#there are SO many characters i wanna write and it's really not efficient to make separate blogs for all of them

[ofyorkshire]

sees 1 gifset of oliver jackson cohen

the temptation to try writing luke crain bashes me over the head once again. oh. i could write luke. i really really really think i could. i'm so weak for the broken ones who try, and fail, and have to try again. the resilient, bloodied ones who have nothing to lose but find things to hold onto anyway.

[lakesbian]

i have had like 10 friends rec worm to me but nobody’s given me a good like, gist of its vibe and what its abt because ‘its best blind’, could u please give a like brief summary and vibe check of it 😭 it’s so long i dont wanna try and invest that much time without knowing much abt it

so, worm is a 1.7 million word long webserial written in 2010. 1.7 million words seems like a lot, but it was also written over a relatively short period of time, which means the writing style is very easy to parse--the ideas aren't without complexity, but the language itself isn't intimidatingly dense. you can get through it at a very decent pace. i agree with your friends that there are vast portions of worm that hit best when you're unspoiled, but the thing is that worm is long enough that giving you the basic plot pitch is in no way spoilers for any of the things that i wouldn't want to see spoiled for someone. i'm actually kind of baffled they're not telling you Any Thing, because it is in my estimation one of the best books i've ever read, but it also Needs a briefing before you get into it for like five different reasons. which i will now provide. i swear to god this is brief by my standards it's just that i am very thorough

worm is a story about superheroes and supervillains, set in a world where superpowers are traumagenic--rather than appearing randomly or innately, some people gain powers after a traumatizing event happens to them. the protagonist is taylor hebert, a 15yo girl who has the power to control insects and desperately wants to be a superhero. and then accidentally finds herself scouted by a team of teenage villains instead. who's to say how she's going to react to all that!

one of the most compelling things about worm is that the superpowers in it serve as visceral, hyper-literal metaphors for the trauma and traumatized coping mechanisms of the characters with those powers. each power is incredibly specific and thematically relevant to the person who has it, and it's incredibly interesting and evocative. it feels so natural and well-done that it comes off like how superpowers are just meant to be written.

the fact that superpowers stem from trauma also means that worm is fundamentally a narrative about trauma. specifically, about traumatized teenagers and the relationships they form as they cling together while struggling through growing up traumatized & mutually coping with an increasingly intriguing, intense, and far-reaching escalating plot. worm's depictions of trauma + mental illness--including unpalatable trauma responses, including traumatized characters who are allowed to be complicated and nuanced and messy while still receiving narrative respect--are deeply real-feeling and impactful, and they're placed in the context of a well-spun + engaging story.

i really do have to stress how excellent the character writing is. worm is fully deserving of being as long as it is. over the course of 1.7 million words of character development, the average reader's reaction to the main characters goes from "sorta interesting" to "okay, i want to see where this goes" to "augh...really likable" to "i am now on hands and knees crying and these characters are going to stick around in my brain forever." wildbow has incredible talent for efficiently conveying complicated, real-feeling, and viscerally evocative characterization. many of the interlude chapters (chapters written from the perspective of different characters other than taylor) are so interesting, fleshed-out, and emotionally affecting that they make you wish you could read an entire novel about just the side character being featured. with that level of characterization for just the side cast, it's not surprising that taylor (& co) are genuinely just downright iconic. and i do not say that lightly--taylor is truly one of the best-written protagonists i've seen in anything. ever.

the other main pitch-point for worm is that it's a fascinating deconstruction/reconstruction/examination of the conceits of the superhero genre. it answers the question of--what would the world have to be like, for people with superpowers to act the way they do in classic cape media? and it does this well enough that it's interesting even if you have only a passing familiarity with cape media. i am not a big superhero media fan, but worm addresses virtually every aspect of cape media that was under the sun around 2010 in a way that's so interesting i still find it incredibly engaging. the approach it takes makes the narrative very accessible even to people who aren't usually cape media fans.

and speaking of the narrative: the end of the story is coherent and satisfying and deeply thematically resonant*. the way worm follows through on all of its main mysteries & plot threads is excellent. you don't have to worry about getting thru 1.7 million words and being dissatisfied by the author shitting the bed at the end, or anything like that. he does an amazing job of weaving together plot events in a way that makes each successive one feel rationally, thematically, and emotionally connected to what came before. there's really only one part where i feel the story stumbles a bit, but i think it was the best option he had for the narrative, and it's by no means a dealbreaker. it's in fact really impressive how cohesive and satisfying worm is for such a long webserial released over such a brief period of time.

*this is subjective ive seen some people who didnt love it but ive never seen anyone who downright Hated it who didnt also demonstrate egregious misunderstanding of literally everything worm is about. so thats a good sign

as for the downsides of worm/things that might put you off:

there is a very long list of trigger warnings for it. if you have any trigger warnings you want you should ask your friends to let you know about the relevant parts, because the fact that it's About Trauma (& about typical cape media circumstances presented very seriously) means that traumatic and violent things & their realistic aftermath are constantly happening and/or being discussed. i would not classify worm as needlessly dark or spiteful to the audience by any means, but it is intense and covers a lot of heavy topics. i do assume if your friends are all recommending it to you, they think none of the material would be too much for you, though!

worm was written in 2010 by a white cishet guy from canada. it's typical levels of 2010-era bigoted, it has a deeply lesbophobic stereotype character, it has some atrociously racist stereotype characters, the author really hates addicts, It's Got Blind Spots. i think worm is generally fully worth reading despite these, but very fair warning that it can get bad. i think what exacerbates this is that worm is generally extremely nuanced & sympathetic regarding ideas such as "crime is a result of systematic circumstance vs people just being inherently evil" and "mentally ill people who are traumatized in unpalatable ways are still deserving of fundamental respect as human beings" and so on and so forth, so it's extra noticeable and insufferable when you get to a topic the author has unexamined biases on and all that nuance drops out. the worst part is that a lot of this is most concentrated in the early arcs, so you have to get through them without being super attached to any of the characters yet. it is worth it though.

worm like. Does have a central straight relationship in it. and it's a very well written straight relationship for the most part and i like it quite a lot. but worm also passes the bechdel test with such flying colors that it enters 'unintentionally homoerotic' territory. which means a lot of people were shipping the main character ms taylor hebert with her female friends while the story was being released. which caused the author to get so mad he 1. posted a word of god to a forum loudly insisting that all of the girls are straight and 2. inserted a few deeply awkward and obvious and out of character scenes where he finds an excuse for the girls to more or less turn to the camera and go "i'm not gay, btw. this is platonic." This is fucking insufferable, and will piss you off immensely, but then you will get to any of the number of deeply emotionally affecting scenes between them, and at that point you will be too busy sniffling piteously and perhaps crytyping an analysis post on tumblr to be mad about all that other shit. also they're only a couple tiny portions out of an entire overall fantastic novel

overall: if those points don't sound like dealbreakers (i hope they aren't they're really massively outstripped by the amount of devastatingly good moments in worm, worm still has a thriving fandom over a decade later for a reason), you should absolutely give it a shot and see what you think. my final note is that you have to read up until the end of arc 8 to really see where what makes worm Worm kicks in, so aim for at least there to see how you feel about it if you're just thinking about dipping your toes in vs fully committing. i hope that was helpful and not too long :)

oh and don't go in the comments section on wordpress if you don't want spoilers. or anywhere else in the fandom at all. you will be spoiled. quite possibly for things you could not even have imagined were topics to be spoiled on.

[alpaca-clouds]

Worldbuild Differently: Unthink Money

This week I want to talk a bit about one thing I see in both fantasy and scifi worldbuilding: Certain things about our world that we live in right now are assumed to be natural, and hence just adapted in the fantasy world. With just one tiny problem: They are not natural, and there were more than enough societies historically that avoided those pitfalls.

Another interesting thing were you can see writers struggling to unthink our world is money. No matter what fantasy world we are talking: We almost always see people paying with money, earning money, selling for money. Money, money, money. Everything is all about the money.

Only that until fairly recently money did actually not play such a big role in human history.

I know, I know. "But there were coins found as far back as..." Yes, they were. But we know that even in cultures that had coin, a lot of interactions happened without coins being exchanged. Yes, coins and some form of money often made it easier to trade if you had certain kinds of jobs, but for the most part a lot of people just exchanged stuff. And mind you: Not with bartering. (Read David Graeber's book in "Dept".) They just exchanged stuff and that was the normal way to go about those things.

Unless you have this kinda global capitalism system we have right now... Actually you do not really need money. There are several ways of making worlds work without money.

If you write fantasy set in a medieval setting, your characters might only interact with money if they are nobility (if you wanna keep it realistic). And if you write some sort of utopian science fiction (something like Solarpunk), there is also a good chance that folks just have gotten rid of money.

I am not saying: "Generally, write moneyless worlds." I am more saying: Think about this. Does money make sense in your world? Does it make things easier? And again: Is it logical to be there?

And you will allow me to bring up the maybe most clear example of a world where money does not make sense: Harry Potter. Rowling is not only a TERF, she is also utterly unable to imagine a world that is not run on Thatcher bullshit, no matter how little sense it makes within that world.

See, money in general exists to a good degree because when you exchange goods you are not just paying for the good but also for the work. And in some cases you just need to pay for work as it is. But... Well, in a world where most work actually does get automated with a simple spell... this does make so little sense. Food production is so much more efficient in this world - and most wizards to live in areas with a lot of land around where they can actually harvest their food.

And then there is the fact that quite a lot of stuff can simply be duplicated and changed around with simple spells. Which makes me wonder: What is money in this world even for? Why would this society run on money? Why would this world - that clearly does not really have a working class (aka people artificially kept poor to have workers) - need to keep people poor?

It just does not make any sense. And it is one of the points were one really notices how the worldbuilding does not really work.

Now, mind you: A lot of authors struggle with this. It is not just Rowling. We see the issues in so many other novels and worlds. I would argue that the way how heavily Faerûn relies on coin money also does not make a whole lot of sense, either, though at the very least that world has a bit of the excuse that the money kinda needs to be there for game reasons. But... there is a reason why I ignore it at times especially when writing about the DnD:HAT crew. (I mean, my Tav kinda relies on money, due to being a service worker.)

We tend to just recreate stuff that is normal to us in the worlds we build... But I am actually gonna argue, that a lot of worlds would be a lot more interesting, when we did not do that.

[heartthumpnovel]

Heart Thump: Chapter 7

“Growing Pains”

Word count: 9437

Just got this wrapped up before I leave for a week! This is gonna be insight to how Jason is dealing with the new big changes in his life (I am not sorry). This chapter was very fun to write because it has my favorite character in it; Oliver :> By they way, since it seems people are getting interested in this story, I've seen people do tag lists for each chapter. Let me know if you're interested in that!

cw: Cursing/Swears

Last chapter: Seeking Answers

Next chapter: It Came From Outer Space

---

 Atlas Gang Group Chat November 9th @  3:00 pm

Jason: Just got out of the doctors office.

Jason: Won’t be dying anytime soon, but, It seems like I did get electrocuted at some point on the golf course. 

Ellie: FR??? Are you going to be okay?? 

Natasha: HOW?? OH MY GOD JASON HUN I AM SO SORRY!! I SHOULD OF GOT YOU TO THE HOSPITAL!!!! D’:

Motor: Shit dude. F.

Jason: Now don’t get too upset @Motor.

Jason: But to make this clear, @Natasha you have nothing to be sorry about. It wasn’t obvious and I had a bit too many drinks. I am still not sure what shocked me but I have those lighting scars on my back…

Ellie: Like Lichtenberg Figures? At Least those are the coolest scars to possibly have right? 

Jason: @Ellie I guess... I am just lucky I managed to live through it.

Motor:  bro you realize you don’t have to @ everyone you’re trying to talk to right??? It’s literally just the four of us here.

Jason: It’s called being efficient @Motor.

Motor: I don’t wanna hear pinging coming for you every five seconds. IT'S CALLED BEING ANNOYING.

Natasha: uh hey are we just gonna ignore the fact Jason nearly died from electrocution or??

Jason: Awh @Natasha It’s quite alright! The doctor said that I had little to no damage and the shock passed right through me. He did say that it was a risk considering my heart condition but, I am overall unharmed. However, he did write me up for two weeks of rest just to be on the safe side.

Natasha: Consider the call in done. Imma also gonna look into that golf course to see if there’s any loose wiring problems and give them hell!! >:(

Ellie: YEAH GIRL GET THEM!!!!

Ellie: And here I thought golf courses couldn’t get any worse. 

Ellie: But uh Jason, wasn’t there anything else the doctor … found out about your condition or?

Jason: No. Just pain medication and rest.

Motor: yeah no big deal..no BIIGG deal at all. >:3

Natasha: :/ ????

Jason: Shut it @motor. 

Natasha: Uhhhh

Ellie: Don’t worry about it Nat. :’D 

The phone screen went dark as Jason pressed the side button on his phone and shoved it deep into his pants pocket. He didn’t need the stress that Motor was giving him for nearly spilling the beans on the whole giant fiasco. It felt like the entire thing was one stupid joke away from giving away the big secret. He laid back in the bus seat and stared down at the small paper bag filled with the prescription antibiotic cream and tylenol that was settled in his lap. 

Thinking back on the doctor appointment, Jason wished he could have told his doctor everything that was happening to him. Maybe he could have gotten more than just stuff to treat the surprise scars on his back. But, the troubles that would have come from telling his doctor would have been extremely bad. His doctor could have thought that he was either having a mental breakdown, ran out of the room screaming if Jason were to prove the claim, and may have probably called the government to take him away to be then experimented on for the rest of his life. Yeah, there’s no way he was going to take those chances.

However, Jason was told that his heartbeat was now more noticeable and beating faster than usual. Not enough to be at the regular rate but a definite improvement than before the incident.  

“Huh, cure me a little bit and in exchange turn me into a freak of nature… Not really a fair trade is it?” Jason quietly mumbled to himself as he placed a hand on his chest. Looking outside the bus window to check for his stop, his mind began to wander as he witnessed the rain outside fall into the streets of Seattle. Sure, he does believe now that he was right in the middle of this weird phenomenon but it still felt so unreal. A monkey’s paw’s finger must have curled as he always wanted to be a few more inches taller, feel more happiness and have a clean bill of health. At this cost however? 

Definitely not worth it.

While listening to the bus’s public radio talk about this newly discovered meteor that was currently in orbit of the solar system, The bus slowed and pulled up to the bus stop where Jason needed to get off. He rose from his seat and stepped off the bus as quickly as he could. He just wanted to get home. Before he could make his walk back to his townhouse, Jason couldn’t help to notice the inky spot on the road that was across the bus stop. His memory started to jog and wondered how that lady with the crushed minivan was doing. 

Wait, had he seen that minivan before? Consequently, he could feel a slight pain emerge from his foot and once he put two and two together; He remembered. 

During that fateful night, he remembered getting the boot from a ride-share car. Jason couldn’t recall for the life of him why he was removed from the car or how he even was able to summon one in the first place. However, his drunk/electrocuted brain was thinking of Natasha for some reason and with the knowledge Jason gained about what happens when she enters his thoughts… 

He could only recall pieces of the night. Losing one of his nice dress shoes, stumbling in the streets, buildings slowly shrinking around him, and the moment his foot accidentally stepped on a hunk of metal that blared loudly as it was crushed beneath his weight. 

