#they get called out for being racist or transphobic or sexist and they hold up their gay shield and insist you're

[killbaned]

i’d genuinely forgotten about that rancid little fuck of a man and peacefully thought he’d just fucked off into the ether never to harass anyone again but that’s clearly too much to expect from someone so uniquely White Cis Gay Man poisoned

[pastelstarmie]

considering going to one of your shows but i dont have any friends who are concert sort of people so like is it a safe enviroment to go to alone or ?

That's awesome, we'd love to see you there!! I am gonna be honest and say this is a little tricky to answer, but I would like to say our shows are generally safe for everyone, and although we can only control so much we do as much as we can to make our gigs safe and inclusive! As a band we are anti-bigotry in all its forms and promote that in our lives, actions and music, so I would hope no shitty people would even want to come to our shows and engage with our audience or ourselves! Hopefully we just attract lots of like minded really cool people so it is a really lovely and inclusive environment!! Like literally if you are a racist, nazi, zionist, terf, homophobe, transphobe, misogynist, sexist or bigoted in anyway at all like don't come to our shows stop listening to our music and fuck off! We have also never had any reports of anyone getting hurt or endangered at our shows, and we really hope it stays that way! We do not however manage security directly or anything venue related that is usually the venue itself, with the promoter being responsible for who comes in and out. We will call out anything shitty we see and will resolve and support anyone that feels unsafe or has had a negative experience, and work with the promoters and venues to make sure people who would harm others are not at our shows! There is moshing, jumping and lots of movement, and people do get pushed about knocked down and maybe a little bruised, but nothing serious, but this is often in an area of the crowd so you can find a safe space away from if you do not want to participate! If you fall during a pit you will most likely get picked up and checked on that you are ok! People or ourselves generally return lost stuff too, so if someone finds a shoe or phone we can hold it up and stage and make sure it is returned, and again people have been very good at this and is the normal behaviour in our scene! You are always welcome if you feel unsafe or are alone to let one of us horses know or our friends or crew, we will try to sort the issue and if wanted you can stay near them/us! We just want everyone to have a fun and safe time, enjoy some music and maybe make new friends at our shows! Also if you wanna contact us more directly either here, or Instagram, Facebook, TikTok wherever feels comfortable for you about which show you want to come to or anything like that we can do some more research and let you know more direct info too, and help you out however we can! I hope this was helpful in making a choice!!

[kierancampire]

Apparently having a genital preference makes you a terf now?

I saw someone say that, how it is transphobic to have a genital preference, and this person also said what it means to be gay, how others should experience being gay, that being gay isn't attraction to penises but to men, and as they are a ftm person, if you don't sleep with them it's because you're a terf.

So i said how much i have always supported the trans community, that a man doesn't need a penis to be a man, but I'm as bad as JK Rowling for having a genital preference? I also said the reason a lot of people are gay is because they aren't attracted to boobs and vaginas. So i asked them, if we're terfs for having a genital preference, regardless of our support for the trans community. Are they not problematic and toxic for telling others how they should be gay? Are they not wrong for saying how others should enjoy sex? Are they not wrong for saying you must have sex with them, whether you want it or not, or you're a terf? Are they homophobic for not respecting other gay peoples preferences? Are straight dudes homophobic for not wanting to sleep with cis men? Are straight women sexist for not wanting to sleep with cis women? But also, does it end there? Am i bigoted to people with foot fetishes for not liking feet or for not posting photos of my feet? Is someone bigoted for preferring short hair to long hair? Is someone fat phobic for making friends with larger people but just not being sexually attracted to them? Are you a racist, and as bad as people who harm/kill black people all because you don't want to sleep with every black person, even if it is due to something else about their appearance or lifestyle? I finished my comment by again stating my sympathies for them and how dysphoric it must feel, but if their views are you must sleep with them or you're a terf, that isn't okay, and how is it worse for me to respectfully tell a pre-op trans man that i am not compatible with them, than it is saying you must sleep with them or you're a terf. So I'd say 50% of my comment was support for them and trans people, i tried to make that clear.

Someone else responded saying they love how a trans person is airing their grievances, but I'm essentially calling them a rapist. So i asked them, you're going to ignore every bit of praise and support i gave not only to the trans community as a whole, but also this person, and you're also going to ignore every argument i made and every question i had, and instead say i am calling them a rapist and be upset with me for that? Even though i am just repeating what they said, that either you have to sleep with them or you're a terf. So i asked them, why are they upset with me for pointing out what they said, but not what the person themselves said? Why are they not upset that they've said you must sleep with them or you're a terf? Also, they see nothing wrong with this person telling people how you should be gay? What it means to be gay? How you should experience sexuality? What you should enjoy sexually? For not respecting other gay people? For being the closed minded on this? Why they ignored all my comment to focus on one thing? They said to someone else that they didn't make any arguments on why it is not transphobic to have genital preferences, i did and they're ignoring all of that, so does that mean i made arguments and points they can't argue against without admitting the views they and this other person hold are toxic and shitty?

Thing is, my comments are getting tons of downvotes, but theirs are getting upvotes, so i know it isn't only them who hold these views. But i don't see anything wrong in my views, i however see so many things wrong in their views. Also, this is where i want to give up. Because I'm a gay man who isn't attracted to boobs and vaginas in the slightest, and because i am only attracted to penises, note i didn't say i am not attracted to trans men on a whole, i just am physically not attracted to vaginas and boobs, and that is something i imagine many gay men feel the same way on, that's why many people are gay. I'm/we're terfs? So there is no point supporting trans people, the trans community, trans businesses, fighting for trans rights. I should just start dead naming, misgendering, and being violent towards trans people, because i have a genital preference i have no control over and was born like? And because i don't want to force myself into sexual situations i do not want to not be a terf? Apparently being gay and only liking penises in invalid now and is a harmful and bigoted thing in today's society? Again, the way i was born and have no control over, notice the hypocrisy, makes me a bad person?

[bbcstdb]

What's funny is that yesterday, I was brainstorming a parody movie to the planet of the apes. The movie was about reverse racism and sexism. Where pure straight white people were the slave race. Only the empathetic and non bigoted, intelligent, white people were a part of the majority and got to experiment on their own. The way it worked was the rapture was real, and only the most bigoted, racist, sexist, homophobic and transphobic were raised up in a beam of light by God. Who picked them specifically for their superior idiocy and lack of humanity. Once his whole speech about how they came from dirt and will learn what it feels like to treat others like dirt they were dropped on their heads, asses, and faces just in time to be arrested by a humanity police force for their crimes against nature. For generations, they had done the worst to their fellow man and woman, making them feel like they weren't welcome in their own home, so God was punishing them by doing the same. In the first generation, there were a few token colored people and even a gay man who was also bigoted. So their strange holocaust began with mostly white rich people and their colored or gay pick me's. The one running the experiments was a native American lesbian with peculiar sexual interests that one of the main racist men sees her in while trying to escape on his own. He had the choice of bringing others, but because his team was a pick-me black guy and gay guy, he chose to go on his own, knowing there was strength in numbers because God told him so. He was caught obviously. The experimentation varied from tickling them and forcing others to watch them be "tortured" to measure empathy or feelings, holding them with forced open eyelids, forcing them to watch boon docks and other media for minorities. Some were simple school exams of the suffering of minorities, their biggest worst nightmare, to which the toughest looking Jewish nazi screamed like a little girl. Questions about zionism were his breaking point. He gets a heart attack from the panic attack (ty bojack) and is left in a coma. Where in his Dreams he is in the hell of sharing the land he bought with lesbian Muslim women, who only speak Arabic and push him around in his wheel chair to nice parks for picnics and to drink tea. He is never heard from again after his visit to the prison medic. The rich people got good at saving up their bathroom passes for the experiment (they gamble them because they are allowed to give them away and collect them as an entire block of accumulated break time) which they got three 5 minute breaks day where the main nazi escapee uses everyone one to further his new escape plan. He's been caught a few times, and their punishment is forced to eat ethnic food and various strange ways to shove minority culture down their throats, literally. Music is used as torture as well, and everytime he eats anything or brushes his teeth the music plays in his head because of small chips they were injected. No one escapes. They all die and are allowed to procreate in the prison to have their racist kids taken from them for their own child group experiment. Working that genetic malformity of superiority complexes out of the white race. More and more joining the advanced peaceful majority with each generation their offspring always look exactly like them a little mixed depending which are the parents. The main characters' offspring are forced to meet the never dying native lesbian director each time with the same reaction. Always looking exactly like him. They are born they get their bottom smacked without crying. As soon as the director greets them, they start crying at being held by her. She always holds them kindly and gives them encouraging words about how they are the most resilient of God's mistake and how she hopes maybe this baby will be the last of its kind. She calls them "my little snowflake."

[aldakat31415]

So I've decided to start writing for the PJO and HOO characters.

I will be writing for the show as well, just none of the younger characters.

Requests are open.

Characters I will write for:

Book Percy Jackson (HOO only) or platonic

Book Grover Underwood (HOO only) or platonic

Book Annabeth Chase(HOO only) or platonic

Book and Show Luke Castilian (Au where he doesn't die for HOO?)

Book Clarise (HOO only) (is she alive in HOO?) or platonic

Book Nico Di Angelo (After events of HOO) or Platonic

Book Will Solace (After events of HOO) or platonic

Book and (eventual show?) Leo valdez

Book and (eventual show?) Jason Grace

Book and (eventual show?) Piper Mclean

Book and (eventual show?) Frank Zhang

Book and (eventual show?) Hazel Levesque

Lester popodopolous (aka Apollo)

Reyna

Octavian

Calypso

Bianca Di Angelo (After events of PJO) dead or alive au

Characters I will not write for:

Children. Unless platonic. So none of the cast of the show unless it's platonic. (Excluding luke)

Any child x adult unless platonic

Characters I don't know. If I dont know how to write them I'm not going to.

Things I will not write:

Smut

Limes

Lemons

Anything pornographic. My blog may not exactly be family friendly, but I don't write that stuff on here myself.

Incest

Non-con

ABO, even when its not nsfw still too close..

Children x adults. Either reader or character.

Anything racist, homophobic, transphobic, sexist, xenophobic, abelist, ect..

Anything I as the owner of the blog deem innerpropriate content for my blog. Thank you.

Things I will write:

Fluff

Angst

Friends to lovers

Enemies to lovers

Enemies to friends to lovers

Tsundere x reader

Poly x reader (sfw)

Tsundere reader x character

Anything specific is fine, just don't go too overboard.

Reader with power or specific godly parent.

Au's, but again, don't go too overboard. These are typically one-shots unless I get bored.

If you want a multiple part fic thats fine, just do realize it's going to take more time than usual. Please state how many parts your looking for, and try to make your request synopsis enough length to do multiple parts. I will just make a one part if theres not enough content.

Cussing is allowed

Mention of explicit topics without being explicit is allowed if I feel like it.

If you wanna bully your favorite character, like all us writers do, with terrible situations go right ahead, I won't judge. But nothing too crazy.

If you do request something that may be triggering I will put content warnings or not do it at all depending on the context. Thank you.

