#the whole buzzfeed shit

[thekricks0krickass]

someone please do the AFTG characters read mean comments about them.

its not a want IT’S A NEED

[pop-punklouis]

-

[pumpkinickel]

well, now we have THREE nickels

[moodyjazzyblues]

i just found out that hozier is 6'6" (198cm) HOLY SHIT

[atlabeth]

ALL MEN ARE THE SAME

[hussyknee]

i'm so confused rn, can you explain the goncharov thing?? i get off tumblr for five minutes

(Edits closed as of 28 Nov.)

Lmaoooo

Nah I getchu. So this post has been circulating for like two years:

Link to post.

But yesterday, it had inspired someone to do this:

Link to post.

Next thing I knew there were fake Letterboxed reviews.

Goncharov moodboards. Really good ones.

Link to post.

Meta analysis. So many fake meta essays. Disturbingly good ones. And of course the memes. (Edit: HAVE I SAID THIS SHIT IS DISTURBING)

As you can see, the myth just started to grow, characters and ships and tropes being added one after the other, almost bizzarely without contradiction, until there was enough of shape to the whole thing for people to start posting fanfic about it on AO3. "No beta we die like ice-pick Joe" is already a tag.

Link to post.

It was hilarious in the beginning, but the way it's developed within less than a day, kind of like it's being willed into existence, is freaking me out a bit. We're toying with powers beyond our comprehension. 😂😂😂

Link to post.

Of course, there could be an ulterior motive as well.

Link to post (tags mine).

Edit: guys, please tag these posts "unreality" so people with disassociation issues can filter them out (not this one, this is an explainer). <3

----------------------------------------------

Edit 2: Aparently the boots in the original post are actually referring to a movie called Gomorrah that came out in 2008, directed by Mateo Garrone, based on the Scampia Feud. And other people had also been making posts about the fake movie for a while before the poster took off.

found by @thepotch

Edit 3: Explainer: why did those boots have this movie on them anyway?

Edit 4: Alt text added to all images courtesy of @valentineish ❤️

Edit 5: Turns out tumblr has done this kind of thing before. Nine years in this hell place and I had to have "Squiddles" and penis smp explained in the replies.

Edit 6: This post collects the Lore so far.

Edit 7: Lynda Carter (real one)/ earns more/ Tumblr cred.

Edit 8: Holy shit y'all we have the theme music. With sheet music. And it's on Spotify!

Edit 9: THERE IS A TRAILER WITH THE THEME MUSIC

----------------------------------------------

I made this post 18 hours after the movie poster went up. Closed edits 27 hours after first posting. So all of the above happened within 45 hours of the movie poster going up.

Edit 10: Google document live-compiling all the lore so far (Day 3)

Edit 11: Masterpost of Goncharov soundtracks (Day 3)

Edit 12: Entertainment news articles covering the Gonch-posting (real) (Contd from yday)

Edit 13: The music from the masterpost all compiled into a 31-minute original score with video edits on YouTube (edit: unfortunately taken down)

Edit 14: Staff's Goncharov art showcase for Tumblr Tuesday

As of closing on Day 3 there are 371 works in the AO3 tag.

-----

Updating with Day 3 shenanigans I missed yesterday:

Edit 15: Goncharov TV Tropes page

Edit 16: Ethics of Gonchposting

Important PSA 1 (how to reduce harm to Tumblr's neurodivergents)

Important PSA 2 (reality affirmation, anti-bullying)

Important PSA 3 (why you should stop trying to vandalise legit information sites)

Edit 17: Character lore from beezlebub whose poster they originated from

Edit 18: What we know about/ Director Matteo JWHJ0715 (#unreality)

Edit 19: Link to post with screenshotted and described NYT article (scroll down) and this golden exerpt from BuzzFeed: 💀

(alt text included)

End of Day 4 there are now 485 works in the Goncharov tag on AO3

----

Didn't get to update this on Day 5, so these are the Day 5 doings:

More trailers!

Trailer 1 (My favourite)

Trailer 2

Trailer 3

Trailer 4

I also just found out about the Goncharov Game Jam.

It appears this opened a day after after the meme took off.

Goncharov was first entered into Wikipedia between Day 4 and 5 (attempts to vandalise it with fake info don't count, incidentally – please knock that shit off) under List of Internet Phenomena. This was then expanded into its own Wikipedia page at the end of Day 5 because, according to the talk history: "the topic now meets the notability threshold for its own artice due to significant coverage in The New York Times and other sources cited." We're on Wikipedia, people!

And then we made The Guardian half a day later. So while the meme is definitely dying down to embers by now, it still stays winning.

YouTube channels with episodes on the meme:

InformOverlord (4:30)

Lessons in Meme Culture (2:43)

End of Day of 5 there were 511 works on AO3, and End of Day 6 (today) there are 556.

--

🚨BREAKING 🚨 from Martin Scorsese's daughter's TikTok (real actual)

tw: unreality:

We did it you guys!

Clarification: Francesca Scorcese asked her Dad about the meme and Martin played along. Please reblog this PSA to help Tumblr people with psychosis. Thanks.

