#this evening: last friend who was supposed to meet above guy with me to hang out wednesday decided to cancel

[reginaofdoctorwho]

god really loves kicking a bitch while she's down huh?

[yelena-bellova]

Twenty Years Later: Joel Miller x F!Reader - Chapter Three

Chapter Three: Out On The Town

Plot: Tess and Joel demand answers from Y/n and Ellie on the details of Ellie’s condition and venture out into the city.

Word Count: 6.1k

Warnings: tlou ep.2 spoilers, language, canon typical violence, allusion to sexual harassment, guns, blood (16+)

A/N: PLEASE READ. Hello, my loves 👋🏻 I’m so glad everyone’s enjoying the series. I placed this in the previous chapter and a few other posts, but need to reiterate it. I’m not adding anyone to the taglist if they don’t have their age in their bio. This is a 16+ series and I’m trying to look out for younger eyes on here 👀

Other than that, I hope everyone enjoys these next two chapters. This one’s less action and more set-up for future parts. The next one should be out before Sunday’s episode. Read on, babes!!

—————————

May 10th, 2002. Austin, Texas.

The only proof Joel had that he’d been at the bar the night before was the throbbing pain in his temples. It was a sobering reminder that his talent for drinking was slipping with age. Still, he pounded some coffee and an Aspirin, picked up Tommy and headed off to work.

On their way, Joel found his eye straying to each women he drove past that even bore a tiny resemblance to Y/n. He should have been surprised that it had only taken one meeting for her to brand herself on his brain, but she was something special. She probably had that effect on everyone she met.

Joel parked the car outside the hardware store, leaving a semi-hungover Tommy to grab a few more minutes of sleep. Sarah was at soccer practice for the morning and then off to a friend’s house, they could almost get in full day of work.

Both the Miller brothers knew their way around the store like the back of their hands. Joel went to the back to get his quota of wood cut, made small talk with the older guy who worked the cutter and navigated the aisles effortlessly. There was nothing new about any of it…

On the other side of each aisle, Y/n was pushing a cart and restocking product. Home improvement wasn’t her passion in life, but her father had been one of those “don’t pay someone to do it if you can do it yourself” kind of guys, so it came natural to her. The pay was good, she liked her boss, and she enjoyed the community aspect of the job.

They were dancing without knowing it. Each time Joel moved in one direction, Y/n moved in the opposite, and vice versa.

Eventually, Joel got to the last thing on his list: a new drill bit. He steered his cart around a corner and down the corresponding aisle. When he got to the hook it was supposed to be on, he found it empty. This was not the day for that…

Y/n pulled down the aisle, spotting a customer rifling through a shelf, and put on her employee smile. “Can I help you find some-“

Joel practically smacked his head on the shelf above, standing up as soon as he heard that familiar voice.

Y/n’s eyes lit up, “You.”

“You,” Joel echoed, a surprised smile coming to his face.

“Hi,” Y/n chuckled.

Joel’s brain stopped firing any and all signals, “Hi.”

“So we had the same early morning planned,” Y/n smiled.

“Shoulda carpooled,” Joel replied, earning a breathy laugh. His chest warmed.

“How are you?” Y/n asked, as if some grand thing had occurred in the past twelve hours they’d been apart.

Joel leaned one arm on the handle of his cart, “Good. Headin’ off to work.”

“No Tommy?” Y/n looked over his shoulder.

“Nah, he’s sleepin’ last night off in the truck,” Joel said, putting a hand on his hip.

“Can’t say I blame him,” Y/n looped a finger through the grate of her cart, swinging her body into the aisle, “I shouldn’t have let you two buy me that second glass.”

Joel smirked, “Can’t hold your liquor?”

“Oh, I can hold it,” Y/n said confidently, scrunching up her face after, “Until the next morning.”

The two of them shared a short laugh before Y/n remembered why they were there. “You were looking for something,” she pointed to the shelf.

He was? “Oh, yeah,” Joel remembered, “Quarter inch bit.”

“Hang on,” Y/n said, determinedly sorting through one of the boxes in her cart. She pulled out the piece of steel and held it up victoriously.

“You’re my hero,” Joel said, taking it from her, “Day would have been a waste without this.”

“Well, there you go,” Y/n couldn’t help herself from beaming, “You saved me last night, I returned the favor.”

Joel internally winced at the memory.

“Are you done shopping or can I pull anything else out of my magic Mary Poppins cart?” Y/n quipped, patting a hand against one of the boxes.

“Nah, that was the last thing on the list,” he answered, wishing dearly he’d written more on the piece of paper in his hand.

“Well, I’ll check you out,” Y/n said, wishing she’d chosen any other phrasing.

Joel held up a hand, “I don’t wanna take you away from what you’re doin’.”

“Please, you’re doing me a favor,” Y/n grabbed the end of her cart and began to drag it down the aisle, “You’re the first human interaction I’ve had all morning.”

Deciding that he was doing a service and nothing more, Joel followed her through the store. He didn’t know if he believed in fate, but he believed in luck, and it felt like he’d gotten tossed a rare bit of good luck by meeting Y/n again.

Y/n was half convinced she’d caused Joel to materialize. Here she was, thinking about him and his big brown eyes all morning, and then there he was. It was either an unbelievable stroke of luck, or someone Up There had seen fit to brighten her day a little.

As Y/n scanned Joel’s items, a nervous silence blanketed them. Everything that filtered through their minds sounded too awkward to say. There wasn’t a whole lot of ground to cover, they’d only known each other for less than twenty four hours.

“You doin’ okay?” Joel finally asked, hoping he wasn’t crossing some line, “After last night?”

“Oh,” Y/n looked down at the pile of purchases, “Yeah, I’m fine. Not the first time it’s happened. I just need to get better at defending myself.”

Joel’s blood boiled under his calm demeanor, men were awful. “There shouldn’t be a need in the first place,” he bit out as he gripped his cart a little tighter.

Yn shrugged sadly, “It’s the world we live in. That’s why it’s so nice to meet guys like you and Tommy. You make up for your sex’s failings.”

Joel chuckled under his breath as he handed her his debit card, “Not sure we can fill that tall an order.”

Laughing softly enough to make Joel’s chest flutter a little, Y/n rang up the order and handed him the bags.

“Well, I guess I know where I’ll be seeing you two from now on,” she said.

“Yeah,” Joel replied, “And thanks for helping me find that bit. You really saved our asses.”

Y/n playfully held her hands up, “I didn’t get employee of the month for nothing.”

Joel could hear that little voice in his head, the same one that had a residency in the gut, telling him to take a shot and ask Y/n out. He wasn’t a timid guy, but she had some sort of spell on him that made his palms sweat and his mind go blank. Plus, he’d sworn off bringing anyone into his life a long time ago. It was all around, a bad idea.

“Well, I’ll see you around,” he finally decided on.

Y/n hoped her smile hid all her sadness, “See you.”

Joel and his cart made it about three steps before he threw caution to the wind.

“Hey,” he turned around, “Do you think, maybe….I could take you to dinner sometime?”

Y/n’s grin spread like wildfire across her face, “Yeah,” she replied, “I’d like that.”

Both of them released a caught breath, Y/n pressed a button on the printer and tore off a piece of reciept paper. She scribbled her number down.

“I work a lot,” she told him as she wrote, “But I’m usually free on Fridays.”

“Okay,” Joe took the paper from her, their fingers brushing, “I’ll call you.”

Y/n had to physically restrain her lips and the giggle that threatened to show itself. “You do that,” she responded, fiddling with her pen.

Joel gave a sideways smile, deciding to get out while he was on a winning streak. He held up a hand and turned on his heel, confidence powering his stride.

Y/n stayed at the checkout counter a little longer, trying to compose herself lest customers think she was high. She set her pen back down and did a little skip back to her cart. It was going to be a great day.

Joel made it back to the truck, loading his supplies into the flatbed with unusual enthusiasm. He didn’t care about his headache, his backache…he was flying too high for anything to bother him. He climbed into the driver’s seat, Tommy groaned as he did.

“You took your time,” he grunted.

Joel didn’t get many moments of victory, he was going to let himself bask in this one a while. He held up the piece of paper to Tommy, who leaned over and read it. Above an unknown phone number was Y/n’s name with a heart next to it.

Tommy’s grin stretched, “No way.”

Joel simply grinned and started up the truck.

“No fuckin’ way,” Tommy got louder, reaching over and shaking his brother’s shoulder. They drove off, Joel’s mood was shifted for the day. The nerves would set in later. For now, he just wanted to be excited about taking out the beautiful girl from the bar.

—————————

2023, Boston

Tess slammed Y/n up against the inside of the abandoned building.

“What the hell’s going on?”

Y/n pulled on Tess’ jacket and tried to flip her around. She rammed her elbow down on Tess’ arm and broke the hold. Before Tess could fight back, Joel took hold of both their arms and wrenched them apart. Y/n slipped as he did an fell on her side, refusing to groan and let any vulnerability show.

“I already told you,” Y/n grunted, pushing up on one arm, “She’s not sick.”

“You think we’re just gonna believe you?” Tess continued, “Give us one reason why we shouldn’t kill you both right now.”

Y/n smirked, her eyes bouncing to Joel, who glared at her with the same coldness he had twenty years ago. “How else are you going to get your battery?”

No matter how much control Joel wanted to pretend he had over the situation, Y/n held the real power. Ellie and her were the key to getting to Tommy.

Ellie watched this all from the side, exhausted and scared.

“Now here’s what’s going to happen,” Y/n stood to her feet and pointed to Ellie, “She’s going to get some sleep. At some point tonight, I’m going to do the same. Have a gun on me the whole time, I don’t fucking care,” she gestured between her and the girl, “But both of us are going to be breathing come morning,” she looked to Joel, “Or else you get to live with the fact that Tommy could have lived if it wasn’t for your overeager trigger finger.”

Joel’s blood boiled, furious with Y/n for having stepped over that line. How could she speak about his life so carelessly?

“We’ll take the first two shifts,” Tess stated, leaving no room for argument, “But we get our answers first thing.”

Y/n gave a single nod, picked up her backpack and motioned for Ellie to come with. In the middle of the building, there was a patch of grass that could act as a bed. Y/n sat down and pulled out her sweater, balling it up and laying her head atop it.

“Are you sure they won’t kill us?” Ellie asked quietly, she followed Y/n’s actions and crumpled up her jacket.

“Positive,” Y/n said as she shut her eyes. Joel may have been reckless with her life, but he’d sooner die than let anything happen to Tommy.

Ellie curled up a few inches away from Y/n. It was funny what life-or-death circumstances could do to people. Y/n was the only person Ellie had taken to out of the Fireflies, but now, with Tess and Joel as her other options for comfort, she was her new favorite person. Ellie turned on her side to face the woman, the only person she could count on to protect her…

—————————

Sunlight across Y/n eyes woke her up. She stretched out her legs and yawned, spotting a sleeping Ellie at her side. She’d never gotten woken up for her turn to keep watch, but that had been expected. It didn’t take a genius to guess what was waiting in front of her.

Sure enough, Joel had his rifle pointed straight at her chest.

“You’re getting predictable,” Y/n remarked, rubbing one of her eyes.

Ellie woke soon after, sitting up and finding the same sight.

“Morning,” she said. The second she moved, Joel’s gun followed her. Y/n immediately pulled her gun off of her belt and pointed it at her ex.

“Do I look like I’m infected?” Ellie asked.

“Show us your arm,” Joel demanded.

Ellie rolled up her sleeve and showcased the scarred bite. Tess and Joel leaned forward to examine it, which was hard to do with half a room between them.

“Yeah, it’s not getting any worse, is it?” Ellie said impatiently, “If we’re out in the open city, why aren’t we getting swarmed?”

“Don’t worry about that,” Joel ignored her concern.

“Well, I’m gonna,” the girl replied.

“What was Marlene doing with an infected kid?” Tess switched lanes.

Ellie shook her head, “I’m not infected.”

Tess and Joel gave a deadpan stare, Y/n rolled her eyes. It wasn’t like it was a fucking fairytale they were asking them to believe. There was proof right in from of them.

“She found me after I was bitten,” Ellie continued.

“And she didn’t shoot you,” Joel put another piece of the puzzle together.

“Clearly not. She locked me up and had her guys,” Ellie glanced over to Y/n, “Test me every day to see if I was getting sick.”

“Test you how?” Tess asked.

Ellie sighed, “I have to pee.”

Nobody cared. “Test you…how?”

“They’d make me count to ten and hold my hand out and then keep it steady,” Ellie answered, “But, you know, I think what really impressed them was that I didn’t turn into a fucking monster. Now can I please?”

As Ellie stood up, Joel rose with her, and so did Y/n. Betrayal and loyalty mixed between them like oil and water. Ellie held her hands up, caught in the middle of it.

“Fine,” Tess relented, “Back there, you can find a spot. And here,” she tossed a magazine Ellie’s way, “Tear out a few pages.”

Ellie glanced between Y/n and Joel, checking to make sure there wasn’t about to be a shootout, and headed back. “There’s not gonna be anything bad in here?”

“Just you,” Joel answered.

“Oh, funny,” Ellie said before disappearing.

With her gone, Joel and Y/n really had no reason to still be aiming at one another. At the same time, they cautiously lowered their weapons. Despite whatever tragic nostalgia they’d indulged in the night before, they’d gone back to hate, as if their memories had been a symptom of some bad hangover. It was all forgotten in the light of day.

Joel sat back down with Tess, letting his unflinching stare rest on Y/n. Y/n had seen enough of that scowl to not be intimidated by it. Eventually, when nothing more could be said, his eyes dropped to examine his hand. The pain had set in overnight and he couldn’t keep it from shaking.

“Broken,” Tess stated, sitting down next to him.

“Maybe a hairline,” he replied, never looking at her, “It’ll heal fast.”

“Okay,” Y/n muttered, clapping her hands together, “You keep thinkin’ positive, I’m gonna go take a piss.”

She marched over the small hill of grass and knocked on the door frame of Ellie’s makeshift bathroom. “Me,” she announced.

“Don’t fuckin’ look,” Ellie said quickly from somewhere in the room.

“I’m not,” Y/n replied, staring at the ceiling as she wandered, “Just tell me where to go.”

“Left a little,” the girl instructed, “Straight. There you go.”

Y/n unbuckled her pants and squatted, “Throw me the book?”

Ellie tossed the papers her way, they awkwardly went on with their business in silence.

As much as Y/n hated to let Joel have any sort of win over her, if they were going to convince him and Tess to help them to the State House, he was going to need more information.

“You’re gonna have to tell them,” she told Ellie, “About out West.”

Ellie was finished and standing on the other side of Y/n, “I thought I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone.”

“Yeah, well,” Y/n sighed, “They’re not gonna believe you unless you do. Marlene would say the same thing.”

“What about you?” Ellie asked, “Would they believe you?”

Y/n bitterly chuckled, the memories that once had stingers now couldn’t penetrate her thick skin. “No, they won’t believe me. You’re our only shot.”

Outside, Joel and Tess were discussing the sudden plot twist.

“She made it through the fuckin’ night, Joel,” Tess urged, her voice dripping with hope.

“It doesn’t matter,” Joel argued, “It’s gonna happen sooner or later. Alright? We’re still close to the Wall, we sneak ‘em back into the QZ. We find a different way to get the battery.”

“What about her?” Tess asked, there was no need to specify which one she was referring to, “You don’t believe her?”

“I don’t trust a fuckin’ word that comes out of her mouth,” Joel answered harshly, the past nipping at his heels, “She’s lied before and she’ll do it again.”

Tess had something unique going for her: she didn’t share history with Joel and Y/n. She saw through all their bullshit objectively. “This is our best shot,” she said, “We take ‘em back to the QZ, someone’s gonna notice her arm, they’ll scan her, then they’ll kill her.”

Joel wasted a heartlessly little amount of time with his reply, “Well, better her than us. You need to stop talkin’ about this kid like she’s got some kind of life in front of her.”

He didn’t know it, but he should have felt grateful that Y/n couldn’t hear his comment over the ripping of magazine pages. She would have shot him then and there.

Ellie and Y/n walked out, Ellie tossing the magazine back at Tess and Y/n keeping close watch as she took her seat.

“You hungry?” Tess offered to Ellie, “You can share some of ours.”

“Thanks,” Ellie replied, “Marlene sent me with my own.”

If Y/n wanted to feel like she was beating Joel in something, breakfast gave her the win. While he picked at a piece of jerky with his fractured hand, she and Ellie worked on their oversized sandwiches. Petty? Perhaps. But Y/n felt entitled to whatever form her hatred wanted to take.

“Is that chicken?” Tess finally asked.

Ellie nodded, “Yeah. Marlene and Y/n say they get it from smugglers. Guess not you guys.”

For whatever reason, even though she’d attacked her, Y/n was starting to feel empathy for Tess. She was the only one semi-amenable to Ellie’s situation. Against her instincts and more in line with her heart, she ripped the rest of her sandwich in half and walked it over to Tess, who looked up appreciatively. On her way back, she made a point of passing by Joel.

Tess stood up and approached Y/n and Ellie, setting Joel off. “Hey. Hey!”

“Why-“ Tess started, throwing a hand up to Joel to stay put, “Why is she so important to you and Marlene? And don’t lie to me or we’ll take you both back.”

“You take us back,” Ellie answered for Y/n, “You don’t get your battery.”

“You heard that?” Tess scoffed, “Well, then you must’ve heard that he wants to shoot you.”

Y/n wanted her heart to break at the comment, but when she looked into Joel’s eyes, she saw nothing. Nothing.

“He also knows he dies if he does that,” Y/n retorted, staring down the man like she could burn a hole through him by sheer force of will.

Tess kneeled down in front of Ellie, “I’m gonna talk to you like you’re an adult, okay? Joel and I aren’t good people. We’re doin’ this for us because, apparently, you’re worth something. But we don’t know what you’re worth if we don’t know what we have. So answer my question.”

Y/n and Joel saw none of the conversation, their eyes were locked on one another like bulls locking horns.

Ellie, however, took Y/n’s advice. “There’s a Firefly base camp somewhere out west,” she confessed, “With doctors. They’re working on a cure.”

Absurdity won and Joel broke his stare first, “Mm-hm, I’ve heard this before.”

“And whatever happened to me,” Ellie continued, “Is the key.”

“Is the key to finding the vaccine,” Joel’s voice overlapped with hers, turning to Tess, “That’s what this is? We’ve heard this a million times. Vaccines, miracle cures. None of it works. Ever.”

“This time it’s different,” Y/n argued.

Ellie stood up, “Fuck you, man. I didn’t ask for this.”

“You and me both,” Joel retorted, “This isn’t gonna end well, Tess. We need to go back.”

“Oh, yes,” Y/n smiled a joyless smile, “Once again, Joel Miller’s making decisions for everyone. What a comfort.”

It was the first time she’d said his name in twenty years and it was doused in venom. It should have hurt.

Tess got to her feet and came to Joel, “Let’s just finish it. It doesn’t matter if she is or isn’t what the Fireflies say she is. If they believe that she is, then…we get what we want.”

Joel faced two realities; one in which Y/n’s words from the night before came true and his brother died because of his stubbornness, and one in which he risked his life for a group of radicals running on hope that would never come to fruition.

He sighed, “If she so much as twitches…”

Ellie began to choke and snarl, flailing her hands like one of the infected. It pressed all their buttons.

“Don’t,” Tess and Y/n said in synchronization.

Ellie stopped, nervously rubbing her neck, “Yeah, okay…”

“Okay?” Tess asked her partner.

Joel glanced between Y/n and Ellie, then sighed. “Okay.”

Without another word, Tess, Joel and Y/n began packing up their gear. Ellie followed their lead, spotting Joel’s rifle. “Can I have a gun?”

“Absolutely not,” Joel replied.

“No,” Tess said.

“Not happening,” Y/n finished.

“Okay, fine,” Ellie’s voice went higher, “I’ll have to throw a fuckin’ sandwich at them.”

Joel pushed the bookcase he’d used to barricade the door aside and peeked out the door. “It’s clear,” he reported.

Y/n walked ahead of Ellie and let the sun hit her. Boston had been cold lately and the warmth was a treat.

“Whoa,” Ellie whispered behind her, she’d never seen or felt the freedom being outside the Wall brought.

“Yeah, looks different in the daylight huh?” Tess said with an almost smile.

There was beauty interlaced with the destruction. Vines twined around crumbling buildings. Grass growing around deserted cars. People theorized the apocalypse would look like blood and destruction, but survival wasn’t so black and white.

“We should get movin’,” Joel said, breaking Y/n from the first near-pleasent thought she’d had all morning.

The four of them walked through the city in a row, Ellie tried to keep pace while also taking in her surroundings.

“It’s like a fucked up moon,” she observed, wandering to look at one of the explosion sites, “Is this where they bombed?”

“Yeah,” Tess answered, “They hit most of the big cities like this.”

Maybe Tess could talk about it with some degree of separation, but Y/n and Joel kept painfully silent. They’d seen the destruction and didn’t want to deal with Ellie’s marveling at it. As Tess stopped to explain history to the girl, they kept moving.

They all came to a pause when they saw their route blocked by the remnants of a building.

“So, the State House is across there,” Tess said, “It’s about a ten minute walk if you could go straight.”

“So?” Ellie questioned.

“Long way or short way?” Joel asked.

“I mean, it’s the long way or the “we’re fuckin’ dead” way,” Tess replied.

“Well, I vote long way, based on that limited amount of information,” Ellie spoke up, “Y/n?”

Y/n inhaled to give her opinion when Joel spoke up. “We should check it from the hotel first.”

“That hand’s not broken yet,” Y/n recalled, “I’d be happy to remedy that.”

“Okay,” Tess said, breaking up the fight and taking the first steps. For two people who had survived twenty years in an infectious wasteland using nothing but their survival skills, Y/n and Joel brought out the child in each other. Once upon a time, that had been a good thing. Now, each petty comment felt like throwing a plastic knife and expecting it to kill.

———————————

They’d been walking an hour when they got to the interstate. Tess and Ellie were at the front, while Y/n and Joel were moving slower and bringing up the rear.

The curse of knowing someone so well is that even if you despised them, there was still safety in being around them. Y/n still wanted to throttle Joel and he didn’t want to be in a hundred mile radius of her. But it was better to be in the company of an enemy you knew rather than one you didn’t. Hatred couldn’t one-up their history.

“What did Marlene mean when she said you weren’t ready?” Joel eventually inquired.

“None of your business,” Y/n grunted as she stepped over a stray tire.

“It is if you’re gonna be a liability,” Joel replied.

Y/n scoffed, “Marlene says a lot of things. She’s not always right.”

While it was true, Joel had been more than surprised that Y/n had raised her gun so effortlessly at him, he could read in between the lines. Y/n had never had good followthrough. The Cordyceps had forced them all to adapt, but he sincerely doubted she could take a necessary shot.

“Stop doing that,” Y/n snapped.

“Doing what?”

“Stop thinking you’ve got me figured out,” Y/n sneered, “You have no fucking idea who I am anymore.”

Joel simply scoffed, that was only a half truth.

“Okay, Cowboy Joe,” Y/n remarked, the nickname earning a glare, “I don’t remember you being so quick with the murder,” Y/n decided to hit a little harder, “Or the drugs. Or the smuggling.”

Joel threw his arm out in front of Y/n to stop her, “Would you have rather I let him shoot us?”

Y/n inched her face closer to Joel’s, “I’d rather you fucking forget that we ever knew each other, cause this,” she gestured between them, “Hasn’t mattered for twenty years. We do this, and then you can go back to dealing pills and shoveling shit,” she trembled with anger and lowered her voice, “And we will never, ever have to see each other again.”

Joel thinned the close proximity even more, the last time they’d been this close had been under much different circumstances. “It’s forgotten,” he growled.

“Good,” Y/n whispered, her lips pursed as she turned on her heel and marched off.

Denial was a hell of a thing, but forgetting what they’d meant to each other was going to take something much stronger…

“Everyone said the open city was crazy,” Ellie mused as Y/n and Joel caught up, “Like, swarms of Infected, running around everywhere.”

“Not exactly like that,” Joel commented.

“People who’ve never seen outside like to make up a lot of shit,” Y/n added.

“So there aren’t Super-Infected that explode fungus spores at you?” Ellie asked.

“Shit, I hope not,” Tess answered, at least she had a sense of humor about all this.

“Or ones with split-open heads,” Ellie continued to earn her education, “That see in the dark like bats?”

The adults fell silent, Tess and Joel shared a look before she glanced at Y/n. Between the three of them, they’d seen the full spectrum of the abilities Infected possessed.

Like a sick joke, a distant yell echoed through the open highway. There was nothing in sight and it was impossible to tell where it had come from.

“What was that?” Ellie asked.

Joel tensed up, “Let’s keep movin’.”

————————

Once they got to the hotel, they had to get in to the hotel.

Joel shoved open the once-automatic doors and they walked in. The place had flooded, the waters that filled the lobby a mossy green shade.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Ellie exclaimed, her eyes widening as she took it all in, “You ever stay in a place like this?

“Uh, no,” Tess answered, “A little out of our league.”

“Once,” Y/n followed, “School trip to Pennsylvania.”

“How do you even know what this is?” Joel asked.

“Have you ever heard of books?” Ellie shot back.

Joel stepped down into the water, letting the sass float past him.

Ellie suddenly became hesitant, “Wait, are we going in there?”

“Yeah, we gotta get to the stairwell on the other side,” Tess replied.

“Well, I, I don’t know how to swim,” Ellie said, nervous.

Joel watched, unimpressed, from the lobby steps. “Seriously?”

“Do you think we have pools in the QZ?” Ellie retorted.

“No, smart ass. I mean,” Joel threw a leg out and hopped off the last step. The water barely hit his thighs.

“I don’t know how I was supposed to know that,” Ellie mumbled, treading into the waters with Y/n behind her.

Joel and Y/n’s argument on the highway had left her quiet. She’d been forced to change to survive the new way of life, but the memories Joel’s mere presence brought up reminded her of who she used to be. How care free, how light, how enthusiastic she’d been…she’d taken a job at a hardware store just because she liked getting to talk to people. Her old self had just become another person to mourn.

She snapped back to reality, she refused to let Joel Miller, of all people, make her fee bad about who she was.

“Hey,” Tess spoke softly, “She’s a good kid.”

Y/n glanced up at Ellie, who was wading through the water to get to the check-in desk. She enthusiastically rang the bell, “Ding! Ding!”

“Yeah,” Y/n bit back a smile, “She is.”

“Yes, sir,” Ellie played, “I would like your finest suite please,” she deepened her voice, “Yes, ma’am. Would you like me to take your luggage? Yes, ma’am,” she took hold of the luggage cart, “Right away, ma’am.”

Joel, who had lost his sense of humor over a decade ago, was done with Ellie’s excitement. “You’re a weird kid,” he remarked.

“You’re a weird kid,” Ellie repeated, a body falling out from behind the cart, “Oh, fuck me!”

Joel and Y/n had their guns drawn and were rushing over. The two of them examined what turned out to be a skeleton. Joel nudged its skull sideways with his boot, like there was a chance it was still alive and kicking.

“Uh, sorry,” Ellie nervously smiled.

Joel extended a hand to pull her up, retracting it as soon as she was on her feet. He caught Y/n rolling her eyes at him as they walked off. At this point, she was convinced he was acting like an asshole purely because he could.

The group climbed the four flights of stairs, the adults huffing and puffing while Ellie stayed as unbothered as ever.

“Fuck, holy shit,” Tess panted.

“Come on, it wasn’t that bad,” Ellie remarked.

“You try climbing ten fuckin’ floors with our knees,” Tess replied, “See how you feel.”

Y/n and Tess drifted and fell back in line with their assigned partners. While Y/n was glad Ellie and Tess had found camaraderie, she was selfish enough to not want it to come at the expense of being stuck with Joel.

They came up on what should have been their walkway, but it was blocked by a barricade of bricks and cinderblock. Joel and Tess tried the doors on each side of them, no luck.

“All right,” Tess calculated their options, “Well, I mean, maybe I could climb up there. Work my way around and open it from the outside?”

Ellie stepped forward, “Uh, no, well, I’m the smallest, so it’d be easier for me to get through.”

Y/n was quick to grab Ellie’s backpack handle, “Yeah, that’s not happening. We know what’s out there, you don’t.”

That caught Joel’s attention. When had she been sneaking out of the QZ?

“Can you give me a hand?” Tess asked of her partner.

Y/n pulled Ellie back before Joel could move her out of the way. He helped Tess up and stepped back. “You good up there?”

“Yeah, it’s a bit of a mess,” Tess reported, “So I’m gonna need a few minutes.”

It turned out, removing Tess was like removing a safety barrier for them all. Joel and Y/n sat on opposite sides of the hall, trying to keep as much space between them as possible. Ellie pulled out her pocketknife and started casually flipping it.

“Nice knife,” Joel said, trying to be cordial. Y/n was getting whiplash from his mood swings. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

Ellie didn’t flinch in her retort, “The circus.”

Joel sighed, looking away from both of them. This was him trying to be somewhat friendly, though it still came off as being put out.

Ellie, on the other hand, was better at small talk. “Where are you from?”

“Texas,” Joel answered.

“Y/n said she knew your brother,” Ellie replied, “So you all lived in Texas?”

Y/n took a breath, Joel watched her. “That’s right,” he said.

“What about Tess?” Ellie asked.

“Detroit,” Joel answered, “It’s in Michigan.”

