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tigreblvnc · 23 days

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BLUE LOCK MATCHUP EXCHANGE — @waffledforbreakfast

Your match is...

— Charles Chevalier

✦ I'll be honest, there was someone else on my mind, but since your love languages are NOT AT ALL compatible, I quickly dismissed them.

✦ That said, I'll get back to that at the end of your matchup.

✦ SO.

✦ I didn’t hesitate for long, and Charles' face quickly came to mind.

✦ Our little French imp :)

✦ (It always makes me happy to assign characters from my country to people.)

✦ Your relationship in three words: partners-in-crime.

✦ One of my favorite tropes.

✦ So not a love interest. At least, not directly. I see the relationship more like a younger brother and older sister. Like best friends who end up doing all sorts of crazy stuff together because chaos is your definition of fun.

✦ You know Shidou? Well, Charles is like him but smaller, younger, and very French.

✦ (The anecdote about French arrogance is real)

✦ (Sorry, I won’t uphold our alleged elegance any longer)

✦ The main reason I chose him is that when I read your bio, I thought you needed someone who could keep up with your pace, or even be the one to set the pace, while maintaining your interest and knowing how to introduce new things.

✦ And at the same time… it couldn’t be a people pleaser, you know? I think there’s nothing worse for people who need intellectual stimulation. On the contrary, such people tend to seek out original partners who can stand up to them.

✦ So I was looking for a character with enough bite, and who could be more capricious than Charles when it comes to deciding what to do.

✦ Whether he’ll do it or not.

✦ So we have an ENTP x ENFP duo, which is a very interesting combination because these are among the two most introverted extroverted MBTI types. That is, they can easily be mistaken for INTP and INFP, as their cognitive functions drive them to a need for solitude that can be unusual for an extroverted profile.

✦ A quick MBTI note since I don’t often get ENTPs requesting matchups: ENTPs have a fascinating ability to generate a large number of ideas at an insanely fast pace, making them exceptional brainstormers. They excel at challenging ideas, spotting flaws in arguments, and taking an interest in a wide variety of topics that might seem unrelated. By nature, an ENTP is curious, drawn to intellectual challenges, and unafraid to express their opinions, no matter how caustic. You're also independent, often the jokers who enjoy countering others' arguments, sometimes just for the sake of debate.

✦ On the flip side, all these qualities can be hampered by one of your biggest weaknesses: commitment. By definition, an ENTP cherishes their freedom above all else and particularly dislikes feeling confined by contracts or rules. This often leads you to start a million projects but rarely finish them; once a subject loses its novelty, it also loses its appeal. Like many P-type MBTI profiles, you’ve likely considered dozens of different careers, and your resume is filled with varied experiences that seem to have no connection to each other.

✦ The main difference between an ENTP and an ENFP lies in their auxiliary cognitive function, their second: Introverted Thinking (Ti) for the ENTP, and Introverted Feeling (Fi) for the ENFP. For the ENTP, this means they make decisions by asking themselves, "Is it true? Is it rational?" while the ENFP makes decisions by asking, "Do I like this? Does it align with my values?" This is what sets these two seemingly similar types apart, as they function very differently.

✦ And this will also translate into your relationship with Charles! Because, to get back to the point, you will be together for this matchup.

✦ Clown to clown, basically.

✦ "Relatives tell me I’m 'mature for your age' (which I am aware sounds cringe—bear with me here) or that I worry too much for my future." I think that’s the opposite of Charles, who is very focused on the present and enjoys making the most of what’s happening in the moment. I don’t see him as someone who likes to dwell on the past or think about the future. This might sound like a disadvantage between you two, but it’s actually what makes me think that with him, you’d find it easier to focus 100% on the present. "I like to put myself in/create an environment where I can be a bit more impulsive/reckless without having to worry about large-scale/long-term consequences." Overall, it’s with Charles that these opportunities would arise the most easily.

✦ "I’m well aware that I may hurt some by valuing reason over their emotions or thoughts, but that’s not something I intend to change." And that’s great because I don’t think Charles is the type to like a big people pleaser. On the contrary, he matches better with those whose intentions align with their values, even if it’s at the expense of others. This is very evident in his partnership with Shidou, which works incredibly well on the field.

✦ "But enjoying someone’s company is very much a plus, so as long as they don’t get too close, I’m more than happy to keep them around." As I said earlier when explaining how the ENTP works, I sense a fear of commitment because you don’t want to lose your independence or waste your time. You want to keep your options open, to be free to do what you want at any moment—something you think you’d lose by committing significantly to someone.

✦ To me, Charles is a bit of a free electron… until he finds someone he really clicks with; then he can become super clingy, wanting to be with you all the time to do stuff, have fun, pass the time. I don’t see him liking being alone for long, or if he does, he needs to be deeply engrossed in something. He’s kind of the representation of the arrogant little brother—endearing yet stubborn. A miniature version of you, and I think your independence could serve as a model for him to follow. To put it simply, he imitates you in being free.

✦ Well, he doesn’t listen much to Loki either, who’s supposed to be his coach.

✦ But maybe he’ll listen to you.

✦ Maybe.

✦ "Although I think I’m capable of being a good person, I suppose it depends on how happy I am in the relationship… I’m still figuring things out :’)." I wonder if this phrase is also related to your dislike of committing to a relationship: you’re afraid of giving too much and the other person not giving as much in return, being less invested. I don’t think that would be much of an issue with Charles. Honestly, I see him being able to reciprocate everything you mentioned in the actions you take to maintain your relationships, and I’m especially thinking about sending silly memes at 3 a.m., sharing IG reels, TikTok videos of people dancing in their bathrooms, and that sort of thing. Typically, when you see something dumb on social media, you send it to each other.

✦ "OMG I was just about to send you the same thing!!!!"

✦ Honestly, I think Charles is a big SMS spammer, even at the most ungodly hours of the night.

✦ 30-minute voice messages that make no sense :)

✦ Stickers and gifs.

✦ He’s the first to suggest a night out. In fact, I think staying cooped up at home deeply bores him, you know? He’s the kind who needs to be kept busy 24/7, or else he makes you pay for it a thousand times over.

✦ A gremlin, basically.

✦ "His hobby is surprising anyone or saying something weird just to see the reaction to it ('Doesn't matter if you hate me!')." It speaks for itself.

✦ "I do like straightforwardness." Can we please remember this panel and the fact that Charles bluntly says to Loki, "I’m bored, let me out of here." There’s nothing more direct than Charles. In fact, from the moment he’s bored, it’s like he loses all his skills.

✦ He needs structure, but not just any structure.

✦ Charles is still young, so he needs a figure who can serve as a role model and mentor, someone who has enough interest in his eyes to push him to give his best, which he tends not to do even under the supervision of Loki, who is a world-class player. I don’t think it’s a matter of skill but rather of mentality. Charles doesn’t thrive under constraint but under freedom.

✦ Considering this meme, which I (love) see applying to the two of you, Charles is clearly a pocket-sized kitten capable of scratching at any moment.

✦ "Festive holidays! Seeing all the Halloween / Christmas / Valentine’s /etc. decorations makes me happy :3." It’s still too early on my blog to post Halloween and Christmas headcanons, but Charles is typically someone who prefers to have fun rather than work, you know? A day spent without having fun is a wasted day for him. I also think his taste in decorations can be questionable at times, but that’s what makes decorating together so much fun. Even if people tell him, "Those colors don’t go together at all!!" he doesn’t care—he likes it, so he does it anyway. And it makes him laugh even more if you approve of his particular tastes.

✦ "Heavy on Acts of Service (both giving and receiving). Like receiving physical affection too." Now we get to the part where I eliminated the first contender that came to mind :D To me, the ultimate love language of someone is the opposite of how they present themselves to others. So someone like Charles, who does whatever he wants and hates following orders from others… would do the opposite with someone he really loves.

✦ That is, he’d be the one wanting to do things with and for you. He doesn’t ask because it’s embarrassing, but he has a great memory when it comes to things that really interest him. And because there’s this need to be validated by the person he holds in high esteem (somehow), he always wants to succeed in his goals to show off in front of you, to show you he’s got what it takes and that he’s just as strong as you.

✦ Beneath the sibling rivalry airs, there’s a mutual desire to prove your worth to each other, and that’s also how you show each other your respect. It’s never very direct, but your actions speak louder than your words.

✦ And because words aren’t Charles’ thing at all, he much prefers to show you what he thinks of you with surprise hugs, shoulder taps, and innocent, childish pranks. He’s still just a kid, and there’s nothing more sincere than them when it comes to showing affection.

✦ Typically, he climbs on you to get your attention and blocks your view of the TV because "PLAY WITH ME, EGG!!!!"

✦ So yes, physical contact 100,000%. And Charles loves head scratches in his blond, well-coiffed hair. He doesn’t let others touch him because others are boring, you know? But you’re not boring. On the contrary, you’re actually really awesome to him. And when others try to convince him otherwise, he either jumps at their throat or throws rotten tomatoes at them. France loves you guys.

✦ But there are also other things on which you are particularly compatible.

