and Mufasa replied that they were just doing what they were supposed to do. I really liked that, especially considering how scavengers are treated on The Lion Guard.

-I’m glad The Morning Report was cut from the show, but they also cut the whole pouncing lesson scene. When Mufasa and Simba meet up with Zazu, he immediately tells Mufasa there are hyenas in the Pridelands and Mufasa leaves to deal with them. Kind of disappointing.

-The Lioness Hunt scene is really cool and I get why it was added as a replacement for the bath scene, but when Simba told Nala they were going to a really cool place, the whole pride asked “So where is this really cool place?” instead of just Sarabi. Not sure what was up with that.

-I Just Can’t Wait to Be King is awesome onstage. I’d forgotten that at one point (I think it was after “This child is getting wildly out of wing”), Simba grabs the Zazu puppet and takes off with it, and when the song is over Zazu’s actor/puppeteer runs around the stage screaming “Where’s my bird?”

-Chow Down is easily the weakest song in the show. I’m not a fan of the musical’s portrayal of the hyenas in general--they’re a lot more over the top and comical than in the movie, which I get because, again, different mediums, but I still don’t care for it.

-Not sure if this was the actors’ choice or the director’s, but Mufasa and Simba shouted some of their lines at each other in their talk after Mufasa saves the cubs--specifically, the “I was just trying to be brave like you”/”I’m only brave when I have to be” exchange. No, no, no. In the movie, Simba’s clearly ashamed of himself and holding back tears when he says the line about trying to be brave, and Mufasa immediately softens. At no point do they shout at each other.

-But They Live in You was gorgeous. Mufasa had an amazing voice. Whoever’s idea it was to change the pronouns in He Lives in You and turn it into a solo for Mufasa is a genius.

-At one point during Be Prepared, disco music plays and the hyenas start break dancing. Uhh.

-One of my favorite changes from the movie is the added scene where Mufasa pretends to fire Zazu. Not just because of Zazu’s hilarious reaction (I’d forgotten the bit where the puppet ‘attacks’ the actor), but the good-natured teasing between them--”Oh, sire, your sense of humor never fails to abuse me”/”Sorry, Zazu, but sometimes I just can’t resist ruffling your feathers”--is very true to their dynamic in the movie. Almost makes up for the loss of the pouncing lesson scene. And I love the bit where they talk about Simba: Mufasa says he wants to encourage Simba’s curiosity, but worries about him rushing into danger without thinking, and Zazu reassures him by pointing out that Mufasa was similar to Simba as a cub (specifically, he describes him as “headstrong and always getting into scrapes”), but he turned out fine.

-The stampede was another brilliantly staged scene, but Simba’s reaction to Mufasa’s death felt a bit lacking. And as I said in an earlier post, a kid in the audience said “he did something bad!” at the moment it happened, so instead of crying I was kind of fighting the urge to laugh.

-Love the scene with Rafiki and the lionesses mourning Mufasa. I’d forgotten about Sarabi and Nala’s parts in Nao Tse Tsa. They missed the boat not giving Sarabi a solo where she mourns her husband and son, though.

[comfort-in-dissonance]

ramble 01

yes. here i am. writing a blog post.

its 2:38am, i just logged into this website for the first time in a couple years. some weird shit in my likes. my computer charger has broken so i’m unable to work on music. hence, my late night angst is going to be poured into this html. i’m almost entirely positive this blog post will never be read by anyone but me, i’ll come back to it in a few years when i feel nostalgic or somethin. i dunno...

startin off heavy i guess

nothin quite like living in a shitstorm of your own making. i dont know what it is that’s managed to send me into this state. at the moment my words fall flat or get caught in my throat, i can’t fall asleep, always running around in mental circles under the covers. after she left me i’ve felt progressively more isolated in every aspect of my life. its so fucked to grapple with that loss of trust in someone you love. its almost haunting the extent to which her actions, albeit unintentional, have rendered me a withdrawn wreck of nerves around anyone i’m even slightly interested in. constantly searching for the cracks in an often non-existent facade. still trying to rationalize whether i have reason to dislike her, to be with someone for a firm few months, someone you know loves you, then absent yourself from their lives. no word, nothing, just a vague mention of “anxiety” after weeks of torture. how convenient. you’d think the bitterness would go away after a few months. but no, instead of accepting her reason, i choose to torment myself with all the mistakes i made, the poorly timed jokes, all the shit i did that might have annoyed her. things she would have never told about due to her absolute aversion to a confrontation of any form. i wish i never met that girl, honestly. one of my closest friends is drifting away from me, yet i do nothing, every attempt i’ve made in the past has been met with a hard, cold face. not a good feeling. seems he can be an insensitive bastard when he feels like it too.

