#then I'd be like ...OKAY FINE 🙄 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mulletmitsuya · 3 months

Text

Sano Groupchat (and closely affiliated)

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, the word necrophilia is mentioned twice, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of drugging, also a "description" of a penis (it's not what it sounds like i swear)

Side note: i've realized that my warnings without context, make me look like a crazy person so please bear with me 😔🙏

Desc: Mikey gets kidnapped by a crazy fan and so forth (i'm so bad at these, might remove them 💀)

Shinichiro: Mikey, we're glad to have you back. i'll release a statement saying you need to recover from the traumatizing situation you've just been through. just rest up okay?

Emma: yeah, we're here if you need anything :((

Izana: you're alive, so

Emma: Izana ☹️

Izana: ...

Izana: we are here to support you through difficult times

Izana: as your "siblings" 🙂

Shinichiro: what are the quotation marks for bud 😞✊?

Izana: my hand slipped

Shinichiro: oh okay then!

Mikey: guys

Shinichiro: Draken, how's the arrest going?

Draken: the girls trial is in a few weeks from now and she can't afford bail so she's locked up

Mikey: guys it's not that deep

Mikey: like, it's not as big of a deal as you're making it out to be

Izana: see? he's fine

Emma: YOU WERE MISSING FOR 2 WEEKS

Emma: YOU WERE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED BY A CRAZY FAN. IT'S A BIG DEAL

Mikey: but they didn't hurt me?? they made all my favourite snacks and food and tucked me into bed every night. which maybe was a little weird but i still liked it. i had a very good time actually. so why are we arresting her? she's chill fr

Draken: that's all she did?

Baji: how do you know she didn't drug you in your sleep and do things to you 🤨

Mikey: bro?

Shinichiro: Keisuke, that's a very sensitive topic for some people, so let's not say it so casually okay?

Baji: what?

Baji: is it a long shot to say Mikey was touched or something?

Baji: i mean, what other motives did she have

Baji: and you guys saw her tweets right? she's obsessed with you

Baji: wasn't she the one who calculated the circumference, length, girth and colour of your penis??

Draken: no that's another one

Baji: nvm

Baji: that was Haruchiyo

Haruchiyo: fuck off

Mikey: Baji we literally go to onsens together with Haruchiyo. you've all seen my penis 😐

Baji: hard and soft are two different things

Baji: you pervert

Haruchiyo: it wasn't me, what the fuck?

Haruchiyo: i'm too famous to be risking my reputation like that

Haruchiyo: i'd need a burner account no one could access, which i don't have

Haruchiyo: so no Baji, i don't have a Mikey fanpage

Haruchiyo: that would be crazy and weird and bordeline insane

Baji: i didn't say any of that?

Baji: and you are all 3 of those things🤨

Mikey: well whatever cause everyone was wrong. it's small

Mikey: you know what it's not even small. it's average for my size, actually

Mikey: i mean i'm 5'3 yk. what did people expect

Mikey: like, it would look weird if i had a big one

Mikey: it would be disproportionate to have a big one

Mikey: i see people saying "i know it's big😍" or stuff like "i wanna gag on it"

Emma: gross

Emma: why are you telling us this 😟

Mikey: which i find really flattering

Draken: flattering isn't the word i'd use

Mikey: yeah thats cause you're a fucking prude, Ken-chin

Draken: it's cause i have a wife, jackass

Emma: 😊❤

Mikey: but seriously it wouldn't make sense for me to have a big penis

Baji: excuses excuses 🙄

Mikey: my penis is fine

Baji: they gave you dick dysmorphia

Mikey: whatever it's not like i'll use it anyway

Baji: bottom?

Mikey: i just don't like sex 😐

Izana: are we here to listen to Mikey talk about his small dick or what

Shinichiro: yeah maybe we should... not

Mikey: well, yours is skinny so whatever

Shinichiro: no it's not 😕

Shinichiro: i've had many people compliment me for my size, actually

Izana: "many"

Izana: "people"

Mikey: we know it's not girls, just say you fuck men (Wakasa) dude

Baji: no girl wants you bro

Baji: (isn't it Takeomi?)

Mikey: (Takeomi is violently homophobic)

Baji: (oh yeah)

Haruchiyo: what are you guys doing

Mikey: (whispering)

Haruchiyo: you guys are texting

Haruchiyo: we can all see this

Haruchiyo: are you fucking dumb

Haruchiyo: not you, Mikey

Mikey: thanks Haru 😋

Baji: he was doing it too???

Baji: i get why Takeomi was homophobic 😒

Baji: (when are you going to address his crush on you, Mikey)

Mikey: (it's not a crush, you ever heard of bff's, Keisuke🙄?)

Baji: (that's like saying me and Kazutora are bff's)

Mikey: (you are?)

Baji: (i'm in love with him)

Mikey: (oh yeah)

Mikey: (but Haru isn't in love with me)

Baji: (he probably creams his pants when you use that nickname)

Haruchiyo: i can see this

Haruchiyo: you aren't "whispering"

Haruchiyo: IT'S A FUCKING GROUPCHAT

Draken: does this matter?

Draken: we were talking about the fact that Mikey was kidnapped

Draken: Baji is right, something really bad could have happened if they have you longer

Draken: along with the statement, we need to talk to your fans man

Draken: this is a line crossed

Baji: no shit

Baji: also, why didn't you, i don't know, fight back and escape or something?

Mikey: i didn't want to hit a girl 😔

Mikey: like i said, i enjoyed my time there

Mikey: knew you guys would find me eventually so it was like, a side quest

Draken: of course you'd call a kidnapping a side quest

Emma: how'd she even kidnap you?

Mikey: she saw me at a convenience store and they'd run out of my favourite sweeties

Mikey: and i was whining about it to the cashier, so i guess she overheard

Mikey: and she said she had some in her car

Mikey: so i go there with her

Mikey: then she asked for an autograph

Mikey: then i'm pretty sure she drugged me with chloroform or something cause i was out

Emma: chloroform isn't like the movies. it takes a while to knock someone out, so that's not really likely unless you stood there and took it

Mikey: ...

Mikey: ok fine, do you want me to say i fell asleep in her car? huh?

Mikey: cause that's what i did

Izana: it's like you *want* to die or something

Izana: nvm

Baji: are you stupid or something

Draken: Mikey

Draken: you are 25 years old

Draken: and you're telling me

Draken: that you fell for the "hi kid, want some candy?" trick

Draken: are you fucking serious

Shinichiro: Mikey...

Shinichiro: you could have gone to another store 🙁

Shinichiro: i almost lost you

Shinichiro: because of jellybeans? really?

Mikey: they're my favourite sweet okay ☹️

Mikey: and i was lazy and tired

Mikey: hence, falling asleep

Baji: he has to have necrophilia or something

Shinichiro: i don't think that's the word buddy

zana: "necrophilia"

Izana: didn't you graduate?

Baji: working on it 💪

Izana: ah alright

Izana: what's your IQ?

Baji: below average

Mikey: Baji, don't tell people that ☠️

Izana: ...

Izana: wow he actually answered me

Emma: *sigh*

Draken: what's the point of tying out your physical actions

Emma: shut up a little babe

Draken: ok

Emma: what Baji meant, was necormancy

Draken: that's incorrect, babe

Emma: omg can we just wrap this up

Izana: both of you are wrong 💀

Izana: what is wrong with you people

Izana: necrophilia= sexual attraction to a dead body

Izana: necormancy= communication with dead people

Izana: narcolepsy= condition characterized by an extreme tendency to sleep

Izana: i'm assuming you guys meant to say the third one, for Mikey

Izana: holy shit

Emma: no need to be mean about it 😒

Baji: i'll add those to my "new words" list

Mikey: maybe i do have that

Mikey: i do fall asleep in very odd places

Emma: you know what we can talk about this tommorow. time out

*only admins can send messages*

144 notes · View notes

enchantedbarnes · 1 year

Text

Uncle Buck • Part 5

Meddlingpunkitis

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Single Aunt!Reader

Word Count: 5.7k

Benji shot up from bed first thing in the morning, excited to see your first reaction after setting up his movie night.

He sat at the kitchen table waiting. You eventually walk in to grab a drink from the fridge and then walk back out as if it was a regular morning. Why did he only get a passing noogie?

Benji quickly looks over at his dad sitting next to him, "Aren't people in love supposed to be like, floating and all dopey looking??"

Theo finishes a sip of his coffee, "Not necessarily. If you're talking about your aunt, I've never seen her, as you describe, 'dopey in love.' Also, it is 6 in the morning. It's a miracle she's even awake right now. If you see her looking happy and 'floating' at 6am, I think we have a body snatching case to worry about instead."

Benji let's out an annoyed grunt as he scoops up the last of his eggs into his mouth and storms out of the kitchen.

Theo shrugs to himself, taking another sip of coffee while scrolling through emails on his laptop.

"That should be promising," he mutters to himself.

Benji stops in your doorway, "Are you and Bucky official yet?"

"Official...ly human? I'd say 90-99% for sure. Verdict is still out."

"Is he your boyfriend now?" He clarifies with a huff.

You shrug while sipping your drink, looking through your closet for today's outfit.

"You're the most frustrating person alive," he stomps off.

-----

Strolling through the aisles, you and Benji were out on a shopping trip after you picked him up from school to pick out decorations for the upcoming holiday season and your annual Christmas party.

Benji riding at the front of the cart, his feet on the basket underneath and hands holding onto the front while pointing which direction you should steer and which aisles to stop at next.

"Sorry dude, 6 bags of family size sour patch kids didn't make the budget cut." You stop him as his arms reach out to grab as many as they can hold.

"How about 4?"

"You can grab one," you hold up a finger, "of the smaller sharable sizes, final answer."

"Fiiiine," he tosses the smaller bag into the cart, "What about peanut slim shady's?"

"Alright, one bag of peanut slim shady's too," you agree.

You told him when he was around 4 years old that M&M's were called Slim Shady's because the rapper Eminem invented them. None of you have had the heart to correct him or teach him otherwise as he got older and you hope he never stops calling them Slim Shady's.

The look on his little face when you had joined in taking him trick or treating shortly after that...

Benji gleefully skips over to you in his little werewolf costume while shouting, "Looks! I got slim shady's!" Holding the tiny packet of candy up to you, waving it over his head.

"The real slim shady's?!" You asked in reply, trying to keep a straight face.

