#the small bit of character development he showed at the end was just so… unexpected?

[gojo]

i just finished trimax and oh my god how am i going to function now

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Themes in Pit Babe (or why the racing omegaverse show is deeper than you think)

As we're getting close to the end for Pit Babe, I can't help but think about the reoccurring themes around both self-worth and self-determination that are coming through in the show. It's very unexpected, but also a big part of what I love about it (reminder, I adore shows with heart). So let's talk about it a little bit.

Part 1: Self-Worth & Characterization

Let's start with the characters. First up:

Tony's "kids" (which just so happens to be most of the cast).

It's incredibly important that all of these men were "acquired" as small children, and then raised within an abusive household.

We don't get clear info on all of their backgrounds, and where they came from, but removal of children from their biological family is almost always a traumatic thing (even in cases where it is genuinely necessary). We know in the case of Babe that Tony ruined his father financially to make giving up Babe seem like an act of care, and it's not a stretch that he did similar things to get other children, particularly those with special abilities he deemed potentially profitable.

Once they were in the household, they experienced varying degrees of abuse. Tony doesn't seem to get physical with everyone, but Babe was definitely extremely isolated, and considering how close in age the rest of them are, and how most of them didn't know about each other, it seems like he did keep them all under very strict limitations. No outside school, no enrichment, just focus on developing their abilities. They were expected to be silent and obedient, and to produce the results that Tony wanted (or make themselves otherwise useful), or they were disposable.

In short, none of them had a healthy childhood, and all of them have varying degrees of trauma as a result.

Babe

Babe had the experience of being with a loving father, who then handed him over to Tony. Although his father saw it as something that would give his son a positive future, for Babe, it was the most severe kind of rejection. And once he was in Tony's hands, it was made abundantly clear that his only value was in his alpha senses.

When he managed to leave Tony's house, he tried to find something to give himself a sense of identity, and succeeded with racing. But it becomes clear through the series that his "Pit Babe" bravado is a facade, and underneath he is still deeply insecure and feels unworthy. There's nothing wrong with keeping sexual encounters to one time events, but through his time with Charlie we learn that he desperately wants love, and has been keeping relationships at bay to avoid further rejection.

Charlie

Charlie seems confident a lot of the time, in his assertive pursuit of Babe, and his steadfastness in keeping to the path that he is on. But the further we delve into it, it becomes more clear that although he is driven by his love for Babe, and permanently freeing Babe from Tony's clutches, he is not at all confident when it comes to his own self-worth. His plan to make Babe think he was dead seems terribly cruel, until you realize that he genuinely did not think it would devastate Babe. He isn't kidding when he offers to die to give Babe his powers back. He wants to be there for Babe, he wants to take care of him, but he also sees himself as nothing particularly special or irreplaceable.

Jeff

Jeff has a lot of similar qualities to Charlie, which makes sense if they were allowed to spend time together as children. Jeff also is similarly confident in his belief that Tony has to be stopped, in the path he is on, and that sometimes bad things have to be done for the cause. Where Jeff's self-worth comes in is around his abilities. The story of Cassandra is a tragedy for a reason - prophecy is not the gift that it would seem to be. Again, we don't know what Jeff has experienced in his childhood, but he has definitely experienced people around him being put off and uncomfortable due to his visions. As he gets closer to Alan, he brings up the challenge of dating someone like him multiple times, because he is genuinely struggling to understand why anyone would go through the trouble of loving him.

Way

To be clear, having experienced abuse is never an excuse to hurt others. But it is important to understand just how much damage can happen when someone is told for their entire childhood that they have no inherent value, and are only worthy for what they can do for someone else.

We don't know what Tony's plans were before Babe ran away. What was Way being raised for? What were the plans for him? Enigmas are very rare, his abilities are really valuable on their own, so one would expect that Tony planned to keep him close, and keep utilizing him as needed. Which means it was likely made very clear to him that his freedom to go out into the world, join the racing team, and form his friendship with Babe was all contingent on him staying obedient - or he could lose it all.

*Side note - the interesting thing here is how long Babe & Way had been friends. Because Tony strikes me as someone who is both extremely impatient, and someone who would have zero issue with obtaining his goal through sexual assault. Which yes, Way does finally cross that line, but what about all the years before then? It just seems like he might have been finding ways, possibly through his powers, to keep Tony at bay. Until Charlie showed up and Way made some extremely bad choices.

Again, hard to know without the full backstory - but Way's lack of self-worth feels like it comes with a side of despair. Tony will win, Tony always wins, Tony can take everything away, so there's no point in fighting.

Kenta

This last episode made it very clear just how terribly Kenta has been abused by Tony. His insistence on being grateful to Tony makes me wonder if he was someone who had an abusive family of origin as well, or if he was an orphan who felt rescued by being brought this this wealthy man's home. Or perhaps it was just that Tony constantly reinforced that as someone without powers, Kenta was lucky that Tony deigned to keep him around.

For those who are not familiar with abuse dynamics it can be hard to understand why there would be such loyalty to someone so cruel. But that's the insidious thing. Kenta was raised to believe that he only mattered if he mattered to Tony. His sense of self-worth is entirely wrapped up in Tony. He had a shining spot in his friendship with Pete, but Pete left. Kenta sees that as a betrayal, and as proof that no one else could possibly care about him.

Pete

Pete is a really interesting one. Unfortunately we don't get to see very much of his experience in Tony's house, but he does seem to have a degree of freedom that some of the other children don't have. He is also an enigma, but unlike Way his power seems to be more empathy-based. And I think that this empathy is key. He seems to be able to both evoke memories/feelings in others (he seemed to do this when Kenta was attacking him), and read what others are thinking & feeling.

Pete doesn't struggle with his self-worth like the others do, because he is more focused on those outside of himself. He can see the pain that others are dealing with, and it gives him purpose. One could argue that it's to an unhealthy degree - his own wants & needs are important. But to him, the mission is what matters. His self-worth is created through his goal of freeing others from Tony & men like him.

And now for the few men who managed to escape being adopted by Tony:

Alan

Again, not much backstory, but it seems like Alan was raised in a relatively loving and privileged home. He leads with compassion and understanding. He's not aggressive and he never talks down to people. He gets awkward at times, but overall is a confident business owner and Uncle to his collection of idiots. He's a man who seems to get a fair amount of self-worth out of taking care of others and bringing people under his wing.

Kim

Kim rocks, and he knows it. This is a man who has zero struggle with his sense of self-worth. He knows his inherent value has nothing to do with winning or losing, he just enjoys a good challenge. He has a strong moral compass, and will do the right thing just because. This man is self-worth goals.

Sonic & North

They are idiots, but they are comfortable in who they are. They know where they belong, they aren't offended by not being key racers for their team, they just find where they fit and make it work. Also you have to have confidence to dress like these two.

Dean & Winner

We don't get a ton of characterization with these two, but they are a good example of what happens when you tie your self-worth with winning, or otherwise being "superior" to others. This kind of self-worth usually comes with a pretty huge dose of insecurity, and feeling like you have something to prove.

--------------------

Gah, this has gotten longer than I expected.

Coming soon: Part 2: Self-worth & Relationships

[silent-words]

If you feel like writing it, would be awesome to see more of your take on Modern AU with Professor Dekarios. 🙂

I read 'Thirst Thoughts' and it sure is 🔥

Thank you so much! Have you read The Blue Flower? It is actually written with my Modern AU Tav Kitani (yes, in my head I develop Modern AU with one character). I think I'll end up like @auroraesmeraldarose with one fic set in Faerun and another fic in Modern AU.

Sorry that it took so long to answer! Here is a little peak into that AU, although not so hot this time. It just came to me this way.

Coffee

Kitani's mood was just as bad as that powdered coffee she was trying to drink. She spent the whole night finishing her report for the conference she currently attended. She had to deliver the report in the next section, and due to lack of sleep she had to consume some caffeine during this coffee break. Kitani had to concentrate, or she would make a mistake. And in that case her ever-present academic rival would not fail to point at it. Of course he would deliver in the same section. Maybe his performance would have been more suitable at the general section, with his overconfidence. But he did make decent research. One of the best scholars, who researched Victorian poetry, that she could not take from him.

She looked into the cheap plastic cup and sighed. Practically all her fellow lecturers, as well as professors and assistants around her were holding paper cups from the small coffeeshop on the ground floor. Her finances, though, wouldn't allow her to throw around money on cups of coffee. At least in her department they had a decent coffee machine. She gathered her will, took a sip and winced.

'How can you endure the, erm, flavour of this concoction, doctor Kuoroa?' She heard the familiar baritone and turned her head. Just next to her stood the very person she had thought about just now. A mane of brown hair with with grey streaks, rectangular glasses and a wide genuine smile – the standard view she had got used to during the last couple of conferences. And, of course, a paper cup in his hand.

'Not all of us have professor's salary, doctor Dekarios,' she quipped, 'some of us have to ration their consumption to survive.' The reaction was unexpected. She thought he would laugh and tease her, maybe make a bad joke. Instead he furrowed his brow in concern for a second, but then smiled again:

'Cannot argue with that. But if, theoretically, you had spare money to buy coffee, which one would it be?'

'Well,' she laughed, 'not the one i'm holding, that's for sure. I bet it would be latte with lavender syrup.'

'He looked genuinely surprised. She wanted to know why:

'Is something the matter? You look as if you've found out I'm a werewolf.'

'Not exactly,' he chuckled, 'I just thought you liked your coffee as you wore your makeup – completely black. It's not a slight on your appearance, doctor Kuoroa, just an observation.'

'I'm full of surprises,' she said, 'that are yet to be uncovered.'

'If it's a challenge, I'll gladly take it up. Now excuse me, I'll be right back.' With that he disappeared in the crowd. Kitani's coffee was already cold and undrinkable, so she decided to leave it on the table. Well, without caffeine she would have to survive on her own venom. She had plenty of it, for sure.

In a couple of minutes she was already moving towards the conference-hall, when suddenly she heard her name. "Doctor Kuoroa, please, wait a bit!" It was doctor Dekarios, now holding two paper cups, one in each hand. He approached Kitani and outstretched his left hand towards her:

'That's yours. Your luck they had lavender syrup.'

She looked at the cup in disbelief:

'I told you, I cannot pay you...'

'You don't need to. Consider it a present. Besides,' he added with a wink, 'I need my favourite academic rival in good shape!"

'Okay, then,' she took the offered cup, 'I'll show no mercy towards your report.'

'I'll be looking forward to it,' he said excitedly.

She took a sip of her new coffee. This lavender latte felt heavenly. Not because it was just a good coffee, but because someone let her a hand in dire times.

No beta we die like overexhausted academics.

[streets-in-paradise]

The Last Challenger - Ajax x Fem Greek!Reader (requested)

Requested by @lovely-cryptid​ 

“  I was wondering if I could request something with Ajax. Like maybe him winning reader (afab if possible) in a gladiator match and maybe she's a little afraid of him (because have you seen him??) But he just really wants her as his wife and is beyond ready to claim his prize 😌” 

First time writing for Ajax, I have to admit I feel better with the final result than what i expected at first. Hope you will enjoy it :) If you do and want to see more, i felt comfortable enough with this character to keep writing for him. My askbox will remain open for more requests. 

Word Count 3 K

Warnings: This includes mentions to reinterpretations of some events happening on the myths, headcanons that I develop through connecting those events with the views and characterizations of the film. 

Summary: The marriage tournament for your hand takes an unexpected turn when Ajax the Great,the famous salaminian hero, arrives at your doorstep demanding to join. Remembrances of the past in the legendary history of Greece combine with your own fears regarding the new challenger to make you hate his high chances of winning, but he is very interested in surprising you. 

Mythology glossary: Iole - Princess of Oechalia, daughter of Eurytus. Her hand was the prize in an archery competition that Hercules won. Her father refused him the right to her anyways and that angered the hero. Hercules ended up killing her father, her brothers, and abducting her to make her his concubine. Those actions indirectly led him to his death when his wife Deianira accidentally poisoned him thinking she was giving him a love potion. 

Notes: Regarding my warning, i want to elaborate a bit. Since one of the main topics of Troy as a film is the tension between power and love, I’m imagining the oath of the suitors happened but it was corrupted by Agamemnon in favor of his brother. The conflict in this oneshot is narratively constructed as a paralel to that situation. 

A competition was taking place in the island of Same and you were its prize. King Odysseus, the supreme ruler of the small insular domain centered in Ithaca, advised it when your father came to him seeking guidance. After the apparently brilliant solution he provided for the marriage arrangement of Helen in Sparta many other fathers began to consult him at the time of deciding the fate of their daughters. 

The oath of the suitors brought peace to the country, but it was very fragile. The Atreides corrupted it and the result was a political marriage that didn’t fully satisfy either of the parties. King Menelaus got nothing more than a beautiful wife and Helen didn’t seem much happy at his side. Odysseus felt somewhat responsible for that and his advice for you went in a completely different direction. Your father was an influential noble in an island of his own kingdom who he didn’t want to disappoint when the unexpected consequences of a similar flawless sounding plan would ruin your life. 

The men wanting you for a wife would have to face each other in combat, allowing the matches to be to the death if the context required it. An exaggerated solution on the surface, but it had a motive behind. The king wanted to make sure you would be given to a man who would love you for real, so only the ones willing to risk everything for you would remain in the competition. Unlike in the case of Helen, there was no political risk if your suitors would fight for you and he would be there to make sure that the possibility of death would remain only as a dissuading threat. 

The execution of the scheme ended up more troubled than its conception and once more an unexpected consequence altered the conceived situation. No famous heroes were expected to show up, since Same was part of a peripheral kingdom and you weren’t even a princess.It was a tournament for the hand of a modest insular beauty. Still, despite the limitations in that small world, news traveled fast and whispers began to caress the shores of its corners. In more relegated areas those became rumors speaking of the coming of age of a modern Iole and it was a matter of time until a modern Hercules would feel tempted. Ajax the Great, born and raised in the arid island of Salamis, wanted you from the very first moment he heard of you. 

Following the footsteps of the greatest hero in greek history was a big ambition of his. His own legend was constantly growing on comparisons that Ajax accepted pridefully, shaping his glory behind Hercules’. Succeeding in that tournament and making you his wife would bring one more parallel to his tales. Without a jealous Deianira on the way, he could even get a full triumph where his predecessor found death. He had nothing to lose, if gossips were right you were the perfect wife for him.  

His arrival was a scandal, the already established contestants weren’t happy about it. The tournament had already started and surviving that far to end up in the surprise inclusion of a new adversary was unfair for them. The complaints were, of course, a facade for a very sensate spread of fear.  No one, not even the ones more strongly infatuated with you, wanted to face him in combat. 

It was the oath of the suitors all over again, one man with an evident advantage twisting the initial setup in an unexpected turn of events. What Menelaus obtained through the political power of his brother, Ajax was going to get through brute force. Your father was terrified of refusing his request to join or denying him the win, since everyone knew that didn’t end up well for the King of Oechalia. A man as strong as that one, a true heir of Hercules, would have easily killed him to steal you as his concubine like it was remembered in the legends. 

One day of pause to the competition was given by the king to revisit the situation and he personally advised you would be sent to meet the new challenger. Odysseus knew him better than your father did, Ajax would perhaps reconsider it if you were against the idea because he wasn’t a cruel man. Not outside of the battlefield, at least, he was kind with his friends and way less bad tempered than Achilles. The recommendation specified that you should be alone, but your father was too afraid to pay any attention to that part. Under no circumstance he would leave you alone with that man, not even if Odysseus would command it. 

The meeting took place under his watch and you presented yourself covered by a veil, sign of modesty and decorum. Ajax could still see your face through the transparent cloth and he found you stunning beyond all expectatives. Delicate as a flower, beautiful like a divine dream. 

His intense staring was starting to make you uncomfortable, but he seemed entranced. 

“ Most of the contestants for the hand of daughter already know her. “ Your father was explaining to him, evidently disgusted by his lack of attention. “ They are the sons of the most excellent noblemen of the kingdom and they have seen her face uncovered. You,foreigner, will have to win the right to move the veil. “ 

Ajax knew what he meant, in no other context they would have left him to aspire having such a radiant bride. His island was poorer than Ithaca and Same, all he had to compete against the other suitors was the strength of his arms. 

“ That would not be a problem, sir.” He cheerfully replied. “ I have fought merciless combats for rewards that were infimal compared to the one your challenge offers.” 

He glanced at you and smiled, but you were petrified of fear. The man in front of you was the biggest you had ever seen. Astonishingly tall and of an enormous muscular complexion, rough looking from all the possible angles. You felt tiny and helpless just from being there with him, not precisely how you would prefer to feel for your husband. He looked less as the man asking for your hand and more as the invader who would drag you by the hair out of your home to make you his slave. It wasn’t his fault to be the living image of the kind of man you were taught to fear by common sense, but that was the exact first impression you got from him. 

“ May I speak?” You interrupted and he looked as if he was illusioned from hearing your voice for the first time. “ I’m afraid your epithets are too well assigned, son of Telamon. ‘ Ajax the Great’, ‘ the breaker of stones’, the man before my eyes has no fair challenger in this household. All my suitors are great warriors, but they are lesser to you in skill and size. There is no honor in winning a combat so despair, stealing the wife meant for someone else. “ 

Your words were meant to twist your father’s demeaning speech into something that sounded flattering, hoping he would desist after that exhortation. 

“ Are you calling me a cheater?” Ajax summarized, in a simpler speech delivered with an amused tone. “ I see things the other way around. Weaker men are unworthy of you, even if they are richer.” 

“ Strength is a quality of warriors and measuring yourself against men you already know you will defeat shows nothing but arrogance. “ You quickly replicated, desperate to make things work your way. “ Justice would demand you to fight against a hero of similar reputation and my king happens to know one. Achilles of Phthia is a great friend of his. Maybe we should hire him to fight against you on my father’s behalf.” 

That was a threat that would have scared any sensate man, specially because you had the means to accomplish it. Your king was the only one that the myrmidon warrior listened to, he would come to his aid like he wouldn’t do for anyone else. 

Ajax laughed, loudly and frankly, as if he didn’t care in the slightless for what you said. 

“ You look very cute making threats, little one.” He mocked you right away. “ I have heard of him, but I'm sure I would wreck him in half and  your king would not appreciate that. I have a more practical solution, with your permission I would present it.” 

He gave one step closer to you and you shivered. 

“ Look at me, beautiful. For how many of the others do you think I’m worth in battle?” 

Your father was murdering him with his eyes, but there was nothing he could do about it. 

“ I’m not sure, around four men?” Was your doubtful reply, ashamed of being contextually forced to observe his body on purpose. “ … Maybe five, if we count the shorter ones.” 

You made him laugh once more and one thing was for sure, he at least cared for your opinions. The fact that you were speaking more than the head of your house in a meeting where you were just meant to be seen showed that. 

