#the mixing of the music is shit . the way the songs enter is shit . the bg score is barely there

[motherfricker]

damn the new mean girls movie kinda sucks

[slut4jeon]

Everybody knows I’m a good girl, officer (jjk)

Officer!Jk x fem reader

Summary: Tiredly calling it a night after attending your workplaces celebration New Year's Eve party. You may have or not ran through a stop sign foolishly thinking no one would have been around to witness it…oh how wrong you were

Warnings: mature (18+), smut, degradation, unprotected sex, Voyeurism, don't read this if this does not interest you!! You have been warned!

I had this prepared early Jan but tumblr didn’t save my writing :(( so I gave up on it lmao. I also really wanted to write smth w tsx jungkook. The police trend w the Lana song gave me inspo for this although the actual trend isn’t in the fic.

-

You were calling it a night, exiting the noisy building that is your workplace. There was a currently a party in the building where your coworkers were celebrating the New Year's.

You were tired. The loud music and chatters annoying you. You chose a safer route tonight, sticking to sparkling cider since you were driving yourselves home tonight.

The cold air hitting your bare skin leaving goosebumps over your entire figure as youstep out into the windy area heading towardsyour parked car.

That's the consequence of wanting to look good and presentable for a celebration, you of course always look stunning. It doesn't hurt to get ready. You were currently sporting a black ysl mini along with a deep v neckline and a pair of matching black pumps. The shoes, also annoying by how sore they left your feet.

Black heels clicking onto the floor as you begin entering your car as you drove into the pitch black night. Admiring the way the twinkling city lights look, along with the lit up buildings and lampposts. You got a little too carried away when you were oblivious to the stop sign you foolishly didn't stop and passed by.

Regret lingered in your chest as you panicked over your foolish action. Perhaps you'd be fine as it is the late night and no cars were present, oh how wrong you were.

The sound of a police siren began ringing as the bright red and blue lights gaining up on the tail of your car. You pulled onto the side of the road swiftly and put your car in park. Your trembly hands gripping both hands onto the steering wheels most definitely leaving your palms and knuckles white. That's when you heard 3 knocks on your left side window.

"Shit" you muttered. Feeling a rise of mixed movement in your lower belly as you begin lowering your window. There you met the gaze of a handsome officer.

"Driving late on New Years Day? When everybody's drinking and celebrating tonight. License and registration." He spewed with a hint of sarcasm.

"Yes, of course." Your hand quickly traveled to your glove compartment pulling out the documents. Then, pulled your license from your clutch.

As he inspected you couldn't help but gaze at him. His raven black sleek parted hair showing off a bit of forehead. His black button up dress shirt that was tucked in the matching black jeans, and rolled up from the sleeves stopping before the elbows to show off his meaty arms that were covered in artworks of tattoos.

The stern look he holds as looking at your documents. The burrowed brow and line wrinkles in between the brows. He was attractive, godly attractive.

"Step out the vehicle for me" he said. You did as told

You couldn't help but gaze at him. He was an attractive specimen. But soon you were ripped out of your thoughts.

"Walk along that yellow line"

"Officer I'm not drunk or anything of the sor-" you were interrupted

"You were given instructions. I expect you to follow them." he bluntly said

Obeying his words you stepped foot onto the yellow line. The cold air doing you no justice as you were trembling from it.

What you weren't aware of was how he stared at your ass that was threatening to spill out of the little piece of flimsy material you call a dress.

Turning around, his gaze caught you off guard at how he stared at you as a helpless little fawn about to be hunt down by a hungry wolf.

"I'm gonna pat you down. Step right by the car for me, palms flat onto the vehicle", he demanded.

Swiftly obeying, you got into position. Beginning his pat down inspection from head to toe. His muscular hands roamed over your body. You wondered whether your goosebumps was from the cold wind or his slithering fingers tracing over your open skin.

As he got lower and lower, padding the waist and soon hips he made sure to grope onto your flesh just in case of any dangerous possessions.

You were a whimpering mess, biting into your bottom lip to suppress any noise coming out of your mouth. The attractive officer had an effect on you. Especially when passing your thighs and ankles, rising back to the top his movement slowed as he reached back to your thighs.

You let out suppressed mewls as his fingers inched towards your inner thighs. Your legs were gonna give up at any threatening moment. You questioned whether he caught onto your reaction to his touch.

His fingers were dangerous close to your soaking cunt. You were took aback at his touch you could not longer suppress the noises that urged to come pass your lips. Your heat was aching for his touch.

He took notice to your glistening folds in with your juices threatening to spill out of your wine red lace panties. The officer could no longer resist the temptation of the sweet treat in front of him.

Riding your dress a bit up his face inched closer to your cunt, nose and all. Hooking his fingers onto your panties and pushing them aside, he ate you out from behind. Your knees about to give in as he ate your pussy like a starved man. His tongue lapped over your clit playing with the cute bud left you a whiny mess.

"Please” you voiced out quietly

How cute, the officer thought. His fingers lathered your juices, leaving them coated and dripping. The sudden intrusion of his long fingers intruding into the tight ring of your hole.

With your mouth agape, your mind was left into a frenzy at how good the officer worked his fingers into your soaking cunt.

"Clenching onto my fingers, aren't you a little eager thing?", he said

You looked back to him to see his pretty pouty lips all swollen and tinted from eating you out. Your juices trailing down his chin and neck. He looked too edible.

He sensed you were near as your gummy walls clamped onto his fingers. Quickly pulling them out and robbing you of your release you mewled at the empty feeling.

You were a minx he thought. His cock hardening and imprinting his jeans. The feeling got only tighter as his fingers savored the taste of your pussy juices that coated his index and middle.

He needed more. Turning your body swiftly around the officer face to face with you connected both mouths together. His hands sneaked onto your hips and lower onto your ass making sure to grip the plumpy flesh.

You couldn't help out moan into his mouth as you both were in ecstasy. You needed more.

"Need to fuck that pussy, will you let me pretty thing?", who were you to deny him?

Eagerly nodding your head in confirmation. "Words, pretty", the officer said

"Please fuck me", you said in a desperate manner. That's all it took for him to roughly turn you around and begin grinding his hard length into your ass.

Desperate for friction you pushed out for him, like a bitch in heat. Your dress being a nuisance for him he unzipped you, freeing your bare body to be in display of his hungry eyes.

You wore no bra as the dress had padding, all you were left in was your wine lace panties. His lips traveled from your neck to breasts. Scattering marks as if he were leaving burns.

The way his teeth clamped onto your bud, sucking and pulling. Something about the way you were fully bare at his mercy as he remained fully clothed while he played with your pussy had you rubbing your thighs together.

"Officer please, fuck me!", you could no longer take it.

He smirked at your eagerness. Finding it humorously cute at how much of a cock hungry whore you are.

Your ears perked at the noise of him fumbling with his belt. His cock sprung free fully erect as he began aligning it to your entrance.

"O-oh! Fuck.., officer!", you blabbered incoherently as the intrusion of his length stretched your hole.

"-shit, such a tight little pussy", his pace greedily fastened.

You were a mess. All that was heard in the quiet night was the way he rammed his cock into your pussy. Balls slapping against your clit.

"Such a whore you are, aren't you? You like getting rammed from behind by an officer out in the outdoors?" he said as he continued abusing your cunt.

"Who would've thought a pretty thing like you was such a dirty slut, huh?" Your walls clenched by each word coming out of his filthy mouth.

"yes!yes!yes!", he fucked you deliciously good, your orgasm threatening to approach with his current pace.

You were cock drunk. Barely paying any kind of attention to the fact you were getting rammed out in public. Any person or car could pass by but your mind would only be focused on the way his dick drilled at a relentless speed.

His fingers sinked to your clit, rubbing your bud provoking your body to tremble in ecstasy of how he worked wonders on your body.

"Sir, i-it's too much!"

"You can take it ,baby. Milk my cock, make a mess.”

His words were perfectly on cue. Creaming his cock in your release. Falling limp into his arms. His release wasn't too far off yours. Head leaning into your neck as both of your panted. Silence went on for a few minutes before he helped with re-dressing you.

The officer broke the silence, "So, the names Jungkook. Could we perhaps exchange numbers, I'd like to take you out sometime soon.”

- end

[multi-fandomfuckboy]

Stranger Than Fiction

Part 28: Games

Billy Hargrove x Reader (Slowburn)

Part 1,... (Masterlist)...Part 28, Part 29 (Coming Soon)...

AN: lol I'm back on my bullshit. Word Count: 3,874 Warnings: allusions to abuse

It’s a short ride. Neither of you speak, allowing the music to fill the space between you. It’s comfortable. You listen to each song as the cassette plays through the specific mix curated by its maker. Max had shown you a few of these ‘mixtapes' Billy had made the day you waited with her. You don’t fully understand how he’s able to get each song to seamlessly blend into the next despite the variation in artists and rhythms. 

Then a song comes on that grabs your attention. It’s the same loud tune, a guitar continuously strumming along with the beat of drums and bass. The thing that stands out to you are the lyrics. 

“People think I’m insane,  because I’m frowning all the time…  I need someone to show me the things in life that I can’t find I can’t see the things that make true happiness,  I must be blind.”

“Who sings this?” You ask, glancing sidelong at Billy. 

“Black Sabbath.” He tells you, keeping his eyes ahead. “It’s one of their older songs but it still holds up.” He explains pulling to a stop in front of his house. When he moves to cut the engine your hand reflexively grabs his wrist, stopping him. 

“Wait. I want to hear the rest.” You tell him, using your other hand to turn up the volume.   Billy doesn’t fight you, watching you in silence as you listen to the rest of the song. 

“Make a joke and I will sigh And you will laugh and I will cry Happiness I cannot feel And love to me is so unreal… I tell you to enjoy life I wish I could, but it’s too late”

Your heart gives an uncomfortable squeeze for a beat as the song ends. There is a tense moment before the next song begins where you notice Billy's pulse under your fingertips. You don’t know why you're squeezing Billy’s wrist so tightly. You slowly uncurl your fingers, sitting back in your seat. The lyrics bounce around in your mind as you sit there. Billy finally cuts the engine, ending the music as well. 

“You okay?” Billy finally asks, lifting a brow. You nod.

“Yea, it’s just weird. How something can sound so loud and angry but under it all it’s actually really sad.” You explain. “Like a cry for help.” Billy’s lips quirk up slightly.

“Maybe that’s what they were going for?” He says. “Music is just another way to tell a story. I’m surprised you’re not more into it.” He tells you, moving to exit the car. “If you thought that was good I’ll have to show you some Bon Jovi.” He goes on as you follow him out of the car and up the steps towards the house. “I’m assuming you have no idea who that is.” Billy says with a smirk. 

“Yea yea, save it. Max already thinks I’ve been living under a rock for the past 17 years.” You reply with an eye roll. Billy huffs a laugh. 

“That little shit wouldn’t know dick about music if it weren’t for me.” He says, pulling out his keys. His words are harsh but there is no heat to them. 

“Well this is a first.” You quip as he unlocks and opens the front door, stepping to the side to let you enter first. “A whole different experience than coming in though the window.” You joke, stepping into the house. 

“We can always go around back if you’d feel more comfortable.” He jokes back, following you in. You take a moment to really look around as Billy closes and bolts the door behind you. You’ve never been in this part of the house, only glimpsing at it through windows. It’s not a large space and it’s clear that 4 people occupy the small domicile. Bits and pieces of everyones lives are scattered around. 

“I think I’m good.” You reply. You notice that there is a clear clash in interior design through the house. The free weights contrast with the decorative rug under them. Beer cans stacked next to decorative shell decor on the mantle. Someone had tried to make this house a home, but there was something off. It felt like two personalities were struggling to mesh into a comfortable middle, it was unstable, chaotic. 

Billy moves around you to lead you deeper into the house but before you can move any further Max’s voice calls from her room. 

“Billy, I need to go to the arcade! Where did you-oh.” She stops short seeing you in the living room. For some reason it feels like you’ve been caught doing something you shouldn’t, a pit of anxiety taking root in your stomach. 

“Hey Max.” You greet, giving her a half wave. She just watches you skeptically. Her narrowed eyes dart between you and Billy. 

“What’s your malfunction?” Billy snaps after the silence lasts a moment longer than is comfortable. 

“Are you two dating?” Max asks bluntly. 

“What?!” Both you and Billy ask in unison. You share a confused glance before turning back to Max. Your face heats exponentially. 

“Mind your own business you little shit.” Billy bites at the same time you try to explain. 

“He’s tutoring me in history.” A smirk, eerily similar to Billy’s, spreads across Max’s face. 

“Is that what they call it these days?” She asks, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall, a taunting lift in her brow. 

“If you want a ride, I would shut the hell up.” Billy says sternly, narrowing his eyes at the redhead. 

“Jeez, learn how to take a joke.” Max huffs with an exaggerated roll of her eyes. She ducks back into her room, leaving you and Billy in the living room. Billy just shakes his head, clenching his jaw as he heads for his room. 

“I swear if her attitude gets any worse Neil is going to lose his shit.” He mumbles, pushing his hair back from his forehead. “Be ready in 20 minutes!” He yells after her. The only confirmation that she heard him comes in the form of a dramatic groan. 

“That’s how all kids are at that age. I was so argumentative my mom and I didn’t have a pleasant interaction for weeks at a time, and don’t get me started on Hopper. I’m pretty sure I took years off his life with my attitude.” You chuckle fondly at the memory of your painful growing years. 

“Sometimes being a kid isn’t a good enough excuse.” Billy replies calmly. Your stomach twists uncomfortably remembering how Neil had looked at his own son that night not so long ago. 

