#these idiots make me so happy its unbelievable

[aezyrraeshh]

Daeran's hands tighten around her waist, bringing their bodies even closer, basking in the warmth of her. They've stopped swaying by this point, barely paying attention to the music either. The playful glint in his eyes is still there, shining even brighter when they drop to her lips. He can vividly imagine the taste of the wine they were drinking just a minute ago on them, intoxicating and tempting. It's an odd thing-- being under the adoring gaze of another, but neither of them feel trapped. In this moment, they are truly free: two ships sailing in the calm waters in the ocean of love.

template

[yan-lorkai]

Can we please have some hcs or oneshot where Yuu works at Mostro Lounge and has to deal with a difficult costumer? How would the octotrio react if said costumer tried to hit or insult Yuu? Platonically or romantic it's funny btw, thanks!

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: I was indecisive between platonic or romantic so I left ambiguous. I hope u enjoy, darling!

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warning: Yandere content, Floyd beating a random and reader knowing about their yandere tendencies but liking nonetheless.

A death wish. This customer has a death wish, holding you by the collar of your shirt while he glares right at you as a predator to his prey. You aren't a prey though, not that he knows this.

You look down, his blazer wet from the drink you purposely spilled on it because he was an annoying asshole. He looks angry or something but you don't care. Instead you focus on the reaction of your co-workers, some tremble knowing what's coming, others running to get Jade and Floyd. You almost can't wait.

"Sir," You smiled how Jade taught you. Sweet, disarmingly. Your fingers coming around to hold his wrist. "I apologize for this little accident. Though if you insist on being violent there will be consequences."

"Yeah and? Those idiot eels can't save ya now. I only need a second to mess your face!" He snorted, unable to stop the toothy grin from dominating his smug face. He was dumb, and oh so fascinating, you almost wished to study his brain but you knew not much would rest of him when your tweels got him.

He slapped you on your face hard enough that it send you stumbling to the ground, his hand already reaching for his magic pen, its tip lit by flames so bright your skin screamed. So hot, unbearably so, like fire. “You are nothing but a mere employee, you should know the customer is always right."

He was ready to strike you with all his might when a strong hand landed on his shoulder. It's was Floyd. The usual smiley eel was frowning now but a dark glint was raising on his eyes, mischievous, evil. He used to look at you like that when you used to tell him to leave you alone, though he was obviously more softer when roughhousing with you. With this customer though?

"Are you alright, my pearl?" Jade asks, helping you stand up and searching for injuries. But you assure him you're fine with a nod of your head, feeling if anything a little tired. It was so noisy today. And you were kind used to dealing with these type of costumers, used to see the punishments and then getting coddled by your favorite trio.

"Mind accompany me to Azul's office?" Jade offered you his arms which you accepted but still didn't move an inch. A smug smile now on your lips as the customer who was arguing with you now shaked under Floyd's stare. As he should.

"Destroy him," you said to him, eyeing the customer who pushed you. "and be quick, Floyd darling."

Then you walked to Azul's office, ignoring Floyd's laugh and the sounds of his fists hitting the other guy's face. You were used to things like that happening frequently but it did bother you that this was the only way for people to behave. The only way to correct their behavior, as this wasn't gonna happen if he wasn't harassing you and making uncomfortable comments about you.

The screams of pain and the smell of something burning was all you kept in your mind as you sat in Azul's office, Jade putting a glass of water on your hands for you to drink before seating by your side.

"Unbelievable," Azul looked at you, at your uniform crumpled. He stood up from his usual spot and held your face on his hands, so sofly, so lovingly, leaving a kiss on your forehead. "I can't leave you alone one minute, angelfish, look what he did to you!"

He pressed on a small scratch in your cheeks, swelled and hurting, it made you wince and Azul was not happy with it. You could see him planning something. Planning a revenge against that guy.

"Floyd better off him for touching you." Jade said, cleaning the scratch gently. "If he don't, perhaps I'll have something to nimble on later."

You laughed. They were overprotective of you, they were before, they are now. You kinda like it. You like their gentleness, the softness, the slow dancing with Azul when he didn't have a new victim to trick, cooking with Floyd and splashing water on Jade while you wash the dishes. The simple moments with them were precious, each and every single one. And of course you knew about their dark side, could see it as clear as day but you accepted them nevertheless.

As if you have a choice. You knew about the house they built underwater, decorated how you like, full of things you loved. You knew a lot of things even if you pretended you don't.

After making sure you weren't hurt and that everything was fine, they both wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you into a tight hug. “I love you guys, you know that?"

Azul hummed, exhaling in your scent as Jade leaned in to kiss your unharmed cheek. You knew they were swearing and angry at themselves to let you be alone out there, Jade and Azul stared at each other as if exchanging guilt and you didn't want them to feel like this. You held each of them their hand and squeezed both hard enough to get their attention.

"We should go out and do something," you suggested tiredly but your eyes lighted up with excitement with the prospect of doing something with your favorite trio. But before any plans could be made, Floyd barged into the office, his once-white shirt now stained crimson. As he always did, a wide grin stretched across his face, sending shivers down your spine.

As Floyd entered, we could see he was carrying a battered bag in one hand and clutching his side with the other. "He won't bother you anymore, Shrimp. I've made sure of it, ehehe."

Before anyone could respond, Floyd started recounting what he did in great detail, how he punched and squeezed and how the guy screamed. He throw himself in your lap mid-tale, wrapping his arms around your tummy. "Oi, shrimp pet my head." He asked.

And you did, combing through his strands delicately while he continued rambling. "And then I've dragged him outta here and told him not to come back."

"Thank you," you said to him. Then turned to Jade and Azul "and you two too!"

You didn't need to be comforted but their gesture was so sweet. If you have those three with you, you guess that you're going to be fine. Though you do wonder, would they laugh if they found out you did this on purpose? You can only imagine their answer as you wasn't planning to tell them.

[padfootagain]

Only an Almost (XX)

Chapter 20: Toothaches

Hi! Here is the very last chapter of this series!

Thank you all for reading, and for your reactions to this fic. I won’t lie, I’m very emotional as I say goodbye to this fic. I’ve worked on it for several months, it feels strange to let these two idiots go and live their happy lives now.

The next series I’ll post is my professor!AU, so stay tuned ;)

I hope you’ll like this chapter! Please, tell me what you think!

*************************************

Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader, friends with benefits AU

Warning: No explicit smut or nsfw content, but there are sexual themes and heavy make-out sessions (it’s a friends with benefits AU, I can’t really escape it), so 18+ only!

Summary: Andrew has been in love with you for years, and yet he has never confessed his feelings. But a night out celebrating the engagement of his best friend changes everything. However, you don't seem ready to be with him just yet. You make him an offer that he can't refuse... but will certainly regret.

Word Count : 2054

Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist

Two years later

You placed back the panel into the hive; gently, delicately, being careful not to harm any insect that might have gotten in the way.

The buzzing sounds around you were loud, but you were used to them by now. Accompanying Andrew once a week to take care of his bees, you had grown more confident around his tiny friends. You were a real pro now. A reassuring thought for him, now that he was about to tour again. He could place their safety in your loving hands.

“Alright, that was the last one,” Andrew spoke, a happy smile on his lips.

“Good job, ladies,” you complimented the bees, making Andrew chuckle fondly at you.

“Good job indeed. And to you, too. Good job, love.”

“Thanks! I am getting good at this!”

Andrew closed the hive, and you both made your way back to your house.

Your house. Andrew still struggled to wrap his mind around the idea that you were sharing a home now, but you did. Even after ten months, he still needed to pinch himself sometimes to believe it.

He helped you out of your beekeeping clothes, and you did the same for him. Teamwork at its finest to repeat movements you were both used to by now.

“You won’t be nervous to take care of the bees alone?” Andrew asked you, voice soft and tender as he brushed a strand of your hair out of your face.

“No, don’t worry! Besides, if I need help, I’ll just call the guys at the brewery!”

“Right. Don’t hesitate to call them if you need help.”

“Don’t worry, baby… I’ll be just fine.”

He nodded, his heart doing its usual little jump at the sound of the pet name. He bent down to drop a peck on the top of your head.

“Let’s eat some of this delicious honey our tiny workers have been making!” he offered, and you enthusiastically nodded, following him through the house and inside the kitchen.

The house had changed quite a bit since you had moved in. Asides from accommodating your belongings, it had gained a few plants, some decorating items, a little bit of your warmth that mingled with his own.

Outside the sun was shining brightly, spreading its beams through the kitchen, while Andrew was cutting some fruits and you were making coffee. You kissed his lips to steal a piece of apple, making him laugh at the mischief shining in your eyes.

“Thief,” he mumbled, still a little stunned after feeling your lips on his.

You merely giggled in response, the sound as sweet as the honey he was adding to the two bowls of fresh fruits.

“I love you too, baby,” you cooed, wrapping your arms around his waist to pull him closer, mischief written all over your features.

“You’re annoying.”

“Don’t I know that already.”

“Unbelievable, that’s what you are…”

“Hmm… Don’t I know that too…”

Slowly, Andrew bent closer and closer to your lips. A fall he longed for, a dive he dreamt about still.

“Insufferable…” he mumbled against your lips, before kissing you properly, hands rising to hold your face in place, to let his fingers disappear into your hair and his thumbs spray across your cheeks.

You tasted so sweet; like the apple you had stolen, like love turned into a flavour.

“Christ… I love you so fucking much,” he whispered as he rested his forehead against yours.

He brushed his knuckles across your cheekbone, gesture infinitely sweet, desperately tender.

You ran your fingers through his hair, and he couldn’t help but lean into your touch.

“I love you too, Andy,” you whispered, your breath fanning over his face. “I love you more than anything.”

He bent lower to wrap you in his embrace, to bury his face into your neck. He inhaled deeply your perfume, until the scent was carved into his lungs. He closed his eyes, shivered as your hand slowly moved from his hair to his chest, to rest right upon his heart.

“I’m going to miss you,” he whispered into your skin.

He listened to the little gasp you let out, he wasn’t certain whether it was because of his breath across your neck or the meaning of his words.

“I’ll miss you too. God… it feels like I miss you already.”

You pulled away, after granting him another minute of the intimate embrace. You turned to the table, grabbed a bowl and a spoon, took a bite. You hummed in satisfaction.

“Our honey really is the best in the world,” you nodded, making him laugh.

“Our honey? These are my hives. That my family gifted to me…”

“We both take care of the bees! It gives me some rights on them!”

“Some rights?”

“I get 51% of the honey.”

“So… the majority of it. Even if those are my hives…”

“Because you love me.”

“Oh, I see,” he couldn’t refrain a loud laugh.

“I’m sleeping with you for two reasons: the honey, and Raine.”

“I knew it. I knew you were using me for something.”

“Of course, I’m heartless.”

“Can’t blame you though… the honey is delicious,” he added a hum of approval, as if to prove his point, while he took another bite of grapes, apples and honey.

You finished eating in silence. It was comfortable, comforting even. Warm and happy and full of love. You sat down after a couple of minutes, and your feet were touching under the table, a mingling of limbs just to make sure that you were always touching.

It was simple, domestic. Andrew caught himself staring at you, at the way the sun embraced your features and got caught in your eyelashes, pearling on their curve.

There was a deep, warm feeling bubbling in his chest, the kind he had felt before, for other women. But never to this extent, never reaching this absolute tenderness that was coursing through his veins as he looked at you. You, sharing a simple snack with him, in his kitchen. You weren’t leaving, you were home. You were his home and he was yours.

As he stared at you nipping on a grape, he was more content with his life than he had ever been.

You started humming, the melody of a song you had heard on the radio that morning, he couldn’t remember the title nor the lyrics. Still, he hummed along, and the sound seemed to make you grin.

“On a scale of ‘being happy to finally be rid of me’ to ‘on the verge of total panic’… how are you feeling about me leaving for tour tomorrow?” Andrew asked softly, his voice almost a whisper, afraid to break the warmth of the moment you were sharing together.

You blinked at him, put down your spoon in your bowl, and reached out across the table for his hand. He held it without a second thought, brushing his thumb across your knuckles.

“I’d say… a strong 5. ‘Sad that you’re leaving, but certain that we’ll make it work’.”

You offered him a reassuring smile, and he let out a long exhale.

“Are you angry against me for leaving?” he asked, but you were quick to shake your head.

“Of course not… that’s your job. And you were meant to be a musician, there is no doubt about it. I’m glad you’re doing what you love… I’ll just miss you.”

“You’ll wait for me, right?” he asked, voice quiet and vulnerable. He brushed his hair away from his face in a hurried and nervous gesture.

But you were calm, perfectly confident and serene as you answered.

“Of course. There is no need to ask that question. We’ve talked about this, we have a plan. We’ll be fine.”

The plan…

A call every day, no matter the time difference. A flight to join him in four weeks, a flight to join you again in nine. Texts whenever you woke up and before going to sleep. Updates on your books. No secrets, no lies, no attempts to hide if something didn’t feel right. And then it would start all over again after his two-weeks break, in eleven weeks. And again, and again, an unbreakable cycle for the foreseeable future. It was alright. Andrew knew he would still love you the same, even from the other side of the globe. But that was the breaking point for all his previous relationships, the distance and the missing and the loneliness that came with him.

And yet, when you tightened your hold on his hand and he focused on your eyes again, there was no trace of hesitation or doubt whatsoever there.

“You didn’t want to date me because of this, at the beginning…” he went on, but you shrugged.

“It was two years ago. I was afraid. I’m not scared anymore.”

“Really?” he asked, raising an eyebrow in surprise.

“No… I’m happy with you. I love you. I know we can do this. I have no doubt about us.”

His lips parted in a somehow shocked smile, and he had to blink to process your words.

“I have no doubt about my love for you either,” Andrew answered. “You’re right, I shouldn’t worry so much.”

You looked down at the bowl before you, it was almost empty already.

“I will burn your collection of Heaney’s books if you miss more than three phone calls, you are warned,” you joked, making him laugh again.

“How cruel! Leave Seamus out of it! He did nothing to you!”

“I don’t have a choice, I know you love him more than me!”

You were laughing, clearly joking, and yet Andrew’s expression softened.

“Now, that would be impossible. I couldn’t love anyone or anything more than I love you.”

You stared at him with an emotional smile on your lips, knowing that he was being serious, that he truly meant it… and he did. The songs he had written for you were proof. He hoped that the things he did for you every day were enough to demonstrate his feelings too.

He was surprised when you stood up, when you circled the table to stand by his side, waiting until he had pushed his chair so you could straddle his laps. You held him tightly against you, arms around his neck and face buried in his hair. He held you with the same affection, the same desperate need to show you how much he loved you.

