#there was a really good article that explained this really well and how so many people have and will lose jewish friends | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

roturo · 10 months

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Written All Over Your Face dick grayson x reader

→ summary: “Well, you know what they say, Love and Hate are two sides of a very, very thin line. For what I can see, you have a pent up sexual frustration written all over your face Dick.”

→ warnings: SMUT. p in v, unprotected sex (don't be dumb and wrap it), enemies to lovers, heroe!reader, breeding kink, bulge kink ¿?, not proof-read, possessive behavior, begging...

words: 2k

TUMBLR IS BASED ON A REBLOG SYSTEM. PLEASE REBLOG MY WORK. THANK YOU. ENJOY. SMUT BELOW THE CUT.

Being a heroe wasn't easy. Neither being considered a competition for Nightwing. The Ex-Robin. The Dick Grayson.

Both being ¨super-heroes¨ with no powers brought many controversial articles between you two, not only at the Gotham-Batman times, but also now at the new Titans times.

You never thought seeing him again and his boyish smile and attitude. No wonder why he has many girls falling for him, not only as Nightwing, but also as his real identity. But this rough times between the heroes, made the destiny bringing you together again.

Both of you had mutual friends, and when Dawn invited you to meet the new Titans, and asked you for help to train them, you never thought of seeing him again, neither of both of you training teenage kids how to become high quality-trained super heroes.

¨Sorry.¨ Were the last words you heard from Dawn, when she left you with bird boy at the training room, giving you an apologetic smile.

God bless her natural charm and being the trusting friend she is because you couldn't hit her face right now with the rage you're feeling.

¨Hi!¨ A green-haired boy said to you, he had the same, maybe not as pretty, boyish smile like Grayson. ¨Hello...?¨

¨Gar.¨ He told you, not putting down the smile.

With just a nod and a not so happy smile, your eyes moved into a purple-haired girl, who just smiled at you and said her name. ¨Rachel.¨ She hit the boy next to her with her elbow, murmuring his name.

¨Jason.¨ He said, ¨Is this your girlfriend Dick? Because she's pretty good looking for a guy like you. But yeah, what she's doing here anyways?¨

Oh. Yeah. Bird boy. He's here.

¨Yeah Grayson, what’s going on?¨ Completely ignoring the fact Dick was about to answer Jason’s question with furrowed brows and you obviously knowing why you're here since Dawn explained you. ¨And no, i'm not his girlfriend.¨ You looked at Jason with a smile which changed into a fake smile when your eyes returned to Dick. ¨He wishes.¨ You said, your head turning to the side, obviously trying to make him angry. At which he only scoffed, knowing you well enough to know what you were trying. ¨Yeah number two, maybe we can just pass at me explaining you why you´re here.¨

Number two? He WISHES.

¨I know why am I here. I don´t know if your little brain remembers you made Dawn bring me here to help you train this kids.¨ You got closer to him, not breaking eye contact. ¨And number two? pfft, If you were number one, maybe you wouldn't have been replaced by new Robin here.¨

That got him exactly where you wanted him. He might seem like a strong and rough guy, but behind all that image of big boy, there’s nothing else but trauma.

You couldn’t help but notice how his jaw clenched at the small giggle Jason let when you mentioned Dick being replaced. Side-eyeing him, Jason stopped. Dick sighed trying to calm himself down.

“First. I didn’t know Dawn brought you here, she just told me about bringing the perfect person to help me train them, I was not expecting you.” You could tell he was still angry at the remark, so he wanted to correct you. “Second. I didn’t got replaced. I left Wayne by choice of mine.”

“And third. I’m not longer Robin.”

It got into a really tense vibe between you and Dick trying to kill each-other with just your eyes, everyone in silence, clearly uncomfortable at this new encounter.

“Can both of you stop eye-fucking eachother and can we finally start the training?” Jason said, trying to bring both of you back to earth.

That clearly caught both of your attention to what Jason said, clearly annoyed at the wrong remark of how both of you were looking at each-other. “We’re not “eye-fucking” each-other Jason, stop getting into other’s people conversations.” With that, Dick started grabbing everything for the training of today, moving on. Jason just raised his arms at the air, (like when they’re showing they’re not armed), with a small smirk on his face.

“Well, you know what they say, Love and Hate are two sides of a very, very thin line. For what I can see, you have a pent up sexual frustration written all over your face Dick.”

That brought a hard, and big laugh to your face, how could Jason say that? This kids don’t even respect their “leader” This was going to be a funny training.

After what seemed like 1 hour of training, and getting to know the kids, you could get which were the flaws and weaknesses. Maybe you couldn’t understand quite well Rachel’s powers, but some time will do it.

You asked Gar where you could sleep the night, since it was already getting late and your most likely staying some days here, you'll also need some extra clothes at least for today.

Gar told you to stay in the spare room next's to Dick's, great, what a nice neighbor you have. He also gave you some clothes you could use tonight, tomorrow you could go back to your place and get some clothes, your skincare.... and I guess your super-hero suit.

When going out of the bathroom after a long shower (which you deserved), Dick was standing there, shirtless, all sweaty, and just with some grey sweatpants on... he looks.... nice, yeah. Obviously annoyed but when he saw you, his face turned into... panic?

He doesn't know what's happening to him right now, might be stress he needs to get relieved, yeah, sure, that's the reason he feels his pants getting tighter every-second he keeps looking at you right now.

¨Are you okay bird-boy why´re you just static over here, I know you have problems, but this a new one.¨ You looked up and down at Dick's figure, obviously checking him out, not like he needs to find out, noticing he´s quite handsome, not like you would tell him also, he's hot, and he knows it.

¨That´s... That´s my shirt¨ Was all that Dick could say, well, shit.

You knew the t-shirt had a distinct laundry soap scent which remind you of someone, and maybe a pint of perfume, but who could blame you?! Might be Gar's or Jason's!

¨And those... are my boxers.¨ double shit.

You could see he was obviously blushed and you're sure you are too, but what a coincide. It's like you could hear Rachel, Gar and Jason's laughing at the both of you.

¨Well... do want me to give them back at you?¨ You broke the tense silence, trying to take your, his, shirt-off, completely forgetting you're in front of him, you needed to find a way out of here.

¨No, no, no, stop! Leave it there, then you give it back to me.¨ He assured you, grabbing your hands and pulling them down with your, his? t-shirt. ¨And it looks better on you anyways.¨ That's all he said before speed entering to the bath-room.

¨Hey Dick!, Wait.¨ To say you couldn't feel the wetness of your pussy going out and asking for some relief, would be considered a crime. ¨What do you ne-¨ You cut him off by entering the bath-room closing the door in the process, both of your lips connecting in a perfect symphony like they were made for each-other. He left a sudden whine at the loss of the soft touch of your lips.

¨Oh.¨ Was all he could say, you don't understand what happened to you, it wasn't definitely a normal behavior between you two. ¨Oh my god. I'm so sorry Dick, I don't know what happened to me, i'm-¨ You couldn't finish the last sentence when you felt his lips in yous again. A little hesitant this time, he stops, unsure of his actions, but he lose it all. ¨Do it again.¨

That's all he needed to continue kissing you, hands caressing you neck, positioning them as a chocking posture, later going to trace your jaw as he continues kissing you.

He started giving you kisses trailing down your chin, making you moan at the specific spot that made your legs shake, he started leaving love bites between your chest, later going down on you, pulling your t-shirt upwards, getting between your breasts and marking them as his.

¨Please Dick... Please make me feel good.¨ It´s like something got into him when his hands started roaming your body like crazy, pulling your shirt off, your hand reaching his sweatpants, and later his cock, noticing he has no underwear under neat it. ¨It's like you were ready for this bird-boy, ah!-¨ Even when you try to tease him, he finds a way to tease you back even in a better way, his fingers playing with your nipple had you giddy and trembling. ¨Be a good girl if you want me to fuck you.¨

All you could do is nod and start stroking his hard cock, already leaking pre-cum which made the stroking easier, playing with the head had him as a moaning mess.

“Fuck, wait — shit. Mm— fuck. Wh-where did you learn to do that?” He left a whiny moan at the lose of your touch.

“Well, the noises you make are a pretty good indication of how you like it.” He man-handled you, turning you around, making you see yourself at the mirror.

“…God you sound so fucking cocky right now and it’s turning me on even more.” He ripped apart the boxers you were wearing. ¨Don't worry, I have plenty more.¨ Fuck him and his fucking pretty smile.

With no more waiting, he positioned himself, and started thrusting into you. He fits just right, and could touch all the places you couldn't reach.

“Let me know if I’m doing anything wrong, okay? I want to make you feel as good as possible.” Even when he's fucking your brains out, he finds a way to be that kind and nice guy he is.

“O-Okay.” Was all you could tell him, before & after some moans and whines from both of you, one specific thrust had you seeing stars.

His hand lingered down your tummy and he moaned at the bump he could feel, when he was going in and out with his thrusts. ¨Oh baby, I'm going to make you mine, fill you up.¨

He started playing with your clit, it had you crazy all the feelings of his body, his thrusts, him.

¨´You´re so good for me, all for me... 'm gonna' fill you up with my babies, 'm gonna make you a mommy, full of my cum every-day just to make sure.¨

That was all you needed to cum, with just some last thrusts he came inside you too, fulfilling his promise of keeping you full of his cum. He waited for you to calm down, before he inserted two of his fingers, recollecting the cum that was falling out your hole, inserting it inside you again, making you moan at the sudden intrusion.

He got the tub ready, and got you inside it, in front of him while he cleaned your sore body while kissing it.

¨I can't believe it took me all this years to realize how I feel about you.¨ Your heart was anxious at how your confession would be received.

¨Doesn't take an idiot to figure out. You couldn't tell I was and I am in love with you because you were too busy trying to beat all that rivalry. I was in love the moment you kicked my ass for the first time.¨

You chuckled at the confession, and laid your head on his shoulder where you could see his dumb smirk. ¨You have that stupid smirk on your face again, can't you have a serious conversation with me?, can we fight again?¨

He laughed at your comment ¨Not a possible thing for me when you look this cute all marked by me and confessing your feelings for me.¨ The small pecks he started leaving on your neck and back had you giggling.

¨I love you.¨

¨I love you too, bird-boy.¨

#dick grayson x reader smut #dick grayson smut #dick grayson #nightwing smut #nightwing x reader smut #dick grayson x reader #nightwing #nightwing x reader #titans x reader #titans smut #jason todd smut

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amysgiantbees · 4 months

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I just find it strange that the developers chose to rewrite Wyll. I love new Wyll I think he's fantastic and I don't necessarily want the previous version. But I find it bizarre that there was somehow so much negative feedback about old Wyll that they risked completely rewriting him.

Now I love all the companions. This is not Dragon Age Orgins where I debate recruiting Ogrun every time. But I just find it strange that the reason given was Wyll's negative feedback when most of the other characters have been unpopular too. Like Lae'zel is infamously unlikable to a great many people.

People love to bully Gale and there's even lines in game that call him pathetic. The DEV's in the IGN interview even agreed that Gale killing himself can be a good ending, " I really liked Gale setting off the bomb with the brain, and actually that felt like the right ending to me.

AS: In many ways it is, yeah." Which feels problematic to say the least, like I get supporting player choices but suicide is never the "right" way to do things.

Or even I'm pretty sure I remember Neil Newbon talking about how he was sure a lot of players had killed Astarion permanently in their playthroughs.

Then there are people being absolute freaks on the internet about Halsin all because he's polyamorous.

Like these characters are wildly popular too but they certainly have their haters. So why did they lack such confidence with Wyll? The best source I could find on early access Wyll is this article https://gamerant.com/baldurs-gate-3-wyll-early-access-story-change-karlach-explained/. It says that this change was made to make his story stronger, make him more unique, and give him more complicated emotional ties. Unless he was really basic before they did not accomplish this. He has less content so his story lacks the depth the other's do. It's also inconsistent, with you being able to put him off being a duke by telling him he'll be too power hungry which he has never been. His emotional ties are rushed. He never really confronts his father, having the tadpole do most of the work and never hashing out his feelings beyond that he's fine.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. According to the article he was meant to have a dark side like Shadowheart "According to the panel, depending on whether players allow him to go through with killing Karlach, he will become a radically different companion instead of if she is recruited." Which would have been cool but if they didn't have enough time to do that maybe they should have tweaked what they had.

Plus, according to the article in early access he was "a straightforward hero who develops a violent side regarding his patron or goblins." This article too show's that his early approval matches current Wyll pretty well except for dealing with Aunty Ethel and more goblin hate https://fextralife.com/baldurs-gate-3-early-access-companions-guide-wyll/.

I just don't know I just find it so frustrating that it was the black main character they chose to tweak and ran out of time to complete his story and still haven't fixed it with a patch. And in the IGN interview the devs kind of sounded like there wouldn't be anymore patches and it's just frustrating. Wyll deserves just as much content as any one else.

#dnd #bg3 #balders gate 3 #baldurs gate #bg3 wyll #wyll #wyll ravengard #myanalysis #larian pls #larian critical #larian why #bg3 meta

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wilbursoot-updates · 1 year

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Lovejoy is in this article!

Wake Up! Lovejoy are already a phenomenon

Squashed into a tour bus somewhere in Berlin are the biggest band that – unless you’re as chronically online as us, Dear Reader – you’ve maybe never heard of. With sold-out tours across the UK, Europe and North America, millions of monthly Spotify listeners and a spot in the UK Top 40 with their latest single ‘Call Me What You Like’, Lovejoy could be mistaken for veterans.

Far from it. Their first proper bit of press is, well, this very cover interview. They’re gearing up to release only their third (or maybe fourth, depending how you count their just dropped ‘From Studio 4’ collection, released under the name Anvil Cat) EP, ‘Wake Up & It’s Over’, and those sold-out tours? The first shows they’ve ever played. It’s rare this amount of hype surrounds a guitar band these days, so who the fuck are Lovejoy?

Formed during the early 2021 UK lockdown, Lovejoy consists of Will Gold as the frontman, Joe Goldsmith on lead guitar, Ash Kabosu on bass, and Mark Boardman on drums. Seemingly brought together by sheer luck, their epic ascent is the result of a lifetime of individual hard work and some serious fan devotion over the past couple of years.

It’s taken a while to pin the band down, and we catch them just after their first full UK tour as they embark on the European leg. It’s all been a bit of a whirlwind.

“I think it was our 32nd show yesterday, which is just nuts,” says Ash, who introduces himself as the one who doesn’t talk and proceeds to lead the interview. “Literally every show we’ve played, we’ve been like, ‘That was the best one!’ Then the next one, ‘Oh, that was the best one!’”

“I’ve especially been enjoying acclimating myself to not knowing where I’m going to be falling asleep every night,” says Will, “which is a very hard thing to get around. But it’s a lot of fun. I’m really enjoying it. And I love seeing everyone’s faces because we’ve been somewhat of a lockdown band. To now be able to put faces to the numbers is great; it’s lovely to see and speak to them.”

Describing their very first live shows at the end of 2022 as “teething”, Lovejoy admit they’re still getting to grips with it all. Although the size of their fanbase means they could’ve easily sold out bigger venues than the humble Electric Brixton they headed up on this tour, they didn’t want to skip steps for a good reason.

“Rock music has always been what me and Joe were the most interested in” -Will Gold

“We didn’t want to be bad,” says Ash, frankly. “It’s a completely different ballpark to just, you know, playing guitar in your bedroom, and there are so many moving parts and so many things you don’t think about that you need to learn and understand. We didn’t want to deliver a show to the fans that wasn’t good enough, so we’ve been deliberately ramping it up step by step and going through the process as naturally as possible.”

“It’s so much more personable and fun to make mistakes in front of a crowd of a couple hundred people who are along with you for the ride than when you start to get into the larger crowds,” adds Will. “Making a mistake, at least for me, really gets to me, but if I’m in a room with less people, and they’re there for the story, I feel more ready to make mistakes.”