“Neil and Susan are in Indianapolis Christmas shopping, so I’m playing chauffeur for the day.” Billy explains, entering his room and heading straight for the bed, flopping down on it. 

“I don’t mind helping watch her.” You offer without much thought. You hover in the doorway, suddenly nervous about being in his room alone with him. It’s not like you had never been in his room alone before, you spent many nights sitting across from him on the bed pouring over history lessons, keeping your voices low to not wake anyone else in the house. But something about being here in the daylight, not sneaking around, it makes your stomach swirl. You glance around, his room looks the same as it always does. Bed half made, cigarette butts stamped out in the ashtray next to the cassettes on the nightstand. You do notice that there is now a small dent in the wall next to the mirror, but you can’t be sure that it wasn’t always there.

“Neil would kick my ass if he knew I pawned my responsibility off on you.” Billy explains, propping himself up on his elbow to see you. You absentmindedly skim your fingers over the outside of the doorframe.

“It’s not ‘pawning’ them off on me. We would do it together.” You reason with him. Your fingers catch on something cold and metal on the outside of the doorframe. Leaning back to glance at what you’re touching you see the latch of a lock. Glancing at the outer side of the door you see the other half of the latch. Something cold prickles down your spine.

This isn’t just a teenager wanting privacy, the way this latch is set up, it would function to lock the door from the outside. Why would anyone need that? Your mind struggles to make sense of it. 

“He wouldn’t see it that way.” He tells you flatly. 

“Then don’t tell him.” You say simply, stepping fully into the room. “I’ll help you out today and I’ll be gone by the time they get home. “ you explain, sitting gently on the edge of the bed next to his legs. “Just like when we painted the porch.” You remind him. You watch something dance behind his eyes at the memory from this summer that feels like a hundred years ago. “Consider it part of my tutoring payment. I know the food isn’t a fair trade.” You insist. When he finally nods, giving in, you have to smile. 

“Fine. But only because the idea of dealing with a prepubescent she-devil by myself makes me want to stick needles in my brain… and leaving her alone is not an option.” He tells you, sitting up next to you. His thigh presses against yours, and the proximity sends sparks over your nerves. 

Remembering the promise you made yourself before leaving home you try to scoot away to put some distance between your bodies. Billy notices the movement immediately. 

“Oh sorry, am I making you nervous?” He asks, leaning in even closer, one of his arms going behind your back. He’s not touching you, but he’s close enough that you can feel him if you lean back even slightly. You struggle to hold his gaze.

“No.” You say simply, not trusting your voice to say more without shaking. 

“You sure?” He asks, lifting a brow. You feel him lean in even closer, you swear you can feel the heat coming off of him. You force yourself to hold his gaze and remain still, fighting the urge to pull away. Like a game of personal space chicken.

“I’m fine.” You practically whisper, your voice sounding too loud with how close he is. When he chuckles you can feel the warmth of his breath against your cheek. His eyes shift between yours. You can see the flecks of green in his sky blue iris. Your breath mingles with his and you smell his last cigarette mixed with spearmint gum. You swallow thickly, gritting your teeth together in defiance. 

“You can tell me if you’re not.” Billy insists, his voice just as soft. He’s flirting but you can hear the seriousness laced in his tone. He’s making sure you know he’ll stop, if you ask. Something about that knowledge eases the panic in you. Shifting slightly you tilt your chin up, watching him the way he always looks at you.

“I’m okay.” You say more confidently. You see his adams apple bob as he swallows, his eyes seeming to darken. His gaze flickers to your parted lips so quickly you think you imagined it. Your mouth suddenly goes dry, your stomach flipping at the memory of what his lips felt like against you-

“Right, that’s what ‘not dating’ looks like.” Max’s voice calls loudly from the doorway. You feel like a bucket of ice water has just been poured over your head as you pull away from Billy. Embarrassment floods through you as Billy leaps from the bed lunging towards the door. 

“Fuck off!” He yells, slamming the door closed. 

“I still need a ride!” Max yells from outside the door, pounding on it for emphasis. Billy’s shoulders are tense as he stands with his back to you, his arms braced against the door. You see him take a deep breath, then another, bowing his head as he lowers his arms, slightly adjusting the waistband of his jeans. 

“You sure you want in on this shit show?” He asks, turning to lean back against the door. Max pounds on the door again, shaking its frame. You manage a dry laugh, trying to shove all the mortifying shame you feel into the back of your mind. 

“Oh this is nothing. Try telling Mike Wheeler a campaign needs to end early. Kid turns into a gremlin.” You tell him, pushing yourself off the bed. Billy lifts a brow. 

“I’m more surprised that you know what a gremlin is.” He admits teasingly. You roll your eyes. 

“I do have a life outside of this room you know.” You tell him. You won’t admit that the only reason you know the plot of gremlins is because Steve insisted on catching you up on all the big hits you had missed while you were in the hospital, not that you had actually seen it in theaters. 

Billy watches you approach with a healthy dose of skepticism. 

“Come on Hargrove, put on a brave face. I hear they can smell fear.” You joke, clapping a hand on his shoulder. 

“I’m going to be late!” Max yells, pounding harder. 

“Be my guest Loca, I always knew you had a death wish.” Billy says with a smirk. Your heart pounds at the memory of your first meeting. It feels like a million years ago, like you were an entirely different person, and looking at Billy’s confident smirk, the teasing glint in his eyes, you wonder if he’s a different person now too. 

Without another word, Billy whips open the door to reveal a very agitated Max.

“Finally!” She exclaims, turning on her heel striding towards the front door, her bag already slung over her shoulder. Billy shoots you a look over his shoulder before following after her. 

“Hey, Max?” You call, slipping in front of Billy to catch up to her. She only glances at you, still heading for the door. “Do you mind if I tag along to the arcade?” You ask. Your words cause her to halt, turning to face you with the full force of her scrutinizing glare. You feel Billy come to a stop behind you, her eyes dart to him before returning to you. 

“Did he ask you to babysit me?” She asks indignantly. 

“No!” You say, throwing your hands up. “I just thought you could teach me some stuff. I’m not very good and I hear you kick the boys' butts on a regular basis.” You explain, hoping it comes off as genuine. She studies you for another beat, seeming to weigh the pros and cons of allowing you to come with her. Finally, she shrugs. 

“Fine. But don’t try to talk to me while I’m playing. It throws me off.” She instructs, turning for the door. When her back is turned you quickly give Billy an enthusiastic thumbs up, earning another eye roll. 

The three of you climb into the car, Billy turning the volume up to his usual bone shaking level as he whips out of his spot, speeding down the road. It’s a short ride into town, especially with how Billy drives. When he comes to a stop outside the arcade you climb out, pulling the seat forward to allow Max out. 

“I’ll meet you in there.” you tell her. Needing no explanation, Max jogs to the doors slipping into the dimly lit building. You can see the boys' bikes already lined up outside. “You coming?” you ask Billy, leaning back into the car. 

“Hell no. I can babysit just fine from here. You couldn’t pay me to go into that dork pit.” He scoffs. You roll your eyes at his stubbornness. 

“Oh come on, tough guy. Where is your sense of adventure and whimsy.” you ask, only receiving an unimpressed look in return. 

“Whimsy?” He asks, his lip curling at the word. 

“I’ll buy you a coke.” you offer, hoping that bribery will soften his resolve. Billy’s lips press into a firm line, you can see his jaw tick as he grinds his teeth. 

“Fine.” he says after a moment. “But I have to run an errand real quick.” He tells you. Thinking this is some kind of trick to get out of coming in, you narrow your eyes. 

“You promise to come in when you get back?” you ask, extending your pinky to him. He lifts a brow, a dry laugh escaping him.

“What are you 12?” He asks. When you don’t show any signs of joking he heaves a sigh, linking his pinky with yours. “Fine, yes. I promise I’ll come back and watch you be terrible at dig dug, dork.” He promises with a teasing smirk. 

“Good.” you smile, letting his pinky go and stepping back. “And I’m not that bad.” you clarify, closing the door and allowing him to pull away from the curb. 

It turns out that you ARE that bad. 

Max allows you to take the first turn, even offering you pointers, but by the end of your third turn she takes over explaining that she can’t stand watching you throw away quarters like that. You’re a sorry excuse for a gamer, your brain having trouble communicating quickly enough with your hands on the controls. It’s alright though, you have more fun watching Max and the boys take turns trying to beat each other's scores. 

The longer you observe the group of adolescents the more you note the change in dynamic among them. Max and Lucus are openly interested in each other but don’t seem to know how to navigate this new realm of relationship. Mike appears distracted, constantly glancing at his watch. You assume he’s anxious to see El. You know that Hopper has started allowing the two to hang out at the cabin and though you’ve pushed for El to have more social time, Hopper's old habits die hard. His paranoia is persistent. You can’t say that you don’t understand where he’s coming from. 

Dustin and Will seem more irritated than anything with the new shift in priorities within the group. 

After roughly 30 minutes of watching Max wipe the floor with the boys scores, you venture to the opposite side of the arcade. You want to give the group space but also stay close enough to keep an eye on them. You scan the games, searching for one that you can play without too much instruction. Ms. Pac-Man seems to be simple enough, and it’s located in a spot that allows you to watch your group bounce from game to game. 

Inserting your first quarter you begin the game. You’re able to keep up at first, but when the ghosts start to speed up you can't seem to evade them quick enough. After your 4th quarter your pride is stinging. 

“Fuck…” you curse to yourself as once again you are cornered by the little red ghost. Before you can insert another quarter, you feel someone approaching from your left, coming too close to just be passing by, tensing your hand itches to lash out but you stop yourself when you realize who it is.

“Hey.” Keiths’ monotone voice greets you. You know him from school, and to your knowledge the two of you had never actually spoken to each other. 

“Hi Keith.” you reply politely. You aren’t sure why he’s approaching you. You know that he works here so possibly you were doing something wrong. “What’s up?” you ask. Kieth seems to swallow past something in his struggle to speak. 

“I see you around sometimes.” he tells you, unable to meet your eyes. You don’t know what to say to that.

“Yea, I babysit so I come in to keep an eye on my kids sometimes.” you tell him. 

“That’s cool.” he mumbles “You know I could help you with some of the games if you want. Are you alone today?” He asks. You know he doesn't mean for it to sound as creepy as it does but you can’t help your slight cringe. 

“No, I’m actually with-” you move to gesture towards Max but are cut off when Billy appears next to you, casually draping an arm over your shoulders. 

“Me.” He finishes for you, keeping his eyes on Keith who looks like a deer caught in headlights. 

“O-oh, cool.” Keith manages to mumble, taking a step back. “Nevermind then” he manages to get out, obviously resisting the urge to turn and run. Understandable with the way Billy is glaring daggers at him.

“I’ll see you around.” you offer Keith a kind smile. He only nods sheepishly before retreating further into the arcade. Sighing, you swat at Billy’s side, causing him to drop his arm from your shoulder with a chuckle.

“What was that for?” he asks, doing his best to look genuinely confused. You see right through it to the self satisfaction he's really feeling. 

“Did you have to mad dog him? He was just saying ‘Hi’.” you tell him. Billy scoffs, moving to lean against the game. 

“Yea, right.” He says, sarcasm dripping from every word. “You didn’t see how he’s been eyeing you, trying to work up the courage to come ‘say hi’.” he tells you, throwing air quotes around your words. 

“And how long were you watching that?” You ask, crossing your arms over your chest. Billy shakes his head, his curls falling across his forehead.

“You’re missing the point.” He tells you, deflecting the question. 

“What point is that?” You ask, shaking your head as you dig a quarter out of your pocket and lean over to place it into the game. When you straighten up Billy has taken a step into your space. You could take a step back to give yourself some room, but you don't. You stand your ground, tilting your head up to meet his stare head on. 

“The point is that you’re playing a game you don’t know the rules of and guys like that-” he jerks his chin in the direction Keith had run off. “Will take advantage of that.” he tells you, his voice low. You know he’s too close. That you should take a step back. That the way he’s looking down at you is too personal. That either one of you could close the distance between you with a breath. 

“I’m not really good at games.” you admit, feeling the heat rushing to your face. Still you can’t seem to look away. Billy’s sharp gaze seems to soften slightly at your admission. 

“I know…” He says softly, his eyes shifting between yours. “I just watched you die 4 times and not even make it past the first level of Pac-man.” He says, his teasing smirk overtaking all the gentleness that had once been in his eyes. Finally, you pull back shocked.

“You stalker!” you accuse, Billy just chuckles turning to face the game. “And I was multitasking.” you try to defend your abysmal performance, gesturing to the group now huddled around galaga. 

“Sure, sure. Let me show you how it’s done.” he says confidently, starting the queued up game. 

“Hey! That was my quarter!” You protest. Billy only chuckles again.

“I’ll get the next one, crazy.” he tells you, keeping his eyes fixed on the screen.

AN: sorry this took so long... again!

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[lustkillers]

BEGGIN' ON HER KNEES TO BE POPULAR !

⊹₊ ⋆ summary. - she wants more fame, he's helping her gain that.

┃ tags/warnings. ࿐ ❪ probably not set in the right era, nsfw freak shit. dom!euronymous, sub!reader. reader and euro are opposites, unprotected sex, degradation, praising, crying, face-fucking, reader and euro make a sex tape, office sex? exhibitionism?? creampie, freak shit. ❫

⊹₊ ⋆ pairing - euronymous x famous!fem!reader. ❪ not the actual euronymous, only rory’s portrayal. ❫

⊹₊ ⋆ note - fucking hate the idol show, but this song is so orgasmic for no reason. not proofread.

THE first time you both met, the venue was flashing red and blue lights. You were downing shots with friends, and his fingers were playing on the stringed instrument.