Your author is pleased to write for you and I hope to get alot of fics out for your enjoyment. All requests are free, but the fic is still mine, please don't plagiarize or steal even though I'm not sure there's much I can do about it. Be nice. This is a safe place for those of any marginalized community or from a non marginalized community, as long as you're not a dick.

If you are from a certain community and you find any of my works to be racist, sexist, xenophobic, ect.. please message me to see how we can work things out to make the fic better for everyone. Trolls will be deleted.

I don't have conversations in asks, if you wanna chat that needs to be in a public area of tumblr. Asks need to remain purely professional. This is for the safety of myself and you, thank you. Always remember internet safety.

Thank you for your time and requests can either be asks or comments down below. Remember that I'm far more likely to actually see an ask though, and it's up to your own personal call of what you feel is the better way.

All fics on this blog are gender neutral, I will not write a gendered one so that all readers can enjoy.

If I am overloaded on requests I will either reject your request or put in on hold. Requests are first come first serve. Thank you.

I may make another ask page for the other riordan series. It's just been a long time since I've read them and I'd like to refamiliarize myself with the books to write for the characters.

[beelspillowpet]

The Boys Reacting to MC Telling Someone Off!

You go, MC! You don’t take shit from anyone!!

The scenario is that some stranger is being racist/ homophobic/ sexist/ transphobic towards you, and you SNAP!

Note: In Belphie’s prompt you can still be Gender Neutral, but I had to imagine AMAB for it’s contents. Forgive me!

~

Lucifer

Lucifer was walking you home from RAD. You stayed a little late after the meeting to finish up a bit of homework. On the walk home, a car pulled and started driving at your walking pace, howling suggestive obscenities at you.

How rude. Didn’t these lowlifes know that it’s disrespectful to catcall? He grits his teeth angrily, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye. Poor you, you must be so uncomfortable.

Not. You stop in place, which causes them to slam on the breaks of their car. Before they can start asking for your number or to get in the car with you, you go off. You’re much more reserved with your voice, but your tone is frightening. Lucifer hearing you be so eloquent in describing what you’d do to them if they ever bothered you again was not something he expected he’d enjoy hearing. But here he is.

Pride? UP! It seems you got some backbone in you, threatening demons like that. He’s glad you are adjusting to life in the Devildom so well.

Mammon

You and Mammon were enjoying your time at the casino. He usually goes alone but this time you managed to convince him to come with you.

The dealer at your table has been giving you both shifty eyes for a while now. Mammon’s luck is just getting worse and worse. He doesn’t seem to entirely notice it yet, blind through his frustrations, but you pick it apart quickly. The dealer is intentionally giving you both bad hands.

You nudge Mammon at the start of another round. His eyes follow yours to the dealer and suddenly he’s watching them like a hawk. After that round was lost, he’s about to pop a gasket.

Seeing Mammon angry wasn’t anything new, but the expression on his face made his anger contagious. He slammed the cards down on the table and went off before a word left Mammon’s mouth. he watched you with such passion, calling the dealer out. Needless to say, he’s glad you tagged along with him that night.

Leviathan

You both were at an Anime Convention. You decided to cosplay as one of Leviathan’s favorite characters from an anime you both picked up recently.

You both were enjoying your time there, taking photos, and shaking hands with other cosplayers and fans. You even got a few gifts as a thank you for some of the photos.

It was when one of the “fans” came up and asked for a photo that the problem started. They put their arm around you, and leaned in uncomfortably close. Levi watched from where he sat as the two of you began to take the photo. He heard a racial slur uttered from the fan and nearly lunged at them to attack.

What stopped him however was you, shoving them away and shouting about how disrespectful and unfunny that was. Levi watched with glee, his Henry being so brave in the face of bullies! Afterwards, he asked if you were alright, and treated you to a nice lunch away from all the noise.

Satan

You and Satan were both enjoying your time at a cat café. He seemed particularly invested in a kitten that curled up at his foot and was now purring. A grouchy older woman seemed irritated that a man was so emotionally invested in a kitten.

Satan was used to these comments. He learned by now to ignore them, and didn’t seem bothered by it at all. He was much more occupied petting the sweet kitten, who he almost wanted to take home with him had Lucifer not banned him from keeping pets.

You on the other hand, were not having it. You turned in your seat to the older woman and asked what her problem was. This caught Satan off guard, who figured up until now you were ignoring her too. Apparently not.

Things escalated and the woman, feeling threatened, decided to leave on her own accord. Pride wasn’t his sin, but to say he wasn’t proud of you for standing up for him nonetheless was very much appreciated. At least he knew he could count on you.

Asmodeus

You and Asmo were at a huge party in town. There were some party-goers who were extremely drunk, and weren’t very fond of Asmo’s dress matching with yours. They commented specifically about how men shouldn’t be wearing dresses.

Asmo has dealt with people like this before, so he’s quick to ignore their comments. Arguing has only made these sorts of situations more stressful for him, and it’s not like he cares too much about what disgusting people think of him. He’s assured of his beauty by thousands, he doesn’t care what bad apples have to say!

You, on the other hand, do. And Asmo loves you for it. You immediately slam the breaks on whatever you were doing, turn to the two drunk party-goers, and yell at them that if they don’t like the way Asmo dresses, they should just leave. Asmo is loved by many humans, demons, and even angels, and no one loves people who treat others with no respect based on how they dress.

The argument goes on for just a bit longer before the drunkards are escorted out. Asmo has never been happier in his life. You didn’t need to, but you stood up for him. And even confirmed for him that yes- the world loves him for who he is and what he does. He’s sure to go all out (as if he was ever holding back) on the dresses, skirts, and bows now more than ever, thanks to you!

Beelzebub

You and Beelzebub were are Ristorante Six, enjoying a meal together. It had been a long day after Beel’s game and he was starving. More than usual. He casually ordered at least five of everything on the menu.

It’s not like you were just barely eating yourself. You had gone through a few plates as well, unashamed of how much food you were able to put away. it was nothing compared to Beel, but he liked that you weren’t afraid to go all out on food as well!

HOWEVER, one disgruntled couple a few tables down did not seem fond of that. You heard a few comments here and there about your “piggish” behavior. Beel seemed to notice and was quite irritated about what he was hearing. He even stopped eating at certain points to be sure he was hearing right.

He was about to throw something at them in a fit of rage before you stopped him. You spun around in your chair and shot the couple a menacing glare. When you spoke, you were firm and terrifying, telling them to mind their own business and move away if they can’t handle you enjoying yourself with your favorite demon. Beel never seemed so happy to hear you standing up so firmly for yourself.

Belphegor

You and Belphie were waiting at the bus stop. You both wanted to get home as soon as possible to get some well needed rest after a long day at RAD. Absentmindedly, you sat in Belphie’s lap and he wrapped his arms around you. You couldn’t help but notice the disgruntled person who was also waiting at the bus stop with you.

Belphie wasn’t having that shit. Instantly was ready to pop off the second he realized that person had a problem with you in his lap. He snarled, showing his clear frustrations.

You stopped him calmly, by patting the top of his head and shushing him. He gave a mild complaint, but you continued to silence him, telling him that it was alright. You’ll handle this. He wasn’t sure what you meant until you stood up, and grabbed the person,

You were telling them that if they’ve got a problem with you and Belphie, then at least be brave enough to be more vocal about how much of an idiot they are. Your relentless tirade went on until the bus arrived, and by then the person was afraid of getting on the bus with you. Belphie was glad he had you to call his.

[beware-of-you-98]

BAU as College Professors AU

*cracks knuckles*

Penelope

penelope is a graphic design professor

she loves teaching kids about the wonders of photoshop!!

hates illustrator and indesign with a burning passion

(the illustrator pen tool can fucking choke for all she cares)

(AND HOW THE FUCK DO YOU PUT THE FRONT AND COVER TOGETHER IN INDESIGN!?!?)

(she really hates both applications sm 😭)

is always reluctant to teach them but does it begrudgingly

(she’s just glad there’s other professors in the department that teach editorial and graphic illustration)

teaches photography!!

encourages the students to be as expressive as they want to be with their pictures!!!

she’ll be just as enthusiastic to see a close up of a sneaker as she is to see a sunset landscape shot

teaches the graphic design studio classes too!!

she always has music playing!!

half the time, her students come into the class and her glasses are all skewed, her hands are covered in paint or glue and some abstract art piece is sitting on her desk

when the students ask her what it is, she just gives the projects human names

“hey professor... what did you make there?” “oh, this?? her name is... pam.... yeah, pam”

she doesn’t offer up any further explination than that

and the students just accept it

her office light is always off

but she has multiple fairy lights in various colors hung up

her office is v inviting!!!

students come to her to vent or to talk about their problems bc the campus therapist doesn’t help all lmao

she always has on the most unique outfits but she pulls them off so well

a ray of sunshine tbh!!

Spencer

teaches major science and math courses

he teaches chemistry but only chem for majors in chemistry

it’s not that he can’t teach chem for non majors

but he sometimes gets too ahead of himself and forgets he’s teaching a course for non majors

it’s easier for him to teach for majors because the students can follow his ramblings better

he teaches upper level math courses and usually only has like three students in those classes

he’ll sit up on his desk and debate with the students for the entire hour about the riemann hypothesis

he gets excited because the students are just as enthusiastic as he is

he is two extremes

he either shows up to his classroom like a half hour early and writes out all his notes on the board so that when the students come in, he can go right into lecture

or he’ll show up two minutes before class starts with his hair disheveled, his tie undone and his expression glazed over and just be like “listen up i woke up late and just downed an entire pot of coffee i brewed with several cans of monster energy—i don’t exist on this dimension anymore”

on those days, he lets his students work on other projects for other classes because he knows it’s not fair to ask his students to focus if he’s not

he helps them with their homework

penelope brings him lunch sometimes to make sure he’s eating

he appreciates it a lot because between lesson plans and grading, he sometimes forgets to eat

he’s absolutely the youngest prof on campus

sometimes even his students are older than he is

but everyone addresses him correctly and respects him bc he’s really chill

his office is a disorganized mess

there’s files and papers all over his desk

and a sculpture penelope made for him (she named that one “roger”)

JJ

psychology professor

she really has a passion for teaching and learning about human psychology

(she may have started to become interested in psychology bc her sister was in the psch honors course before she died)

she comes across as a little hostile and unapproachable tbh

but she’s young

and she’s attractive

and she’s not conveniently what people think a professor looks like

she’ll respect her students if they respect her

she didn’t graduate the top of her class and work her ass off for the degree to not be respected

if there’s any inappropriate comments aimmed towards her or anyone in the class, she kicks the aggressor out immediately

she stands at the front of the room and lectures for the beginning part of the semester

once she’s built a good rapport with her students (and vise versa), she becomes more chill

she’ll sit on the edge of her desk and encourage discussion rather than following a book or a set plan

(she finds it’s more interesting that way anyway)

sometimes her students will show up ten minutes before class starts just to talk with her once they’re comfortable with her

she always answers her emails students send her (queen shit tbh 👑)

some kids in the psych major course playfully call her “mom” because she always asks them how they’re doing and about their week

(she hasn’t decided how she feels about it, but she also lets it slide)

always wears pants suits but cuffs the sleeves to the jackets

her office always smells like eucalyptus because she has a small mist diffuser plugged in

she also has a small fish tank with a beta fish inside (its the appropriate size too!!)

