#the trend being that they just want to hide their powers and live a peaceful life only occasionally using it to benefit themselves

[lemonduckisnowawake]

TMW a story you started to read for the screwball comedy of errors starts to become a thematic exposition on how, no matter how much you think you're a nobody, that if you have power, your actions will always have consequences. Yes, not all the things done are your responsibility - especially when other people commit them in your name - but if they were following the example you publicized (as opposed to your real self), then you for sure need to take responsibility. And perhaps that power you wield can become a fatal weapon or something you use to prove your superiority over those who don't. But maybe what power first and foremost of all is, is a gift given with a request that you be responsible for it, something that you need to own so you can either give back or simply understand how to manage it so you can live your life properly.

[jujusjunk]

“ Is Palestine Really for the Jews?”

"O God, strengthen them with Your victory and power."

Palestine_isn’t_my issue “ is trending on twitter# "

I can’t hide from you the amount of ignorance that provoked me under this hashtag from some Arabs and Muslims

Knowledge is easy to find, but the truth is very challenging to discover

In this video, we won't be discussing politics, AT ALL

Instead, we’ll talk about history and delve into the depths of it

? Because we want to know, could Palestine really be for the Jews

We must understand somethings first

Israel; is the name of our Prophet Jacob, peace be upon him

The Israelites; are the descendants of Jacob, peace be upon him

Meaning; they’re the people of our master Jacob, peace be upon him

"As for the Jews; they are those who follow the Jewish religion, "Judaism

Zionism: is a movement that aims to create a homeland for Jewish people in Palestine

These are the four terminologies that we must discern the distinctions among to comprehend the nomenclature

? "the Holy Land”

In short, because God Almighty blessed this geographical area

And passes it on to His prophets, generation after generation

He ordained the Holy Land and the Al-Aqsa Mosque as the charge of every dispatched prophet

!!Of course, you know what we are going to do

We’ll go back in time to know the story from the beginning

"2500-3000 BC"

The beginning of the second era of humanity

after the flood, only Noah's three sons were destined to have children, as God decreed offspring for them

Japheth, Ham, and Shem

Noah's three sons had the responsibility of rebuilding humanity

As each of them settled in a specific location on earth

And Shem went to Yemen

He built the city of Sanaa

The descendants of Shem started to disperse, giving rise to various peoples and civilizations that originated from the Shemites

Some of their descendants include us the Arabs, as well as multiple other distinct groups, among whom were the Amalekites

God bestowed upon the Amalekite people a unique strength surpassing that of any ordinary human

To such an extent that the Almighty God specifically referenced them in the Quran, describing them as formidable

It is conveyed that their progenitor Amliq was the inaugural individual to articulate the Arabic tongue

The Amalekites grew in number and had to leave Yemen to build their cities elsewhere

They journeyed through the Arab region and settled there, with some eventually reaching Palestine

Therefore, the Arab Amalekites are historically regarded as the earliest inhabitants of the Palestinian lands

And they identified themselves as Canaanites.

"1900-2000 BC"

The Prophet Abraham, peace be upon him, resided in Iraq for a substantial part of his life before being compelled to leave and undertake his journey of emigration

So God inspired him to go to the Holy Land, which is Palestine

God says:《And We rescued him and Lout (Lot) to the land which We have blessed for the 'Alamin (man kind and jinns).》[Surah Al-Anbiyaa: Verse 71]

Abraham, peace be upon him, was in Palestine, and his message was in Palestine

God inspired Abraham to take his wife Hagar and his son Ishmael, peace be upon them, and migrate with them to Mecca

He took them to Mecca and then returned to Palestine

This means that he travelled from Palestine to Mecca and from Mecca to Palestine because he had two homes

Pay attention to this point, we'll come back to it later

The Mecca house, where our Lady Hagar and Ishmael, peace be upon them, reside, and the Palestine house, home to Sarah and Isaac, peace be upon them

The offspring of Bani Isaac flourished and increased in number in Palestine.

Our Prophet Jacob, is one of the sons of Isaac, peace be upon them

Our Prophet Jacob lived in Palestine for the majority of his 130 years, expect for his final years, which were spent in Egypt

Due to the well-known story involving our Prophet Joseph, peace be upon him

Just to refresh your memory

Joseph's brothers, peace be upon him, were jealous of him and they ended up throwing him in a well

It wasn't until a passing caravan heading to Egypt discovered him in the well and brought him along with them

He worked as a slave there until he ascended to a position of great importance in Egypt

After a long time, Joseph's brothers, peace be upon him, found him.

And they apologized to him, because he had become the "Azeez" (dignitary) of Egypt

After the story ended, Jacob and Joseph’s brothers, peace be upon them, went to live with him in Egypt

The descendants of Jacob, peace be upon him, proliferated in Egypt, and they are known as

" The Israelites "

we know about the origin of the Israelites

The Jews today are claiming to be the descendants of the Israelites

, so I did a lot of research to find out who the real Israelites are

? and where they are today

“ 1200-1300 BC "

The Israelites lived in Egypt for their entire lives. They worked, traded, and had children in Egypt

Until a racist movement began by the Pharaohs against them

As the oppression and enslavement intensified on them

God sent His Prophet " Moses " , peace be upon him, to their aid

After what happened to Pharaoh and Moses, God commanded Moses to gather the Israelites and leave Egypt

And here the miracle of the sea parting happened, the sea split. Until they reached the land where they were heading

Moses told them God's command to reach the Holy Land, but the Israelites were worried about the Amalekites who lived there and how they would defeat them

They said, 《O Moses, indeed we will not enter it, ever, as long as they are within it; so go, you and your Lord, and fight. Indeed, we are remaining right here》[Surah Al-Maidah: Verse 24]

Due to their direct disobedience of God's command, they were compelled to wander in the desert for 40 years

Moses, peace be upon him, passed away, and those who had defied God's command also perished. A new generation, the children of Israel, emerged during this time

And over the new generation of the children of Israel, God sent His Prophet Joshua, peace be upon him

He readied them for a significant battle against the Amalekites, the residents of Palestine, who were described as having extraordinary physical attributes

Joshua, peace be upon him, instructed them that as they entered the Holy Land, God commanded them to utter "Hutta," which signifies, "O Lord, remove from us our sins and wrongdoings."

They went to the battlefield and a very great battle began between the Amalekites and the Israelites

Midway through the battle, the Prophet Joshua observed the sun beginning to set, and he became concerned that this might lead to their defeat.

God responded to Joshua's call and commanded the sun to stand still and not move

One of the miracles of the Prophet Joshua is that he literally made time stop

God granted victory to the Israelites, and when the time came to fulfil the promise requiring them to prostrate and say "Hutta"

They mocked God's command and the His Prophet, opting to crawl and utter different words instead of prostrating as instructed. They engaged in wordplay

In general, they lived in the Holy Land for 200 years, and during this time, whenever God sent them a prophet, they stoned the prophets to death

They were called the killers of the prophets, because they killed nearly seventy prophets on that stone

God was angry with them and expelled them from the Holy Land, and they dispersed for a long period of time

“ 900-1000 BC “

Prophet Samuel was chosen by God to assemble the Israelites and prepare them for a second conflict.

The war was led by King Talut (Saul), and they gathered 80,000 warriors from the Israelites and headed to the Holy Land

On the way, they stopped at the Jordan River to rest and prepare for war

Because God Almighty knows their nature, He put them to the test

God Almighty told them not to drink more than a sip of water from the river.

One sip....

a one water sip!!

... a one sip of water

Whoever drinks more than one sip of water will not fight with them

Of the 80,000, only 4,000 remain,

!? So from 80 to 4, how many

That means 76,000 warriors withdrew

Upon their arrival in the Holy Land, the remaining 4,000 soldiers assembled in a military formation to commence preparations for war.

From the opposite direction, they saw Jalut (Goliath), the ruler of the Amalekites.

As we mentioned, the Amalekites are much larger than us. So, you can imagine how enormous Jalut, their leader, must have been !!!

When the Israelites beheld the imposing presence of Goliath (Jalut) and his troops, they lost courage and retreated, leaving only 300 soldiers with Saul (Talut)

Among the soldiers of the Children of Israel was the Prophet David, peace be upon him, who killed Jalut, king of the Amalekites

They emerged victorious in the war and gained entry into the Holy Land. During that era, the land of Palestine was governed by the Prophet David, peace be upon him, and his son Solomon, peace be upon him, succeeded him in rulership

“300 BC”

Alexander the Great. He was a young man who had recently inherited the rule of an expansive and mighty kingdom, complete with a well-trained army, following his father's passing

He embarked on a journey to conquer lands, seemingly as if it were a game. His conquests extended to regions like Iraq, Egypt, India, Africa, and more, eventually reaching Palestine, which also fell under his rule

After a time, he contemplated relinquishing rule to his cousin, and Jerusalem eventually came under the dominion of the Byzantines.

" 100 BC "

During this period, Palestine was under Byzantine rule, and the Israelites lived there as regular citizens without any special status

Nevertheless, they made the choice to initiate a revolt against the Byzantine rulers with the intent of seizing power. Naturally, the king did not favour their actions

In response to their rebellion, the king commanded the assembly of the Israelites from across the world and decreed their utter extermination. This marked the final chapter of the Israelites presence worldwide

We've reached a crucial point that's important for Muslims to understand. As we've discussed, all the prophets we talked about are descendants of Abraham through his son Isaac.

The Israelites are indeed descendants of Isaac, peace be upon him. God granted them numerous chances, and their disobedience is recounted in the Qur'an.

Prophethood transitioned from the lineage of Isaac to that of Ishmael, and the final prophet to emerge from the children of Ishmael is our Prophet

Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him

“621 AD”

During the miraculous Night Journey and Miraj, Gabriel, peace be upon him, didn't immediately escort Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, to heaven, directly Instead, they first journeyed to Al-Aqsa

This is the first message from God Almighty to his prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him

The Prophet Muhammad entered the Al-Aqsa Mosque and beheld all the prophets and messengers, ranging from the eldest to the youngest, gathered there

Gabriel instructed him, saying, "Pray, O Muhammad." In this moment, Gabriel didn't select Adam, the father of humanity, or even Abraham, the father of the prophets. Instead, he chose Muhammad, peace be upon him, for this special role

In my view, this conveys a distinct message to Muhammad's followers, indicating a strong connection between Palestine and the Muslim community

" 636 AD "

After Omar bin Al-Khattab, may God be pleased with him, assumed leadership, he led the conquest of Jerusalem, marking the city's official transition under Islamic rule, a status it has retained to the present day

" 1099 AD "

The Romans arrived and took control of Palestine, dubbing it the “Latin Kingdom of Jerusalem”

"1174 AD"

Saladin al-Ayyubi decisively ousted the Romans and restored Muslim control over the land.

"1800 AD”

Over the course of history, despite various rulers and transitions, Islamic rule persisted in Palestine, and its identity as an Islamic state remained undisputed

Until the year 1800 AD, a figure named Napoleon emerged, asserting his belief that Palestine was rightfully his

He promised the Jews that the lands of Palestine would be theirs. In reality, he couldn’t achieve that, but he undoubtedly planted the Zionist idea

" 1855 AD ”

A Jewish individual named Moses Montefiore purchased the first piece of land in Palestine. Despite his limited impact, this is often considered the first settlement in Palestine

“ 1897 AD ”

A gathering took place in Switzerland, uniting Jews and their supporters, were they collectively established Zionism as an official concept in written documents

“ 1914 AD ”

During World War I, as Britain was actively involved and required financial support, a wealthy Jewish family called “Rothschild” residing in Britain played a significant role in financing the war effort

" 1917 AD ” *

Following the war's conclusion, in gratitude to the Rothschild family, Britain issued the Balfour Declaration, an official decision from the British government expressing support for Jewish land rights in Palestine

Subsequent to the promulgation of this promise, Jewish immigration to Palestine began, and with audacity, they declared, "This is our land, and we care not what others think.”

Throughout this period, tensions between Palestinians and Zionists endured, primarily driven by the significant immigration led by Jewish Zionists

" 1946 AD ”

Britain felt the weight of the responsibility that was on it, so it told America to act in its place, and that it quit, and good bye

As a result, in that same year, the United States made a decision to partition the land between Palestinians and Zionists.

They designated 56.5% of the Palestinian lands to the Zionists, meaning a larger share for them and a smaller share for the land's original owners

“ 1947 AD ”

America and the Soviet Union jointly made the official decision to recognize Israel as a state. “Oh, they wish, this recognition is just for them”

The Nakba commenced, with the aim of erasing the Muslim's right to pray at Al-Aqsa Mosque

" 1948 AD ”

In just one year, more than 750,000 Muslims were tragically forced from their homes, and the obliteration of over 500 villages, along with their inhabitants.

Even their unjust partitioning of Palestinian lands was never truly acknowledged. They would enter any house, displace its inhabitants, and boldly claim it as their own

“1967 AD ”

The situation escalated to the point where the Zionists controlled 80% of Palestinian lands, leaving the Palestinians with only 20% of their own territory, a state of affairs that persists from then until the present day

For 76 long years, from that day until today, there have been individuals who lived and passed away without experiencing the taste of freedom

For 76 years, and it's disheartening that the word "humanity" has been notably absent, this is a test of our faith and what we truly believe in

GOD will ask about your position. I swear to you that the issue is not political at all

Though we might lack direct influence,

staying united as a sincere and focused nation remains a powerful stance in facing these issues

Tell the truth and not what the media wants,

be aware and know why this is your issue in the first place,

defend with your tongue because this is what we are capable of doing.

In the end, O God, give them a mighty victory

Translation Provided By ; _NadaJamal_ # Palestine_is_our_issue

[isthe-protag-cluelesstho]

As someone who is kinda just floating my way through life right now, I've kinda been thinking about what my favorite characters say about who I am and like, what I want,

I mean, I've fallen into the Trap of Webnovels, one of the biggest black holes of How Do We Fuck With The Trope and while I clearly am not alone in my love of Cale Hetinuse, Han Yoojin and Kim Dokja (and likely other blind lovable bastards I haven't found yet), what exactly is it that makes their loneliness so true?

This may of course be my stupid migraine talking, but one of the things I find so fascinating about Webnovels is how consistently they deal with themes of Being An Outsider. Fundamentally, even just a passing glance at the summaries or a roll through the current trending set of Most Popular Stories, shows the persisting theme of being Other in some way,

One of the biggest genres, not just in Webnovels but most Very Online media are Isekais in some form, or the protagonist is thrust suddenly into not simply the stress of life, but the stress of having to either hide your true nature or otherwise display what sets you apart, driving further into their separation from the rest of the characters.

A lot of them now even twist this further, showcasing protagonists who "arent supposed to be there" or who are the "wrong" person to step up into the story.

God, it's like we as a group of people living in the world have reckoned with how far our lives and hopes have strayed from the goal, and have poured all of it into characters who still feel as though they can never belong.

I am US American and thus am reading these stories through at least 3 layers of additional abstraction on top of the already dense nature of Webnovel Fan Culture. I am still learning how to glean the hidden themes from stories which have started to generate triple decker layers of nuance and in joke so ubiquitous, my only viable comparison is that old Tumblr post joking about how reading AO3 tags was it's own form of dialect incomprehensible to anyone not submerged in it

And yet still, I can tangibly feel the ache in some of these stories. Across far too much space, linked only by the light of our respective screens, I am admiring the skill of these stories to articulate the depth of my isolation.

The characters I love tend to be people who feel as though they cannot be accepted. That they must atone for whatever it was that brought them to their current place in the story. An empress who leans into her divorce because she believes she cannot be anything other than herself, and that that self is an undesirable burden. A man who cannot believe he is allowed a family, that his presence will inevitably end that family's peace so he should fulfill his "role" as a hapless, useless piece of trash. A man out of time, who sacrificed everything for his brother and yet believes he's worthless, willfully stubbornly blind to any injury he has cause that would mean admitting that he matters. And on, and on, and on,

I am mostly just talking in order to codify exactly what it is that draws me in, and I frankly think... It's cause I feel seen.

I have always loved lonely characters, Anne of Green Gables, Ender Wiggan, The Goose Girl. Characters who are lost until they settle finally with the people meant to care for them,

I think Webnovel protagonists are so compelling to me cause they highlight how even when you are tremendously lucky or powerful or intelligent, the world does not care. It's only through the Power Of Friendship (both ironically and unironically) that the heros find peace. I guess they soothe the part of me that wishes I could be healthier or richer or more satisfied with my life, they vent the stress of Living THrough Interesting Times and honest to god they remind me to think about my friends and my actual goals. To remove myself from the idea that Achieving The Win Condition would actually help with my loneliness. Cause really, the only way to stop being lonely is to build relationships you can trust to show up at the end of the world, or to bail you out of Time Prison or pick you up outside of Imperial Divorce Court

What's the point if it's not to strive towards connecting with the people you love?

[nobdybettrthnbuttr]

Book Review: Animorphs Book 1: The Invasion

TLDR version: Fun book but none of these characters are getting away from this without some serious therapy needs. So Animorphs is one of those books that I was the perfect age to read as a kid. Only problem is my reading skills as a child weren’t the best and I never made it past the early couple of books. Now that these books seem to be trending (due to someone revealing all the traumatic stuff that goes down) it seemed like the perfect time to read them. Now that I’m an adult who has much better reading skills, I finished the first book in two days while reading between customers at my day job. So I think it’s safe to say I won’t be having the same issues. So for those who don’t know, Animorphs is a book about five middle/junior high school students who are at the mall on a Friday night and on their way home, decide to cut through an abandoned construction site. While there, they suddenly are visited by an extraterrestrial creature in a spaceship. The alien is called an andelight, looks like a blue centaur with a scorpion tail. Plenty of drawings online if you want to know what it looks like. Anyway, said creature tells them that humanity is being invaded by body snatching slugs called Yuurks and that he tried to defend the planet, failed and is dying. He then proceeds to use a blue cube to give them all the power to absorb the DNA of any animal they touch and then morph into said animal. However if they do not morph back to their original form in under 2 hours, the morph remains permanent. Shortly after the alien gives them the power, they have to hide because the bad guy spaceships come and another andelite, this one under the control of a Yuurk and is named Visser Three, steps out of the bad guy spaceship, morphs into a giant alien monster and rips the friendly andelight apart. In front of these kids. Did I mention the andelight is psychic and the children hear his dying screams in their heads? This is why the Animorph books are infamous. You come for the weird cover of the book of the boy slowly morphing into a lizard and stay for the traumatized child soldiers, body horror and war crimes. Anyway, the five kids are as follows. Jake, the main narrator for this book and the guy that for whatever reason, everyone looks towards as a de facto leader. Marco, Jake’s best friend and the guy who seems to be there to tell everyone what a terrible idea it is that they are thinking about fighting an alien race. Rachel, Jake’s cousin. She’s not really given much description in this book beyond being really self confident and also tends to break out into cursing when she’s pissed. Since this is a children’s book, the cursing is not actually said on page but is implied. Cassie, the flower child whose mom and dad are veterinarians and has way more access to deadly animals then any child should. And lastly Tobias, the awkward bullied kid who hangs out because Jake saved him from bullies once and has a terrible home life. CHILDREN'S BOOK EVERYBODY! Anyway, so the kids have to make a daring escape after being chased by Hork-Bjars (race of scary looking aliens that are apparently peacful and are just enslaved by the Yuurks) and Taxxon (weird centipede monsters that like to eat anything and are allied witht the Yuurks of their own free will). They escape and the next day start talking about what to do. Jake is on the fence. Marucs is against it because he’s afraid if he dies, his father will have no will to live. Long story, mom died two years ago and now Marcu’s dad is in a deep depression and has trouble holding down work. Tobias is all for it because of awesome morphing powers that let him get away from his own depressing existence and he had some sort of weird connection with the andelight before it died. The girls are leaning towards yes. But then Jake finds out his brother is actually a controller, that’s the name given to people who are being controlled by Yeerks, and that tips Jake into wanting to fight. The group goes to this weird cult thing that is secretly a Yuurk recruitment/abduction trap that the Yuurks run disguised as a youth group and Jake uses his morph powers to turn into the family dog and sneak up on the secret meeting. Finds out the Vice Principle is a controller Then he hears that his brother suspects him of being at the crash site and that they may need to kill him. So that’s more trauma. Then Jake morphs into a lizard to eavesdrop on his vice principal and discovers the site of the Yeerk Pool. Yeerks have to leave their host body once every three days to recharge in these pools or they will die. Then they go to the zoo and get some better morphs to fight. Then Cassie gets kidnapped and is about to be infected by a Yeerk but then the kids come to save the day with their super awesome battle morphs. Visser Three shows up and they fight. Jake temporarily frees his brother but he gets recaptured and then they escape. But at the last scene in the book, Tobias shows up in his hawk form and reveals he spent more than two hours as a hawk and is now stuck. Overall....the book is entertaining. I can see why they are fondly remembered. But my god, the amount of torture these kids are put through just in book one is immense. I’ve read spoilers for the later books so I know it's only going to get worse. There are a few things that don’t make sense. During the scene where they are running away after gaining morphing powers, Jake is running through the half finished building and wakes up a homeless man. But how did the homeless man not wake up from the destruction of a spaceship literally right next to his sleeping spot. Also why is everyone so hung up on Jake being the leader. I can understand why Tobias would, guy kind of hero worships Jake. But Marcus is constantly questioning him the entire book. And Rachel and Cassie just seem to decide to make Jake the decision maker. Beyond those small gripes though, it was fun. Watching children fight for their lives is always a delight. That was a joke. Protect the children. I’ll continue reading for now and let you know what I think of Book 2.

[loosesodamarble]

Demon Slayer Renaming Continued

Thanks again to @cringeyvanillamilk for assisting me with this renaming project! I'd also like to give a shout out to @cryo-visionary, @spindaonateaspoon, and @loafingdragon for letting me bounce my thoughts off them while I was coming up with the last few names! These guys are good friends and wonderful creators! Please, check out their blogs!

Now it’s time to reveal the new names for the other Demon Slayer character for their migration into the world of Black Clover. Like with the Pillars, it was hard breaking down these Japanese names and finding names with similar meanings/feelings to them.

Thankfully, some of these characters are related to character already given their surnames so that takes care of explaining a few of them. Still, there was quite a bit of work to do.

As always, names written in Japanese are written with the surname first. Names written in English have the given name first.

Tanjirou Kamado (竈門 炭治郎): Tanjirou’s given name contains three kanji. The first means “coal,” “charcoal,” or “cinder.” Second is the character for “govern/regulate” or “cure/heal.” The final kanji means “son,” as we’ve seen in several other characters’ names. His surname is written with the kanji for “hearth” and “gate.” As a young mage a dual affinity for Water and Sun Magic, he would be... Conleth Coaler: The name Conleth is Irish in origin, meaning “chaste fire.” I like the alliteration of the name, it works with the “hearth” character in his surname, and it’s a reference to the Breath of the Sun being called the Dance of the Fire God. As for the family name, way back when, a lot of surnames came from people being named after their jobs. Since the Kamado family were charcoal sellers and Tanjirou’s name includes the kanji for “coal,” I decided to make his surname Coaler.

Nezuko Kamado (竈門 禰豆子): Although some people might think that the “nezu” part of Nezuko’s name is meant to mean “mouse,” the kanji written actually mean “sacred” and “bean.” The final kanji in her name is the one for “child.” Nezuko’s name as an elf host with dual Fire and Light Magic user would be... Lucasta Coaler: The name Lucasta comes from a poem of the same name by Richard Lovelace to the woman he loved. It’s a nickname for her coming from the Latin phrase lux casta which literally translates into “pure light.” It is fitting as Nezuko’s blood demon art is fire, creating light, and the idea of purity relating to the “sacred” kanji in her name.

Zenitsu Agatsuma (我妻 善逸): Zenitsu’s given name is written with the kanji 善 that means “virtue/goodness” and 逸 which means “flee/hide/lost/outstanding” (one of these things is not like the others). As for his surname, it roughly translates into “my wife” as the kanji (in order) mean “I/me” and “wife.” A lot of this is very straight forward and easy to work with. So, the name he has as a Lightning Magic user in the Amber Songbird squad is... Egil McBride: The name Egil seems to come from Old Norse, derived from the term “agi” which means “awe” or “terror.” It’s fitting as “awe” has positive connotations like the first kanji in his name while “terror” has negative connotations like the second kanji. As for that surname, you all are going to have to trust me when I say that I literally had a classmate with this family name. It’s legitimate. There is no way I’m not giving the name to Zenitsu.

