#the old men are feeding me well today

[yutasbellybuttonpiercing]

slowly, i'm going down

access full masterlist here!

pairing: song mingi x reader (no pronouns mentioned, reader has female anatomy)

au/genre: college!au, tutor!reader, mingi does not give a shit about studying, smut

word count: 4816 words

warnings: voice kink (AHHHHH), oral and fingering (reader receiving), reader is a little mean, kitchen sex, anime references, cringe, a joke about adhd, dirty talk... um..., oh right Mingi has a big dick (wbk), everyone's a little silly, unprotected sex (boo ‼️👎🏻), premature ejaculation almost, creampie, cum eating... (not reader...), i think that's it. NOT PROOF READ YET!!

synopsis: mingi hates studying, but what he hates way more than that is being perceived as stupid. what mingi loves on the other hand, are pretty people getting flustered about his voice

or

mingi shows you exactly what he hates and loves.

a/n: i was almost ready when i saw this tiktok and it completely blocked my mind because it's SO FUNNY, but at the same time, it's men being dudes, dudes being bros, and that kind of made it hard for me to continue. i apologize for the 24h delay 😞

taglist: @byuntrash101 @goquokka @ashwoodforest @choisansnotsolegalwife

Mingi is not one to sit there and look at books. Or papers. Or anything that doesn't move and feed his brain with bright colors and his ears with noises, really. He prefers to vibe, and studying is definitely not the vibe. Sadly, studying is a part of his life as a university student. Yes, he chose this path for himself and yes, he was aware that it would involve studying. Still, now that it's really happening and is not just an obstacle to overcome in the far, far future, Mingi kind of wishes he'd chosen something else to do with his life. It's just exhausting, why would he waste the precious time he has left on planet earth on something that doesn't get the serotonin floating? He's pretty sure he has some undiagnosed ADHD simmering up there, but who is he to judge that? He's certainly not studying to become a doctor or whatever.

Anyway, given the fact that Mingi doesn't like to study, he's not had much experience with it in the first place. He's barely gotten his way through school, but uni is a different level. Hence, he needs someone to 1) teach him how to study and 2) make him study, or rather: have a judging eye on him while he is supposed to study, so the fear of being called out on it may light a fire under his ass and force him to bury his nose between the stinky pages of an old library book (on that note: he also needed someone to show him how to check out books from the library).

And that's why you are here, every Thursday afternoon, sitting at the sad excuse of a kitchen counter slash dining table in Mingi's scandalously expensive apartment given its size, growling next to him every time you catch him analyzing the bumps on his wallpapers instead of the letters on the pages.

Mingi generally likes you, even though you are a bit scary, he has to admit, or maybe that's the appeal. You are polite, but you have a way of looking at him that makes him feel like he's getting mansplained by your eyes. Your taunting gaze on him makes him feel small, and he doesn't like that at all. It makes him feel like all these years of drinking milk to make him stand at the 1.84m he is at today were in vain. You always have that one expression on your face, and maybe that's just Mingi's subconsciousness telling him to STUDY HARD FOR GOD'S SAKE, but in the way your eyebrows would scrunch together just the tiniest bit, he reads: God, he is fucking stupid.

He doesn't know which (since he did not pay attention in biology class, nor is he even sure they teach that in biology class) chemical in his brain suffers an allergic reaction every time you look at him like that, but there has to be one. There is nothing that Mingi hates more than being called stupid. Well, except for studying, maybe.

Call him lazy, call him a scalawag, call him witty for being able to get through all of school without reading a single one of the set books if you must, but do not call him stupid.

The only problem is that you haven't, well, called him stupid per se. It's just how Mingi interprets your stares. Also, he desperately needs you because he doubts there will be many other contestants that are okay with getting paid as little as you are (which is all Mingi has left by the end of a month full of Pokémon trading cards). So Mingi just has to sit back and relax and simply take it because, apparently, that's what he gets for not studying his entire life.

A loud ringing wakes Mingi from his peaceful afternoon nap - one that he has really earned this time around, he managed to look through his study notes for a full 20 minutes during his lunch break!

Disoriented, Mingi raises his head to make out his location and what year he is in. It rings again. Slowly, Mingi recognizes the shrill sound as his door bell. He slowly gets up, a quick glance in the mirror tells him that his hair is an absolute mess (which is really a crowning achievement given his buzz cut length) and he has imprint marks from his blanket all over his right cheek, but his sleepy mind doesn't even take it in. Mingi furrows his brows and shakes his head. Who would dare to disturb his peaceful slumber at this ungodly hour (4pm)?

The answer, of course, stands right in front of his door. With your arms crossed and the tip of your shoe drumming a dent into Mingi's "come in if you're a silly baka"-door mat, you raise an unimpressed brow at the sleepy shell of Mingi that blinks one eye after the other.

A few seconds pass until Mingi finally realizes who you are, and his mouth forms an 'o'-shape. Immediately after, he furrows his brows once again, his body slumping forward a bit because: why on God's green earth are you here? Then, it hits him like a truck, the aftermath of the collision blowing the remaining sleep out of his eyes: it's Thursday afternoon!

"Sorry," he says and sheepishly scratches the back of his head, then steps aside to let you enter.

"It's fine, it's only freezing cold outside," you stare at him before stepping in, shudder as you kick your shoes off, slip into Mingi's guest slippers and hurry inside. Mingi's brain does not register the sarcasm drenching your words.

"Let's get to it, shall we?" You ask as Mingi finally manages to follow you into the kitchen. You sit, take out a few sheets of paper from your backpack, then look over questioningly as Mingi has not even moved a millimeter, but instead started yawning like his life depends on it. Your eyes drift down his body. "Or maybe after you've put on some pants?"

Mingi freezes, looks down to confirm that, indeed, he's not wearing pants, but Naruto boxer shorts, then covers his crotch with his hands and buzzes off into his room.

Minutes later, Mingi reenters the kitchen, a pair of sweatpants hanging low on his hips that, yes, he checked twice if he's wearing them the right way around. As mentioned, he is generally unable to properly focus on his studies, but today, it's exceptionally bad. Of course, you'd notice.

"Mingi, are you okay?" There's worry in your eyes – a sight Mingi has not seen. Ever.

"I'm fine, just tired," he mumbles, eyes unfocusing as he stares ahead.

"Yeah, you are? Why?" Mingi's tired mind cannot question why you suddenly seem so interested in his well-being. He also doesn't put any meaning into why you're scooting closer to him, your forearm accidentally touching his.

"I studied during my lunch break," Mingi informs you, a little, proud smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Something tingles inside his chest as you carefully place your hand on his arm. As he looks over at you, you smile at him, and he notices your gaze flickering down to his lips for a second.

Hold on. Mingi's mind suddenly snaps out of its hazy state and works on overdrive. He might be the type to vibe, the type to just let things play out, but he'd be damned if he didn't notice when someone likes him like that. He suddenly notices the way you started creating skin-on-skin contact with him, the way you want to be closer to him, eyeing him even more than you ever did before. Just... why? Is it because you saw him in his Anime panties?

A few moments pass, and you sit back, then pat your pencil against the book to remind him of the reason why you're actually here. Mingi groans, admittedly a little dramatically and unreasonably erotic, brushing a hand through his hair to flex his biceps right in front of your face. You seem unimpressed.

"Well, fuck me," he chuckles deeply, the rasp in his voice more evident than usual due to his nap. It's then when you tense, he notices from the corner of his eye. Oh. Okay. So it's the voice?

"I'm really glad you're tutoring me, you know?" He purrs, throwing in a little praise to get you extra bothered, and you simply breathe out nervously.

"Heh, no worries," you brush him off. Mingi decides that, for now, he's made you suffer enough and keeps quiet. Instead, he focusses on his studies, although he's already planning his next step to terrorize you with the sultry rasp his vocal cords are gifted with.

"Mingi, focus-"

"No, I get what I have to do, the contents just won't stay in my head." Mingi reasons, his voice unusually, but not by chance, high pitched, eyebrows scrunched as to why the hell he has to do this before doing that only to do whatever next when it wasn't like this for the other exercise he had to do minutes prior. He is not stupid (!), he does understand how this works. It's just that it doesn't make sense, and that is surely not his fault.

"Are you stup-" you start, but shut your mouth before you're even able to call him the dumbest fucker you've ever crossed paths with. Mingi inhales sharply. Oh, oh, you're lucky he is patient, and you're lucky he knows that as soon as he growled a few dirty words into your ear, you'd slam your upper body on the counter without regards of caution, pushing your panties down under your skirt and begging him to take you right there - or at least, that's what he imagines.

Yes, Mingi is super patient, that's just what comes with the entire vibe-personality package, so he does not dump your cute sorry ass on his baka-door mat, but simply closes his pen, lays it on the table and looks at you. A fabulous idea plops into his mind.

"God," he groans as deeply as he can, stretching his arms over his head, "I guess I'm just a little" - he throws in a little moany sigh - "a little distracted today."

"A-are you?" You nod, biting your lip subconsciously. Mingi looks at you without moving his head. "Why?"

"Well, just stuff, you know?" Mingi enjoys how the rumble in his voice makes his throat and - obviously - you feel. "There's just a lot, going on. Like big... big stuff. Stuff that just keeps coming and coming, in and out, just like that. Ugh, I wish I could just let all this frustration out you know, all this pent up stuff." He watches for your reaction.

Unmistakably, your hand holding your own pen in a relaxed manner mere seconds ago now desperately grasps the poor objects until your knuckles turn white, your breathing is uneven and loud as if you'd just ran the entire way from Mingi's place to the next convenience store (seriously, why the fuck is he paying so much for this godforsaken apartment?). And - Mingi's favorite reaction to him ever: you're pressing your thighs together.

Oh, how Mingi loves himself a good reaction like this.

"Big stuff, huh?" Your voice trembles as your nervous eyes search for his. "H-how big?"

"Oh, really big. Just really fucking big," Mingi confirms with a slight smirk. He loves how you just fold easily like that. One second, you're over there feeling superior on your little throne of knowledge that Mingi lacks, and the next, you're making a little mess in your panties just because Mingi so much as spoke. Absolutely incredible. People should start calling him "the rizzler".

"I think-" you clear your throat, "I think I should head home then?"

Mingi smiles to himself as soon as you turn away to pack your stuff into your backpack. His hands automatically reach out to play with his pen, his long, slender fingers toying with the object, inevitably drawing your attention to the movements. "Already?"

"Mhm." You stare a second too long, gulp, then hastily stuff your belongings into the big compartment of the backpack, Mingi listens to the sweet melody of stressed breathing and papers crunching.

As amused as he is, he decides that it is time for the big reveal.

"Keep it in your pants, baby" he looks over, his eyebrow halfway raised, and stops rocking back and forth and fiddling with the pencil as you freeze in your tracks and stop packing. "What?"

Slowly, you turn your head to look at him. "So you know?" You manage to squeak.

Mingi smugly pushes his tongue into his cheek. He loves how you're basically vibrating out of nervousness. "Oh, I know."

You sigh, hands finally letting go of your stuff and motioning defeat. He wonders what's going on in your mind right now. Are you afraid he's going to call you out? That he's going to make fun of you? That he's going to call you a needy slut and send you home? Or are you wondering if he's going to give you what you want? Mingi loves this game.

That's why he decides to make your situation a little more miserable.

"I also know that you think I'm stupid," he explains calmly, trying his best to no longer show any excitement, smugness, or any emotion whatsoever on his sharp facial features to really confuse you. Well, that's what you're getting for (almost) calling The Song Mingi stupid. Just a little payback, is all. He's not going to go so far and make you cry. No, no, Mingi can't handle when people cry, much less so if it's because of him.

Nevertheless, your breath hitches. Oh, you're fully aware that he didn't like you calling him that at all. Oh, how the gears are turning behind your forehead as you're trying to figure out what's going on, and what's going to go on in the next minutes.

"Thought so," Mingi deadpans. Yeah, that's right. Look how smart he is now! Super smart! He's got you all figured out. He knows exactly what to say and how to act to make you feel - and, fuck, does this feel like redemption - stupid.

"I'm sorry-" you start, back facing Mingi's form, but Mingi is not here for it. Mingi has gotten what Mingi wants. Mingi feels as powerful as he imagines a lion to feel, like, every day.

"Dumb fucks good," he simply states, just putting it out there, throwing it into the room for you to do with that statement whatever you like. Mingi's mind is already satisfied, his ego stroked because he's just proven that he isn't dumb. Although... he wouldn't mind a little diddling because, if he's being honest, you're hot as fuck and seeing you react to him in this way- well, he's also just a man!

"What?" You probably think you must've terribly misheard him as you whip your head around to face the confident Mingi smugly leaned back in his chair. Your eyes meet his, and he is sure that you now realize that, no, you definitely did not mishear him. That was exactly what he said.

In the blink of an eye, Mingi feels your presence on his lap, a last final look into his eyes before he feels your lips against his, desperately chewing away the remaining air separating his spit from yours. It's messy, lips colliding, too much teeth and tongue, but it's all raw and desperate. Mingi gets the vibes that you may have had some pent up want for him, but that's honestly the last clear thought he can muster before you grind your hips against his.

A deep groan escapes Mingi's lips, inevitably echoing against your own quiet gasps that just turn louder with every movement of your hips, your hands frantically trying to touch him everywhere at once to the point where he has to grab your arms and pull you back. Your eyes, wide. And confused, but somehow lidded and hazy at the same time struggle to take in Mingi in front of you. Yes, Mingi is aware of the effect of his siren eyes.

For another moment, he simply enjoys seeing how destroyed you look already, but honestly, there is just one thing on his mind.

"I'm gonna eat you out," he informs, waiting for you to nod frantically, whine and scramble off his lap for him to keep his promise. And you do, allowing Mingi to grab your waist with his large hands and lift you onto the counter. Of course, he can't resist getting another taste of your lips, almost losing himself in the soft pillows that frame your pretty mouth, but the hardness creating a tent in his sweatpants reminds him that he should possible attend a little lower.

Hence, he kisses his way over your cheek towards your jaw, then over your neck and down your collarbones. Mingi is not sure what your opinions on love bites are, so he just hopes you can remember him being right here and here and here even without visual proof, he can save that for next time.

Okay, Mingi admittedly was not able to hold himself back completely, his teeth only gently nipping at your skin on his way down. He simply hopes for the best, but your sounds seem to imply that you do not mind him one bit. Instead, you sound as if you wouldn't mind him taking a few bites more.

Impatient as you are, you assist Mingi in pushing your shirt out of the way, the straps of your bra automatically falling down your shoulders to reveal more of you to his hungry eyes.

And as much as Mingi would like to spend hours playing with your chest, he keeps it down to a minimum, kissing the soft flesh while gently pushing the remaining material out of the way for better access. His lips wrap around a nipple, his hands meanwhile busy with massaging the other and carefully holding your waist. God, Mingi loves boobs. But he might love the way your fingers comb through his hair and gently pull on it a bit more even.

Finally, the time has come, and Mingi kneels down on the floor. Pushing your skirt up, hands caressing your thighs, he creates eye contact with your eyes glazed over by lust and want. It doesn't even faze him that he hasn't cleaned these floors in weeks, honestly, he is in so deep he probably wouldn't even realize if the stove was on, lighting his study notes on fire.

He wants to tease you more, make you wait, maybe make you beg even, but he just feels too hungry to keep waiting. His fingers hook into the hem of your panties, pulling them down your legs as quickly as possible before spreading your legs and groaning in anticipation.

Throwing your thighs over his shoulders, he pulls you forward a little further, chuckling as you almost lose balance and smile at him. Okay, maybe Mingi feels a little tingle, and maybe that is not a horny tingle, but that's something to worry about later, if ever. Right now, he has a mission: dive in.

So that's what he does, obviously, planting a careful kiss right on your clit to wait for your reaction. And you do not disappoint, gasping slightly at the first sensation before getting louder and bolder the more Mingi tastes you.

His tongue gently parts your folds, getting a first taste of your juices. You basically cry out as his tongue prods at your hole, carefully easing its way inside to caress your walls.

Automatically, your hands fly to his hair, gently pulling at the roots to find a way to ground yourself, the feeling assumingely overwhelming, Mingi thinks, not to brag, but-

Mingi's eyes roll back at a particularly hard tug at his hair, paired with the way your hips grind closer until you're basically riding his face. Fuck, how are you so hot? Mingi's fingers grab hard at your thighs, loving the way the soft flesh feels in his hands.

To experiment a little more and, first and foremost, to get more rewarding reactions out of you, Mingi lets his mouth wander back up to your clit, gently sucking the nub between his lips, his tongue carefully flicking as not to overwhelm you. At the same time, a fingers sneaks its way over to circle your entrance.

Your throat coughs out a broken moan at this, your eyes switching between looking at Mingi's eyes and his mouth, and closing completely. Mingi loves taking in the pleasure written all over your face. He might not admit it, but he loves this kind of praise much more than verbal praise because your body really can't lie. He can literally taste how good he is at this.

He finally pushes his finger inside, loving how the wetness and muscle contractions are basically pulling him deeper and deeper until past his second knuckle. He feels around a little, trying to find the spots that seem to appeal to you the most, watching carefully how you react to each and every flick of his wrist.

Although, he feels that one finger is not enough to prepare you for the rest of him, so he adds another, massaging them into the spot that seems to be making you see stars with the way you grip his hair even tighter and mutter something he interprets as a warning that you're about to cum.

Keeping his pace, he successfully sends you over the edge, letting you ride out your high on his tongue before removing his lips, only getting his fingers massage the last clenches out of you.

Looking up he realizes you look, respectfully, wrecked, with your chest heaving, your hair a little messy and your eyes hazy and glossy, parted lips asking for his. And who is he to deny them, as he leans in to allow you to taste yourself. You seem to like it.

Pulling back after a while, he looks at you. You look so happy and relaxed like he's never seen before. For some reason, it reminds him of the weight in his pants that he suddenly feels the need to inform you about.

"You make me so hard," Mingi says lowly, carefully taking your hand to prove it to you, "feel." It's more your hand guiding his with how fast you reach down to feel him, eager to touch the outline of him through the sweatpants. And as if you're getting paid to stroke Mingi's ego even more, you gasp at his size.

Mingi can't help but smirk, of course, who wouldn't?

"Big stuff, huh?" You repeat your words from earlier, but this time no longer nervous, but cheeky as you bite your lip playfully. Oh, how Mingi would love to make you choke on his dick right now, just a little, and in a loving matter, but he's honestly waited long enough and he really just needs to be in you right now. And besides, Mingi is more in his giving > receiving era.

Instead, he grins. And he feels like there is something more.

Impatiently, you tug at his pants, successfully moving them a millimeter. Mingi helps you push his pants further down until it pools around his ankles. You giggle.

Damnit, Mingi. Why couldn't you've changed your underwear? Mingi mentally scolds himself, a good amount of his previously earned smugness flying out the window. Instead, he gives you kind of a sheepish look.

"I don't mind," you assure, tugging at his anime boxers next, "it's actually relieving to be reminded that you're still the cute, dorky Mingi and are not possessed by a sex demon."

"Incubus," Mingi points out.

"I don't fucking care. Just get this hideous thing off and have sex with me!"

Mingi does not need to be told twice, although he makes a mental note to scold you later for calling the one and only Naruto printed on a piece of fabric shielding his balls from the outside world hideous.

"God, fuck," you let out, and Mingi chuckles at your reaction to his naked lower half, "come here. Please."

You pull him closer, wrap your legs around him and beg him with your eyes. Mingi wastes not another second, aligning himself with your hole and slowly pushing forwards. Your eyes roll back as he enters you, causing you to hold onto him for dear life as he inches inside, filling you completely.

God, must your walls hug him so perfectly? Must you be so unbelievably wet just for him? Must you make these sounds? Mingi feels like he doesn't want to be inside anyone else ever again.

"I feel like I don't want to inside anything else ever again."

How did that get out there?

You chuckle, and have the nerve to pinch his cheek, as if he wasn't balls deep buried inside you right now. "You're so cute."

Cute?!

Mingi will show you cute. He grabs your jaw, admittedly still gently, and makes you look at him as he pulls almost all the way out until his tip catches at your entrance. "Cute?" And he pushes in all the way all at once. You moan, the feeling too much, too intense for you to still keep your eyes open. Helplessly, you cling to Mingi's body as he repeats the action 4 more times before setting a steady rhythm, angling his hips in a way that should stimulate the spot you liked so much earlier.

With your mouth hanging open and your eyebrows scrunched, you look like the prettiest thing Mingi's ever seen. He wants to see you drool, watch you completely lose your mind over nothing else but his cock. At the same time, he is surprised how good it feels. Well, not surprised that it feels good, but that it feels abnormally good, like he's about to nut in the next minute or so. Hopefully, he's able to coax another high out of you before that.

"What was it that riled you up so much earlier? My voice?" He growls, and you as much as whimper in return. "Yeah, like it that my voice is so deep?" You nod pathetically. "Cute."

"Mingi- 's so good."

"Yeah, am I fucking you good?" Mingi grins and you nod weakly, struggling to keep your eyes open. Mingi really shouldn't be the one talking big because honestly, he feels like if u moan one more time, if ur walls clench around him one more time, he is going to lose it. Something about this entire situation is just super surreal to him, or maybe it's simply you that is the reason for his premature high that is coming for him with fast steps.

"Fuck, baby," he groans, kissing your cheek before whispering, "can I please cum inside?"

"Shit, y-yes," you confirm, nodding quickly as you fight your hardest battle to keep your eyes open, focused and on the man that's currently grinding his tip into your sweet spot. Mingi feels like he loves you.

Mingi also feels like he's loosing his grip on reality, which is why he grabs your hips harder than before, using his strength to really slam his hips into yours with force, drowning his thoughts with the sounds of your moans. There is nothing on his mind except for you, you, you, and the primal need to make you his.

"Please," he groans, not quite sure what he's begging for, but it doesn't really matter in the end, does it? All that matters is that Mingi's ears catch the way you're begging him to cum for you, to fill you up, to please, please finish inside. He is not going to deny you that wish.

His hips stutter, his mind goes numb as he feels his muscles tighten and contract, releasing deep inside you. The feeling spreads in his body, feeling high and happy with such a forceful orgasm like this one.

Everything after is just a blur in his mind, he just remembers realizing that you didn't cum a second time, and he wouldn't be Mingi if he kept it that way. That's why he found himself back on his knees seconds after pulling out, sucking your clit back into his mouth, tasting his own release that's threatening to drip out if it wasn't for his fast fingers pumping in and out of you to push you over the edge.

It doesn't take long until you do, orgasm fueled by the lewd action of Mingi eating his own cum out of you, he assumes. Somehow, you two end up in his bed after, mostly because Mingi is a cuddler, partly because Mingi is not able to let you go yet. Or ever. Who knows.

© 2023 YUTASBELLYBUTTONPIERCING all rights reserved — please DO NOT translate, take, nor repost any of my works.

[thehusbandoden]

MHA Men When You're Sick - Bakugo Katsuki, Todoroki Shoto, and Hawks (separately ofc)

A/n: I've had a pounding head and a sore throat since yesterday lol, so here's a little comfort thing.

General info:

Genre: comfort&fluff \\ wc: 755 \\ female reader \\ posted: 03/27/24

Bakugo Katsuki (313 words)

“You need to take this, brat. It will help you.”  

You whine childishly, burying your flushed face in Bakugo’s neck. You’ve had a high fever for days. You were too stubborn to tell Bakugo, not wanting to add anything to his heavy workload. He figured out what was happening the third day in and has kept you on bed rest ever since.  

You were currently fully on top of him, curled into his chest, face buried in his neck. The thought of taking medicine filled you with dread, all you wanted was your hubby’s cuddles.

