#there have literally been times where i was just. on the fucking brink of life. just so so fucking close to the edge.

[butchdykekondraki]

honestly wild i managed to even have someone as nice as my partner love me in the first place . wild

[pebblezone]

The Beach Boys Love You (1977) is such a questionable album I mean it’s barely even a Beach Boys album based on who contributes what but she’s so silly to me ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[nellasbookplanet]

Book recs: alien intelligences

Intelligent spiders, octupi, plants, bacteria, and even entire oceans, intelligence without sentience, extra terrestrials and strange intelligences evolved right here on Earth - alien minds can take many forms. Allow me to share with you some books featuring the most alien and fascinating ones.

Previous book rec posts:

Really cool fantasy worldbuilding, really cool sci-fi worldbuilding, dark sapphic romances, mermaid books, vampire books, many worlds: portal fantasies, many worlds: alternate timelines, robots and artificial intelligences, post- and transhumanism

For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!

The Doors of Eden by Adrian Tchaikovsky*

The Doors of Eden is something of an experiment in speculative biology, featuring versions of Earth in which various different species were the one to rise to sentience, from dinosaurs to neanderthals. Now, something is threatening the existence of all timelines, dragging multiple different people and species into the struggle, among those a pair of cryptid hunting girlfriends and a transgender scientist.

Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky*

Millenia and generation spanning scifi. After the collapse of an empire, a planet once part of a project to uplift other species to sentience is left to develop on its own, resulting not in the intelligent monkeys once intended but in sentient giant spiders. Millenia later, what remains of humanity arrives looking for a new home, only to be met by the artificial remains of the ancient woman who once led the uplift project - and she is not willing to let them on her planet.

Semiosis (Semiosis duology) by Sue Burke

A generational story following a group of humans trying to survive on a new planet, where a strange and unkowable intelligence is finding ways to use them to its whims. As the humans come across an abandoned city wrapped in the roots of a strange plant, they slowly come to the realization that mutual communication is the only path to peace and survival.

The Three-Body Problem by Cixin Liu

While I felt the characters could’ve been better developed, this is undeniably a well-written novel featuring an alien race and culture developed on a planet vastly different from ours. Firmly in the realm of hard scifi, this is a realistic, fascinating and slightly terrifying look at how first contact may look.

Brain Plague (The Elysium Cycle) by Joan Sloncewski*

Chrys, a struggling artist, agrees to become a carrier for a sentient strain of microbes. With their help, Chrys breathes new life into her career. But every microbe society is different - some function as friends and brain enhancers to their carrier, while others become a literal brain plague, a living addiction taking over the life of their carrier. And like every society, the microbe community is in constant flux - inluding the one inside Chrys's head.

Rosewater (The Wormwood trilogy) by Tade Thompson

In Nigeria lies Rosewater, a city bordering on a strange, alien biodome. Its motives are unknown, but it’s having an undeniable effect on the surrounding life. Kaaro, former criminal and current psychic agent for the government, is one of the people changed by it. When other psychics like him begin getting killed, Kaaro must take it upon himself to find out the truth about the biodome and its intentions.

Dawn (Xenogenesis trilogy) by Octavia E. Butler*

After a devestating war leaves humanity on the brink of extinction, survivor Lilith finds herself waking up naked and alone in a strange room. She’s been rescued by the Oankali, who have arrived just in time to save the human race. But there’s a price to survival, and it might be humanity itself. Absolutely fucked up I love it I once had to drop the book mid read to stare at the ceiling and exclaim in horror at what was going on.

Blindsight by Peter Watts*

Vampires and aliens and questions of the nature of consciousnesses, oh my. A ship is sent to investigate the sudden appearance of an alien vessel at the edge of the solar system, but the crew, a group of various level of transhumanism, isn’t prepared for the horrors awaiting them. No, seriously, this book will fuck you up, highly recommend if you’re okay with a lot of techno babble and existential horror.

Midnight Robber by Nalo Hopkinson*

Utterly unique in world-building, story, and prose, Midnight Robber follows young Tan-Tan and her father, inhabitants of the Carribean-colonized planet of Toussaint. When her father commits a terrible crime, he’s exiled to a parallel version of the same planet, home to strange aliens and other human exiles. Tan-Tan, not wanting to lose her father, follows with him. Trapped on this new planet, he becomes her worst nightmare. Enter this book with caution, as it contains graphic child sexual abuse.

Fragment (Fragment duology) by Warren Fahy*

The reality TV show Sealife is having a rough time - as it turns out, a ship full of scientist doesn’t make for the kind of drama they hoped for. Hoping for some excitement, they reach Hender's Island, a fragment of a lost continent that may contain an interesting new ecosystem. But as they step foot on the island, they quickly come to realize the ecosystem isn’t just new, it’s highly dangerous and very hungry. Among all this life is one single species that may be more dangerous than any other, but which may also be the salvation of the scientists on the island. A bit wonky, but genuinely one of the most fun books I have read, I love it so much.

Axiom's End (Noumena trilogy) by Lindsay Ellis

It’s 2007, and a leak has just confirmed that the US has reached alien contact. Cora wants nothing to do with it, but as her absent father is the whistleblower who dropped the news the media won’t leave her alone. Even worse, she soon finds herself meeting and being pursued by the alien presence itself as it tries to remain in hiding - and discovering that there is a much larger threat on the horizon.

The Road to Roswell by Connie Willis*

Francie has just traveled to Roswell to attend her college friend's wedding to a UFO conspirasist. Not a believer herself, Francie is shocked when she finds herself abducted by an alien. Her abductor is not much what popular media would have you believe, looking more like a tumbleweed than a grey alien, and is clearly on some kind of mission it isn’t willing to put on hold for the sake of Francie attending to her duties as a bridesmaid. As more people get roped along - among those a conman, an old lady, a ufo conspirasist, and a retiree with an RV - Francie finds herself getting closer to the alien and wanting to help it succeed.

Bonus rec: if you like this book, you may also enjoy the movie Paul, which has a similarly humorous tone and similar plot.

Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir*

Ryland Grace just woke up up from a coma, unable to remember anything. He finds himself alone on a space ship, and as his memories slowly trickle back, he realizes he's been sent on a mission: to find a solution to the impending doom of the earth. Still struggling with holes in his memories, Ryland tries to fulfill his mission, but as he gets closer to his goal, he discovers someone else got there first. And they aren't anything close to human. Funny, heartfelt, and heavy on the science.

Survival by Julie E. Czerneda

Mac, a biologist studying salmon on Earth, has little interest in life beyond her own planet. Despite this, she’s sought out by Brymn, an alien archaeologist hoping her expertise as a biologist can help him solve the secret behind the Chasm, a region of space completely devoid of life. Trying as she might not to get incolved, Mac has little choice as she and her colleagues come under attack by the mysterious Ro, the species Brymn's people suspect to be the cause of the Chasm.

Translation State by Ann Leckie*

An exploration of the alien as filtered through the human. At what point does the human become something else? When does something else become human? Is it a question of biology or culture, nature or nurture? Can we choose it? Can it be forced upon us? Set in the Imperial Radch universe, Translation State follows three different characters embroiled in the question of what makes a human. The alien Presger can only communicate with humans using their translators - people they’ve created that are not quite human and not quite alien. But as news of a translator fugitive arises, conflict brews regarding what right they have to choose their own identity and home.

Exo (Exo duology) by Fonda Lee*

Young adult. Earth has long since been under the control of an alien presence. Donovan Reyes is an exo, a human enhanced with alien technology, working to keep the colony and its people safe. The biggest enemy is Sapience, a terrorist organisation opposing alien rule by any means necessary. When a mission goes awry, Donovan finds himself abducted by Sapiance, something that risks a war. While it took until the second book for me to be fully sold on this series, it features a genuinely nuanced take on oppression and resistance rarely seen in YA genre.

Needle by Hal Clement

1950s classic. A small island in the pacific ocean and a fourteen-year-old boy have just become the center of an interstellar chase between an alien Hunter and the criminal he's pursuing. Robert is a regular boy, but he has a very special passenger: an alien symbiont hiding inside his body. The alien became stranded on Earth as he pursued a criminal of his own species, and now they are both trapped on the same island, playing a game of cat and mouse as Robert and the Hunter struggle to find their prey before it finds them.

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet (Wayfarers series) by Becky Chambers

Rosemary Harper just got a job on the motley crew of the Wayfarer, a spaceship that works with tunneling new wormholes through space. With a past she wants to leave behind, Rosemary is happy to travel the far reaches of the universe with the chaotic crew, but when they land the job of a life time, things suddenly get a lot more dangerous. A bit of a tumblr classic in its day, this is a cozy space opera with an episodic feel and vividly realized characters and cultures.

Under the Skin by Michel Faber

A dark allegory of alienation and dehumanization, Under the Skin follows Isserley, a woman traveling along the roads of England and picking up hitchhikers. Little does her passengers know, she’s an alien hiding her true self, and they are her prey and a delicacy for her species.

Solaris by Stanislaw Lem

1960s Polish classic. Arriving on a station orbiting the planet Solaris, Kris Kelvin is meant to study the strange, possibly sentient ocean that covers its entire surface. But the effects of the ocean are far reaching - Kelvin finds the crew of the station secretive and unstable, and is shocked to wake one day to the embodiement of a long dead lover. Was it created by the brain-like ocean, and if so, why?

West of Eden (West of Eden trilogy) by Harry Harrison

65 million years ago, the meteor that killed the dinosaurs never arrived. Without it, the dinosaurs lived and thrived, allowing a the complex society of the matriarchal Yilanè to arise. Meanwhile, in the new world, humans still evolve, and when an impending ice age forces the Yilanè across the ocean in search for a new home, the two are destined to clash. A bleak story of the cycle of violence and hate leading to war, West of Eden is a marvel of world-building.

Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool

Triptych by J.M. Frey

Kalp is a widower and alien refugee newly arrived on Earth; Gwen is a language expert secretly recruited by the United Nations to help integrate a ship of alien refugees; Basil is an engineer who loves them both. Together they must defend their relationship against a violently intolerant world.

The Sparrow (The Sparrow duology) by Mary Doria Russell

When proof of alien life is found, the United Nations are too slow in their plans for a first contact mission. Instead, the Society of Jesus overtake them and send their own ship, but the crew could never have been prepared for what they will find.

Lagoon by Nnedi Okorafor

Something massive and alien crashes into the ocean off the coast of Nigeria. Three people, a marine biologist, a rapper, and a soldier, find themselves encountering this presence, and have to race to save humanity before it's too late.

Honorary mentions AKA these didn't really work for me but maybe you guys will like them: Salvaged by Madeleine Roux, Exodus by Nicky Drayden, The Lesson by Cadwell Turnbull, Embassytown by China Miéville

[jq37]

Just to throw my two cents on the Rat Grinder discourse: They weren't worth the Intrepid Heroes' time. We didn't get the full picture of what's going on with the Grinders until the last quarter of the season. Before that they were just this other clique that hate the main characters, so in-character why would the Bad Kids bother giving them so much attention when they've got so much of their own crap going on. Kristens quest to get Cassandra back and her presidential campaign, Gorgugs courseload, Riz's million and one plates that he's been spinning all season, Adaines financial problems, Figs curse and her doubts about what she wants to do with her life. Fabian's the only one who might have had the time, but he had to be Maximum Legend. There genuinely was no time or even an incentive on the IH's side to develop the Rat Grinders characters.

I still think it's fucked up that these teenagers got taken advantage of by adults they trusted, but we didn't learn any of that until we only had two roleplay episodes left. Too little too late to even try anything diplomatic even if they didn't spend all their time after the Last Stand in hiding.

And a thing about Ivy that no one is roasting her about and really should: An elven archer? Really? Wow, never seen that before.

Yeah totally. Like, from a meta level, I see where the players themselves could have been more curious about the Rat Grinders. There are obvious plot threads that could have been teased out there (though, in fairness to the cast, the adult manipulation aspect didn't become clear until way later in the season--the rivalry and foil aspects were more obvious). This final confrontation could look really different if they'd played that all the way out all season.

But in character? The Bad Kids really didn't have a good reason to waste time on the Rat Grinders. They came into this school year already burnt out from their Night Yorb quest and wanting a break. But they don't get that because they immediately are beset by problems they have to deal with--Kristen's god is on death's door from neglect and she's on the brink of expulsion, Riz is running himself ragged trying to boost his resume for college, Fig is having a whole ass existential crisis, Adaine is struggling with money issues she doesn't want to talk about, Gorgug is taking FOUR YEARS of school at the same time, and Fabian is multiclassing and dealing with his empty house/not having parental support (or Cathilda's support) for the first time. They are dealing with SO MUCH high stakes, personal stuff before the plot even kicks in. And, mechanics-wise, this is represented with the downtime system that means that any time they spend on the RG's is time they can't spend on something that matters more to them. IMO, not prioritizing your haters is actually pretty mature. Like, they weren't proactively using their free time to bully them or anything (except for arguably Fig). They were snippy with them when they crossed their paths and that was it. As opposed to the Rat Grinders who literally had to be told by Jace to stop antagonizing the Bad Kids (though they must have been pretty ineffectual at it because the Bad Kids hardly noticed, which I bet stung considering they were so obsessed).