“I go to school,” Ellie shot back quickly, “I know where Detroit is.”

Silence fell again over the threesome, eagerly awaiting Tess’ return.

“So,” Ellie started talking again, “Are you two, like, a-“

“Pass,” Joel cut her off.

“How’d you end up in Boston?” Ellie pushed, it was becoming a game for her.

“Pass,” Joel answered, “No more questions about me.”

Clever as ever, Ellie found a work around. “Okay,” she turned to Y/n, “Were you and him a-“

“Nope,” Y/n said quickly, it was more a denial of an answer than an answer itself.

Ellie sighed, trying to think up something else. “How long do Infected live?”

Joel mockingly shook his head, “Oh, I thought you went to school.”

“It’s a really shitty one,” Ellie replied.

Joel smirked, he could appreciate the girl’s wit under different circumstances. It rivaled his own. “Well, some last about a month or two,” he answered, “But there’s other’s been walkin’ around ‘bout twenty years.”

“Ever kill one?” Ellie asked, still fiddling with her knife.

“Yeah, I killed lots of ‘em.”

Y/n stiffened, hoping if she stood still, the conversation would move right past her.

“Was it hard?” Ellie continued, “Like, knowing they were people once?”

It took all the strength Y/n still possessed to not let her emotions show. To not let the nightmares take her over. She didn’t have time for them.

No matter how hard they argued that they were strangers, Joel could sense her discomfort. Her experiences with Infected were one more thing he didn’t know about her now.

“Sometimes,” he said, watching Y/n as her eyes stayed closed in concentration.

“What about that guy last night?” Ellie kept going.

A well-timed thump excused Joel from answering, him and Y/n jumped to attention.

“You can put the gun down, Joel,” Tess grunted through the wall, straining to open one of the locked doors.

“Where to?” Y/n asked.

Tess’ grim expression led them out to the hotel’s balcony, she pulled back the vinyl curtain and let them walk out onto the terrace. Ellie gained traction on the ledge’s decor and climbed to the edge. Joel and Y/n ended up on each other’s side.

Y/n’s stomach dropped at the sight beneath her.

Dozens upon dozens upon dozens of Infected lay fifty feet below them in a heap. Their sickening shrieks bounced off the buildings as they crawled and thrashed aimlessly.

“There’s so many,” Ellie gasped.

“The last time we were here,” Tess said, “They were still deep inside the buildings. Then I guess enough people came through looking for the QZ, they went inside seeking shelter…and that’s how they get more and more of the city, bit by bit, every year.”

Y/n watched through dead eyes as the horde began to move as one. She hadn’t seen this many in a long time, long enough for the sight to feel fresh. She stopped listening to Ellie and Tess’s conversation and focused on her breathing to battle the nausea, in through the nose, out through the mouth…

Joel saw it all, and he knew better than to ask. Marlene was right; she wasn’t able to handle the journey on her own.

“So we’re not going that way,” were the first words Y/n could hear again.

“No,” Tess answered Ellie.

“What do we do then?” Ellie asked, her eyes widened with fear, “Short way?”

Tess and Joel shared a look, his hands fidgeted as he thought through their route. “Museum.”

—————

TYL Taglist: @bachiracore @stolenxkissess @kayleezra @the-wistful-reader @allthesesonsofbitches @goth-detectives365 @trippovert @rh1nestonecowg1rl @emiliaserpe @khaleesihavilliard @frietiemeloen @gracie7209 @dorck26 @thegirlnextdoorssister @alanis-altair @mariwinns16 @whosscruffylooking @endofthexline @alexiaricciardo @eonnyx @pedrosmexicangf @scarlettequinn @ao-sleepy @toinfinityandbeyonce2 @deanlovescassie @turmoil-ash @sorrowjunky @kpopslur @xxlilyxx90

Joel Miller Taglist: @xsnak-3x @xmoonknightlyx @simplybarnes @stolenxkissess @mandoshoney @alexiaricciardo @eonnyx @deanlovescassie @paintlavillered

[mrworldwideshoulders]

can’t take my eyes off of you || reader x kth

Pairing: reader x KTH Word count: 5.1k Rating: M / R (18+) Genre: one night stand, smut, pinch of fluff Summary: It was supposed to be a girls’ night out. So what are you doing here by yourself, and why has the guy across the bar set his smoldering gaze on you of all people? Inspired by Runaway Baby - Bruno Mars.  Warnings: alcohol consumption, penetrative sex (protected of course), orgasms, big dicc!tae (my god), reader is a blushing mess (and so am I jfc) A/N: this took forever for some reason (even though it was totally supposed to come out sooner T_T) but it’s finally here (and just in time)! first attempt at real smut so this is probably a mess but enjoy anyway >.< as always beta'd and bannered by the amazing april (@onmypillow-onmytable). thx! ly - robyn P.S. I do not own BTS or their likenesses, nor do I own the music of Bruno Mars (lol), they simply inspire me. 

inspo playlist here

part of the doo-wops, hooligans, and unorthodox magic collection (masterlist)

“Should we take this somewhere more…private?” That deep, velvety-smooth voice again, a whisper that brushes lightly against your ear. 

You awaken with a start, eyes roving around, attempting to make sense of your surroundings. That is definitely not the ceiling of your apartment above you. Everything is unfamiliar: everything from the sheets to the art on the walls to the handsome stranger in bed next to you. He’s asleep, a flop of messy hair sweeping over his delicate, almond-shaped eyes. His arms wrap around you, as if he’s hugging a pillow to his chest – as if he’s afraid you’ll disappear. You only have to look at him to remember that it was his voice in your head. Who is he? And how did you get here? Memories of what must have happened last night flood into your brain, though somewhat obscured by the fog that comes with heavy drinking and other bad decisions. 

The bar. You remember getting to the bar. What happened afterwards? You were supposed to meet your best friend Hyejin, but she cancelled on you at the last minute, something about how her younger brother was visiting on surprise leave from the military. "I'm sorry, y/n!" she'd wailed into the phone. "I had no idea Jun was going to pull something like this. I was literally walking out the door when he showed up, and he's only in the city this weekend, so our parents will kill me if I don't take him out to dinner at least once." 

You sigh, only slightly annoyed. "It's fine, Hyejin. He's your brother. I understand." 

"Not that I don't appreciate the thought, but aish, I could just kill him sometimes. Will you be all right by yourself?"

You glance around the bar, which is starting to get noisier as more people fill in. "I'll be fine. I'll probably just have one drink and then go home. Since I’m already here."

Hyejin blows you a raspberry. "Boring! And we were going to get you laid tonight, too. Finally break that dry spell of yours. All because my brother decides he just has to surprise me this weekend."

"Jin!" you hiss, cheeks flaming. You’ve never been the casual hookup-one night stand type, and she knows that. Why is she so hellbent on getting you laid?

"It's true!" she insists. "It’s been months since you’ve gotten any. Y/n, please promise me that you won't just have one drink and go home. Have two drinks. Three, even. Give excitement a chance to unfold. Maybe get yourself something – or someone – special?" You can almost picture her waggling her eyebrows on the other end of the phone. 

You roll your eyes. “I’m hanging up on you.” 

“Okay, okay. Promise you’ll tell me all the gory details at lunch tomorrow?”

“I doubt they will be in any way gory or interesting, but fine. I’m really hanging up on you now, Jin. Have fun with your brother.” 

“Be safe, y/n. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, and don’t forget to use protection!” You can hear the mischievous grin in her voice.

You let out a disgusted groan, and hang up without another word, sighing as you stare down into your nearly empty cosmopolitan. Hyejin is right. It's been what, almost six months since you found your boyfriend in your bed with another woman? You still miss the sheets you’d had to throw out after you kicked him out of your apartment. The whole experience was enough to put you off dating permanently – but you can’t deny you have your own needs. You’re a grown woman, after all, and there’s only so much your vibrator can do for you. You finish off the last of your cocktail and order another, fully intending to leave once it’s gone. There will be other nights, and other men, and you’d much rather do this when Hyejin is around to keep you from embarrassing yourself too much. 

The bartender sets a fresh glass down in front of you. “Compliments of the gentleman over there.” He nods toward the end of the bar, where what may very well be the most attractive man you’ve ever laid eyes on is sitting. Dark hair falls in a swoop over one eye, and his shirtsleeves are rolled up to reveal a set of toned forearms. An expensive-looking watch rests on one wrist, completing the full image. He nods at you, winks, and raises his glass of red wine. You raise your own in return. 

First and last time that’ll ever happen, you think to yourself, sipping on your drink. The clamor of the bar builds, and you sit there alone, not quite sure what to do with yourself. You tug at the hemline of your dress: short, spaghetti strapped, uncomfortable, thinking of the sweatpants you’re going to change into immediately upon returning home, the shows from this week that you need to catch up on, and then maybe you’ll fall into bed at a reasonable hour, waking up just early enough to squeeze in a workout and a shower before you have to meet Hyejin for lunch and tell her all of the non-details of your non-adventurous evening. Boring, routine, and comfortable. A glance tells you the man at the end of the bar is still staring at you. You try to ignore him, but his eyes are still laser-focused on you. You shift uncomfortably.

Just who does this guy think he is?

You down the last of your cosmo and vacate your stool, making sure not to wobble in your heels as you march toward him. He watches you approach with what seems to be great interest. "You," you demand, pointing a finger at him. "Why do you keep staring at me?"

He holds your gaze, almost defiantly. He doesn’t even flinch at your accusing finger. "I like looking at pretty things," he says, his mouth quirking up at the corners in a smirk. "Can you blame me?"

You're not sure whether to feel flattered or creeped out, but your mouth speaks for you before you can even think about it. "What, so I'm a thing now?"

"Is that so bad?" he questions. "To be the object of someone's admiration?" His eyes darken as they look you up and down. 

You feel bare. Exposed. Like he's seen something about you that you've never even seen yourself. “What if I don’t want to be an object?” you challenge. ”What then?” 

“Hm. I don’t know,” he says. He seems amused. “I’m sure we could figure something else out.” 

“Who are you, anyway?” you ask, narrowing your eyes. 

"I'm Taehyung." The name rolls off his tongue. "But you can call me Tae. Yours?"

You hesitate. "Buy me another drink and maybe I'll tell you," you say finally. 

Taehyung smiles. Challenge accepted. He motions the bartender over, who looks between both of you questioningly. "You heard her," he says. "Whatever she's having."

You slide onto the barstool next to him, and the bartender sets another cocktail in front of you. "So," you start. "Hasn't anyone ever told you it's rude to stare at people?"

"They have. It's never stopped me before, though." Taehyung takes a sip of his wine. “You still haven’t told me your name, by the way.” 

“Y/n,” you say after a momentary pause, debating whether or not you should give him a fake one. “It’s y/n.” 

“Y/n,” he repeats. Your name sounds different when he says it. “A pleasure.” 

Your cheeks warm, though you’re not sure if it’s the liquor or his gaze. "What brings you out by yourself tonight, then?" you ask. “Surely someone like you has plenty of places he could be on a Friday night, instead of sitting by himself in a bar, staring at unsuspecting women.” Handsome. Seemingly well-rounded. Fairly charming. 

"Hmm,” he muses. “I’m an artist of sorts, but I’m feeling a little…blocked at the moment, so I guess you could say I'm looking for inspiration." 

“You’re an artist?” you say. “I never would have expected that.” A closer glance at his hands reveals a few stray flecks of paint around his nails.

“I get that a lot.” He chuckles. “I guess I don’t really look the part, do I?” The corners of his eyes crinkle with the boxy smile that emerges from his laugh. 

“Well,” you say, resting your chin on your palm. “Mr. Artiste. How’s the search for inspiration going?” 

"Between you and me," he says, turning to you, one elbow leaned against the bar, "I'd say it's looking fairly promising. But…” Taehyung looks you straight in the eyes. “I could ask the same of you. Y/n, what’s a beautiful woman like yourself doing alone at the bar on a night like this?”

“You flatter me.”

“It’s true.” He shrugs. "Anyone can see that you're positively captivating."

Your ex never would have told you anything like that, not in the months before things ended. Your ears tingle. "At least someone thinks so." 

“Why do you say that?” he asks.

“Where do I start?” You stare down into your glass, running a finger around the rim. You shake your head. “Ah, don’t listen to me. I don’t want to bore you with complaining about my asshole ex.” 

“Whoever he is, or was,” says Taehyung, gently turning your head to look at him, “it’s his loss. He has no idea what he’s missing out on.” 

"You just met me five minutes ago," you say. "How could you possibly know that?"

"Well," he says, the corner of his mouth twitching, "I get the feeling I'm about to find out."

Oh my god. Oh. My. God. You take a deep breath in an attempt to keep yourself from panicking. What did you do last night? What are you supposed to do now? Your memories are still blurry, but one thing is for certain: you’ve got to get out of here before he notices you’re gone. Hoping he doesn’t wake up, you extricate yourself gingerly from his grip and edge gently to the side of the bed, holding one of the blankets to your chest while you scan the floor for your clothes. As you’re about to stand up, a hand suddenly locks around your wrist in a firm grasp. You look over your shoulder. Taehyung’s eyes are open now, his gaze fixed on you. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” he demands. His voice stops you in your tracks. Even half-asleep he sounds like the type of person who’s used to getting what he wants. "Did you think I wouldn't notice you trying to disappear on me?"

“I was just…” You clear your throat. Your cheeks burn. What exactly are you planning on telling him? Leaving? Looking for the bathroom? Going on a coffee run and never coming back? You can’t make yourself finish the sentence. It's as if his gaze has caused your brain to short-circuit.

Taehyung sits up, the bedsheet draped tantalizingly low across his hips, the firm planes of his lower abdomen taking your mind somewhere it shouldn’t. “Don’t tell me you’re getting shy on me now.” He dips his head at the blanket covering your breasts. “Especially not after everything you begged me to do to you last night.” He smirks.

Your face flames even hotter. “Um – I…I don’t —” 

“You don’t remember?” he says. “Hm. And what should we do about that?” An arm wraps around your waist, pulling you back toward him. “Should I give you a refresher?” he whispers into your ear. “I’m ready whenever.” 

“I can tell,” you say breathlessly. You can feel him pressing against you – every inch of him. 

Taehyung kisses you, just behind your ear, letting his teeth graze the outside of it, planting a trail of blooming kisses down your neck and across your shoulder. “Anything?” His voice is low and dark, filled with lust. “Or should I continue?” 

“It’s coming back to me,” you exhale. Don’t stop. Please.

The brick wall outside scrapes against your shoulder blades, the cold night air making you shiver slightly. His lips are on yours, on your neck, trailing down across your bare collarbone, each one burning more than the next until you’re completely aflame. The front of his shirt is clenched in your fists, the only thing keeping you from sliding down to the pavement. But he pulls away, and you let out a frustrated huff. A crowd of people leaving the bar walks past, chattering loudly, and Taehyung’s hand is suddenly on the wall next to your head, his arm out to shield you from anyone’s view. He’s biting his lower lip, dark eyes glinting. “You have no idea how much I want to just take you right here, right up against this wall.”

“So do it then,” you breathe. "Take me. Fuck me right here in this alley.” You don’t know what you’re saying. All you know is that you want his hands back on you, right now, so you guide them toward your waist. 

“So eager.” He smiles. “But not here. I want to be the only one who hears you scream tonight.” Taehyung’s voice lowers to a whisper as he leans in. “Should we take this somewhere more…private?” He tilts your chin up to look him in the eye. “Last chance to say no.” 

“Is there a reason I should?” You look up at him through your lashes. 

“Not in my opinion.” Taehyung smirks. “So what’s it going to be?”

You're barely inside the door of his apartment before his hands are on you again, fumbling for the zipper of your dress, eventually giving up and yanking the whole thing over your head. "Hey, be careful," you giggle between kisses, working at unbuttoning his shirt. "That dress was expensive."

"I'll buy you a new one," he says, flinging it away so you don't see where it lands, nimble fingers moving to unhook your bra, an uncomfortable strapless push-up you only ever wear to make your tits look good. “I’ll buy you ten new ones." He tosses the bra over his shoulder as well. "God, you’re so fucking beautiful.” He hoists you up, palming your ass with those massive hands of his, letting your legs wrap around his waist. You buck against him, needing the friction to lessen the ache between your legs. “Fuck, y/n,” he growls. “I can’t control myself around you.” 

“I don’t care,” you say, gasping as he presses you up against the wall. “I don’t fucking care.” You’re moving again, down a hall to another room. The bedroom. 

Taehyung tosses you down roughly on the bed. He looms over you, his eyes nearly black with desire. “Stunning,” he says. “Absolutely stunning. Now that I’ve got you all to myself…I might never let you go. I’m going to ruin you, y/n.” He snaps the waistband of your underwear. “Are you all right with that?” 

“Why are you still talking?” You pull him down toward you and kiss him, pushing the unbuttoned shirt all the way off his shoulders. “Go ahead and do it already. Ruin me. I’m all yours.” 

"That's right," he says, dropping another kiss on your lips. "You're all mine, baby. Just for me.” His lips trail down, a waterfall of kisses running through the valley between your breasts, down your stomach, stopping just above your hips, where he deftly slides off your underwear and tosses them aside. “Are you ready?”

You nod wordlessly. “I’m ready.”

“Good.” He’s gorgeous, standing there in the moonlight. He leans over you, reaching for something in the bedside table, enveloping you in his scent: sandalwood and bergamot, hints of pine. You hear the crinkle of a condom wrapper. 

“Wait.” You stop him before he can put it on. “Let me. Please, Tae. I want to.”

“You want to touch me?” Taehyung smirks. “Even better.” He hands you the unwrapped condom. “I’ll let you do the honors.” 

You draw in a breath and roll the condom up his cock: thick, heavy, already wet with precum. It’s bigger than you imagined, especially in your hands – in fact, massive might be a better word for it.

He groans as you move slowly up the shaft. “Y/n…” 

“What?” you tease. “Something wrong?”

“It’s not every day I have your pretty little hands wrapped around my cock.” He grins. “I’m just enjoying the ride.” 

"Oh, these hands?" you ask innocently, running a finger down his length.

"Fuck," he exhales. He leans down, bringing his face inches away from yours. “You trying to kill me?” God, this man knows how to use his mouth. And his fingers. He traces one long index finger down your drenched center, teasing at your entrance. “So wet for me already,” Taehyung marvels. “It won’t be long now.” 

“Tae…” you whine, biting your lower lip.

“Say please.” 

You inhale sharply. “Please.” 

“Good girl.” He slips another finger inside you, circling your clit. It’s so swollen and sensitive he barely has to touch it before you let out a soft moan. "Talk to me, sweetheart. Tell me what you need." 

"I need you," you gasp. "Need you inside me. Right now."

Taehyung gently touches your face. “Not yet, baby,” he coaxes. “Wait for me. Just a little while longer.” He settles himself between your legs, the tip of his cock pressing against your core. You close your eyes, sucking in your bottom lip, gasping slightly as he slips inside, feeling yourself stretching to accommodate him, shifting your pelvis to take on even more. You feel full. Warm. Good. It feels good. 

“Fuck,” you breathe. He’s huge. 

“Are you okay?” he asks. “Can I move?” 

You nod earnestly. “Move, Tae. For the love of god, fucking move.” 

He rocks into you, slowly at first, then faster. “God, you feel amazing. How is it possible that you’re so amazing?” 

“Show me,” you demand. “Show me how good I make you feel.” 

“Whatever you want, baby. I’ll give it to you.”

“Harder,” you pant. “I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t see straight. I want to see stars. Constellations. The whole damn solar system.”

“Happy to oblige.” Taehyung smiles. His thrusts intensify, leaving you teetering on the edge, fists clenching the sheets underneath you. You cry out, the pressure of your impending orgasm nearly too much to bear. He touches your cheek. “Wait for me,” he commands. “Almost there. Almost.” 

“I can’t,” you whimper. “I’m going to –” 

He silences you by touching a finger to your lips. “Shh,” he whispers.

That moment seems to last forever, building, building – until finally, the dam bursts. Pure, white hot adrenaline, the passion, the desire, all setting off fireworks behind your eyes. Your nails dig into his back as you hang on, seemingly for dear life. He comes undone with a groan, spilling himself inside of you as the force of your climax hits you like a tidal wave. 

He collapses onto the mattress, panting slightly, and presses a kiss to the side of your forehead. “Fuck. That was…”

“Really something,” you finish. Your heart is still racing. 

“You could say that.” Taehyung chuckles. 

“I haven’t come that hard since…ever.” 

“Never?” He turns his head to look at you, one eyebrow raised. 

You think back. “Maybe once. But it’s been a really long time.” 

“So definitely better than your ex?” he teases. “I’ll take it.” 

“That’s it? You’re easily satisfied.” 

His arm snakes around your waist, pulling you toward him. “No. I’m not. Not usually. So you’d better be careful or…”

“Or what?” 

Taehyung smiles, eyes closed, almost half asleep already. “Hmm.” He hums gently. “I just might fall in love with you.” 

“So,” he says, his low voice bringing you back to the present. “Where were you running off to in such a hurry just now?” 

“Uh…” What was it you were about to do? You were looking for something. Clothes. You were looking for your clothes. “My dress. I need my dress.”

“Oh, that,” Taehyung says dismissively. “I think we left it somewhere near the kitchen. Along with, well…” He peers around at your face, grinning. “Everything else.” He’s still pressed up against you. 

Your senses come rushing back, and you pull away. “Look,” you babble. “I don’t normally do this kind of thing, and last night was…great, but —”

“I’d like to think it was more than just great,” he shrugs. “Phenomenal. Earth-shattering. Damn near amazing. But call it what you like.” 

“I’ve really got to go,” you blurt. “I have an…engagement.” Lunch. With Hyejin. Right. What time is it, anyway? 

“Ah.” If he’s disappointed, he doesn’t show it. “Of course. Don’t let me stop you.” Taehyung cocks an eyebrow wolfishly. “Unless you’d like me to.”  

"Uh, no. That’s all right." How does he do that? How does he know how to fluster you with a single look? You keep the blanket wrapped around you while you pad into the kitchen, where you find your dress in a mound on the floor. Wrinkled. Of course. You sigh and pick it up. The daylight allows you a better look at the rest of his apartment, one that you didn't get the night before. The front room is high-ceilinged, exposed brick and tall windows overlooking the street below. Your eyes linger on the canvases leaned up against one wall, the easel with the cloth-covered painting on top of it. Or you would assume there's a painting under there; you can't exactly see it, but it would only make sense. "So he is actually an artist," you say to yourself. 

"Of course I am," he says, appearing behind you out of nowhere. "Not exactly the kind of thing I’d lie about." 

You whip around to find him standing there, clad only in boxers and an amused expression. "I don't know. You could have just told me that to make yourself seem more interesting. You wouldn't be the first guy to do it. Women love a man with depth."

"So did it work, then?" He presses his lips together, obviously trying to hide a smile. "Do you think I'm interesting?" 

"Hm." You smile and look down. "Not sure yet. I'll let you know." 

"Please. By all means."

You seem to remember there was something else you were supposed to be doing. "Uh…bathroom?"

"Down there." He points you back in the direction of the bedroom. 

"Thanks." You gather up your things into a pile and shut the door after you, letting out a breath as you lean against it. You dress quickly and fix your hair as much as you can with the comb you keep in your purse, splash some water on your flushed cheeks, then head back into the kitchen. He’s there at the island, scribbling something on a piece of paper. “What’s that?” you say as you approach, still fiddling with the back zipper on your dress that seems to have jammed itself on its way off last night. 

“My number. I realized I didn’t give it to you last night.” He smirks, pushing it toward you. “Just in case you need me.” 

God, he's cocky. You'd be lying if you said you weren't a little into it. “Who says I'll need you?” That’s what you say – but you tuck it into your bag anyway. 

“If you change your mind. Here, let me.” Taehyung gets the zipper unstuck and finishes zipping up the back of your dress. He presses a final kiss lightly against the shell of your ear. “You should go. You have your engagement, don’t you? Wouldn’t want you to be late.” 

"Are you rushing me out?" you say, glancing over your shoulder.

"Oh, you can stay as long as you like," he says. “Just trying to be considerate of your time.” 

"I appreciate that." Suddenly you don't want to go. You’d rather stay here, in bed, in his arms. But that’s not what that is. You don’t know what this is, but you know it’s not how this kind of thing works. You pick up your shoes and walk toward the door. He follows closely behind you. You hesitate, turning back toward him. “I guess this is it, then?” you say. 

“I suppose it is,” he says. 

“Well…thanks,” you say, unsure what to say next. “I had a good time.” You recall the stiff, sore feeling between your legs and sigh internally. You’re going to be feeling this for the next day or two – but regret doesn’t even begin to cross your mind. 

“Until the next one?” He’s still smirking. 

Next time? “Who says there’s going to be a next time?” You cross your arms and look up at him. 

“Just wishful thinking. I would like to see you again, but we can discuss that when the time comes.” He smiles down at you. “Enjoy the rest of your weekend, y/n.” 

Wishful thinking indeed.

You hurry home with just enough time to take a quick shower before you have to go and meet Hyejin for lunch. Your mind wanders to Taehyung several times while you’re waiting at the restaurant: the way his hair fell across his eyes, that squinting, boxy smile of his, his hands, exploring every inch of your body. The way it felt when he—

“Y/n? Y/n, hello? Are you there?” Hyejin is looking at you pointedly. 

You jump. “Yeah. Sorry. My brain stopped working for a minute. Were you saying something?” 

“What happened last night?" Her eyes narrow. "Please tell me you didn’t just have two drinks and go home. Did something happen?” Hyejin raises an eyebrow. 

You consider telling her about Taehyung, but you’re not sure if you could do him justice. “Nothing happened, Jin. And that’s exactly what I did. Two drinks, went home, fell asleep watching Bridgerton.” You redirect your focus to your lunch, the smell of which makes you a touch nauseous.

She crosses her arms and stares you down. “I don’t believe you. You definitely had more than two drinks. You’ve got that look in your eyes that you get when you’re hungover. I’d know it anywhere.” She squints at your right shoulder, right in the crook of your neck and gasps. “Y/n! Is that a hickey?” 

You nearly choke on your water. Shit. How could you have not noticed that? You tug at the neck of your sweater. “Not so loud! I don’t need the entire restaurant knowing I have a hickey! Which I don’t. Because it’s not a hickey. It’s, um—”

“Oh my god, it is! It totally is. Y/n! You got some, didn’t you?” 

“No comment.” Your face burns red hot. 

“Okay, well, based on the fact that you don’t want to tell me, your best friend, about it, it was probably either really good or really bad. And judging by the way you’re blushing…” She leans her chin on one fist. “I’m going to guess that it was really good.” 

"Stop it. You're the worst. The absolute worst." There might as well be steam coming off your face. You lower your voice. "Yes. It was really good. He was hot, thorough, and not clingy at all. The consummate hookup. Are you happy now?" 

"Overjoyed." Hyejin looks far too pleased with herself. "Does this guy have a name?”

“Taehyung.”

“Taehyung,” she repeats. “So. Are you going to see him again?"

You think about his number written on the scrap of paper currently sitting in the change pocket of your purse. In case you need me. "I don't know. Probably not. I mean, that's how one-night stands work, isn't it? Kinda defeats the purpose of the whole ‘one-night’ thing if you see them more than once." 

Hyejin shrugs. "They can. There's no rule that says they have to. You said he's hot. Would you want to see him again?" 

"Well…maybe?” You think about it. The man hasn’t left your mind since you left his apartment. “If the opportunity presented itself? He did give me his number. And he did say he wanted to see me again."

She sighs. "Y/n, I love you. But you might be the dumbest person in the world when it comes to this kind of thing."

"What?" you demand. "What is that supposed to mean? He was probably just being flirty. I doubt he really wants to see me again." 

"Of course he was being flirty. He wants to see you again. He made it a point to give you his number, y/n. Opportunity is literally pounding on your door. Are you just going to let the best sex of your life slip past you when you could seize the day and do something you’ve never done before?” Hyejin leans in. “Look. I know what you’re going to say. You’re not looking for anything serious right now, and I totally get it after what that piece of shit did to you. But why not have a good old-fashioned no strings attached fling? You deserve it. You’re practically a saint for putting up with that asshole for so long. And if this guy isn’t on the same page, then you cut your losses and move on. Simple as that.” 

“Simple as that, huh?” You cross your arms and stare pensively at the table. 

“Honestly.” She shrugs. “If you don’t text him, I will.” 

“Jin, you’re engaged.” 

“Yeah, but I’m not dead, am I?”

You: Hi. It's y/n. You: From last weekend? You: This is Taehyung, right? Taehyung: It is. Taehyung: I was wondering when I’d hear from you. You: And I was wondering when I could see you again. Taehyung: That depends. You: On what? Taehyung: How bad you want to see me.

You rap three times and wait, the silence in the hallway almost unbearable. For a moment you think you’ve made a mistake coming back over here, but then the door swings open, and there he is. Barefooted, in shorts and a baggy, paint-stained t-shirt. A far cry from the way he looked when you met him last weekend, but at this moment you don’t think you’ve ever found anyone more attractive.

He looks you up and down, a satisfied smirk creeping across his mouth. “So you came.”

“Yeah. I did.” Your heart is pounding. “This is probably a bad idea.”

“Uh-huh.” Taehyung nods, leaning against the frame of his front door. His crossed arms draw attention to his rolled-up sleeves, accentuating his biceps. 

“A really bad idea.” Your nails are digging into the palms of your hands. 