Will and Joe cut their teeth playing with a folk punk band a few years prior to Lovejoy forming. After what Will describes as a “very dramatic first gig”, they went their separate ways, but his lust for live never went away. Finding one another at the beginning of the pandemic, Joe came to visit Will before the lockdowns kicked in and decided to sleep on the sofa rather than risking taking public transport back and forth to London.

“We wrote our entire first EP in my basement and very quickly decided we’re going to need a drummer and a bassist because all the stuff we were writing was band stuff,” Will explains. “It wasn’t our normal folk stuff that we were used to – and rock music has always been what me and Joe were the most interested in; even when we were in that folk band, we used to implore the lead singer if we could write some indie music please, and he would always be like, nah, not really into Arctic Monkeys actually.”

So they set out to find both a bassist and a drummer. Fate did its thing, and upon walking into a Smashburger in Brighton, Will met Ash, bass guitar in tow, and asked him if he’d like to be in a band.

“Ash is not one to say no to many exciting adventures,” says Will, “so he said yeah, and I gave him my address. Joe was very sceptical at first when I said I found a bassist in a burger shop.”

“I think for me personally,” adds Ash, “I’m living in Brighton – which is kind of a young, creative place – you often have conversations in pubs and places where people are like, we should do this, we should do that, and I genuinely thought that this was just another one of those conversations. Like, ‘Hey, I’m in a band, do you want to play?’ I never thought in my wildest dreams anything would even come of it. I didn’t even think we’d practice, let alone be playing shows in front of thousands of people.”

As for Mark, he was booked for the day via the freelancer hiring website Fiverr. When they couldn’t pay him the fee he was owed, they instead offered him a spot in the band.

“I said, look, you’re sick at this, do you want to just join the band?” Will explains. “Mark thought about it for a good five seconds and then said yes.”

“I was really determined, playing acoustic guitar and learning stuff from YouTube and Arctic Monkeys songbooks” -Joe Goldsmith

Echoing Ash’s sentiments, Mark recalls, “I thought it would be another band that I’d join that wouldn’t even release on Spotify. Now we’ve sold out tours in the UK, Europe, America….”

Life before Lovejoy was very different for most of the boys. Mark was at university studying editing, hoping to work in visual effects, letting drumming take the back seat. “It would have been a grind for like 40 years to get a good paying job, and Will came along and saved me. So I’m very grateful for that,” he says.

Ash was working in broadcasting as a producer for TV, a job he’d gotten into after studying film production at uni, and had taught himself animation as another means of income. “Unlike Mark, I actually enjoyed it,” he adds.

As for Joe, he was working as a tree surgeon, which is a flashier-sounding name than what the job actually entailed. “I was literally just cleaning up branches on the floor,” he says. “I wasn’t even allowed to go up the trees.”

Will isn’t such a stranger to the spotlight, as he edited for the YouTube channel SootHouse in the late 2010s, later creating his own channel as Wilbur Soot and amassing a sizeable following on the streaming platform Twitch (although the other boys say they had no idea about his following when they joined the band, Ash noting, “I just thought he was quite a tall, handsome man, we’re just here because we fancy Will”).

With the band assembled, they started recording together in Will’s bedroom. In early 2021, the UK was still firmly in lockdown, so with all studios closed, it was their only choice. When they finally made it to a studio, the group had two days to record five songs, the ones that would make up their first EP, 2021’s ‘Are You Alright?’.

“We didn’t get enough done,” says Will, “which is why the first EP actually has scratch vocals. We just used my draft vocals that are then doubled up and thickened out. And also because it would have been far too expensive to just keep going back.”

“Which is why, little easter egg,” adds Ash, “some of the lyrics are wrong. We don’t sing those anymore, so the fans get very confused when we perform some of the earlier songs.”

The whole journey has been a learning curve for all four members. With none of them coming from a proper musical background, there was no one to guide them in the process. “We kind of had to jump headfirst in and see what we can do off the back of it,” says Will.

That isn’t to say they haven’t put the work in, though. With each of the boys picking up their instruments in their childhood or teenage years, it feels like they’ve been setting up their own individual dominoes, hitting the ground running when they were knocked down in perfect formation.

“There’s a photo of me when I was a baby,” Mark begins, explaining where he got his start in music. “I couldn’t even walk, and I’m on my auntie’s lap, who originally taught me drums. I’ve been wanting to play since I could speak, basically, but we could never afford a kit. And then I got to about eight years old, my parents finally got me an electric drum kit, and my auntie started teaching me. I caught up with her quickly, which was crazy. I always wanted to be in a band, but I was thinking more realistically, it’s the same odds as becoming a famous football player or something like that. Then along came these boys, and it all changed.”

“I was really determined from when I was about 13, 14?” Joe recalls, “Playing acoustic guitar and just learning stuff from YouTube and Arctic Monkeys songbooks, working out tabs and things like that. I was pretty dead set on at least giving it a shot to try.”

Ash’s start was similar, learning to play guitar with his dad. “When I was very young, my dad found an old Spanish guitar in the attic of our family home that wasn’t ours,” he tells us. “I’ve kind of always played guitar, and I’ve always been interested in music; my dad is in a band as well, bless him, doing dad rock. It’s always been a part of me, but I never ever thought I’d do anything with it.”

“Not for me,” Will jumps in. “The minute I first started learning guitar, I was like, this is what I want. When I was a teenager, I used to follow around bands and go to all their shows, and I knew from that moment I want this as my creative outlet. This is where I want to put my creative energy. I literally remember I shut myself in my room and practised guitar for like ten hours a day in the beginning. I missed two summers doing that. To finally be in this position I’m in now, thanks to all the wonderful support we’ve gotten from people, a lot of them have come across from the YouTube space, is just absolutely humbling. I’m trying to give it back in any way I can.”

“I like to make rumours amongst the fan base; we’ve made up a bunch of nonsense” -Ash Kabosu

It’s fair to say Lovejoy have been pulled substantially further up the ladder by a deeply devoted fan base, but that’s part of what makes their trajectory so exciting. There hasn’t been a new guitar band that’s had venues bursting at the seams like this for a long time. Just two self-released (on their own label Anvil Cat via AWAL) EPs, debut ‘Are You Alright?’ and follow-up ‘Pebble Brain’ garnered enough love to have fans queuing around the block for hours on end when the live shows finally came. It’s reminiscent of what 5SOS were seeing at the start of their career ten years ago, or that other numbers band.

And the devotion goes both ways, too; Lovejoy play games with the fans, leaving puzzles on social media for the fans to solve, firing confetti with QR codes printed on every other piece out at their London headline show. Their involvement hasn’t gone unnoticed.

“Oh, man, I love them,” Ash gushes. “One of the best feelings for me is when we create something, even if it’s something as simple as a little photo shoot, the response is incredible. And to inspire other people to create through our creativity is just so rewarding. My favourite part of it is seeing the writing, the poetry, the paintings, the drawings, like all the art that comes back to us is incredible.”

Joe adds, “Every single person that I’ve met after a show or before a show, they’re all so respectful and all so lovely. And they’re just so generous.”

Ash continues, “They make such an effort and go out of their way to listen to the support bands’ music and show up for them; they show up on time and fill the place out for everyone. And then they go crazy jumping around and singing to everyone’s music, and that’s just so fucking cool.”

With new EP ‘Wake Up & It’s Over’ on the horizon, it’ll be their first proper release since 2021. A break away from recording to do the touring part of being a new band has led to Lovejoy’s longest writing phase yet and has played a part in shaping the sound of their new material. This time around, being able to take more time to record and more studio options, they’ve fined tuned their sound and brought it closer to their personal ideal.

Aiming for something a little heavier this time, the boys wanted to pull in their individual influences more drastically. For Will, that’s shouty British lyrics and overdriven guitars (he calls Arctic Monkeys the most famous example), with Ash also growing up on the late 2000s indie of Foals and Bombay Bicycle Club. Mark, on the other hand, was introduced to bands like Bring Me The Horizon and Asking Alexandria by his sister at a young age, pushing him into heavier territory when it came to discovering his own tastes and allowing the band to take on the slogan of ‘the only indie band with a double kick drum’. (Joe simply adds, “In the words of Brandon Flowers, it’s indie rock and roll for me.”)

Opening track ‘Portrait of a Blank Slate’ pulls in those influences most brazenly, employing the mathy Foals-y lead guitar, ‘Favourite Worst Nightmare’ era Arctic Monkeys fiddly bass, and wordy vocals a la The Wombats. “I can’t wait to play that for thousands of people,” says Joe.

They’ve been road-testing some of the other tracks too, the poppier (see: jumpier) ‘Consequences’ and ‘Warsaw’, as well as the single ‘Call Me What You Like’, but the rest have been kept a secret, one track particularly well.

Initially beginning the recording of this EP late last year, the boys weren’t 100% satisfied with the tracks. Having already played some of the tracks live, fans developed a particular affinity for one called ‘It’s Golden Hour Somewhere’, and up until the EP drops, have been under the impression it isn’t going to be released.

“I like to make rumours amongst the fan base,” says Ash, “I sort of said yeah, it’s scrapped, we just don’t like it, it’s not up to scratch, it doesn’t fit the nature of the EP, blah, blah, blah. We’ve just made up a bunch of nonsense. And they’ve bought into it. And as I expected, they’re also campaigning to bring it back. We’ve seen signs at shows saying ‘PLAY GOLDEN HOUR’. It’s just a bit of fun, and I think the relief and the excitement they’ll feel on the day that it comes out to just see it in the tracklisting will be worth it. I think for the amount of time that the fans have been waiting, we want it to be as special as possible.”

Even with ‘Call Me What You Like’ landing at No.32 on the UK Top 40 – an enormous feat and a rarity for a new band these days – it’s still what the fans think that means the most to Lovejoy.

“It was very validating to see it go that far,” says Will. “I think that was our longest-ever lyric writing time; we had the tune down for about ten months before I even penned the lyrics that ended up going in the final release. To see that time pay off is amazing, but we had no idea it would get that reception. It’s more important that our fans really love what we’re putting out. We’re aiming to create music that will really connect with our fan base, and you know, we’ll give them back what they’ve given us.”

With formative years that any new band would dream of, a knockout first tour and an audience hungry for more, Lovejoy are keen to maintain the hype. Currently using soundcheck time to write new material, every spare hour is used wisely while they’re on the road, Ash hinting they’ve already got new songs saved up for when they return home. This summer, they’ll be hitting the festival circuit, playing Reading and Leeds for the first time and undoubtedly not the last. The path may not be fully paved yet, but it’s definitely leading somewhere exciting.

Will says, “We’ve felt that wave of energy from the audience singing our words back at us, and that’s really influenced my lyrical style and our music instrumentally, which took a lot longer. 2022 was a sort of foundational year; I feel like this is the launch in 2023 into this next era of Lovejoy.”

#thanks for spending actual money on this one mia lmao #lovejoy #wilbur soot #ash kabosu #mark boardman #joe goldsmith #articles #dork magazine

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oldshrewsburyian · 6 months

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Any thoughts on *why* so many people are subliterate now? Is the educational system really that much worse than it was even 15-20 years ago? Or is the tsunami of information we all live with too much to deal with? Or is there something else going on?

...I do have Thoughts on this, actually! Quite a few of them! And I suspect that the answer to your slate of options might be: D, all of the above. I will address your points out of order (sorry.)

B: As for the information tsunami/superhighway, I don't think it's to blame in itself. As the president of an academic organization said at the biennial conference in 2016, "Nous lisons de plus en plus, mais nous lisons autrement" (we read more and more, but we read differently.) It says something about what he meant and about that particular historical moment that I was live-tweeting. And obviously I'm not saying that reading the internet is bad (I read the internet all the time.) But I do think that it facilitates habits of minimal, shallow, or superficial reading, and I do think that's a problem. I once had a student say--in class!--that the historical essays I assigned were challenging for him because he's more used to reading tweets. I stared at him for several long seconds before saying "Then this is good practice for you." I also had a very sweet student in a first-year college seminar who just had no clue how sentence mechanics worked, so I had to find a gentle way of asking, in office hours, "Do you... read at all? for fun?" "Oh, I read all the time," said this sweet student confidently, and my own reading habits enabled me to counter: "Fanfic or published works?" And yep, that's your problem right there. Obviously I read and write fanfic myself. But reading principally fanfic is a great way not to learn how grammar works.

A: in the US? ...yeah, it kind of is, actually, which is horrifying. Like a lot of the rest of my demographic (educator, xennial, NPR devotee,) I listened to the APM podcast Sold A Story. In going to find you the link, I found bonus episodes which I also highly recommend, in part because they include criticisms of the podcast and notes on policy. But what this podcast describes also tracks with my experiences in two very grim years when I tutored reading at the elementary/middle school level, and also found reading comprehension to be a weak link in ACT/SAT prep.

C: this brings us to "something else going on?" And I don't know what that is. But even my college students who can read at a basic 6th-grade level (sob) seem to have really stunted capabilities for inference. I ask them to make inferences and they look at me with the heartbreaking expressions of confused dogs. Or they'll see something blindingly obvious and say things like "Could this... possibly be...?" and I say brightly: "Yes! that's absolutely what it is! good job!" instead of saying: "What the **** else would it be?" Sometimes an entire class of students will read something without comprehension and subsequently thank me for "explaining" a text when all I have done is paraphrase it. And we're not talking academic articles here; we're talking 2-4 page excerpts of primary sources selected with TLC for a target audience of beginning college students. So far I have not snapped and screamed, "I didn't explain shit!" But I do find myself having to, well, explain that explanation would mean digging deeper into the text. I also find myself puzzled and alarmed by the fact that they don't seem able to identify or describe what they find challenging. If I had a nickel for every time I've heard "Just the entire thing was confusing"...! I've modified entire courses to try to get students more of the reading practice and additional skills they need. I'm not sure how much it's helping.

I really wish I had more answers. What I do have is a lot of despair.

#asks and answers #adventures in academia #reading #subliteracy

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kimbappykidding · 5 months

Text

Imagine having a crush on your MC partner Yunho

You'd had a crush on Yunho for a while. You were in a sister company to Ateez and so had crossed paths numerous times and were always stunned by him. At first, you thought it was just because he was physically very impressive. He was so tall but also knew how to carry himself and looked like some celebrity model. So every time you trailed off when he walked by you claimed it was because of that but your members weren't having any of it. "Y/n you weren't checking his height out you were checking him out!" one of them said and you blushed. "No! I was just seeing how broad his shoulders really are" you tried but they all shut you down with how much you were blushing. Eventually, you just stopped arguing that you weren't attracted to Yunho and admitted you were. Your members could all understand why and agreed he was very good-looking but when they found out about his personality they realised he was perfect for you!

Similar to Yunho, at first glance you were quieter and “normal” but once anyone got to know you they found you were funny, mischievous and had a habit of cheating or messing around. So when you finally went on the radio show with Ateez and your members saw this side of Yunho they were thrilled. You were surely the perfect match and they were sure you’d both realise that if you were in front of one another. So they decided the two of you had to be put together and when a spot came up to MC with an Ateez member they suggested you straight away. You agreed, figuring out of all of Ateez you wouldn't get Yunho and then found out he was hosting with you. Your girls all claimed it was fate and you disagreed but were shocked at the coincidence...and excited.

You were nervous to be working with him but the time rolled around in no time and you were right in front of him. You forgot how tall he was. You were slightly above average height-wise but compared to Yunho that was nothing. Only when he bowed did he actually come near your height and when he stood up you were barely to his shoulders. "It's really nice to meet you" Yunho said after introducing himself "I know we’re obviously aware of one another but I'm excited for us to be actually working together". "Me too" you smiled “we’ve crossed paths so many times but never got to work together so this should be fun!”. Yunho nodded “yeah I can’t believe it’s taken us this long to work together, we’ll have to make the most of it hey?” he asked shooting you a gorgeous smile that made you pause but luckily Yunho moved on quickly. "Is it true you recorded all the lines for your latest title track Diadem in just one shoot? You didn't have to redo any?". You stared at him in shock "yes it is, how did you hear that?". "I saw an article about it and thought it was so impressive because that song has some really hard notes. You must be an amazing vocalist". You blushed "thank you, I guess I was just having a really good day". "I'm sure it was all you" he said with another beautiful smile and you couldn't stop smiling all through the shoot.

