#the whole family is hurt

[kkangkkangie]

Healing was a slow process. Some days, the progress was visible—other days, it seemed as if the progress stagnated or even going back the wrong way. There was only so much magical tea could fix—the rest of process was up to the person themself. Any metaphor could fit—gluing the broken pieces together only to find out that same piece could never fit again, sewing the torn tapestry back to its original glory to see that the bigger picture didn’t radiate the same meaning anymore. 

Wu mentioned that “growth originates from pain—the process of healing helps us visualize how much we’ve changed, so we must forge ahead and never look back.” 

Garmadon was different. He agreed that “growth originated from pain,” but there were “some things that should be realized from smaller consequences than traumatic experiences because pain doesn’t always lead to proper growth.” 

Minne decided that her life was simply a series of traumatic experiences so that she could catch up to her brothers’ experiences. Because who gave a shit for growth, when she was in pain? The sleepless nights—the inexplicable fear of the snow—all of it from the few months after she was deemed a “teenager.” 

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[iknowicanbutwhy]

"You could recite their lines perfectly for them" yeah? Well they can, too

Continuation of this.

[sorrelpaws]

>be me >make a friend >hang out with him >he gets hurts due to hanging out with me >mfw my only friend might die because of me

[aru-art]

[s68l]

you forgot who i was, and frankly, so did i.

[quietbirdee]

and I love you, and I'm glad, and I'm grateful you were here for me, you were kind to me, and I love you, I love you, I love you

[writer-room]

Hey. The Finders have no idea that Bonzle was captured. Fritz and Spitz are still waiting, playing video games in the Monastery, for Cole to bring their sister out of hiding now that the blood moon is over. Geo is still sitting by the window, watching and waiting for a dragon on the horizon to return his kid safe and sound. Cole took a very unsure Bonzle, assured them all everything would be okay, and they'd be back soon. He promised he'd find a way to protect her.

Don't think about how they'll smile when Cole finally trudges back, happy to know he's okay. Especially don't think about the Finders stopping, looking out over the group, and how Cole can't look them in the eyes when they turn to him and ask; where's Bonzle?

[im-getting-help]

AND THE THING ABOUT OLIVER AND BOUNDARIES!

Is so obvious to me that his parents were party at fault for his lack of boundaries. Not because they we're malicious and intentional about it, but because they loved him so much they tend to cross his limits.

(Kinda like what Oliver did with Felix, but less obsessive).

From my experience it's something relatively normal about the relationship between parents and their children. The first time we really understand boundaries is when we enforce them to separate ourselves from our parents expectations. It seems to me that Oliver never learned how to do that. He's constantly molding himself to appease and appeal, and when it becomes to much, he flees.

Let's go back to the little things Paula and Jeff share with us in that brief birthday scene.

"He always wanted to be an only child, always beetling off by himself"

"He was so clever, that's why he found it hard to make friends, they were jealous".

"It's been hard not seeing him. But it must be a lot of pressure being the top scholar and being in the rowing team, and the union, and the plays..."

Let's start with the lies.

How long ago Oliver started lying to his parents to make space for himself?

Cause the lies don't necessarily feel like something he used to impress them. It seems to me like the Quicks already thought Oliver was exceptionally smart "he was always so clever" and he's just keeping appearances.

But the amount of things he said he did. The plays, the rowing team, the union, the work of studying to maintain the "top scholar position" like reading, doing work and essays and projects, assisting to classes, lectures and tutorials, it's a lot!.

"It's been hard not seeing him". How many times Paula called just to be ignored or quickly dismissed? with an excuse like "sorry i have an essay due tomorrow" or "im going to practice for the play". And why Oliver wanted to separate himself so much from his family?

"He always wanted to be an only child, always beetling off by himself" why would Oliver wanted to separate himself not only from his parents but his siblings too?