✦ "Cancer" I have good news! Charles is a Pisces. This is a combination that works like magic, as it often does with signs from the same element. To put it simply, your way of functioning is similar—there's a deep sensitivity behind your insolent and carefree exterior. In fact, you've both developed a shell of indifference to only grant your trust and favor to a very select few. Since Charles is still young, he isn’t fully aware of this yet, and it’s funny how his growth reminds you of your own.

✦ I’m not quoting the more personal parts of your bio because the blog is public, but I like to imagine that Charles' family situation isn't necessarily stable, like maybe his parents are pretty lax or don't realize their son's potential, you know? His relationship with Shidou makes me think he needs an older brother or sister figure around him to offer that chemistry, that joy in playing that his parents can’t quite inspire in him. It even seems like football bores Charles a bit, as long as there isn’t someone on the field who pushes him to blossom because they understand his way of playing, his way of being. Charles is a character who needs a partner.

✦ So… Yes, clingy, but that's because without it, he has no motivation to grow. To improve and become a better person.

✦ We all know that children evolve differently depending on their surroundings: the fact that your presence has a major impact on his growth, both morally and psychologically, gives you a responsibility that you might not like. You might even outright deny it, judging by some parts of your bio, and at the same time… Well, it's the same for you: if someone hands you a significant project that requires investment, as an ENTP, your nature might push you to decline the offer because you value your freedom too much to commit. But by breaking this well-oiled defense mechanism, you too can experience exponential growth. It's by stepping out of your comfort zone that you create something massive and impactful.

✦ "I see no problem in arguing with my parents (not the scream yelling stuff, the 'ur wrong' stuff)." And I think there's little that amuses Charles more than watching your verbal sparring with your folks. Like… He's hidden behind the couch, giggling into his hand, you know? And once you're done fighting, he jumps on you, laughing and saying, "Nooo way, you didn't!!!" But yes. You did.

✦ Actually, I think you two have known each other since childhood, and that you're the older sibling Charles has always dreamed of.

✦ Football probably came into his life naturally to fill the boredom, the emptiness, the school he never liked.

✦ And you arrived in his life like magic, and it clicked right away because he quickly realized you wouldn’t put up with his arrogance and the fact that he never listens to anyone.

✦ Charles listens to rebels.

✦ The people who are said to be bad.

✦ Naturally, he started following you, wanting to replicate your habits. Dressing a bit like you, adopting the same tastes... And then completly denied it because it was cringe. But the fact that everything you did was cool: so he wanted to do it too.

✦ What motivates him to play? Knowing you’re in the stands watching him.

✦ He acts like he doesn’t care or like he hasn’t noticed, but his eye regularly glances at the stands to see if you’re watching.

✦ And when you disappear, even just for two minutes to get something to eat, all his motivation evaporates, and he switches to "I’m bored" mode.

✦ Then he lights up again when you reappear.

✦ Actually, Charles clearly has two modes of functioning: when you’re there, and when you’re not.

✦ He’s skipped far too many classes to be with you.

✦ Pretty much all subjects bore him at school; in fact, there isn't a single teacher who can make him want to learn. That said, I like to think that because it’s you, he listens more often. He looks at you. He shows some interest, even if it fades too quickly. But the fact that he tries a bit harder when you’re around is already proof of growth.

✦ He tries.

✦ He tries sometimes.

✦ Typically, when he doesn’t get something in class, he asks you first.

✦ Which can lead to certain issues, like relying too much on you and no longer trying to understand things on his own because it doesn’t interest him enough.

✦ I imagine at that point you might brush him off, and he gives you those puppy eyes to convince you to do things for him.

✦ You bounce the ball back and forth to each other.

✦ "I don’t get it." "I don’t want to." "How about we go play instead?"

✦ There’s also something particular about Charles, and that’s the fact that he likes his unpredictability. He’s not someone who seeks to be understood or to have others empathize with him. On the contrary, it’s the fact that no one can predict his movements and thought patterns that makes him so good at football. I think it’s a quality in him that he loves and that you can nurture.

✦ It’s something that Loki tries to do…

✦ … but, well.

✦ Rebel without a cause, as they say.

✦ "Can I copy your homework?"

✦ Deep down, he’s still just as insufferable.

✦ Okay, I'm going to write Halloween headcanons anyway.

"Chaaaaarles!"

"What, Egg?"

"Don’t call me that!"

"It’s your name, EGG!"

"Charles? Halloween is coming up. Do you want to carve a pumpkin with me?"

"Huuuh? Why?"

"We’re going to put them in front of the house and around."

"Why not inside?"

"We’ll put some inside too, but I’ve got other things planned."

"Like what?"

"A cauldron with skulls."

"Cooool. I’ll watch you do it."

"We’re going to do it together, Charles."

"Egg?"

"What?"

"Are pumpkin cakes good?"

"I don’t know, I’ve never had any."

"I want to make them. Make me some food."

"Charles?"

"What?"

"What are you doing to your pumpkin?"

"A smile! It’s a cat, but in a pumpkin. Isn’t it cute?"

"It looks like you."

"EGG!!!"

"WHAT???"

"LOOK!!!!!! They’re selling waffles over there!! I want some, I WANT SOME!!!"

"What are you getting on top?"

"With chocolate, lots of chocolate, and whipped cream, and strawberries."

"Not bad."

"Yeah. It looks like you."

A word about your match: The first contender was Nagi, and you probably know as well as I do that act of services isn’t really part of his love language. That said, the fact that he’s lazy makes him capable of clinging to the first person who comes along; you could say it’s a way of showing physical contact. But clearly, I didn’t see him as capable of providing enough stimulation, even though Nagi is the least people-pleasing character in the entire series. I think Charles offers more twists, complicity, and challenge for you.

#charles x reader #charles chevalier #bllk charles #bllk x reader #blue lock #blue lock x reader #bllk #blue lock matchup #blue lock headcanons #suo matchups

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gingerylangylang1979 · 1 year

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Sydney Adamu, Love, and Black Women’s Opinons

No matter how The Bear handles Sydney’s love life or lack of one, people are going to be pissed. The truth is she can’t live up to everyone’s expectations as a black woman character. Is that even possible? Is too much social weight being put on how her personal life is portrayed?

I’m a black woman. I get that we are the most vilified demographic in the media and in fandom. A lot of battles have been won, but there is still a way to go. But does that mean every black woman character has to redeem all the sins of the past in every story? Can storytelling ever be truly just storytelling if a black woman is involved or are there certain social criteria and personal expectations that need to be met?

As a huge Sydney fan it’s been interesting to see all of the different discourses about who she is, what she means to people, what she represents culturally. Some of it good, some of it bad, but all thought provoking, especially when voiced by black women.

I recall debates back in the day about how black characters should be represented. From the beginnings of cinema black characters were at the whims of a system not made for them. Black women in particular were mostly tropes and rarely complex, vulnerable, desirable characters.

Times have changed somewhat but there are still challenges facing black actresses. There is still rampant colorism, nepotism, classism, unconscious bias, egregious racism, misogynoir, navigating the streaming landscape, and just trying to exist like we always have. My question is in this environment what should we expect from Sydney Adamu as black women.

Expectations about her love life kind of spell out all of the varying opinions. And each one carries a certain weight, whether the opinion holder means to or not.

I’ve noticed it doesn’t matter what view you have, you will be accused of being racist and misogynist. So what is really going on?

Is there a way to win as a creator in this scenario? How much of a story needs to solely rest on vision and how much should answer to social justice concerns? Even if you try, who are you trying to please and how? Is there even a “right” way?

Black women aren’t a monolith. Some think it’s racist to want her with a white man, others think it’s racist to think she should only be considered with a black one. Some think she should be queer and want the representation. Others think it would just add to the history of black women being masculinized and made queer to erase them as love interests. Some want her to be single because she is a highly ambitious professional. Others think that sidelines her as a strong black woman that doesn’t need a man. Some welcome a new character so the romantic focus doesn’t have to be on her. Others see the new character as a threat purposely brought in to marginalize her.

So what is the truth? I think there is no real truth to be had other than whatever the hell plays out and if it makes sense. But many things could make sense for Sydney. I know what I want and think makes sense but it could go several ways and still be enjoyable. Others are way more militant and bringing a lot of non-negotiables to the end game.

So if we can’t even decide as black women how Sydney's love life should be portrayed, how the hell do we expect fandom, the cast, and crew to have conclusions that are “right” according to our perceptions when our perceptions don’t even align as a demographic and most are valid in light of any person’s lived experience, political views, idea of a good story, and interpretation of media?

I’m going to delve into the should she be with Carmy debate briefly, just to highlight what I’m getting at.

What about Ayo’s opinion? She voiced not wanting a romance with Carmy but it seems everybody but her has been questioned in an accusatory way regarding that stance. She may be the only black woman afforded that. Rightfully so, it’s her character. She made some vague statements contradicting that later, maybe she still says no, is neutral, or maybe she is open to it. Maybe she likes what we have already seen and where it’s going and isn’t putting all of these heavy implications on the character like we are.