The pain in his foot stung worse and Jason immediately started speed walking down the street. He needed to get home ASAP before he unexpectedly grew again and caused more damage. If only he could repay that woman for her van and make it up to anyone else who was a victim of his carelessness. Though that would be very expensive, and he would have to admit that he was the giant freak that did it. Perhaps these one-time sins from when he didn’t know better could serve as a lesson to Jason to not let himself get carried away. 

That fast paced walking turned into a sprint as he had no faith in his wandering imagination. Thinking back on the bus ride, he realized that could have ended badly as well and Jason mentally scolded himself for putting people in danger. The few people he ran past stared at him and Jason for once didn’t care what they thought. He needed to put himself away at home where he could focus on NOT focusing on those lovingly destructive thoughts. 

He stumbled onto the stairs on his front door and shoved a hand into his pocket, fumbling on grabbing his keys. His two feet tapping anxiously on his welcome mat, and Jason using his other hand to search for the keys as well. Wait- where was his prescription bag!? His gaze darted below him and his head snapped to the bottom of the porch stairs. Jason spotted his nearly spilled out shopping bag on the sidewalk and just as fast as he sprinted there, he quickly shuffled his way down the stairs and nabbed his bag with a swift snatch. Muttering a few quiet ‘oh come ons’ before he managed to shove his key into the front door.

The front door swung open and slammed closed. Jason laid on the other side of the front door, trying to catch what little breath he had. It took the man a couple of deep breaths to find his bearings as his shoulders dropped. Though he did snap back to reality when he felt a comforting presence press on his calf. “Meow.” Jason looked down to see that his orange companion, Oliver, was already complaining about waiting for his dinner. The lovable dope had his tail raised and was rubbing his face into Jason’s pant leg, getting fur stuck on the fabric. “Awh is the little pumpkin hungry?~'' Jason cooed as he bent down and picked up Oliver by the sides to hoist the cat to be cradled into one of his arms, “Sorry I’m late, Daddy’s dealing with reality shattering stuff lately.” Jason walked into his cozy living room and dropped the prescription bag off at the coffee table while his orange fur-baby was meowing complaints. As he made his way to the kitchen, Oliver kept staring at Jason with his one eye and began to purr loudly as he lay comfortably in Jason’s scrawny arm. 

What a strange little creature.

Oliver didn’t stay in Jason’s arm for too long as he jumped off when he saw his food bowl come into view. A cat has his priorities after all. Going through the cabinets Jason started to tell his thoughts to his cat, just like any cat owner would even if the cat had no idea what the heck their owner was talking about. It wasn’t like Oliver could snitch on him or anything. 

“I honestly don’t know what’s happening to me Oliver,” Jason said as he peaked through the cabinets, “I’ve become a ticking time bomb overnight and now I am a threat to society without even meaning to be…” Jason grunted when he didn’t see the cat food in the usual place. 

“Wha- oh goodness I thought I just bought you a palette recently..” Jason spoke as he pushed some cans of soup aside and he tried to rack his brain on where in his house the cat food could be. It was about a week ago he went grocery shopping, and consequently that night had also been board game night with his friends from work. He did pick up some extra snacks for that night and Motor, while annoying he can be, actually offered to help Jason with the heavy groceries. 

He felt his blood run cold. Jason arched his neck up to the high cabinets in his kitchen. While it probably was a stupid idea for a short man like Jason to rent a home which felt like it was specifically made for tall people, it was a really good deal at the time considering he was living in Seattle. Besides, he had managed to live with it this long and had no problems since he had a step stool on hand. Though he had to admit, Motor putting the heavy cat food stack on a high shelf was seriously infuriating. 

Jason sighed and turned to find that step stool buried deep in the pantry. However, his feet stopped half way through the turn as he had a small thought sprout in his mind. What if instead of spending more precious time digging through his pantry to get the step-stool, Jason could just simply put that new side effect to good use. Jason shook his head for a moment, “Oh heavens no-” He mumbled as he took a step towards the pantry, “That’s ridiculous, I wouldn’t want to risk it…” He cleared his throat as he reached his hand over to the pantry door. The hand halted before it could grab the handle and Jason took another glance at the high up cabinet. It had never looked so close yet out of reach… 

“I mean,” Jason spoke towards Oliver, “Just maybe a little bit couldn’t hurt… Now I know about what the cause is..” “Meow.” “Yeah, it could end up being safer than throwing my back out! Smart boy, Oliver.” “Meow.” It has been decided, then. 

He made his way back to below the high up cabinet and stretched out his arms as if he was going to be entered in a weight lifting competition. A long concentrated deep breath came from him as he closed his eyes. Feeling a bit anxious from this but, if he only thought of her for a moment then it should only be a few inches right? “Alright Oliver, keep your distance.” Jason said as pushed up his glasses and wondered what he should specifically think about. Obviously nothing too intense, probably? He actually wasn’t sure when the point of no return was. His hands came together and made them hold each other. Maybe just the thought of holding her wonderfully soft palms might do the trick-- 

BANG

CRASH

“HISSSS! ROWWEEERRRR!”

CLANK

“AGGH! BOLLOCKS!!”

[Image Description: Jason grew too tall and ended up slamming his head on the ceiling. This caused him to fall back onto the kitchen island and he got smacked by a pan and is in pain.]

In one brief moment, the kitchen descended into chaos. The height that Jason had desired was passed up very quickly and his head punched itself through the ceiling, causing a huge crack to form. Debris fell and blinded Jason for a moment- causing him to stumble backwards onto the kitchen island. In a different time, it was nice to have a really good cast iron steel set of pots and pans. At the moment however, the back of Jason’s head didn’t appreciate it as he tumbled into them. His back was sprawled across the counter and all he could do was hold the back of his head, seizing in pain.

“Oooowww-” The now 10 foot tall Jason moaned, “How... have I not gotten brain damage?…” He opened his eyes to a horrifying sight, not at his ceiling being caved in nor his expensive cooking equipment being scattered everywhere; but the sight of his poor fluffed up baby boy huddling in the corner and hiding his scared face behind his puffed up tail.

“Oh… oh no pumpkin I’m so sorry...” Jason cooed, feeling like an absolutely disgusting human being, “I-I didn’t mean to scare you, It’s still me Oliver…” Jason managed to flop himself over so he could lay on this stomach comfortably. He reached out a large hand to Oliver, who at first backed up from the offered hand. The man’s heart dropped from seeing this and expected Oliver to sprint towards the bedroom to hide from the big scary monster that invaded his home. 

Instead, Oliver slowly raised his head from his tail and stared at the hand with his good eye. His nose reached over to Jason’s huge fingers and gave them a couple of small sniffs. From this new perspective Jason gained, Oliver could have been mistaken as a kitten on how small he looked. This almost made Jason’s heart soar with glee as he’d never got the chance to meet Oliver when he was a baby cat, but what really brought him glee was when Oliver rubbed his fuzzy head into Jason’s palm and let himself be wrapped by his owner’s large fingers for scratches. Tears of happiness covered Jason’s knocked askew glasses.

Forgiveness was granted. 

----

After giving Oliver double the serving that he usually had for dinner, Jason crawled through his own home to get to the bathroom. The hallways of the townhouse had become more like service tunnels as he had to duck throughout the home. While he was careful to not smack his head on any light fixtures, his feet were having a hard time adjusting to the new walkway. The pain in the back of his skull was still stinging slightly from the incident so he used his free hand to massage it while the other large hand traced the walls and grabbed onto the door frame that entered the bathroom.  

“Ugh, the new pain meds are comin’ in handy today..” Jason mumbled before he looked up at the mirror, “AH!!-- Oh… oh.” 

He yelped for a brief moment before realizing that the bathroom mirror had only reflected himself. However, he almost didn’t realize it was him due to the fact he was now completely covering the doorway and he was crouching to be able to get inside the bathroom. 

Watching his reflection, Jason's emotions morphed from surprise to a tinge of sadness. It dawned on him why his coworkers had initially been apprehensive around him. With a resigned sigh, he maneuvered into the bathroom, barely leaving any space to spare. He chuckled at the thought that he had once considered this compact bathroom relatively spacious for townhouse living. Without further ado, he removed his glasses to splash water on his face.

“...Wha- Wait what!? Are you kidding me!? Noooo,” Jason spoke out of disbelief as his glasses suddenly shrunk right as they left his face, “How the hell?...” 

Try as he might, he couldn’t put them back on his face as they just simply wouldn’t fit. Jason couldn’t exactly get himself to fit the glasses either as the pain in the back of his head made it near impossible to concentrate. 

“Oh, that’s just great…” Jason said sarcastically as he placed his glasses on the bathroom counter, “That’s how it’s going to be then.” He rubbed the arch of his nose before gingerly turning the faucet on. Splashing cool water on his face did make him feel a little bit more grounded despite the weirdness. He patted his face dry with a teal bath towel before eyeing his sweater vest and polo. 

“I guess I’m not expecting visitors or going out like this…” He mumbled to himself as he grabbed the bottom of his polo and started to pull it over his head, “But I’ll leave the trousers on for now- Ugh!” Jason grunted as he was having a bit of trouble trying to get his upper wear over his shoulders. His elbows had hit the ceiling and the lack of space made it hard to yank the polo combo off. Undeterred, Jason persisted, shifting and shimmying until he successfully removed the polo shirt. 

Jason held onto the clothing and was rather stunned as he saw that it too, had shrunk back down to his normal clothing size. This brought on more questions from Jason; Why did his clothing shrink back to normal when he took them off? Does anything in his pockets change size too? How is his clothing growing along with him and not getting ripped to shreds?

Jason shivered, perhaps he should just be grateful that he gets to remain fully clothed as the alternative would be a whole new set of problems to deal with. 

He tossed his clothes into the hamper to put an end to those thoughts and looked back at the mirror. His large hands nearly eclipsed the bathroom counter as he gingerly placed his palms on it. His eyes traced the scrawny ribs and various fresh bruises that marked the kitchen incident. An uncanny feeling was raised from within as it felt like a crime against nature itself for a body type like his to be able to fill an entire room.  

Spotting the end of the lighting scar on his shoulder, Jason reached out his fingers to touch it and turned a little bit to get a better look at the wound. The appearance of this scar shocked him as he hadn't felt pain from it till days after the incident. His muscles tensed up from touching the scarring and he pulled away to just stare at it. While getting a Lichtenberg figure from a lightning strike wasn’t uncommon, what was strange about this scar was that the entry point looked shaped like a cartoon heart. Probably a silly coincidence or a mocking branding. 

Coming to terms with his condition felt impossible, it wasn’t like anyone else in the whole world that could relate to him. He could no longer stare at the freak in the mirror and hung his head low, thoughts wondering if this meant he could never truly find happiness in a relationship. While he didn’t want to be in a relationship, now it was as if he no longer had any say in the matter. Tightness built up in his chest; what did this all even mean and why him? Perhaps he was being selfish for falling hard for someone who could be fired and have her life ruined if he’d dared to act on his feelings. 

“Meow.”

“Oliver? Oh bloody hell I left the door open didn’t I?”

“Meow!”

His eyes squinted to try to make out the fluffy orange blob that passed under his legs and was rubbing his ankle dramatically. The flick of Oliver’s tail made Jason’s frown curl into an appreciative grin. Oliver’s paw twitched a little bit from the unexpected puddle on the floor, Jason looked back up in the mirror and realized his face was completely wet with tears. 

“I-I’m sorry for crying like a big baby Oliver, That’s very unbecoming of me…”

“Meowwwwww.”

Jason reached down gingerly to hoist the fluffy noise box off of the tile and into his arms. Oliver squirmed a little as Jason tried to find a comfortable position for his fuzzy son due to his arms being much longer. It only took a few seconds to adjust and Oliver was once again cradled like a newborn comfortably. 

“Oh my gosh Pumpkin you’re so tiny~”

Jason sniffled as he used one finger to lightly pet Oliver’s fluffy tummy as he turned away from the mirror. Truthfully, It was awkward trying to shuffle out of the bathroom with a bundle that demanded attention. The kitty’s insistence was a little bit annoying, but the annoyance was overpowered by how Oliver wields his cuteness to his advantage. 

While it took a minute to navigate his home, he managed to get to his living room. Thankfully the ceiling was raised considerably, so he didn’t need to stress his back anymore. Getting to his usually comfy leather couch, Jason ever so carefully lowered himself down. The squeals from the wooden legs made him flinch and held onto Oliver for support. When he managed to sit completely down onto the couch, he sighed in relief that it didn't give way. Looking around his living room, he started to notice the fragile photographs that adorned the walls, the expensive television across from him, and plenty of breakable items that are precious to him. More things he could quite easily destroy without meaning to. 

He’d let go of Oliver and the orange fluff cloud pranced onto the low coffee table, sitting down regally with his tail covering his front paws. “Well,” Jason said, leaning down to his right and attempting to make himself comfortable on his ‘new’ loveseat sized couch, “I think it’s about time to reorganize the place, just to be on the safe side.”

The couch creaked in protest, as Jason laid his back to toe cushion and his neck cradled haphazardly on the arm rest. His long legs found it uncomfortable to curl up on the couch, so they stretched out over the opposite armrest, and the soles of his feet rested on the floor. Finally, he had managed to find some comfort in this new body of his.

He took a deep breath and- SNAP

Oliver leaped off the coffee table in response to the loud noise, caused by the couch's plywood giving way under the weight it was never meant to bear. Although it startled Jason for a moment, his body sank back onto the broken couch with a disappointed sigh. What else was new?

------

A Ravine [ Dream II ]

She was farther than ever before;

Across the Ravine.

Upon looking down, 

He couldn’t comprehend the unseen.

Before he could plead,

His chest burned.

No fear, no regrets

He took the leap.

The blue moon loomed

Claws dragged his ankles down,

Before he could cross;

Abyss cemented his doom.

Down he fell into the ravine;

Knowing he will never be seen.

Darkness consumed all,Lost forever within the Ravine.

------

It wasn’t a recent development for Ellie’s hatred of college level essays about the unclean parts about mental health. Though she didn’t like writing essays in general, she really had to double her effort from having to research grotesque subject matter. While it was necessary for her future career, damn if it wasn’t a mood killer. The blank document’s cursor flickers in mockery at Ellie as he sat on top of her bed sheets. Curled up with a nice warm cup of matcha on the side and held a firm grip on the sticker covered laptop on her lap. Sadly, she couldn’t use her love birds as an excuse to procrastinate as they were in the middle of their mid day cuddle nap. Ellie rubbed her nose in frustration, her mind pulling out blanks for an introduction for a tricky subject such as this.

After another embarrassing date going south, she wasn’t in the mood to chat up potential bachelorettes either. This left her with just herself, and the doomed assignment. 

Usually when she found herself stuck on inspiration for stuff like this, she’d head over to her best friend that was conveniently next door for guidance since he’d always had a knack for essay writing. Unfortunately, he wasn’t available and hasn’t been for a week. Ellie missed the days where they’d open their bedroom windows to chat nonchalantly about their weekend or gossip about their coworkers. It was one of the reasons why they rented these townhouses as they could stay in touch and get those sweet discounts on the places. However, every time Ellie peaked through her bedroom window to check to see if Jason was there, his curtains had remained closed. Ellie did think about heading over there herself to check if he was okay, though her deep rooted fear held her from going. It wasn’t like she was scared of Jason necessarily. What monster would be afraid of their best friend suffering from an unknown sickness? On the other hand, her sleep had been tormented with imagery of being unknowingly squashed under a heel and feeling like a helpless bug in an uncaring universe.