Inosuke Hashibira (嘴平 伊之助): To start, the first syllables of Inosuke’s name are the same as the beginning of the Japanese word for boar (inoshishi). As for the meaning of the kanji, they are as follows: “this,” a possessive particle (think of it like an ‘s), and “assistance.” Hashibira is written with characters that mean “beak” and “peace/flat.” The name I came up with for Inosuke as a Beast Magic user wandering Clover Kingdom is... Boris Fritz: The first syllable of the given name sounds like “boar” just like how “Ino” is homophonous with the beginning of the Japanese word for “boar.” It’s also a shortened version of the Slavic name Borislav, containing “borti” meaning “battle” and “slava” meaning “glory” (how very appropriate for him). As for his surname, it comes from the Germanic element of "frid," meaning "peace."

Genya Shinazugawa (不死川 玄弥): The first kanji in Genya’s name means “mysteriousness” or “occultness,” which makes sense considering his, uh, unorthodox abilities in canon. He shares the second character in his name with Sanemi, which means “increasing” or “universally.” As before with Sanemi, the name Shinazugawa means “immortal river.” As the younger brother of the Jade Raptor’s captain, Genya’s name becomes... Runard Ambrose: This name comes from combining the Old Norse word for “secret” (rún) and the Germanic word for “brave, hardy.” The first half relates to the first kanji in Genya’s name while the second is fitting of his character. The name also makes an interesting parallel to his brother’s name (Adivar) since it means “truth.” It’s ironic since Genya is a more open person while Sanemi is the one to bury his feelings deep within himself.

Kanao Tsuyuri (栗花落 カナヲ): The trouble with Kanao’s name is that it isn’t written with any kanji characters, so there’s no easily defined meaning to it. Fortunately, like, Shinobu’s name, there are words that sound similar from which her name could come from. The words I found were the volitional conjugations of the following words: “to rival” (敵おう), “to match” (適おう), or “to be fulfilled” (叶おう) in regards to dreams or wishes. Her surname does have kanji which are “chestnut,” “flower,” and “to fall or drop” respectively. As a mage in the Wisteria Butterfly squad, her name would be... Filomina Castaniva: The name combines φιλος (philos) meaning “friend” or “beloved” and μενος (menos) which means anything from “wish” to “courage” to “strength.” The “wish” meaning relates to the possible meaning of Kanao’s name and the name overall is a reference to how befriending and falling for Tanjirou opened Kanao to her own desires and a greater strength. The surname is derived from the scientific name for the Spanish chestnut, Castanea sativa. I chose this specific species since it is the species of chestnut that grows in Europe.

Kanae Kochou (胡蝶 カナエ): Same as Kanao, Kanae’s name is written without kanji but we can find words with similar sounds and go off that. Her name is homophonous with the word for “a three-legged kettle.” Not the coolest thing to be named after but her name could also come from the same words as Kanao, but as the stems of the potential conjugations - 敵える, 適える, or 叶える. Kanae definitely fits with the last definition best since she had a dream to see humans and demons co-exist peacefully, even though she never got to see it through herself. With all this in mind, the name I gave her as the retired Wisteria Butterfly captain is... Desirae Danain: One spelling of the name Désirée which is derived from the French word for “to desire,” like a want. It think it's a good complement to the “kanau” meaning “to be fulfilled.” For that and how it connects to Kanae’s dream, I went with this name. I think in the world of Black Clover, she would instead have a dream of seeing the four human kingdoms and other races learn to live in harmony. She shares her surname with Shinobu, or should I say Patience.

Sabito (錆兎): Since we don’t know Sabito’s family name, there’s not much to work with. What we do have are the kanji 錆 which means “rust” or “patina” (which is that layer of green that forms on bronze, brass, or copper due to oxidation). The second character, 兎, simply means “rabbit.” From these kanji, I give Sabito the following name as the vice captain of the Cobalt Ocean... Payton Harrison: I’m basing this given name both on the fact that it vaguely sounds similar to “patina” but also on its meaning. While the sources aren’t clear, I’ve found that the name Payton supposedly means “fighting man’s estate” which is fitting of Sabito’s character. The surname simply means “son of Harry” which doesn’t mean much but it contains the sound “hare,” an animal related to rabbits.

Tamayo (珠世): Tamayo also only has her given name and two kanji to work with. The first character in her name can be translated as “pearl,” “gem,” or “jewel.” The second kanji is commonly understood and translated at “world.” As a researcher of forbidden magic and curses, and someone working against the powers of devils, I give her the name... Margareta Verelden: The given name is used in several languages such as Romanian, German, and Croatian that comes from the Greek μαργαρίτης (margarites), meaning “pearl.” Her surname is a combination of "verden" and "wereld," the Danish and Dutch words for "world," with the Dutch word being in its plural form.

Yoriichi Tsugikuni (継国 縁壱): Yoriichi’s given name is written with the characters that mean “fate,” “relationship,” or “connection” and then “one” (it should be noted that this “one” isn’t commonly used in day-to-day life and is mostly seen in legal documents). The first character in his surname means “inherit” or “succeed” (like a line of succession, not victory) and the second means “country.” Dustyn: His given name is an alternative spelling of the name Dustin which sounds like the words “destiny” or “destined” in connection to the first kanji of Yoriichi’s name. As for the meaning, that would be “brave/valiant warrior,” coming from Old German and Old English roots. Since in canon we don't see any elves with family names, I've opted to keep to that trend.

Michikatsu Tsugikuni (継国 厳勝): Michikatsu’s given name is written using characters that mean “strict” or “stern” and “victory” respectively. The first kanji works in relation to his personality, especially during his time as a demon. The second one is probably related to the fact that he was the chosen heir of their family and wanted to be the greatest samurai. Anyways, his name as the leader of the elf resurrection cult is... Viktr: The name comes from me corrupting the spelling of Victor, which is literally just one letter shy of the word “victory” and generally means “winner” or “conquerer.” Same as with Yoriichi, Michikatsu doesn't get a family name as an elf.

Senjurou Rengoku (煉獄 千寿郎): There’s not much to explain here as most of the kanji that appear in Senjurou’s name are also in Kyoujurou’s name. The only unique kanji is the character 千 which means “thousand. So, as the younger brother of Captain Eric Enfernus, he would be named... Ezeren Enfernus: The “ezer” part of his name comes from the Hungarian word for “one thousand.” Also, there’s a mountain named Mount Ezeren in Bulgaria.

[woogyu]

A World Tinted Gold | Mingyu; Chapter Two

Kalon; beauty that is more than skin-deep

streamer!y/n x werewolf!mingyu

notes; werewolf au

word count; 1749

previous | next | masterlist

summary; The only werewolves you encountered were the ones living inside your video games. They were nothing more to you than mythical creatures you often had to kill in order to complete objectives. You had a good thing going with your online gaming setup. Your supporters were kind and usually tipped well during streams. Sure it meant you had to deal with the occasional creep sliding into your DMs, but it was worth it. Playing games online was putting you through college. Little did you know your quiet life was about to be turned upside down at the hands of someone you didn’t think existed outside of the virtual world.

»»————-　♡　————-««

“Are you seriously watching that steamer again? Why don’t you just play the games yourself?” Seungcheol questioned as he stepped into Mingyu’s room, chuckling as the younger wolf quickly turned around and blushed.

“It’s not the same… I’m not really interested in the games, I’m interested in her” Mingyu admitted sheepishly, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. He didn’t know what it was about you that made him so transfixed, but he had a hard time tearing his eyes from the screen. Hell, just the other day when you read his comment aloud, he was over the moon.

“It’s rare for you to show interest in a girl at all” Seungcheol remarked, eyebrow pulled up in question. Until a wolf found its mate there was little reason to get involved with or show interest in others romantically. There were of course some wolves that preferred being unmated; it allowed them to be explorative with their romantic partners. Not all wolves longed to find their mate, and not all wolves would end up finding their mates. He knew destiny had a hand to play in it all, but the thought of never finding who he was supposed to be with made the wolf in him whine. Mingyu wasn’t an unmated wolf that enjoyed exploring his options, he was desperately waiting for the day he met his mate. Right now, Mingyu wasn’t sure if he was simply lonely or if there was something more going on.

“There is just something about her…” Mingyu started, pausing for a second to find the right words, “I just have a hard time tearing my eyes away from the screen. There is something about her that just draws me in” Mingyu explained. He wasn’t doing a very good job at explaining the feelings that bubbled up inside him when he saw you on screen. When he tried to explain it he could never quite describe the feeling that settled over his chest and body, it was a warmth almost like a subtle glow within him.

Seungcheol didn’t comment on it any further as he moved into the room and crossed his arms over his chest. Mingyu knew better than to ignore the alpha, closing his laptop he turned to face Seungcheol fully. Their pack had a different dynamic than most. Normally a thirteen-member pack would be impossible because of the strain it put on the head alpha. It worked for them because while Seungcheol was their main alpha, they had two secondary alphas, Jihoon and Soonyoung. The three of them shared the work of looking after the group and it worked perfectly for them. He liked that the alphas didn’t abuse their power, there was a lot of lenience in the pack and it made for less confrontations.

“Joshua has to head into town tonight and won’t be able to run the perimeter. Would you be alright with doing it?” Seungcheol asked, pursing his lips as he looked down at the younger wolf. Mingyu normally enjoyed running the perimeter, it meant he got to shift and stretch his body, but this time he was a little bit more hesitant with his answer. Mingyu knew that later on tonight you would have a new video posted and he would have to wait even longer to watch it. It seemed like a silly reason, but his heart ached at the thought of not being able to ‘see’ you on screen until early tomorrow morning.

“Sure! I don’t mind” Mingyu answered with a half-smile, Seungcheol never asked him for much so he figured he could help him out with this. Seungcheol breathed a sigh of relief as he leaned back against the wall.

“Thank you, I didn’t really want to be the one stuck doing it again” Seungcheol admitted, the alpha had been on perimeter duty for the past 3 nights and must have been eager for a good night’s sleep. Mingyu smiled and nodded his head a few times, his own wants would just have to be paused for a little while.

Before leaving the room Seungcheol patted him on the shoulder, yawning a little bit as he headed toward what Mingyu assumed was his own room. Mingyu was thankful that Seungcheol’s parents had left him their families pack house. Coming from a family of alpha’s certainly had its perks, and it meant they all got their own rooms.

Once Seungcheol was gone he checked the time, he had roughly 4 hours before he would have to head out.

»»————-　♡　————-««

“I just don’t understand what this trend is supposed to be” you complained to Ciri for probably the 20th time over your video call. Apparently, there was a trend going around among streamers to recreate video games in real life. You hadn’t thought much of it when it first gained popularity, but now Ciri thought it would be a good idea for the two of you to join in on it. Her big plan was a two-part video where the two of you recreated iconic aspects of the Witcher 3 video game. You should have known she would want to do it, she already owned a Cirilla cosplay.

“It’s going to be fun” Ciri reminded you, drawing out the last syllable as she drew a fake scar along her face, effectively transforming herself into the iconic video game character.

“Come on, I even sent you the Yennefer cosplay and everything!” she exclaimed, using her make up brush to point at the camera accusingly. You rolled your eyes as you reached up to adjust the dark black wig that you now wore. To her credit, Ciri had sent you everything you would need to transform yourself into Yennefer of Vengerberg. How she somehow guessed your sizing right you would have no idea. Probably the Witcher powers.

“I wish we lived in the same city” you sighed, leaning your head back and looking up at the ceiling. Things would be so much easier if you and Ciri, and the other girls, didn’t live so far away from one another. But that was the price you paid for finding your friends online.

“Me too” Ciri said with a gentle sigh, setting her make up tools down and picking up her phone, her face coming into full view.

“I sent you the script, I won’t be able to stay on the call with you while we are filming because data rates are crazy, but I know you’ll do amazing” Ciri said with a reassuring smile. You would have to film all of this on your own, which was just a little bit intimidating. Ciri’s script mostly just directed you to do a lot of handwaving and she would add in the ‘magic’ elements later.

“Just find a good spot in the woods and it’ll be perfect” Ciri finished with a nod of her head. You sighed, straightening yourself up and looking down at your phone.

“I’ll call you later on when I’m finished to send you the video” you mumbled, pouting a little bit as you stood and picked up your phone.

“Good luck!” Ciri told you, waving a little bit before ending the call. Great, now you actually had to go do it…

»»————-　♡　————-««

You were lucky there was quite a bit of woods around where you lived, the problem was going to be trying to get to the woods without anyone seeing the ridiculous clothes you were wearing. You threw on a huge coat, effectively covering up most of the costume. After grabbing the bag with your equipment, you ventured outside, keeping your head down as you walked to avoid drawing attention.

Twenty minutes later you were standing in the middle of a beautiful calm forest. Now that you were here you questioned why you didn’t come out here more often. You couldn’t hear the loud noises that came with living in a bustling city and the air felt fresh on your face. Once you reached a small clearing by a river you laid your things down and took a deep breath, basking in the coolness of the air. Maybe this trend wouldn’t be so bad.

After setting up your camera in a place you were at least half sure wouldn’t result in it falling over, you walked into frame and took a deep breath. You briefly checked your phone to see what Ciri’s notes asked of you, before you began doing your best to follow directions. Your portion of the video wouldn’t be long, but you did re-film it 4 times to try and get your motions to be less stiff.

After forty-five minutes of waving your arms around, you walked back to your camera, picking it up before taking a seat on a nearby log. Reviewing the footage, you winced at how awkward it looked, you seriously hoped that Ciri could work some magic on this because you didn’t have it in you to film it again.

The forest around you was darkening as the day began to draw to a close, but you couldn’t bring yourself to head back right away. The forest was too peaceful and serene. Reaching up you pulled your wig off, stuffing it in your bag as you sighed with relief. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, focusing in on the sounds of nature around you. Maybe coming to the woods would become a weekly thing for you, like therapy.

A low deep growl broke you out of your trance, your eyes flying open and flickering around to find the source. Your heart hammered against your chest, and your whole body stiffened in fear. A few moments later a dark black wolf emerged from the trees, larger than any wolf you had seen on tv. You could vaguely see blood dripping from its muzzle, and its dark red eyes were focused right on you.

It paused at the edge of the clearing, its lips pulling back to reveal sharp blood-stained teeth. Your breath came quick as you leaned back, unsure if you should run or try and hide behind the log. Both seemed unhelpful in this current situation, but you were really low on options.

The wolf’s body tensed before springing toward you. Your hands instinctively grabbed whatever was nearest to you, which happened to be your very expensive camera, and threw it toward the wolf. This did nothing to deter the predator from its prey, and within seconds the beast was on you.

[deliciousdetectivestranger]

Summary: When Clave-in-Exile and Downworld answer Seelie Court's request to meet, Ash Morgenstern is declared as King of Seelie but he is challenged by Kit Herondale who announces his legacy. As the boys duel for the crown, secrets start coming to light. But will all these secrets be welcomed?

Known Secrets are Revealed

The mundanes of New York could tell something unnatural was happening in the city. Everyone was keeping track of the thick tension which had settled the city as the fog surrounded England during the Industrial Revolution, anytime now it would happen.

What they didn’t know was that it had begun a long time ago. For weeks New York was being shrouded deeply by the Warlock, Nephilim, and Fae wards. A few hours ago, the parley of Seelie Court had arrived in Central Park with the Seelie Queen herself at the centre. They had been greeted by the Clave-in-Exile, Werewolves, Vampires, Warlocks, Unseelie Court, and Wild Hunt. Confusion had spread through the lower ranks of both sides at such a huge and varied receiving party. It wasn’t as if a war was in talks or were the Nephilim still ruminating over the parley conducted by Horace Dearborn and Oban of Unseelie Court had resulted in the majority of Nephilim leaving their beloved Idris to Cohort.

Even though Alec Lightwood-Bane was now the Consul his ability to put up with bullshit was still low. He had refused the talk, talk, talk, and do no work attitude of the Clave. This was a difficult beginning for them. He was not going to make it impossible by allowing his shadowhunters to whine, refusing to do what was expected, and just being unhelpful to spite others. With Diego Rocio Rosales as the Inquisitor, his load had lessened a lot.

When the Seelie Court had requested the parley Nephilim and the Downworlders had instantly gone on high alert. After all, it was Seelie Court that had aided Sebastian Morgenstern and his Endarkened and they had never apologised. These days the Shadow World trusted the Unseelie Court which had been kept hidden and the tales of its cruelty reaching young ears but had transformed greatly under the rule of Kieran Kingson. The Unseelie Court participating in the change with immense enthusiasm as they too had been exhausted from living their lives like that.

Of Course, the beautiful but treacherous Seelie Court had shown their cards one by one but to their eternal frustration their opponents were completely nonchalant about it, some even appeared bored, something which their dramatic souls just couldn’t bear. The knowledge that Seelie Court and the cohort were in cahoots was a surprise. Though for years now they had been aware that the CohortChort had been watching them, all thanks to the spying done by the ghost of Livia Blackthorn in March 2013. Though the only people who truly knew from where the information had come up were Livia, her twin brother Tiberius Blackthorn (then a centurion in training), Christopher Herondale (the Lost Herondale), and Magnus Bane (the High Warlock of Brooklyn). Magnus had declared that they couldn’t tell the truth as it will endanger Livvy along with Kit and Ty, who had tried and failed to do the necromancy, but one day in the future Livvy would get the credit she deserved while Kit and Ty would be punished for the punishment they had in store.

Janus and Ash Morgenstern were also not a shock. Janus when he had tried to spy on the AU version of himself and his friends had also kissed Clary Fairchild. She had later teased her fiancée of his odd behaviour earlier the evening but had received a negative. Suspicious the couple had discussed this with their friends and had wondered if someone was taking their obsession towards Clary and Jace towards a higher disgusting and concerning level ore this was an atrocious prank. But they were unable to draw out his motives until Maia Roberts had complained that one of her werewolves had been missing for days and they hadn’t been able to find her. Thanks to Magnus’ magic they had found her dead body and of a fae boy who had been identified to be of Unseelie Court. It had worried them greatly but not much as Alec who had recognised the couple from an outing with his family. When Emma Carstairs and Julian Blackthorn had visited the New York Institute as the last stop for their Travel Year, they had concluded that this Jace was Jace Herondale but from Thule. He had been Sebastian Morgenstern’s right hand, someone who after seeing and participating in the unending massacre of his world had lost his sanity and was a danger to them. And if Jace of Thule was here then Ash Morgenstern might be here as well.

What had shocked them was the betrayal of Lily Chen and her Vampires. After the Seelie Queen had removed the oblivion placed on her she had remembered her promise to Janus of Information in return for Raphael Santiago of Thule. Lily with a heavy heart and guilty conscience had aided the Seelie Court.

The Seelie Queen indicated towards her son and said, “By my blood, he is the heir to Seelie, by his father, Sebastian Morgenstern’s blood, he is a shadowhunter, by Lilith, the Mother of Warlocks’ Blood, he has been blessed by the Fallen Angels, and by the Unseelie King Arawn’s experiments, he holds many gifts. I am here to announce his rulership and to should anyone present know of any reason that Ash should not be the King, speak now, or forever hold your peace.”

“We should hire her to conduct our wedding ceremony,” Simon Lewis Lovelace muttered.

Isabelle Lightwood nodded her assent. “With fair folk arranging our wedding it will be bold, beautiful, and dangerous.”

“Not unlike both of you.” Cristina Mendoza Rosales pointed out. The couple shared a smile, ignoring the exasperated looks sent by their friends.

Drusilla Blackthorn hearing this exchange added her own two cents, “You guys should make themes for each program. The wedding ceremony will be of shadowhunter style of course but have the reception in Star Wars theme” Jace groaned. “And how about the rehearsal in the horror theme. You’ll start a new trend.”

“Why horror theme? To depict the horrors of marriage?” Thais Pedroso questioned her friend and received a stink eye for her sarcasm and lack of support to Dru’s schemes. Emma and Jace could sympathise with her for having parabatais who never appreciated their grand plans.

Alec ignoring the childish squabbling taking place behind him spoke out, “I gather that you want your son to be the King but what of Ash? What does he want?”

Silence fell in the park. No one had expected this. Ash Morgenstern was the son of Sebastian Morgenstern and Seelie Queen, grandson of Valentine Morgenstern, would of course be a discriminating, bloodthirsty, power-hungry character. But at Alec’s question, they all had to agree that they were being biased. Once upon a time, Downworld had stood against Nephilim and also to the different factions of Downworlders, Shadowhunters too had butchered them kept their remains as trophies in their houses, even today their Vampire alleys had turned out to be traitors so, no they couldn’t say that they knew anything about Ash Morgenstern.

Ash eyed Alec, a golden metal band hid his forehead, his face blank but his Fairchild green eyes were of a predator honed by the years of captivity in Unseelie Court, surviving in Thule from his own AU father and of the politics in Seelie Court where honeyed tongues had poison and beautiful faces hid grotesque personalities.

“I request you, Consul, to not try to create a rift in between my mother and me. If there had to be a rift it would have appeared years ago. I have heard a lot about you from the rumours and from Janus who had you as a parabatai but knows nothing about you. You are a stranger and why should I believe a stranger’s word over those who are dear to me?”

“Well, I’ll thank the angel that you’ve thoroughly understood the basic instructions given to children.” Kit Herondale said. “At least we won’t have a Snow-White situation on our hand.”

Titters could be heard as the tension slightly lowered.

“Watch it, boy!” Janus growled. “Your sanity ought to be questioned for making merry of such important occasion.”

The Seelie Queen frowned as she stared at Kit. She didn't see any kind of resemblance between him and Jace Herondale then why did he look so familiar?

Kit rolled his eyes. The blasé persona achieved after spending years at Shadow Market, the tumultuous times in which his Nephilim heritage had revealed and of course the Herondale he was made a striking combination, hiding a brilliantly sharp mind which could see through every single of actions of his enemies.

“You were born sometime before 2009. You should be in 3rd grade now not going on and declaring yourself as King. Have you even completed today’s homework? You are spoiling your son too much, your majesty. He will turn out like Draco Malfoy like this.”

Laughter was clear this time. Ash’s lip curled at the comment. Someone *cough*Simon*cough* even did an improvised ‘My mother will hear about this.’

“He is right.” Ty Blackthorn spoke up. “His age by Fair Folk standard and by ours presents an anomaly. You can’t expect us to see this as anything more than a farce.”

Kit beamed at him before recalling himself. Ty didn’t even spare him a glance.

Livvy who was floating in the middle of both of them fell to her knees and held her hands above her. Glancing at the sky she beseeched, “Grant me the serenity, Raziel . . . this is turning worse by the moment.”

At that, both boys glared at her.

“Ty, the question is not about age but maturity.” Ty’s boyfriend Anush Joshi said.

“Yeah. But we do need to come up with something for this. What if tomorrow Ash calls us to announce he is making his child the ruler? Fae do age rather strangely. Surely there must be something to do.” Mark Blackthorn crowed.

Hong Yeon Woo of Seoul Institute raised replied, “Due to the unique age calculating system used in my country, Koreans consider a year in the womb as counting towards their age, so every one is one year old at birth. Everyone gets one year added to their Korean age on New Year's Day. But internationally it’s bothersome.”

“In Romania, many old families consider their members one year older each time their birthdays come up.” Casimir Munteanu of Craiova Institute answered.

“See? We need to do something about this. Truly mundanes always have answers to any kind of situations.” Mark gleefully said. “And we shouldn’t hesitate to take their lead. We already have Nephilim currency with our Consul on it.”

Alec groaned. Those had been truly trying times.

“In case the nonsense is finished, Consul either swear your allegiance or we shall have to drench this park from Summer to Autumn,” Janus called out.

The threat didn’t go unheard. Clary and Julian felt sick at this horrible implication to their painting. Kit exchanged a look with Tessa and Jem. They both were concerned but Tessa gave Kit a determined nod and Jem squeezed his shoulder supportively. There was no doubt in them for him only love and trust.

Before Alec could say anything, Kit interrupted. “We won’t swear our allegiance.” His joking demeanour had vanished. “For I do have a reason why Ash shouldn’t be King.”

