#the man who never signed adoption papers who never married my mom

[jacqcrisis]

Lmao looks like my deadbeat sperm donor finally got a job that doesn't pay him under the table. Took 31 years for him to start paying child support, but better late than never I guess.

[renee-writer]

Teacher Chapter 45

AO3

“He asked if we were adopting James.” She sits grading papers beside her husband, who is doing the same.

 

He puts down his pen and turns to her. “Why would he even think that?”

 

She shrugs, still partially focused on the essays in front of her. “Because circumstances have kept us so involved, I guess,” when she realizes he has stopped marking papers, she places her on pen down, “Why? Are you thinking about it?”

 

His hand drums on his thigh. She knows it means he is thinking and gives him a moment. “No, I mean, she might keep him. Besides, it would be crazy to consider it, a bit beyond the teacher/ student relationship, eh?”

 

It wasn’t a no. “We are still newlyweds figuring things out. It makes no sense.” She wasn’t saying no either. They look at each other and smile.

 

“We’re insane.”

 

“This whole thing has been a whirlwind. From meeting, dating, marrying.” She takes his hand, the one not dancing on his thigh.

 

“So, you are saying parenting should be as well?”

 

“Summer break is coming up. Were we…”

 

“It would be the perfect time.” He completes.

 

“But we were to be preparing to move back?”

 

“Maybe be a bit late?”

 

She is torn between laughs and tears. It is a crazy idea. But it brings a deep sense of peace to her. Does that mean it is right?

 

“She may choose to keep him?”

 

“Aye, but she may be hesitant to make that choice because she fears who he will go to.”

 

“Do we just come out and ask? I mean, what is the proper way to do this?”

 

His finger starts moving again. “Talk to her parents?”

 

She nods. Just like that, they decide to adopt, if they can.

 

The next day, he calls the Kelly’s. Kelli-Anne is scheduled to be released from the hospital that day.

 

“Mr. Fraser, thank you for all you have done, you and your wife, to help my daughter out.”

 

“There is another thing, okay, this may sound crazy but, we discussed it last night. If they are giving the baby up, we would love to adopt him.” He tells her father.

 

The other man gets quiet. Then replies, “Seriously! She knows that it is better for James to be with a family, a mom and dad. She just wasn’t  comfortable giving him to strangers. You guys would be… But are you sure? This goes way beyond helping a student. I mean…”

 

“I know what you mean. We both feel a bond with him. Not that we want to take a child from his mom, if…”

 

“Come speak to her. “

 

They arrive at the hospital forty-five minutes later. Kelli-Anne holds James. Her parents are in the room. There is no sign of Derrick.

 

Her shiny eyes meet theirs. “I love him. I never knew I could love someone so much. That is why I need to let him go. I can’t give him what he needs. Derrick, he left and hasn’t returned since I told him he wasn’t getting his last name. James is just a trophy for him, something to brag about. He won’t be no type of father,” she swallows back the tears that fill her throat, “If you are serious about wanting to adopt him, you can.”

 

She kisses her baby’s face. Then she holds him out towards Claire. Her own eyes full of tears, she takes him.

 

“One thing,” Kelli-Anne ‘s mom says, “If you could keep the names, James and Kelly?”

 

“James Kelly Fraser.” Claire softly pronounces, “that is actually perfect.”

 

“If you wouldn’t mind, I would like to know how he is doing?”

Jamie turns to Kelli-Anne. “We would be happy to send you pictures and updates.”

 

“An open adoption,” her dad says, “thank you. I know we would be more comfortable with that.”

 

The social worker is happy to hear the decision Kelli-Anne made. Paperwork is drawn up. Derrick is contacted. There is a worry that he might balk at signing the papers. He surprises them.

 

“This is right. I can’t be no father. Mr. Fraser, I know you will be good at it. If is best for the kid.” He signs and leaves.  He doesn’t hold or even look at the baby.

 

“They have three months to change their minds,” this social worker is saying, “you can’t take the baby out of the country until after that time. A perfunctory home check will be done, a background check on both you. As this is a private adoption and you are both responsible adults in good careers, there should be no issues. Someone will be out tomorrow. Give you time to gather baby gear. Congratulations, it’s a boy.”

 

“We can just leave with him?”

 

“He needs a car seat, but yes.” She smiles at Claire, “You will do fine, mama.”

 

How do you thank someone for the gift of a child? They say the words, hug them. Kelli-Anne and her parents hold James one more time. The hospital brings up a car seat. “A gift for all new parents “ it is explained. A diaper bag full of tiny diapers and formula, and bottles, goes over Jamie’s  shoulder. James is strapped into the car seat.

 

They walk out.

[flautistsandpeonies]

AITA For Sticking Up For My Mother Against My Father and Foster Sibling?

Alternative title: The Grandmaster of Assholes

You can also read this on my Wordpress.

Tags: Not For JC Fans, JC Canon Characteristics, JC Canon Homophobia, JC Canon Misogyny, Not For Madam Yu Fans, Madam Yu Canon Characteristics, Alternate Universe: Modern AU, a slight attempt at humor for me

Word Length: 2,757

Time to Read: 16 Minutes

Chapter Summary: Jiang Cheng posts on the AITA Reddit

Right, so last week I (22M) got into a fist fight with my foster sibling (22M) after my father (52M) called him and told him to come back to our house. The bastard ended up breaking my arm, and now I have to wear a cast for an entire month. My mother (52F) and father are now arguing about my mom taking legal action against him.

Some context:

My foster brother has always been an annoying and tedious ass. He always loves causing trouble and trying to show me up cause he was born into a poor, nomadic family and I was born quite wealthy. My dad brought him into our home thirteen years ago after his parents died in some car crash or something, I don’t care to remember, and his parents had my father as a guardian on his papers since they were both orphans.

My dad has never loved me, and has always favored my foster brother. He spent more time with my brother when we were young, taking him to what he claimed was physical therapy but I knew he just wanted to spend some alone time with him. On the contrast, my father rarely even looks at me, and if we are near each other he’s scolding me over something I have no control over- like being like my mother or not doing everything “like the family motto”.

My father has also never loved my mother. They got together in an arranged marriage (I don’t want any comments about how “traditional” and “old school” it was, mind your damn business) and my father has never given my mother the time of day. Despite having two kids with her (I have an sister (25F), they don’t even sleep in the same wing of the mansion and don’t spend any time together.

Anyway, my mom threw my foster brother out when we were seventeen after he stole first place in a contest from me. It was a special event held by our mutual family vocations and I was the only heir to not get a prize; he just had to show me up in front of everybody, again!

The son of a bitch was so full of himself that instead of waiting until my father got home that night to let him inside, he took a bus a few towns over to go stay with his friend (Wen Ping or something). Serves him right though, cause my mom had the locks changed the next day.

After that, my dad got so angry with my mom, saying that one of his colleagues, who we’ll call WRH threatened to go to the media about our family abusing 🙄🙄🙄 my foster brother if my dad didn’t sign guardianship over to him. My parents fought for such a long time over that, it was even worse than the normal fights my brother caused. It got so bad that my sister left the house to stay with her fiance’s family.

In the end, my father did end up signing guardianship over to WRH, and you would think that my life would get better after that, but no, it got worse!

When my foster brother started living with WRH he started to show up everywhere in our family’s social circles for academic rewards and flute recitals. It was like WRH had adopted him as his son or some shit; it was ridiculous.

My mom was so angry cause my foster brother was clearly trying to show me up again, cause my father wouldn’t dare showcase my achievements like that and he knew it.

Back to the present. My father claimed that he called my foster brother here after all these years to get his shit that my father refused to allow my mother to throw away- seriously, his trash has just been sitting in a room all these years collecting dust- now that he was getting married to his fiance and moving in with him. (I had no idea the man was gay, ugh.)

I know that had to be a lie though cause I have a big event coming up that I prepared a speech for, and my foster brother is going to be present as his fiance’s plus one. (Blergh). My father had read over my speech, and told me it was “too confrontational and lacking regard for the other familys’ beliefs and history”. (I told you he never approved of me.)

Anyway, my mom and I caught them red-handed after we came back from shopping for new suits for the event. My foster brother was on the front lawn with a woman we’ll call WQ and Wen Ping loading his trash into a moving van. My dad was handing him a file box, and I knew it had to have all my speeches and work plans in it.

My mom knew too and started arguing with my father about trying to sabotage me again. My father, as usual, denied it, and even raised his voice at her. She started going in on my foster brother as well. However, my foster brother had learned to disrespect my mother from somewhere (I’m betting it was WRH) and was talking back to her saying that she “had no power over him anymore.” and “wasn’t worth his time”.

I fucking lost it and tackled him then and there. We ended up tussling all the way into the front yard’s fountain and he broke my arm over the statue. I remember almost fucking drowning while that son of a bitch took everything and left.

My mom was so fucking pissed she’s going to take him to court for robbery and assault. I’d like to see WRH get him out of that.

So, that’s all that happened. I’m having my room’s maid type this for me as it is, but I really need her to get back to work. I don’t really care about comments; I already know I was in the right in this situation, I just needed somewhere to vent really.

...

Comments:

That-One-Lizard: Wait, so your mom threw your foster brother out of the house when he was 17? For winning a competition??? -Original Poster: He wasn’t supposed to win. It should have been my trophy, but he got in the way. Weren’t you paying attention? --That-One-Lizard: Dude.....he was 17...... ---Original Poster: And? I mean he was honestly lucky she didn’t beat him with the family’s discipline whip; that’s what she normally does when he shows me up. She was just tired after a long night and didn’t want to deal with him. ----That-One-Lizard: .........No comment......... ----Angel-Food-Cake: What the fuck...... ----Chicken-Elizabeth-Nugget: What the fuck is a discipline whip? Do I even want to know? -----Original Poster: Are you two stupid or something? A discipline whip is exactly what it’s called, a whip for disciplining unruly and traitorous people. ------Angel-Food-Cake: WRH shouldn’t have gone to the media, he should have gone to the police. What the absolute fuck, no wonder he didn’t come back home! Your mother’s a crazy fucking bitch, who does that to a child??!! -------Original Poster: Fuck you!!! How dare you insult my mother!!! --------Chicken-Elizabeth-Nugget : I realize now why your father doesn’t like her. (Click here to continue thread)

Broccoli-Bandit: Gonna need a little bit more context about the foster brother before I can decide. -Original Poster: What more do you need to know?? He ruined my life!!! Broccoli-Bandit: You said he liked causing trouble? --Original Poster: He loves to act like he’s so charitable and shit, like he wasn’t using my family’s money. One time, he even gave his entire allowance away to a beggar woman on the streets and my dad dipped into his own monthly budget to give him more. My parents fought for three days. ---Broccoli-Bandit: ........What the fuck? So he’s a normal human being?? ----Original Poster: What’s normal about wasting money? Also, he was always getting into fights with other men trying to get with women, just so he could be some knight type of character. (Click here to continue thread)

All-Around-Me: You are definitely the asshole for your homophobia alone. -Original Poster: Are you fucking serious? That shit is not normal; what normal person wants to have sex with another man? --All-Around-Me: You’re disgusting. ---Original Poster: Disgusting my ass! My foster brother’s the one that disgusting; it’s like he got possessed or something. I swear he’s not so much as looked at another man in my presence. ----All-Around-Me: Probably cause you’re a homophobic piece of shit??? (Click here to continue thread)

ChaoChao: NTA, that street rat should have known better than to come into better people’s homes and steal fathers’ affection from the blood children. I can’t imagine what the two sons of WRH went through in his household after he came there. -Original Poster: How do you know WRH has two sons? --ChaoChao: None of your fucking business, just take my opinion.

Bi-the-Bi: I feel like the sections about the foster brother are intentionally vague. -Original Poster: What the fuck do you mean vague? I told you everything you need to know! --Bi-the-Bi: You’re just constantly calling him an asshole, and claiming to know all his intentions? The only thing he’s done that we know of is leave after your mom kicked him out (nice mom by the way *sarcasm*) and defended himself after you attacked him. ---Original Poster: I told you he was trying to steal my work. And don’t you dare insult my mother!!! ---- Bi-the-Bi : No, you said you “knew”, which doesn’t immediately mean you were right. That could have been his birth certificate or something, awards from school since you say he was so smart. (Click here to continue thread)

Load More Comments (256)

...

Edit:

Okay, since some people brains can’t seem to function properly I guess I have to give you my entire life story for you to understand “the whole story”.

I (22M) was born to JFM (52M) and YZY (52F). They had JYL (25F) three years before me. My parents were arranged to marry by my mother’s request. Even then my father couldn’t recognize what a woman my mother was and did his best not to marry her, however my grandfathers banded together to make the marriage happen.

My father always made family life hard even before my foster brother got there. He never gave me or my mother attention, claiming that because my mother refused to take on the duties as the house’s madam he had to run both his position and her’s. Instead of supporting my mother’s endeavors, he spoke against her and my mother started going out of the house even more than usual to the point where I only see her for a couple of weeks a month.

Things got even worse when my foster brother (22M) got there. Like I said, his parents died and my father picked him up. My father started spending a lot of time with him. “Doctor appointments” for his legs after the accident, my father claimed, but my mother always showed me the receipts for the hunan restaurants he always took him to on those days.

My foster brother always loved to show me up. He did everything he could to have better grades than me, look better than me, have more friends than me, anything he could think of, he did it. Everyone always fell for his good-boy shtick; everyone, except for me and my mother.

My mother knew that my foster brother was likely my half-brother. His mother was apparently a real whore and got around with a lot of men before she married my dad’s butler and took off. My mother thinks that since my foster brother is only five days older than me, she must’ve snuck back into our home to sleep with my dad when my mom was out one day. My father once got a paternity test, but he paid the doctor off to skew the results to hide the truth.

My father denies that my foster brother is actually my half-brother, but he shows it in how he treats us. He hates my mother, so he hates me, but he loved his mother, so he loves him. Whatever I do can never seem to please him, but my brother can apparently paint a banner with our families crest and motto and my father hangs it up for all to see.

My mother does not tolerate my brother. Whenever he does something foolish or other deserving of punishment, she deals with him the only way she knows how. She has to use physical punish so he’ll learn, and she makes him sleep outside so he’ll remember his place- a half breed will never be allowed to inherit.

Anyway, things came to a head at one of our mutual family conference five years ago. Now that I think about it was WRH’s conference; I bet he set it up for my foster brother to get ahead of me! My foster brother/half-brother stole my trophy from me in front of our entire social circle and embarrassed me in in front of all of my peers.

My father had to stay behind to sort out some matter, and my mother, sister, and I went home. My mom threw my brother out for what he did to me and I took back my trophy from him while he picked himself up out of the lotus pond. We locked the door after that and went to bed. The next morning, my father was looking for him (figures), but we couldn’t find him.

A week later my father up getting a call from WRH’s secretary. My foster/half brother apparently went to his niece’s WQ house and was staying there for the time being. He wanted my father to sign over guardianship of my foster/half brother lest “our reputation be damaged”. My father blamed my mother for everything and they fought again.

My father ended up signing the guardianship over, and that should have been it. My life should have gotten better without him there to ruin it. But, as he was determined to make my life a living hell, he did all he could to put his name out there. I can’t imagine how much money WRH wasted on him. I spent five years continuing to live in his shadow.

It came to a head again just last week. Like I said before, my father was trying to sabotage my speech, giving my foster/half brother a heads up. I knew that if he read my speech he would probably say something to one up me at the conference. My mother knew it too, that’s why she said something. How could I have just stood there while my father and that bastard disrespected her in her own home? I did what I had to do and that son of a bitch broke my arm, so now I’ll see him in court.

Now that I’ve laid the story out more plainly for you will you people stop acting like my foster/half brother is some sort of helpless victim?

...

Comments:

I-Hate-Sabers: ....I’m going to ruin your life. I’m going to ruin your mother’s life. You two are going to wish she never left Meishan. -Original Poster: Who the fuck do you think you are? -Original Poster: Answer me you son of a bitch! -Original Poster: Probably another pussy who’s all talk over the computer but pisses themselves when ordering food.

Emperor-of-the-Smile: Definitely The Asshole. I don’t know what’s funnier: the fact that this piece of shit thinks he’s in the right or the fact that he thinks if he talks more about how he and his mother treated his foster brother like shit we’ll start agreeing with him. -All-Around-Me: I think it’s that he thinks he’s in the right. -Chicken-Elizabeth-Nugget: I think it’s how he’s so far up his own ass he can’t see or smell anything but himself. --Original Poster: Fuck all of you. I put this on here to vent about my frustrations, but you’re making shit up about me that’s not true. (Click here to continue thread)

ChaoChao: Still NTA, am I supposed to feel sympathy for some slutty woman’s orphan son. I mean look at all the trouble he cause people in his life! -First-Born-Sun: Chao-er, shut the fuck up.The only person in our household who doesn’t like Ying-er is you. --ChaoChao: I thought you said reddit was beneath you? ---First-Born-Sun: Not when someone I actually like and respect is mentioned. ----ChaoChao: You just like him cause you want to fuck him!!! -----First-Born-Sun: And? ------Original Poster: Who are you people?!

Plum-Soup: Definitely the Asshole. I don’t know who I feel for more. The father trapped in this abusive arranged marriage, or the foster brother who went from one traumatic situation to the next. -Original Poster: Why should you feel for them at all? My mother and I are the victims here!!! --Plum-Soup: Get help, asshole. (Click here to continue thread)

Lady-Mai: The asshole. Homophobic? Check. Misogynistic? Check. Abusive as all fuck? There’s not enough paper in the world to check this off. -Original Poster: Go fuck yourself!

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Author’s Notes:

Hope you all enjoyed. I’ve never actually been on reddit before and the only posts I’ve seen from it are on tumblr. Hope I did a good job!

Read the Next Chapter

Read My Other Prompts and WIPs [Here]

[antebunny]

Parent Trap AU

...with a side of on-the-run hacker!wwx AU, and celebrity!lwj AU. Full series here.

-

In the end, all the chaos starts because Lan Jingyi gets offended.

“What do you mean you haven’t heard of my uncle?” Lan Jingyi demands. 

He glares down at Wei Sizhui from the top bunk. Lan Jingyi and the other two boys in Wei Sizhui’s cabin got into a fight over who would get the top bunks, and after several heated rounds of rock-paper-scissors, they went to Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen.

“Stop shouting!” Jin Rulan yells from the other side of the room. He yanks his headphones off and directs his own glare at Lan Jingyi, who scowls back.

“He said he hasn’t heard of Hanguang-jun!” Lan Jingyi yells right back.

Jin Rulan frowns. “The singer? So?”

“I’m sorry,” Wei Sizhui interrupts, before they can get into a fight. “My dad and I travel a lot, so I’ve never stuck around in one place long enough…”

Lan Jingyi frowns, this time with suspicion. “What does your dad do?”

“Uh.”

He’s a genius-level hacker wanted for a felony he didn’t commit and he’s been on the run from at least two organizations for the past nine years.

“…He’s a computer engineer.”

“Really?” Ouyang Zizhen perks up from his top bunk. Wei Sizhui knows vaguely that he likes graphic design. “That’s so cool.”

Wei Sizhui smiles weakly. “Yeah. Um.” He tries not to panic thinking about what to say if anyone asks him any more questions about his dad’s job.

Lan Jingyi flounders for only a second. “Still,” he insists. “You guys have heard of him, right?” When Jin Rulan and Ouyang Zizhen both nod, he points his iPhone victoriously at Wei Sizhui. “See?! He’s famous!”

Wei Sizhui shrugs helplessly. He doesn’t know why he hasn’t heard of Hanguang-jun. He suspects that it’s because he moves around so much, he’s never really had the chance to make friends, so all the music he knows is the music his dad listens to. Wei Sizhui knows his dad is doing his best, but sometimes it’s unbearably lonely.

Which is why he’s at this summer camp in the first place. His dad pulled a lot of strings (read: committed a lot of forgery) so that he could make friends. And now it seems he’s already made a mistake in not knowing Lan Jingyi’s (“Well, he’s not really my uncle, but we’re related…somehow”) uncle. 