(she let a student name the fish—it’s name is sir bubbles of argon)

she also has a sculpture from penelope (“her name is maxine”)

her desk is very organized and clean!!

there’s a small couch in her office and her door is always open

sometimes, students will come in if they’re having a hard time and need someone to talk to

they know jj is there to listen and she always seems to understand (she doesn’t judge them either)

Emily

teaches three languages, both for majors and non majors

spanish, french and russian

(she’s also quite fluent in arabic and italian and can hold her own if she’s speaking in german or mandarin, but the students don’t need to know that)

she’s actually very intimidating lmao

students are so scared of her 😭

she’s serious af

(she smiles in class sometimes though!!)

(besides, she’s only serious inside the classroom)

(outside the classroom, she might even be as approachable as penelope)

always dressed in expensive black suits, polished heeled shoes with very dark makeup and a “don’t fuck with me” steely attitude to match

she also wears expensive watches

she always stands at the front of the class and slowly paces the entire hour

one time someone decided to fuck off in her spanish 101 class

she didn’t even yell at him, she glared

rumor has it the kid was never spotted on campus again after that

(BOY SHE SCARED HIM SO BAD HE DROPPED TF OUT)

despite that, her classes are some of the easiest to take

one because emily has a way of teaching that helps all students understand

and two because her voice is naturally very easy to listen to

students taking her french 101 are going to leave the class speaking fluent conversational french

she also doesn’t tolerate people being racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, etc in her class

if she catches a bigoted comment someone makes in her class, she kicks them immediately

she brings in her cat sometimes

he’s all black and his name is sergio

(he’s her esa that she brings in when she’s feeling really stressed out)

he’s clipped on a harness and sits on her shoulder or on her desk

if he meows, she accepts it as an answer

it’s the only time the students ever see professor emily prentiss as soft

well

other than the days she has the class watch foreign films because the students can tell emily has a fondness for them

her office is pretty organized like jj’s

instead of it being light and inviting, emily decorated her office on a more dark side

she has a few animal skulls, crystals and other gothic memorabilia on her desk or bookshelf

she has a small cat bed on the corner of her desk that sergio sleeps in

on the other corner is a sculpture penelope made her

(it kinda looks like a crow and emily named it kurt)

really, the only colors in her office are dark, deep purples and the small lesbian pride flag sticker on the back of her laptop

Derek

teaches history classes

but like modern history

from like 1940s to present

he refuses to follow most western history books bc they’re not accurate like at all

in his first year of teaching, the dean of his department made him use a book and he hated every second of it

how accurate could the information be if they portray king tut as a white guy???

he graduated under one of the best historians in the country

he also traveled a lot after he graduated and met a lot of people that had first hand experience with major historical events

that’s really what he bases his teachings off of—first hand experiences and encounters

every two weeks or so, he’ll invite in guest speakers to his classes to talk about what they went through (depending on his lesson plans)

that’s how he likes to teach and learn (bc he always loves to learn new things!!)

this is random, but also he is the type of professor to randomly box jump up onto a desk

he also sits in chairs backwards and has a more laid back style to teaching

his exams are based on what the students can learn from history rather than the information itself

he’s always dressed super casual!!

solid color, short sleeve button ups are a favorite!! (no tie)

he gets along with all the students

he’ll talk to the athletes about their games but sound just as enthusiastic and genuine talking with students who are majors in fine arts about their projects

he’s just a v down to earth professor tbh!!

he brings in clooney so much

like... every friday

it’s just another bonus of taking his history classes!!

he and penelope are dating

his office is full of sculptures she makes for him 🥺

he drops by her graphic design studio class with clooney to help out or even to just watch

he’s supportive and encouraging of penelope and her art!!

other than the sculptures penelope makes him, his office is a bit more disorganized than jj’s or emily’s, but cleaner than spencer’s

he has a few papers scattered on his desk but mostly he’s a little more put together

his office door has a small basketball hoop attached that he plays around with if he’s bored (and if penelope is busy)

both he and penelope have a dog bed in their office and water bowls for clooney when he comes in

Hotch

law professor

is the most intimidating professor on campus

like

seriously

if students think professor prentiss is intimidating, they haven’t met professor hotchner

he stands in the front of the room and goes over his lecture without pausing or asking questions

his voice is naturally low and intimidating and he actually never smiles

his attire and appearance is always so professional

suits

ties that are tied so tight, they look like they’re choking him

shoes so polished, he can see his reflection in them

hair always styled neatly

pants and jacket are always wrinkle free

his classes are difficult

not just because of the subject matter, but because he has a very organized, straight forward method to his teaching

students wouldn’t dare act up in his class—they’d be absolute idiots to

he’s quiet and reserved outside the classroom

if the others hear anyone talking shit about hotch behind his back, they’re always quick to come to his defense

they actually know hotch

they know he puts on a hardass exterior, but really he’s just a softie

he always lets them hang in his office with him

he listens to spencer’s ramblings and is extremely patient with him

he has lunch with emily every other day

even if she’s a pain in his ass 99% of the time, he likes that she sticks around and that he can trust her

he shows up to all of penelope’s art shows

and sometimes sits in on derek’s lectures when he has guest speakers

jj brings him pastries from the coffee shop on campus sometimes

he knows that he can come to her if he ever has anything he needs to talk about

(he never opens up to her but he really appreciates the sentiment nonetheless)

penelope has definitely made hotch a few sculptures

(he keeps them at home, but he does have one of her paintings hanging in his office)

speaking of his office it’s hands down the most organized out of all of them

his desk is so clean besides the picture of his son he proudly displays at the corner

he always has his lights off and his door shut

he seems so unapproachable, especially in class

but sometimes his lecture notes have crayon scribbles all over the page

or a small sock will fall out of his briefcase

and maybe, even for a moment, his serious demeanor falls when he spots them

and it almost reassures the students that he is human

Rossi

actually he’s the only one besides maybe reid i can see being a criminology professor

is a retired fbi agent

and successful author

so like that hasn’t changed from canon

but because he doesn’t work for the fbi anymore, he has absolutely no chill and tells all secrets

he’ll be like

talking to his class about a case he worked on in ‘83

and be halfway talking about details of cases that were supposed to be confidential

he’ll pause and go “oops” but keep talking lmaooo

penelope actually never made him a sculpture

instead she made him a coffee mug she made on the wheel and glazed herself!! (she even made her own glaze bc she’s extra like that)

carved on the side is “world’s best italian dad”

(this is because when emily introduced rossi to the group she was like “yeah he’s kinda like my dad” and now everyone calls him “dad”)

(he loves it so much though and proudly accepts his title)

he loves his mug so much and uses it every single day!!!

he’s the only professor besides penelope that let his students refer to him without the title of “professor”

he gives off kind old grandpa vibes

and that he’s only teaching because he really doesn’t have anything better to do during his retirement

but he’s chill and his class is interesting to take

(plus he really does love to teach)

he’ll ramble on and on about his “golden years” as an agent

he will especially talk a student’s ear off if they come up to him and tell him that they read one [or all] of his books

he writes a different quote on his board every single day

his attire is always business casual

he sits on the edge of the desk or on a swivel chair because it’s comfy

he was doing a lecture on jack the ripper and just pushed himself around on the swivel chair, slowly spinning around the front of the room

his voice kept changing in volume every few words because of him facing the wall and then a few moments later facing the classroom

his students refer to him as a “living breathing meme”

he has no idea what the fuck that means

but he take it as a compliment

his office is empty because he goes home after he’s done with classes lmao

he doesn’t do paperwork

or fuck with technology (he never fucking responds to emails smh)

so he has no need for an office

[samwisethewitch]

Coping with religious trauma

CONTENT WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS DISCUSSIONS OF MENTAL ILLNESS, TRAUMA RECOVERY, AND HOMOPHOBIA. The advice in this post is intended for an adult audience, not for those who are legal minors.

A lot of people find their way to paganism after having traumatic experiences with organized religion, especially in countries like the United States, where 65% of the population identifies as Christian. (This number is actually at an all-time low — historically, the percentage has been much higher.) Paganism, which is necessarily less dogmatic and hierarchical than the Abrahamic religions, offers a chance to experience religion without having to fit a certain mold. This can be extremely liberating for people who have felt hurt, abused, or ignored by mainstream religion.

To avoid making generalizations that might offend people, I’ll share my own story as an example.

My family joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, better known as the Mormons, when I was nine years old. The Mormons are an extremely conservative sect of evangelical Christianity that places a heavy emphasis on maintaining a strong community that upholds their religious values. The problem with that is that Mormon values are inherently racist, sexist, homophobic, and transphobic. As a teenager in the Mormon Church, I was told that as a woman, my only purpose in life was to marry a (Mormon) man and raise (Mormon) children. I was discouraged from pursuing a college education if it meant delaying marriage. I was not allowed to participate in the full extent of religious ritual because I was not a man. I was not allowed to express myself in ways that went against Mormon culture, and I kept my bisexuality secret for fear I would be ostracized. I didn’t have any sort of support system outside the Church, which inevitably made the mental health issues that come with being a queer woman in a conservative Christian setting much, much worse.

I left the Mormons when I was seventeen, and by that time I had some major issues stemming from my time in the Church. I had been extremely depressed and anxious for most of my teen years. I struggled with internalized misogyny and homophobia. I had very low self-esteem. I had anxiety around sex and sexuality that would take years of therapy and self-work to overcome. I wanted to form a connection with the divine, but I wasn’t sure if I was worthy of such a connection.

I was attracted to paganism, specifically Wicca, because it seemed like everything Mormonism wasn’t. Wicca teaches equality between men and women, with a heavy focus on the Goddess in worship. It places an emphasis on doing what is right for you, as long as it doesn’t harm anyone else. It encourages sexuality and healthy sexual expression. Learning about Wicca, and later other types of paganism, helped me develop the kind of healthy spirituality I’d never experienced as a Mormon. Although Wicca is no longer the backbone of my religious practice, it was a necessary and deeply healing step on my spiritual journey.

I’m not sharing my story to gain sympathy or to make anyone feel bad — I’m sharing it because my situation is not an uncommon one in pagan circles. The vast majority of pagans are converts, meaning they didn’t grow up pagan. Some had healthy upbringings in other faiths, or no faith at all, and simply found that paganism was a better fit for them. Others, like myself, had deeply traumatic experiences with organized religion and are attracted to paganism because of the freedom, autonomy, and empowerment it offers.

If you fall into this latter category, this post is for you. Untangling the threads of religious trauma can be an extremely difficult and overwhelming task. In this post, I lay out six steps to recovery based on my own experiences and those of other people, both pagan and non-pagan, who have lived through religious trauma.

While following these steps will help jumpstart your spiritual healing, it’s important to remember that healing is not a linear process — especially healing from emotional, mental, and spiritual trauma. You may have relapses, you may feel like you’re moving in circles, and you may still have bad days in five or ten years. That’s okay. That’s part of the healing process. Go easy on yourself, and let your journey unfold naturally.

Step One: Cut all ties with the group that caused your trauma

Or, at least, cut as many ties as reasonably possible.