And also, it's not like they didn't try at all with the Rat Grinders. Early Insight checks on Kipperlilly just got, "This is a polished steel orb of a personality" which doesn't sound very worth interacting with in a sympathetic way if at all and then the next big thing they learn is that she had hated Riz since Freshman Year and that she wants Riz and Kristen dead. And that's AFTER we saw her smile and kill her party cleric. In their position I'm not spending further time trying to empathize with this person, I have made my judgement and it's up to the Jawbones of the world to find if there's something in there to be rehabilitated.

And that's not the only case. Adaine straight up saved Ruben from disintegration during the Frosty Folk battle when she easily could have saved the spell slot, but that didn't soften him towards the Bad Kids any. Adaine also was really keen to Scry on the Rat Grinders to find out what was happening at their meetings. But, in scene at least, she was never able to do that so we never got a scene of them, huddled together, clearly unsure about the path they're on but not feeling like they can walk it back or say no to the authority figures in their lives. She didn't get anything humanizing that would cause her to rethink their position on them the way that she did with Aelwyn for instance. So why would they think they're anything but gleeful co-conspirators?

Hell, the one RG Adaine was even slightly curious about was Oisin and now we know that he was feigning interest in her which, man, can you imagine how much worse that would have felt if she'd actually taken the bait and pursued him beyond just thinking he was cute? Of course, it's possible that her interacting with him more along with some good charm rolls could have changed the narrative in some way but we can only go off of what we know to be true in canon and those facts are (1) He tried to get closer to Adaine while actively planning the downfall of her and her friends, (2) he (along with Ivy) was mean to Buddy behind his back while tricking him into a plan that would force him to go against his religious beliefs, and (3) he called his KVX related dragon ancestors to try to kill the Bad Kids and endanger the entire student body population. Three strikes, you're out. If I'm a Bad Kid I'm not super interested in whatever else is going on with him. And again, literally all of Adaine's friends (except Riz) gave her help to do an Insight check on him during their confrontation in the hallway so she was looking for something there worth engaging with, but she didn't get much.

Fig was fully doing CIA, MKUltra, Fantasy Geneva Convention violations on Ruben to try see if she could get information or flip him. I think she did it in an objectively insane way so I'm not entirely shocked that it didn't yield the exact results she was looking for. But she never found the smoking gun (or whatever the opposite of that is) in his head that would absolve him/show the Rat Grinders were being controlled and her messing with his dreams never flared his conscience enough to make him try to break free (as far as we know) which is what I assume she was going for. If I was Ruben looking for a way out but scared of the repercussions, I might go to Adaine who saved me from certain death earlier the same year and has helped saved the world 3 times with her party and their friends in high (and low) places. Maybe that's what Fig thought might happen but it didn't so from Fig's POV? Gave him a chance. Time to start blasting. And again, at that age, if I walked in to the first day of class and the first thing this random boy does is sneer at me and flaunt his musical success, I'm popping up on his Nemesis Alert at that moment. Doubly so after he tries to trick me and my friends into doing drugs so we get expelled. I'm surprised she tried at all with him.

Fabian absolutely tried to interact with Ivy--in large part for self interested reasons of course, but that doesn't change that he did it. And she came across as callous and unkind from the jump. Their final conversation before the latest episode is the one where she talks about wearing Mazey like a sweater and then says that Fabian missed his chance with her before stalking off. That's a pretty open and shut interaction. No way 17 year old me is like, "Hmm, but why is she acting so mean? Perhaps I should examine that more closely to further understand her." Nah, I've decided she sucks.

And Kristen has tried with Buddy literally up until the last moment. She rolled an Insight check on him right before the fight started and she got a 1. She got nothing from him.

Mary Ann is actually the only Rat Grinder who hasn't done anything to make a bad impression on the Bad Kids--the only thing she did was have a really good Bloodrush tryout. So no reason to hate her specifically (and, in fact, she is also the only Rat Grinder that at least half of them are positively obsessed with), but no reason to explore her further. And Kristen still tried giving her a stuffed animal and her response was that she already had that one and that she was going to give it away. What are they supposed to do with that?

Even when they tried, they didn't get information that was worth chasing when they were so busy and had to manage their free time. Gorgug didn't even slot in downtime to talk to his bio parents when they visited. Why would he spend any time on Mary Ann to figure out her deal? Maybe if they were given more explicit opportunities to interact with them in passing. If Mary Ann was shown at Bloodrush Games. If during class time Oisin tried to interact with Adaine. If Kristen ran into Buddy and Bucky talking. If any of their forays into talking to them or looking into them yielded anything actionable or that piqued their interest--they opened the door for Brennan to give them something more than once. But they never got anything that was worth investing more of their limited time into.

(And also, they didn't learn that Porter was involved until WAY into the last quarter of the episodes. Which absolutely could have changed things since, as far as they knew the RG's were working alone to raise this god which isn't crazy for them to think because Kristen literally did that last year and it was of her own free will. If they knew early that the RG's were smaller players in Porter's plot then maybe they would have been in more of a rescue mindset--especially since Fig has always mistrusted him--but that's not information they had and by the time they got it, the RG's were in deep hiding, like you said.)

And so, coming into the last few episodes, that's who the Rat Grinders are to the Bad Kids. A group of kids who they first heard about in the context of, "they famously hate you," even though they'd never interacted before. A group of kids who they already thought sucked even before they tried to kill the entire study body an hour ago. A group of kids who are trying to doom all of Elmville to eternal rage and who are willing and ready to kill them to do it.

With that context, yeah I think their actions are pretty understandable.

(Also, lmao. Yeah, I think calling Ivy basic would probably hurt her more than most things you could say to her.)

[horror-sapphic]

NSFW ALPHABET | WANDA MAXIMOFF

a/n: Sorry for any errors, I barley checked over this.

Cw: NSFW themes (18+)

A — ( aftercare ) - Wanda LOVES to lay on your chest/ having you lay on hers, depending on how rough it got between you two, the night will end with a simmer in the tub before bed.

B — ( body part ) - On you, Wanda loves your hands, constantly craving to be held and touched by them. She daydreams about them wrapped around her, your pretty painted fingers spreading her folds open to get more access to her eager clit.

C — ( cum ) - When she takes control, she loves to make sure you're overstimulated until your swollen pussy is so sensitive you can't even close your legs. Then she leaves you in bed, squirming in your own cum.

D — ( dirty secret ) - When she's out doing chores/at work, she looks around for all the places she can bend you over to fuck you in public.

E — ( experience ) - You both have equal experience, but she's definitely a bit more "skilled".

F — (favorite position ) - She loves watching you bounce and ride her cock, looking down to where it connects inside of you just to watch it slide easily in and out of your soaked pussy and using her thumb to rub over your raised clit peaking out. She loves grabbing your hips to help you keep your rhythm. While taking turns sucking on both of your tits.

G — ( goofy ) - She can be pretty unserious during sex, the only time she's not is when she's in domme mode.

H — ( hair ) - She loves to pull on yours when you eat her out, or when she’s in full Domme mode she loves to pull on it as a way to keep you put.

I — ( intimacy ) - She loves morning sex when it’s just the two of you hazily getting each other off with a gentle touches , soft slow breaths against one another.

J — ( jack off ) - When you're away she'll definitely tune into the homemade tapes you both decided to make a while back, furiously rubbing against her aching clit to the sight of you cumming against her in the videos.

K — ( kink ) - Calling her mommy when she fucks you dumb turns her on more than she'd like to admit, having you whimper out that name while on the brink of cumming on her command just makes her want to ruin you.

L — ( location ) - Everywhere in the house you can think of, Wanda has yet to take you out and have people pass by while she plows into your leaking cunt.

M — ( motivation ) - Sitting back and watching you do things around the house can get her started.

N — ( no's ) - The thought of sharing you with anyone is a hard no for her, you're hers and hers only.

O — ( oral sex ) - Her favorite way to wake you up in the mornings, and to put you to sleep. Her mouth is always fixed on the clit of your pussy, flicking and sucking about.

P — ( pace ) - Oh fuck. When Wanda wants to, she can drag fucking you out for hourrrs. She loves to edge you, watching you on all fours with your cunt literally dripping onto the sheets while you desperately rock back and forth trying to get her to slip back into you.

Q — ( quickie ) - Just like she can go as long as she wants to, she can go pretty fast too. Just pummeling into your pussy fucking it raw to get you off fast, and hard enough to the point where you end up going nonverbal for a little.

R — ( risk ) - Has yet to be risky but wants to, be later in the relationship.

S — ( stamina ) - Going all through the night won't faze her, it's you who has to take a break from her.

T — ( toys ) - Using toys is a common thing in the bedroom for you guys, all sorts of strapons/dildos, plugs, vibrators. You too are constantly using them on each other or on yourselves.

U — ( unfair ) - She loves to tease, she will leave you dripping, waiting for her to come back and make you cum after doing various house tasks.

V — ( volume ) - You always end up louder than you want to, but there have been times when Wanda lets you top and she's the one squirming and whining to come. She can get pretty loud.

W — ( wildcard ) - There is never a dull moment in your sex life with her, she's always making you reach new heights, whether that's making you squirt for the first time, having you take anal for the first time, having you be the one to give her strap (which was your first time), or cumming over and over again until you felt like you melted into your bed.

X — ( x-ray ) —

Y — ( yearning ) - She always wants you to be near her, whenever you're not, she'll look through her photos of you. Until the two of you are reunited.

Z — ( Zzz ) - She enjoys watching your chest rise and fall after a long session, this eases her to sleep but you'd be the one to fall asleep first.

[drdemonprince]

to the anon who sent me the message that took them 4 hours to draft.

I think your experience both with organizing and disability has probably provoked you to rethink the entire concept of "success" as our culture has defined it, even if you feel yourself still longing for some of the comfort and ease that capitalistic success can seemingly provide (or that we are conditioned to believe it can provide). im not sure what to say that can match the effort your put into your message, in fact i am galled by the fact that i know that i can't match that effort. i don't know how to make sense of the fact that a person who is finding it incredibly difficult to remain connected and engaged during this time, due to disability, has decided that i was worth that level of effort when they don't have the energy to message people they know. i don't think i am worth that effort. but i also respect that mired in all that you're mired in, it's a meaningful gesture toward engagement and connection to even bother writing such a message. i just think in a lot of ways i am a misplaced target for it, because i am a ridiculously privileged and publicly exposed individual who receives dozens of heartfelt messages that he doesnt find the time to respond to every single day. i think if anything that i've written rubs you the wrong way you'd be right to approach it with cynicism. because what the fuck do i know, banging around on my laptop every day and getting paid for it. how dare i lecture anybody about not unlearning capitalism adequately enough. i am one of capitalisms little milking cows. a massive publishing company makes a weekly profit off of me, off the byproduct of the worst years of my life and my worst traumas, as well as the meaning i've made from the scholarship of others.

i'm so enraged for you that you got a debilitating case of COVID (after several other cases) on an encampment, and that now the community you foster at that encampment is not there for you. i am disgusted at how more seasoned activists and organizations have regarded student protestors as disposable this entire year, selling them out to the cops, cutting bad deals with campus administration, and sending them to yellow and red risk level actions without adequate communication and getting them kettled and beat, or else nullifying their efforts with mealy-mouthed talk about keeping things peaceful. i see so many toothless, neoliberal protests happening here, ones that serve only as fundraisers for massive nonprofit orgs, and i also see literal teenagers being dragged right into paddy wagons by the likes of the PSL or the RCP while the Dems deride them and dance to Brat tracks, not even pretending to care the way they unconvincingly did in say 2020.

It's all making me terribly cynical, wondering where we are headed and whether i can or should encourage people who are younger, stronger, more energetic, more pliable, and more vulnerable to me to give up all that they've got for a cause when it's likely gonna be chewed up and spit out and not met in effort by anyone else. i am mournful of the fact that even i can't match that effort. every time i get a message from a friend or acquaintance who is going through some new awful traumatizing event i want to just curl up and disappear, because i can't even keep up with sending compassionate messages to all of them, let alone actually showing the fuck up and doing anything for them. and so sometimes i slip into the disaffected, blunted feeling that once led me as a younger man into libertarianism, thinking that all i can or should do is look after my own wellbeing, and fuck everybody else. and obviously that is a horrible path that is not by any means moral and certainly didn't help me anyway. it felt like we were on the brink of a great paradigm shift of some kind, a collapse of these evil systems, and now it feels like all of that is as far away as it's ever been, and that there aren't enough people with class consciousness and care for one another to make it happen.

i don't know. i think we all have to abandon our dreams of success, of comfort, of saving the world, the fantasies of everything being fine. i think we need to look to our immediate surroundings and our communities. i think we need to ask for help a whole hell of a lot more than any of us are doing, and to recognize that that is a form of helping. i think we need to get small. and remember we are weak animals. and stop thinking there is anything special or chosen about us. and to remember that nature can often be very cruel and that there is nothing we are owed. disabled people already know this of course, we know life isn't fair. we try to do what we can and yet we wake up feeling even less capable the next day, and it knows no logic and the universe remains indifferent to it. but there are people around us who can care, when we ask them to. and ways that we can just be there alongside one another in the muck of it all. not even necessarily making things better. certainly not being a savior and making the pain go away. maybe just sitting in the muck together.

all of which is to say, i am feeling stuck and overwhelmed and useless myself, anon, and i dont have any more answers than you. but thanks for messaging. im sorry people have taking advantage of you. including in my opinion lots of other activists. looking after yourself and not letting people guilt you doesn't mean turning into a conservative. the kind of anarchy that i am embracing right now is one that goes beyond linear change, beyond making meaning, beyond any idealistic visions of the future, beyond even fighting for some kind of symbolic survival. it's just being. none of it has to mean anything, none of it has to be headed anywhere. it just is. there is plenty for you to be bitter about.