Final edit: Day 8. Media reactions to Scorcese's TikTok (everyone from Forbes to Vulture). That one Tumblr user who said they'd do a screenplay if their post got notes has promised to shoot a single scene, but please don't be dicks just because you reblogged it; leave them alone until they get around to it themselves. As of end of Day 8 there are 609 works in the AO3 tag. I love all you lunatics. Peace! ❤️

[rushman2-0]

...... do you think when Bruce finally let Dick out as Robin in the cape and scaly panties....

Y'think he had to teach Dick how to put on a cup like a parent sending their kid off to their first day of Little League?

[sexlapis]

yn and toji filming a buzzfeed puppies interview together then getting a question about if they would adopt a dog together 🎀🎀🎀

TOJI FUSHIGURO & Y/N + PUPPIES

⤷ cw: fluff, short fic, cute puppies, toji & yn haven’t exactly gone public but everyone basically knows they’re together 💀

a/n: needed to make this a whole thing bc i love this idea sm 🤭

INTRO

“oh my god!” you squeal as the crew members release six fluffy, tiny golden retriever puppies to where you and toji sit. the puppies immediately run over to both of you, and begin licking all over you knees and hands.

“hey, little guy..” toji coos and gently lifts the dog in his hands, practically dwarfing the small animal in the size of them. “such a little squirt, huh?”

you on the other hand, now have three bundles of pale yellow fluff bundled up in your arms, cradling them like they’re your children. “oh my god, oh my god. they’re all coming home with me, i’ll make it happen somehow.”

IF YOU WERE AN ANIMAL, WHAT ANIMAL WOULD YOU BE?

“easy.” toji begins, smirking. “i’d be a wolf. i-”

in the midst of rubbing the belly of one of the puppies, you snort harshly at his answer, pulling you lips together.

toji drops the smirk and looks at you while he rocks two puppies in crook of his big arms. “what’s funny?”

“toji…you? a wolf? i don’t think so..”

toji scoffs. “what’d you think i’d be then?”

“hmm.. i think.. i think you’d be a chipmunk.”

“chipmunk?!” toji exclaims. “no way!”

you hold one of the puppies up to your face, speaking in a baby voice. “toji would be a chipmunk, wouldn’t he? yes he would! yes he would!”

“i would- you know what you would be?” he starts and you know he’s probably going to say something crazy. “you’d be a pterodactyl.”

“a what!” you cackle, dropping your head onto the floor and laying on your stomach. some of the puppies start climbing on your back. “what the hell would i be a dinosaur?”

he puts one of the puppies on the ground and it rests on his shoe. “pterodactyls ain’t dinosaur actually-”

“ok, toji the palaeontologist, why the hell would be a pterodactyl?”

toji shrug, nuzzling the puppy in his arm. “y’know.. they’re loud..and they got big mouths.”

you gasp. “that is-” you puff your cheeks and start throwing the squeaky toys at him aggressively.

“hey! stop!”

IF YOU COULD ACT WITH ANY ACTOR, WHO WOULD IT BE?

“oh, definitely mikasa ackerman.” you answer. “she’s so talented and sweet.” you bounce the puppy in your arms, one who seems to especially love you and toji. “she’s so sweet! yes she is!”

“yeah i’ve heard good things about her..” toji said. “‘think my choice would be..nanami kento. he’s done good work..seems respectable.”

“wow, really? you’d both hate each other.”

“_____, why are you so negative?” toji asks, faking seriousness. “we would get along. don’t be jealous.”

“jealous?!”

“yeah, jealous,” toji picks up the smallest puppy and it to his chest, stroking its head, “ain’t that right? she’s jealous, right?” he shakes his head at you while shaking the head of the puppy with his hand. “she’s so- oh, that one’s taking a shit on the floor.”

you turn and there it was, a tiny puppy, in toji’s words, taking a shit.

“ew.. i forgot they just did that…”

when the puppy finishes it’s…business, the other puppies run over and start sniffing it.

“oh fuck, they’re about to eat his fucking shit.” toji wheezes, shoulders bouncing m. “their faces just make you forget how fucking disgusting they are..”

“eugh, they’re so nastyy.” you cringe at them, cooing at the puppy in your lap. “but you’re not like they are you?”

WOULD YOU ADOPT A PUPPY TOGETHER?

“yes! yes we would!” you rest the female puppy in your arms. “wouldn’t we, toji?”

toji looks at you, admiring how adorable you look with the adorable, little puppy in your arms. he looks back to the puppies in his arms and lap. “‘couldn’t hurt..”

you shout happily. “toji, we’re taking this one home.” you lift the puppy in your hands to the sky like she’s simba. you look off camera. “can we take this one home? please?”

at the end of the video, you’re hugging toji along with the other puppies. “you’re all coming home with me!”

toji looks to the camera for help

(and that’s how you both end up with 6 golden retriever puppies for pets :))

[shurisneakers]

unsolved (i)

Summary: Bucky doesn't even believe in the paranormal. So who the hell thought it was a good idea to stick him in a series about everything haunted for the internet's amusement? With his loose-canon of a teammate who has no concept of subtlety or any shits left to give, to make things even worse. (Buzzfeed unsolved AU)

Warnings: swearing, frustrated bucky at his little shit supreme, Very Loud reader, images and memes that all have alt texts.