Obviously, if you’re still participating in a religious organization that has caused you pain, the first step is to leave! But before you do, make sure you have an exit plan to help you disengage safely and gracefully.

To make your exit plan, start by asking yourself what the best, worst, and most likely case scenarios are, and be honest in your answers. Obviously, the best case scenario is that you leave, everyone accepts it, and all is well. The worst case scenario is that someone tries to prevent you from leaving — you may be harassed by missionaries or concerned churchgoers, for example. But what is the most likely case scenario? That depends on the religious community, their beliefs, and how involved you were in the first place. When making your exit plan, prepare for the most likely scenario, but have a backup plan in case the worst case scenario happens.

Once you’ve prepared yourself for the best, worst, and most likely outcomes, choose a friend, significant other, or family member who can help you make your exit. Ideally, this person is not a member of the group you are trying to leave. Their role is mainly to provide emotional support, although they may also need to be willing to run off any well-meaning missionaries who come calling. This person can also help you transition after you leave. For example, you might make a plan to get coffee with them every week during the time your old religious community holds worship services.

Finally, make your strategy for leaving. Choose a date and don’t put it off! If you have any responsibilities within the group, send in a letter of resignation. Figure out who you’ll need to have conversations with about your leaving — this will likely include any family members or close friends who are still part of the group. Schedule those conversations. Make sure to have them in public places, where people will be less likely to make a scene.

If you feel it is necessary, you may want to request that your name be removed from the group’s membership records so you don’t get emails, phone calls, or friendly visits from them in the future. You may not feel the need to do this, but if contact with the group triggers a mental health crisis, this extra step will help keep you safe.

Of course, it’s not always possible to completely cut ties with a group after leaving. You may have family members, a significant other, or close friends who are still members. If this is the case, you’ll need to establish some clear boundaries. Politely but firmly tell them that, although you’re glad their faith adds value to their lives, you are not willing to be involved in their religious activities. Let them know that this is what is best for your mental and emotional health and that you still value your relationship with them.

Try to make compromises that allow you to preserve the relationship without exposing you to a traumatic religious environment. For example, if your family is Christian and always spends all day on Christmas at church, offer to celebrate with them the day after, once their religious commitments are over.

Hopefully, your loved ones can respect these boundaries. If not, you may need to distance yourself or walk away altogether. If they are knowingly undermining your attempts to take care of yourself, they don’t deserve to be in your life.

During this time, you may find it helpful to read other people’s exit stories online or in books. One of my personal favorites is the book Girl at the End of the World by Elizabeth Esther. Hearing other people’s stories can help you remember that other people have been through similar situations and made it out on the other side. You will too.

Step Two: Seek professional help

I cannot overstate the importance of professional counseling when dealing with trauma of any kind, including religious trauma. Therapists and counselors have the benefit of professional training. They are able to be objective, since they’re approaching the situation from the outside. They can keep you from getting bogged down in your own thoughts and feelings.

I understand that not everyone has access to therapy. I am very lucky to have insurance that covers mental health counseling, but I know not everyone has that privilege. However, there are some options that make therapy more affordable.

There may be an organization in your area that offers free or low-cost therapy — if you live in the U.S., you can find information about these services by checking the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) HelpLine or visiting mentalhealth.gov. You can also look for therapists who use a sliding scale for payment, which means they determine an hourly rate based on the client’s income. And finally, if you have a little bit of extra cash you may want to look into therapy apps like BetterHelp or Talkspace, which are typically cheaper than in-person therapy.

If none of those options work for you, the next best option is to join a support group. Support groups allow you to connect with other people whose experiences are similar to yours and, unlike therapy, they allow you to get advice and feedback from multiple people. These groups are often free, although some charge a small fee.

Finding the right group for you is important. You’re unlikely to find a group for people recovering from religious trauma but, depending on the nature of your trauma, you may fit right in with a grief and loss group, an addiction recovery group, or a group for adult survivors of child abuse. If you’re a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you may be able to find a queer support group. (The LGBTQ+ club at my college was an invaluable resource in my recovery!) Depending on your area, you may also be able to find groups for specific mental and emotional issues like depression or anxiety.

Make sure to do your research before attending a meeting. Find out what, if anything, the group charges, who can join, and whether they use a curriculum or have unstructured sessions. See if you can find a statement about their values and philosophy. Make a note of where meetings are held and of who is running the group. Some support groups meet in churches and may or may not have a religious element to their curriculum. It’s best to avoid religious groups — the last thing you need right now is to be preached to.

Getting other people involved in your recovery will make you feel less alone and prevent you from getting stuck in your own head. A good therapist, counselor, or support group can help you realize what you need to work on and give you ideas for how to approach it.

Step Three: Deprogramming

“Deprogramming” refers to the practice of undoing brainwashing and reintroducing healthy thought patterns. This term is normally used in the context of cult survivors and their recovery, but deprogramming techniques can also be helpful for people recovering from a lifetime of toxic religious rhetoric.

To begin the process of deprogramming, familiarize yourself with the way organizations use thought control to shape the behavior of their members. I recommend starting with the work of Steven Hassan — his BITE model is a handy way to classify types of thought control.

The BITE model lays out four types of control. There’s Behavior Control, which controls what members do and how they spend their free time. (For example, requiring members to attend multiple hours-long meetings each week.) There’s Information Control, which restricts members’ access to information. (For example, denying certain aspects of the group’s history.) There’s Thought Control, which shapes the way members think. (For example, classifying certain thoughts as sinful or dirty.) And finally there’s Emotional Control, which manipulates members’ emotions. (For example, instilling fear of damnation or punishment.)

Here’s a simple exercise to get you started with your deprogramming. Divide a blank sheet of paper into four equal sections. Label one section “Behavior,” one “Information,” one “Thought,” and one “Emotions.” Now, in each section, make a list of the ways your old religious group controlled — and maybe still controls — that area of your life. Once you’ve completed your lists, choose a single item from one of your lists to work on undoing.

For example, let’s say that in your “Information” column, you’ve written that you were discouraged from reading certain books because they contained “evil” ideas. (For a lot of people, this was Harry Potter. For me, it was The Golden Compass.) Pick up one of those books, and read it or listen to it as an audiobook. Once you’ve read it, write down your thoughts. Did you enjoy it? Why or why not? Why do you think your group banned it? What was in this book that they didn’t want you to know about? Write it down.

Once you’ve worked on the first thing, choose something else. Keep going until you’ve undone all the items on your lists.

If you want to go further with deprogramming, I recommend the book Recovering Agency by Luna Lindsey. Although this book is specifically written for former Mormons, I genuinely believe it would be helpful to former members of other controlling religious groups as well. Lindsey does an excellent job of explaining how thought control works and of connecting it to real world examples, as well as deconstructing those ideas. Her book has been a huge help in my recovery process, and I highly recommend it.

Step Four: Replace toxic beliefs and practices with healthy ones

This goes hand-in-hand with step three, and if you’re already working on deprogramming then you’ll already have started replacing your unhealthy beliefs. This is the turning point in the recovery process. You’re no longer just undoing what others have done to you — now you get an opportunity to decide what you want to believe and do going forward. This is the time to let go of things like denial of your desires, fear of divine punishment, and holding yourself to unattainable standards. Get used to living in a way that makes you happy, without guilt.

Notice how each step builds on the previous steps. Therapy and deprogramming can help you identify what beliefs and behaviors need to be adjusted or replaced. Your therapist, support group, and/or emotional support person can help you make these changes and follow through on them.

These new beliefs and practices don’t have to be religious — in fact, it’s better if they aren’t. If you can live a healthy, happy, balanced life without religion, you’ll be in a better position to choose a religion that is the right fit for you, if that is something you want.

Your new healthy, non-religious practices may include: mindfulness meditation, nature walks, journaling, reading, exercise, energy work, learning a hobby or craft, or spending time with loves ones — or it might include none of these things, and that’s okay too. Now is the time to find what brings you joy and start doing it every day.

Step Five: Ritual healing

This is an optional step, but it’s one that has been deeply healing for me. You may find it helpful to design and perform a ritual to mark your recovery.

Note that when I say “ritual,” I don’t necessarily mean magic. Rituals serve a psychological purpose as well as a spiritual one. They can act as powerful symbolic events that mark a turning point in our lives or reinforce what we already know and believe. Even if you don’t believe in magic, even if you’re the least spiritual person you know, you can still benefit from ritual.

You might choose to perform a ritual to finalize your healing, or to symbolically throw off the chains of your old religion. It can be elaborate or simple, long or short, joyful or solemn. It might include lighting a candle and saying a few words. It might include ecstatic dance. It might include drawing or painting a representation of all the negative emotions associated with your old religion, then ritually destroying it. The possibilities are literally endless. (If you’re looking for ritual ideas, I recommend the book Light Magic for Dark Times by Lisa Marie Basile.)

One type of ritual that some people find very empowering is unbaptism. An unbaptism is exactly what it sounds like — the opposite of a baptism. The idea is that, if a baptism makes a Christian, an unbaptism makes someone un-Christian, no longer part of that lineage. It is a ritual rejection of Christianity. (Obviously, this only applies if you’re a former Christian, though some of the following suggestions could be adjusted to fit a rejection of other religions.)

If you’re interested in unbaptism, here are some ideas for how it could be done:

A classic method of unbaptism is to recite the Lord’s Prayer backwards under a full moon. (For a non-Christians version, use a significant prayer from whatever religion you have left.)

Run a bath. Add a tiny pinch of sulfur (a.k.a. brimstone) to the water. Get into the bath and say, “By water I was baptized, and by water my baptism is rejected.” Submerge your entire body under the water for several seconds. When you come back up, your unbaptism is complete. (You may want to shower after this one. Sulfur does not smell good.)

The Detroit Satanic Temple has a delightfully dramatic unbaptism ritual. For a DIY version, you will need holy water or some other relic from the faith you were baptized in, a fireproof dish, a black candle, and an apple or other sweet fruit. Light the candle and place it in your fireproof dish. Toss some holy water onto the flame (not enough to extinguish it) and say, “I cast my chains into the dust of hell.” Take a bite of the apple and say, “I savor the fruit of knowledge and disobedience.” Finally, declare proudly, “I am unbaptized.” You can add “in the name of Satan” at the end or leave it out, depending on your comfort level.

Personally, I’ve never felt the need to unbaptize myself. I’ve ritually rejected my Mormon upbringing in other ways. Maybe someday I’ll decide to go for the unbaptism, but I’ve never really felt like I needed it. Likewise, you’ll need to decide for yourself what ritual(s) will work for you.

Step Six: Honor your recovery

Our first reaction to trauma is to hide it away and never speak of it again. When we do this, we do ourselves a disservice. Your recovery is a part of your life story. You had the strength to walk away from a situation that was hurting you, and that deserves to be celebrated! Be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come!

You may choose to honor your recovery by celebrating an important date every year, like the day you decided to leave the group, the date of the last meeting you attended, or the date you were removed from the membership records. Keep this celebration fun and light — get drinks with friends, bake a cake for yourself, or just take a few moments to silently acknowledge your journey.

