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#they wakes up people at 8 at the morning to eat
totalswag · 24 hours
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chapter two - all i want
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authors note super sorry chapter two is up so late but it's finally here for you guys! thank you so much for your patients. officially on summer break and i will have more free time on my hands. if you would like to be on my taglist for this series let me know in the comments.
summary Y/N Y/L/N is a regular kook that lives in the Outer Banks. One of the most pleasant person to encounter. Room lights up when you enter a room. Contrary to some kooks, you don't care whether side of the island people come from. Friends with the pogue's. You go through a lot struggles in your life where you shy's away from the world. Rafe Cameron, also known as Kook King. He has a huge reputation on the island; is cold, cocky, jerk face, asshole, and will say whatever he wants to get what he wants. Behind all that tuff-ness, he struggles with a lot of things too. On a random Friday night you meet for the first time and Rafe can’t seem to get you out of his head after your little encounter. He’s never met a girl like you before. Eventually, you learn a lot about the Cameron boy from your eyes.
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warnings love, crying, kissing/making out, yelling, partying, cursing, explicit scenes, fighting, mentions of death, possible pregnancy?, addiction, mentions of drinking and other drug substances.
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The next morning rolls around. The sun shines through the curtains, birds chirping, and the neighbors trim their lawns. Ordinary mornings on the Outer Banks.
Your eyes open gradually, blinking a few times before rubbing them. As you extend your body, you let out a little groan. You feel a minor headache coming on now that you've woken up. 
You're not sure how you wound up back at Scarlett's house, but you arrived safely in bed, makeup off and wearing comfortable clothing. Hands try to find your phone, patting on the covers, trying to find it. When you can’t find it, you lift your body up, only to find it on the floor.
8:30am
"Good morning, sunshine," Scarlett murmurs, turning to face you with her eyes still closed.
"Good morning, sweetheart," you say sarcastically, pushing yourself back under the blankets.
"How did we get back to your house?" You ask casually because all you can think of is how you got home safely without being wounded or waking up with your clothes and makeup still on. 
Scarlett giggles, "my brother picked us up and brought us back after we bribed him with food"
"Okay, that sounds exactly like us when we're drunk," you say, shaking your head.
"So, you wanna tell me what went on between you and Rafe Cameron?" Scarlett dives right into the debrief from last night. "You had that man hooked the entire night, with you two even kissing, Y/N!" she says, her eyes wild.
Oh shit
You can't remember much from yesterday night except getting drunk, playing drinking games, dancing with your friends, and chatting with Rafe. You were shocked to learn that, despite it being your first meeting, Rafe Cameron was with you all night long.
"We got to know one other better. He asked me why we hadn't met before, and I explained that we have the same friends, but we have different priorities." You feel Scarlett's eyes on you the entire time, "We kept eye contact the entire time during our conversation, and whenever I talk to a guy, he can never keep eye contact," you ramble on.
Scarlett dropped her jaw, unable to believe what she was hearing. For a long time, she has wanted you to find someone who makes you happy and makes life worthwhile. She realizes that you stated "my person will come to me when I least expect it," and right now she believes Rafe Cameron is that person. 
“You need to hit him up or ask to hang out soon because holy crap Y/N”
"Stop it, I'm sure he was being his usual self when he talks to girls," you shrug, removing your blankets and getting up to eat breakfast. 
"Don't say that, you know it's true," she gestures at you sharply, "you are right, let's eat breakfast"
During breakfast you continue to talk about the rest of the night with Rafe and how it went all together.
When you made it home, you quickly ran to your shower to get last night off you. Drank water and ibuprofen to get the minor headache to go away.
The feeling of showering after going out feels amazing and you feel completely clean. Usually you take showers the night of but surprisingly this time you didn’t.
By the time you got out of the shower, it was noon. It was just you and your mom at the house while your dad was at work and your younger sister, Jasmine, was at a friend's house next door.
You were putting lotion on your legs in the bathroom when the sound of your moms voice called you from downstairs. "Y/N can you come down here real quick please?" You murmur to yourself before getting your phone and heading downstairs to see what your mom needed.
"Yes, mom?" you inquire, puzzled.
She smiles, "Do you want to go to the store with me to get stuff for dinner tonight? "Dad wants to barbecue steak, and the weather is lovely today," she says as she walks around the kitchen to get her car keys and groceries bags from the pantry.
You lean against the counter and watch your mother stroll about the kitchen. From a young age, you’ve always enjoyed going to places with your mom, it’s been a bonding thing for you two.
"Yeah, sure, let me put my sandals on first," your mother nods, indicating that she will wait in the car.
The drive to the grocery shop took five minutes. The parking lot appeared to be packed, as it usually is. Your mom handed you a list of items she needed as she pushed the cart. There weren't many items, but enough to feed the entire family tonight.
Your headache had gone away which was a relief.
"Should we get your sister ice cream for dessert?" Your mother inquires, pausing in the ice cream aisle and pointing to Jasmine's favorite ice cream.
"She's been asking me to come here for it since Monday, so I don't see why not," you say, already walking past your mom to get the ice cream.
The rest of the time at the grocery store, you helped your mom grab the items she needed to make dinner for the night. Both made sure everything was checked off before checking out.
By the time you arrived home, your dad's truck was parked on the long driveway; it sounded like he had just returned home. When mom switched off the engine, dad walked out of the garage in his regular clothes, looking like he was ready to barbecue. 
"Hi honey, how was work?" Your mother asked gently, her face brightened up, excited about seeing him.
"Not too bad, just a bunch of meetings and figuring out new things to put out next year," your dad says as he grabs bags from the trunk.
Your dad works for a well-known company that has been successful since its inception. He works on the mainland and travels for work when needed. When he visits the mainland, he encounters a large number of individuals and attends numerous meetings.
He has done a lot for the family to get you where you are now. Both parents have wonderful jobs.
Dinner was delicious—steak with potatoes, salad, strawberries, and shrimp on the side. Because the weather was so wonderful, you ate dinner in the backyard under the lights that surrounded the entire area. The pool waterfall was turned on, as were the pool lights, to enhance ambiance.
You sat at the table for thirty minutes after eating, discussing everyone's day, recalling prior memories, and so on. Jasmine and you helped with putting dirty dishes away and bringing items into the house.
When you were done with that, you went upstairs to your room and changed into sweatpants and a tank top for the remainder of the night. Scarlett texted you, asking if you wanted to go for a drive and perhaps stop for some snacks. 
People were posting on social media about a bonfire on the beach; it did not appear to be anything huge, just a relaxing event. You didn't think much of it and preferred to hang out with your best friend instead.
"I'm going on a drive with Scarlett for a bit," you say as you go by your parents in the kitchen, holding a glass of wine. Before hugging your parents, you get some cold cold water from the fridge.
“Be safe please” your mom tells you.
"Long time no see" Scarlett sings, with the passenger window down and music playing in the background, "It's been eight hours since we last saw each other?" You both giggle as Scarlett drives out of your driveway.
You were about to open your mouth till your phone started to buzz. Your face frowns as you pull your phone from your sweatpant pocket.
Topper Thornton - rafe won't stop asking me about you 
Topper Thornton - so what i’m gonna ask is if i can give him your number?
Topper Thornton - or you can come to the bonfire right now by the beach and you two can get to know each other?
Your jaw drops from shock. You glance to Scarlett, who is already smirking and keeping her focus fixed on the road. When she continued urging you to go for a "drive" around figure eight, something itched in your gut.
She was bringing you to the bonfire.
"Did you already know about this?" giving her a suspicious look, leaning over to get a good look at her face, hoping she'll crack.
"Maybe I did, but I still want to go for a drive first," you say without hesitation, giving you the impression that she still wants to drive about first.
The two of you drove about Kildare for fifteen minutes before heading down to the beach where everyone else was. When you arrived at the beach, there were few people because cops had closed it off.
"Wanna grab some blankets? I have them in my trunk," Scarlet says, pointing to her trunk as she parks her car.
When you two arrived, your close friends seemed pleased to see you. You sat on the log with the blanket wrapped around you.
You scanned the area, looking for Rafe. Deep down, you were curious about why he was so interested in you and wanted to get to know you. He has a well-known reputation on the island. Perhaps there is something about him that will capture your attention.
"Hey, Y/N" Rafe's voice came into vision as you gazed off into the distance.
You shake your head, looking up to him with a cheerful grin, "Oh, hey there Rafe"
"Do you mind if I sit next to you?" He asks, pointing to the free space to your left.
"Yes of course."
Everything in your body was becoming agitated with a variety of emotions. You were unsure what these feelings meant, but you hoped they were positive.
Rafe gives a little sigh and rubs his hands down his thighs. You realize that he is about to say something.
"How are you feeling after last night?" He questions out of interest, scanning your expression, hoping you were not feeling uneasy. 
"I awoke with a little headache, but otherwise I felt okay. I'm generally good with my drinking, but sometimes it gets to me the next morning," you say with a chuckle.
"What about you?" You respond by asking.
"Pretty good, not too bad" he explains.
You nod, staring down at your lap, attempting to get the words out.
"I'm glad you came out tonight because I think you're very nice and I enjoy your company," Rafe says, staring at you.
"Also, you are pretty" he quickly adds.
The butterflies begin to gather in your stomach, and you conceal your face between your shoulders, facing the opposite side of Rafe, hoping he won't see your reaction, but the sound of his laugh said it all.
"I had no idea I was coming out here tonight, Scarlett nudged me into it, but I'm also glad I came out here tonight too, Rafe," you smile while softly pushing his shoulder.
"I like your company too and I think your cute too" you add.
For the next thirty minutes, Rafe and you get to know each other and discuss various topics. The way the conversation was going, you got the impression that you two will be hanging out one on one shortly without any friends around.
You two grabbed beers from the cooler further away from the fire pit then walked over where Scarlett and Topper were near the water.
"Glad to see you two finally join us," Topper says sarcastically, making the other guys laugh. 
"Haha, very funny, Top," Rafe says, rolling his eyes.
Scarlett approaches you, asking if the conversation went well; you give her two thumbs up, and she squeals discreetly so no one else notices.
It was getting close to your curfew, and your parents wanted you home by midnight. Scarlett and you were heading together to the trash can to throw out your drinks. Everyone else was collecting everything else.
You said your goodbyes to your friends before heading over to Rafe, who was standing near the hill that led to the cars. He smiles as you approach; he has a good smile, you think to yourself.
"Looks like we're splitting up again, huh?" you reply with a hint of disappointment.
"I don't think so, Y/N," Rafe says.
You look at him perplexed, but you know where the next question is going.
"How about I give you my phone number?" I'd like to get to know you better and hang out with you anytime next week when you're available. He respectfully asks, grinning cutely.
"Yes, you can give me your number and I would like that" you say with a grin.
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all i want taglist
@winterrrnight @lucky7rosie @bejeweledreverie @rachelivey333 @obxdude @upelchkin
➨ i have two separate tag-lists one for my regular fics and this tag-list if for this series. if you would like to be added to my regular tag-list, you can let me know in the comment section.
➨ welcome to my rafe series tag-list readers. if you aren't on my taglist and would like to be notified whenever i upload a chapter feel free to leave a comment in the comment section or hit that follow button with post notifications (works either way).