He nodded back enthusiastically.

"We need to grab some new string lights since we used some for the movie room. Maybe a new tree topper too.." you listed off.

"No! We can't replace tree monster!"

"I thought you hated tree monster?"

"It's a part of the tradition now!"

"Okay, okay. Tree monster rides again another year then. How about a new tree skirt? Does the Christmas Tradition Committee agree with that?"

"Mm…. Yeah, that should be fine."

"Your mom texted with a reminder to grab more garlands for the stairs banister," you read aloud while looking at your phone.

You texted Bucky earlier before you left on your shopping adventure with a quick hello to check in with him and see how his day was going, sharing that you were picking Benji up from school.

You notice a reply from him that says,

'Stuck with Samuel today 🙄'

"Look at this pillow! It looks like a dinosaur chicken nugget!" Benji lifts the pillow up to your face.

"It's the most beautiful chicken nugget pillow I've ever seen."

"We should get it for Monty! Do you think they have french fries too???"

"If that's what you would like to get him, sure. Add it to the cart, bud."

"Yessss!" He cheers as he hops back onto the cart while singing a made up song about chicken nuggets.

Turning the corner to leave the aisle you slow down so you don't push Benji and the cart into anyone. Benji looks around the corner for you, "Clear!"

"Thank you, co-pilot."

You make your way over to the Christmas decorations finally.

"How about this ornament?" Benji asks with a wide grin while holding up a large ornament that says "Just Married" on the back of a car window.

"You're hilarious. Hold on while I search for an 'in memoriam' option," you playfully glare down at him.

"She likes it," he smirks to himself as he skips down the aisle.

"Hey, get back over here. Put that back, you gremlin!"

He giggles and turns out of the aisle.

"Benji, you know better than to leave out of my eyesi-"

"NO WAYYY! AHHHHH!" You hear Benji shout from the next aisle.

You ditch the cart and take off after him assuming the worst from his shouting.

You stop short when you turn the corner and see what the shouting was about.

"LOOK AUNT Y/N!"

"Heyyy Aunt Y/n," Sam grins while holding onto Benji who jumped up in an attack hug.

You breathe a sigh of relief, "Oh hey, Sam! Glad to see you here and not some stranger dragging this one screaming out of the store," you greet back with a relieved smile, "Benj you can't run off and start shouting like that. Can you give Sam his personal space back now please? Thank yooou."

Benji hops down, "Are you shopping for decorations too??" He asks excitedly.

"We were just-"

Benji let's out an exceptionally loud gasp as he looks ahead down the main aisle, "Future. Uncle. Buckyyy!!!" He takes off running again across the store.

Bucky's eyes widen as he spins around. He catches the projectile 8-year-old leaping at him with his right arm, while the left holds his shopping basket with items he was carrying.

Benji releases his arms from his death grip hug and cups his hands on both sides of Bucky's face, squeezing his cheeks till his mouth puckers.

"I'm so happy to see you!!!"

"M ha-py t' see y'too," Bucky muffles back. "What do you have there?" He asks once his face is released, nodding at the ornament Benji is still clutching between his fingers.

"If I show you, Aunt Y/n is going to make me sleep outside in a tent for a week."

"Is that so?" He looks over at you with an eyebrow raised while lowering Benji back to the ground.

"For the record, I never said that," you hold your hands up in defense, "but I wouldn't rule that option out completely," you shrug while walking over quickly and snatching the ornament, crossing your arms so it's tucked under and unseen.

Another awkward encounter to add to the tally.

"We're shopping for decorations," Benji grins while Bucky places his basket down next to him. "We have a Christmas party coming up! You'll come, right??"

Bucky is bent down at eye level with Benji, "Well, I'm not sure -"

"It's the Saturday the week before Christmas!" Benji starts rattling off the date and time of the party, listing who is expected to be there.

Bucky looks over at you, his eyebrows raised.

You shrug again, "Don't look at me, it's his world, we're just living in it. But yes, you're absolutely invited if you don't already have any plans. You too, Sam." You smile at them.

"Would it be rude if I bring a plus three? My sister and nephews are visiting," Sam asks.

"Are they Benji's age? We'd love to have them join too."

Benji pumps his fists, cheering to himself. "Yesss!" He skips ahead pulling Sam along, directing him towards the next few aisles while firing away questions about his nephews.

Bucky stands up and leans against the nearest end cap with a smirk on his face.

"Hi," his eyes narrow in suspicion as he quickly looks over at your crossed arms, "Are you really not going to show me whatever it is you're hiding?"

"Absolutely fucking not, thank you so much for asking."

He laughs at your answer while you try to think what to do next. "Fancy meeting you here though. What did Sam do to convince you to go shopping?"

"Oh, you know, good ol' fashion lies and deception."

"Ah, yes. Of course," you step closer, "The promise of food and future solitude to lure you out? And then the classic 'gotta make a quick pitstop' announcement halfway?"

He snaps his fingers and points your way, "That's the one."

You grin and hold your arms out in an invitation for a hug, making sure the ornament is tucked into your hand and sleeve. His smile softens when you step closer again and he accepts your hug.

"Happens to the best of us," you answer while trying to play it cool. With your arms around him, you give a slight squeeze that he returns. Reaching out your right arm very slowly to try and tuck the ornament on the shelf behind him discreetly. Your plan was to hide the ornament behind the larger items on the shelf behind him. Nothing gets by the super soldier though. As he goes to turn his head to see what you're up to, you have to think fast on a distraction and quickly leave a peck on his cheek that was now in front of you.

His eyes widen slightly as his head swivels back over at you and then narrow in suspicion. You finally drop the ornament as quietly and quickly as you can. He goes to turn again, this time lifting you off the ground and turning both of you for him to better see. Grabbing his face with both your hands now you continue to plant quick kisses all over.

"Is it that bad?!" He laughs, beaming over at you.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm also just so happy to see you," you feign innocence while trying to pull away. He squeezes you closer while tickling at your sides. You break into laughter as you continue to try and break free.

Sam and Benji both poke their heads around the aisle and smirk at each other, sharing in a discreet high five, before ducking back into the aisle out of sight.

Ornament now forgotten, Bucky doesn't take his eyes off you as you both smile warmly at each other. He quickly lifts you again and starts walking you both towards the direction the other two went. Pausing quickly he leans in with a smirk and gives you a quick kiss before continuing to shuffle the both of you forward.

You send a warning text off to Bucky the morning of the Christmas party:

'hi... just a quick heads up for tonight (and I mean that warning literally...) Benji has covered the house in mistletoe. Latest scheme seems to be getting us under all of them at some point. How would you like to proceed?'

'10 - 4. Do we get to mess with him?'

'Absolutely. 🫡 See ya tonight, friend.'

'Later, pal 🙄'

-----

Walking into the living room carrying a plate of snacks, a knock on the door grabs your attention and you hurry over to open it. Opening the door with one hand, while still balancing the snacks in the other. You spot the giant kissing ball hanging above the porch and roll your eyes.

Bucky and the Wilson's arrive at the same time as one of Theos's coworkers. You quickly greet them and usher them all through the door.

"Daaang, look at you. Your hair is so long," Sam comments walking in.

"Don't get used to this. I do not have the patience for this. Prudence insisted on straightening and styling it for me."

"Noted," he chuckles, "Did you add more colors, or were these always there and hidden in the curls?"

"I added more in. Benji used to tell his friends at school I was part My Little Pony."

"You had a pony..? I think I'm missing a reference," Bucky asks.

"It was a popular set of toys and an animated show called My Little Pony. It was colorful ponies with bright colored hair."

"Right...of course..."

This gets a small laugh from you as you place the snack tray on one of the many tables set up.

"YOU CAME!" Benji shouts running into the room.

Greetings and introductions made, Nora rushes over to say her own hellos and takes the Wilson's to meet the other kids that have arrived so far. Benji looks up at you expectantly. There's another sprig hanging above nearby, you just have to take 4 or 5 steps closer towards Bucky.

You stare back at Benji, not moving from your spot. "What are you lookin' at?"

He huffs and goes to catch up with Nora.

You move closer and kiss Bucky on the cheek, "This should be fun." Nodding your head up, "Quick recap, I've counted 6 so far. Best placed one is over by that bookcase," you tilt your head towards it, "He angled it juuust right so you don't notice it until you directly stand in that corner there."

"I don't know, you look very beautiful all dolled up. Might not be able to stick to this plan."

"You clean up pretty well yourself, but I'm not letting him win. Sorry." You pat his shoulder as Prudence and Monty steal Bucky away and you finish setting the last of the snacks and napkins out.

The front door opens as more people arrive.

Included in the latest arrivals is your neighbor Frank who walks in with his niece.

Benji walks by Bucky nodding his head "discreetly" towards the door and mouths, "Frank." He then mimes sticking his finger in his mouth and gagging while he continues to scramble away and stand near Nora once again.

-----

You're chatting with Sarah on the couch. Benji walks up and throws himself dramatically across your lap. "Hi, are you going to sit here all night?" He asks.

"Maybe, what's it to you?"

"Can we make gingerbread houses?"

"Prudence already set everything up on the kitchen counter, knock yourself out."

"But I need adult supervision."

"For what? To stop you from eating frosting? There's no tools involved."

"Moral support and guidance in knowing I'm doing something right. What if I put up 5 walls by accident?"

"Then I'd be very impressed from afar at your architectural brilliance."

He groans and rolls off your lap, walking away.

"The drama," you roll your eyes, "Do you think Aj and Cass would like to join him? We have plenty of kits."

"I'm sure they'd love that. I'll go ask them, thank you so much."

-----

You were now standing no more than three feet from the kitchen entry that had a bundle of mistletoe hanging above it. Sam and Nora standing to the left of you, the kitchen entry to your right. A table is behind you with a bowl of family friendly egg nog set up on it. Frank approaches you and the table. You greet eachother with friendly hellos and you introduce him to Sam. As they shake hands you take a few steps back to move out of the way of the table, offering Frank an empty cup.

In taking those steps back you were now dangerously close to the mistletoe-trapped entry with Frank still next to you. As you're asking how his niece is doing, you feel something hit the back of your head. Nora tries to discreetly cover her mouth to shield her reaction.

Your hand flies up to brush through your hair as you look at the ground. At your feet you see a gumdrop and a small gingerbread chunk laying there. You whip your head up and glare into the kitchen.

