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#they're going to lose a lot of players
gnaga37 · 5 months
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minecraft exp that drops if you die being capped at 7 levels is so stupid i hate it so much. what do you mean that from my 600+ levels I only get 7 back? I should at least get to lvl 30 minimum
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mori-no-majou · 1 year
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‘nooo they can’t make an animated zelda movie! if they make a zelda movie it needs to be live action!’ biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you BITING YOU BIT
#urusai majou#it's the videogame equivalent of 'lord of the rings would be better if it was more like game of thrones'#for the record though zelda is something I don't think could ever be adapted into a movie regardless of medium#and I'm saying that as someone who was genuinely charmed by the mario movie#I think the difference is that the mario games have a very consistent identity so like. there's a clear list of criteria there#just make it cute and colourful and not ashamed of what it is and you're golden#zelda on the other hand is a lot more personal. it's a story you're specifically supposed to insert yourself into#everyone has a different idea of who link is#it's telling that the internet can't even agree on whether or not link should have verbal dialogue. much less how he'd sound if he did#adapting it into a movie would naturally mean losing that in favour of one fixed canon version of link#which eiji aonuma has specifically said several times he doesn't want#so like. yeah somehow I'm not altogether sure there is anything to the rumours tbh#and as far as live action nintendo adaptations in general go. have you Looked at the art styles for any of these games#literally the only nintendo ips that wouldn't look straight up weird in live action are metroid and Maybe fire emblem#but again. only if it was shadow dragon or the tellius games#anything else and you'd run into the same issue of steamrolling players' choices with a fixed canon#uhg idk. ultimately it all boils down to the mentality currently floating around that live action movies are the zenith of art#and they're just. not#sometimes the ideal medium for a story is the one it was originally written in#and zelda is definitely one of those things tbh
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Posting this not to say don't support the strike, but more to remind people on Tumblr that saying "strikes are supposed to be disruptive" doesn't just mean fans are going to have to deal with not getting more of their favorite tv show or it being delayed, it also means that the rest of us who work in this industry are out of work right now and have no idea when it will return.
I think this sums my feelings up perfectly: "They should get the money they deserve for their work, but it's not going to affect us [below-the-line crew]. In the end they are going to get their deal. But we are going to be in probably about $20,000 to $30,000 debt," Bunch said. "I would love to feel a little bit like, you know, we care about you, and we know that you guys have gone through hell."
It's not that I don't support the writers 100% and want them to have full support (I do!), it's more that there has been a particular attitude on Tumblr surrounding the strike that forgets to consider below the line crew in the equation at all and has been increasingly getting on my nerves.
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corvigae · 2 years
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Not to be unnecessarily negative, but the amount of faith I have in TS4 actually pulling off Generations well is astronomically low.
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hugintheraven · 11 months
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How Bethesda fixed Vampires without realizing it
So there's a LOT of takes on vampires across media, and most of them are radically different from each other. The Elder Scrolls series has an interesting version that I haven't seen anywhere else, that incidentally fixes a bunch of lore issues with vampires, and yet Bethesda hasn't ever really leaned into any of that.
So, the issue with vampires in large RPGs like Elder Scrolls games, D&D, etc, is that a world where various elements of character building are supposed to be balanced, vampires are heavy on the upside and light on meaningful drawbacks. So in Oblivion, Bethesda completely reworked their vampires, coming at it with a blank slate:
Vampirism is a 4-stage affliction, with each stage increasing the numerous benefits of being a vampire as well as the middling drawbacks. Stage 4 brings with it all humanoid NPCs recognizing you as a ravenous monster and attacking you, basically wrecking the game. And, this is the unique part, you reduce stages by drinking blood. Being a vampire is LESSENED by doing the most vampiric thing out there, it actively makes you weaker.
And this is great. From a gameplay perspective, you vanish below ground to kill zombies/robots/whatever, and you grow stronger as the dungeon goes on. But if you don't rush through it, or if it's large, you surface having ignored your hunger for several days and have to do a whole second quest to sneak into town at night and drink blood, where the only reward is to engage with the game again. It's a drawback in the gameplay sense rather than the stats sense. And it lets game designers throw the player against weak vampires in town early on, and face dungeons full of max-bloodlust monsters later once the player knows how things work.
Meanwhile, from a lore perspective this is also great. Suddenly, it's not that vampires have to be evil, it's that they have a choice. A good person who flees their family to hide in a cave is going to starve, turning into a ravenous, uncontrolled, extremely strong monster. Someone who's comfortable sneaking around town drinking blood, meanwhile? They never lose control. They walk in the sun. They're perfectly human. Or as human as anyone can be while the blood of their neighbors flows in their veins.
And Bethesda doesn't DO ANYTHING with this. People you talk to in-game just treat it as "all vampires are evil, why would you expect anything else", when they've created a world where vampire morality is so much more interesting. The few vampires who exist in civilization that you're not supposed to kill don't really discuss their condition at all. And there's plenty of evil vampires choosing to live in caves running societies of vampires, when that makes no sense compared to basically any other way of life they could set up.
Bethesda games are a masterful disaster, in this as in everything else.
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astonmartinii · 5 months
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i love him, it's ruining my life [guilty as sin part one] | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x fem sainz!reader
a contract ends, a relationship is exposed and even with everything on the line, she still loves him.
MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 621,099 others
yourusername: out and about town
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user1: girl? girl? GIRL?
user2: carlos' career is DEAD AND SHE'S POSTING VACATION PICS ON INSTAGRAM
user3: at least they're cute instagram pics
landonorris: y/n i think it's time you finally take that phone off of do not disturb
yourusername: but that's the perpetual state of my phone i am a poet i was born to be in the woods, if you have news tell me now before i close this app in 20 seconds
landonorris: i don't want to air your brother's business out in a public instagram comments literally just scroll through your timeline idiot
yourusername: wait let me open the family group chat
yourusername: WHAT
user4: are we about to see her reaction to carlos losing his seat in real time?
user5: let me grab my popcorn one sec
yourusername: WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?
landonorris: take your phone off DND for once in your life and maybe you’d be clued in on the news
charles_leclerc: and while you’re at it reply to all the tiktoks i sent you
landonorris: not the time leclerc
charles_leclerc: but but but my tiktoks… i finally got a tarot card reading that resonates
landonorris: NOT THE TIME
charles_leclerc: don’t hate the player hate the game
carlossainz55: really?
charles_leclerc: i am TALKING ABOUT TIKTOKS LEAVE ME ALONE
yourusername: this is a lot - gosh can’t a girl go on holiday without everything imploding (i'll check the tiktoks in a second)
user6: anyone kinda weirded out that charles is just here joking with y/n as if his teammate and her brother hasn’t just been forced out of a job?
liked by carlossainz55
user7: babe he wasn’t forced out of a job, his contract wasn’t renewed. the last time i checked this was a sport where they compete not sit around and sit kumbaya
liked by charles_leclerc
user8: oh! they’re both liking shady comments already, it’s been a day since the announcement
user9: this is gonna get ugly isn’t it?
user10: awful, truly. i’m sat.
carlossainz55
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liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 1,029,458 others
carlossainz55: love all, trust a few and do wrong to none
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user11: .... right, what ever the fuck that means?
user12: i mean i was just here to celebrate the win what is all this poetry
user11: are we shading charles? lewis? ferrari?
yourusername: shakespeare, really?
carlossainz55: i can read you know
yourusername: oh really, that's news to me
user13: erm you guys i thought the whole job loss thing was meant to bring the family together....
user14: they joke like this all the time this is just sibling banter
user15: idk it's reading a lil more tense than usual, not that there's any reason for that (that we know of)
charles_leclerc: doing the tifosi proud ❤️
carlossainz55: will do while i can
user16: yall .... what happened to the chemistry
user17: they were never friends - pierre tried to tell yall
landonorris: a carlando podium !!! lets do this every week
carlossainz55: golf buddies and podium buddies - you love to see it
landonorris: LETS GO WILD AND PUT IT ON FERRARIS TAB THEY OWE YOU
landonorris: i mean let's celebrate your triumph good pal!
user18: the PR monster got lando :( rip
carlossainz55: just being able to win in front of the most important people in my life is enough
user19: does anyone else think it was weird that y/n wasn't at the race?
user20: like y/n loves australia she litr says that she was an aussie in a past life...
user21: also the most recent carlos comment... is y/n not one of the most important people in his life?
user22: do we think something has happened? like maybe he thought she should've cut her holiday short to come home to support him?
user23: also the fact that her and charles were immediately like joking around with each other? maybe it just rubbed him the wrong way
user24: but not even considering her an important person to him? and also that just seems like he's shifting all the blame to charles when it's ferrari who haven't extended the contract
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maxverstappen1
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liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 892,309 others
tagged: kellypiquet & yourusername
maxverstappen1: she says she's a professional third wheel, i call that being a LEECH
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user29: unlikely trio but somehow my favourite
user30: y/n really be their overgrown child
yourusername: how am i the leech when i paid for the ice cream mr millionaire 🤨
maxverstappen1: ever thought about how i want to spend quality time with my girlfriend?
yourusername: won't someone think of the children
maxverstappen1: ur 23
yourusername: that's it! p and i are unionising against this if you find suspiciously well drawn crayon graffiti on your walls it was NOT me
maxverstappen1: don't threaten my walls if you still want to come to races
yourusername: low blow 😩
user31: does that mean... she's not going to races with carlos?
user32: she's always been in his garage tho like even with how close her and max have always been SHE'S ALWAYS IN GARAGE 55
user33: i feel like this has something to do with the whole seat situation i'm not sure how but like i think there's something weird going on here
kellypiquet: don't worry @yourusername it might be max's house but it's p that has the final say
yourusername: no one gets bluey like i do
maxverstappen1: yeah but while you're here you get the best seat at the tea party IT'S NOT FAIR
yourusername: well one of us can name all the disney princesses and one of us can't
user34: so.... y/n is living with max? but i thought her and carlos shared an apartment in madrid?
user35: guys i'm so confused
user36: we need the twitter detectives on this asap
charles_leclerc: no lec... when i specifically sent you a PR bundle, you hate to see it
maxverstappen1: you only sent that to us for y/n
charles_leclerc: maybe! but i have it on good authority that you loved the vanilla
maxverstappen1: ummmmmmm no i'm a professional athlete, y/n ate all of it
yourusernames: FALSEHOODS
charles_leclerc: i know who i believe
maxverstappen1: why is everyone ganging up on me in this comment section
user37: charles sending lec to max's house just for y/n WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN
user38: and does it have anything to do with carlos maybe kicking her out
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 673,892 others
yourusername: gotta make sure i give p a reason to tell me stick around
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user39: charles is always in the likes before me and i have notifications on
user40: they seem like such close friends it's so annoying that they're never spotted together at a race and we have no pictures of them :(
charles_leclerc: why do i never get any baked goods i literally sent my ice cream to my arch rivals house just for you
yourusername: you're never in the fucking country that's why
charles_leclerc: i have this kind of demanding job i don't know if you knew
yourusername: i also have the demanding job of being sexy and i cope just fine
charles_leclerc: i heard you got employee of the year, hard to be too upset when you're the competition
yourusername: better luck next time babe
user41: openly flirting with the guy that caused her brother to lose his job, this girl is just shameless
yourusername: do you think charles is the literal ceo of ferrari?
user42: why are you defending charles more than your actual brother?
yourusername: i feel like i gotta make this statement every three buisness days on here but like you people don't know what happens in our personal lives and i can defend my friends if i feel they're being unnecessarily questioned
user43: queen snapped omg
user38: they always be out here trying her like she's not a writer and poet SHE WILL READ YOU FOR FILTH
maxverstappen1: pretty sure she'd replace you with me in like two seconds so you're safe until [redacted] gets home
yourusername: i'm pretty sure with the right campaign i could sway jimmy and sassy to my side as well
user44: who the FUCK IS REDACTED
maxverstappen1: wouldn't you like to know 🤨
yourusername: max ???
maxverstappen1: what? i didn't have friends growing up i like that you tell me secrets
yourusername: oh :(
maxverstappen1: you wanna tell me more?
yourusername: NO YOU ALREADY KNOW THE BIGGEST ONE
maxverstappen1: true 💅🏻
user45: so like the secret is defo a relationship right?
user46: do we think carlos knows?
user47: by the fact that he's not in these comments... probably not
user48: so like he looses his seat and finds out his sister is in a secret relationship? someone give the guy a break
user49: or maybe, just maybe, there's a reason that y/n hasn't told carlos and he's not the guy we all think he is
liked by charles_leclerc
user50: OH? this war is so on ....
f1teaspill
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liked by user51, user52 and 31,845 others
tagged: yourusername & charles_leclerc
f1teaspill: the war at ferrari is heating up... turns out there's a lot carlos didn't know and FOR YEARS. yes, you're reading that right, y/n sainz and charles leclerc have been in a relationship for at least two years and believe us we have a VERY credible source like WITHIN THE FAMILY level source.
the most important thing about this whole relationship is how carlos did not know for years, so how much more was hidden from him? did y/n know about the seat swap for lewis? was she leaking strategies to charles? was she sabotaging her own brother?
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user53: OH SHITTTTTTTTTT
user54: cancel me if you will but i think the hottest couple in f1 just dropped
user55: the fact we've been robbed of content of them for years .... i'm angry I NEED THE POETRY ABOUT CHARLES
user56: i'm gonna need y/n or charles to drop all the pics in response
user57: y'all a source "within the family"? did these fools find out about y/n's relationship and immediately run to an f1 TEA PAGE???
user58: that's some goofy ass shit
user59: i find it funny that instead of sitting down and thinking about why their daughter/sister didn't feel comfortable enough to tell you about her relationship they're like i know EXACTLY who needs to hear this
user60: the way it's proved her completely right to not tell them
user61: do you guys think this is like a tv show or like fan fiction? in what world is y/n sharing strategies to fuck over her own BROTHER?
user62: also be for fucking real... strategies? ferrari? at least try and be realistic
user63: also.... walk with me .... why would y/n and charles conspire to put lewis hamilton in carlos' seat? LEWIS FUCKING HAMILTON AND SEVEN TIME WORLD CHAMPION? WHY WOULD CHARLES WANT TO TAKE HIM ON OVER A GUY HE'S ALREADY BEATEN TWICE
user64: see this is the point! sainz camp you can try and demonise charles and yOUR OWN DAUGHTER all you want but we all know it's bull shit
user65: one thing about this that really rubs me the wrong way is that the sainz camp clearly expected that if y/n was in a relationship with charles that she would've been a double agent for carlos? and because she's not fucking insane they're now going for character assassination of their own SISTER/DAUGHTER
user66: THIS THIS THIS
user67: carlos won't even consider y/n an "important" person in his life but expect her to sacrifice or exploit her relationship for cheap psychological points
user68: also y/n isn't even at most races so how is she getting carlos' strategies to give to charles? this shit doesn't make any sense
user69: carlos himself has said in an interview that y/n is useless when it comes to racing that she's just a supportive figure rather than someone who has any in depth racing knowledge
user70: this is insane level hating with all the evidence out here... and against your own family...
user71: this just makes me think that y/n wasn't in australia for a reason - like was she banned from carlos' garage
user72: and the fact she's been staying at max's it just makes me think that y/n was kicked out of her and carlos' apartment
user73: now tHATS INSANE
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espnf1
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liked by pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 1,025,788 others
tagged: carlossainz55, charles_leclerc & yourusername
espnf1: well... this could be awkward
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user77: espn babe you're just like me
user78: *slides $5 across the bar* get a camera in the ferrari garage?
espnf1: we're working on it 😩
user79: pierre and max here... they really are the paddock gossip girls
maxverstappen1: i guess carlos couldn't handle that i knew who redacted was before him 🤷🏻‍♂️
carlossainz55: really?
maxverstappen1: don't put your sister on the streets and i won't dunk these jokes on your head
user80: is this like the official f1 civil war?