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sciderman · 3 days
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im so happy for you that you have a possible reason/cause for your brain itch!!!! i hope the tumor removal goes superduper smoothly. Do they know how long its been present/growing???????? how did you find out??? <- you obviously do not have to answer these personal medical questions lmao im just!!!! so curious and excited for you.
from what i've discussed with the docs it's been there for a LONG time... they say this sort of thing might take up to a decade to develop - it doesn't happen overnight!
i think i started noticing symptoms about maybe... 7 years ago? literally as soon as i started working full-time, maybe. my first job stressed me out so much and i cried underneath the tables at 8pm because i couldn't leave the office, i still had so much to do. i was leading up an entire ass animation department at 20 years old. bad. awful. that's when i started depending on things to get me through the day. my body started feeling awful. i thought it was anxiety, or me just being weak, i guess. i don't know if stress created the tumor, or the tumor created the stress - (well, it's the latter now) i think it's probably both, but all the research i've done and what the doctors have said is that there's just - some people with a genetic predisposition for it.
it's funny - i never miss a deadline, and i'm really really good at my job, always. i never let anyone down, ever, at the cost of my own sanity, and i seem to always, always have it put-together when i'm dealing with people - i have the constant consensus from everybody around me that i'm the most cheerful person to work with on this here planet earth - but apparently, my body was falling apart underneath it all - which i failed to recognise, because outwardly i was holding it together so well, and figured it was just normal to cry all the time when nobody was looking.
i started really noticing it after taking on a lot of freelance work on top of my day job – i was really doing very hot, and did these amazing projects for some really amazing clients who sought me out for being amazing (i am amazing) - but naturally, had consecutive nights of no sleep, and quick deadlines - and INVOICING... screams. and just, realised - after taking those jobs that - my heart did not stop pumping afterwards. my heart was still racing a mile a minute, even after all those jobs were done and dusted and ever-so-loved and appreciated by very happy clients. my heart. wouldn't. stop.
i figured it was MAJOR anxiety, and sought out some counselling sessions, hoping they'd help. i relayed my woes. i said i'm worried i'm not resting enough. i'm not sleeping enough. my heart rate won't go down. they said "oh. not everybody needs 8 hours sleep, don't worry about it. everyone's different." - for some reason that reassured me. i thought it was okay. okay. i don't need rest. maybe my body's just different and doesn't need rest. maybe that's why i wake up at 6am every morning without fail. i just don't need sleep, i guess. (bad advice.)
so – everyone is telling me i'm okay. i should just get on. you're barely sleeping? that's fine, you probably don't need it. your heart is pumping? that's healthy. your heart SHOULD pump, idiot. get back to work.
i felt very unhappy at work - i felt like i was stagnating - so i moved job, last year. i moved job to one that was so, so much more fast-paced. i thought the excitement and change would do me good - but i've been facing maybe - 3 deadlines a day? vs my previous one-deadline-a-month arrangement. and i think it broke me. i needed to depend on so many unhealthy habits to get me through the day. i needed like 6 energy drinks, 3 coffees, i'd have the shakes, i'd have the jitters, i'd feel like i was going to fall apart every single day.
and then, one day, i did.
one week last year i doubled over - my body was in so much pain that i couldn't sleep, i couldn't eat, and worst off - i couldn't work. it was the first time i'd taken sick leave - i couldn't function. after being on antibiotics that didn't work, i eventually went into the emergency room because i just couldn't sleep. i couldn't do anything. i didn't care if they put me down, i wanted the pain to end.
she was a kidney stone. her name was sharon (sharon stone) - i suspect it was all the energy drinks that made her. i've dealt with her now. but during the process, the doc pulled me aside, and he said "dear. do you have any pain in your other kidney?"
i said... no............... why?
doc said "ah. problem for another time."
so, once sharon was dealt with, obviously i had to chase up on that doctor's ominous warning. i said "WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY OTHER KIDNEY!!"
you have a tumor, dear. his name is lamar. he's on your right adrenal gland, and we suspect he's messing up all your hormones.
i did my own research, and turns out all these crazy, mysterious symptoms i've been having all line up - so i chased, and chased, and chased.
the doctors didn't take me seriously at first. because i guess i'm not in pain, and i handle it so well. i'm still so strong. i'm a fighter, i guess. whatever. but, turns out...
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it's worth it to chase. your life might depend on it. i'm so glad i did, because there's an end to my suffering (dear god, i hope) - but, guys, if your heart won't slow, and you chronically can't relax, and you feel like there are bees in your brain - that's the time to do some research. it isn't normal, actually. and sure - it might not be a tumor, but - kid, you need some support. you need some help. you need to ask some questions. it's not okay for that to be your baseline. your body needs to rest. it needs to rest. even if i have to force it to. it has to rest.
right now i'm in a major stressed way, and i broke down and cried. i'm in the middle of a freelance job, and in the middle of an interviewing process for a new full-time job, and still working my current full-time job with 3 deadlines a day, and my surgery is next week. and i feel like crying. all the time.
i can't wait for rest. i hate that i literally have to be hospitalised to get it. but, i'll get it. i'm going to rest so fucking hard.
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rongrii · 6 months
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While I'm at school have some pics of my smooth brained cat Chelsea
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littlecutiexox · 9 months
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Work is an absolute joke today
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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
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quibbs126 · 1 year
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Thank god today’s Thursday, my only non 8 AM day, meaning that my oversleeping won’t make me late
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bladling · 5 months
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Hate me all u want but I genuinely hate dogs. They r loud and smelly and too hyper and overwhelming. So fucking loud. Annoying ass creatures. And people think they can take their dog anywhere. I went into a restaurant and someone had a normal (not service dog) in the fucking restaurant and it was just so disgusting.
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hagravenholm · 9 months
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You know what that last post just made me realize? I fucking hate Sundays
#especially now. waking up to a whole day of free time and I’m broke and alone. yippee!#also no w**d. which is horrible.#:/ i want my medicine at least damn lol.#I’m probably just gonna go get ahead of some school work since that’s all my life consists of now is school and a job I can’t fucking stand#which I actually suspect is damaging my health.#since I clock in and work 7+ hours straight w no fucking breaks on this manual labor job#I take my coffee and a breakfast bar for work in the mornings and half the time I don’t even get time to finish eating or drinking my#fucking breakfast until after my shit is over 8 hours later#I want to cry. I’m sorry I know how it sounds. I just fucking hate this life I’m living sm now and a huge part of my can’t wait for it to#be absolutely over in any way. whether it be permanently or miraculous… I kinda don’t care at this point tbh#and one other thing it’s absolutely fucking hilarious to me and by that I mean it makes my blood fucking boil#hearing privileged assholes say just go to therapy hurr durr! jus go to da doctor!#motherfucking I am the working class I do no have health insurance.#not only that but I can’t afford it! lmfao like this is the way the system was set up#for people like me to work and work and work themselves to death but no one fucking gets this bc this country & older people are braindead#and lick the corpo boot clean and say the party line just work harder just go buy therapy forehead.#thanks! I’d actually love to. I’ve actually been wanting a therapist for years now.#people love to talk over me when I try to explain my material reality. it’s just a nightmare trying to get help in a system that so clearly#just wants to suck you dry to the bone for profit use up all your labor and destroy your body and leave YOU w nothing to show for it#but of course I’m just another crazy commie kid even tho I’m 27.#but no please continue everybody to shame me for not having access to therapy.#and isn’t it funny how the onus is just always on me. Like I’m so sorry that you all have to put up w my bad behavior lmao#as if I fucking knifed someone or something. as if I don’t try to apologize when I mess up. but no one EVER ever ever ever ever gives me#any fucking credit for that. for trying my best to fix mistakes I made. whatever.#I’m just complaining what else do I even have left
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gojoacedia · 14 days
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Mornings at UA w/ Katsuki Bakugo
It was a normal morning at the UA dorms, which means Katsuki Bakugo was up before everyone else due to falling asleep at 8 pm last night. It just so happened that you were up too, not being able to go back to sleep after waking up in a puddle of sweat from a night terror. You were still in your pajamas, thinking no one else would be up this early you didn’t change out of your fuzzy y2k PJ shorts that you got in middle school that you were too stubborn to throw out. Yea, they show practically your whole ass, but at least you're not in your underwear, right? You also wore a cropped tank top and no bra, again having no clue other people were up this early. Katsuki walked in on you reaching for one of the tallest shelves for a bowl and at that moment he had to stop walking to adjust his sweatpants. Your crop top was rolled up, showing how your back rolls stretched out to reach higher. Above your shorts, he could see a small hint of the fabric of your underwear and underneath your shorts he could see those beautiful stretch marks, showing off exactly where puberty hit you the best. He finally gained enough confidence to speak.
“You need help? You look a few too short,” Katsuki teased. The second you noticed he was there you crunched back into yourself like a turtle. ‘Did he just see my whole ass!?’ you thought while pulling your shorts down, unfortunately just showing off your underwear more. Katsuki was now at your side reaching up for the bowl you failed to grab. He brought down two bowls and took both of them to the fridge to see what he could make for breakfast. You were too embarrassed to say or do anything. ‘Did it get cold in here?’ You started to hunch your back as much as you could to prevent your nipples from showing through your shirt. Katsuki, of course, already noticed long before you did.
When Katsuki was done, he placed two bowls of omurice on the table and began to eat.
“Thank you,” you smiled at him, appreciating this soft side of him. The rest of breakfast you talked about his sleeping habits and eventually your nightmare. He would never admit it but he was already calculating how to get you to stay in his room so he could stop them.
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thatgirlie-diaries · 8 months
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Things I do to take care of myself
Inspired by @theambitiouswoman
Hello girlies! On this blog I'm going to write down all the habits I do to take care of my self. These ones I have been practicing them since a long time and I know they maintain me healthy, happy, balanced and stress free. I hope I can inspire you to discover the habits that make you feel your best and start doing some of the things I do!
My habits
Have a morning and night routine to follow
Sleep 8 hours on a consistent schedule
Eat at least one fruit a day, along three healthy meals and drink enough water
Pray when I wake up
Do yoga in the morning and meditate at night
Do my skincare 2 times daily (morning and night)
Have an "everything shower" 2x times per week
Listen to positive affirmations in the morning
Dress up pretty every time I'm going out
Listen a podcast daily
Read one chapter of a book daily
Dedicate one hour for introspective journaling and healing yoga + meditation 2xtimes per week
Use less than 4 hours my phone (15 minutes max on every social media app)
Unfollow any account that doesn't make me feel good with myself or consume content that doesn't inspire me
Study a language 30 minutes - 1 hour 3x times per week
Spend time with my loved ones during the week
Write down a journal entry before sleep
Be productive and focus on my tasks to be free the more time possible
Make a daily to-do list
Maintain my personal space clean
Take my daily supplements after breakfast
Look from time to time my vision boards
Dedicate time to prepare my meals and make lunch for university (instead of spending)
Keep track of my financial movementes
Focus on living in the present and be carefree about life
Smile, be kind and maintain the calm with people
On my free time do things I love ( like blogging, gaming, watch YT, etc)
Be mindful of all the sensorial stimulation (use less screens and earphones)
Respect when my body needs to rest
Have a optimistic mindset that works in my favor
Play with and take care of my pets (my happy pills)
Have a "Sunday reset" routine dedicated to deep cleaning, laundry, weekly review and planning, self-care, etc
See you on the next blog! 𑄽𑄺ྀ
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csuitebitches · 8 months
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How to Wake Up Early
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I always wanted to be one of those girls who would wake up early, go for a run and be super productive with their mornings. The issue is - i really love sleep. Every time i would start a routine, i would eventually fail. I would wake up to turn the alarm off, think to myself “5 mins more” and boom- it’s suddenly 8:30 am and i need to leave for work in less than 1 hour.
Two videos on YouTube really changed my mind. One was Andrew Huberman’s, and the other was Jihyo, a k-pop star.
I came across Andrew Huberman’s video about dopamine, and somehow, it helped me to understand why the difficulty waking up early is so important. Now I’m no expert of neuroscience, but let me explain to the best of my abilities.
Dopamine is essentially the build up to the reward; it is not the reward. It is the satisfaction and happiness you feel (when your body releases), after you have achieved something that was painful/ required you to struggle a bit. In order to receive this reward, you have to feel pain, because pain and satisfaction are directly related to each other. Satisfaction without pain is useless and does nothing for you essentially.
That got me wondering: for me, waking up early is difficult. It’s painful. I dont want to do it. But if I do it, its my first win of the day. It’s the first challenge I have overcome of that day, and I always do feel amazing after. The dopamine release after the struggle of waking up and winning the battle of not going back to sleep is definitely there. I feel more confident because a) I have done the “right” thing b) selfishly, i can do something so simple that a lot of people struggle with c) it weirdly makes me feel more confident and like I’m doing the first step of being an adult right.
Jihyo’s video was quite random - she did some show where it shows her daily life when she’s not working. Parts of it made me feel like she’s unable to just relax with herself (probably because her body and mind are so used to chaos, performing, her girl group living together for so many years) so she busies herself a lot. I took the positives from the video; she’s extremely disciplined which I admired, she gets her chores done, she’s good at ensuring that her space is truly her space.
So I decided to build a relatively foolproof routine; but mind you, it does require quite a bit of willpower.
I’ve developed a habit of waking of waking up at 5 am. I head straight for a 30-45 minute meditation and then at least an hour long workout. I stack my habits that way; right after meditation, I put on my running shoes. I used to really struggle with waking up, even if I had to wake up late. This is the strategy that worked me, see if it works for you.
1. Reset your space the night before
This makes you feel less stressed in the morning and also genuinely makes you feel like you have your shit together. Put your clothes away, keep your bag in its place, clean up your desk, reorganise your make up and skin care products. You’re going to go to sleep and wake up to a clean space.
Make sure you define both your bedtime and wake up time. My bedtime is 9:30 pm - so i manage my chores, reading, dinner, everything around that.
2. Early dinner
I’ve noticed that early dinners help me sleep better. I’ve built the habit of casually walking for 25-30 minutes post dinner (not right after eating, after about 15 mins). I’m not walking fast to a point where I’m sweating and puffing, I’m casually strolling outside. During this time, I don’t listen to music, interact with anyone or my phone. I use this time to connect with myself and think about whatever I feel like.
3. No devices before sleeping
I don’t want to stimulate myself before sleeping, so I prefer reading before bed. If you don’t like reading, you can instead do your skincare, maybe revise some physical study notes, etc.
4. Using Alarmy app
This app is torture and I swear by it. This little thing makes you a solve a challenge of your choice in order to make the alarm stop, like math problems, puzzles, etc. I chose 5 math problems.
5. Keep your phone across the room
Don’t charge it near your reach. Keep it as away from you as possible.
6. Stand for two minutes after shutting off the alarm
Don’t allow yourself to snooze, or go back to bed. This is the part that really requires you to tell yourself: “i am not going back to sleep. I’m going to wake up and do the things I have to do for my own benefit.” Remember - the states of heaven and hell are not outside of you, they’re inside you. They are mental states. You have to fight with your lazy demon and tell him/her/whoever that NO; we are NOT going back to bed.