“ Pick four of the biggest and there you have a fair match” 

Your disbelief to his said was still quite fun to see for him. 

“ Two rounds of two against one sounds good to me, but the final word is on my father.” 

The man was inflexible, he would gladly pick a way to kill the newcomer before allowing him to even think of having you. 

“ Four against one, she is yours if you survive.” 

That was practically a death sentence, even if the lonely challenger was the strongest of them all. The point was to dissuade him, force him to leave or get rid of him in the process. Whatever would take to get him away from you, he was willing to make it happen. 

The meeting was a complete failure, since Ajax wasn’t giving up. If anything, it made him feel a stronger determination in his purpose. It wasn’t about evocating the old legends anymore, he didn’t care for making you an accessory on his rising to glory. It got personal, he fancied you for real. He would have accepted to fight those opponents even if the prize would have been one look into your uncovered face and an innocent smile of congratulations. What had been promised to him was way greater, a reward worth for his maximum efforts. One combat afterwards you would be his wife, he couldn’t wait to have you in his arms. 

By that point you were dangerously aware of that, the way in which he kissed your hand goodbye before you would retire from the room wasn’t a definitive farewell. More like a ‘ see you soon’ full of longing coming from an hopeful man. He was going to kill everyone to get you or die trying, what wasn’t something nice to think about in your place. Heroes would usually come victorious from impossible tests, your father had as many chances of getting rid of Ajax as King Eurystheus had of killing Hercules. 

Twelve times the infamous mycenaean king tried and nothing worked, labor after labor of magnificent feats accomplished. In more noble circumstances, neither King Eurytus of Oechalia managed to protect his daughter from the desire of the hero and you seemed doomed to share her fate. Being handled to a savage that would treat you like a concubine, that if your family would manage to survive his wrath. Only resignation would keep them alive, your protective father who just wanted to assure you a good marriage would have to powerlessly let you go following that barbaric stranger. 

Odysseus tried to comfort you after he received the news, he said that it wasn’t in any way a bad marriage arrangement. Atypical, perhaps, but so was the one that got him his wife. He wasn’t approved by her family right away, they considered him a lesser prospect, and it was Penelope who chose him after falling in love in fast, chaotic circumstances. His biggest concern was trying to avoid actual deaths from happening, which he more or less handled good before the arrival of Ajax. No matter how much he would insist on claiming there was a nice man for you to discover behind the rough facade of the hero, aspect he was aware of because he knew him, that didn’t matter to you. 

He wasn’t going to be the one in his bed the night after the wedding party, he would return to Ithaca with his wife and son while you would be stuck there waiting for that giant to tear you apart and call that a marriage consummation. After that, you would have to leave your homeland and move to Salamis to stand it everyday without any familiar faces there to comfort you. If you would be lucky, you would get pregnant soon and that would grant you some rest from him. 

The combat took place the next morning and you witnessed it like a condemned waiting for execution. Before its start you closed your eyes in a silent prayer to Hera, goddess of marriage, begging not to be handled to a brutal man. Little to no hope was left for you moments afterwards, when you actually watched him fight. Pure horror that you couldn’t dissimulate, his war hammer was impossible to block even with the cohesive work of four opponents working towards survival. Ajax was not only trying to win that combat, he was giving a show in hopes of impressing you. In his mindset, that was his best way of winning your admiration. 

You were so scared that you wanted to cry, men were falling like wheat before a harvester’s sickle. Once his hard work was completely done he smiled at you with inexplicable sweetness, as if he was seeking your approval for it. He wanted you to like him, that fight was his odd attempt of actively courting you. Perhaps he wanted you as more than the prize won with an epic massacre, it was said that Ajax’s biggest ambition was surpassing Hercules. 

In that, at least, he was already greater than him. The son of Zeus didn’t show the slightest care for Iole when he killed her entire family to keep her as a kidnapped possession. Ajax cared for being wanted by you, he wanted to accomplish your consent on the marriage. His face was still splattered of blood, but he was looking at you with blatant adoration. It was a slightly comforting detail you noticed at the time your fate was completely sealed. 

As tradition recalled, you moved your veil for him and his lips parted to the sight of you as if he would be contemplating the face of a goddess freshly down from Olympus. The soft reaction got a shy smile from you, spontaneous reaction to such a sweet gesture. He looked blissful as if he would have won the hand of Helen, the most beautiful woman who ever existed. 

The wedding had to be postponed in respect to the funerals of those who fell trying to win you. Twelve days separated you from it, as it was stipulated by the customary rituals, and you took that chance to get to know him better. Approaching him by yourself wasn’t even necessary sometimes, since he was pretty much up to finding any excuse to see you. However, everytime you would seek for his company on your own he was particularly happy and he wouldn’t even dissimulate it. 

Ajax was, to your incredible surprise, the sweetest man you have ever met. Extremely careful in every touch, as if you were made of crystal and he was afraid of breaking you. Having to bend down to kiss your forehead didn’t seem a bother to him, but he would joke about how you would have to get ready to get picked up often. 

“ I’m a man of honor, I will not try it now, but I want you to be comfortable when I will be kissing you.” He explained to you once, expectantly of your reaction to that. “ To be honest, that’s all I think about. Twelve days feel like a year knowing I'm about to become your husband.” 

You couldn’t help smiling at such tender confession. 

“ Well, to be honest this is better for me.” You shyly admitted. “ It gives us time before the formalization, which is great because you were a stranger to me a few days ago.” 

Ajax chuckled to the reminder of your initial attitude. 

“ Not only a stranger; a despicable brute. “ He recalled with amusement. “ First impressions are hard for me when the goal is not about frightening the enemy. “ 

He took your hand while his glance searched for yours. 

“ Are you still afraid?” 

“ Way less than before.” Was your quite frank reply to that sensible question. “... but still a little bit.” 

It didn’t disencourage him, but he was curious about that. 

“ Mind to tell me why? “ He cheerfully insisted. “ Anything, even the simplest thing I can do to change that, I will try. I want to make you happy, as happy as you make me. “ 

One particular doubt you had, you were too ashamed to ask. His disposition to hear you made you want to share it with him, but it wasn’t an easy topic. 

“ It’s not about you, not directly at least. You have been very sweet lately and I feel this is unfair to mention…” 

Ajax was attentive to your words and did his best to hold a chuckle when you finally opened up to him. 

“... I’m scared about the wedding night.” 

It was adorable, just the worries of a frightened maiden, perhaps a bit concerned about the challenges of his body size. 

“ When the time comes, you will be ready.” He comforted you, wrapping his arms around you in the same action. “ … but in the meantime, I can help you get used to the feeling of my body against yours.” 

The hug lasted for your entire conversation and the sensation wasn’t bad at all. If he could keep that lovely patience, despite it was clear to you that it was a bit of a struggle for him, you could totally get used to it. 

[thatseventiesbitch]

Hii ther!!, first of all, i just wanna say that you are one of the best donna and eric accounts I know i really like your content and your fics and how you write it❤️❤️.

So my question for you is what do you think happened after the end of t7s or if you have any headcanons of what happened with donna and eric? (for example they raising a little leia in chicago and at the same time studying/working)

Once again, i absolutely adore your work, have a nice day <3

Thank you so much for those lovely words, anon! I love Eric & Donna so much, and spreading the ❤️ for them via my blog and writing. It makes me happy to see others enjoying them too!

So, I have a vision for a (quite long, complicated) story that bridges the two series - T70S and T90S. How did the characters get from December 31, 1979 to July 4, 1995? Eric & Donna navigating their unexpected pregnancy would be one of the main plots, so a lot of my headcanons developed there.

The story's a work-in-progress, but in the very early stages right now, so I might as well share a little (without giving away all the twists and turns I have planned. I do hope to post the full story one day)! 😊

Eric/Donna Post-Finale Headcanons

Eric went back to Africa after the finale - he had another 6 months to go. But he and Donna spent the night together on New Years Eve before he headed back to Africa and she headed to UW-Madison - and that's when Leia was accidentally conceived.

Completing college was a dealbreaker for Donna. It was incredibly important to her to finish her degree. She was a kickass student-mom and graduated in 3 years (she did all of her generals at Point Place Junior College, remember?)

Eric graduated a year or two later, and became a middle school math teacher (who runs the campus Star Wars club). He worked a lot, sometimes 2 jobs, to keep them on their feet when Leia was born.

The baby was the catalyst for Eric to finally grow up/mature/get his life together. Fatherhood really changed him for the better.

They got married at the courthouse shortly after Eric gets back from Africa. On their one year anniversary they have a small ceremony in Red & Kitty's backyard.

I think they stayed in Wisconsin for the early years, because they relied on Red & Kitty's help a lot. The move to Chicago came a little bit later, when Leia was school-aged. Leia had a tough time adjusting socially at her new school, and getting involved with the music program was what helped her finally make friends.

Leia was born premature, and Donna's water broke unexpectedly while she and Eric were at a showing of The Empire Strikes Back (again). It plays a role in Donna agreeing to the name.

I have a lot of others, but I'll stop there. 🤣

Thank you again for your kind words, and for reading/supporting my content! ❤️

[schrodingers-neurodivergent]

I see a lot of focus on Jupe's role in NOPE, and while I believe that to be completely understandable and deserved considering the impact him and his actions have to the story, I think there's a lot of people overlooking the tragedy of Mary Jo Elliot's character. I mentioned her briefly in a separate post of mine on the meaning of the upturned shoe, but I thought I'd expand a bit more on it to settle the nest of brainworms that have gathered in my head.

MJE, to me, has such a tragedy about her compared to her fellow child star, Jupe. The Gordy's Home incident was undoubtedly traumatic to both actors, and I don't want to try minimise or ignore the immensely painful past of Jupe because I do believe he was victimised heavily, by his exploitative child star career, by the Gordy's Home incident, and also the huge spectacle following Gordy's Home. However, when I think about MJE, I really do believe she plays a small, yet vital part in NOPE.

MJE was a young girl when Gordy attacked her following the unexpected pop of a balloon on the set. We witness a very concealed verson of the incident, as it is shown through the perspective of young Jupe underneath the table, but the sounds of the incident don't leave much uncertain as to the viciousness of the attack. We hear flesh ripping, yells, all the while her body is half concealed by the furniture of the set.

I think it's interesting how we're shown MJE. We are shown her child star face through sitcom clips prior to the incident and the t-shirt she wears at the Jupiter's Claim. I think the fact her child self is not ever truly separated from pain and trauma tells us a lot about how her and Jupe have responded to the events of that day. Both of them have been turned into a spectacle and rely on their past to get by.

The only time we see MJE's face, is the glimpse we get when she looks up at Jean Jacket. We see her face bearing the marks of her past, as she stares up at what would be her end.

It feels utterly heartbreaking to me that she had went through so much, only for her to end up digested slowly in Jean Jacket's flesh cylinder overnight, in the sticky and claustrophobic space surrounded by everyone else who went to Jupiter's Claim.

And it makes me think about just how much Jupe was reliant on spectacle. He knew MJE was coming out as he had introduced her, perhaps he had even invited her to it. I don't think it's too far of a stretch to say they likely became quite close after the Gordy's Home incident, and developed a trust of sorts.

Jupe, being aware of this colossal creature that feasts on things, and using it to bring in profit while endangering the life of Mary Jo Elliot, and so many others, shows us just how far he was willing to go for the show. for the spectacle. for the drama of it all.

I think MJE plays a vital role in showing the full extent that some people will go to just for the spectacle. While the motorbike influencer and Antlers do also help in demonstrating this aspect, the significance of MJE, wearing her child face, being swallowed by Jean Jacket almost feels like, to me, that Jupe has fed her past to it aswell.

He never let things be, he never sought out a different approach to success or appreciation, he has always relied on the hurt and pain of himself and those around him to get by. Whether it be his memorabilia room, OJ jr's horses, or anything else, they all, ultimately, end up being used for spectacle. And Mary Jo Elliot is all of this personified.

[lucifers-horror-harem]

Please fulfill my NSFW request. Where the S/O have the innocent and kind personality and doesn't know what sexual intercourse is and Slachers Michael, Jason, Brahms, Harry Wander and Pyramid Head were already together for a long time in a relationship with the S/O, to the point of being frustrated by the S/O not repairing or understanding their approach.

Hey anon! I wasn’t sure if these two were by you so I included them together and wrote some headcanons for all of them with an innocent S/O, I hope you enjoy!

Warning for some spicy references

Michael Myers:

Michael is certainly not the one to be the nicest or most understanding when it comes to your innocence. What Michael wants, Michael gets and he will be quite the bastard about it.

His dark eyes would narrow at you through his mask, watching as you got flustered and embarrassed at his advances. Depending on his mood at the time, he might simply leave you alone to do his own thing, or he will slowly move his hands over your body, demonstrating exactly what he wants to do with you. 

Michael would always maintain eye contact with you as he explores your body, warming you up to the point where you would start to get comfortable with his touch and let him show you what exactly he was interested in.

Jason Voorhees:

Jason would be the best of the boys to have as a boyfriend in this sort of situation. He isn’t driven by sex in general not to mention he has always been taught pre-marital sex was bad so he would have to have been with you for a long while before even thinking about indulging in such things. In fact, it would be something you would have to initiate and if you were innocent you might not suggest it for a while.

But if the two of you were together for a while, especially in a romantic and loving sense, the two of you might find that these feelings end up developing in unexpected ways. Times where the two of you are kissing and holding each other and the two of you noticing a particular need and not being sure how exactly to quell it.

The two of you would likely explore these waters slowly for yourselves, engaging in the occasional caress or touch in areas that made the two of you embarrassed but happy that it was something you could share and indulge in together.

Brahms Heelshire:

Brahms is a virgin and doesn’t have sexual experience with anyone else, but that doesn’t stop him from longing for the moment when he can have you alone and all too himself. If you were also inexperienced, it would probably lead to a lot of sexual frustration on his part.

Brahms had finally found you, his new nanny, and he wanted desperately to be with you intimately and do all of the passionate things he had read couples do in the abundant library of books he has. So if you put off his advances, he will become bratty and a big pain, hiding in the walls as he concocts a plan on how exactly to get you to understand what he wants.

He will finally decide that he must do what the characters do in his books; seduce you. So you’ll have a very clingy Brahms telling you sweet nothings in that husky adult voice of his, giving you small touches that leave you wanting more, and dropping both subtle and not so subtle hints about just how much he is attracted to you. He may be a brat but he is a cunning and manipulative brat.

Harry Warden:

Harry Warden is someone who is quite touch starved himself, so he might not be the most physically affectionate of slashers until he gets used to being around you for a while. He knows what sex is but has his insecurities so he won’t push you too hard until he knows you’re there to stay.

But once he knows that, things will get a bit sticky. He will start to get drunk off of the soft touches and caresses the two of you share. Wanting more and more, it will be a struggle for him to not let his trembling hands take you and guide you to the places he really wants you to touch.

Once things get heated up and his trust in you grows, he will be more likely to be a bit more urgent in his guidance. You’ll slowly begin to understand what he needs, and the two of you are more likely to engage in many sessions of heavy petting before anything goes any further.

Pyramid Head:

Pyramid Head isn’t necessarily skilled or knowledgeable about sexual things, but he certainly has a particular ache that cannot be satiated when he is with you.

Expect a lot of rough pawing and groping, his hands exploring you though not knowing exactly what part of you he craves. He will stop if you ask him to, though he will still get handsy with you often. When he scoops you into his arms and holds you to him as he carries you around, big hands grabbing you.

Once you’re with him for a while, you’ll certainly have had enough sessions of desperate touches between you two to figure out what step to take next.

[dabilove27]

How Far We've Come

Paring: Dabi x Fem!Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Warnings: Angst, Character Death, Smut (female-receiving oral), A Cocky Dabi, Cussing, A lot of Pet Names

Word Count: 7.8K

A/N: This is my contribution to the Smut Pile Apocalypse Collab! If you have the time check out some of the other amazing pieces! Everyone has worked so hard to make some beautiful fics!

Thank you so much to my wife @lady-lunaaa for reading, encouraging, brainstorming, and helping me the whole way from start to finish. I have said it before but I will say it again. You are absolutely amazing and this fic wouldn't exist without you! 💜 Also thank you @/deathcab4daddy (not sure if you want to be tagged) for taking the time to read through and for your advice!

You've seen all those movies, the decaying zombie hoards, the massive explosions that wipe out nations, or an unexpected illness that mysteriously kills off the population. But you had never really expected for any of those apocalyptic things to become true in your own world.  They were just fiction, never something that could actually occur. Yet here you are faced with the reality of a hoard of rotting zombies. Like you have been thrown into one of the many movies or TV shows yourself.

People aren't even sure how it happened, especially in a world full of quirks where this should be somewhat controlled, right? Wrong, whatever caused this zombie apocalypse also seemed to nullify quirks over time. There was so much speculation whether it came into the water supply or passed through the air. But none of that really seems to matter anymore when you are fighting for your life every day.

And as the mass of decaying, walking corpses steps closer and closer to you, it seems like your end is near too. The smell of organs exposed to the air and sun stink up the room.  You can see the blank, milky white eyes of the undead that somehow can still find you even though they can't really see.  You've had a partner, at least—the man who has stood with you during this entire shit show.

He stands close to you, a single rusted knife covered in stagnant blood, not nearly enough even combined with whatever you could find for fighting off the seemingly endless mindless bodies coming your way. He's covered in burn scars and rusted staples that pull at his healthy skin. People used to jab at him for looking like the walking dead before all this went down.  His firepower from before would have solved this problem in an instant. This rotting mob wouldn't have stood a chance.

But instead, it looks like it's the conclusion for the two of you. Memories flash through your mind. A memory of escaping the daily struggle of your mundane life by sharing take-out on your old couch.  Or how his kisses always felt like burning flames against your lips.  Your regular life consisted of trying to numb the pain of the past with alcohol or working endless hours.  Even though you didn’t have a traditional relationship where you could go on public dates, being in a relationship with a well-known villain was worlds better than this. But if you were going to die, at least it was together. Solidarity in times like this seems to help the never-ending dread that the Reaper looming around every corner ready to take you.  Every moment in this new hell had you wished you had more time to develop your romance with him instead of the tragedy that was about to befall you. You wished you had more time with this romance and that it wouldn't end in tragedy. It's hard to believe that there was ever a time when you couldn't stand this man, but even now, that's a fond memory for you.  You would give anything to return to that old bar where the two of you met and relive all of these memories.

It really isn't a surprise that you met Dabi in a dark, run-down bar near Kamino.  No, not the "bar" run by Kurogiri; everyone who lived in this area knew that it was just a setup. This bar is a tiny little hole in the wall with paint chipping off the walls and where the seats were hardly held together anymore, but that didn't really matter to people who lived in this area. You didn't come to this bar for a luxury experience.

