#there is a 7 year age gap between him and oliver

[finduilasclln]

This fandom seems to have collectively decided to age Lou Ferrigno Jr by about 10 years and I’m… so confused by it??

[ariainstars]

How to Portray Real Love - and How Not to

Warning: long post.

Call Me by Your Name (2017)

To anyone who loves this movie:

I will not apologize for what I am going to write. It’s my own take, yes, but in my opinion all of this ought to be obvious to anyone watching the movie.

I will not refer to André Aciman’s book, not having read it.

I am Italian and I grew up in places like we see in the movie. I’m not denying that the way it’s shot and the general atmosphere are often gorgeous, but that was not sufficient to convince me that this movie is romantic, probably because I’m used to it.

What This is Not: Grooming / Sexual Predation

Reading up reactions to this movie, I have stumbled often over criticism about the age gap between the two protagonists. In my opinion this is beside the point: we are speaking of 7 years, not of a generational gap, and Oliver is still a student. Elio is mature for his age, and after some initial reticence, he approaches Oliver by himself over and over. His family knows and encourages (or at least doesn't oppose) them, and Elio has more than one opportunity to say no, which he doesn’t take.

Oliver is not a predator. He’s confused, but that’s not because he doesn't feel the attraction between himself and Elio: he simply doesn’t understand it.

Elephant in the room no. 1: Oliver is a bad person.

Oliver comes across as irreverent and self-absorbed. He does not respect boundaries, does not knock on doors, does not fit in with the lifestyle and customs of his hosts, only occasionally he does things that will make people think well of him. Early in their acquaintance he expects Elio to tell him what he is going on in his head but doesn't do the same in return (he never does, even later); his entire behaviour seems to be aimed at irritating and challenging his surroundings.

There is no depth in Oliver, no creativity, contrarily to Elio who already composes at age 17; somehow Oliver seems to know that he is the inferior one. At times he is downright offensive to Elio, for no reason at all, like he wasn’t a guest in their house. Oliver moves around in a foreign place like everybody owes him; he does not wonder, question, ask for explanations. He plays with Elio’s youthful insecurity, who is still hardly shaving and feels in the shadow of Oliver’s allegedly superior manliness. It is not surprising that to Elio he soon appears as some kind of handsome, unreachable prince.

Oliver is the kind of person who manages, on purpose or not, to convince the people around him that he is someone special, irresistible, and that being his friend or lover is a privilege. Elio falls for it, and Oliver picks the fruit of that attraction. Oliver does not love Elio because he does not love anyone, being too busy with thinking of himself.

At first Elio doesn’t like him; he notices that although Oliver never shows regard for anyone, he gets away with it. Elio’s family and friends fall for his self-assuredness and expect him to befriend Oliver. Piqued by the fact that Elio is the only person who is wary around him (with good reason!), Oliver repeatedly behaves in a way that frustrates Elio, repeatedly invading his private space, ignoring his limits, alternating insults with niceties, giving him attention one minute and completely ignoring him the next. And he never seems scheming picking at Elio’s insecurities whenever he gets a pass: it’s like second nature to him. He doesn’t do it because he loves Elio and doesn’t want to admit it, because he’s scared or something like that; he does it because he can, and because it works. He wants Elio to look up to him the way everybody does. After a while, the insecure Elio gets obsessed with wanting the older man’s approval.

Oliver starts a relationship with Elio knowing that the younger man has a girlfriend; he doesn’t even ask about her, whether Elio broke up with her etc. Oliver seems to believe that Elio owes him his undivided attention. By keeping their relationship a secret, Oliver makes the hapless Elio his accomplice. Even if he wanted to or if he would slowly begin to suspect that something's not right, he couldn’t talk to anyone about it. No one would believe him anyway, since everybody thinks the world of Oliver.

Oliver humiliates Elio, who by then is his lover, when he finds out about the peach: he laughs at him, not with him. (Why was Elio masturbating anyway, while he was in a sexual relationship?) When they are in Bergamo Oliver starts partying with random strangers on the street (with a woman!) when Elio is about to be sick: an observant lover would have noticed it before it was too late. Although they live under the same roof, he never sleeps in the same bed with him but gets up earlier, even when they are sharing a hotel room. He never tells Elio what is making him refrain from intimacy.

Oliver destroys Elio’s creativity by commenting negatively both on his composition and his impassioned love letter; we never see the young man making music or writing again. Shouldn’t a person in requited love feel inspired and happy and want to sing and play all day long? That he gives up on his interests already foreshadows the deep depression Elio is destined to fall into.

Viewers who love this movie like to argue that Oliver is so distant because he’s afraid of hurting Elio or shy because he’s in the closet. But it’s plain to see that Oliver knows exactly what he’s doing. He just doesn’t understand why because he’s not the kind of person who second-guesses himself. He’s controlling a power play with a younger man, probably because he doesn’t know how to have a genuine relationship with anyone. And Elio is too defenceless against him. When his mother comes to pick him up at the railway station and his voice breaks on the phone, it is obvious what a child Elio still is interiorly. He didn’t grow up through this relationship. He didn’t know what he was getting into and then had to pay the full price for another man’s egotism.

As the movie comes to a close, we can see that what he and Elio shared did hit Oliver harder than he had expected, but not enough for him to change, or only to reflect about it. Oliver is not aware of what he’s doing to Elio; to him everything is fun and games while to Elio it’s a life-changing experience.

Elephant in the room no. 2: Elio is not in love, he’s hooked.

Elio begins to imitate Oliver like a younger brother would do with the older - he smokes, wears a Jewish symbol on a chain, he has sex with Marzia only to prove a point because he knows Oliver had sex with Chiara. After a while, he gets obsessed with wanting the older man’s approval, for him to see him as an equal instead of an annoying boy he can either ignore or boss around.

Being both intellectual and highly sensitive, Elio believes that the more experienced and seemingly more mature Oliver must know the answers to life’s most burning questions; which Oliver doesn’t, as much as Elio wishes he would.

There isn’t the slightest sign of genuine love coming from Oliver; he only takes. Elio, being a giving, honest person, falls into a trap. Oliver has caught Elio and also half a dozen other people in his net, but he never had the slightest intention to put his roots down and actually like anyone back. Oliver’s attitude towards Elio is avoidant, but that is not because he wants to prevent him or himself from getting hurt; it’s because he doesn’t want to get attached and have to face the consequences.

In the scene where we first see Oliver interact with the family, he says at breakfast that he shouldn’t eat an egg because otherwise he’ll eat two, three, and more until they will have to roll him away. This already shows what kind of person Oliver is: he doesn’t know when to stop. Elio mistakenly believes that this lack of restrain, this want of limits is a sign of superior maturity and self-assuredness. He won’t realize to the last that in truth this attitude shows nothing short of a total lack of responsibility.

Elio says so to his father once: he does not play poker. Oliver is a poker player through and through. Despite the poetic request to “call him by his name”, Oliver remains shrouded in mystery. He does not change; while Elio wakes up, both sexually and emotionally.

There also is the symbolism: the dying fish gasping its least breath with eyes wide open (symbolizing Elio), the bronze statue, beautiful but cold and lifeless (symbolizing Oliver). The connection is made by the fact that both tokens come from the water.

All Oliver wanted and expected was to spend a good time in Italy with no strings attached. Which also is why we hardly see him working and studying, the way he’s supposed to. After all he did to Elio, his final revelation that he has a girlfriend and is about to marry her is only the coup de grâce.

Elephant in the room no. 3: Elio’s father is a fool.

I couldn’t bring myself to admire Elio’s father for what he said to his son, presumably wanting to comfort him: that “it had been a particularly beautiful thing between them”, and “he wished he would have made such an experience.”

How does he know what happened in detail? Does he know what is in these two young men’s hearts? Does he know about the humiliations Oliver inflicted on Elio? Probably not, but in any case, Oliver has given him no reason to believe that he’s a good person the way he claims.

We did not see father and son interact at all before this scene. All we learn is that both Elio’s parents expect their son to be nice to their guest and to befriend him, and that they don’t mind if there is more than friendship. We never learn whether Elio’s father loves him and cares for him (at least his mother shows affection from time to time). Imagine needing to have your entire world and happiness destroyed just so your father will finally give you some attention and kindness.

Elio’s father never changes his mind, even when he learns that Oliver is getting married. A caring, responsible father would have opened his son’s eyes about the fact that he was used and then discarded. I have no clue as to why any queer person would want their parent to do anything like that to them, leaving their heart open to bleed.

Add to this that he does not ask whether they used protection. The movie is set in 1983, and the first AIDS wave struck in 1981. Papa Perlman doesn’t seem to mind that his son might have caught a horrible, incurable disease, all that matters is that his son had sex with another male. Yay. (Maybe he believes in the adage that true love exists only between members of the same sex, who knows.)

I guess this little speech is meant to be politically correct. Woe if you dare to see the dysfunction in a relationship when it’s same-sex.

Elephant in the room no. 4: Elio did not need Oliver.

When we meet him, Elio is well-educated, living in a beautiful place where he also grew up, he has a supportive family, enough free time (they even have servants), he’s healthy and serene and he has a girlfriend. He’s intelligent, well-learned and creative.

When we last see him, he’s devastated, staring into the fire and crying for minutes on end.

Oliver is not “only” a sexual predator. He’s a textbook manipulator, the sexual part isn’t even what it’s about. Manipulators may want money, sex, attention from their victims or a combination of these, but what they always want is power. They rejoice in the knowledge that their prey is ready to do whatever they want at their command, that they can’t live without them, at least not happily. Oliver would have taken anything Elio gave him and crushed it, not just his sexuality. Just imagine the pain Elio must feel now every time someone says his own name, or when he goes to his “special place” by the creek! He can’t compose, play the guitar or write any more, because everything reminds him of Oliver. And all of the time, Oliver had the chance to either avoid a relationship with him or to let go once he had left him; but you need some basic common decency for that.

Oliver realized quickly that Elio, though younger, is much better than he is, healthier, smarter, more accomplished, more innocent, honest and kind-hearted. Oliver took all that, used it or destroyed it and left Elio in the shards of his former self, no longer in a position to enjoy the things and the people he used to love, tortured additionally by the knowledge that Oliver is about to marry someone else, i.e. that Elio apparently wasn’t good enough for him. Elio ends like a modern Pygmalion, crying about the fact that all of his love could not bring the object of his adoration to life; hence also the parallel between Oliver and the statue.

Elephant in the room no. 5: Elio is not gay, he’s bisexual. (Maybe.)

Elio has a girlfriend when we first meet him; it is also hinted at that before Marzia, he was with Chiara. No sign of a boyfriend anywhere. No sign even of some brotherly male friend to whom he might feel unconsciously attracted.

Elio enjoyed his first sexual experience with Marzia, we hear him cry out “That feels so good!” He then starts an affair with Oliver, but nothing suggests that he likes it any better. Yes, he keeps sleeping with him, not with her; but she didn’t manipulate him for weeks into believing that without her he would be missing out, the way Oliver did.

If Oliver was a woman of 24 years who would seduce Elio, dragging him away from his girlfriend, and then dumping him to marry another guy, everybody would call her a heartless bitch. In this case, Elio’s supposed sexual awakening supersedes everything else. Which is probably the main reason why so many viewers insist that there was nothing wrong and unhealthy between them. The relationship between Elio and Oliver can’t have been sick and dysfunctional, because Elio apparently “needed to realize that he's gay (or bi).” Never mind that he was traumatized for life.

In the end, Elio is alone; Oliver has left him for good, and he can’t go back to Marzia. Had Oliver not interfered Elio might have missed out a nuance on his sexuality, but he wouldn't have had his heart broken, and he would have a girlfriend who is a sweet and kind girl, never manipulates him and even offers him friendship and comfort after he dumped her for no reason (after having taken her virginity no less).

Part 6: Elio Always Had a Choice.

Elio wasn’t forced to do anything. He sought Oliver out repeatedly and never actively said “no” to him, except for his heart-wrenching protest during the infamous peach scene. Maybe he wants Oliver to single him out being a victim of his own vanity; however, his personality is not explored enough for the viewer to come to a fair conclusion. We mostly see him react to Oliver, not act on his own.

Since the focus of the movie is on the Elio / Oliver relationship, the landscape the story takes place in is idyllic, the music is beautiful etc., as a viewer one can easily assume that Elio chose Oliver of out “love”. Did he?

Obsession is not love. When feelings for another person are so strong that there seems to be no escape, it doesn’t mean they are soulmates, that it’s fate or anything like that. Healthy love is a choice; love only exists in freedom. When one partner (or both) is in mental chains, his mind revolving around the other, something is very wrong.

I already wrote that while his character is manipulative, Oliver is not an actual predator. If the victim has the chance to escape and does not take it, there is a large part of responsibility on the latter’s part, too. It is not enough to say that Elio is “only a teenager”. At seventeen, a person knows what they are doing and what they want. They may not be aware of the implications and the consequences, but Oliver and Elio’s parents didn’t know either, so it’s useless to say that age makes the difference.

Part 7: Culture Clash.

Italy and Elio’s family welcome Oliver with open arms; they let him live in their house, let him do whatever he wants, invite him to come back next year, encourage his feelings for Elio. Oliver never opens up. He does not speak about his thoughts; he never mentions that he has a girlfriend at home. Only in the end we learn that his family seems to be very bigoted. Which is of course awful, but as a viewer I couldn’t feel sorry for him. This is something that in all fairness he should have told Elio from the start, before playing fast and loose with a young man who was obviously smitten with him.

Oliver is a consumerist, diametrically opposed to the deep soul of Elio, a young man who grew up surrounded by nature, in a house and near cities that feel timeless. Oliver tells Elio once that his family had welcomed him like he was a son-in-law, but this only shows that Oliver has no clue about Italian mentality; else he would know that it is second nature to most Italians to be welcoming and to make acquaintances part of the family quickly. That he believes they did so specifically with him only reflects his arrogance.