I charge my phone across the room so that forces me to walk first thing in the morning. To stop myself from going back to sleep, after i have shut the alarm off, i just stand for 2 minutes. I dont sit, or go back to bed. I stand and tell myself, we’re doing this. We’re going to wake up and have an amazing day.
Your mind is like a child with tantrums and mood swings. Your rational self has to discipline your mind the way a parent would to a child.
7. Turn a small light on
Not something that is jarring or overwhelming, but enough to help you start waking up. I turn my phone’s flashlight on and keep it on my desk.
8. Be consistent, even on weekends
The biggest mistake you can make is not being consistent. Your body doesnt recognise weekends, your mind does. Your body doesn’t know that tomorrow is Monday, so its time to wake up early. By staying consistent (yes, I wake up at 5 am on weekends too), it allows my body to develop its own body clock and not wrecking the system I’ve kept in place.
What do I do if I have a late night?
It really depends. Let’s say I come home relatively early (+2 hours around my bedtime) around 11 pm, and im in bed by 11:30. I’ll wake up somewhere close to 5 am, like 6 am instead. The next day I ensure I’m in bed by the bedtime I’ve kept for myself and wake up at 5 am again.
If I come home really late, like 3 am - i keep my alarm exactly 8 hours from that time. I need to get sleep, but oversleeping is an issue and that wont allow me to wake up early the next day. I want to get enough sleep where im rested for the day, but not excessively. Unfortunately, sleeping so late would definitely mean that i wont be able to fall asleep at my dot 9:30 pm bedtime, but i turn the lights off and get ready to sleep by then anyway, and mentally prepare for my 5 am wake up call.
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A Year of You
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Hi guys!
This is a part 2 for "A Baby for Christmas" that I wrote months ago. It took me a long time to write because I wanted to have different ideas and not to write something to get over it.
So please enjoy this one ♥
December
Charlie being born on December 8, her first Christmas is naturally celebrated a little less than two weeks after her birth. It was normally up to you and Leah to throw the party, but Amanda seemed to think your daughter’s arrival gave you a valid excuse to skip your turn. It took a few years of adaptation, but you and Leah managed to find a twist between your two families, so that you could spend time with both of them. The Williamsons have invited your loved ones to come and celebrate with them several times, and that is the case today.
Usually you celebrate the 24th with Leah’s parents, her brother and girlfriend. On the 25th at noon with ALL Williamson and the 25th at night you are at your parents where you sleep and also spend the day after.
This year, however, to avoid complicated journeys, the two families are reunited and it suits you very well like that. You came home from the maternity ward after three nights, finding your bed and Leah’s arms to sleep with relief. Charlie is a rather calm child, it’s only when she is hungry that she gets angry and you don’t hesitate to tease Leah by pointing out that she already takes from her. She answered that if it was right, Charlie would only eat ham sandwich.
For sleep, she always has the rhythm of a newborn. That is, she falls asleep anywhere and anytime, waking up after four hours since her last meal. And since your daughter’s arrival in your lives, you’ve been wondering which dumbass invented the phrase "Sleeping like a baby" to mean you slept well.
"Is the most beautiful girl hungry?" coos Leah sitting next to you on the couch while you hold Charlie in your arms.
"No I'm okay, thank you" you answer with a sarcastic smile.
Leah laughs softly and puts a kiss on your cheek, although you had time to see a hint of guilt in her eyes. She nevertheless hands you the bottle that she has skillfully prepared for Charlie and you don't waste time before proposing it to her. She calms down quickly and you smile when you hear her gurgling with pleasure.
"I love you" Leah whispers to your ear, putting her two arms around your waist.
You leave Charlie’s face to look at your wife tenderly. With her elf headband and Christmas sweater, you find her particularly adorable. You answer her "I love you too" in the same way before kissing her tenderly, determined to enjoy a little of her. The world revolves around you, trying to digest the main course before tackling the army of desserts planned by your mother-in-law. Your parents are talking to Leah’s father about their last trip, the cousins have embarked on a game of Uno and the youngest enjoy the gifts they received.
"Oi, you just had a baby, maybe this is not the time to try to make another one"
The couch pops up next to Leah when her brother drops down next to her, interrupting your moment. If it amuses you, Leah gives him a cold glare.
"You better hurry up and make one, so my daughter has a cousin to play with."
January
Despite the fact that Alessia, Lia and Katie drove Leah to the maternity ward, none of them have had the chance to meet Charlie yet. It must be said that this little lady was born during the holidays, many people returned to their families. So, when Leah’s first practice of the year takes place, your decision to go surprise her and officially introduce Charlie to everyone was not hard to take.
Maybe a little helped too by the trouble Leah had leaving you both this morning. You almost had to throw her out, after promising to send her regular photos of Charlie.
"We’re here, Buba" you tell your daughter, using the nickname Leah gave her.
The baby has just eaten and slept almost all morning, so it’s relaxed and awake that she gets out of her car seat to get installed it in her stroller. With her fox onesie and her beanie with fox ears, you could eat her alive. Her eyes don’t leave your face when you go to the training field, the time of the lunch break being over since a few minutes.
Also, you didn’t expect to practically rush into Alessia who seems to be running to catch up. The shock of the almost collision passed, she gives you a big smile that gets even bigger when she realizes that you have Charlie with you. In two seconds she is leaning over the stroller.
"She’s so tiny" she whispers
You smile and look with amusement at your daughter looking at Alessia with a mixture of mistrust and skepticism.
"She inherited Leah’s glare and frown. It's kind of scary" mumble Alessia before getting up to look at you with hope. "Can I take her?"
You accept without hesitation, gently taking Charlie from her stroller to tender her to Alessia. You are perfectly confident, despite her chronic clumsiness you know that she will be very careful.
Alessia puts a kiss on Charlie’s cheek and looks at her smiling for a few minutes, before giving her back to you.
"Let’s go, we’re not gonna deprive Leah of a few extra seconds with you."
You follow her to the gym where the sports machines are, learning with joy that the girls will not return to the field until tomorrow. The training was adapted with the weather and it seems that snow is announced in the middle of the afternoon. You continue your chatter, until Alessia opens the door of the room.
"Late, Russo!"
You smile when you hear Leah’s voice sound, but Alessia is the first to speak again.
"I have a good excuse. Look who I’m bringing you"
Busy pedaling on a bike, Leah raises her head with curiosity, her face lighting up when seeing you. It only takes a few seconds for her to jump off her bike and join you, passing her arms around your waist to drop dozens of kisses all over your face, making you laugh.
"What are you doing here?"
"Charlie missed you" you maliciously pretexted.
"Ooooh is it right Buba? Did you miss me?"
Leah smiles softly and leans over the stroller, once again taking Charlie out to take her in her arms. She starts talking to her while rocking her. You smile softly, letting them have their moment and take the opportunity to greet the teammates of your blonde. After a few minutes they are all arguing about which one will have the chance to have Charlie first and you watch them do it while laughing softly.
You are not surprised to see Leah opting for Lia, the reassuring calm of the Swiss inspired as often trust. In the meantime, you’re sure of one thing, Charlie has an entire team to rely on in case of trouble.
February
Leah growls as she hears your daughter’s crying sound in the night, for what it seems to be the tenth time, turning on her stomach to hide her face in the pillow. For your part you sigh with despair, you have not even had time to fall asleep since her last awakening.
"What the hell is happening to her?"
Leah’s voice is muffled by the pillow and you rub your face as you get out of bed.
"I don’t know" you whisper, completely lost.
Usually, Charlie only wakes up once in the night to get a bottle, two if she ate not enough during the day. Which is more than reasonable for a three-month-old baby. But tonight, something doesn’t seem right and you don’t understand what. She ate well, had a good day and everything was fine yesterday. She fell asleep as usual except tonight, something’s wrong.
You checked her temperature, offered a bottle, water, changed her diaper several times and even undressed her from head to toe to make sure everything was okay. You had the misfortune of falling on the story of a baby who lost a toe because a hair had wrapped around it. Since then, you’ve been carefully examining Charlie’s ten toes several times a day.
Arriving in your daughter’s room, you take her out of her cradle once again to take her against you and rock her, installed on the armchair in her room. Like other times she finally calms down and looks at you at length with her blue eyes before finally letting herself go in sleep.
You realize you fell asleep too when you feel Charlie being gently removed from your arms. Your first reflex is to tighten her against you, but Leah’s whispered voice gently reassures you.
You watch her do it, dropping a kiss on Charlie’s forehead before turning to you to lift you from the chair and carry you a little bit the way she did with your daughter. Smiling tenderly, you put your arms around her neck and let her bring you back to your bed. She lies you on it and lies on you, her head in your neck.
"Don’t take this position for what it isn't, I’m too exhausted for anything to do with sex" Leah mutters against your skin.
You laugh softly, fondling her long blond hair tenderly.
"It was worth marrying a professional athlete" you point out by yawning.
"Tomorrow" answers Leah already half asleep.
"Sure"
You’re amused and close your eyes. Leah’s comforting warmth against you allows you to fall asleep faster than before and you are already almost gone when you hear your wife speak again.
"Love you"
"Love you more" you manage to whisper before sinking completely.
March
Becoming a parent has brought a lot of positive things into your life, you can’t say otherwise. Ever since Charlie was born, you’ve discovered a form of love you never knew existed. But you also have to admit that you miss spending quality time with Leah alone. So you took advantage of Leah’s birthday to ask your mother-in-law to look for your pretty princess for the night, to have the opportunity to offer Leah an evening.
Amanda obviously accepted without hesitation, idolizing her granddaughter. Leaving her at home wasn’t easy, however, especially for you. You never left Charlie for more than several hours, when Leah was looking at her for you to go for a medical appointment or a haircut.
"Will you let us know how it's going?" You whisper in Amanda’s ear saying goodbye, Leah covering Charlie’s laughing face with kisses next to you.
"Sure." Amanda smiles at you before fondly tapping your cheek. "Take good care of my daughter, I’ll take care of yours."
You can’t help but smile at her remark and you take a look in the direction of Leah and Charlie, to be once again invaded by a wave of love for the two human beings in front of you.
A few hours later, you enter the restaurant you booked. This is the first restaurant you shared with Leah and the smile on her face is enough to make you understand that she remembers it too.
"Very good choice of restaurant" teases Leah, once installed at your table.
"I thought it would be good to go back to basics"
Leah smiles and you thank the waiter who brings you the menu cards before taking your choice of drink. The beginning of the meal goes quietly, conversations passing from football to Charlie, to your work and the holidays you plan to do this summer.
"Do you remember what you said to me after our first date?" Leah suddenly asks while poking a French fry with her fork.
"Mmh?"
You have a full mouth and are therefore unable to give her an answer right away. Anyway, you have the impression that Leah wants to formulate the sentence herself.
"I’ve been warned of your flirtatious temper. I don’t want to be another scratch on your bedmarks. If you want something from me, it must be something serious."
You smile at that memory and Leah seems amused too. You quickly fell in love with the blonde, how could you have done otherwise anyway?
"You’ve been running your boat pretty well so far" you’re joking mischievously.
"And right after you threw yourself at me to kiss me"
That too, you remember perfectly well, obviously. Far from being calculated, this kiss had been intense. The first one you two shared.
"I was afraid you were less interested in me than I was in you. I wanted to leave you a little memory."
"By slamming the door of your apartment in my face right after?"
Leah’s face is laughing, amused at the thought of teasing you for your behavior. But you can’t blame her, you’re even laughing now.
"What do you want me to say? I just panicked."
Leah mixes her laughter with yours and you smile softly, still loving to hear her laugh. People sometimes define Leah as serious and narrow-minded, what she is. But she’s not just that. You love the gentle, relaxed, tender Leah.
"It didn’t prevent you from writing to me a little hour after actually" you point out while bowing an eyebrow.
"Contrary to what you seem to think, I’ve always been the most in love between the both of us"
Bowing your eyebrow at her, you point your fork in her direction. She is about to revive a long debate between you two. And her dirty kid's smile tells you she knows exactly what she’s doing.
"Don’t start here, Williamson."
Throughout the meal, you receive occasional news from Amanda to inform you of the evolution of Charlie’s evening. You received a photo of Charlie in her bath, a photo of Charlie with Amanda’s dog, a photo of Charlie with her uncle Jacob and a photo of Charlie deeply asleep in her bedroom at her grandmother. You’ve repeated several times that it’s not necessary to have a room made for Charlie at her place, but Amanda is as stubborn as Leah.
"Aren’t we going home?"
Leah’s surprise voice pulls you out of your thoughts, for once she’s the passager princess. You look at her quickly to stay focused on the road, smiling at her.
"Who do you think I am? It’s your birthday, we’re not going to end the evening with a chamomile in front of a soap opera"
You’re a little more relaxed than at the beginning of the evening, relieved to learn that Charlie fell asleep without being difficult to her grandmother. She has finally regained her sleep habits after a short spell.
"Where are we going?" Leah said, standing up on her seat and looking out, as if signs were going to give her the right answer.
