#the mere possibility that one is present ruins my life

[ganond1lf]

Sorry I’m annoying.

I swear I’m not mentioning trauma lightly, okay?

I have reached a conclusion.

I legitimately believe I have trauma from opossums.

[dewdropdinosaur]

I Wanna Ruin Our Friendship

ALASTOR x (F) READER Summary: You are Charlie's older sister and the pristine image of what a princess of Hell should be. But sometimes even perfect pretty princesses have their secrets. Warnings: NONE This was a request from the lovely @fandomfan-102 REQUESTS OPEN

In the heart of Hell, amidst the chaotic streets and vibrant nightlife, stood the Hazbin Hotel, a haven for lost souls seeking redemption. Among its eccentric inhabitants was Alastor, the infamous Radio Demon, a charismatic figure whose mere presence commanded attention. Furthermore,  Y/N Morningstar, the older sister of Charlie, the hotel's founder; too commanded the room with her devilish charm and royal style. 

Unlike her sister, Y/N was a bit more of what people expected from a princess of Hell. Though by no means was she sadistic or remotely close to some demon’s level, she was not as bubbly or optimistic as her sister. More cunning, reserved, and always dressed to impress; Y/N held power unknown and one that could possibly even rival her father. 

Fortunately or unfortunately depending on who you ask, Y/N often found herself drawn to the enigmatic Alastor. Their love, a delicate dance hidden from prying eyes, grew stronger with each stolen moment amidst the cacophony of Hell's chaos. Stolen kisses, lying about laying one's head on the other's shoulder. Whispers of sweet nothings in the back of hallways and sly hand holds.

At first, to the average outsider, Alastor might have been using Y/N for power or station but truly as time wore on; he grew to love her in his own way. Yes, their relationship was not like most but despite their differences, a deep connection had blossomed between them, eventually culminating in a secret engagement under the light of the red moon as Alastor presented Y/N with a heartfelt declaration and a ring. 

As fate would have it, soon news spread like wildfire through the corridors of the hotel that Lucifer himself would grace them with his presence. Panic swept through the inhabitants, each scrambling to prepare for the arrival of the feared and revered ruler of Hell. As rumors spread of Lucifer Morningstar's imminent visit to the hotel, tension crackled in the air. Lucifer, the Lord of Hell himself, was rarely seen outside his domain, and his presence promised both excitement and trepidation.

Y/N and Alastor found themselves in a particularly precarious position. While their love burned bright, Lucifer's presence threatened to expose their secret engagement. Yet, they dared to hope that their careful charade would remain intact. On the eve of Lucifer's arrival, Alastor and Y/N found solace in each other's company, stealing fleeting moments of affection amidst the chaos. Little did Y/N know that the carefully guarded secret was about to be thrust into the spotlight by none other than Alastor himself. 

On the fateful day of Lucifer's visit, tension hung so thick in the air a cannibal could have taken a bite out of it.. The inhabitants of the hotel stood on edge, awaiting the arrival of their sovereign. As the grand doors swung open, revealing the imposing figure of Lucifer, the room fell into a hushed silence. As Lucifer's shorter but nonetheless dominating figure materialized in the hotel's grand foyer, all eyes turned to him. Charlie greeted her father with nervous excitement, eager to showcase the progress of her ambitious project.

Alastor, ever the charismatic showman, stepped forward to greet the Dark Lord, a charming smile playing upon his lips. Power plays were always Alastor speciality. 

"Ah pleasure to meet you sir, quite a pleasure. It’s nice to finally put a face to the name. Though I must say,  you are much shorter in real life." Alastor declared with a flourish. 

With an annoyed look, Lucifer replied “Who is this? Who is this man? Are you the bellhop?” 

"Ah no. I am the host of the hotel. You might have heard of me from my radio broadcast. Or from my fiance Y/N."

If the floor could have dropped beneath Y/N, it would have. The words hung in the air like a heavy fog, suffocating the room with stunned silence. All eyes turned to Y/N, whose cheeks flushed crimson with embarrassment and whose eyes glared at her lover. Charlie's jaw dropped in disbelief, her eyes darting between her sister and the Radio Demon.

Gritting her teeth, Y/N whispered “Alastor…what in the devil are you doing?”

Lucifer's expression remained inscrutable as he regarded Alastor with a raised eyebrow. "Is that so?" he mused, his voice dripping with disdain. "Well, well, it seems my daughter has been keeping secrets from me." 

Charlie's jaw dropped in shock, her mind struggling to process the unexpected revelation. She shot a bewildered glance at her sister, who could only offer a sheepish shrug in response.

The spirited founder of the Hazbin Hotel stood frozen in disbelief, her eyes widening in shock at the bombshell dropped by Alastor. She blinked rapidly, struggling to comprehend the sudden turn of events.

"Wait, what?" Charlie stammered, her voice laced with incredulity. "Y/N, you're engaged to...Alastor?"

Husk, the cynical bartender with a penchant for chronic alcoholism, arched an eyebrow at the revelation, his expression a mixture of skepticism and mild amusement.

"Well, I'll be damned," Husk remarked dryly, a small smirk playing on his lips. "Guess Hell just froze over." His boss did really have it in him.

Angel Dust, the flamboyant and irreverent resident of the Hazbin Hotel, let out a raucous laugh at the surprising news, clapping his hands together with glee.

"Hot damn, talk about a plot twist!" Angel exclaimed, his eyes gleaming with mischief. "Looks like we've got ourselves a real-life soap opera unfolding right here!"

Despite the initial shock, the atmosphere soon shifted, morphing into a cacophony of laughter and chatter as Lucifer not so graciously accepted the news of his daughter's engagement. After several threats towards the Radio Demon, the King of Hell reluctantly relented though he did stay close to his oldest daughter’s side the rest of his visit. 

Alastor and Y/N found themselves enveloped in a whirlwind of congratulations and well-wishes from their surprised friends and colleagues.

As the night wore on, amidst the revelry and celebration, Alastor and Y/N stole a quiet moment alone, their hands intertwined as they basked in the warmth of their newfound truth. Despite the unexpected turn of events, they knew that their love would endure, for in the heart of Hell, where chaos reigned supreme, their bond remained unbreakable. Though Y/N did get payback at Alastor for his little stunt. You can imagine how that went over my dear reader. 

[genoskissors]

Analysis and Theories of Jataro Kemuri’s Mother

I break down sentences of the letter written by Jataro Kemuri’s Mother and interpret their meaning as well as attempting to understand her feelings. Just to clarify, I acknowledge she is an awful person. This is an attempt to understand her, not defend her.

And, to address the elephant in the room, the reason I am writing about a character no one cares about as opposed to my beautiful and wonderful beloved is because if I wrote about her, we’d be here all year.

Also: The note contains four paragraphs, but I have them broken up to make this easier to understand and comment on.

Title: “I Shouldn’t Have Had Him”

Little commentary here, but just note how she is saying “him”, meaning she is addressing herself or another, not Jataro directly.

“There's so much I can do if my son didn't exist. So much I could have done if I never had him.”

The clear things we can make out from this are that Jataro’s mother views him as the sole obstacle in her way. She doesn’t say she wants to kill him, but rather, she wished he never existed at all. Keep this in mind for later. It’s less clear what the circumstances are behind his birth.

While you can interpret this as Jataro being a mistake, it is also possible she wanted Jataro, only for events to lead her to regretting him. Personally, I’m inclined to believe the latter. When she says she “shouldn’t have had him”, she’s specifically referring to giving birth to him, not conceiving him. She doesn’t say she shouldn’t have had sex or shouldn’t have gotten married, she says had him. It implies that Jataro was conceived on purpose, only for his mother to realize it was a mistake afterward. She also named him Jataro, meaning “snake son”. We don’t know if this is a name she liked or if she named him this out of hatred.

There’s no mention of Jataro’s father from either him or his mother, so it’s safe to assume he’s completely out of the picture or not present enough. It’s possible she was formerly in a better situation and something happened. She says something that can be used as a clue, but that’s not until the next lines.

Another thing, she doesn’t just blame Jataro for existing, she blames herself for allowing him to exist. She could have said “So much I could have done if he didn’t exist”, “So much I could have done if he wasn’t here”, “So much I could have done if he died”, but she inserts herself into the blame here. Jataro’s mother says if “I never had him”, meaning she accepts responsibility for being the one to ruin her own life.

“I could have obtained qualifications and licenses, taken lessons, worked more.”

Now here’s that clue I was talking about. Of course, anyone can take lessons, but the combination of these things sounds, to me, like she was fairly young when she had Jataro. These all sound like her youth, which includes twenties, was cut short. She still had time to be something bigger. Jataro’s mothers starts this off saying there much she “can” do, but follows that up with saying there are somethings that are now in the past that she “could have” done. I’ll stop with my theories for now.

It is also known that his mother is likely a workaholic. On top of this sentence, Kotoko refers to Jataro as a “latchkey kid”, which is a child who returns home from school to an empty home because their parent(s) are working.

“Instead, my entire life is just a platform for my son's life.”

Jataro’s mother says that she now has no life separate from her son. There is no time for herself. This further implies that she is now a single parent. She previously stated she wanted to work more, but it was for her own goals. She wanted to work and have her own achievements, but now she feels her purpose has been reduced to merely providing for someone else. She can’t go back and get an education because now she is too busy providing for Jataro. Why can’t she get an education after he’s out of the house? Because at that point she feels like her life is done. She now exists only to care for Jataro, which is why she cannot imagine a future in becoming something greater.

“I think about it every night before I go to sleep. If I woke up in the morning and my son was dead, how splendid would that be?”

Here’s where it’s clearly starting to get to her. She thinks about it every night. She desperately wants to wake up and see that she is free again. If Jataro dies, she now has one less person to keep alive and gets back her personal life.

She also sees his death as nothing but good news. But, like I mentioned earlier, she hasn’t expressed any desire to kill him. She just wished something else would come in and fix her life for her.

“But every time I wake up and see him, I sigh. Why are you still alive? Why do you have a normal life?”

Now, this isn’t really important to her character, but the way Jataro’s mother phrases this could mean that Jataro gets up earlier than she does. She says “see him” but if he was dead he’d still be visible. She could mean it as “seeing living”, she doesn’t wake up and go to his room, she wakes up and sees him at some point.

She asks herself a question that is obviously towards Jataro, but she’s not asking him this. Jataro says his mom hates him, but only says what she told him, never what she asked him.

“Why do you have a normal life?” Holds two statements in one. First, she’s showing jealously. She’s asking how come he has a normal life, but I don’t? Why is he living as if he isn’t ruining her life. Second, she thinks his life is normal. Rather than acknowledging his toxic environment and his mask, I think she says normal as in happy. She knows she mistreats him, but wonders why he still wakes up and lives another day, because to her, it’s exhausting.

“I yearn for the day he stops being healthy and stops growing and just disappears. That's all I want. Why can't you just do something that simple for me?”

Another example of Jataro’s mother wanting him gone but not saying she’s going to harm him. The term yearn also cranks up the desperation tenfold. She then acts like his death or disappearance wouldn’t be that big of a deal.

Personally, I think it’s apparent she still has a sense of responsibility towards her son. While being outright abusive, she still never attempts to physically hurt him. She is the provider of his food, but doesn’t attempt to stop him from being healthy. She just waits for it to happen someday.

It could be feelings of weakness. She feels like it’s her sole purpose to provide for him, so the idea of killing him never even crosses her mind.

“I want him to die so badly it makes me cry. And the fact that he has such a worthless face just makes me even more sad.”

At this point, she’s overworked and tired. She’s become depressed from how badly she craves a new life.

Notably, she still doesn’t mention his father. Her hate for his face comes purely out of hate for him and it’s because he looks happy. When she tells him that he’s ugly and all these terrible things, it’s because she can’t handle the idea that he could have any success in life. The idea that he could have a good life after being what ruined hers.