A/N: yes this is literally harmless in a different font. do not ask me if anything doesn't make sense. i cannot explain. i resurface every 3 years to present you with ideas born from menty b's. ANYWAY shout out to my beloved ryan and shane. pls enjoy <3

Bucky doesn’t appeal to the youths.

Apparently. 

On God, he cannot fathom why.

He had definitely left the house in the last six months, maybe. Smiled in at least two pictures that existed on the internet. He even knew what Discord was. Sort of.  

By all accounts, he should be treated as the modern day icon that he was.  

“The youths?” he repeats, the word so foreign on his tongue it felt odd to even say it.

“Your numbers are the lowest of the whole team.” The latest tech-dude, with a tablet twelve models ahead of the one Bucky had in his room, tells him monotonously. “Wilson, Romanoff and Barton score the highest. Everyone else lies around the middle. You are dead-last.”

Bucky has the audacity to look offended. 

“Anything to say?” Their PR head, Maya, asks him, amused. 

He stares, formulating the wittiest one liner he could in three seconds.

“I don’ care,” he mumbles. 

Maya sighs. “Look, the team took the decision together. As far as I’m aware, you are still a member. You need some PR if you guys want to stay in the public’s good books.”

“No one’s gonna listen to me.” Bucky wasn’t exactly the poster child for American values. He couldn’t even vote until three years ago, and that came only after the full wrath of a Steve Rogers descended on the email inbox of the DMV. 

“That’s why it’s important to get them to like you,” Maya emphasizes. “Or the idea of you at least. A very sanitized, corporate friendly version.”

His eyebrow twitches unintentionally.  

“And also you signed the contract.”

Well. Shit. 

Truth be told– and he has openly and rather loudly stated this on numerous occasions even especially when no one asked– he doesn’t understand why they need a PR team. The world has calmed down significantly over the last few years. Bucky hadn’t really been out crime-fighting as much as he was people-watching. There hasn’t been an earth-shatteringly dystopian-level event in the longest time, and there seemed to be a group of spandex-clad teenagers who seemed to do a good job at taking care of them when they did threaten to occur. Go kids.

Even if they needed PR, he could arguably understand the appeal of Sam and Nat and why the people would want to see more of them. Bucky, on the other hand, looked like he crawled onto Earth most days of the week. 

“What do I have to do?” he asks ultimately, knowing there was no way to get out of this. “Interviews?”

The intern shares a look with Maya. Bucky shares a look with the ceiling. 

“The team agreed to do a series of videos, each focusing on a different niche,” she begins, “Crash courses on science, pointing out mistakes in spy movies. Once a week.”

Bucky nods along. He can pinpoint Bruce and Nat for those.

Maya stares at him.

Bucky stares back.

“So,” she says slowly, like he’s a moron, “you would–”

“No.” 

The intern sighs heavily like they discussed that this was going to happen. Bucky was getting predictable. This annoys him even further, for some reason.

“Only once a week, and it doesn’t have to be anything crazy–”

“I’m not doing videos,” he interjects. “I’ll tweet a few times. I’ll even go outside. But ’m not doin’ videos.”

A big step was to get the Avengers off Twitter after the regular shit-storm that occurs every time they’d quote-tweet another politician calling them shitheads. Getting them back on seems counterproductive. 

“Fine,” Maya relents, looking at the intern. “We'll work something out.”

Bucky leans back in his chair, and meditating on ways he can weasel his way out of those too.

So they stick him in a couple of interviews.

Bucky, as the recluse extraordinaire that he was, does unsurprisingly terrible at them.

Variety does a piece on him that was supposed to take up 2 pages. They send back half a page worth of usable material and Bucky gets a lecture on how monosyllables don't count as answers.

He grunts in return. Maya’s itch to smack his shoulder with the rolled up draft increases.

They set him up for pap walks. Just him getting fast food for the team, or sitting in the park.

They don’t take into account that Bucky was trained professionally for years on how to hide, sneak in and out of places without a soul knowing he was ever there. 

The paparazzi spend three hours waiting for him outside the pizza place, while he’s been home for two hours with two demolished pepperonis and an order of mozzarella sticks. 

They give him access to his Twitter. 

He tweets some dumb shit and gets shadow banned by that evening. 

Maya is sick and tired, and the interns have shifted three times since the whole ordeal started. Bucky honestly feels a little bad. Maybe he should try to be like Scott, who not only wrote a book, finger-gunned at photographers, did an interview a week, but also agreed to a podcast and a video series about literally anything they suggested. 

“Play nice,” Sam tells Bucky one evening. 

It’s an off-hand comment, not even really looking at him while he says it. 

Bucky doesn’t need to ask what he’s referring to, but he thinks that maybe he has gone too far.

He begrudgingly agrees. 

Therefore, it begins. 

They stick him in the background of a few videos. Just to interact, add his commentary on what was going on, suggestions. 

Then the jokes really start.

“I just don’t got anything to add,” Bucky tries, in a failure of an attempt to justify his lack of contribution. 

