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ashensgrotto · 9 months

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Never Had a Friend (like Me) - Part 1

Original art piece by pfbatakopd on twitter (Used only for Header. Do NOT REPOST ORIGINAL ART)

Part 1 (You Are Here) Part 2 Part 3

YandereSoulmate! AU:

Part 1 (Am I Feeling Love?)

Part 2 (Protective)

Part 3A & Part 3B (Poor Unfortunate Souls)

Characters: Azul Ashengrotto X F!Reader

Word Count: 9,105

Synopsis: A chance for redemption comes in the form of a wish…

Author’s Notes: Ok, here we go. I received an anonymous message in my inbox for the next part of the Yandere!Soulmate series and I was actually going to work on it - but with the arrival of GloMas, working on the next part of ‘Raison D’être,’ wanting to finish “Weren’t You Aware, Angelfish?”, AND the holidays, time got away from me and I forgot about Scarabia’s segment for a short while.

However, because you all seem to enjoy this and want to know if the tako has redeemed himself - I figured I would work to get this part done. Now, warning - Pompefiore’s part is going to take a bit of time to complete because I will have to wiggle my way through my memory bank and replay a few parts of it (which is approx 76 chapters in length for those players who haven’t made it that far into the game yet) since I’m working so deep into Ignihyde’s chapter right now (which is a doozy - I’m still in chapter 67-tower 1, oof help).

This one is also going to be split into three parts - I promise it will not be a long wait for the second & third parts as this is my Christmas gift to all of my readers <3

Thank you all for your continued support!

Warnings are as follows: yandere behaviors, manipulation, imprisonment, & hypnosis

***

I’m in the mood, to help you dude

You ain’t never had a friend like me.

***

It had been weeks since the last overblot incident… and just as long since Azul last saw you.

He sat in his office, looking over paperwork for the last quarter and rubbing his brow with worry.

The profits had started to steadily decrease following his overblot, causing the Monstro Lounge to slowly suffer the loss, like an infection slowly eating away a mer’s life. He had no one really to blame but himself for that… Azul had lost control, let his obsession get out of hand and had hurt the people closest to him.

Jade… Floyd… you.

Azul let out another large sigh and set the report down, taking his glasses off and rubbing his face. He had considered going back to the Coral Sea for holiday, but was unable to due to two reasons; one, the ice floes would’ve made the journey too dangerous to travel alone - especially since Jade and Floyd had already prepared to stay at NRC for the holidays, and two… you were still here.

Not in Octavinelle where Azul had wanted you to be, but in a rundown shack on the school property.

The building had been a dorm, once upon a time, but ghosts had moved in and scared the students to the point that the building was deemed ‘unsafe.’ However, with your charms and personality, the ghosts were easily persuaded and welcomed you in with open arms - though Azul had a sneaky suspicion that both the headwardens of Savanaclaw and Heartslabyul had likely persuaded the otherworldly spirits in exchange for access to both of their dorms. Regardless, with you no longer in Octavinelle and now at the mercy of the headmage’s “generous” nature, Azul could only watch from the shadows as you now tended to the school property in a janitorial role.

Azul leaned back in his chair, his thoughts plagued by you before an obnoxious ringing noise filled the office.

He grumbled, picking the phone up, “Monstor Lounge, this is Azul speaking.”

“Hello baby, how are you?” the familiar voice of his mother on the other end made Azul jump in surprise.

“Mother,” Azul coughed, “Hello - I apologize I hadn’t had a chance to call you. We’ve been busy lately.”

“Oh, I know, sweetheart,” his mother answered, “It’s been busy here too… but everything’s been calming down since the ice floes came - though I was surprised to see your letter that you were considering coming home for the holidays.”

‘Shit…’ Azul had completely forgotten about that - when (Y/N) had lived in the Octavinelle at the beginning of the year, Azul had entertained the idea of potentially inviting her to his home for the holiday, slowly and suringly getting her accustomed to the idea of staying with him - although it would prove to be a difficult task, especially now.

“However, I’m assuming that you changed plans at the last minute,” his mother continued.

“Y-yes, I was indeed planning on coming… however, Jade and Floyd both decided to stay behind so I chose to stay as well,” Azul answered, the lie slipping easily off his silver tongue, “Someone has to keep those two in line, after all.”

His mother snickered, “Don’t be saying that in front of their father though. Sevens knows what the moray will do if you say anything like that.”

Azul nodded, clearing his throat, “Um, well… What's going on with you, then? The restaurant still alright? How’s Finn?”

“Finn’s well - busy as always,” his mother answered, “Business has been getting better - hired several new staff members as well… a few sweet mers around your age, Zully.”

Azul rolled his eyes, “Mother… we’ve had this talk. I’m… not interested.”

“You might not be, but it will happen one day,” his mother’s voice was calm and soothing before she sighed on the end of the phone, “However… I have a sneaky feeling that you’re still upset about what I told you all those years ago.”

Azul bit his lip, answering, “Of course not… Soulmates? That’s ridiculous.”

“Azul…” his mother’s voice turned into a scolding tone, “There are plenty of fish out there - I know you’re still pretty young to be thinking about it, considering a mer’s life is longer than most, but shorter than a fae’s… but I only want you to be happy.”

“I am, mother,” Azul tried to smile, “I’m content where I am - I’ve gotten stronger, my business is growing, and… I’ve learned so much.”

“Perhaps, but allow me to give you a little insight - it’s something I learned long ago,” his mother prompted, “Happiness, though may be defined as ‘the state of joy or contentment,’ is typically filled by three main parts of life; success, dedication, and personal. Dedication and success go hand in hand with each other - if you work hard and are dedicated, you achieve success - even if the tasks prove to be difficult to the point that you might fail over and over again. Personal can mean time for yourself - spending time with your hobbies or doing what you love… spending time with those you care about even.”

Azul listened to his mother’s words, thinking.

“I know that you are successful and you’re dedicated,” his mother continued, “But you won’t achieve happiness if you just focus on those two things - take time for yourself now and again, look for stronger connections within your friendships… and look for someone that will want to support you and you support them.”

“I… I think I understand…” Azul answered, “I’ll… take your words into consideration.”

“I hope so - your grandmother taught me that when I was still a little octo fry many years ago,” his mother answered, a teasing tone caught in her voice.

Azul couldn’t help but smile, “Yes… Nanna always did know what was best.”

“Yes, she did, still does even… Well, I should probably let you go, then - you have a lot of stuff going on there,” his mother let out a sigh, “Just remember… I love you, baby. Merry Christmas.”

“I love you too… momma. Merry Christmas and I’ll see you at the end of the year.”

“I’ll hold you to that, Zully. Stay safe.”

Azul smiled and hung the phone up, sitting back in his chair and looking up at the ceiling.

“Finding that so-called ‘other half’ is like - well - like the story of the mermaid princess and her longing to be with a human. It’s a rare occurrence that only happens once in a millennium if not longer. Anyone can be happy with or without their soulmate, Azul. There’s no reason you should go to such lengths to be with someone who may not even exist…”

Azul shook his head at the memory of that day years ago - he wanted to forget… but sevens knows he couldn’t forget you.

A sudden loud crash had Azul bolting upright, his features twisting in annoyance. As far as he knew, the only ones in the lounge were Jade and Floyd… which could only mean one thing.

Trouble.

“Those two morons…” Azul gritted his teeth, standing from his chair, “If I catch the lounge in a disarray again…”

He grabbed his jacket, tossing it over his shoulders, before placing his hat upon his head, the magestone pen morphing into the headwarden’s silver octopus topped cane. He hurried from his office and headed into the lounge.

Entering the lounge, Azul’s eyes widened at the sight.

The lounge was damaged - several tables and chairs were overturned, marred by huge cracks and scratches while lamps lay in pieces on the floor, the glass orbs scattered into a thousand fragments on the carpeted flooring and the magestones cracked and shattered as well. Azul’s eyes narrowed on Jade and Floyd’s figures, but realized they weren’t alone after all. Several students from the Scarabia dorm were there as well, their wands out and at the ready - pointing them at Jade and Floyd, who seemed to be guarding something on the floor.

Azul’s eyes widened in surprise at seeing Kalim’s magic carpet as well as Grim hiding behind the remaining two members of Octavinelle - and they weren’t alone.

You were there as well, cowering behind Jade and Floyd’s intimidating heights as the Scarabia students glared daggers at you.

“There’s no escape for you now, thieves!”

“Surrender quietly!”

“Mrow?!” Grim held his paws up, “You chased us all the way here?! You guys are seriously stubborn, you know that?”

Azul remained quiet for a moment, his eyes shifting to look you over - noticing how you had one arm close to your body. Were you hurt?

Azul’s eyes narrowed as he approached, his shoes echoing in the lounge as his stern voice addressed the situation, “What is all the commotion at this late hour?”

The students turned to look at Azul, one of them speaking quietly, “Y-you’re… Azul Ashengrotto, the housewarden of Octavinelle!”

“Would you care to explain what is going on?” Azul asked calmly, moving to stand in front of you with Jade and Floyd behind him.

“It’s none of Octavinelle’s business,” another student tsked, “Just hand over the two of them quietly.”

Azul crossed his arms over his chest, tilting his head as he eyed you and Grim out of the corner of his eye, “Now that I’m looking closer at it - it appears to be (Y/N) and Grim sprawled out on our floor, quivering and covered in dust. Heh - I almost thought they were a pair of dust cloths.”

“Azul, please,” Azul met your gaze, “save us with your spirit of benevolence.”

“Hmm…” Azul turned back to the group of Scarabia before him.

“If you refuse to hand them over, you’ll be blamed for their wrongdoings as well,” the student warned.

“Hey - are ya yankin’ my tail here?!” Floyd’s eyes widened dangerously, his teeth peering out from behind his lips, “Who do ya think yer talkin’ to?!”

“No fighting of any kind is permitted in the Monstro Lounge,” Azul kept his arms crossed over his chest, his focus reshifting to address the situation at hand, “This is a place for gentlemen.”

“What was that? Are you interfering?” one of the students asked, “Fine, we’ll just do this the hard way.”

“Hmph, I think it’s time we asked these ill-mannered patrons to leave,” Azul growled, clicking his tongue in annoyance, “Jade. Floyd. Show them the door.”

The eel twins grinned as they moved quickly, going after the Scarabia students like the set of predators that they were. Azul was quick to move and cover (Y/N), his overcoat covering your form to protect you from the fighting, “Don’t look, my dear, I do not wish for you to see such behavior.”

“Azul - I’ve seen worse,” your voice rattled him to the core as he huffed.

“I... don’t need the reminder.”

It didn’t take long for the Scarabia students to fall back, Jade and Floyd repocketing their pens.

“Go on an’ scatter, ya bunch of minnows!” Floyd laughed eagerly.

“We’ll be eagerly awaiting your next visit to our lounge,” Jade smiled.

As the last of the students disappeared, Grim jumped for joy, “Mya-haha! We did it! You see that?! That’s what you get, you bunch of jerks!”

“We, Grim? I think you mean they - Floyd and Jade - did it,” you ask before shaking your head and turning toward the trio, “Thank you, all three of you - I don’t want to think what they would’ve done if you hadn’t stepped in.”

“Thanks are unneeded, my dear,” Azul answered, standing and offering his hand, “However, I’m afraid we’ll have to bill you for repair fees for the tables and chairs - not to mention the lamps and assorted dishwear that was damaged in that fight. Not to mention our own labor rates, since we were dragged into this affair.”

“WHAT?! You’re charging us for that?!” Grim asked, throwing his paws up in the air.

“Surely it’s a small price to pay for us rescuing the both of you from the inky depths of peril? After all, (Y/N) did ask for my spirit of benevolence.”

“Azul, please,” you asked quietly, “There’s a reason that the Scarabia students were after us.”

“I’m assuming it has something to do with Kalim’s magic carpet.”

“... Not really,” you answer, “We were being held hostage.”

Azul frowned, not liking the word one bit, “Explain, (Y/N).”

***

Azul muddled over what you had just told him, Grim piping up every so often to include details about the Scarabia situation to add more information as the cunning octopus thought deeply. As Azul thought, his eyes kept shifting to you, his thoughts going deeper into self-loathing; if you had remained in Octavinelle, none of this would have happened - you would’ve been safe, not having to walk to an oasis down and back again every morning before even eating, or sleeping in a closet under lock and key, or even doing battles with other students of magic when you couldn’t even cast a spell yourself.

His poor little angelfish…

Azul’s eyes widened, an idea appearing in his mind… a chance of a lifetime had just been given to him and he would be damned to let it go to waste.

A knowning smile spread across his features, “...It sounds like we should go to their aid.”

“Myra?! Did you hit your head or something when I wasn’t looking?!” Grim asked.

“Of course not!” Azul feigned harm, lifting his gloved hand to his chest, “I’ll have you know, my dear Grimmy, that the last incident forced me to reflect on my greed. I came out a changed man!”

“Oh, really?” You asked, folding your arms across your chest, “Care to explain?”

“I decided to contribute to the school as a whole, in honor of the Sea Witch’s spirit of benevolence,” Azul explained, his features turning coy, “It’s common knowledge that the housewardens are typically the ones their students go to in times of need or struggle - even the vice wardens are responsible for that as well. However, the power has to be shared equally between both the house and vice wardens - and Scarabia’s all over the place. It’s faced with a crisis now and my own classmate is in need of help - I can hardly ignore them in their time of need.”

You watched Jade and Floyd give each other knowing smiles before the twins looked at Azul, Jade asking, “What is the plan?”

“Here’s my idea,” Azul proposed, “The five of us head to Scarabia tomorrow - we’ll go under the guise that we are returning Kalim’s carpet as well as offering assistance with the dorm’s studies, this will ensure our stay especially since Octavinelle did overwhelmingly well on their finals before break…”

“No thanks to your study guides,” Grim huffed.

“Grim,” You warned.

Azul coughed and continued, “Once we’ve secured our spot within Scarabia, we’ll be able to do a bit of sneaking around to figure out what’s really going on.”

“And I’m assuming you have an idea on how to do so?” Jade asked.

“Let’s get to that point before we make any rash decisions,” Azul answered.

“I think that is a wonderful idea,” you agreed.

“(Y/N)?! Are you crazy?!” Grim asked, “We can’t go back there!”

“Grim, we really have no other options,” you turned to the feline demon, “We’ve tried contacting the Headmage, the other students can’t get into the school because the dark mirror is closed off, we have no way of contacting Riddle or Leona either… Azul’s plan is the best we have right now. Personally, I’d rather not go back, but with the way things are looking for Kalim…”

“You’re afraid there’s going to be another overblot, aren’t you, pearl?” Jade asked.

Azul blinked, the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. Yes, Kalim’s behavior was erratic, but it couldn’t be enough for the headwarden to go into an overblot… would it?

“I’m afraid so,” you admit, looking over at Azul, “I noticed that… when things got a little out of control, someone overblotted. I can’t bare to see another student go through that, much less a housewarden again. I’d like to try and prevent it from happening again, if possible.”

Azul nodded, “No worries, angelfish - I’ll make sure mine was the last one you saw.”

You give the housewarden a small smile of relief - thankful that he seemed to understand.

Azul remembered during his blot how the memories of his childhood came forward; the root cause of his pain and suffering that eventually became his thirst for power that festered and grew until it snapped - and you had seen it all. Whatever this strange magical gift was and how you received it, Azul was certain that it was your own form of unique magic - one that was so powerful that it may even make Malleus Draconia afraid if he knew about it; the power to look into one’s past and see everything that shaped them into who they eventually became was strong powerful magic indeed - but, of course, Azul didn’t want anyone else to know about it, considering he was victim number three to the overblot crisis that appeared to be happening this year.

Azul reaches out, offering his hand to you, “(Y/N), as headwarden of Octavinelle - allow myself and Jade and Floyd to help you and Grim solve the mystery of Kalim’s strange behavior. I’m certain the five of us plus Jamil will be able to ease Kalim’s troubles and bring back the peace Scarabia so desperately needs. Do we have a deal?”

You look at his hand, the memory of the first day you met him and the day you lost your legs both playing in your mind - but what choice did you have? You look at him and take his hand, squeezing it.

“Promise - this will make us even?”

“Indeed. I promise.”

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lazykim12 · 6 months

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Redemption Au! Eli Shane! (and I’m officially back 😭🙏)

. . .

Okay…so i usually disappear after a while after posting sometimes depending, but i kinda lost motivation with anything and been focused on other things in life and i guess i kinda lost interest in posting for a while…But im back! And determined to finish this Au storyline! If I can call it that- but! I’m planning on finishing Eli and some other info about the Au before I officially make a fanfic about it! Maybe…I’m not sure! But I will dive deeper into that as I’m thinking of maybe doing a comic instead! I thought I had made up my mind but apparently not😭 but after this I’m going to actually post fan art and other things!

Oh and I will think about doing FNAF or other fan arts for others so only time will tell I guess-

Anyways here’s Eli!

Eli is slightly different to his counterpart but there isn’t much! (Other than being a bit more stronger and better trained-)

He still is a bubbly, dorky Guy who loves puns..though sometimes twist takes that title and is more dorky than him- but Eli is still the same, but he’s doing a lot better in this Au! He’s a bit more of a thinker during his plans and because of Au Blakk’s training, he is even harder to defeat (depending on the enemy) he is very good in combat training due to Blakk and with a bit of the incredible’s master training, he’s well more experienced compared to his Cannon Counter part!

Still clumsy though sometimes, like his dad😭

LORE

Eli grew up in what he considered a happy life!

Well sort of..he had faded memories of slightly meeting blakk but they blurred since he was nearly about to become a toddler during that time. His relationship with his mom was…complicated, at times she was sweet and caring but as he grew up, he could feel her neglect towards him, and could often see her on the couch passed out from her drinking…So at age 5, he remembered his father divorcing his mom. He doesn’t remember much from that day, but he could remember his mother just not caring and leaving through the door..

He sometimes misses her..

And sometimes he doesn’t.

Growing up, he was raised pretty constantly by his father, even if there were some days he didn’t see Will, will always made sure to make up for that time, never wanting to be away for too long in his child’s life..he’d even put off weeks of being a Shane to spend time with Eli, so for most of Eli’s childhood, will Shane was never really absent or gone for too long!

And even if he was Eli always was patient.

Eli doesn’t remember much about his other family, the only other family he’s ever been around or interacted with is his uncle and aunts from his mom side, and his grandma, but never from his father’s side..expect uncle jimmo once or twice.

. . .

Already Will began to break 2 rules of the Shane code, and was beginning, in his family’s mind..Bringing shame into the family, which is also why Will cut communication with them a long time ago.

To Will’s family and the Shane code book, He broke one of the very first rules ever made, ‘never disrespect your legacy.’

A rule placed for the Shane’s of upcoming years to never not do your work, whatever you had to do was important and no distractions were allowed.

So will shane cutting off his days to spend time with his family, friends, putting the Shane work aside, broke the rule and made his uncle, mother and father and other relatives despise him more.

The second rule he broke was put at the last, and was always reminded of each Shane who would soon step up and take the Bandoleer and blaster for themselves.

‘Be loyal to your training’

By putting this rule, the Shane family for ages have always trained their children, whoever would take the place of the Shane role, would have to train hard, or everyday, and their children too.

It was a custom once the child turned 6, they would begin Shane children, it was a must, so they would be more conscious and remember things better.

. . .

Will easily broke this rule, and he didn’t feel bad, yet a bit guilty about it, but if given the choice again, he would gladly

Do it again.

Once Eli turned 6, he never trained him, he made sure he had a playful childhood, and this caused anger through the Shane family, as arguments went back and forth sometimes between some relatives.

Will Shane made SURE Eli focused on school, friends, playing, everything expect the Shane stuff, he didn’t want to make Eli feel like he needed to be successful or be proven worthy, he was only a child, he shouldn't have had to carry that burden..especially the one will carried so long ago when he was a child himself.

. . .

Eli had a fun childhood in his opinion, and the time he was told more about Slugterra finally was when he was 10 years old, since his time was nearing, but Will wanted to take a slow approach, he didn’t want to pressure Eli or make him think that ‘oh! I have to be a Shane!..I have to work had to prove myself to my dad and focus on only this..”

Will made sure to give Eli other ideas, so he didn’t think he had to be a Shane.

. . .

Eli felt comfortable enough with deciding to become a Shane, not due to over pressure, wanting to prove to his father, but because he wanted to help people.

He made the choice himself rather than being forced or the role being pushed upon him..

. . .

HOW HE IS LIKE-

Eli is bubbly and all about just like his cannon self, Loves puns, but he is more serious in a way due to blakk, not in a bad or cold way, just so he takes things with more consideration, is more quick and clever, and is a fair and well fighter.

He thinks and usually half his plans work really well due to blakk’s thinking passing onto him sometimes during training.

(He’s still his dad son though..😅)

Will slip up and be a bit clumsy at times, but he’s a pretty advanced slugslinger and fighter. Is more advanced in a way compared to his counter part. Still a dorky guy, Trixie makes sure he doesn’t do anything stupid still, while kord and Eli prank each other and go into full warzone …

He has a good heart, and it’s more motivated to grow with blakk’s training, and with his childhood, especially with the way Will raised him. Will always made sure to teach him a lot about compassion, how to give instead of take and to Procter everything in Slugterra, the slugs, the people, everyone, safe others from bad ones, still show remorse and kindness.

He cares deeply about blakk (sees him as an uncle/father figure sometimes)

He’s genuinely more brightful! Though after his dad is saved he feels a lot better, though some final battle happens kinda scars him a little but he is doing fine!

(He also got the mouth scar from some training from blakk, proud of his scar like twist, just a bit disappointed he didn’t get it from an actual slug slinging duel.💀)

Ahsuhsiahejwj SOO THATS ELI’S LORE FOR NOW- Sorry for the long disappearances, I’ll try better this month and April hopefully 🙏 alright see yall next time, peace!

#eli shane #bajoterra #slugterra #digital arwork #digital aritst #alternative universe #will shane #art #other characters #other characters mentioned #dr blakk #Small bits of trauma maybe.#he’s just a little silly #(:

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capriclonus · 4 months

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Hello! I'm Capriclonus (or Cap/Capri, as most people call me). I'm 26, go by she/he/they pronouns, and I'm from England. Engaged to a wonderful lady. Previously life-is-chasefield. I'll mostly reblog BG3 content (particularly Shadowheart and Lae'zel) but I do tend to reblog a lot of shitposts too.

Important tags: ask box, ao3 capriclonus (updates about my works), shadowheart, dark justiciar shadowheart, shadowzel, fic recs, favs, relating to my work (fan art etc).

I'm an on-again-off-again writer who simply follows the whims of the brainrot. It's a noble purpose. I wrote a lot of chasefield back in the day. At the moment, I'm writing BG3. In reality, I'm writing Shadowheart. She is my only blorbo, I am in love with her, and she has me hooked heart and soul.

I have a few ongoing works and two complete ones:

Shadowzel:

Give It Up For DJ Shadowheart! Complete. Modern AU, very explicit and very fluffy. Fuck buddies to lovers dynamic. Lae'zel meets disk jockey Shadowheart at her friend Wyll's club. She's kind of given up on life, and certainly on love, but Shadowheart makes her question just who she is, and what she wants.

No Shadow Without Light. Ongoing. Dark Fantasy Medieval AU, currently M for depictions of violence and body horror, moving to E come a later chapter. Enemies to Lovers. Shadowheart is the damsel in distress, the princess in the castle. She longs to escape the walls she's stuck behind, but she can't ever escape her personal guard [dog] Lae'zel.

For Pluck's Sake. Ongoing. Co-author @dustybones! Modern AU, E for smut. Wine Aunt Shadowheart / Soccer Coach Lae'zel! Jen takes her nephew, Pluck, to soccer practice. She doesn't care for soccer, but soon she finds there is something to like about it: the coach.

Shadowtav:

Just Enough to Hurt. Complete, but being updated with one-shots. Based post-game. Very explicit and a heavy dose of kink. Oath of Vengence Paladin Tav cannot resist the pull to see Dark Justiciar Shadowheart. She knows she should, and a part of her desperately wants to move on: to love and be loved. But she sees the light inside her dark mistress, and she cannot bring herself to leave. Lots of angst and smut. Designed around the idea that, although Shadowheart clearly does love Tav, she can never admit it.

Just Enough to Hurt: Oathbreaker. Ongoing. Explicit for smut, kink, and depictions of violence. Based after chapter 5 of JETH, this fic branches from JETH and asks - what would happen if Tav broke her Oath for DJ Shadowheart in a show of devotion and protection? And how far would each of them go, to prove their love for one another?

i want your love (and your pain). Ongoing, kind of on hiatus right now if I'm honest. Explicit for smut, kink, and depictions of violence. Shadowheart and Dark Urge!Tav desperately want to be better. This is the story of them finding redemption in each others arms. Based during the game to flesh out parts I think could have used a bit more love.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day! (I don't know how to close this ok I've not done one before)

#ao3 capriclonus #finally an about me section #if only i had more to say #but the brainrot has taken over #intro post #pinned post

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rockinlibrarian · 1 month

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Post-Umbrella Academy S4 Reaction Part One: Reacting More to the Fandom than the Show (only vaguely spoilery)

I would like to state for the record that I enjoyed The Umbrella Academy Season Four. I had plenty of issues— things that weren’t to my taste, abandoned or neglected plot or character threads, plot contrivances and wasted opportunities— and I wasn’t satisfied with the ending AT ALL (it COULD have worked if done…completely differently?)—but I enjoyed myself, minus the downer at the very end (and I mean VERY end, I was hoping for more post-credit redemption than we got, and that could’ve fixed it for me). It’s like that post I reblogged this morning goes— there’s enjoyment, there’s in-universe sense, and there’s art-of-storytelling sense, and they can all stand separately.

