#the issues is compulsive exercise

[butchlifeguard]

having kids would be great for me personally bc if im ever in a place to get pregnant ive gotten over The Issues

[equalperson]

sometimes I believe that My tendency to avoid telling My family when I'm having health issues is just the result of avoidant cognitive distortions, but then I actually do it, get told that it's "normal" and/or a lifestyle issue, and realize the real cognitive distortion was expecting help at all -_-

[backfliips]

As someone who admittedly has attention issues of my own, I think it's important to talk about how attention is a skill that can be learned and often requires conscious and focused effort to build. I think a lot of people despair over the current state of media --- short-form algorithm-driven content that is built to snare and lure and diminish people's attention spans for profit --- and while that despair is certainly built off of legitimate concerns, I want to stress that the damage being done is not irreversible.

Over the course of the COVID-19 lockdowns I fried my brain so intensely with tik toks and instagram reels that I was getting bored 2 seconds into a 5 second video and was finding myself scrolling so quickly that I wasn't even watching anymore. I was lethargic and unhappy and though my mood was definitely simultaneously impacted by the hovering doom of COVID-19 and living in complete isolation for months at a time (I don't recommend that, BTW), I found myself losing passion for the things I loved doing: drawing, reading, and writing. I felt miserable and useless and incredibly guilty for leaving my productive and fulfilling hobbies behind while I chased... not even happiness. Just something to occupy my brain and turn it into mush.

As time passed I realized that I wasn't even having fun on tik tok anymore. I'd see funny videos and get a rush of endorphins, and then the next second I would have completely forgotten what I just watched. I was refreshing social media pages to see numbers I didn't even care about. Everything was an endless loop of swapping between different apps, just time passing and passing and my attention span dipping lower and lower until I would go for days without feeling any sense of joy or accomplishment.

And this was most definitely aided by the fact that I was unemployed and stuck in a terrible worldwide epidemic, but as soon as I deleted the tik tok app and put harsh time limits on instagram (15 minutes a day, which I rationed compulsively) I suddenly wanted to draw again. I started reading books again. I started writing and spending time outside and getting inspiration from the world around me.

Now, years later, I work with teenagers whose lives are dictated by their phones. My coworkers often lament the state of the world today --- which, again, is a valid stance to have --- but in the few months after my workplace implemented a no phones policy, I watched disengaged students bounce back to productivity. Instead of scrolling during lectures they paid attention and asked questions and engaged their peers in conversation. During lunch they played board games and talked to each other. Students even told me about how they didn't even want to go on their phones when they got home from school!

It isn't perfect, and I'm not advocating for a world devoid of phones, but I just want to highlight that these neural pathways can be built and exercised. People's brains are resilient and fascinating and much stronger and more adaptable than many people are willing to give them credit for.

I've expanded my time limits across more apps on my phone, setting days where I can't even access social media at all from my phone, and in that short period of time I've found myself far more engaged with the world around me. I've been zipping my phone up in a bag instead of keeping it in my pocket, adding a step to access it, and I've found that that alone is keeping me from using it to a huge degree. I'll toss my phone across the room when I find myself on it when I don't have any reason to be scrolling. And it's helping!

My main message here is that it's never too late to focus on your focus. Change and improvement doesn't happen until you make an effort on your own.

[meathunt]

Vampire dads idea

A bit of a look into your dynamic with Thomas

TW emotional distress, light yandere themes

------------------.* ✶  ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ✧ ꒱ ˎˊ˗  ✶ *.------------------

Thomas was absolutely delighted with you, even if for now you mostly just napped and woke up to eat, you were just an adorable baby to him, sleepily mumbling words and questions that he ignored as babbling.

The first weeks he noticed a behavior that even if at first, he really didn’t mind, started to annoy him when it didn’t disappeared with time. Every single time any of them tried to carry you out of the nest you freaked out, taking a long time to calm you down for you to even stop crying.

He was glad you started to see your room, your home, as a safe place, but he was pissed it was only your room, he didn’t want you to only find comfort inside your room, he wanted that your main place of comfort and safety will be your fathers arms, whenever wherever, and that was final.

He at first let Elias try to take care of it, but if he could say, his dear husband was way too soft with you, bending at the first sight of tears or feelings of discomfort.

So it was his turn, and he had to be… creative, in his solution.

------------------.* ✶  ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ✧ ꒱ ˎˊ˗  ✶ *.------------------

You woke up out of sorts, these weeks you felt that you slept more than you were awake, but slowly you could feel you were able to stay conscious longer and longer. Today you were in the middle of true awareness, the other half of your brain started to feel nervous, and much to your dismay it started to wake up faster than you, looking for something.

As the panic started to rise and tears formed in your eyes, you also noticed that you were alone in the nest, scared chirps rising in volume.

You heard a voice answer, looking around in the room you still didn’t find anyone, calling out once again, the voice, Thomas, answered you “I’m outside baby”

Why wasn’t he here? Someone usually was always near when you needed something.

The small voice in your head panicked even more at the unusual behavior, did they got tired of you? Saw you as a nuisance and abandoned you? Do they hate you now?

You couldn’t have been crying in the nest for more than 5 minutes, maybe less, but it felt like a century, the thoughts of why was no one near you eating up at your mind, making you feel more miserable by the second.

You wanted to run outside and look for them, so the stupid voice in your head could finally shut up, so they get rid of this void, this all-consuming fear of being alone, but you were too scared, for some reason the thought of leaving the nest was terrifying, like something dangerous was waiting outside.

Only bad things happened when you went outside after all, you and the small voice in your head knew that.

But still no one came, just voices outside telling you to come to them, but you were scared.

So so scared…

------------------.* ✶  ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ✧ ꒱ ˎˊ˗  ✶ *.------------------

He could feel your distress in the bond and he was sure that Elias could too, he had to order him to go out for the day, as he was sure the big softie would crumble at the first cry you made.

He also wasn’t really fond of you being in distress, even if your crying face was adorable to him, but you needed to learn that that place didn’t held the safety and comfort you were looking for if THEY weren’t in there. This was just the quickest way to get you to understand that.