He was mesmerizing you with his skill and confidence. You felt a shared electric current buzzing in the air, and before you could shift your gaze away he had already caught it. His eyes were remote, yet deep; like an ocean full of secrets that only revealed themselves when someone is brave enough to swim away from shore.

It was like his music seduced you, as you got up from your spot in the venue, his eyes followed you. You felt an exciting but strange feeling in the pit of your stomach as you started swaying your body with the music.

You could feel his gaze burning into the back of your neck. He knew who you were, and before you knew it his time was up on stage, now standing right beside you, his hands on your hips. Your heart raced as you looked into his eyes, feeling the same electric current that had taken over your body earlier.

A surge of confidence jolted through your veins as the music kept playing, your hips grinding on his slightly-toned body. The atmosphere in the room was intense and before you knew it, time froze as his lips brushed up against yours.

The sensation of his lips on yours sent shivers down your spine, making every inch of your body tingle with anticipation. You leaned in closer to him, wanting more as he deepened the kiss.

But that's where your first encounter ended.

After that encounter happened, you still kept in touch. He still did his music, and you did yours. Every time he'd perform, you'd find yourself in the crowd, watching him with a newfound appreciation for his passion.

However, as his music career boosted, yours declined. He started to get more and more attention from other people, leaving you feeling a little bit jealous. You couldn't help but feel a bit of envy as you watched him perform and receive praise.

"How'd you do it?" You were now talking to him after his show, your question masked by the thumping of music.

He didn't answer you, putting his stuff away. You cleared your throat, feeling embarrassed for asking him that question.

You really needed his help, and you were willing to anything. You were desperate.

"Look, I need your help. My shit isn’t going well, and I don't know what else to do," you pleaded, your voice barely audible over the loud music.

He looked at you, smirking. "Maybe if we worked together, I could help," he said finally.

You raised an eyebrow, "Together? How is that going to work?" He smiled mischievously, "Come by Helvete tomorrow, and you'll find out." And with that, he left you alone, your stomach feeling warm at his words.

The next day, you made your way to Helvete. He was already there, waiting for you. He motioned to his office, gesturing for you to enter.

Once inside, you stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do. He smiled. "I think I have a way that we can help each other out," he said.

His expression shifted to a lust filled one, and you felt your face flush. He licked his lips and you knew what he was suggesting. "On your knees, slut." He commanded.

Your heart began to race and you felt a mix of fear and excitement at his words. You slowly got on your knees, bracing yourself for whatever was coming next. He stepped closer to you and grabbed ahold of your chin, lifting it up so he could look into your eyes. "Now, I’m going to help you, and in return you’re going to help me." He said with a smirk.

You nodded, unable to speak, as he explained the terms of your agreement, bringing in the factor of him recording you both. When he was finished, you swallowed hard and looked him in the eyes. You knew that if you said yes it would change your life forever--but it was a risk that seemed worth taking.

He smiled, satisfied with your response. "Good girl," he said as he reached out and grasped the back of your neck roughly, pulling you into a passionate kiss. You felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest as the intensity of his lips grew stronger and stronger. When he finally pulled away you were left feeling breathless and dizzy-- but you couldn't deny the warmth that was spreading through your body.

He pushed you back onto your knees, looking down at you with a satisfied smirk. "Now, if you want to keep your end of the bargain," he continued, his voice low and threatening, "you're going to do exactly what I say."

His words made you more aroused, and if he kept it up for much longer, you were probably going to be in a pool of your wetness.

His hands unzipped his pants, revealing his cock. Your eyes slightly widened, and you found yourself salivating at the thought of it inside of you.

He commanded you to take him in your mouth, and with a deep breath, you complied. You ran your tongue around his hardness before taking him into your mouth fully. He moaned in pleasure as he grabbed onto the back of your head, gently pushing himself deeper and deeper down your throat, now gaining control.

He started to thrust faster and deeper, your spit pooling out the sides of your face. His cock speared to the back of your throat, and you started to gag. You tried to pull away, but his fingers were still intertwined in your hair, refusing for you to get away.

It went on for a couple of more minutes, and you were moments away from passing out. He pulled out, a line of spit connected between your lips and his cock. He smiled down on you, enjoying the view of you in a state of utter submission.

"Up, bitch." He commanded. You got up, unsteady on your feet, and he pulled you into a rough kiss. He licked your lips, tasted himself on you. His hands wandered down your body, cupping and squeezing every inch of you as he kissed you deeply.

Both of you slowly walked to his desk, both of you removing your clothes. He laid you down, his hands caressing and exploring every inch of your body. His lips pressed against yours, leaving a light trail down to your neck.

His hands moved lower, fingers gently teasing your wet folds before entering you. You gasped in pleasure as he thrust gently inside of you, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body as he increased the intensity of his thrusts.

"F-Fuck, Euro!" You cried out, your breathing quickening as he continued to thrust in and out of you. He smiled down at your blissful expression before increasing the speed, his hands gripping your hips tightly.

You moaned in pleasure and closed your eyes, surrendering to the sensation of his rushing within you. His hands roamed all over you as he took in every moan and scream of pleasure with each thrust.

The pleasure felt suffocating, your head going dizzy. "M'gonna cum," you babbled out.

Euro's eyes lit up as he picked up the pace, pushing you closer and closer until you finally tumbled over the edge. You screamed out his name like a prayer as your body quivered in pleasure.

His movements became more erratic and intense, chanting your name with profanities. You still felt sensitive, the pleasure almost knocking you out.

You felt a hot burst fill you, his arms trembling as he thrust deeper and held himself inside you, stuffing you full. You both lay still, panting as he remained inside you.

Euronymous squatted down to your puffed-out pussy, his mouth attaching to it. He licked and sucked on your sensitive flesh, sending sensations all through you.

Your hands tangled through his hair, "S'too much!" You cried out, but still needy for more. He chuckled, his hands caressing your thighs as he kept licking and sucking.

He paid attention to every inch of you, lavishing in the taste of your orgasm-induced cum until finally you could take no more.

You laid there, feeling utterly satisfied, as Euronymous got up and walked to the camera, turning it off, smirking.

"That was quite the show, wasn't it?" He said with a wink.

You blushed and smiled, feeling content inside as you thought of what just happened. You were left feeling content in a way you hadn't before, and you knew that this would be something that neither of you would forget.

You bit your lip, smiling at him as your hair was tousled. This was it, you both did it.

You were going to be famous.

"BEAUTIFUL BABE GETS FUCKED BY GUITARIST, EURONYMOUS! WATCH NOW!"

And you did.

[bigbadbatch]

The Tortured Padawan Department

I am starting a mini-one shot series where I mix Taylor Swift's TTPD with my favorite Star Wars Boys. Each one shot has an essential listening song (be on the look out for quotes and themes!) Rex and Hunter are heavy focused for first two, with a surprise guest in the third fic!

First up: Guilty as Sin?

Word Count: 1.5k

A Captain Rex x Fem!reader fic

Attachment is forbidden for a Jedi, but what if it's a sin worth committing ?

You woke up drenched in sweat, panting. The temple was quiet, and your small bedroom deafeningly silent. Your heart pounded, and you worried it could be heard through the thin walls around you. That dream. Again. This was the seventh occasion you had such a dream. It always started decent enough. Then it became anything but decent. Your skin prickled remembering- the smell of him in the dream, the feel of his rough hands on your arms, your back, your…

 “Rex.” You cursed under your breath. You needed to walk this off. Getting quickly dressed, you stepped out into the empty hall of the Jedi Temple. It was his fault, really. All the flirtations on the field, the way he always dared to joke with you. His smile, his laugh. You shook your head and left the temple, walking towards the bright city lights, and the bars you knew awaited. This is what you always did after one of those dreams. Go for a drink, a fling, anything to help you clear your head, get your fix. Sex wasn’t forbidden for a Jedi, if anything it could be encouraged to blow off steam after a battle. But attachment. There was the trick of it. Attachment was strictly against the code. To get attached, to love, was to eventually lose. Grief, jealousy, fear- these all lead to the Dark Side. Still, it came so naturally. Especially with him. Rex had taken you under his wing when you were transferred to the 501st. You had been hesitant, still hurting from the loss of your Master and the 271st, all lost in the Battle of Rankill, you the sole survivior.

Those were the first recurring dreams you had, nightmares of reliving the loss over and over. Your Master running, trying desperately to save his men, you, and the man he loved. It was no secret that Commander Dax and your Master were involved. If anything it was part of the reason you felt so strongly about attachment. Your Master’s love is what got him killed, and neither he, his lover, nor his men were left to show for it. Only you, a new stray picked up by Master Kenobi, were left standing to carry your Master’s legacy.

What would he think of me? You ponder as you enter the bar, neon lights, music and chatter streaming from the open door. You had barely taken a seat when you heard your name being called. An all too familiar form strode to you, smiling.

“Fancy seeing you here. Isn’t it past your bedtime?” Rex saddled up next to you, as if that seat was meant for him. The grinning, handsome clone put his arm around you, jostling your shoulder, friendly.

“Aren’t you typically at 79’s?” You ask incredulously. How could he be here, of all places? Of all people, him, here, now?

“Wanted a change of scenery, and I must admit I like the view.” He growls, and you scowled and shoved his arm off of you.

“Well, I wanted a drink. Buy me one?” You said, smirking. 

He somehow smiled even wider than before. “Sure thing cyare, be right back.” 

Shit, shit, shit. Your skin was so warm where he had touched you, and his casual flirting set your heart fluttering. You knew you should leave, before he gets back. You’re too pent up, too enamored by him to deal with this rationally. A broad body slid back in next to you.

“You looked like you could use something a bit strong. You alright tonight, mesh’la?”

You knew what the Mandalorian words meant, and knew he meant them in good fun. He must. In one stroke you downed the whole drink, it burning as it went down.

“Well shit.” He said. “What’s going on?”

You shake your head. He was too close to you. You could smell his leathery, smoky scent, and it filled you up. Your stomach was fluttering, flashes of the dream popping into your mind. He wasn’t supposed to be here. You needed a distraction. 

“Let’s dance.”

Even you are surprised by the words that come out of your mouth. Rex’s eyebrows shot up.

“Alright. We can dance.”

He stood and gestured for you to lead the way. 

The dancefloor was crowded, and the music thumping. It rattled your bones, the fast beat just what you needed. You closed your eyes and let the movement come to you. You couldn't see Rex, but you could still feel him near, his body swaying in time with yours.  You gave yourself over to the music. It was almost like a form of meditation, getting you in tune with yourself once again.

Warm hands brushed your hips. Eyes still closed, mind still consumed by the drink and the music, you leaned in. The hands grasped you strongly, swinging your hips back and forth with the music, your body rolling. You felt alive. Everything forgotten, your past, your present, your dreams, the only thing that mattered was this moment. He pulled you close, chest to chest, with no room between you. Your hips circled, and his ground, and you couldn't help it, your lips parted and you exhaled. His head bent, and lips brushed the side of your neck. You twined your arms around him, pulling him closer, the two of you spinning in a slow circle, at odds with the quick rhythm of the music. A hand slipped up to your neck, then to your face. The large, rugged hand cupped your face and you leaned into it. You could feel warm breath on your lips, and without thinking moved to meet his. 

Fireworks exploded. Warmth flooded your body as you gave in to the kiss. Then you opened your eyes. No. Rex gazed back at you, stars in his eyes. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that.” he said. 

Fear seized you. You tensed, and he immediately noticed. He took his hands off of you as you backed away. No. No. No. No. You shook your head, nearly trembling, and bolted for the door. “Wait!” He called after you, but you were gone into the night. 

You ran, legs pumping, heart racing down the streets. You ran past 79’s, past the temple, until you couldn’t run anymore. You ducked into an alley, gasping for breath. Anger, fear, guilt, all of these emotions flooded you. You punched the stone wall in front of you and nearly screamed in exasperation. Your bones felt like they were breaking inside your skin, your head pounded with bad thoughts. You were bad. You were wrong. You had been having these dreams, you clearly wanted what you knew you couldn’t and shouldn’t have. You led him on. You were guilty of attachment, guilty for your feelings. Guilty for falling in love with Rex. Tears sprang to your eyes.

You thought about him day in and out. You worried about him in battle, on the field. You touched yourself to thoughts of him. You'd already been with him a thousand times in your mind. You pretended your one-night stands were him. You nearly sobbed at the revelation. You did love him. You loved him.

“Cyare!” A shout and the pounding of feet towards you roused you. You hurriedly wiped your eyes in an attempt to hide your shame, but he saw.

“Cyare please, are you okay? I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I went too far.” Rex grabbed your hands and pulled them from your hiding face, wiping tears from your eyes as he did. You can’t help it. You laugh. You laugh at the absurdity of this.

“No, I’m sorry.” You said, and with your back to the wall you slid down onto the cold ground, head in your hands. Without hesitation, he sat beside you, silently giving you a moment to compose your thoughts. 

“Rex”. You say, his name sickly sweet on your tongue. “We can’t do this.” Fresh tears cascaded down your face, and he quickly brushed them away for you. He was quiet, then said. “I overstepped. I thought you felt the same way, I thought we wanted the same thing. I shouldn’t have.”

You cut him off saying “I do.”

Silence.

“I don’t understand.” He said as he took your hand.

So you tell him everything. How guilty you felt, how your Master lost his life for his lover, how a good Jedi doesn’t love, and most of all how your heart was hurting.

“I love you, Rex. I shouldn’t, but I love you.” He squeezed your hand, hard and tears welled in his eyes too. “I love you too mesh’la. And I am so sorry you feel guilty, but please know, I would never want to put you in a position where you feel like this. I’m giving you full control from here on. You dictate what we are, what we do. Lovers? I’d love that. Friends? That’s fine too. If sex is what you need, I’ll gladly volunteer. I want you to be happy, and I will do anything for that. So you tell me, what do you want?”