Maya only stares at him, but Bucky swears he can hear her curse quietly, even though her lips don’t move even a millimeter.  

He is not put in another video. 

And so he finds himself here. 

In a meeting room that he’s convinced is barricaded from the outside so he can’t slither out the door again. Another intern with pink-tinted glasses that took up half their face.

Maya’s in the midst of explaining to him that sure, his numbers had gone up by a decimal, but that was because people had started editing him into the backgrounds of other pictures for other users to find in a perplexing take on Where’s Waldo.

“Videos seem to be working,” she ties it together. “But we need more than you just standing silently behind Captain Rogers.”

“But it’s working,” Bucky objects. “I don’t see why it has to change.”

Maya sends him a glare. Bucky decides then it’s good to shut up. 

“Are you on the internet a significant amount?” the intern asks. The glasses on their face have changed colours to green. Bucky’s eyebrow furrows. 

“No.” 

For the next thirty minutes, he is subjected to a pop quiz about too many words ending with ‘core’, ‘coded’ and ‘eras’. He’s surprised that he knows what cottagecore is. He definitely doesn’t fucking know what a tomatogirl, nor does he want to. 

“What do you like doing?” the intern enunciates, pulling up a spreadsheet of niches that had built a dedicated community around themselves over the years. “Makeup? Cleaning? Parkour?”

Bucky wonders if they’d really create a montage of him just micro cleaning the kitchen every week. It doesn’t sound half bad. 

Beyond that, the only thing he can think of is woodworking, which Sam introduced him to. While he spends time creating little figures, he wouldn’t say it was– 

“You really are dead silent,” the intern breaks his train of thought, tone almost that of wonder. “Guess the whole ‘ghost story for seventy years’ is more true than I thought.”

Bucky throws him a weary look, and works on unclenching the fist that tightened involuntarily. 

“Was that necessary?” Maya’s voice comes coldly. “Take fifteen. Go find the other one we were supposed to meet.”

While sheepish and somewhat apologetic, the kid still looks relieved to be out of there. To be honest, Bucky isn’t really offended– he’s grown a thick skin over the years. But he also thought the guy was a little shit now. 

Maya turns back to him, but Bucky finds that the table contains wonders far more interesting than the conversation at hand.

“Back to what we were talking about.” She ruffles through something on her laptop. “Puppets? History?”

He wordlessly shakes his head. 

Been the former, seen too much of the latter.

Maya’s head tilts abruptly. “You like ghosts?”  

He wonders if the prior conversation had anything to do with this insightful question. 

Bucky shrugs. “Don’t exist.”

“Really,” Maya deadpans. “Aliens and multiversal baboons are fine, but no ghosts.”

“I’ve seen aliens and multiversal baboons. Never seen a ghost in my life,” Bucky argues right back.

“Other people have seen ghosts.”

“Good for other people.”

The door swings open right as Maya’s eyes narrow at him. Guess it wasn’t padlocked. 

“Whatever it is you think I did, Maya, I didn’t. I think,” you announce in a volume too much for a closed room, stopping when you see Bucky sitting cross-armed and looking delightfully disgruntled. “Oh hey, Barnes. Fancy seeing you here.”

Bucky had met you. The newest addition to the team that had made a grand entrance a couple of weeks ago. He thinks you stay on the floor below him, but he has nothing backing this hypothesis other than the disco funk music that had started appearing at odd hours of the night. 

“Please sit,” Maya cracks a smile at you that Bucky had yet to earn. “Sorry, I know our meeting is scheduled for later, but I figured we could kill two birds with one stone.”

You look between her and Bucky, who hasn’t moved an inch since you got here, much less even said hello.

“You must be really bad if Maya had to call me in,” you tell him outright. “I’m usually like, her last option.”

“Thanks,” Bucky replies dryly. 

“Look, here’s my final pitch.” Maya sighs, before turning to you. “You’re new, and we need something to introduce you slowly to the public.”

“Oh, am I finally getting hard launched?” You grin, and Bucky doesn’t know what that means. “Just imagine me kicking my feet, giggling or whatever.” 

“And he needs… an upgrade.” Maya’s thumb juts out towards Bucky who simply rolls his eyes.

“Right.” Your sight lands on him from across the table. “I’ve seen the memes.”

“What memes?” he grunts, because while the team had definitely seen them, it didn't occur to anyone they should show it to him. He loves them. Really. So much. Die for them. 

You only look too happy to pull out your phone and start typing.

“Do you know what skinwalkers are?” 

“No.”

“That’s what they say you look like, lurking in the back of all your friends’ videos,” you continue, swerving around your phone to show him.

Bucky doesn’t look impressed. He can’t say he blames them either, which makes him inexplicably maddens him.  

“At least they’re calling you their boyfriend,” you add, entirely unhelpfully. “That’s gotta count.”

“Right.” Maya clears her throat. “The both of you–” 

“Are getting paired together, I suppose,” you hum. 

Bucky’s eyebrows pull together. 

He barely knows you. Just a little bit on how you ended up here, that you enjoyed hanging out with the team, figuring out your place in the compound, and were seemingly doing a great job at it. 

You were… loud. And open. 