You end up stopping your car at a palace in the Westminster district, in which you booked a suite with a balcony offering you a magnificent view of London. This is one of the few times you find yourself facing a silent Leah.
"What do you think?" you ask timidly after joining her on the balcony.
"I don’t know what I did to have the chance to have you in my life, but know that I don’t intend to let you escape one day" Leah whispers in response, putting her two arms around your waist to hold you tight.
"I really think that I'm the lucky one but never let me go" you mumble against her lips, passing your arm around her neck.
"Never let you go" she answers before kissing you hard, promise of a more than pleasant end of the evening.
April
The first time you took Charlie to see Leah play, it was primarily to support your wife who play today on her national team. To say that Charlie didn’t see much of the first half is an understatement, but she's now a great sleeper.
So that you can enjoy the game, your mother and Leah’s mother volunteered in turn to watch over Charlie who was peacefully napping inside the VIP corner, away from the cold in the bleachers. Awakened at halftime for her bottle, she is in your arms when Leah put the ball on the net, cheered whit the crowd around you. You gently take Charlie’s hand in yours and make her say hello to Leah who sends you a big smile.
Dressed in a panda jumpsuit on which you passed a jersey obviously flocked with Leah’s number and your last name, Charlie is particularly adorable. Well, you’re not impartial. But since you’ve had all the families of Leah’s teammates come to see Charlie, you don’t think you’re the only one who thinks so.
The game went great and the spring sun allows you not to be cold. You can’t tell what Charlie sees from the game, but her attention seems to be focused on the pitch. Even if sometimes she seems more attracted by the images that pass on the big screen. Charlie stays on your lap for the rest of the game and when the whistle rings to announce the end of the game, Leah goes straight to you.
"My Love" coos Leah taking Charlie in her arms immediately.
"Ouch. That hurts." you grumble in a low voice
Amanda next to you laughs and puts her arm around your shoulder. Leah gives you an apology smile while dropping kisses on Charlie’s cheeks making your daughter pat Leah’s cheeks. You can’t be angry for real obviously, especially when you feel your heart melt when you see the scene.
Leah is quickly joined by some of her teammates, Alessia at the top of the list. She’s taking Ella with her and you can see that Georgia isn’t following very far behind. If Charlie looks at Ella and Georgia with a scepticism that can only be linked to her genes, she smiles a big smile at Alessia.
"I’m her favorite" she proudly says, reaching out to Charlie.
Leah rolls her eyes and gently give her your daughter. Over time, Alessia seems to be more comfortable with Charlie. She developped a sweet spot for your daughter, asking you from time to time if she can join your afternoon stroll.
When Leah turns to you, you hurry to remove your smile from your face and look at her with an arch of an eyebrow.
"Are you sulking Williamson?" Leah mischievously pinched your ribs.
"Absolutely" you answer by wriggling to escape her attacks.
Leah smiles as you try to get away but doesn’t hesitate to put her arms around your waist to take you against her. You let it happen, of course. She understood that you're not really angry when you said you were. You smile in her arms, passing your arms around her neck.
"I’m proud of you, Lee" you say in the hollow of her ear.
You feel Leah’s smile against your skin and she puts a kiss in the hollow of your neck. The glance she throws at you and the caress on your cheek are largely enough to make you understand that you too are "Her Love". After releasing you, Leah turns to her mother and yours to exchange a few words. For your part, you turn towards Charlie who is still in Alessia’s arms.
"Beware the…" you begin, before Charlie grabs Ella’s hair in full hand to pull it, triggering Ella's cry of pain and Alessia's laughter. "…hair."
May
"Baby she's doing it again!"
Hiding your smile, you leave your work on your computer to go to Leah and Charlie in the kitchen. Your daughter started to eat vegetable puree and everything went great until Kyra came on time during Charlie's lunch and show her how to spit her food.
"I'm going to kill Kyra" Leah mumbles, giving you the little spoon and Charlie's vegetable.
"Alright but wash the carrots before, maybe" your smirk.
You hear Leah grunts before heading to the bathroom and you turn yourself in Charlie's direction. Arching an eyebrow, you look at your daughter with seriousness before pointing her with the plastic spoon.
"No spitting, baby Williamson!"
Charlie give your one of her toothy smile and you can't help yourself but smile too. She definitely have you wrapped around her little finger, but you still tries to set her boundaries and rules, not wanting Charlie to become one of those unbearable children who listens to nothing.
You carefully give her a spoon that she's swallow easily before opening her mouth again. You feel yourself relax as the spoon were eaten easily and some minutes after Leah is back in the kitchen with a new shirt.
"Thanks baby" she says, kissing your cheek before taking back the spoon and the bowl.
"You're welcome. Can I go back to my office now?"
"Yep" Leah says, popping the p of the word.
"Be wise with Mum, Baba" you say to your daughter before going in your office again.
After your pregnancy, you didn't start working again. It was to hard for you to leave Charlie for now, maybe you will start again after she start school. You had a long discussion with Leah about it, not wanting to be the one using the other's money. Leah was shocked that you thought that she can think about you that way, saying that she didn’t mind you taking care of your daughter for the first few months of her life.
In exchange, you offered to take care of all the administrative papers of your couple life and this is what you are currently working on.
At least you try, because five minutes later you clearly ear the characteristic sound of a baby spitting.
"What the... Charlie!"
June
You might have thought that having a child would take you and Leah away from your friends, but over the months you’ve found out that you were wrong. Charlie having the facility to sleep everywhere (you like to emphasize that she must take this from you), Leah and you have no difficulty in making her sleep anywhere and moving her without her waking up in her car seat, then in her bed. You know it can make some parents jealous, but it's your reality.
The proof again tonight, at the party organized by Viv and Beth at their home. Charlie is deeply asleep in her stroller, her cuddly llama tight against her, after taking her last bottle of the day. The temperature of the day allowed you to eat in the garden and this is still where you are. You rock Charlie’s stroller mechanically from time to time, despite the fact that Leah made you sit on her lap after the dessert.
"So when do you give us a second one?" asks Beth with a little a smirk.
"Clearly not right away" Leah replies immediately, making you smile.
It was a discussion you had a few weeks ago, to know if you wanted to have a second child and when. You were a little afraid to admit to Leah that you didn’t see yourself with a second child at the moment, but when Leah told you it was the same for her, you were very relieved. Charlie is adorable, easy and it’s a pleasure to have her by your side. But you want to enjoy it and honestly now that you have found a functioning that seems to suit to all three of you, you would be afraid that it would change if had a second child so quickly.
"Just make one yourself" you add with a mischievous smile.
Viv almost chokes on her drin, causing the amused laughters of the people around you.
"We have Myle, it’s going very well like this" Viv replies as Beth gives her little pats on the back.
"Did you just compare my baby princess to your dog or am I dreaming?" said Leah with a frown.
Feeling the argument getting ready when Beth in turn frowns and bends over to Leah to answer, Lia jumps on her legs and takes the blonde with her to help bring more water. Wise decision in your opinion and you mask your amused smile by laying a kiss on Leah’s cheek.
July
For your first summer family vacation, you and Leah decided to take off in the sun so that Leah could rest a little after a rather tiring season. You chose Spain and one of its islands. And the least you can say is that Charlie seems to acclimatize very well to the Spanish climate. Luckily for her, she doesn’t seem to have inherited Leah’s English skin, which is hard to tan.
You’re actually fighting with Charlie who hates sunscreen prodigiously and pushes your hands back every time you approach her face with it. She tolerates when you put it on her body, but on her face you have to arm yourself with patience. A distraction is however quickly brought by Leah, even if you would have done without it.
"What the hell are you doing with a giant inflatable llama?" you ask skeptically.
"He’s so handsome! And Charlie loves llamas"
That’s right. Her favorite to sleep is actually a soft, hairy llama that was given to her by Leah’s brother. You cowardly take advantage of Charlie’s distraction to quickly spread sunscreen on her face before letting her crawl to the llama. She skillfully climbs on it before sitting on it and applauding.
"See?" Leah smiled big before taking Charlie under one arm and the llama under the other.
"And where are you going?" you ask, with an amused smile.
"Having fun. Go back to your lame reading"
Leah pulls her tongue at you and you roll your eyes with an amused smile before sitting on the sun lounger decorated with sunscreen. But you don’t lie there, preferring to watch Charlie and Leah play in the water from afar. You make some photos and videos that you send to each of your mothers before deciding to join them.
The two blondes greet you with big smiles and you simply sit down next to her in the sand. It's impossible for you not to smile when you hear Charlie's laughter mixed with the laughter so recognizable and that you adore from Leah.
While you admire them both, you can’t help but wonder what you’ve done in your life to be so lucky. And you’re not just saying that because Leah’s swimsuit allows you to get a great view of her abs.
Your eyes are quickly intercepted by Leah, who addresses you her famous cocky smile.
"Haven’t you finished staring at me like that?"
"Never" you answer with a smile.
Leah laughs softly and you stand from the sand in which you sat, finally joining them in the water. One hand in Leah’s back, you kiss her. The blonde smiles tenderly, tightening against you but your moment is quickly interrupted by Charlie. Until then sitting on the llama, the little blonde seems to have suddenly decided to get on all fours and almost fall in the water.
"We’re going to have to work on your survival instinct, Baba" Leah says after preventing her from falling head first in the water.
September
Like every Sunday night, your meal consists of pizza since it's Leah’s cheating meal day. This lunch, also like every Sunday you don't have a football game, you went to eat at her parents' for the famous Sunday roast. When you got home, Charlie taking her last nap in the car, you bathed her before you ordered pizzas over the phone. Margarita for Leah and all cheese for you.
Meanwhile, Leah sat in the living room with Charlie and turned on the television to watch the Arsenal men’s football match. Dressed in her pajamas in the colors of Arsenal, Charlie is sitting next to her mat. Why sitting on something comfortable when you can have something cold? And she puts the shapes into her toy by lifting the plate rather than passing them through the holes, but nothing surprises you with this young lady anymore.
"Pizza orders" you tell Leah by sitting next to her
"Great baby" Leah says without leaving the screen.
You roll your eyes with a slight smile, watching Charlie continue to play. You enjoy watching your wife play with her teammates, but that’s not what made you want to watch other people play. Well, until you…
"Leah" you almost shout abruptly by grabbing her arm abruptly.
"What" jump the blonde.
You don’t answer, searching for your phone on the couch without leaving Charlie with your eyes. Leah quickly turns her gaze in the same direction as you, only to realize that Charlie has risen. And that she is walking.
Her first steps.
That you manage to immortalize with a "What the f…luff" from Leah in background. On the rest of the video, we see Charlie turning towards you with an interrogative look. But it's quickly erased by her big smile when you rush to take her in your arms.
December
"I can’t believe she’s already a year old" Leah whispers from behind you, her arms around your waist.
"I know" you sigh softly as you let yourself go against her.
You both watch Charlie sitting on the floor with Kyra and Alessia, playing with one of the toys she received as a gift. Even though she seems to have enjoyed the idea of tearing off the gift wrap more than anything else, the game finally seems to catch her attention.
You set up her first birthday party and probably exaggerated a bit about things, but Charlie seems to have enjoyed her day. Your close family was there, as were some of Leah’s teammates who eventually also play the role of aunties to Charlie.
Your daughter probably received too many gifts and seems to have taken a malignant pleasure in destroying the cake planned for the photo shoot. Photos you’ll cherish in a few months.
When you gently turn your face towards Leah to kiss her, you realize that tears are visible on her face.
"Are you crying?"
Well, maybe the question is stupid. Anyway, Leah is burying her face in the hollow of your neck before answering.
"No"
You smile softly, touched by your wife’s emotion. Leah’s breath is hot against your skin and it makes you shiver. Turning in her arms, you pass your arms around her.
"Come here, you big softy"
You lull her tenderly against you, happy that all the attention of others is on Charlie or on the remains of cakes that are still on their plates. If Leah likes to give an impression of mastery and distance in everyday life, her friends and family know that her sensitivity is one of her main characteristics.
"I love you" whispers Leah after a few seconds. "So much"
"I love you too" you smile tenderly.
When Leah pops her face out of your neck her eyes are dry but her cheeks still wet. You gently wipe them with your thumbs and kiss her tenderly, as you wanted to do at the base.
"And well done for the organization" Leah continues after your kiss. "That was perfect. Thanks for organizing that."
"Of course. But you helped me too"
Leah laughs at your amused smile. It’s true that she helped you a lot, especially when she learned that you had an appointment with a pastry chef to taste different mixes of tastes for Charlie’s birthday cake.
Your eyes turn to Charlie walking in your direction, leaving behind Alessia and Kyra who continue to play with her animal zoo. Since she took her first steps, the times you have seen her on all fours are counted on the fingers of the hand.
"Hi Baba" you smile as you lift her off the ground to take her in your arms.
You kiss her cheek and Charlie laughs when Leah does the same on the other side of her face.
"Photo!" cheerfully makes your mom when she appears suddenly in front of you.
You just have time to turn to her before your mother capture the moment. A photo that will end up enlarged above your television, then followed by many others when time will continue to offer you millions of other good moments and memories with them. All your life.