Another thing not commonly known is that Jataro actually made his mask himself, but his mother is the one forcing him to wear it. It’s a bit unclear how this happened but my ideas are that she forced him to make something covering his face. Jataro is genuinely convinced there’s something wrong with his face and asks why she would make him wear the mask. The only way I can think is that he made it at her request and wore it.

“It makes me think I'm the one who's wrong. I shouldn't have had you.”

When his mother looks at Jataro’s face, she shows empathy for a second. She looks at his innocent face and thinks that she’s the bad guy for hurting him. However, she quickly ignores that thought. Again, she says I shouldn’t have had you. Despite addressing him previously, this “you” feels more direct. She isn’t asking rhetorical questions, she’s asking outright. Now, it still might be a secret from Jataro, but it’s clear she had a piece of her that wanted him to see this.

She closes this off with calming down from talking about him dying and reverting to simply seeing him as a mistake she made. She shouldn’t have given birth to him.

Conclusion (with Theory)

I think Jataro’s mother is someone who had a relationship and got pregnant when she was fairly young. Eventually, the father became absent and Jataro’s mother realized the life she had ahead of her if she didn’t have a child. She started to crave this dream and it led to her resenting her son, but also herself.

Thanks for reading all this. Sorry if it makes no sense, I’ve never been too good at writing.

[itstheendofthegoddamnworld]

Demon Knight: Odel 2

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Part 1  |   Part 2

A/N:

I wasn’t expecting the number of likes from the previous part, and I want to thank everyone for the kind comments! I’ve been a bit low and didn’t think it would get any likes, so it means the world!

I honestly didn’t know how else to write it, apart from the two of you discussing what to use as a ring.

-

Ad Laetitiam et Pacem Part 2

Sir Odel was a mighty knight indeed: armed and readied for anything to protect you with.

He was one to keep you close and possible enemies away: lending travellers little or no sight of you, pretending the Whitehaven Hold was merely a sight of ruin. You opted for a life of seclusion, finding it rather quaint not having servants at your whim, and the title of runaway seemed to suit your needs.

Odel was a great companion when you needed one in the loneliness: learning more and more about him by the day. He told you of the previous lord he watched and protected, his family, the life he lived and how he came to the pact of defence.

Turns out, it had been a usual occurrence for a demon like himself to make a living out of service to another. He had been a lessor lord in the underworld, a knight bound by service and duty.

He was older than you imagined, older than the soil of the world, borne before all life was created.

“What you’re offering to me,” Odel began, watching as you knitted by the well-lit fire, occupied in thoughts and peaceful silence. “this marriage pact, do you have a ring?”

You snapped up to look at him. “I never thought of that,” you thought carefully. “I guess I said it at the moment. Usually, a lord provides the ring—that’s what my father told me.”

“Your father is most correct,” he said. “Thought there are other items that can be used to replace a ring.”

“How so?”

“Well, some cultures use a sword, an axe or a great axe.” He stated, polishing his sword. “It is for both to present a sword. It represents a ring to give to one another.”

“That’s rather interesting,” you pondered. “Though I don’t think I have the strength to offer you a sword.”

“How about a dagger?”

You watched as the demon knight unsheathed a dagger from his hip, its hilt as black as obsidian, a ruby gem embedded in its hilt in all of its beauty. “I offer you this dagger as a symbol of our marriage.” He stood, walking towards you, his armour creaking as he went.

Before you, he knelt once more, the dagger held up for you. Cautiously, awaiting, you did not grab for it just yet. “I will protect and swear arms to you. Protect you in sickness and in health. For as long as you may live, your life is mine to protect and love.”

You blushed heavily, gingerly taking the dagger carefully in your hands, observing it in amazement. The blade was unlike anything you had seen crafted, the blacksmiths of your father’s kingdom had never seen the likes of this material, nor did you believe it was of this world.

“Wait—how about this.” you patted yourself down quickly, remembering you could have something to offer. The ring was given to you as a gift of your birth. It was small, but with some string, you found on you, you tied it around the ring, offering it closely to the knight to wear.

“I offer you this ring, as a symbol of our marriage.” You began. “I will keep you close to my table, and provide the needs any husband requires.”

“Requires?” He inquired.

“Needs—erm, like kin?” You hesitated, realising how incredulous you sounded.

Odel was silent for some time before a loud chuckle resonated from his armour, old and powerful. “You shan’t expect that from me.” He reassured. “I swear it.”

You nodded, continuing. “I shall adore you, in sickness and in health. Now until the moment of my death.”

Odel looked pleasured, reassured by your words, embracing the ring to his chest. He tied it around him, and the simple act was enough to make you feel a level of comfort.

Princess you had been, now, forever in peace.

[heyidkyay]

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Fourteen

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 

Authors Note: First bit is a lil messy! BUT it's just a way of moving through time whilst letting you know what's going on. Apologising anyway, tried to make it as simple as possible! Idk how I’m really feeling about this series atm ngl, hopefully I’ll find some more inspiration soon x

> Just a reminder! We left the last update with Mouse and her mum talking about Matty:) You can look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

Mirror

14:04, 26 Dec 2023

For Christmas Denise Welch reunites with..

LOOSE Women star Denise Welch had a fun-filled Christmas this year with her two sons and...

*picture: family gathering featuring Matty Healy in red beanie*

comments:

@/user1  Glasses and beanie combo>>> @/user2 He was wearing that yesterday too @/user3 I wish my family was chill enough to take a xmas pic😭

[HOMESCREEN] 11:12

Facetime now Matty:)!! Incoming Call

Messages 4m Finnleyyy So will I be seeing my best mate this nye??

Instagram 11m Trumanblack mentioned you in a private story

TWITTER: ‘75 updates @/75updateacc Matty spotted out in Manchester!  *picture: long trench and red beanie*

Ugh! @/user1 Matty on new years! *with old friends // red beanie tucked into a jacket pocket* > Loveme @/user2 The beanie is spotted again.. >> Saidhello @/user3 @/user2 Been all over his ig stories too 👀 friends? @/user4 I'm sort of obsessed w it and the fact it's stirring up so many questions💀 ppl, @/user5 it's so nice to see him actually happy!! lemmebepartoftheband @/user6 WAITING ON THE NEXT ALBUMMMM

Instagram

Trumanblack Story today

The Sun

23:47, 31 Dec 2023

MATTY HEALY SPOTTED OUT FOR NEW YEARS CELEBRATIONS AFTER 'SUPPOSED' SOBRIETY

The 1975 frontman was seen out in London this evening with friends and other members of the band celebrating a...

*picture: Matty Healy all dressed up and sporting a red beanie*

comments:

@/user1  shit like this ruins people @/user2 That hat again! Was it a Christmas present? @/user3 another celeb trying at sobriety, another bullshit article @/user4 Where in London even was this?

TWITTER: ‘75 updates @/75updateacc Band's interview with Variety today, click here for the video! Will be updating later on today:) *boys all pictured: George/shades, Matty/beanie&longtee, Ross/hairdown, Adam/leatherjacket*

[HOMESCREEN] 13:52

Messages 3m Matty:)!! Just wrapping up now, should be able to call in 10 x

Youtube 9m Recommended: The 1975 - Talks of tour? | VM Radio Uk

Instagram 21m Trumanblack just added to his story

AdelineWells sent you a direct message

23 New Notifications click to open

TWITTER: Partoftheband @/user1 Talks of tour??? Are they trying to kill me? Gotabf @/user2 The beanie!! It's back!! Milk @/user3 You reckon he's washed it? People! @/user4 He wears so much designer shit, why's he wearing a hat that looks like it was knitted by my nan??

--

With January, came sleet and heavy rain. Forcing us all indoors and making quick regrets over arduous New Year’s resolutions.

I had half a dozen interviews lined up in the first month alone, which was a promising start to the year but also incredibly nerve wracking. I’d spent the majority of the wavering days between Christmas and the 31st fretting over each and every detail, beyond thankful that my mum had stuck around a little longer after the festivities to help keep Teddy preoccupied.

Adi, thankfully, was stuck in the exact same boat, which meant that we could both bear the burden together. Leading to a whole lot of time being spent on the phone, making plans, or down at the studio, where Teddy could roam free. We were moving up in the world, as Matty now liked to claim, and so that meant more of our time being taken up by mundane tasks such as asking Hozier’s PA what kind of drink he preferred and avoiding a couple of Podcaster's sudden opinions on us.

Still, we were forever grateful.

Though it wasn’t just the radio show getting shafted with a shit ton of toil either, it appeared that work had Finn headed off to the States for a few gallery openings, and Matty pulled in all sorts of directions whilst the band sorted out their upcoming album.

I hadn’t heard a word of it, although the singer kept on endlessly chattering away about how much he loved the songs they were now producing, suddenly leased with a newfound life. Which always left me feeling happy, even if I did have to wait alongside the rest of the world to listen in. It was nice knowing that he was enjoying it all once more. Seeing as, music made Matty and Matty made music. And all that.

So anyway, what I’d been getting at there was that the last few weeks had been all too trying. Enough so that Matty and I had hardly seen hide nor hair of each other, and our Facetime calls had been fair and few. Which was something that didn’t just sadden me, but Teddy too it seemed, who’d come to quite like the musician and all of his odd quirks.

That fact in itself had almost sent me running, in truth.

And maybe that was silly of me, but Teddy was my everything and it killed me to see him upset over someone he barely even knew. But then again, I supposed he did know Matty in a way. Whenever Matty called, Teddy was there to tell the man about his day, whenever Matty texted he never failed to ask after Teds, whenever he sent pictures and videos of the studio and whatever else he was doing they were usually for Teddy to see. 

I didn’t think Teddy had ever attached himself to a person so quickly. Which really did surprise me. Though oddly enough, what surprised me much more was the fact that Matty had just soldiered on and stuck with it, instead of running for the hills the first chance he’d gotten, like I’d expected. 

Which was perhaps a bit of an unfair assumption on my part, but it was something I didn’t feel too guilty over- I’d made that clear to Matty the very first day the two of them had met after all.

Saying that though, I was left to eat my words as I watched that same man galavant his way around a London Zoo with a four year old plopped atop his shoulders. Doing so without complaint, and thoroughly enjoying it too.

“There! There, Matty! You see?” I heard Teddy call out in loud excitement as I trailed my way on after them, his little fingers holding onto the red beanie Matty now often favoured. Something I relentlessly teased him about but which left me feeling all warm every time I saw it.

“Oh yeah! I do now. Wow monster, how’d you even spot him over there?” Matty replied, feigning obvious awe and grinning madly when Teddy leaned over the top of his head to poke his face into view.

“I eat carrots.”

I snorted at the simple answer Teddy gave and Matty, forever charmed by my toddler’s antics, nodded around a low chuckle of his own. “I’ll make sure to buy a couple on my way home then.”

Stepping closer, I found it strange to be in a zoo so lifeless. Which probably sounded even more peculiar, but then again, it hadn’t been my idea to go ahead and rent the entire place out just so that we could have a nose around at all the wildlife without Matty getting mobbed. What a diva, hey?

“I still can’t believe you did all this.” I murmured to him once Matty had set Teddy back down on the ground, leaving my son to run on over towards one of the caged fences, calling out to the languid lions that laid beyond it.

“It’s sick.” 

That had been Matty’s only defence since having arrived and me figuring this all out, it was as endearing as it was bewildering. 

“It’s mental is what it is, you idiot.”

He glanced over at me, hands tucked up in his pockets, a smug grin now painted on his face. I crossed my arms over my chest, refusing to be charmed by him and his inane antics. 

“Admit it, you’re loving this. Not having to worry about losing the kid and actually being able to get a look in at this lot.” Matty argued, and if he were anyone else he’d be swaying back and forth in utter delight- Wilmslow’s very own Willy Wonka- but all he did was simply look back at Teddy with a prideful grin, who was now currently trying to lure a lioness in closer.