After all, the compulsion from your side of the bond will force you to accept this sooner or later, and he had no issue repeating this little exercise if needed.

Sitting on a chaise in the living room while reading a book, but not really paying attention to it, he was thinking of what else ge could do to get rid of this bad habit of yours, when he heard the crying get closer, your broken little calls getting louder and after some time, the door opened.

You were standing there in your fluffy pajamas, pale face red from crying so much, even your voice was starting to get a little bit cracked by the volume that your cries had, wet cheeks even while you tried to clean your own tears.

Even in this heart breaking image you were just so lovely ♡

“Is there something wrong darling?” He asked in a calm manner, you just cried harder, trying to talk between sobs and wails, trying to be able to form a sentence, failing miserably and adding up to your annoyance and stress at the situation.

“Aww, it’s okay, papa is here” He closed his book and left it in a table near him “Won't you come to me baby? Its just some more steps”

You didn’t waste any more time and went to him as fast as you could, almost falling twice in the way as you haven’t really used your legs in a bit. When you were close enough, he opened his arms, letting you fall on him.

Your sweaty hands grabbing at his shirt, face mashed against his neck, crying your heart out, the small chirps desperately falling from your lips, and finally he made the answering call that you were looking for, a deep rumble from his chest, mixed with a content purring, the voice in you head instantly relaxed, even if it didn't calm down, the wordless conversation that you guys had being interrupted every now and then by your sobs, and him praising you for coming to him on your own.

".th... hom.." You cough a little, feeling like your throat was too raw to really speak, after a bit yo decided to go for a simpler word "...d-dad?"

His smile grew at the name, good, you finally started to use his correct tittle "Yes my love?"

You stumbled a bit, but between sniffles you asked if you guys could go back to the room, you were still feeling antsy.

He smiled at you, but it didn't reach his eyes "No" he said, you felt your heart get squeezed, tears once again slipping from your eyes, but before you could say another thing, he started to run his hand through your hair "I want to stay here today"

"But!-" you tried to push against his hand but he forcefully pushed your head down, keeping you in place

" I already said my piece darling, end of the discussion, you could go if you feel like it, but I won't" He was lying, he would not let you do as you pleased, but he also knew that making it look like it was your decision would make the lesson stick better in your mind.

You quickly shaked your head, grabbing harder his shirt, honestly you felt it wasn't even physically possible to get away from him, the mere idea made you sniffle.

He continued to run his fingers throughout your hair, and softly humming a lullaby to you. You wanted to be upset, you knew you were upset, but having him near, his scent, his voice, his presence, it relaxed you further into his hold, your instincts glad to be near your maker, softly purring too, you hated how happy you were, but even that didn't last, as you ended up sleeping again, right on his chest.

Thomas decided that this little exercise was a success. Maybe he should do it again~♡

------------------.* ✶  ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ✧ ꒱ ˎˊ˗  ✶ *.------------------

[cinnamonest]

Yan childe x teacher reader BUT the reader has a lover OMG I CAN'T-

//cucking + filming noncon, age gap, Ajax is an awful little bastard as usual

(also here's the original Delinquent!Childe x Teacher!Reader post, and the second sequel post)

Oh anon. Anon. I love this, but consider: take it a step further.

The poor boy finding out that his precious teacher he’s been fantasizing about fucking silly is MARRIED.

Typing away on her keyboard when his eyes drift and he stiffens up when he sees the ring he never noticed before. The pain. The horror. Devastated.

He’s never even met the guy, and yet he hates him so much. It’s not fair that he got to you first, just because he was born earlier than he was!

He’s probably not good enough for you. Some old guy who can’t rail you with the vigor and intensity that a young guy like himself can, probably can’t keep up with your drive either. You must be so frustrated and unsatisfied.

Now it feels so awful on his tongue to call you what he normally does. Miss _____, he says, and it feels like he’s spewing poison from his mouth, knowing it’s some other man’s name practically forced on you by dumb traditions and social standards (not that he wouldn’t do the same, but that’s different). It makes his chest hurt to hear it, the name feels like a constant reminder that some other man basically has laid claim to you, that the name marks you as belonging to someone who isn’t him.

He does some digging, finds everything he can on the guy, any online profiles or social accounts. Ugh. You deserve better. If it were him, he would just support you himself, you wouldn’t have to slave away doing paperwork all the time.

Even worse is the fact that the guy has a nice job — you know, the kind you need some higher degrees for, which he definitely won’t get seeing as his behavioral record is pretty much guaranteed to keep him out of any credible institution… still, you don’t need that much money to get by. Sure, he’ll never make that much (without getting into crime, at least, which isn’t an impossibility…), but still, he’s better for you.

It’s so much worse, though, when he stalks your accounts, sees pictures of the two of you together. Makes him feel sick to his stomach, you look happy and he doesn’t like that. He ends up having to close the window, unable to handle any further emotional damage.

He starts to pry, little by little. Can’t be too blatant, but he slips in a question every now and then — how you met, what you two do for fun, so on and so on. It makes his stomach churn to hear you talk about him, but he can’t refrain from continuing to ask, practically a compulsive urge.

God forbid you express any sort of discontentment. Even the slightest frustrated sigh, passive-aggressive comment in regards to the man, and so on, he perks up and zeros in. Oh, so you are unhappy. Typical unsatisfied wife that’s getting pent up from unmet needs and all that.

He’s very attentive to those complaints, the things you mutter under your breath and the implications of it all. He works too long and is never home (terrible, he would never leave you so lonely), he’s never helpful around the home (which wouldn’t be so much of an issue if you were home all the time and didn’t have work responsibilities), he suspiciously disappears sometimes for “work trips” or unexplained entirely (unforgiveable, your suspicions are well-founded, he’s definitely cheating and you shouldn’t forgive it).

Sometimes you sigh and shake your head — ah, sorry, I shouldn’t trouble someone your age with all this… but he assures you it’s fine… also he’s searched a list of local divorce attorneys, you know, if you consider that, which you should.

He’s not the best at being subtle or exercising restraint, so he can’t help but actually mention it out loud — life is short, better to divorce than stay in a miserable relationship! But you sigh and say it’s not that serious. He holds out on the hope that there’s an unspoken “yet” at the end of that, that eventually you’ll get fed up.