I’d love to chew over the stupid bits and gush over the brilliant bits, but it’s kind of hard right now, because so much of the reactions online are not, well, objectively balanced discussions? People’s issues erased any of the enjoyment, and now the whole thing is trash and I think we all agree this never happened.

I’m not writing this post to call anyone out for that. All our reactions are valid. It just feels like the angry voices drown out the other voices, and it’s made me uncomfortable, and that is ALSO a valid reaction to have, so I just want to put my voice out there, too.

The weird thing about me and The Umbrella Academy is that this is the first fandom where I’ve ever been more invested in fanworks of it than in the original show (and in the comics, not at all. Though I still want to see Viktor and Diego start a punk band). So I think that’s why I’m not Ragey. I wouldn’t say I COMPLETELY didn’t care what happened in the show, but I know that there’s a thousand other AUs of it out there ALREADY. So I honestly went into it almost as if reading a fic of it. In fics there are inevitably interpretations I don’t agree with, ships I don’t care for, things I would have done differently, but the writer loves the same characters as me so let’s see where they go.

And then I leave a comment about all the positives. “Oh, I love what you’ve done with Viktor!” (I won’t MENTION that I think you should have let him get back into music and spend a LOT more time with Five, because it’s not my story, and hey, you have done some LOVELY, thoughtful things with one of the characters that is dearest to me so let me tell you that in this comment!) “I’m REALLY enjoying your Allison-and-Klaus partnership, we don’t see enough of that but it’s so obvious in retrospect that they should be friends. They probably bonded over fashion as children when Viktor was like ‘Sorry Allison you know I REALLY DO want to be friends with you but I JUST DON’T GET IT’.” (I am thinking about how you never really resolved the huge emotional thread between Allison and Viktor in your last chapter, but that’s not what we’re talking about here). “This is admittedly not my ship, but you’ve successfully captured my own beliefs about HOW this character would behave in this situation” (shouting out to @stephsageek for that one, who did it, and did it well, before canon even thought to attempt to. ;) ) I could write lots more in my theoretical Comment on “Season Four of the Umbrella Academy” on AO3, but I don’t want to be too spoilery in this post and I’m just being metaphorical.

Honestly, I’m more upset now after a day of discourse than I was about the ending, and I think it’s because I’m afraid of people rage-abandoning the fandom. Because Legion, the show that started me on Seriously Writing Fanfic, was a mess after season 1. I personally didn’t enjoy MOST of season 2, but I DID enjoy season 3 even though so much of it made no sense, and I can rant about it (Legion did a variation on the same terrible ending as TUA, actually! I have to say that the emotional beats were handled better, but the plot itself was way way stupider). But I didn’t start writing fic until after the dreaded (but not without redeeming qualities) season 2, when quite a lot of people had given up on the show. I’ve written fix-its, mostly ones that embellish on the canon of the later seasons, fixing it without actually throwing it away. I’ve been playing in the whole sandbox for six years now, and “Magic Man of Oz” uses like every grain of sand in it, and it’s my favorite fic I’ve ever written, and I am genuinely sad about all the people who rage-quit that show so will never read it. I am mostly sad that the person who got me on AO3 to begin with abandoned the Legion fandom the moment they finished their epic How Season Two Should Have Ended fic (or before— pretty sure the last few chapters were written with gritted teeth determination to just be Done with the whole thing) and so THEY never read “Magic Man of Oz.” And they were my biggest cheerleader when I started posting fanfic! Honestly, is this whole paragraph just me freaking out about TUA fandom just because not enough people read a fic of mine from a different fandom that was fairly cult to begin with? It might be. Sorry. I apparently have issues?

(That first sentence is really the thesis statement of this post now. The moment I wrote it, I reread it and said, "Oh. THAT'S what's happening with me, isn't it?" My 11th grade research writing teacher is yelling at me in my head to move the dang thesis statement to earlier in this essay, but too bad, this is Tumblr).

I can’t help comparing Legion and TUA, not least because the latter only got bumped up my watch list by someone describing it as “Legion-Lite”— and it really is, in so many ways! But they’re also my top two most-written-for fandoms, and I’ve been toying with a crossover or two— which I feel even more compelled to write now, because it’s post-canon for both shows (even though both shows claim there IS no post-canon— I have found the way!) And it honestly helped ME emotionally to accept the end of TUA when I could immediately say, “OH, well actually, that flows right INTO how I was already going to start working-title A Legion of Umbrellas!” I originally started this paragraph in parenthesis because it seemed like an aside, but it’s really not, because all I’m saying is fanfic flows eternal! and so forth.

So, hi, out there. Just letting out my feelings and hoping someone out there feels the same way (maybe not about Legion— I keep TRYING, but can’t find any takers), and I may still write a more detailed and spoilery reaction post to the show ITSELF, but I had to get this off my chest first.

#the umbrella academy #fandom #fandom culture #me feeling weird in virtual public

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kamigui · 1 year

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A fanfic idea I'd like to dedicate to you

I wanted to share this idea I have with you because I saw that beautiful animation you made of your OC Rubee and Wally with that scene of the Hunt vs Hunted AU that nonomives made and the other AUs incorporated in it. I'm actually currently writing a fanfic inspired by that AU with plans to dedicate it to nonomives (with their permission), and I just absolutely live for the angst and redemption arcs. Your incredible art really gave me the inspiration I needed to start working on it.

I'm actually in my lovers-turned-enemies trope right now, and my mind began racing with just this concept of (what if) Rubee actually surviving the Hunt vs Hunted scenario and was accidentally turned, but somehow the effect was so diluted it didn't necessarily destroy her mind and make her feral, but instead caused her to slowly start losing her mind, where any memories of Wally were tampered with or discarded and whatever horrors she might have witnessed were misplaced onto Wally?

(Because in reality, he'd never actually hurt her, she just convinced herself he did because there's so many pieces missing in her brain she had to just fill them in herself. And then there's the assumption Wally accidentally committed genocide as a response to his grief of losing Rubee, therefore, she's more convinced that he just has to be evil. She obviously doesn't know the true reason, only knowing that he had harmed a lot of people) (I'm thinking this affliction could potentially turn her immortal, or at least, very difficult to kill and inhumanely strong; but she could probably still get hurt).

Because of this, any positive feelings for him were replaced with disgust and hatred, where she felt her only response is to pretty much destroy him so he didn't hurt anyone else. But, it's conflicting because deep inside her soul she's hesitant, scared, and longing for the security/safety he provided her in the past, before she lost her memories /and before he thought she was dead/.

Anyway, there was a scene playing in my mind where she managed to get to him, like, actions set in motion just ready to pierce his heart. And Wally's just looking up at her, not really fighting back, but holding her off, eyes just pitiful and sad and desperate; because "How is she alive-?".

He's in disbelief, emotions torn between sadness, anger, and overwhelming love. And she's trying to kill him, not realizing that she's crying and struggling to actually finish him off. Because, yes, she has to kill him so no one suffers like she did--but also, no, because that part of her that 'died' that night still clings to hope and love.

I think Wally would immediately know that she's affected by his blood, since according to nonomives, people who are closer to Wally's blood go insane and feral, depending on the level of potency the person was dosed with. I really like this concept, because that could potentially lead to the rarest opportunity where someone hasn't been completely overcome by his affliction. Maybe Rubee was just extremely strong willed in mind and spirit, so her body (could have) managed to refrain from completely turning into a vampire zombie? That tiny, sliver of hope motivates Wally to figure out some sort of 'cure' for Rubee, but we have no idea what the implications of that would do.

(Could she die due to having lived so long and just turn into dust? Would she end up suffering from the pain and physical damage she's received all these years, finally catching up to her? Is there the chance she'll just return back to him? We don't really know. Too many endings, no solid answers.)

//Anyway, feel free to just yeet this in the trash if you want. Ha ha ha, I'm just dumb and rambling... I don't want to interject or impede on your work, or self-insert your OC into anything. I'd hate to misinterpret the characters. But I just really wanted to share this idea and hope you'd at least enjoy it. If you do approve and gave me permission to pursue this, I would be more than happy to dedicate a fanfiction on the topic because I just think it's *chefs kiss*

//I supposed, this is also my way of asking if it's alright with you for me to pursue this idea with your OC?

#submission

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kakisocks · 2 years

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A master list of Kylux fanfics

Here is a list compiled straight from my bookmarks on ao3 of all fanfics that include kylo ren, hux, and a little bit of Kylo x Ren as well. This list also has redemption fics that focus more on Han and Ben having healing time

(I’ve tried to say what each one is kind of about and the completion status)

Fluff

All The Way To Your Door (Kylux, Modern AU, Friends to Lovers, Complete)

“Six months ago, Armitage Hux fabricated a fiancé, never expecting to have to drag him to a funeral in Georgia, pretending to be something they weren't. The problem was, Ben Solo was everything Hux had ever wanted.

Ben Solo had hidden his love for his roommate for years, thinking that someone as perfect as Hux would never want a broken soldier like him. But he was wrong.

Sometimes you have to tell a lie to find the truth.“

How To Be Human: A Guide For Sentient Beings (Kylux, Complete)

“ Kylo Ren has spent at least half his life training to be a perfect weapon of the Dark Side. It hasn’t left a lot of time for developing social skills. Only once he’s aboard the Finalizer, forced to work with the First Order, and General Hux, does Kylo begin to see the importance of his social interactions. Fortunately, the Finalizer’s data library has a collection of self-help manuals on file. Kylo Ren is a quick learner, and General Hux makes for the perfect case study. [illustration for chapter 6 provided by kylostahp] “

I Know You’re Out There (Kylux, Complete)

“Nine-year-old Ben Organa-Solo and fourteen-year-old Armitage Hux begin writing letters to each other as part of a correspondence program between the children of the New Republic and the remains of the Empire. It starts with introductions and a list of their favorite things, then later Hux unknowingly encourages Ben to step onto the path that will make him one of the commanders of the First Order, and ends with Hux ending it before he could realize who Ben has become.

Even so many years later, Kylo still thinks about it sometimes.“

Allemande (Kylux, Complete)

“ Hux has come to the United States to study concert piano under one of the top instructors in the country, leaving his friends and native England behind. In his new school, he encounters Ben Solo, who lost his hearing as a child. For Hux, living without music seems unbearable, but Ben shows him that there’s goodness, too, in silence. “

Dr.Sexy (WORKING TITE) (Kylux, Complete)

“There's a lot of things in the world Armitage would rather do than take Millicent to the vet. Change the oil in his car for example. Or perform surgery on a very much awake hyena. So he limits the visits to the absolute bare minimum. Not only because Millicent hates going, but also because he feels sorry for the poor staff who have to handle Millicent in her most feral form.

But then his luck runs out and he has to take her to the surgery. Or has it? Because as it turns out a new vet is in town and that vet is not only really good with cats but also quite handsome and charming. Neither Millicent nor Armitage ever stood a chance against Dr. Kylo Organa.“

boys on the radio (Kylux, Teenage AU, Modern, NOT Complete)

“The new kid is terrible.

Hux doesn’t even know when he started here, it’s like halfway through the semester and suddenly there is this tall glowering goth kid with safety pins through the lowest set of his ear piercings and regrettable lipstick and the world’s loudest fucking music, it’s not even in English half the time, apparently making his permanent home in the metal shop. Hux wouldn’t care if he didn’t have to go through the metal shop on his way to and from the darkroom, or if the fucking darkroom itself had any soundproofing to match the velvet blackness of its lightproof door and walls.

Several weeks into the school year, eleventh-grader Hux's relatively peaceful independent-study art elective turns into an exercise in infuriation with the advent of Kylo "It's My Name, Okay" Ren and his inability to shut the fuck up. It turns out that Ren is okay with a torch, but abysmal at pretty much everything else -- except, well. Sometimes he makes up for it with Pop-Tarts.

Now with illustrations by kromitar and raffe!“

The Destroyer (kylux, whump but only a little, Complete)

“The Hound of the Emperor has failed him. He prostrates himself before his ruler and awaits his punishment. Will it be imprisonment? Torture? Death?Kylo Ren welcomes it all in the face of his failure. But Emperor Hux has something very different in mind.“

Scherzo (kylux, teenage AU, complete)

“Five years ago, Armitage Hux met a boy named Ben Solo at Endor Cross High School. Ben changed Hux’s life irrevocably, teaching him a whole new way of communicating and loving him deeply. Now, Hux is preparing for his final recital at Juilliard and the nerves are getting to him. He and Ben have grown together, though not without a relationship’s up and downs. As a phase of their life ends and they begin anew, their commitment resolidifies.

A follow-up vignette to Allemande.”

Curve (Kylux, complete)

“An aftercare scene."Hux is always amazed at how much Kylo can take.And how much Hux wants to give him."“

Home Is Where The Heart Is (kylux, teenage AU, smut is involved, complete)

“ Ben joins a rather unexpected family when he moves into his new foster home with Han and Leia Solo. “

Butt Actually I Love You (Kylux, Modern AU, complete)

“ When Ben ends up in the hospital for a more serious reason he realises a few things about Hux. “

Jingle Bells (Kylux, Crack, more funny than fluff, complete)

“ When Hux needs a date to annoy his father Phasma comes through with her near mythical gym buddy Kylo Ren, the perfect man for the job. “

echo in the halls (Kylux, Modern AU, complete)

“Ben is in the hospital; Hux has a strange dream at his bedside.

For Kylux Positivity Week 2.0, Day 8: Favorite Trope“

What We’re Made Of (kylux, complete)

“On the morning of your 5th birthday, you'll wake up with a new toy beside you, one that is made in the image of your destined soulmate. Young Ben has a little wooden General with orange hair and a woolly greatcoat that matches his little cap, whilst young Armitage has a soft plush of a Jedi, one with soft dark hair and two brown buttons for eyes.The two boys are happy with their new toys. Their families, however, are not. It shapes them.

(a Kylux Mini Bang project with amazing art created by @5ovspades)“

Home Remedy (kylux, Modern AU)

“ Ben learns Hux is sick, Hux learns to let his boyfriend help him, Rey learns a bit more about Techie, and Techie learns what home feels like. “

The Meaning Of Courage (ben solo and Han solo good parenting, complete)

“ In a universe where Snoke is driven out of Ben's mind during Ben's childhood, the trauma of the experience lands him in the hospital, where he gains insight from a friendly nurse. “

Never Tell Me the Odds (kylux, father son healing, complete)

“He might have given his son brain damage, but at least he was bringing him home to Leia.

Kylux Avent 2020: Day 13: The Past“

First Snow Fall (kylux, happiness, complete)

“ The Emperor watches the snow fall and muses on the differences between then on Starkiller Base and now in the capital. “

A Parsec in His Jackboots (kylux, complete)

“ When Hux is injured in a skirmish and rendered unable to speak, Kylo has to take over command of the Finalizer. He thought that Hux was good for little, but he discovers that the ship wouldn’t run without him. For two weeks, Kylo is the sole commander and realizes that maybe there’s more to Hux than just a nice uniform. “

The Way To A Man’s Heart (kylux, complete)

“ Armitage Hux learned by experience that you don’t feed strays because then they’ll follow you home and you’ll be stuck with them forever. At least Millicent is cute… no one told him that feeding his co-commander would have a similar outcome. “

Grounding (kylux, complete)

“ Kylo Ren suffers a psychotic breakdown, and Hux helps bring him back to himself safely with a lot of patience and tenderness. “

Lilies and Lace (kylux, complete, non-binary kylo, sexy undertones)

“ A young Colonel Hux takes a stroll through the Royal Gardens of Naboo for some solitude after a long day of negotiations with politicians. His appreciation of the flowers is interrupted by another politician who is just as beautiful as the garden. “

Gifts (kylux, complete)

““I’m sure you’ll like it,” Kylo says, surprisingly taciturn. “Did you know, that in the New Republic, today is a holiday?”

“Is that right?” Hux asks, willing to indulge him. Kylo truly brings out the more indulgent side of him, in more ways than one.

“Yes. It’s for lovers,” Kylo explains. “They exchange gifts and promises with one another.”

It sounds exactly like something they would celebrate in the New Republic. Once, he would have detested it, but now he can see the appeal. Not that he would ever admit as much out loud.

After a moment, Kylo continues, gesturing to the bag next to him. “So, I got you a gift.”-In other words, a Valentines Day canon-verse fic about our two favourite evil space husbands.“

The Storm Is Passing (kylux, complete)

“ A very brief glimpse about 6 months on into the "relationship" of Governer Armitage Hux of Arkanis and his one pleasure slave, Ren. “

Father of Mine (kylux, complete, teenage AU)

“All Han ever wanted to do was to come home from work, store away his worn-out boots in their reserved cubby hole Leia demanded he put them away in before busying himself with whatever minuscule tasks his precious but demanding wife had for him. He did not want to deal with Brendol Hux.

He should've known things wouldn't go according to plan.“

Against All Odds (kylux, complete)

“Welcome to Solo & Solo Smuggling Enterprises featuring a reluctant Hux.

Kylux Advent 2020: Day 17: New Beginnings“

Don’t Go (kylux, agnsty ish)

“Kiss #3: Goodbye.

Saying goodbye is never easy.“

Predator and prey (kylux, complete)

““You broke into the palace. You got into my chamber. You have me at gunpoint. What now, Armitage?”

Day 2: Canon Divergence“

Smut

Against the World (Teenager AU, Complete, Kylux, Bottom Kylo)

“"His association – for lack of a better word – with Hux had started when the ginger nerd found him crying in the bathroom one day, during class hours, and had just watched him making a mess of himself without saying anything."

- Or how the two most despised boys in school develop a deep friendship over their hatred of humanity and planning petty revenge against their bullies.”

Kylo / Male / Human (Naboo) (Kylux, Bottom Kylo, Complete)

“Kylo is a mail-order groom, trained to be very submissive and do whatever he’s told. He has been groomed to offer himself sexually to anyone that appear displeased with him. Hux knows it’s wrong but takes full advantage of this.Inspired by a Kylux Hard Kinks prompt that went something like the above. Link lost to time.Please heed all warnings.“

Knot Finished (Hux Ain’t Human really, Kylux, Bottom Kylo, Complete)

“ Kylo learns a bit more about Arkanis physiology through practical demonstrations. “

Knot Fully Human (Bottom Kylo, Kylux, Hux has an alien dick, Complete)

“Broke: "Hux is a xenophobe"

Woke: "With a fully Arkanis mother, Hux is a half-human hybrid and his xenophobia is a deeply ingrained self-hatred that comes from his abusive father"

Bespoke: "See above, AND Hux has an alien dick"

And Kylo Ren had no idea going in.“

Five Times General Hux Said I Love You and the One Time Kylo Ren Did (Kylux, NOT Complete)

“ General Hux is a cold hearted bastard but despite his best efforts he can't help falling in love with the Force user. “

His Royal Highness (Kylux, Complete, Bottom Kylo)

“Day 1 Prompt #2 - Kylo Amidala

Kylo Amidala needs help from Supreme Leader Armitage Hux.“

With Love In His Heart (Kylux, Bottom Kylo, Rough BLow Job, Vomit warning, complete)

“Hux fucks Kylo's throat until Kylo throws up. Hux doesn't stop. Kylo lets him keep going.(An anonymous serenade to Kylux, the trashiest ship there ever was.)“

Drifitng Haze (Kylux, Bottom Kylo, Complete)

“Heat curls low in Hux's belly, deepening when he turns his head to see Kylo peering up at him from beneath his lashes, eyes warm and unguarded. Sleep softens Kylo, makes him more open and vulnerable in a way that he never allows once he's up and about. It's a secret only the morning hours and Hux are privy to, a fact that causes something possessive to flare inside him. Only he can see this. Only he can have Kylo like this.

Written for this kinkmeme prompt: "Hux loves fucking Kylo when he's sleepy because he's so pliant and submissive when he can hardly keep his eyes open."“

Measures (Kylux, Modern AU, Bottom Kylo, Complete)

““Snoke lets his grad assistants conduct rehearsals?” Kylo arches an eyebrow.“Has to. It’s a departmental thing.” Finn shrugs. When the grad student taps the baton on the edge of the stand, Finn rolls his eyes and hisses, “This guy’s a real asshole, though.”Kylo’s gaze falls back onto the redhead. He’s tall, probably only an inch or two shorter than Kylo, with a tight mouth and posture so rigid that it makes Kylo snort. Finn goes pin-stiff on his stool as the assistant’s eyes zero in on the bass section.

Kink and Classical Music AU for the Kylux Big Bang 2016, illustrated by http://milkcraving.tumblr.com :3″

All My Sense Are On Fire (Kylux, Bottom Kylo, Complete)

“ Classic Kylux! Kylo and Hux hate each other but they can't be apart. Kylo Ren is a virgin (but not by the end!). “

The Flore And The Crow (Kylux, Complete, Non-explicit smut)

“ General Armitage Hux is invited to a Naboo party with the promise of a private audience with Kylo Amidala. Instead, he’s pulled away by an intriguing young man named Ben. Ben is clever and almost as sharp as Hux, but where’s the prince? “

Acquiesces To Disorder (Kylux, Bottom Kylo, Hogwarts AU, Professor/Student relationship, complete)

“ Ben knew his seventh year a Hogwarts wasn't going to be a walk in the park, but his stupid crush on his Potions Professor really doesn't have the right to make it all the worse. He tries to keep his head down, and avoid comparisons to his mother, the Minister for Magic, and his father, the renowned criminal. All he wants is to hang out with his best friend Poe, learn about cool creatures, pass his classes, try not to make an idiot of himself in front of Professor Hux and get through the year. Life has other plans. “

Princess (Kylux, Complete)

“ Hux smokes, Ren chokes. “

Wax On,Wax Off (Kylux, Complete)

“The second strip is no better and if he’s not mistaken there's a smug little smile on Hux’s face while he uses one of the wooden sticks to scoop up more of the green wax. He never should have agreed to this. Surprisingly enough it gets worse the closer Hux gets to his junk, anticipation rising in his gut when the warm wax goes up the side of his cock. This time he can’t keep the little whimper to himself, ears turning red when his cock gives an interested twitch at the treatment.

Oh no.“

Paul Sevier/Monty Schafer (Kylux Adjacent, Series of Oneshots)

Breath In, Enjoy The Ride (Kylo Ren x Knight of Ren, Orgy, Complete)

“ Exhausted Supreme Leader Kylo Ren returns to his quarters. His knights comfort him. “

Take On The Storm (Kylo Ren x Knights Of Ren, Omega Kylo Ren, complete)

“After Luke tries to kill him, Ben Solo flees the temple with six other padawans. When Ben panics and loses control of his powers during a disastrous first heat, his fellow padawans have to find a way to help him quickly, before he and they are torn apart.

I can't find the original prompt, but I'm pretty sure it came from something written by @solohux on tumblr.“

Put In Work (Kylo Ren x Knights Of Ren, Complete)

“Kylo ends up in a stringy situation with the Knights of Ren. Who knew what kind of work they had in mind when they let him join?“

Awareness Spectrum Narcotic (Kylux, Bottom kylo, Complete, Night Club setting)

“ “That’s it,” Hux cooed, rolling his hips up until Kylo was sitting flush, his dress a puddle at his waist as Hux’s hands slipped back around his body. “You’re the whore, darling—you know what to do.” “

Unskilled & Unaware (kylux, Complete)

“ The new Supreme Leader tries therapy. “

Know Your Shadow (Kylo Ren x Ren, Complete, bottom kylo)

“ After Ren allows him to travel with them, Ben follows the Knights of Ren back to their ship. While they travel, a conversation about what it really means to be a Knight of Ren leads to something much more. “

Public Indecency (Kylo Ren x Ren, Complete, bottom kylo)

“ Having just been deflowered by Ren, Ben follows the Knights of Ren to a cantina, where he intends to learn about his second new indulgence: drinking. When they get there, Ren puts Ben in his lap, an embarrassing but seemingly innocuous decision until Ben learns just how Ren intends to amuse himself while they wait for their drinks. Ben never expected he'd be doing something like this in the open at a cantina, but he can't refuse with how much of a thrill it is. “

Devour (Kylux, Omega Kylo, rape/non-con a little between kylo and snoke, Complete)

“ Kylo's heat suppressant medication gets destroyed on Starkiller Base. He goes into heat on board the Finalizer. “

Meant To Fall (kylux, NOT complete, Omega Kylo)

“ Omega Jedi Ben Solo finds himself struggling with his destiny when he meets Alpha Lieutenant Armitage Hux. “

Sheep Shit and Other Things (Kylux, Complete, bottom Kylo)

“ “Leave the kid alone, Sue. Can’t you see he’s at sea?” Ben isn’t sure if he should be grateful for the stranger diverting the woman’s attention or offended at the implication that he’s stupid. He knows damn well what she wants out of him, thank you very much, and he’s about to say just that when he sees the owner of that Irish lilt and the words die in his throat. “

Purple Kimono (Kylux, Omega Kylo, Complete)

“ Grand Marshal Hux decides to do a surprise audit on one of his ships bound for a mission after a small argument with his Omega. Kylo goes into heat shortly after Hux leaves their quarters and decides to ride out his heat alone, pleasuring himself on Hux's couch and wearing his favorite purple robe. At the last minute, Hux decides not to do the mission and comes home to discover Kylo went into heat a day early. Kylo agrees to let his Alpha help him with his heat after Hux apologizes, but that doesn't stop him from giving Hux an attitude. Sex ensues. “

Share The Load (Kylux, Complete, Alien Dick Hux, Trans FTM Kylo, bottom Kylo)

“ Hux runs into Kylo while dealing with his unique Arkanan biology- and Kylo is dealing with some self confidence issues. It's a match tailor made for the both of them. “

Taking Advantage (Kylux, Bottom Kylo, complete)

“ When Hux had gotten the brief that he’d have to extract his unfortunate counterpart from a bar on Tatooine, the last thing he’d expected to find when he got there was that Ren had somehow managed to get himself enslaved by a Hutt. “

Knot Today Satan (Kylux, Werewolf Hux, bottom Kylo)

“In hindsight, he should have made the connection when he had run into a fucking werewolf on the one day he was running about ten minutes early.