Everyone looked at him curiously. The Seelie Queen got a sinking feeling as she once again looked at Kit.

“To join their Courts together Seelie Queen and Unseelie King made a truce that the child born through their union would inherit both the Courts. They had a girl named Auraline, the First Heir. The king who wanted a son was displeased but still kept her away from the Queen who was incensed to be parted from her daughter. Then there was a prophecy that the First Heir upon reaching their full power all the Faerie would fall under shadow. The King was enraged and the Queen was terrified. The war between the Courts grew even more fierce as the people thought that the First Heir was cursed. Auraline who had never even asked for the powers or the prophecy scared for her life escaped to the mortal world which she found beautiful. The Unseelie King however did send Riders of Mannan after her. She visited the Shadow Market where Downworlders and Mundanes unaware of her birth never called her cursed. Decades later she fell in love with a magician at Shadow Market known as Roland the Astonishing. He too had a secret of his own. As they both confessed how they were wished dead for crimes, not of their own they decided to run away together. Auraline through her Faerie powers made sure that Roland lived longer than most mortals. They had a child together and then finally even Auraline’s powers couldn’t keep death away from Roland. When Roland died, Auraline chose to be with him.”

One could hear the leaves rustle from the breeze as the parley intently heard Kit. The Seelie Queen was expressionless but internally her heart ached at the injustice done to her daughter. Jace and Clary wondered why Kit knew First Heir’s story in such detail. Mother Hawthorn connected the dots and as she looked at Kit, all she could remember were the rumours of when he had been found in LA’s Shadow Market where he had been kept hidden and not long after had left with the couple who had visited her years ago. He hadn’t been seen since then. He too had been forced into hiding just like Auraline. She was just glad that the love between Kit and the couple was real. It was what Auraline had deserved and thankfully Kit had received.

Kit continued, “Auraline’s child had a child. And so it went. There is still a First Heir in the world.”

In unison, the parley gasped.

“Tobias Herondale and Eva Blackthorn’s child, Ephriam was secretly taken to safety by Catarina Loss before the unfair justice of Tobias’ crime was carried out by the Clave. The line from Ephriam is known as the Lost Herondale. His grandson was Roland Loss. For those who don’t get it, he was also known as Roland the Astonishing.”

Kit’s last comment undoubtedly made things clear to all. And panic started to replace the tension. ‘What now?’ was the biggest question in everyone’s mind.

“The First Heir Line and the Lost Herondale have intertwined ages ago. Hunted by the Riders of Mannan, unwanted by their people, shunned by the Courts and the Nephilim, they found their refuge in the Shadow Markets.”

Hypatia Vex, Juliette the Queen of Bueno Aires Shadow Market, Mother Hawthorn along with other Shadow Market denizens couldn’t help but smile.

“I am Christopher Jonathan Herondale. I am the Lost Herondale and the First Heir of Faerie.”

At once shouting began from both sides of the parley. Confusion, fury ran rampant. One thing was in agreement that they all had been blindsided.

Kit looked unconcerned though his hand was on his double-aged straight sword. Tessa and Jem shifted into a battle stance. Emma and Julian slowly inched towards Kit. Magnus, Catarina, and Ragnor added wards in front of Kit. Kieran made a motion and the Unseelie guards split in two one surrounding Kieran and the other unsurely moved towards Kit. Cristina and Mark though didn’t move from beside Kieran. Livvy hovered above Kit but not before shooting him a betrayed look, which her younger sister was sporting too. Helen and Aline standing beside moved to shield them.

Out of the corner of his eye Kit saw that Ty was unsurprised. “I have been wondering how you made the Riders’ horses disappear that day in the Brocelind Forest.” He answered at Kit’s questioning look. Livvy and Dru shifted their glares to him.

"You did hit one of the riders with your slingshot." Kit spoke as he remembered.

Alec, Jace, Clary, Isabelle, and Simon couldn’t decide which one of them was more shocked, especially considering Magnus was unsurprised. Jaime Rocio Rosales standing beside his brother couldn’t deny that Kit was really and truly intriguing. That day in the LA institute’s library he had given Eternidad to Cristina, Mark, and Kieran, he was curious about the boy who was distinctly not a Blackthorn yet he fit in them just like Kieran. It was later when he had visited Diego in New York, he had learned who that boy was.

A growl interrupted the noise. It was Janus. He barked to Kit, “Where is the proof? How do we know you aren’t lying?”

Jace cut in, “How do we know you and Ash aren’t some faerie illusions forcing us to do your bidding”.

As Janus glowered at him, all Jace could think was how close he had come to share this man’s fate. He grabbed Clary’s hand, his palms sweaty but she only smiled at him and squeezed his hand.

Ash’s voice brokered their attention. “Then Christopher, why don’t you and I duel for the crown?”

“Well Asher, I find it difficult to finish my daily chores, there is no way I am going to shoulder the burden of ruling a realm.”

Anush goggled at him, Jaime choked, Julian nodded prompting an amused smile from Emma, Livvy and Dru facepalmed, Ty, smiled a little, Jace was ready to make a smartass comment was silenced by Alec and Clary.

“We will duel Christopher. Duel to death for the crown.” Ash snarled. His eyes narrowed at Kit.

The parley wondered what would be the outcome. They couldn’t decide between Ash and Kit both scions of important Fae ancestry but shadowhunter blood ran through their veins as well. The Seelie Queen was trying to gather her wits. She was not fond of Nephilim and definitely not of Herondales but she couldn’t ignore how Kit bore such a strong resemblance to her Auraline. Absently she wondered if the magic they had done on Auraline had passed down to Kit as well.

Kit tilted his head and after thinking for a moment sighed and nodded. Panic and excitement ran through the parley. The Seelie Queen and the Downworlders and shadowhunters who knew Kit started speaking at once. Only Jem and Tessa were quiet. They squeezed his shoulder and then stared directly at Ash.

Both blonde boys moved towards each other effectively silencing the parley. They drew out their swords and circled each other. Finally, Kit stepped at him.

“He shouldn’t have made the first move.” Jace concernedly said.

Janus chuckled at Kit’s impatience and inexperience.

But as Ash moved to block it was clear that Kit had feinted throwing him off guard and moving closer to the Seelie prince. Kit’s blade was about to slice Ash’s side but using faerie speed Ash swiftly moved. Kit circled Ash so he was always at his back, the latter after few moments stopped turning.

“Christopher’s fighting style is unique,” Anush noted. Ty observed Kit and wondered if he was mixing Mundane, Shadowhunter, and Downworlder styles.

When Kit lunged at Ash who readily parried him and moved so he could end the distance in them and draw him in a space where he could control Kit. Ash started moving faster, his moves rougher, all his blows landing heavily on Kit.

It was clear to viewers that though Kit fought unusually he did lack Ash’s training and experience as well as his savagery not to mention stamina.

Bored and smiling a smile sported by his grandfather and parents Ash moved to land a fatal blow on a panting Kit but he sidestepped just like Ash had done earlier. Ash couldn’t stop himself in midmotion and Kit moved closer, when he hit Ash’s hand with his sword’s hilt. Ash winced and that time was enough for Kit to twist his hand, remove the blade from it. Reeling him in Kit sild Ash’s sword at the back of Seelie prince’s neck and then pointed his sword at his throat.

Once again silence reigned as Kit panted and Ash stared at him wide-eyed. They could hear Janus cursing, Emma and Jace whooping, and Simon cheering, “That’s our Aragorn.”

Kit raised an eyebrow at Ash who had no way to move without getting his head chopped off. But Ash was not just a shadowhunter he bore many more powers which Seelie Queen had advertised when she had introduced him. So, he raised his hands and blasted Kit with a huge fire of darkness.

Screams erupted as Kit slammed against a tree and fell on his stomach unmoving. Before anyone could move to help him, Janus barked orders and Seelie forces surrounded Ash and Kit, but they did look reluctant. While they didn’t like Kit for the First Heir prophecy, taking orders from Janus who didn't have a speck of Fae blood in him irked them.

Ash leisurely walked towards Kit and picked up both swords. As he reached Kit, he prodded Kit with his foot further infuriating Kit’s friends and allies. But Kit made no move to get up. Ash’s brow furrowed and taunted Kit, “What happened? Ran out of your tricks? This was a duel for the crown of Seelie, it was never going to be of just our swordsmanship prowess. Powers are also to be tested but you didn’t use them. Either you can’t use them or the shadowhunter blood ran true and the First Heir doesn’t have powers. Well, which one is it?”.

There was no answer. Ash got on his and hit Kit with his sword’s hilt on his shoulder. He turned towards Janus moved towards them. Just then Ash heard a moan and turned towards the sound. Hidden by the Seelie guards who had their backs to the boys, Ash leaned over Kit so no one in the parley could see when Kit’s blue eyes opened and he grabbed Ash’s wrist tightly, a smirk on his lips.

Everyone looked away when a blinding white flash lit Central Park. When they finally regained their sights, terror filled them as they realised that Ash and Kit had disappeared.

Hello everyone, I hope you'll enjoy this. Please don't hesitate to leave feedback and constructive criticism. If anyone wants to be added to the taglist or removed from it, inform me.

taglist: @immortal-enemies @khaleesiofalicante @radisv @dark-artifices-only @beclynn-herondale @herondaletessa @chibi-tsukiko @ask-the-shadow-world @allysbookshit @themimsyborogove @kit-and-ty-fic-recs @hardlymatters @ithurielkeepsgettingkidnapped @shadowhunting-hooligans @pjo-tsc-trc-otherthingstoo @the-blackdale @kitandtyarelife @merry-thieves

[diariesofaplutonian]

Pluto in the 5th house

Pluto in the 5th house natives are intensely devoted to their pastimes and their talents. Pleasure and fulfillment are their goals and sometimes addictions. They crave excitement, and maybe even danger. Works hard, plays hard. Can be impulsive or indulgent at times. Finds pleasure in being daring. What is most palatable to them is what hasn’t been done or expressed before, or if it has, doing it in a novel, groundbreaking way. Strong individuality at the core. Electrified by desire. Many hobbies. Drawn to art, literature, film, especially film noir, books. Needs to do something fun to feel alive. Likes giving a show or performance, dazzling or surprising people. Understands that sex, like life, like gender, like sexuality, like identity, can be a performance. Relishes in that. May find joy in fashion or trends or theater. Constantly searching for the perfect entertainment—emotionally enriching, fulfilling, pleasurable experiences. Creating and innovating and exploring themselves and the world, discovering their bodies, experimenting with ideas, and navigating their identities gives them purpose and a sense of drive. There is a deep need to self-define who they are. Like Pluto in the 11th or Pluto in aspect to Uranus natives, they have to innovate. Excel. Reimagine creative possibilities. These natives transform themselves and push the boundaries of something through their art or their bodies, through affirming their sexuality and owning their bodies and their uniqueness. Sex is not something to be ashamed of. Showing their bodies is not somebody to be ashamed of.

They are fiercely passionate people, as individuals, as lovers and friends, and they often chase after people who appear as a challenge to them. This excites and thrills them: the notion of going after and getting someone who is supposed to be unattainable for them or untouchable. However, if not careful, they can become entangled with romantic partners who are unsuitable for them. Pleasure often comes with pain, for these people. May have submissive or masochistic or dominant tendencies. May like to seduce rather than being the one seduced. May play hard-to-get. Dating may be fun to them, so much it becomes a game, a cat-and-mouse affair, though, make no mistake, they are not the mousy ones running away. They are the bold and in-your-face, confident ones doing the chase. They almost like something more when they can’t have it. Once they get it, they may get bored, for the fun’s gone—and the thrill of the chase. The key with these natives is to keep the attraction alive. There is a great need for these individuals to be recognized for their talents and their unique abilities. They feel very strongly about the work they create and produce and the energy they provide. Their contribution is always great. They can be as passionate about sex as a Pluto in the 8th person can be with death or a Pluto in the 12th person with the paranormal or mystical or absurd. May have to overcome their attitudes about themselves; self-limiting beliefs can become self-fulfilling prophecies. Obsessions are common and constant. May be obsessed with romantic interests, self-gain, prosperity, love, or their personal hobbies or recreational activities. They are most happy when they’re active and doing something. Invests a lot of effort and time into what they love, as well as makes sacrifices to keep doing what they love. May experience fatal attraction or encumber fatal accidents if they meet the wrong people. They are not necessarily the obsessive one in their relationship; with this placement comes the danger of partners or even random strangers from afar being obsessed with them, studying their movements, tracking them, and yearning to have them, wanting to conquer them or have sex with or harm them. Others tend to find natives with this placement irresistibly attractive, physically or sexually; they may find them drop-dead sexy, say they’d kill for them or die for them or claim they can’t live without them or either they will kill themselves if they can’t have them or if they can’t have them, no one can or will, etc. There’s a danger of these natives being abused or manipulated in intimate relationships, or experiencing dating scares or even intimate partner violence (IPV).

These natives can turn people on without trying. Others may misinterpret their casual actions as inviting or welcoming sexual undertones, and may be very suggestive. Some of these natives are naturally flirtatious, but just because they’re nice or flirty doesn’t mean they’re coming on to you or asking for some sort of sexual favor, or wanting it. These individuals can be taken advantage of sexually or be sexually harassed by people who sometimes don’t even recognize their actions fall under the umbrella of sex harassment. These natives can then feel violated or used or dehumanized. Sure, there are some that like role play in the bedroom and will willingly be your sex toy or plaything, but if so, on their terms only—they will vocalize this and make it clear to you. Don’t assume they are hypersexual beings just because you interpret them as being sexual or unafraid of and willing to embrace their sexuality. Even if they are, that’s their call and it’s not for you to judge. And you need to respect people’s boundaries and privacy and ask for consent. Also, it’s never okay to sexualize someone. That being said, these people may enjoy freaky sex or sexual games. And they might be flattered by others showing/demonstrating interest, even sexual, in them. But remember, they call the shots! Even when they’re choosing to take the backseat and let somebody else run the show, it’s by choice; it’s because they wanted to and only because they wanted to. These natives might alternate between being a top and a bottom, being dominant and submissive, or might have a favorite role. May be involved in a dangerous but thrilling, secret love affair, or may enjoy no-strings attached sexual arrangements and low-key, down-low, covert hookups. Like Pluto in the 8th, they might endure sexual trauma in their lifetime or be seen as a freak in the sheets. Very seductive natives. Their desire may increase when nobody knows who they’re seeing or dating/who they’re sleeping or hooking up with. These natives love to feel desirable. They need or crave partners and friends who make them feel good about themselves and celebrate them; they need to feel celebrated. Sometimes, there is a danger of having stalkers with this placement or needing to take out a restraining order, or several. I have observed this pattern several times within people I know, in fact, one person I know had to take out over 5 restraining orders in 2 years because random men became obsessed with her after seeing her social media posts and began sending creepy notes saying they were going to **** her and DM’ing her uncomfortable messages explicitly stating their intent. Some people with this placement may experience being followed or harassed or catcalled or propositioned, especially by people they don’t know. That is the dark side of Pluto in the 5th. Others I know with this placement have experienced pretty intense, toxic, all-or-nothing, soul-consuming affairs, the whole “when it’s good, it’s good and when it’s bad, it’s bad” shebang. Natives with this placement should really exercise caution and always be vigilant. I have also seen this placement commonly along the charts of sex workers or sex-positive individuals. You see a lot of body positivity among these natives as well. Natives with these placements, however, may be seen in a derogatory light—they may be slut-shamed and considered a “thot,” “skank,” “hussy,” or “harlot” or be considered ultra-femme or hypermasuline. Some might love being considered a sex symbol, but for others, it’s yet another way wherein they are ostracized or penalized for their sexual freedom, values, way of living, or sexual/bodily appetites and energies, and it can be a source of shame and trauma for them. They may be called out or exposed or even “cancelled” due to public outrage about how they choose to live, and can be accused of not being classy or being “low-class.” Their worth and bodies can be insulted, demeaned, and degraded. Their sexuality can be intensely scrutinized or criticized, especially if sex is their speciality.

This tendency can be amplified among natives who possess Pluto conjunct Lilith, as well as the public shaming or backlash. More on Pluto in the 5th house: These natives may be the typical tortured artist. Part of them likes to feel tormented, and other parts of them find peace or intense pleasure/satisfaction in playing that role. Role-playing of any kind tends to be a source of amusement or entertainment for them. They love to feel entertained and they are natural entertainers. They are intensely focused individuals and may shine in investigative work or artistic fields. They are very aware of their own flaws, and thus sympathize easily with others’ struggles and demons. Can get into trouble if they repress their desires. This placement needs to express what pleasures them in order to live happily. Creating something or beginning a project tends to make them feel alive. They feel most powerful when they feel the most beautiful and assured in their abilities. They’re most confident in themselves when they feel confident in their bodies. May not have issues flaunting their bodies because it belongs to them and they don’t see it as something to hide or cover from anyone else’s eyes as others may feel. They ooze confidence and fierceness. Taking ownership of who they are makes them feel strong. I always see this placement linked to gambling and other addictions but I don’t think this placement suffers more than anyone else does, in that regard. That being said, they can run into trouble if they go beyond dabbling in recreational substances or activities and turn it into a habit or vice instead of a mere hobby or distraction. So much of their selves are channeled into what they pay attention to and what they expend their energy in or use, including how they express or don’t express what intrigues and empowers or stifles/inhibits and disempowers them. It’s important for them to stay away from anything that makes them feel disembodied. They are more capable than they could ever dream of, far more than the world will ever know. If they have insecurities, they either nurse it and keep it a secret from the public, or disclose it as a way to get over it/overcome it, take their power back and ensure it can never be used against them. They’re very open about their desires. Very gifted, charming, and persuasive. Charismatic. Tend to be extroverted, people-oriented. They like to tease and please/pleasure (and sometimes toy/play with) people. Unbelievable capacity to self-transform. Many gifts and tricks. Very spontaneous people. Tremendous willpower. The power to act and determine, the power to seize at will. The power to create, the power to manifest. They can often speak what they want into existence, but they must be careful, for the opposite is true and they can easily speak what they most fear into reality.

[halcyonbound]

( SAMARA WEAVING, UNKNOWN, SHE/HER )  We opened the gates to the seelie court for CAMILLA DE' MEDICI and we are curious to see how the DEMON  ( PRINCESS OF HELL ), that is often described as the halcyon, will contribute to the new era ━ are they the hunter, the prey ; or are they just here to search for Cosimo de' Medici, their twin brother? We will find our answers in due time and until then, we hope that they can keep their little secret from getting exposed. It could be dangerous if everyone knew what we know… ( sab, she/her, 23, gmt+2 )

STATS .

( taken ) name :  camilla de’ medici . age :  unknown  ( stopped counting a long time ago ) . birthday : july 3 . nationality :  n.a. / italian . species :  demon  ( princess of hell / formerly angel ) . gender :  non-binary woman . orientation :  pansexual & panromantic . religion :  formerly catholic . moral alignment :  lawful neutral . occupation :  princess of italy /  trained seamstress . location :  cosimo de’ medici’s mansion .

PERSONALITY .

open, caring, compassionate.  she was always a little more ...  humane  than most of her siblings. her deep fascination with everything  living  and  moving  and  changing  extended to humanity - from the moment she first came to earth  ( still an angel then, and naively hopeful )  she had a sort of natural charm, always appearing approachable, friendly, and optimistic. while none of that changed, and she is usually  genuine  in all her feelings, there is a spark of  calculation ,  at times - she’s seen too much of the world to simply accept things at face value anymore.

loyal to a fault.  those she considers  family  are her everything, and she’d do  anything  to keep them safe. camilla generally strives for compromise and peace, for the sole reason that she’s  tired  of the fighting and the conflicts and the sorrows she witnessed in hell, but when the people she loves are concerned, all bets are off. whatever they need, she will provide  —  at whatever cost.

vindictive. it is hard to loose her good opinion  ( or amused tolerance, as it may stand )  but once someone does, they are in  serious trouble .  although she barely showcases her demonic powers, she  does  know how to use them - and to mess with a princess of hell is, quite possibly, one of the worst mistakes one could make. it takes a lot to get her going, but when she does, she’s easily lost in violence.  ( a touch of  hell-ish insanity  is hard to hide when it comes in so  handy  in certain situations. )

free-spirited.  spurns rules and regulations; and bounds of any sort. likes travelling, moving, discovering, trying out new things. incredibly curious about anything and everything and reacts with wholehearted  attempts  and a humorous  ‘ watch me ’  at someone telling her  ‘ you can’t ’ .

perfectionist with a limited attention span;  she has long since stopped trying to wrestle her mind into any sense of order, and tends to give in to impulses rather quickly. usually, they’re  positive  ones - new projects, interests, ideas - and it frustrates her a little when she cannot seem to finish any of them to her liking. it makes for ... interesting situations, however, when she does work for hell.

SKILLS .

trained  ( and talented )  seamstress.  her interest in clothing - and not just wearing, but  making  it - comes from that leftover angelic urge to  create ,  she thinks. it started when cosimo and her were taken in by teresa; the woman was of the opinion that a  princess  needed to have certain skills, and after starting with embroidery, camilla quickly became interested in and learned the other aspects of the trade, and the hobby has remained with her since.

pianist.  another one of these skills teresa so valued was  musical proficiency .  her singing, in their society’s general opinion, is no good  ( not that she cares; she’ll sing as loudly and falsely as she wants if it brings her joy, thank you very much )  and she never quite got the hang of string instruments, but she managed to turn into a passable pianist. then again, centuries of practice will do that.

good mediator.  ( when she wants to be. )

demonic powers.  elevated strength, speed, and agility; possession, levitation, teleportation, and the lot. as she’s a princess of hell, her abilities are much stronger than those of normal demons, although she ranks on the lower end when compared with her immediate siblings, as she does not practice as much and hasn’t in centuries. her powers manifest mainly more defensive aspects, and she has an affinity for telekinesis  ( as  that  is something she actually uses regularly for convenience ) ,  making her able to manipulate a large amount of objects or people at once and with surprising precision.

BIO .

they barely remember their creation.  there was light ,  as it is said, and from  nothing  they became  something ;  one  thing among many. heaven was home, and that was enough  ( for a time ) ,  and they were one with their siblings  ( until they weren’t ) . their fledgling days are a blur, now ;  only a few memories stand out. cosimo and his tales of earth ;  their strive for  making ,  for  being ;  reprimands, restrictions, rules ;  their other brothers’ annoyance - then anger - then fury - with all of it.

falling  is much clearer in their mind ;  mainly because it  hurt .  worth it ,  they told themselves as their wings burned up and their grace shattered and split and warped itself into something  else  somewhere between heaven and hell. they left, less out of malice than curiosity ;  for the need to see, and to  become ,  to be more than heaven’s meticulously directed hand.  corruption ,  they knew their siblings called it.  freedom ,  they whispered as they stretched into their new form,  beyond  what god intended.

except they weren’t free ,  not really ;  there was a  price for everything, even  becoming .  hell was ... much the same as heaven, they found, except viewed through a mirror. the humanity they idolized sold themselves out, but despite sharing their sibling’s curiosity to see just  how far  they could turn, hell’s work held little joy for them. they did not want to see the result - they wanted  the process .  they wanted  life .

rising ,  in turn, was much easier given their position, they remember. at one point they simply left for an assigned task and didn’t come back - creeping through the cracks of the world, looking for ... something .

demon’s didn’t have  true vessels ,  she knew from those who frequented earth ;  but whatever was left of her grace, twisted though it might have been, recognized  something  in the girl. or maybe it was something  around  her - it mattered little when they took possession of the body. they were surprised, though, to reconcile that much with her - they  felt  her fear, her recent loss, her remaining love for a brother long gone ;  a brother they now recognized as their own. they didn’t even need to lie to swear they would protect him above all else before the girl let go.

she became camilla .  after recognizing cosimo’s grace in her vessel’s twin brother, her decision to remain on earth became final. it wasn’t just her promise to the girl ;  she’d missed her brother more than any of her other siblings, and he welcomed her to his side with open arms, accepted her more than heaven or hell ever had. for the first time since creation, she felt ... whole .  human. like she had choices ;  had the  freedom  to choose a home.

eventually ,  they ended up in italy, being  ‘ adopted ’ ,  of sorts, by the ruling family. the situation never ceased to amuse her, but she liked teresa well enough  ( it felt interesting, being  mothered )  and being once again styled  ‘ princess ’  opened the doors for a myriad of new experiences. this  was precicely the  joy of life  she had always craved.  ( and if hell came a’knocking, no one forced her to open the door. )

things took a turn  when cosimo decided to get married and fell in love - unfortunately in the wrong order, she thought then. illyria was … a special case. camilla didn’t particularly care for political marriages  ( the trend of the decade was  romance  and she’d read far too many novels on the subject )  but her brother seemed open enough to the idea. so for his sake, camilla made an effort to befriend her; she was intrigued by the dragon and enjoyed her company with others, but they never quite became confidantes - camilla bemourned her brothers’ heart too much.

when instead ,  he fell in love with one of illyria’s ladies, she was ecstatic - this  was what was meant to be. anastasia makes him happy, and so camilla is happy, too ; conversation was so much  easier  with her, and camilla came to love her like a sister and did everything to make her feel comfortable and supported in her new position as  mistress - especially with a child on the way.

who could have expected neglecting illyria could have such  dramatic  consequences?

good things burn as good things do ,  and when cosimo was called back to heaven,  something  didn’t sit right with her. that fear was validated soon after when ana and aurora were attacked ;  and with no way of knowing when cosimo would get back, she did what she could to help them.  ( it wasn’t much. it, arguably, might have made things worse ;  but it was the best option at the time. the  only  option. )  

when she heard from heaven next ,  however, it wasn’t from cosimo, but someone  else ,  with a very clear message. furious as it made her, she accepted the offered deal ;  but she’d never hated heaven more than the day cosimo returned with memories altered and something ... missing. she lied and laughed and tried to make up for forgotten happiness as much as she could ;  as much as was possible without raising suspicion ;  attempting to return to some form of normalcy. 