But you don’t. You keep tolerating it. It’s somewhat understandable, since divorces are difficult and messy, and you would need somewhere to stay and all that.

But getting one’s own place isn’t that hard. He would know, now — he’s actually been picking up odd jobs recently, all to get his own place. Hard to balance that with schoolwork, but he manages (and he’s in the absolute bottom-tier difficulty for courses anyway, with very little actual homework, and it’s not like he’s prepping for college like a lot of his peers). You’re very pleased with it, say you’re proud of him for being so dedicated and responsible, completely unaware that he only really has one intention for doing it all anyway.

He was planning to take that part slowly, ease his way there, but you push the limits of how much he can tolerate when he’s forced to meet the guy face-to-face. He’s just sitting there as per usual in your after-school sessions, talking a mile a minute as per usual, having a good day, completely unprepared for the psychological gut-punch he’s forced to experience when that same face he saw online comes walking right into your classroom. The sacred space that’s supposed to be just for you and him.

His soul is crushed when you get up to greet the guy all happily, practically ignoring him for several extended seconds before you gesture over to where he’s sitting and introduce each other — with himself as the student I’ve been tutoring, you know the one. The man nods, casts a single uncaring glance his direction.

Right. She mentioned you before.

The hell does that mean. He keeps the smile plastered to his face, but it’s twitchy. What did you say? Was it bad? No, you wouldn’t say anything bad about him… except maybe certain factual statements like the whole behavioral record thing, but he can accept that that’s his own fault.

Still, he doesn’t like the way the guy looks at him. A vague condescending, disdainful glance. Makes him curl his hands into fists and clench his jaw. If it weren’t for the whole “impulse management” thing you’ve been hammering into his head for months now, he might have outright attacked the guy.

It’s practically torture to sit there. You say something about how you’re going out for your anniversary, so he came to pick you up. Awful. Like you might as well have stabbed him. Not to mention it’s cutting into what’s supposed to be his time with you, and now he has to leave early.

So he’s forced to walk to the front doors with you both, listening to you talk all happily about where you’re going, while he’s forced to continue to pretend to be perfectly fine with it. Ugh.

You bid him goodbye, and he smiles and waves and walks the opposite way… and the moment you’re out of sight, he’s scowling and grinding his teeth and kicking rocks on the road all the way home, sulking like a petulant kid, imagining all the horrible ways he hopes your date goes terribly wrong.

It makes him seethe all night long, laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, nausea ruining any chance he had of sleeping. He can’t even go sulk around his parents with the hope of getting attention like he used to do when he was mad, now that he lives in this little apartment by himself.

How is he supposed to live under these conditions, no attention available on demand. You don’t even text him to see if he got home safe like you do sometimes. Probably too busy doing whatever with your husband who’s more important than he is. Hmph. His mind briefly flickers to wondering what you’re doing now that it’s later in the night, but the obvious realization only makes him feel ten times more sick. He doesn’t get any rest.

And the longer the night goes on, the more irritated he starts to feel, the misery and hurt begins to turn to bitterness and anger. He starts to feel like you probably know — no, you definitely do. And yet, you willingly tortured him like that. You've been so nice to him, giving him all that attention and affection, knowing you won't ever give him what he really wants and being totally fine with causing him so much pain. He's hurt, and more importantly, mad.

But he can't hate you… your husband, however, is a different story.

That guy kept his arm around your waist walking outside, rubbing it in his face like that. He’s certain that your husband must realize that he loves you (way more than said husband does, for the record), but that look of disdain — he doesn’t even see him as a threat, does he. Thinks that he’s not even proper competition. That much is painful. Bothersome. Annoying. Rage-inducing.

Well, he’s wrong.

That’s the thought that pushes him over the edge. He’s already had the idea in his head for a long time, he just kept bailing out every time he gathered the gall to go through with it, much to his own shame.

But clearly, continuing to be passive is not going to get him anywhere. Come to think of it, a few months ago, he would never have hesitated to go through with whatever impulse struck him, no matter how violent. It’s not like he hasn’t been expelled or arrested before.

He appreciates the time he’s spent with you, but he’s starting to think that all those little speeches about “self-control” and “thinking before you act” and all that have only really just made him docile and tame. How embarrassing.

A man should just take what he wants, right? Anything less is practically a blow to his pride.

He’s still not the brightest when it comes to formulating plans, but his rather straightforward plan ends up working. You actually agree to swing by when he says he has something to give you, something too big to carry to school himself, so he needs you to come pick it up with your car and all that. You must really trust him. Or you’re just naive, maybe, but he likes to think you trust him, however unwise that may be.

He worries that you might back out, but you show right up to his door. The motions from there are mechanical, putting his brain on a sort of autopilot mode in which he just goes through with it, without thinking too much, lest he hesitate, until you’re secured.

Grabbing you by the shoulder and jerking you inside, hand over your mouth, other arm around your waist and picking you up. It's a short distance to the bed (well, mattress on the floor), since it's just a studio apartment and all.

You being so weak makes it so much easier. He can technically tell you're struggling, but it barely feels like resistance, just weak squirming and thrashing that doesn't even loosen his grip in the slightest. You make cute little noises of surprise and confusion and fear, muffled by his hand over your mouth.

Sadly, he can't afford to have you attracting attention from the neighbors, so he's forced to keep you gagged, pulling your shirt over your head (to which your whimpers turn to full-fledged sounds of panic), and — after the brief moment where he has to detach his hand from your mouth, hearing you stammer out a wait, wait— balls it up and stuffs it into your mouth, quickly grabbing the duct tape (he, feeling very proud of himself for such clever forethought, thought to go ahead and tear some long strips off and stick the ends to the wall ahead of time), and placing it over your mouth, flipping you over onto your stomach.

You're so cute. You make the cutest little noises, your eyes get all teary, you squirm and whimper and try to pull yourself away, but he's got your wrists pinned behind your back with one hand, the other pulling your hips back. The cutest part by far has to be when you feel him jerk your skirt up, his cock pressing against your flesh and pushing inside of you, your squeals get louder and higher pitched and you struggle so hard, to no avail.