“You don’t have to worry, Andy. I’ll wait for you,” you whispered in his ear, making his heart stumble and quicken at the same time, his breath catching in his throat. “You’re the love of my life. I want to spend all the time I have left with you.”

Andrew blinked, tightened his hold on you, tried to take in your words and their meaning and what it meant to have you confessing such feelings for him.

You pulled away as he started laughing, still sitting on his laps but frowning at his reaction.

When he looked at you, he wasn’t hiding the adoration he felt for you.

“And I was afraid I was being too cheesy…” he chuckled, making you roll your eyes.

“Eejit…” you mumbled, a fond smile on your lips still.

“I thought I was the one breaking the crazy love confessions quota in this relationship…”

“Don’t make me regret saying it!” you joked, moving closer again.

He brushed a strand of your hair behind your ear, putting all of his love in his gaze and his gesture.

“I feel the same, you know?” he grew more serious again. “You’re the one for me. It was always you, my love.”

You smiled just like he did, a mirror of emotions and love and something close to relief. You rested your forehead against his, closed your eyes.

Andrew thought about the break he would have in nine weeks, about coming home to you. He thought about the next leg of touring, and the break that would follow. And he thought about coming home to you with a ring in his suitcase, and he thought about you in a white dress, about waking up with you every day, going to sleep with your hand in his every night…

When he kissed your lips again, they tasted sweet, like the future they promised.

[if-mirrormine]

i'll always save you

summary: grayson is called out on a case involving the mc.

pairing: grayson x mc

word count: 8029

based on the request: i was wondering what would happen if grayson got a call while on duty that mc crashed into a river somehow, and when they get there, mcs body isn't in the car, but there's evidence their body was there, like blood or broken glass, but mc happened to get out of the car and swam to the bank/shore of the river? like mcs just laying on the shore, soaked, out of breath, and kinda injured👀

**unedited//me? writing a drabble at 1 a.m.? it's more likely than you think.**

request a drabble here!

grayson sits idly at his desk, his leg bouncing up and down as he flicks in his pen between his index and middle fingers. he's bored. it's a slow night, which he should be grateful for, but the lack of crime means only one thing: paperwork. mountains of it. taking up the entirety of his desk and blocking his view of the other half of the precinct. perhaps if he didn't put off the task until last minute he wouldn't be here now but even with nothing else to, he can't bring himself to do it.

he's just about to convince himself to get to work when kelsey comes into view. he didn't even hear her get up from her desk across from his and walk over. but now that she's in front of him, he's happy to have something else to do.

"i'd ask how its going over here but given that you've been staring into space for the last half hour, i'd say that answers my question." she sits on the edge of his desk, her arms crossed over her chest as she glances down at the files behind her.

"can you blame me?" he sighs before tossing his pen on the desk, leaning back on his chair as he drags his hands through his hair. "i'm this close to blowing my brains out."

quirking up an eyebrow at him, she smiles. "do i need to take your gun and put it on a high shelf somewhere?"

he grins. "aren't i taller than you?"

"semantics," she says, waving him off. "you want something to do?"

resisting the urge to bolt out of his chair and out the precinct, he sits up straighter, entirely more alert at the prospect of getting to put off doing paperwork slightly longer. "why didn't you lead with that?" he questions and she rolls her eyes playfully. "what is it?"

"got a call while you were daydreaming," she says. "some idiot drove their car off a bridge. my money's on drunk driver."

at that, he stands up, whipping his jacket off the back of his chair and pulling it on. "it usually is." looking at his partner, he gestures to the exit. "what are we waiting for? let's go."

sliding off the desk, she rolls her eyes again and follows him out.

the bridge has been cordoned off, the night illuminated by red and blue flashing lights. there's an officer waiting for them when they arrive, explaining what happened without so much as a hello. there had indeed been a drunk driving, swerving in and out of lanes before throwing themselves out of their vehicle and into traffic. they currently sit in the back of an ambulance, mostly unharmed, and their car still sitting on the bridge.

"i though the call was about someone driving off the bridge," kelsey says, confusion twisting her features.

"someone did drive off the bridge, ma'am," the officer says and she narrows her eyes at him. "probably to avoid killing the guy. though they're probably worse off now than if they had run him over."

"probably?" grayson questions. "you mean no ones gone down to check?"

the officer pales slightly, shrinking back into himself as he avoids looking at him in the eye. "n-no, sir. it's really difficult to get down there, we were waiting for more experienced personnel."

"unbelievable." taking a deep breath, grayson fixes the officer with a look that would be sure to kill. "we'll go check. make yourself useful and get the witness statements."

"yes, sir!" the officer runs off quickly, nearly tripping over his feet in an attempt to get away from them.

"do i really look like ma'am?" kelsey asks as they begin walking over.

"what would you have preferred he called you?"

"oh, i don't know... detective montgomery maybe?"

"he probably doesn't know any better," grayson grumbles. "he barely looks old enough to be a highschool student, let alone fresh out of the academy." kelsey snorts as they come to a stop at the side of the bridge. the ravine falls off into darkness at a near ninety degree angle and when he shines his flashlight down, rocks and mud pave the way down to the water. looking at kelsey, he finds she's already looking at him.

straightening her back, she salutes him. "godspeed, soldier."

he sighs at the thought of having to go down there by himself but he doesn't argue the matter. "at least there are paramedics on standby," he says. "i imagine i'll be needing one by the time i get to the bottom."

kelsey grins at him. "on the bright side, you won't have to do any more paperwork."

"because i'll be dead? yeah, i'd sure hope so."

"i'll tell your mother you loved her."

he rolls his eyes in amusement as he begins his descent. his shoes slide slightly in the mud and he has to slow his pace to not fall but after what feels like forever, he makes it to the bottom. the river is oddly calm, the waves lapping softly at his feet and he shines his flashlight over the water in search of the car. in the middle of the river, somewhat under the bridge, black metal sparkles under the light. the tail end of the car stick out of water, the window of the backseat just barely visible and he swings the beam of flashlight around to look for the licence plate.

"how's it looking, gray?" kelsey calls down to him and he glances up at her briefly to see her standing with her own flashlight.

"well it's not great," he calls back. "im looking for the plates."

as soon as the words leave his mouth, his eyes latch onto the sequence of numbers and letters and he quickly realises its one that he's got memorised. his blood runs cold, his heart damn near stops beating and he's filled with all the same dread and panic he felt ten years ago.

mc. it always come back to the mc.

he's in the water before he even knows it. kelsey is calling him again, demanding to know what the hell he's doing and why but he can't think of anything else but his best friend. he has to get to them, he has to save them. nothing else matters.

his own name is the last thing he hears as he dives below the surface, the ice cold water shocking his system that he almost exhales all his oxygen. weighed down by his clothes, he forces his limbs to work even harder and before long, he sees the vague outline of the car in the murky water.

confusion takes over when he presses his face to the passenger side window and sees that the car is empty, the drivers door hanging open. empty. they mustve been able to escape before the car went under. relief begins to take over as he swims to the surface. oh, his brilliant mc.

gasping for the breath when he breaks the surface, he thrashes around, attempting to search for them in the darkness. he dropped his flashlight somewhere between seeing the licence plate and diving in the water, and he regrets not holding onto it a little tighter. he screams their name, hoping with everything fibre of his being that they're nearby and can hear him.

"grayson!" kelsey calls to him and he looks back to see her standing where he did just moments before, having made her way down the ravine when he dived in.

"it's mc!" he calls back. "they made it out; look for them along the shoreline!"

he doesn't wait for her response, instead swimming as fast as he can to the other side of the river. pulling himself out and wiping the water from his eyes, he takes off running again. his panic comes flooding back in full force, the relief he felt dwindling fast the further he goes. he screams their name, over and over again, only to be met by silence each time. not again, he thinks. please not again.

he skids to a stop when he sees a body lying on the shore and he stops breathing for a moment before he's moving again. dropping to his knees beside them, the pale light of the moon illuminating their face and he cries in relief upon seeing its mc. they're bruised and cut up, blood drying on their face but their chest rises and falls ever so slightly and that's enough for him.

"i'm here, mc," he says, pulling them into his arms and eliciting a groan from them. "you're okay." he rises to his feet, holding them close to his chest as he makes his way back to the bridge. he hates the thought of almost losing them a second time but he tries to focus on the positive, of them alive in his arms. pressing a kiss to their hair, he makes a vow to himself to do whatever it takes to keep them safe, no matter the cost.

[thenewausten]

Quackity Imagine: It's not too late. Part 2: "Can we start again?"

Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/thenewausten/744114077422534656/quackity-imagine-its-not-too-late-part-1-you?source=share

Alex: can you unblock me on Instagram?

You: why?

Alex: because I want to follow you on it??? maybe stalk you a bit...

You: 🙄

Alex: are you better, by the way? I didn't want to send a message before so you could have your time

You: I was better but you texted me, now I'm miserable again

Alex: fuck you, Y/N

You: I unblocked you. I didn't know you were that famous, dude

Alex: already stalking me???? Jesus, Y/N...

You: my life was better when you weren't on it

Alex: stopppp 😭

You: so, what do you want?

Alex: I want to talk with you, are you free tonight???

You: uh... for you? never

Alex: I'm serious, Y/N

You: sorry, Mr. Serious. I'm single so, yes, I'm free. there's nothing to do on a Friday night when you don't have a partner

Alex: yeah... I know it 🥲

You: pick me up at 7pm

Alex: where???

You: uh... my house?

Alex: sure, princess

You: see ya, Shrek

Alex: OHH GUCK YOU!!!!!

You hated to admit Alex was making you smile and even laugh to your phone, but could you blame yourself? Your groom just broke up with you after admitting he was cheating on you with his co-worker. You deserved a little laughter in your life, c'mon.

At 7pm you hear Alex's car in front of your house. As soon as you get out, you see him leaning against the car with a flower in his hand."Hey." He says as you approach him, looking at the rose."Uh, I stole it from your garden. It's for you, tho." He gives it to you and you laugh."You're unbelievable, Alex." You accept the rose and smile a bit. "Let's go." He says and opens the door of his car for you. "Thanks."

"Where are you taking me, Alex?" You ask as he starts to drive."To a restaurant. It's one of my favourites."

"Cool." You say, looking to the rose on your hand."Are you better? Like, seriously." He asks, you can feel the worry on his words and it hurts you a little."Yes, I mean, I'm better. I had a long conversation with my best friend, mom and therapist, so..." You shrug and he giggles."He cheated on me, I'm glad he broke up." You finish and he nods."I'm happy for you, Y/N."

"Thanks. And you? Like, how are you?" You ask, he stays in silence for, like, a second or two."I'm fine, I guess."

"Really? Tell me more about you. Do you have a therapist?!"

"Uh, yes." He answers."He's nice. I don't know what to say about me, I mean, I'm a lawyer and have a Minecraft server, and..."

"How can you be a lawyer and a streamer at the same time?! I mean, do you have a lawyer personality or...?"

"Yes, I do." He laughs."I can't be an idiot on court." You laugh.

Alex stops his car in front of a fancy restaurant. Like, what the fuck?! You were happy you were with a nice dress, but it still didn't seem to be enough."You should tell me so I'd dress properly." You whisper as he opens the door of his car for you."Relax, you're great." He says with a smile on his face, you roll your eyes and smile a bit.

It's funny that your ex was treating you better than the man you were supposed to get married. You though with yourself. Alex guides you to the fancy restaurant and starts to talk with the hostess about the reservation of your guys table. The hostess starts to guide you to your table and Alex puts a hand on your back, his touch making you shiver a little.

"Thank you." He says to the hostess as she goes away, Alex helps you to sit and then sits in front of you."How long have you had the Coffee Shop and the Flower Shop?" He asks. "Two years. I went to Cambridge to study Business Administration and then I decided to risk something and open the Coffee Shop and the Flower Shop." You answer him, he smiles to you."That's nice. Can I visit it some day?" You laugh."Of course, I'm going to poison your coffee and give you flowers with bees."

"The flowers would be for you, so you'd be the one harmed, you know?" He says."Then I'm going to poison your coffee, I think it's enough." You smile as he laughs."You're so bad with me, Y/N."

"You deserve it." You whisper, seriously."I'm sorry." He says, suddenly."What?"

"I shouldn't have broken up with you. Not like that." He starts."I was stupid back then, but I was also scared and passing through a lot of shit, I didn't want to be a terrible boyfriend to you."

"You never were, Alex." You answer, feeling you'd cry at any time."You were so good to me, that's why it hurts to this day. I mean, I couldn't forgive you for leaving."

"I understand, I don't forgive me either." He whispers."But I also see that it was necessary because I didn't want to hurt you or traumatize you. Like, in any way."

"Are you already with someone else?" You hear a voice that, unfortunately, you know very well."Damn, Y/N." You look up and see your ex with a blonde woman. His co-worker.

"What are you doing here?" You ask him, confused and chocked to react to his question."I mean, what? You were the one cheating on me."

"Apparently you were cheating too, right?" He says, the anger in his voice makes you shiver a little."Hey, can you leave Y/N in peace, please? You don't have anything to do with her anymore." You hear Alex's voice."Yeah, who are you?" Your ex asks as Alex starts to get up. "I'm Alex. Now, leave."

"Ain't no 'fuckin way. Y/N, I want to talk with you. C'mon, get up." He says to you as you don't even move."Baby, is it necessary?" The blonde co-worker asks to him."Of course it's!"

"I don't want to talk with you, I want you to leave me alone with Alex." You say, indignant at the audacity of your ex, like, who does he think he's?!"Did you do that whole scene at the party when you were already with someone else?"

"Can you stop? You're making me feel ashamed." You say to him as you see some people are looking to your table."He's a friend."

"You don't have to explain anything to him, Y/N." Alex says as your ex starts to stare him."Dude, leave. She doesn't want to talk with you."

"You're her ex-boyfriend." You whisper a "shit" as you hear it. "Can you call security for us?" Alex asks to a waiter and sighs, frustrated."You're being inconvenient." You whisper to your ex, getting up."Why don't you have your dinner with your partner and leave me alone with mine?"

"She's right, baby." His co-worker says."I always knew that you never stopped loving him." He ignores his partner and says that."You're never happy with me."

"I was. But you were a terrible boyfriend sometimes." You say to him."You cheated on me, c'mon!"

"You're terrible in bed, that's the reason why I cheated on you." He says, as it was a plausible justification. Your cheeks burning red with embarrassment as you hear him say it loud and clear for some people around you to hear it."And you're boring, so..."

"What's wrong with you, dude?" Alex asks and pushes him away from you."Hey, can you take this man out of the restaurant? He's harassing my friend." He says as soon as the security approaches."That's not true, I was just talking with my ex." Your ex says as the security approaches him. "Please, follow me." The security grabs his arm to guide him to the exit of the restaurant.