Benji's hands fly up in fake surrender, "It slipped! I told you I need adult supervision! These gingerbread pieces are crazy!"

The group of kids giggle as they pause their decorating to watch.

"Oh, I'll show you something crazy," you step into the kitchen and Benji takes off, ducking around you to escape. He slips in front of Theo and his co-workers playing it up like he was intently listening to their conversation, as if he had been there the whole time fake nodding along.

"Stop terrorizing your aunt," Theo says without even needing to assess the situation.

Benji clutches his chest, "I would never."

Bucky smirks into his drink as he watches from across the room. Quickly returning his attention to Monty and Prudence next to him.

Benji eventually sneaks his way back into the kitchen when all eyes and attention were finally off him.

-----

A couple times now you have taken turns in frustrating Benji to no end.

You're currently standing innocently under one of the many mistletoe, taking a sip from your glass in hand. You could see Benji in the corner of your peripheral trying to hide under a table. Bucky then walks by slowly. Benji's hands clench into anxious little fists in front of him, his small head poking up from the table ever so slightly. You and Bucky exchange a quick passing pleasantry to each other as he continues to walk by without stopping. Benji drops his head to the floor, groaning in frustration.

You smirk into your drink as you take another sip.

Nora and Theo have taken a different approach for the night and keep purposefully stepping under every mistletoe near Benji and giving each other exaggerated loud kisses. "Ugh, gross. Will you two stop it!" He crawls out from under the table and takes off across the room.

-----

"Hey, Y/n? Question for you..." You and Bucky both walk over to Sam who was standing by your decorated tree, "What am I looking at here?" He points to the top of the tree.

Bucky squints at the tree, his head tilting in confusion.

"That's tree monster..." You answer with a shrug.

"Tree what now?"

"We didn't have an official topper for our tree. Every year we'd just use a random toy up there. Benji came home from kindergarten one day with this masterpiece. I don't know what toy it used to be, but he sure did a number on it. And then I jokingly stuck wings to it thinking 'surely this will make us rethink this situation and get something else' but I was very mistaken. Theo added some googly eyes. Nora added the halo and reinforced it a bit...It's a complete abomination but we love him."

"It's deeply unsettling to look at, but I'm happy you have expressed your creative side as a family."

"I disagree," Bucky answers, "I think every store should have one, so that all families can enjoy having such a creative nightmare on their trees as well."

"Aww, thanks Bucky. I'm sure we could whip something up for you!" You joke.

"Ya know, I don't have a tree. So, darn...won't be needing one. Thanks for the offer."

"You don't have a tree??"

"A crypt has more decorations than this man's home. His place looks like someone moved out yesterday and left behind what they couldn't fit in the U-Haul."

"Thank you, Samuel."

-----

Your cousin Andrew arrives fashionably late with his wife Elyse and their 6 year old daughter Phoebe.

Phoebe squeals and runs up to Benji, throwing her adorable pudgey arms around him in a tight hug. His arms still at his sides while she squeezes tight, giggling with tiny glee. Benji always pretends to be annoyed but you all know he loves the attention. He pulls one of his arms free, patting her on the top of her head. "Hello, Phoebe. I'm glad you're here, I have a mission for you."

"Me??" She grins up at him while jumping up slightly.

"Ohh yeah, definitely you," he guides her across the room away from the adults.

"Andy!" You greet him with a hug when he walks up to you with Elyse, "Where's my Phoebs?" You look around his legs.

"She's -" he looks down and around the room, "She's in the building, she walked in before me. She saw Benji and took off with him."

"That can't be good," you laugh and introduce Andy and Elyse to Bucky, Sam, and Sarah.

During your conversation Bucky suddenly catches his balance and looks down as he feels a small body crash into him and wrap their arms around his legs.

Bright hazel eyes with a Cheshire smile beam up at him, the large grin showcasing her missing front bottom tooth.

"Hello there," Bucky laughs, greeting his new small friend.

"Hi, Uncle Bucky!" she giggles while Bucky's eyes widen.

"Oh no, it's contagious. Meddlingpunkitis has spread to the next youngest," you gasp dramatically while bending down to scoop up the giggling little blonde, "What will we dooooo?!" You cry out, "Not my little Phoebe!" You bend over again with her in your arms, hanging her upside down while tickling into her sides.

She giggles and squirms, trying to escape.

-----

Benji walks up with his gingerbread creation in hand on a platter. "Ta-daaaa," he sings, holding it up to you.

"Wow! Great job, Mr. I Need Supervision. Is that...?"

Benji rotates the plate so the front is now in better view. "It's a chapel!" He grins.

"That better be Mr. and Mrs. Claus..."

Closer inspection revealed one gingerbread figure with a black and yellow frosting lined arm and a bowtie, the other decorated with multi color frosting hair in a white outline "dress".

”You're exhausting, you know that? One part of me is really proud of you, because you did an amazing job on this. The other part really wants to smother you....with love of course," you give him a side eye, "Go put that back in the kitchen and never speak of this again."

Benji grins as he turns and retreats back towards the kitchen area, sneaking in a quick detour to show Sam his handywork. Sam immediately pulls his phone out to snap a quick picture of Benji holding it up to the camera with a grin.

-----

"I have an idea but it might be a tiny bit of a gamble and slightly outrageous.." you whisper to Bucky as you finally reunite in the same area.

Nora had just finished forcing everybody to gather around to take a series of group photos.

You've successfully dodged all the mistletoe encounters so far.

"How outrageous are we talking? I'm not kissing Sam."

"Oh come on, I wasn't asking that - unless-" you hold up your fingers to your chin in thought.

"No." He points a quick finger towards you.

"Okay, okaay. Fine."

You lean in closer and fill him in on your next plan.

"...you want me to kiss your neighbor?"

"Obviously the objective here is to avoid you actually needing to kiss her, but it's a sacrifice for the greater good here if it's unavoidable, Buck. Or we could go back to your Sam plan," you smile as sweetly as you can over at him.

"Y'know, at first I didn't recognize it, but now I definitely see that same evil little twinkle that's usually in Benji's eyes, and let me tell you," he leans closer, bending slightly to reach your height and points at your eyes, "It's absolutely genetic. You should see yourself right now."

"You think my eyes twinkle?" you grin up at him.

"Y/n," he sighs but starts to laugh.

"Pleeeease," you unleash the pout.

"That," he points at you again, "is even worse. You're serious?"

"Aren't you like, trained in stealth? You can do it!"

"Thank you so much for the pep talk, but I still don't understand why you want me to kiss your neighbor."

"You are so hung up on that tiny detail! I can assure you, it will not get that far. I had baked goods and candy launched at my head when I got too close earlier, I can't even begin to imagine what stunt will happen if you get close enough. He's probably gonna lower himself down from the ceiling somehow like something out of Mission Impossible. Oooor, if you don't wanna kiss Sam, I'll just gooo--" you start to step away but a hand shoots out and stops you, pulling you back to your original spot.

He glares over at you, "Not funny."

"A little funny?" You squint while pinching your fingers.

"Unbelievable," he places a quick kiss to your temple and releases your arm as he storms off towards the next target area.

"Go get 'em, tiger!" You call after him, just loud enough so only he's the one to hear you.

"It's white wolf," he mutters back.

"For real?"

Bucky starts to approach your neighbor who is standing under one of the many mistlebombs hanging around, this one strung up above a popular gathering area of the living room.

Before he can get within 3ft of dear sweet unsuspecting Sylvia, yelling erupts in the room with a chorus of AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!s. Suddenly 3 small bodies take down the super soldier. Benji leading the charge grabs onto an arm and attempts to climb up Bucky's back while Sarah's boys both tackle a leg of their own, making sure to get him at the back of the knees in their takedown.

Your eyes widen as you watch the group of them land in a heap on the floor.

You hold your breath waiting to see if you should run over and check on them but let out a relieved sigh when Bucky gives a dramatic roar and starts play fighting back with them while sitting up. The boys giggling and continuing their shouting and attack.

"Tiny savages," you shake your head.

"Should we help?" Nora asks walking up to you.

"Nah, I'm sure they're fine," as soon as the words are out of your mouth, sweet little Phoebe, not wanting to be left out of the excitement, joins in and hops onto Bucky's back, throwing her little arms around his neck.

"Oh shit. Hey, White Wolf? Ya good?" You hold your thumb up and then down.

You see a vibranium thumb pop up.

"See? He's got this."

-----

It was starting to get late. Most of the guests have already left. You're finishing up clearing off some of the tables with help from Bucky.

"You're our guest, you're not supposed to be doing clean up labor."

He shrugs, "I don't mind."

"Where'd you get the bracelet?" You laugh noticing the multi color beads circling his wrist.

"Phoebe gave it to me on their way out," he twists his wrist so the rest of it is in view.

"So stylish," you compliment while stacking some plates together.

Sam walks up with a tired AJ carried on his back.

"Y/n, as always, it's been a pleasure. Thank you so much for inviting all of us."

Sarah walks up carrying Cass who is already knocked out.

"Of course!" You pull him in for a hug, "Thank you so much for coming. It was an absolute pleasure having you all with us. Bye AJ, it was nice meeting you," you reach up to give him a fist bump that he sleepily returns.

"I hope you all can visit again soon," you pull Sarah in for a hug next and run your hand along sleeping Cass' back, "Merry Christmas!"

"Do you guys need any help?" Bucky asks while passing Sarah her bag and another bag filled with cookies the boys decorated.

"Nope, we're good. Theo is grabbing a taxi for us. You coming with?"

Bucky looks at his watch and nods with a shrug, "Probably a good idea."

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night," Sam waves while walking off towards the door.

"Wait!" Benji rushes down the stairs with two red envelopes.

"For you," he hands one over to Sam, "Merry Christmas!" He jumps up for a high five.

"Is this my wedding invitation finally?" Sam holds the envelope up to the light.

You give him a push towards the door, "It's a Christmas card. Get out of here."

"Sure, sure. See you at the wedding!" He smirks while stepping outside.

You shake your head and start to follow them out.

"Cab should be here in 5," Theo announces by the doorway before going back inside.

You step out onto the porch and give the Wilson's a final wave while they wait by the curb, checking out the neighbors light displays and decorations.

The large kissing ball with multiple mistletoe jammed in there hangs above you, dangling from the short roof over the porch.

Benji hops out onto the porch with Bucky following behind, pulling his leather jacket on.