When he saw it, them, he’d been frozen to the spot. The huge creature had been lurking at the edge of the woods across the road, tall, gangly, and partially covered in rusty fur.

One part of him, the rational part, is screaming at him to run and save his own ass before the fucking cryptid across the road decides to have him for breakfast. Another part of him, the part that may or may not be a furry, is telling him to bare his ass and run over. And one more little part, a very confused and questionably sane part, is reciting a lesson on basic magnetism he had in high school. But before he can make a choice the werewolf blinks their reflective eyes at him once and vanishes back into the trees.What the fuck just happened?

Or: The one where Kylo gets railed by a werewolf in the woods.“

Cops And Robbers (Kylux, Bottom kylo, complete)

“ Ben likes his job, is proud of it, proud of carrying an FBI badge in his pocket and the cases he’s had a hand in solving. He’s good at his job. Or, he was until a string of robberies spanning the US landed in his lap, everything from elaborate jewelry heists to residential burglaries all tied back to one person. One person so elusive and infuriatingly untraceable that Ben might just be stuck on this case until one of them dies. “

Make A Mess Of You (Kylux, Bottom kylo, complete)

“Hux gets Ren a new toy. It's familiar in a surprising way.

(For KMNU's Horn-a-thon. Prompt was "Rubber")“

Wookie Wash (Kylux, bottom kylo, complete)

“There had been posters, propaganda on the minuscule level. Nobody had been bold enough to do anything directly, but Hux could tell the decision had not been taken well by his men. That was when he had prompted the head of morale on base to do something about the insurrection, and she had told him she would fix it. Hoping he had finally washed his hands of the matter, Hux had gone back about his day as normal. That had been three days ago, before all the racket.The issue with the campaign was that the model who had been shown in the ad was... Incredibly attractive, to say the least, and apparently the morale officer said that that man was none other than Kylo Ren. Now, nobody had ever seen his face before, but everyone always assumed he was ugly. Hux loathed drama and gossip of all kinds, it distracted his officers from their important duties... But even he couldn't get over the ridiculousness of the new advertisement. There was no way in the galaxy that such an attractive man could be under that mask, and Hux wanted to get to the bottom of it.“

Shadow of Your Heart (Kylux, NOT complete, omega kylo)

“After the fall of the empire Luke Skywalker fought a rising evil in the outer rim, a villain named Snoke who tormented his young nephew. With Snoke defeated, Leia sent her son to be trained as part of the new order of jedi, in the hopes that it would keep him safe.Now 16 years later, Ben is an omega and caught between his desire for freedom from the simple and sheltered jedi life, and his mother and uncle's desire to shelter him after the attack in his childhood. Assuming the name Kylo Ren to hide his identity, Kylo is finally set free from Luke's teaching to serve as a jedi aide to his mother in the senate. It is meant to be a safe mission, despite the fact that it includes the integration of a radical fringe group into the New Republic. But the leader of the First Order, a slender alpha, has other goals besides political advantage.“

Pink Cadillac (Kylux adjacent, bottom Clyde, complete)

“ Clyde has never met Stensland, he’s never even seen a picture of him. This should raise red flags, but Stensland has never seen him either, and neither of them have asked for a picture. Clyde likes the anonymity of it, that way it’s easier to live the fantasy because if a picture of him were to ever make its way onto their chat it would be obvious that he’s nowhere near as small as he wants to be. “

Butt It’s Stuck (Kylux, Bottom Kylo, complete)

“ Ben gets high and makes a dumb decision, Dr. Hux has to fix it for him, god forbid his boyfriend be normal for once. “

Gingersnap (Kylux, Drag Queen Kylo, Bottom kylo, complete, Modern AU)

“ When he first moved here drag queens were something he’d only seen on tv and people he mostly perceived to be pretty little twinks with a lisp or aging chain smokers with clown makeup. Nowhere in his expectations did he factor in a drag queen like Kylo Amidala, a queen so jacked she looks like she bench presses the whole swim team before breakfast. “

What We Did For Love (Kylux, Omega Kylo, complete)

“ They were both born wrong but that’s what made them perfect for each other. Hux is a slim Alpha and Kylo is a bulky Omega. Neither thought they would ever find a mate, but after the destruction of Starkiller, Kylo goes into heat and Hux finds he can’t resist him. “

90 Day Fiancé (Kylux, complete)

““Maybe that means you’ll be more inclined to choose me,” Hux hints, glancing over at a drone buzzing by with a sneaky look on his face. Perfect, he’ll create as much support for himself with the public as possible.

"What I choose doesn’t matter,” he croons, making it sound as romantic as he possibly can to hide the true meaning of the words.

"I know, I'm just trying to make the public like me," Hux reaches out to stroke Kylo's cheek as he smiles, "It doesn't matter what I want now, either. If the people want us, is Snoke going to tell all his trade partners no?"”

He will find a way.” No doubt about it. Snoke has his fingers in every branch of government, spies and agents everywhere.

"We'll see," Hux wants so badly to kiss those beautiful, plush lips stained with lipstick and berry juice. He can only imagine how sweet Kylo tastes as he crosses his legs, not wanting the evidence of his arousal to get leaked to the entire net, "I would not lose faith so quickly. If I want something...Well, I'll do anything to get it."“

In Your Debt (Kylux, complete, omega kylo)

“ Things work a little different in the Order then they do in the Resistance. “

Floss Me (Kylux, Modern AU, complete)

“ Hux, Kylo's boyfriend, is aghast to find out how rarely Kylo flosses (i.e. never) and he can't take it anymore, so he decides to take matters into his own hands. Kylo's mind, however, takes things in a different direction, and it turns out both of them enjoy the rather unexpected results. “

Starting From The Top (kylux, complete, bottom kylo)

“ when Hux finally gets Kylo Ren into his bed, he finds out that Ren is much more insecure than he thought. Well. He'd have to fix that. “

Into The Brighter Night (kylux, bottom kylo, complete)

“During a diplomatic summit between the First Order, the New Republic, and the New Jedi, Ben Solo encounters Lieutenant Armitage Hux and is immediately taken. Though he doesn't have a plan, he sneaks out to Hux's tent that night and catches him in a private moment.

Six nights Ben Solo warmed Hux's bed.“

The Little Dumbass (kylux, mermaid AU, complete, bottom kylo)

“ Happy in his own little bubble Kylo spends his days collecting the pretty things the humans drop in the water and exploring his favourite places along the coast, until he meets the most beautiful merman he's ever seen. Only things aren't always what they seem. This Kylo learns the hard way. “

Bespoken: Satin and Lace (kylux, complete)

“After a memorable first fitting, it's time for Hux to deliver the goods. The sequel to the Tailor!Hux AU Bespoke.

[excerpt]: "You look--incredible." Hux tried to ignore that fact that the words seemed to strangle in his throat. "Extraordinary, in fact.""'I don't think that there's anything worse than being ordinary,'" Ren quipped. He took a step forward, his eyes darkening. "To be otherwise is to be unforgettable."

Another step. Hux could feel the competing coolness of the silk with the heat of Ren's skin. He could give into both, if he leaned in just a little bit more.”

Bespoke (kylux, complete)

“ long and busy week leaves Hux exhausted and eager to close up shop. But when a tall and handsome stranger walks in and requests a uniquely custom-made item, how can he refuse?

[excerpt]: "What are you interested in, then?"

Ren strode over to inspect a jacket that decorated one of the dress forms. It was made of a dove grey vicuña wool and was exquisitely cut, with perfectly pitched sleeves. He turned over the cuff, thumbing the cerise silk lining which lay hidden underneath. There was something proprietorial about the way he handled the smooth fabric--the silken material flowing over his thick fingers like the juices of cooked cherries staining his skin--that felt uncomfortably familiar.

Hux swallowed, conscious of the tightness which reappeared in his throat."

This," Ren said softly. His eyes flashed dangerously, pinpoint amber lasers trained on green, the delicate and lustrous sendal firmly ensconced in his hand. "I want you to make me something out of this."“

Free Use (Kylo Ren x Knights of Ren, bottom kylo)

“ A day in the life of Ben Solo - free use cumslut of the Knights of Ren. “

Honeycomb (kylux, complete)

““I know a guy.” Poe always knew a guy. He knew a lot of guys. He had a guy for everything.

“A guy,” Ben replied.

“Yep.”

“Who can do what?”

“Oh, you know, this and that. Got a lot of money, a little time. You know how it goes.”

Ben was beginning to feel like maybe he was the stoned one. “I really don’t.”

Poe leaned forward on his elbows, charming crooked grin lighting up his handsome features, the kind of smile that won over everybody who crossed his path. “You give him a little time, he’ll give you a little money.”“

Making Puppies (kylux, omega kylo, complete)

“ Supreme Leader Kylo wants to give his Enforcer, his Grand Marshal, his beloved Hound a family, so they get to work on starting one. “

Wicked Game (kylux, complete)

“Ben Solo is gone. He died along with all the others at Luke Skywalker’s academy. From his ashes rose Kylo Ren, the apprentice to the Sith Lord Snoke. His transition to the dark side is nearly complete, but Kylo takes a moment to rid himself of one final, if tenuous, connection he has to the Jedi ways.

It’s time to abandon his celibacy.

(Kylux Positivity Week, the 3rd, Day 5: First Time)“

For His Eyes Only (kylux, complete)

“Day Two: Put it on Kylo

The prompt says it all really. Hux has something special for Kylo.“

Cover Me In You (kylux, complete)

“ Newly made governor of his Arkanian province, Armitage Hux sets out to buy a pleasure slave for his household. He finds exactly what he wants in an imposing man of impressive size—where it counts—called Ren. “

Fire and Moonlight (kylux, complete)

“❄ #KyluxAdvent, Day 4: Fireplace ❄

On a blustery winter night on Arkanis: a secret meeting between two lovers at a remote apartment. It's the only place Kylo Amidala and Chancellor Hux can be together, without having to hide their desire for one another.“

Conquer and Devour (Kylo Ren x Ren, complete)

“ “The Ren’s judgement is impartial, it doesn’t care if you live or die. It will burn the Light out of you, one way or another. All you have to do is convince it that you deserve to live.” “

When Christmas Comes (kylux, alpha kylo, bottom kylo)

“"Kylo bit his lip as he tried not to show Hux how much that simple touch was already affecting him. Because an Alpha shouldn’t want this. An Alpha should never crave for his sweet albeit feisty Omega to fuck him into submission like this, to make him beg for more with each delicious thrust."

Or the one where Alpha Kylo bottoms for his lovely Omega.“

This Is The Future The Republic Wants (kylux, complete)

“"Why would a First Order officer let a Jedi padawan undress him?”“You tell me,” says Ben. He flicks open another of Hux’s buttons. “I can’t think of one reason.” Hux pushes his chest forward, offering himself for Ben to touch. “The First Order opposes everything the New Republic stands for.”-Major Hux, assigned to Hosnian Prime to assassinate a New Republic politician, gets lost at a Pride parade. His sterile, self-righteous First Order upbringing did not prepare him for the debauchery he encounters. Hux runs into trouble, but when all seems lost, a handsome padawan appears with solutions to several of Hux’s problems.“

Put Your Money On Me (kylux, complete)

“Broke college students Ben Solo and Poe Dameron decide to try their luck in a new, fancy club where neither of them belong. When Ben is propositioned by a rich businessman, he agrees to spend one night with Armitage Hux in exchange for a solution to all their mounting debt.

Will Ben take the money and run back to the safety that is his not so boyfriend Poe? Or is Armitage Hux the one person who can give him everything he’s ever craved?“

Devotion and Reverence (kylux, omega kylo, complete)

“Senator Kylo Amidala is openly omega, and just as openly unreachable. They have high standards for who they might mate with, and their high position has helped keep those standards aloft. But when an Emperor willingly goes to his knees for them, they might be swayed.Emperor Armitage Hux has trained for years to be stoic, patient, and guarded. His self restraint is next to none. So it quakes him to his core that not only does he want to do away with those restraints, he willingly kneels for an untouchable, unreachable Senator.“

a matter of time (kylux, complete)

“Armitage Hux, Dark Side adept and Supreme Leader Snoke's apprentice, has grand plans for his ascension to the throne, and he'll need General Ben Solo's help to get there. His unfortunate Force bond with the scavenger girl is simply a means to an end.

For Year of Kylux's "Role Reversal" prompt week!“

The White Hound (kylux, complete, smut is hinted)

“Kylo's in white. That's it. That's the fic.

When Hux becomes Supreme Leader, one of his first orders is to put Kylo in white. He didn't realise it would be quite so inconveniently distracting.“

and you said, kiss me (kylux, complete)

“The Master of the Knights of Ren shifts on his feet like a cadet. “I brought you a gift,” he says lowly, through a strange static. “One best enjoyed in private.”

Hux’s brain stutters.

“It’s food,” Ren elaborates before Hux’s overtaxed mind can conjure up any embarrassing ideas—around a mind-reader, no less. “Messy to eat. You would appreciate the ease of cleaning.” Or: Ren returns from Gelda with a honeyfruit for Hux. Things get out of hand.“

Rebirth (kylux, complete)

“Over a year after Ben Solo disappeared on his hunt for Armitage Hux, Poe is sent a clue by one of his informants. While the video doesn't give any clues as to where Ben is, it certainly shows exactly who he's with and how he's spending his time.Fully embracing the name Kylo Ren, Poe's former partner shows that years of rebellion and disciplinary actions are in the past. By the General's hand, he has been reborn, and he is now the embodiment of control of mind and body.“

To the Hunt (kylux, no smut but kinks are here, complete)

“Emperor Hux throws a lavish masquerade ball to network with the political elite. To liven things up, he makes it a costume ball, and decides for this one night Ren might as well be his Hound in truth. Is it a way to deliver a subtle message to his political opponents, or is it just an excuse to lead his Knight around by a leash in public? Of course it’s both. Hux knows exactly how to mix business and pleasure, after all.

Written for the Kylux Big Bang 2016! Featuring art by @tashacho“

Cravings (kylux, complete)

“ Kylux have a ritual after Kylo comes home from battle. It involves food, sex and a mouth gag ~ “

NSFW Kylux Art (kylux)

“What it says on the tin! Enjoy! <3

TAGS UPDATED AS CHAPTERS ADDED

PLEASE HEED THE CONTENT WARNINGS AT THE TOP OF EACH CHAPTER“

Whump

Until Death Do Us Part (Modern AU, Demon Hux AU, Complete, Kylux)

“In response to a drunken dare Kylo has landed himself with an allegedly cursed box from Ebay that comes complete with a nice cuff and his very own demon intent to drive him mad and eventually into the grave. Why is it always him? As if his life doesn't suck bad enough already.”

Why are Things Like This? (Kylux, Kylo Whump, Sadly NOT Complete)

“ In a Universe were the users of the force have been killed in fear of their powers several hundred years ago there are only about seventy of them left. Like a rare breed of animal they are held as slaves in the hands of the rich and evil. When Armitage Hux is still a child he meets a young slave named Kylo, the precious slave of Snoke, Lord to the biggest empire in all the galaxies. He does not realize until much later what Kylo actually is, but he does realize that the system they live in is wrong. His goal to gain power will lead him to a future of change, and hopefully also to Kylo again. “

Beg. Scream. Curse. Cry. (Kylux, Rape/Non-Con but not from Hux, Complete)

“Ben Solo (~20 y/o) is captured by the First Order when they take a rebel base. As a prisoner of the First Order, he’s used as a form of entertainment (especially Brendol Hux). Armitage Hux (~23 y/o) doesn’t agree with this.Stay tuned for eventual retribution but it’s a bumpy ride along the way!“

Closed Circuit (Kylux, Complete, Mpreg)

“How long could a man- even a force user- live, with an injury like that?After the collapse of Starkiller Base Hux must find a way to save Kylo Ren, but he may lose himself in the process.“

We All Turn Into Stardust One Day (Kylux, Complete)

“(I do not give my consent for this work to be transferred to any other sites, or apps such as Fanfic Pocket)Hux has always been a carefully contained storm; when Kylo Ren is killed, the dam finally breaks.“

Finally (Kylux, Complete, Self-Harm warning)

“ “Is that why you harm yourself? To punish?” He already knows the answer and the way Kylo visibly folds in on himself is proof enough. “

Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad (Kylux, bottom kylo, Complete)

“Jedi Ben Solo, handsome hero of the New Republic, accompanies his uncle Luke on a memorial trip to Tatooine. As Luke mourns his family, Ben meets local peacekeeper Major Armitage Hux. Hux is unimpressed by his reputation, and proceeds to give him a scathing lesson in galactic politics before taking him on a suicide mission.

Ben falls hard.

Later, spending the night apart, both hear a holotransmission from the floor of the New Republic Senate that reveals Ben's grandfather as the infamous Darth Vader. Ben does not take this well, and falls hard again.“

In The Days Still Left (Kylux, Complete)

“ The instructions are clear, but following them will take more strength of nerves and willpower than either General Hux or Kylo Ren could have anticipated. With Starkiller Base destroyed, they are sent on a mission that will test their loyalties and bring things to light that may have been better off kept in the dark. “

Instrument and Measures (kylux, complete)

“Hux cares for Ren after Snoke’s harsh lessons, until he must face a moment of truth. Basically just injured-Kylo hurt/comfort in a non-linear narrative.*Hux is certain, therefore, that Ren cannot not-feel Hux's genuine desire to help and care for Ren. But it often seems that Ren can't quite believe it; that he discounts the perception as Hux would a physically impossible sensor-reading: the instrument must be faulty. Hux has concluded that the only way to proceed is to keep re-supplying the anomalous data-point, until Ren seems content to exist in a galaxy where grav-up reads as grav-down and the surfaces of suns as absolute zero, if only behind the door-panel of Hux's quarters.“

Find Me (Kylux, ghost kylo, complete)

“ Loneliness is a crushing weight on his chest, drawing him abruptly from his slumber. “No one visits my grave anymore.” He’s barely aware of speaking, they don’t feel like his words. Just as abruptly as it arrived, it disappears leaving him unsettled in his own skin. “

all that you love will be carried away (kylux, complete)

“Supreme Leader, the oscillator is failing. The collapse has begun. There is nothing that can be done.

Hux, sent to retrieve Kylo Ren from the dying Starkiller Base, has lost almost everything, and has little patience or tolerance left for anyone or anything--particularly not Snoke's pet pseudo-Sith and his amateur theatrics. But you do the job that is in front of you, to the best of your ability, and you hold on as long as you can.

Now with illustrations by givenclarity!“

Oceans of Infinity (kylux, complete)

“ After yet another defeat at Rey's hands, Hux is there to take care of Kylo. “

Keep Your Hands Firmly Pressed Into the Earth (Kylux, Stockholm syndrome recovery, intense, happy ending,complete)

“ Part 2. After being held hostage by Hux for two years, being broken and twisted into a new shape, Kylo has been rescued but his road to recovery is far from over. His family is there to help, but they can only help when he is ready to accept it. Ben isn't anywhere near ready to be his own person again, and it will take a lot of hard work to excise Hux's influence from him. “

keep in the dark (to stay out of the light) (kylux, Stockholm Syndrome, Torture, intense, complete, has a happy ending sequel with healing)

“ Modern AU. Smuggler Kylo Ren runs afoul of Armitage Hux, head of the First Order crime ring. Instead of killing him outright, Hux decides to keep him for his own instead. Kylo is none too thrilled with the situation, but Hux has plenty of patience. He wants Kylo to be his in every sense of the word, and they've got all the time in the world. “

Make It Up To Me (kylux, complete)

““There is no us,” Hux hissed between his teeth, his fists clenching and shaking. “You ended anything between us when you did this to me.”

Hux confronts Kylo after the events of Crait, and doles out his own abuse to even the playing field- with some dire realisations.“

Worth (kylux, complete)

“ Snoke has Kylo believing he's worthless- and strikes at his very core to get him to believe it, and have a breakdown. Hux makes sure his lover knows just how much he's really worth, and gives him some much needed TLC. “

on my way home (ben and han healing moment, NOT complete)

“Ben Solo was stuck on a wasteland; he had been since he was sixteen years old. Jakku was a good for nothing planet, nothing more than a sandy waste of space in a wide-open galaxy. Not to mention the brat he'd been forced, or so he claims, to take responsibility of when her folks dumped her in the junkyard at nine years old. He had severed his force bond long ago and resigned himself to a never-ending battle of windburn and starvation just to keep himself hidden and safe from those who wanted to use him.

That is, until an ex-Stormtrooper and a know-it-all droid came crashing down from the sky, and his pseudo little sister decided to join them for the ride. She drug him along, too, of course.“

The Force Has Other Plans (not reylo and not kylux, han and ben healing ?, NOT Complete)

“ Ben Solo has lost faith in the force. Having not seen his parents in 23 years, and suffering at the hands of Snoke, he runs away from everything, letting the universe solve its own problems. Hiding away from both the First Order and the Resistance, he lives as a scavenger on Jakku with a reprogrammed BB-9e, named Sphero. Until, one day he gets caught in the middle of a situation he never wanted to find himself in. Now on the run from the First Order with a fellow scavenger, a rogue Stormtrooper and a BB-unit carrying a map to Luke Skywalker, Ben can only hope that this ends soon. But, the force has other plans. “

Black and Blue (kylux, complete)

“Kiss #5: Where It Doesn’t Hurt.

Ren is a damn idiot. Yes, again.“

Lighthouse (kylux, self harm warning, complete)

“Kylo self-harms.

Hux understands.“

Patricide Can Be Cathartic (kylux, complete)

“ Hux has one of his recurring nightmares, and Kylo helps him break free of a stagnant pattern in order to gain catharsis, and console his inner child that has needed comfort and healing for decades. “

One Day More (kylux, complete)

“ Kylo laid one pale hand against the viewport and watched the space around it turn opaque with condensation. He would be there, soon. Would be with him, soon. “

Strictly Business (kylux, intense, Stockholm syndrome, complete)

“ Modern AU. Ben Organa is a paralegal at Armitage Hux's corporate law firm. When his performance starts to suffer from overwork, Hux takes him on to be his personal assistant as a special project. Hux pulls him into a manipulative relationship on his own terms, certainly not Ben's. Ben is drawn further into Hux's life, learning about his family and secrets best left buried. As Hux's emotional hold on him deepens, Ben struggles to keep his head above water, even as he starts to wonder if Hux truly cares for him or not, and whether Hux's attention is worth the high cost. “

Reconditioning (kylux, intense, complete)

“Ben Solo is one of the FBI's most promising young agents. While he's had a few disciplinary hiccups, he's intelligent and not afraid to do what needs to be done. His personal life is a mess, and he may not look like your typical federal agent, but he might be the only man for this job. Ben's looking for a promotion and something like the glory his parents always talked about before he was born.

The FBI is looking to take down one of the country's most elusive prostitution rings, specializing in the types of sex that Ben's boss has only read about in the novel his wife hides under the bed. Ben is going undercover as a "slave" in order to gather information on the ring's leaders, purchasing a premium package from the agency. 30 days as a slave to a professional Master, and a guaranteed sexual experience of a lifetime.