The main reason people came to this bar was its location.  It sat deep in a seedy area which meant no police patrolling nearby so you wouldn’t need to look over your shoulder constantly.  Plus, the cheap liquor was enticing enough.

Every Friday night, you were perched on one of the worn-out bar stools as you nursed your gin and tonic.  This was your place to unwind after another hellish week of your mundane job.  It was still early enough in the evening that the bar wasn't thoroughly packed with bodies trying to get their drink.  The music was still soft,  later it would blare whatever song was currently sitting at the top of the Billboard charts. You were able to turn your brain off and listen to other patrons' mindless chatter in the background.  You could just sip your drink, maybe take a shot or two if you felt like, and then head home to pass out.

You relished this little getaway, an oasis in the slums that made up your small world.  The bartender and regular patrons didn't bother you, so you could have your own peace.  But your Eden got interrupted by a cocky, fire-wielding asshole who had set his sights on you.

You didn't stir when said asshole plopped himself down in the barstool next to you with a thump.  It wasn't until the jerk actually spoke to you that you were brought out of your mindless daydreaming.

"Hey, pretty girl, what are you doing in a place like this?"  He said with a smooth tone.  You didn't even have to look at him to know he had an arrogant smirk plastered on his face.

Who the fuck does this asshole think he is? The irritated thought instantly pops into your head.  Anyone who frequented this bar knew you were from around here.  You weren't some soft, delicate flower that wasn't supposed to be "on this side of town."  Preparing yourself by putting on your best "I'm not interested face," you maneuvered your body to face him, ready to tell him off.

Your words caught in your throat as your eyes met his two endless pools of cerulean.  Your gaze shifted to take in the burnt skin clinging onto the shining staples that were rooted in his healthy skin. A familiar black coat spread across his frame that was even more recognizable than those eyes, and the patronizing smile that you wanted to slap off his face. As much as you wanted to throw up your middle finger at him and tell him off, you knew who this was. Hell, everyone knew who this was.

The League of Villains didn't necessarily keep quiet around here. They didn't have to. This is the area where they recruited people to join them. You didn't just flick off and ignore a LOV member. Especially the infamous Dabi, who wasn't really known for his kindness or compassion. More for his ability to burn anyone who defied The League to a crumbling crisp.

But still, who did this asshole think he is? Waltzing in here like he owned it and saddling down into your escape from the world only to tell you that you don't look like you should be here?  Fuck that nonsense, League member or not.

You swallow down a bit of the initial anger as your eyes narrow into a glare at the cocky asshole.  "Thanks but no thanks, I'm not interested in being involved with the League. So if you don't mind going somewhere else to scout, that would be great." You try to say without a tremble in your voice as you wave your hand in a "shoo" motion.

You aren't sure what you expect Dabi to do next., burn down the whole bar you included? Tell you that you have no choice but to join, and you're coming with him? Rip you out of your seat and reprimand you for disrespecting The League? But instead, none of those things happen.  Instead, he does something you don't expect, and his grin grows a little wider as the staples begin to pull more at his healthy flesh.

You can feel your anxiety rising. Get out, get out, get out, this asshole will kill you, leave NOW, your mind is practically sending off every warning signal it can.

Your chest tightens when Dabi lets out a low chuckle. "Oh no, sweetheart, you've got it all wrong."  He says with a dark tone. "I'm not recruiting you for work. My interest in you is personal."  Dabi points at you and then at himself and finishes with an infuriating smirk that seems to be mocking you.  He's moved his hand and placed it on your forearm that was resting on the smooth bar top.

A shiver runs through you as the mismatched textures of his skin and the cool metal of the staples.  You feel your anger bubbling up again.  How dare this jerk think that you will just fall for him like a desperate fangirl.  You are livid at this point, frustration coursing through your veins, fuck the niceties and preservation. He needed to be put in his place.

"I know you think you are some big shot because The League is doing so well right now but fuck off asshole.  I'm not a League groupie that will just kneel down and suck your dick just because you want it." You spit out at him while shrugging off his hand and moving your body to face the way you were initially sitting. Grasping your drink and lifting it to your lips, you try and down what was left so you could leave immediately, any extra moment around Dabi was a moment you didn't want to have.

You were sure Dabi would have given up or at least killed you by now. You can't imagine that he is used to being rejected by women.  He's handsome in a way that doesn't fit with the norm.  He fills in that bad boy check-list like it's his job, which it practically is given his profession.  Again though, Dabi surprises you with his response. He doesn't yell, he doesn't use his quirk, and he doesn't kill you. He lets out another dark chuckle like he's enjoying this and continues the conversation you had tried to cut off.

"I didn't say anything about sucking dick, but if you're offering, who am I to turn down a gift?"  That smooth tone is back as he moves his hand to your hair and runs it through his fingers.

Bewilderment overcomes you, and you can't even stop yourself before you are turned towards him again, glass in your hand, ready to throw what's left of your drink on him.

As if he anticipated the response, Dabi moves quickly and grabs your wrist in a tight grip.  "Now, why would you want to waste what you have left, doll? That's not a very smart choice." His grip tightens a little more around your wrist, and you can feel the staples begin to dig into your skin as he lets out a deep chuckle. He moves your hand back down to the bar but doesn't let go even after your glass has left your hand.  "There we go, good girl.  Now let's talk just a bit." He says sweetly, loosening his grip just a bit, but not enough for you to move your hand.

If looks could kill, Dabi would have died a cruel death by now. You are seething at this point.  But instead, you're stuck there as he continues to do whatever it is that he’s trying to accomplish.  "What were you drinking?  I'll buy you another one and then leave, okay doll?"  He says playfully and with a cunning grin on his face as you mumble out your drink order.  You just want him to leave, and you really hope he plans on keeping his word.

Dabi motions for the bartender's attention, gives your drink order and plops a few bills on the bartop. He still hasn't let go of your wrist, and each and every moment he is even touching you, you can feel your annoyance continuing to build.  You want to ask him if he's done yet and will kindly get the fuck out, but you have a sneaking suspicion that he likes the cat and mouse game, which would just lengthen the amount of time he sticks around.

The bartender finally delivers your drink, and it takes everything in you not to rip your wrist out of his grasp and grab the new glass to pour over Dabi's head.  "Okay, one last question, and then I'll leave."  He drawls out as you put all your focus into the condensation forming on your glass.  You stay silent, waiting for his stupid question so you can move on and never see him again.  Dabi continues with that condesending tone that is starting to cause your head to ache, "How often do you come here? I'd love to see you again."

Your heartbeat picks up, and little shots of adrenaline start to flow through you as you contemplate how to respond. Of course, you don't want this asshole to know when you come here. This is your escape from the world. You never want to even see Dabi again,  but something from this interaction tells you Dabi isn't going to give up easily. So you tell him your regular time that you show up at the bar every Friday.

Dabi squeezes your wrist a little bit before letting out another "Good girl, sounds like a date.  I'll see you then." You never want him to know how those few words send a shiver down your spine. He saunters out of the bar without having a single drink himself. Patrons stare dumbfounded between you and the doorway that Dabi just exited, trying to comprehend what just happened.

You let out an exasperated sigh before leaning your head down into your folded arms.  The bar top isn't necessarily the cleanest of places to lay your head, but it’s pounding and racing with thoughts, and you can't really bring yourself to care right now.  You try to formulate a plan so you won't ever see him. You'll just move your regular day to Saturday instead of Fridays.  But then that stubborn anger flares inside of you again, and you sit up straight, glancing at your newly unwanted drink as the ice slowly melts, lifting the remaining liquid in the cup.  No, I'm not going to let that asshole ruin my spot for me.  He can come around here every Friday, but I'll turn that jerk down a million times. You think a little smugly to yourself.  We will see how the big bad Dabi feels being turned down over and over.  Maybe that will sting his ego.

And so you and Dabi play this game of cat and mouse. He comes every Friday when you are there without fail, buying you a drink, chatting to you with sentences filled with pet names, and planning another "date" each time.  And every time you tell him you aren't interested or to go away, or really anything to try and get that stupid fucking smirk off his face.  But it always remains cemented there as he watches you get fired up.  And what you don't realize is the two of you are getting to know each other.  Dabi adds in little questions, "what's your favorite food, least favorite, what do you do for work?"  And the questions go on and on.  You don't realize your walls coming down as the two of you find similarities in each other.  And if there is one thing anyone who sees these frequent interactions between the two of you can say, it is that Dabi is determined.

You are so used to Dabi's Friday visits that they don't bring headaches anymore, and you realize something more has developed when he doesn't show up one week.  A mixture of feelings rests in you, anxiety, confusion, anger.  You wonder if he's okay, or has he finally given up.  And then anger if he has.  You don't want to admit it, but you miss his company, and you don't even have a number to reach out to him.  You feel a sense of loss in your chest.  How could he just give up?  He's been trying for months!  You think as tears begin to sting for a moment in your eyes.

You leave the bar that night not feeling uplifted or relaxed but sad and angry.  And you aren't necessarily looking forward to returning the week after, but you do come back to your regular spot and hope Dabi will show.  Your heart almost stops in your chest when you see him walk through the entrance of the bar, and before you can contain the words, they tumble out in a frantic sound, "where were you last week?"  You are standing in front of him now, looking up at that little grin he always has on his face whenever you get annoyed with him.  You cross your arms over your chest and exclaim, "Well? I'm waiting."

"Aw, did you miss me, baby girl?"  His poker face never falls, but his grin grows a tiny bit wider as he stares into your fiery eyes.  And without warning, he wraps one of his long arms around you, pulling you into a tight side hug.

A small eep escapes you at the movement, and you move to push him off.  "What the hell are you doing? Answer my question, you jerk!" You practically yell as you push away from him.  He doesn't let go and just pulls you tighter to him, and you find yourself not struggling anymore as you take in the weathered texture of his coat pressed against your arm and the smell of cigarettes on him.  You feel your walls starting to fall entirely, "I was really concerned about you." You let out in a whisper, not really wanting to admit it to him, but you weren't sure how you would feel if something like this happened again.

"Aw, babe, you did miss me."  The delight in his voice makes you shiver a little.  He gestures you over to your regular spot at the bar, and the two of you sit down in the weathered chairs.  He puts a calloused finger under your chin to bring your gaze to his.  You stare into his cerulean depths that you used to hate and find yourself softening a bit.  "I had to do something for The League, but I don't have your number, love.  So I couldn't call and let you know I wouldn't make our date."  His face relaxes a bit as he watches your frown turn into a bit of pout.

"Okay, well fine, I'll give you my number.  But don't just text me randomly, okay?"  You huff as you lay your palm flat and motion for his phone.  Dabi chuckles and shakes his head before handing you the phone without another word.  Lifting the phone, you type your number into the cracked screen and hand it back to him.  "Okay, now text me, so I have yours. " You say, moving to grab your phone to wait for his upcoming text.

"Hmmm, I don't think so, doll,"  Dabi says, taking in your furrowed brow and then relishing in the way you roll your eyes at his taunting.

"Fine, whatever, Dabi.  Just text me next time you can't make it."  You say sourly while searching for the bartender to order your drink.  You don't want Dabi to see the slight sting of hurt in your eyes because he won't give you his.  The rest of the night goes as expected, drinking and talking, and you find yourself laughing more, not realizing how much you truly enjoyed this time with him.

The two of you depart with another hug, this one much shorter than the first, but you find yourself leaning into the warmth that radiates from him instead of wanting to push him off.  As you begin walking down the street home, you feel a buzz in your pocket.  Pulling out your phone, you unlock it to the message from an unknown number.

Unknown Number: Hey babe, see you same time next week - D

A small smile comes to your face as you type a response back.

The following year you grow in your relationship with Dabi.  There are never really any titles between the two of you.  Just that the two of you are together.  You never meet The League. Dabi is insistent you aren't involved with them in case things go awry.  But you spend a lot of time together when work or villain work doesn't take up the time.

Your relationship together comes to a head at the very start of the apocalypse.  The two of you sit snuggled together on your worn-out couch watching the news as a young reporter stands in front of a local research building in town and goes through the facts of citizens becoming "mindless and violent in a matter of hours."  And how they have people under lockdown who are experiencing symptoms of this "mysterious illness."

A slight shiver goes through you as the reporter goes on.  "That's really scary. No one knows what's causing it,"  you reflect aloud while you lean in closer into Dabi's outstretched arm that is resting around your shoulders.

"Aw, babe, don't be scared.  Those mindless fools wouldn't stand a chance if they tried to lay a hand on you while I'm there,"  Dabi says with a glint of amusement in his voice.  He always sounds so condescending, but you know it's the truth.  Remembering a time at the bar when a guy wouldn't take no for an answer-not that Dabi really followed that either- but Dabi didn't hesitate to let the guy know you were already taken.  He flirts and likes to jab a lot, but there’s a complete shift in the atmosphere when he's serious.

"Ugh, Dabi, you know I don't mean them attacking us. It's whatever is causing it that worries me. What happens if one of us gets it?  There's no cure right now,"  You say and worry your lower lip between your teeth.

Dabi picks up on your anxious state, and his cocky facade fades.  He pulls you on his lap so that you are fully facing him with legs pressed on either side of his.  Dabi holds one large hand on your waist, and the other he presses to your cheek.  Leaning your cheek further into his hand, Dabi moves his thumb to trace over the slight marks in your lip where your teeth were just placed.  "Hey, listen to me, nothing is going to happen, okay?  I won't let any of these maniacs hurt you, and we won't catch whatever they have,"  Dabi says tenderly as he gives you a small smile.

It's nice to see him like this- when his mask of superiority disappears, and he's focused on encouraging you.  It doesn't happen often because you like to keep walls.  Comfort from Dabi doesn’t need to happen often but you can’t say you don’t like it when he does.  You enjoy these softer moments with him that only you get to see.

You pull Dabi into a light kiss.  The gentle pressure of his mismatched lips fit seamlessly against yours.  You pull away after a moment to look into his deep blue eyes that now captivate you.  Dabi has that coy smile still on his face, and as his eyes meet your in that moment, it's like the horrible events of the world aren't happening anymore.  All that seems to exist is the two of you, not the TV still prattling in the background or even the noises outside your city window.

Dabi lightly caresses your cheek down to the length of your neck and finally ending near where your collarbones sit.  Everywhere he touches leaves behind a trail of goosebumps on your skin.  Even with these simple touches, you can feel yourself starting moving against him, trying to create a bit of friction.  Dabi knew how easily he could rile you up with simple touches.  It was frustrating at times, and you wished you could have the same effect on him.

"I love you, babe.  And no matter what, I won't let anything hurt you,"  Dabi tells you, and you swear his voice seems to be cracking, but the moment is gone before you can think about it.  Dabi lives on being mysterious most of the time, and you rarely get to see this vulnerable side of him.  Even if he doesn't say it behind that mask of cockiness, you can feel that there is fear of what's happening right now.  Or at least that's what you think the fear is from, but Dabi will never admit the fear is from losing you to whatever this is.  He isn't sure he could survive this hell of a life he's been given without you.

Your heart aches at his sincere words from earlier, and you whisper back, "I love you too, Dabi."  Drawing him into a more intense kiss.  Dabi begins to run his fingers along the hem of your t-shirt and delicately brushes the skin right under with his fingertips.  You feel a moan bubble up inside of you, but his mouth moving against yours swallows the sound.

"I want you so bad, doll.  Let's just forget what's going on right now, let the world fall away,"  he says in a husky voice after breaking away from the kiss.

You nod to him before letting out a content sigh and letting your eyes fall shut while Dabi continues to trace his hands over your body.  Dabi trails his massive heated hands under the thin shirt you are wearing and down to your hips.  You can feel the bulge of his cock through his jeans as it begins to press against your clothed core.

Opening your eyes, you meet Dabi's half-lidded lustful eyes and bite your bottom lip and allow yourself to give into Dabi taking over you.

You can feel your heart beating a little faster, watching Dabi drink in every ounce of you.  Dabi is one of the only men you have ever trusted like this.  To have you so totally vulnerable.  It's strange how someone you didn't want anything to do with for months has become someone you rely on for everything- love, comfort, pleasure.

Dabi places open-mouthed kisses along your neck that leave you breathless.  "Fuck, I'm obsessed with every inch of you,"  Dabi growls out before returning to kissing and sucking your neck and exposed collar bone.

You grip Dabi's shoulder to ground you back from floating away into complete bliss and tip your head out to give him more access to your neck.  Dabi's mouth is like a flame that licks at your sensitive skin as he continues to trail his mouth all over.  You could be trapped in this pleasure forever.

Dabi grasps the back of your head and roughly brings your lips back to his.  With your mouths slotted against each other, you moan as Dabi finesses you to where you are lying on your back on the old couch, and he is hovering over you.

You break the kiss to quickly pull off his jacket and expose Dabi's scarred arms.  And just as you have only trusted Dabi fully with yourself, he has done the same.  Of course, the two of you have had sex with other people, mostly with lights off clothing still left on to hide the imperfections.  But with each other, there is no more hiding.

Heat begins to pool in your belly as you watch Dabi pull off your shorts and slide his warm hands all the way back up your leg and massage the plush skin of your thighs.  Once your shorts are removed, Dabi brings himself back to your face and, with a lustful sigh, traces kisses on your jaw and neck.

"Just relax and let me take you away from all of this, love.  I want to hear every sound you make." He growls as he moves down towards your pussy and lays himself between your spread legs.  Dabi lifts your thighs to rest on his shoulder as you let out a little gasp.  You can feel the excitement and heat rising in you.

Dabi kisses down the inside of your soft thighs and stops to suck at certain spots, leaving minor marks in their place.  He stops for a moment until you are looking directly into his captivating gaze, and then he licks a stripe up your pussy over the cotton of your underwear.  You let out a breathy moan at the sensation.   That jerk knows precisely what he's doing.

Dabi then grabs the thin material of your underwear and rips them away from your body with a tear. Groaning, you are about to curse at him for ruining another pair but are cut short when he sleekly licks up your folds. A delicate, playful moan leaves your separated lips.  Your eyes close, and you cling onto his white shirt to ground yourself.

"Baby girl, you're soaking wet," Dabi teases as if you weren't aware but cuts off any retort again with a quick suck to your aching clit. You can't hold back the loud moan that bubbles up in your throat.

Dabi smiles against your lower lips and continues his ministrations.   His mouth is open wide, so he can move back and forth from quickly licking up and down your sensitive pussy as well as suck softly on your clit.   You feel light-headed at the extended sensations, little whimpers and moans falling through your lips.  Dabi has always been able to leave you speechless with just his mouth.

"Dabi please," Your breathing hitches, and you moan out as he flicks his tongue repeatedly over your small bud. You can feel that hot pressure building in your stomach as Dabi continues. He laps at you like you are holding the only source of liquid left in this world, his tongue working wonders on your dripping hole.