“So you’ve established.” He tilts his head to one side. “Still time to leave. Although I won’t say I’m willing to forget it ever happened.” 

You shake your head. You’ve already spent way too much time thinking about this. “No. I want this.” 

“Good, because I do too.” He holds out a hand. “Are you going to come in, then?” 

You put your hand in his, and he immediately tugs you toward him, until you’re mere inches away from each other. His touch is magnetic. Like perfect polar opposites. “Yeah,” you breathe, inhaling his scent. Sandalwood, bergamot, and pine. “I’m coming in.” 

©2022 by @mrworldwideshoulders​

[sleepy-gee]

snowed in - gerard/gn! reader fluffmas ao3

A snow storm blows out the power, leaving you trapped in an ATM vestibule with a certain celebrity crush of yours. (Heavily inspired by that one episode of FRIENDS ngl)

meet cute, plotless/mostly fluff, celebrity/fan dynamic, takes place in '07 read here on tumblr v or on ao3 (link above ^)

"5.. 10.. 15.. 20.. Good." You mutter under your breath, counting the amount you had pulled out from your bank account out loud. One week until Christmas, and there's still lots of shopping to be done. The last stop on your list for the night is a hole in the wall comic store for your younger brother, who's into all sorts of nerdy comic-y things. You have no idea what you're doing or what to get him- Maybe they'll have a cool figurine or something. They only take cash for some reason too, meaning you had to stop by and pull some out.

Although, you're also beginning to wonder if you should go home and do this in the morning- The snow is only getting worse by the minute, and you don't want to risk anything going wrong. The power could go out at any moment- knock on wood- and this vestibule isn't the comfiest. The ATM's are running smoothly, and the doors are functioning with no problem, so things should run smoothly.

You pocket your cash before walking to the front, and pulling the door handle. Clunk. It doesn't open. Maybe it's a push? Clunk. Not a push either. Just as you're about to give the door handle another tug, the lights flicker, before shutting off.

"... Shit-" You grumble, running a hand through your hair. Well, there go your plans for the evening. You spoke too soon, it seems.

“Aw, crap-” An awfully familiar voice sighs from behind you as well. “Guess we’re stuck.”

You only hum in agreement, turning around only to find yourself face to face with Gerard fucking Way.

…

“Holy shit.”

Like many of your friends, you had discovered My Chemical Romance in your late middle school/early high school years and became a massive fan, downloading every song of theirs you could find and buying as many magazines that had them on the cover as your parents allowed you too. Now, a little older and a bit more mature, you grew out of your phase, but the celebrity crushes still remained- Were they as intense as they were when you were 15? No, but certain photos did get your heart fluttering a bit.

Gerard pulled out his phone from the pocket of his trench coat, walking a few steps away before speaking. “Hi, yeah- I’m okay, I’m okay- The power went out and I’m trapped in the vestibule.” He paused. 

Right. You should probably call your own family and let them know where you are. You felt around your pockets, only to remember that you left it at home. Well, shit.

“No, I’m not alone..” Gerard glanced at you briefly. “I don’t know. Some guy.”

“Ha. I’m some guy.. What the hell is wrong with me?”

He spoke a few more brief words before hanging up, then awkwardly clearing his throat and turning back towards you, holding out his phone. “Do you wanna call anyone?”

You took his phone with an equally awkward demeanor, and dialed your moms number- You were supposed to drop by for a family dinner after a quick shopping trip, but the snow decided that you had other plans. After listening to it ring for a while, it goes straight to voicemail. Gerard gives you a sympathetic glance as he takes his phone back, putting it in his pocket.

"I just called my mom from Gerard fucking Way's phone, no big deal at all-" Secretly, you wished your cousin, Sabrina, had answered. She was supposed to be there, too, and was a massive MCR fan a few years ago like yourself. She would've been great to ramble with about this.

Neither of you spoke a word for the majority of the time, the only sound being the violent storm passing by outside. You decided to take a seat against the wall, awkwardly tracing the floor tiles. Gerard had a few other calls, some made and some received- It sounded like Christmas stuff, mostly.

"Busy?" You asked out of nowhere after his third call.

He gave a tired chuckle and nodded. "Yeah.. Christmas is always a big time of year for me. I'm.. I don't want to sound like I'm bragging or boasting, but I'm.. Sort of a musician. A bit big- Too big, if you want my opinion. Always some merchandise bundle scandal to deal with, or a tour that collides with vacation time-" Gerard paused, cheeks going slightly red with embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling."

"No, no, it's okay. I asked, didn't I?" That seemed to calm him down a bit. "I've.. Heard of you before, I think. You're pretty good." 'Heard of you' was putting it lightly, but there's no way in hell you're going to come out as a superfan and risk embarrassing yourself in front of your teen hero.

"Ah.. Well, thanks. I appreciate it. Really." He smiled shyly, gaze still facing the ground. Your heart fluttered again. Jesus Christ. "What about you? You have anything going on?"

"I was supposed to be Christmas shopping. I came out here to pull out some money, but-" You gestured to the window showing off the blizzard outside. "Mother nature decided I had other plans."

"I get that." Gerard stepped closer to you, taking a seat beside you on the floor. Ho ho holy shit- "I wanted to do some shopping myself before I went home.. Came here to pull out some money. There's a comic store nearby that I like that only takes cash for some reason."

That caught your interest. "Spikes?"

He nodded, giving you another soft smile. "Yeah! You've been there?"

"Once or twice.." You brushed a loose strand of hair out of your face. "My brother is really into comics and superheroes and all that stuff.. I figured I'd stop by and see what I could find him. Too bad I don't know the first thing about comics."

"Lemme tell you, as a fellow comic book nerd, a figurine of his favorite character will probably make his day. D'you who or what he likes?"

"Uh.." You paused as you thought. "Really, really big on Iron Man. He can't wait for the movie to come out. Hasn't stopped talking about it since he saw the first few previews."

"Iron Man.." Gerard repeated softly. "Well, he's one of the most recognizable superheroes ever, so I have no doubt you'll be able to find him something Iron Man related. Figurines can get pretty expensive, though.."

".. Will $20 be enough?"

Gerard chuckled like you had just told him a joke. "If they're having a sale.. Maybe."

You chuckled as well, the sound cut off by a shiver running down your spine. With the power off, whatever heating units they had going was also off, and it was getting pretty cold. "You okay?"

You nodded, wrapping your jacket around yourself a little tighter. "I just get cold easily."

Gerard frowned, scooching to the side for a moment to take off his trench coat before settling it over your shoulders. "There."

You mumbled a small thank you, cheeks heating up to an embarrassing degree. Why were you so easy? Who gets flustered from someone giving you their jacket? Maybe since it's Gerard fucking Way-

The two of you continued to exchange a few words here and there, small talk turning into lighthearted and playful conversations. It was a little surreal getting to know him. Yeah, you had read all sorts of articles and watched all sorts of interviews, knew every song lyric by heart, and could drop so many of his iconic quotes into any conversation, but you were able to see who he was off camera. And who that was, was an adorable, loveable bastard with a passion for comics. Who knew he had such a sense of humor?

Your time together came to an abrupt end when the power flickered back on, the ATM’s came back to life and the door unlocked, finally. The both of you stood up, and you gave his coat back, not feeling quite as awkward or shy around him.

"This was a surprisingly good time." Gerard said after putting his coat back on, adjusting the collar around his neck. "Any chance I can get your number so we can meet up again?"

You blanked before nodding. "Uh.. Yeah, yeah.. Sure.."

Gerard smiled. "Awesome." He opened his contacts and handed you his phone, in which you typed your number in with shaking fingers. "I'll, uh, text you soon?"

"Yeah- Totally. I'm free besides the holidays."

"Great." He began to step away, walking towards the front door, before turning towards you at the last moment. "It was nice meeting you."

"Y-You too." And with that, he left. You found yourself needing a moment or two before you left yourself.

...

Sabrina’s never gonna believe this-

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

The One I've Been Waiting For {Part 09 of 13}

Word count: 2.3 K

Summary: Billy Hargrove is just one of the many students you're supposed to help. The last thing you expect from your interaction is that he'll start flirtt with you... Much less that Billy would stir up feelings you'd rather keep hidden. Despite the mutual sentiments that soon enough start to grow, there are a lot of reasons for whatever it is to be left alone, and one of them is your age...

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

A/N: In this story, reader is 5 years older than Billy, who's 18.

•••

A Vision from Hell

 You couldn't drive for a while. When you got behind the wheel the next day, you couldn't do it. So, Billy, Tanya, and Liam took turns driving you through town until you got better. It took a few days, but they were patient with you.

 But the days passed by and you got yourself back together. But today, since you slept at Tanya's, she dropped you at the Hawkins Elementary School, where you tutored a kid. But now, after a small, routine meeting with the principal and some teachers, it's time to go. You're crossing the small parking lot when you see Max chatting with her friends.

 “I gotta go, I'm late.” She tells them, putting her skateboard on the ground and stepping on it. “Billy will be mad.”

 “No, he won't.” You speak up when you're close enough, making the whole party look at you. “I'm going there anyway. Wouldn't mind the company.”

 “Sure.” She shrugs, picking up the skate. “Guys, this is (Y/N). She's... Something of Billy's. Not quite sure yet.”

 “Hi, I'm Dustin.” One of them says, the one with curly hair, shaking your hand. “These other jerks are Lucas, Will. Mike and Eleven.”

 “Eleven? Like the number?”

 “El for short.” The girl nods with a small smile.

 “Alright, let's go.” Max tilts her head and after waving at the kids, you start following her.

 The day is warm, a little hot even, and you take off the light sweater you were wearing, tying it around your waist. You enjoy walking. Well, you enjoy walking here. The small town's slow pace is getting to you, and you like the simple streets and the many trees. Hawkins is a beautiful place, even though sometimes you feel like there isn't much to do.

 “So. You and Billy, huh?” Max asks after a while. “You two are together or what?”

 Blushing, you wonder if she knows Billy has been spending the nights with you. Almost every night, the only exception being when Neil is especially mad because you don't want him to explode at Billy. “We're... Seeing how things play out. Getting to know each other. Hanging out. Stuff like that.”

 “Stuff like that. AKA dating.” She teases, looking at you with a smile. “Whatever it is, it's good for him. He's less of an asshole ever since you came into the picture.”

 That's good to know. “Can I ask you something?” You continue when she nods. “You know I'm a little older than him, right?” Coming back to the same thought is tiring, you know it. But it's still something that hovers above your head. Not as much as before, but it's still there.

 “You're what? Nineteen?”

 “Twenty-three.”

 “You come out as being around his age. And even if you didn't I don't think that's a big deal.”

 “I just don't want it to be weird.” Max is part of Billy's life, and you want to be accepted by her. If she's ok with it, part of you feels relieved.

 “Look, stupid people will find it weird. Stupid people like Neil. But they don't get a say in it.” You reach the High School parking lot, walking around the few people still going home. “Those who really matter, friends and family, those are the ones who will support you, as long as you're happy.”

 “You're very mature for your age.” You tell her with a smile. “Thanks, Maxine.”

 “Call me Max.” She lightly elbows you, throwing the board on the ground and skating the short distance to Billy's Camaro. “Hey, shitface.”

 “You're late. Again.” You hear him saying as you walk around the hood, still out of his sight.

 “I had to walk instead of skating.”

 “Why? This thing is brand new, it can't be broken.”

 “I made her walk.” You say, smiling when Billy turns around to look at you.

 “Then it's you I should be mad at.”

 “I'm not scared of you.” You whisper, heat spreading through your cheeks.

 “Would the two lovebirds give it a break and drive me home before doing whatever you're doing?” Max complains as she gets inside the car.

 Billy's eye roll makes you giggle as you make your way to the passenger seat.

 Keeping the windows open, you feel the wind messing with your hair.

 “Jerkface, why are you driving so slow?” Max asks after a while, on the edge of her seat, leaning forward and holding on to both your and Billy's seat. “Did you wreck your car again?”

 “I'm under the speed limit.” He explains.

 “So you obey the laws now?”

 “I was in an accident I was a kid.” Turning your face to look at her, you gesture at the scar above your lip. “Got this after surgery to fix my wrecked lip. I lost my grandma and little brother that day.”

 “Oh, sorry.” She says, a sad expression on her face. “Drive safely,” Max tells her brother, slapping his arm.

 You wait for him to lash out at her, and by the look on her face, you know she's waiting for it too. But it doesn't come. Billy just rolls his eyes, hanging his arm out the window.

 “God, it's so hot.” The redhead complains as Billy enters their street. “Won't this heat wave go away?”

 “Not so soon. They're planning on opening the pool.” Billy adds.

 “Pool?”

 “Hawkins Community Pool. I worked there last summer as a lifeguard so they gave me a call.” Billy answers as he stops the car and steps out. You do the same but stand by the open passenger door. “They usually open in the Summer they're considering it because of this heatwave.” He gestures at the house. “Come. Neil isn't home, I'll show you the place.”

 “Alright.” Pushing the door close after taking your bag, you follow them through the sidewalk.

 “(Y/N), you're a tutor, right?” Max asks and you nod. “Could you help me? They'll only assign me to someone if I fail.”

 “Sure, I can help you off the records. What do you need help with?”

 “English. I suck and my teacher is definitely evil.” You enter the house as she speaks, looking around.

 “It's not the subject I'm tutoring but I can give you a hand. Just tell me when you're free so we can find a gap in my schedule.” Your eyes fall on the bench press in the middle of the living room, and it screams Billy Hargrove.

 “I'm free right now.” She exclaims.

 “Maxine, don't even think about it,” Billy warns.

 “Look, you're dating a decent, nice girl who is smart. Let me enjoy the benefits.” The girl snaps back, gesturing at the hall. “I'll get my stuff.”

 “Sure.” Smiling, you put your bag on the couch, but it falls and opens, spreading some papers around. “Shit.” You mumble as you kneel to catch them.

 Billy does the same, handing you a small pile of papers at the top of a notebook. “House of the Next Century?” He asks, and you look at the blue sheet of paper on the top of the pile.

 “It's an exposition from the Architecture School.” Putting everything back inside the bag, you stand up. “Liam's sister takes that course so she's involved and invited us.”

 “Sounds interesting.”

 “We can go if you want. But you know what else is interesting? Having a freaking bench press in the middle of the living room.”

 “Oh, you noticed.”

 “How could I miss it?” Walking over it, you check the weights. “Can you really lift those things? They're huge.” Holding the bar, you give a little push, but nothing moves.

 “I can make a show if you want.” Billy moves closer, but his eyes are on you.

 “You're so cocky, Billy.” Blushing, you look away, biting your lip.

 “When are you going to let me kiss you again?” He suddenly asks, taking you by surprise.

 You and Billy haven't kissed since that night, you're not sure why. “I don't know... On some special occasion, maybe.”

 “Special occasion, huh?” He says, a smirk taking over his lips. “I can work on that.”

 “You two can make out later, I need help,” Max speaks, making her way to the kitchen.

 “Duty calls.” Winking at Billy, you turn around and follow Maxine.

 The two of you get the kitchen table, and you have to read a couple of things to pick up what she needs help with. It's not that complicated, and you still remember some things from school, so it doesn't take much until you're explaining to her. Billy comes to the kitchen every once in a while, but as the night falls and after he makes the three of you a sandwich, he sticks around, listening.

 It gets to you that they're doing better. You don't think Billy hates his step-sister, they just annoy each other as all siblings do. And it even makes you laugh sometimes.

 “You could help me with History too,” Max says as she looks for chapter 7 of her book. “And Geography.”

 “I sure can.”

 “Maxine, stop stealing my girl's time.” Billy snaps, and you giggle.

 “I'm not your girl.” With both elbows on the take, a smirk comes to your lips.

 “Ouch!” The girl exclaims. “That must've hurt.”

 “Yet.” You decide to add soon after.

 “On your face, shitbird,” Billy answers, and you can't help but laugh.

 “The two of you are crazy.” You mumble in between laughs. “I really–” You're cut off not by the front door opening, and by the way Billy stands up abruptly, and Max's eyes go wide, you know who it is.

 “I told Anne we'd be joining them on Saturday.” A woman's voice speaks, and you wonder what you should do. Both Billy and Max seem nervous.

 “Alright then. She better make something good or else it'll be a waste of my damn time.” A man says, not sounding very excited about the woman's plans.

 “We have to-” Billy starts, but he stops talking the moment a man comes into the kitchen.

 Neil's eyes find you immediately, lingering for quite a while, flying then to Billy and Max. “Who is this girl in my house?” He inquires in a rude tone.

 “This is (Y/N). She's one of the tutors from the new campus and she's helping me study for the tests.” Max answers, and the woman, Susan, comes to the kitchen as well.

 Unlike Neil, she kindly smiles and walks over to you. “Hello, (Y/N). I'm Susan, Maxine's mother. Thanks for helping her.”

 “No need to thank me. I'm just doing my job.” You shyly say, shaking Susan's hand.

 “Come on, Neil. Let's leave them to do their thing.” Susan turns to face Neil.

 “What about you? What are you doing here?” He asks Billy.

 You can feel anger irradiating from him, and you just want to grab his hand and take him away. The atmosphere is heavy, almost tangible. You can tell Neil is trying not to let it show, but it's obvious. You can feel it. “Got hungry and made myself a sandwich.”

 “Then be a gentleman once in your life and make some for your sister and her teacher.”

 “He already did.” You speak up, way too abruptly, trying not to let your anger show. Under the table, you clench your fists.

 Neil nods exchanging a glance with his son. “Get back to your room then.”

 You shouldn't say anything. You should let it go and talk to Billy after. But you can't. “He's helping us.”

 “He is?”

 “Yes.” Max bursts out, looking at Neil. “He was making questions.”

 Neil doesn't believe it, but after glancing at Susan, he nods. “Alright then.”

 “She was leaving anyway,” Billy says.

 “(Y/N) could stay for dinner, right, honey?” Susan asks Niel with a smile. “To thank her for helping Max.”

 “That would be lovely, but I have somewhere to be.” With a forced smile, you stand up.

 “Me too. I can give her a ride home.”

 “Sure. Thanks, Billy.” Nodding, you walk around the table. “Max, let me know when you're free so we can continue, alright?”

 “Alright, (Y/N). Thank you.”

 “Good night, Mr. and Mrs. Hargrove.” You mutter, heading for the front door and stopping only to take your bag.

 Billy takes a minute to reach you on the sidewalk, and you wonder what Neil just told him. In silence, you both get into the car and you only relax when he drives away.

 “I'm sorry about that.” Billy apologies, eyes on the road. “I thought they'd be out until later.”

 “It wasn't your fault.” Reaching out your arm, you touch his shoulder. “I had a nice time with you and Maxine.”

 “Me too, (Y/N)...”

 There's pain in his voice, and it breaks your heart. “What's wrong?”

 “I don't want you near Neil. I don't want him looking at you as if-” He stops speaking, running a hand through his hair. “Neil has a taste for young girls. He cheats on Susan on a regular basis and I can't have him thinking about you that way.”

 You feel weird, remembering how he stared at you. “I'm sorry. But it doesn't matter now. Let's go home and order a pizza.” You only understand what you said when the words already left your mouth. And when you look at Billy, you see a smile he's trying to hide. So you can't take it back. You'll just let it be if it makes him happy. “I want pepperoni.”

 “Pepperoni it'll be then.”

 “Oh, and I have a request, Hawkins Community Pool lifeguard. Who do I have to pay to have that pool open? I wanna enjoy a free sample of Summer.”

 “I'll see what I can do for you, Princess.” He looks at you with a smile, the one that belongs to you alone.

•••

@aunicornmademedoit @alexa4040 @goth-cowgirl-03 @nyctophilic0vitnir @minispice-1

[ivystoryweaver]

"Upside Down" based on this request by @mintellaine: Miguel married prompt #12 - being a chill couple when there are others around, but getting touchy/freaky behind closed doors

Content: f!spider!reader, fluff, suggestive, lot of kissing, no smut

Word count: 1250

"Welcome to the party," you greeted the new kid, extending your hand.

"Uhh, thanks," the newest spider recruit chimed, returning the handshake.

Gwen bumped their shoulder, introducing you by name. "She's the best," she added, grinning at you. Since Gwen had arrived, you had taken her under your wing (spider legs) and shown her the ropes (webs).

The whole Spider Society thing blew Gwen's mind, and she knew it would be the same for the newest member. You were a much easier person to meet than the big Blue Panther, as Gwen jokingly named him. He didn't like the joke.

Speaking of Big Blue, right then, a portal opened with a whirl of rather sensational, glowing light. A hulking, imposing Spider-Man clad in a reverse color suit appeared to be clawing his way from an unknown dimension back into yours. A dramatic, red, skull-looking spider stretched down the length of his impressively narrow torso.

Standing to his full height, he towered over everyone in the room, especially you. His hands landed on his hips, showing off a set of predatory talons. The slits covering his eyes narrowed as he leaned in with a mild air of condescension.

"Who's this?" He knew who it was.

With a knowing grin, you pushed up on your tiptoes to kiss his mask-covered cheek.

"Guys, this is my husband, Miguel O'Hara," you introduced.

"Pleasure," Miguel chimed, his mask disappearing. Brushing past the three of you, he got right to work, typing away on the orange, holographic computer screens.

"Newest recruit?" He tossed over his shoulder, already pulling up the new spider's file.

You hummed an affirmative, filling him in on a few details of Gwen's new friend.

You and Miguel both knew the implications - what was at stake every time a new spider was introduced into the Spider Society.

"All set up?" He chimed.

"Yep."

You all waited a moment, expecting Miguel to launch into his Very Serious Speech about all things Multi-Verse and Canon Event. Miguel had absolutely no chill whatsoever, but with you, he had found a sense of tranquility.

The thing of it was - he didn't feel calm at all. He had missed you terribly on his latest mission and he wanted these two minions out of here so he could get his hands on you.

Without another glance, he ever-so-casually made his wishes known. "Briefing at 1800 hours. Dismissed."

Gwen eyed you questioningly, wondering how in the hell Miguel O'Hara's dramatic ass wasn't salivating over the chance to descend from his sky-high platform and deliver his Very Serious Speech.

With a wink and a nod, you encouraged them to leave you alone with your husband, casually flipping up to hang from the ceiling as soon as they cleared the door.

Miguel kept right on working, swiping his gloved hands, narrowing his crimson eyes to scrutinize the data.

"Lyla, seal the doors," he commanded, "and leave us alone."

Suspended in the air above your husband, you smiled to yourself.

Lyla snarked out a reply - funny as ever, and, at last, after a week apart, you were alone with your husband.

"You're not gonna make me come up there, are you, mi corazón?" He piped, making you giggle.

You slowly descended to where you were hanging with your face right in front of his - only you were still upside down.

"You don't have to come up here," you breathed against his cheek, gently swinging closer to him. "But you have to kiss me."

He rolled his eyes at the idea of the upside down spider kiss.

"Come onnn, it's a canon event," you pouted, wetting your lips with the tip of your tongue.

"That is such bullshit," he chuckled, even as he stepped forward, planting his feet and reaching up to cradle your head in his strong hands. "Isn't your mask supposed to be halfway on for a canon event?"

"Shut up," you giggled, pressing your lips to his. Warm and soft as ever, you sighed at the feel of him after missing him so badly.

"Come here," he murmured, frowning cutely at the way your little exhale robbed him of your lips. Rubbing his thumbs soothingly over the soft skin of your neck, he shared your breath, making your heightened senses tingle - not from danger, but from anticipation.

Your husband was full of passion - old torments had formed him into a desperate man. Loving you was unexpected...but the chance to wrap his heart up in another -to entangle not only his body but his ambitions and passions with someone who understood: he was hopeless to resist.

"Missed you so much," he whispered, sucking your bottom lip with vigor, "mi hermosa esposa."

He licked slowly into your mouth, frustratingly carefully. Your chest bloomed with warmth and desire as he tasted you, careful to avoid slicing your tongue with his sharp fangs.

Because of his non-retractable fangs, Miguel kissed like the sweetest, most gentle lover, making you tingle all over and your heart burst with love - like the end of a rom com.

That was the only thing he did gently. You knew, as soon as he got riled up, he would not be so tender. But sometimes he kissed you like he didn't know where he wanted to taste next - one sweet lip or another, the heat of your tongue, the roof of your mouth...

You hummed out a breathy affirmation, sucking tauntingly on his top lip, a literal push-and-pull forming between you as your knowing smile halted the brush of lips between you.

"Can't take any teasing today, mi corazón," his husky voice scolded, even as he nibbled once on your chin. Releasing the tender cradle of your head caused you to gently swing backward slightly. Massive arms folded over his chest as he pretended to be done with you.

Having none of that, you fired a sticky web from your wrist, trapping him in place, although you both knew even your strong, organic webbing wouldn't hold him. The corner of his mouth curled knowingly. Willingly, he stumbled toward you, drawn forward by the allure of your eyes, until his mouth was on yours again - this time, hungrier.

Hands on your face, his fingers stroked your upside down jaw line, kissing you for a brief eternity until he couldn't go another second without more.

Breaking your webbed hold on his shoulder, you slid your fingers up over his shoulder, along his neck to tangle in his luscious, dark waves, yanking just enough to pull the tiniest growl from his throat.

His hot, breathy kisses across your jaw caused your breath to stutter. "What do I have to do to get you down from there?" He breathed, teasing the sensitive spot below your ear with the slightest drag of his fangs.

Lowering yourself down his body, you stopped right where the technology of his Spider-suit was being forced to...readjust.

"I don't know - I think this is the perfect position," you teased, stretching your fingers out to trace the tight muscles of his abdomen. "But I can just get down, if - "

"No. No," he admonished, his burning, ruby eyes fixed on the diamond shape of your suspended legs. Reaching out to grasp your gorgeous, thick thighs, he inhaled deeply, nearing the center of you. "Perfect right here."

You never imagined, when that radioactive spider bit you, the absolute delights you would get to experience while hanging upside down.

✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧ ˚ · .✧

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[athousandmorningss]

Some good things:

+ I got a raise for one of my teaching gigs;

+ Got my ~17,000 student loan down to ~11,500 in a matter of a month or so. S/O to the side gig & to my budgeting!;

+ Y’s ex & I have become friends. We are planning to meet in Colorado for a cabin hang. Maybe that’s weird, but I don’t think it is. I think it’ll be healing to meet a person who has had a near-exact experience as me.

+ A previous student emailed me, asking if I’ll be covering a specific course next semester, because they want to take it with me.

+ The state of NM deposited 1,000 into my account unexpectedly. I’m thinking maybe I effed up with my taxes? Whatever the reason: a large chunk of it went to the aforementioned student loan & I’m ganna rent an airbnb with a pool here in a few weeks, because I need to swim badly.

+Making the collage last night was so relaxing & fun. More of that tonight, with some vegetarian nummies & a bottle of wine I’m ganna order for delivery, in hopes the cute delivery guy that usually comes will smile & flirt like he does.

I want to parse some things out related to my ex husband, but will do so under the cut.

I’m ganna detail a situation that happened last year, because it is an example of something I experienced and I’m trying to work through/understand my own response.

Y and I were supposed to watch a football game on a Sunday. He said, I don’t want to miss a work shift, so I’m going to work late Saturday night (he did doordash). I said, Okay.

He did not arrive home until noon or 1 the next day: no call or text to check in with me, and no explanation about arriving home that late. We go down to the bar below our apartment, and he leaves his phone in the apartment. All very fucking odd behavior that had my stomach in knots. We get to bar, and he does not want to talk about work. His behavior is very standoffish and cold. The knot in my stomach tightens even more.

I go up to the apartment and look through his phone. A thing I should not have done (I have nuanced thoughts about this though IDK). I found weird text messages: one in which Y said “I dropped her off at your apartment” and others that were sent to his phone with a food order request.

I want straight to the bar and asked him wtf is going on. He screamed at me, said he was “fucking done with me” and it became a massive fight. Later he revealed that he had helped a homeless woman, given her a ride, etc etc. I still do not fully believe the story, at all.

Beyond that: there’s behavior in this whole scenario that is just fucking weird: staying out until the next day; not checking in with me; hiding that this scenario had even happened etc. 

Y ended up leaving for a neighboring city for a few days and told me I needed to come up with some plans about how I would “improve” my behavior and deal with some of my issues. No consideration at all for his own weird ass behavior

-

& here’s the thing I’m trying to parse: I had many, many experiences in our relationship that caused me to have this gut-knot kind of feeling, this intuitive sense that his behavior was not okay or appropriate. when he would talk to me a certain way, make comments about other women’s bodies, get angry at me, or do shit like the above. So many times when my body was physically screaming THIS IS NOT OKAY. HE Is fucking UP and doing something inappropriate. But, more often than not: I would say nothing. I would conclude that there was something wrong with me, and that he was right. There are so many times in our marriage that he made me uncomfortable, upset etc. but I’d always circle back to believing he is right! you are wrong!

What I’m trying to figure out is: how did that pattern happen? why did I acquiesce so frequently to him? this is also notable because it is a behavior i exhibit a lot, almost all of the time, in my relationships with men.

so I am noting it because I would like to eradicate that trait: and to be able to stand up for and express myself in all areas of my life, especially in my relationships with men. if i ever have one again.

[ignorantarmiesclashbynight]

Oh, this is fun.

Rules: post the first lines of your last 10 fics posted to ao3. if you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics.

Thanks @goldheartedchaoticdisaster for the tag!

1. Integrity Compromised - The Mandalorian

It was Greef who recommended her. Of course he ‘knew a guy’. Or woman, in this case.