Afterwards, the producers congratulated you both, saying you worked really well together and Yunho thanked them. You got your mic packs removed and were going to find Yunho to say goodbye to him when he beat you to it. He appeared behind you and gently said your name. "I'm going to head off but wanted to say it was so nice working with you and here" he passed you a piece of paper "that's my number, I thought it'd be a good idea to exchange numbers in case one of us is running late or anything but you don't have to give me yours if you don't want to". Blushing lightly you shook your head "no that's a great idea, I'll text you the minute I get my phone" and Yunho smiled "looking forward to it, see you next week" and he left, leaving you feeling like you were walking on air. When you saw your members they were all thrilled by your chemistry and when you explained everything else they were ecstatic. "He was flirting with you! He likes you!" one member cried but you calmed them down the best you could. "Yes I think he was flirting and being nice but that's probably just his personality. It doesn't mean anything". The girls claimed you naturally fit together though and said things would be different by the end of the award show season. You didn't let yourself get excited but hoped they were right. The night before you were next due to MC Yunho texted you asking how your week had been. You replied telling him it had been exciting as you were getting ready to do your first fully English song and asked how his week had been. You chatted all evening and it only ended when Yunho was going to bed. He told you he had to sleep now and wished you a goodnight. You texted him back feeling all fluttery and couldn't wait to see him the next day. You showed up early to the show and Yunho was there early too. You sat next to each other in hair and makeup and talked the whole way through which was odd for you. You were talkative but not usually so soon after meeting someone. It took you a while to feel comfortable with someone but Yunho had such a nice happy energy. You felt instantly at ease with him and he was super easy to talk to. It was slightly intimidating given how good he looked, especially after hair and makeup, but then he'd smile and you'd feel comfortable again. This week's show was even better because you were both more familiar with one another and your chemistry was even stronger. The director was so pleased with you and wouldn't believe that the two of you weren’t friends before this. "You seem effortlessly close like old friends" he said and Yunho shrugged "there are just some people who you meet and it feels like that. That's just me and Y/n" hanging an arm around your shoulder and you blushed vividly. You were so pleased with how things were going and the slight flirting was driving you crazy. You knew your attraction to him had morphed into a full-on crush. You were falling for Yunho and you were making no effort to slow yourself down. Once the director walked away Yunho told you there was a party tomorrow tonight that his members were organising and he invited you and your members. "It'd be cool to hang out outside of work" he said and you were sold. "I'll check with the girls but I'm sure we'll be there" you smiled and Yunho looked genuinely really pleased. The girls all agreed to come quote "because there was no way they were missing out on this" and so you arrived as a full unit. Hongjoong was at the door and you worried he might not know you were invited so got your text from Yunho ready as proof of your invite but he smiled when he saw you. Y/n and Demeter!" he smiled addressing your group name "it's so great to have you all here! Please come in" and he waved you all inside. "So are all of Ateez just super nice?" one of your members asked and you shrugged "I have no idea I've only spoken to Yunho". "Well he clearly speaks about you to the others" one of your members said shooting you a smile and you blushed before someone called your name making you turn even pinker.

"Y/n you made it!" Yunho called and turned to see him heading straight for you. He had his arms open and gave you a hug which felt really nice. "Yeah of course" you said "I never asked though is it a special occasion? Someone's birthday or something?". "Nope" Yunho smiled "just an excuse to throw a party...but Wooyoung will probably try and tell you it's his birthday so if he does just ignore him" he told your members whom all nodded laughing. "So Yunho Y/n tells us you've been having a lot of fun MCing together" your leader said and you tensed but Yunho just smiled. "Yeah so much fun! From day one we just got on really well and the directors are very pleased with our performances". "I can see why you're both so natural together" your leader continued and you shot her a warning look but again Yunho smiled "I know right it's so great when that happens" and he smiled at you making your angry mood swiftly turn into happiness. Your member smirked seeing how you couldn't seem to be angry around the cute tall boy and knew they'd be teasing you about that later. Yunho got you all a drink and stayed with you for a while before leaving to help Seonghwa move some chairs. When he went all your members shot you smiles and you tried not to look at them. "Y/n he's even better than you said" your leader said and you blushed "he's just perfect right? See why I can't tell him I have crush on him? Someone as great as him must have girls lining up down the street". "Yeah but they're not you" one of your members said nudging your arm and the others agreed. "Y/n you are smart, funny, sexy, strong and so talented! Yunho would be so lucky to have you". "Plus the two of you have amazing chemistry which he picked up on! He's aware of how great you go together". "Yeah but as work colleagues, not as a couple". "If you can get along as friends that's the first step" your leader told you and you nodded "well for now I'm very happy being his friend" and they decided if you were happy so were they...but someone else was very excited "Guess what I heard!" San called bounding over to his members and Yunho winced "San how much have you had to drink?". "A lot but that's not what's important...guess what I heard!" he whined. Yunho sighed "I don't know, what did you hear?". "I heard Y/n talking with her members about how perfect you were and how she's got a crush on you". Yunho sat up taller "what? When?". "Like 5 minutes ago. I stuck around to eavesdrop and then hurried to come tell you". Yunho frowned "San you shouldn't spy on people" and he nodded "I know I know but aren't you glad I did? Y/n's super pretty and you like her right?". Yunho blushed nodding "yes" and San smiled "so what's the problem? Go ask her out!". Yunho looked down "I don't just want to rush into anything San. We've got 6 weeks left to MC together and just because she has a crush on me doesn't mean she wants to date me. She could've just meant she likes my outfit or something...either way I don't want to go in too fast. I'm enjoying getting to know her and there's no way we have to label it so quickly". San nodded "you're scared" making Yunho blush because he was. When Yunho first saw you he was stunned because he thought you were so pretty. This was back when your group first debuted and his eyes went to you each time he saw you. When you came on the radio show he gravitated towards you and found himself sitting up anytime you talked. However you weren’t too talkative in groups and when you left Yunho always wanted more. So he finally caved and watched videos of you and your group. That clinched it for him. You looked effortlessly cool but your personality was so different and he loved that. He loved people who seemed really intimidating but were huge softies, that was kind of how he was and it immediately made him warm to you. When he heard you were MCing he volunteered to be your partner and Hongjoong and Seonghwa smiled at him but didn’t say anything. Yunho’s heart sped up when he saw you the night of the first show and he bowed just to hide his face from you. He was nervous you wouldn’t like him but then your chemistry was something you didn't even have to try with and it all just seemed to fall into place perfectly...a little too perfectly. Yunho was worried you might be too good as friends and that’s all you saw him as. He didn't want to ruin your energy by stepping too far too soon. He figured he'd flirt with you more to work out if that was an option and get to know you more. After that he’d act but honestly he was scared, San had hit the nail on the head.

Yunho sighed "you know what? Yeah I am scared to ask her so please don't tell anyone about this, not even Wooyoung". San pouted because he never kept secrets from Wooyoung but he reluctantly agreed "fine" and Yunho smiled "thank you San". San rushed away and Yunho watched him go before his eyes fell on you. You were across the room talking to your members and you looked so comfortable and happy. Yunho blushed realising if San's words were true you liked him. He couldn’t believe you'd noticed him and decided he was an attractive guy. That thought made him so happy and also a little nervous. He'd kind of dated before but he'd never felt this giddy about anyone and this felt different. You looked up and saw him. You looked down blushing and Yunho blushed too. He waved to you for something to do and you waved back. Yunho smiled and went to go find his members so he could hide behind them. The following week you were at your MC job and Yunho had done a great job of pretending he didn't know you liked him. However, there would be times that caught him off guard. He'd see you out of the corner of his eye and notice how beautiful you were or hear your voice and blush thinking this girl liked him. It was a lovely comforting thought to have and in those moments he struggled to pretend he didn't know. Luckily you hadn't noticed but Yunho knew he couldn't keep it up forever. After the show, you congratulated each other on another successful run. The manager suddenly appeared and said a friend of his was a fan and wanted to speak with you. The man appeared and launched into why he was your superfan. Yunho walked away to give you space and chatted with the staff waiting for you to finish. However, 10 minutes later you still weren't done. The man was still talking tons and you looked like you couldn't get a word in edgeways. Yunho got this man was probably thrilled to meet his idol but you were clearly trying to leave and he wouldn't let you. Yunho came closer and heard the man saying something about a restaurant. "We could go there my treat and I can tell you more of my suggestions" he said. "That's really kind but I already have plans" you said and spotted Yunho. "Oh doing what?" the man asked clearly calling your bluff. Yunho saw you blank and stepped forwards "Hey Y/n do you want me to grab your bag from your dressing room so we can make our reservation?". The man turned and saw it was Yunho. "I'm so sorry am I making you late for something? Please go" and he bowed letting you leave. "Thank you! you whispered to Yunho as you walked away and he nodded "no problem, you looked like you needed help getting rid of him. What were his suggestions?". You made a face "oh you know ways I can be a better idol. He was giving me fashion tips and telling me to go on a diet". Yunho's eyes widened "he did not!". "Yep! He claimed I was perfect but could be improved". "Well then you're not perfect if you can be improved" Yunho said before realising what he said "not that I think you're not perfect...I mean nobodies perfect but I think you're as close as it gets". You blushed "I'm not but thank you" you said "it was really cool of you to pretend we had plans". "Yeah no problem but I was wondering...do you have plans? Because if not maybe we could do something?". "I don't" you said "what do you want to do?". "Maybe go grab food? I'm starving". You smiled "food sounds great". You ended up grabbing the last table at a restaurant around the corner. You got a nice place in the back where it was quieter and more private. You realised in that moment you'd never been properly alone with Yunho. There had always been staff or other members with you but here it was just the two of you. You were sat across from this beautiful guy and you blushed a little as you realised that. Yunho noticed and smiled "what? Is there something on my face?". "No I erm just thought of something". "What?" Yunho asked laughing and you decided to be truthful but not completely. "I just thought if people from my school could see me now they'd be so surprised. An amazing career, cool MCing job and sat here with you...very surprised indeed". Yunho chuckled "so was school not your favourite time?". "Not at all" you laughed "I was the weird music kid always singing under her breath with braces for 5 years and sucked at everything that wasn't creative. They found out I wanted to be a singer and used to tease me about it". "Well look who got the last laugh. You're a beautiful, successful idol whom they get to watch on tv each week". You laughed "that's true" and Yunho held out his glass "let's toast to our success. To being great MCs for our remaining shows" Yunho said and you clinked glasses. After your meal, Yunho asked if you wanted to get a drink at this nice bar nearby to celebrate your successful runs and you agreed. However It was a little louder than expected and you were slightly overwhelmed. Yunho was searching for a table with you following when he was engulfed by men. You were scared he was being attacked until you realised they knew one another. Yunho greeted them all before introducing them to you as friends from his school. They invited you to join them and they seemed nice but you didn't want to sit with a big group. Especially as it seemed like a lad's night and you'd be the only girl. So you were all ready to have an excuse to leave when Yunho declined their offer. "Thanks but I think we'll go find a table together". "Hey I don't blame you she's stunning" his friend said with a wink that made you blush "see you around". Yunho turned to you slightly pink and smiled "so should we find a table in the back somewhere quiet?" and you agreed. Once you'd got seated you could still see Yunho's friends and any time they passed you they greeted you both but especially you. It wasn't creepy and they were actually quite funny, the one who winked at you in particular was hilarious and you smiled as he made faces to you as he passed your table. Yunho noticed and turned to you. "You know my friend Wei, he's a nice guy. I noticed you blush when he winked at you...I could give you his number if you liked?" Yunho asked and you blushed once more. Yunho laughed "is that a yes?". You laughed "no I just blush easily. He seems like a nice guy but he's not my type". Yunho once again couldn't resist and leant forwards "oh? So what is your type?". You froze and Yunho realised San had been telling the truth. You were into him! He also realised he'd put you in an awkward spot so smiled "should I go first? I like girls who are funny, kind and who it just feels natural with. Who I have natural chemistry with". You blushed as he said that "yeah it's nice when you don't have to force it". Yunho nodded "like between us" and you nodded "yeah we work well together". "I see it beyond work though" Yunho said "do you?". You nodded "yeah" and Yunho smiled "I'm pleased to hear you say that because if I'm being honest...my ideal type is you". You blinked "it is?" and Yunho nodded "yes. When I found out I was MCing with you I was really excited because I've always found you very beautiful. Then when we had such a natural chemistry I couldn't believe it". You blushed "I couldn't believe it either because I felt the same way". Yunho smiled "I might've had an inkling about that". You cringed "oh no was I really obvious?". Yunho shook his head "no my friend is nosey" and he explained about San. "Why did you never say anything?" you asked and Yunho shrugged "I wanted to let you act on it on your own. I didn't want to pressure you or let you know that I knew in case you got embarrassed". You blushed shaking your head "and they say being a nice guy never gets you the girl" and kissed him.

After that you and Yunho started dating and you still couldn't believe you'd managed this. Your members all screamed when you told them and then assured you, you deserved this. When you next saw Yunho you worried he'd change his mind or something but the smile he gave you banished any thoughts of that. You grabbed a coffee a few hours before you had to be at the show to MC and was hurried over to you when he saw you. "I'm so pleased to see you, you look amazing" he said hugging you and you smiled hugging him back "so do you! I thought black was your colour but now I'm thinking it might be every colour". Yunho chuckled "you're one to talk, come on let's go inside" and he took your hand leading you inside. MCing together now you were dating was actually quite fun. Every look between the two of you was exciting and exhilarating because there was this secret that nobody around you knew but you. Yunho could make you feel special with just a look and the hardest part was trying not to blush when he smiled at you. You were interviewing NCT127 on your fifth week and you thought it was going great. The boys seemed to like you and were bantering with you but you noticed Yunho didn't seem as happy. Just from how he was standing you could see how tense he was and frowned. In the commercial, you asked Yunho if he was okay and he nodded but had to rush away for hair touch-ups. When he returned he was better but you could tell something had bothered him so after the show you went to find him in the Ateez dressing room. The guys saw you and called out to you in greeting. Yunho spotted you and smiled "hey, you okay?". You nodded "I was coming to ask you the same thing". Yunho frowned "you noticed that huh?" and you nodded "is everything okay?". He sighed "come on" and looked for a private space. The only one was the dressing room so he led you in there and closed the door. It wasn't big so you were facing one another not too far away but all that was on your mind was whatever was bothering Yunho.