okay enough depressing shit

this last year i’ve had the distinct pleasure of acquainting myself with the joys of working in the service industry, kitchens, bars all that kinda shit. although i have an ingrained reflex to not appreciate being treated like a fully automated shitstain, it’s my pace that keeps me jumping between places of employment. the next person who yells “faster, emil!” at me i will stab through the stomach with a fishhook. also all bosses are vicious hyenas who should be put down, last one fired me over temporary facial scarring that i got while caught half asleep in a gas explosion, long story, maybe some other night. 

university should be a nice change of pace come september. the perfect opportunity to engage in coitus that will leave me as emotionally deprived as an urchin on a heroin comedown and engage in big brain activities such as reading and doing research. cannot wait to stroke my intellectual nuts as i throw big words i dont really understand at my family members on our soon to be highly irregular meetings (praise be to allah fuckin hell) to make them think that i’m getting a good education. living at home is pretty grim at the moment, whole of downstairs is being rented out so i feel like a stranger in the kitchen, creeping around to get food at some ungodly hour. cannot fuckin wait till september, i am going to SMOKE SO MANY CIGARETTES INDOORS WHEN I MOVE OUT.

off to rome with some of the fellas on friday. luckily i sorted this trip out when i was still in employment. already got some leads on where the hash is. cause fuck the colosseum,  im trying to smoke sub par morrocan hash in the 43 degree sunlight and drink moretti. also cheap tobacco makes for a good, healthy and long life. hopefully that will help provide me the motivation i need to actually do something with the rest of this summer. aka get a computer charger and finish this fucking album.

okay its like half three so im going to go and pretend to sleep but actually just listen to sade

[elfinchick]

My close shave with PTSD

I entered a competition last year where you had to write about a mental health issue.  It was not what they were looking for but I did receive the nicest rejection ever.  It took me a week to write it, and I spent the whole week sitting outside the Bull and Last near Parliament Hill, drinking numerous pots of tea and getting a vitamin D overdose.  As you read this, remember it happened to me and since writing it the problem on buses has pretty much gone, I guess I had to get it out there.  

30TH DECEMBER 1987

Narrator:       I don't know if I heard him or sensed him, but something made me turn around, I caught a glimpse of light where the street lamp hit his glasses as he leaned into the bushes to try and hide himself.  I turned away and carried on walking.  The next thing I felt was his hand go under my skirt, I heard someone screaming, it was me!  Don't believe all the bravado you learn in the self-defence classes, I knew it, they taught it to us at school and I had only left the year before. Believe me the only thing I was capable of doing was screaming and crying, I was in shock! 

There and then I had a choice, go back home, in the direction he had run off in or go to work, I chose the latter.  I tried to tell somebody, one of the receptionists, but she didn't believe me, yet all I could feel was his hand where it shouldn't have been. 

Walking back down the road I had travelled that morning I heard somebody behind me and turned, only to see another man.  Totally different from the person that morning but that didn’t matter, it was another man.

 Mind:             (Please no, not again no, No, not again No Please Not Again!!!!!!!) to be whispered over the above paragraph.

 Narrator:       The words ran around my head increasing in strength and speed only stopping when I stepped into the road to avoid him. My mum called the police, questioned me as to why I hadn’t come home, to which I replied I had to get to work, I had just focused on getting to work, on getting away.  I think she understood.

She sat there listening to what had happened that morning as the police wrote down my statement.  Whoever typed up my police statement must have thought I was crazy because I described him as running away like a chimpanzee and laughing like a hyena. Even now, as I look back, I see him doing that in the orange glow of the street lamps.  He had carried out twelve assaults by the time they caught him, he did one poor girl twice; with good behaviour he got three months for each one.  The police focused very specifically about what he had said, he didn’t say anything.  At the same time there was a rapist in the area up towards the right as I came out of my road, as opposed to the left, which was my normal route.  I think I had a lucky escape that day, but it didn’t prepare for what was to come years later.  Although it has lessened over the years I still constantly look behind me just in case somebody else is there waiting in the bushes.    