"Are you okay, Y/N?" Alex approaches you."Can we leave? I don't want to be here anymore." You whisper to him and he nods."Of course, love. Let's go." He guides you to the exit, you both find your ex and his co-worker discussing."Can I go there and punch him on the face?" Alex asks to you and you laugh."No, I don't want to talk to him." You say."You don't have to. Wait for me in the car." He gives you his keys and you grab his arm to stop him from going."Stop, 'Lex." He stops and turn around to look at your face."Can you say it again?" He asks with a smile on his lips."What? Stop?" He laughs."The nickname." You smile to him as he puts his hands on your waist."'Lex?" You repeat it and he nods with a smile on his face."You always called me that when we were dating."

"Yeah, I know." You whisper."Do you want me to take you to your house?" He asks."No, I want you to visit my Coffee Shop, do you want to?" You ask him and he nods."I thought it was closed right now." He says, confused."It's, but I can open it only for the two of us."

You explain to Alex where's your Coffee Shop and in less than ten minutes, he's admiring the place, chocked with the beauty of it."You decorated it, right? It's screaming Y/N." You laugh and nod."Yes, I did. Can I serve you the best Coffee that we have?" You ask him."Of course. Are you going to poison it?"

"Obviously. Take a sit, please." He sits on a chair and you move yourself to the kitchen. You prepare the coffee for the two of you and also put an apple pie to bake. Minutes later, you take it to him."Thank you." You smile to him and sit next to him."I can't believe you almost married that stupid man, Y/N."

"Yeah, I mean, I thought... He was the right guy, you know? For a long time I thought it. But he's not." You say and Alex nods."He made me feel so embarrassed."

"Don't worry, he's an asshole. You're not boring and much less terrible in bed." You laugh."Oh, shut up!"

"I'm serious." He says as he laughs."Fine, then. Drink the coffee." You point to his coffee and he drinks it."Wow." He whispers."It's really good." You smile."I'm going to give you all my money for the rest of my life, I guess."

"Thanks." He smiles to you."I know you probably don't want to date someone right now, but, uh... I never stopped loving you, I always searched for you in other people and I could never be satisfied. None of them were you and it killed me to know that I'd never stop loving you and probably would never see you again. When I saw in that party, I... I mean, was the best day of my life in the last five years. Nothing that I did in my career or even personal life made me as happy as seeing you again."

You think you've never started crying so quickly, feeling your heart ache at Alex's words. You also never thought you'd feel so much love for someone."I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you cry." He whispers, his hand touches your back, gently comforting you."I... I never stopped loving you either, Alex. I thought I could be happy with other people, that I'd be complete with them, but something was always missing. And I tried to forget you, but I could never do it."

Alex approaches you and pulls you into a hug, kissing your head."Can we start again? I mean, can I take you to dates, give you bouquet of flowers and visit you on your work? I want to call you when I'm stressed just to hear your voice and I want to take you to trips and I want to give you the love you deserve. I promise you, this time I won't let you go." He whispers and you pull away to face him."Of course, I want to. I just, I need some time alone, you know? But I don't want to stop seeing you, I want you to be part of my life again."

"I'll wait for you, Y/N. Eres el amor de mi vida." He whispers and holds your face."You're the love of my life too, Alex." You smile to him as he smiles to you."I missed you." You whisper and hug him again, he hugs your waist."I missed you too."

Note: I'll write part 3 to end the story <3

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy the writing! :)

Requests are open!

[sarcasticsra]

I cannot stress enough how much everyone should watch Starkid’s A VHS Christmas Carol if you haven’t seen it yet. It’s pretty short, only about 45 minutes, and it’s truly one of the best adaptations of A Christmas Carol that I’ve ever seen.

No, seriously. I think it has even surpassed The Muppets Christmas Carol for me. That has been my favorite Christmas movie since I was a child. My mom and sister and I used to watch it every Christmas Eve. I still love it dearly and it is an amazing adaptation that I’ll defend to my death, but you guys. You guys. A VHS Christmas Carol is just THAT GOOD.

It’s done in the style of 80s music/videos, which is delightful. It’s an opera, so it’s all sung through, which I love. And it’s so good!

Let me enumerate the ways. Spoilers to follow. (Can you spoil A Christmas Carol? Once a story becomes public domain does that exempt it from spoiling? Idk, lol. Spoilers for the show, anyway. Also for Avatar: The Last Airbender. …I promise there’s a path.)

1) Bah Humbug! - Song number one and it goes hard right from the start. It is everything an opening number should be. Dynamic, sets the tone, and an incredible fucking bop. The interactions between Scrooge and Fred and Scrooge and Bob are done so well, too. You so quickly get a sense of their characters. Obviously we know their characters because this is a story that has been told many a time before, but it does it so well that you would immediately get them even if you were an alien who had never in your existence been exposed to A Christmas Carol in any capacity. That’s impressive to me. It’s not relying on the familiarity of the story to do its character work.

2) 3 Spirits - I love the tone of this song. This is a Marley with true regret and pain who is absolutely pleading with Scrooge to take the chance he’s being given. It’s less “scared straight” and more, “I need you to understand this like you’ve never understood anything before.” Marley becomes a character in his own right as opposed to merely a backdrop for Scrooge to react to. That’s a theme with this adaptation. Characters who are pretty flat in a lot of adaptations seem so much more like real people in this one. Also, whoever decided to cast Meredith as Marley here is a fucking genius. She’s so goddamn talented and she really shines here. The emotion, the weight. Gah. Beautiful. The interplay between Marley and Scrooge is incredible as well; these are two insanely talented performers breathing a new life into tried and true characters, and you really feel the relationship between them.

3) I’m The Ghost - Christmas Past is so pointed and snarky and incredible, making Scrooge come to certain realizations. “Huh, little boy left all alone. Oh, your sister died so young. Didn’t she have a son though? Why are the employees so happy, this party didn’t cost much? Thinking of something? Okay, last stop, buckle up, it’s all your own doing.” I love it so much.

4) That Scrooge - You guys. You guys. They’ve done what I assumed was impossible. They’ve done what even the Muppets couldn’t. It’s a Scrooge-Belle breakup song that isn’t the most unbelievably boring and bland thing you’ve ever heard in your life. Belle is a fucking person! She has a personality! She’s very clearly stating her case, that he’s changed and she doesn’t like it and does he have anything to say? No? Okay, bye! THE EMOTION IN THIS SONG. Scrooge starts singing not just with her but to her! All the things he didn’t say before! And then he starts singing angrily about/at his past!self for being an idiot! You actually FEEL THINGS about this relationship. It was a deep love and losing it super fucked him up! I have never before seen Belle/Scrooge done as well as this one (1) song handles it.

5) Christmas Electricity - Get ready to have this song stuck in your head for ten thousand years. This song is, I believe, the standard classical definition of “a fuckin’ bop.” It’s so high energy and exciting, you really can understand how Scrooge gets so caught up in it himself. You also see more of Fred in this song and, again, he’s a person! He has specific motivations for why he keeps reaching out to Scrooge. Corey’s Fred is hands down one of the best performances of this character full stop. He took what is usually a bit, side character and made him a full human with understandable thoughts and feelings. They gave the Fred-Scrooge relationship such incredible emotional weight because of it. I think that’s one of my favorite aspects of this adaptation.

6) Priceless - Here we see the Cratchits enjoying their Christmas with an incredibly sweet song about having little but feeling like they have a lot. I really like the way this song feels a bit cheesy (goes with the whole 80s vibe) but they also feel like a real family with some silliness and some sweetness and Bob’s wife having very strong opinions about Scrooge that he’s too polite for. Also “listen to this key change out of the bridge” goddamn just show off constantly how freaking talented this entire cast is, why don’t you.

7) The Final Ghost - I probably have too much to say about this song. It’s my favorite, which considering this entire show is pitch fucking perfect, is really saying a lot. Dylan Saunders is truly one of the most talented performers I’ve ever seen, and his Scrooge is so, so good. It really shines through here. His interactions with Christmas Future show him mirroring Bob from earlier (he has a line that’s almost an exact quote of a line from Bob in Bah Humbug!), correcting himself, and trying to be respectful/humble. Subtle displays of emotional growth even before he gets to the truly scary parts. The song is of course a darker tone, as is correct for this part of the narrative, perfectly setting up the finale song. We get Scrooge overhearing about a funeral no one cares about, the same man being robbed after death, and this death bringing actual happiness to people. Throughout it all so far Christmas Future only speaks in a wordless melody, as is apt. Scrooge asks for tenderness connected to death and is shown the Cratchits mourning Tiny Tim, which breaks him, and he asks who the dead man was from earlier. Still wordless, Christmas Future leads him to a cemetery, and that wordless melody perfectly transforms into an eerie, ethereal, “Ebenezer Scrooge.” The fucking amount of sheer EMOTION Dylan packs into Scrooge pleading for his soul, that he is changed, and the final bit of narration… fuck, you guys, it’s so good. I love all of the “scene” parts of this song so much. It all builds so perfectly.

7a) The narrator. - This isn’t a specific song, I just want to call out how excellent the narrator is through the whole show and how perfectly the narration ties the whole show together. It’s one of those things where it goes unnoticed because it’s so perfect, but if it were bad you would definitely notice. You need it to be there and understated or a lot a falls apart, but it can be such hard balance to strike. This show nails it.

8) Christmas Day - The finale! And what a finale it is! The energy is a perfect contrast to the song before it as Scrooge delights in being alive and having time to make things right. His joy is palpable as he goes about his day, buying Bob a huge turkey, making an incredible donation to the charity he blew off the day before, and showing up at Fred’s. Guys. This scene. Especially when I watch the live, but even sometimes just via the soundtrack, this scene just fucking perfectly, beautifully guts me. You know how in Avatar: The Last Airbender, Zuko has to go on his whole narrative arc to eventually join the right side, and along the way sort of betrays his Uncle Iroh, aka the only good father figure he’s ever had, because he’s a traumatized teenager, and eventually he meets back up with him and starts stumbling out an apology and Iroh just sweeps him up in a hug without a word, and you sob because it’s perfect? That is the energy present in this, what, 15-second scene, just this incredible emotional buildup and payoff accomplished in a scant 45-minute runtime. It’s truly wondrous. The finale, as all true finales should, calls back musically to previous character beats, and ends on the perfect bookend to the opening number. It’s just so, so immensely satisfying.

Tl;dr - this musical has made me feel more Christmas-y than I have in a long, long time, and I have listened to little else in terms of music since I watched it two weeks ago. (It was literally the only music I had listened to since then until right now, and that’s only because I’m in a van on a road trip to my sister-in-law’s for Christmas. While I would have been perfectly content to listen to this soundtrack on repeat for the entire 8-hour drive, I also recognize that the four other people in this van do not have my particular flavor of hyperfixated ADHD brain and probably would not appreciate that, heh. Thus I played it once and then other music. Compromise!)

But yes. Seriously. It’s so good. Gah. Go watch it!

[sabraeal]

at home with the glass half empty, Part 1

[Read on AO3]

It’s not that Nanami expected fanfare when he returned to the realm of curses and sorcerers; they hardly have time to mourn their dead, let alone celebrate the living. It’s only…

There should be more to it than this. More than Gojo-senpai’s crooned, ‘Nanami-kun’ crackling over the speaker of his phone, rousing him before even the sun's bothered to heave itself over the horizon. More than the mission brief being a location and time couched in a stream of that idiot's nonsense, more than showing up at to the rendezvous as the sole adult not wearing his high school uniform--

More than the situation going pear-shaped at the moment of contact. At least, that's what he'd thought there'd be when he still trained under these people. Last minute texts seemed normal when he was just some shitty teenager; when he was just some student called in as an afterthought once instructors had deemed the situation safe enough to stand in for a lesson. He'd assumed that when he was an adult, when he finally became a peer rather than a pupil, he'd finally be privy to all the secret strategies the other sorcerers seemed to know down to their bones

Now he'd just settle for a plan before they turned a children’s park into a battleground.

Cursed energy drips off his knuckles, liquid in a way real fire never could be. It flickers with the same frantic rhythm as his breath, a flare of flame before it extinguishes itself on the concrete. That had been the reason he’d left, wasn’t it? That there never had been a plan. That their only way of fighting the creeping tide of humanity’s apathy was to throw more bodies at the problem until it was solved.

Even if those bodies were children.

“Threat neutralized,” he pants, quenching the cursed energy licking over his shoulders. They tense in its wake, braced for a fight long over. “…Gojo-san.”

“As expected from my reliable kouhai!” A lanky arms slings itself over his shoulders, drawing him far too close to that smug smile. “Tell me, was it fun? Is it just like old times?”

“I’ve been doing this for a year.” And Gojo-senpai— intolerable, as always— never changes his script. Unbelievable that they gave this man dominion over children. “It’s shit.”

He nods, sagely. “Just like old times.”

Isn’t that the truth. Nanami plucks his blazer off the carousel's rail, slinging it over his shoulders. “If there’s nothing else…?”

“What? You’re not going to stick around? Reminisce about old times?” Gojo’s lip juts out, wounded. “Come on, Nanami-kun—”

“I told you not to call me that.” They’re work colleagues, not classmates.

“You were a salaryman, weren’t you? You know about post-work drinks. Happy Hour?”

He hadn’t gone to those either, not once it was clear he would make more money on overtime than schmoozing for a promotion. “It’s two in the afternoon.”

“Lunch, then,” Gojo-senpai decides far too quickly. As if he’d already planned— “I made bento!”

Ah, there it is. The metal teeth snapping shut on this trap. “All right,” he sighs, slumping under his senpai’s weight. “Show me this…bento.”

*

The paper bag should have been his warning. It’s rumpled, like it’d been pulled out of the bin, the top not even neatly rolled down but merely clenched shut in Gojo-senpai’s fist, like a cartoon bank robber making his getaway.

“I made your favorite,” he says, so saccharine Nanami’s teeth ache. “What is it you always get now? The casse-croute.”

The casse-croûte is a light meal— a snack, really, though a substantial one— an idea that includes but is not exclusive to sandwiches. What he prefers is the jambon-buerre, the parisien, a baguette slathered in butter and layered with Paris ham— or more often, prosciutto— lettuce and brie. But the konbini around here don’t make a distinction between the two, and by the terrible mockery Gojo-senpai’s mouth makes of a French accent, neither will he.

He takes the bag anyway, top pinched between two of his fingers. Between the grit of his teeth, Nanami manages, “Thank you for the meal.”

What he finds inside is…unspeakable.

“Is this…?” His mouth works, at a loss. “Mozzarella?”