“Baby, you need to take this.” Bakugo let out a long sigh, doing his best to be patient. His attempts were in vain, your whining pushing him to the edge. He gently pushes you off of him, standing up. You let out a whimper from the lack of the comforting contact, looking up at your partner of two years.  

You give him a pout, trying to guilt him to get back in bed. He sighs, measuring out the appropriate medicine. “I’ll come back for cuddles once you take this, okay?”  

You huff, crossing your arms. You do your very best to stay stubborn, but you grew more and more desperate to get your pillow husband back. You reluctantly open your mouth, allowing the pro hero to spoon feed you your medicine. He watches you strictly, making sure you take every last drop.  

Once you do, he relaxes, putting the spoon and bottle down before crawling back into bed. You don’t waste a second, crawling onto him with a giggle. You rub your cheek up against his collarbone and chest, melting into your beloved hubby.  

Bakugo let out a dramatic sigh, trying to keep up his tsundere act. He stroked your hair fondly, even as he acted like he didn’t find you cute- which he does, but he won’t ever admit it.  

(Bakugo's masterlist)

Shoto (303 words)

(He looks so sweet when he smiles T^T)

The sweet sound of happy squeals and giggles arouses you from your slumber. You groan softly, opening your eyes to see your two-year-old twins crawling on top of you and your husband. You grimace as your head pounds.  

You run a hand through the older twin’s hair before shaking Shoto gently. “Baby?” You whisper, he blinks his eyes open, smiling at the sight of you.  

“Yes darling?” He whispers, his hand finding yours.  

“I really don’t feel well this morning...” Shoto frowns, sitting up to kiss your forehead tenderly. He caresses your hair for a few moments before turning to the twins, his eyes lighting up at the sight of your happy babies.  

“Why don’t you rest? I can watch the twins before I go to work? How bad is it, I can call in if I need to.”  

You groan, not wanting to burden the man you adored. He worked hard enough already; he didn’t need yet another thing on his shoulders.  

Before you can protest, Shoto shoots you a look, silently telling you to just relax for once. Shoto knows better than anyone that you work as hard as he does, though you never take credit for it.  

“I-I really need you here today.” You mumble, looking down in embarrassment. You felt foolish for burdening your husband.  

“I’ll call in. Let me get these rascals into the living room and I’ll come check up on you again, okay?” He smiles softly at you, kissing your forehead, the tip of your nose, and finally your lips. You try to pull away, grimacing.  

“You’ll get sick.” You pout.  

“And?” He smiles softly, pecking your lips twice before standing up, chasing the twins out of the room, their cackles of joy making your head pound and your heart to swell with pride and joy.  

(Sho's masterlist)

Hawks (149 words)

“Babybird!” Hawks screams dramatically, diving full-force into the glass door on your balcony. You frown, quickly opening the door to help him up.  

“You said you weren’t feeling good?!” Hawks asked, obviously panicking. He didn’t blink an eye to the pain he had just inflicted on himself.  

“I just have a headache baby, it’s not that big of a deal.” You sigh fondly. Hawks takes you in his arms, kissing your forehead and temples.  

“Nothing a little cuddling can’t fix...” he grins, pecking your lips and nose before carrying you bridal style towards the couch.  

You can’t help but giggle, enjoying the pampering you’re getting. “You’re a goof, my love.” You smile, stroking his jaw.  

“I’m your goof.” He smirks, kissing your cheeks and nose. 

“That you are, and you always will be.” You grin, leaning up to press a loving kiss to his lips, which he happily reciprocates.  

(Hawks masterlist)

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Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way -minus reblogging.

[mrsparrasblog]

I can treat you better than he can

Summary: You were hopeless in love with your Captain who pushed you away denying his own feelings for you, maybe this time he pushed you in the wrong hands.

Pairing: Keegan x Reader ( Callsign Sunshine)

Words: 2500 I think

A/N: This is a small chapter of my fic Nightmares become true solider(my first fic and the love of my life but its to long for Tumblr so I post stand alone chapters) The fic is written in an I perspective

TW: canon typical violence and swearing, sex, oral sex, fingering, spanking, cumplay, reader is a pervert, Keegan too, Price is an idiot, Reader is unhinged

Defeated, I walked over to the boys, leaving John alone by the bar. Well, he sure will join us later; why shouldn't he? "John doesn't want to join."

"Better for us, old man is always winning," Ghost said. Even in the bar, he wore a mask—not his hardshell mask he wore on missions, but a skull-faced balaclava—making him look like he was about to rob the place.

Confidently, I tried to challenge Ghost, saying that I could surely win a second time. "Maybe Kyle and I will win against you and Soap."

"Not possible."

We played some rounds of pool in which every single round Ghost and Soap won, surprising not only because of Ghost's skills. Soap was the best pool player I had ever seen; he was super focused, and every shot was a hit. After a while of sore losses, we decided to sit down in a booth. The bar was crowded with lots of soldiers and girls who wanted to find themselves a military guy. To be honest, I couldn't judge them. Military men were toxic but so damn attractive.

Even through the crowded space, we could see the Ghost Team sitting in a booth, still with their masks on, and drinking. They didn't seem disappointed in their loss. I saw a lot of similarities between them and us; anyone could easily see that they were more than just a unit—a family like us. Well, maybe like the four boys and me as a distant cousin taking up all the space at a family gathering.

"You sure don't want to drink, lass? Celebrate our win; we are officially the best team on base again."

"I don't want to drink today; we have training tomorrow, and I don't want to throw up on the mat."

"You sound like a mom," Kyle complained, and Ghost almost gagged when he heard this.

"Aye, look, Captain is flirting with a bonnie." As I heard this, I turned around, capturing the scene in front of me. John was sitting at the bar with a woman—worse, a pretty woman who looked like the complete opposite of me—and not just in a different hair type way—in a different figure, appearance, style, hair color, height way—everything about her was different. She looked so stunning; the boys, well, more like Kyle, repeated over and over again how gorgeous that woman was and how the captain normally doesn't pick up girls at the bar—but probably made an exception for her because that woman was stunning. 

If I hadn't been so jealous, I probably would have had a panic attack right now. I observed the pair—how she touched his chest, giggling and whispering into his ears—and he looked happier than just happy, delighted, lucky, elated, cheerful, joyful, content, and ecstatic—and every word in this universe to describe his smile. He didn't look repulsed or anything at all. Right now, I feel incredibly stupid. For a blink of a second, I thought that maybe he would like me too. He held me, he comforted me, and God, we almost kissed—but maybe it was just my delusion feeding me with unrealistic dreams for the sake of my hopeless romantic heart. I definitely made him uncomfortable; he was surely disgusted and repulsed by me for how I behaved and how I looked because in no way in heaven did I look like her.

"Captain is a lucky bastard."

"Quiet, Kyle."

I didn't listen to the banter of the boys; the only thing worth my concentration was John and how he laughed with this beautiful woman, and how I desperately wished it was me instead of her.  But life wasn't fair, and I was so freaking dumb for believing I had a chance. She sat down on John's lap. Would it be crazy to threaten her to leave him alone? She surely wasn't military-trained, and with her perfectly manicured nails, she would have trouble fighting me, but was it really her fault? She did nothing wrong, and I still wanted to gut that bitch out. Pardon me, I mean woman. As their lips touched each other after moments of anticipation, I almost lost it, but in fact, it strengthened my self-awareness, and finally, I knew all I thought happened between John and me was pure imagination. 

I took Ghost's Terrible Bourbon out of his hand and chugged it down as if it were orange juice. Kyle and Soap looked at me as if I had just murdered their grandma, but Ghost had a knowing expression. How did that little shit notice my utterly cringe and embarrassing hopeless crush on the Captain?

"That Bourbon was expensive, Sergeant."

"I'll pay you back," I claimed—I won't—and he knew.

He almost whispered an act of kindness to him to not address it in front of Kyle and Soap, who wouldn't let me hear the end of this. "It will pass."

"What?"

"The feeling."

As I saw John and the pain of my existence making out like teenagers, I had finally enough. John had his fun, fine; I can also have much fun and forget that wixxer. Without responding to Ghost or entertaining Soap and Kyle's curious expressions and Kyle's question if I got my period, I left the table, walking straight to the table with the American mask boys. I will definitely regret this tomorrow, but tonight I don't care.

"Keegan, right? Come with me."

"Doll, do you really want to be a sore winner and rub your win under my nose?"

"I thought more of a consolation prize or how you say these things in English."

"Are you not a native English speaker?"

"And there I thought my accent was a dead giveaway."

"You're annoying, kid; did someone ever tell you this?"

"Ghost constantly."

"He is a dick."

"I'd second that."

"So tell me the real reason you're requesting my presence. Don't get me wrong, Doll. I won't mind, but I want to know why I have this luck."

"Nothing, just a girl in a bar speaking with a man in a bar."

"And there I thought, after you jumped into Price's arms today, you would be his partner."

"No."

"Liar."

"Did no one teach you how to flirt, Keegan?" I scoffed.

"Doll, I know how to sweep you off your tiny feet but tell me first, am I a rebounder?"

"Yes."

"Well, we can work with that," he grinned as he flicked his cigarette away, now completely focusing on me. "It must hurt seeing him like that at the bar."

"Like hell."

"Merrick was right. Price is an idiot and a goddamn fool. He's got a dime piece right here, and he's chasing after...that!?" He gestured over to that incredible woman.

"I wouldn't describe myself as a dime piece, Keegan."

Keegan leaned closer to me. His voice is now soft and low instead of his usual hoarse voice. "I would absolutely beg to differ. You're a goddess, and he's a complete moron if he doesn't realize that. Why do you even like this guy?"

I rolled my eyes at his hyperbel. "Well, isn't it obvious? He is tall, strong, and masculinely good-looking, but that is only his appearance. He is smart and funny; I would without a doubt rely my life on him." I noticed John's glance at me. Why? It's not like Keegan was the real enemy. 

"I'd just like to point out that so am I, and I've got something he doesn't." Keegan laughed, and his laugh was magnetic.  I would lie if I said he wasn't attractive, so would this be so wrong?

I'm single and young, so fuck off, John. "Tell me what you have and what he doesn't."

His expression turns to one of pure confidence and pride. "I've got class, doll. This 'captain' of yours is off there in this nasty bar, out with a random chick, eating her face at the bar for all to see. And I'm here, paying attention to you—only to you."

"Oh, so you're a high and mighty soldier with class and only pure intentions towards me?" I chuckled as I realized I was really bad at flirting, mostly because I only relied on my good looks. And here I am constantly insulting men I am interested in.

"Only the purest intentions towards you, and I got something else that he doesn't, doll."

"If you say big dick, I'm going to cringe."

He laughed, not even insulted by my comment. "As much as I'd love to, no. No, that wasn't what I was going to say. But I'm glad that's where your mind goes first."

"Well, then we are on the same page. But I think that's the problem with me. I think like a whore, and of course, he wouldn't like me. I'm just the type for fun, you know."

"Who told you that bullshit?"

"My ex."

"Bastard, come on, doll, let me show you a great time. Forget about that stupid captain of yours."

"Maybe I should."

He lowers his voice even further while his eyes meet mine, not afraid of eye contact. "I think he's intimidated by you. I mean, look at you. Smart, beautiful, and strong—you kicked all our arses today like we were toys, and Price knows that; he has no shot with you, and instead of taking a chance, he's hiding behind another girl."

His big hands started to caress my hair, tightly gripping it in an act of dominance. He wasn't afraid of showing me that he wanted me.

"Well, that other girl is hot."

"She might be hot, but she's also clearly not you. She's just someone he can control—someone who will do whatever he wants. Just a mere civilian girl with a boring life—but you're a different story. I already know how strong you can be and how much you like to do things your own way. And that's part of what makes you so irresistible—you're more than just a pretty face; you're a great soldier too."

Fuck it. I pulled him to my height, removing his mask enough so his full lips were finally free. He had a sharp jawline and stubbles that almost tickled against my skin as I finally planted my lips on his, desperate to kiss him and feel desired. He wasn't expecting my sudden kiss and his breath hitched for a moment, his hands tightening in my hair, keeping me so close. I could feel his lips curving into a slight smile, his eyes fluttering shut as his body froze, a low masculine groan escaping his mouth as he pressed his rock-hard body against mine. His hands started to roam over my body until they found my ass, squeezing it firmly and pulling me up in his arms to close even more distance.

John's POV

"Soldiers always had a different kind of appeal to me." If she tells me one more time how she fetishizes soldiers and how she always dreamt of marrying one and being a stay-at-home mom while her husband would be on dangerous deployments, I'd gladly off myself. It wasn't wrong to want to be a stay-at-home mom; John's mom was one too, and she did way more than his old man gave her credit for, but he always hated women who only cared about his status in the military and the benefits it came with. Well, at least she was pretty.

"Do you even listen, Johnny?" Johnny, really?

"Yes, of course, sweetheart." She always blushed when he called her sweetheart, and he felt incredibly terrible for only calling her that because he couldn't, for the love of God, remember her correct name: Sarah, or Sandra; certainly not Sunshine. John thought he could erase Sunshine completely from his brain by making out with that woman. He was wrong— it only made him long for her even more. For heaven's sake. He could lie to himself and say it was that woman's fault, but she was pretty and even a bit smart—she just wasn't Sunshine, and that frustrated him. He didn't even get a physical reaction out of that woman— even his dick betrayed him.

"Oh, God, John, that woman is completely embarrassing," she gestured at something, and when John turned around, he could see it. It was his woman in the arms of that tosser, exactly like he held her today, only that they were making out. Disgusting—deep inside, he knew he couldn't judge her. He was making out with a random woman in the bar just so he could forget her, but still, his stomach built a knot that twisted him like the time he got stabbed near his kidney in Afghanistan.  He would never admit that he was jealous—jealousy was something for weak people. He never felt this way before, and he won't start now. 

It clearly only bothered him because he was one of Merrick's fellow guys; he'd probably only flirted with her because of the rivalry. And as the good captain he was, he needed to stop that, right? So his woman—uhm, his sergeant—wouldn't get hurt and be unconcentrated in missions. 

Sunshine was now sitting on Keegan's lap as he whispered things in her ear that made her sweet cheeks rise with a beautiful color. John couldn't stand this sight anymore; his knuckles turned white from the tight fist he made. He didn't even listen to the woman whom he tried to lay tonight, and as Keegan walked towards the loo, he saw his chance to act like the proper captain he was, and he went after him.

"You deserve better than me, sweetheart, someone who is emotionally available." He didn't let her form her words in protest; he only put $50 down on the table and left in the direction of the loo. He entered the room, closing the door behind him. He was used to being intimidating, and he sure as hell would intimidate that little Sergeant of Merrick. He leaned against the door frame, not saying a word at first, waiting till he noticed him. Right now, he felt strong; it had something powerfull seeing his enemy with his dick out pissing—John was fully clothed, stoic, and strong while Keegan was exposed and vulnerable. John tried to hide his smirk as he saw how he was thicker than him down there—way more for his Sun to enjoy—concentrate on the task, John.

"Sergeant Russ," he said with his hoarse voice.

"Price, what do you want?" he practically spat out.

"Touch her again, and I'll make sure that you won't be able to touch anything else." He saw the look of fear in Keegan's eyes. Of course, he was a strong soldier, but Keegan wasn't a fool and knew that Price was a real threat. 

But then he tested John's patience by saying something foolish like "jealous that you won't be the one to make her scream in pleasure tonight." John saw red, his fists held close to his body, his knuckles turning white. He wanted to beat that shit out of that bastard, but being violent isn't what makes the other scared; it's his calmness and the fact that if he loses it, it's over. 

"Care to repeat that, Russ?"

"I'm going to touch her the whole night, and you guided her into my arms like an idiot." He didn't understand what he meant by him being at fault for Sun's interest in Russ, but never in his life dared someone to call him an idiot.

"I'll give you one last chance, leave her alone."

"Or what, you kill me?" he scoffed and laughed.

"Maybe I will," he said with a low growl that signaled Keegan that he wasn't joking. 

Both fell into silence as Soap and Ghost stumbled out of one of the cabins. They clearly fucked again; he would have said something about not sleeping around in the military, but he wasn't such a hypocrite. 

Soap interfered in the situation, "Aye, calm down, Captain; he isn't worth the stain." Why did they both need to interfere? He couldn't threaten Russ properly without giving the suggestion that he was more than just a caring captain for his Sun. 

Keegan rolled his eyes, "Whatever, I'm going to fuck your little sunshine now." Before John could react, Keegan already had a fist in his face. 

Surprisingly, not from John himself but from Ghost, the reserved man who seemed to hate Sunshine with all his heart. Was he perhaps interested in his Sun? No, never. Ghost was head over heels for Soap, even if he would never admit that. But why the sudden act? Keegan left the loo with a bloody lip.

"You fucked up, John."

"I know, Simon."

Soap and Ghost left the bathroom shortly after, and John could hear the arguing, something about Soap being jealous and thinking Ghost wanted Sunshine, and Ghost replying that Soap was fucking delusional and should know his place. If he hadn't been entrenched in his own hell of drama, he would have talked to Simon. Fucking hell that evening was fucked up. 

As he left the bathroom, going to the booth of his boys, he noticed how Soap and Ghost were silent, Soap's glance almost burning in rage. Sunshine was dancing with Keegan while he groped her precious ass. John sat miserably with his own scotch, but at least Gaz was happy drinking his beer and ranting about something.

After a while, he saw Keegan pull Sun over his shoulder, and they went straight out of the bar, with her being a tipsy and giggling mess. "What a show-off," he scoffed.

"How funny that Sunny is the only one getting action tonight," Kyle looked confused as every man at the table shot him a death glare. For heaven's sake, that evening was cursed, and in all vulnerability, John hoped that this was just a one-night thing for her.

Sunshine's POV

He threw me over his shoulder and carried me out of the bar. As we walked towards his room in the base, I could already feel my arousal approaching. It took forever since we stopped always to make out.

You could say a lot about him; he is arrogant, narcissistic, and a bit crazy, but he's a damn good kisser. We reached his barrack, it was as simple as hers just that his wasn't a single. She hoped desperately that his roommate didn't bulge in. 

He pressed me against the door frame as their kiss deepened, Keegan's hand slipped under my shirt tracing soft circles on my back. His other hand slides gently around my hair pulling it towards him as a show of his dominance.

I couldn't hold back and moaned into his kiss. "Fuck it." I ripped his shirt off him ogling over his muscular frame. He was toned his pecks were perfectly sculpted, every woman would kill for that sight but I thought about John - stop it, forget John, think about Keegan.

Keegan smirked as I ripped off his shirt, his hands slowly exploring every inch of my clothed body. His touch was rough and possessive like he desperately needed me. He released a loud groan as I started to trace down his abs and prominent V line. I pulled off my shirt and bra and threw it in the corner. His eyes widened as he took in the sight of my breasts. His rough hand cupped them and his calloused fingers from his work in the military brushed across my hardened nipples. "Fuck," he breathed out his lips finding mine again in a hungry kiss. His erected dick already pressing against my stomach.

"Please Keegan, I need you." I pleaded, Keegan broke our kiss, his lips trailing down my neck and collarbone, his teeth graze my skin lightly as he nipped at my shoulder- Oh he is a biter. His hand squeezed my breasts again before he started to undo his pants. His hardened dick sprung out of his boxers, his pink tip already glistered with pre cum. He wasn't very thick but the length was impressive and he was circumcised. I licked my lips in anticipation. "Shit you're big." Keegan only chuckled darkly at my words. "I'll show you how big." He growls his hands moving to grip my hips firmly as he ripped off my thong revealing my already wet folds.

"Hey, I liked that one."

"I buy you a new one."

His finger dips into my moisture before teasing my throbbing entrance. "You're already so ready for me," he murmurs. 

"Keegan please stop teasing me."

Keegan's other hand slipped down to play with my clit. His thumb circling gently the sensitive knot. With one swift movement, he pushes his thick fingers deep inside of me. He groaned in pleasure at the tightness that surrounded him. "Fuck you feel so good- around my finger."

He pushed his fingers lazily against my G spot and started to scisor them inside, he looked determined at my face to learn which movement kept me going. I felt the knot in my stomach building up letting me almost explode. His lips trailed down my neck sucking on my nipples while he continued to abuse my clit.

"Cum on me Doll."

I came hard spasming around his thick fingers and coating them with my juices. Keegan's cock throbbed in anticipation as he watched me cum around his fingers. He pulls his hand away, relishing the sight of my wetness. "That's it, baby girl."

"Let me take care of you Keegan." I let myself fall on my knees and slowly started to stroak his dick and lick the pre cum of his swollen tip. Keegan groans deeply, as I take his cock into my mouth, his hips jerking automatically forward. He grips my hair trying to maintain his control. "Fuck Doll." 

I bobbed my head up and down while playing with his balls with one of my free hands. He pushes his cock deeper inside of me but he should know that I'm the one in control. I bite softly on his tip to make him crazy. His lips escaped moans - loud moans. His cock throbbed in anticipation leaving stains of pre cum on my tongue. "Fuck Doll, that feels good don't stop."

I began to deep throat him almost gaging because of his length, my eyes began to tear, I tried to maintain eye contact. Keegan's grip on my hair tightens his knuckles turning white. His hips jerk forward, pushing only deeper into my throat. "You're so fucking good at that, I cant last longer."  I press my plump lips together tightening the friction around his member. 

As he feels him getting close he pulls my head back away. "Not quite yet Doll," he growls his voice stained with the effort to hold back his orgasm. I started to laugh and ignored his attempts to last longer I moved my head faster. "Fuck you're going to make me cum." I moaned in agreement - my voice only sending vibrations down his dick.

Keegan grunts loudly. His entire body tensing up as he loses control and erupts deep inside my throat. His cock twitches repeatedly, sending wave after wave of hot cum down my throat, I swallow every sip of his cum and finally hold my tongue out showing him my empty mouth. Keegan stared down at me in shock, his eyes dark with lust and satisfaction. His muscular thigh trembles as he tries to hold his composure. He gently traces down my jawline. "Fuck you're mine Doll" - I was definitely not his. 

Keegan lifted me and threw me on the bed as he spread my legs wide, positioning himself between my legs - his cock already hardening again. He looks down at me with a predatory grin, then lowers himself onto my waiting sex and pushes inside me with one powerful trust making me scream in pleasure and pain at the same time. 

He begins thrusting into me, hard and fast. The bed cracks under our combined weight as he takes me roughly. His muscular arms flex with each stroke. 

"Keegan, it feels so good."

"Doll," he groans his voice hoarse with lust, "you're so fucking tight I can barely hold back." 

"Don't hold back, Keegan. Fuck me."

He grins. "You like it rough doll?" I nodded and with a swift move, he flips me over onto my stomach and pulls my ass up, with brutal precision and starts a relentless pace as he fucks me from behind.  His large hand gripped me tightly leaving marks on my body. "This is what you want isn't it?"

I start to clench around him, only getting more aroused at his words. "Oh you're so wet," he murmurs, moving one hand between my legs to stroke my neglected clit. The added sensation sends shockwaves of pleasure through my body causing me to arch my back and cry out his name.

"That's it, Doll, take it all." 

"I'm close - please, Keegan," I pleaded to him to finally release me.

"Cum for me Doll," he growls picking up the pace even more. His cock slams into me over and over again, each thrust sending a vibration through my core as he pinched my clit hard. I started to cry out of pleasure and finally came spasming around his dick - coating him with all my juices.  Keegan held me firm supporting my body weight as he let me ride out my orgasm while starting to kiss me all over my body and leaving marks everywhere. 

After my orgasm, he guided me on top of him and I started to ride him as his hands roam over my body, griping my hips tightly again. His eyes followed the movements of my breasts, his mouth watering at the sight. He pulled me forcefully tight onto his shaft brushing against my cervix so I would start to see stars, his hand now pressed against the familiar bulge inside my womb.