He gets chosen by Hux, or the General as he insists Ben call him, and he quickly realizes that no training could have prepared him for this experience. Every day, Ben, or Kylo as he is known at the club, finds out more and more about the organization, but the more he learns the less he wants to destroy them.“

Off Record (kylux, complete)

“ General Hux stumbles across a feverish Kylo Ren and finds himself reluctantly taking on a caretaker role. Kylo's sneezes are unintentionally destructive, and some of Hux's thoughts are louder than others. “

A Good Day (kylux, complete)

“ After decades together, Hux and Ren embark on a new journey. “

In a Nutshell (kylux, complete)

“ After years in exile, Leia’s son must ask her for a favor. “

NFWMB (kyloren x ren, complete)

“ Ben was harmed and Ren won’t stand for it. “

Redemption

It Will Never Be Kylo Ren (Very Brief Kylux, Father Son Healing Story, Complete)

“ Han Solo didn't regret getting hauled into the intergalactic war by a teenager and a crazy old man. Han Solo didn't regret putting his ass on the line for that poncey Princess that unfairly insulted him, constantly. Han Solo never regretted that time he drank twenty-something glasses of dragonjuice at a weird canteen on Ryloth -- or the time he did it again. But he did regret one thing: failing the most important person in the entire galaxy. Ben Solo was his baby boy, the only being in the vast universe that called him 'dad' -- his proudest title -- and a word that he missed so much hearing. After promising his wife, General Leia Organa, Han Solo makes one final attempt to reach out to his lost son and to bring him back into the Light. Now stuck on a frozen wasteland of a planet with nothing but each other, a cave and a blistering snowstorm, Han and Kylo Ren have nothing other to do, than to finally talk and hope that the cold doesn't turn lethal. “

Always Finding Trouble, The Curse of Being a Solo (NOT Complete, Father Son Healing some more, Still barely any Kylux)

“ Kylo Ren has decided to give Ben Solo another chance. But of course things aren't that simple. With Snoke still torturing him at every turn, Ben struggles to keep hold of the Light, but at least this time he has help. Han Solo is determined to aid his son by doing what he knows how to do best, running away. At least this time he's taking his son with him, and by the Galaxy is he going to make the most of it. It's time to teach Ben the ropes. He'll make a Smuggler out of him yet. “

Compassionate Reality (Kylo and Han healing, complete, possibly my favorite fic with kylo ren in it ever)

“ This was the biggest lie of all. Snoke believed he was hewn marble. He at the helm, chipping away until Ren was scratched and scraped into what he desired him to be. But he just wasn’t. “

strike me down (Ben Solo x Rey, its very mild in my opinion, the only reylo fic you’d see me read, more focused on han and ben healing, and redemption, NOT complete)

“ Kylo Ren's father is dead, but he isn't gone. And dying hasn't made him any less determined to bring his son home. The question is, will Kylo Ren allow it? “

Miscellaneous

Lonely Spirits Flickering (Kylux, Complete)

“Armitage Hux did not believe in afterlife.

Turned out, afterlife believed in him.“

Breaking The Ice (Kylux, Complete, Modern AU)

“Ignoring the noise of a crowd comes easy to Hux as he glides along the Ice. It does nothing to interrupt his flow as he enthrals them, demanding the attention of every soul.

Ignoring the enraged screaming of a hockey player on the other hand is much more difficult.“

Empty Space, Watch The Waves (Kylux, Modern AU< Merman Kylo, Complete)

“The longer he thought about it, the less he could deny it. Impossible as it seemed, it had been real. He had bloodstains on the sleeves of his shirt to prove it. He had so many questions, and they kept him up well into the night. What was that thing? A merman, he supposed, silly as it sounded, but since when were they real? Were there more like him? If he was real, what else might be out there, undiscovered?

And one question above all: how had he survived?“

Screaming Colour (Kylux, Soulmate AU, Complete)

“For as long as Hux can remember, he's been able to see everything in brilliant, vivid colour. His mother tells him that it means that he's got a soulmate somewhere in the galaxy who's waiting for him and little Hux is excited to think that his soulmate can see things in the amazing colours that he can.But one day, the colour begins to drain from Hux's world.

(Soulmate AU where you see everything in perfect colour until your soulmate dies)“

The Black Squadron Leader (Kylux, Rebel AU, NOT Complete)

“It was inevitable that they would meet; the General of the First Order and the Black Squadron Leader, an entity that had been a long time thorn in his side.The General, however, could not have anticipated the way their meeting would turn out when he walked into the holding cell to meet the rebellious and incorrigible Ben Solo.

((This story is still in its initial stages and is subject to change))“

do we indeed desire the dead should still be near us at our side (kylux, melancholic, Han and Hux meet, complete)

“Hux finally meets Han Solo.

---

The title is a quote from 'In Memoriam' by Lord Alfred Tennyson“

searching through shadows and snow (kylux, complete)

“ After Exegol, Ben Solo goes into exile only to discover that he's pregnant with Hux's child. He gives birth to a baby boy with bright red hair and tells him stories of his father. But even with a second chance at life and his son's light, Ben's grief grows stronger every day, because Hux is dead...isn't he? “

Flyboys (kylux, complete)

“ England, 1941 - Armitage Hux, pilot in the Royal Air Force, has finally gotten command of his own squadron. But instead of a group of well-trained British pilots, he gets twelve inexperienced American volunteers. Among them is Ben Solo, a talented young fighter pilot who would be the best in the squadron if it wasn’t for his temper. As they take to the skies, Hux and Ben find themselves forming an illicit but powerful bond against the backdrop of a world at war. “

he’s not a villain, he’s just a boy (kylo and Anakin Skywalker and Obi-wan kenobi, NOT complete, time-travel fic)

“"It's not like they're going to go out of their way to share their secrets. Bastards, more interested in interfering with the Senate and politics rather than actually doing what they're meant to."

"They're at war against the separatists as well mind you. They've stretched themselves out way too far."

Kylo looked up to see the two patients looking at him, both looking away when they saw that he caught them. Kylo scoffed under his breath and went back to his thoughts.

It took a moment for their words to register in his mind. His tentative grasp on the force around him wobbled and almost escaped his hold. It took all of his control to not let it burst out from him.

Separatists?“

#kylux #kylo ren #general hux #kylo x ren #knights of ren #Han Solo #omega kylo #alpha hux #bottom kylo #trans kylo #kakisocks rec list

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imakemywings · 1 year

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for the character bingo: Maglor/Elros/Finduilas? (no pressure to do all of them!)

Maglor:

Maglor oh Maglor...you fetid dead shrimp of an Elf. I actually like Maglor a lot, I think he's a very interesting character. He's both an artist and a deadly warrior. He's the only Feanorian we see really push back against the Oath and the only one who ever suggests they just stop. He doesn't hang onto that, but there is an effort and there are other signs late in the First Age that he has regrets about the path he's taken and I think he's genuine about those. However, I am exhausted with how the fandom handwaves his crimes, acts like he's somehow less culpable than his family in their war crimes, lambasts his victims as authors of their own suffering, acts like his victims are obliged to forgive him because he feels bad, and act like his relationship with Elrond and Elros was some fluffy sweet found family story. Maglor's fucked-up-ness, as with all the Feanorians, is a huge part of what makes him interesting.

I think Maglor, for most of his life, was an incredibly selfish person. That exhibits in different ways. In Tirion, it was because he was an Artist and he did not have time for his stupid brothers and cousins' issues, he was Creating Art that was going to last a Thousand Years and he was above petty nonsense like caring about other people's problems. Maglor, like Feanor, feels a lot, and he is very willing to subordinate other people's needs to his feelings. Maglor's feelings >>> everything else. (The drama in Tirion was never-ending!)

When we see him start wavering after the Third Kinslaying, I think a few things were going on, but one of those things was I think Maglor was starting to panic. He was looking at what they had done and realizing that actually, he's a pretty shitty person when everything is tallied up. Nobody is going to remember him for his art--they're going to remember him for the ruthless slaughter in pursuit of his father's property and the total extinguishing of an entire culture out of Middle-earth. This is where we see him start to push back against Maedhros and the Oath--he isn't upset about the one Silmaril lost to Earendil, he argues against pursuing the two held by the host of Aman, he suggests they go and repent to the Valar and accept whatever punishment might be due them.

"Fostering" Elrond and Elros was, to me, a desperate Hail Mary effort at self-redemption by Maglor. It was also, again, a deeply selfish act. He took two traumatized children whose family and people he butchered, whose home he had destroyed, and whose culture he had erased, and tried to make them the vessel of his salvation. Which is not to say he didn't genuinely love them! I think he did and I think they were perhaps the only source of joy for him at that time in his life. And I think he realized somewhere on the front end that this was fucked up, but by then he was attached to them, and it took him years to reach the point of being selfless enough to let go of them and let them leave.

Maglor's journey to regret is complete, to me, when he rejects the Silmaril. At this point, he openly acknowledges to himself and others that what they did was wrong, it was in vain, and he regrets. If he could do it over, he would do things differently. But it's too late now--and there's no one left to hear him say it.

The interesting thing about "Maglor lives" AUs to me is that it gives him the chance he lacked in canon to make good on his claims of regret and actually do better. Because I think he is capable of it, it's just that he never quite gets there in canon, not before it's too late.

Finduilas:

Most of what I have to say about Finduilas is based on headcanon, because alas, we don't get a ton out of her in canon.

Finduilas is someone I see as aggressively optimistic. Not the kind of dewy-eyed optimism where she thinks things will just ~work out~ but more of a determination to do everything she can to make things work out and a commitment to avoiding self-defeating pessimism. She will not despair until there is absolutely no avenue left to her; I think she does a great job of maintaining estel. This is why she held out hope that Gwindor would come back from Angband.

But I think the Gwindor who returned from Angband was naturally a very different person than the one who had ridden out from Nargothrond. He would have necessarily come back extremely traumatized after twelve years as a slave of Melkor and while I think Finduilas was committed to helping him recover, I think his newly cynical and harsh outlook on life cooled the ardor of their earlier relationship.

I also think she was drawn to Turin because he has a similar kind of hopeful outlook. In a perverse sense, despite his pessimism about himself, Turin keeps trying to make things better and keeps believing he can make things better even when everything goes wrong for him again and again. I think Finduilas was drawn to this attitude and that's a big part of what made her fall in love with him.

I also like to think Finduilas was a healer! She was interested in medicine and made a personal study of it for many years and even delivered babies in Nargothrond.

I don't think she and Gil-galad were especially close but I do think she looked up to him a lot and would have been proud to see him take the crown of the high king of the Noldor.

Sorry Elros, I don't really have enough thoughts about you to share ╯︿╰ I do like the headcanon though that part of the reason he chose to be a Man was because of his disgust with how the Elves had behaved in the First Age and that he never fully forgave the Feanorians for their actions. I also see him as a rather adventurous person--he has to be, to willingly take the path with the unknown end!

#tolkien bingo #maglor #finduilas

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talltale-lore · 10 months

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Talltale Lore (info taken directly from my lore doc) #2

(Just showcasing 3 in this post)

More info about these characters will also be shared in the future btw, these descriptions don’t contain everything they have to offer in this AU, I will have many more tidbits in my “Lore Stuff” and “Character Info” segments!

Art of Gaster and Crimson are also old, but their designs are still accurate and hold up!

TALLTALE GASTER

He is the only survivor (still working on the reason how) of the entire massacre of the underground and he guides Frisk throughout the journey. He “tries” to be helpful and his plans do typically work, however they end up causing Frisk more harm than good as his plans put Frisk directly in harm’s way most of the time.

By the time Frisk falls, Gaster at that point does feel extreme guilt and remorse for what he did… Unfortunately though, despite him wanting to change his ways and seek redemption (redemption he doesn’t deserve might I add), he never seems to actually take the steps necessary to change himself for the better despite desperately wanting to! Not to mention that although he may not be at the horrific level of experimenting on kids anymore, he is still cold, dismissive, and narcissistic to others. Gaster will frequently dismiss and ignore Frisk and (nearly) every other character’s ideas and feelings. He thinks he and his plans alone are the only things that can keep Frisk alive and save all the spirits’ souls; even if they directly put Frisk in harm’s way. He also victim-blames, lying and deceiving everyone by saying that Corrupted Chara was the one to kill everything; when in reality he was the one to actually be the catalyst of it all.

However, there is another side to him… The war with humans greatly affected him, being what caused him to hate Chara and humans as a whole so much and after everything. One integral part of his character is that after The Incident, Gaster begins to experience horrifying hallucinations of what he did… Resulting in him being incredibly paranoid (he’s really good at hiding it, but it can occasionally slip in front of the others, and the mask slips completely when he discovers what Frisk has been doing in the Genocide Route).

Like Frisk, When each human falls, he sends all of them out putting them to the quest of freeing all the vengeful and restless souls inhabiting the underground, but unfortunately their fates all remain the same, they all (most anyway) die from the claws of Corrupted Chara. Until Frisk finally falls... Only now will things be different… As Gaster finally decides that maybe Frisk would have a higher chance of surviving if he actually went along with them.

The first picture is Gaster before The Incident and the second one is Gaster after The Incident.

The device you see on his chest in the Post-Incident version is something to help keep him alive… Asgore and Gaster had a vicious fight when Asgore finds out whats been happening and confronts him (I'll explain in more detail later with the lore involving Asgore and Alphys). Asgore struck him right in the chest! He would have given the final blow if it weren't for Chara's dying screams interrupting them….

The ripped clothing and contraption was a result from the fight with Asgore (though some tears in the clothing could also be from some of the evolved wildlife), but the cracked skull and missing eye was caused by The Incident. What Gaster didn’t take into account however when having to make his contraption, was that the device worked a little too well and is keeping him from dying of old age. It’s something Gaster is pretty much stuck with having… As he can’t exactly take it off to tamper with it because he’d die pretty quickly…

CRIMSON

Crimson is an ancient demon who had his soul shattered thousands of years ago, with the remaining fragments being sealed deep into the earth… Crimson was rendered powerless along with another character (Will explain later) after this… And thanks to Gaster, Crimson is able to become powerful again and finish what he started a long time ago…

The "substance" Gaster finds, studies, and injects into Chara’s soul (while also destroying the underground) are actually the remaining fragments of his shattered soul! Due to the Substance being linked directly to Crimson, this is why none of the Spirits are able to move on and roam the Underground! Crimson also plays a huge integral role in the AU… As he and Corrupted Chara pretty much share a soul now thanks to Gaster.

Crimson for the time being is ultimately powerless, but his influence and power will continue to grow stronger as the routes go on until he won’t be so weak anymore. As time goes by (and it can be seen happening throughout the routes as well), more and more spikes will grow on and surround Chara’s soul. This will keep happening until eventually their soul will be completely covered in it. Each spike that grows is a step closer for Crimson… When Chara’s soul is fully covered, Crimson will be powerful enough to finally take over Chara’s entire body, mind, and soul; with Chara’s body essentially becoming Crimson’s new one. When this eventually happens, this will sadly result in Chara’s consciousness to be gone forever…

Until that happens however, Crimson acts like a voice in Corrupted Chara’s head… Constantly encouraging them to kill and be as brutal and vicious as possible. He lies to them, manipulates them, belittles them, and will even scream at them over the smallest of things… He’ll also blame them for their family “not loving them”, shame them for missing the Dreemurrs despite everything, and will frequently tell them they were a mistake, even saying things much MUCH MUCH worse to them. Corrupted Chara is sadly not able to get rid of his torment nor stop it all either… This is a major factor on the many reasons why Corrupted Chara is always conflicted and at odds with themselves.

Crimson will also frequently encourage Chara’s feelings of wanting vengeance too! Being the person who actually came up with “Chara’s” plan to destroy every universe as an act of revenge, knowing full well he’ll probably be able to take over their body completely by that point in time. When Chara rejects the idea even slightly (not knowing Crimson will take over them obviously), he manipulates the feeling right out of them every time… He does this because he wants to destroy everything as an act of revenge, FARRR more so than Chara… Essentially turning Chara’s plan into his, just with him manipulating Chara into thinking that it’s something they’d want and need, and not him.

Crimson is also ENORMOUS, Bigger than Corrupted Chara actually! In fact, he's why Corrupted Chara is so huge in the first place. Not to mention him looking the way he does is also why Corrupted Chara looks similar to him as well!

What his origins are (as well as the Origins of the other character) I’m leaving up for interpretation! You’re allowed to get creative with ideas and headcanons!

CORRUPTED CHARA

Chara, corrupted by Gaster's twisted experiments. To make the long story short- Gaster took Chara and experimented on them behind the Dreemurr's back, the family having no idea of what he was doing with them. All they knew was that they went "missing" and searched everywhere for them but to no avail...

Gaster injects a substance into their soul (aka Crimson's soul fragments). The substance bursts out of their chest, killing them painfully. After they die, the substance injected into them starts growing rapidly… killing everything and everyone. Gaster is the only survivor in this now dust-filled wasteland (not taking the evolving wildlife into account ofc)… This event, labeled as “The Incident" or the "The Great Massacre" by Gaster, leaves Chara EXTREMELY corrupted almost beyond recognition… Filled with burning vengeance and anger for what Gaster did to them, killing the six humans that fell (most of them anyway, once again, like many things, it’ll be explained later) and constantly stalking and attacking Gaster and Frisk throughout the entire journey, hellbent on destroying them in any way possible.

They are sharing their soul with Crimson (who is slowly starting to use them as a host). He acts like a little voice in their head, constantly encouraging them to kill and destroy everything they see, yet also belittling, mocking, screaming, and lying to them at the same time- Completely destroying their self-esteem in the process…

As time goes on, another spike will form on their soul, with each one being one step closer for Crimson to start controlling them. (Besides the whole corrupted thing) pain, anger, vengeance, and sadness is what basically drove them over the edge into insanity. They are far more than "that monster who's hunting you down". Unlike Flowey from Undertale, they still have their soul! They can feel emotions any other person would. Despite all the vengeance and anger they show, deep down, they have a very deep sadness that runs through them, maybe even a little bit of fear and loneliness as well. They have a lot of conflicting emotions… They miss the Dreemurrs a lot, despite wanting to hate them for (what they see as) abandoning them to Gaster’s torture. Yet they can’t seem to bring themselves too…

Corrupted Chara is also quite animalistic, they can roar, screech, and even go on all fours if they wanted too! But despite that, they are very human-like. They can talk and can feel any emotion any other person can due to still having their soul (like mentioned above).

They are also both half dead and half alive. Like the spirits, the state Chara is in is the direct result of them dying. But unlike the spirits, Chara didn’t come back as a ghost like everyone else. Due to the substance being injected into their soul and because of Crimson, they come back, but as alive again (sorta); with their body contorting with their corruption and with them actually being physically there and not as an apparition unlike the spirits.

With them being half alive, they HAVE to eat, breathe, drink, sleep, etc. to STAY alive like any living thing! However, there are key differences... Due to also being half dead, Corrupted Chara has no pulse (though if terrified, they may get the feeling of having one due to brain-trickery but they don’t actually have it). They also produce no body heat, and most depressingly (just like the spirits), if Chara dies in this corrupted state… They are pretty much gone forever and their consciousness will just… Cease to exist due to already being dead technically speaking.

(There’s a LOT more info I have in store for CC! CC so far is my most developed character, so stay tuned!)

CC’s color scheme is quite dark… So I also made a picture lowering the opacity so people can see their details better

#undertale #undertale aus #talltale #undertale au #chara #talltale chara #corrupted chara #crimson #Talltale crimson #Gaster #w.d. gaster #Talltale Gaster #Talltale W.D. Gaster #Talltale lore

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limetimo · 11 months

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20 questions for fic writers

saw this on @magswrite's blog and really wanted to do it, just pretend I was tagged please xD

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

37!

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

282,087

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Harry Potter, but I have a few fics for Marvel too.

4. What are you top 5 fics by kudos?

Teenagers Scare The Living Sh*t Out Of Me - The year is 1995. Regulus Black is BACK, 18 or 33, whichever is more convenient for him at the moment, and he's back with VENGENCE.

Regulus Orange Is The New Black Cat - Regulus is Crookshanks AU

I Pledge My Loyalty - Regulus, Lily and Severus AKA the power trio you didn't know you needed

45 Decibels snippets from Crookshanks!Regulus

Love Poison oh I didn't even notice this one got so high on the list. Oh my heart. My baby. Black Brothers angst with a very hopeful ending.

5. Do you respond comments? Why or why not?

Always! Fandom is about the community. I love seeing/chatting with my regulars :D Like hiii bestie!!

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Lord's Redemption (Friday 30, October 1981) definitely. Or maybe It would eat you like poison If you knew what I knew, though I nearly forgotten I've written this. Has it really only been 2 years?

7. What is a fic your wrote with the happiest ending?

Uhhh Regulus Didn't Die For This is an overall very happy fic with a very happy ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

None that I can remember!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I've written some, but none of it made it on Ao3 now that I think about it. The closest thing to smut I've got on my profile is Sinking Slowly (wolfstar exploring nonsexual kink)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest you’ve written?

No but I want to :D

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of

12. Have you ever has a fic translated?

Yes! One reader asked if they could translate 45Decibels to Chineese, and then they did it. (I've been told by a different chineese reader the translation isn't super smooth but hey. Translating is hard.)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, Dominoes, as a part of a fest, but we both got busy with life and then kinda forgot it existed...?

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I love writing Bartylus. For reading, there's always some absolute masterpiece with Drarry, and I go back to IronWinter periodically.

15. What’s a wip you what to finish but doubt you ever will?

Capymama II, the sequel to Capymama. I have enough written that I can consider it a WIP and not a plot bunny, but I don't really see myself completing it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've got no shame! I killed the cringe in me!

17. What are you writing weaknesses?

I'm not witty or smart enough for my characters. My boy wants to say a funny thing or be a classical musician or an art restorator or discuss cult indoctrination at length and I'm sitting at the keyboard like. "I don't even have vocabulary for this, much less practical knowledge. Send help"

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Always a difficult problem to solve, how to incorporate translation in a way that doesn't make your or the reader's head hurt. I went with special brackets in Teenagers and yes I question that decision on daily basis

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Marvel. Or, Tony Stark if we want to be exact.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

The Unfroggivable Curse holds a very special place in my heart ♥

no pressure tag for @ncoincidences and anyone who wants to do this too ♥

#fic rec #tag game

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scottxlogan · 2 years

Note

Writer’s wrap, 6, 13, 16, 20 pls!

Thanks so much for the ask! This has been really fun and such an interesting series of questions to answer, so thanks for that!

6. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Okay, so for me this is a toss up because there are a few that really stand out (I know I’m supposed to pick one, but I just can’t so I’ll pick 3 lol)

Damaged: Not going to lie this story was my saving grace at the beginning of the pandemic because it was my way of coping with being in lockdown for a very long time. This story also is a spin on most of my other post-DOFP Scott/Logan stories where Scott is essentially so damaged in ways by life/his sense of duty/his pain/losses/life experiences/etc. that I don’t often explore most of my in fics. He’s at a dark place and Logan just is this beacon bringing him back and opening him up to finding something that in this world he never had before not even with the Logan that was a part of it before this Logan arrived (yes it sounds complicated, but if you read the fic you’ll get it I promise and it won’t disappoint). It follows the theme of second chances and finding your soulmate against impossible odds. I know it’s another long story, but it’s one that a lot of people have enjoyed and told me how it’s touched them along the way, which means a lot because it’s special to me.

Home Again: This story is so special to me because it’s about healing and forgiveness and love and basically me trying to fix some missteps in the MCU. I’ve had a lot of fun with this one writing ghost!Tony with Bucky that I’m probably (absolutely) stalling on the ending and I do apologize for that, but this one has been so special because I took a supernatural spin and knew from the very first word just how it would end and it has been such a fun journey for me. As for the future with it, I can promise it fits into my popular ‘additional tag’ on AO3 lol.

End of the Line: (Read the answer to the next question to find out why lol, but it was a triumph of writing for me at a time when I wasn’t sure where my writing future was at lol)

13. What’s your longest work of the year?

My longest work is End of the Line (766,117 words) This one is my longest work EVER and it started a little bit at the end of last year, but I imagine it will be the lonest fanfic I ever write and I did it for a reverse bang, which in retrospect was kind of crazy lol. The cool part about writing it is that it was the first time I wrote WinterIron and I was so inspired by the art/conversations that I had with @massivespacewren during the creative process that I wound up writing this epic story (at least in terms of length) where I posted a chapter every day for 68 days. It was a labor of love and a challenge unlike any other I’d taken on. I know the length sounds intimidating, but man was it fun to go all out and try something new. This AU story finds Tony rock bottom after he walks away from the team when an accidental misstep on a mission drives him away from being a hero. He’s caught up in his guilt/pain/grief that he leaves everything about his old life and finds himself in isolation where a chance meeting with a mysterious, handsome stranger turns his world around and brings him back to finding himself again. Along the way he seeks out redemption, love and a means of forgiving himself for the sins of the past. There’s so much I could say about that story and some behind the scenes secrets as well, but yeah that is probably my longest work in terms of fanfic of all time I think. Nothing will probably ever top that one lol.

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

Angst with a happy ending (would be my guess) lol I am a sucker for stories where the reader knows at the end no matter how bad the obstacles might be that they will be rewarded for their time invested in the story. Some have said it takes away from the suspense element in putting that out there, but for me I like to let people know that yes there’s going to be a big payoff at the end and it’ll be well worth the wait :)

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most? Um, probably not one I’ve posted on AO3 as I was writing an original novel that I was kind of deeply invested in for a while. If I had to pick something I’ve posted on AO3, which is what this is about I suppose lol I would say probably Under Your Spell as it was a challenge someone gave me that I had fun with. I haven’t read it in a while, but there’s something about Logan drinking a ‘love potion’ and finding himself head over heels for Scott that was really fun to write. Another one I’ve enjoyed rereading every now and then is Date Night (which is the 2nd one shot in my Better Together series as it opened the door to Scott/Tony bonding with Bruce Banner and deepening their friendship in it. It kind of set the tone in a lot of ways for the multi-chapter fic (Better Together) that followed and honestly if people look deeper into the Better Together story you’ll probably not think of Waffle House the same again lol. Hands down that scene I’ve probably read a few times since it was super romantic and fun. And now I’m going to stop rambling now, but these were a lot of fun! Thank you so much for asking!

#stormxpadme #ao3 wrapped #ask me #my fics #scogan #winteriron #my writing #such a fun journey down memory lane

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yoonia · 3 years

Text

white lies ● chapters iii

➬ Subtitle | The truth about us

➬ Pairings | Kim Taehyung x reader

➬ Genre | Childhood/Best Friends!AU, Angst, Future Smut

➬ Summary | Growing up together, you had always thought that he would always be a part of your life forever, until he suddenly chose a different path, leaving you altogether in the shadows of your past. What happens when you finally decide to move on, to walk down your new path in life without him, while completely unaware of how it had been him who had been standing in the shadows, drowning in his own little secrets?