“But you’ve at least heard his songs,” Lan Jingyi insists. “Like, uh.” He clears his throat, then shoots a look at Jin Rulan, cheeks flushing. “Our Vow? Water Under The Bridge? I Promise? Someone Like You? At First Sight?” He shakes his head in disappointment when Wei Sizhui just continues staring at him blankly. 

“Wait, I’m pulling it up on Spotify,” Ouyang Zizhen chimes in. He rolls over onto his stomach and fishes his phone out of his pocket.

“I can’t believe this,” Lan Jingyi says, still shaking his head. “You’ve at least heard the chorus of Under Moonlight. There’s no way you haven’t.” He clears his throat again, and then clearly chickens out again.

“Go ahead, sing it,” Jin Rulan says, smirking.

Lan Jingyi glares at him, then a thought brightens his face. “Maybe you’ll recognize him!” He whips out his phone and starts typing furiously.

Wei Sizhui opens his mouth to protest, seeing no reason why he would recognize the singer’s face but not their voice, but he’s too late. Lan Jingyi is already clambering down the ladder, and proudly presenting the Google Image results for “Hanguang-jun.” Then Wei Sizhui’s mouth, despite not being closed, really falls open.

“I know him,” he blurts.

“So you do recognize him,” Lan Jingyi says, pleased.

“No, I…” Wei Sizhui stutters. 

Now it’s his turn to fumble for his phone. He opens Photos and taps on Albums, then opens Favorites. At the top, timestapped April 5, 2010, is one of the only photos Wei Sizhui has of his dad. His dad hates being caught on camera, for obvious reasons. Still, Wei Sizhui doesn’t hesitate to open the photo and show it to Lan Jingyi.

Lan Jingyi cranes his neck to peer over Wei Sizhui’s shoulder, and his mouth falls open too.

The photo is a still image of two people. On the left is Wei Wuxian, Wei Sizhui’s adopted dad. He’s dressed in a sharp black suit, a red flower tucked into the right breast pocket. He’s throwing up peace signs for the camera. His arms are draped around the other person from behind, and his smile is blinding. 

The other person is clearly Lan Jingyi’s uncle, Hanguang-jun. The man has the same striking face, the same light brown eyes. He’s dressed in an all-white suit, save for the light blue flower tucked similarly into a pocket. He has the same ribbon wrapped around his wrist. The main difference between the Google Images that Lan Jingyi pulled up and the photo that Wei Sizhui has is that in Sizhui’s, Hanguang-jun is smiling softly.

It’s a wedding photo.

“No way,” Lan Jingyi breathes. “I recognize that guy! My uncle carries around a picture of him in his wallet!”

“Wait, really?” Jin Rulan perks up at this bit of drama, taking his headphones off completely. 

Ouyang Zizhen also perks up, abandoning his quest to find Hanguang-jun’s music. He slides down his ladder, colliding with Jin Rulan’s attempts to get out of his bed. After minimal cursing, both boys make their way to Wei Sizhui’s bed, where Lan Jingyi is still gaping at the photo.

“Wait, that really is Hanguang-jun,” Ouyang Zizhen says. “I guess your dad met him, Sizhui?”

“Oh my god,” Jin Rulan says at the same time. “That’s my uncle.”

This time Jin Rulan is the one to pull out his phone. He scrolls through his videos until he gets to the very beginning, narrating as he goes. “It’s the only video I have of my uncle,” he explains. “My uncle–I mean, my mom’s other brother–doesn’t like to talk about him, because he went to jail like a decade ago–”

At this, Wei Sizhui winces, suddenly remembering why he’s not supposed to talk about his dad with other people. 

“–But my mom does, and she sent this to me,” Jin Rulan finishes.

Finally, he finds the right video, and opens it.

The video was filmed on a 2010’s iPhone, so the video quality is poor. Still, the audio is clear enough when the camera is turned around to view the filmer. The man taking the video has a half-fond, half-exasperated scowl on his face. He’s wearing a violently purple sweater, under which the collar of a black shirt peeks out.

“He’s going to break his legs before I have a chance to break them for him,” the man says, rolling his eyes. “Look.” 

The camera is flipped around, showcasing a staircase and Wei Wuxian, leaning over the railing. Wei Wuxian looks back and grins at the camera. 

“It’s going to work, just you wait,” Wei Wuxian says. 

“I’m going to watch you break your legs,” the man says again.

“Aw, Jiang Cheng, have a little faith,” Wei Wuxian retorts. He leans over the railing again. “Wait, shh! He’s coming!”

Jiang Cheng dutifully falls silent, as Wei Wuxian leans further and further over the railing. 

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian shouts, and then he jumps over the railing.

Jiang Cheng starts running to the stairs, and any and all sounds are drowned out by the background wind noise of the man running. When he stops, he points the camera over the stairs. 

There’s a scattering of books across the hardwood floor, and a man in white, whose face is obscured by Wei Wuxian, held in his arms. Wei Wuxian wraps his arms around the man's neck and twists to look up at the camera. 

“I told you he’d catch me!” Wei Wuxian shouts victoriously.

“You made him drop all his books!” Jiang Cheng shouts back, from behind the camera. 

The camera is flipped back to Jiang Cheng, who’s still rolling his eyes. “Somehow this is my dumbest brother-in-law,” he says. 

“Jiang Cheng, don’t be jealous!” Wei Wuxian shouts from the other floor. “We’ll find you someone one day!”

Jiang Cheng’s face colors purple, and the video ends.

The four boys are silent for a moment.

“So that was Hanguang-jun?” Ouyang Zizhen says, after their moment of silence is over.

“I guess so,” Jin Rulan says. 

“You’re telling me my uncle and your dad were married?” Lan Jingyi demands.

“And he went to jail?” Ouyang Zizhen adds. “Sizhui, what happened there?”

Jin Rulan wrinkles his nose. “Why does your uncle still carry around a photo of him if they split up?”

“Why did they split up?” Lan Jingyi asks. “Was it the jail thing?”

“Seriously, what did he go to jail for?” Ouyang Zizhen asks.

In eerie unison, all three boys put down their phones and look at Wei Sizhui expectantly.

Two weeks into summer camp, and Wei Sizhui has already made his first three friends, and blown his dad’s cover. He’ll be wanted by the FBI after this, for identity forgery, if they aren’t already–Wei Sizhui isn’t entirely clear, and his dad doesn’t clarify.

Wei Sizhui smiles nervously.

“Who did you say your dad was again?” Lan Jingyi asks.

[differentkettleoffishalltogether]

I’m On Fire [Chapter 1]

Summary: With her sister’s wedding fast approaching and her Mom hounding her about finding a date, Y/N makes a terrible decision that lands her and her least favorite genius in a confusing situation.

A/N:  This is the first part in a series, I’ve written the first few chapters already so I’m hoping to update pretty regularly! I hope you guys enjoy, and any feedback is always appreciated! ❤️

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

Category: Fake Dating, Enemies to Lovers, (Eventual) Smut, Fluff, Angst, it’s a Slow Burn Baby

Warnings: None really for this chapter, cursing? Mean-ish Spencer

Word Count: 6.5k

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Series Masterlist

Masterlist 

I wasn’t at the BAU long before it started to feel like home. The team became my family, pure and simple.

Having been recruited by Hotch at only 22 I'd sort of fallen into the roll of the little sister to the team without really meaning to. It's not that I was naive, or particularly sheltered even. I know I'm good at my job, and I'd want to be, given how my life's revolved around it almost entirely. But the team seemed to adopt a protective mindset over me right off the bat.

When I first joined the FBI everything was terrifying. I worked so hard for my PhD, trying to get into the unit, but there's almost nothing that can actually prepare you for the real thing. Being out in action in the field, working the cases out in real time. Sometimes they had a smooth, easy conclusion followed by loud obnoxious drinks together. Then there were the others, the ones that kept me up for days after and felt as though they owned little pieces of my heart still.

It was JJ that helped the most on those horrible flights back on the jet. Noticing my anxious ticks and uneasy disposition after that first case that had ended badly. JJ had been through it all before, taking too many cases home with her. Seeing her son's little faces in the kids that we couldn't help. If I was the baby of the team JJ was the big sister, looking out for everyone.

Morgan on the other hand was the outrageously cool older brother, the one you just wanted to be. Early on he'd helped my weak self with the ruthless fitness regimen the FBI required, he offered to pull some strings and get the test written off. But I couldn't accept that, there was something in me that just wanted to impress Morgan, and honestly still does. Like somehow if he thought you were cool, then it became true. So I passed the exam, but getting up a flight of stairs was near impossible for a week after.

Emily was probably the fun aunt. The one that would sneak you booze at the family gathering, or take you to your first concert. Emily was actually the one who'd found me, digging around colleges for potential recruits she'd had me picked out for a while I later found out. Insisting that Hotch give me a shot. It was reassuring to know I had someone who would stick up for me from day one.

I was an tech analyst, among other things, sort of a counterpart for Garcia in the field. So it was no surprise to anyone when the two of us hit it off as though we'd known each other forever. We weren't the same by any means though. Penelope was bold, and bright, and confident beyond measure, where I've typically felt like more of a blend into the background type. I've always thought of myself that way, despite my achievements. I'd also always believed I was fairly inoffensive, no one I'd met had ever had a huge problem with me, 'till I got to the BAU that is.

Every rose has its thorn I suppose.

That thorn in my side was Dr. Spencer Reid.

It wasn't that Dr. Reid was a bad agent, or even a bad person. I hadn't actually met him before that first day in the conference room, but I'd known who he was for a long time. Before I came along he'd held the mantle of 'youngest ever recruit' in the unit, while I was studying I'd read any of his work I could get my hands on because of that fact.

I figured it must've been some sort of hazing when he looked me up and down that first day I was introduced, and then proceeded to blank me entirely for a full week. Up until I'd wrapped my first case.

The whole team went straight from the jet to the bar. Proceeding to get far too drunk. Spencer joined, which the rest of the team found unusual, and I probably should've taken as a sign of things to come.

That case went well, and everyone was in high spirits but Reid had a sour disposition, at least it seemed that way every time he looked at me. After a few too many drinks I went outside in an attempt to sober up in the cold air, unfortunately Reid must've snuck outside not long before.

"Ugh" was all he said when he first caught my silhouette approaching him. The night was unusually cold so it had been deserted outside the bar that evening. I wasn't really sure why it made me nervous to be alone with him like this, the two of us leaning back against the same small area of brick wall, looking out at the cold night.

"Nice to see you too doctor" was all I could muster, I was drunk enough that I let my sarcastic tone leap out, "you can relax, I'm just trying to get some fresh air, it's too stuffy in there, and loud. I'm not here to talk to you or anything."

"Well aren't you a sensitive thing" he responds in kind, at that point I wasn't really sure if it was a coincidence or if he'd been genuinely avoiding me, but things were starting to clear up.

"I'm sensitive, that's a fun take on things" I joke, taking a long sip of cold water from my glass.

"And what's that supposed to mean, newbie?" his emphasis on the last word all but confirms my suspicions.

"Fuck man, what's your problem with me? Is it because I'm new, or because I beat your stupid record?" I quip. hoping that at the very least it might coax him out of his shell. Dr. Spencer Reid getting angry at me could honestly be better than the nothing I'd been experiencing from him until now.

"What stupid record?" he sounds genuinely confused

"I'm the youngest BAU recruit now?" I didn't know why else he could be so sour. He'd never met me before last week, and since he'd ignored me that first day I'd done all I could not to step on his toes. So if he had a reason to hate me this much, it wasn't something I'd done on purpose.

He takes a few moments to respond, raising his eyebrows and considering the information. He chuckles. He fucking chuckles.

"That's funny." he says, his voice leveling out, "I didn't peg you as funny newbie" that word sets something off in me again. Something about it is dismissive, or belittling. Before I could fight back he starts to move, maneuvering around me and heading back inside. A little too tipsy to think of anything constructive to say, I just mutter "Fuck you Spencer."

He swings open the door, as he walks inside he just says "See you Monday, Newbie" without even looking at me.

And that was only the beginning.

----

"You know I'm just trying to make sure you get enough rest sweetheart. There's no need to get so defensive!" it was far too early in the morning to be dealing with this call. Since joining the BAU a few years ago this was a standard call from my Mom. Equal parts well meaning and over-bearing, and generally asking far too many questions.

"I'm not getting defensive Mom, I get plenty of rest, my job is just very important to me and you know that." I knew she was right to be at least a little worried, this job was consuming, and in all honesty I wasn't sure how people like JJ were married and still here. It seemed like an impossible feat.

"Fine sweetie, how are your co-workers doing then? How's Penelope? Give her my love" she loved Penelope, I think she thought that Penelope tethered me to the normal world, and in a way she was right. She kept me sane, and fun, and made me eat pizza and do face masks once a week at least. Even when I didn't think I wanted to.

"Pen's great Mom, everyone's good. Well, the usual ones get on my nerves, but I'm fine." As I say it I glance across at Dr. Reid, the only person who's also in as early as I am most days. I'm not sure if he can hear me but he's tapping his pen so loud on his desk that it takes all of my energy not to walk across the bullpen and stab him with it.

"Y'know what Mom, I'm actually just after getting to work and it's a busy day so can I call you back later?" I chance, getting her off the phone is always an ordeal.

"Fine, fine, I'll let you go. But wait one last thing!"

I knew what was coming. It was always coming.

"Are you seeing anyone, Margot's been wondering too, just thought I'd check in?"

Pinching the bridge of my nose and trying not to scream down the line, I just sigh out the frustration instead.

"No Mom, believe it or not, I've made no progress on that front since you asked me all of 3 days ago."

"See you are being defensive!" she snaps

"I gotta go, bye Mom. Love you!" I say, hanging up quickly before dropping my head down into my arms on my desk, resting like that for a few moments in silence.

Hearing Garica chuckle behind my ear I perk up and spin around. She's holding a small paper cup of coffee and hands it to me. I look at it confused, "Sorry about the paper, I couldn't find your mug in the cabinet" she apologizes, looking over at Dr. Reid and rolling her eyes. Now I know he can hear me from his seat, he takes that moment to sip from my mug and place it gently back on his desk.

It hadn't taken long for him to start toying with me. It was always stupid childish things. Things I couldn't get genuinely annoyed at, that would give him far too much satisfaction, knowing he was getting to me in any real way. This was one trick he liked to play if he got into the office before me, he'd take my mug and make his coffee in it, just to spite me I guess.

"Why does he even do that, it's so stale" she said, just a little louder than normal to make sure he could hear. Garcia and Reid were still good friends and team-mates but she liked to stand up for me when she could. He liked to avoid me as much as possible so he'd usually go to Garcia before me if he needed help with something. Even when the two of us were out in the field together. Which was obnoxious but it was just another thing I'd gotten used to over time. And as long as it didn’t interfere with the case I just forced myself to let it go.

"I know it's such low grade bullying isn't it?" I shot back with a chuckle.

"So I'll take it that was Mommy dearest" Penelope gestures to my phone. She knew my Mom, and she knew about her general overbearing energy. I let out a groan thinking about the call again, and the calls that were to come.

"Isn't it always Mommy dearest?" I joke

"So she's still on your ass about the wedding then?" I'm sure Penelope was almost as sick of hearing about it as I was,

"Margot's getting married in like 4 months now, and every time Mom calls there’s just some new hometown loser she wants to set me up with Pen. It's fucking exhausting" I take a sip of the coffee she made me, savoring the bitter taste. She sits down on my desk for a moment, leaning in.

"Honey, did you ever think that if you got out there and found someone, she wouldn't be on your ass at all?" I don't want to think about that, about how she's completely right. All I can do is let out another small groan and lean back down onto my desk.

"Too early Pen" I say, it's muffled by the desk but she gets the message. Hopping up and heading to her own office as some more people start to arrive for the morning.

Leaving me alone to make a start on my paperwork that had built up throughout the week. Fridays were usually slow like this, giving me a little too much time to think. I couldn't shake the thought that my Mom and Penelope were actually right. Maybe I was a bit too invested in the job, and maybe that was a pretty big factor in why my last relationship imploded but I wasn't about to admit that to anyone.

----

After that the day crawls by, thankfully no cases pop up so the weekend might actually be free. Trying to make sure I clear up all of my paperwork takes a little longer than I'd hoped and leaves me alone in the bullpen. It seems like everyone's gone home by the time I've packed up and I'm ready to leave. Which wasn't as out of the ordinary as I'd like it to be really. Everyone else seemed to have somewhere to be on a Friday night.

Waiting for the elevator to arrive my phone started to ring, I could see my Mom's caller ID on the screen. If I just let it go I know she'll call back later, may as well get it out of the way. I take a deep breath in anticipation before I answer.

"Hey what's up?" I answer, stepping inside the elevator as the doors ping open.

"Hi sweetie, I've got good news! Do you remember David? That lovely boy, he helped out your Father that summer in high school?" I know what's coming and rub my temple, trying to stifle the headache I know is coming. As I answer a hand slides between the elevator doors, popping them open again.

Dr. Fucking Reid walks in, and he looks about as happy to see me as I am to see him. I make eye contact and look away just as fast, willing him away with my mind. "Yes Mom, I remember him, why are you telling me this?" I already know the answer but I'm fed up, she still sounds excited when she responds.

"Well you won't believe it! I ran into him at the market this morning and I thought you'd like it if I passed on your phone number to him, maybe for the weddi-" it took all I had not to shout into the receiver, and maybe I would've had the elevator been empty.

"Mom! Jesus!" I have to reign myself in, but I have a bad idea, "You know what, I'm actually sorted. I've got a date lined up now" I'm not sure why I said it with no real plan in place. She sounds even more excited than I've ever heard her.

"Oh my, that's amazing sweetie! That was fast, I can't believe you found one since this morning, it's someone from work so?" she assumes, and I'm just not thinking fast enough to correct her.

"Mmhmm, yeah" I'll figure out the logistics later I rationalize.

"Oh! Is it that boy you're always on about, the one who teases you?" she asks, and her voice is full of joy, and it makes me feel horrible that I'm lying already, and that I'm going to let her down.

"Yup, that's the one, look Mom I gotta go, I'll talk to you later! Night" I blurt out so fast it has to be obvious I'm nervous.

I can hear a stifled chuckle behind me. Fuck. How loud is my phone speaker. Could he hear that. Surely not. But this elevator was completely silent. The doors open and I have to stop myself from running to my car at top speed. Instead I walk out just a little faster than normal, turning around to shoot him a small wave goodbye. And he's got this devious smirk on his face that makes my stomach turn.

Sitting into my car I pull out my phone to text Garcia immediately.

I'm on my way to yours right now. It's urgent.

——

Traffic's light so it takes maybe 10 minutes before I arrive at Garcia's place. My mind's racing and my body takes me there on autopilot. Why did I say any of that, why did I even answer the damn phone. Why did I wave goodbye to Spencer, I never usually did that. Maybe that's why he had that look on his face. Maybe he was just thinking of something funny that happened earlier and it had nothing to do with me at all. That was something he'd do to mess with me for sure.

How was I going to walk this back with my Mom, she was just gonna have more questions that I couldn't answer. Fuck.

Garcia buzzed me up and her door was open for me by the time I got up the stairs. This little purple apartment had become my second home. It was where I spent most of my evenings off, laughing on the same sofa I was collapsing face first into right now. Garcia nestles in beside me and runs her hand over my hair, "Hey sweet pea, what's happening? I don't want to sound too concerned but you're not giving me much to go off? Are you dying, is there drama? You're going to have to tell me what's so urgent before I burst a blood vessel?"

I let out a muffled, "is drahmuh" into the pillow, Garcia shakes my shoulders.

"Sit up babe, damn!" I have to heave myself out of the pillows, sitting upright on the sofa beside her, clutching one of the pillows in my arms.

"It's drama" I repeat,

"Well, out with it then, you know I'll take all the drama I can get! Spill, spill" she rushes me along. I'm already apprehensive, Reid's her coworker too, but if anyone would understand why this was such an issue it was gonna be her.

"Okay, I'm after doing something stupid and I think I really need your advice" I cringe already, thinking back to the elevator, throwing out my words faster, I continue the story, mostly trying to get it over with, "my Mom called again when I was on the way out tonight and she was trying to set me up with this guy, and Reid was there, and I got all flustered, and I told her I had a date already" I throw my head down into the pillow again.