[dxxtruction]

Louis' "You're boring!" Could mean so many things, but I think what's most apparent about that line is that Armand takes no initiative just for himself. He's not really anybody, because he never goes out and finds himself or gets attached to anyone but Louis. Without Louis as his guide he's literally just sitting on a couch picking lint! That's the thing.

He orbits constantly around what would make Louis happy, and never really fully going what would make me happy? Ultimately that drive to please Louis is what drives him to torturing Daniel, not so much that he'd care to just do it. Ultimately, not giving proper care to Louis is just a way to make sure Louis knows he has to orbit around him as well, with shoving Lestat onto him just that other nail on the coffin. So, even if he fails to figure out how to make Louis happy with him, he still knows what Armand is good for, and better than.

That dependency is what drives Armand's abuse. It really just comes down to that. Armand doesn't even realize how suffocated he is by his own dependency. This is just how life is to him. (It shouldn't be lost either that dependency is a theme considering this episode also deals with addiction).

Daniel's fascinating because he's just so driven to be somebody. He's largely independent, he seeks things because he wants them. It's his drug to poke and prod at all the things that he shouldn't. Daniel's exciting because he lets Louis in to something different, lets him in to all this potential in another person that he can also do the same with for himself. It's a real connection. A two way street. It's easy to tell how Armand can be smothering then because he's never introducing him to anything really new, and most the ways both of them connect are all painful and traumatic. It's never just fun because there's always that layer of that pain. Fun died with Claudia.

50 years on they've gotten to a lot better place, both of them, but it's still that same shit. No seriously, "How is this any different from last time, Louis?"

Well... Because Armand's going to be, at the very least, making one [1] decision only for himself - and that's to hold power over Daniel's life. Fucking sick foreshadowing.

They aren't driving each other to the brink anymore but "The vampire is bored" STILL. Maybe it's even worse, despite being in better places, because Louis' sort of just been defeated by it. (I mean, can he even really leave this either?). He's accepting the dependancy cause he kind of has to. He'd literally ended up letting all the enjoyment be up where he can't reach [The book shelves]. Armand so desperately wants Louis happiness but what really ends up happening is that Louis ends up having to give Armand all his own. He's got no one or anything else to get it from. But like an iPad and an over the top eating ritual. Two extremes of what's just more lint picking.

This whole relationship is one I find just tragic inside and out. You have to just pity it, really. There's ways in which you can find yourself feeling bad for both of them. But you can only really be mad at Armand for any of it. Armand, who isn't even 'free' in any sense, having so little concept of his own independence, but is at the same time so controlling over other's. It's a tragic cycle. It's an infuriating one.

Louis at least has the mind to know when enough is enough. If just needing that extra push to get there. Armand's too scared of it being over to even try.

[oldmanffucker]

my first instinct upon seeing this was to get angry and want to hit this person with hammers, but actually I want to talk about this.

this post, and I didn't even want to click in the read the rest bc it made me to sad to see, is saying that Wilson and Amber only dated for a maximum of three months, so should he really be this torn up about her loss?

So, as a grief support specialist and house fan, let's talk about it.

First and foremost, it's the depth, not the length, of a relationship that matters. Quality over quantity, all of that. Of course. But also, if we look at Amber and Wilson's relationship itself, this is kind of the first time Wilson is in a relationship that feels really good to him. Amber doesn't just want Wilson bc she needs him and needs to be put first by him, she wants him to take care of himself too. He's being challenged for the first time (in a romantic context) (canonically) to not put himself on the back burner for everyone else, but to think about what Wilson wants. House, of course, does this too, but in different ways. Which is also to say that Amber is a revelation for him because she is like House--House who is his longest and arguably only real friend, the person he trusts the most, is most able to be himself around. And now he's found this person who he can feel all that in a romantic and sexual context too.

Which is all to say that this relationship wasn't like any other three month fling he had, this one had a depth to it from the very beginning that was really important and profound to Wilson, and was changing some parts of himself in a way that was really kind of life altering, even as it was also pretty subtle in many ways to the casual viewer.

This, plus the fact that her death itself was really sudden, very traumatic, and prolonged (a couple days and many really traumatic failed attempts to save her life, including his best friend risking his life for her), really adds up to someone being profoundly affected by this loss.

But beyond this, Wilson did not only experience the loss of Amber with her death. There are losses we grieve beyond simply dying. The whole experience before finding out she was even missing and hurt, of seeing House without memory, of even for a little while thinking they may have had an affair, of watching House kill himself (literally) to bring back his memories - this portion of the situation alone is an experience of a loss of safety. He's realizing that life is random, and terrifying in a whole new way than he may have known it before. His best friend was in a bus accident. Life is random and he could have died. There is no guaranteed safety. His best friend who knows everything suddenly knows nothing. A loss of the status quo, of what he's assumed is the way things are. he's watching his best friend go to extreme lengths in order to capture his memories. he's watching his best friend fucking die on a bus floor as he tries to revive him with his boss. Loss of control, loss of the norm, loss of the future they could have had if none of this happened.

THEN.!! He's made aware that Amber was involved in all of this. And we don't know where she is or how she's doing. He's now been introduced to ambiguous loss (which he has experienced at great length with his brother who went missing, and is now experiencing again). Now they have to find Amber. Okay and now they've found her and she's in a coma and really on the brink of death. And this too is an ambiguous loss of another variety. He's experiencing both sides of ambiguous loss about Amber back to back (1. Physical absence and psychological presence (ex. someone missing/estranged) 2. Physical presence and psychological absence (ex. parent w dementia, someone in a coma))

He then has to skip over the grieving part and jump into problem solving and trying to keep her alive. and then his boy best friend has to risk his life for amber and wilson and almost die. And then Wilson has to realize that now, his kind of technically-alive-but-not girlfriend, he has to let her go. And she's woken up and he has mere moments to say his goodbyes and I love you's.

And ALL OF THAT is just the loss itself.

Then he is "grieving" or "mourning" in the way that is generally understood by the average person. If you ask the average person (esp in the US) what grief is, they'd usually point to this--after someone dies when you're sad--and none of the many paragraphs of grief and loss grappling I wrote about just before that.

The average bereavement leave is 3 days. Grief will invariably last more than three days. The amount of time we see Wilson grieving is frankly, really fucking regular. Even for a death less fraught and traumatic (subjectively) than this one.

Besides all of this, there are a number of different grief styles, and I think that Wilson's grief style is that of the Intuitive, or Heart, Griever (isn't that just perfect? I wonder if the writers knew that when they named the episode Wilson's Heart...).

This type of griever is more overtly emotional than the Intellectual, or Head, Griever (the other 2 styles are the Blended, or Head & Heart Griever, and the Dissonant, or Head vs Heart Griever). But is again, really common! Perhaps the asker of this original Reddit question is a head griever, or a dissonant griever, or perhaps even someone who has never yet had to grieve, and has only been fed the myths about grief, and they're trying to make sense of such a large grief.

There is no right way to grieve, there is no correct length of time that that grieving should last. There's no correct amount of time you are allowed to know someone before you grieve their death or pain. The way you grieve is the way you need to grieve, you simply have to try to honor it.

(I don't have a reddit so I can't respond to this directly, but feel free to link this in the responses to the post itself if you feel so inclined)

[totallyjustabunchofhocuspocus]

Fic: Something to Sink Your Teeth Into 10/?

Pairing: Buck/Tommy

Vampire/Witch!AU

Read on AO3

COVER ART FOR THIS STORY!!!!!

“Okay,” Lucy said.

For about the fourth time since Tommy had stopped talking. She stood up from the armchair, paced the length of the living area a couple of times, and then sat back down.

“Okay,” she said again. She rubbed her hands together quickly, then drummed her fingers on the tops of her thighs a few times. Then stood up again. “Okay.”

“Think you broke her,” Sal remarked, smirking when Lucy glared at him. He settled more comfortably on the couch beside Tommy, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table and ignoring the pointed look Tommy shot him.

“How the hell are you two so calm about this?” Lucy demanded. She started pacing again, her arms crossed over her chest, muttering under her breath…mostly permutations of the word fuck. “Do you know how close we are to an all-out coven war? The witches have been getting more and more nervous about Gerrard and Ortiz possibly making a formal alliance. If it gets out that someone on their side was giving Gerrard access to witch blood? They’ll go nuts. They’ll think we’ve got spies or thralls or something in the covens.”

Sal shrugged, exchanging a loaded look with Tommy. Lucy had risen so quickly in the ranks of Alonzo’s coven, her political acumen, easy way with people, and the fact that she was a product of the modern world they all had to navigate now making her an invaluable asset. It had been an easy, logical choice for Alonzo to officially make her his second. Tommy and Sal had both always been more comfortable on the lower ends of coven hierarchy, for all that they were the most powerful vampires in the coven. Neither had protested Lucy being promoted above them.

Sometimes, though, they both forgot how young she really was. She hadn’t even seen a full century, yet. Even Ravi was older.

“Witches and vampires are always on the edge of all-out coven war,” Tommy said tiredly. “We just have to be quieter about it, now.”

Tommy had grown used to the world changing around him. He’d been struck dumb with amazement by the progress humanity made many times over the centuries. But in the last couple hundred years he felt like he had literally watched the world shrink. Technology, the internet, social media—sometimes the very concept of how different day-to-day life was from the earliest memories he could still scrape up from the recesses of his mind left him reeling. Lucy and Ravi liked to tease him for living like a hermit at the sprawling house the coven called their own (he had a phone and TV, and a fully-restored ’69 Camaro that he loved like a child…but other than that, he eschewed modern technology; he fully acknowledged his rooms at the coven house looked like museum dioramas), but the truth was he sometimes felt the world had changed too much. It didn’t feel real to him. Or maybe he was the one that was no longer real.

Real or not, though, the world felt smaller than it ever had, and witches and vampires had to be more careful to avoid detection than they ever had. The caution and heightened danger of discovery had led to the longest and most solid period of truce that Tommy could remember, but the tensions didn’t disappear. They just festered. Most of the time, covens could head them off before they boiled over, but Tommy was entirely unsurprised by Lucy’s assertion that things in LA were that precarious.

Sal was correct. Witches and vampires were always on the brink of all-out coven war.

“Okay,” Lucy said. Again. “I’m not gonna lie, I wish you’d called us before you got Grant’s coven involved, but you’re right…we can’t just kill him now.”

At that, Evan made a soft, choked sound from where he was sitting at Tommy’s breakfast bar—pointedly as far away from the three of them as he could manage. He’d been picking at the rest of the food Tommy had ordered while they talked, making himself small and quiet in a way that someone as tall and broad as he was really shouldn’t have been able to manage. Now Tommy heard his heartrate kick up again from across the room, even as Evan steadfastly tried to pretend the container of fresh strawberries and melon slices had his full attention. Sal kicked lightly at one of Lucy’s legs as she paced past him.

“Maybe try not to talk about killing the human like we’re discussing the weather while he’s five feet away? Especially since his word-of-the-day calendar can flambe us?” he said casually. Lucy glared at him again, but Tommy interjected before Sal could needle her further.

“No one is killing anyone,” he said firmly. When he glanced over at the kitchen, he found the witch staring at him like he was a puzzle Evan couldn’t figure out. As soon as he realized Tommy was looking back, he averted his eyes back to the fruit, but Tommy supposed it was an improvement over the witch staring at him in abject terror.

Lucy’s lip curled, a disgruntled look crossing her face, but she muttered a half-hearted apology more-or-less in Evan’s direction. Evan didn’t respond…but there was a slight lessening of the tension in his shoulders. The puzzled frown on his face deepened.

“So, I take it you’re planning on leaving him with Grant?” Lucy continued.

Tommy nodded, not bothering to get into the specifics of what Evan had told him about how much Athena Grant and Howie would (or more precisely, would not) be able to help Evan. It was Evan’s business…and honestly, he wasn’t sure he wanted it getting back to Alonzo that Evan would be in the wind once they got done explaining everything that was happening to Howie’s coven. Alonzo was his friend as well as his coven master, and Tommy trusted him to always put what was best for the coven above all else.

