#the pitfalls of public development

[exilethegame]

adding a "plot twist" with a "shocking reveal" that literally everyone who's played the game before will already know 💀

[iwanthermidnightz]

When I think back on the Speak Now album, I get a lump in my throat. I have a feeling it will always be that way, because this period of time was so vibrantly aglow with the last light of the setting sun of my childhood. I made this album, completely self-written, between the ages of 18 and 20. I've spoken about how I feel like those ages are the most emotionally turbulent ones in a persons life. Maybe when I say that, I'm really just talking about myself.

I think they might just be the most idealistic, hopeful years too. At this point in my life, I had released my second album, Fearless. It became the breakthrough moment I'd always dreamt of, one that catapulted my career to new realms of success. It had brought with it a tidal wave of pressures and pitfalls and growing pains. All the while, I was encountering the milestones and checkpoints of normal teenage growth. I had cataclysmic crushes and brushes with heartache. I moved out of my parents' house and set my bags down in a new apartment. I hung photos on my own walls and decorated the space where I would sob and cackle and shatter and dream. Sometimes I felt like a grown up, but a lot of the time I just wanted to time travel back to my childhood bed, where my mom would read stories to me until I fell asleep.

In my darker moments, I was tormented by the doubt that swirled loudly around my ascent and my merits as an artist. I was trying to create a follow up to the most awarded country album in history, while staring directly into the face of intense criticism. I had been widely and publicly slammed for my singing voice and was first encountering the infuriating question that is unfortunately still lobbed at me to this day: does she really write her songs? Spoiler alert: I really, really do.

In the years since, I've developed a thicker skin about public criticism and the cynicism with which some people approach the music I make. At that time, it leveled me. I had these voices in my head telling me that I had the perfect chance and I blew it. I hadn’t been good enough. I had given it all I had and been found wanting.

I wanted to get better, to challenge myself, and to build on my skills as a writer, an artist, and a performer. I didn't want to just be handed respect and acceptance in my field. I wanted to earn it. To try and confront these demons, I underwent extensive vocal training and made a decision that would completely define this album: I decided I would write it entirely on my own. I figured, they couldn't give all the credit to my cowriters if there weren't any. But that posed a new challenge: It really had to be good. If it wasn't, I would be proving my critics right.

I had no idea how much this pain would shape me. That this was the beginning of my series of creative choices made by reacting to setbacks with defiance. That my stubbornness in the face of doubters and dissenters would become my coping mechanism through my entire career from that point forward. This exact pattern of enacting my own form of rebellion when I feel broken is exactly why you're reading these very words, and I'm re-releasing this album now.

I went through my first worldwide scandal (the mic grab seen around the world). I experienced the weirdness of trying to get to know a boy while a swarm of paparazzi surrounds the car. Media contacting my publicist for an official statement on why two teenagers broke up. These are weird experiences to have at any age, but even more surreal when you're 19.

I had the nagging sense that in the most intense moments of my life, I had frozen. I had said nothing publicly. I still don't know if it was out of instinct, not wanting to seem impolite, or just overwhelming fear. But I made sure to say it all in these songs. I decided to call the album Speak Now. It was a play on the speak now or forever hold your peace' moment in weddings, but for me it symbolized a chance to respond to the chatter and commentary around my own life.

Some of these emotional revelations were surprising to people. Some expected anger and instead got compassion and empathy with 'Innocent'. Some expected a kiss-off breakup song but instead got a hand-on-heart apology, 'Back to December. It was an album that was the most precious to me because of its vast extremes. It was unfiltered and potent. In my mind, the saddest song I've ever written is 'Last Kiss'. My most scathing is 'Dear John' and my most wistfully romantic is 'Enchanted'.

I'll be forever proud of setting a goal and seeing it through. I'lI always feel shivers all over when I remember singing 'Long Live' to close the show every night on tour. The outstretched hands of those bright and beautiful faces of the fans. Their support was like an open palm that reached out and helped me up off the ground when others were, frankly, mean.

These days I make my choices for those people, the ones who thought I had been good enough all along. I try to speak my mind when I feel strongly, in the moment I feel it. I'm still idealistic and earnest about the music I make, but I'm less crushed when people mock me for it. I know now that one of the bravest things a person can do is create something with unblinking sincerity, to put it all on the line. I still sometimes wish I was a little kid again in a tiny bed, before I ever grew up.

I always looked at this album as my album, and the lump in my throat expands to a quivering voice as I say this. Thanks to you, dear reader, it finally will be.

I consider this music to be, along with your faith in me, the best thing that's ever been mine.

Yours,

Taylor

[fearfulfertility]

CONFIDENTIAL MEMORANDUM

DRC, Public Affairs Division, Civilian Services Command

To: Director [REDACTED]

From: Regional Oversight Coordinator [REDACTED], Paternity Compound 132

Date: [REDACTED]

Subject: Community Re-Education Efforts in Rural Tennessee

Location: Church of the Immaculate Conception, [REDACTED], Tennessee

Objective Statement

This transcript, sourced from Reverend [REDACTED]’s recent sermon at the Church of the Immaculate Conception in [REDACTED], Tennessee, highlights our ongoing efforts to align religious communities with national surrogacy objectives. Given this region's exceedingly low socio-economic and educational prospects, messaging must be tailored to emphasize divine purpose and moral duty, ensuring surrogacy compliance through faith-based narratives.

The Reverend’s inclusion of visibly pregnant surrogates and theological framing of their sacrifice was effective in capturing attention. However, his unscripted interaction with Surrogate S142-317-K revealed the risks of granting surrogates a platform to express personal dissent, even in a controlled environment. Future engagements must avoid such pitfalls to maintain community trust and focus.

Action Items

Develop stricter scripting guidelines for public appearances involving surrogates.

Evaluate congregation reactions and adjust messaging to address residual discomfort.

Monitor flagged individuals for dissent and determine appropriate countermeasures.

Community Description

Nestled in a rural expanse of [REDACTED], Tennessee, this community reflects the hallmarks of low socioeconomic status and deeply ingrained religious traditions. Most residents are employed in small-scale agriculture, local manufacturing, or service-sector jobs, with limited post-secondary education and social mobility. The population skews towards large families due to cultural and religious norms. Religious affiliation is nearly universal, with the church serving as a central hub for social interaction, moral guidance, and community decision-making. Despite economic hardship, the community demonstrates resilience and a firm adherence to conservative, faith-based values.

Transcript Submission

Congregation Description

The congregation at the Church of the Immaculate Conception consists predominantly of working-class families, retirees, and local farmers.

Opening Hymn: “Great is Thy Faithfulness”

Reverend [REDACTED]

"Brothers in faith, we gather here today in the spirit of sacrifice, in the spirit of service, and in the spirit of salvation. For the Lord Himself said, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth.’ And so we find ourselves in a time of testing, a time when the Lord calls upon us to serve not just with our hearts, but with our very bodies."

"Today, I am blessed to share this sacred space with two of our surrogates, young men chosen by God for a divine mission. These brave souls are bearing the weight—quite literally—of our nation’s future. Let us welcome them as they sit among us, shining examples of what it means to live according to His will."

Congregation turns to see two surrogates seated at the front of the sanctuary. Both are visibly near full-term.

Surrogate S142-317-K

18 years old, former high school athlete from the immediate community, pregnant with hendecuplets (11). Surrogate was selected for his quiet and submissive demeanor. 

Surrogate S142-225-L

20 years old, family members from an associated rural farming community and is currently pregnant with dodecuplets (12). Surrogate was selected for his stoic and resigned demeanor. Condition is very advanced, and movements are limited to assisted mobility only. 

Reverend [REDACTED]

"Now, some of you have questioned the changes in our congregation, the ways in which we have been asked to adapt, to welcome this previously unfathomable mission. But let me remind you: God works in mysterious ways. His plan is not always clear to us, but it is always righteous. Today, we are called to embrace a new chapter in our walk with Him—a chapter of extraordinary giving."

Congregation murmurs softly. 

S142-225-L, struggling with his bulk, shifts uncomfortably in his chair.

Reverend [REDACTED]

"For as the Good Book says in John 15:13, ‘Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.’ And what greater love can there be than these surrogates, who are laying down their strength, their comfort, and yes, even their very lives, to bring forth the next generation? These young men are not merely surrogates—they are chosen vessels of divine purpose."

A few hesitant amens from the congregation. 

S142-317-K wipes away a tear, while S142-225-L stares blankly ahead.

Reverend [REDACTED]

"I know some of you are struggling with this new reality. Perhaps you have seen your sons, your brothers, or even your neighbors brought into this new calling. Perhaps you have wrestled with anger, confusion, or despair. But I tell you, do not grieve! Do not resist! For as Paul reminds us in Romans 12:1, ‘Present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.’ These sacrifices are not in vain—they are the foundation upon which our future is built."

"Let me share a story. Last week, I visited the gestational ward at Paternity Compound 132. I met one of the young men seated here with us today. He told me, ‘Pastor, I don’t know why God chose me for this, but I trust Him. I trust that He has a plan.’ That, my friends, is faith. That is courage. That is the spirit of true service."

Note: No interaction beyond observations through the sound-proofed glass was allowed when Reverend [REDACTED] visited Paternity Compound 132. The surrogate in question he references appears to be fabricated for the purpose of the sermon.

Reverend [REDACTED]

"These young men are heroes. And heroes don’t always look the way we expect them to. They don’t wear capes. Sometimes, they wear hospital gowns. Sometimes, they lay in beds, swollen with life, praying that their sacrifice will make a difference. That their pain will pave the way for a brighter tomorrow."

The congregation grows quiet, many appearing uneasy. 

S142-317-K exhales deeply, his hands resting on the vast curve of his abdomen. S142-225-L does not display any emotive response.

Reverend [REDACTED]:

"We, too, must do our part. We must support them. Pray for them. Celebrate their courage and remind ourselves that this is God’s will made manifest. If you are called to give a son, give him with faith. If you are called to serve as a surrogate, serve with pride. And if you are called to bear witness, do so with humility and gratitude."

Reverend [REDACTED] continues to proselytize for another 23.7 minutes. The congregation appears to be losing focus, but attention is regained when the Reverend begins "interviewing" surrogate S142-317-K.