You take a deep breath. Everything feels so much more clear with him here, now, after everything. 

“You. I want you.”

And as you kissed in that alleyway, and later gave yourself to each other completely, you felt a peace you had never known.

[crystlizabeth]

Dangerously Yours.

Paring: Carl Grimes x Blackfem!Smith!Reader

Paring: Negan Smith & BlackDaughter!Reader

Summary: You two where enemies, but there was just something that drew you two each other, but a war was in the making.

Warning: cursing, mentions of childhood trauma and abuse.

A/n: Carl lives au!! And im gonna add some songs that came out not during TWD time like or after 2013 i think! This is kinda of a self insert, This might be multiple parts, I noticed its turned into a Negan Smith x Daughter reader along with Carl x reader so enjoy.

The first time you met him he caught an additude with you trying to take some batteries out of your hand, it didn’t go well for him you grabbed his wrist twisting it telling him to fuck off. There were more instances when you would go and he somehow always pissed you off but it made sense you and Carl Grimes where enemies. So where your fathers you didn’t quite know what had all happed but you did know people died, some of your people and a few of his.

Now you where on your way back to Alexandria for a pick up you went along this time to see Eden, she was a decent girl but also a girl your age it wad hard to find friends in this day in age. Eden was closed of and was always followed by the one and only one eyed grimes, but that didn’t stop you from trying to get to know her and one of those ways was music, may it be mp3, cds or even vinyls.

“I found this mix tape a while back, its a costume one and actually really good music.” You said to Eden as you walked with her towards the supply house.

“Any songs you can recognize?” She asked taking the tape from your hand.

“Not really only a few like, Elvis, Hozier, Taylor swift, i hear alot of her music in the mixes i find.” You ended with a small laugh.

“I like Taylors music, Elvis’s pretty good to” she said with a small smile.

You two shared similar music taste even rap, you two enter the supply room running into Negan, Rick, Carl and a gal with glasses.

“Lookie here, making friends are we?” Your dad asked his usual grin on his face.

“Yeah you could say just trading some music but i need some batteries.” You said shrugging your shoulders.

Rick moved out of the way as the lady with glasses handed you 4 batteries “I only need two don’t worry about it. Unless,” you look over at Eden., “you need any?” She shook her head you nodded and handed two of the batteries back to her.

“Thank you..” you spoke lightly waiting for her name.

“Oh, its Olivia.” She said she voice shaken.

“Well thank you Olivia.” You said then turning to your dad.

“Not giving her a hard time are you?”

Negan raised his eyebrow giving you a cheeky grin “Not at all this time they actually have there shit in order.” He spoke wiggling around the list in his hand.

Nodding you left with Eden heading back to the truck with Carl running behind you two.

“Eden where are you going?” He asked.

She held the bag up in her hand that was filled with music “Trading music.” She answered simply.

He didnt say anything but continued to follow you two, you could feel his eyes burning you in the back of your head he watched every move you made.

You and Eden had gone through a crate you brought she had taken out a few albums and surprise mix tapes you liked to call them. She took ‘I love you.’ The neighborhood, ‘Anti’ Rhianna, ‘AM’ arctic monkeys and ‘Lungs’ Florance and the machine. You didn’t take any from her she didn’t have many good options so you just lended them to her.

“Really you want nothing back.” Carl voiced from behind you.

Giving him a glare “yeah theres no reason for me to take what little music she has, what are you even doing here doing you had somthing better to do cyclops.”

He glared at you “good to know your an asshole like your dad.” He spat back, he didnt appreciate the nickname but you weren’t a fan when he called you a bitch last week so your really didn’t give two shits.

“At least my dad doesn’t stand around like a bitch between his legs last time I checked you did the dirty work.” You said walking past him.

He turned to say something only for his dad to stop him. You only scoffed turning away.

A few weeks later you saw him again but this time he came by one of the trucks, he shot a few of your fathers men. When that whole mess was cleaned up Laura came and got you saying ‘your dad needs your help.’

You walked down the hall meeting Your Dad, Carl and Daryl out side on the little balcony. Carl didn’t have his bandage on this time covering his eye, Carl put his head was down after meeting your eyes.

“Whats up?” You asked.

Negan smiled “I need a favor Sweetheart, Carl here needs a little tour but i need to fix some shit the he fucked up. Keep and eye on him yeah?” He spoke looking at Carl.

“Sure just us or..?”

“Just you two, get to know each other and dont kill him, I for one actually like him unlike you.” He said laughing a little knowing the tension between you both.

“If he keeps the attitude to a minimum.. personally not a fan of it unlike you.” You say crossing your arms moving more of you weight to one side of your body.

With that they left leaving you and Carl by the railing watching over the workers, a few kids running around playing with one another.

“Is he actually your dad?” Carl asked breaking the silence. You weren’t surprised why he asked you, you two didn’t look alike and many obvious aspects.

You looked at him, his eye focused on you looking you up and down and searching for any kind of reaction. You watched as his eyes finally met yours again.

“No..” you said admitting it to him.

He tilted his head a little as a way of say ‘What’.

“He found me at the beginning of this, what about 3 years ago? Put it simply my biological father left me to fend for myself, fucked up right?” You said walking towards a stair way sitting down on the steps.

Carl stared down at you, looking up at him through your curls letting a laugh out from the look if his face.

“Are you serious..” he asked sitting down with you.

You looked over at him, “Yeah but my father had never actually been a good person. He was far from a good parent. He was a selfish, abusive man, he wasn’t fit for kids non the less 3 girls.”

Carl seemed interested. “You have Sisters?”

“Had.”

“Oh, sorry I didn’t know.” He said.

You leaned back on the stairs “Why would you? We aint friends.”

He nodded turning his head looking straight. He seemed vulnerable almost. But so where you you just opened up, trauma dumped to some guy you haven’t been able to stand for months. But in that moment there was a kind if peace and understanding.

“Why did you stick around after knowing all the bad things he’s done?” Carl asked looking back at you.

“All the bad.. nobody is good or bad. Especially in this, it survival.” You scoffed, he tried to makes his people out to be what they weren’t.

“He killed good people, friends, one of them had a kid on the way!”

You looked at him your eyes nerow slightly “Your little group took out an whole outpost of more than 50 people. Many of them had family and one of the women there was carrying a child.” You spoke sharply.

“Your people, your friends aren’t so clean of blood. Nor are you.” You finished harshly.

He did say anything else. Only looked back at his hands fidgeting with them in irritation.

He knew you where right, but he also knew you weren’t clean of blood either nobody was. There is no good or bad anymore just survivors.

You both eventually got up and you showed him around. How things work, people had jobs they earned money and they got what they need. That this was our normal, even you worked did chores to earn your keep.

You two continued to talk to each other, getting to know each other you never talked about either of your peoples. There was a spark for only knowing him and hating him for the past few months he understood you. They way his eyes lingered on you as you talked how he took in every word you where saying. What was that feeling that lingered as he left the feeling of wanting to see him again.

As weeks went by you two spoke over walkies, nit the safest options but it worked. You hadn’t let anyone this close since Negan, funny how you wanted nothing to do with this boy but now you did. He made you laugh over stupid things, gave you good advice as you did with him. He heard you cry for the first time, you even snuck out to see him one time showing him a little abandoned house by the river it was the first time in long time you both had fun.

He was feeling it two, his heart fluttered at the way you smiled, how he always held eye contact taking in the sight of you as it may be the last. You did the same but he never caught you looking at him like the way he did you. The hard truth you knew was that you two are enemies, maybe not you two but your Dads, your people.

But then shit hit the fan.

You didn’t get trapped in a sanctuary when they attacked the place, you watched as the walkers surrounded the building the echos of gun shots rang through your ears as you watched in horror as rick started to shot him down.

The only thing you could do is try and reach a different outpost. Warn them, but then you where caught.

He didn’t look familiar which scared you even more, you quicky grabbed your knife cutting his arm. He let go of you making you fall back only for someone else to grab you.

“The little bitch cut me!” The one man yelled you turned around quickly ready to strike again thats when you saw Rick and Daryl.

Your heart dropped, you where surrounded. Rick took a step toward you his hands visible “Dont Fucking come near me!” You yelled.

Rick put is gun down on the ground “Relax I don’t wanna hurt you.” His voice was calm.

“Then fuck off!”

“Where are you gonna go.” Daryl spoke.

You eyes shot over to him, you didn’t answer him. He was right though where were you gonna go, to an outpost you didn’t even know where it was at.

“Y/n we just wanna help you. I told Carl you wouldn’t get hurt.” Rick said.

Why would that matter?

“Please. Just come with us.”

You just looked at him, dumfounded.

Was it stupid yes, but you went with them handing over your weapons and walked to the gates. As they open they looks you got looks of horror from them. Rick pulled on my arm slightly letting go when I flinched. He took me into a house there sat a few people talking about what to do next.

But the all stop once their eyes landed on me.

“Sit.” Daryl said pointing at the couch his tone serious.

You where scared what did they want with you what was their plan, why where you not dead, locked up. You picked at your finger s peeling the skin off them drowning out everything around you. What the fuck is happening.

A hand fell on both of your hands you quickly looking up you saw him. His face filled with concern, he spoke but you never heard what he said the way he brows frowned trying to reach you. You began to break as both of his hand touched your arms squeezing them slightly wanting and answering out of you.

“Why am I here...” your voice tender and cracked.

“I..” Carl started but never finished he just looked at you.

“Why the hell am I here.” You asked again.

He took a deep breath “Help us end this.”

You stared at him, help them, help them. Why would you help them.

“Get away from me… Get AWAY.” You shouted pushing him away.

He stood back as you stood up, your hands gripping harshly on your hair.

“Your fucking kidding me right?! What makes you think I would help you, help these people! You know how crazy you sound.” You slightly laugh the frustration in your voice very clear. These people wanted your help. They just destroyed the only place you called home.

“Please Y/n, please.. hear us out.” Carl said.

“Your acting a fool, you just attacked my people, my home! Theres more than just Negan in there theres kids! Family, old people! What the fuck is wrong with you guys!” You yelled. “And- and you know that.. you saw it, so did he!” You finished pointing at Daryl.

They all knew that.

“What makes you think you can trust me anyway? What it your head makes you think I wouldn’t betray you.” You said your arms falling to your sides.

“Because your the one that let me out of that cell, made sure I had a clear way out.” Daryl spoke up.

You looked at him, he knew.

“And I trust you.” Carl said. “They may not but you help out friend and you’ve earned my trust, my respect.”

You shook your head, you wanted to cry, to cry like a little kid. Carl came to you again slowly pulling you in for a slight hug. Something sincere he cared for you he may have only truly known your for few weeks but he wanted you safe but with that came a cost. The talks over that walkie you had with him you could careless who herd them. Carl had fallen for a girl who he couldn’t have with out a cost.

“Y/n your something to believe In again, you could change things. Help your people.” Rick spoke.

You wanted to help your people, they deserved it they deserved to be safe. To have a life beyond the sanctuary. Alexandria was a safe place but so was your home they where good people in there people who don’t know how to protect themselves.

“But you’ll have to go behind, Negan. Lie to him.” Michonne finished.

Your head snaped at her, “I cant, i… i wont! I’ll just lie to you tell him your plans.” You said trying to get them to not believe you.

“If you do you’ll only hurt yourself…”

For my people.. but the cost was to betray a man who would do anything for you. You caught Carls eye he gave you a pleading look. He practically begged you with that look, betray your Dad for a boy.. for a boy and peace between people.

“If i betray you, I hurt myself.. if i betray my people, my family, I betray my dad, my dad is very important to me..”

“More important than your people and peace dont you want more for those family’s. For us.” Carl said, him whispering the last part only for you to hear.

For us..

You wanted that more than anything..

“Okay..”

So you helped them, you got back in through a old drain the led into the basement, you knew people would have noticed you where gone or maybe not.

When you saw Simon and Dwight they nodded at you figured you where out hidden in your room. Stupid men.

But you also knew Dwight was working with them as well, he was a traitor too.

Days had passed they finally cleared the walkers out. The plan was to attack hilltop but there was a twist, Negan on the other hand didn’t want you to have any part of it he stated “I need you here, with out people.” So you stayed.

You stayed back with your people started cleaning up putting things back together, when they came back your dad wasn’t to be seen.

“Wheres my dad?” You asked walking up to simon, he shared a look with Dwight looking back at you.

“Someone ran him off the road, all we found was blood when we finally found his car…” Simon said his tone quiet.

All you could do was stare at him “what.. is he.”

They nodded, the two men shared a look again.

Something isn’t right. They’re lying, they gotta be he couldn’t just be killed that easily.

After that Simon took charge, he seemed pleased with himself it was sickening. He bossed everyone around hell even threatened you that if you didn’t keep your mouth shut there would be ‘consequences’. It was just crazy to you, how easily he forgot his place.

But even now you had a job. So you did it you told them what happened leaving a note in the woods for them to find.

When you got back, There stood Negan. He turned to look at you giving you a smile.

“Hiya Sweetheart, how ya been.” His voice sweet giving you a hug.

“They said you where dead.” You said in a whisper only for him to hear.

He nodded looking at you back to Simon who was staring you down. You already knew he was fucked but lets make it worse, not here though. Negan wanted to talk anyway.

You sat on the couch in his room waiting for him, he startled you out of your trace as he placed his hand on the side if your head kissing you on the top of the head.

“Now tell me what the shit has he all done..?” He asked coming around sitting next to you.