The Quicks said that "We go to to Mykonos every year. Well, not anymore. Not now that the kids are all grown up". That makes me think that Oliver sisters are older than him. Oliver doesn't seem to have a close relationship with them either. Was it because of the age gap? How much older were her sisters? Maybe they had to babysit and that created a second-mother kind of dynamic?

It sounds like he was being smothered by them. And again, i'm not saying it was intentional, but maybe Oliver needed much more space that what the Quicks were able or willing to give. And he didn't know how to ask.

And maybe (only maybe cause i don't really have good foundation for this) Oliver learned that the best way to get space from them was saying he was occupied, specifically studying. So maybe it started at school, him saying that he had to finish homework or read a book or do project, and maybe these were the only times he'll be left alone. Maybe that was the perfect excuse to explain why he didn't have many friends too.

(and i wonder why a kid with no sense of boundaries would have a hard time making friends 👀)

And why Oliver keeps lying?

After moving to Oxford, he could've just draw back and create that space without making an excuse. But he didn't, because he cares, he likes that his family thinks he's intelligent and capable. But he doesn't care for spending time with them.

I don't think he said all those lies to look especially intresting or important, but he did choose to "be occupied" by being a good student. Not in a "i won an award for best performance" but a "I'm too busy to talk, i have tutorial"

And look at the way the Quicks react to Oliver saying he has to go, is very interesting.

Paula just gives up instantly. She offers a compromise, and when rejected she's obviously frustrated but she just lets it go. On the other hand Jeff tries to reason with his son a little "your mother spent all morning doing lunch" but they seem very accustomed to this situation. It's not the first time Oliver escapes a conversation.

So, to me, is obvious that Oliver's parents knowingly or unknowingly contributed to Oliver's lack of healthy boundaries.

He never really draw the line with them, he just made excuses to avoid and elude and ultimately flee when the situation got out of hand. And they never picked up on it, they kept repeating the same scenarios multiple times without having a conversation about it.

I feel like his parents never really confronted him about anything. Maybe because they didn't sense anything was wrong, maybe because, same as the Cattons, they didn't know how to approach the situation or maybe because they know Oliver gets really fcking upset whenever they tried to have a conversation about it, who knows.

So at the end we have a 20yo dude who never learned how to enforce a boundary or why is healthy to have them and has absolutely no idea how to perceive and not cross others limits.

[illya-roma]

DP x DC PROMPT

Jasmine Al'Ghul has her time divided into simple quarters.

Make sure Danyal Al'Ghul is well taken care of with the Fenton family ( no wonder anyone who bullies Danny or his friends end up missing [in this au]).

Teach and care for Damain Al'Ghul inside the league.

Train into becoming a better shadow and right hand for the next heir.

Complete missions for Ra Al'Ghul himself.

Fortunately, Taila has decided it would be for best for Jasmine to continue caring for Danyal as Damian goes to live with his father while she deals with the leagues problems and search for her missing father.

That means Jasmine will not be spending time with Damian during his ( sister time) six months. And he will realise that after she doesn't come after 8 months to his father's family/house.

Unfortunately for everyone, Damian refuses to live without his beloved elder sister, and will do anything to take her back.

---------

Now, do Damian and Danny hate each other for taking up sister time or do they love each other?

[bumblingbabooshka]

We must stop interpreting Tuvok's rejection of spice as indicative of Vulcans as a whole and focus in on it as an individual failing that falls on his shoulders alone...

[unepersonnelouche]

Disbarment/adoption reveal, but make it a silly low-effort comic

[autisticlancemcclain]

prev

“Indeed,” Coran says, cutting a glance back at the rest of the gathered team. He meets eyes with Keith, then glances at the stubborn way Lance distances himself from the rest of them, and purses his lips. “We have some matters of our own to settle, I believe.”

———

The walk back to the Castle is silent, and endlessly, endlessly tense.