Thing is, he wasn’t wrong. And Matty was enough of a git to know it too.

I didn’t grant him a reply though and instead wandered over to drag my son away from the ever nearing lion. “Did you see, mama? She likes me!”

I had to grin and bite back my sudden hysteria, although Matty snorted from his place now back beside us. “I did see, lovely! How about we go look at the snakes though now, hey?” And with that, Teddy was eager to part from us (and thankfully the lion) , sprinting ahead in the direction of a lizard sign that stood not too far away, leaving Matty and I to trail behind.

“Where all the animals are locked behind glass, yeah?” Matty piped up after and I narrowed my eyes at him in return, refraining from giving him a right good shove.

“Shut it.”

He merely cackled and looped an arm around my shoulders.

–

“They should just get back together. I mean- the money alone!”

I chuckled quietly to myself, moving about the tiny kitchenette at the studio and rolling my eyes at the man propped up between a Guinness World Records book we had and the sugar tin.

“I’m not saying that they shouldn’t! I’m just saying that they won’t.” I argued back, still rifling my way through a drawer in search of a sharp enough knife. “Those are two completely different things.”

“So what?” Matty scoffed, his displeasure with the whole debate managing to seep its way through the phone. “Fucking pair of pillocks, can’t even imagine how the world would react, the industry alone!”

I smiled, all too familiar with the daily rants of one Matthew Healy. This particular tirade of his had been spurred on by a comment I’d made on today’s show, it seemed he’d been listening in.

“Oo, is there a brew going for me?”

I glanced behind me just in time to spot Adi making her way into the studio, a large duffle bag for tomorrow's shoot thrown over her left shoulder. 

“Who else?” I quipped back, grinning victoriously when I finally found the trusty blade I’d brought over from mine so many years ago now that laid between a wooden spoon and a jar opener.

“What are you even doing?” She asked me next, having already tossed the bag down onto the sofa and made her way over. She waved when she spotted Matty’s familiar face upon opening the fridge, used to his presence cropping up here and there by now, “Alright, Healy? Thought you had big meetings today.”

“We do. I’m currently hiding out in a bin.”

Adi paused to blink at the absurd reply and then shrugged, not seeing the point in questioning it any further. “And you?” She prompted me, plucking a pint of milk from the fridge and slamming it closed.

“So full of questions today, high inquisitor.” I sang, already moving to slice into the whole watermelon I’d brought on my way in, having right fancied it when I’d passed by the fruit & veg stall up on the high street. “And what do you think, Ads? Exactly what it looks like.”

“Yeah, but why?”

I just shook my head in answer and Adi seemed to take that for what it was, a blatant dismissal. Matty though, ever so sweet, must’ve felt a bit bad because I heard him pipe up again, “She’s gone and brought a whole watermelon. Paid five quid for the thing, you believe that?”

“Five quid! Did he ask if he could spit in your face too?” Adi all but exclaimed, eyes as wide as saucers as she looked over at me.

“Yes, five quid.” I stressed, having already heard enough of it from Matty, who didn’t have a leg to stand on here. “Now leave off, or I won't share.” I wielded the knife between the pair of them jokingly and Adi relented easily enough, already moving to skim a piece I’d just cut from off the counter. I cast a shrewd glance towards my phone, “And besides you can’t talk, Mr. Millionaire.”

Matty snorted.

“Is it really that much?” Adi wondered out loud, sweeping over to get a better glimpse at my screen and the man hidden within it.

I rolled my eyes and smirked, already figuring that she’d try her luck with just that thought alone. 

“Piss off, Wells.” Matty laughed, amused by the ever so sweet smile Adi had suddenly conjured up for him and the way she was now batting her lashes, “How the fuck did we go from watermelon to my networth anyway?”

“Extortion.”

“Nepotism.”

I stopped slicing to taste test a chunk of watermelon and heard Matty heave a heavy sigh.

Adi, though, just moved to ask, “Did you threaten the fruit & veg man then?”

“Fucking should’ve.” I muttered, but couldn't quite bring myself to regret the wasted fiver then, not when the fruit was almost heavenly.

“Can you stop eating? I’m in a crisis you know, and fucking starving.” I heard Matty complain, his voice practically petulant.

“Actually, you’re in a bin.” I corrected, taking another chunk, “So don’t be a drama queen. If you’re hungry, order a Deliveroo or fuck off home.”

Matty was almost pouting when I slid on over to join Adi by the phone, a plate overwhelmed with watermelon now towering between us. His frown deepened. “You’re proper evil, you know that?”

I simply grinned, “You love it.”

Only Adi noticed the faint hue that bloomed across the singer’s cheeks then. Seeing as I was already rambling away once again, talking about the weekend get-together we’d planned now we all had some time to spare.

“You’re still coming, right?” I then asked Adi, who was now smirking for some reason. I raised a brow.

She merely hummed around her next slice and dipped her head at me, “Wouldn’t miss it for the world, babe.”

Matty’s eyes narrowed at that but I deemed it better to ignore whatever the two of them had going on, I found life to be much simpler that way.

–

It was almost gone nine and still no sign of her. 

She had texted almost half an hour ago now, saying she was headed out, but Matty still kept his phone in hand, spinning it this way and that, just in case she tried messaging again.

“You’re driving me mad with that, man.” George suddenly announced, drawing Matty’s attention back to the table at the overcrowded club they’d picked out. “Stop it.” He added, swatting at Matty’s forearm when he’d barely acknowledged him the first time round.

Matty’s brow pinched but he let the mobile go with a clatter to the tabletop, “Happy?”

George exaggerated his smile in the same sense Matty just had whilst he clasped his hands in mock prayer before him, “Incredibly.” Then he relaxed back in his chair once more, face softening as Matty’s eyes shot out across the floor for the umpteenth time, “God, you’re really fucking strung up on this one.”

“Eh?” Matty immediately asked him, his head spinning back around to spare a glance at his mate.

“Just,” George began with a slow shrug, his chin dipped against his chest now in the way that he’d leaned back making his eyes appear all the more solemn. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you so invested, is all.”

“Invested, fuck’s that meant to mean?”

Goerge just huffed. “I don’t know, Matty. Just, you’re not usually the type to get so caught up on a girl you’re chasing.”

“I’m not chasing her. We’re mates.” Matty hastily defended and could feel the way his face had instantly scrunched up with the force of it.

He was gifted a short snort in return, “Yeah man, sure, and I can fly a shitting plane.” At Matty’s ever darkening expression, George sighed once more and moved to prop himself up on his knees, “Look yeah? I didn’t mean nothing by it, only curious. It’s weird seeing you all moody and pent up about somebody. Been a while.”

It had been a while since he’d last seen someone properly, but that didn’t suddenly mean that he and Mouse currently had anything going on. He’d been too focused on staying clean, working on the album, and trying to forget the last year and a half had ever happened. And Mouse… well, she had a kid and didn’t seem the type to take to anyone so easily. They were mates. Just, mates.

Matty must’ve been quiet a little too long though because when George spoke again his voice had softened, as had his face. It almost looked pitiful now, enough that Matty wanted to force him away from his line of sight. But he didn’t, only glanced back out towards the floor.

“Matty, mate. I really didn’t mean to piss you off, you know that. I’m just saying it how I see it.” Matty rolled his eyes but George only continued to talk, “It’s obvious that you like her, man. Whether it’s just as friends or something more. But do me a favour and just have a long think about it, yeah? She’s nice and all, but I don’t wanna see you hurt.”

Matty bit back the scoff that lodged itself in his throat, “If anything, G, it’d be me hurting her. Wouldn’t be that unexpected though, would it?”

George’s hand came to grasp his shoulder at that and with a firm but gentle grip he forced Matty to better face him, he leaned in so his voice would carry over the music, his forehead now furrowed. “You’re not a bad person, man. Not everyone’s expecting you to fuck up all the time.”

Didn’t that feel like a fucking lie.

The hand pressed further and George shook Matty a tad, wanting him to comprehend his words. Take them in. “You’re doing good, mate. Really good. And we’re proud, alright? We are. All I’m saying is, have a think about what you want. Make sure you’re happier for it, make sure… that you can deal with everything that comes along with it. Understand?”

Matty’s mouth felt a little dry as he stared up into George’s eyes, seeing the genuine care held within them. Almost immediately Matty felt his walls crumble down around him and he struggled to find the right words to respond with. They were proud. So instead, he just nodded and George’s hand clapped the back of his neck with a winning grin.

“Good. Now, go get her, yeah?”

Matty frowned at the words but before he could think to question it the table was moving to welcome in a couple of newcomers and he turned in his seat to meet the eyes of a smiling Squeaks.

“Hey you.”

“You made it!”

She grinned back at him, beamed actually, and Matty felt his eyes flicker down to her lips for a second, then down further to the lovely little dress she’d decided on. He hastily stood up to greet her, wrapping her up in a hug- something that had come more and more naturally to them in the last few weeks- and rocked slightly. “Get all dressed up for me, did you?”

Mouse pulled away with a laugh, her head thrown back a tad before her glistening eyes set themselves back on him, she squeezed his arm, “You wish.”

He did wish. But he didn’t voice that passing thought out loud, filing it away to stress about later, and instead shuffled nearer to whisper, “You do look gorgeous though.”

The skin by her ear prickled with goosebumps and Matty pulled away before he could get too caught up in what that might have meant. He graced her with a slow smile, “Drinks?”

She let go of a breath, then smiled brightly back at him with a dip of her chin, “Drinks.”

–

“I haven't heard a word of it!” I said, pushing my drink down onto the table. I was currently on my fifth of the night, but the guys were forever getting new rounds in and so I knew it wouldn’t take me long before I was handed another. 

“You said you didn’t like our stuff!” Matty immediately answered back, his voice a tad bit higher now.

I gaped at the claim, “I did not!”

“Yes, you fuckin’ did!”

The rest of the table was watching on in ever growing amusement, Ross’s eyes were dancing back and forth between Matty and I, whilst Adi wore a grin that could probably help power Blackpool Tower. 

“I said I loved your earlier work. I didn’t say I hated the newer stuff!” I rebuked, desperately trying to think back to that first show I’d mentioned Matty in. Had I really said that?

Matty went to speak but Hann cut in before he could, “You two are mental. All I asked was whether she’d heard anything we’d been working on.”

George snorted, managing to drag his eyes away from his fiance to smirk at the pair of us. “Remember she claimed the band looked spent.”

Matty jumped to point in George’s direction, pleased, whilst my eyes widened, “I wouldn’t!”

“You did, love.” George laughed, looking more amused than hurt which was the only thing keeping me from being physically sick. “It’s alright, no harm done.”

I fish-mouthed, but even with that having been said, Matty was still grinning victoriously. “Fucking told you.”

Wrinkling my nose, I turned to neck the rest of my drink. “Yeah, well. I do love your songs, alright?”

Matty’s brows upturned, as if he was about to deny the claim and accuse me of lying, but Adi cut in, “No it’s true, she's been listening to your shit nonstop since you two met. Like it’s grating at this point.”

“Harsh.” Ross dragged out and Adi gave him a coy smile when she went to pat his chest, “You try listening to his gob on repeat and then we’ll talk, yeah?” She retorted easily, dipping her head towards Matty, whose face scrunched up unhappily.

“Careful, Wells. Starting to sound like you might not like me.”

Adi flashed him a toothy smile, “Who claimed I ever did?”

I was quick to reach out and grab Matty’s wrist when he frowned, ready to open his mouth once more. The motion seemed to grab most, if not all, of his attention because he wavered in his stance before letting himself be pulled over.

“He’s fragile, Ads.” I chuckled to her, hand cradling the back of Matty’s head when he leaned in to press his face against my shoulder. “All the big rockstars have delicate egos.”