➥ Ratings | PG-13

➥ Word count | 5,5k words

➥ Beta read by @theodea, @randombtsprincessa and @softyoongiionly | thank you, my lovely bubs!

➥ Main Masterlist | ⤎ Previous Chapter | Chapter List | Next Chapter ⇢

chapter iii. half-truths

We can help each other.

Sometimes, Taehyung could still hear that old conversation running in his head whenever he closed his eyes. He had been so young, completely lost and in dire need of guidance back then that he had taken every word Mina had given him as the answer to his prayers.

Looking back on that moment today, Taehyung couldn’t decide whether it had been a blessing or a curse that it had happened at all. He thought that he was ready to face the consequences and to get through all of the sacrifices that he had to take. But clearly, he was wrong.

“The first step to redemption would be to tell her the whole truth,” he remembered Seokjin said to him. He had to admit that he owed it to Seokjin for helping him in keeping his secrets, even if he also knew that his friend had never once enjoyed doing it.

And none of this would have happened if I had heeded his warnings years ago either.

Taking a deep breath, Taehyung recalled everything and slowly began to reveal everything that he had kept hidden from you for years. Starting from the day he first saw Mina when she began riding the same bus to school as the one you and Taehyung did. The way he was curious and excited to see someone new, and how he had hidden the real intention behind his first approach to her so well that you had read it as a crush, an attraction, something more than what it truly was.

“When we first met her, she had just moved into town. It was easy to notice how hard it had been for her to make friends, so I decided to say hi,” he said with an awkward chuckle. “You were there, so you knew when it happened.”

You said nothing and simply nodded, allowing him to continue. “That was really all there was to it. I just wanted to introduce myself, ask her to be friends and hang out with us, since we were going to the same school and went on the same ride every morning.”

But then he fell silent, unable to tell you that he had also pictured how he was going to draw her in his sketchbooks, to have her to model for him. Nobody had truly known about his new interest in creating art and painting back then. He was too shy to share it with the people around him and was too insecure to show it to the world that he had done all he could to hide it from everyone, including you.

When he raised his head to look at you, he remembered thinking that the only girl he had ever wanted to draw was you. He still wanted to, so badly, but he never had the courage to show his drawings to you, much less to ask if you would ever want to be his model. And yet, he also couldn’t find it in himself to ask anyone else to do it for him when he couldn’t even muster the courage to show his work. Not when the only things he had ever drawn before had been nothing but little animals, parts of the nature that he saw from around him, and other inanimate objects that he could find then.

Until Mina came into the picture.

Taehyung had thought that drawing a beautiful girl like Mina would help make it easy for him to get used to drawing a real model. Nothing could really go wrong when he had the perfect model to help him practice, right? Especially when she never made him feel as nervous as the way you would make him feel whenever you were near.

How was he supposed to keep himself calm and make sure that he would be able to stop his hand from trembling too hard when one look coming from you would be enough to have him flustering and his heart racing so bad he couldn’t keep himself together?

Mina was also a stranger then. The only person who had never witnessed him humiliating himself in front of the art class during middle school when he showed his drawings for the first time. The reaction coming from his friends back then had added his insecurities, and the thought of people making fun of him if he should ever open up about his hobby or his love for art had forced him to hide it from the world.

Including you.

It was a complete relief when Mina had agreed to help him so willingly and accepted the offer to model for him while promising to keep things a secret. Then it felt like fate when Mina revealed that her grandfather was an artist and a painter himself, and that she might be able to convince him to give Taehyung a few pointers and teach him personally how to become a better painter. It was an offer that Taehyung could never refuse, even when it had all come with a prize.

Taehyung had come close to tell you all of this, but he bit his tongue before he could let it slip. Not yet, he thought to himself before he began to tell you more about what had actually happened without mentioning this secret interest of his that still needed a lot of work.

“When we finally got closer, I was able to confide in her about a lot of things, some personal stuff and a lot that I’ve never shared with anyone else before.” Things that he couldn’t share with you because he was too embarrassed to open up about it. Not when he had yet to gain enough confidence to show it to the world. “I needed a favour from her regarding something that I was working on then, and she agreed to lend a helping hand. Though she would only do it on one specific condition, only if I would be willing to help her solve her problem at the same time.”

Taehyung stopped to release a shuddering breath. Sometimes, he would wonder how things would have ended if he never made the agreement. Would he have gotten here, hanging his head in shame for all the mistakes that he had made? Would he have gone as far as he had, coming so close to fulfilling his dreams and so close to keeping the promises that he had made years ago?

Would he have been able to do the same without all the mess?

With a defeated sigh, he could only continue, “From then on, everything just fell into place, while at the same time, completely messed up. A lot of things just happened without me having any power to stop them.”

You tilted your head. “I don’t understand. Is this when you started dating her?”

Taehyung winced and quickly said, “No, it’s not like that.” Instead of explaining further, he only pressed his lips together, looking conflicted for a moment before he finally admitted with a nod, “I mean, yes. That was when I started dating her. But you need to understand that I—” Once again, he seemed to choke up. “It’s really too complicated for me to explain.”

“Just tell me.”

Taehyung looked at you for a moment before he finally spoke again, “In exchange for her help to solve my problem, I had to help her solve hers. Mina was stuck in a condition where she was bound in some kind of family obligations that had seemed impossible for her to escape from and the only way she knew how to get away from it was by dating me. I know, it sounds ridiculous and implausible, but—”

You frowned at him. “How? How was dating you supposed to release her from her family’s deal? What do you mean by—” you kept looking at him to search for a clue, until it finally dawned on you. “You pretended to be her boyfriend?”

“Yes, I did,” he finally answered. “I had to agree because she was so desperate to escape from her family’s clutch.”

And because I was so desperate for a way out, when it had seemed like all I had was a dead end and I was losing hope. Once again, he bit his tongue, stopping himself from saying too much, too soon.

As if you could hear his thoughts, a scoff came out of your lips while you kept looking at him with disbelief. “Why didn’t you ever tell me anything about this?”

“Because I—” he sighed, and began cursing himself. Because I was an idiot. Because I was a coward. And a million other reasons came running through his head as he looked back into the past.

“Because I was lost and I had no idea how to even begin to tell you the truth about everything. I had to make sure everyone would believe that we were a couple. She had firmly insisted that I keep my mouth shut until the end of the deal.” He closed his eyes just then, grimacing when he recalled how everything began to crumble into pieces. “And then at some point, she started to treat me like I was her real boyfriend. Perhaps for her, the feelings were real, even if there had only been so little of it, and I had to play along because I still needed to do my part while she was still helping me with everything.”

The truth tasted bitter in his own tongue, especially when he still couldn’t tell you everything. And it felt even worse when he heard you speak again.

“You let it ruin us,” your voice came out as a whisper, and yet it was enough for him to feel your pain that it broke him further than it already has. “All the secrets, all the lies, and in exchange for what? You said that Mina was doing you a favour. You told me everything about what Mina wanted from you, but what about you, Taehyung? What did you need to escape from?”

You continued to sit there, seething silently while you were still trying to wrap your head around everything that he had just told you.

All this time, you had been living with a broken heart, going through the motions while being completely oblivious to any of this. You have made decisions after decisions to make changes in your life, to do your best to move on, to tend to the wounds that he had inflicted—over a bunch of lies?

The thought of it made your blood boil with rage. How could he possibly think that it was a good idea to deceive people, to deceive you? And what would be his reasons to make such a deal behind your back?

Instead of giving you an answer, Taehyung simply kept his head low.

That was when you finally noticed how exhausted he seemed. As if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders and he was struggling to stay strong. Looking at him, you suddenly realised just how little you knew about him. The man who was sitting right across from you today was definitely not the same man who you had grown to know for more than half of your lifetime, not ever since he turned his back on you.

Silence fell for a brief moment before you spoke again. ��More secrets, Taehyung?”

“I want to tell you everything, but I’m not ready. Not yet. But I—” He seemed conflicted for a moment. You could see the battle of conscience going on inside his mind through his gaze, when he took his time to consider his answers. But then the moment you looked up to you again, the vulnerability he carried suddenly vanished, and he let his guard up once again.

“You need to understand that I never meant to hurt or to deceive you. I was wrong for pushing you aside, and to make you think that you never meant a thing to me,” he said, still without answering your question. The only thing he did was to lean closer, taking your hands back in his just as you began to pull back. “Give me a chance to prove it. I will fix everything and make things better, I promise.”

He tightened his grip on your hands hard enough to make you flinch that you pulled them away just then. Your fingers brushed against his palms roughly, allowing him to feel something that had his entire body frozen still. He still had his eyes on your hands even as you tried to hide them from his intense gaze, though you already knew that there was no use of hiding it, when he had already caught sight of what you were trying to hide.

You knew when his eyes were still locked on your hands. Specifically on the glowing rose gold band that was wrapped around your finger.

"Wha—what is that?"

This time, you were the one to bow your head in shame as you moved your right hand over the other to cover it. "Taehyung—”

“Is that what I think it is?"

The disbelief tone in his voice had you frowning. For a second, you couldn’t find the words to explain or to answer him, but then you noticed the cold, hard look in his eyes that was filled with pain. The same pain that suddenly started poking right inside your chest. “It’s, um—”

“Have I lost you?” he questioned you with a broken voice before you ever had the chance to answer him.

Looking into his eyes, you found no recollection in them, only the devastation that he must have been feeling. You kept your cool, even when you could feel your heart splintering into pieces. “I think you lost us the moment you decided to let your secrets come between us,” you told him. “Why couldn’t you trust me enough to share those secrets? We used to share everything, why was it so hard for you to share whatever it is that you are still not telling me.”

Taehyung said nothing, but you could still see the regret in his eyes just as he clenched his hands tightly right in front of him. “The promises that we made to each other—” your voice broke the moment your memories went back as far as way back then, back when the two of you were still innocent and proud, still too gullible to understand how real life worked, not enough to know how a few simple words could change the entire course of your lives.

“I thought they were real, the innocent feelings we had for each other, the deep emotions that I had once interpreted as love and infatuation. I held on to those feelings and the words we said to each other for so long to forget that we had been nothing more than children. Little kids with big dreams.” You looked up to him then, smiling even when you felt your chest tightening. His eyes were sparkling with his unshed tears and you knew that you had your own as well. But you blinked those tears away and forced yourself to remain calm when you continued to speak, “Maybe it’s time to wake up, Taehyung. I’m saying this not only for myself, but for both of us. Those dreams, those promises, they are all in the past. Maybe it’s time for us to move on and make new dreams, new promises, those that we can truly keep and hold on to.”

Taehyung frowned and bowed his head. His shoulders trembled as he took a long, shuddering breath, getting himself together while hiding how defeated he was feeling. But then his face was filled with new determination when he looked at you again.

“I meant every word I said. I’m going to make it up to you, even if—” his voice broke and he stopped himself, shaking his head. “For what it’s worth, I really am sorry about everything, ________. I won’t be able to change the past, and I’ve been a terrible friend. But I promise you that I’ll never turn my back on you. Never again.”

For a moment, you were left at a loss for words. The hollow look in his eyes was something that you had not expected to see, and you had no idea how to react to it when you never truly meant to come here just to give him pain. Despite feeling the guilt in your chest, you simply kept telling yourself that this was for the best, ignoring the voice in your head that was screaming at you, begging you to tell him the truth.

“I’m sorry too, Taehyung. And thank you.”

Three Years Ago…

Taehyung could not exactly remember how he managed to gain the courage to speak to Mina about it. He had spent days and perhaps even weeks mustering all the courage and the confidence he needed, and to figure out what to say to her without making himself look like an awful creep for asking a girl he barely knew to be his model.

When he finally managed to let her know his intention of drawing her, it had taken Mina quite some time to finally come to terms with what he was planning to do and how she was able to help him with it. And right when he had almost given up hope, Mina came back to him and agreed to help. For some reason, she even agreed to come with him and let him show her his hidden lair—the old shed in the back of his house which used to be his Dad’s workshop that he had turned into his private drawing studio.

“How important is it to you? You know, to be able to do this?” Mina asked him then as she browsed through the collection of sketches, the rough drafts of his paintings, either big and small, that had been left scattered on the benches and the massive drawing table from all of his effort to practice his skills.

Taehyung watched her for a moment before shrugging. “It matters a lot to me,” he said, looking away briefly as his thoughts ran through all the reasons why this small hobby of his suddenly became something that was important for him. “I made a promise many years ago and I wanted so badly to keep my word. But I also had a lot of things that I had vowed I would reach before I could fulfil that promise,” he finally admitted with a small voice. He turned to look at Mina again, giving her a wry smile as he continued, “The truth is, if I really want to keep my words and make it all come true, I need to know that I deserve everything that comes with it.”

Mina’s look was unreadable as she took it all in, looking thoughtful as she was considering it silently. She picked up one of the pages torn from his sketchbook which showed a rough drawing of the old tree that he used to climb onto when he was playing with you. “And your sketches will do all of that for you?” she asked then, as she toyed with the piece of drawing in her hand.

Taehyung nodded, feeling his determination slowly growing solid and firm the more he noticed how Mina was taking him seriously instead of putting him down. “This is just a start. If I can prove to myself that I can be better than I am today, and if I can find a way to somehow be successful enough in life through this, then I can finally fulfil my promise.”

Mina was silent for a moment as she kept looking around, listening to him talk about his plan of using this new talent of his as his ticket out of this small town, although he avoided talking about how you were a part of his reasons. Her interest seemed to grow with time, as she kept seeing more and more of Taehyung’s old drawings as she flipped through them nonchalantly.

“Why does it have to be me?”

“It doesn’t necessarily have to be you, really,” Taehyung admitted with a nervous chuckle. He simply couldn’t help but be honest about it. But when Mina turned to him with a questioning look in her eyes, he finally gave in and explained himself more.

He admitted about his past experience where his friends had belittled him for his hobby and interest, when he had talked a lot about drawing everything that he had adored only to have the result that wasn’t quite on-par to how he had intended them to be and everyone just laughed at his face for it. He talked about how long it had taken him to gain back his confidence to be able to try and draw again, and how the traumatic experience had always made his whole body shudder simply by thinking and planning to ask his friends for the favour of becoming his model.

“You are the only person who wasn’t there when it all happened. I figured it would help make me feel less nervous about it when I won’t be seeing those memories when I look at you while I draw your picture,” he said, holding back from telling her that there was another reason why he would be nervous about painting somebody else that he already knew.

Namely you, and the fact that his heart would beat so rapidly that his whole body would tremble whenever he looked at you. Even worse, if you would return his gaze, and he knew that it would be impossible to draw you purposely while being left alone with you in the process.

“Why are you doing all of this on your own? You could’ve taken art classes or special lessons that could help you with this.”

“I just have to,” he said, looking away from her. He had to bite his tongue yet once again, unable to admit the fact that he simply could not afford to take classes or special lessons and it would be impossible for him to share this with his parents when his family was already struggling financially. Yet another reason why he needed this to succeed. He felt the shame burning inside his chest, a feeling that he had kept for quite some time, though his determination to carry on and to keep on trying managed to undermine all his insecurities.

All of a sudden, Mina turned to him, her eyes were sparkling as if an epiphany had just come across her mind. “I think I have an idea,” she said then, smiling for the first time. “We can help each other.”

Taehyung could only sit there in silence, trying to get a read on her as he kept staring at her, until he finally asked, “How?”

Mina seemed to take her time to consider before finally voicing out her ideas carefully. “You wanted to be better, as in you want to do something good and make it so you can get the hell out of this town, right?”

Taehyung slowly nodded. “Yes, that’s true, but—”

“If it has anything to do with art, then I might be able to help you,” she quickly added before Taehyung could say anything. “Well, not me, but I know someone who can.”

Taehyung tilted his head and studied her for a moment. He could already sense that she had something else in mind. Something that was undeniably huge, judging from the way she suddenly appeared so giddy about it and how eager she seemed to be to share it as she grabbed a chair and sat right across from him. Though she waited for him to react first before she would say anything to explain herself. After a beat of a moment, Taehyung finally questioned her, only when his curiosity grew stronger against the warning signs blaring inside his head. “And what do you need from me in return?”

“Well, obviously the ice cream trade that you offered me as payment won’t apply for this one. This is much, much bigger than what you offered me,” she said with a shrug. “But I promise that I’ll still do some modelling for you and let you draw me as much as you want.”

Despite feeling a bit hesitant to know just where this was going, or to allow this to go any further than the original agreement he was about to make with her, he had to admit that he was beginning to feel curious to know more. “Okay, so what is it that you want for me?”

Mina leaned closer then and started to speak really slowly, carefully, as if she was about to share a deep secret. “We both want something, don’t we? And it’s something that we truly need,” she said, as she began proposing her idea. “You need to escape the town, I need to escape my family.”

Taehyung was just about to nod and confirm it before her words finally began to sink in. “Excuse me?”

Mina leaned back in her seat, keeping her arms crossed over her chest when she finally began to share her family secret. Starting from the real reason why she had moved into this town when she had grown up in the big city, about the family inheritance that her parents had come to grab and all the deals that they had made behind her back regarding her future.

“I have to admit that I had put myself on this spot for trying to rebel back when I was still in my old school, but my parents had wanted me to follow their tracks, to continue to run their business once I’m done with school, and they have been refusing to hear what I really want to do in life. They caught me trying to apply for acting school in the States when they suddenly pulled me out of my old school and moved me here so I would be able to stay under my grandparents’ watch until I would finish high school and they would send me off to go to a business school somewhere in Europe.”

“Why would they do something like that?”

Mina exhaled a deep sigh, suddenly looking defeated. “My family is old money. They already had my whole life planned and written down since the day I was born. I won’t even be surprised if they already had my husband chosen for me even before I learned how to speak.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Taehyung said while shaking his head. He simply couldn’t believe that there would still be people like Mina’s family in this time and age that would remain stuck in the old customs, and force their only child to follow such ridiculous rules. But then again, he knew nothing of the riches and their ways, so he made no other comment about it. Though Mina could still sense his displeasure at her situation.

“Tell me about it,” she muttered, rolling her eyes at what she was forced to deal with, before she continued to share everything about her family that Taehyung needed to know as she began to express her proposition for Taehyung and a way out of their situation. “Despite their strictness, my grandparents are fond of art and literature. My grandfather, specifically, is a painter. He has the mind of a business leader, but with a strong passion for his art that is almost just as strong as his will to expand his business and to make sure that the family would continue to thrive. Perhaps—I can introduce you to him and somehow convince him to be your mentor, teach you how to draw and paint personally and have him pass his talent to you. Maybe he can open up some channels for you to continue further, I don’t know.”

“But how are we going to get your grandfather to agree to help me?” Taehyung questioned her after a beat of silence, wondering just how this was going to solve everything for everyone involved.

Surprisingly, all Mina did was shrug. “Easy. We tell them that you’re my boyfriend.”

Taehyung couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculous proposition, but he then stopped himself when he noticed how serious Mina had seemed. “And how is that supposed to help you in this?” he asked her, still not believing that she would actually suggest this idea, even if it would somehow help the two of them. How exactly this was going to make it all happen, he still has yet to figure it out, so he decided to continue to listen.

She nibbled on her lips for a moment, looking a bit unsure before she finally said, “Maybe if my family thinks that I have someone important here that I can’t leave behind then they wouldn’t send me away.”

And with that, Taehyung felt the deepest sympathy for the girl that he had only known for a short period of time and decided to try and help her as long as she knew how to help him in return.

That day, they stayed inside the old shed slash secret studio until the afternoon turned into dusk, both sitting in the corner as they spoke silently about their plans for the near future, how they were about to do things properly from making sure that Taehyung would not only gain the chance to practice his skills and to learn from the expert himself, but also for him to have the opportunity to make his life better through it, while giving the chance for Mina to gain her freedom, despite the fact that it had to come through manipulation and deception.

It had all sounded surreal, but Taehyung felt the hope blooming in his chest the more they talked about it, until the moment you came up in the conversation while Mina brought up the need to keep things between them.

“She can’t know,” she immediately said right the moment Taehyung mentioned about sharing all of this with you, and her sudden reaction sent him reeling back.

“What? What do you mean, I can’t tell her?” he incredulously asked her. “I can’t lie to her. She’s my best friend, I share everything with her. Everything.”

Mina pressed her lips together. “Not this.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” Taehyung challenged her with a frown. “She’s good at keeping secrets. I would know this better than anyone else, we’ve been friends for a long time.”

Mina’s expression hardened for a moment. Taehyung didn’t realise it then, but she clearly had always had a strong reaction to each time he would mention your name. And yet the only thing he noticed then was how worried she was about letting someone else in on their secret. “Yes, but what happens if the truth still comes out?” Mina nearly snapped at him, barely keeping it together with the thought of involving you in this matter. “It needs to be believable, Taehyung. Once we come to them by claiming that we have a relationship, my family will do everything to make sure that it’s true and they will check on our credibility. What if the truth somehow slips out and they find out that we’re lying to them before we get what we want? I’m sorry, but I can’t risk it.”

Taehyung bowed his head as he considered this. A part of him wanted so badly to share this with you, refusing to leave you in the dark, especially when he was doing this all for you. But there was also a part of him that had chosen to admit that he also had the need to keep things to himself.

What if this wouldn’t work? What if the entire plan backfired and everything fell apart?

Not to mention, he couldn’t imagine how your reaction would be if he would let you know the fact that he had been hiding this from you and had let someone else know about what he had been up to.

This is only temporary, he told himself then. Only until I can prove myself to her without me depending on her the way I always had growing up. Only until I can be man enough, and worthy enough to claim her the way I promised her I would.

“Fine,” he finally responded, raising his head to see Mina sighing in relief to have him agreeing to join in her plan. “I won’t tell. Just as long as this works.”

“It will,” Mina firmly said, nodding. “It has to.”

Right before Mina finally left to go home, both of them formed a pact. Promising each other to initiate the ploy as soon as they had the chance to, all for the purpose of reaching their goals.

Ever since that day, Taehyung continued to follow Mina’s lead as they carried on with their scheme, ignoring all the warning signs that kept trying to ward him off. And he remained oblivious, not knowing how the path that he had chosen would only drift him further away from you, and how he would end up being trapped not only within his own web of lies, but also to become the victim of deception and manipulation, as he had willingly stepped foot inside the traps that had been laid out for him, until he realised everything far too late.

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inkedtae · 4 years

Text

rupture; rapture ⇾ kth. [M]

𝓅𝒶𝒾𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔 ⇾ ex-boyfriend!taehyung x reader (f.)

𝑔𝑒𝓃𝓇𝑒/𝓇𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 ⇾ one shot, angst, smut, f2l(?), e2l(?), ex lovers au, rekindled lovers(?), sculptor au, 18+

𝓈𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎 ⇾ responding to a late night call for help forces you to revisit truths you so skillfully ignored. was it always meant to fall apart to fall back into place?

𝓌𝑜𝓇𝒹 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉 ⇾ 13.2k

𝓌𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 ⇾ slight upsetting themes, mentions of a new relationship, mentions of infidelity (tae thinks reader used him to each on her date), vague mention of consuming alcohol, switch!Taehyung, mullet!taehyung, sub!reader, unprotected sex, rough sex, clay/paint/art sex(?), hate-love sex(?), makeup sex(?), size kink, oral (f. receiving), multiple orgasms (f.), creampie, overstimulation, a lil degradation, a lil face-licking, body worshipping, clit worshipping, a lil clit biting, choking, spanking, motorboating, begging, teasing, swearing, breath play, breast play

anon asked: taehyung19angst asghjkll. U have a prompt list ? So for that. Maybe. If u want to. WOW. Ur awesome. The bestest. Okay. Bye. Love. Me.

#19 ⇝ “You said you knew how to do this.”

𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇'𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒 ⇾ i am aware this is supposed to be a drabble but that never seems to be even for taehyung so here’s a one shot instead. also sorry for writing this so late

☾ banner by ⇾ @editingverse (thank you so so so much dear~ please go give her all your love!! this banner is beautiful!!)

☾ beta’d by ⇾ @kkulmoon (luff you, my soulmate crackhead~)

☾ le playlist

◖send me a prompt from dabble drabble. i will try to get to it as soon as i can. please note that i have the right to refuse any request i find uncomfortable.◗

Navigating to the chipped yellow door is second nature. Four months of distance does not change how easy it is for you to find your way to his place from across town. Your most haunting regret, however, is accepting his call. You sat around your apartment for months, fantasizing about how powerful you’d feel when your phone rings and you see his name flash only to decline the call. You told yourself that is how you will regain your dignity, how you will reclaim your life. He’s been a big part of it since freshman year. Best friends instantly, lovers only a year down the line. Clicking that red button, rejecting his apologies is how you believed you’d be able to move on and fully erase him from your life for good.

But, in the midst of a drink with someone else’s company, he calls and you do not refuse. Your heart flips only to fall and shatter in the pit of your stomach. You press the green button without much thought and bring the phone to your ear. He sounds so unsure, so nervous. A relieved sigh you didn’t realize you were holding escapes you. Eyes watering, you whisper his name.

The shame creeps upon you, condescendingly soothing your ego. Where’s your dignity now? It’s as nonexistent as when you stormed out of this very door and swore never to return. You can hear the fates snickering, watching your pathetic self stand outside of the door. Shaking out a shiver, you gather up the scattered pieces of your courage and knock on the door.