So mean, though, to pretend like you didn't see it coming. You know what you did. You led him on on purpose. Knowing full well the sort of things he's done to other people — beating his peers black and blue on impulsive whims, getting into fights because he felt like it, stealing stuff and vandalizing stuff and all those other things he knows you know he did, since it's all on his records… you willingly came all by yourself, in private, with someone like that, who you know full well is so much stronger than you are—

What did you fucking expect?

Up until then, the stream of words from his mouth are all amused and teasing and sadistic, but in those words, and the sharp jerking thrust accompanying them, you hear that underlying anger breaking through. You really hurt him, you know, by being married. He loves you so much, and you had to go and do that to me, he says, as if it was a retroactive choice, as if you should have predicted his presence in your life years in advance, as if you willfully did it to spite him years before you knew he existed.

Is it irrational? Sure… but it isn't going to change that he feels that way, and he’s mad and you can't do anything about it anyway, so he's going to keep blaming you for what you did wrong.

He keeps muttering about how stupid you are — for coming here so naively, for choosing your dumb fucking husband over him when he's so much better and loves you so much more, for all the little things you did to lure him in and make him want you so badly, for being so nice to him and having a body you should have known would make him want this so badly.

It's all your fault.

The words get more and more muffled and slurred as the movements get faster, harsher, you squeal with each thrust that makes the springs creak and the whole mattress itself move back and forth against the floor. He points out that you're leaking all over him, fluid drooling out of your hole and spilling onto his hips and thighs, satisfied by the shameful little whimper you make and the way you hang your head. You must not get fucked good enough at home, huh.

And then, he starts to slow down. There's a pause. You see him reach over, to where he tossed a few things that were on you when you came in onto the floor. Fishes something out of your purse.

You made a confused, panicked little sound when you notice he's holding your phone. Easily unlocked, whatever method you use — he holds it up to your face or forces your thumb to press against it, or, most alarmingly, even if it's protected by password or pattern, he enters it with a single try. Shouldn't have opened your phone around him so much, of course he would pay attention to that.

You're flipped onto your back, reeling from the sudden harsh movement, grunting and squirming when your bra is pulled up to your collarbones and your skirt pulled up even further, exposing your body completely before shoving back inside of you, and oh, what a euphoric sound you make — and this time, you visibly clench down on him when he does. Perfectly timed, too.

Your stomach clenches in dread and panic as you see your phone’s front side facing you.

Smile.

You cry out louder than ever before, struggle so hard, so good. His hand latches onto your throat and squeezes hard, and your hands, now no longer in his grasp, reach up to claw at them, all entirely futile. The sound of skin slapping skin reverberates around the room, and you see him tilt the camera downward, ensuring he captures the sight of his cock pounding into you, stretching you apart, all the slick fluid now coating everything from your thighs to his hips, and the sweet, precious sounds you make for him.

He wonders if anyone has ever made you react like this before. If your husband is going to be torn apart by the realization that he's made you feel better than he ever has, that he's better and bigger than him. The sheer fear on your face would suggest that. The thought feels euphoric.

He re-angles himself, leaning forward a bit, ensuring his body presses against your clit — you start to tense up, push back, your heels dig into the mattress and your body writhes with greater force than ever before. Your eyes squeeze shut and you shake your head but he doesn't stop, and you hate yourself so much in the moment for the sensations your body feels, the guilt and despair overwhelm you, you feel a cold chill in your gut — but you finally spasm and shudder on his cock all the same, clearly trying so hard to minimize it and hold back the sounds and movements, but the involuntary shudders and soft little cries are unmistakable all the same.

Normally, he would want to stay inside you longer — but there will be plenty of chance for that later. This time, the prospect of pulling out and capturing it is too tempting, and God, is it satisfying when he does. The squelching sound, the way his cum starts to drool out of you onto the mattress, the way your hole twitches from the sudden absence, slightly agape from the intrusion. It's so, so perfect, better than he could have even imagined.

You rip the tape off your mouth, gagging and coughing from the strain on your throat, and the overwhelming sensation leaves you in a dazed stupor for a few moments… your head slowly drags over to him, and an ice-cold spike of fear strikes through your heart when you see that he's still on your phone.

Slight movement from you as you try to push yourself upright takes his attention away from it, eyes flickering over to you.

Ah, right.

You make a scared little sound and pull your hands close to your chest (very cute!) as he looms over you again, but you're helpless to do anything as he puts the phone down to flip you over again, this time taping your wrists behind your back, adding a new layer over your mouth, and finally one on your ankles. Your struggles barely faze him.

You see him zip his pants back up and pull his shirt back on, standing and making his way over to the door, shuffling his shoes back on before grabbing your car keys.

I'll bring these back. Your place is only five minutes away if I drive, you know. I won’t get into any wrecks this time.

It occurs to you that you've never told him where you live, but it's the least of your concerns then and there. Your heart sinks to your stomach as he takes your phone again, grinning as he types and, after a pause, makes one distinct, final tap that you know can only be hitting 'send.'

His head turns over to you, that same dopey, carefree smile on his face as always, that now seems so much more sinister than before.

Don't worry. He won't have enough time to call the cops.

Your muffled words don't stop him. You writhe pathetically on the ground as the door opens and closes before you, listening in dread and despair as his footsteps slowly fade away.

[ash-says]

This one is for my girlies who grew up in dysfunctional families.

Girls who don't know healthy love, care and affection. Girls who grew up watching fights, in violent and stressful environments, being picked on by their peers, their own family members.

Know that it's not your job to maintain peace, people please and accommodate yourself to other people's expectations.

Take this as a BLUNT reminder for yourself:

1) Have strong boundaries. Surprise. I know you read this a thousand times but before you eyeroll read this again.

2) Stand up for yourself. It might be scary but sometimes fighting back against your family can be helpful. Do it strategically. Don't rush in blindly. The main goal is survival afterall.

3) No doing drugs, self harm, compulsive relationships, casual sex, alcohol and many destructive, addictive and escapist behavior won't help you in rebelling against your family. What are you three years old???