Unfortunately, right now it would be best for the coven if Evan was dead. Whatever the extenuating circumstances were, the southern California high coven would not be happy that a vampire of Tommy’s age and power had ingested witch blood. Lucy was absolutely right that they would try to use it as an excuse to drive Tommy from the territory…if not outright demand his execution. Apart from Tommy being a member of his coven and his friend, Tommy was also Alonzo’s most powerful asset and the main reason a coven as small and full of (relatively) young vampires as theirs had the clout it did.

Vampires were too territorial for anything like the witches’ high coven system to work, but there was usually a loose alliance of larger covens in a given area that were regarded as the closest thing to authority vampires had. Tommy knew the alliance that existed in LA wouldn’t want to anger the SoCal high coven for him. Especially with things being as tense as they were, and Gerrard and Ortiz making a play to become the largest coven in the state. If Alonzo still wanted Evan dead, it would only be to protect Tommy.

Tommy just couldn’t allow it.

His eyes drifted back to the witch, watching as he popped a strawberry into his mouth and then pulled the box with the giant cinnamon roll the diner was apparently famous for closer, absentmindedly licking a few drops of berry juice from the corner of his lips.

His observation was interrupted by a sharp elbow in his side, and he looked over to find Sal watching him with narrowed, suspicious eyes. “Not like you to get stupid over a pretty face,” Sal said in a dialect of Italian that had died out a few hundred years ago. Lucy flicked them an irritated look but went back to her pacing.

“I’m not being stupid,” Tommy groused back in the same language. “And it’s not just because he’s pretty.”

There was no point in denying it. Tommy had always had a type, and Evan Buckley was exactly it. He was pretty—beautiful even—with those clear blue eyes and his hair curling messily over his forehead, the sunshine-bright smile Tommy remembered from the night before. But he was also broad and solid, clearly strong as hell. By the standards of the time he’d been born into, Tommy had been freakishly large—a regular Hulk, to borrow a comparison from Lucy and Ravi’s lexicon—and he knew he was still an impressive specimen in this modern age. Evan wasn’t quite as bulky and muscular, but he wasn’t far off. If Tommy were human, they might even be pretty evenly matched.

“Then what is it?” Sal asked curiously.

“Oh my God, stop yapping in dead languages!” Lucy snapped, and Sal flipped her the bird without even looking away from Tommy’s face.

Evan was studiously pretending to be focused on the cinnamon roll, but Tommy could tell he was watching all three of them, still with that confused frown wrinkling his brow. It was disturbingly adorable.

“I don’t know,” Tommy admitted quietly, knowing that wouldn’t reassure his old friend any, but unable to lie in the face of his genuine concern (however jokingly it was presented). “I just…feel like I shouldn’t let anything happen to him.”

Sal’s eyes narrowed further at that, and then he turned to eye Evan even more suspiciously than he had been eyeing Tommy. “You don’t feel like you’ve been spelled,” he admitted reluctantly. “I can tell you’ve drunk witch blood, but there’s no,” he waved his hand around in a vague gesture, “magic hanging on you. That’s the only reason I’m even entertaining all this.”

Tommy chuckled softly. “Just what do you think you’d do if he was controlling me somehow? You forget what happened the last time you tried to tried to take me on?”

“Forgetting the details of that humiliation was a high priority, actually, yes. And fine, so I’d basically bleed on you very dramatically and hope you tripped over my body or something long enough for Lucy to snap his neck. Don’t have to rub it in.”

“I hate you both,” Lucy said. “What time are you meeting Chimney and Grant?”

“They want me to text them when I’m there. That shopping center over by Sunset. There’s a coffee shop that I can get to through the underground parking and it’s not that far from the fire station. Evan wants to take his car, though, so we’ll have to wait ‘til sundown,” Tommy said, shooting a quelling look at Lucy when she bristled at the idea of Evan dictating any of the terms of their meeting.

“They, uh, they can’t come here?” Evan asked suddenly, the first time he’d spoken since Sal and Lucy showed up. Lucy turned toward him with a bark of laughter that had him flinching back, though he hid it well.

“Witches and vampires don’t meet on their own territory, even when they’re friendly,” she said. “Neutral locations only, not claimed by any coven.”

“Oh. I guess that makes sense,” Evan said, and looked down at the breakfast bar. “Is, uh, is your car safe for you to, to drive in daylight?” he asked curiously.

“Specially tinted glass, invented by a vampire who got turned while he was doing grad school at MIT,” Sal answered. “Only been around about thirty years…fucking gamechanger, man.”

Evan bit down hard on the inside of his cheek a moment, closing his eyes briefly and tilting his head as though listening to something only he could hear. When he opened his eyes, he looked up at Tommy again, seeming to have come to some kind of decision. “I—I still want my Jeep,” he said carefully. “But, but if it would help to see this Grant woman sooner, I…I could follow you?”

“Do we look that stupid to you?” Lucy asked incredulously. Evan shrank back slightly before he forced himself to straighten, still focused on Tommy.

“You, you said LA was on the edge of a coven war. If, I mean, if I can tell your, your friends—” He stumbled over the word again, still clearly having trouble with the concept of Tommy being friendly with witches. “If I can tell them something to help stop that, I want to help.”

Lucy was already shaking her head, and Sal didn’t look anymore comfortable with the idea. Tommy hummed consideringly, watching as Evan’s eyes darted between the three of them. “Or—or.” He stopped, licking his lips briefly before a new determination flashed across his face. “I could make the Jeep windows, uh, safe.”

Lucy reeled back a little, frowning. “What? How the hell would you do that?”

Evan shrugged one shoulder. “I’m guessing you have cars with the, the fancy windows wherever you parked my Jeep, right?” Tommy nodded and Evan’s shoulders straightened. “Simple transmutation spell. I just need an, uh, an example to follow.”

Honestly, neither idea was very appealing. As much as he would like to trust Evan to just follow along in his own car, Tommy hadn’t lived this long by being naïve. It was too much of a risk that Evan would simply peel off in LA traffic and run. It was equally risky to trust that any windows he bespelled would a: actually work and b: not “mysteriously” malfunction halfway to their destination. Tommy was damn tough, especially with witch blood running through his veins…but sunlight was the be-all and end-all of ways to kill a vampire. Legends aside, no vampire was safe from daylight. Yet, time really could be of the essence. A delay of a few hours might not be catastrophic…but could he take that chance?

No, the safest thing would be to insist that Evan accompany him in one of the coven vehicles stored in the building’s parking garage.

But…he didn’t want to force Evan to do anything else. It was illogical, irrational, even dangerous, considering all the moving pieces that were piling up on the board, but he didn’t want the witch to be afraid of him anymore. He wanted Evan to trust him. He wanted it very, very badly. Evan himself was taking a risk by even coming to this meeting with Tommy. He had no real reason to believe Tommy was telling him the truth. Perhaps he could extend a little bit of trust back?

“We can take your car,” he said, ignoring the way Lucy’s eyes practically bugged out of her skull. “How long will it take you to, what is it, cast?”

Evan was silent for a few heartbeats, as though he hadn’t really expected Tommy to go along with either of his plans. He didn’t think he was imagining, though, that a little more of the tension seeped out of the witch’s frame. “Not very long. Maybe ten minutes for the transmutation to fully set?”

Tommy nodded to himself, rising from the couch. “All right then. Luce, see if Mehta or Marks have heard anything about any of our covens getting access to witch blood. If Greenway was regularly working with witches trying to leave their covens, Evan might not have been the first to end up at some party.” Evan looked faintly sick at that. Lucy and Sal just looked worried. “Your shoes and wallet are still upstairs,” Tommy continued. Evan eyed them warily as he sidled towards the stairs, jogging up them quickly, as though he didn’t want to turn his back on them for long.

Tommy sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face, before turning to Sal and Lucy. “Listen. If Alonzo decides the coven needs to throw me under the bus for this, you fucking do it. All right? Don’t argue with him.”

“I’d throw you under a bus just for fun,” Sal lied, the lighthearted tone not hiding the worry in his eyes. He flicked a look up the stairs. “You be careful with that one, brother,” he said, switching back to the ancient Italian that had been his mother tongue. “Something feels…off about him.”

“I’m always careful,” Tommy answered in kind. He held his arm up in invitation, and Lucy burrowed into his side, giving him a quick hug.

“You want me to feed the monster tonight?” Sal asked as they broke apart.

“I mean, hopefully I won’t be gone that long…but yeah, please.”

“That cat hates everyone on the property,” Lucy muttered. “It barely tolerates you. Why do you keep feeding it?”

She…was not wrong. Animals as a rule tended to avoid vampires like the plague, and the old alley cat that had been hanging out under Tommy’s window at the coven house for the last two or three years was no exception. Except with Tommy. It didn’t seem to like him or anything, never let him pet it or even really get close to it…but it kept coming back. Perching on the ledge outside his window, prowling along the wall that encircled the coven property. The poor thing looked like it had been through several wars—one of its ears was mostly missing, and its coat was rough with age and hard living. Tommy kind of liked it. It seemed like a survivor, and he could admire that about a creature. He had vague memories of dogs when he’d been a human—not names, or appearances, or actual details…he just knew that at points in his human life there had been dogs around—and he thought he would probably enjoy having a pet. The wary alley cat that gulped the food he left on his windowsill every night down and then bounded off was as close as he could get.

“I like it,” he shrugged. “It almost let me stand next to it a few times this month.”

“Uh huh,” Lucy said doubtfully. She stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. “Be careful,” she ordered. “Call us as soon as you talk to Grant and Chimney.”

“Luce, I promise…if he tries anything, I’ll just jump out of the car. I’ll be able to get to cover before I catch fire.” Even Tommy couldn’t withstand direct sunlight, but he could last longer than most other vampires. ‘Longer’ here having the meaning of: a minute or two rather than mere seconds, but as fast as he was, he was confident he’d be able to get somewhere safe before he started to burn. Might have the mother of all sunburns for a few weeks, but it was nothing he hadn’t experienced before.

It was worth the risk if taking it made Evan trust him even a little bit.

And no, Tommy was not going to be examining that thought very closely at all.

A moment later, Evan came back down the stairs, still wary, still so tense—but no longer quite looking like he was expecting to end up on the wrong end of anyone’s fangs any moment. Tommy would take it.

They exited the apartment, and Sal and Lucy immediately peeled off from them, vanishing into the stairwell rather than make Evan crowd into the elevator with three vampires for ten floors. Considerate, really. He’d have to thank them later. Evan was silent, standing next to him and staring a hole in the mirrored surface of the elevator doors. After a moment, though, he glanced over at Tommy out of the corner of his eye.

“Are you…are you really almost a thousand years old?” he asked quietly, and immediately shifted slightly further away from him, as though worried that the question would anger him.

Tommy gave a slightly humorless chuckle. “Near as I can figure, about eight hundred and seventy-five. Maybe nine hundred—I’m a little fuzzy if some of the things I used to date myself were contemporary events or recent history.”

Evan’s mouth dropped open a little at that. “You don’t know?”

“How much do you remember from when you were five?” Tommy countered.

Evan’s face did something very, very complicated, a range of emotions flickering across his face so quickly that Tommy couldn’t even begin to parse them out. “I mean, not much, I guess.”

Choosing to ignore the odd reaction, Tommy shrugged one shoulder. “There you go. And that was what, seventeen, eighteen years ago? Multiply that by a few hundred. I barely remember being human…and I didn’t even learn to read and write until well after I was grown. The only calendars I dealt with were saint feast days.” It was an unusually honest answer. Evan was far from the first to ask him such questions…but Tommy usually shut them down quickly. He didn’t like looking back on the long line of his life, really. Especially the hazy, blank spaces where there should be memories.

Evan was staring at his reflection in the mirrored surface of the door, the fearful wariness that had been carved onto his face since he first woke up slowly morphing to curiosity. Instead of letting loose with another string of questions, though, he tilted his head thoughtfully. “That must be really hard,” he said, almost to himself.

Tommy was saved from answering when the elevator reached the parking garage, and the doors opened with a soft chime. Sal and Lucy were already waiting for them, leaning against the SUV they’d driven to the party last night. parked next to the somewhat battered blue Jeep Sal had managed to find at Gerrard’s.

Evan let out an unmistakable sigh of relief at the sight of the vehicle, and Tommy could feel the curiosity practically burning. Sure, his Camaro was his prized possession, and he loved working on it, driving it, just having it…but Evan didn’t really give off a “car guy” vibe, and the Jeep was just—a Jeep. No special bells and whistles, nothing limited edition. Tommy wondered what the impetus for the clear emotional attachment Evan had to the vehicle was.

“So, how’s this spell work?” Tommy asked curiously as they made their way over to the pair of vehicles. Evan glanced over at him before stepping between the Jeep and the SUV.

“Is this the, uh, the special glass?” he asked, running his hand lightly over the darkly tinted driver’s side window of Lucy’s SUV.