Adi snorted and I watched as she let Ross drape an arm over her shoulders, her hand finding his.

“Not fucking fragile.” Matty said, but the heat of it was lost in the mumble against my skin, I laughed.

“Sure, babe.” I murmured fondly, smiling when I felt the curve of his grin against my neck. I started to run my hand through his hair almost unconsciously, letting the alcohol dim the anxious worries that would typically cloud my mind. “You’re a real man.”

“A real fuckin’ man.”

I rolled my eyes with a shake of my head that must've disrupted Matty’s newfound peace because he pulled away slightly, hands falling to rest on my hips, keeping us close.

“You’re proper nice, you know?” He mumbled in contradiction to our previous argument, his head falling forward to press his forehead to mine. His eyes appeared so much darker in this light, the little space between us had me holding my breath. “So nice.”

Instantly I was reminded of one of the first conversations I’d had with Adi about Matty, he’d been nice then too. “Thanks.” I chuckled before swallowing, eyes trailing between his before I voiced the thought. “You’re nice too.”

He smiled, one of those lazy ones where his eyelids drooped and the skin around his mouth wrinkled. His stare dropped ever so slightly and my mouth parted on instinct.

Matty licked at his lower lip, teeth grazing it ever so slightly. “I’m glad I met you.”

My heart stuttered in my chest, squeezing in on itself so tightly that I thought it might just give out, before it finally let go. “I don’t think I’ve ever been told that before.”

Matty tilted his head at me causing the tip of his nose to brush against mine, I struggled to remember to keep breathing. “I’m glad I met you, Squeaks.” He repeated with an air of finality, either unaware or uncaring for the reaction it drew from me as he raised a hand to drag his thumb across my jaw.

I looked up into his eyes, unblinking. Aware that I’d never felt quite like anything this before.

“I’m glad I met you too.”

–

Metro News

Feb 2024 06:21

SETTLING DOWN? | ‘75 SINGER CAUGHT IN CLUB WITH SINGLE MUM

Last night it seems our local heartthrob was back out on the town again after a few weeks of silence, only this time he wasn't alone! Read more...

[HOMESCREEN] 07:59

Facetime now Finnleyyy Incoming Call

Messages 7m Adi x Babe wake up, shits going down over on twitter!! Also (very much related) did you shag Healy last night???

Twitter 11m You now have 378 notifications

TWITTER: ‘75 updates @/75updateacc The Band spotted out in London last night with the MouseOnAMic girls! *picture: a story from Adelinewells instagram//blurred group photo*

backofmyvan @/user1 Is this real?? *picture: blurred Matty and Mouse in a dark club* Funnyface @/user2 Is that the radio host? she has a kid?? Saidhello! @/user3 I woke up to chaos. On another note, how are my matty girlies doing today?

[todorokies]

what is a youth - suguru geto

contents: nsfw, nipple play, dry humping, fem!reader, reader cums from nipple simulation, japanese mythology/supernatural, religious themes, suguru is sooo inlove with the reader

a/n: like the nerd i am, i did some research to make this as accurate as possible (and added my own touches), … inspired by the song what is a youth by joanna wang

scorching summers in japan were infamously known for the season of yūrei. eerie unsettling tall-tales get told and passed down to different generations for the mere purpose of inciting fear or a sense of comfort to ease the erratic mind about the afterlife. that their loved ones’ life doesn’t necessarily end once the heart stops pumping blood, that they linger between purgatory and the real world, attempting to tie up loose ends and reassure the mourning family that they will visit again under the divine moonlight at the yearly obon festival.

some yūreis are cursed with misfortune, leading their demise to be tragic which prevents them at a peaceful crossover. allowing their blackened soul to harbour animosity and haunt their unofficial gravesite and those who dare to step a foot near. these types are called onryō.

onryō, funayūrei, zashiki-warashi; suguru believe it’s all a load of bullshit. he prides himself as a practical man, favouring facts over fiction, listening to his head and not his heart when difficult situations arises while still displaying sympathy for others.

he can’t help but wonder why people choose to believe in such things. why subject your own mind to horrors that don’t have a reliable source? it’s not as if those who’ve encountered a spirit are still present in society to tell the tale. nonetheless, suguru isn’t the type of man to argue about beliefs. he’s content with people picking and choosing what to believe in and who to follow as influences, so long nobody gets hurt in the process.

he doesn’t believe in angels, spirits, or someone higher up, however, when you come strolling in the shared living room with a frown so indented on your face he almost stood up faster than his feet could process to kiss your sorrows away. to melt at your feet and oblige to every command that utters from your soft pillowy lips like you’re a transcription of a newfound religion.

you started rambling about how your body is going through a phase where everything is heightened. —ovulation is what you called it, due to it, your boobs are much more tender and plum which is causing you discomfort.

“help me feel better?” sweetness coats your tone. that was that you had to say to make suguru swiftly settle you in his lap with big hands finding residence at the curve of your hips. he’s so infatuated that it’s almost sickening. with the way you shiver under his fox-like gaze desire impetuously bubbles in the pit of his stomach. suguru feels something sinister albeit soothing take over his usual laidback persona . . . you both had an itch that he’s willing to scratch.

“may i?” he gestures to your black laced tank top. even with such impure thoughts coursing throughout him, he stills finds the courtesy to ask permission to please you.

you nod eagerly which results in his hands to tug downwards at your tank top making your perky tits pop out. suguru nearly sobs at the mere sight, unabashedly ogling at your round breasts your nipples are already growing hard from the cool ventilation in the area. you slightly squirm from the unneeded staring.

“don’t hide yourself from me my love, they’re beautiful. you’re beautiful.” he uses his thumbs to create circular motions on your nipples then leans down to attach his hot mouth onto your hardened bud circling around it whilst occupying his free hand to massage your left tit. the fat spilling out of the crevices of his large hand, you can’t help but to throw your head back as a broken moan escapes your mouth. you’re already getting ruined and he has just begun.

his tongue flattens against you hollowing out his cheeks to loudly suck, suckling and wet slurping sounds evade the silent night along with heavy panting. his sharp teeth gently tugs at your nipple. he has completely lost himself within the burning clouds of lust as he watched you crumple against him angelically like withering rose petals.

are worshippers suppose to indulge in such lewd acts to please their gods? what values separate a sinner and a worshipper, how similar are their beliefs and what differentiates them?

a hiss abruptly rings through his ears, “too rough..” you whine weakly. your hips gain momentum as you rock yourself back and forth on his clothed crotch to ease the bone-aching throb between your legs, already feeling slick accumulate in your panties meantime, your hands nested snug against the nape of his neck.

“‘m sorry darling, jus’ got too carried away…” he slurred his words like an unfortunate drunk, pulling away from your swollen nipple with a thin string of saliva following along. using his thumb and forefingers he begins to softly pinch your bubs, twisting and turning them to get a needed reaction.

“does that feel good? too soft or too rough?” suguru doesn’t even pay attention to the words trembling out of his own mouth; too damn hypnotized by your fucked out expression as you now mindlessly grinding on him. your lips are chapped, chest heaving, hair disheveled, and moans exuding out of your throat like rapid-fire. you looked like a dream.

“y-yes it’s perfect! so damn perfect.” suguru swears that through his half lidded eyes he sees a glowing aura cascade around your body as if you were an entity. an elegant glow that lightly illuminates the dim living room.

has your entire existence consumed every corner of his mind to the point of seeing hallucinations? is he able to formulate a single thought without you being present in the back of his mind?

“oh m-my goddd! mmh shit, feels s’good…” your hips stutter while riding out your high desperately grasping to his shoulders for stability with your panties now drenched and sticky. you bow your head down to place your entire face in the cook of your boyfriend’s neck, visibly embarrassed of basically cumming untouched like a virgin.

a breathless chuckle falls flat in the air, “no need to feel embarrassed you did so well for me.” suguru doesn’t believe in angels, spirits, or a god higher up nor has he thought about life after death.

he hadn’t made a will yet, written an epitaph, he’s unsure of what kind of flowers he’d like at his own funeral but he swears to whomever that you were personally made for him. sculptured with such tenderness and precise movements under scrutiny to be perfectly gifted to him with a giant bow.

but what he is sure of, is that he would follow you to the afterlife and beyond without doubt. he could wait a century or three just to reunite with you.

he also swears, in that very moment, he had gotten possessed by the spirit of takahama and that you were his bewitching white butterfly; akiko.

reblogs & feedback is extremely appreciated !! <3 here is the referenced white butterfly folktale

[aestherin]

privacy

19: idea of luxury

NOTES contains: kissing, mentions of 'housewife' (lol this so random ToT), very very lightly suggestive??? (tbh idek what counts as suggestive anymore :"D)

It was cold inside, but your hands were sweating.

Was it from the tension? You don't know. Likely, but not certain. Nervousness? Another possibility.

But was the cause of it related to the lean blue-haired man currently making his way towards you?

Certainly.

"Are you gonna publish an interior magazine?" Ayato smirked. "You keep taking photos of my penthouse, [Name]."

You rolled your eyes. "No, but I'm capturing all I want because I may never get to see this again. This would make good inspo for my future home."

Standing right in front of where you were sitting on the couch, you hear him feign a sigh. 'Close,' you thought.

"Love, you can go to my penthouse anytime. I can even have a duplicate key made for you. You want that?"

"No."

Ayato raised a brow. "And here I thought you liked my home."

"Not enough to treat it as my own, apparently."

"Shame. I was about to ask you to be my housewife."

You immediately sat up, causing you to be closer to him. The light fabric of the shirt Ayato's wearing was mere centimeters away from you. "Oh? Does that interest you?"

Baffled from what he said prior, you opted to ignore the almost nonexistent distance between you and the body of the man you're currently looking up to. "Excuse me? Housewife?"

"Yes?"

"Why the fuck do you think I'd want to be your housewife?"

Truthfully, for a moment, you considered the possibility. You've never wanted to slap yourself so bad once certain images flashed in your mind: the two of you smiling sweetly at each other, you cooking meals for Ayato (because he can't cook to save a life) in this very same penthouse, and more scenarios of affectionate domestic activities. Not to mention that the scenes even had filters when you imagined them.

You despise your own mind sometimes.

Maybe you should write scripts, too.

"Oh? You don't?"

Why in the world are you having this kind of conversation with him as he's looking down at you and you're staring up at him?

This is... a little...

'Ayato's a fucking tease.'

"No. I don't."

Your boyfriend laughed heartily. "Are you sure, love? You know, tens — if not hundreds — of thousands of people would get on their knees to be my housewife." He started leaning down towards you. "Some people even use that as their social media handles."

You forced out the actress in you, only so that he cannot see the expression that you truly were about to show. Why was he this close?

Actually, why were you guys even taking this long conversing about this one topic?

A sassy facade. "Well, sorry to burst your bubble, mister, but I'm not them."

You noticed how his brows lightly shot up in realization, how his playful gaze turned into one of delight. It's astonishing, really. How he could easily switch.

He let out a deep breath. "You're right, love. You are not them."

Ayato leaned in even closer, settling his hands on the backrest behind you to support himself.

Earlier, it was his shirt that your face almost had contact with. But now...

It was his face.

His unfairly perfect face.

A genuine smile from the guy was all it took to break your pretense.

"You're my girlfriend, right, [Name]?"

It took a lot of willpower to go back to acting composed and unaffected after that certain display of his.

Seriously.

"Yeah. A fake one."

You could swear something changed in his eyes.

Ayato, however, made sure that you can't point it out — how his heart dropped, how the previously present glint in his irises disappeared, how his lips almost displayed a frown with a single statement of yours.

'Did you really have to say that?' he mused.

Fortunately, he was an expert at turning things around. He had a knack for harvesting pleasant outcomes from unfavorable situations.

Ayato was not about to let that one thing ruin his day.