Dabi pulls back and looks up at you as you eagerly meet his blue eyes, begging him to continue.  He smirks before lowering his mouth back down and laps at your sopping core teasingly.  Fucking bastard.  Always a tease from day one.

Dabi licks his lips before returning to eating you out even faster as a series of cries and obscenities continue to fall out of your mouth.  You can't hold them back.  His mouth is so hot and wet against your core.

With another curse, you tell him you are close. A sigh escapes your lips, and your head tosses back onto the cushy arm of the couch.  Dabi pulls away but inserts two fingers inside of you in place of his mouth.

"Fuck, sweetheart, as much as I want to hear you beg and plead for me,  I want to taste you right now."  Dabi lets out with a rough voice filled with desire.  You whimper as he continues to fuck you with his fingers.  He smirks at your blissed-out face and then returns his mouth to your pussy.  His tongue flicks over your clit repeatedly as whines and cries continue to be let out of your mouth.  Back arching, you bite at your lip, barely able to even process the words that came out of Dabi just a moment ago.

"Oh, fuck, Dabi, please. Please, I'm gonna cum soon." The words fall from your lips, and your mind feels numb to everything except the feeling of Dabi's tongue on your pussy.

Dabi grunts and gives another hard suck to your clit before pulling away just a bit.  "Hell yeah, babe, come all over my face."

Your eyes roll back, and your mouth opens with another cry as your legs begin to tremble as the tension starts to rise in your stomach. One more lick, and you know you'd come. Dabi's continued suckling of your clit sends you careening over the edge. Your cries fill the room, and your back arches as your legs try to squeeze around his head.  Dabi continues to suck and lick as you orgasm.  Panting and with your eyes twisted shut, you cling to his shirt as you start to come down.  A final curse gently leaves your mouth as you wait for your legs to stop shaking.  Dabi takes one last long slow lick before sitting back and wiping his face with the back of his hand.  You can't bring yourself to move from the couch, still panting and weak.

Your mind starts slowly coming back to you as the bliss begins to leave.  The realization of everything happening in the world washes over you.  But you were thankful Dabi took the time to distract you from the horrors of what's going on.  You move over so Dabi can cuddle with you on the couch.  It isn't much room, but it feels good to be this close with him, wrapped in each other's arms.  You both slowly start to drift off to sleep, but you don't miss Dabi's final words mumbled into your hair, "I'll never let anything happen to you."

Shortly after that, the world seems to descend into madness.  The illness grows more and more rampant.  People are getting infected every day.  Whether it's through the original source of contamination or by those contaminated biting or scratching someone.  Panic spreads throughout the country.  But through all of it, you and Dabi stick together.

From the moment it was declared an emergency Dabi was banging at your door, insisting the two of you find somewhere safer than your run-down apartment.  Because while the two of you needed sleep, whatever these things are could go non-stop, and your apartment was not fortified.

You and Dabi lost your quirks a month after the emergency declaration, along with the rest of the population. People couldn't fight these zombie-like creatures off anymore.  Like all the movies and TV shows, the bodies became more zombies than actual living people.

After a while of jumping around from a destroyed place to another, the two of you found yourself in an apartment building that had a sturdy enough entrance that the zombies couldn't break through.  The daily struggles were still hard, though. Finding food and water to survive became a daily task for the two of you.  Through all of this, he never left your side. He always insisted the two of you stay together.  And so you did.  Fighting the living dead, but sometimes the living too when things got even more terrible, and scavenging was your everyday routine now.

You lost track of time and could only follow when the seasons changed.  But Dabi was really the only thing getting you through this.  Seeing people destroy one another for food or shelter destroyed you inside.  Never knowing if these zombies you were killing were someone you had known at one point, or just another faceless dead person tore at every corner of your brain.  Dabi stayed strong for the two of you.  Holding you every night on the ripped blankets, you could gather for the strange bed the two of you slept in.  You would sob into his muscled chest about how you couldn't live in this world anymore, how you couldn't kill another person, alive or dead.

But Dabi would never let go.  He would hold you close and let your never-ending tears stain the only shirt he had now.  He would rub your back with his warm hands; even though his rusting staples would catch on your shirt and rip from his skin, he still did it.  He would hold you until you fell asleep, whispering how strong you were and how he could never do this without you.  And after all the tears, you were thankful too.  Because without him, you'd be dead or alone.  You knew that without Dabi, you would have never survived this long.

But you could see Dabi was hurting too.  You couldn't find supplies to treat his decaying skin.  He hid his daily pain from you, but when Dabi thought you weren't looking or listening, he would hiss at the pain of another staple pulling at his burnt skin or let out a huge sigh when he would try to put it back together, but it wouldn't cooperate.

The only hope the two of you held onto was each other and that possibly a cure would come soon.  Not that either you could really access that information with no electricity; there wasn't any way to get information other than hearsay.  You survived the best you could in this world.

And as much as this wasn't what you would have picked for either of you, at least you had each other.  You tried not to think of a time when you wouldn't be together, even though the chances of that happening were high- it hurt too much. To survive in this world without Dabi would be too fucking much.

It's almost as if fate chose to play a cruel game with the two of you.  It seemed like a "normal" trip out to scavenge for food and water.  The two of you had to expand your search area since places closer were mainly empty.

This time you found yourself outside of a convenience store, a reasonable distance away from your home.  It hadn't been completely destroyed by some miracle and was not overrun by the zombified people.  Still, in a state of decay, though, Dabi was quickly able to kick his heavy boots through the door and get the two of you in.

Sauntering through the gas station, you quickly begin to pick up canned food and stale bags of chips and shove them in your worn backpack.  Dabi is doing the same on other aisles until he lets out a chuckle.  "Hey babe, look what I found."  He says with a cocky voice holding up a few boxes of wrapped condoms above the aisle for you to see.

You roll your eyes.  "Thanks, Dabi. Is sex really what we want to be thinking about right now? Let's just get this shit and get out."  You let out with an annoyed huff and continue to push the limits of how much your bag can hold.

Dabi comes over to your aisle and snakes his arms around your waist with your back pressed to his chest.  He places his chin on your shoulder and whispers in your ear.  "Yes, all I can think about is getting your beautiful body back home and finally being able to finish in you, and with these, I can."  He lets out a dark chuckle as he pulls you closer against him and bucks  his hips playfully.

"Okay, horn dog, let's get this shit done, and then we can do whatever you want back home."  You let out with an eye roll.  It's hard to stay mad at him. You know he's trying to keep things light for you, to keep you happy because he can see how hard this is.  And his regular teasing is one way he knows will bring a smile to your face.

As you are finishing up trying to take inventory of anything else in the store that you can take back, you spot the clear plastic that holds the cartons of cigarettes behind the cashier counter.  While you didn't necessarily want Dabi smoking, you knew he missed the vice. Cigarettes were just as hard to find as medicine in this new world.  Smiling to yourself, you move behind the counter and reach for the plastic flap to lift it up.

As you try to lift the latch, it doesn't budge. You look around for what might be blocking it before seeing the tiny silver keyhole to one side of the compartment.  Crap, of course, it's locked.    You really wanted to surprise Dabi with this.  Maybe you still could. The key had to be here somewhere, right? You think while scanning around the counter.  You try searching through the counters for a hidden key but no luck.  Letting out a heavy sigh, you call Dabi over.

Dabi wanders over to your annoyed face and can't help but smile at your slight pout.  "I wanted to surprise you! But I can't open it. Can you get it, please?"  It comes out almost like a whine as you gesture to the cigarettes.

Dabi's smirk turns into a genuine smile, and he pats the top of your head before saying, "My sweet doll.  Thank you for thinking of me. Let me help you out."  You could smack him, but instead, you watch as he hastily rips the plastic covering away and slips his hand below it to grab one of the wrapped cartons.

At that moment, everything changes.  The fun times the two of you were having shatters as a loud alarm rings through the store.  Panic floods your system as you stare at Dabi wide-eyed.  "There is no electricity. What's happening? There shouldn't be an alarm."  Horror is laced in your voice as words spill out of you.  Every walking corpse within miles will be here soon with the sound.

"Fuck, must have had a battery attachment. Come on, let's go."  Dabi's usual playfulness is gone as he abandons the cigarettes and grabs your hand.  He's grave now.  Getting the two of you out of here safely is his only goal.

You follow Dabi quickly, a hand grasped tightly in his as he runs towards the broken-down front door.   And that's when even more terror settles into you.  Zombies are pushing their way through the open door.  Their rotting bodies and white eyes focused on the area where the alarm is coming from.  There weren't many around when you broke in, but now it seems like they are multiplying by the moment.

"Fuck fuck fuck." Dabi curses under his breath, quickly turning around and pulling you towards the building's back exit.  You follow behind adrenaline surging through your veins fueled by your flight response.  Dabi grasps at the metal handle to the back door and shakes it only to find it locked.  "Damnit!"  he shouts before kicking the door violently.

Your heart is pounding, and you feel helpless as you stare at Dabi while he continues to slam himself at the door.  While the front door was glass and flimsier, this door was only budging slightly.  With all your focus on the door, you don't notice the continuously growing herd filtering into the gas station.  Not until you feel one brush against your shoulder.

Your eyes widen as you feel a scream bubbling in your throat.  This is it.   This is where the two of you die and either become fodder for a herd of living dead or turn into one yourself.   Your brain is pure panic as thoughts fly through faster than you can catch them.  You don't even realize you have screamed out Dabi's name until you see his face turn towards yours.

His typically blue eyes are almost entirely covered by his dark pupils as he takes in the monstrosities behind you.  But unlike you, he doesn't hesitate. He pulls out a knife he keeps in one of his pockets and slams it into the decaying skull of the zombie that is right behind you.  Splurts of dark blood hit your cheek as he pulls out the knife, and the creature behind you crumples to the floor.

"Keep trying the door! I'll keep them off you."  Dabi shouts, pulling you into the spot he previously stood.  Your heartbeat is so loud you can feel it in your head, and you can't even make a coherent response as you begin to slam your body against the solid surface.  You can feel it give a little more with each push of your body, and everything in you is screaming not to give up.  Doing your best not to glance at Dabi's grunting and movements as he continues to try and put down zombie after zombie.

You can't give up; this can't be the end . Desperately your brain is screaming as you continue to feel the door give more and more.  Your shoulder hurts from the continued impact, but you aren't letting it slow you down.  You can feel it; it's almost there.

Suddenly the door gives, and you can see the sun shining through on the other side.  You cry out in  relief and turn back to tell Dabi to come with you.  But as your eyes meet, fear fills every ounce of you.

He's still fighting them off, but there is a gaping bite wound on his right arm— rows of teeth marks embedded in his skin.  You feel like you're going to be sick. There is no coming back from this; there's no known cure.  At any point within the next twenty-four hours, he would be another one of the walking dead, no sense, no logic, and looking to consume others. This can't be happening, this can't be happening.  Your heart is sinking with every second that ticks by.

"What the fuck are you waiting for? Get out! Get out!"  Dabi screams at you as he embeds his knife in another zombie.

"No, no, I can't leave without you!  I-we can find something.  I'll find something, please! Come on, Dabi, I can't do this without you!"  You are sobbing now, hot tears streaming through the dirt and blood mixed on your face.  An ache in your heart starts to form.  You know you don't know how to help him, but you'll do anything to not leave him behind.

Dabi lets out a grin despite the feral dead people closing in on him.  And gives you a wink before saying in a voice that seems too calm for the situation, "Come on, doll, you are the most intelligent person I know.  You have to go.  Live for us, babe.  Look at how far we've come.  Go show this world that it won't ever break you down. I love you, and I'll come to find you wherever you are in the afterlife and annoy the shit out of you.  Now go!"

It's like your heart is being ripped into a thousand pieces. Your breath comes out in short huffs, moving towards hyperventilating.  You want to go back to Dabi and cling on for dear life, but you won't let him die in vain.  Not after that speech.  That would be an insult to everything the two of you have overcome.  So with all your strength, you give your lover, the man who has come so far with you, the last look before letting out a final "I love you too" and burst out the door.

You don't look back, aching feet propelling you forward as tears continue to stream and fall off your face.  When you first met Dabi, you would have never thought you'd miss him.  But you will , you'll miss every snarky comment, every flirty glance, and the tender way only he has loved you.  The man that you were sure was just some asshole trying to get laid became the love of your life and sacrificed himself so you could live.  And you could never let that go to waste.

[clarythericebot]

devi, ben, & the journey towards self acceptance

this post has 2 arguments.

#1: devi’s relationship with ben demonstrates her journey towards self-acceptance.

#2: devi and ben’s relationship develop when they engage with each other as others (as other people with wants and hurts and needs) instead of vicious mirrors of themselves.

The show clearly establishes that Devi and Ben are very, very similar to each other. They’re both nerds. They’re ruthlessly competitive. They’re socially awkward. They care about social status.

They’re both smart people! They probably know this about themselves.

The interesting thing here is that they hate each other. (I’d actually argue that the hatred is more on Devi’s part than Ben’s; by the time the series starts, it feels more like he’s dealing with a crush buried as deep in his subconscious as Samberg’s Emmy; one which comes out in cruel and immature ways, but still lacks the rancor of Devi’s I wish you were killed by Nazis). And if that’s the case, it’s not much of a leap at all to say that Devi doesn’t like herself very much.

This brings me to a part of argument #2, which is that Devi doesn’t really engage with Ben as another person at all (in the earlier part of the series) but rather more as an extension of herself—either as a static, two-dimensional antagonist in the story she tells in her head (which I think is how he comes across in the first few episodes since we are in her head) or an unflattering mirror that she loathes to look at, reminding her about everything about herself that she despises.

For me, what cinches this interpretation is the MUN episode. It doesn’t register to her that MUN is important to him—she goes on the trip to buy some freedom, and his presence, at least at first, is an annoyance. Later, when she is angry at herself – at her own actions, at what she has done – she channels all her anger and takes it out on him.

No one else in this series gets this particular type of cruelty from her. Devi becomes self-centered and prioritizes herself over her friends; they are collateral damage. Devi pushes her therapist away when she thinks she is going to abandon her. Devi snaps at her mother for terrible things her mother had said (disproportionately, but the inciting incident is still something that her mother said to hurt her).

But Devi hurts Ben when she wants to hurt herself.

However, it doesn’t stay this way. The shift occurs not when Devi finally has a breakthrough with herself but when she realizes something about him.

I think episode 1x06 (“Never Have I Ever Been the Loneliest Boy in the World”) is brilliant and beautiful for many reasons, but a huge one is that we literally get out of Devi’s head. We engage more in the worlds that she isn’t really a part of, the other. The wonderful thing is that by the end of the episode, she gets to do the same.

NALINI: Benjamin, I hear you were on that last-minute Model UN trip to Davis.

BEN: Oh, it wasn't so last-minute for everyone. Some of us spent months preparing for that trip. But Devi came in with no preparation and still became the talk of the weekend.

NALINI: Oh. Really? Why was that?

In this scene, Ben has the perfect opportunity to do what Devi had done—to do what Devi would in his place. He could’ve gotten his revenge on her by spilling to her mom what she’d done in the MUN conference. He recognizes that opportunity. If there had ever been a perfect time to nuke Devi back, this was it.

He chooses not to do it.

BEN: Nothing bad. She just brought a lot of passion to her role as Equatorial Guinea.

Ben stands down. Why? Well—because he is Ben and not Devi. It’s in this episode that we see, for longer and a little more concretely, what the show is hinting at since the beginning: that beneath his high school immaturity and ego, Ben is genuinely kind.

Devi catches a glimpse of that at the dinner table and again when he chooses to be honest and vulnerable with her—choices that she’s only ever made kicking and screaming in the principal’s office.

The essential thing here to note is that Devi has been utterly self-absorbed since the beginning of the season. She hasn’t engaged with anyone’s life but her own, even her best friends’—her shit is bigger than theirs, after all. She’s caved in herself and her own selfish narrative (which is incidentally CS Lewis’ definition of hell).

The unexpected vulnerability, however, is enough to hammer at least a small crack in the cave she’s holed herself away in. In seeing the person that Ben is, in engaging with an “other”, she finally manages to take the first few tentative steps in helping herself—admitting her own mistakes.

Their relationship changes from there on out. Devi’s caustic rancor towards Ben vanishes and she becomes friendlier with him. And Ben, well, he attempts to drunkenly kiss her at his party.

In spite of that hiccup, Devi knows that she can count on him for help when she needs it. She trusts him to say yes when she asks to move in with him and to get her to Malibu on time.

Devi isn’t finished with her character development. Her self-acceptance issues haven’t been completely addressed – it’s now been underlined that a lot of it comes from her mom’s treatment of her as well – but she’s learned, I think, to take a few hesitant steps outside of her own bubble. At the season finale, the person Devi falls a little bit in love with isn’t a terrible mirror version of herself, but Ben Gross—relentlessly challenging and ultimately kind.

[roswellnmsource]

Lily Cowles Talks Stunt Work on Roswell, New Mexico & the Action-Packed Final Episodes This Season

So, finding out that there's been another alien Roswell really threw the audience for a loop. What were you thinking when you heard that there would be another alien in town?

I mean, I was like, finally. I'm ready for a little new alien blood in the mix, like let's stir it up. We've had our little pod squad, and we have this super tight little dynamic, and it's been pretty insular. They've had to keep everything to themselves, and so I think finding out that there's another person that's like them, another alien. How exciting.

What are the implications? This might change everything. I was really excited about it. I'm like, let's go, plus he's super cute, so.

That's very true. Can you preview what's next for Isobel and everyone as they process this new development?

Yeah, well, I think Isobel is...I think her initial reaction she's excited to bring someone new into the fold. And it's a little more complicated than that. We have a conversation you see with Isobel and Kyle, where he sort of is like, you might want to take this a little slow because this is a man of God.

This is a man whose vocation is faith-based. And to tell him that he's an alien might kind of complicate his life.

So, how much do you really want to ruin someone's life by telling them that they're an alien or change it for the better but I think Isobel is looking forward to kind of bringing someone newer to the fold and wants to share everything and learn from him.

And she's pretty enthusiastic about it. And it's going to have to learn how to handle that with grace and tack, which I think can sometimes be difficult for her. I know she can sometimes be quite straightforward with things.

Beyond that, Isobel is going on a date in this episode, which is so exciting for her. And I think she's going to be faced with having to break down some of the walls that she's built up that she's been working on. So, I'm kind of like personal internal conflict, but also a lot of opportunity.

And I think our writers handle it all so well, and it's going to unfold in a very fun way.

Sure. So, family is very important to not only the fabric of Roswell but to Isobel in particular. Can you tell us a bit about what family means to Isobel?

Yeah. I mean, I think Isobel has always had to lean so much on her brothers. There may have been the small amount of codependency. You might say with the trio because they have this enormous secret, they can't share with anybody else.

I mean, me personally, I have so many friends. I like to go around and talk about all my problems and everything with all my friends, but Isobel doesn't have as many people, or she didn't up until recently that she could talk about these things with, so her family was sort of everything for her.