carlossainz55: you don't know anything max, i'd really keep your nose out of our business
maxverstappen1: i actually know exactly how you guys move, you tried it on 17 year old me and it becomes my business when my best friend calls me with no where else to go (also i know you changed the locks while you were in maranello so she wouldn't be able to go to charles, you're not slick)
carlossainz55: i never took you as a lap dog max
yourusername: calling him the lap dog when you're the biggest bitch on the grid - bold
carlossainz55: you're burning a lot of bridges for a talentless slut who had to start fucking my teammate when we cut you off
yourusername: keep throwing your PR to the fire and see who fucking hires you, i guess we'll both be unemployed bums
user80: also imagine calling her talentless like she isn't a well established poet LOL
user81: guys this is getting so bad so quickly
user82: we got the whole rest of the season of this
user83: mad respect to max for sticking up for his bestie
user84: and her actual boyfriend isn't?
yourusername: charles will do his talking on the track like he always does. he won't debase himself with bickering in instagram comments, funnily enough ferrari don't like that - might be the reason he still has a seat and someone doesn't
carlossainz55: or he's a pussy who has his woman talk for him
yourusername: at least he has a woman to talk for him, he doesn't behind his dad at any sign of trouble. i've always known i didn't matter to dad the moment i wasn't a boy but i'm not afraid of him or you and i know exactly how you work. good luck
user85: do they know we can all read this?
user86: when i'm in an oversharing contest and the sainz siblings walk in
user87: those ferrari debriefs are gonna be AWKWARD
yourusername: especially since he doesn't have binotto to hide behind any more
user88: girl you good?
yourusername: i've never been better, this has been building for years even before charles and i got together
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 908,487 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: i love you, it's ruining my life
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user89: y/n i'm gonna let you finish but we could really get the best poetry out of all of this
user90: for real like yeah i'm sorry your brother tried to make you homeless, exposed your relationship, accused you of treason and called you a talentless slut - but think of the poetry!
charles_leclerc: i love you and i hope you're okay
yourusername: i'll always be okay with you
charles_leclerc: it's out now and no one can take us away from each other
charles_leclerc: i'd actually love to see them try
yourusername: i'd go through this fortnight of hell over and over again if it meant i'd still keep you
charles_leclerc: i'd like to say this is the end of it but i think we're in for the long run now
yourusername: i'm prepared to go to war for you
charles_leclerc: there's no one i'd rather be on the front lines with
user91: oh brother... YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A POET WE GET IT
charles_leclerc: * in love with
user91: oh my bad
charles_leclerc: no worries
user91: STILL GROSS BRO
liked by maxverstappen1
charles_leclerc: max ???
maxverstappen1: you guys need to calm down cause i'm not good with words and kelly is gonna start scrutinising my cards and i DO NOT HAVE THE VOCABULARY FOR IT
yourusername: lol
maxverstappen1: lol? LOL? did our brief yet forced stint as roommates mean nothing?
yourusername: fine i'll ghostwrite your valentines cards
user92: so this is all a bit melodramatic
user93: he CHANGED THE LOCKS BRO SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO BE MELODRAMATIC
liked by charles_leclerc
user94: okay so now we're in full blown f1 civil war - who is on each side?
user95: well max and pierre are on charles' side. i'd also add in lewis, seb, oscar, esteban, george, alex, yuki and daniel
user96: so carlos has lando and fernando?
fernandoalo_oficial: it might not be blood but that's my daughter
user96: ????
user97: did he just show up to diss carlos and then refuse to elaborate?
user98: sounds like a nando thing to do .... also just leaves carlos with lando lol
user99: this feels a bit unfair
yourusername: all is fair in love and poetry
fin.
note: so as soon as i had this idea (litr TTPD release day) i have been so busy and WHACKED with the worst writer's block but i hope this is a good start and rest assured knowing the beef will only get worse... I LOVE DRAMA
note: hiii extra note from me here. first, i will fix this tag list at some point idk why it's not working rn. secondly, i have been made aware by multiple people that there is a series just like this one down to characters and the name of the series on here and i can't lie i'm bummed about it. as i said on the first part (?) this is an idea i've had since the release of TTPD (and people will back me up on this) so it bums me out that there are blatant copies coming out! i'm all for inspiration but sometimes there's a difference between taking inspo and copying especially when my masterlist was posted ages ago and my first part was posted on the 9th of may.... anyways that's all i have to say! enjoy xx
taglist: @aadu2173 @rhythmstars @kqliie @booksandflowrs @2bormaybenot @firelily-mimi @evie-119
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would-you-punt-them · 1 month
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I just want to tell you this:
Thank You So, SO Much for informing people about the horrid Mr. Beast situation occurring within his Squid Game Beast Games.
I don’t think would’ve known about this awful and disgusting event occurring as much as I do now if you didn’t post about it on this blog.
Thank you.
I do think it isn't something that should be brushed under the rug, and I also feel that the more people know about it, the worse it becomes for Jimmy when the Beast Games show actually comes out.
One thing I forgot to include in the post is that the Las Vegas shoot is going to be uploaded on YouTube as an extended qualifier to the actual show on Amazon Prime.
It's worth noting that the contestants didn't know that until they arrived at the stadium. They'd been told that the Las Vegas shoot was the Amazon show, and there would only be 1,000 competitors (which is how it is marketed by Amazon). They only learned that the player-count had doubled and this wasn't going to be on Prime once they were on set, and were shown a video message from Jimmy saying he forgot to mention that actually there were 2,000 people and this wasn't the Amazon show (though MrBeast later claimed that this was always the intent).
I don't know when the video(s) will be uploaded, but I honestly can't wait because I'm dying to know how they're planning on editing the footage to cut out the horrors that took place during the challenges.
Like, how are they going to show the Red team losing the first challenge with the rope and pulley? On the one hand, surely they've got to show the 400 people who were eliminated in that challenge. But on the other hand... what exactly do they have to work with?
The production team refused the Red team's pleas to stop the challenge and demanded they keep going to the end, presumably because they needed them to do it for the sake of the video. Instead, anti-capitalist icons that they are, the entire team abandoned the challenge mid-way anyway so they could go help their teammates who were literally being strangled, throwing the game. And once they'd abandoned the rope, they never picked it up again.
Obviously, the producers can't show competitors being throttled. But that means that they also can't explain why the Reds lost the challenge. If the throttling happened toward the end, maybe they'll be fine, but if it happened closer to the middle, there's no way for them to explain why those 400 people just gave up so early.
It also presumably means any overhead shots of all the teams are ruined, because that would require them to explain why the Reds just aren't participating.
Maybe they could show the Reds giving up, but give a different reason. But no reason I can think of works. If they say they "tried their best but knew they couldn't win", they would then also have to answer the question of why the challenge was impossible for them - the reason being that their team of 400 consisted of about 380 women, while their opposing teams consisted almost entirely of the youngest and strongest male competitors.
And I'm not sure how they're going to explain that, because if they show the challenge of everyone going for coloured jerseys, they can't reveal why the teams ended up so unbalanced, as the actual reason is that the male contestants were hoarding jerseys and were physically violent against the female and elderly contestants, and organised themselves to guarantee they were all on the same team, resulting in a gender split.
I'm also not sure how they plan to edit around challenges like the briefcase game, where in the middle of the cramped field the male contestants were attacking and trampling the women. It's going to take a lot of editing to cut around that. And while they can edit out the injuries occurring they can't edit out the fact that by the end of the challenge there are suspiciously fewer female contestants remaining than there were to begin with.
Additionally, they're going to have to justify why the contestants started off so diverse in gender and age, only for the 1,000 who made it to the actual Amazon show predominantly being young and male, without it becoming clear that no one else had any chance. They can't introduce new contestants to re-diversify the cast, because 1,000 were promised by Amazon, 1,000 qualified, and people will complain if they try to fudge the numbers or cheat by introducing last-minute entries, which is especially bad now that he's currently under fire for allegedly faking and rigging competitions.
Jimmy also can't just not upload it at all, because then he'd have to explain that as well, and this is such a massive event people, both fans and detractors, are going to notice.
The more people know about it, the worse his situation becomes, because there's just no way out of it without inviting questions he doesn't want people to know the answers to.
While this is obviously too much to hope for in this timeline, in an ideal world enough people start talking about this that Amazon cancels his show due to the controversy - Jimmy has said Beast Games is intended to be his break into more traditional media, and I think it would be nice to shut that down.
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rebouks · 10 months
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Keeping Lag to a Minimum...
I was chatting about a few things I do to combat lag over on discord and realised I do quite a bit of maintenance to reduce lag/load times. I decided to write em all down and before I knew it, I had a big ol' list. Here's hoping it helps!
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Save/File Tips:
Clear your caches (located in the same spot as your mod folder fyi) I usually delete the onlinethumbnailcache, avatarcache and localthumbcache caches every time I exit the game, the main one to delete regularly is the localthumbcache file, they're just temporary files but it can get pretty big after a while.. if you're having any mod issues, particularly ui ones, it's always worth deleting that to see if it helps.
Remove any saves you're not using from your saves folder, and keep an eye on save file sizes. In my experience, any saves over around 30-40mb start to get a bit laggy. Things that bump this size up are the amount of townies in game and the amount of lots/objects in the world.
Regarding the above point, I regularly bulldoze lots I don't need anymore, just to save the game from having to cope with extra shit to load in the background and reduce save file bloat.
Similarly, I delete a lot of unnecessary townies. Also, try to keep the amount of outfits on townies to a minimum, ain't no townie need four swimsuit outfits, the game will thank you..
If you have cheats enabled you can usually shift-click/delete object on things like random coffee cups or stray cupcakes sims foolishly drop around the world (or eat em.. whatever tickles ur pickle) just get rid!
Whilst we're keeping objects in game to a minimum.. I try to clear sims inventories now and then, including townies. You can do this via mccc even if you're not currently playing that household by heading to MC Cleaner -> Sell Sim Inventory/Sell Household Inventory. RANDOM LUMPS OF CLAY BEGONE!
Think of a save file like a lot.. the more objects in it, the laggier it gets! Try your best to remove anything or anyone unnecessary where you can.
Hit "Save As" instead of "Save" now and then - the more you overwrite a save, the more chance it has of going wonky, treat your game to a fresh one now and then and remove the old one from your saves folder (maybe don't delete it right away in case you wanna roll back, keep it somewhere safe).
If you can (although ik it can be a pain) set up a new/fresh save, you'd be surprised how bogged down old ones can get! For legacy players, it's usually best to do this whenever you have a small family to save yourself some pain, since you can just save the household and take em to a new save (you will lose sims inventories/household inventories/relationships with sims outside the household tho so beware! Pictures/other collectables can be saved to a lot however, and you can always cheat back relationship bits etc.. bit of a last resort but new saves are shiny and fast!)
Make sure your Screenshots/Video folders are empty - move em somewhere else, it works, trust me. If you have a lot of custom music installed try n' clear some of those out too.. the smaller that Sims 4 directory is, the better.
Delete any last exceptions/last crashes (same spot as your mod folder again) you don't need em unless you're planning to upload em somewhere for help.
Settings Etc:
If you get a bad lag spike, opening the main menu and/or saving can randomly stop this. If it doesn't, try exiting the game, clearing your localthumbcache and restarting.
Clearing all notifications from the game panel can also help.
If you can, close all other apps and background apps you don't need whilst playing, ts4 is super memory hungry so it can definitely help.
The GraphicsRules Override file by Simp4Sims can reduce lag/latency and make your game look a little better in the process!
Srslysims Simulation Lag Fix mod can help reduce lag too (if you've altered the game speed via mccc tho, don't use this unless you plan on resetting it to default).
If you aren't keen on, or barely use a pack, consider disabling it.
Not ideal, especially for those of us taking screenshots, but lowering the graphics settings whilst playing definitely helps.
If you use re/g-shade, consider switching it off whilst playing and only turn it on for screenshots.
A clean and tidy pc/laptop runs better in general. Remove anything you're not using/don't need anymore to free up space, remove temp files, clean up your folders now and again etc etc.. especially that dreaded mod folder, speaking of...
Managing Mods:
SORT OUT YOUR MODS FOLDER FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.. skdsjdjs it doesn't have to be immaculate but at the very least try n' clear it out now n' then. Also try to separate your script mods/overrides from the rest, patch days don't need to be so stressful ;-;
Personally, I don't merge my mods; if something breaks it's much harder to pinpoint! It makes it easier to find/delete specific mods too.. and let's face it, there's usually one or two items in that set you could do without lmaooo.. also, don't think it helps much tbh! Yeah you could say the game doesn't have to work as hard to load merged files but that's debatable, it's still the same amount of items/polys at the end of the day ¯\(°_o)/¯
If you like merging files and/or see results from doing so, you can merge stuff you definitely know you're never getting rid of, especially CAS/BB stuff.. but steer clear of merging gameplay/script mods! If a merged file seems to be the culprit when using the 50/50 method, try unmerging it and 50/50ing it again! You might not need to get rid of everything if something's borked.
Bulk Rename Utility can be used to remove all spaces and special characters from your mod files, the game doesn't particularly like loading those so it'll thank you.
The Sims 4 Mod Manager is a great way to sort through your mods, you can easily see, move and delete files from here (not great for build/buy, poses etc as thumbnails are usually missing, but great for CAS stuff). An extra hint with this that I've noticed is that if any of my mods get renamed with [D1] at the beginning after looking through them via the mod manager, it means it's a duplicate file so you can get rid.
I also use the Sims 4 Tray Importer to help me sort through mods. Simply save a sim/lot with any cc you don't want and find it in the importer, you can then go through all the cc in the cc tab and delete/sort it (I also use this to sort cc if a bunch has the wrong tags etc, makes it easier to find in my folders by saving em to a lot or w/e - it also spots duplicates which is handy).
It's a ballache, but the 50/50 method is tried and tested if you're having issues.
I like to keep an abandoned cc folder tucked away somewhere, that way you can remove mods willy nilly without stressing about losing them. If you change your mind, you can always grab it back!
3K notes · View notes
letorip · 4 months
Text
casual
"i thought you thought of me better, someone you couldn't lose, you said, "we're not together," so now when we kiss i have anger issues"
===+++===
pairing: natalie scatorccio x reader
summary: you and nat have been hooking up, but it seems the label of "no attachment" just seems to hurt you both.
warnings: explicit sexual content, mentions of sex, friends with benefits with feelings, you're a little bit of a dick
word count: 4.6k
A/N: it's come to my attention a LOT of people have used the chappell roan song casual for nat and i want to say i legitimately discovered this after i started writing. i tried to make it different from the others but there's definitely similarities just because they're based on the same song, but i want it known this was not an attempt to copy other people and i think so many of the other authors are insanely talented and i love reading their works.
===+++===
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===+++===
“Nat I swear to god I’m going to kick you out of this bed if you don’t stop moving,” you groaned, smushing your face further into the pillow. The thin cloth casing smelled like her floral shampoo and cigarette smoke, and you pressed it with your nose to make it last longer, squeezing your eyes shut and drawing a slow, heady lungful.
Natalie scoffed at you, pinching your bare side gently with her soft fingers, and you squirmed with a laugh. “This is my bed and you’re hogging the sheets, jerk. I’m trying to get comfortable.” If you had more of a conscience about the whole thing, you would have felt worse about leaving her out in the cold air of the room in what little she was wearing, but you were having all too much fun.
“Mm,” you hummed in response, bunching her comforter up in your hands and tugging even more towards you with a mischievous smile, to the point where the entire thing was wrapped around you and absolutely none was left on Natalie, who you could hear shift on the mattress behind you.
“You have got to be fucking with me,” she said in disbelief, and you grinned. “Give it here,” she demanded, reaching for your burrito of sheets and you jerked yourself away with a laugh, rolling over to see her staring at you with narrowed eyes. “Come on, give me my comforter,” she said again, trying and failing to seem assertive. Nat never scared you like she scared other people.
You raised your eyebrows at her in amusement and stuck your tongue out, rolling back away from her. “Are you serious??” she asked, reaching for you, but you moved from her grip again. “Come here, you idiot,” she laughed, wrapping a hand around your clump of her bedsheets and climbing on top of you, straddling your waist with her legs so you couldn't escape.
You squirmed underneath her, trying and failing to break free. She was a soccer player like you, with strong legs so you could barely nudge her. "Are you done?" She asked with a beaming grin, hands next to your head on the bed to box you in. Her soft blonde hair fell around the both of you and you would have stopped for a moment to admire the view if an idea didn't suddenly pop into your mind.
"Hmm, let me think," you said, and Nat's smile immediately wiped away. "No," you said, and in an instant you shifted your weight, rolling her right off of you and onto the carpeted floor with a soft thud.