CURRENT SITUATION .

centuries later ,  with cosimo’s memories recovered and his family returned to earth safe and sound, they finally found some semblance of peace. camilla tries not to dwell on the past, but her role in all of it weighs heavy on her heart.

now, while they are ... mostly stable  in the fae realm, she tries to keep a low profile  ( fearing the past eventually catching up )  although she grows more and more  antsy  being stuck in the same place for so long.

she’s offered her services  as a seamstress, working from a little house in the village of spring ;  it’s a nice way to stay occupied and keep an eye on new arrivals and the general talk of the town.

IDEAS FOR CONNECTIONS / PLOTS .

LOVED AND LOST :  camilla loves to love. she gets along easily with just about anyone  ( if she wants to )  and collects hearts like other girls do necklaces - but she’s just as likely to give her own away. most of her relationships over the centuries have ended amicably, simply due to growing apart. her one and only engagement is the notable exception to this.

→  WANTED CONNECTION POST : ex-fiancé 

BLOOD OF THE COVENANT : throughout her life, she’s abandoned both heaven  and  hell, and while she still holds some affection for her  siblings ,  she’s stopped hoping for a friendly reception. besides that, she’s angry at heaven and hiding from hell, so that should make for some interesting dynamics.

BAD MOON RISING :  as a princess of hell, she was directly involved with creating more demons. i’d love to explore a connection to someone she met in hell and/or screwed with on earth!

any kind of relationship, really: platonic, romantic, antagonistic. whatever shennanigans you can imagine!

hi all, i’m sab and this is my chaotic friendly-ish demon babe. i’m also writing darcy, who you can find over  here .  if you’re interested in talking / plotting / just starting a thread based off of these ideas, hmu!! i’m always up to chat!

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @neptunianwaterofdream

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a locomotive shape. this means that you're a very ambitious person, with a lot of energy. saturn has a big influence on you, and your life revolves around your career, achieving your long-term goals and having a stable, peaceful life. the empty part of your life is what you have to develop, hence your family, friendships and just relationships in general are what you need to work on in this lifetime.

your dominant planets are uranus, pluto and venus. you are a very unpredictable person, you may often change ideas and opinion. you're a transformation-oriented person, you always try to learn from your mistakes to become a better person. you're probably also very creative and imaginative.

your dominant sign is scorpio. you may have trust issues and be quite of a loner, yet once you commit to someone, you'll be in for a long ride. you are very deep, both mentally and emotionally. you may struggle with power control, as you may have the perception that people are trying to take advantage of you due to your insecurities. because of that, you may also get quite possessive and bossy.

your dominant element is water. you're very intuitive and empathetic, you care a lot about others, and you may seem like a healer to people you know. in fact, you always try to help them if you can, almost in a therapeutic way. you're also very spiritual, and you're attracted to anything related to discovering your higher self and soul purpose.

🌍 ascendant in aquarius, 6° / 1st decan ruled by uranus

you have a very unusual, yet striking charisma to you. people notice you because you look different, interesting. you probably have an alternative style, or at least you don't like following trends. you prefer making your own. you are very independent and open-minded, you hardly ever judge someone from its appearance, for example. you are fond of friendship, it's most likely more important than love for you, but at the same time you're more of a loner. you'd rather spend the day in watching your favourite show on the couch than going out and partying. your self-esteem most probably fluctuates a lot: some days you're very confident, especially in your skills / abilities, and maybe as well in your appearance. other days, though, you start feeling pretty insecure. you're very unpredictable, not only from this point of view, but in your life in general. you're probably extremely indecisive, especially with your sun being in the sign of libra, and you may change your mind often. yet, once you make your decision, no one can convince you into changing your mind, you're extremely stubborn in this case. in addition, because of this behaviour of yours, you could possibly even come off as a know-it-all from time to time. deep down, you're really not. you strive for freedom, you don't want to force others into thinking the same way as you do when it comes to shallow opinions. your life philosophy is most likely 'live and let live', everyone is free to do what they want for you. on the other hand, you're most likely an amazing friend, as you know what it means to support and help an individual or a group. you're an ideal leader, basically. your first impression of you may be that you look slightly unapproachable and cold, but it's not entirely true. in fact, you hide a lot of emotions that you'd rather not show to the world. physically, you may have healthy, thick hair, like your sister sign leo after all. you may as well be naturally skinny or petite, and you could also have long limbs or hands. you may as well have pretty dark features, like super dark hair or bushy eyebrows, togerher with a sharp facial structure, from cheekbones to the nose. you may as well have thin lips.

aquarius ascendant square scorpio sun: this placement indicates that, when you’re in public, you tend to act in a different way from who you truly are. perhaps you’re shy, so you tend to hide your intense, charismatic scorpio sun with your detached, reserved aquarius rising. this can obviously interfer in your relationships and bonds with others; some may expect you to be different, so you may often lose friends because you turned out to be more astute than what they were expecting. in fact, you may often attract people that try to take advantage of you. I wouldn’t worry too much, though, as I find this placement beneficial in your case, exactly because of this reason. but just in case it bothers you, now that you’re aware of this tendency of yours you can try to understand your real self more thanks to this reading, and start acting like who you truly are to get out of your shell.

aquarius ascendant square scorpio venus: this aspect makes you more sociable and prone to interact with people. you’re also most probably very attractive, people are naturally drawn to you. the downside of this placement is that you may suffer from self-esteem issues, as you really care about others’ impression of you. maybe you’re a little bit clumsy too. it’s easy for you to gain popularity, but be careful as it’s not always good. popularity brings scandals too, so people you see in your everyday life could possibly start gossips around you. the good thing about this aspect is that you emanate loyalty, so you usually attract and choose loyal and trust-worthy partners. this placement may also bring issues and problems in marriage with your future partner, and since your venus is placed in scorpio opposing your saturn I'd pay attention to that, as you may come across issues with your partners, especially long-term relationships.

aquarius ascendant square aries saturn: you may be shy and have self-esteem issues, especially during your early years. because of that, you may often appear as insecure to others, or even unreliable. you have a strong desire to be with someone and commit to them, you despise supertificial bonds, but at the same time you may find yourself being too shy to approach others, especially during your early years. especially with your pisces moon, you are very sensitive, and any little thing that others say to you may hurt you. you are overall very picky. at least, this may apply more to the younger you, actually. you don't feel much comfortable around other people, and others can sense that; your insecurity is exposed to the world, and some may take advantage of that to hurt your feelings. you're afraid of being judged, whether it's for your appearance, or maybe because of your ideals or interests. hence, you end up becoming reserved. this is something that will be solved through growth and time; the older you get, the easier you'll be on yourself. also, thanks to this aspect, you're a responsible person with defined values. to cope with this placement, I'd suggest you to do what makes you feel the best. there are different ways to boost your self-esteem, so maybe you can work on that and then start expressing yourself freely; if you do it without the fear of being judged, you will shine even more.

🌞 sun in scorpio, 7° / 1st decan ruled by pluto

you're quite of a loner, you prefer spending time alone rather than with others. you're extremely intuitive, and you can read people like a book; they can't lie or keep secrets from you, you'll surely find out. you're pretty charismatic, and paired with your wise intellect it's hard not to agree with your ideas, especially considering that your moon is in aquarius. you're basically a leader, a very demanding one. you have high standards regarding everything: clothes, food, goals, people... you're always striving for the best, you don't want to settle down. on the other hand, even though it may take you a while to find someone worth of your affection, once that someone shows up you'll stay with them forever. you're deeply loyal, and also caring in your own way. that's because you value feelings, you can easily smell when someone isn't trustworthy. you're probably very protective of your friends and loved ones in general, sometimes even too much. this could even escalate and become a more serious issue, as scorpio is also the planet of obsession, after all. it's common for you to feel your emotions x2, as they're too intense to handle. you know everything about others, but you don't show off and gossip about it. actually, you keep the info for yourself and use it when you need it. you're a sort of strategic cia agent, and your mars being in the logical virgo confirms this.

scorpio sun conjunct scorpio venus: you enjoy peace and harmony. you want your surroundings to look all neat and clean, and the same goes for the people you surround yourself with. you wish people saw you as easy to approach, even though you may struggle with your image. you try to be as formal and kind as possible with people you don’t know well, unless they start getting on your nerves by disagreeing with your opinions or being too bossy. you’re very gentle, not only in your looks and manners but also in the way you dress, making you less intimidating than the typical scorpio. you’re quite romantic too, and dream of having a perfect marriage. the downside to this aspect is that because you take so much care of yourself, people may mistake your self-love for vanity, especially with your venus squaring the ascendant. also, your self-esteem may depend too much on others’ opinion of you; you may start thinking you’re ugly and unworthy of love just because someone told you you’re not their type, to sum up.

scorpio sun opposite aries saturn: during the first years of your life, you were most likely very insecure. probably, your father or any kind of authoritative figure influenced your growth, making you self-conscious about your looks and abilities. they might've been really strict, or at least critical or overprotective of you. you feel the need to be perfect, or at least to meet others' expectations. you may also care too much about what others think about you. you may be a late bloomer, and you could face some hardships in your relationships, but this gets better with time. this probably manifests in your approach to friendships and relationships, making you quite awkward. don't worry, though; as you become more aware of yourself and your potential, saturn's lessons won't seem so harsh anymore.

🌙 moon in pisces, 11° / 2nd decan ruled by neptune and pluto

hands down my favourite moon sign! you're extremely empathetic and sensitive, you care a lot about others and you treat others' problems as if they were yours, you get totally immersed in them. you have quite a vivid imagination, you're able to idealize and picture anything you want. while this placement gives you an incredible amount of creativity, it can also make you uncomfortable. in fact, you may actually find yourself imagining every detail of every situation, even the worst ones. let's suppose you hear of a rape at the news; you literally start imagining the scene detail by detail, and it makes you extremely uncomfortable. actually, it literally ruins your mood, as it's as if you actually lived that scene. going back to the creativity matter, you have the soul of an artist. you have very enhanced emotions, and you're able to express them through artistic outlets. you could be amazing at writing poetry, books, art, music... also, your particular empathy of human's intellect can also make you an amazing psychologist or actor, as you're able to understand others' feelings and make them your own. you're extremely spiritual, and if you don't feel like that, you just have yet to have your spiritual awakening. you may be able to talk to spirits, for example, or perhaps you have very meaningful dreams. or maybe, you could literally predict the future through them. you're also most probably an avid daydreamer, you tend to get distracted easily because you're too busy thinking about random scenarios in your head. seriously, you could even make a movie out of them. you're also an hopeless romantic, and you dream of finding not just your spouse, but your literal soulmate. to make it simple, you want all of your daydreams to become reality.

pisces moon opposite virgo mars: your feelings are very intense. you may tend to react aggressively, or at least overreact. you feel the constant need to express your emotions, but you also want to be understood by others. you tend to be aggressive because you're actually afraid that others may be the first ones to hurt you. you don't really do it with malice, it's your way to defend yourself from eventual enemies. this placement also indicates that your childhood / family life was or will be quite turbulent, even though I don't think it's necessarily you case as your 4th house, which is about family and home, isn't badly aspected, it's probably nothing too serious. to cope with this placement, I'd suggest you to be a little bit more mechanic when you express your feelings. you don't have to hide them, just try not to vent all your anger around. you don't seem strong, you're just exposing your weaknesses in this way.

pisces moon conjunct pisces jupiter: you enjoy making different experiences and living your life to the fullest, making you also a risk-taker. you may lack self-control, when it comes to expressing your emotions. you could be too impulsive, for example. with this trait you get bored easily, and you may have a reputation for being flaky. you tend to overindulge; you may spend too much money, or even develop eating disorders like binge-eating. at least, you're able to build your life again and have a fresh start, but you risk to get stuck in this cycle. you have the potential to master different talents, but you may struggle to develop them due to this placement. you're a procrastinator, and you find it hard to focus on more things at the same time. you may also attract people with different beliefs and ideas from you, causing you to fall out with them easily. there are also positive sides to this placement, though! you're probably naturally lucky, even though luck may not always be by your side. you have a nice sense of humor, making you more likeable to contrast your scorpio rising.

🗣 mercury in scorpio, 28° / 3rd decan ruled by pluto and the moon

you're extremely blunt and straight-forward, you may actually hurt people with your words. you probably lack diplomacy, and you're very realistic. the thing is, you speak the truth, but not everyone can accept it. that's why your behaviour is so controversial. though, since your mercury is also conjunct venus, I assume you could manifest this side of you only when you react by impulse, when you're angry. otherwise, you try to be as well-spoken as possible. you speak fluent sarcasm, and that could annoy people who don't understand your sense of humor. you're probably good at lying, and even manipulating people. you may often make others change their mind just with your own words, but be careful not to use this skill to hurt others, or you'll only experience a sense of guilt and overall the bad sides of it. on the other hand, you're an extremely captivating speaker, you'd be successful at anything that involves the use of words and voice. you're truly intuitive, and it's easy for you to understand when someone is being honest or is lying to you. last but not least, you're very secretive as well. you're probably the type to know everything and anything about others, while you remain a mystery.

❤️ venus in scorpio, 7° / 1st decan ruled by pluto

this placement is extremely intense; you have very high standards when it comes to love. you're a passionate, loyal lover, but at the same times you also want and need a lover that is willing to go as far as you go with your feelings. you may often test your partner to see if they're worthy of your love, for example. you have this sort of self-destructive behaviour that makes people stressed, just because you have extreme trust issues and you feel the need to control everyone, especially if 'everyone' is your lover. you find yourself being more attracted to 'darker' types; that is, you may be into bad boys, someone with an edgy / grunge aesthetic. I've noticed that many scorpio venus individuals have a thing for people wearing leather jackets, for example. you're probably into the idea of that passionate, even kinky love, despite being quite afraid of opening up to others. you despise too much intimacy, especially since you may often attract and / or fall for self-centered players that don't care about the intensity and purity of your feelings. as I've already mentioned above, you may have a few trust issues that lead you into being extremely jealous and / or possessive. you could even get quite stalker-ish at times, but in the best way possible of course. that isn't because you want to take over your partner's life, but you need to feel secure and understand whether you're dedicating your time and your heart to the right person or you're just wasting yourself. a betrayal would hurt you deeply, as you'd literally die for the one you love.

scorpio venus opposite aries saturn: you feel unable to love someone, or perhaps you pressured from others to hide your love, maybe it's your shyness or it could as well be other factors. this placement usually brings fear of committing, causing the individual to be flaky. there are two possibilities; I assume you directly avoid to get into relationships. your mind may unconsciously repress any thought about an eventual crush or love interest. it is caused by your insecurity, especially regarding your looks. or perhaps, it’s the other way around: you literally jump into relationships, resulting in you getting hurt from time to time. you could feel pressured to be in a relationship, even though it’s not your priority. this is something that is mainly caused by insecurity, whether you realize it or not, even though it's something that will get better with time, especially since you have a stellium in the transformative scorpio. don’t be afraid of not being enough, because you are. but if you don’t realize it first, others won’t. you have to be your own healer, you’re totally capable of doing that.

☄️ mars in virgo, 14° / 2nd decan ruled by mercury and saturn

your life revolves around being productive. you don't like to waste your time, you always try to learn and gain something useful from everything you do. that's caused by the fact that you're motivated to be perfect in what you like; this, combined with your competitive nature, may often cause you to burn out. in fact, the downside to this placement is that you may overwork yourself too much. this is bad, especially considering your heavy water dominance: your pisces moon is all about imagination, creativity, sleep, dreams... if you work too much, you don't have time to travel with your mind, and that's a serious issue for a pisces. in fact, it may be hard for you to endure too much hard work. you're capable of achieving your goals, but in order to do that you also need a break from time to time.

virgo mars opposite pisces jupiter: you easily come off as more assertive and arrogant than you actually are. you say things impulsively, and sometimes you’re too blunt and hurt people’s feelings. you don’t do it on purpose, though, there’s no malice behind your acts; it’s just your natural way to express your opinions. you’re also very competitive, and this may make you look selfish. on a positive side, you probably have a naturally nice body (or maybe you react fast to diet/workout). you’re a risk-taker, and if you’re not you should try breaking the rules sometimes (obviously not doing illegal stuff lol). in fact, it’s when you’re both physically and mentally active that you’re able to come up with even better ideas, as you’re full of creativity. to cope with this placement, you can try doing something fun to challenge your mind, basically get out of your comfort-zone. of course you don’t have to overdo it, but it would be beneficial.

virgo mars square sagittarius pluto: with this placement, I assume that when you were younger you were some sort of victim. you could have been bullied, for example, you used to be insecure about the way you looked and were. you could have felt different from others, and they took advantage of that to make you feel even more insecure. or maybe, it was a parent, or every authoritative figure in your life, that restricted you from following your own ideals. because of that, now you constantly feel the need to prove yourself. you probably tend to accumulate a lot of anger all together, which you need to let all out or you could explode. you could find comfort in physical ways to relieve stress, like punching bags, slamming doors, etc. or perhaps, when you're angry you just get overwhelmed by all of your emotions. you may cry, scream, even throw up in certain cases. on the other hand, you are extremely magnetic and attractive to others, you naturally draw people towards you. you're also extremely passionate in whatever you do, you put your whole heart in doing things you love. you're very hard-working and determined to achieve your goals, and I find this beneficial considering that your pisces energy tends to make one superficial. with this aspect, you're probably more dedicated than the common aquarius rising / pisces moon, especially since you also have your mars in the productive virgo.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in aquarius. you’re very electric and noticeable, you probably appear as someone quite edgy too. it’s hard for you to blend into society, and hence you may end up not having many close friends, especially during your early years. in fact, you may find yourself befriending people with your same interests, it’s very important for you. you may have frequent mood swings, and you could get nervous quite easily. you probably despise authority, in fact you’re quite reckless yourself, but in life you need to understand that it is often necessary for the world. with the ruler of the 1st house in the 1st house, you have big goals for your future, they’re basically the centre of your life, it revolves around your goals and achievements. you’re naturally charismatic, you may develop a high sense of worth as you grow up. you may also be very attached to your image, you may take lots of care of it.

your 2nd house is in pisces. your relationship with money may not be totally stable; you may get distracted easily, and you could lose your money around. you could be quite messy, overall, or in general, this is usually a placement that indicates sudden money loss. this placement also confirms that your self-esteem isn’t stable either; you could be quite insecure, and you may idealize a lot the way you look. for example, you could think that you have an ugly nose when it’s actually the opposite. same goes for your belongings; you may think that you have saved loads of money, you spend them, and then you realize you didn’t really have much. the moon is also placed in this house, together with jupiter: this placement makes you naturally lucky when it comes to making money. you may end up pursuing a career that is well-paid, or perhaps you're good at managing money, accumulating wealth with time. the moon here could make you a little materialistic, you may be the type to show your affection through gifts for example. your emotional state may also reflect your finances, hence if you're wealthy, you're also stress-free and viceversa. the ruler of the 2nd house is in the 12th house: you could increase your self-esteem through spiritual outlets. for example, getting to know more about your soul purpose, or even about your birth chart, can literally boost your sense of worth. perhaps, even through charity work, or even by helping the world in general. you could also make money from yoga, meditation and spirituality in general.

your 3rd house is in aries. when you communicate, you take a lot of pride in your opinions. you hate admitting that you’re wrong, especially since you’re a perfectionist. you could be quite impulsive, and you may speak with a naturally loud tone of voice. you’re extremely good at coming up with plans easily, even though you may have troubles sticking to them, as your fiery nature gets easily bored. you also have saturn in the third house; this placement is quite tricky, like every saturn placement after all. perhaps, when you were younger you could have started speaking later than other kids, or perhaps you used to stutter. you were slower when it comes to speaking and thinking, and you could have been picked on for it. nowadays, this energy may project in a struggle to speak your mind. you have very innovative ideas, but you tend to keep them for yourself, and if you do share your opinion with others, you may often get in troubles for the way you speak. the ruler of the 3rd house is in the 8th house: your self-growth process happens when you’re able to stay by yourself and explore your own mind, you probably think a lot. you also love learning about psychology in general, spirituality, etc. actually, you may even be skilled at reading tarots, birth charts, or at least you have the potential to be good at it.

your 4th house is in taurus. your childhood probably wasn’t turbulent, unless for those topics I talked about in the sun section. it was mostly quite peaceful, and you probably were able to express your creativity. maybe, your parents were a bit strict or over-protective, possibly materialistic too, but that's it, nothing traumatic. the ruler of the 4th house, venus, is in the 9th house: you might have moved in a different country when you were younger, you have a different culture / religion from your birth place. also, you might as well be able to speak one or more foreign languages. your parents may be from another country too, or perhaps you have a foreign name / surname. you could also have foreign ancestors.

your 5th house is in gemini. you feel able to express yourself and your creativity through communication and media. probably, when you were a child you used to love puzzles. your have tons of hobbies, and they are all quite different from each other. they have the goal to stimulate your mind in some way, so for example if you read a book, it has to be about something interesting for you, that allows you to open your mind and also that teaches you something. mars is also located in this house: to recharge yourself, relax and fun are essential for your wellness. if you don’t dedicate some time in your daily routine to nurturing your hobbies, or even just watching a tv show or hanging out with your friends, you don’t function correctly. because of that, I’d suggest you to pursue a career that involves your passions. so for example, if you like taking pictures you could become a photographer. this is confirmed by the fact that the ruler of the 5th house in the 10th house; in fact, you'll most likely make a career out of an hobby of yours. for example, let's suppose you like learning languages as an hobby, you may become a translator. or in general, you're going to pursue a career that involves creativity in some way.

your 6th house is in cancer. you may find yourself often having diseases around the stomach area, you may tend to bloat often for example. this placement also indicates that there might be someone in your family that works in the health field, hence there could be a surgeon, a nurse, a therapist, a nutriotionist, a vet, etc. you may choose a career that allows you to work from home as well, or perhaps you may work with children, families or houses in general. you may even end up following the same steps of your family and pursue their same career, or perhaps you may end up working with someone from your family or even just childhood in general. the ruler of the 6th house is in the 2nd house: you may earn money from helping people in any way. this placement obviously makes great doctors of any kind, but you may even heal through creative outlets for example. you may become a musician and heal people through your music, you could be a writer who heals people with his books and poems, and so on.

your 7th house is in leo. in love, you crave attention and being spoiled with care. in a partner, you’re extremely picky; you care about everything, from personality to looks. yet, this is another placement that indicates that you’re particularly loyal and protective. you want to be the centre of your partner’s attention, they must only dedicate their heart to you. ironically, you tend to attract quite selfish, self-centered people who want to be in the spotlight just like you. on the other hand, if you’re patient enough to satisfy their needs, they’ll be extremely supportive, loyal and affectionate with you. with the ruler of the 7th house, the sun, being in the 9th house, your future spouse may most likely be foreign. you may meet directly abroad, or perhaps he's a polygot, he may speak different languages, he may have a different culture from yours... this person may even be a traveller, and he may have major sagittarius placements. possibly, you may even meet him in university, as the 9th house is also about higher education and school.