“He pretty much took over your place bossing people around, and that attack on hilltop went south from what I heard, oh! He also threatened me” you said.

He turned his head to look at me. “ Do I dare ask what he said..” his voice went dark the look he held could kill.

You told him you may have exaggerated it a bit but you could careless the son of a bitch deserved it. His actions has consequences.

After that conversation you just sat there with him your head laying on his shoulder your arms wrapped around his arm.

“Im sorry..” you spoke softly, you could feel your throat swell up as you hold back tears.

“Its not your fault, Princess..” its been a minute since he’s called you princess, hell you where. You may not be his blood but your the only child he’s ever had, you where his daughter, his little girl.

The day finally came, but you weren’t standing with them you stood with Carl not your Father. The sound of that familiar call rang through your ears as everyone raised there gun.

“Well damn Rick, lookie here.” Negans voice echoed through a radio.

“Pegged again, pegged so very hard.”

Everyone moved around looking for them “ I ambushed your ambush with an even bigger ambush.” You could hear a slight chuckle after.

“Why don’t you step out and face us!” Rick yelled out as he looked around looking for any kind of movement.

“Oh I am everywhere Rick.” He said.

You closed your eyes settling your breath you felt a hand on your back, opening your eyes looking to you left you saw carl. He gave you a nod trying to give you some kind of comfort. You could hear Negan he went on talking about Eugene and Dwight, going to to Gabriel. Then he said your name.

“Where is my daughter because I would love to know. Kind fucked up how your little psycho of a son came in one day and now my daughter is gone. You happen to know anything about that.” His voice was serious, you had been gone since yesterday.

Rick looked back at you, you shook your head telling him not to say a word.

“But here we go, congratulations Rick.” Was the last thing he said before he started a count down.

They came out starting to fire only for their weapons to back fire on them.

Every thing happend to fast.

Soon enough they had surrendered, the saviors where on their knees hands in the air. Rick and Negan ran off, you looked around for them Carl and Rosita following behind me a little.

You finally got up to the hill you saw them standing in-front of each other talking, Negans face fell looking like he was going to cry at what Rick said. For a moment they stood there. Then it happened.

“NO!” You screamed, you went to run towards them only for Rosita to grab you holding you tightly.

“NO YOU LIER! YOU SAID YOU WERNT GONNA KILL HIM!” You Sobbed, struggling against Rosita and she tried calming you down.

“You fucking Lier! Please he’s all i have, please.” You begged your body slightly collapsing in Rositas Arms Carl came in front of you helping Rosita turn you so you did have to see him bleed out.

“You fucking people lied. I trusted you.” You cried.

“I didn’t know, Y/n I didn’t know.” Carl said his hands cupping your face making you looks at him.

Your sobs continue, As you fell into his arms. Rosita let go of you only staying behind you. The only thing in the field you could hear was you sobbing, Carls gentle tone trying to calm you. His hand gently rubbing your back, your hands covered your face your head resting on Carls shoulder.

“Save him.”

You pushed of Carls shoulder looking up. The widow started to do the same thing you had just done, Michonne holding her back as she yelled at rick, begging him to keep Negan dead.

“We have to make it right.” Maggie sobbed.

A year had now passed, you hadn’t been able to see Negan they wouldn’t let you. But what they did do it tell him that you had helped them, not by much but you did.

“Why would they do that..” you asked, Carl looked up at you.

“In not sure.. ask my dad why he did.” He said, you only glared at him.

“Common babe, you cant hold that anger with him forever especially that your my girlfriend.” He laughed slightly standing up from the step turning to you pulling you up.

“Its called a grunge, and yeah I can. They go on telling Negan i betrayed him and i don’t even get to explain my self to him.” You spoke the irritation in your voice quite visible.

Carl sighed, “I know Y/n..” he pulled you in by your hands.

“Talk to Michonne, you like her at lest.” Carl said giving you a kiss.

So you where gonna do just that but first you had to find her. When you did she was with Judith on the porch Rosita with her. Rosita gave you a smile as she left.

Michonne looked at you giving you a small smile “Hi Y/n how are you?” She said.

“Im fine but i have a question.” You spoke, she nodded letting you continue.

“Why wont you let me see him” befor she could speek you cut her off “I know i ask this way to often but you told him everything i could attest give him an exclamation, you just letting him believe that what i did was for the worst, so please. Wouldn’t you want Carl to tell you if that had happened to him not just to stay quiet and believe he did it to hurt you.” You finished.

Michonne signed “You’ll have five minutes.”

Your face light up “Thank you, Thank you!”

She grabbed Judith giving her to a friend as she walked you to the basement, Carl and Rosita followed you two and you walked down the stairs she told you to wait.

“You have a Visitor.” She said before waving you in.

It was dark but you could see him, and he looked like shit. “Five minutes.” Michonne said walking over to the door keeping it open but she walked up them.

The silence between you two lingered for a minute, after all that begging you couldn’t get your self to say anything but when he did your heart dropped.

“Well kid, hows your new life, boyfriend, freedoms.” He said harshly.

“I-its fine, can I explain..” you said.

He stood up moving to the bars looking at you. “What that you stabbed me in the back yeah I got that.”

“Dont be a dick-”

“Really your gonna call me the dick?” He scoffed.

“I never meant you any harm i wanted what was best for our people.” You said softly.

He didn’t say anything, his eyes never left you but he was mad and he had every right to be. You had all of his trust, he would’ve done anything for you and you betrayed him. Everything he had done for you was thrown out the window after that stunt those 4 years were practically all for nothing.

“I know your mad at me and you have every right to be, I just wanted our people to see more the kids in the sanctuary to have more of a life beyond that, here those kids have a playground more people to become friends with.” You said, you watched as he turned around midway through you talking, he didn’t want to look at you.

You took a breath in bitting your lip to stop you self from crying, you crossed your arms holding your self in a hug.

“I haven’t seen you in a year man common say something, yell at me something anything.” You spoke in a whimper your lip trembling.

Nothing.

“Please don’t hate me.” Your tears fell down your cheeks.

“Your all i have left to family, I never thought I would call someone dad again let alone a man that actually cared for me..” you cried out your head falling down looking that the floor.

The tears continue to fall down your face making your cheeks glisten. He was your dad, maybe it was a cycle with you to make them hate you at some point.

“I don’t hate you, I don’t think I could ever bring myself to hate you.” He said quietly not turning around.

“Then why wont you look at me..” you asked not even sure if you wanted to know the answer.

He sighed deeply turning around “That better?”

You nodded not sure what to say next, things may never be the same again but you do know that is he doesn’t hate you, you didn’t have to worry about the fear of him never wanting to see you again.

[around1302]

VIII. JEALOUS pt. 2

SPARE PARTS: a series (8/20)

COLOGNE, GERMANY

(W) strong language, oral/fingering, a lil grinding, protected sex, teensy bit of choking, edging

HARRY’S POV

I a-tune my movements to the sounds of Charlie’s moans, playing to each gasp and whine as if they’re apart of a new song I’m composing.

She’s laid on the bed, body soaking the sheets below us in more ways than one, writhing between me and the linen as I work my tongue on her clit. My hands grip everywhere they can – her thighs, her stomach, her tits. God, her tits. And I try not to buck into the mattress each time she tugs on my now loose hair like that.

“Harry, shit,” I suck her clit, shifting so I can insert a finger in her. I want need her to cum at least once before I fuck her, because I know full well once I enter her sweet fucking cunt I’m not lasting long.

“Harry.”

Jesus, when she says my name. I look up through my lashes, watching her watch me. Her bottom lips between her teeth, muffling her cute little pants since Amelia’s God awful music is still blasting from next door.

In a (probably fucked up) way, I want them to hear. I know she wants this to be a secret, but God, how much I’d kill to just see their faces. So I reach up and pull her lip out from her teeth, letting my hand slide down to her throat and squeeze momentarily to let out those symphonic moans she was holding in.

BANG BANG BANG.

I stop, both of our heads whipping toward the door. I’m gasping for air, unaware I couldn’t breathe, as we realise the music’s stopped.

“Shit,” Charlie scrambles to sit up, pulling the sheet over her body. I ache to yank it back from her, but instead I’m sitting up too and jolting when someone pounds at the door again, “it’s them. They definitely heard. Oh, God.”

“Ssh,” I grip Charlie’s thigh over the thin sheet, trying to hear out for who it is.

“Harry? You in there?”

I glance at Charlie, feeling my erection only harden at the sight of her – still slightly damp from the shower, curls mussed and lips swollen. She looks so pretty like this.

I slip my hand under the sheets, toying with the prospect of getting closer. She glares at me, but I watch her mouth start to hang as I run my fingers down her slit.

Niall shouts again, “Charlie’s fuckin’ ignoring us too. Open up you asshole.”

I re-insert my index in her, pressing my finger to my lips to shush her as she gasps.

“What are you doing? They’re right outside.”

“Do you want me to stop?” I add my middle finger.

She arches. “No.”

I tug the sheet away from her, sliding her legs apart and settling between them again.

“I’m busy!” I shout back to Niall, kissing and biting her thighs as I finger her slowly. She whimpers, gripping the pillow as her head falls back and hits the top of the bed frame.

“Told you he had a girl round,” Amelia hisses, the sound travelling under the door.

Charlie clamps her own mouth as I speed up and add my tongue into the mix, wanting to edge some noise from her.

“Fine,” Niall shouts again, “but we’re going. Can you tell Charlie? She’s not answering.”

“I’ll let her know,” I surface for a second before sucking her clit; a choked moan leaving her throat. She quickly slaps her palm over her mouth, looking at me with wide eyes. I smile against her pussy, she can be so fucking funny sometimes.

I hear mumbles and whispers, and then the sound of footsteps before the ding of the elevator.

Charlie cries out.

“You dickhead,” she pants, one of her hands flying to my hair. Her fingers sink into my curls, tugging and gripping as I feel her clenching around my fingers.

“Feels like princess gets turned on by a little danger,” I replace my tongue with my thumb, sucking a hickey into her inner thigh before leaning back to watch her cum around my hand.

I don’t know how I finally managed it – but I’m so fucking glad she kissed me that night. I knew I wanted her, but fuck. I didn’t realise how badly I’d crave making her orgasm every second of every hour until we were in that damn plane and she said my name like that for the first time.

No anger, no resentment, no exhaustion. Just the way I want my name to be said for the rest of my life.

“Oh, my God,” she breathes, pulling me away from her dripping cunt. I sit up, immediately pressing my lips to hers as I pull her thighs to slide her beneath me. She gasps into my mouth, pulling my closer by the nape of my neck as we feverishly explore each other’s mouths.

She reaches between us, grabbing my cock and pulling it against her. I moan into her mouth, gripping the pillows beside her head as she rubs me against her clit.

“Charlie, careful,” I glance at her grinding my sensitive tip against her pussy, the sight alone not helping me. I squeeze my eyes shut, burying my head into her neck and kissing out my groans so I don’t embarrass myself.

“Relax,” she whispers, tightening her legs around my back, “I have the implant.”

Those four words just became my religion.

I nearly laugh onto her skin, but any amusement quickly shifts into something else as I feel her guide me into herself.

Heaven. Sweet, blissful, incredible fucking Heaven is the feel of Charlie around me.

I lift my head, reeling off the feel of her nails digging into my hips as I take the reigns and slowly push in till I can’t anymore. I gasp, taking a second to distract myself.

“Harry, move.”

“Give me a second,” I whisper. She giggles. “You think that’s funny?”

She bites her smile back, and I have to fight my own. I reach one hand down, digging my fingers into the velvet of her skin as I pull her leg further up and start to slowly thrust.

“I’ll show you fuckin’ funny,” I bite her bottom lip, kissing her (because have you kissed this girl?) while I speed up my movements.

I sit up on my knees, spreading her legs so I can snap my hips against her thighs. She throws her head back into the pillow, her nails scraping red roads down my chest as I lift her legs and hook her ankles over my shoulder. She’s so fucking wet and so fucking tight, but I feel like I have something to prove now. So I fuck her, hard.

She tilts her head, muffling her cries in the fresh quilt so I can barely hear how I’m affecting her. I lean down, gripping her throat and turning her head back so she’s forced to look up at me.

“Let me hear you,” I dig my fingers into her neck, basking in the way her puffy lips hang open and the moans spill out from her, “you sound so pretty.”

I reach down with my thumb, swiping over her clit a few times before she’s suddenly unhooking her legs and turning us over.

I fall against the mattress, breathless, still inside Charlie while she’s suddenly on top of me.

“Sit up.”

I do as I’m told, moving up the bed while gripping her waist to keep her there. She holds on to the headboard behind me, starting to roll her hips against mine. I sigh, tilting my head back and to the side so I can kiss her pulse point.

“Look at me,” she demands, and I have to say that whatever flicker of dominance she’s switched on is turning me the fuck on.

So I look at her, and fuck is Charlie Greene riding me something that should be hung in the Louvre. My heavy eyes laser in on her hips, her torso, her face. The way her tattoos move with her, the way her hair flips to the side as she throws her head back and calls out my name. My name. The way her tits are just… fuck, my God.

I sit forward, wrapping my arms around her back and forcing her arms to drap around mine as I take her nipple into my mouth, dragging each one between my teeth before sucking and biting to mark the smooth flesh that surrounds them.

The room is a filthy soundboard of our groans and moans, of skin against skin, of desperation riding need. I move her against me, now, tightening my hold around her to take control. I feel her thighs loosen around me as she lets me, and as much as I know I’m close, I’m itching to watch her cum again.

Keeping one arm wrapped around her, gliding her against me, I rub her clit with my other and start to feel that familiar clench; this time around my cock, making it so much harder for me to–

“Why’d you stop?”