These two people who understood who she was and saw her for who she truly was.

For the rest of the world, she had to, for many years of her life, kind of wear this mask and do a kind of performance of something that was sort of half-truth. Now, her circle has expanded a bit over the seasons of Roswell, which has been great—adding friends like Maria and Rosa and Kyle, Alex, and of course, Liz.

We've gotten all this new group of people that can support her. But I think the first 25 years of her life were basically just her and her brothers. And so, that loyalty goes really deep, and I think it will always be the trump card for her. I think it will always take precedent over everything else, which can be good, and it can be bad.

Yeah. And that kind of leads me into my next question, which is that Isobel has some of the best dynamics on the show. From Isobel and Michael and their brother, sister bond. And obviously Isobel and Max and this new bond now with Maria. What's your favorite Isobel dynamic?

It's hard to pick one because I love them all so much. I love working with Amber. I love the Isobel and Rosa dynamic so much because it's...there's so many layers in there. There's definitely the 'Oops. I'm sorry that I murdered you with your friends'.

But then also, Isobel kind of guiding her in Rosa's journey learning about her powers, and I think Isobel really took her under her wing. And I think that means a lot to Isobel to be able to be a guide for someone and somebody's mentor. But as time has gone on, the tables have also been turning.

There are lots of times when Rosa has been a mentor to Isobel.

And I love the female dynamics, that is... it's so rich. There's so much in there. Two women who are learning from each other and growing and supportive of each other, and challenging each other to be better. And it comes from this really complicated history that they were able to overcome.

So, to me, that sort of female dynamic is just like, oh, I love to see that.

I love Isobel and Kyle together too. It's really fun. Isobel knows how to shoot. She comes in just with so much energy. And I think there's something that happens. There's some kind of chemistry there, right? There's something, and it all maybe started at Planet Seven.

But, I think Kyle is someone that Isobel really trusts and leans on, and he's like this solid foundation for her, like a real confidant. But then there's more to it than that.

And there's something that's just, it's hard to put your finger on with them, but whenever I'm working with Michael Trevino, the scenes just...we find these little places that things just kind of pop and these unexpected moments come up and it feels like a really complex dynamic.

And I'm excited to see where that goes.

For sure. I got to talk to Michael, and he said very similarly that you guys had a really great dynamic, and he'd like to see more Kyle and Isobel scenes.

You know, give the world what they want! How bout it, Roswell!

Yes! So, Isobel has gone on quite the journey throughout the course of Roswell, and throughout season three as well, we've seen as she's dealt with Jones. So, can you speak to Isobel's resilience and how we will continue to see her growth?

Yeah, absolutely. Playing Isobel has been such an honor because it's a story that I think is so powerful for so many women. She began as this kind of Barbie doll. She was very performative, had this perfect little mask on. She was kind of closed off to the world but had this way of acting that seemed right.

And I think that's the dynamic that a lot of women can relate to.

It's like wanting to come off as being sort of perfect and having this veneer that seems like everything is good, but you're really disconnected from this deep, authentic truth that might be a lot more complicated and maybe messier, but you know what Isobel had to go through in Season One with Noah, it just rips that all off.

I mean, it wasn't by choice.

It happened to her. She was definitely victimized by the thing, and she had basically no other choice but to grow and adapt. And it gave her an enormous amount of freedom. And so often, suffering is terrible, you wouldn't wish it on anyone, and yet it can also lead to enormous amounts of growth.

And that's what I got to see with Isobel that she had to pick herself back up and connect with those deep parts of herself that she'd kind of been denying her whole life. And become strong. You have to find that strength within herself and not just leaning on the men around her.

She didn't have any female friends, and she was pretty co-dependent with all the men in her life. And Season Two, we saw Isobel discovering herself on her own terms.

And I think it's such an incredible gift that the writers gave to this show to see a female doing that, to find her way on her own terms and sort of have to relearn everything and say, "Well, who am I? What do I want? And how do I get that?"

And now we're just seeing her continuing down that path, she's becoming this warrior, she's becoming this total badass, and I think there's never like an end to it.

It's not like she started out like this, and now it's like the end of the story, 'Hooray! She found herself, and now she's like a badass warrior.' It's in Season Three, I think we're seeing her struggling with what does it mean to be a warrior? What does it mean to try to be a strong female?

How much are we suddenly becoming too self-protective when we begin to build this armor where we're making sure that no one's going to hurt us again? Well, is that armor preventing us from also being vulnerable with other people?

And I think the writers have been so gracious to give this arc to a female character that's been so multifaceted.

So, I'm just so grateful. I can't wait to see where Isobel goes, and she just keeps evolving and changing and shedding her skin and becoming something new, and like I said, it's never like a destination; it's all about the journey. So that's been really fun as an actor to be able to play with.

I have to ask about the stunts in episode eight because the scenes between you and Nathan were fantastic. How was it to shoot those scenes?

Oh my God, it was so much fun. Season Two, I had told Carina, our showrunner at the time, girl put me in some action stuff because I had some martial arts background. And after everything that had happened to Isobel, I was like it'd be great for her to become more empowered in her own physical body too.

So that, we started to kind of build the foundation there, and we're seeing it now paying off, all of this training that Isobel is always talking about. We're finally seeing her in action.

In that episode, in 3x08, directed by Benjamin Bray Hernandez, it was so incredible to actually be able to do this stunt work and with Nathan, who's a great, great stunt guy too.

I mean, I swear in another life, he would like to be a stuntman, Nathan. But the two of us actually got to do most of our own stuff.

I mean all of the pool cue, all of the hand to hand. There were a couple of things that a stunt person came in when we did the backflip over the table. We're like, yeah, that's not to break your neck during that. But besides that, everything was us, and it was so much fun to work with a director who was himself a stuntman.

So, he knew how to really direct.

Every strike needs to be telling a story and the way that he filmed it on the actual film, the lens that he was using. All of this stuff was just, it was like a masterclass in stunt work. So much fun, I was so sore, and while I thought that we were using pool cues, I was like, "I'm sorry, I have never used a pool cue in a fight."

And of course we got on the set, and Nathan from Texas, is there whipping it all around in his hand, spinning the pool cue, homie has been in like 15 pool bar fights, and I'm like, "How do you hold it?"

But I think we're a pretty good match-up, and there's more to come between Nathan and I. I'm so grateful. He's an incredible partner to work with. I feel so safe with him. I did one time jab him with the butt of my pool cue pretty hard in the groin.

So, sorry for that, Nathan. But besides that, it was such a fun experience, and I'd love to do more of that.

That's amazing. Outside of Isobel's storyline this season, has there been another story that you've really enjoyed that's played out in Season Three?

I mean, all of it is so compelling.

I've loved seeing, in this last episode, we saw Alex taking on so many of the demons that I think this beautiful parallel storyline of Alex and Michael, both working through the traumas of their parents, what they've inherited from their parents. Michael learning that he is the son of this evil dictator, but his mother is maybe this amazing hero.

And Alex working through the trauma of what his father was.

And I think that a compelling, compelling story is what we inherit from our parents and what we choose to move forward with or what we want to rebel against.

Do we become our parents, or are we given the opportunity to change them, fix their mistakes? And Kyle is dealing with this too with his father and the Valenti code and all of that.

So, I love that the lineage, the kind of questioning of how lineage proceeds through us and what our obligation is to the family line, I think that's beautiful.

And last question for me, with the finale on the horizon, what can the audience expect from these last batches of episodes?

Oh my gosh. Stuff gets so crazy, Whitney! It pops off. I mean, filming it was some of the most intense work I've ever done. We were like Marines. We were like Navy seals. We bonded so hard over just the sheer physical, emotional, and psychological difficulty that we all have to go through over these next few episodes.

It's full of action. It is full of suspense. It's going to be such a roller coaster for the audience, and I cannot wait for them to see it. It's going to be a huge payoff. Our writers did an incredible job, and yeah, I think it's just going to knock people's socks off.

[jonsa101]

New Amsterdam Season 3x7: The Groundwork to Heal and Rebuild

Last night’s episode truly blew me away. It’s definitely one of the best episodes in the series. To be honest, I was incredibly anxious about how the show would handle systemic racism in the healthcare system but I think the writers did a beautiful job. I love how they have redirected Max’s story. It truly is a great character shift. Max has gone from the “how can I help” guy who tries to solve everything and usually always succeeds at it, to the guy who fails miserably and in frustration even throws in the towel. It’s so refreshing because the Max we had before this shift was unrealistic. This season is so good because this season feels real and authentic and Max though idealistic, is finally getting a big dose of reality in how he operates. I don’t think the show is ever going to give us season 1 or 2 Max again and that’s a good thing! That means our male lead is finally growing and evolving. It’s character development baby and we love to see it!  I also love where the storyline is going for Helen. I have always had a head canon that Helen has some wild baby sister that would pop into her life to live with her and Helen would look out for her and take her under her wing. The story line with Meena is way better than my head canon and kinda falls in line with what I’ve always imagined. I’m so happy that Helen has a niece and that she’s moving in with her! This is literally the PERFECT ROLE for Helen. There’s nothing better than having a character who struggles with being vulnerable than literally having an unexpected character show up to shake things up and unroot the vulnerabilities/traumas said character has yet to deal with.  

A lot of people couldn’t understand why Helen gave up her relationship with Cassian because of her niece but I completely understand where she’s coming from. Helen is completely out of her depth here. She wanted a baby and had know plans to take in her brother’s child let alone a teenager. This is completely new territory for her and the stress of having to juggle this new role, a new relationship and her already hectic job at New Amsterdam was probably overwhelming. Like most people who have a type A personality, she is doing what she feels like she has to do to get ready. Meena moving in with Helen is purposeful on so many levels and there are three things I’m expecting to see on screen because of it.

First, we are going to see so much more of Helen on a personal level. I fully expect to see Helen’s home life way more frequently as we see her step into this aunt/mother role and raise a teenager. This is not going to be a walk in the park. Helen is going to STRUGGLE. Meena will more than likely push Helen’s buttons to know end and and bring out all the vulnerabilities that she tries so hard to keep down. It will be probably be a bit ugly at first but as Helen and Meena start to bond and find common ground, Helen will FLOURISH. We will see her at her best as she thrives in this aunt/mother role. Second, Meena is absolutely going to peep the feelings that Max and Helen have for each other and she’s going to let her opinions be known. For the most part, teenagers know how to read the room and I’m pretty sure Meena will be know different. As Helen and Meena grow closer and as she possibly interacts with Max as well, I’m pretty confident Meena will say something and play a small part in pushing Max and Helen together. Of course this is just a prediction but usually a third character calls out the obvious “Unresolved Sexual Tension” between love interests and my money is on Meena! Third, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Helen stepped down from deputy medical director to step into this aunt/mother role as Max tries to be a single father to Luna while also trying to fill a mother void in Luna’s life. When we were heading into the season finale and going into season 2, I wrote a meta detailing my thoughts about how I felt about Helen deciding to be Max’s doctor again. I didn’t necessarily agree with the decision because I believed that Helen needed to remain true to the emotional and professional boundaries she was trying to set for herself. I also believed that because it was indicated Max and Helen had feelings for each other, her role needed to shift going forward in their relationship. It took two seasons but Helen’s role has finally shifted! 🙌🏾 She is no longer Max’s doctor or deputy medical director and for once Max no longer has the crutch/excuse of trying to navigate how he feels about her through that lense!!! THIS IS HUGE!!!

Max now has to truly sit there with his feelings and feel the absence of not going to Helen for everything because of the necessity of the roles she once had in his life. He will quickly come to terms with the fact that not only is he in love with her but he’s truly wants and needs her as his LIFE PARTNER! On top of that, Ryan has literally been teasing that Max is looking for not only a partner but a mother/mother role for Luna and he’s trying to figure that out fast (I will literally link the article). Max already knows Helen’s desire to be a mom but he will literally get the chance to see Helen step into that role with Meena! This isn’t by accident and it’s all purposeful. I’ve said this a hundred times and I’ll say it again, the showrunners are setting the groundwork for them to get together this season. Something has shifted. There’s a deep longing and desperation behind Max and I genuinely believe that he is consumed with his feelings for her. Through a bathroom door he was trying to convince Helen to be co-medical director to help battle systemic racism but while he’s trying to convince her, through subtext, he is essentially asking her to be his partner in life! I saw someone mention on Twitter that it was basically a proposal in a joking manner but honestly, that’s exactly what it was. It was a subtext laced proposal! His feelings are so all consuming that he can’t truly stay on the topic at hand!!! I think Max is on the verge of the floodgates bursting wide open and he is going to lay everything out on the table. Also, seeing Max’s behavior last night oddly reminds me a bit of Mr. Darcy in the Pride and Prejudice. Don’t get me wrong, Mr. Darcy and Max don’t have the same mannerisms but the depth of the feelings they have for their love interests and how it manifests feels the same. I’ll get into this more at the conclusion of this meta.

Anyway, when I look at the season in it’s entirety so far, I see the show setting up two people that both have to develop and heal in specific areas so that they can eventually come together by the end of the season. Helen is struggling with vulnerability, feeling like she’s running out of a time with the desires she truly wants in life and now in the most unexpected way is being thrust into aunt/motherhood. Max’s idealism has been completely rocked by the pandemic and now more than ever he’s forced to be more self aware of his actions and needs to evolve from the chronic hero syndrome. He’s also essentially stepping into fatherhood again as he tries to learn and navigate being a single dad and making Luna his first priority. I think for a time Max and Helen will need to face their issues head on by themselves but as they go through their own healing journeys, they’re going to need each other. Also, they’re DEEPLY IN LOVE so even though it seems like they’re drifting a part it’s only going to be temporarily. Eventually, they’ll start “burdening” each other again.

Another important point that I want to bring up is this. In the last meta that I wrote, I mentioned how I believed that Max needs to go above and beyond to try meet Helen’s needs and support her and I genuinely believe that we will see that throughout this season. In last night’s episode, after he poured his heart out and told her that he’s grateful that she’s there with him, Helen resigned as deputy medical director. The old Max would have put up a fight and put his needs before hers because he wants her there with him but despite it being painful, he accepted her resignation. That’s growth! Taking Helen out of the equation as his number two at the hospital is going to make him so much more aware of her needs in her personal life rather than the needs of the hospital. They’re relationship has always been so intertwined with their work at New Amsterdam that Max hasn’t learned to truly prioritize Helen outside of that but this season he’s definitely going to. The absence of Helen in his literal everyday work life with the combination of his overwhelming feelings will eventually lead to a wild pursuit. A pursuit to know her heart, her wants, her needs and most importantly a pursuit to be with her.

My last point is this! I’ve made some pretty bold predictions this season about where I see Max and Helen going. Again, I think something MASSIVE is on the horizon and I honestly still think that by the end of this season Max and Helen might very well be engaged!! I don’t know Fam they’re just giving me this vibe especially Max! Last night solidified to me that he is getting to a place where his feelings are beginning to overwhelm him. This brings me back to Mr. Darcy. I believe Mr. Darcy and Max are at the same emotional level when it comes to how they feel about their significant others. When it was to much to bare for Mr. Darcy not only did he declare his love for Elizabeth but he proposed. He literally went from 0-100. Though Elizabeth rejected his first proposal, he proposed again and the second time around they had both done the work that they needed to in order to understand each other better and realize that they loved each other. I can’t help but think of Darcy saying

“You have bewitched me body and soul and I love I love I love you. And wish from this day forth never to be parted from you.”

Is it just me or is Max acting a little bit like Helen has bewitched him body and soul? He’s all over the place when it comes to her lately and his body language has changed too! Did anyone else peep how closely Max and Helen were sitting next to each other? It was so intimate for a second I thought they were going to kiss or he was going to grab her hands. I don’t know it just screamed desire to me. Also, this ongoing theme were he tells her that he “can’t do this without her” or he’s grateful that “she’s here with him” to me is in the same light of Darcy telling Elizabeth that he never wants to be parted from her. From season two onwards Max has openly expressed wanting/needing Helen by his side. Now that we are in season 3, it seems like Max need for this has only gotten deeper. I make this comparison to say that the underlying vibe of how we are seeing Max and Helen unfold this season to me points to something incredibly tangible happening between them at season end.

The thing about Max and Helen is that yes, they are a slow burn but at the same time they’re also a 0-100 type of couple. I want to write another meta to explain this in detail but what I’ll say here is that if circumstances were different in season 1 and Max wasn’t married, Max and Helen would have probably been the type of couple who got married within a couple of months of knowing each other. Also, from my perspective, once Max and Helen finally let each other know how they really feel, it’s not going to be a thing where they’re just dating like with Cassian or Panthaki. It’s going to be like it’s a wrap, I’m all in, you are my person, this is it for me type thing. It’s going to be commitment! I feel like people forget but this show started in 2018. In September it will be four years since the show premiered. Granted COVID happened in 2020, but essentially Max and Helen have been doing this tango for awhile now. The expectation should be that we are finally going to see things come into fruition in a major way this season because that’s 1000% what I believe. Everything in my gut is telling me that the time is now and they are setting them up to do groundwork to heal so that they can rebuild together. A new chapter for them is on the horizon and I’m so excited about it!

[sunmoontruth-stiles]

Ok this is gonna be long. I’ve literally been slowly working on this for… too long. I’m just in a mood to have a long discussion about ships. I’ll be looking at canon and not, so bare with me. I don’t ship all of these personally. I’m mostly just picking the most popular ones. I chose to leave out a few that I just don’t want to talk about. I tried to keep this loosely chronological, but that quickly went to hell. None of this is meant to be hate towards anyone’s ship, just my personal opinions on each of them.

Canon:

Scott x Allison: True Classic

Scallison is so sweet as it is truly the epitome of young love. Romeo and Juliet, except Romeo is even more of an idiot and Juliet is a badass who dies for a cause. They’re moral and ethical codes are both highly valued by themselves, even if they don’t align with others very often. They loved with everything they had. They were beautiful. We’re they soulmates in the end, or just the first love who will always hold a special place in your heart? Who knows, but I’ll always love these immature kids who thought their love could change everything.

Stiles x Lydia: The Long Awaited

Stydia is as slow burn as you can get. Unfortunately their actual getting together was slightly rushed in my opinion. They didn’t have time to find their own as a couple because Stiles just wasn’t in the show enough at that point. I know the reasons behind it, but it did leave this couple at an awkward stage of official-but-not-shown. The idea that Stiles loved her as a kid, immature and infatuated, and he saw her for who she really was, will always be cute. Then they grew, changed, became friends, and found other people. Them finding each other later on, having real love that’s developed slowly, is a wonderful arc. Though, a part of me will always believe they should have pursued other story lines in the wake of Stiles’ absence from the plot. They’re finally together! …but we don’t get to see it.