4) Establish your relationship with God or whatever the hell you believe in. Have a strong belief system. That's the only way you can save yourself and keep yourself on track. Even if you deter on the wrong path it will swing you back. Trust me.

5) Form strong female friendships. PLEASE. Female friendships are literally holiness in disguise. My girls are my biggest assets. The amount of emotional intelligence and support a female can provide. Chefs kiss.

What ? You can't vibe with girls?? You are more of a girl who vibe with boys?? Girls are secretly jealous of you??

Okayyyyy... I am no one to criticize but I think we need to reassess somethings.

At least one female friend. Won't cost you a fortune. Will it???

(If you think you got no one around you. My inbox + Gossip Box is always open.)

6) Academic Validation>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Male validation. Always.

7) Exercise and work out. Woahh did not see it coming right. Well it's important because it helps you in calming down your mind and expressing those repressed energies. Any anger issues babe in the house?? Guess what it's the best outlet for all your angst.

8) This is for those girls who are into toxic households please find a way to get out of there. I won't suggest permanently cause I believe in mending things and parents are a crucial part of your life. But find a way to live your college life or at least two to three years of your life out of your hometown. A lot of things you will understand by yourself then. If you know. You know.

9) Sharpen your people and survival skills. I hate to say this but we are highly susceptible to attracting people who want to take advantage of us. So listen to your gut the next time it warns you against someone.

10) Tone down your intensity. Not everyone is trying to get you or attack you. Coping mechanisms are great they kept/keep you alive but make sure they won't create trouble for you. Keep them in check. Got it??

[painted-bees]

There's a question that has been microwaving in my brain for a very long time now, and it won't just let me be. So now I have to try and akwardly ask you about it.

For context: I have adhd and am very forgetful like Margie is. My friends and family have a tendency to take it really personally when my forgetfulness affects them. They treat it like I did it intentionally just to upset them. They're not bad people or anything they just don't seem to realize that I really don't want to forget things and cause problems and that I actually do care it's just hard to remember. None of them have Raf's personality disorder.

So the question I have is: How does Raf avoid taking it personally when Margie forgets things? Especially big things like those concert tickets, which probably cost a lot of money to purchase and a long drive to the venue? Wouldn't his paranoia make him more prone than anyone to assume that her forgetfulness is a deliberate action against him? He handles it better than anyone I know and I want to know his secret!

Aw. Firstly, I am sorry that this is the case between you and your loved ones. I understand how it feels to be punished for something that already punishes you enough, and the lack of understanding or empathy towards the fact that the person who suffers from your forgetfulness--more than anyone else--is you. I hope that understanding arrives to them someday soon and that they learn to exercise patience. Being frustrated and disappointed in a situation is understandable, but accusing you of doing it on purpose and reacting under that assumption is hurtful and unhelpful. I am sorry on their behalf ;;♡

Now, to answer the question at hand! Unlike most people who don't suffer mood or personality disorders, Raf has grown acutely aware that his thoughts, assumptions, and emotional responses are disordered. He knows he has the "takes everything extremely personally, and in extremely bad faith" disorder. And he's aware that this has negatively impacted his life and ruined his relationships in the past. He finally caved to getting help for it years ago because he was tired of blaming everyone and everything but seeing no way to fix it--and thinking, hoping praying that there's gotta be a way to live better than this.

He still doubts his paranoid personality diagnosis. He's done his own research into it. It could just as well be obsessive compulsive personality disorder. It could just be his unique life situation, making him an ideal target for abuse and exploitation. It could be an assortment of things. But an important thing that he's learned--that addresses all of this--is that he can't control other people's behaviour. He can blame them for it all he wants--but the only behaviour he can control is his own. And so--he has been working really hard on that. He's changed his behaviour in a variety of ways just to see how it changes his day to day experiences--and the behaviours that have seen positive results are the behaviours he has maintained and developed further. It doesn't fix his trust issues, it doesn't dispell his suspicions... but it helps give him space and removes a lot of the surface friction in his day-to-day interactions.

One of the harder ones he has forced on himself is to counter every bad assumption in his mind with a good one. It's like pulling teeth a lot of the time. A lot of the time he doesn't want to give fuckers the benefit of the doubt--because he doesn't trust that they deserve it. But he forces himself to consider it anyway. No matter the perceived severity. Another behavioural habit he's worked hard to develop is to not act on a kneejerk reaction nor respond on an impulse. He's had to assume that his first reaction is the -wrong- reaction and to delay his anger until he has had time to appropriately process things and account for all the variables. He can be hit or miss with this... but he really tries.

And so, when it comes to Margie forgetting things, he is uniquely conditioned to discard the feeling of "you did this to me on purpose, because you wanted to take this from me, because its your way of gaining power over me" as quickly as possible--like touching a hot stove. Yeah he feels it, his brain even -begs- him to chew on it. But he's well practised at responding in contradiction to this feeling of being personally slighted. He holds onto these experiences, though, and looks for other, longer-term cues to assess whether or not someone is behaving deliberately against him. He tries to find and identify behavioural patterns in the people he interacts with. He's spent enough time around Margie to recognize and reason with himself that Margie's forgetfulness and disorganization has impacted her just as much--if not more--than it has impacted those around her. If it was really done to spite him, why would she also sabotage herself in this same manner, with things that don't matter to anyone else but her...and with such consistency?

Raf is in his head a lot of the time, and it's over things like this. Assessing other people's behaviour so that he may behave "fairly" in response. Gives him the reputation of being a very quiet, chill guy who keeps to himself and stays out of interpersonal drama haha

If he doesn't spend all his resources actively forcing himself to find neutral-to-positive reasons behind people's behaviour, he'll default to obsessively verifying for himself that they're all bad. There's not really a middle ground for him, here. It's either an active, constant effort towards one...or an easy, destructive, and isolating slide into the other.

[starsifter]

I know in the Ford cult server we talked about fords trauma briefly but I wanted to hear any headcanons you had about Ford coping with his trauma/what bad habits that likely formed from it. Boy deserves some god damn help but I know he ain’t going to therapy anytime soon😭

Poor old man 😭

Cw: Trauma and Trauma Responses

Ford spends a lot of time rationalizing things, intellectualizing, compartmentalizing. In other words, he does think about his trauma, but he detaches himself from it, separates it from the rest of his life.