The screech of metal on metal echoes as he unlocks the door. The sound is more comforting than you expected it to be. You can’t remember the amount of times you’ve nagged him to replace the damned thing. It’s old, rusted, and the scratches of the metal make you cringe as though your bones are rotting. It used to make your jaw ache, now it only comforts you. Little things already undress your confidence. What will seeing him again do? What emotions will it beckon?

Misery leaks from your bones and into your bloodstream. The door opens to a vision of grace. In his clay-smeared jumpsuit, the sleeves wrapped around his waist and his bare chest exposed, he stares back at you. Though frozen from the winter air, you feel your face grow hot. Eyes shaking, you don’t know where to look. You’re not even sure if you can meet his gaze. It intensifies with every ticking second his long bangs fall over his lashes. He let it grow out? You’ve begged him to do so for months and once you’re apart he finally gives in? You knew he’d look good, maybe even better than his shorter cut.

The sight only confirms that you’ll never understand him. But, you suppose, you don’t have to. He’s not yours to understand anymore, not even as a friend. That statement should give you a sense of relief, but it only resurfaces the loneliness you’ve been ignoring for months.

Shakily sighing, you plaster a polite smile and greet, “Hey Tae.”

Taehyung parts his lips, but his voice catches. He stares back at you, gaze dancing up and down your frame. He drinks in the way your black dress pants hug your curves, and how you dare to wear a tube-top under your coat in the freezing weather. Gulping, Taehyung flashes you a kind, tight lipped smile and moves aside to welcome you in. His chain looped earring dangles with his movements. It’s such a simple antic, but you cannot fight off the familiar comfort in your chest upon catching it.

Each step back into his apartment fogs your mind with memories of joy and despair alike. Sometimes, those emotions rise in tandem during the same memory, within the same five minute time span. But other times, those memories are saturated with one emotion or the other. You two could never find that balance; not as lovers anyway, not as you thought.

“Make yourself at hom-” he cuts himself off just as the door shuts.

You turn to face him, raising a brow at his slip up. Funny how things circle back no matter how much either of you try to suppress them. This place has always felt like home to you. In fact, revisiting it proves that it still does. He just never let you make it official.

The gloom of four months ago has followed you back in here as well, it would seem. You gulp down the little scratch in your throat and try your best to flash a smile. His brows raise at the gesture. You assume a teeth braced wince paints your features instead.

Clearing his throat, Taehyung corrects himself, “Comfortable. Make yourself comfortable. I’ll grab you a hot drink to warm you up.” His gaze shifts to the slanted window over his little studio sectioned in the corner of his apartment. “It’s really coming down out there.”

Setting your clutch down on his work table, you nod. He glares at your action before looking back at you. You are fully aware of his distaste for you to dump your things near his work, even if it happens to be your own sculpting supplies. However, he distrubed your date tonight and that little slip up of his recalls more anger than you care to accept right now. Playing into his pet peeves is the very least you can do to show him that you’re not here for anything else but fixing his sculpture.

With a pleasant smile plastered on your lips, you peel your jacket off and set it down on the table as well. Taehyung sarcastically smirks then makes his way to the kitchen. You know you shouldn’t but you let your eyes linger on his frame and follow him around the kitchen while he prepares something for you. His shoulder blades flex as he reaches for a mug from the top shelf - a detail you always found makes you anxious because the cups can easily slip out of his hand from such a height and break.

He must feel your gaze as he glances back at you. “You must be freezing,” he comments.

Looking down at your half top, you shrug. “Not really. That’s what a jacket is for.” You shouldn’t sass. It always gets on his nerves. But, the way he regards you with such tamed hostility and smirks all knowingly, switches something in you. You cannot hold yourself back and he cannot expect to call you over here in the dead of night for help only to glare and sneer at you.

Out of sheer spite, you sit on one of the stools by the table and bend down to untie your thick heeled boots. He absolutely hates this. Sloppy and messy, is what he tells you when you come into the apartment with your shoes on and take them off near his studio. Taehyung stirs the contents of your mug, tossing daggers at you in his stares.

It is only now, in the thick silence, do you hear the soft voice of Sinatra through the vinyl player. Glancing over at the source, you recognize the album cover immediately. It’s the same one you gifted him for his birthday last year. His next one is in a couple of weeks. The realization unexpectedly twinges your heart with guilt. You feel as though you should have already bought his gift, and planned his party. It’s not your responsibility to do that anymore, but you want to and that’s enough for your tongue to coat with disgusted remorse.

“Want me to get you a sweater?” Taehyung asks.

You sit up straight at the close sound of his voice. He stands in front of you with the mug in his hands, glaring down at your boots. Kicking them off by the heel, you stare down at the puddle you’ve made beneath the chair. You should apologize but, instead, you thank him for the drink, take it from his hands, and make your way to the project he’s been working on. He mutters curses under his breath before cleaning up the mess you’ve made… As he should.

You smirk into your cup before taking a sip. Hot chocolate. It’s all he can make, or cares to make. And though it is not your favourite drink, he still prepares it to your specifications. Extra sweet and creamy, with a dash of ginger. Could the habits of your past be muscle memory he cannot shake either?

The answer never arrives as your thoughts halt at the sight of his sculpture. Though returned back onto its pedestal, the torso seems to have endured a terrible fall. He’s so careful about things like this. How could he have let it happen? Was the inner wiring he used too heavy? Did he not use enough slip, otherwise known as wet clay, to keep additions in place?

You bite the inside of your cheeks to school your features. Still, there is no hiding the truth. Especially when it’s right in front of you. Redemption is nonexistent. The sculpture is ruined. Tilting your head, you stare at the unfinished molding and try to figure out how to fix it without adding more clay, since he claimed on the phone that he doesn’t have enough to start over.

“Well?” He asks behind you.

Looking back at him, you take another sip then hand him the cup to hold. Taehyung accepts it, bringing the mug to his lips. The gesture is so simple, so casual that you almost miss it. He did it a lot when you two were together. You did it too. It was never a pet peeve but rather something you were proud of. It proved how close you two were, how well you meshed. Sharing food is common between lovers. Only now, that’s not at all what you are.

You stare at him, mouth gape. He licks his lips before taking another sip. The action repairs your heart only for your reality to wreck it all over again. Catching your eye, he raises his brows in confusion. You flicker your gaze between him and the cup, hoping the silent gesture is enough to return his senses.

Eyes widening, he holds the cup away from his face. “Oh,” he hums under his breath. “I’ll, uh, get you a new one.”

“Don’t bother,” you shrug before he can even turn towards the kitchen. “It’s not that big a deal.”

It is. You’re not his and neither is that hot chocolate. He should know better. He should pay attention more. He can see this all in your eyes as you continue to silently judge him. It’s not that big a deal, you repeat to yourself. The way his large eyes soften, the way he pouts is not that big a deal. You have a job to do, feelings to ignore, and a person to never see again. All you have to do is remold the clay and be on your way.

Finally returning your attention to the sculpture, you approach it while pulling your hair back. It’s rather large since he scaled it to be life-sized, so you assume he has some structural wiring in there to keep it in place when molding. You might have to take it out and remold the entire section. But maybe you can simply push the wiring back in place? However, if your theory about the wiring being too heavy is correct, you might face another smash to the floor. So it seems easier to just pull it all out.

“Is the clay still wet?” You ask before poking the shoulder.

It’s tacky, but that’s not enough to keep it from drying. You scan the room for the spray bottle, finding it behind you. Being a sculptor yourself, you know that the clay has to stay wet enough to be able to continue to add and mold it. Your scan of the room reflects that he is close to finishing the project. He has the muse’s head and arms wrapped in air-tight bags to keep them from drying. They just need to be slipped, slid, and smoothed into place. The details also need to be added, but for the most part, he’s just about done.

“If you’re gonna figure it out yourself, why did you ask me?” He sighs as he sets the mug down near a cup of paint water.

His tone is uncalled for. Nothing seems to have changed. He still has a temper and makes no effort to readjust his attitude. You toss him a glare over your shoulder. After spraying some water over the sculpture, you start to dig your fingers into the molding. Taehyung sucks in a sharp breath behind you. You can’t blame him for such a reaction. It must be very disturbing to watch someone else dig through your hard work.

You take off the clay bit by bit, looking for the metal structure wires he must’ve used to keep it all shaped well. However, as you place another chunk on the table, you begin to realize that the sculpture is not hollow, meaning wires have not been used. He simply ventilated the slab of clay to help air bubbles escape when it comes time to fire it.

Furrowing your brows, you look over at him in confusion. He leans back against his work table with his arms crossed over his chest, staring at you. Is this a joke? He doesn’t need your help. He could’ve dug through the smushed clay and remorphed it himself. He’s more experienced than you are; he should’ve known this.

Your anger begins to fester in your chest. He must’ve heard. You still share some mutual friends, so he must’ve heard down the line that you were going out with somebody else tonight. Your outfit of choice is a clear indicator as well. He found out about your date, your first date in the last four months you’ve been broken up, and just needed to ruin it for you. Fuck, you can’t believe you seriously bought his lies again. It’s that stupid voice of his. So deep and soulful, you can never resist it’s lulling temptations.

“What?” Taehyung pushes himself off the table and walks towards you. “You’re pouting like you always do just before you’re about to shout. Is it that bad?”

Is that what he’s doing now? He’s trying to remind you how well he knows you, how well he can read you? If this is just another reminder that no one is like him, you just might prove him right and scream out of frustration. Huffing, you roll your eyes at him. No matter how much your heart flips and flutters at his concern, you will not fall for his stupid games.

He watches in confusion as you clean your hands off with a cloth. “God, (Y/N), what is it? I thought you said you knew how to do this.”

With a dry chuckle, you shake your head and mumble, “You’re still the same liar you’ve always been, Taehyung.”

The perplexed sculptor narrows his eyes. “What did I tell you about mumbling?” He questions in a grumble. “And what the hell are you going on about anyways?”

His tendency to be a walking contradiction will never cease to irk you. He tells you not to mumble then does it himself. Just another pet peeve he’s instilled in you that you can never shake. Then there’s the continuous lies he can never seem to stop telling. For once, why can’t he just be honest?

You toss the dirty cloth at him and make your way to his precious work table only to find that he moved your things to the chair by the door. You rush in that direction instead, and Taehyung follows not too far behind. “I can’t believe you’re still pulling this shit even when it’s over,” you scoff with a shake of your head. “You made it seem like you had no idea what to do. You guilted me into coming back here and for what? To ruin the first night I stopped thinking about you? Well, congratulations,” you drily chuckle as you grab your clutch and turn to face him. “You’ve ruined my night and my date.”

Taehyung pauses mid stride. “Oh,” he rasps, eyes roaming over your body once more. “You had a date tonight?”

Eyes wide, softened, and wet, his next words catch in his throat. All you can make out is a quiet rasp. It’s a convincing act, but you know him well enough to spot his feigned innocence from a mile away. Setting your jaw, you shake your head and sigh, “Not any more.”

You reach for your jacket, but Taehyung is quicker. He snatches it first and holds it behind him. You open your mouth to curse at him when he rushes to say, “Wait, wait.” Hand on your waist, he holds you still.

You freeze under his palm. He’s barely used much force. It’s the simple touch itself that sends you into a trance. The memories of being pinned beneath him, or guided into grinding against his hips rush back to you. Breath hitching, you try to wipe the affection from your features. The searching look in his eyes tells you how bad of a job you’re doing.

“I could fix it myself, but not by myself,” he clarifies. “I just didn’t know how to get you here without making it seem like it’s a complete disaster. Be honest, (Y/N), if I told you I wanted you to sculpt with me you wouldn’t have shown up.”

Be honest. When the fuck have you ever lied to him? The question is tempting to ask, sitting right on the tip of your tongue actually, but you can already tell that you’ve made your annoyance known as concern swims in his eyes. He’s trying to find where he went wrong in his explanation. He’s never done that before. He never notices your discomfort during a fight, but always after the fact. That’s enough to have you consider his explanation, to consider the fact that maybe he has not changed completely, but he’s trying. Perhaps you should start trying too.

Besides, he’s not wrong. If he didn’t make it seem like it was irreversible, you wouldn’t have accepted the invitation over or even thought about ditching your date. Chewing on your lip, you sigh and nod. “Fine, I’ll help you fix it.”

A relieved smile plays on his lips. He removes his hand from your waist, muttering a quiet apology then returns your jacket onto the chair. You set your clutch down on there as well, nowhere near his work, and follow him back to the sculpture. He sprays it down as you take another couple of sips from your hot chocolate.

“When is this due?” You ask as you set the mug down.

Taehyung’s gaze shakes. “At nine,” he reluctantly replies. He sets the spray bottle down. You stare at him in confusion.

The time is both seemingly vague and specific. You furrow your brows, blinking rapidly in hopes that you can reprocess the information for more clarity. When that doesn’t work, you ask, “Tonight?”

“Tomorrow morning.”

Thirteen hours? That’s all you two have to remold and detail a life-sized sculpture. This information alone would’ve had you running to help as well. Why didn’t he just tell you this? Why did he have to lie? No, nevermind his lies. You both have thirteen hours to remold the base, attach the head and arms, and add all the details on all four pieces. It may seem like a lot of time but you also have to let the clay sit for a few hours before firing. However, with a sculpture this large, it might need at least three days to dry. How did he expect to finish the rest on his own?

Nothing is adding up. You know Taehyung very well. You’ve shared sculpting classes countless times. His work comes first; always. He sketches and prepares months in advance for a project since the clay can crack or explode during its bake. How could he not have done the same thing here? He should’ve started this at least four months ago… oh.

Taehyung spares you a nervous glance. He can see the realization of his own reality in your eyes. You swallow thickly, knowing you should just pretend that you haven’t noticed anything. Still, you say, “Tae, we both know that’s not enough time. Even if we split the work, it still needs-”

“Don’t worry about that,” he mumbles. His hands smooth over every chunk of clay he reapplies. “Let’s just piece it all together, okay?”

There is a lot you have to force yourself to ignore in his words and tone. He mumbles orders, and expects you to follow. His voice is deep and cold. He gives you his back while he speaks. It’s but another pet peeve of his that makes you want to pull your own hair out. However, most of all, you have to force yourself to ignore how painful it is. Seeing him again, only an arm’s length away, crumbles your anger and hearing his voice reminds you that he still holds every bit of your heart. You have to blink your tears back at the realization. This idea reeked the moment you considered it. But, you can never stop yourself when it comes to him. A year of friendship and two of love; how can you forget all of that in four months?

Taehyung turns to you, his eyes trailing up from your hips to your chest where they linger. Flickering his gaze back up to yours, he offers a tight-lipped smile. You fail to find it in you to return it. He sighs. Hands by his side, voice heavy with sincerity, he says, “I won’t force you to stay, babe- (Y/N).” His slip up has him frozen in place as well. Clearing his throat, he continues, “I need to get this done and you’re the only other person I know who knows how I like it.”

The familiar pet name gives you pause, but the end of that sentence has you hot all over. Your eyes widen at the alternate implication of his words and you can’t help but choke on your next intake of air.

Taehyung’s expression mirrors yours. Face reddening, he’s quick to correct himself. “No, no, I just mean artistically.”

You cannot find the words to say something, anything to make this situation better. Lips parted, all you can voice are quiet croaks of uncertainty. His large eyes, wide with anxiety, watch you carefully. He’s clearly unsure of how else to soothe your discomfort. He goes to say something else but the words fall short. The scene has your skin crawling with shivers. Shaking your head, you walk around him to smooth out the clay he remolded.

“I’ll fix her waist. I think you should get started on the details,” you say, hoping his words can just fizzle away along with the awkward silence that has fallen over the both of you.

Taehyung takes a deep breath. His eyes remain trained on you for a moment, watching as you match the sculpture’s left side to her right. Then, he circles around you and makes his way to his work table.

Though you should be focused on your work, you still have one eye on Taehyung. The jumpsuit sits low on his hips, and his back is bare of any scratches. Your lasting desire to mark up the blank canvas of his back tightens your core. You can feel your black pants dampening at the thought alone. Your hand gently presses into the mold, smoothing out every piece you add.

With Sinatra’s calm voice circling around the room, you and Taehyung fall into a comfortable silence. The rhythm of your actions, the way you move around each other is like muscle memory. You can subconsciously anticipate the other’s next move and react accordingly. He hands you tools before you need to ask and you accept them without a second thought. It’s easy, comfortable, and so familiar that you almost forget he ruined your plans tonight.

Taking a step back, you wipe your wrist over your brow then assess your work. You’ve been trying to sculpt one of the figure’s breasts, adding clay and rounding out the mold. However, it seems like you’ve undershot a bit and made one mound a bit smaller than the other. You sigh and reach for more clay when Taehyung interjects.

“Leave it,” he says from his place beside you.

When did he step back too? He was just detailing one of the sculpture’s hands. “They’re uneven,” you point.

He smirks. “I like them that way.”

His eyes flicker to your chest again before meeting your gaze once more. You shouldn’t look into that gesture too much, but you do. He can’t say something like that, stare at your breasts suggestively and think you wouldn’t notice. Unless, he wants you to notice. You start to wonder how often he’s thought about your breasts and why he feels the need to incorporate them into his project.

While you remain standing in your place, Taehyung returns to his crouched position and continues his work. You can’t bring yourself to move just yet. You stare at the sculpture, at the curve of her stomach and dip of her waist. She’s full-figured and even has stretch marks on her hips, well the side that has not met the floor still has stretch marks. You need to add them on the other side. But, the shape of her body just looks all too familiar.

No, no, it can’t be. He didn’t sculpt your naked body entirely from memory. And why should he? You’re not a couple and he’s made it clear during those four months of silence that he doesn’t want anything to do with you either. No, this is merely just some consequence. You sigh and get back to work. Those thoughts completely boarded shut out of your mind.

“Were you having fun?” He suddenly asks, standing up to start detailing the sculpture’s breasts.

You glance up at him, about to ask what he means when you remember the date. “Oh,” you hum. You’re not sure how much to tell him, or if you should even entertain him with an answer at all. He’s obviously still affected by the break up if he let it get in the way of his project timeline. What was your date’s name anyway? Morgan, Mac, Mark- Mark! Yes, it was Mark something or maybe something Mark. Fuck, you can’t even remember his name. You’re not even sure where you met up for drinks.

Taehyung pauses his sculpting around the figure’s nipple. He chances a quick look at you, raising a brow. “That bad?” He teases with a playful smile.

His light-hearted tone shocks you out of your thoughts. Maybe you read the situation wrong. Maybe he is over you. Otherwise, why would he ask you about your date so casually, like you two were friends? Or maybe… he’s seeing someone else himself? Sumni did ask for your permission to date him. She was so kind and understanding in her questioning that you couldn’t refuse her. Even if it was a week ago, she would have already talked to him by now and they could’ve already gone on their own date. The sheer thought of Taehyung dating around makes your throat tighten and stomach ache.

“I didn’t stay long enough to make up my mind,” you reply, trying your best not to mumble. Your voice is small though, and tone shot by misery. A wave of hopelessness washes over you at how final everything between you and him feels again. “I don’t think he’s for me though.”

Taehyung hums in acknowledgment or understanding? You don’t know. You can’t pull yourself out of your self pity long enough to decipher it. “Poor guy,” he mutters as he picks up where he left off on the sculpture’s breast.

You carve uneven lines on the figure’s hips, recreating some stretch marks like he had done to the other side. Raising your brows, you question, “What is that supposed to mean?”

He shrugs a single shoulder. “I just know what it’s like to lose someone as great as you,” he explains in a near whisper. “The poor guy is gonna lose his mind.”

Tears sting your eyes. He can’t do this. He can’t guilt you for leaving him, not when you both know that it’s just as much his fault as it is yours. Still, even in the midst of pain, the kindness laced in his words tugs the corners of your lips into a small smile. Is that what happened to him? Did this poor guy, this poor little sculptor lose his mind when he lost you?

You toss him a sidelong glance, whispering, “He’ll survive.”

“He can only pray to.”

What is this? What is he trying to say? So he regrets the way that things ended, perhaps even that they ended entirely. Does he think you don’t? Nothing can change how you feel for him. Nothing can hide how badly you wish you can still call him your own. But, he said it himself. He does not want you around, in such close proximity to him anymore. Two years into, what you thought was, a serious relationship and he does not want you living with him.

“I’ll grow tired of us,” he said. Or does he not remember? Did he forget how he promised he’d get you a key, or help you pack? Did he forget how high he got your hopes? Has the fear of getting bored of your company finally withered away?

What does it even matter now? You both said things you haven’t even attempted to take back. Not a single apology has been issued either. Whatever relationship you once had is gone. You can never get it back. Still, you don’t have the stomach to break it to him. You can’t destroy the last little bit of hope he has in you. You can’t find it in you to tell him that no amount of prayer will get you to willingly return to such a relationship.

“He hasn’t been in my company for too long to miss me. Actually, I’m worried he’s already grown tired of it,” you reply. Guilt immediately sheds your pettiness. You know you shouldn’t have said that. Though, he did egg you on. How could he have expected to bring up such a subject and think that you wouldn’t retaliate?

Taehyung tenses and shifts his jaw, giving the impression that he’s chewing gum, and turns to glare at you. From experience alone, you know very well that when Taehyung chews on his imaginary piece of gum, he’s either cocky, pissed or both. This time he has tears glassing over his eyes. Shame cringes your heart. You can’t bring yourself to look at him again. Getting even does not feel as dignifying as you thought it would. You cannot even find a shred of pleasure in seeing him so speechless.

Parting your lips, you try to soothe the sting of your words, only they all fall short. Every time you try to recollect them, they wither away. It’s almost like your mind is warning you from worsening the situation. But the silence is deafening. Sinatra's voice cannot even fill it. His disappointment is too loud; the shattering of his heart like an explosion. And your pain can never shut up. All you can hear is how miserable your soul is and how depressed your heart becomes upon every glance his way. It’s the soft look in his eyes, even when he’s glaring, and the little scrunch of his nose.

With a deep breath, you turn back to the sculpture to keep your hands busy. As you use the pad of your pinkie to smoothen out the stretch mark lines you’ve carved, you say, “We had a drink. That’s as far as we got.”

Taehyung clears his throat. His hands pick up where they left off around the nipple. “Had I known you were out, I wouldn’t have called,” he sighs.

You try not to scoff, particularly because he sounds surprisingly sincere. Sneaking a glance up at him from your squatting position on the floor, you try to search for his usual tell-tale signs. He always blinks one too many times in the same two minute span when he’s lying, that’s if he’ll even meet your gaze. He’s already looking at you when you begin to search his features. He holds your stare and you start to worry that you wrongfully cursed him before when you were convinced that he knew.

“You really didn’t know?”

He shakes his head. “Why would anyone tell me you’re going on a date?”

“Why wouldn’t they?”

“Would you want to hear that I have been on one?”

“Have you?”

Internally cringing, you snap your attention back on the sculpture. The question simply slipped out. He must know that. Of course you’re curious about his love life since you’ve left it, but you don’t need him to know that. And even if he was prying into your date tonight, you still don’t feel comfortable with him knowing that you’ve been wondering about him too, worrying that he’s found the love of his life and forgotten all about you.

Taehyung chuckles. “Do you really want to know?”

Three? Four? Five? How many dates did he have to go on to be able to ask such a question? You hold your breath the moment you feel your next intake waver. Running your tongue between the gaps of your teeth, you stand up and begin detailing the left breast.

“I’m not going to beg you,” you grumble under your breath while sculpting the nipple. Your eyes shift from the one you're working on to the one he perfected, making sure they’re at least even.

“Never had a problem with that before.”

He does not mutter it. He does not whisper it. He chuckles through the statement, cockiness dripping from his tone. Shooting him a glare, you find his jaw moving, the imaginary gum returning. Taehyung smirks at you, eyes dancing over your features like he’s figured you all out.

You raise your brows at him, lips slightly parted by a little smile. “Once again, Taehyung, your memory has miserably failed you,” you start only to widen his grin.

“How so?”

“You’ve been on your knees far more times than I’ve been on mine. You’ve whined louder too.”

He leans in, wrist against his stomach as he lets out a hearty laugh. You feel a rush of your arousal pool at your core just from the simple sound. Face growing hot, you realize how much you’ve missed this, missed him. He always laughed with his whole body, clutching onto you when clutching on his stomach never granted him any stability. Sometimes he’d brace his teeth in a boxy smile and let out his deep chuckles that way. So endearing, so cute, Taehyung would always loop you in his laughing fit as well.

Biting on the sides of your cheeks, you keep yourself from joining in this time. “Why is that so funny?”

Taehyung shakes his head at you as his laughter dies down. With a smile still gracing his features, he replies, “You’re always begging for me. Oh, I remember once you were on the table and you won’t let go of me and until I, and I quote, ‘rammed into you with the force of a thousand waterfalls.’”

Shit. You remember that day all too clearly. Taehyung had been painting and you were somewhere in the kitchen sketching his hands from a distance since he would always tease you about that. Somehow you found out he’d been painting you nude from memory and wanted to help him out. You began stripping for him, inching closer with every piece of clothing you shed. He watched you draw closer to him, and there was something about the way his eyes drank you in that you could not shake. It just made you giddy all over, dripping for his love by the time you were fully naked and within his reach. You were so horny, you said anything to make sure he ruined you.