"For you!" Benji hands the last envelope to Bucky, "Merrryyy Christmas!" He wraps his arms around Bucky's waist.

"Merry Christmas, bud. Thanks for the card."

Benji stares at him expectantly and then looks over at you.

"Am..I.. supposed to open it now??" Bucky asks.

Benji shrugs, still staring you both down, "You don't have to."

You scratch at your neck and try to discreetly point up, signaling to Bucky why the stare down was happening. His eyes follow up and you see him realize what's going on.

"Ok, I'll save it for later then. See ya," Bucky holds his hand up for a high five to Benji, who gladly winds back his arm to give the strongest high five he could.

Benji quickly realizes standing right there isn't going to get him the results he wants and he starts walking slowly back inside, "See ya, F.U.B.!"

Bucky's eyebrows scrunch while looking at you.

"I'm assuming that's Future Uncle Bucky," you sigh and answer for him.

"Ah," he grins, "Thanks again for having us, pal."

"You're very welcome, friend. One more fake out for the road?"

Bucky leans in close, you both tilt your heads, he slowly lifts his hand.. and pretends to pluck an eyelash off your cheek.

"Got it," Bucky jokes while pulling back, pretending to blow the lash off his finger.

"OH MY GOD! WILL YOU JUST KISS ALREADY?!" Benji throws his arms up in exasperation, closing the front door with a loud thump behind him.

You both try to hold in your laughter and keep a straight face, but Sam's laughter echos loud and clear. You peak over and see Benji ducking down from the window.

Keeping your platonic facade going, you both give an exaggerated firm hand shake. You can feel the intense laser focus stare coming at you from the windows again.

"Goodnight, ol' chum. Let me know when you get home safe, please."

He gives you a salute and you go to turn the doorknob but nothing happens. You shake it and push against the door.

"Locked you out?"

"Yuuup," you pull your phone out and pull up your bank app. Nodding to yourself, "Yup, okay. Bucky, break the window."

"..What?"

"Break the window," you point to the pane of glass, more specifically the one you know the watch guard was staring out of behind the sheer curtain.

"What??"

"I'm going to pay for it, come on."

He stares at you like you've grown an extra head.

"Fine, we can use the spare key if you wanna be all boring about it. I'm going to need a boost," you step closer to the edge of the porch, looking up at the roof covering the porch.

"A boost?"

"What? You think we keep our spare key under the mat like a bunch of fools?"

"Or, hear me out..." He reasons, "You call Nora and you can use the door without the need to scale your roof or smash in a window."

"Booo," you pout up at him.

"There is another option..." he steps closer.

"I'm listening..."

He gives a subtle nod to the door where no doubt you can still feel a pair of eyes burning into your head through the window.

"Aw man, but then the tiny tyrant will win."

"Does it still count if you kiss this guy?" He reaches into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulls out a Ziploc bag, holding up the "Bucky" gingerbread man Benji decorated.

"Oh my god," you laugh and swat the cookie away from your face.

"Fine, I'll put him back with the missus," he lifts up another Ziploc bag high enough so you can see the colorful "hair" frosting peak out of the pocket signalling he also has your gingerbread person in there and tucks both back into the pocket.

"Unbelievable, do you have the building in there too?"

He grabs your right hand and pulls you in closer, wrapping your arm around his neck. "Nah, left that for the next confectionery nuptials."

You shake your head with a laugh and bring your other arm around his neck.

"Thanks for dealing with us, once again," you smile up at him.

"Phoebe was a nice addition this time. Do you get to see her often?"

"Just the occasional family gathering and birthdays. Definitely not often enough. I'm sure Andy would be more than willing to pawn her off for a night or two if asked. She's just as mischievous as Benji though. Her mischief is more animal based. Her teachers call her a Disney princess because she tries to befriend every animal she sees. She also tries luring many squirrels and wild life into their house."

"Yikes," he laughs.

"Ride's here, Buck!" Sam announces while helping Sarah and the boys get in.

He gently grabs your waist with his vibranium hand and brings his right hand up your neck, moving to cradle the back of your head. You see a bright flash of light come from the window and before you can investigate further Bucky quickly dips you backwards while giving you a sweet and tender kiss. Your grip tightens around him, giggling in surprise.

"I want a copy of that," Bucky points towards the door when he lifts you back up.

"Copy of what?" You ask, a little dazed still.

Benji cracks open the door with Nora's camera in hand, "We have a ring doorbell too. I'll send the video link with it."

"Excellent, thanks. Goodnight, Doll." He smirks and gives you another quick kiss before turning to meet up with the waiting taxi.

-----

The next day you receive a text:

'This is getting framed.'

Attached was a picture of Benji's Christmas card stuck to Bucky's refrigerator by a magnet.

Sorry for the long wait! You rush a miracle, you get rotten miracles. If you'd like to see more, send me your ideas. 😉

Dividers I believe were from @firefly-graphics

Next: Part 6 I Caught Fire

Taglist: @pono-pura-vida @bitchy-bi-trash @random-writer-23 @jvanilly @clintsupremacy @eatingtheworldsoffanfiction @firstcashheroathlete @stany0url0calwh0res111 @sjsmith56 @eliwinchester99 @tbhidkbutok @babymady @shaking-a-jar-of-bees @its-daydreamer23 @capswife @thecubanator2 @wintermunsonreads @buckybarnessimpp @moon-light1928 @emily-roberts @jeanbarton @lottiehernandez @tellenically @trixxietat @imdoingbetternow @maximoffrogersslut @samsgirl93 @lovebittenbyevans @inwhichiramble @jbuckybarnesfan @daemonslittlebitch @marvel88 @spiderman-stilinski @marvelfreakgirl @tinkerbelle67 @assassinscross @foolishwaitersblog @jasminex12 @buckysbaby-doll @kilikina34512 @rintheemolion @themorningsunshine @saranghaey @je-suis-prest-rachel @alovecraft @openup-yourmind @alicedopey @ilovetaquitosmmmm @sebbystanlover-vk @s0upm1x @ivorycrow19 @songoficecreamandfireworks

#uncle buck fic #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #marvel fic #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes series #bucky fanfic

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bluewxrld07 · 8 months

Text

Cut My Hair

Cole Caufield x female!reader x Ethan Edwards

Warning(s): Angst, situationships, intentions of smut, hints to cheating

A/N: will be a mix of instagram posts :) enjoy!

Summary: Based off of Tate McRae's song Cut My Hair

celebrity.news just posted a photo!

liked by yourusername, yourbff and 18,796 others

celebrity.news Young and famous hockey star, Cole Caufield, seen at a club in Montreal after a post game win Saturday night! But the twist? The girl in the photos is NOT his girlfriend, well known social media influencer and future sports broadcaster, yourusername!! Possible trouble in paradise??

Click the link in our bio to read the article, and see all the photos and videos!

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user1 Oh no poor y/n 🥺

user2 She is literally the sweetest human being, that's so sad. I can't imagine how hurt she is right now.

user3 She must be so heartbroken right now, that girl in the photo is such a fucking home wrecker!!!

user4 I hope she's okay :( Cole doesn't deserve a baddie like her!!

yourbff just posted a photo!

liked by yourusername, edwards.73, trevorzegras, and 111,741 others

yourbff Heartbroken, angry, sad, confused. Those are just a few I feel for you y/n. He doesn't deserve a real girl like you. His loss baby, I'm so sorry. I'm headed your way right now, be there soon 💜

user has limited comments

user1 send her all of our love <3

jackhughes I am in awe. Let her know if she needs anything, I'll be there.

liked by yourusername

trevorzegras this shit isn't right. my heart goes out for her.

edwards.73 Lu and I are driving out right now. Should be there in twenty.

liked by yourbff

colecaufield I'm so sorry

comment deleted by yourbff

*one month later*

yourusername just posted a photo!

liked by yourbff, jackhughes, edwards.73, colecaufield, and 457,596 others

yourusername Just wanna cut my hair, lose myself, make u sweat

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user1 omfg YALL WAKE UP, MOM POSTED

user2 the hair color??? the BOB??? HELLO?!

user3 oh boy if this is her silently @ ing who I think it is, he's messed up with losing her

yourbff oh what is this? best friend is blessing my feed???

liked by yourusername

yourbff this bob and hair color was the move, my work here is done

liked by yourusername

jackhughes slay bestie

liked by yourbff

jackhughes He's a dumbass

liked by yourusername

user4 No because it is the fact that Cole liked this but didn't comment, speaks VOLUMES

user5 Cole done fucked up, she's about to slay this glow up

edwards.73 I'm bringing the vodka

yourusername please don't, I can't look at another thing of alcohol after last night lmao yourbff If he doesn't bring it, I will

yourusername just posted a photo!

liked by yourbff, edwards.73, colecaufield, and 601,978 others

yourusername just wanna cut my hair, little black dress, can't forget

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user1 I'm living for these Tate McRae lyrics

yourbff See??? I knew you'd post this one. Fucking hot ass best friend I've got, these men bouta be on the FLOOR tonight

user2 If she doesn't wind up under someone else tonight after what Cole did to her, I WILL CRY

user3 He be creeping on her page tho, I see his ass in those likes.......

tatemcrae a true goddess 😍

liked by yourusername

lhughes_06 I'm keeping an eye on you tonight

edwards.73 easy easy, I called dibs first yourbff Both of y'all put your dicks away, and chill out? After all it'll be me who takes care of my girly tonight 😙 yourusername None of you are taking care of me tonight, I'll be fine 🙄 edwards.73 That's what you said last weekend and whose bed did you wind up in.... yourusername shhhhh 😳 edwards.73 lhughes_06 kept me up most of the night edwards.73 Idk what you're talking about lhughes.43 yourusername me neither

user4 Am I sensing a lil sum sum between Ethan and Y/n???