“An engineer of extraordinary talent,” Greef had said over the holo-com. And she would have to be, if she was going to be able to handle Mandalorian armour.

2. Loyalty, Divided - Uncharted

“Let’s try this again,” Sully said, stretching his hand across the table. “Victor Sullivan. My friends call me Sully.”

The kid smiled a little at that.

Friends. Don't suppose he has a whole lot of those right now.

3. Brothers and Sons - Red Dead Redemption 2

He watched his daddy hang.

A part of him hoped the old man would end with some kind of pride. Show some spine. Jut his chin at the sky and meet his maker like a man. But the bastard was whimpering by the end.

4. On the Road - The Last of Us

“Your watch is broken.”

She points it out as if he hasn’t noticed.

He almost laughs. Snorts air out his nose, but doesn’t bother to reply. There’d be no way to explain it even if he did. The watch’s face is cracked and the battery died long ago, but it would be like losing a limb to take it off. Some days the weight of it is all that keeps him in the world.

5. The Last Strand - Death Stranding

There’s so much he needs to tell her. So much he’s gonna have to teach her. But what the hell does he know? And where does he even begin?

He starts with the alphabet because even though she can’t speak and doesn’t even know what the fuck a letter is, he figures it’s a fundamental thing you’re meant to teach kids and she seems to like the rhythm and recitation of it as he walks.

6. Red Dead Whumptober - Red Dead Redemption 2

The wire sliced into his skin like a snakebite, its barbs latching on and pulling tight into the flesh of his thigh, his side, his arm, ripping tears into his brand new shirt and all. Dutch’d given him that shirt just last week and he’d be givin’ him an earful for bleeding all over it, too.

7. The Longest Dark - The Mandalorian

He did the math without really thinking. His navi-computer was programmed to sync with the Galactic Standard Calendar, based on the Coruscant solar system, but a little conversion in his head and suddenly the date, and its significance, was embedded in his thoughts.

He tried to shake it off. Nostalgia served very little purpose except to distract you from the present, and besides, there was no one to share it with, so what did it matter?

8.  Babysitting Cassie - Uncharted

Sam fidgeted at the front door, listening to the various noises of family life behind it. Little running feet; Nathan’s voice raised in a teasing kind of threat; that big dumb dog of theirs, barking its big dumb head off; Elena yelling at them all to stop fooling around, then giggling as she presumably got caught up in whatever game they were playing.

9.  A Normal Life - Uncharted

“Look, kiddo. I’d rather do a lot of things than eat my vegetables but you gotta do it,” Sam sighed, as Cassie pouted over her plate.

“They’re mushy.”

“They are cooked to perfection you tiny Gordon Ramsay.”

The pout deepened. “I’m not a gord-damn namsy!”

10. Blood Brothers - Uncharted

 Head for the lighthouse.

They were so close. Sam could see the top of the dilapidated tower jutting up above the cliffside. They were gonna make it. Of course they were. It’s what they did – scrambling and half-assing their way through situations that should have been the end of them. If the Drake brothers had a business card, By The Skin Of Our Teeth would be their tagline.

I have no idea who to tag because I am terrible at who the heck is who on here and Ao3 so if you wanna take this and RB please do!

[sapphirefox1510]

I titled this chapter "A Wizard and their Glowing Plants" and it just brings me some joy. I also figured out the next few parts of this story and it's not how I initially thought it would go, but it works, so I'm happy.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, yes, it was probably wrong of me to use Osirus as an excuse to take a break from work to hang out with my friend. In my defense, I was ahead on my work, and proofreading is boring so. I lead him to Inanna’s tent, where she spends entirely too much time taking care of her cotton plants and experimenting on them. 

“Hiiiii,” I say, entering the tent.

“Hildey! Come here, come here.” Inanna waves me over to a corner of the tent where she’s kneeling by one of the many cotton plants cluttering the room.

“What did you alter this time, ya nerd?” she sticks her tongue out at me.

“I’ve been testing what colors I can make the cotton grow in so we can skip some of the dying processes that dim the color. It didn’t come out as dark as I hoped, but look at this pink.”

“That is a pretty shade; maybe it can be used for decoration rather than symbols.”

“That’s a good idea.” She hops up to scribble that down in one of the notebooks scattered on the table in the middle of the room. “Who are you?”

Whoops forgot he was here. “Inanna, this is Osirus. I’m supposed to be keeping an eye on him for a few hours. Osirus Inanna”

“Hi,” Osirus very dully greets.

“Nice to meet you. You’re not wearing any identifiers. You must be from above ground,” Inanna analyzes him.

“Yeah. You guys are really into those symbols, aren’t you?”

“It’s an easy way to keep track of people; it works much better than what you guys have up there.” She finally gets around to scribbling down the note she wanted to.

“We don’t have anything designed to designate what job people have or who they’re related to.”

“Exactly.”

Osirus turns to me, “Is everyone down here rude?”

“no, you’ve just only managed to run into the snarky people. Which is kind of your fault for following me down here,” I answer with a smug look. He gives me an unamused look at that. 

I feel something tug on my leg and look down to see the little dragon I brought to Ossian. He sinks his claws into my pants and climbs up me again, returning to his place under my collar. “oh, the little menace is back.”

“is that a small dragon?” Inanna asks.

“yeah, they ran to me after seeing Osirus and hid under my jacket collar. I took them to Ozzy, but it looks like they ran away to find me for some reason.”

“Maybe they’ve bonded with you,” Osirus suggests.

“Dragons don’t just bond with people, and the last time I saw this one, they wouldn’t even let me touch them; they just hissed at me.” I wave off his statement.

“It’s possible they think you’re the only safe place here,” Inanna says. “Small dragons always seem to be looking for the safest hiding places.”

“maybe.”

I see the tent flap get pushed aside as another person enters the tent looking down at a piece of cloth. “hey Inanna, I-” he looks up. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t expect there to be other people here.”

“It’s fine, Zeki,” I say.

“do you need something,” Inanna asks.

“I tore my shirt on my run today. I went to get it mended, but they didn’t have the right thread, so they sent me here to get it,” Zeki answers. 

“what color?”

“just plain white.”

Inanna nods and pulls a chest out from under the table we’re standing around. “it’s gonna take a little while. You can wait here or come back later.” She pulls out a fluffy bundle of white cotton and a spool. As she heads over to the spindle to get it all set up, Zeki goes to sit on a blanket piled with pillows nestled in the corner of the room. It’s there for when Inanna’s been working too long and needs a nap or for people who want to hang around and chat or help card the cotton.

“Have you spoken to the record keepers yet,” I ask?

“no, not ye.t I wanted to drop off my shirt first. I didn’t expect to be sent on errands.” Zeki says while settling down. 

“I’ll grab some paper and a pen.” I leave the tent to grab the necessary materials.

When I return, Osirus is sitting with Zeki, “making friends?”

“I’m just asking some questions,” Osirus replies.

“don’t go stealing my job.” I sit down with the duo. 

“what even is your job?”

“record keeper. I write down stories and events so we have an accurate history of everything that happens here.”

“sounds boring”

I shrug “doesn’t matter how you feel, now let me work,” I turn to Zeki, “Tell me what happened up there.”

Zeki tells the story of everything that happened from when he left camp to when he got back, including a list of all the goods they collected. As we’re talking, the little dragon migrates to my lap, and Osirus reaches out to let them sniff his hand. The little creature surprisingly lets him pet them.

“so you just go above ground to collect goods you can’t make down here,” Osirus asks.

“and to collect the local news once every week, although it might happen more or less around holidays,” Zeki answers.

“hey, Zeki, catch,” Inanna tosses a spool of freshly made white thread to him, which startles the dragon into skittering to Osirus.

“Thanks,” Zeki smiles at Inanna. “See you around,” Inanna waves as he leaves the tent. 

I turn to Osirus. “We should leave Inanna to her work and see how Chieftess Aurelia is doing.”

Osirus nods. “Right, let’s go,” He carefully picks up the dragon.

[matteblack71sg]

The Rock Show - Josh Kiszka x F!Reader

The one where Jake drags Josh around after their Boston Calling set. Josh meets someone in the meantime.

This is completely self-indulgent and does not line up with any sense of reality but I guess that’s the point of fanfic! Based on the fact that the boys played Boston calling a few years ago and NIN played two nights on the 2022 lineup (gahhhh i love them!!) anyway, hope you guys like it :) this is so loooong I’m sorry

ALSO: this is not proofread. Sorry for mistakes!

Warnings: drinking, swearing, like barely anything it’s really fluffy actually, annoying/drunk!jake lol

“Jake, we’re only going to be standing out here in the heat. Do you even know any of the bands on today’s bill?” Josh asked as his twin brother was unceremoniously sprawled out on the bed he had occupied the night before in their shared hotel room. They had the room for two more nights—the benefit to playing the festival set on a Friday is that they got Saturday and Sunday to recoup before their show on Monday night. Josh needed the rest and was grateful for it, his voice needed it.

Beside, he didn’t love the idea of going to the Boston Calling festival—he didn’t like a lot of the music and all the people standing out in the heat and getting progressively more drunk and hot…Nothing about that sounded fun to Josh. He’d rather get drunk with his good friends, or even spend the day with one of the blunts Jake’s guitar tech rolled for them last night.

But, Jake had other ideas.

“I don’t really care about the bands, man, I just wanna do something! It’s one of the few days off before tour starts, like, officially. What happened to Mr. Fun Guy?”

Josh rolled his eyes. “Don’t call me that.”

Jake wiggled his eyebrows. “Come on, asshat. Just come hang with Sam and Danny and me for a bit. Don’t be a fuckin’ loser!”

With that, there was a sharp knock on the door. Josh walked over to open it to see their manager. “Hey, boys. I know today was supposed to be a day off but there was a last minute interview scheduled for 3:30 this afternoon. Shouldn’t be anything too wild, and you still have the rest of the day. Are either of you going to go attend the festival?”

Before Josh had a chance to answer, Jake had hopped up and seemingly just appeared at his side. “Yessir, we’re going alright, right Josh?”

Josh rolled his eyes. Their manager just shrugged and handed them two laminates. “Don’t get arrested. And show up to the Monster Energy tent at 3:15. I’ll meet you there.”

—•—•—•—

“Gaaahd-damn! It’s hot as Hades!” Sammy exclaimed as he stretched his arms above his head. The four had found each other earlier in the day and had walked throughout the festival, observing and taking photos with fans when they got recognized.

“Hey, let’s go get some water. Hey, cool, Liquid Death!” Danny pulled Sam in his direction, going to get the both of them a cold can of seltzer.

“You want one?” Jake asked Josh, who shook his head. “Not my drink of choice. Need a beer or somethin’.”

“Now we’re talkin’!” Jake said, amused while clapping a hand on Josh’s shoulder. The twin brothers walked over to a nearby concessions stand, Jake purchased two Bud Lights, much to his own dismay. Josh unwillingly took the cup, before they went to sit down on a bench.

“You glad you’re not sitting up in that hotel room alone?” Jake asked, and Josh swallowed the beer almost insistently.

“Well I’m not too pleased that I’m drinking Bud Light,” Josh said, and Jake grunted. “Yeah. Stay here, I’m gonna go find something better.”

“Jake-“ “No buts, I’m on the hunt, brother!”

With that, Josh was left to sit in the hot sun on a half-shaded bench. Drinking the rest of the beer and throwing the cup away, he got up and checked out his surroundings. Where could Jake have disappeared to? Josh looked at the smattering of canopies and tents before he just started to amble about. He was bound to find Jake one way or another.

Lost in his thoughts, Josh didn’t even realize that he was extremely dehydrated. He walked up to the nearest tent and pulled out a few cash bills. Water first, beer later.

“Uh, sir, what can I get you?”

A feminine voice broke through his fatigued thoughts and snapped him back to attention. “Ah, ahem, yes! Can I just get a water, thank you.” Josh rambled.

The girl simply nodded, grabbing a bottle that was sitting in the cooler beside her. Handing it to Josh, she cocked her head to the side.

“Got a staring problem?” She asked, her tone abrasive but a small giggle and smile made Josh rub the back of his neck. “I’m not all quite here right now…the heat,” he offered an apologetic smile.

“If you want to stay here and hang for a bit, that’d be totally fine,” she offered, motioning to the shaded canopy they were both standing under. Josh looked at her quizzically, as she leaned against the card table and tossed him a can of Redbull.

“Oh, no thank you, I don’t-“

“Dude, one, it’s on the house, two, do you not know what tent you’re under?”

It dawned on Josh that he had been so distracted he hadn’t even put the pieces together. One look at the woman’s shirt and paraphernalia surrounding her in multiple portable coolers would tell him that he was in fact, under the Redbull tent.

“Oh! Well, heh…” he trailed off, biting the inside of his lip. “C’mon, it’s not gonna kill ya,” the girl teased, a smile on her face. He laughed to himself, before taking the can of energy drink from her. The cold precipitation of the can made for a welcome temperature change in his hand, but he couldn’t shake the fact that their fingers had slightly brushed—his tan to her slender…tattooed ones?

She smiled and cracked her can open, him following suit. “So, thoughts?” She asked, gesturing to the can. “Oh, yeah, it’s just like I remember it tasting.” He smiled widely, causing her to laugh. Josh couldn’t help but recognize the butterflies that rose while he listened to her.

Cleaning his throat awkwardly, he motioned to her fingers. “Are your hands tattooed?” He asked, inquisitively. She choked slightly on her sip, not expecting him to ask. Flipping her free hand through her dyed hair, he saw that part of her head was shaved. Her anxious fidgeting also allowed him to see her cheeks blushing.

“Yeah—fingers are mostly stick and poke, like this one on my middle finger I got with my best friend, and the one on my thumb I got after a show for free. It got infected and that’s why it’s just a blob now. But uh, yeah…” she trailed off, the rambling making him smile but leaving her embarrassed.

“That’s definitely brave. I would never, especially after a show? Sheesh,” Josh complimented. “Do you have any other ones?” She nodded, ducking her head slightly and biting back a smile which allowed Josh to see that she also had a small barbell sticking out of her eyebrow.

“One on the back of my neck, sternum, a few on my ribs, hips, I’m working on my sleeve right here-“ she had begun listing the tattoos on her fingers before pausing to motion to a complex black and gray sleeve trailing from underneath the top of her shirt at her shoulder to her elbow. She blushed and looked at him. “I’m a fuckin’ wimp—I’ve been putting off the rest of the sleeve because I don’t wanna do my elbow,” she smiled. Josh nodded, observantly. Smiling slightly at the blush that had found permanent residence on her cheeks.

“I take it you enjoy getting them?” She shook her head. “Oh, no. It’s brutal. But I love how they look,” she smiled. He nodded. “All my tattoos have some sort of meaning. It’s cheesy, but-“

“No need to talk to me about cheesy, I’m a man built up on clichés and such. The cornier the better, I always say!”

She smiled at his exclamation, nodding. “Do I know you from somewhere?”

He cocked his head to the side. “I’m one of the musicians who played yesterday,” he said vaguely, wanting to stay as anonymous as possible in this moment.

“Well, duh. I recognize your laminate—“ she motioned to his pass around his neck.

“Shit! Fuck! Oh, goddammit! I know you!” She crowed, connecting the dots. “You’re Josh Kiszka, aren’t you?” She asked, smiling.

He nodded, holding up his hands in defeat. “Guilty. Yes, I am.”

She smiled. “Cool! Nice to meet you, your music is pretty good. You’re the…singer?” She ventured, and he smiled again, nodding. “Yes, I am. Thank you for the compliments, you’re very sweet.”

She brushed off his formality with a smile and eye-roll. “You guys gonna catch any sets tonight?” Josh shook his head. “Are you, or will you be working?” This dark-haired woman smiled and shook her head. “Nope! Gonna hang out and catch Nine Inch Nails. That’s one benefit to this job—when you don’t work the tent or booth you can hang out and catch a couple sets, if you’re lucky.”

“Very clever,” he nodded and she smirked, nodding. “You like ‘em?” “Nine Inch Nails? I-uh, have to admit that I don’t,” he said. Normally he wouldn’t care to voice his distaste for the nü-metal group—they’re just not his thing—but knowing this girl liked them… he didn’t want to say the wrong thing!

She shrugged. “Yeah, not for everyone. I’d be more surprised if you liked them. What do ya like, Josh?”

Leaning forward, Josh felt her slim hand rest on his bare forearm. He looked down briefly to see her inked skin so close to his tanned skin, her tank top exposing a bit more of her torso than he should have seen….god, where was Jake?!

No, Jake was the last person Josh needed to be around right now.

“Josh?” Blinking, he looked straight into her eyes that he just now realized weren’t just covered in black, but silver-shimmery stuff and…blue eyeliner? He didn’t even know that existed.

“Oh, ya’know, the classic stuff, and uh, folk…Fleet Foxes? I really enjoy their catalogue.” Why did his mouth feel so damn dry?

She laughed and her grip on his arm tightened. “God, you sound like you’re from the 1800s! How old are you again?” She teased, and he rolled his eyes. Catching a wave, he leaned closer to her, the table separating them only so much. “Old enough. But what about you, Miss…” “Y/N,” she supplied, not breaking his gaze. “And, I’m old enough,” she smirked. “Trust me.”

He chuckled to himself, before repeating her name. “Y/N…” once more, as if he was saying it to himself. “Beautiful name. It fits you,” he smiled. She shrugged shyly, which he had come to recognize as a very cute telling sign that she was taken by flattery.

“Well, Josh Kiszka, that’s real sweet of you to say,” she responded. Opening her mouth to say something more, possibly another quick remark or flirty question—Josh hoped it was that—they were both pulled from their reverie.

“Josh! There you are!”

Clambering up to his twin brother, Jake Kiszka slapped a hand on Josh’s back, slimly missing the sunburn that was still fresh. Josh hissed in frustration as Y/N quickly moved behind the table, frazzled. The inebriated Kiszka hardly noticing the flirtatious moves between the other two.

“Oh-ho-ho—no way! Josh is drinkin’ Redbull! What the hell, man!” Jake laughed, chuckling at the can that was sitting on the table.

“Heya, how much is one of these, pretty lady?” He asked Y/N, making her roll her eyes and smile. “You can have this, and $5.00. But for you, I’m gonna need $12.00. Cash,” she smiled. Jake furrowed his eyebrows, opening his wallet. Josh motioned for him to put it away and handed her a $20, before sending Y/N a small smile. “For the water and the Redbull, and please keep the change. Dealing with this blistering idiot is hard enough. I’m sorry he can’t seem to keep his comments to himself,” he muttered the last part as she made change for the bill.

As if on queue, Jake leaned into Josh a bit more. “Hey, Josh, y’know her name?” “My name is Y/N,” she answered before he could, and Jake smized in her direction. “Y/N…” he repeated, his drunken tongue making him giggle at his own voice. When Y/N has turned back to do her job, Jake nudged Josh, making him glare at his twin. That hurt. “She’s hot, man. You should do something about that,” he guffawed.

“Oh my god… for fuck’s sake, Jake-“ Josh muttered through grit teeth. “I’m jus’ sayin’ man!” Jake rebutted innocently, and Josh got a more secure hold on Jake, helping him stand a bit more vertical.

“Y/N, thank you for the beverages,” Josh said, as she nodded and smiled. “No worries, Josh. Cycle back around if you guys decide you can stomach some more of the Bull,” she teased. Jake snickered at her comment. They both walked back to the bench they’d found initially, sitting down while Jake sipped at the bottled water.

“You better sober up quick, because we have that interview in a half hour and we’re meeting Jason at…” “The Monster tent!” Jake whooped, before pointing ahead and wiggled his eyebrows. “Did’ya mean the one right next to your girlfriend’s?”

“Shut the fuck up, asshole,” Josh snapped, making Jake smirk into his water.

—•—•—

The interview was wrapped up and the bandmates had been able to meet with some associates and a few people that were from the local radio station. They also got a catered lunch, which was extremely appreciated but not as much as the air conditioning was.

“So, we’re gonna go back to the hotel and smoke then come back here for Tame Impala’s set,” Sammy told the twins, proudly announcing him and Danny’s tentative plan. “What time is Tame’s set?” Jake asked, while Danny pulled up the schedule on his phone. “They’re playing at 9 on the A stage, right before Nine Inch Nails on the B stage.”

Sam groaned, and rolled his eyes. “God that would harsh my high so quick. If we toke up before I’m gonna get out of there before I have to hear ‘gonna fuck me like an animal’ or whatever that stupid fucking song is.” He groaned to no one in particular.

“It’s ‘wanna fuck you like an animal,’ and they’re kinda good. I like the Johnny Cash version of that one song—which is it?” Jake snapped his fingers, remembering to no avail.

“You like them?” Sam asked, incredulously. Jake rolled his eyes. “No, but everyone knows that fuckin’ song, you twat. Don’t care enough about em to catch a set.”

“So you’ll come with us to Tame?”

Jake took a moment and rubbed his chin, before ultimately deciding against it. He shook his head. “I would like some peace and quiet so probably not, no.”

“What about you?” All eyes turned to Josh, who had occupied himself by making himself a plate of the catering. “Oh, I don’t know, not really my scene.”

“Getting high and seeing Tame Impala? That has you written all over it,” Sam scoffed.

Josh threw a hand up in defeat. “All right, all right! I’ll go for a bit. Anyway, move your ass, I have to go make a call.”

Little to his bandmates knowledge, he was on his way back to the festival grounds.

—•—•—

Josh had a good idea of where to go now, following the haze and maze of the canopy tops. He was on a mission this time, not dawdling.

“Ahem, hello, can I get a-“

“Oh, hey! I didn’t expect you to come back,” Y/N blushed. Clearing her throat, she smiled softly. “What can I get ya?” She asked, an idle hand subtly scratching the undercut on her hair.

“Let’s go with an Original Redbull,” he chuckled. “You sure about that, Grandpa? Caffeine this late can’t be good for you,” she smiled and he wagged a finger at her jokingly. “It’s growing on me,” he said as they made the trade.

She handed him back his change, and he bit his lip. Suddenly, cracking the can open, he looked at her. “So, what time do you get off work?” He asked, a glimmer of mischief and hope in his eyes. “Around 9ish, why?”

“Perfect. Now, would it be too forward of me to ask if you, Y/N, would like to come see a rock show with me?” He smiled, and she cocked her head to the side, a smile forcing it’s way on her face. “I mean, yeah-“

“Great. I’ll meet you here at 9?”

She smiled widely. “Sure, that sounds great, Josh.”

“See you then, mama,” he smiled before waving goodbye.

Smiling to himself, he took another sip of the energy drink. He’s really happy he was forced to spend the day at the festival.

[beccascribbles]

Can i ask for a suna x reader request where the reader is the team’s manager and swear she wouldn’t date another volleyball player after her ex, but suna changes her mind? 👀👀

a/n - this ended up way longer than i intended. whoops. honestly as i wrote this, i forgot all about the original plot. he does still change her mind though! it just became more of a best friends to lovers au (which i’m a big fat lover of). anyway, hope you enjoy :)

You swore off dating volleyball players the night you turned up at his house, tears rolling down your cheeks and red eyes. Your voice was hoarse when you told him, when you told Suna you would never date another volleyball player. The tears dampened his shirt as he held you, as he listened to you rant.

Suna hated to admit it, but a part of him was glad when he saw you on his doorstep that night. It meant you had finally realised what a piece of shit you had been dating and also opened up an avenue that had been previously shut for him. However, none of that mattered when you were in front of him. Any part of him that rejoiced at your broken expression disgusted him.

"All volleyball players are shit," you sobbed, pressing your face into his chest, choosing to forget that you were currently seeking comfort in the arms of one. "Can you believe he cheated on me?"

"I always told you he was a piece of shit," drawled Suna, rubbing soothing circles into your back. You bit back another sob, landing a light smack to his shoulder.

"And you're suddenly Mr Perfect?"

"I wouldn't cheat on you."

"Well, it doesn't really matter anyway," you sighed, curling into the warmth Suna provided, arms wrapping around his waist. "A volleyball player and me will never be a thing again. Fuck that. I'm not going through that pain again."

That whole night Suna was there to offer you comfort. He let you wash in his bathroom, giving you one of his favourite t-shirts and a pair of boxers to wear to bed. He even gave you his bed to sleep in, saying he would sleep on the floor. You couldn't let him do that, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him into the bed beside you. Suna was also the one who called your mother, explaining that you were staying at his house tonight.

And, the next morning, you were awoken to the smell of breakfast wafting through the house, walking down the stairs to be greeted by Suna on a video call with Osamu. It was clear Osamu was instructing him on how to cook, something that Suna struggled with.

"Morning, Rin, Samu," you greeted, waving at the phone screen as you stepped into view. Osamu eyes widened slightly at the sight of your clothing. You were still dressed in Suna's clothes, and, if you didn't know why, you would admit your reaction likely would have been the same.

"Ooh, y/n," sang Atsumu's voice, his head appearing at the top of the frame as Osamu pushed him away. "What have ya -"

He was cut off by Suna's barked 'shut up'. In a quiet voice, you stated simply, "My boyfriend, ex now I suppose, cheated on me."

"Did Suna make ya forget all about that loser?" asked Atsumu, his head now back in frame and pushing against Osamu's as he tried to claim the centre of the screen.

"Sumu!" snapped Osamu, shooting him a glare as he gave him a hard slap to the back of the head.

"If letting me cry and rant to him counts, then yes," you sighed, turning away from them and heading to the cupboard to grab a glass.

"Samu," called Suna, looking up from the pan helplessly, "what do I do now?"

He held up the food to show that it was burnt, charred to the point that it was disintegrating. Osamu let out a sigh. "I can come over and cook for ya if you want."

You nodded enthusiastically in the background, letting out an enthused shout. "Yes please!"

"Okay," he nodded, standing up from where he rested on his bed. "I'll be there in a bit."

"Don't bring Atsumu," pleaded Suna.

"I'm comin’," said Atsumu, poking his tongue out at the camera before Osamu hung up. Suna let out a sigh, looking over at you apologetically. His plan for a quiet morning with you to let you recuperate and prepare to face the world again was coming to an end. Instead, you would be thrust back into it with the presence of the twins, especially Atsumu.

You stepped towards him, resting a hand on his shoulder. Wordlessly, he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you against him. Head pressed against his chest, you mumbled, "I really don't mind you know. I love hanging out with the twins. You know that."

"I just wanted everything to be good for you, you know?" he admitted, resting his cheek on the top of your head. "Are you feeling better this morning?"

"Like you said, he was a piece of shit. I supposed it was about time I realised that."

"Yeah," he sighed, brushing a kiss to the top of your head. "It would've been better if you hadn't been hurt in the process."

"Well hey," you said, looking up at him with a small smile playing on your lips, "at least I know who not to date so don't worry. I won't go running into the arms of anyone on the team to make me feel better."

"You can come to me though," he murmured, voice low. You looked up at him, eyebrows raising in confusion.

"What did you say?" you asked, pulling away and moving across the kitchen to grab a glass from the cupboard.

"Um...," he hesitated, running a hand through his sleep mussed hair. He refused to meet your gaze, focusing instead on a point above your head. "Just that you can run to the twins if you need, preferably Osamu but I suppose Atsumu is good for a hookup. I guess it depends on whose hair you prefer. You've always had a thing for blondes..."

"Rin, I'm going to stop you there," you laughed, holding up a hand and cutting off his tangent. "You don't need to worry. Also, where'd you get the idea that I'm into blondes?"

"Well, your last few boyfriends..."

"Personally, I've always preferred brunettes," you shrugged, heading over to the sink to fill up your glass. You let out a light giggle. "Now that I think about it, it is weird that I always end up dating blondes."

“Evidence of your horrible taste,” he teased, forever thankful that you could take any awkward comment in your stride and put him at ease. It was something so natural to you. In fact, you had grown used to his occasional odd remarks, brushing them under the rug. There were times when you would tease Suna for it, but, most of the time, you let it slide. It was a part of your best friend.

You let out a gasp, holding a hand to your heart in fake shock. But then, you shook your head, face splitting into a grin. “You’re not wrong. Maybe you’ll have to teach me how to find a nice guy.”

“I don’t know if I’m the best choice for that.”

“You don’t know that. You’re always right about how horrible anyone I show an interest in is.”

Suna might always be right, but he was always searching for the bad points of those you dated. Jealousy drove him to overlook any of the good things, like how happy they usually made you the first few weeks you were together.

“Yeah, well,” he admitted, “I’m not necessarily looking for the good things when I judge your boyfriends.”

“You’re so overprotective,” you snorted, dancing around him to take a seat at the kitchen table. He didn’t reply to that, and you glanced upwards, taking note of his furrowed brow. You decided to change the topic of conversation, taking a sip of your water. Before you could, there was a furious knocking at the front door. Suna rolled his eyes as you stated, “The twins.”

“Well done, Captain Obvious,” he teased, ruffling your hair as he walked past you and headed towards the front door. He glanced back over at you. “Are you going to change?”

“Nah, it’s fine. They’ve seen me in worse states.”

That was true, and the fact annoyed Suna whenever he dwelled on it. 

Atsumu, thinking he was being funny, had snuck into the bathroom while you were showering and stole your clothing, leaving your underwear. To be fair to Atsumu, he hadn’t attempted to peek at you in your naked state. It would’ve been difficult if he had tired considering the shower curtain was drawn. If he had attempted to look, he would have been subject to Suna’s wrath, and he had a number of photos of Atsumu in compromising positions that he could release. Suna wished you had just walked to his room and taken some of his clothes. Instead, you had strode downstairs in your underwear, ignoring the looks from the team that Suna had invited over and stood over Atsumu.

