#thinking about him talking abt her but being afraid she will hear

[xfindingtrouble]

👄 percy abt vex!

percy sits up a bit straighter, chewing the tip of his tongue as he thought of the right words. Vex had a way of swaying Percy, of reminding him of the good in this world. He could stare right into the abyss, take a step into it & she would still be able to draw him back. She had faced dragons, spninxes, even her bastard of a father & walked away with her chin held high. Vex was a beast of a woman & not even death had been able to slow her down.

Where percy could not help but simmer on the past, vex always seemed intent on moving forward, surviving & doing good when there was room for it. she made him want to change, evolve past his solitary existence. it was easy to wallow in the past, to get stuck in it. yet it was always at her back. vex made percy think he could be a better person, in the right hands. left to his own devices, he had a habit of looking to worst case scenario. anticipating gore & atrocities beyond belief. percy was particularly talented at prepetuating the horror. vex was better at taking things in stride, reminding percy that he should too.

" Sometimes you meet a person & they inspire you. " he speaks truthfully, though he's very careful. no word is chosen without purpose, a nagging paranoia in the back of his skull. he wonders if somehow she'll hear him through the walls, expose him for his sentimentality. if he was wholly honest & she found out he doubted he'd ever live it down.

vex'ahlia was, perhaps, one of the most magnificent people percy had ever had the luck of meeting. she wasn't perfect, by any means, no one was... but she had relentless strength about her. she could fight & fight & fight & still have more left to give. she was fragile, in other ways, though it was more difficult to see. there was a weight on her shoulders that came with the love she gave. it left her open, vulnerable in a way that percy is sure was supposed to be private... but he had a habit of looking for the details. it was not easy to choose good, it never would be.

but it was more than inspiration & he knew that, somewhere inside of him. for all the internal battles he fought, it was one he knew he would lose. it was a surreal thought, to think that another person could affect him so deeply... that he could want something ( someone? ) so badly. yet he could never admit to it, at least not out loud. but still, he's sure she's caught his lingering glances.

she was smart & decisive, fierce & terrifying. perhaps this is why it was so intimidating to think that she might know his truth, overhear any heartfelt confession. he was half-sure she would eat him alive if she did. he was nearly as sure that he would let her. vex knew how to read a man, how to bend them to her will & as intimidating as it was... it drew percy in. he wanted to be what she wanted, who she wanted. a hero, a friend, a lover, percy didn't care. he just wanted to be.... hers. was his face flushing now? definitely. he could feel it in his ears. he lets out a deep breath, unable to catch every racing thought that now poured into hs head. they were like fireflies in the dark, endless.

" I would die for her, " he finally admits, trying to shy away from his beating heart in different sort of dramatic confession. his next words are less careful, his mind beginning to tumble thhroug a hundred other sentiments while trying to shake the feeling at the center of it. he's going to need a drink after this, " Though I would much prefer to live for her. She is my inspiration. "

send a ‘👄 + character name’ and my muse will talk about that character

[sleepybugeyes]

I read through all of Elias/Jonah's dialogue (as you do) plus some relistening and mentions of him, so here's a big list of some fun things and behaviors I noted!

I thought he made a lot of eye puns/jokes, but he only does it once in mag161, however he does enjoy making jokes. "Creativity never was their forte." from mag80, "You want my account? My sworn testimony? My statement?" from 82, "If you die, I’m afraid you probably won’t be able to claim your expenses." in 116 and "I only have two eyes, after all." in 120. no one ever laughs at his jokes only he finds them amusing

His last words telling Jon a sarcastic or mocking "good luck" are mirrored earlier as he also tells Basira good luck the last time he sees her, and Martin, as he's getting arrested

He loves gloating. "I forget how new you all are to this." from mag92, "Coffee is not as good for disguising tastes as you might think." in 98, "She’s hoping that even if I see it coming she’ll still be able to overpower me. She’s wrong, of course," in 102, "A masterpiece, isn’t it?" abt his panopticon in 158 and of course his whole monologue in 160

He does his budgeting on tuesdays and his scheduling on wednesdays

He also likes getting lost in work

in mag40 he makes up proper incompetency (said he didnt know how the fire system works, while he later admits he was actively waiting) just that once, but more so he acts like he doesnt get the full picture (doesnt know whats in the tunnels, whats strange about the institute) or acts too late and apologises (not stepping into jon's stalking behaviour). Which makes me think he is quite fine letting people think less of him but unless he has something to hide hes not actively looking to give the impression

in mag92 elias slides the papers for basira across his desk, but you don't hear him take them out before, meaning he prepared and got ready for this before he called the police

in general he's a very preparing man, Lukas steps in when Elias is arrested so has has control over who'd run it. in mag118 he says he prepared something to hurt martin (my speculation is that he likely has some trauma that could hurt you prepared for any person that could cross him, just in case he needs it). When he gets arrested he has something prepared so he doesnt get killed and ofc s1-4 is preparing Jon for his grand ritual

Elias admits the idea for his ritual kinda fell into place after Getrude didnt do anything about the people's church in march 2015. He shot Getrude and appointed Jon shortly after so "when you came to me already marked by the Web, I knew it had to be you." is pure dramatics as Jon was hired 4 years prior

also he got his ritual in 2018 so he managed to acomplish his life's goal in only 3 years, love his grindset 🔥

We never get a number for how many people Elias has killed in his ritual, the real life millbank has held over 1000 people at once, but id imagine his one panopticon held less than a whole complex

its really interesting to me in mag92 that hes SO sure they all know he's talking to them of his own free will. is he just that dead set on being in control or making sure they take no credit for his confession

there is a clock in Elias' office (but it's only heard in mag98)

He has killed people but Elias is very much not a blood thirsty person. Getrude and Peter are both surprised when he results to that. He's very much just ruthless and does not care, if to get his way he has to kill someone. It doesnt seem like he's ever happy to do so, maybe this is a quirk of being eye aligned and getting rid of any type of knowledge is painful (he does for example never want Tim to die at the Unknowing), or he just finds covering those murders up a hassle

for the Unknowing Elias books them all hotel rooms, how thoughtful

something cute to me that Jon was too good at the Eye that Elias couldnt meet him face to face post coma

In mag158 he implies that even Institute employees not in the archives are tied to it, at least enough that they could suffer or die if it burned down

between finding other people just as tools to watch and discard and saying empathy holds you back he was definitely a very very lonely man

He is a very breathy person. He sounds breathy when he talks. He takes deep breaths to ready himself and before he uses his powers. And he often breathes through his nose before speaking or during pauses

He has said Jon's name 62 times, only twice calling him "Jonathan" and called him archivist 25 times (24 in the mag120 statement, 1 in mag138 and 1 in mag161)(he also kinda calls him The Archive in 160)

other fun amount of words: know (65 times), see (42), martin (35), detective (20), eyes (20) and eye (9), afraid (9) and "bullshit" (1)

its still insane to me they added all of those sound effects of Elias' cuffs in prison, thats something fun to appreciate. It also means its canon he gestures quite a bit!

[whorediaries-09]

ok so i had a thought, i want to write this but im not sure if its good, what if reader was like no. 1 ambassador of hookup culture and remus was an old-school hopeless romantic and these two would be like best friends and remus would like take her home while she's drunk and everything and one day they both just talk really flirtily while being tipsy and kiss on the road and fuck and start to date but then remus gets insecure abt whether reader thinks he's just a fling but then reader tell him i love you while being piss-drunk and vomits on his jacket right after and he just knows it was meant to be?

wolfstar variant you say?

burning flames or paradise;

pairing- remus lupin x reader warning(s)- hurt/comfort, substances. a/n- i left out the vomiting part cause it kind of gives me the icks. sorry!

little train.

'you didn't kiss me,' you say, pouting your lips. the taste of cherry wine lingers on your tongue. his amber eyes stare into yours, hot breathe craning your neck. amongst the drunk giggles of your friends and the party background, your ears stay perked solely for his words.

'you're too drunk,' he says, half bored, half bemused. it was no tell tale or word of mouth that you were flirty with literally everyone. the 'femme fatale'. the 'brand ambassador of hookup culture'. those were the nicknames that were notoriously famous for you during your school days.

but not once had you ever flirted with him. until tonight, when the cherry wine was high on your tongue, your words not in your control. he tried to reach out for the glass in your hands. you laughed, the sound contagious as always, pulling the glass away from his reach. he watches the liquid swirl before he stares into the glossiness of your eyes.

'won't you kiss me, lupin?' he shakes his head.

'why should i kiss you?'

you flatter your eyelashes, puckering your lips. as if asking for something. he's afraid he's way too sure about what you want.

and he might have just given it to you if you weren't so pissed drunk.

'because you don't actually want me to kiss you.'

you put the glass on the table. resting your back on the pillar behind you. he walks closer to you, so that he can hear you over the barring noise of the speaker.