This part of herself she knew, long before this mess. A deep sinking feeling of panic brewed when she passed by unthinkably tall buildings and passed on Motor’s movie night ideas. If she could diagnose herself, she'd guess it was a classic case of megalophobia. That fear was usually unfounded and didn’t affect her life day to day usually so she wasn’t that upset about it. Until now. While she did manage to push through it during their experiments in the forest for her friend’s sake, she did have to binge through videos of kitten fostering videos to cope through the tears.

Ellie noticed that she was gripping the sides of her laptop and biting her tongue as her stress boiled over. Her laptop was pushed onto her bed and she rose from her sheets with a determination filled with obligation. She rushed to her drawers and got dressed into her usual autumn weekend outfit.

Her heart couldn’t take the communication break down anymore. Ellie needed to make sure Jason was alright and the thought of abandoning her friend when he needed her most made her feel like a disgusting coward. 

Ellie snatched her keys and rushed by her chirping lovebirds as she made her way to the front door. Once she shuffled down the front steps, her gaze turned to Jason’s front door. At first she couldn’t find the strength to move her feet, the mere thought of what could be happening in there made her blood run cold. Though it was too late to bail now. 

With one last look at her front door, Ellie sighed and her heavy feet walked up to the front door of Jason’s home and she knocked her fist on the door. Ellie’s shoulders jumped when she heard a dramatic thud coming from within the home. Her concern only grew from there as the noise was followed with a few scraping noises and then silence. 

“Uh, Hey man are y-” Ellie said before the front door suddenly swung open, revealing a normal sized, but uncommonly disheveled Jason with a deceitfully wide grin. 

[Image Description: A very concerned Ellie staring at Jason, who has opened his front door and is leaning on the door frame with a wide guilty grin.]

“Heeeeey Ellie,” Jason said, with fake cheerfulness, “It’s so nice to see you! Man alive, how long has it been?” “Uh, about a week…” Ellie said, trying to peek her head behind Jason, “Wanted to check in on… things.”

Jason shoved his head in the way of Ellie’s eye line while he kept that telling grin on his face. “OH! Things have been just swell! ” Jason paltered.

And as if the universe itself took offense, a shelf crashed to the floor. 

Ellie peered further over Jason’s shoulder and decided to push him aside despite Jason’s protest. To no one’s surprise; everything wasn’t swell in Jason’s abode. Bits of the ceiling fluttered onto the carpet and the cardboard boxes that had been hastily taped up. Once Ellie looked up, she could see multiple sized dents in the ceiling with a few expensive looking holes.

“Jason…” Elllie gasped, turning to look at Jason who at this point was hiding his face with his fingers. “I know…” Jason groaned, “the landlord is going to bloody kill me.”

Ellie gestured her hands towards the disaster in his house, “You did all of this in a week!?” Her voice raised, more so out of concern than disbelief. Jason kept his head low and moved past her into his ruined living room in shame as he laid a hand on one of the boxes. “Getting used to this disease has been harder than I anticipated…” Jason confessed, “I’ve been putting everything breakable away and haven’t left the house for days.” At this point he had completely dropped the act, his face darkened in shame. 

“Oh gods…” Ellie said as she reached a hand out to Jason’s shoulder to comfort him. Though right before she could, she heard a familiar yowl come from the couch. Her attention was shattered and she cooed at Oliver, who was trying to take a needed nap and was rudely woken up by the commotion. Ellie bee-lined towards the couch and scooped up the orange fluff ball into her arms. 

“Right, that’s why you came over,” Jason said with snark as he approached the two. 

“Nooo, I did come over to see how you were doing,” Ellie said as she bounced Oliver like a newborn, “But I mean, come on look at him!” She hoisted Oliver up in her arms and the look in his eye showed that there was truly a void of nothing behind it. 

Jason couldn’t wallow forever and acquiesced with a chuckle. He petted the top of Oliver’s head and kept his eyes on his little furry friend as he spoke to Ellie. “He somehow still loves me after all of this mess, ” Jason said, “Though I’m not sure how long I can control myself to keep him safe.” 

An awkward silence filled the room after that. Ellie sighed as she looked at her dissonant friend and she gave herself a moment to ponder the situation. She took note of the crater’s in the ceiling and the clearly evident eye bags below Jason’s eyes. “How much sleep are you getting?” Ellie asked as she set Oliver free. The cat pranced out of Ellie’s arm and onto the back of the broken couch. Jason sighed as he put a hand on his forehead in foggy thought. “None,” Jason complained, “I’ve been having a lot of dreadful nightmares and I’m afraid I’ll wake up to find myself homeless.” 

Ellie anxiously tapped the broken remains of his couch and took a deep breath. She gave a comforting gaze to Jason despite her own comfort. “Why don’t you come over to my place?” Ellie suggested, “We can try to do research on this thing, just like what we used to do in college.” She put a firm hand on Jason’s shoulder as he recoiled in shock. Before his stuttering could refuse, his head shook vehemently and he tried to pull away. “Wh-what!?” Jason exclaimed, “N-no! No, that's a terrible idea! Do you want me to get you in trouble with the landlord too!?” Ellie thought to argue that. “Look around, You’ve been isolated for way too long and it’s gonna drive you nuts!” Ellie said as she gestured her hand to the disastrous state of Jason’s living room, “Besides, I know that you’re gonna be extra careful if the house isn’t yours, you’re too considerate.” Jason folded his arms. It was very rare that he was unsure of his friend’s judgment, though at the moment, his doubts were plenty. “It’s dangerous,” Jason said, “I’m not keeping myself locked in my house for no reason Ellie.” He pushed Ellie’s hand away grimly and stared at the floor longingly. 

Well, Ellie didn’t care for that one bit. She took it upon herself to scoop up Oliver, who chipped in surprise,  from the couch and marched towards the door. “In that case, I’m sure Oliver would love to study with me to find out how to cure your stubborn butt.” Ellie said while she headed straight towards the front door with a sly grin on her face. “Wait- WAIT ELLIE,” Jason called after her and clumsily followed her trail like a helpless puppy, “You can’t just take my cat! Hey- ELLIE! HOLD JUST A SECOND-!!” 

------

If one were forced to think of one word to describe Ellie’s living room, it could very well be ‘serene’. The place definitely looked lived in, but it was a very clean mess of psychology textbooks on the handed-down oak coffee table, that had been gifted to her by her mothers. Pots were placed around the room that cradled many different types of plant life, and in one corner, Ellie's cassette collection laid haphazardly near her vintage boombox. Despite the apparent disorganization, she never had trouble locating any mix-tape in that pile. Music selection was not a frequent problem, though, as her two very vocal love birds' cage occupied a central position in the living room.

Jason had been sitting quite uncomfortably on her bequeathed bargain couch, though not due to the lack of support from the couch, but because he was essentially held hostage there. His traitorous kitty decided he wanted to spend time with auntie Ellie after being catnapped. He crossed his arms pouting, trying to ignore the smug look she had on her face as she entered the kitchen. “Whatcha want to drink?” Ellie asked.

“Earl grey,” Jason said, “Also you’re evil.” “I know,” Ellie playfully replied as she disappeared through the doorway. 

As much as he wanted to right then, Jason couldn’t seethe forever and eventually released the breath he was holding. He knew she was just trying to help but he was more scared than angry at her insistence. His gaze checked around the room for anything potentially breakable and expensive. By the end of the first week of being a circus freak, he’d picked up a new awareness of how fragile things can be and how much of a hassle it would be to replace them. Jason stood up from the couch, not wanting to dwell on how much money he was already losing, and made his way over to the pair of love birds. 

“Ah! Hello Mango and Papaya,” Jason greeted them as he leaned over to the cage,  “Oliver is in the guest room right now so you two can stretch your wings, yeah?” Mango squealed in agreement as the door to the cage was opened and she hopped excitedly onto Jason’s hand. Papaya decided to stay cautious and only peaked her head out to check on Mango’s well-being. Mango had always been the more approachable one out of the couple. Jason’s thumb scratched the love bird’s neck and ruffled her head feathers. She leaned her head towards his hand in merriment, as her closed eyes smiled in bliss. For a minute, Jason completely forgot that he was forced to be there against his will. He showered the bird in affection until their wholesome interaction was cut short. 

Despite the desperate neck stretches and opening her beak to show authority, Jason didn’t realize that Paypapa wasn’t going to let her soulmate be taken by some human tart. She thought to rectify this slight and confronted Jason with a hard bite on the fingertip. “Owch! Okay fine I’ll put her down, god-” Jason stammered as he let both birds onto the top of their cage. He rubbed the small bite mark on his finger as he saw his aggressor frantically groom Mango. Despite the pain of being chomped on, Jason chuckled after the fact. “My apologies,” Jason said, “I almost forgot you’re a bonded pair.” While he was not a bird expert, it was obvious that Papaya was just trying to protect her sweet girlfriend.  How romantic.

Only for a moment Jason got lost in thought, unaware of his surroundings as his mind was swooned by the very idea of soulmates and his longing desire to have one for himself. To be honest, he did feel a tad jealous these birds have a better love life than he ever will. The train of thought crashed as he heard a loud gasp, tea being spilled and the feeling of the ceiling pushing down on his head. 

“Oh gods, J-JASON!” Ellie stuttered, trying to regain her composure from nearly suffering from a heart attack by the sight of a giant suddenly appearing in her house.  Panic flooded onto Jason’s face as he realized he wasn’t as careful as he thought he was. “I-I’m sorry!” Jason begged as he tried to crouch down, trying to make him seem smaller in vain, “I’ll try not to break anything on the way out.” Before he could start crawling towards the front door in a fit of panic, Ellie rushed to set the un-spilled mug of earl gray onto her coffee table and approached him. “Wait!” Ellie said, with her phobia and compassion at war with each other, “You don’t have to go! It’s fine, I swear!”  

Jason halted and looked at her in disbelief. While he wasn’t the best at reading people like Ellie was, even he could tell that Ellie was terrified of him and was just trying to be polite. “I know you’re scared of me,” Jason said bluntly, “My feelings aren’t hurt, I’ll just take my leave.” 

A harsh tug on the bottom of his t-shirt stopped him from turning around. He looked over to see that Ellie is gripping the fabric as if she was able to actually keep the man the size of a Honda from escaping. Though that sad desperate look in her eyes may as well have bolted him to the floor.

"No! I might be scared, but I'm even more terrified for your well-being!" Ellie argued, “No matter what horrifying thing you turn into; Giant, cockroach, hell, a giant cockroach! I’m still not going to abandon you!” Jason sighed heavily and before he could even begin to formulate an argument, Ellie cuffed her full hands together. “Please let me help you,” she pleaded, “you don’t have to deal with this alone.”

Jason felt this stomach tie up in knots. He’d already felt guilty for being a terrible house guest, but he couldn’t just say no to her insistence. Jason stared at the floor in shame as he admitted defeat. “Fine,” Jason said, “I’ll stay.” 

Ellie smiled, releasing her shaking hands and turned to pick up the spilled tea mug off of the floor. “We’ll figure it out,” Ellie said, “Besides, what kind of a cat dad leaves their precious baby behind?~” Jason groaned, “Don’t push it.”

----

This impromptu study session really did bring back those college freshman memories when Ellie and Jason had to cram for exams. However, the tension wasn’t being built by a demanding deadline. Ellie felt the stress when she peaked over her laptop and saw the gargantuan man sitting next to her couch trying to gently sip the tiny mug in his massive hands. His fingers fidgeted around the mug's handle uncomfortably. He also kept hesitantly pulling the cup towards his lips but, whenever it got near his mouth, he pulled away reluctantly. Watching this constant backpedaling was starting to be unbearable to watch. “Dude, I can make you tea in a mixing bowl,” Ellie commented, glancing over to see Jason’s grimacing face being offended by the mere suggestion.

“What? No,” Jason said as he tried to ‘properly’ hold his mug, “I don’t need to feel anymore out of place than I already am.” He uncomfortably shifted as he glanced down at his remarkably large hands that nearly enveloped the little mug. Ellie rolled her eyes, sharing that same gaze to his mug. “Getting accommodated doesn’t make you weird,” Ellie said, taking a sip herself before turning her attention back to her internet browser, which had several open Wikipedia tabs. They’d been looking at a variety of human body size disorders that could fit the bill. None of them helped in the slightest, since it seemed like Jason’s condition was anything but normal for a human. Ellie started to mass-close all of those useless tabs as Jason sighed in defeat and sat the mug onto the coffee table gingerly. 

“I don’t even know why we’re bothering trying to search this… thing on the internet,” Jason said, folding his arms, “It’s not like some other poor sod could be going through the same deal, and if we do find something, it’d be some weirdo’s fantasy writing.”

Ellie thought for a moment before snapping her fingers. “Myths! We can look at legends around the globe for answers,” Ellie said excitedly as she started to type search terms in the browser bar. “Why myths?,” Jason asked, “Shouldn’t we be looking for, you know, factual evidence?” “There’s a nugget of truth in a lot of cultural tales,” Ellie explained as she pulled up more web pages filled with different stories concerning giants, “Maybe one of them is actually true.” “You’re sounding an awful lot like Motor,” Jason said as he pushed himself a tad closer to Ellie and arched his neck so he could get a look at the kind of ridiculous stuff she was searching for. The listings had notable large figures such as the treacherous Gogmagog to the vastness of the Daidarabotchi, though many of these listings seemed to pull up gods or malevolent creatures. Jason was sure he was definitely not either of those things.

Probably.

While Ellie may have been on the right track, Jason couldn’t see how any of these beings and monsters had any relation to him. Though it was getting hard to read her laptop screen as she kept tabbing through websites at top speed. While this made Ellie great at procrastinating and getting away with it in her college classes, Jason wanted to research too.

A brief flicker of recognition flashed registered in Jason’s brain as he spotted golden fur for a split second through Ellie’s browsing. Quickly Jason leaned over her and without thinking, slammed his hand next to hers. “Hold on! Can you… Ellie?” Jason attempted to ask before he realized that Ellie’s body froze suddenly. The only thing that was moving was her shivering hand. It felt like her entire soul left her chest and seeing a huge hand that could have weighed more than a brick nearly missed hitting her frail fingers. Ellie’s neck craned slowly tilted her head upwards hesitantly to be met with Jason’s wide chest. Ellie was rendered speechless and Jason eventually picked up on that. He lurked away from her, sputtering apologizes as he proceeded to sit on his hands. “I’m so sorry I-I didn’t think about- I’ll keep myself right here,” Jason nervously trembled as he watched Ellie let go of a sigh of relief she herself didn’t realize she was holding.

“Warn me next time will ya? Geeze,” Ellie said as she tried to regain her composure and sense of safety, “could’ve lost my writing hand.” Compulsively, Ellie rubbed her wrist as she kept her eyes off of Jason for the time being. For now, she pushed down that icky feeling of distress and flicked through some of the back pages silently to see what Jason nearly broke her hand for.