“Clothes, now,” you commanded, hands resting on your hips. Suna had been quick to leap up from his position on the sofa, pulling his sweatshirt over his head and tugging it over your own, moving you like a doll as he shoved your arms into the sleeves and pulled it down to cover your lower half. Then, Suna had also fixed a glare on Atsumu.

“You’d better fucking hurry,” he said, the set of his face threatening some kind of consequence. Atsumu hadn’t wanted to find out, getting up from his seat and jogging towards the kitchen, where he thought it would be wise to hide your clothes in a cupboard.

“You’re so irritating,” you grumbled, pulling on the leggings and then removing Suna’s sweatshirt, and throwing your t-shirt on. You held the sweatshirt out to Suna. “Thanks for the cover up.”

“Did you really need to strip again?” he spluttered, blushing furiously as he took his sweatshirt back from you.

“So dramatic,” you sighed, rolling your eyes at Suna’s embarrassment. Atsumu, meanwhile, had looked like a child in a candy store.

“I always knew ya were hot, but damn,” said Atsumu, letting out a low whistle. Though you appreciated the compliment, you didn’t hesitate to give him a hard slap to the back of the head.

“Don’t steal my clothes,” you said, before your lips tugged upwards in a teasing smirk. You leant in. “If you wanted to see, all you had to do was ask.”

It was Atsumu’s turn to blush then, looking away and avoiding your gaze. Both of you were aware your statement was a lie, but he couldn’t help his reaction. Suna watched with his arms crossed, quietly seething. His chest felt tight. Then, you had looked over at him with a bright smile and asked, “You picked out the film yet?”

Suna was jerked from the memory by an increase in the knocking and a loud shout through the door. “Open the fuck up, ya idiot. I’m hungry too.”

“Shut up, Sumu,” he grumbled, swinging open the door. He nodded towards Osamu. “There should be enough food in the fridge but, if you need more, just give me a list and I’ll nip to the shop.”

“I’ll go, too,” you piped up, appearing in the corridor behind him. Atsumu sprinted forward, pulling you into a tight hug which you returned. “Okay, you big oaf. You can let go of me now.”

“If you cry, he’ll let go of ya in an instant,” said Osamu, giving your head a pat as he walked past you and into the kitchen.

“It was one time, Samu,” whined Atsumu, releasing you and following his brother into the kitchen. “I’m great at comforting girls, better than you.”

“I can cook.”

“Yeah, well,” spluttered Atsumu, “I’m hotter than you.”

“We’re identical.”

“Still hotter.”

“Identical. Twins.”

“Just like normal,” you said, grinning over at Suna as he held his head in his hands. Any plans for a quiet morning went down the drain, but, when he glanced over at you to see your smile, he couldn’t deny that he was glad the twins had come over.

That happiness dissipated when Atsumu had been kicked out of the kitchen by Osamu and sent out with you to get the rest of the ingredients. Osamu had insisted that only Suna could be trusted in the kitchen, despite burning what he tried to make earlier. Ultimately, though, Osamu wasn’t going to trust him with cooking. He had simply wanted to talk to his friend, find out what was going through his head.

“So,” Osamu said, taking a sip from the cup of tea Suna had made before continuing, “how is y/n after last night? How are you?”

“I think she’ll be fine,” Suna said, trying to decide how much he was comfortable with sharing. Letting out an exhale, he decided he might as well take the chance to explain how he was feeling. Nothing good came from bottling it up, something that had become all too clear to him when he had almost taken advantage of the alcohol to finally kiss you.

It had been on your eighteenth birthday. Using the excuse that you only turn eighteen once, you had downed drink after drink, slowly growing steadily more drunk, evidenced by the way you had zero inhibitions to jumping up onto a table and swaying your hips enticingly for all to see. Suna had frozen at the sight, the alcohol he had also drunk making him feel slightly braver. He had walked over to you, offering you his hand as he helped you jump down from the table. He leaned in, yelling to be heard over the music.

“You want to go somewhere else?”

You looked at him in confusion, your drunken mind not being able to fully process his request. All you could really concentrate on was the party, the happy buzz lighting your nerves. “Why?”

Suna had drawn in a breath, steeling himself. “I have something to give you. In private.”

The promise of a gift had caused you to loop your arm through his, letting him guide you somewhere else. It barely even registered that he had already given you his present, a beautiful necklace, an ornate and delicate star as the one charm on it. He had pressed a kiss to your cheek after being the one to place it around your neck. In fact, you were wearing it at that moment, the lights glinting off the silver.

“So, what did you want to give me?” you asked under the light of the moon. He reached forward, tracing a finger along the curve of your face. Suna’s hand stopped its movement, cupping your cheek. “Suna?”

He let out a breath that tickled your face. Slowly, carefully, he leaned in, his lips a whisper away before a shout broke through the relative peace of the garden.

“y/n!”

Your head turned in the direction, pulling out of Suna’s grip in the process. Atsumu stumbled towards you, slinging his arm over your shoulder. “Come on. I convinced Kita to play ‘Never Have I Ever’ and he’s usually no fun at parties. You too, Suna.”

That moment between the two of you in the garden had been forgotten by you, but it replayed regularly in Suna’s mind. He buried his face into his hands, Osamu’s quiet support enough to prompt him to continue with what he was saying. “I don’t know if I will be though.”

When he looked up, his eyes were unusually vulnerable. There was a hesitation in his gaze, and Osamu waited a moment before prompting, “Why?”

As Osamu began to chop up some of the ingredients, Suna began to speak again. “She swore off dating volleyball players, and I think that extends to me. To be honest, she’s probably only ever seen me as a friend. Pathetic, right? I invest all this time into our relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I love her friendship. I’ll never take it for granted. It’s just frustrating. Do I act too friendly with her? Am I not flirty enough? Why was I friend-zoned?”

Osamu continued cutting, choosing his next words carefully. “She’s probably never thought to look at you in another way. It would make sense she doesn’t want to risk your friendship, Rin.”

“I understand that,” he sighed, “but, what can I do?”

“All you can do is try to show her how you feel and hope she realises you’re the one for her,” advised Osamu. Suna made note of this, though a part of him wondered if it was the best option. In his opinion, Suna was already showing that he had feelings for you. How could he make that more known? Seeing the uncertainty on his face, Osamu continued. “You could always ask Sumu for advice but I doubt it would be more useful than mine.”

It was some time before Suna was able to broach the topic with Atsumu, though this time with more hypotheticals than outright admissions. Your head was resting in his lap, your breathing steady as one of his hands rubbed absentminded circles into your back. You would be the first to admit you hadn’t had the best of sleep that night, falling asleep as soon as the film Osamu had chosen was playing.

“It must have been really boring if y/n’s already asleep,” teased Atsumu, giving his brother a playful shove which Osamu ignored. “She usually stays up out of pity.”

“Whatever, Sumu,” sighed Osamu, hugging a cushion to his chest as he became fully engrossed in what was unfolding on screen. It was hard to rile Osamu up when he was in his element, and, frankly, this film was one of his favourites. It made him dream of running his own chain of restaurants, though without the mafia using it as a front for drug trades.

“Hey, Atsumu,” began Suna awkwardly, immediately getting the other twin’s attention. Osamu was too focused on the film to care what was being talked about around him, something he would regret when Atsumu bragged about Suna confiding in him the whole way home. “Say you liked this girl, but she was your best friend, and swore off dating volleyball players. How would you change her mind and show her how you feel?”

“I’d just tell y/n how I feel,” he replied. “It is y/n we’re talkin’ about, yeah?”

Suna nodded, though the slight frown that twisted his face told Atsumu he wasn’t happy that he had figured it out. Atsumu simply shrugged, giving his friend’s shoulder a squeeze.

“It’s kind of obvious,” Atsumu said, glancing down at the way Suna gently brushed your hair away from your face, his other hands resting against the curve of your waist. “Anyway, she’d appreciate the honesty. No need to show her. You show her how much ya care everyday anyway. It might not change her mind straight away but havin’ it out in the open might help her come around to the idea.”

“Thanks, Sumu,” said Suna, genuinely meaning the words.

“They don’t call me the Love Maestro for nothin’,” he bragged.

“No one calls you that,” shot Osamu, tuning in for that part of the conversation. Atsumu turned to him, scandalised.

“Do too.”

“Name one person.”

“...”

“Exactly.”

Later that day, Suna walked you home, slinging an arm around your shoulder and leaning a bit of his weight on you as you walked. Your own arm wrapped around his waist instinctively to keep your balance. It felt so natural to walk along with him like this, something you genuinely missed when you were dating someone. It just felt disrespectful to the other person to act as you did with Suna while with them. A part of you recognised that the way you acted around each other could be construed as a relationship, but you had never thought to entertain the idea. He was just Suna, your best friend.

You came to a stop in front of your front door, and he released your shoulder in favour of wrapping both of his arms around your waist to pull you into a hug. Instantly, you relaxed against him, arms winding around his neck. When he pulled away, your hands still rested on his shoulders and you smiled up at him.

“Call me if you need anything,” he said, eyes unusually soft as he stared at you. His eyes landed on the necklace around your neck, the star shining up at him from where it rested just above the neckline of your top. “I’ll see you tomorrow but if you need anything, if you just want to chat, call me, okay?”

You nodded, giving his shoulder a pat before releasing him. However, you made no move to step away and open your front door. Suna leaned forward, pressing a kiss to your cheek. At that, he stepped off your porch, turning away from you. “Goodnight.” I love you.

“Night, Rin.”

When his phone rang at two in the morning, he couldn’t say he hadn’t been expecting it. He was. It was normal for you to call him at random times of the night, particularly when you couldn’t get to sleep or had been awoken by a nightmare.

“Rin?” you breathed, voice quiet to avoid waking anyone up in your house. “Um, hi.”

“Morning, y/n,” he mumbled, switching you onto speaker and placing the phone down beside his head. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I was just having trouble sleeping. Um, can you tell me a story?”

“Don’t you think we’re too old for bedtime stories?” he chuckled, though he was already shifting through his brain for a tale he could tell you that had not already been shared.

“We’re still in high school,” you protested, and he could hear the pout in your voice. “We’re not adults yet.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Are you ready?”

He heard the sound of movement through the speaker, the sound of you getting into bed and placing the phone on the pillow beside you.

“Ready.”

So, Suna began, telling the story of a foolish knight who had fallen for the beautiful princess, a princess who was at home when she was sparring with the knights, when she could forget about all the eligible bachelors from other kingdoms. She was a princess who ate with the Royal Guard, prepared the roster for their training sessions, and offered her support whenever she was needed.

His voice lulled you to sleep, and, before you could question what had inspired such a tale, your eyes had slipped shut and sleep had pulled you under. Suna heard your change in breathing, your soft inhales and exhales slowing until they reached a steady rhythm. He trailed off, reaching for his phone, finger hovering over the button that would end the call. He pulled his finger away, letting his hand fall back down onto the mattress. Suna fell asleep to the sound of your breathing. He could almost pretend that you were beside him.

Your phone was flat when you woke up, and you cursed, hurriedly plugging yours into the charger. You hated being late, hated not knowing what the time was as soon as you woke up. You jogged down the stairs, reading the time on the clock in the kitchen and releasing the tension in one exhale. There was plenty of time. At a more relaxed pace, you continued to prepare for the day.

It was a busy day for you as manager of the volleyball club, something that you were thankful for as it meant you couldn’t dwell on your break up. Even if you weren’t busy with your club duties, the team would provide a distraction. Atsumu and Osamu argued more as third years, the influences of Kita, Aran and the others no longer there to calm them down. Suna was no help, urging them on whenever he could and then documenting the whole affair on his phone to send photos and videos to Kita and Aran later. To be fair, you did little to break it up either, preferring to let them work out their anger. It worked, though Kita insisted there was a better way. If he wanted to come back to Inarizaki and deal with them, he could.

The sound of your phone ringing sent you running back up the stairs, dodging out of the way of a parent that had just emerged from the bathroom. Suna’s name flashed on the screen, and you accepted the call, perching on the edge of the bed.

“I guess we fell asleep on call,” he laughed, his voice rough from having just woken up. “Your phone died, didn’t it?”

“Of course it did, idiot,” you sighed. “Why didn’t you hang up once I’d fallen asleep? You usually do.”

“You sounded cute,” he admitted, glad you could not see the flush that dusted his cheeks. “Plus, I figured you would be smart enough to have it plugged in if I was.”

“Not a valid excuse,” you quipped, resting your head in the palm of your hand. With a laugh, you said, “I panicked this morning thinking I would be late. The coaches wanted me to meet with them before class. You don’t know how pleased I was when I walked down the stairs to see I still had a while before I had to leave the house.”

“Sorry about that,” he muttered sheepishly before clearing his throat. “Is it charged now?”

You glanced down at your phone screen. “It’s at about 20% so it’s probably not going to last the whole day.”

“You can use mine if you need to. It is kind of my fault after all.”

“Kind of?” you questioned, humour in your tone. “Don’t worry though. It should be fine if I leave it off until I need to use it.”

“Just let me know if you need to borrow it, okay?” he insisted. “We have late practice.”

“Yeah, I know, got to make sure you lot are prepared for nationals. No losing to Karasuno this year.”

“Mmhm,” he hummed. “I’ll walk you home, alright?”

“Don’t worry about it, Rin,” you said. “My phone will last till then. Plus, you’ll be tired after practice. I’d be a bad manager if I didn’t make you go straight home to eat.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” he argued. “Besides, I can just eat at your house. Your parents say that I’m always welcome.”

“But then you’ll be going home too late. Won’t your mum be worried?”

“She’ll be fine. I usually stay out late, or are you forgetting the nights I’ve snuck over to yours and we’ve gone on midnight walks?”

“Fine,” you sighed, letting him win this time. “Don’t complain to me if you’re tired at school tomorrow.”

“When am I not half-asleep?”

“I’ll see you at school, Rin.”

“See you.”

There was no arguing with Suna over things like this. He was stubborn to a fault when it came to your safety. You might have been able to convince him to head straight home if your phone was fully charged. When that was the case, he insisted on staying on the phone with you the whole way, not feeling comfortable at the thought of you walking home alone in the dark. Suna wasn’t overbearing. If you honestly didn’t want him walking you home or calling you, he wouldn’t so long as you messaged him when you got home. But, you liked talking to him. That was the simple truth. You enjoyed spending time with Suna, and enjoyed talking to him. It was only Suna who wanted something more.

“So,” asked Atsumu, slinging an arm over Suna’s shoulder yanking him closer, “when are ya goin' to tell her?”

“Tell who?” asked Osamu. The look Suna shot him made him nod his head in realisation. “Ah, y/n… Wait, tell her? What happened to just showin’ her how you feel?”

“If that was going to work, it would’ve already,” said Atsumu, puffing out his chest proudly. “As Suna and I discussed, comin' clean and confessing is the best way forward.”

“I hate to say it, but he had a point Samu,” agreed Suna, sliding out from under Atsumu’s arm. “Anyway, I’m not going to tell her anytime soon. She’s had enough to deal with. She doesn’t need her best friend confessing to her straight after a rough break up. It’s almost nationals time as well. Confessing might throw off the team dynamic and I don’t want to ruin that.”

“I think you’re just being a pussy,” declared Atsumu, lips quirking upwards in a teasing smirk.

“I think you’re being smart,” said Osamu. “Wait until the best time.”

All Suna had done, was continuing to do, was wait. However, he made a concerted effort to be there for you more often, being the shoulder you would lean on for support. Unknown to you consciously, a part of you had begun to reciprocate Suna’s feelings. On occasion, it would be you who would reach out for him, locking your pinkies together and sharing a secret smile across the lunch table.

Over the course of the next few months, there were many late night phone calls, which quickly transformed into video chats. He listened to you, helped you work through the residual feelings from your break up. Being cheated on had left you feeling inferior, and Suna had been there to build you back up.

One day, you turned to face your friend Reo, hardly believing the words that fell from your lips. “Tell me honestly. Do you think I’m falling for another volleyball player?”

“Another one?” she questioned, raising an eyebrow. Then, the realisation finally seemed to hit her and she let out a gasp. “Suna?”

“I don’t know,” you sighed, resting your chin on top of your open palm. “Am I just projecting? Do I really have feelings for him or am I just craving that kind of emotional connection with someone? Plus, it’s Suna. He’s my best friend.”

“Is that all he is to you, though?” she questioned, studying you. “I know he’s your best friend, but I am too. Who did you seek comfort from after your break up? Who do you fall asleep with over the phone every night? Did you ever act the same with people you were in a relationship with that you do with Suna? I mean, I know you haven’t kissed him or anything but you are more physically affectionate and open with him than people you’ve been in a relationship with. I know you’re going to be stubborn about this, say that’s just how you’ve always been, but I want you to think about how you treat each other. If you want my honest opinion, I’d say the feelings have always been there, especially on Suna’s part.”

You blinked at Reo, taking in what she was saying. It made you contemplate, think back on specific moments in your friendship with Suna where it was possible you had crossed some invisible line that you weren’t supposed to. But every moment with Suna felt so natural you couldn’t pinpoint where the line would be, let alone when you would have crossed it. It became clear to you then. You had feelings for Suna Rintaro. There went your vow to never date another volleyball player again.

If only Suna had realised you had made this realisation already. He could have stopped planning out how to confess to you with Osamu and Atsumu, their idea involving him reducing his contact with you until everything was prepared. That fact itself was easier said than done, and they couldn’t control what he did in the quiet of his home (which was find any excuse to phone you and talk to you).

That night, he asked you, “Can you be ready for one in the afternoon tomorrow? I have something planned that I hope you’ll like.”

“Sure,” you agreed. “I have something I want to say to you as well.”

He felt anxiety grip him at your statement, fearing the worst. His fingers tightened around the phone, his breath catching in his throat. You could hear his struggle through the phone and reassured, “Don’t worry. It’s nothing bad, at least I hope you don’t think it is. I’ve just finally realised something and want to tell you in person.”

"Okay," he breathed, though the knot of anxiety in his chest didn't loosen. "I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good sleep. Love you."

"Night, Rin," you replied, feeling your heart flutter slightly at his words. The words had been said before in passing, but always with Suna firmly placed as a friend. "Love you too."

At one the next day, you were sat waiting for him on your front step, fiddling with your phone in your hands. You had just spoken to Reo for advice, her words soothing your nerves. She had told you it was clear that Suna wanted to admit something too, and, for some reason, having that knowledge outlined for you by another put you at ease.

Seeing him approaching, you rose from your seated position, gesturing for him to wait for you on the pavement. Suna came to a stop, holding out his arms for a hug. You were quick to relax into his hold, arms giving his own waist a squeeze before letting go. Smiling up at him with unusual silence, you asked, “Can I tell you something before we go? I just think you deserve to know.”

He hesitated. A part of him was curious, wanted to know, but the rest of him feared that your news would ruin what he had planned. Suna wanted to confess to you before you revealed whatever you had realised. “Um, can I show you what I planned first? It’s kind of important.”

You raised an eyebrow, wondering how it could be so important that he didn’t want to hear what you said. At the nervous look in his eyes, you took his hand, giving it an affectionate squeeze. “Okay. Let’s go.”

Still holding his hand, you pulled him after you, moving with confidence though you had no idea what direction Suna wanted to take you in. He pulled you to a stop, shooting you a smirk. “Wrong way, idiot.”

“It’s not like I can read your mind,” you sighed, throwing your arms up in exasperation. You gave him a grin. “Want to take the lead?”

“With pleasure,” he said, choosing to release his hold on your hand and drape his arm over your shoulder. In response, your own wrapped around his waist and you fell into step beside him.

The sight that greeted you was unexpected and took your breath away. It was oddly beautiful in a simple way, something no one had ever thought to put together for you before, despite its relative simplicity. You looked up at him, mouth dropping open in shock and disbelief. “You really went through the trouble of setting up a picnic for me?”

“Well, yeah,” he replied. “You said you always wanted to go on a picnic with someone you love. I figured I counted at least a little bit.”

“You definitely count,” you said, giving him a slight nudge with your elbow. “I’d probably rather do this with you anyway. On another note, who made the food? Because you can’t cook for shit.”

“Osamu might have helped a little bit.”

“Just a little bit?” you teased, smirking up at him.

“Maybe more than a little bit, but that doesn’t matter.”

“Whatever you say, Rin,” you grinned, wandering over to sit on the blanket. He sank onto the floor beside you, leaning his side against your own. You relaxed against his warmth, letting your head drop against his shoulder. His own head dropped to rest against yours, his hand reaching out to hold yours, tangling your fingers together.

For a moment, you sat in silence, cherishing just being together. Suna cleared his throat, breaking the silence. “Before we eat, I have something to say to you. Can you promise whatever I say to you won’t change what we have right now?”

You looked up at him with concern. “I promise.”

Suna drew in a deep breath, releasing your hand and moving to sit in front of you. You let yourself miss the warmth of his body pressed against you, knotting your fingers together as you allowed your eyes to meet his. The hesitation in his face was clear, and you reached forward, resting a hand on his knee.

“Just tell me,” you reassured, smiling at him softly. “Nothing can change how I feel about you.”

“Okay,” he sighed, reaching forward, and clasping the hand you had rested on your knee. In that moment, he went for the bluntest approach. “I have feelings for you.”

You blinked over at him in shock, your grip on his hand tightening. That hadn’t been what you were expecting to hear, but hearing the words made your heart flutter. It made it so much easier to admit what you had finally realised. “I have feelings for you too.”

“Wait, you do?” said Suna, eyes widening in shock. This was far more than he could have hoped for. You nodded slowly, unable to help the own smile that pulled at your lips in response to his own.

Suna moved closer to you, letting his hand come up to rest against your face. He cupped it carefully, his thumb brushing against your cheek. Slowly, giving you the option to pull away he leaned in, only to let out a small gasp in shock when your hands gripped his top and pulled him towards you, pressing your lips against his. His hands slipped into your hair, holding you in place as he deepened the kiss, letting out a low groan of satisfaction at the feel of your hands slipping under the material of his top and rest against his bare skin.

“Fuck,” he breathed, pulling away to rest his forehead against your own. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that for.”

“Hope it was worth it,” you giggled, leaning forward to brush your lips against his. He captured your lips once again, kissing you softly, delicately.

“More than worth it,” he sighed, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into his lap. You fell into his chest, ear pressed against his beating heart. It was still racing now, even though you had accepted his advances. You lifted your head up, pressing a kiss to his jaw.

“Want to eat the food Samu made now?” you questioned, turning in his hold and resting your back against his chest. His stomach let out a low grumble. You leaned forward, grabbing a plate of food and letting out a giggle. “I suppose I’ll take that as an answer then.”

[dreamwritesimagines]

Burn The Witch 23 - Haunted Heart [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.

Summary: Coming home can cause issues.

Series Masterlist

                          SIX MONTHS LATER

You flipped the knife in your hand as the guy tied to the chair glared at you.

“You know,” you trailed off, “I’ve had a really shitty couple of months, Johnny- can I call you Johnny?”

“No.”

“Rude,” you commented, “Fine. John. I’ve had a really shitty couple of months so you really don’t want to try me right now. Just tell me where I can find your boss.”

“You’ll never find him you stupid bitch.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Since I’m going to kill you in a couple of minutes I feel like I can share some things with you,” you said, “My best friend says I keep everything bottled and I should talk about my feelings.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“See, that’s exactly how I feel!” you pointed at him, “Thank you. I mean, I feel angry at myself. I kind of fucked up with the man I love.”

“Jesus Christ, just kill me already.”

“I’m waiting for a text to do that Johnny,” you pointed out, waving your phone at him. “So, I tricked him and used him and threw him to wolves. And then Accords 2.0 didn���t pass and he has been pardoned once again, and he’s a free man now. I have a strong feeling that he’s not the ‘forgive and forget’ type of guy. You know, assassin to assassin.”

“You’re the chattiest assassin I’ve ever met.”

“Thank you, I’m trying to improve myself,” you said, “I mean what exactly should I do? I don’t even trust my agency at this point, my handler lied to me and I have been at this fucking place for six months now, hunting you down. Well, your boss but…”

“You’ll never find him.”

“We’ll see about that my friend,” you said, “So anyway, like what am I supposed to do? I lost the one guy I actually loved. How do you cope with that? Because drinking doesn’t work, sleeping with others doesn’t work…. Nothing seems to—“ you were cut off when your phone vibrated and you touched the screen to open the text message.

From: Julian

Go for it.

“Wait, no no no, I’ll talk—“

“Kind of too late,” you pointed the gun at him, “Nice to meet you Johnny.”

With that you pulled the trigger, silencer doing its job as there was no loud bang or anything. His body fell back with the impact, and you heaved a sigh.

“Maybe I need a therapist I can’t kill,” you mumbled and walked out of the warehouse to approach the car before opening the door to the passenger seat to get in.

“Is it done?” Julian asked and you nodded, rubbing at your eyes.

“Yep.”

“Are you hungry?”

You made a face, “Just because the General sent you here does not mean we’re going to become buddies.”

“I’m not trying to become buddies with you,” Julian stated, “I just want to eat fries and there’s a two for one deal.”

You eyed him up and down.

“Fine, I could eat fries.” You leaned back in the seat as he started driving, keeping your eyes on the road. Soon enough, you reached the city center and Julian got fries from a food truck, then sat across from you.

“So,” he said, “You do realize this whole thing would’ve been over by now if we actually worked together?”

“I’m not going on the field with you.”

“The General sent me here to help you.”

You dipped the fry into sauce, then popped it into your mouth, “You can help me by pretending you’re not here.”

“Y/N.”

“You know what they say Julian. Fool me once…”

“Don’t tell me you’re still holding that grudge.”

“You mean when you left me behind to die on the last mission we were together?” you asked back, “That grudge?”

“I told you—“

“I’m not going to talk about that with you,” you cut him off, “And I work better alone. Who told you we could waste the guy by the way?”

“The General.”

You grabbed the salt shaker to pour some salt on the fries, causing Julian to make a face.

“Are you kidding me? That was salty enough-“

“Why did he not text me?”

“No idea. Maybe he’s avoiding you because he promised you handler and here you are. Field spy.”

Your jaw clenched.

Or maybe he’s avoiding me because he fucking lied to me.

You had to give it to him, it was the perfect plan. The moment he had suspected you were getting too close to Bucky, he had come up with the one thing he knew that would make you switch sides.

And that-

That was below the belt yes, but that was also masterly.

But at the end of the day, you barely had two people to trust in the entire world, and you seriously doubted you could ever forgive the General for what he had done. You knew he held duty above all, above family and surely above you, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

You shook your head at yourself and grabbed another piece of fry.

“So um…” Julian shifted his weight, “Are you okay?”

You shot him a glare, arching a brow, “Peachy.”

“No I mean… About Barnes.”

“What are you talking about?”

“This whole Accords 2.0 failure, there’s no way we could go after him again.”

“I don’t want to go after him again.”

“You don’t want revenge?”

That made you straighten up your back and you put the fry down, “And why exactly would I want revenge?”

That made Julian fall silent and you nibbled on your lip.

“What exactly did the General tell you before you came here?”

“That there was a job here.”

“Bullshit,” you replied way too quickly, “Did he send you here to be my babysitter? He thinks I’ll go after Barnes myself is that it? That’s why they sent you here months after I left the country but right after Accords 2.0 didn’t pass.”

Julian licked his lips.

“Listen, the agency wants to keep you safe—“ he started but then his phone beeped. He grabbed it to take aa look at the screen, then cussed under his breath.

“What?”

“Check your texts.”

You touched the screen and frowned as your eyes skimmed the text.

From: General

Time to come home.

“Well,” you muttered, your heart dropping to your stomach, “Shit.”

                                                   ***

Coming back home was harder than ever now. After catching up with Keith and Chloe, you were taken to your new apartment that was given to you by the agency as usual, and for the whole night you couldn’t sleep.

Even if there was no trace of Bucky in your new apartment –in your new life, you still couldn’t shake off this feeling. It was as if the moment you had entered the country, Bucky had entered your life in an instant.

Odds were, you wouldn’t really see him again. After all it was a big city, and Bucky wasn’t exactly the social type.

So your first week back in New York wasn’t exactly terrible. You were still waiting for your orders while getting to know to the city slowly, because after long missions it always took time for you to remember you had a real life there, real memories—

Well, as real as it could be, for a spy.

“Just see it as a vacation,” Chloe had said, “They threw you into another mission as soon as you got out of the country, it’s just a delayed vacation.”

As far as vacations went though, this one just sucked.

Maybe it was because you couldn’t keep away from places you and Bucky had been too, like this coffee place where you had first officially met.

You sipped your coffee, scrolling down on the news website as your eyes skimmed yet another article about Accords and whether you could trust superheroes or not, but you were soon distracted when someone pulled the seat across from you, making you look up from your phone.

And as soon as you did, your heart dropped.

You had to give it to the General, he was manipulative, he was a liar and he had betrayed your trust terribly but the one thing he had done right was training you well. Aside from that one second, you managed to adapt a look of nonchalance on your face, slowly putting your phone down.

“Hello Cap.”

Sam raised his brows and eyed you up and down.

“You’re back?”

You could swear he could hear your heartbeat and you shrugged your shoulders, looking around.

“Yeah,” you said, “Big apple and everything.”

“So much for the small town girl.”

“I have never been a small town girl,” you drawled, “Never been to Oregon either.”