'i think, lupin, its rather the other way around. its you who doesn't want to kiss me. you treat your mouth as if it's heaven's gate,'

'why should i kiss you anyways?' he asked. 'i don't remember us being in a relationship of that sort.'

you stick out your tongue, blowing a raspberry at him.

'at least take me home?'

*-

the lights in your apartment are revolting and far too loud. the dopamine of last night still lingers. so does the ever present feeling of headache after a lot too many drinks. you rush through the drawers of your nightstand, searching for painkillers. otherwise you fear, you might just burst your head.

your eyes fall on a glass full of water, a coaster used as a lid to cover it. on top, there's a sachet of pills and a note with scribbled with a handwriting you recognize all too well.

you take the pills, sliding the note from between the wood and the glass.

'you fell asleep by the time i brought you home. take these pills. i know you'll need them.- love, lupin.'

the sunlight filtered through your curtains. a strange figment of fear crossed your heart, boiling it with trepid heat. you realized you'd fallen for your friend a few weeks ago-at least had a little crush on him.

you took the pills, chugging down the water. your drunk memories flashed in your head like a film. the faded memory of you asking him for a kiss popped in your mind. so did the one with him declining the offer.

did you mess up your friendship? god you hated yourself.

you crammed your face into the pillow, muffling your scream.

*-

remus was surprised when he found you at your doorstep, wearing the scarf he'd knitted you on your birthday, flowers in your hand. and his favorite kind of chocolates.

'hi,'

'you should've said you were coming! i would've cleaned up...'

'come on you fold your socks, lupin. what are you on about?'

he smiled, an awkward curl of his lips. you leaned against the doorway. the smell of soup was distinct, stains on his apron visible. you noticed he wasn't wearing a t-shirt. just an apron. your eyes fell on scars on his shoulders, each telling a tale. some terrible, some horribly terrible.

'so you're just gonna stare at me or?'

fuck, you got distracted.

'you didn't ask me in,'

'you know you don't need to be asked in,' he said, moving as your footsteps faltered on his carpeted floor.

'what are you cooking?'

'sweet corn soup and some toast. didn't feel like making much,'

'lupin, that'll be my 5-star michelin cuisine if i had the energy to make that. now these, are for you,'

'for the record, you take your whiskey neat. and you take your coffee black at three. and what for?'

'you're drunk on life, and i think that's great. and these are as an...apology.'

he walked to the kitchen, turning off the stove.

'an apology...for what exactly?'

'oh, you know because i asked you to kiss me,'

'you asked me to kiss you. you didn't force me.' he says, sitting down beside you. there's a pregnant pause before you keep your hand on his thigh, letting your touch linger.

'it's okay,' he whispers. 'you were drunk.'

'i wasn't. i take my whiskey neat. a little bit of cherry wine does nothing to me.' he chuckles.

'you were piss drunk. you fell asleep on the way home! i had to call a cab midway.'

'accusations accusations,'

'are they?'

you stay silent. you let the charge in the air linger. you let embrace you, entangle you in its ruins. your eyes travel to his face. his dusty blonde hair tangled across his face. lips chapped, pale skin rosy with the bits of chilly air of autumn.

'why didn't you kiss me?'

'what?'

'i said, why didn't you kiss me?' your grip tightens around his thigh. 'i really like you, you know?'

'come on, don't be a bitter liar.'

'i'm not lying.'

he neared your face, hot breathe scanning your face.

'i would love to kiss you,' his hand cradles your cheek, finger on your lip, 'taste these beautiful, soft lips. but i'm afraid, i can't. i can't be a fling for you,'

'who says,' you whisper, nearing his face, touching your forehead with his. 'that you're a fling. i'm not lying. i really do like you. hell have you seen me hooking up with anyone recently? i do like you. just trust me, for once.'

'hopefully,' he says brushing his lips against yours, 'i can.'

'you can,' you confirm, thrusting your lips against him, your tongue loitering in his mouth, tasting him.

he really did treat his mouth like it was heaven's gate.

****************************************

taglist - @reggieisfit @siriuslycaptainofthedawntreader @jamespottergf @eternallybipanicking @fictional-magic @iamgayforyourmom1510

(if you want to be tagged please send a request through my inbox.)

****************************************

[luvfy0dor]

hear me out. how abt nikolai as a dad!!! other parents gender can be up to you <3 thank you so much, feel free to reject !

"Tea Parties and Tiaras" - Dad!Nikolai x Reader ⋆·˚ ༘ *

Warnings; None, just fluff!!

Description; Dad!Nikolai headcannons and a cute little scenario revolving around a very dramatic tea party.

A/N; Tysm for the request!! I have a lot of thoughts about him tbh, I'm glad I get to post them! Also omg u guys since Halloween is coming up what do you think nikolai would be??? I know he's definitely not sitting out in every day attire to hand out candy; brother has gotta be costumed up and causing mischief I just know it.

Headcannons !! ༊*·˚

★ I could go on all day about how he uses his ability as a father rather than a villain. He uses it to quickly fetch things from other sides of the house, like a bottle or a blanket, stuff like that.

★ But he also definitely uses it to mess with them sometimes. If they're doing something they're not supposed to be doing and he finds out, he's gonna stick his arm through the portal, grab their shoulders and laugh when they jump. Then he'll tell them to knock it off, unless it seems appealing to him at the moment. He might join in if it looks fun.

★ Nikolai also does magic tricks for them. He really likes pulling a rabbit out of his hat. He loves the surprised look on his kids faces. He also robs stores of candy sometimes.

★ However, Nikolai isn't afraid of saying no to them. He really doesn't want them to grow up spoiled little pricks.

★ He lets them dress him up. If he's with the kids while you run errands, you'll come home and see your man with that glittery gel eyeshadow smeared all around his eyes and a tiara on his head. The dresses didn't fit, and neither did the little plastic heels, but the hair clips, tiara, and makeup will suffice.

★ I said this for Fyodor too, but Nikolai does his children's hair. He paints their nails too.

★ Nikolai loves to bring his kids to fun places, water/amusement parks, circuses, fairs, trampoline parks, etc. He has NUMEROUS pairs of the trampoline park socks and he loves walking around in them everywhere.

Scenario !! ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

(P/T is parental title because I want it to be gender neutral, d/n is daughters name, s/n is sons name)

When you thought about relaxing after work, partaking in a tea party wasn't exactly your first thought. But there you sat, cross legged with a pretty tiara on your head, courtesy of your young son and daughter. You could hear Nikolais little giggles as d/n tried to pull his hair back into a very messy ponytail.

"Oh, papa, you better brush your hair some more, this is way too knotty!" Your daughter exasperatedly says and let's go of Nikolais long hair, making him feign offense and turn to her. "Hey! You're very rude! It's okay though, because my tea party outfit is much better than yours is." He says, a mocking tone of voice as he squints his eyes while talking to her. She pouts and gets up sassily, retreating to s/n's side as he rummaged through their little play kitchen.

"Did you hear that? I can't believe she would say something like that to me!" He says to you with an exaggerated frown. You just scoff and pat his shoulder in support. "I wonder who could have taught her such wit." You sarcastically say. You both watch them search for enough teacups for the four of you, all of them being strewn throughout their play room. They eventually skitter back to the table with only three cups and saucers in hand. S/n places one in front of you, one in front of his sister, and one in front of himself.

Nikolai sits waiting for his, but when both s/n and d/n sit down without getting him HIS teacup and saucer, he's a bit annoyed. "Hey, where's my tea?" He asks them. The kids exchange a glance before d/n speaks up. "Mean, knotty-haired clowns don't deserve tea." She huffs. He's even more taken aback this time. "You guys are so mean! You're gonna make your papa cry." He says, his lip quivering a bit as his hand slaps over his heart for dramatic effect. He starts sniffling and you just snicker, watching d/n expression change to one of slight guilt.

She groans and begrudgingly gets up to grab another teacup and saucer from the kitchen, returning it and placing it in front of Nikolai. He stops pretending to cry and grabs her, pulling her into a hug and swaying her excitedly. "Aw, thank you! I knew you loved me enough to look past my messy hair." He says with a giggle. She eagerly tries to wriggle out of his hug, but s/n runs over and hugs Nikolai too, knocking him backwards and onto the ground. He lets out a soft "oomph" before they all start giggling.

"Hey! Now you're both gonna crush me!" He says, the kids getting up off of him while laughing. He lets out a loud sigh before sitting back up. "Okay, I think we're even now, yeah? I came to your lovely tea party with messy hair and you two just knocked the wind out of me in retaliation!" He says, patting their shoulders. They look at eachother and look back at him.

"Okay, I guess you're forgiven." S/n says, his hands on his hips and d/n nodding in approval. "Okay, good. Now, I think we should continue our tea party before we have to eat dinner." He says, pretending to sip on the plastic glass. They murmur soft affirmatives and sit back down. You lean your head on Nikolais shoulder as you pretend to sip on the tea too, content with the little family that the two of you have made together.