Bucky feels the compulsive need to compensate for that by doubling down on how silent he could get, as if the two of you couldn’t co-exist in the same space in equilibrium. 

Maya pointedly raises a finger at you. “Do you believe in ghosts?”

“For the right price, I will believe in whatever you tell me to.”

Her face lights up brighter than Bucky's ever seen.

“Great.” Maya slams her laptop closed. “See you later.”

Bucky’s left staring as she exits, not even throwing the both of you another look.

“That was quick,” your voice cuts through the silence. “What was that all about?”

 “Don’ ask me,” he grumbles, with a sinking feeling that he knew exactly what was about to follow. 

“Ghost hunting?” Bucky echoes a week later, as expected.

“Yes,” Maya tells him simply. “Two of you. A series based on paranormal activity.”

“I don’t even believe in them,” he reiterates. 

“That’s the point,” she emphasises. “Skeptic and believer. It makes for a good contrast.”

“Why us both?” He hopes it doesn’t come off as offensive. He just doesn’t see why he can’t do this with Sam. Even Clint, if a gun was really pressed to his head. 

“I’m new, no one gives a shit about me,” you say brightly and full of promise. “Yet.”

“Exactly. It’ll be low key. Not an overwhelming number of viewers, no expectations. It’s perfect for launching one Avenger and re-launching another.”

“Sounds rad.” You grin, leaning back as your feet rest on the chair in front of you.

Maya looks relieved for a moment that at least one of you was on board. “No promises on anything. We shoot one video, and if it does well, we stick with it.”

“What if I don’t want to?” Bucky argues. 

“Then you have until tomorrow morning to give us another feasible idea,” Maya dishes back.

Bucky retreats into his seat, arms crossed over his chest. 

Truth be told, he considered himself to be the most boring person in the team and though he had made his peace with that, he was sure thar bringing that up now would entail Maya shooting him in the foot.

“Fine,” he agrees and the sighs around the room are loud. 

He scoffs. So fucking dramatic and for what.

“Put her there, partner.” You stretch ungracefully over the large table, sticking out your hand.

Bucky eyes your hand. “Do you even believe in ghosts?” 

“I do now, yeah.” You nod seriously. “Love ‘em. Can’t get enough of them.”

“One video,” Maya reminds him as a balm. “And if it doesn’t work, you’re off the hook forever.”

Off the hook? Forever? For Bucky?

Yay. 

“One video,” he reiterates.

You roll your eyes before smiling when he leans forward to grab it. You yank it up and down clunkily. He blinks at you, letting go slowly. 

“Thank fuck,” Maya groans, head dropping onto the table. 

Your smile is wild. “Guess we’re doing this shit together.”

He doesn’t even have to look very deep in his soul. He already knows he’s going to suffer.

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing!

to keep up with updates for this fic and others, please follow @shurisneakersupdates and turn on post notifications!

also i'd absolutely love to make this a community led fic like how harmless was! if you have memes or any paranormal ideas or just any prompts in general, please please send them my way <3

Next part

[lantern-hill]

I think another reason for the watcher vitriol actually is because the whole video/announcement/move really has a slant of looking down on YouTube as a whole. "we want to make TV caliber content" "we want to be in our own established network" when they were in a network, BuzzFeed, and then thanks to YouTube they were able to leave that network and enjoy a greater profit share and more creative freedom. Like I always hate when people act like audiences are "owed" something from their faves and I'm not saying they necessarily owe anything to YouTube fans, but the tone of "thank God we can finally leave this place because we always wanted to do Real Content not this silly YouTube shit" has, I think, understandably upset a lot of people who really liked them as YouTubers. In a way I think one reason people are mad at them is because they're kind of shitting on their own catalogue of content, which people are very attached to and protective of. The psychology of all this is so interesting

[max1461]

I don't feel like this is a point I've ever had to be explicit about before but I think it's worth being explicit about: I think antifeminism is a really stupid ideology. I think feminism is a massively important political project, like one of the top 2 or 3 that have ever existed. It's so blindingly obvious that the core of the feminist project is justified and desirable.

Like any big-tent ideology/movement, sometimes it shits the bed. Radfems, 2014 Buzzfeed bullshit, whatever. I think the whole second wave was pretty deeply infused with bioessentialist nonsense. But if you're looking at feminism as a whole and writing it off for these reasons I think you're... well, either ulteriorly motivated or just kind of intellectually unvirtuous. "Intellectually unvirtuous" is a broader notion I have that I won't elaborate fully in this post, but it's like. Well unfortunately the average person is not intellectually virtuous at all.