Keegan started to rub my overstimulated clit again as he finally chased after his release, with each thrust his hips slams powerful against me, he became slowly sloppy and uncontrolable begging me to finally release him.

I clenched tight around his dick, his eyes rolled back inside his skull. With a groan that echoes through the room, Keegan's hot seed erupts inside of me, filling me up completely. His cockhead twitches as he emptied himself inside of me- pushing his cum deeper into my hole.

"Fuck." He collapsed on top of me, our bodies still entwined, Keegan pressed his face into the crook of my neck inhaling my scent. "What the fuck was that, no women made me cum like that before."

"Well, I'm pretty skilled at these things."

"You're fucking amazing Doll." He slowly pulled his softening dick out of me watching his seeds drip down from my cunt into his mattress.

"As much as I like to see you coated in my cum, let me clean you up."

"Oh, what a gentleman."

"It's the least I can do after you gave me the best orgasm of my life." 

"Oh was it?"

"Don't lie to me it was fucking amazing for you too."

"A close third place Keegan." I grinned.

"Don't challenge me Doll." 

"Or what?"

"You will regret this."

"Why?"

"You like Price even tho I don't know why."

"And Price doesn't like me, so I can have all my fun while he has his with that other woman."

"His loss is my win."

He cuddled against me after he cleaned his seed from my thighs but as he fell asleep snoring the only thought in my brain was John. 

I'm screwed.

[jhuzen]

married life [m.reader]

this is me taking the first step in creating the househusband hcs of our tall hsr men for us gays and bi kings. happy pride ansismdkf (i mean to say that also in haitham’s post bUT OH WELL). anyway, i still hate luocha. otto trauma so true so real (honestly, his only saving grace in mhy games is ayato because he’s not blond). today, we have ourselves some househusbands.

𖦹 househusband hcs with gepard, sampo, jing yuan, blade, dan heng, caelus and old man welt, no luocha but i’m open to be convinced why i should start loving him, mostly fluff, domestic stuff, modern au though… aren’t they more modern if they can travel the space? huh. normal world au then. forgot to add that ceo reader is implied

GEPARD LANDAU

He’s a very reluctant househusband at first, actually. He’s one who firmly believes that relationships are a team effort (and they are and should be), and thinks that it wouldn’t hurt for the both of you to work together. Of course, you encourage him regardless, and with both of your career-oriented selves, you were basically the couple that could foster a ten or so children and still be financially sound.

Serval is the one who convinced Gepard to lay low a little in his job and relax for once. You’re making a decent income a month — enough for you to be the only one working and still have a comfortable life together.

You have to thank your sister-in-law and her craftiness. She wasn’t Gepard’s sister for nothing. She knew your husband more than anyone and knew that he was too down bad to even refuse in entertaining the thought of not taking care of you. All she had to do was do a little convincing.

“If I were [Name], I sure wouldn’t mind coming home to a nice meal like this every night,” she’d muse with a hum while she ate off of Gepard’s cooking. He came home early that one night and thought to surprise you. Of course, Serval just had to taste test since she’s looking out for you, her beloved brother-in-law. “Also wouldn’t mind being taken care of by my own spouse…”

Gepard quickly folded. What if his sister was right and you wanted that kind of life? But it’s not like he also wants to quit his job just like that. So he made a gradual decrease in work until he can finally have a schedule that can commit as a househusband and occasionally help when he’s needed at work as a consultant.

Your beloved husband is a bit mid from the start — basic in cooking, in chores, but it’s his perseverance that pushes him up to S-tier househusband status. He will really go out of his way to learn recipes that you suddenly brought up in the middle of a conversation and will execute it to the highest standards. He will become a lot more meticulous in his chores around the house.

If he can, he’s definitely the type to drop by and join you in lunch. He’s a lot more free now, and if there’s nothing else to do in the house, he’ll take some lunch and go to where you work and just eat lunch together. Everyone is looking at the windows of your own office in envy while they watched you get spoon fed by your cute husband (they don’t know how embarrassed Gepard is since you technically just coerced him to feed you so people can see you on purpose).

So very attentive to you. He wakes you up early (even earlier if you have meetings where you have to discuss things to be extra prepared) for work. Your lunch is just top tier, but the plating is too cute — with the slightly uneven shapes to create cute animals. He’s the kind to even put a note in your packed lunch every time without fail.

He knows how hard you work and only wants the best for you. And when you recognize his efforts, he’s quick to get flustered from your compliments. He will fold like a wet cardboard. He’s too weak.

“Dear, please,” you could only laugh at your beloved’s winsome attitude. Currently pressed against the marbled counter of the kitchen, you can only shower him in a plethora of love-filled kisses as you expressed your unending gratitude. Your lips left tiny pecks from his cheeks down to his neck, only serving to fluster him even more.

You pulled back but not before leaving another quick kiss on his nose, “What’s got you all knotted up, love? No one’s watching.” You cooed, leaving your poor husband whining at the thought of earlier — when you so cruelly asked him to feed you in front of your subordinates while you busily ‘worked’ on your projects.

But somehow even with the unbridled embarrassment that you brought to him, Gepard couldn’t help but feel the elation engulf his entirety at the prospect of you showing him off in your own mischievous ways. Even with your busy schedule, you were more than willing to let him come inside your work and take the time off just to let him join you for lunch. He’d already heard enough drama around the neighborhood to be grateful that you can still balance your work with your marriage.

He was grateful to have you as his partner for life. And even then, he wouldn’t mind having to visit you just to feed you. It was certainly a rare thing that he’s heard partners would suggest, so to be given a privilege as seeing you everyday at work was something he would cherish more than ever.

A kiss on his temple knocked his fleeting thoughts off the rail and pulled him back to reality, blinking at your curious smile, “…Shield for your thoughts?” You inquired with a gentle tone, eager to pry just what has got your husband so spacey all of a sudden.

He only grinned before pulling you in for a proper kiss and murmured against your lips, “Just thanking my lucky stars for having you as my husband.”

Now it was your turn to be flustered.

𐂂

SAMPO KOSKI

Your friends still think you’re a legend for even managing to wife up the untamable Sampo. But somehow, you pulled him in and he was more than willing to be a househusband. For more reasons than one.

But let’s get out the pinnacle of his reasons out of the way — it being, him living so comfortably? Financially supported by a handsome guy like you? Sign him up. He’s more than willing to take care of you while you take care of him. He’s a sleazy guy, after all. Wouldn’t wanna get married to a broke man. Kidding.

Anyway, he mostly sells the story of getting married just for benefits for laughs. But really, you’ve somehow managed to actually trap him as a prisoner of love. He’s a huge simp for you and actually considers your high-end job a bonus. A really good bonus. But other than that, you’ve got Sampo completely wrapped around your finger. And he’s a very eager househusband.

A surprisingly good househusband. He’s meticulous in his work and can cook. But what really sells him is how well he can budget and actively get discounts just by smooth talking the vendors in the market. You once went with him, telling him to go nuts and buy everything that he needs, and you came home with only just a good half of your money spent. He was scarily good and from then on, you made an oath to take notes from your husband’s amazing haggling skills.

He’s a very resourceful man. If you need anything, he’s there to lend a hand. He’s always there to fix equipments that break down. Really, you rarely get issues with the things at home, because the moment he senses that there’s something wrong, he’s already on the case. Your husband is a jack of all trades.

All he requires is a small fee of some attention and loving from you. Seriously, he will mope around and will let you know that he’s upset that you forgot to give him a goodbye kiss earlier when you left for work.

You wake up much earlier than he does, but please wake him up. He wants to cook you breakfast and see you off like a loving househusband that he is. He will sulk if you so much as even think of leaving him without waking him up. He’s a big drama queen and unless you make up for it once you get home, he will continue to walk around the house with a pout on his face.

The only way to make this man completely crumble underneath you is to spoil him. He’s working so hard with the upkeep of your shared home! If you take him out on surprise date nights, he will melt. Shower him with lavish gifts from all the money you saved up, courtesy of Sampo’s extreme bargaining. He will latch onto your arm the entire night like your pretty little arm candy (even if he’s taller than you).

Oh, right. You will get sudden visits from Natasha or even Seele and Oleg, just to check up on your married life. They’re mostly just there to whack some sense into Sampo if he’s being difficult to you. Suffice to say, they’re always surprised when they come visit your homely abode that’s clean and has a refreshing atmosphere. Seele plugs her ears every time you say it’s all because of Sampo that your house is even remotely presentable. She’s in denial.

It was a grueling day, leaving you completely vulnerable to the throes of exhaustion. You ought to take some vacation days, maybe go on a different country with your husband for a treat. Surely, he’d like that. You noticed he’s been working just as hard as you at home. Speaking of which — the reason for your home’s unfamiliar silence was in fact the lack of singing from your lively husband. You were so used to hearing his voice that the silence felt incredibly deafening when you were alone.

“Love? You home?” You called out, glancing at the shoe rack by the door to see his outdoor shoes in the same place and the indoor shoes missing. He’s here. You pursed your lips, brushing off the peculiarity and headed to the joint dining room and kitchen, seeing a nice still hot meal sitting on a nice plate. But it was the only thing on the table, no other plates or even a husband waiting on you with a smile. You peered at the food to see a card beside the plate, scribbled with a sad face.

“…What.” You sat the card back down before finally poking your head in the living room, seeing your husband watching another sad show while screwing in some panel from what you can only guess a part of your heater. You sauntered up from behind him, before grabbing his face and tilting his head up to meet your gaze.

He made no noise and had it not been for his evident pout, you would’ve only been left wondering what you did to make him so sulky again. You sighed before leaning to press a kiss against your lips. You could feel him finally smile against the kiss.

“So you still love me?” He asked, insinuating that you felt otherwise for not even giving him a kiss goodbye earlier.

“Not like I have a choice,” was your only cheeky response.

“Wha— Hey!”

𐂂

JING YUAN

Out of everyone, he is probably the most eager one to be a househusband. He is so ready to retire. He’s been moaning about it at work constantly, about how he’s just ready to settle in somewhere nice and be taken care of. And when you decided to finally tie the knot with him, you didn’t even have to ask twice, that man is already turning in his resignation and is already making your shared home even cozier than ever.

He’s a very languid man, but that does not mean he’s going to flake out on chores. He can do them all efficiently just for the sake of getting them out of the way so he can keep relaxing after. That, and of course making sure that you come home to a clean home. Aeons know how stressful it is to come home from work and seeing your own home completely cluttered. Jing Yuan has suffered the same thing before he met you.

Jing Yuan loves you through his cooking other than sleeping in with you. He creates the greatest dishes for you. Often are you eating your lunch with so much pride. Your subordinates would come inside your office during lunchtime to pass some papers and they would see you just completely enjoying life with your husband’s cooking.

He likes to greet you with a nice warm meal after your work. And he’d just watch you eat his meals with a fond smile while you continue to talk about each of your days with each other. Of course, occasionally, he’d open his mouth and you would have to feed him as well. Yanqing would sometimes come home to such a sight and never has he seen a more domestic scene than before.

Another one of his much favored ways to show his love is through after work massages. You’d come home and be completely smothered with love just by his touches. Sometimes he’d give you a nice neck and shoulder massage while you’re eating and talking about your day. Or you could both be lounging on the sofa and he would absentmindedly massage your overworked hands.

However his most favored time spent with you is when you’re on a day off and that he would successfully persuade you into staying a little bit longer in bed with him. Just sleep until the afternoon, with limbs tangled against one another. He loves spooning his husband that takes care of him so dearly. Just feeling your back pressed against his chest while he’s nuzzling his nose into the nape of your neck. Bliss. Utter bliss.

The two of you scream old married couple. Just two old geezers enjoying their lives. It’s really such a relaxing relationship. Being married to Jing Yuan is like a vacation from your problems and him being married to you is an adventure without the nauseating exhaustion.

Yanqing is inadvertently your child the moment you got married to your husband. And suffice to say, you were far more content in your life than you could ever imagine. Never have you felt the genuine happiness swell within you the moment you came home to the two of them cooking together. You still have a slightly motion blurred picture in your phone and neither of them know about it.

Overall the most chill househusband. But even in his passivity, you can feel the radiating warmth of love for you. He just… loves you so much that he’s more than willing to take care of you and the little family that you and him have created. He will wait for you by the door with his half-lidded gaze completely fixated on you with so much adoration. He’s lucky to have you.

You were used to the hectic mornings you often faced upon waking up. It was always a rush job in the morning, speeding through all your morning routine before finally leaving for work. But today was not that day. You could tell from the way the sunlight hit your eyelids. You always left just before the sun could even come up, but right now, you had other plans.

You wanted to prepare a nice breakfast for your husband. He had been working so hard all the time, taking care of you and Yanqing with no days off unlike you. You figured you could get the day started and surprise the both of them with some of your cooking prowess. Suddenly filled with the motivation, you sat up, ready to face the first hour of your time off work for a few days.

However, your plans were soon foiled when a strong arm hooked around your waist and immediately pulled you back down on the bed without even breaking a sweat. You sighed, looking off to the side to see one golden eye peering at you sleepily. Lips turning up into a smile, you shifted to fully face him.

“Can’t even let me make you some breakfast in bed, huh?” You teased with the same fondness as the very first day you and him got married.

A quiet grunt was all your lover gave, only to follow it up with his own gruff response a minute later, “While that sounds nice, I believe I can also reap benefits just from canoodling with my husband for let’s say… until the afternoon.”

Your hands were tied at that point, and with one last charming smile from your dozing husband, you dove into his arms, letting him press some kisses on your face before falling asleep, with you following after.

𐂂

BLADE

No one in this world knows how you managed to charm and marry Blade in the first place. Even his family considers you a miracle worker for bagging the hard to get man. You could only reminisce of the times he would give you the cold shoulder when you tried to ask him out. You were cringe but Blade somehow liked it.

Regardless, he’s one of the reluctant househusbands at first. Blade doesn’t like the feeling of not going out and making money like you. He believes that as long as he can, he will contribute to this relationship. It’s really adorable. And you were supportive of what he wants, but when he realized no one can take care of you while you’re busy being the breadwinner, he decided that he’ll take one for the team and take care of everything in the house instead.

He is meticulous in cleaning. Your house is always sparkling clean the moment you arrive at home. He’s constantly on the hunt for any dust that could taint your shared humble abode. He once read that an unclean house can cause sickness to the occupants, and he has never let a single dust touch a furniture ever since then. Your health is his priority and he will do everything in his power to keep you healthy.

You know what? Screw it, he wears his apron without a care too. He goes out of the house in a pink frilly apron you gifted him as a silly little joke and he’s not ashamed of it. Even Kafka’s incessant teasing isn’t enough to deter him from wearing it. You gave it to him and he loves it. That’s all that matters.

Surprisingly loved by your neighbors. In contrast to his gloomy disposition, he’s always seen around the market and with people’s tendency to draw closer to mysterious handsome men like him, let’s just say he’s managed to unintentionally charm your neighbors. Everyone calls you lucky for getting him, everyone calls him lucky for having a good husband that provides.

Really, he cares so little about the money you make. All he needs is your love and attention. It is imperative that you give him calls on certain times of the day, let him know that you’re still alive at the very least. It’s not like you can’t make do on such a promise either, you loved calling him just to take a break from work for a little while. Even just hearing his quiet grunts of agreement while you gossiped about your subordinates was enough.

He wakes you up… like really early. Super early. Like at least a few hours before you call in for work. His reason? To get enough time with you before you go to work. It’s adorable. You two could be just lounging at the balcony, sipping coffee or tea while you both watch the sunrise.

Speaking of which, with him comes a package. His aforementioned family. Kafka and Silver Wolf’s visits are a must. They are a part of him and now they are a part of you. Kafka could be dropping by just to chat and gossip with you (somehow both of you know a lot about people’s own businesses) or Silver Wolf would just barge in and hog all your game systems (she says no one plays them since you’re both old men so she gets the privilege). Either way you’re already used to it, and one guest room is always at the ready.

Getting married to Blade is honestly the best thing you’ve ever done in your life. You still don’t know how you pulled him, but with him resting on you while the both of you watched shows, showing you his vulnerability tells you that doing so is not an accident or a mistake.

“…Would it kill you to step back a little? It’s hard to cook.”

“But you’re so warm. So soft… so…”

Quite possibly out of all the forms of affections that you’ve expressed towards him, Blade finds your nosy hands cupping around his chest from under his clothes the least practical. Especially when you’re doing it while he’s cooking your breakfast before you’re off for work.

He flipped the omelet with ease despite his claims of difficulty just seconds ago. Of course, it wasn’t as hard when he’s standing still. But on times where he had to go get some things, you in your sleepy daze had to trudge behind him like a shadow just to persistently warm your incredibly cold hands.

Regardless, other than the difficulty in moving, Blade finds it even harder not to burn the kitchen down as his concentration dwindled with every kiss you pressed against his neck, unrelenting and incredibly soft, so filled with love in every individual peck that met his skin. His face turned a rather dark shade of scarlet while you busied yourself with him.

“Keep this up and you’re going to be late.”

“At least it’s extra time with you~” you cooed.

Blade only sighed before leaning against your back, using his free hand to softly knock into the side of your head as his form of half-assed discipline.

Well. Maybe he wouldn’t mind that extra time too.

𐂂

DAN HENG

He’s not so much as a reluctant househusband. In fact, he relishes in the idea of just staying home and doing his work there. He likes the comfort of being able to sit things out for once after having to look after his two gremlins for friends. However, he does want to make sure that you’re always safe when you’re working.

After a lot of reassurances, he finally decides that you can handle your own. He will compensate for it by taking an extremely good care of you and your shared home. And this man does not play around. He’s sort of like Blade, excelling at everything that needs to be done not just because, but it’s to keep you safe. He cooks you healthy meals and scrubs any dirt off the face of the world.

Easily one of the greatest househusbands in the list. Dan Heng has the right temperament and while he’s often aloof to most people, when it comes to you, you could already feel how he seems more lenient, a little softer on you.

He does all his work efficiently to get them over with as fast and as best as he can so he can have time to visit you in your work. If he knows he has time, count on your beloved husband to come and bring you some freshly cooked lunch in your office. Almost everyone in your company already knows who he is. He’s the elusive husband of the big boss, coming in just to bring you some lunch.

Speaking of which, might wanna keep your subordinates in check. Dan Heng is a looker, and the fact that he’s just as considerate, combined with his mysterious nature, people are bound to be more attracted to him. Though honestly, none of their little admiration could measure up to Dan Heng’s love for you.

In his eyes, you are the only one important, right next to his own family with Himeko and the rest. And he will do all that he can to make sure that you’re alright in any aspect of your life. However even with that dedication, it’s also your job to keep him intact. He focuses so much on you that he sometimes forgets to wind down.

Taking him out on something with a serene atmosphere usually does the trick. Bring tons of books to entertain yourselves, and if the stories get too old, you chat about things you have yet to tell each other. Dan Heng really appreciates the effort you put in, investing your time in him despite the fact that you’re running a conglomerate, but even then just a little gesture from you is enough for him to know how grateful you are for his own efforts as well.

Old married couple 2.0. March said so herself when she decided to barge into your home to show you her pictures from her recent travels. She and the raccoon are tied at the tally of visits. Often they just crash just to make sure Dan Heng hasn’t driven you insane yet with his very… unromantic nature. Safe to say March still couldn’t believe that dear old Dan Heng was the first to pop the question in tying the knot.

Speaking of unromantic, your husband does come off as one, often giving you practical solutions than giving you any words of comfort when you’re stressed. And perhaps it’s because you understood that’s his way of romancing you that you and him ended up married in the first place.

Exhaustion was more of a friend than a foe after having to bury yourself in the tower stacks of paperwork. It’s times like these that you had to wonder if running the family company is even worth it.

“I’m too tired to driiiiive,” you whined, looking at the spreadsheets in exasperation.

And as if he had a sixth sense, a knock on your door was heard and you gave the green light with little regard for the person behind the door. You then looked up and almost cried at the sight of your beautiful husband, with two coffees in hand.

“Come on, I’ll take you home,” it was all he had to say to prompt what little motivation you had left in your system, letting your sluggish self spring back to life. You bound to him with a grateful smile on your face and greeted him with an embrace.

You took one cup from him and graced him with a kiss on his cheek, “Hang on, let me get some take home work. I need to at least finish a good third of this.”

Your poor husband was a lot more worried than he could let on with his stoic face — seeing you on the ropes, completely hard at work and barely functioning at the sheer exhaustion was almost enough to tempt him into stopping you from bringing home your work. Alas, he supported you regardless and only thought to compensate for your extra work with an even better dinner.

“Anything you want for tonight?” He asked, thoughtful as always.

“Mmm… chicken fried rice?”

“Chicken fried rice it is.”

𐂂

CAELUS

Not a single soul expected for this man to get married. Everyone thought he’d just end up on the streets willingly, constantly rummaging through trash can after trash can, falling in love with one and settling down with it in his own odd way. Surprise surprise, he is now a househusband that digs through the high end trash cans placed inside your shared home.

Quite frankly, if Caelus was being honest, he also did not expect to trip into you and quite literally fall in love. And for you to reciprocate it. He always thought you two were just the best of friends, with you supporting his hobbies with little to no judgment. So imagine his surprise that he keeps feeling every time he wakes up right next to you (and right next to his five foot pillow of a trashcan, but it’s a separate affair on its own).

Moving aside your husband’s very odd addiction of living the life of a trash panda, Caelus is actually a pretty decent househusband. His specialities are mostly the meals he makes for you. They’re always so delicious and is often the highlight of your day even without him around.

He’s very active around the neighborhood and is always armed with the latest news around town. The other stay at home spouses love him. And you were quite surprised to find out that he’s far more connected in the very place you both live in than you could ever be. When you’re free, you’d sometimes accompany him to the market and somehow end up staying very late because a lot of people recognize him and seem to want to chat with him.

Caelus parades you around as his beloved husband and people are just dropping jaws when they realize you have definitely been interviewed in one of those famous magazines about businesses and all that jazz.

Surprisingly, just like Sampo, Caelus is your man when it comes to spending wisely and learning how to haggle. He knows his way around almost everything and even you couldn’t help but be proud of yourself of fishing out such a dashing man that is wise in finances. Good man, honestly.

One fact about him that you like are his skills in caring for children. There’s something so wonderfully domestic whenever you would come home early and see him playing with the children — Hook and Clara, if you can recall. He’s mostly just babysitting for them on days that he’s not completely hammered to death with housework.

His favorite thing to do with you is grocery shopping at night. Just the two of you cruising around every aisle, more often than not, you’d push the cart with him in it getting gradually buried by every item you decided to purchase. It’s a good way to spend some time together while getting something productive done. And perhaps coax you into buying a little more food than you and him intended in the first place. Dan Heng always advices you not to be too swayed by your husband antics… but it’s clearly not working.

Caelus is a silly little man, with his weird eccentric jokes and his equally strange fascination for all things related to trash cans. But it’s probably because of this that you found yourself enamored. He is your respite in the suffocating world of your workforce. He pushes you in situations you never thought would be fun unless he was with you.

“If you loved me, you would’ve gotten ten more boxes of cookies.”

“And if you loved me, you wouldn’t be willingly burying yourself in that cart instead of helping me pick between chocolate or strawberry milk.” You quipped back with a snarky grin, not even bothering to look at your childish husband who continued to be sprawled out in the cart at ten in the evening while you shopped.

Caelus pouted, you always did make good points. It’s why he could never win an argument against you. Or maybe he could… if he wasn’t so completely smitten at the sight of you. You were always seen as the dignified boss of your company, dressed in three piece suits that could suffocate anyone and their wallet.

But here you were, dressed in a loose shirt (likely one of his just judging from the fit) and some pair of joggers that you haphazardly threw on.