A/n; when u think of the word 'skitter/skitters' I hope you think of me 💔🫡 credit to @ilovechuuy4 for influencing the magic and candy stealing hcs thank you schmoopie 💞🙏

[indigo-anonymous]

I’d love to hear which other songs brain rot you for the fic!!

Yippee!! Time for the Splinter Fractures brainrot song list (which is by no means definitive and can be expanded at any time)! Buckle up, because it's gonna be a long post (I'm halfway finishing this in drafts and it's SO LONG already). I want to go over my favourite lyrics for each of them :D

I'll go over the two that were brought up previously first, to get those out of the way. All links lead to YouTube videos of the songs, since I know not everyone has Spotify.

Just A Man from Epic the Musical - Personally I see this as Sinner!Adam singing to Charlie (mayhaps during one of their sessions?) Some of these thoughts on the lyrics aren't specifically Splinter Fractures (that goes for all of them) but in part my own interpretation of (sinner) Adam :)

I look into your eyes and I think back to the son of mine (Abel) You're as old as he was when I left for war (When he was killed by Cain) Will these actions haunt my days? (nightmares eyyy) Every man I've slain Is the price I pay endless pain? Close your eyes, and spare yourself the view How could I hurt you? (Charlie is like the perfect blend of both her parents, both people he loved. This would be less of a question abt the future and more of a "why did I do that?")

I'm just a man, who's trying to go home Even after all the years away from what I've known (he's homesick for Eden, when everything was still good and happy) I'm just a man who's fighting for his life Deep down I would trade the world to see my son and wife (Beneath everything, he just misses being with the people he cares about)

But when does a comet become a meteor? When does a candle become a blaze? When does a man become a monster? When does a ripple become a tidal wave? When does the reason become the blame? When does a man become a monster? (Everything slowly going wrong, and losing control, to the point where he becomes the monster, the leader of exterminations, killing millions for the protection of heaven.)

I'm just a man... (He needs Charlie to recognise that he's only human. He's not an angel, not someone incredible powerful or untouchable. He's just a man, and he has made a lot of mistakes, because making mistakes is human... But simultaneously, this is regret, and an admittance to himself. He doesn't want to be human. He wishes he was an untouchable angel, but he's not.)

- • -

Monster from Epic the Musical - I've talked about this one in a different post already, so you know the brainrot is reallll. To me this song kind of tells the story of Adam becoming the Lead Exorcist. How he basically gave up his humanity to protect Heaven, both out of a sense of duty and because the people up there (his kids) matter to him and he's afraid of seeing them get hurt.

How has everything been turned against us? How did suffering become so endless? (When they got kicked out of Eden, the rest of their mortal lives was him and Eve against the barren world, nigh endless suffering was their punishment) How am I to reunite with my estranged? (As much as he hates Lilith and Lucifer for abandoning him and making him out to be the villain, he still missed them) Do I need to change? (He believes himself to be the problem)

What if I'm the monster? What if I'm in the wrong? What if I'm the problem that's been hiding all along? What if I'm the one who killed you Every time I caved to guilt? (Cain and Abel </3)

The in-between part here is specific examples from Epic, but there's plenty of similar stories to Adam. Was Lilith wrong to take the apple or was she actually being trapped here by the angels? Was Lucifer wrong for choosing her side, or was he just taking care of someone he loved? Were the angels wrong for kicking him and Eve out of Eden, or did they deserve it?

If I became the monster, and threw that guilt away Would that make us stronger? Would it keep our foes at bay? (This is Adam suggesting the exterminations after the initial uprising. He doesn't really want it to happen, but he feels like it's a necessary evil to keep his loved ones safe) If I became the monster to everyone but us And made sure we got home again Who would care if we're unjust? (His reasoning for why the exterminations aren't evil or unjust: they attacked us first, I'm making sure they can't hurt us again. Especially personal in Splinter Fractures because he just had to see Abel die for a second time) If I became the monster...

I actually drew this part because the brainrot was getting to me. I don't love how it turned out but I spent hours making it so I might as well put it here 0_o

Then I'll become the Monster I will deal the blow And I'll become the Monster Like none they've ever known So what if I'm the Monster Lurking deep below? I must become the Monster And then we'll make it home (again, he feels like it's something he has to do to keep people safe. To some degree he blames himself for Eden, and original sin, and this is him taking responsibility for what he believes to be his mistakes. He's aware of how all of Hell will perceive him if he does this, and he chooses to do it anyway)

- • -

Don't Save Me by Chxrlotte - Ah yes, a song about giving up, and asking people to just let you drown in your pain. Very much a song of self-loathing which is so Adam to me, especially in Splinter Fractures.

I came from the darkness, hiding on my own Like rain thoughts are harmless, leave me here alone The waking nightmares aren't as bad as dreaming, I suppose (life is a nightmare but the sleeping nightmares are worse)

Maybe I'm wretched and deserve this, I don't know (Adam questioning if maybe he really has been evil all along, it's not like he knows why he's in hell to begin with...) Don't save me, I'm almost glad if this is how I go (Ah... wishing for death... almost)

Look into my eyes And tell me what you see A demon in disguise Pretending to be me (hmmm that mirror scene. Also this is very What Lute Sees and convinces herself to believe. That it's not really him, but rather a demon pretending to be Adam) Bury your surprise And listen carefully He lives inside my mind He'll never let me free (Being trapped by your own thoughts, the insecurities will never leave Adam alone! They'll stick with him forever, buried so deep in his soul that he's unlovable, that everyone leaves, that no matter what anyone says, he's just broken.)

The wasteland never ends and it's killing me Wait and count to ten, but I'll never be Able to live, I can't seem to breathe (just a case of the 'shakes' right? Definitely not a panic attack /s) I'll die fading carefully so don't save me (this whole song is about refusing help, which is exactly what Splinter!Adam did practically every time. He only accepted it when the alternative was living on the streets of Hell and all the horrifying shit that comes with that)

Standing on the edge, it's darker now And it's in my head, I can't hear a sound Facing the storm, I'm cast out at sea I'll drown eventually so don't save me (Adam very much believes that at some point he'll just be kicked out again. That this is all temporary, and eventually he'll drown)

I can't live anymore and I'm the one to blame At night my thoughts, they scare me I can't face another day (I feel like I don't need to repeat myself too much. Blaming himself for things that are, in actuality, not really his fault)

Don't save me I think I'm in hell These walls are talking I can tell I've bathed in fire since I fell Don't leave me on my own (this is right at the start of the fic. He's been in Hell for a while and it has damaged him, he finally reaches out for help for the first time, almost begging Lucifer not to just leave him on his own there, and it kickstarts his way out of his hell-spiral)

- • -

Enemy by Imagine Dragons (solo version) - My favourite on this list, to the point where I want to make an animatic of it so badly but I do not have the time or energy to do so. The lyrics just follow the story of Splinter Fractures so well!!! (I had this one in my brain early, so it's far more focussed on the start of the story)

I wake up to the sounds of the silence that allows For my mind to run around with my ear up to the ground I'm searching to behold the stories that are told When my back is to the world that was smiling when I turned (He wakes up in Hell, and the irony is laughable to everyone who recognises him (just Lucifer at the start, Vaggie and to some degree Charlie later))

Tell you you're the greatest But once you turn, they hate us (this one's all heaven, most evident in Lute and Sera. They tell him he's the best, the first man, absolutely great! ...until he becomes a sinner. Then he's nothing but a lowly demon to them, they treat him with disgust at best, and outright hatred at worse)

Oh, the misery Everybody wants to be my enemy Spare the sympathy (Same as before, asking Lucifer to not leave him there. Asking for the slightest drop of sympathy (he only gets it when he has a panic attack after)) Everybody wants to be my enemy (Everyone in Hell hates him for the exterminations, everyone in Heaven hates him for being a demon now. He's got no allies, only enemies)

Your words up on thе wall as you're prayin' for my fall (every sinner, especially those in the hotel, wanted him dead. They were, in a sense, praying for his fall, and they got it) And the laughter in thе halls and the names that I've been called (I can definitely imagine Adam being insecure enough that he always feels like people are laughing at him and mocking him behind his back)

They say pray it away I swear, that I'll never be a saint, no way (Adam is aware enough of his flaws to know he'll never be good enough to be redeemed into Heaven) A chair in the corner is my place I stay I shake and I think about the powers at play, the powers at play (his deal with Lucifer, knowing that a single wrong move will get him kicked back out onto Hell's streets, it absolutely terrifies him) And the kids in the dark that were doomed from the start The child in the basement, face to the pavement Oh, what a statement, love is embracement Love is a constant, love is a basis (there's a lot of different ways to interpret those last few lines: Adam believing the hotel is doomed (which he does), his feelings on the loss of Abel (twice), the fact that he still loves people, again and again, that he keeps trying even though they always leave him (ouch)) He cannot be, she cannot be, they cannot be changed, but keep on praying (He doesn't believe the hotel will ever truly work. One redeemed sinner is probably a fluke. Sinners can't change and become better... right?)