“Yeah, I can tell.”

You turned your coffee cup on the table just so you could do something with your hands.

“Why?” he asked after a beat and you shifted your weight despite your whole training of feeling calm and collected, nervousness hitting you out of nowhere.

“You’re a veteran, Wilson,” you managed to say, “You don’t need me to tell you how the chain of command works. Army doesn’t care how we feel about orders.”

“I’m very familiar with how chain of command works,” he pointed out, “But you’re not a soldier, Y/N. You’re a spy.”

“That makes it even worse,” you stated, “I know it sounds like an excuse, but… you don’t know how my agency works. I don’t get to say no to orders, and I sure as hell don’t get to blow my own cover.”

“But you wanted to, didn’t you?”

Jesus Christ, Wilson was really good at this observation thing.

“Doesn’t matter what I want,” you said, “I’m no use to anyone if I develop a conscience.”

“But you did,” he insisted, “Why else would you come to help us? Why else would you warn him beforehand?”

“He told you about that?”

He shot you a look, “What do you think, Y/N?”

You scoffed a laughter. “I was feeling generous,” you said, “No other reason.”

He kept his gaze on you for a couple of seconds, as if trying to see whether you would cave before he took a deep breath.

“You know he was going to propose, right?”

That-

That was just too much. You could feel your jaw hanging as you stared at him in complete silence, his words echoing in your ears.

“No,” you said after a moment, then shook your head fervently, your nose in the air, “No you’re wrong.”

“I’m not,” Sam said, “Apparently he was looking for this… house painted in white with—a red door or something.”

Don’t cry.

Do not fucking cry.

Spies don’t cry over heartbreak.

You clenched your jaw and blinked back the tears, straightening your back.

“It’s a good thing he didn’t get to, then.”

“Y/N, he loved you.”

“No Sam, he loved someone who doesn’t exist,” you replied, “Sweet small town girl with sundresses and smiles and some house in the suburbs with kids and all that shit. Girls like me don’t get that ending, I have way too much blood on my hands.”

He pressed his lips together and you cleared your throat.

“How much does he hate me?”

“Why do you think he hates you?”

“Assassins aren’t good at forgiving,” you said, “I would know, we don’t have that talent.”

“That’s not a talent, that’s a choice.”

“It really isn’t,” you muttered, “So?”

“Why don’t you ask him?”

You let out a bitter laugh, “Yeah no. Actions have consequences and I’d rather not cross paths with the deadliest assassin in the world after double crossing him.”

“But you want him to forgive you.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Intuition,” he said and pushed his chair back to stand up.

“He didn’t kill your father, Y/N.”

You heaved a sigh.

“I know,” you said, “Trust me, I would’ve walked away so much easier if he had.”

“Enjoy your coffee,” he said and walked out of the coffee house. You threw your head back, closing your eyes.

“Yep. I shouldn’t have come back.”

                                                  ***

“I never thought I’d say this, but I kind of hate that we’re not living so close anymore,” you pressed the phone between your shoulder and your ear and opened the door to your apartment as Keith chuckled.

“I knew you’d miss me.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re a softie deep inside. Very very deep inside.”

“If you repeat that in front of anyone I swear to God…” you muttered and he groaned.

“Have I told you they’re putting me in the same team as Julian?”

“You guys have a new mission?”

“Not a long one probably.”

“Why the fuck am I—“

“Because you’re on a vacation,” he cut you off, “And also they’re probably going to make you a handler, that’s worth waiting for.”

“That or….”

“We’re not talking about that on the phone,” Keith said quickly, “Amateur.”

“Careful there, I’ll outrank you soon enough,” you said, walking to the bathroom to wash your hands. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Alright, see you later!” he said and hung up. You put your phone into your pocket, then washed your hands and made your way to the kitchen.

It was only when you put the wine bottle back into the fridge that you noticed something was off. Your body moved on its own accord, before you knew it you had already grabbed the knife in your boots and threw it to the figure in the dark corner of the room but he easily caught it, metal hitting what sounded like another kind of metal before he stepped out of the corner. Your breath caught in your throat, and for the first time in your life you froze, all the training leaving your mind.

You were supposed to be looking for a weapon, any kind of weapon but somehow, your body refused to move.

Bucky turned your knife in his hands, his gaze pinning you to your spot before he tilted his head.

“Hi honey,” he said, his voice way too cold. “I’m home.”

Chapter 24

[itgetsbetterproject]

📚 QUEERBOOK 2024 is hereee! We made a book by and for LGBTQ+ youth! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

Last year, we asked LGBTQ+ youth: what's your idea of a "queer utopia?"

Not gonna lie - with more than 150 bills introduced in 35 states in 2023 that aimed to restrict student access to inclusive and diverse books and other library materials, the theme felt pretty radical.

And you DELIVERED. With the help of our Youth Voices (amazing queer youth activists from across the country), we compiled your amazing submissions of poetry, short essays and letters, visual art, photography, and more into Queerbook 2024. Like a yearbook, it captures what queer youth are feeling, going through, and hoping for - right here, right now across the U.S.

It's also no accident that it's the perfect small-ish size to stash in your locker or backpack so you can crack it open any time you're looking for some queer connection. :3

Read some more about the book and grab your own limited-run copy of Queerbook 2024 now here.

[cno-inbminor]

iterum vivere (childe/tartaglia)

a/n: wow, it’s been fucking forever. first genshin fic featuring childe/tartaglia!!! a very huge thank you to @suspensin​ for reading this over and being my rock and support, and i love her so fucking much. I couldn’t have finished this without her!

plot: reincarnation and modern/uni!au ft. afab reader!traveler with she/they pronouns x childe/tartaglia 

-- in which meeting childe is a bit of a dangerous game of push and pull

wc: 12.1k; angst + fluff

warnings:  DOES CONTAIN IN-GAME SPOILERS (1.5? 1.6? + story quest and idek) and NSFW MENTIONS (mdni to be safe). there’s no explicit smut but thoughts do run a bit wild here and there

EDIT: Altered ChiLumi version now posted on AO3 here!

“Haven’t we met before?”

The shine in your eyes does nothing to hide your curiosity, head even tilting a little in observation. He watches them scan his face for any recognizable features, but attempts to focus on the strange, taut string of déjà vu that pulls him toward you. In a moment of absentmindedness, he had heard a faint voice call out his name from your direction. Confusion overtook him as you weren’t looking at him, but something inside his brain said that it had to be from you. And so his feet redirected his path towards your figure in the student union building, as if on a mission.

“A fucking whale, Childe?”

Oh.

“I don’t think so…?” You trail off, curiosity now replaced by perplexed feelings. “Do we have a class together?”

I think I would’ve noticed you by now if you were.

“Ah, what’s your major?” Childe asks quickly to avoid listening to the little voice in his head.

“History and anthropology, you?”

“Economics, but I’ve taken a history course for core credits. Maybe it was then?”

“With Dr. Zhong?”

“Yes!” He snaps his fingers. Part of his brain decides to usefully function and scan his memories to see if he remembers your face or head of hair in the lecture hall then. “Last year? Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 to 11:20?”

“Actually, yeah,” you affirm in surprise. You think you would remember the relatively attractive ginger in your class, but honestly, it had all been such a blur and you were often pretty sleepy during class. Dr. Zhong didn’t quite appreciate it, but you made up for it with your exam and essay grades, as well as paying better attention in some of his other courses.

“Did you need me for anything?”

“I’d like for you to come visit and meet my family.”

He’s really not appreciating this extra voice speaking for him.

“Well…uh…” Childe stammers and looks away sheepishly, hand rubbing the back of his neck. He honestly had no reason for approaching you, and now, he just looks like a desperate idiot. Think quick, he tells himself, floundering for some shitty excuse.

“I wanted to, uh, take another history course as an elective and um, wanted to know if you had any recommendations?”

“Oh,” you blink. That’s a first. When he meets your gaze, the swirling shades of sapphire strike something deep within you. Flashes of events you can’t make out go by in the blink of an eye, but then you realize you’ve been staring for too long. Blood rushes to your cheeks because you don’t exactly want this guy to get the wrong idea from you, because how are you supposed to explain, “I’m sorry, but I think we have met before, but just a really, really long time ago, and we might’ve been more than just acquaintances because that’s what it feels like?”

“I think you’d like Teyvat Mythology,” your voice wavers on the verge of cracking. “Dr. Zhong might have a TA this time around, but Xiao’s a great teacher. Doesn’t have long, rambling anecdotes, but explains things well and gets straight to the point.”

“C-cool, I’ll look into it,” Childe replies and smiles brightly. “I’ll head out then,” jabbing a thumb over his shoulder, where he just realized he left a grouchy Scaramouche waiting by a vending machine, newly purchased Starbucks Tripleshot drink in hand. “Nice seeing you, (y/n).”

He scurries off before you both realize that you never told him your name.

“Who’s that?” Scaramouche asks, jutting his chin in your vague direction.

“Someone from my Intro to Liyuean History course last year,” Childe waves off. “Come on, let’s go before the line at the pasta bar gets too long.”

-

The next time you see Childe is by accident, traversing across an open field of grass that many students like to sit out on to relax with friends, sunbathe, hold events, or play casual team sports if room permits.

You had your earbuds in and were scrolling through social media when laughter rang above all other sound, causing your head to snap up and swivel around to find the source. And while it might’ve been strange to an outsider, your steps immediately slowed as you watched the man of your tiring, vivid dreams sprint in your direction, eyes pinned on a frisbee heading towards him.

He’s wearing a grey sports tank and basketball shorts, headband holding back his bangs as he makes a slight jump in the air to catch the plastic disc between his palms. His feet plant into the grass as he looks for someone to pass it to, and you watch (with embarrassment) the muscles in his throwing arm relax and tighten with practice, frisbee steadily soaring through the air in a beautiful arc towards a teammate. He then lightly jogs to get closer to his group, but then his back stiffens.

Before your instincts kick in for you to turn and bail, he looks over his shoulder and stares straight at your now stunned self.

The sole ruby earring that glints in the sunlight catches your attention, and you recall your dreams of terrifyingly dark, violet electric power, blades of water rushing toward you, and then the stomach-churning sensation of falling from great heights pours concrete into your veins—

Childe looks a little amused for having your sole focus, hand lifting up for a quick wave. And as you numbly return the greeting, your heart beats out, “Run from him.”

And so with the flight response pulsing and firing from your synapses, you abruptly speed walk away, almost breaking out into a sprint towards your dorm. You ignore his pointed, confused look, and pretend you don’t feel the two holes of imaginary fire searing into your back. It isn’t until you’re laying back in bed that you release a huge sigh of relief and pray to a deity you don’t believe in that those eyes of mirth will not haunt you tonight.

But of course, with a deity that doesn’t exist, the prayers go unanswered.

-

���Do you believe in any of the mythology you teach?” You ask Xiao about a few days later when you stop by his cubicle. Luckily, no one else is around for this conversation, and Xiao has always been kind enough to humor your thoughts. Granted, he might feel obligated because you had asked Dr. Zhong to be your advisor for your undergraduate Honors thesis, and Xiao was directed to be your receiver of some general questions and source of information if he wasn’t around.

A quick scan of your complexion tells Xiao everything he needs to know. Your eyes are overtaken with rumination and exhaustion, haziness clouding them as you seem to ponder over your own question. It’s not often that you ask him anything not related to your thesis or coursework.

“Perhaps there’s some sense and truth to the tales passed down,” he softly muses. “What makes you ask?”

You lift yourself to sit on the clean area next to his computer, legs slowly swaying back and forth. “It might sound crazy but...I’ve been having dreams lately. They feel too real, too natural to be anything that my mind would make up. I’ve never had the most creative imagination by any means, which is why there’s some comfort to me being a history major, but I can’t shake these.”

“So why ask me about the mythology?”

“...the Archons are there. I even dreamt that I met the Geo and Anemo Archons. And they controlled various elements, just like we were taught.”

You don’t notice that Xiao has ceased his rapid typing, fingers hovering over the keyboard before one hand removes his glasses from his face. He uses the other to rub his eyes and softly pinch the bridge of his nose before sliding the frames back on. Dark, golden amber eyes survey you as you grapple with the unfathomable possibilities of your nightly visions, at least until you shake your head in disbelief at yourself and lightly scoff.

“Who am I kidding?” You ask no one in particular. “Maybe I’ve been doing too much research and everything’s mixing together.”

“You’re ahead of schedule, if that provides any consolation.”

“Some.”

-

It takes Childe a grand total of one minutes and 53 seconds to sign up for Teyvat Mythology for the spring semester.

-

WInter in Liyue is only slightly miserable, being so close to the ocean. It’s chillier than usual on this dreary day, yet something compelled you to exit your dorm and shakily make your way to the campus coffee shop for a warm drink. Coffee, hot chocolate, you haven’t quite decided yet, but just as you let yourself bask in the warm building, familiar ginger hair and blue eyes wash away the comfort.

Or do they douse you in security?

They remind you of your recent dreams that now have shifted away from stress and violence to easygoing summer days by the oceanside, running barefoot in the sand while collecting beautifully patterned azure starconches. Sometimes, you thrust a hand towards an oversized four-leaf clover on a wooden stake with the power of wind and catch yourself in the air, soaring and looking around to find more of the little shells. Other nights, they consist of climbing steep cliffs, only to sit at the edge in the clouds with fatigue wracking through your system and marvel at the view before you.

Someone’s always with you though, ruby earring and maroon mask and cobalt blue gem hanging from the waist, sprinting with you, playfully tackling you down, pulling you up towards mountain peaks, laying their head on your shoulders, brushing their lips against your cheek--

You welcome the change of peace in those dreams, but only because they don’t leave you quite as tired the next day, as if you’d been avoiding an inescapable dark force.

Part of you wants the burning question of why this person, this man, in all his glory and brightness, affects you so fucking much when you barely even know the guy -- why looking at him sends your heart to lodge itself in your esophagus, why your lungs feel like they’re so close to being completely collapsed under the weight of his stare, why feeling like you’re trapped and  caught between wanting to run towards yet away from him.  It makes no sense, and you’re tired of trying to make sense of anything you don’t exactly want to remember from your dreams for some, once again, inexplicable reason.

But there’s no time to think as he quickly ambles towards you, your own feet shuffling forward to meet him in a warped reference of a distance that constitutes to “the middle” before you can stop yourself. Your shivering hasn’t quite stopped yet, and Childe seems to take notice of it.

“Pretty cold out there,”  he softly states. It’s cute, the way you’re curling in on yourself to retain some warmth.

“Y-yeah, not sure why I decided I really needed something warm to drink right now,” you reply and avoid his gaze. He watches you peer over his shoulder to squint at the menu display hanging from the ceiling, seemingly contemplating on what you should get.

“How about I get yours today? My treat for your class recommendation last time.” Anything to keep you here longer. Childe doesn’t realize how much he’s missed you, which confuses him, and chooses to ignore the fact that he’d been camping himself at the study tables in the building where the history department is located in hopes of even just catching a quick glimpse of you.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” you immediately attempt to subvert his generous offer, hands shooting out from your jacket pockets and waving in rejection. “It was nothing.”

“Please?” Childe puts on his best puppy eyes before reaching for one of your wrists, gently tugging you to the register. “Just this once?”

You want so badly to squash the tiny flare of disappointment that erupts in your chest from the newly acquired knowledge that this was just a one time thing. Do econ majors hate to feel in debt? That they must be even with everyone, or would rather have people indebted to them than the other way around?

There’s no time to think when Childe gives the cashier his order before turning to you, and without wanting to waste anyone’s time, you rattle off your usual beverage. He’s quick in fishing out his student ID to spend some of his campus currency, shooting you a boyish grin when you pout at your half-opened wallet.

“Go take that table over there,” he says, pointing to one in the corner by some windows. “I’m gonna tell my friends to go on without me.”

“I didn’t mean to intrude or pull you away from them,” you slightly panic. The sooner you can leave, the better. Right? “You don’t need to sit with me, I was just gonna head back to my dorm.”

“I insist. Go ahead, I’ll be right there.”

Why your brain takes his orders over your own is a mystery in and of itself, because before you know it, you’re plopped down in one of the lounge seats and staring off into space, mind reeling over the last two minutes. You pretend you can’t hear the way Childe’s friends nudge his arm playfully with their shoulders, wiggling their eyebrows suggestively as Childe tries to get them to stop being nonsensical.

“You’re gonna scare them off,” he hisses at them, hands pushing at their backs so they could finally leave him to his devices.

“Not before you do!” One of them laughs and Childe groans at their antics. “All right, all right, we’ll go. They’re cute though, might steal them if you don’t make a move.”

The darkening of the aura surrounding Childe is too quick for them to fully process, not before he dampens any of their fleeting hopes with a, “Don’t even fucking think about it.”

But it disappears just as fast when his and your drinks are called out, and he gives them one last shove before retrieving your to-go cups. Childe directs all his focus towards the seat diagonally from yours as opposed to the one that’s straight across, and you’re sharply ripped away from whatever reverie you let yourself slip into.

“Thank you,” you murmur, hands cupping the drink and feeling the heat seep into your fingertips. “You really didn’t have to, it was nothing big.”

“Can you blame me for just trying to find an excuse to finally talk to you?” He asks without a skip and you can’t tell if the quickening of your heartbeat is from a looming sense of doom or excitement. Those eyes, the tiny swirls of the ocean, blue like those shells buried in the sand--

It takes three seconds too long for you to understand where he was going with in his words, and part of you feels unamused at his smooth talking. You’ve always guarded yourself against guys like Childe, devilishly handsome who know their way around language semantics, ready to pull you in and just as ready to push you away. That (possibly unfair) bias, coupled with everything else you’ve been feeling for him, sounded the alarms and set the walls up around your heart. Perhaps you need to stop wearing your heart on your sleeve, because Childe immediately retracts his forwardness.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I promise I’m not looking for anything in return and you don’t owe me anything, but I really did just...want to sit and talk and...get to know you?” Childe trails off a little towards the end. Your body loosens up and relaxes just a tiny bit, feeling bad for your snap judgment. Let the guy do something nice, don’t look into it too much, you tell yourself. It’s a coffee, not a five-course dinner.

You reach out a hand towards him, small smile across your lips, ready for his to join yours in a quick handshake. “I’m (y/n), senior history and anthropology double major. It’s nice to meet you.”

The pounding of your heart against your ribcage has nothing to do with the shimmering of his eyes, nothing to do with the fact that his hand fits with yours just right, and nothing to do with the fact that an eerily similar voice from your dreams whispers, “I love you.”

You learn a number of things about Tartaglia in the four hours, like his family members and their respective interests, which classes he did and didn’t enjoy taking, certain takes on Schnezhnayan politics, his own various hobbies, crazy accidents from the occasional college parties, and more. He’s a bit of an open book, probably telling you way more than any regular person would, and definitely more than anything you revealed during all this time. Everything you tell him seems surface level, nothing too deep. The walls are still there to protect you from the unexplainable, profound feelings his presence seems to elicit, and luckily, he doesn’t prod any further. Childe feels the resistance and respects it, which just adds more brownie points in your book, and you almost feel bad for having given so little in return.

“I wish we were taking Teyvat Myth together,” he sighs when walking you back to your dorm, hands stuffed in his pockets. His ruby earring catches the light from the sunset, the shade almost complimentary to the golden amber rays that streak across the sky. “Would’ve helped having a history major in there.”

“Is that all I am to you, an answer bank?” You jokingly ask, but he watches concerningly as you shoot your gaze to the ground, mindfully stepping over the cracks between concrete slabs.

“Of course not,” a gentle sincerity reaches you, giving you the confidence to make eye contact with him. “I’m sorry for making it sound like that, it wasn’t my intention. I really just meant it as a way of saying if the professor or TA ended up being a total bore, then well, having you would make it more fun.”

“I’m sure I’d bore you even more,” chuckling, speeding up to get away. You’re growing too comfortable in whatever atmosphere Childe has created, like an enclosed air bubble bobbing gently in the depths of the sea and letting the waves carry you both to whichever ends of the earth.

“Hey,” he interjects, hand reaching out to stop you with a soft yank of your wrist. There is no resisting force from you, feet stepping backward until he meets you eye to eye. It’s unfair in the way that he can render you motionless by standing just an inch from you, arms brushing with his head tilted closer to your own. “Seriously, I’m glad we did this today. Are you?”

No, because now I don’t know what to think, I don’t know who you are, I’m not any closer to figuring out why you terrify yet leave me so enamoured with you, I’m torn between punching and kissing you and--

“Yes,” you subconsciously answer, brain immediately short-circuiting to scold yourself. “I had fun.”

His grin, charming, devilish, is so so bright, bright enough to rival the Liyue sun that sits on the pier, on the edge of the ocean, bright enough to rival the love that your fraternal twin showers you with on a daily basis. You want time to stop right here because you’re almost sick of the voice settled deep within your heart that screams, “Don’t get comfortable, you must run from him!”

“Good. Let’s do this again?” And you nod, of course you do. Foolish you. “Don’t be a stranger!” He calls out as he turns on his heel and waves over his shoulder, hand raised in the air, and you’re suddenly transported to another scene, a less refined version of the Liyue Harbor, watching as the head of ginger hair with a red mask in a flashier attire of grey and maroon walks away from you and onto a roaring, magnificent ship; big, ivory sails only seen in books and museums. It’s the same gesture of “see you later”, and just before he turns, you blink, and you’re back to seeing your campus again.

But Childe does look back once, warm and content that you’re still standing there, watching over him, and he can’t help but think about when he can spend time with you again, because suddenly, it truly feels like there’s not enough of it anymore.

-

“Excuse me, what’s a Red Bull?”

The last thing, or person rather, you expect to see on the last day of finals for the fall semester, is a small boy who looks way too young to be here, tugging on the sleeve of your windbreaker. He’s at most eleven, ten maybe, but he has eerily similar characteristics, as well as an accent that doesn’t quite belong to most Liyue natives. Still gathering your bearings from your own perusing of the fridges that hold all the possible beverages a college student could consume, you kneel down until you’re at eye level with the child.

“Repeat that for me? Are you looking for a Red Bull, you say?”

“Yes!” He beams and holds out a student ID that most definitely doesn’t belong to him. “My brother asked me to grab him one because he was busy with something.”

Your eyes flit over to the top shelves where the aforementioned cans of caffeine are located, and definitely too high for someone of his height to reach. “I’ll grab one for you. Did he ask for a specific flavor?”

“Nope, he said regular. Thanks, you’re really nice! Do you know my brother?” He asks, waving the ID at you so you can get a better look at the name. That’s definitely a face you recognize, but the name leaves you confused.

“Yeah, um,” glance over again, “I know...Ajax…”

“He’s the best toy seller in the whole world!”

Somehow, it suits him much better than Childe or Tartaglia, and you’re not quite sure what toys have anything to do with the matter at hand. Speaking of hands, the little boy grabs yours in sheer delight. “Can you take me back to his room? I kinda forgot the directions he told me, and everything’s so big around here.”

“Sure, just let me buy something, too, and I’ll take you.”

“Okay!”

The cashier isn’t the least bit fazed by the little brunette at your side -- it’s always common for family members to come in around the end of semesters to pick up kids or visit, and being an open building with snacks and drinks and a stopping point of most tours, they’ve seen it all. You even let him pick out a bag of chips and a candy bar for himself for being so polite and not a complete menace, paying with your own campus currency.

Teucer, as you’ve learned in the last two minutes, likes to point out things and ask you questions. Luckily, you have answers to most of them and do your best to pad the time, enjoying the feeling of a tiny hand wrapped around three of your fingers. It’s sweet to any normal passerby, believing they’re witnessing an older sister doting on their little brother around the holidays, but to Childe, seeing the tender sweetness on your face as you nod along to whatever Teucer is rambling about to you, sets his heart aflame. He’s already constantly on the verge of wanting to hug and kiss you and never let go, but you haven’t made any indication that you could potentially like him back, and this is just torture.

“Look what they bought me!” Teucer shoves his rewards in Childe’s face as if he had extremely poor eyesight, and you can’t help but laugh a little as you set his Red Bull down on his desk, clutching your own preferred beverage while looking around his room. Finals must have gotten to him with the unusual lack of tidiness in the small space, some laundry strewn here and there, a couple boxes of eaten microwave dinners in the metal wire trash can, some textbooks left open and marked with more sticky notes than you’ve ever seen. You’d only been here once before to drop off some food that he desperately messaged you about, stuck doing a project that he just couldn’t step away from.

“Pretend you don’t see the mess,” Childe pleads, handing a kid tablet to his brother but holding on before Teucer can take it. “What do you say to our nice friend here for buying you these snacks?”

“Thank you!”

“It was nothing,” you shyly smile, ruffling his hair. “I enjoyed meeting you.”

“Wait, what’s your name again?”

“It’s (Y/n).”

“Okay, (y/n)! Wait…(y/n)..as in…”

Teucer trails off and gives a look to his brother, one that spells curiosity and trouble, before he grabs your hand and pulls you into a corner. Any movement Childe makes to leave his desk chair is immediately squashed by Teucer’s disapproval, and the older man is left to helplessly worry when you’re told to squat down so secrets can be whispered into your ear.

“He talks about you a lot whenever he calls home,” and you want to laugh at Tecuer’s attempt to sound as scandalous as possible. “All the time! I think he likes you, like, like like.”

Oh. Oh dear.

“What makes you say that?” You whisper back, indulging both yourself and him, yet also internally snickering at how troubled Childe looks.

“Sometimes, he video calls mama, but we’ll all sit around and talk, and whenever he’s talking about how he saw you or something, he just looks...happy. Really happy.”

The surprise on your face does nothing to settle Childe’s nerves and he’s about to start wringing his hands together. Whatever Teucer was telling you couldn’t be good, probably embarrassing, like the one time he unceremoniously fell on his ass while ice skating over a frozen lake, or when he tried fitting fifteen marshmallows in his mouth and nearly choked on them when their mother caught them in the act, or--

“I think he just thinks of me as a good friend,” you try to inform Teucer, not letting yourself get any semblance of hope. “Nothing more, nothing less.”

“If you say so,” Teucer pouts. But then he stops whispering and bounds over back to his brother, grabbing the tablet before plopping down on the half-made bed.

“Look, I was overconfident and thought I could execute a perfect single loop on the ice, but there was a rock and I lost balance and--”

“I wasn’t being told any stories about you falling on ice, but do tell me more,” you chuckle and take some joy in watching the blush spread across his cheeks. It’s easy to tell that he’s mentally berating himself for jumping to conclusions.

“Well, first off, thanks for buying him all that, and my drink, too,” he sighs. “I spoil him enough as it is.”

“I can see why it’s hard not to,” you smile knowingly. “So is it just him here? Where’s the rest of your family?”

“Funny story, he somehow managed to convince my parents to let him come here on his own as his first ever plane flight, so I had to pick him up yesterday from the airport. He’s flying back with me tomorrow.”

“And the RA?” You ask with an eyebrow raised.

“Ah...well...what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him? Speaking of, what was Teucer whispering to you about?”

There’s a pensiveness that overtakes you when you look at Teucer again, who’s happily playing some sort of game and completely oblivious to the rest of his surroundings. You won’t, can’t, take his words to heart, and will take them with a grain of salt at most.

“Nothing important. Although I did learn something new...Ajax?”

“Say my name -- fuck, say it, please--”

“I guess cat’s out of the bag,” he chuckles and looks away, absolutely unaware of the flare of heat that swirls in your stomach from the fleeting vision just now. “I came up with other nicknames as a kid to seem cooler, and they just stuck with me. Plus, the business world is full of people who just want something from you, or just a transactional relationship. I’d rather not give my real name to them, if you know what I mean.”

“That’s fair,” you nod and lean to sit on the edge of his desk. A thought pops into your head and you turn the words over in your head like a washing machine on the spin setting, teeth gnawing on the flesh of your bottom lip. If Teucer hadn’t been in the room, he would’ve been this close to kissing you.

“But if it’s worth anything,” your voice slowly, softly starts, cautious and wary of your thoughts. “I think...Ajax suits you best.”

Curse fate. Curse the legendary Archons. Curse karma and deities and spirits because all he wants to do right now is stand and tower over you, trap you between himself and his desk so you can’t escape, take those pretty lips between his until they’re bruised and swollen because of him, hear you call out his name in the throes of pleasure so he can finally replace his fantasies with tangible memories. The unnatural, magnetic pull that draws him to you is unbearable now -- he feels like he’ll lose the last tendrils of his sanity if he doesn’t do something.

You can’t stop him from slowly reaching out to grab one of your hands, lifting it towards him until he’s close enough for you to feel his breath ghost over your knuckles. It sends a shiver down your spine and blood is pounding in your ears because you can’t begin to fathom what he’s thinking about while doing this, even more so when his lips make contact with your skin and your breath hitches, stuck in your throat as he languidly peeks at you beneath his eyelashes with a heated gaze, then lowly confessing, “My name sounds best when you say it.”

Good heavens.

It’s difficult to swallow and keep your composure, especially when Teucer yells out in glee over, what you can assume, beating something in his game, and Childe drops your hand. But his dilated pupils don’t retract in the slightest, refusing to let you look away so that maybe, you can understand what he’s trying to convey to you. He’s taking the first step because he’s terrible and can’t contain his self-control anymore, pushing the ball into your court, ready for you to either play or exit into the sidelines.