Absolutely breathtaking.

He lent out a hand to reach for the carton of flavored milk that you finally chose, adding it onto the pile. He waited until you were at the end of the cart, getting ready to muscle your way through pushing an incredibly heavy cart, courtesy of your husband.

Caelus looked up at you, “Don’t I at least get a kiss for helping out?”

“Cae, I’m dying from pushing you. How ‘bout we entertain that incentive once you got out of the cart and started helping me, hm?”

Maybe he’s just a simp, but how could he deny his demanding husband’s whims?

𐂂

WELT YANG

This old man is the definition of a reluctant retiree. Well, it’s not actually a retirement for him. He still gets to be the voice of reason, only that he won’t actually personally animating. Who’s to blame? You. To be accurate, this old man officially decided to step down from his hands-on job as an animator so he can be a househusband. You’re a priority after all, and only the heavens know how bad you need to be taken care of.

Welt joins the ranks of a godly househusband. He knows his way around almost every single thing that needs to get fixed. His cooking? Top tier. His housework game? Absolute perfection. Floors are swept, counters are wiped and dusted, sheets and clothes are washed and pressed. He is perfect.

And on top of that, he still manages to balance his work from home as the consultant for any new anime that is about to be produced and can still care for you without even breaking a sweat. Old man Welt is always pulling through.

So let’s get this out of the way — actual old married couple. Not just vibes. You two are old men who look at the screen with squinted eyes. Well, only Welt does that while you laugh at him and then proceed to forget where you placed your own phone despite being on it just a few minutes ago.

Regardless, you live a much more balanced life, just two husbands cruising through life with little worries. You live on a good neighborhood, living comfortably and get a lot of visits from yours and Welt’s friends/family. Most of which are from the trio and Himeko. You and Welt always host these family dinners on weekends where everyone is free. Life is good.

However despite all the glamour of living a comfortable life in this marriage, there is one glaring difference between you and Welt — mostly it’s the fact that you have worse time management than he does and often gets the short end of the stick, always pummeled to death with your paperwork that could leave anyone in a fit of raw despair. Welt looked at your work the one time you left to answer a phone call from office and shuddered at the heavy load.

Welt is essentially your clock when it’s time to unwind from work. You have a tendency to overwork at times and it’s something that Welt always makes sure to keep an eye out for. He just wants what’s best for you, and oftentimes, what’s best is for you is to finally get some shuteye after suffering through another overnight that you pulled.

Also, there is an unspoken rule of not letting any man with long blonde hair inside your home. It’s just a house rule. The top of all other house rules in fact, as it takes the most priority in fulfilling.

Regardless, Welt is so… househusband-shaped. He knows what to do as one and does a damn good execution of it all. Maybe it’s because of his compassionate self that you were quick to fall for the old man. He didn’t even have to try and show off, all he had to do was be himself and you’d still give him the world with every penny you’ve earned from your job.

A taut frown tugged onto Welt’s lips as he squinted on the labels from the spices that Himeko sent from her recent overseas trip. Not that he didn’t trust his good friend’s tastes in any form of flavor, it’s only that he wanted to make sure none of it had any ingredient that could probably send you into an anaphylactic shock. Yes, he is this meticulous when it comes to you.

Alas, his cautiousness grants no extra clear sight in viewing the labels and he struggled, holding them in different proximities. Are the characters really that small intentionally or are they so incoherent because they manufacturers made an error in the sizing the font before printing it on the packaging.

Fortunately for him, you came into the rescue as you plucked the packaging from his hands. Welt didn’t need to look up to see the same smug smile plastered on your face whenever you’d catch him doing the same thing to his phone. Well, he loved looking at you so he did it nonetheless.

“Having trouble again, old man?” You teased and Welt only had to sigh in response. “Is this from Himeko’s package?”

Your endeared husband nodded, “Of course. I had to see what else she gave us. And I’m looking over the ingredients so I can keep you out of the hospital as best as I can.” He turned to the stove and lowered the heat. “Now kindly read it for me, dear.”

You only nodded, flipping over the packet, “Sure thing.”

There was a silence that followed, with Welt expecting you to run your mouth about the ingredients already. He looked back to you…

…And saw you squinting at the same bundle of text that he’s been staring at.

Welt scoffed, playful and light in nature, “And you call me old.”

“It’s the manufacturer’s fault…!!”

[letarasstuff]

Female Rage

(A/N): Initially, I wanted to end this one on a hopeful note. But fighting the war of equality and equity can be pretty hopeless. I tried to be as inclusive as possible, but it's came out in a very binary way. I'm sorry for that and I'm readyto change anything.

Summary: Spencer learns from his daughter how much the patriarchy really sucks.

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: the utter feeling of hopelessness in today's patriarchy, unwanted advances, some men suck

✨Masterlist✨

_________________________

“Hey, what’s with you today?” Spencer asks after hearing his daughter slamming the front door shut.

Her stomping feet bring her towards the living room, where he sits on the couch with a book in his hands, deciding whether or not he’ll include it in his next class. Looking up from the written words, he instantly spots all the emotion running over (Y/N)’s face.

Now, being a father to a 16 year old teenager wasn’t always easy and especially since puberty started it’s becoming increasingly difficult to decipher his child, but Spencer knows right away what kind of emotional cocktail is playing here: Anger, hurt, a pinch of shock and layered under all of this is a certain type of fear. Which one is up to (Y/N) telling him.

“What’s with me today?” She asks him in an incredulous tone. “With me? What about you? Or your entire gender. No, seriously. How can you men go around, trumpeting how you are the stronger, the smarter, the better, the most superior gender? And mean that? Even going as far as to believe that bullshit”

(Y/N) stops, taking in a deep breath. Her father looks at her with waiting eyes, thinking that she now will calmly explain to him what her whole tirade is about. But it seems that this was just the prologue. Because she continues with even more vigour in her voice than she started with.

“For real, what makes you even think that? Stronger than a person, who was assigned female at birth? Just because you are able to build muscles faster than we? Or lose weight faster than us? You know what I call that? An evolutionary problem, because while I got emergency fat to feed off in the case of, I don’t know, an apocalypse, you will freeze to death.

“Our bodies are, for the most part, able to grow an entire functioning human being. We literally take a breakfast bar and build fingers with that energy.

“And for the smarter part? No, absolutely not. So many findings in history have been stolen from women by men, who greedily put their name on it and call it a day of science. Without women, cars probably would still drive around with windshield wipers. Mary Anderson has been laughed at for that idea, despite being one of the first women to hold a patent. And as soon as it expired, suddenly wipers were installed in all cars. Out of nowhere, it stopped being a dumb idea? Just because you weren’t able to attribute it to a woman?!

“But what more to expect from a gender that made protective gear for their testicles in hockey mandatory a hundred years before doing the same thing with a helmet. Who would have thought that brain cells need protection, too? A woman definitely.

I don’t wanna say one gender is better than the other or that there should be a particular fight between any gender at all, but men make it out like that. Damn it, they make women compete with each other to garner their attention. All those “pick me” girls you make fun of? They are the product of internalised misogyny.

“The baseline is wanting to be different from the “typical girl”, right? Well, what is a typical girl, who defined her and why is it so bad to be typical. Who do I want to be different for? Who is mad that I’m dressing up, putting makeup on or having good friendships with other girls?

“Men apparently, because they don’t want a different girl. They don’t want a well dressed, put together woman for the sake of love or so. They want someone easy. Nothing complicated, not someone, who asks them if these pants do look better with that shirt or this blouse. They don’t want to be confronted with problems. That’s why they made up a narrative of how a woman is supposed to be, solely for their own interest.

“And this whole thing eradicates the beautiful experiences you can have as a woman. I don’t talk about these silly and partly belittling things like girl dinner or girl maths. I’m talking about hyping each other up. Bathrooms in a club are fun, because there are a bunch of strangers, talking another stranger up to shoot their shot. Or down from texting their ex. There is unity.

“So where do men get their audacity?!”

Ending her whole rant with this question, (Y/N) stands in front of her father, seething and looking like she is about to overthrow the patriarchy with her own two hands. Right here, right now.

Meanwhile Spencer has started to shrink into the sofa and looks as physically small as possible.

“Uhm, the audacity for what, Sweetheart?” He asks hesitantly, scared for her reaction, but also knowing that this is something his daughter needs to get out of her system.

“TO WALK UP TO ME AND TRYING TO GET SOMETHING ON WITH ME WHILE HE CLEARLY HAS BEEN TRYING TO DESTROY MY WHOLE PRESENTATION! TO FLIRT WITH A MINOR WHILE HE CLEAR AS DAY IS IN HIS MID TO LATE TWENTIES!”

(Y/N) falls down on the sofa face first, next to her father. He rubs her arm up and down in a soothing manner, trying to take the fall after her burst of warranted female rage.

“I apologise. I know, there is nothing I can do against all of what you just said. I also know, like you, that we are talking about a structural problem. It’s nothing that can be solved by a few words. It sucks, knowing that your right to vote is younger than the patent on the first motorised vehicle. It’s not right that you always have to stick up for your rights, while mine will never be threatened.

“Nothing about all of this is fair. That I have to raise you in a way to remind you that any man out there could hurt you. It’s not fair that you have to go tell other men making advances at you about an imaginary boyfriend, because they rather believe in the legitimation of a fake male than your no. That you have to say no more than once, just because someone wants to “make sure you really mean it”.

“I can’t do anything right now that will satisfy you.

“But I can promise you that I will always listen to you. Listen to what makes you mad about this system. I will listen to other people, telling me how the patriarchy failed them. I promise to uplift the women in my life, give credit where it’s due and try to be the best feminist I can be.

But you need to promise me to tell me how I can support you the best in a world that wants to diminish your opinion, your rights and you. Can we do that?”

A short moment of silence gives Spencer the opportunity to think about instances, where he had to endure how (Y/N) being born female made her life more difficult. May it be boys pulling your hair on the playground and the teacher saying that they show love in this abusive way. May it be being called emotional or being told to stop being dramatic while talking about her problems. May it be in simply enjoying stereotypical girly things and being called basic because of that.

“Yes, I promise, I’ll keep you in check. And if you start rambling about how men are superior, I’ll ship you off to the worst retirement home I can find,” (Y/N) says, voice a bit muffled by the couch pillows.

The family continues sitting in silence, the feeling of deep and utter unfairness seeping into their bones.

If you have come this far, please consider a reblog or a comment. Not holding you at gunpoint or anything, but it would be pretty neat.

All works:

@venomsvl @kneelforloki @ssa-uglywhore27 @bibissparkles

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962 @ellyhotchner

General Spencer Reid:

@mayoanddelight (sunny, you seriously need to tell me when you change your url, this list had such an old one in it)

[theminecraftbee]

Once again, Zedaph finds himself outside the closed gates of the Deep Frost Citadel, tapping his feet with annoyance. Honestly, by now you’d think the stupid thing would understand Zedaph always gets his way, when it comes to Tango, but no, Tango’s stupid base keeps trying to stop him.

“I told you, I’m not here to negotiate, I’m here to pick up my friend,” Zedaph says irritably. The gates of the base don’t respond, and don’t open. “I have a very important nap to be taking, I’ll have you know, and I will not be stopped by… by base chicanery!”

There’s a deep, rolling growl from somewhere in the bowls of the citadel. It sounds like ravagers.

“Oh, don’t you threaten me, you know I’ll run around and die in there all you want as soon as it’s ready. Not even afraid, am I? You’ve had your taste of the good old Zed flesh, but no sir, you aren’t getting me today. The high-voltage wires were a good trick last time I came to bother Tango, I admit, but it won’t work again!”

Another rumbling growl. Zedaph huffs. It would certainly be nice if Decked Out spoke in human to him, so he wouldn’t have to keep guessing. Even sheep would be better—Tango may have an affinity for beasts, but Zedaph only has an affinity if the beasts are also silly.

He makes an educated guess. “Yes, yes, I know you’ve ‘eaten him’ or whatever. Well I’ll have you know that Tangos have more nutritional value after watching me take a very important nap. And also dying. Its enriching. You like enriched Tango—okay, okay, that wasn’t the complaint, geez, you don’t have to shout at me. At this rate I’ll just use my pickaxe to break through the door, and then what will you do, huh? Nothing. You’ll do nothing, because you’re a big stupid building in the ground, and Tango was my friend first.”

A rumble.

“Haha, yeah, take that. We’ve been friends for years. You might be his magnum opus, but you’ve never made him sign a custom body pillow with your beautiful face on it, have you? That is the bond of men! No base can do anything about that.”

A louder rumble. Zedaph feels what he thinks is supposed to be fear and desire to wander into the depths and die or something silly like that. Zedaph isn’t certain, because it’s not as important as Zedvancements. This is one of Zedaph’s special abilities: if it’s not as important as whatever he’s doing right now, he’s very good at ignoring it until it becomes important. So, like, the Citadel is trying to lure him to his death, but that’s less important than taking a very deadly nap while Tango watches with horrified awe, so he’ll just ignore it until later.

Works every time.

“Listen, I’ll bring him back in one piece! Have I ever lied about that? I never do. He always comes right back to work, even when I do distract him, and he’s chipper again, right? I barely even disrupt things. Not that you could do anything if I did, of course, you hunk of stone and ice.”

Zedaph stares at the closed doors for a bit longer. He thinks this is about when anyone else would either die on the spot, or run away screaming, or maybe just come in and feed themselves to a ravager, but the that’s because the other hermits very frequently don’t have anything better to do than to get caught up in other people’s nonsense, in Zed’s experience.

Zedaph simply has so much nonsense of his own that he can out-stubborn even Tango’s base. Like he said: a special talent.

Slowly, as though greatly reluctant, the gates open.

“Thank you, geez! Was that so hard?”

Zedaph stomps through to the hidden access door of the Decked Out maintenance tunnels, grabbing one of the supplemental oxygen masks as he does. He sighs as he realizes that Tango, once again, has forgotten he needs to breathe. Hopefully, the fact Zedaph is currently keenly aware of needing to breathe on account of planning to not do that ten times in a row does not remind Tango.

He finds Tango taking a nap tangled in some high-voltage redstone lines. This time, Zedaph knows better than to touch them. It had been a mite embarrassing the last time. “Tango! Hey, Tango!”

“Wuh?” says Tango, eloquently. “I’m up, I’m up, level three’s almost done I swear—”

“Tango, get up, I have bedroom tricks to show you!” Zedaph says.

“I’m up! Zed? Oh hey! What are you doing all the way out here?”

“I told you. It’s urgent, Tango, urgent. I have bedroom tricks only you can assist me with.”

“Well, that’s a good time I wasn’t expecting,” Tango says.

“No, you idiot! Get your head out of the gutter, and come on! I have things to do!”

“Okay, Zedaph, geez, geez, lemme just—”

“I’ve already asked your stupid base,” Zedaph says. “It’s fine. Now, get out of those wires before I get shocked or something, and we’re going to go have fun.”

Tango slowly uncoils himself. “Right. I’ll get ready and—” Zedaph whips a pair of sunglasses out of his pocket. Tango pauses before smiling brightly. “Oh, you’re the best.”

“I really am,” agrees Zed, and he grabs his best friend’s hand and leads him out of the Deep Frost Citadel to show off his latest contraption. He turns around and sticks his tongue out for good measure at the base as they go. Hah. Take that. The best. There’s no beating it.

And there’s no keeping him away from Tango. Zedaph guarantees it.

[kindofatheatrekid]

Soft Yandere! Veteran HCs (and a special something at the end!)

So I basically fell in love with this nameless man I wrote on a whim- And now I’m giving the dude a name now- My precious moot helped me to cement his identity as a jaded, Russian veteran and I obviously leaped at the chance of making an old dilf. I fucking love this man- 😀

This is definitely NSFW so…

MINORS DNI. MINORS DNI. MINORS DNI.

That’s better! ❤️

Soft Yandere! Veteran who’s at least twenty-five years your senior— and makes sure that you remember that. He’ll make sure that any bratty attitude coming from you will be promptly shut down. Whether it’ll be through a spanking session or giving your mouth something better to do… Well. It depends on how much you’ve pissed him off already. ^^

(Don’t worry, though. He’s too much of a softie to not ensure that you’ll enjoy every second of your “punishment~” 😮‍💨)

“In my days, cadets used to have their teeth smashed in if they mouthed off to their superiors. Shouldn’t you thank me for my leniency, love?”

Soft Yandere! Veteran who makes sure that you’re always well fed. He may have some food insecurity problems, and would never want his beloved to ever experience that gnawing hunger he felt in his earlier years. So say au revoir to any diets you want to do!

He’s a good cook too, so you bet he’s going to feed you every time you see each other. You’re always going to be greeted with food as aftercare— there’s no arguing on that. He will force-feed you. 😓

“A diet? Tch. You don’t need that. Just eat, dear. You need the nutrients for later.”

Speaking of aftercare! Soft Yandere! Veteran who knows exactly what to do after years of fucking women. …And maybe some men but we don’t talk about his soldier years- The man will wipe you down and massage every part of your body that aches after his rough treatment. Believe in the old man who has chronic pain every day because of what he did in his youth- He definitely knows how to relieve any muscle aches. 😌

Soft Yandere! Veteran who is a huge cuddler. He’s taller than you and is just a brickhouse— you’re not going anywhere if he wants to cuddle with you. He probably has a size kink, loves seeing you try to fit him in your mouth. He’ll be so condescending about it too, goading you on while he’s reading the newspaper like the senile man he is. 😩

“Come on, love~ Is that really the best you can do? You can take a bit more, right? For me~?”

Soft Yandere! Veteran who is Russian! The man never speaks crass words, though— always a gentleman through and through. His mama taught him right! He has to make sure that you remember your manners with him too! Say please and then he might give you what you want. It depends, though. Have you been a polite lover to him today? 🤔

“Mmm… I don’t know, Солнце… You’ve been so naughty today. I think you should beg some more for my cock~”

Soft Yandere! Veteran who has episodes of depression whenever he remembers the young men he killed in the battlefield. You can find him on the floor while staring at his countless medals— bottles of everclear on the floor with a few cigar buds in the ashtray nearby. A hug from you will help him a lot…

(Please replace the bitter cigar in his mouth with your sweet lips. Give him something else to think about. Better yet, why don’t you spread those thighs of yours? That will always get the old man going! 😊)

“...Thank you, лапочка. I needed this.”

Soft Yandere! Veteran who will never let you go. You’re just too pure for the world… He’s directly seen how dirty humans can be. You’re like a spring breeze to him, allowing him to relax his mind for the first time since he was drafted. Just listen to everything he says. Don’t you believe in him? 🥺

“...People… They can be cruel. Especially to wounded rabbits like you.”

You didn’t think that I’d just make headcanons after painting a scene in your head, right? Dear gods no! I want to be a nice author to you all! (At least until my mind decides to switch up and make angst- But you’re all safe! For now.) 😈

Anyways! I’m going to show y’all a blowjob scene with this old man now! Have fun! ^^

(It’s gender neutral this time because you’re sucking his dick-)

You thought he was being too cruel right now. Here you were: on your knees, serving the man while he was enjoying his morning cup of coffee. If you could talk, you would’ve whined at him for his attention; to get that dumb paper out of the way so he could fuck your mouth like you knew he could. He was undoubtedly affected by the way your lips were wrapped around not even half of his cock, though. There was a reason why his hand had a firm grip on your hair— not allowing you to pull away nor go deeper.

The old man had way too much patience compared to you, not even budging when you start to paw at his clothed thighs. He’s spent years on the battlefield, dear. The man can neglect his own needs as long as you learn your lesson. Your parents must have not taught you very well, but that’s fine! He can show you exactly how to stay in the lines.

Your desperate whimpers send shivers down his spine, the vibrations making his warm cock grow hotter— a familiar warmth pooling underneath his stomach. His hand tightens around your locks, a deep sigh escaping from his lips before he even knew it. You got what you wanted, his attention. And oh… You have his full attention.

A low growl was your only warning before he forced his cock down your throat— his hands now occupied with pulling your hair like it were a horse’s reins. You couldn’t breathe; he was big, and he knew that. You could barely see his sly grin through your tears, but you could feel it. By the way his hand was kept on the back of your head to keep your spit-covered lips on his cock. By the way his other hand was patting the top of your head so affectionately. By the way he cooed at you like he wasn’t choking you on his dick right now.

“Aww~ Is there something you want to say, Солнце? Come on~ Use your words for me, hm?”

The bastard was taking pleasure in your helplessness; he knew that your throat was far too occupied to do anything but let out a few muffled whimpers. Whimpers that went straight down to his weeping cock, his balls tightening even more when he sees how prettily you were silently begging for his mercy. The old man was just getting his rocks off at this point.

He kept on using you, bobbing your head over and over again— he was an old soldier, he knew precisely how long he could keep you gagging before you’d pass out. It was like a game to him in a way, seeing how far he could physically push you before you were on the brink of passing out. You were seeing both stars in your eyes and black spots; your adrenaline peaking from this deadly game. One where all you could do was trust the man in front of you that he knew what he was doing.

His endurance was no joke even after over a decade, you didn’t know how long it was before you could finally taste something bitter on your tongue— his head tilting up as he groaned. You were still gagging, your head pushed as far as possible when he came in your throat. The thick, slimy liquid going down your throat effortlessly as he slowly slides you off his limp dick. A round of coughs greeting you after your lungs were suddenly filled with oxygen after a while with barely any.

All he did was pat your head, grabbing a cloth from the table to clean up the mixture of his cum and your drool and tears off your face. His palms tenderly cupping your cheeks afterward— steadily lifting your face up before he presses a soft kiss on your now clean lips. A satisfied smile curving up his lips when he sees your blissed out, lost expression; your usual bratty self not seen at all.

“Hm… Better.”

Translation:

Солнце = sunshine

лапочка = sweetie pie / cutie

BRO. THIS. THIS DOES THINGS TO ME. Y'ALL LIKE THIS OLD MAN TOO, HUH??

"I know what you are."

[portgasdwrld]

Hello, Tomie! Are requests still open? I got the cutest fluff idea and I think you're the best writer for the job because you really write the characters so well.

Cold/stoic OP boys reacting to an S/O who MUST always stop to pet, feed, and photograph every cat on the street? Maybe Smoker, Zoro, and Law.

🍃Hey sweetheart!! Thank you for sending this ask! I love the idea so much and thanks for the support!! I hope you like it 🪽

🥝 Op men + cat lover reader

Featuring: Zoro, Law, Smoker

Warning: None, fluff, established relationship for Zoro & Law. GN! Reader

Zoro

Zoro stares at you as you stopped for the third time today to pet a black kitten this time. He doesn’t see the appeal & doesn’t understand why you love cats so much. He looks around making sure you two are still out of any enemy attack, before he approaches you. He gasps a little when he sees you open your bag to feed the animal with some treats specially made for them.

-Do you just walk around hoping to fall on a cat?

He asks in his usual stern voice. You look over your shoulder and laugh when the realization hits. You couldn’t help but soften, faced to those adorable animals. You would take them all on the ship with you if you could.

-I do be giving this impression, huh?

-Yeah,… you really seem to like them.

-They are so cute don’t you think??

You exclaim while picking up the cat in your hands and showing it to him. He furrows his eyebrows, before looking away uninterested.

-Nah, don’t get it.

-You’re always so grumpy, a bit like a cat.

-Are you comparing me to that thing??

-A thing?? It’s so cuteee!! Look! It even has a scar on its eye just like you! What are the odds!

Zoro’s cheeks slightly flush embarrassed by your comparison, while the cat and him stare at each other. He scoffs as your words ring in his head. He doesn’t see the ressemblance and doesn’t want to. A pirate like him looking like a kitten? You must be out of your mind.

-Let’s go, the others are waiting.