 Time passes, fast forward to a week or so before the Brixton nail bombing…

 Narrator:       Sitting on the bus on my way home from work somebody sits down next to me, nothing unusual in that, however as I looked up to the press the bell I saw the man who had come up behind me all those years ago.  As calmly as I could I asked to be excused to which he returned “It’s okay I am getting off at the next stop too. He just sat there, didn’t move and was totally oblivious to who I was and what he had done to me!  My mind went into free fall.

Mind:             (Oh no! Oh shit! Oh God, no please God No! Get me off this bus NOW!!!!!!) To be whispered over the paragraphs directly above and below.

 Narrator:       The speed with which the uncoiled snake of fear rose up was frightening, it was happening so fast. My thoughts of escape from this situation escalated like a speeding train, faster and faster, my flight or fight responses were arguing with themselves and turmoil raged!!! Yet he just sat there totally unaware of the fear and panic that was sitting beside him. How I didn’t push him off his seat and run I still don’t know!   A couple of hours later I was sitting on my kitchen floor in front of the radiator having just come off the phone to my best friend, tears continued to flow, I was alone with all those thoughts.  I couldn’t sleep, the fear and thoughts wouldn’t let me, if I did manage to fall asleep he was there in my dreams. When he appeared I woke up with a start and the thoughts returned, if they ever went away! 

 As it turned out he lived on the back of the same estate as me, in my head there was no escape and the no sleeping went on. I did go to the police to tell them but they couldn’t do anything as he was not physically harassing me, nobody can see the harassment that tortures your brain. The council couldn’t do anything without a police report!  My friends and family had places for me but not my dog and he was not negotiable so there I stayed living in the same place as him and yet he was still clueless! Some people suggested that I get some sleeping pills, I didn’t because I knew my mind wasn’t right, that it was very messed up. I did know I wanted to stop the thoughts and I had a bottle of vodka my boss at the time had given me the Christmas before, still unopened. I had planned what to do with my dog, he was well known, somebody would have taken him in.  All that was missing were the pills, which thankfully I didn’t get!  Please don’t think I wanted to die, I didn’t, I just wanted the thoughts to go away, I wanted to sleep soundly again.  I gave the bottle of vodka away a couple of years later, still unopened.

Mind:             (It will get better, this will pass, don’t stop, keep going, it will all be okay, this is just a blip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) To be whispered during the paragraph above.

 Narrator:       There is nothing like having a close shave to bring you some perspective.  On the day of the bombing in Brixton I was meeting my friend in Walthamstow.  I left early because I was so tired and I was supposed to be going to Brixton later that day. I was so exhausted that I stayed on the bus and went home.  I should have been in Brixton when the nail bomb went off!

  Another thing I did was to try and prove a point that he didn’t effect me at all.  I am not sure who it was I was trying to prove myself to, maybe me, maybe him or those around me to prove I was okay.  I stayed out until two or three in the morning at weekends, having toasted cheese sandwiches and pots of tea in the late night cafes that used to be in Greek Street in Soho.  My best friend went with me sometimes but sometimes I went alone!  This only lasted a few months, mainly for financial reasons, Soho was expensive even back then!

 After all these years, bearing in mind the actual assault took place 31 years ago, there is a side effect that still remains to this day and I do acknowledge it is irrational. If somebody comes and sits next to me on the bus and they are getting off at the same stop as me and they just sit there, the same panic starts to rise.  It doesn’t matter if they are a man, woman or child, young or old, it just uncoils itself and rises.  However, you will be pleased to know I haven’t pushed anyone off their seat! Yet!

[alliebruns-blog]

The Namibia/Panama Crossings Part Two: The Desert, Day 1.

DAY 1: Namibgrens to the Erongo region - 28.5 miles  (AKA ‘The Naivety of the British Runner EXPOSED’) 

I love 5.30 am starts, which is lucky because that’s basically the deal for the next week. Yes reader, 5.30am is a time. A real time. That people get up. 