He's deeply, deeply ashamed of having been tricked and hurt by Bill. He has a lot of trust issues, he still has trouble trusting his family, hiding everything under this facade of confidence, not letting himself be vulnerable often.

Sleeping is hard for him, he can't get settled, when he does fall asleep it's usually not for long. He has frequent nightmares, mainly involving Bill.

He definitely uses exercising and working out as a coping mechanism, being physically fit makes him feel more in control over his own body. He wants to feel strong, able to overcome whatever issues he might face.

When faced with a situation he seemingly cannot escape, or plan a way out of he shuts down, accepting it quickly and trying to focus more on the people he cares about.

He secretly believes he deserves whatever comes his way because he wasn't strong enough/smart enough/good enough to stop it.

He dissociates when he's in pain, and when he feels like he can't escape. It's a learned response from torture,

He compulsively catastrophizes, planning and planning and planning for every outcome he can think of.

He feels like he can't express himself or else he'll be seen as weak. He has a temper and tends to jump to showing anger when really he's feeling scared or sad or embarrassed.

[saey707]

*heavy breathing* pls, feed my thirst with a little heartsteel kayn pls I need him -I-I need to read some yandere heartsteel kayn *coughs* I can't breath I need him to be angry at me for his own feelings omg omg I need it I need the water

✿ Prompt: Kayn is a toxic boyfriend ✿

♡ champion focus: kayn ♡ tw: npd, yandere ♡ Gender-neutral reader

Author's Note: Your request made me laugh so hard that I had to respond as soon as possible LOLOL ૮꒰⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝꒱ა I'm always down for writing toxic yandere boys! So let's get into Kayn ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡ Enjoy!

Most days, you couldn't help but feel like you were trapped in a relationship with Kayn. Yes, you loved him, hell you even accepted him the way he was... But really, that was only because you feared what he could if you did try to speak up.

The warning signs were always there- People constantly reminding you... no, warning you that Kayn was toxic. But, you chose to ignore them. You wanted to believe there was some degree of good inside of Kayn. You wanted to love him like no one did before. You tried to convince yourself that you could even change him!

However, seeing Kayn in all his selfish, narcissistic colors made you realize far too late that you were stuck with him... and Kayn loved the power he had over you.

He loved having control over your shared relationship and felt like he could do as he pleased whenever he pleased. Time and time again Kayn would exercise unscrupulous control and influence over you. And you let him.

The control issues Kayn harbored at the beginning of your relationship were small. So much so, that you believed he was just obsessive-compulsive. He spoke devilish whispers that persuaded you to do things you would never do. He had you wrapped around his finger. He had you in his possession. His trap.

And as the devil's web unwound, it was only a matter of time before he was only just beginning to control every aspect of your life, from deciding what you wore out to events together to who you spoke to.

"I saw Aphelios looking at you the other day. You shouldn't trust him. You never know what the intentions of the quiet ones are..."

"I heard what Yone said to you the other day. You shouldn't listen to him... He has no idea how happy we are together!"

"I don't want you talking to Ezreal anymore!"

While the rest of the band felt it was wrong to enable Kayn, they kept quiet. They kept their distance when you all were alone. Because Kayn knew as much about them as he knew about you. And Kayn wasn't afraid to abuse the information he knew he sabotage all of them if they crossed him and his relationship.

The only sigh of relief you ever had was when the group performed interviews out of the country. Even though you could tag along, you chose not to. You made the excuse that you had work, and that saved you every time. Work was the only thing you had in your life that gave you some sense of control. Kayn couldn't take that away from you... yet, at least.

"Why aren't you texting me back? Are you listening to me?!" "Answer right now!!" "You're seriously going to put your phone on mute this long?! Who the hell do you think you are?!!" "Fine then. You did this to yourself. Keep that in mind." "LMAO" "When I get back you better hope that I'm fucking happy!!"

And he made sure to let the world know how frustrated he was.

"So Kayn, how is your relationship with your partner? You both are still together right?!" The interviewer happily questioned, your boyfriend playing the part, showing off that devilishly smug smile in front of his awestruck audience.

It made you feel sick to your stomach. It made you dread what he was about to say and what he could say.

"Oh, we are! Things between us are better than ever. We're both so happy..." His smile fell. "But..." He began to brood, looking off to the side for a moment. The audience ate up his vulnerability.

"They get so busy with work sometimes. I just wish they could respond to me sooner! Babe, if you're watching this, answer me!! Ahahaha!!" His smile returned, the others trying to hide their discomfort with joyful laughter.

"Well, I'm sure they'll be happy to see you when you get back Kayn. Don't be so discouraged!" The interviewer reassured him, Kayn rubbing the back of his neck, staring forward at the camera. Staring forward at you.

That was the telltale sign: That you were absolutely, most positively, fucked.

[3liza]

my attending left the hospital im at with my insurance so i met the new one yesterday and like the first thing she did was tell me some straight up wrong information which appeared to be either her receiving slightly wrong medical data after a game of doctor telephone or possibly just completely fucking up at reading a study herself.

i almost never am able to respond during appointments when a doctor does this to me because of course i cant track down the study while im on the zoom call, so in several cases now i have sent a mychart message and once an actual fax after the appointment, JUST to let a doctor know they told me some complete nonsense. and im always polite and professional about it, and im sure its annoying as hell and that they usually assume im wrong or crazy without actually checking their information, but the possibility that it will prevent the doctor repeating that misinformation to someone else makes me keep doing it, more or less compulsively.

me: my biggest acute medical problem is probably the chronic dehydration. i cant drink enough fluids to stay hydrated because of the gastroparesis, and if i try, the fluids come back up, causing GERD issues. sports drinks and pedialyte are very helpful, but expensive. homemade preparations require an amount of time and executive function investment i am having trouble keeping up with. what do you suggest

the doctor: theres new research that 50/50 apple juice and water is actually better at rehydrating people than pedialyte or sports drinks.

me: that doesnt sound right. apple juice has that much sodium in it?