He says quicken up his pace as he walks away from you, still flustered. He hears your laugh echo again and soon after, your arms wrap around his as you look at him with big eyes.

-Do you think the cat is a fighter too?

He gives you a bit of a side eye wondering where you find those type of questions. He shrugs his shoulders as a smirk cover his face.

-He must be the strongest, if so.

Maybe he will consider making space for a cat in your shared cabin, maybe…

Law

Law sighs as he sees you once again bend down to pet a cat. He’s always a bit in a hurry as he’s a busy man, in his words. So he does find it inconvenient that you have this habit. The crew is walking not too far behind and he hopes to not waste any more time in this village after buying everything they needed.

-Are you done?

He asks softly, but it still comes off with an annoyed undertone and his stoic facial expression doesn’t help. You straighten your back as you give him a bit of his attitude back.

-Nah

You retort while putting your tongue out and hugging the cat in your arms.

-The cat has an ear missing..They need a doctor!

Laws mouth stays open for a little a bit speechless. He cocks an eyebrow as he looks at you.

-It’s a stray cat, they are made strong.

-Pfff, not very doctor of you, Trafalgar.

You reply while scrunching a little your nose unsatisfied with his answer. Law rubs the bridge of his nose, before getting a better look of the cat.

-Im a doctor for humans …. The ears seems like an old scar that have already been healed, so don’t worry.

He adds as he notices your uneasy expression. You smile and ruffle with the tip of your finger the fur on top of the cat’s head, happy with the news. You thank him, before letting the cat go.

-Stay safe~

You say to the cat with caring eye as you watch it walk away. Law watches with a fond smile. You take his hand and with the crew, you make your way back home.

Smoker

He exhales a cloud of smoke as he cocks an eyebrow to you petting a cat that crossed by you two.

-Isn’t it so cute!!

You exclaim with an excited expression as you focus on the small creature in front of you. You reach for your bag where you find your camera and click couple of pictures.

-What are you doing? We are wasting time.

-Im taking pictures for souvenirs!

-Of cats ?

He retorts, lowkey judging you. He thinks the behaviour is a little childish, especially when you two needs to be attentive at all time for any pirates that can cause trouble. But here you are, taking pictures of cats and petting them.

-Yeah, why not? Want me to take some of you?

You say with a teasing smirk and you stare at him this time. The man blushes a little flustered and shakes his head.

- This isn’t very professional.

-Ohh, relaaax. If some idiots want to cause trouble we don’t need to worry if you are here right ?

-U-uh yeah…

-All cool then~

You conclude with a cocky smile, satisfied as you pet another cat under the man’s confused eyes.

[teezingsiyeon]

#LEGENDARYQUOTES

“starting from today you’re my wife”

self explanatory. thinks every woman in the room is her wife. hell, even yeosang is her wife.

“I’m a wolf so… RARGH👹”

WHY IS SHE GROWLING���� she was trolled by all eight of her members after she said this in an english interview

“on the count of three, everybody say penis!” ≧◡≦

rest of ateez: 😃

“my left buttcheek is hanging out rn” 🧍🏻‍♀️

yunho, deadpanning to her: “put it back in”

“I’m going to rip your mouth off”

wooyoung. ofc it’s woo.

“let’s give just 201% of our effort tonight”

ICONIC. a quote she always uses if they’re tired before a big performance. used to express that ateez doesn’t just give one hundred or even two hundred percent. the minimum for them is excellency.

“call me oppa”

say it to her rn🔫

“THIS IS FUCKING ATEEZ”

the wind was strong, the music was loud, and it was coachella ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“just because you have a hole on your face, doesn’t make it a mouth”

truly a legendary quote she gave after getting frustrated from all the hate comments she was seeing

“‘nuna please show us aegyo-’ how old are you first of all-”

quirking her brow like 🤨

“just so you know atiny, my farts are the loudest in ateez” *smirks proudly*

*cue her members dying with embarassment and laughter*

“the lyrics are too seductive? I know, I wrote them”

well, there’s a reason she’s apart of the freak line in ateez

“set the dinner table you useless men”

listen, it’s hard being ateez’s nuna.

“guys, this is our chance to leave, our manager left the room”

hongjoong having to stop her from convincing their younger brothers like 😮‍💨

“do i have a hard time being in a group of eight men?…. where are the men?”

*her evil cackling following suit*

“im going to feed you to the fans”

“siyeon you can’t say that-”😦

“I hope people don’t just see me as a girl who dances with a group of guys, but as a human being first and foremost”

put some respect on my girls name!!!

copyright @ teezingsiyeon

[archangeldyke-all]

I don’t know if I already sent this ask bc I was half asleep lollll, but what about Sev and reader enemies to lovers but they both have food trucks. Sevika has been parking in that area for years and everyone knows her and loves her food, but readers recently parked next to her and is stealing all her coustumers. I just think it would be so cute, love uuuu💕💕

this is adorable

men and minors dni

vander and silco have been in feud for years.

silco's subs was ranked the best place to get a sandwich for ten years in a row until vander's po'boys opened up down the street.

silco's subs had a monopoly on babette's dry cuts... until vander cut a deal with the butcher herself.

and, just when silco was certain that he'd outdone his competitor: refurbishing an old van and sending sevika downtown to feed the masses of professionals on their lunch break-- you showed up in your own 'vander's po'boys van', parking across the street from where sevika's parked her truck.

you sell two sandwiches before sevika comes over to confront you.

"you've gotta be fucking kidding me!" she shouts from the back of the line forming outside of your van. you bite back a laugh at the sight of silco's assistant manager.

"good afternoon, sevika." you greet. she scowls at you.

"this is our block! at least park down the fucking street!"

"awe, but then i wouldn't get to watch you work." you tease, pouting.

sevika blushes, snarls, curls her hands into fists, then turns around and marches back toward her van.

you laugh as you watch her go.

despite all of their animosity, half a year ago silco and vander decided to put their differences aside and go out to dinner together, to settle their beef.

the beef was never settled, but vander and silco have been going steady ever since.

sevika's taken it upon herself to inherent the feud now that both of your bosses are pre-occupied with making out with one another. you'd much rather follow their lead and make out with her than fight with her, but you'll play along for as long as she needs to realize that the only reason you're teasing her so much is 'cause you like having her attention.

for days, you and sevika stand off on your street downtown. she has lock assemble sandwiches, you have ran take over for you-- and the two of you spend your afternoons arguing with one another in the middle of the street.

well, sevika argues. you just flirt.

"you're looking good, today, sev. the black apron really suits you."

"fuck off. your truck is filthy. i'm calling the health department on you."

or, "sevika! you like salami right? come try these new smoked slices we got delivered, i've been saving them for you!"

"god, can't you take a fuckin' himt? we're not friemds! i don' wan' y'r fuckin' shalami!"

"...you're eating it all though."

she's been warming up to you, you can tell. after each one of your little spats, she walks you safely across the street and back to your truck, a hand on the small of your back as she helps you cross the busy street.

you kiss her cheek each time she drops you off, and each time, she blushes darker and darker.

and today, as she's bitching about some customer who pissed her off, you decide to ask her out.

"c'mere." you guide her toward your truck. she continues her rant as you reach in the back, into the little mini fridge that carries your lunch and water. "here." you say, smiling and handing her a wrapped sandwich.

she pauses her rant to look up at you, raising an eyebrow. "a sandwich?" she asks skeptically. you huff.

"just open it." you pout. she rolls her eyes, but begins unwrapping her sub. you watch in anticipation as she eyes it, then takes a bite.

she chews, chews, then groans, and goes in for another bite. you grin.

"you like it?"

"fuckin' delicious, what is it?" she asks, moaning around a mouthful of meat, cheese, and bread. you giggle.

"i made it for you. i call it the sevika. almost every cold cut, coleslaw, pickles, peppers, all the sharp cheeses we have, but no blue because you hate it, spicy mayo--" sevika presses a finger to your lips, shutting you up. you wait patiently for her to finish chewing her bite, then lick her lips.

"you made this for me?" she asks. you nod.

"i know you're trying your best to hate me, but i think deep down you got a bit of a crush on me. so i was hoping, you know. i could give you a sandwich and ask you out to dinner?" you try.

sevika smirks. "is that so?" you nod, grinning at her. "will you make me another one of these for dinner?" she asks. you chuckle.

"i was thinkin' we could go somewhere classy. but i'll make you one for lunch every day." you promise.

sevika smiles, then brings her sandwich to her mouth to take another bite. you reach out and grab her wrist before she can, raising your eyebrow at her. "can i help you?" she asks. you giggle.

"i need an answer. and i'd prefer if you didn't kiss me with a buncha meat-mush in your mouth."

"who says i'm gonna kiss you?" sevika asks. you scoff, then smack her shoulder.

"oh, come on sev! i've seen the way you look at m--mmph!" she swoops forward and presses her lips to yours. she tastes like mayonnaise and pickles.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @vikasub @glass-apothecary @m0numents @macaroni676 @vixel352

[milaisreading]

Hi, is your request open? If so can I please request something like the bllk boys didn't know it's CD!YN's birthday because they're too engrossed on practicing and they just find out because Ego-san greeted her in the middle of lecturing them.

-Please excuse my grammar, English is not my first language TT

-also it's my birthday today so I gathered my courage to request for the first time to indulge myself (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ

Have a greet day!

🌱🩷: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK! I feel honored to write this then. Hope you like it and hope you are having a great birthday, and getting a lot of presents 🥰❤️

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. In the story the boys will be using he/him when addressing Yn. Requests for this series are open.

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

Ever since (Y/n) became the captain of the rowdy team known as Blue Lock, her life changed a lot. Whether it was for the better or for worse, she didn't know. Maybe someday she will be able to judge it better, but for now she barely had any time to sit down and think this through. With how chaotic everyone was, the JFA gave her a clear warning:

'Make sure they behave during interviews and on TV. Their behavior is a reflection of you as a captain. It is also a reflection of Japan to the world. Don't tarnish it.'

Back then she wanted to say a lot of colorful words to the old men, and she still does, but now she had little to no energy to do that. In fact, she completely forgot what day was when thanks to how hectic everything became. And just like that December 24th came, which is also (Y/n)'s birthday.

While the outside, aka fans and general public saw some ads and public congratulations for the player's birthday, the girl and other Blue Lock players stayed blissfully unaware of everything.

"Here." (Y/n) sighed as she offered some salmon on her chopsticks to Bachira. Grinning, the boy took a bite, smiling in victory as he received death stares from everyone else.

"Bachira, you can eat on your own." Isagi rolled his eyes and looked back at (Y/n), speaking more softly now.

"Please, eat your own food. You look like you need some."

"Huh... oh, I don't mind, Isagi. I need to make sure you guys are healthy." (Y/n) smiled weakly, feeling way too tired to say more.

"(Y/n), feed me too. Feed me, too!" Nagi begged, tugging on her sleeve.

"Oh, sure-"

"Nagi, you have your own hands and chopsticks. Let (Y/n) eat his own food." Reo warned from the girl's left side as Nagi pouted.

"Please~" The albino gave (Y/n) some puppy eyes, and before she could agree, a tray was put between her and Nagi's face.

"Huh?" She looked at the person who did it, only to find Barou glaring at her classmate.

"Eat on your own. And you, eat something, now. Let Bachira eat on his own."

"But I don't want to-" Before Bachira could finish, Gagamaru shoved a pastry into the boy's mouth.

"I will feed him instead. You eat something." Gagamaru said as he grabbed a displeased Bachira's shoulders.

"Yeah, let us handle it." Isagi agreed.

"But-"

They are right. You should eat something. I didn't see you during breakfast today." Karasu said from the table next to them.

"What?! Why did you miss out on breakfast?" Rin yelled in worry, and (Y/n) gulped as she felt Reo and Barou glare at her.

"I didn't feel like eating this morning." She excused herself.

'I had to prepare everything for an upcoming interview.' She wanted to say, but couldn't bring herself to burden them with it.

"Not feeling like eating? You? I have a hard time believing that." Otoya said suspiciously.

Yukimiya sighed and took his plate of food, walked over to (Y/n) and put the plate in front of her.

"What?" She asked the boy.

"Have my food, too. It can't bring you any good to miss out on food."

"Uh..."

Reo frantically nodded his head.

"Have mine too."

"You should have something high in protein, (Y/n)." Hiori agreed.

"Take my tofu, too."

"I can give you some of my veggies as well. They are sweet-sour." Niko added on.

"No, guys. It's fine. Please eat. It's more important that you all are full and-"

"It's also important that the captain isn't hungry, (Y/n)." Kunigami said, putting a hand on her head.

'Where did he come from?!' She thought in surprise.

"Seriously, I am fine-"

"That pale face says otherwise. I should give you a nice skin care day, (Y/n)! A nice Vitamin C mask does wonders~" Aryu added in, causing (Y/n) to raise an eyebrow.

"I am really fine, Aryu. Please, focus on yourselves. We can't have you tired-"

"We-we can't have you faint on the field, (Y/n)! P-please listen to us!" Tokimitsu interjected, clearly worried over the girl's health.

"Yes! You are important for the team, too!" Kurona added in.

'I am? I am just the captain... a babysitter if you will...' Well, at least that's what she was made to feel by the JFA.

"Here! I was given this new nutritious shake to try. It's good for the bones." Chigiri said, handing her the pinkish drink.

"Uh... this is your-"

"Eat!"

"And drink that!"

"You should really get some rest after, too."

"My pillow is very soft, I will give it to you."

"I will carry you to your room."

"Hold up! Hold up, everyone!"

(Y/n) grew a little overwhelmed, but thankfully everything stopped once Ego's voice appeared.

"What is this ruckus?!" Everyone stopped and looked at the screen that was showing the confused adult. Gulping, (Y/n) put her utensils down and got up.

"I am so sorry, Ego-san. This one is my fault-"

"Silence. I know it's not. And don't put all the blame on yourself." (Y/n) shut up and looked at Ego silently, the boys watching the interaction in confusion.

"Besides, why aren't you resting today?"

"Uh... The JFA-"

"Forget what those old farts said, I told you to rest today."

"Are you sure?" (Y/n) asked, unsure if she should listen. On one hand she had Ego, and on the other she had the duty to keep everything in line, for the country.

"Yes, besides, it's your birthday. Go and rest."

"Bitthday?! You never told us it's your birthday today!" The team yelled in unison, causing (Y/n) to flinch a little.

"I myself forgot... if I can be honest." (Y/n) blushed as Ego sighed.

"Go. Sleep. Now. I will deal with the JFA. The rest of you stay and finish your lunch."

Ego ordered as the room fell silent.

'Ego... will handle it.' The girl slowly nodded her head and walked out of the cafeteria as everyone watched her silently.

Once she was away, and out of earshot, Ego spoke up again.

"So... you guys want to take part in a surprise party Anri and I are preparing?"

"Hell yeah!"

"Of course!"

"Party for (Y/n)! Yes!" The team agreed, eagerly waiting for what Ego will say next.

Walking back into her and Rin's room, the girl sighed and plopped herself on her bed, cuddling into the pillow.

'Ego-san will handle it. I can rest for now.' As if a weight got lifted of off her, (Y/n) sighed in relief and started to drift into a slumber. Feeling more carefree now.

Once Ego finished instructing everyone what they should do, he turned off his camera and looked back at Anri.

"Is everything ready?"

Happily, Anri nodded her head and went through the list.

"All the ingredients and instructions are set for Isagi, Barou, and Rin. The meat, veggies, sauces, and spices for the katsu are there for Kunigami, Hiori, and Yukimiya. Bachira, Niko, and Karasu will get the balloons and decorations to prepare. Sanrio themed ones are so hard to find during Christmas, especially of that pink sheep." Anri commented as Ego nodded from time to time.

"Nagi, Reo, Kurona, and Aryu have the wrapping paper set for the presents. And lastly, Tokimitsu, Gagamaru, Chigiri, and Otoya will clean up and prepare the cafeteria. In case (Y/n) wakes up earlier than expected, I will try to distract her till everything is done."

"Ok. Everything is under control then. I will leave now." Ego announced as Anri finished her talk, causing the woman to raise an eyebrow.

"Go? Where to?"

"To talk with the JFA. Nobody treats my players like they are some no-name babysitters."

As the day went on, (Y/n) slept peacefully while the boys were moving fast to cook, bake and set everything up for the party. Anri was watching over everything, in case they needed help in the kitchen, while also keeping an eye on the monitor showing the door to (Y/n) and Rin's room.

6 hours later...

By now it was 8 PM and (Y/n) slowly opened her eyes, and sat up on her bed as she stretched.

"I feel so much better now. What time is it even?" She mumbled blinking the sleep away to look at her clock.

"8 pm... already? I slept for so long?"

She said in surprise and then looked at Rin's bed.

"Rin isn't here yet... maybe they are practicing still. I will go and join them." (Y/n) said, getting up from her bed, but before she could move more, a knock was heard.

"Huh? Yes?" She called out.

"Oh! Good, you are awake!" Otoya's voice was heard and the door opened, only for (Y/n) to see the said boy and Bachira.

"Hi, guys? Sorry for missing practice today, I will join-"

"No,no. We aren't practicing today. Come with us, Ego-san told us to get you."

Bachira and Otoya walked over to the confused girl, grabbing each of her arms and dragged her out of the room.

"Ha? Did something happen?"

"Nope!" The two said, sending each other secretive smiles.

'What did I miss?' She raised an eyebrow.

"We are here! We are here!" Bachira said happily as Otoya hummed along. (Y/n) grew even more unnerved now as she sniffed the air a little.

'Am I crazy? Why does it smell like Katsu?' She thought.

"Open the door~" The duo said.

"Are you guys pulling a prank on me?" (Y/n) asked in confusion.

"No!"

"Please, just open the door." Bachira and Otoya answered. Reluctantly, (Y/n) nodded her head and walked closer to the door, slowly opening it.

"Happy birthday!"

"There you are! We were worried you won't wake up till tomorrow!"

"Happy birthday, (Y/n)! Hope you like everything!"

(Y/n) blinked in surprise as Otoya gently pushed her into the room. Flabbergasted, the girl looked around the room, now decorated with different balloons.

'Oh... Sweet Piano balloons! How did they find them?! They are so hard to find.' (Y/n) thought, blushing in excitement as she saw them. The players silently, and anxiously, watched the girl inspect everything.

"Huh..." (Y/n) muttered, eyes widening in amazement as she saw the cake, decorated with the pink sheep.

'Not even my parents did this for me...' (Y/n) thought, feeling her eyes water up a little.

The boys watched in panic as tears started to stream down the girl's face.

"Ah?! Did we mess something up?" Gagamaru asked in worry.

"I don't know!" Hiori said back as Isagi went to hand her a napkin, which (Y/n) gladly took it to wipe her tears away.

"We... we are sorry..." Rin said awkwardly.

"Did I mess up the decorations on the cake?" Barou looked over the cake.

"I think it's my fault. The balloons look a little deflated." Niko gulped.

"Maybe we should have done a better job on them." Karasu muttered nervously as Bachira and he glanced at each other.

"I swear I made sure the katsu doesn't burn." Yukimiya flinched.

"Did I mess up the salad?" Kunigami bit his fingernail in worry.

"You... you guys did everything amazing! Thank you so much!" (Y/n) finally busted out, hugging Isagi, who was the closest to her. Isagi tensed up and blushed a scarlet red, but hugged her back anyways.

"You are the greatest team ever!" (Y/n) announced with a huge smile, causing their worries to lift, and smiles to appear on their faces.

"Happy to hear that..." Nagi sighed in relief, but tugged on her shirt.

"Huh?" She looked over at the boy, still hugging Isagi.

"I want a hug, too."

"Me too! Me too!" Kurona nodded, running up to her, followed by Gagamaru and Tokimitsu.

"Me as well. Please."

"Me-me too, if you don't mind." Slowly, the other guys joined in on the asked and (Y/n) couldn't help but laugh softly.

'These guys are the best.'

[holopossums]

Breakfast with the Baron

Breakfast is always more enjoyable when you share it with someone. Today you shared one with a certain large, pink sheep man who stole your heart and has the ring to prove it.

Mood music for peak domestic romance

Figured I'd try my hand at writing a Gender Neutral X Reader/self-insert story to accompany the art! (First time ever, ended up being much longer than I thought because of course it is, this is me you're talking about. ~1500 words under the cut.)

WARNING: Story has mild, silly suggestiveness at some points. (It's very PG-13, but just in case loving and goofy descriptions of sheep men's bodies are not your cup of Dad Fuel.)

Enjoy!

Edit: Fic is now up on AO3, you can read it there too!

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Sunlight streamed through the window in your bedroom, its rays falling on your form, and you stirred from your dreamland. Too early. You shifted so that you were facing away from the blinding light. But it was too late, you were doomed to be awake now. Bleary-eyed, you scanned your room and noted that you were alone. Not a large pink sheep man in sight. But the delicious scents coming from beyond the room indicated he was home, and that was enough to make you rise from bed.

After going through your typical morning routine, you found him exactly where you thought he'd be. Baron Draxum considered himself king of the kitchen, both at work and home, and he was wholeheartedly committed to feeding you well. Early on in your relationship with him, you wondered if he was spoiling you with so much home cooking. In time, you understood that it was his way of caring for your well-being—a love language. Now he made roughly half of your meals and you did not complain.

It was the weekend, so Draxum had gone all out even though it was early. Both of your favorite breakfast foods were on the menu. It was no wonder that you cartoonishly floated into the kitchen by following the waft of tasty smells. In addition to the meal, coffee was already brewed. A steaming hot novelty coffee mug that read "DAD FUEL" sat on the counter while Draxum cooked. Judging by the droopy eyes and a croaky, mumbled “good morning” when you entered his domain, you were sure that he would be drinking most of the coffee pot whether or not you had any for yourself.

Before you sat down at the dining table, you peered out one of the nearby windows. It was a gorgeous sunny day in June, just before the sweltering heat hit hard. These cooler summer days were precious, so you had the urge to have breakfast outside in the garden.

While the old Yōkai had finally adjusted to life on the surface, he still wasn't particularly fond of bright sunlight, as he had lived underground for much of his life. You could already hear his complaints about your idea before you even started. Still, you two had been together long enough that you knew how to effectively persuade him.

Draxum was nearly finished cooking everything. He was working the stove and had his back turned. Even from behind, his unkempt appearance was attractive—nest hair stuck out in all directions, his robe rumpled, the way he tiredly hunched over his workspace. He was like this on weekends when he didn’t have to groom himself and rush off to work. While he cleaned up well, his natural state was just as stunning. You gingerly wrapped your arms around his waist from behind, nuzzled his back, and suggested your idea. Your face was buried in his back so you weren’t using puppy eyes, but you sure were using a puppy voice, a wholly unnecessary “pretty please with a cherry on top” kind of beg. His head tilted as he thought it over. A small smile graced his aging face when he looked over his shoulder. He agreed with a nod. Your loving expression worked like a charm.

Minutes later, the sleepy sheep shuffled behind you, breakfast in hand, to a big wooden picnic table that was partly in the shade of nearby trees. Your bountiful feast was spread out, more than enough for two. Books and other entertainment were also brought along, as you planned to camp out there for the rest of the morning.

With an old man grunt, Draxum plopped down in a white chair on the far side of the table, and you sat opposite him in a matching chair. You couldn’t help but smile at the ways he was handsomely growing older. You wanted to lightly tease him about sounding as old as he looks, but you bit your tongue. With his back toward the sun, it illuminated his form and made him look ethereal. Disrupting the tranquility seemed like a crime.