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softerglow · 11 months
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how to wake up earlier
sleep is a challenge for many people. after vacations or intensive projects or even a couple rounds of staying up late playing video games, we've all messed up our sleep schedules before. this is a guide on how to wake up earlier and get healthier sleep. please let me know if you'd like more posts like this. wishing love and prosperity to all <3
the night/day before:
choose a bedtime that's 9-10 hours before your wake up time. make sure you're in bed at this time. if you don't fall asleep immediately (which you won't, the first couple of times) read or journal until you feel sleepy.
turn your devices off or put them away at least 30 minutes (ideally 2 hours) before your bedtime. if you have any devices that stay on overnight, make sure they aren't within arms reach and notifications are turned off. if you're using your phone as an alarm make sure it's on the other side of your room, so that you have to walk to turn your alarm off in the morning.
make sure dinner is a light, satisfying meal. don't eat after dinner, as this can lead to acid reflux and interrupted sleep.
avoid caffeine and sugary drinks in the afternoon and evening. keep your caffeine intake under 400mg per day.
sleep with your curtains or blinds open. this will help adjust your circadian rhythm to the day/night cycle.
find a relaxing hobby you can do before bed. some ideas include crochet, knitting, reading, journaling or building puzzles. these are well known in helping with stress management and can help you unwind before you go to sleep.
create a relaxing night routine. make sure you feel clean and comfortable by the time you go to sleep.
make use of a lavender scent before you go to bed. whether it's a linen spray, incense, a candle or an oil diffuser. lavender is calming and can help you feel sleepy, especially if you learn to associate it with sleep.
in the morning:
get out of bed the second you wake up. you need to get up, turn off your alarm and stay out of bed.
make your first activity of the day one you enjoy. your skincare routine, cooking a nice breakfast, a warm shower or even sitting on the couch watching netflix is an option. there's no shame in what you choose to do first thing in the morning, even if it's not productive. if it gets you out of bed, it's the right choice.
expose yourself to sunlight as soon as possible in the morning. just 10 minutes could help your circadian rhythm adjust. if it's dark in the mornings because of the weather or the different seasons, turn your lights on.
other tips:
avoid pulling all-nighters or taking naps. staying up all night is bad for your health, full stop. lack of sleep weakens your immune system and ruins your focus during the day. taking naps regularly can impair the sleep schedule you've been working so hard to build. however, if you're really tired, a 20 minute nap is better than a cup of coffee.
make your mental health and stress management a priority. depression, anxiety and stress result in poor sleep. they can be managed with a well balanced lifestyle and professional intervention.
having a well balanced diet can improve your general health as well as your sleep. make sure you aren't skipping meals. have of each meal should be fruits and vegetables, a quarter grains (preferably wholegrain) and a quarter protein. eat as much variety as possible.
stay well hydrated. the common recommendation of 8 glasses a day is a good goal. staying hydrated can help you stay more alert during the day.
regular exercise can improve quality of sleep. exercise during the day if possible, but definitely not within 2 hours of your bedtime.
make a list of reasons why you want to wake up early. read this every night before you go to bed and first thing in the morning. make sure your reasons are important enough to motivate you.
if you're struggling to adjust to a new sleep schedule because your current sleep schedule is so far off, adjust your bed/wake times in 30 minute increments. this can make the adjustment more comfortable.
stay as consistent as possible. try to keep the habits you've built, even over vacations or exam seasons. discipline will eventually become a habit.
only drink in moderation, alcohol can do serious damage to your circadian rhythm. alcohol generally is bad for you and should not be overconsumed.
if you're having persistent issues with sleep, reach out to a doctor or a sleep specialist who can help you.
finally, be kind to yourself. you can't force yourself to sleep, and stressing about it will only make sleeping properly more difficult. change comes gradually, and you can achieve anything you set your mind to as long as you're consistent.
~*
i hope you're having a lovely day. if you have anymore tips for achieving a healthy sleep schedule, please let me know. i would love to hear it.
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smusherina · 23 days
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yard work - chapter 16 [final chapter] (regina george x reader)
fandom: Mean Girls (all media)
pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader
summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.
warning(s): talk of past drug use and withdrawal symptoms.
chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6 / chapter 7 / chapter 8 / chapter 9 / chapter 10 / chapter 11 / chapter 12 / chapter 13 / chapter 14 / chapter 15
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[love renée but fuck am i getting sick of this gif. been looking at it for sixteen goshdarned chapters. finally i am freed.]
You woke up first. Naturally. Every time, every single morning that you'd had sleepovers, you'd been the first to wake up. The sun was shining through the blinds in a pleasant, warm yellow tone. Still morning but not unreasonably early.
You shifted to a more upright position, looking down at the girl still snoozing, whose hand was holding onto your forearm. She was all sprawled out, starfished as much as one could be on a couch. Her body was taking up the shorter end of the L-shape, one knee curled up towards her body, just barely on the couch, while the other stretched well beyond the end of the divan. You were situated much the same, except the other way around. You laid on the longer end so that your heads had almost met in the corner.
Her arms reached out towards you, one around your pillow and the other holding onto you. You knew you'd fallen asleep with much more distance between you, but you couldn't say you minded her having drifted.
Did you, though? You sighed and grumbled as you got up. Might as well do something while you contemplated reality, or something. Mrs George had insisted on some classic American breakfast ingredients, such as bacon and pancake mix. You didn't feel like causing a fire hazard, so pancakes were a no-go, at least for now. Eggs and bacon you could do.
What did you even, like, want? Realistically, actually, no, unrealistically what did you want? There was no sense in trying to make your base wants and desires realistic because at that point was any of that yours anymore? Likely not.
You wanted nights spent with Regina, talking and eating take-out, laughing until your tummy hurt and looking at her glowing in the blue light of whatever Adult Swim show was on at the time. You wanted grocery trips with Mrs George and to go to Kylie's games. You wanted people at school to just, simply not be jerks. You wanted Janis to find peace. You wanted Cady to wake up.
You wanted yesterday to not have happened. You wanted Thanksgiving dinner at the Georges' to never have happened. You wanted for your dad to be different, for Mr George to be different. You wanted your mom to not have died.
Looking at the bacon sizzling in the pan, you chewed on your lips and thought about that. You wanted many things. So many things, mostly for things to not have happened or to have happened differently. It was all wildly unrealistic. You were not a wizard, a time-traveller, or some other mystic being. You were a teenager.
You cracked the eggs into the mix. God, it smelled divine. You pulled a salt and pepper shaker from the spice rack and sprinkled a reasonable amount on there. You groaned out loud and threw your head back when you remembered there was sriracha in the fridge. Mrs George had seen you eyeing the bottle and had not taken a no for an answer, despite your abundant protestations.
"Spare your kitchen utensils the horror and go masturbate in your room like a normal person!" Regina hollered from the living room.
"Oh! Spatula! Harder! Harder!" You cried, moaning like you were receiving the blowie of your life. "If you want breakfast you're gonna have to witness this sordid affair." You called back, giggling. You leaned back from the stove, bending back at the waist. Regina was leaning her chin on the armrest, still more or less sprawled on your couch. There was a pout on her lips and a light flush to her cheeks.
"I'll show you sordid, nerd." She grouched before getting up. You straightened your posture, turning back to the stove, and probed the eggs in the pan with the spatula with a satisfied grin on your face.
You wanted this and more, above all. Was that something you were allowed to want? More importantly, was that something you were allowed to ask for?
Regina came up behind you, hand coming to rest on the small of your back. You didn't jump, much, which you were proud of.
"Looks yummy." She pointed out.
You hummed in agreement. "Can you put toast in the toaster?"
"Sure."
Then, as if no time at all passed, you were sitting down. Then eating and chatting. There was toast, eggs and bacon, and you'd made yourself a bowl of oatmeal. Mrs George had splurged on some blueberries and local honey. Regina refused to make eye contact when you were chewing, citing that your O-face was hard to look at. You only moaned louder and made more faces at her.
Then, just as you were heading to the couch to digest the meal as god intended, lying down, Regina yanked you to the foyer. Still in your jammies and everything, she insisted you bundle up and go for that walk she was talking about yesterday.
You'd hoped she would've forgotten. Sure, the weather was nice for once but if you didn't have to go outside then why would you? It was below freezing!
Much like her mother, she would not budge. You were going on a walk.
"What am I? A dog?" You muttered as you wrapped your scarf around your neck.
"If you were a dog, you'd be a... A Doberman." She was already dressed. It was odd for your roles to have switched like this. Usually, you were the one waiting for her to get ready. She had on a thick, white parka and a cute beanie. She also had on black leggings sure to insulate absolutely nothing and bulky, also black, fur boots.
"What? 'Cause I'm big and scary?" You preened at that, smiling widely.
"Nope." She tilted her head, examining you. "Gloves."
"Geez, okay, mom." You grabbed some mittens from the hat rack. "Why Doberman?"
"They wouldn't look so scary if they didn't have their ears clipped, y'know?" She said. You just looked at her weirdly, not catching her meaning. Your ears were not clipped. "Anyway, let's go."
"Aye aye," With that, you were out of the door.
You walked the block and down to the street. The sidewalk stopped so you went by the side of the road. She was walking ahead of you. It was cold out but not too windy, so it didn't feel so bad.
The sidewalk started again eventually. There, you walked side by side. You were just looking at a bird perched on a wire when you felt her grab your hand. Thinking she had something to say, you turned to look at her. She was still facing forward, the other hand in her pocket, walking along. She was just holding your hand.
Oh. Oh. She was holding your hand. Out in public. Not a lot of people were out at this hour, not even cars since it was a weekend. There was a woman with a stroller. A psychopathic man out on a jog. A dog walker. Still, it was outside where anyone who walked by could see.
You arrived at the park, hands clasped together. You stopped by a bench.
"I don't think we should sit." You said, observing the coating of snow piled on top.
"Let's go over there." Regina pointed to a tree a little ways away.
You went obediently, following the tug of her hand in yours. She was holding your hand. You felt all warm in your chest, like you were full of warm water.
You stopped by the tree. She looked around, trying to spot if anybody was nearby. Then, like she had a secret to tell you, she motioned for you to bend down closer. You did. Her hand squeezed at your fingers as the other came up to your neck, pulling you down the rest of the way.
The warmth you'd felt became hot, like an oil fire erupting in the foil-covered saucepan that was your heart, kernels and half-popped popcorn sputtering out as she kissed you. Your eyes just barely got to shutter closed before she pulled away. Instinctively, your body so starved of affection and touch, you chased her and found her lips again.
She smiled against your mouth. It felt like a secret of the utmost importance being shared, like a pinkie finger wrapped around your own in the corner of the room during a sleepover, giggled promises and childish adoration. She tasted vaguely like breakfast, and maybe egg-breath should've been nasty, but it wasn't.
Cold seeping in, the anxious feeling like you were soon going to be caught taking hold, you pulled away. You didn't lean away entirely, crowding her against the tree. When you'd gotten so close, pinned her, you weren't sure.
"Do..." What were you supposed to say post-kiss? "Do you like it sloppy?"
"What?" Her brows furrowed and the smile on her face turned sharper. What to say post-kiss: Not That.
"Uh, I mean, I just- uh..." You swallowed. "I don't know how to, like, I don't have technique. I dunno. Was that good? I saw Aaron was doing it differently..."
Regina rolled her eyes, head thumping lightly against the tree as her neck lolled back. "You would bring up Aaron now." She sighed. "It's fine. It's- it's good."
"Okay." You swallowed again. A slow smile crept up to your face. "It was good?"
"Ugh, yes, shut up." She shoved you away, but you just allowed the momentum to swing you back to her. "I... I don't think I'm good at words."
You chuckled at that. "No, you're not." She glared. You shrugged. "But, hey, you know me. I'm Chatty Kathy."
"No," She huffed through her nose, seemingly in frustration. "I wish I could say to you what I mean. What I feel. But I just... It's... It's not supposed to be but it's embarrassing."
Looking at her, hunched in on herself like a girl her age was supposed to be at times, so different from how she was most of the time, made your chest feel tight. You figured a person having been raised like she was, having turned out the way she had, would find being vulnerable uncomfortable. Or, as she said it, embarrassing.
Then again, it wasn't your place nor your duty to psycho-analyze her.
"Reg, I..." You hesitated. "I'm tired of, like, sitting in the passenger seat while you bulldoze everyone. I'm tired of feeling like if I do something you don't like you'll push me under too." You pulled away from her, hands getting sore from leaning your weight against the rough bark. "And then there's this whole thing." You gestured around you at the empty park. "Even if we were the best couple ever in terms of, I dunno, vibes or something, we're still..."
"Lesbians." She finished for you. "I'm a lesbian, Jorts." A sentence you never thought you'd hear from Regina George. "I know. For me, it felt justified for a long time, keeping them in their place, but since we started talking again, doing all that stuff just started to seem... Unimportant. And stupid." She fiddled with her fingers, eyes glued to the space between you. "It hasn't gone away. I still want to, I guess, hurt people because it does make me feel better even if it's, like, fucked up. But I want something else more than I want that."
"What's that?" You couldn't help but ask, hope stuck in your throat. Choking hazard.