"Wait why was Reid there?" she looks like she's trying to fit puzzle pieces together and she's getting nowhere, "And what's the drama?"

"Shit Garcia, it was in the elevator and it was all quiet, and maybe he heard the call, maybe he didn't but he had this fuckin' look on his stupid face" I can't shake the smug little smirk, it's burned inside my eyelids. Garcia's face falls in what looks like disappointment.

"Ugh Y/N! That's nothing chill out, why does it matter if he heard your call? I know you guys are all weird but none of that is any of his business anyway!" she shoo's her hand in the air, dismissing the whole situation.

"No Garcia, it is his business now" I have to close my eyes when I say it, I can't look at her "I told my Mom that he was my date, well, I didn't say his name or anything, she assumed it was someone from work and so I just agreed, and then she suggested that it was him and then I fucking panicked Pen, I fucked up so bad. What do I do?"

I finally opened my eyes to look up at Garcia. She was sitting in pure silence, pursing her lips in what seemed like contemplation. The puzzle pieces finally slotting together. It's as though a light bulb goes off behind her eyes and she bursts out in fits of laughter. Doubling over on herself before finally taking a few breaths to calm herself down. I'm honestly not sure why she finds the whole thing so funny, she know's how needlessly annoying he's made my life, she's seen it first hand and heard me talk about it over and over again in this very apartment over pizza.

"Garcia, this is not fucking funny! This is serious!" I try to calm her down, I need advice not whatever this is.

"I'm so sorry Y/N, I love you dearly. But this isn't funny, this is hilarious. It's like you're Sandra Bullock in some mid-90's rom com. I love it" I don't love it, in fact I hate it. I nearly snap at her but pull myself back.

"Pen, come on, help me out. What do I do with this, how do I fix it?" I plead.

She stops laughing and pulls out her phone, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm going to order us a pizza, and we're gonna sort this thing out together, sound good?" I just nod and collapse back into the sofa. I think I feel better now that I've gotten it out in the open.

----

Penelope makes us tea while we wait for the pizza, she keeps lemon & ginger in her cabinet for me, just like I keep mint for her. The warm mug and the steam calm me down. After a few minutes alone to think about it I start to figure it out a little better. I figure I can just lie to my Mom for a while, it might suck but I can pretend for a bit and then make up some excuse as to why he can't come closer to the time. Then I can just bring Garcia instead and everyone's happy. I'm about to float my plan to her there's a knock on her door. I was so caught up that I hadn't really noticed quite how starving I'd gotten. Leaping up of the sofa to grab the door.

I swing it open but it's not the pizza guy. Somehow it's the opposite of the pizza guy, my worst nightmare is on the other side of the door. He must notice my eyes blow completely wide. "Y/N!" he says, more of a statement than a question really, like he's telling himself that he's actually seeing me in the doorway. I'm not as gentle.

"What the fuck are you doing here Reid?!" I can't even disguise my anger. He seems a little flustered, like he's got absolutely no idea how to proceed.

"Um, uh, is Garcia here? I can, um, I can just come back later?" he swallows hard and shakes his head, before I can agree and tell him to get lost Penelope races to the door, pulling it wide open.

"Nope, that won't be necessary Doctor! Come on in, you're right on time sweetheart" she waves him in and he walks past me, his demeanor changing almost instantly. He's smug, like he's won whatever battle this was. And I hate it. Though he's still as confused as me despite the newfound attitude. Reid sits down on the sofa, right where I had been sitting. I bite my tongue and sit on the opposite end.

"Are you okay Garcia?" he asks with a genuine concern, "What's going on, what was the emergency?". He's not stupid, he knows she's not in danger now that he's here. But he wants answers. I don't know that I've ever seen him this confrontational with anyone, well anyone but me. The entire time I’m staring her down as she sits in the armchair opposite the two of us. My keys are in my pocket and my car's right outside. I could just jump up and make a break for it. Escape.

"You know what Doc, you won't believe it but I'm not actually the one with the emergency" she takes a beat, and I'm starting to think that I might understand why people murder other people after all these years, "Y/N has something urgent she needs to talk to you about" she's silent for another moment, and she almost looks giddy, "Actually Spencer, you might already know a little something about the matter already, now that I think about it" she smirks, and it's pure joy.

My keys are in my hand ready to bolt when the doorbell chimes again. "Oh, that'll actually be the pizza this time, if you two will excuse me" she hops up out of the armchair and races to the door, leaving the two of us alone in a horrible silence. The tension is almost too much, I want to speak but I really have no idea what to say, or how to even start saying it. But he starts.

"Y/N what's going on, I feel like I'm out of the loop here? What am I missing?" he asks, and there's something uncharacteristically genuine about the way he says it, but he can't turn to look at me as he speaks. I almost want to let my guard down and just have a conversation but I can’t force myself to do it. "Shut up Reid." is all I mutter, folding my arms across my chest.

He turns sharply on the sofa to face me. "Hey Y/N. Believe it or not I'm about as happy as you with whatever kind of Parent Trap situation Garcia's got going on here. But from what I'm picking up on you've got a problem and I'm supposed to be able to help with it. So do you want to tell me what's going on or not? I can just go?" I can see that there's an anger bubbling right below the surface, threatening to burst. I know I shouldn't but I let him stew in silence for a little too long and he jumps up off the sofa.

"Y'know what, typical" he mutters, rolling his eyes as he says it, "this is all about you." he throws his bag over his shoulders and begins to walk towards the door. Something in me just snaps.

"All about me?! Are you fucking kidding? I've been tip-toeing around you for years, ever since I joined this damn unit!" I shout as Garcia comes back into the room, pizza box and plates in her hands.

"So, who's hungry?" Garcia asks, trying to break the tension, or pretending there's no tension at all. Reid shakes his head in disbelief and rubs his temple before he speaks again, "Actually I was just gonna head out" he gestures to the door, "I'm clearly not wanted here so I'm gonna leave you guys to it." Spencer makes a move to leave but Garcia grabs the strap of his shoulder bag, yanking him back ever so slightly before he really has the chance to escape.

"You are going absolutely nowhere kid" She points back to the sofa, "get back there" she glances to me, staring with far too much intensity. "You too, sit." Her voice is more stern than I've ever heard it, even while we were on a case. I can't help but obey her command and I sit back down on the sofa in silence. Followed by Reid, clearly processing the same uneasy feeling of a serious Penelope.

She sits opposite the two of us again. "Y/N, Spencer, I love the two of you with all of my heart, albeit separately, and I would die for either one of you. But you've got to chill the hell out!" she says it like she's had it bottled up forever. The tension that releases from her as she says it looks euphoric.

She opens up the pizza box and lays it on the coffee table and takes out a slice for herself. Taking a bite she leaves the two of us in stunned silence. Once she finishes the mouthful she turns to me specifically, "Y/N you tell him, or I will." dead serious. And the feeling in my belly is like I've just fallen down an elevator shaft.

My stomach is in knots as I turn to Spencer on the sofa next to me. His face is puzzled and I think I might be able to make out pure terror in his expression. I don't know that I've ever been looked at like this before and my stomach screws up tighter. I have to take a deep breath and I can't believe I'm about to say it. "Fuck it" I have to take another breath almost immediately so I just have to force the rest out, "I don't know if you heard the call I was on while we were in the elevator earlier?" I look up to gauge his reaction and I can see his face relax, and worse than that, one corner of his mouth lifts into a sort of smile. It's a look of pure smug satisfaction and I think I might scream. I have to close my eyes because I really don't think I can look at that face as I say the next part.

"My sister is getting married in a few months and my Mom's been on my ass to find a date for the wedding and she keeps trying to set me up with these losers, so I fucking panicked, and I told her you were my date." by the time the sentence is out my eyes have screwed up so tight it feels like I have to pry them open.

He sits in silence for too long. Thinking, maybe?

"So I'm the boy who teases you then?" he grins. So he did hear. And he did laugh. He looks far too self satisfied. Now he knows he's right. He knows I've talked to my Mom about him, that he's gotten in my head. I can tell from his smile that he's savoring the moment. Mostly because I can't slap the smug smile off his face I drop my head into my hands. In an effort to disappear I guess.

"So," he says, taking a moment, "is that all you wanted to say then?" he asks, lighthearted and obnoxious, back to his usual self. I snap back to reality, shooting my head back up.

"What do you mean is that all?" I throw back genuinely shocked,

"Is that all you had to say Y/N? Can I go now? It's a long bus ride home y'know" he smirks but makes no effort to move. He can't possibly be making me do this.

"Well no, obviously!" I stutter, "I mean, are you, will you, uh?" I can't bring myself to say it out loud. He leans in on the sofa looking directly at me, refusing to break eye contact.

"Did you have something you wanted to ask me Y/N?" I just want to smack that fucking look off his face,

"Fuck you Spencer Reid" I almost whisper under my breath, but Garcia snaps me back to reality.

"Hey!" she looks at me, stern again, "Ask him." it's not a question, or a suggestion, it's a command.

"Fine okay" I scrunch my eyes up again, "Will you come to my sisters wedding with me as my fake boyfriend?" I curl up into myself as I say it, I can almost feel the bile rising up from my stomach. Like I'm having a biological reaction to the whole thing.

Reid crosses his arms and sinks back on the sofa, like he's performing the act of thinking. He's considering my offer to make me squirm.

When he finally speaks he says "Well I would Y/N, but I really fail to see what's in it for me" he's after getting cocky now.

Garcia pipes up, excited, "Oh, Oh! I know! I have an idea!" she interjects, "Spencer remember how a while ago, back after your apartment flooded you were all all worried about your antique books and prints and stuff?" he nods, "Well Y/N could digitize the collection for you as a back up? I know you're a technophobe? C'mon Y/N, you know you could do that no sweat, and it would take you a lifetime alone Spencer?" I really don't want to admit it but she's right. Even I knew Reid was adverse to any technology that wasn't vital, but it was your specialty. And maybe that was a good trade off, a job like that would be near impossible for him to pull off without help. I take a glance over at Reid and he seems to have had the same train of thought as me. He lets out an exaggerated sigh and relaxes his posture.

"Fine, I guess that's a fair trade. I'm in." he resigns and I almost can't believe it. I'm barely processing the whole conversation as he sticks his hand out to me, I'm confused for a second before I grab it and shake it firmly. Condemning myself to whatever's about to happen. And it's not the time to be thinking about it but maybe this is the first time Spencer and I have ever touched? But I shove that thought away.

Garcia's positively beaming and she's not even trying to hide it. "Now it's like you're both in a Sandra Bullock movie, oh, but you're Hugh Grant maybe?" she points to Reid.

"Don't push it" I shoot in her direction, taking a slice of pizza, now that my anxiety stomach has sort of passed.

Once the pizza's been eaten in near completely awkward silence Spencer stands up off the sofa. His unsure demeanor has returned and he looks nervous. "I actually should get going this time" he says but Garcia pipes up to protest,

"No, it's not even late!"

"It takes me a while to get back home, thank you though Pen. For... this?" he gestures to the whole living room, "Night" he waves. He's almost made it to the door before I stand up out of my seat. I'm not really sure what comes over me, maybe it's gratitude, maybe it's guilt, or maybe I'm just exhausted.

"Wait Spencer. Let me give you a ride home?" I ask and it's like it's not even me saying it .

"Thanks, but I think I can make it home just fine" he dismisses, and there’s an antagonizing tone in his voice that snaps me right back to our usual rapport.

"I'm trying to do a nice thing here, fuck! Just let me do something nice!" I snap, and he throws his arms up in surrender.

"Fine alright, if it'll make you feel better"

"Fuck you Reid" I mutter under my breath and I sort of hope that he does hear me really. If he's gonna be hostile about this I can be too. I give Garcia a hug goodbye but I'm going to scold her for this whole thing later.

----

I lead the way outside and climb into my car, Spencer hops into the passenger seat and it feels as strange as always to be alone with him. Especially because it's not an accident, and it's not in work. Maybe this was a horrible idea. He seems like he's unwilling to break the silence, so I just get it over with.

"Where the hell do you live man? I'm gonna need directions." I say, as deadpan as I can muster, which probably isn't all that intimidating.

"Sorry, yeah, so you're gonna want to turn on the ignition" he teases. I definitely wasn't intimidating enough.

"Don't push it" I say, turning to give him a cruel stare, he just reacts with a smirk, that same one from the elevator earlier.

"Oh, I'm pushing it?" he asks, feigning disbelief

"I'll kick you out of this damn car" is all I can think to say. He barely responds, he just lets out a soft chuckle. I want to ask 'what's so funny' but he speaks before I can get the words out.

"I can't believe you talk to your Mom about me" he continues to laugh. That's enough.

"You know what Reid, of course I have! I work with actual murderers on a daily basis and somehow you've been the only real source of friction in my life since I joined the BAU!" He stops giggling a little, but not entirely, he looks like he's making an effort to contain himself.

"I'm sorry. I guess I just never knew I got to you like that" he still finds the whole thing amusing, but I sure as hell don't.

"Directions, now" I demand, looking straight out the front windshield.

"Fine, keep going straight on this road for a while and I'll tell you when to turn" he says, finally playing nice.

The two of us drive silently for most of the journey, the radio playing softly in the background. Eventually we arrive outside his building, and it's nicer than I thought it would be. But I have no idea what I was really basing that on. For some reason it hadn't occurred to me that Dr. Reid lived in an actual home, I had pictured him sleeping upside down in a cave maybe, or in a cryogenic chamber with all the other life-like genius robots.

"So," he says, breaking the silence, "When is this wedding?"

"4 months from now, in and around" I respond, matter of factly. Spencer nods, taking it in.

"Alright, so I've got 4 months, in and around, to learn enough to convincingly pass as your loving boyfriend. Doesn't sound so difficult." he jokes, his tone harsh and sarcastic.

"Look Spencer, I know this is insane and honestly kind of stupid. But in all seriousness, you can back out right now if you're not on board with whatever this is. I'm telling you this is the last exit ramp." I try to say it with sincerity, giving him a genuine out if he's not comfortable with the weird set-up that Penelope pulled on us both. He thinks on it for a moment and shakes his head.

"So how are we gonna do this?" he asks, and I really thought he was going to back out. So I don't have an actual answer.

"Well, I uh, I haven't really given a plan much thought. How about I come over and start working on some of the stuff you want digitized like Garcia mentioned and I can use the time to give you the footnotes on my life?" I suggest, at least that would make it easier to knock things out all at once. Rather than having to spend even more of my free time with Reid than necessary. He looks content with the improvised plan.

"Alright, sounds good." he undoes his seatbelt and opens the door to hop out of the car before turning back to me, "Are you coming inside or what?"

— —

Next Chapter

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 8

Cult girl and Hannibal go through an exhaustive list of potential adoptive couples. 

@wisesandwichshark

Trigger warning: sexual harassment, christianity, discussion of pregnancy and family planning, adoption, murder and cannibalism 

Step two: find an adoptive family.

Some would say your list of expectations for potential adoptive parents was too extensive. Impossible for any human to reach. But it was really just the bare minimum.

Regardless of if they were two men, two women, one of each, or a few people, the parents had to be trustworthy. It wasn't easy to earn Hannibal's trust, but he could recognize those who had the capacity to right away. It was a little instinct you had dubbed 'friend or food'.

On paper, the apostolic pastor and his wife of 19 years seemed like the perfect candidates. The adoption agency tried to push them on you, as they had a great track record with adopting from them prior. Three boys, all of which were honors students.

Hannibal insisted on a formal introduction, during which you could conduct a proper, though surreptitious, interview. It was an invitation to dinner.

He invited the couple into his office, where a pot of tea and an interrogation was waiting for them. Then there was you. Barely-pregnant little [F/N], feeling entirely safe so long as your fiancé was beside you.

"You're doing the right thing, y'know." The woman, who introduced herself as Mrs. Landon, said upon meeting you.

"How do you mean?" You asked, already knowing the answer.

"All god's life is precious." She said, placing a hand on your not-even-remotely-showing-yet stomach. "You're walking in obedience to the lord by giving this child a shot at life."

Strike one: bringing up religion unprompted. Strike two: touching me without asking first.

You wanted to swat her hand away, but remembered that patience was a virtue. She and her husband took a seat across from you.

"Y'know," The man began, his mannerisms eerily similar to those of his wife. "I don't usually begin with the god talk, but I think a higher power had to have been involved in the conception of this- well, our child. I'd like to think the good lord brought us together today."

Strike three: already believes he is entitled to my child. You're outta here.

"Don't flatter the adoption agency like that, Jacob." Hannibal chuckled, placing his teacup on the side table.

"I'm serious, Dr. Lecter." Jacob interjected. "Faith and I really do believe that god put us on this earth to prepare his smallest soldiers for the spiritual war."

You shot Hannibal a side glance that said 'can we please just eat them now?'.

The answer was no. Hannibal liked to play with his food.

"And your adult children have all moved out?" He asked.

"That's right." Jacob nodded. "We have plenty of room in our five-bedroom house for the new little slugger to run around in."

"And if it's a girl!" The wife interrupted. "We have enough closet space for all the denim maxi-skirts money could buy."

Strike four: arbitrarily genders the behavior of a nine-week-old embryo.

The man then returned the teacup to the table, not bothering to use the saucer and instead leaving a nasty ring of condensation on the polished mahogany.

"Okay." Hannibal huffed, resignedly rising from his seat. He pulled two hypodermic needles from his back pocket and carefully, subtly stuck them onto the couples' necks. They couldn't even scream.

The tacos al pastor that followed (after a few days of marinating, of course) were exquisite.

The next week brought a new couple to your doorstep. Frank and Angela, they were named. Their claim to fame was that their oldest son played football for one of those big southern party schools. Either Auburn or Alabama. There was hardly a difference.

You sat for what felt like hours listening to the man speak in unintelligible football babble, waiting for him to take a breath. Surprisingly, it was the mom who got him to finally shut up.

"Frank, please." She said with more frustration than this one situation even remotely warranted. Either she had enough intuition to know she was being tested, or she’d spent the last decade putting up with this. Possibly both. "You're boring our hosts to death."

"What? No way! She loves it!" Frank replied, then turned to you. Not to Hannibal, just you. “Aren’t you having a great time, sweetheart?” 

Strike one: takes advantage of the female socialization to be passive and polite, allowing himself to take up the most space.

You shook your head. “I hate football.” 

His wife looked quite pleased with herself. 

“Angie, I just wanted her to know what good breeding her son is going to have.” He said, without a lick of irony or self-awareness. He eyed you up and down and licked his lips. “And it is mutual, I see.” 

The room went quiet as everyone tried to determine whether he was serious or if it was just a fucked-up joke. The longer the silence lingered, the more you realized he wasn’t kidding. Angela looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

“I don’t know what the agency told you, Mr. Wyatt,” Hannibal said, trying not to grit his teeth. “She isn’t a surrogate. She’s already pregnant.” 

Frank’s jaw hung dumbly open. “I thought you were looking for a sperm donor? I just-” 

“No.” You cut him off, raising your hand and covering your face. “I don’t want to know what you thought.” 

“Well, I would!” Angela interjected, righteous fury eclipsing what should have been crippling embarrassment. “What exactly did you think this was, Francis?” 

“The file said that he was over fifty, so I just assumed--” Frank rationalized, his voice far too loud for the room. “Y’know? That she wanted a baby that wouldn’t come out all funny-looking?” 

“You’re disgusting.” You blurted out. 

“Francis Howard Wyatt,” Angela scolded as if she were talking to her son. “You are forty-eight and the only increasing part of your body is your blood pressure. Why on Earth would any woman choose you over her smart, handsome doctor fiancé?”

This made Hannibal sit up a little straighter. He wanted Francis on the butcher’s block yesterday, but he momentarily considered letting Angela live. 

“They’re not married?” Frank whispered, or whatever the loud-aggressive-toxic-masculinity version of whispering was. He paused, as the dead hamster on the wheel powering his brain crept back to life. “That actually makes sense.” 

Angela loudly smacked her hand against her face. “Dr. Lecter, Ms. [L/N], I am so sorry.” 

“It’s quite alright, Mrs. Wyatt.” Hannibal stood up, readying the next batch of needles. “It just makes what I’m about to do easier.” 