“...It’s uh- … the golden dog I think,” Jason muttered with his gaze glued to the floor, “It looked familiar.” After a quiet moment that felt like ages, Ellie finally spoke up again after taking a swig of her tea.

“The Golden Beast,” Ellie began to read out loud, “A phenomenon seen around the world of a large golden canine that is very elusive, but it is said to be a symbol of great change and good harvest.”

Jason waited for a moment to listen intently to Ellie’s lecture, but nothing else came. “... and?” Jason asked, though he got his answer when Ellie shrugged with a disappointed look. “That’s it, not much information written down here,” Ellie responded as she went ahead to search for the term elsewhere on the internet. Both of them would be lying if they said they weren’t disappointed, especially Jason. 

“I swear I’ve seen something that looked similar but,” He commented as he easily finished off his tea with a single sip, “I just can’t seem to recall anything.” He sat the mug down and watched Ellie peruse through a few websites, but in the end didn’t seem to find much else about the mysterious beast. 

“Another brick wall… bummer,” Ellie said as she stretched her arms outward, making sure her wrists weren’t getting sore. Her bones cracked as she rolled her shoulder, she had attempted to loosen up and let go of the pent up anxiety she had plenty of. In her peripheral vision she could see Jason reaching his head to the side to look hopelessly at Ellie’s laptop without having to get too close to her. 

“There really is nothing that can help me is there?” Jason said as he slumped, “Figures.” The two of them sat in silence for a while, unsure of what they could possibly do next or even find a trail to follow for the answers to their building questions. Ellie even half-mindly scrolled through news sites for anything unusual happenings. Though other than a couple of strange meteoroids being found around the globe, it was all mostly just news of politicians lying, groan worthy e-celebrity drama and a heartwarming story of a local pit bull named Twinkles saving a bus full of deaf school children from falling into the Vancouver River.

Ellie took a deep breath, “Jason I’m sorry I can’t…” Before Ellie could properly apologize to him, she noticed that Jason had a few visitors perched on the top of his head that were tugging tufts of his hair. Though he didn’t seem to notice it himself until he saw the despair disappear from Ellie’s face and she started to chuckle. She couldn’t keep a straight face for even a second. 

[Image Description: Mango and Papaya are playing in Jason’s hair and Ellie is just sitting there. LAUGHING. ]

“Hey, what are you two doing!?” Jason exclaimed, trying to gently shoo away the uninvited guests. The birds of course, did not even acknowledge Jason’s attempts to evict them. Papaya just tugged at tufts of his hair to see if she could make a nest and Mango naively rolled around in the strange grass they discovered. If he had just been a little more stern, he could have negotiated with Mango and Papaya to retreat. However, Jason’s hesitant hands and soft voice made it clear that he wasn’t going to risk being slightly rough with Ellie’s pets.

“Uh- a little help please?” Jason asked as he turned his awkward gaze back to Ellie. She stood up from the couch, and from there, she had to hold on a second to take in how large her friend had become. Her mind could still barely comprehend a giant human being real and be sitting in her house. However, that pleading look in his eyes that paired with his helplessness from the invasion of her birds made one thing very clear: Despite her skin crawling, he was still a harmless dork. “They probably think you’re a tree,” Ellie giggled, feeling confident enough to wave him down closer to her. The giant hesitated, unsure if he really wanted to loom over her like a beastly ogre and give her heart’s well being a run for its money. That thought ended quickly though as Papaya started to nip at the brim of Jason’s glasses. “Oh good grief,” Jason mumbled, rolling his eyes and leaned down towards Ellie’s direction. His shadow engulfed Ellie as he eclipsed the ceiling light to draw closer. The heart in her chest might have exploded in fear when he bowed his head at her. Though upon seeing the little trouble maker’s untroubled play in his hair, Ellie’s shaking ceased. Perhaps, there wasn’t anything for her to worry about after all. Ellie reached her hands out to coerce her babies onto her shoulder and pushed aside tufts of hair to get to them. Though she froze when she felt a huge sigh brush against her legs. “I don’t know what to do,” Jason groaned, “no one in the world is going to know how to help me, never mind fix me.” His fingers halfheartedly fiddled with his socks, not really giving Ellie’s fiddling with his hair much mind. Ellie frowned, placing her birds onto her shoulder and gave the crown of Jason’s head a few pats. “Thanks,” Jason said. “No problem…” Ellie responded, though she did pause for a moment to contemplate a suggestion that Jason probably wasn’t going to like very much.  “You know, ” Ellie continued, “there is someone who knows a lot about giants and he already knows about this curse.” “No way,” Jason objected, raising his head up to look Ellie in the face. She stepped back in a panic, trying to not be in the path of his drastic head swing. “Wait- hear me out,” Ellie pleaded, “Motor might be a bit… eccentric, but he might be our only available expert on how to handle yourself when you’re like- big.”

“He’s not a professional Ellie, he's a nerd,” Jason said, folding his arms indignant, “all he’d be able to teach me would be how to level a hospital.” Jason kept coming up with complaints while he watched her carry her birds back to their cage. Though most of those unwarranted complaints went through one ear and out the other. “And he’s just not all that bright honestly, how could I trust that ido… ” Jason’s rant was cut short by the daggers Ellie was staring at him, “My bad.” He learned to shut his mouth and sat there with gripped hands on his knees. “I know you two aren’t always on the best of terms,” Ellie said, “but he wants to help you and might be your only option for insight.”

The very idea of Jason having to grovel to Motor for help was already humiliating enough, but reaching out to him about this life threatening disease? Jason would almost rather stay indoors for the rest of his life. Realistically however, it would be only a matter of time before he hurts someone or destroys his house. Unfortunately it would seem like getting help from Motor was going to be his only option even if it was going to be an agonizing experience. 

“Augh, Alright then if I don’t have a choice,” Jason said with a defeated sigh, “can’t help to feel that this is going to be a big mistake.”

Ellie closed the bird cage behind her, “Come on man,” she said as she walked back to Jason with a smile on her face, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”

“Something terrible I reckon,” Jason responded, his fingers gripping his knees with another long sigh, “Also uh, can you help me shrink back to normal please?”

-----

Nothing happens in Stanley, Idaho. Well, that’s how one particular citizen would like to keep it. 

This unassuming older woman stepped out of her lifted jeep with little effort and made her way inside the tea shop. A subtle exchange of knowing nods were exchanged between her and the front store worker as she walked past the meticulously put together display of various tea leaves. Upon reaching the elevator in the back of the shop, she proceeded to press the following buttons: Lobby, 1, 9, 8, 7, and pound. The elevator closed, and took her below the ground floor, which shouldn’t be possible for a two-story building. 

As the elevator took its sweet time, she glanced down at her Hamilton military watch and gripped onto her steaming hot americano in her other hand. Seeing the watch read ‘5:00am’ made her groan with distaste. It was way too early for her to be up at her age. Duty calls, however, and she begrudgingly accepted.

After waiting for what felt like an eternity for the elevator to stop on the correct floor, she stepped out and was greeted by a long metal corridor that was barricaded with several security doors. Unperturbed, the woman walked up to each door, the same song and dance she always put up with to get to her damn office. Fingers to the hand scanners, eyes to the headache inducing retina scanners, and the most embarrassing of all, sticking her tongue out to a DNA analysis to let her through the final door. She had wondered if the engineers thought that last trial was some kind of bad joke. 

Nevertheless, She slogged into the massive intelligence operation room that was filled with the panicked voices of government workers. They have all been responding to all sorts of calls for assistance to deal with found anomalies and confused 911 operators. However, the older woman was used to this chaos, and promptly walked past all of the pesky underlings trying to ask her questions. Even if she wanted to answer their queries, she had no idea what was going on or what she was called in for during her vacation. 

Once she got to her office, she took off her windbreaker coat and wearily donned her standard issue FAIRA director’s coat. Before she headed to her desk, her hand shuffled through her windbreaker coat’s pocket and pulled out an opened box of cigarettes. Today was going to be difficult, why else would her superiors spring a surprise call-in on her? It didn’t take long for her to sit down at her desk and log her passwords into the computer with the help of her countless post it notes. The video call did not take its time either, ringing the moment her desktop loaded. She rolled her eyes and answered. 

“Witch reporting in, receiving you loud and clear Eagle,” the director spoke before she heard the ear-grating voice come from the other end. 

“EEEY BLAIR! How’s it goin’ grandma?”

“Sir, we have discussed this, we need to use our code names, also do not refer to me as grandma ever again.”

“OOOOH YEEEAAAH… I forgot.”

“Of course, sir. Anyway, was there any godforsaken reason why I was pulled from my vacation?”

“Calm down grandma! This is your crop and you gotta be the cream of it, ya hear?”

“Just get to the point.” “Aye soooo, we got a situation brewin’ up in the lil’ Washington, oooh yeah. You gotta take care of this ASAP. Ya see, they found these shiny rocks fallin’ out of the sky and it looks like your ring, if you catch my drift.”

“Right, so why isn’t NASA leading this operation?” “HMmmmmm uh, remember those budget cuts?” “I see.” “And while I love my guys in camo, they ain’t got the brain cells like your eggheads do, ooohh nooo.” “Fine, I’ll dispatch my team in the pacific northwest immediately-” “Oh no sister! You’re goin’ to pack your bags too!” “What!? Why?” “Cuz I noticed yer always sitting on your ass in that chair for years and I think you’re forgettin’ what it’s like to be one of your men, grandma.”

“My way of running things does not hold any relevance to the situation and for the last time; stop calling me grandma. I have a codename, Eagle, use it. ”

“It does more than you think chica, with somethin’ this big, I don’t think you should skimp on it. Plus, it’s the big Eagle’s orders so ya got no choice ya hear me?” She groaned, “…Understood sir.”

[lunareel]

I know everyone seems more interested mario and luigi's relationship in 'mario and the phantom' au but I really wanna know/see more of Luigi and the shy-guys or Luigi and Peach.

I'm a very big fan of the whole 'taken in as one of their own' trope, and unlike with peach who like, doesn't remember her original family or human society and culture, Luigi does, which I feel makes the relationship between him and his adopted family and like place in the whimsical mushroom kingdom world even more interesting to delve into

I'm gonna hijack this ask, because when I was answering this, it ended up touching upon the problems I have faced in my writing and I want to keep you guys on the same page.

Originally, this was going to be under keep reading, but screw it. I don't want anyone to miss this. Because I have made major screw ups trying to make this comic while also learning a lot.

I swear this ends in good news. Just read through it first.

For the ask:

All three are very good in their own right. Personally, the one I'm most excited to show is Princess Peach and Luigi. I have it written to where they have two main chapters where they team up. One of them is Luigi and Peach tackling the TTYD adventure together and the other I am keeping a surprise! I'm only mentioning the TTYD one because I did spoil that in a previous ask. (Listen I'd like to have some surprises.)

I also have a script covering that exact topic where the two of them have a discussion on Mario's warp pipe and their respective feelings on their original homes. I haven't drawn it yet because I keep going back and forth whether it should be a standalone comic or in the main story. As I could see it working for either.

The shy guys, I actually would like to do a few standalone comics focusing on Luigi's early life with them. Specifically, I want to focus on his adventures and him dealing with King Wart who while he will not appear in the main comic has a pretty big impact on how Mr. L's reputation came to be. I currently have two of those comics story boarded which reveals this tidbit.

For Mario's relationship to Luigi, while that is very important to the comic it is not the only thing I want to focus on. I am not sure how many have noticed but for the header of the last short for this au where Peasley was featured I called it "The Phantom" instead of Mario and the Phantom as I realized while working on it, its been going more into Luigi's adventures with different characters. And I was worried by having Mario's name in the title would suggest he gets an even amount of focus. Don't worry the tag for this comic is staying the same though, not changing that tag for a third time, just don't want to mislead people when it is not solely focused on those two.

What I have learned writing this/experience so far:

I have learned a lot while working on this both good and bad. My initial goal was to have everything written first, then I go into story boarding, then cleanup and then posting. This way I could post pages weekly. I was thinking to myself "Yeah this would be the most efficient way to make this and it gets a nice schedule for it."

Oh man, I have never been more wrong in my life. I have learned that writing this has hit a lot of issues I've had with perfectionism which has led to causing personal issues I've had with myself to resurface. Like hot damn I did not foresee this at all.

It has been so frustrating working on this. More so in that I'm writing, and I say I'm writing it, but I still don't have anything to show because well it's just in the writing stage. Since I set the goal for myself to have everything written before I draw anything. Which has not worked out for me at all. What has happened is that I have been writing and writing, but then I end up going "Well, this doesn't feel good enough" so then I rewrite it, or worse I just straight up delete it. Then I begin to feel even worse because I have lost more progress than I have made. And there has been at least a month or two where I just stare at the document, start writing and then delete everything I have done because I am just so embarrassed and ashamed I don't have anything to show yet. So it feels like in a way I'm lying being like "Hey I am working on this, I can't show anything yet but I am working on it." But that's the problem, I just have text not an actual comic to show which leads back into the loop of being angry at myself for not having anything posted yet.

And I'm writing this to explain why it's been a while with no physical updates to show for this. Because when I make progress, I start to think it's not good enough or I don't like xyz about this thing so I scrap it and restart all over again. No joke I have four different documents all covering different scripts for the same chapter.

I ended up talking to my therapist about this comic because of how angry I have gotten with myself for this comic. Of how I just keep rewriting and rewriting and I don't get anything just done, because I keep telling myself I need everything completely written and done before I can start drawing.

I had no clue that working on this comic would bring up so many of my old perfectionist and somewhat destructive tendencies.

I know you're reading this and thinking, uhhh didn't you say this has good news. Yes it does, it has good news and here it comes.

My therapist has been working with me to find a better way to tackle my problems with writing. So that I'm not hacking and slashing at everything I make and so that there is at least something there to show. So that I can keep this comic fun (and safe) for me and share it with you guys!

Instead of writing everything all at once and having every single little thing done before drawing. I am going to just start tackling it by finishing the script of one chapter stop my writing there and instead of writing the next chapter I start drawing the chapter that I just finished. Then when that is done I start working on the next script. I really should've been doing this in the beginning, but you know first time doing this gotta learn somehow.

And so far I finally have a one main chapter script I am actually happy with. Which I have not felt for any of my other scripts.

Which leads me to announce that later this month (or early to mid August if life happens you just never know) the prologue chapter for this comic will be shared!! And I am so excited for this and I really hope you guys enjoy it! Going to be starting its story boards later this week.

I do want to make it clear though that this means that there will be gaps of time where the next chapter isn't shared yet (also let me be very clear when I say gaps of time it could be MONTHS, I have school, work and life along side writing this comic). I don't want to mislead anyone when I say that.

I am still figuring out whether or not to share the entire chapter in one go or just share it page by page, and how many panels is adequate for one page.

I'm trying to remind myself that this comic should be fun first and foremost and for this past year it has been fluctuating on that, but I'm still going. I'm doing a round two for how I tackle this. I am truly sorry that I didn't share this about writing this comic sooner and that it is taking me so freaking long. I have been so embarrassed and angry for just how long it has taken me to show anything for this.

So thank you guys for waiting and being patient with me. I have never done a long chapter by chapter comic before and I look forward to seeing where this goes.

I hope you guys will tune in for when I post the prologue later this month.❤️

[valentine-writes]

for you!