Reverend [REDACTED]

"Good afternoon, son. What an honor it is to have you here with us today. The congregation is inspired by your courage and sacrifice. Now, tell me—how does it feel to be chosen for such a divine purpose?"

Surrogate S142-317-K

"Pastor, I—"

Reverend [REDACTED]

"Ah, I can imagine it’s overwhelming at first! To know you’ve been selected to carry not just life, but hope, for an entire nation. That’s a weight most young men will never understand. Truly, the Lord works through you miraculously, doesn’t He?"

Surrogate S142-317-K

"I mean, I guess, but—"

Reverend [REDACTED]

"That’s right, that’s right. And think of the joy you’re bringing to so many families who have prayed for children but could not have them. Every kick you feel, every movement within you, is a testament to God’s plan. Don’t you agree?"

Surrogate S142-317-K

"I don’t know if I’d call it joy, Pastor. It’s actually—"

Reverend [REDACTED]

"Oh, I understand! It’s humbling, isn’t it? To feel the enormity of your task. But let me remind you, son, humility is a virtue. Philippians 2:3 says, ‘Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.’ That’s exactly what you’re doing!"

Surrogate S142-317-K

"But it’s not what I—"

Reverend [REDACTED]

"You see, the Lord guides us even when we don’t understand His methods. I’m sure, at first, you might have had doubts or fears—that’s only natural. But look at you now! A shining example of faith and resilience. How proud your parents must be to see you serving this way!"

Surrogate S142-317-K

"My parents didn’t give me a choice! They signed me up—"

Reverend [REDACTED]

"Ah, yes, choice. Sometimes, the greatest choices are made for us, aren’t they? Just as Abraham was called to sacrifice Isaac, not every calling is one we’d choose for ourselves. But, son, you’ve risen to the occasion. Surely, you can see the greater purpose in all this?"

Surrogate S142-317-K

"Pastor, with all due respect, I’m in constant pain. I can barely—"

Surrogate S142-225-L begins to display visible physical discomfort. 

Reverend [REDACTED]

"Pain! Yes, yes, the pain of sacrifice. The pain of labor. The pain of the cross. None of us can achieve greatness without hardship, my boy. Jesus Himself bore the weight of the world’s sins—just as you bear the weight of these precious lives. What a beautiful parallel, don’t you think?"

Surrogate S142-317-K

"I just want this to end. I can’t—"

S142-225-L groaned audibly, his hands clutching his abdomen as multiple fetuses shifted within. The pronounced movement of his belly draws gasps and murmurs from the congregation. 

Several attendees appeared visibly distressed, with one man crossing himself repeatedly. 

Reverend [REDACTED] momentarily paused, offering a solemn nod in acknowledgment before continuing his dialogue with S142-317-K. 

The incident visibly heightened the unease in the room.

Reverend [REDACTED]

"In God’s time, all things come to their conclusion. For now, focus on the gift you are giving. Focus on the good you are doing for countless others. And remember, ‘Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial.’ That’s James 1:12, by the way."

Surrogate S142-317-K

(quietly) "What the actual fuck?"

Closing Hymn: “Onward, Christian Soldiers”

Reverend [REDACTED]

"Heavenly Father, we thank You for the blessings You have bestowed upon us, for the surrogates who carry the burden of life, and for the wisdom of those who guide this blessing. We ask that You give strength to those who serve, comfort to those who grieve, and faith to those who doubt. In Your holy name, we pray. Amen."

"You, my boy, are an instrument of His will. And there is no higher calling than that."

Post-Sermon Observations

Surrogate S142-317-K appeared visibly distressed and unresponsive for the remainder of the service. 

S142-225-L returns to staring blankly ahead, though now massaging his belly.

Reverend [REDACTED] has been instructed to avoid conducting unscripted conversations with surrogates in future appearances.

Addendum (Confidential)

Following the service, S142-317-K fainted while being escorted out, likely due to the extreme strain of late-term pregnancy. Medical staff intervened promptly, though the surrogate later went into labor, birthed, and expired in the compound the following morning.

S142-225-L also continued gestating for 5 days (34 days total) before entering labor, birthing, and expiring.

No overt objections were publicly declared. 

Reverend [REDACTED] has been instructed to continue incorporating surrogates into his sermons to normalize their role within the community.

Click Here to return to DRC Report Archives

DRC agents noted mixed reactions among the congregation, ranging from quiet acceptance to visible discomfort. Several individuals were overheard expressing objections to the surrogates and their presence. Operatives have flagged them for further observation and, if necessary, detainment. 

----------------

[bird-inacage]

Net x James: An important reminder that BL partnerships consist of two individuals and they are not just a single entity.

So the Netjames news has been a notable bombshell in the fandom of late, and I've been quietly observing this as it unfolded earlier this week, particularly the varying reactions and discourse around it.

In his statement, James explained that his current career goals are moving in a different direction, which has resulted in him pulling out of 'Love Upon a Time', and by extension his acting partnership with Net. He wants to explore his other avenues as an artist, whereas Net is presumably focused on acting for now.

With BL partnerships, we often see the two co-stars tied at the hip. Its part of the gig and it comes with the territory. They don't just work together on their project, but they do a huge amount of activity (both public and private) outside of that. They travel, perform, they do fan meets, press events, and spend a huge amount of time together as a twosome. So we get accustomed to seeing them as a united entity, which means news like this tends to hit harder because it feels akin to a divorce. This is one of the pitfalls of the Thai BL industry. When you create a narrative around two people who exclusively come as a package, it makes it incredibly difficult for both the actors themselves and fans to accept or make peace with any possible deviation from that. I think it's natural for any actor or artist to desire collaboration with different people: to develop their craft, to further their experience, to broaden their versatility. If sticking to only one working partner 'for life' doesn't work for them, I completely empathise with that.

In their recent Instagram lives, Net and James were clearly sad and their feelings still very raw. This led to a lot of speculation regarding any ill-feeling or fall out between the two. But such accusations can be harmful. Even in an amicable or mutual break-up where ending a relationship is in both parties' best interests - the two people involved are still grieving. Being brutally honest and transparent with someone close to you, that things can no longer continue as they are, isn't easy. If fans feel upset, just imagine how difficult this is on them both. When you've been nurtured as a partnership from the get go, your co-star whose always been at your side provides a sense of safety and familiarity. And the prospect of now moving forward without them is a scary new unknown. On top of that, they probably feel an immense amount of pressure and guilt in digesting the potential fallout and response from their fans. There will be trepidation in how well their careers will fare in the immediate aftermath.

Despite this, there are also positives to be taken from this decision. Arguably, Net and James were still in the early stages of their partnership. Bed Friend really put them on the map as a couple. So for James to come forward with this realisation now, before they got too established as a pairing was a responsible thing to do. I'm sure the last thing anyone wants is for their favourite artists to feel stuck or obliged to continue working together, which would undoubtedly lead to feelings of resentment eventually.

So respectfully, these instances are not to be taken personally or to be deemed as a betrayal of your support. After all, what we know of these artists is only a very small piece of their identities as people. It's okay to be devastated, but be respectful of their wishes. You can choose to continue supporting them as individuals, or choose to no longer support them at all - either way, you are perfectly valid and entitled to your choice, just extend the same courtesy back and be mindful of casting unfair judgement on their choice.

For me, it is admittedly a shame because I did see great potential in them both as a pair, and they had fantastic chemistry which could have been nurtured with more time and experience. Regardless, I truly believe they both have immense love for one another, and I wish them both the very best. They've just come to terms with the fact they no longer share the same vision for what they want in their careers. And that's okay.

(I will always be grateful that they gave us THIS iconic moment).

[wip]

Hello! Would you ever consider bringing back different post types, especially audio? I appreciate that audio posts now display the artist, song title, and album name, but unfortunately newer audio posts don’t play in Tumblr-based music players like egoisticalgoat.de or robinpx.github.io/boombox because they’re read as text posts. Thank you for reading!

Answer: Hey there, @stepintomusic!

Sadly, the answer here is no. We’ve been moving away from legacy post types and towards the Neue Post Format—a format that allows multiple types of media in the same post—for many years. The new features available in NPF basically guarantee that we won’t ever switch back to the legacy format.

(If you’re interested in peeking behind the scenes here, there are a few posts about NPF over at @engineering.)

Now, to get into the meat of the issue. While it would be amazing if we could support every third-party tool forever, the reality is that we can’t. We’re a surprisingly small team to begin with, and even if we weren’t, that support would come at a cost.

To start, there’s the development tax. Now, would it have been cool to ensure all third-party tools (and all custom themes) worked 100% perfectly with posts stored as NPF before releasing NPF to the public? Yeah, it would have been… for third-party tools and custom themes. For us, it would have meant delaying NPF (and all the features it brings with it) for months, possibly years. Imagine a 2023 where Tumblr still doesn’t have polls: that’s the alternate future we’re talking about here.

And then, there’s our maintenance tax. The engine that powers Tumblr themes is already incredibly complicated—complicated to the point that we’re already finding it difficult to maintain and add things like, as you mentioned, NPF audio metadata. If, every time we found some third-party tool that doesn’t play nice with the latest changes, we tried to make an affordance for it… the engine would just become even more complex. And it would do so quickly, and complex to the point of being impossible to keep up with as a maintainer.

There’s a great article here by a former Mozilla developer about the pitfalls of prioritizing a third-party ecosystem over your own software. Did you know that Firefox was essentially a single-threaded application until 2018? This meant it would still visually lock up when saving files to disk, or collecting crash data. Chrome launched in 2008 and was multiprocess from the start. But it took Firefox ten years to catch up because supporting all existing third-party add-ons was seen as necessary. (Spoiler alert: in the end, they had to drop support for those add-ons anyway.)

My own recommendation around third-party software like this is: get in contact with its developer! If something in their software isn’t working, there’s nobody more qualified to update it. (Or, if they’ve abandoned the project but had made it open-source, maybe someone else could step up to maintain it. Maybe you! You never know until you try.)