I swipe my thumb over her clit once, making her jolt.

“You close?”

“I mean, I was–”

“Good,” I nip at her collarbone, starting to grind her against me again, “tell me when you get close again.”

“Why? You’re so… okay,” she caves, her head falling to my shoulder as I rub her clit and move her on my cock. She kisses my skin, every inch she can reach with her lips, tracing her nails over the parts she can’t. Her touch drives me fucking crazy.

“I’m close, shit, Harry, I’m so close. Don’t stop.”

So what do I do?

She groans, lifting her head to meet my eye.

“Harry,” she whines, trying to move her hips. Unfortunately for her, I’m stronger than her. “Please.” She whimpers.

I like the sound of that.

“Again.”

“What?” She pants, trying stupidly again to move. I hold her waist in place, flipping us over so she can’t try it again. She huffs, reaching between us to try and rub her own clit – so I grab her wrist.

“I’m not convinced you want to cum.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

I love winding her up.

“Yeah,” I start to pull out, but she grabs my hips, “oh. Do you want to cum?”

“Stop being a cunt, Harry.”

“What was that word you used earlier? I loved that word you used earlier.”

I poke my tongue in my cheek as I watch the cogs starting to turn. She moves her hands to the nape of my neck, her fingers raking a path through my hair, making me want to kiss her.

“Please.” She barely whispers.

“What was that?” I start to thrust my hips again, painfully slowly. I lift her thighs around me, trailing one hand up to the sheets next to her and the other back to her clit.

She gasps, those brown eyes never leaving mine.

“Please.” She’s a little louder this time.

“Come on, princess. I know you can do better than that.”

I rub her clit, making her arch.

“Please.”

“That’s better,” I hardly finish my sentence before I’m kissing her and fucking her into the mattress. We moan into one another’s mouths, the kiss quickly becoming sloppy and at this point just our lips acting as a tunnel for our groans, but I don’t care.

I’m so fucking close, so I speed up my hand until I feel her clench and then I release. I try and keep up my movements as much as I can as I cum, but it’s hard because shit. I bury my head into her neck, using her skin to muffle my cries as I grip the sheets and her till my knuckles painfully blanch.

I feel her cunt pulsing around me, only making the mind-numbing, static technicolour burst in my gut harder. Charlie moans into my ear, her nails digging into my back till I’m sure she draws blood, but I don’t give a shit. She could stab me right now and I don’t think it would puncture my ecstasy.

I stay in her for as long as possible, till I’m rolling over and collapsing onto my back. We both lay there, staring at the hotel ceiling, our breathless pants filling the suddenly silent room. I don’t remember it being this dark, or quiet, or small.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

It takes me a second to recover my vision before I realise I need to clean Charlie up, so I grip the edge of the mattress and pull myself to my feet. I find some boxers from my messily unpacked suitcase and walk into them as I find my way back to the bathroom.

I’m greeted with a shower I’ll never be able to use the same again.

I find a fresh towel, dampening it as dreary clarity starts to make its way back to me and I realise in a few minutes Charlie will leave and I’ll be here. In the bed. Alone. Dark, quiet, small.

When I return to the room, she’s still on her back, one forearm across her forehead and the other on her stomach. I try not to stare at the curve of her knee or the sharpness of her elbow as I ease myself beside her, making her jump.

“Just cleaning you up,” I explain, holding up the towel. She nods, resting her head back onto the pillow. She looks… distant. Worn out, but not quite here. I frown a little as I study her face, mouth opening to ask what’s wrong but not quite knowing if that was in the fine print of our agreement.

Gently as I can, I clean her up. Quietly apologising every time she twitches. I take the towel back to the bathroom and pick up her clothes on the way back, laying them out on the bed.

“Suppose I should go, now.”

You don’t have to.

“Yeah.”

I pretend not to notice how glassy her eyes are as she sits up and starts to dress. I turn away, pretending to be busy in the bathroom. I flick the light on and close the door to give her some privacy, and can’t help but stare at my new appearance in the mirror.

Marks and bruises and scratches litter the gaps between my tattoos, from her. My hair, a knotty mess where her fingers tugged and brushed. My lips swollen with the ghost of hers and the taste of her still fresh on the tip of my tongue. As I look in the mirror, I don’t see me. She’s everywhere. She’s–

I jump at the sudden slam of the door, my heart dropping as my first thought is someone somehow got in. I rip the bathroom door open, the whoosh of it spreading a cold shiver down my torso as I realise no one came in.

She left.

taglist: @lilfreakjez @be-with-me-so-happily @sirtommyholland @tpwksm @b-reads-things

[9cl]

Here are six+ songs that i've been loving and living daily trying my best not to let it seep into a permanent state of ennui. Some songs that make my heart move more than others or just otherwise songs that are extremely special to me emotionally. Thankyou for the tag @silic0n0asis <3💭 i might do more than six But i think thats allowed

1. Just posted lyrics to a song by this artist. Im linking it below. and it really makes me so sad and melancholic but also just makes me feel so excited. It's the right mix. I'll add another one i'm thinking of right after this one

2. This one is just plain wonderful. it brings back this intense wistful joy it smells like fresh laundy on a rainy day. An intense feeling of belonging. A love for the life that surrounded me. a really crazy headrush joy that reminds me of surfing Satellite tv for the first time in my life. Satellites and satellite dishes became extrenely important to me. Something about being able to escape and enter an unknown parallel world. Moving somewhere not knowing when it'll stop and not caring. At least visually during this era (2020) satellites were like a source of comfort for me, like being hooked up to a big wired world that i could manipulate through my little terminal

3. This song just feels like a lovesick midnight. In almost point black-blue darkness w/ visual snow clouding your entire surroundings. Just sitting there gleeful and enjoying the present. Something that nobody can take you out of during that moment

4. Well this song is just plain wistful to me. A lot of what the music i listen to depends on is the emotional and mental context during which i experienced it. sure music can suggest something to me but mainly it's the feelings i felt during that specific moment that resurface when i hear the music i hear. New things can be good as well as bad. The context can be shifted completely and reformatted and reframed. this one specifically i listened to a lot while running outside. It reminds me of feelings of inadequacy and futility. Nothing good but also nothing too bad. I love this song a lot though. Mark's vocals shine through here

5. Another song from around 2021. This is just perfection in a song. it makes me feel Freaking Cool... i love the dissonances when the keys go too far up around midway through the song. This whole album realy is just filled with song after song of just the most relaxing beautiful improvisational stuff ever listen to it you will not be let down. The opening track is also gorgeous

6. The only r stevie moore song i can really lidten to all the way through. i'm not a hater or anything it's just the only one that has fossilized itself into my consciousness. It's extremely meaningful to me. The chords are beautiful and so sweet. Stevie moore is the bomb... Incredible guitar work. i would love to learn it on the guitar when i get my new strings. Strongest memory from this song is riding around outside on my bike in the rainy thick foggy cloudy hot humid weather and falling multiple times and not really caring that much

7. This song is, i think, The Best Shit Brian Wilson Ever Came Up With, maybe toe to toe with I Just Wasn't Made For These Times, i dont really have much to say about this song the arrengements and the lyrics are beautiful. Brian's vocals are one of a kind and his falsetto is amazing here. The solemn piano part is just gorgeous. Surf's up hmm hmmm hm hmmm hm hmmmmm...

8. One of my most favorite Oli XL tracks ever:) #FREEOLI btw They need to get an album out ASAP

9. yyyyYYYEESSSSS OHHH MYYYY GOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!! Supersaw heaven

10. ! ! ! :):):) Like a rave in a coven i guess. felicita is fucking awesome. This version of coughing up pearls is beautiful

11. This whole album is some of the most great electronic shit to ever happen ever. not to cheat but im doing 2 here: these cuts specifically are a highlight for me although Romance Frog and Alcoholic are both amazing amazing tracks from this same thing. Gobby's hyperprocessed vocals are a huge inspiration. i fuck with the random Lifetime Discovery TLC samples all throughout

O.K. Thats it i nominate @thesentdowngirl @foodandfriends @kissyouallaway @bish0ps @dog5504 Your turn now if u want:-)

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 27/04/2024

The Streamer

Season 6 No Album Release (Read More) The Entertainer - Taiko no Tatsujin: Drum 'n' Fun

Ripper Unknown

I'll admit - maybe declaring Season 8 as being the YEAR OF THE MEAT !!! back in ICastHaste encounters a wild Chicabo was...a bit rash. Meatposting has definitely slowed down a fair bit recently, and there's a lot of other new channel jokes getting well-deserved spotlight over it. And really, I Show The Meat always had a bit of an unfair advantage as a channel meme - because its a bit built on a streamer whose presence online is so huge, it had wormed its way into rips as far back as 2022. IShowSpeed is far more than just his meat, and The Streamer is perhaps to date still the funniest rip to date that he's starred in.

Now, yes, The Streamer wasn't the first rip to use Speed on the channel (even though I made that mistake earlier!!), but it WAS the first Speed rip to truly stick with me, the first one that truly checked every box for me. Granted, I am very biased toward YTPMVs using stupid sources, I think my affection for Going Somewhere Jerma?, Mr. PACs ~ Obamjo-Roomnie, Crompton Racing and more has made that all-too-apparent, but...The Streamer just feels like the most perfect distillation of Speed you could put into a rip. I mentioned in ICastHaste encounters a wild Chicabo that it was the Talking Ben stream that made me aware of the guy's antics, and the way this rip plays out leverages that whole stream all too perfectly in so many ways, althewhile being paired to the most classic of classic shenanigans music in The Entertainer. The buildup to the song's start may honestly be the funniest part of the whole rip, the piano roll leading into the main melody is accompanied by a clip of Speed just chatting shit about Ben - then with the perfect comedic timing of being shushed to him, Speed's iconic rage is unleashed and the rip - and The Entertainer's melody in tow - kick into gear. The sheer juxtaposition from second one to second five of the rip is just fucking hilarious, and its juxtaposition that keeps the rip entertaining throughout, through the contrast in Speed's YTPMV-mixed rage and the outright whimsy of the piano music backing it all.

That contrast is funny in its own right, it's a lot like what I described My Dr. Eggman Can't Be This Evil! as doing well, but The Streamer goes through another phase to play off of The Entertainer's second half. Speed stops being YTPMV'd into the melody, instead being used through mashing up the song with his own original release Bounce That A$$ - althewhile Talking Ben's own voice clips become used for the YTPMVing. As a self-admitted IShowSpeed tourist I obviously have very little connection or knowledge of Bounce that A$$, but its presence here hardly hurts the rip, it's an incredibly welcome shake-up (hehe) that allows Ben's own voice clips to enter the rip really seamlessly. And what I love is that the rip pretends to loop right after this section, when the most recognizable part of The Entertainer's melody return and its covered much the same as the beginning of the rip - only now, Talking Ben's "Yeees?" and "Ughh"-s are added to the song's backing, almost like a bassline to the same melody played at the start. In less than a minute's time it makes the rip really come full circle, and after one more Bounce That A$$ section, it finally loops proper, ending with a completely different left-field Speed reaction that I shan't spoil, but caps the rip off perfectly for a second loop.

What a journey to go through it all step-by-step, huh? And again - this was the FIRST IShowSpeed rip on the channel, yet it still managed to craft an absolutely hilarious rollercoaster ride in just under 80 seconds of runtime. We ALL know The Entertainer and have heard it set to many a silly clips already, many of us were likely already laughing our asses off at the Speed clips being shared around back in 2022 - The Streamer, much like Bowser is Coming., is like a perfect rip, the absolute ideal way to introduce depict Speed on the channel - and its damn criminal that I don't know who to thank for making it. It's the kind of rip that can just always make me smile, the way that even through the YTPMVing you can still hear what profanities Speed is throwing out at Ben, the way the visuals in both sections are just filled with such pure chaos versus how The Entertainer is chugging along at its own steady pace, the aforementioned BEN BASSLINE????

Look, I'm still a soldier for I Show The Meat to the bitter end - but to make the perfect meatpost, a la i show rottytops my meat (Consensually) mentioned at the end of ICastHaste encounters a wild Chicabo - one must have a perfect understanding of how to leverage Speed himself in rips. All of that training and knowledge stems from a source - from The Streamer executing the bit so fucking perfectly two whole years ago. Meat or not, Speedposting has become a true artform on SiIva, and I cannot wait to see where it ends up going as we get further in the season.

[bugcatcherwill]

if the monsters [the main/first four at least] had theme music what do you think it would be like,,, asking because I only compose once in a BLUE MOON and I need ideas so I can make songs for them WITH your permission ☝️

OOOOOOOOOO this is a good one hmmmmmmmmmm

Kobb's theme music would be what I call "protest/revolution music" like shit from the Vietnam War era and the early 00's Green Day/MCR. Just that vindictive, angry music of the system and just playing their feelings out when faced with near-hopeless situations against infinitely powerful entities.