"Ah," he stared back again. "Thank you for mentioning that, [Name]. I almost forgot."

You frowned. "That what? We're fake dating?"

His lips curve to a smirk.

And everytime he does that, you die.

"No. What we were supposed to be doing."

"Huh?"

The man sighed. "Dearest love, you can't have possibly forgotten that we're here to kiss."

"Fuck."

"Hehe."

"Do you want to get on with it now?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever. It's not like it's a big deal anyway."

Liar.

"I've done this plenty of times with my co-leads."

"Oh? I see." You fail to see how his gaze darkened, with how his face was positioned near your ears. "I'm expecting you to be a good kisser then," he whispered.

You braced yourself.

The two of you stared at each other for seconds, with neither of you making a single move.

"When are you going for it?"

"Huh?"

"You're too slow, love. Is it taking you so long to muster up the courage to come and kiss me?"

"What do you mean?! I was waiting for you, you dumb fu—"

A peck on your forehead. Then your left cheek, then the right. Another on your nose. The next one on your chin.

The last one being on the corners of your lips.

'Is he playing with me?!'

He pulled away, grinning like a complete fool. "Ayato!"

"What?" He played innocent.

"Please. Let's just get this over with," you plead.

His gaze remained still on you. In Ayato's eyes, you looked absolutely divine. You with your furrowed brows, pleading eyes, and pouty lips... How could he ever refuse you?

How could he ever resist?

"As the lady wishes."

This time, he was heading for your lips.

But he stopped halfway.

"Motherfu—"

There it was.

His lips tasted like cherries — they felt like them, too.

One...

Two...

Three...

He pulled away by then, with you not being able to get your fill.

It was utterly embarrassing, how your head somewhat chased after his when he distanced himself. Luckily, you were able to control yourself and stopped before he even opened his eyes.

And when they found their way back to yours, his lavender eyes were hazy. Dark and lidded, certainly different from the bright and mischievous ones from just minutes ago.

You were sure you weren't in a better condition either.

The breaths you make are heavy, and so are your eyelids. And your mind?

Blank.

You opened your mouth first. "Ayato, I..."

"Sshh." He placed a finger against your lips. "We're not quite done yet, love. Don't you think so?"

'I can't fucking think.'

You mumbled incoherently at him, confused.

"I believe that first kiss we made... it's not that convincing yet, no?" He breathed.

Ayato made your foreheads touch. "Unless, you don't share the same opinion as mine? If that's the case, then we can stop here, and..." A sigh. "call it a day."

You took a deep breath.

The usual curve of his lips returned as your hands reached around his nape.

"No. I find it unconvincing as well."

privacy — ayato x reader smau

prev. masterlist. next.

NOTES -> not a cliffhanger this time (i think) so that u guys can sleep in peace😌 -> i cannot believe i wrote this (wrote late at night before i slept and i swear my face is heating up) -> my brain is not functioning anymore after writing this -> was listening to 'collide' while writing 👀

TAGLIST I (closed) @catsrkool @sukunasrealgf @redactedhimbo @layla240 @mxlkytea13 @itsactuallylina @milza12 @aixaingela @tatiratty @kimiesstuff @laventiseriou @kunihaver @bibisbestgirl @lunaavity @coquettemaiden @opchara @slvdsjjk @cotton-eee @lady-elodie @dearxiiao @wheneverthesunrise @heartswonder @chuduchok @headphonesrlif3 @lleoll @vnderthesunn @lizzardlady1234 @nekogakuro @rifran @atlatcaheart @ani-st @creammpuff @lunastarjay @kittycasie @poisoned-candy-apples @zannivrs @b0bafl0wer @moonlightaangel @elsoleil

[meguminne]

a harbinger’s love , ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

their immense loyalty and love are second to none for the tsaritsa, including his. how unfortunate, ( for you. ) pantalone x reader presented by meguminne. [june 29, 2023]

loving a harbinger has never been easy, nor has anyone claimed it to be that. you know about their underhanded tactics and unshakable resolve to serve the tsaritsa, but there was something — or rather someone — that drew you closer towards the fatui.

it wasn’t his incredibly dashing good looks ( though you can argue it was a contributing factor ) nor his outstanding wealth that you think could rival the qixing’s, but it was his gentlest of smile and touch directed towards you, and only you.

what makes you special? you wonder.

he has an ulterior motive, he can’t possibly have one when you’re just you.

he sees some use out of you, that can’t be practical since you’re an average civilian.

you must remind him of someone else, you can’t prove that thought right or wrong. truth be told, despite the countless of hours and minutes you’ve spent with this man, you could never understand nor even grasp what’s brewing in his mind. you barely know him but you feel like he’s everything to you.

“darling?” gloved hands reach out to touch your hand, the rich snezhnayan fabric did little to muffle his frigid touch. as someone who's so warm towards you, you do find him rather cold; even in warmer climates. as though he was still distant despite how he acts. — “are you alright?” his voice is like honey, sweet and far too alluring to even consider the fact he was being deceitful with his worry.

“i’m fine, my love.” you smile in return, holding onto his hand, interlocking your fingers together with his.

“do not be like that, i can tell something’s bothering you.” he laughs in return; squeezing your hand softly and the sting of the cold metals around his fingers slightly burn your skin.

‘is there a reason why you love me?’ you let those words die on your lips as letting them slip might just ruin everything, destroy the illusion of a perfect life he has built for you. — you’re only ruining it with your constant worrying, why not just accept it as it is and not think about it?

no, no, you cannot just accept it! it has been two years and seven months since he first proclaimed his love for you after visiting your humble shop again and again, it has been a year and six months since you moved into his luxurious mansion and it has been only seven months since the world came to know you as the regrator’s wife. — and despite all the time that has passed, you still haven’t figured out why on earth he’s so in-love with you! there must be a reason, it cannot be chalked up to mere love at first sight.

you were swept away by his allure, his handsome face; his elegant disposition and the way he treats you and you were drunken with his love yet whenever you sober up, you can’t help but wonder. a torturous cycle of highs and lows! you can’t help but think you will be used as a sacrificial pawn in this game of chess the fatui is playing with the rest of the world!

“the fair lady’s death has me a bit shaken up,” you lie through your teeth; as someone who is married to one of the fatui’s higher-up’s, you’ve grown fluent in deceit as well. “that traveler proves to be a threat towards your goal.”

“our goal,” he says softly. “but you are correct, i must admit that that outlander’s meddling has thwarted our original plans but fear not, signora’s death was a necessary sacrifice towards teyvat’s better future.”

you nod, “of course. i have no doubt that the fatui will turn out to be victorious, not a single shadow of doubt. i am simply worried for your wellbeing, please be careful my love.” — despite what it seems, you truly do care about his wellbeing, for even though you doubt his intentions with loving you is pure, you can admit that you have fallen for the harbinger.

the regrator chuckles, amused at your concern, as he leans in to press a soft chaste kiss by the corner of your lips, “you worry enough for the both of us, fear not. i’ll be alright, i have a wife to return to, after all.”

it does little to ease your worries, his smile was stasis on his face and you can’t tell what he was planning or even thinking but the reflection of your figure in his lenses makes you think that it involved you.

[adachimoe]

Adachi's imaginary dick waving contest with Namatame

This is a revised version of a post I wrote very during the infancy of this blog. It is being split into smaller posts.

...I didn't intend to leave the name "Adachi's imaginary dick waving contest" but it was my one sentence draft and it stuck.

On a previous post, I talked about Adachi being the figure who shows up in the fog in the Central Shopping District on the dungeon deadlines, and how the dates he appears compared to when the first threatening letter shows up at the Dojima house would indicate that his claim about "watching an epic game of cat and mouse between the Investigation Team and Namatame" was bullshit. Chronologically impossible bullshit.

I propose that, instead of this, he was actually trying to screw over Namatame and ruin that dude's life.

Adachi's behaviors before the reveal

Aside from how Adachi is presented as not being wholly truthful during the December 7th dialogue, I think it's also worth pointing out that something doesn't add up about his "cat and mouse" claim when you look at his other behaviors.

After Mitsuo is rescued and brought into police custody, Adachi will appear at the Dojima house and bring up the possibility that the killer is still out there. He even does this again when Naoto turns up.

If you know he's the actual culprit, this might make it seem like he's taunting the player. I have also read an interpretation that he says these things because he wants to be caught, which from my understanding is based on the psychology of real world serial killers.

But while people bring these lines up, they fail to notice how after Namatame comes into the picture, Naoto finds Namatame's journal, reads out that Mayumi and Saki's addresses are in Namatame's journal, and then Adachi says, "that settles it".

If Adachi wants to be caught, why is he saying, "That settles it" in response to his murder victims addresses being in Namatame's journal?

He's even shown taking Namatame's case so seriously that Dojima thinks it's out of character for him as Adachi has been consistently characterized as a slacker up until now:

Furthermore, Namatame's transfer was foreshadowed. And if you follow the scenes, he was transferred because of the IT. In fact, the IT even knew about the transfer, they just didn't realize it.

On December 3rd, after the IT become the Seekers of Truth, they go outside Namatame's hospital room and talk about everything he just said. The IT are starting to believe that Namatame didn't do it, and Adachi overhears their entire conversation.

The IT returns on December 4th to question Namatame, and on their way out, an officer reveals that they are preparing to transfer Namatame. We know from December 5th that it's Adachi who orders the transfer, and it comes up on December 4th, the day after Adachi overhears the IT talking about Namatame not actually being the murderer. Hmm. What a coincidence.

I don't think anything with how Adachi approaches Namatame's hospital stay suggests "Adachi was trying to get caught" or "Adachi was trying to facilitate a game of cat and mouse" or even that "Adachi was bored and doing a little silly". The "game" of cat and mouse would be over at this point -- even if Namatame gets freed, why the hell would he go back to abducting people into TVs? Especially now that other people are aware of his actions?

Asking the "why"

At this point, I think it's worthwhile to start ask a bunch of obnoxious questions.

We know that Adachi is the real murderer, we know he nudged Namatame to go kidnap people under the guise of "saving" them, we know he put Kubo into the TV himself, and we know he sent the threatening letters. But for what reason?

If he's merely trying to get away with murder, why would Adachi throw Mitsuo into a TV to begin with instead of just letting him take the fall? Why, in the scenes discussed in the last part, is he openly talking about it being someone other than Mitsuo? Again, we can infer from his response to Namatame's journal that he is not trying to get himself caught.

We know he claims that he's watching a game between Namatame and the Investigation Team to alleviate his boredom. But if that's so, then why does he send the threatening letters to the Dojima house at all? People in the fandom explain this as him trying to rile up the Investigation Team. If he's understood what's been going on since the start and he was merely trying to rile them up, why does he wait to do so until after Naoto's dungeon? Wouldn't the time to rile them up be after they bring in Kubo, when they think they've won and think the case is over...?

I have also seen people explain this as, "Adachi just wanted to see more dead bodies". If Adachi wanted to see a dead body so badly, why not go chuck someone else into a TV himself? The only person he was willing to do this to, beyond his first two murders, was Mitsuo. And only after Mitsuo turned himself in, claiming to be the murderer. Not even in the bad endings where the calendar skips to March 20th does Adachi throw another body into the TV.

Furthermore, why does Adachi only shut up about a "real murderer" being out there after Namatame is captured, and rush to get Namatame relocated after people start asking him questions and figuring out he might not actually be the murderer?

Adachi claims to be bored, did it cause he could, watching a game unfold between Namatame and the IT. But doesn't Adachi's amusement go away if Namatame is jailed or dies and quits "saving" people?

Adachi's timeline leading up to December 5th, and how "Fuck Namatame" explains a lot of his actions

I think assuming that Adachi is being driven by a Namatame Hate Boner of sorts fills in a lot of the gaps and why he does and says certain things.