Avoiding his eye, you reluctantly reply, “I do not recall.”

That statement tips him off immediately. His endearing innocence darkens; you don’t even need to look over to witness it happen. You can feel it. You can feel his demeanour change. Taehyung sets whatever tool he’s using down and towers over you. Stilling in place, you let him graze the bridge of his nose in your hair.

“Do you want me to remind you,” he whispers before pressing his lips to your ear, adding, “my muse?”

Knees all but trembling, you have to remind yourself to keep your eyes open. His warm breath fans over your skin, prickling goosebumps all over. His fingertips brush up the length of your spine, streaking your back with clay and leaving a chain of shiver in their wake. Then there’s that little pet name. Your soul shudders to hear it again while your core waters.

What does he even mean? How far is he willing to go to remind you how badly you wanted him?

Breath shaky, you gingerly meet his gaze. Noses brushing, you try to ignore how good he smells. His scent is always a cross between chalky clay and citrusy cherries. A whine threatens to slip out and you have to swallow thickly just to silence it. “You can try,” you whisper only to feel his hands on your hips.

The grey clay stains the hem of your black pants and a majority of your skin. Taehyung turns you towards him then presses himself against you. His semi-hard rubs against your stomach, making him groan. Seems like he’s falling apart faster than you are. Did he miss this too? Miss the way you smell, the way it feels to be near you again?

You rest your arms on his shoulders and he guides you around and back to his work table. It’s almost like a little dance, with the quiet music still playing in the background. Faces only a breath apart, the temptation to kiss him only grows. But giving in would only prove him right. After so many months, you cannot grant him this victory of being right, especially since he was the one in the wrong when you left.

When the back of your thighs meet the edge of the table, Taehyung shifts his hands down to your ass, gripping tightly and he lifts you up against him and onto the table. You have to choke back a moan just from the rough grip. Your lips brush against each other’s, but neither one of you is willing to bite the bullet first.

“Any of this familiar yet?” Taehyung asks. His voice is almost an octave deeper, saturated in lust and desire.

Smirking, you shake your head.

Taehyung tongues his cheek and cocks a brow. He leans back a bit, hands circling around your waist to rest on your thick thighs. His cocky grin widens as he pushes them further apart. One of his hands shifts up to your crotch, thumb grazing the seams. Face lighting up, Taehyung glances down at your crotch and brushes over it once more.

“No panites?” He questions with a chuckle. “This is looking more and more like that night then I thought it would.”

The confidence he oozes should annoy you, but you find yourself only spreading your legs further for him. Whenever he’s acting this egotistic, you cannot help but respond to it by giving yourself to him. This is a fact he knows well and uses to his advantage any time he’s ever felt like it.

You try to keep your wits about you, saying, “I wouldn’t know.”

Taehyung suddenly leans in. Your breath hitches at the realization that he’s swallowing his pride, that he’s finally going to kiss you. You’ve been dreaming about his lips for months, wondering how you’d be able to find someone else who just fits ever so perfectly against your lips. Eyes fluttering closed, lips in a faint pucker, you’ve inhaled deeply only to have him kiss your chin. He chuckles quietly against your skin, licking his way to your jawline all while leaving you breathless.

“You’re about to,” he growls.

As your body is in the midst of reacting, he somehow digs his nails into the seams of your pants and tears them apart. You gasp, shifting your hands from his shoulder to the edge of the table. You cannot help but stare down at the tear in amazement. Questions on how and why die in your throat when you find that Taehyung’s attention is not even on you anymore. He’s tightening his grip on your thighs and gazes down at your pussy. It pulses under his gaze, much to his own amazement.

Squatting down, he licks his lips at this new angle. “Well, fuck,” he whispers. “How long have you needed me?”

Four months, you wish you had the courage to say. Instead you breathlessly reply, “I’m not sure this is what happened that night.”

“How would you know? I thought you didn’t remember.”

He’s only teasing but his tone is accusatory. You already know it’s because you’ve refused to answer his previous question. And your decision to talk back only adds to his shift in demeanour. Once cheeky, his features darken into something closer to vexation. You’ve pushed the wrong buttons it would seem.

Narrowing his eyes, he orders, “Tell me, my muse. Tell me how long you’ve been needing me.”

You suck in a sharp breath. Pressing your lips together in a fine line, you refuse to make another sound, let alone utter another word. You’ll be damned if you have to admit that you regret walking away, that you cannot even remember the details of your date because all you could think about was everything he would do differently. Having to admit that for the last four months all you’ve been able to do is touch yourself to the thought of him or cry wouldn’t just be motifying but shameful and pathetic.

With a slow nod, Taehyung sighs. You think this is it. He’s ripped your pants apart, looked at every inch of your barest part, and teased you all for nothing. You’d maybe ask to borrow some pants, and he might give you some. But, other than that, nothing would’ve come from this interaction. The flirty comments and knowing looks would disappear with your relationship, this you feel you are sure of.

Then, he plays against your expectations; something you should have expected. Just when you’re about to bring your legs together, Taehyung spreads them apart further and shoves his face between them. He cannot use his hands there since they are covered in clay and, it seems, he also refuses to use his tongue. You cannot hold back the moans that pour out of you with every ministration. Merely smearing his face into your heat, Taehyung teases your clit. The bridge of his nose trails between your folds, lips pressing wet kisses to your tightening hole. From left to right, he shakes his face against your pussy.

You buck your hips against his lips, lacking shame and restraint. “Tae,” you moan, voice breaking.

Taehyung pulls away. Heaving and eyes half-lidded, he smirks up at you. He’s drenched in your arousal, looking like the cat who got the cream. “How long?” He mewls.

“Gimme your tongue,” you whine.

Taehyung mockly pouts up at you. He always looks prettiest on his knees, pretending to be in charge from such a degrading position. “Would you tell me then, babe?”

Your hips inadvertently roll at the pet name. You love it when he babies you like that, when he makes you feel so precious and fragile even though you both know you can rule over anything you want. Hesitantly, you nod. He raises a brow, waiting for verbal confirmation that you’ll tell him once he gives you his tongue.

With a little shrug of a single shoulder, you reply, “Why don’t you give it a try, TaeTae.”

His left eye twitches. You know exactly how that name affects him. His anger and powerful demeanor tremble when you dwell on him like that. He doesn’t need to tell you that he’s suddenly yours to overtake; his large eyes do the trick.

Swiping his tongue over his lips, Taehyung cleans his mouth from you. One little taste and his pupils expand, blown by lust and hunger. You don’t have to waste anymore time convincing him that you’d answer his question if he goes down on you. Your taste seems to be enough of a factor, in itself. He dips his head back in, tongue out this time. The tip pushes through your hole, lapping up your pooling juices. Leaning back on your hands, you gasp a loud moan. He knows his way around so well. One flick up, and your toes are curling. No amount of time apart has disturbed his memory of you. This may have been something you noticed while sculpting but now you can feel it. Tongue in and out, warm and wet, Taehyung explores your pussy like it’s his first time, only he knows everything about it.

You want to tangle your fingers in his hair, to see how the long strands feel in your hand, but they’re covered in clay too. And you know from experience just how hard it is to get clay out of hair. Once it completely dries, it almost seems like the only other option is to cut it all out. So, instead, you just dig your nails into the table, engraving your presence in the wood.

Rolling your hips into his face, you cry out your pleasure. Your legs are shaking, squeezing around his face, but he can’t seem to care any less. In fact, judging by his groans and growls, he seems to love the suffocation. He even pushes your legs further against his cheeks. Freezing in place, Taehyung only allows his tongue to continue to swirl around your pussy. His fingers harshly press into your thighs, sure to leave bruises, but you don’t care. Having him mark you up just like when you were together, is enough to make your eyes roll back.

You’re so, so close. Pussy clenching, his tongue still pushes its way in. He’s determined to see you through, to have you unfold right in his hands so hard that he still won’t breathe. And though you start to worry a bit, you cannot really pay attention to anything else besides the pleasure.

“Oh, Tae,” you cry. Voice breathy and high-pitched, it’s only a matter of time before-

It hits you hard, fast, and completely off guard. You have felt it growing and knotting in the pit of your stomach, but have no idea it would rush at you this harshly that you completely fall back on the table. Body convulsing, you scream and cream all over his tongue, mouth, and chin. His entire face will smell like you for days.

Taehyung forces your tightening legs apart, gasping for air. Gazing up at you, he sticks his tongue out and against your clit. He’s determined to help you ride out your high and nods his head up and down. You watch him through blurry vision, shamelessly rocking your hips up to meet him halfway. Or, at least you try to. Soon, you become all too sensitive to even hold his gaze, let alone grind against his tongue.

You fight against his hold on your legs, whining loudly. “Okay, okay,” you gasp as you try to seat yourself up.

He doesn’t care. That once yielding look in his eyes flashes into a demanding one. Seeing you so helpless under him shocks him with power once again. “One more time,” he pants against your heat.

“TaeTae,” you mewl, attempting to manipulate your way out of this overstimulated feast.

However, the use of the name this time, only spurs him on. He knows what you’re trying to do and doesn’t at all find it amusing. This time when he repeats his words, he growls, “One more time!”

Lips suctioning around your clit, he harshly sucks. Slurping and swallowing everything you have to offer, Taehyung holds your gaze. You’re a trembling mess. Tears falling freely down your face, you curse him three times over and buck your hips against his mouth. He finds the entire sight so humorous, he can’t help but smirk.

You’re still his little toy, a play thing for him to fool around with and test out some kinks on. The realization should make you curse him again and again, but you can only play into it. Pouting and mewling, you’ve fully sold yourself out just so Taehyung is well fed with your juices.

This is the peak of his games, you think. This is as far as he will go and you expect that you’ll cum in another minute or so. But then his teeth graze your clit once, twice, three times. You come undone within seconds. Arching your back, you let out the neediest cry you’ve ever heard and pathetically cum against his chin. The shudders and shivers of your body are beyond your control, as is your broken voice and any lasting grip you thought you had on reality.

As if biting and sucking your clit isn’t mindbreaking enough, Taehyung dips his tongue back in you to sneak another taste. “Taehyung, please,” you beg. “Please!”

He finally lets up, removing his face from your sopping heat and releasing his hold on your legs. You instantly bring them together and hug them into your chest. Heaving and shedding your last few tears, you try to recompose yourself and the silent atmosphere you once shared while sculpting.

“Strange,” he starts, returning to his feet. He takes his hands in yours, slowly unwrapping the hug you’ve cocooned yourself in. “It sounds a lot like that night. But, that’s not at all what I was doing then to make you this needy.”

To anyone else, you would've looked fucked out and completely ruined. But Taehyung knows that’s not at all the case. He has tested your stamina enough to know that you can most likely go for another round or two. Pulling your legs apart, he stands between them then helps sit you back up.

Faces inches away, you exchange breaths. “How long have you been this needy, my muse?” He asks again.

He really does smell like you. His cheeks, nose, chin, and lips are smeared with your cum. It doesn’t even look like he was feasting. It almost looks like he just wanted to cover his face with your juices. Gulping, you consider his question. You did insinuate that you’d answer the question if he gave you his tongue. And, holy fuck, did he give it to you. However, an insinuation is not a promise. He made that clear during your last argument.

“I don’t remember promising anything,” you whisper in a light pant.

The pain in his eyes cannot be neither mistaken nor missed. Echoing his words all these months later, surely recalls suppressed emotions of misery and betrayal for the both of you. He sneers a smirk, glaring at your lips. “Your memory has failed you,” he hisses. Gripping onto your hips, marking you there with bruises as well, he adds, “But, I won’t.”

“Not again, anyway.”

You sound colder than he does which causes him to hesitate for a moment. His hands fall by his sides as he searches your face for some sort of confirmation to continue. He almost seems like he’s not sure if he really wants to pick up where he left off too, seeing that you’re still upset with him. The guilt of seeing him so fragile and wounded eats away the majority of your anger. But, if he thinks he’s the only one struggling to make sense of this break up, he’s wrong.

Right now, the only way you can think of showing that to him is by first displaying your eagerness to continue in this sexual stroll down memory lane. You lean forward, brushing the tip of your nose against his, and reach down to his crotch. The dent in his jumpsuit throbs in your hand. His hard cock all but pulses under your palm as you rub at it. His breath hitches. You then untie the sleeves of his jumpsuit and watch carefully as his cock comes back into view. Fuck, you’ve forgotten just how pretty it is when it’s all pink tipped and desperate to be pumped. He shifts a bit, you assume to step out of the jumpsuit, and resettles his hands back on your waist.

Not another moment of uncertainty stands between you anymore. Swallowing his pride, Taehyung kisses you first. Lips on lips, the taste of yourself on his tongue has you moaning already. He seems to take this as a sign to let himself go as well. He pulls you closer to the edge of the table and rolls his hips into yours. The length of his dick rubs between your folds, but he doesn’t enter. Not yet. He simply teases the idea of entering, of ruining you.

But, you’re too overstimulated to enjoy it in its entirety. Your legs resume their little shudders at the tiniest bit of friction when his cock just happens to brush against your clit. Taehyung, upon noticing this, makes sure to touch it with every new grind against you. He smirks when you whimper into his mouth and chuckles a bit when you break the kiss to whine his name.

“What is it, baby,” he coos. He grounds his hips harder into yours, erupting moans from the both of you. “Ah, shit, I could just cum like this,” he hisses as his mouth hovers over yours.

A little smirk tugs on your lips at his words. Yes, you may be helplessly falling apart with every passing second. However, watching him come undone from the impression of your pussy against his cock, is a rather prideful moment. You tilt your head and begin peppering his chin and cheeks with open mouthed kisses, staining his face with your saliva now as well as your cum.

“Then, just cum, TaeTae,” you whine.

Perhaps if you didn’t sound so desperate, he probably would’ve switched back into his own submissive state. But, it’s the squeal in your voice and mischief in your tone that only drives him further down his power trip. He pulls away a bit, holding your horny gaze with an unimpressed one of his own. He realigns his hips as his jaw shifts. He’s pretending to chew gum again. Holy shit, he’s going to fuck you senseless.

He does not push into you though. Instead, he pulls you onto him by the deadly grip he has on your hips. You stare up at him as a loud cry escapes you with every inch that stretches your walls. Taehyung looks back with very little remorse in his eyes. The sight of you so small in his arms, whipped for his cock, makes his tip twitch a bit. But he is not immune to the action of entering you, sucking in a sharp breath.

“I can’t believe I forgot how tight you were,” he whispers, voice breaking.

And you thought you could never forget how big he is, but here you are. Eyes rolling back, you relish in his size like it the first time. “Big,” you mewl as he bottoms out. “Tae, you’re so big.” You sound just as broken as he does.

He cannot even find it in him to be cocky about it. He hears the realization in your voice. He knows you’ve forgotten too. A flash of pain twinkles in his eyes. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and whisper. “Remind me, Taehyung.” His brows quirk up and you add, “Remind me how good you make me feel. And I’ll remind you the same.”

Taehyung presses a gentle kiss on your forehead. Then, his hips snap in action. Holding you close, he starts hard and fast. He’s naked and growling into your ear with every thrust. You’re clothed and whining with every rumble of his chest and jerk of his hips. You didn’t even have to beg to bring out such a feral side of him. Could it be that he’s looking for the same thing you are? A lost lover?

Clay smeared fingers pressing into his skin, you push away that thought and scratch at his back. That once blank canvas of muscle and skin will now be lined with your lov- lust. This is just lust. You have to remind yourself of this fact every time he pushes into you.

He quietly hisses with each streak until he pauses his thrusts. You pout, leaning back a bit to ask if anything is wrong. But before you can even part your lips, Taehyung is readjusting his grip from your hips to your tube top.

“You’re a fucking slut to dress like this for him,” he growls. Then, in one swift motion, he pulls it down. You gasp as your breasts spill out, not out of exposure, but simply shock. He grips onto the rolled down top and smirks. “They’re a little uneven,” he points out. “But, I like that about them. Does he too? Does he get to see you like this, slut?”

You’ve got it wrong. It’s not your use of his nickname that has sent him spiralling into a pit of dominance, but rather that you went out to see another man. Is that why he ripped your pants apart? He’s destroying the outfit he thinks you wore for somebody else. Not only that, but his words only confirm that he is indeed sculpting you. All from memory, Taehyung has been molding your naked body down to the precise imperfection of your slightly uneven breasts.

And while you’re still trying to make sense of it all, he slaps one of them causing you to moan and throw your head back. Taehyung grabs a hold of your chin and drags your head back down to meet his gaze. “Answer me,” he seethes. “How much of you does he have?”

“None!” You shout. Your breathing is uneven, and you have to swallow the lump in your throat to continue, “I don’t even remember his name; he’s irrelevant.”

Taehyung circles his hips around yours, clearly pleased with your reply. But he does not pick up where he left off. “You haven’t been able to remember a lot tonight. Is that all irrelevant to you too?”

The shake of your head is reactive. You barely even had to think about it. This act of pretending that you don’t feel anything for him anymore has clearly fallen. “That’s not it, Taehyung,” you whine, hooking a leg around his waist. He wipes the tears streaming down your face as you continue, “I just didn’t want to remember us.”

Licking his lips, Taehyung slowly pulls out and eases himself back in. You tremble, watery eyes twitching in bliss. “Tell me how long you’ve been needy, baby,” he whispers.

“Have I not said enough already?”

You clutch onto his biceps and buck your hips up to meet his. He gasps, unable to hide his smile. You can tell he wants to finish this conversation but, with the way your walls are tightening around him, he doesn’t seem like he’s able to. One look in his eyes and you can tell he’s consumed by the pleasure all too much to reply.

Taehyung lets one hand fall to his side when he starts to pick up his pace. You shift one of your hands to his shoulders while the other holds onto the table’s edge. He holds you by the grip he has on your rolled tube top and smacks his hips against yours. It’s almost as if he’s riding a horse with the way he’s fucking you. And if you don’t whine loud enough, he’d slap each of your tits and force those screams out of you, growling, “You can do better than that.”

Removing your hands off him and back to the table, you accidentally rest your hand on one of his palettes. You gasp, looking over to find your hand smeared with blue and yellow hues. Taehyung laughs and rams into you faster. “You’re just making a mess wherever you go, hmm?” he teases.

You pout. He’s having too much fun making a mockery of you. Granted, you’re loving the attention, the way he’s fucking you into submission and realization, but you cannot let all this go to his head too much. As he smacks your breasts once more, nipples a little raw as they sting, you wipe your hand on him, down from his cheek to his collarbone.

He gasps, but his hips never stutter. Before you can even register his actions, Taehyung readjusts his grip from your top to your breasts and shoves his face between them. He transfers the swirl of dark blue and gold all over you as he fucks you as senseless as you predicted.

And as he playfully punishes you, blowing raspberries into your chest, you find yourself missing this, missing him. How could you have forgotten he likes to get playful, that he can switch between his two demeanours so seamlessly? He giggles when he pushes your breast into his face and further stains them with paint.

“The only one making a mess is you,” you rush to whine as your impending orgasm nears.

Dipping your hand in more paint, you rub the colours on his back and shoulders. You’re going to colour him yours if this is the last thing the two of you do together. Paint on his skin, in his hair, all over him, you’re going to make your impression here last through all the moans and whines and lewd slouches of your sensitive wetness around him.

Taehyung kisses his way up to your lips. He slips his tongue in once he reaches them and rolls his hips into you particularly harder than before. He can feel that he’s got you trailing the edge of your high. Thrust upwards, Taehyung reaches your most sensitive place. Every ram into it makes you shudder, toes curling and moans pouring into his mouth. One of his hands shifts up to your breast, massaging the smeared paint in, while the other holds your hips in place.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whines against your lips. “Come back to me.”

He can’t do this. He can’t beg you to come back with his dick shoved so deep in you like this. You’re so fucking close and he knows this. He can feel every inch of you tighten around him and desperate to be released. It’s cruel of him to manipulate you like this, to kiss you like he’s lost in the moment when he’s really just lost in you.

Kissing his way to your ear, Taehyung feels your pussy quiver. He smirks, thrusting hard enough to move the table back, and growls in your ear, “Come back to me, my muse. Cum.”

You fall back onto the table, body a total shaking shock as your orgasm washes over every inch of you. With one hand trembling over your lips, your other grabs onto one of your tits in an effort to brace yourself from the rush of ecstasy that overcomes you. The moans and whines that leave you are no exception to your convulsing state. Their breathless, broken, and blaring as you practically scream out in bliss.

Taehyung enjoys the show, watching you forget how to breathe from his place between your legs. He’s still going fast and hard, groaning when he feels you coat his cock in your cum. Mesmerized by the sight of your unheld breast bouncing with each of his thrust, he slaps it. You squeal at the sting.

And as you try to look at him, still riding out your orgasm, Taehyung’s cock twitches only to paint your inner walls with his missed affections. He falls forward, over you, burying his face between your tits again. You push them into his face and shake them against his cheeks, hearing him growl over your heart.

At some point, he stops thrusting and opts to circling his hips into yours. It’s all the same to you. Your legs continue to shake and your heart still races. Drenched in sweat, paint, and clay, you two lie there for a second longer. Even while growing limp, Taehyung feels so full in you.

He peels himself off you. His face, glistening in paint, looks like Van Gogh’s starry night, his eyes being the sparkling stars. He smirks down at you before trailing his gaze lower. That smile falls with every part of you he realizes he has ruined. Your chest is exposed and covered in colours, shirt non existent, pants clay stained and torn straight down the middle, and pussy a sopping mess of your mixed cum when he pulls out.

“I did make a mess,” he pants.

One step back, then two, then three. He distances himself from you as if ashamed of his work. You slowly sit up and cross your legs. Already, they feel strained and sore. But, they’re the least of your worries. It's the way that Taehyung winces at the sight of you, that has your heart somersaulting into your stomach. You swallow thickly between heaving pants and watch him carefully. He’s completely bare and looks even more broke than you do. His gaze looks vague and face sickly. Shaking his head, Taehyung runs a hand through his hair. He looks so annoyed with himself, he cannot even find it in him to laugh at the fact that he only got more paint in his hair.

Crossing your arms over your chest to cover yourself up a bit, you say, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

He blinks repeatedly, snapping his attention back up at you. “Why aren’t you disturbed by this?” He questions, voice all but breaking.

Your eyes scan up and down his frame before your brows knit together in confusion. Is he referring to his naked body, or that the two of you just came to the thought of dating each other again? Still, why is either of those things worth being disturbed over? A naked Taehyung post sex has never been a bad sight and, though things did end horribly, the thought of being with him again doesn’t seem so bad now. Did he not mean it when he asked you to come back? Was it just something to get off to? Are you just something to get off to?

“What?” You whisper now that your anxious train of thought has robbed your voice.

“Aren’t you dating?” He clarifies. “That poor guy. I can’t believe I just let us do that.”

You’ve never seen him this distressed. He walks back to you, just to grab his jumpsuit and briefs. He can’t even bear to look at you as you stare back at him in complete confusion. What does he think happened here? That you cheated? Clenching your jaw, you can't believe that he could think that low of you. Then again, you never did blatantly say that it was your first date since the break up. In fact, now that you think about it, you did make it seem like you were in a relationship with someone else.

Taehyung hastily gets dressed as you try to hop off the table without falling on your face from how weak your legs are after such a fucking. “Tae,” you start only to have him walk away. With a sigh, you call after him. He ignores you.

What the hell are you supposed to do now? You sure as hell can’t follow him with your legs so sore and he doesn’t seem to want to talk to you. And even if you could walk, your clothes are ruined and it would take a while for an uber to get here with all the snow coming down out there. The distant spray of the shower directs your attention to the hallway Taehyung escaped down to get away from you. Great, he’s showering and left you here to figure this all out yourself.

Taking a seat on the floor, you decide to give your legs a moment to rest before ordering yourself an uber and hoping that this night ends soon. You should’ve listened to your gut and rejected his call. You shouldn’t have agreed to this, or come here, or let him remind you just how much you miss and love him. All you ever wanted was- is him. If it haven’t been for this whole stupid issue about moving in, you’d still have him.

But, no. You had to force him into a step he wasn’t ready for. You lost him then and you came back to watch yourself lose him again. Is that it? Is that why you didn’t even explain yourself to the poor guy that was sitting across from you at Rollos. Yes, Rollos; that’s where you went for drinks. Wow, your memory really hasn’t served you well tonight. You hope you forget this tomorrow. You hope you'll be able to forget how pathetic you feel, how hurt he sounds, and how you lost him all over again.

“Get up,” Taehyung orders. His voice is rough, like he had been sobbing.

Looking over to him, you find that could’ve actually been the case. His face is tear streaked now as well as paint smeared. He stands a good few feet away from you, glaring down at your woefully ruined frame. “Taehyung, I’m not-”

He doesn’t seem to want to hear any of it. “Get up,” he repeats. “Go shower. I have some clothes for you to wear then I’m taking you home.”

“Tae, just liste-”

“Delete my number. We never talk about this again. And if you’re at all like the person I loved, you’d tell him the truth.”

Is he seriously judging you right now? You’ve barely even had a chance to explain yourself. He really doesn’t want to listen to anything you have to say, cutting you off like you’re less than him. You cannot help but scoff at him and his words.

Taehyung sighs. “Just please get up, (Y/N).”

“I’m not dating anyone.”

His superiority falls. The life returns to his face as he approaches you but you recoil into yourself the moment he steps forward. Pausing, he tilts his head at you. “What is it?”