your 8th house is in virgo. you use a practical approach when it comes to intimacy, you may struggle to let go around others, especially with the prominent scorpio / pluto dominance that you have in your chart. you’re extremely secretive, you hardly ever talk about yourself, and you may even despise being too exposed. you’d rather stay by yourself, in fact you have a very mysterious vibe to your aura. also, with virgo in the 8th house, you may feel so tied to a schedule, to a plan, that you lack flexibility. you're too logical, even though deep down you have this intuition that you can't fully express. on the other hand, while this makes it hard for you to get closer to your spiritual, higher self, you're extra good at handling situations here on the earth. for example, you may handle money very well if you're well-organized. transformation in your life happens when you're able to stimulate your logical mind to earn awareness of your problems. to make it simple, you may often not realize your mistakes yourself, others have to let you notice, but thanks to your heavy plutonian energy in your chart you're able to solve your problems by your own. in addition, mars is also placed in this house: this placement enhances your scorpio features. your action is oriented towards discovering, you go beyond what people usually understands. you give all of yourself in what you care about, you’re extremely passionate and resolute to achieve your goals, especially since your mars is in virgo. one thing to point out is that the 8th house brings lots of karma to the planets placed in this house. therefore, it could be that during your early years, you might’ve had a hard time dealing with anger, or figuring out your sexuality. luckily, as you grow mature, you’ll get naturally better and stress-free.

your 9th house is in libra, with also your sun and venus placed there. your beliefs and life philosophies were shaped by the outside world. that doesn’t mean you’re basic; you just don’t look enough in yourself, you prefer taking inspiration from others. e.g, if you see everyone wearing pink, then you start wearing pink too. there’s nothing wrong with that of course, especially if it’s about shallow matters, not like politics for example. yet, if you don’t, try to find out your sincere opinion in yourself. in fact, when you realize that you don’t feel attached to a certain topic or opinion, you just leave it behind and seek other truth. you hate being told what to do, you want to be free in the decisions you make. the sun here makes you extremely open-minded! you probably hardly ever have prejudices, you don’t judge a book from its cover, as you are very supportive of others. you probably despise racism, homophobia and any kind of discrimination that doesn’t bring justice. you may also be particularly interested in studying, especially philosophy, literature, but also foreign cultures. you could be skilled or at least interested in foreign languages as well. regarding venus, you may find yourself being more attracted to foreigners, and you may actually end up marrying a foreigner. or perhaps, you tend to fall for unavailable people; that is, your crushses may live far from you, or perhaps they’re already taken. something of this kind.

your 10th house is in scorpio. you may have a reputation for looking mysterious, as you’re probably not very sociable. you’re extremely motivated to achieve your goals, even though you may feel lost and confused due to your retrograde saturn. you’ll pursue a career that involves looking for the truth, hence you may be a detective, a scientist, a poet etc. overall, once you find your true vocation, you’ll have no problems working, even though it may take you a while to find the right job for you due to your midheaven being in scorpio. you also have mercury placed in this house; you have a reputation for being smart and intelligent, you may have a witty intellect that people acknowledge you for. you may also be a smooth talker, you have a way with words, especially since your mercury is in the persuasive sign of scorpio. this is also another placement that indicates that you may eventually pursue a career that has to do with speaking, thinking, teaching... you may work as a translator, an interpreter, a teacher, a professor... anything that has to do with communicating a message, probably a meaningful message to help society.

your 11th house is in sagittarius. your friends may be very open-minded, and you might have met them in school. they could also come from a different cultural background, or maybe they’re directly from abroad. at first, you struggled to make friends, as you were very secretive. with time, you’re learning to trust people and to transform and grow up through them. overall, you find yourself at ease when you’re with them, you’re particularly fond of your friendships as they play a big role in your growth and fortune. in addition, the 11th house is also about goals, dreams and future, therefore with jupiter’s influence you may have big goals. you may want to accomplish giant, almost impossible goals, or perhaps your idea of success has to do with succeeding in education, learning as much as you can about the world that surrounds you. the ruler of the 11th house is in the 2nd house; you may earn money from your dreams, therefore you may pursue your dream career as an example. you may also have wealthy, possibly materialistic friends, or perhaps you earn money thanks / with your friends. you may have a business together, or at least if you did, you may be able to earn money.

your 12th house is in capricorn, with also neptune placed there. I feel like you’re an extremely spiritual person! especially with neptune being in its natural place. you may be able to have prophetic dreams, talk to spirits, read tarots or birth charts… anything that has to do with your higher self and world. yet, due tp capricorn’s influence in the cusp, I assume it could be hard for you to fully embrace these skills of yours. in fact, you may be a bit too pragmatic to embrace your spirituality. I think you’re already working this out since you’ve booked an astrology reading to discover more about yourself, but remember that you should definitely try to get more in touch with your soul! even doing simple stretching, meditation or yoga can help give you some space to think about your identity, your wants and your needs. you may also be a religious person or have any kinf of higher belief. the 12th house is also the house of fears, and since its cusp falls in capricorn, you may be afriad of authority, like the police for example, or anything that appears to be much bigger and more supported than you. it may also manifest in fear of not being organized, and also fear of money / success loss.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love, you attract leo, virgo, gemini, sagittarius, scorpio. your future spouse will most likely have scorpio and / or sagittarius traits or placements in their chart. they’ll be very similiar to you: passionate and extremely emotionally intelligent with strong feelings and values. your spouse, as I've already mentioned above, may possibly be foreign, and you may meet him abroad, possibly in your workplace. your children will most likely have gemini and / or virgo; they’ll be particularly witty and intelligent, either too talkative and chatty or too quiet and reflective, but they'll have strong ideas that will get them known for being mature and smart.

👶🏻 family life

your mother was very caring and affectionate with you, even though she could’ve been a bit too protective and/or materialistic. she’s probably a taurus or a libra, possibly even a scorpio or sagittarius, or she has at least some placement in those signs. your father is probably more intimidating and protective than your mother, but he may get jealous easily. he was probablt the dominant figure in your family. he’s probably a scorpio or any other water sign. if you have siblings, they’re probably aries or scorpio, possibly capricorn or aquarius too. you might fight a lot for control, especially during childhood. you’re also quite possessive of your things, but overall you also have a deep bond. even though you may argue quite a bit, you still have affection for each other, your relationship will get better with time. it could also be that your mum had an abortion for example.

📊 career

while doing your reading, I got a strong feeling that you're going to work abroad, or at least that you're going to do something related to foreign languages and / or cultures. you could possibly be good at speaking other languages, therefore you would make a perfect translator or interpreter. or maybe, you may even work as a flight attendant, you could have to travel for your job. possibly, I also see lots of writer potential in your chart; you have pisces' imagination and empathy, together with virgo's rationality and determination to achieve your goals. a perfect match! last but not least, you may even work as a healer, maybe as a therapist or nurse, or even as some sort of teacher and / or professor.

👚 fashion sense, style analysis

you may have lots of dark, edgy clothes in your wardrobe, from leather to animal prints. you could possibly also fancy velvet in your clothes. your style is mostly quite simple, but still with a touch of boldness to it that makes it look very flattering, it makes everyone stare, it stands out. as for the colors, I assume you also enjoy wearing darker shades, from dark blue, purple, burgundy… to just directly black. you could possibly be fond of total-black fits too.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life, the focus was on yourself. maybe, you had troubles with self-esteem and identity in general. you had to work hard and finally understand who you were to fulfill your past life purpose. hence, this lifetime your focus will be on the bonds you create with others. even though at first you might feel almost scared to the idea of marriage, especially having mars in the 7th house, this lifetime you're here to develop this matter. after all, you may despise love for your troubled past. with your north node in the 7th house, you're naturally lucky in love. there's nothing to be afraid of, you only need to take small steps and open your heart to someone, putting your worries and insecurities aside.

🤔 major transits analysis / november 27th

chiron is currently retrograde transiting in your 2nd house. this year, you might have been struggling with finances; perhaps, you aren't earning much, and therefore you need to save money. or perhaps, you've wasted so much money that you need to be careful and picky with what you choose to buy. or perhaps, these issues have to do with your sense of worth; you may struggle to feel confident, you may constantly look down on yourself, and combined with your natal mars being in virgo, you may judge yourself based on your achievement. a failure could be crucial for your self-esteem. in addition, the sun is transiting your 10th house this month, therefore you'll feel very attached to your reputation, to your career. you may think a lot about what career you want to pursue, the image you want to project, etc. basically, you're probably making loads of plans for the future instead of focusing on the present.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

with your water dominance, you probably have a 6th sense. you’re able to manifest what you want if you subconsciously predict it, even though it may be hard. you’d have to get in touch with your higher self to do so, and hence I would suggest you to light up some candles and meditate for a bit before manifesting, in this way it will be way more effective. you may manifest something while daydreaming, for example. or perhaps, you can also try listening to your own affirmations while you sleep, as you won’t be consciously aware of that. it’s probably the most effective way.

and this is it! thank you again for booking a reading, let me know if you have any questions :) - libramc xx

[xxyumeno]

INFORMATION

Name: Kaicho Kanji: 諧調 Meaning: harmonious melody; harmony; unity; euphony Faceclaim: Secuntus from the Abandoned Empress DOB.: Don’t know Age: Immortal Gender: Ambiguous Pronouns: zie/zim/zir/zis/zieself Height: 5’10” Weight: ??? Orientation: Merlin was here Note: Pokémon OC

PERSONALITY

Kaicho is quite indifferent toward the problem facing both Pokémon and humans a like. Seeing as not zir problem despite being birth from the last remnants of the gods that survived a war. Zie does not harbor any of the feelings these gods had before they passed on and formed zim. Which zie considered to be quite lucky. To zim it give zim the excuse to be an ass toward those (only one Legendary in particular) those keep pestering zim.

For zim to help would require too much effort on zis part. If Kaicho does help it either or of amusement or there something zie is after. As long as whatever it is can benefit zim in some kind of way zie will help. Be wary of Kaicho, because there may be some kind of ulterior motive to zir kindness if Kaicho does decide to help any one being. There are very very very rare moments when zir kindness is genuine and it only to those Kaicho consider like family which is very few.

Zir has an elegant way of speaking at times as zie noticed it tends to get on the nerves of a few. It not something zie can really changed as it was passed onto zim from one of the more polite goddesses that made up zir being. Even though zie inherited politeness it didn’t stop zim from being direct and very blunt with zir words. It just sounded a lot nicer, despite the curtness, when zie spoke. Though, zie wished zir sarcasm would be taken seriously to some degree. It will be something zie will have to work on.

Kindness exist in spades and primarily reserved for those Kaicho deems worthy of it or if see as being close like family to zim. Zie does have a fondness for small and cute things, even considering some things other would see as ugly or even grotesque. Kaicho tend to have a rathe ‘unique’ view of things when it come down to it. Zie doesn’t come with a censor either, if it is on zie mind thou shall speak it. If only to cause chaos when things seem to be too peaceful to zim.

BACKGROUND

A harmonious god born from the remnants of gods who survived a war that greatly reduced the numbers of legendries and gods on both sides. The number of Pokémon suffered as well, but not as severe as the humans who existed far lesser in numbers.

It was a strong desire to end the war before both sides perished. The respective leader of each side called an end to their fighting. The reason for the war, their fighting had long been forgotten lost to the sand of times. The war that had raged for so long had gone on for centuries. An event that neither side wanted to remember. It was agreed upon in a peace treaty that it would not exist in their shared history.

Once peace was restored between the two races. The remnant of gods that survived withdrew their presence from the world in silence leaving the running and maintenance of the world to the Legendries and their kind. Thus, the world was reset and history given a clean slate once the Legendaries realized the human gods had vanished. Little did they know…

“My name is Kaicho how may I help you Legendary known as Mew?” is how zir had introduced zieself when Mew had discovered this harmonious god when the legendary was in search for the remnants of gods who had survived the war. “Unfortunately, the remnants you are in search for are no more. They are gone and it is I who remains of them.” Kaicho would say next with a slight bow of zir head.

A problem had arose while Kaicho lived in seclusion as zie watched events from a distance. Zie knew the God of Pokémon was aware of this. “Oh, you came seeking my help when it was thou who wish not the gods to interfere in thy problem?” Kaicho would smile cheekily with zir eyes closed. “Do as you wish as this is no concern to me.” Was zir words as zie turned zir back on them.

Due to Kaicho not helping the culprit, a majority had thought vanquished during the war, escaped prosecuting at the hands of the Legendaries. With the exception of Mew who had gone to keep Kaicho company.

Once more Kaicho was called upon to handle yet another situation that zie probably wouldn’t bother with solving. Mew brought zim to the location. This time zie sighed “You do realize this god is from another world yes? That he has nothing to do with the one that escaped all those years ago, yes? If I must do something… I’ll take him to another~” with that Kaicho took the other worldly god to a goddess of sorts who arrived in this world undetected several millenniums back.

Eventually the Legendaries had stopped bothering zim after that and Kaicho was quite grateful. Though, it was mainly just one it was still quite a bother to leave his tea and books. Any problems pertaining to the war that happened ages passed did not concern Kaicho for zie was born after it had ended. Seeing as zie was the last of zir kind technically, Kaicho had to deal with it regardless.

ABILITIES

Elemental Magic: Zie has mastery over the five basic elements thanks to one of the remnants that presided over magic, witchcraft, sorcery, and etc. Though, Kaicho has a strong preference of using Air, Water, and Space the most.

Shield: When evoked it will protect zim from all physical and elemental attacks. Though, it won’t work all at once. At most zie can get two of three of these going for a shield at a time. Only one will be at full capacity while the secondary will more than like be at half what it could be if zie only focused on one. Kaicho continues to work at this, but it seems to be a slow progress without help from others.

Mental Fortitude: Kaicho has a strong mental shield/barrier around zir mind to keep psychic’s as well as psychic type Pokémon out of zir mind. If one does by chance happen to break through zir mental defense they will remain trapped in a hellish nightmare until Kaicho decides to let them go or crush their mind.

Shapeshifting: being able to take on any form and any shape that zie so desires has had it many advantages for Kaicho. Not only does it allow zim to hide from those who constantly pester zim. It also allowed zim to cause as much trouble as zie pleases just to be a thorn in their side. Thus, leading zim to develop quite a mischievous and playful side.

Creation and Destruction: Zie can do all, but create another living breathing life from thin air such as Pokémon or humans. For zie doesn’t exactly have that kind of ability to do so. This power heavily pertains to plant life and objects one can use in their everyday life. In a way this ability is in connection to zir emotion. Depending on zir emotional state Kaicho can go from creating a rain forest to destroying it in one go.

Healing: Zir healing can be quite potent from healing small cuts to regenerating lost limbs and missing organs. Due to this zie tend to keep it on the download as zie does not wish to be hounded when it comes to healing others. More so when it come to the first generation. There is a small bit of leeway for the younger and current generation of Pokémon.

Necromancy: As proficient as zie is with it. Kaicho doesn’t tend to use it as much due to the repercussions it could cause to zim and zir body. The spirits of the dead tend to visit zim on quite an often basis for zim to keep up with current events and new happenings when zie has trouble keeping up with popular trend zieself. While trying to keep his identity as a god a secret from mortals.

NOTES

Kaicho can cook anything you ask of zim as long as zie has cooked it before. Baking on the other hand, one is lucky if zie doesn’t burn it to a crisp. Despite living among humans for a good couple hundreds of millenniums, one would think zie would have gotten the hang of baking already. Unfortunately, this one has not figured out that zie has to watch the timer when baking.

Zie grows zir own garden. Kaicho grows flowers, herbs, and vegetables and sell some of these in a small shop zie owns. Though, the location of Kaicho’s shop isn’t in one specific region, town, village, or city. Zir shop will appear as if by magic or summoned when someone need it. For it is how zie had designed zir shop, but there have been times when zir shop has appeared without that requirement being met. Thus, effectively confusing Kaicho.

When not attending to zir own shop, Kaicho can be typically found on mystical Isle of Apples. The Isle of Apples isn’t an island that is easy to find nor can it be viewed normally. The Queen and her sisters that reside on this island are the ones who deem those who are worthy to enter or even see the island. Kaicho consider zimselves lucky in this regard. It was definitely a good thing zie got along well.

The god zie had saved from an unfair execution Kaicho had befriended by chance. At first zie did not think they would get along due to God of Fire being from a completely different world than this. After learning of the god’s background zie had decided it wouldn’t hurt to try and make a friend. A genuine friend zie could confide in something Mew and the Queen of the Isle of Apples kept pestering zim about. It was from him that Kaicho learned the fun of pranking and crafting. Who knew carving little animals from apples could be so much fun?

Of all the abilities Kaicho has zie only uses Creation and Healing the most as that is how zie make their living while living among humans and Pokémon. Though, he has learned how to make zir herbal medicines and tea the old fashion way in the event some ask zim on how they make zir traditional medicine.

Kaicho is a human god, but zie is not made of the remnant of the god who created humans. Which zie consider zieself to be quite lucky. If there was any recorded history of there being a god who created human zie would more than likely be pinned as the one even zie did not.

[imaginariumpod]

For the defense of slowing down: a study of slowness in cinema.

Leisure - Poem by William Henry Davies

What is this life if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs

And stare as long as sheep or cows. 

No time to see, when woods we pass,

Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,

Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

 No time to turn at Beauty's glance,

And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can

Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this is if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

For the defense of slowing down: a study of slowness in cinema. 

This article is one that I have been meaning to write for a while and that is very important to me in a lot of ways, but also I feel like with the amount of people staying at home and who have had to slow down their pace of life one way or another in the past months, it just feels oddly relevant. A lot of people have been forced to ease the pace of their lives, and have had the time, maybe for the first time in years, to spend on things they couldn’t before. People who have been trying to take care of themselves in any way they can, by maybe learning how to cook or bake bread, maybe finally having the time to just take a nap and not feel any guilt because they aren’t productive. 

This might be more personal than usual because I feel like I really do need to put this subject in perspective to myself first, and then in perspective to the general context and climate that is shaping our world. We live in a culture where productivity is valued more than anything, where you are expected to go above and beyond, and to run yourself to the ground in the pursuit of success, of money, of efficiency. If you don't have a side project or four, it might feel like you are a bit of a failure because don’t you know you have to take advantage of every opportunities out there to make a name for yourself ? This hustle culture that is becoming predominant everywhere, but especially in western culture, is definitely a byproduct of capitalism in a way it never have been seen before. You only have to take a look in the self-help section of a bookshop or a library to feel exhausted : The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, or Ready for Anything: 52 Productivity Principles for Getting Things Done. 

While I think being a hardworking person and trying to be productive in order to achieve your goals, there’s definitely a point where it’s too much for one person to handle, and when this constant stress of needing to be successful all the time and to always go above and beyond what is needed becomes a societal expectation placed on all of us, that’s when it becomes dangerous. There’s a certain climate that is saying that we need to be constantly productive to be valuable to the system, or else, what is the point of you existing. 

And my friends. the only point is you being alive. And being content. and that’s what matters in the end. 

The point isn’t to further a corporation’s agenda, the point isn't to exhaust yourself trying to play the game of a system that is designed to fail you. The point is that, maybe, someday, you wake up a bit earlier than usual, and you drink your tea in a world that is still quiet and peaceful. The point is, maybe that you feel safe, that you feel content, that you feel loved, and you have the time to just breathe. 

And to just be. 

Take a breath. 

So most of my friends know this, but I feel like I need to share this to give my proper perspective on this subject. Before finishing my Bachelor’s degree in Art History, I had previously done two years in architectural design. It seemed like a good idea at the time, it was a creative endeavor that seemed fulfilling and yet also a smart move practically speaking. I wanted to be able to find a job after finishing university, and maybe continuing on to grad school to eventually become an architect. That was the initial plan when I was 20 and started university. Fresh-eyed, full of hope and determination. 

Those two years were a nightmare. 

To sum up really quickly, I was so stressed and anxious, I ended up having constant panic attacks and breakdowns for a whole month, every single day of that month, which made me take the difficult decision to give up on that degree. I had an actual burnout before my 22nd birthday and had to take a full year off to recover from this. 

I think it’s then, that I truly was hit by how dangerous fatigue and exhaustion could end up being, both mentally and physically. How, when pushed by the constant pressure to perform and to catch up to a standard that keeps rising, and to a speed that keeps getting faster and faster, one is bound to crack at some point. The stress and anxiety that this puts on people can easily get to be too much to handle. That year off, being forced to slow down, to reconnect with myself and with who I am and with what I wanted from life  really was one of the most beneficial things to me and I just wanted to give a bit of my story to make you understand where I am personally coming from, when it comes to slowing down, and to slowing the pace of life. Unfortunately, most of us have a story that resembles this in some way shape or form. I know I was incredibly lucky to be able to take that year off, and it's a privilege many of us might not be able to have.

So this is why  I think i can say, that for a lot of us, we are just tired. We are so tired.  I know I am exhausted. Life can just be so tiring, there’s this really fine line between being productive and having an active life and being run to the ground. It’s a fine line that a lot of us thread, and it can get overwhelming very easily.  Indeed, «life has become fast-paced, as people try to live up to these expectations. Yet, while many people might be materially affluent, their quality of life and work-life balance are often unsatisfactory, and potentially lead to stress and burnout (Schor, 1998).»  I feel that especially for the current modern life experience, a lot of us can relate to that, in ways it may not have been felt before in previous generations. Time has always been precious, but it just feels like there’s never enough hours in the day to be able to finish all the things you want to do. 

The luxury of time. Time to do nothing. 

It might seem that we have more time,  but  «that free time is used to cram more activities into the day and to travel further to work». Which means that we are all trying to  manage to do everything at once, whether it’s working, and trying to continue learning, and needing to keep yourself in shape, and to keep your space clean, and also needing to keep a social life, and sleeping well, and etc and etc. It feels like you always have to do this and that and the list of expectations and goals to meet is never ending and constantly adding up. Indeed, «it is not just free time that people desire, but more time for meaningful things».  You are just one person, and there’s only so much one can do before it gets to be too overwhelming. And in those moments, I think it’s important to just. Take a deep breath and Slow down. 

We need rest. we need fulfillment. I think there’s a lot of disenchantment toward modern life, by the dream that have been sold to us since we were young. Just work harder and you’ll make it. Work more hours, do more things, put yourself out there, run yourself ragged to the ground and then you will finally get what you deserve (money ! fame ! success ! love ! Family ! Friends!  ) and yet all we have is exhaustion and stress and anxiety and pain. I think this whole context has made it so that there’s a resurgence lately of an appreciation for  slower media, whether we are talking about movies, books or something else. 

I think it can be really interesting to mention the newest Animal Crossing game (Animal Crossing : New Horizons) that has been played by a lot of people since its release, which has been considered like  «the video game equivalent of a relaxing getaway — and we could all use that kind of respite right now.» Those kind of slower paced games where you have to build your own life and take care of a city, village or, in this case,  island (slow-life simulation games) let players exerce control in their island in a way they feel they might not be able to in their own live. This is a very wholesome game that players can get really engrossed into, and that can provide them with much needed relief and escapism from the troubles of real life, when things get really hard. Those type of games also need you to take things slowly, one step at a time, which I think is very interesting when we think about low-stress sources of entertainment.

 «In this, the game forces you to take it one day at a time. You can bypass this by "time traveling," or setting your Switch system clock ahead of time to advance quicker than the game intends for you to, but this isn't how it's meant to be played. You're supposed to feel a sense of slow, but meaningful progression throughout the course of your island adventure, and artificial time changes take away from that»

I could also mention the growing popularity of the cottagecore aesthetic on various social platforms such as tumblr, Instagram and twitter. While being predominantly a visual and aesthetic trend, cottagecore does reflect a  growing desire by younger people in their teens and early 20s to have simpler and slower life. Dreams of just living in a tiny house, with maybe a vegetable patch, and all of the time in the world to just bask in the sun.  As «[a]n obvious backlash to the hustle culture embodied by Fiverr ads, cottagecore attempts to assuage burnout with a languid enjoyment of life’s mundane tasks.» This aesthetic trend then seems an answer to the growing consumerism and rapid pace of life.