On a side note: in Italy the paragraph against homosexuality fell in 1890, and this movie is set almost a century later. And Oliver was introduced to an elderly gay couple who are friends of the family, emphasizing that Elio’s family doesn’t have the slightest issue with same-sex relationships. So, we are not speaking of star-crossed lovers. Had he wanted to, Oliver could have moved to Italy leaving his bigoted background behind, finding both a better family and a partner who would do anything in his power to make him happy. But that would also have meant having to give up on something, and Oliver is not the kind of person who would accept any kind of sacrifice, not even for his own sake. He will rather see to it that the price for his choices is paid by someone else.

Part 8: Attitude Towards Females.

The way both Oliver and Elio treat the women in their lives is downright awful. Oliver flirts with Chiara and in return, Elio soon brags how he “almost had sex with Marzia”. It is clear enough that they only do it when the other is watching; they do not care about the girls, both only want to show off their sex lives.

Sex has no real value for Oliver; he tells Elio that he should better “try and fail with Marzia than not try at all”. He does not consider that having your first time and be in an actual relationship is serious stuff. It ought to be something two people do together, not a challenge of sorts.

Although with Marzia it’s the first time for both of them, Elio obviously does not care for her - he did not even recognize her voice on the phone and did not react when she told him she didn’t want to suffer because of him. His next thought is that he wants Oliver, not her. He even has sex with Marzia all the while watching the clock for the appointment at midnight Oliver gave him. (What for, anyway? Distraction? As a training object?) His obsession with Oliver makes him selfish and false. And Oliver has tied his invitation to another insult, “Grow up.” Elio is seventeen and he has sex with both a female and a male within the course of 24 hours. Why - out of pique, to prove Oliver that he is indeed grown-up and that he is not ‘too scared to do it’?

Oliver does not offer Elio or his family friendship; he does not even call or write a postcard from his home to let them know that he came back home safely. Ironically, it is Marzia who offers her friendship and comforts the heartbroken Elio, although she would have every reason to resent him. She is more mature and responsible than both Elio and Oliver although she is Elio’s age. Which makes his behaviour towards her only feel more unfair; but I guess viewers must expect her to accept that because what she and Elio shared was not the alleged “true love” he had with Oliver.

A few months after Oliver went back home, we learn that he is about to hurt the next person - a woman with whom he will start a loveless marriage. (We learn that he was in an on-off relationship with her for years, which fits the picture perfectly; Oliver would not want to miss out on anything.)

Elio’s father gives a monologue that reflects his marriage in an awful way: apparently it does not make him happy because it makes him feel like he missed out on the experience of “real love” (whatever he believes that is). His wife is a good person and a good mother and does not deserve to be dismissed like that.

Conclusion: This Is Not a Love Story.

There may be different ways of interpreting it, but this movie is not about love, i.e. honest, deep feelings and commitment for one another. It isn’t romantic or poetic or tragic. It’s about a lot of pain that could have been avoided.

Oliver is not a groomer who takes advantage of a younger and less experienced guy. If Elio was a few years older, Oliver would still be a bad person. Consider that no one seems to realize what an egotist he is, including the many adults he meets! Piqued by Elio’s resistance, Oliver would certainly still try to make a pass at Elio, except that if the latter was older, he would be more mature, and possibly also have, by now, a secure attachment with Marzia (or someone else). I do think that a relationship between a 17-year-old and a 24-year-old could work well, provided both are honest and loyal persons. What makes this story problematic is not grooming or sexual predation on Oliver’s part. It is the relationship itself between these two that is utterly dysfunctional; which is, I daresay, what actually makes so many viewers feel uneasy about it the way I did.

Real love looks different; it does not only leave pain and “what if”s behind. Oliver sweeps into a foreign family and culture like a storm, takes what he can, and after him the deluge. While Elio is changed for life, Oliver just runs off to the next best thing, still not ready to change, take responsibility, or at least apologize for having used a younger man for an affair before agreeing to a socially acceptable marriage with a woman.

The musical theme of the movie is “Mystery of Love”. Why? Fantasizing about someone you never really get to know because they never open up to you is not love. How can there be love without honesty, loyalty and trust? Elio never grows beyond the first phase of a romantic relationship where you still idealize the other, instead of seeing them for how they truly are. And Oliver doesn’t even reach that phase.

We are supposed to feel for Oliver and Elio them because they are “star crossed”; I can’t bring myself to do that. Oliver is too immature to be honest with Elio and to keep him at arm’s length to prevent him from hurt; while Elio is not grown and strong enough to stand up first for his own self-love, and then for his feelings for Oliver. He does not even confront him when he tells him he is about to get married (which also implies that he will not come back). Not for one moment seems Elio to realize that he was betrayed, used and dumped. Instead, he keeps believing that he missed out on something that could have been wonderful.

If you are in a problematic relationship, there are only two options: either you renounce because you don’t want to make the other unhappy, or you fight for your love. Nurturing false hopes, allowing love to make its way into the heart of a naïve, well-meaning young person and then let him fall like a hot potato is the last thing anyone ought to do. Oliver doesn’t trust anyone, while Elio’s trust in him, after his initial hesitation, is infinite.

When Oliver tells Elio on the phone that he forgot nothing, it only makes Elio suffer more. A mature, caring person could have told his former lover to get over him, and that he was grateful for the time passed together. There is not gratitude in Oliver’s words; he ties Elio to him again, knowing that the younger man would be his at the lift of a finger. During the phone call, he does not even have the politeness to ask how everybody is doing. As usual, it is all about him. Oliver may be the victim of his family’s bigotry, but I cannot bring myself to feel with someone who is so utterly selfish and irresponsible. At least now that it's clear that he’s not coming back, he should have the decency to let go.

It is certainly true - as Elio’s father said - that it’s better to accept one’s pain than to turn away from it. But: the easiest way to unhappiness is holding on to something (or someone) you can’t have, respectively that never existed in the first place. Elio never gets over his feelings and they make him suffer still decades later, proving that the brief happiness was not worth the pain. What Elio feels at the end is not the normal heartache everybody goes through after a break-up: he’s traumatized because his budding personality was crushed and he has nothing to hold on to or to look forward anymore.

I wonder why this movie is called a love story. There is mutual attraction, fascination, erotic tension, but all of this doesn’t add to love. I see no reason why anyone should love someone like Oliver, and I can’t understand why Oliver does not love Elio back, who shared everything he was with him.

This movie may be interesting, but in my opinion it’s not romantic at all and I see no reason to sigh and wax poetic about it like 95 % of the audience seems to. If anything, it’s a warning to not confuse obsession and idealization with actual caring.

I wonder why the LGBT+ community does not hate this movie.

I have often heard in conservative circles that gay men are supposedly straight until they meet someone who is older and experienced who seduces them and “makes them gay”. I always found this to be a narrow-minded prejudice, and thought that any queer person must find such an idea insulting to say the least. But this is exactly what is being portrayed here. And almost no viewer, queer or straight, seems to have the slightest problem with it. On the contrary, almost everybody gushes on how romantic this story is.

~ * ~ * ~ *

Red, White and Royal Blue (2023)

Of course, this is a modern fairy tale and it’s set in an alternative universe. Let me just point out the differences to the above-mentioned movie, and why this is a much more genuine portrayal of romantic love.

Since the story is about the son of a female US president who is running for her second term and the offspring of a conservative British peerage family, the conflict goes without saying; there is no wondering about what is making their relationship difficult.

Alex, once in a same-sex relationship, embraces his bisexuality wholeheartedly. He does not fall into a crisis and does not mess around with some girl. He knows that Henry is who he wants. It is abundantly clear that Henry is special for him because with him he’s head over heels in love, not because he’s the first guy he makes sexual experiences with.

In this movie there is also a cultural clash between a Texan American and a British peer, but there is nothing offensive about it; usually it’s just played for fun, like when Alex doesn’t know what a maypole is and Henry teases him about it.

How much wiser and more to the point is Ellen’s reaction: she simply tells her son that “such a relationship will define his life”. Yes, it’s kind of embarrassing that she asks him whether they used protection, but at least it shows that she cares for his safety.

Side note: all women in this movie are treated with respect, not looked down upon, used and discarded.

Alex does not make Henry feel bad about his accomplishments. He admires him playing polo, he loves listening to him when he plays the piano, although Alex can do neither.

When Henry comes to visit Alex in Texas, he adapts by wearing casual clothing, drinking, singing, playing, swimming. He’s just himself and there is nothing of his usual detachment about him, on the contrary, he obviously feels happy with the chance to just be a young man like any other. Compare this to Oliver’s attitude of haughty superiority in his host’s place, behaving like he was a prince everyone must look up to (which he isn’t, contrarily to Henry).

These men are both adults who know what they are doing; none shows off as being superior and they never come across as selfish and mean. Initially Henry is detached and stiff-necked, while Alex pettily takes offense at something that happened years earlier; but all of that quickly changes through the dynamics between them. The two young men open up, become more relaxed and much more themselves through being together. Since they started as rivals, they know each other’s faults and never for a moment fall into the trap of idealization. Their connection is much more genuine and intimate than Oliver’s and Elio’s although technically, they spend less time together.

Their relationship is also much more fun; Alex and Henry banter, tease one another and laugh a lot. Being in a long-distance relationship they write each other e-mails and texts, and they have conversations over the phone still when they’re barely friends. They talk about personal issues, they keep eye contact, their hands touch, they hug outside of sexual contact, they sleep in the same bed whenever they can. The power dynamics between them are healthy, and it is made abundantly clear that the basis for their relationship is honest, trusting friendship.

Shortly after having started an actual relationship with Henry, Alex plunges into his Texas campaign; he wants to use his influence as the president’s son to do good for other people. Henry’s philanthropic work and his overall influence inspire Alex to do more for his fellowmen, too.

When Henry panics and runs in the face of a declaration of love, Alex confronts him right away. Alex is willing to fight for his love. He „flies across an ocean and storms a f…ing palace“, in his words, to tell Henry he won’t give up on him.

As they say goodbye at the airport both gift one another what means most to them - ring and key. Alex until then never took his key chain off, not even when he was swimming or having sex. Alex’s last virtue is patience, yet he is willing to wait.

In the end the shy, introverted Henry says, “I will no longer be the prince of shame and secrets” finally confronting his worst fear, that his subjects may no longer like him.

Which is where we reach the bottom line.

„Real love“ is not defined by how deep, desperate and or romantic your feelings are.

Real love brings out what is best in a person, makes them better, stronger and more mature.

Red, White and Royal Blue is an actual, real and inspiring love story. Call Me by Your Name is a slap in the face.

[buckera]

Feels like a lot of people who hate on the age gap between Abby and Buck, now love the idea of a big age gap between Buck and Tommy, which is very telling... (especially since like you said, yes he was young, but Buck was really not a baby in s1 -the man was old enough to have been traveling a lot and be a barman in Peru lol).

it's kind of interesting how people react to either, but ofc we can't forget that the age of the actors and the age of the characters are slightly different, because where there is only about 7 years between Oliver and Lou, Connie is like 25 years older than Oliver, though her character was only 16 years older... it's a lot of math lmao

but if it was about a 42yo male character dating a 26yo female character, I feel like the pushback would be much less prominent... with Tommy, on one side I think it's just a desperate grasping for straws to find a legitimate reason to hate him when in most cases, it's just the fact that he's not Eddie.

and you know that's okay if that's what it is, but let's be real here; dating with a 10-12 year age gap when you're in your thirties is not a big deal at all.

and yeah Buck has plenty of life experience and in his own words he dated "at least 50 yoga instructors" so I dare to assume not all of them were his age.

if he doesn't care about that, why should we?

on the other side it's just the daddy kink I guess lmao

[bluepandastarfish]

Chocolate Cake And Blood Wine: Chapter 1

A Lady D x OC

Living in the village was difficult.

As children we were all taught by a few village elders who had seen many examples of Mother Miranda and her 'gifts' but also punishments to those who did not follow her. We were split into girls and boys up until our 12 year of education where we were sent to marry or work, the boys were taught to farm and support their family. While us girls were taught how to cook, clean and how to look after their future children. All the while we were told that children were to be seen and not heard.

At the end of every learning day we would be brought together to pray and offer gifts to Mother Miranda despite the fact that the majority of us had never seen the deity ourselves. The woman had only ever shown her face during festivals or the birthdays of the 4 lords (except the Lord Moreau because the smell he brought with him was far too much for anyone but the lords to bare.)

I remember one of Lady Dimitrescus birthdays in particular, although I cannot specifically remember her age, where the weather had been incredibly walm and so her daughter's could come to the village as well. I was only 7 at the time but I remember quite clearly that while Mother Miranda was, loudly, chastising the lady for being late for her own birthday I ran away from my mother.

 

"Andrea!" I can hear mother hiss at me as I run toward the cake stall. She'll never catch me though I'm far to fast for those silly heels she wears. She's so stupid- she says a proper lady does not run. Lucky for me I'm not a lady yet.

I slip through the gaps between villagers and I can almost taste the cake when I turn back to check if mother has decided to follow me and-

"OWWWWWW" a high pitched voice wines, I've tripped and taken someone down with me… a triumph! I clamber to my knees to see who I had knocked over; 'maybe it's Oliver he always wines like a baby'. Although I'm slightly disappointed to find a strange mess of ginger hair and golden eyes staring up at me from the floor.

The people around us begin to get louder and briskly walk away towards the platform that holds the lords as me and this… I don't acctualy know what it is, stare at each other.