It took quite a bit of restraint to not make their deaths hurt, but he made up for it when it came time to carve. He had fun running his fittingly small penis through a meat grinder. Not with any intent to cook it, though. Just because. 

Hannibal wanted to make Francis Wyatt into the least dignified meal imaginable. You quickly recalled going to a friend’s barbeque in Georgia and encountering a horrendously Southern delicacy known as Frito Pie. You proposed the idea to Hannibal, who, after reviling in abject horror at the notion of eating something out of a bag, agreed that it was the most fitting end. He could spare a few pounds of flesh to grind up and make into chili. 

The third week brought yet another couple. They seemed smart enough to realize your invitation wasn't the friendly olive branch the others had interpreted it as. Their healthy skepticism was refreshing, to say the least. Then, you met them: Max and Archie.

"You'll have to forgive my partner's paranoia." Max said upon entering the house. He tugged playfully at Archie's hand. "We watched Get Out recently, so an invitation to the suburbs sounded some alarms in his sleep-deprived brain."

"I love that movie." You chimed in. "It reminds me of my family."

"Oh no." Archie's eyes widened in only half-pretend fear. He shot an I-told-you-so look in his partner's direction. 

"But my favorite horror flick has to be Midsommar." You added. "My friends and I saw a midnight screening and we didn't sleep at all that night."

"But have you seen Hereditary?" Archie posited.

"Of course." You shrugged. "Aster is totally genius."

You made more than just polite conversation with the couple. Max, despite his young age, was a skilled data analyst and day trader. He attributed his success to the hard work of his immigrant parents. Archie was an environmental lawyer and land activist. He was also a bit of a thrill junkie, indulging in everything from scary movies to bungee jumping.

It didn't take long to realize that you wouldn't be eating them. They were far too pleasant of company to eat.

"So when is this baby planning to make its entrance?" Archie asked, gesturing to you. "You don’t look all that pregnant to me."

You put your hand over your slightly-protruding stomach. "Late August, I believe. If everything goes according to plan."

"You're not far along at all, aren’t you?" Max observed. "That gives us plenty of time to prove ourselves to you."

"Believe me." You put up your hand. "You're doing a great job so far."

“If you like horror stories, we might have to indulge you in the last two encounters we had.” Hannibal commented, leaning back comfortably in his chair. That was a good sign. “No blood was spilled, thank god. Would have ruined my carpets. But believe me when I tell you it came very close.” 

The couple laughed along. Archie leaned in like he was about to tell a life-shattering secret. “You wouldn’t believe the hoops we had to jump through to even have the chance to adopt. And I don’t want to say that it’s because we’re an interracial gay couple, but...” 

“Agencies aren’t exactly colorblind.” You finished, via his prompting. 

“She gets it.” Archie pointed to you. “See, Maxie? She agrees with me.” 

Max pushed his glasses up his nose. “I never said I disagreed.” 

You spent the rest of the afternoon waiting for the conversation to take a sharp left turn off a cliff, but it didn’t happen. They were wonderful company; polite, intelligent and articulate. Exactly the kind of people you’d want to see taking care of your child. 

You’d have to look for you next meal elsewhere. 

[gaysimpsstuff]

Fatgum As a Dad

This was inspired by a conversation I had on a discord server, we all have daddy issues and want Fatgum to adopt us so here’s all the shit we collected.

There are some serious themes in here, mostly regarding the biological parents of the kid, but it’s vague as possible. If anyone wants me to add a trigger warning please let me know.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It all started when he was a kid, when he learned what an orphanage was. One of the kids in his class mentioned being from one, so when he got home he asked his parents about it. 

“Mom, what’s an orphanage?”

“Well, Taishiro, it’s where children that don’t have parents go. Then people can come and adopt the children. Why do you ask.”

“A kid at school said he’s from one, when d’you think he’s gonna get adopted?”

“He might, not all children get adopted. Some of them stay in the orphanage until they’re adults.”

“BUT THAT’S NOT FAIR!” he shouted. “EVERYONE DESERVES A HAPPY CHILDHOOD!”

“Well, honey, life’s not fair. And not everyone gets a happy life. It’s how most villains are made, actually. They were hurt more than everyone else and couldn’t handle it anymore. Not all villains are like that but many are. I think you should stay away from that kid, Taishiro. He might turn out a villain.”

But he didn’t stay away. And he made it his mission to become a pro hero so he could make a ton of money and help as many people as he could. He’d help even villains, keep them from doing something dangerous and inspire hope in them.

Then, he’d adopt any kid who needed a father. All the orphanages and foster programs would be empty. Homeless children off the street and in his house, being fed and clothed. He’d care for each and every one of them, not wanting a single person to feel like they didn’t belong. 

He finds most of his kids at pride parades. He walks around with a shirt that says ‘FREE DAD HUGS’ and a box full of candy. He remembered one of the kids walking up to him slowly.

“Um.. are you Fatgum?” 

“Yes I am!”

“Can I have a hug?”

“Yes you can, Kiddo!” he got down, and the kid put his arms on his stomach (Fatgum’s too big for anyone to fully hug, the dude’s taller than Allmight!) he wrapped his arms around the kid before he heard sniffles. He looked down and saw that the kid was crying.

“M-my parents never hug me like this!” they exclaimed. “They haven’t since I came out. They want to kick me out when I turn thirteen!” 

“Can I have their number? I’m going to... talk to them.”

He ended up taking the kid’s family to court, and since the parents were going to just kick the kid out anyways, they let Fatgum adopt them, but they kept nagging him about how he was ‘going to be raising a little demon.’

“Then call me Lucifer.” he spat right back. Now, that kid’s grown up, has pride flags all around their walls, and doesn’t ever doubt that they’re loved.

Fatgum probably bakes with his kids. Helping them up onto the counter to mix ingredients and play with the dough. If they mess something up or break a glass, it’s fine. He doesn’t yell at them or sigh and shake his head, he just kissed the kid on the forehead and helps them clean up the mess. 

The food always turns out amazing, and Fatgum always tells the kids that. All of his kids are now Gordon Ramsay level chefs and have probably met Gordon Ramsay. 

No matter what their body type is, Fatgum tells his kids their handsome/beautiful and are model worthy. If anyone comments of one of his kid’s body, whether it be negative or... ‘positive’ in a creepy way, you can expect that they’re getting slammed into the ground. No questions asked.

One of Fatgum’s kids is really good at make-up. Like, really good. So Fatgum did the only thing a rational father would do. 

Ask for a make-up job.

It didn’t end all that well...

“Hold still.. I gotta get the eyeliner on.”

“Gosh, Kiddo it’s making my eyes water.” 

“I know, just hold still... aaaand...... done! Now don’t touch it or it’ll smear!”

“Wow, that looks great! You’re really good at this!”

“Thanks, dad- you smeared it already didn’t you?”

“....Nope.”

Fatgum: I'm not gonna do it, it just seemed like a good option. 

Fatgum not even two seconds later after seeing a trans kid crying: now carrying said child on his shoulders while his spouse is chuckling in a corner after signing adoption papers I did it.

This man would get his kids almost anything they wanted. Especially kids with ADD/ADHD/Autism/Tourettes/Anxiety who need stim toys.

Kid: chewing on their nails.

Fatgum: here take this stim toy, and this one, you chew this one so that might help-

Kid ends up with more stim toys than they can count.

Fatgum: just doing his job 

The Daddy Issues Gang: Hi dad- oh shit wait- Hi- I- fuck- trauma ensues. crying

Fatgum: grabs the daddy issues gang we're going to the nearest courtroom say hello to your new father its me im the father ok lets go.

Kid: um, dad can I talk to you? 

 Fatgum, turning around quickly: yes? 

 Me: ‘he moved so quick, he's mad at me, I'm gonna get yelled at’ Sorry, sorry! 

Fatgum: uh, no. I'm getting you ice cream and a new stuffed animal no questions asked

He'd just know when something's wrong, and he’d be great at comforting.

His usual style of comfort is to let the kid sit on his stomach and tell him what’s wrong. His body is one giant pillow for his kids to lay on, he can fit at least eight of them if they cuddle in closely.

Once filmed a commercial dressed as the Cool-Aid man, and all of his kids were in the commercial.

Fatgum: Busts down wall  “OH YEAH!”

Director: “And CUT! Okay, try a little more aggressive-”

Fatgum, in tears: “I don’t wanna scare my kids.”

As stated before, if anyone makes his kids feel bad he’s punching them to the ground, but sometimes he’s not in a position where he can do that. Like if a Karen mom ever comes over.

"Linda stop bringing lemon squares if you're going to talk about my son that way because they're just as sour as your attitude."

Fatgum but he slaps the toxic members of your family and tells them to do better or he's taking you.

Then takes you anyway because you prefer him.

Fatgum with a sweater that says ‘mr dad guy on it’

Fatgum definitely watches ATLA, and quotes Uncle Iroh daily. When his kids are minding their own business they suddenly hear

“Leaves from the vine... falling so slow...” 

INAUDIBLE CHAOS AND PANIC

Fatgum agency cosplayed ATLA characters on Halloween.

Fatgum was Iroh.

Kirishima was Sokka.

Tamaki was either Momo or Appa.

Maybe get a couple others in on it too, Mirio could be Aang and if Kirishima convinces Todoroki to join for a while he’d totally be Zuko.

Fatgum lets his kids squish his face.

Fatgum used to work with a hero who was hard of hearing, so he learned sign language to help them, and he’s got the skill saved in case one of his kids might be deaf.

So one day, Kirishima invites Bakugou on patrol with him, and we all love that headcanon of Bakugou going deaf, so when he gets pissed at something, he starts insulting everyone around him in SL.

Fatgum notices and starts signing back to him.

YOU’RE ALL MOTHERFUCKERS AND I HATE YOU ALL!

Hey, now, let’s calm down and not call everyone motherfuckers.

FUCK YOU TOO

Bakugou...

Everyone thinks that they’re doing magic, because they’re making all these shapes with their hands and keep looking offended at each other.

Now, Fatgum tries his gosh darn hardest to keep up with the memes, so when his kids come home with good grades, he says “That’s so pog, Kiddo!”

All of his kids are embarrassed.

In the middle of a battle, he throws Kirishima at a villain and they both scream “YEET!” the villain afterwords forever lives in fear of the word ‘yeet’ because he thinks it’ll result in a human rock being thrown at his face.

Fatgum can’t text very well, because his fingers are just too damn big-

sonhsisntextsblooklikehthis'

Translation: so his texts look like this

you learn to understand his texts

Someone better get him a large tablet instead of a phone

If he gets married after he adopts the kids, there’s going to be a huge competition over who does the rings and who does the flowers etc.

If any of his kid’s ever bring home a romantic partner, you can bet your ass he’ll be all over them.

“What’s your average grade?”

“E-eighty percent sir!”

“And do you take sports?”

“No sir, I wish to be a biologist.”

“I see, I see...”

“DAD, YOU AREN”T INTERVIEWING MY PARTNER, ARE YOU? YOU SCARED OFF THE LAST THREE I DON’T WANNA DEAL WITH THAT AGAIN!”

“SORRY, KIDDO! I’LL LET THEM GO NOW! I’ve got my fucking eyes on you. Don’t screw this up.”

Hope y’all enjoy this, if y’all want I can write some headcanons for if Fatgum’s kid becomes a villain-

[slapshot-to-the-heart]

Gold Rush

Finally venturing into writing for Brock, and so excited to put this out there!! Very appreciative of the encouragement I’ve gotten throughout this from @brockadoodles who had (rightfully so, man deserves it) made loving Brock her BRAND. If there was any hockey who’s made to be a dad, it’s Brock Boeser, and I’ve genuinely loved getting to put this together. Love hearing feedback and what your favorite parts were, so reblog and pop into my inbox!

word count: 3.8k+

Brock had loved kids his whole life. Being around them, looking after them, the first day a kid asked him to autograph his jersey was burned into his brain alongside precious few other memories, most of the others involving you. And anyone who had ever seen him with Easton could tell that Brock Boeser loved babies. He had wanted kids since he was old enough to know what being a dad was, and knew so strongly that was a path he wanted — needed, honestly, there was too much love in his heart to not share it with everyone he could — that he wouldn’t ever have let things get serious with you if that wasn’t a life you wanted for yourself. Parenthood wasn’t for everyone, and he never held it against the women he had dated who didn’t want to be moms, but it was for Brock Boeser. 

He remembered the day he brought it up with you, his voice soft and hesitant as your head rested on his shoulder, a blanket thrown haphazardly over their laps as Return of the Jedi played on the TV. “Do you want kids someday?” Brock asked. He spoke gently, not wanting to scare you off with thoughts of the future coming too fast for you to handle, wondering if maybe seven months into a relationship was too early to bring up the type of commitment that lasted a lifetime. But he had to, had to protect himself from getting more invested and one more broken heart in a relationship that wasn’t just headed down the wrong set of train tracks, it was going the opposite way entirely. But, as you spoke, it turned out that he never had anything to worry about, and Brock wasn’t sure if he’d ever been more relieved in his life. 

“I do,” you said, looking up at his face, trying to read his expression. “Always have. Not sure how many, I’ve always thought two or three sounded good. But we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” 

Brock couldn’t help the way his heart absolutely swelled, the way you spoke of him in your future, with such ease and certainty as if you weren’t even entertaining a possibility that he wouldn’t be a part of it, that he wouldn’t be the one you would have children with. He twisted his neck, dropping a kiss on the top of your head. “We will.” 

So Brock loved kids, and you loved kids, and it had been established over a year before he put a ring on your finger that they were something in your future. You bought a four-bedroom in Shaughnessy, the idea being that one would be a guest room and two would be reserved for the kids, whenever they came along. “We can always add on,” Brock had said as you signed the papers, the real estate agent dropping the keys into your palm with a warm smile. And you knew that he would, you knew that Brock wanted as many kids as you were willing to give him. But you’d start with one. That was the plan. That was the plan, so a few months after you got back from your honeymoon in Scotland you went off of your birth control. Kids would happen when they happened, but you both knew you’d rather them sooner than later, and thus had begun your journey towards starting a family. That was the plan, so a year and a half ago you had swapped the pill for a stock of pregnancy tests, taking one a month and whenever you were feeling even slightly off for good measure, sure that your nausea and headache wasn’t the beginnings of a flu but rather your baby making themself known. 

When six months of trying came and went without a single positive test, you both started to get a little antsy, but you knew that these things took time, and you knew that it hadn’t been long enough for there to be any real cause for concern. But you still called your doctor, started exercising more and taking folic acid like she recommended, you and Brock both cutting down on your alcohol. “If you’ve got to do all this, it’s only fair I have to make some changes, too,” he had said. You loved your husband for many reasons, chief among them being the fact that no matter the circumstance, where you were or who you were with or how people were acting, he never made you feel like you were on your own. Everything was a team effort in the Boeser household. 

It was six months, and you were doing okay, and Brock was genuinely winning the award for the world’s best husband with how deftly he could calm you down every time you saw the words not pregnant show up on a pregnancy test, but then it hit a year of trying without success and you started to get worried. It was July, and you knew it was common in the NHL to try and time births for the offseason — if you got pregnant in the summer, your baby would have been born in the middle of a playoff push — but you honestly would have settled for any timing. So you visited a fertility specialist at the Mayo Clinic, a quiet recommendation Brock’s mom got from a friend’s daughter. You loved your own mom, but Laurie truly had been your saving grace in everything. A quiet, steady presence who offered more love and support than you could ever ask for, giving her advice only when asked and never once betraying your trust by telling anyone. But Dr. Gonzalez got the tests back, both yours and Brock’s, and said that nothing was wrong. “Unexplained infertility,” they called it. It was nothing anybody was doing wrong, nobody’s fault, not a matter of hormonal imbalances or obvious lifestyle factors or anything that would have let you blame it on yourself. Which, on one hand, was so good and so relieving, so desperately needed. You needed to know that it wasn’t your body, and it wasn’t Brock, that was keeping the two of you from finally being able to grow your family. But on the other hand, there were few things more hopeless or frustrating than hearing that they couldn’t find a cause. That meant that there wasn’t anything you could have done differently, true, but that also meant that there wasn’t anything you could do. It was a waiting game, and you were never good with being patient. 

Pregnancy scares were more common than people might know, if the experiences of you and your friends were anything to go by. There were high school boyfriends, college roommates, half of the people you knew had worried they were pregnant or had gotten someone pregnant far before they were ready. But now, when you were settled down and established and were building a life with the most amazing man you had ever had the fortune to love, and you wanted a baby, it wasn’t happening. The clinical definition of infertility was the “failure to achieve a clinical pregnancy after 12 months or more of regular unprotected sexual intercourse.” You had committed the definition to memory over the past 14 months, and whether you knew it or not, Brock had too. You had always been good at tests. Good grades, always the essay the teacher used as an example in class, graduated top of your class at UBC. But this was one test you couldn’t study for, and one you couldn’t believe you had failed time and time again. 

Which brought you to December, normally one of your favorite times of the year but one that you had recently begun noticing all the doom and gloom in that others had always mentioned when speaking about the winter months. You still loved the holidays, Christmas and New Year’s and everything in between, but you thought that in your second year as a married couple, you wouldn’t still be a family of two. It was a year and a half since you and Brock had started trying for a baby, and there was still no luck. It was a year and a half, and you had started talking about options. Vancouver had some amazing fertility specialists, and adoption was something you had discussed looking into, but you had both agreed on waiting a few more months before taking that route.  

---

Which brought you to almost three weeks later, two days before New Year’s Eve, your head in the toilet and your husband leaning up against the doorway. “God, I feel like shit,” you said, leaning up against the wall when your nausea had finally seemed to subside. “I bet, last time I threw up was our honeymoon,” he said, trying to make you laugh. Brock had insisted on trying haggis in Scotland, saying he needed the “full experience,” but regretted that decision as soon as he spent the better part of the second night of your honeymoon in the hotel bathroom throwing up from food poisoning. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, gratefully taking the cup of water Brock handed you as you leaned up against the bathroom counter. 

You caught his eyes searching yours as you set the glass down, his face wearing an expression you had come to know well in the four years you had been together. There was something on his mind, but he wasn’t sure if he should say it. “Yeah?” you prompted, raising your eyebrows. 

He gave a tiny shake of his head. “It’s nothing, seriously.” 

Now it was your turn to look at him. “Brock, it’s going to eat you up if you keep it all inside. Spit it out.” 

“How long has it been since you took a test?” Brock asked gently. 

You should have known. God, you should have known that’s where his mind would go, and the worst part of it all, the part that made you feel even worse for getting your husband’s hopes up that maybe this was finally it, maybe it had finally worked, was that you couldn’t even blame him. You had been snappier at Brock the past few days, something both you and he had attributed to your overall weariness about the whole process, you had to practically slap his hands away from your breasts the other night while you were having sex, and this wasn’t even the first time you had thrown up this week. But it was flu season, and you worked with kids, and seemed to catch it more years than not despite taking the flu shot religiously each October. You’d be looking for a missed period, but they had always been light and you had experienced some spotting when Brock was on a road trip the week before. 

You pressed the heels of your hands into your eyes, shaking your head. “I don’t know...A month? A little over? I just hate that it’s getting so clinical, that’s not what it was supposed to be about, that’s never what it was supposed to be about.” 

Brock ran his hands up your arms, back and forth, the same way he had been comforting you for years. “I know, baby. And I’m so sorry if I ever made you feel that way, more stressed or disappointed in yourself, because it’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. We’re going to have a baby one way or another, because I love you and I’ve never met anyone who’s more excited, and ready, and made to be a mom quite like you. And whether you have the baby yourself, or we adopt, or whatever path we decide is the right one for us, they’ll be ours, and they’ll be so loved.” Brock ghosted a kiss over your forehead, his eyes closing. “You don’t have to take another test if you don’t want to, the last thing I want to do is make you more anxious over all of this. But I think it might be good. I think it might help.” 

You breathed out deeply through your nose, shooting your husband a weak smile. God, he was so good to you. “I’ll tell you if I do.” 