And as far as Storer, he knows who he wants this character to be or at least had a blueprint. The endgame could change but I have a feeling he largely modeled her on his sister, who is queer BTW. Maybe Sydney could have been played by a white character. He didn’t do that because he seemed to want Ayo in the role when final decisions were made. We do know the character was older and seemed more stoic in the OG script. But other than that we don’t know a lot about intention. How much the differences between Courtney and the character are impacted or not by race, organic story development, Ayo’s performance, and dynamics with individual characters we won’t know. But a lot of assumptions are being made.

As far as Jeremy’s opinion. He’s been pretty consistent with saying he thinks it should remain platonic. I don’t think that says much beyond he’s looking at his character season by season, scene by scene, and concluding he doesn’t think Carmy is good for her and isn’t thinking about romance. That’s all he’s said. I’m taking it as just that for now. He could change his opinion if dynamics change or not. But a lot of assumptions are being made.

But back to black women fans.

The main reason I wrote this is because it’s getting really tiring when I see people trying to police black women’s opinions. It’s really, really interesting when an opinion someone doesn’t like is voiced online and when it’s a black woman they have this shocked oh, so I wonder why they said that response, or oh she must have internalized hate or something. As if liking a different ship, or no ship at all, turns one into Candace Owens. I see this coming from black women towards black women and non-black women towards black women and it needs to stop.

Me and another black woman who share opposite opinions were recently harassed and called racist simply for not agreeing with others. We both agreed it was ridiculous. The irony of calling black women racist, just because they don’t agree with you, when discussing black women characters is mind boggling.

We can have various opinions and they may not agree with yours no matter what race you are and if you are indeed racist, an ally, or anything in between. Stop labeling us, stop harassing us, stop thinking we have to have the exact same vision for black women characters.

I’m open for respectful discussion on this but will not waste my time with bad faith replies.

#the bear fx #sydney adamu #ayo edebiri #black women characters #black women on tv #black women in cinema #misogynoir #black romance #screenwriting #the bear season 2 #stop harassing black women #we are not a monolith #carmy x sydney

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asachuu · 1 year

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A lot of people are talking about Arthur’s age right now to the point even I know about it from under my rock, but instead of stating the obvious and simply assuming everyone is in on everything already, I’ll just ask this: what is actually so unbelievable about him being 27? I’ve heard folks say that it would mean he would be 15-16 at the time of joining his organization, which is indeed correct, but somehow, this comes as a surprise or something unacceptable, and I don’t understand why? The two literal fandom favorites, Dazai and Chuuya, met at fifteen years old when one was a mafia member already and the other joined at the same age, and no one seems to find that unbelievable?

Anyway, since I have my two cents on this matter, I have to shove the rest of this under the cut, but please bear with me here.

I presume people are mostly shocked for that reason, though do correct me if I’m wrong— I do see how it could be inconceivable to think of his whole entire background, memories, memoir and so on as being attributed to a 15-19 year old instead of someone far older, but if that’s due to any other reason than it simply not meeting expectations thanks to some former headcanons, I’m not too sure why. Obvious Fifteen parallels aside, it’s not as if BSD is some light-hearted series where characters going through incredibly harsh events we cannot even imagine have to be of legal age and in perfect circumstances to be able to handle it— I suppose some could be wondering about that aspect, but it would match up with the whole feel and plot of the story, and no part of it feels out of place. I’ll admit I used to believe Arthur was 36-37 at the time of his death as I didn’t know of his age either, but upon seeing he was a decade younger, I didn’t exactly think it to be nonsense for the sake of him being “too young”, and not to mention, this would also mirror his IRL counterpart, being 16 at the time of meeting Verlaine— which you absolutely could say is too young, considering the entire story between them, but it did happen, and BSD is based on the real-life authors after all— so I don’t see any argument against this which truly makes sense, all things considered.

That aside, I will say that Arthur’s canonical age specifically matters to me, unlike some other characters’ ages, and perhaps my reasoning could be a shared one that contributes to some of this confusion, and that is because it does change the perspective of Fifteen/Stormbringer to quite an extent. I had a whole post drafted about this already a week ago, but it seems to be even more relevant now, so I’ll just throw a part of it here and the rest in a reblog to not derail too much.

In my opinion, if one is to read Arthur’s memoir from Stormbringer, it feels much different to think of it as written by an adult as opposed to a teenager, purely because of its content— the character who has no family to return to, no loved ones or friends or even personal feelings he is allowed to have due to his job, the one who is overjoyed to finally have a partner whom he could make any difference to and who is already prepared to be forgotten after his death anyway, is not actually fully grown up, which maybe some are having a hard time accepting, I’m not too certain.

To me, this view on the story is indeed a lot sadder, especially if one is to consider his only partner betrayed him at 19 instead of whatever other theory could be in place, alongside all else I won’t be mentioning here as I believe I wrote a long enough essay about those two as is, but I don’t think any of it is strange or odd-sounding. If I may, in my personal opinion, I actually believe it makes far more sense, and not because it once again would align with his IRL counterpart even here— no, rather considering his behavior in Fifteen of desperately trying to find a way to remember his best yet only friend, likely because he hadn’t had anyone by his side from such a young age and clearly latched onto the first person he could have had alongside him, which could be a fully applicable theory even if you hadn’t seen the pair in any unrequited romantic contexts that could have been his motive. Does it make the story far more sorrowful? Yes. But does it make the story nonsense and unbelievable? Absolutely not. At this point, I would be so much more surprised if he wound up actually being 37 as I and what I suspect is a decent amount of others guessed at first, because in that case, I would somewhat understand the other side to my arguments— I still wouldn’t agree with them as I never did, even in the past when I didn’t have any extra information, but I could potentially see where they’re coming from at the very least.

I’ll just briefly acknowledge that perhaps some saw the memoir implying Arthur being more of Paul’s mentor at the time, being much older and wiser than him as would be expected, but I don’t think this was ever anyhow highlighted in the novels to make it clear that Arthur could be considered as such entirely— it was only said he would be the one to raise him, which I admit would not leave me assuming the given character is 15, but all things considered, it still aligns with everything above. I also have to acknowledge that in Fifteen, he is referred to as an “older” member of the Port Mafia, but I believe that refers to the eight years he spent in it, and was not meant to be an indicator of his actual age at the time, although compared to Chuuya and Dazai back then, perhaps 27 could indeed be seen as older in a very relative sense. Still, neither of these things are a direct contradiction to his supposed age, and while I’m not here to “prove” he’s 27 or 37 or whatever else one could assume, since I don’t have any other source of information other than the S3 guidebook and don’t have any reason to come up with alternative theories, hence why I choose to trust it unless official sources state otherwise, I’m only here because it surprises me how many people are shocked by this, as if many other characters in BSD weren’t in the same exact age range at the time of drastic or serious events happening around them/to them. I assume that, for some, this is merely something which goes against their personal headcanons or is just wholly unexpected, with nothing more in-depth sitting behind it, at whom this post is not aimed whatsoever, but I saw some saying it doesn’t even fit into canon at all, which…how, exactly? Because I don’t see it at all.

#text post #bungou stray dogs #bsd fifteen #bsd arthur rimbaud #randou #bsd stormbringer #bsd storm bringer #asachuu

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i-just-needed-a-place-to-ramble · 1 year

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Okay I have to say that it bothers me immensely how this fandom treats the Donnie’s Gifts episode.

Specifically the shock collar.

I know, I know, it’s an incredibly old topic that’s like poking a sleeping bear to bring up again, but if you may feel the same I do, then hear me out.

On one side, we have people who see it as Donnie being deliberately cruel and actively wishing to control his brother through force if need be.

On the other side, we have people who see it as something good, and poor Donnie didn’t mean to hurt Leo! He didn’t mean for his gift to cause harm! He just wanted to create something to make Leo focus more, he just doesn’t understand that what he did was bad! But it’s okay because he doesn’t get it!

Both these readings suck, in my opinion, though one I see more often than the other.

Now, I love Donnie, I do, he’s so, so fun and interesting and a fantastic character…but the shock collar was an incredibly messed up thing to make. Obviously, he loves his brothers, and he just wanted the best for them, but it was still an objectively awful thing to do to your brother. (Don’t get me wrong, Mikey and Raph’s gifts were also not great, but let’s focus on the collar.)

See, making a collar like that, and having your brother wear it, knowing what it does…that’s not a good thing. It doesn’t matter that he didn’t get to explain it first. It doesn’t matter if it was meant to help Leo in the long run. That ‘help’ is forcing Leo to endure painful shocks until he’s conditioned to, what, pay attention? (And that’s a funny thought, considering it was the shocks that distracted him in the first place.)

Good intentions don’t automatically make things okay.

There’s also an admittedly ableist tone to the reading of Donnie simply being let off the hook because he “doesn’t understand why it’s bad.” That’s- that’s so infantilizing. Donnie is more than capable of knowing when he messes up! And he did mess up here! I hate when people use his autism as an excuse, it feels so ableist to me. Just let him own up to it and apologize! He’s not a bad guy, and it’s okay for characters to mess up! So long as they own up to it! Donnie’s a person too, and he has flaws, let him own them, please.

However, this is not to say that Donnie is evil or abusive for doing this, not at all. While he should not be absolved of guilt, he clearly isn’t intending for his gifts to come off the way they had, and he clearly made them out of concern for his brothers. It’s understandable that he would go about it the wrong way - it’s just not okay that he did. And what he did warrants an apology to the others, especially Leo, even if they themselves shook it off.