If you feel like having a party is a bit much, you can also honor your recovery by talking to other people about your experiences. Share your story with others. If you’re feeling shy, try sharing your story anonymously online. (Reddit has several forums specifically for anonymous stories.) You’ll be amazed by how validating it can be to tell people what you’ve been through. `

Another way to honor your recovery is to work for personal and religious freedom for all people. Protest laws with religious motivations. Donate to organizations that campaign for the separation of church and state. Educate people about how to recognize an unhealthy religious organization. Let your own story motivate you to help others who are in similar situations.

And most of all, take joy in your journey. Be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come, but know that your recovery is a lifelong journey. Be gentle and understanding with yourself. You are doing what is right for you, and no god or spirit worthy of worship could ever be upset by that.

[thisdancingheart]

Remember YFIP?

My Year of Grief and Cancellation

What was I trying to accomplish with my anonymous Tumblr?

By Liat Kaplan Feb. 25, 2021, 5:00 a.m. ET https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/25/style/your-fave-is-problematic-tumblr.html

If you were on Tumblr in the early 2010s, you may remember a blog called Your Fave Is Problematic. If not, its content should still sound familiar to you. The posts contained long lists of celebrities’ regrettable (racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, ethnophobic, ableist and so on) statements and actions — the stuff that gets people canceled these days.

That blog was my blog. I spent hours researching each post; as you can probably imagine, my search history was pretty ugly.

Your Fave Is Problematic had around 50,000 followers at its peak, in 2014, when I was a high school senior, but its influence was outsized. I got in a feud with a prominent young adult fiction author over his inclusion. One actor submitted himself, perhaps as a dare (or a plea) to dig up his worst. “Problematic fave” became a well-worn meme; even after I stopped posting, my blog was cited in books, articles, podcasts and think pieces. Through it all, my identity stayed private.

The blog started, as so many anonymous online projects do, as vengeful public shaming masquerading as social criticism. I was fine-tuning my moral compass and coming into my own as a feminist. So when I noticed classmates making sexist jokes on Facebook, including some about me, I started taking screenshots to post on a Tumblr called Calling Out Sexists. My policy was that I would take down a post only if its author publicly apologized.

A group of students brought the blog to the attention of our school’s administrators, who threatened to take legal action if I continued to write about them. Meanwhile, other Tumblr users had begun submitting screenshots featuring statements from minor celebrities. With graduation hanging in the balance, I shifted my focus away from my peers and toward public figures. I rebranded. Money and fame had protected them since time immemorial. What harm could my little blog do?

So I posted photos of Lady Gaga in V magazine with her skin bronzed to an unnatural brown. I pulled out troubling quotes from an essay Lena Dunham had written about a trip to Japan. I noted Taylor Swift’s since-changed homophobic lyric in “Picture to Burn.” My most popular posts tended to be about women — which makes sense, because the celebrity press tends to be more critical of them.

As it turned out, I had bigger things to worry about than dissecting the careers of celebrities I’d never met. On a winter morning, I woke up to the news that my older sister, Tamar, who was studying in Bolivia, had been in a bus crash, and the outlook was not good. I pored over research to escape from what felt like an impossible situation: my sister slowly dying of treatable injuries in a rural area thousands of miles away.

We held a public memorial service for Tamar in our hometown. Some of my classmates showed up, including a few who had written nasty things about me online. I found their shows of kindness insulting now, during what was quickly becoming the worst year of my life.

I tried going back to school after a few weeks, but I found myself picking frequent arguments with classmates and teachers. The school made an arrangement with my parents: I would be placed on “medical leave” for the remainder of the semester. I would graduate on time, but I wouldn’t return to campus.

Stuck at home, I devoted myself to Tumblr. What was I trying to accomplish? Mostly, I was interested in knocking people off their pedestals. I also enjoyed being popular, controversial, discussed. When a comedian I had posted about name-checked my blog on Twitter, I was giddy.

Then I started receiving threats. Someone sent me a screenshot of a house from Google Maps, claiming to have found my IP address. It wasn’t my house, but still. I realized that for every person on Tumblr who looked up to my blog, there were many more, online and offline, who hated it — and me. I started posting less and, eventually, stopped posting at all.

In the years since, I’ve looked back on my blog with shame and regret — about my pettiness, my motivating rage, my hard-and-fast assumptions that people were either good or bad. Who was I to lump together known misogynists with people who got tattoos in languages they didn’t speak? I just wanted to see someone face consequences; no one who’d hurt me ever had.

There’s something almost quaint about it all now: teenage me, teaching myself about social justice on Tumblr while also posturing as an authority on that very subject, thinking I was making a difference while engaging in a bit of schadenfreude. Meanwhile, other movements — local, global, unified in their purposes and rooted in progressive philosophies — were organizing for actual justice. Looking back, I was more of a cop than a social justice warrior, as people on Tumblr had come to think of me.

These days, there’s no shortage of online accountability efforts, the large part of them anonymously run. Some accounts post typically anodyne but occasionally explosive celebrity gossip. Others are explicitly aimed at naming, shaming and punishing people for all kinds of actions and missteps. My own work fell somewhere in the middle, I think; the information I posted was out in the open, but I was cataloging it to make a case against the veneration of the rich and famous.

As many have noted, the coronavirus pandemic has pronounced the distance between celebrities and the rest of us. And their actions have been subject to greater scrutiny — the vacations they’ve gone on, the parties they’ve held, the access they’ve had to testing and care during a health crisis that has taken millions of lives.

But celebrity culture began to crumble long before Covid-19. Mounting accusations of many kinds, whispered between industry professionals, had become too loud to ignore. Social media, which gave celebrities more control over their images and influence over their fans, also opened them up to new kinds of criticism. People have lost jobs and entire careers because of the kinds of errors my blog cited. Others have apologized for work and behavior that, re-examined in a contemporary context, just doesn’t hold up.

For years, I’ve regretted the spotlight I put on other people’s mistakes, as if one day I wouldn’t make plenty of my own. There can be an unsparing purity to growing into one’s social conscience that is often overbroad.

My brain wasn’t ready for nuance. I was angered by hypocrisy and cruelty; what I did about it was apply a level of scrutiny that left no room for error. I’m not saying that I should be canceled for my teenage blog. (Please don't!) I just know what we all should know by now: that no one who has lived publicly, online or off, has a spotless record.