Goodbye (haha that scene in the lobby of the Heaven Embassy hahahaha... </3)

- • -

What Could Have Been by Sting ft. Ray Chen - This one is a lot more recent. Very much focussed around the chapters where they discuss Eden, and the story of Eden in general. It hurts to listen to sometimes, and has made me cry more than once (/pos)

I am the monster you created You ripped out all my parts (Lilith and Lucifer abandoning Adam broke his heart, absolutely shattered him. They are a large part of the why Adam is 'the monster' that everyone sees him as) And worst of all, for me to live, I gotta kill the part of me that saw That I needed you more (His approach to Lilith wanting to leave him was to pretend he didn't want her either. That he didn't care about her or Lucifer, or whatever happened to them)

I hope you know we had everything And you broke me and left these pieces (Them leaving, and especially Lucifer's words about how everyone will pick anyone else than him, definitely broke him to pieces. He was left to put himself back together, but he never truly healed right) I want you to hurt like you hurt me today and I want you to lose like I lose when I play what could have been (His response to Lilith being made infertile may have been harsh, but it was understandably bitter, as a response to the pain they caused him first)

Why don't you love who I am? What we could have been? (Lilith loving Lucifer instead of him, and the two of them choosing to leave together, rather than stay with him. I can imagine it felt to Adam like there was something wrong with him, that he already felt unlovable even before Lucifer rubbed salt in the wound with his later comment/curse)

I am your ghost, a fallen angel (Adam's appearance in Splinter Fractures certainly looks ghostly) You ripped out all my parts I couldn't care what invention you made me 'Cause I, I was meant to be yours (He firmly believed that him and Lilith were meant to be together forever, that's what made her rejection hurt as much as it did. They were literally made for each other, but Lilith still didn't want him)

- • -

That's it, that's the list (for now)! This post is so fucking long aaaaaa. I hope you like it anyways, and if you don't go through all of the lyrics that's fine, thanks for asking anyways <3

Indigo (finally got this out of drafts)

[grntaire]

Yoooo I really love the choral music you’ve recently shared. I’m not really that familiar with it as a genre of music and don’t normally seek it out? but occasionally a piece will find its way to me (like at a funeral or now your blog), and I find it arrestingly beautiful. maybe partly because it’s a strange and unfamiliar medium to me. Do you have any favorites you would recommend for further exploration? 🩷

hi this is maybe the most hyped i've been for an ask ever bc i go fucking crazy for choral music so YES i do have recs for you. i will try to limit my little thoughts however i am very annoying so it will not go well

gibbons' hosanna to the son of david goes insanely hard. so jovial and fun and i had a blast singing this in undergrad! i love renaissance polyphony and this is a prime example of it!

poulenc's o magnum mysterium is truthfully wacky in the best most french way ever. and imo poulenc's queerness is so clear and present in his music so anything by him i love. my beautiful fruity catholic with a disorder <3

chesnokov's spaseniye sodelal is russian orthodox perfection fr. when my choir in undergrad read thru this i was stood between two low basses and at THAT part (1:32) i felt like i was being punched from the inside out. also the text means "salvation is created in the midst of the earth" and i think that's like. so fucking sick

stacey gibbs' arrangement of ezekiel is THE american spiritual arrangement to me. i once sang this in an italian church under a mexican conductor and then later we all sang it drunkenly for the owner at the hotel we were all staying at it was wild and so so so fun. such a beautiful and massive example of a joyful american spiritual also it's straight up a banger honestly. could talk ad nauseum abt how badass black choral scholars are and how grateful i am for all of the work that they've done and for inviting ppl to learn abt and experience it <3

holst's i love my love is one of my favs of all time. unfortunately england fucking devours when it comes to their choral tradition and this piece does one of my fav things where the way the composer sets the text changes its meaning! it's abt a woman named nancy who is in bedlam bc her love died at sea and it effectively broke her. while there, he comes to her, alive, breaks her out and they get married. while the poem itself shows a happy ending, the way holst plays w tempo and texture makes me go hmmm. 90% sure he did not show up and she's experiencing a delusion of sorts to cope w her grief (the i love my love's in the sopranos & altos at 1:24 kind of emulate a rocking motif, almost as if she's rocking herself back and forth in a soothing gesture, or the rocking of the ship he died on) and that tenor entrance in the melody after almost emulates her love coming to rescue her. god this whole piece makes me feel like my skin is on fire and i think it's a devastating portrayal of mental illness and you can rip it from my cold dead hands

stanford's beati quorum via is literally just gorgeous front to back. again unfortunately the english stay slaying

jake runestad's a silence haunts me literally does fucking haunt me and it changed the way i think about choral music. it's a setting of an unsent letter of beethoven's where he talks about losing his hearing and how afraid he is of losing it. this one you def have to watch bc there's a visual element to it! no spoilers but holy shit it shuts my brain down it's brutal and beautiful. i saw its premiere in 2019 and the entire hall was sobbing. like i have the words "be well" tattooed on me bc of it. the way the piano quotes moonlight sonata and his 9th symphony and the tensions emulating his tinnitus. OUGH

[glitchotic]

heard ya have some lego movie headcanons (interested)

Ooughhhh i have soo manyyy.... for example this one's technically not a hc but does anyone else ride or die for fat/chubby emmet??? i mean i already always hc'd as being a bit overweight but adding on the fact that rex says hes "chiseled features were hidden under "baby fat"" just totally solidifies chubby emmet for me. additionally, people who are afraid to draw wyldstyle/lucy as buff make me sooo irritated especially in her apocalypse form like omfg theyre parodying mad max rn and you dont think shed be built like a brick house (no pun intended) rn? but okay sure. i guess you could make the argument of "well she needs to be sneaky and well hidden" as if her ex boyfriend isnt literally batman who is ripped and does that shit but i digress. i've discussed this in my benny/metalbeard post but metalbeard being a tech freak is mad underrated of a headcanon to me, i think him geeking out over new tech just makes so much sense to me bc i firmly believe metalbeard wants to have the most swashbuckling, most advanced pirate ship of the sea. especially considering when queen whatevra offered an entire planet sized ship for him and he added on things like a keyboard to his build and he just seems like hes always open to new technology and ideas. SPEAKING OF QUEEN WHATEVRA. technically more abt mayhem, i sooo hc her as being like a raver/kandi kid/scene girl type idk something abt her design to me screams "i listen to dj s3rl" I ALSO THINK SHE MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH LUCYS ORIGIN BECAUSE HOW DID SHE KNOW HOW TO REMOVE THE SHARPIE FROM HER HAIR HRMMM?? PLUS THE FACT THE SYSTARIANS KNOW THAT POP MUSIC CAN AFFECT THE WAY PEOPLE THINK..... ADDITIONALLY THE DUPLONS SANG THE EVERYTHING IS AWESOME SONG........... MUCH TO THINK ABOUT HERE IS ALL IM SAYINNGGG... also i in general feel like no one talks abt mayhem/lucys relationship...... sorry but like tlm3 real needs to happen bc i want so desperately to see more of mayhem getting to know lucys story and being so invested and helping her heal and recover and full go back to her true self and ohgfggmmffg imaging how adorable the specialstyle interactions would be after emmet just being like "woagghh youre so beautiful" and shes like "this outfit is smaller than i remember..... kinda hurts"......... oh THIS ONEEE I NEVER SHUT UP ABT but UNIKITTYS CAT HALF IS A TIGER SHE IS HALF TIGER AND ULTRAKITTG IS PROOF!!! i think puppycorns dog half is a shiba cos of the curly little tail and his tendency to be air headed and goofy. i also think puppycorn and unikitty would b the type to use gen alpha slang to piss off master frown but thats me getting into my unikitty! headcanons lol.... ummmm .... i also really like audhd emmet and autistic benny but GUYSSS HEAR ME OUTTT SWEET MAYHEM GIRL AUTISM. think about it.... ermmm thats all i can think of rn i have more but its so hard to talk abt my hcs w out a specific prompt 💔😔

[that-gt-and-vore-stuffs]

I believe I'm that someone which I apologize for not responding I get distracted easily 🤣

But I'm absolutely interested in hearing about your GB vore thoughts sorry for the initials don't know how the slashes work for this

Actually, I didn’t mean you lol. I have another friend who took all of three minutes after my initial post to pop up in my discord feed abt “hey so I saw ur post” lol. Although I’m always open to ramble. Also don’t worry about the slashes, I just do that so my posts don’t end up on the main tags

Now for the thoughts-

All four of the main idiots are switches. Why do I feel this way? Because you cannot tell me that eating each other is not one of the many many ways they show affection right along side being assholes to each other

As I discussed with the above mentioned friend (@thefanciestborrower in case you were interested and just to make sure they see this post) It’s one of the ways Winston is informed that he’s truly been accepted as a Gho/stbus/ter.