Brock nodded, stepping towards you and wrapping you in his arms, whispering your name as he leaned his forehead against yours. “No matter what happens — tomorrow, next week, next year, I don’t care — nothing you do will ever make me love you any less. We’re good. We’re gonna be okay.” You could have filled a hundred books with the reasons why you loved Brock Boeser, and this was one of them. The way he loved you, so selflessly and sacrificially, without an ounce of ego and never expecting anything in return aside from your heart. You didn’t know what you had ever done in this life or any past one to deserve him, but there wasn’t a day you didn’t thank God for the privilege of letting you love this man. 

---

It was finally New Year’s Eve, festivities having taken over the city — really, they hadn’t stopped since Christmas — and hardly a flat surface was left undecorated with posters or metallic tinsel, or both for good measure, including almost the entirety of yours and Brock’s house. He had volunteered your place weeks ago as the site for the team’s New Year’s Eve party. It didn’t generally draw a crowd as big as the holiday party earlier in the month, which usually had not only the players’ partners, but children and whatever family was visiting at the time, so Brock had asked if you’d be willing, and you agreed easily. You loved getting to spend time with the team, and you were even more inclined than usual to gravitate towards any kind of distraction that would take your mind off of the stress you were under. The stress that you put yourself under, to be fair. So you threw yourself into planning and preparation, pulling out the ice chest from the garage and filling it up, making sure people were bringing enough champagne, cleaning every inch of the house with Brock until it was spotless despite the fact that you both knew you’d have to do the same thing in the morning. 

Some two and a half hours into the party and most everyone who was drinking was sufficiently drunk, the TV in the living room flipping back and forth between the broadcast from Times Square and Youtube karaoke that nearly everyone had been roped into at some point or another. You sipped your soda, half-sitting on one of your barstools next to Holly. “You’re not drinking?” she asked curiously. 

“I had some earlier, trying to pace myself” you said, waving your hand. “Someone’s got to look after that one.” You nodded towards Brock, who was having what looked to be the time of his life in your living room while badly singing along to One Direction. Holly nodded. You knew she probably wanted to ask more, but she was too tactful to push. “It’s so nice to see them all like this, just letting loose, having fun. It’s hard to remember sometimes that these are just guys in their 20s and 30s when they’re constantly off travelling or away at games, doing things most people their age only dreamed of. They don’t get the chance to be normal hardly ever. And the season can get stressful...It’s just good to see,” you said. 

“It is,” she agreed. 

You checked your phone. Twelve minutes till midnight. “You want to help me get the champagne ready?” 

Holly smiled. “Let’s do it.” 

Nearly twenty flutes of champagne later — you had no idea where Brock had managed to find all of the glasses — you walked around the corner, your head poking into the living room. “Champagne’s in the kitchen, everybody. Five minutes till midnight!” 

“Haven’t seen you in a while,” Brock said, leaning in for a kiss after walking over. 

You scrunched your nose. “Babe. It hasn’t even been ten minutes.” The second you had gotten back from refilling your drink earlier, Brock had dragged you into what turned out to be a very endearing but not-so-successful rendition of I’ve Had the Time of My Life in the living room, minus the lift. He wanted to go for it, and you trusted your husband with everything, but you really didn’t feel like spending your New Year’s Eve in the ER after having crashed into the Christmas tree. Dirty Dancing was one of the first movies you had ever watched together, so there was more than a little meaning behind the choice, but you doubted you were exactly making Jennifer Grey proud. 

“Ten minutes away from you is ten minutes too long,” he said, nuzzling his head into your neck. 

The fingers of your free hand carded through the hairs at the base of his neck; you loved it when he let his hair grow out like this. “Okay, babe, I believe you. How much have you had to drink tonight?” 

Brock pulled back, rolling his eyes at you in exaggeration. “Only two beers since the night started. I’m not drunk, I’m not even tipsy, I just love my wife.”

“Could be worse,” you quipped. You squeezed his hand as the two of you walked into the kitchen, after half of the guests had already grabbed their flutes and made their way back into the living room for the countdown. Grabbing your drink from the other side of the counter, you held it in your far hand as you and Brock turned back around, taking your place by the Christmas tree. You glanced towards the TV, where the Times Square ball was slowly inching towards the ground. “Anyone else think it’s a little weird that we’re all staring at a TV waiting for something to happen that already happened 3 hours ago?” 

“I don’t believe in tape delay,” Elias said. 

Quinn nodded seriously in agreement, but the corner of his mouth twitched up. “It doesn’t exist. That little notice in the corner, saying ‘this is a recording of an earlier broadcast? Fake.” 

You snorted into your glass as everyone’s attention turned back to the screen. Three minutes till midnight. “I was a little apprehensive at first when you said you’d put us down to host,” you said, leaning back into Brock’s chest, “but I’m glad you did. This is nice.” 

“I’m glad we’ve got everyone around,” he said, looking down at you. “What are you drinking?” he asked curiously. He hadn’t noticed before, too caught up in the euphoria and exhilaration of the night, but the more he looked at it, the more he realized that your glass looked different than everyone else’s. 

“Sparkling cider,” you said, your heart rate picking up. “I brought it in case any of the kids came.” 

“But there was plenty of champagne left?” Brock questioned. “We’re at our own house, it’s not like you need to be playing designated driver.” You let out an airy laugh, the kind that made Brock’s eyes immediately snap to yours because he knew you so well, he could read even the slightest actions, the smallest shift in tone, and he knew what that particular laugh meant. It was your nervous laugh. “What is it?” he asked, guiding you around the corner to the darkened hallway, the residual glimmer of the lights from the Christmas tree glowing softly on the walls. 

You looked up at him, the purest most radiant smile you had ever given him crossing over your face. “You’re not supposed to drink when you’re pregnant,” you whispered,  your top lip trembling and letting you know that you were only moments away from tears. 

Brock was speechless as he looked at you, the near-silence of the hallway a strange contrast to the growing noise in the living room as the clock ticked closer and closer to the new year. “And you’re...You’re not drinking because…” He faltered. 

You gently took both of your glasses, setting them on a side table before taking his left hand in your own, running your thumb over his wedding band. “I’m not drinking because I’m pregnant, Brock,” you repeated, your voice cracking. 

“Are you sure?” he asked. You felt a twinge in your heart, but you knew you really couldn’t be upset with him for not being sure. It had been a year and a half and there had been more than once where you both thought it was finally it, that it had finally taken. 

You nodded, squeezing his hand. “I took a test the other day, after you had asked me if I was going to. God, I wasn’t expecting anything different, Brock. I wasn’t expecting anything,” you said. “But three minutes was up, and I turned the test over,” his hand tightened almost imperceptibly around yours, “and I saw a plus sign. I’ve never seen one before, Brock, it’s never been positive.” You didn’t realize you had started crying until Brock reached up with the hand that wasn’t holding yours, wiping away a tear that had fallen onto your cheek. “But I didn’t want to get my hopes up again. Not until I was sure. So I found a midwifery center online, called — thank God they had a cancellation — and went in yesterday. I wanted to get it confirmed, but I didn’t want to do anything without you. I didn’t even look at the ultrasound, all I had her tell me was that everything looked absolutely perfect for seven weeks along.” 

It was your husband’s turn for tears now, neither of you paying any mind to the deafening countdown that was happening just steps away. “You’re really pregnant?” 

You nodded again. “We have an appointment again in two days. They’re going to show us the heartbeat.” 

That was what broke him, bringing Brock down to his knees in front of you, his hand slipping from yours as he brought it up to rest on your lower stomach. Where his baby was. Where your baby was. “I’m finally going to be a dad,” he said, as if the knowledge that both of your lives would be changed forever come next July was just now hitting him, as if he’d never known purpose and fulfillment quite on the same level until you spoke those words to him. 

You knelt down next to him, dropping a kiss on his lips just as the clock struck midnight. It wasn’t like any kiss you had ever shared before, not overwhelmed with passion or desire or want, nor the small, steady sort of kisses you had grown to love in your years as a married couple, the kind that said you’re my best friend in not so many words. This was a kiss of adoration, of devotion, of pure reverence for your husband and the life you had finally created together. “We’re having a baby.”

[bxdbxdboy]

Character Development

BASICS

Full Name:  Luz Noceda 

Alias:   Apprentice

Nicknames: Bad Boy, (Luz Squad) B.Boy, (herself) Soft Boy, (Cottage) Baby Boy, (Eda) Nice Boy, (Sunny) Sweetheart (Bee)

Sex / Gender:  Female, Nonbinary  (she/her/hers, he/him/his, they/them/theirs ) .

Right or Left:    Left 

Age:   16.

Height:   5'6″.

Eye Color:    dark brown

Hair Color:   Dark brown

Distinguishing Marks:  She has a raven tattoo over her scar she received trying to stop her villain in her timeline. She’s shaved her left eyebrow in the middle to match her friend’s scar.  

Paragraph Of Physical Traits: She’s got a rather strong build which means she has no weak nerd arms and a significant amount of muscle to her arm. Her hair is slicked back like a wave and it’s always been like that it just has always naturally curled and folded over in that direction. When she sleeps it gets wavy or spikey sticking up like a parrot.

FAMILY / RELIGION

Parents / Guardians:     Camilla Noceda 

Siblings: n/a  adopted Brother King.

Marital Status:  Not married. 

Significant Other(s): Bee (Amity-Bee), Blushy (Amity in her timeline)  

Children:   N/A.

Other Relatives:   Many Many cousins, aunts and uncles and cousins on both sides of the family. 

Pets:   Bunga, (familiar, honey badger) Saturn, (familiar magical Owl) Calypso. (palisman Sable)  

Friends:     Cottage, Sunny, Iris, Bee, Lucky, Otter, Puppy, Gus, Willow.

Enemies:     Emperor Belos. 

Ethnicity:     Latina 

Religion:     None. 

Beliefs:    N/A

Superstitions:    black cats, broken mirrors. KARMA!

Languages:   English. Spanish. 

Diction / Accent:    Spanish 

SCHOOL / WORK / HOME

Education:   Public School / High scool leverl/ Hexside

Degree(s):   Not yet. 

Occupation:   Local Power washer for her boiling isles, Food delivery, Potion distributor. 

Own or Rent:    Neither.

Living Space:   Eda’s home in the owl house, Her home in the human realm, and Magic Treehouse bedroom. 

Work Space:    N/A.

Main Mode of Transport:   Skateboarding, Walking, running, or flying. Can drive, will learn, will drive without license. 

PSYCHOLOGY

Fears:      Being replaced / abandoned,  her anger issues, her home getting concurred, loosing her friends, venomous snakes, possessed creatures, dark mimics. spiders, The deepest depths of the Ocean, Slender Man, Siren Head.  

Secrets:    A big softie just doesn’t want many who meet her to realize it. 

IQ:     Was never formally tested,   but she may not be as intellectually gifted as the other Luz’s There’s a big jock mentally mindset to her as a whole.

Eating Habits:  Ravenous Appetite, no matter how much she eats she’s always asking for more. She can put some food away if someone has something they’re saving it’s too late she’s already gotten to it. 

Food Preferences: She enjoys Hot Wings they are her most favorite food besides Pizza coming around at a close second She likes a lot of junk food candy, cookies, chips of all kinds. On occasion she will eat something green though like some lettuce with taco meat or a green pepper. She’ll eat it all everything under the sun and even be adventurous eating a wide margin of other foods. She almost always has hot sauce on her there isn’t a single kind of meal she doesn’t love covered in the hot stuff.  

Sleeping Habits:   She sleeps well, for the most part, when she isn’t attempting to be a night owl she falls asleep relatively quick, even rivaling some of the younger Luz’s with how early she can fall asleep. It’s likely she has sleep apnea as she has tendency to snore so very loud and wakes up during the night in cold sweat, when she stops breathing from night terrors. She will oversleep until almost 2:00 in the afternoon if not monitored.         

Book Preferences:   She’s not a big egg-head book reader like the rest of the squad is the most Bad Boy read in school was “Animal Farm”, and The “Lord of the Flies”, in high school two books that peaked her interest a little bit. She also enjoys listening to Cottage read some horror books it’s the most she’ll really listen rather than use her eyes to read, in fact, one would say she struggles to read efficiently. 

Music Preferences:     Hip Hop, Rap, Dubstep, 80′s music, The Weekend, Various artists. 

Leader or Follower:    She likes to be the boss, but will occasionally follow if she doesn’t have to do much. 

Planner or Spontaneous:  Spontaneous! All of her ideas are never planned out she definitely does not look before she leaps. Her leaps are full of optimism and happy stupidity. The only time she tends to plan is when Bee holds her hand and forces her to take a step back. 

Journal:    Nope

Hobbies:    Dancing,   listening to music,     training,    watching videos / shows,  exercising,  roasting members of the Luz squad, doing dangerous stunts, skateboarding, basketball, baseball, (more so the batting range)  Surfing (Prior), Deep woods exploring, practicing her magic, teaching her familiars, (Saturn and Bunga) Listening to music, Swooning Bee, Video games, Baking Pizza, Breakdancing, Beat Boxing, Collecting Hats, Serenading, Dancing, Snuggling King.

How Do They Relax:  By listening to some calming beats privately, counting to 10, or at any point stroked by Bee she curls and becomes softer. 

What Excites Them:  Competitions,  Wild magic, Magical Creatures, Parkour, Plane Crash videos, Unus Annus, Dogs! Kitties, Being in charge, Buffalo sauce, Food!, Flirting, 

What Stresses Them:  Bossy individuals, Strict Parents, Rude people, Being inside the Emperor Castle, Being the butt of the joke, Tests, Explosives. Needles. 

Pet Peeves:   Vegan food, Whining, losing games, Being accused of being a perv, mocking, people stealing her hat,  Lucky sending her cursed images. 

Prejudices:  high horse, pretends not to be a trouble maker to stay in good graces, struggling to not be hostile towards her doppelgängers, 

Attitudes:   Closed off, Laid back, Aggressive,  or chill and cool depending on who you are. Bad Boy appears to be the “scary” anger issues Luz that is liable to explode at any moment and when she does her face and ears can get as red as Bee’s. You’re either in good graces with her or your not, she’s not always easy to approach unless you have a good sense of humor than she cracks up with you about stupid jokes. 

Obsessions:    Her shoes and hats, her favorite music, lids, BEE

Addictions:    Does addiction to sugary cereal count? because oh my god-!!

Ambitions:     Defeat Belos in her timeline, find a way to get adopted as a sibling by Cottage Core, Have her own identity outside of Cottage and the Luz squad.   Become a powerful witch, Make her mom proud.  

ASTROLOGY / PHISIOLOGY

Birth Date:    November 26,    2005.

Sign:    Sagittarius

Traits Associated with Western Sign:  loyal, smart, assertive, and compassionate personality   

Chinese Zodiac Sign:    The rooster

Traits Associated with Chinese Sign: active, amusing, and popular within a crowd. Roosters are talkative, outspoken, frank, open, honest, and loyal individuals. They like to be the center of attention and always appear attractive and beautiful.

Handwriting:     It’s okay…;      fairly sloppy.

Sexual History:   N/A.

General Health:     She takes pretty good care of herself as far as hygiene and having a good confident attitude.  experiencing some struggles with her adhd, bad posture leaves her with some back pain.

Mental Disabilities:      PTSD,   ADHD,  depression,  

Allergies:   Seasonal.

OBJECTS KEPT IN

Purse / Bag:  Wallet, towel, water bottle, Treehouse keys key chain,

Wallet:     Photo ID, Gold, Cash, rings, Brass knuckle, 

Fridge:     Chalked full of between meal and frozen pizza. 

Medicine Cabinet:  Bandages, Healing Potions, Icey-hot muscle rub,  

Glove Compartment:   Parking tickets, Trespassing tickets, concert tickets. 

Junk Drawer:     fidget spinners, gum, pens, sharpies, stress balls. 

Backpack:   Hats, Snacks, Mints, hair gel, Extra clothes, socks,  pepper spray, hand sanitizer, suntan lotion, hair brush

Desk:   Doodles, Paper Airplanes, Crumpled up Paper.

Clothes Pockets:    Phone, Hot Sauce packets, hand warmers, stress ball.  

OTHER

Halloween Costumes:   A zombie, the cementary is hiring.

Talents:    break dancing, beat boxing, fighting in close quarters, self defense, making Luz squad question their sanity, making jokes, flipping her hat. being annoying. 

Politics: Nah. 

Flaws:   stand offish,  moody,     blunt and direct,   vain,  doesn’t like to be on the losing side indecisive, selfish,

Strengths:  Her optimism, strong sense of personal integrity, avoiding the status quo, free spirited, confidence level, good sense of humor.  

Drugs / Alcohol:    N/A. No who invited? 

Passwords:     The most random shit. 

Prized Possessions:   Her hat passed down by her oldest cousin, her unus annus sweatshirt, a small wolf plushy named Akela 

Time and Place:    Currently, at the Treehouse interviewing new members of the Luz squad. She just got back from a trip and she has jet lag.     

Special Places:      The treehouse, her original house, The owl house, the forest where she goes to meet Blushy, The cliff by the Grom tree, the beach. 

Special Memories:   Meeting Eda and King then running into Cottage and Bee, Becoming friends with Cottage Core learning magic from them, Teasing Belos and Hunter with Cottage Core, Dancing with Bee at her Grom, becoming a polyamorous couple with Bee and Cottage. Being accepted into the Luz Squad. 

Tagged by:    Stole it from @witchesborn​

Tagging:    You,    if you want to do it.

[word-scribbless]

Smile Again Part 12

Finalllly here! Little time jump! The end for the time being but probably not forever!

Masterlist ———— series masterlist

—————————————————————

The past year had been a lot of things. Hectic; full of cases, and moving, and adjusting, but also full of; love, and movie nights, and becoming a family.

Y/N had began to move into the Hotchner house hold the very day after Aaron asked. Her, Aaron and Jack had a packing and moving party that day after they had told him. Jack, really all three of them, were too excited to wait. The next day they told JJ and then she was so excited that they had another packing party, this time with wine. The BAU team, and Will and the boys, all helped that next weekend.

At first Jack took a little time to get used to Y/N being there all the time. One day he just got overwhelmed and would only talk to his dad. Y/N expected it, it still hurt like hell but she expected it. She told Aaron she was going to spend the day at JJ’s and that he should have a dad and Jack day.

Aaron felt awful but she calmed him immediately. “Aaron, I know he loves me, but we knew this would happen. No matter what I’m a woman, whose not his mom, moving in and loving him and his father. No matter how much he loves me and wants me here, he’s going to be confused.”

Just hearing that made Aaron fall in love with her even more.

It had turned out that Jack had accidentally called Y/N his mom to his friend at school the day before and was feeling guilty and confused. Aaron talked to him, told him that it was okay to love his mom and Y/No that he himself was confused at first too. He explained that Hailey would always love them and want what’s best for them, and he believed that was Y/N.

Jack looked up at him with big eyes and said “I think so too Daddy! Do you think I could call y/N mommy?” Aaron smiled and nodded, telling him he should talk to Y/N about it.

Later that night When Y/N came home Aaron directed her to his son’s room. She came out about 30 minutes later with a big smile and happy tears.

“You okay?” Aaron asked, leading her to the couch. She nodded and explained to him how Jack had climbed into her lap, said he was sorry for being rude to her and then asked if she could be his other mom and he could call her mommy.

“What’d you say?” Head smiling softly.

“You knew and didn’t warn me?” She said with mock betrayal.

“Maybe, so what’d you say?”

“Like I’d ever say no to that? I love him Aaron! Of course I said yes!”

“We love you Y/N!” Aaron whispered as he pulled her legs into his lap and kissed her softly.

A few months later, Jack had more questions about Y/N. One day after Y/N and Jack had gone to the grocery store Jack yelled “mommy!” Over the radio in the car.

“Yeah bug?” She said.

“When are you and daddy getting married?”

Y/N froze.

“Well, I’m not sure bud! Sometimes grownups do things a little out of order, but I love you and your dad forever with or with out being married okay?”

“Okay! Love you too mommy!” Jack sings from the back seat.

Y/N smiled. She loved that little boy and his dad. She wasn’t gonna lie, being Mrs. Y/N Hotchner sounded pretty great. She wasn’t in a rush though, she was just happy to be theirs.

Little did Y/N know Jack asked his father the same question the very next day on the way to school.

“Hey daddy?”

“Yeah bud?”

“When are you and mommy getting married?”