This might be a sneak peak into what I have planned for the 5-year time gap between BoTW and ToTK, but if I had to make a "theme song" for that period it'd be "Holiday" by Green Day (ESPECIALLY THE LYRICS "the ones who died without a name" BECAUSE IT'S LIKE ALL THE MONSTERS THAT WERE LOST TO THE MALICE FOREVER AAAAAAAAA)

Sledge is sea shanties. Like, I can't really think of a better music style for its whole arc. It's the reminiscing of how things could've been, it's the melancholy memories of those who are no longer there, it's the isolation of the sea, it's the finding the small joys in those around you, it's the being stuffed in a small spot but never feeling cramped, IT'S SEA SHANTIES BABYYYYYYY

I don't have a specific song for Sledge, but just that minimalistic and/or vocals only shanty/folk song that works best. Funny enough when writing some chapters I occasionally put on like 3-hour sea shanty mixes from YouTube jhkajsdfhjl

Zayl to me is extremely Pink Floyd core (psychedelic rock in general but especially the band). Zayl is such an interesting character because from anyone first meeting it, it's this extremely chill down-to-earth monster that looks like it's never had a worry in its life. But then you scratch the surface and find that while its personality isn't a front, it's been dealt SO MUCH pain and anguish that you wonder how it can still be smiling. And then you have the musical contrast that PF does when it goes from ethereal to whimsical to gritty and harsh, and how Zayl whenever it enters combat seems to become a completely different monster with how it shuts down and locks in. Like it tries the hardest out of all of them not to let remnants of its old life leak out, but when they do it's more obvious than any of them.

If you have 17 minutes of free time, PLEASE listen to Dogs by PF. It's such a good song and I cannot get enough of the lyrics about working yourself to the bone, stepping over anyone in your way, all to please those above you, only to get discarded, betrayed, and tossed away when you've outlived your usefulness. It's one of THE allegories that inspired how I wrote the Malice in RaTC

Rezek is 100% fast-paced rock/metal. Shit that comes to mind for me is like Offspring, MUSE, Megadeth, etc. Probably its most famous moment where it goes toe-to-toe with the whole Wizzrobe army in the chapter "Reapers and Hawks" is a direct callback to the song "Reapers" by MUSE (and naysayers will call Drones bad and MUSE's worst album which it ISN'T but this isn't the place for me to rant about that lol)

It just fits its fighting style too well. I just love that I gave it this frantic almost manic style to contrast its more uppity nature than the rest of the monsters. Perhaps it gets a little too into the magic but you can't argue with results.

I hope this was the answer you're looking for! I have very old-people taste in music thanks to my parents giving me Dark Side of the Moon in middle school jhalfdjhk

One day I'll make a playlist of every song that helped inspire me to write RaTC and all the songs I have imaginary music videos of my blorbos dancing in my head,,,

[jackalopes-pen]

Phone calls

Summary: Michael has been dead for a year now, and Pete is struggling with the death of his friend. He copes by leaving him voicemails, however he feels a wave or shock when someone returns his call.

Fandom: South Park ( aged up) | Goth kids (Henrietta Biggle, Pete Thelman, Firkle Smith, Michael ... Tall one)

A/N: First time writing south park fanfic! Lemme know if it is shitty or not, really trying figure out how to write these characters before I get a larger project under way.

Word Count: 1,281

Pete was well aware that this was not very goth. To leave voicemails on his friend's number that would never be heard was so stupid. He still did it, though. Still scrolled down to Michael's name and called waiting for the answering machine just to hear his voice. He still left some update on their lives and how the world still turned without him. He told answering machine about how that song he wrote hit the top 10. He told the machine that they were gaining popularity as a goth band, and that the name he suggested was the one they signed with. Sometimes he just cried after the tone, unable to process.

Today was so much worse then other days. Today it had been one full year since he died. He died to someone else's hand in a hate crime not even to his own. His tombstone read that he was a 'great daughter'. Fucking bigots. Pete kneeled down to the stone, and put a tapped note over daughter, reading now "A great son, friend, and unfortunate martyr." He would have apricated that, right? Pete stood back, on the path staring at the grave. He put the phone to his ear, staring down the flowers of someone who was supposed to answer.

One ring, two rings, three...

"Hey. This is Michael, I'm kinda busy so leave your name I'll consider getting back to you. Unless you're a conformist." the recording stopped with a tone. Leave a message... another message.

"Hey Michael, it's Pete. Just wanted to let you know that I came back to visit you," Pete could hear his voice breaking as he continued "Tried to fix that stupid mistake on your stone. Those conformists can't even let you rest in peace? They really are assholes. Anyway, call me back when you can. I miss you."

Pete slipped the phone back in his pocket. He wanted to stay at that grave for an eternity and hope something would change. It wouldn't though, he knew that. He talked himself into leaving, going to his car and driving to his shared apartment with Henrietta and Firkle. They'd probably get onto him for this and tell him to move on. It's hard to move on damn it. Give him time.. or more time.

"Hey, I'm back." Pete said as he entered their apartment.

"Went to visit him?" Henrietta said from the couch, writing something in her journal.

"Yeah, if you're gonna give me shit can you save it til tomorrow?" Pete responded, flopping down the couch beside her.

"Not today. I know it's hard and all. If this is how you handle it, then so be it." Henrietta said, clearly more focused on her lyrics.

"It's almost poser-ish is what it is," Firkle said emerging from his room with drum sticks in hand. "He's gone, let it go."

"It's easy for you to say! We were close, and I just-" Pete stopped his rebuttal when his phone rang in his pocket. He took it out and froze as he saw the caller.

"What's up with you?" Henrietta said, suddenly perking up.

"He's.. he's calling me back." Pete said, some mix of happiness and confusion and fear all churning in his stomach.

'Well, answer it!" Firkle said impatiently.

Pete did just that. He swiped to answer the call and quickly put it on speaker. He set the phone down on the coffee table, almost scared to hold it in case it was a dream or something. They all waited in silence, for whatever was on the other end of the call.

"Hey Pete, sorry I couldn't answer earlier. Whatever though. I'm at the good CVS on fifth, you need anything?" It was Michael's voice, loud and clear. The sounds of shitty drug store music were barely audible through the phone. It was him.. it had to be. "Hello? Are you about blast a chord again?"

"No, no. I'm here. How- uh... how are you?" It was pathetic but it was all Pete could muster. He wanted to say a million things to him, but couldn't find the words for any of it.

"Uh.. could be better, could be worse. You good, red? You sound like you're talking to a ghost." Hearing that old nickname was enough to break him a little on the inside. Only Michael called him that, and he still was calling him that.

"I'm- I'm good. Do you mind being on speaker? We're all here, about to start writing."

"Nah, I don't mind. Glad the band took off though, that's pretty fucking impressive."

"Your song helped us out a lot, I wish you could've written more." Henrietta finally spoke up.

"Yeah, you know.. not really my decision about the whole thing. I did hear you guys used my name idea. I thought it was pretty bad but, I guess if it works." Pete was so confused at this point. He seemed to know he was gone, but here he was on the phone. Pete almost wanted to run to the CVS and look for him, even though he'd probably find nothing.

"Hey, while you're there.. can you pick up some of those gummy bears? We're running low." Firkle said, tentatively. He was trying to play into the daydream.. maybe Pete should. Maybe this was the casual conversion they never got to have. That last talk.

"Sure, kid. Anything else? Hen, you still like those chocolate pretzel things right?"

"Yeah- yeah. I can pay you back for them." Henrietta was close to tears. It was rare that he called even them their actual names to their faces. These old nicknames.. it hurt to hear them again.

"You don't have to. Red, you?"

"Oh, can you see if they have Marlboro? I'm on my last pack." Pete felt the lump in throat grow. It was such a normal conversation, with a dead man.

"Sure, yeah. Okay, well I'll see you guys whenever. And, red?"

"Yeah?" Pete's voice broke on the ending constant.

His tone was suddenly solemn. "I miss you too, I miss all of you and I wish I was there. Thanks for the voicemails, I might try to leave you some."

The call was hung up. The silence was deafening, as they stared at Pete's phone until it turned to a black screen. It only reflected the popcorn ceiling of their apartment. In some ways, it was a relief to know he wanted to be here and in others a pull to Pete's heart that he wasn't. This could have been their everyday.

But it wasn't, and it never would be.

About 15 minutes later, the doorbell rang Pete almost prayed it was him but, it was just a CVS bag of what they asked for. One bag of gummies, chocolate pretzels, cigarettes, and a bag of the coffee that he used to brew before writing. Of course he'd pick that up, it was a writing session right? Pete noticed on the receipt, paid for with Michael's card, something else they asked for: more writing.

It was a complete song, and a that moment Pete was so glad CVS had insanely long receipts. It was a song about loss, comparing the death to crow that continued to follow the singer. The song went through the 5 stages as it continued, ending in accepting the crows presence.

It would take more time and thought then some lyric's on a CVS receipt, but Pete knew a hint when saw it. He picked up his guitar, and made a promise with it. This is honoring the death, because it did happen. It would only get easier to admit it, every time he played.

[nicky999doors]

notes on impish behavior below ...

it’s a long post but if you’re interested in how these songs came about this is it! 

track 1 is a horny song about wanting someone to devote themselves to you in the way that you have already done for them. images of a medieval king riding a porche into a downtrodden village in the middle of the night to meet someone was such a vision for this song. directly inspired by link up by tinashe. 

track 2 is me learning how to harmonize in my own way, this is quite literally about my ex-boyfriend and how being a forgiving person can sometimes put you in a worse situation. inspired by charli xcx and the song gory love by casablancas. 

track 3 is something i kind of wrote for my best friend, we both feel similarly about entering relationships and how we are always waiting to be tricked. inspired loosely by hyperpop, the idea of a hi hat being mischievous, build a bitch by bella poarch bass and i love a heavy bass drop. track 4 is quite literally about having sex with a werewolf. allowing yourself to open up sexually. learning how to hold control and how to give it as well. inspired by truffle butter by nicki minaj, in my pocket by mandy moore and probably fanfiction. 

track 5 is literally another horny song. when you’ve had a taste of someone and you literally can’t think about anything else but getting another. sonically this is  like me trying to mix hyperpop clanging and mechanical sounds with something by the band spoon. hence the bass guitar and the organic hand claps. the organic with the mechanic.  track 6 is a major diss track to LA and the guy i dated at the beginning of the year. track 5 is also about him lmao, he clearly ruffled my feathers. i say some not so nice things on this track but they’re also the truth so do with that what you will. majorly inspired by blink182 with guitars and the vocals and big sean for lyrical content and feeling like hot shit vibes. 

track 7 is my cinematic jammm. this song is about making a pledge to stay alive no matter what anyone does to you. losing hope and getting to your rock bottom to realize you can climb out. you will not be stuck there. you actually refuse to be stuck there. sonically i’m not sure where this came from but those horns are supposed to sound like a medieval firing squad. i knew i had something when i started getting those kick drums to glitch. 

track 8 is an anxiety attack. it’s crawling out of the pit of hell only to realize that you have to pick up a sword and start fighting for your life. it’s about realizing you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. you’re also way stronger than that wimp ass ex-boyfriend of yours. inspired by every anxiety attack i’ve ever had but i think also 100 gecs??   track 9 is my demonic hip hop shit. this one is supposed to have a boss battle type energy to it, probably inspired by literal video games. It’s a lament on once being trapped and left alone, but here to stay. you can hear my producer tag clearly for the first time on this one, and it’s supposed to show that i’m not afraid of the dark anymore. 

track 10 is something i put my whole boy pussy into tbh. this is the most emotional track i think i’ve ever made and also the longest song i’ve ever made. this is my epic about betrayal and hating loving someone who constantly disappoints you. ethel cain’s music gave me the courage to make this track.

track 11 is my last statement and my diss track to anyone who thinks they can do or say whatever they want to me because they’ve deemed me attractive. i think i just got so sick of feeling misunderstood at the time and i talking to people who weren't treating me as a human (whether in a good or bad way) someone said it gives them fall out boy vibes but honestly i can’t even say who inspired it, maybe also capri songs by fka and ty dolla sign there are a bunch of different ways to read the album, i kinda also have a story behind the whole thing and some things i’ve envisioned (i’ve touched on some concepts in my promo art) but this is like--- the truth. this is the way and reason the songs were made and where i pulled from. i got to reference a lot of things i love on this album. it’s not perfect but it’s how i wanted. 

[so2uv]

☆★ sol's review of jj's radio show !!

for @junjiie's eyes only. listened to this stuff for the first time on friday and then listened again to write reviews so the downside is that im eepy while doing this-

chocolate / kylie minogue : i fuck with this ngl. it's chill. idk how many times i can listen to her voice before having to remove the song from my playlist though TwT breathy singers aren't my fave... also im sorry the way she said chocolate had me crying- 50/50 on how much i like it bc it'll depend what mood im in i suppose

the desolation tango / tv girl : funky start jump scared me a bit 😭 but i like it!! the little key melody in between the singing is cute and the song gives me cozy vibes. added to my study playlist lol kfdjh

artificial love / exo : have not actually listened to this song before- have not had the time to watch the fancam you sent me yet but... it's cool!! when they harmonize on "artificial love" im about to roll around on the ground and kick my feet and bite my fist and and.