"I've never seen golden eyes before" I whisper as I mean into her face and stare her in the eyes, some people would think it's weird but I just want to know how I can get pretty good eyes like this… thing. "Why are they that colour? What are you because I read all about eye colors and no one has golden ones! Oh my goodness are you a fairy? One of the library books said fairy have golden eyes! But where are your wings? Are you pretending to be a fairy?!"

Although I expected it to admit to being a fairy or a fairy impersonator instead it starts giggling and kicks it's legs a bit. That's so rude! I bet if I told this things mother about how it laughed at me it would get told off so bad!

"Your not supposed to giggle! Stupid fairy-thing!" The thing just put it's hand over it's mouth for a moment before seeming to calm down. It took it's hand off it's mouth but still held a bewildered smile as it studied me with its, very pretty, gold eyes.

"Sorry tiny maiden, I didn't mean to laugh at you. But you're very funny" it then sits up on it's knees as well and now is taller then me,I don't like that at all. I stand and cross my arms over my chest as I glare at the laughing fairy thing. " And I'm not a fairy, I am a regular little human like you!" Well I find that incredibly hard to believe!

"No you can't be. humans can't have golden eyes because if they did I would have gotten some for myself." Speaking of getting something for myself I look over it's shoulder at the now deserted cake stall the chocolate cake look so amazing! "Anyway you better go fairy thing because I've got a date with that chocolate cake over there!" I March past it and don't turn around to see what it does as I approach the holy sweetness that is chocolate cake.

I come to find however, that the cake man has put a glass cover over the cake. Stupid! I can't move the glass, I'll drop it and then I'll cut myself and then I'll bleed out and die and it will all be because of the silly man who decided to hide his cakes behind glass! I kick the side of the stall and huff as angry tears gather in my eyes.

This is completely unfair.

I feel a gloved hand on my shoulder and shrug it off as I huff again. " do you need help tiny maiden?" The same high pitched fairy voice questions. "I can use my magical fairy powers if you'd Like?" That instantly stops me from crying as I who around and face her with a big grin.

"I knew it!- I won't tell anyone don't worry! I'll even share my cake with you if you help me!" the fairy laughed slightly before pulling the glove off her hand in front of her face.

Suddenly her hand flew away and became lots of tiny bugs! My mouth opened as wide as it could but snapped shut quickly as I diddnt want to catch any of the fairy fly friends. The fairy looked up to the cake and narrowed her eyes like she was concentrating as I turned to watch the flys as well. All of the fly surrounded the bottom of the glass cover and slowly lifted it up off the table and next to it on the empty part of the stool.

The fly drifted back to her hand and became her hand again. Silence insured as she put her leather glove back on and stared at me waiting for my reaction, almost nervously.

"HOLY-" She covered my mouth with the hand that turned into fly and smiled widely using the other hand to being a finger to her lips telling me to be quiet. Normally I don't listen to people but I kinda owe this fairy for getting me the cake.

She removed her hand from my mouth and lowered her other back to her side as she leaned down to my level. "We've gotta be quiet tiny maiden, my mother has very good hearing and she might think something's going on if she hears shouting" This just raises even more questions that my tiny brain can't comprehend.

Instead of telling the fairy that I don't care if her mother can hear me, I just nod slowly and whisper "would you like some chocolate cake fairy?" She pushes her lips together and furrows her eyebrows a bit.

"Fairys can't eat chocolate tiny maiden." What can I give her in return now? I only have a chocolate cake to give her. "But don't worry I have an idea! How about you promise to be my friend forever instead?!" She was far to exited about that idea for my liking.

"I'm not so sure fairy" she looked quite upset now " forever is a very long time, I might have to check with my mother if that's alright first- oh but I can't I promised I wouldn't tell anyone! Oh no what-" she giggled softly breaking my speech.

"Don't over think it tiny maiden. How about we tell each other our names first! That's what friends do isn't it?" I stare blankly at her because don't really have many friends unless you count my chocolate cake, but I'm about to eat that and I don't think you're supposed to eat your friends. "Well my books say that they do so lets do that" she holds out her hand sideways down to me and straightens her back. "Hello human child, my name is Daniela and I would like to be your friend" after a moment of silence she waves her hand up and down a bit and tells me "now you have to do it back".

I sigh and she smiles as I place my hand in hers "hello Daniela , my name is Andrea and i accept your offer of being friends" I shake her hand slightly and smile a bit up at her. She grins at me and shakes my hand with much more enthusieasum, but then goes still and turns her head to the side.

She groans and looks down at me with a small smile still on her face "sorry tiny- Andrea but I need to go my sister is calling for me, can you get home by yourself or do you need to be at the celebration?" To be honest I think my mother will have given up on me by now so I just turn around and carefully take the chocolate cake in my arms before turning back to her But looking at my chocolate cake, mouth watering.

"No, should be ok I know my way back thank you Daniela" as I look up I see she is no longer standing in front of me- in fact she's nowhere around me when I turn my head. But I'm not worried because I have my delicious cake baby to eat, so I skip home to devour my stolen good.

 

I look back on that memory now and think how lucky I had been. Since I was taken up to the castle to work I have been told of Lady Danielas various mood swings. Although I probably shouldn't take the other girl's words for the truth, most of the maids are so scared that they make up ridiculous stories (like how lady dimitrescu supposedly sleeps hanging from the ceiling like a bat).

I have been working here for only a month and a half which is apparently the expectancy for most of us, according to Ioana who's been working here almost 30 years. She's about the only one who's nice to me apart from the wood chopping guy but he is never allowed inside- under penalty of death. So I don't get to talk to him much unless I'm picking something up from him, he does buy things I need from the duke from time to time which Is very much appreciated.

The Ladies themselves haven't really caused me any harm yet. I think the closest I got was when I was about to enter lady Cassandra's bedroom to rekindle the fire and another girl who had been cleaning ran out with half her face practically scratched off.

That was in my first week. After that I was pretty sure the head maid didn't like me because the other new girls did menial tasks or stayed out of sight of the ladies until their first month was over (while I was sent headfirst into Lady Cassandra's bedroom). This incident also made me become extra fearful to avoid being seen by any of the ladies which, now I think of it, may be the cause of them never harming me; they simply don't know I exist.

Anyway, tomorow is the day I have the worst jobs on my schedule:

 

Breakfast 6:30-7

Polish banisters in main hall

Change bedsheets in lady Bella's bedroom

Lunch 11:30-12:30

Clean maids bathrooms

Help prepare ladies dinner

Dinner 6-7

Curfew 7

 

It's never too difficult, the time management is the worst part. Most of the time I end up missing the majority of lunch because the banisters in the main hall never look quite clean enough, but that's fine I just have more food at dinner.

Tomorow will go as well as any other Wednesday has, I'm sure of it.

____________________________________

Part 2

[filthforfriends]

What would Icarus do if she ever found out Damiano was in love with her best friend? Would she be chill about it? Would she be horrified? Would her thoughts change when she actually sees how much her father and YN care about each other? Would she be grossed out if they were ever affectionate in public???

DILFiano largely came out of my evolving relationship with Call Me By Your Name. In 2018 that movie changed my entire world like nothing else has. I read the book in a single sitting…three times. My first ever “controversy” on here was condemning Lucrezia Petracca. She was 34 years old when she dated 17/18 year old Damiano. Of course I had to justify Elio and Oliver’s relationship to myself at ages 17 & 24. I wanted them to transcend the age gap.

At the time I wrote: “I'm never sure whether Call Me By Your Name is an epic story of fate and the sanctity of deep human connection or a warning about the life long damage of age gap relationships between children and adults. And it can't be both one is a form of abuse.”

Luca Guadagnino & cast marketed CMBYN as a love story, but fascinatingly the book never calls it love. Despite this, Elio is haunted by their affair for decades. So if love isn’t the powerful, driving then what is?

CMBYN may describe a once in a lifetime connection, but Andre Aciman wrote from Elio’s perspective. He’s an especially dramatic, but highly educated teenager with a sexual fixation on an adult man who he perceives as his intellectual equal. Oliver’s existence shatters Elio’s self concept as a heterosexual and he both lusts and loathes him for it. His perception of the world is distorted accordingly by Aciman. Factually, Elio and Oliver have known each other for 6 weeks and been intimate for 2. However Elio’s obsession consumes him and compels him to sexually peruse Oliver, who should resist but fails to. Maybe because Elio is beautiful, intelligent, compelling, and insistent enough that he can’t stop himself from giving in. Maybe his desperation soothes Oliver’s ego and he justifies it to himself. Either way, Oliver makes this toxic obsession material and cements himself in Elio’s mind.

It destroys Elio. Even though they’ve been casually hooking up for a <2 weeks, it feels like losing his soulmate because he’s 17. It’s a painful irony by Aciman: Oliver worries about messing him up the entire book then does. Elio thinks they have a transcendent connection, but he’s just emotionally stunted by having a sexual relationship with an man 7 years older.

In a way, y/n is Elio. She hasn’t been groomed. She’s the aggressor. But in my story she’s also a consenting adult. But does that mean her sexual fixation doesn’t distort her perception? No. Is it okay?

[hakuoyuki]

Hello uhm can i ask u the age of ikemen revolution boys? Thank you

Hello〜! Sure :)

These are the confirmed ages from youngest to oldest.

(Child) Oliver - Appearance age 13 years old. (Adult form appearance age implied to be in his 20s. Actual age implied to be over 30. More details on his age under the cut due to route spoilers)

Loki - 19 years old

Zero - 23 years old

Kyle - 23 years old

Fenrir - 24 years old

Ray - 24 years old

Luka - 25 years old

Edgar - 25 years old

Seth - 26 years old

Harr - 27 years old

Jonah - 27 years old

Mousse - 27 years old

Lancelot - 29 years old

Sirius - 30 years old

Dalim - 30-31 years old (Younger than Dean) (More details on under the cut due to various spoilers)

Dean - 30-31 years old (Older than Dalim) (More details on under the cut due to various spoilers)

Levie - At least 100 years old

Blanc - X centuries years old (confirmed to be older than Levie)

.

.

[Major Oliver and Dalim route spoilers under the cut]

Oliver - In Oliver's route it was revealed that after the time reversal magic was casted on his body on the day he arrived at Cradle but his body negated it, his body has stopped aging... By the end of the day, through his form switching, his body reverts to the state it was on the day he arrived at Cradle.

ー

Tweedles - As much as they deny being "twins", they are. Which means the calculation for their ages apply to both of them. In addition, IkeRev's 4th election story (feat. Jonah, Luka, Sirius, and Dalim) implied Dalim to be "the younger sibling" because "someone" acts like "the older sibling" with him just like Sirius acts.

Dalim route confirms Dalim to be the younger twin.

In addition, IkeRev TW fanbook had Zero spilling some teas on Dean. In TW fanbook, Zero said back when he was studying at the boarding school, Dean was a university student but he often came to help teach at the boarding school.

Zero started the boarding school when he was 14, he is now 23. While Sirius is now 30. This age gap of 7 years is a crucial indicator because Dean was apparently also teaching at the boarding school while Sirius, Harr, and Lancelot were a student there. It was confirmed in Dalim’s route that Dean was still a teaching assistant (TA) back when he taught Harr and not yet a full time teacher.

University students are 18-22 years old.

Max age university student age - Zero's youngest age when he started boarding school = 22 - 14 = 8 years gap

Min age university student age - Zero's youngest age when he started boarding school = 18 - 14 = 4 years gap

So the oldest Tweedles probably is = Zero's current age + 8 = 23 + 8 = 31 years old

While the youngest Tweedles could be is = Zero's current age + 4 = 23 + 4 = 27 years old (same age as Harr. But Harr said Dalim is older than him so we can safely remove this from the option)

Further more, Dean taught Sirius.

Dean could be 18-19 (the youngest a university student working part-time/intern as a teacher/TA could be) when he was teaching Sirius (17-18), Lancelot (16-17), and Harr (14-15).

Considering this, and the calculation from earlier, the age gap assuming Dean started teaching Sirius (17) when he was 18, and by the time Zero entered the boarding school 4 years later (14) Dean is still in university (22)... everything aligned.

Thus, it is highly likely that the Tweedles are both 31 years old (with Dalim confirmed in his route to be the younger twin).

Additionally, Dalim’s route confirmed that the twins were separated in the year that they turned 13, after Dalim’s innate magic power was discovered, and later Dalim got the magic tower tattoo. Dean on the other hand, had his memories from the time he was 13 and younger completely erased by their parents. The experiments on Dalim by the magic tower then began 17 years ago. Thus confirming that the Tweedles are presently at least 30 years old (either 30 almost turning 31 or 31 something due to the unknown gap between the twins being separated and the experiments starting).

[incorrectbatfam]

I'm in a mood™ so i was wondering if you had any hcs of the batkids growing up together? (babydamibabydami)

I've done this before in this ask but I'm more than happy to add on!

(Also screw canon age gaps, I'm doing what feels right.)