He got ate one day, completely out of the blue, and went to Janine about it later. She just laughed and told him he’s officially be adopted into the idiot squad.

Speaking of Janine, she’s the only one spared from the constant random noms in the firehouse. Not because shes a full Pred or anything but because they’re afraid of her.

The Gho/stbus/ters might not fear ghosts, but they do fear their dear friend and secretary Janine.

She’s got a shot glass of cocktail swords and toothpicks she wields and wields well when small

Has stabbed Peter on multiple occasions for almost setting his hand on her while she was small

Egon is a Pred lean for science, although not against being ate so long as he’s warned and willing

Ray falls to the prey side but is pretty center. Can and has eaten the others

Peter is a pure switch, like the ass he is

Winston leans Pred, HOWEVER poor dude was stuck getting ate for the first few months after joining the crew

They’re all silly little guys tbh. Thats all.

Dana and Janine talk about how stupid they are all the time after work. They think it’s the funniest thing in the world. The boys? Not so much.

Can you eat ghosts? Test results have been…inconclusive so far

And those are the main ones for now! I’m sure my mind will think of some more soon but if you have more thoughts I’d always be open to hear them! Glad my rambles entertain yall still and it’s good to be back :)

[forgottenroderick]

OOC | Roderick & Amira

in the spirit of fleshing out interfamilial relationships where i play multiples, i wanted to dive in w this toxic mess too! so this is gonna focus on roderick's feelings re: amira and my plan is ultimately to reblog it from her site w her feelings re: him as well hahahah so! without further ado, let's get into this mess! if you wanna skip ahead to their current vibes [ here ]'s his pinterest board for amira! ;D

roderick's biggest feeling abt amira is that whole 'not like other girls' thing. amira keeps her emotions largely under lock and key, mostly just floating around giving off menacing vibes instead asdkjfkljdsf which roderick is like 'damn, nice' about basically bc #thatsthegoal he too wishes to be feared...unfortunately for everyone, he ~also wants to be admired (smth abt which amira couldn't give two figs but ill get more into that later) hence burning naysayers as witches basically lakjsdfkljdjfs however!! amira might be a witch (jury's out lkasdjfkljsdfj) but you must NEVER speak of that in roderick's hearing bc he's like I SEE NOTHING I DONT WANT TO always lksdjfakjlsdjf and if you bring this to his intention, instead of bringing his ire down on his queen it'll bring it down on ~you bc itd make him look bad to hate witches and then turn around and marry one so, like, to notice this inconsistency is frankly unpatriotic!!!!!!

but!!!! let's really dig into their interpersonal relationship!!!!! ok so roderick first met amira when she came bearing the head of the deposed god-king of kolchis out to him. she was quite young (im thinking she may have lied abt her age at first bc like...roderick is a creep in a lot of ways but not quite ~that one...like, don't get me wrong, 16??? we're talking aksldjfkljdsf like, he ~is a creep, but under 16 even ~he is like 'that's a literal child' but amira's ambitions weren't gonna be held back by a couple years!!!!! bc this was her moment and if she didnt ensnare him then she never would bc ngl roderick ~can be a lil goldfish-like this way -- he's got a loT of beautiful women tryna get his attention yknow aldksjfkldsjf), but i mean look at her she's a stunner, and she wasn't afraid of gore (obv laksjdfkljdsf she was literally carrying around a head on likely a silver tray bc why not ;D stylish AND convenient alksdjfkljsdjfk judith meets salome style ig aklsdjfkjdsjf), which deF shocked him at first no lie!!!!! like women are supposed to faint at the sight of blood!!!!! but she was def rocking that bad girl chic (it ~is her thing laksdjfkljdsf) and being perceived as a conquering hero and feted by the ppl who he'd conquered was!!!!! fun!!!!!! ngl i think he's still chasing that high!!!!

roderick does ~generally go for the good girl archetype, i think, but when he first saw her he def wasn't thinking he'd ever take another wife! he was thinking...that looks like a fun fling!!! (before he had multiple wives, he def took mistresses when he wasn't w his wife bc he was off campaigning etc, tho he was v discreet abt it and idk how widely that's known or not? im down w whatever works best for plots re: that, if we ever wanna explore it hahaha he's also def of that medieval belief that you can't sleep w a pregnant woman bc she and the baby might die!!!!! but ~he can't go without ofc soooo anything goes and def doesn't count as cheating!!!!! bc he's just being a good guy protecting his wife and kid!!!! lakjsdfkljdsjf and same kinda goes if he's away from his family on campaign or whatever for a prolonged period!!!!! *facepalm*)

anyway!!!! he meets her this way and he def thinks she'd be fun for a weekend or whatever, but she's like 'no, sir, im a lady' *looks directly into the camera but roderick doesn't notice* and we all know roderick enjoys a good conquest so this was frankly working really well!!!!! he was like 'have jewels!!! have money!!!!!' and eventually 'ill make you my official mistress! my wife can deaL' and she was like 'oh but i cannot for i am the priestess of calainon, and i cannot unless we are wed' anne boleyn style and THIS is when things change for roderick bc of that one lil word: CALAINON. i've already discussed roderick's feelings abt intertwining his legacy w that of the great calainon and now he can do that in a v LITERAL way and while he's mulling this over, but to his credit, he's unwilling to abandon his og wife, even tho he is pr frustrated that there's, as yet, no heir and there's a literal PROMISE of kids from amira re: the prophecy that the line of calainon will last until the ending of the world (too bad godfrey has plans to bring about that v ending #whoops ;DDDD)

finally perceiving that roderick won't be putting aside the og wife, tho (amira: sigh), amira one day whispers, 'oh, my love, if only it were like the days of yore when a man could take multiple wives...' and roderick suddenly has a thought entirely his own that amira def did not place there ;DDDD anyway, we all know how this goes!!!! (also like...damn...imaginie being wife #1, and i def think roderick wanted her to be present/have a role in the wedding ceremony, too, in order to showcase how they were all one big happy family, and you just know!!!!!!! that had to be like just sm fun for her!!!!! </3 esp bc ~she probs saw quite clearly that amira was a snake in the grass)

so more abt this on her side, but up until the wedding, amira has def been toeing this line between sultry and [ untouchable ] w a heaping topping of godly (when roderick invaded she had this revelation, you guys, that the fire was actually to celebrate the one god of roderick and she was really ~his priestess all along!!! ;DDD) but now they're married and amira doesn't feel quite so constrained tho she does NOT like that the empress has more status than ~she as the primary wife and she deffff wants to have a boy right quickly so that she can cement her position as the undoubted mother of the next emperor!!!! roderick for his part didn't care which wife gave him a son, first, he just wanted one!!! however, w amira hiding her true nature less, it starts to bleed through and over time roderick begins to learn that she isn't in love w him at all, tho she keeps up the pretense, in her way, even now

now, as i said before, roderick here likes to be admired!!!! and, bizarrely, this is really working for him bc he also likes to conquer and it just...it gets all kinds of toxic. he loves her. he hates her, too. he wishes she would die. he craves her heart. she is too cold for a woman, too cold to be anything but respected, tho. and he still wants her. and sometimes he even thinks, as he used to, that perhaps she ~does love him, only to discover again that she does not. they fight and they fuck and they fight again and while this goes on, the empress gets weaker and weaker, and there's still no son from either of them!

enter marian. this is when things get real, honestly. before now they've been doing this weird toxic dance, but amira was secure in knowing she had her claws in him. she was still his new, shiny toy. now, she realizes she's lost that. and, slowly, he sees her see that. i think, after marrying again, roderick really perceives the real amira for the first time, and part of him sees this dark reflection of himself: that ruthless ambition, stripped of all the trappings he adorns his with to make it more palatable to his woldview: she's just ragged hunger, and deep down he understands that. and he detests it. but he can't put it away from himself either bc it tugs at smth dark inside himself, and strangely he trusts her more now bc he finally gets her, finally gets what's really driving her, and its what's driving him, too. they're both just scared kids that know what its like to be trampled and powerless, and will do whatever it takes never to be that way again. but worst of all, he knows that she can see that in him, too. so he can never let her go: never let her unleash that knowledge upon the world. so now they can really work together. and now they can really hurt e/o. and they do.

as ive discussed before, i do think that, when arthur was born, roderick was like 'ah yes at last my heir!' but amira changed all of that! amira never forgot that the empress had precedence over ~her as the first wife and like hell she was gonna let anyone forget that the same applied to amira and marian! ~her son was to the heir!!! and roderick is fine w this: let the women squabble for his favor. this suits him just fine!! he doesn't yet see his sons as threats to his own situation or greatness bc they're still little, but that'll come as they hit they're teenage years don't worry! lkajsdkfjdsfh and then his empress dies and everything changes. bc the whole world revolves around roderick, and bc she's been deteriorating since the moment he married amira, roderick is sure that her death is ~his fault (and he's not entirely wrong since he did bring the person who poisoned her into contact w her while also furnishing that person w a motive ~to poison her!) and he is inconsolable. i feel like for two weeks he locked himself in his room and would do nothing but carry his lil daughter around and promising her the whole world

but smth else happened, too: during the empress' final illness, roderick saw a side of amira he'd never seen before as she tenderly nursemaided the empress, never leaving her alone for a moment even as she grew worse and worse and worse. he'd never seen tenderness in amira, save a smidge towards their son in his infancy, insisting on wetnursing him herself and always attending v faithfully to all his meals and such!! and roderick found that, despite her failure to save the empress, he was grateful to amira for what she'd done! or at least (seemingly) tried to do! smth that, coupled w his guilt, bound him to her.