I talked about the maintenance tax from the first-party side, but let’s talk about it from the third-party side, too. As a theme author and add-on developer myself, I have long accepted that the cost of maintaining these things can never be zero. When your software interacts with an online service, and that online service is being actively maintained, your software also needs to be maintained.

I hope all this has been enlightening! Thanks for your question, and please, have a great day.

—April

[magickkate]

Hi Kate, thank you for reading this ask, and I hope you're well. I'm sending this to enquire about your research process and your go-to sources. I'm infatuated with how eloquent and concise your posts are, and I am very curious about your process of making them.

Hi there, Logan!! Thank you so much for your message. I’m excited to hear you’re enjoying the posts, and I’m happy to share more about how I put them together.

1. Research Process

I start by outlining the key points I want to include, then dive into research from multiple angles. I look for consistency across sources and pay special attention to cultural context, historical accuracy, and safety, especially when discussing herbs, tools, or spellwork.

I try to balance structure with intuition. If something sparks curiosity while I’m working, I follow that thread and see how it fits in. I also check for common misconceptions so I can clarify them in the final post.

2. Sources I Use

I only use sources that are well-researched and credible. I avoid vague or sensationalized material and cross-check where needed. Now, I have been lacking in going back and citing my sources. So, I appreciate you calling me out in that regard. Some of my most-used sources include:

Books and Print Resources:

Mastering Witchcraft by Paul Huson

Encyclopedia of 5000 Spells and Encyclopedia of Spirits by Judika Illes

Year of the Witch by Temperance Alden

The Altar Within by Juliet Diaztc

New World Witchery: A Trove of North American Folk Magic by Cory Thomas Hutcheson

Utterly Wicked by Dorothy Morrison

The Bible 

I have a few more, but I don’t know if they’re all relevant basics. Also, I haven’t peeked into a couple of my books in a few days due to my recent changes (ie,  graduating, moving, new job, etc)

Academic and Historical Sources:

Internet Archive for public domain grimoires and historical texts  

JSTOR (if accessible) for folklore, anthropology, and plant research

Web-based and Community Resources:

Learn Religions (specifically the Pagan/Wiccan section) 

Established witchcraft bloggers and educators who cite their sources and prioritize accuracy, safety, and inclusivity

3. Post-Making Process

Once my research is done, I write the post using a revised template I’ve developed. This helps keep the format clean and easy to follow, especially for beginner- and intermediate-level topics. This is primarily in part by my years of writing and rewriting informative works, usually in patient-friendly language. I try to make the information I use appropriate and digestible for a beginner in their practice. I think most of the posts that have been published for the past month (and are still coming out) have been in the works for almost a year. Just sitting in my drafts until I liked the final form. 

Therefore, most posts include:

A clear intro with definition

Practical applications or variations 

Common pitfalls or safety notes, including ethical implications

A closing section with my personal experience

I adapt the structure depending on the topic as necessary for the appropriate topic. Not all topics flow easily with the same template. The style of posts is to feel like a revised paper rather than a freehand text. So, if they are too sterile, I will work on that. I do appreciate you reaching out to me about the recent posts!

Oh, and to be very transparent, I like the Grammarly extension since I do tend to be verbose and have quite the run-on sentence every so often. 

Thanks again for reaching out. If you're working on your own content or research process, feel free to message me, and I’m happy to help however I can!

[csuitebitches]

Random reading recommendation 1 (find this under my pinned post, under “reading”)

https://www.imf.org/-/media/Files/Publications/SDN/2024/English/SDNEA2024001.ashx

International Monetary Fund - Gen-AI: Artificial Intelligence and the Future of Work PDF.

ABSTRACT: Artificial intelligence (AI) has the potential to reshape the global economy, especially in the realm of labor markets. Advanced economies will experience the benefits and pitfalls of AI sooner than emerging market and developing economies, largely because their employment structure is focused on cognitive- intensive roles. There are some consistent patterns concerning AI exposure: women and college-educated individuals are more exposed but also better poised to reap AI benefits, and older workers are potentially less able to adapt to the new technology. Labor income inequality may increase if the complementarity between AI and high-income workers is strong, and capital returns will increase wealth inequality. However, if productivity gains are sufficiently large, income levels could surge for most workers. In this evolving landscape, advanced economies and more developed emerging market economies need to focus on upgrading regulatory frameworks and supporting labor reallocation while safeguarding those adversely affected. Emerging market and developing economies should prioritize the development of digital infrastructure and digital skills.

[ewaneneollav]

ok i make subtext into text with this one, i have a budding romantic relationship which i am inevitably going to write here about (& even drunkenly indulging the grotesque publication of excerpts of my own private afectionate messages), &, if you my reader cannot tell: even though no one says anything or likely has much concern about it at all i do feel put on a constant tribunal lately, feeling a constant need to justify myself, because it is on this blog i have spent so much time writing of myself as a stunted, depressive, confused, nihilistic, pessimistic, even misanthropic wretch - or maybe that take on it all doesn’t feel to anyone reading like that much more than an echo at this point, in which case- well, i still at least feel like i have written so much in this vein!

perhaps i have gone some very fair distances towards clawing myself out of this over the past five years or so, but this blog has literally been a decade spanning document & catalog of me lurching my way out of the life-sludge of that initial oblivion of deep teenage mental illness, trying to acquaint myself with an overall psychic impression of life that doesnt have pain so unquestioningly infused into it, & sometimes nihilistically gumming up the mindworks of other people with my schizoid apathy & avolition, because i got it in my head that i could be a person. having this blog makes me feel very exposed, which is the flip side to trying to incessantly expose myself & flay myself in ways

so i convince myself someone somewhere out there may read of these new developments biting their nails with some kind of intrusive concern, “this cryptid that does not even feel sure of itself being human is life-tangling with someone else, it’s a fine thing to spectate when it’s a self-contained narrative but now who is becoming gummed up in all this nonsense?”

i dont think i need anyone to talk to me & be like “YOURE FINE” or anything, this post may be me referencing the pitfalls of blog & audience but that doesnt mean im suddenly breaking the fourth wall, this is me writing about my internal state exactly like when i write about an internal state that does not directly concern the fact that i am writing on a blog

& anyway everything does feel really positive, i - i think in certain ways i feel safer with this person than anyone else ive ever grown close with this way- &, all in all, the me writing this post doesn’t even feel to me like the me who is in the relationship, this is a more grim thing writing this, which metaphysically has bags under its eyes & thinks it needs to humor these hallucinations of horror or gravity, it’s all ridiculous. i may have misrepresented myself by even writing this, i’m just doing it anyway because i’m a territory & not a map, i don’t care anymore if i misrepresent myself, writing this isn’t a social relationship that i stand to sully, it’s just writing. there’s no tribunal. this blog is just a mirror. & yet it’s also people. it’s like if my reflection had real skin i could touch but it was still only a reflection & i had to fight to remember that

if i were unknowingly writing this to anyone to whom its messaging were actually applicable, they would probably be approaching things like kind of a freak! & i mean, the internet has made me feel like a freak sometimes too so maybe i am reflexively writing, in a way, to the freak buried in my own self

[mariacallous]

In January, as Hamas prepared to release Israeli hostages held in Gaza as part of a ceasefire deal brokered with Israel, U.S. movie theaters began showing a new film about a different—but no less notorious—Israeli hostage crisis.

The joint U.S.-German production September 5 takes place almost entirely during the course of one day at the 1972 Munich Olympic Games, when Palestinian militants entered the Olympic Village before dawn, killed two members of the Israeli delegation, and took nine others hostage. After an hours-long standoff that involved negotiations with German mediators, all the hostages, numerous militants, and one police officer were killed in a firefight at a military airport near Munich.

September 5, a contender for Best Original Screenplay at this year’s Academy Awards, aims to provide a journalistic angle on the tragedy, which has featured in a few Hollywood productions in the last three decades. Set mostly in the ABC studios at the Munich Olympic Park, the film follows a team of sports journalists as they scramble to cover the political events of the day. It integrates the network’s archival footage of the attacks to “engage with how we consume news,” particularly “crisis reporting,” director Tim Fehlbaum said in a pre-recorded interview that followed a screening.

The Munich Olympics were the first to be broadcast live, making the hostage crisis the first act of terrorism that the world watched in real time. Fehlbaum called Munich a “turning point in media history.” More people tuned into that day’s coverage than that of the moon landing three years earlier. September 5 both appears true to the times and accurately reflects newsroom discussions during a crisis. For journalists, however, the questions that the movie raises—for example, whom to label as terrorists—are hardly new.

Although the media stands in the foreground of September 5, the film offers an equally keen look at German identity formation after World War II. Organizers intended for the Munich Olympics to rectify West Germany’s standing in the world, portraying an erstwhile pariah state as a changed and welcoming place. Yet Fehlbaum depicts how the “cheerful Games” instead highlighted the limits of the country’s inflexible and ideologically driven approach to postwar security policy. Anecdotes interspersed throughout the film plant the seeds for as-yet-unresolved debates in modern Germany about defense and military readiness.

Fehlbaum distills the German public’s response to the Munich tragedy into one character: Marianne Gebhardt, who is played by Leonie Benesch. She is the only German journalist (and German speaker) working in the ABC studios. As a result, Gebhardt is tasked with interpreting reports from German police, media, and politicians for ABC’s crew, keeping them up to date on developments in the hostage crisis and sometimes advising them on German culture, too.

Unlike other characters in the film, Gebhardt is not based on a historical figure. Instead, she is a “representative of Germany at the time,” Benesch told IndieWire last September—and a younger woman in a cast of mostly men.

Early in September 5, Gebhardt demonstrates that she is both deeply sensitive to Germany’s past and idealistic about the country’s potential. Before the hostage crisis begins, Marvin Bader—a Jewish American journalist played by Ben Chaplin—greets Gebhardt brusquely, hinting that her parents could been complacent about the Holocaust and implicating her by extension. Gebhardt compassionately but confidently replies: “Well, I’m not them.”

This exchange occurs while monitors in ABC’s studios show the Israeli team visiting Dachau concentration camp in the suburbs of Munich. Among the athletes that the network interviews is David Berger, an American-born Israeli weightlifter who is later held hostage and killed. An ABC staffer comments on the discomfort of what it must be like for the Israeli athletes “to win a gold in Hitler’s backyard.” At the time of the Munich Olympics, the end of World War II was just 27 years in the past.