Jackson x Lydia: The Image

Oh Jackson and Lydia. Honestly, I love them. Their connection at a time in their lives when they couldn’t open up to anyone else, just hits me right in the feels. I mean, god that HUG. You know the one. Always brings me to tears. I’m so sad their relationship was almost entirely depicted during Jackson’s kanima time when he couldn’t think nor truly act for himself. Those small moments of scared vulnerability when he wanted to protect her from himself… I’ll miss these two. They deserved to find other people and remain life-long friends. I loved their moment in the last episode. I wish they’d gotten to see each other grow. Also they had such bixbi solidarity vibes, and I’ll die on that hill.

Scott x Lydia: Leaders

Ok, I’m gonna be honest here. I ship it. The power couple they would have been?? Also them coming together after they lost Allison would have actually made sense. A part of me kinda wishes the writers had moved on from Stydia as a romantic relationship and leaned into them growing as friends and Stiles moving on from his childhood crush. Scott and Lydia actually would have had good chemistry. They were both very headstrong heroic types, but Lydia would have balanced Scott out well intellectually. They had the history, and I think it could had worked if they wrote it right. Plus, Scott and Lydia would have been a better endgame that Scalia.

Scott x Kira: New Beginnings

These two were adorable. Kira was a badass, don’t get me wrong, but she let herself be soft in a way Allison was always afraid to. This couple was truly Baby. Absolute dorks. I can definitely see the lasting quality between the two of them. They saw things very similarly, and had a ton in common. I do think Kira deserves more characterization outside of their relationship, like more of her friendship with Malia. Overall, her departure from the show will always be sad to me. It was bad writing. Scott was over her far too quickly.

Aiden x Lydia: Pretty People Herd

I honestly didn’t see much between these two other than mutual attraction. The best thing to come out of this relationship was Lydia’s line, “You’re not just a bad boy, Aiden. You’re a bad guy. And I don’t want to be with the bad guys.” Good character development moment.

Ethan x Danny: Step to Redemption

Danny really was the thing that made Ethan look outside of the pack for what he really wanted out of life. They had a few cute scenes. Gotta love Danny’s final remarks, “Dude, it’s Beacon Hills.”

Allison x Isaac: Unexpected Rebound

Ok, I like these two. Isaac could match Allison’s snark in a way Scott couldn’t. They both fought the progression of the relationship slightly. They didn’t expect to fall for each other. They were less willing to let someone in close. I’d love to have seen more… but unfortunately their time was limited. On a side note, sometimes their relationship did feel like ‘we both are in love with the same guy, let’s cope with each other’, but I find that completely valid. I’ll talk about Scallisaac later though.

Stiles x Malia: Anchors

Ok but, them <3 I love what they did for each other. Stiles was able to help Malia connect to her humanity and other people. He never tried to isolate her in their relationship and encouraged her growth. Malia offered Stiles the emotional support he never asked for. She defended him, fought for him, and loved him fiercely. Stiles needed that so much after season 3. I think they were a love that wasn’t meant to last, but the impact of it was forever. I wish we’d gotten to see a real end for them where they agreed that they needed to grow as individuals but would always still care.

Liam x Hayden: Three’s a Pattern

These two’s characterization stopped whenever they had storylines together. Their relationship was built on Scallison references. Hayden’s character could have been interesting, but they never really gave her a moment to shine. Liam has the worst plots when they revolved around her. Cute couple, poor writing.

Derek x Braeden: Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girl Boss

Derek deserves to be happy so much. Kate and Jennifer were just... jeez. Him and Braeden were cute and deserved more screen time. I think her intensity allowed for Derek to let go of control a bit more comfortably. Let Derek Be Soft. Anyway, love them.

Corey x Mason: Gotta Have That Rep TM

These two could have been cute if they were shown for more than two seconds at a time. I highkey forget Corey even existed all the time. Kinda just felt like a relationship to fill TW’s gay quota.

Jackson x Ethan: The Callback

Honestly? Loved them. Loved the chemistry. Loved the dynamic. Best twist. I know it was probably written in like that because Colton came out during his time away from the show, but it absolutely fit his character. Jethan is top tier.

Melissa x Chris: BAMF Parent Duo

Ok, so like, Melissa deserved this plot. She deserved someone to care about her. However... what the hell? Chris? In canon, his wife died like 2-ish years prior? His daughter died 1 year prior?? Is Chris really in a position to pursue a new relationship?? Also, like, Scott and Allison dated and loved each other up to her death. Kinda weird to have their parents hook up. I don’t hate it, but I don’t ship it…?

Scott x Malia: Lead up? What’s lead up?

These two came out of nowhere I stg. Like, 6B really tried to tell us this was something that had been slowly developing in the background? Also, I understand that they are their own people, adults, and completely in charge of their own romantic pursuits: but did Scott seriously never call Stiles? Like, Malia wasn’t just his first girlfriend. She was his first. Like, dude that’s your best friend?? Not even a head’s up? No, ‘hey would this bother you?’ Oof. Plus Malia was way too chaotic for Scott. She existed in gray morality that always prioritized her immediate circle, and Scott was a very black/white type of heroism. I just didn’t feel like they fit.

Non-Canon:

Scott x Stiles: Childhood Best Friends

Ya, sorry, I don’t ship Sciles at all. I get it. Like, I totally understand the ship, and I mean no judgment at all. I just see them as friends. I really value good male friendships in media because I feel like we don’t get enough, and I always liked these two.

Stiles x Derek: Enemies to Lovers. 100k. Angst. Hurt/Comfort.

God these two really are what fanfiction was made for. I could write a much longer discussion about Sterek, and I probably will eventually. I’ll try to keep this brief. These two weren’t always on the same side, but their approach was the same. They were very similar at their core. Plus, wow the chemistry. This should have been canon. Jeff’s a coward.

Allison x Lydia: Powerful.

This ship is so great. They really had a great dynamic, and a romantic plot would have easily fit the established narrative. Lydia’s confidence in herself and Allison’s confidence in her own abilities crossing over to each other because that’s what the other lacked? Iconic.

Danny x Jackson: He Gets Him

Danny really saw Jackson for everything he was and still cared. I wished we’d gotten to see more of them. I  want more background with Jackson’s eventual coming out and his friendship with Danny. Like, they ended up dating the same guy. What did Ethan have to say about that??

Stiles x Jackson: Bastards

Ok these two had a super fun dynamic. The asshole-energy between them was, great. The snark was always so entertaining.

Melissa x Noah: Family

How were these two not endgame? Their sons were practically brothers already. They had amazing chemistry. The flirting? Not to mention, their timeline would have made way more sense. Missed opportunity.

Chris x Peter: The Opposite of Love is Indifference, Not Hate

Ok so like, this was definitely one of those ships that I had absolutely no knowledge of before I was pretty into the fandom. Like, this was not something I would have guessed just after watching the show. That being said; my god the chaos alone…

Scott x Isaac: The Disaster Duo

Okay ya I love these two. Two dumb asses who act like idiot puppies. Such a fun dynamic. Plus?? Chemistry??? Hellooo

Scott x Allison x Isaac: Three Heads Are Better Than One

This ship is definitely one of my personal favorites. I very rarely poly-ship. I just feel like most of them are just love triangles with an ‘easy solution’, when two of them have no real connection. That is so not the case here. I feel like all of them have such great chemistry with each other. They also have a great dynamic as a group. Season 3A was really just Scallisaac rights.

Stiles x Isaac: I Hate You, jk…Not Really

Ok I loved their banter, but I really just don’t see this ship. Idk, I don’t personally ship it. Would have loved to see their friendship develop more tho.

Erica x Allison: Duo that would stab you with a stiletto

I don’t ship it, but I do wish we’d seen them become friends. I feel like they had a very artificial ‘girls fighting over a boy’ dynamic? They could have been such a badass duo.

Stiles x Erica: Batman x Catwoman

Ok I’m not sure exactly how to express my feelings for these two so bare with me. OMG I love their dynamic so much, and they are sooo cute. Their energy? Amazing. Chemistry? Great. History? It’s there and has so much potential. 10/10. Love them. But, no, I don’t ship it lol. Just really love their friendship, but with the underlying history of crushes.

Boyd x Erica: Was This Not Canon?

How can anyone not love Berica? Ugh they are adorable. These two deserved so much better.

Boyd x Cora: Survivors

Honestly I don’t really see it? Like they definitely had a connection, but it never felt romantic. I really feel like they just had to lean on each other and bond to make it through captivity, and it just lasted.

Boyd x Erica x Cora: The Pack

I literally learned this was a ship a couple days ago. Similar feelings towards this as Bora, but with the added hesitancy of we never actually saw Erica and Cora interact.

Cora x Stiles: Slow Build Up

These two were clearing being lined up to be a thing before Cora ended up leaving. I can’t say I’m disappointed they never happened. Kinda felt like they just wanted to straight-code Sterek.

Cora x Lydia: Mean Lesbians

Not much interaction to actually go off of, but yes I 100% support. They have very different approaches to problems, which is fun. Very ‘opposites attract’.

Malia x Kira: “Maybe you could date the coyote?”

Another one of my favorites!! They really complimented each other. Also, how full circle would they have been? They were introduced in back-to-back episodes. Malia stalking her as a coyote? The line from Kira’s dad about dating it? It would have been so funny if that ended up happening.

Malia x Lydia: Beauty and the Beast, but make it wlw

These two were fun. I liked their friendship, but I don’t really ship it. Though, rip Stiles that would have been hilarious.

Parrish x Lydia: The Cop and The Minor

Must I say more? Like, Parrish’s character, so sweet and big rule follower, did not make sense for what went down with Lydia. I love Parrish, but the dynamic just felt off. It didn’t feel consistent with the rest of his characterization.

Parrish x Stiles: The Cop and The Minor, but gay?

Ok, same reasoning as above, but also they had absolutely no connection romantically.

Scott x Theo / Stiles x Theo: Sometimes The Villain is Hot

Ok I’ve put these together because I have the same opinion for both. I don’t ship it. Neither had any rebuilding of trust, and Theo really hurt both of them. I just don’t really think they work.

Mason x Liam: Sciles Puppy Pack Edition

Similar to my feeling about Sciles, I just don’t ship these two. They had a good friendship, from the little we saw of it.

Theo x Liam: Anchors 2: Electric Boogaloo

Another personal favorite! I really don’t even understand why this didn’t go canon?? The elevator scene was just, so intense. They helped each other grow in 6B, and I really loved their dynamic. They should have hooked up.

Honorable Mention?: 

Parrish x Laura: What’s canon?

I’ve seen this in fanfic a lot, and I actually really like it lol. I thought I’d add it in here because I do love the creativity of fandoms.

[tiifalockhart]

First Love

Pairing: Tseng x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of death, fighting, stalking, alludes to depression and moral consequences

Word Count: 2k

A/N: hi friends, I’m posting two things this fine morning in preparation for my disappearance this weekend. I figured I would write something about Tseng since he’s become my comfort character lately. I hope you enjoy!! feedback is always appreciated

Ao3 || Masterlist

From the moment the two of you first met, you couldn't really help but find how insanely attractive Tseng is. His eyes, his nose, his lips, his structure, his hair, the way he carries himself? You felt you could pass out on the spot from the way he looked at you.

The first time you two met, it was mostly a simple mistake. He didn't mean to become distracted by you in the Sector 5 slums. Tseng accidentally bumped into you while following Aerith. He had been quite a distance away from her, so she hadn't noticed and managed to disappear from his sight. Giving up on it, he turned towards you, readying himself to apologize before realizing you had disappeared. He looked around in confusion, before looking down, seeing you kneeled down in front of him and picking up bread that had fallen out of your basket.

He raised his brows in surprise, kneeling down next to you to help. "I apologize, I'm afraid didn't see you." Tseng murmured, placing the bread back in the basket.

You smiled weakly. "Oh... No worries, I'll just go home and bake some more bread..." You reassured, not looking at him. Once you fixed the basket and placed all the spoiled bread back in it, you stood and finally looked up at him.

Your eyes widened slightly once your gazes met. He looked so smooth, so professional and neat... He was very attractive. Embarrassment flooded your features as you looked down, staring at the basket in your hand. "I apologize for getting in your way." You stated awkwardly.

Tseng furrowed his brows in confusion, tilting his hand to the side. "I should be the one apologizing." He corrected with a soft chuckle. His voice was so nice to listen to. "You are the one who ended up dropping your things. What was the basket for?" He questioned curiously.

"Oh... It was for the senior center. I figured I would do something nice for them since things have been rough around the slums lately." You explained, glancing up at him. There was a very slight glint of guilt in his eyes. "But don't worry! I have plenty of materials left over to make more, it's quite alright-"

Tseng shook his head, holding up a hand to stop you from continuing on with your excuses and apologies. You were rendered speechless at this, not only was it effective, but it was also very hot. "I'll take you home and bring you back so no one else can knock your bread out of your hand." He decided with a firm nod. You found it very kind from someone who seemed stoic.

"I suppose that will work, then." You answered with a smile, beginning to guide him back to your small home. "If I may ask... What are you doing around the slums? You seem like you belong up top." You remarked, snickering softly.

"I was... Visiting someone. It isn't often I come around the slums, unfortunately, I don't know my way." He lied easily, following you closely. "You said earlier that things are rough lately... How come?" Tseng questioned, mentally hitting himself for sounding like an interrogator.

You didn't seem to notice, simply shrugging. "One of the older men died recently, he was murdered. Someone claims he was assassinated by some guys from Shinra... She mentioned the Turks, but crime has been at an all-time high, so I doubt it." You explained simply, shrugging. Tseng let out a breath of relief when you finished speaking. He remembered the older male. Unfortunately, he got too close to Aerith, and that was an issue.

"That's unfortunate... I'm sorry to hear that." He responded smoothly, clasping his hands behind his back as he walked. "It's very kind of you to do something like this for them. I'm sure their loss is hard."

"I'm sure... I wanted to ease the pain in whatever way I could." You sighed, unlocking your door and letting him inside. "It isn't much, feel free to make yourself comfortable." You said as he entered, smiling and heading into the kitchen.

You couldn't take your mind off of him, even when he was physically there with you. Often times while he was speaking, your eyes would fall to his lips for half a second before returning back to his gaze. You hoped he didn't notice this, it was quite... Embarrassing to fall for someone so easily.

But of course, he noticed. He noticed everything about you within the span of only a couple of minutes. The way Tseng analyzed you and took note of every habit he could find somewhat amused him. You were shy, clearly infatuated with him, and also very trusting. He could ask anything from you, and you'd tell him the truth without missing a beat. This would be useful in the future, but for now, he would simply humor your infatuation.

At least, that was the plan. He hadn't realized it until you two were about to part, but he had also grown a liking for you. When you were saying your goodbyes, he felt a bit... Sad? Or maybe he was looking forward to the next time he was going to see you. The feeling was unfamiliar... But he did enjoy your presence, so he took it as a good thing.

You, however, dreaded your separation. You had grown to like him a lot. He listened very well, and he was very attractive and caring. It was probably a small crush you developed over the hour or two you had spent together, but you weren't really ready for him to go yet. Once he dropped you off at the senior center, you turned to him and smiled sadly. "It was nice meeting you. I don't think I ever caught your name." You pointed out awkwardly, tucking your hair behind your ear.

He raised his brows in surprise and confusion, before offering an easy smile. "My name is... Tseng." He introduced himself, furrowing his brows. "I don't tell anyone usually, so you're one of the few who know it." Tseng explained, a small smirk on his lips.

You nodded happily, returning the smile. "Your secret is safe with me." You responded in a joking tone.

After that, Tseng made it a goal to visit you once every two weeks. Mostly to keep tabs on what's been happening in Sector 5, but also to simply enjoy your presence and existence. He wouldn't admit it just yet, but he found your presence comforting. Something about excusing himself from work to come visit you was relaxing. Yes, he was using you for an informant without you knowing, but he also making sure you were okay. It was... Kinda romantic.

You never expected to see him again after your first meeting, it was unexpected when he showed up on your doorstep with some of Aerith's flowers. He was kind, romantic, and sweet, all while holding it under a stoic impression. You quickly fell in love with him, unable to control it as it felt inevitable. You often found yourself staring back at his lips whenever he was speaking, basically holding yourself back from kissing him right there. You could never tell anyone else that you were in love with a mystery man, they would never believe you, especially since his visits were so far apart. But every single visit, you would fall head over heels all over again, the two of you growing closer and closer.

Unfortunately, there was a point in time where he was missing for a while. After the bombing of Reactor One, he hadn't shown his face in the slums for a long time after that. It wasn't until about a full month later when he appeared again, this time he looked more exhausted and troubled.

You assumed this was because of the Sector 7 Plate falling. You wanted to ask, but were afraid that he might have lost friends or family in the tragedy, so you simply provided support. You were in the middle of cooking a meal for him when you noticed his distracted state. He seemed to just... Stare off with a troubled expression. Knowing that you wouldn't be able to get him to talk about it, you simply paused on your cooking and walked over, wrapping your arms around him from behind.

He flinched at first, surprised by the sudden touch, but he allowed it, relaxing from it and melting into it. A soft sigh left his lips, that single sound holding a lot of weight to it. You figured you should say something to ease the pain. "It might not be okay now... But one day, it will be." You whispered comfortingly, pressing your lips to his shoulder and looking up at him.

Tseng glanced back at you, noticing how hope gleamed in your eyes. The emotional burden of the plate falling was hard to deal with, but he couldn't imagine how it affected you. Yet, here you were, supporting him of all people. Slowly, he turned in your arms, cupping your cheeks and allowing a weak smile to form on his lips. "You're a blessing." He whispered as he wrapped his arms around you. The two of you embraced each other for a moment, your eyes closed as you enjoyed each other's warmth.

Finally, you pulled away to continue cooking, before feeling Tseng grab onto your hand and stop you. When you turned back to look at him, he seemed unsure as to why he did it as well. You opened your mouth to question him but instead, you felt his lips stop you. Once you processed what was happening, you felt your entire face turn red.

Tseng was... Kissing you?

You quickly pushed the confusion away and melted into the kiss, returning it happily as you reached up to cup his cheek. His skin was so soft, his touches gentle and barely there. He treated you like delicate porcelain glass, afraid that he might break you with the wrong touch.

Once the two of you pulled away, you kind of felt yourself lost in a trance. Feeling his gloved hand cup your cheek brought you back to reality to see his gentle gaze locked with yours. Both of you seemed to be rendered speechless, unsure of what to say, but in the end, it didn't matter. It was a comfortable silence as you returned back to cooking and Tseng waited patiently. Even when you two ate, you hardly spoke. Your hands brushed over each other slightly, before Tseng gently took yours into his, his thumbs brushing over your knuckles.

Finally, he had to leave. It was unfortunate. You truly wanted him to stay for longer, maybe even the night. You longed for more of his time and touches, you were tempted to ask him to stay, but you didn't. He would be back soon, wouldn't he?