"So what's wrong? I'm worried" you said and Yunho immediately reached out for you. He put his hands on your arms "Y/n you don't have to worry about me". "But I do because you're my boyfriend" you said and Yunho smiled at that before it dropped "well I hope you still are after this" and that worried you. You were expecting the worst when Yunho said "I was jealous seeing you with NCT". "What?" you asked after staring at him confused for a few seconds "why?". "Because the guys all liked you and Taeil was flirting with you so much". "He wasn't...was he?" you asked and Yunho shrugged "I thought he was, he definitely checked you out when he came onto set". You paused "I didn't even notice because I was so focused on you". Yunho blushed "that makes me feel so special...I knew I had no reason to be jealous. You're a good person and I trust you but I...sometimes I feel really insecure and worry I'm not good enough for you". "I feel the same thing...well not the same! That I'm not good enough for you" you clarified and Yunho looked at you "really? but you're so much hotter than me!". "I beg to differ" you said smiling at him "but it's a relief to know you feel those things too". "Definitely" Yunho said "are we just intuned in everything". "Hmmm let's see" you smiled "what's going through your mind right now?". Yunho looked at your lips and smiled "that I really want to kiss you". "Ditto" you replied and kissed him. The two of you had kissed before but never this passionately and neither of you wanted to stop. Being trapped in a small space helped push you together and the pent-up stress and tension from the day also didn't hurt. Yunho looked so good in his shirt and all day you'd been wondering what it'd feel like to touch it so you gripped it with both hands and pulled Yunho closer. Yunho seemed to love this and slid his arms around your waist holding you flat against him. "Yunho we're leaving" Hongjoong called abruptly ending your makeout and you both jumped apart. "Yunho?" Hongjoong called again and he nodded "yeah we'll be one minute". Yunho was breathing heavily and when he looked at you he laughed "that was fun". You smiled "it was, I want to do it again". Yunho smiled "we're heading straight home. Do you want to come with us? No pressure on going any further or doing what we just did I just thought it might be nice..." Yunho was saying when you took his hand "yes" and he smiled. The guys didn't bat an eyelid when he said you were coming with them and on the way to the car you chatted with Yeosang and Mingi. Yunho watched you with a happy expression and someone chuckled. He turned to see Seonghwa and Hongjoong beside him. "Sorry if I was interrupting something back there" Hongjoong said and Yunho blushed "it's okay, a dressing room in a room full of people is never the best spot". The two agreed and Seonghwa smiled seeing the joy on Yunho's face "you two are happy aren't you?". Yunho nodded "very much, I know it's early and everyone at this stage feels amazing but there's just something about her that I can't get enough of. That makes me excited every time I see her...I really like her". As it happened, you looked back right at that moment and caught Yunho looking at you. You both blushed and smiled at one another. "Well I think it's clear she feels it too" Hongjoong smiled and Yunho hoped he was right. When you got home San and Wooyoung started organising a drinking game so you agreed to join in. You and Yunho sat together and he told you anything you didn't want to drink, he'd handle. He hung an arm around the back of your chair and was so sweet and protective. The alcohol just made you want him more and when the first game ended you nudged his leg. He got the message and told the guys you were heading off. They all waved you off some following you as Yunho led you upstairs. His room was nice and tidy. You looked around it seeing a bit of him everywhere and smiled "good first impression". "Would you have dumped me if it was a mess?". "Maybe" you joked and Yunho came towards you "then I'm really glad I tidied up in here" and you nodded "I'm really glad too" and kissed him. You'd been thinking about kissing him ever since you broke away earlier and it was worth the wait. You got right back into a rhythm and you wondered if you'd ever want to do anything other than just kiss Yunho. A jacket was blocking your access to Yunho's shirt and when Yunho realised what your hands were trying to do he happily shrugged it off and you resumed. You trailed your hands across his chest feeling the muscle there and couldn't believe this boy was yours. Yunho jumped as your hand trailed across his peck and you pulled back to make sure he was okay. "Sorry was I being too hands-on?" you asked. Yunho shook his head "not at all I really liked it" he said his voice nice and deep and you smiled. "I can take it off if you want?" he offered and you blushed but nodded. So clothes started coming off and when Yunho's breath started getting really ragged you pulled away. "Yunho” you said "do you want to keep going? Or just stay here". "Keep going...if you do?" he asked and you laughed "yes so catch" and you jumped. Yunho did catch you and you wrapped your legs around his waist. Yunho smiled "I like this". "I feel tall" you laughed and he smiled "I'm going to be making you feel lots of things" and he carried you over to the bed to fulfil his promise. *** Your final show together was due to happen in 1 week and you were both sad about it. "I know we'll see each other all the time but I like working with you" you said to Yunho one morning and he smiled "I have too. If any other opportunities come up we'll have to gear them". You nodded "totally". "I'll miss you" Yunho said "is that stupid considering we're dating and see each other each week?". "Not at all" you said "you're so cute" you said and Yunho smiled "if you say so" and kissed you. Your final run came quickly and of course the show seemed to zoom by. It went really well and before you knew it you were onto the last segment. You knew there would be gifts because that always happened but you saw Yunho had obviously had something to do with them this time. You'd told Yunho once in a throwaway comment that you liked blue galaxy orchids because you thought they looks so cool and beautiful and that was the bouquet you were given. You gasped when you saw them and looked to Yunho who was smiling widely, his eyes glued to your face for your reaction. "They're beautiful! They're my favourite! Thank you so much" you said taking them and the other hosts smiled watching you. "We also got you a little present inside" another host said and you looked into the bouquet to see small white box. You opened it and inside was a small turtle pendant which you could wear on a necklace. You'd also told Yunho you loved turtles and here he was showing you he listened to everything you said! You couldn't wait for the cameras to end so you could throw your arms around him. As soon as they called cut you did just that! You pulled Yunho to one side so the other idols couldn't see and hugged him. "Yunho this was all amazing! You didn't have to do all this..." you said looking down at your flowers. Yunho smiled "I know but I wanted to. This hosting run has meant a lot to me before it we barely knew one another and now...now we're together" he said with a smile "so I wanted to commemorate it". "But I didn't get you anything" you said with a frown and Yunho took your hand "you don't need to, trust me you've already given me so much. The perfect gift some might say" he said and you chuckled "you're so smooth. How do you come up with all these lines?". "You inspire me" he replied and kissed you. You both wanted to just run off together but had to go to the afterparty to thank all the idols you'd interviewed and see anyone who'd supported you. So you entered, agreeing to give it one hour and then be done. You started with your members and then got some drinks with your other hosts and idols started coming over including NCT 127 from your infamous interview. All the boys came over and you were talking to Mark and Yuta while Taeil spoke to another host. So you figured Yunho had been wrong because Taeil clearly wasn't interested in you...and then he appeared. Mark had gone to get a drink, Yuta going with them and when that space opened up Taeil appeared. He smiled when he saw you and he had a very nice smile so you smiled back. "Congratulations!" he said "you did such a great job, you should be really proud of yourself". You smiled "thank you, for your compliment and your part in it. You were the perfect interviewee and the fans really loved your interview". Taeil shrugged "An interviewee is only as good as his interviewer, it was all you really". You smiled "you're too modest" and Taeil shrugged "or I just think highly of you. Are you considering hosting again because if you are I'd really like to be your partner". You were debating your answer, trying to find a polite way to shut him down without shooting him down when you felt a hand on your waist. "Well I hate to disappoint you but you might have competition" Yunho said and Taeil laughed. "Ahh I see, she was such a good partner you can't wait to work with her again?" he asked. Yunho smiled looking at you "definitely and I'm a little biased towards her for personal reasons". You could see Taeil debating everything in his head, his eyes darting towards Yunho's hand around you and so you decided to help him out. You hooked your hand through Yunho's and smiled "we're together". "No way! Congratulations!" Taeil said "that's so cool, we're you together before this?". "Nope, I'd had a crush on her before but this brought us together" Yunho said. Taeil smiled "that's really great and I totally get you're first in line but if you ever need a friend to team up with let me know" Taeil said and with a smile he left. Yunho began to panic the moment Taeil left because he knew he'd kind of forced you into that. While the two of you weren't actively keeping your relationship a secret you also hadn't talked about when you'd reveal it and Yunho had never checked with you. So he expected you to yell at him or storm away feeling blind-sighted but you did neither of those even though they were well within your right. You just looked at Yunho with a smile "fancy a dance before we leave?" and he nodded, leading you to the floor still feeling shaky. Once you started dancing the world faded away and Yunho sighed "I'm sorry for outing us to Taeil, I just got territorial". You smiled "I know but it's okay". "You're not mad?" Yunho asked and you shook your head. "I think you mgiht've been right about Taeil and you weren't rude overbearing. You didn't come in yelling or announce it right away. There was time for me to tell you to back off and I didn't mind Taeil knowing". Yunho sighed "that's such a relief because I know we didn't discuss when we were going to tell everyone and I wouldn't ever want to make you do something you're not ready for". You shook your head "you didn't, I'm happy for people to know we're together". Yunho smiled "well in that case...there's a room full of people and I can think of a surefire way to let them all know". You smiled and leaned up to kiss him. Idols all across the room noticed in different ways. Your members squealed and smiled happily. Ateez were proud of Yunho and all grinned, knowing they were going to tease him about this later. NCT nudged Taeil figuring he'd be pissed but he told them all truthfully that there were no hard feelings. Meanwhile, you and Yunho didn't notice any of it. You were wholly focused on one another and there wasn't a lot that could change that. You were the only ones in that room. A very successful MC run indeed!

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chadillacboseman · 7 months

Note

Hiii :)))

I saw your Makarov posts and I am obsessed with how you write him! I was wondering if I could request a writing? Could you write a oneshot where the reader is completely unaware of just WHO Makarov is and thinks he's a regular guy (established relationship) but she somehow finds out what he does/ has done and he lowkey kinda panics bc how tf did she figured that out??? And is she gonna leave??? But he explains how much he's doing to make sure she never is exposed to his work and he becomes more desperate to make sure she stays? Idk i like him lowkey kinda OOC 😌

If not that's totally ok! Have a good day!!

HELLO GREAT IDEA I LOVE YOU.

ALSO- Jason Isbell has a song called "Live Oak" that I feel fits really well:

There's a man who walks beside me

He is who I used to be

And I wonder if she sees him and confuses him with me

And I wonder who she's pinin' for

On nights I'm not around

Could it be the man who did the things

I'm living down?

Makarov had worked very hard to keep his "work" away from you. He crafted believable stories, spun from whole cloth, to explain his extended absences and late nights spent away from home. When his men kept an eye on the house, he made them do it in secret, hoping, no- praying that you wouldn't notice the familiar cars that parked on the street every night.

As they say, though, even the best laid plans can go awry.

Makarov's phone rang in the middle of the night, the soft thrum of the vibration just enough to wake him, but not you. He scrambled from the bed, quickly swiping to answer the call while making his way into the hallway.

"What is it?" he asked, sleep still clinging to his voice as he paced in the small space.

An errant creak in the floorboards made him curse in Russian, glancing over his shoulder to make sure it hadn't awoken you.

In the bedroom, you stirred, reaching a hand over to his side of the bed and blinking awake when you found it empty.

"V?" you croaked out into the darkness.

No answer.

You could hear the soft sound of his voice coming from the hallway, words muffled by the distance between you. You rose to your feet quietly, trying to shake the tiredness from your mind.

Makarov had his back to you, his phone pressed against his ear; he was whispering, but you could hear the angry hiss in his voice.

"I told you to tie up the loose ends!" he paused to listen to the man's response and scoffed quietly, "Make sure he's dead before morning, or I'll put a bullet between your eyes myself."

Your heart hammered out an erratic rythm in your chest, so loud that you were sure he could hear it. Had you misheard him?

Makarov ended the call and immediately swiped his thumb across the numbers, dialing a contact you didn't recognize.

"Ivan just called me," he hissed into the phone when the person picked up, "After that stunt at the train station in London-"

His next words were lost to the ringing in your ears.

Train station? Your memory flashes to the news articles, the tv coverage- dozens dead, and hundreds more injured in a blast that NCA and Interpol were still investigating.

Before you could stop it, a small gasp fell from your mouth, impossibly loud in the quiet space. At the sound of it, Makarov's shoulders stiffened, his broad frame becoming rigid in the darkness.

He ended the call abruptly and tried to swallow his heart down out of his throat. His mind was on fire, racing with what to do- what to say-

When he finally turned to face you, his face was pale and his eyes were full of desperation.

The two of you stood in silence, neither willing to break it and confront what had just happened. You'd shared your life with him for the last four years- had laid in bed next to a killer. How many plots had he orchestrated? How many people had died at his behest?

Makarov finally broke the silence with a whisper of your name, "Please- let me explain."

You looked so afraid, wild-eyed like a doe that hears the errant crack of a twig in the forest. His heart was in his stomach now; he felt as if his entire world was about to fall down around him.

Part of you wanted to leave. To pack a bag and find a cheap hotel to put some distance between the two of you. But another part of you, a bigger part, wanted a fucking explanation.

But what could he possibly say?

Makarov closed the distance between the two of you, one of his hands coming up to cup your face. You flinched at the movement, and he felt his heart break.

"I did everything I could to keep you safe," he murmured, his dark eyes never wavering from yours, "I didn't-" he paused for a moment, searching for the words, "I didn't want you to know who I am- what I am."

"You'll never have to find that out. I promise."

"And what are you?" You whispered. You felt as if your life had been upended entirely, pieces of your broken image of him scattered like a shattered piece of china.

"And what if the enemies you've made come for me?" You asked, defiantly, pulling your face from his grip.

A possibility he'd considered thousands of times. That you pulled away from his touch while you asked it pierced his chest like a knife.

How could he begin to explain the details his men kept on the house? The late nights he spent awake when a noise roused him from his sleep, ears strained in the darkness and a grip on his pistol?

"My men watch the house when I'm gone," Makarov searched your face for any sign of relief, "I will always keep you safe, Любимая."

There was so much more he wanted to say-

Don't leave me.

You're the closest thing to normal I have.

I love you.

"No one will ever lay a hand on you," he brought his hand to your face once more and you let him, closing your eyes as his thumb swept across your cheek gently, "Please, give me a chance."

You wondered, now, how many sleepless nights he had spent making sure you were safe. How many times he'd been away, nerves on edge with worry of your safety.

Could you still see him as the same "V"?

"Promise me something?" You stared up into his eyes, sparkling in the dark hallway.

"Anything," he breathed, bringing his face closer to yours, the tip of his nose brushing against yours as he spoke.

"I want things to stay like they were. I don't...I don't want to know about what you do."

You weren't even sure that was possible. But you had to try.

Makarov brought his lips to yours, his stubbled chin grating gently against your skin as he kissed you. For a moment, everything felt right again as he pulled you tight against him, the warmth of his body such a familiar comfort you could almost forget what you'd heard. When he broke the kiss, he was breathing heavily, his eyes flitting to yours once more.

"I promise."

#makarov x reader #vladimir makarov x reader #my writing #bird meme: 'AND THEN THEY FUCKED'

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indierpgnewsletter · 9 months

Text

Recommendations: Books about RPGs

(This was first posted on the Indie RPG Newsletter.)

I’m always trying to level up my RPG knowledge and this has led me to look for books about RPGs. And there don’t seem to be that many! There are some academic books but while they have their strengths, easy reading isn’t one of them. Even as I wrestle with these academic texts (and I will emerge victorious), here are some books that are both interesting and fun to read:

Play Unsafe and Stealing Cthulhu by Graham Walmsley

Play Unsafe is a book of RPG advice. It’s a quick read (quicker than its 82 pages would suggest) and has some really gentle, grounded advice. For example:

If, while gaming, you can’t be clever or try hard, what can you do? The answer is: be obvious. Do the obvious thing: the thing that obviously happens next in the story; the thing that you think everyone expects to happen. Paradoxically, that obvious thing may, to everyone else , seem original and brilliant.

Stealing Cthulhu, by the same author, is about how to take inspiration from the stories of HP Lovecraft in a way that makes your own cosmic horror games feel fresh and unique.

Age of Ravens: Vol 1 and Vol 2 by Lowell Francis

These are two collections of various essays originally published on the Age of Ravens blog, formatted for easy reading. They’re essentially a greatest hits collection and do a good job of that. Volume I: Running has some of my favourite articles about running conspiracies, one shots, online games, and more. Volume II: Tools is mostly resources for play: story seeds and ideas to drop into your game whether sci-fi heists or apocalyptic hexcrawls. They aren’t connected by theme so you mostly can just dip in and out of them.

Unchained Mysteries by Jessie Burneko

Unchained Mysteries is a passionate call to ditch clue-based mystery design. Instead, the book proposes coming up with much more richly-layered scenarios where the players are drawn into a crime or crisis with no easy solution, where the players are caught up in a web of NPCs who are actively dealing with the situation, rather than passively waiting for someone to solve their problems. It ends up at around 100 pages so there’s real meat there if you want to engage with it.

The entire Knutepunkt line

Knutepunkt is one of the biggest larp events in the world - half conference, half festival, full of larps and talks and so on. Since 2001, they’ve been publishing books with essays (some more academic than others) about larp. They’re very well-respected. And as Evan Torner explained to me, if you’re not interested in larp, you can just mentally replace the word larp with TTRPG and still get lot out of these books. I’m nowhere close to finishing them but felt like I had to share them anyway. (Thanks to reader Mo, here’s the link to the books.)