At the start, it's the part that's straightforward: Adachi kills Mayumi and Saki, takes Namatame's phone call, and recommends he "save" people.

Adachi says on April 17th that he knows people show up on fog nights. He then shows up on the April dungeon deadline expecting a body because he had told Namatame to go put a person in a TV. There is no body, and he goes "..." in the fog. Maybe Namatame got cold feet? Repeat for Kanji. There's no dead body. In the fog, Adachi asks, "Again?"

The police find Morooka's body. After two fog nights where no body appeared, Adachi thinks Namatame has finally killed someone. But Kubo turns himself in. This is not who Adachi wants to get arrested for the murders, so he gets rid of Kubo by throwing him into a TV.

The Investigation Team rescue Kubo and show Adachi that someone can be rescued from the TV. Chie makes a point of saying Adachi was there when they handed over Kubo, so Adachi both knows that Kubo is out of the TV, and that the IT might be related.

After Kubo is rescued, the police are going through with the investigation, but Adachi says, "Gee it sure would suck IF THE REAL KILLER WAS STILL OUT THERE..." because the guy he wants to get arrested, didn't get arrested.

Then Naoto goes missing. When Naoto returns, Adachi once more brings up the "real murderer" thing again when he's at the Dojima house. As Kubo's investigation carries on, it starts becoming obvious to the police that Kubo only killed Morooka, which Adachi also brings up during this convo.

On Naoto's deadline, Adachi appears in the shopping district at night. This time he says, "Dammit. Again?!" Last time, the IT showed him that a person *can* come out of the TV. Hmm... Kubo came out of the TV, and there's no body again this time... Is it possible that... Bodies have been going in... But coming out... This whole time...? :mind_blown_emoji:

The next fog night is coming up on November 20th. Adachi wants Namatame to produce a body, and he has guessed the IT are why he has failed to produce one yet. Adachi sends the threatening letters to the protagonist on October 20th and November 5th, hoping it will make you back off so Namatame can finally kill someone.

I imagine his game plan from April to November was to somehow get Namatame to kill someone, then get him arrested from this; perhaps a situation he thought he'd be able to manipulate on the police side if he knew who did it.

Later on November 5th, the Investigation Team all gather in the interrogation room and, in front of Adachi, explain that Namatame must have been abducting all of them with his delivery truck.

Naoto reads Namatame's diary which fortunately had both Mayumi and Saki's addresses in it. At this point, Adachi must think he's in the clear, and he goes, "That settles it". Everyone thinks Namatame did it and it's looking like he'll take the fall for Adachi's murders because of the addresses in the notebook.

At this point, I think Adachi began trying to get Namatame convicted for the murders of Mayumi and Saki. The notebook was a huge boon.

On November 21st, Adachi tells the IT that they can visit Nanako at the hospital. But before he leaves, he also tells them that they've been looking into Namatame, and he says, hey guess what? Namatame had been hitting on Saki. We know later that Namatame didn't actually do that, but Adachi is trying to keep up the narrative about Namatame.

On December 3rd, Adachi tells the IT he isn't sure if the charges against Namatame will stick, once again trying to keep up the narrative. When you think about it, even if Namatame were to die that night, it'd be assumed that he is the Inaba Serial Killer, and the truth about Adachi would never come to light. It almost works, even, but the protagonist gets everyone to calm down. Later on December 3rd, Adachi overhears the IT outside of Namatame's room and realizes they're starting to figure it out.

On December 4th, after the IT finish talking to Namatame, a uniformed police officer enters the room, tells them to get out, and says that Namatame is being prepared for transport. Meaning after realizing that the IT are still investigating after overhearing them on the 3rd, Adachi quickly organized Namatame's transfer before they can ask him more questions and figure something out.

And lastly, in the bad endings, where time skips from December to March, no more bodies have appeared because either Namatame is dead or on trial with people assuming he murdered Mayumi and Saki. If another dead body shows up, then it will call into question if Namatame is really the murderer.

But why Namatame?

Tbqh I think he was just jealous of Namatame's rizz.

Mayumi's death is portrayed as an accident. Adachi knew he could touch a TV, but he had no idea a whole body could go in, and threw up when he saw her corpse. Saki's death was 100% him being a power tripping asshole, having learned what happens with Mayumi. And both of these women, his victims, had someone in common: Namatame.

While this is not shown directly in the game, we can infer from context that Adachi saw Mayumi on the Midnight Channel at some point. And we know from Namatame's flashback that Mayumi did appear on there. What's more is that the rumor about the Midnight Channel was that you see your soulmate.

It seems likely that Adachi, new to Inaba and depressed / lonely / sad boi mode after being transferred, heard about the Midnight Channel (probably from Izanami), watched it, and saw Mayumi. What he didn't know was that everyone saw Mayumi - she was on people's minds because of her scandal. But he got something of a teenage girl hyperfixation on this real woman, thinking it was meant to be. And when he gets a chance to meet her, he does not react well to her and Namatame actually being an item.

Then, he goes after Saki, but he only targets her because of Namatame. He's shown in a flashback trying to force himself on her while mentioning that he saw her this afternoon with Namatame. She stands her ground and slaps him away, and he makes a face while saying that being with him is no-good but being Namatame is fine, huh?

Finally, Namatame himself calls the police and says he saw Mayumi and Saki on the Midnight Channel, they both turned up dead, and now he sees another girl.

I think Adachi's real game began here with this phone call. He's the real killer and he knows that people in the TV die and turn up on foggy nights. By telling Namatame to put them "somewhere safe", he is trying to get Namatame to accidentally kill someone.

And it's not just the Mayumi and Saki stuff. I think there are a couple other reasons why Adachi might be bitter about Namatame...

First, magic powers. What's unclear about the phone call scene is if Namatame told Adachi about Magic TV Powers. Namatame knew he could touch the TV because he did it when he saw Mayumi on the Midnight Channel. The game seems to have left this intentionally vague since the phone call only begins after Namatame has already explained everything to Adachi, but I think Namatame did say something about it. Adachi knew at the time that a whole body could go inside, and something about what Namatame said might have prompted Adachi to suggest Namatame put people where no one can find them.

Why does this matter? Well, Adachi seems to like his Special Power. How do you think he felt when he found out that he isn't very special, and that it sounds like Namatame can do the same thing?

The next one is related to something I wrote the other day about how Adachi's views towards having a government job might a product of the economic clusterfuck of 1990s Japan. Further down in the post, I went into each of the Investigation Team members, and how Chie is probably the only person who would be able to relate to Adachi in any form. Everyone else is either already famous, or, if their careers fail, they have their families to back them up.

But this doesn't just apply to the Investigation Team. Namatame is a government employee who loses his job due to the scandal... And yet he's still chuggin' along. He moves back home, and he gets a job working under his parents as a delivery driver. Adachi, to our knowledge, doesn't have something to fall back on or inherit from his parents if he loses this job. (I think this is implied by how his parents hounded him to study and sent him to college prep.) Not only did Namatame take his soulmate, but this fucker wasn't even completely ruined.

You can see his actions as like... He's trying to get Namatame to kill someone, he's trying to get Namatame framed for his own murders, he's trying to get the Investigation Team to kill Namatame. Adachi doesn't talk about Namatame much, honestly, but wowie I get the feeling that he really fucking hates this guy. Adachi is just so, so hilariously pathetic here. Like he thinks Namatame cucked him, so he's simultaneously comparing himself with Namatame and trying to ruin his life. Jesus dude.

tl;dr

I think Adachi has a raging hate boner for Namatame, spawning from him being Mayumi's boyfriend and his assumption that Saki was with Namatame

Namatame also having TV powers and Namatame being able to fall back on his parents probably added to the fuel

A lot of Adachi's actions seem to form a coherent timeline if you assume he was trying to get Namatame to kill someone at first, then later tries to get Namatame convicted for his own crimes after the diary is found

[xiaosonlybeloved]

Forever Together~ Kaeya

featuring:- Kaeya tags:-fluff, a teeny bit of angst if you squint, semi-modern au(?), soulmate au where you get a golden band on your 18th birthday which changes into a silver bracelet like thingy when you properly meet your soulmate, kaeya calls you princess once a/n:- this is my entry for the summer santa event by @solarisfortuneia , thanks for letting me take part and sorry for being so late! this one is dedicated to @satoruxx i hope both you and mika like this :)

word count:- 1.3k

masterlist

You grow more excited as the clock nears midnight. “Only five more minutes, Kaeya!” You exclaim, tugging his hand and pointing at the clock. Your childhood best friend shakes his head, amused at your unusual excitement. “You’re really that excited just for your soulmate band? How funny. I mean, you’ve always been a soft romantic, so I’m not really surprised.” He chuckled, the sound filling your room. Both of you glance towards the golden band already present on Kaeya’s wrist, showing that he hadn’t met his soulmate yet. It had appeared, as it always does for everyone, on his 18th birthday. 

None of you said it, none of you knew the other was thinking the same thing. But both of you wondered, if… If you two could possibly be each other’s soulmates.

Both of you had harboured feelings for each other since you were children. It was cute at first. But then as time passed, as you two started to notice each other more, grow up side by side, saw all sides of each other, that harmless puppy love started growing into ‘small’ crushes, even as you two were content to remain best friends. Best friends who were practically attached at the hip, frequently did sleepovers and study sessions, hung out a lot, and always took advantage of the couples discount system. Deep down, both of you wondered if you could ever be more.

The chance of Kaeya being your soulmate was a one in a thousand. So, what harm did it do to imagine the what-ifs of a nearly impossible situation, you both thought, allowing your minds to wander.

The thought of being Kaeya’s soulmate excited you. But it scared Kaeya. 

It wouldn’t be easy to love you officially. It’s not because he couldn’t or didn’t want to. He had no idea what the future would bring, but for now, he really did love you, the way you did. But he was terrified what a relationship would bring, not just to you, but to any possible partner of his, which is why he wanted to avoid meeting his soulmate. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to maintain a relationship with his ways. And he was scared of his past.

Kaeya and his dad had fled from their home nation, Khaenriah, when it was on the brink of utter ruin because of the wars that had ravaged the world. Fled to Mondstadt, a stable country with abundant beauty, one that had already risen up after the war. There, his father had disappeared, leaving him with a caring adoptive family. 

It had been hard for him to adjust and adapt to this new life, especially since he had just been a mere child when all this happened. And he wouldn’t have been able to, if not for you.

You were his neighbour- still are, in fact. He remembered when he’d timidly ventured out into the gardens of his new house a few days after his life had been uprooted. You had noticed him wandering alone very quickly from your own garden, tugging at your mom’s hand to point at him. He’d been scared then, but then you ran ever to him, eyes sparkling, asking him if he was new here, and if he wanted to play with them, adding that their family were very good friends with his new family.

That was the beginning of their friendship, the one that had led them here, staring at the clock at night, waiting for it to strike twelve. And Kaeya was scared, scared because he’d heard many rumours of whatever remained of the Khaenri’ans searching. Searching for what, he didn’t know. Maybe it wasn’t even real. 

But he was still afraid of the possibilities.

And yet, a part of him wished to love you freely, without fear, be with you, be your soulmate. 

The internal conflict was tearing him apart.

The clock struck twelve, signifying the start of your birthday.

You grinned excitedly, holding up your hand, on which a golden band had materialised. But then both your eyes widened, as it turned silver, before reshaping into a swirling silver pattern, almost like a bracelet, with a half heart in the middle. 

The same happened to Kaeya’s band, the formerly gold band having changed into a silver bracelet, same as yours, with the other half of the heart.

It was confirmed- you two were soulmates.

You two stared at each other, eyes wide and confused. It was silent in the room for a while, as you two let the fact sink in.

I suppose it was to be expected, after all, you two had stuck with each other from the moment you met.