"Hey!" She called up from the floor, but you were too busy laughing. You sat up, tossing the sheets off to look at her down there in your triumph. "Jerk," she said, but not unaffectionately.
"Looks like you fell there," you replied, propping your head up on your hand and grinning from ear to ear.
"Aren't you funny."
"I like to think so."
She went silent for a moment, humming at your response and then just staring for a while, looking you over with an unreadable expression. You swallowed, letting her stare with a growing lump in your throat as you watched her eyes trace up your legs slowly from where they hung off the side of her mattress, landing on your waist and then trailing up again, to your chest for a while, and then finally up to your face.
The air in the room had been sucked out by a vacuum, and the two of you were left in a rising warmth and muggy heat. She stood up then, locking your eyes on hers and slowly walking towards you until she stood right over you, close enough to where you could feel her warm breath fanning down over your face.
Her own pale cheeks were flushed pink, and when her hands came up to rest on your shoulders your own went up to her waist, sliding your thumbs up further until they brushed against her ribcage. She shivered and tensed under your grip and you felt it.
Nat leaned down to you in a gentle way one would never assume would be her style, softly pressing her lips to yours. You sat like that for a moment, smiling gently into it as she clambered up to straddle your waist again, never once breaking contact. Her lips grew more hungry, moving against yours with a rising intensity and desire for more, softly breathing into your mouth and pushing on the bare skin of your shoulders.
Your hands moved down to wrap around the back of her thighs, holding her tight against you as she broke the kiss and moved down towards your neck. "Nat," you laughed in between attacks from her lips and small bites here and there. "We literally just did this. Like, not even thirty minutes ago."
"And?" she asked, going back to her business and moving her mouth to the space where your neck and shoulder met. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to stop yourself from groaning and instead to form words. "Your hands are so rough," she whispered in your ear, before retreating down again.
Your hands slid up from the back of her thighs. "Sorry. It's the tennis and the water polo," you rushed, a tad apologetic. But Natalie shook her head, pulling back and leaning her forehead against yours to catch her breath.
"Fuckin' rich people," she said, smiling. You nodded, reconnecting your lips together before you trailed your mouth down her neck and to her collarbone, leaving small kisses as you went. One of her hands came up, fingers grabbing and threading at your hair to hold you there. "Wait, you have a butler don't you?" she asked, but the last part was cut off with a breath as you sucked right over her pulse.
You rolled your eyes in amusement at the question, pulling away and raising your eyebrows at her. "You really want to talk about that right now?" Nat had always harboured a fascination with your lifestyle you failed to understand, but you indulged her when she asked.
"I'm just saying," she laughed. "What's his name? Jeeves?"
"Nope," you shook your head in amusement, already knowing how she'd react. "Reginald."
"Now that's hot," Nat joked, smacking you on the shoulder playfully before she wrapped her arms around your neck and pulled you tighter to her.
"Yeah yeah, get it out of your system, idiot," You shook your head, looking up at her where she sat over you. Light warmed over her blonde hair from the window behind you both.
"Mhm," she hummed, kissing you one last time before she pulled away. "You should probably go soon," she said, looking over at her alarm clock with a frown.
"But I like this position," you teased with a smile, hands back on her waist and slowly tracing patterns on the skin there. Her skin was soft and you dragged the pads of your fingers up and down, tapping gently and doodling random shapes.
"Yeah well, my dad will be home soon. I don't think he'd like seeing us in this position," Nat said back, clambering off of you with a smirk. You felt the weight off your lap the moment she was gone and had to stop yourself from grabbing her hand and tugging her back towards you. Damn her father. From what you had heard of him from Nat, he wasn’t too nice anyways.
But you stopped yourself, watching Natalie go, walking to the other corner of her room to where you had thrown her jeans earlier. She turned to you as she tugged them on. "You're going to practice tomorrow, right?"
You nodded. "Couldn't escape soccer if I tried."
Nat nodded, grabbing a nearby shirt and throwing it over herself. “Want to meet up after? Continue what we started?” She asked with a smirk.
You rolled your eyes at her, shaking your head with a smile. “I can’t. My father is back from his business trip. We’re having my cousins over for dinner- it’s a whole big thing. Reginald is making a roast.”
“Okay,” Nat said, leaning back for a moment to think. "What about Lottie's party on Friday? You going to that too?"
"Couldn't escape Lottie if I tried," you said, throwing your head back against her bed and splaying out. Lottie Matthews held a special place in your heart as not only your neighbour but one of your best friends, and that meant being dragged to whatever social gathering she so desired to attend or host.
"Ooookay, so...would you want to maybe…go to Lottie's together?" That caught your attention and you froze, looking up to see Nat uncomfortably glancing around her room, arms crossed and mindlessly tugging on the ends of her sleeves.
"Uh...," you stuttered, propping yourself up on your arms and frowning. "I kind of already told Jackie I would go with her and Jeff. I thought you would be going with Kevyn and that one kid...so."
Nat nodded, looking down at the floor and frowning. "Yeah, it's... it's fine.”
“Okay…” you trailed off, watching her fidget. “Are you…?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, Jesus Christ. It’s one party.”
“Okay,” you nodded. Nat was very clearly not fine, but you knew better than to push her buttons. She tended to explode upon confrontation, especially when she didn’t want to talk about it. You stood up, stretching your arms out and you could feel her watching you again, soft blue eyes looking over you.
“Listen,” she said, in a tone that was disarmingly sweet for Natalie Scatorccio. This was far from the tough girl who shoved you against lockers after practice or who argued with you about everything and anything she could. Her cheeks were flushed and she fidgeted with her fingers.
“When I said… earlier, when I said you had really rough hands. I like your hands. It wasn’t- I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”
“Um…okay,” you replied, nodding gently at her. You had no clue why she was being so timid all of a sudden and it was a bit puzzling. You turned back from her to grab your shirt from the floor next to her bed, tugging it over your head and turning back. "Have you seen my shorts?" you asked, running a hand through your mussed up hair and attempting to tame it.
"Yeah," said Nat, still weirdly quiet. She held them up in her hand, outstretched towards you, and you walked over, grabbing them from her and tugging them on.
"Thanks," you smiled, pulling the drawstrings tight and going to get your socks. The entire time she just watched you, not saying much but clearly thinking a whole lot. "Are you sure you're okay?" you laughed. "Stop being weird, Nat. Just say it."
"Okay...Look, I know you said-" but she was cut off. From outside her bedroom down the hall, you heard the front door open and slam shut. Natalie's face went white in panic and she stood right up, running to the window and throwing it open without even a second to waste.
"NATALIE, GET THE FUCK OUT HERE!" the old, gruff voice called from her kitchen, and you knew this was a code red situation.
"Go! Go! Go!" She whispered at you, pushing you towards her window. "Get the fuck out before he finds you!"
"Wait, my shoes-" you said, hopping through the window and landing on the hot pavement in your socks. She laughed, turning back around and grabbing your sneakers off the floor, throwing them out the window and smacking you in the head, bouncing off you. "Ow!"
"Sorry!" She whispered, sticking her head out the window. "See you tomorrow?" Her eyes softened for a moment, looking hopeful.
"Yeah," you nodded, grabbing your shoes off the ground.
"NATALIE! NOW GODDAMMIT!" Her dad called again, and she spun around, heading for the door and leaving you outside her window. You didn't even bother putting your shoes on as you ran off in your socks, to where you had parked your car several streets down.
===+++===
It was always Wednesdays in the cafeteria when the food looked most disgusting. You didn't eat it, but Shauna did, sitting right in front of you with a plate of what was allegedly turkey and gravy, and you always wanted to poke it a bit with a straw and see if it would get up and crawl away.
"Stop staring at my food," she laughed, and you shook your head, gagging a bit with overdramatic performance.
"It looks like a science experiment.”
"Yeah, well not everyone can have their food packed for them, now can they? Not my fault I don't have a maid like Lottie or a butler, like you," Shauna said, gesturing at you with her fork.
“Sorry,” you winced.
"You can have some of my sandwich, if you want," Lottie said, turning to Shauna and pulling it from her bag. "The housekeeper makes too much for me anyways."
Shauna shook her head. "I'm really fine, thanks Lottie. It's not as bad as it looks. Tastes almost good, in a weird way.”
“Maybe you’re just weird,” you shrugged with faux integrity, and Shauna stuck her tongue out at you.
“Are you guys going out for track in the spring?” Jackie asked, arms crossed out in front of her.
“I am, yeah,” said Lottie. “My parents think the more sports I do, the more colleges I get into.”
“Mine too,” you nodded. “I’m doing track but only if it doesn’t interfere with spring tennis.”
"What are you going out for?" Jackie asked. "I'm debating if I should even go out."
"Yeah, you should go out," Lottie said. "Track is always fun. (Y/n) and I both do relay and high jump, but you could probably handle the hurdles or short sprints."
"You think?" Jackie asked, staring off in contemplation.
You nodded again. "You'd do just fine. It's no big deal if you already know how to run, and me and-"
"-Oh. My. God." All three of you looked over at Jackie, who had straightened up completely. She was staring off behind you, into the distance with her mouth a bit agape. You hadn't even noticed she had stopped listening to the conversation.
"What?" You asked, puzzled by her expression. "Something on me?"
Jackie nodded, smirking. "A certain someone's eyes are."
You rolled your eyes. "Do I even want to know?"
"Oh come on," Jackie said. "You already know. Nat. She keeps looking over here from her burnout table."
You frowned, turning around and following her eyes. Natalie sat on the opposite side of the cafeteria, at one of the round green tables in the corner near the vending machines. She was indeed looking at you, headphones over her ears and cassette player on the table. When she saw you look back at her, she looked away quickly, turning to Kevyn.
"She's, like, stalking you at this point."
You scoffed, looking back to your table. "She's not stalking me, drama queen. She's probably just looking around."
Lottie turned back to the table, shrugging. "I mean, she does keep looking over here."
"Oh, not you too," you groaned, facepalming.
Lottie held up her hands defensively. "I'm just saying what I'm seeing." Shauna sent you a sympathetic look from across the table, retreating to eat more of her turkey. When someone gave Jackie crumbs like this she was like a dog with a bone. True investigative journalism at its finest.
"You said you two are hooking up right?" She asked, leaning forwards and almost whispering the last part. You frowned, not entirely sure why she was acting like it was a secret.
"Yeah, we hook up. We're not together though," you answered her.
"But she wants to be," Jackie said, flat out like it was a statement and an obvious one at that. She looked back over your shoulder where you assumed Natalie was still watching you. You shrugged.
"Maybe? I don't know. She hasn't said anything to me, so."
"She follows you around like a lovesick puppy, it's genuinely so weird. I've never seen Nat in love before-"
"Woah, slow down. She's not in love with me."
"Come on!" Jackie said, laughing. "You can NOT be that oblivious. Nat practically drools over you all the time whenever you're doing tennis at the courts next door!"
"So? We fuck around. Becoming a thing hasn't been talked about by either of us."
"Tell her that, then," Jackie giggled. "That nutcase is stalking you, I'm serious."
"Stop calling her a nutcase," you glared at her.
"It's just funny," Jackie shrugged. "So the cool, stoner burnout girl fell for the valedictorian, jock, key club president whose parents own a third home in Long Beach."
"Drop it, Jackie," Lottie said from next to you, shaking her head in irritation. God bless Lottie. But Jackie smirked at you again.
"It's just funny. Romeo and Juliet. It's cute, really," she laughed.
"Shut up," you said.
From overhead, the school bell rang, and you stood to gather your things for the final period of the day, bumping into Lottie as she did the same. Jackie spun to you.
“I’m gonna go find Jeff! See you guys at practice.”
“Bye,” Shauna nodded, giving her a warm smile.
The three of you grabbed your stuff and headed for the chemistry lab, turning down the hallway and up the stairs.
“Sorry about her, you know how she gets about Nat,” Shauna said to you, turning as you walked.
You shrugged. “It’s fine. She just needs to take it out on me next time, and not Nat. Nat didn’t do anything wrong.”
“She knows, yeah,” Shauna said, shuffling the books around in her arms so they were easier to hold onto. “You said your dad is back in town, right?”
“Yup. He was in Tokyo for some business or whatever. I don’t know, it’s boring stuff, a merger or something.”
Lottie shuddered. “I still remember when he yelled at us for pieing that old groundskeeper. He's like, scary."
You laughed. "He's not scary. He's just a business dude. No nonsense. And you and I know we were nonsense kids."
"Would he care if I went to the dinner? My parents are having date night and Taissa and Van are busy," Lottie said.
"I mean, I don't think he would care. My mother insisted on making a whole thing out of it. Pretty sure she invited the new neighbours, the Roosevelts."
"Wait, as in-" Lottie stopped, beginning to grin.
"It's not funny," you said, rolling your eyes.
"What? What's wrong with that?" asked Shauna.
"It's nothing, Lottie is being stupid."
"Hey!"
"My mother keeps trying to set me up with their daughter, since she's on the golf team and likes science," you explained to Shauna. "She keeps trying to find me a match in our neighbourhood. Literally almost killed her when I said me and Lottie were just friends."
"Have you told them about Nat?" Shauna said. The three of you turned the corner, walking up to the water fountain you would hang out in front of right before class started. Shauna leaned back against the lockers nearby, and Lottie went for a drink.
"Uh, first of all, they would probably kill me, and second of all, we're not together officially or anything," you shrugged. "We mess around a bit, but we both say it's casual and give each other space. Nat's tough, she knows."
Speak of the devil. From where you stood leaning against a pillar, Nat walked by with some kid you didn't know, shooting a small smile in your direction. You just watched her go, giving her an awkward grimace and looking back to your friends.
===+++===
"Eyes open, Lottie!" Coach Ben yelled from across the field near the bench. You could see Misty and Trevor, the manager for the boys' team, in the distance next to him, watching the scrimmage.
"Here!" She yelled. Lottie spun on her foot, sweeping the ball right from between Daniel DuPont's legs and up to Luke Miller, who was being covered down by a kid you didn't know. He looked around desperately, eyeing anyone she could pass to, finally locking eyes with you and booting it in your direction.
You caught it with your chest, letting it fall and then moving forward until Nat could catch up, Jeremy from your English class hot on her heels. You passed it out to her on the wing, letting her take it up the pitch.
She dribbled it, keeping it away from Carter Avery. He was a real prick, with a nasty sneer while he played, and he kept yelling at her, chasing her down the pitch while she ran. You moved up along with Jackie, ready for Nat to cross it to you, but she couldn't make it.
You watched Natalie push forward, but Laura Lee was nowhere to be found, covered completely by Shauna, who was an amazing defender and kept her completely boxed out. Taissa was on you and Jackie, and any pass in Jackie's direction would've immediately let Taissa run away with it.
Instead, Nat turned to Carter, trying to bounce it off his shoe and out, but it ricocheted, knocking off her own cleats and out. "Out on Natalie!" Coach Martinez yelled. "Natalie, if you're going to pull those tricks it has to work, come on!" He said, throwing up his hands.
She nodded, but Carter looked pissed, stalking over to her. "Play some good soccer, why don't you?" He sneered, coming right up to Nat's face. "Pull that bullshit again and I'll show you what happens."
You rolled your eyes, walking over. "Shut the hell up, Carter. It's your throw in anyways."
Carter Avery leered at you, trying to seem tall. "Got something to say to me, (L/n)?"
You put your hands on your hips, glaring right back at him. "Yeah, maybe I do, Avery. There's a reason the girls are going to nationals and the boys aren't. If you played just as well as you talked shit, maybe it'd be a winning team."
"Fuck off," he said. "I don't need your shit, country club."
"You're gonna get it anyways," you glared at him. "Just as long as you keep being a quivering pussy."
"Bite me," he said back.
"Can we play some soccer? Hellooo?" yelled Jackie from behind you. Carter grunted, but didn't say anything else, grabbing the ball from the ground and stalking towards the sideline. You rolled your eyes but backed up to your position, just behind Nat so you could give her support. Laura Lee came up, ready, and you looked back to Lottie to make sure she was behind you when-
-BAM!
A soccer ball collided right with your face, knocking you right off your feet. If it didn't hurt so damn much you would've been impressed by how good of a throw it was. Instead, you were left looking up at the sky, feeling blood begin to waterfall from your nose.
"Carter!" A voice yelled. "What the fuck!?"