Bruce, Talia, and Selina are all co-parents in a poly relationship

Duke likes to finger paint

Babs got a used accordion for fifteen bucks at a garage sale

Damian's first "real" food was Talia's rice pudding

Wayne Enterprises has an entire floor dedicated to looking after not just Bruce's, but all the employees' children. Carrie declared herself the "Queen of the Fourth Floor"

At one point Tim was getting bullied so Dick drove Cass, Jason, Harper, and Cullen to the bully's house in the middle of the night and the five of them stood outside their window with plague doctor masks chanting in Latin until the bully swore to lay off

Just like how Damian's first word was Jason's name, Damian's first steps were toward Jason after a bad day at school

Dick is lowkey jealous knowing he's not Damian's favorite sibling

Steph and Duke made a go-kart out of a red wagon, and that's how there's a Duke-shaped hole in the fence

Cass owns fifty water bottles but uses the same one every day

Bruce chaperoned Dick's junior prom

Selina gets each kid a cat on their birthday

Babs came to class late with coffee one time and the entire class now calls her the "Starbucks white girl"

There's an under-the-table vegetable swapping system at dinner, where the kids trade out the ones they don't like for the ones they do. The ones nobody wants are mashed up and given to Damian

Carrie is the champion nose-picker

Steph and Duke were born just a few hours apart at different hospitals, and are therefore known as the twins

Tim is not allowed to use chopsticks. Not even the little kiddie ones

Cullen once brought an entire head of lettuce to school as lunch

Bruce plays classical music around Damian, but Jason counteracts it with trashy punk rock

Bruce: "Studies say it helps babies grow intellectually"

Jason: "He's not supposed to grow, he's supposed to be our baby brother"

Duke likes cherry tomatoes over regular tomatoes because they're colorful

Harper got her motorcycle license before her driver's license (thanks to Kate)

Dick slices his string cheese. Wally bites into his. Babs is horrified by both

Nobody remembers the last time Bruce Wayne was seen not wearing a baby carrier

When Duke eats salads, he imagines he's a giant consuming an entire land (and the olives are people)

There's a five-year gap between Jason (age 12) and Tim (age 7). The reason is since Bruce adopted them in birth order when they were babies, he planned to stop at five kids, but then Jason got irrationally angry about being the youngest so Bruce got Tim and it all spiraled from there

Harper once melted an entire stick of butter and convinced Cullen to drink it

Dick once tried to sell Jason on eBay

Damian is very territorial. Nobody can touch his stuffed animals—even for washing—unless he gives them explicit permission

Tim once tried a cheese taste test with Damian, and that's how they learn Damian is lactose intolerant

Harper once bought thirty pounds of beef jerky online (she accidentally typed a 0 after the 3)

Talia helps Jason with Arabic homework

Damian produces the stinkiest farts

All WE employees get six months paid maternity/paternity leave

Tim and Kon got "married" on the playground with Jason as the officiant, Steph as the flower girl, and Duke as a ring bear (he dressed up as a bear and brought Ring Pops)

Steph and Duke are kept on child leashes when they go to the amusement park because they keep trying to get on rollercoasters they're too short for

Jason's also kept on a child leash, but that's because he tried to take the head off every costumed mascot at Disneyland

Even though the ingredients are the same, Dick inexplicably makes PB&Js better than everyone else

Kate can clear ten hot wings in sixty seconds

Bruce has appeared on the cover of more parenting and family magazines than celebrity and business ones combined

Instead of using her skills to hurt people, Talia uses them to protect her newfound family

Alfred secretly joined a senior citizens book club to brag about his grandchildren

Someone once said to Selina, "You know he's always gonna pay attention to kid kids first, right?" To which she replied, "I wouldn't have picked him if he didn't"

[liesoverthec]

I don't know if you've paid any attention to this but do you know the official ages of the main characters? You've always paid attention to little details so i feel like you'd be the right person to ask this to.

Hi anon! ❤️ I’m SO SO sorry this took so long!

I appreciate you thinking of me for this - I have in fact paid attention to this 😂 I know about the general age of some characters, and I know within a year of others (depending on when their birthday is they may have aged up already!)

Bobby - 54. He says in the pilot that he’s 50 years old, and so you figure he’s at least 54 by now, if not 55 if his birthday was between January (when the pilot aired) and now!

Athena - mid 50s. In Athena Begins, I feel like it’s safe to assume she’s around 22 or 23, since she’s in law school but not close to finishing (and I really don’t think she took a gap year), and that was 1989, so she was *probably* born around 1966-67. Which would put her around 54-55 right now, which fits with how old Bobby is!

Hen - 41. She says in Future Tense that she joined med school at 40 (if she’s not rounding for dramatics). Since she got into med school last year in the s3 finale, I’d say 41 now. If she did just say 40 bc it was easy, I’d still say she’s between 39-42 now, bc she’d have to be close in age to 40 to round so automatically like that imo. But at this point I’m going with a simple 41.

Chim - Late 30s to early, early 40s. Chim is one of the two I really don’t have a good idea on. Chimney Begins is set in 2005, and he’s at least 21, since we see him drinking beer in that episode. So he was born sometime before 1984, which would make him 36 right now if he was exactly 21 then, but I think he’s a little older than that, since he’s been working in the bar for a while before the fire. I can’t remember any other details that would give him a more specific age, so if someone does and can provide them I would love to add them! Personally I’d say 39-40, bc I think he’s a little older than Maddie but not by much. I can say however that he has a March birthday! EDIT - thanks to the wonderful @shannon-diaz who remembered that we see Chim’s birthday on his license in 2x10 (you can see the pic provided in the notes!) HOWEVER! I want to make a disclaimer (which I would like to emphasize is not me trying to argue against the lovely Ann at all, she’s absolutely right about this, I just wanna say this) - they have already been changing Chim’s birthday since then, since the license says 10/20/1977 and they’ve since moved his birthday to March. So it’s absolutely possible that they’ve decided to change his age as well. BUT! At the point this was shown, they’d already committed to Madney becoming a thing, so it’s likely they thought about how old Maddie and Chim were in relation to one another. What I don’t know is if they thought about Maddie’s age before then, or if they put it off until they had to during the Daniel arc. All of this is to say - right now, as of end of s4, the best info we have says Chim is 44. But I could also absolutely see the writers pulling a switcharoo on the poor props crew and changing his age, since they’ve already discarded the birth date. So I say, go forth and know that Chim is 44! But also please don’t get mad at me if that information changes in the future 😂

Buck - 29. During the entire Buck Begins arc, they say multiple times that the family has been hiding a secret from him for 29 years, etc etc. In the Valentine’s Day ep in s1, Abby says Buck is 26. And in Kids Today (the opener to s3) Maddie specifically mentions he’s 28. So I’m most sure about Buck, out of everyone, esp since Oliver himself is 29. I think he’s the character where they’re sticking closest to the actor’s actual age.

Maddie - around 37. We know Maddie was 9 when Daniel died (Chim says she made the promise to not talk about Daniel when she was 9). Since Daniel died a little over a year after Buck was born, that puts Maddie around 8 at the time Buck was born, making her 37 to Buck’s 29 as of right now. Also, in ep 4 of s4, her mom mentions her being a “high risk pregnancy” since she’s over 35, but specifically does not say she’s over 40. So 37 or 38 for her. (Side note - Maddie is older than Daniel by between 1.5 to 2 years, since she says Daniel died when he was 7.) like I said, I’m most positive about Buck’s age but Maddie’s is a close second.

Eddie - early 30s? I also have no idea about him. My personal best guess would be 33, since that’s how old Ryan Guzman is now, and they’ve never in my recollection said anything to indicate a different age for him! (Same thing here as goes for Chim - if anyone can remember something let me know!) Note - I’ve been thinking on this a while and I actually feel pretty good about 31-33. We know Chris was born in 2011, so he’s turning 10 sometime soon, and that would make Eddie somewhere between 21-23 when he was born, which I feel fits with a timeline of him taking time to work with his dad after high school, and then joining the army, doing basic, and getting deployed all in time to get leave for Christopher’s birth.

And there’s all 7 mains! I’m going to link this in a bullet point in the next character details post, so if anyone wants to add information for Chim or Eddie (preferably with an episode number and/or scene so that I can verify it), I’ll edit this post and give you credit, so that way when I link this post, people will be able to see it all in one place, and the edits w credit will be in the tag for everyone to see!

Also all of these ages are as of right now, end of s4. If you want to write future fic or fic for a past season you’ll want to add or subtract years accordingly!

Thanks for the question, anon - putting together the “age puzzle” is like my favorite kind of challenge!

🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝

[shioririn]

Beautiful in White | Iwaizumi Hajime

Iwaizumi Hajime had always thought that the color white looks best on you.

Having met you when he was 7 - and you, 5 - it was what he could now proudly admit that it was the best thing that could happen to him. The memory of you approaching Oikawa and himself all shyly at the park that he’d often spend time hunting stag beetles is one that he would never trade for anything in the world, for the way you carried yourself with such purity and innocence was a sight of its own.

The next time memory he treasures is that of the time when you wore a white floral dress, a sloppily made flower crown sitting atop your head, as you attempted to say his name for the first time. With the slightly complicated syllables in his name, you naturally had a hard time pronouncing it correctly, a childish “Iwaichumi” escaping your lips as your brows furrowed in concentration, tiny hands clutching onto the hem of your dress.

And while he’d corrected you, you never did get it right, resorting the mispronunciation of his name sticking around as a nickname for the next three years. Had it been anyone else but you calling him that, his expression would immediately scrunch up at the unfamiliarity, for the name itself has become one reserved for you alone, and to hear it from another person simply is unfamiliar, foreign. 

At age 11, Iwaizumi declared that he wanted to protect you. But with his weak arms, he knew that it wouldn’t be enough so he made sure that he would do his best as such that he’d be strong enough for you to rely on him. No longer would you have to cry alone like you used to, for he’d make sure that there’s always a place for you to return to when you felt as if the whole world is against you, a shoulder strong enough to carry the weight that you’ve been burdened to carry since birth, and arms safe enough to catch you when you fall.

Just so he could see your carefree smile one more time.

At age 17, he knew that his love for you is endless. You’d became someone so dear to him that just the mere thought of losing you had his chest constricting impossibly tight, so he made the promise to make you the happiest girl in the world. And he delivered the best he could.

The hands that enclosed yours never felt so safe, so warm, that you couldn’t have asked for a better boyfriend. What the both of you shares is timeless, a love so strong it could move mountains, floating in a sea of serenity, with nothing but strong faith and simplicity holding it up. Your love for him is one and the same as what you are - sincere and perfect - much like the color that you adore. 

At age 20, he broke his own promise. Not only did he fail to stop the same bitter tears from escaping your eyes, but he’d also been the same person that tainted the white canvas. And despite wanting to hold you in his arms to console you, he knew he’d lost the right to do so. 

Watching you let go of the hands that you once sought comfort from, Hajime could feel the acid in his stomach, burning away at his insides, but nothing pained him more than the look of utter defeat you’d left him as your presence in his life faded into nothing. 

From then on, the color white would never mean the same to him ever again. With nothing but cold isolation surrounding the same color he once revered, Hajime wasn’t sure if there would be a day where he’d fall in love with it once more, as he had never felt such emptiness before. 

At age 23, he saw you again. Now working as an elementary school teacher alongside Sugawara Koushi, still looking as beautiful as you did when he last saw you, a thousand emotions flooding him at once, sending his mind into a blank slate. When you offered him one of your sweet smiles, he knew that you’ve all but forgiven him for the past. When you cupped your dainty hands on his face, it only assured him that you’re willing to take another step forward towards a new beginning - together. 

This time, he promised to never let you go as easily.

18 years later - today - he saw you in white once more. But instead of the childish innocence that you once held, you now dawned a different light - one of maturity and humility. 

Red rose petals rained down on you with each step that you took, a long satin train trailing behind as the diamonds on your gown glistened with the refracted light from large panels of stained glass, basking you in a glow that almost seemed ethereal. And as his olive green orbs met with yours, he no longer saw the doubt that used to be there, only certainty and hope for a future you’ve always dreamt of.

In the very moment that you’d finally closed the gap between each other, he was reminded of the first time he met you. Reenacting a similar scene, but this time as two people who found meaning in each other. You are his reason to keep protecting, and him, your reason to keep believing. 

With all his heart he mean every word, sealing the new promise of cherishing you for as long as you live.

You truly do look beautiful in white.

[ellie-e-marcovitz]

Profile: Jacob Marcovitz

Full name: Jacob Gareth Marcovitz

Nicknames: Jay, Gar, JG

Male

He/him

Age: 20s [now: 54]

Birthday: 4 May 1967

Born: Northrup House, Keswick, Cumbria 

Zodiac: Taurus

Ethnicity/Nationality: American-European mutt/Anglo-American

Blood Status: Half-blood/Pureblood

Straight

Residence: Aldershot, Hampshire, UK [Now: Kallithea, Athens, Greece (Καλλιθέα Αθήνα Ελλάδα)]

Appearance

Face/Voice(?)claim: David Alpay

Height: 6′5″

Hair colour: black/dark brown

Eye colour: brown hazel

Material items

Accessories: leather bracelet

School bag:

Curse breaking books, borrowed from family collection

Broom magazine, dated May 1983 (barely read)

Note from Olivia Green, thanking him for help with an essay

Candy from Honeydukes, mainly caramels and liquorice wands. A box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour beans.

Personality

MBTI: I- something

Traits

Positive: brave, knowledgeable, genial

Neutral: understanding, private, self-conscious 

Negative: obsessive, impulsive, awkward

Hobbies: research on languages, tinkering with muggle tech at home (eventually with Elliott), listening to and collecting music records.