The ABC team clearly understands the significance of the Munich Games, but they struggle in connecting this historical proximity to German authorities’ general incompetence during the hostage crisis—on both a strategic and an emotional level. Again, Gebhardt serves as an interlocutor.

As the crisis begins—“Someone is on the balcony, wearing some kind of mask!”—many ABC staffers are exasperated. They are incredulous about the idea that the Olympic Village featured scant security measures and no armed police, who could have in theory prevented the militants’ entry or mobilized a faster response. To this, Gebhardt says, “I guess they didn’t want the world to be reminded of the last time armed Germans patrolled the streets.”

Gebhardt does not make a judgment as to whether the presence of armed police would have been appropriate in Munich. But she highlights a fundamental tension in German security policy—both domestic and international—that still exists today: When so much of the country’s history is rooted in military and police atrocities, how can modern Germany correct course while still assuming the basic defensive responsibilities of a state?

It can’t, many Germans and much of the international community initially assumed; instead, Germany needed to demilitarize. Although West Germany’s conservative government joined NATO in 1955, the move was remarkably contentious and not supported by the opposition Social Democrats. Even as a member of the alliance, Germany’s Nazi legacy has led the country to be more pacifist vis-à-vis policing and the military than many of its European and North American counterparts, with strict rules about the engagement of German troops and minimal military spending.

This restraint was and is well-intentioned. But it has increasingly clashed with Germany’s practical security needs—not to mention that it has only been able to endure for so long thanks to the U.S. military’s vast presence across Germany. Though many Germans claim to be peaceniks, they cultivated that identity while enjoying reliable protection from U.S. troops (or in the case of East Germany, Soviet forces).

In September 5, this tension bubbles to the surface. Hours into the hostage crisis, angry ABC staffers struggle to understand why German soldiers have not been deployed to the Munich Olympic Village. Gebhardt defiantly answers that, per Germany’s postwar constitution, the military cannot be active on home soil during peacetime—effectively shutting down the discussion.

Decades later, in the same city, then-German President Joachim Gauck sought to puncture the black-and-white mentality that Gebhardt embodies. In a speech at the 2014 Munich Security Conference, Gauck issued a plea for Germany to “assume greater responsibility” in security and defense. “The post-war generations had reasons to be distrustful—of the German state and of German society,” he said. “But the time for such categorical distrust is past.”

Russia’s 2022 full-scale invasion of Ukraine moved Gauck’s demands further into the mainstream—and U.S. Vice President J.D. Vance’s comments disparaging European leaders at this year’s Munich Security Conference have provided yet another jolt for the continent to take more responsibility for its own security.

But the shifts that Gauck proposed a decade ago remain controversial; Germany’s Feb. 23 election was in part a referendum on the country’s growing security clout. As just one example, three of Germany’s seven main parties—the far-right Alternative for Germany, the populist Sahra Wagenknecht Alliance, and The Left—oppose continued weapons exports to Ukraine and prefer that Germany promote diplomatic efforts to resolve the conflict. Factions within those groups are skeptical of NATO, too. Together, they earned around 35 percent of the vote.

Amid these political debates, September 5 has a realist value-add. The film’s portrayal of German authorities’ failure to prevent the biggest tragedy in Olympic history is a reminder of the danger of rigidly idealist traps, both in worldview and policy. Although Germany committed to disarmament and restraint with good intentions, a lack of basic security preparedness almost certainly led to further bloodshed in Munich.

“Innocent people died in Germany again. And we failed,” Gebhardt says before the credits roll. Viewers may wonder whether now, faced with 21st-century realities, Germany’s next act might include more nuance.

[probablyasocialecologist]

As the American sociologist Immanuel Wallerstein recognized, capitalism fuels economic growth through shifting the cost of that development onto the Global South. So long as this externalization of costs runs smoothly, those of us living in the Global North can enjoy a rich lifestyle and avoid suffering the consequences of environmental crises. This is how we’ve been able to avoid thinking seriously about the true cost of our expansive lifestyles for so long.

[...]

The dilemma is this: As the economy grows, the range of human economic activity grows too, which means that the volume of resource and energy consumption will also grow, making it difficult to reduce carbon dioxide emissions. This is a historical tendency. In other words, even green economic growth may cause increases in carbon emissions and resource use in direct proportion to its success because economic growth is historically accompanied by more frequent consumption of bigger commodities, including ones in wasteful and carbon-intensive industries. This in turn will necessitate more and more dramatic increases in efficiency, but there is an insurmountable physical limit to the improvement of technological efficiency. This is the Growth Trap, a major pitfall awaiting capitalism as it attempts to establish a zero-carbon economy. The question is, can this trap be avoided? Unfortunately, escaping this trap is unlikely. Sustaining a growth rate of 2–3 percent for the GDP would necessitate the immediate reduction of carbon dioxide emissions by 10 percent every year to hit the 1.5° C target. If we leave it to the market, the likelihood of achieving a yearly reduction rate as dramatic as 10 percent or more is very low.

[...]

Make no mistake: Green New Deal–style governmental platforms enabling large-scale investment into remaking nations at a fundamental level are indispensable in the struggle to combat climate change. It’s undeniable that we must make the transition to solar energy, electric vehicles, and the like. Public transportation systems must be expanded and made free to all, bicycle lanes must be built, public housing fitted with solar panels must be created—these sorts of works projects, driven by public spending, are all vital. But these things are not enough. It might sound counterintuitive, but the goal of any Green New Deal should not be economic growth but rather the slowing down of the economy. Measures to stop climate change cannot double as ways to further economic growth. Indeed, the less such measures aim to grow the economy, the higher the possibility they’ll work.

[racefortheironthrone]

So! I was planning on writing a Batman fan fic and had a question about the urban facing side I was wondering if you could help on. I suppose this can intersect with other super hero / billionaire figures. Interested in exploring urban development in the setting but trying to avoid pitfalls , but ofc no worries if this isn’t something in your purview or interest

I feel like Gotham, so deeply realized as a fictional setting and riddled with its issues as a city, would be a great template to explore these urbanist issues. And while Batman treats symptoms - protecting people from acts of violence, and also pursuing those who are responsible for the corrupt systems who have put themselves above conventional pursuit. But Bruce Wayne I feel like by a lot of fans can he overlooked as an agent of improvement in Gotham - he can use his political and economic clout to both publically and privately improve the systemic conditions of the city, like his famous hiring program for ex cons. And I would like to explore this side a lot deeper, however I’m wary of showing a billionaire as the only solution , or even the best solution to a city’s issues and basically recreating public policies privately.

Since showing a privatized solution to be the answer to all these problems isn’t the sentiment I want to give, as often private corporations are the ones exploiting / building up this cult of personality around millionaires is already troublesome. But ofc, Bruce Wayne is fictional and can be an example of how a CEO ought to act, but would like to show these solutions are achievable and to be sought after in the public sphere - we shouldn’t expect CEO to hire ex cons, build free transit, eliminate all these zoning issues by buying half the city because 1) unrealistic and 2) can institute a dangerous mindset where it’s like “just give everything to billionaires and they’ll fix things!” (See, the cult of musk)

So my question is, do you have any recomendations on how to achieve this balance of using Wayne as a championing workers rights, urban development , reform etc. without just shilling for billionaires? Because, after all, billionaires have been opponents and don’t want to diminish that. Perhaps using his influence to give away his infouence to others , if that makes sense. or even better - historical examples of figures of privilege utilizing their position to advocate for the public sector and go all in as earnest urban Allies as a roadmap to model this after?

This is a really interesting question, and I think points to some of the limitations of what can be done with the Bruce Wayne archetype.

As I've said before, I think what can be done to make Wayne an enlightened person without falling prey to the mentality that "the billionaires will save us!" (looking at you, RALPH) is to really explore the limitations of top-down reform.

Because if there is one genuine weaknesses both to the Batman and Bruce Wayne, it's that he has a well, "heroic" mindset in which he thinks that if he's just smart enough, prepared enough, tough enough, that he can win a one-man-war on crime and other social evils - but you don't really see him engaging in movement-building in either his vigilante or civilian sides.

In the former, even if we leave aside his more "lone wolf" depictions, Batman has issues with trust and working well in groups. At best, he cultivates a small number of people (the Robins, the JLA), and he tends to keep people at arm's length. In the latter, even when Bruce is trying to make systemic, social interventions in transportation or housing or health care or social welfare, it's usually done through a top-down approach - build this project here, support this politician there - rather than sitting down and doing an analysis of how he could build a sustainable majority coalition with the muscle to change Gotham on its own.

Realistically, an honest, militant, and strategic Waynetech union (albeit assisted from the shadows to keep the mob and the supervillain gangs at bay) could do more to change Gotham for good than any Foundation that has ever or could ever exist.

[heroescore]

Heroes

Chapter 6 - Between Head and Heart

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Times Square with its big, vibrant screens, is a staple of the Big Apple, and of course a tourist favourite, as it is always shown in films, series, and even mentioned in books.

And as any experienced traveller knows, tourists are often picked as targets for pickpockets and other thieving miscreants. Especially in a big crowd, where people are less inclined to chase a thief into an unfamiliar city.

Posting extra police was no use, since there was only so much they could do, and small gangs of thieves very quickly developed a method to distract the crowd with a ballsy attempt of stealing a purse, while the other slipped his sticky fingers into people’s bags, purses and pockets, stealing whatever they could get their hands on.

It was annoying, to say the least, and the spike in crime reports from that area was an eyesore for the local precinct. Until one day, a teenager in a red jacket single-handedly took down two pickpockets, as well as the purse snatcher they used as a distraction.

That was his debut, but he didn’t get a whole lot of attention since he didn’t exhibit any obvious powers. He thought he was rather remarkable, considering he felt like he pulled some epic MMA moves straight out of his ass. Not literally, of course, but he didn’t know where else they could have come from.

He’d never seen the inside of a dojo before, or a ring. He’d never touched any fighting sport in his life, yet he still was able to give a black belt holder a run for their money. Was his power just the ability to kick ass?

Yes. But also no.