"Oh my god!"
"Jesus Christ!"
"A very worried-looking Jackie was hovering over you, blocking your head from the sun. You saw Lottie behind her in a moment, and then everyone was crowing around in a weird halo of concern and disgust.
Nat elbowed her way through the crowd and was right by your head. "Are you okay?" She asked you, insanely worried. Her blue eyes were shining and distressed, and her blonde hair fell around you again like it did in her bedroom. You managed a weak thumbs up and a smile.
"Yup. Never better," you mumbled in pain, and she laughed, shaking her head.
"So stupid."
"How do I look?" You asked her.
"Covered in bruises, dude," she replied, with a smile. You heard some movement in the background and then you were being made to sit up. It was Misty, right behind you, carrying some nose plugs, bandaids, and a first aid kit.
===+++===
They let you sit out for the rest of the scrimmage for obvious reasons, and you sat right on the patterned blue and yellow tiles that led to the locker rooms with an ice pack against your nose and eye, head resting right up against the wall.
You didn't know what they did with Carter and you didn't particularly care. The pain in your eye and your nose seemed to radiate through your whole body, and you squeezed your eyes shut. According to Misty it was a miracle you had avoided a concussion, but it wasn't a miracle for your nose, which currently sat stuffed with blood-soaked tissues.
From down the hall near the field you heard the heavy metal door open. "Hey," she said. You didn't move, trying to stop more blood from pouring out.
"Hey Nat," you replied.
"Carter is probably getting detention. Everyone knows it was on purpose."
"Coach Martinez can do that?" you asked.
"Apparently. He gave us this whole long speech and pretty much dissed the boys team for not being good. It was funny."
You smiled at the thought, nodding a little bit. "Remind me not to cross Coach Martinez."
"Will do."
"Is practice over?" You asked, opening one eye to look at her.
"Not yet," Nat shook her head. "I volunteered to check on you."
"My hero."
She rolled her eyes at the title, smiling in that cheesy, toothy way she liked to smile. You liked it when she smiled like that.
"Well, Carter's a douche," she said after a moment.
"I know. Kept on contemplating if it was worth it to knee him in the balls."
"You should've. That guy could fuckin' reproduce one day. There could be more, miserable, little clones of himself that other kids will have to put up with." Natalie walked over, sliding down onto the floor with you.
"Tell me how bad it is, would you?"
She winced. "It's definitely a 'black' eye. Your nose is busted, too."
"Great. My mother is gonna throw a giant fit about it, then," you groaned, imagining it now.
"Why?" She asked.
You laughed. "She's supposed to be setting me up tonight. Has this neighbour girl- Julie Roosevelt- picked out and everything for that dinner I told you about. She's not bad, she's at least nice, but I don't-"
You stopped talking when you noticed Natalie had tensed up next to you. She was staring at the opposite wall, looking absolutely beside herself. "She what?"
"She's trying to set me up..." you muttered. There was suddenly the overwhelming sensation you had just said something very very wrong. Nat stood right up, turning around to go back out the doors. "Nat, what's wrong? What did I say?"
She whipped back around to you, eyes watery, her bottom lip quivering a bit, in a way you had never seen Natalie either. "And you're letting her?"
"Um...I mean, I don't really have an excuse."
"Oh, you don't, do you? God, you're such a fucking asshole!"
"What did I do??" You asked her, standing up too.
"You really don't know?"
"No, Nat, I don't."
She shook her head, tears beginning to fall. "Go to hell, (Y/n)." With that she turned around, bursting through the metal doors. You were left in the hallway all alone, watching her go with a deep frown.
"Ahem," cleared a throat from behind you.
You nodded. "I know Lottie. I know."
===+++===
so this took awhile. first non jenna ortega fanfic of mine, so it's probably a little bloated, but i wanted to get it out there because there will definitely be a part two. i like nat so much and i love the show, and there will definitely be more nat and more lottie from me and shauna (?) but next will be a tara carpenter fic
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yb-cringe · 4 months
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i think whats always made me the most emotional about qsmp characters and players alike leaving is that it feels so much more. personal. a bit more gutting when it comes to the way qsmp functions.
the reason this server was made in the first place was to make connections between players that CANT happen anywhere else. or rather, are very difficult to maintain.
it's hard to consistently stay in contact with people who don't speak the same language as you. qsmp made a point to force those people to interact and everything else was just.. trying to soften the harder edges of communicating that don't happen elsewhere.
and its simultaneously beautiful and horribly horribly painful. because the world outside of qsmp isn't very accommodating. and often, as these are content creators with Lives, they don't have time to really maintain every friendship they ever make.
It's why maxo and jaiden and richas and pomme and dapper etc-- its why every death or absence from the server is so gutting. because you know when they leave, that this just /cant/ happen again.
i'm not saying this to be. doomposty. i know that's kinda what it sounds like. i think pepito said it great already; that new memories can be made and we can love the old ones.
i think what im getting at is that clawing back to a time that's passed won't make us happy, it won't take us back there. you gotta just keep moving forward. qsmp is changing a lot. it wont ever be like it was last year. that doesn't mean it can't be good later.
we're going to lose creators and characters and things that remind us VERY heavily of the times where we had friends that we drifted from or lost because of one thing or another.
but you gotta remember there will be more people who you will love too. new people, who won't fill that space but occupy something new because fun fact you don't ever run out of space for that sort of thing.
be sad theyre gone be happy they're doing well remember the memories fondly but keep moving. unfortunately a lot of qsmp has ended up being about letting things go.
its like the. 'its going to be okay. but its going to be different.' and. skdfjds idk i hope thats a hopeful enough note to make things better.
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muzaktomyears · 3 days
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Two of Us play notes/thoughts/Easter eggs I noticed
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they played solo Beatles tracks as waiting music before the play began so I sat there listening to ‘Monkberry Moon Delight’ with a theatreful of people which was great 
before Paul turns up John is baking(/burning) bread
John is wearing underwear under his dressing gown which obvs had to be but also my suspension of disbelief was CHALLENGED
when Paul rings up to be let in John does a little rhyme to make him prove he is who he says he is. this is not the exact wording but it went something like: "Five little boys in Hamburg did play/All through the night and all through the day/Ingrid the stripper would do anything/But who got the clap? Was it sexy Stu Sutcliffe - or the lead singer in Wings?" and then Paul has to admit it was him who got the clap
when Paul takes his shoes off he also takes his socks off - idk if this is an intentional barefoot Paul thing but it is hilarious later when they're fighting and Paul is about to leave and angrily putting his socks back on
John and Paul have Get Back era hair/beards, which is weird - presumably because they assume people going to see this will also have seen Get Back but might not know their 1976 looks as well?? idk
some of the dialogue and references have been made a bit more British - the skit they do at the piano is now set in a British greasy spoon instead (still with the American accents)
instead of fighting "like the Hatfields and McCoys" they're now fighting like "the Montagues and the Capulets" (👀)
'Sh-Boom' is played on the record player while they smoke weed (Paul uses the album cover to roll the joint)
George and Ringo both get more of a mention! Paul says that George is happy now (John replies that he's not happy, he's reincarnated). John tells Paul a story Ringo told him about going on a bus in NYC and being recognised.
"I'm the best fuck you ever had" is said by John during the fight (Paul replies "If that's your way of saying you were the real brains behind the Beatles-" etc. etc.)
"You should have married me when you had the chance" is said by John during the Yoko/losing my friend bit
"It's only me" as John's way to get Paul not to leave after the fight
when John goes out to get disguises for them Paul sits at the piano and starts playing some notes he finds there (he'd asked about them earlier and John had said they're nothing). we get a few notes of 'Now and Then' before John returns (ghjshgkhgkdshgksd who did this I HATE YOU)
the appearance of the I Love Paul badge!! John wears it on his disguise jacket and Paul asks what it says. John tells him and then Paul replies "Lucky Paul".......
they never go outside in this version - John says he'll go but then thinks better of it. this means that John comes across as even more locked away than he does in the film.
the police bit is sort of done when Paul puts on a leather hat from the disguises and pretends to be a policeman come to question John, who John then talks back at. he also yells out of the window at some police below at one point.
Paul realises they're never actually going to Luigi's, so John lays the table for him as if they're at a restaurant together (including calling him "Lady McCartney" and "my love")
the bit with the fan is sort of recreated but instead it's John asking Paul whether he truly thinks Wings at the Speed of Sound is the number 1 record in America (which obvs changes it quite a lot)
Julian is brought up - they're toasting to various people/things (ending with "Dr. Winston O'Boogie and Paul Ramon") and Paul says "to Julian" and sort of confronts John about him and how he treated him
during the toasting Paul also mentions "putting hair on a seagull's chest" which John questions and then Paul says it's something his dad used to say
I thought the lift scene/roof scene wouldn't be happening... BUT THEN a lift descended from the ceiling ❤️ the magic of theatre
the kiss still happens and idk but I thought the vibe was a bit different from the film version - less jokey (and no lines after about brushing his teeth/is my name Brian)
Paul: I bought into it that you and me didn't get along well (paraphrasing the Stephen Colbert interview)
they hug at the end of the roof conversation (I was sat very close to this since the actors come in front of the stage to do it and they were both crying and it WAS ALL TOO MUCH 😭😭)
John gets them two guitars to practice with before they go out and they sit opposite each other in chairs and Paul says “I know which one to begin with” and John says “What?” and they lean forward and then the phone rings
when Paul leaves John he’s crying and it’s like okay rip out my heart I guess
the play ends with Paul on the phone to Linda and John on the phone to Yoko, at opposite sides of the stage, and they say “I love you” to their wives but also to each other and it’s ridiculous????
yeah then ‘Give Peace a Chance’ plays which is such a bizarre choice idek
anyway who knows if it's a good play or what the actual people there thought about it because obvs I can have no rational reaction to it but I'm so glad I went to see it because someone on the writing team is one of us I SEE YOU
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ariesmoontarot · 6 months
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𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝙽𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚁𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙:
(What it’ll be like, the energy they’ll give off, how they’ll feel about you, the purpose of this relationship, their next actions, & advice.) (For some of you this is a current relationship.)
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𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘗𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘴: (left to right)
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♡book a reading here♡
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Pile One:
Hey, pile one. It's clear to see your next partner will feel like they feel true love with you. You will be teaching them important life lessons, and because of the way you love them, it's going to help them see their worth. They may have been in unhealthy relationships in the past and I feel like with you they're able to let their guard down and be open. I feel like they had trust issues and settled for less than they deserved in their past relationships and in general, but with you they finally see what love should be like.
The connection between you and this person is definitely not new. This is someone you have history with. If you don't resonate you may want to choose a different pile. So, what I'm getting is that this person has been carrying a lot when it comes to how they feel. They haven't been letting you see how they feel, talking about it, or asking for help even though they feel like they need it. They're going to be feeling indecisive, confused, and second guessing themselves because they're scared of making a choice to commit or not to commit. They know they'll lose out on a good person, and I feel like for some of you, they're having a hard time choosing between you and another person, or whether they want to commit or not. It's like they have this one foot in one foot out energy. Whatever the case may be, I see this person trying to balance out their life. Financially, romantically, spiritually, and emotionally. Maybe even their family life as well. They're definitely going to be juggling a lot all at once and trying to keep everything under control. I feel like they haven't been taking any action or putting in effort into the relationship with you and it feels like they're a bit closed off and hesitant to open up to you because of their fear and insecurities. They could've been a player or was stuck in their ways and with you I feel like you made them feel something they've never felt and even if they hide it well from you, they feel deeply for you. For some of you this person will confess how they feel unexpectedly, and it won't happen right away. You may already or will be going through a period of hot and cold energy, ups and downs, talking then not talking until you guys finally come together. If you even want to be with them. I am seeing that you will feel tied to them still. For some of you, this person may be someone you have history with like I said, and you separated, and during that time they got with someone else but didn't fully commit to that person because they still felt for you, and you felt for them as well, but this wasn't ever said by them. Maybe by you though.
The energy of your person when you guys are going to be getting in a relationship will come off as them being very patient, career oriented, and ambitious. I feel like they're learning to think long term and more practical about the connection with you. In the past they may have not been someone who normally committed or really invested their time and energy into the right things. I feel like they used to think in a more temporary way and let their immaturities and bad habits get in the way. They're going to be the one to initiate having a committed relationship with you because I feel like it aligns with their goals and plans that they have for their future. They see you being a part of it, and I feel like they weren't an honest person in the past. They used to be very sneaky and maybe even deceptive. They also never expressed how they truly felt to anyone because of their own fears. I feel like they'll be wanting to heal with you and spend time alone away from others, meaning blocking the outside noise and interferences out so they could focus more on the relationship with you and bettering themselves. I feel like they will feel very frustrated with themselves because they allowed disruptions and third-party situations to get in the way of them showing up and being there for you. They will be strengthening their faith and cleansing themselves of all the things that got in the way of the relationship and their growth. They will have faith that things are going to get better, and I see them being confident in their approach and wanting to build a home and the create the feeling of success with you. I feel like when they think of their best self they think of you. They only feel like their best when they're around you and you remind them of love. (I literally cried on this part). I feel like you are what they need in a healthy way. You encourage them and inspire them to be better. I see them definitely surprising you and unexpectedly coming clean about how they feel about you.
I feel like this person was very superficial and let materialistic things including their ego control them. This affected the relationship between you guys because they weren't being as genuine as they should have been. I see them feeling bad and really guilty because they know you're the victim in a sense. They know they messed up and they can't run from it anymore. You could have left them because you were fed up with how they acted and treated you. I feel like this triggered them and they realized like "damn they really leaving me." When you guys are getting into this commitment with each other all of this will be on their mind. The history, how they made you feel, how they want to change, and how they want to treat and love you the way you deserved to be loved. They ignored the love and passion they felt for you because it was too intense. Not in a bad way either, they just couldn't handle it. I feel like they don't want to let you go. They don't want to lose you and they will feel a bit powerless because I feel like they're insecure. They don't know if things will work between you guys, but they want them to. I feel like they lack the confidence because your answer or how you feel will determine whether or not you guys are really done. They will be a bit scared of coming towards you and expressing how they feel, but they will. They want to heal and let go of the past. They also want you to heal and they know how much they've disappointed you. I feel like they were feeling so ashamed because you were good to them, and they took you for granted. They trust you; they love you, and they feel like you are the one for them the timing just wasn't right in the past. They want to protect you and the relationship from anything that tries to destroy it again, even themselves. They don't want to hurt you anymore and I feel like they genuinely want to change their life for the better to be able to have you in it. I feel like they cry about you a lot as well.
The purpose of this relationship is to teach the both of you valuable lessons about your self worth, faith, and life in general. I feel like you both will learn forgiveness, honesty, and how to really be your genuine selves. You both argued a lot and I feel like there was so many harsh words said, and painful experiences learned throughout the connection itself and even not being involved with each other, but still being on and off, you both learned lessons with other people and situations too. I feel like for them the lesson was way bigger than it was for you just because they've genuinely never felt deep love and a real connection with someone. That's not to say you felt any different than they do, but it hit them really deep and took them a lot longer to catch on to the truth of their feelings, let alone the connection itself. You both will learn that good things take time and they're challenging. Sometimes you gotta go through hell and back just to find peace. This relationship will lead to commitment and marriage and give the both of you what you really need out of a connection. I also feel like the connection happened so suddenly for the both of you and it was a miracle. Like it was divine intervention when you guys met each other. Could've even been at a party or through a cousin and/or friend. It caught the both of you off guard and neither of you expected to fall in love with each other or to be where you are in the point of time when you're actually committing to each other for the long run. Some of you will even have kids together and things will feel so surreal, almost like a dream come true. I feel like things were going really good in the beginning and maybe even a little too fast and you both needed to learn big lessons so God took the connection and started created situations and experiences so that way you guys can both slow down and start paying attention to the things you needed to see. It may have felt like the worst things started happening and the relationship just started to fall apart out of nowhere, but really it was coming together, and your old lives were changing massively and the energies that kept you stuck were being purged and released. I feel like you both learned to have faith and to trust in divine timing and not your own. It's like God placed you two together and even when you tried to run from them, you couldn't. It's the same way for them. Neither of you can explain the connection or how you feel about each other, but it's deep and it's real.