This seems like an unattainable fantasy to most of us, which is why I think a lot of people have been gravitating toward those aesthetics and ways of thinking and living. «It’s a romanticised idea that we could leave behind all the stress and craziness in our lives to go live off-the-grid, where emails can’t reach us and our only task is baking bread or making jam. » I know this isn’t something that everyone longs for, but to me, this sounds like a dream and something that seems like a distant hope. I do wish I could take some time off in a small cottage or mediterranean house, maybe not forever, but maybe spend a few months with the freedom of having the time to myself and using that time the way I desire. Just so one can breathe, reconnect with oneself and have enough energy to keep moving on. «Cottagecore is the perfect escape, it’s soothing and calming but it’s also relatively attainable. Maybe we can’t all go live in a cabin in the woods, wearing nothing but flowy dresses while tending to our garden of wildflowers. But we can learn to cross stitch, we can bake bread, we can buy some watercolours, we can have a picnic in our backyard.»

I am always so anxious about so many things and the only thing I want at any given moment is to have a small house and no responsibilities greater than doing the groceries and watering the plants in my garden. I think that life has gotten very hard and difficult to handle, what with the climate crisis, the political unstableness, the economical unstableness, the rise of the alt-right, and now the whole global pandemic going on, it’s easy to understand why people would feel drawn toward comforting things : « Rebecca Jennings ties a push for coziness in branding (and trends like cottagecore) to the feeling that "things are bad, and people are anxious about whatever ongoing horrors are metabolizing in geopolitics, the environment, and capitalism." »

 I want to be safe financially and fulfilled. I want to have the time and space to do the things I really want to achieve instead of giving my time away to a system that does not care about me.

I want to have the calm of heart that I have lost years ago and that I yearn to regain. 

nostalgia & aesthetic 

There's an aesthetic of nostalgia that is really present in a lot of slow living content and slow media. I don't think ANY of us want to go back in time where things weren’t better for any of us unless you maybe are a white straight cis man, and even then.... In my opinion, slow living and wanting to slow down is not a rejection of technology or modernity in itself, but inherently a rejection of capitalism. You do not have to be productive to be valuable, and to be deserving of happiness, of peace, of love and of dignity. You deserve all of that no matter how useful or not you are to the capitalist system. It’s not about going back to oppressive social norms, but moving forward from them. 

I also feel like slow living brings a self care as deeper than the shallow superficial and capitalist self care that's being sold to us.  I’m not going to deny that it feels nice to do an extensive skincare routine before sleeping, but there’s a lot to be said about a nightly ritual that makes you feel more grounded in yourself and taking care of yourself and the body you inhabit versus the gigantic capitalistic machine that is the Beauty Industry™.  The same way the simple acts of taking of yourself and taking the time to slow down can be a revolutionary act of self-love, they can also be taken advantage of and capitalized on by the huge capitalist industries that use wellness, self-care and self-love as marketing tactics. In our era, it feels simply impossible now to get away from the “treat yourself” campaign. Industries have tapped into the real desire of people to live a more meaningful and happier life by making it mostly into a trend, and not an intentional change to someone’s lifestyle to make it better. 

I am of the opinion that slowing down shouldn’t be a trend, but a very deliberate act taken in order to take care of ourselves, of our mental health and our physical health. I think it’s a very essential need that we have to not feel burnt-out and to not feel trapped and stifled by our own lives, and having the space and energy to pursue our dreams and desires.

 (Not to say the culprit is capitalism … but the culprit is capitalism) (also not to advocate for revolution on a public platform but revolution)

What I mean by slow media, and slowness in media is that content that tends to be more of the slice of life genre. They are peaceful, quiet. Maybe nothing much happens at all, but it rings very true and very real. Those moments of calm are soothing when maybe the rest of my life really is not. The way someone relates to art and media is very personal and can vary a lot, but the escapism that this sort of stories provides and I feel that with the faster pace of life that has become the norm, it might become something that we seek more often than not. 

To me, this sort of media feels like relief. 

slow cinema 

Cinema has long been a medium that is very efficient at communicating epic and grandiose stories. Movies that are jam packed with action and drama and heightened emotions and tension. And while those movies can be very good and entertaining, I think there’s also a place in the world of cinema for movies that are slower. In fact, there’s a distinct genre of movies where the focus is not on a very fast paced plot or extravagant action scenes and dramatic events, but where the importance is placed on the mundane. Where the slow moments of everyday life and the quiet emotions that we all feel take precedence. It’s possible to name filmmakers such as Yasujiro Ozu or Agnes Varda.

 We could also talk about movies such as the Before Trilogy by Richard Linklater (Before Sunrise (1995), Before Sunset (2004), Before Midnight (2013)), where each movie spans a very short period of time and consists entirely of conversations between two people. Those movies are slow, ordinary and yet extraordinary in the sense that it’s two people who have found each other and are speaking and connecting. There’s nothing much that’s happening in those films, and yet it’s impactful. 

The movies made by those directors who tend to favor slower cinema often showcases a simpler plotline, but a more complex emotional arc. They are full of slow and quiet scenes, which makes those movies soothing, calming and nostalgic. 

What is slow cinema though ? in the academic sense, slow cinema is often defined as «a modern cinematic production trend that emphasizes slowness and duration of time» Even though there’s a lot of more contemporary cinematic examples of slow cinema in more experimental movies such as directors Abbas Kiarostami or Tsai Ming Liang whose movies are very much in line with what is slow cinema. When it comes to slow movies, «Flanagan writes that the stylistic features of ‘slow films’ are “the employment of (often extremely) long takes, de-centred and understated modes of storytelling, and a pronounced emphasis on quietude and the everyday,”»  The techniques used in slow-paced movies will often communicate a romanticization of everyday life, of routine, of moments that are quiet and peaceful. 

There’s a lot of emphasis put on the passage of time, whether it’s a slow drag of time, with nothing much to do, the quiet moments that punctuates our daily lives or the years passing by and the plotlines in those movies spanning years, generations and even lifetimes. I think this is one of the reason why this kind of cinema can be really relevant in our times, where we feel that time is a precious commodity that isn’t ours anymore, and where time is filled with the pressure of being constantly productive, slow cinema poses itself as the antithesis of that. 

«Slow Cinema situates itself solidly within art cinema both in aesthetic and methodology: it is defined by authorship that hinges on the representation of reality. It carries with it a disposition towards the consumption of time that forces the audience to labour through and critically engage with the film itself.»

It’s possible to see that this type of cinema is something that’s very sought after lately, as proven by this letterboxd list The Absolute Beauty in Everyday’s Mundanity, which has been liked by a total of 6,092 people at the moment of writing this article (including me). Containing 209 movies that fit into what the list maker considers as being slow movies that showcase the beauty of everyday life, this list demonstrates that there’s a very definite space for movies that have a more deliberate pace and who, instead of trying to heighten the stakes and action constantly, do take the opportunity to just. Slow down. 

An enchanted month. 

Elizabeth Von Arnim (1866-1941) was a english author active during the early 20th century. She wrote both fictional and non-fictional books, and the ones I have read from her are very in this vein of slow living, taking the time to just sit in a garden,  and let time heal you. It's from her book  Enchanted April (1922), which  is one of my favorite books and that I wholeheartedly recommend, that the consequent 1992 movie, released by the BBC, was adapted from. 

                            Von Arnim made a point to give a prevalent place in her books to the spaces where one could feel at ease and free from the constraints dictated by social norms and what people might expect from you :  «In the garden, Elizabeth von Arnim could think, reflect, and distance herself from the oppressions and duties of the highly rigid and strict German culture that she had adopted through her marriage to Count Henning von Arnim. In observing the varying seasons of nature in conjunction with an active pleasure in literature, she perceived the garden as a metaphor of her life in terms of the development of her soul, and in this context, she believed herself to be in "the process of becoming".» I think it’s possible to draw a parallel between the demands of life that are growing increasingly harder to handle. While Von Arnim puts is mostly in relation to the social norms that were in place during the 1920s, it’s possible to see that the desire for slowing down during the 2020s stem mostly from a tiredness of the ultra-capitalistic world we live in. 

The story of Enchanted April starts during a dreary month of march. Grey. Tiring. We have all went through months like these where the responsibilities and list of things to do, and slow drag of the days gets to be unbearable. Mrs Lotty Wilkins sees an a journal advert to rent a castle in Italy for a month, and under the grey drizzling London skies. And she yearns for that moment of respite. Far from her obligations, from her nagging husband and being able to take time for herself for the first time in years. 

Eventually, four immensely different women will end up in this  castle in San Salvatore, Italy, for a whole month. Each of those women have a distinctive purpose in this book, but they all seem to be looking for something similar: an escape from their frantic and boring daily life, a relief from routine, from the lack of connection and intimacy that they feel. In the midst of those charmed italian gardens, you feel like they can finally take a breath, loosen up and rest.

«She moved about with quick, purposeful steps, her long thin body held up straight, her small face, so much puckered at home with effort and fear, smoothed out»

And just reading that, or watching the movie, gives me a similar respite. The sun lits all the shots, the wind blows gently in the tree leaves, and the clothes that are worn are looser, more comfortable. This movie is charming, humorous and delightful. But most of all, it’s slow paced and soothing. You have drawn out scenes where nothing much happens but the moments are peaceful and reassuring. I rewatch it every april, because while I cannot take a month off to spend it in an isolated italian castle, oh god I Yearn So Much For It.

Even though, this story is set during the 1920s, thus being a contemporary story written by Von Arnim, I cannot help but feel that this story is one that is still deeply relevant today, in the 2020s. The thoughts of the characters seems very familiar and relatable : «For Lady Caroline Dester, the process of change is longer, more involved, and more isolated. She approaches San Salvatore with a “dream of thirty restful, silent days, lying unmolested in the sun, getting her feathers smooth again, not being spoken to, not waited on, not grabbed at and monopolized, but just recovering from the fatigue, the deep and melancholy fatigue, of the too much”»

In Enchanted April, this month in Italy is a moment of quiet rest for these four women, bt also a time dedicated to oneself and to introspection.  «Initially, each woman desires to be alone for long stretches of time: Mrs Fisher in her room, Lady Caroline in a chair in the top garden, and Mrs Wilkins and Mrs Arbuthnot in the gardens and hills. Each is free to reflect on her life and begin to have a clearer understanding of herself in relation to others. »   

A late afternoon: 

Yasujiro Ozu (1903-1963)  is one of the prominent filmmakers in Japan during the first half of the XXth century. His movies had a very distinct style and technique to them that made his work really unique to himself. A lot of filmmakers tried to replicate or imitate the stylisation of his work, but there was something in Ozu’s work that was very particular to the period of cinema he lived in. He was active from the later half 1920s until his untimely passing on his birthday in 1963. This means he lived through the Second World War as well as through a time of great change and evolution in the world. 

It’s possible to write a hundred pages on Yasujiro Ozu alone because there’s a lot to say about him and his movies, whether it’s about the narrative and the story he chose to portray or the techniques and stylisation that characterize what is an Ozu movie.  I thought it was relevant to mention him when talking about slower movies and slower paced media,  because of the impact that he had on film, especially when it comes to using the medium to tell stories of lost and quiet moments. 

With the increased modernity and a rapidly changing world, Ozu’s films, such as Tokyo Story ( 1953), Late Spring (1949) and Floating Weeds (1959) tried to capture the very modern life he and his contemporary were experiencing and the way they dealt with these changes. Even though Ozu’s movies were particularly specific to a certain period and country, it’s indeed impossible to disassociate Ozu’s movies from the fact that they were made in Japan, and that Ozu went through the pre-war, war and post-war era and continuously made movies during these times. 

Which means that his films do reflect a certain time in Japanese history which makes them incredibly specific and contemporary to the society he lived in. «However, I believe that the film is less about articulating the value of modernity against the challenge of tradition than observing the subtle state whereby the former unknowingly pervades the latter. In this sense, rather than the overt manifestation of free movement outside of the home, the trivial motion inside the confined domesticity are a more essential element in Ozu’s films. In other words, in Ozu, modernity exists within the everyday, a stable flow that undulates but hardly overflows.» Nonetheless, the issues and subjects tackled in those movies, such as intergenerational conflict, the difficulty that people have to catch up with a world with values that are rapidly changing, and modernity. Those problems are a universal experience, but were communicated in a unique lense through Yasujiro Ozu’s movies. 

The focus of most of Ozu’s films is centered around the familial unit, and the conflicts and moments that arise between them as life moves forward. The everyday moments in a world that gets harder to navigate each day. The story of a daughter who is pressured to married, and the dilemma and conflicts between the societal expectations that people have of her, her own wants and needs and also the desire to be able to strike a balance between those two elements. I think that this, while not being necessarily being a universal experience, can still be an incredibly relatable one. 

Once she gets married, she needs to move forward with her life and leaves her widowed father to live alone, which really showcases the simple and universal realities of real life. The plotlines of Ozu’s movies focus on simple and universal conflicts and problems, the stories he tells through those movies are nonetheless things that are universal and. the way he presents them are beautiful, quiet and, most importantly, real. «More broadly, Ozu’s omission of important events also speaks to his interest in the mundane, his desire to uncover the emotional nuances within small talk, daily routines, and other “boring” details of everyday life.» 

There are quiet moments of silence, of rain falling while someone is folding clothes or eating. Laughter and companionships. Tears and pain and love and hurt and all of the very important emotions that compose the human experience.   «the great filmmaker used to evoke a sense of melancholy and poetry in everyday existence.» which is something that truly is a balm to the soul in my own humble opinion. There’s a lot of vulnerability in this slowness, a very real sadness and emotionality that is very raw and yet mundane in its encompassing universality of the human experience.

The stylistic choices that Ozu decides to take all tend toward this one goal of showcasing the quiet movement of life, while hinting at the tumultuous feelings that people might feel, and the world around them. His movies were simple and slow but very meaningful as well. «Ozu’s films often violate the stylistic conventions of mainstream filmmaking. For example, one “rule” in classical Hollywood cinema is that every shot should clearly and obviously advance the narrative. Yet Ozu’s films frequently feature what commentators call “pillow shots” – namely, shots of landscapes, objects, or interiors that have no apparent connection to the protagonists and what they’re doing plotwise.»

His movies focus on the relationships between people and the world they inhabit, and the growing modernity, and also capitalism, of it. «As you’ll quickly come to see, Ozu is hardly a fan of modernity. In films like The Only Son, Late Spring, Late Autumn, and An Autumn Afternoon, he suggests, among other things, that economic modernization has engendered inequality, feelings of alienation, empty consumerism, and the Americanization of Japanese life.» Those feelings of alienation that we currently feel toward our own lives, our own time and our own time are very relevant for us in 2020. While I do think that those movies represent a certain time and a certain context, and you cannot talk about Yasujiro Ozu without really contextualizing both him and his work, I think it can be really relevant to today. Ozu made movies for himself and for the society he lived in  but that doesn't mean that those movies can’t still be important today.

Ozu did impact international cinema, as can be seen for exemple with the movies of Wes Anderson, as seen in this visual essay that compares their body of work.  both narratively and stylistically. I won’t go into more details about Anderson here, because he is  one of my favorite directors and i hope to write an entire article on him soon, but i thought it was relevant to mention this. Most importantly, Yasujiro Ozu left an imprint on  japanese cinema that can still be seen to this day in contemporary movies. I could mention filmmakers such as Naoko Ogigami, with movies such as Rent-a-cat (2012), Close-Knit (2017) and Kamome Diner (2006), all movies that have a decidedly slower pace and kinder vibe to them. Hayao Miyazaki and the movies Studio Ghibli produced also are an example of that slower cinema, but we’ll touch upon this a bit further down the line. 

(rent-a-cat [2012] d. Naoko Ogigami)

a little world of our own 

With this in mind, it’s easy to see that there’s a sub-genre of japanese cinema that really make a concerted effort at incorporating the concepts of slowness in their stories, whether it's the slower pace of the story or actual slow living principles. Those movies often address the fantasy of leaving everything behind (your work, your problems, your issues, your sadness) to go live in a small town or quitting your job to follow your dreams, or simply to feel like your time is yours again. This list on letterboxd which showcases many movies of that genre in japanese cinema (currently 157 movies on date of writing this article) 

A good example of this type of stories would be the duology of  the Little Forest movies, as well as the subsequent korean adaptation in 2018. These movies were both adapted originally from a manga by Daisuke Igarashi.  Little Forest : Summer/Autumn (2014) and Little Forest : Winter/Spring (2015) follow the story of a young woman who leaves her busy city life to go back to her hometown and decides to live in a slower way, taking care of her vegetables and living according to the seasons.  The two movies are infinitely slow, focusing on the main character cooking, resting, eating, and eventually resolving the conflict that she has with her mother. The life she lives in these secluded parts seems uneventful but happy and calm which seems all that she desires. She doesn’t need to contribute to the capitalist system of society to be deserving of being able to live in peace, and this makes her feel less alienated from the world she lives in. 

Spirited away

I also don’t think it’s really possible to mention slower moments of everyday life in cinema without talking about the movies that probably were the first introduction to this for many of us. The movies of Studio Ghibli, with Hayao Miyazaki at the helm of it, are little masterpieces of animation. The movies are intended for a younger audience but can be appreciated by everyone. Studio Ghibli movies are another example of filmmaking that manages to capture this slower pace in media. Between all of the adventures and events that are happening in those movies, there are moments of slowness. Of calm. Of quietness.

As Robert Ebert told to Miyazaki, during an interview with him « I told Miyazaki I love the "gratuitous motion" in his films; instead of every movement being dictated by the story, sometimes people will just sit for a moment, or they will sigh, or look in a running stream, or do something extra, not to advance the story but only to give the sense of time and place and who they are.» Miyazaki proceeded to explain what this concept was for him  «"We have a word for that in Japanese," he said. "It's called ma. Emptiness. It's there intentionally."» Those slow moments between the action are very deliberate, to slow down the story and to slow down the pace. Contrary to the generally accepted school of thought in modern Hollywood cinema, which is that every single scene needs to move the story forward, Miyazaki lets his story and movies breathe. This way of building the story gives it an added sense of calm and soothingness, but also it gives it another sense of realism. Instead of following a strict narrative outline, this fluidity makes the story feel more real and relatable.

Despite being an animated movie set in a very obviously fantastical universe, Studio Ghibli movies tend to be very realistic in the way they portray the characters, their complexity, and also what are the real underlying conflicts. For example, in Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989) «The primary conflict isn’t about magic—it’s internal and invisible and wholly human: Kiki’s brief period of lost motivation and artist’s block. She gets it back when she wants to help Tombo, whom she loves. Simple as that. She doesn’t have to wage an epic battle to prove her worth»  The stakes might seem lower in this movie, very mundane and ordinary but I think this is what makes it so special. 

The quiet moments and details that might seem innocuous and useless at first and slower the pace of the movie in itself, are ultimately what gives it this feeling of genuineness. It lets the characters and the plot have the space to evolve and to grow. 

« Although these scenes may seem slow or unimportant, they give space to develop the characters and to heighten dreams or feelings the characters are having such as feelings of isolation, wonder, or anxiety. It is in these moments of stillness that the audience can contemplate with the characters and feel what the characters are feeling. These moments remind the audience the importance of stillness in such a fast paced world and highlights the beauty of a slower paced life»

Studio Ghibli movies insert those slower moments in between more faster paced and action packed scenes but also in the midst of world-changing events such as wars, as shown in Howl’s Moving Castle (2004). This demonstrate how people still live on during those crises, even with the danger looming over their heads. Which is something that I think can be very relevant in today’s time where the past twenty years have been increasingly more unstable and the … few months of 2020 were a Shit Show in itself, if you want my opinion. So this kind of media gives me hope that we can live through this, that moments of happiness and peace are still to be found.

A charmed life

Slower cinema is something that has existed for as long as cinema existed, but I do think that it’s a very current feeling to want to be able to slow down the pace of our lives, and be able to enjoy time in a more meaningful way. Personally, I know life has gotten ridiculously hectic for me in the past two years, and while there’s a lot I always want to be doing and I’m very happy about how my life is coming together, this doesn’t mean that sometimes, it doesn’t feel Very Overwhelming and alienating to constantly feel the need to be productive. What we can bring to the capitalist system isn’t what determine the worth and value of who we are as people. «"As speed is seemingly equated with efficiency and professionalism, however, slowness can become a way of signaling an alternative set of values or a refusal to privilege the workplace over other domains of life.”» I hope to be able to live my life on my own term and to be able to spend time on things that are important to me and feel like my time is my own.

Slow media is everywhere lately, whether it’s in cinema, books, games, but also in a more broader sense with the slow life movements, the minimalist trends, but also a general awareness of sustainability, the amount of mass production and mass consumerism in our modern world. 

In order to sustain that fast pace of constant production of things, you inevitably have to sacrifice on either the quality of the product, the work conditions  or on the materials in order to be able to keep up with the extremely high rhythm sustained by capitalism. It can also be compared to the fast work pace imposed on people who work on the sets of movies or video games for example. I think we all heard of the debacle with the Sonic (2020) movie as well as Cats (2019) and the pressure that was put upon the vfx artists to re-do the movie and complete it extremely fast, which brought poor working conditions on them.

Slowing down is, in my opinion, of the utmost importance for us to be able to live better, but also to be able to do better things. To have better working conditions, to be able to have a better craftsmanship, people having more time to do things and do them better instead of scrambling to constantly catch up to a production rhythm that is just simply way too fast. This ties in with the environmental aspect of slowing down, because if you take more time to make things that are of a better quality and that will last for a long time, there won’t be such a  need for a constant production of those things but unfortunately that’s capitalism Babey. 

a quiet respite

Ultimately, the act of slowing down and taking a stand against the fast pace imposed on us by the constraints of capitalism is a very personal one, but I think it's worth considering. And when it’s not possible to actually slow down, I hope those movies and these slower medias can give you a respite even if life isn’t giving you much of one. I do think that having the opportunity to meaningfully slow down the pace of your life, and taking the time to think, breathe, and reconnect with the more mundane parts of your life can be beneficial, especially when there’s a constant pressure to perform and to excel in this fast-paced modern life.

I just hope we can try to take care of ourselves deeply, connect with ourselves but also with each other. We need time to feel, breathe and actually live and not just beat to the drum of a corporation and of this sadistic capitalist system who will never care for you.  Corporations do not want you to slow down and they want to get your money by any means necessary, which we have obviously witnessed a lot during this Global Pandemic. Which is why I think there's a real pushback against this fast pace of life and the mass consumerism, by slowing down, 

On this note, i hope you appreciated the article, i hope you are taking care of yourself during those hard times and i hope the media you are consuming is something that makes you feel better, and i hope you don't put too much pressure on yourself. 

please just breathe. hopefully it will be okay.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Slow Life & Slow Cinema : 

Matthew Flanagan. 'Slow Cinema': Temporality and Style in Contemporary Art and Experimental Film. University of Exeter as a thesis for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in English in October 2012.

ZEESTRATEN, J.  Strolling to the beat of another drum: Living the ‘Slow Life’, Master’s Thesis, Lincoln University, 2008.  <https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/e0c6/f533e7d8f9254eddbadc0fe6dbb7d4a5ea8c.pdf > 

SCREENING BOREDOM THE HISTORY AND AESTHETICS OF SLOW CINEMA Orhan Emre Çağlayan. A Thesis submitted for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in Film Studies University of Kent February 2014

ELSON, Logan. Slow Cinema Modality: Applying Bordwell to Tsai Ming-Liang,  Trent University, JUST, Vol. V, No. 1, 2017

LAVIN, Mathias. Prolonger Ozu, avec Kiarostami, Akerman, Hong Sang-Soo.