His skill for martial arts came from the same rare gene that other supernatural humans had, and his had been around for generations, allowing his line to pass down muscle memory as if it was a genetic trait. However, before he was able to figure that out, he wanted to make some connection in the super world. Surely someone was looking into the origins of super powers?

Either way, since his powers didn’t seem memorable enough for the public, he came up with a whole gimmick, which was mainly based on his talent for card tricks, and his best friends’ powers.

White Rabbit grabbed the crowd’s attention with his ability to create sinkholes. This allowed him to create pitfalls to trap runaway thieves in. And conveniently his ability also allowed him to reverse the process, and repair the pavement as if nothing ever happened.

Then, once he drew attention, King of Hearts would sweep in and steal the show with his signature move; throwing cards. Which doesn’t sound too impressive, but with some practice one could throw them well enough to cut through various materials, including cloth and skin. And we all know paper cuts hurt like a bitch.

The pair very quickly rose to fame. A little thanks to their alter egos being based on a beloved children’s novel, but mostly thanks to drawing out a super villain with the same idea.

The Mad Hatter wasn’t nearly as sweet as Johnny Depp, and probably one of the most persistent and dangerous threats to the New York super scene. Whenever a super went missing, it was almost always Hatter who was behind it. Especially when they were found back a week later, horribly tortured and only hanging on to their sanity by a thread. Mumbling nursery and nonsense rhymes, and almost always never returning to the scene as a hero.

Sometimes he even got his hands on someone who wasn’t even known for having powers, and after Slade got involved in the case, Hatter became the prime suspect for the missing boy from the previous chapter.

Being the only heroes that regularly clashed with the Hatter and survived to tell the tale, Ecker decided to get back into his role as Brain and approached King and White to ask them for information.

They agreed to meet in an alley near the square, where they could chat in peace. So he donned his old trench coat and fedora, and hid in the shadows to remain anonymous as the two young heroes approached him.

Good God they were young, but Brain decided not to judge. Ranger had also been very young when they first started, and he had honestly been one of their best. He couldn’t judge their flashy outfits either, especially when he looked like a 30’s noir-style detective. Or rather, that was the image he had in mind when he picked out his disguise all those years ago.

Meanwhile these kids were just basing their outfits off of their alter egos. King of Hearts wore a red jacket with a white fuzzy trim, very much like a king’s mantle. The rest of his outfit was simple, black, easy to move in, and to finish his look, he wore a black mask over his eyes. White Rabbit had a similar getup; black simple clothes, with a purple waistcoat and purple mask, though even with the mask, he could be very recognisable from his white hair and red eyes, unless those were a wig and contacts, but Brain doubted that.

Still, he wasn’t there to criticise their disguises.

He was there to find a missing boy.

“You Brain?” King asked as he and White approached the man in the shadows, “I thought you said there’d be two of you.”

“I’m afraid Slade was held up on his way here,” Brain calmly said, “I wanted to talk to you because we suspect the Hatter is responsible for a missing persons case. However, I don’t believe he’s ever gone after a child before.”

“No, his youngest victim was like...seventeen?” King said.

“And us,” White added, “wait...which missing persons case are we talking about?”

Brain pulled out the flyer had been holding on and handed it over to them. Somehow, although his skin was already pretty much transparent, White managed to pale.

“Th-that...that’s my brother,” he said.

“Huh,” Brain said, “that changes things...again. Slade recognised him as a super, which is why Hatter became a suspect, but if he’s your brother…”

“Y-you don’t think he was targeted because of White, do you?” King asked.

“He doesn’t typically go after mundane people, so both options are possible,” Brain said, “however, that would require him to have figured out your identity.”

“O-oh God...I knew it, I knew it was my fault!” White said, pulling his hands through his hair, “if only I’d been in time to walk him home from school!”

“White, we’ve been over this, it’s not your fault that the subway wasn’t running that day,” King quickly said, trying to help his friend calm down.

Brain tilted his head.

“Your brother...disappeared on the day of the East Meadow incident?” he asked.

“Dude if you say it like that you make it sound like it was connected,” King said, “why would anyone try so hard to get their hands on a kid?”

“That depends,” Brain said, “what are his powers like?”

“Um…” White slowly said, trying to focus, “s-similar to mine, but also very different...to use my powers I need to be in direct contact with the earth. So anything made of stone or other earthly materials, I need  bare skin contact in order to use my powers.”

“A newspaper could stop him,” King added.

“God, don’t remind me,” White said with a sigh, “but with my brother...it’s more based on his emotions I think? Since, like, a year ago whenever he got too upset or too excited the whole building could begin shaking.”

“And he isn’t limited by...newspapers?” Brain asked.

White shook his head.

“Maybe it wasn’t Hatter?” King suggested, “I mean, there’s got to be some freaky parties interested in supers too, right?”

“Jesus Christ, don’t remind me!” White snapped, growing more and more worried for his brother with every possibility that ran through his mind right now.

If it was Hatter, he had a good idea of what his baby brother could be going through right now, but if it was someone else...he had no clue, which was somehow even scarier.

“Something about this stinks,” Brain said, “I’m going to have a chat with the 124th and make sure they make this case a priority. Slade was right, it’s important we find your brother fast.”

“P-please, he’s only twelve,” White said, “our dad is going crazy from stress…”

“I understand,” Brain said, “but hang in just a little longer, okay?”

“That’s easy for you to say, sir,” King said, “come on, let’s get you home, White. Today’s not a good day.”

“If you want updates stop by The Joint,” Brain said, “I’ll know when to find you there.”

“Thanks,” King said, “come on, buddy.”

He put a hand on his friend’s shoulder and headed off.

And where was Slade, you wonder? Well, you already know where he was. He had been on his way to the meeting, when he heard a familiar voice calling out for help. He had run into and chased off three rather murderous muggers, and found their victim unconscious, just as he asked for an address so he could help him get home safely.

After making sure his likely concussion wasn’t too severe, he gathered the young man’s things, putting them back into his bag, and peeking for anything that might have his address on it. All he found, however, was his phone, but he couldn’t get it to turn on. So he pulled out his own, and called one of his friends.

“Bryce! It’s me. Listen, I seem to recall, before I was forced to take a sabbatical, that you were practising to summon assistance over a distance,” Slade said.

“...what do you need?” Bryce asked, “and where are you?”

“In the alley behind The Joint. I need a mount of some kind to bring someone home. He got mugged.”

“Why not just call an ambulance?” Bryce asked, “I’m kind of busy right now.”

“I know you’re playing bingo with your ma, she invited me too,” Slade said, “also until I get my insurance plan through, they’ll just charge him three thousand dollars for an MRI when I can already tell he’ll be fine after a good night’s rest.”

“Aight, chill man, I’ll get you a horse,” Bryce replied, “ma, can you watch my card for a sec? I need to help Slade out.”

And sure enough, after Bryce hung up, Slade could hear the tell-tale clacking of hooves on asphalt as a horse came walking into the alley. She was fully equipped with a saddle and reins.

“Perfect,” Slade said, “hope you don’t mind carrying two people for a bit...upsy daisy~”

He felt a bit out of shape when he lifted the young man up, but he could worry about that later, honestly.

The next morning, Aiden felt like he woke up from...a very weird dream. He vaguely remembered a horse, and a pier that hadn’t been renovated yet and— was that a seagull?

He blinked his eyes open, grateful that the room was pretty darkened, so he could get his bearings without being blinded by the sun. It seemed he was lying in the bottom of a bunk bed, the whole room seeming to rock very gently left and right, old wood creaking with each movement.

Confused, he slowly sat up, wondering how he managed to get from a back-alley street mugging to a boat. Also...whose boat was it? He found his shoes right beside him on the floor and put them on before looking around. The cabin was pretty much just all bed. A large double bed claiming most of the space, and the two bunks built into the wall.

Next to the bed, there was a door, so Aiden stumbled over and tried it. It wasn’t locked, that was a good sign. He opened it, and found himself standing in a kitchen, illuminated by the daylight that shone in through the portholes on the sides. To his left, the counter and a stove with two gas pits, the porthole above it standing ajar, and a used pan was soaking in the sink, and to his right a table with two benches.

The wood seemed to be in a bad state on all sides, and he vaguely remembered Slade had been looking for a shipwright. A little more reassured, he passed through and found the stairs that led to the deck, carefully climbing up in case they would give in, and sure enough, as he stepped onto the deck, he found Slade not too far off, messing around with the sail of one of the smaller masts.

He found a railing to steady himself, not sure if his headache was making him dizzy, or whether it was the rocking of the boat, but he managed to make his way over without falling, Slade looking up when he heard his footsteps.

“Oh, you’re up, thank goodness,” he said, “how are you feeling?” “...mostly confused,” Aiden admitted.

He looked around. The boat was anchored by an abandoned pier, one of the few that hadn’t been reclaimed and renovated by the city yet it seemed.

“Where are we?”

“West of Manhattan, right by the Hudson. Prime real estate if you ask me,” Slade said.

“Okay...why?” Aiden said, sitting down next to Slade.

“Don’t you remember?” Slade asked.

“Um...yeah, the muggers, but...why not just take me to hospital?”

“Because I’m not very fond of the capitalist healthcare system,” Slade said, “though I did make some good money back in the day, but I could tell your concussion wasn’t too bad. You don’t need an overpriced MRI scan to confirm that.”

“Ugh, yeah, good point, I guess,” Aiden said, rubbing his eyes a bit, “what time is it? Phil must be worried sick…”

“I already spoke to him,” Slade said, “your phone was broken, so I called William and he had his number, so I called him to assure him you were arite. He said he’d call your pastor to let him know you wouldn’t make it to church this morning, and to tell you this because it’s important to you.”

“I hope father Tom isn’t too worried,” Aiden said.

“Don’t worry about how worried others are, Love,” Slade said, “you’ll never get a moment of rest if you do.”

“I don’t get a moment of rest regardless,” Aiden said, “was the horse a dream, or…?”

“I can’t drive a car so I asked Ranger for a horse, yeah,” Slade said casually, putting the sail aside and getting up. “Come on, I’ll make you some breakfast. You could also take a shower if you want, though word of warning, I don’t have hot water right now.”