Your person's next actions will be taking responsibility for their decisions. I feel like they know everything they did to hurt you and all that stuff. I see them wanting to make up for it and they will through their actions literally. There will be challenges of course and a lot of conflict surrounds your person in some way. I feel like there's just obstacles and difficulties they will be dealing with and trying to overcome within themselves and in their life. They are going to restore balance and harmony in the relationship, it's just going to take patience and perseverance and they want to know if you're on board or not, so I see them communicating to you what it is they want and waiting for your response. I also feel like they're going to be tapping into their intuition to try and feel your energy in some way. Like they're going to be trying to read you and look deeper into what you say and do because I feel like you are a bit mysterious and they want to know what's on your mind and what you're doing, feeling, who's around you, and everything. I feel like they're a bit nosey because they care whether or not you're entertaining someone else or if there's something bothering you, they just care about the small things, and they don't want to miss a detail or accidentally miss that you are upset or struggling in some way and just not showing or telling them. I also feel like if you were unfaithful to them in some way, they are going to be working on healing from this. If that doesn't resonate, they're releasing past trauma and fears due to deception that happened in their past. They're also scared of trusting you because of their own deception and how they mistreated you. They don't want you to take revenge or somehow get back at them for hurting you. I also feel like it's hard for them to get through to you. You can come off as very cold, detached, and not revealing too much when you're upset, and they don't want you to leave them so I see them doing all they can to mend things with you.
The advice for you is to learn from your past, use your wisdom and discernment moving forward. Know that endings bring new beginnings and it's time for change. This relationship will change and grow from where it is currently and so will you. Embracing change and learning to live life open mindedly will help you. Letting go of pessimistic feelings and feelings of resentment, apathy, and bitterness will benefit you and the relationship itself. Being happy on your own and learning to embrace your own company and feeling content within yourself no matter what. You will be successful and when you allow yourself to feel accomplished and happy you will start to manifest changes in all areas of your life. I see a wish fulfillment happening and Spirit is saying to allow the energy of expansion into your life. Do new things that bring you joy, connect with others, be open to change, and embrace the lessons you've learned. You gotta learn to open yourself up wholeheartedly. It's also important to embrace the present moment and allow yourself to feel joyful and abundant. Have more gratitude and compassion towards yourself and others.
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Pile Two:
Hey pile two! I feel like your current or next partner will be someone who felt love at first sight with you. They could definitely love your smile and same for you about them. I feel like there is a very deep spiritual connection between you guys and none of the superficial things can get in the way of that. You both love each other deeply and you'll be very supportive of each other in every way. I also feel like this person will be someone you can always depend on to be there, and they'll always be your biggest fan, lifting you up when you're down, investing in you, and I feel like quality time will be a big thing between you.
The relationship between you guys will move very gradually. It'll take some time, effort, and patience to build up the momentum. However, I feel like the attraction and connection will happen very quickly. Things will be very passionate, and I feel like they'll be caring, charismatic, and show you exactly how they feel about you, boldly. I see both of you balancing and healing each other in the places needed. They will be someone who is very mature and they know exactly what they want and how to get it. Not in a bad way. I also feel like sexually there will be intense chemistry and it'll be very exciting. This could be a new person for a lot of you. I see them showering you with love, affection, and attention. They definitely want to provide for you, support you, and lead you in a good direction. I feel like things will be so peaceful and flow almost effortlessly, but of course you both have to put in effort. This relationship will be divinely guided, and I feel like there is this telepathic, magical, feeling you get with them. It's like you connect very deeply in every way and sometimes you know what they're going to say or do before they even do it. It's like you read each other's energy. I also feel like the third eye chakra is very significant. You may have had dreams about this person or intuitive nudges like yeah this is the one. I also feel like in the beginning, obviously commitment won't happen immediately. It's going to take time because you're both finishing certain cycles in your life and letting go of toxic behaviors and addictions. I feel like you may be frustrated in the beginning because you don't quite understand why things are happening the way they are and you may be facing obstacles that require you to have a great deal of patience and persistence. I feel like things won't be super emotional at first because you and this person are being pushed to focus on creating stability for yourselves and learning how to feel abundant without all the superficial things. Sometimes you both may wish you can just be together and forget all of the problems and responsibilities in the world. There is a lot you won't see in the beginning but give it time things will bloom when they're meant to.
So, the energy this person will give off is someone who is charming, exciting, idealistic, and very assertive and passionate. I feel like they will be experiencing a hard period of their life when you meet them. I feel like for some of you this is someone you already know who take it how it resonates, but there is distance and separation. I feel they may feel frustrated and moody because of it. Whatever they're going through, they're going to be quite overwhelmed and guarded over their feelings. I feel like they may be scared that you will leave them, and they've been in very toxic situations to where they're a bit co-dependent at times. There is an energy of co-dependency here. It could also be them fighting addictions and bad habits of co-dependency relating to a drug or specific thing that they indulge in. I see them being very loving, generous, and affectionate to you because they don't want to lose you. They're going to be open to receiving your love and anything you give them because they want a relationship with you. I do feel like you know things about this person that they're scared of, almost like they're assuming you may hold it against them. They may have been a player, a liar, a cheater, doesn't have the best reputation and they're aware of it. I also feel like for some of you if you already know this person, they may have ghosted you and entertained other people, and you feel for deeply them but you're not about to allow yourself to be played. It's like they wanted you to chase them at some point. I feel like if that's the case for you, you distanced yourself from this person and they're aware of it. They may even be avoiding you themselves. They will come in to ask for your forgiveness and hope to balance things out between you guys again. For others, I feel like this person did some dirt in the past either to you or in another situation, and it's catching up to them and their karma will be weighing on them and the connection they have with you. They'll be trying to make the best of the situation, but it's going to be challenging for them to be open and emotionally available for a little bit because of the guilt and burdens they may be releasing. For those of you that know this person, they came to you with this strong and passionate energy in the beginning, then I feel like you bonded quickly and connected so deeply it scared them and they went on full defense mode and started acting nonchalant. They are used to being in control and dominating others, but with you they feel a bit vulnerable. I see they may have started acting different with you and stopped doing the things they did to get you in the first place. Their energy switched up.
I feel like they really do love you and they don't quite know how to show you that. You're so gentle, kind, nurturing, and protective of them. They love you for who you are, and I feel like they have a vision for their future with you in it. They're just really anxious and scared of opening up to you because of their insecurities. They have trust issues and fear emotional intimacy. They feel like you're very self-assured and independent. You guys will share the same goals, values, and morals. I feel like they want to be a team with you and come together to make things work. They want to overcome challenges and obstacles together, but it's just taking time to get to where they feel open to expressing this to you. Cigarettes After Sex could be significant. I feel like for you, you haven't met the best type of people when it comes to relationships, and it sometimes makes you feel a lack of faith in love. They feel like you're looking ahead and trying your best to stay motivated and focused no matter what happens in life. You don't want to get too distracted or sad especially about them, but they feel your energy. They feel like you're in a low spirit and feeling a bit hurt emotionally. They've seen your best or at least your uplifted energy and they know you're struggling right now no matter how much you keep it together. I feel like they feel you're scared to love again, and you hide how you feel because of it. You don't normally open up about how you feel, it could be because of a lack of trust or fear. You might even be really cold at times even though you don't want to be. Even if you don't know this person, which most of you do but they will feel your energy heavily. I speak in the present moment because it's energy, but it doesn't mean it's happening now in this moment although it could be. I feel like you feel depleted of your compassion and sympathy, and they feel this too. They know you're very discerning and careful about who you love and where you invest your time, love, and energy. They actually admire how smart, independent, and compassionate you are. I feel like deep down they know you love so deeply. It's just the energy you give off.
The purpose of this relationship is to teach the both of you how to get out of your own heads and to open yourself up to new things in life. It's like the both of you are going to be in need of excitement, optimism, and passion. Life may be a little dull and this connection is going to brighten things up for the both of you. I feel like this is a divine relationship and together you will accomplish many things you didn't know you would. It's definitely going to teach you both how to be patient with good things. I also feel like you will both learn to deepen your faith and start listening to your intuition more often. I see both of you learning to let go of things that you deeply held onto for the sake of your own pride and learning how to trust in God's plan for your life. You both will be feeling more confident and like your best selves around each other and when you're apart you'll definitely feel each other's energy even stronger. I also feel like you will go through a lot with this person and it's going to show you that no matter how much time passes, how challenging things get, or how far apart you are, love will always win. Music will be a big thing between you as well. You and this person may overthink your feelings about each other because you never felt anything this deep. It's so easy to just walk away and settle for something less because putting in real time and effort is hard sometimes. It's hard to open up and truly be open with your love and show yourself for who you really are. But for this love, I see both of you learning to surrender and letting go of control.
I see them realizing they like themselves better with you and taking actions to open themselves up to you. I feel like they're going to be very excited when they pursue you about their feelings and they have this very gleeful, childlike energy when it comes to you. Not in an immature way either. It's like they feel safe and comfortable around you. You bring happiness into their life where they only felt darkness. I feel like they're putting down the swords and done being closed off about how they feel. They put themselves in a place to be in a combative energy towards you anytime you wanted to speak your mind to them. It's like they didn't want to understand you and didn't try to be open to a thing you said to them. They stuck to their beliefs and what they felt like they wanted to say or do and shut you out in a way. They're going to reciprocate the love you gave to them back to you. I feel like they're also reflecting back on good memories or conversations they had with you to remind them of how good it feels to be in your presence. They're gonna come in quickly and unexpectedly because they felt eager to act upon their feelings. They are confident things will be very good between you guys and there is so much potential to create in this relationship that they will be ready and determined to make it happen. Like I said before, if they entertained someone else or got with someone else, all they thought about was you. They love you and they been known this, they just never said anything because they were too much in their ego to act upon what they really wanted. I feel like the changes they needed to make, they weren't ready to make, and out of the literal blue you can expect them to express how they feel. If you don't know this person, I feel like you will get in a connection with someone not expecting of this to happen, but then it does and catches you off guard. Of course, every situation is different, but you will know where the pieces fit for your life. Your love moves this person in ways they can't even explain so know that they will mean whatever it is they say to you.
The advice for you is to move on from the past experiences, thoughts, feelings, and people that are interfering with you and your growth. I feel like you'll have let go of things that negatively impact your thoughts about love and this relationship in general. Move at your own pace when it comes to opening up emotionally and be more patient with yourself. There is no need to rush. Things will move at a steady pace for you two anyways because of how they feel as well. I feel like working on your confidence and building stability within yourself will help you in general and in the connection. There may be a certain attitude you've been feeling towards life at this time that may feel apathetic, unhappy, and just a bit miserable honestly. This is the time to focus on changing this, so it doesn't affect you or your relationship later down the road. It's time to let yourself live and experience the feeling of joy. Also let go of the fear of rejection. I know it's easier said than done, but it's affecting your self-esteem negatively to where you don't want to love or open yourself up anymore. You may tell yourself you're fine with being alone, you don't need to be in a relationship, you don't want to be with them anymore, but in reality you actually do. You're hurting over things they did that hurt you or over things from past relationships and it's putting you in a resentful and bitter type of energy. This is what you need to focus on in this very moment. Being mad and angry won't solve anything. It's okay to feel disappointed and upset, but do not live in that energy forever. Don't build your life around your pain. Learn from what happened in your past with them or in general so you can fully open up to this person. Don't allow gossip or other people to get in your head about them. You know how you feel. Other people don't really understand how you feel deep down about certain things and it's not good to always take advice from others. I also feel like if you gossip about things that happen in your love life, it's better to keep things to yourself. This new person or new energy of a current person is someone you are meant to be with. It'll work if both people are willing. You must be willing to do your part as well.
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Pile Three:
Hi pile three! I feel like you and your current or next partner will feel like you are ride or die. I see you both sticking together and never against each other no matter what. I feel like even when you may argue or disagree you come back together quickly and always forgive each other. You also will be deeply intimate with each other in every way, and I feel like they'll never want to let you go. I'm feeling this energy like you both will have gone through a lot in terms of love, and taking deep breaths to relax yourself will benefit you greatly and help to loosen up a bit, especially if you've been feeling tense emotionally. I feel like for those of you who know this person already, they are sorry about neglecting you and not being as supportive and loving as they could've been. You may not trust them or have a hard time listening to anything they say because of how they've disappointed or betrayed you in some way. Take that how it resonates. For others I feel like sometimes you may doubt this person's love for you and not fully trust that they mean what they say because of your past. They will be a bit distracted or not as focused on you in the beginning of the connection/relationship because I feel like they may be focused on work, or something else is taking up their time and energy. I definitely see if this is a current relationship, you're going through a bit of a rough patch, and you don't feel as open and trusting when it comes to this person. They feel like they're going to have to dig deep within themselves to learn how to better express their love and make certain life changes because they don't want you to leave them or see you with someone else for that matter.
The relationship itself will be balanced and harmonious between you. I feel like you bring light to their world and help them understand themselves and love better than they ever have. I feel like the relationship is going to help both of you feel more complete and happier with each other. At times both of you feel dissatisfied and a lack of confidence in the connection because of fear. These fears are things that kept the both of you stuck and feeling like you had to escape this relationship or intimacy in general. I feel like both of you dealt with toxicity in love. I see you and this person are both people who overthink your feelings and experiences to the point where you may self-sabotage or make fear-based decisions at times. I feel like you and this person will be going through a phase in your life where work could be draining, you're dealing with family conflicts, conflict in your relationship, or just in life. Whatever it is, things have felt a bit cold and lonely emotionally, either during your current relationship or when you meet your new person. You're both going to be deeply in love but in the initial stages of the connection, I feel like things will be a little dull and not as emotional between you. I see them feeling a bit insecure and unsure of their self. I feel like they're learning their self-worth and trying to feel more grounded within themselves because the changes that are happening around them are a bit overwhelming and I feel like they're trying to embody an independent and self-assured energy. Sometimes they also may come off as very confident and like everything is fine, maybe even a bit egotistical at times. I feel like they're going to be trying to hold onto you and the relationship and trying to do just enough to keep you from leaving, but not enough to maintain the relationship. You may feel a bit sad and shut out by them in a way and I feel like they're too distracted to really notice or empathize with how you're feeling. They're going feel unhappy with what they have materialistically speaking and taking you for granted in a sense. It's like they're hyper focused on boosting themselves up and too scattered to actually see how they're affecting the connection. I see they feel deep love for you, but I see them trying to hide how they really feel and only reveal so much because they feel like how they feel is a burden to them in some way. I feel like in a way they are at a distance from you, and they feel like if they allow themselves to feel too much, they're going to lose control in some way. I feel like this person doesn't necessarily know how to multitask. They're also very scared of change. When they focus on the relationship, they really focus on it, but their main priorities or what they value more comes first. They could feel like in order to have a relationship for the long run they have to be financially stable. They want to feel good and abundant so they can share this with their partner. I feel like they just need someone who will believe in them and support them. Someone who will be patient. I see they will have their guard up and they're carrying this heavy weight because deep down they are actually so stressed out, they just don't share their burdens with others. I feel like they're going to be a little upset with themselves because they feel like they're missing out on some type of change or opportunity to physically be there with you, but they're trying to do things in a way they feel like is right. Take that how it resonates. For some of you, this person literally can't be there physically right now so they're focusing on what they can control. Whether that means they're incarcerated, in a different city/state, or somehow just not near you. They will open up to you about how they feel it's just going to take some patience. They'll need to let go of their ego and be more open to change and learn to balance their priorities out a bit more.