What is it? This man is going to be the death of you. “You just shamed me for something that wasn’t true, Taehyung!” You shout.

“I thought you were cheating with me!”

You use the table to help yourself up and dryly chuckle. “Ha, yeah because lying is such a normal thing to do, right? I’m as twisted as you, Taehyung.”

“I lied because I knew saying no would hurt you. Why can’t you see that I was just looking out for you?”

That one sentence makes you freeze in place. Is he really that fucking dense? He can’t seriously believe that looking out for someone you love involves lying. Slowly turning to face him, you don't even make an effort to hide your tears anymore. “You were looking out for yourself and you know it!”

“I just didn’t-”

“Want to grow tired of me.” You finish for him in a mocking tone.

Taehyung huffs, shaking his head. “That’s not what I was going to say. Would you just let me finish?”

You’re done with this stupid conversation. All you want to do is go home and get as far away as possible from him and the way he smells and the fact that even though you hate him so much right now, you want him to come and hug you and tell you everything is going to be okay. But, he’s just so annoying. And you can’t bear to look at him anymore with that cold glare consistently being directed towards you. You’ll wait outside for the uber. Hell, you’ll just walk back to your apartment. Anything to get out of here and away from him.

In an attempt to follow through, you try to make your way towards the door, but your legs almost instantly give out.

“Jesus, babe,” Taehyung hisses, rushing to your side.

It’s not even just the fact that you’re sore but your ripped pants are starting to rub up against your cum leaking pussy. You whine a bit and try to shake him off in order to jump back onto the table. But, you’re thankful he stays by your side because you definitely cannot get up there alone with your lacking upper body strength.

His hands linger on your thighs, softening eyes locked on yours. A hint of a smirk plays on his lips before he says, “I remember doing this to you often.”

Yes, leaving you limping around the apartment was his favourite pastimes. He liked to watch you struggle to walk after every intimate moment. In fact, he always felt like he didn’t do his job right if you’re not limping. He’d go ten times rougher the next time around and then cuddle you to his chest, cooing reassurances in your ear. Was it bad that you wanted that all the time? That you wanted to sleep and wake up in the same bed he does everyday?

Slow tears roll down your face as you take his hand art stained in yours. “It was my first date since our break up,” you confess. “Sumni asked for your number… and for permission to go out with you. I just felt a little hurt that you were moving on.”

“She called.”

Your heart has shattered too many times tonight to even react to his words, but you can feel your soul shudder. She called. And did he answer? Did he have a drink with her too? You want to ask but your pride swallows your questions whole. All you can bring yourself to say is, “She’s a nice girl.”

He nods. Squeezing your hand, Taehyung wraps his arm loosely around your waist and stands in front of you. “I told her I wasn’t really ready to see anyone else yet,” he tells you, pressing himself against you.

The gesture is not at all sexual and you do not interpret it as such. Rather, it is tender and comforting. He releases his hold on your hand to wipe your tears, letting his own fall. Licking his lips, he whispers, “What’s his name?”

You shrug.

“Come on,” he half-heartedly nudges your legs. “Tell me.”

Does he think you’re trying to spare his feelings? Meeting his gaze, you can’t help but smile. He looks so cute, so precious in front of you. Playing with his hand, your fingers looping around his, you reply, “I don’t remember. I only spoke to him for half an hour or something.”

He cannot hide his smile, but avoids your gaze. Even still, you can see the relief within them. He seems to be pleased that you’re just as miserable as he is, pining after someone you cannot have any more.

“Is that why you came over?”

You shake your head before you can even think the action through. And the words leave your lips just the same, “I just missed you.”

“I really missed you too,” he croaks, rushing to say the words like he can’t believe them himself. “God, I’ve just wanted you back for so long.”

He’s all but sobbing in front of you. Parting your lips, you’re about to tell him that he doesn’t have you, not yet anyways. The fact is that he still lied, and has continued to lie to manipulate you. This cannot be forgiven so easily. You love and miss him dearly, but surely you cannot just take him back without discussing the cause of your break up first.

But then, Taehyung burrows his face into the crook of your neck and lets himself fall apart. Hugging you close, he cries into your skin. You cannot hold back the sob that tears through your throat just from the mere sound of his choked breaths and wet tears against you.

“I’m so sorry,” he cries as you cradle his head. “I’m sorry.”

The broken tone of his voice is enough to make you whimper into his hair. He sounds so fragile. This break up, you realize, has torn him inside out too. Pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead, you try to console both of your fears. But every sob trembles your courage and every drop of his tears makes you recoil in guilt and shame. How could you have done this to him, to your relationship?

He shudders a breath as he pulls away. Red in the face, wet streaks staining his painted cheeks, he cups his hands under your jaw and says, “Look, you can move in right now, okay? Alright? I’ll get your things tomorrow. I’ll give you Jungkook’s key. He only comes here to steal our food anyways.” Just stay, please (Y/N).”

His voice is shaky and tone all but heartbreaking as he chuckles at his own little joke. The desperation is real and hard to deny. You cannot even open your mouth to even voice your reservations about dating again. Clutching onto his jumpsuit, you try to revert your gaze to your lap in hopes to find your courage and tell him that you need to talk first. Only, Taehyung dips his head low to catch your eyes again. He’s determined to have you stay. And your silence only provokes more tears.

“I promise I’ll never tell another lie,” he sobs. “I promise I’ll never let my worries get in between us again. Please, baby, just please stay. Say that you’ll stay.”

You cannot watch this for another moment longer. There’s lots you still have left to discuss, like why he’s so worried about growing tired of you, and why he felt the need to lie in the first place. But his promise to never do it again is enough for now. And you just can’t sit here watching him cry any longer. You pull him towards you, pepper his cheeks with gentle kisses then cradle his head.

“I’m not going anywhere, Tae,” you mutter into his hair. “Mostly because I can’t.”

Your attempt at a joke causes him to choke out a chuckle. He showers the crook of your neck with wet kisses, muttering into your skin, “I love you.”

Rapturing in a relieved frenzy, your nerves dance within your bloodstream and repair your ruptured heart. You let out a deep breath you didn’t even realize you were holding. “I love you too,” you cry.

The last four months haven’t granted you a shred of peace. You’ve lived and re-lived that argument over and over again, praying you can just go back and fix it all there and then. But, maybe… maybe it all needed to fall apart to fall back into place. Maybe it needed to rupture to rapture.

tags: @miinoongi, @jenotation, @allannahmalik, @taeshuworld

note; please do not leave hate towards me or any other readers. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my work without my permission.

#bangtanfairygarden #btsguild #networkbangtan #ficswithluv #btswritingcafe #winterbearnet #vantenet #btswritersclub #magicshopnet #bangtanhq #btsgoldnet #taehyung smut #taehyung angst #kim taehyung angst #kim taehyung smut #bts smut

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captainunderkrupp · 4 years

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I've been sitting on this AU for several months now, developing it with the help of some friends on the Trollstopia server... and as I wanted to use it for the upcoming Creek Week, especially since I've been working more on it, so I might as well announce it now :3

Rock Creek AU. Explanations, warnings, and more art under the cut.

So a bit under a year ago, after TWT came out, I found several AUs where Creek ended up in Volcano Rock City and interacting with Barb somehow. They were all very interesting, but none of them really hit my specific tastes for what I might want out of that sort of story... so I was inspired to start developing my own!

The basic question, of course, is: What if Creek had somehow ended up in rock troll territory after the first movie? And this fun little project of me speculating, having fun drawing different designs and looks for him, and figuring out how he interacted with the rock trolls we know and love, and I ended up throwing him into VRC for two years, between the first and second movies, and just kept writing down ideas and thinking about it. It's now kind of a monster of an AU, but one that I'm very excited about.

In fact, I'm currently working on what is going to be a very long fic that I'm not sure when it will be done, though I can say it may still be a few months out. I was planning on finishing it before announcing this AU at all, but... I couldn't resist the urge to use him in the Creek Week prompts, so here we are :)

Anyway. Here are some basics for this AU specifically:

It starts out as if he ended up heading toward rock territory instead of wandering back toward Pop Village, like is implied in TTBGO.

He's found by the rock trolls and brought in to Volcano Rock City. He spends lots of time too sick to do anything except be miserable, though when he gets better he starts doing his usual thing, trying to work into other trolls' good graces for his own status in what he now thinks of as his new home, since he assumes he won't be welcome back with the pop trolls...

But the rock trolls are not easily trusting of pop trolls in general, even if he insists he's different. So Barb decides she wants to see how he may be affected by their kingdom's string…

And may misadventures besides, some of which will affect only him, but others which may cause a butterfly effect through all the kingdoms!

This story will contain:

references to trollstopia and TTBGO. there are characters from both shows that affect the main plot and interact with him.

lots and lots of headcanons about different trolls. as this is an AU, they may not match up with my usual HCs about them, but I do enjoy meta and extrapolating directly from canon.

the theory that creek has relatives, branch, cybil, and rosiepuff. he also gathers some of his own found family in a few rock trolls as he develops.

no main shipping. creek will have his own crushes and entanglements, but please do not expect any specific ships to become endgame with him in this story. there may be side character relationships, however.

OCs. there is at least one OC central to a good part of the plot, and another that will make more than one appearance. also, some of the characters are underdeveloped, to the point that I may have to develop them into basically OCs to make them usable for this fic.

a complex redemption arc. one of the main things I find interesting about creek is how he became an antagonist, and how he could redeem himself. I don't tend to enjoy most fandoms' modern definition of a redemption arc, so please expect some twists and turns with how I redeem him.

DARK THEMES. while the general AU can be discussed without touching these themes, the fic itself may be rated between teen and mature, and will have plenty of warnings. I will try to make the darkest of the scenes I am currently writing skippable, but this is your warning.

ANY OF THESE THINGS CAN CHANGE. the main points should all still apply to the final fic, but details may shift as I keep working on this WIP.

So that’s the basics of the AU! Feel free to send me questions, though I may be a tad slow answering them since I’ve been so busy with fandom events and commissions, hehe. And thank you for reading!

#dreamworks trolls #trolls world tour #creek #jasper speaks #fluiditywrites #fluiditydraws #art tag #trolls oc #twt #trolls au #i have. a lot made for this au #that ive been holding back cuz i wanna get the fic out first #XD #rock creek au

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gemmaswriting · 4 years

Text

Anidala Fanfiction Recommendations!!

I’ve been asked for a long time for my fanfiction recommendations, so I’ve finally taken the time to compile them. If there are any you love that I missed out (this includes Vaderdala!) leave them as a reply so we can all have a good time reading together.

Writer: Shelivesfree (fanfiction profile) This wonderful girl has some of the most amazing Anidala stories I have ever had the pleasure of reading. Unfortunately, a lot of them have been hiatus for a while but her Boy Next Door trilogy has two amazing parts completed.

The stories I recommend:

“The Boy Next Door”: “When Padme Naberrie returns to her home after 10 years, the last thing she expects to find is her childhood friend, Anakin Skywalker; the boy next door. But 10 years is a long time, and he has changed more than she is prepared for. How will she react when little Ani is now a grown man, impulsive, handsome and completely infatuated with her? Modern AU.”

“The Girl from Harvard”: “Sequel to ‘The Boy Next Door’ Absence makes the heart grow fonder. It also makes it grow more paranoid. Padme is in her last year of Harvard. Anakin has just started at the University of Chicago. Though they won't admit it, their long-distance relationship is taking it's heavy toll. Will their love prevail or will the distance prove too much for both of them? Sequel to The Boy Next Door. Modern AU.”

“look into my eyes, that's where my demons hide”: ”Each time he comes back to her, a little piece of him is missing... left out there, in the field, with his brothers. She can see it in the way he smiles and it doesn't reach his eyes. In the way he cries to himself when he thinks she's not awake. And all she can do is hold him. Modern AU.”

“I Know Your Type” “Am I dead?" It slips out, accidentally. She turns her head towards me, a confused look on her face and tips her head. "Excuse me?" Flashing her an impish grin, I lean casually against the wall. "I must have died and gone to heaven, because you look like an angel." The look she gives me is far from impressed. "Do you use that with all the girls, or am I just lucky?"

“we both know what we want, so why don't we fall in love?” “Rhythmic Gymnast Padme Naberrie has dreamed of being an Olympian since she was five years old. Now, after years and years of training and preparations, she's finally made it to Rio, and nothing is going to stand in the way between her and a gold medal. Except a certain Canadian beach volleyball player, perhaps.”

“Infinite” “ My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite.”

“for a moment” “And, just for a moment, all the worries and concerns that troubled the young couple cease to exist. Fade away to just this. Husband and wife. Asleep. Dreaming of the sweet little life they will soon bring into the world and into their hearts. Set somewhere in ROTS.”

“Procrastination” “Padmé is busy with a new bill she must bring before the next Senate meeting. Her husband has other ideas, it would seem.”

“There’s a million reasons I should give you up” “Padmé struggles to deal with Anakin's frequent departures for weeks, even months, at a time during the Clone Wars. It's in these moments she contemplates the practicality of their marriage. Grief-stricken with loneliness, she stumbles across something she wrote a long time ago... a list of sorts. The find brings about a whole host of emotions she'd rather not deal with.”

“all I need is you” “It was her fault. His pain, his jealousy, his insecurity. It was all her fault. Padme looked up at the beautiful man in front of her, her husband, her Ani, and decided she needed to make him remember. Remind him of how much she loved him. Because no one, no man in the entire galaxy, could take the place of Anakin Skywalker.”

“Her” “A glimpse into the Cosmic Force after Darth Vader's redemption and return to the Light Side. Anakin Skywalker is consumed by guilt and Obi-wan and Yoda are there to appease him. But it's been twenty-four years and all he wants is to see her.”

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Writer: SphinxScribe (Fanfiction profile/ Tumblr account @sphinxscribe ) This fantastic writer has many, many alternate takes on the plot of Revenge of the Sith - often allowing our favourite couple to have a happy ending. Their writing captures the world of Star Wars perfectly.

The stories I recommend:

“Where Catalysts Stand Down” “Palpatine issues Order 66, and Anakin and Padmé flee Coruscant. ROTS AU. Anakin/Padmé, Anidala.”

“Viability’s Edge” “Anakin tells Obi-Wan the truth. ROTS AU. Anakin/Padmé, Anidala.”

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Writer: Disco Shop Girl (Fanfiction profile) This writer’s take on Anidala is so well written within every story of theirs I have read. They truly capture their dynamic and relationship perfectly.

The stories I recommend:

“Your helmet cracked” “He'd been restrained, forced to watch while her helmet cracked and the Mon Calamari sea water threatened to drown her before his eyes. Now they're free. And alone. Set at the end of the Clone Wars season 4 Water War arc.”

“Order 66-S” “The order was to exterminate all Jedi: Past, Present and Future. Captain Rex has a different plan. Order 66-S: to save General Skywalker.”

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Writer: Rogue Darth Skywalker (Fanfiction profile/ Tumblr - @roguedarthskywalker) This wonderful person has been one of the biggest supporters of my own writing for a long time and I value them immensely! They have many delicious Anidala/Vaderdala stories for you to obsess over for hours and hours. I highly recommend following both profiles linked above.

The stories I recommend:

“Pin up Problems” “He hated the nose art. He hated seeing others degrade her other exceptional qualities by depicting her as some pin up girl. He hated thinking about how many other beings across the stars fantasized about her in such a way. At the same time, he can't deny that the art makes her look… hot. He can't deny that the sight turns him on.”

“Letting Go” “It was their custom. Every year on that fateful day, Anakin would make his way to the cemetery with his children and seek out the mausoleum where she rested."

“Far from Perfect” “Darth Vader is dead. Anakin is redeemed and lives on Naboo with Padme and their children. But not all happy endings are perfect.”

“Far from Easy” “Sequel to Far From Perfect. Redeemed Anakin Skywalker tries to make things right with his wife and kids.

“Perfect” “Happy Family style AU post ROTS. Padme wakes up in the middle of the night and ponders the most recent events in her life.”

“A Dangerous Fantasy” “Pure Smut. Padme helps Anakin fulfil a fantasy he has had since they were married- one that involves the Jedi Council Chambers.”

“Untitled” “Anakin and Padme deal with having to tell their young twins they are having another baby.”

“Strictly Professional” “There are times she hates that she has to resort to this- that rather than being in a long term relationship with someone, she chose to instead pay someone for sex. Modern AU.”

“Out of his Depth” “I fought in a war. I commanded legions of soldiers against battle droids. I think I can handle my own four-year-old twins."

“Love and Jealousy” “Anakin gave the binders an experimental tug, testing his chances of escaping. There was none. A light chuckle left his lips after a few moments, letting his head fall back to rest on the chair. What a compromising position for a Jedi Knight to be in. Handcuffed in a respected senator's bedchambers practically naked… oh, how the holonews would rave should the story get out!”

“Against all Odds” “He shouldn't be here. The election was only a few weeks away and the final debate was due in the next few days. There were so many other things he should be doing. He shouldn't be here, in enemy territory wrapped in the arms of the woman his boss despised. Modern AU. Smut.”

“What we Hope is Never Found” “The impending existence of a recording of them together held dangers that went a little deeper than if they were found naked and tangled together in her office or on his cruiser. The physical proof of their relationship would cause an uproar if it were discovered. But she trusted Anakin. Smut.”

“It was Found” “Sequel to What We Hope is Never Found.”

“Things that go bump in the night” “Luke and Leia think there is a ghost in their home. Their parents know better.”

“Preparations” “She couldn't wait to meet their little ones. It hadn't been too long since they learned she was having twins, and as stressful as that idea was at first, she was quickly growing accustomed to the idea of having two perfect little babies. Her husband, however, seemed to be taking it a little worse than her.”

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Writer: Skywalkersamidala (Archive of our Own profile/ Tumblr @markantonys) I absolutely adore the Anidala stories created by this author whether they’re aus or canon! They nail the couple’s dynamic throughout their many wonderful stories.

The stories I recommend:

“Snow Place like Home” “For genre-typical convoluted reasons involving ill-timed blizzards, Padmé is forced to spend the holidays at Anakin's house. Anakin isn't as upset about his boss staying with him for Christmas as he probably should be.“

“Soulmates R Us” “Anakin works at a toy store, and single-mother-of-twins Padmé is becoming one of the store's best customers.”

“Heirs of Light and Darkness” “After escaping the Jedi purge two years ago made him the most wanted fugitive in the galaxy, Anakin Skywalker has at last been captured by the Empire. He expects to be killed, but Lady Padmé Amidala, the imperial heir, has other ideas.”

“Friendly Competition” “Playing Quidditch is awfully difficult when you’re in love with the rival Seeker. Snapshots of Anakin and Padmé’s 7 years at Hogwarts.“

“Perfect” “The war is over, Luke and Leia are five years old, and Anakin and Padmé finally have the peaceful life and big family they've always dreamed of. But their life is about to get a little less peaceful and their family a little bigger.“

“Nos Cedamus Amori“ “Anakin is a gladiator and a slave. Padmé is the wife of the Roman emperor's heir. Circumstances should never even allow them to meet, let alone fall in love.“

“I Do Take Two” “Thirty years after their clandestine wedding on Naboo, Anakin and Padmé decide to finally do the proper wedding ceremony they never got to have, with all their friends and family present.“

“Flat Tire” “Who knew something as simple as getting a flat tire could change the entire course of your life?“

“Strays” “Anakin had always had a penchant for taking in strays.”

“Five weddings and a funeral” “Padmé's feeling gloomy about her perpetual singleness, but everything changes when she meets an attractive stranger at her sister's wedding.“

“Pipe Dream” “Padmé's new plumber is the most attractive human being she's ever laid eyes on, so naturally, she keeps faking plumbing emergencies so she can keep seeing him.“

“Birthdays and Birth days” “Anakin gets a birthday surprise — two of them, in fact.“

“Spouses with Benefits” “Anakin and Padmé wake up after a wild night in Vegas and discover they accidentally got married—and that Ahsoka posted about it all over social media, so now every single person they know is texting and calling them to offer congratulations. They decide to save face by pretending the marriage was totally 100% intentional and not a drunk mistake at all, keeping up the charade for six months, and then quietly getting divorced. But a lot can change in six months…“

“Two Halves Make a Whole” “Anakin is the single dad of Luke. Padme is the single mom of Leia. Luke and Leia meet in kindergarten and become best friends. The rest is history.“

“Home” “In which "Darth Vader" is no more than Anakin's playtime alter ego (happy Skywalker family AU)“

“Someday” “At age fourteen, Padme receives a marriage proposal from the nine-year-old boy next door and tells him to ask her again when she's thirty. Surely he'll have forgotten all about it by then.��

“Across the Centuries” “They meet each other in every century, but something always goes wrong before they can make it to happily-ever-after.”

“Madam President” “Between late nights and headaches and mountains of paperwork and fierce opposition from her political opponents, President Padmé Amidala already had enough on her plate. And then she just had to go and fall for one of her bodyguards, a relationship which would ruin her reputation and his career if anyone were to find out about it. Also, someone's trying to kill her.“

“Scars” “How do Anakin and Padmé go from "I love you" to "I do"? Missing scene from Attack of the Clones.”

“The Bet” “Anakin's had a crush on Padmé since fourth grade, and after putting up with his pining for seven years, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka are finally stepping in and making a bet that he can't ask her to junior prom in the spring. Meanwhile, Padmé is realizing that Anakin isn't as annoying as she'd always thought. In fact, her feelings towards him are starting to go in quite the opposite direction...”

“Three” “His and Padmé’s first wedding anniversary isn’t going nearly as well as Anakin had hoped it would. Until, suddenly, it’s so much better than he could have ever imagined.“

“The Anakin Disaster” “Padmé is mortified upon waking up beside her strictly platonic childhood best friend Anakin Skywalker the morning after a drunken one-night stand. A couple weeks later, she discovers that's the least of their problems.“

“Will You Fake Marry Me?” “Anakin's boss may or may not have accidentally given her family the impression that she's engaged to him. Anakin may or may not be pleased about the situation”

“Aggressive Negotiations” “Empress Amidala invites Lord Vader to her private rooms to persuade him to form an alliance with the Empire. Her methods are very effective.”

“Troubling Implications” “Perhaps he hated himself for it—Padmé thought he probably did—but he came that night (several times, in fact). And the night after that, and the next one, and the next, until it became a habit that neither of them seemed especially inclined to break. (Sequel to "Aggressive Negotiations")

“Imperial Obligations” “Padmé's advisors suggest that she get rid of Vader and make a politically advantageous marriage. The Empress is less than pleased. (Sequel to "Aggressive Negotiations" and "Troubling Implications")”

“Welcome Home” “Anakin Skywalker closes his eyes on the face of his son. When he opens them again, he is in Naboo, and someone is waiting for him.“

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Writer: Shawn30 (Fanfiction profile) The one, the only, the deservedly famous! I think every Anidala fan is aware of this f a n t a s t i c writer’s work. Deliciously smutty. Unbelievably well written. Unfortunately, many of their works have been left uncompleted for years but the stories are still worth reading!

“Whisper” “Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but can also whither your soul and breed doubt in your heart. AP angsty erotica.”

“The Ties that Bind” “Given a brief period of time off during the Clone Wars, Padmé and Anakin visit her family at the Lake Country estate on Naboo. A family that still doesn't know they are married, although they are about to find out. Complete.”

“The Light and the Dark” “Chapter 1 in the Hearts and Souls series. An unexpected Separatist attack 'accidentally' reunites two star-crossed lovers, giving them a brief moment of peace at a time of war. Complete.”

“Shadows of Winter” “Chapter 2 in the Hearts and Souls series. With six days to spend together celebrating their two year anniversary, Anakin and Padme travel separately to a remote planet in the Hoth system. Romance, passion, and danger await them. Complete.”

“Beloved” “Chapter 3 in the "Hearts and Souls" series. When faced with the most horrific news imaginable, Padme's utter desperation forces her to turn to Obi-Wan and even Chancellor Palpatine for help. Her greatest personal challenge awaits... Complete”

“Paradise” “The sequel to "Beloved." Following Padme's daring rescue of her husband, the Skywalker's return to Naboo for eight days to heal, unwind, spend time with family, and deal with their connection to the Dark Side of the Force.”

“Salvation” “After facing his moment of truth, Anakin and Padmé must finally deal with the consequences. Obi-Wan reveals a startling discovery. Complete”

“Scandalous” “The sequel to Salvation. On the eve of Padmé Skywalker's official ascension to the role of Vice Chair of the Republic, Anakin steals her away for a wild vacation to Cloud City. Complete.”

“Sacred” “Chapter 2. Ahsoka and Jo'Seth grow closer. Padme's trip to the Jedi Temple on Republic business turns a bit more adventurous. Anakin and Obi-Wan have a heart to heart talk about moving forward.”

“Belonging” “A private afternoon lunch to catch up with an old friend during the Clone Wars reveals a great deal to ObiWan Kenobi. AP”

“Before the Seasons Change” “With the Darth Sidious finally defeated and the Clone Wars ended, Anakin and Padme consider what comes next in their lives. Anakin/Padme”

“Amor Vincit Omnia” “AU. After a three and a half year separation Vice Chair Amidala and Jedi Master Skywalker have some unfinished business as the Clone Wars have finally ended and Palpatine is dead.”

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If there’s any stories I missed, let me know!

#Anidala #anidala fanfiction #Vaderdala #vaderdala fanfiction #Anidala fic rec

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