The Ultimate RPG Gameplay Guide by James D’Amato

I have not finished this yet either but I can already tell the voice of the Ultimate RPG Gameplay Guide should resonate with newer players who don’t have a lot of set ideas about RPGs already. The author is the founder of the One Shot podcast network and clearly has a philosophy of play. For example, the first chapter is titled “Understanding Audience” and basically uses the idea that everyone has preferences in what they consume (books, moves, etc) to segue into the idea that RPGs emerge out of everyone’s shared preferences. It’s an interesting approach and if you want to know more, there’s a nice review here.

#indie rpg #ttrpg #ttrpg community #ttrpg design #ttrpgsolidarity #rpg

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traincat · 1 year

Note

i was trying to explain to my mom how the harry potter game is antisemitic (we are not jewish) and she didnt really seem to get it. she was like "i mean if they were wearing yarmulkes i would be like yeah, the goblins are supposed to be jewish". do you know of a good source that i could send her that would break down the jewish stereotypes and how they arent just coincidence? if you dont have a good source dont worry about it but i saw you reblog stuff about it so i thought you might. thank you for your time!

I have a few resources I'm linking in my reply here, but I'm probably not going to be answering other questions about this because, to be honest, as a Jewish person in fandom, it's stressful. I'm reblogging stuff about Hogwarts Legacy because I'm Jewish and the antisemitism in the game is vile to the point where it feels irresponsible for me not to address it in some way, and because it ties into a lot of the other antisemitism I've personally faced in fandom when speaking about anything Jewish. I feel like your mother may have some trouble grasping the antisemitism because she seems to be viewing Judaism solely as a faith, when Judaism is an ethnoreligion -- a religion, an ethnic group, and wide and varied culture, and so stereotypes about Jewish people don't have to involve religious symbols and very often involve specific physical features, ie, big noses. The goblins in Harry Potter are short, ugly, and they have huge noses -- these are all features commonly associated in antisemitic caricature with Ashkenazi Jewish men. The idea that the goblins would only be valid caricatures of Jewish people if they were wearing a specific piece of clothing is troubling because it invokes the yellow stars Jews were made to wear by the Nazis. (For the record, my uncle wears a yarmulke full time, but the other men on my mother's side of the family do not. This does not make them less Jewish.)

But if your mother needs a symbol associated with the Jewish faith to help her understand, it's been noted that the game features a "goblin horn" that is very clearly a shofar, an important piece of Judaica which is used for religious purposes. (There's also a link between the date the horn is given in the game and a very brutal pogrom; more info in the twitter thread linked. If you want to get an idea of how virulent antisemitism is in fandom, the response to this thread and others like it are A Lot.) Like I can't say enough how blatant this is, and the reason it's getting by so many people are 1) a lot of non-Jewish people are at least on a base level, if not actively antisemitic themselves, basically okay with antisemitism, because antisemitism is so present in our culture and 2) uneducated on Jewish matters.

It's also important to note that in the Harry Potter world, goblins are specifically bankers. This is how they are first introduced to readers and this is their primary association in world: the goblins are literally guarding the gates on huge piles of wizard gold. This is an antisemitic stereotype, as Jews are often perceived as being money grubbing and greedy, as well as "secretly controlling" the greater world's wealth. More info in this wikipedia article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Economic_antisemitism. This thread by Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg also breaks down the connection between the "greedy Jew" stereotype and the historical precedent for Jewish moneylenders, a profession that was foisted on them because it was distasteful to Christians: https://twitter.com/TheRaDR/status/1057333224538624001. Harry Potter is not unique in these depictions. There is an example of this in, say, Star Trek, where the Ferengi are a race of greedy, money-obsessed aliens who have exaggerated "ugly" features and who are often depicted as oversexed, especially when it comes to women of other, more classically attractive alien races (this is another antisemitic stereotype of Jewish men). But the Ferengi are also all played by Jewish actors, and in the show where they feature most, Deep Space 9, they're protagonists. So while the Ferengi are rooted in antisemitic stereotypes, the involvement of Jewish creatives and their role in the story makes it a more complicated, nuanced situation. This is not what is happening in Hogwarts Legacy.

It's not a coincidence that the goblins in Harry Potter have always been depicted as bankers right from book one. While you can theoretically separate the series from Rowling's transphobia (although, y'know, you shouldn't), the antisemitism is baked into the series. Hogwarts Legacy just takes it to a whole other incredibly overt level. The point of the game is violence against Jews, and we see that because it's revealing just how many people out there are fine with demonizing Jews specifically and the level of violence Jewish people often face in fandom when they speak out about antisemitism.

#/#//#///#////#/////#antisemitism #hogwarts legacy #hp critical

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foreverisntenough · 28 days

Text

- YOU’RE MINE -

Summary: While you daydreamed about his face an ocean apart, he had no idea what yours was about to do to him. With a twist of fate and the heat of summer, a new relationship would completely ransack his heart - Everyday heavy with the thought of one another, neither of you were going to let the unexpected love of your life go. You were going to be his, you were his, and you were going to stay his.

Warnings: This series will contain fluff, suggestions, smut love bombing, occasionally sad, and kind of angst- not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: I hope you like it! There will definitely be more parts (don’t know how many just yet though.)

INDEX

Chapter 20 - ‘You’re Mine’

“C’mere yeah? Don’t be silly.” Trent pulled you towards him in a direction away from the bar and other people.

“I’m not, it’s just still weird sometimes for me that’s all. I don’t think you understand.” You said in much more of a serious tone than he was expecting, shaking your head refusing to look him in the eyes.

“You actually upset right now?” He probed as his brows furrowed confused that you’d be jealous over him taking a picture with a fan especially after he just told you all the things he had planned to do with you once you got to the bedroom. It didn’t usually phase you. You’d oblige and happily take the photos for fans knowing you’d be the one sleeping next to him but seeing women touch him in front of you so blatantly stirred something inside you a lot more recently.

“No, but if random men just stopped me for pictures while I was out with you and had their hands all over me… would you be happy with that?” You snapped back spelling out the reality of why this did bother you a little. Imagining the roles reversed sent Trent’s brain spinning.

“They’re not all over me...” He paused looking into your eyes trying to assess if a fight was unfolding. “Men aren’t fucking touching you. That’s not happening is it? These girls… nothing. Don’t worry about it. It’s me and you.” He said, pressing a kiss to your hair trying to calm this conversation down. You didn’t want to fight back, explain to him that ultimately it was starting to bother you how anonymous you were. A fight wasn’t a good idea in the middle of his tournament, out with other people, away from home, drinks involved it just wouldn’t end well so you bit your tongue.

England was hosting a party for the families before the knockout stages began that night and the boys were granted a few days off. You weren’t nervous per say but it definitely stressed you out thinking about potential conversations about your relationship. How vocal was Trent about you to his teammates? You were uneasy at the thought and uncertainty. For some reason the anonymity of you to the public was starting not to sit right. It was some comfort that Jobe was also with you, it kind of diluted the fact you were walking into an event with two players that had curated quite a cult following online, knowing the team followed them religiously with cameras. Unfortunately, it wasn’t that helpful to come with Jobe because he was falling into their wake, he just was too young for people’s focus to land appropriately yet but it was coming in slowly. Despite your apprehension, your worries were pushed aside as you eased through conversations, Trent kept you close. He did talk about you to everyone. Everyone on the team knew of you. You knew he was proud to call you his, you knew he was just saving you from a media onslaught. It was later into the evening when you really let your angst earlier go and just relaxed. Everyone there had the same worries about The Sun or Mail running wild with stories about them, you weren’t something special. Sure, maybe you and Trent teed up perfectly for a sleazy article but it was fine, you were overthinking things and you were there to support T no matter what it meant it created for you.

Bukaya Saka had picked up a big following on TikTok the second he created an account… as expected. He was filming asking the team questions throughout the tournament. One big topic he was posting a lot of was asking what players were listening to. He was running about the party tonight filming another video only now including friends and family. His iPhone flash on, asking if you could name one song for the tournament, what it would be. Harmless.

“Saks!” You said with a big smile his phone’s flash illuminating every pore on your face as you stood next to Jude stopping your conversation about something mundane momentarily.

“What we saying? Song of the tourney?” Bukaya asked with the light still absolutely blinding you in the dark night. You gave an answer but he wasn’t happy with it.

“Nah, not having that. You two need time apart, you can’t pick the same song as him, give me another one.” He pushed implying that you had seemingly chosen the same song Trent had.

“Just in general? An all time song or a new one right now?” You peppered him with questions trying to stall to think of a good answer.

“Why’d you need so much information, cuz, answer it.” He sighed in frustration, throwing his head back dramatically.

“I feel like you’ll be disappointed regardless!” You over exaggeratedly complained.

“You've been catching up though you know… little Dave, you love Professor X” Jude squeezed your shoulder butting into the video laughing. “You've been doing good learning the UK classics.” He was teasing you but it was also true. So many boys in your life; Jude, Marcel, George, Curtis… they all enlisted and pressed so hard to ‘teach’ you the staples you had to know.

“Just give me something, America.” Bukaya teased still pushing for you to give a better answer.

“Fine, fine. I’ll give an artist I listen to a lot. Even been approved in my house.” You giggled at how silly this all was. “I’ll give you a New Yorker too, any Dusty Locane. I think you’ll like it.” You answered knowing you had introduced Trent as well and he was down.

“Okay, okay, okay. I’ll take it.” He was finally satisfied.

“Now get that light of my face, please! I’m blind now.” You pushed your hand to cover his camera but the video still caught your voice. The video cut to someone else’s answers. He posted an edited version of the conversation to make it shorter but the TikTok definitely included you and people were certainly interested in your cameo.

‘Tell me right now who that American girl is with?’

‘Bro Alexander-Arnold’s girl being American threw me’

‘The way my head spun when she opened her mouth’

‘American is leng, who’s is that?’

‘Dusty Locane was a wild shout. What a gyal’

Comments came piling in about your accent, nationality, leading to people pulling videos of times they’d met Trent trying to see if they’d be able to make out your voice in the background when you had been there. It wasn’t a secret but it shook people up trying to work out how the two of you connected and make a story out of it. In turn and in usual fashion, articles began to bloom across the internet…

‘Transatlantic Trent, The England star is apparently dating an American!’

‘Everything we know about the secret relationship the Liverpool and England player has with a mystery American’

‘She’s American! More about the England international player’s girlfriend revealed’

‘Who is the American at the at The Euro’s cozied up with Trent Alexander-Arnold?’

You sat with Dianne watching the semifinal. The whole tournament seemed to buzz by and you lost track of the days hiding in a hotel, barely able to see Trent, hounded by media, stories continually published making up BS about you. They didn’t even have your name yet they wrote like you’d personally given them an autobiography.

“Going to be alright.” Dianne confirmed her hand coming to pat your thigh. “There’s always a flare up and then it’ll die out.”

“I’m sorry.” You softly said watching the opposition goalie make an easy save.

“For what? Being you? You didn’t do anything hun. People love to fuss over little things. We’ll be alright.” She tried to console you.

“I don’t want to make things more difficult for him.” You shyly said worrying about the implications. The way the internet obsession may be weighing on Trent.

“You’re not. The only thing he cares about is if you’re okay. Yeah, hun?” Still trying to reassure you.

“Yeah.” You repeated her words but not with the same conviction or belief. You winced as Trent made a tackle, the balling going out of play. You sat on your hands to try to stop the nerves. You could feel the rise of your rings under your body. Your legs were shaking when the whistle finally blew for half time. People milled about but you and Dianne stayed put. The media had really ramped up the attention on you but true to the plan, you, Trent, his family, and his PR team gave nada.

You sat quiet as the last seconds of the match ran out and England advanced. The Euro’s Final arrived and you felt absolutely sick. It ended with an England defeat. You felt like your heart had shattered seeing the boy you loved more than anything in the world lay on the pitch in front of you crushed. His jersey pulled over his head. The look on his face had you trying to hold back tears. You were distraught for your T.

It was not a fun night. Trent’s sadness progressed into him just being pissed. You had never really seen him as angry as he was right now. You sat quietly holding onto his hand in the car. Not a word exchanged when his head fell on your shoulder with a sigh. You could see his skin pinch together as he shut his eyes tight.

“I know…” you whispered, pressing your lips to his temple, brushing your hand over his head.

“I…I c-can’t…” he couldn’t get words out. It was so silent back at the hotel. He had to go on the flight with the team, stand in unity despite the loss so you couldn’t even travel home together. You were set to reunite back at your house. You just felt lost anxiously awaiting until he arrived. You didn’t want to ask any specifics about times, you had a general idea from his updates but his texting was sparse. When he did come into the house it was like the sun disappeared. It felt dark, it felt cold, it didn’t feel like your happy home when he was like this. You let him mope about waiting for him to come to you… and he eventually did. You sat on the couch on your phone, a silly romcom on tv in the background.

“What’d you watching…” he asked but it was so meek it barely sounded like him.

“Nothing, you want to watch something?” You asked your heart beating out of your chest, almost jumping at the chance to talk to him. You started to get up when he moved towards you and slumped onto the cushions and you.

“Nah, can you stay here please.” His arms wrapped around your waist, his head coming lay in your lap, his body curled to fit on the couch. You only hummed. He just shut his eyes and layed there quiet while you scratched his back. Your nails gliding up his spine and back down again, tracing little shapes and figures under his t-shirt.

“I missed you.” He mumbled into the material of your sweats nuzzling his face in further, his arms wrapping tighter around you.

“Yeah? I missed you too, baby.” You cooed, trying to suppress the smile. You knew it wasn’t good he was this upset but knowing he needed you felt good.

“So much” he said so quietly you barely could hear it.

Ever since Trent got back from the tournament he was so clingy. He followed you around like a puppy dog. Asking to cuddle with you constantly and you let him. You were headed on your holiday soon and you wondered if he was going to be like this the whole trip. If the loss would really shake the group. You all agreed to go regardless but the thought of Jude and Trent sitting in silence refusing to go to the beach because they’d be in a bad mood burned in your brain. Your best friend was flying in tomorrow and you were happy but you were simultaneously plagued with worry about T.

You found yourself on the couch, another film, your fingers rubbing his back gently again, scratching his skin softly. He’d shiver every once in a while sensitive to the touch, groan or mumble something incoherent about the plot, and then dig deeper in your lap. You just smiled, placing kisses on him. As it got later in the afternoon though you’d had enough, it was time to move your bodies, you had to pack, you needed to eat a vegetable and not just lay in this feeling of defeat. He couldn’t do this to himself.

“Baby… Pretty boy, come on.” You cooed, taking your hand off his back and dragging it up to brush over his raised cheekbone.

“No.” It sounded a little harsh and you felt his body tense but he relaxed a millisecond later. “Wanna lay on you.” He whined trying to nestle further into you which at this point was physically impossible.

“Come on, yeah? Let’s go eat some lunch out in the garden, get some air. Hmm?” You sang to him pressing soft kisses all over his face.

“Baby..” he grabbed at you with little strength.

“So needy T.” You giggled teasing him. He only hummed at your hands running back over his shoulders, your nails dragging down his back. “Gonna get up for me?”

“Mmmhmm.” He hummed pulling himself up but leaned his whole body weight onto you immediately again. His head resting on your shoulder. His hands caressed over your body before coming to play with the little clovers of your Van Cleef necklace.

“You remember when I gave you this?” He whispered. His eyes looked so sad it hurt your heart.

“Of course.” You smiled at the memory sitting in his then foreign room at the time in his mum's house. He looped his finger under the necklace and pulled a little causing your head and neck to move, your lips coming to now press against his.

“I want that back.” He murmured.

“What?” You asked unsure what he meant. What did he want back?

“The nativity that I could just keep you all to myself. Like the whole world wouldn’t become as infatuated with you as I am.” He babbled a little bit, his lips ghosting over yours.

“They’re not… but I understand the sentiment. I’m always just yours though, T….” You paused anxiously rethinking if it was true. “Right?”