As he left, your hands lingered on his, hesitantly pulling away as he left. You watched him walk off, an uneasy feeling on your chest. You didn't know when you would see him again, and that made you nervous. What if he never came back? Or... What if you were gone by the time he did? The future was uncertain, and you wished you could have answers now, but you'd simply rely on fate to bring you two back together.

For now, you knew that you were in love, and your motivation to continue on was the chance of seeing him again. You'd keep waiting on him, no matter how long it took.

[deans-haunted-baby]

Dadstiel Shoulder Touch Analysis

I want to take some time to discuss something about this incredible father/son dynamic that I don’t think gets enough recognition. And that is their connection. A connection layered in so many different attributes yet primarily based on physical touch. Apologies this is going to be long. Despite my saltiness towards Supernatural as I feel the show squandered them during its run, I really love the amount of attention to detail that was put into Castiel and Jack’s relationship. It kind of has a Terminator inspired vibe going on which I can’t deny enjoying. The bodyguard and the future savior of mankind. And this bond was in development all the way back in season 12; long before Jack was born. 

During 12x19 it’s through his mother Kelly, that the son of Lucifer forges an emotional attachment with the trench-coated angel whom he imprints on to be his surrogate dad. From the moment Castiel puts his hand on her belly, and feels Jack, they instantly fall in love with each other. At first touch. Trusting each other completely without the slightest bit of doubt as they sense the other’s good aura. It’s a devotion unlike anything Cas has ever experienced in his millions of years. Even more than what he’s felt for Sam and Dean. And it happens before he and Jack even get to see each other. Their bond becomes intensely essential that it boosts Castiel’s grace, allowing him to protect Kelly and her son from Dagon as well as cause a rip in time and space.

After Jack is born and in the care of the Winchesters, scared, lost and confused yet curious as an infant in an adolescent body; the child wanders aimlessly searching for Castiel. All he wants in that moment is to be with Castiel because that is who he recognizes as his father. Missing him and needing to feel that same warmth, protection and compassion he felt from inside his mother’s womb. However, following the tragic circumstances that led to the angel’s unexpected death at the hands of Jack’s biological dad in 12x23, these two are forcibly separated in the beginning of season 13. Until Jack instinctively resurrects Castiel out of the Empty through his own will and desire alone at the very end of 13x03. Proving that no matter how far away they are, the tether between them can’t be broken.

These two don’t even need an introduction from Sam and Dean when 13x06 finally reunites them for the first time. Jack immediately knows who Castiel is going off on his mother’s memories. And their reunion comes so naturally. There’s no awkwardness, no hesitation or apprehensiveness emanating from the angel’s presence. Jack just walks right up to Cas, puts his arms around him and tells him how much he missed him. Its as if they’d never been apart. And afterwards they spend nearly the entire episode practically inseparable. Getting to know each other as father and son. And that goes without saying, while Jack did bond with the Winchesters in person first, there is no comparison to the Nephilim boy’s emotional attachment towards the angel.

This special relationship is very significant to both of them. Around each other they’re at their most happiest. Castiel is constantly at Jack’s side; and ALMOST ALWAYS tenderly touching him, namely his shoulders or protectively holding him by the arm and the child wholly reciprocates this. In Castiel’s gentle physical touch Jack is given a sense of security, solace, reassurance and comfort. Same as he’d had as an unborn baby. Not only is this the angel’s way of demonstrating his affection, empathy and devotion towards his son but this is actually how he non-verbally tells Jack that he loves him. Its purely unconditional. And this gesture isn’t one-sided as I will acknowledge later. Jack desires Cas’s tangible nearness as much as his dad does which is why they’re so magnetically pulled together in all of their scenes on the show. 

Even when they’re at conflict with each other or arguing, Castiel never fails to let Jack know that he’s always safe and loved. That he isn’t afraid of him. His son could be in pain, angry, or vengeful in the moment and Castiel’s affection for that child will never waver. He’ll endlessly put his own life at risk in order to reach Jack; who is far more powerful than he is via his archangel half. Like the convivence store scene in 13x23 when Jack attacks a civilian believing he’d killed his friend and Cas does his best to subdue him. Whether Jack wants it or not at the time, he needs his dad’s emotional support; and the angel can’t stand the thought of his son harmed or hurting. He’s easily saddened whenever Jack refuses his touch as shown in 13x21 when he was very upset over Sam’s temporary death and rips away Cas’s hand as he’s trying to console him.

Supernatural really emphasizes the powerful connection Castiel and Jack share using physical communication in nearly every one of their episodes. Its these wonderful details they do onscreen that illustrates the depth of love these characters have for each other. Unfortunately though, they didn’t get to interact much during season 13. Yet the small portions in their four episodes together is exceptionally substantial. While we’re on the subject, the shoulder touches are definitely a Dadstiel thing. It’s their signature sign of affection and theirs’s only. Don’t believe me, let me give you an example of a specific scene in 14x19 between Jack and Sam; which takes place in the aftermath of Jack’s accidental killing of the Winchesters’ mother Mary.

Dean and Sam conspire to trick and lock away the soulless infant Nephilim in a mystical coffin as punishment with the intention of finding a solution that will end his life. Sam is the reluctant main player in this scheme of using his influence over the child in order to gain his trust and sway him into his fate. Just before Jack’s about to be led to the room and put into the box, scared and uncertain, Sam then puts his hand on his shoulder telling him they need to keep him safe while giving him an awkward grin. And look at Jack’s expression as this happens. It reads shattered. He immediately knows something’s wrong. Sam is touching him just like Castiel…except this is nothing like Castiel. His dad’s shoulder touches are always so tender and loving. 

Jack can literally feel Cas’s devotion for him in every tangibility. But here he doesn’t feel that from Sam at all. Its cold, fearful and empty just like he is on the inside. Rendering him even more nervous. Speaking of season 14 the father/son content we get between Castiel and Jack is even better that year as its all about their relationship growing and strengthening into something far deeper than it was in the previous seasons 12 and 13. It’s the year their bond is put through the ultimate test. Where Jack is made human after Lucifer steals his grace and Cas dominantly steps into his role as a father.  

Providing Jack with a certain guidance, boundaries, and stability in episodes 14x01, 14x02, 14x03, 14x09 and 14x10 unlike what he’d received from Sam and Dean. Castiel takes on all the difficult tasks of parenting ranging from scolding to teaching his son about death, responsibility, self-restraint, patience and the tribulations of growing up. He doesn’t raise his voice ever when he speaks to Jack. And is completely there 100% for his son from the beginning…and the end of his life. Although Castiel is an angel he is very much a pivotal link to Jack’s humanity and vice versa as well as a link to his celestial side. While he greatly admires and looks up to the Winchesters, its through Cas’s influence that the infant Nephilim aspires to be a good person. 

Jack never wants to become the monster his biological father was; desperate to break out of that mold once in for all. And he isn’t alone. Castiel is right there with Jack every step of the way. Ready to challenge and encourage his son whenever he does something decent or makes a mistake. He doesn’t hesitate to tell his son when he’s proud of him. And sometimes he’s there to coddle Jack during times of crisis as displayed in the 14x09 showdown with AU!Michael where the angel takes a second to heal Jack’s minor facial wounds. I just love that tiny focal point of Cas in the background, as the Winchesters are talking, putting his hand on Jack’s shoulder before using his powers on him. As if to keep him calm; like a parent reassuring their nervous kid that it won’t hurt.

Throughout the first part of season 14 we’re blessed with so much affectionate Dadstiel moments like the after-the-battle angst talk in 14x01 where Castiel reminds a very frustrated Jack “you’ve got me” as he declares he has nothing. Or 14x08 after Jack’s death and they’re bittersweetly reunited in Heaven with Kelly; all smiles, touching shoulders and hugging each other as if they can’t bear to be separated. Followed with that heartfelt moment of Castiel tenderly touching his son’s cheeks, sadly looking at him with so much adoration, as he sends his soul back to his body. Then there was their unforgettable father/son pep talk in regards to the vulnerability of Jack’s soul; Castiel just gives his son’s shoulder a gentle squeeze as he leaves the room. Again, this is how these two say “I love you”.

And I couldn’t very go in depth of this analysis without mentioning 14x20′s Jack death scene 2.0; Castiel helplessly touches his son, who’s screaming on the ground in agony, trying desperately to ease his suffering. Yah this was particularly very hard for me to watch witnessing Castiel going out of his mind, completely unable to save Jack from enduring such a painful end to his life. Once was already cruel enough on me. And of course 15x01 continued that vicious trend of Castiel harrowingly protecting his son’s corpse, carrying him over the shoulder in a fireman’s hold as he runs through the cemetery, then gently lays him down on the floor in a mausoleum. I get emotional watching Cas cradling Jack’s head as he positions him comfortably; letting his touch linger unable to let go. He doesn’t even care what happens to him in this moment as long as his son’s body is safe. Very strong symbolism of a parent who will never abandon their child long after they’re gone. 

On a side note I want to quickly call attention to how much I revere the Dadstiel healing parallels in 14x09 and 14x14 plus BONUS: Jack almost-killing Castiel in 15x13 so he can talk to Ruby in the Empty. These just add some nice little textures in their dynamic which compliments their ongoing tradition of showing devotion through physical communication. And both the healing scenes and the temporary death scene are composited very similarly. Focused on Castiel and Jack’s hands in the process of relieving the other’s pain/life. 

Touch is exhibited as being a very crucial element for both of these characters when it comes to their iron-clad relationship. That palpable part of Castiel and Jack’s connection keeps them closely-knit. Its their familial instinct and how they express their feelings for each other. If they aren’t kneading shoulders, the angel duo is often standing beside each other or firmly linked at the arms. And this usually happens during moments of extreme stress, joy, sorrow, pain or fear. Jack relies so much on Castiel’s parental presence. He respects his authority, disobeying only when his actions feel necessary, and will go to the angel whenever he wants to talk or vent. Jack is also comfortable with Castiel enough to confide his darkest secrets no matter how awful they are. That’s the foundation of the everlasting trust built between them. They’re just tethered to one another in such a way that nothing will divide them. 

I’ll begin with the hospital scene from 14x07 where Castiel is being the rock to his ailing son who can barely stand on his feet. There’s so much anxiety radiating off him in this moment as he struggles with watching Jack suffer; holding him so close. Staring at his face you can tell this horrible situation is ripping him apart. Actually, the entire episode is basically just Castiel silently enduring the pain of Jack dying.

The second set of screencaps underneath are of 14x10; Jack is agitated by AU!Michael’s antagonistic claims that his family’s love for him isn’t unconditional. Reading into one of his greatest fears. But then Castiel instantly calls out to his son, grabs the crook of his arm; gently reassuring him none of this is true. And Jack doesn’t resist this as he knows his dad is sincere. He never has to question Cas’s feelings towards him as his physical touch alone is self-explanatory. But when it comes to the Winchesters, that’s a whole other conversation.    

Next, we have one of my favorite emotionally-charged Dadstiel moments in 14x14; where in a fit of panic because the anti venom wasn’t working Jack, going against Castiel’s warnings not to risk burning off his soul, is compelled to use his powers to save his dad. And I love this because this time its Jack who’s the one initiating all the physical contact. Just as the recovered angel demands what he’s done, his son responds with a soft “you’re okay” and the “I love you dad” shoulder touch as well as firmly gripping his arm.  

Finally stepping away from season 14 I’m going to briefly go over the caps from season 15. Let’s begin with 15x11 the Dadstiel reunion scene at the church which is so beautifully poignant. Castiel is so overjoyed to see Jack alive that he takes a second to look over his equally stunned son, touching his shoulders before they embrace. This is by far one of Cas and Jack’s top father/son moments on the show and it’s done so effectively. If you want a more in-depth description for what I love about this scene, you can read my post about it here.

After that is the 15x13 Dadstiel moment where Castiel, suspicious of Jo’s story about the Occultum, had asked Jack to temporarily kill him in order to go see Ruby in the Empty. Two things I really like about this; 1. even though Jack still doesn’t have a soul, is very concerned about and protective over Castiel because of that deal. And 2. again Jack is initiating all the touching in this scene; look at the way he grasps his dad’s arm as he returns him to life. It’s almost as if he’s hoping the touch of his hand will not only speed up the process but also reach his dad so his essence isn’t lost forever.   

And then we have 15x17. We didn’t get much Dadstiel interaction in this episode but the amount of times Castiel protectively holds onto his agonized child, who’d been turned into a cosmic bomb about to go off any minute, having no regard for the danger he’s in is so visually gut-wrenching. There’s a specific moment in the scene where, as Sam and Dean are arguing, Castiel is sitting on the floor just clutching Jack tight. Trying to non-verbally soothe him.

And this is followed up in the first half of 15x18, aka THEIR VERY LAST EPISODE TOGETHER ever on Supernatural. Here is where everything about their connection comes full circle with Castiel refusing to abandon Jack no matter the situation. Demonstrating the extent of his devotion by willing to die for his child just as he’d sacrificed his happiness to save Jack from the Empty. Because that is his son and nothing not even death itself can ever destroy what they have. Much as the young Nephilim boy begs for his dad to stay away, yells that he doesn’t want to hurt him; Castiel kneeling to Jack’s eye-level doesn’t leave his side. Then when Jack disappears to the Empty and reappears back at the bunker reformed, Castiel’s hand remains firmly glued to his son’s shoulder. He doesn’t want Jack to feel afraid or traumatized any further.

This was such an intense part of the episode I mean just look at how stressed out these two were. The anguish in their expressions. Simply put, Cas and Jack cannot bare to live without the other. They’re each other’s home; two sides of the same soul. Castiel loves all of Jack; the good, the bad and the ugly. This is an EPIC father and son’s love that knows no bounds. So powerful and pure that it transcended the loss of Jack’s soul, Lucifer’s DNA, the Empty, Mary Winchester’s death and everything else in between. Oh, and guess what, their “I love you” Dadstiel shoulder touches aren’t limited to just their hands. Its in every single one of their hugs too.  

Notice how their chins or faces just comfortably rest on top of each other’s shoulders. And except for 14x20 their eyes are shut, as if to savor every single second of that closeness. Jack just buries himself against Castiel like he’s never felt safer with anyone else in the whole universe. And both of them hold each other; giving and receiving the other’s love with their whole self. Like I can’t even begin to describe how much Castiel and Jack’s softness towards each other just melts my heart. Their relationship, despite the horror tongue-in-cheek atmosphere of SPN, is surprisingly sweet, healthy and endearing. They are the epitome of true unconditional love and a great contrast to the Winchester brothers. In my humble opinion Castiel and Jack’s father/son dynamic is the best thing to happen to this show in a long while.

For the closing segment of this analysis I want to do something special before I discuss the paralleled-angst driven Dadstiel shoulder touches in 15x15 and 15x18. First off, I can’t shout enough praise from the rooftops about the insanely remarkable chemistry between Alexander Calvert and Misha Collins. Just brilliant casting. They embody these characters heart and soul and make this relationship feel so real, genuine and grounded. The fact that they look so similar in appearance really sells the idea that these two could actually be father and son. Forget the scripts, the quiet subtly these two bring to Castiel and Jack is the true magic of their relationship.

Let me start with the Dadstiel centric 15x15 aka THE BEST EPISODE of Supernatural season 15. This amazing masterpiece of art is everything I could’ve asked for and more; giving me so much precious father/son content that I will cherish forever. I really enjoyed seeing Castiel and Jack in those matching ties, bonding with each other over a case while they save the day. It’s a shame this show never let these two have more solo adventures together because they’re truly a joy to watch onscreen. Fingers crossed for that spinoff.

But I digress, the car scene in question happens at the very end of the episode in which Jack reveals the alarming truth that he has to die in order to stop Chuck and Amara. And Castiel, visibly and outspokenly distraught by this news, has to be assuaged with that infamous shoulder touch by his son; who’s in just as much pain. This is without a doubt one of most emotional scenes between these two characters out of the last three seasons of the show and quite possibly one of Misha and Alex’s strongest acting moments after the Dadstiel church reunion in 15x11. They killed it with the feels here. I like the attention to detail, the shadows and the colors in the shot, the melancholic score as well as how it seamlessly switches from Jack’s perspective to Castiel’s. Seriously watching this scene always makes me cry its so devastating.

 Lastly, we have the Dadstiel car scene in 15x18; and Castiel and Jack’s LAST ONE-ON-ONE together. I’m kind of disappointed by this if I’m being honest. Its not that its bad its just not that definitively great for a final scene between these characters. Especially after four seasons of development. Where are the stakes? Why don’t Jack and Castiel seem as concerned about their situation? Cute as that smile was it doesn’t fit the tone. And where’s that punch in the gut knowing something is going to separate these two any second? It’s too light and doesn’t come off like a goodbye or a cathartic bookend which is what I wanted to take away from the episode considering its title “Despair”.

I mean if they were going to follow up on that heartbreaking car scene at the end of “Gimme Shelter”, the 15x18 scene wasn’t the way to do it. So, the weight of this final interaction feels almost non-existent. Maybe if it had taken place at night and the dialogue solely focused on them not the Winchesters it would’ve faired better. But since this isn’t a rant post I’ll cut to the chase by saying that the only saving grace this moment has happens in the last part. Jack’s in tears telling his dad how scared he is that he can’t use his powers to protect anyone. Coming off very childlike and vulnerable; needing that parental protection that Castiel was always known for. And sure enough, he gives Jack that final “I love you” shoulder touch which I swear had me choked a little. 

Rethinking about it now that the show is over actually makes their final moment together really sad as incomplete as it is. I not only look back on how much these characters were drastically underutilized but how much the Dadstiel storyline could’ve been executed better with all the development that it was given. Well there you have it my full Dadstiel shoulder-touch analysis. Hope you’ve enjoyed!

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Unexpected Part 4

Harry Potter Marauders Era Post-Hogwarts 

Link to Part 3 

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: M 

____

The sound of someone knocking on the bedroom door roused from your deep sleep. You heard Regulus groan beside you as he lifted enough to look at the clock.

“The fuck?”

Regulus grumbled. Who the hell was waking him up at 7:30 am when Halley was sleeping?

“What?”

Regulus snapped. The door opened and James stepped in with his hand over his eyes.

“Do you two have clothes on?”

“No.”

Regulus replied, with a grin. The more that he could make James uncomfortable the happier Regulus would be. He wasn’t a fool. Regulus knew that James was still pissed over you running off and getting married. For the few days that the three of you had been staying with James and Lily, James had barely said 4 words to you and it was beginning to annoy Regulus. He made a mental note to talk to James later.

You, meanwhile, gave your husband a small displeased expression as James spoke again.

“That’s just great. I really don’t want to be in here but Reg, your mother is here and we don’t know what to do with her. She’s trying to tell Sirius that he’s doing everything wrong with Halley. They are about to fight. Not to sound concerned but I would pay to see it but I don’t want my kitchen destroyed either.