User2 If it's happening, I neeeeeed to know because I'd be here for it

colecaufield 😧

yourbff just posted a photo!

liked by yourusername, edwards.73, lhughes_06 and 301,473 others

yourbff Just wanna show you, whatever she do, yourusername can do it better

tagged: yourusername, lhughes.43, markestapa, edwards.73

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markestapa What a fucking night

lhughes_06 I think I need a cleanse after that fiasco...

yourbff You sure it wasn't from the lake you boys decided to swim in at two in the morning?

lhughes_06 Don't remind me 😑 yourusername You guys were wilding' last night lhughes.43 markestapa says the wild one herself 🤔 lhughes_06 Yeah yourusername where did you and edwards.73 disappear off to? edwards.73 Nowhere yourusername Nowhere markestapa where tf did you come from edwards.73 edwards.73 I saw I was summoned, so I entered the chat yourbff All of you get out of my comments and argue in the group chat

user1 Ohhhh boy I smell quite the upgrade for miss y/n....

user2 If y/n is seeing Ethan Edwards I will die happy

user3 I'm so curious as to what's between those two rn. Whatever it is, y/n seems happier than when she did with Cole

liked by yourbff

colecaufield just posted a photo!

liked by jackhughes, kirbydach, trevorzegras, girlusername and 96,736 others

colecaufield Heard you got a new guy, that ain't fair

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user1 Nah because it's THE WAY he used Tate McRae lyrics from the same song yourusername has been using on her posts.....

user2 Cole my dude... she deserves better after you did what you did

jackhughes come on C you better than this

trevorzegras she deserves better bro, I'm with jackhughes on this one

girlusername See you soon 🥰

user1 lmfao this girl clueless as fuck user3 Oh honey.... you the home wrecker? sheesh.. user4 DAMN talk about a downgrade 🤣 liked by yourusername

user5 Y'all it's fine he's just depressed and in his feels because he be knowing he cheated and lost a good one

yourusername just posted a photo!

liked by edwards.73, yourbff, jackhughes, lhughes_06, trevorzegras, and 817,748 others

yourusername Just wanna get messed up, find myself, in his bed

tagged: edwards.73

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user1 I KNEW ITTTTTTTT

user2 now THIS is a pair I can get behind

user3 Their kids are gonna be literal heartbreakers wtf

yourbff about fucking time I was getting antsy. Now get dressed we have a brunch to go to today.

yourusername yes mommy 😣 lhughes.43 Can I call you mommy??? yourbff No yourusername No

edwards.73 Mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry.

yourusername Have you learned nothing?? edwards.73 you never said I couldn't call you mommy😝 yourusername You're unbelievable edwards.73 Do something about it🤭 liked by yourusername yourbff LET HER GET READY YOU ASSHOLE OR WE WILL BE LATE edwards.73 trevorzegras JOJO.....?? HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING...?! liked by yourusername, yourbff, edwards.73

jackhughes I feel like I need to cleanse my eyes from that conversation thread I just read 😨

yourusername You'll survive

liked by yourbff, lhughes_06, yourusername, markestapa and 778,240 others

edwards.73 Good girls, so overrated

tagged: yourusername

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user1 Wow now this is an upgrade. He gives her her OWN POST????

user2 Cole could never

user1 He was an embarassment

markestapa WOAH give us all a warning here fifty shades of grey!

yourbff Treat her like a queen, Edwards!!!!!!

edwards.73 No.... I'll treat her like a Goddess 🤩 yourusername How long did you wait to use that one? edwards.73 edwards.73 too long yourusername yourbff Long enough edwards.73

lhughes_06 Is the caption hinting that yourusername is a certified baddie?

yourbff yes edwards.73 yes yourusername yes markestapa yes jackhughes yes lhughes.43 Okay no need for the attack damn

yourusername My Eddy 🥰

edwards.73 My baby 😘

#cole caufield x reader #instagram post #social media au #hockey boys #hockey imagine #ethan edwards x reader #Luke hughes #jack hughes #trevorzegras #markestapa #romance #angst #Ethan edwards

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pokemonshelterstories · 2 months

Note

Have you ever encountered anyone (at the shelter or elsewhere) that's oddly- elitest?? about the regional variants they're used to seeing? I live in Unova, but I have an Alolan vulpix. I've never actually been to Alola, I found him abandonned (I assume anyway, he was 'wild' and they're not exactly native here) in the woods behind my house and ended up keeping him. Vulpix in general aren't particularly common here, but most people who see him are just interested by how different he looks to the vulpix they're used to.

But a few days ago I crossed paths with a guy who had a (Kantonian) ninetales, and the moment he saw my vulpix he started going off about how 'normal' vulpix were so much better than my 'weird' vulpix, started trying to get me to battle him to 'prove' it. Not fun!

But yeah, we're okay. A little freaked out but otherwise fine. My boyfriend arrived with his zebstrika and scared the guy off. Funny that he wanted to pick a fight with some guy who was just sitting on a bench, but not the guy with actual battle trained pokemon! 🙄 But anyway. I know I probably just encountered one particular jerk, but now I'm kinda curious if anyone else has dealt with people like that before?

wow, what a jerk! i don't know who he thinks he is to start insulting a stranger's pokemon out of nowhere.

honestly, while most people who have a regional variant of a pokemon tend to prefer that particular variant and might playfully "argue" with friends who own the other variant, it's rare that i meet anyone who's rude about their preference. i've also met plenty of people who happily keep both variants if their care needs aren't too different! i have a friend who works at blueberry academy who's having the time of his life with his two new pokemon- both raichu, one of each kind.

the only place i've ever really seen anyone get antagonistic about it is in show pokemon/contest circles. meowth variants in particular are usually the source of the argument. i don't ever like to judge people based on the kind of pokemon they own, but i've definitely had some unpleasant conversations in contest communities with people who have the most immaculately groomed alolan meowth and persian. overall, though, i'd say this guy was an outlier. sorry you had to run into him!

#charlietalks #pkmn irl #pokemon irl #pokemon care #pokemon variants

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a-zalea-garden · 3 months

Note

How do you feel about the pride comic so far? :D

I actually hadn't sat down to read it until I got this ask, but the snippets I'd seen were ADORABLE. I'm writing this as I read it for the first time:

pg. 1: "Hypnosis was so much easier" HE WOULD! And him rehearsing with Whisp is so sweet. I love that they tied her and their friendship into the story more; I kind of thought she was done for good. Valentine hitting his face on the locker is SUCH a diary thing, too. I don't know if it was meant to be a callback or anything, but that's what it reminded me of. And Whisp saying "good luck!" while Kier is half-dead on the floor is PRICELESS. I love that he's still trying to make amends with Drac though.

pg. 2: Him blurting everything at once and then stopping to be all ✨composed✨ is perfect. UGH but the accent. Kieran, dear, she knows you're Romanian. I like the call back, though, and if you really look into it, it's a reflex because he's embarrassed and panicked. I LOVE the cut between him saying "it's fine" and him absolutely panicking, all zoned-out. It's such a simple thing that's meant to be comedic but it really shows us how he thinks and how vulnerable he is in a world without his prestige.

pg. 3 BIG SPELLDON REVEAL DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!! I love the small details of his character design that bring him to life, like the rings on his fingers and the mole on his lip. and the necklaces <3. Valentine IMMEDIATELY crumpling the paper in his big dramatic moment is so silly. And spelldon ignoring it and just taking a rose. It's such an easy, domestic kind of moment. And they're both so pretty ugh the close ups. "Like my soul" ok princess val 🙄 and spelldon worried, "You still love draculaura?" I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SPELLDON CAULDRONELLO

pg. 4: the moment of realization is priceless. Kieran is just in awe of this man. and Spelldon is just so enthusiastic about it (I love how he's just like 'this is dumb' but goes along with it anyway. Okay mr. malicious compliance). The height difference is also perfect to me. It makes sense that Spelldon is way taller because he's part (like 70% ish if I remember right from that time I did a pedigree) god. Casta's tall too isn't she? Valentine lost in his own little world ❤️ my little yapper.

pg. 5: Valentine trying to be over prepared, he's so me. And it's a nice (probably unintentional) callback to his diary where he says "better have it and not need it than need it and not have it." Spelldon's blunt humor is one of my favorite things ever. And him flattering Kieran about biteology >>> ugh they're so sweet. Val's facial expressions are so funny too he's so dramatic. Him trying to be humble and change the subject when Spelldon compliments him is so cute. AAAA they're so sweet.

pg. 6: Spelldon being all nonchalant while Val is literally falling over is so them. That is such a fun dynamic for them to have and I love it so much. I don't even know how to describe or "analyze" it because it just feels so naturally them that there's nothing to point out as "unusual." AAA Spelldon catching Val is such a sweet moment in the comic. Poor Val has his eyes closed, he can't even see Spell's face when it happens. And his hand is HOVERING over Val's back; he's not even touching him and he's blushing like that. I don't even think I need to mention the smirks (they're so precious)(Spells had an eyebrow slit this whole time and I just didn't see it??😭)

pg. 7: EEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAA Val you're going to give poor Spelldon a heart attack leave him alone. He's so dramatic clasping his hands like that. The mausoleum is really cute though, I approve. If I were a vengeful ghost, this would be my haunt (get it?). Spelldon having this whole plan thought out to get the ingredients when he's the one who thought it was a useless plan to start with 🤨 okay Spelldon we all see what you're doing. Especially since the whole plan is to get Val clinging to him. Scarah to the rescue!!! Not the return of the accent val STOP PLEASE. I'm glad they're talking about it, though. And he doesn't do it to spelldon 👀 because he's being himself with spelldon and doesn't feel the outside pressures to be someone else. He subconsciously knows that spelldon will accept who he is. Spelldon's face when Val admits that is priceless. BUT SPELLDON NOOOOOO WATCH OUT!

pg. 8: Val regretting the potion because he's in loooooove is so cute to see. "A couple thousand years" you want to spend a couple thousand years with your feelings for Spelldon awww. And he doesn't even act like he needs them to be reciprocated. Like, duh we all know what he's doing, but he never spells (pun unintentional but fully embraced) it out. The bracelet too from the Val's rose is a sweet little detail. Especially since they chose to give us THAT angle for that panel. They wanted us to see that in this moment. Valentine voicing his development is perfect. He really has grown and learned so much. SPELLDON WHAT?????? NOOOOO! and Val immediately regretting this whole thing because oh nooo Spelldon won't love him (🤨)

pg. 9: Okay Spelldon you trickster. "You really think i'd let you excise your emotions like that" (okay mom) "Yes? I asked you to!" Bro. That's super sweet though, he's been looking out for him this whole time, but couldn't just tell him no. Awww he wanted to spend time with him. AWWW VAL. I'm surprised Val didn't feel the love but maybe i've been reading his powers wrong. And then we have The Moment™ of course. Aww

pg. 10: Aw he and Drac made up. I'm glad they got closure from everything (the Pit Incident... and everything beforehand). WOAH val is so pretty, that turning panel??? Spelldon watching silently from the sidelines all proud. We have to remember that he met Spelldon BEFORE Whisp (and long before the two of them had their makeshift therapy sessions), and the day of the dance (where he failed his attempt to fix everything) from the original comics. He was still a mess then. He has been here since then, and got to see him grow. KIERAN VALENTINE FULL NAME RAHHHH COME OUT YE BLACK AND TANS COME OUT AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN🇮🇪💪i'm glad they're pushing that because so many people think Valentine is his full name, it's actually crazy. Whisp wanting to meet Spelldon 👀 I need to see that now too! And Val ignoring her to hold Spelldon's hands, he's so clingy. I guess he has been this entire time with his yapping. And they walk into the sunset!!!