「 tws + notes: no tws, fluff, not edited, kinda ooc my bad,, im learnin,,, 」

↳ ft. gwen stacy, hobie brown/spider-punk, miguel o'hara/spider-man 2099, miles morales, and pavitr prabhakar

「 gn! reader, can be platonic or romantic <3 」

author's note: obvi strictly platonic for miles, pav, + gwen but like. anyways!! just practicing writing for them becuz otherwise they will be So OOC for everyone's reqz and i literally would die. highkey struggled a bit but i'm tryin y'all!!! ("trying" but this is unedited ASF) ...eveyone look away from my obvious bias for gwen i heart her. i wanna,, also write for more characters eventually,, sooo,, hc reqs,,, hehehe :3 no full ficz,,, yet-

GWEN STACY headcanons:

▸ she doesn't do friends. not really anymore. oh but like. aside from miles, ur also an exception.

your friendship just kinda. happened?? it was a slow process but eventually y'all got close

▸ you supported her in her band endeavours! u know how knives chau rocks the homemade sex bob-omb merch in scott pilgrim vs the world (sorry 4 being a scott pilgrim fan and referencing it. im battling DEMONS.) THATZ U. biggest supporter for realz!! and she appreciates it so so much :,(

▸ she tries to hold u at arms length initially but ends up missing u too much when ur not around :( you've gotten really close to her over time– something neither of you had expected. but having a friend is refreshing for her. she's secretly always just a little anxious about losing you.

one time, in the middle of your developing friendship, she just kinda... dipped. left you on seen, didn't return your calls– you hadn't seen her in a while. but she came back, apologized profusely (through a lot of stumbled sentences and awkward rambles), and then swore never to do it again. you were... conflicted. so you asked her if anything was wrong and she mustered the courage to be vulnerable with you.

you are probably one of the first people in a long time that she'd actually been able to open up to.

▸ sleepovers where u jus stay up and watch slasher films. idk man i just feel this one in my heart. even if ur not particularly fond of horror, gwen is cool abt it if u need to cover ur eyes or hide under a blanket. y'all are practically screaming at the screen whenever the protagonist makes a dumb choice, acting like the characters can actually hear u

"if you go into that FUCKING BASEMENT I SWEAR–"

"nah– she's doing it. watch. WATCH."

"I CANT"

HOBIE BROWN headcanons:

▸ u are NOT calling this guy hobart. the first time u ever called him that Everyone Else was thrown off. like. no. we gonna stick w/ hobie for this one.

you, however, had the funny little idea of shortening his nickname even further. now sometimes– just on occasion– it's bee.

naturally, he's too cool to care abt what he's called, so he doesn't seem to have too many feelings about your overly cutesy nickname for him.

▸ you know any instruments? great. jam sessions with him. you don't? he'll teach you to play guitar. few ppl are given permission to touch His Guitar... but he can afford to make exceptions.

as he's teaching you, his chest collides against ur back a couple times, his hands guiding yours. he'll gently guide your fingers on the fretboard and yeah it's like– maybe not the most efficient way to learn. but whatever. he's pretty good with helping you figure it out.

▸ if you express wanting a piercing, tattoo or wanting to change up your hair (dying it, cutting it, whatever–) he's immediately gonna be like. "yea? ok. bathroom. right now." he'll help you out. king of diy truly.

and hey, the piercings never get infected, the stick and pokes turn out fine, the haircuts never look that bad, and the hair dye doesn't turn out awful so like. win???

supports you in your impulsive choices– piercings can close, diy tattoos fade, hair can grow– but the joy of self expression iz 4eva!!!!

▸ he lets you steal clothes from him. totally will point it out, but won't be all that bothered by it. HE'S GONNA BE TAKING FROM UR CLOSET TOO you practically share a wardrobe at this point. the others slowly become unable to differentiate which clothes you and hobie own individually. even if your wardrobes are completely different– trust he will find a way to keep a small piece of you with him

MIGUEL O'HARA headcanons:

▸ this man is emotionally distant asf. how did you achieve this relationship with him. answer: no clue!!! (｡･･｡) now that ur tight w/ him i am begging you. for the sake of the multiverse. get this man a therapy consultation RIGHT NEOWWW..... they literally have therapy services available in the spider society hq. if you dont HAUL HIS ASS OVER THERE–

▸ it's really no secret miguel has a soft spot for you. though he is very adamant about the fact that he doesn't– most people know that he's a little less grumpy with you around.

you seem to be one of the only people who can actually make him smile. which is. crazy. the first time he ever laughed at a joke you made you just kinda froze and stared at him, wondering if you had just vividly hallucinated miguel being happy. it was a light chuckle, where he kinda,, put his hand over his mouth and looked away. but it was SHOCKINGGG

▸ if you managed to get along with miguel, you're probably also besties with lyla. miguel however does not enjoy this. mainly because you two gang up on him. a lot. aka whenever ur arguing about anything w/ miguel, lyla is more likely to take your side. for funzies!!! she calls you her favourite– and it's like. man. are you getting along with miguel just for his little hologram assistant? i would but im gon shut my mouth on this one

it's funny how easily u two get along. she has officially attached all his bank info to ur online shopping accs and gaming shit. go wild. he'll never know (he finds out.. eventually.)

▸ it's actually really weird how you affect him. and everyone's noticing. he's constantly overworking himself to preserve the safety of the multiverse and when he's not, he's reminiscing on the past- but you give him something that he hasn't had in a while- an actual break. you pull him away from his responsibilities, from the screens he gazes into for so long, and for once he can relax. even if it's just for a minute

MILES MORALES headcanons:

▸ i saw hcs of a friendship w/ miles like gumball and darwin and i literally cannot get it out of my head. y'all r tight like that!!!! itz canon now. considering miles doesn't have a lotta friends (in his universe, at least) he's glad to have you!!! you're probably one of the people he hangs around the most. if you're somewhere, miles is probably somewhere around you too. and if he is not? he's probably just late. spiderman-ing around nyc probably

▸ his parents have really grown to like you too!!! let's assume u dont pull a gwen and address them by their first names. (i love her so much no shade at all but PLEADYUWEGFEHF that was So White of her) miles always has you over to hang out– which usually means you're invited to have dinner with them. his mom especially is always makin sure ur feeling at home and u got enough on ur plate (she is so sweet i adore her)

miles is constantly hearing: "when are they coming over again? you haven't had them over in a while-" rio hearts u. (and i heart rio.)

▸ STREET ART WITH MILES STREET ART WITH MILES– he def taught u what he learned from his uncle aaron. eventually u found a place you two can spray paint 2gether and u go w/ him whenever u need to destress a bit ^_^ it doesn't matter what ur skill level is in art, he's happy to teach you! sometimes, for practice, he'll even draw you!!! and though he hasn't shown you yet,,, he's been comfortable enough w/ you to leave his sketchbook open when you're around

▸ ALSO!! your hangouts probably have a killer soundtrack. u share a collaborative playlist w/ miles and swap recommendations every so often– so whenever ur both 2gether and jus chilling you've got good music 2 blast which is a combo of both ur tastes!!! he probably loves ur music, even if itz something he doesn't typically listen to. it's jus so you.

▸U ARE HIS CANVAS NOW. if u let him, he'll doodle in pen on your arm. he's always so focused, his eyes fixed on your skin as he doodles all over your forearm and hand. his grip is gentle as he turns your arm, tilting it every so often to make sure it looks right. there is no awkward silence, no pressure to make conversation- the quiet shared is comforting.

eventually he runs out of space and blinks up at you,, almost forgetting who he was drawing on. he'll apologize for getting so carried- but his drawings look amazing.

...and then he realized it was permanent marker and immediately doubled his apologizes.

PAVITR PRABHAKAR headcanons:

▸ im going to put this here and i dont know why specifically this came to mind. but never play just dance with him. you will LOSE. one of thse people who don't have to try to win. but he WILL put his 100% in it and eat you UPPPP.

sorry u can't outdo him </3

like bro those moves AREN'T EVEN PART OF THIS DANCE HOW ARE YOU STILL WINNING???

▸ gym bro but not Insane Gym Bro just.... gym bro. will try to get you to workout with him,, but like. cool if you don't wanna! is the most supportive gym buddy to have though. will always encourage you throughout the entire thing and not even just to get you to push through a set- this boy genuinely jus believes in you so much.

▸ he's constantly talking to you about gayatri. he loves his gf sm. if ur one of those people who Don't Like hearing abt other ppls relationships he'll make an attempt to tone it down

but trust he NEVER. EVER. makes you third wheel them. gayatri also will make sure of this- so now... more than often... if you're tryin' to hang with the both of them- THEY BOTH TRY TO PLAY MATCHMAKER FOR YOU.

LIKE. you can't just be LONELY. they're gonna make sure of it. pav and gaytri number one wingmen,..,, women,,, besties

▸ probably texts u like crazy. the type of guy to send u things throughout the day like "this is so you :]" he loves his bestie (YOU!!!)

sometimes it's like,, a particularly interestingly shaped cloud. maybe a cool bug that landed nearby him. a flower growing out of the pavement cracks.

and then sometimes it's like. this.

"this is you."

[yeahiamjustalittleguy]

(ahck, alright! oofies- I shall attempt to recall it) up to you which character of the three you wanna writee- with whoever you choose flirting with and tryna fluster reader, maybe with a confession? owjejroakd I love confession fluff <3 lol please n fank youu cc:

Description: Etho drops by to let you know that your farm sucks, but it's okay cause he loves you very much.

Warnings: None. :)

____________________________________________

You grab gently onto the wool of the pink sheep, and it stands reluctantly still, ready for its first shave ever. A lot of the sheep that you have been shaving are recently fully grown, and it's been hard work convincing them that you're not going to hurt them, but they’ve taken well to it regardless. Usually, with how many sheep you have, it takes you a day at least to get all of their colorful wool shaved off and then after that you have to make some of it into carpet to sell, which also takes a long time. But it wasn’t hard work, and honestly you did like animals a lot. Caring for your livestock was one of your favorite parts of your life. How cute the chickens looked when you fed them, and how grateful the sheep finally became when they realized you were taking away their most cumbersome wool to let them walk around without carrying all of it on them, it made your day every single time. And your shop had been doing very well, despite it mostly being just wool and decorative items. But yeah, sometimes you wish there was an easier way to do it. Your base wasn’t even going to be finished at all at this point.

Finishing up on the pink sheep, you make your way over to the green sheep. Just as you’re beginning to shave it carefully, there’s a whooshing sound followed by the sound of the grass crunching beneath someone's weight. You stop and step away from the sheep, not wanting to hurt it by not giving it the full attention it deserves, and you look around for your new guest. Behind you, just outside of the sheeps enclosure, stands Etho looking at you. He doesn’t say anything but just nods as you wave at him. Standing up completely, you put down the shears and head out of the enclosure to greet him fully. Running up with a light jog, you carefully close the gate making sure none of the sheep have tried to follow you out. 

“Hey, Etho!” You say, enthusiastically. He greets you very casually, but a bit distracted. It seems you’ve somehow miffed him, and you realize very quickly it has to do with your farm considering the way he is staring at it. Knowing Etho pretty well, you can theorize pretty easily that it has to do with the efficiency of your farm, as that’s one of his big peeves. You cross your arms, and roll your eyes with a big smile on your face, ready to humor him just a tiny bit. “What’s wrong with my farm, then?” You ask, eager to let him go off about one of his many interests, not minding the small rants he went on. You were just surprised he’d never complained about it before, to be honest. “You know you can just automate all that, right? Like, shaving.” He clarified, and you couldn’t help but let the surprise seep into your face. You probably looked like a giant question mark. “Y-you can?” You asked, knowing already that he wasn’t trying to pull a prank on you but you really didn’t know what else to say. You must have seemed so stupid to every single person who’d passed through your farm. 

He let out a huge sigh, closing his eyes and shaking his head, like he was disappointed in you. “N-no one told me!” You stuttered, trying to defend yourself as a light blush of embarrassment crept onto your face. Putting a hand sassily on his side, he let a hand slide down his face to show you how stupid he really thought you were. “Well, I guess you don’t have to be smart when you’re this cute.” He said, and your mouth fell open in surprise. Registering what he really said you covered your face, trying not to show him how intensely you were blushing. You didn’t even know what to say in response to that. “I’m sorry..” You whispered through your hands, taking a moment to compose yourself before removing your hands and looking back up at him.

You don’t know if he moved while you were busy mentally imploding, but it seemed like he was standing right in front of you now, less than a foot between you. He reached out a hand, slightly bowing to be on your level. He was looking at you so intensely, you didn’t even know what to do. You were like a deer in headlights, not being able to move as a million thoughts were going through your head. Inching his face closer, you could almost feel his breath on your face. Was he going to kiss you? Then, using the hand he had reached out, he brushed a piece of hair out of your face, before straightening out and walking past you all within a second, leaving you a confused and blushing mess. You turned around, watching him walking towards your farm. “W-what? Where are you going?” You asked, jogging to keep up with him. 

He then laughed, shaking his head but not saying anything to let you in on what he was saying, but yet again you could tell he was carrying a huge grin on his face. “Let’s fix up your farm.” You huffed, crossing your arms as you walked next to him. He really got such a kick out of flustering you, didn’t he? How annoying. “You’re so mean to me sometimes.” You said, opening the gate to your farm, and letting you both through so that you could start the new automatic farm. He laughed quietly, choking on it at the end, barely able to contain his excitement. He grabbed your hand as you walked, and you let him. “It’s only because I like you so much.” He then explained, letting his soft side shine through. You blushed at his long awaited confession (As much as there ever would be from him anyways) and dragged yourself closer, walking shoulder to shoulder with him. “I know.” You responded, a small content smile on your lips. 

[the-cat-chat]

July 20, 2024

Cast Away (2000)

A FedEx executive undergoes a physical and emotional transformation after crash landing on a deserted island.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: There are so many things about this movie that I love. The first part of the movie shows how much Tom Hanks' character is on the go go go. He's all about efficiency and productivity. Everything is on a schedule, even his personal life. At the same time, he's also a bit of a romantic.

It takes a while to build up to the big crash, but it's great for character building and raising the anticipation. The plane crash scene has pretty good special effects, even by today's standards.

I'm a big fan of survival movies, so I do love watching Tom Hanks' character make mistakes, learn, face setbacks, overcome obstacles. Having Wilson as a way for his character to bond with another "person" is so smart. Although it is strange to be sad about a man's relationship with a volleyball, it's done so well. You really feel like Wilson is the only thing keeping his character sane.

Usually with movies like this, it ends when they get "rescued." I like that they show some of his character's adjustment back into society. (the seafood dinner with food carelessly leftover, the lighter, the too soft mattress, him guzzling water from a bottle).

I only have a few gripes about this movie. One, why are there zero animals or bugs on the island? Yes, there are fish. But nothing else at all? Even a small scene of him killing a bug or chasing off an animal would be cool.

And second, I do think his girlfriend moves on a bit too fast, especially without the closure of his recovered body. If you do some of the math, she basically "grieves" for like 6 months or so, and some of those months were spent still trying to find him. I agree that they shouldn't get back together in the end, but I my brain couldn't help but do the math at the same time.