“Yeah,” Lucy replied, keeping a polite distance from the witch.

Evan just nodded, and flattened his palm against the window, then reached over to lay his other hand against the Jeep’s windshield. He took a deep breath, and then started speaking. Casting. As before, Tommy’s ears caught on the words spilling from Evan’s lips—the lilting, rhythmic cadence of them. He was sure the words were rooted in Latin, but it was no form of the language he was familiar with. The verb structure and pronunciation was odd…as if the language was being slanted just a bit to the left. He wondered if this was how Lucy and the rest of the coven felt when he, Sal, or Alonzo spoke in dialects or languages that were no longer in use.

As he chanted, the glass under Evan’s hands started to glow with a soft, white light. Evan’s magic gleamed even under the harsh fluorescent lighting of the parking garage, and Tommy swore he could feel the warmth of it in his own chest. The air around Evan seemed to crackle, the aura of power that all witches had becoming visible to Tommy’s senses as Evan used his magic. He blinked at the strength of it, the sheer weight of the power that swirled around the witch. To his knowledge, Tommy had never interacted with a banished witch, but this magic didn’t feel faded or like it was dying away. Sal’s eyebrows were climbing towards his hairline, and he shot Tommy a loaded look as Evan’s spell crested and the windows of the Jeep began to darken to the same degree as the SUV’s, black bleeding out from underneath Evan’s hands like ink spilling across a page.

After a few moments, Evan fell silent and slowly took his hands off the glass. The witch was breathing hard, a fine sheen of sweat on his forehead, but he stood tall as he turned to Tommy. “That’ll take a few minutes to settle…but we should be good to go after that,” he said.

Lucy let out a low whistle, impressed despite herself. “Damn. That would’ve been handy when we were upgrading everyone’s vehicles,” she said, more to herself than any of them. Then she shook her head. “All right. I’ll reach out to Marks and Mehta, and let Alonzo know what’s going on.” She leveled him with a sharp look. “You call me as soon as you’re done talking to Grant and Chimney,” she reiterated, and Tommy gave her a salute that was only slightly mocking. She glared at him a final time, and then gestured for Sal to get into the car.

“Be careful,” Sal said a final time, darting a slightly uneasy look between him and Evan.

“Always am,” Tommy replied, drawing a sarcastic snort from his friend.

“That is a flat lie, but I appreciate the sentiment I guess.” He and Lucy quickly climbed into the SUV, and Tommy stepped over to stand by the Jeep as they pulled out of the garage, leaving him and Evan alone once more.

He dug the keys Sal had handed over to him out of his pocket and tossed them to Evan, noting the same relieved expression on the witch’s face as he ran his thumb over the old, cracked leather of his keychain.

Well. Here went nothing.

Still screaming, crying, throwing up over this cover by @bornunderabluemoonbaby. Eeeeeeeeeee!

[laurenkmyers]

Summary:

a sweet little smut fic highlighting Chen Yi's possessiveness and the ensuing chaos of navigating his relationship with Ai Di. ao3

Chen Yi knows Ai Di is a jealous person.

Every instance where Boss rings and Chen Yi instinctually picks up on the first ring is always accompanied with Ai Di’s face screwing up as he mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like an insult thrown in his direction. But what Ai Di doesn’t realise is that it’s entirely reflex. If I ring, you pick up has been drilled into his life since he joined the Chen family. It’s not going to stop overnight, no matter how much Ai Di wishes it would.

But Chen Yi now at least understands why Ai Di acts this way. He understands a little too well what Ai Di’s jealousy looks like, a deep-rooted fear of abandonment and a life of yearning for something he never thought he’d ever get takes its toll. But Chen Yi does everything in his power to make up for the feelings he knows Ai Di tries and fails to hide from him.

What Chen Yi can’t seem to comprehend though is his own jealousy. He never thought of himself as a jealous man. A little possessive, maybe, but never jealous.

Recently, however, he seems to have pushed those limits to the brink. 

He always knew he hated Ai Di’s insistence on running that goddamn bar, and now that he owns it he’s there more often than he’s not, and that wouldn’t be an issue if Chen Yi wasn’t also hyperconscious of Ai Di’s history with the men who frequent his bar. 

Chen Yi was always privy to the way Ai Di slept around, even more aware of the way that used to feel like a punch to the gut each time he’d witness another man’s tongue in Ai Di’s mouth. But he never let himself think too deeply on why it made him feel that way, it was simply easier to brush it under the rug and let the knot unfurl in his stomach the moment Ai Di returned to him. Because he always did return. 

Ai Di never stayed the whole night at his hook ups, no matter what time of the night it was, he would always return home to Chen Yi, and the routine was always the same. He’d open Chen Yi’s bedroom door and linger for a moment before heading to his own room. 

On those kinds of evenings Chen Yi got into the habit of leaving his door ajar, though he never really knew why at the time, other than the thought of it bringing Ai Di a sense of comfort and that was usually his top priority. He now knows that it had become a comfort to him too, knowing his boy had come back to him. 

Now that Ai Di belongs to him in every way, it’s increasingly harder to ignore the way hungry eyes linger on his boy. Chen Yi knows Ai Di would never stray, and he also knows that the men Ai Di used to fool around with were just meaningless fucks to ease the pain of his yearning when Chen Yi was too stubborn to notice that Ai Di’s heart belonged to him from the very beginning. 

Thankfully, Chen Yi isn’t the asshole breaking Ai Di’s heart anymore, he’s the one who gets to look after it. And despite the fact he’s staked his claim with matching dog tags and the many additions to Ai Di’s rather impressive collection of collars, men still think they can look and occasionally touch what doesn’t belong to them. 

It drives Chen Yi to the point of literal insanity. 

Tonight is no different. 

When Chen Yi arrives at the bar just after 2am it's to a visual of Ai Di dancing next to some faceless man who can't seem to keep his goddamn hands to himself. Chen Yi’s immediate response to seeing another man’s hands on Ai Di, innocent or not, is normally to haul ass over there and pull Ai Di back where he belongs, but for some reason he’s rooted to the spot, watching the gentle grind of Ai Di’s hips as they sway to the beat of the song. Chen Yi is stuck, mesmerised by the way his boy moves his tiny body, the lazy smile that graces his face, the slow trace of his hands as they make their way over his head. 

Chen Yi may have been late in distinguishing his complicated feelings for the boss and the way they differ from the way he’d convinced himself he felt for Ai Di, but one thing that was never complicated was the way he always had his eyes on Ai Di. Never letting him sway too far away, and when it did inevitably reach a point where Ai Di slipped from his line of sight, he always made it everyone’s fucking business. Rounding up the troops to find Ai Di.

Now is no different, but the implications behind his possessive thoughts are much clearer and far less innocent than they once pretended to be. Especially in moments like this, as Chen Yi’s hungry eyes latch on to a single drop of sweat as it slides caressingly down Ai Di’s collared neck.

Chen Yi openly watches its descent until it eventually tucks itself neatly into the piece wrapped lovingly around Ai Di’s throat and when the fog finally settles at its destination Chen Yi’s entire body betrays him. His head fills with cotton and a choked breath escapes his lungs and forces it way out of his lips as the burning inferno inside him ramps up to its highest setting. 

He’s now aware only of the sweat dripping down his own neck in response and he can’t seem to tear his eyes away from the realisation that Ai Di is wearing his most recently acquired collar. 

The collar Chen Yi gifted him for their joint birthday. 

The collar that was meant to be worn only in the privacy of their bedroom. 

The collar with the words ‘Boss Chen Yi’ engraved into the heart of the leather. 

Chen Yi’s traitorous cock twitches painfully in his pants as he realises the implications of Ai Di’s choice in collar for this evening. 

The possessiveness claws at his insides like a feral beast. 

Chen Yi is fighting for his life. 

But all too suddenly the moment shifts, twisting into something ugly and dark as the brainless oaf, who’d been nothing but an afterthought in Chen Yi’s horned-up mind, decides to put his filthy lips on Ai Di’s body. 

And something inside Chen Yi snaps.

Desperation and possessive rage liquify the cotton into something brittle and jagged and suddenly all Chen Yi is able to process is the most painful way he can kill a man with his bare hands.  

With those thoughts in mind, Chen Yi storms the crowd of scantily clad boys and men, who part on instinct, the way prey scatters whilst being hunted in the wild, and it leaves his path so spectacularly clear that it’s a shock even to him how easy his target just became. 

The force of impact upon landing, plus Ai Di’s impulsive nature, already with half a retort in his mouth, forces the boy to swing round just in time to catch the full scope of Chen Yi’s rage as he pummels the pathetic excuse of a man to the ground. Chen Yi’s fist flies back and forth as blood splatters across his knuckles. 

Blinded by pure instinct alone, Chen Yi hears nothing over the sound of his fist connecting with soft flesh, and the satisfying crunch of bone. He pulls back one final time when other sounds pop back into the scope of his brain and halt him in his track.

Ai Di’s voice calling his name is all it takes for Chen Yi to stop, the rage slowly  dissipates and the world shifts back into focus. All he knows now is the fire in Ai Di’s eyes as he drags Chen Yi’s face to look at him and the soft words that follow, “Take me home.” 

Home, yeah, great fucking idea. 

Chen Yi doesn’t know how they make it out of the club or how they make it back to their bedroom, but what he does know is the taste of Ai Di on his tongue as he laps at the sweat still sitting beneath his collar before moving up to devour is boys mouth with teeth and tongue. 

“Christ, Chen Yi- what’s gotten into you?” Ai Di moans into the kiss, already half hard and desperate as he rips his lips away to bare his neck once more for Chen Yi’s needy tongue. 

Chen Yi can hardly focus on words when actions are a much more effective way of getting his point across, but he does manage to choke out a forceful ‘mine’ which has Ai Di grabbing his hair by the fistful and responding with a smug, “Yeah Boss, all yours.”

Which only furthers Chen Yi’s spiralling thoughts to consume and mark and bite as he drops to his knees, latches onto the neckline of Ai Di’s shirt and tears it clean in half. 

Ai Di huffs out his frustrations about his ruined shirt, but the throaty little whine he releases as Chen Yi bites down on his nipple masks any real threat in his voice. Chen Yi smirks around the bud as he feels the shudder run down Ai Di’s entire body. Chen Yi doesn’t stop, leaving his marks all over Ai Di’s chest, but working a particularly nasty twin pair along the collarbone and hip bone, his favourite places on Ai Di’s body. Only then does he pull back to admire his work. 

Ai Di is now fully hard in front of him, tenting in his pants and Chen Yi wants nothing more than to get his mouth back on his boy, so he does, mouthing hotly at the wet patch already forming on Ai Di’s red cargo pants before stripping him and getting his mouth where he really wants it, wrapped tightly around the head of Ai Di’s weeping cock. 

The sweet little noises and elongated utterances in english of ‘please’ and ‘fuck’ from Ai Di settle something dark in Chen Yi’s gut. He lets himself fall under Ai Di’s spell even further when he opens his throat and lets his boy take what he needs. Chen Yi chokes around a moan on a particularly deep thrust and when he surprises Ai Di with a soft caress across his neglected rim Ai Di’s legs buckle. 

Fully aware of the effect he’s having, Chen Yi pulls off and catches him before he hits the ground. Chen Yi never lets him fall.  

Ai Di barely notices the change as he’s hauled into Chen Yi’s arms and thrown down onto the bed. But the little shit does bare his neck again, purposefully bringing attention to the goddamn strip of leather that started all of this. 

“I see you like your new present.” Chen Yi smiles, tapping at his own throat like Ai Di isn’t aware of exactly what he’s talking about. 

“I do.” Ai Di purrs. “Shame it didn’t work though.” He pouts, thumbing the metal ring next to Chen Yi’s name and tugging it menacingly. “Men still think they have the right to touch me, Boss. What’re you gonna do about it? As hot as that display back at the bar was, you can’t beat them all to death.”  

Chen Yi growls and yanks Ai Di’s cargo pants and boxers clean off. 

“Watch me.” He says fiercely as he spreads Ai Di’s legs and tries to dive between them, but Ai Di’s reflexes have always been faster. He chuckles darkly and stops Chen Yi’s descent with a tiny, but powerful foot in the middle of his chest. 

“Ah ah ah- take it easy, Boss.”

Chen Yi tries to evade him, ignoring his plea as he goes to grab the leg attached to the foot currently halting him in his place, but as he does Ai Di launches him backwards with a forceful shove. 

“Before you touch me, I need something from you.” 

“Ai Di…” Chen Yi whines as he makes to step forward one more time, but Ai Di shuffles himself further up the bed out of reach. 

“Be good, Chen Yi.” He says as he settles himself on his knees amongst the mountain of pillows. “I’m yours, always have been. So I’m gonna need you to show me.” 

“What do you think I’m trying to do?” Chen Yi groans. 

“Not with your cock, Yi. I need you to own me. I need those men at the bar, and any man who dares to look in my direction from here on out to know, explicitly, who I belong to. The collars are pretty, but they aren’t enough.”