“Um...thanks, I’m good though,” Aiden said, absent-mindedly taking Slade’s arm and letting him help him back across the deck to go back into the galley for some breakfast.

“You were lucky I showed up when I did, Love. Those muggers in particular had been leaving a trail of bodies so far,” Slade said as he scrubbed the pan in the sink clean so he could use it again, while Aiden sat on one of the benches at the table, trying to remember last night’s events, when something stuck out to him.

“They knew where I worked,” he said.

“Excuse me?”

“I keep my tips separate from my wallet in case I would get mugged,” Aiden said, “they usually grab it and run, but they checked the contents first, and then one of them said waiters were always loaded with tips. That’s when they took my bag.”

“I see,” Slade said, “you might want to write that down for the police...you are going to file a report, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know, I don’t even think I have the time. Besides, I didn’t even see their faces. What good can it do?”

“It’s up to you,” Slade said, “for today though, I just want you to sit back and relax. It’s lovely weather today, I can put some tanning beds on deck.”

“No I should go home—”

“Phil is coming to pick you up later this afternoon. Until then, you’re going to rest,” Slade said, giving him a bit of a strict look.

Aiden blinked, quieting down a bit, and watching how Slade baked him some eggs. He’d opened the porthole fully, so the scent wouldn’t fill the whole cabin.

“How come you don’t have hot water?” Aiden asked, not liking the awkward silence.

“Something with the boiler,” Slade said, “apparently I need a mechanic for that rather than a shipwright. I miss the time you could just hire a handyman and let him figure things out.”

“I could take a look?” Aiden said, “boilers aren’t too hard to figure out usually.”

“Hold up,” Slade said, “so you’re a barista, a theology major, and a handyman?”

“I was homeschooled on a ranch, half my classes were just my dad teaching me how to fix stuff so he wouldn’t have to do it.”

“Some labour is good for a child,” Slade said, “teaches them to take care of themselves.”

“And saves them tons of money because they don’t have to hire a guy for the smallest thing,” Aiden said, “where’s your boiler?”

“Not so fast you, you’re supposed to rest,” Slade said, reaching over to push him down as Aiden had started to get up.

“...after I’ve rested then?”

“Aye, but not today,” Slade said, before serving him his breakfast.

Eggs, bacon, toast, and now that he had space on his workbench again he even pressed some oranges for fresh juice.

“Can’t forget your vitamins,” he said, sitting across from him, “so you grew up on a ranch eh?”

“Mhm,” Aiden nodded, pricking some eggs onto his fork, “you?”

“Scottish highlands. You ever been?”

“I’m afraid I haven’t seen much of the world besides the bus trip from Kansas to New York and every stop between,” Aiden said.

“Well, you’re still young,” Slade said, “there’s still plenty of time for you to discover the world.”

“I bet you’ve seen everything by now,” Aiden said.

“You’d think so, but the world is too big to see everything in three lifetimes,” Slade said, “I’ve never set foot on the African continent, or Antarctica. I also don’t even want to come near North Korea…”

“Antarctica is just ice anyway,” Aiden said, “might as well cross it off your list.”

“Heh, I just might,” Slade said, “have you got anything on your bucket list?”

“I guess I’ve always wanted to visit Europe some time,” Aiden said, “I’m not a catholic, but the Vatican is at the top of my list.”

“Many people go for the art alone,” Slade assured him, tilting his head a bit as he noticed Aiden kept squinting at times.

“Are you photosensitive, Love?”

“I’m what?”

“Does the light hurt your eyes or head?” Slade elaborated, “you keep squinting your eyes.”

“N-no, just...conflicting thoughts,” Aiden said, which didn’t ease Slade at all, but he decided not to pry, only reaching over and tilting his head to the side.

The bruise was beginning to turn darker, but at least it wasn’t too swollen. He very gently pressed his thumb on various places, but Aiden didn’t react too much.

“Does this hurt?”

“A little, why?”

“Just checking,” Slade said, “if there were fractures in your skull there you wouldn’t have been able to stay so perfectly still~”

“Did you study medicine before x-ray?” Aiden asked curiously, “I’ve gotten knocked in the head before, and it kinda felt like the doctors had no idea what they were doing so they had pictures taken.”

“Aye. I started an apprenticeship with a local doctor around...the 1840’s I reckon. Five years later I made it to a French medical school— Don’t ask why, I think it was because they just offered better education at the time. X-ray wouldn’t be invented or used for another fifty years, so I learned to look at certain injuries differently. Then later when they did start to use x-ray, I began to see correlations between what I knew and what the x-ray would show. When I last actively practised I think I only ordered pictures and scans to put the patients at ease really.”

Aiden listened attentively to his explanation, quietly chewing his breakfast. He’d always liked to learn about history, and it was very interesting to get a first-hand account, but more interestingly, this was the most he had ever heard Slade talk about his past, and he was smiling while doing so.

“I thought you didn’t like talking about the past,” he said, before he could stop himself.

“Well...there’s good parts and bad parts,” Slade said, “and I don’t like to talk about the bad parts mostly. The same way you told me you’re from Kansas, your parents were ranchers, you were homeschooled, and your dad involved you in his life and probably vice versa...yet you’re here, miles away, and I haven’t a clue why…”

“...good point,” Aiden said, “I think...I’ve only really talked about it with Phil? Father Tom knows the summarised version, but only Phil knows all the details.”

“You must have a good bond with him,” Slade said, “you best cherish it.”

“I thank God every day that I met him,” Aiden said, “let’s see...when I was fifteen, I uh...kinda ran away from home.”

He gave Slade about the same summary as he had given Father Tom eventually, but leaving out the details of why he ran away from home, and why he really chose theology for his major. Slade asked, of course, purely out of curiosity, but Aiden said he couldn’t tell him. Still, it was nice to know he trusted him enough to reveal he’d been a street rat for some time, and after a little hesitation, Slade rewarded him by revealing they had a similar story.

“I was a bit younger when I was forced to leave home, and after some wandering, I was fortunate enough to meet a kind old gentleman, who let me stay in his home in exchange for some chores at first. Like a footboy...not just like, I just was his footboy for quite some time, but he taught me all he knew and helped me get into medical school…goodness that time just flew by.”

“That’s a mood,” Aiden said, “it’s like I blinked and five years passed...it must be worse for you though.”

“Everytime I close my eyes I feel like another decade passes,” Slade said, “especially the past century. Development has been so incredibly fast. One day we’re using zeppelins to cross distances, the next we put a man on the moon?”

“America did,” Aiden said proudly.

Slade waved his hand dismissively.

“It doesn’t matter who did it, what matters is that we, as a collective race, put a man on the moon.”

Aiden couldn’t help but to agree with that, trying to imagine the difference in technology between now and two hundred years ago. No wonder Slade seemed so impressed by things he would take for granted. After all, he had truly lived through a time where that technology wasn’t even being dreamed of yet.

The rest of the day, Aiden listened to more of Slade’s stories, while being a little spoiled by the man. He wasn’t joking about putting a tanning bed on the deck, even adding pillows to make sure Aiden was as comfortable as possible. He brought him drinks to keep him hydrated, and pieces of fruit as snacks.

He was peeling an apple for him while telling him about the pier they were anchored at, when a familiar figure approached the boat. Phil had finally arrived, a bit annoyed that the cab driver refused to drive beyond the gate, but his mood disappeared when he found his roommate was really unharmed.

“Dude, I’m so glad to see you, you scared the shit out of me!” he said, not waiting for permission to climb aboard.

“How do you think I feel? I’m the one that got mugged,” Aiden said.

“Unsuccessfully I might add,” Slade said, “they ran off before they found your money.”

“Fuck the money,” Phil said, “are you okay?”

“Bit bruised, but I’ll live,” Aiden said, gesturing at his face, “had a really good and thoughtful doctor look after me~”

“Did you check if his licence was valid?” Phil asked, throwing Slade a look.

“Come on, don’t be that guy, Phil,” Aiden said, rolling his eyes a little as he began getting up.

Slade pretended to be stupid and just smiled politely as he retrieved Aiden’s bag. It seemed he’d mended the strap that had been cut through.

“All there.” he assured as he handed it to Aiden, before turning to Phil, “Make sure he rests another day or so. If you don’t trust any of the symptoms, feel free to call me. It might save you an unnecessary trip to the ER.”

“Thanks,” Phil said, “I’ll uh...let you know.”

“What am I, five?” Aiden said.

“No, but you’re stubborn enough,” Phil said, “no school or work tomorrow, I’ll call them for you if you don’t cancel yourself.”

“Then what am I supposed to do all day?” Aiden asked.

“Rest,” Slade and Phil said in chorus.

Aiden rolled his eyes. It seemed there was no arguing with these two. He thanked Slade for his care, before following Phil back to the cab, a little lost in thought as his finger brushed past the piece where Slade had reattached the strap, surprisingly neatly so.

“That was weird,” Phil said, pulling Aiden out of his thoughts.

“Hm?”

“You don’t think it’s suspicious he just happened to be nearby?” Phil asked.

“He said he was on his way to a meeting,” Aiden said.

“People lie, dude.”

“The first thing he did was try to get a hold of you to let you know what happened,” Aiden pointed out.

“Maybe he just did that so he wouldn’t seem suspicious.”

“For goodness’ sake, Phil. Just a couple weeks ago you worshipped him as a hero. Have a little faith!”

“Yeah, before he was creeping after my best friend,” Phil said, “I’ve only got one of you, forgive me if I worry, damn.”

“You’re not worried, you’re obsessed,” Aiden said, “I tell you what, I just spent the whole day with him and he didn’t make a single weird comment. He was very respectful and caring.”

“Oh my God you like him,” Phil said quietly.

“What?! Don’t be ridiculous! I don’t— Well I like him, but as a person, the same way I like you a-and Mirage, or my boss!”

“Then why are you defending him?” Phil asked.

“Because you’re being a-a ...a twat!”

“And now you even sound like him~”

“Phil, I swear to God I’ll deck you, rest my ass!” Aiden said, threateningly raising his fist.

Phil laughed, remembering his friend was indeed supposed to rest.

“Okay, okay, just get in the cab. But we will talk about this later.”