A part of you was incredibly happy, now that you didn’t have to hide your feelings any more. However, another part of you was worried for Kaeya and how he’d take this. I mean, what sort of best friends- soulmates- would you two be, if you didn’t know each others’ deepest fears? You knew what he was afraid of. And you didn’t blame him for it in any way whatsoever.

You were the first to speak up, gently taking both his hands in yours. Something you had done a thousand times before, and yet, it felt different this time. “You alright, Kaeya?”

He slowly nodded, eyes staring off. You understood his internal turmoil and the fact that he’d need time, and didn’t press him. “Do you need space?” you asked softly. “To process this? I don’t mind if you do.” Finally he looked at you. There were a multitude of emotions swirling in those beautiful periwinkle eyes of his- confusion, surprise, shock, fear, and more, as they met yours. “You won’t be upset?” He asked quietly. You shook your head almost immediately. “No, Kae, I won’t. I understand why.” You said reassuringly, squeezing his hands with yours to reaffirm your statement. 

“I’ll see you later then..?Once I’ve sorted everything out?” “Sure, take as much time as you want, don’t rush, I’m always here for you, ‘kay? Now let me drop you off home.” You smiled at him.

The next evening, Kaeya texts you to meet him in your regular meeting spot- the swings in the park next to your houses. On text, he sounded like he’d made up his mind, causing you to be a bit nervous as you headed over, albeit a bit early.

You were just swinging gently, lost in your thoughts, when Kaeya walks up to you. He seems to be holding something behind his back, as you look at him curiously. “You alright now?” You question. “Yup.” he grinned back, that easygoing, charming smile that was reserved specifically for you back on his pretty face. “Got everything figured out now, and I have something for you too.” He smiles, bringing out the gift-wrapped package he had been holding behind his back. You chuckle, relieved, as you quickly open it. You stop short when you see what it is that he has given you.

“Forgot to say this, but happy birthday, [Y/N].” He said softly, bending down a bit to take the beautiful silver necklace that had your engraved to put it around your neck. “There.” he said, leaning back to admire you. “Now it matched with our bracelets.” He added, his words meaningful.

This was his way of giving you confirmation. “Let’s give this thing a try, huh? After all, if anything ever happens, I’ll be here to protect my beloved princess, won’t I?” He smirked at his successful attempt to make you flustered as he pulled you up from the swing, holding one of your hands gently in his.

[female-malice]

TrevorSpace markets itself as a safe space for LGBTQ+ young people to talk about their experiences with identity and peer/familial rejection, which sounds like a great idea. But browsing the website for merely a few minutes makes it abundantly clear what it actually is: an online dating service for children and people aged 13-24. No website or chat room of this nature should cater to minors, especially one that encourages them to talk to adults. Adults in their 20s regularly talk to teenagers about sexuality and gender transition on Trevorspace. Profiles specify whether the user is over or under 18, but there is no procedure to verify whether the user is answering truthfully. Not only is the website specifically for children and adults, but someone of any age can say that they are a minor and have inappropriate conversations with kids.

...

The kids who use this predatory dating service have threads and forums about how the website has “too many groomers and pedophiles,” yet the adults that they trust in their lives are telling them that it is a good source for social support. It is an identity crisis in a nutshell. The service is full of frantic posts from teenage girls freaking out over the fact that they are unsure of their sexual identity and how this is something that they need to figure out immediately. Since when is that considered appropriate? The most disturbing part is that a lot of these girls express that they are same-sex attracted. Instead of being told that there is nothing wrong with being gay and that they will figure this out eventually, The Trevor Project tells them that they are actually boys trapped in female bodies and minors need to be chemically castrated as soon as possible or there is a 40% chance that they will kill themselves. This overused statistic is a lie and The Trevor Project is facilitating the spread of this lie.

There are posts where girls say that they realized they were attracted to women and transitioned into boys in order to become straight. This is a new form of conversion therapy. Studies show that nearly 80% of these children will reach adulthood and realize that they are just gay, lesbian, or bisexual.

Trevorspace is a grooming nightmare come to life. It is a direct contribution to an impending health crisis in the gay community – an epidemic of detransitioned people whose lives have been ruined by this new form of teenage conversion therapy, which they were groomed into partaking in. Over the next decade, there is going to be a huge wave of detransitioners who realize that they were victims of conversion therapy and grooming. The wave has already started and is going to forever be a stain on our community that we look back on in horror. Given recent events in the UK and Mermaids, it is probably a smart idea to consider the possibility that a similar phenomenon is occurring across the pond.

Detransitioned people are usually shunned from the trans community and harassed by queer activists if they try to discuss their experience publicly. This is present in the Trevorspace forums. Kids who were permanently altered have made posts about feelings of regret. They are then chastised about how the detransitioner problem is a hoax and that recognizing their existence is considered hateful, invalidating, and harmful to the transgender community. If the transgender and queer community are so hung up on validation and accuse people of “denying their existence,” then why are they demanding that we deny the existence of gay people who were converted as kids and face medical/bodily harm for the rest of their lives? My community deserves better than that. Detrans people have a lot of important perspectives to contribute and they are welcome at our table any day.

(continue reading)

[beepiiboop]

Haunted by The Past

a chara exploration writing involving neakon! it goes into more detail abt negative thoughts he suffers from, as well as Very Very brief cyrin mention in this writing as he's connected to why neakon often suffers having such thoughts + responsible for something that happened between them

Neakon sits silently in his throne room, having some deep thoughts going on in his head. See, the thing about Neakon is he's a mysterious person, he's aware of that fact to the point he would overhear his citizens always commenting on that part about him, with one of the biggest comments being about his past. 

Neakon feels bad about keeping his past hidden away from the very people that mean dear to him. However, he struggles to learn how to open up about himself and because of what happened to him in the past, he keeps information about himself as vague as possible or avoids talking about it entirely.

Thoughts begin to grow negative within Neakon, the more and more pressure about his past haunting him. 

Some ruler you are. Do you think keeping everything about yourself a secret would do good for you? 

What kind of ‘’good person’’ you are if you just keep everything about yourself hidden away from others?

Neakon felt dread with these thoughts getting bigger with their negativity, he then responded in a strained, stressed tone of his voice. "You don't control me on what I do. You don't get to even indicate the type of person I am with these false assumptions... Can you leave me be for once!" The moment Neakon said that his thoughts began to battle against his words, showing all bite as a response. 

"False assumptions?" What false assumptions? The fact you're a pathetic, no-good person ruler? 

You're afraid that your dear, oh so, citizens would think differently about you once they get to know the real you? 

Quit hiding behind this "good person" facade of yours! You're just making things worse for yourself with this act. 

You're so stubborn on insisting to keep going with this facade any longer. It will ruin you. It will destroy you eventually bit by bit,  just like trusting that god who destroyed your life the moment he backstabbed you.

"ENOUGH," 

Neakon shouted frustratedly at his thoughts getting more negative they've become, with the trigger point being bringing up Cyrin, who Neakon had been friends with many years ago before something happened between them where Cyrin became the reason why Neakon was closed off from trusting people. 

The mere mention of him set Neakon off into anger. Horn-like, head branches started to grow out of Neakon as a response to his strong emotions, growing intensely wrapping around his horns. "DON'T EVEN DARE. I don't want to hear the utter mention of him ever again. It's his damn fault for everything he has done! HE’S the one that’s hiding far more, worse secrets about himself than me!" His emotions got more and more heightened with how strong they got, boiling so much anger in him. Neakon rests his hands on his face, emotions within him becoming so heavy as every minute of it his stress increases the heavier his emotions get.

Neakon tries to calm himself down. "Let's focus on the present now... The present is what truly matters to me. I will not let anything get in my way, the past, Cyrin even..." He said as he was trying to keep his stress level down, head branches faded away unwrapping themselves out of his horns as soon as he felt like he had calmed down. "I can't let my people see me like this... I need to put myself together and just do what is right for me and them. Even if what I'm doing by keeping everything about myself hidden away from others may be looked down upon, it's better if they live in bliss without knowing."

Neakon got up out of his throne, walking towards the window to look outside of Plagiida and the citizens. He stares at the activities going on happening. 

"This world means so much to me, my people mean so much to me... I'll do everything I can to make sure it's all protected. As the ruler of this world, I will prevent any disastrous events from happening, keeping peace forever restored."  Neakon shows a slight smile on his face as he continues looking outside through the window... Oh wow? This is the first time Neakon has ever smiled in his life, given that he has a hard time being an expressive person. It truly shows how much he cares about this world and its people.

[badassbutterfly1987]

How ACIAG Should Have Ended

Since there's a big chance A Child is a Gift is a dead fic (unless the next book manages to rejuvenate my interest) I figured I should clarify certain behind the scenes stuff and what the final story was going to be. I feel kinda bad that it died just as the tension and mystery was ramping up.

So, proceed if you don't mind spoilers and are curious about what was going to happen next:

Backstory: Lord Raith had a sister Andrea, who had a son named Gideon. Since she had no interest in motherhood, she basically tossed him to LR's care. Gideon grew up and was increasingly not suited for the White Court, especially as a budding practitioner. He decided to run away to a distant small village, fell in love, and had a son. LR responded in his typical manner: the wife was killed and Gideon + baby son were dragged back, son held as hostage to make Gideon behave. That worked for a few years until the son died of a presumed childhood illness; Gideon blamed LR and the fallout was so explosive that the Keepers mutually agreed that what happened would be buried. All the later generations knew was a sort of We Don't Talk About Bruno situation, there was a problem child named Gideon of an unknown house who broke WC rules and was now used as a warning to behave.

But because of incompetence/bad luck/LR's hesitance to kill one of his own kids for the first time, Gideon didn't die and went into hiding. Over the next 1500 years Gideon occasionally popped up to cause problems between periods of trying to settle down and find happiness but couldn't with the memory of the life LR had ruined. Then one day he noticed the sudden decrease in a handful of living sons of various quality to just one living boy, and the gears start turning. The he hears about that last son Thomas being kicked out of the court for an attempted coup only to be welcomed back into the family for good behavior a mere five years later, strange for Lord Raith to kill most of his male relatives only to be lenient with this one. So he has Serafina, a Malvora practitioner he's taken under his wing, to keep an eye on Thomas. And what do you know, Thomas and his thrall girlfriend are taking care of a toddler together, isn't that interesting?

So he makes contact under the false name Jameson, relying on the fact that the WC have purposefully forgotten him, and presents himself as an ally outside the court. Does Thomas want a similar outcast to bond with? Does he want to be tutored in magic? Maybe taught how to create a healing bracelet for his sick girlfriend? Jameson can do that!

Then begins the next phase of the 1500+ year long chess game. He's prepared to either manipulate Thomas onto his side if possible, gather any info on what's going on with LR, and if the magic transference bracelet happens to help Justine while also weakening Thomas' Hunger, well he can use that if he has to. Thomas knows none of this backstory but is reasonably wary of Jameson, continuing the contact partly to keep an eye on this potential threat to Lara. LR has caught on to some of the oddities of how Thomas has been behaving (because Natalia has been reporting back) and is sure Gideon's involved, but because Thomas isn't being open about it even when pressed, has decided to let it play out with Thomas as the unknowing pawn.

And that's the recap! Now for what was going to happen...

Keeper visit: Galatea and Blair stop by and the conversation is rather messy because Galatea and Lord Raith immediately get in a personal argument (if you've read Cras es Noster, you can guess how intense it can get). They have a proper talk behind closed doors that the others are left out of; they agree that Gideon needs to be dealt with and come to an interesting conclusion.

My memory's a bit fuzzy around this part but things escalate pretty quickly: Thomas, Natalia, and Theo are away from the estate and Gideon (and maybe Serafina, more on that later); Thomas is taken out of the fight early because his Hunger has been slowly weakened by the magic bracelet; Natalia tries to fight him but Gideon is a powerful and experienced practitioner, so she dies :( Thomas and Theo are kidnapped by Gideon.