THE END!!!

I don't know if I wrote WAYYY too much, but I wanted to make sure I gave my full reaction (because lets face it, we've been starved for a while. thats why I got into fanfic like three-ish years ago). The notes got progressively longer as I went 😭

All in all I absolutely adore the comic. It's such a sweet glimpse into Valentine's growth and development, and I'm so glad to finally have a real Spelldon. The entire thing is such a good slice-of-life story that just feels calm and domestic and unforced, like there is no antagonist or unneeded tension to force things along. It's just Spell and Val.

#kieran valentine #spelldon cauldronello #spelldon x valentine #valentine x spelldon #monster high #monster high comics #draculaura #pride #djinni whisp grant

43 notes · View notes

romsabombs · 4 months

Text

GUYS the new malevolent is insane so i just thought i'd drop my notes in here✍️ ENJOY it's a lot

freaky ahh cavern

😦😦😦

SHUT UP!!!!!!!!

the man is bathed in darkness👹 john thats racist

mf literally been crucified this is so arthurs religious trauma

that is not what bones sound like i think

shes so me awful posture

me at 4am in the kitchen looking for a snack

WAIT oh yuck :/

HAHA THEY'RE IN HIS NOSTRILS

PRINCE MENTIONED

car accident thats so season 1

this is kind of like a hat in time maybe

omgg a witch :3

arthur survives the wildest shit but i think a mcdonalds sprite would kill him

AAAHHH WHAT THE FUCK!!!!😨😨 YUCK YUCK EW EW RAAAHHH

WHAAAAAT

cant we only do allat to corpses

omg spit it out john

YEAAHHHH HES DEAD

🤭🤭🤭YIPPEE I KNEW IT

omggg thats so janey :33

hes bein puppeted by the maggots thats crazy

STOP TELLING HIM TO KILL THINGS HAHA

omgg kaynes dagger <33

how can this mf be helpful

this is so tmp a bit

rotten flesh mentioned minecraft ref

HAHA WHAAT THATS SO GROSS

the maggots be like i have your fucking eyes👹👹👹👹

OMG WHAT THE HELL zombie arc

claustrophobia again

imagine harlan recording this

omg that's so sexy 🔥🔥 decapitated his ass

HAHA WE'RE ONLY 11 MINUTES IN??

LMAO john stop saying things

YES JOHN it WOULD have been helpful to know this guy didnt have any eyes

"this isnt new york anymore" thank god amiright

his head between our legs🤨

its so funny how he calls it a pinky. didnt someone on tumblr say john wouldnt know finger names

im surprised arthur still has a shirt

the flesh feels stiff😟

this guy is still alive😦 or. dead. i guess

arthur is like weirdly normal about this guy being a zombie. i know hes seen shit (no he hasnt) but come on

faroes song ☹️

YEAHH PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTHH💪

oh what😐 the prince🙄

what did he sayy

oh gross come on guys😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 at this point just put it in your own mouth

"id like to think this is the most insane thing we've ever done" 💀

teehee they dont wanna seperate :3

YEAH! AND FAROE

"everyone we've ever loved" weak. also john doesnt care about anyone but you

"we cant afford to not use every resource anymore" HAHA this is so funny because didnt you throw away everything youve ever owned last episode

yippee welcome back vanguard :3

nothing😟 WAIT YIPPEE :3

WELCOME BACK VANGUARD‼️☝️

omg names mentioned

wait. yorick? llorick? thats the thing arthur said

its not lorick that was the guy from the dreamlands

WOAH WAIT WOAH HUH

hey what the fuck did that mean😀

omg what. rumpelstiltskin

HAHA hes so loser

OMG wait they said stanzyck right

ofcourse anna is dead bruh we were never gonna meet her

arthur and john both being "kings"😟

this tooth is so silly🥰

everyones walking over arthur today💀

they're so miscommunication <3

hey😀 hey whats that sound

DONT SAY IT ugh the prince

"ahh yes :3"

OH😨😨😨😨 A WHAT

SHUT UP🗣️👹 HAHA THATS SO SILLY

this guy is so kayne. and a bit autistic

wait r we just carrying around this skull

bro arthur sounds so tired

ooo this would go hard as a cosplay

i cant believe he has a belt

EUGH YUCK😦

ooo the black stone perchance?

ok i guess not

omg god forbid a girl has hobbies🙄

"im not saying its not risky. what im saying is, it might be worth the risk" that line goes hard

arthur agreeing to this is like a dad saying "okay fine we'll go to mcdonalds🙄"

no reward without risk✊💥

"we're in the lion's den already" "it is a hag's womb👹" HEHEHE

HAHA SILLIES HEHEHEEHE🤭🥰

oooohh johnn 😶‍🌫️

OH 😦 ohhh 😀 u have his memories

clever girl

"thanks yorick😐" "you too my king🤗" "shut up🙄👹"

yorick is so me absolutely no sense of social cues

ofcourse we'd encounter a witch here it was so obvious

"try to keep straight" pff

did john say im serving

hey yeah maybe dont go towards the light😀

LMAO LOOK AROUND? foul

when is the jumpscare happening

i have no idea what he's saying

"too much to make out" MAKE OUT?🤭

LMAO he doesnt know

pregnant meat☹️⁉️

hey i thought asking the vanguard questions would have a price🤨😀

imagine if he just crushed that zombies skull like its a good thing we just decapitated him

hes literally describing my room

you're my eyes☹️

they're acting as if the lighter would give us much light

omgg shes a little interior decorator

tapestry lore!!💪

five minutes left whats gonna happen

wuh ohhh somethings gonna happen

THE STAIRS ARE GONE!!!😬

ur literally in her home leave her alone

his ass is panicking

this is so part 18 the madness

we're trapped :( :(

"ingenious decision king🤓" "SHUT UP👹"

SPRINT!!!!!! 🏃🏃🏃🏃

OH???? 😦😦😦😦 WHAT

IMPALED???M???MNFJREJSJ HUHH

omggg he got marcy'd

i saw fanart of this but i lowkey couldnt tell if it was a spoiler or not💀

hot take but if he got bitten by that zombie he could prolly survive this

HUHHH bro this is like part 27 the roots. he was less dramatic about it this time tho

bro yorick finally shut up💀

sooo where did he get impaled. like if in the heart hes cooked😬

#raaahhhhh #i had SO many thoughts #unreal #malevolent #malevolent podcast #arthur lester #john doe #john doe malevolent #yorick #yorick malevolent #malevolent part 42

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mrs-monaghan · 1 year

Note

i saw you mention it briefly in a previous post and wondered if you happen to have any examples of jimin acting jealous related to jk

i can’t think of even one instance of it happening jimin has such a good poker face

Finally!! Getting to this ask. Sorry i kept you waiting my dear. Lets get to it.

Disclaimer: My word is not law. I can only point out what I picked up. Its up to you to form your own opinions. You don't have to see what I see 😘

To start us off would be the most recent.

Army: I'm Taehyung's wife

Jimin: Hello Taehyung's wife

Army: Hi, I'm Jhope's wife

Jimin: Hello Jhope's wife.

Army: Hi, I'm Jungkook's wife.

Jimin:

Mans really said "no the fuck you're not. You can call yourself JK's wife but I'm the one who knows what he's doing not you." 😂😂😂 No, but this was funny.

Next we're gonna talk about HOME. But before we do that. Let's understand something. Jikook have these exclusive things they do to/for eo and they prefer if it stays that way. A good example would be Jimin touching JK's chin. It's a Jikook thing or rather used to be, because sometimes in the past u would catch Jimin side eyeing another member when they did it. He's always done it from the beginning and other members started doing it too. But I think Jimin is over it now. Doesn't care anymore. But it did used to bother him. Another example would be the boxing. It's a Jikook thing and they (mostly JK) prefers it that way. We've seen him refuse to play box with V. I even touched on him debunking V here when V said they box together. It's a Jikook thing. Alright? Which brings us to HOME.

As we all know there is that one part where Jikook usually sing to each other during HOME.

My favourite is this one 🥺🥺

If you don't believe it's a Jikook thing, look at how JK reacted when Jimin sang to Army instead of singing to him. Here is an even better angle. He wasn't impressed. He was looking forward to it, only for Jimin to sing to Army 🤭

All duos have designated moments during songs. Here is angry Jin pulling Jimin away from a Taejin moment. (Sorry if u can't access tiktok. Tumblr only allows one video at a time) So this theory is not too far fetched.

Okay now let's get to the Jimin being annoyed part. Not jealous, annoyed. Its important we differentiate these 2 words. He wasn't jealous of V...he was just annoyed that it happened.

Okay. So first lets look at the Jikook moment. Which i love.

And then we look at the Taekook moment.

Why does V always look at members like they're a 5 course meal he's 2 seconds away from devouring? Damn. Anyway, I'd tell you to watch Jimin but that's not the best angle. You see his reaction better from the Jimin fancam.

Yeah... he wasn't impressed either.

Next we're gonna go back to Army proposing to JK. The infamous "Jungkook marry me" I bet JK regretted bringing that up the moment he started getting grilled. Mans really got the 3rd degree 😂😂 And you can see the exact moment Jimin was like; wtf I'm i doing?

Right before leaving to go off camera, looking all embarrassed. That shit was hysterical. Really 😂😂

Next we have JK calling RM sexy.

Jimin rubbing his face like that read to me like "this again?" And I wouldn't have thought anything of it but then he went and repeated the word "sexy" when JK said it which had me 🤔🤔🤔

Next we have this Run Bts episode. I will share Cameron's dubbed version because why not? 😂😂😂😂 JK even tried to make Jimin feel better. Yes, he was doing his mission but why not kill 2 birds with one stone?