The energy they'll give off is someone who is very confident within themselves and I feel like they are someone who has game. They definitely pull people in a charming way. I feel like they are used to getting their way and with you things are different. They feel like they fell in love with you in a mysterious way. Almost like it was very sudden and unexpected. They didn't think things would go the way they did or will between you guys. I also feel like they will do things to test your love for them. Maybe intentionally or maybe just habitually speaking. They feel deeply for you, so they question whether you feel the same way. They give off this energy like they're going to be enjoying themselves and life. I also feel like they have a bit of an old school vibe. Like early 2000's player vibes. It's giving Justin Timberlake, Usher, Chris Brown. They're also very flirty and playful. I also feel like they're gonna feel like they enjoy being around you and things are fun. However, they don't feel like this is just some little one-night stand, summer fling type of thing. They want to love you. They just have this image they portray, and I feel like you see right past it. They hide their true feelings and I feel like intuitively you'll know this. They either already have or will be someone who gets caught up in the superficial things. I feel like they did have that image of trying to be someone who got it like that when they really don't. They're guarded in love and trying to pretend to be someone they aren't. Unfortunately, they're gonna need to slow down and take a deep look within and they are going to be forced to do this by divine intervention. I feel like they spend more money than they have, they love the finer things, and they feel materialistic things bring happiness, but they're going to come to realize that's not what makes them happy. They were impulsive, reckless, and a little too free spirited. I feel like they give off this foolish and naive energy. A bit childish even. However, it's their ego. Around the time when you are meeting or getting in a commitment with this person, I feel like they're going to be closing this chapter of their life and learning that they need to grow up. For some of you they messed up with you many times and they're going to want to make up for this. They're in this fantasy of not really knowing how to discern between what is temporary and what isn't. I feel like you just gotta have some patience with them because they are learning. Compassion is needed from you and even if they don't show that they appreciate it, they really do. They know you love them. Despite everything that you may have gone through with them and even them not understanding what temporary fulfillment is, through all this confusion they are only sure of one thing and that is you. You bring balance to their life. I feel like they're going to be going through some karma, legal matters, or a situation where they're facing the consequences of their actions in some way. So, if they're struggling it's just their karma and a valuable life lesson not to take things for granted, especially people who deeply love and care for them. If this is a current person, I feel like they're thinking of the gossip surrounding the connection with you and maybe just gossip about themselves too. They're guilty and if they deceived you, I'm hearing others know about this. Their ego just felt a need to prove others wrong, but they can't hide the truth about who they really are forever. The truth came to light and they're guilty about all of the wrong doings they have done. I feel like people they thought loved them deceived them too as a result of their karma for deceiving you and others and trying to manipulate the outcome of fate. I feel like they're starting to see how they may have judged you and treated you unfairly. They listened to another person gossip about you and made the mistake of taking their side. I feel like they released this person and they're seeing how they were deceived by them.
I see your person resting, trying to spend time self-reflecting, & trying to sleep off how they feel about everything. They want to protect this connection from outside interferences, and I see them healing. They're hoping for a miracle or something grand to happen that will bring change and growth into their life.
How they feel about you is like you lead them in a positive direction. They feel lost without you. You inspire them, motivate them, encourage them, love them, and your very supportive. I feel like you bring them so much joy and happiness. With you they have sight, and they feel a drive to change their life for the better. They want you. No matter how they may act or what front they put on, they want to be with you and only you. They regret not being there for you the way you deserve deep down. They had to do all these things just to distract themselves from feeling how they really feel about you. They want to admit it to you that they were wrong about how they may have acted or treated you and I feel like when they do they know you're going to take pride in it. But not in a bad way, you just know they were wrong and hearing them admit it to you is relieving. I feel like because you want to make sure they're aware of how they hurt you. I'm hearing the song "Here Comes the Sun". I feel like this is a sign clarity and healing are coming. Joy is on its way, and I feel like aside from the worldly things, they know they love you no matter what. This could be someone you grew up with or knew from a younger age for some of you. You've been there through it all. I feel like you met this person when they had nothing. You witnessed them change up and reach a higher point in life just to fall down. But there you are, there for them. You are their backbone. But it's been lonely waiting for them to reciprocate. You give and give, and they know it's their turn to give back. They don't want you to leave them or be unfaithful in some way. Maybe in the past for those of you who are with this person, you both deceived each other. They don't want this to happen and they're afraid you may be unfaithful to them. That's why communication is a bit difficult. Talking to them is challenging at times. They're a bit combative and I feel like they don't necessarily listen or hear you out. They also feel like you may be like this to them too. Even if you guys don't have a history of deceiving each other and this is all fresh, communication is still a bit challenging. Sometimes a little conflict can be healthy and create a feeling of passion between you when it's resolved but be sure not to let your ego just create stress and arguments for the sake of being right. I feel like now is a good time to just go with the flow and let things fall into place. You're a light in their life and I feel like they're at a standstill and feeling a bit stagnant with you right now, but it's because they're learning to see things from a different perspective. You're a bit irritated with them, because of how they've treated you but the best thing to do is reflect and take some time to relax and think before you rush into speaking your mind or acting a certain way towards them. Having more compassion always helps, even when you're tired of loving. If you're overly stressed take a step back and ground yourself. I feel like they just want to get past this with you. All of the challenges and obstacles you've been through together, they just want to overcome these hard times with you. They know the easiest thing to do is leave and maybe that's what they did instead of working things out with you because they know when you speak your mind you really speak it. They could be scared to really open up about how they feel because they know how you feel and how you're upset. They also know how you communicate when you're stressed, you can be a bit hostile or irritable, but for good reason. I see them letting go of this victim mentality and realizing the pain and disappointment they've caused you too. They feel like you guys complete each other and I see them wanting to marry you. Acts of service could be a love language here and I see them really wanting to take care of you and just support you. I'm hearing "in sickness and health". They're finally going to see the way forward with you clearly. I feel like they want to build with you and create success together.
They also feel like you have too much pride too sometimes. Your egos clash, but I see you letting go of your pride and just opening up to them. You’re tired of fighting, arguing, not talking, or just always wanting to be right and so are they. I feel like no one is truly right and both of you are in the wrong in your own ways.
The purpose of this relationship is to teach both of you how to be true to yourselves. I see you both learning to set healthier boundaries and how to express your true feelings positively. This person is learning how to mature emotionally meanwhile you’re learning to mature mentally and change the way you perceive and see into situations. You both bring each other so much joy and love. I feel like you also heal each other’s inner child. I see you both creating the family and home life you’ve always wanted as a child. That revolves around stability, love, security, peace, safety, & a foundation that isn’t temporary. I feel like you both want to have a good life. I mean who doesn’t you know? But together you will both complement each other in ways that are perfect. I feel like you were both divinely made for each other. That’s cliche but it’s true. This is a connection God is helping to be restored and healed. You both could’ve even prayed for God to mend things between you in some way. I see both of you strengthening your faith and learning how to be optimistic even in the hardest of times. You’re both stronger and able to endure more things in life because of everything you’ve been through or will go through together. All things will work together for the greater good.
Their next actions are to heal and spend time self reflecting learning more about themselves. I see them alone, in solitude trying to understand how they feel and why they do the things they do. It’s like they’re trying to understand how everything they’ve ever done led up to the point they’re already in or will be. Especially in the relationship I feel like they want to learn from their mistakes and change their approach. They want to love you better and be better for the connection and for themselves. They are tired of temporary things. I see them learning their worth and how to truly value themselves and love. They’re learning to have respect, understanding, compassion, and patience. I also feel like they’re someone who was stuck in their ways for a long time. I see them gaining clarity about the person they were and how their actions affected this connection or how they love in general. They will express their feelings to you and come clean about how much they’ve been hiding in terms of their love for you. I also see an apology for some of you. I also see they’re going to be more dedicated and faithful. I see them being more perseverant and not giving up at first sight of complications. They’re learning that facing challenges head on and learning to work through them and problem solve is better than just running and ignoring the problems they face. Especially when it comes to saying what needs to be said and doing what needs to be done. They’re maturing in ways they’ve never imagined. Obviously there is always a point in life where we must literally grow up and face things that are uncomfortable in our adult life and they’re learning that those temporary ways and things from their teenage years or young adult life isn’t the way to live forever. Life isn’t always going to be all fun and carelessly adventurous. We must take the time, energy, and effort to nurture and care for the things we want to grow. We can’t just be flighty and scattered all the time and expect things to flourish in a productive and long term way. I see them learning this and making the changes to be more diligent and practical about their approach to the relationship and their life. I also see them being more appreciative of you and the good things in life. They’re going to be more responsible and I see them developing integrity.
The advice for you is to be more patient. Love yourself more, forgive, and take the time to nurture those parts of you that feel most vulnerable. I feel like if you’re stressed out and feeling very tense that is a sign you need time to ground yourself and pull your energy back towards you. Find ways to create peace and stability emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. You don’t want to take out negative feelings on others accidentally or unintentionally. It’s easy to project our fears and insecurities on others when we are overwhelmed or burdened by thoughts. It’s also good to communicate how we feel, but not coming from a scattered or negative way. Communicate your emotions in a healthy way not in a way where you are blaming others or being a bit insensitive. Carefully express how you feel. Giving yourself the time to feel your emotions and sort them out before explaining them always helps. I also feel like be careful and discerning about who you consult in for advice. Don’t always listen to others opinions or feelings about your situations. Nobody knows what’s best for you like you do. Sometimes people will have good advice for you, but not always. Not everyone understands your situation and some people are biased. I feel like you can overthink your feelings and experiences at times and it puts you in a place of fear and self sabotage. You may feel trapped in your mind and the hurt replays over and over in your mind. Know that your life doesn’t only consist of betrayal and deception. It’s not meant to be continuously painful. It’s all about how you see it and your perspective on your experiences. Do you try to see things positively? There is a lesson in everything you go through & even if you don’t understand things right away you will in time. But it doesn’t mean to stop living and enjoying life when you feel hurt. Life involves taking chances and risks because you never know what may happen. But how will you learn and experience things if you don’t allow yourself to? Moving past betrayal and traumatic experiences is important for your growth and your future. Self reflection and spending time in solitude will help you understand yourself better and how you feel. You will overcome every challenge you face even if it doesn’t seem like it. Time never stops and you heal with time even when you don’t want to or have a hard time moving forward. You are forced to move forward always. It’s good to listen to other peoples ideas or plans and come together with people who inspire you or help you grow. Even if it’s forgiving those who have hurt you and working with them to create a better outcome. You gotta learn to trust yourself more and tap into your inner voice. Not your fear or your critical mind, your intuitive side. Your inner wisdom. Be more kind to yourself too. I feel like you may be self critical at times and overthink the negative things you don’t like about yourself and others. Change the way you approach others and situations. Cultivate the feeling of confidence and strength. Find what moves you. What brings you joy and creativity? I also feel like when someone hurts you or is a bit rude and judgmental over you, try to remain calm and collected. It’s best to approach situations kindly and mindfully. Don’t react impulsively and irrationally. It’s time to get out of your head and more into your physical life. That involves making changes, taking action, leading your life in a more positive direction. Rather than staying still and overthinking everything, start doing and feeling. Own your energy and show off that confidence!
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Pile Four:
Hi pile four! I feel like your person is in love with you and no matter what happens they love you. Even if you aren’t talking they just want you to know they deeply care for you and I feel like they hope you feel the same for them. They also think about you a lot and people think their crazy for feeling so deeply for you but they won’t deny their love. I also feel like some of you may meet this person after an ending of a tough relationship. Others of you already know this person and after a tough phase of your relationship with them I feel like you’re in this energy of feeling a bit triggered by them, but you’re independent and I see you focused on positive things and moving forward no matter what. You don’t let things get to you and control the way you behave or live your life. I feel like you’re very confident and true to yourself. You know your worth and you know when to set the limit and establish boundaries. You’re very passionate and strong willed. I feel like they love this about you. I feel that after facing tough challenges, obstacles, setbacks, and hard situations you’re maturing and evolving in every way. I feel like something someone else or this person did triggered you and pushed you to endure painful things that pushed you into becoming who you truly are.
I feel like if you guys ever argue or get into tough situations they will want to resolve it quickly because they don’t like to be on bad terms with you. Especially over little things. They feel it’s a waste of energy to be mad or angry. They’d rather be loving you and enjoying things. I feel like you both can’t sleep and you struggle a bit when you’re upset with each other. I see that you got them invested in you. They want to change their ways and love you in the way you deserve. I’m not even hyping you up but the energy doesn’t lie. I feel like things will be very balanced between you and this is someone you will build with financially and romantically. The type of relationship you’ll have for the long run. I feel like you dealt with that noncommittal, doubtful, & unfaithful energy. Either from them or your past relationship. I feel like you’re fighting for love and you’ve endured so much loss and hardship just trying to get the things you want in life. In this relationship I feel like you may be a bit tired and emotionally drained in a way because of all you’ve experienced. There is deep love and passion here but I see you’re going to be struggling with feeling enthusiastic and empathetic because of some type of deception you’ve dealt with. Your trust isn’t there as much as it could be and you’re guarded. I feel like you’re being logical and taking your time with opening yourself up instead of just acting on a desire or a temporary feeling. You’re standing on business fr. I see you don’t let people in easily and they’re gonna have to fight for your love. It’s like prove it. “Don’t say it to me, I want you to show me” energy. You’re letting go of past energies and feelings and just going through a massive change. I feel like you’re ready for new things and making healthier decisions in love and life overall. You’ve been broke down and completely hurt in terms of love and you aren’t tolerating any less than you deserve. I feel like In the beginning of the relationship things will be challenging and they’ll take time to progress. You’re very loving, nurturing, and empathetic but you are also very generous with your love and I feel that you’ve been taken advantage of in the past so you won’t come off as this right away. You are going to be getting over insecurities and letting go of bad habits that create fear. I feel like you’re guarding your heart and protecting your energy so you don’t get manipulated or charmed. For some of you if this is a current partner, they may have did this to you and you’re just not having it. I see you focused on yourself and growing. Although you will love this person you won’t be very open at first. Things are a bit mysterious here and I feel like sometimes it’s hard for them to read your energy and understand how you really feel. You’re very independent and self assured and I feel like they know you don’t need anyone so apart of them feels insecure and like they aren’t good enough for you. They’re used to toxic relationships and codependency but you aren’t like this. You aren’t controlling and obsessive. You’re grounded and you know what you want and you’re very sure of yourself. I mainly see that in the beginning things will be moving slowly and you‘ll be making this person work for your love in a positive way. You have self control and I feel like your not just someone who does things in a irrational and uncontrolled way. You influence and lead others and you push this person to have to change and grow in order to be with you. Your standards for love are high. I feel like they even tried to tell you what they think you want to hear just to get you more invested, but they aren’t fooling anyone. They don’t know how to approach you and I feel like they’re a lil bit intimidated. They may even ask other people for help to try and be smarter about their approach. I see them trying hard to attract you. Im hearing “come correct, or don’t come at all”.
The energy they’ll be in is feeling accomplished and successful. They see building a relationship with you as a goal. They want you in their life for the long run and they’re giving this energy like they’re ready to commit and invest in a life with you. I also see marriage strongly. They’re someone who is learning how to express themselves and they’re doing all they can to study you and new things overall. They’re a bit shy too. At least with you they are when it comes to talking about their feelings. I see they’re someone who watches and tries to calculate all their steps and they get information about you from others or they have ways of finding things out. They watch you or observe all that you do so they can learn to read you. I see them working on their financial stability and how to create long term opportunities. They want to feel successful and happy with you and in life in general and they’re spending time alone educating themselves on all the things they want to invest in. They never really had joy that lasts and they want this. They’re tired of the temporary things and I feel like them spending time alone is helping them cleanse their energy and life of the things that do not serve them or the connection with you. They feel a bit rejected by you because they may have approached you in a way that was flirty and a lil bit immature and after asking for help from others or something like that they were able to get a response or reaction from you in some way. They’re learning how to approach you and what you like from a partner. I see them learning to love you in your love language. They know this love is worth putting in the time and effort for. They don’t know how you got them the way you do but you just move them in ways no one can. I feel like they are learning deep lessons and becoming more self aware. They’re definitely going to be very determined and focused on building and investing. So if that means they’re working overtime or just doing things with more care, effort, and patience it’s because they’re creating stability and security so they can invest in a future with you. They might even be private about their feelings or not as open and affectionate towards you. Their energy changed after you may have rejected them in a way and it’s because they’re showing you instead of trying to explain it. For some of you I see them literally writing you a hand written letter, song, or poem.