But I do feel like the ending fits. Now, Tom Hanks' character isn't on a schedule, he doesn't have a plan, which is so different from how he treated life in the beginning of the movie. And I like how the angel artist lady is included throughout the movie before finally appearing at the end, as if it was "meant to be."

P.S. RIP Wilson

P.P.S. I couldn't help but notice as he drives in the final scenes of the movie, he has a brand new Wilson. What on earth is he planning to do? Create a new Wilson with a face and talk to it and carry it around in society? Use it for volleyball? Doesn't that seem disrespectful? idk

Rating: 7.5/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: As this is my second time writing this review bc obviously the universe hates me and disagrees with my opinion on this ammmazing movie, this will be scathing. I hated it I don’t even wanna be nice anymore. I thought it was funny how Tom Hanks was obsessed with time and then forced to be on an island where time really is an illusion. I like the start when he’s still running fedex (totally thought he was ups but whatever) and the plane crash was really well done for the time and then when he’s on the island I start getting peeved. Has this mannnnn ever seen Naked and Afraid. Where’s the fire- it took him so long. He should’ve been a Boy Scout. Uggg. And the knocking his own tooth out. I’m triggered. And loosing Wilson. Lame. He so could got him. This is like Jack and Rose all over again.

And now my reallllll problem. I will not ever be able to watch Helen Hunt again. Okkk. So this guy that gives you a ring the last time you saw him on Christmas right as he’s boarding a plane that will crash- is stuck on an island for 4 years. Ok - Her kid is 2 years old - it takes 9 months to make a baby- ok so we’re already back in time where there’s 1 year and 2 months when she could’ve been hung up over him- soooo in the year following his disappearance- say she waited a month or two for them to find him- okkk we’re at a year grieved another 2 months- quick but okkkkkk met his Root Canal Dentist- which wowwwww- had a wonderful romance so in like 8/10 months after he was missing- I’m sooo sorry she got over him being missing grieved and dated and married this guy would is literally her fiancé nemesis and had a kid wayyyyy to quick. I mean I do t think I ever did anything so quick in my life everrrr. And I still can’t look at Chris Noth. I’m done. For my sanity I have to be. None of the math makes sense to read but you get it. After 2 months??? I think I’ve been dedicated to listening to a song on repeat longer than that.

I am glad he had his little friend to come back to- and I did like the whole angel wings artist lady plot but that veers to unhealthy kinnnnnda???

Rating: I can’t- it had 4/10- but for my mental health now it’s a 2/10 Crabs 🦀

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #198

Today was my first real day in the bakery at my grocery store. It was a lot of slicing and bagging bread and rolls, arranging unbaked cookies on giant cookie sheets, putting muffins and brownies into containers, and putting labels on things!!

Or, in other words: lots of simple, repetitive tasks that give my autistic brain lots of nice dopamine!! It was pretty fucking great!!!

And I made lots of mistakes along the way. I struggled mightily with the gloves due to the dyspraxia; what little manual dexterity I had was gone, and almost all the tasks required gloves, hahaha… Oh, and then I accidentally prepared one extra pan of chocolate chip cookies. And I got so laser-focused on what I was doing that I failed to notice customers coming up to the counter on multiple occasions.

…And nothing bad happened to me as a result. I didn't get screamed at. I didn't get fired on the spot. In fact, I was told that I am doing a great job, especially for someone who is still learning. I made so many mistakes, and I was still told that I am doing it efficiently and well.

And… I am more than a little upset about that. Not because there is anything wrong with it, but because I have so many memories of being told by my mother that I'm lucky she's my mother and not my boss, because if she was my boss, she'd replace me with someone better, and in the "really real world" (or in other words, working retail, which is what I'm doing now), that's exactly what will happen, and… I'm finding that the notion that I will be tossed like yesterday's trash if I am not perfect all the time is at least not universally true. Maybe it's true in other places, but it isn't true here, and if it's true elsewhere, then I don't have to stay there, and…

I guess I kinda just feel lied to. M and J pointed out that my mother may have genuinely believed what she said to me so often back then, anytime I wasn't perfect. That's probably true. But it's still the case that she parroted a lie that she believed, and… I guess I wanna go back in time and find the person who told it and ask them what happened to them to make them think like that.

Well. M and J and I went to go see R (the fabulous baker!) after that! We had a lovely picnic near a river, and he brought sandwich supplies and lots of yummy things, and we brought chips and pretzels and… it was very good. Lots of lively and delightful conversation was had.

A friend of mine came to me for help on various things today, too, and that was good. It always feels nice when I can do random small things to try to make a difference. I was helping for a long time, and my brain is kinda soupy at the moment because it's late, but that's all right; I'm having fun.

Maybe I'll get something with good protein tomorrow. I spent 4 hours on my feet, and it has been a long time since last I've done that with any kind of regularity, and so my legs and feet are kinda ouchy right now. Pretty soon, I'm going to have to do this regularly, and I am a little daunted; hopefully my body can adjust quickly.

On the bright side, I'm finding that the simple movements of my arms to put the things where they need to be put seems to be good for my rib??? I'm in a lot less pain following the work today, it seems. I was pretty shocked by that. But then again, we'll have to see how I feel tomorrow...

Ohhh, goodness, Sephiroth, it's late. It's late, and I'm tired. It's like 1:30 in the morning. So I'm gonna stop writing now.

Hey. I love you. And lots of other people do, too, okay? Don't forget it. Don't lose sight of it. You don't have to be perfect to be lovable and worthy. You don't have to be perfect in order to avoid being thrown away or replaced.

You can't be replaced. So stay safe out there. Please come back to us. We miss you.

Your friend, Lumine

[palavapeite]

20 questions for fic writers

I got tagged by @nocompromise-noregrets to answer questions about my fic, yay! Thank you, friend!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

49

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

610,514

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now just OFMD.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Heart Asks Pleasure First (Captain America (Movies)), 886 Kudos

Leggy Blonde, you got it goin' on (Our Flag Means Death (TV)), 640 Kudos

If my Heart was a House (Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling), 612 Kudos

Uphill Both Ways in 5 Feet of Snow (Captain America (Movies)), 510 Kudos

Morning, Moon and Knight (Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling), 401 Kudos

…To be clear, this doesn’t really say anything useful. The CA fics have been accumulating kudos for almost 10 years and the HP fics for just about as long (and they were originally published to LJ and only moved to AO3 later), while Leggy Blonde has been up for less than 2 years. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ make of that what you will.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, always. It may take me a bit, but look, if someone takes time to comment on my work I feel compelled to at least say thank you. The joy is in the moment of interaction, not in the hoarding of praise.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably The Fall of the House of Black. If you read the epilogue, that is.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most if not all of my fics end happily and there’s a bunch that are mostly fun and fluff. But only Heartwood ends with a wedding. 😛

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No. I got one (1) terfy comment and one that was a bit douchey once, but I don’t think I have the reach to attract actual hate. Or I’ve gotten lucky so far, idk.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

For a long time I didn’t because I didn’t enjoy writing it. I’ve come to be a little more open to experimenting with it in recent years, occasionally challenged myself to lean into it a bit more, and I guess it feels like less of a bother now even if it’s still not my forte. So some of my stuff is either more softcore, or just completely smut-free.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No. I only enjoy crossover scenarios when they happen spontaneously when chatting with friends in an unhinged “yes, and” arms race towards the most ludicrous possible outcome. I have no interest in crossover fanfic, neither reading nor writing it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. But back in the 2000s I translated my first couple of fanfics that I wrote in a German speaking forum into English when I moved to a different space within the same fandom.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

@greaseonmymouth and I collaborated on a fanwork for a now extinct fandom in… 2009 or so? It was a true marvel, a thing of beauty, a magnificent stroke of genius. It is no longer associated with either of our names. But part of me still thinks I peaked there.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Johnsquared. Quite possibly.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Unghhh the epic Cjizzy metal band AU. The epic eat pray love Johnsquared. I want to finish them so badly. I really do. But maybe I love them both too hard.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’m really good and efficient at setups, outlines, and occasionally very funny with dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing sincere endings that I don’t hate.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Idk man. Look. It depends. What are you trying to do here? Does a character canonically codeswitch? Fair. But do you speak the language in question or is it just gonna be basic tourist speak? Do you just wanna flex that you know languages that your readers might have to look up? Are you smug that you used google translate? Are you using other languages consistently throughout the fic in all instances, or are you just marking out one character as the non-native speaker? For a bit of ~local/ethnic flavour?

What I’m saying is “it’s complicated.”

Also. Eh. Idk. I wouldn’t do it in my own fic. I have seen some godawful incorrect German in fanfic that clearly came from google translate and that no native speaker would ever utter and I always wonder what the purpose of that is supposed to be. At times it’s jarring my incompatible within a limited narrator’s perspective. Obviously everyone can do whatever the hell they want in their own fic. I just don’t get the why of it most of the time I see it and I wonder if the writer ever bothered to ask themselves “why am I doing this?”

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Officially, on the internet? [redacted]

Before I knew fanfic on the internet was a thing? Star Wars

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Oh man, I can’t choose. Funnily, none of my top 5 kudosed fics would make the shortlist. But 5 that I’m very very fond of and that I really enjoyed the writing process of are:

Won from the void and formless infinite (Taboo, Godfrey/Cholmondeley M/F) 40 Kudos

The doubts that have surrounded me (OFMD, cjizzy F/F) 65 Kudos

Only by the Grace of the Sea (OFMD, Ed/Stede M/M) 270 Kudos

You, who stole my solitude (WWDITS, Vianton M/M) 155 Kudos

Something Brewing in the Discourses (JSAMN, Gatcombe/Tantony M/M) 10 Kudos

(Adding a kudos count to re-emphasise the point that they are a terrible metric for judging or comparing anything.)

I’m tagging… uhhh @greaseonmymouth @pudentilla @thebeautifulsoup and @emmyllou if you should happen to be in the mood.

[siancore]

Hello! Just wanna ask for writing advice on Sam Wilson hehe I read your fanfics and I really love them and I was wondering how you approach on introducing Sam as the main third POV? How do I efficiently describe his features? Any pointers? Also good Sambucky fanfics that can help me (cuz am debating on writing a sambucky fic in Sam's third POV)? Hope this doesn't bother you hehe.... - 💙

Hey. Not bothering me at all!

Thanks for the support and readership, and for trusting me with Sam. How to write Sam Wilson? Well, it starts with a lot of love. I really mean that. Describing Sam can be like writing poetry. There is just so many different ways to describe him. You have to study his gestures and mannerisms. Anyone can write their version of any character, but characterisation is important. It sells the story. Third Person POV is about that character. Get the characterisation right and the reader goes, "Ah. Yes. That is so Sam."

And to do that you have to take time to know him. What are his traits? What does he care about? Pick one thing about him and run with it. That’s how you do it well. That’s how you will be able to place him at any age, in any timeline, in any universe. What makes Sam who he is?

For example: Sam has expressive eyes. He speaks a lot, most of the time, but he rarely gives anything away about himself. His emotions are expressed on his face. That's why a lot of writers don't do him justice: They don't LOOK at Sam close enough. He is caring, and you can see it in his eyes. When he is happy, he smiles really brightly. He has a great smile. Lights his whole face up. Makes everyone around him want to smile.

Another example: Sam is efficient, but also a thrill-seeker. It’s in the subtext of the source material. It’s in the way he works and operates. It’s inherent to his character. He has no qualms about going out and getting into situations where he is punching above his weight a lot of the time.

Choose one part of his characterisation and explore it. Be consistent with his mannerism. Sam folds his arms over his chest when he gets serious. Sam says what’s on his mind, no matter who he is speaking with – it’s not that he has no filter, but that he is a straight talker. Sam is handy in a fight situation, but he can also deescalate with his words.

Oh, also vernacular and intonation in his speech. Sam has a deep voice. Sam is from Louisiana. Sam uses AAVE. Sam uses contractions when he speaks, and it should be reflected in the dialogue. He is very clever, and it shows in his quips and sarcasm.

I know I’m telling you stuff you already know and love about Sam. It’s the same stuff everyone knows and loves about him. That’s what you lean into when writing Third Person POV. It’s what makes him recognisable.

As for SamBucky fics, anything by @jemgirl86 and @capnwinghead to get a good feel on writing Sam-centic fics with awesome dialogue and fleshed out characterisations.

My WIP War Stories is my most canon-compliant SamBucky fic. Check it out if you have time.

Thanks again. I hope this helps. Happy writing!

[vanshookie]

JJK Men and their 🍃 dealer

Characters: Gojo, Getou, Nanami, Shoko, Toji, Choso, Sukuna and Naoya

Word Count: 1910 words

Content/Warnings: smoking mary jane, suggestive, mostly joke 

a/n: vaped too much so I thought I would write some cheeky 420 head cannons

Gojo Satoru 

Used to buy your weed, but now is just your friend who mooches 

He brings snacks and movies tho!! 

He really likes candy normally but gets overstimulated when high so he only really brings the candy for you

but then it works as back up candy when he’s more sober.

Definitely talks too much 

To the point where his voice becomes low and gravelly  

So you give him a pass for being annoying, cause at least he sounds hot when doing it 

Definitely is the plug for his friends for a long time, partly cause he’s a troll so he hikes up the price (stonks) and he doesn’t want them to meet you.

He can’t handle not being your favourite 

Eventually Getou out smarts him tho cause he doesn’t trust Gojo’s measurements 

Gojo started visiting more cause of this 

No being too friendly to his cute plug 

The day his students grow up and eventually buy from you is the day he squares up

it quickly becomes high movie marathons with everyone tho

You're just happy cause you barely need to pay rent now, you have a dedicated consumer base right there

He would be horny high if he actually kept any braincells when smoking 

He tried many times to make a move on you

but every time you start brushing his hair with your fingers, he melts and is paralysed 

Jumping to anime timeline 

He visits less cause his paranoia really shoots up here 

So he feels he can’t let his guard down 

And he doesn’t wanna drag you into anything if he were to be followed

But if you come to his place

or even better you were also a sorcerer

He would feel less on edge 

Your safety is his priority 

Now that he’s older, this is where he can actually use his horny high 

He just feels so lonely that he needs the touch, and it helps more than his normal womaniser ways, cause he feels the connection with you

Thus he is also very romantic and soft 

He will act no further than this unless you work to build the relationship 

The power is in your high ass hands 

Getou Suguru

150% stoner 

always was, always will be

so he is your top client 

Gojo might always try to be around but he’s always not buying, Getou however always does and pays in full, sometimes more 

Not to say he’s efficient about it, he’s also over all the time too now

So its just you trapped between the two watching movies 

They try to act like they wanna watch horror, but they prefer romcoms tbh 

His tolerance is so high so he has much respect for you supplying everyone and feels the need to pay it forward 

Weirdly it still doesn’t feel transactional tho, he would make ways to create a day out or even be really domestic like getting groceries and making dinner

He is defo high the whole time tho, for him its like cigarettes to shoko 

But not that you notice, no one really could tell the difference between high or sober Getou 

Every time you think maybe you’ve just always been dating? When did you stumble into a 4 year relationship?