Kit on and bags packed, and it’s off for breakfast for musli and yoghurt and then straight into the car for me and Darren. Jim and Danni get on their bikes for the first leg of the bike ride. They are starting 100km behind us. We will drive 100km to the edge of the desert and start the run there. We won’t see Jim, Pete and Danni for 2 days now. It’s emotional, but we deal with it. If they want to cheat it’s up to them. They have to live with that decision. And boy, does Jim live with it…. (TBC)

After an hour in the car we get to the edge of the Namib-Naukluft Park and the giant NO ENTRY sign. There’s a gate, but one of the team has left the key to the padlock at the office 200km away in Walvis Bay. So we do what we always do, and knock the fence down. We put it up again. It’s all good. The government said we could do it. What are the laws on guns here again? 

Seems legit.....

Darren and I have had a brief discussion about running together. It’s hard when you don't know someone that well - or when you do, and know that they are faster than you (which is what I know about Darren). I say 10 min miles are my jam, which they are for these longer back to backs and Darren agrees he can deal with that. I am talking about 10 min miles in the UK on trails in about 12 degrees. Our 10 min mile plan lasts just that. About 10 mins to a mile. 

We start running on a gravel path - it’s pretty runable, soft in places, and it’s a cool morning - cloudy and not too hot - so we manage about 6 miles in about an hour - a pretty good pace. With one support vehicle in front of us and one behind, we have access to our kit and fresh water and food pretty much all the time. It’s great! I am still running with a small pack and a bladder - I am obsessed with running out of water. 

First part of the day looks do-able....

We trot on through the never ending gravel plains and then, suddenly from nowhere there is a big group of animals running as a pack. They look like ponies BUT THEY ARE ZEBRAS! Wondrous mountain zebras, stampeding along and crossing in front of us. A literal Zebra crossing. Amazing. There are some big cats in the area, so we keep and eye out to see if it’s a chase, but don’t spot anything. Seeing these animal up close like that, just doing what they do is astonishing and we don't take it for granted. 

Zebra Crossing!!!!!

Also out on the plains that morning were Oryx’s - great big deer type creature with huge spiked horns and long fluffy tails. They’re very shy and they can run FAST. We also see a couple of little sidewinder snakes and some fun new crickets we’d not seen before. Our “taking photos of everything” habit is slowing our pace, so we try to crack on. 

Snake holes.....

New Pal......

We keep running, with more walk breaks now. It’s getting hotter - it’s becoming obvious that we can’t keep up a flat 10 min mile pace for the whole day. The clouds clear and the sun comes out with a vengance. It’s 9am and boiling. 

Our first hill appeared in front of us, a long, slow rising dune made of red sand. There’s a burnt car - the remains of a poachers vehicle left in the sand; a reminder not to break the rules. An eerie sight in a beautiful landscape. At the top of the hill we get our first view of the red dunes. And what fun they were. Soft and fluffy - these are the small guys - we power up them and speed down them.

Views..... (get used to this....)

As we cross, we also get our first high view of the desert sprawling in front of us. It was magical and terrifying. At the top of the hill, under a tree lay the remains of a Springbok, bleached white by the sun. Possibly left in the tree by the triumphant cat that caught it, with the carcass dropping as various animals made the most of a good meal. It was a very real reminder of what happens when you are left alone out here. 

That’s what dehydration can do to ya.....

Danny and David realised the ‘road’ they had plotted was now no longer passable, as the dunes had moved and were too soft to drive on. This was highly amusing for myself and Darren, who got to watch them attempt to get the cars up the new mega deep, fresh dunes. Those guys are some of the best drivers I have ever seen. What they do with those cars is MENTAL and they never (well barely ever) get it wrong. The tracks from the support trucks lead the way for us to run - but running IN the tracks of the cars is difficult - they make the sand soft and moveable. The tracks serve only to show us the way-ish - we can run alongside them or cut across plains. As long as we have the trucks in sight it’s cool. And losing them actually freaks you out a bit. 

We decide to run off road and do an explore - trotting over dunes in the general direction that Danny and David pointed us in while they sorted truckgate. This meant negotiating spiky bushes, snake holes. lizard guys, big cat prints and dunes, not necessarily in that order, in rising heat. We kept on pushing and pace was good for the terrain. Darren though he saw some ostriches but it because clear these were actually a steel posts. Heat brain was setting in. 