“Well bud that’s something you and I need to talk about.”

“It is?”

“Mhm” he nodded and pulls the car over into a close by gas station parking lot. He turns around and looks at his son.

“Yeah, I want to ask Y/N to marry me. I wanted to make sure you’d be okay with that! I was gonna talk to you tonight.”

“You’re gonna ask her!?! When!?!” He squealed.

“So I guess you’re okay with it?” Aaron chuckled.

“Yessss!” He squealed again “I asked Y/N when you were getting married yesterday! She said she didn’t know but she loves us no matter what! But she looked all happy when I asked.”

This mad Hotch smile.

“Well I guess that’s a good sign she’ll say yes then huh?”

He nodded happily.

“Wanna come pick out a ring with me after school?”

Jack squealed again and Aaron took that as a yes.

A few months later Aaron and Jack had planned it all out. Jack was at Jessica’s. Aaron and Y/N were on a weekend trip to New York celebrating their year long relationship.

They had just gotten back from dinner and were sitting on the balcony when y/n finally asked what she’d been wondering all night.

“You okay? You seem nervous.” She asked taking his hand.

“Yeah, everything is perfect. I just had something I want to talk to you about.” He said turning to her and taking both of her hands.

“I once told you that I wasn’t asking you to marry me, just to be your friend and that you call the shots” he said reaching to brush some hair behind her ear. “a lot has changed since then. I love you, and I know you and your love for me enough to know that I can be a little less timid with you now. I still always want to be your friend Y/N and so much more than that. You’ll always call the shots. The one thing from that first statement that has changed is that this time I am asking you to marry me.” He said softly as he smiled with teary eyes, getting down on one knee in front of her chair.

Y/N gasped, her eyes filled with tears as he took her hand in his. The other hand flew to her mouth. She couldn’t believe how lucky she was.

“You can always say no, but you can’t say yes unless I ask right?” He laughed, quoting what she once said to him. She nodded with a watery giggle.

“So here I go; Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, will you be my wife?“ he asked holding out the ring that had been in his pocket.

“Yes! A million times yes” she answered barely waiting for him to slide the ring on to pull him into her for a kiss.

They both ended up on the floor of the balcony with Y/N in Aaron’s lap, laughing and looking at her ring.

“Did jack know you were doing this?” She asked.

“Yes and he’s probably bugging the crap out of Jess waiting for an answer.” He laughed

“Well let’s call him! “ she said as she got up and pulled Aaron with her.

“Okay it has to be a video call because he wants to see you open this. “ he said pulling an envelope with ‘mommy’ written on it in jacks hand writing out of his pocket.

She gasped and nodded. Moving to sit on the bed as Aaron took out his phone.

Jack and Jess answered the phone and y/n smiled as Jack jumps up and down saying

“Did you ask her!?!”

“I did!” Aaron said with a smile.

“What’d you say mommy?!?

“I could never say no to a Hotchner man”

She smiled holding up her hand.

“Congratulations you two” Jessica said.

“Daddy give her the envelope!!!!” Jack asked, jumping up and down.

“I have it bud, can I open it?” She asked

He nodded And she opened the envelope to see a hand drawn picture of the three of them holding hands, with the words ‘I love you! Will you be my mommy forever?’

She felt tears I her eyes and looked closer to see that Jack had drawn a blonde smiling stick figure angel and one of a man angel that resembled a picture she had on her mantle. She could only guess they were Haley and Conner and the tears came faster.

Behind the picture was a packet of adoption papers and taped to the back of the envelope was an elegant ring that matched her engagement ring with 3 larger stones of her Aaron and Jack’s bithstones and two smaller ones one the out side one connors birthstone and one a ruby.

She gasped.

“Daddy said that you and him think momma and Connor sent us to each other so you can carry all of us with you.” Jack I love this and I would love to be your mommy, I will never ever replace your momma but I will love you for always my sweet boy!”

“She said yes!” He yelled hugging Jess. Y/N turned to Aaron who hugged her with a huge smile.

“Hotchner boys can I have a minute with aunt Jessy?” y/n asked

“Sure I’ll go get ready for bed!” Jack peeped “I love you mommy, love you daddy!”

“We love you too” they said.

“I’ll be on the balcony, bye Jess” Aaron said kissing y/N’s head.

“You look happy” Jess said wiping her own tears

“I am Jess, I just- are you okay with all this?” Y/N asked

“I am beyond happy Y/N, Aaron and Jack are my family, always, and now you are too. I really do think Haley sent you to her boys and I couldn’t be happier.”

“Thank you Jessica!”

“Always! I miss having a sister, and while you’re not a replacement to anyone, you are pretty great as yourself.”

“You’ll be a bridesmaid right?” Y/N said, wiping new tears at Jess’s words.

“I’d love to Y/N. Now get back to your future husband” she smiled.

“Okay, kiss jack for me.”

She walked out on the balcony and wrapped her arms around his middle, causing him to turn and look down at her.

“I love you Aaron, thank you for making me smile again.”

“I love you Y/N.” He said kissing her ring finger, then her forehead and finally her lips.

@thebadassbitchqueen @violetclifford @kyleetheeditor @thelostallycat @mac99martin @stop-drop-and-drumroll @diesinspanishbcimhispanic @averyhotchner

[ad1thi]

If your still doing fic recs, could u rec any soft stevetony ones?

absolutely!! this got pretty long so ive hidden most of it under a read-more so i don’t annoy people. a couple of authors feature more than once. ive tried to avoid that as much as possible, but if an author features more than once - take that as a sign that they have rly good stuff for soft stevetony

disclaimer: don’t forget to leave kudos and comments for every author!! (a disclaimer i regrettably forgot to add to previous fic rec lists but will be adding from now on)

soda pops: @starklysteve

If anybody asks, Steve would smile and say it was very romantic. Very Tony. Because if he went into any further detail, nobody would quite believe him.

Tony, on the other hand, would laugh and say that Steve’s in love with a man in a can. So, really, it wasn’t outside the natural progression of things.

me voy pa’l pueblo: @firebrands

two times steve walks away, and one time that tony walks with him.

/ or, my very fluffy take on my bingo card prompt "farewells." steve is on vacation when he meets tony.

fill for my stony bingo prompt: farewells; also for bookworminaslump on tumblr who asked for a tourist/knowledgeable local au!

Tumblr Ficlets:  @omg-just-peachy (this is 115 chapters of stevetony being soft!!)

A collection of enough tooth-rotting fluff to last a year, all in one place.

tender offerings: @omg-just-peachy

Five times Steve carried Tony to bed.

the best thing (is that it’s happening to you and me):  @captainstarkreportingforduty

Or, five times the team saw Steve Rogers and Tony Stark in love.

Sweet On You: @miniblackraven

It’s the 1940’s and Tony is working as a Donut Doll for the Red Cross. His job is to go around to various military bases and offer comfort food and conversation to homesick soldiers. He’s come to expect a lot of things in this job, but he doesn’t expect to fall in love with Captain America, the hottest most awkward soldier Tony has ever met.

Bespectacled Avengers Society (Membership of One):  @baffledkingcomposinghallelujah

Tony gets glasses. Glasses get a Tony. Steve loses his mind and walks into walls.

a flower crown for your love: @anthonyed

"There, there," Pepper cooed. "Tony likes flowers?" she said with a shred of doubt in her tone. But when Steve peered up, she's smiling her bright toothy smile. He squinted and she sighed, dropping her hand from his shoulder. "He does." she insisted. "Even more so than me."

if this was a movie: @omg-just-peachy

“One of our seniors is being generous with his time this year—by force of his own actions, but generous none the less—and he’d be happy to help you, I’m sure. Tony Stark? I’ll set something up for later this week. I think between the two of you you’ll be able to pull your average up enough to make it through to playoffs,” Coulson said, with that ever-hopeful lilt in his voice.

Or, Steve needs a calculus tutor, Tony is available, but how is Steve ever supposed to focus when he's been in love with Tony for ... his entire school life?

you take me higher than the rest (everybody else is second best): @firebrands

tumblr fill for adi & anthonydarling, who asked for "'Prank' war, but the kind to see who can make the other blush the most in public" from this prompt list

amore mio:  @brucewaynery

Tony has had it with Steve being dumb and reckless out in the field, he has a family to think about now, Steve promises him that he'll be with him, kingdom come.

(initially based on that one headcanon about Italian Tony yelling and gesticulating at Steve but Peter thinks he's doing some weird dance and tries to copy him, but it got very fluffy very quickly)

Lost My Mind in a Coffee Shop: @betheflame

“Boyo,” Bucky muttered to his best friend. “I swear to God that if you don’t ask that man for his number soon, I will create a Grindr profile for you and you will not like it.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I am here to finish grading, not hit on men.”

“Can you not do both?” Natasha smirked. “Nearly tenured, historical genius, feels like something you should be able to multitask.”

&&&

In which Steve is a history professor and Tony's an engineering one and Bucky owns the joint where they have their meet cute.

AU-gust Chapter 7: @iam93percentstardust 

stevetony, childhood friends AU

Right Up The Road: @gottalovev

The day at the senate committee in Washington DC wasn't supposed to end with Tony and Steve transformed into animals by a baby witch. That said, the 350 miles trek back to the compound to get help promises to be quite an adventure too!

(or the adventures of Cat!Tony and Wolf!Steve - and how to readjust when you're back to human!)

i’ll take care of you: @elcorhamletlive

“Hi.”

Steve blinks. The sound of loud thunder roars outside, but he doesn’t jolt, too focused on the image in front of him to be startled by the noise.

He has no idea what to say, and he isn’t sure if the shock is because of Tony’s absolutely sodden state – his hair glued to his forehead, his clothes dripping with water, forming a small puddle in front of Steve’s door – or because he wasn’t expecting to see Tony for at least three more days.

“Hi?” he says, a little tentative, before his brain catches up to reality. In his defense, he was getting ready to sleep when Tony knocked. He looks at what Tony is holding – a wet mess that seems to have been a flower bouquet at some point. “What are you doing here?”

The Tally System:  @betheflame

Everyone on the team knew about the tally system.

Whenever Steve would save Tony - whether from a monster or from his own stupidity - he’d say, “tag”. Whenever Tony do the same, he’d say, “your turn”. Thor thought it was adorable, Clint thought it was ridiculous, Bruce refused to register an opinion.

Natasha thought it was something she could work with.

what’s mine is yours: @robertdowneyjjr

5 times Tony stole Steve’s clothes, and 1 time Steve returned the favor.

or

For a billionaire, Tony Stark really doesn't pay for a lot of what he wears.

I like Shiny Things But I’d Marry You With Paper Rings: @betheflame

Rhodey: I just confirmed with Sam that he’s going to make sure he cooks tonight and that his entire team is briefed. I’m heading over now to strategically arrange a fuck ton of ficus trees to block them from gen pop.

Pepper: They’re not getting engaged in a prison, Jimmy.

Rhodey: Tony Stark and Steve Rogers show up to Circe on a Saturday night in May and you watch every person in that restaurant turn into someone I’d rather arrest than eat with.

****

In which Tony and Steve get engaged, but they're kind of extra about it, because they are always themselves

the road to the stars: @shell-heads

Tony is seven years old when he sees the ballet for the first time and meets his future pas de deux partner.

His father is invited to sweet-talk politicians into a new weapons deal and explain his latest idea for their program, and his mom goes to catch up with old friends she hasn't seen in years, but Tony goes because his mom had smiled down at him and told him he would love it.

His mom's never wrong.

-

In which boy genius Tony Stark meets girl wonder Natasha Romanoff at the ballet, and they fit their broken little pieces together to make something beautiful on the dance floor.

Steve? He's just a dumb, awful, chaotic, extremely supportive older brother that really should just shut up and admit he likes Tony a lot more than he pretends, because Natasha only has five people in the world she likes; it only makes sense her two favorites would fall in love with one another.

They always were a little slow, though.

A Second Chance To Take it Slow: @omg-just-peachy

Tony loves his adopted son, Peter, but that doesn't stop him from wishing he had someone to do this whole parenting thing with. After a failed one night stand, Tony's parent-teacher conference with Mr. Rogers comes with quite the surprise.

Wake Up!: @randomstufffromotherblogs

Tony came home from a business trip and is woken up by his husband and their three-year old.

pull me closer to love:  @captainstakreportingforduty (part of a series)

“A Mother’s Day card? For... Tony?” Steve clarifies, and can’t help the smile on his face as six familiar little heads nod in response.

“But... guys, Tony’s not—“ he pauses and takes a breath, any explanation dying in his throat against the excited gleam in everyone’s eyes. “Why do you guys want to do that, hmm?"

compromises:  @robertpattisons (when i looked up OP on tumblr, this is the blog i was directed to - but i sincerely apologise if ive gotten it wrong)

Steve should have expected it, he really should have.

There were regulations that came with dating Tony Stark. Things that were clear and things that they needed to work through.

Things like how Steve always got strawberry ice cream, while Tony got rocky road. Or when Steve needed to get his homework done before he was down to make out - even though Tony always got his way.

Things like that were clear

all that you are is all that i’ll ever need: @natasharxmanov

Tony Stark and Steve Rogers announced their engagement on Good Morning America through Tony Stark’s previous secretary now CEO, Pepper Potts. And over this past weekend, I got the chance to sit down with them both, to visit their home and attend their gala, all to write this article about the most powerful couple in the world.

(Or, the fic in which Tony and Steve get married.)

(i won’t ever) trade my mistakes: @brucewaynery

Toddler Peter, painting a masterpiece with his dad.

aka: a dumb amount of family fluff to help you power through the week

[d-targaryenshoe]

Night Scares • Andrew Deluca

Notes : this is my repost of my imagine because my old tumblr got blocked lol.

Summary: Andrew has a manic episode and one of his colleagues decides to call the one person he loves.

Warnings: anxiety

Word Count: 1385

Now here you were in the bar of your dad, releasing all the steam your body was filled with after a whole day killing fires, together with one of your best colleagues, Ben Warren.

"Blowing of steam is your synonym for getting drunk isn't it?" Ben inquired, pushing the door open as both of you walked in.

"I won't get drunk when my dad is babying me the whole night." You spoke when walking towards the bar and taking a seat on a barstool.

"Hey sweetheart, you want some water?" Joe inquired when he walked up behind you and kissed the top of your head, giving Ben a clap on the shoulder before walking behind the bar with the tray on his hand.

"See what i mean?" A small laugh left your lips when you pointed your finger at your dad, filling a glass of water which made Ben put his hands up in surrender with a smirk.

"Water is healthy, alcohol makes you sing in the middle of the street and dance on top of tables in front of strangers." Ben snorted just as he accepted the glass of water your dad handed him across the bar. "That's horror."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Warren. That's not what Miranda told me on girl's night last week." You joked before raising your glass to your lips.

"So you're getting drunk with my wife every saturday?" The dark skinned man whispered, tilting his head to the side. "You're unbelievable."

"I'm an adopted daughter of a bartender that's very well known to surgeons that get their asses drunk in here after their shift, so yeah, i am." You admitted when throwing a glance at your dad as he talked to his costumers. "Oh crap."

"You never told me you were adopted Y/L/N?" Your best friend asked when you slightly froze, but knowing you had to explain anyways.

𝓣he feeling of your heart beating in your throat started to work it's way up and up and way more up every time.

Sure that this adoption was a big part of your life, but the fact that people always found out in a way. That incredibly annoyed you.

"What do you wanna know, Benjamin?" You questioned as your head was leaning on your hand while you swirled a paper umbrella between your fingers. "Joe adopted me when i was little, i don't know who my real mom or dad is, they probably didn't want me and Joe did."

The firefighter next to you nodded his head and put one hand on your shoulder, knowing that you were always strong on the outside but soft on the inside like a child.

"And you? Do you have a juicy detail about your life that I still don't know about after you arrived at the fire station?" You added with a light smile playing on your lips.

"Well if having a brother who has changed to a woman is a juicy detail, then there you go." Replied Ben with a roll of his eyes and a scoff.

"It's not a juicy detail, but it is a sign that she fulfilled her dream, he's a she now." You read when you patted his hand with a playful wink.

When it came to LGBTQ or transgender people, you were very protective because your father was gay? No, because every person is different and it is okay not to be normal and boring like a regular person.

"It took me time to accept it you know." He muttered, looking at the illuminated alcohol bottles behind the bar. "Miranda immediately accepted it, but i, i didn't."

You snorted, knowing that Ben also had his stubborn moments, and sometimes knew about himself.

A phone started ringing as you glanced to Ben but he shook his head so you grabbed yours out of your bag as it showed a private number.

"Hello Y/N, who am i speaking?" you asked, watching in Ben's direction as he gave you a questioning look.

"Good evening, this is Doctor Meredith Grey from Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, are you the emergency contact of Andrew Deluca?" A female voice spoke on the other side of the phone with a soft tone as you heard yelling in the background.

"Y-Yeah i am, is something wrong with him?" and this was when you got worried, an emergency contact was all that put you off.

"Well, Andrew is acting rather weird, and since you are his emergency contact I need you to come over here as soon as you can." The woman spoke after she ended the call.

You got of your barstool and started to gather your stuff and place a few coins on the bar, hoping your dad would find them later.

"Y/N, what's wrong?" Ben got up from his barstool a wel and watched how you gathered your stuff with a hurry.

"I need to get to the hospital across the street, now." You muttered when you were done gathering your stuff and heading for the door of the bar.

"Let me go with you." Ben mentioned as he followed you across the street, not stopping for cars but only heading for the hospital. "Y/N for god's sake!"

"Not in the mood Ben." You hissed as a dark blonde female walked up to you with a slight hurry.

"Y/N?" she asked before you nodded your head, just wanting her to take you to him. So you could calm him down. "Follow me."

Walking through the hallway you soon came to a halt when you saw him sitting down against the nurse desk with his head between his knees and hands slightly shaking.

"I've got it from here." You assured her as you saw a lot of surgeons forming a small crowd around the hallway. "Could they give him some space?"

Meredith nodded as she went to go and speak to a red haired female.

Giving your bag to Ben, you strolled over to your husband who didn't saw the clarity of anything around him.

"Andrew." You whispered when bending down and placing your hand on his forearm but he flinched. "Andrew, it's okay."

"You don't know anything, Y/N." He snapped looking you in the eyes as his skin under his eyes was slightly blue. "you don't."

"You didn't have any sleep did you?" You challenged him when rubbing your eyes of tiredness as well.

"Even if i did it wouldn't mean anything to you." Your heart broke at that sentence, the tone and the way he said it and that's what made you crack.

"If it doesn't mean anything to me, then tell me Andrew. Why am i wearing this." You mumbled when atear slipped down on your cheek and get up from the ground. "We're married for 2 years, and you think i don't care?"

"Y/N i didn-" His eyes settled on his hand as it was wearing a golden ring as well. "I shouln't have said that."

"You shouldn't have, no." you mumbled whentaking your bag from Ben and walking up to Meredith and the ginger female.

"I'm April Kepner, nice to meet you." the red haired smiled when shaking your hand. "He never acted like this before."

"We didn't even know Andrew was married." Meredith spoke, giving you Andrew's clohes knowing he wouldn't finish his shift tonight. "But now we do."

"I'm sorry, he just wanted to keep it private and so did i." You answered when accepting the clothes and turing around as you walked towards your husband. "Come on, we're going home."

"Make me."

"Devo buttarti fuori di qui (do i have to kick you out of here) ?" You tilted your head to the side placing the clothes in his arms.

"No importa (Never mind)." Was the last thing he said before walking out of the hospital with his clothes in his hands.

[ourstarscollided]

jatp fanworks appreciation - day 3 (wips)

wip wednesday - I didn’t think I wanted to join in on this day for my own stuff considering I’ve never posted anything original for this fandom, but I think this might just be the little boost I need from myself to actually finish the wips that I have sitting around. I am peer pressuring myself and holding myself accountable by posting this - or at least that’s what I’m telling myself. Most of the past 6 mths has just been me screaming to no one in a Google Doc, so here are some things I’ve been ruminating about over the last 6 months (and if my secret agenda is to get other people to write about it so I don’t have to? Then that’s between you and me).

Everything’s under a read more because I like giving context and that usually spirals out of control!?!?