“Mine, baby. Want everything with you. Hmm?” A smile formed on his face. You hadn’t seen it in awhile. It was hard to forget how beautiful it was but everytime it still amazed you just how pretty he was.

“Everything?” A smile pulled on your lips now seeing his.

“Yeah, everything.” He confirmed pulling you in for another kiss. Before you could get to the kitchen to even consider what you might have for lunch, Trent pulled you onto his lap. You straddled him, your legs on both sides of him, his face directly in front of yours.

“You know I want everything with you… the lot. Build a whole life with you.” He talked slowly as you watched his lips move. You draped your hands around his neck, your nails scratching gently on his skin again.

“I want that to. You know, T?” Placing a soft kiss to his perfect lips.

“I mean it.” His hands started to caress your back under your shirt drifting higher up.

“And so do I.” You clarified. You both were beating around the bush about the pregnancy comments you had yet to address. You could feel the tension rise in the air as well as his dick beneath you. You initiated a pretty messy makeout that progressed to pulling both of your shirts off. His hand gripped some of your hair, grabbing at the nape of your neck and pulling your head backwards. He followed your mouth, biting onto your lip then pulling away. His kisses returned and trailed down over you and then sank onto a particularly sensitive part of your neck, sucking the skin into his mouth hard. You moaned in response, you could feel his tongue massaging over the spot as he continued to suck. You hissed in pain but also pure delight when you felt his teeth bite against the spot. He worked his way down to your exposed chest. He squeezed your tits lost in the feeling, loving how they looked. Your tits under his huge hands was just his favorite thing but he couldn’t stop the intruding thought of if they’d change when you got pregnant.

“You’re perfect, do you know that?” He asked pulling away eyes focused on your tits only to hear you hum in response. His hands drifted off them and his hands gripped your waist harshly as you grinded your now wet core on him. His hands softened though as he moved them over your stomach. “You’ll look so perfect pregnant.” The words fell out of his mouth, you stopping immediately in shock.

“What did you say?” You did hear what he said, but you wanted to hear it again to make sure you did hear it right. Was he being serious? He hummed, pulling you into another kiss but you just as quickly pulled away. “T…”

“Yeah, you heard me. You’d look so sexy.” He cooed. His eyes were locked on yours. He was very serious. This is not how you thought this would come up again.

“Oh yeah?” You started to giggle, a little flattered but also out of pure shock. “Is that what you want? You want to get me pregnant?” You asked, still giggling looking at him.

“Baby” grabbing your face now. Your giggles stopped almost instantly. “I’m so fucking serious right now. I want that.”

“Are we really having this conversation?” Your eyes widened.

“Yeah…” he looked at you confused in why you were hesitating.

“Can I put my clothes on? I thought we were like messing about.” You said shyly.

“No, I like you like this.” He let go of your face, his hands back on your body caressing your skin.

“T… this is serious” you tried to explain.

“…and I’m serious. I’m serious about you, about us, I want a baby with you. Do you not want that?” He asked so blatantly, he looked hurt, offended, the look of defeat back on his face.

“No…” you mumbled. His hands dropped from your body immediately. “No, no, not like no. I meant ugh.” You sighed frustrated at how your words were coming out. “I meant no, yes, of course I want that. I didn’t know you did or if what we said in bed months ago was serious, I don’t know I was scared.” Your head fell onto his chest. You felt so vulnerable.

“I know, baby. I didn’t know either but I’m tired of pretending that’s something I’m not thinking about every time we have sex now. Yeah?”

“Yeah…” you muffled into his chest.

“C’mere. I really want a family. Do you want that?” He asked, pulling your chin up to look at him. His face looked so perfect, his lips in a little pout, his eyes glistening, his skin glowing.

“I want a family with you.” You confirmed. “After Greece, can we have a proper chat about this? I don’t want to rush this, baby. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Like embarrassingly a lot but we need a proper discussion. I didn’t know if you wanted this too.” Confessing you were also really wanting this.

“I told you I want everything with you. I mean everything. I want to have kids with you. I want to have a family with you. I want it all with you.” You got shy at his words again and hid your face in his neck. “What’d you being shy for? C’mere.” He started placing kisses all over your exposed skin. “Think you would make the most perfect mummy, yeah?” He started to giggle in between the kisses.

“T…” you whined your lips rolled into a pout at how cute he was. His eyes completely lighting up at the idea.

“Would you wanna be a mummy?” His hands came to rub over your stomach as he started to laugh a little again.

“To your babies?” You looked directly at him now. “Of course. Absolute dream.” You fell into giggles beaming with the idea. You couldn’t wipe the smiles off either of your faces if you tried. You felt like you were going to cry out of excitement and joy.

“After Greece then.” He told you placing a kiss on your lips.

“After Greece.” You confirmed returning the kiss. He hugged you tight to his chest. His hands held you so firmly, he always made you feel so safe. Your cheek squished against his, his facial hair slightly tickling you.

“I love you so so so so much,” you whispered in his ear pressing your lips back against his skin. He hummed squeezing you a little tighter.

“I love you” He whispered back. You wanted to hear him say that for the rest of your life. You cuddled into his warm embrace a little more before he stood up with you still in his arms, picking you up with him. Your legs instinctively wrapped around him tighter. You nuzzled your face into his neck pressing soft kisses against his skin.

“What’d you want to eat, my pretty girl?” He cooed, walking with you stuck to him towards the kitchen.

“Wait, T! Wait, I need my clothes!” You yelled halfway there realizing you were still topless pressed to him. You started to giggle and so did he.

“Nah, don’t need ‘em. You’re good just like this. I like you like this” he laughed, continuing on his way to the kitchen.

It was the night before you all left for your holiday in Greece. It was going to be a decent sized group traveling together out of Liverpool. Jude, Jobe and another friend were meeting you there because they were coming from elsewhere. Your bestie, Lauren, was coming and you were giddy with excitement to see her but also after your conversation with Trent you were just generally in an amazing mood and having some amazing sex in the last 24 hours. You hadn’t spent proper time with Lauren in ages let alone gone on a holiday with her. Yeah, this was going to be different than your previous trips you'd taken considering you were now living with your serious boyfriend discussing babies but she could still do as she pleased, she was single, and she loved being single. Lauren was way more outgoing than you and brought out a more… let’s say brave… side of you, for sure. You had met in university and bonded over similar lifestyles and interests. It involved a lot of partying, stupid decisions but built an incredibly trusting loyal relationship. You and Lauren were a match made in hell for men. You filled every vice. Aesthetically, you couldn’t be more different in appearance and in taste. Lauren had a body. She was caked with a face card that never declined. She constantly flirted, it was just her natural state. She was incredibly sweet and nice, she just didn’t have a great filter. You had more of an aura. A little mysterious just given your introverted nature but people were drawn to you. You radiated a glow that had men drooling. You were pretty like a doll, like a model or ballerina. You were clean cut and politely shy… until you were comfortable and you were comfortable with Lauren. She was flying from New York to your house and you couldn’t wait to be back together.

When she arrived you practically screamed running to the front door, even though you had offered to pick her up from the airport. She had visited before but hadn’t seen the house completely finished, lived in yet. You were a little nervous about the trip mixing different groups of people but overall excited. Trent was playing some video game so you and Lauren were upstairs alone packing your bags, re-trying on your outfits for her just to be sure they all hit.

“I literally cannot wait to go out! Like I love Mykonos.. I cannot!” She gushed holding up a practically see through mini dress imagining herself in it at a club.

“I’m honestly just excited to drink and sit in the sun like pleassse.” You whined, throwing a bikini in the Rimowa. “What’s going to be your first drink?” You questioned trying to think of your own answer.

“Can I be basic? I just want tequila, rocks, lime. On repeat.. put it on tap.” She giggled.

“Oooo yeah” you hummed “That sounds so good.” You said when Lauren stopped folding some of your clothes to stand up.

“Well what’s stopping us from starting now! Come on!” This was the problem with Lauren. Her ideas never came with a solid retaliation. You couldn’t find an argument. Why not? You had nothing to do tomorrow but sit your ass on a private plane to Greece. You two giggled downstairs headed to the kitchen when you told her you’d meet her there, you just wanted to tell Trent.

“Baby…” you cooed, stepping into the room walking over to his chair dragging your hands over his chest from behind him before trailing your nails back up. He cocked his head to look at you. He was met with a bare shoulder and was a little confused. So he grabbed at your arm pulling you to stand in front of him.

“Where are your clothes…hmm?” his hand outstretched caressing your body in front of him. It was a little early for you to be getting into anything for bed.

“I was tying on my outfits” you giggled at his touch squirming away but his hand grabbed your waist firmly “this is what I ended up in, I guess.” Shrugging. You were in a little cotton bralette and satin flounce shorts.

“Yeah…? That’s why..?” He was questioning your intention of waking in interrupting his game wearing such little clothing. “C’mere.”

“No, no, no! T!” You squealed when he pulled your body towards his. “I was on my way to the kitchen! Serious!” He didn’t appreciate your resistance so he met you halfway, scooting forward, his face coming to kiss your bare stomach.

“Yeah.. what for?” He spoke against your skin, still pressing wet kisses onto you.

“We’re making drinks… was coming to see if you wanted one, baby” You said, picking his head up off your body, looking for a genuine answer. He could tell you actually were telling the truth so he just slipped his hands around you squeezing your ass, keading it.

“Not now, I’ll come in a little, okay, beautiful girl?” He cooed looking up at you.

“Mmkay baby. Love you” you said, pulling away from him, slipping away from him leaving, before running back into the room to place the kiss on his cheek you forgot. He shook his head at your childish behavior but he was happy if you were happy.

“Sorry! Sorry!” You came rushing in with a silly smile from Trent’s kisses. Lauren was sitting at your kitchen island scrolling on her phone waiting.

“He’s got you down so bad” she said, shaking her head laughing.

“Nah” You tried to deny it poorly.

“Makes me happy Y/N.” She said genuinely leaning onto your shoulder. It was a tender moment placed neatly between your usual nonsense.

You connected your phone to a Bluetooth surround sound speaker, putting on a favorite of you twos. ‘Unforgettable’ French Montana pumped through the big room.

“Stop! Haven’t heard this in a minute.” She said laughing while getting off the stool. “Okay, where’s the liquor?” she said, opening random kitchen cupboards. You pulled on her arm with a big smile on your face for her to follow you into a little enclave down the hall that was a full bar. It was gorgeous marble with gold barware. It didn’t get used a lot but it was one of your favorite looking spaces in the house. “What the fuck!” She gasped with her jaw slacked.

“Honestly... sometimes when I go to make a drink I expect to be getting some cheap tequila. I forget I’m not drowning myself in alcohol at university and am an adult.” You laughed grabbing for a big brown tinted glass bottle of Don Julio 42.

“That never happens to me. I still drink that shit.” You both broke into a fit of giggles. “Not all of us are married to famous athletes.”

“Relax, I am not his wife!” You rolled your eyes at her overzealous comment. God, did that comment get cemented into your brain though… You’d love to be his wife and after the conversation last night you started to think that could possibly happen.

“Give me a plastic cup, a beer soaked floor, an investment banker, and a dollar slice and I’m happy.” She pulled the bottle from you to pour some into a glass you placed in front of her on the marble.

“That’s just not true…” you corrected her. Lauren and you loved a crap bar as much as the next person but you both grew up comfortably, you lived privileged lifestyles, you toyed with expensive shit as if it was nothing. Everything was available to you. It just wasn’t your entire personality. Trent knew everything about you but you kept your upbringing pretty hush since you moved to the UK.

You two had made your way back to the kitchen gossiping, sitting at the island after a few shots, pulling out ingredients to make cocktails after being too drunk for more shots but too sober to drink straight tequila on the rocks. Your plan to make a drink snowballed into you two dancing around the kitchen in scantily clad clothes, drunk off tequila, screaming dirty lyrics to your favorite songs.

It started with you leaned against a counter top trying to assemble the cocktail shaker when ‘Surround Sound’ by JID and 21Savage came on and it ended with you whining on Lauren, you two in fits of giggles. Your asses hanging out of your shorts, shaking. Your hands touching on your body, rapping the nastiest lines. You wouldn’t normally dance so slutty in front of other people, your close friends I.e Lauren, sure, maybe Trent as a joke but you two were just drunk messing about.

Marcel was bringing two of his friends to Greece and they had decided to stay over at yours to make things easy in the morning for the flight. He had a key to the house so he let them inside but was confused when he heard heavy bass vibrating from the kitchen. His friends looked at him for some sort of answer but he shrugged just as confused as them.

You were still throwing it back on Lauren joking when the three boys came into the kitchen. If they weren’t younger boys, baby-brother-like figures to you, you probably would’ve been mortified but instead in your drunk state you squealed excited to see Marcel specifically, running around the island to wrap your arms around his neck, hanging off him.

“What we saying drunk girl?” He joked looking down at you clinging to him.

“You’ll drink with me right? I know you will.” Your words were laced with tequila shots. You had texted Trent to come be with you but he didn’t respond. It made you a little sad but you pushed it out of your mind with more liquor. He saw your text and heard the music but just wanted you to spend some time with your friend before he was back all over you.

You unlatched from Marcel to say hi to the two friends who were a little shocked at the scene and Marcel’s calmness in it. To the boys, there were two older girls, in little clothing, drunk, grinding on each other. To Marcel, well… he was conflicted. This came up a lot with you. You were objectively attractive. He knew that. You were like his sister, he didn’t think of you like that but he couldn’t exactly get rid of the fact that you weren’t when you were like this or in situations like when he could hear you moaning getting fucked upstairs. It was all very confusing for him, it was like his body betrayed him. He loved you like a sister so in turn his confusion transferred and just pushed the narrative of him trying to get with your friends more. It was only natural for a little brother to try to pursue them.

You completely forgot about a night out you had in London after Liverpool had won some championship last year when Lauren and Marcel had gotten handsy in some club with each other after meeting. You saw them look at each other when he walked into the kitchen. They didn’t hook up, you didn’t even think there was a kiss, just some inappropriate touches exchanged. That was kind of Lauren’s thing. She pushed men. She wanted to know she had them in the palm of her hand. Grinding on them, whispering, moaning, trailing her hands down them, dragging theirs up her, licking her lips… She called it women empowerment, you called it teasing. She had successfully gotten Marcel where she wanted him. If she wanted to fuck him, she knew she could, if she didn’t… she didn’t. It made you feel a little differently watching her do it to someone you cared about knowing the play. As she laid her mark again seeing him it reminded you that you hadn’t told Lauren yet, kind of as a joke but also so she didn’t freak out, that Jude was also coming on this trip. Obviously he wasn’t there tonight because he wasn’t coming from England. Jude was probably one of your favorite of Trent’s friends on his own but the wake he left everywhere he went could be a lot. It didn’t affect you but you watched it ensue tucked in Trent’s arms. He was beautiful, objectively incredibly hot but he was younger so you kind of drew the line there. You didn’t really want to think about the other things you knew about him…things you’d seen. Before you even met Trent you had shown Lauren a video of the two boys on TikTok. You lusted after them. The whole country of England did. It was a dangerous pair but so were you and Lauren and you thought you could handle it. It was bizarre now that it could happen in real life so you weren’t sure what to tell her and now Marcel was involved. You were drunk, the whole situation blurred in your brain.

“Picking something good, f’me” you felt your cheeks warm at the sound of his voice. You were leaning over the kitchen island scrolling through Spotify like it was a novel, reading each song carefully trying to build a good queue for everyone who were coerced into drinking heavily. Trent’s hands lacing around you, caressing your stomach, you just hummed, staring at his big hands moving over your skin. “Hmm?”

“Yeah, baby.” If he couldn’t smell it, he could hear it in your tone. You were drunk and he was only aiding and abetting the lustful thoughts about him you got when you were drunk. He pressed his lips to the back of your neck and kept them there. “You wanna have my baby?” He whispered laughing jokingly.

“That sounds perfect,” you confessed, pushing your ass back into him.