Hogwarts

House: Ravenclaw 🦅

Core classes:

Astronomy - 4 (A)

Charms - 7 (O)

DADA - 3 (P)

Flying - 10 (O/Pass)

Herbology - 5 (A)

History of Magic - 7 (EE)

Potions - 2 (A) barely

Transfiguration - 5 (EE)

Electives

Ancient Runes - 9 (O)

CoMC - 5 (EE)

No NEWTs due to being trapped in a portrait

Extracurriculars: Quidditch 2 years, Chaser

Best classes

Charms [Really good teacher in Flitwick, understands it]

Ancient Runes [understands them, thanks to study outside of class]

Flying [Enjoys the escape, natural ability]

Worst classes

DADA [rotating professors helped nothing. Most incompetent]

Potions [especially after Snape started teaching. Slughorn was a better teacher]

Favourite professors

Flitwick [Goes without saying. Also Head of House]

Slughorn [In terms of potions professors. Liked him more than Snape]

Least favorite professors

Snape [so much. Didn’t like each other, and butted heads constantly]

DADA professors [Did not do well teaching]

Magic

1st wand: 10" Maple wood, with dragon heartstring core, bendy (snapped at some point)

2nd wand: Maple, 9.75″ unicorn hair, rigid 

[3rd wand: 10.5" Olive wood, with hippocampus hair, relatively flexible]

Special abilities: linguistics

Inherited the ability from his great-grandfather Northrup

Animagus? No

Boggart:

Form - Ellie, younger siblings, Olivia hurt by R, his parents disappointed/family hurt by R/family visibly tortured

Riddikulus - family in a series of crazy costumes, Olivia included

Amortentia

What they smell - rain, flowery perfume, a hint of dirt, pine needles and peonies

What they smell like - old books, gunpowder, a hint of whiskey, sandstone, oil paints

Patronus? Yes

Form - either a Bald Eagle or a Golden Eagle

Memory - relaxing times with Olivia in the Ravenclaw common room, time spent in Hogsmeade, hope for Ellie’s’ success in cracking the vaults

Mirror of Erised: Olivia well, with him, and the rest of his family with him, his great-grandpa smiling in the background, maybe a kid or two. Ellie and him having cracked the final vault.

Relationships

FAMILY

Father: James Stephen Marcovitz

A former Gryffindor, who works in the Magical Maintenance Department branch at St. Mungo’s Hospital. He worked briefly at the Ministry itself (and, supposedly, never ran into a particular woman in pink), before going over to St. Mungo’s. He managed to work his way up to being a Senior Supervisor, and is considered one of the most hands on.

He also had a brief stint in the muggle military in the late sixties, adding to the age gap between Jacob and Ellie, and also why they live in Aldershot. His father’s basically a muggleborn, raised predominantly in the non-magical world. There are other magic users in the family, including his older, but it’s largely concealed.

He and Jacob have a complicated relationship, due to him being away for swathes of time, and after Jacob got involved with the cursed vaults mess, wishing his eldest would be more obedient of rules and laws.

Mother: Bridget Marie Marcovitz nee Northrup

A former Ravenclaw, she works with Madam Villanelle at Flourish and Blotts, along with part time work in magical real estate, working as a go between of the muggle and magical worlds. Her family is considered pure-blood, but also one of the biggest blood traitor clans, right up there with the Weasley and the Potter families.

Most of her side of the family is scattered around the US, having hopped the Atlantic when old enough. Her mother still lives out in the lake district area, in the Northrup family house.

He was close to her growing up, especially with James gone for chunks of his childhood, including while he was at Hogwarts. She’s disappointed as well with his actions, which kept him from doing what he wanted to do sometimes.

Younger sister: Eleanor ‘Ellie’ Marcovitz

His younger sister, who he missed quite a bit, both while at Hogwarts and trapped in the portrait. His closest sibling, age wise, he showed her some of the ins and outs of the wizarding world before getting trapped.

Kept an eye on her from afar after she released him, still tracking Rakepick and the rest of R. Shares her dislike of the newest Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge.

Recognises that she could probably kick his backside in a duel, considering he missed his last two years of schooling.

Youngest siblings: Eileen Marcovitz and Elliott Marcovitz

Ten years younger than Jacob, they were the ones he was most surprised to see at Hogwarts after being released from the portrait. They barely recognised him, considering they were 5 when he disappeared.

Pets: Owl, dubbed Taranis

FRIENDS

Best Friends

Duncan Ashe, Slytherin

Loner, deeply rebellious, and exceedingly ambitious, which R manipulated him with to try and replicate the incredibly complicated and so far beyond NEWT level potion he ended up blowing himself up with.

Olivia Green, Ravenclaw

twin to Allison Green, Gryffindor. The cursed vaults left their marks on her in the scars and partial deafness in both ears after the lake vault. Wanted to be a Magizoologist before getting entangled in the vault hunt with Jacob.

Love Interest: Olivia Green, whom he had a crush on since third year, and had planned to ask out at the end of fifth year, before being trapped in the portrait. One of the first things he did after being released was go find her. Ended up having several large, heavy books hit him in the face before Olivia realised that he wasn’t a ghost, and that he was real and standing in the middle of her bedroom.

Enemies: R - fought back when he realised that he was being manipulated, if only to protect his family and Olivia; Death Eaters - he grew up during some of the darkest days of the first voldy war (70-81), and can remember the terror wrought then.

Dorm mates: 

[Jacob]

Cadfael Morgan

Gwynfor Morgan

Alexander Foster

Benjamin Wilkinson

Oliver Parker

Story

Childhood - born in Keswick, the family moved to Aldershot when he was barely a year old, where he and his future siblings would grow up. His first sign of magic happened around that time, causing a bookshelf full of books to fall on the floor in a thunderous fashion.

Hogwarts:

Adulthood - Having been rescued by Ellie and her friends, he took the opportunity to  refresh his knowledge before taking off and starting the hunt for Rakepick. That included a brief period of playing student and learning the basics of non-verbal magic that was starting to be  taught.

Miscellaneous

Left most of his music collection at home - far too large to carry in his trunk, and let Ellie occasionally raid it while he was at school. Returned to find several in much better condition, and most of it in Ellie’s room the summer after her fifth year.

Had one of the first albums by the Bent-Winged Snitches, and even managed to get it autographed the summer before his fourth year.

[a-mythical-lady]

Books and me.

14 years ago

(Age: 7)

It was bedtime and maa had just made my bed when I heard the front door open. Papa was home from work and I could hear bhai running to see papa and tell him random stuff. I bet papa listened to everything, despite being tired. After that, he came to my room, "Look what I got you" he said, and extended a book to me. I was confused as he had never brought me a book before. It was a book called Panchatantra. A story of an old rishi who gives life lessons to his five shishyas at the gurukul through stories about nature and animals. I was excited about getting my first book and begrudgingly, maa let me stay up later than usual. That night, sprawled on my bed, I was entranced and fascinated by all the different stories and scenes and talking animals. The next morning, I woke up by myself and finished the entire book by noon.

The next thing I know, I'm collecting comics and storybooks and getting addicted to them. Piling up tinkle comics, Archie's and Amar Chitra Katha was my only goal. Every train journey to my native place involved dragging papa to the railway station bookstore and getting myself a comic book for the train ride. I begged my parents to subscribe to storybooks along with the daily morning newspaper, and they relented after a lot of coaxing. Then, every Monday morning I'd wait eagerly for the newspaper boy to deliver my weekly dose of happiness with books of chacha Choudary, chandamama, and champak. Soon, this became an obsession that even my parents started noticing. Maa began hiding my copies of storybooks during the exams and giving them back only after all my exams were done. I began pestering papa to get me more and more books every day. Sometimes he would get me a double digest edition of tinkle and I'd be ecstatic and over the moon. It's amazing how something so small and silly used to make me so happy. I'd re-read the same books once I'd gone through my entire stash of new books. Out of desperation, I'd read anything I could lay my hands on. In school, we used to get all our term textbooks a month before the reopening of a new academic year and my English textbooks fell prey to this obsession of mine. I'd know all the lessons and stories by heart before the school year started. I think that was one of the reasons for the nerd label I got in school. I even started reading stories from the Bible, borrowing storybooks from another girl in my neighborhood. Little did I know that this was only the beginning.

10 years ago

(Age: 11)

One fine summer afternoon, bhai was busy watching tv in the living room and maa and papa were at work. We had free rein on the tv as it was the summer holidays and I had free rein on my books. I was lazing around in my room and started searching the entire house for something new to read. And finally, I found a book among bhai's things. It was probably a gift. It wasn't a comic book or a usual storybook. This one was an actual book. A novel. And it had no pictures. I was skeptical but boredom got the best of me and I decided to read a few pages to pass the time. It was a hardy boys book, written by Franklin W Dixon. After reading a few pages, my 11-year-old brain almost exploded with fascination. The style of writing, the mystery, the suspense of the entire book drew me in completely and I knew then, this was a turning point in my life where books are concerned. I felt almost grown-up. And so I read the 200 page novel with wide eyes and a bursting heart in 3 hours, without even getting up to pee. I went and told bhai about the new book I read. He laughed it off. I told maa and papa when they came back from work. "That's good beta", they said. I was disappointed that they didn't feel the same exhilaration that I did. Papa still got my books whenever I asked him. For the second time, I found myself collecting and piling up books. All of the hardy boys and Nancy drew collections. Once again, I was entranced, trapped yet alive like never before in a whole new world.

After that, a multitude of options lay before me. I dived headfirst into reading mystery and moved onto classics written by Charles Dickens, The Bronté sisters, Mary Shelly, and even a dash of Shakespeare. I fell in love with David Copperfield, Oliver twist, treasure island, Jane Eyre and Frankenstein.

But eventually, buying books so often became a chore and at the pace I was reading, with one book hardly lasting a day, we couldn't afford to buy as many books. So, then one day, maa and I set out on a goose chase all over the city looking for libraries where I could borrow books from. At last, we found an old government library inside an even older building that looked almost haunted. And as we bravely stepped into the barely holding up building, we only found old uncles reading newspapers and gossiping. Thankfully, there was a rack of English fiction. Just one single rack. Although mildly disappointed, I was determined to make do with that. I got myself a membership plan and my reading palette had its first taste of Indian authors. That one rack had a fair collection of young adult books, standalone contemporary novels which sated my hunger for quite some time. While other people gushed over my habit of reading books, my parents were a little concerned. But as I started writing my own speeches in school, improved in my speaking skills, I'm sure they were convinced and over time, I think they accepted this obsession of mine. Or at the very least, were forced to.

6 years ago.

(Age: 15)

My love for reading only grew and now I had a book beside me during breakfast, lunch, and dinner which my parents barely tolerated. I even started planting a book in every corner of my house for easy access, under the coffee table, by my bed, on my study table. While kids my age sneaked mobile phones under their pillows, I sneaked in books to read.

After a few years, I finally met a kindred spirit with a shared love for reading. He was older than me and introduced me to books by Dan Brown. I listened with rapt attention to the plot of the book and I immediately knew that my days of reading hardy boys and young adult books were over. It's crazy how transitioning between genres and different types of books made me feel older and mature over the years. Few pages into the Da Vinci code and I fell, hook, line, and sinker. I finished the entire 500-page book in a day. Back then, I was pretty adamant about having my own copies of books and collecting them, which I guess stemmed from my childhood obsession with collecting comics. Soon, I'd exhausted the books at the old library and had no other option but to trade in my precious books for second-hand books at a wholesale book store very far away from home. Because they were at a secondhand rate, I could now afford more books and although the pages were worn out and yellowed, I was happy. The already folded pages, notes in the corners of some pages jotted down by the previous owner made me feel oddly connected and attached.

Present-day

(Age: 21)

As I grew up and left my teenage years behind, life and boards got in my way and there were gaps when I couldn't read no matter how hard I tried. But once I found my way back to books. I knew what I was missing and knew that I would never stop reading again. I still read books by Dan Brown, Sydney Sheldon, and Nora Roberts. I found quite a few talented Indian authors. Books by Durjoy Dutta and Ravinder Singh made me fall in love with contemporary romance and light humor. I've moved on to reading books on my phone now. I miss turning pages of an actual book, but on the bright side, I get to read countless books anytime and anywhere I want. I've explored many genres over the years, murder and crime thrillers, romance, contemporary, dark fiction, and comedy, and read them accordingly when the mood strikes.

If there's one thing that has been a constant through my childhood, it has been books. Reading is a huge part of my life and very close to my heart. Words and writing mean so much to me. Books have been my solace, my safe place, my companions as I grew up, my fantasy land, and my hiding place all rolled into one. I've cried, loved, smiled, and laughed with books and I can't describe how utterly grateful I am to maa and papa for getting me my first book when I was just 7 and letting me explore my love for reading.

Although, there's one thing I'd like to admit. There's this one genre that I've never read - non-fiction and strangely, I'm still very skeptical about it. But you never know, over time I might come to like that as well!

MAJ

[dc-earth53]

#0003: Green Lantern (Hal Jordan)

Age: 48

Occupation: Intergalactic law enforcement, former fighter pilot

Marital status: Single

Known relatives: Martin Jordan (father, deceased), Jessica Jordan (mother, deceased), Larry Jordan (uncle, deceased), Helen Jordan (aunt), Harold “Hal” Jordan (cousin), Jim Jordan (brother), Jack Jordan (brother, deceased), Janice Jordan (sister-in-law, deceased), Jason Jordan (nephew), Helen Jordan (niece), Sue Williams Jordan (sister-in-law), Howie Jordan (nephew), Jane Jordan (niece), Arthur Jordan (nephew).

Group affiliation: Green Lantern Corps, formerly Justice League of America

Base of operations: Oa, Sector 0000

Height: 6’2”

Weight: 186 lbs.

 History:

48 years ago: Hal Jordan is born in Coast City to Jessica and Martin Jordan.

33 years ago: Hal meets Carol Ferris, daughter of Ferris Aircraft CEO Carl Ferris. The two have an on-and-off relationship through the years.

30 years ago: 18-year-old Hal enlists in the US Air Force, following in his deceased father’s footsteps and becoming a fighter pilot.

25 years ago: Hal leaves the Air Force and becomes a test pilot for Ferris Aircraft.

20 years ago: 

28-year-old Hal comes across the dying Abin Sur, Green Lantern of sector 2814. Jordan is chosen as Sur’s replacement and reports to Oa for training. 

Jordan exposes his mentor Thaal Sinestro’s dictatorial subjugation of his home planet. Sinestro is expelled from the Corps and banished to the anti-matter universe.

19 years ago: Jordan becomes a founding member of the Justice League of America after helping to repel an alien invasion.

17 years ago: Jordan first comes into conflict with Carol Ferris, possessed by a violet gem and calling herself Star Sapphire. Afterwards, Jordan and Ferris end their relationship for good.