Spot the car.....

Lunch was served at about 14 miles, in a small makeshift tent that Danny, David and Johnny had erected on the path for us - cold water down the back and on the head, bread, meat, cheese and GERKINS YES GERKINS were on the menu. I took a second to take in what was actually happening here. A picnic in hell or heaven? I dunno. It was one of the best lunch spots I’ve ever stopped at though…..

Lunch - doesn’t look that hot. Was fucking boiling. 

After the refuel, we set off again. It was getting really tough now, with heat peaking in the late 30’s between 1 and 3pm and zero wind. It was also getting sandier, which sounds stupid when you consider where we are but it WAS getting sandier! Elevation was also on the up. It’s easy to decide  try and give everything to the run in these conditions, but I was constantly reminding myself that we had another 3 days of this and we had to respect the distance. Oh yeah, then we had a good 250-300km to do in Panama. We ran and marched through another 15 miles of beautiful but essentially non-descript hill dunes. We ran past a small dune filled with big holes, and out popped a desert jackal (possibly one of the cutest things on earth) He should have been asleep really, and he couldn’t believe his bulgy eyes. I imagined him running back down into the maze of tunnels to tell the other jackals what he’d seen outside and them saying “go back to sleep Dave, you’re drunk”. 

Hello little pal! 

Eventually we saw the trucks had stopped at the top of a huge dune - we were 28 miles in to what was supposed to be a 30 mile day and we were all knackered. Doing that distance is one thing, doing it in sand and heat, without a rest day after 24 hours travel is another. We decided as a team to add on the extra couple of miles to tomorrow and try an get out heads down for the night. At the top of the dune, we downed tools and took in the the view of the valley below. Zebras and oryx’s were grazing as the sun set. It was Lion King beautiful.

I’ve camped in worse spots.....

Tent life.....

Our crew set up camp as we dealt with the important issue of re-hydration with a beer, a sit down and foot check. The make-do camp shower looked out across the plains. The toilet took in some of the most beautiful views on earth. We were so lucky to be there. 

That night as we settled down for a bolognese dinner, an huge owl flew over camp and drew our attention to something larger sloping down the hill. To the amazement of Danny (who has been working in the desert for over 25 years) it was the extraordinarily rare brown mountain hyena. He was trotting down the dune towards camp. We could just about make out his distinctive shape and he was obviously curious about the smells and sounds. He had probably never seen human beings before.  It was mesmerising. In his 25 years Danny has only ever seen 4-5 of these creatures and we get him on the first night. I swore it was because I was a dog person, and hyena guy could tell. 

After dinner we sit round camp and chat and then it’s bed. First day done, feet looking good and bellies full. Onwards to day 2. 

TBC

[yandere-wishes]

Twisted Wonderland Ocs!

Genie: *Appears on stage* EEEYYY here we are with our new twisted wonderland yandere OCS

Beloveds: *Forced clapping* get help (no Genie this is not a marvel reference!!)  seriously just go get help. 

Genie: Before we start please note that all characters here, other than the two bachelors are not blood-related by any means. They do however share a surname. It's one that they came up with themselves. As well as sharing the characteristic of hyena ears. Without further, a dew lets meet our lovely bachelors and bachelorette!

Name: Luna Annamaria Carnivora Vivica Jessica Bucchi

Nicknames: Lun (everyone), Viv (Banzi) big sis (everyone), Jessie (Me) my dear (Leona).

Dorm: Savanclaw

Year: 3rd year

Twisted from: Shenzi from Lion King

Age: 20

DOB: November 18

Physical Appearance (I do not have a picture for them yet, so if anyone is up to draw them that would be great!) 

Luna has dark brown skin, usually littered with cuts and bruises. It's not rare to see her with a multitude of bandages and gazes covering up recent wounds. Large downturned grey/blue eyes with long lashes. She has a mole next to her left eye. Her raven-colored hair is straight and long, reaching and curling at past her lower back. Her bangs normally reach to slightly above her eyebrows. Her, built is rather lanky due to not receiving enough food on a daily bases. Her fingers are long with nails being covered as sharp claws able to cut skin. There is a slight limp in her right leg. 