Then we have the Busan concert. He wasn't jealous. He wasn't even annoyed. But he was watching them. He took notice. Jimin does it often when it comes to Tkk. He doesn't react, but he pays attention. Idk how to explain it. But he watches them, if that makes sense.

Next one is actually quite popular anon. I'm surprised you've never seen people talk about it. Again I will share the dubbed version because I play too much.

Aaah. Fine. Here is the original for the boring people 🙄 Watch Jimin's face when JK smiles at him. Then JK immediately lets go of V. Though he does it again, coz he can be a brat sometimes. But y'all get it.

These two Jinkook and Yoonkook moments are not even up for debate. It's pretty freaking clear. And yes. I will use the word jealousy for these ones.

This one is heartbreaking. I prefer when Jimin is angry. I do not like him sad. It's just... 😭😭😭

This one too. My heart breaks every single time.😪😪😪

You can watch this entire compilation if u feel like it. I find it mostly accurate. (Mostly. Not all) But watch this part. Jimin is watching Namkook on the viewfinder. Did you see him look away as soon as JK looked up? Why? Hmmm 🤭🤭

Now this one he was not just bothered but actually got angry. Like fucking pissed.

Thanks @astutejiminie for coming through. This video is absolute gold. They start reacting at 36:24. It's where it all starts unfolding.

(Keep an eye on Jimin touching his nose. That's usually a sign with him)

youtube

So we have V caressing JK's hair for a long ass time. And we have Jimin hating it. We hear him clear his throat abnoxiously at some point which is when JK notices and tries to like sit up and pull away from V. But as usual V doesn't get the memo and continues to touch. Eventually when they finish, Jimin stands up so aggressively that his chair flies back and then storms off before they have even wrapped up. Idk what it was about this day but Jimin got proper angry about the touching.

Another time Jimin didn't like V touching JK was during this live. He even banged his cup on the floor.

I recommend this analysis of that Dynamite BB hot 100 live/JK's birthday and what was really going on with JK staring at Jimin. Jimin had an issue with all the skinship on this day. That analysis does a good job of explaining why. Give it a go.

This here anon, is what I call the Holy grail. Jimin wanted to kill this army. Well, that's an exaggeration but still, if looks could kill, this Army would have gone up in smoke. So this girl goes to JK and calls his name in this cutesy tone. And watch Jimin. That, is some scary shit right there. 👀 I'd have ran and never come back 🙈

Damn this post got long and these aren't even all of them. I am too hungry to go get this link. So I will describe this moment and u see if it rings a bell or u can go search for it. Run BTS Canada. Jin sits next to JK and Jimin makes him move. He was like "That's my chair" and Jin immediately took off.

This cute winter package moment where Jimin slots himself between Jinkook. I don't think this is part of the list. I just like that moment 🤭🤭🤭

I gotta go eat. So this is all I have for now. Cheers! 🥂🥂

#ask shaz #bts ask #jikook #jimin and jungkook #jimin #jungkook #park jimin #jeon jungkook #minkook #kookmin #bts #jikook bothered #jikook analysis

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heavyhitterheaux · 2 years

Text

Not Today Satan

First Lady of Private Garden Instagram AU

(Requested by 21 can you do sum for meeee @hoodharlow)

Liked by y/ninsta, saweetie, dualipa, 2forwoyne, quiiso, urbanwyatt, and 425,907 others

claybornharlow: happy anniversary to my wifey y/ninsta

Love you 💕

jackharlow: YOU BETTER DELETE THIS SHIT NEOW

claybornharlow: jackharlow no. I deserve to live in my truth 😌

saweetie: not baby brother being messy as hell lmaoooo

danivalentine: CLAYBORN!

urbanwyatt: lemme get my phone ready to call 911

y/ninsta: happy anniversary my favorite Harlow child! look at us! me and my little baby!

jackharlow: y/ninsta I will return EVERYTHING

y/ninsta: jackharlow no you won't because you a simp

sza: jackharlow wifey calling your ass out lmao

druski2funny: I mean, should I go make an anniversary post at this point too?

jackharlow: druski2funny I know where you live. don't do it.

normani: aww so cute!

jackharlow: normani no! not cute at all!

mortirolo: I'm actually not mad at this

jackharlow: NICOLE PLEASE FOR ONCE JUST PLEASE

mortirolo: jackharlow fine you're no fun. ahem! clayyyyy! cut the shit! (even if it is funny)

jackharlow: never mind 🙄

2forwoyne: lmaoooo aye yo

jackharlow: and he does this shit because if I threaten him, y/ninsta will have my ass smh

y/ninsta: jackharlow you damn right. you better not go near my little baby.

jackharlow: y/ninsta choose me, love me!

saweetie: jackharlow lmaoooo not grey's anatomy I'm screaming

softtcurse: I'm third in line for her hand in marriage. I'm ready.

urbanwyatt: softtcurse next time imma leave your ass outside when you knock on the door

y/ninsta: urbanwyatt leave my girl outside, and I'm putting your weed in my bra again

Liked by y/ninsta, softtcurse, claybornharlow, danivalentine, mortirolo, champagnepapi, quiiso, yungskylark, and 3,297,056 others

dualipa: look at my wife. she a baddie isn't she? Happy anniversary boo! Wishing and hoping for many more!

jackharlow: WHY THE FUCK DO YALL INSIST ON STRESSING ME THE FUCK OUT!? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?

claybornharlow: my anniversary post was better smh

dualipa: claybornharlow don't get your ass beat

jackharlowsource: lmaoooo first clay and now dua. jack about to be bald by 2027

urbandjack24: one thing about ms. dua is that she's persistant lmaoo

dualipa: jackharlow and you know what this is. I call it like I see it. MY WIFE.

jackharlow: dualipa imma whoop your ass

dualipa: jackharlow I'd like to see you try

y/ninsta: CHILDREN! STOP IT! and dualipa happy anniversary!

jackharlow: y/ninsta why are you encouraging this?

y/ninsta: jackharlow I'm bored

jackharlow: y/ninsta I am literally sitting right next to you

y/ninsta: jackharlow okay? I've been staring at you all day.

jackharlow: y/ninsta correction I've been in your guts all day

urbanwyatt: NO. FULL STOP.

sza: lmaooo here they horny asses go

dualipa: y/ninsta and I wasn't invited?

jackharlow: dualipa it's almost 2023 and imma need for you to find past times that do not involve trying to get at my wife

dualipa: jackharlow I saw her first

jackharlow: dualipa I FIRST SAW HER WHEN I WAS FOURTEEN

dualipa: jackharlow I have eyes everywhere

y/ninsta: jackharlow I want you to park that big mac truck right in this little garage!

jackharlow: y/ninsta oh so now you want me?

y/ninsta: jackharlow I always do, now get your ass over here

jackharlow: 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

Liked by jackharlow, y/ninsta, dualipa, champagnepapi, estgee, brysontiller, danivalentine, lilnasx, druski2funny, and 4,982,073 others

popcrave: happy anniversary to one of our favorite couples! jackharlow and y/ninsta are celebrating five years today! 🥰

jackharlow: damn my baby fine 😍😍😍

y/ninsta: jackharlow stop it! 🙈

jackharlow: y/ninsta nope, not a chance

anitta: oh lmaoooo okay then

jackharlow: anitta you got something you want to share?

danivalentine: OH SHIT

shloob_: anitta ABORT MISSION

saweetie: let me get my popcorn

anitta: jackharlow oh you know there's plenty but I'll be quiet for now

jackharlow: anitta not today satan. stop being fucking disrespectful towards her because you've done that shit one time too many. my wife already kicked your ass once and she has no hesitations to do it again. how did them floorboards taste?

mortirolo: GOT DAMN JACK I'D NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY

lilnasx: OH MY FUCKING SHIT 😲

urbanwyatt: well damn

jackharlowsource: allthingsy/n GET YOUR ASS IN HERE NOW AND LOOK AT THIS

allthingsy/n: FUCKING RIGHT JACK! TELL HER!!!!!

2forwoyne: I can't fucking breathe, I'm laughing so hard 😭

druski2funny: lmaoooo I taught jackharlow well

saweetie: jackharlow READ THAT BITCH FOR FILTH! READ HER!

quiiso: well shit

jackharlow: anitta and instead of worrying about us and creating this fantasy in your mind that I want you because I definitely DO NOT, only dresses I'm taking off are on my wife's body. do me a favor and worry about how your tracks came out a little too easily when she got her hands on you. talked all that shit and was the first one on the floor.

theestallion: damn, Jack ain't playing

jackharlow: anitta and another thing, my wife has more talent in her pinky finger than you do in your entire body so I'm going to need for you to focus on that instead of how you're always going to come second place to her. she wins, you lose. bye now. have a good day.

urbanwyatt: you gotta do a mic drop after that one

y/ninsta: THAT'S MY MAN AND IMMA STICK BESIDE HIM 🥰

y/ninsta: anitta damn babes, he came for the throat huh?

yungskylark: oh my word

y/ninsta: jackharlow I knew that violence was going to rub off sooner or later but GOT DAMN YOU GOT ME HOT. PLEASE COME TAKE CARE OF THIS NEOW 😭😭😭

jackharlow: y/ninsta say less 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

jackharlow: and let this be a fucking lesson to yall. don't come for my wife. EVER.