Lance expected it to be. Well, kind of. He didn’t expect it to be easy. He’s grateful, at least, that he was allowed to say goodbye to Corduroy, to bite back his tears and hold the great beast tightly. He’s grateful at least that the team gave him that kindness, before this strainedness, the discomfort, the side-eyes and significant looks.

Coran isn’t mad at him, which is better than nothing. Coran slung his arm around Lance’s shoulder the second they left to the castle, the way Lance does to Hunk when he’s anxious, and walks next to him merrily humming to himself.

“You did the right thing, child,” he whispers as they climb the steps, lagging behind everyone else. “Were there things you could have done more gracefully? Yes. But you made the best choice and worked with what you had. I’m proud of you.” He presses a kiss to Lance’s hair and squeezes his shoulders gently, allowing Lance a moment to shudder an exhale and compose himself, before letting go and walking off, knowing Lance can handle himself.

Lance straightens his spine. He can handle this.

Everyone stops just inside massive front hallway of the castle entrance. Lance considers just marching forward to whatever room he likes and making them follow him, but he doesn’t quite have that much confidence. As unlikely as it may be, some part of him hopes that no one is even going to bring up this whole…thing. He hopes Shiro is going to clap his hands and say ‘great job, team’, and they’re going to split off to unwind as they always do after missions.

But of course not.

“So are gonna head to the briefing room, or…?” Hunk asks, wringing his hands.

For whatever reason, the idea of locking himself in the briefing room to sit at a table and discuss the matter as they usually do makes him want to throw up. The idea of going anywhere, or waiting even one half second longer to talk about the situation makes him feel like he’s going to explode.

“You promised that we were a team,” Lance blurts. He’s not sure who he’s addressing, and he’s not facing anyone, eyes trained to a random spot on the wall, but the words bubble out of him, as warbled and hurt as he feels. “But you left me.”

Lance can feel his eyes begin to burn, and the humiliation of it makes him hunch, makes the surety of Coran’s earlier words fade to the back of his mind. He can feel the lump in his throat grow larger and larger, feel the unsteady pound of his heart, but he can’t bring himself to move, to look around the room, to meet eyes with his teammates. He forces them open and keeps his gaze locked on the wall, unblinking, terrified to let the water he feels building start to drop, because he can’t afford to look weaker than he already does.

“I try—” He can’t quite manage to choke down the tears, and his voice comes out weak from the failure of it, not quite raspy but reedy, almost. “I try so hard. I know that’s not enough, but —”

“It is.”

Lance looks over, startled at the same choked quality the words have to his own, and finds Hunk in a similar state, cheeks wet and eyes blurry. The rest of the team, upon further inspection, do not look angry with him but distraught, and it shocks Lance, truly, because he knows that they love him, obviously they do, but then why was he less important? Why was his position the wrong one to have? Why was he not consulted with the same seriousness as a random dignitary from a not-yet-allied planet, if not moreso?

“You guys don’t trust me enough to make real team decisions,” he whispers. “I’m not — I’m not smart enough for you.”

Every face looks stricken. Coran, even, looks at Lance wide eyes.

But it is Keith who makes a strangled noise, a sound caught in his throat, and says “No, Lance, that’s not —”

— and something in Lance, that has been bent since yesterday, cracks in two.

“I trusted you the most,” he chokes out. He doesn’t say the words so much as flings them in Keith’s direction, barbed and pointed. “You’re my — you said I was your right hand. You said you couldn’t lead without me. You said there’s no one else you trust more to have your back.” His face twists. His next words are near silent, but nonetheless ring through the hall. “You lied.”

Keith’s hand, extended halfway between them, remains frozen, unmoving, as still as he is. The only part of him that moves is his chest, rapidly swelling and flattening with his quick breaths. Lance’s breathing is just as quick, heartbeat only racketing with every inhale, but none of it is actually managing to carry any oxygen to his lungs, and his vision begins to blur, limbs start to feel heavy.