"You, obviously." She said it so flippantly as if those words didn't just send your heart into the Milky Way. "I want you. I'll stop doing that stuff for you. I know we can't be out yet, but I... I have good grades."
You looked at her, puzzled. She huffed and continued. "I'll go to college. Major in, uh, I dunno, some sorta politics and I'll change the law. Maybe a law degree would work better for that, actually." She seemed to think about it for a moment before returning to her point. "Whichever one would be best in getting gay marriage legalized."
"You..." You had to laugh at that, disbelieving as well as delighted. "You're gonna change the world for me?"
"If that's what it takes." She said, determination shining so bright it made your eyes water.
"Wow, okay." You licked your lips, trying to will the stupid grin off your face. You had some important questions still. "If I moved away, would you still stop?"
She paused at that. Took a moment to really look at you, like she hadn't considered that to be a real possibility.
"Yes." She sounded so sure you believed her. "I just don't have... What it takes anymore. I guess. I don't know if there's something wrong with me that I... I want to be mean, sometimes. It's funny. For me." She glanced down and then looked somewhere over your shoulder. "It took a lot of work to get to what Regina George is now. I don't want to put in all that next year."
"Y'know what they say. New year, new me." You quipped, looking down at her. You were quite sure your pupils had morphed into heart shapes, despite your valiant efforts to have this meaningful conversation without seeming like a love-drunk idiot.
(She kissed you. You kissed her. It was a beautiful morning, you were on a walk and you'd held hands and then you'd kissed under a barren willow tree. It was the first day of Christmas break and you were spending it with Regina George.)
"Does that mean I can be a raging bitch till January 1st?" She asked, eyebrow notching.
You laughed. "Only if you..." You bit your bottom lip, getting nervous. "Only if I get a kiss for every mean thing you say."
"Deal." She offered her hand to you, a cheesy smile on her face.
You pulled your glove off and spit on your hand, then made to take hers.
"Ew! That's disgusting!" She flinched away from you, violently shoving herself back against the tree. "Don't- no! Not near me! Don't touch me with that!"
She bolted and you ran after her, cackling maniacally. You waved your spat-on hand at her as you chased her around the park, her shrieking and you laughing.
"I'm serious, J!" She looked at you over her shoulder as she ran. "Stop chasing me!"
"Stop running away from me!"
"You're just gonna smear your spit on me, you- you fiend!"
"Pinky swear I won't!"
"I won't pinky-swear with your disgusting paws, you-"
With a yelp, Regina tripped over something, probably a root, and fell to the ground. You, having been closing in on her, put the brakes on, windmilled your arms, and tried to stop, but soon followed her into the snow.
"Ouf!" The breath wooshed out of her as you fell on her. She wheezed as you rolled off of her, half-heartedly punching in your direction. You giggled and dodged to the best of your ability, not even minding the snow seeping through your pyjama pants.
Giving some time for her to recover, you laid on your back and looked up at the sky. Clear blue with some thick, greyish clouds looming in the peripheral, morning was turning to day fast. Soon, the park would surely get some more traffic. Kids and their adults, mostly. There was a sizeable play area in the centre. You were pretty much on the outskirts of the park.
It was a familiar spot. You and the guys used to meet your other friends here all the time. Those times it'd been night, too dark to see the faces of the guys with big gym bags, filled to bursting with little plastic baggies and glass bottles.
You turned your head to look at her once her breathing had quieted down.
"You bitch," She hissed at you, the usual venom in her voice gone, replaced by exhaustion. You could only smile, somewhat sheepish but mostly just happy.
"It'd be a lot harder to resist if we were still in school, y'know." You said, turning back to watch the sky. "You can't change the law until we graduate. Until then, we're stuck here. And then, let's say you do change the law and it's passed, it's gonna take some time for people to accept that."
"Yeah," Regina agreed, folding her arms under her chin to lean on.
"And you can say that you'll change a hundred times easily, but actually doing it is different."
"When did you get so wise?"
"When I was all alone for years and did some stupid stuff."
"Like what?" You could tell she wouldn't be expecting what you said next. Even you weren't expecting it.
"You know how I sell drugs and alcohol, right? Where do you think I get the stuff from? I got to know some people while we weren't talking." You sighed. Remembering those times, the worst of them, still so fresh despite it having been years, wasn't nice. "Vandalism, underage drinking, shoplifting, driving without a licence... Did some harder drugs than weed... Stupid shit. I stopped most of it when I got caught the last time and almost went to juvie. Dad got me out, somehow. Probably threw money at people."
You turned your head to look at Regina. She was already paying keen attention to you. "I told my mandated therapist I was gonna change. I said I wasn't going to ever do anything like that ever again. I lied, of course."
"When did you actually stop, then?" She asked.
"Months after the mandated therapy was over." You put your hands in your pockets, getting cold. "I wanted to do it before then. I wanted to just, not be that. A druggie fifteen-year-old spraypainting some dilapidated trailer, hanging around guys that were way too old to be hanging around me. I didn't want to be that but at the same time being anything else was terrifying. I don't think highly of myself, but that was low even for me. Then, Mrs George found me one time."
"Mom?" The question was more out of shock than actual inquiry.
"Yeah." You blinked a couple of times. "I was in a bad state. Withdrawals. I made her promise she wouldn't tell my dad if I allowed her to take me home. She was talking the whole ride from downtown to mine, trying to keep me awake. I just lost it. I don't remember what I said or exactly what I did, but she had to pull over and restrain me." You gulped. "It was awful. Then she offered that I could mow your lawn for some money. I used it the first couple of times to get a new dose. She used to ask what I'd be spending it on and those times I had some bullshit excuse, but the first time I said I was probably gonna get some McDonalds', she cried. Cried real actual tears." You didn't feel like looking at Regina, but you could feel her eyes on the side of your head. "After that it just... It wasn't worth it."
"You never told me." Regina breathed out, still sounding shocked.
"I didn't want to." You turned onto your side, body facing her. "I was- am ashamed."
You didn't feel shame now, though. You undoubtedly would later, tomorrow perhaps, but not now. You were glad for it. You regretted it, wished you hadn't gone down that road, but lying there in the cold snow there was only indifference. That had happened. You had done that.
"Me too." She whispered. "Obviously, it's not the same, but-"
"I know what you mean. And it could be more similar than you think. Quitting an addiction is hard, but I wouldn't say quitting a behaviour is easy."
"It's stupid to compare drug addiction to being a bitch." Regina huffed, a frown on her face. "It's incomparable."
"Well, then let's not compare. Both can be hard in their own way without diminishing the other. What I'm trying to point out is that," You thought for a moment. "We're both trying to get over a bad, toxic habit that feels safe and good and like the only option, without seeing the merit or the other supposedly better option first. It's scary."
"Are you still trying to get over it?"
"I haven't been on drugs since, no. But it's not something that goes away. Not ever."
"And you're still kinda in it." She said, remembering your hustle around the school.
"Yeah. I can't expect you to be all buddy-buddy with everybody suddenly. That'd be hypocritical."
"So what do we do?"
What a question. One that you did not have the answer to. You didn't feel unsettled by the confusion. You hadn't told anyone of your dark past (gosh, could you be any more emo?) since those that knew had just kind of stumbled across it, so telling somebody felt... Good. You'd just sort of blurted it all out without thinking about it too much.
"Can we go back home? I wanna..." You stopped, realizing I wanna make out with you on the couch sounded awfully crude.
A lecherous grin spread Regina's cheeks. "Oh, I see. You just want me for my body."
"No!" You denied, indignant. "I would never."
"You would never want me for my body." She reiterated, purposefully misconstruing what you said. "Wow. Just wow."
"Regina, c'mon, I just mean..."
"Say what you were gonna say." She rolled away and up, towering above you with a twinkling smile pointed down at your prone body.
"Let's just go," You said and tried to get up. Like some bondage dominatrix, she pushed you back down with a shoe on your chest.
You hated how that sort of got to you. Your heart beat faster against her Ugg. Hopefully, she didn't feel it through the thick sole.
"Nuh-uh. Say it."
"I... I wanna make..." You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. "I wanna go home and make out with you on the couch."
"Oh, that wasn't so hard, now was it, baby? Let's go."
It was only once you'd made it back, chucked your wet clothes into the hamper, and spent a considerable amount of time in liplock, that either of you thought to circle back.
"Hey," Regina said, adjusting her weight to not be leaning on you so heavily. Your lips smacked apart and, gosh, now you were the gross ones. "I just now realized,"
"What are you realizing while you're supposed to be kissing me?" You pouted, falling onto your side and away from her. Your hand went over your eyes like you were a swooning maiden. Regina just patted your leg in mock consolation.
"You have your drug thing-" Only she would refer to your past addiction as your drug thing. "but I was, like, the only one doing anything actually wrong. Actively. You know what I mean." You craned your neck to look at her. Your double chin was probably epic.
"I lied to you by omission. I was really mean to you on Thanksgiving."
"Okay, lying by omission was bad and never do that again," She paused, waiting for you to affirm. You nodded solemnly. "But you were only mean after I was mean first. So, both forgiven. Anyway, I'm talking, like... I don't know how to say it."
You blinked. You didn't know what she meant so you couldn't really help. Regina huffed, nails scratching absent-mindedly on your calves.
"You made it sound like we were both wrong for how things exploded." She eventually said. "That was all me."
"I shouldn't have been such a doormat. I let you walk all over me and I never said anything about how I really felt."
"I don't think you can be in the wrong for that."
"I think I can be. At least the way that I was. I could've said something."
"And what would that've achieved? Me cutting you off and nothing changing?"
You clambered up to your elbows. "And now we're here." You smiled, one side a little crooked with how gleeful you were. "Look, we can hash everything out during the break, now just... Let's focus on other things."
Regina, still looking conflicted, caressed a hand up your leg. You shivered. You were in just a hoodie and loose briefs. Regina was more covered up than you, but still in just your old basketball shorts and a big band tee.
"Reggie, I'm getting used to asking for things I shouldn't want. Amuse me." You turned onto your back and hooked your legs around Regina. She fell forward, hands braced on either side of your torso. "Kiss me."
"I just don't want to mess up and have all this go away." She swallowed, a worried crease between her eyebrows.
"I think we're gonna mess up plenty of times. It's a possibility you'll find some justification to make somebody's life hell for a time. I could relapse." You pulled her closer with your legs, arms coming up to cross your fingers behind her neck. "A lot of the time we're not gonna want to admit it, we might not even know it. So, we can lay out a few... Promises, or something."
"Okay," Regina said, gazing down at you like you never imagined. Like you meant things to her. Important things.
"Promise me that you'll listen. Even if you disagree, please hear me out." She nodded seriously. "And, in turn, I promise to speak my mind. When I don't like something, or just like something, I'll say so." Again, she nodded. You loosened your hold on her neck and rubbed your thumbs on her cheeks. Getting to touch her like this, having her literally between your legs, was more than you ever thought you'd get.
Even if this ended in a similar fashion to the Thanksgiving kiss, or even much, much worse, you'd have regretted not taking the chance for the rest of your life.
"And... This is the most important one... Come closer."
Regina shifted closer, bending down, her elbows coming to rest next to your chest as she turned her ear towards you.
You whispered conspiratorially, like this was top-secret: "Still let me do your yard work."
Notes: Fucking christ. I wrote this all in one sitting. 4.3k words. That's like two chapters. I've written long chapters before, longer than this, but I got so used to the 2k on average pace that this felt huge.
Also! Don't be spooked by the [final chapter] marking! This is the last chapter in the story, yes, but we'll be hearing more from Reggie and Jorts still! I have a couple of epilogue sequences I want to write. Would y'all be interested in a poll as to what order those should be published? As in, chronological. Do we start from 10 Years Later... or something more like, idk, next summer? Lmk in the comments :)
This might be counterintuitive to add, and if my lovely amazing readers have exercised their reading comprehension during this series they might get why on a more nuanced level, revenge on Gretchen was left out purposefully. This will not be the last we hear of her, I have some plans for her in some of the epilogues, but yes. That plot point was left open on purpose.
The name. A lot of people like it! I was feeling insecure about my lack of foresight and impulsive naming, but hey, as it turns out it's not that deep! To add, it went really nicely with the end there I think :) No changes will be happening.
This note is getting so long. I just wanna thank everybody that's been along for the ride so far. I read every single comment and check my notifications way too often for new ones. I'm pretty used to writing for quite dead/inactive fandoms on AO3, and I love that site it's my origin, but it's very different to Tumblr. I just feel like people on here are much more open to sharing their thoughts. Everybody who's bore witness to my grief with the taglist, thank you for your patience. And thank you so much for wanting to be on it. I cannot believe people wanted that. For little ole me? Oh, you shouldn't have...
If there are spelling errors or grammatical weirdness, shhh. I'm not reading all that again at 1am. Toodles!
Taglist will be posted separately! Comment on that post if you want to be added to be notified when the epilogies are published!
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roosterforme · 3 months
Text
Always Ever Only You Part 32 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: You try to keep it together as much as you can in Annapolis, but that's easier said than done. Bradley realizes that while this week feels unbearable, a deployment would be much worse. And you cautiously tell Bradley there are two people you think should be the first ones to know about the baby.