So, yeah. The shock collar is incredibly messed up. It was painful enough to affect Meat Sweats- and Leo had it around his neck. It’s a comedy, so I know we gotta take these things with a grain of salt, but whenever I see this episode tackled in a more serious way, it almost always either 1) makes Donnie out to be the Worst, as though we aren’t constantly shown him caring immensely for his brothers, or 2), admittedly more prevalently and annoyingly, it chooses to focus on how sad and misunderstood Donnie is, rather than the very real harm he caused. Like. LEO IS THE ONE WHO HAD A SHOCK COLLAR ON HIM. Put there by HIS OWN BROTHER. And no one cares about that??? Leo’s pain is dismissed??? Donnie’s feelings matter more??? What????

I think that’s what gets me most here, honestly. Not that Donnie is presented as evil, or innocent, but that Leo’s experience doesn’t matter in comparison to Donnie’s reactions to it. It leaves a horrible taste in my mouth to see time and time again.

Again. It doesn’t matter what the intentions were. It also doesn’t automatically make Donnie abusive or evil.

But it was a shock collar, made to hurt, made to correct, and if you look at it outside of the comedic lens it was established in…it’s not okay.

Donnie’s not a bad person, and he’s actually a pretty great brother, a hero in his own right…but he really messed up here.

And that’s okay to admit.

#rottmnt rant #Donnie’s Gifts #shock collar #rant #tmnt rant #don’t get me wrong #again I love Donnie #and he’s not a horrible person #but this was horrible of him to do #this and a certain other episode #your faves can mess up guys it’s okay for characters to have flaws #it’s okay for characters to be called out #it helps them grow #and it makes them better #okay long rant over sorry everyone haha #long post

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saintsugu · 8 months

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ive taken the past few days to gather my mental bearings and try to properly formulate my thoughts. as a survivor of csa, i do not take these topics and criminal allegations lightly.

- starting with the two (2) threads that i wrote on twitter: writing has always been a form of therapy for me. I began writing on Twt, rather than just post on this blog, for a reason. It was separate from the the friends i’ve made on here. I’d be able to write things that about trauma that i’m too ashamed to admit. I could discuss topics that have been prevailing factors in my own real life without feeling worried about being shamed. I get that these are taboo topics (and for good reason), but I don’t know where the conclusion formed that just because i was discussing / consuming these topics through fiction, automatically meant that i was getting off on the idea of it happening in real life; especially compared to the possibility that maybe i was using it to cope.

Everybody has lines they’re not willing to cross. I get it; I have those too, believe it or not. for me— as a survivor, discussion of underaged content falls into the same category alongside of noncon, stepcest/incest and cannablism. None of which i support in real life yet all of which i have at some point consumed via fiction. Now obviously, these standards aren’t the same for everyone, but in my mind there is no difference. I would never accuse someone of being a r*pist if they wrote noncon. I would never claim that it’s dangerous for them to interact with women in their real lives.

People deal with trauma in different ways. When I first started to write dark content on my old blog, i dipped my feet into dubcon. I didn’t care much for it. But then in the months following, i was SA’ed by my best friend. I then began to write graphic noncon. And i felt a bit better— a bit more in control. I was now choosing when and where i was viewing and consuming fiction with these topics, rather than when i had something i did not want forced onto me.

It’s taken me a long time to begin to process certain things that took place in my childhood. Having to process something, that happened more than a decade ago, entirely alone with zero support from anyone i know is difficult. I found a way to help myself cope. My methods may have been unsavory and uncomfortable for people, but not to the extent of graphically telling me how to k*ll myself in my inbox. Yes, I did write and consume underaged fiction in order to cope with my personal trauma. I fully own up to that. At the end of the day, fiction is just fiction.

Concerning the ‘expose’ post, the OP also claims that this was not to start a witchhunt, just to shed light to the situation; all the while, they were in my inbox telling me to kill myself before even making a post. Alright. People have had no issues calling me the f slur, making transphobic remarks/purposely misgendering me, and of course, graphically telling me how i should end my life. They’ve sent hundreds of asks claiming they care about the situation, when in my opinion—which might not mean much, no matter how you feel about me, if you resort to threatening, hate mobbing and threatening me irl, you are not handling things in the right way either.

In regards to the minor in my following list, i don’t know who she was or if her pinned post had changed. when i read the expose post i immediately unfollowed her and checked to be met with the fact that she didn’t follow me and we had shared a total of zero messages between the two of us. I am unsure if her pinned post changed or if I had foolishly followed her without checking to a full extent. Either way, we had no interactions. That might sound like a copout but unfortunately, i have no other commentary i can share on the matter.

at the end of it all, i can only control my own boundaries. i tag everything accordingly and that is the most i can do. drawing and fictional pieces cannot be considered cp.

#tw discourse

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hostess-of-horror · 1 year

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Hey guys.

I’m back.

@minnesotamedic186 @randomrabbidramblings @mimizzin @bramble-scramble @pastelprince18 @tiramegtoons @darkmedolie @medys-space @deezeyrabbidy

(Personal stuff below; please do not reblog)

So, the reason why I needed a break from Tumblr for a bit was because I had a major emotional breakdown after work one night.

That night, my mind spiraled into a rabbit hole of worst case scenarios and depressing thoughts. It was so unbearable that I cried right after I got into my car. Those thoughts were about you guys.

My mind told me things I had always dread of: losing you all for who I am and what I believe in.

We are in a time where everything is divided, including the internet, and Tumblr is absolutely no exception. Say one thing that’s against everyone else’s opinions and, sure enough, you’re sent into Death Row where you are the Enemy.

I feared if I were to say anything, then you all would see me in a different light and not a good one.

And you’ll abandon me.

My heart breaks just thinking about it, even though we never went into an argument or anything of the sort.

I’m doing okay right now, although I do feel like I’m losing my sanity. I have considered that I may not only have generalized anxiety and depression, but probably manic depression (bipolar disorder). However, this is only a thought, not an official diagnosis.

Outside Tumblr, I don’t have many friends that I hang out with. I know people from work, I get recognized by higher ups for my hard work, I do my best to help others out in a friendly manner...

But, I... just seem to be unable to get along and make any “real” friends.

I know that making and maintaining friendships are very difficult for someone with Asperger’s (I know it’s an outdated term; just bear with me), and as that someone, life is just a cycle of monotony.

And I hate it.

No matter how many times my mom told me I’m not crazy, I can’t help but feel like I am. Sure, it may not be the “straight-jacket-and-padded-cells” kind of crazy, but it’s been like this for years.

There is a lot to unpack in terms of why I’m like this. Long story short: a span of bad friendships and one neglectful relationship.

Is it normal to cry over something that’s normal for friendships?

Is it normal to crave such an intimacy like how a creature softens by a single touch?

Is it normal to obsess over the smallest gestures that may or may not come true?

Is it normal to see myself through the monster in a story?

Is it normal for me to represent myself as the Monster Bride?

Is it even healthy for me to represent myself as the Monster Bride?

#vent #personal #mental health #loneliness #lonely #just my ramblings #friendships

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rotating-hyperfixations · 7 months

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Not to bring up politics on my fandom blog, but I gotta let out somewhere so I’m yelling into the void on tumblr so bear with me.

I truly think the U.S needs to go back to teaching civics in schools at a higher level then they currently are; because the amount of people who seemingly can’t grasp how elections and general politics run is astounding. Like, I totally get being frustrated with the state of American politics and the amount of corruption and private equity in what’s supposed be a public entity, but yall are really starting to test my patience when it comes to election season. Because yall are being dumb with this whole “don’t vote for Biden”/vote third period campaign you’re trying to put out there.

Unfortunately America is a two party system and a lot of people fall somewhere within the political spectrum. And generally throughout history, even if you didn’t agree with a candidate you vote for the one that more aligns with your values in the hopes that you can get them to change their opinion on important matters through congress and the senate (aka state reps). However in the last three election cycles a lot of people have become one policy voters (meaning one issue makes or breaks who they’ll vote for) and now we’re on the brink of rolling back a centuries worth of progress because a bunch of far right christofacists were able to come into power by people not voting. And rather then recognize that we are legitimately headed down a very dangerous path if Trump gets elected for a second term; people have just decided to not vote or mobilize a third party candidate. Both of which unfortunately just leads to a Trump victory because republicans are far more likely to vote as a party than democrats.

While think that at some point a real effort has to be made to try and get some more younger and progressive politicians in power, the year on election is not the time to start. and that is simply because America at this point it not capable of coming to together to recognize anyone who is not a democrat or a republican and it’s not a change you can implement at the national level immediately. For these changes to occur people need to start showing up at non Presidential elections and voting progressive and third party candidates locally, so it gets on the radar and they start to take it seriously and adopt that ideology within their own parties. However, yelling on the internet that you’re not going to vote with seemingly no alternative plan isn’t going to do anything. Not to mention no politician is ever going to cater to every base within a party, it’s simply not feasible. I’m sure that there are moderates who disagree with certain aspects of Bidens politics, but they understand that Biden is a far better alternative to Trump.