This is where the backstory lore dump would be. Thomas' reaction would basically be "I get why you want Lord Raith dead and I don't even disagree with you, but you killed my sister and kidnapped my child. you don't get to do that and call yourself the hero." While Gideon is real mad that Thomas is seemingly allowed to have a wife and child while Lord Raith denied him both. (I am so sad I never got to this conversation, Thomas and Gideon make for fascinating foils). Basically Gideon wants Thomas to help him kill LR and is not above using a child as blackmail to force his hand (no, he does not recognize the irony of repeating LR's actions with his son). He may or may not magically mess with Thomas' head to 'encourage' an assassination attempt. He promises to return Theo once Lord Raith is dead.

Serafina, either because she just realized how in over her head she was or because she's been a double agent in contact with Lord Raith, calls in the rest of House Raith. So this is where it gets as convoluted as you would expect from a White Court political play. Thomas is released and sent back to the family; he may or may not try to murder LR here, I hadn't decided; there is a lot of talking and arguing on what to do because everyone has an opinion and I don't really remember all the perspectives and how it reached the result. Also debated whether or not to drag Harry in here.

End result: there is a rescue attempt in which they use LR as bait (he's weirdly okay with it), it goes a little wonky. Gideon is definitely dangerous but he's also rattled just by being near Lord Raith (they're all walking bundles of trauma) and he eventually dies. LR is badly injured and his Hunger is too starved to heal it; Thomas kills him (there would've been a lot going through his head at that point and LR might've been egging him on). Theo is rescued.

aftermath: LR's death was partly planned on Galatea's part; she knew he was bound to die soon enough and figured a death at Gideon's hands was a decent send off (even if Thomas did it, the public blame would be on the mad warlock). Yes she did kinda manipulate her nephew/adopted son into a suicide mission, that is messed up even if he agreed to it. So Gideon is dead, LR went out on a respectable enough note/his death was suitably avenged, Thomas and Theo are alive and make for an intact legacy (as well as room for future children), so overall a victory.

Lara's still mad about it since Galatea went over her head to arrange it and Thomas acted without her approval, she hadn't planned for LR to die quite yet even if she is ready to officially be Queen. While Thomas ends up in a weird mental space for a bit because he was being used as a catspaw by his father, great-aunt, and cousin; would end on a positive note with a hint that child #2 Shiloh was right around the corner.

[starcrossedjedis]

Lemme tell you more about my "Twin Suns"

Starting with the AU, which is named "Beyond the Horizon" for now (and that's been ruining my life in the best way for the past week or so 👀)

In which Sun - going by her birth name Mira - and (an aged up by about four years) Shanks aren't ten years apart in age and actually grew up on the Oro Jackson together.

She's a spoiled sea princess and he loves to rile her up. Sometimes they hate each other, but most times they don't and nothing prepares the young pirate for the horror of Mira being abducted and missing for almost a year.

When she comes back she's changed - and it seems so have his feelings for her. There is little more terrifying than the realisation that he's fallen head over heals in love with the apple of his captain's eye.

Mira's always had a bit of a crush on the red haired boy with the charming smile and when she realises that her feelings might not be as one sided as she previously thought - and that he has no intention to act on it anytime soon, or ever - she finds increasingly more infuriating ways to try and make him break.

But then Gol D Roger is captured and executed and first loves and stubborn pride are the very least of Mira's concerns.

Suddenly she has a permanent target on her back, both as Roger's only (known) living heir and as a possible lead on the One Piece.

Suddenly Mira feels like she can't trust anyone. Not even the boy she's loved for most of her life...

~*~

And of course there's still the OG, still going strong by the title of "Bring me the Horizon" ❤️

In which Sun isn't sure about anything in her life - not even her own name. It's merely the thing that first came to mind when she came to in the middle of the East Blue when she was fourteen.

The only constants she's ever known in her life were Windmill Village - safe, idyllic and almost infuriatingly boring - and the pirate named Shanks, whose face had been the first thing she'd seen that day at sea. Shanks with the soft smile. Shanks who always brought her little trinkets when he visited. Shanks who somehow found out why she felt so different, why the ocean hated her, when she loved it so much. Her Shanks. Her first memory, forever imprinted in her mind and in her heart.

Sun, now seventeen years old didn't know much, but she knew that she was in love with the red haired pirate.

But then, on his last visit to the village Shanks tells her that he's going after the One Piece - and this time he is not coming back. She begs him to take her with him, but he is adamant she keep both her feet on dry land, breaking her heart with his rejection.

Now, ten years later, Sun has no idea why she would run into Shank’s little shadow Monkey D Luffy and his ragtag group of “not a crew” in Shells Town of all places.

But she is tired of making nice with Marines for a living and she knows an opportunity when one presents itself…

And that is them - one OC, two stories, one very undecided author looking for y'alls feedback xD

tagging my OPLA besties, because I feel extra desperate in this Chili's tonight: @auxiliarydetective @bravelittleflower @drbobbimorse @harleyquinnzelz @jamezvaldes @kingsmakers @mystic-scripture @susiesamurai

[invested-in-your-future]

My two cents, but the lack of Ruby's thoughts and anger on Emerald and Mercury, the White Fang, and Adam, the man who ruined her dear sister's life which indirectly deteriorated their relationship, is really disappointing. Same with Raven.

(yet again IDK if show or fic so I'll answer both)

Within the show yeah it's a bigger issue with how non-reactive Ruby is overall - there are many instances where Ruby is within a scene where she has narrative reasons to react, but the writing doesn't allow her to. We don't have much on her thoughts beyond her being "vaguely distressed", which is a mistake.

Within the rewrite though, for me, Ruby is the type of person to fixate on specific aspects of her trauma - few at the time - to get "stuck" on a specific thought, specific regret - and replay it repeatedly in her mind.

She's on a journey to honor a fallen friend, surrounded by teammates of said friend, so thoughts of what happened to Pyrrha and Penny are "closer" for now - and so is Cinder. And Ruby hasn't even really dealt with Penny's fate yet.

She's holding onto the idea that she could possibly track Cinder down and that's what has kept her going - she's "keeping herself busy".

I don't think she even fully processed the scope of what had happened at this point and doesn't allow herself to - her mind has been going in loops dealing with deaths she had witnessed firsthand.

She's struggling to accept what happened to Pyrrha and what transpired with Roman, and that kind of information and emotion overload "bottlenecks" the rest. Only with events in Nemea - meeting Pyrrha's mother and everything else - does she let Pyrrha stop haunting her (although not completely).

Most of her thoughts jump back and forth between Pyrrha and Cinder till that point.

For example, she didn't really focus much on Neo until Neo actually became relevant. It took a confrontation for her to realize why Neo might be "a little bit" pissed with her.

That said, the one moment when she briefly lets herself spiral into her thoughts (before Nora stops her), she touches upon Emerald - so it is there. Not to mention - when something weird happens, her mind first jumps to the idea of someone creating illusions.

Emerald and Mercury will absolutely come up when the time is right. (I also didn't want to dilute the Pyrrha situation for now because making character's thoughts jump around too much can mess up the scene)

As for Raven and Adam - Ruby isn't really aware of the role they play - in her mind Raven is merely this vague image of a scary lady from her earliest memories and she doesn't even know she's involved now - she never got to see her in the present day, remember? Even on the train in V2, only Yang got to see her or connected the dots. And the only person Yang told about it was Qrow. I don't even think Ruby realizes how much Raven plagues Yang's thoughts.

Not to mention - Adam, I don't think anyone except for Yang and Blake even saw him there, and only Blake(and Yang, but only due to the context given and the situation they were in) could recognize him or know who did this to Yang.

Ruby also doesn't really have time to place blame onto others because she primarily blames herself for what happened to Yang - she wasn't there to prevent it, she wasn't there to help and she couldn't even comfort her after. For now, that takes priority in her mind.

She does have thoughts about White Fang, though. That will come up in due time.

[tetsunabouquet]

Basic Instinct Chapter 13

A/N: various categories of warnings should be present here, because this is going from steamy to angsty. Be prepared for Masaomi being a douche willing to ruin Akashi's life once more. Masterpost

It wasn't meant to be like this. Akashi had been alone in the Student Council room, preparing for the next meeting. You had showed up with toasted bread with ham and cheese from the cafeteria and something to drink, worried he'd forget himself once more. He had made a teasing comment about the splotch of ink on your uniform, you had responded with a flirty comment. He blamed teenage hormones, because he pushed you on his desk and he couldn't help but kiss you. You giggled against him, kissing him back in a way that felt playful yet passionate, like a fire that was slowly spreading with glee. He dug his fingers into your waist, pulling you closer against him. The two of you were so lost into one another, neither of you could hear the sounds of approaching footsteps. As you moaned against his lips, the door opened and the worst possible figure stood in the doorframe, the Headmaster. Both of you froze, as the man pointed, with the hand that was free of papers which contained the budget for the upcoming Culture Festival to his right. "Akashi, L/n, my office, NOW!"

Akashi went home, dread fillng his stomach. The Headmaster had called both his father and your mother. Both, were naturally furious. He felt sick. He was scared of what was going to happen to him, to your relationship and what kind of abuse your mother would put you through once you came home. He imagined you were returning home with your knees shaking just as hard as his own were and he felt guilty for kissing you. 'This is all my fault. It's all my fault." Akashi felt like he would either faint or have a heart attack from the fear coursing through his veins. He walked into his home, and found his father already waiting for him at the door, seething with anger. "Never, did I dare dream you'd disgrace the Akashi name in such a careless manner," his father's voice was ice and it chilled Akashi to the bone. "I knew this would happen when you started dating that common whore." "She's not a whore! I was the one to kiss her father, and it was foolish. I was caught up in the rush of my feelings for her, and I am sorry." "Those feelings you have for her are like a disease! First she gets you slacking your studies and skipping class, now she has you acting indecent in public! What's next, getting her pregnant before graduation?! I've had it with this relationship of yours, Seijuro." Akashi felt ashamed, angry and afraid. He felt shame, because his father had a point. He was angry, because his father had asked too much of him to begin with. And he was afraid, because he didn't like the direction this conversation was going. "She's not right for an Akashi, a girl of our status would have known better then to respond to such promiscuity. I was foolish to agree to letting you see her. You're breaking up with her, and I will beg the Niragi family to open the conversation about Tsukiko's hand in marriage once more, if they are graceful enough to talk with me after I had to shut down our conversations so unceremonously. I will also see to it, that you're homeschooled from now on. That girl and your friends at Rakuzan are only a bad influence. I will not have them taint the Akashi name, and neither will you!" "You cannot do that father! You cannot take away my life like that! I don't want to marry Tsukiko, I don't want to quit school! You cannot expect me to do as you say because I made a singular mistake!" Akashi felt his breathing getting out of control, he was starting to hyperventilate as his father's threats circled around his head, images of saying goodbye to his team, to you, racing through his head. He didn't wanted to do that. His father merely watched on with cold eyes, as Fujioka rushed to the scene, urging him to breathe properly. The last thought he had was that felt incredibly light-headed, as he fainted. Fujioka caught his body in time, before he could crash into the ground. "Masaomi, you cannot control him like a puppet, especially not when he's simply a lovestruck teenager!" "I can! He is my son, and I am tired of your constant threats. You might be hired by the Kaneshiro family, but I do not have to tolerate your presence in MY household. My mother-in-law be damned! That relationship is tarnishing the Akashi family name, and I said I would not have that." Wether Masaomi was truly serious about not fearing the infamous Rima Kaneshiro, or he was caught up in the moment of his anger, Fujioka could not say. But he did not want to risk it. He had to come up with a plan to save Seijuro. Because if you asked Fujioka, wether he was willing to protect the Akashi name at the cost of Seijuro's happiness, his answer was a simple one: No.