Until he sends in that money and leaves with a tap to your butt/hip/thigh

Its hard not to be heart broken 

He however knows what he’s doing 

Not that he likes it 

at all

He smokes to help with his depression, it quells his thoughts

So he keeps a weird boundary as he feels you deserve much better

he really cares about you

Still smokes after betrayal 

He also cuts down visits cause this tho

but buys a shit tonne when he is there 

And when he’s there he just feels like a husband 

Treats you very well 

If you aren’t a sorcerer, then you’d be the only one he respects, no calling the plug a monkey 

His assistant supplies the money the day before, so you always know when he’s coming 

Spoiler!! Even kenjaku is still stuck getting weed, the body he has chosen it cannot function without it 

You don’t get to see him anymore though, it was replaced by the patch face guy but quickly the girls he used to raise would be around a lot but sometimes disappear to deliver to imposter getou

The hasaba twins honestly get adopted by you 

Kenjaku could not give less of a shit 

But Getou is so grateful they are with you, even from beyond

Nanami Kento

super rare 

He only really smoke for chronic pain 

You just know mans has hurt his back and neck in his lifetime 

definitely sued for workplace injury 

So you help with his unofficial pain management treatment 

He always bring a pastry with him :))

Another barely noticeable smoker

You can only really catch him if you do something sweet for him 

Like make him cute edibles! 

He’s so touched that he will let out a laugh 

It melts your heart

absolutely would not let the students smoke until being of age

Doesn’t try to scare them from weed

Mans thinks cannabis propaganda is the worst 

But still wants them to wait till there minds are more developed 

Is the best tactic cause they agree and also don’t wanna let him down :,)

Never around when Gojo is there

Gojo must never know Nanami smokes 

Low-key Gojo is the reason why he is so passionate about the students 

Saw Gojo become the dumbass that he is from smoking with Getou in senior high :///

But also highly thinks Gojo was always destined for being childish 

Will eventually start bring you a cute plant or flowers cause he likes how excited you get 

Shoko Ieiri

I reckon her cigarettes are defo mixed, she is not just smoking tobacco all the time sheesh 

Lowkey she actually helps you grow

So her pay for helping sm is legit just some of the green 

Best business partner 

Really is attached to you 

She will reverse curse technique you all the time 

She doesn’t want you getting hurt!!

Will always check on your lungs cause of that too

definitely kicks out Gojo 

Everything she says is low-key flirting 

She can’t help it 

Sometimes will bring Utahime and have a girls night! 

Helps Utahime destress a bunch 

Toji Fushiguro

THIS MAN

THIS THIS THIS 

THIS TIKTOK!!!

absolutely your dilf client 

Is incredibly sweet in that older gentlemen kind of way

Will call you only nicknames, you start to think he doesn’t know your name until he tell you off for not getting enough sleep and calls you by your full name (dad mode sheesh)

Will gush about his kids 

Even when he’s left them 

It’s really the only place he lets himself talk about them

It doesn’t help ur dilf radar

He will absolutely help you with house stuff as a tip

Car needs oil? Plumbing need fixing? You wanna set up a on-wall spice rack?

He got you! And will take off his jacket that exposes his way too tight shirt!!

Suddenly you have a lot of house maintenance 

It makes it incredibly cute tho! Dream house done

Lowkey hopes that you will see his kid in the future 

He knows that he’s definitely lost a bunch of his life span after losing his wife 

also lowkey knows it won’t be natural death

A reason why he’s very distant from you tho

He cares from afar

You don’t charge him as much 

But he somehow pays over, saying something like he’s got enough and doesn’t need it 

definitely only ever comes on his motorcycle, mans defo does not use his car if he even has one 

Means that he sees ur car as his tho 

He’s fixed it up sm might as well be

Left his jacket behind often

When he stops coming around of nowhere, you don’t clean out his cigarettes butts as well as always replace the cologne he left once and keep the jacket wrapped around the driver seat 

You also always keep the zippo lighter he left

Its death penalty if any tries to take it 

After a while you get what has happened, probably the only person left who cares and mourns 

Choso

he gives always high but actually pretty sober

Doesn’t smoke rly 

But does like edible teas

Keeps him mellow 

Perhaps starts smoking after his brother’s pass tho

He mourns extremely deeply 

It helps him not have panic attacks about it 

He often talked to you about them 

Wishes you could have met them 

When he adopts Yuji, he always brings him

Lectures him about it tho

Lets Yuji bring a console 

So its often all three of you versing in Mario kart 

Doesn’t let Yuji make fun of your character choice

Absolutely roasts and destroys Yuji for his character choice tho 

Is a king boo main 

definitely lays on you when playing games 

Tends to rub your legs then too 

Is very oblivious to flirting 

Thinks you are just super kind 

Would marry u on the spot tho

especially when you make a hella good tea that helps him sleep so quick

Heals his insomniac heart 

Ryomen Sukuna 

never sober 

NEVER

Will not be caught lacking like that 

The world would not exist if he was sober, the destruction he would bring

Loves just always chilling with his pipe 

In the golden age 

He was kinda respectful ig 

He hated the process of finding a new dealer so kept you around and treated you equally 

Didn’t know he did that 

He was just a sorcerer, people dubbed him king of curses before being a curse

You didn’t see much point in fearing him 

It helped him decide you as a dealer

He did not like anything complicated and legit just wants a stable supply

so Its not his fault (yes it absolutely is) when he developed deeper feelings shush 

You unbothered 

Sukuna very bothered 

Would question why you are different from all he other people he sees as below him

and that did infuriate him when the answer was not good enough

So mass havoc before hoes 

Starts sending Uraume in his stead

Sometimes it would still be him 

And you would not be able to spot a single difference, he seems the same as before

He is never generous, but never stingy 

another thing he respects is

you aren’t unaware of the drama about him

but you also never react differently 

Not surprised at all when 2 arms become 4 and one face becomes two

That only makes his stupid heart beat more sometimes 

you aren’t running from the hills? not that he’s self conscious, he knows he’s hot

he’s just ahead of his time

people only run screaming from jealously, not cause of his murderer tendencies

When he is exorcised, the village also hunts you down 

See’s you as complacent so you are killed off 

Thus, reincarnation in the current era 

He recognises you instantly 

But he has yet to see some reincarnate perfectly like that so he’s quietly side eyeing

Can’t help to question if it was fate 

Only human he’s nice to 

Will try and do subtle things to test if you remember, or even just see if personality lines up

Cause it definitely feels exactly like your soul

Weirds him out

everyone else is weirded out for entirely different reasons

you weren’t apart of his localised story so

no clue why you are oh sis special to silence the Ryomen Sukuna  

Makes Yuji suss of you until he makes you his bestie for making the nasty shut up

Your backstory is absolutely untraceable to anyone 

So who knows if the villagers even were successfully in killing you, or maybe your curse technique allows you to bend time or maybe there’s absolutely nothing going on up there in that noggin of yours

Either way he’s intrigued

Naoya Zenin

the worst

Just don’t 

Interaction with him is terrible = if he does smoke, let his maids deal with that for him

Not worth it 

[tuliptyper]

HI SORRY FOR THE VAGUE REQUESTS BUT I WANNA HEAR ANY THOUGHTS U HAVE ON DOOMHEAD OR FOXY i enjoy them so badly 🙏 no pressure ofc pls take ur time mwah

YES OFC!! ANYTIME FOR U MOOT 🙏🧎

im sorry i only did doomhead bc i had more ideas for him and it looked weird to have like paragraphs abt DH and 4 sentences about foxy 😭😭 ill write a separate post about him if you want nws!!

rlly messy post, a mix of thoughts + headcanons with a LOT of projection (potentially ooc) proofread but still shitty

LONG POST!

TW for suggestive themes and angst i mean...this is doomhead we're talking about

- my backstory headcanons differ slightly from yours (please check out imeldas DH headcanons theyre great!);

- i think he came from a well-off family but was definitely abused and neglected. growing up in the time and place that he did, he had no support and was forced to take his future into his own hands. he probably ran away or estranged himself from his family as early as possible (possibly stealing a few stacks to keep him afloat)

- pre 31 he was most likely a petty criminal who got mixed up in some violence, possibly word got around and he was picked up by Father Murder (i imagine it the same way models are recruited on the street and thats funny)

- i agree that hes been in 31 since its conception, hes definitely the top dog, the most reliable and efficient Head out there. I'd like to think Father taught him a thing or two about hunting numbers down (and how to clean his messier kills) so younger/less experienced Heads definitely aim to be at least acknowledged by him

- i think doomie does many odd jobs just to pass time between 31 ; security at seedy bars, occasional plumbing/installation jobs etc. not only does it help with his small-time acting (being able to play and adapt to many roles) but it also allows him to slip into the background of the community. hes not too important but not too insignificant either

- i think the face paint and theatrics was his idea. i believe Father (and co) are just hardcore snuff/sadists and just wanted to see their victims in fear, but DH really took it upon himself to add character (and subsequently more fear) to his job! slay

- being involved with 31 and all, i think he has a few connections with organized criminals, especially considering he has to obtain fake IDs and alibis. hes grown quite friendly with a few respected mobsters and its rewarded him handsomely

- with all this said! i don't think hes some perfectly suave, totally composed Casanova, i believe hes really scared of feeling vulnerable and that makes it hard for him to form any relationships that arent superficial, simply because he doesnt know how to cope well with feeling exposed and emotional around others.

- i diagnose him with (gay) BPD and i think hes very insecure abt that fact. he was probably taught that his emotions were bad so he puts extensive effort into seeming composed and put together around people. one good thing about 31 is that its a space where his bizarre outbursts or even mania is not only accepted but embraced/rewarded so hes got that going for him i guess??

- i think, deep down, he'd really love a somewhat domestic relationship; having somebody at home to eat with, a partner he can rely on, to be cared for and care for someone else. hes a sap at heart, hes just very scared of showing it

- probably wouldn't want kids, even in an accidental knock-up, he'd slip his baby mama plenty of scratch and encourage her to find a man thatll support them. he can always be the distant but fatherly family friend but thats really it (UNLESS you're his s/o then thats a completely different story-)

- probably neurodivergent in some way, simply because i see him as incredibly observant, analytical and calculated when hes focused/interested, traits i typically see in other ND people lol

- my doomhead is definitely queer, he doesnt use labels but i see him spending time at drag shows (in the corner silently handing the queen a stack of cash LOL) at underground gay bars (and had a few fellas for company ykk😏) hes more than aware of the struggles of having no family to support you and needing to make ends meet no matter what (since hes been there himself) so he has respect for such folks

- hes SO committal, especially because he doesn't have many healthy long term relationships. hookups dont mean much to him and really just give him dopamine boosts during the lull of a lonely life (#bars). if you're his s/o, you're his life partner, he would kill and die for you 100%. even if you guys split he would probably just give up on relationships then and there (as sad as that sounds lmao)

- ik the movie is set in the 70s but in a modern setting, i think he'd listen to some quirky, creepy music. probably genres like glam rock and dark cabaret (think scissor sisters and the dresden dolls)

- on that topic!! some songs that remind me of him include

[pinkpuffballdude]

gathering together headcanons (canons????) I've got for the Immortal Pen Pals AU, just for fun you see (check out @belovedranboo for more Eternal Duo focused content)

Phil was originally mortal, but fell in love with Death (Kristin, here called Trixten or Mumza for Character Reasons) who made it so he'd never die of old age

I'm explaining that as she couldn't bear to take his soul but I'm still working on that bit

so Phil lives for a long time only talking to his wife when surrounded by death, ending up almost as a Thanos kinda character? but instead of mass murder he just inserts himself into alread existing conflicts so he gets the chance to say hi to her

keeping in mind he's still just Some Dude at this point

Phil and Techno met for the first time when Techno was a baby piglin, in a Tournament Style Game involving geopolitical shenanigans on a recreation of the world (yes it's smp earth I just love them breaking the game together okay)

Techno approached Phil like "hey you're good at this and we've met before and got along, wanna help me take over the map" and Phil, fuckin gremlin that he is, was like "sounds great" And Then They Did It

this was a Super long time ago, and Techno probably died not long after

Phil was sad when his piglin friend died, I'm not sure he'd bother making many friends by this point? just because he's lived so long and they die so often, but I don't think he'd avoid making friends either. just wouldn't go out of his way

so Techno is dead and Phil is sad and goes wandering into the middle of nowhere to complete his latest building project, and while messing about in the nether finds. a piglin. that just Won't leave him alone

and he's like okay, you remind me of my friend, I'll take you home kiddo, make sure you don't die of starvation or anything

does that make Techno an orphan? Don't Ask Questions

eventually this kid grows up and is like. driven to be good at things like fighting and winning and efficiency and speaks really similarly to his old friend so Phil starts calling him Techno

he may also choose his name to be Techno? unclear at this point

but then. later. when Techno 2 is an adult. he offhandedly mentions "hey Phil remember when we took over that tournament"

Techno 2 did not do that. Techno 2 had not been born.

Foolish is, at this point, still a god and knows Trixten, and by extension knows Philza. additionally, he too has a friend that keeps coming back and being reborn over and over and remembering him.

so at this point Philza is like "haha yea hey I got to go uh do something" and books it over to [MAGIC COMMUNICATION DEVICE] and texts Foolish like "hey so hypothetically how did you deal with your friend being reborn" and they start talking about it

Phil talks with Techno more about things they did together in previous lives, but it quickly becomes clear that. Techno's memory is just shit. and he doesn't realize that was another life. he thinks they did it together in this one.

keeping in mind that Techno probably has a longer lifespan than most other players, since he's So parinoid about getting jumped and also is a piglin, so it's not totally impossible to him that they did all this stuff together in his shorter lifespan? But Also. This Was Many Years Ago Techno.

next time Techno dies Philza buries him, and immediately starts looking in the nether for his old friend

he finds him, mostly raises him, and they hang out and cause chaos together

it becomes a routine; finding a piglin that seems overly attached, take him in, commit crimes together, reminice about things that happened hundreds of years ago, bury him, repeat

Phil talks with Foolish a lot in those between times, to keep himself sane, writing back and forth about their reckless mortals, what they hope they remember, what they probably won't, how they died this time. just keeping each other grounded

I think.... gods have big emotions. and Philza isn't a god, technically, but he's hung around them long enough for it to rub off on him. Foolish spent a long time being a totem of Death, a god of the sky and sea, of being full of anger and destructive joy and death. it's easy for them to be consumed

so they just... keep tabs on each other. make sure they're doing okay, coping well, not letting it get to them too much. surviving.

which brings us to the Modern Day (I'll make a different post about that)

I hope you enjoy/ed! I'm having fun coming up with this stuff

[rrasado]

Are you comfortable with uh- doing the obey me demon bros reacting to an MC who has DID having the bros as an introject alter? You dont have to if ur not comfy tho ofc

Which You Are You

I’m telling you all now I am no way experienced in writing about themes like this, nor do I experience this myself/know someone who does, I'm only relying on what I have from research so if you happen to find any offenses, mistakes and or misconceptions please don’t be afraid to tell me so I can fix it! Thank you dears. 💙🌒💙

Mentions of: Mental Illness

When you have Dissociative Identity Disorder: (under the cut)

Lucifer

Whether it was listed in your document in preparation for the exchange program or not. The first born will also be the first one to actually catch on to your condition.

But the How part is a bit...slow even for him. At first it might've started when he'd hear small talk from Mammon his brothers concerning the exchange student. Given your blank nature during first impressions he was not expecting to hear words of comparison between you and him.