[unpretty]

thoughts on the new Watcher news? I’m not mad about it at all, it seems very logical to me when they’ve always been focused on being able to control their content and they need a more lucrative way to do that. and it’s about as much as a patreon tier would be. but I also get that people are upset about possibly losing access to stuff they previously had access to.

lmao we were just talking about this in the groupchat, i honestly thought they'd partner with someone like nebula before going and doing their own dropout thing (i wonder if they've also partnered with vimeo?)

edit: oh i checked the terms of service and they're 100% partnered with vimeo just like dropout, i wonder how many other channels are going to end up doing the same thing once they get big enough

moving away from youtube makes perfect sense when you consider how bad youtube fucks creators for ad dollars, now they can make shit without having to worry they'll get demonetized for saying you should rob banks

if they want to make Old Watcher's Senior Ex-Buzzfeed Sanctuary i support them, based on an article i read they're going to be keeping the old stuff up and just not posting the new stuff? i don't mind either way but the whole thing does make me miss VRV because that shit was convenient

(remember VRV? and how you could subscribe to the one thing and it would get you a bunch of different premium streaming networks like crunchyroll and shudder and shoutfactory and collegehumor but also they bought original programming from defunct networks which is how they got the mbmbam tv show? dunno if it was actually good for the networks but it worked out great for me)

[cheolaholic]

ring of love; csc (teaser !!)

the ring doesnt always have to be filled with violence.

modern! au • boxer! au • hhu focused • multiple kinds of tropes • fluff, angst, smut

summary; agreeing to join vernon spectate an underground boxing match wasn't how you'd expect to spend your friday night. you also didn't expect to see seungcheol, someone you've lost contact with for years, become a part of the ring.

contains; boxer! seungcheol, part-time barista! reader, gamer! wonu, part-time model! mingyu, rapper! vernon, vocalist! joshua (he appears for an open mic scene), they're all in college so college! au, psychology major! wonwoo, art major! vernon, art major! mingyu, business major! reader, business major! seungcheol, hhu playing cupid and matchmaker, no second lead syndrome drama kinda shit bcs i said so, childhood friends to lovers, seungcheol and reader lost contact somewhere in their teen years, seungcheol is an absolute simp for reader, multiple types of tropes to be found, seungcheol is rich (like absolutely filthy rich), same goes to the rest of the hhu (they don't flaunt it like how you'd expect most rich kids to do, just that occasionally reader would have a moment of realisation where she goes 'right, they have the money for that'), reader and her family aren't as rich but are well off enough to have a comfortable lifestyle (working middle class) there's fluff, some occasional angst

mature themes include; sexual tension, making out, lazily making out, fingering, oral (f&m receiving), dacryphilia, cheol is filthy rich and has a filthy mouth to go along with it, corruption kink, marking kink, unprotected sex (pls wrap it before you tap it), dom! cheol, sub! reader, light bondage, lots of cussing, etc

a/n; yaho~ ik i've been gone for what, 3 years? but, i am back baby! (read in shane/ryan's voice from buzzfeed/watcher) and first fic ofc, i'm dedicating it to my beloved husband, cheol <33 this fic basically proves my permanent residence in delululand lmao 🥴

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"you... want me to join your endurance stream?"

a small hum was met with your question as wonwoo took a sip from his can of black monster energy drink. "...but, why..?" you asked, completely confused.

it wasn't as if you didn't like the idea, though you were caught off guard as the only games you've ever played were... well, more catered towards your style of aesthetic. games such as animal crossing, melatonin, a little to the left.

wonwoo's taste in games on the other hand, they were what you'd expect from majority of the male demographic on earth ㅡ FNAF, first person shooter games, he has a huge obsession with chilla's art games (to which you understand why after watching his playthrough of 'the closing shift' and 'night delivery').

the usual horror, thriller and action genre is what you're getting at.

"reason number one, you're pretty. and no, i'm not trying to hit on you," he then proceeded to raise his hand as if he was taking an oath, "i swear i'm not. i meant it as in, who wouldn't want to watch a pretty girl play games? i know your preferred genre of games and mine are two different worlds but, i'm sure we can compromise."

wonwoo surveys both your surroundings, seemingly to check whether the coast was clear; before propping his arms onto the coffee table and leaning forward.

"reason number two being if you join, i'll be able to get seungcheol to join too."

"so, you're getting me to join so you can get cheol to join?" placing a hand over your chest, you faked betrayal, "i feel so hurt that you're only using me as bait, woo."

"hey, i also want you to join, okay?"

taking a sip from your milkshake, you stared at wonwoo, urging him to continue his explanation.

"___, please. i even had the whole process of the endurance stream planned out! i just need seungcheol hyung to say yes, and you're the key to getting him to say yes!"

"woo, you're friends, of course he'll agree! i don't understand how i play a role in this. i'm sure bantering with mingyu, or even trying a 'no cuss' bet with vernon would be enough to get him to say yes."

shaking his head while sighing, he muttered out a "it's not that simple..."

"woo, i seriously don't get it."

"___, i'm going to be extremely honest, okay?"

you shoot the male sitting front of you a confused look, which prompted him to take a sip of his drink.

"this isn't the first time i've done an endurance stream, i'm sure you know that too. and i'm sure you've seen seungcheol join them but, not all the time. you'll notice it's usually gyu or vernon with me and chat's pretty much made it an inside joke that hyung's a rare pokemon sighting on my streams."

you let out a small laugh at seungcheol being called a rare pokemon sighting, which makes wonwoo smile.

"and, as of late, i've noticed that whenever we hung out, seungcheol would be there too. regardless if he had a match the previous night and his entire body is sore."

"but... we're friends, no? why wouldn't he be there?"

"okay, allow me to rephrase that sentence."

"mmm?"