For these reasons, I’ve thought about deleting my Tumblr. But doing that would mean erasing my own errors of judgment. I almost feel like I need to leave it up to punish myself for having made it in the first place. That, and I know someone could (and probably would) just pull it up on Wayback Machine. The internet, after all, never forgets.

~~~~~~~

[fictitiousponies]

Rusty Quill Official: My thoughts

First I’d like to point out that I’m literally a nobody. I’m not a mod, I’m not a crew member of Rusty Quill, I am literally just someone who hangs out in the Rusty Quill Official discord (I AM a patron though, so I do have access to the Patron only channels). 

I’ve been seeing the people that are in this ‘group of 10 or 11 people’ stir things up in the server for a while now, and I thought I’d just give my own experiences and thoughts on the subject.  Firstly, the fact that I even have to ‘give my credentials’ about this is ridiculous, but these are the type of people who if you aren’t ‘xyz’ and you disagree with anything they say, you are automatically deemed racist, homophobic, ableist, sexist, etc etc, so I’d just like to point out I am a queer woman with both mental and physical health disorders and disabilities. I’m also white, cis and allo, so I do admit there are only so many things I feel comfortable commenting on without getting piled on for ‘not being allowed’ or ‘not understanding’ (because thats 100% what the folks who are responsible for that doc do in the discord) First of all, I’d like to discuss the fact that the RQO server has grown RAPIDLY in the last few months. I don’t have access to the statistics but I’ve seen them in the past, and the server went from less than 2000 people to over 8000 in a matter of like two or three months. The mods of this server are all volunteer, besides a select few(Anil(Community Manager), Bryn(who is a voice actor/talent for Rusty Quill Gaming) and now Autumn, who literally was just announced as Anil’s new assistant community manager YESTERDAY. Before yesterday, April, the production manager, was also a Mod. Besides those people NO ONE works for rusty quill. Everyone is a volunteer and a fan. Rusty quill is a SMALL PODCAST COMPANY that has seen a rapid growth of their fanbase over the last 9 or so months. They have stated many many times that they are working behind the scenes to plan a server overhaul, and have given us a suggestion form. They all work very hard to try and make RQO a place where people feel safe. There are topics of conversation that NEED a more intense style of modding to be handled correctly, and at the current moment they don’t have the ability to do that so that things can be discussed safely for everyone involved. They have stated multiple times that is being worked on as something for the server revamp, and it just seems to not click. There are conversations that happen in this server that they have a problem with getting ‘sideswept’ that I KNOW make MANY people uncomfortable, and that is mainly the policing of headcanons. Saying ‘it makes me uncomfortable when Elias/Jonah is portrayed as trans or gay’ is one thing. Its completely another to call someone who HC’s Elias/Jonah as trans or gay as transphobic or homophobic, use vomit emojis and basically sit there and completely bash someone for having that headcanon, which is what tends to happen and makes people SUPER uncomfortable, causing the mods to come in and go ‘okay enough of this’ (but they didnt screenshot themselves being nasty because why would they?) They also straight up bash you if you like certain characters, Daisy and Gertrude being two main ones I’ve seen. I understand the discourse surrounding Daisy, I really do, but to be treated like the scum of the earth for daring to like Daisy as a character, for automatically being labeled as racist or pro-cop just because you enjoy a FICTIONAL CHARACTER is...absolutely ridiculous. Its THIS that the mods are reacting to, NOT calling the characters themselves out. Its them blatantly being rude and making people uncomfortable about liking a fictional character.  Another thing I’d like to address is the server being ‘ableist’  towards people with ADHD by being strict about going off topic. This is something I’ve been EXTREMELY vocal about myself, as someone with ADHD, I DO feel frustrated with the fact that if things veer off topic we get told to take it to another channel. Its jarring, as someone who tends to go on tangents and it doesn’t feel great but I understand the need for it. There are specific channels for a reason. Just because something inconveniences you doesn’t mean its automatically ableist. if every conversation was allowed to run rampant in every channel it would be chaos. AS IT IS so many of the channels are far too busy for my liking and I don’t feel comfortable in them with the amount of people (something that has zero to do with the way RQO runs the server and everything to do with the fact that its just a very large server with a lot of people) I tend to like to stay in the Patreon section because its much smaller and calmer. Also the Gen channels for me(General, Court of Nobles) are great because unless its something super specific(a long discussion about food, a specific character discussion, etc etc) there isn’t a topic to follow, therefor my ADHD can run free. Thats just...how things have to be sometimes. Once again its something thats been told is being worked on for the server revamp, possibly adding more gen channels or such things because the server is getting so large. I’m sure there are other things I could address here, but Honestly I am tired. I’ve been in a LOT of Discords only to nope out of them within a few weeks because I don’t feel safe or welcome. Rusty Quill Official is the first server I’ve been in where I don’t feel like I am just a number, just a nameless fan, despite how large the server is. Its the first large server where I feel like I have a sense of belonging. Its a place I hold very dear to my heart. It might not be for everyone. It might not be everyones cup of tea, I certainly don’t blame the servers I’ve left for not being something I vibe with, but to hear it be ‘called out’ and bashed like this is really sad, especially when SO MANY of the screenshots were taken out of context/not shown the whole story/had bits cut out that would importantly show another side to everything.  To call the RQO server an unsafe space would be extremely unjust. If its not something you enjoy, then thats unfortunate. There are opportunities for you to maybe meet people in the discord that you vibe with and break off to your own smaller server. Thats perfectly valid, and in now way us telling you to ‘leave if you dont like it’. Do what makes YOU comfortable, but to continuously cause issues and drama on purpose when things have been addressed and you simply dont like the answer... Its not fair to everyone else on the discord who IS having a good time. Allow Rusty Quill time to grow with its fanbase. There are going to be hiccups. There are going to be snags. People are HUMAN and to expect things to be Absolutely Completely Unproblematic Or Else is unrealistic. Things ARE being addressed. things ARE being worked on.  Thats all I’ve got to say. 

[bonegender]

I'm deciding to respond to this in a separate post because I do not want to derail the original intentions of the post with my thoughts. You can read the article in the original post here and I recommend that you do before reading what I have to say about it in my post.

I think this article has the best of intentions, and like the tweets the writer critiques and admonishes for blowing things out of proportion and becoming biased, I think unfortunately that is what this article has done in turn. Often times, this is just the very nature of discussing hot topics and sensitive issues in online circles and even offline. What Isabel did was perhaps in good faith but needs to be recognized as a faux pas. People are sensitive to this sort of anonymity for a reason as it is weaponized by T*RFS and other anti trans groups on the regular.

I'm rather appalled at the stance posed by this article, questioning what harm would it do if there was another piece of transphobic media in a space that is supposed to be more welcoming of transness? What harm would it do? It would welcome more transphobia well intentioned or otherwise. What's to stop others from making insensitive short stories under the guise of good faith? What's to stop a wave of Sci Fi writers from flooding the scene with wombyn ideologies? Isn't there enough transphobic, homophobic, sexist and racist writers no matter the genre? But it's okay to excuse more of them because they could potentially be closeted?

Personally I feel this is an asinine take. I feel to allow for a margin of error especially with the mask of anonymity is just allowing for people to stick their xenophobic, transphobic, and potentially fetishizing fingers into places that are attempting to make themselves safe for other marginalized people. This isn't to say that there shouldn't be room for discussion of gender like Isabel attempted to do, and I think it was a very brave and brash move for her to make that her FIRST publication as her new attempted identity. However, her downfall is not single-handedly the fault of the twitter users that speculated her identity. She took a bat to a hornet's nest and then was shocked when she was stung.

I do not wish her harm and I do not think she deserved the level of backlash she got. I do think that she was misguided, and perhaps should have thought twice about making such a reactionary and problematic meme the title of her first work. That alone is a red flag and especially for someone with so little information behind them. It's really bizarre to me how one can cry out that they were shot when they were the one holding the gun to their foot. Perhaps "cancel culture" is a bit out of control on some level, of that I will concede, but did Isabel really live in such a bubble as not to expect potential backlash?

If this article was meant to put to rest the discussion around this whole debacle, it failed. To me this is further stirring of the pot when really Isabel should be left to heal and mend her relationship with her identity after the fall out of this nightmare. This opens the door for further dissection of her behavior, her motives, and what it means to be closeted and the way people handle transness and their expression of gender. Something that really spoke out to me is Isabel's comment about being sniffed out as potentially not being a woman because she didn't know how to write women and how that notion was potentially transphobic. I am a trans man. I will never claim to know how to write cis men, nor can I truly say I know how to write trans men either. I barely know what it's like to be trans and that is from my own perspective. Every woman is different, trans or otherwise, and there is no definitive way to write one gender or any for that matter.

I feel that this was a perfect storm of an inexperienced writer being published with potentially internalized transphobia working through that transphobic ideology on a grand stage for all to see. No one could have possibly predicted the outcome in full, but it would be foolish to say that none of it was truly expected. Ignorance is still ignorance, even if it's coming from those who are marginalized. We can forgive and we can move on but to give people passes simply because they are on the side of those downtrodden leaves room for others to cry wolf. I wish the best for Isabel, and hope she can recover and be something more of what she wants to be, but it needs to be recognized she made a mistake. A good-hearted mistake, but a mistake nonetheless.

I will say that yes, Twitter and other sites are very good at tearing it's users apart and keeping some sort of pecking order. I will admit that online queer spaces are becoming notorious for eating themselves alive and measuring and monitoring all behaviors to make us all seem more consumable and easy to categorize. There is huge issue to be taken with the way queer spaces shove identities in boxes where there should be room for expression and error. Where is the line? When do we call something a mockery or satire? Where does good faith end and malice begin and who gets to make that call? This may not be answered for a long time now, and things like this may continue to harm people, but perhaps there should be lessons taught to help people distance themselves from online dog fights like this. Maybe there should be resources to help oneself guard against backlash like this. It's a tricky rope to walk along, since so much of this borders on censorship, suppression of discussion and the ability to defend groups against those that would seek to disguise in order to push harmful agendas.

I don't know. The only thing we can say for certain is that a writer tried in good faith to express her conflict with her identity, the horror of what it would mean to have gender weaponized and exploited in literal combat, and ended up fighting a battle that ultimately could have taken her own life. What's worse is that she got to see the true face of her peers, and watched as they tore her apart from behind the curtain. That must have been very hard to stomach and I applaud her for seeking help. I hope she's able to recover, and wherever she goes from here I only hope that it's up.

[spacebaubles]

CW: Transphobia/Homophobia/racism/sexism and all that horrible shit.

Here is your reminder for 2020: Think critically about the media you consume.

Last year, the dumpster fire that it was saw the coming out of JK Rowling as a TERF with her proclamation of support for Maya Forstater. I know you are probably sick of hearing about it but I give zero fucks about that. Scroll down like every other human adult does.

The reason why I am talking about this again is that for me it highlighted two things: how little research people undertake, and exactly how few people are scrutinising the information they have been provided.

For those of you who don't know: Maya Forstater was working for a think tank who worked on tackling poverty and inequality in the UK. Her work contract was not renewed by this organisation as her conduct online and within the workplace went against the workplace code of conduct. She refused to work with trans clients, she deliberately misgendered and harassed trans colleagues, and abused and harassed trans people on Twitter. In light of her behaviour, the organisation decided not to renew her contract.

Maya Forstater didn't really like this very much and tried to take her employer to court (to an employment tribunal). She argued that her exclusionary views on transgender people was akin to holding a religious belief and therefore said beliefs should be protected under the Equality Act - the UK's version of an anti-discrimination act which legally protects people from discrimination in the workplace and the broader community.

Under the Equality Act 2010 it is against the law to discriminate against anyone because of: age, gender reassignment, being married or in a civil partnership, being pregnant or on maternity leave, disability, race including colour, nationality, ethnic or national origin, religion or belief, sex, or sexual orientation.

The act defines discrimination as:

-- Direct discrimination - treating someone with a protected characteristic less favourably than others.

-- Indirect discrimination - putting rules or arrangements in place that apply to everyone, but that put someone with a protected characteristic at an unfair disadvantage.

-- Harassment - unwanted behaviour linked to a protected characteristic that violates someone’s dignity or creates an offensive environment for them.

-- Victimisation - treating someone unfairly because they’ve complained about discrimination or harassment.