“Nice, isn’t it?” Gojo-senpai’s nose wrinkles above his own egg salad, pressed sloppily between two slices of white bread. “Better than that stinky stuff they usually put on. You know it has a rind?”

The bread squishes beneath his fingers— not a baguette at all, not even a French loaf, but some sort of mass-produced bread-like product. A...sandwich roll, shoved into a plastic bag with a half dozen other of its ilk, sold for cheap and then bought by this absolute fool to be split in twain and abet this blasphemy trying to pass as a sandwich. The lettuce is soggy and— he’s pretty sure— shredded. Maybe even iceburg.

Even still, his mouth salivates. Not for this abomination, but the superior sandwich it apes; the same way cursed spirits shuffle, mere shadows of the human fears that birth them. One sitting behind a glass case, wrapped in crinkling film, crusty bread glimmering enticingly beneath the bakery’s lights. He can taste it, the funk of the cheese and the crispness of the lettuce, the baguette shedding sesame as it yielded to his teeth. And the girl behind the counter—

It’s much better than the konbini’s, isn’t it? The curse coiled on her shoulder cocked its fly-head to match hers, as if it had a share in her pride. As if it were anything more than a leech, sucking the life out of her sip by sip, until only a hollowed-out shell remained. He’d gotten rid of it; his last gift to the world he’d left behind. To the girl who made the perfect jambon-buerre.

A year ago now. His mouth twists. A lot can happen in a year. Do her shoulders still sit so proud? So easy? If he went back, would he find her still smiling, or would there be another one of those worms wrapped around her neck, squeezing tighter every night. Killing her day by day, unchecked, no sorcerer to—

Nanami balls up the bag, sandwich and all, and throws it into the nearest bin. That has nothing to do with him now.

“What’s the matter, Nanami-kun?” Gojo sing-songs, impossibly long limbs sprawled over the bench, taking up as much space as his smile. “Don’t like the sandwich? What’s wrong, too much mayo?”

Mayo. He pinches his nose, adjusting the way his glasses straddle it. “I don’t like anything about this.”

The sandwich, the job. The growing amount of cursed spirits spawning around the city. The strange way Gojo-senpai smiles when he asks about it. Gojo-senpai in general.

His phone buzzes in his pocket. Gojo's must as well; he slips his out from his trousers, brows knitted as his eyes scan over the message.

“Lucky us,” he drawls, smirk stiff as a carcass across the spread of his lips. “Another cursed spirit, and only a few streets over.”

Nanami frowns as the man unfurls from the bench, casual as a cat on its way to batter yet another mouse. “There’s more now, aren’t there? That’s why you were all so happy to have me back.”

“Whatever do you mean, my dear kouhai?” Gojo swings close— too close, his mouth all teeth. “Clearly we missed your scintillating personality.”

“It’s gotten worse.” He doesn’t need to see the man’s eyes to know how tightly he’s holding them, not when the rest of him is strung as taut as piano wire. “You think they’re going to overrun us, the way they did when Geto-san—”

“See? There he is.” One of those long hands reach out, patting him on the cheek. Slapping, really. “That’s the kouhai I missed so much. Nanami-kun, always so positive.”

“Don’t call me that,” he grunts, shrugging him off. A tug fixes the sit of his blazer of his shoulders. “Come on, let’s get going. I’m not about to put in overtime for you.”

Gojo rocks back on his heels as he walks away, taking in a deep breath. Despite the clear skies, a thunder rumbles through the city.

“It’s a lovely day for walk, isn’t it?” he hums, the words dogging Nanami’s heels. “How lucky for us.”

*

The cursed spirit might only have been lingering only a few streets away, but it’s a slippery one, leading them on what Gojo calls a ‘merry chase’ to the other side of town. By the time they corner it, writhing and helpless now that senpai's patience has run out, his stomach is empty enough that even that war crime of a sandwich seems appetizing.

A good thing that he’d put it in the garbage, then. Nanami would never be able to live with himself if he ate mayonnaise with brie. He had never been to France, but he would one day— if only for the food— and they certainly wouldn’t let him in after that.

Gojo-senpai doesn’t stick around to offer another; he’s got to go back to his class, to the children he’s teaching to sacrifice themselves before they even know who they might be. That’s what they’d wanted him to do when he’d first come back. Even had a promising crop of scouted talent, still wide-eyed from having the veil thrown back, the way he had been when he’d first enrolled, but—

But he’d just laughed. Told them to leave all that to Gojo, a man who tasted death and liked the flavor. They had his number; he’d come when they called.

So there’s no reason for him to be here. No reason for him to be idling next to this awning as rain pours down, pelting umbrella he’d bought from the konbini a street over. His old one; the shortest jaunt from his last apartment, closer still to the building where he used to work. One that still didn’t have casse-croute in the case.

But she would.

It’s busy now— the dinner rush, now that the salarymen have been turned out from their offices, ravenous and eager to avoid their empty apartments. Or worse yet, the filled ones— the kind with the children their parents wanted and the wife that begrudges their existence just as much as they begrudge hers.

A red beret blazes behind the counter, but even through the plate glass, it’s outshone by the smile beneath it. She’s been doing well, it seems— it had only even been her at the till before, but there’s two other employees working behind her now. They’re laughing as she tallies up an order, one of them wiping tears from his eyes.

It’s…nice. Good even. More camaraderie than he’d ever seen on the front lines of the stock market. More than he sees now, despite how close these missions fly to death. And that should be enough for him, to see proof of her success, but—

But that fly-head cocks its head, its unblinking stare settling on him through the glass. A larger one than the last. Makes sense; it’s had a whole year to siphon off its sustenance.

Nanami heaves a sigh, and with a nudge of his shoulders, opens the door.

The bell rings, the same bright chime he remembers, but the shop is so full, so lively, that no one bothers to look at the man stepping off to the side, letting another glut of customers through. He collapses his umbrella, careful to keep the extra water from dripping all over her floor. Even from here, he can hear that damn thing chittering on her shoulder, teeth clicking at every twitch of his fingers.

There’s nothing to be done about the thing from back here— he’s not Gojo-senpai, he can’t simply exorcise a spirit from annoyance alone— but he can’t bring himself to join the crowd. To hop in line and simply be yet another customer, not when she could look up and know—

But she wouldn’t. Couldn’t. He’d been a regular for only a few months more than a year ago. There’s no reason for her to remember his face, at least not enough to see past the new set of glasses on his face.

It’s better that way.

One of her employees passes behind her, leaning down to murmur in her ear, and her eyes jerk up, scanning the back of the shop. Not casual, no— that gaze is sharp, focused. Searching. It skims over him— once, twice— then catches, the tense lines collected at the corners of her eyes easing.

Oh.

She does remember him.

Her mouth opens, a hand lifting to a wave— only to flounder in empty air as the next customer shoulders his way to the counter, spitting out his order. She blinks, attention dragged back to the mundane, to the only reality she knows, and—

He should have never come. What difference did it make if he rid her of that curse? Oh, he can pretend it’s altruism, that all he cares about is gaining one small foothold in this war of attrition, but this isn’t about her. No, all this— it’s about him. About his pride. About proving to himself that these small victories meant something-- that even if he fell protecting this world from the horrors they’d never see, he’d leave a mark. That he'd have done something to make is better.

And now Nanami has his answer: he can push these boulders up this hill all he wants, but they’ll always fall back down. It’s only a matter of time.

He should leave.

The rain is still coming down outside, hard enough it bounces off the awning, splattering his already half-soaked blazer. A cluck catches between his teeth, trapped tight as he wrangles his umbrella open. An unremarkable black, one that will disappear into the sea of identical canopies; one more body in the surging tide, and—

And the bell rings. “Wait!”

He’s too close to feign ignorance, to pretend that he can’t hear her as easily as the heart pounding in his chest. That he can’t see her panting where she leans against the glass, rain dripping onto her chef whites. “This is for you!”

It’s the second time today that a paper bag has been foisted on him, but unlike the last, this one is crisp, a clean white with a neat fold at the top. And when he unfurls it, glancing into its pristine depths—

It’s his usual. The jambon-buerre. It’s a miracle his stomach doesn’t growl. “I didn’t…”

Order anything. He shouldn’t even be here.

“I know!” If he’d thought her smile was bright behind the counter, it is blinding this close. He squints into it, half-surprised it hasn’t burned the clouds away. “I keep one in stock, just in case you stop by. As a thank you!”

He blinks down at the bag. It’s been a year, he doesn’t say.

“Your neck,” he manages instead. “Does it still bother you?”

“Ah…!” Her eyes pulse wide. “Yes! How did you know?”

The fly-head chitters on her shoulder, and if it were possible for it to know what danger it was in, Nanami might have called that beady gaze a glare.

“Could you step closer?” His request isn’t breathless, but it is soft; softer than he’s ever spoken. She follows before he’s even finished, quick enough to leave his mouth strangely dry.

His movements are not practiced like he’d thought they’d be. Before he’d been relying on memory, on the feel of how cursed energy collected in his palms, but now he’s used to the way it sits there, to the way it tingles against his skin. He brings up his hand too fast, expecting the weight of the cleaver, but it doesn’t matter— the cut is same with an edge or without, his fingers honed just as sharp when it comes to little pissant curses like this one. It explodes over her shoulder, like a fly beneath a swatter.

When she breathes in, it’s with noticeably more ease, the tense line of her shoulders softened to a more natural curve. Funny how such a little thing could carry so much weight.

“Ohhh,” she sighs, eyes fluttering shut. Her hand raises, rubbing at where it sat, and he— he has to look away. “That’s so much better.”

“Thank you.” The words are foreign on his lips. “For the sandwich.”

For remembering. He turns, umbrella resting on his shoulder. It’s time.

“Wait!”

Fingers tangle in the sleeve of his blazer. Small, insignificant things, grip so weak a hard breath might break it. But it’s enough. This time, he turns back.

“How…?” Her face scrunches, head shaking. “No, wait. I asked last time, but I don’t think you heard me.”

She plucks her phone from an apron pocket, waving it with a smile. Not a shy one, but hopeful. “Can we exchange contacts?”

He stares. Not…forbidding. Simply…blindsided.

“No pressure,” she tells him brightly, despite the pink flush across her cheeks. “If you drop me a line the next time you’re around, I’ll make your sandwich fresh. No charge.”

That, if anything, tempts him. But still— he should go. It’s not good to make connections among the mundane. It only hurts them when they get caught up in his world.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He smiles to ease the sting. “Thank you, though.”

This time when he leaves, she doesn’t call after him.

*

Nanami waits to eat until he’s home, setting the bag on the counter, right beside his keys. There’s a part of him that’s reluctant to eat it, to take advantage of her kindness when the best he can do is walk away. But the famished part wins out, salivating at the very memory of its taste, of how the butter and brie meld into the most decadent expression of flavor, and—

And he might get a plate, at least. A luxury; he’d always eaten it on the run, trying to finish before he went back to the office, putting more hours in on the clock. Watching his life tick away through rows of a spreadsheet.

He sits down too— ah, what a dream this would have been back then, to sit and savor each bite. To not just cram as much into his mouth as he could before the elevator finish twenty-four flight climb, spitting him out into yet another soulless lobby. He unfurls the bag, extracting the sandwich with exquisite care. There’s a napkin wrapped around it; it flutters to the plate first, and he nearly leaves it there, but—

Sayo, it reads, followed by a string of numbers. Ten of them, to be exact, grouped two, four and four.

Ah. Heat flares where his collar rests at his neck. A phone number. That’s…persistent.

He stands up, skin tingling the same way it does in battle, but there's no curse energy to blame. Only the strange beat of his heart, and the even more foreign sensation of heat beneath his collar. He paces the kitchen, once, twice, trying to expend the tremble in his muscles, to still the half-formed thoughts racing in her head, and--

And with a delicate swipe of his hand, he guide the paper into the bin. Sayo, it still reads, and a number after it. Right there, on top of all his rubbish.

Nanami turns away, taking the plate with him. He’ll eat on the couch tonight.

[lovemanheim]

Please send requests in! I have no inspo currently!

Requests are open for the following people/characters

1. Wally Clark

2. Ben Plunkett

3. Nico Alexander

4. Zed Necrodopolis

5. Rafe Cameron

Things I will write

1. Fluff

2. Angst

Male X fem reader

Things I will not write

1. Smut

2. Anything dark

Fem X fem

Male X male

(I just can’t lol idk why)

Prompt list you can request from

1. “I love you, but please stop whatever it is you’re doing”

2. “STOP BEING SO CUTE, ITS NOT FAIR”

3. “You’re an idiot” “yeah but I’m your idiot”

4. “Make me”

5. “You make me so unbelievably happy”

6. “You didn’t call, you didn’t next, nothing”

7. “You know we’re meant to be”

8. “ you’re seriously like a man-child”

9. “It was a joke, baby. I swear”

10. “ mine”

11. “Are you even listening to me?”

12. “Is that my shirt?”

13. “ You’re kinda cute, you know… only kinda”

14. “Just marry me already”

15. “It’s too cold! Come back”

16. “Gimme a kiss, my love”

17. “Hold my hand” “what?” “ just hold it”

18. “Can we get a dog?” “We have a dog” “ I know. I want another”

19. “She did it!” “No he did!”

20. “Oh shut up and kiss me already”

21. “Wait a minute, are you jealous?”

22. I never thought I’d find a love like this”

23. Leave me alone, the only thing I’m embarrassed by is your lame attempt at being cute!”

24. “Baby, please let me in. Im sorry”

25. “Too bad, baby. You’re stuck with me”

26. “You’re honestly really freaking cute when you’re jealous”

27. “Can I Kiss you?”

28. “Wait, you’re leaving already?”

29. “Why am I always the one carrying you?”

30. “ okay, what are you doing in a Spider-Man onesie, in my bedroom?”

31. “You make me feel safe”

32. “PILLOW FIGHT”

33. “God, you’re beautiful. My pretty girl”

34. “No, you can’t get up! You’re my prisoner for the day!”

35. “I had a rough day and all I want right now is to cuddle with my girl”

36. “God you’re cute” “you think I’m cute?”

37. “ you’re legally obligated to keep holding me”

38. “Sweet girl. Am I your lock screen?” “You werent supposed to see that”

39. “Do you like it?”

40. “I’ve never seen you so nervous”

41. “In our defense, we were left unsupervised”

42. “I can’t help it, you’re fun to mess with”

43. “ Don’t shut me out, please”

44. “Stay away from me”

45. “I saw that, you totally just checked me out”

46. “I literally cannot say no to you. It’s impossible”

47. “Forgive me, please. I need you”

48. “Hey— look at me. You can talk to me”

49. “Did you just flinch away from me?”