"seungcheol hyung will only say yes if you're there too."

you're mouth opened slightly, shocked and confused. as you tried to process wonwoo's sentence, he added on.

"and this is just my assumption based on what i've observed from the day vernon introduced you up to now."

"you sound like a psychiatrist, woo..."

"i am a psychology student, no?"

"touché. and what have you concluded from your observation, mr jeon?"

"i think seungcheol likes you."

[celestialprincesse]

https://www.tumblr.com/celestialwhoree/742035550835474433

Anymore thoughts on this?? love love love!!

Ofc!!! my little nerdy history heart is so happy writing this😚

Simon's nerdy gf is OBSESSED (I cannot stress this enough) with conspiracy theories. Buzzfeed unsolved, watcher, Johnny Harris. She will sit there for hours on end watching videos about assassinations and the royal family being lizards - she eats that shit up.

Yes she will make him take the almost three hour train journey to London so that they can go to the natural history museum. She's currently trying to boycott the British museum - When Simon looks confused at her flat out refusal of going there instead of the natural history, she goes on a tangent that lasts almost the whole train ride about the injustice of the stolen artefacts, even gets a little teary at the fact that the Acropolis museum has an empty space for one of the stolen Erechtheion marble figures.

If the Pomegranate tattoo on the back of her neck isn't testament to her adoration of history and mythology (and women💕) she's not sure what is.

They spend hours traipsing around the museum, and Simon doesn't really understand when she gets super, jump up and down excited over some old blade or a bracelet, but if she's happy, he's happy.

Every vacation they take when Simon has a decently long leave added up, she's first out the door to get to museums and historical sites, she also gets stroppy when people don't respect the rules for cultural heritage sites. She saw someone wearing a bikini top at the Parthenon and gave them evils until Simon literally dragged her away. "Wha's she done to hurt you, eh?" He chuffed with an amused eyebrow raised at her. "This is a temple, Si! I'm not a prude, but seriously? It says on the booklet that visitors should dress respectfully!" (She's not a prude, she's just about the most feminine, unbothered historian there is. Until it comes to heritage sites)

Simon is desperate to get back to their hotel and spend their time more productively, but they've only got a week!! and she has to go to the Acropolis!!

When they do get back to their room, she's so jittery with excitement that she doesn't notice he's trying to get her in bed until he's literally pulling her panties down. "Tell me you're not wet from looking at some fucking columns." "Oops?"

[levyfiles]

i feel like if they just said straight up that they don't want to be youtubers cause they're "better than that" - which honestly feels like the subtext here - it would have been better than this disingenuous sentimental nonsense followed by an ask for money, the phrasing of which made it sound like we should feel guilty for consuming their art for free till now

OK, I have said this a few times but this is going to be my last time saying this on tumblr.

Youtube is a platform once built for users in 2006; the idea was for those locked out of the industry to have an opportunity to share their creations. As time went on, the very moment that content started to be funded by sponsors, the platform changed. Decades later, the platform--and believe me when I say this--is controlled by sponsors and ads. A lot of people don't realise this because we all have our ad-block on. We work tirelessly not to have to consume media peddled to us with agendas and propaganda; we pay for software so we don't get it.

We accepted Youtube charging some of us monthly so we don't see ads, so we can enjoy the platform more comfortably. If you're in your early-to late 30s then you know that Youtube crafted a whole lot of our experience online but it has not gone without changes. The ad breaks are now populated with sponsors with a big list of prerequisites and we sit there and guffaw through a straight 40 seconds of a creator peddling fast-fashion, cheap drinks with poison in them, platforms that sell $1 items off the backs of slave labour, and knives that don't even work just so we can sit back and pretend we'd rise to the occasion when an opportunity to practice socialism presents itself.

Well, here's the bad news. Socialism does not mean you sit back and get everything handed to you. That is literally right-wing propaganda. Socialism is every one taking a piece of what they have to crowd-source the things we want. It is letting artists be artists to create things that do not contribute to consumerism/corporate culture.

In the end, the internet has shown me that all these LARPING children believing in the future where shit gets handed to them off the backs of other people's hard work will open their greedy maws and scream slurs, insults, and backhanded statements at any creator who seizes control of the thing they've produced. You don't want to see artists grow; you want creators/artists strapped to the capitalism hamster wheel while they create the same trendy crap that sponsors tell you that you want until they burn out and retire.

The saddest thing of all is the irony of you calling that video sentimental nonsense when it shows you the story; it tells you that they all got started the way most of our favourite youtubers started but then Buzzfeed happened which may have opened some doors for them but if Ryan didn't fight tooth and nail, we would have had a Netflix show with some non descript white guy hosting it because that's the vision Buzzfeed saw. It's what so many of you see when you want the thing you like, that you watch them work tirelessly to make, to be free forever.

Of course they're too good for Youtube. Youtube is trash now and you're going to start to notice that very quickly now.