the doctor: pedialyte actually has too much sodium in it and can cause additional dehydration :)

me: thats true for healthy patients b--(remembering im keeping it polite and upbeat because i cant antagonize someone who is about to refill my adderall) ok thats good to know thanks

sure enough, when i got home and repeated this to the discord and people actually started looking into it, the only study that came up about apple juice concluded that it was better at keeping medically normal children from getting dehydrated during gastroenteritis because apple juice tastey and kids will drink more of it voluntarily. apple juice has 7mg of sodium per 236mL. POTS patients can sometimes require up to 10 grams of sodium supplementation per day.

im unclear on why so many doctors assume the Healthy Test Subjects they have been reading so much about are going to turn up in their offices as patients for anything except yearly wellness exams. arent most of the people seeking medical attention for actual symptoms already suffering from various problems that by definition have fucked up their metabolic processes, nutritional requirements, how much sleep they need, how much exercise they tolerate, etc. this seems like less of a failure of medical education and more one of basic reasoning skills

[peachdoxie]

I'm still reflecting on my failed time in therapy for OCD, specifically, and what went wrong so that I can get better help if I ever need to go back to therapy for it, and I think one of the major factors in why it didn't work was that the therapist I had was not very accommodating of my health issues when trying to get me to do ERP exercises. My primary compulsion is avoidance, but the problem is that I have fibromyalgia with chronic pain and fatigue, so I was constantly on a seesaw of pushing myself to do the things I was avoiding and avoiding those things because they might trigger a pain/fatigue episode, which was not something I could afford to have happen.

And instead of listening to me when I explained that, no, I can't do this exercise because it might trigger something, he just kind of ignored that because he took my avoidance as a symptom of OCD. Which like, yeah, it is, but it's also not, and I didn't know where OCD ended and preventing myself from having an episode began. I needed help navigating that line, and my therapist was unable to do that.

Unfortunately, it's only two years later that I'm making that connection and can actually explain it in a way that I think someone else could understand. Sigh. Therapists become disability informed 2025 challenge.

[unfoldingmoments]

Mental Issue vs Mental Illness

1. Does Everyone Have a Mental Issue/Illness?

Not everyone has a clinical mental illness (e.g., schizophrenia, major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder), but everyone experiences mental/emotional struggles (e.g., stress, sadness, anger, lust, fear) to varying degrees. These can be seen as "issues" rather than "illnesses."

The line between "normal" struggles and "illness" depends on:

Severity: How much it disrupts daily life.

Duration: Whether it's temporary or chronic.

Functionality: Whether it impairs relationships, work, or self-care.

2. Difference Between Mental "Issue" vs. "Illness"

Mental Issue: A milder, situational struggle (e.g., temporary sadness after a loss, occasional anger). Many people fluctuate in these emotions (like your A/B examples) without it being pathological.

Mental Illness: A clinically significant disturbance in thinking, emotion, or behavior that causes dysfunction (e.g., chronic depression, anxiety disorders, personality disorders). These often require professional treatment.

3. Your % Example (Anger 80% vs. 20%, Lust 40% vs. 70%)

This resembles traits in psychology (e.g., the "Big 5" personality traits). People vary in tendencies like anger or impulsivity, but it becomes an "illness" when:

It’s extreme and uncontrollable (e.g., rage attacks, compulsive behavior).

It harms oneself or others.

These % can change over time due to upbringing, trauma, beliefs, habits, or spiritual growth.

4. Is Mental Illness/Issues Hereditary?

Partly: Genetics can predispose someone (e.g., higher risk of depression or anxiety if family history exists), but environment (trauma, upbringing, lifestyle) and personal choices play huge roles. It’s not inevitable even with genetic risk.

5. Christian Perspective: Spiritual/Miraculous Healing

Many Christians believe:

Spiritual growth (prayer, repentance, faith, community) can bring healing (e.g., overcoming anger/lust through God’s grace).

Miracles are possible but not guaranteed; God often works through natural means (e.g., counseling, medicine).

However, mental illness is not always solely "spiritual." Even biblical figures like David (Psalms) or Elijah (1 Kings 19) show deep emotional struggles. A holistic approach is wise:

Prayer + Professional Help: Counseling/therapy (Proverbs 11:14, "Where there is no guidance, a people falls").

Community: The Church’s support (Galatians 6:2, "Bear one another’s burdens").

Medical Intervention: If needed (e.g., for chemical imbalances).

6. Other Suggestions for Healing

Counseling/Psychology: Helps reframe thoughts, process trauma, and develop coping skills.

Lifestyle Changes: Exercise, sleep, diet (1 Corinthians 6:19–20, body as a temple).

Mindfulness/Self-Reflection: Identifying triggers and patterns.

Community Support: Accountability and love from others.

Summary:

Not everyone has a mental illness, but everyone deals with mental/emotional issues.

Heredity plays a role, but it’s not destiny.

Christianity supports spiritual healing but also practical help (counseling, medicine).

A combination of faith, community, and professional care is often most effective.

[fassina]

CW Weight loss and ED talk under the cut

So I have hit a brick wall with my medical care and they're refusing to continue with investigations into my numbness in my hands and feet and lightning headaches/hearing my heartbeat in my ear/passing out when lifting above my head until I lose weight.

They've referred me out to "lifestyle" and I have had my first chat (which went surprisingly well, they listened to how I eat and didn't immediately call me a liar like other people have) and then been referred onto a third party management system that's obviously a cash grab and like.

What annoys me about all this is there is no consideration of my history with anorexia and bulimia at all. I KNOW what I have to do to lose weight - I'm not one of those people for whom small changes make big differences, I need to bulk eat vegetables, eat 3 small meals and 3 small snacks for consistent energy release, and monitor everything I eat, but this puts me at huge risk of falling into compulsive behaviours around calorie counting and limiting.

I put a decade of work into being able to accept my body post-disability, and adjust how I move and exercise. But now I've become more disabled, I can't safely lift weights, so the only option is this heavily limited way of eating.

I don't drink alcohol, I don't eat ready meals, I cook from scratch and eat vegetarian 3/7 days. I DO like to go out to eat as it's my only social activity, I do get takeout every couple of weeks, I do find I get incredibly tired because I have fatigue issues and I drink too much caffeine and know my portions are too big. Because I'm HUNGRY. I'm craving protein all the time because I'm pushing my body all the time!