If you would like to see more from any of the below, feel free to shoot me an ask/message and I can definitely share some more! (Or you can just come yell at me about JATP in general.)

Strangers Fake Dating AU // Julie x Luke

I’m a simple person. I see a prompt, I latch onto it, and then I completely miss the entire point of the prompt as my imagination goes wild for no real reason. This really was supposed to be a super short drabble, but it manifested into a 3k+ thing that isn’t even finished.

Julie’s not really sure what she’s supposed to do now. Nothing has ever prepared her for a situation in which she’s supposed to pretend to be a stranger’s girlfriend, especially if that situation involves parents. Does she continue this ruse? Can she come up with a quick enough excuse to tell this Luke character that she actually can’t stay? What if this is just all an elaborate plan to kidnap her? Has she been listening to too many true crime podcasts? Why does Luke smell so good? Does he know how to cook? Why does his shirt not have sleeves? What-

“I can hear you thinking from here.” Her head whips up at the sound of Luke’s voice, which is now at a whisper and kind of frantic. “I just- I just really needed to get my mom off my back, so I kinda need you to pretend to be my girlfriend. Just for the night. I swear I’ll make it up to you somehow.”

Julie studies Luke’s face and it’s nearly impossible to not cave under his gaze, which can only be simply described as ‘puppy dog eyes’. She finds herself smiling back, letting out a huff, “I hope you like lasagna.” And the grin that spreads across the boy’s face is enough for her to know that he’s incredibly relieved that she agreed.

“I’m Luke by the way. Luke Patterson.”

(Okay, he’s kinda cute. And no one this cute is a serial killer. Right?)

She gives a small smile back, “I’m Julie.”

//

5+1 alive!Juke AU // Julie x Luke

Inspired by paper - LANY

This is one of the first things I ever felt the urge to write down back in September because I love exploring the idea of how two people can appear to be the perfect relationship on the outside, but are actually fighting their own demons. Especially when it comes to celebrities and people who are in the spotlight. It’s basically a 5+1 fic about the moments from other people’s perspectives who happen to orbit around Julie/Luke that all revolve around paper. My outline for this is so long because I can’t manage to narrow it down, and there’s zero cohesiveness but I do have little things jotted down.

“Hey little man,” Luke’s knelt down to match his 5 year-old height, and a hand extends out to him for a high five, “What are you doing here?”

His eyes flicker to the left, towards his own apartment door, where his mom is giving him an encouraging nod. “ I- I just wanted to-” he stutters and finds himself looking at his feet as he shuffles back and forth on the spot. “I- I drew you guys something!”

He shoves the paper out towards the older boy in front of him, but doesn’t look up.

//

Reincarnation AU // Julie x Luke

I had a random thought in December about how magical it is that Julie and Luke are so tied to one another that their love transcends time and space, which will always lead them back to one another. I remember reading a book a long time ago about how the main character is fated to die at a certain age, and that kind of sparked this little idea. I can’t bring myself to actually plot out every single timeline right now, but I did manage to write a little bit.

It will never be as complex as Rosie’s idea and all the wonderful additions in the link here, and I don’t really plan on it being anything more than a small idea. But I really do still think someone should write some sort of reincarnation AU cause I’d hop on that so fast!!

“Okay- that’s not- Luke. You seriously just ran away?”

“What was I supposed to do Alex? We all know how this ends.”

His friend looks at him, face painted in understanding and he sighs, “Yeah. Yeah, we do.”

Because it’s true, Alex does know, so does Reggie and Bobby. Most importantly, so does Luke. It’s the exact same tragic love story every time.

Call it a curse or fate or destiny. Maybe it’s because Mercury is in retrograde. Whatever. It always ends the same way - with a heartbreaking goodbye, a whisper of the promise that they’ll find each other again, and the possibility of a happy ending. He’s said the same goodbye at least 734 times, but it’s not like he’s counting or anything. Fuck the universe and its mystical ways.

//

Competitive Alex // Alex x Willie

No real thoughts or reasons for this other than I just think I self-projected my need to play board games with people in real life into a fic. And maybe a little bit of my competitiveness onto Alex and then threw in Willie because I think he would be able to handle it while also finding it endearing. I also have written nothing about the actual competitiveness, it’s just 2k words of Alex crushing on Willie.

“Wait,” his eyes dart between the three boys, “You both know Willie? How come I’ve never met him?”

His roommates look at each other, and there’s a smirk on Luke’s face when he says, “Actually Alex, I think you have. Remember that time you got really drunk after one of our shows?”

Oh no. He really hopes that it’s not the time he’s thinking of, so he tries to sound nonchalant. “You’re going to have to be more specific, Luke.”

“The night we played at that tiny bar at the edge of the campus! We got paid in those tiny colourful shots?” He doesn’t really know where Luke is going with this, so he’s slowly nodding along. “And you were super upset that the hot dog vendor at the end of the street was closed?”

//

Dear Julie, Love Mom series

I made myself sad with this thought when I first watched the show and was talking to my friend about how I think that Rose would’ve left messages for the Molina family, especially when we found out that Wake Up was actually from her mom. I wrote a bigger explanation for it here.

Anyways, I started with the one for Julie’s wedding and it kind of became an 8k monster with three different POVs?!? As much as I love how I wrote this, I feel too unsure about my writing to share it in full, so you will get carefully selected looks alkfe. (I’m also kind of stuck on some of the more emotional scenes and I may or may not have procrastinated by photoshopping a moodboard for it.)

Excerpt 1 (Julie POV): A look into where I’m going with this whole letters from Rose thing.

The key clicks into place, and with a turn, the latch falls open. She’s not sure what she wants to find in the box, and she’s too scared to think about it really. All she knows is that this was the sign from her mom that she was waiting for all week, and in true Rose fashion, her mom had managed to give it to her, even if at the last second. Her dad turns the box to face Julie, and gestures to her to open up the lid.

Tucked inside is a VHS tape, the words ‘For Julie, on your wedding day’ written in her mom’s cursive on the cover. Some loose glitter and confetti fall back into the box as she reaches in to pick up the tape and turn it over in her hands. There’s a little purple butterfly etched on the back, the same one that’s been drawn on all the other messages that her mom had left her. Her finger automatically finds its way, tracing the shape of the small doodle.

“Do you want me to leave you alone, mija?”

Excerpt 2 (Julie POV): This part has absolutely nothing to do with the main plot of the story, but it self-inserted itself into this fic after @tangledstarlight and I talked about You’re Still the One by Shania Twain being their first dance. This whole scene came to me at 4am one night and might be the most self-indulgent thing I’ve ever written.

They knew that when they had asked Reggie to be in charge of the first dance performance, that they (and Alex) weren’t allowed to veto any of his ideas. Luke had warned Julie that that would be a mistake, but the giddiness that radiated off of Reggie when she had told him he could have free reign was worth it. She just hadn’t thought that he would actually take it to heart and run with it.

Sure, they had chosen You’re Still the One by Shania Twain as their first dance song, and sure it was more or less a country song, but she didn’t really imagine that she’d be staring at her adoptive brother, Carlos and her Dad wearing cowboy hats and boots at her wedding. They had somehow managed to ditch their Flynn-approved suit jackets and were sporting a taupe-coloured suede-textured vest over their dress shirts. If she looked closely, she could see that they had somehow also found some gaudy looking bolo ties with a matching set of ornamental clasps to wear. When she envisioned her wedding, she really didn’t expect that her first (public) dance as a married couple would be a full-on Western themed occasion. The only exception was Alex, who had settled on his cajon in the back, still in his pink suit, eyes rolling when she met his gaze. But even she knew how there was no real annoyance in the blonde’s reaction or else he wouldn’t also be wearing one of the tacky ties around his neck as well.

“I’m gonna seriously kill him.” She hears Luke grumble under his breath, only low enough for her to hear. But she’s still too busy giggling to actually be mad, and she knows that Luke isn’t really going to kill Reggie. At least she doesn’t think so.

Excerpt 3 (Luke POV): Idk man. My mind went “What about Luke?” and I said “You’re right!! What about him?!?”

He doesn’t realize that he’s just been silently staring at the woman in front of him, until a gentle voice breaks him out of his thoughts. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Julie’s peering at him from under her eyelashes, a curious look on her face.

“You just-” he gives a little shake of his head, trying to come up with the right words. He wants to tell her she’s beautiful. Stunning. A wicked beauty. But she’s more than that - she’s almost angelic. “I can’t believe you’re my wife.”

“Luke, we’ve been legally married for like, a whole year.” Her lips are quirked up in a grin, amusement in her voice. “You’ve only just realized that now?”

“That’s different.”

“Yeah? Different how?”

This feels a little strange to post and a little like my inner self seeking validation but let’s not talk about that.

Kskssj anyways present me @ future me: finish one of these because writing has been really cathartic for you and you didn’t think it would bring you so much joy!!!

[castielsshield]

Sutton

Title: Sutton (Leave A Message Part 3)

Pairing: Female OC/Sam Winchester

Synopsis: After losing Jess, Sam continues to leave messages on her phone as a coping mechanism. Unbeknownst to Sam, that number has been adopted by another person.

Word Count: 1,871

Warnings: None

Part 2 || Part 4 || Masterpost

— • —

   May 14th, 2006 - 8:13 p.m

     “Hi, babe. Dean and I went after a werewolf earlier today. I almost messed up the entire hunt. I had gotten to know the werewolf before we knew she was the monster, so I didn’t shoot her when she came after me. I just stood there and watched her come after me. I couldn’t see her as a monster. I only saw her as the girl I had previously been protecting. I’m sorry, Jess. I wish I had stayed away from you. If I had, you might still be alive. Sure, you would be with someone else, and I would be alone, but at least you would be alive. For that, I’m sorry.”

     May 27, 2006 - 10:18 p.m

     “Hey, Jess. Dean and I pulled over for lunch by the ocean today. It reminded me of the first time you took me to the beach. Do you remember that? I cried when I first stepped into the water and felt the waves. I know you saw, but you pretended not to notice. I don’t think I ever said thanks for that so, thank you, Jess.”

     June 6th, 2006 - 5:29 p.m

     “Hey there, Jess. I wish you were here, babe. I think Dean’s not telling me something. I don’t know what it is, but I’m so worried, and I don’t know what to do or what to say. I need your help, Jess. You were so good at figuring out a way to convince people that it was okay to tell you their secrets. I remember you wouldn’t even tell me what was going on if the other person wasn’t okay with it. I just don’t want Dean to get hurt. I wish I could get your help, Jess. I miss you.”

     June 7th, 2006 - 6:37 p.m

     “Jess, you wouldn’t believe what just happened. Well, maybe you would. Dean ate five burritos at dinner, and now he’s locked in the bathroom. The thing I left you a message about yesterday, how I thought Dean was keeping something important from me, he was just deciding what he wanted to eat five of today. I still wish you were here. I still miss you. I love you, Jess.”

     July 16, 2006 - 7:06 a.m

     “Jess, I don’t know what to do. We found Dad and saved him, but a demon hit us with a tractor-trailer when we were in the Impala. Dad is hurt, but he’s okay. Dean isn’t waking up and the-- the doctors are talking about taking him off of life support. A reaper is after Dean, but I can’t lose him. If Dean’s gone, I’ll only have dad left. Jess, do you remember what I told you about how dad used to treat Dean and me? What if he starts doing that again? What if-- what if dad tells the doctors to let Dean go? God, I wish you were here, babe. I need your help, Jess.”

     July 19, 2006 - 6:32 p.m

     “Jess, dad sold his soul. He’s gone. The last thing dad did was sell his soul so Dean could live. The demon that killed you and mom killed dad too. Jess, I’m losing everybody. What if I lose Dean too? I’m going to kill this damn demon. I’m going to kill it for killing mom and dad and you. I swear, Jess. I swear to you that I will kill this demon. I’ll kill it even if it kills me.”

     July 27th, 2006 - 1:09 a.m

     “Hey, babe. Dean and I hunted down a vampire nest today. I had to kill one as it stared right at me. I hope I never have to kill another one. When it looked at me, it seemed so human. I almost stopped and dropped my machete when it came after me. Its eyes were blue, just like yours. I miss you, Jess. I wish I were back at Stanford with you. I was so close to asking you to marry me, Jess. You would’ve been Mrs. Jessica Winchester. You would’ve been my wife. We would’ve been happy together. I would’ve been happy.”

     Those were the types of messages I got for the next couple of months. At first, I didn’t understand a thing about the werewolves or vampires. I especially didn’t know anything about the demons. However, my lack of understanding quickly mutated into motivation, yearning for knowledge. 

     I began reading old lore books. I bought everything from lore on werewolves to lore on angels and demons. I had my own money from selling my art and writing pieces online, so I never had to bring my father into the loop on what I was doing. 

     I would research one type of monster at a time, taking precise, organized notes about it as I read. I wanted to be able to reference the notes years in the future, so I kept the order of the records consistent. 

     The title of the page was the name of the monster, always placed at the top. The middle of the page was the signs and identifiers of that monster, how to kill it placed at the very bottom. On each side of that was a small column about half the size of the body paragraph. The right column was a rough sketch of the monster while the left column was filled with wardings, symbols, sigils, and other items that could be used against the monster.

     As I got farther along in my research, I decided to buy a laptop to help me research more and find signs of monsters around the country. I was also able to make copies of the lore pages in a document, so that will be helpful if I ever need to move around.

     After the message where the man revealed his last name, he began saying where he and his brother were going to ‘hunt’ the next monster. Every time I got a new location on the brothers, I would read up on the latest news articles of the town they were going to. Sure enough, every single time, the lore would match the signs in the town.

     As time went on, I learned more about the people that kill the monsters; Hunters. I learned what they did and how they moved around. I often found hunts around my state and the ones that surround it. Most of the time, I couldn’t hunt the monsters I found, but they still needed to be taken care of. My solution to that: inform other Hunters.

     At first, it was difficult to find other Hunters to pass the information to. But all I needed was one. Alexander Sutton is his name, and he was the key to my own life as a Hunter. 

     I first met Alexander when there was a string of odd killings in my hometown of Clayton, North Carolina. It was the end of February, a bit over a year after I got the first voicemail. I was at the gas station just down the road from my house. My dad was out on business again, and I had felt a need for something sour.

     I placed my sour gummy worms and bottled Coke on the counter, reaching behind me to pull out my wallet. As I twisted to my right, I caught sight of a newspaper headlining murders. I picked up the paper and began reading the first section of the article.

     ‘New Body Found By Police, Signature Matching Murders From Previous Months,’ read the headline. My eyes darted down to the sub-heading, and I inhaled as I read the bolded text. ‘Bodies Found In Clayton, North Carolina Without Their Hearts.’ 

     “Werewolf,” I murmured to myself, wincing as I remembered werewolves eat the hearts of their victims. I tapped the newspaper I was holding, signaling that I wanted to buy it as well. Pulling the cash for my purchases out of my wallet, I handed it to the cashier. He bagged my items and gave me my change. I gave him a tight smile and said, “thank you” before walking out of the building. 

     Before I made it out the door, I heard the man behind me rush forward and toss something light onto the counter. “Keep the change,” he said, pivoting on his heel and heading for the door as well.

     I was following the pale squares of the sidewalk away from the store when I felt a hand grab my shoulder. My body snapped around, and I took a step away from the person behind me. Instinctively, my left hand strayed to my back pocket, where I kept my new silver pocket knife. 

     Looking up, I realized the person who had grabbed me was the same man who stood behind me at the cash register. His eyes flicked to my hand, and he chuckled, taking a small step away from me.

     “Calm down, kiddo. I’m not trying to hurt you.” He leaned against the brick wall at his side, and he looked down at me. “You’re a Hunter.” It was a statement, not a question.

     “I’m more of a researcher, so far, but yes. I’m a Hunter,” I responded, mirroring his actions of leaning against the side of the building. I looked up at him, meeting the intense gaze of his grey eyes. ‘I might be young, but I’m not ignorant,’ I thought to myself.

     I hooked my thumb in the back pocket of my jeans, keeping my other fingers wrapped defensively around the knife. “I take it you’re a Hunter too.”

     “Yes, ma’am.” The man pushed himself off of the wall, extending his hand towards me. “My name is Alexander Sutton. I’ve been a hunter for fifteen years now. I started when I was twelve, so a bit younger than you, I’m guessing.”

     Reaching out, I clasped his hand in mine and gave it a firm shake. “I’m Ashley Whitman, but I go by Ash.” As I pulled away from Alexander, eyes focusing on his once again, I noticed the shock registered on his face. 

     His eyebrows furrowed together as he squinted his eyes. “You said your last name is Whitman?” 

     “Uh, yes. Is something wrong?” I questioned, my head quirking to the side.

     Alexander rubbed his hand down the side of his face as though trying to brush away a thought. “No, nothing’s wrong. I, uh, I just confused your last name with the name of another Hunter. That’s all it is.” He flashed me a grin, using it as an ending to his reassurance. “So, Ash, you seem to know quite a bit about hunting and I’m looking for a partner. Would you like to work on this case together?”

     I considered his offer for a moment before returning his grin with a crooked one of my own. “I don’t know. Would you be able to keep up with me?” 

     At my words, he threw his head back and laughed. Once he had regained his composure, Alexander stepped forward, gripping one of my shoulders in one hand. “I think we’re going to get along just fine. You’ve got potential, kid. You could go far in the hunting world.”

[sxveme-2]

Strawberry Pancakes // Bucky Barnes

MASTERLIST

SEQUEL TO BLUEBERRY PANCAKES

DESCRIPTION: Lily Osborne and Bucky Barnes were never blessed with an easy relationship. Whether it be emotional trauma, or Lily's parents trying to be evil scientists. But they somehow made it work, after coming together once again after the birth of Lily's nephew. They were smooth sailing for a while. He proposed, they got engaged, but have yet to marry. While also juggling raising a teenager together as Hunter reaches the age of 16 now. All the while struggling with adjusting to their new lives in Long Island, balancing careers. Meanwhile, Lily struggles with the new found fame of being the fiancé of The White Wolf; and handling the tabloids critiques on her life and gossip columns digging up any information they can on her. While trying to maintain a low profile; and handle her life as it is. And becoming parents. Lily for the second time, while Bucky, well, this is his first attempt at a biological child. All the while a new threat from their past rises up once again, blind siding the family. Bringing forward old hatchets that had been buried, and putting their relationship at risk once more.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any original Marvel characters! All canon plots and canon characters belong to Marvel Comics and Marvel Studios. This is an original work. You may not publish it anywhere else

STATUS: Unedited

NOTES: Takes place after endgame. I have elected to ignore Tony's death and Steve's leaving. Did not happen. Quick Reminder! My works are only published here, AO3 and on Wattpad, thank you.

Chapter Five: The One With Her Uncle

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 2286

    Carter Evanson was the one constant in Lily's life outside of her family. He was with her from the moment she filed for divorce with Scott, to when she wanted primary custody, all the way to when she wanted full custody. Then she utilized him once again with Hunter's adoption paperwork. Finally, however, she needed him to work those magic family law skills and get the adoption paperwork filed now more than ever.

"Did you know Scott was moving?" Lily asked, glancing behind her at Hunter from the front seat.

"I hadn't spoken with him since Christmas last year," Hunter sighed, sliding his phone into his pocket, "I'm just as shocked as you are, mom."

"That's alright, buddy," Bucky replied, sending a wary look towards Lily, "Mom and I just need all of the information."

The rest of the car ride to Carter's office in upper Manhattan was silent. No one knew what to say. The entire day had been a complete blur for all of them. Then, finally, this morning, Lily woke up and was excited to pick out a wedding dress to marry her fiance wearing. Now she was on her way to her lawyer's office so that she and Bucky could finally make it legal that Hunter was his son.

"Don't tell anyone about what is going on," Lily reminded as the three stepped into the foyer of the law firm, "The last thing I need is this spreading through the PTA right to Priya."

Hunter nodded and gripped his mom's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Lily knew this was tough on Hunter. Scott has done nothing but make the boy's life a living hell with a new bomb being dropped every other day. It didn't help that Scott seemed to have some sort of vendetta against his ex-wife, despite him being the reason they separated in the first place. It wasn't Lily's fault that Hunter resented his father. It was Scotts.