And ultimately that’s what all of this boils down to, the Trump of it all. If Biden was facing back Republicans of old like Mitt Romney or John McCain, I’d say sure not voting and making a statement on the democrats not accurately representing your beliefs will make you not vote for them would be ok. Unfortunately a second term of Trump is going to have far more reaching implications than I think people realize, and don’t realize how serious it is. Out side of the fact that Trump has basically already demonstrated that if he can, he won’t peacefully transfer power to whoever succeeds him. But he will roll back a ton of civil liberties and probably do irreparable damage to certain parts of the country and branches of government. Like do you really want to get an even more conservative Supreme Court or for things like abortion bans to become national law. And I know that people think that’s fear mongering or that they don’t care about the damage it does to their community, which is fine and all I suppose. But there are a ton of kids who are powerless in this matter who don’t get a say, who may not feel the same way and saying “you don’t care” even as a minority group is still an insanely privilege take and a very short term thinking.

And finally, if you’re not voting for Biden because of his handling of the Hamas Israel war, allowing Trump into office is not going to help anyone over there. Because Trump and republicans have already stated that they are pretty much on the side of Israel and are going to probably aid them even in more in bombing the shit out of Gaza. So if that’s the hill your will to die on, don’t dilute yourself into thinking that not voting for Biden will do anything to help anyone or desecrate the situation because Trump will make it far worse and then America will be complicit and all the activism in the world won’t help.

#us politics #2024 elections #president biden #donald trump #please don’t be dumb and let a fucking idiot fascist rise to power #also stop getting your news from TikTok and Twitter #I promise 95% of those people either don’t know what they are talking about or are misinformed themselves #israel hamas conflict #israel hamas war #let’s be rational about politics and how this country works #I beg of you

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emmathorne · 2 years

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Just a vent abt a bully

Hello, I’m going to complain!

My better judgement says sit on this quietly and smile the grumpiness away, but frankly I always feel better getting my fed up thoughts written out, and Tumblr is the quiet place we vent to, so here we are.

Anyone who cares enough to pay attention will know who I’m talking about, but for those who don’t (and for the sake of this being pure venting, not some kind of beef starting or mob building), I’m going to refer to the gentleman involved as “John” in lieu of his real name. If you don't know, it doesn't really matter because he is not the only person like this out there, and you may be able to relate.

This week, John, a big figure in the sceptic community, who commands a lot of respect and has a large following gathered over many years, was, in my opinion, quite rude to a friend of mine. He was rude, dismissive and pretty condescending, and this took place publicly. Said friend is also a creator- smaller than I am and much smaller (as we both are) than John. My friend reached out to John for clarification on something, and was overly polite with pleases and thank you’s and consideration. Whether they were just in a super nice mood or they chose to be careful because John has a reputation for getting angry over minor things, I don’t know. All I can say is they were very polite.

John is like a bear, we admire him and adore him for his incredible skill and power, and when he swipes one of us with his claws we all laugh or apologise and bow down to him because that’s “just how bears are”. What I've learnt is to accept that's how bears are, and that I feel happier and safer staying out of swiping distance, because I don't deserve to get clawed.

John was curt and rude and all the things I mention, and my friend clapped back (something I have always felt is perfectly reasonable. Someone is stinky to you, you shouldn’t be expected to be super kind in return). At this, John flew off the handle, called them several names and blocked them.

A lot of people saw this and had the same reaction I did: ‘wtf did I miss’, because it seemed quite an absurd overreaction. I added onto the conversation, because that’s my friend and I go into defensive mode when I see a bud treated unfairly. I make no apologies for this.

I too was overly polite (something I almost regret in hindsight because of John’s attitude throughout) when I suggested that this was a little over the top, that he was surely fair to be irritated at my friend’s sarcastic comment (again, as a retort to John’s attitude I think it’s fine, but it makes sense for John to be annoyed by it), that twitter often gets the worst of us, and an apology would surely be accepted. I also remarked that if he felt a comment was a waste of his time, it would probably be better to ignore it than fly off the handle.

I admit I’m often out of the loop on mainstream sceptic activists and creators, partly because my content is quite varied outside of that, so I didn’t realise how naive it was to think that polite compassion and understanding would reach John and that would be that. After the fact, I’ve been told by lots of folks: audience; creators and behind the scenes community members alike, that John has been this aggressive and reactive for a number of years now. If I’d known that, I perhaps would have just marked him down as someone I wasn’t interested in talking to and quietly removed him from my various feeds. Alas.

He responded to me in the thread, essentially telling me to go away, take my own advice and ignore him, he didn’t ask for a lecture. Surely yes, nobody asked for a lecture- but someone was stinky to my friend and that’s not the sort of thing I want to ignore. It didn’t completely make sense, it was very ‘heck off i can do what i want’, and I was pretty surprised.

I started to wonder if there was some context I was missing, that maybe something had happened between John and my friend before that made John particularly sensitive to their questions. A while ago, John added me on another social media app. So I reached out to John privately.

You fool. I know.

I sent John a message essentially (politely, I must add) asking if there was some context I didn’t know about, why he had behaved in such a bullying manner, and hoping that we could come to some more compassionate understanding.

His response was more or less: Wow!!! You’re going to say I DID A WRONG THING? Prove it!

The entire discussion went like that. It was cyclical and frustrating. There is a type of person (and I’ll say I’ve only experienced this from men, not that it’s a rule, but John fits a certain “type” of older, righteous white man that I find most frequently guilty of this tactic) that turns every conversation, especially if they are criticised, into a debate. Even a private chat about behaviour and feelings, in this case, became an intellectual debate.

I have experienced this many times, and I find it to be a method pseudo-intellectuals use to belittle and ‘win’ against people that aren’t able to articulate as well as they are. Every infraction was a point that had to be proven with evidence, and if he could counter it with his debate tactics, it meant he had ‘won’ and couldn’t have done anything wrong, ever.

This was a conversation about how he had been rude to someone on twitter. I explained what was rude, that I was not the only person who considered it rude, and his only retort was to continuously demand proof. John is an excellent debater. I am not, I don't debate, and while I know that there is some value to certain kinds of debate, I often question their value. Being good at debating and being right are entirely separate things, and so I don’t generally allow myself to be bullied by this tactic. I had told him what was rude, and that was that.

He demanded to know exactly who and where others had called this behaviour out, and I allowed a cheeky retort of my own! Of course in hindsight this is exactly what he needed to satisfy his status as the victim of my evil, deceptive tactics (all in the name of trying to understand why he was mean to my friend. What a sinister agenda I had!). I replied that I could easily ask him to ‘research’ for himself instead of ‘wasting my time’- because this was the complaint he directed at my friend who had asked him for clarification. It was a direct parallel of something he had said, with the intention of pointing out how absurd that was. I added that if he genuinely needed me to screenshot people calling out his behaviour, I would do so.

We went on for a bit in circles with this proof demanding, accusing me of dishonesty (I asked him outright what was dishonest about anything I said, and I still don’t fully understand. I believe it’s the fact that he kept hounding me for ‘proof’ that his behaviour was rude, which is a pretty weird stretch), and ‘name calling’. (The name calling is because I said his behaviour was bullying. I also later called him childish, which I hope you can understand given what i’ve explained so far. I maintain that to be true).

He continued getting angry and being aggressive about proof, including about me not being the only one to think he was out of order. I reminded him I'd offered him screenshots, and he basically said that I was clearly being sarcastic. I told him I wasn’t, that he’d assumed that out of nowhere- he was angry about that too. I had literally said “if you genuinely need me to-”. I included the word ‘genuinely’ and he still made it my fault that he thought I was being sarcastic. Except because John can’t be wrong, I had been sarcastic, and I guess just hadn’t realised it or was lying about it? Perhaps that’s where the ‘dishonesty’ thing came from. Who knows.

I shared some screenshots of people agreeing this was rude, which is pretty ridiculous I know. It’s bebo era schoolyard stuff. If he hadn’t demanded proof that he was rude and I wasn’t the only person in the world who thought so, I would never have thought to, but it seemed to be necessary. Of course, I was wrong about that too. It was only the case if they had MESSAGED him. That was all that counted. Of course he knew that I wasn’t going to be screenshotting his own inbox, so why he only told me this after the fact remains to be seen. He had demanded who and where, and then told me the who and where I presented didn’t count.

John was like this throughout. Incapable of being wrong in even the tiniest way, but treating me like I was a stupid, dishonest kid who was mistaken and crazy about every single thing I said. Even when it contradicted something he’d said earlier, it turned out I was wrong about that. I should have known psychically that tweets don’t count as people calling him out, that I was definitely being rude and sarcastic when I explained I was being genuine. I was wrong about every single thing.

Along the way, one of John’s gripes was that my friend, after the conclusion of the tweet thread, had joked about this being great publicity. I think it’s a funny way to try and make light of someone with a huge fan base being an ass to you. John decided that this meant my friend was only “in it” (conversation with him? Content creation in general? Unclear) for the publicity and he hates people like that. In my opinion, that’s a ridiculous stretch. To take someone’s jokey ‘getting a positive out of an awkward situation’ and make it into their entire driving force in all they do is absurd, and any reasonable person would see that. John is not reasonable.