Warnings: Swearing, adult language, pregnancy topics, angst, fluff
Length: 4100 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order. Always Ever Only You masterlist. Gorgeous banner by @mak-32
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Monday morning came way too early on the east coast, especially when you barely slept and couldn't stop throwing up. "Why?" you groaned from your spot on the floor next to the toilet. You had exactly three hours until you had to give your presentation at 10:00, but Cat was already texting you from her hotel room across the hallway about getting breakfast. You'd be lucky if you could stomach a single peanut butter cracker and squeeze yourself into your uniform on time. 
You crawled back out to the bedroom and rummaged in your suitcase for one of the ginger candies Bradley packed for you. It couldn't hurt at this point, so you shoved it in your mouth and pulled yourself up onto the bed. It was amazing that you could possibly feel this shitty. Your ribs and back hurt from constantly throwing up, and you were starting to feel dehydrated, but the idea of drinking something was too taxing to even consider.
"Why are you so mean?" you moaned as you rolled onto your side, letting your hand rest on your belly. "I actually love you, and you're being so mean to me all the time. Why?" You sucked on the candy and laughed. "You'll prefer your dad, I can already tell." 
You kind of wanted to call him, but you didn't want to wake him up at four in the morning, so you settled on trying to get dressed instead. It was amazing that you did nothing but throw up, yet you were still all bloated and puffy. Your khaki pants were a little too snug for comfort, but you had no other option at the moment. When you looked at your butt in the mirror, you shrugged. 
"Whatever," you whispered, buttoning your shirt as your stomach growled angrily. "Please, make up your mind," you begged your body as you heard a knock at your door. You pasted on a fake smile and opened it to reveal Cat Coleman looking like a million fucking dollars while you looked like a sewer rat. "Morning," you rasped.
Her eyes went a little wide as she pushed your door open. "Did you not get any sleep? You look awful."
You huffed out a breath, realizing you buttoned your shirt up wrong. "I'm fine," you muttered as you fixed it. "I'm just not quite ready to go yet."
"Yes, I gathered that much," she replied, eying you up and down. "Are you going to be able to present today? Because I can't do this without you."
You shot her a scathing look. "Of course I can present today. I'm fine. Great. Golden." You were in all honesty on the verge of throwing up again.
"Okay," she said with zero conviction. "Well, just knock on my door when you want to grab some breakfast and head over to the Naval Academy."
"Will do," you promised her. As soon as she was gone, you gagged into the toilet one more time before brushing your teeth and putting on enough makeup to hide the fact that it looked like you were going to fall over. 
You felt weak as you tried to eat a pack of crackers so your stomach had something in it. This was a lot easier when Bradley was with you, rubbing your back and holding a glass of cold water for you to take sips from. You moaned softly and fought against the tears. If you thought about him too long, you were going to cry. Or worse... start to get turned on. 
"I don't have time for this," you whined as you checked your phone. How was it already 8:00? Fuck, it was still too early to call Bradley, but now your mom and dad were both texting you to see if you were coming for dinner on Thursday. You knew you were going to have to invite Cat to come with you, since you only had one rental car. The idea of trying to get through the night with all of them was too much to consider at the moment. 
Ignore it. Ignore everything. That was all you could do. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Focus on the presentation. Focus on not throwing up. That was the key.
You knocked on Cat's door, and she opened it immediately, dragging the tub of equipment out into the hallway with her. "It's late, so I figured we would eat breakfast and then head right to the conference?"
"Sure," you replied, picking up one end of the tub. But it really was heavy, and you struggled to get it to the elevator with her. "I'm actually not that hungry, so we can just get whatever you want on the way."
Cat scoffed. "I wanted to eat at Waffle House. I miss Annapolis so much."
Just thinking about the sticky floors and smell of maple syrup was turning your stomach at the moment. "Maybe we can do that tomorrow morning instead? Since we don't have our second presentation until Wednesday?"
"Fine," Cat agreed, and the two of you took the bin out to the rental car. She offered to drive, and you let her. Apparently you fell asleep on the ten minute ride, and she had to wake you up to go through security. "They want your ID card to get through the gate," she said, shaking your shoulder. 
"Oh," you groaned, digging it out of your pocket and handing it to her. 
"Seriously, are you sure you're okay?" she whispered as the guards inspected the car.
"Just jetlag," you promised, resisting the urge to roll down the window and barf. "I'm totally fine. Let's get this show on the road."
-----------------------------
Bradley poked at his burrito bowl in the cafeteria. Even the green hot sauce wasn't helping his mood since you couldn't actually eat it right now. It was just making him sad. He'd written five pages in the notebook for the baby, but it just made him miss you more. He wondered what you were doing right now. Surely your presentation must be over, but he hadn't heard from you. Maybe you had already checked in with Bickel. Maybe he should go up and talk to your boss and see?
"Wow," Nat said, snapping her fingers in front of his face. "Focus, Rooster."
"I'm sorry," he replied, trying to give her his full attention. "What did you say?"
"I asked you three times if you wanted to go see the new Tom Cruise movie with me tonight. I have a coupon for a free large popcorn that's about to expire."
"Yes. Absolutely." He'd do anything to keep himself busy this week. "What time?"
"6:30. I'll pick you up so you can call your wife from the car and talk to her before she goes to sleep east coast time."
"Sounds good," he agreed, taking his phone out to let you know about his plans. After work, when he was eating a bowl of cereal for dinner, you finally wrote back. 
Baby Girl Bradshaw: The first presentation went pretty well. Have fun at the movie. I love you.
"That's it?" he asked Tramp after reading the message twice. Nat knocked on the door at the same time he called you. 
When you answered with a soft, "Roo," followed by a groan, he had to take a deep breath.
"You okay, Sweetheart?" he asked as he headed for the front door to let his friend in.
"No," you moaned. "I had a rough day. I feel disgusting, and now your voice is making me horny."
This was admittedly not the best time for phone sex. He paused as he said, "Nat just got here, but if you need me to cancel the movie plans, I can do that."
"No," you gasped, "don't cancel your plans. Go have fun. We can talk tomorrow."
He shook his head as he said, "I'd rather talk to you now. I'll cancel."
"No! We can talk now. Put me on speaker so I can say hi to Nat."
"Fine," he agreed, unlocking and opening his front door. Tramp made a run for Nat as Bradley tapped the icon for speakerphone and said, "My wife wants to say hi to you."
His best friend took the phone right out of his hand and had a full conversation with you while she rummaged through the refrigerator and helped herself to a seltzer. Bradley stood there as patiently as he could, simultaneously feeling annoyed that you were telling Nat all about your presentation while also feeling relieved that he remembered to hide the ultrasound photos. You and his friend laughed and laughed together, and then he started tapping his wrist to get her to move things along.
"We'll be late," he told Nat, and she rolled her eyes at him.
"Here's your husband back," she told you. "Have fun in Annapolis. Who knows, maybe you'll meet someone less annoying."
"Don't tell her that," Bradley said as he turned off speakerphone. "Don't listen to her, Sweetheart."
But you were just laughing now as he held the phone to his ear and followed Nat out to the driveway. He had to kick aside so much trash to get in her car, he was about to offer to drive instead, but she was already starting the engine. "This is fucking disgusting," he told her, covering the mouthpiece of his phone. "Clean your shit."
She just tore out of the driveway and said, "Talk to your wife before we get to the theater."
"Are you in the car?" you asked softly.
"Yeah. Unfortunately," he grunted. "Can you tell me about your presentation?"
"I nailed it even though I threw up so much this morning," you told him, but then you moaned. "Am I on speakerphone?" 
"No."
"Bradley! I am so fucking horny, Daddy!" Your voice was extra whiny, and the last thing Bradley wanted was an erection in front of his best friend, but he could hear in your voice how badly you needed him. "I was talking to Commander Patterson after my presentation, and I swear Roo, he asked me if Top Gun aviation was a good fit for me, and all I could think about was your cock the whole time. I even told him that things from Top Gun aviation are a really snug fit for me!"
Bradley felt his cheeks warm up. He had no idea who Commander Patterson was, but he said, "I think Top Gun aviation is the place for you, Sweetheart. Nothing else is gonna fit you quite right."
"Bradley!" you whined, and the sound went straight to his cock as Nat adjusted the air conditioner settings. "Fuck, you remember that time you fucked me in the back of our Bronco after I texted you dirty photos at dinner?"
"Yeah," he grunted, closing his eyes and actually trying not to think about it.
"Remember on our honeymoon when you finger fucked your cum into my pussy and then traced my tattoo?"
He growled out your first name. "I absolutely do, but I think perhaps we should talk about that later?"
"Yes, yes, you're right. I'm sorry. I'm going to get my vibrators out and listen to old voicemail messages you left for me so I can get off, okay? Have fun at the movie. I love you."
The call went dead right as Nat pulled into the parking lot, and the trash at Bradley's feet shifted as she went careening over a speed bump. He was trying to catch his breath. All he really wanted was a little more information about your presentation and to make sure you and the nugget were okay, but what he got was a semi that he was trying to keep at bay.
"If I get nachos and a soft pretzel and popcorn will you eat some?" she asked as she parked. 
"Yeah," he grunted as he unbuckled his seatbelt. 
"Listen," Nat said as she fixed her hair in the mirror. "I know you miss her, and rightfully so since she's way cooler than you, but if you just give me one word answers all night, it's going to piss me off."
"Sorry," he added, trying to remember how to talk. Right now you were possibly getting off while listening to old voicemail messages that you kept? Of him just talking to you? Jesus, why was that making him so hot?
Nat was glaring at him now. He needed to focus.
"I'm sorry. No more one word answers. Let's go. It's time for Tom Cruise."
-----------------------------
When you woke up on Tuesday, you were snuggled up and so warm, you reached for Bradley. "Roo?" But when you opened your eyes, you were met with the sterile looking hotel room through your blurry vision. Now you remembered talking to Nat and Bradley on the phone before masturbating and falling asleep. When you sat up in bed, you definitely didn't feel as awful as you expected. And when you eased yourself to standing, you were surprised that your stomach didn't lurch. 
You had one text message from your husband, and when you put your glasses on to read it, you laughed. 
Bradley Rooster Bradshaw <3 <3 <3: baby girl, i'm going to need you to describe in detail for me exactly how you got off. while listening to my voicemails? please, as much detail as you can. i hope you came hard thinking about me. i love you. the movie was good. i'll take you next week if you want.
You wrote back to tell him that you did in fact come while you listened to a long rambling voicemail he left you a few months ago about how he left the house without his shopping list and made it all the way to Costco before he realized it. "Your Daddy has a nice voice, little nugget," you whispered, pressing one gentle palm to your belly. 
It was 8:30, and you didn't have too much planned for the day other than breakfast at Waffle House with Cat. You had to give another presentation tomorrow, and you were excited to talk to some more superior officers afterwards. You were also supposed to make it to a cocktail hour this evening, but you were planning on ditching it and hoping Cat could network for both of you. It would be nearly impossible to avoid drinking without drawing attention to yourself when there were waiters walking around with flutes of champagne. 
You took a quick shower and got yourself ready, and you tapped on Cat's door. When she opened it, she eyed you skeptically. "You look so much better today. Everything okay?"
"I think it was just the jetlag," you told her smoothly. "Wanna go to Waffle House?"
"Hell yes," she replied, turning to grab her bag. "Hopefully we don't run into my ex or anyone I used to work with."
In all your morning sickness and preparation back in San Diego, you had forgotten that Cat also had roots in Maryland. "If we run into Mike, point him out to me. I'll punch him in the face."
She laughed. "I would personally love to see that."
You drove the rental car through the familiar town to the diner you'd been to many times with Cam when you were at the Naval Academy together. You snapped a picture to send to him before walking inside. Sure enough, the floors were sticky, but it smelled like strong coffee, and your stomach started growling. You silently prayed that whatever you ate managed to stay down, at least until you were alone again. 
"What are your plans for the rest of the day?" Cat asked you as you glanced at the menu, a little disappointed that they didn't have avocado toast. 
"I thought maybe I would take a nap at some point."
"Oh, that's actually a great idea. I might do that as well. I never get a full night of sleep when I'm home with Jeremiah."
You ordered a stack of pancakes and some bacon and then listened to Cat order the signature waffle. When the waitress wandered away, you asked, "Is Jake watching him this week?" with a little smirk. You already knew he was. Well, him and Hondo both were.
She played with the container of sugar and didn't meet your eyes as she said, "I think this week will make or break my relationship with Jake."
"Why?" you gasped. 
She was quiet for a moment as she glanced out the window. "He practically begged me to let him help watch Jeremiah. So he and Uncle Bernie are sharing duties. I just... know how my uncle feels about Jake. They clash, and none of it is really Jake's fault. I just need to make some decisions when we get back."
Your stomach lurched. "What kind of decisions?"
She shrugged and poked her silverware. "If they can't get along, then I'll have to decide if I can reasonably keep putting everyone through this. I'll likely never be able to afford my own place, and Bernie is the only family I still talk to. But Jake...." She had a dreamy look in her eyes as she said, "I wasn't expecting to ever fall in love again."