When you do blink, there’s a vision of your naked body wrapped around another, limbs clinging desperately to a sturdy and panting frame. Lips, much like the ones that have seared themselves onto your knuckles, are at your neck and sucking, biting, before moving to your ear and laying filthy words into them that drive you closer to the edge. It all happens so fast that you feel you’ve just experienced whiplash, yet also feeling secondhand embarrassment at how lewd some of these thoughts have been.

You can’t stay here any longer.

“I-I have to go,” spills off your tongue before you can really think about it. The way the haze shatters in his eyes is heartbreaking in its own way, but there’s no time for you to explain. Your brain is in overdrive and eager to run, run, run. It detects danger on all fronts, but you muster out a, “H-have a good break, come find me next semester, mmk?”

And you’re out the door with inhuman speed. When the door clicks shut, only then does Teucer look up from his screen and frown at the lack of your presence. “Where’d they go?”

Chlide doesn’t seem to hear him, and Teucer has never seen his big brother look so sad and confused before.

-

He holds on to that last tendril of hope, because mark his words, he will find you come January.

-

After about a week at home, enjoying the festive time with his family and mildly unconcerned about next year’s courses because that was a problem for another day, Childe has his first, crazy, nonsensical dream.

At least, that’s what he tells himself when he snaps awake and his body aches with exhaustion. Not only are his joints in agony, he also feels like he’s sporting unforeseen bruises, which makes absolutely no sense because he hasn’t done anything that would warrant them, no matter how much he and his brothers do some rough-housing. His night of sleep was all consumed by flashes and scenes of weapon fighting, lucid enough to remember feeling his arms flex and wield bows and double-headed polearms and being cognizant of all the enemies??? surrounding him. They ranged from deranged looking monsters, floating beings with soulless masks, and large humans in electricity-padded armor, to behemoth machines in the sky that could leave you within an inch of your life thanks to a drill for a hand?!

But what’s even worse is that you seem to have managed a deal with Morpheus himself and infiltrated his dreams. You were there, too, sometimes fighting with him, sometimes against him, much to his dismay, and while it was nice, he just didn’t get it. Why the friendliness and hostility? Why was there an anger that overtook him when looking directly at you, parrying your blade and sending harmful arcs of water toward your figure?

Why did he relish the fear in your eyes when he darted towards you with electricity cracking through the air?

There’s an overwhelming sensation now to grab his phone to text you and apologize -- for what, he can’t fathom and there are no words to accurately convey what he’s thinking. “Hey, sorry for wanting to kill you in my dream :( “? Or “Sorry for being a friend but then stabbing you in the back, but then being nice to you again”?

And the only thing that really made sense was the serenity and contentment that would course through his veins as the two of you danced around on ivory sandy beaches, picking up shiny blue starconches and taking down more weird creatures; the breathlessness when you would fall back into the water and re-emerge to reconfirm his beliefs that you were one of the most beautiful humans he’d ever laid his eyes on; the love--

Hold the fuck up.

He doesn’t love you. He likes you a whole lot and he’s severely and deathly attracted to you, but he doesn’t love you. Your existence has only been made known to him for about two months, and he didn’t really start talking to you until three weeks in. So no matter how comfortable he feels with you, no matter how much he wishes that you were sleeping peacefully next to him so his nights wouldn’t feel so lonely, it was too early, too hasty, to say that he loves you.

“I’ve been wondering, why didn’t you bring them home?” His mother asks him out of nowhere during breakfast, all to add to this extremely tumultuous roller-coaster morning he’s been having. All he wants to do is eat his bowl of milk and cereal, then potentially go back to sleep before fulfilling his promise to go with his siblings to the nearby skating rink. It takes everything in him to not choke on his spoon of grains.

“Agreed, didn’t you mention they didn’t really have any family to go back to and that the move to Liyue was semi-permanent?” His father chimes in, laying a quick peck on his wife’s temple. “It’s never fun to spend the holidays alone.”

“They would’ve felt like they were intruding,” Childe replies quietly, stabbing his bowl a few times before scooping up another spoonful of cereal to his mouth. “I know we’re friends, but we haven’t known each other for that long, and maybe they’d be uncomfortable because that’s a lot honestly…”

“You don’t know until you try,” his mother sings and pats him on the shoulder. “We do have a guest room after all.”

“For them and their twin?”

“And quite a comfortable futon with enough blankets.”

Childe smiles fondly at his parents’ kindness. He can only imagine what this winter break would’ve been like now -- you and your twin floating around, trying to help out with certain chores, sitting by the fireplace and watching TV, huddled up with mugs of hot chocolate, playing board games with everyone and engaging in all the shenanigans…

Laughing. Loving. Grinning. Basking.

Handing over one of his hoodies to you as a sick way of torturing yet blessing himself for seeing how lovely you look in his clothes, standing silently in the doorway as you attempt to help out with mealtimes next to his mother, watching you run around in the backyard and dodging his siblings’ snowballs while lodging a few of your own -- how wonderful it all would be.

But he squashes it down as quickly as possible, because you escaped his grasp. You ran away from his advances temporarily and even though you gave him permission to seek you out come the spring semester, he worries that you might take it back. Something will wake up inside of you to keep him out of your heart and your life, and he’s not confident enough at this point to believe there’s a good chance you will come spend the holidays with him and his family next year.

“Maybe next year, ma,” he sends her a hesitant, yet somewhat broken purse of his lips that’s just the least bit curved. It tells her everything he’s thinking, and the quick patting of his cheek lets him know she understands.

Half an hour later, Childe finds himself curled up on his side under the sheets, phone in hand as he stares at a blinking cursor. It shouldn’t be so hard to send a text to convey his holiday greetings, because that’s all it is -- part of him is becoming desperate and aching for some interaction with you, even if it’s just a text sent back for conventional social pleasantries. He’ll take it for now, right?

Before he can totally chicken out, his thumbs quickly type a, “Happy Holidays, (y/n) :)”, and it’s a little embarrassing how quickly after he hits the ‘send’ button that he tosses it over his shoulder so he’s not directly looking at it anymore. His heartbeat is too quick and he prays for no phantom vibrations or phantom sound notifications to avoid any disappointment of thinking he got a reply. It was a harmless text, yet he’s treating it like he just got assigned on a mission to go and murder someone for the first time. What will he do if you never text him back? Does that mean you really don’t want to talk to him? Are you dead in a ditch somewhere? Did you change numbers and not tell him? Did your twin get all the details and make the executive decision to block his number? Will he never get a chance to talk to you again, even if it’s about something in the Teyvat Mythology class next semester? Will you--

His shoulder screams in protest when he quickly flips himself over at the text notification sound, hands shakily unlocking his phone and opening up your conversation again. His heart rate significantly decreases, reaching back to its normal pace, especially as he reads the little words on his screen.

“Happy Holidays, Ajax ^^”

There is hope.

-

“You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?”

You’re huddled under the comforter of your twin’s bed, phone just peeking above the edge as you stare at it with a brightness in your eyes. For the most part, you had been sulking there, apart from meals and going back to your own room to sleep, and mentally berating yourself for the way you reacted to Childe the week before.

“He just texted me to say happy holidays,” shrugging to put on a facade of indifference. It’s stupid that you’re trying to hide your feelings from your twin of all people, who could pick apart and identify your emotions in a heartbeat. A roll of his eyes lets you know that you haven’t fooled him at all.

“So you think that whatever comment he made, which was very suggestive and indicative of clearly non-platonic feelings, was just something...friendly? Remind me again how you came to that conclusion?”

“I don’t know what I was thinking!” You whine, looking around to see if there was anything you could toss at him. “It’s just, with everything, all the dreams and stupid gut feelings, I just -- I don’t know, okay?? I can’t tell you enough how much I wish I had just kissed his stupid face and see where it goes from there.”

“Okay, gross, but don’t beat yourself up. Though...I do have a good idea on how to maybe get a good reaction out of him. You wanna go to the New Years’ celebration at Xiangling’s?”

“I think she’d threaten me with a knife if I didn’t. She wanted to go shopping at some point, too.”

“I’ll drop the overprotective brother act for one night, okay? One night, just to let this happen, and for your peace of mind.”

He does a fair amount of conspiring with Xiangling, a friend they met one time at a restaurant a couple years ago, even tagging along on the shopping trip. Together, the three of you find yourself a dress that Xiangling swears would make any person drool over you, including Childe, because at the end of the day, he was a person with the possibility of being attracted to you.

You think it’s a bit silly, but honestly, what do you have to lose at this point?

-

At 11:57PM on New Years’ Eve, Childe is standing outside in the freezing cold with his family, arms lifting up bags of sparklers and fireworks. They’ve driven out closer to the wild like they do every year, and everybody excitedly gets lighters ready, making sure someone’s got a clock out there that tells the seconds. As the younger kids open up the packaging and argue over which one to set off first, Childe’s phone vibrates in his coat pocket.

It’s 11:58PM when he manages to fish the device out and thank himself for buying gloves that are touch-screen friendly, excited to see that there are two texts from you, the latter reading, “Happy New Year!”. It doesn’t matter that you’re a little early, but he’s mainly intrigued by the fact a photo came before it. In his mind, you’re probably curled up with your twin brother, hopefully a selfie because wow, he misses your face.

He gets something else instead, and he is so glad that it’s dark outside and the electric lamp they have is too far away from him to draw any attention.

You have your arm around your brother’s waist and another girl’s that he doesn’t recognize, but it’s a full frontal view of your outfit, one that hugs your curves beautifully and shows more cleavage than he’s ever seen from you, sophisticated and elegant, yet fun and leaving enough to the imagination. There’s a bright smile coming from all of you, and you look like you’re at someone’s house or apartment with plenty of other people milling around in the back, but they don’t matter, not when all he can focus on is you.

Gorgeous, breathtaking, arousing, mind blowing, and gods, he wishes he could teleport to Liyue at this moment, find you, and kiss you right at midnight. Fuck the fact that he doesn’t exactly believe in superstitions like, “Kissing your significant other at midnight means you’ll last forever!” but he’s willing to take the chance with it on this night and the ones after, if he’s allowed. He tries not to think too much about pinning you against the wall and letting the world dissolve -- wants to be the one with the privilege to drag down that zipper and feel his bare skin on yours, and --

As Teucer starts yelling there’s only a minute left, he instinctively locks his phone and shoves it away out of anyone’s view. The last thing he needs is his family teasing him about ogling at your photo for a straight 50 seconds, wide-eyed and pupils on the verge of dilating, the visible breath leaving his mouth just a smudge more dense and prominent than usual.

The only thing he can do to distract himself from popping a boner in front of his parents is to join in on the countdown, making sure all the fireworks are set up correctly and grabbing a sparkler for himself. He waves it around with Tonia and promises to fulfill her wishes of taking one of those pictures right as she draws a pattern in the air. Their excitement is palpable and addicting, and even though the larger fireworks set off a few seconds after midnight hits, the nostalgia fills his lungs with fond memories and future wishes that they only continue this tradition for as long as possible, and hopefully, with you at his side.

-

When it’s 12:04AM, you get a picture message back of Childe bundled up in a black paletot coat, matching beanie and all, a gloved hand holding a sparkler and lips curved upwards, with a caption that says, “Happy New Year’s! See you soon :)”. You show it to Xiangling and your brother, both taking it as a win in their books, although the former does tipsily protest that there should be a better indicator of Childe’s brain breaking at how amazing you look right now. Maybe she’s prophetic, because another text chimes in and the words set you aflame, as well as suggestive whoops into your ears.

It’s a simple, “You look incredible btw”.

If you didn’t want to properly savor this moment, you would’ve found the nearest shot of the strongest liquor and tossed it back with abandon. But you want to remember the warmth in your veins that wasn’t from the alcohol or the heating, the fluttering of your heartbeat, the teeth-baring grin that you couldn’t fight off, the constant re-reading of those four words -- because they’re so different from everything you had been feeling before with him, the need for protection, the need to escape. Instead, you’d like to be in his arms right now and see for yourself how he’d look at you in this moment, and if he would take any action.

You want him to. So, so bad.

-

Childe spends his last week at home hating the fact that you’re just sitting around somewhere in Liyue, doing whatever you’re doing, probably doing some light preparation for your last semester of classes, and he’s not there to take advantage of all this free time and hang out with you. When classes start, it’ll be busy and hectic. You still have your thesis to finish and revise, and while that won’t eat up all your time, it’s still some that he’d want to fill in with his presence if he could. He debates whether or not he should ask for your schedule and compare it with his, maybe set up meetings every other day or propose that they all eat one meal together every day. Childe’s not quite sure of what you plan to do after graduation, as it hasn’t come up in conversation yet, but either way, he’s determined to stay in contact and make things work out. Long distance isn’t ideal, but with technology now, he’ll take it.

He feels a little bad for how excited he probably looked to be leaving home, uncharacteristic for the most part. His older siblings have already gone back to their respective homes, and it’s mainly Teucer and Tonia that worry and tear up when he starts packing his belongings. Tonia finds it unfair that Teucer got to meet you first and the latter makes sure to rub it into everyone’s faces. It’s hard for Childe to sleep on the plane because he’s thrumming with excitement, yet somehow even more nervous than usual when the plane hits small bouts of turbulence, and he doesn’t seem to relax until he sets foot back on campus.

He’s here. It’s January, and you’re physically closer to him than ever in the last two weeks.

-

“Found you.”

On the first day of classes, you’re sitting alone with some salad greens in a bowl, poking your fork at some scraps while you watch something on your phone, earbuds in and back towards the entrance of the canteen. It would explain the unannounced entrance of the very person who’s been at the forefront of nearly every thought in the last 96 hours, his fingers gingerly removing an earbud to surprise you as best as possible, and you startle in your seat.

Your heart kicks into overdrive when he hands you back your earbud and pulls out the seat next to you, setting his own plate of food down as he plops down in his chair. But then he says nothing afterwards, instead choosing to send you a cheeky grin before digging in. You’re left to slowly phase out of your state of shock, stuck between either running away or frantically texting your twin to come and save you even though he was off on a date with Keqing.

It’s not that you weren’t elated at the fact that Childe had done exactly as you told him last month, you just weren’t...prepared? It’s a shitty excuse and a cop out -- you’re mainly just having trouble with racking your brain to find the right words. What are you supposed to say? What should you do? Is it socially acceptable to lean over and kiss him on the cheek because that’s what you’d like to impulsively do at this very second??

“So you did,” you settle and steal a roasted potato wedge from his plate. It’s his turn to be taken by surprise, but he gets over it much quicker than you do. In fact, he spears two wedges and drops them in your bowl, smiling at you as best as he can with a mouth full of food. You give them your thanks before the silence settles in again.

“Did you have a good break?” He asks before his next bite.

“I did. You?”

“It was nice. My parents said I should’ve brought you and your twin home to spend the holidays with us. Can’t say it didn’t cross my mind before finals.”

Holy shit, what? “We couldn’t intrude like that, but that’s really nice of you guys.”

“That’s okay, there’s plenty of chances to visit later.”

You tilt your head and furrow your eyebrows. “But we graduate this semester?”

Childe challenges you with one of his own eyebrows raised. “And? Are we never gonna see each other again?”

Honestly, the possibility had occurred to you. You aren’t entirely sure of Childe’s plans after graduation, and if that meant he was staying in Liyue or going back to Snezhnaya or even moving to Inazuma or Mondstat. While people preach on and on about how lasting friendships and relationships are often formed during college, you believe it’s more common to slowly drift apart as life gets busier. And if Childe moved away, or if you did, it’d be hard to consistently keep in touch with 10 hour workdays.

The thought saddens you, regardless. You like him so much and you’re glad that he was even in your life to begin with, because as unbelievable as it sounds, seeing him was almost akin to the feeling of coming home. Amidst all your nerves, your confusion, your spiraling thoughts, something deeply sated in your heart was a comfort that you found with very few people in your life whenever in his presence.

The thought of leaving and never looking back somehow doesn’t feel new -- it’s bittersweet, but the air in your lungs feels like it’s surrendered to something, like it was to be expected.

“You can’t just leave without telling me--”

“It was last minute! I had no choice!”

“You could’ve written up a message, anything--”

“Can you imagine the position you’d be in if the message got intercepted? I wouldn’t have been safe, she’d make you come after me--”

“As if you’d be any safer in Inazuma of all places! That’s the one place I can’t easily get to!”

“I can take care of myself, Childe, I don’t need you to protect me.”

“This isn’t about me protecting you, (y/n) and -- stop walking, will you?!”

“Then what is this about?” You spin on your wheel with eyes aflame. “Why are you so angry with me? It’s normal for me to disappear for weeks at a time, why was this any different?”

“Because you could’ve died!” He yells back in despair, chest heaving. Your silence is his cue to continue. “You could’ve died and I wouldn’t have known until much later. You could’ve died and all I’d ever think about were the things I never got to say to you, and how I wish I had treated every day with you like it was our last.”

It isn’t hard to tell that you’re stunned and at a complete loss for words. Childe often hides behind facades of charm and wit, and only when he is truly weak does he choose to be this vulnerable, baring his heart for you to see.

“I only have two nightmares in this world. One, my family being harmed in any way. Two, reading in a report or hearing from an agent that you’ve been captured and killed.”

“I like to think that we will.”

His hand reaches out to lay on top of yours, giving it a quick squeeze. “Well, let’s make the most of it this semester.”

Conversation afterwards is easy, filling each other in on holiday activities. Childe speaks extensively about several family traditions and you listen with rapt attention, basking in how fond he is of all of them. Even as you both bring your dishes to the return belt and leave, he immediately offers to drive you both somewhere to get boba, noticing your reluctance to part ways. But boba shops have to close, and you both have class tomorrow morning, and you’re both finding any excuse to keep talking, even if that means sitting outside your dorm building on a nearby bench.

You eventually bid each other good night’s and see you later’s, him refusing to walk away until the heavy door locks shut behind you after you swipe your student ID, and you looking over your shoulder to watch his figure disappear into the night.

-

True to his intentions, Childe makes great efforts to meet you at least once a day, and he can’t get enough. Each parting from you tugs and tugs at his heart, as if there’s a high possibility you’ll never want to see him again the next day, and he wouldn’t know what to do with himself. Your twin and Childe get along well for the most part, and he even meets Xiangling on one of her shifts at her regular restaurant, who sends you a salacious wink and an eyebrow wiggle over his shoulder that nearly causes you to burst from embarrassment.

February rolls over without a hitch, even if you’re a little disappointed that Childe didn’t make a move for Valentine’s Day. Granted, you two still spent time with each other and he’s so darn physically affectionate and he bought you a carnation from the event his dorm held, but you wish you had the guts to fess up and just kiss the man.

It’ll happen some day, you tell yourself. You have time before graduation.

Two days before the end of the Friday that would signal the start of Spring Break, you wake up in a cold sweat, mind reeling and head splitting, heart so so heavy, as a connection is made between your present and your dreams. Not long after, there are tears streaming silently down your face and into your open palms placed in your lap, and you sit in shock as everything comes back to you. Memories are such treasured burdens, you realize.

For the most part, you had gotten used to the dreams, choosing to take charge of what you know and feel now with Childe over succumbing to some strange neurological premonitions. Especially in your dreams when many people’s faces were blurred over and hazy, and the only things you could rely on were voices, touch, and other physical features. You thought that maybe your mind was just playing tricks by transposing Childe’s hair onto a body that was also strikingly similar to his, but for the first time last night, you could see each defining feature on his face as clear as day.

The sight of his figure arching gracefully over yours, the water arrows that appeared out of thin air, the back that protected you from some military men, the voice that said, “Hey girlie, hold still.”

And that was when you had snapped awake to your current state.

Past the initial shock and uncontrollable tears, you soon bent over as sobs wracked your chest, overwhelmed by all the emotions and the pain the memories brought you; losing your twin, finding him to only be left with even more questions after roaming for decades and decades, meeting all your loved ones throughout Mondstat and Liyue, fighting yet falling so hard for Childe, feeling the fear when facing his Foul Legacy form, hating him for Osial, loving him, breathing heavily as the tip of your blade was pointed at his neck and his own just centimeters from yours, tendrils of water inching closer and closer--

Everything makes sense now.

When you meet your twin for lunch at the cafeteria, you pay no mind to the fact that you’re in public and hug him harder than you ever have in years. He’s already a little alarmed that your eyes seem swollen and you look like finals came two months early, but when he asks what’s wrong, all he gets is a shake of your head and nothing more than, “Just a bad nightmare. I love you, y’know that?”

“I love you too?”

“Don’t sound so unsure, now let’s go and get in line before they run out of Jueyun Chili Chicken.”

Even when you meet Xiao later in the early evening to talk about your thesis, you find yourself holding back more tears just two minutes in, reminded of his past and his own life, and he’s moderately concerned, hesitantly handing you a tissue from the corner of his desk when a stray tear escapes. “Is everything okay?” He hesitantly asks, really hoping that he didn’t do anything to make you cry.

“No,” you almost wail and sniffle while dabbing at your eyes. “Sorry, it’s just been a really long day.”

Xiao’s inquisitive gaze softens, remembering how hard undergraduate life could be sometimes. Graduate school was a whole other level, but that shouldn’t discount your own personal difficulties. Plus, in all of the year and a half that he’s known you, you’ve never broken down like this before in front of him.

“You work really hard, Xiao,” you continue, and he’s not sure where this is coming from. “You’re always so helpful and willing to work with me and answer my stupid questions and like-- you practice self-care, right?”

Xiao nods as a white lie, but it seems to comfort you. Maybe too much because you pull him in for a quick and unexpected hug, and you both decide to reschedule this meeting for tomorrow.

As per usual, you wait for Childe to join you for dinner since you finished up earlier than expected. It gives you more time to think about everyone from Mondstat -- Kaeya, Diluc, Lisa, Jean, Amber...funny to think that some things never changed as you compared their past version to the ones you know now.

“Mora for your thoughts?”

There’s a peace that warms your heart when you hear Childe’s voice, one that forces you to smile at him as he sits down next to you. “Just thinking about old friends.”

“I have to admit, I’ll be a little jealous if it’s another guy taking up more space than me in that pretty brain of yours.”

What a flirt. This man isn’t good for your heart. “Who said you had any to begin with?”

He dramatically places a hand over his heart. “You wound me, (y/n). How will I ever recover?”

“You’re ridiculous,” you snicker. Childe reaches over to pinch your cheek and you bat at him in protest. Easily, he grabs one of your hands and simply pulls you towards the food lines, knowing that you’ll stop fighting back soon.

Part of it feels strange now to feel and see his hands with no leather gloves on.

“Childe,” you start halfway through your meal, continuing after he hums back in reply. “Do you believe in reincarnation?”

He freezes briefly, but recovers so quickly that if you hadn’t been watching so closely, you wouldn’t have noticed. “I think it’s neat, the idea of having past lives. Why do you ask?”

What he really wants to ask is if you’ve been having those dreams, too; if he’s starring in your nights like you have been in his.

“Just a thought, especially since you’re taking Teyvat Myth now, too.”

“Do you...do you think if there was a past life, that we knew each other?”

There’s something about the look of content on your face before you meet his gaze -- he thinks that you know more than you’re letting on but you’re holding back for some reason. He wants to know what’s going through your brain right now, why the fondness in your eyes sends a jolt through him like he’s been searching for it all his life, if you know anything about this magnetic pull between you two.

“I like to think that we knew each other well.”

-

Even though the first day of your returned memories was somewhat eventful, you couldn’t help but feel yourself wanting to pull back from Childe -- at least, until you can successfully compartmentalize which emotions belonged to you past self and which ones belonged to your current mindset. You didn’t quite agree with his duties and his affiliation with the Fatui back then, even if he had his reasons that did make sense, to some degree.

The killing, the threatening, so intent on stealing Rex Lapis’s Gnosis in the name of the Tsaritsa, summoning Osial as a mean to an end -- and you definitely can’t forget how stubborn he was in not listening to your protests, so caught up in his brain that you had betrayed him and sent you plummeting to a near-death experience despite his earlier promise of no intention of killing you specifically.

Everything had been toeing a faint, thin line with Childe then. Undeniable chemistry and tension, guarding yourself for yours and Paimon’s safety, slashing at Fatui agents, whispering out pleas and affirmations of “I’m yours” while riding him, sometimes having to sneak out in the mornings…

The only thing you don’t remember is how everything ends -- maybe it’ll come back to you eventually, but for now, you think you’re okay not knowing.

If Childe still doesn’t remember anything from back then, you think it’d be unfair to spend time with him in all your conflicting emotions, even when it’s spring break, where you have so much more hours in the day to be with each other than normal. Fun plans around Liyue had been made, like a two-day one-night trip to Yaoguang Shoal, and you’re this close to cancelling on him.

But he had been looking forward to it so much, even made most of the preparations for it. Who are you to rob that joy from him when it was you who couldn’t figure out your own shit? Are you self-destructing?

Perhaps.

Before you know it, you’re sitting in the passenger seat of his car, staring out the window at the scenery. Somehow, it pleased you to see that the nature of Liyue had been carefully preserved over the many centuries despite its development into the modern age. You get lost in picking apart the differences between then and now that you don’t notice how quiet you’ve fallen and Childe looks over worriedly when you show no reaction to your favorite songs playing on the stereo.

Even when he calls your name once, twice, nothing gives as you clearly have tuned everything out. So he leaves you be until there’s about half an hour left on the drive, unable to hold back and succumbing to reach over for your hand. You startle so strongly that he almost feels bad for having done it unannounced. But what’s even more disturbing is that this isn’t really the first time.

You’ve been talking to him less, often sitting quietly and staring off into another world that he can’t seem to reach. His texts are answered less frequently and with less wit and enthusiasm, so much so that he just appreciates you still show up to see him. Each time he asks if you’re okay, you always affirm that you are. He’s had a hard time believing you, but Childe believes you’ll tell him when you’re ready, surely.

It’s a little ironic yet fateful that Childe planned to bring you here, of all places. In the past, you had spent many days and nights running around in the sand with him, fighting slimes and hilichurls and collecting starconches for him. You remember laying on a large towel next to him as you both looked up into the sky, pointing out stars and constellations while sharing endless kisses away from prying, spying eyes.

“I’m sorry, I must’ve zoned out,” you sincerely apologize.

“It’s okay, I just wanna make sure you relax while we’re here. This is supposed to be a vacation.”

“You’re right,” you agree and squeeze his hand. “Let’s make the most of it before we become adults who are too busy to have fun like this again.”

And you do. Childe rented a small beach cabin (rich boys) closer to one end of the shoreline, just big enough with two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a small kitchen with a dining table. You help him bring in your bags and some groceries bought the night before, setting them down quickly so you can peer out the window again to take in the view. Childe picked a good time, too. Although it’d be a little chilly at night, the day was still warm and mainly overcast with clouds.

“What do you say we change into our swimsuits and head down to the water?”

“Sure.”

Childe hadn’t really been expecting for you to step out in a large, casual tee and gym shorts, one shoulder exposed. He might have been hoping to see a little more skin, but his mother didn’t raise a chauvinistic pervert for a son.

The light in your eyes as you both approach the water is everything he had been missing the last few days, your excitement and joy contagious. As soon as you place everything down on the sand, you kick off your flip flops and leave him behind to step into the water, giggling at feeling the waves crash over your ankles and bring sand between your toes. Childe approaches you from behind and starts smearing sunblock on the back of your neck, to which you just grin beautifully at him in thanks and he has to fight off the desire to kiss you right then and there.

You’re too caught up in embracing the ocean afterwards to feel the shrinking distance between you two, mistaking his warmth for the general spring air. It isn’t until he’s done with your shoulders that he hands you the bottle to leave you to do the rest of your body, and when you turn to thank him, he’s much closer than you remember. His eyes are gentle, holding your gaze and almost daring you to look away first.

But if there’s one thing you can place without a shred of doubt, it is the unmistakable look of love, because you had seen it many, many times before without knowing until later what it meant.

How so incredibly lucky you were to have Childe back in your life now, loving you all the same, and with no life-threatening barriers. Fate or the Archons have given you a second chance, and you’d be damned to take it for granted.

Childe welcomes your lips against his, wasting no time to bring you into his arms so you’re pressed against him as much as possible. He can’t care for the overt public display of affection because this is everything he’s wanted for months now, waiting patiently for you to give him permission to make you his. Your lips are incredibly soft and pliant against his as you first kiss him patiently, then applying more force and desperation to taste more of him. He mirrors you, one hand cradling the back of your head and the other on your neck with a thumb extended to your jawline, teeth moving to nip at your bottom lip. It’s dangerous, the way you smile against his lips, and when he sinks his teeth in deeper before pulling back, your quiet mewl nearly drives him over the edge.

But you’re in public, and this was an amazing first kiss. You two have a beach to enjoy and a fun night planned, and now that he doesn’t have to hold back on his affections, it’ll be even better.

His lips part from yours regretfully, his eyes languidly opening to meet yours. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots a blue starconch in the sand and freezes.

It’s not that he’s never seen one before, but something clicks. You. The shore. Starconches. Starry nights. His dreams. Monsters. Gods. Fighting. So much fighting. Training. His family. Dragons. You. Falling. You falling. You fighting him. Yelling. Kissing. Loving. Chasing. Him chasing you before you disappear at a teleport waypoint that somehow you only can operate. The abyss. Your twin.

Oh, Archons.

“ -ou okay, Ajax? Ajax?”

He snaps to look at you again. How does he go about this? How does he ask?

“(Y/n)...have you ever heard of the Fatui Harbingers?”

He has to admit that it’s a bit amazing to be able to identify all the emotions that cross your complexion, from curiosity to realization to conflicted. You’re actively trying to piece everything together without revealing too much on the off-chance that you’re wrong, that Childe hasn’t regained his memories and is just asking about something from class randomly and completely out of the blue.