50. “Do it. I dare you”

[shsl-heck]

Pale Live Read Part 2. Lost for Words

Sorry this took a couple days, I got busy and then sick.

This girl is named Verona. So that's V presumably. Lady with the hidden face is back and not talking for some reason, but Veeona doesn't seem too freaked out. Is she who gave Verona the instructions for the awakening ritual?

Lucy doesn't seem like she'll be a good practitioner. So far in the phone call she's saying things without thinking about the consequences and that's a bad idea in this universe. 

Avery is taking a long time talking to a teacher. Is this a teacher's pet surrogate parental figure deal? Or are we entering teacher's crush territory?

The girls are speculating about if the hidden face lady actually has a horrifying face. My guess is no. I feel like that idea doesn't fit. Like to my mind if an Other has a messed up face that it doesn't show people most of the time, then it's probably going to reveal that face for added dramatic flair right as it claims a victim, or something similar. The ideas tying that kind of Other mean it would probably work better narratively for it to have something like a mask it could rip off to reveal its true face imo, and that matters to the spirits. Like, it's a very well established trope with a lot of flair so I feel like this lady would have been pushed in that direction if the girls were right. It seems to me more like the woman has no face. There's the "faceless" woman in Jacob's Bell but she just lacks facial features, I think this lady's face just straight up doesn't exist, and so, because there's no way to convey that, the spirits contrive to keep her facial area hidden. This was hard to describe and I'm kinda sick so idk how much sense I made while doing it, but based on my knowledge from Pact it's my current thought on this topic that probably doesn't matter very much.

Wow! I hate Verona's dad so much it's unreal. Thank your daughter, asshole! She did the chores he asked, and then he tells her to do more while complaining the cleaning chemicals she used give him a headache.

Oh my fucking God the bra strap comment? This man is not seeing heaven. That Verona is not beating the shit out of him is proof of her restraint. Her leaving the spaghetti out as this petty little thing is amazing too. I'm also a petty person and so I appreciate this representation.

Nevermind, she's thinking badly of  stoners and petty criminals. Also very funny for her to think of other people as idiots without a future when she's about to awaken. Like maybe Pact has biased me but becoming a practitioner does not seem like the best idea if you want to live a long successful happy life.

Okay the most unbelievable part of this so far is that a kid would struggle to get alcohol in a town like this. Ime it is absolutely not hard to get your hands on stuff to drink when you go to a public school in a dead end town. 

Wildbow has introduced a rating app kids are using in the story? This feels like a technomancy thing or some Other fishing for victims. 

It's the teacher crush thing God dammit. Wildbow I swear to all that us holy this better not be a huge plot point.

There are bloody small children in the woods. Are they related to the Carmine Beast? It made the moon bloody and was bleeding everywhere.

Charles is a real one. Like yeah it's kind of fucked up to Awaken a group of middleschoolers! Also he's forsworn but still showed up to a meeting of Others??? That seems like a frankly suicidal idea. 

I'm a big fan of the murder mystery idea but these girls have no idea what they're getting into. Something like that just disappearing almost makes me think of a demon similar to Urr. I doubt that's what it actually is since I don't think Wildbow would jump back into diabolism so early in the story.

Matthew used to be a practitioner it looks like. So he's like Crone Mara or maybe Blake. He seems pretty nice and so I of course distrust him and am guessing he's closer to the Crone Mara end of the spectrum.

The fact that they all made each other's masks, hats, and capes is a cute touch. I do worry that their power might be very fragile though. Doing the ritual not just clothed but in very specific clothes they don't normally wear, plus splitting power between the three? That feels like a recipe for disaster if they're ever forced to practice when taken by surprise. Again, maybe Pact has made me unnecessarily cynical but I don't believe for a second they'll be able to avoid a situation where they are separated and put on the back foot.

Avery's explanation of her mask and why she's doing this is very emotional. Wildbow's managed to make each of the girls' problems resonate in a way lots of media fails to do in general, but especially with characters who are teenage girls. Between this scene, Verona's home life, and the one where Lucy thinks about seeing her mother crying until she noticed she was watching, he's treated their lives and problems with a sense of dignity I really appreciate.

The Hungry Choir is the most suspicious (other than Matthew). The use of the word "choir" is concerning given its connotations with demons and angels. It's something called a ritual incarnate which I don't know much about, but assume is some kind of minor Incarnate defined by very strict rules about how and when it can act. They also didn't seem to bring anything?

Matthew was listed as a host in the notebook chapter which kind of makes sense, but he just said here he trained as a Heartless, so my guess about him being like Mara looks to be correct. He's hosting the darkness from Edith/The Girl By Candlelight, but he also says it was too large and unwieldy for him which seems contradictory. If the goal was just to keep Edith stable would it not make more sense to take her as his Familiar? There's more going on here, and I feel like this relationship is not healthy.

Charles getting forsworn is objectively a very funny way to screw up. Like taking a stand against for profit prisons while drunk then a guy cuts his foot on shattered glass? Incredible.

John and the Choir are candidates for replacing the Carmine Beast apparently. That gives the already suspicious Choir a motive, and they're strong so them getting rid of the Carmine Beast seems possible. It's almost too obvious though.

Also I have to say that having heard the name so much before I started reading I assumed the Carmine Beast would be the main character's patron for a large chunk of the story and that it'd play an almost motherly nurturing role until dying part way through.

John has come dangerously close to harming the girls. I know they said it being on instinct means it might not have broken the deal, but that argument feels flimsy. If one of the girls pressed the issue I'm pretty sure they could've got him forsworn if he'd actually harmed them. 

Avery using connections the way she is (even if it messed up her eye) feels like she's being set up to be an enchantress. 

Miss says the Choir has no motive but that seems naive. It's a ritual incarnate which apparently means someone made with the hope that it would accrue more power than it cost to make. Could it be the weapon instead of the killer? The person who made it might have wanted the Carmine gone to either take the role themself or have the Choir do it.

Verona's dad continues to be awful. Her thoughts on boys are a fascinating insight into how she thinks about the world, and honestly it's kind of relatable. Her wanting to become Other is a little scary, I can think of one example of a protagonist doing that and it uh didn't go well for him. Granted Verona probably plans to have more control over the process, but that's easier said than done.

The girls experimenting with the gifts is delightful but is going to give me hives. Like stop wasting power like that! You're going to need it. Still, their friendship is great and I love the dynamic.

Rip Gabe I guess. I don't have a ton to say about the ritual other than "yeah, that's fucked up." It targeting people with eating disorders, or drug addictions is another layer of awfulness I didn't expect though. We need to get some practitioners on this to figure out the rules and patterns and drain it of power. 

I really enjoyed this first arc! As it went on I found myself making notes less frequently because I just got so sucked into the story that it slipped my mind. The Hungry Choir is horrid even by this universe's standards. My only complaint is that it maybe felt a bit much? Like less grounded somehow than even the war for lordship in Pact or other later arcs where practitioners were really going all out. Granted as an apparently quite powerful Incarnate in its place of power it makes sense it would be able to do this kind of stuff. Also I don't trust any of these Others except maybe the Mare and that's a big maybe. If there’s something I missed or you want more thoughts on just let me know.

[tutuandscoot]

I love your last post. They're so cute and I can't believe people say they're healing their relationship because they hate each other since mid 2018 and they're finally getting close now. People have the guts to look at the GIFs and say they don't love each other, that they relationship was not the same then (and not the same now), unbelievable. What they have is pure love, friendship, purely unique and beautiful.

Thanks 🥰 (which post are you referring to? The boops?) I know it really just makes me question peoples’ morals and overall intelligence. Its nonsense, it’s completely and utterly fabricated, there isn’t one piece of footage i see of TS from the last 5 years that makes me think they aren’t anything but the bestest of best friends that completely adore each other. These people are just creating BS for themselves because they are bored, miserable, idiots who hate to see people so successful, talented, and truly happy in life, so just ignore it.

[coldvampire]

hurt my own feelings with a katnines human(ish?) au

this is super loose and not at all fleshed out but just stay with me here--

instead of staying in new york, for whatever reason they keep going and eventually settle in LA. obviously not doing super great as european immigrants but yknow, they have each other, her dad gets a job probably near the docks because thats what he was more or less doing back home & things stabilize, his girls at least seem happier than they were? kat is fucking On It making sure her sisters are set and taken care of and also does what she can to bring some cash into the household, and she wouldn't say her own state of mind is necessarily happy, she just wants to make sure her family is okay.

something something time passes im doing this at like 2 in the morning its fine, & they eventually cross paths, probably while she's taking something to her dad that he forgot at home. they sort of? click right away? but he assumes that she's there for her own finncee/husband/whatever & he kind just lets it go, waves at her the next time she's in the area but doesn't get hopes up until he actually Sees her father and it's like. ah. okay. this also makes sense.

she's had a handful of short lived boyfriends but they've historically all been just a Bit better off than she has (she's still practical) & otherwise just not a good match. like she didn't even bother bringing them home, just vetted them after a few bad dates. this guy is different though. circumstantially neither of them are doing them best, but god. he also just treats her so unbelievably well. he looks forward to seeing her, remembers the stuff she says, doesn't act like she's an idiot & doesn't get uncomfortable if she lets her accent slip a bit. she's happy.

you know who else is happy?? her goddamned dad.

he knows she's been on dates before and also knows that they must have been assholes if she never even brought them home but THIS ONE she does and she is visibly nervous! she is never nervous in front of them Ever, that's like. the one time she's comfortable. and yet. she wants her family to like him! so fucking much dear god, she's never been this sure of anyone in her life ever & if push comes to shove she'll pursue the relationship if their response is a bad one but she also loves her family a lot & it's important that she get to keep them.

her sisters are a bit of a mix but no one is negative but most importantly her dad is like. Yes this is a Good Choice bc they might not be getting married with a ton of cash but he recognizes actual love & connection when he sees it and knows that kat has somehow managed to find someone who Will take care of her even though she's the type to insist on stretching herself thin. & so when marriage comes up he's like. mr rodriguez i will not grant you my approval because you don't Need it, i know damn well the type of woman my daughter is and if you weren't up to standard you wouldn't be here, but i will gladly welcome you into the family. it's a beautiful wedding if Small but most blood relations are present (outdoors! the sun is out the breeze is Perfect she wears a dress that her sister irida made & there is so much crying oh my god). it's so picturesque they get to be just gfghjj happy and uncomplicated. and alive.

she doesn't even have to stress abt impressing his mother either like she's fucking On It with her social perception & they end up chatting like they've known each other for yearsssssss within like 10 minutes of meeting gfhjh she is Slightly disappointed that her new daughter in law doesn't know more than like 8 words of spanish but that's a temporary affliction, kat would dedicate herself to learning it the moment she gets a whiff of said disappointment.

they get to have a little house somewhere,, she could actually pursue the shelved future of becoming a teacher,, god. the possibilities.

(now ofc this can take a turn where they end up tragically embraced and separated for years anyway but fdgfhgjhdhfjfg shhH theyre happy.)

[taeyungie]

i haven't been happy with how i look and thus taking less photos, tho i did take one few weeks ago with friends cus i had to for her bday, i hated when she posted it. now someone i like keeps asking for recent photos (i havent taken one besides that in months) my face is constantly breaking out and i feel so shitty but they keep pressing me as if they never seen my face or something. its making me feel worse and i told them i dont feel great about how my face has been acting up but they keep asking. idk what to do. they swear they think i take photos everyday or something. i def believe tae when he said he hasnt taking a selfie in months at one point. sometimes u just dont Feel/look good despite what other ppl think

i agree with you, absolutely! it's okay to not feel your best, to not look your best, it's okay to not like to take photos of yourself, especially during those times! sometimes i don't like how important taking pics is for some people, instead of trying to live in the moment, especially if they do have a chance to see you every other day. wouldn't it be more exciting to anticipate seeing someone the next day if we had no pictures of each other? 🥹 probably, but that's not my point. that person can't pressure you so much into doing things you don't want, if their repetitiveness is starting to make you uncomfortable please tell them that directly, and don't give in if you really don't want it, because the aftermath might leave you feeling even worse ☹️ it's better to prevent. i definitely understand how you feel and how Tae felt, no matter how outstandingly beautiful we might look, sometimes we just don't feel good, and it's not a bad thing. i was faced with the same issue as you, i know how bad it feels being forced to do something that makes you feel so vulnerable, in the end pictures are permanent and the moment they are shared they're no longer our property, it feels like we are being completely exposed, it's important to rethink twice what we share online. they have to respect your boundaries, it's just a photo and it is NOT a problem if you do not want to take one, period. please stay safe, don't let anyone force you into anything you don't want to do or feel even slightly uncomfortable about, EVER, no matter how much you care about them or their opinion. your well being is top priority. but also remember that sometimes insecurities might be really getting too much into your head, love. we are faced with idiotic amount of content each day that shows us what we are supposed to look like to be considered attractive or photogenic, which creates unbelievable stress to most of us, it's not normal. you are beautiful just the way you are with the "imperfections" you think you have, which by the way are not imperfections because perfect people don't exist, and having blemishes is something we all have or had at some point, it's a part of you, so please, embrace yourself, don't compare yourself because, as they say - flowers and sunsets are both beautiful and they look nothing alike. okay, love u, take care 💖

[orangechickenpillow]

I need to scream about this scene for a minute because oh my god is it something else okay so. This is the scene where Stede’s treasure map gets burnt and he’s really upset about it, and right after Lucius has told Ed to stop being such a dick and that the only reason Stede is doing this is because he likes Ed so much, which by itself is so... *distant screaming*

Anway, so upon hearing this Ed immediately and without hesitation goes over to a Very Sad Stede and begins to go into a whole beautifully kind charade about how they can still find the treasure and whatnot. And the look on Lucius' face. 

This man can barely contain a grin at the fact that Ed ‘Blackbeard’ Teach actually listened to him (and didn’t stab him in the face) and is now entertaining his Captain’s silly little treasure hunt. Also, this is the face of a man who is very smug because he knows for a fact that his two friends are a living breathing idiots-to-lovers trope. 

He literally cannot help this adorable little grin that he has, and I absolutely love it. But then he remembers the whole ‘stabbing in the face’ thing and is like “nope, no sir, I wasn’t smiling absolutely not no way, this is a very serious matter and I was not at all smiling” like--

He literally :[

Okay but then in the next shot we have a Very Happy Stede (god I love this fucking man), who has had his Hope Restored and is ready to go treasure hunting. And I just love this moment because the way that Lucius and Ed are looking at him is so unbelievably tender. 

Like they genuinely love this guy, and they love to see that he’s happy -- even if its over something that they both think is ridiculous. 