Initially he was at least delighted, another responsible figure in the House of Lamentation instead of another person to look after? His wishes have been granted- that is...until he realizes he rarely sees these so called similarities between you two when he himself is with you.

After nitpicking whether he's being pranked by his brothers or you. He'll come to decide that observing you himself will be the best course of action. And in his observations did he find out what's truly at play.

"You humans tend to succumb to all sorts of hindrances... we must tend to this efficiently"

He'll ultimately end up being your personal tracker in some sense, especially with you having alters akkined to his brothers, he's the best at dealing with every single you. He may not voice it as much but he's come to grow a soft spot for you, after all... you make him remember what it's like to deal with his brothers when they aren't busy talking behind his back. A bittersweet mutual benefit noh?

Mammon

If Lucifer wasn't the fastest to catch on, Mammon would've been the next contender. The guy spends the most time with you, so expect him to actually vocally point out the eerily different behaviors you display in different times. Especially when your certain Lucifer alter comes out to scold him.

Only when he ranted to the poor avatar of wrath did he consider that this little quirk of yours might actually be more than just, well...a quirk.

Tries making it a game on which alter is currently out, he's correct 50% of the time. But hey at least he's trying-

Will not hesitate to put any lower level demons at school back in their place for making fun of you.

"OI! Ya'll are just cowards hiding behind the damned walls! Well newsflash you bastards wall can talk!-"

Believe it or not, he'd be the first one to actually get used to your condition. And whe that fact comes to light god- he won't shut up about it. Who else would understand the human most? None other than the great mammon of course!

Leviathan

Levi...surprisingly thought of the possibility the fastest- but he's one of the last ones to actually let it sink in. He probably thought of the possibility because he saw it in an anime once, the main character used their multiple personalities with different powers and- wait he's ranting.

on a more serious note, the only reason he doesn't get the hang of you the fastest is because he kept comparing your alters with character he know, which would sound helpful but- he misses his shot when interacting with you a lot, easily slipping and thinking you're the character and not- you.

But once he does, it's as easy to him as completing a cunning minigame puzzle in a video game. As long as he executes the right keys he'll be fine, right?

Ah levi...that's only if you know which one you're talking to. But when he hears of one alter that oddly acts like him? He'll finally learn how to slowly deal with, himself..?

"Eh? This is like dealing with a mimikyu...hm? ah-"

Overall he's on the "finds your condition dope" side of the spectrum, but that doesn't mean he dismisses the struggles that come with it, he may not be the first person you'd go to when seeking help but when you do...he'll at least open his door for you.

Satan

In his case the only reason he wasn't the first to pin point what's really at play is because he doesn't spend as much time with you as the others. His only basis for making a conclusion are your short morning greetings and when you see each other at the RAD halls.

And since he only has little basis, the realization only strikes him when he hears talk from his brothers how you acted in class with them. Cue to the fourth getting confused because hey you just said good morning to him and you didn't act that way- wait a damn minute..

"I hope this doesn't come too sudden but, would you like to hang out more?"

His hypothesis gets confirmed the more he spends time with you, and unlike the first born, he smartly deals with you via logical reasoning, especially when your more childish alters come out? He'll squint to see any patterns he can concoct counters for in any given situation.

In short, the man is a living breathing clip board of your situation. The others know they can't ask lucifer for advice despite knowing he's the one who absentmindedly deals with you the best, so they turn to the avatar of wrath much to his dismay for insight on you.

Asmodeus

The Avatar of lust is the last to adjust to you, most likely because he doesn't really pay attention to your behavior and mannerisms unless it's posture and if it affects your overall projection.

Deals with it the... least effectively, no asmo you don't- give special clothes and makeovers per alter- though the sentiment is very much appreciated.

Asmo is asmo he'll deal with it in his own style, which again isn't the best way to deal with it but- He's trying, trust me he really is. It shows when he finally gets the tick to ask satan.

And as such expect slow subtle changes with how he treats you, he doesn't wanna make his favorite human uncomfortable! But I think he's the best at relaxing you after a draining experience with one of your more energetic alters.

"Dear you should sit down for a bit- Here let me take care of you"

Depending on where you manifested your disorder from, he'll try to take it slow and easy for you, besides, he knows that there's more to you to unpack, but he's determined to fully accommodate you! no matter which you.

Beelzebub

The way Beel finds out is so odd and yet so unsurprising...and how you may ask? Food.

I meant- with him associating 90 percent of everything with food, he might find out when he takes note of what and how much you eat. He'll have a variety of snacks at the ready, depending how or even if you approach him for some, he'd be initially confused, except for when your alter similar to him comes out. He doesn't question your enthusiasm.

The thing that puts the final nail in the coffin is actually when Belphie points it out to him. He was prepping well trying to not eat food for you when belphie asks him what he's making, he says your favorite food and belphie would grumble how you have so many favorites.

Beel initially dismisses it because hey he has so many favorites to but here he was. But the more he thinks about it the more it connects- which led him to seek none other than the avatar of wrath himself.

"Hey...what are you craving for right now?"

That question doubles as his test for figuring which you is out, depending how and what you answer, his choice of treating you narrows down. Suffice it to say despite being the weirdest method- he's the third one that deals with you the best.

Belphegor

H...he actually accepts it the fastest- despite not being the first to figure it out, he comes into terms with it in the shortest timespan compared to all his brothers.

And just like his twin, he finds out how to deal with you with the most uncanny test- your sleep schedule.

There may be times where you sleep like a log, other nights you stay up longer than the first born. No matter what he'll deal with you to best he can in the moment...assuming he's awake.

He only concerns himself even more when his pillow ended up with you, your alter similar to him opted for that black and white pillow which ultimately ended up with you two napping and sharing said pillow.

"Hng...you're..awake..? How did you sleep..?"

Yes, there may be times he wishes to talk back to mammon's claims of dealing with you the best. but as long as he can interact with whichever you without hitch, he's content.

As I’ve said at the top, please don’t be afraid to tell me any mistakes. I wish to provide without offending nor demeaning anyone. And I won’t mind taking this down if it’s called for, thank you again dears. 💙🌒💙

[atruththatyoudeny]

Happy 28th! I’ve read so many awesome fics this month! Make sure to check them all out. As always, all my love to all the authors in this fandom ♥

➻ don't want to fight you | starryharry | enemies to lovers - enemies to friends to lovers - pining - mutual pining - angst - fluff slow burn - no smut - 124k Louis hates that it’s familiar. He hates that sparring Harry is familiar because they train together. He hates that he even has to spar Harry at all, because Harry is good. Louis wonders what his life would be like if him and Harry didn’t hate each other. He can’t picture it, really. The incessant bickering that often turns into real arguing, the nasty looks, the eye rolls, the middle fingers. It all feels very necessary at this point. Or, the one where two fighters can also be lovers because routines are never permanent.

➻ we are ghosts amongst these hills | louisgaynkles | Soulmates - reincarnation - historical - slow burn - angst - fluff - 84k Harry spontaneously buys a house in Yorkshire because the universe, or fate, keeps leading him to it. What he didn’t know, is that his new house comes with a past that seems to be mysteriously tied to his own life. Before he knows it he finds himself travelling back in time, stuck in the middle of a century old love story. Featuring Louis as a farmer with a passion for gardening, Zayn as the heir to the local manor, Niall as a pub owner with a secret, and a truly underappreciated Liam. Based on Mariana by Susanna Kearsley

➻ through the wheatfields and the coastlines | thepolourryexpress | farms - cowboys - angst - implied/referenced homophobia - implied/referenced gun use - humor - smut - 53k “You’re not from around here, are ya?” Hot Cowboy asks, tracking his little lamb with his eyes. Louis frowns slightly, having thought he was doing pretty well at not sticking out like a sore thumb. It’s not like he’s not from around here — it’s not his first summer he’s spent at his grandparents'. But he supposes that the Manhattan city lifestyle that he’s used to is always going to shine through. “I’m visiting family for the summer,” Louis explains, cheeks a little pink. “Trying to get some work done without distractions.” Or, alternatively, the one where Louis needs inspiration, and a certain cowboy and his lamb are the perfect distraction.

➻ An Irrationally Strong Bond Between Two People | jishler | dystopia - friends to lovers - angst - first time - 18k Before The Advancement, most human lives and careers were plagued by irrationality and a lack of productivity. This was largely the symptom of what scientists refer to as “interpersonal passion,” which included two separate (though often conjointly occurring) phenomena: “love,” and “sex.” “Love” was a pre-Advancement word which referred to an irrationally strong bond between two people, which caused its sufferers to prioritise their fellow “lover,” as well as the integrity of the malignant bond itself, over vital things such as workplace productivity. Taken every two weeks in pill form, The Drug immediately removes interpersonal passion from the human psyche. Children’s friendships do not have the capacity to develop into full-fledged “love” since they are not yet adults. Every person over eighteen takes The Drug gladly, grateful that it allows them to be productive, clear-headed, and rational members of society. A few weeks before Louis’ eighteenth birthday, Harry and Louis fall in love. (Based on the book Louis writes in indiaalphawhiskey's Our Lives, Non-Fiction.)

➻ And When It's Time | larryftnoctrl | Soulmates - soulmate-identifying timers - 6k Louis wants a soulmate, Harry loves his free will. They don't exactly go hand in hand. Prompt: AU where you have a countdown on your wrist for when you're going to meet your soulmate and if you miss it the time will reset. Louis/Harry keep having awful luck and always are missing their time until one day they don't. Maybe the other one is scared/has anxiety about meeting their soulmate? Maybe one time they're in a relationship so they intentionally miss their time? Who knows! But they finally meet :D

➻ made for lovin' you | cuddlerlouis | a/b/o - enemies to lovers - hate to love - soulmates - hurt/comfort - angst - fluff smut - 53k “I’m in,” is all Louis receives. He blinks a few times, making sure he’s reading this right. “For real?” he asks, just to be a hundred percent sure. “Yes,” pops up. “How do you wanna pursue?” The alpha adds, like he’s on a special mission or something. “I’m gonna call us a cab to go to mine. Once I know it’s here, I’ll leave and join you there,” Louis explains. “I’ll text you to go around five minutes before it arrives, so it doesn’t look suspicious, and our friends don’t notice us leaving together.” “Noted.” So Louis does, and ten minutes later, he’s sat in the backseat of a cab, next to Harry Styles, the person he hates the most but unfortunately still finds attractive. They’re on their way to fuck in Louis’ flat. Splendid. - Or the one where a quick, horny decision ruins Louis’ summer plans, but may also lead to unexpected discoveries. Featuring the road trip of dreams, misunderstandings, and a bit of fate.

➻ deFENCEless | solvetheminourdreams | neighbors - enemies to lovers enemies to friends to lovers - gardening - fluff - humor - banter - no smut - 27k "I moved here first," Louis says with finality, crossing his arms over his chest. Harry shoots him an unimpressed look before leaning forward, leaving only a tiny gap between them. "Then get the fence first," he whispers, lips a mere inch or two away from Louis'. When Louis butts heads with his new neighbor who loves to garden a little too much, all he can do to protect his yard (and heart), is keep on building up his fence(s).

➻ Canyon Moon | delsicle | a/b/o - werewolf - soulmates - childhood friends - friends to lovers - arranged marriage - mutual pining - hurt/comfort - angst - 41k For as long as Louis has remembered, he has been promised to be mated to Harry, his best friend and the future pack alpha. But Louis’s heart belonged to the forest and to the hunt more than he could ever imagine it belonging to Harry. Then Harry’s father dies in a violent accident, and Louis’s future alpha disappears on the wind. An A/B/O Lion King AU

➻ only guilty of loving you | sweetrevenge | a/b/o - strangers to lovers - blind date - soulmates - fluff - angst - mutual pining - smut - 22k After Harry gets set up with his co-worker's alpha friend Louis, he's expecting some pleasant conversation, free dinner, and maybe a new friend. What he doesn't expect, however, is that Louis' arrival in his life begins a life of crime Harry never knew he had in him. A You've Got Mail!AU with a twist.

➻ 'Til Everything Changes | lovelarry10 | a/b/o - older characters - brokend bond - loss - falling in love - fluff - implied mpreg - smut - 57k Harry’s nose twitched as he caught a scent on the breeze, one that sent a shudder through his whole body. His eyes closed subconsciously, and he lost himself in the heady scent, the vanilla top notes, and the more woody undertones, making every hair on Harry’s body stand on end. That was how Harry discovered this man was an Alpha. “Jaz, Harry, this is my Uncle Louis. Lou, this is my girlfriend Jasmine, and her dad Harry.” "Lovely to meet you,” Louis grinned, leaning in and kissing Jasmine’s cheek quickly, a respectful Alpha gesture. Harry held his breath as Louis stuck out a hand, taking it almost reluctantly, certain the Alpha would pick up on his own scent and the nerves flowing through it. “Hi, Harry.” “Hi,” Harry said, his voice low and raspy, still affected by Louis’ scent. “Nice to meet you.” ~~~~ Harry’s an Omega who has been alone for too long. Louis’ an Alpha who is scared to find love again. Thanks to the meddling of Harry’s teenage daughter and her boyfriend, the two seem destined to meet, and it might just change everything they thought they knew about their lives. Will they find what they didn’t realise they’ve always wanted in each other?

➻ Mind Over Matter (You Under Me) | youreyesonlarry | ice hockey - hurt/comfort - angst - fluff - major character injury - pining - unrequited love hospitalization - smut - 74k It’s dark outside when Harry finishes practice for the day. -------- Prompt 21: Harry stopped playing hockey (after 10 years of a professional career) because of a severe injury. The dream he worked so hard for vanished in the blink of an eye. His family insisted that he had to go to physical therapy, even if it only helped his health. Cue to personal assistant Louis, the most efficient and kind PA one could hire

➻ Rooms on Fire | softfonds | a/b/o - actors - famous/famous - friends with benefits - secret relationship - 34k Ten years ago, Louis helping Harry through a heat was the start of a romance that ended in heartbreak. Now, Harry's marriage is over thanks to his husband's very public infidelity, and Louis is fresh off a Golden Globe win. The last thing they both expect is to be cast in the same movie.

➻ Stumbling Into Your Arms | sunshineandthemoonlight | a/b/o - strangers to lovers - college/university - fluff - 7k Suddenly, Harry’s nose was brushing against Louis' neck, where his scent was overwhelming. Harry jerked his head to the side and took a deep breath of air, trying to clear his nose of Louis’ scent. ‘Don’t get slick, don’t get hard, don’t get slick’, he repeated to himself in his head, like a mantra. Louis and Harry are university students heading home for the holidays. Harry quickly becomes enraptured by the attractive alpha standing across from him in the train carriage, who has a heavenly scent and a gentle smile.

➻ Little by Little | nonsensedarling | mpreg - non traditional a/b/o - exploring sexuality - exploring secondary gender norms - gender identity strangers to friends to lovers - mutual pining - fluff - slow burn - 65k Harry Styles is an omega who works at the London Planetarium, has lived in the same flat for ages, and is happy enough on his own. When he gets home from his first (horrible) attempt at dating in years, a new pregnant neighbor knocks on his door after smelling his cooking. He and Louis quickly become close, but their friendship gets complicated when Harry begins questioning who he is and what he likes. Or Harry discovers figuring out who you are is more complicated than a potato metaphor.