Lily always tried to be the firm front of her family. She wanted to show everyone that despite the hell they've been through, they were able to come out the other end happy. But it was hard sometimes, especially when Scott got involved in her life again. He always seemed to barge in whenever everything was finally going smoothly. Then, in classic Scott fashion, he threw Lily for a loop anytime he spoke.

Lily slid her other hand into Bucky's as the three stood in the elevator, waiting to get to Carter's floor. She remembered the nights when she and Bucky would camp out in the living room with Hunter when he was thirteen. She was pregnant and preferred sleeping in the living room since it was cooler than their room. Joey would curl up at their feet and snore softly as the three fell asleep to some cheesy rom-com movie.

Those were the times Lily found she was the happiest, when it was just her tiny family away from the outside world. She would watch Bucky and Hunter curl into one another, Bucky's flesh hand stroking the boy's blonde hair as they fell asleep. She would always get up before everyone and make pancakes and wake them up with the scent. When she was pregnant, she had an aversion to blueberries, so she'd make herself oatmeal and watch her boys devour an entire stack of pancakes.

"We're sleeping in the living room tonight," Lily whispered, glancing up at the two boys she loved more than anything, "You two, me, and Stella. We can watch movies and relax. Just like the three of us did at the old house."

"That sounds nice, mom," Hunter whispered, pursing his lips into a smile as the elevator door opened, "Now. Shall we?"

"Let's go make you a Barnes," Bucky smiled, wrapping his arm around Lily's waist and walking forward towards the office.

-----

Three hours. After three hours of Hunter explaining to Carter why there was no chance in hell he wants to be Scott's son anymore legally, the paperwork was filed. Meaning that Hunter was officially Bucky Barnes's son in the eyes of the law. Carter also took the liberty of officially changing Lily's last name in the eyes of the law to Barnes. So when the three left the office, all of them were truly a part of the Barnes family.

Lily no longer had the name Osborne attached to her name. Hunter was free of the Harvey surname. And Bucky had the family he longed for since he was a young kid in the '40s. There was nothing that Scott could do to change what was done. He was no longer Hunter's father, which meant Lily had plans to make sure everyone knew just who the Barnes family was.

"So I guess it's not weird that I call you dad anymore," Hunter weakly smiled as he slid into the car, "Oh my god does this mean I'm Stella's full brother now? Can we take it back?"

"Oh, do not start that," Lily laughed as she buckled herself into the passenger seat, "You love her."

"She's five. She's gross," Hunter grinned, sliding his phone from his pocket, "Why would I ever want to be fully related to a child."

"You weren't an angel at five either, mister," Lily chuckled, shaking her head and sending a text to Rose saying they were on their way, "I distinctly remembering you wetting the bed almost every other day."

Both Bucky and Hunter let out identical laughs as the former started the car. Lily let out a relaxed sigh as she leaned back in her seat, sniffling slightly. She hadn't stopped crying the entire three hours they were with Carter, and she was optimistic that her eyes looked huge. Bucky had barely kept it together as Hunter pleaded with Carter to get everything in immediately, and how he couldn't bear another second of having the name Harvey attached to him. Despite the trauma Hunter has faced, he was a well-spoken and driven person, especially when it came to his father.

"How do you think he'll react when he finds out?" Hunter blurted out as the three sat at a traffic light.

Lily pursed her lips and glanced over her shoulder back at her son. He was fiddling with the hem of his shirt, a tall-tell sign that something was on his mind. Lily and Bucky compiled a list of both Stella and Hunter's ticks and how they acted when something bothered them. Along with that, they worked out strategies that worked best for each reaction to help their children the best that they could.

"He has no choice," Bucky stated, "He signed the papers. He agreed. You're my son, Hunter. If he contacts you in any way, shape or form, you tell me. Your mother may be scary, but as far as I'm concerned, that's my fight."

Lily watched Bucky intently as he spoke. Beside her sat the man who went up against a titan while being calm, cool, and collected. He fought against an entire army of aliens and didn't break his composure. Bucky was the man who was brainwashed and used as a weapon but managed to keep his calm exterior while in hiding. But whenever it involved Scott, or any harm towards Lily, Hunter, or Stella, he became frustrated and outwardly ticked off. She only ever really heard him raise his voice when Hunter did something completely offside or Scott spoke with Lily.

"He's right," Lily nodded, reaching her hand over and squeezing Bucky's shoulder, "Scott isn't your father. He never really was, you know this. If he contacts you, we'll let Carter know."

The car fell silent once again as the family drove towards Rose's apartment building. The only noise that filled the void of noise was metal gripping leather. Lily knew that Bucky was on edge. He knew that Scott would try to contact Hunter before anyone else. Especially after pulling a stunt like moving in down the street and attempting to be a father in a way.

Over the years, Bucky grew angrier and angrier at the way Scott was. Especially with his treatment of Hunter. At night, he would cry to Lily about how he would have given anything in his life to have a biological son like Hunter, how he longed to have a child like him. He would tell Lily stories of how back in the '40s, Bucky would babysit the young boys in his neighbourhood with his sisters. Or how he dreamed of having a large "all-American" family.

So, when Lily told him that she was pregnant, she swore his head would explode.

-----

Lily nibbled on her bottom lip as she stared at the two lines on the five sticks laid in front of her. Each was positive. There was no questioning it; Lily was pregnant. She and Bucky were going to have a child. Hunter was going to have another sibling other than Laila. One that he'd get to see every day, not just at scheduled times with Mary. He was going to have a little brother or a little sister or a sibling in between.

Lily was going to have a child with the love of her life. She was going to give him the family that he wanted so badly. It would be difficult for them to figure out, being two working adults already with a pre-teen son, but Lily knew the child would be loved beyond words. She was going to have a baby.

"Hey, doll, what're you doing in here so long?" Bucky chuckled as he pushed open their shared bathroom door.

Lily pursed her lips as tears brimmed her eyes. Doubt shadowed her mind as she thought of the worst-case scenarios. What if he didn't want a kid with her? What if he thought it was too soon? What if he left her? Lily felt her stomach churn and face go pale as thoughts raced through her head. Her fingers gripped the surface of the counter before she decided to rip the bandaid off and tell him.

"I'm pregnant," Lily whispered, turning around to face the man that joined her, "I'm...I'm pregnant."

Lily waited for his outburst. She half expected him to turn and walk out of the bathroom altogether. She figured he would completely disappear from her life or just ignore her. But that wasn't the reaction she got. Instead, Lily found herself being held so tightly she thought her spine might crack.

"We're having a baby," Bucky whispered into the girl's shoulder, peppering it with kisses after each word, "We're gonna have a baby."

Lily felt the tears fall from her hazel eyes as she wrapped her arms around Bucky's neck. He wasn't mad. He wasn't upset. He was happy. The blonde let out a choked sob as she buried her face in his hair, inhaling the intoxicating scent of him. She was having his baby. They were going to have a baby, the two of them. After everything they had faced, Lily never thought she would see the day she'd tell him that she was going to be having his child. She never even thought she'd have another child after Hunter. But there she stood.

-----

"Stella," Lily whispered into the girl's ear, "Guess what we did today?"

"Leave me," the five-year-old pouted as she looked down at her mother, squirming in her arms, "All alone!"

"That's a bit dramatic, Stell," Bucky chuckled as he locked his arm around his fiance's waist, "We made Hunter your full brother. You're both Barnes."

"Bleh!" Stella gagged, rolling her head back dramatically.

Lily laughed and shook her head, dropping her daughter down onto the floor before turning her attention towards Sam and her sister. The four stood for a few beats in silence, appreciating the relaxing feeling that fell over them. There was nothing that Scott could do to mess up what was done. Lily and Bucky were Hunter's legal parents. Scott had signed the papers, and it was a done deal. Hunter was a Barnes, no questions asked.

"Hopefully, they grow out of this phase," Lily chuckled as she turned to look at Hunter and Stella teasing each other, "Not sure I'll be able to handle it."

"I still hate that I'm your full sister so. Not sure if they will." Rose teased before embracing her sister.

"Congrats, cyborg," Sam chuckled as he and Bucky hugged, "You've got two kids now."

"I've always had two kids, Sam. Now it's just in paper."

[tabloidtoc]

National Enquirer, November 9

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Duchess Kate sets the record straight on Prince Harry and Meghan Markle 

Page 2: Ben Affleck is wasting away and friends fear he’s taking his new health regimen too far as the six-foot-four star usually weighs 208 pounds but has shriveled to a spindly 165 -- a nutritionist put him on a sensible meal plan but he’s altered it with his own fantastical ideas such as he won’t go near bread and he’s ditched pasta and he’ll eat cantaloupe and blueberries one day and nuts and seeds the next and he’ll only drink boiled water and green tea for 24 hours then break his fast with a small bowl of quinoa -- instead of pumping iron he does exercises using his own body weight like ten-minute planks -- Ben thinks he looks great but his pals fear he’s traded one addiction for another

Page 3: Love-hungry Katie Holmes is thrilled to have a new man in her life but she’s breaking the bank to keep him happy because Katie is picking up the tab wherever she goes with Emilio Vitolo Jr. because it helps her feel she’s in full control of the relationship but Emilio may be taking advantage of Katie’s generosity because Katie has been showering him with designer clothes and jewelry and even paying for a personal trainer to whip him into shape -- Katie enjoys giving her guy things he can appreciate because he’s made her so happy but she may go broke doing it and it’s not like he doesn’t have any money; he’s worth a cool $1.5 million himself

Page 4: CNN rocked by sex scandal -- Jeffrey Toobin’s sleazy sex scandal has rocked CNN but it’s just the latest in a string of scandals at the network 

Page 5: Axed Fox News anchor Ed Henry fought back against his co-worker’s rape charges in a blockbuster lawsuit by handing the court explicit selfies and texts in an attempt to prove their tryst was consensual 

Page 6: Ryan Seacrest is downplaying his latest shocking absence from Live with Kelly and Ryan but the TV dynamo is battling a mystery illness that may force him to sign off for good -- the co-host who is a well known as a workaholic skipped out on the daytime show for the third time this year and used the coronavirus pandemic as his excuse -- Ryan was suffering badly from flu-like symptoms on the weekend before his absences but came back negative for coronavirus however doctors remain baffled by Ryan’s ongoing battles with exhaustion and weight loss and stroke-like symptoms, disgraced perv Bill Cosby’s latest mug shot shows he’s a shriveled shadow of his former self and the fallen funnyman flashed a maniacal grin while refusing to look into the camera in the picture snapped behind bars in September and he’s unshaven and his hair is ratty

Page 7: Lizzo has embarked on a radical vegan diet and extreme exercise program to save her life -- doctor warned the 350-pound singer that her daily intake of 5000 calories a day was a dangerous path to self-destruction and she needed to change her life or lose it and Lizzo finally got the message and is committed to this program but it’s been a living hell for her 

Page 8: After surviving a fiery crash at the Daytona 500 NASCAR hero Ryan Newman is locked in an ugly $50 million divorce showdown with his estranged wife -- Ryan and Kristina Newman split in 2019 after she was caught having an affair with another man and paying her love $450,000 and now Ryan’s lawyers are trying to freeze Kristina who was once referred to as the First Lady of NASCAR out of his fortune -- court papers reveal the two split in July 2019 when Kristina went to live with her boyfriend U.S. Army Captain Joe Schwankhaus who is the Chief Operations Officer of Kristina’s company VRX USA 

Page 9: Ellen DeGeneres debuted a high-flying pompadour hairstyle on her new talk show but the makeover still doesn’t get to the root of her recent problems and although her hair may be rising her show’s ratings are falling 

Page 10: Hot Shots -- pregnant Kelly Rowland, Andy Cohen took his son Benjamin for a stroll in NYC, Will Smith held court in L.A. while shooting King Richard a biopic about the dad of tennis greats Venus Williams and Serena Williams, Angela Bassett caught a drive-in screening of One Night in Miami in L.A. 

Page 11: Grieving Lisa Marie Presley has broken her silence over the suicide of her beloved only son Benjamin Keough saying her heart and soul went with him sharing her heartbreak on what would have been Ben’s 28th birthday and she added she’s dedicating herself to raising Ben’s twin half-sisters and actress sister Riley Keough, Chaka Khan refuses to duo with Ariana Grande again saying she’s not gonna do a song with no heifer -- Chaka and Ariana worked together in 2019 for the Charlie’s Angels soundtrack

Page 12: Straight Shuter -- DWTS pro Emma Slater kept a handle on her coffee while steering her e-bike (picture), it pays to be Brad Pitt’s girlfriend as his new squeeze Nicole Poturalski has doubled her modeling fees, dancing siblings Derek Hough and Julianne Hough are out of step over her sloppy personal life and his hot new judging career because these two were supposed to be the next Donny and Marie Osmond but his solo career is exploding while hers is falling apart, Madonna has always been a big believer in astrology but now she won’t even meet with people if it’s not written in the stars and she’s spending a fortune to have an army of people read her charts 

Page 13: Losing his beloved son to cancer has sparked new fears for fragile Robert Redford because Robert has struggled with his own health over the years and losing his son to bile-duct cancer is extremely worrying; he’s already frail and this has friends fearing the worst, Jeff Bridges is confident he’ll win his battle with lymphoma by coupling medical care with a strict vegan diet and chanting and spiritual healing techniques

Page 14: Convicted wife killer Scott Peterson may soon walk out of prison and grisly photos lawyers say could set him free -- following years of appeals California’s Supreme Court overturned Scott’s death penalty and now another appeal is forcing a lower court to reexamine his conviction for murdering seven months pregnant wife Laci Peterson and their unborn son Conner -- if Scott gets a retrial his legal team will be allowed to introduce new evidence including crime scene pictures that Scott’s former defense attorney said suggests Laci’s disappearance was an abduction by a satanic cult 

Page 15: Former child star Zachery Ty Bryan of Home Improvement was jailed overnight and released on $8500 bail following his bust for a fight with a galpal at an apartment complex in Eugene in Oregon -- the drama comes on the heels of Zachery’s split from wife Carly Matros the mom of his four kids

Page 16: Ryan Reynolds can’t wait to film a new rom-com with close pal Sandra Bullock but it’s causing tension with wife Blake Lively even though Blake trusts Ryan and would never forbid him from taking this part but the idea of him getting cozy with Sandra again still makes her uneasy -- now Ryan and Sandra are signed up to do The Lost City of D and despite Sandra’s denials they ever had a romance Ryan is gushing about them getting back together 

Page 17: Isolated and overlooked Today show host Hoda Kotb is being bullied off the morning show because of tepid ratings and the absence of former sidekick Kathie Lee Gifford and Mean Girls treatment by co-hosts Savannah Guthrie and Jenna Bush Hager have pushed the disillusioned anchor closer to the door -- Hoda recently filled out paperwork to adopt a third child and she’s clearly putting more emphasis on family than her career and it sends the signal she isn’t happy with her role and is not thinking of Today as her top priority, trainwreck Matthew Perry is holed up in his new Pacific Palisades beach pad�� pounding out an explosive tell-all and his former Friends are quaking about what secrets he may reveal -- Matthew wants to rush the book out while interest in the Friends reunion special which was postponed by the COVID-19 pandemic remains high -- he knows an uncensored account of his time on Friends and his drug issues would be a bestseller and he intends to blow the lid off his on-set romances and address rumors he and Jennifer Aniston were more than friends 

Page 18: American Life -- her tall tale: I have the longest legs in the world 

Page 19: Jessica Simpson has been flaunting her body after dumping a shocking 100 pounds but buddies worry the drastic drop in size isn’t natural and suspect she’s been taking diet pills again and they’re worried this could escalate into a big issue

Page 20: Devastated Reese Witherspoon was hit with a depressing double whammy -- the death of her dog Pepper from cancer and the delay of her long-awaited sequel Legally Blonde 3, Hollywood Hookups -- John Cena and Shay Shariatzadeh wed, Ashley Hebert and J.P. Rosenbaum split, Cardi B and Offset on again

Page 21: Bruce Willis is back in another Die Hard but this time it’s a commercial for Advance Auto Parts and Die Hard batteries and it’s a clear statement on the state of his career that Bruce has to revisit his amazing past to make a fast buck in the present, Giada De Laurentiis has been given the green light to get married by her 12-year-old daughter Jade -- Giada has dated TV producer Shane Farley for five years and he’s been living with mother and daughter for five months during the pandemic lockdown which gave Jade a firsthand look at what it would be like to have a new daddy and Shane’s passed the test with flying colors 

Page 22: Cover Story -- Prince William’s heartsick wife Kate Middleton is breaking her silence about the royal family’s tumultuous bitter break with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle to set the record straight and save Britain’s monarchy and she’s tired of all the rumors and lies and backbiting and after all the drama and negativity she wants to get the truth out there and end this unprecedented crisis that’s endangering the monarchy’s survival -- friends are trying to convince Kate to do an official sit-down TV interview about what really happened between once-inseparable William and Harry and how Harry and Meghan tore the family apart even before they moved to America but Kate is resisting because she fears that could backfire like Princess Diana’s TV tell-all about her marriage to Prince Charles 25 years ago -- Kate had to turn the other cheek often after Meghan joined the family and she offered to help Meghan adjust to royal life from the start but Meghan rebuffed her and Kate in tired of Meghan painting her as the bad guy especially when it was Meghan’s antics that tore the family apart -- Kate also is upset that Harry and Meghan are portraying themselves as victims of a world that’s against them while she and William take on a phenomenal workload to cover the responsibilities the Sussexes left and losing precious time with their own three children and it’s hard not to be bitter but Kate is trying to take the high road and forgive Meghan and move forward

Page 26: With their marriage hanging by a thread Tori Spelling fears Dean McDermott will cheat on her again while filming a new TV show in Canada for six months; Tori wanted to bring their 5 children to Canada with him but Dean put her off saying it would be too distracting -- she’s been a jittery mess and he can’t stand to look at her and he only took this job because they need the money, Melanie Griffith is frustrated with Chris Martin and wants him to put a ring on her daughter Dakota Johnson’s finger -- the couple have been dating since 2017 and Melanie’s fed up with waiting for Chris to pop the question -- Melanie began to lose her patience after the couple reunited following a split last June when Chris won Dakota back with promises to settle down 

Page 28: COVID Vaccines: What you need to know

Page 32: Miley Cyrus claimed she once spotted a spaceship over Hollywood and even locked eyes with an alien but she also admits she’d bought weed wax from a guy in a van in front of a taco shop, whiny Kris Jenner is blaming social media for killing off Keeping Up with the Kardashians after it helped the reality TV clan make a mint

Page 34: Ozzy Osbourne is terrified a doll has cursed him -- Ozzy told son Jack Osbourne on their Osbournes Want to Believe show that Robert the doll was responsible for his recent bad luck and failing health, Tom Cruise and his Mission: Impossible 7 team caused chaos at an Italian hospital by filming there during the COVID-19 pandemic -- Tom and his crew including 100 security staffers plus trucks and other equipment descended on the Policlinico Umberto I in Rome for a week and legions of fans also flocked to the filming creating even more commotion in the streets outside the hospital and adding to the bedlam the production commandeered an elevator drawing criticism as hospital staff were treating 140 coronavirus patients with 12 in intensive care -- filming was done in an administrative section of the hospital but still sparked an official protest as well as complaints from trade union members

Page 36: Health Watch 

Page 38: Superhero screen pals of Chris Pratt rushed to rescue the actor’s reputation after he was mercilessly dragged into a silly social media meme when a Twitter user posted pictures of Chris Pratt and Chris Pine and Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evans captioned with the instruction one has to go but a flood of responses slammed Pratt as the worst Chris causing his Marvel co-stars to prop him up such as Zoe Saldana and Robert Downey Jr. and Mark Ruffalo and Jeremy Renner and Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn and Chris Pratt’s wife Katherine Schwarzenegger also bashed the social media bullies, Matthew McConaughey kept saying alright alright alright to making romantic comedies until the day he was so fed up he turned down $14.5 million to do another one -- Matthew revealed in his memoir that he didn’t mind making a string of mindless rom-coms because their paychecks rented the houses on the beach he ran shirtless on but he eventually wanted to try something else so he turned down a big payday so he could get more serious 

Page 42: Red Carpet -- Drew Barrymore 

Page 47: Odd List