Chen Yi’s frustration at the truth behind Ai Di’s words burn him to his very core. He wants the same thing, but what more can he possibly do than kill every single man who tries to touch what belongs to him? 

“Tell me what you need.” He says darkly. 

Chen Yi watches through half-lidded eyes as Ai Di squirms, slowly pumping his tiny fist up and down his still spit-slicked cock. Impatient little thing thrusts into his own fist and sighs. But in his distraction Ai Di has pulled something shiny from behind his back and dangles it in front of himself. It takes a minute for Chen Yi to realise what it is he’s seeing, but when he does his eyes widen. 

“You want me to-?”

“-I want them to know, Chen Yi.” 

Ai Di attaches the metal leash onto the ring at the front of his collar and offers the other end in Chen Yi’s direction. “I need you to own me.” He repeats the sentiment from earlier. 

Chen Yi’s entire body burns with need. His hands tremble as he reaches out to grab the end of the leash being offered by his good boy. He yanks on it to test its strength and Ai Di lets out the most delicious sound that goes straight to his cock. 

“God, Ai Di- this is-”

“-what I want, Chen Yi.” 

Chen Yi nods in agreement and tugs once more on the leash. 

Ai Di’s eyes haze over as a result and he follows blindly, flopping forward onto his hands and knees and crawls, closing the remaining distance, and showing his appreciation by nuzzling his face against Chen Yi’s still covered cock. 

“Need you.” Ai Di sobs after lapping too long at the rapidly staining fabric. “Need your cock now.”

Chen Yi wraps the metal chain around his palm a few times to shorten the length and then uses its remaining rigidity to tug Ai Di away from his cock as he slowly bends to Ai Di’s level and whispers, “I’m gonna fuck you so good, baby.” 

Ai Di’s responding shiver sends him mad with lust. 

Chen Yi uses the leash to force Ai Di onto his knees in a deep arch, with his ass in the air. He takes a moment to watch as Ai Di sinks into the mattress, panting into the sheets as he uses both hands to present himself just for Chen Yi. 

The vision alone has Chen Yi biting his lip hard enough to taste the all too familiar metallic tang as blood fills his mouth. It shouldn’t, but it still shocks him sometimes how willing Ai Di is to bare himself so brazenly for him. 

He knows it’s his own goddamn fault, but it still irks him to think about the fact that he wasn’t the first, second, or even third person to have the privilege of making a home in Ai Di’s sweet little body, but what does bring a small iota of comfort is the knowledge that his boy has never submitted the way he does when he’s with Chen Yi. 

Ai Di has always been his feral kitten by nature; full of fire and violence and destruction, who only ever turns soft and sweet and submissive when he’s got Chen Yi’s cock buried in his ass. And that beautiful submission reveals the truth of Ai Di’s loyalty. Chen Yi is, and will always be, the only one who ever gets to see Ai Di this way. He won’t ever take it for granted again, and he’ll spend the rest of their lives together proving it. 

Chen Yi makes quick work of lubing up his fingers before trailing the tip of one against Ai Di’s fluttering hole. Ai Di arches further into the touch, hissing at him to ‘stop teasing and hurry the fuck up’. Ai Di never has to beg twice for anything. But because he’s being such an impatient little shit Chen Yi decides to show him who’s really in charge by yanking the leash harsher this time.

“Greedy boys get what I give them.” 

But despite his own authority, Chen Yi knows he never truly denies Ai Di anything anymore so without thinking too deeply into why that is he pushes one long digit all the way in, curling his finger with pinpoint accuracy right against Ai Di’s sweet spot. The responding cry tells him everything he needs to know to continue pumping with one, two, three fingers until Ai Di is a writhing mass of soft limbs beneath him, crying desperately into the mattress as Chen Yi forces him past the point of climax, toppling him straight into hysteria. 

As much as Chen Yi enjoys making an absolute mess of his boy, he hates not being able to see the ruin for himself, so with a practised ease he flips Ai Di onto his back and laps at the remaining liquid splattered across Ai Di’s torso with a deep hum of appreciation. Using Ai Di’s distraction he strips himself, and begins fisting his own cock a few times to try and calm the deep seated hunger he feels brewing in his belly. 

Still pumping his cock, Chen Yi watches carefully as Ai Di slowly makes his return to the surface with a soft smile and groggy eyes and when Ai Di blinks up at him in semi-awareness Chen Yi chuckles softly, releasing himself in favour of Ai Di’s attention and asks, “You back with me?” 

Only when Ai Di nods back does he then ask, “think you can take more?” with a soft pat against Ai Di’s ass. 

Ai Di scoffs, “One orgasm isn’t going to take me out. Barely felt it, actually.” The little shit giggles and then makes a grab for Chen Yi, pulling him flush between his spread legs until he’s using the new found, post-orgasm strength to switch their positions so that he’s now straddling Chen Yi, hovering menacingly over Chen Yi’s painfully neglected cock. 

“Think you can take me riding this thing,” he fists Chen Yi’s cock in his tiny hand and flicks the head over his slickened hole once before releasing him to grab the leash still attached to his neck and pushing it into Chen Yi’s open mouth, “while you choke me with that thing?” 

Chen Yi spits out the looped leather end and once again wraps the remaining metal chain tightly around his palm before he drags Ai Di’s lips onto his own. They both sink into the kiss, ripping into the core of one another as they lick and suck and bite and allow each other to take and take and take. The kiss leaves them both breathless and when they do have to pull away, they don’t go far, stealing breath from each other’s lungs as they pant into one another’s mouths. But the need is too great, and their magnetism pulls them back together again and again until Chen Yi uses the chain to haul Ai Di away, though it pains him to do so. But he’s literally on the precipice of release, and the fear of coming too soon brings him back to reality. 

“Fuck.” Chen Yi breathes, “Need a minute, Di. Don’t wanna come until I’m inside you.” 

Ai Di whines and impatiently grinds down on his cock, “Then get to it, Boss. Want you to fill me up.” 

Chen Yi  groans, burying his head in the crease of Ai Di’s neck and mumbles into his collarbone, “Stop saying shit like that or I’ll blow my load right now.” 

In moments like this Chen Yi has to hand it to Ai Di, when he wants something, there is no one in this fucking world that’s going to stop him. And so, without warning Ai Di pulls Chen Yi’s head out of his shoulder, arches his back, expertly reaches around to find Chen Yi’s cock and sinks down on it in one fell swoop. 

Chen Yi barely has time to process a single second of what’s just happened until he’s literally buried balls deep in Ai Di’s ass. And when his brain eventually catches up to his cock, he can only throw his head back and cry out in pure fucking bliss.  

“Jesus fucking christ, Ai Di!” Chen Yi bellows as Ai Di starts bouncing his perfect little ass up and down at a pace that would be considered psychotic to anyone other than Ai Di. 

The crazy fucking psychopath, giddy as ever, fucks himself on Chen Yi’s cock like it was made just for him and it forces Chen Yi to lie back and let him taketaketake until they’re both satisfied, but a small part of his brain reminds him that he knows Ai Di and the residing chaos that follows his boy sometimes needs to right kind of taming. 

With that knowledge he’s looping his finger into the metal ring of Ai Di’s collar and pulling. Hard. The immediate effect sends Ai Di hurtling toward subspace, his greedy hole doesn’t stop taking, but the bouncing slows into a dirty grind, which makes Chen Yi twitch inside him, but he’s focussed now, and he desperately wants Ai Di’s full submission.

“Good boy.” Chen Yi croons, “Taking me so well.” 

Ai Di swoons at the praise, but Chen Yi knows he’s not entirely in his own head right now, can see it in the way Ai Di’s eyes have lost focus, can feel it in the way his limbs have loosened, and all the tension in his shoulders, his thighs, his arms, have gone as he lets Chen Yi take full control of his pleasure. 

Chen Yi smiles in open adoration of the trust Ai Di has given him. “Gonna take care of you, Di. Give you what you need.” 

Though he doesn’t pull on the leash again, Chen Yi does fit his entire palm under the collar and gives Ai Di’s neck a squeeze, watching the way Ai Di falls completely under as his eyes roll back into his head. 

Chen Yi keeps a soft, but steady pace as he fucks up into his boy, angling himself until he hears incoherent babbles from Ai Di that let him know he’s hit his mark, and only when the noises reach a fever pitch does he flip the pair of them so he can begin thrusting brutally into Ai Di to bring him to the brink of his bodies pleasure. 

Well versed by now in the exact tone of Ai Di’s pleas when he’s close Chen Yi buries himself deeper, and squeezes a little bit harder until Ai Di’s eyes fly open. Chen Yi doesn’t dare stop, but he basks in the moment Ai Di topples head first into the abyss.  

It doesn’t take much for him to follow suit. The tight vice of Ai Di’s warmth sends him spiralling into his own. 

When Chen Yi regains the baser functions of his body and brain he lifts his head from Ai Di’s neck with a trail of soft kisses and lets the sweet words spill from his lips as he tries to coax Ai Di back up. 

“Come back to me, Di. Open your eyes, baby.” He whispers against Ai Di’s cheek, as he wipes away the tears that fell sometime during their peak. 

Eventually, the coaxing starts to take effect and Ai Di shifts, his breath evens out, and slowly his eyes flutter open. They’re still dopey and glazed, but there’s a sense of awareness creeping back in that makes Chen Yi beam with pride. 

“That’s it, baby. I’ve got you. You did so well.” 

Still unable to produce actual words, Ai Di hums his affections back, a sign that he’s almost fully resurfaced. 

Chen Yi stays inside Ai Di for as long as he can, having learnt from previous experience how vital it is to Ai Di in this vulnerable state to have Chen Yi as close as humanly possible. Because as much as they both know Chen Yi won’t ever leave, Ai Di’s brain, especially in this state of flux, likes to trick him into thinking he’s not worthy of love.

So Chen Yi stays- exactly where he belongs- for as long as he can. 

And when Ai Di finally returns, it’s with his usual sass and resuming chaos. 

“So, Boss, when are you going to parade me and my new leash around for all the boys to see.” 

Chen Yi wouldn’t have him any other way. 

[torialefay]

https://youtube.com/shorts/T550Vy5XcPI?si=V0y9B6uaJ2kj91FE

Ok, grass platform, this "you like me more" and recently "I can't fix all your problems" AFTER all his teasing and roleplays on bubble is his character development, trying to fix what he created since his early twenties, results if therapy, OR next stage of his shit because i honestly already can't be aware where I'm delusional and where not

okay in the clip... this man getting cocky 😭😭😂😂😂 the "you like me more" is so moody anr bitchy i love it. he's fed up w everyone baiting him and throwing this shit on him 😂

this may seem out of pocket, and i may be wrong, but he does seem kind of worn down a bit. like he kinda seems like he's got a lot on his plate & is getting fed up w people saying things to him. he's just a person & he can only do so much. like i'm genuinely hoping that all of this isn't putting him in a bad mood.

but people are right when they say that he's online & knows what stays say about him. and i'd be fucking exhausted if i had to handle what he goes through. i think he might be too. people expect the fucking impossible from him when he's literally just a person who happens to have a very vulnerable job.

like genuinely just imagine. in the span of a week, you get all of this shit from people who are supposed to be your fans: (1) from the video, someone baiting you to say you love them more, knowing damn well that they stalk your entire life. (2) someone asking you to literally fix ticket sales and complain to you that they're frustrated and have to travel to see you and that you aren't giving them enough attention in their country. (3) people telling you off for not being asleep when you literally are up at the ass crack of dawn bc you have to wake up FOR THEM and to give THEM content. (4) people yelling at you & boycotting you for not talking about a topic as big as a war. as much as i support palestine, do people genuinely think that chris can talk about that? genuinely? "well other idols have done it so why can't he?" like baby, he got chan's room (which he had been doing for what? 4 years?) taken from him simply for saying that some people were disrespectful. by talking about the war, he would not only be the headline in the media for weeks, but he would also be violating his contract. they already took chan's room so what's next? probably taking away his insta, taking away his insta/tiktok lives, severely limiting his bubble posts, and even more. he'd have to issue a fucking apology statement just like last time- they could even put him on hiatus for all we know. i will never understand how people don't see that. "well he shouldn't compromise his morals." in an idealistic world, that's true, but this shit is his livelihood. i don't want to sound pessimistic, but in the end, the outcome of the war is 100% political. we can & should raise money for people who need it and do what we can to help, but we are at a point in the world that the governments control absolutely everything. do you genuinely think that what we do & say matters to them? the government always wins. it's like people are expecting chris' statement to suddenly overturn the government or smth.

and here's the thing: if he did talk about it & jype ended up taking away all of his shit, then stays are just gonna complain EVEN more, start more drama, start saying to boycot jype, sending trucks to make the kids' lives hell, and just generally put everyone in a bad light from the outside view.

meanwhile, chris is literally working his ass off every single day to the point that his body and mind are probably on the brink of exhaustion. like what more can someone give? i'd be so fucking fed up. and the fact that he hasn't exploded on anyone yet is honestly admirable.