Taglist:

@harlowsbby

@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

@stefansalvatoresgf

@jackiehollanderr

@primadxna-girl

@dessmxsworld

@cockslutslurper3000

@raelorns21

@variety-fangirl

@gbaabyyyy

@kamorsstuff

@harlowthot

@sinsandsuccubus

@curlyhairclub

@bootlegroach

@haylexo10

@thinkingaboutjharlow

@fluidsentiment

@charli123456789

@moody4world

@yourstrulymayah

@yana4life

@beanbagbitch

@alinaharlow

@carma-fanficaddict

@minaxcarter

@arination99

@xjup1t3r

@venusvinc

@jacksmoviestar

@jackharloww

@midnight-star47

@minkookie95

@inluvwithladybug

@exoticr0ses

@jharlowsangels

@jackierose902109

@jackmansbabymama

@cmalass

@megawhoree

@softtcurse

@sia2raw

@miniaturehideoutmentality

@hoya122

@nattinatalia

@jackslover12

@skyesthebomb

@jackharlows-world

@louisianalady

@fdl305

@automaticpeachsong

@harlowcomehome

@gassyandsassy1

@babygirlwilly

@amethyst09

@harrycanyonmoonn

@toocriticalharlow

@liv2sworld

@tattered-tales

@sisiking99

@dessxoxsworld

@gillybear17

@jacksdaycare

@iheartharlow

@disaster-rose

@babyvinnie

@evansxchalamet

@chtkmyharlow

@mortirolo

@itsyagirljaz

#jack harlow #jack harlow fic #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow fluff #first lady of pg

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cuntry-r0ckst4r · 27 days

Text

On a Wednesday, in a Café ~ (hiro hamada x reader's version)

sum! "Write a coffee shop AU where one character drops a ton of cups and the other helps them pick them up, but ends up cutting themselves and the one who works there has to take the other back to patch them up and forgets to tell them that they faint at the sight of blood. Chaos."

tw! blood, passing out, chaos.

guysguysguys. he so nerdy i luv him!!! i am the same age as him.... kinda. (born in 2018 so...) but if i catch anyone 18+ reading this it is blocked blocked blocked!! 🥳😍🤪🤣💦🖤🥸🤐😳😅🙄🧐

You walk in on your phone, as you put it away you look around. It was a cute little local coffee shop. You had never tried this place before, but you recently had heard about and you've heard nothing but positive reviews. You also had heard that it's family owned and that the family that has just so happens to have a boy around your age here.

As soon as you walked in you saw him, behind the counter. He wasn't working, the lady in front of him was. The lady looked way too young to be his mom... anyways. He was just behind the counter on his phone. He didn't have a customer service face, he just looked annoyed.

"Hiro, will you go wash these cups upstairs please?" The lady asked the younger boy.

He nods, grabs a tray of coffee cups, and begins to take them upstairs. Until he trips over the first step and some glass cups break some just bounce on the ground away from him.

Everyone stares at him as they heard the noise. They just stared. No one helped. You just stared... no. You went over and helped him pick up the glass, while you helped he just stared at you. For about 5 seconds until he started picking it up again, but he was too clumsy and put his hand right on a shard of glass. God he is full of chaos today.

He hisses as he pulls his hand back as it starts bleeding. You look at him confused, then look at his bleeding hand.

"Oh my god! Are you okay?!" You exclaim, seeing he had blood on his hand but not trying to look.

He jerked his hand away, "I'm fine. It's nothing."

"Hiro, Honey, are you okay?" The woman called out.

He rolled his eyes, "I'm fine Aunt Cass!"

"Do you have a first aid kit, I can help bandage you up if you want?" You offer to him.

He says nothing in response, just a subtle nod as he gets up. He goes up the stairs, and you follow him. He brings you to the bathroom and pulls the first aid kit out of the bottom of the sink. He then sits on the toilet and puts his hand out.

So much blood. So much. Blood.

You started to feel light headed when you tell him, "I actually forgot to mention, I hate blood."

You sat down on the floor, closing your eyes and breathing in and out.

Now it's his turn to freak out, "Oh my god! Are you okay?! Are you gonna go pass out?!"

"mm. maybe?" You say with a higher pitched voice, that also happens to be somewhat... spacy?

"oh uh how do i-" He gets on his phone, searching how to stop someone from passing out. He scrolls a bit, not wanting to watch a video.

Wikihow! Perfect...ish?

Lower them on the ground, well your already sitting on the ground.

Check for a pulse, well you're alive and breathing so your pulse is fine.

Reassure Victim and Stay Calm.

Well half of that is possible now.

"Your gonna be okay, you've followed all the... steps on your own!" He says with a nervous undertone.

About 15 minutes later he wrapped his own hand up and you've calmed down.

He sat on the toilet lid for a second. Thinking.

"Hey, so do you wanna hang out... normally one day? Where we don't bleed and pass out..?" With a nervous chuckle.

You furrow your brows and smile at him, "I'd like that... yeah."

#hiro hamada #aunt cass #hiro hamada x reader #aunt cass x reader #big hero 6 #big hero 6 x reader #18+ dni

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borisbubbles · 4 months

Text

Eurovision 2024: #27

27. FRANCE Slimane - "Mon amour" 4th place

youtube

Decade ranking: 103/153 [Above The Black Mamba, below Marco Mengoni]

Slimane has a very powerrful voice. 🙂

THE RANKING

Okay, FINE. I suppose I can't leave it like that. 🙄 Although I'd much rather would.

So *SLIME*-MANE. There's a lot to unpack and a lot I know most people will disagree with my takes, but oh well. I've ranked Joost low, and Mustii low, so it's only fair the Slimane fans get some scalding hot truth tea splashed in the face from this deluded overthinker. Disliking men is a much more productive way to run away from my problems than simpling them is.

So remember how I spoke about songs designed to Make People Cry? You know I hold emotional extortion in contempt. "Pity" is just a slightly more charitable way of looking down at others, and shouldn't be strived for. These anthems are inherently designed to manipulate the undiscerning into uglycrying while offering very little sustainance. Yep, we're here yet again. Another song that doesn't pass even a tiny bit of scrutiny, except in a language most viewers do not speak.

In fact, I'm pretty sure that "Mon Amour"'s francophoneness is what made many people sleep on the fact that it's not exactly narratively sound. Most people that I've spoken about ESC to that understand French haven't responded well to "Mon Amour" (lol one of my French friends bursting into chat all "SLIMANE REPS US? EW. HIS MUSIC IS SO BORING AND CORNY 😣" hours after Mon Amour's release passed without comment from any of us ♥).

The indifference makes sense when you read the lyrics. It's filled with cliche's that scream "I YEM ZE FR0NCH~", a little bit too much on the nose. If I thought "Évidemment" was bad, this is worse. Lines such as "reviens à Paris" and ''Es-ce-que tu-m'aimes où pas?" are such clichés they feel thoughtless and expected, like someone writing out the monologue on autopilot.

But what sets me off is the overal narrative. Slimane and France have attempted to retcon "Mon amour" as "the story of an artist reaching out to his fans, seeking validation" but that is not what the lyrics read out. Instead, speak of the aftermath of a broken romance, where SHE has had her heart shattered to a degree that she LEFT THE PROTAGONIST'S HOMETOWN FOR AN UNKNOWN DESTINATION AND BROKE OFF ALL CONTACT. Instead of giving her, you know, personal space or time to reflect, or even lick his wounds, he keeps desperately asking her whether she still loves him or not. Dude, I don't know her, and I know the answer is "no". Give it a rest, and move on. Sadly, Slimane didn't move on and spends a full three minutes wailing on about it. "I want her, I need her only her, why doesn't she love me". We know where this ends - with a restraining order and either her or him dead and dismembered inside a dumpster six months later. (Australia's jury of snarky yet emotionally intelligent gays picking up on this and ranking him dead last ♥ bless them ♥)

As you can perhaps tell, the above realizations completely KILL the romantic aspect of the song for me. I cannot, and WILL NOT get into its grief and sadness. All the parties involved should be GLAD it's over.

Instrumentally, the song's just... generic piano ballad, nothing new or innovative here. Dime a dozen, we've heard it before, bla bla bla. "Mon amour" is a nothingburger, an empty vessel for Slimane's vocal chops.

Which brings me to another problem I have with it - I personally don't really care much about technical skill? Eurovision is an audio-visual SONG contest, not a SINGING contest. It is cool that you can nail those masturbatory vocal projections. You're a singer who can sing. "Loud" however is a pitch, not an emotion. It would have been more impressive if you've also discovered the cure of cancer alongside it. (Curing tumors with vocal vibrations. Medical students reading this, get on it so I can be impressed by Slimane.)

Focusing exclusively on that though, is annoying to me. Good Eurovision entrants start with a SONG. "Mon amour" barely classifies as one. End off.

That isn't to say I cannot respect Slimane's vocal for what it was. I mean THIS:

is a feat only a few vocalists can successfully pull off. It is MORE impressive the first time you witness it before the laws of Diminishing Returns kicks in. But it was immensely clever to trial it at Dora and then include it into the song itself - it gives the performance stakes and gravitas, so why not?

However that brought the song's weakness even more to the forefront to me. My logic is the following: if you can pull off such a stunt, then why aren't you the immediate fave to win? Eurovision 2024 was the most open year perhaps of all times, and I'm supposed to believe a voice THIS strong cannot win it by itself? There are enough examples of strong vocals POWERING through merely decent songs (Céline and Corinne Hermès for instance) into a first place. If you can pull that off and still lose doesn't that prove your song is fucking shite?

Going into the contest I was HOPING to get something out of the live besides Big Vocals and also that France wouldn't morph into a direct contender to win (You would HOPE that 2024's varied and exciting line-up was competitive enough as to not crown a vocal projection exercise as its winner), and ultimately, I got both of my wishes because Eurovision 2024 was BORISVISION. I was the meta this year, bitches, and I think fourth place is a perfectly reasonable result for a vocal that strong on a song that nonexistent.

But more importantly, Slimane managed to inject his performance with EMOTIONS and good god I really needed that.

It took a LOT of effort from Slimane for me to recognize that yes, this man is cooking with gas, and his expertise elevates the whole package. "Seductive" is the incorrect emotion for the subject matter but whatever. Ignoring the subject matter is the only way you can enjoy the song, so if that's what one must to do end the night on a high note, so be it. I let it pass, with few regrets.

Like Nutsa, he served enough for me to respect him ~as a performer~ who deserved the result he got. Like "Firefighter", I still have some contempt for the song itself, and there's a strict limit for how Im i'm willing to place it.

Turns out that boundary lies at Marco Mengoni. "Mon amour" always felt like a lazy, soulless answer to "Due vite" for me, and I'm not willing put it ahead, nor to re-examine my stance on DV so quickly after my 2023 ranking. "Due vite" was a song that ultimately wasn't my cup of tea, but it was the superior composition, and deserves a higher mark.

So ultimately, I end with Slimane a bittersweet note. A man with the capability to win the Eurovision Song Contest, yes and who manifested his impending loss with below average penmanship. If the French are looking for someone to blame for not winning once since 1977, they can start with their failure to recognize their 2024 song needed a revamp.

THE RANKING (again)

#Eurovision #eurovison song contest #esc 2024 #eurovision 2024 #esc #Malmö 2024 #France #Slimane #Mon Amour #BorisBubbles

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