They feel like you want something grand. Like they know your standards are high and you don’t accept the bare minimum. I feel like they’re going to surprise you in some way. They feel you’re not being as open and expressive with your love right away. They feel your energy and they see how you’re focused on your goals and more permanent things. They see you as someone who is very faithful, loyal, and caring. They feel you’re determined to get what you want and they see how disciplined and goal oriented you are. They know you aren’t going to make foolish or impulsive decisions. They feel like you express the deepest part of yourself when you know it’s safe to. Even though you are open and genuine, you don’t just submit quickly. It takes time and trust for you to open up wholeheartedly. It takes literal action and change for you to believe someone is actually invested in you for the right reasons. You don’t waste your time or energy. For those who are currently with this person, they feel like they pushed you to be this way because of how they‘ve hurt you. They feel like they know your pain and they understand how you feel because they’ve been betrayed too. They want to heal with you and I feel like they see how you’ve grown and overcome so much. They’re inspired by your growth and how much you’ve changed. I feel like you’ve come out of a place of depression and apathy and they see how your depression and sadness has turned you into someone who is careful and smart about everything you do. Even with who you spend your time with. You turn them on and they’re doing things for you they’ve never done before. For current relationships, I feel like they miss you and they need you more than you know. They feel like you know more about love than they do and they’re trying to show you how they’re learning how to love you. They’re trying to show you that they’re changing. They’re seeing you turn dreams into reality and you don’t want to just live in this fantasy of what things could be. You go out and actually make things happen or at least try to. They’re beyond grateful to have you in their life and they see you’re very grateful yourself. For some of you, you have a baby with this person and they’re so thankful you’re the one they have a baby with. They see how you sometimes are a perfectionist and you fear things going a way that doesn’t serve your interests but not in a negative way. You’re just very calculated and you plan things out in a very organized and strategic way. You’re very protective over your energy and your heart and they feel like right now you’re being patient with yourself and in this period of rest and rejuvenation. You’re healing and creating balance within yourself and your life. I feel like they may feel you have a fear of abandonment and you fear getting too close or letting someone really close to you because they may just up and leave you. You’ve been betrayed either by them or yes a past person and they are aware of how you are when it comes to trusting. They are co-dependent on you right now because they need you. They need your help, your support, your advice, your love, your kindness. Just you in general. They’re scared to lose you and they feel like you’re the only one who genuinely cares for them. They’re trying to reciprocate what you give and love you in the way you need to be loved. You give them what they need and they’re so thankful for you. They may not show it yet but they are trying to. They’re working behind the scenes to prove it to you. They even think about you before they go to sleep and they think about kissing you. I’m hearing the song candy kisses when she says “like a kid in a candy store, always wanting to come back for more”. They’re realizing with you the love is true and they don’t want to miss another second with you. The love between you guys is insanely deep.
The purpose of this relationship is to teach you both about a long term relationship and a love that is meant to last. This connection is one that is made for marriage. It’s all about planning, determination, patience, and discipline. I definitely feel like this person is going to purpose to you for some of you. Take that how it resonates. This relationship is going to teach you to let go of things that need to be released and I see this is a blessing for the both of you from God. It is meant to show you that good things take time and all the hard work and energy you give always pays off in due time. I see you’re meant to have a family and build a foundation with this person. Whether it be creating a business together, a big family legacy, or just something that creates generational wealth and stability. You’re creating a line of abundance, security, happiness, and joy. This is a such a good vibe I get from your connection and no matter how hard things get between you, I feel like you always come back together. This is a big lesson for this person especially. They were immature and a player. I feel like they chose to give their heart to you and change their ways to keep you in their life. They learned how to change and step into their divine masculine or embody the energy they needed in order to take initiative and lead themselves and others in a positive way. I see you both sacrificing temporary things in order to build together. God is with y’all!!
I see them using the time they have alone or in separation from you to self reflect and tap into their inner voice. They’re learning more about themselves and how to guide themselves using the wisdom they’ve gained. They’re just waiting for some type of miracle or something to happen to give them this epiphany on what to do. They feel kinda stuck like they don’t know what next action or step to take and they’re going a lil crazy thinking about you, missing you, or wanting to be with you. I see an apology for some of you coming in. They’re sorry about how they may have disappointed you. They’re stressed out and they don’t feel as successful as they want to be. They feel like with you things aren’t moving the way they want them too as well. They’re feeling stuck and they need your comfort and your love right now because they’re going through some pressure and overwhelming situations. They’re coming out of indecision and I see them making a choice to show up and prove themselves to you. They wasted your love and took it for granted in some way or for others they feel like your love hasn’t been appreciated the way it should be and I see them coming towards you with a gift, opportunity, or offer in some way. They’re done with this challenging energy they may have had. I feel like they had other options or people interfering with their feelings and they’re seeing things more clearly. They’re sad and trying their best to be positive. I feel like when they come towards you it’s because they genuinely need you to be there for them and support them. They need you and even if they may not express it in a very emotional way or literally ask for it, they will mean what they say. They felt love at first sight with you and they been knew it was real they just weren’t ready in that moment to commit. You’re a bit stubborn and I feel like your heart is very guarded and I see they will be trying their very best to get close to you, especially with all the stress and pressure that they’re under they’re still trying to make the time to show up and give you what you need.
The advice for you is to let go of any hostility or the need to be right. Fighting won’t solve anything and I feel like being defensive and blocking this person out isn’t either. It’ll be a time to have compassion and love. Whether it’s now or later. Whenever this person is in your life. It is safe to love and right now it’s important to spend time doing productive things. Don’t gossip or tell everyone your business about this relationship either. Like friends or what not. Not everyone needs to be in the mix. I feel like you and this person will be connecting deeply and building a friendship together. Things may be lonely and a little bit sad right now for you but spirit is saying to stop and don’t isolate yourself any longer. You’ve been lonely and feeling down and it’s important not to rush anything including yourself. I feel like if there’s people in your life that aren’t healthy or positively influencing you it’s time to let them go. Creating change by doing things differently and letting go of things that aren’t good for you will help you bring this in a bit faster. Also be sure to let go of any judgmental energy you may have. You’re healing from betrayal and past trauma and you don’t want to keep going in circles so be sure to self reflect and connect with yourself deeply so you can find healthy ways of coping with your negative feelings instead of talking about them with others and creating more negativity for yourself. You may be a lil bit judgmental over yourself and the negative feelings you face and spirit is saying to feel them through and release them. Be more private and try your best to reflect on the feelings you feel so you can better understand the root of them or why you’re still feeling down. It’s best to focus on yourself especially if you’re feeling lonely. When you feel lonely it’s for a reason and if you’re in this period of being pushed into solitude it’s because that’s what you need to cleanse and rid yourself of the negative energy weighing on you.
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elitadream · 7 months
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When we think of Mario and Peach's chemistry in the games, any rescue scene is usually what comes to mind. But there's one bit of Mareach interaction I just had to talk about because it's honestly one of my all-time favorite moments with these two.
The introduction sequence of Luigi's Mansion 3.
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We see our characters on a bus ride, and the two of them are sitting side by side. Peach appears to be laughing at something Mario said, and they're both having a great time. All goes smoothly until Toad swerves to the right, causing the passengers to lose their balance and bump into each other.
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It takes them a second to steady themselves, and the first thing Mario does as he opens his eyes again is glance at Peach with a smile. But it's not his trademark grin. His expression is quite softer than usual, and meeker too.
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Even rarer still: he then lets out a timid chuckle. Something I've personally never seen him do in any other game. He's being shy, bless him. Not openly flustered or delighted, but actually shy.
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And what does Peach do? She returns his smile with a bright and gleeful "Yahoo!". An all too characteristic exclamation that she has undoubtedly borrowed from him over time.
It's a very small and brief moment. But OMG does it say a lot about their dynamic.
It captures everything that I find so very charming and endearing about their unspoken affection, and it's a very good example of how I imagine those calm and blissful moments between them to be like. The moments we never see as players, but which are surely there as well.
I wish there was one instance where we got to fully see what a pleasant and peaceful day was like for them. But if this is the closest thing we're ever going to get, then I'm okay with that.
Because this scene alone is downright adorable and it makes me very happy. 😊💞
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misstrashchan · 3 months
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I know people have picked up on the board game scene in RWBY V2 Episode 2 (Welcome to Beacon) as foreshadowing the events of the show, but for funsies I want to take a stab at how it foreshadows the general arcs of each four kingdoms myself.
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So we have Blake playing as the Kingdom of Vale, and she's completely unaware of the events of the game unfolding and not really paying attention, clearly distracted.
"Alright Blake, it's your turn!"
"Huh? Sorry, what am I doing?"
"You're playing as Vale, trying to conquer the four kingdoms of Remnant!"
"...Right."
The Vale arc is the first three volumes of RWBY, where all our protagonists are at Beacon, but during that time, much like Blake during the game, they're unaware of the larger conflict with Salem, and aren't actively participating in the war at that point. They are ignorant and reactive instead of active. However it's ironic that Blake plays as Vale, since the reason she's not paying attention to the game and seems distracted is because, out of all the main characters in the Vale arc, she is the one most concerned about being kept in the dark and that they're ignorant as to what's really going on.
Blake: I just, I don't understand how everyone can be so calm.
Ruby: (approaching Blake) You're still thinking about Torchwick?
Blake: Torchwick, the White Fang, all of it! Something big is happening and no one is doing anything about it!
She also leaves the game during her turn, much like how she runs away after the FoB and the end of the Vale arc.
"Right. Well, I think I'm done playing, actually"
Yang is playing as Mistral, and she's the most savvy and knowledgeable (hah) player, winning many rounds of the game, teaching Weiss how to play, and has the other players falling into her trap cards.
"Heh, pretty sneaky sis, but you just activated my trap card!"
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There's two ways this can be interpreted, with how the Mistral arc (volumes 4-6) is when our protagonists start to gather more knowledge and awarenesses of themselves and the world. It's also in Mistral that our heroes have their most decisive victory so far. It's fitting to have Yang playing as Mistral then, since during the Mistral arc she's the one who who learns from Tai to fight smarter, and to question the authority figures around her from Raven, and after confronting her in the vault is the one who retrives the relic of knowledge.
But, most of the losses our heroes experience are because of Cinder, who is from Mistral, and them falling into her own "trap cards" with the Fall of Beacon being orchestrated by her, killing Pyrrha and Ozpin. And in Atlas the same, with her manipulating Ironwood, undermining the heroes plans to evacuate everyone from Atlas, and killing Penny. She often finds ways to trick and exploit others, and is most dangerous when overlooked and underestimated, like falling into a trap.
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Which brings me to Ruby playing as Atlas, where Ruby and Yang have this exchange after Yang's trap card is activated by Ruby:
"Giant Nevermore! If I roll a seven or higher, fatal feathers will slice your fleet in two!
"But! If you roll lower a six or lower, the Nevermore will turn on your own forces!"
"That's just a chance I'm willing to take"
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In the Atlas arc (volumes 7-9) the theme of trust and taking risks is very prevalent. Like the move Yang makes in the game it is a risky one, that could end badly for her, but it is one worth taking nonetheless. They take the risk of trusting Ironwood but he ends up turning on our heroes. Oscar takes a risk trusting Hazel and Ozpin, as well as Emerald later on being accepted into their group, and it ends up working out for them. Ruby takes a risky chance in sending a message out to all of Remnant and evacuating Atlas, which saves a lot of people, but they still lose some, including Penny, a dear friend of Ruby's.
"Noooooo! My fearless soldiers!"
"Eh, most of them were probably androids anyways"
"Goodbye my friends... you will be avenged!"
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Ruby acts distraught when losing her turn in the game as Atlas, expressing anguish over losing her friends who are described as androids by Yang, just like how Ruby is incredibly depressed and broken after the Fall of Atlas in V9, mourning the loss of Penny, who was both a sentient android and Ruby's friend. (I do wonder if Ruby's comment on avenging her friends might be foreshadowing for her wanting to avenge Penny's death in the future, like how Jaune tried to 1v1 Cinder in V5 to avenge Pyrrha, but I think it's too soon to say)
As a sidenote the fact it is a Nevemore in this turn that has a chance of turning on Yang or helping her is interesting, as it puts me in mind of two characters who can turn into ravens/crows, like the bird and poem Nevermore is associated with. It could pertain to Raven, someone who turns on Yang in v5 during the battle of Haven, but appears to help her and her friends in the V9 epilogue. It could also be about Qrow and his semblance, since during the Atlas arc it begins to evolve so that it is not simply a bad luck semblance, but one that can generate good luck too. In other words he can affect whether the chances are in people's favour or not.
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After defeating Ruby (Atlas) Yang says this:
Yang: Not until I draw my rewards! Which are double this round thanks to the Mistral Trade Route!
Ruby: Bah!
Yang: Oh, and what's this? The Smugglers of Wind Path?
Ruby: Bah! Bah, I say!
Yang: I say, it looks like I'm taking two cards in my hand!
After the Fall of Atlas Cinder retrives not one but two relics for Salem, and with Atlas falling into Mantle, two kingdoms are destroyed in one fell swoop.
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Then it's Weiss's turn. Weiss is playing as Vacuo, but has no idea how to play the game. Yang takes it upon herself to teach Weiss how to play and what she can do to win the game:
Yang: Well, Weiss, it's your turn.
Weiss: I have... absolutely no idea what's going on.
Yang: (Yang slides up beside her and puts her hand on her shoulder.) Look, it's easy! You're playing as Vacuo which means that all Vacuo-based cards come with a bonus.
Weiss: That sounds dumb.
Yang: See, you've got Sandstorm, Desert Scavenge... Oh, oh! (She pulls up a card to show Weiss.) Resourceful Raider! See, now you can take Ruby's discarded Air Fleet—
Ruby: (crying) Nooo!
Yang: —and put it in your hand!
We know from the end of V9 that what remains of the airfleet of Atlas, as well as the airfleet of Mistral and Vale, have all flocked to Vacuo's defence. What remains of the kingdom of Atlas, the airfleet, but most importantly the people, have now fled to Vacuo and are trying to make a home there.
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Yang continues to give Weiss advice on how to win the game to Weiss, building her up, until Weiss starts to get arrogant, believing she's going to win the whole game and is the one in control:
Yang: And since Vacuo warriors have an endurance against Natural-based hazards, you can use Sandstorm to disable my ground forces and simultaneously infiltrate my kingdom! (Yang points a finger at Weiss.) Just know that I will not forget this declaration of war.
Weiss: And that means...
Ruby: You're just three moves away from conquering Remnant!
But then Yang turns on Weiss, activating her trap card, and Vacuo loses.
Since this is may be foreshadowing for the Vacuo arc that we haven't seen yet, I can only speculate what this might mean.
...But judging from the V9 extended epilogue and the books, my best guess would be that if Yang/Mistral is meant to be in part Cinder/Salem and their forces, then Weiss as Vacuo is in part the Crown. In the extended epilogue Jax and Gillian appear to be recieving help from Tyrian and Mercury, meaning Salem has decided to recruit them to her cause.
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The Crown wants to restore the Vacuoan monarchy and detest outsiders, especially Atlesians. They do however wish to protect Vacuo from the same forces that destroyed Beacon, aka Salem, and so they are likely going to be manipulated like Weiss is by Yang in the game, being offered aid and giving them advice on how they can win and achieve their objectives, making them believe they can "conquer Remnant", only for them to realise later they were being tricked and used.
"Once again, Vacuo had been isolated from the conflict raging throughout Remnant—only this time it was an opportunity. With the global CCT network disabled, Vale in ruin, Haven leaderless, and Atlas closed off, Vacuo was theirs for the taking. This was likely their last, best chance for a generation. And it was their only hope to defend Vacuo against whomever had been targeting the other kingdoms. In likelihood they had written off Vacuo, like everyone else did, but if they tried to move against the Crown, they would have an unpleasant surprise.
Vacuo wouldn't break this time around."
Weiss: (Weiss stands and a thunder clap accompanies Weiss' overjoyed psychotic laughter.) Y-yes! Fear the almighty power of my forces! Cower as they pillage your homes and weep as they take your children from your very arms!
Yang: Trap card... (Yang's arm appears holding the card.)
Weiss: Huh?
Yang: (Yang shuffles the pieces on the board, Weiss' pieces disappearing in a puff of smoke.) Your armies have been destroyed.
Weiss: (Weiss slumps in her chair, cries and whines.) I hate this game of emotions we play!
Weiss as Vacuo may lose to Yang after realising they've been tricked, but is offered comfort afterwards by Ruby who relates to her losses and empathises with her, which is interesting since Ruby plays as Atlas. So I'm predicting at the end of the Vacuo arc they'll experience somewhat of a loss, whether that's the Crown, our heroes, or likely both, but Atlas will give support to Vacuo and the two kingdoms will come together to heal and ultimately work together, making steps to overcome their tense history with one another.
"Stay strong Weiss we'll make it through this together!"