i'm so sorry that this has spiraled into my random thoughts & opinions. i guess it just breaks my heart to see so much unwarranted responsibility on one person. like chris said, "i can't fix all your problems,"... with a little smile afterwards, trying to save face. there's no way that man isn't exhausted & that it isn't affecting him mentally. i hope he can find refuge in the little things like taking care of & decorating his new dorm, cooking with innie, and enjoying some rest when he actually gets the time. he deserves it

[hiemaldesirae]

[sees radiostatic vampire! AU] arrax, my darling, my dearest...marry me lol

ANYHOW i would kill for poor vox finding himself trapped in a Renfield-esque situation with a powerful vampire because he’s just Too Fucking Pretty — lmfao, he Would. getting sick imagining demon! Al seeing what happened to his bestie/future wife and going ballistic, spending literal centuries trying to find a way to free vox’s soul from his sire with (I can imagine) the very limited contact he can make as a demon in the human world, committing All of the atrocities and playing his cards right with the upper echelon in the hopes that he can somehow gain a corporeal form again; meanwhile, poor vox is wallowing so deeply in his religious guilt and missing his friend and What Has My Life Become that he writes off all of Al’s attempts to communicate with him from the afterlife as hallucinations/fever dreams from one too many nights at the bar. He *is* confused as to why he’s imagining his dead best friend with deer antlers and an ATROCIOUS haircut, like What was in that scotch, but those moments are the few and far between in his monotonous and miserably prolonged existence that he milks it for all he can (aka Alastor definitely stuck around into the late hours of the evening possessing any radio/mirror/hapless human bartender in vox’s vicinity so that he could listen to his love rant about his boss while shit-faced, whispering softly as to guide Vox to good potential targets)

Thing is, though: I can see Wannabe Dracula noticing Al’s presence — maybe because something something freaky demon magic stuff, maybe because he notices that hopeful sparkle and pure adoration in those lovely eyes once more — and oh, he is pissed; you see, he’s been dangling the promise of somehow allowing his familiar the chance to see his beloved once more as long as he swears his eternal servitude and devotion to him for decades now (he’s lying through his teeth and vox knows it deep down, but can’t bring himself to admit it) and that smiling fuckface is trying to intrude on HIS plans, take away HIS precious pet? so, he starts to tighten his control on Vox: running him ragged to lure and fetch him his meals, never letting him get proper rest and nutrients, and only worsening the issues by draining him of his blood until he’s tethering on the brink of death — it’s gotten so bad to the point where the very few (secret) human friends Vox has managed to make in his increasingly rare moments of freedom assume he’s an anaemic trapped in an abusive relationship and try their damnedest to get him help. The thing is: Vox can’t even bring himself to fully hate his sire or his possessive actions because if he closes his eyes and let’s his mind wander, he can pretend those cold lips against his neck as Alastor’s, that all of this is *worth it* for Alastor, and by God, does he hate himself for it...

So when that one fateful night happens, when he feels those warm arms again around his waist, protecting him from the midnight chill, and that wonderful, mellifluous voice crooning in his ear, Vox can’t help himself. Once the shock settles, he weeps and throws weak punches at the smiling face he’s been dreaming about seeing again for so, so long. Alastor sees his beloved, weak, disheveled and pale, those lovely eyes bruised and hideous bitemarks blemishing fair skin that vox has been feebly trying to hide with turtlenecks, and he sees red. Oh, how he wishes so badly to tear that wretched vampire limb from limb with his bare hands and present Vox the still-beating heart to consume on a silver platter — but he’s forced to push those lovely thoughts to the back of his mind, for another day, as, with Vox’s “schedule” and Alastor only having limited use of his physical form for now, the two of them are living on borrowed time. So he settles for pulling Vox in close once his love has had his fill of sobbing/cursing him out, gently brushing his dark curls from his eyes as he kisses the tears away, relishing in the bitter taste.

Vox lets himself be guided away to safety in the shadows of a dark alleyway — ironically, much in the same way he would lure his own prey — as Alastor trails hungry, possessive kisses down his throat, roughly pinning his wrists against the wall and tracing the letters of his name along any blue vein he comes across, slicing his own wrist to feed the poor thing before *properly* for the first time in months. His master’s furious demands reduced to nothing more than an annoying insect’s buzz in his ears, Vox throws his head back and allows himself to truly enjoy the moment as Alastor growls into the crook of his neck, sharp teeth grazing sweet skin but not biting, not *yet*.

“He wants you, the pathetic fool, he *craves* you, but he’ll NEVER have you — not when *I* saw you first, my dear...”

hey mk wanna know a fun fact. about an hour or so after you sent this in yesterday i got a followup ask from arrax about the vampire radiostatic au. geniuses truly do think alike huh love that for you guys! let me officiate the (un)holy union :thumbsup:

ANYWAY..... your mind is truly so very powerful. the idea of al trying to reach vox in any way he can, travelling through radio frequencies or hacking into on-earth radio broadcasts / possessing people around vox to talk to him so that he can reassure him and make sure hes doing alright ...... URHGH they make me SICK . al fucking HATES seeing vox broken down and chained to a master who treats him in such a way and if he had more power he'd no doubt kill vox's vampire sire, but as it is the amount of power lucifer granted to him simply wasnt enough to even assume a fully corporeal form, much less take on an ancient vampiric lord

and the scene in the alleyway URGHDHD... i absolutely cannot with them they are SO disgustingly in love. in this scenario i feel like alastor would probably end up striking a deal with charlie to help her with her hotel, so long as she helps convince her father to help out vox. does it work? probably, actually. when he finally amasses enough power to tear the old bastard apart, though, the first thing he does is give part of that demonic energy to vox and guide him to kill his sire himself

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Roll for Persuasion

I'm back with more Shaw Mates group chats. And it's still literally nothing but crack. Enjoy!

CW: GN Listener characters (any gendered terms are purely used for the meme and should not be taken seriously), Cursing, Crack, Kind of suggestive because Angel can't stop

<< Previous -- Redacted Masterlist -- Next >>

Summary: Angel needs to be jailed, Baabe is an accomplice, Sweetheart has a masterplan, and Sam is barely surviving in this.

Taglist: @wib-was-here @4letteraroace @moon0o

Angel: i learned smthn togay

Baabe: to gay or not to gay that is the question.

Sweetheart: Is this an actually valuable lesson or do I need to call the morgue to prepare for your body to come in

Angel: ...

Angel: n e wayz

Angel: i learned that daveys bag is in fact not waterproof

Sweetheart: Oh my god what did you do

Baabe: howd you find out?

Angel: i spilled water in it

Baabe: water in his valentino white bag?! WAGAOUWAH

Angel: mm doesnt hit the same

Baabe: no it really doesnt.

Sweetheart: Youre fucked

Angel: ah ha ha chad lip bite

Sam: Put it in the dryer?

Angel: ...

Angel: oh

Baabe: i just banged my ankle.

Angel: oh my god why did u do that

Baabe: IM GONNA CHOKE YOU! IT WASNT ON PURPOSE

Angel: ehrfiuerhfr i just dont know why youd want to fuck your ankle

Baabe: i banged it against a cabinet corner! i bruised it. it hurt. i did not fuck my ankle whats wrong with you?

Angel: must be the lack of oxygen

Sweetheart: I just went through the drivethru like twelve times and left each time because i didnt want to talk to people

Baabe: omg thats so asher coded of you.

Sam: I promise it will be okay. You'll even get food.

Angel: you were comin and goin

Angel: kum and go

Angel: ejaculate and evacuate

Baabe: i hope you know that jesus sleeps in your hair every night.

Sweetheart: Peanut butter is an ointment fight me

Baabe: i want proof.

Sweetheart: Its thick and can be used as a protective coating

Angel: you know what else is thick and can be used as a protective coating

Angel: daveys

Sam: That's enough internet for Angel.

Sam: Lirc?

Sweetheart: If I remember correctly

Sam: What's that?

Baabe: acronym for iirc.

Sam: What's iirc?

Angel: if i remember correctly

Sam: Remember what?

Sweetheart: I am fearing for my life

Sam: Why?

Sweetheart: Im home alone and theres a single slice of cheese on the counter

Sweetheart: Just lying there

Sam: Oh dear?

Sweetheart: I DIDNT PUT THAT THERE AND AGGRO SURE AS HELL DIDNT

Angel: were in your walls

Baabe: feed us the cheese

Baabe: we crave it

Angel: c h e e s e

Angel: what uni did yall go to

Baabe: stanford. worst years of my life

Sweetheart: DAMN

Sam: Same as Sweetheart.

Sam: What about you, Angel?

Angel: i went to ugh

Sam: I don't recognize that acronym.

Baabe: AHHAHAHHAHAHA

Angel: university of giving head

Sam: Goodbye.

Angel: CATSUP BLAST

Sweetheart: This is why we need to destroy capitalism

Baabe: CATSUP BLAST

Sam: What the hell is Catsup Blast?

Angel:

Baabe:

Sweetheart: Unrelated but Im seeing a lot of 6 x Gabriel stuff

Baabe: not surprised.

Sam: Is this that "old man yaoi" Angel keeps talking about?

Angel: KAHFDSGHHJ

Sweetheart: Sometimes self care is watch an hour and a half video about the JFK assassination

Baabe: you might benefit from some therapy.

Sweetheart: Homestuck is for true warriors. Those who have been heartbroken so many time they dont know how to feel or see anymore. Homestuck is for those who have experienced true pain yet still push through knowing no matter how much they face Homestuck is by their side supporting them. Homestuck is the reason for so many differences in the world and is the reason outcasts and popular kids have one thing in common. Homestuck is for those who dont feel emotions as theyve lost the ability to feel them years ago when that flame died out because of childhood issues and now the only thing they have left to bring them the tiniest bit of inspiration is Homestuck. Homestuck is for kids that have no where to turn to, teens who are on the brink of killing off their family, and for adults who have lost complete control of their lives. Homestuck is badass. Homestuck has caused many wars and won all of them, Homestuck has no barriers and does not abide to any man nor woman nor god, homestuck is above god itself. Homestuck doesnt even have a concept of god inside its intellectual brain because it knows its the reason for every good, bad, and neutral thing to happen to mankind and thats what matters. Homestuck could be legally clarified as a bible. Homestuck is for the fainthearted and isnt for the sensitive types or the crybabies. Its for true motherfuckers who know where they are in life and what the fuck theyre doing with themselves. Of course you think its cringe but maybe youre just projecting onto the homestuck because you have never felt such power or control over your own life and need to belittle those who have something greater than power. They have homestuck. Homestuck fans are the type to find your exact location and multiple different closed off social medias because you dont have the same opinion as them. I suggest next time you know your place and keep your mouth shut. Homestuck isnt cringe and isnt for weak nerds like you

Baabe: fuck you im not reading all that.

Angel: all i asked was if you wanted pesto on your pasta or marinara omg calm down

Sam: What is Homestuck?

Baabe: i havent cleaned my kitchen for a month blegh

Sweetheart: If it isnt gross I think youre fine but if it is then clean your damn kitchen

Angel: HOLY SHIT a month??

Baabe: yeah theres twelve of them.

Angel: *leans on expensive buffalo* heyyy

Angel: *bugatti

Baabe: nope youve sealed your fate.

Sweetheart: Im gonna cook your buffalo.

Angel: LEVAE HERBERT ALONE

Sam: I'm done.

[adecila]

alice are you on a tumblr break? hope all is well 🫶🏻

Thank you for checking in, that's actually very sweet of you 🫶

I'm not necessarily on a tumblr break, it's sorta just happened as I'm more on a break from most things in my life if I'm being completely honest. Currently dealing with some high-level things at my job, so things are a bit insane right now. I'm working most weekends, and the rare off day I get, I just try to rest as much as I can. I'd take a screenshot of my Outlook calendar if it wasn't confidential because I literally have days where I'm just jumping from one meeting to another, with barely any time to eat my lunch (unless the lunch itself becomes a business lunch lmaooo). And the no-meeting days are for doing the "actual" work and catching up on the emails I couldn't read because of the meetings. It's gotten to a point where I feel like January was 8 weeks long 😩

If I get some me time, I usually just scroll through reels on Instagram. Everything else just feels like a lot of effort. It doesn't help that I've been pretty sick in December and January, so it feels like every other week I'm dealing with a cold, some sort of bug, or PMS/period.

I should be getting a bit of a break soon(ish). I can't say more since it doesn't depend on me alone (I was given 3 different dates so far lmao). But I know you're all eager for more FTC. I miss them too 🫠

So yeah... it's just impossible to do any writing at the moment. I'm really sorry for keeping y'all waiting. Trust me, I feel plenty of guilt and anxiety over it 🙃 No one feels worse about it than I do at this point.

Sorry for the long reply 😭. I finally got around to checking my tumblr notifications and your message made me realise I haven't posted/reblogged anything in a while. What is time even...