In case you are one of the folks who, like John, thinks that joking about someone being mean being great publicity is actually terrible (as I saw some of his fans agreeing, in that slightly tragic bootlicking way where they agree with everything he says whether it makes sense or not), I’d like to remind you that everyone was fine with me making the same joke out of Kent Hovind giving me publicity. The only reason it’s suddenly bad when it happens as a result of John being an ass, is because they want to have some reason to vindicate him.

John used the publicity joke my friend made as an excuse as to why he didn’t need to apologise for anything. I considered that fallacious, not just because of the above where he’s viewing something silly in absolutely the most uncharitable way possible, but because that came after the fact anyway and had nothing to do with John’s initial rudeness. The idea that you can’t be cheeky or joke about someone who has already been a complete ass to you is tone policing, at least in my opinion. At the very least it doesn't change anything to do with John’s part in being rude as hell in the first place.

In our private conversation, I attempted to empathise with John- this was also wrong and got me chastised. Something I’ve seen him and his followers explain is that he gets tired of answering the same questions time and again- understandable after so many years of doing the exact same thing. I experience this too, and gosh I’m really grateful to have a varied range of content I engage in, even if it makes me a bit more niche. If I spent 20 years getting angry in debates over the same things, I'd probably go crazy too.

Anyway I attempted to empathise with John on this, telling him I understood how frustrating that could be and so on (again, I have experienced this myself, so I felt it was reasonable to empathise). Because it was a debate and he had to ‘win’ against everything I said, this was also terrible of me for ‘pretending to understand him’ or something, even though he also said that yes it was true. I guess his claim was that it wasn’t relevant to this, which doesn’t make sense and frankly I don’t believe. It doesn’t really matter, I could have said the sky was blue and I’d have gotten a lecture on how wrong I was.

I had mentioned creator size to John, because he was someone with a huge following publicly dissing someone with a relatively very small following. Something that I’ve adopted from a lot of the most conscientious creators I watch is the idea of not ‘punching down’. In general I do not think it’s responsible to do things that might mobilise a large audience to target someone at a much smaller level who doesn’t have the resources or experience to cope with a high level of abuse. The ‘punching down’ discussion has nuances that I’m not going to waste time on here, and it’s something people certainly disagree on, but my personal belief is that you should adopt a level of care when talking negatively about a much smaller creator. John disagreed with this. He called my consideration of creator size a "fallacy". I don’t know if that’s even vaguely correct, but I am not the intellectual that John is, so who knows. I think it’s relevant. He doesn’t.

This led to an awkward part of the conversation that I feel uncomfortable recalling even now. He subsequently asked me if I was a smaller creator. I told him that compared to him, yes certainly, but larger than my friend. He said that in that case, he would leave it there. While I am grateful he took my feelings on audience size into consideration despite disagreeing with it, I find the subtext really uncomfortable. The suggestion is that, if I hadn’t been a smaller creator, he would not have left “it” there. What is it? Putting me on public blast? I didn’t ask. Maybe it was an overreaction, but I found that a little threatening, so I ignored it and moved on. I don’t want to know what he might have said or done if I had identified as a large creator or someone at his level. Forever grateful to be niche, hah.

I was really ready to end this confrontation now, because it was more than clear that John was never going to accept being wrong about anything, that he was going to be as rude as he damn well wanted and if he was called out on it, he’d deny it righteously till he was blue in the face, and I either gave up, or admitted being a terrible person with a nefarious agenda.

I got through a last tirade about me being dishonest and fallacious and so on, all the same things I've mentioned. He concluded with a very brief nice comment about some of the content he’s seen from me. So I responded that it was interesting, because I thought some of his arguments were fallacious too. I said there were things we’d clearly never agree on, but I wished him the best with his work and hoped he continued to do good activism. I had a glimmer of hope that we were actually going to end on neutral, polite terms.

His response was to go back to demanding proof, in the same rude and combative way he had been all along. Eye roll.

At this point, I was 100% done and it is hopefully clear to anyone reading that I could not have done or said anything that would ever change his mind, so I said goodbye and blocked him. End of. Or not?

Cue a very “2010’s internet drama” maturity level post from John about an unnamed ‘dishonest, name-calling whiner’, aka me. I assume the ‘name-calling’ + ‘whiner’ thing was intended as irony? Or perhaps he’s just that lacking in self awareness. Either way, it’s a deeply frustrating and upsetting thing to read from someone you know is so respected in the community, who people idolise. I was sitting there wondering how many of my own followers were liking and retweeting that statement without knowing it was about me, and certainly not knowing how utterly ridiculous the entire interaction was. All of this because John was rude, and unable to acknowledge it. He’s got a critical debate-bro condition.

Despite his anger at this suggestion from me, I really think that John must have some serious sensitivity around being challenged, criticised or asked questions about his words. Many people that live in this angry, debate-centred world for so long do develop ptsd-like reactions, or genuine anger problems. I’m not in a position to diagnose anyone, these are just some of the thoughts I have trying to rationalise and understand John’s behaviour towards me, my friend and anyone who has dared criticise him or even ask him a question on the wrong day.

I heard in hindsight from many people who had been talked down to, belittled, blocked etc for minor things, and even similar cases of John going off the rails at something minor involving people far kinder and more intelligent than me- so at least I don’t feel this is a totally personal slight. I am bugged about it, clearly, but I feel fairly comfortable that I did the best I could to resolve things rationally and compassionately, and that the issues at the heart of this nonsense are problems with John and not me, nor my friend, nor any of the other people who have experienced this. John is a very "no, it's the kids who are wrong" type.

If I had to be in the room with John for a function or to engage with other people, I’d do so and be perfectly polite. But I do not want to work with him. I certainly do not want to speak with him. Right now I prefer not to see him on my timeline- I've hidden one channel that I like because seeing his face on my YouTube screen was making me uncomfortable (that I’m sure will pass quickly though, I just like to give myself comfort wherever I can, especially with what I do bringing confrontation and hate to my attention more than I’d like).

As much as this has sucked a fat one, I don’t regret anything. My friends come first, and I will always stick up for them. Maybe this loses me access to some of the ‘big names’ in our community. I hope not, but I consider it worth it either way. The ‘angry atheist douchebag’ phase is something that I think a lot of us go through, especially when young or deconverting, after some religious or family trauma etc. It can be a very natural part of the process. Should that be the face of the sceptic community? Hell no. We’re very fortunate to have a lot of smaller, developing channels with more diverse voices and a kinder attitude, alongside the playful snark and ribbing that we love. I’m curious as to how someone attains that kind of idolisation, where their fans can call him their favourite, despite having only had negative interactions with him (real comments I have read in response to this).

People can be kind of assholes and still do great work. Often, I think people like John miss out on important topics and ideas (I’ve certainly seen him do this on shows) because of their quick reactions and jumps to negativity and their swift putting down of anyone who might have a slightly different opinion that him, even if they didn’t know that before they, say, called him on a show. I do genuinely hope that he continues to do good work, and I respect what he’s built. I understand that people love watching him ‘throw down’ and that can often be satisfying. I enjoy seeing people who deserve it get a swift talking to. I don’t enjoy seeing people who are trying to learn, improve themselves or bring a different perspective being treated with equal meanness. I disagree with his methods and attitude, and I personally am not interested in watching him. I can’t imagine watching him on a show after the way he’s spoken to and about me, all because I dared to question his rudeness.

So that’s it. I’m a little hurt and quite frustrated, but I feel I’m frankly in good company with people who have faced the wrath of John. I’m trying not to feel too stupid in the wake of being belittled over all the ‘fallacies’ and general debate bro bollocks that were thrown at me. Emotional intelligence is also a real thing, and not everyone has it. Mine isn’t perfect, but it’s certainly better than John’s and I am grateful for that. I’d rather be willing to make mistakes and learn and treat people with compassion than be able to ‘win’ every argument. I’m also glad not to be the sort of person that gets outraged over minor things every day, continually alienating people in the process.

Long live the silly lil guys.

Thanks for listening to my vent. I feel better already.

#vent #cw vent #personal vent #personal thoughts #just rambling #sceptic community #atheist community

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mallowstep · 2 years

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Not sure if I’m sending this in the right place but, as someone who identifies as “centrist” in this whole anti pro thing (I don’t like either side, harassment and overzealous hatred over fictional characters bordering on obsession is unhealthy and definitely really harmful to minors in those spaces but a majority of proship shit I’ve come in contact with during my attempts to kinda figure myself out were also very black and white when it came to arguments over fictional depictions of certain topics, consumption of media and honestly at times reminded me of the fandom culture I was groomed in) I agree with you the most and genuinely enjoy a lot of what you write, and it’s refreshing to see someone else who has similar opinions and ways of handling these topics in their works with a nuance that people lack when looking at any of this stuff which infuriates me. I’d send this off anon but I do kind of fear backlash from outing my stance on this stuff — this whole controversy is dumb, I do wish people who could handle your approach on dark subjects gave your writing more of a chance, your mosspelt story was a very well put together piece on grooming and it’s effects while not being too graphic and focusing on an emotional journey and i really loved it, I wish people in general could use more nuance when looking at fiction and interactions with said fiction because these black and white arguments get us nowhere

[this ask was initially sent jan 31]

thank you so much for this ask.