I mean come the fuck on:

There is just so much love and joy in this one frame that it genuinely makes me teary eyed. Stede is so happy (god bless him), and Ed is happy that the person he loves is happy -- and that he was able to make him happy. 

And Lucius is just giddy by how fucking adorable these two idiots are, and I love that. Genuinely, I feel like the Ed/Stede/Lucius relationship is so amazing, and I think that Lucius is a really important friend to both of them. The way that he genuinely cares for people makes my heart explode, and I cannot get enough of him. 

And to top it off, he goes and pulls this face

Which is like. Same. He’s literally reacting how all of us were -- like this is the most adorable but stupid courting ritual I have ever seen in my life and these two dorks are so stupid with their pining but it’s just so lovely. 

And also, can we just take a moment to appreciate Ed’s expression. Just. Wow. He is just absolutely head-over-leather-boots for Stede. This man has got it bad. BAD. He is so in love and he doesn’t even know it. 

But, uh... Lucius does. 

And he thinks its great. You know what’s also great? The way you can literally see the exact moment that Ed’s heart eyes turn into “if you say one more word I will stab you” eyes. Amazing. 

I just really love this scene, the acting is done so well and there are so many expressions to unpack. In conclusion, I adore Lucius with my whole heart, Stede is a blessing to this world, and Ed has got it bad for the funky little gentleman pirate. 

[animeomegas]

Would you ever expand the Kakashi overstimulation k*nk 👀. He has so many trust issues and to be trusted with the level of vulnerability that comes after a session that intense is its own turn on honestly. I also love that he's the kind who would be aware of both subdrop (even though it might embarrass him a bit) and top drop. Cuddling is an absolute must and I love the idea of him getting more and more used to getting closeness when a sensitive partner notices that unmet need and him reciprocating with being attentive.

Your blog is really fun. Thank you for running it!

(Ahh, thank you so much! I have so much fun running this blog! Also, you seem to have my characterisation of Kakashi memorised hehe, I’m impressed. Also, your ideas are 👌🏻👌🏻. Let me throw my thoughts in!)

Trust from Kakashi is something that is almost impossible to gain, but also so unbelievably precious. Kakashi is someone who loves with his entire being, but he’s been hurt so many times that he shuts down to protect himself, so if you manage to squirm behind those barriers, Kakashi is one of the most loyal people you could ever hope to meet.

So, yes, anon, you are absolutely right to say that Kakashi has trust issues haha.

Which makes having him pliant and relaxed in your care that much more special. You can guarantee that you are the only one he will let see him like that, treat him like that, love him like that.

He’s been so overstimulated that he can’t think, and he certainly can’t move. He’s floating somewhere fuzzy and that should be terrifying, but he can feel your hand on his chest. It’s rubbing slow and steady circles on chest, and it feels wonderful. He feels safe. He feels free from everything. He has no responsibilities, no fear, no anything. Just floating with you to keep him tethered.

And then the hand leaves his chest.

Panic immediately starts to creep into the bliss. Why are you gone? Where are you? Are you leaving him?

But as soon as those thoughts form, the hand settles on his forehead instead and instantly the stress drains out of him. He can feel your warmth along one side of him now, you must have moved the hand to reposition yourself. Of course you didn’t leave him, how silly, you would never leave him, he knows that.

“You’re doing so well, Kakashi,” he can hear you whisper. He’s doing well? It doesn’t feel like he’s doing much but if you say so then it must be true. He’s doing something right for once. That feels good. “You can stay there for as long as you want, you come back to me whenever you’re ready.”

Kakashi can choose when to come back? Why would he ever choose that? This is bliss. He’s safe and happy and nothing can get him, not even his own thoughts. Why would he ever want to leave here?

His limbs feel so heavy and his eyes do too. He feels like he’s frozen and distantly he acknowledges that that should make him feel scared, but he knows you’re here with him, so it’s not scary, not scary at all.

“You don’t have to come back tonight if you don’t want to, baby,” there’s your voice again. It’s a good voice. Kakashi wishes you would keep talking to him forever. “You can sleep now and come back to me tomorrow.”

Sleep? He could sleep? That… sounded nice. He’s tired and you’re here to protect him. Hmm, you’re rubbing his chest again now, and it feels nice. If you want him to sleep, then he’ll sleep. You always know how to take care of him, he trusts you.

And with that, he lets go of any remaining consciousness and drifts pleasantly into a blissfully nightmare-free sleep.

…

As far as cuddling, I think you’re also right.

Kakashi is incredibly touch starved, and he doesn’t even realise it.

At first, he really thinks his partner must just love physical contact. They always touch his waist when they move behind him, they hold his hand in the market to avoid getting lost, they rub their thumb on his thigh whenever they sit together.

And Kakashi is happy to let them do whatever. He still can’t believe that someone like them chose him, and he wants them to be as content as possible.

And then one day, when Kakashi has just walked in through the door after an incredibly long mission, his partner just immediately pulls him into a firm embrace, and suddenly everything clicks in Kakashi’s brain.

They haven’t been doing those things because they are overly physically affectionate… They’ve been doing it for him.

He feels like an idiot.

And idiot who can’t help but return the embrace twice as hard.

He realises while sitting in that embrace how much he’s come to rely on these pieces of affection. Just enough to make his heart race but never too far across his boundaries, somehow, they always seem to know the balance (which is baffling because Kakashi feels like not even he understands that balance half the time.)

Nowadays, Kakashi can’t switch from his work to his home headspace without some affection from them. If they aren’t at home when he returns, he just pines and wanders around feeling empty until they get home to fix him.

And suddenly the feelings of love for them are so high that Kakashi feels like his heart might just burn through his chest. He wants to say thank you, but the words won’t come out no matter how much he wants to say them.

“It’s okay, Kakashi, you don’t have to say anything, just enjoy it.”

How did they know? Tears start to build in his waterline. They always know, even when Kakashi himself doesn’t know. He doesn’t feel like he’s done anything to deserve someone like them, but he’s never going to let them go now, not even for a second.

Because life has always been about survival for Kakashi, but this? This felt like living.

[salemwritesxx]

𝓯𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾.

𝕋 𝕒 𝕜 𝕒 𝕞 𝕚  𝕂 𝕖 𝕚 𝕘 𝕠  |  ℍ 𝕒 𝕨 𝕜 𝕤

     ⇴ male reader [22, chubby, 194cm]      ⇴ all characters are depicted as [18]+

↳ summary: [Your.name] is a chubby and tall man, someone who definitely didn’t fit Japan’s beauty standards. Safe to say, he wasn’t the most confident. However, during one group date, it finally all changes when he meets someone who is certainly very interested in him.

↣ rating: general audiences ↣ warnings: modern AU; self-deprecation; chubby, tall reader; reader’s “friends” being assholes to chubby reader; hawks and reader have a happy end tho; hawks is a simp for reader from the first minute on, ok?

part 2.

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

“Come with us, they said. It will be fun, they said.”, you mumbled to yourself as you stood there. Awkward. Alone. Ignored. Too afraid the tiny bar stools would collapse underneath your big ass, hence why you chose to rather stand than sit.

Why did you let yourself get dragged into this group date? You wanted to say no in the beginning, but with your friends pestering you, you kind of agreed in the end. Though now, you knew all too well why you didn’t want to come.

As a chubby and very tall man, you weren’t the type that people, or rather, gay men, drooled over. At least you hadn’t had anyone show interest in you like that. Maybe it was because you were rather shy and thus not as loud as many of your fellow male friends, or you were the “wrong chubby”. Whatever it was, you were not attractive. Society made sure to tell you that at least once a day and sometimes those nice and kind people, not, were even going out of their way to tell you what a nuisance your were with your tall, fat ass taking up space. And in Japan, where everything was not really built to accommodate people like you, it was sometimes very hard to fit into things.

While you were sighing to yourself for the nth time and making sure to put yourself down as much as you could, you certainly didn’t realize how someone was always glancing at you. Hawks was one of the four gay men you and your friends had met today for said group date. Ever since he saw you, he had the urge to talk to you and get to know you. You were so tall and handsome and t h i c k. You could probably swing him around and break him like a toothpick. Just thinking about it made him grin.

However, it almost seemed like you had a shield around you he just couldn’t break through. He could guess why. Not only once had he seen people bullying the ones that didn’t fit the norm. Too fat, too skinny, too small, too tall – there was no end. People always found reasons to put others down. With how you stood there all alone, trying to make yourself as small as possible, Kei understood you tried to hide and you were uncomfortable. Even though you literally had nothing to hide. God, he wished he had met you sooner.

“Oiii Ta-ka-mi-san!”, his thoughts were rudely interrupted.

“What are you staring at Takami-san?”, then one of your friends, who was obviously interested in him, looked in the direction as well.

“Ah. [Your.name], huh? He’s like a car accident, right? You don’t wanna look but you also can’t really look away.”, your ‘friend’ laughed and Kei could have not been more disgusted by that behavior.

“God I wish I could just punch you, you fucking idiot!”, Keigo thought, furious and having to gulp down the anger.

Thus, he just smiled a little before he silently stood up to walk over to you, ignoring the calling of your ‘friend’. Instead, he got all nervous all of a sudden. Normally, he was the one being confessed to, not the one confessing or even initiating a conversation. Takami was used to people fawning over him, he was a rather successful model after all, hence why it was so hard to find someone who wasn’t just interested in him sexually or because of his money. And it did not help one bit that he found you so unbelievably attractive as well, his nervousness was at its peak.

“Hey. You’re… [Your.name], right?”, he tried to sound very casual as he leaned against the bar beside you. AND MY GOD, he was so tiny compared to you. He loved it. The way he had to look up so much.

You were rather surprised to get attention, especially from someone like Hawks. Like, he was so out of your league it was ridiculous to even think he would even BREATH besides you – yet there he was. Talking to you-

Oh. You knew what he wanted.

“Okay, look, let’s just skip all that polite small talk, the little laughs so we don’t feel awkward before you drop the question. Just tell me, which number do you want? Or should I just give you all three?”, you immediately cut to the chase. It had never been any different, so why would it be today? Especially when someone so sexy and pretty talked to you? Obviously he wanted someone from your much more handsome and well-trained friends.

Hawks was, however, rather surprised that THIS was your initial reaction to him talking to you. Though he could have not known how hard it would truly be to get to know you or get your number.

“Uhm… To be honest, your number alone would be quite sufficient.”, Keigo played it smooth. A handsome smile on his lips covered up his own nervousness – was he about to get rejected?

For a few seconds you stared at him, completely flabbergasted. Then you turned around and looked around… and looked around… and looked around some more until he finally asked, “Everything okay? You looking for an escape route?”

Keigo chuckled at the end, though he was not as calm as he pretended to be.

“No, I just…”, you then turned to him again, your brows furrowed, “… You can stop now, you know? Like, are you trying to prank me or…? Cameras anywhere? Like haha we got the fat guy. Look at him getting all flustered finally getting attention. Hahaha funny.”

At the end, you almost sounded a little angry, before you grabbed your drink and walked away from the bar. Saying Hawks was confused was an understatement. He just watched you for a moment as you walked away and squeezed into a lonely corner. God… How many people must have put you down for you to think he was pranking you?

“This is going to be more difficult than I thought.”

Running his hand through his hair, Kei had to calm down for a moment and reevaluate. Did you reject him because you genuinely weren’t interest or because you were self-conscious? Probably the latter. So… should he try again? Fuck yeah. As if he was going to give up so easily. He just needed you to know he really wasn’t pranking you, the rest… was up to Future-Keigo.

Clearing his throat and taking his drink, he then walked over to your corner. Standing in front of you he was so  s m o l. It would probably feel great hugging you.

“Okay that was rough. Listen, I really don’t wanna prank you or anything. Just… get to know you… ya know?”, this time he genuinely smiled a little, hoping you wouldn’t just reject him again.

Raising one brow, you were still rather suspicious. AS IF someone like Keigo would want to get to know you. Something was not right, you could feel it in every fiber of your big, chubby body. Then again.. maybe the only thing that you felt was the insecurities that held you back from getting to know someone who might genuinely be interested in you.

So, you gave yourself a little push.

“Yeah… I guess… I’m not really used to…. You know, how about we just start over?”

Keigo thought he had finally cracked you, giving himself a mental high five for being persistent. Thus, with a small smile he nodded and reached out his hand.

“Sure, nice to meet you, I’m Takami Keigo.”

“I’m [Your.name], nice to meet you.”, you finally smiled a little as well. Oof, his heart just jumped. Why was he so smitten already? He literally just met you. Keigo definitely wanted to get to know you more.

“So, how about we go take a seat over there? I could do with another drink.”, he said while pointing in the direction of a free table.

For a moment, you hesitated, though after a few seconds, you nodded, “Yeah, sounds nice.”

-

Without realizing it, hours went by as you and Hawks sometimes were the loudest ones laughing. Your friends just glancing over every so often, obviously jealous you had gotten the most handsome men of all of them today. But for the first time, you didn’t care what other’s thought as you and Kei just had … a connection.

Hence why, when he glanced down to his watch and sighed, you felt a little sad.

“I wish this night wouldn’t end. But I have a model job tomorrow and I only was a backup for someone so I didn’t even intend to have so much fun today. Time sure flies with you, [Your.name].”, he gave you one of his best smiles that made your throat dry and your knees weak.

“I… really enjoyed myself, too. Thank you. And sorry for acting like that in the beginning.”, you smiled apologetically and a little flustered. He found it very endearing.

“That’s fine, don’t worry about it. Well…”, he then looked at his phone and stood up, “It’s 2 a.m. definitely missed the last train. I’m gonna make a quick call for a taxi.”

“Hm.”, you nodded and watched for a second as he went outside where it was a little quieter to call.

Looking between Hawks and your friends who were still partying with Keigo’s friend group, you wondered if you should bring him home. You were the driver, but… how often had your friends disappeared with someone without telling you? How often did you leave a party all by yourself? It was time to be a little selfish today.

So, you hastily stood up and walked outside the bar, watching as Keigo typed on his phone, ready to call.

“Uhm, Takami-san?”, you interrupted him.

“Hm?”, he was a little surprised.

“If you want.. I can drive you home. I brought my own car since I was planning on leaving earlier too and I only drank one cocktail right in the beginning and the rest was alcohol free stuff so… if you want?”, your voice became a little smaller by the end, not knowing if you were too eager. Was this okay?

“Really? That’s not a problem?”

“No! Not at all.”, you reassured him.

“That’s great! I only live like 20 minutes away if we take the car. Ahhh, you’re a life saver, [Your.name]! Thank you.”, Keigo beamed.

And so, you hopped into your car, the only place big enough for you, at least that’s what it felt like since you invested in a nice big one. Keigo was quite cute how he sat there in the big seat, being so small.