I KNOW how to fix this. But I also know I will lose the last remaining pleasures in my life because contrary to their beliefs, it doesn't decrease my pain levels or improve my energy levels. Exercise still hurts and leaves me fatigued, and the more I do, the more I end up in bed.

So I'm doing it. I'm anxious as hell because I know this pattern. It's exciting at first because I love the patters of it, and then it becomes all I think about, and then it stops being fun. But I'm learning more and more that everybody, EVERYBODY, cares more about you being thin than being okay.

[makingspiritualityreal]

Of all the Grahas where we Feel out of Control, Ketu and Saturn areas are where you Carry the Most Burden.

The karma of Rahu is that it gives us the free will to aggressively pursue what we want, temporarily, but Saturn and Ketu ultimately slow it down, only to give Rahu to us at their own time. The free will of Rahu is exercised within limits and it can lead us astray, but it exists nevertheless.

Ketu is where you constantly find yourself taking spiritual responsibility, feeling forced to correct things compulsively. It can feel heavy because you get no rest and no respite even if the conditions of your Ketu really annoy you. Ketu is where you are constantly burdened in a way that feels draining emotionally through physical circumstances, so there is nothing you can do besides let go and do your best. Planets and significances conjunct Ketu will show what can feel draining in your life. If it's either the Sun or the Moon, the deep rooted issues you develop because of what you had to carry become a significant part of your personality and you become your own worst problem as a reflection. That's why Ketu feels comfortable in houses 8 and 12 of spiritual surrender and long-term waiting, or even 9th of gains from surrender, because it is natural that as human beings we always experience the burden of other people's emotions through interaction, and so it is compatible to pay ones karmic debt in that area.

Saturn is where we deal with karma of physical responsibility. It's where we feel like we either start from scratch or from a place so bad that it offers no support and we have to put in serious effort to change it. Saturn doesn't however carry the feeling of soul bondage Ketu traps us with, because it has a calculated, measured approach towards building the given area from the ground up. A well functioning Saturn starts from a place of a material void growing into responsible abundance. What can feel burdensome here is the void itself early in life, the restrictions being placed upon initially being able to obtain the things one wants freely, which over time turns into development of a high quality standard.

[followthebluebell]

Can I ask you, as someone else who seems to be more of a cat guy, your experiences with Truffle? I’m considering a Spoo for my next dog and am trying to get a feel for whether or not one would work for me (and my cat guy spouse). I’m mostly wondering about energy levels because someone saying “moderate energy” or “high energy” doesn’t give me a whole of expectations as to how much and how intense exercise I’d be looking at to keep the dog satisfied which is important living in an apartment with a cat. I really like the trainability of the poodle and work in grooming so even if I didn’t want to do it myself, I have trusted people to do it for me so that’s no issue. I mainly want a companion I can take on hikes and to restaurants/brewpubs on the weekends who won’t eat my other pets. Just trying to gather as much perspective as possible before jumping in :)

Honestly I think spoos are the world's most perfect dog. I'm only a little biased in this absolute concrete fact. I'm not sure I could have any other breed of dog at this point.

I think Truffle is a medium energy dog. He's fairly active; we used to go on five mile hikes three days a week, but have since petered down to 1.5-2. On days we don't hike, we usually play fetch or flirt pole for like 30 minutes.

He also loves days where he does absolutely nothing, which really highlights my next point:

I don't think energy levels are as important in a dog as a good off switch is. Even if we've done absolutely nothing, Truffle won't tear up my house or try to eat my cats. I think a lot of this is just genetic, tbh. I looked specifically for breeders who titled their dogs for obedience and agility AND raised their dogs in their home because I wanted a dog that was smart, healthy, and had a good, solid basis for home living. A few dogs in Truffle's pedigree have hunting titles as well, but there's not really much of a delineation between hunting lines and show lines in poodles.

Mental exercise plays a much bigger role than physical exercise. We train daily for around 30-40 minutes--- I think that's a bigger requirement than just physical exercise. It's definitely something he's way more into and tends to tire him out more.

He's not a super cuddly dog. He likes to be BY me, but not ON me. This is great for me because I get touched-out easily, especially by a large dog. He's just unobtrusive, which was ideal for a service dog. He's not running around trying to be everyone's friend. He's just aloof towards strangers.

TBH the biggest issue I have with standard poodles is their tendency towards pickiness about food. Truffle's on a vet prescription diet due to stone formation and it can be a fucking pain to get him to eat sometimes. I've recently found a new hack (he really loves pumpkin) but I know in my heart that it's going to lose efficacy at some point and I'll have to try something new.

Like i said, I think he's the perfect dog for me. He's happy to go out on a hike and look for cool lizards, but he's equally happy to curl up on the couch and snooze as long as he also gets to do some trick training. He's very chill with the cats and treats strangers as a curiosity rather than a compulsion. He's a lovebug without being overly cuddly and needy.

[boag]

maybe ocd treatment exercises might help you a lot?

Probably. My therapist from when I was like 15 speculated I might have ocd and I have had these random compulsions that pop into my head basically my entire life but it was never bad enough to be like a pressing issue or for me to seek a diagnosis and after my autism diagnosis I kind of assumed it had something to do with that. I remember when I was like 7 I would stay over at my grandparents’ trailer all the time and I would sleep in the room at the back and their kitchen was on the opposite end and I would wake up thirsty in the middle of the night and get so scared to go get some water by myself but I didn’t wanna wake anyone up so my brain would be like “it’ll be okay if you run down the hallway and through the living room with your feet hitting the floor exactly 9 times and then do hopscotch with the tiles in the kitchen and stop on these specific ones in front of the fridge and then spin around 3 times and then get the water with your feet planted in place and then do it all again but in reverse to go back to bed and don’t make any noise and if you mess up at all somebody will show up and kill everyone in the house.” LOLL I always kinda knew stuff like that was just my brain making up ways to deal with my fears or anxiety but it worked to calm me down so I saw it as a net positive