(cw: i do not discuss any details of what certain fics contain, but i do discuss that i have written fics dealing with various kinds of abuse with some being graphic.)

the mosspelt piece is one of my proudest works, and i think it definitely...goes down the easiest? (in contrast with, say, no one held me to the flame, a concept i didn't expect any amount of support for or engagement with.)

i would like to take this moment to remind everyone that you don't have to engage with everything i write, just in case anyone needs to hear that today. if something is upsetting to you, don't read it. love to everyone.

anyway. as someone whose stance is tax paying adult/whatever is funniest/whatever people have decided today, i don't really like to acknowledge shipcourse. i've got friends who bear both labels, and they both agree with me. so. i think that pretty accurately describes how nonsensical this whole thing is, that two people on supposedly opposite sides can have the same opinions.

i was talking with one of my friends who has the same stance as me (altho, if forced to label ourselves, we would pick differently), and we were talking about how it ultimately comes down to how do we actually stop harm.

banning topics from ao3 doesn't stop harm. things will happen no matter what. you don't have to like it, but that's the reality. (for a tangible example of this happening, look into how FOSTA/SESTA made it harder for law enforcement to do their jobs.)

as some of y'all know, i was most engaged in this discourse when i was at a deep low point. (or high point, as it were, seeing as i was trending towards mania.) it's been a while since i've spoken on it because i needed a good long time out.

ultimately, characters on a screen or in a book do not matter and cannot be harmed. real people can. what matters to me is therefore the normalization of abuse.

a talking point that continues to bother me is the idea that just acknowledging something exists and happens is normalizing abuse. i think anyone who's read some of my fics can agree with that. i think if you read no one held me to the flame and manage to get off to it, or otherwise think it's normalizing abuse, then i'm a much worse writer than i thought. (i name nohmttf specifically because it goes as far as deliberately depicting the acts.)

i don't know where i'm going with this, just...it's all pretty senseless. if the super dark stuff like nohmttf isn't your cup of tea, i don't want you to read it. i want you to enjoy your time reading my fics.

#ask #anon #mine #shipcourse #discourse #kitten pics are back!!#anyway as a reminder i'm just a little guy

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zealctry · 2 years

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@fallesto ( Nagato Pein Dearest Leader ) , cont'd from HERE.

there're things that could ( do ) set Hidan off, like a match thrown onto incredibly dry timber ( snap his patience like a twig underfoot. set his nerves aflame, and suddenly, everything in his head is a wildfire. ) they do exist, although they are far fewer than people generally anticipate ( think they know ) after making his acquaintance. they can make his blood boil, those things ––– and once they do, it always circles back to two things: blood and pain ( ha! pain, Pein. real funny. there’s a joke in there somewhere, if you attempt to take a stab at it. Hidan doesn't linger long enough on it to try. )

but this isn’t it. between one sentence and the next, catastrophe is prevented. maybe they take a wrong turn, somewhere in the labyrinth of his mind. because instead of tensing in vexation. . .. Hidan laughs. ( laughs in the face of everything he cares little about. that village, its people, this man's assessment of him. they're all so . . . )

a brief thing, more a bark of a sound than uncontrollable amusement. ( it dies down to a scalding, sweet-flavored countenance, a smile coating his lips, enveloping the threat of violence. sweet like syrup around a pocket of cyanide. )

a c h a n c e t o a i d a l l o f u s i n . .. .

( fucking hilarious. the best joke he’s heard in a while. what makes you think I want anything of the sort? that I have ever aided anyone, even once, in my life. . .. .? lie lie lie, but Pein isn’t in his head, so how would he know ? )

“ hey hey hey. what’s this bullshit about? don’t you think you’re underestimating me, just a little? ” still sickly-sweet. you see, it comes naturally ––– Hidan is sometimes indulgently obnoxious ( because he can. because he wants to. ) “ I’d like to see him try ! ”

( his supposed partner, who acted like anything but one. a mock-partner, a mock-leader. all of it a masquerade. like his supposed giving a shit about this whole organization. was any of this meant to faze him? or was it merely a play, put on for his entertainment? )

above, behind the haze of pollution projected upon the skies by the village ( he hates this place ), clouds gather heavily ( shades of grey, always ; daylight, nighttime – all shades of . . .. ). passive onlookers to this tiny. . . dispute? difference of opinion? ( Hidan is bored. Hidan is restless. therefore, Hidan makes a nuisance of himself. )

a shrug, deliberate and slow, followed by the roll of his shoulders. as if to ( purposefully! ) contrast ( counteract! ) Pein’s neat, precise angularity ( of bearing and of tongue, of ideas and of speech ), Hidan relaxes – even slouches just a touch, or pretends to, anyway. lets his arms become cooked noodles at the very least ( his back posture is, by force or habit and obligation, impeccable. it comes with carrying a significant amount of weight at his back. ) but it’s all showtime, after all. it’s the message that matters. and he’s certain that his message, in the here and now, is being received quite clearly.

“ see? case. in. point. no trace of leadership, Dear Leader. ” the last syllables weigh down his tongue with a mockery that Hidan doesn’t bother to conceal. pale lips twitch, knowingly, as he jabs a finger in the other’s general direction. “ don’t forget that you’re the one who wanted me. so what I’m saying is, make it worth my time. ”

#CANON.#v.04.#fallesto #( wow this took forever i am so sorry.#sometimes...#it takes me a while to find the groove of a thread so to speak. adfghjk )

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yallcantread · 1 year

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As a priviledged swiftie in many ways but a marginalized person in others: its such a difficult position to be in. I neither want to speak over girls who have routinely had their voices silenced to tell them how they should or shouldnt feel about this, nor do i want to exclaim that things like the attacks on trans rights and womens rights in the US are a far bigger deal that affects the lot of us more than who Taylor choses to date.

Many of the swifties i know are minority, lgbtq and/or disabled, and the risk of being ostracized from the only part of the community to accept me is a very real one. Unfortunately to those with strong feelings in the matter, even well sourced definitive facts have less bearing than what the loudest/most popular members have to say.

I understand your position, but it’s important to remember that no one else gets to decide how you should feel about something. Your feelings matter too, and it’s not fair for others to dismiss them. I’m a person of color, and while I acknowledge the existence of systemic racism and its impact, I don’t define myself solely based on my skin color or census identification.

Identity goes beyond external factors; it encompasses our thoughts and beliefs. What affects one person may not affect another in the same way. True friends should respect and understand that you have your own opinions, especially if they are not harmful or discriminatory.

When I mention harm, I’m referring to opinions that directly impact the lives of others. For example, if someone’s opinion on housing prevents low-income families from accessing essential housing, it becomes harmful. Such opinions can influence legislation and affect entire communities. Voting, by nature, is opinion-based, and it’s crucial to consider the consequences of our choices when they have a real impact on people’s lives.

In contrast, making fun of someone or not aligning with your preferences is merely mindless behavior. I appreciate you bringing this up because it highlights the need to focus on more significant issues. It doesn’t mean that one issue is more important than the other; rather, it suggests that some matters don’t warrant extensive conversations or discourse.

In the case of Matty, he isn’t involved in shaping legislation, nor are you for supporting his actions. He isn’t actively promoting harmful things; in fact, it’s quite the opposite. It’s important to recognize the distinction between harmful opinions that affect laws and opinions that differ but do not cause harm.”

#matty healy #taylor and matty #taylor swift #the 1975 #matty healy icons #ice spice #celebrities #taylor swift icons #art

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spoonsforminutes · 1 year

Text

Medical Ableism

As someone who has extensive personal experience with medical ableism from both physical and mental health professions, I wish more people realized that ableism (and really all -ism ideologies) are a systemic issue reflected in individuals and has no real inherent bearing on morality. What makes medical ableism so vile is the fact that the U.S. is a country in which people refuse to confront the uncomfortable beliefs of the past and present, and the fact that people confuse personal ego and professional knowledge as the same thing. Specifically more so in therapy, it is a therapist’s responsibility to mitigate conversations with their clients in a safe and beneficial way that addresses their concerns, and although seen more in good therapists, medical professionals should feel encouraged to discuss personal examples of trauma without trying to control the client’s own narrative. I don’t know why this is so hard for medical professionals because when someone is trusting their life in your hands, my own opinions always come second place to validated research. Plus I don’t know, my personal trauma failed to develop and secure a personal identity for myself, but I have always spent my time learning about and expanding my own worldview. And it’s super funny going through medical healthcare courses in college as someone with an invisible disability because you really learn that no matter who are--either an old white guy retired from his medical career or a woman in cancer remission trying to teach young med professionals that patients need to have compassion for their illness--you find out pretty quickly that the U.S. healthcare system only sees fatal/terminal illnesses, temporary illness/conditions in which full recovery is expected, or mental health (only addressed by mental health professionals).