The only thing you could think to say was, "He loves Jeremiah."
She didn't humor you with a response. Instead she asked, "Are you planning on seeing your parents while we're here?"
"Yeah," you answered as the food arrived. "About that... you mind if I use the car on Thursday evening? You're more than welcome to join me, but they want me to have dinner with them at home."
"You can use the car all you want," she replied. "And I'll think about it. Thanks." As you were coating your food in syrup, she asked, "Weren't Bradley's parents from Maryland as well?"
"Virginia," you replied immediately. "They were both from the Norfolk area. Nick grew up closer to the beach, and Carole grew up in the city." As you took a bite of pancake, your stomach growled awkwardly, but a warm thought lit up in your mind. "Hey, so you wouldn't mind too much if I actually used the car today?"
--------------------------
Bradley was in the air all day on Tuesday, and he kept looking at his little collection of photos longingly. He had one of you from when the two of you were dating. You were mid laugh, face lit up, looking right at him. And then he had a wedding photo as well. It was the one the photographer took where the sun was just hitting the horizon behind you. And now he also had a little stack of ultrasound pictures to look at.
When his comms crackled to life, he tucked the photos away and got himself in position for some tactical dog fighting with Nat and Bob. Bradley loved flying, but more and more he had been considering what might come next for him. One day he could get injured or fail an eye exam. Then what? Other than being home with you and the nugget at that point, he didn't know what else the Navy could offer him.
"Tally, tally!" Bob called out, and Bradley easily dodged the attack. He knew he was good. He knew he was the right mix of cautious and impulsive. He had to be. But there also needed to be more, because if this week was teaching him anything, it was that too many long deployments away from his family would be unbearable. 
When he finally touched down on the runway at 2:30, he was hungry and thirsty, and Maverick dismissed him to the rec room along with Nat and Bob. When he checked his phone, he had a bunch of missed calls and texts from you. 
"Hey, you go ahead," he told them. "I'll be there in a minute."
"Alright," Bob replied, and Bradley watched them walk inside the tower while he read your most recent message. 
Baby Girl Bradshaw: I have a little surprise for you. Any chance you can facetime?
He had no idea what you could have in mind for him. A little surprise could be anything. Shit, it could be dirty. He glanced around before tucking himself up against the side of the building with his aviators perched on his nose. He dropped his helmet gently to the ground and ran his fingers through his sweaty hair as he called you. 
"Bradley!"
Your gorgeous face filled his phone screen, and he smiled immediately. "Hey, Sweetheart. You look pretty."
"Thank you. I feel good today."
"How's the nugget?"
You laughed. "As finicky as ever."
You were obviously outside somewhere, and the sky was cloudy behind you as you walked past some trees. "Where are you? And what's my surprise?"
You bit your lip and looked between the phone screen and something else before you knelt down on the ground. "I just had this silly idea earlier when I was eating breakfast." You tilted the phone away from your face, and then Bradley knew exactly where you were. "But I thought we could tell them the news together? Let them be the first to know?"
He pulled his sunglasses from his face and stared at his phone screen as tears blurred his vision. "Baby Girl," he gasped as he looked at his parents' gravesite. Both headstones were decorated with fresh flowers which you must have just placed there today, and you had tucked an ultrasound photo underneath a few pebbles as well.
"Do you want to tell them?" you asked, your voice just the softest whisper that made him ache even more. 
"Yeah," he managed to say as he fought to keep his composure as a tear slid down his cheek. "Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. That's not just my perfect wife sitting there with you. That's your grandchild, too."
He could hear you laughing and crying at the same time as you rearranged the pebbles. "Still just a nugget right now, but we'll bring him or her back again someday. Right, Roo?" you asked, turning the phone back to your gorgeous face. 
Bradley nodded as he sobbed. "Yeah," he rasped as you smiled at him and swiped at your own tears. "Of course. The three of us will come back together. We can have a picnic. Let the kiddo meet Grandma Carole and Grampy Goose."
"That sounds perfect."
"Hey, Sweetheart?" he managed as he cried. "I fucking love you so much. You know that, right?"
Your voice was still soft, and Bradley wanted to melt into it. "Yeah. I know."
He wiped his cheeks with the rough sleeve of his flight suit as he asked, "You really drove three and a half hours from Annapolis to the cemetery?"
You curled up on your side next to the ultrasound photo as you said, "Yeah. It seemed like a no-brainer. I thought they should be the first ones to know."
"Fuck." He had to fight for composure. "I would marry you a hundred times. A thousand times. I would marry you a million fucking times, Sweetheart."
You laughed softly. "I'd let you."
Those were some of the sweetest words Bradley had ever heard in his life, and you said them as you and the baby were curled up there with the memory of his mom and dad. He would literally never get over how perfect you really were. 
Then you popped up and groaned, "Oh no." And Bradley was treated to the vivid facetime experience of watching you run a few feet to your left before you threw up in the shrubs. 
"Take some deep breaths," he coaxed, just like he would if you were in the bathroom at home. "Do you have some water and the ginger candy with you?"
"In the rental car," you told him as you set your phone on the ground. "I was doing so well today, too."
He didn't want to say it, but he knew this meant the baby was nice and healthy. "Why don't you curl up with Carole again, Baby Girl. She told me she threw up non-stop when she was pregnant. I'm sure she can commiserate."
"Actually, I think I will," you told him when you picked up the phone once again. "I'm going to hang out with my in-laws a little longer. Have a chat about how much I adore their son. Maybe get their opinion on some baby names."
He laughed. "Don't let them talk you into Bradley Junior."
You shook your head adamantly. "I'd sooner allow you to name the nugget Bronco."
"Hell yes!" he cheered. "Bronco Bradshaw is still on the table."
You cradled your forehead in your hand, but you were smiling. "Get back to work while the nugget and I spend some time with your mom and dad."
"I love you more than life itself, Baby Girl."
----------------------------
She treats him so well. Fuck, this even made me tear up a little bit. Grandma Carole and Grampy Goose would have been the best. Next we will find out what kind of trouble awaits in Maryland. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls
PART 33
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460 notes · View notes
types of kisses the uppermoons would prefer from this list
cw: kissing, fluff, morning kisses, forehead, nose, cheek, neck, lip kisses, pda, pinning against wall, jealousy (if u squint), lap, slight suggestive (mostly in muzan and dōma’s part), slight ooc (especially for muzan but it’s my hc muzan in private that we should all be well acquainted with), simpery bc have you met me, manga spoilers for dōma
a/n: this has sat in my apple notes app for wayyyyyyyy too long now
the list (creds to a tumblr i forgot the name of i saved this a long time ago):
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Kibitsuji Muzan
5, 1, 4, 7, 10, 13
5 (in secret kiss): this is muzan we’re talking about. no way is he showing you his affection in public. i know i have my whole ‘softie in private™️’ muzan thing (really have to think of a better name), but key word: private. the day he shows affection in public is the day i stop liking kpop (jk i’ll never stop).
1 (good morning kiss): since muzan is a softie in private™️, he will gladly shower you with good morning kisses as soon as he wakes up. if you are asleep it does not matter, he’s waking you up.
4 (kiss on the neck): he’s a demon, who i believe has a side of him that’s very flirty and spicy. if you’re a human and you give consent, he’s kissing, biting, licking your neck and feeding off the blood from there. if you’re a demon, he’s still going to kiss, bite, lick, and suck your neck. he is not picky
7 (against a wall kiss): muzan + secretly very into steamy stuff + very dominant = muzan who loves a place where he can cage you in and watch you get flustered 
10 (jealous kiss): as an extraordinarily possessive person, muzan would get jealous A LOT. which leads to a lot of jealous kisses.
13 (lap kiss): especially when he’s jealous or horny. let’s be honest we all know he’d do this if you were an actual object of his affection.
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Kokushibo
3, 5, 7, 8
3 (kiss on the nose): let’s be honest, besides lip kisses, this is the only place on his face that you can kiss. his forehead is almost nonexistent and his cheeks are just eyes, unless you’d like to kiss those.
5 (in secret kiss): i feel like since kokushibo is so loyal to muzan, he wouldn’t want to kiss you in public since he’d either be in front of muzan or in the human world. besides, he’s more introverted and a demon so i don’t think he’s big on kisses in public for your reputation especially
7 (against a wall kiss): i don’t even know why, i just feel like he’d like to flex his height on you if you’re shorter than him (which is likely, he’s 190 cm/6’3”). since he’s so tall, why not flex the height while making it intimate?
8 (top of head kisses): again, on his head there are only so many places to kiss since you miss two facial features. he’d like kissing your head, but since he’s likely so much taller it makes him feel secret butterflies when you manage to kiss his head
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Dōma (istg i hate this man yall dōma simps better be glad im writing for him)
i’m tempted to include everything but i’ll just put: 4, 7, 10, 12, 13
4 (kiss on the neck): this guy is the most thirsty demon (second only to karaku obvi) and we all know it. he’d probably get grumpy if he couldn’t kiss ur neck at least 10 times a day (separately. the 20 something neck kisses he gave when you woke up only count as one).
7 (against a wall kiss): dōma is……… well it’s dōma, the same guy who says akaza might get stronger if he eats women, the same guy who wanted to make inosuke’s mother his wife, the same guy who forms a crush on the people he kills. using that logic he will gladly pin you up against the wall and kiss you until you’re essentially a tomato. he will not stop even then, he won’t stop unless a
pressing matter appears (aka nothing).
10 (jealous kiss): he gets jealous easily, so why not kiss you out of jealousy too?
12 (accidentally witnessed kiss): using the same logic as 7, he loves showing you off, unlike the previous two demons. he will “accidentally” leave the door wide open when he pins you on the bed and kisses the breath out of your lungs (a common occurrence) and sucks a lot of the blood right out of your veins (another common occurrence. did you ask/want/let him? i don’t know, but i doubt it. sorry)
13 (lap kiss): do i need to explain more? 
no. 
will i? 
yes.
this man… chances are he’s not keeping it in his pants for that one.
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Akaza (ITS THE BASKETBALL! *said with love*)
2, 8, 9, 13
2 (forehead kiss): since he actually has one (looking at you koku), he’s kissing yours and you’re kissing his. that’s how it’s going to work and chances are he’s going to be a blushing mess because he is weak to even a woman’s glance *watches him sip respect women juice*
8 (top of head kisses): idek why i just feel like he’d enjoy them.
9 (shy kiss): he’s shy boi with women. we all know this. when you two are in private and he’s not busy punching dōma’s face off (i love it when he does), he is with you. with you while somehow being shy even though ur dating
13 (lap kiss): he’s a respectful demon, so he’s not going to drink your blood, but he is going to act like it with the way he’s kissing your neck roughly
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Sekido
4, 6, 7, 10
4 (kiss on the neck): let’s be honest, his name means accumulated anger and he quite literally has anger written on his tongue, he’s being rough with his kissing and trying (and failing) to let off some steam. absolutely the roughest out of every uppermoon, if you thought muzan and dōma were biting a lot get ready to meet this guy. he will not stop until your neck is quite literally all red. props to you for not passing out, although you probably already did
6 (public kiss): he is angry in public, and he will kiss you to try and calm down (not like it works)
7 (against a wall kiss): probably pushes you a bit too hard since he doesn’t know his own strength.
10 (jealous kiss): i don’t think i need to explain, just look at 6
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Karaku
4, 7, 12, 13
4 (kiss on the neck): ……… if it’s not obvious i’m sorry for you. the kanji on his tongue is literally pleasure
7 (against a wall kiss): again, i don’t need to explain
12 (accidentally witnessed kiss): like with dōma, the kiss is only “accidentally” witnessed. he totally didn’t leave the door wide open as he pinned you up against the wall
13 (lap kiss): ………………………….. YES
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Aizetsu
5, 8, 9, 12
5 (in secret kiss): shyer than akaza 🥹! (he’s so precious im sry) every single time he kisses you it’s a shy kiss.
8 (top of head kisses): chances are he’s taller, so he kisses your head when he feels lonely. most of the time you’ll also be cuddling in bed
9 (shy kiss): just read 5
12 (accidentally witnessed kiss): unlike dōma and karaku, it is a genuine accident. he didn’t mean to leave the door open when he wanted to cuddle with you and shower you with kisses, he just did
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Urogi
1, 6, 7
1 (good morning kiss): loves these. more specifically, loves receiving these. he doesn’t necessarily need sleep, but when he does wind up falling asleep, it’s next to you. you’ll usually wake up before him and wake him up with the good morning kisses he adores so much
6 (public kiss): his name means sky joy and ur telling me he wouldn’t get so happy he starts making out with you in public? he also just likes lowkey showing you off
7 (against a wall kiss): signature move: gets so happy he pins you against a wall and makes out with you
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Gyutaro
2, 3, 4, 11
2 (forehead kiss), 3 (kiss on the nose), 4 (kiss on the neck): please give this poor man some love. he grew up only living for his sister and everyone else turning up their nose at him. forehead, nose, cheek, neck, everything kisses are a must
11 (first kiss): your first kiss with him was magical, whether it was also your first kiss is up to you, but it was definitely his and he relished in every moment of it.
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