“Tough luck then, I’m not going to talk about it,” Aiden said, before giving Phil the silent treatment.

<prev | masterlist | next>

[seafoamreadings]

week of september 17th, 2023

these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)

aries: the start of libra season at the equinox always heralds a highlighting of your relationships, your commitments, any sort of partnership. an almost oscillatory fire presence throughout the week boosts this. the caveat is that your 7th house also rules your enemy relationships - if you get involved in a conflict, make sure you remain on the side of justice.

taurus: it's a distinctly less taurean week this week than last. the early part of the week features some emotional partnership development, possibly drama or perhaps simply a deepening connection, but it is a fleeting influence. by the end of the week there is some flash of insight about your ancestry or family of origin.

gemini: your 4th-10th house axis is highlighted this week, calling on you to reconcile your most private life with your most public, if these are not always consistent with each other. the 10th house rules legacy among other things and the 4th ancestry among other things; with saturn in pisces, these notes are prominent. ancestral karma may not affect you but the influence of your ancestors is necessarily present in your life. how is that working out for you? do something to honor or correct it, as needed.

cancerians: by and large it's a supportive, watery week. a potential pitfall involves pluto in your 7th house getting some tense attention. if you have a partnership or an enemy of some kind causing problems, they will likely be amplified by that. if they start to crumble down, let them; restore it later if you want to and if it is possible, but attempts to hold it together will only stress you. gravity wins in the end.

leo: money and resources are your focus this week, with the building you live in being a potential drain. perhaps it is time to find a new dwelling, or just do your best to liven up where you are. however, as you do so, go way out of your way to avoid debts to others, and don't attempt to collect on any debts owed to you at this time.

virgo: there's no beating around the bush, relationships are likely in chaos at this time. don't make enemies out of your friends. if you find yourself in a showdown with anyone, make sure you act only with integrity, no malice nor manipulation can help you in this. and if you don't find yourself in confrontation, count yourself lucky and avoid stirring the pot!

libra: although you may feel a bit bored through the first part of this week, libra season kicks off in just a few days from now and it enjoys a fun and romantic start. lean into those vibes and celebrate yourself and your vibrant beauty!

scorpio: the equinox occurs and then the proverbial veil begins to thin and you feel it first. you have already heard the first rustlings on the wind. it may be easy to brush off real omens as simple coincidences but resist that temptation.

sagittarius: this is a relatively peaceful week without too much structure although you should be certain your home is well enough in order. the moon passing through your sign may have you feeling a little extra wild.

capricorn: ceres trine saturn occurs over water signs but there are nevertheless earthy undertones and saturn is your ruling planet. good things take time to grow. you can't rush the seeds.

aquarius: the start of libra season plus an aquarius moon makes the very latter part of the week auspicious and pleasant for aquarians. do fun things that expand your horizons, without restricting yourself to quotidian rules and patterns.

pisces: the sun at the end of its course in virgo opposes your ruling planet neptune, towards the end of your own sign. it's psychically powerful but can also point to a nemesis of one sort or another, perhaps a person, an institution, or an inner demon.

[mermaidinthecity]

Prologue

When I think back on the Speak Now album, I get a lump in my throat. I have a feeling it will always be that way, because this period of time was so vibrantly aglow with the last light of the setting sun of my childhood. I made this album, completely self-written, between the ages of 18 and 20. I’ve spoken about how I feel like those ages are the most emotionally turbulent ones in a person’s life. Maybe when I say that, I’m really just talking about myself.

I think they might just be the most idealistic, hopеful years too. At this point in my life, I had relеased my second album, Fearless. It became the breakthrough moment I’d always dreamt of, one that catapulted my career to new realms of success. It had brought with it a tidal wave of pressures and pitfalls and growing pains. All the while, I was encountering the milestones and checkpoints of normal teenage growth. I had cataclysmic crushes and brushes with heartache. I moved out of my parents’ house and set my bags down in a new apartment. I hung photos on my walls and decorated the space where I would sob and cackle and shatter and dream. Sometimes I felt like a grown up, but a lot of the time I just wanted to time travel back to my childhood bed, where my mom would read stories to me until I fell asleep.

In my darker moments, I was tormented by the doubt that swirled loudly around my ascent and my merits as an artist. I was trying to create a follow up to the most awarded country album in history, while staring directly into the face of intense criticism. I had been widely and publicly slammed for my singing voice and was first encountering the infuriating question that is unfortunately still lobbed at me to this day: does she really write her songs?

Spoiler alert: I really, really do.

In the years since, I’ve developed a thicker skin about public criticism and the cynicism with which some people approach the music I make. At that time, it leveled me. I had these voices in my head telling me that I had the perfect chance and I blew it. I hadn’t been good enough, I had given it all and been found wanting.

I wanted to get better, to challenge myself, and to build on my skills as a writer, an artist, and a performer. I didn’t want to just be handed respect and acceptance in my field, I wanted to earn it. To try and confront these demons, I underwent extensive vocal training and made a decision that would completely define the album: I decided I would write it entirely on my own. I figured, they couldn’t give all the credit to my cowriters if there weren’t any. But that posed a new challenge: It really had to be good. If it wasn’t, it would be proving my critics right.

I had no idea how much this pain would change me. That this was the beginning of my series of creative choices made by reacting to setbacks with defiance. That my stubbornness in the face of doubters and dissenters would become my coping mechanism through my entire career from that point forward. This exact pattern of enacting my own form of rebellion when I feel broken is exactly why you’re reading these very words, and I’m re-releasing this album now.

I went through my first worldwide scandal (the mic-grab seen around the world). I experienced the weirdness of trying to get to know a boy while a swarm of paparazzi surrounds the car. Media contacting my publicist for an official statement on why two teenagers broke up. These are weird experiences to have at any age, but even more surreal when you’re 19.

I had the nagging sense that in the most intense moments of my life, I had frozen. I had said nothing publicly, I still don’t know if it was out of instinct, not wanting to seem impolite, or just overwhelming fear. But I made sure to say it all in these songs. I decided to call the album Speak Now. It was a play on the ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ moment in weddings, but for me it symbolized a chance to respond to the chatter and commentary around my own life.

Some of these emotional revelations were surprising to people. Some expected anger and instead got compassion and empathy with ‘Innocent.’ Some expected a kiss-off breakup song but instead got a hand-on-heart apology, ‘Back to December.’ It was an album that was the most precious to me because of its vast extremes. It was unfiltered and potent. In my mind, the saddest song I’ve ever written is ‘Last Kiss.’ My most scathing is ‘Dear John’ and my most wistfully romantic is ‘Enchanted.’

I’ll be forever proud of setting a goal and seeing it through. I’ll always feel shivers all over when I remember singing “Long Live” to close the show every night on tour. The outstretched hands of those bright and beautiful faces of the fans. Their support was like an open palm that reached out and helped me up off the ground when others were, frankly, mean.

These days I make my choices for those people who thought I had been good enough all along. I try to speak my mind when I feel strongly, in the moment I feel it. I’m still idealistic and earnest about the music I make, but I’m less crushed when people mock me for it. I know now that one of the bravest things a person can do is create something with unblinking sincerity, to put it all on the line. I still sometimes wish I was a little kid again in a tiny bed, before I ever grew up.

I always looked at this album as my album, and the lump in my throat expands to a quivering voice as I say this. Thanks to you, dear reader, it finally will be.

I consider this music to be, along with your faith in me, the best thing that’s ever been mine.

Yours,

Taylor

— Taylor Swift, Speak Now (Taylor's Version) (2023)

[catenary-chad]

Electra the “woke agenda train”

And why perhaps my most “out there” takes on them are dead serious. Most of them are based on happenstance and things that have changed since the 80s but I can’t unsee how unintentionally resonant a lot of stuff became. It would have been brilliant if deliberate.

Basically, their framing in canon eerily reflects a complex of neoliberal/anti-transit/covertly anti-Black ideas that are painfully relevant in the US with “waste and inefficiency” and “woke” being so blatantly weaponized right now. This is reposted from AO3 and is an expanded version of a post that blew up back in December that I worded a little too jokingly (because it was most a weird personal theory) but the themes have become so painfully relevant that it’s become a central reason why I’m such an Electra apologist.

On a purely human level, Electra is surprisingly unproblematic, especially for the mid-80s. They’re just kind of creepy vs explicitly predatory like many characters in the same niche, like Dr. Frank N Furter or Velvet von Ragnar.  They’re a downright saint by actual rock star standards.  Outside of Dinah’s Disco (which few people seem bothered by anyways) Electra doesn’t fall into the glaring transphobic pitfalls most characters of the time do.  For all the characters who rely on blatant racist stereotypes, Electra isn’t really one of them (partly because they were raceswapped very late in development for seemingly arbitrary reasons).  Funny enough, turning white electric-themed superheroes Black as a lazy way to add token diversity on teams has become a running joke in recent years, Electra was just a non-superhero example way ahead of the curve.  It’s a benign if increasingly contrived trope, partly popular because it doesn’t have major offensive implications.

Electra is actually a way more compelling character when racebent, for excruciatingly American reasons I don’t think the writers ever picked up on.  I’ll go into the broader scope of electric trains as an Other in Anglophone media in another chapter.  But making Electra specifically Black has an especially deep meaning in the context of the later 20th century-modern US. 

Even without much train knowledge, even white Americans can probably pick up on how electric trains are strongly associated with urban areas of the northeast.  They’d absolutely notice the superhero trope connection today because it’s so infamous.  They may think of how Robert Moses was notoriously racist AND anti-train/public transport.  They may think of how the exaggerated danger of subways vs driving often has class/race undertones, as anti-transit sentiment often has since the 50s.  “Six murders in two months” is what the (actually crime-ridden) 70s New York Metro saw… almost 1,200 die a year in car crashes.  

But it goes so much deeper.  