The drive to Hawks’ home was also filled with chatter and laughter, once again reassuring you both that you definitely had some sort of connection. And since he had been attracted to you before, it only gave him more reasons that he wanted to meet you again. Man… this could be the first time a group date turned out successfully – for the both of you!

When you parked in front of his apartment complex, Takami didn’t even want to go yet. Wishing that time would just stop, he sat there for a few seconds before turning to you.

“Thank you, [Your.name].”

“No problem, really!”

“You know, if it wasn’t that late I would have invited you to a coffee or another drink or something but alas…”

“It’s quite late…”, you almost said a little… saddened?

“Hm… It is… I’ll call you!” Hawks then said with a little bit of a grin, since you had exchanged phone numbers before.

“O-Okay.”, you didn’t know why you stuttered, it was just… really new.

“Oh, but you can call me too, yeah? Don’t be shy. Well, anyways.”, he jumped out of the car, turned one last time to grin at you, his golden eyes sparkling a little, making you even more flustered.

“Have a safe drive home and have a good night, [Your.name]!”

“Ah, you too, Takami-san!”

Then, you just watched as he walked up to his apartment complex. You didn’t know what suddenly got into you when you opened the door and jumped out, calling for him.

“Takami-san?!”, it was literally two in the morning, his poor neighbors.

Though Hawks immediately turned his head.

“I… really, really enjoyed myself today. Just… thank you.”

Oh my God, you were so cute. Such a gentle giant teddy bear, that’s what you were. Without thinking about it, Keigo rushed back, catching you a little off guard when he walked around the car.

“You know, I might be a little drunk, but fucking God – I want to kiss you SO. BAD. right now.”, Kei said without hold back. His golden eyes gleaming in the dark and his cheeks flushed, you didn’t know if it was because of the alcohol or if he was blushing.

You, on the other hand, were very flustered, yet you barely whispered, “Maybe you should…”

Which only made Hawks giggle and raise his arms. An almost… seductive grin on his lips.

“Then you should help me out a little here, Handsome!”

Was he a bit drunk? Possibly. Was he overly flirtatious because he truly liked your personality and found you attractive and DEFINITELY wanted to meet you again?... Probably. But someone as straight-forward as Hawks was exactly who you needed because of your tendencies to overthink everything. Especially when it came to your weight and thus attractiveness. (Even though the one didn’t have anything to do with the other though not when it came to society.)  

And so, you accommodated him by leaning down. Takami himself standing on his tiptoes, thus, after he had hoped all night long, his lips finally met yours. His small arms wrapped around your big, broad shoulders and your big hand was placed on his lower back. That’s what he had wanted. And it really happened. To say Keigo was quite euphoric was an understatement. He was ecstatic, overjoyed, jubilant and so much more – and that from a little kiss. He surely fell quick and hard. Something he had never experienced before.

After a few moments of pure delight, you were the first to pull back, just to watch Kei bite his lip in such a sexy way it took all of your control to not grab him and pin him onto your car’s hood.

“Thank you.”, he just whispered, still with that grin on his lips, “I really enjoyed myself, too.”

Then, he let go and you did as well, this time really just watching when he turned around and walked into the apartment complex with one last wave. So you got back into your car as well, the last minutes replaying in your head over and over again.

With your hand covering your face, you had to hide your stupid, big grin. If all of that was just a dream, you didn’t want to wake up. Someone found YOU attractive. You had deemed yourself the most unattractive, undatable guy and that only because society had always told you that. But he didn’t care. He liked your “undatable, unattractive” body just the way it was. And not only that, after a rough start, you got along so well. You loved his little laughs, his beautiful eyes and those soft lips-

“God I have never felt like that before, what the fuuuck??”, you mumbled to yourself, still in disbelief that night even happened.

But as you drove away, you heard a little noise that came from your phone and as you looked up, you quickly scanned the text before looking back onto the streets – a wide smirk spreading across your face.

The message read.

“txet me wehn yruoe home so i konw yuore hmoe safe!”

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

@salemwritesxx || do not repost, edit, modify or translate my works

⇻ salem.talks: let’s appreciate all shapes and sizes. being a short and rather stumpy man myself, ive been struggling a little with how i view myself ever since my relationship ended. ive been casually looking on apps but i think I am not ready for another relationship yet since my last one was rather messy. anyways. I know you shouldn’t rely on others to feel validated and loved but loving yourself is hard, bro so… yeah, its nice being desired for once, no? also this kinda makes me wanna write a part two but eh we’ll see!

part 2.

[donaweasley]

Their Little Secret

Pairing: Loki x Fem!Reader

Plot: This can be read as a sequel to What If or even as a solo.

The reader and Loki have been best friends for long, but eventually realised that it was more than just friendship. As they secretly step into a new world, the entire team, unbeknownst to it all, makes it their mission to make the love birds realise and confess what they feel for each other.

Warnings: Fluff, slight angst in relationship, a happy ending! Oh! And late-night hazards and a long read. Sorry!

Read time: ~26 mins

“(Y/N), could you please take a look at this once?”

Loki waltzed in through (Y/N)’s door with a file in his hand. She was reading a book, when he knocked.

“It’s pretty late. I thought you said you’d go straight to bed. What are you doing with this poor old piece of rat-food now?”

“I did. But then I couldn’t sleep. So...I thought of doing something boring enough to lull me to sleep. But this old file actually turned out to be quite interesting,” he explained animatedly. “I just couldn’t understand one part. So, here I am!”

She eyed him suspiciously as he spread his arms to accentuate his royal presence.

“That, or you wanted to see me, and this file is a flimsy excuse,” she drawled.

“Come on, darling! I’m fond of you but not to the extent that I’ll have to make lame excuses to see you. Besides, why would I need to lie to you?”

After taking a moment to consider his words, she stepped beside him and asked him to show the file.

“It is here - this part,” he pointed at a chunk of printed information.

“This one is…” She pondered aloud. “That doesn’t make sense! Loki, w-where did you get this from? That doesn’t look like any mission report or anything. It looks like...an excerpt...from...a book?”

Before she could register, a kiss landed on her cheek. It was immediately followed by Loki excitedly wishing her, “Goodnight, darling,” and vanishing into a green glow.

She stood stunned for a while. Gradually, the tingling sensation where Loki’s lips had caressed her skin began to spread like wildfire through her face, and soon she was blushing and smiling like an idiot.

“Idiot!” She cursed him as she flopped back on the bed.

After a few seconds of fiddling with the bookmark, and staring at blurred lines on the page, she closed the book, and decided to call it a night. After what Loki just did, nothing else could compare to a happier ending to the day.

As she closed her eyes, sunny memories started flooding her mind.

It had all started hardly two months ago, when they were having their usual midnight snacks, casually talking the day’s stress away, talking nonsense - just the usual best buddy night.

But then something happened: a childish game of “what-ifs”.

It was fun, for the most part, until Loki had asked her about her intentions if she met the love of her life the next day. Already stained with painful memories of past relationships and with the hopelessness about her love life, she tried her best to evade the question. But Loki, being Loki, kept proding her until she gave him a genuine reason for her frustration.

And everything changed after that. Because in trying to save the other from falling down the emotional cliff, they had saved each other. They had found each other.

She laughed softly as she remembered the hesitancy in both their hearts as they had crossed the threshold of friendship.

That was the first time that she had kissed him. On the cheek. And that was even before she had fully realised that her feelings for him were no longer platonic.

That was the first time Loki had put an arm around her and pulled her close to him.

Another giggle escaped her as she remembered the moment when the soft morning light, and a stiff back had awakened her from her sleep.

Both were still sitting in almost the same position as they had been when they were chatting.

She had found herself cocooned in the arms of Loki, her legs tangled with his, both of them safe under the thin blanket that Loki had picked while preparing for their night. Her head rested on his chest, while his rested on the top of her head.

The last thing that she remembered from the previous night was them promising each other that no matter how things turned out, they’d always be beside one another. And then Loki had pulled her closer, and gently laid her head on his throbbing chest.

It was now peacefully moving up and down with his sleepy breaths. Before opening her eyes to reality, she stole a few moments to let this feeling sink in.

When she had closed her eyes the night before, there was an excitement so high in the air that Thor’s thunder would have been ashamed. It was the hammering of Loki’s heart that had eventually put her to sleep.

The morning brought a peaceful rhythm beneath her ears. It was beautiful, it was calm, it was...reassuring. She loved it more than the thrill of the past few hours.

But no matter how long she tried to soak herself in the feeling, the incidents of the night before still seemed somewhat unbelievable. How could something months long change overnight? Was it all a mirage then, cast by the treacherous night?

The darkness of the night sets the mind free to imagine anything, take any decision. But the clarity of the day brings logic to the forefront, which sometimes turns out to be good but sometimes not so good.

But...it had felt right. She took a deep breath to clear her mind. It still felt right. That was all the assurance that she needed for the moment.

As she turned in her bed, she remembered the raspy voice in which Loki had wished her a good morning.

The close proximity, the husky, sleep-laden voice, the sudden change in the air - everything made blood rush to her cheeks and ears. Loki had sleepily chuckled at her flushed state, though he was only slightly better than her in hiding his own flustered state.

Ever since, not a single day had passed when the two of them hadn’t thanked the stars.

She used to think that she loved Loki’s friendship more than anything. She was happy to be proven wrong when she experienced Loki’s courtship.

A different flower everyday, sometimes inside her room, laid carefully near her door, sometimes on her bedside table, and on some mornings, beside her pillow.

She was used to going out with her best friend Loki, but going out with her boyfriend Loki was an experience on a whole new level. Light brushes of the fingers, sometimes an arm around her shoulder, intertwining of fingers, occasional brushes of his lips on her temple, and not-very-occasional blushes that tinted both their skins.

Every day, before parting for the day, she was blessed with bear hugs from him - something that she had never expected him to be fond of.

It was the best time of her life! Almost every doubt that she had about this relationship not working out had evaporated long ago. It was - she dared to say - perfect!

Except for one small hiccup: they had to keep everything off the radar.

For one, they were still testing the waters. No matter how happy and confident they were with one another, their newfound relationship was still at its infancy, and they didn’t want to declare anything to the rest of the team right away.

Second, everybody in the compound had been teasing both (Y/N) and Loki about “getting a room” for a long time. They didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of knowing that they were finally correct. Well, figuratively.

Unfortunately, the team did not know that they had already confessed their feelings to each other. And so, they were desperate to make the love birds see the truth of their emotions. The Avengers, tough and stubborn as they were, never gave up. And Loki and (Y/N) simply decided to play along.

For instance, around a month and a half ago, Tony had thrown one of his usual parties at the compound, and had brought a line of apparent suitors for (Y/N) and a host of gorgeous ladies and lads to introduce to Loki.

Though the new couple was initially confused at the unbridled attention, they eventually understood what was going on: Tony Stark had decided to use the age-old recipe of jealousy to crack either one or both of them.

It was fun, they both admitted later, to dance to the tune, and give the host a frowning face when he realised that neither were biting the bait. Instead, both seemed to be enjoying themselves flirting or dancing with their respective “baits”.

What escaped the eagle eyes of the team were the furtive looks that both (Y/N) and Loki threw at each other from time to time. It wasn’t easy to masquerade those longing glances with playful teases that two friends might share. But they had to.

Late into the night, after the party was over, Loki teleported into (Y/N)’s room. The security cameras were still a threat to their little secret.

“Hello beautiful!” Loki purred when she didn’t turn all her attention towards him as she usually did, but kept herself apparently busy in making the bed.

“Is this my consolation prize for all your flirting this evening?” She tried to keep it casual but her displeasure seeped into her tone.

“Ooh, someone sounds jealous,” he drawled.

“Speak for yourself, God!”

Loki stepped towards her, and gently caught her hand, putting a pause to her actions.

“Look at me. Please?”

She smiled as she faced him, but he could easily catch the facade.

“I know what you're trying to do. You can’t fool me, (Y/N).”

“And what is it that I’m doing?” She tried to question with the same casualness but her voice kept betraying her.

“You are trying to make it look like it didn’t affect you - me being with all those lovely people. But in reality, you are hurt, even if it is a tiny bit.”

Her smile faltered. Of course, she couldn’t fool the God of Lies!

Closing her eyes, she shook her head, “I don’t know why you’re saying this Loki. I’m perfectly fine! Why would I-”

“You and I understand each other perfectly,” Loki gently cut her off. “Or did you forget that?”

He reminded her of the one line - of the one realisation - that had triggered the tiniest thoughts of them being possibly together, if at all.

Realizing that all doors were closed for her, she tried to turn away from him, only to be stopped by the trickster.

“If it makes you feel any good,” he resumed, “it did burn me a bit, too, to watch you dance and laugh with those clowns.”

At this, she burst into laughter. Loki was glad at the change of mood, and allowed a few happy creases around his eyes as well.

“Is that true,” she asked, “or are you simply trying to make me feel better?”

He shrugged, “What do you think?”

“I’d like to believe that it’s true,” she confessed shyly.

“It is.”

“Well then,” she said after suppressing a wild grin that tried to crack its way through, “I guess that makes us even.”

“Guess so.”

“I’m sorry, Loki,” she sighed, “I lied earlier because I didn’t want to put any kind of pressure on you or anything. I mean...jealousy? That’s the first stage of obsession. And...I don’t want you to think that...”

“Hey,” Loki held both her hands in his, “your feelings for me will never suffocate me. On the contrary, they help me breathe. You have given my life a new purpose. I thought I was happy being your best friend. But this...this is even better. Never think that you’re putting any kind of pressure on me. None of those men or women out there, or anywhere for that matter, can bring me what I feel with you, for you.”

Words seemed insufficient for what she wanted to say. So, she simply nodded, and wrapped her arms around his torso.

“Thank you,” she murmured into his chest.

He chuckled as he ran his hand on her head, “Being jealous actually makes you look cute.”

She unwrapped herself from him just enough to look at his face, “Says the man who just confessed being jealous himself!”

“I never said I don’t look cute,” he shrugged again.

Shaking her head and laughing, she pulled his face down, and placed a warm kiss on his cheek.

“Go now, before I punch that cute face of yours.”

“When you say ‘punch’,” Loki drawled, “do you mean…’kiss every inch of’...?”

Blushing furiously, she pushed him towards the door.

“Shut up, and just go!”

Loki laughed as he wished her a lovely night, and disappeared into his usual green glow.

---------------

But the Avengers were not the ones to give up.

Not many weeks later, Natasha planned an evening at one of her favourite nightclubs. While Steve, Vision and Bucky backed out of the plan, given their previous not-so-delightful interactions with the loudness and the crowd, Thor and Tony were adamant on dragging Loki with them.