Draxum was one of those people who didn’t care about much of anything too early in the day. He wasn't much of a conversationalist either, at least until the coffee kicked in, so he did not chat with you at first. Seemingly stuck in a lingering daze, he wasn’t even swatting away the gnats circling him, but every so often one of his ears flicked on reflex when one got a little too close. Again, downright adorable, but you bit the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from making any comment that would change his awareness. It was a miracle that the man managed to make breakfast as good as he did considering his state. Maybe he put in more effort to be attentive earlier, and now that you were sitting down he was letting his mind wander.

Not wanting to disturb him, you eagerly dug into your food, trying to keep your sounds of pleasure at a minimum. No words were exchanged, but none were needed. The peaceful sounds of nature accompanied you as birds sang their hearts out, squirrels scurried up and down the trees beside the table, and bugs lazily buzzed above your heads.

Perhaps it was the warm gentle breeze or a subtle movement that did it. However it happened, when you looked up from your plate, something changed about him that your eyes fixated on while you mindlessly chewed. You weren't sure how much time had passed, but you snapped out of it when you finally heard his gentle baritone rumble, still a tad raspy from overnight disuse.

"What are you staring at, love?"

Carnelians glistened with curiosity when his eyes met yours. He sipped on his coffee and did not break eye contact, more alert than before. But the tone of his question was adorably dopey and sincere, so it seemed he was still not as aware of the change as you were.

The sheep was so groggy that he failed to notice that his robe had slipped from his left shoulder, revealing half of his ample, plush chest. A nipple and scars underneath his pecs invitingly poked through. Even though you were well-acquainted with his body, the accidental half-reveal somehow made it sexier. Fortunately, there was a table between you and him. If there wasn’t, you might have been tempted to sidle up to him and bury your face in his cotton candy pillows.

It was difficult to avert your gaze from such a magnificent sight, but thankfully something else caught your eye. The wedding ring on his finger sparkled when it caught a ray of sun. It was a pleasant reminder of the promise he made to you: I am yours and only yours.

Married life with Baron Draxum was interesting, to say the least. Though he was an aggravating man at times—his vices could be counted on more than one hand and his flaws on more than two—his love was strong and steadfast. Underneath all that pride and sass, Draxum was a soft man. He liked to challenge you—your mind, body, and soul—yet never made you feel like you weren’t enough for him. Whether in word or action, in his eyes there was no one on Earth as lovely and unique as you. He had quirky ways of showing it, but he always made it known in one way or another.

Despite this, he more than made up for any of your smaller grievances with endearing moments like these.

You took your time to swallow the food you were eating, set down your fork, and think of what to say. A coy smile inched its way across your face. You leaned back and waved your hand. "Oh, nothing. Keep eating."

The old sheep squinted at you. Whether or not he could sense your playful lie, he was still too out of it to probe further. He simply responded with a soft grunt into his coffee mug, set it down, and dug back into his food.

The cotton candy pillow continued to hang out all breakfast long. Either he did not notice at all, or he did and didn't bother to fix it. If the latter, who knew whether it was out of pure laziness or because he knew giving you an eyeful was a treat. Regardless, you were not eager to point it out and ruin the fun. It was hard to call it a wardrobe malfunction when the warrior's robe seemed to be functioning exactly as the universe intended in that little moment.

A sweet domestic life with Baron Draxum was never bland. Ordinary days and regular routines were marinated with the spice and zest of the love you shared. It was your secret hope that flame would never extinguish.

You had woken from your deep slumber from the night before. At least, you thought you had. But that morning felt so heavenly and blissful that you could never be completely sure it wasn't a dream.

[azgfggf]

For a while I’ve been trying to articulate why XWP means so much to me, and I think I’ve figured it out. It seems to come from a bizzaro world where everything is just. Equal. It feels like a real feminist show because the women are so respected.

I realized this when watching episode 6 (or seven maybe?) there was a scene where Xena was imprisoned, feet chained to the floor and hands to the ceiling. A group of men came in with the express purpose to harm, and in a moment of clarity I realized that I didn’t fear for Xena in the way I did for every other female in fantasy. Fantasy (as a male dominated genre) is full of sexual violence towards women, often used as story beats or just shock. It permeates women’s real lives and bleeds into what they read for escapist fantasy. For a long time I’ve felt as if nowhere is truly safe, because most fantasy media eventually has a scene or two where a woman is violated, or a costume that’s glorified lingerie, and I have to remind myself that this genre was never made with women in mind. But that scene ended with Xena beating the shit out of them, because they tried to beat her. Not assault or grab, just punches and kicks, like men would fight in fantasy. And she fucking won because she’s Xena and she’s awesome.

Again, in many episodes men want her. But they’re never violent towards her. In the show she is treated like a man would be treated in any fantasy setting. With respect. That’s true escapism for me, some world where that kind of violence either doesn’t exist or isnt prevalent. A world so easy to make, and yet so often thrown aside because of “historical accuracy”. In fiction. The specifically not historically accurate genre where you can pull anything out of your ass and people just kinda have to vibe with that.

I’ve also mentioned this before, but it’s so rare in fantasy for women to be…carefree I guess? Most of them are jaded from past violence, or future survivors, or meek healers, or old wise women. None of which are very allowed to be silly like their male counterparts. They’re always serious, always the voice of reason. Always so reigned in from what male characters are allowed to be. Xena has a dark past, but she’s still kind. The story is still light. Women are allowed to be happy without being victimized.

XWP is fantasy first and foremost, and it works wonders. There are POC everywhere, and nobody calls attention to it because, well, that’s just how it is in Xena-land. There’s no sexual violence toward any strong women, because, well, that’s just how it is in Xena-land. People fight on bamboo poles and race chariots in rivers and the steaks only go up to “Ooooo she has to marry the big bad” which never goes anywhere because we all know Xena is gonna stop them.

Xena Warrior Princess is always gonna be my favorite fantasy show, because it’s fantasy that’s finally geared towards women. A fantasy where women are safe, are capable, are treated in the same regard as men with no quippy girl-power one-liners because nobody needs to quip about the status quo. In a genre where women are so often demeaned and violated for minor story beats or shock value, seeing a work that actually feeds into a more female fantasy is what I’m obsessed with. It’s wonderful to see a magical world where women don’t have to live in fear. Or they do, like because cyclops’s n shit but everybody else does that too.

PS: this mostly applies to modern fantasy. Tolkien and Lewis were two authors I grew up on who I largely blame for my fantasy obsession today.

[cursecuelebre]

All About Woden or Oðin

It’s going to be a bit long so I hope I won’t bore y’all.

Attributes:

War

Wisdom

Magic (Seidr or Galdr)

Death

Poetry

Runes

Healing

Divination

The elite which is the high class (historically speaking but he can still be worshipped by any class he doesn’t discriminate)

King of Asgard and Aesir

Father to men and gods

Spirits

Air and Breath

Symbols

Runes (which he gifted to mankind and sacrifice himself for)

Ravens, he has two of his own called Huginn (thought) and Muninn (Memory). Crows can be associated as well but accurately are Ravens.

The rune Ansuz

Wolves

Staffs

His spear Gungnir which will always hit its mark

A winged helmet

Sleipnir the eight legged horse, child of Loki. Horses can also be a good symbol as well.

Valknut a sigil that is representative of Death, Preparation, and Protection.

The Gungnir sigil which is a diamond with an X over in the center

Horn Triskelion which Odin’s gift of knowledge of poetry and mead

Poetry this can be written poems or songs

Wednesday or Woden’s day

His own set of books called Havamal which is basically Norse proverbs but it’s basically means “Words of The One Eyed”

Herbs/Plants/Trees: Ash trees, Elm Trees, Rowan Trees, Horehound, Parsley, Woad, Mugwort

Offerings.

Mead (Beer can be a good substitute) if you can’t get beer water or tea or coffee is fine

Meat (for his wolves it’s said that Odin doesn’t eat but drinks a lot according to mythology, but I don’t think he would be mad if you put some on the side for him)

Poetry or general music

Handmade items

Weapons (doesn’t have to be real)

Bird feed (for his ravens)

Crystals (it’s more neo pagan, but he likes obsidian a lot)

Devoted acts like writing, exercise, crafting, etc.

Any magical things

Anything associated with Horses, horses were very sacred in Norse culture. Pictures of horses, horse hair(if you can find any), drawings of horses, etc.

Ravens like raven feathers or skulls (please clean them well and ask the spirit for permission) but then again no need anything crow or Raven related same with Wolves.

Runes, bind runes, handcrafted runes, rune artwork, etc. any divination tool as well like a tarot deck.

Staffs or Wands

Depictions

There is quite few depictions of Oðin in artwork but here is common scenery, he is an older gentleman with a long bread with one eye (the lore never said which eye was sacrificed).

His wanderer aspect: It’s the one I described earlier about him looking like Gandalf, a older man in a top hat or hooded in old robes carrying a staff. This aspect is of him traveling throughout the nine realms.

Warrior aspect or King aspect: He is in his armor, carrying a spear. Sitting in a throne with his winged helmet by his side are his two wolves Geri and Freki and at his shoulders is Huginn and Muninn who are essentially his messengers but very still apart of them so that they can see everything throughout the nine realms.

His hanged aspect: Which shows him hanging upside down from the world tree by stabbing himself while gaining knowledge about the runes. He died then rose back to life fully understanding the runes we know today which he gifted to us.

Sleipnir: Oðin attain Sleipnir by Loki, Sleipnir has eight legs and was Oðin’s battle horse and accompanied him throughout the nine realms most famously known traveling to Helheim to summon a dead seer for a prophecy.

Titles

There are so many but I’ll shall put the ones that are commonly used and ones I really like and forgive me for any spelling mistakes Germanic or any Scandinavian languages isn’t my first language and I have terrible handwriting.

Aldafödr- Father of men

Alfaðir or Alföðr - Allfather

Báleygr - Feeble eye, one eyed or flamed eye

Draugadróttin - Lord of Ghosts

Foldardróttin- Lord of The Earth

Gapthrosnir - One in a Gaping Frenzy

Gizur - Riddler

Ginnarr- Decevier

Göndlir - Wand Bearer

Gollnir - Yeller

Godjaðarr - God Protector

Grimnir, Grimr - Masked one, hooded one

Hangaguð - Hanged God

Gudan - Master of Fury

Haptabeiðir - Ruler of the gods

Haptasnytirr- Teacher of The Gods

Hárbarðr- Grey Bread

Hárr - One eye

Havi- High one

Jölföðr - Yule Father

Jölnir - Yule

Oðinn- Frenzy one

Óski - Fulfiller of Desires

Runatyr- God of Runes

Sigföðr - Father of Victory

Wōden- Master of Fury

Ódr - “frenzy”, divine inspiration, breath

Wilde Jaegar - Lord of The Wild Hunt

Karl - Old man

War-Father

Long hat

Wise and Wisdom Granter

True Father

Spell caster

Shadowed face

Fool and Wise man

Sleep-maker

General Information

Commonly known as Oðin (frenzy) or Wōden (Fury) to the Anglo Saxons he is probably one of fascinating gods in Germanic/Norse Mythology. From the titles and attributes even the symbols you can tell he isn’t just one set type of God he rules and charges over countless of things.

Oðin was born to Borr along with his two brothers, Vili and Ve, Oðin is the oldest. All three brothers killed the first being in existence Ymir. Which they created the earth, sky, and sea from his corpse literally Ymir’s skull is the sky and his brain the clouds and his blood the rivers and ocean. Then him and his brothers created the first humans Ask and Embla from pieces of trunks of Ash and Oak. I should note that most of what sources we have Norse Mythology is from Christian sources so you might see some influences from Abrahamic faiths. Oðin along with his brothers Vili and Ve gave each of them a trait of life. Oðin gave breath of life, Vili gave understanding and physical movements, and Ve gave their senses.

Oðin is a god of wisdom, he is always eager for the pursue of knowledge. That is why he travels a lot. Once he came upon the Well of Mimir beneath Yggdrasil’s roots a Jotun who guarded the well who was the wisest being of all and his well and grant such wisdom. Oðin asked if he can drink from the waters. Mimir agreed but said he needed to give the well, a sacrifice, so Oðin did that he gave the well his eye that he can drink. From doing so he became very knowledgeable in the ways of magic, curing the sick, calm storms, summoning the dead, etc this lead him on to his pursuit of the Runes. By the way Mimir’s head was beheaded and to preserve his head Oðin put the head in herbs and sang spells so that Mimir can still speak to him.

Then another famous story was how he gain the runes. Oðin hung himself upside down from the Yggdrasil tree by piercing himself with his spear as he called for the runes. For nine days and nine nights he had no help but when the runes finally came to him he let out a cry falling dying. It’s said it was describe the light of the world going dark when Oðin dead but suddenly it light up again and Oðin came back alive with the knowledge of the runes. Which he generously shared with Mankind.

He is a god rules over Valhalla one half goes to him (those who die in battle) and the other goes to Freyja’s hall. He’ll lead dead warriors when Ragnorak begins.

He is the god of kings and rulers but he also is the god of tyrants as well

God of order but he does do some trickery like Loki.

He is a war god there is so many titles that have him in war context that is overwhelming lol. About frenzy, fury, spears, victory, etc. it’s also describe Oðin will bring war upon peaceful communities as well.

God of Death, he is considered to be a psychopomp

He is equivalent to Mercury or Hermes (Psychopomp, knowledge, share the same day Wednesday.) similarities between them are mostly documented by Roman historian Tacitus.

He is a God among the goths, Anglo-Saxons, Germanic Tribes, Norse, Danes, Swedish, Finnish, and Icelandic peoples

He is the God of the Wild hunt which along side him is Holda a Germanic goddess of winter and death, it’s said Santa Claus is partly inspired from him because after he is finished with his hunt will come around people’s homes dropping gifts in shoes. He is also known as the Yule-Father.

Oðin is also the god of magic of Seidr and Galdr, Seidr is like a shamanic form of magic that the Norse used. It involved divination, spirit work, chanting, spinning, meditation. Seidr historically was only socially acceptable for women to practice not men but Oðin is the one that taught men Seidr. Galdr is magic of chanting or singing, created the song to cast spells. He can send a person dreams and messages. He can also make witches go mad apparently.

He is able to summon the dead, make them alive again. 

Oðin is married to Frigga of marriage and justice and they had together Baldr, Hodr, and Hermod. But Oðin had many lovers and many children including Thor, Vali, Vidarr, Heimdallr, and many more. It’s also said that he had a relationship with Freyja even married her at one point before he disappeared however it’s not quite clear nor proven to be Oðin just speculation.

My personal experience

I will say Odin is a different type of God I encounter with. The best way I can describe it and it may sound weird but he’s like a fun grandfather. He has his wisdom and knowledge but also his sense of humor. He has helped me through a lot especially with anxiety and depression and burnout. Out of all the gods I have worked with he is the one that gives me the most dreams, the dreams are so beautiful and powerful I can’t describe them in full detail but involves magic.

Typically he loves any type of votive offering (creating the offering) like he enjoys regular offerings of course. But just using your free time to do craft something for him or do something for him he really appreciates. Writing your own poetry, studying, crafting, using your inspiration for workings, etc. divination or spellwork. He does play some playful tricks time to time.

Tarot:

Tarot cards I resonate with Oðin from my personal practice

Magician

Emperor

Hermit

Hanged Man

Death

Ace of Wands

[thewalkingwillowtree]

Safe Haven

Series Part Listing Found Here

Neteyam x Original Na'vi Female Character

Summery: Seeking refuge, Xilä and her father venture to the lands of the Omatikaya clan, in the hopes that the Toruk Makto would be generous in allowing them to stay. This is her story about not only finding her strength, but finding love. 

Warning: This story contains smut, violence & abuse (please don't read if these topics will affect you)

Some characters have been aged up. Neteyam in particular is 23.

Xilä is my own creation.

~

Part 13 - Tea

“He didn’t sleep well at all last night, he kept fussing and crying and wouldn’t settle for anything,” D’avi explained concernedly as she gently eased her baby into Kiri’s arms. 

“They are sensitive little things at this age,” Kiri said, smiling down at a whiny L’eo, shushing him softly with a comforting rock as his tiny face scrunched up in upset. “But I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about,” she soothed as she began to examine him. “Did he feed well this morning?” she asked, fingers pressing down gently on his pudgy tummy. 

“My L’eo’s got his father’s appetite. He won’t miss a meal for anything. Do you think that could be it?”

“Hmm…” Kiri peaked at his gums, examined his tail and took her time to run through every other check up she was taught to in her lessons. 

“D’av, I think it's just gas. Everything else seems fine and he’s in quite good spirits for someone who hasn’t slept much. There are a few stretches we can try to get his tummy to settle and then we’ll see if he’ll go down for a nap,” she advised, holding L’eo to her chest as she alternated between rubbing circles and patting him on the back. 

Xilä sat nearby with L’eya in the cradle of her thighs. The baby was all uncoordinated kicking feet and happy coos as she held Xi’s thumb in a firm grip- tiny tail curled contentedly. 

At three weeks old, the twins amazed Xi each time she interacted with them. It was shocking that they already had such noticeable little personalities. 

Xi had stayed over at the Sully’s last night for one of her and Kiri’s weekly sleepover sessions. They hadn’t had one in well over a month and were long overdue for some quality time together. 

Early that morning when they left the Sully residence, they decided to check in on the new mother and her adorable little ones before heading for their healer lessons. 

With the twins finally down for their morning nap, the three women lounged comfortably as they chatted and snacked on ripened fruit.

The two younger women were currently in hysterics over D’avi’s theatrics, palms over their mouths as they tried to stifle their laughter so as to not wake the sleeping infants. 

Xilä had simply asked her why Yalnïk seemed a bit grumpy when he left for the day, and her sister who seemed to have no filter, said, “Because I refused to give him sex this morning.” 

That was then followed by a frustrated rant from the new mother. 

D’vai sighed dramatically by the end of her speech. “I’m telling you, my husband's family bear extremely fertile men! When we finally decided it was time, we didn’t even have to try…he practically just touched me and poof, two babies just like that.”  

“Ahh, so that’s the problem there then…you’re afraid he will get you pregnant again, hmm?” Kiri asked behind a snicker. 

“Yes!” she hissed. “I’ve only just been cleared two days ago, and the man is insatiable!” she cried. “And it's not like I don't want to jump his bones too, because believe me I do- so badly it’s not even funny.”

“I don’t get it, what’s stopping you?” Kiri asked, trying to contain her laughter.

Xilä had been silent the entire time, cheeks a flamed from the present conversation.

“Ugh. Keep up will you,” she sassed, “I haven’t left this tent for weeks, remember? I’m only withholding it because I have no ingredients to brew the Qla’ira root tea. I refuse to get pregnant again so soon.”

“Ohhhh. Well why didn’t you just say so,” Kiri huffed, amused. “I’ll bring you back a pouch after my lessons today,” she promised. “But honestly, I feel like it’s your fate, ya know?” the eldest Sully daughter teased. “Your husband has six siblings. And each of them already have-”

“No. Just no,” D’avi said horrified as she tried to contain her laughter at the absurdity. “Listen. I am taking absolutely no chances. And I love my children, I do, but I’ll admit I’m going to miss being pregnant with them.” 

Kiri and Xi laughed at her confession. 

“I’m serious! I didn’t have to worry about getting pregnant while being pregnant. Now I’m back to drinking that bitter tea every morning if I want my fun,” she grumbled.  

“Qla’ira root tea isn't that bad," Xi laughed, finally chipping in to the conversation. “If you add a leaf from the Saf’rál plant while it brews, it actually makes it semi sweet and it doesn’t disrupt the effects of the medicinal properties,” Xilä said distractedly as she collected their empty bowls with the intention of washing them up. “I find it quite nice actually.”

The tent grew eerily quiet. 

“What?” Xi asked, freezing on the spot when she noticed the other two staring at her with slacked jaws and round eyes. Mentally running over her words, Xilä paled when she realized what she had said. “No. Wait. I- I just meant-”

“No. NO…you said what you said, Xilä. Spit it out. Since when did you start drinking Qla’ira root tea?” D’avi demanded, sitting up straight as her tail sprung high. 

The tea in question was contraceptive or better yet, one of the more effective methods the Na’vi used. And since her husband seemed to like to fuck her as if it were his life’s mission to keep her constantly full of his seed…Xilä thought that said tea was necessary. 

“D’av…” Xi whispered, unable to formulate a sentence, mind still in shock at what she had accidentally admitted. 

“Oh shit. Oh Great Mother!” Kiri exclaimed with a disbelieving laugh. “You’re bonded to my brother…aren't you? And don’t even try to lie. You just admitted to drinking Qla’ira root tea, Xi. You know only mated women drink that in order to prevent pregnancy. There’s no other possible reason you’d need it. So save your breath because it's also literally written all over your face.” 

“You guys…”

“Aha! Oh this is just hilarious,” Kiri cried, grinning so wide, she looked almost giddy.  

“Xi…” D’avi however, seemed to be needing that verbal confirmation. 

Xilä released a breath and rubbed the space between her eyes. “Um…yeah…Neteyam is my husband,” she mumbled out. 

“Xilä!” her sister yelled, a tinge of hurt poking through. 

“We were going to announce it when we got back, I promise! But then you were in labor and so many other things came up! You know with all the new security measures and my classes, then in between we were still making preparations for our tent and…I- I’m so sorry…”

A wail broke through the silence that followed, accompanied by a fussy whine. They had been too loud it seemed. 

“You stay right there Xilä- or should I say Xilä Sully. Don’t you dare move,” D’avi threatened as she got to her feet to tend to her fussing babies behind the privacy curtain. 

Xilä groaned, bowing her head in defeat. 

“So…How long were you two actually planning on hiding this then?” Kiri asked curiously, when it was just the two of them left. 

“I don’t know…We talked about it a couple times but it was never the right time. He never said it out loud, but I think Neteyam’s been trying to prolong it until my father left for good.”

“Ah.” Her friend nodded in understanding. “It’s less than two weeks away now, hm?”

“Are you upset?” Xi asked softly. 

“Not even a little,” Kiri chuckled. “I’m surprised, but I’m nothing but happy for you two…If anything it makes a lot more sense now.”

“How so?”

“Grandmother advanced your lessons further than mine. She’s teaching you things healers don’t normally learn… Tsahìk things…Which means, she knows, right?” she explained with a smile. “Then there’s also the whole drama from last night,” she said with a nonchalant shrug. 

“What drama?!” 

“Are you kidding me? Xilä, Neteyam behaved as if he was sending you off to war last night, when all you were doing was sleeping over- in my room and not his. You’d swear he was never going to see you again the way he was hanging all over you.”  

“Right…” Xi muttered, cheeks tinting uncontrollably. She hadn't seen anything wrong with his behavior last night. But thinking about it from an outsider’s perspective, she could see what Kiri was talking about. 

Neteyam had always been affectionate with her in private. And to a degree, even before they started fooling around too. Now that they were a mated pair however, her husband was every bit attentive. He gravitated to her whenever she was near- always having to hold her or touch her, even if it was in some small way or the other. 

Whether it was to link their fingers together, or drag her into his lap, to hug her from behind as they stood- his chin on top of her head or to simply curl his tail around hers whenever they sat side by side. 

And if she was being very honest, she loved it. She was a glutton for his touch. 

Kiri rolled her eyes fondly at her friend. Her next comment was interrupted however, by Sal entering the tent unannounced. The flap had been left open to allow fresh air in. 

“You are too kind my dear. It is a beautiful thought. My D’avi will love it. Come in, come in. Oh- good morning girls,” the elder said with a surprised smile when she noticed them. 

She was eagerly ushering in someone and Xilä gasped almost inaudibly when she noticed Neytiri following right behind with what looked like a gift- a lavender dyed cloth, tied off with a beaded chord. 

She remembered seeing her wrap said gift just last night after she’d eaten dinner with the Sullys. It was a birthing gift for D’avi. 

“Xi darling, did you have a good time last night? I thought you’d be off to your class by now,” Sal said, making her way over to collect their used dishes. She was such a mother. 