These points above are the ones I want to focus on. The courts rightfully told Maya Forstater that her case was a crock of shit which prompted a Twitter campaign "IStandWithMaya" for people to show solidarity with her cause The UK press had painted a picture of a woman unfairly dismissed due to her views, and her want to "protect women". People not so much lapped it up but deep-throated the fuck out of it.

Now let's do a thought experiment for science. Let's replace the word "trans person" with "lesbian". Outside of fringe groups of people, it is socially less acceptable to discriminate against lesbians such as myself. People actually get angry when told of the discrimination that lesbians face.

Imagine I had to work with Maya Forstater. Imagine she refused to work with me. She called me "unnatural" and "sick" and a predator. She made me feel scared to come to work and physically unsafe being in her presence. She also harassed other lesbians online and had a following of people who supported her in doing so. Imagine when our imaginary workplace refused to renew her contract to protect my safety and the safety of our clients, she took our workplace to court.

In court, she argued that her anti-lesbian beliefs were the same as holding a religious belief and as such, under the Equality Act as you cannot discriminate against anyone for the religion they practice - her workplace should not have been unable to refuse to renew her contract.

What Maya Forstater wants is not the freedom to hold her beliefs without discrimination (i.e., In the same way as you cannot refuse employment to someone simply because they are Christian, or Jewish or Muslim), but the freedom to engage in actions based on those beliefs. The freedom to engage in harmful actions without consequences towards a class of people who are protected under the Equality Act. There is a difference between holding a belief and acting on that belief. You can have a belief. You can believe homophobic, sexist, anti-Semitic, racist or transphobic things. Discrimination occurs when you actively engage in harmful acts based on those beliefs towards the people those beliefs are about.

And that's what Maya Forstater wants. She wants legal protection to engage in emotionally and psychologically harmful acts by harassing her colleagues in real life and online, and refusing to help clients in need. And people supported that without even realising what they were supporting because they didn't critically analyse the situation. If she had won that court case, it would have been a massive blow to LGBTI civil rights.

Not only have people supported this without really looking at the situation, but they have also swallowed right-wing rhetoric used against cisgender women and other LGBTI people because it supports their bigotry against trans people.

An often-used example of this is the habit of Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists to attempt to devalue trans women by defining "Real Woman" as a person who has a uterus or the ability to get pregnant. Reducing cisgender women to specific body parts is a tactic used by right-wing conservatives to take away our rights. Particularly reproductive rights. Using the same tactics as a means to oppress trans/genderqueer/non-binary people harms the LGBTI community as a whole as well as straight cisgender women.

It amazes me the sheer number of women who will gleefully use the same tactics used against them as a means to justify their bigotry without even a hint of irony. They don't just hate trans people; they also don't give a fuck about your fellow ciswomen. TERFs getting into bed with right-wing conservatives isn't new. Bigots using right-wing talking points isn't new. It's been going on forever. TERFs are not your allies. They don't care about the LGBTI community. They don't care about protecting anyone.

But people passively (and sometimes actively) are okay with this because simple slogans and sensationalised falsehoods are easy to swallow than taking the time to really look at what is happening. Right-wing media has successfully painted LGBTI rights as a zero-sum game and spread the idea that for one group to gain rights, another group must lose them.

This is crap. Don't fall for it.

Stay critical and support your local queers. We're pretty fucking fabulous.

P.S: Just a note: You can still love and cherish Harry Potter while still understanding that Rowling's views don't reflect the universe she built. Don't stop loving HP because of an author. She might have created the universe, but it belongs to the fans now.

The full ruling is here: https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.snopes.com/uploads/2019/06/Forstater-v-CGD-Judgement-2019.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwj_-aD08-HmAhW2ILcAHWZzA-sQFjACegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw2rfgLLGCwUemgI6Gq959Y1

More links:

https://www.leftvoice.org/life-after-stonewall-the-struggle-against-terfs-and-the-far-right

https://www.out.com/politics/2019/4/03/republicans-are-using-transphobia-sabotage-equality-act

https://www.thedailybeast.com/radical-feminists-and-conservative-christians-team-up-against-transgender-people

https://www.mediamatters.org/tucker-carlson/right-wing-media-and-think-tanks-are-aligning-fake-feminists-who-dehumanize-trans

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/07/opinion/terf-trans-women-britain.html

https://www.politicalresearch.org/2016/08/11/the-christian-rights-love-affair-with-anti-trans-feminists

https://www.transadvocate.com/is-sadism-popular-with-terfs-a-chat-with-an-ex-gendercrit_n_18568.htm

https://www.vox.com/identities/2019/9/5/20840101/terfs-radical-feminists-gender-critical

https://www.vox.com/identities/2019/12/19/21029874/jk-rowling-transgender-tweet-terf

https://www.versobooks.com/blogs/4090-i-m-not-transphobic-but-a-feminist-case-against-the-feminist-case-against-trans-inclusivity

https://jezebel.com/the-unholy-alliance-of-trans-exclusionary-radical-femin-1834120309

[lilnasxvevo]

I think the thing that bothers me the most about just vaguely referring to someone as “problematic” is that it obscures what exactly they said or did that is considered problematic. Like, what did they do? Are they racist/sexist/homophobic/antisemitic—and if so, to what extent? Did they get called out for sexual harassment? Are they a serial killer? Do they support fracking? Are they friends with a war criminal? Are they just generally not a very kind person? Did they rob a homeless shelter? WHY are they problematic?

And this bothers me for two reasons mainly and they’re 1) when you call a celebrity “problematic” and don’t elaborate and not everyone knows what you’re referring to (or if they’re just not sure you’re thinking of the same thing as them), you send people scrambling to look up variations of vague phrases like “(celebrity name) controversy” and “(celebrity name) problematic.” If instead you just went ahead and said “this celebrity is hella transphobic” then people can either go “yeah, I’ve heard that, proceed with your post because I know what you’re talking about” or they can go “ok hang on a sec” and very quickly look up “(celebrity name) transphobic” and very quickly acquaint themselves with what you’re talking about.

And... b) I think that sometimes it can be something to hide behind. As you have probably noticed, there’s a very wide range of behaviors that we have mostly all accepted can be labeled as “problematic,” and if you just call someone “problematic” instead of being more specific, it’s easier for someone to act like the thing their Fave did actually wasn’t that bad. “Look, I know he’s problematic but I still like him” sounds reasonable, but is he problematic because he said something offensive once or is he problematic because he’s a well-documented perpetrator of intimate partner violence? If you’re going to hold fast to your parasocial relationship with a celebrity even after they did something incredibly fucked up, it’s disingenuous to not be up-front about what it is exactly that they did.

[karazrel]

Some ppl in the fandom wanna pretend there isn't racism when a big part of sc fics have to turn James into an shittier person so lames could break up and everyone read it with gusto and not a problem whatsoever

EXACTLY! The issue here is that people think you’re only being racist if you’re calling someone racial slurs and anything else can be chalked up to disliking the character, which is flat out not true.

James is someone who is canonically a very kind, compassionate and respectful person and half of these fics have him being a terrible or outright abusive boyfriend. That’s not going into the number of times some people have vilified him for touching or kissing lena his girlfriend on the show and insisting that he’s forcing himself on her or that she’s repulsed by him. Like do people not realise that there is a racist historical basis when it comes to painting moc and especially black men as aggressors who prey on the docile white women that would never look at them twice under any other circumstances? That is absolutely racist and anti-black.

Then there are things like people actively celebrating when he got shot which is all kinds of disgusting but was once again excused by saying “it’s just because we hate the character” as though that in any way shape or form justifies being happy or wishing death on a character of colour and especially in such a violent way. And then it happened all over again with william & people wanting eve to kill him.

And what absolutely blows my mind is the fact that James has quite literally done nothing to warrant this level of rabid hatred directed towards him. His only “crime” was dating lena, and every other argument trying to prove he’s a bad person just doesn’t hold water. People say that he was rude and distrustful of her at the start, which sure was true, but like. So was literally every other character in that room including alex. And then they all got over it and started accepting lena was a good person (s5 notwithstanding), and GC were on good terms for most of s3a before they started dating (rushed development or not) so where tf are people getting these ideas from.

You are allowed to dislike characters and ships, you’re allowed to criticise terrible writing choices and rushed development, you’re allowed to call out actors for being homophobic/sexist/transphobic etc. No one is arguing that you can’t or that everyone needs to ship something just because it has a poc in it. What you absolutely cannot do under any circumstances is resort to racist and anti-black rhetoric to express your anger or frustration at these things. And if a poc is telling you that they are uncomfortable with what you’ve said or that they find it racist, the answer isn’t to pull out every excuse under the sun and be like “IM not racist i just hate the character” or “what about xyz!!” the right thing to do is to listen and acknowledge the issues in what was said. The show is racist enough and has gone out of its way to sideline and undermine these characters, the least people can do is not contribute towards that and make it worse.

[cheryls-blossomed]

Yeah I feel like people’s fixation on celebs lives has always been there hence the popularity of tabloid magazines throughout the years but I feel sm has made it worse. Now people expect celebs to provide access to your personal lives. They have direct access to these celebs than ever before. So speculation into their personal lives is even more intense than ever before. Some truly get caught up in it and forget what boundaries look like. Then you have celebs that over share their personal life which could lead to finding out something about them that makes it hard to continue to be a fan. I try to avoid a lot of sm, I don’t want to know about celebs personal lives because they’re human and prone to making mistakes, being in bad relationships, having problems like the rest of us

Exactly. And obviously when a celebrity’s dating history or wrt people they associate with shows that they associate with people who are racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, and hold other bigoted views, then it ought to be called out, because this is indicative of these celebrities holding such harmful views, while having a big platform, or at least of these celebrities being perfectly fine with giving a free pass to people who hold such disgusting views. These celebrities need to be held accountable. They need to be de-platformed.

But this obsession over people’s lives is just really ridiculous. The things I see on social media about people; the level of scrutiny based on nothing; the invasiveness and the nasty commentary. It’s so uncomfortable and frankly wrong, in my opinion. And it goes beyond that, it’s like people nit-pick when actors are not having a good day, as if they’re not human beings. 

It’s also why I begrudge stan culture when it comes to real people. Some stans pedestalize celebrities and expect them to do exactly as they think they should and not complain or be hurt, but simply cater to them and what they expect of this person. Other stans think their fave can do absolutely no wrong, and so if an actor is rightfully called out, they get all angry and start yelling at people online for daring to hold their fave accountable. This is an unhealthy culture, and social media has essentially intensified it to an exponential degree. 

I have my favorite actors of whom I am a fan. I also know that they are human beings, and I follow them for the great work that they put out, while appreciating the way they use their platforms. I don’t follow every detail about them or scrutinize their every post for clues about their personal life or anything of the sort. Like the level of conspiracy theories that people peddle about celebrities of whom they claim to be a fan is honestly really bizarre, entitled, and just inappropriate in my view.

[caligobeltrao]

I for one would love 2 hear ur thoughts on the hannibal novel 👀👀 - bloodybrahms ☺

ahhh thank you BB!! <3 I’m gonna throw it under a cut bc I know people aren’t gonna want my ramblings clogging up their dash lol. 

Edit after I’ve written it: Holy shit this turned into a monster but tbf I did say I was going to rant. I think I miss writing college essays...

Also, I would like to note bc I’m about to bitch, I do still love Hannibal and Clarice and all of the franchise. Hell, I even love book Hannibal because I’m garbage and want to be special. So yeah. It’s a fond bitching. 

Okay where to fuckin begin man... This novel was a fucking Shit Show, my dudes. It was like baby’s first fanfiction. 

Let’s just jump in, shall we? 

So by now, having read both Red Dragon and Silence of the Lambs, I know Harris injects of lot of sexual shit into his novels, fine whatever, but the amount of pedophilia is insane. Like, Red Dragon with the grandmother threatening to cut his dick off by holding it in between scissors????? And then we have Mason Verger, worst human on the planet. Like jfc I’ll go into him specifically more later but just. Men. Why does it always have to be sexual. 

Like that time Clarice wasn’t wearing a bra and she wanted to prove to Paul Krendler she wasn’t wearing a wire so she flashed him her tits?? Unnecessary, Harris. Bullshit on all counts. 

Next, poor Ardelia Mapp. So he clearly wrote out her accent in Silence, which frankly reads racist since to me it seemed like he did it every time a character of color was met but he didn’t for Clarice’s Southern accent except for this book when she was talking to Ardelia. Now, that’d be a cool way to show how close they are, sure, but it just... She didn’t show up enough to warrant that reaction from me, plus all the other casually racist shit he throws in. 

Ardelia’s literally there as the wise Black best friend to help Clarice along. She doesn’t feel like her own character, she’s only there in conjunction with her, or doing something for her. She was the fucking valedictorian for Christ fucking sake, she also works at the Bureau but if her department was mentioned it was only once in passing. She was not a full character which fucking blows because she could’ve been so cool. 