“We thought you liked a little fun! Since when did you start wearing grandpa’s knickers?” Tony snorted.

“C’mon, brother, don’t embarrass me,” Thor’s voice boomed in Loki’s room. “(Y/N) has embarrassed me enough. She didn’t want to go either. Said she’d rather sleep than be tormented by the blasted noise.”

She said what? That means she’s going to stay back-

“Wait, what?” Tony turned towards Thor with a perplexed look, “She said that?”

He turned around to face Loki again, “Are you two planning something or have you both become boring?”

No, no, no! They’ll add up…

“I am not boring!” Loki declared. He decided to stay quiet on the other option that Stark had mentioned.

“Well, then join us,” Tony shrugged.

With a dramatic roll of his eyes, Loki agreed.

Needless to say, his eyes went wide when he saw (Y/N) dressed up and ready for the outing when he was expecting her in her pajamas. When she silently questioned him, he immediately realised that he had been tricked.

I have to be more careful.

The team’s plan soon became obvious when, after a few rounds of shots, everyone made a beeline to the dance floor, leaving behind a string of excuses, and Loki and (Y/N) at the bar. Even through the crowd, the duo’s trained eyes could catch glimpses of their teammates shadowing them.

“Do they really think getting drunk will make us confess?” She shouted over the sound of the music.

“I’m a God,” he shouted back. “Midgardian liquor doesn’t affect me anyway.”

“Well, it affects me,” she shrugged and drained another shot down her throat, “and I love it!”

Last one.

She had started feeling dizzy. Getting wasted could be saved for another moment when she wasn’t being spied on.

A few minutes passed in silence as neither was fond of shouting to communicate. (Y/N) bobbed her head to the music while Loki eyed the mass of bodies swaying and moving with the beats.

“Would you-” Loki began but stopped midway.

While her eyes questioned him, he silently slipped from the stool, and came to stand almost behind her.

His hot breath, dipped in a faint whiff of alcohol, hit the shell of her ear as he purred, “Would you like to dance with me?”

She was rendered immobile for a while. A small corner of her mind wondered if Loki knew what he was doing to her.

I bet he knows what he’s doing.

“I’d have loved to!” She drawled. “It’s a shame there isn’t room for a waltz here, and I wouldn’t want a God like you to hop like teeangers in the crowd.”

She felt his chest brush against her back.

“I was actually hoping that you’d be up for that dance,” he pointed at a section of the crowd where bodies were gliding against each other in the most provocative ways.

Her breath hitched again. She didn’t need to turn her head to know that Loki was smirking at his achievement.

But this time, she wouldn’t squeal, she wouldn’t push him away with a timid smile. Diffidence and boldness both tugged at polar ends of her heart until boldness won the war.

Not this time. Two can play the game, darling.

“So, what’s stopping you?” Her lips almost brushed his earlobe as she tilted her head to whisper in his ear.

Where did that come from?!

Loki wasn’t prepared for this.

It was usually him who threw mildly suggestive comments which she pushed away with a shy gesture. He never expected the tables to turn so quickly.

She did not even have enough shots to get drunk yet, he noticed.

“What happened, did the cat get your silver tongue?” She smirked.

“I-I...uh...”

While Loki continued to gape at her, an inkling of panic nudged her chest.

Did I take it too far? He obviously wasn’t ready for this, but…

It all must have been another prank for him, and I…

No!

With a cackle, she sliced the apparent tension in the air. “So, finally got you, ha? Mischief!” She winked.

Turning towards the bartender, she ordered another shot.

Loki’s brain was still trying to decipher her behaviour.

Did she really mean it…? It didn’t look like a joke though…

As she focused on her drink, he thought he saw a flicker of disappointment cross her face, but the incessant dance of light and shadows made her features almost unreadable.

“You should get back to your seat, y’know?” She told him with downcast eyes.

“What?”

“The team might notice and...they might know.”

Did her voice just...tremble?

Loki hated the place: the noise, the dim lights, the secrecy - he hated the way everything seemed to veil her from him.

“I think I’ll go find them.”

Downing another drink, she hopped off her seat, and disappeared in the crowd, leaving Loki to his thoughts.

Once they were back in the compound, Loki went straight to (Y/N)’s room. This time he did not sneak into her room using magic; he knocked on her door. This wasn’t the moment to play a game of cat and mouse. If the entire compound was prying on him, he would gladly allow them to. Well, maybe not gladly.

“Hey! Hi, Loki!”

Her smile was as bright as ever.

Was it all in my mind then?

“Are you alright?” He tried to sound calm but his anxiety turned out to be more stubborn than him.

“Yes, I am. What- Come inside first.”

She stepped aside, allowing him to stride into her room, and flump down on the bed.

“I’m sorry,” he began honestly, “I thought...I thought you were upset. At the club… I thought I saw you...sad? I’m not sure. I just had this feeling that you’re probably not okay, and-”

“Loki,” she held his shoulders and gently hushed him, “I’m fine.”

Her assurance enabled him to breathe normally again.

Caressing his face, she placed a light kiss on his forehead.

“Thank you, Loki! For everything. For caring so much about me.”

“(Y/N),” he held her hand, “are you hiding something? From me?”

He didn’t miss the way she gulped before replying.

“Why would you say that?”

“Look, I’m sorry if I cross the lines sometimes. I know I tease you but those are… I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you uncomfortable or have hurt you.”

“You are an idiot! Do you know that? You’ve never hurt me or made me uncomfortable. Now, get these stupid thoughts out of your little brain, and give me that devilishly charming smile of yours.”

Despite all her compliments, his eyes did not light up as they usually did.

“Are you sure?” He asked her.

“Absolutely!”

“You’ll tell me if you’re upset, won’t you? Promise me.”

He took note of how she licked her lips before nodding.

Something is not right.

“Come here,” he pulled her in his arms, and buried his face in the crook of her neck. “And I’m not an idiot. I am smart.”

---------------

The next few weeks turned out to be more and more challenging as the team was now hell-bent on getting them exposed. What made them so sure of their relationship was still a mystery to the couple.

“Are we that obvious?” (Y/N) asked Loki one day.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “It is said that it shows on the faces of those in love. So, I guess...”

The words, coming from him, filled her with warmth. If that be true, and if everyone could see that they were in love only by looking at them, then she’d happily trade their secrecy for more obviousness.

But every time they came close to taking the relationship to the next level, she would find Loki backing away. Every time they had the opportunity to reveal their beautiful secret to the team, he would quickly shield both of them.

Why, Loki? Do you not want us?

---------------

It was a rainy evening when Tony had gathered everyone in the living room. At first (Y/N) thought that it was an urgent meeting for a new mission. But when she knew the actual reason behind it, she couldn’t prevent the snort that escaped her.

“Excuse me?” Tony pointed at her. “You got some problem, princess?”

“Truth or dare? Like, how old are we? Twelve?”

Tony spread his arms as if to silently make a point. “Since when did you start categorizing fun into ages? Ever since you started dating Rock of Ages?”

“Hey!” Loki made a tiny protest at his nickname.

“We are not dating,” (Y/N) deadpanned.

“And there goes my question,” Wanda sighed from across the room.

In response, (Y/N) simply rolled her eyes, and grumbled, “Kids!”

Once the game started, the team wasted no time in getting to the point: (Y/N) and Loki.

The first one to get attacked was Loki.

“No, no truth for you,” Sam chimed in just as Loki sucked in a breath to choose “truth”.

“He’s the God of Lies!” Sam announced, “He can easily slip away with any lie!”

“The bird’s got a point!” Tony agreed, followed by everyone else. “‘Dare’ for you!”

“This is not how it works,” Loki protested.

“Did you play this on Asgard? Thor?”

“No, we had never even heard of it until we came here,” the big brother responded.

“But-”

“Nah-ah!” Tony didn’t let him finish. “This is exactly how it is played. Who wants to give the God of Mischief a mischievous dare?”

(Y/N) wanted to protest; she wanted to tell Tony that he was bending the rules to get to them. But any word of support would further corner them both. All she could do was play along.

“Kiss (Y/N). And you know where I mean.”

Nat’s voice yanked her out of her thoughts. She watched in horror as Loki’s expressions changed from shock to anger while the entire team cheered.

“Nat!” (Y/N) jumped up from her seat, “do you even hear yourself? He’s my best friend! We can’t just...”

“Why not?” Sam questioned with a smirk. “You seemed to be enjoying it when I was asked to kiss Buck. He’s my best buddy.”

“Speak for yourself,” Bucky mumbled.

“C’mon, it’s just a game! Don’t be a spoilsport.”

Steve?? Et tu?

Rubbing her eyes, (Y/N) tried to find a way out of it. She knew well that if Loki kissed her, she’d melt into it. Everything would become obvious.

No, no, no!! This can’t be. They can’t just expose us like this. Loki would be so....

Wait, why isn’t he saying anything?

She opened her eyes to see Loki standing. His expression was unfathomable.

Oh no! Is he going to…

“This is outrageous!” Loki snapped and turned on his heels to walk out of the room.

Oh!

For reasons she did not want to explore then, (Y/N)’s heart dropped several feet. She was expecting a similar reaction from him but wasn’t hoping for it.

Quickly gravitating back to the situation in hand, she stammered an excuse or two for his behaviour, and followed his tracks to check on him.

Once both of them were out of earshot, Tony leaned towards the group, “Did we save it or kill it.”

“Looks like we killed it,” Sam sighed.

“Trust me,” Wanda smiled, “we saved it.”

“Vision? What do you think?”

“I still do not understand why you have to torment them like this. Let them come out when they want to. It’s-”

“Okay!” Tony interrupted him. “Sorry I asked! My bad!”

The door to Loki’s room was half open when (Y/N) arrived. Gingerly, she admitted herself inside.

Loki was standing at the window, with his back towards her. His head was bowed but his hands were curled into fists on both sides of his body.

“Loki?”

The name came out so softly that she couldn’t be sure if he had heard it, given that he did not move at all.

But before she could call him again, he spoke.

“I did not want this to happen,” his voice bore that particular kind of seriousness that usually preceded an unwanted or unhappy revelation.

What?

“I am sorry, (Y/N).” He turned towards her, and she realised in an instant that he wasn’t fooling around.

“What are you talking about, Loki? What did you not want to happen?”

Her chest felt tighter with every passing second.

Please, not what I’m fearing.

“This,” his hand vaguely gestured towards the hallway. “Whatever happened just now. I knew they would come down to this one day. I never wanted-”

“It’s okay,” she interjected. “I did not like that either. Although they meant no harm. It was just for fun… And I understand if you're having second thoughts. This entire thing between us was just something… y’know, a spur of the moment kind of thing. I totally understand if-"

"(Y/N)! Where is this coming from? What are you even talking about?"

She couldn’t make herself look at him, for if she did, he could clearly see the moisture pooling in her eyes. She needed to appear strong.

“Loki, you’ve always been my best friend. And I’ve loved that. You know it. And it’s okay if this new turn in our relationship does not turn out to be something that you had hoped for. It happens. It’s okay-”

“It’s not okay for me,” Loki grasped her hands. “What are you saying? Why? A-are you not happy with me? Have I done something wrong? Did I offend you in any way?”

What is he saying? I thought…

As she looked up at him, a couple of drops ran down her cheeks and on her shirt.

“(Y/N), please tell me. You had promised to tell me anything and everything that upsets you. So, tell me what happened. Why do you speak of our relationship as if it was a mistake?”

“It never was a mistake for me,” she breathed, “I thought you felt...I thought you...”

“What?”

The shaky way in which the question came out of him stung her more than any thought of Loki not wanting this relationship. It was then that she realised how badly she had hurt him.

He never wanted to leave! He always wanted me? Us?

She didn’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry,” she finally managed. “I thought that you...didn’t want...this. Us. I-”

“Why would you even think so? Why would you bear such thoughts when I love you with every fiber of my being?”

Her head snapped up.

“You love me?” Her own voice became shaky.

“Of course, I do,” he gently placed a hand on her cheek, “always have. At first I thought it was a love for friends until that night, when I realised that I wanted to be more than just friends with you.”

More tears fell down her cheek as she rejoiced in the moment. Loki wiped them all, and placed soft kisses on each cheek.

“And all this time, I was afraid that you’re having second thoughts,” she confessed.

“And why is that?”

“Because...”

How do I say that it’s because you haven’t kissed me yet? And ran away from the one moment we had today, albeit in a not-so-comfortable situation?

“Because I haven’t kissed you yet?” Loki asked her.

Her heart beat so violently, she could have sworn that Loki could hear it. Her tongue felt too heavy to speak.

“I didn’t think you were ready,” he admitted. “That is the reason why I did not dance with you in the club either. I was teasing you, yes, but when you responded I was definitely taken aback. I wasn’t sure if it was you or the ambience talking. So…

You have always shied away from any comments that I make, and...I did not want to push anything on you.”

“Oh, Loki!”

She hugged him so hard that even the Asgardian had to take two steps back to balance himself.

“I’m so, so sorry,” she wept into his shirt. “I misunderstood your actions for… I pushed you away. I thought you weren’t ready for this relationship. I’m sorry!”

Tears of both apology and relief flooded her. He tried to sush her as he rocked her slowly from side to side.

After taking a moment to compose herself, she stood straight. Loki looked at her red-eyed, tear-stained face and tutted.

“Doesn’t suit you, darling. Show me your crazy, grinning face.”

With a chuckle, she gave him a funny face-splitting smile, making both of them laugh.

“(Y/N), I didn’t want to kiss you because of a game or under the watchful eyes of that insufferable bunch of imbeciles. But if you will allow me now, I-”

“Just stop being so polite for a change, and kiss me,” she tugged at the collars of his shirt.

Loki didn’t need to be asked twice.

---------------

In the hall, the Avengers were busy speculating the outcome of their little plan, when the couple in discussion walked in. Hand in hand.

“Yes, we had changed our relationship status around six months ago,” (Y/N) announced to a stunned audience.

“And yes, we kissed. Just now. And I hope you know where I mean,” Loki added before dragging his love away towards the elevator.

“What was that?” She whispered as she was being whisked away.

“What?” Loki asked innocently, although his eyes stated otherwise.

“You didn’t need to declare that we just kissed!” She laughed as the doors of the elevator closed.

He shrugged while jabbing at a button. “They wanted us to kiss anyway. So, I gave them the satisfaction of knowledge. Besides, they need to know who you belong to now.”

“Aha! Possessive?”

“No! I also made it clear who I belong to now.”

He smiled as the doors opened to the hallway that led to his room. And once again, his words had rendered her speechless.

Silver tongue!

***

-----------------------------------------------

You can read the backstory here.

And here's a song to sing along and keep the mood floating...