Xi had momentarily forgotten that the elder came by every morning to help her daughter with the twins.

“I wondered where the two of you were off too so early,” Neytiri teased. “Where is D’a-”

“Right. So how long have you been hiding the fact that you and Neteyam are mates now? I want to know every- Oh Great Mother…” D’avi’s eyes widened, palm slapping over her mouth in panic when she noticed the two newcomers. 

She’d been busy securing the privacy curtain with her back towards them, completely unaware as she’d spoken those words. 

“WHAT?!” both mothers yelled simultaneously. 

“Oh fuck,” Xilä whispered, covering her face with the palms of her hands.

Neytiri’s brows narrowed. “You are mated to my son?!” she screeched. 

“Xilä, tell me this isn’t true,” Sal said almost as loudly. 

At their outbursts, the tent was suddenly filled with the sounds of two crying babies. 

“Neytiri…Sal,” Xi whispered, standing to face them with a broken expression, trying to formulate an explanation. She would admit, their overly upset reactions had her feeling panicked. 

“Oh darling,” Sal cooed, noting her daughter’s distraught expression, closing the distance to hug her. 

“I’m s-sorry,” Xilä said, frantically. The looks alone on the mothers' faces had told her the situation was bigger than it actually was. 

Taking a deep breath, the Olo’eykte realized her reaction was over the top as well. “No, Xi. It is I who must apologize. Be calm, daughter. We are not upset with you,” Neytiri said kindly. “Please sit. We wish to know how this has happened.” 

~

The jig was up. 

The moment Neteyam walked into D’avi and Yalnïk’s tent that morning to check in on Xi, he stopped dead in his tracks. 

‘Shit. Here we go,’ he thought with an accepting sigh of defeat, feeling the sting of the stares from the women seated around the table before him. 

They knew….

He should have just left for his hunt first thing, but no, he wanted to see his mate first. 

“Um. Hi,” he said awkwardly, trying to meet his wife's gaze, but unable to since her braided hair shielded her face.

Shit. She only ever did that when she was upset. 

“Sit down,” his mother ordered through clenched teeth. It was clear as day, his mother was pissed.

As he sat beside his sister, he glanced at the other women’s expressions. 

Kiri looked amused and highly entertained. Sal eyed him with an unnerving frown, not only completely silent, but entirely still. The elder was usually a ball of constant energy, so it was quite an alarming sight. And then there was D’avi, who was currently breastfeeding her baby girl. His sister-in-law was the most bizarre- she looked… apologetic? 

“It has come to our attention that you and Xilä are mated,” Neytiri said matter-of-factly. 

Neteyam blinked, eyes shifting to try and find Xi’s again. “Yes. We are mated before Eywa,” he replied without guilt or shame. 

Something in his mother’s expression clicked. It softened into what looked like recognition.  

In actuality those were very familiar words to Neytiri. She’d said the exact same thing to her own mother many years ago. 

“My ‘Teyam, why didn’t you say before? You have taken away our opportunity to celebrate the two of you. You know our ways! We did not get to complete any of the ceremonial blessings of your union. We,” she gestured to herself and the elder beside her, “never even got to hold the official meeting of the two families,” she said in a hurt tone. 

Pointed ears falling back, Neteyam nodded solemnly. “I’m sorry,” he said sincerely, directing the apology to both women. “I’m sorry I took that away from you…I did what was best for my mate and I…and I’m sorry, but I don’t regret my actions.” 

“Of course you don’t…you have bonded for life with the woman that you love,” Neytiri said softly. “..........Does your father know?” she inquired. 

At his nod, she pursed her lips. “I take it that is why the council hasn’t approached me? They know too?” she asked, frown deepening the more she spoke. It also explained why her friend Fe’ska had seemed somewhat cold of late. “Hmph,” she hummed in hurt. 

“Mother, I know you feel wronged, but please do not be upset with Xilä, okay? She did nothing-”

“Bah! I am not upset with her! I told her as much….I will forgive you eventually, seeing that it is you who should’ve known better…I fear I will not be able to save you from your in-law's wrath however. You were selfish with your thinking,” she said disappointedly. 

Neteyam could tell she felt betrayed from all sides. The fact that not only he, but his father and the Council hadn’t said anything to her- he knew she was hurting. 

“Sal…” he started, but the elder simply brushed him off with the flick of her hand. 

“Hush now. I know why you did it that way. And as much as I want to throttle you for taking away my chance at being by my daughter’s side in the blessing rituals…well I get it,” she said, worried eyes on her youngest daughter’s still quiet demeanor. “You can apologize to me properly in the full presence of our families tonight,” she chided with a sincere smile. 

“Tonight?” he frowned, wide golden eyes darting between the elder and his mother. 

“Yes,” Neytiri said. “I have welcomed Salveen and her family to our home for dinner tonight. We will be celebrating your union. It will be our own version of the meeting of the two families- where we will still give you our blessing," she said firmly.

Neteyam was about the protest but his sister cut him off. “Shut up skxawng,” she hissed under her breath, jabbing him with her elbow. “It’s the least you can do. Look at them, they need this.” 

“Alright,” he agreed reluctantly. 

~

“Xi….Xilä! Xi wait!” Neteyam called, rushing through the encampment to catch up with her. “Xi-”

“Why didn’t you tell me!” she snapped, rounding on him with a fiery glare that was more cute than intimidating. 

“Baby-”

“No, don’t baby me right now! I didn’t even know there was supposed to be blessing ceremonies, much less a meeting of the two families and Eywa knows what else!” 

“Xi-”

“You should have told me, Neteyam!” 

Neteyam's jaw clenched at the sight of a few nearby onlookers, some leaning in to whisper among themselves as they openly stared. 

Linking his fingers with hers, he steered them further through Camp and straight into a familiar storage tent. 

It was the same one they’d used many times before to fool around in- the one that housed the wood and kindling for the cook’s fires. 

Stepping away to give her space, he faced her apologetically. “Xilä, I’m sorry, okay? I really am-” 

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” she asked again, not angrily, but more not understanding. 

He released a breath and reached out for her. “I thought I was doing the right thing,” he murmured as he hugged her close, relieved that she came willingly. “You get so overwhelmed sometimes when there’s too much attention on you. I was trying to protect you. I know you sweetheart, you would have forced yourself through all those rituals just to please everyone else.” 

“Maybe,” she agreed, “but I still would have preferred if you told me,” she grumbled into his chest unhappily. “You should have seen their faces when they found out, Teyam, they looked so devastated. We took away something they were eagerly looking forward to. It was important to them.” 

“Mm. Well, they’ll get over it,” he said, irked. She was already falling for the bullshit. 

“Neteyam!” she chastised in surprise by his retort, trying to squirm out from his hold- but he wasn’t having it. 

Lifting her by the armpits, he sat her on top a stack of thick wood slabs, caging her in with arms on either side of her thighs, face leaning down to become level with hers. 

“See, this is exactly what I am talking about. You’ve fallen for that whole act our mothers just put on,” he said sternly. “Well guess what? It would have been ten times worse if we had put up any little fight and said we wanted to do things our way. And you know what? You would’ve given in. Do you know what those rituals involve? Do you know the extent of all the ceremonies? It’s not just a simple clan gathering where you stand in the middle for two seconds and that’s it. It’s all eyes on you, baby. And that includes all the assholes who’d glare with judgement the entire time by the way. I love our family, honestly I do. But I know you, wife. You would have forced yourself to do whatever our mothers wanted, just to make them happy and you would have been miserable the entire time.”

As silence fell over them, his eyes bore into hers, breath slightly labored after his long winded speech.

“Tell me I’m wrong, Xi.” 

She stared at him unblinkingly, absorbing his words. “You’re not wrong, no…” she admitted, “but you’re not right either!” she snapped, folding her arms. “You said we don’t hide things from each other anymore. This was something we should have decided together, as a team. You should have told me no matter what. I love that you’re trying to protect me, but…please don’t take my choices away from me, Neteyam.” 

Head bowed, Neteyam released a remorseful breath. “Fuck.” 

Xilä turned to see his expression. He looked wrecked- she could tell he was beating himself up about it. Her husband could be his worst enemy sometimes. 

She cupped his face to pull him closer, arms hooked around his neck as she nuzzled her nose into his cheek. 

“I fucked up. Xi, I’m sorry. I didn’t think about it like that…” he whispered into her shoulder, shaking his head as shame filled him. 

“I think you’re just blinded by your love for me,” she teased, making him release a laugh at her joke. 

“How mad are you at me right now?” he asked, standing his full height to face her properly. 

“I'm not mad,” she frowned, pulling him into the V of her thighs by his belt. “Just- just a bit frustrated maybe. I still love you the same amount if that’s what you’re worried about,” she smiled. “We’re bound to have disagreements now and again.” 

“Wait, that’s it?” he asked. 

“What do you mean?” she laughed, staring at his confused expression- it was freaking adorable. 

“You forgive me? Just like that?” 

Xilä rolled her eyes, amused by her husband’s reaction. “Neteyam. I’m not going to make you jump through hoops for my forgiveness. We both communicated our feelings on the matter…We’re good.” 

“Alright...Well would you at least let me make it up to you then?” he requested, eyes suddenly glinting with mischief as a hand crept up the inside of her top to fondle her breast. 

“Oh you’re so slick, huh?” she mused. 

“Maybe a little,” he shrugged. “You know they say make up sex is supposed to be really hot,” he taunted against her lips, his free hand hooking behind a knee, steadying her when he rocked into her core once, letting her feel his growing intention. 

“Make up sex?” she echoed with a humored frown, squirming to get him to rock into her again.  

“Mhm. We just had our first fight. So now we have to make it all better.” 

“Oh really?” she sang, dropping her head backwards while he peppered kisses along the column of her neck. 

Xilä gasped when he bit her lightly, teasing her with his tongue and teeth. 

“Mmmm. Handsome I can’t though. I’m way past late for my lesson with your grand-” 

“What is it that you’re always saying?” he pondered, fast fingers untying the knot of her skirt. “Ohhh right. We can be quick about it,” he mimicked in a girlish voice. 

She laughed and fixed him with a playful glare. “I do not sound like that. Is that how you think my voice sounds?”  

“Just one please, Teyam,” he imitated again, baring her hardened nipples with a simple tug, smiling down at them as if they were long lost friends finally being reunited. “That’s exactly how you sound, baby. Where’s my greedy mate gone today? Hm?” he taunted again. 

Neteyam stopped his pawing to smirk at her, enjoying the way she bit her lip in contemplation. “I missed you last night,” he confessed, voice low in honesty. 

“I missed you too, handsome. We should talk later…now that everyone knows, I want us to move in together…please?”

“Yes. Fuck yes. We’re moving in tonight. I don’t care how late this dinner goes,” he said urgently, nodding his head vigorously. 

Xilä laughed out loud. He was like a child finally being granted his favourite treat. 

“Okay,” she agreed, “So then we can just do the make up sex later then, yeah? I don’t want to walk into your grandmother’s tent smelling of you. I’ve been mortified enough for the past few months alone,” she chucked, trying to sit up and right her strewn top. 

“Mmmm, yeah I guess,” he said reluctantly before deciding something else. “Lemme eat you out at least,” he grumbled, going onto his knees with much determination, causing to laugh out loud again. 

“Wait, hang on,” he said, mere inches away from her damp center. “How did they find out about us anyway?” he asked, peering up at her. 

“Ummm. I, well I may have let it slip that I drink Qla’ira root tea,” she admitted, fiddling with one of his braids sheepishly. 

Neteyam rolled his eyes. “That damn fucking tea,” he grumbled before turning back to his task. 

Xilä’s amusing chuckle turned into a moan.

Her husband apparently had a rivalry with said tea. He’d glare at it every time he saw her drink it. 

He pulled back to grin up at her with shiny lips. “Are you going to stay nice and quiet for me, sweetheart?”

~

Neteyam anxiously waited at the threshold of his home for the arrival of his mate and her family that evening. 

Sal was all smiles when she greeted him first. One arm full with a beautifully assembled arrangement of flowers which he assumed was a gift for his parents. She patted his cheek affectionately, with a, “Hello my dear boy,” before heading inside without needing an invitation.  

D’avi was right behind her, juggling two wiggling babies. “Here,” she said with a tired yawn and dark under eyes, handing him an infant in greeting. “Have some practice.” And then she was gone. 

Blinking down at the tiny squirming baby girl in his arms, Neteyam felt himself begin to panic when she released an unhappy whine. 

Muscle memory kicking in, he adjusted her more comfortably in the cradle of his arms, bouncing her gently the same way he used to with Tuk. 

“Hey, hey. None of that, you’re okay. It’s alright,” Neteyam soothed. “Don’t worry L’eya, I’ll talk to your mom about just handing you off without warning. But we’ll give her a break for now, she’s probably tired, yeah?” he smiled. 

L’eya’s face scrunched up into a cute pout, unsure whether to cry or not, big golden eyes peering up at him in uncertainty. But then she eventually settled, letting out a surprisingly loud coo as she stretched. 

“Hey man, cute baby,” Yalnïk teased when he arrived a few moments after- arms overfull and ladened with a bounty of items. 

“Hey…Ah, what’s all of this?” Neteyam asked in alarm. 

“Fuck if I know. Gifts I’m assuming. My mate and mother-in-law just said to bring ‘em. I’m not going to ask questions.” 

“Smart man,” Neteyam laughed, wiping away a bit of drool flowing down L’eya’s chin. “Xi and Jxo behind?” 

“Yeah, I believe they were finishing their chat …Speaking of,” he continued, using his chin to catch a parcel that almost went tumbling, nudging it back into place. “Brother…you and Xi,” he said disbelievingly. “You’ve got balls, I’ll give you that.” 

Neteyam scoffed at the man’s comment, amused all the same. “How’d Jxo seem?” he couldn’t help asking.   

“I honestly can’t tell. But hey, a word of advice, use the baby. Great shield.” 

“Yalnïk, I’m not going to use you kid to-” 

But Yalnïk was already making his way inside, citing that his arms were getting tired. 

Xi and Jxo were the last to show up. Hurrying ahead of her father when she spotted him, Xilä was practically swooning at the sight of him holding baby L’eya. 

“Hi handsome,” she said sweetly, leaning up to give him a peck on the lips. “You look good holding a baby,” she whispered, biting her bottom lip appreciatively.  

“Are you getting ideas sweetheart?” 

“Maaaybe,” she sang, shaking L’eya’s hand gently, smiling when the baby kept trying to pull her finger into her drooly mouth. 

“Don’t tempt me Xilä Sully,” he said with a low growl, darkening eyes firmly set on his wife’s face. If he had his way, she’d be fucking pregnant already. 

Jxo approached just then, stopping whatever comment she was about to make and halting the naughty thoughts swirling in both their heads. 

“Xi, why don’t you head in darling. I want to have a word with my…son-in-law,” the elder said, narrowed glare forcing Neteyam to swallow uncomfortably. 

“Alright. Want me to take her?” she asked her mate, referring to the little one in his arms. 

“Uh,” Neteyam shot a glance at the elder. “No babe, I think I’m good,” he replied, shifting the infant higher up his chest so her cheek rested against his shoulder.  

It was almost comical how tiny the baby was in comparison to the large palm supporting her bobbing head. 

Mirth danced in Xilä’s eyes at her husband’s response and obvious shift to display the baby better. She’d seen Yalnïk pull the same move before. 

“Okay, I’ll just head in then,” she said with a piercing glare, darting between the two men as if saying behave. 

L’eya sucking on her thumb, accompanied by her soft sighs and baby hums were the only sounds heard for the following few moments. It was an awkward silence, and Neteyam couldn’t get a good read on Jxo’s expression for shit. So he stayed quiet until the man addressed him. 

Clicking his tongue, the elder’s gruff voice rang out. “Look…I’m not happy about the way you went about all of this. Fuck if I didn’t get a frustrated earful from my wife…but I get it. You did it for Xilä.” 

“I did,” Neteyam said firmly, glancing down with a quirk of his lip when he felt L’eya’s tail tickle the back of his hand as it wiggled around lazily. 

“I don’t agree with it, but if Xi wasn’t who she was- if I didn’t know that this was the best way for her, we’d be having a very different conversion,” he said, arms folded and still serious faced. 

“I’m sorry, Jxo,” Neteyam apologized sincerely, he knew he owed him that much. 

The elder nodded. “Yeah well, my kid’s happy, so- that’s the most important thing,” Jxo said. “Now listen here, I’m going to tell you the same thing I told Yalnïk…You’re her husband now, not her little boyfriend. That means something. Understood?”

Neteyam smiled, shaking his head up and down in understanding. “Understood,” he echoed. 

“Good…Now hand over my granddaughter,” his father-in-law said with a surprising full blown smile. 

~

Although at the start, Neteyam was fidgety and awkward, the dinner, as it turned out, was a surprisingly lovely affair. 

Since the moment Xilä and her family had arrived that evening, he had been a ball of nerves.

It was the oddest thing, he didn't have any reason to be nervous but yet the sight of both their families mingling in one closed knit space had him crossing every toe and finger, hoping all went well. 

Specifically for Xilä. 

Neteyam kept glancing at his wife to make sure she wasn’t uncomfortable in any way, constantly checking in.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” he asked for probably the fifth time that evening. 

“Stop,” she hissed under her breath with an amused grin. 

“What? I’m just checking to-”

“Shh. Look,” she said, jerking her head at the sight before them covertly. “Look at our family,” she whispered, smiling eyes already staring. 

Taking his time to observe, Neteyam started on his left where his brother was seated, around the large round table. 

Lo’ak and Yalnïk were in a heated debate over the best fishing tactics- the older man shaking his head vigorously in disagreement. 

“No way man, you’d get yourself killed if you pulled a stunt like that! Remind me to never take you fishing, Lo’ak,” he joked, slightly horrified over whatever crazy idea Lo’ak had just described. 

Tuk had squeezed herself between Yalnïk and his wife the moment they all sat for their meal, and D’avi was currently showing her how to hold a squirming baby L’eya, adjusting the overexcited seven year old’s arms accordingly. 

Then, next to D’avi, were Sal and Neytiri who spoke softly to each other. Neteyam’s brow raised at the sight. 

Salveen was a naturally loud and boisterous woman, he could tell she was trying to be calm and distinguished in the presence of his parents. Sal held high respect for his mother, he knew.

He’d dare say it was almost adorable to see her complement his mother on her taste in home decor. 

Beside his mother sat his grandmother and his sister. The two women were completely smitten with baby L’eo. Mo’at may be a stern and no nonsense Na’vi, but the elder completely melted when it came to younglings. “They are our future,” was what she’d always said. 

Lastly, making the last of the round table, was his father and Jxo. Slowly sipping on their fermented wine, they seemed to be in their own world. 

Straining to make out their words, Neteyam fought off a blush when he realized they were talking about him and his “poor attempts” of sneaking into Xilä’s room.  

Jake followed the elder’s story by beginning to share an embarrassing one of his own about his eldest son. 

“Dad!” Neteyam cried, hastily covering his wife’s ears. She was right next to Jxo and soaking up everything that was being said. “You promised never to repeat that incident.” 

“I did no such thing,” Jake laughed. “Close your ears if you don’t want to hear then.” 

“Babe, don’t listen to him,” he told Xi, bodily lifting her to his other side with ease, between him and Lo’ak, causing the entire table to burst into laughter over his behavior. 

When things settled again, Xilä pressed up into his side- cheek to shoulder. “Do you see it then? They’re all here for us. It’s amazing isn’t it?” she mused quietly, still peering at the different interactions in front of them. 

Neteyam nodded, it was in fact an amazing sight- their both families mingled as one.

Kissing the top of her head, he felt her closeness wash over him, calming his anxiety from before. “I love you Xilä Sully.”

As they feasted, the conversations changed with rapid fluidity. 

At one point when Lo’ak asked, Kiri relayed the story of how Sal and Neytri had accidentally found out- keeping of course the entire Qla’ira root tea topic out of it. 

The moment she said the words, “and then Neteyam goes, We are mated before Eywa,” Mo’at shocked them all by releasing a loud bark of laughter.

Slacked jaws and raised brows all around, the Tsahìk simply glanced at her daughter and then at her son-in-law. “Sound familiar?” she asked them knowingly with a delighted gleam in her eyes. 

Unbelievably, Neteyam’s parents turned embarrassed, with tinted cheeks and flattened ears. 

The rest of the night went just as wonderful. 

When it was finally time, Neteyam and Xilä stood before Mo’at while she sang a chanting prayer, waving a burning piece of incensed bark as she blessed their union. 

The Tsahìk’s words held strong meaning and Xilä’s eyes filled with tears as she stared up at her mate, even Neteyam felt his own prickle. 

Sal, Jxo, Neytiri, Jake. Each took their turn to complete the blessing ceremony. They were all proud grins and teary smiles. 

The final step was a bit of torture for Neteyam. 

Fingers dipped in bright pigmented paint, he and Xilä took turns to trace over the lines of each other’s face and body. 

Neteyam had to remind himself they were in the presence of their family. He couldn’t ravish his wife the way he very much wanted to at that moment. 

She was beautiful- cyan skin glowing beneath his artwork. 

By the time the evening turned well into the night, two groups broke off around the main room of the Sully tent. 

The women surrounded Xilä as she opened gift after gift. Housewarming tokens consisting of soft cushions, blankets and delicately sewn decor pieces that Sal had slaved over in secret. 

There was a beautiful set of wooden crafted bowls, cutting boards, little pots for spices and even a hand carved knife set for cooking- all made by Jxo. 

Meanwhile, Neyeam and the other men continued to lounge around the family table, enjoying a Na’vi game his father had once described as “a complicated version of chess.” 

Kiri had handed him baby L’eo before she left to join the others across the room. Whereas D’avi eased L’eya into his brother’s arms since her husband and gone to relieve himself. 

Lo’ak who was completely taken by surprise, was awkward in his handling of the infant. 

The baby stared at him for a few seconds before she instantly began to wail. The sight of Loak’s panicked and horror struck expression had all the men in hysterics. 

Then, as if sensing his sister’s distress, L’eo too followed by bursting into tears- cheeks staining purple as his features scrunched up in anger, tiny fists clenched tightly. 

Yalnïk arrived back just in time and took pity on Loak, taking his baby girl into his arms and calming her in seconds with a familiar Na’vi song and little pats on her back. 

Neteyam had just gotten L’eo to settle down as well when he locked eyes with his wife across the room. 

She looked away with a blush having been caught staring. 

~

The following day Xilä was a ball of excited energy. 

Tsahìk had kindly given her a few days off from her lessons which she absolutely appreciated, because it was time.

It was finally, moving day!

Their tent was bigger than most residential ones but far smaller than the Sully’s grand home and it was situated in a newly developed community on the western side of the clan. 

All morning Jxo and three of his woodwork guys were a flurry of coordinated efficiency. They were in and out as they brought in beautifully crafted furniture, one after the other. 

The men double checked and made sure the tent’s beams were secure and even installed the privacy drapes for her and Neteyam’s bedroom. 

Xi grinned as she watched them test the tent’s ventilation by lighting the indoor stove in her little kitchenette. The wood and kindling fueled stove was a neatly dug hole in the ground which was casted by hardened clay. 

Jxo really went all out for them.

People kept stopping by as well, congratulating them on their match. Word had gotten out by now about her and Neteyam. And the overwhelming support and genuinely happy persons over their union was both surprising and beautiful. 

The gifts and cooked food and treats kept coming as well. Xilä had no choice but to designate a corner of the tent for the ever growing pile. She’d have to sort through it all later, but she was immensely grateful. 

Neteyam, who had disappeared a while ago, returned with a heavy looking roll which was hefted onto his shoulder. He surprised her when he unrolled it to reveal a large colourful tapestry. 