“Dangerous words to say right now, pretty girl,” he warned, smirking into your skin. He held you in his arms. You were practically stumbling around the house. The night had spiraled. Trent told you he had to go get ready for bed because someone had to wrangle everyone tomorrow to make the flight. So he kissed you squeezing your ass, you bitting at his neck.

“Come up soon. Okay, baby?” He whispered in your ear. You hummed and started to try to leave a hickey on his neck. “Okay, okay, okay. I love you, drunk girl. Make sure you make it back upstairs to your T, yeah?”

“Mmm yeah, baby.” You practically moaned moving back to his lips to get a kiss. Once Trent had left, you decided maybe it was time to wrap things up. No matter how drunk you were, you hated messes so you tried to clean the kitchen up… pretty poorly though.

There were plenty of bedrooms in the house for three boys but they all were slumped on the living room couch refusing to move, watching a rerun of some 90s footie game, they weren’t even alive for. It was weird so you just turned the lights off on them. Letting them fend for themselves until you clocked that Lauren was laying very comfortably in between Marcel’s legs. It didn’t bother you exactly, it wasn’t your place to say who could do what with who, you just didn’t want anything to mess with the holiday or let anyone’s feelings get hurt. So for tonight, you took matters into your hands because of a long travel day tomorrow and dragged Lauren to a guest room knowing she’d complain she didn’t sleep well on a couch hungover tomorrow. You both drunkenly giggled about how bad of an idea it was for her to go near your boyfriends younger brother but a part of you was sober enough to try to threaten her not to touch anyone night one

“Don’t ruin your other nights for something tonight.” You slurred laughing falling on the bed with her. You said it as if that was sound reasoning and would convince her. It wasn’t, it wouldn’t. You successfully got yourself upstairs moving slowly up the stairs carefully holding water and ibuprofen. You peeled the little clothing you had on off in your dimly lit room, trying not to wake Trent but when you saw his bare back exposed laying in your bed, you didn’t really want to put pajamas on… not at all really. You were needy. You washed your face, brushed your teeth, turned the lights off and crawled into your bed cuddling up to your sleepy boy. You started pressing pretty sensual kisses all over him; his back, his neck, his face, just anywhere you could really. He rolled over and hummed a little, waking up some.

“Baby?” He groaned quietly.

“You’re so sexy, T.” You whispered, crawling on top of him, continuing with your kisses. He went to wrap his arms around you instinctively and became very aware you were naked.

“Beautiful, what we doing? Let’s go to sleep, yeah?” He cooed, pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek. Your hand glided over his abs to the waistband of his boxers trying to get to him but he stopped you. “Baby, baby, baby, okay. Come on. Let’s sleep. Come just give me a cuddle.” He asked sweetly.

“T…” you moaned working kisses up his neck. Coming to his ear to whisper. “I want you to fuck me please. I need you.” You were essentially moaning.

“Nah, baby, not like this. You know I don’t like that. Not when you’re this drunk and I’m sober.” His reasoning was incredibly sound.

“Pleasssee, I want you.” You were desperate trying to beg him.

“You’re very sexy, baby and you’re making this really hard.” He sleepily said but you could feel him getting hard underneath you so you started to grind on him, your hips rolling on top of his.

“Yeah? I make you hard?” You drunkenly misunderstood what he said.

“Yes, you do but I’m saying you’re making this very difficult for me right now so please just gimme a cuddle and let’s sleep.” He laughed at your desperation.

“Baby…” you huffed, pressing your cheek onto his bare chest sad about the rejection.

“I’ll fuck you tomorrow, trust me okay? I’m sorry sweet girl. I love you, baby.” He kissed the top of your head.

“T…” you whined once more.

“Shhhh, sleep hmm?” He whispered.

“But T…” you tried once more.

“Okay, yeah, yeah, what is it?” He couldn’t help but smile, he was tired but you were cute.

“I want a family with you.” You whined quietly, your eyes fluttering closed as your head feel heavier on him.

“And I know that, baby. I’m gonna give that to you just not right this second.” He continued to laugh a little.

“What about getting married?” You whispered, starting to fade, lulled by his warmth and slow breathing. Trent’s eyes lit up though.

“You want that?” He asked sheepishly but excitedly. He figured you were being brutally honest right now so he thought he’d ask.

“Mmmm, want that so bad.” Your words slurred together a little so he stopped despite having a million questions for you.

“Okay, okay” he laughed. “I’ll give you whatever you want if you just sleep f’me now.” As he pressed a kiss to your head, smiling.

“Can I stay right here?” He could barely hear your question. It was so soft and muffled against his skin, you were layed completely on top of him.

“Course.” Pressing more kisses to your head.

When you woke up your head was pounding. It was terrible. You stirred still on top of Trent. He was awake stroking his hand up and down your back.

“Good morning, sweet girl.” He cooed. “Gotta get up.”

“I feel awful.” You moaned.

“Yeah, I bet.” He laughed “I’m sorry, how about I get everyone else up and let you sleep a little more than come get you. Yeah?” You could only hum in reply.

He went to wake everyone else up and was met with a very interesting surprise. There were only two boys on the couch asleep.

“Aye, get up” Trent yelled into the living room, the two boys stirring unhappy with the loud call. “Where’s Marce?” Trent asked but was met only with murmurs.

He walked to go wake up Lauren, it was then it occurred to him what had occurred to you. ‘Oh fuck’ he said under his breathe walking down the hall.

“Laur…” he called out. Knocking on the bedroom door before opening it a little. The dark room was lit by some sunlight seeping through curtains. There on the large bed, no blankets, a naked Lauren lying on top of an equally clothesless Marcel. “You’re a fucking idiot, Marce.” Trent said into the currently quiet room.

“Oh fuck…” Lauren hushly spoke. “Honestly, don’t. I know, I know…” Trent picked up a blanket and threw it at them.

“Don’t tell Y/N” Marcel told his brother.

“Don’t tell Y/N? Are you serious? Honestly…” Trent moaned, walking out of the room annoyed. He came back upstairs to you putting the situation he just walked into in the back of his mind.

“You know what you’re wearing, sweetheart? I’ll grab it.” He cooed trying to help you. You hummed telling him you had left a Jacquemus sweat set in the wardrobe to wear. Once you had pulled yourself together you sat on the edge of the bed trying to wake up. “Gonna take your bag downstairs, okay?”

“Kay. Thank you, T” you cooed rubbing your hands over your face trying to feel better somehow. Marcel and Lauren were now clothed in the kitchen and to be fair Trent was surprised that everyone was actually ready. The cars to take you to the airport arrived but you hadn’t come down yet so he went back up to grab you… only you hadn’t moved off the bed.

“Can you carry me?” You whined with a pout.

“Yeah, baby.” He laughed while picking you up under your arms. You wrapped your legs around him, kissing his neck. “Everyone ready?” Trent yelled carrying you down the stairs. There wasn’t really a response. The group all just shuffled into the cars. You felt how weird the energy in the car was when you looked at Lauren. Something was off, you knew she had been with Marcel you could feel it.

Last night, drunkenly, Lauren found herself absolutely freezing in the room she was staying in. She got out of bed and walked to look for the thermostat. With little luck, she went to the living room to see if anyone was awake and would know where it was.

“Marce” she whispered. “Are you awake?”

“Yeah sort of, sweetheart, what’s up?” Quietly as he was really half asleep still. He slowly pulled himself up and walked round the couch and met Lauren. Lauren was in a little silk camisole and shorts set.

“I’m so cold, do you know where the thermostat is for around here?” She whispered.

“You look pretty cold…” Marcel cheekily said as he glanced over her figure then focusing on her hard nipples under the thin silk.

“Stop!” She tried to quietly squeal, slapping at his bare chest, covering her own. They walked down the hall.

“I thought it was around here but I’m not seeing it…” he paused. “Erm.. you know what come on, you’re staying in here?” He asked, walking further down a corridor to the room. Marcel walked into her bedroom and went immediately into the wardrobe.

“Why do you have so much stuff in here?” Lauren asked as she sat on the bed watching him.

“Usually the room I stay in when I sleepover and I do quite a bit especially when Trent’s away so I don’t know I guess it’s ’my room’ ” he used air quotes before he continued to riffle through a few things before pulling out a jumper of his. “You wanna borrow this?”

“Oh, thanks so much Marce. I’m sorry I took your room though, I didn’t know.” She cooed, leaning further back on the bed.

“It’s no big deal.” He said starting to turn out.

“Marce… do you like to sleep alone?” She asked pretty suggestively.

“Nah, not particularly.” He quietly laughed.

“I really don’t and it’s your bed, would you want to sleep with me, like share?” The question was laced with hidden seduction.

“Yeah, if you don’t mind… I wouldn’t mind” he replied with a similar tone. From there it spiraled from separate sides of the bed, to a loose cuddle, to sexual movements, to kisses, to laying completely on top of one another, to a full a make out… and the rest from there would be graphic. Let’s just say they fucked until about an hour before Trent went to wake them up.

When you arrived at the tarmac to board the plane, Trent indulged you and carried you on board. The crew took all the luggage. You got aboard and were practically ready to fall asleep from the jump, once in the air, Trent saw you squirming trying to get comfortable.

“Baby…sleepy girl, C’mere.” He cooed, gesturing you over to where he was sitting. You slugged your way over and laid on top of his lap, his arms wrapping around you tight, rubbing his hands under your sweatshirt over your soft skin. He held you close to his chest. You nuzzled into him. You hummed in contentment till you dozed off. He placed kisses on you any time you stirred whispering to you. “I got you, your Ts right here.”

•

This was a little rushed so idk… ugh! Swear we have some angst coming though 😳

Thank you for continuing reading! Comment or message what you think of the chapter / series … 🤍

Next part - Chapter 21 xx

#trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold imagines #you’re mine fic #taa x reader

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starker-raving-mads · 2 months

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For You: Part III

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It was two months since the day Peter Parker's life changed for the second - third - fourth time.

He'd gotten more sleep over the last month than he had in the previous two months. It was partly due to sheer, never-ending exhaustion. His life since taking on the mantle as 'the new Tony Stark' - a title he balked at, mind you - had become pure chaos. At first, it was a relief. The instantaneous knowledge that money was no longer a problem. May could quit her job and devote her time to FEAST, he could complete his honors-GED (which many of the Blipped teenagers had chosen to do) and immediately hop into online college courses at Columbia with Ned and MJ.

Immediately following that relief, though, was his face splashed across every newspaper, tabloid, blog, and TikTok page in America.

He would never say it, and he couldn't prove it, but he was 99% sure it was Pepper's doing. After her initial outburst at the lawyer's offices, he'd hardly heard from her. His lawyers - god, his lawyers - had advised that he shouldn't respond to any comments on the subject of Pepper Potts being snubbed by her husband for Peter's heir status. While she had no legal leg to stand on since Tony's will was air tight and definite, that didn't stop her from digging her claws into all the ways she knew would hurt him.

Every time he saw something outrageous with his face on it on an article somewhere, he had to remind himself that she was grieving and in pain about a perceived betrayal by her husband. Her husband, who was Tony Stark, who did not belong to him.

No matter that the man had figured out time travel for him, had risked the universe, had given him billions of dollars and the most coveted job in the entire world. Tony only gave him this because there wasn't anyone else better that he trusted, but Peter knew that didn't mean he was Tony's true first choice, and he had to squash every niggling feeling and whisper of a thought that said he was. It would only make it hurt more when all he wanted was the pain to stop.

He'd finally found a moment, though, where things weren't quite as bad. He'd recently reconvened with Bucky, Steve, Sam, and Rhodey and they had a steady if not solid pact. They were all unsure of the situation, still, and Peter didn't blame them. He'd been…questioned, more politely than Pepper had done, on how he and Tony's relationship had unfolded.

When he'd explained that he was 14 when he met Mr. Stark, Steve and Bucky both winced, apologizing for the disaster that was Germany but Peter shrugged it off. He really hadn't been hurt and it was a foundational moment for his and Mr. Stark's relationship. He couldn't bring himself to regret it.

After that, they'd had a few meals together, talked more about his life - and theirs, to an extent, though he was far more privy to them than they had been of him.

"He never mentioned you," Steve said, shaking his head, baffled. He held a cool beer in his hand, leaning back from the patio table they had gathered around at the newly rebuilt SHIELD headquarters in upper state New York.

"Oh he mentioned Pete to me all right," Rhodey disagreed before reaching over and ruffling his curls lightly. Peter liked Rhodey, liked how hands-on he was, how relaxed but also somehow by the book, liked his humor. He could see how he and Tony had been such good friends. "But he'd only told me about his 'brilliant new intern'," they all chuckled. "He really kept the whole Spider-Man thing close to the chest."

"I'd asked him to," Peter admitted, peeling the wrapper off of his bottle of lemonade. "First because I was still like so young, yo know? And then later, after a few - pretty major - mistakes I made, I guess he thought I'd proved I was finally ready to be an Avenger."

"Well I never heard Tony trying to recruit anyone," Rhodey commented and they all looked at him quizzically.

Peter let out a single huffed laugh. "Yeah, uh," he tried to keep down the blush rising on his neck. "You remember the day that Mr. Stark proposed to Ms. Potts?" Rhodey and Sam both laughed long and hard.

"Even over in Wakanda we saw that," Sam chuckled. "It was the Tony Stark special - a huge thing wrapped in a tiny, chaotic package. Not unlike yourself," he raised his eyebrows at Peter, who flicked his bottle wrapper at him.

"Pepper had no idea it was coming," Rhodey agreed before taking a long drink of his own beer.

"Yeah, well I don't think Mr. Stark had really…planned it," he grimaced. At their faces, he continued. "He'd taken me up to Stark Tower and gave me this speech about having graduated to the 'big leagues' after my last big wrap up," he shrugged. "He gave me the Iron Spider suit and said I was ready to be an Avenger." He frowned, rubbing at the glue and paper residue on his bottle. "And I told him that I just wasn't ready yet. That I needed to stay in Queens for a while more, be the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. Help the little guy, you know?" He raised earnest eyes up to the group and they all nodded, slowly. "So I asked him to just keep helping my identity to stay quiet," he shrugged.

"So, then what happened?" Bucky asked, long hair tilting with the rest of his head in curiosity. He didn't speak up often, but when he did, it was always because of something he really wanted to know.

"The next thing I knew I was being ushered downstairs to wait at the car for Happy," he shrugged. "I pulled out my phone and there on live broadcast Mr. Stark was proposing to Ms. Potts at a press conference." He chuckled. "It was - really, really weird."

He expected everyone else to laugh with him, but he was met with contemplative silence. He looked around at each of them before Rhodey finally met his gaze. "What?"

"I think," the older man said slowly, "that press conference was meant to be for your reveal as Spider-Man."

"No way - I mean," he shook his head as the rest of the guys started nodding their heads, agreeing thoughtfully. "He wouldn't propose to her just because - just because I said no to - "

" - to his proposal," Bucky finished.

It was another revelation that Peter could hardly bear the weight of. These things kept stacking and he wasn't sure how to balance all this knowledge he had, about the things Tony had done - and undone - for him. This one, though…this new information didn't hurt, not like the others did.

It actually made a strange amount of sense. At once, it both stung to feel like he was replaced with Ms. Potts so immediately, but also it was like the first fresh breath after being buried underground for so long to know that Peter's answer that day was so important to him that the only thing he could possibly trade it out for in equivalency was getting engaged.

Did this mean that if Peter had said yes Mr. Stark wouldn't have gotten married? It made his head spin, but it also made his heart lighter than it had been in weeks.

Light enough to finally enter the last bastion of refuge that Tony Stark ever took comfort in.

His lab.

Despite being uninhabited for who knew how long, when the familiar glass doors slid open the air wasn't musty, stale, or any such thing. It was as fresh and crisp as it ever was. Off in the corner the long L shaped couch that he and Mr. Stark had often collapsed into opposite ends of, exhausted, lay half-made with fluffy pillows. The coffee pot was empty but clean, and every other available surface covered in notes either figuratively, having been decorated with papers scribbled on with hundreds of lines of equations and code, or literally, like the side of Peter's work station, where he'd dropped to a crouch to finish writing something out when he ran out of paper, mid-idea. He knew he could've just kept writing mid-air thanks to the lab's complete holographic setup, but it wasn't the same as having something solid under your hands.