FLANAGAN, Matthew. Towards an Aesthetic of Slow in Contemporary Cinema, 16:9, 2020 <http://www.16-9.dk/2008-11/side11_inenglish.htm>

RASSOS, Effie. Everyday Narratives Reconsidering Filmic Temporality and Spectatorial Affect through the Quotidian, A Thesis Submitted in Fulfilment of the Requirements for the Degree of Doctor of Philosophy School of Media, Film and Theatre University of New South Wales August 2005

LETTERBOXD. The Absolute Beauty in Everyday’s Mundanity. Hungkat, 2020. <https://letterboxd.com/kun/list/the-absolute-beauty-in-everydays-mundanity/>

LETTERBOXD. A Slice of Japanese Life. Seraphimjc, 2020.  <https://letterboxd.com/seraphimjc/list/a-slice-of-japanese-life>/

Enchanted April:

BOLLARD, Jennifer Jane. The Felicitous Space of Elizabeth von Arnim,  Master’s Thesis, University of Canterbury Christchurch,  New Zealand,  1995 ,  <https://ir.canterbury.ac.nz/bitstream/handle/10092/11887/Bollard_thesis.pdf;sequence=>

VON ARNIM, Elizabeth. Enchanted April,  Waking Lion Press, 2008 (first published 1922)

YOUNG, Katie Elizabeth. More than "Wisteria and Sunshine": The Garden as a Space of Female Introspection and Identity in Elizabeth von Arnim' s The Enchanted April and Vera, Master’s Thesis. Brigham Young University, 2011. < https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=4032&context=etd>

Yasujiro Ozu:

The Cinema Cartography,  Yasujirō Ozu - The Depth of Simplicity, Youtube video, 2015 <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2G7oeyOsfSg>

JOO, Woojeong, The flavour of tofu : Ozu, history and the representation of the everyday. PhD thesis, University of Warwick, 2011.

BETH, Suzanne. Destruction, puissance et limites du cinéma dans les films d'Ozu Yasujirô, Doctorate Thesis, Université de Montréal, 2015.  <https://papyrus.bib.umontreal.ca/xmlui/bitstream/handle/1866/13600/Beth_Suzanne_2015_these.pdf?sequence=2&isAllowed=y>

EMERSON, Andrew.  The Beginner’s Guide: Yasujiro Ozu, Director, The Film Inquiry, 2019

<https://www.filminquiry.com/beginners-guide-yasujiro-ozu/>

Criterion. The Signature Style of Yasujiro Ozu. On film. 2015 <https://www.criterion.com/current/posts/3836-the-signature-style-of-yasujiro-ozu>

  Thompson, pp. 19-20, 327-331; David Bordwell, Ozu and the Poetics of Cinema (Princeton: Princeton University Press, 1988), pp. 73-74.

CATLEY, Anna. Wes Anderson & Yasujiro Ozu: A Visual Essay, Youtube, 2015.  <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbXRpiVO1po >

Little Forest:

SREEKANDAN, Nikhil , Little Forest: Film Review , The Inkline, 2018. <https://the-inkline.com/2018/06/17/little-forest-film-review/>

https://snackfever.com/blogs/magazine/a-refreshing-cool-breeze-found-in-the-little-forest

Studio Ghibli:

EBERT, Robert. Hayao Miyazaki interview. 2002. <https://www.rogerebert.com/interviews/hayao-miyazaki-interview>

The Magic and Artistry of Studio Ghibli’s Films, The Artifice, 2017 <https://the-artifice.com/magic-artistry-studio-ghibli-films/>

JAREMKO-GREENWOLD, Anya. The Low-Stakes Pleasure of Kiki’s Delivery’s Service. on Birth, Movies, Death, 2017. <birthmoviesdeath.com/2017/07/18/the-low-stakes-pleasure-of-kikis-delivery-service>

STEY, George Andrew.. Elements of Realism in Japanese Animation, Master’s Thesis, University of Ohio, 2009. <https://etd.ohiolink.edu/!etd.send_file?accession=osu1250700496&disposition=inline>

Cottagecore:

SKELLEY, Jemima. Cottagecore Is the Soothing Online Aesthetic We All Need Right Now, The Latch, 2020. <https://thelatch.com.au/cottagecore-aesthetic/>

HAASCH, Palmer. People online are flocking to 'cottagecore,' an online aesthetic that idealizes agricultural life, to calm their hyper-stimulated nerves, The Insider, 2020. <https://www.insider.com/cottagecore-isolation-aesthetic-tumblr-explained-social-distancing-2020-4>

SLONE, Isabel. Escape Into Cottagecore, Calming Ethos for Our Febrile Moment, New York Times, 2020. < https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/10/style/cottagecore.html>

animal crossing: 

VINCENT, Britanny. Find fulfillment in Animal Crossing New Horizons' slice-of-life gameplay, CNN underscored., 2020https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/30/cnn-underscored/animal-crossing-new-horizons-review/index.html

WEBSTER, Andrew. ANIMAL CROSSING: NEW HORIZONS IS A CHILL, CHARMING LIFE SIM THAT PUTS YOU IN CONTROL, The Verge, 2020.  <https://www.theverge.com/2020/3/16/21179238/animal-crossing-new-horizons-review-nintendo-switch-features>

[faustrinus]

Nail Polish

Habits aren't something easy to form, especially when they start to happen after some traumatizing experience. But the way Sirius walked across the corridors of the Potters house, how he sat comfortably on the sofa, how he ate with the rest of the family...it was a new habit, yes, but it felt normal, right. He had never felt that cozy even at his own home with his own family, or what used to be his family because after he ran away from that hell, he knew that he wasn't a Black anymore, they would forget his name and the brave sacrifices that he did for his little brother, the only thing that would remind his in those dark walls would be the incinerated photo that claimed to be his whole identity, a Black, a member of one of the most powerful families.

Now he was only Sirius.

And it was fine that way. He didn't enjoy feeling like he was taking advantage of his best friend, but James kept repeating every single day that it was okay, that he was welcomed there, that he would be just as loved and cared for as if he was the second son of Fleamont and Euphemia.

Remus was also staying there, sleeping right next to Sirius every single night the boy couldn't hold himself, hugging him and whispering words of comfort that meant the world to both of them. Peter would come often and the four of them would hang out until the sun would start to come out, full of laughs and giggles, dumb challenges, and spells going funnily wrong.

Moments that made Sirius forget about the things he had to go through were his favorite, but they couldn't last forever, and sometimes while laying on the bed and staring to the ceiling, he could feel the memories overflowing his head. They fell off as shiny waterfalls that wouldn't be stopped until hours had passed by and his eyes would close automatically, deciding that for today there was enough crying, enough suffering until his heart reminded him that he was nothing but a coward.

He couldn't stop now.

Luckily, James was trying to learn how to cook with Peter when Sirius felt himself falling against the wall. It was the same drowning sensation, the burning in the chest, the voice wanting to scream but nothing coming out of his throat, only sobs that were softened by the pressure of his hands trying to hide any sound.

But Remus knew, he just did.

And when he heard the noise of the wall being hit, he didn't think twice before entering the room, breath caught in his fist. Even after seeing in more than ten times that week, nothing would make him feel less worried about Sirius's panic attacks, it hurt to see him like that... broken.

"Hey, hey, love, I'm here, okay?" He asked, and Sirius nodded, that permitted the werewolf to keep his strategy to calm his boyfriend down, "It's okay, you are having a panic attack. Can I touch you? "

Sirius hugged himself and Remus took that as a "no", and it was great he could read the boy like an open book. Sometimes he preferred to be hugged, other times he liked to squish the werewolf between his arms, but this time he didn't need any of that. Just some insurance that everything would be okay.

"Sirius, breathe, follow my breath. Slowly, okay? c'mon, darling."

It was horrible knowing exactly what to do to calm himself down but not being able to do it immediately, but Remus's voice helped a bit by guiding him to a more steady condition. Lungs full of air, Sirius closed his eyes and canceled every other sound that wasn't his boyfriend's voice. The grab in his arms leaving him full of red finger marks.

Remus knew it would take time, but he wouldn't leave that room until Sirius was stable again. Five to ten minutes passed and he seemed more peaceful. The tears dried in his cheeks and his hands were now in his sides, resting carefully.

"Better?" the werewolf asked.

Sirius nodded, a resigned smile in his lips, "I guess so."

Remus tried to smile back at him, and while doing that he got up, his hand reaching out to help the shorter boy, "C'mon, I think I have something that can distract you a little bit."

Both of them walked hand in hand into the living room, where they could hear James and Peter singing along to music, still in the kitchen.

"With all the time they have been there," spoke Remus, sitting on the sofa next to Sirius, "I wouldn't be surprised if they have broken at least two plates."

"We heard you Remus Lupin!" Shouted James, his voice offended, "And we haven't broken anything yet!"

"Thanks to Merlin."

Both of them laughed softly and Sirius thanked for the peace that was coming to him again, maybe it would last only a few hours, but he was better now that he was fifteen minutes ago, and that was something he was proud of.

"So, these last few days I have been talking with Lily and," Remus rummaged his pockets, a grimace of concentration adorning his face, "She told right now It's very popular to paint your nails. And I thought, well, Sirius, no one rocks the color black better than you... so..."

"Black nail polish?"

"Yes, and you will let me paint your nails because you will look good, I promise."

Sirius made an unsure sound, "I thought only girls did that."

Remus denied, "A trend doesn't have gender, put your hands here."

While the werewolf was painting his boyfriend's nails, he had this look on his face that only appeared during exams or tense situations, concentration as it's fullest. It was an adorable sight and Sirius loved every second that he was being held very carefully by Remus big and full of scars hands.

That is how love felt like.

"Are you having fun?" Remus spoke for the first time in five minutes, his gaze proudly admiring the work he did in the first hand.

"If having fun means getting to stare at my boyfriend's face while he's being cute, yes."

Remus rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless, "I'm trying to make them look good."

"It looks good, I bet you are better at this than Lily."

Both of them laughed and Remus decided to continue his work, coming back to the comfortable silence that sat between them in the whole process. In the end, Sirius vas a little bit surprised by how much he liked them, he fell in love with a man of many talents.

"You did a really good job, Remus."

"Now that I see how it looks, maybe I will try it myself."

Sirius was about to complain he wasn't as patient or firm as his partner was, but he was shushed by Remus blowing softly at the fresh nail polish.

"You can do a drying spell or something."

"And where is the fun in that, love?"

Sometimes love was just, the smell of nail polish and the sound of joyful laughs.

[emdop]

The Fuckening: Modern YA Fantasy Misunderstands Feminism and Effective Plot Structure

Alright, mother fuckers, buckle up. Like most book lovers, I read many books and I’m always searching for the next one that will make me develop a hyper-fixation. Nothing beats the rush of finding media so good that time loses all meaning and you’d sell your soul for the next hit of content. The amazingness directly results from being rare. So in between the moments of stuffing your face full of your favorite characters, the other books are read. The ones that could have been good but aren’t successful. The ones with the lying, beautiful covers used to lure readers into forking over crumpled cash while hugging the hopefully precious gem. Then, all the words are read and the covers are closed, and there’s only the silence of disappointment and mediocrity.

Anyway, I read a book. Shocking, I know. It had so much promise and as I delved into the first fifty pages; I thought I found a winner. Then it started to sink in a massive Titanic kind of way. This book was Wicked Saints by Emily A. Duncan (this essay/rant will have spoilers and will discuss the ending). I’m prefacing this rant with a disclaimer, not because I’m trying to side-step backlash, but because I feel it’s worth mentioning. This is all my opinion and if you loved this book with all your heart, that’s awesome! I understand why someone would spend time reading, writing, and engaging with it. It’s possible to recognize the weaknesses of a piece of media and still like it; I just happen to not like it because of those weaknesses. Returning to my point, the pitfalls, mistakes, and blandness of this book are rampant throughout Young Adult literature, particularly in Fantasy. As a writer myself, I’m not immune to committing the same sins, but I think it’s valuable to examine why and how these unfortunate tropes keep appearing. I have several points I want to explore in this essay, but the main two are the pretend feminist values and poor writing craft.

Part One: YA Book Feminism and Bland Female Characters

Wicked Saints is marketed as a book about a girl who can communicate with gods and draw power from them. Her magic is rare in a world full of blood magic users and as the war between her country, Kalayazin, and the opposing force, Tranavia, clashes on her front porch, readers are led to believe that she’s an integral part of how this war will end. I was here for this. I was so ready to scream about this book to anyone who will listen. Now, I’m screaming about it for a different reason. 

Nadya, our human incarnation of the god’s Walkie-Talkie, is not like other girls. She’s special and powerful and exceptional. At first, I bought this lie, much like I did with every other book like this one. I thought, finally, here’s a badass heroine who will take charge of her life and wield her powers to create a lasting peace or at least kill everyone. When the readers meet Nadya, she’s living in a monastery to hide from Tranavians since her magic is so rare and powerful, they’re sure to seek her destruction. Then, they find her, or rather Tranavia’s prince, Serefin, (a boy-general, because adults don’t exist in YA) does. Serefin tries to kill Nadya, but she escapes with help of Forgettable Best Friend.

Lately, I’m reading a trend of books that build a “strong” female narrator by giving her some sass, adding a rare but useless magic, and having her not die. Then they slap words like empowering, feminist, or well-crafted into the marketing campaign and call it good representation. This isn’t quite what happened with Wicked Saints, but I had the impression that Nadya would be more than what she actually was in the book. The hardback cover has the words “Let them fear her,” engraved into it for gods’ sake. I thought she was going to at least do something. 

Okay, there was one time she did something. While on the run from Serefin and the other Tranavians, Nadya and Forgettable Best Friend find a group of misfits being attacked. Nadya, in the confusion of who’s an enemy and who’s an ally, asks the gods for help. One responds by vanishing all light for like ten minutes or something. This scene is one reason I bought the lie that Nadya was going to be a Bad Ass Mother Fucker, but this is the only time I remember her using any kind of significant power. In fact, once the plot gets going, Nadya is cut off from her powers almost entirely. I’ll get to that later. Back to the group of misfits, which includes a broody, yet totally handsome Tranavian, Malachiasz, and bam, we’ve found the love interest. Malachiasz is a Vulture which I understood as a privatized military group that’s ruthless, skilled, and detached from the world (no family or friends). So, Nadya hates him on site, but Malachiasz has defected and has like emotion now. They argue a bunch and exchange heated glances. 

Now that we’ve introduced our male characters (Serefin, Malachiasz, and some other dude in the misfit group), our plot gets going. There’s nothing wrong with introducing characters to start a plot, that’s how story-telling works. What I’m finding frustrating in this book and many others like it, is that the male characters make most of the decisions. They show the most autonomy and participate in the drama/action. Serefin is leading an army, making command decisions, and drinking copious amounts of alcohol (I don’t have time to get into the drinking to drown your feelings is Not Good argument, but know that this book doesn’t call out his addict behavior). Malachiasz and his band of friends are planning to assassinate the king. The female characters have run away, observed, and turned out the lights. Where is the girl who’s inspiring fear in the gods themselves? Where is the girl who’s fighting for justice and her future? Granted we’re only a hundred pages in at this point, so I’ll excuse it for now. 

In the meantime, the king calls Serefin back to the palace for Rawalyk, an event where noble women compete against each other to win the prince’s hand in marriage. Nadya and crew travel to Tranavia and disguise themselves as people participating in the event. I forgot to mention that the Tranavians only use blood magic and hate the gods, and in an effort to keep them out, the king put a barrier around the country, which keeps Nadya from using her powers. Convenient. And so very disappointing. As per their plan, Nadya has to get close enough to the king to kill him, so she uses Rawalyk to gain access. Nadya offends one of the other suitors and the suitor challenges her to an Agni Kai—sorry, different story, a duel, rather. Nadya has to pretend to use blood magic, so she can hide her true identity. Near the point of winning the duel, Nadya realizes it’s to the death, but she doesn’t want to kill the girl, so she tells her she’ll spare her. Then, Malachiasz uses his magic to end the girl’s life. Again, there are male characters forcing the plot forward while the female character’s agency is stripped. 

We’re now over two hundred pages in and Nadya hasn’t done shit except for worry about her crush and follow other people. Our narrator is a “powerful” girl, but the most interesting characters are boys and only male characters move the plot forward. I guess, who needs a personality or autonomy when you can have a love interest? To make matters worse, in the middle of all this crap, she’s thinking about her male best friend who died, but is coming back in book two, and not even Forgettable Best Friend who is actively trying to help them. Nadia thinks to herself “Kostya. You’re doing this for Kostya, she reminded herself,” (Duncan 256). Kostya was in this book for like five pages, who the fuck is this bitch? Why does anyone care? Why can’t she be going on this quest for herself, for her country, for her supposedly beloved gods? 

YA Fantasies keep prioritizing and valuing the actions of male characters over female ones. There are exceptions, but they only prove the rule. I’ve seen this repeatedly in books like City of Bones, Caraval, Shadow & Bone, Harry Potter, and now Wicked Saints. Some of those books are my favorite books, but if I never critique them, I’ll never want better or search for books that do more. I want to see more YA fantasies treat female characters like their male ones. I want female characters who participate in the narrative, make mistakes, experience success, and, I don’t know, have some ambition and goals. They should use their talents and be integral to the plot, because Wicked Saints’ plot still could have happened without Nadya.

Part Two: Character Development and Effective Plot Structure

Let’s get into this dumpster fire of an ending. While staying at the palace and pretending to be a suitor to the prince, Nadya uncovers parts of Malachiasz’s past and finds out he’s the leader of the Vultures who’s disappeared for reasons unknown. Nayda gets captured and tortured and learns that her gods may not be who she thinks they are, and she has her own power that she can always use. And does she use it? Not really. She questions everything, but not Malachiasz. Him, she makes out with. Nadya’s group and Serefin’s converge and they trust each other because they both want the same thing: the king dead. Serefin knows his father is trying to kill him and uses the help of the misfits, including, plot twist, his cousin, Malachiasz.

Serefin doesn’t understand why his father wants to marry him off and plotting to kill him at the same time, and eventually, Malachiasz talks about his past. He became the leader of the Vultures and was researching the gods when he figured out, in theory, how to become one. He gave this information to the king and you can imagine how a narcissistic king will feel about that. Malachiasz regrets his actions and runs away. Part of the process of becoming a god involves ingesting the blood of powerful magic users, hence the Rawalyk event and Nadya’s torture; they were collecting blood from the suitors. The king also has to sacrifice the prince to complete his goals. Together, they come up with a plan to corner the king while he’s attempting to perform the ceremony to become a god and kill him.

It all goes spectacularly wrong. Serefin gets captured and killed by his father, but he doesn’t die? I don’t know; there were a lot of moths involved and I was very confused. Malachiasz and Nadya go after the king and there’s a mediocre fight scene. Nadya kills the king but not after like three pages of her debating why Malachiasz is just chilling on the throne and watching this all happen. Malachiasz betrays the group, taking the power for himself. Nadya has the nerve to be surprised and heartbroken. He turns into a bird-like thing and flies out the window into the darkness.

The only time Nadya uses her own magic to do something it turns out to be in service to a male character’s goals. I’m tired and I hope you are too. Anyway, this section’s purpose is to look at effective plot structure. Wicked Saints meanders for three hundred pages trying to tie together a book about war, marriage competition, and religion. When the plot points all converge for the last eighty pages, we ultimately learn nothing more than we did at page 200. If this is a book about villains than why are minimally bad things happening? Why did no one die except for the throw away character at the book’s beginning? Why aren’t there more consequences for the character’s actions? My questions are answered by pointing at the poor plot structure and terrible character development. This book is run by boring characters whose actions don’t amount to anything, and that’s when they actually do something. Characters should evolve or devolve depending on the narrative. They should enact the plot, not have the plot happen to them. The few times we get characters changing, it’s followed by the most basic plot twists. Looking at Malachiasz in particular, we meet him while he’s plotting to kill the king with his new acquaintances, then he meets Nadya. She calls him a monster a million times, and he doesn’t deny it. They plot to kill the king again. By the end, we find out he’s only in this for himself and surprise, he’s not a good guy! Did not see that coming.

Continuing my rant on Malachiasz, Wicked Saints has one of the poorest representations of anxiety that I have seen in a long time. (Note: right after this I read Truly Devious and boy, the whip lash I had from that transition. From one the worst to one of the absolute best). Before I rip into this terrible character development, let me discuss two things: one, I don’t know if the author suffers from anxiety. It’s possible that Duncan experiences it very differently than me, and this may be good rep for someone else (I have my doubts about this since I can shred it like wet tissue paper, but I’m willing to mention this possibility). Two, considering Malachiasz’s turn to The Dark Side, it may have been purposeful bad representation. Essentially, he never had anxiety, just needed Nadya to trust him. Okay, with that out of the way, let me scream this: ANXIETY IS NOT CUTE. IT’S NOT A FUN, QUIRKY CHARACTER TRAIT. PLEASE FOR LOVE OF MEDUSA, STOP USING MENTAL ILLNESS AS A CRUTCH FOR YOUR INABILITY TO WRITE COMPLEX CHARACTERS.

The only thing we know about his anxiety is that he bites his nails. Sigh. I’m sorry it’s just that the more I think about it, the angrier I get. Wicked Saints came in an OwlCrate box and in the letter from the author to the reader she describes Malachiasz as “a boy whose earnest anxiety hides monstrous secrets.” Except anxiety doesn’t hide what you’re feeling, in fact it often puts your deepest fears on display for other people to see and usually at the worst moment. Anxiety has a million symptoms, many of which can be observed from the outside and thus easily incorporated from the point of view of a non-anxious character. Here’s a list: panic attacks, hyperventilating, shaking, hypervigilance, irritability, restlessness, sweating, tense muscles, difficulty sleeping, and fatigue. Sometimes Malachiasz displays fatigue and irritability, but it’s when the other characters are in the same headspace, so it doesn’t count, because it can easily be chocked up to circumstance, not mental illness.

If we ignore the author’s implication that his anxiety is earnest and assume that he faked it to gain Nadya’s trust, we get to a problem. The book never explores how he lied or parses through where he’s genuine, so, I have to assume that he was supposed to have anxiety. He’s called a monster so many times I got irritated. Aside the fact that it’s offensive to make the only mentally ill character a “monster,” it’s downright annoying to read a million times. Malachiaz is an attempt at a morally gray character. He makes decisions that only benefit himself, but sometimes he saves lives or kisses a girl, so some parts of him are still good. I’m okay with that, what I’m not okay with is piss poor characterization. People with anxiety can be bad! But if you make your villain anxious, it should be for a better reason than he needed a personality.

After I finished this book, I looked through some Good Reads reviews and many of the users pointed out something I hadn’t noticed. To use the blood magic, characters had to cut themselves, and reviewers found they didn’t like how this glorified self-harm. Many suggested that a trigger warning for self-harm should be placed at the beginning or the magic system should have been handled with more sensitivity. As someone who does not have personal experience with self-harm, I won’t elaborate and instead let other people make of it what they will.

There were two parts of the book’s description that sold me on it: one, the girl talks to gods, and two, a star-crossed romance. We already know how disappointed I was about that first plot point, now let’s talk about the other disappointment of the day. A fantastic rule going around on the internet  goes “if they have to kiss for you to know they’re in love, it’s not good romance.”

I will say something that may offend many people, but hopefully you’ll stick with me. Young Adult Fantasy books have bad romances. They’re underdeveloped, poorly crafted, and overused. Romance is my favorite genre, and I love seeing it in other types of books, but many times YA fantasies have the worst romances. Despite being constantly undervalued, romance sells and adding it to books usually helps pique people’s interest. But you don’t just “add” it to your book, because romance is hard to write. Hold on, I need that in capital letters. ROMANCE IS HARD TO WRITE. Good romance comes from nuance, established trust, chemistry, and gradual character developments. If a writer doesn’t do those things, you get insta-love, which isn’t satisfying or believable.

Wicked Saints tries to do an enemies-to-lovers trope. Nadya and Malachiasz don’t spend enough time together to develop a proper friendship much less a romance. They have legitimate reasons to hate each other and neither of them seem to change enough for it to be justified that their feelings have evolved. Nadya loses contact with the gods, but that should serve as a crisis of her own faith, not an automatic belief in something else. Her willingness to ignore Malachiasz’s obvious red flags is beyond frustrating and I can’t believe the book wanted me to be surprised that he betrayed the group at the end. Anyway, it’s time to make some conclusions, otherwise this essay/rant will never end.

Part Three: How Did We Get Here?