[tteokdoroki]

— thirst tweets + katsuki bakugou.

hey so your husband bakugou does buzzfeeds thirst tweet interview and uncovers something hilarious from your old fan account. kinda crack? mostly fluff and a little suggestive !! hence MDNI 18+.

like say he’s on some promotional tour abroad, he’s bee invited to some fashion week or something and they decide to invite him on since fans have been hounding for katsuki do it it for years— so he finally agrees to do it.

it’s early morning when they film, the earliest they could get him in to shoot the video before whatever other promos he has to do on his schedule so katsuki is only half awake and dressed as comfortably as can be. his hair sticks to his forehead, grey hoodie pulled over his head and a coffee in one hand even though he hates the taste but he wants some fucking energy for hell his fans want him to endure.

“let’s get this fuckin’ thing over with shall we?” bakugou grunts as the camera starts rolling, taking a long exaggerated sip of his drink as if to mentally prepare. “the name’s katsuki bakugou ‘n i’m reading your thirst tweets. whores— do i get fuckin’ therapy after this?”

the tweets mostly start off tame, a few comments about how cute bakugou is when he laughs, how his admirers would give up their whole lives for him. the typical stuff in which the pro hero only responds with. “lame. where’s the good shit, i wanna see how nasty you lot can be.” he laughs, ruby eyes drifting over more of the screenshots production had lined him up with. “pro heroes don’t deserve to be sexualised but i want you all to know i’d let pro hero dynamight with a mullet tear my shit up.” he reads the next one with a smirk, pulling back his hood to toy with his growing blonde locks. “should i be growin’ my shit back?”

from here, things start to get progressively worse— bakugou putting the phone down from time to time so he can through his head back in deep laughter, mumbling things like ‘this is so fucked up!’ ‘nah, these guys are fuckin’ nasty.’ ‘can somebody get this on a t-shirt?’ and he’s absolutely having the time of his life filming and reading out his fans’ dirty tweets.

“i’d like to thank whatever god let me be alive at the same time as katsuki bakugou,” he repeats the next tweet out loud, spreading his thighs to sit back in his seat. “i’m your god. ya should be thankin’ me.” the next tweet makes his brows furrow. “i would plaster my bussy on the sidewalk for dynamight— what’s a bussy?”

a few more roll by and the video is almost over but katsuki bakugou damn near loses his mind at the grande finale. “‘if i ever get the chance, i’m gonna make sure that katsuki bakugou, pro hero, aged twenty three, gets the most toe curling, life threatening heart stopping head and then I’ll let him sit on my face with that fat ass of his until i can no longer breathe.” bakugou’s face turns bright red, a snort tearing though his throat as he reads the handle ‘bakugouscumdumpster01’ and then the name of the handler too. “holy fuckin’ shit…where did you guys find this? do you know who this is? this is my wife’s account.”

he would recognise your name anywhere, the way you type and text is still the same as it was five years ago before he met you and gave you the bakugou name. the tweets on the rest of your account are funny, lusting after other pro heroes but most are dedicated to your husband katsuki. the blonde knows the editors will have to cut all of this footage out later but he can’t help but scroll through your tweets and replies under his old tweets from earlier on in his hero career— mentions of how proud you are of him, how much you love him.

and five years later nothing has really changed. you still adore him all the same.

“‘m gonna call her, just you wait. this’ll make good fuckin’ television.” katsuki wonders how much of his cursing they’ll have to censor out when it comes down to editing as he taps your number, smiling when your face flashes up during the dial tone until you pick up.

“hi baby, aren’t you shooting right now?”

your voice fills his heart with joy, beating loud in his chest he’s afraid the cameras might pick up the sound. “i am baby, missed ya though.” there’s a smile on that heart, big and proud when you giggle through the phone and tell him you missed him too— asking him what he needs, if he’s okay, caring about him tenderly in your special way. he hates to ruin it— by reading out the most dirty, disgusting thing you’ve ever said. katsuki repeats your tweet word for word, listening to how you go silent the more he talks. “so does this coupon expire…or?”

you whine, and bakugou knows if you were you would be slapping his chest right now even though you both know he can’t feel it through his big tits (you’ve also tweeted this). “kats! t-that was before i met you!” you squeal, voice trembling with embarrassment— sending his heart into overdrive. you’re so sweet you could give him a toothache. “ohmygod, it’s gonna be in the video. i’m gonna scream, i’m gonna—“

“you sure you’ll be able to do that while yer givin’ me life threatenin’ head, baby?” dynamight rasps, angling the phone at the camera. they might have to cut this too, but he doesn’t care, still being able to fluster his wife is his favourite thing. “c’mon sweets, for the camera?”

you’re quiet for a moment, probably still sulking that your old thirsts for your husband are being uncovered for his amusement. “i’ll give you more than just life-threatening head, kats. just wait until you get home.” you purr through the speaker, voice dropping an octave and katsuki can practically see the way you would look up at him, through your lashes, lips between your teeth. god, he could die. “love you honey.”

and with that, you end the call— the tone ringing out through the set, leaving a flustered bakugou in your wake in front of bright lights and rolling cameras. “i think that’s a wrap?” one of the producers says, snapping dynamight from his thirsty, thirsty thoughts.

“uh…yeah, ‘m katsuki bakugou ‘n this has been reading your thirst tweets.” bakugou grunts bashfully, with a soft smirk on his face, only imagining what nasty acts you’re going to do when he’s done with promotions.