Electra is an unintentionally fascinating and tragically relevant character from a US perspective. The contrast between the framing and traits they are given vs the reality of electric trains in the US since the Reagan years plays directly into how New Deal liberalism was demonized by the party of “the party of “needn’t ask the world to turn around and help you”.  A pattern that has only become more extreme with time, morphing into the modern situation of decrying anything even remotely progressive as “the woke agenda”.  The interesting thing about this term is that it never really changed from its original AAVE meaning (being aware of societal inequalities in the US), conservatives just treat that as a bad thing.  There’s a US-specific covert antiblackness to pushing the ideas of “small government”, and this goes hand in hand with anti-rail sentiment, which as mentioned before, is widely acknowledged to have a class/racial aspect.

Which ties into how the current administration (the latest, most blatantly awful mutation of all of Reagan’s worst tendencies) turned on long-accepted government agencies this year, which oh yeah, have been a major source of upward mobility for Black people since the 60s, especially around the DC-Philadelphia area, which conveniently is also where some of the earliest rail electrification projects in the US were. Oh, and the same politicians killing those jobs are also trying to kill (often electric rail) public transit in multiple areas, which is ALSO a disproportionately Black profession.  These things all tie into each other.  These are shared train and human problems that have only become more relevant since the 80s.  You can take the “literally trains” or “not REALLY about trains” angle and it works either way.  

But this is a show that paints neoliberalism as a good thing, the absolute wrong side of train history in both the US and UK for reasons discussed in the previous chapter.  

This is a perfect illustration of how I get so frustrated by how Starlight tries to do things that could be interesting and relevant with trains but always does it in stupid counterfactual ways. It’s not stupid because it’s about trains, it’s stupid when it doesn’t even try to get trains right.  It’s tripped into some accidentally brilliant concepts (that get shut down because they’ll ruin Rusty’s entire career).  It could be a really smart and compelling show if every character was written to the standard of Greaseball.  But that’s for a later chapter

Anyways, onto the specific traits of Electra actually in the show, how they’re wrong vs real life, and what they reflect.

People often make fun of how Electra makes such a big deal of being electric and futuristic and something so alien and radical when electric trains are just kind of the norm in most countries with substantial rail networks. But in this US, this goes from kind of stupid to sad and pointedly malicious.

You know what else WAS the norm in the US (and still is in much of Europe) until Reagan started treating it as a radical freak? The big bad “liberal agenda” of the government actually funding things like social programs and infrastructure, including rail.  And you know what kind of trains are almost completely dependent on that kind of government support?  Electric ones.  EVERY SINGLE REPLICA NATIONAL represents a country that (at least circa the 80s) had a nationalized rail network that actually invested in electrification. It’s not impossible for private companies to fully fund themselves but very hard, especially now.  As an aside, the difficult getting into private industry is a noted part of why government jobs are so appealing to black employees.  

The modern incarnation of this only makes the framing more pointed.  Now it’s anything even remotely progressive dismissed as the “woke agenda”, a term far more racially loaded and explicitly anti-LGBT. Electra couldn’t look MORE like the physical embodiment of the “woke agenda” in right-wing cartoons.  It’s a weird way that their design has aged incredibly well.  Funny enough, electric trains are a VERY disproportionately LGBT interest, and racially diverse due the demographics of the cities they’re found in.  It’s just plain accurate to depict them as the groups “anti-woke” people hate the most.  

Now for some (heavily simplified) historical context for my other major points.

You may not realize this if you’re from elsewhere, but the US has very, very little rail electrification vs other rich countries.  You have some commuter rail and local transit systems in a number of cities, the Northeast Corridor and Keystone Corridor, and that’s…. about it.  Intercity service between a line of the big northeastern cities and that’s it.  The rest is all diesel domain irl.  Behold the wikipedia page for electrified lines in the US and see just how many are GONE. (Passenger service is also absolutely threadbare if not nonexistant in most of the non-electric network and often offensively slow, not even local road speed.  But that’s a whole separate can of worms) 

Why is this?  Heavy simplification, but the government subsidized highways and airports instead after WWII and that along with antiquated laws and losing mail service made passenger rail a massive money pit for most the railroads forced to continue it.  Instead of passenger rail service and infrastructure improving like basically all the other Nationals’ countries,  routes dropped like flies and many railroads sank into financial ruin until Penn Central’s collapse in the late 60s.  That’s when the government finally stepped in and took over passenger services as Amtrak.  While virtually all trains suffered from this, electric lines were hit disproportionately hard because they were so passenger-heavy and relied on increasingly dated, sometimes outright dilapidated infrastructure.  There’s another economic parallel between how Black citizens were notably left out of, or outright harmed by midcentury infrastructure  projects.  Highways and almost anything Robert Moses touched being the most blatant examples for both groups.  For trains, this only started to reverse with the shinkansen spurring worldwide high speed rail development in the mid-60s.  There was some progress in the 70s, and then Reagan swept in and crushed spending.  He wanted to quietly kill Amtrak all together.  Electra being bi suddenly becomes very dark in the context of how Reagan actually did quietly kill thousands in the AIDS epidemic. It’s been an on and off uphill battle since to get enough funding to keep things going, let alone improve or expand.  Literally left decades behind by the system due to underfunding.  

Somehow, the 2013 tour is the most accurate version of Electra as a reflection of electric passenger rail in the US.  A guy who’s been at it since the 80s that still looks like a decades-old vision of the future in a notably cheap, visibly worn out costume.  Actually the AEM-7 locomotives used at the time date to 1978, even older than that.  Bonus for the particularly elaborate makeup fitting the “slapping new paint on old equipment to make it look fresher” reputation Amtrak had earlier on.  I also love that the later more saturated and toyishly shiny toothpaste-era costumes look even MORE dated, they feel more Spirit of ‘76 or “Star Wars and Other Galactic Funk” obnoxious disco sci-fi.  Which perfectly ties in to how conservative backlash against disco and its “extravagance” in 1980 was often blatantly homophobic and racist.  Also conveniently the time period when Amtrak was trialling new electric locomotives (including one similar to the model Electra’s helmet is based on)

With all that, Electra being a rich frivolous celebrity has… implications when representing a woefully underfunded (and infamously thrifty) system.  The celebrity part technically works with how US media is so dominant and depictions of urban trains are widespread.  But “Electra must be rich” sounds like something a stingy conservative politician would say about Amtrak needing billions of dollars (to just be barely functional due to years of neglect).  Because handouts bad.  Because you must be so extravagant if you need that much.  Congrats, you now have a “welfare queen”, sucking government funds to blow on exotic pets and glitter and other frivolities.

 Painting those who need government assistance (usually coded as Black) as extravagant was directly weaponized by Reagan to destroy social programs and further inequality.  

Additionally, this “wasteful and extravagant” line has been weaponized against US government agencies and transit as an excuse to gut or destroy them in 2025.  

“Or unreliable”- electric trains have so few moving parts they tend to be notably reliable in terms of the physical locomotive/multi unit*.  A lot of their issues are actually due to structural failures with powerlines, and this is ESPECIALLY true with the NEC and other ooold electric commuter lines in the US.  This has also limited the maximum speed of trains at times.  See video below for more on this, also explains a lot of the history I’ve mentioned earlier.  

*technically CC 40104 used as Electra’s helmet actually was an unreliable model because it was trying to run four voltages pre-computerization for a uniquely European situation but that’s downright cherry picking.  The other Nez Cassé engines with that styling were reasonably reliable.  And realistic Amtrak Electra from the 80s to 2018 would be an AEM-7 (common fanon choice too) that was also fine. The fact that a notoriously pre-computer locomotive gets used to reflect anti-computer sentiment ties into how my boomer mom has noted Reagan having anti-computer views.  But this was VERY widespread at the time and distinctly aligned with anti-Japanese sentiment (Asian Electra is fascinating for very different reasons)

Anyways, huh.  Gee whiz.  Someone held back and suffering due to structural problems being blamed as personal failing.  When you think about it, the likes of “only you have the power within you” and “needn’t beg the world to turn around and help you” might be the most offensive things you could say specifically to an electric train in the US besides“lol they shoulda replaced your line with even moar I-95 lanes”

It’s funny that everything I rip Rusty to shreds for conceptually, the show accidentally accomplishes with Electra between the lines. There’s a really interesting political and economic metaphor there.  The show keeps having to project faults more true of steam engines (HIGH MAINTENANCE) and non-train traits onto electric trains to make them look bad and give the choo choo endless plot armor so the “eViL OpPrEsSoR” juice jack can’t win.  And yet they say the system is rigged against steam when it’s anything but.  Oh yeah, ever notice how media bends over backwards to spotlight steam engines even when mediocre or outright bad?  But it’s crickets for much of anything electric until they go wrong?  There’s a reason why my default image of Rusty and Electra are the 1989 Japan tour and I think raceswapping them is the best thing the show ever did.  It just exposes how backwards canon makes things.  

“Radically unthreatening 2013 Electra” is also one of my favorite versions of the character because he makes you question why things are depicted this way.  Why is this guy supposed to be scary, he’s just kind of a bitch?  Isn’t it kind of a great thing to reduce pollution by having electric trains?  Could it be that this guy epitomizes how the likes of socialized healthcare were treated as an abomination by Reagan?  It’s just kind of funny and maybe underwhelming to his intended audience but he jumps the shark into accidental brilliance in the US.

Anyways this is why I get so pissed off when people compare electric trains to electric cars or try to turn Electra into a gadgetbahn or Musk figure.  It’s offensively wrong compared to the actual politics and economics of them on every possible level.  Electric trains play into and benefit from the villified “woke agenda” in its original and appropriated sense and disproportionately suffer at the hands of “government efficiency”.  

(If you want to read more into these issues, see Jamelle Bouie, Intelexual Media (youtube, 18+), and Banks Rail/Robo Rail (youtube, train politics) )

[darkmaga-returns]

One of the founders of a major medical group that developed protocols for the treatment of the COVID-19 virus said that in choosing Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. to serve as secretary of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), President Donald Trump tapped “one of the most deeply studied, knowledgeable, sophisticated people I've ever met.”

“I mean his command of the data and the evidence, and his ability to like, interpret and surveil science, like he knows all of the pitfalls in science, all of the censorship that's been going on for decades in science, where they won't publish inconvenient papers, right?” said pulmonary and critical care specialist Pierre Kory, M.D., MPA, president emeritus of Independent Medical Alliance (IMA), formerly Front Line COVID-19 Critical Care Alliance (FLCCC).