Regulus quickly got up in search of his abandoned pants. This was the last thing that he wanted to deal with. He needed some form of caffeine before dealing with Walburga or Sirius.

“Fuck shit crap...what the fuck is she doing here?”

James, who had turned around, shrugged.

“We wondered the same thing. It's kind of funny though. Halley is looking at your mother like she hasn’t seen anything like her before.”

Regulus sighed.

“Because she hasn’t. Y/n and I don’t act like raving lunatics around her. Whether you want to believe it or not, but we used to live a very drama-free life. I knew this would happen. We would tell her and she is just going to show up at random times. Who the hell comes visiting at 7:30?”

“You drama-free? Forgive me for not believing that. As far as your mother, she’s been here since 7.”

James clarified. For once, James had to agree with Regulus on something. When James opened his door that morning to see Walburga Black on the other side, he had to make sure that the world hadn’t ended. James was under the impression that Walburga never wanted to see him again. After all, the horrible woman screamed it at his face when Sirius ran away and James was not the least bit upset.

Regulus turned.

“7? Normal people are sleeping at 7...oh wait...this is my mother that we are talking about...carry on. You said that Sirius has Halley?”

James nodded.

“He’s protecting her like a little piece of gold. I think it's annoying your mother and that is what’s the best about it. She wanted to hold her and Sirius told her that his turn wasn’t over and she has to wait in line.”

You ran a hand through your hair trying not to sigh. This was going to a giant mess!

“I got this,Y/n.”

Regulus muttered as he pulled on a shirt and stormed downstairs. If his mother thought for one minute that she was going to sink her claws into his daughter, she had another thing coming! The last thing that Regulus was going to let happen was Halley have a horrible childhood like him. He would die before that happened.

It's a good thing that we willed Halley to Sirius. I could rest in peace knowing that she is safe with him. I will rest better knowing that James also doesn’t have her.

Regulus thought with a pleased smile. The two of you had sat down one night after Halley was born and decided “who do we really hate the most?” Regulus thought the whole thing was rather amusing until you made the comment,

“We need to decide who would be best to raise our child if something happens to us. Do you really find our child’s security a laughing matter?”

The two of you had come to an agreement that Halley would go to Sirius since James and Lily had Harry to worry about. Of course, James and Lily could be involved as they liked in their niece's life but Regulus was adamant that Halley went to Sirius and you agreed.

Walburga looked up when Regulus stormed into the room. She automatically frowned at her youngest son’s disheveled appearance. Regulus’ curly hair was a mess and his shirt was untucked. Walburga hadn’t seen her son look this bad in ages. If Walburga wasn’t hell-bent on holding her granddaughter she would make a comment about Regulus looking sloppy.

“Regulus, make your brother give me the baby.”

Regulus’ attention went to Sirius who sat at the table cuddling Halley. Without saying anything, Regulus eagerly took the cup of coffee that Lily was holding out to him. He didn’t turn to face his mother who looked like she was about to blow a fuse over being ignored. It vaguely reminded Regulus of Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. If she started screeching, “I will not be ignored” Regulus wouldn’t be able to fight the urge to laugh at her. What was she going to do, after all? Send him to his room?

“Regulus, you are ignoring me.”

Walburga snapped. Regulus shook his head and pointed to the cup of coffee in his hand.

“See, he has to have the motivation to deal with you too. He’s just too nice to say it.”

Sirius commented. Walburga huffed as she sat back down at the table. Her dark eyes were focused on her eldest son and granddaughter.

“You should have socks on the baby. She’s going to catch a cold.”

“It's warm in here.”

Sirius muttered.

“Sheesh mother, would you sit down and take a pill or something? It isn’t like we are going to let her crawl through a puddle of bleach or something. We aren’t heathens.”

Walburga rolled her eyes before standing up and turning back to her youngest son.

“We are having dinner with our whole family tonight. Bring your wife and the child...and for Merlin’s sake brush your hair. You look like your father did after Sirius was born...I swear a woman has a baby and the father goes to pieces.”

Regulus finally had enough coffee to be able to process his thoughts clearly.

“I haven’t gone to pieces, mum. I was asleep. It's barely 7:45...most people are sleeping.”

Walburga put on her sweater with a disapproving scowl that used to send Sirius and Regulus running. Her face reminded Regulus of the time that he had caught the living room drapes on fire.

“I’m sure your wife wasn’t sleeping. You should help her with the child.”

Regulus groaned.

“Mother, I swear to god...it is too early and I haven’t had enough…”

Sirius jumped up and tugged Regulus after him.

“Happy family time is over mother. They will show up to your cult dinner later. Try not to ruin him any more than you already have.”

“You’re not coming, are you?”

Walburga questioned. She didn’t want to deal with Sirius more than she had to. If she dealt with him too much then she could develop feelings for his sassy sarcastic self and she didn’t want anything to deal with that. She was catching enough feelings being around Regulus and Halley. Adding Sirius to the mix would be a disaster!

“Not in a million years.”

Sirius replied before leaving the room muttering to Halley about her family being crazy and to not listen to anything that anyone told her.

“I’ll tell you all about the cult when you get old enough to understand. Your crazy grandma is an alcoholic and needs her special cider to function.”

Regulus shook his head before turning back to his mother who looked ready to start yelling. The fact that Walburga Black wasn’t screaming spoke volumes about her actually want to be involved in Halley’s life.

“We’ll come, mother.”

That evening you stood beside Regulus as the two of you stared at the front door of 12 Grimmauld Place.

“Why are we doing this again?”

Regulus questioned. You sighed as he snuggled Halley closer to him.

“We are being good people and Halley deserves to know both sides of her family.”

Regulus didn’t make any facial expression before turning to you.

“We can just tell her that my family is a bunch of shady characters that she really doesn't need to know. Hell, Sirius can back us up on that one. Halley has your family and she has Sirius...that's enough from my family. She doesn’t need to grow up witnessing these psychos in action.”

Before you could respond the front door opened. Orion stood on the other and smiled seeing Halley in her father’s arms.

“There you two are. We were wondering what was taking so long. Now let me have her.”

You watched as Regulus made a pained expression the moment that his father snatched Halley from him. Orion spent the next few moments smiling down at her as Halley started tugging at the buttons of his vest. ‘

Regulus silently prayed that Halley would start pulling hair that night. That would be one hell of a way to make an introduction into the family...giving someone a new bald spot.

“Come on it. Everyone else is here.”

Regulus reached over and wrapped his hand around yours. You couldn’t help feeling sad when you noticed the dark expression on Regulus’ face. It was the same expression that he had the day before. You assumed that this would be a normal thing anytime that the two of you were in the Black family home.

Multiple sets of eyes rolled up when you stepped into the room with Regulus. You knew a few of the people already. Narcissa and Lucius were looking at the two of you with wide eyes while Bellatrix scowled in your direction. The horrible woman almost made a comment but was stopped the moment Narcissa elbowed her in the side.

Walburga smiled before turning to Druella.

“I assume that you haven’t been told but Regulus and Y/n married not long ago. This is their daughter Halley.”

Regulus hated the way that his aunt and cousins were looking around at each other as if saying,

How is he still here? How is Regulus still with us? What was Walburga thinking?

Walburga turned back to her youngest son with a pleased smile.

“Sit down.”

The next half an hour was the tensest of your life. While Walburga had been overly nice to you the day before, tonight she was in a constant conversation with her sister-in-law. Tonight, she was clearly showing the true colors that Regulus mentioned to you before.

So much for being hopeful….

You thought as Narcissa turned to you. She gave you a sweet smile.

“Halley is a darling little girl. How old is she?”

“Four months.”

Regulus replied. Narcissa again smiled ignoring her cousin’s careful gaze. Regulus wasn’t about to let his guard down. He didn’t care how sweet Narcissa pretended to be. Regulus wasn’t as concerned about Narcissa as he was Bellatrix. His older cousins’ cold gaze was locked on the two of you.

“She’s the same age as our Draco. How wonderful they are the same age! Did you have a hard time with the pregnancy?”

You shook your head before putting your drink down.

“Not at all. A little morning sickness but that was it. Her birth wasn’t bad either.”

Your eyes flickered over to Regulus who had a small smile on his face.

“I think we both did well.”

Narcissa’s mouth dropped.

“You mean, Regulus stayed in the room with you? He didn’t leave?”

You immediately realized just what Draco’s birth was probably like for Narcissa. She was probably in some cold sterile room all alone. “He was with me the whole time. He may have been a bit traumatized but he did just fine.”

Narcissa immediately glared at Lucius. The man was giving Regulus the biggest “fuck you” expression imaginable.

“I think that you and I will have a talk later.”

Both Lucius and Narcissa sat hissing at each other quietly for the next fifteen minutes. You leaned over to Regulus.

“I think I just caused a rift between them.”

Regulus smirked. He couldn’t give two shits as to what was pissing Narcissa and Lucius off. They could get hit by a bus for all Regulus cared.

Bellatrix, who had been listening quietly, the whole time was finally beginning to have enough. She wasn’t thrilled with the fact that Regulus brought you home. Since when was he allowed to go marry whomever he wished? Bella didn’t have that luxury nor did Narcissa or any other woman. Regulus probably got to do as he wished because he was a male.

Stupid double standard.

Bellatrix muttered before turning to Narcissa.

“Regulus was always the weak one. Now look he’s gone and knocked up a blood traitor.”

She said it loud enough for you to hear. You had to stop yourself from turning to hex the bitch. If you needed another reason to hate Bella. She had given you one. Clearly, she knew nothing about her cousin. Regulus was anything but weak.

“Reggie, can we go home now?”

You whispered in his direction. Regulus’ eyes turned in your direction. He had somehow started talking to his father.

“Soon.”

________

@amelie-black @truly-insatiable @lucasfilms77 @realgaytrash @fandomsxxregulus @spiderxalmighty @jessyballet @knreidy1 @rubyroscoe1 @acciosiriusblack @quuenofblacks @hazncalsgal @bennyberry @criminalyetminimal @whymyparentscheckmyphone @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @fandom-trash-worth-it @hankypranky @summer-novak @shaylybaby2032 @marichromatic @maggioli-m @emiwrites3reads @stuckinsaudi1 @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @knight-of-gleefulness @deanwherescas @shitfaceddaniel @wontlookaway @mycuddlycorner

[kosakashuntaro]

for some reason, i became obsessed with this irrelevant filler character from izumi tsubaki’s lesser known series, oresama teacher. he’s consistently forgotten by fans and ranked 2nd to last out of the student council members, but despite that, i still think he’s a great and well-written character. also, he’s super cute!

and so without futher ado— here’s my stupidly long lovemail/analysis of shuntaro kosaka. a pure 1.5k word ramble about my favorite boy!

kosaka first appears in chapter #43, introduced alongside the rest of the student council members. he’s in class 1-3, the same as yukioka komari. the first major scene we see him in is him having a bad relationship with fellow council member, kanon nonoguchi.

not gonna lie, i forgot this scene existed and i don’t like it since he touches her forcefully. it’s a setup for their relationship later on, though. at this point, kosaka and nonoguchi are both closed off and cold towards each other; aside from their animosity towards each other from their interactions, they have their own personal issues for not being good with interacting with others. nonoguchi has her problems with men stemming from childhood and kosaka just seems bad at understanding how to act properly with people in general.

kosaka’s main arc is the student festival arc, where he plays the villain, but honestly, he’s just cringy as fuck in it. i think it’s good in that it shows how damn extra he is, though-- imo, he’s the most realistically extra of the characters. he’s a 15 year old kid who thinks he’s smart just ‘cause he gets good test scores. of course he’s going to be that bitch who smiles sneakily and thinks of himself as the grandmaster of the chess game, even when his partner in crime, kawauchi, knew all along of his betrayal plan.

we don’t see much of his motivations or personality in the student festival arc as it focuses mainly on okegawa and kawauchi. all we know so far is that he’s smart, manipulative, and sneaky. seems like a typical bad guy.

until the last chapter of the arc, #51. for the first time, we see the previously cool (lol) and cunning kosaka shuntaro... nervously fretting over how to kneel in apology to his superior, miyabi hanabusa.

we learn that kosaka is obsessively reliant on instruction manuals, ever since his childhood. he’s ridiculously good at studying and always gets first place in tests at school. however, he can’t cope with unexpected changes at all. everything has to go exactly to plan or else he comes up with a different approach to completing the original plan, that isn’t always appropriate for the situation.

he’s perfectly confident in interacting with people-- that’s obvious enough throughout the student festival arc--, but he’s bad at interpreting things on the fly, once again, prone to saying things inappropriate to the time and place. kosaka has to do things in order, step-by-step, otherwise he can’t proceed.

a while back, there was a post that talked about him being autistic. to be honest, i never considered this earlier (as in a few years ago, when i first started liking him a lot). but reading back, he really is strongly coded as such, i think. so frankly, the reason i like him might be a more personal reason, but... anyway.

like with the other student council members, miyabi helps him relax and feel better, guiding him to be more carefree and open. i have mentioned this a few times, but i think it’s really wonderful that miyabi basically helped out a bunch of kids with mental issues when their problems might’ve looked small or stupid from the outside. this is also brought up in chapter #104 during the hayasaka arc, where mafuyu and hayasaka both contact him for information about miyabi. he basically says that miyabi got him to join the student council because he was worried about kosaka’s personality and wanted to stay near him for help. 

honestly, kosaka is probably the one who’s most grateful to miyabi (outside of nonoguchi?) simply because he recognizes his own issues. there’s a reason why he’s the only student council member whose face you can’t see during the scene where miyabi graduates; he’s the only one of the guys who cry.

kosaka’s problem is that he can’t cope with his plans going off at all, so miyabi sends him to prank mafuyu. even though he tries to get her by making many elaborate plans, he eventually learns to just attack without plan. it ends with him stuck in a ditch and miyabi unexpectedly pranking kosaka himself.

here we see kosaka’s first genuine smile. and it’s beautiful!!! he’s a sweetheart!!! i think that the story of kosaka could’ve worked even without the student festival arc, but that establishes him as an dramatic kid who’s super smart and cunning-- and here we see him just relax for once, and be truly happy.

after this, there aren’t any more kosaka focused chapters. however, he does appear once in a while, usually with the other student council members. (he’s in the very next chapter using yui’s equipment to cross the lake. but since he usually feeds the fish, they all come to him for food...)

kosaka's bad relationship with nonoguchi is reiterated in nonoguchi's arc, chapter #71 where she beats him up for saying that all girls want a prince. it's a stereotypical thing to say either way, but nonoguchi's response about "men wanting to be princelike is self-serving" is more due to her own issues rather than about kosaka in particular. anyway, this is just to highlight that at this point, they both still have their own problems and don't get along.

the next time we see him is during the school trip arc, where, although he’s still being far too overprepared by carrying too much luggage, he seems to be getting along with his class very well. kosaka organizes his class’s schedule and accommodates for changes on the fly (when his teacher wanted to stay longer to see the sea otters), even if it annoys him a bit. it’s an improvement! he’s able to assume a role where his pedantically organized personality is a benefit. mafuyu also notes that both he and ayabe have become more carefree and open with others, with kosaka becoming “the center of class 4″.

i think this chapter, #82, is also the first time kosaka talks about yukioka. since yukioka doesn’t talk to anyone aside from miyabi, he had never heard her voice despite being a close friend. there’s not really any significance to them being besties (does there need to be?), but it does show his sense of responsibility for others since he basically takes care of her. he has more scenes with yukioka in various arcs, mostly in the miyabi graduation arc where he helps protect yukioka from aki.

speaking of that arc, like the other student council members, he gets something precious to him stolen. in this case, it’s the books that he always reads. we find out that he’s actually surprisingly good at drawing from memory despite him believing he doesn’t know how to draw without instructions. this may be partially may be some juxtaposition of him truly being ‘creative’ even though his methods are so ‘academic/scientific’ (even though i don’t believe ‘drawing well’ is what ‘creativity’ is). in my opinion, this represents his progress in general. it’s probably not just art/drawing, but he’s actually gotten better at doing most things without manuals without realizing or being aware of it.

this idea is also expanded upon with the protection of yukioka i mentioned earlier. because kosaka doesn’t have his books, he doesn’t act so formal and is instead more forceful and ‘manly’, making it easier for him to communicate with classmates. by the way, kosaka’s actually popular with the girls in his class (shown in school trip arc 1-koma), but doesn’t realize it because he can’t understand things not directly stated. what a guy...

here is a short break to talk about kawauchi. i think their relationship is hilarious. from kawauchi getting him to dig holes to kawauchi stealing his math books... i feel really sorry for kosaka, but it’s so funny... he just can’t escape him. even in the very last student council saga arc, it was kawauchi behind the scenes all along...

really they’re two characters who are heavily associated with each other and yet... i don’t think kawauchi’s relationship with kosaka says anything about his personality since kosaka was such a one-bit character during the majority of the arc where they interacted (plus kawauchi is awful to everyone). all kawauchi did was give kosaka more trust issues and broke his phone. i feel kinda mean for saying this but it’s so funny how he caused kosaka to be absolutely terrified of delinquents.

honestly kosaka like... doesn’t have a reason to be associated with kawauchi beyond the student festival event. imo it’s just a way for tsubaki to make kosaka relevant or appear once in a while since the other character he’s associated with (yukioka) got a boyfriend and doesn’t appear as often (kawauchi’s common appearances is due to his surprising popularity with fans).

enough about kawauchi though, we’re finally at the end of this long and loving post. at the conclusion of the miyabi graduation arc, the very first conflict of kosaka shown is finally resolved: he’s made up with nonoguchi!

i really love this scene so much!!! i know it’s kinda just a set-up for the next joke, but tsubaki still dedicated over a page just to nonoguchi and kosaka, so it’s genuine to me! it’s so lovely to see that nonoguchi and kosaka have both resolved their own issues with the help of miyabi and the public morals club. they both acknowledge that they weren’t the best in the past, but now they can become friends... this is a relationship that’s been developing in the background of oresama teacher for over 80 chapters... it makes me so happy that tsubaki gave a resolution to it in the end. she truly does care about all her characters no matter how unpopular they are, and i love her for that.

(by the way, i just found out that this can badge released in the same year as the miyabi graduation arc. they’re so cute!)

the story of kosaka and the student council as a whole ends here. everyone’s finally improved, and they’re all happy... people say “oresama teacher has no plot”, but there’s so much to the story of the student council. if i can write so much about one minor character who rarely appears, i think there’s plenty of plot and plenty to say about the others.

that’s all i have to say on this topic for now.

actually, i started writing this back in 2019 but i forgot about it until recently. my thoughts haven’t changed, though... i hope this post shines some light on why i like kosaka and tsubaki so much. to be honest, though, i’d probably just say that he’s sooo cute and i wanna protect that sweet smile of his... my 174 cm tall son.