Story

Luna was born into a middle-class family, with a father working as an architect and a housewife mother. Her childhood was typically a happy and normal one. Around the time she was thirteen her father was fired for an unknown reason, though it's highly suspected that he was selling information to another company. This left the family with a lot of debuts and no means of paying them. Seeing no other solution, Luna's mother sent her off to live with her aunt. Despite being a kind and even motherly figure to the young girl, Luna and her aunt never really saw eye to eye. Her aunt pushed her to seek a higher form of education, pushing her to her limits to get a multitude of different scholarships. By fourteen, she had an athletic scholarship to the top private academy of the pride lands (or where ever it is the savanclaw people come form). However as time went on, the young girl began to note a shift in her aunt's mood. The once lively women became reserved and almost shut off from the world around her. She seemed to be in her own universe, this lead to Luna having to take up almost all chores around the house. A few months later Luna overheard her aunt on the phone with her parents. Her aunt begged them to and collect luna, in which they declined, saying that they could not take care of another person. This broke Luna's heart and it's around this time that she began to neglect her studies and sneak out at nights. On one of her nightly escapes, she encountered two boys about the same age as her, named Brazium and Elysium  They were planning on sneaking into a club to do some pickpocketing. Intrigued the young girl hatched a plan to get them in. They later split their earings amongst themselves. This became a routine for the trio, hitting different bars and sometimes even school events at Luna's school. It was one of these nights that Luna came home to find polices at her aunt's house. The policemen told her that her aunt had overdosed on anti-depression and was found dead mere hours ago. Being/feeling abandoned for the second time, Luna took matters into her own hands. She was able to use whatever money her aunt had left to buy a small house in "the outlands" deciding she needed a pack to survive she invited Brazium and Elysium  to come live with her, they both obliged. For the next three years, the trio lived in the outlands, having become a sort of ruling family amongst the other residents. 

Personality 

Luna is rather bossy and snarky, usually following a "agree with me or suffer" kind of manner. She is extremely sarcastic and at times dramatic, facing any problem or opponent with an eye roll and comment. She is rather independent and never likes being told what to do. All this being said she is extremely possessive of anything she has, fearing that it will be taken from her. 

HC

She can play the piano as an angel

got into night raven due to being friends with Leona kingscholar

Was given a scholarship to med school, which she turned down for Night Raven. 

Could kill you with her glare

Has enough sarcasm to go toe to toe with Leona

Prefers to negotiate before starting a fight. 

Leona is her closest friend and she considers her a brother like the rest of her "siblings"

Is on bad terms with Lionel (see @edda-blattfe) 

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Name: Brazium Corbin Atilla Bucchi

Nicknames: *Insert degrading nickname here* (Leona and Luna), chalk eyes (Ruggie)  brain cell number 2 (Ruggie and Elysium )  the family screw up (everyone) Banz (Me) 

Dorm: Savanclaw

Year: 2nd year

Twisted from:  Banzai from Lion King

Age: 19

DOB: April 4th 

Physical Appearance (again still no picture)

Brazium has caramel-colored skin with a spinal cord tattoo over his actual spinal cord (Genie what the hell do you come up with?). His hair is a dark shadow like grey color, that is never kept properly and is always sticking in every direction. He usually wears heavy eye showdown around his teel eyes. His tongue and has a piercing which he gave himself using his father's tools when he was about thirteen. 

 Story 

Brazium and his younger twin Elysium were born into a rather poor family. Their dad owned a tattoo and piercing shop. Their mother was a nurse before she hopped out of the family. From a young age, the brothers learned to operate their father's tools and run the shop, they also learned how to steal and fight as another means of survival. Their dad did try raising them right and making sure they had a good education. by fourteen the boys had taken up pickpocketing in bars and a private school, thanks to their new friend luna. One night the boys were woken in the middle of the night to the police asking them to come over to the station. There they were shown a corps and asked if they recognized it. They did, seeing as how the corpse was their father's. The policeman told them that he had been hit by a car and that they were not able to find the driver. The boys later learned that it had been an aristocrat and that she'd been able to get away with it due to her hight nobility. After hearing the news Luna approached the two boys and asked if they wanted to move in with her. They agreed and for three years they lived as a family. Later on thanks to Elysium  another member would be added to them. 