10 minutes / lee hyori : beyonce esc was my first thought and stuck with me all the way through for the song. the little funky beat at 1:31 is interesting and i like the way it broke the song up so not everything is monotone. quite liked this one!!! heheh

bland new / soul scream : girlie... 6:18 for a song... appreciate me sitting through this- /j nah you're right it's pretty good. i like calmer rap if that makes sense idk words are leaving my brain like im not literate enough for this but the beat is nice and it's not too fast past. gives more old school rap style where it wasn't as focused on the speed of the words. pretty good for rap imo

monster zero / king geedorah : ... jump scare crying i straightened when the song started so fast there was a crack in my spine 😟😭 audio collages are so cool though... kind of loving this. wouldn't listen to it on a regular playlist bc it's an audio collage and i prefer um idk a better word but put together songs?? that sounds mean. im not trying to be mean help. erm yeah but it's cool and i'd totally listen to this on the bus or when walking alone!!! love the vibes of it

vervain / mf doom : instrumentals are so cool but same kind of listening thing as monster zero: don't really put those on playlists too much. i really liked this one though :DD maybe bc it's late at night & more toned down beats are nicer but it's a chaotic sort of peace to the music which is smth i like here.

enter galactic / kid cudi : "i once used to dream so sweet // until i had a taste of you" ayo??? the bars??? fucking love that line. space themed songs around metaphors are coolio heh. kid cudi slayed this one; i really like this one too!!

freelance / toro y moi : i can't really with the beginning... not a fan of the gagging like effects D: but i see what you mean with the jerky and broken up style! they do it well

pretzel / nct dream : this song 😭 reminds you 😭 of me??? 😭 consider me flattered. i don't actually like too many of nct's songs ngl but this one is p cool!! vibing with the switch from funky and kind of jerky to the vocals for the pre-chorus -> chorus. adding to playlist

happiness / red velvet : ok the beginning switch up had me go eyes wide im too eepy for this listening sesh sorry 🙁 red velvet slaps though this song is quite nice and i vibe. i like the style and the mix up of smooth with kind of jerky and broken up bits. you have a theme i see with songs you like 👁️ keeping that in mind next time i recommend you smth. also putting this on my playlist in the morning... hope i don't forget lmfao-

freak like me / sugarbabes : ok ok i see you with this. the blend at 2:18 was done so well im crying the switch was nicely put and isn't too obvious but just noticeable enough to where you go "oh shit" in a good way. another playlist add on bc tehe would totally listen to this more.

and that concludes sol's reviewing corner!! hope you enjoyed and um. if i missed any songs bc of the fact that my inbox is congested and i missed one when scrolling through the stuff you sent... erm don't mention it :DD overall, very nice picks. wish i was literate enough to give good replies to this but tis the life of a night owl fdkjgh

[arcadialedger]

omg omg tell me more!

Okay, so…

I grew up in the Connecticut suburbs, not far from the casinos. And my sister and I were huge fans of TS’s debut album. We would insist on my parents playing it in the car and belt out the sassiest rendition of Picture to Burn you ever did hear. So, when we found out she was playing as opening act for Rascal Flatts (my parents are die hard country music fans so yes, I knew who Rascal Flatts was at age 7), we begged our parents to get tickets. We called and called, and eventually we lucked out.

About a week before the concert, we went to our local Walmart and bought TS shirts, and when the time of the concert came we showed up in cowgirl boots/ hats and our new shirts. Little did we know how much this would pay off.

So, we get to the venue early, and we see that there’s a raffle going on to get backstage tickets to meet TS, so we get in line to enter because we have time to kill. Over the speaker, they announce there’ll be two more tickets for backstage chosen in the raffle because a couple who won them over the radio couldn’t make it to the venue/ show. Well, one of the guys running the raffle sees my sister and I decked out in our country Taylor Swift getups, and walks up, pulls us aside with our parents, and asks

“How would you like to meet Taylor Swift?”

My sister and I (I am 7, she is 9), are speechless, and just squeak out “yes!”, while my parents are incredibly skeptical that this man is messing with us. Still, they follow as he leads us backstage. When we get to the room where TS is, they’re not allowed in, and they deadass almost don’t let us go, thinking this guy is trying to kidnap us. But the door cracks open as the previous raffle winner walks out and they see TS is genuinely in there, so they let us go in.

It’s all kind of a blur. She hugged us and took the picture attached in my previous post. She was very nice and very tall. My sister, who is also named Taylor, informed her that her name was also Taylor and TS was like “NO WAY! That’s so cool”.

Then they let us go and pick out the next raffle winner after our time was up, and my sister PULLED OUT HER OWN NAME from when we had entered. It was too funny.

So yeah. Then it was about time to get our seats and that was that. TS was amazing, and we left halfway through Rascal Flatts cause the sound was way too loud and not mixed well with the vocals and they kind of sucked. TS was so energetic and commanded the stage though, and did a badass rendition of Should’ve Said No while dramatically playing a giant steel drum that I’ll never forget because that song was my SHIT when I was 7.

And that’s the saga of how I met Taylor Swift when she was opening act and only had one album out! My sister and I have been Swifties from the very begging, and now she’s going to the Eras Tour this month!

[theantarwitch]

Mahō Tsukai no Yome/ The Ancient Magus Bride: When an anime show witchcraft in the good way.

I will slide a little of my usual crap for this time. 

“The humanity still remembers the sounds that filled their bodies even before than language. The Magic is the same. Listen what’s around you and extend your hand, you still remember…”

Besides being a witch, I’m also pretty much a mild otaku (I take baths, I swear), so when I was looking for what else to watch, I stumble with this one. The resume I read looked not too good for my taste, but I thought “Well, it have a witch theme, let’s give it a try” and OH BOY WHY IN THE WITCH COMMUNITY THEY DON’T MENTION THIS SERIE AS A MUST TO WATCH?

I will not enter in details about how the characters are made or the music (even when I will mention that the art is visually BEAUTIFUL and the songs will make you cry a dozen times, because yes, you will cry a ton) and I will focus this review with the witch side.

First, I can tell you that a good percentage of the magical lore is pretty ACCURATE. From creatures, myths, material, ingredients, techniques, all. IS WAY TOO ACCURATE, it let me think that the writer has a witch near to learn about these shits. It doesn’t fall into the “lol I can make magic haha let’s open a portal and will have no logical reason and I will not even get tired”, is a “witchcraft is a craft and you need to study, practice and follow some principles, plus rest after do it”. Fuck hell, a lot of times is teaching us to not underestimate ourself and learn, but also to not do stupid things if you don’t know a shit. Plus each chapter start with a “folk proverb”, which add a pretty touch to the theme.

It mentions fairies, with her “real” rules we usually know. It teaches us to differentiate between witchcraft and mages, speaks about the ancient lore of England, Celtic culture and even Nordic songs (maybe? Is nothing official but have Nordic words and Gaelic music so lol?), the Wandering Jew, alchemy, yule, herbs, Morrigan, the church grim, hag stones, fluorite, types of wood, wyverns, familiars, wands, crystals, charging, witches, covens, crafting, fatuos, sacrifices, selkies, elves … Damn, even in some point she makes a spell against nightmares with lavender, like YES!!.

The characters speak also a lot of the witch “spirit”, you know, the respect for the naturel, the elements, the way we use magic, all the spiritual thing that cross us, the interconnectivity of the world, in such delicate and beautiful way that make you re watch your own witchy path with fresh eyes. The majority of the teachings that the “wiser” characters say, seems not even to being directed to the protagonist, but to OURSELVES. They are teaching US.

“Underestimating oneself, as if you were disposable, is like saying that those one has saved are useless”

In some point a fairy mention to a priest that he adores “another god” as if all the deities of the world exist at the same time, you know, as we all know here!

Elias, the character, is by himself a mix of stuffs! He usually wear a veil to not scare others but, we know to what else a mage would use a veil, right? He also carries a cane that bears a resemblance with the Egyptian Was scepter. His face is very similar to what we know as the “goat face” or the head of Baphomet.

And anyone who ever has or have a Patron will probably say that Elias, in some points, remember us about them. By the energy, the mysterious way to speak and act, by the strange love that come from beings that are beyond our comprehension.

Besides all that, the story is phenomenal and touch death in so many artistic ways that is almost a thesis of the process of life and death. Death as a natural path where everyone will fall, death as a tragedy, death as a process, death as a rule, death as a memory, a trauma, a lost, a desire, death as a body, death as a soul.

Not even mention how, in a subtle way, show us about PTSD, suicide and depression, how slowly heal from traumatic events, how grow and take healthy coping mechanisms; how a person under a traumatic past can get numb to the point that everything seems bland and pointless, about codependency, grief, move on. Is a book about psychology and witchcraft with pretty stuffs in the middle.

“You think that by destroying yourself you will earn the right to stay here”

A huge NOPE: It have a hint of Antisemitism. The main bad character is the Wandering Jew, and one of the “good” ones is a German scientist called Adolf Straud. Meanwhile, IRL existed Adolf Strauss, a German general from the Nazis. Like… I’m not saying is the same but… * cringes *

Of course, is not a manual, is an anime, it has a lot of nopes and mixed shit and stuffs that are obviously not accurate or right, but coming from a popular media, I think any witch with some basic experience and an open mind should take a look to this anime. With a small tw because it can fall a little into the gore and horror. But next to the usual Hollywood movies where witchcraft is more a show or the source of the darkness in a scary movie, is pretty good.

[sys128]

Senioritis, Productivity with Music, and Ignorance is Bliss

I have been warned of something that is inevitable to form in some student as they enter their last year of high school. I had a teacher call it “senioritis.” (Looking it up, it does seem to be a common term to describe it.) This is characterized by the lack of motivation to do school work once they are nearing the end of high school. From looking this up, they say it extends to college, and even post-graduates! So, us teens are not alone in these situations. I think I am starting to feel a little bit of this myself. At this point, I have already been accepted into college and only have one class to pass, which even then gives easy points, and then I can just move on from high school. Though, there is a rising worry about how my grades will end up being affected if I do start slacking off more than I should.

I believe that taking breaks from work can be a great thing, just so long as it is done in moderation. The problem for me is that once I am on a break, it never seems to end. That, I have found, is probably the worst thing about my productivity: my proneness to extended breaks. When it comes to senioritis, that makes me more of a vulnerable person to target. The only way to defend myself that’s been tried and worked is putting on music.

Music works like magic! If I got stuff playing the background, then I get a lot more done that I could before. There is a strange part to it though, but I think I got that figured out too. What I have noticed is that I get less distracted with certain types of music. I have found a couple of aspects that increase my productivity when I have it playing.

The music has to have little to no vocals. Period. I say little because it can just be short samples like “Hoo!” and “Yeah!” That’s fine, but if there is enough to form a necessary lyrics sheet about it, that is when I call it.

The theme of the mix the music is a part of has to fit in at least decently with the rest of the mix. Some genres are able to do this quite well while others do not. I have found that things like pop are horrible at this, especially because many of the prominent artists have their own singing styles (which also means lyrics. Aaah!!!!!), and sometimes their own ways of making beats. I think it’s mostly their singing though. Since they are extremely popular, you would be BOUND to recognize at least one voice.

I must not recognize who wrote the song, how long it is, or its composition. At all. Despite my attempts to minimize my memory of it, I still did manage to commit some of the songs I have heard to memory, and end up picking out the samples that they used the next time I listened to it. This doesn’t create much distraction, but to have this minimized would be a good practice for me.

For some bonus points, the music also may not be attached to any specific person that was directly involved in the creation of the content or similar content. If you REALLY wanna be hardcore about, you could attempt to remove the idea that people even made that content to begin with, like leaving the content on its own, as if it just materialized one day. I have found that this keeps the magic in things that I enjoy. This stems from what we call “childhood magic,” where mystery seemed to make things more fun and enjoyable. I think this was because ignorance was bliss. This was also probably the reason why childhood was simpler than adulthood is now, but that is beside the point.

This one is also more of a personal preference, but I also want some integral part of the song itself to bring a sense of calmness or peace. Ambience is VERY good, PERFECT even, at bringing this experience. It is able to paint a therapeutic atmosphere for me. Sometimes I will be somewhere in space or in the middle of the ocean. And depending on what else happens in there, someone might be coming out of the water and start spinning around. You know, kind of psychedelic shit. However, that is just listening to the music on its own. I have to do some work here. I have to be engaged in what I am doing.

A lot of these would likely be done consciously at first, but I think it would be best to do these practices for some of the things you enjoy subconsciously. Being aware of the absence of involvement in that thing’s community may bring feelings of isolation. With practice though, it will turn out fine.

Is there a genre of music that I have shown success in by increasing productivity and keeping that sort of “magic” or “mystery” that came from it? Turns out, yes I have! I have successfully done this with Ambient Drum and Bass and sometimes Intelligent Dance Music (especially by Aphex Twin), but more the Ambient Drum and Bass. I like how the music itself is very unchanging and samey. While this is a disadvantage for many listeners, this is actually GREAT for me! It just creates less distractions while I work if it feels like a song is two hours long, but in reality is actually 20 songs. As far as ignorance goes, the only pseudonym that I know from that genre right now is “4AM Breaks” because that is where I get most of the music from, but I plan to try to keep it that way. This is not because I wish to attack any of the artists behind the music… well, whoever they are. In fact, I think they are quite talented. All of them! I just believe that not knowing who made them is just a part of me enjoying the genre.

On the topic of ignoring things leading to happiness, I have also applied a little bit of this to nostalgic aesthetics. I watched a video a while back about an aesthetic in packaging that I seemed to like whenever I was browsing Walmart, especially with cleaning products. They seemed to take me back to when I was in my old town, also exploring Walmart. It also did a nice job at taking me back to my old apartment from before I moved towns. Turns out this aesthetic was called Frutiger Aero/Metro. The only names I can attach to the aesthetic is one, drmr being the guy behind the Wii’s Homebrew theme, and two + three, two friends that just so happen to also like the aesthetic a lot. Just so long as I am not involved in any of the drama that comes from aesthetics, I think the same magic can be felt from when I first experienced it. An interesting side effect that I found is that most people’s views on music that fit the aesthetic are different from mine. There is a wiki page, (below) that lists a lot of music that their community has felt that fit the aesthetic well. I did not agree with a lot of the picks. I find that Trance / Dance music of the time would fit more with the aesthetic, but that’s fine. We all don’t have to experience aesthetics the same way. Fascinatingly, I have also attached the Ambient Drum and Bass thing to it too, which only makes my idea more independent.

So where was I at the beginning of this ramble? … Oh right, senioritis. I guess my initial point is that if I get myself to do it, I can easily rely on Ambient Drum and Bass to get what I need done! I found that this method has worked when working on YouTube stuff before, so I do hope this also works with this stuff.