Wicked Saints is not the first to do these exact mistakes, and it’s here because of its predecessors. What other books do we know that have a Russian culture theme, a useless female narrator, and a love interest who’s bad? That’s right. I’m about to bring up the internet’s infamous Grisha trilogy. Throughout my entire reading experience, I was struck by the similarities of these books to the point where I was sure I was reading a fanfiction AU of Shadow and Bone. These books are so similar it had me wondering about plagiarism (I’m mostly kidding about that). The Grisha trilogy and Wicked Saints use the same tired tropes and rely on the readers need to self-insert to make up for the narrator’s lack of personality.

How do we get books that shout about feminism but don’t incorporate it? Books are written by humans and humans live in a flawed world. Art doesn’t exist in a vacuum and so many of the things we create are flawed. Sometimes, what we meant to write isn’t what is written. An author may have every intention of creating strong, complex female characters, but through the difficulty of writing, poor planning, and a host of other reasons, the result is a bland, useless character. Many times, these characters are touted for having magnificent powers, but they never seem to use them or if they do its only in small ways. This happens, in part, because if the character is all-powerful then there’d be no plot, so to create tension the author takes the power away, scales it back, or adds an obstacle in the way of using said power. This is all well and great, but it often leaves readers feeling like the book duped them into believing this character is special. People don’t like to feel as though they’ve been lied to. In my opinion, “Gotcha” plots and character developments result from bad writing.  With Wicked Saints there weren’t “Gotcha” moments so much as there were “please stop being a dumb bitch” moments. Nadya wanted to fall in love Malachiasz and the whole time I kept asking myself why. He’s a saltine with pretty eyes and fucked up nails. Then there’s Serefin who instead of dealing with his problems, he gets drunk. His big plot point is that he doesn’t die and turns into a swarm of moths for a while which would have been cool if they explained it in any kind of manner.

Stopping the proceeding rant, I should make conclusions and end this before it gets more out of hand. YA fantasies aren’t progressing the way they should, and you could point to several books that do incredible things, but they’re in the minority. YA authors need to make their narrators complex and fully formed instead of literal sawdust. We need authors to create better female and non-binary characters who have the same agency as their male counterparts. They should stop including romance in the first book. Let the characters grow and breathe for a hot second. Gradual bonds made through several books are always more satisfying and well-crafted than a rushed romance in book one. Also, people in the publishing industry, please, please, please use sensitivity readers. Or maybe search for books written by Own Voice authors. I know for a fact there are incredible writers creating amazing works out there. I’ve interacted with them. Someone publish their books before my head explodes.

Tag list: @weathershade​ @queenoffloweryhell​ @raywritesblog​ @saistudies​ @vesaeris-writes​

[iamthelostsundrop]

A Thousand Years (Tomura Shigaraki X Reader)

A/N: Hey y’all! Wow, I didn’t expect the first story to do so well! I have another one for you. Grab your tissues because it...its kinda depressing. Hope you Ike it and that these altered song fics become more of a regular thing for me!

Warning: Mentions of attempted suicide. One mention of someone being beaten. Death. Shigaraki is also a little OOC in this but idc

Words: 2145

🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️🧬❤️

Time never really made sense to you. Things always either changed or stayed the same. People grow and people die. But not you. You’d been around for a long time. You learned pretty quickly that you had stopped aging when your body stopped maturing and changing, around the time you were 21. You tried to be normal, act like everyone else. You finished college and got a job like everyone else whose quirks weren’t suited to hero work. You and your high school lover got married. You and him had a few children together. It was a good life. Then when you paused and looked at your husband one day, he was old. He was slowing and you were still as agile and young as you were when you were 21, despite your age being in the 60’s now. You saw the love of your life slipping away. You held his hand when he died. You held your children’s hands as they died if you could.

Time passed and you did your best to stay in the background. Not to make connections. Your grandchildren’s grandchildren were graduating from college and you were the same. You started to notice trends in humanity; their violence, their greed and lust for power. You wanted nothing to do with it. Soon you escalated your avoidance into moving as far away from people as you possibly could. You saw it all over the next few hundred years. Life and death, birth and burial. People stopped visiting you. You witnessed the fall of society. Once great cities crumbled and turned to dust. And yet you could not die. You’d tried. Every conceivable way to end someone’s life, you tried it. You tried to end your isolation and seemingly endless life. But your attempts were in vain. Water in your lungs dried. Wounds that should have been fatal closed up and blood replenish itself. Poison tasted sweet and went down easily but never fulfilled its goal. You refused to eat or drink but your body would never waste away. Soon you gave up all hope of ever finding everlasting peace and seeing the afterlife.

Ten thousand years. You had been alive for ten thousand years. Humanity had moved on, after nearly destroying each other with their technology. It was as if time had rewound to the dark ages, with the relics of the past scattered like ruins all over. Humans returned to living in castles with kings and queens who possessed powerful quirks ruling the others. Animals had evolved back into creatures of prey and predators. Strange creatures only seen at the dawn of time and in children’s storybooks began appearing and populating the places man did not. But they let you be. All had been silent in your forest until one warm evening.

A sudden and unexpected knock shattered your serenity. You looked up from the table, almost not believing it. Then it happened again. Three knocks followed by a quiet voice, almost like a nervous whisper.

“Hello? Is anyone there?”

The legs of your chair scraped across the dirt floor and you walked over to the door, opening it a crack. There stood a tall man with hunched shoulders. His face was hidden by a hood so that all you could see the tangled mess of what appeared to either be white or very light blue hair.

“Is this the home of the witch of the woods?” his question caught you off guard. Witch? What was he talking about? You were no witch.

“I’ll ask you again. Are you the Witch who calls these woods your domain?”

“I am no witch,” You said, almost indignantly. “But yes I call this wood my home. Who are you?” Without warning the young man dropped to his knees. He lowered his hood and he looked up at you with startlingly red eyes.

“My name is Shigaraki. Tomura Shigaraki. I come here to humbly ask for shelter from you.” You let the door open fully to look at the man before you.

“I don’t understand. Why do you seek shelter from me?”

“Other men fear these woods and the wild creatures that are in it. I...” He hesitated before continuing. “I Need a place to keep out of their sight. Please M’lady.”

Time had always passed so slowly for you, but the past three weeks had been very different from what you were used to. Tomura was Quiet but extremely helpful around the house; gathering ingredients for dinner, cleaning and generally just being there. It had been so long since you had had anyone around it was almost comforting to have another person around again. One evening after he had set up a fire, you asked him to sit by you on the couch.

“Tell me the stories about me, Tomura.” you said looking at the young man curiously. It had been about five thousand years since you been around humans and you were curious what they had evolved or devolved into.

“All the stories are different. One tells of an old hag that kidnaps children. Another says you’re a catlike creature as old as the oldest trees in the forest. The most common one is that you are one of the old gods, living among us in secret until you decide to tell the other gods it is time for judgment and end humanity.” You couldn’t help but argh out loud at the last one.

“And what do you think now you have met me?”

He was silent for a few moments.

“I believe you are a very quiet, very sad, and very beautiful woman who has seen too many bad things happen and you simply got tired of seeing it. So, you moved out here to be alone with the hope that you would never have to see anyone you love get hurt again.” You were silent. He was right. Everything he had said was correct. You hadn’t noticed that he had moved closer to you.

 “Do you know what my quirk is?” The air was thick around the pair of you as you looked into his eyes. “Do you know why I isolate myself?” Before you could continue your words were cut off by his lips pressing to yours. You melted into him, eyes closed and your mind lost in the moment. For the first time in your life, time stood still. A gloved hand caressed your cheek, warm and comforting. You had been with another person before but this time was unlike an other before. Your bodies felt like they were made for the other, like two pieces of a puzzle that fit together perfectly. Pure bliss.From that point on, things were better. You hadn’t felt this kind of peace since your first lifetime. You watched him do work in the woods, you watched him hunt and start the fire in the evenings. Seasons passed and it was mid winter before you asked him something that had been on your mind for some time.

“Why do you wear gloves?” He was taken aback by the abruptness of the question and how out of the blue it was.

“My power is very destructive.” Humans hadn’t use the term quirk In thousands of years. “I don’t wish to lose control or absentmindedly hurt anything or anyone.” You furrowed your brows.

“Tomura, my love, you know of my past and of my power. Why do you stay silent about yours?” You could see him tense at the subject.

“I. I don’t want to discuss it.”

“Why not?”

“(Y/N), please. Drop the subject.” He turned and looked to you, eyes pleading. He didn’t want to have you look at him like everyone else did. You nodded, going into the kitchen to finish dinner. Tomura disappeared into the woods that evening and did not return that night.

He did not return for six days. Six days you waited on the porch with bated breath, jumping at every sound and sleeping on the couch by the fire. When he did return, you threw your arms around him in tears.

“I was so worried you’d been killed.” he held you close, letting your fear and worries wash away in his comforting warmth

.“It’s time to tell you everything.” he said with a shaky whisper. He sat you down on the couch before removing one of his gloves. He picked up an apple off the table and held it between his thumb and forefinger. As he spoke, he slowly added another finger holding the apple.

“My power is dangerous. Ive told you this before. I call it the power of decay.” When he said this, his fifth finger touched the apple and it withered into dust that settled on the table in a neat pile. 

“It manifested when I was about four. Other kids had exciting or helpful powers like flight or the ability to weird flames, mine turned things to dust. I was made to feel ashamed. Told that I would never do anything good in my life with a power like this. I tried to fit in, I wore the gloves because they were specially made to keep my power hidden and handled. Things were fine until I...” he hesitated and looked into your eyes. They gave him the courage to continue.

“The three days before I found your home in these woods, I lost control. A man accused me of touching his daughter and began to beat me in the square. No one would help despite my pleads of innocence and shouts for help. They watched this man beat me within an inch of my life before I grabbed his arm, without my glove. I didn’t mean to kill him I just wanted him to stop. I ran home, took a bag of provisions and went into the woods where I knew they wouldn’t follow me. I had heard the tales of you hiding in the woods and I knew one way or another you would help me.”

The silence that followed was heavy. The man you’d grown to love wouldn’t me your eyes. You took him by the hand that was gloved and gave it a squeeze.

“You have a brave soul and a heart like a lion, Tomura Shigaraki. And I love you. Nothing you can say or do will ever change that.”

And that was it. You had a love again. Someone to spend their life with. You were happy for many years. You were careful to not have children but that didn’t mean you weren’t intimate. Your favorite part of your evenings was when you were chest to chest with him, so close you couldn’t tell where one person ended and the other began. Years passed and then, like it always did, time began to show on your lover but not on you. Soon his handsome face became aged and withered, while yours stayed fresh and young. He became sick one winter and you knew your time was short. You kneeled beside him and smiled with tears in your eyes.

“Don’t be sad, my love.” he said, voice creaking like a tree about to fall. “You’ll fall in love again.” You shake your head, letting the tears spill finally.

“No, I don’t want you to leave me, Tomura.” Your hand gripped his tightly, afraid to let go. Your eyes met his and in an instant, you knew what you wanted. You knew what you needed to do. You slowly held both of his hands in front of you. Slowly but deliberately you slipped off his gloves. Seeing and understanding what you meant to do, Shigaraki tried to pull away.

“(Y/N). Love please don’t. You’ll die.” That’s when you smile.

“Then I'll be with you.” You both knew he was dying. You had lived for hundreds of thousands of years, and you couldn’t imagine a day where you didn’t have him. He stopped fighting and looked you in your (Y/E/C) eyes. As he took one of his last breaths. He held up his hand to you. 

“Daring, don’t be afraid.” You whispered, “I’ll see you soon my love.” And with those last words, you laced your fingers with his and closed your eyes.

Dying didn’t hurt like you thought it would. It was peaceful. Like falling asleep. A warmth enveloped your body as you turned to dust in his hands. A bright loving light overcame your senses and blinded you, but only for a second. When you opened your eyes again, you were in a warm field of wildflowers. The sun shone above you without a cloud in the sky. A hundred yards away was a large oak territory with a swing swaying in the spring breeze. A young man with white, or was it light blue hair stood waiting. Waiting for you with a smile on his face. You were finally home.

[mowulf]

How to Train your Downer: CH5

<–|Start|—>  (Next Week!)

Here’s this weeks chapter!  In which everything goes really well! Right up until it doesn't. As always, you can read the whole thing (so far) over here!

The door opened and Green looked up from his mug of coffee expecting Davies to walk through the door. Curfew was in a few moments and even officers weren’t exempt (unless they were working the night shift, of course). Instead, Arthur entered and shut the door carefully behind him. He had a new mask - of course he would. Green expected nothing less - and wore an expression of vague confusion.

Green knit his brows. “You’re back?”

Arthur startled but quickly recovered. His face blanked and he feigned disinterest as he moved to join the doctor in the kitchen. “Yeah, guess I am,” he said as he opened the fridge. A moment of silence, then he shut the door.

Green watched in idle curiosity before he finally sighed and pulled out an empty notebook. Seemed Davies was right after all. With that in mind, he would need to retake all of his notes. The knowledge that Davies was right was irritating, if only because Arthur should have followed all of the pre established rules. Also, Davies would never let him live this down.

“What are you doing?” Arthur asked suddenly.

Green looked up in time to see Arthur carefully peel the mask off his face with a relieved sigh. How much should he say? At what point would Arthur decide he’d had enough and just fuck off back outside? With a shrug, Green answered, “Keeping notes for work. You aren’t the only one we’ve got our eyes on.”

Oh that caught Arthur’s interest. He tried to feign disinterest, but Green specialized in reading people. Any good Joy doctor worth his salt had to be an absolute pro at body language, so he caught the way Arthur’s head cocked as he stood a bit taller.

Perhaps…?

No. It would never work. And Davies would almost certainly shut the idea down.

But maybe?

With proper training, perhaps he could use Arthur to sniff out other downers. Provide enough incentive and surely the lad wouldn’t object. If nothing else, self preservation would win out. No, Davies would absolutely not allow it if that were the case. Fine. He’d just have to find something else he could use. How food-motivated was Arthur?

“Stop that.”

Green blinked. He must have been thinking too loud - as Davies put it - because Arthur had hunched defensively and was shooting daggers his way. “Sorry,” he muttered without thinking as he quickly wrote down his thoughts in the notebook. Perhaps Arthur could be more useful than previously anticipated. And whatever Davies was doing was working. Surely-

The door opened again, bringing with it a cacophony of laughter and yelling. Lord. Green snapped the notebook shut and turned to see who had followed Davies home this time. Oddly enough, Arthur approached Davies with a smile despite his apprehensive body language and the way he regarded the other two officers with obvious suspicion and distrust.

Green watched with interest as Arthur greeted them with a cheerful smile only to have Davies - drunk as a skunk - grab either side of his face and rub like he would a pet. Arthur tried to bat him away initially but quickly gave up while Davies cooed this and that. There was too much noise to pick out exactly what was being said, but Green could tell Arthur was conflicted about the attention he was receiving.

Finally, Arthur extricated himself and absconded upstairs to the privacy and relative quiet of his own room. The door was slammed for emphasis, though Green wondered how much was intent and how much was from nervous tension. Either way, Davies bid his fellows farewell and finally quiet descended and he could return his attention to his coffee.

A pair of hands pressed into his shoulders and Green smiled as he reached up to knock Davies’ cap off and run fingers through his hair. “Told you he’d come back,” Davies said smugly.

“So you did,” Green conceded at last. “So you did.”

------

Arthur reclined in the seat as he enjoyed the sun on his face. Since his first adventure he’d made a point of getting out every day regardless of the weather. (Once, Green had tried to keep him inside. He’d waited for an opportunity and then slipped out the kitchen window.) The novelty of the collar still brought attention, but by pretending it didn’t exist - and by virtue of having a new mask - people quickly picked up on the fact that it just wasn’t that big of a deal and would typically go about their own business.

Not that the attention was unwanted. Arthur had quickly learned that a year of isolation left him starved for company. Even idle pleasantries provided little doses of serotonin that he craved.

Now, though, was the time to people watch. Turned out, another side effect of isolation was not being able to keep up with the changing trends which left him far behind the times. So he sat and watched and listened.

“Arthur?”

He looked over. “Valerie?” He flushed and silently thanked whatever powers that be that he was wearing a mask to hide the worst of it. He motioned for her to join him and smile as she took a seat. “Lovely day for it.”

“That it is!” She stretched her legs out before he tucked them under the bench somewhat and crossed her ankles. They enjoyed a moment of peace until she broke it with a soft, “Thanks for coming to see me. I was beginning to think you weren’t interested.”

Arthur flushed harder and nodded. “It was… fun.”

Valerie covered her mouth as she chuckled before placing a hand on his knee. “I had a lot of fun, and I’d really like to get together with you again. If you’re okay with that.”

Arthur hummed thoughtfully. At last he said, “I don’t know. I mean, I had a lot of fun, don’t get me wrong! But… I just… I don’t know…”

“You want something more than just a ‘casual encounter’?”

“Yeah.”

They sat in silence for a bit longer. Arthur watched people pass by and picked up snippets of conversations here and there while Valerie mulled over the conversation.

“You know,” she said at last, “I wouldn’t mind getting tea sometime. I know a nice cafe nearby. We could chat and get to know each other better.” She looked over at him and watched as it was his turn to mull over the offer. Finally he nodded.

“That does sound nice.” He smiled at her. “I’d really like that.”

“Afternoon tea?”

“Sounds lovely.”

With a final farewell, she stood up and trotted off. Arthur watched her go with a small smile. Her energy was infectious and having the opportunity to go on a date with her? A happy tingle ran up his spine.

He’d have to be careful, though. Valerie rivaled the Joy doctors when it came to reading people and he didn’t need her figuring out that he wasn’t on Joy. Out of everyone, she was the last person he wanted to find out.

Largely because he really liked her.

He stretched his legs out with a sigh and tilted his head back. He was ready to close his eyes and get lost in his thoughts when a familiar face caught his eye. Was that Marcum? Arthur cocked his head to get a better look. Yup, it most certainly was.

Marcum was absurdly tall, even compared to the other officers. But what really stood out to Arthur was just how approachable the man was. Perhaps it was habit and conditioning, but every constable he’d run across exuded an air of aggression. Marcum, on the other hand, just felt friendlier. Like he’d actually help even if he knew Arthur was a downer.

He watched as Marcum and another officer strolled along, chatting about who knows what. They traded playful shoves periodically and Arthur snorted. Guess even officers were prone to horsing around periodically.

Arthur leaned forward to prop his head in his chin as he watched. It was odd just how personable Marcum was. Surely he would have known such an outlier of an officer. His brows knit as he tried to shuffle through the names and faces of the officers that he did know, only to draw a blank. Had new officers been hired while he’d been locked up? Or maybe there’d been some kind of reorganization. That would make sense, considering Arthur knew the names and basic personalities of every officer that patrolled the Parade District. It was useful knowledge for when he had to schmooze his way out of trouble or beg a favor (or convince someone to look the other way while he did something particularly illegal).

But he didn’t know anything about Marcum. This was dangerous territory now, and begged the question of how many other officers were now patrolling that he had no history with.

“Hey there.”

If anyone ever asked, Arthur would vehemently deny the high pitched noise of distress he’d clearly never made. He would, however, admit that he had slid off the bench intending to stand up, only to have his hip choose that moment to give out and send him tumbling to the ground. Marcum laughed and stepped around the bench to help Arthur back to his feet. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you so badly. I thought you saw me coming since you were watching so intently.”

Arthur flushed and quickly looked away because wow, he did not mean to give off that impression. With a small wave, he said, “It’s fine. I should have been paying more attention to my surroundings. Shouldn’t you be patrolling, though?”

Marcum shrugged. “It’s fine. There’s two others patrolling for situations like this.”

“You mean so you can flirt around?”

Now it was Marcum’s turn to blush, though he didn’t deny anything. Arthur gave him a smug look for a minute before his survival instinct finally caught up and he realized that he’d basically accused a person of power.

Maybe a look of panic had flashed across his face, or maybe it was the shift in his body language, but Marcum was quick to say, “Woah, hey. What’s wrong.”

“Nothing.” Arthur forced on a too bright smile and glanced around nervously. He needed to get home. Now. He wasn’t sure he could keep up the facade for much longer.

Marcum slung an arm around Arthur’s shoulder and angled them, Arthur noticed, so as to hide Arthur in such a way that he was out of immediate view. That was… considerate? Kind? And also a sign of a much more pressing issue. “What are you doing?” he hissed, making sure no one else overheard.

“Listen,” the arm around his shoulders tightened and Arthur found himself gently pressed into Marcum’s chest, “every Joy doctor and constable in the area knows you aren’t on Joy and that you aren’t allowed to take any for the foreseeable future, but no one else knows this.” Fear spiked through Arthur. Old hurts and phantom pains shot through his body, a reminder of every beating he’d been on the receiving end of. “Hey.” He couldn’t breathe. He had to get home. “Arthur.” Davies would protect him. Davies would keep him safe. He’d promised. He’d promised. “Arthur!”

The distressed whisper pulled Arthur somewhat back to the moment. He didn’t realize he was hyperventilating until he was suddenly acutely aware of it. Marcum was still pressed against him and, judging by the concerned expression he wore and the rapid beating of his heart, had no idea what to do. Taking a gulp of air, he wrapped his arms around Marcum and hissed, “Shut up. Just, for once in your goddamned life shut up.”

Deep breaths. Slow down. Stop. Think. What did he see? His gaze darted around until it locked on a colorful shop sign. That was one thing. And the cobblestones of the road. Oh, and people. A few had paused as they passed by to get a look at him, but Marcum’s presence seemed to assure them that the situation was under control.

Okay. Okay, yes. Good start.

Uh…

Right, okay. Next step: feel. He flexed his fingers against the surprisingly rough texture of the uniform. He’d never really noticed because he’d always avoided physical contact with officers. Even with Davies, his main interactions had involved a lot of biting and screaming. Didn’t exactly leave a whole lot of time for fondling fabrics. As he pressed further into Marcum, his face found a smooth button and he allowed himself a moment to marvel at the drastic difference in textures. There wasn’t really anything else to run his fingers over without making an already uncomfortable situation even worse, so he moved on to the final step.

Taking in a deep breath, Arthur allowed himself to close his eyes and focus on his nose. Marcum smelled of sweat and spice, with a hint of some kind of perfume. He took another deep breath. He recognized that perfume. Why? Where had he smelled it?

Valerie.

His brain rocketed back to that night in the club, when she had pressed herself against him. She’d worn a unique perfume. Floral with a hint of spice. He blinked and leaned back to pull Marcum down to his level, pressed his nose into the crook of Marcum’s neck and inhaled. It seemed more concentrated on the uniform’s lapels.

Interesting.

“Arth-”

“You wouldn’t happen to know a Valerie, would you?”

“You mean my wife?”

If he weren't still standing, Arthur would swear that his heart had stopped. The blood drained from his face and he was vaguely aware of Marcum’s rapidly growing distress. “What,” he grabbed Marum’s lapels and pulled so that they were face-to-face, “do you mean you’re married to her? I am not some cheap fling you can use to cheat on your wife!” He let go and made a strangled noise in the back of his throat. Oh god, what had he gotten himself into this time?

Was this going to be his life from now on? A tragicomedy of mistakes?

“Woah, hey, no. Okay.” Marcum grabbed Arthur by the shoulders to pull his attention back. “I am not cheating on her. She is fully aware that I see other people. We both do. It’s… complicated.” He glanced around quickly. “And definitely a conversation for somewhere a bit more private.”

“I have a date with her!” A pause. “I think.” Oh lord, he’d forgotten to ask when she wanted to get afternoon tea.

Marcum practically lit up with excitement at the panicked statement. “You do? That’s wonderful! I don’t think we’ve ever fancied the same person before! Everyone’s always going after one or the other.”

“Now is not the time!” Arthur pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes with a low growl. “I need to get home, now, or I am going to lose my shit right fucking here.”

“Okay. Yeah. Let’s- yeah. That’s probably a good idea.” Marcum let Arthur take the lead, though he kept himself close just in case. Arthur managed to barely keep himself together for the agonizingly long trip back to Davies’ home. He was reaching for the door when Marcum grabbed his other wrist and said, “I’m sorry. I was going to tell you, but I barely know you. I just… I’m sorry.”

Arthur gave him a quick, pained look before he finally twisted out of the man’s grip and disappeared inside and slammed the door shut. The solid wood of the door pressed against his back provided a level of security that he desperately needed. He sank to the floor slowly and curled into a tight ball. Grabbing fistfulls of hair, he finally, finally allowed himself to fall apart into a panicked, sobbing mess.