"Shut up, don't touch me! "
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...Which does make Weiss specifically playing as Vacuo especially intriguing, as she is the SDC heiress from Atlas, and Vacuo is a kingdom that has suffered the most in being exploited and colonized for it's natural resources by Atlas. From the epilogue it seems like the Schnees are being confronted directly with all the harm that has been caused by their family and kingdom, so I wouldn't be surprised if Weiss recieves a certain amount of focus during the Vacuo arc in deciding what her legacy as an Atlesian and heiress to the Schnee name will be. Moving forward to make amends, maybe inspiring the citizens of Atlas/Mantle to come together with Vacuo so they can all help and support one another, instead of isolating themselves and suffering alone.
Jaune offers to plays Weiss's hand for a turn also, with Weiss refusing:
Jaune: (Begging with both hands folded together.) Come on, let me play your hand for a turn!
Weiss: I'm not trusting you with the good citizens of Vacuo!
Which is reminiscent of how Vacuo is mistrustful of outsiders, as we've seen in After the Fall and Before the Dawn books.
Yang follows up to say that Weiss attacked her own forces, which could reference the infighting in Vacuo, especially with the Crown.
Weiss: Besides, this game requires a certain level of tactical cunning that I seriously doubt that you possess.
Yang: Uhh, you attacked your own naval fleet two turns ago. (Weiss makes an annoyed sound.)
Overall Weiss as Vacuo recieves the most help as any player during their turn, being taught how to play by Yang, offered comfort by Ruby after losing, and Jaune wanting to help her by playing her hand for a turn. This seems to fit with both how all kingdoms have flocked to Vacuo's aid in response to Ruby's message, but also Weiss as a character, who starts out "the loneliest of them all" but gradually opens up and warms up to other people. The crux of her arc being looking outside herself and at the people around her, relating to their struggles and coming to support them and being supported by them leads to her better understanding herself and becoming stronger for it... Which is kind of what the Kingdom of Vacuo needs to learn too!
Following this is Blake's turn as Vale, which I covered at the start of this post, but that's not the end of Vale's turn. We don't actually see it, but we know the aftermath of the game is this:
Yang: Ugh, we should have never let him play!
Ruby: You're just mad cuz' the new guy beat you!
Blake leaves the game during her turn as Vale, and presumably the "new guy" which is likely Neptune, who they'd just been introduced too, takes over her hand as Vale and wins the game of Remnant overall, even beating Yang and her trap cards. This is likely the endgame of RWBY itself, our heroes return to Vale after the Vacuo arc during the last volume for the final stand, where they win.
How and what that victory will look like I don't know, as we don't see the last turn of the game, so yet again this is even more vaguer speculation. Neptune doesn't really have much plot significance so I can't think there's any meaning to that except that he's a minor foil to Jaune, and the line of it being "a new guy" that wins, so maybe someone who recently joins our heroes side in the final act of the story, possibly Mercury or Cinder.
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autistichalsin · 8 months
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Halsin and abandonment issues
One thing I've come to conclude about Halsin's character, based on many parts of his story and some lines he says, is that he might have abandonment issues.
To begin with: he lost his entire family over the years to accidents and disease, per his writer. That's the kind of thing that leaves deep scars- watching everyone you love fade away over years, until at a "comparatively young age" you're the last of your family and turned over to the Druids to be taken care of. (His writer didn't specify an age, but if he was young enough to be "turned over to the Druids" instead of "finding his way there" then it is likely he was not an adult.) There's no time to lose your family that isn't absolutely horrible, but as a young person is far, far worse.
Then there's Halsin's other traumas, all of which involve isolation; he was a prisoner for three years in the Underdark, and despite this, no one thought to come looking for him to save him. He lost most of his fellow Druids in the battle against Ketheric Thorm and the Shadow Curse that followed- and what few didn't die, he still lost their friendship to his leadership position, the "weight of responsibility". His one lasting friend in all of this, Thaniel, was lost to the curse and Halsin spent over 100 years blaming himself, fighting to be the best leader he could at the Grove, and having no one at all he could lean on for any of his burdens. And then he wound up kidnapped again, this time by the goblins, and when he returns, almost all his Druids have been turned against him, some even holding him in contempt. All experiences that are isolating in nature and reinforce to him that he can't rely on anyone else, that he is the only person he can depend on, and that in the end, everyone he cares for is going to leave or die.
It's not just speculation that he feels that way, either. He has several lines about his survivor guilt and isolation:
"[...] there is a burden to being the survivor... the witness to others' tragedies. It only grows heavier with time."
"[...] Grim as it is now, it was worse on the day of the battle. A vivid wound upon my memory. I was lucky - I lived, when so many did not. It would take me a day and a night to recite the names of all the friends I lost."
And lines that indicate he's used to being left, too.
If the player rejects him after he wildshapes (emphasis mine):
"Ah, I see. Well, of course. Back to camp then."
Saying "of course" implies it's not entirely unexpected.
After the final battle, if the player declines to have a celebration and says the party should split up:
"It was always destined to be so, if we prevailed. But the foreknowledge makes it no less bittersweet..."
He was expecting the party not to stick together.
Similarly, if a love-interest player breaks up with him in the ending:
"I see... After all my years of living, I know all too well that nothing lasts forever. Yet a parting can sting, nonetheless. But that just means what we shared was precious, and will live on in my memory. Thank you - I am a richer man for having met you."
The "nothing lasts forever" really sells it, to me, especially because the context makes it clear that he isn't just making a general statement- he's talking about relationships and people. Again- he was expecting it all to end.
His worry in the epilogue, when a solo-romanced player comes to the party with him, hints at this even more: "You could have done anything, gone with anyone... yet you chose me."
He's surprised that the player, even if they're in love, would want to live with him and share his dream. He can't believe they really wanted that- he even says that he keeps expecting to "stir from the dream".
I feel like that shows a lot about how Halsin feels after all the loss he's endured- he doesn't ultimately believe anyone is going to stay with him, whether because they choose to leave him, or because they'll die.
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tsukimefuku · 2 months
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The broken idealist: Higuruma Hiromi
And how the world of JJK viciously punishes idealists.
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Before we start, let’s set some premises:
This is an essay based solely on my opinions and my own knowledge of criminal justice. I’m no professional writer/essayist.
JJK is a critique on unfair systems that reward selfishness and nurture individualistic (oftentimes destructive) behaviors.
One of the main motifs in JJK is (un)fairness.
Even when rewarded by these systems, individuals usually end up alienated (Gojo being the utmost example, but so is Sukuna to some extent).
The world of JJK punishes idealists very harshly. 
I might've read waaaaay too deep into his character (apologies in advance).
I am ABSOLUTELY biased in analyzing this character because I kin Higuruma very hard and identify profoundly with many of his struggles.
[queue “Pigs” by Pink Floyd] Let's do this.
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The ideal of truth and Higuruma choosing to be a criminal defense attorney
Higuruma shows up in the manga as one of the top players of the Culling Games. Throughout a few chapters, Gege introduces him to us as a former criminal defense attorney that has lost it after one of his clients gets his innocence verdict overruled and is unfairly convicted for a crime he didn't commit, triggering Higuruma's cursed technique to awake, ending up in the deaths of the Judge and Prosecutor that contributed for the wrongful conviction.
Along those chapters, we get to see two very interesting things: Firstly, the fact that Higuruma actively chose to be a lawyer, instead of pursuing a career as a judge. Second, his stance and lines about truth, especially this one: "Even if no one else does, I want to keep my eyes open."
Higuruma, for me, is a prime example of how someone moved by truth and justice can become a self-righteous, cynical individual (I'll refrain from the word "villain" because he wasn't ever an actual "villain" in the story). From the get go, when we get more information on his past, we can see his mental state slowly declining as he gets progressively more overworked fighting an unwinnable fight. 
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We have some very important pieces of information from chapter 158: Japan has a 99% conviction rate. The public opinion about defendants is that they're always guilty. Higuruma earns little, works a lot and his job is usually trying for a miracle, to be that 1%. And, finally, that Higuruma chose to fight an unfair system from within. 
That not only has huge parallels with the world of cursed energy, but is one the most important messages I feel that JJK is building up to — you can't reform a broken system from within, because structurally and systematically unfair systems will always push things back into a state of unfairness / status quo. We see this when Gojo says, at the beginning of the manga, that even if he killed all the higher ups at that point in time, other assholes would just take their places. To a more fundamental level, we see it in Yuki's failed efforts to end curses from the perspective of a jujutsu sorcerer, and the way the story is progressing towards a complete rupture with the current state of cursed energy altogether to give place to something new.
The message is: To fight an unfair system from within and by its own rules is and always will be a losing game.
Now to Higuruma's fallout, we have a perfect storm for what happened to him — an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. 
I'll dive a little into criminal law (and c.l. procedure) and make many oversimplifications to get a point across, so I apologize to any other criminal lawyers out there reading this and cringing at the oversimplifications.
In theory, the Criminal Justice System should be preoccupied with the truth. Criminal Law, in essence, is attributing a penalty (prison, fine, death, etc.) to an act (to kill, to rob) described by law as a crime. In that regard, then, one could only suffer said penalty if they actually committed the act that the law described as being a crime. 
Where does truth come into place here?
To investigate if something happened in the world of facts (the real, concrete world) is essentially a search for truth, which to me is very telling of Higuruma's choice in becoming a criminal defense attorney. 
In an unfair system in which 99% of people are convicted, it'd make no sense for this man to become a prosecutor. The prosecution is already benefiting from the system, considering the way the scales are tipped. That's a given.
But regarding the judgeship, things become more interesting. In a fair criminal justice system, the judge is forbidden to engage in probationary activity (which means, basically, that the judge cannot search for evidence, investigate or look for witnesses, he can solely analyze what the defense and prosecution bring to him in order to give a verdict — the judge does not engage in the most important activity in finding the truth).
Why can't the judge do that?
Because when the presumption of innocence is in place, anyone is presumed innocent until proven guilty, ergo, if there is not enough evidence to convict, the person must be acquitted. If the judge engages in that activity, they'd be taking on the prosecution's job — to prove the occurrence of a given criminal act. We have separate places for judging and prosecuting for a reason.
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The scales are already in favor of the prosecution (they literally have THE STATE’S aid ikn the form of police forces to investigate and taxpayer money to foot costs during criminal lawsuits), so anything that might end up harming or weakening the presumption of innocence is strictly forbidden, including having the judge engage in probationary activity. If the lack of evidence is enough to acquit someone, then having the judge searching for evidence automatically harms the presumption of innocence, because if there is not enough evidence to convict someone, the judge MUST acquit. 
In that scenario, then, the best place for someone who wants to search and defend the truth against unfairness is the Defense stand, clearly. 
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Everything said up until now about how the criminal justice system should work is just the theory, however. The reality of it is far sinister. The criminal justice system is a machine perfectly conceived to chew out those who fight for fairness, because fairness is not one of its main goals. It's main goal is serving as an instrument of power (in the most Foucaultian sense of the word) and control over citizens and, to some degree, appease collective concerns about crime rates and violence by making examples out of people, whether they're guilty or not (I could go on a tangent here for hours about the criminal justice system, capitalism and protection of private property by the state, but let's not do that, lol). 
That's why Keita's trial is the perfect storm to break Higuruma's psyche so deeply. All the systematic unfairnesses that exist in the Japanese Criminal Justice System chomp away his ideals — one might say, what constitutes the very core of who he is — and unceremoniously spits it right back in his face. 
Independent defense lawyers are systematically in a worse position regarding resources to gather evidence in their client's favor; it's easier to convict someone who's already under the gavel than to start a new investigation on somebody else and spend even more taxpayer money; to convict a person whom the people deem as guilty soothes the public opinion regarding how well the criminal justice system actually works to "keep society safe from these foul criminals" (not human beings); the appeal is a limited resource in most criminal justice systems, so after one gets their innocence verdict overturned, to get it back is extremely hard.
Everything worked perfectly to break every inch of Higuruma's ideals. It's no use for you to be the only one willing to stare truth in its eyes if everyone else looks away because it's more convenient to let the unfair gears keep turning the way they do. You'll give yourself to unnecessary suffering meanwhile nothing ever changes. This could even help draw a parallel between Higuruma's and Geto's fallouts: to realize how broken the system is, how you can't break a wall with the toy hammer the wall builders give you, and how lonely/depressing/infuriating of an experience it is to realize all this and still know there is absolutely nothing you can do. 
The game is rigged, and if someone ever so chooses to not play by those rules, they're viciously punished.
Now that we've gotten to the breaking part, let's see how it manifests in Higuruma's own cursed technique and domain expansion.
The broken idealist and the cynicism
Someone had made an amazing post about how Higuruma's domain expansion was a perfect demonstration of his own cynicism at the moment his abilities were awakened, but I couldn't find it! So OP, if you by any chance end up reading this, HMU, because what you said will be featured here. (Edit: found it. Thanks, Eugie! The post can be accessed here, and @wolke17 made a deeper analysis after it, take a look at their profile)
In order to talk about Higuruma's cynicism stemming from his disappointment with the criminal justice system, we need to talk about his domain, so that's what we're gonna do now.
In his domain expansion, we meet his shikigami, Judgeman, who is an all-knowing creature responsible for giving off the verdict at the end of the debates between the two parties. According to Higuruma, Judgeman knows absolutely everything about someone's life the moment they enter his domain.
All is well up until now, isn't it? Hm, not so much. There are some very serious philosophical conundrums to having an all-knowing being bestowing judgment (skeptical catholics went crazy over this for many centuries). 
Think about this: in a Courtroom, we have a judge who needs to get to know the facts, and is presented with two different hypotheses about the facts (prosecution and defense), for which the evidentiary activity (collecting evidence) is needed to support one hypothesis or the other. Given that we abide by the presumption of innocence, you don’t even have to prove the defense’s hypothesis to get an acquittal, as long as the prosecution one isn’t proven beyond a reasonable doubt.
What’s the issue with having a judge that is omniscient? 
First off, why would two hypotheses need to be confronted if the judge already knows the answer — if the person did or did not commit the crime?
On another note, now going into more of a “well he’s just judging based on the allegations”, it gets deeper. We have a judge that knows what happened, but simply decides based on the parties arguments. This is a huge issue because firstly, it obliterates the value of truth in the justice system — if criminal law is attributing to a particularly reprehensible action a penalty, and judgeman knows if that action took place or not, yet doesn’t decide according to what happened, but according to who best defends their point of view, it annihilates the very own reason for collecting evidence, the reason that a judgment needs to take place and the reason for criminal law even existing.
In Higuruma's domain, then, truth becomes the least important thing. In there, who has the better argument wins the debate. The judgment that happens within Deadly Sentencing is not about truth, it’s about the game's rules (or, more specifically, his domain's rules) and who plays them better, which makes it all the more ironic that Higuruma sees so much “potential” in the Culling Games due to its rules and established mechanics.
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In a courtroom setting, having an omniscient judge is always, in any scenario, a cynical game of wits, and it fits perfectly with the philosophical fallout Higuruma experienced after Keita's conviction. His perspective got switched from "who deserves to win according to the truth" to "who plays the game better". He lost faith in the criminal justice system, and to a deeper degree, he lost faith in fairness in the world as a whole.
And that's why we can arrive at the conclusion that Higuruma is, in essence, a "broken idealist" character: he's not pandering to the idea that "the winner should be the one who plays the rules better” because he truly believes it; he's doing it out of resentment, because he got time and time again punished and was subjected to a hell of a lot of suffering for upholding his own ideals of truth and fairness. He's not acting, he is reacting to being unraveled and broken the way he was.
It also shows in his discourse regarding the weak, and the way he tries to place himself above what he dubs “the ugliness of people”, as the only one who sees the truth (“darkness is only darkness / people are ugly”). It’s a mirror: he experienced his own helplessness (or weakness) with Keita’s conviction, so in an effort to try and protect whatever is left from his own psyche, he’s actively denying how helpless he really feels by putting himself above the “truly weak”. 
In the end, however, Higuruma kept his idealistic essence alive instead of giving himself over to the story that he told himself as a defense mechanism, unlike Geto, which is why it was possible to bring him back.
Even broken, he remained an idealist at heart.
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written by tsukimefuku ㋡ comments and reblogs are appreciated. do not copy, translate or repost. copycatting is for losers.
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