“Teyam! You didn’t!” she exclaimed in shock, running her fingertips across the intricately beautiful design in disbelief. 

“You said you wanted one with all the colours from Sal’s friend,” he said with a shrug, obsessed with the way she was practically shaking in excitement. 

Without warning, she was surging onto the balls of her feet, arms around his neck to pull herself up his body, granting her access to pepper kisses all over his face. 

“I”- she kissed his cheek- “love”- nose-“you”- chin - “so freaking much,” she mumbled against his lips, uncaring of the chuckles from men around them working. 

Neteyam beamed, absorbing all her attention without complaint. 

“Alright, alright. Cut it out before I lose my breakfast,” Jxo grumbled from where he was crouched. He’d been adding a few finishing touches to the design he had carved on the large round table he built for them.

And despite his complaining, there was no actual bite to his tone. What was even more shocking was the covert nod of approval he sent Neteyam for making his daughter happy. 

Around lunch time Jake, Lo’ak, Yalnïk and his twin arrived. Between the four of them they heaved Neteyam’s heavy and massive hammock in, placing it where Xilä directed them to. 

Sal and one of her elderly friends showed up shortly after with basket ladened arms. They’d brought lunch for everyone, including two flasks full of freshly squeezed yovo juice. And to combat the midday heat the flasks had been left to chill in the river, so the juice was not only sweet but beastly cold. 

With the help of his mother and sisters, Neteyam only needed to make two trips, to and from home to move in his belongings. 

By late evening, when the men packed up their tools, and there was nothing else much for anyone to do, Xilä thanked them all profusely with the promise of making them each one of her Honey Cornbread loaves, to which the Olo'eyktan, nodded eagerly as he rubbed his hands together in excitement. 

When Jake had first tried her experimental sweet and savory loaf, he was flat out ecstatic. He inhaled an entire loaf on his own, complimenting her on how amazing it was. Her father-in-law had said the flavors tasted familiar to him. He’d said it reminded him of honey and cornbread, from back on earth. And so the name was born.

Sal, Jxo and Lo’ak were the last to leave. While her mother swept the tent one final time with a large feather-like leaf, Xilä hugged Jxo for a long time. She was feeling emotional for some reason. 

Neteyam watched the little family from where he stood arranging his weapon collection. When Salveen joined the hugging pair, the trio were all teary smiles and hushed whispers as they said their goodbyes.  

He made his way over when they eventually broke apart, leaning down to accept his mother-in-law’s kiss on the cheek, then clasping arms with his father-in-law, promising them again that he’d take care of their daughter. 

Hugging her from behind, he and Xi stood at the threshold as they watched her parents leave. 

“Thinking of running after them?” Neteyam joked quietly, tilting to kiss her pointed ear. 

“No. Why? Do you want to give me back to them already?” she teased, rubbing the muscled forearms circling her torso. 

“Never,” he hissed, nipping the tip of her ear and licking it to soothe the sting. 

“So I’ve been thinking-” Lo’ak said out loud, making the both of them jump. 

“Fucking hell Lo’ak!” Neteyam said, irked. 

“What? What did I- oh I see how it is, you forgot I was here…didn’t you,” he accused through a narrowed glare from his lounged position against an assembly he made of cushions. 

They’d been gifted so many cushions. 

Xilä felt her cheeks heat up. “Sorry,” she said apologetically, while her husband couldn’t be bothered. “You were saying, Lo’?”  

She returned to the table to continue folding the pile of clean laundry she had been working on before. 

Lo’ak popped another cluster of roasted ovumshrooms into his mouth first. “Right so I’ve been thinking- oh don’t give me that look, you two! You haven’t even heard the idea yet.”

Xi pursed her lips to stifle her laughter. Neteyam however plonked himself next to her, snagging an item from the pile to help her fold. 

“So you know how you don’t know when your birthday is, Xi?”

“Mhm,” she hummed distractedly, covertly snatching and hiding her undercloth from her clueless husband who was openly trying to figure out how to fold it. 

“Well, how about we give you one?”

“What?” she asked, head flickering to him as she paused mid task. 

“You always have to guess when the year’s up to know your age, correct?”

At her nod, he continued, “And you said you were nineteen when you first showed up here, right?” She nodded slowly again. “Well let’s give you a birthday then,” he shrugged. 

“Um, alright,” she said with a hesitant smile. “When do you suggest?” 

“Tomorrow,” he said without hesitation. “Once a year the txep syulangs go into hibernation, and when they do, they cast this glow for the entire day, all through the forest- the women go gaga over it,” he explained with a sarcastic eye roll. “Anyway, I think it’s the perfect day for your birthday.” 

“Lo’ak…that is so sweet of you,” Xi sighed out. “Isn’t it sweet, Teyam?” she asked, turning to her mate.

“Mhm, very sweet, babe. But what’s the catch bro?” Neteyam couldn’t help asking. 

“Neteyam!” she chided. 

“I have to ask, sweetheart. It’s Lo’ak!”

Xi side-eyed her brother-in-law who was grinning a little too wildly. “......Is there a catch?”

“Maaybe, just a little one- but it’s good! Promise. I  was thinking we could hold a party…here.” 

“There it is,” Neteyam snarked with a knowing nod, placing Xi’s folded top in the completed pile. 

~

With Lo’ak finally gone, Neteyam pulled down the flap of their tent, securing it closed. He made a mental note in his head to get a set of the bamboo chimes made- the ones his wife wanted in order to alert them they had visitors. 

“I can’t believe it. We have a home of our own together,” Xi smiled, walking out of their room where she had been putting laundry away. “You and me.”

“Do you like it?” he asked, looking around like she was, admiring the decor and feminine touches she had added. It felt like a home- their home. It was the perfect combination of the two of them, and the sight of their belongings all cluttered together or neatly arranged, endured him. 

“I love it,” she grinned, hugging herself. “We don’t have that much to complete now. Just that pile of gifts to sort through.”

“What are you talking about? We have loads to do still, baby,” he said, sitting back with a comfortable groan on the cushions Lo’ak had abandoned. 

“Like what?” 

“See that table? And that mat, and that beam, and the next beam and the-”

“Neteyam,” she laughed, cutting him off. “I see them.” 

“We have to christen them,” he said seriously. “All surfaces to be exact.”

Catching his meaning, Xilä flushed. “Oh.”

“Yeah baby. Oh.” 

That evening Neteyam made love to her all over their home. 

He ate her out against one of the beams while she struggled not to collapse, trembling thighs propped on his broad shoulders which held her up, fingers fisted in his braids. 

He took her from behind as she laid face down across their center table, screams muffled in arms while he kept whispering in her ear, telling her how good she was, how good she was taking him, how he was going to fill her up until she was swollen and round.

She jerked him off against another one of the beams, sinking to her knees to finish him off by sucking him down her throat. Silver eyes watering as she choked and gagged. 

Then, much later, after they’d taken a break to clean themselves up and have their first meal in their new home together, Xilä rode him in their bed. 

Tsaheylu made- always Tsaheylu made, he guided her, large palms circling her ribs, thumbs brushing under her jiggling little tits as she bounced and rocked and jerked in his lap- panting and moaning into his mouth. 

“Touch yourself, sweetheart. I want to see you come all over me,” he ordered gently, and without further instructions needed, she reached a hand down to where they were joined, to work over her swollen clit.

Neteyam was always feral for the sight. She had come such a long way he thought. When he and Xi had first started fooling around, it wasn’t hard to tell that she was completely inexperienced. She hadn’t ever been touched, nor had she even known how to do it to herself. 

Eyes glazed over, the memory of the night he taught her how to please herself- the memory of her legs spread wide as she chased after her fingers- the memory of expression when she came, back arched and breathy mewls- it gave him push he needed to fall over the edge, pumping her full while she rode out her own orgasm, screaming his name- always his name.  

He groaned into her sweaty neck, panting as their frantic pace slowed into a sensual roll of their hips, drawing out the sensation even further. 

Slumping back against the many little pillows and cushions behind him, he kept her close, fingertips slowly dancing up and down her spine. 

“How do you feel?” he asked with an uncontrollable yawn. 

“Limbless,” Xi answered, propping her chin between his pecs to smile at him. 

Eventually falling into a light slumber, Neteyam blinked awake when he felt Xilä ease off his chest. He heard her wince slightly when he slipped out of her swollen folds. 

“What are you doing?” he croaked, ignoring the soaked appendage that smacked his lower abdomen when he popped out of her. “Come here, baby.” 

Cuddling into his side, Xilä nuzzled his neck as she got comfortable. 

Neteyam had learned early on that Xilä was extremely clingy in bed- she was a glutton for his warmth. 

Unable to help himself, he slipped a hand between her thighs. “Did you drink your tea?” he asked. 

“Mm, yeah. I had it at breakfast,” she responded, eyes closed as fatigue slowly consumed her. 

“Sore?” he asked, sticky digits still stuffing back escaped drops. 

“Not bad,” she mumbled. 

“Can I?” 

“Mhm,” she hummed, pecking his sternum. 

Pulling a thigh up his hip, he guided his tip back to her entrance and slipped all the way in again, right to the hilt. 

“Good?”

“Good.”

Joined as one by both Tsaheylu and intimately, they slept. 

~

Earth music blasted from a borrowed speaker in the corner of the main room. The center table had been moved to the side, creating space for a dance floor, and the distinctive smell of booze lingered in the air. 

Lo’ak had talked them into having Xi’s birthday party in their home the following night. With the promise to keep the invitees at a minimum and also that he’d plan and organize everything- including the after party clean up, they had agreed. 

So far things were going smoothly, but Neteyam wasn’t holding his breath. His brother had joked that he should dislodge the thing from up his ass for just one night and let loose and relax. 

But Neteyam was anything but relaxed. 

He sat idly chatting with a few of his and Lo’ak’s warrior buddies, eyes cutting to his wife almost every other second. She was dancing of course, doing dangerous and taunting moves with those hips of hers, unaware of the attention from other males she was receiving. 

Neteyam openly glared at anyone who so much as peaked her way, famous side-eye slicing through the fools who were bold enough to try. 

And as much as he wanted to kick everyone out of his home, he refrained. His wife was excited for this party. She had given his brother a bone cracking hug when he arrived with a birthday cake for her- one just like Tuk’s own a few months ago. 

If anything, Neteyam felt like Jxo at the moment. All that mattered was that she was happy, even if all he wanted was to scoop her up and hide her away from prying eyes. 

Lost in thought, he misplaced her for a moment. Scanning the room, he found her at the threshold, chatting with a new arrival. 

Staring hard at the familiar Na’vi she was laughing with, he glared hard when whatever she had said made the male’s cheeks tinge as he bowed his head politely. 

The next second of activity had him getting to his feet to make his way over. 

W’aote, Lo’ak’s friend had approached the chatting pair and swung his arm around Xi’s shoulders, pulling her in for a hug that was too friendly for his taste. 

A clearing of his throat and a pointed glare was all it took for W’aote to to snatch his arm away and take a wide step back from Xi, ears pinned to his head as he shot Neteyam a sheepish, apologetic expression. 

“Neteyam, we meet again,” the familiar male said happily, offering him a gesture of respect, “I am Ze’lu.”

Slim arms wrapped around his waist. “Ma’Teyam, be nice,” Xi whispered, covertly pinching him in the side. 

Forcing a polite smile, Netyam returned the gesture of respect with his free hand, the other had wormed its way up to cup the nape of Xi’s neck, effectively keeping her pinned to him. 

“My sister,” Ze’lu continued, introducing the small woman at his side Neteyam hadn’t noticed before. “Kah’lee.”

No wonder he hadn’t noticed her. Kah’lee in question had been completely hidden by her brother’s built. If Neteyam thought Xilä was small, Kah’lee was tiny- not human sized, but still small for a Na’vi woman. 

Nodding politely again after another jab to his side, he responded. “Nice to meet you, welcome to our home,” he said far too dryly before making their excuses to quickly drag Xilä away. 

~

Later on, Xi had been chatting with Kah’lee and W’aote who had shown up at her side again that night, when she spotted a familiar face lingering at the tent’s entrance. 

Excusing herself, she wove her way through the crowd of bodies, heading right out the tent and down the stone steps. 

“Leati!” she called at the retreating figure. “Are you not coming in? Why are you leaving?”

The gorgeous warrior turned and cocked her brow, arms folded with a scowl. “I told you already, I made no promises that would come by.” 

Xilä smiled, unfazed by her bitchy tone. “And yet you are here. I would not have invited you if I didn’t want you here, Leati,” she assured.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” she snapped. 

“Would you prefer it if I treated you unkindly, called you names and told you terrible hurtful lies?”

Leati swallowed uncomfortably. 

Huffing with an amused laugh. “Look. I’m not going to force you. But you should know there’s a spread of delicious food, lots of strong drinks and the most amazing cake that was made by my mother. So if you change your mind…” 

Xilä walked off without another word and headed back into the party. 

~

It was hard to keep up with his wife that night. Xilä was the most social he’d ever seen her be. 

She was quite the social butterfly, ping ponging all over the room as she seemed to want to have conversations with each and everyone in attendance.  

He would have had no issue with that before when there were only about fifteen people in attendance, but with every minute that flew by, someone new kept showing up. 

Now his home was packed. Not only that but the music seemed louder, people were screeching as they chatted, he had to kick out a couple who were very close to becoming indecent in their bed and he also had an ever growing migraine. 

“Lo’ak,” Neteyam growled, catching his brother by the scruff when he whizzed by, hands holding two large suspicious looking flasks. “Who the hell are all these people?” 

“Uhh, friends?” Lo’ak replied with a charming smile, fumbling with the pitchers in his hand. 

A familiar giggle had Neteyam’s head turning, and the sight alone had his blood boiling. Xilä stood with an unfamiliar male, laughing out loud at whatever he was saying, she patted his shoulder, tossing her head back in hysterics. 

The male's arm snaked around her waist when she was bumped from behind, stumbling right into his arms. 

“Oh yeah? Well then why don’t you tell me who the fuck currently has his hands all over my mate!” 

“Oh shit. Um, I don't actually know him- wait hey bro! Dammit.” 

Lo’ak hastily handed over the booze in his hands to the nearest person and scrambled to follow his brother. Neteyam was usually the responsible, calm and level headed brother. But Lo’ak knew that when it came to Xilä, all sane thoughts left his brother's head. 

“Do you mind unhanding my wife,” Neteyam all but growled as he tugged Xilä into his arms for the second time that night. 

“Neteyaam! Hiiiii my handsome! Look, this is my friend Villoon!” she slurred excitedly, spilling the contents of whatever it was she had in her cup. “Oopsie!” 

The male Na’vi who had raised his hands in surrender when Neteyam had murderously approached, winced. “Its- its Vilhon actually, and um she tripped, I was just steading her. We were only-”

But Neteyam had already blocked out the blabbering man, eyes on his wife instead. “Xilä,” he said, lifting her jaw to see her face clearly. “Are you drunk?” he asked disbelievingly, searching over her glassy eyes, flushed cheeks and lazy smile. 

“Oh fuck,” Lo’ak murmured, grabbing the cup out of her clutches and handing it off to a tipsy bypasser. 

“Shhhhh, don’t tell my husband,” she laughed giddily, stumbling over her own two feet when she tried to squirm out of his hold. “Wait, where’d my-my drink go?” she pouted. 

“Was this you?” Neteyam hissed at his brother, bodily restraining his writhing wife. “What did you give her?!”

“J-Just a bit of Spir’ytüs…I told her to sip it! I didn’t think she’d drown half a cup!” 

“Just a bit of Spir’ytüs?! Are you insane? That stuff is fucking potent!”

“I know! I-”

“You are very very tall,” Xilä suddenly said, reaching up to squish his cheeks together. “And very handsome,” she whisper-yelled. “I bet you’d make some really cute babies,” she said just as loud as she felt up his chest, causing Lo’ak to choke on a laugh.  

“Um, thanks babe,” he couldn’t help reply, halting her roaming hands. “Bro, get her some water, will you?”

“Yeah man,” Lo’ak said eagerly, relieved to make his escape for the moment. 

Guiding her over to a corner of the room, Neteyam crouched in front of her as she slumped into a pile of cushions.  

“Oh Great Mother, I love this song!” she suddenly squealed, “Kiri and I listen to it alllllll the t- I have to dance!”

“Nope,” he said seriously, catching her around the waist when she tried to escape. “We’re staying right here.” 

Xilä blinked at him with unfocused eyes. “You’re grumpy.”

“Yes.”

“Why?” she frowned sadly, forcefully crawling into his lap, uncaring about his personal space as she plastered herself to him. 

He made no fuss at the contact, helping her get comfortable, but quickly pulled his face away when she almost head butted him. 

“Because all night you have been testing my patience, Xilä. You’re ridiculously unaware of all the attention you’ve been getting and the one time I leave you to your own devices for a minute too long, you’re fucking intoxicated. Also, who the hell are all of these men you’re suddenly friends with?” 

“Wait, a-are you jealous?” she asked between a fit of titters. “T-that’s why you’re so up-set?” she hiccupped. 

Neteyam sighed, jaw working as he stared at her, unamused. “I don’t see how that’s funny. Am I not allowed to be upset when other men gawk at you or when they insist on putting their hands all over you?” 

Xilä beamed. “You’re so jealous, handsome. It’s so cuuuute,” she sang, wiggling in his lap in time to the beat of the song playing. 

“Shit. Don’t do that sweetheart,” he grunted, grabbing hold to still her hips. 

Unperturbed, and suddenly needy, she began to press kisses along his neck. 

“Xi-” his eyes screwed shut when she sucked on a sensitive spot. 

The moment her hand tried to sneak between them however, he snagged her wrist and pulled her away from him. 

“Xilä stop it!” he said firmly. 

His jaw dropped when tears welled in eyes and she began to cry. 

“Baby, why are you crying? Shit, I’m sorry,” he said gently, cupping her face tenderly. 

“I don’t know why I’m crying! I just am!” she snapped as she continued to sob. 

Neteyam was at a loss for words. He had no clue how to react. He had comforted his wife time and time again, but these tears weren’t due to pain or suffering….no, she was just drunk. 

“Bro…what did you do?” Lo’ak asked, crouching next to them, brows raised high at Xilä whose head was buried in his brother’s chest. 

“Don’t. Don’t even,” Neteyam warned, taking the water from him to offer it to his crying mate. 

Lo’ak sighed guiltily. “I messed up. I’m sorry, ‘Teyam.” 

“Yeah well, shit happens right?” Neteyam said, shooting him an “I guess I can forgive you,” glare that made his brother’s shoulders slump in relief.

“Lo, we should throw parties ALL the time,” Xi said dramatically, interrupting the brothers' moment. “Every. Day. Every-” she hiccupped, “every night.”

Despite the lingering traces of tears, she seemed to be back to her bubbly state again. 

“Fine by me, Xi-Xi,” Lo’ak laughed, ignoring Neteyam’s grumbles while he wiped his wife’s cheeks.

“Two hours.”

“What?”

“I'm giving you two hours to finish up the party and have my home spotless by the time I get back,” Neteyam said as he got to his feet, pulling Xi along with him. 

“Really?” the younger brother asked, ears raised in shock. 

“Yep. And for the love of God, please keep the horny ones out of our room.” 

Lo’ak laughed. “I can do that,” he assured. 

“Hey Xi!” W’aote called, running over. 

“Hiii!” Xilä called back, from where she’d been leaning against her husband. 

“This fucker again?” Neteyam grumbled under his breath. 

Fingers wrapping around her bicep to try and lead her away W’aote said, “I could really use your help against these skxawngs in the next round of-”

Neteyam knocked his hand away, effectively cutting off his speech. 

“Gimme a second,” he told his brother, passing a confused Xilä off to him. “I’ll meet you at the entrance.” 

Lo’ak frowned, gaze darting between his friend and his brother, before leading Xi away. 

W’aote swallowed nervously when it was only the two of them left. His eyes widened when the older Na’vi clamped a hand on his shoulder, fangs bared as he grinned dangerously. 

“You know Xilä is my mate, right?” 

W’aote winced when Neteyam squeezed his muscle. “Y-Yeah. Of course man.” 

“Good. Then act like it.”  

“Neteyam, it’s not-”

“I watched you tonight. You followed my wife around like a fucking pup. I don’t care if you say you only see her as a friend. But enough with the casual touching. Got it?”

“Got it. Sorry.” 

“Good talk,” he said, giving him one last meaningful squeeze before walking away. 

~

And that’s part 13!!!! A freaking rollercoaster if you ask me lol.

A big special shout out and hug to my friend Tori for all her help with this part. 💛

Also, it was getting wayyy too long, so the rest of the party will be in part 14.

Finally, all I’ll say is, enjoy the "peace & calm" of this one, because drama is soon to come 🙃

As always thank you for reading, please let me know your thoughts :)

Tags: @jakesullyfatjuicypeen @granddearduck @riatesullironalite @strawberri-blonde @earthling55 @innercreationflower @duckworthbean @gyuventure @btsiguess-kpop @blkmystery @neteswife @luvteyams

If you'd like to be tagged or I forgot you by accident, please let me know.

[critterbitter]

Asks and responses under cut!

First to note! THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR THESE ASKS. I REALLY APPRECIATE YALL. That aside, lemme get cracking! @drakeling7413 AWE MAN THANK YOU! I just started playing B2 with a friend (we're... not doing a nuzlocke anymore because we both got full team wiped at Clay's gym. That exadrill's built different man.) But I'm glad to bring back some of that whimsey! @bluemimikyu As an eel defender I am VERY glad to hear that! Good luck with tynamo though, they evolve at a disgustingly high level and they're... well, I don't want to say weak but they're a bit difficult to use against anybody not water or flying, from personal experience. (I love eelektross though. Levitate my beloved...) @ashnesspokemon ADLSKJFLKSDJ THANK YOU!!! I have SO many thoughts about them. We've seen them as rat children. We've seen them as sad old men. Today, I offer you-- gangly teenagers interning at Gear Station and Scheming in the meantime. (Plus elesa! The more I draw her the more I love her, ah... I've always been a sucker for trios. ((looks dead eyed at botw and hollow knight))). I do intend to draw them older later on, but that's a timeline I will Not Nail Down anytime soon hehe. @64s-art-blog Emmet has eel rights, Ingo has lamp rights. (But you're right. He should have thrown eelekrik. The comedic apparel would have been incredible.) @aroacepokefan First of all (points at your user name) AYYY. (Points at this characterization of Ingo). AYYY??? Second of all, thank you I LOVE moles and drillbur's perfect. @asperanna Oh boY OH BOY OKAY SO. I am prrrrobably not gonna draw anymore conventional starters AU cause I have a lot of wips I have to handle of the current comics, BUT Ingo would have a unovan samurott. and then when he gets heebie jeebied into hisui, he would have a HISUIAN Samurrott. And then when the two samurotts meet, they would be like the spiderman pointing meme. But because this is also a sandbox, if you ever wanna run with the hisuian samurott idea please go for it! Free real estate, just remember to credit so I can sneak in and spectate the art. @submasfan SLJLDSFJSLDK TY!!!! I am definitely gonna have to slow down at somepoint so I can work on commissions again (ah... maybe I should open a patreon... to feed myself. hmm.) BUT I APPRECIATE THE EXCITEMENT. The submas brain is real. @magicfeatherbean4 (sweats) This is where I tell you they only appear for like... five lines. BUT YOU SHOULD PLAY BW! I miss the 2d pokemon aesthetic, and BW nails that in the head. ((Its okay we can sit on the sidelines and admire the muppet men do their daily commute within the depths of the train.)) @rudeboimonster I'm so glad you caught the stims! Character consistency is an important rule I hold close to my heart, so seeing people notice the little details I add makes me grin like a loon.