“I just want to be your equal,” he manages, before his legs begin to give out from under him and he stumbles to the floor, barely managing to catch himself in a sitting position. He sees Shiro twitch out of the corner of his eye, either a startled jump or a reflex to catch Lance does not know, but ultimately he doesn’t move; none of them do, frozen in their spots.

For a while Lance sits there. At one point he puts his head between his bent knees, breathing heavily, blinking the spots out of his eyes. It takes his lungs a long time to start working properly, for every inhale to actually bring in air, but even then it’s shuddering. All the strength and stubbornness, and maybe even adrenaline, that has kept him up through this mission has leaked out of him. He is too weak even to stand.

He feels when someone sits down heavily in front of him. The floor vibrates slightly with the force of it, tingling at his palms flat on the floor.

“You make me nervous,” Keith says quietly. “I’ve never met anyone like you.”

“That’s a stupid cliche.”

“You’re a stupid cliche.”

Lance’s head is still between his knees, but he can almost feel the intensity of Keith’s wince, the force at which he cringes in on himself. It unfortunately makes him smile.

“…Sorry. Reflex.”

It’s not okay, really. But he’s getting there.

“It’s okay. You’re still learning how to express your big boy feelings.”

Keith kicks him gently on the ankle, and this time Lance looks up, meeting his wry smile.

“I really am,” he says softly. He holds Lance’s gaze for a moment, then his expression shifts to something more troubled, eyebrows creased and mouth turned down, although his indigo eyes hold the same softness.

“You do things…I’ve never seen anyone do what you do. No one can come close. No one else can coo at a fear demon spider, no one else can befriend man-eating vines, no one else can scoop up a scorpion. No one else can tame a grizzly bear the size of a house. That’s all you, Bug Boy.”

Lance’s breath hitches. Keith’s use of the nickname is deliberate, evident in the slow and careful way he said it, and it is a risk. He knows the history behind the name, and Lance’s history in general. Further still he recognizes the precocity of the situation they’re in.

But for the first time since Lance learnt what that nickname really meant, since he learnt how most of his peers felt about him, the name doesn’t sting. In fact, something like pride blooms in his chest, if cautious and surrounded by doubt.

“Then why didn’t you let me try my way? Why were you — why was everybody — so dismissive?”

Keith shrugs. “Honestly? I was floundering. I was completely out of my element and I was stressed out and I just chose the easiest option.”

“The option that was the least fair to you,” Allura summarizes, taking a seat next to them. “And I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” Hunk says. Pidge and Shiro quickly follow suit, earnest nods and leaky eyes, all coming to join Lance on the floor. On even footing. Coran’s hand comes to rest gently on his head.

“We will do better next time,” Shiro promises. “You have very distinctive strengths, Lance. I’ll be remiss to forget then again.”

“Ditto!” Pidge says, solemnly holding her hand up.

Lance considers making them squirm and really beg for it, but tears are actively streaming down his face, and also his mouth keeps trying to smile without his permission, so he decides to let it slide.

“I’ll hold you to that,” he threatens.

Keith grins at him. “Good, you Snow White-ass heart attack inducer.”

———

full fic

[fazgoo-connoiseur-1987]

Will actually being a children's entertainer for once god forbid

[citnamora]

The thing is.. Iris knows Dahlia won't change. She knows her sister is past the point of saving. Iris saw the corruption, firsthand, only because Dahlia is her sister. As identical twins, Iris was there from the day Dahlia was born to the day that she died. She witnessed the progressive distortion of her sister. But they share a face and once shared a name. Iris believes that she, herself, is proof that Dahlia could have grown and matured as she had. And this is why even now when her sister has once again attempted to take a life, she can't bring herself to feel contempt. She will always love Dahlia even if she wanted to hate her because she will always blame herself, first.

[citrlet]

why is everyone like "oh it's sunny outside! it's such a beautiful day it's so gorgeous and wonderful and the world is great"

and then talk about rainy days like "it's disgusting outside I hate it it's nasty yucky awful everything is horrible id simply die if i went outside"