There was pain in the familiarity of the lab but there was also a feeling of home he hadn't quite gotten the first time he stepped back into his and May's apartment. Plus -

"Hello, Peter."

"Friday!" He exclaimed, smile breaking wide across his face. With a pang, he didn't realize just how much he'd missed the AI until this moment.

"Yes, Peter?" the AI asked, voice warm and if he dared to think it, amused.

"Nothing, nothing, I'm just excited to see you again," he chuckled, hand rubbing at the back of his neck. He started walking around the lab, taking it all in for the first time in what, to him, had been months. The longer he thought about that the more his brow furrowed. "Hey Friday?"

"Yes, Peter? Or would you like me to call you Boss as Tony had?"

"Oh! Um," he shook his head. "No, no Peter's fine, or whatever."

She hummed. "Would it be all right if I picked a name for you, Peter? Being able to distinguish between Boss and Others by a more specific title helps me with my internal hierarchy and understanding of individuals. If you would prefer I do not, though, merely say such."

"I mean if it helps you then, yeah, sure I guess."

"Thank you, Mini Boss," she said. He laughed again.

"You might wanna work on that," he smiled wide.

"Yes, I think it might take me some time, Father."

His eyes widened. "Father?"

"Hm, you're right," she said. "Boss was more like my Father, I suppose."

"Uh, yeah, definitely," Peter nodded. He gave her a beat to let her figure out what she wanted to call him as he walked over to his desk. He'd let her go through her process before he started asking the questions that sat burning in his mind.

"Would you be opposed to me calling you Mother, Peter?" Friday asked. He spun in his chair, smile wide again.

"If Tony was your Father, wouldn't he also be your Mother?" he asked, amused. "You know, having done 100% of your coding, and all."

"If one were to look at my original codebase as the only part of what makes me, me," she agreed. "However, would you not say that those that raise you are more worthy of such a title rather than just those that created you?"

He immediately thought to May and how, if he'd been younger when he came to her, he'd be calling her by that name.

"That's true enough, sure."

"And outside of Boss," she went on, "you are the individual most involved in my growth. So it stands to reason that if Boss is Father, then Peter is Mother."

"I - " he really didn't know what to say to that. It had never occurred to him that outside of Mr. Stark he was the one who interacted with Friday the most.

"If you would prefer I find a name not so closely connotated with females," she continued, "I can endeavor to do so."

"No, no, it's fine, Friday," he replied, quiet and in his head again. "You can - can call me Mother if you want." A not-so-small part of him felt absolutely, transparently happy that Friday considered him her parent. More than Mr. Stark leaving him the company, more than having all this financial security and ability to mess around with Tony Stark's labs, more than all of that - this meant something profound to him.

"I also thought," she said and that amusement was hinted at in her lilting Irish, "that it would be a nice subversive reference to the spacecraft from Alien."

He laughed out loud at that. "I love that movie, that's perfect."

He could feel her smile, then. "I know you do, Mother."

He slumped onto the stool at his table in the lab and finally asked his question. "Friday, can you tell me - why isn't the lab more different?"

"Different how?"

"Well it's just," he struggled to articulate the sentence, the feeling he was pulling at. "I was - gone - for five years. But it almost looks like this place never really changed?"

"I see," she said. "Boss spent a lot of time here after the Blip first happened, once he was home from Titan. He slept primarily on the couch in the corner and had me refill his coffee orders more than anything else. However, he never touched your things, Mother."

Peter frowned. "Why?"

"I could not say," she replied, tone ponderous. "Based on his patterns of movement, he seemed to specifically avoid your work areas. Though he did take a jacket you had left at her table to the couch. From my archival footage, he seemed to sleep with it, perhaps for warmth?"

It occurred to the teen, then, that Friday probably had thousands and thousands of hours of Tony on video and he could pull it to watch them at any time. The feeling of want was a fever in his blood and he asked, "Can you show me?"

"Of course, Mother."

Faint blue light lit up the couch and Peter walked over to it, seeing that more than merely just show him the video, she played it out in holographic projection. His breath hitched as Tony walked into view, Peter's hoodie in clutched in his hands. Staring down at it, he slumped onto the couch and brought the fabric to his face. Less breathing it in and more suffocating himself with it.

"I'm sorry," he heard muffled through Friday's speakers. "I'm so sorry, Pete."

Tony then curled up onto the couch on his side, face pressed to the hoodie, back toward the room. The projection cut off.

Peter didn't realize that he was crying until Friday asked, "Mother, are you okay?"

"I - " he tried to say, throat clogged with tears. "No," he admitted, jacket-covered wrist swiping away at his tears. He sniffled and sat where Tony had, finding his hoodie wedged between the cushions and the back of the couch. He pulled it out and, like Tony, smashed it to his face, breathing in the faintly lingering spicy scent of Tony Stark.

"I'm sorry, Mother," Friday said, speakers low, tone regretful. "I did not mean to cause you pain."

"You didn't, sweetheart," he shook his head, voice still clogged with tears. "I'm just sad."

"Why?" she asked, her natural curiosity shining through. Much like a child, she did not always know when it wasn't the right time to ask questions. But Peter had always liked indulging her and feeding her curiosity. The first few lab sessions they played 20 Questions back and forth until Tony would tell them both to shut up, though the amusement when he said it always shone through.

"I'm sad because Tony's dea - " he cleared his throat. "Because Tony - "

"It is okay, Mother," Friday cut him off. "I understand."

At that, he let himself fall back into the couch like Tony had. Above him, Friday dimmed the lights and stayed quiet, letting him cry out his grief in silence.

#starker #ironspider #peter parker x tony stark #tony stark x peter parker #iron man #peter parker #tony stark #peter x tony #spiderman #peter parker/tony stark #for you fic

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hazbingirliexoxo · 2 months

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“The Archer” Angel Dust Analysis

A/n: ALRIGHT YALL❣️ it’s been a hot minute (literally a whole month lol rip☠️) but I have FINALLY written this and am ready to share it with everyone!🤩 So I’m a huge Swiftie and I absolutely love Angel😭💕 so listening to this song: “The Archer” instantly made me think of him. I think the lyrics really highlight how his experiences with love have shaped the complexities of his true feelings and while we still have so much more to discover about his and Husk’s developing relationship in the show, I truly think that this song just “screams” them. If you haven’t listened to the song before, I definitely recommend to!😊 Anyway, lez get into it!😎

Note: For reference, I primarily used this article: https://gwtimes.org/1625/music-books-movies/the-archer-taylor-swift-lyric-analysis/ to organize all of my thoughts and opinions on why this song suits Angel so well. I think this author did an excellent job at explaining the real message of the song in regards to Taylor’s life, but this analysis is solely based on my OWN interpretation of how Angel’s character fits this song. Just wanted to clarify. THANK YOU AND ENJOY!!!❤️❤️❤️

Combat, I’m ready for combat

I say I don’t want that, but what if I do?

Cause cruelty wins in the movies

I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you

Okay so, with these first few lines, we can think about how much Angel has been through, both in life and death. Like anyone else, he’s made mistakes and fought with many people he’s cared about before, whether that be with his birth family (ex: Arackniss, Molly) or his newfound family/friends he’s made at the hotel later on (ex: Charlie, Husk, Niffty, Sir Pentious, etc). But in terms of his actual familial background, Angel was born and raised in the mafia, meaning he’s used to seeing the indescribable horrors and violence associated with that lifestyle. He has no choice but to conjure up this metaphorical shield of “armor” in order to not only protect himself but also, survive. This ultimately makes it very difficult for Angel to form and develop good, healthy relationships, whether that’d be platonic or romantic, because as much as he craves genuine love and affection, isn’t that going against everything he’s known? To not care about what anyone thinks of him because at the end of the day, everyone leaves regardless? Angel Dust is a perfect example of being conditioned to this toxic, negative mindset he’s built for himself every day and we especially see more of this when it comes to his work with Valentino.

Now Angel is a celebrity, the most famous porn star in all of hell. Of course, due to his natural charisma and good looks, all eyes are drawn to him. He’s expected to essentially “put on a show” and show off what he’s “good for” because who could resist the seductive, charming Angel Dust? But that’s the cruel irony behind it all. Angel’s perception of his pornstar persona overshadows the reality of his true self, which makes it easy for him to push people away and not let anyone see the real him. He’s bred to allow people to chase after him, lust after him, because that’s the embodiment of who Angel Dust is, not who Anthony is. Angel Dust doesn’t care if people “leave” him because he knows that one way or another, there’s always someone else who will appreciate him for his “talents”, who will shower him with the desire and attention he so desperately seeks, despite it being superficial. But Anthony? No one knows who that is nor anyone would care to know who Anthony is in Angel’s mind, so rather than reveal his true thoughts, he decides to remain silent and keep them hidden from the public view as a way to protect himself.

Easy they come, easy they go

I jump from the train, I ride off alone

I never grew up, it’s getting so old

Help me hold on to you

Now, these second set of lyrics go a little more in-depth about Angel’s personal life and relationships. The first line expresses how easily he attracts people and yet still drives them away. The second one, however, can be explored through both a platonic and a romantic perspective. In a platonic lens, Angel struggles with making real, genuine friends (other than Cherri) because he’s afraid no one will be interested to get to know him. The same thing can be said in a romantic point of view. Angel loves to flirt, yes, but with his pornstar persona, he over-amplifies it and makes it seem like he’s “on board” in the beginning, but in the slightest sense of any seriousness or vulnerability, he “jumps off”, going his own way because he knows he’s unable to commit. This third line takes a look into how Angel is associated with being the “black sheep” of his family. Despite his somewhat childish nature, Angel’s always causing trouble and has never been the more focused, responsible type like his older brother: Arackniss. But due to these specific family dynamics, this shows how Angel feels like he’s never taken seriously with his true self. And because of that, he doesn’t understand how to grow and mature enough as a person to handle long-term relationships. The last line here can be portrayed as Angel’s inner thoughts and feelings towards his future love interest in the series: Husk. Angel is so used to giving up and running away from the idea of real love because of his own sexual abuse and trauma from Valentino. But throughout his whole afterlife, Husk is the only good man who respects and values Angel for who he truly is and despite how nice yet unfamiliar that feeling is, Angel’s terrified of losing it. Therefore, these lyrics can imply how he’s pleading for Husk to help him stay grounded and focus on exploring and pursuing this new relationship with him.

I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the prey

Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?

In the chorus, we can start to see the lyrics become even more personified towards Angel’s life. He’s been hurt by so many people, yet he’s also his own worst enemy because he’s done the same thing to those who he cares about too, ultimately straining or damaging the relationships as a whole. He wonders why no one would want to stay in his life, but deep down, he knows that he doesn’t make it easy for people to love him either. So in order to change that, he needs to believe in himself and trust that he can make a positive effort towards becoming better.

Dark side, I search for your dark side

But what if I’m all right, right, right, right here?

And I cut off my nose just to spite my face

Then hate my reflection, for years and years

Within the next verse, we can connect back to how Angel’s toxic mindset has made a profound impact on himself and his relationships. There’s a big part of him that’s always subconsciously searching for the negative aspects of letting people into his life, and that in itself, is what overpowers his psyche into not recognizing and acknowledging the positive facets as well. These next few lines can be referenced to how he strives to maintain his pornstar persona. The whole concept of Angel Dust is for him to be as appealing and desirable to everyone no matter what because that’s what the public likes to see. But unfortunately, what Angel doesn’t comprehend is that he doesn’t need to overemphasize this “mask” of his because the real, genuine people in his life (such as Molly, Charlie, Cherri, Husk, etc.) love and accept him for who he is internally rather than externally. This lack of understanding can also drive him to act impulsive with his emotions and lash out towards the people he deeply cares about, thereby causing him to feel hatred towards himself and regret the decisions he’s made later on.

I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost

The room is on fire, invisible smoke

And all of my heroes die all alone

Help me hold on to you

The metaphorical meaning behind these next lyrics can connect to how empty and restless Angel feels when he’s by himself. We know that he suffers intense nightmares and drug hallucinations from Valentino, but in this next line: “The room is on fire, invisible smoke”, this allows us to dive deeper into his inner troubles and the emotional turmoil and chaos he’s experiencing from it. He’s known to “burn bridges” and “start fires” with others because like I stated previously, he believes everyone will leave him eventually, so as a result, he shuts people out as a way to cope with this depression and loneliness, knowing that it’s still his fault.

I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the prey

Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?

Here we have the main chorus again, but what’s different is that the word “screaming” is used. This allows us to really see and feel the intensity behind Angel’s emotions. It can almost be viewed as if he’s “crying out for help” and begging for someone, ANYONE, to reach out and stay there with him.

Cause they see right through me

They see right through me

They see right through

Can you see right through me?

They see right through me (2x)

I see right through me (2x)

This next sequence of lyrics is pretty self-explanatory, especially regarding Angel’s famous reputation. Based upon his story arc so far, the internal struggles and hardships Angel has faced throughout life and death have definitely taken a toll on him. Even though he aims to portray this glamorous, charming pornstar personality, characters like Husk can see right through Angel pretty easily and have no issue in calling him out for how fake he’s being. This not only makes Angel very hyper-aware of his mask “slipping away”, but also adds on an extra layer of anxiety and panic he’s feeling from losing control of that facade.

All the king’s horses, all the king’s men

Couldn’t put me together again

‘Cause all of my enemies started out friends

Help me hold on to you

The first line here is a clear reference to the nursery rhyme, Humpty Dumpty, but the next few lines are what really emphasize Angel’s character even more. Angel is not an easy guy to get along with. He knows he can be an asshole and because of that, he’s made many enemies who could’ve potentially stayed as friends in his life if he didn’t push them away. But that doesn’t make him feel as if he’s alone right? After all, Angel Dust is fulfilled with receiving “love” from clients, fans, and Valentino all the time, so that has to mean something, right? This particular mindset is what fuels Angel to continue craving that form of infatuation and attention because it’s what he surrounds himself with every day. However, once that “high” dies down, who does he have waiting there for him at home? No one, because in reality, he IS alone and that terrifies him even more due to the fact that he’s the reason behind these self-destructive tendencies.

I’ve been the archer, I’ve been the prey

Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?

(I see right through me, I see right through me)

Who could stay? (4x)

You could stay

Combat, I’m ready for combat

These final lines of the song play a significant role in how Angel’s perspective on love can change for the future. Like I’ve said prior, Angel has never had anyone show real, genuine interest in him before, that is, until he met Husk. Husk has made it very clear in the beginning that he doesn’t like putting up with anyone’s bullshit. While his gruff, no-nonsense exterior may be off-putting to others, Angel is very attracted to how real Husk is in expressing how he feels and that is exactly the kind of person Angel needs in his life right now. Over some time throughout the series so far, we start to see a closer relationship develop between the two as well, how fond and comfortable they are of each other. This scares Angel because like all of his other relationships and his current predicament with Valentino, he’s afraid that Husk will voluntarily leave or be taken away from him forever. So in order to avoid that, Angel is determined to do everything he can to keep Husk a permanent part of his life.

Overall, Angel is well aware that he’s not an easy person to love, but with Husk, he feels as if he could be the one to truly understand and accept him for who he is. That maybe, and hopefully, Husk will be the one to stay for good❤️

A/n: yalll,, this is soo fucking long I’m so sorry😭 but I absolutely love these two with all my heart, literally on my hands and knees like this 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️ but anywaysss I really hoped you enjoyed it just as much as I loved writing it🥰 PLEASE give me all the feedback you have! I would love to hear everyone’s thoughts and opinions, it would really make my day🥹 Thanks for reading loves!!🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin angel dust #hazbin husk #angel dust #angel dust x husk #huskerdust #hazbin valentino #hazbin alastor #hazbin charlie #hazbin vaggie #nifty hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer #hazbin vox #hazbin sir pentious #hazbin cherri bomb

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