16 years ago: Jordan travels the United States alongside Green Arrow and Black Canary, helping to tackle social issues.

14 years ago: 

Jordan falls in love with Arisia Rrab, Green Lantern of sector 2815. The two of them develop a relationship over the years, but are forced to break up by the Guardians. 

Sinestro returns to the positive matter universe, armed with a yellow power ring, and attacks the Green Lantern Corps, only to be fended off by Jordan.

12 years ago: Jordan is exiled to sector 3599 as punishment for failing to protect the rest of his sector outside of Earth. Once he returns to Earth, he resigns from the Corps, leaving his ring to John Stewart.

10 years ago: Hal returns to active duty after an attack from Sinestro. Sinestro is imprisoned in the Central Power Battery on Oa. While this is happening, the yellow fear entity Parallax begins to influence Jordan’s thoughts and actions.

9 years ago: Coast City is destroyed by Mongul while Jordan is off-planet settling a dispute with the Darkstars. Driven mad by grief, Jordan re-creates Coast City with his ring and is brought to trial by the Guardians for selfish use of his powers.  Jordan kills the Guardians, Green Lantern Corps, and Sinestro in search of more power, succumbing to the influence of Parallax.

8 years ago: Parallax allies himself with Monarch, conspiring to restart the universe in their image, and is stopped by Earth’s heroes.

7 years ago: In a moment of lucidity, Jordan brings the deceased Oliver Queen back to life and sacrifices his own life to kill a Sun-Eater and re-ignite Earth’s sun.

3 years ago: Jordan is restored to life by the Life Entity following the Blackest Night. He returns to the reformed Green Lantern Corps, but is distrusted by many.

2 years ago: Hal and Sinestro find themselves unlikely allies in fending off an invasion from the anti-matter universe, led by the imprisoned First Lantern, Volthoom. 

1 year ago: Jordan finds himself embroiled in a war between the various Lantern Corps and the New Gods of New Genesis, who seek the Life Equation held by the Life Entity to combat the reborn Darkseid.

Present Day: Jordan goes undercover, infiltrating the black ops organization known as the Blackstars to root out a double agent in the Green Lantern Corps.

Commentary:

In weaseling out Hal’s timeline in this universe, there weren’t a ton of roadblocks - New 52 blessed us with a general continuation of Geoff Johns’ Green Lantern story, and that is preserved in part here, although with significant changes. Green Lantern: Rebirth is a fine story, but in sticking to my self-imposed rule of “minimal resurrections”, Hal’s return got pushed back until this universe’s version of Brightest Day, leaving the Sinestro Corps War and other stories around that time period primarily to Kyle Rayner and John Stewart. Hal’s time as the Spectre is also omitted - here his penance for his actions while under the influence of Parallax comes during Final Night and afterwards, when he’s revived by the Life Entity.

Jordan is defined by being kind of a maverick - he’s got willpower to spare, which makes him a great Green Lantern, but that same willpower gives him an independent streak that annoys the Guardians to no end and ultimately leads to his downfall and corruption by Parallax. After he’s brought back to life, this same fierce independence leads him to be distrusted by the Guardians and used only on their most dangerous black-ops missions.

I also decided to keep his relationship with Arisia intact, although it’s less questionable in this timeline, as Arisia is a legal adult from the outset - although there’s still an age gap between them, as Hal is the oldest of the founding Justice League members aside from J’onn. Ultimately, Hal doesn’t have any long-term romantic relationships here, as they tend to end in disaster - a trait he shares with his successor, Kyle Rayner.

As for Hal’s costume, there’s really only one option, and as it’s survived the test of time, it remains here with no notable changes.

Have any questions about Hal or anyone else? Asks are open!

Coming up:

#0004: Aquaman

#0005: Barry Allen

#0006: ????

[lunarliteration]

Kyle Hemmings — Notes on The Biography of E. H. Munch (3rd Edition)

1.   A recurrent regret by Munch throughout his days is that he always felt he “skimmed the surface of life,” without ever taking the plunge into its depths, never explored its secret caverns and precious archaeologies, never gave himself over to “smiling mermaids who spoke a universal sign language with bubbles and sweeping hand motions that could never be imitated by land wishers”.

2.  Munch was fond of misquoting Nietzsche. He believed in the philosopher’s view that the best time to die was when one was at the height of one’s powers. Munch said at parties, most likely as a joke, that he should have died at the age of ten.

3.  The relationship with Hedda Grubber has frustrated many would be biographers and cultists. It is filled with gaps and inconsistencies. Salek recalls from an interview with Munch that he (Munch) had met her at a Parisian nightclub “where the air stung one’s nostrils with all varieties of rose and orchard scents mixed with the heavy smoke from Turkish cigarettes.” He claimed that the singer seduced him that night by stuffing her sequined underwear down his trousers. Inexperienced in all matters of love and conquest, Munch and the older Hedda made love “on rooftops, on deserted beaches at night, inside army tanks scheduled to be scrapped, inside the belly of a shrine to the Ghost of North Halifax.”

4.  At the age of 95, Hedda denied much of what Munch revealed to journalists of the New Left. She did admit that Munch often trembled and remained silent for long periods of time after love making. When she asked him if anything was wrong, he gave his usual cryptic response, “Everything is wrong, Darling. The whole world is wrong and is in a downward spiral. I want to cry for everyone. But for the two of us, I will remain speechless. Perhaps we are all that matters.” They would then stay side by side in bed, holding hands in the darkness for hours, recalls Hedda.

5.  As noted by Gremlich, Munch exhibited a fascination with lizards and snakes in his early sketches. He remarked that they represented “the crudest forms of politicians and bureaucrats”.

6.  Hedda does recall the failed plot to assassinate Himmler much later and how several members of the Horst Brigade, including herself,  helped to spring Munch from prison and to a safe passage to Switzerland. There, Hedda gave birth to a baby that didn’t live long, but Munch denied it was his. During his bouts of depression and mental cloudiness, he claimed that a young British spy posing as a Nazi officer was the real father and Hedda refused to speak to him for weeks. In a more lucid and serene state, he described Hedda to Salek as a cross between “a big-hearted prostitute with wings and a shadowy butterfly denying the death of flowers.”

7.  “Try telling that fathead to behave himself before I knock his lights out,” was how Hedda often referred to Munch at all-night parties to the Dadaist, Martin Rou.

8.   There are two contrasting versions of the incident at Goat’s Head View. According to Munch, he was staying that summer with a young British friend who had invited him. Munch claims that he was kneeling at the edge of a cliff overlooking a glittering sea when his host, the prankster, Marshall, climbed up the cliff and taunted Munch to pull him up. When Munch attempted to, Marshall let go, perhaps hoping that Munch would fall over. Instead, Marshall fell backwards and spent the rest of the summer in bed with two broken arms and one fractured leg.

Marshall’s version differs in that it claims that Munch was the one who was taunting, and always “full of clever little tricks.”

9.  After the incident, Munch’s family moved him to an exclusive school on the continent where he excelled in languages and science.

10.  Munch often said that he never left the “ravaged grounds of puberty” and always experienced an erotic obsession with woman having large breasts, curvy hips, a Cheshire smile, and a mercurial temperament.

13.  What is being referred to here is the period of The Blank Canvas. Munch and Hedda decided to take a break from their tumultuous relationship. “So many broken eggshells with missing eggs and little white lies turning monstrous and black,” recalls Hedda. Actually, The Blank Canvas Period lasted roughly about seven months. During this time, Munch painted little, and cavorted with the amorous Hollywood starlet, Wanda Thrush, a one-time fling of Fritz Lang, although the latter denied it. Munch summarized the period as “a beautiful way to deny the emptiness of last night’s hangover.” Thrush later took up with the writer/safari hunter–Hugo Dietsch. Both she and an inexperienced guide were mauled to death by a lion. Dietsch was later killed by a Spanish bullfighter whose estranged wife the actor was romancing and were seen together swimming nude in the sea .

14.  Hedda was known to take her martinis with three olives “standing straight up”.

15.  The years between 1948 and 1964 were the most productive for Munch, art-wise. It was during this period that he developed his Red Lady series of semi-abstract paintings. Munch had become fascinated with the “emotional properties” of red and blue, with gradations of yellow thrown in. Most of the pieces have an abstract background composed of blue and red swirls and in the foreground, a faceless woman dressed in flapper hat, short fringe dress, and holding a cane, a la cabaret style. Art critics remarked that the red mostly likely symbolized the blood that later Munch obsessed over to such a degree that he painted skies and clouds streaked with it, until right before his institutionalization at Geneva, when he painted huge red balls against a dark canvas, perhaps symbolizing for him not only his ensuing blindness, but also, the end of the world.

16.  Roughly five weeks after his release from Saint Morgan’s, Munch, as noted by the increasingly brittle Hedda, seemed to be at peace with himself. However, after an argument in which Hedda accused him of “killing our baby,” even though Hedda had not given birth in over 38 years, Munch retreated into his study and shot himself with a revolver. The same one he intended to use on Himmler, many years before.

In her memoir, Hedda reconstructs this incident by stating that by “our baby” she meant the book of poems and paintings that she and Munch had been working on and off for years. She claimed that in a fit of rage and frustration, Munch had torn up the drafts, flinging them outside their Paris window, calling them “worthless birds.” He then fell into her arms and sobbed uncontrollably until he fell asleep. The next morning, Hedda found him dead from a gunshot wound, in the study.

17.  Hedda later moved to Norway, lived the rest of her life alone, and maintains in her memoir that Munch was the only man she ever truly loved, despite her numerous affairs with late Dadaists and young college students whom she taught as an associate professor of Modern Literature. She was later buried alongside Munch at a small cemetery in Bavaria. Wallach notes that “visitors claim they can hear them both dreaming of the other through closed caskets.”

18.  Translation: They must dream loudly.

X

[sweetness-pop]

Sweet*POP's MCCFS 3: Fox x Krystal

Fox McCloud, age 28, wearing olive green camouflage pants. Black leather belt with a golden buckle saying "FOX" with an outline rectangle around it. Solid black tank top with N64 logo. Black leather, fingerless punk rock gloves with silver studs. Long light brown hiking boots with black laces, & steel toes. Star Fox white jacket with long sleeves. Golden chain necklace with the golden supply ring as the pendant. & Slid down slightly to show his green eyes are......black shades......just like his father, James McCloud(may he rest in peace🦊😔🌹).

Krystal, age 21, just wearing a vivid purple halter monokini. It has side cut-outs. String tie around the neck & back. Bottoms of the swimsuit has triple golden o-ring metals with encircled white rhinestones at the front. Black V criss cross string on front of chest & hips. White rhinestones all over the front. & A rhombus-shaped turquoise on the chest area of the monokini. Golden shimmer dress shoes with high heels & a T-strap on the front. The silver bands on her tail. Black silky gloves. Golden star stud earrings. Bright red lipstick. Silver hair pins with round rubies, one on both sides of the head. & Her blue hair at shoulder-length is in a curly half-updo style.

& Finally, how Fox & Krystal pose:

(With Fox's arwing behind him & Krystal😎🚀✈👍🏽)

I wonder if Nintendo will still have an age gap of 6 or 7 years between Fox & Krystal in the reboot?🤔

*Magazine cover owned by VOGUE India*

[fvckyouimaprophet]

Contrast

Summary: Part 9 of the color verse. You see in black and white until the day after you sleep with your soulmate. (part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8) Author’s Note: It’s been over 3 years since I updated. Even though it’s been ages since I’ve watched the show, this has always been one of my dearest fics. So, without further ado, here’s the update. (@like-shipsinthenight I know you’re out of the fandom, but maybe you’d be interested.)

“Hey, sorry about that. I had to go through some case files at the last minute, and it ended up taking way longer than expected.” When no one responds, Connor steps toward the bedroom. “Oliver?”

He’s about to call his name again, but when he opens the door, he sees Oliver splayed out across the bed, fully dressed but fast asleep.

Connor can’t blame him. He was supposed to be home hours ago. He sighs, making quick work of brushing his teeth and getting undressed. When he sits down next to Oliver, and the bed dips a little, Oliver lets out a small whine but doesn’t wake up.

For a moment, Connor takes him in, his heart twinging a little. He’s still dressed in his work clothes — a button-up and slacks. His hair is messy, half on his face, and Connor reaches out, gently pushing it back. “Oliver...”

It takes Oliver a moment to come to, but after a moment, his eyes open. “You’re late,” he croaks out.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Again.”

Connor leans down to press a kiss to his forehead, but Oliver groans and shifts away fractionally.

“I’m really sorry.”

“What time is it?”

Connor looks at his watch. “1:27 A.M.” Oliver doesn’t say anything, and after a moment, Connor can feel him drifting off again. It takes him a minute, but he gets Oliver’s shirt and pants off of him and frowns when he sees the little dip on his stomach where the belt buckle has left a mark. He presses a kiss to it, and Oliver shifts again.

“I don’t wanna have sex,” he grumbles.

“Good thing, ‘cause neither do I.” It isn’t easy to get the blanket pulled out from under Oliver, but he does it anyway and curls up next to him. Typically, Oliver moves back to be flush against him, but this time he doesn’t, and Connor suspects it has little to do with how tired he is. “I love you.”

He’s just met with heavy breathing.

- - -

It’s after ten when Connor wakes up, and it takes him a moment to realize that Oliver isn’t in bed. He stumbles out, still half-awake, to find him on the living room couch on his laptop.

“You left me hanging in there.”

Oliver doesn’t look up. “I figured I’d let you sleep since you came home late.” Nothing about his tone reads as cold, but Connor knows there’s something there.

“You’re mad.” He makes his way over and falls back on the couch next to Oliver. “Talk to me.”