Personality 

Brazium is short-tempered, aggressive and gluttonous. He mostly thinks with his fists and is quick to start fights. He will downright insult anyone going so far as to threaten them over measly things, such as pitty arguments. He is constantly complaining about one thing or another and has yet to answer the question "how are you" with a pleasant response. With all this said he does have a loving and joking sideshow only yo his family. When Ruggi was younger Brazium would always take him outside and find a means of entertaining him. He has the utmost respect for Shanzi and belives her to be the brains of the family. 

HC

He's great at boxing and martial arts, going toe to toe with Leona

He is a genius when it comes to languages 

He's fluent in pig-Latin, English, Swahili, French, Spanish, German and Japanese.

Was the first out of the four Bucchi siblings to ask about Leona's scar

Will do anything and everything for his family (Leona included) 

Is very superstitious

He loves slushies

got into night raven due to being friends with Leona kingscholar

does surprisingly well in potion making and has gained a bit of Divus’s respect

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Name: Elysium (El) Zayne Hani Bucchi

Nicknames: El (Everyone)  giggles (Ruggie) brian cell number one (Leona and Luna)

Dorm: Savanclaw

Year: 2nd year

Twisted from:  Ed from Lion King

Age: 19

DOB: April 4th

Physical Appearance (no picture)

El is typically described as having gentle features in contrast to his brother's rough appearance. His hair is practically as long as his sister's. Despite keeping his grey hair in a high ponytail there are still thin strands around his face. His skin is also a caramel-like color much like his brothers. He has two wing tattoos on both his shoulders along with a multitude of ear piercings. His eyes are lean and a lighter teal shade than his brothers.

Story

Elysium and his older twin Brazium were born into a rather poor family. Their dad owned a tattoo and piercing shop. Their mother was a nurse before she hopped out of the family. From a young age, the brothers learned to operate their father's tools and run the shop, they also learned how to steal and fight as another means of survival. Their dad did try raising them right and making sure they had a good education. by fourteen the boys had taken up pickpocketing in bars and a private school, thanks to their new friend Luna. One night the boys were woken in the middle of the night to the police asking them to come over to the station. There they were shown a corps and asked if they recognized it. They did, seeing as how the corpse was their father's. The policeman told them that he had been hit by a car and that they were not able to find the driver. The boys later learned that it had been an aristocrat and that she'd been able to get away with it due to her hight nobility. After hearing the news Luna approached the two boys and asked if they wanted to move in with her. One day while Elysium was walking around the outlands he spotted a young boy covered in blood. Murders were something normal in the area. El didn't think too much of it and tried to walk away, only to have the small boy follow him. He soon gave up and picked the kid and went home. Brazium and Luna weren't too happy with this but soon came to love the baby as one of their won. El took care of Ruggie the most since Shenzi usually had to work part-time jobs and Braziumwas in charge of meal prep and house chores. All was well until freaking Brazium lost Ruggie! (Genie: Banz how the hell does one lose a seven-year-old??!! Brazium: *shrugs and goes back to drinking his slushie*) It all turned out well in the end where they sorta ended up adopting Leona as well.

HC

El has a disability which prevents him from properly talking

This, however, doesn't stop him from having a keen eye and being able to solve certain problems quickly

He and Brazium tend to fight a lot, it's usually up to Luna and Ruggi to split them up. While Leona cheers them on from the couch or wherever.

I Sorta want to go sci-fi on him and give him a voice box or something IDK

Is secretly Ruggie's favorite sibling

Despite not being the most violent out of the Bucchi family he gets rather aggressive around the lions, blaming them for his father's death and Leona's suffering

Refuses to call Leona a Kingschola and insists that he is a Bucchi

Has received nothing but A in Ashton’s class

 His best friend in Night Raven is Kalim

Genie: Well that wraps but our show for tonight ladies and gentlemen! Their yandere personalities will be released at a later date, after the last "member" of the family is finished! Also a huge thanks to @edda-blattfe for helping me with all of this, love you lots darling!

Beloveds: No more, please no more! Go back to being a normal yandere blog, please. We will pay you to stop with the Twisted wonderland ocs!