ofc, the marked favoritism he then showed to guin certainly did amira's peace of mind no favors, and she'd pick at him, but his laugh was a dead thing, and he'd just tuck a curl behind his daughter's ear and tell amira over his shoulder to see to her own son and leave him to his daughter and chuckle dryly as she stood in all her towering fury knowing she was dismissed and that he'd call for the guards to escort a hysterical woman to her chambers if she persisted any longer.

ofc the first fervor of the empress' loss did wear off, and we've discussed at length roderick's wonderful parenting skills. their relationship has ebbed and flowed largely w his relationship w edmund, esp since -- now that he understands her ambition is his own -- he knows edmund is a chip he can use to hurt and maneuver her as much as she knows this same abt him. she will always advocate for her boy and he can show his approval to ~her, even, by showing it to edmund, or simply by denying it to guin or arthur -- and his lack thereof in the same way.

i do think, like i said, he still sees amira as ~not like other women~ so if he had to pick a queen to serve as regent (not that he ever would tbqh!!!), itd probs be amira from the fact that he trusts to her logic and to her ambition...however!! he likewise does not trust amira since he knows she serves her own ends not ~his, but does trust that marian would do precisely what he asked. this is def a moot point tho bc lbr the only ppl he'd trust w this would be bartholomew or alaric, but here we are! my general point is that he does sort of see amira ~as her own thing~ but tbh im not sure that does her too many favors all the time bc she's def a curiosity -- less than a man, more than a woman, smth which i think he largely attributes to her calainon heritage so yeah!! lakjsdfjkldsf this has been an examination of roderick's relationship w amira lkajsdfkjdsf there's more but this covers the general stuff lkfasdjfkljsdkjf

he does see her brothers as entirely loyal to himself, as sensible men, but its no secret that they're all team edmund (tbh i think tristan is more team: lets just prevent a civil war and keep my nephew safe and happy and not force him to go to war w his own siblings, but roderick just assumes an edmund-for-emperor bias), but yeah that's a whole other thing and def way less important bc those're just sort of ancillary reltionaships to his ones w amira and edmund, from his own pov

there is just one thing left to say, and that's that...roderick loved her, he did, and now he knows she never loved him and...they understand e/o in a way no one else does, but...he's sad and bitter bc he wanted her love, even if he just lost it, he wanted it bc he loved her, and he hates that he was the weak one and ~she the conqueror and that causes all sorts of chaotic undercurrents and subtext, both trying to steal her heart at one moment and tryna punish her another as well as a thousand little daggers and sadnesses and bitterness and pleading and storming and yeahhh toxic!!!! its just toxic lakjsdfkljdsjf

[snoopysfriendwoodstock]

what's ur full ttpd song ranking and why?

omg… this will be long lol

1. who’s afraid of little old me? - taylor has tried “female rage” a couple times now and it always falls flat bc she has to be the victor/mastermind of all of it. mad woman & vigilante shit just kinda suck! FINALLY in this song she sort of admits defeat? i find it really interesting to hear her reflecting on her career & her own view of herself and the public perception of her without her feeling the need to throw a “but i’m okay! and actually i’m winning!” in at the end. also the vocals and theatrics are soooo good i just love it <3

2. the smallest man who ever lived - that ENDING. this takes me back to some very classic taylor songs, especially the dear john bridge or last kiss bridge and as a speak now girl i can’t get enough.

3. the prophecy - both people who love this song and people who hate it reduce it down to “she’s sad she doesn’t have a boyfriend” but imo this song perfectly captures the ACHE of being someone who just always has a little ribbon of loneliness running through them. it’s that dark middle of the night place you can’t let yourself go to. and it’s PERFECT.

4. so high school - i don’t have a lot to say here but this is the song she’s talking abt when she says she’s putting narcotics in them. i love it so much. do that impression you did of your dad again ❤️

5. but daddy i love him - i love her delusional ass! also the “i’m having his baby” line is soooo funny sorry!

6. guilty as sin? - there’s a reason this one’s a fan favorite! it’s just soooo good. there’s nothing wrong with a sexy song.

7. so long, london - “i’m just mad as hell cause i loved this place” is such a taylor line. so simply devastating. i think she got away from just very simply stating her emotions/feelings in her newer albums but this song has soooo many lines that go back to that form of writing that she’s so good at. “stopped trying to make him laugh” is another one that really hits.

8. loml - this hits my favorite genre of taylor swift song that is just so sad it’s almost like oh my god you have to stop… what a valiant roar! what a bland goodbye!

9. the black dog - ik i’m kind of a broken record at this point but “i just don’t understand how you don’t miss me” is SOOOO taylor. very early taylor! and i love the idea of taylor swift having someone’s location on her phone. she is sooo pathetic she’s just like me!

10. the bolter - songs used to be STORIES!

11. the alchemy - i can’t explain it. it just scratches my brain really well. i love how it soundssss

12. fresh out the slammer - i LOVE the chorus on this one. and i love when it slows down at the end and gets kinda weird.

13. clara bow - i LOVE this song. i love how haunting it is i love “you look like taylor swift” i love how pessimistic it is as an album closer. it feels like folklore again w/ hoax as the last song. she said we are NOT in change/long live/begin again/clean/new years day/daylight hours anymore we have LOST hope. in fact it’s super interesting compared to change/long live that are all optimistic about the industry/making a name for herself bc now she’s realized there were other taylor swifts before and there will be other taylor swifts later.

14. how did it end? - another just absolute fucking banger of a sad song. the commentary on fame/the public/her fanbase hits.

15. i hate it here - unfortunately this song is sooooo me it’s not even funny.

16. i can do it with a broken heart - who is this “nobody” that doesn’t know she’s miserable? i love this song it’s so funny. “i cry a lot but i am so productive” is a lyric that was necessary for society

17. my boy only breaks his favorite toys - this song grew on me SO much. it’s so pathetic i love it.

18. florida!!! - this song rocks so hard. i think taylor & florence’s voices compliment each other so much

19. the albatross - i love her voice on this one. she’s here to destroy you!!!

20. the tortured poets department - i love this one i’m sorry. i love the sound i love that it feels like she’s trying something new i love how cringe and desperate it is. also lucy dacus mention!

21. peter - i wish i understood this song the way a lot of people do but it’s simply not my favorite! i do love the way she keeps repeating “you said you were gonna grow up then you were gonna come find me” in the chorus. don’t listen to this & never grow up back to back. it’s not funny.

22. down bad - hated this one at first but it has REALLY grown on me. i love the alien abduction metaphor! “i might just die it would make no difference” is like come on girl get up

23. i look in people’s windows - love this one, don’t listen to it much. but never skip when it’s on. her voice is gorgeous and i loveee the writing on it

24. the manuscript - again, i don’t choose to put this one on much but holy shiiiitttt… now she eats kids cereal? and can only sleep if it’s in her mother’s bed?

25. cassandra - i love the idea of this and it has some great lyrics but i feel like she didn’t quite get it off the ground? i love the bridge. it’s like ALMOST there. cassandra is my favorite mythological figure so maybe i just had really high expectations.

26. imgonnagetyouback - this will for sure rise in the rankings soon bc i’m finally getting it. it’s so fun, just not as good as a lot of the anthology tracks.

27. fortnight - i don’t love this one, but the chorus is really catchy. & post malone’s verse is the best part, that gets stuck in my head all the time.

28. thanK you aIMee - god this song is so funny. “everybody knows my mother is a saintly woman but she used to say she wished that you were dead!” i’m just kinda sick of these kind of songs from her if that makes sense?

29. chloe or sam or sophia or marcus - i’m waiting for this one to click!!! i’m sure it will & there’s parts i REALLY like but i skip it every single time

30. robin - i’m sorry it’s a skip from me. it’s beautiful but i’m never ever wanting to hear it. it’s sweet! but not for me

31. i can fix him (no really i can) - idk the rhythm and tempo of this song doesn’t work for me. it sucks bc her voice is so sexy on this one & i love the pathetic aspect but i always skip. it’s not as bad as my least favorite on other albums tho <3

[kzele]

Just read ur post abt Sha-Shan & THANK YOU for giving her some content/credit.