Neuroscience and cognitive science truly is such a good major to have when heading into medical school because it’s the best of both worlds in terms of psychology and biology with the added bonus to explore linguistics, computation, and philosophy. I am incredibly privileged to have gotten such an education and to use it to really expand all aspects of my understanding. I specifically perform research on my own disability and gender identity, so I’m already on this battlefield. I am in the trenches, but even more so, I see the people who face the same struggles as me, and I think, “well, im used to pain and trauma; let me step in front and take the first bullet.” I don’t think true social activism is ever a choice; it feels like I walked head-first down that path, and whenever things get in my way, I double-down on everything I know I am and what I believe. This is where my gender identity really helps because both masculinity and femininity where used against me whenever I stood up for myself, so when people misgender me, it fills me with a little bit of glee because I think “good, go ahead and underestimate me.” It’s very clear that even with top surgery, my trauma-strained voice affirms my assigned sex which is incredibly dysphoric, but I’m working on it for me and my personal happiness. Until then, my voice is no excuse. Transphobia literally lives in the spaces of what is deemed acceptable queerness and the assumptions about its visibility. The traditional sex binary model will always spurn transphobia until society realizes that “male” and “female” sex simply don’t exist and are a heuristic that was never meant to be taken literally, but the history of sexism and racism in medical science has perpetuated this idea that inherent differences exist between people that would support bigots and discrimination.

I don’t think morality is something that anyone can possess permanently because it relies on both words and actions; you do not just get claim you’re a good person and then do whatever the fuck you want. Being a good person means respecting both yourself and others, and ultimately, wanting to see a future where you and the people who influence your life (whether you know it or not) can live free and happy and SAFE.

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okanefutan · 2 years

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INDEPENDANT // PRIVATE // LOW ACTIVITY Mine Yoshitaka of ryu ga gotoku // the yakuza franchise

21+ writer // no minors // follows back from @kansaisdragon

Account is very WIP and lowkey for the time being, more a test to get my bearings for the muse more than anything. Guidelines under the “Read More.”

GUIDELINES

Feel free to address me as “Atlas” OOC. I’m 21+ ( 25 as of writing this ), and as such would prefer not to write with writers below the age of 18. I’m criminally unmotivated with a piss-poor memory to boot, so please bear with me! My discord is available upon request, as I’m far more liable to see messages there.

Writer and muse are 21+, and due to the nature of the Yakuza franchise, both violent and sexually explicit themes may be referenced. That being said, and for the sake of my own personal comfort, it is VERY unlikely smut will happen on this account, but on the off-chance it does it will all be put under a “read more” and tagged as nsfw accordingly.

Do not kill the muse unless discussed and agreed upon beforehand. While I’d prefer a heads up before your muse does anything too drastic, chances are I’ll be 100% on board with whatever you have in mind. On that note, Mine’s opinions are not my own, nor do I condone his actions by any means. This is all fiction.

In regards to writing: I tend to delve more into literate replies with minimal formatting, but my writing is flexible and will vary depending on the interaction and who I’m interacting with. Whether it be shorthand, shitposts or full lit. threads, chances are I will make an effort to match your length; however, I do not expect anyone to feel obligated to do the same.

While ships aren’t a priority on this blog, this is something I’m very much open to provided there is ample chemistry between our muses ( and for Mine, that entails a LOT of chemistry ). Another thing to note is I portray Mine as a homosexual man, and as such, he won’t be interested in women/anyone feminine-presenting in a romantic/sexual light.

As for shipping, this next part is specifically for anyone who may write Daigo. As I intend to write, him, his feelings for Daigo Dojima were romantic in nature. This, however, isn’t expected to be reciprocated by any Daigo writers, nor will shipping with Mine be any easier if he does happen to interact with a Daigo. In his Survival AU, which I intend to be the main verse, he harbours a lot of guilt for how he’d treated matters leading up to his supposed death. As far as he’s concerned, he has yet to earn Daigo’s respect.

As far as triggers go, I’ll try my best to tag the basic ones, but if there’s anything you need me to add don’t hesitate to let me know! I’m not the best at gauging what needs a trigger and what doesn’t, so please bear with me if I happen to miss anything obvious. As for this account, there will be mature themes present: murder, crime, suicide ideation.

BIOGRAPHY

Taken from his wiki.

Born in 1976 to unnamed parents and orphaned at a very young age, he grew up in poverty, raised in an orphanage by his adoptive father who became terminally ill when Mine was still a child. On his deathbed, his father advised him to make something of his high intelligence and was sorry to leave him on his own. Having spent his childhood rejected by his peers for his background, Mine worked tirelessly to achieve wealth and status.

He became a very successful businessman in adulthood, earning a fortune in insider trading and real estate. Before the age of thirty-one he founded a venture company where he was employed in the capacity of both the company's chairman and the manager of the R&D department. As he had spent most of his life in solitude, it comforted him to have subordinates he could consider friends. He felt he was at a place in life where he could find what he truly wanted: genuine bonds with others. Mine's acquired lifestyle led him to be surrounded by people who used him for their own gain, resulting in numerous betrayals throughout his life.

In 2007, motivated by immediate profit, his trusted colleagues staged what in Mine's view was a coup d'etat in which he was dismissed from his position as the manager of the R&D department. To Mine, this left him as the company's chairman only in name. The same night, he witnessed an assassination attempt on Daigo Dojima, Chairman of the Tojo Clan, that left four Tojo men dead. Contrasted with what had just happened to him, the incident had a lasting impression on Mine. He became obsessed with finding out what Daigo's subordinates saw in him that they would die to protect.

With his investigation at a standstill, he decided he needed to see what caliber of man Daigo was for himself. He bribed a member of the Tojo, Kanda, to introduce him to the Nishikiyama Family under the guise of wanting to expand his business. Mine used aggressive methods to acquire property for the Nishikiyama Family, poaching third-tier families from under other Tojo organizations to get at their territory. The family's profits skyrocketed as a result. Their success caused conflict with the second acting patriarch of the Nishikiyama Family, which ended in Mine and Kanda driving him out.

Though Kanda claimed credit for Mine's work and became the third patriarch, Mine shot up the ranks as his right-hand man. As Mine had hoped, their success did not escape Daigo's notice, who was aware Mine was the one working behind the scenes. He warned him his methods went against the moral code of the yakuza and would end up getting him killed. Mine considered Daigo naïve and disregarded his advice, certain he would change his tune if enough money was put in front of him. Not satisfied that he understood enough about Daigo just yet, he continued his ways.

While transporting seven hundred million in payments to HQ, Mine and Kanda were ambushed by the second acting patriarch along with men from several families Mine had poached. Outnumbered, Kanda abandoned Mine and drove off with the money, a betrayal that left Mine in a near-suicidal state of despair. Daigo intervened, offering the second acting patriarch one billion yen in exchange for Mine's life and even taking a bullet for him. When asked why he would risk his life for someone like him, Daigo told Mine that it was natural to him, as he considered every member of the Tojo Clan his family.

This ultimately lead Mine to realize that the yakuza was exactly what he had been searching for, a society in which the bonds between men ruled supreme. For the first time in ages, Mine had found someone he loved and respected, and he came to consider his bond with Daigo his reason to live. With Daigo's support and his own clear thinking and financial prowess, he soon became the chairman of the Hakuho Clan as well as lieutenant advisor to the Tojo Clan.

VERSES

Yakuza 3.

timeline: circa 2009 tag: 円 ❛ I intend on moving forward in the way I see most fit. ; ( v: Yakuza 3 )

Despite the name, this verse loosely encompasses the events both leading up to Yakuza 3 ( starting where Mine is made the Patriarch of his own family ), to his actions following Daigo’s coma up until the end. WIP.

Survival AU.

timeline: post-2009 tag: 円 ❛ maybe in my next life... I'll have what it takes to earn your respect. ; ( v: Survival )

Following his fall from the Millennium Tower was a grueling and long recovery. It was a miracle he’d just barely managed to survive the fall, and it was by sheer luck alone he’d been recovered quick enough to be revived after a series of intensive surgeries to recover what was left. Comatose for the duration of his recovery, he’d awoken to discover he’d lost an arm to the fall. With his left arm shattered beyond repair, for once, he found himself fortunate his seemingly endless funds afforded him a competent prosthetic. That, however, had been the extent of his good fortune.

Following his actions, and how his state of mind had nearly resulted in him ending the life of the only man he’d ever deemed worthy of his extensive admiration, he deemed himself unworthy to return to his side. He’d lost his only purpose in life, saw himself undeserving of the life he’d retained, and having been unprepared to live with the consequences of his actions, was left without aim or direction.

With nowhere else to go, and wanting to separate himself from the city that’d caused him so much strife, he’d made an effort to wipe his slate clean; Mine Yoshitaka was dead. Had died on that fateful day, and with his death, no longer served as a burden to those he’d made a victim to his blind loyalty and devotion. Under a new name, Nagamine Asuka ( written "永峰飛鳥"; Asuka written with the kanji for “flying bird,” he has quite the wry sense of humour ), he utilizes his understanding of the English language and moves to the United States. Not to start anew, but to separate himself from those he’d unintentionally dragged down.

Over the years, despite the distance, his newfound purpose had been continuing to funnel money into the Tojo Clan through a variety of different sources and businesses as to avoid being traced back to him, both as a means of atonement and for him to continue supporting the Sixth Chairman from “beyond the grave.”

#円 ❛ man of few words ; ( ooc. )#pinned post #suicide ment.

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