“I’m not mad.” A but lingers unsaid.

“Then you’re upset.” When Oliver says nothing, he adds, “Or frustrated.” Connor’s stomach knots.

“A little yeah.” Oliver takes off his glasses and sets them on his knee before pinching the bridge of his nose. “I think I should sleep at my place tonight.”

“Don’t do this.”

“Do what?”

“I thought I was the one who was supposed to be bad at communication. We can’t both be bad at it.” That finally manages to crack a small smile from Oliver, and he turns to face him.

“You said you were going to be back at ten. Then you texted and said eleven.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m just new to the firm, so they’re throwing everything at me.”

“It’s been like that for four months now. I know you can’t help it, but I want to spend time with you. It’s been—” Oliver stops himself from finishing the sentence, and suddenly, despite the fact that they’re sitting right next to each other, the gap between them feels impossibly large.

“It’s been like that with Michaela too since she started at Caplan and Gold. It’s why she’s been spending all her nights with Aiden. Honestly, I think they’re going to move in together any day now. If you moved in with me, maybe that would help.”

Oliver shakes his head, and his gaze drops down to his lap. “Let’s get through this, and then we’ll talk about it.” The knot in Connor’s stomach feels tighter.

“I don’t like the sound of that."

“Why not?” Oliver asks.

“Because it makes it sound like you think there’s a chance we won’t get through this.”

“That’s not what I mean.” Oliver picks up his glasses and slides them back on. “I think we will. We just need time.” He moves his hand on top of Connor’s and gives it a light squeeze. “And besides, what’s wrong with my apartment?”

The small joke is enough to break the tension — for now, at least. Connor knows better than to keep picking at it, and the knot in his stomach loosens a bit.

- - -

“It’s not going supposed to be easy. It’s still a relationship.” Michaela adjusts the pillows on the couch and frowns. “Give and take is still part of the package.”

“But I thought that was the whole point of soulmates! What makes it any different than any other relationship, then?” Connor steps out of the way as Michaela moves past him to the end table and starts flipping through the envelopes.

“Throw these away.” She hands him the whole stack after a moment but continues to talk as Connor makes his way to the kitchen to toss it. “What makes it different is that you’re inherently compatible. That if you both put work into it and nurture it that you’re guaranteed to succeed. And that your souls are connected, which you shouldn’t discount – especially considering how that worked out for you last time.”

Connor comes back and collapses on the couch with a groan. “Can’t something be easy, just for once?”

“Get up!” Michaela turns around and frowns. “I just fixed those.”

“I can get the cushions, Michaela.” He sighs and stands back up, fluffing the cushions before setting them back in place. “Besides, won’t people be sitting when they get here?”

“I thought you came here to help me clean.”

“It was all a ruse to talk about Oliver.”

“Isn’t it always?” She disappears into the hallway for a moment and comes back with a Swiffer. “Please just make yourself useful if you have it in you.”

Connor frowns and starts making work of cleaning her floors. “I don’t know what to do. It’s been seven months, and they still have me working almost twelve hours a day.”

“Tegan says—”

“Oh, here we go with the ‘Tegan says…’” When he turns around and sees Michaela’s withering look, he gives an apologetic half-smile. “Okay, fine, what does Tegan say?”

“Never mind what she says.”

“Oh, don’t do that.”

“Connor, I’m just saying that you need to make some choices and find ways to make that balance happen. No one but you can do that for you.”

“You sound like my astrology app. ‘As Mercury goes into retrograde, beware not to complicate your relationship. Don't get caught up in—'” A pillow whacks him in the face, cutting him off. “Hey! What will your guests think if your couch cushion is on the floor? What kind of a housewarming party would that be?” Although he smirks, he sees Michaela grab another cushion and ducks before that one can hit him too.

- - -

“What do you have against the new place?” Oliver asks. “I think it’s cozy.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t say cozy. That’s code-word for small.”

“That’s not how I meant it.”

Connor looks around the boxes and frowns. There’s so much to do, and after several hours of moving, he just wants to lay on the ground. Instead, he turns to Oliver and says, “Thanks for helping.”

“I never thought I’d see the day when Connor Walsh got his hands dirty.”

“Don’t count on seeing it again anytime soon.” Connor knows better than to say anything, but before he can stop himself, his mouth opens. “If we had moved in together, we could have kept the two-bedroom. One of those could have been an office space and guest room.”

Oliver presses his lips together in a tight smile. “It’s just not time yet.”

“You moved in with Matt pretty quickly.”

“Yeah and look how that turned out for us.” He steps forward and kisses Connor’s cheek. “I love you. I do. You just have to have faith.”

Connor knows that he’s not so good at that, as much as he hates to admit it. Faith has never been his strong suit. It’s a large chunk of the reason why he’s been agnostic, despite being raised Catholic – and agnostic not atheist, since he can’t even find the faith in him to not believe in a God fully. But the look in Oliver’s eyes tells him not to push it. He has enough lately, and considering that Oliver didn’t budge before, Connor knows he won’t now.

“Okay, fine. I’m just saying that you don’t need to be cautious with me. I’m not going to disappoint you.”

Something in Oliver’s face stiffens. His eyes become a little glassy, and his cheeks tense. It’s subtle, but Connor doesn’t miss it, and it feels like a punch to the gut.

- - -

“He doesn’t trust me,” Connor whines, throwing back another shot. “It’s been almost a year since we got together, and he doesn’t trust me.”

“Yeah, well, you’re kind of an ass, and you were really an ass to him, so I can’t really blame him.”

Connor isn’t entirely sure why he agreed to meet Laurel at the bar for drinks. Pep talks have never been her strong suit, and Connor isn’t sure if he’d even categorize her as a friend. They only ever spend time together around Michaela.

“What?” Laurel asks.

“I get that I fucked up, but c’mon. I’ve been trying. You can’t say that I haven’t been trying.”

“You’ve ben trying. I just think that’s not always enough.”

“How are things with Kan?” he asks, trying to change topic.

“We broke up.” She grabs her gin and tonic and takes a large sip. “About two weeks ago, actually.”

“Shit, I’m so sorry. What happened?” He flags the bartender and turns to look back at her.

“Nothing. Just didn’t work out the way we wanted it to. I’ve been pretty busy, and I’ve had some family shit lately anyway.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

Laurel takes another swig of her drink and waves her hand dismissively, but Connor can tell there’s more than she wants to share. Before he can ask another question, the bartender comes over.

“What can I get for you two?”

“An Old Fashioned, and—” He looks at Laurel, who finishes her gin and tonic with one more gulp.

“Whiskey Sour,” she says.

“Coming right up.” The bartender looks Connor up and down and smirks before disappearing.

“Well, if things don’t work out with Oliver, it seems like you might have some options.” She elbows Connor, and Connor rolls his eyes.

- - -

Connor (7:09) Sorry I’m running late. I should be there in five.

Oliver (7:11) Ok.

Connor (7:11) Don’t okay me. Are your parents with you?

Oliver (7:13) We got here fifteen minutes ago.

Connor (7:14) Ah shit. Sorry. I’m right around the corner. Please don’t be mad.

Connor tucks his phone into his jacket pocket and smooths down his hair before walking in. He spots Oliver and his parents before the maître d’ approaches him and tells her before walking over and trying to steady his breathing. A quick glance at his watch tells him it’s 7:17.

Oliver stands up as soon as he sees them and smiles anxiously. “Here he is.”

Connor’s heart beats in his throat as he stretches out his hand. “Pleasure to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Hampton.”

“Oh, you can call me Lisa,” she says, beaming at him as she shakes his hand.

“And you can call me Mr. Hampton,” Oliver’s father says, laughing at his own joke. “Kidding, of course. You can call me William.”

“Dad…”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you both,” Connor says, offering one last smile before sitting down next to Oliver. Underneath the table, Oliver reaches out and squeezes his hand.

“It’s been a while since we’ve met one of Oliver’s boyfriends. But we’re told you’re special,” Lisa says, meeting her husband’s eye before looking back at them. Oliver lets go of Connor’s hand, and Connor doesn’t have to look to know that he’s blushing.

“When he told me you were coming to visit, I didn’t give him much of an option,” Connor teases. “I just made sure to book a reservation.”

“You know, we tried to get a reservation here last time we came, and we saw how fast it fills up,” Williams says.

They make it through dinner without any hiccups, and by the time they order dessert, Connor feels mostly at ease. That ease, however, evaporates with one question from Lisa.

“So, have you considered any next steps?” The implication is clear, even though she doesn’t say it. Connor sees the color drain from Oliver’s face, and he’s sure his looks the same.

“You don’t need to answer that,” Oliver says before shooting a frantic look at both of them. Lisa smiles, but her expression is hard to read.

“I just want to know that my son is being taken care of.”

“I am!” Oliver insists, and when he starts tapping against the table, Connor lays his hand on top of Oliver’s.

“I think we’re trying to take things one step at a time after everything.” He knows that Oliver’s parents know about what happened. He had made sure to ask Oliver ahead of time. He can feel the anxiety bubbling up in the pit of his stomach at the mention nonetheless.

When Lisa doesn’t say anything for a moment, Oliver breaks the silence. “It’s not because of him. I’m trying to take it slow.”

Connor wishes it were possible to sink into the ground. He imagines the chair getting lower until the floor swallows him whole and tries to avoid thinking about how unbelievably hot his face feels.

“We shouldn’t have asked,” Lisa says after a moment, her voice softer than it was moments before. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Connor clears his throat and puts on a smile that he hopes looks more real than it feels. “I’m sure you’d be the first people that Oliver would tell.”

“You know, when Oliver was little, he would ask us to tell him the color of everything in the house. He’d memorize it all, and when we’d have people over, he’d try to tell people that he had met his soulmate. When they’d laugh, he’d tell them they could ask him the color of anything in the house.” She smiles apologetically.

The waitress comes up before anyone can say anything, and Connor feels grateful for the interruption.

The rest of dinner passes smoothly, and despite minor protests, Connor manages to pay for the check. Oliver kisses his parents good night, and this time, Connor gets a hug from them both before they say goodnight.

“Well, that went mostly well,” Connor says. “You know, outside of wanting to die for a brief second there.”

“You were also late.” Oliver shakes his head and presses a kiss to Connor’s cheek. “I had to stall for you.”

“Your mom tried to ask us when we were going to get married, and you’re mad that I was fifteen minutes late?” Connor wraps his arm around Oliver. “You’re lucky that I love you.” As he sighs, he feels the tension start to leave his body. “So, Lisa said I was the first guy she’d met in a while. Matt didn’t make the cut?”

Oliver pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “It was complicated.”

“How so?”

“Well, you see, there was this guy I was also interested in and was hoping things might work out, but he was a bit of a jackass.” He gives Connor a lopsided grin before pulling out of reach.

“And did they?” He feels a strange flutter in his stomach.

“I’m still figuring that out, but I’ll get back to you soon.”

- - -

“She asked you when you were going to get married? And I thought meeting Aiden’s parents was terrifying,” Michaela says. She turns to look at Aiden. “Sorry.”

“No need to apologize,” Aiden calls from the kitchen. He comes out after a moment carrying a Dutch oven. “Coq au vin’s ready. When will the others be here?”

“Soon,” Michaela says. “Connor, help me set the table.”

“Hey, I brought a pie. I did my share.”

“You’re insufferable. Help me set the table.” She gets up and heads toward the kitchen, and Connor catches Aiden’s smirk.

He follows her and grabs the silverware and napkins that she hands him. “So why isn’t Oliver joining us today?” she asks. “Laurel’s bringing her new boyfriend, and I think even Wes might be bringing Rebecca and Lila.” Her nose scrunches as she says it. She’s always erred on the traditional side.

“It’s a friend’s birthday, but he might drop by after he leaves the bar. He said he was going to text me. He was pretty upset about it when he smelled the pie, and I told him that he couldn’t have any.” Connor laughs and moves back to the living room to start setting the table.

Michaela follows shortly with plates.

“He knows he’s always welcome.”

“Sometimes I think you like him better than me.”

“You better be careful what you say, Con,” Aiden says, placing the bread that Connor brought on the table beside the Brussels sprouts. “I think she might.”

They all make their way back to the kitchen to grab glasses. “So what did you say when she asked if you were going to get married?” Michaela asks.

“Oliver said that it’s because of him. That he wants to take it slowly. And I wanted to die because his mom knows what happened between us, so I’m sure that’s probably why she asked.” He sees Michaela open her mouth and cuts her off preemptively. “And before you give me your spiel about how I deserve it and blah, blah, blah – I know. It was still horrible.”

“As long as you know,” Michaela says, handing him three glasses.

- - -

“I’m surprised you didn’t have anything elaborate planned for your birthday,” Oliver says, stretching as he pauses in front of the bed. Connor props himself up and wraps his arms around Oliver, tugging him back down.

“It’s on a Saturday this year, so I just wanted to stay in. Enjoy my day off. What fun is going out when you and I could spend the whole day—” His hand runs down to the front of Oliver’s boxer briefs, and Oliver swats it away.

“Hey! A gentleman always asks.”

Connor rolls his eyes. “May I fuck you, Daddy?” He throws the last bit in as a joke and gets a well-earned look of disgust from Oliver.

“Don’t be gross. But maybe. You’ll have to work for it, though.” With that, he jumps up and runs out of the room. They chase each other around until Connor pulls him down onto the couch and falls on top of him.

They pant for a moment, their noses touching before Oliver bridges the gap and kisses him. Perhaps Oliver tastes of morning breath even though he can’t taste it. He’s sure he does, but since both of them do, he feels like it cancels out.

He runs his thumb up Oliver’s jaw to just behind his ear, and Oliver rolls Connor’s lower lip between his teeth. It’s messy, but Connor can feel Oliver’s cock pressing against his thigh, half-hard, and he can’t find it in himself to care.