And real quick before I forget, I hate how she’s treated in the end. I do like she gets a reference and that brainwashed Clarice sent her an emerald ring and a note saying she was okay, but Ardelia was abandoned by her best friend (that she had lived with) with not even a phone call and they will never see each other again and I think Ardelia knows it. It sucks and I’m heartbroken for this woman. 

I’m gonna touch a little bit on the racism too. Now I’m white and not the most qualified to talk about this shit, but I do wanna mention it because it makes me mad. There’s just so many unnecessary slurs, any POC is more of a background helper character to Clarice than anything or a foil. 

For example, Evelda Drumgo. She starts us off. Badass Black woman who runs a drug cartel. She chooses to shoot at Clarice and risk her baby’s life, and we have Clarice wash the baby off and save his life. Then Evelda’s mother is written as irrational when she slaps Clarice for visiting the baby in the hospital; I get Clarice’s impulse, but that woman just lost her daughter because Clarice killed her. I would’ve slapped Clarice too, even if it was a totally justifiable shot. 

The baby himself is used as a foil throughout other parts, most notably to me when Clarice goes to visit Mason the first time. There are two Black boys from a foster home playing in a room with a camera so Mason can watch them, and it shakes Clarice up a lil bit because of the baby, but it says she’s getting more used to it.

Now this is half and half well written and shoddy to me. It’d be a cool moment, if the whole incident wasn’t nearly completely forgotten for the rest of the book shortly afterword. It could show growth, if Clarice had any growth to show. 

And then the Romani people who are literally just used and thrown away. Sickening. Also very broadly used the stereotypes we hear which Sucks; the three we meet in any sort of depth are pickpockets, one was already in jail and Pazzi used his leverage as a police officer to get her to do what he wanted and threatened to have her baby taken away from her permanently, like it was just bad. And then the man got killed. Pazzi let him bleed out. Asshole. 

The slurs. I could take out all of them and pretty much have the same damn thing. Like I get showing negative aspects of characters and just because a character’s racist doesn’t mean the author is, but with the characters already being as shitty as they are, fully didn’t need it to make them worse. Entirely unnecessary. Racism or the character being racist has no impact on the plot is the major thing, I think. And you can replace that with anything along those lines, like sexist, homophobic, transphobic. It didn’t impact the plot, they can still be shitty, you just don’t need to use them. 

This also goes in reference to Margot being a lesbian. And the transphobia holy shit, it was disgusting. Harris had Clarice think something so cruel and unnecessary it’s like my guy why was that even remotely something we needed to hear. We didn’t. I wanted to stop reading because that’s not my Clarice, first and foremost, and second, this is supposed to be the character we LIKE. And now I don’t like ANYBODY in this damn book. 

And he treats Margot like shit too, and Barney. 

Their friendship was beautiful and great and finally for once something nice was happening in Margot’s life and I was happy reading it, and then FOR SOME REASON Margot goes to shower in the same room as Barney after a workout, which makes no sense, and then Barney tries to force a kiss on her (and he was hard, Harris made that very clear) and she had been sexually assaulted by Mason her brother and ruin the whole damn thing and none of it would have changed any other piece of the novel if you removed it!!!!!!!!! Entirely unnecessary!!!!!! And Barney had the gall to say well I couldn’t help myself like none of that was realistic in the slightest, she never would have went in the same room to shower with him. 

Something you need to do is basically get some suspension of disbelief from your reader and maintain and stretch that as you go, right? Well mine was gone at that moment.

Also side note Margot is basically just there to show how shitty Mason is for the umpteenth time. Her whole thing is lesbian sexual assault victim.

Also heavily implied she was a lesbian because of the sexual assault. And we rarely see Judy, her girlfriend, so. Bad. Bad all around. 

Circling back around to Clarice and how disappointing she is in the books as compared to the movies. Well, Clarice is also a poorly written character. She’s 1000x better in the movie. Hell, she’s even better in this book than she was in Silence, but that’s not fucking hard. 

Pretty much all the characters are so flat they don’t even classify as two dimensional. 

Like sure, maybe we wanna say Clarice didn’t really solve much in the first book and was just handed everything because she was a trainee and that’s what Hannibal wanted. 

Like if you remember the John Mulaney sketch of Delta Airlines where he’s just going “Okay!” and running to the next place he’s told, that’s Clarice. 

Okay so why does she get goaded into all this shit now? She should know better. She should know how to handle herself better. Like she messes up basic fucking shit like clearing a room before untying Hannibal, which was stupid, she seems oblivious to some of the politics at work even though she’s been in the FBI for like 7 years now, she would at least have more fucking contacts than Brigham who died in the beginning and Jack Crawford who died at the end by rolling over in his bed to his dead wife’s side and Ardelia who would be near the same level as Clarice I guess but I still don’t know her damn department???? Like you fucking network. 

Plus after her final fall from grace with the FBI, we meet or are told of random side characters that go no where and do nothing just to say “hey look at my special little girl, everyone likes her and looks up to her!!” Why? Because she caught Buffalo Bill 7 years ago and then never got a promotion or even worked with the BAU? Again, it does not make sense. People may pity her? But a random girl in the lab wouldn’t be fangirling. Starling herself said her career had gone nowhere because of the politics and not sleeping with Paul. You need to show me why she’s likable in her actions not others words. 

We spend more time away from her than with her anyways but Jesus. 

AND HER IN THE ENDING. She was fucking BRAINWASHED????? Bull FUCKING SHIT. He completely ruined anything he even remotely might’ve had in this cluster fuck of a novel. 

Case in point, difference from the movie, Hannibal spends weeks (possibly? it’s left purposefully vague and I’m guessing that’s because Harris didn’t know the ins and outs and wanted his novel done) meticulously brainwashing Clarice, he had stolen her father’s bones and she’s so far gone at that point she doesn’t care, and the whole scene where Paul is getting his brain eaten? Yeah, she happily indulges and when he insults her, she asks Hannibal for more. Fuck you, Thomas Harris. 

And Hannibal’s a Gary Stu, fucking fight me. 

In the movie he either is or he’s tap dancing on that line, don’t get me wrong, but in the novels it’s insufferable because it doesn’t seem earned. The pigs didn’t attack him because they didn’t smell fear on him. No. He’s easily able to drug and brainwash Clarice and take her as his lover. No. Go away. He’s so smart and one step ahead and can manipulate anyone and everyone into doing what he wants and blah blah blah shut up! A character being perfect isn’t interesting even if he’s evil!! We all know he’s never truly in danger because of how Harris writes him and that’s boring!! 

And I personally have a pet peeve where the villain is described as a monster or unstoppable. That’s boring and I no longer care about your story. I know 9 times out of 10 your main character is going to find a bullshit way around the impossible and kill it. Or it’s just like a default personality and nothing else is added to it. And that’s Hannibal. 

I’m on Hannibal Rising now and, spoiler alert, he’s very bland as a character. (Also Harris switched some details in the novel which kinda annoys me like get your own canon right my man but whatever.) The plot itself is pretty fun? I guess? Like there’s action and stuff and I’m enjoying that. But it’s the same set up where Harris’s Gary Stu always wins, like he was 13 in the book when he killed the butcher. Let. Your. Characters. Lose. 

Also even more racist shit but what did I expect really. 

Anyways, I have no idea who I’m supposed to root for in the novel because all the characters are just kinda shitty. It really just boils down to Harris not showing any redeeming qualities or actions from any of his characters. I liked Margot for a while out of spite but she never really went anywhere and the way she killed Mason (btw she sodomized him with a cattle prod to get his semen bc side plot and then stuffed his Moray eel down his throat and somehow I still don’t think that’s the worst part of the novel) just. No thanks really. 

All the random little side plots were also pretty not great. How many time does Harris have to say Pazzi of the Pazzis? Like I fucking get what you’re going for, even if I hadn’t watched the movie I’d be like, “Oh this dude’s gonna get hung outta that window, dope,” the literal first time. Stop treating your readers like idiots. 

And then Margot’s side plot was that the will their father left said she needed a biological heir to inherit because he was pissed she’s gay and we needed the homophobia I guess, so Mason got everything, and she was helping him with the Hannibal shit because he’s pretty incapacitated duh, and in return he would give her his jizz so Judy could be artificially inseminated and they could have a child and get some of her inheritance. I don’t care. It was all very gross, and Mason kept saying shit like suck me off you’ve done it before, I won’t be able to feel it anyway, maybe Judy’ll suck me off you think she’d like that. It’s all gross. 

And I guess this is a good a time as any to finally start on Mason. So a great rule of writing to make everything work better and give your story more depth is to give everyone both positive and negative traits right, even and especially the bad guys? Like, rules can always be broken if you’re a good enough writer, but I believe I have established that Harris isn’t quite there yet, to put it nicer than I have. 

Mason is one bad trait after another. It’s like when Harris was bored of constantly writing about plain ole pedophilia, he threw a dart at a board of horrible things and landed on topics such as: pedophilia but make it incest, extreme sadism, sadism but against children now, and good old fashioned racism! Fucking Cordell was supposed to collect the children’s tears after Mason would make them cry and put them in martinis for him. Realism went out the goddamn door real fast with this novel y’all. Like a fucking Scooby Doo villain over here. 

And he loves talking about being a sadistic pedophile, he will literally not shut up about it to Clarice when she first gets there telling her about his trip to Africa and this portable guillotine he has and just. I get it was probably like trying to make her uncomfortable on purpose because he’s a Freak, but it went way too far if only because it was annoying, not even uncomfortable for me as a reader. I was bored real quick. Get to the shit I actually wanna know. 

And it sucks because of the weird, over-the-top way of how he died, I got zero satisfaction from his death. I couldn’t even be like, “Well at least Margot got her revenge,” because that’s not how she originally wanted to kill him!!! She wanted someone else to extract his semen for the insemination but couldn’t find anybody to do it for her, and then Hannibal, whilst tied up, said use a cattle prod and you won’t have to touch him and when you kill him you can blame it on me, and I’m pretty sure even if she hit his prostate right every time and he COULD cum from that alone in addition to how his body is Fucked Up now, it would’ve been a lengthy, gross, and re-traumatizing experience for her because all she wanted to do was avoid seeing and touching her brother’s private parts again, which I think is a totally fair and rational desire. 

So I have to live with the fact that she was desperate enough to not lose the house and business because of her homophobic father to go through her childhood trauma again. There’s no place in this book that has a somewhat positive conclusion. 

Even the very last bit where Barney has a girlfriend and a ton of cash from Margot, all he wants to do is see every Vermeer in the world right? Well, because Hannibal and Clarice are in Buenos Aires where one of them is on display, Barney gets spooked and has him and his girlfriend leave before he can see it and it ends that bit with he never got to see it ever so he didn’t even complete his dream!!! 

Also for good measure, Harris throws in that Hannibal and Clarice enjoy having sex regularly. For no reason. Just letting us know. 

I know this seemed like just a bitch fest, because it was, but I kinda sorta enjoyed it? It kept my attention at the very least. It’s really disappointing because like I said, I love the movies, all of them, and have since I was little. To see the original not stand up to that image in my mind is a little heartbreaking. Especially Clarice. She was a strong female role model to me, but turns out she’s... just kinda there. And her ending is that of her no longer being herself and getting that agency taken away from her. 

There is a reference to her waking up from a sleep, if she is asleep (that’s kind of how he worded it), that kinda let us draw our conclusions on whether she was just brainwashed into being good for him or if she was willingly going along with this and was in love with him I guess and it felt like a slap in the face. She turned from a hardworking, modest country girl working her way up to the FBI into a female Hannibal. Which on the surface sounds kinda cool because we love luxe serial killers, but that’s not what she wanted or who she was set up to be. And to insinuate that she would even remotely consider choosing that path for herself is at its best an insult to her and at its worst a complete erasure of her background, what little character Harris did set up. It also completely erases my own connections to her, as a girl from a small town myself who has bigger dreams than this and also... a good, strong set of morals. He just tossed that out the window. 

Obviously if you’re on this blog, you like slasher x reader shit, and this is a novel with a slasher x a person, right? So why am I so mad about it? Because the whole point of this blog and reader insert fanfiction in general is that you are taken as you are and loved wholly as yourself and that you are worthy of that love (in a fictional setting, not really loving people who are like this, which I think we understand but I want to clarify). She was not taken as she was. He is not in love with her, she is not in love with him. She was transformed into what he wanted out of her. He couldn’t get her to be Mischa, his first plan, so he made her like himself. And the fact that he was so easily able to do it makes me upset, and even more so is that it’s not written like it’s weird or wrong. It’s written like they’re in love and this is a good thing. 

He may have been going for the classic “everyone is capable of doing bad things” stuff we see a lot, but we got that from Margot already. And Barney, for stealing Lecter’s stuff and selling it. And Paul, and the entire FBI for turning on Clarice, and the kidnappers, and Pazzi, and random shitty side characters. And none of it was particularly well written or made some sort of strong statement. It just was. And that’s not a good enough basis for a novel. 

Anyways, if you made it this far holy shit you’re a saint and I love you, let’s be friends?? <3 Have a good day y’all, thank you BB for giving me permission to ramble.