Now I'm curious to hear if you have any thoughts on Liz, MJ or Aunt May. If you don't then that's fine. Again, I appreciate how you aren't afraid to call out Gwen's flaws.

Sha-Shan is an underrated gal, for sure. No one talks about her and it makes me really sad because I loved her execution.

Well, like many fans, I think that Liz was done dirty by the writers. Especially after that thing w/ her brother. She and Peter had far better chemistry and they made him incredibly OOC in order to get him to dump her. Liz's character is faithful to her comicbook counterpart's crush on Peter, but the way they've redone Peter's side is not. I've read the comics and once Peter was dating someone, he committed to the relationship. The reason Peter and Liz never got together in Lee-Dikto is that he was dating comic Betty Brant (terrible girlfriend and paranoid mess who was forever freaking out over Peter leaving) and never really thought about other girls seriously until they broke up. Liz's evolution is good so there's not much to say about that, but they should have either (a) kept her crush unrequited, (b) have her and Peter break up about issues that had nothing to with Gwen, or (c) kept them together and worked out their issues with Liz as a pattern-breaking love interest.

EDIT: Also, when she and Flash broke up over (in part) her interest in Peter, she showed later showed signs of confusion over Flash and Peter. The same confusion that Peter had over her and Gwen. Both she and Peter have that parallel over letting go of someone they cared for and moving on. That is also something that people gloss over. They made similar choices in that scenario but no one gives Peter credit for letting go or Liz crap for not being able to decide.

MJ is a character I love. She is faithful to her comic self and has far better judgement about things than other characters. She warned Peter that Eddie was bad news and gave him the specifics of that horrible date. She helped save Gwen from Venom and there's hints that she at least suspects Peter of being Spidey like in the comics. MJ is straightforward in letting the guys know what she wants right now. However, my main issue with her is trying to break up Peter/Liz for Peter/Gwen. I know Gwen is her friend but breaking up the relationship of the sister of the guy you're dating isn't really. . .nice. Of course, MJ sees all dating through a non-serious/jaded lens so it makes sense that she doesn't feel why that would be a big issue, but still.

May is the best. Some criticize her for the curfew and getting involved in Peter's dating life, but it's easily understandable because Peter is the only one she has left in her family so of course she worries about him. And she never forced him to date MJ outside of that prom date. She's overprotective and nosy, but also. . .she's a single parent with a lot of responsibility who's trying not screw up with her baby. Name a good parent who hasn't meddled with their kid's life.

I have many more thoughts but I'd be typing till doomsday to write them all down coherently.

[cogbreath]

its very stressful and painful and honest to god heartbreaking when my mom tells me to avoid stepping in when my dad is being abusive bc she's worried he'll get worse towards her if i do . shit got rlly ugly tonight. im very very tired of having to just watch & hear this shit happen. im very tired of having to pretend it doesnt effect me. im tired of being made to stay out of the way im tired of being told to be nice to that man im really so tired. my whole life basically in this house ive had to live like 😐. i dont think either of them really realise how deeply this shit has broken me apart over and over again thru my life. ive been having to be the Neutral Mediator since my childhood with this. its very distressing for a child to have to tell their own mother that this shouldnt be happening. that its not normal.

i dont think any of them understand how often i/my alters think about Ending It For Good. why woildnt i? do you think the way ive grown up makes a person feel like they even have a future at all? especially when as a kid i was afraid he was gonna try that first and kill us both. i have a deep internal thought that i need to do it before he does ir first

my mom is still talking like shes on voard with having him move out of here soon but like. when is soon. soon is coming, right???

i csnt let that not happjen

i will lose it if that plan falls through

i dont rlly have any drugs or anyrhing to ease myself

i dont know what to do

shpuld i just run away?

i dont have anywhere to go. i have no friends no job nothing like that but this is just so painful to deal with. and. honestly. i cant leave her alone with him. i cant. i know my existence and presence does little to acrually help keep things from going worse; but i feel that if i wasnt here, it would get way way worse

my mom has so many breakdowns abt how nobody wnats to save her or help her

i do

i do

but she doesnt want to LET me. i dont know what she wants. i dont know what im supposed to do anymore. ive given all my advice. i tey to listen to her ans let her vent but its not enough i guess

[secondchoice-ragdoll]

Am I the only one who is a little sad that the moment Trixie was single she didn't take a second look at Katya and immediately went to the ex? She could've given her a chance. And I wonder how K really feels now that she wants kids. I know she doesn't want them herself, but I'm afraid this will change things between them and I really really hope they don't.

ugh okay first of all: im totally w u and i a 100% see ur point. these have crossed my mind too, and i can easily get to a place where these topics make me sad for a while. but genuinely i dont think we should worry too much abt any of it. at the end all i want is for them to be happy, no matter how that looks like🤝

on a further note, we cant be like *actually* sure abt any of what is going on? like yes it seems pretty clear, and it might as well be exactly as we think it is, its all spelled out, isnt it? its really just that we were the ones who spelled it out, and not T, or any other person who is practicipating in the situation. all im saying is that i wouldnt advise anyone to bet on whats going on w T rn (if for nothing else then just out of respect), and im sure eventually we will hear either a confirmation or a fully different story that will clear things up.

specualtion is free tho, and also pretty interesting, so as long as we keep it kinda hush-hush i think its okay that we entertain ourselves w these anecdotes. like im totally in, and i do think *the* ex is now truly an ex, like that much id even dare to place a bet on. the rest is just questionmarks😭😭😭 like i could see this new guy being actually something, or just a rebound-fling, or just a friend(?). and its also possible that he is the old ex, and then i do have even more questions, but the bar is under a frog's ass after the last guy, so im appriciative towards anyone who is slightly better than him, and it would appear to be a true challenge to be worse than him💀 sooo idk i do believe yall that that guy on the pics is really old KY guy, im just not sure if they r friends or fwb or dating or a secret fourth option? doesnt matter as long as T is okay and having fun. (also, i do think she could have spent some time being single IF she is in a relationship again, but hey, anything is better than how we were around a year ago, no? and as long as a guy doesnt treat her like shit im happy for her!!!) ((and yes. i am really sad miss K got looked over again if thats the case. even if i dont think we will ever get to live in a world they r actually legit dating. in another universe for sure. but in this one? too many hangups. these creatures cant even fucking talk abt the fact that they'd like to hang out more tgthr. like..... be fr😭 they r stooooopid, and thats okay. its sad, its tragic, but its okay, and they have a really special relationship regardless of whether they ever go that far or dont. there is always hope, and even if they fall out now, maybe they need it to break and actually confront the fact that they want to hang out? like there r so many ways for things to go. soooo many. i could sit here and spin this wheel on for hours with no end, i promise. i do think it could have happened in like 2020-2023? maybe even beginning of 24. but as things stand now... eeeh i think it wouldnt be such a clean cut, but they do tend to do things the more complicated way, at least thats how it seems to me. the thing is that they r such complex ppl and they have so many motives that i could make literal lists about what their excuses might be (such as work, but now that T says it doesnt matter that much maybe it changes, or such as age, or what-ifs, or fear of ruining what they have, or thinking that maybe they have missed their chance, new/old confidence issues, mental health states? ...these two...). on the other hand, do we really think K got looked over? Ts literal god? im not so sure, but only time will be able to tell wtf has been going on.))

i see ur concern, and yeah change is fucking scary, especially if such comforting things change. but u see, this could be exactly one of their hangups too. things keep changing no matter what, all we can do is hope they both r okay and happy and nice parts of each other's lives.

i understand that T keeps speaking abt wantimg kids, and sure, pop off! but like, i reaaaally doubt she would be actually having kids this year? like i feel like its maybe a new thing for her to think of having kids as an actual possibility she considers for her future, thus she speaks abt it openly since its one of the things she is interested in now! but like, having a kid is not this quick of a process, even a pregnancy takes 9 months😭😭 and also im pretty sure that her life isnt at a place where she could pick up a kid tomorrow and just go on and be her best self as a parent and i feel like she must be aware of that? T and K would both be at least okay parents, thats for sure!! but like, considering Ts past year... yeah i dont think it will be such a quick happening. once, in a few years, sure! even in 2, why not! but not tomorrow. she'd do fine as a single parent, she'd do fine w a partner, it will be fine, just really not as soon as some ppl r concerned it might be😭 let her just get that birdie first, i think that could be a logical and nice next step!