His hand drops down again, and he tugs at the elastic as Oliver lifts his hips. They make short work of it, and he tosses Oliver’s underwear to the side before kissing his way down. Oliver whines as he makes it to his hips and pushes upwards, and when Connor laughs, he can’t help but notice the way that Oliver squirms, restless.

“Are you going to blow me, or are you just going to tease?” Oliver asks. His cock strains against his stomach, leaking and red.

“Who’s birthday is it?” Connor asks.

A small whimper leaves Oliver’s hips as he pushes down against the couch. “Yours.”

“And yet you’re making demands like it’s yours.” He presses a kiss to the head, and his breath catches in his throat as he watches Oliver’s face flush.

They wind up back in the bed after Oliver comes, and somehow Connor ends up on all fours, clutching the headboard and rocking as Oliver’s tongue presses in, and his hands runs up and down his cock. It doesn’t take long for him to come as well, and he barely can find the energy to clean himself and the sheets up before collapsing.

Oliver follows suit, and drift in and out, legs tangled together. When Connor wakes up, Oliver is at the desk typing. He watches for as long as he can, taking in all the small things that Oliver does when he doesn’t feel he’s being watched – the way he mouths his words when he rereads his sentences and the hand he places at the back of his neck, rubbing small circles as he thinks.

“You really aren’t attentive, are you?” Connor asks, and Oliver jumps, taken out of his trance.

“Sorry, catching up on some work. I’m surprised you don’t have to today. If you keep it up, this may be the first time I’ve seen you go a full twenty-four hours without it since we started dating.” He turns his chair to face Connor.

“It is my birthday, after all.”

“You worked on Christmas.”

Connor waves the comment away dismissively before sitting himself up and yawning. “I’m pretty hungry. Do you want to order something?”

“I ordered food already. I was planning on waking you when it came.”

“Well, if you don’t already know it, you should know that you’re amazing.”

“I do, but I don’t mind hearing it again.” His eyes run down Connor as Connor stands up and walks over.

“You’re amazing,” Connor repeats. His eyes close as he wraps his arms around Oliver, and he lets out a content hum. His apartment feels quiet, and he’s not sure when he’s last felt this calm, this warm.

“I have presents for you. Do you want them now or after lunch?”

“How about now?” Connor asks.

“Let me go get them. They’re in my coat.” Oliver motions to the living room, and Connor makes his way to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. By the time he’s done, Oliver is patiently waiting on the bed, an envelope and a small box placed neatly in front of him.

“You better not be proposing to me with that thing.”

“Oh, shut it.” Oliver rolls his eyes and pushes them forward. “Open the bigger envelope first and then the box.” Connor sits on the edge of the bed and carefully opens the envelope, trying his best not to make a torn mess. It’s halfway open when Connor can see that they’re tickets.

He fishes them out and lets out a whoop. “Future Islands?”

“You know I had to.”

“Well, thank you.” Connor leans forward and kisses him. “I’m intrigued and terrified what’s in the box. I’m assuming you’re not saving the worse present for last.” He grins and tears the wrapping paper off of the box. The small white box looks unassuming, as if it should have jewelry in it, and Connor gives it a light shake. “Am I going to break it?”

“Probably not?”

“So mysterious,” Connor says, tutting and shaking his head before taking the lid off.

The silver key to Oliver’s front door rests on top of an index card. His head spins as he takes the note out and reads the message.

Connor Walsh, will you move in with me?

[elane-in-the-shadows]

Red Queen Fan Fiction - Red Huntress Chapter 7

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Epilogue

Find this on Wattpad and on AO3

The journey to Trial took several days, more than a week. During this time, Diana was stuck in a number of vehicles, transports, farm machines and carriages where she often also had to sleep. She wasn’t to talk to the drivers, nor to be seen. She found that a bit silly but she guessed she was only useful as an informal supporter of the Scarlet Guard if she wasn’t known as one, not to be connected to any rebel who might get caught.

Her company was a woman about thirty, with short straight black hair and olive skin. Sometimes she drove their transport; the rest of the time she wanted Diana to prepare. Or rather “Tina”. To make her memorize her role, the operative never used Diana’s true name and neither introduced herself. Diana went along with that, eager to please, yet inwardly wondering how deep the operative had sunk into the game of changing identities. She instructed Diana in the duties of a Red civil servant, so strict and exact about the required meekness she could’ve been a maid servant herself. Or still was, like putting on a mask over her rebel self. As she also told Diana how to be a spy.

“You have only women as roommates on your floor,” the operative said when they eventually arrived at the dorm in Trial. The dorm was higher than any house Diana had ever been in before, and still it was surrounded by buildings even higher, reaching into the grey sky.

Diana swallowed her nausea that rose from sudden uncertainty. Don’t be such a bumpkin. To not let her rural origins show was precisely what the operative had reminded her about.

“Right”, Diana agreed to whatever she’d said.

The operative sighed as they entered the building and went up the stairs. “All inhabitants of this dorm are some sort of servant or other. Mostly with municipal jobs, like you.”

“Sure.”

The operative stopped her at the door of the third-floor-room “Tina” was to live in. She turned to Diana, glaring. “Don’t trust them.”

Diana raised an eyebrow. “As people? Or as sources?”

For the first time in days, the operative’s features softened, although one would hardly call it a smile. “I see you understand. As the former, of course. You aren’t here to make friends. Now come,” said she, and led Diana inside the room.

They dressed in uniforms of skirts and shirts, all in light blue shades apart from the scarlet neckties marking them as Reds, to undermine any chance at being mistaken.

Diana wasn’t sure what to think of the face she saw in the mirror. With her straight, pinned-up hair and the crisp uniform, it wasn’t the face she was used to, neither a strange woman of nineteen. She was not Diana Farley of Sieverling, but someone different, someone she’d have to get to know – and shape. Into the spy the Scarlet Guard wanted.

The operative nodded. “Let’s go introduce you at the office.”

Diana took a reassuring breath, glancing one last time at herself in the mirror. You can do this.

But it was winter, and she was glad the operative let her keep her coat from home, to cuddle in something familiar during their walk.

The work itself was dull. Sorting papers, carrying forms, copying them. She wasn’t good or fast on the typewriter, unskilled compared to her co-workers, and she feared this lack of experience had to out her false identity. She tried to improve and to shift typing to other colleagues, but she realized that she failed the Guard in this regard: If she had been a quick typist, she could type documents for the Guard besides her official tasks. But they knew this when they hired you for this job.

On the other hand, when she was free of the typewriter, she had enough time to gather the bits and pieces the Guard wanted. The municipal office stored many police data Diana was to search up in the archives, at other times she could trip over some rumours regarding the forces’ next steps, both information valuable for protecting Scarlet Guard operatives. Not that she had any idea about their dangerous operations as information only ever flowed one way – away from her. Like before, Diana was to organize forms and permits the Guard needed, sometimes by stealing, other times by leaving a door open at the right time. Most intelligence she was to deliver to a drop box that changed location every week. Occasionally, a handler expected her for a briefing, and quickly, she learned to censor her words to avoid suspicion. Keeping her routes hidden was top priority, of course.

Diana had feared her absences, her inefficiency, would be noticed and chided, but soon she had realized her co-workers also stretched their tasks to fill their days, without trying to impress the Silvers for the small hope of promotion. Was there a point in trying? She guessed the real “Tina” would want to impress, to keep this position, about also that her co-workers would know better than her. The Silvers underestimated all Reds, and showed that to Reds every day.

That was why Diana had learned to freeze, automatically, lowering her eyes and putting on the vapid friendly smile, when a Silver entered the office. She saw more of them there than ever before in her life and the shock remained fresh for her. She was never able to anticipate their orders, either filled with stupid and offensive remarks, or random tasks the Reds had to figure out on their own, with little hints how much extra time they demanded. Those occasions were only sufferable because the colleagues stuck together, to distract or subtly calm an agitated Silver and to share the work.

The worst was that Diana was either invisible or a tool to be used or a doll to be stared at.

She hadn’t been aware how much it hurt, to be gawped at and not seen as a person but an object. There was one Silver, a middle-aged man with long brown hair and cold beige skin, who always looked at her in passing, harder than the others. He never said anything and every time, Diana felt her 15-year-old self like never before.

From her first day, she’d kept her knife on her person, firstly because she was used to it, later because it gave her reassurance.

No one there knew she was a young girl. No one knew her name. And she could never let anything slip. Not even in the dorm, where most of her roommates were in their mid- or late twenties, could she let go. She feared they’d smell her secrets as she claimed to be close in age yet always remained a little bit off. They even talked different from her.

She tried though. Gone out with them in their spare time, to roam the city. She couldn’t get used to it, the grey concrete everywhere, the air, the fragrances. There was a river, yes, and many canals and wells, but hardly green. And the convenience. She didn’t have enough coin to buy more than what she needed to live, but she saw enough – more than enough. Medicines, clothes, books, tools, even electronic devices were available in Trial, things she found at home only a few times a year when the right vendors bothered to visit Sieverling to sell their decidedly smaller offers.

Just the chance to buy these things at any time, to have them at hand when needed, made her envious, even though they were still unaffordable for most Reds.

“They’re traps, you know,” her handler, a young man in his mid-twenties with golden-brown complexion, said once. “The shops.”

“Hm?”

“They’re to tell us what we’re supposed to crave in the Silvers’ eyes, to ignore what we really need.”

Diana understood him, truly. But those were a city man’s words, not of a person who would’ve given – or paid – anything for an expensive medicine to save a life when purchasing that drug from another place took more time than a beloved, dying, person had left.

Diana remembered when her mother had a fever after Madeline’s birth. Papa had been devastated, but he’d gotten that antibiotic to help her, as the drug vendor had travelled on just to the next village. His own mother, he said then, hadn’t been so lucky when she suffered and died from pneumonia.

One rainy evening in late March, Diana wasn’t with her roommates when they went out. She continued to keep herself apart from them, being a stranger as the city remained a stranger to her.

One reason for that was the curfew. She just couldn’t grasp it. Lord Isère took few measures to control the private lives of the people of Sieverling, but a curfew would’ve been beyond ridiculous. Telling peasants – or hunters, like her parents – not to leave their houses at night, when the best time for work could happen to be in the dark? When an animal – or a sick person, for that matter – might be in need?

Diana knew what the curfew was for, to control the Reds. To remind them the place they lived in wasn’t their own.

She stared out of the window, into the rain and onto the wet street. Her roommates had ways to deal with the curfew, knew the right bars and places to sleep in. It should’ve been enough; Diana was alone, could forget her façade for a night and imagine she was in another place, with someone else. She missed her family, GIselle, her life so much. But she was angry tonight, full of energy and considering how lazy she’d become with her office work and lack of training sessions. She cursed at hiding herself. It was fifteen minutes until curfew, and she decided to go out for a jog.

She despised the first metres but she bit through them, pulling up her hood against the rain. She wore dark clothes, pants and a sweater, clothes she also put on when training at home. She ran on until she no longer felt the cold gushes of the weather and instead had the warmth of the runner’s high rise in her. Finally, she smiled. And squinting her eyes, she saw the two watchmen almost too late.

Cussing silently, she dashed into the next alleyway to avoid a pointless questioning. She had little idea where it led, seeing only puddles and shadows in the tight gap between houses, until two people emerged from the darkness, pressed against the wall.

No, one person pressed against the wall by the other. Diana stopped, yet a puddle splashed as she stepped into it.

“Another customer?” one of them hissed. It was the aggressor, the person holding the other, a boy, in place. A woman, it sounded like, and she turned her head to Diana, letting go of the boy.

The boy stayed fixed on the wall and Diana ceased to breathe.

The woman had to be another guard, a Silver. And, she realized as the rain formed into icicles, a shiver who was able to freeze liquid matter.

Dina only saw a pale face framed by hair turned dark from the rain as the Silver advanced at her. She prayed for her training to kick in, to tell her what to do. She fell into a defensive stance as the Silver slid on the puddles in the alley she’d turned into ice, along with the icicles in her hand she began to throw. Only then did Diana remember her lessons.

You can’t defend against a Silver. You can only attack.

The Silver was inched away from her when Diana changed position and kicked at the Silver’s leg, shattering her balance. Passing her opponent, Diana slid onto the ice puddle herself, grabbing her knife as she spun at the edge of the ice.

The Silver seemed stunned, for she hesitated. Diana’s mind ran miles but she had no time to search her memories for a shiver’s fatal weakness. She just knew how much their surroundings favoured the Silver, with all the water to freeze and turn into weapons. There were already new icicles, growing sharply around the Silver.

Diana moved forward, afraid the shiver would use the puddle to pin her place, like she’d done with the boy behind her. She ran, her left hand lifted to protect her face against the icy projectiles that pierced her belly instead.

She couldn’t stop. She charged, crashing into the Silver and lashing away her arm with the claws of ice taking shape around it. They both fell, and Diana buried her knife in the Silver’s chest.

She breathed heavily, on top of the Silver woman. She pressed a hand over the Silver’s mouth and nose to stop her from screaming.

It felt endlessly. The woman was dying and still, her ability, her last breaths, tried to freeze Diana’s skin. But it was no use, and finally, it was over.

Diana thought she must’ve dealt a lucky hit, punctured a lung. If she’d pierced the stomach, it would’ve been her who lost her life.

Suddenly, she heard a crack and the boy stood right behind her, shoving her away. Diana crouched on her haunches, staring at the hesitating boy. Then he ripped a bag open and threw powder over the body. “Go!” he spat at Diana, and turned to dash down the dark alleyway, on some path only he knew.

Diana didn’t follow. She got up, stepped out of the alley, and ran home.

A/N: This chapter finally delivers after you had to wait so long for the opening line of the first chapter to become relevant.

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