As I'm reading this back, it's giving corporate Barbie on the brink of burnout, but I have to say that it's actually the opposite. While it is pretty intense at time, it's pretty fucking amazing and exciting 😂 I really love my job, and what I'm doing now is a pretty rare opportunity so I feel very lucky to be part of this thing. I hope you can understand 🥹💖

[writer1queenjaysblog]

(Yandere Lo'ak head cannons 💙 Lo'ak has been obsessed with Sho'ree since they arrived at the island and with her being the youngest daughter of Tonowari and Ronal. Alright let's get it)

Aged up! Lo'ak 23 Sho'ree 21

Minors Do Not Enter! 🚫

When they met

•He was looking at her sister get out of the water he was in awe until he saw her. The youngest daughter of Tonowari and Ronal she looked beautiful and similar to Tsireya. He was head over heels I mean his heart beat skipped at least 2 times.

•This boy couldn't get his eyes off her as he sees her next to her older sister he saids hey only for her and her sister to giggle and smile. Yup she got him right in the heart! He's love struck and he begins to obsess over her.

Stalking/obsessive behavior

• He 👏 follows 👏 her 👏 like👏 a👏 puppy!! She teaches him the way of water and he loves it but only her he just wants her. He quickly picks her to teach him for the day and that's how their bond grew stronger.

•He would watch her all the day, follow her around, her beautiful face made him smile and he loves being around her wether he's close or afar.

He fought with Ao'nung because he confronted him on acting weird and staring at his little sister. Long story short she started having a crush on him when he defended her from a weirdo and that's how he got her.

•Would follow her in the water swimming close but not to close just a good distance watching her swim with the Tulkun and her spirit sister who she introduced him to after the fight with her brother. He knows everything about her that she didn't tell about but he doesn't let her know that she the blessing from Eywa that was sent to him in his crappy life.

Dating

• After stalking her to find out what she do and don't like he makes the perfect courting gift for her. A beautiful necklace for her and held her hand then asked "Sho'ree my love I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You've been there for me through thick and thin, the hard times and good times and I wanted to ask with the blessing od your parents will you be my mate?"

• She said yes and he was excited and overjoyed I mean over the moon. After they share their first kiss he goes to his new spirit brother who was a outcast but no more telling him about what happened. He tells his mom and dad and siblings Neteyam was happy for his little brother finally getting the woman of his dreams.

• Dates are swimming together, eating dinner together, holding hands while swimming or walking around in the beach talking about their day or future together. By them I mean him he's going in from talking about getting their on hut 🛖, getting married, planning for their first baby.

His face when he was planning their future: 😄😍

Sho'ree face when he mentioned babies: 😳😧

If someone tries to flirt with her

•Oh boy this guy sees red, red, RED! He wants to just stab him to death but he just remains calm to the best of his ability only for him to just straight sucker punch him when he said something offensive to her "So no man in this clan was enough for you you had to fuck a four fingered forest freak?!" He said and before his friend could defend her Lo'ak marched up to him and punched him to where blood was coming out.

•He pounded his face til blood came from his nose and mouth she tried to calm him down he hisses at him he looked like a different person to her. This was a different Lo'ak this wasn't her Lo'ak she looked scared of him.

Will definitely be aggressive to any guy that looks at her and will literally get into fights because of something they said to her or about her.

When she is afraid of him

•No no! This isn't he wanted! She's.. afraid of him? Her mate? He was saddened he didn't want his darling to be scared of him or afraid of him!

He would try to hold or hug her but she backed away with fear in her eyes he is on the brink of tears. "Yawne please.. please don't be scared of me please I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you." She grew distant from him which didn't mean things better.

"My pearl please don't leave me I'm sorry I did it for you because I love you babe please believe me!" "Don't leave me please I'm sorry I'll do better, I'll behave just please I don't know what I'll do if you leave!"

It saddens him to see her afraid of him he would try to hold her but she wouldn't do it he almost killed a guy and not only did he almost killed him he was acting crazy after that.

•Holds back tears try to have things the way it was. He wasn't as violent and aggressive as before but he still tried to take some guy's head off and she sees his dark eyes looking at them talking with this dark look on his face as if he wanted to kill that guy on the spot right then and there.

She would try to tell him he's her mate and no one else can have her causing him to smirk while holding her close to his chest

"That's right mama your body is mine and mine alone. No one and I mean No one can have you unless they want to be one with the spirit tree."

She's a little scared but doesn't tell him because he'll just tell her to not be afraid he's doing this because he loves her so much and doesn't want anyone to touch , look, mate, or flirt with her unless she wants her mother to heal half of the village.

NSFW Don't Enter if you're uncomfortable!

•Like to get rough with her because he loves the way her ass clap against him and her moans and screams as he goes deeper inside her feeling her wet slick opening grip him tight.

•Spanking is his favorite mostly because he's not only feeling her plump ass but leaving a mark his mark on her ass that'll tell all the men tha she's not only mated but that she's taken and his.

•Giving oral is the what their both good at. She's moan and squirting and creaming but he's also moaning and screaming gripping her hair as she sucks him off "Ahh yes ..yes mama ohh shit you like sucking on daddy's dick?"

"Ohh baby girl you sucking the soul out of me - ohh eywa!" With his mouth open and eyes rolled back in his head. As he was close "Ahh yes yes baby ohh fuck I'm - I'm cumming baby! I'm cumming mama!"

•He's not so bad with his tongue. He was making her scream and moan grabbing his hair.

He loves looking at her smirking while eating her out while having her pussy juices going down his chin to his chest "Mmm mama you taste so good baby girl I can't wait to go deep in this pussy."

•Railing her til she's a screaming moaning mess, shaking and trembling. He bit his lip thrusting faster inside her smacking her ass "Ahh fuck! Fuck mama I'ma cum deep inside you baby! I'm gonna cum deep you!"

He pulled her hair and gripped her ass "Ahh Lo'ak Lo'ak!! Ohh fuck Lo'ak I'm cumming daddy~!" His eyes flutter before rolling in the back of his head as his mouth was open moaning "Ohh fuck- Fuuuck Sho'ree baby I'm gonna put my babies inside your womb!"

"I fucking love you so much Lo'ak I love you so much ~!" "Ahh yes yes Fuuuck Sho'ree mama I'm cumming!"

He cum inside her shaking "Ahh FUCK Sho'ree!! Ahh fuck mamas!" He grip her ass smacking it "Ohh fuck tell me mama who pussy is this?" He whispered in her ear "Y-Yours Lo'ak my body and pussy is all yours Lo'ak."

When she catches him killing/covered in blood

• Sho'ree and Lo'ak were married finally his dream came true. Finally they were together until a fisher man tried to filter with her and said he could be a better mate and father for her and unborn baby she slapped him and went home angry.

Lo'ak found out and that was the last time that guy saw the light. Sho'ree was walking at night thinking about telling Lo'ak but before she could think about it she smelled blood she followed the smell to the forest.

•She sees the fisher man corpse he was dead with his neck cut open she was going to scream when she saw Lo'ak covered in blood he turned around seeing her "Lo'ak... what have you done?!" He stands there smiling as he walked closer to her "I took care of the problem my pearl no one is going to take you and my baby away from me..no one."

He said as he caressed her baby bump "Don't worry mama daddy's going to take care of you two."

The end!!! If you want me to do more of these then let me know if you want a request my requests for Avatar 1 and 2 are open!

[canyonkingdom]

you're all going to hell

prologue: everyone's suspecting

tw: swearing (excessive, excessive, swearing)

They weren’t the rescue team anymore.

They’re completely different.

Their eyes glowed red, cunning smiles on their metal frames. They were ready for absolute destruction.

“You will all pay.”

Nighttime fell in Broomstown. A once joyous, lively town now on the brink of collapsing. The Broomstown Rescue Team had been saving lives left and right, never getting even the slightest bit of time for themselves. The stupidity of the citizens began to rub off of them. 

She was annoyed, to say the least. But the important thing is, they liked her inventions. The citizens would clammer in happiness to the sight of the rescue team, nothing but good things came out of their mouths.

She didn’t understand why she had to be the one stuck in the drama.

The outskirts of town were beautiful. Houses and shops strewn on the streets legibly, the right amount of grass pinned to the decoration sides. People were laughing,

they were happy.

She could feel the glow in their eyes disappear when they set eyes on her. Now glowing with disdain, a unaffectionate red glistening over their pupils. She could see that red everywhere she went. Even buying bread could get her cold remarks from the baker. 

She hated it.

What did she do to deserve the cold treatment from her town? Where she grew up, grew to love, grew to create life changing robocars that has potentially changed the town forever. Appreciation was all she wanted. A little “thank you” would satisfy her so much, but she only got panned, hated, villainized.

She denied everything. You can’t be guilty for something you haven’t done. Yet, they didn’t even consider her opinion, they didn’t even listen. They still stuck to the lies. No matter how many times she assured them that it was a fake newspaper clipping, they were all unwilling to hear her side. 

Idiots.

She didn’t need them in her life. Her robocars have been building their foundation, but they don’t even acknowledge her. She didn’t steal them, those lying freaks. Her original creations were what kept the town afloat, and they have the nerve to say that she stole them? 

They really were idiots.

“Murderer.”

A person inside a blue mailvan murmured, quickly driving away as soon as his eyes set on her.

You’re not scared, are you?

"I came across THE murderer."

Posty's words made everyone in the post office lock eyes with him.

"R- really?" Cleany stammered. His eyes were beaming, hungry for gossip.

"Yes, really! I never lie about this shit, y'know?" Posty clinked, sorting out his hands through the new mail.

"You're an idiot. She's not a murderer, you fuck!" Cap corrected aggressively, sighing at the end. "She's a thief. Learn your gossip, man."

"I'm not wrong, Cap!" Posty jotted back, turning around to face Cap's overly cocky face. "You've seen that old newspaper. She was eight! She's a fucking menace! She is capable of killing us all-"

"No! Don't mention that!" Cleany shouted, his voice quivering. "I'm not taking a- any chances to be scared of the outside. I- I literally clean for a living."

"Yeah, we also work on the outside too." Posty said blatantly. “If she hadn’t created Poli and the gang, our mayor would’ve locked her up real quick.”

“She didn’t create the rescue team, for fuck’s sake! They were from another town!” Cap chided, standing up and looking at Posty’s soulless eyes. 

“Can you two just s- shut up?” Cleany spoke up, polishing a long unused flask from the far corner of the post office. “Whatever she i- is, we should probably avoid her. She m- might, y’know…”

“That’s what i’m trying to say! The mayor should’ve put her to jail sooner!” 

The construction site wasn’t free from gossip either.

“What?!” The team shouted in unison, completely shocked.

“Posty told me she’s the daughter of a war criminal!” Bruner’s gleeful voice plagued the site. “The genes run through the family!”

“Come on, dude,” Dump griped, rolling his eyes. “You actually believe Posty? He’s trying to get attention-”

Bruner shoved a newspaper clipping in Dump’s face. “Eat shit, big guy.” 

Everyone else hovered over Dump’s shoulder, in utter bewilderment of the news. “Leader of a famed war clan is blessed with a beautiful daughter- oh, shit. They have the exact same name!” Mickey’s voice chirped, hovering over Bruner’s overly joyous face and the article. 

“That’s the point!” Bruner said gleefully, enjoying the fact that he was correct once again. (He was always correct, though). “No wonder she stole from inventors and murdered them all, she got it from her dad.”

Dump shaked his head and slapped the clipping on Poke’s face, earning a terrifying glare from him. “I’m not believing this. How can you guys be so certain?”

“Yeah! It's probably edited or something." Max chimed in, still slightly confused. “Uh, what else is there to this confusing mess?”

Bruner sighed and clicked his tongue. “I don’t know man, but I know we should probably avoid her.

She’s a monster.”

The dock was also splattered with gossip.

“Lifty, I’ve been hearing about this woman for four straight years now, and she’s still the talk of town.” Terry leered, groaning against the cemented walls. 

“It’s not my fault, everyone’s practically keeping it alive!” Lifty chided hesitantly, giving a wry smile. “The whole stealing and murdering thing didn’t sit well for me. I’m just kind of worried she’s still around to-” Lifty took a breather. “-to skedaddle in town with all the drama pinned to her, i’m surprised no one has done an investigation-”

“They already investigated her, you twit.” Terry disparaged the young worker. “I heard she paid the authorities to shut up about that shit.” he added.

“Yeah!” Leky’s voice seeped in the cargo room. “It was like a million, I think?” 

“Can you not join in their gossip session?” Lefy asked nicely, trying very hard not to shout at his brother. "We have work, thank you."

“I would rather listen.” Lety added in, peeking through the room, smiling at the two inside.

“Come back here, you fuck.” a hand, presumably Lefy’s, pulled Lety’s hair, enticing a scream from the youngest Crane triplet. 

She felt rage encapsulate her body.

Whenever she heard their irritating voices spout out her name, her legacy, she felt something snap. She always kept it tied to an extent, but the string is to brittle to continue.

You're all gonna die.