finally, i really dont think K would have such a problem w children? (even if she did, dont u think shed make an exception for T? im pretty sure she'd do almost anything for/with T.) like she absolutely adores her nephew as far as i know, so im certain she wouldnt delete T's contact info if/when she had a kid. im pretty sure T wouldnt block Ks number either just bc she became a parent, she also seems to know how nice K is to kids despite not necessarily getting them (see: her gifting a lot of money to her nephew's, like, 4th bday? but i could argue that thats a great gift, just more long term great😭). and what if T gets that kid and eventually calls K for help (more likely for herself and not the kid, but this is besides the point), and then K does help, and then they spend even more time together with this newfound excuse, and they realise how well they function as a family, and then they can finally move in together and be lesbians and be disgustingly in love and live happily ever after??? what then???? anyways, my point is that even if they r in a tiny bit of a divitation i highly doubt it would be due to T wanting a kid. i think its more that they both were afraid during T's break that if they reached out more they would annoy the other one, bc "omg what if she needed a break from me too???" (like. T needed a break from her god. and K needed a break from the person who tethers her to this earth. sure jan. emotionally they do have some challenges, thats certain!). and maybe they need to drift a bit apart to then get back together and be even closer (if that is scientifically even possible). things arent as linear and easy as we would like them to be, and since our perspective is and outside one, im pretty sure that from their pov it seems or at least feels sooooo much more complicated. while i just sit on the floor and go "just date ffs its not that hard!!4!4 look back footage of ur faces while u look at eachother!!! thats all u need!!44!", and we r both right! it is very complicated but it could also be manageable. (what i think might be more painful here is if T has the kid w a partner, bc that seems pretty, uh, *certain*, or unchangable, final? obvi its not ***that*** drastic, but it is a bigger deal. so yeah, but i stand by my op that none of this will happen in the blink of an eye, we'll see as it unfolds ig and hope for smth real nice)

[cryiling]

what do you think revalink's baby would be like? would it be a rito or a hylian would it be blood related to either link or revali? do you think they would get a surrogate? i wanna write a baby revalink fic but i'm still not sure what kind of baby they would have

ooh I've never thought abt it before! I feel like they'd probably choose to adopt an orphan? since they're both canonically orphans bc I said so and they know how it felt to try and survive in a world that is not kind to those without parents, they want to be able to protect other kids from having to know that pain if they can help it 🥹

their first child is a rito, who was orphaned at a young age bc the single mother died shortly after childbirth :'( normally when a fledgeling is left without parents in rito village the community tries their best to collectively raise the fledgeling, but as we've seen with revali, this doesn't work out very well as the fledgeling doesn't receive the proper attention or care they need to develop. so when link and revali hear about the young orphan, they volunteer to take her in as their own. don't ask me name of the kid though bc idk AJDBAJDH

they live together as a small happy family for several years. ofc as new parents, link and revali have some struggles, but they're able to talk with other parents like saki and teba and amali about parenting tips. link also learns a lot more about rito culture and what is traditional when raising a fledgeling (don't ask me what these traditions and cultures are idk man💀). revali is also learning about a lot of these for the first time because he was never really raised in a traditional way and didn't realize parental figures were supposed to do all these things because certainly no one did for him :((

one day on one of their travels together (they left their fledgeling at home because they knew there would be monsters on the road and they didn't want to put their daughter in any potential danger🥺🥺) they see a camp of monsters off the side of the road. they go to fight them, but as they move closer, they realize the monsters had taken a little hylian toddler and were harassing and attacking him, and suddenly link is remembering his own childhood, powerless against monsters and hylian bullies alike, so alone and afraid, and link is moving before he can realize what is happening, his head buzzing with the only thought to protect the kid. revali quickly moves to back him up in the fight, and it's over in a matter of minutes.

there's a treasure chest that unlocks when all the monsters are killed, but link couldn't care less about that, he's rushing towards the boy to see if he's okay or injured, if his parents are around, and the toddler can only look up at him helplessly, eyes wide and tear-filled, so clearly and incredibly alone and abandoned. link turns to revali, who has been watching this exchange, and says, "we have to take him in."

revali knows the look in link's eyes, the face of someone remembering their past, the same face link wakes up with after nightmares of the calamity. he knows they both have a chance to protect this boy from a life on the streets, from being tormented by the evils that lurk on the streets and in civilizations, and so they decide to bring the boy home with them.

when they return to rito village, they introduce their daughter to the boy. she's still very young, so they do their best to explain how they found him without the traumatizing details, but when they tell her that he will be joining their family, she holds the boy in her arms and looks up at them reverently, whispering, "I'm going to be a big sister?" with joy in her eyes.

and relief floods revali and link, knowing that their family is going to be okay, that they'll all be able to take care of each other, that their children will be raised with the support only siblings can provide, that they will cherish this family forever. it's not a perfect family, and it's certainly not borne of blood relations, but the emotional bond they all have with each other is stronger than blood could ever be

[teddybeartoji]

mayor mickey,

i want to know your Big Thought™️ about jason todd. the fact/head canon that you always come back to, the one that’s taken up residence in your brain and still doesn’t pay rent.

mine is that he’s capable of treating everyone but himself tenderly (it’s a work in progress)

xoxo sunnie (@fic-over-cannon)

SUNNIE DARLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my Big Thought™️ abt him isn't all that special but it's very important to me okay... that his hugs feel so fucking good. whenever he gives you a hug he just engulfs your whole body and it makes you feel so so so fucking safe:(((((((((((( he pulls you flush to him, pressing your head to his chest so you can feel his heartbeat while his big arms snake around your back. it feels like home. and he smells so fucking good too it truly does seem like nothing could ever hurt you as long as you stay in his arms:((((((((((((( WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH he's so fucking boyfriend i love himm

another thing that's always on my mind, and i think that ro has talked abt this too a while back i'm pretty sure she's actually the one that put it in my head in the first place but it's just that while he seems so big and tough, he's always helping out the elderly and the kids in his apartment building. like i can't stop imagining him carrying in his neighbor's groceries up the stairs,, she's just this older lady who also has a cat (who btw really likes jason lmao) aaand she always tells him that she has it but jason never budges he's got the grocery bag in his hand so fast that the woman doesn't even have the chance to try and keep it from him. they always walk up the stairs together and the lady sometimes tries to apologize for being a little slow and jason is so so quick to brush that off with a small smile, encouraging her to tell him abt her day. HE'S SUCH A SWEETHEART OK:(((((((((((((

aaand i feel like some of the kids were definitely a little afraid of him at first bc well.. he's all big and tough and he has scars and a motorcycle but then maybe one day they're playing in the yard and their ball gets stuck and jason happens to see it and he just helps them out without them having to ask him and he gives them a grin while shooting it in the hoop (he can be such a show-off omfg) and when he hears the young kids cheer for him he knows that he's finally cracking that scary idea of him that they have in their heads yk?

BUT WAHHHH:(((((((((((((( SUNNIEEE:(((((((((((((( you're so right he struggles with taking care of himself properlyy:((((((((((((((((((((( he works so hard no matter it is that he's doing and so i feel like his sleep isn't all too good and he probably doesn't eat as much as he should either:(((((((( but you're also right abt it being a work in progress!!!!!!!!!! he just needs that little push, said push being you, to see that he's important too. that he deserves everything that he's been giving out. he deserves all that tender care aswell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh i love him so bad i want to take care of him and help him love himself:((((((((((((((((

[teruthecreator]

OK I've been wanting to ask this for a little bit, but is Shou still in contact with his mom at the point that the story is at rn? Is she up to date with what's going on with Toichiro, Shou, and maybe Teru, or is Shou not really talking to her very much? And if he IS talking to her is he telling her everything that's happening or is he like purposely omitting some things?

Also hi hi hi I hope you're doing well :3

EXCELLENT QUESTION! i havent rlly brought it up bc like. honestly theres so many moving parts to tfs its hard to keep everything relevant, but in my mind i think he is still in contact w her. its not Often that he calls but when he does i think they mostly engage in like, idle chatter. it’s kind of already established in canon that shou’s mom is frightened by her sons power (im looking at you dream omake), but i think other than that she is just generally Uncomfortable with hearing about what shou is doing and shou can kind of pick up on that. so i dont think he calls her often because of that and because hes just so darn busy with stopping world domination

i think shou’s mom feels a lot of guilt over how she handled leaving toichiro and the way their child got caught in the mix, so she’s not really the one initiating conversation. even tho she loves her son and would do anything for him, she’s afraid of stepping up as a mother and putting her foot down against her tyrannical ex husband. because what can she really do against him? and because of all this fear and guilt she’s driven a wedge between herself and shou just so she can survive without suffocating on those emotions.

what really fascinates me about the suzukis is how real they feel, despite their circumstances. and i hope it comes across in how i write them. i think it might be bc im a child of a very messy divorce but they just feel so raw to me in how both parents make vital mistakes that affect their kid. shou is neglected by his father but he also doesn’t really have his mother to fall back on bc she simply isn’t around. not for lack of trying, i assume, but i do think fear is primarily keeping her away and as much as that is understandable it is also something that hurts shou! and the beautiful thing abt the suzukis is its Shou thats the one trying to keep them together. instead of discarding his parents bc of their behavior, he embraces them and gives them another chance (at least in my interpretation). it just rlly goes to show much compassion and empathy shou has and how much he cares about his family

but i think, as of rn, that care is what keeps shou from being constantly in contact w his mom. because he would rather bear the weight of the world on his shoulders than let someone he loves be hurt.