Wait.

“You haven’t reached that material yet in class,” you whisper, heart in your throat at the realization. Could it really be…

“I was once Tartaglia, eleventh Harbinger of the Fatui, who possessed a Delusion and used my Foul Legacy Transformation with you several times,” he murmurs back, tucking a stray tendril behind your ear. “Is it too late to apologize again for summoning an ancient god and letting you fall about five floors with no warning?”

He should’ve been prepared for you wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a tight embrace. “No, never, but I spent weeks after kicking your ass so you’ve been long forgiven.”

Childe burrows his face into your neck, breathing in your scent and basking in this moment. There was so much to talk about, but you two arguably had more time in the world than ever with nothing holding you back. There was no impending war looming over, no one on the run, no opposing forces. His silent wish for a different life with you seems to have been answered finally. If running into you had been the event to set everything in motion, he only wishes he’d done so earlier.

All that matters now is you’re here together in this plane of existence, given a chance to love again, and experience everything you couldn't before.

As written in the stars, take my soul for it is forever yours.

fin

[watchmegetobsessed]

A STEP FURTHER

Sequel to SIT ON ME

a/n: as per requested, here is a part two to my recent sebastian fic! hope you guys will like it as much as you did the previous part! also, there’s not gonna be any more parts!

pairing: Sebastian Stan X Assistant!Reader

word count: 3k

masterlist

You were expecting it. You knew how the internet and most importantly, Sebastian’s fans work. Just hours after the event, dozens of videos got out of Sebastian saying that he wanted you to sit on him if he was a chair, an answer to a highly inappropriate question that shouldn’t have been asked in the first place, but your crazy ass boss thought otherwise.

It washed over the whole fandom and soon enough everyone was talking about the two of you. And because part of your job is to be up to date about Sebastian’s media presence, you had to face not just him but yourself all over the internet. Fans started to dig up every tiny interaction between the two of you caught on camera, they posted photo montages of you and him just out and about or going from one meeting to the other. They started to look for signs that you’re dating and half of the fandom became convinced that you’re in a secret relationship. Speculations and rumors spread faster than wildfire and there was no way to stop it, you just had to live with it.

In the meanwhile, Sebastian didn’t seem to be bothered by it at all. It’s like he didn’t even acknowledge the fuss about the two of you, like it was all so natural and normal to be seen as a couple by the whole world when you were just his employee.

“What? It’s not like I ever addressed anything about my dating life,” he shrugged one day when you asked him why he is not caring about the situation at all. And that was pretty much it.

The fans wouldn’t have been that big of a deal to you either. They are strangers, they always get fixated on something and soon enough you knew something new would come up and make them forget about your existence. The people close to you on the other hand are a whole different side of the story.

Following the event, Mackie wouldn’t shut up about Sebastian being hopelessly in love with you and he would nag you to go on a date already, getting on your nerves even more than he usually does with his nosiness. You love the man, you really do, but he needs to learn how to stay in his own lane.

And then, slowly but surely every friend you and Sebastian shared caught up on the story and they started asking you about it again and again and you had to tell them the same thing every damn time: you and Sebastian were working together, no romance was involved between the two of you.

No one believed you.

Now it’s been weeks and people still go crazy whenever you and Seb step out together, which happens quite often since he’s been having a busy month work-wise. Paparazzi are always following you around, catching every moment you spend out in the public, putting you on the tabloids nonstop. It’s become your usual.

Another day, another event. The day starts early for you before you pick Sebastian up and heading out to have breakfast before you are supposed to show up at the concert hall that’s going to be the venue of today’s interview and Q&A.

“Mackie has been blowing my phone up all morning,” you grumble upon seeing another text from said man before you just turn your phone screen facing down so you can finish your toast in peace.

“What does he want?” Sebastian hums.

“He is asking if I’m coming today, as if I missed any events these past weeks,” you huff shaking your head.

“He has been acting weird,” Sebastian grimaces, reaching for his coffee. “Weirder than his usual,” he adds.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, he just asks weird stuff,” he shrugs, not paying much attention to it and you decide to do the same.

Not much later, you’re finished with your food, only sipping on your coffee when you spot a group of girls near your table, their phones pointing in your direction and you have to stop yourself from growling, turning a little so you’re not facing the phones entirely. Sebastian notices your discomfort and looking around he spots the girls as well before turning back to face you. He doesn’t say a word, just gets up from his seat and strides over to the group as you watch him with wide eyes.

“Hi girls, can I ask you to delete the pictures you took, please? I’m happy to take selfies with you, just please don’t post the ones of us eating, okay?” you hear him ask them, leaving you completely speechless. Luckily, the girls are happy to obligate and he quickly poses for pictures with all of them before joining you back at the table.

“Why did you do that?” you ask him, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“You clearly didn’t like that they took pictures of us and I know you don’t like how we are being talked about recently, so I thought I would… try to help about that a little,” he shrugs, finishing the rest of his coffee.

“I just don’t like that everyone is in our business,” you sigh, folding your arms on your chest as you lean back in your seat.

“So we have business? Together?” he asks, raising his eyebrows at you over the table.

“That’s not how I… We talked about this, Seb,” you breathe out, your shoulders falling forward.

“Ages ago. Things might have changed since then,” he suggests shrugging his shoulder.

“I still work for you,” you point it out. “Things are better this way.”

“Sure, whatever you say,” he mumbles, clearly hurt by your words, but there’s not much you can do against it. “Let’s go, I don’t want Mackie to be up in my ass for being late,” he sighs, leaving the money on the table that most likely covers both your meals and a fat tip as well.

The car ride to the venue is silent, but not in the comfortable way it sometimes is. It’s awkward and you keep glancing at him, trying to find the right words but you’re not even sure what you want to tell him.

I’m sorry we work together so we can’t date? I’m sorry I keep rejecting you? I’m sorry I’m afraid if we go any further than this it will ruin our friendship?

You have absolutely no idea how to deal with it, so you just stay silent, right until you arrive to the venue. Before Seb could get out of the car you speak up.

“Are you mad at me now?” you ask, biting into your bottom lip.

“I’m not mad, Y/N. I don’t think I could ever be mad at you,” he truthfully answers, his eyes only falling on you after he has spoken.

“But there’s something, I can tell.”

“I’m just a little frustrated, is all.”

“Because of what people say about us?” you make a guess.

“Because there’s this unsaid situation between us and you just don’t let me address it. You don’t want to talk about it and whenever it’s brought up, you just shut the door right at my face,” he explains and with each spoken word, you feel worse and worse.

“It’s a complicated situation,” you breathe out.

“It’s not,” he retorts. “Do you not like me?”

“Of course I like you!”

“Okay, I like you too so why can’t we be more than just friends?”

“Because we are not just friends. I’m working for you, it’s a different situation!”

“Y/N, this is not an office job, there’s no HR, no policies, we can do whatever we want!” he chuckles bitterly as you keep your eyes down. You don’t have the heart to tell him that it’s not just because of work, but because you’re terribly afraid of being a disappointment to him if you eventually give it a try.

Your silence doesn’t amuses Sebastian and you don’t have time to rave any longer about the situation.

“Forget it, sorry I brought it up again. Let’s just… get over with this thing,” he mumbles before getting out of the car.

You move around each other like strangers, he is clearly avoiding to even look at you and you’re feeling guilty even though you don’t think you have a reason to. Still, you hate seeing him this upset, especially when it’s because of you.

The change in your act is not that evident, but Mackie immediately notices it. When you walk past him he grabs your wrist and pulls you aside.

“What the hell is going on?” he asks with wide, curious eyes.

“What are you talking about?” you retort, acting innocent, but there’s a reason why you didn’t become an actress, you suck at even lying.

“You and Seb are acting like a divorcing couple!” he whisper-yells. Pursing your lip you start chewing on the inside of your cheek as you nervously tap your foot on the ground.

“We just… had a little disagreement.”

“About what?”

“Us,” you breathe out, your head hanging low.

“Wait, so there is an ‘us’?” he asks, air-quoting the last word and you roll your eyes at him.

“No, that’s what the disagreement was about. He wants and I…”

“Don’t tell me you don’t, because I know that’s bullshit. Y/N, I see the way you look at that man, why are you making it so hard for the both of you?”

“It’s just—It might ruin everything and I can’t afford that right now.”

“Ruin everything?!” he grimaces. “What would it ruin?”

“I said fucking everything!” you snap at him, losing your patience that you’re the only one who has issues with the situation. “Our friendship, my job, everything! And I don’t want that. I can’t have that.”

“Dating someone wouldn’t ruin the friendship, Y/N. This is not middle school. Friendship is part of being with someone and you two have that. Just let it take a step further.”

“Thanks for the advice, but I’m good. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have stuff to do,” you mumble under your breath before walking away from him before he could get another word out.

It’s not that you don’t want it, because you do, you really do. You’ve been in love with the man for a long time and knowing that he has feelings for you too makes you have a heart attack every time you think about it. But you are so afraid it might go south and then you’ll end up losing your job and one of your closest friends as well. Because above everything Sebastian grew to be your biggest confidant, the person you turn to whenever you are feeling down, when you need a shoulder to cry on, you can’t imagine your life without him anymore and it’s not just about the times when you’re working. Traveling around the world with him is a blessing, you love the little moments you share, the late night movie nights in hotel rooms or when you’re exploring a new city together. You love messing around in his trailer when he is filming, making silly videos on sets or playing around with props you shouldn’t even touch. You can share anything with him and vice versa. If you lose him for whatever reason, you would be left with a hole in your life that would just simply never disappear, because no one will ever be like him and that’s a fact. You’re terribly afraid to risk everything for something that might not even work. You might be a horrible item, romance can bring out things of people that haven’t shown before.

The guys finally get on stage and you watch them from the side as always. It goes as usual, they are joking around, making a show, entertaining the audience as they go over the interview before the question round starts. You don’t realize it at first, but you’re holding your breath as one question follows the other, you’re scared someone might ask Sebastian about you and the shit show would blow up again. You can only hope his answer wouldn’t be as stupid as it was before. But luckily, the audience keeps you out of their business, only focusing on what’s important, so you start to feel relieved. Right until the whole event is nearing its end and Mackie decides to take matters into his own hands.

“I think we have time for one more question,” the interviewer announces and dozens of hands shoot up into the air, desperate to get the chance to ask the men on stage, but before anyone could get the mic, Mackie speaks up.

“Actually, can I have that last question?” he chimes in holding up a finger.

“Uh, sure, go ahead!” the interviewer responds, clearly a little puzzled about his request. Mackie then turns to face Sebastian who is sitting on his right and just by the look on his face you already know what it’s gonna be about.

“Sebastian, my question is: What do you love most about Y/N?”

He can barely finish the question, the crowd erupts in cheers and whistles that he had the guts to ask him about you, but you’re feeling different about his ballsy move.

“Mackie! No!” you shout from the side, both men looking your way. Mackie tries to look innocent while Sebastian’s face is unreadable, his piercing blue eyes are just staring right back at you and you wish you could read his mind.

“Alright, I take back the ques—“ Mackie starts in a mumble, but Sebastian is quick to cut him off.

“Nah, I’ll answer,” he simply says, another round of cheering filling the place and you accept defeat.

Squatting down you hug your knees to your chest as you listen to the inevitable answer Sebastian is about to give.

“What I love the most about Y/N is that she is genuinely the best person anyone could ever have in their life. She is so selfless and caring towards others, always got her friends’ back no matter what. I love that we aren’t just simply working together but we are friends too, really good ones and that I know nothing can change that.”

Listening to his soothing voice through the speakers, you feel your throat closing up, especially at the last part he just said. Chewing on your bottom lip you tilt your head to the side as he continues.

“Literally anything can happen, we could have the worst fight ever and I still know that we would make up no matter what. She is… just an amazing and exceptional person.”

There’s a heavy moment of silence and you’re staring at him from afar with teary eyes as his eyes are glued to his hands in his lap.

“Damn,” Mackie breathes out, making everyone laugh and Sebastian’s gaze rises to him with a small smile on his lips.

There’s no time to dwell on his answer, the event needs to end. The interviewer thanks for their time and as the crowd cheers to them they head off the stage, waving at them until they disappear.

You’ve moved to the corner of the room, not wanting to be in the way, but you’re still not over the speech Sebastian just gave about you. As he appears from the stage his eyes are clearly scanning the room, searching for someone and when he finally spots you, his face hardens as he heads in your way. You’re standing with your hand covering your lips, eyes still slightly watered and seeing you like this he knots his eyebrows together in worry.

“Hey, what’s—“

“Did you mean that?” you breathe out, your voice trembling. “Did you mean it that nothing can change that?”

“Of course,” he nods, finally seeing what this is all about. “We’ve always found our way back to each other, haven’t we?”

“But dating is so much different than what we do now!” you breathe out, still not entirely sure it’s what you should do.

“Why would it be?” he chuckles softly. “We are already spending the majority of our time together, we know each other better than some couples, it wouldn’t be that big of a change, Y/N. And just like how it could ruin things between us, not taking the step could do the same, because sooner or later it’s gonna be unbearable, one of us might end up dating someone else and that wouldn’t do good to us for sure. I would rather accept the end of it knowing that we gave us a try than not even trying.”

“What if I turn out to be a completely shitty girlfriend?” you ask in a whisper as he steps closer, his hands finding your wrists as he pulls them away from your face, holding them gently. “W-What if I—“

“Shut up,” he cuts you off chuckling. “There’s no chance you are shitty at anything,” he replies teasingly, making you smile the slightest. “But even if you do end up being one, we’ll work on it together.”

His hands guide your hands around his waist, you hold onto his shirt as he cups your face in his hands, his face inching closer until his nose is brushing against yours.

“I really hope you’re right,” you breathe out, giving up to resist it any longer. There’s no use.

“Was I ever not right?” he asks smugly.

“Oh remember when—“

You don’t get to finish, because he silences you the best way possible, his lips smashing onto yours. It’s been long due and it doesn’t disappoint, his lips feel soft and perfect against yours, you can’t help but let out a pleased hum as your hands slide up his toned chest and your arms curl around his neck while his hands find your waist strong arms circling your waist as he pulls you tight against him.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Mackie’s voice breaks the moment and as you both pull back and turn in his direction, you see him pump his fist into the air with a victorious smirk on his face.

“Mind your own business, Mackie!” Seb calls out to him as you bury your face in the crook of his neck giggling like a little school girl.

“It’s my business! I made it happen!” Mackie retorts and a laugh rumbles through Seb’s chest.

“I’ll send you a thank you gift card later!” he shouts back before turning to you again, kissing the side of your head.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[wordsfromthesol]

The Set-Up

Author: @wordsfromthesol Taglist: @zphilophobiaz @anousiemay @malfoys-demigod @pricetagofficial Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader Summary: You are Dinah's younger sister. Word Count: 2,410 A/N: I know it’s been awhile so if anyone wants on/off a taglist just let me know!

"Alright, Roy, you got me here. What's so important?" You called out as you stumbled into what the Outlaws deemed a safehouse. Their standards were pretty low.

"We needed a fourth, okay! Go get Jason and I'll brief everyone." Roy hurried you out of the room that he and Kory were already set up in. You sauntered up to the closed door and knocked.

"Jason, you decent?" You shouted as your fist rapped against the wood.

"Well I'm not morally decent, but I'm wearing pants if that's what you're asking. Though I can be without pants if that's what you prefer --" Jason's voice trailed off as he swung open the door and was met with your face. Clearly, he figured the person on the other side would be Roy or Kory. His face slightly reddened as he reached back and grabbed a shirt.

"I mean…maybe not right now. Roy needs to go over the mission with us." You winked at his obvious embarrassment before trotting off in the direction you came from. Jason quickly caught up with you.

"I…uh…I didn't know Roy asked you for help."

"Yeah he didn't really tell me much. Just that you guys needed a fourth. Not sure why he thinks I'll make that much of a difference.

"Guess we should go find out." Jason raced past you, hoping to avoid further embarrassment, but stopped dead in his tracks as he entered the living room. Roy and Kory were both staring at him, trying to hold back fits of laughter. "What is this all-important mission Y/N was recruited on?" He asked in an attempt to redirect their attention. You walked in behind Jason just in time to get the answer.

"Not really all-important…" Roy's voice reeked of mischief, "just better to have four than three. Then we can do two teams."

"You do know that I have my own agenda. I'm not just sitting around waiting for your call."

"Oh Y/N/N! Don't think of it like that, I practically begged him to ask you. I seriously need some more girl time." Kory piped in to release some of the building tension.

"Uh-huh, sure. Roy, what are we doing?"

"Right. Human trafficking, finally got a hit on this group. Think it's their main smuggling port. There are two docks to check, so two teams. See, I do have a plan. Kinda…"

"Hm mm" you mumbled, still not fully believing him, but you let him continue anyways. You didn't fly out here for nothing.

**

Hours had passed and the four of you sat near the docks, waiting for the cover of nightfall. The smugglers, however, did not. You grabbed Jason's arm and began running towards the dock as soon as you saw a boat pulling into the harbor.

"What are you doing?" Jason mumbled as he ran to keep up with you.

"Are you blind? There's a container ship pulling into the docks. The dock that Roy told us to watch."

"The sun is still setting. There's no way they'd be that stupid." He tried to reason with you, but your pace didn't slow.

"Maybe they just paid the right people. Or killed them." You retorted though the timing was eerily suspicious. Both of you came to a halt when you only saw four guys. Sure, they had guns…but it definitely wasn't enough to warrant extra help. You glanced over at Jason in utter disbelief. "You want me to sit this one out or…"

"Let's just get it over with." Jason was clearly just as agitated as you were. The "battle" lasted only a few seconds and your trip back to the rendezvous spot was completed in utter silence.

"So…Roy. Why the fuck was I needed here?" Holding nothing back, you cried out as soon as you saw his red costume appear in the distance.

"Woah, hold up there. Must've gotten some bad intel. It happens. Better safe than sorry."

"Yeah well next time be sure. I do have my own cases and crime rings to dismantle." You walked off in a huff, determined to find your own way back. You didn't know what exactly Roy was up to, but you knew you wouldn't like it.

**

Months passed since the pointless mission with the Outlaws. You had gotten back to Miami, your home for the time being as you investigated a new drug trade route coming up from South America. Finally, you had made some progress, only said progress led to you being pinned down behind some wooden barrels.

"These aren't going to last long," you mumbled as you dialed Kory on your phone. No answer. "Fuck." Roy was next.

"Y/N, can this wait --" You hear the wind get pushed out of him just as the sentence finished.

"Hm not really. Kinda been pissing off the wrong people and now I'm pinned down."

"Fuck." Roy mumbled as he threw a punch towards the jaw of the unsuspecting thug.

"I tried Kory, but -- shit…" You watched as the barrels splintered around you.

"Off-world. I'm patching in Jas --" Roy stopped a syllable short, you assumed dodging his own bullets. You didn't wait for him to finish.

"Yeah look. I'm in Miami." You heard Jason mumble your name but continued on. You didn't know how much longer you would have. "Pretty sure they'll take me alive. Heard through the grapevine the boss wants the honors himself." You sucked in a sharp breath as you felt a bullet pierce through your shoulder. You took a few steadying breaths before continuing. "I have a tracer in my mask. I'll try to keep it on as long as I can. If you can't track it for some reason, call my sister." You didn't hang up the call before slowly raising your hands above the splintered barrels. "Take me to your leader," you exclaimed in your best alien impression, all while trying not to laugh.

"Do you think this is a game?!" One of the thugs screamed at you as they inched closer. You just shrugged, waiting to either be killed or taken. "Well grab her, idiots!" Two men hesitantly walked towards you, guns still drawn.

"Should I tie myself up? Would that be easier?" At this point, your sarcasm was the only thing keeping you sane. Finally, they got within striking distance and everything went black.

"Y/N? What's happening?!" Jason frantically began calling out your name as he was met with silence. Roy eventually spoke up.

"Jason. I hope you're on your way. I'll meet up with you as soon as I can, but I need to get ahold of Dinah first." Roy had no idea what he was going to say to her.

"Even in the jet, it's going to take 2 hours to get there…" The reality of the situation set it. "But I'm taking off now." Jason tried to push the horrific thoughts from his mind.

**

You woke up tied to a wooden chair. Not surprising.

"So, where's the boss?" You forced the words out, willing yourself into consciousness.

"Don't worry girlie, he's on his way…though I suppose there's nothing wrong with having a little fun first." The goon smirked as he flipped a knife in his hands.

"Well, you wouldn't want to damage the merchandise." You could tell he wasn't sold, so you continued. "I mean I'm dead either way, right? Wouldn't want you to risk your life as well…" He just stared blankly at you while the gears turned in his mind. Finally, he let out an exasperated huff and turned his back to you. At least you were able to buy yourself a little more time. Though you had a feeling it still wouldn't be enough. As your head began spinning, you looked down at your shoulder. The blood was still pouring out of the wound. "Of course…" you mumbled as the dizziness intensified. You were going to have to think of something quickly.

"So, how'd you get stuck with this job? Or are you just some disposable errand boy who got lucky?" You began antagonizing him as you attempted to saw through the ropes with the small blade that discharged out of your gloves.  

"Lucky?" He turned towards you with a villainous look plastered across his face. He sauntered towards you and placed his hands on either side of the chair. "I've been following you. I know your patterns. When you strike. That ambush was calculated and planned. Boss sent me 'cuz he knew I'd get the job done." Before he could push himself up from the chair, you launched forward, ramming your head into his. As he crashed to the floor, another burly man rushed into the room. You managed to free one of your legs just in time. As he stumbled backward you bent down in an attempt to free your other leg. The man lunged at you again. Pulling the other leg free, you circle around and hurled the chair at him. You let out a huge sigh of relief and slid to the floor as he landed atop the first assailant.

**

Jason watched as men patrolled around the building. Just as he was about to move Roy's voice came over the comm, "Have you found her? What's the situation? I'm still an hour out."

"I found her. They have four guards patrolling. Heavily armed. I found an opening."

"Four patrolling…you can't get any intel about who's inside? I think you should wait for me to get there." Roy already knew there was no hope of that.

"We may not have a chance if I wait. I'm going in."

Jason heard his best friend sigh, before eventually relenting. "Keep me updated. I'll be there when I can." Jason saw his opening coming up again. He moved quickly and quietly, sliding into the open door. He took in his surroundings, trying to not alert anyone of his presence unless absolutely necessary. He didn't want to give any of them a reason to shoot you…that is, if you were still alive. As he rounded the corner, he came face to face with a brutish man. Jason launched himself forward, knocking them both to the ground as he muffled the goon's mouth with his hand and encapsulated his neck. It only took a few seconds before the guard was out cold and Jason continued lurching down the hallway. He stopped short of a closed door. Jason took a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever awaited him on the other side.

**

You were jolted awake a few moments later and looked around to find the two men still unconscious on the ground. Crawling over, you pulled at one of their jackets and cut off a long piece. It took the last bit of your energy to tie it around your still bleeding shoulder. As your eyes began to flutter closed once again, they shot open at the sound of the door opening. You forced your head upwards and let out a faint chuckle at the familiar Red Hood that looked down at you.

"Solis!" Jason's eyes went wide as he saw the amount of blood in the room. "Shit alright. I need you to stay awake, okay?" You nodded and forced your eyes open as Jason dove down beside you, properly retying the fabric around your shoulder. Jason stared at you for a few moments before pushing himself up and firing a single shot down the hallway. You watched intently as the goons came running in, Jason plowing through them in a matter of minutes. Jason scooped you up, not bothering to try and gather any further information from you.

**

You woke up in a bed in an unfamiliar room. Your brain began piecing together the events. Jason had come to get you, then put you in a car, brought you here, sewed up the wound…you wondered how long you'd been asleep. The door creaked open and you saw both Roy and Jason standing in its frame.

"You're awake! Thank fuck, D would've killed me!" Roy rushed over and embraced you.

"Yeah probably…" You were speaking to Roy, but you couldn't take your eyes off Jason. There was something there, unspoken, that you couldn't remember. What had happened? How long had you been asleep? As if reading your mind, Jason spoke up.

"It's only been 12 hours," he watched your eyes go wide. "Before you freak out, you lost a lot of blood and were barely hanging on to consciousness. 12 hours is not that many. You'll still be weak." Jason began to step towards you but hesitated. Roy immediately noticed the awkwardness his presence brought.

"Imma just…I'll go get us some food…or something." Roy pointed towards the door and rushed out.

"I feel like I'm missing something."

"No…I just. I was worried." You leered at him, knowing that was not what you were missing. You carefully sat up and swung your legs over the bed, determined to get to the bottom of whatever feeling this was. Once you attempted to stand, Jason was at your side in a fraction of a second. "I just said you would be weak…" he mumbled out.

"Well I have to go to the bathroom and you aren't giving me answers anyways." You tried to push him away. It unsurprisingly did not work.

"How long have I known you? For once, just stop being so damn stubborn!" He grabbed your shoulders, in an effort to steady both of you.

"I dunno like 8 years…" you grumbled out, unsure if the question was meant to be answered.

"Yeah well for 7 and a half of those I've loved you. And it just hit me that you could die…hell I could I die, and you wouldn't know." His hands traced down your arms and collapsed at his side. "I guess that just broke me, okay? Are you happy now?!" The anger in his voice rose.

"So how about those pants now?" You smirked, trailing your eyes over his body. Jason's eyes lit up as he began to laugh, recalling the situation from months prior.

"Maybe not right now…let's wait until you can stand on your own."

"JUST KISS HER ALREADY GOD DAMMIT!" Roy screamed from the doorway. Neither of you knew how long he'd been there, but that didn't deter Jason. His lips smashed into yours while his arms enveloped you.

"FUCKING FINALLY!" Roy screamed as he threw his hands up in the air.

[sadomas0chist]

perfect strangers

MINORS DNI // 18+

part one; part two; part three

genre: nsfw

pairings: jean kirschtein x female reader

word count: 2.6k

tags/warnings: penetrative sex, dom jean, fingering, praising kink, slight body worship, dirty talk, sneaky.

synopsis: your recent discovery makes you certain that you won't be able to control yourself around him and neither will he, hence you decide that it was time to make an agreement that was rather spicy.

a.n: hey babies! so i finally decided to turn this into a short series since some of you were intrigued with the idea of having a continuation for the previous part i wrote. i hope you like it, enjoy <3

“How was I supposed to know?!” I yelled as soon as Jean exited our apartment. I had put on a random t-shirt to follow Connie to his room, trying to convince him that I had no idea that I fucked his best friend.

“Y/n he literally told you his name is Jean and he was attending my party. You’re acting as you’ve never seen him before!” he scolded taking off his shirt and throwing it across his room.

“Oh for fuck’s sake Connie. The last time I saw Jean I was 16 and he didn’t look like that. He’s so fucking different now how was I supposed to know. And to be fair, he was studying abroad for I don’t know how many years, how was I supposed to know that he metamorphosed like that.” I motioned my arm out, my other hand resting on my hip.

He groaned, rubbing his temples before he looked back at me. “Look,” he spoke softly. “I don’t want to fight with you over this okay? You’re right, I should’ve told you that he was coming back. He graduated a year ago and was considering coming back to his hometown, here. Let’s just forget it all happened okay? It’s a simple misunderstanding.” I nodded, resting my head on his chest as he embraced me into a tight hug.

“Now go take a shower you reek of sex.” he snickered earning a punch on his arm. He winced rubbing his flesh, a proud smile setting on my face.

***

The week went by smoothly. I told Sasha and Hitch what happened and they both had different reactions. Hitch was gushing over the sex and Sasha on the other hand confessed that she forgot to mention that Jean was coming back to stay here. It’s okay though. We all passed it and I was working my ass off to finally graduate.

Connie was spending his days with Jean, which granted me a lot of peace and tranquility. At least, that’s what I thought.

I hadn’t spoken to Jean ever since we hooked up, figured that Connie already explained the whole situation and moved on.

Three knocks on my door broke my focus, a loud frustrated sigh leaving my lips. “What Connie!”

“Actually,” a voice on the other side of the door caught me off guard. “It’s Kirschtein. Can I come in?” A knot formed in my throat.

“Sure.” he turned the knob, slowly coming in. “Connie knows I’m here by the way.” I nodded, adjusting my seat.

“What’s up?” the tension was awkward. The tension shouldn’t even be present in the first place. But how could I not get aroused when he was wearing a black tank top showing off the tattoos on his sleeves with a pair of sweats. He looked effortlessly attractive.

“- and like I said it will never happen again. Y/n?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, yeah. Never happen again. I’m very sorry but I need to finish this assignment.” He chuckled and nodded leaving me alone with my thoughts. Did I just make him talk to himself because I was too busy checking him out?

I shook my head, assuming that whatever he said wasn’t worth my time. Time went by rather quickly and the assignment was done earlier than I expected. It was already ten pm, and I had promised the girls I was going to meet up with them for some drinks.

I picked my outfit and applied some makeup. Simple and effective. We were going to spend the night at Sasha’s so I didn’t make much effort to look hot.

The place was empty when I left and I assumed that Connie was helping Jean to rent an apartment for himself.

Sasha’s place wasn’t very far from mine. As a matter of fact, it only took me ten minutes to get there. Once I got there, the girls were already ordering pizza and picking out some movies to watch.

“Hey whores.” I greeted them, earning cheers from Hitch and Sasha. “Oh my god, Mikasa I missed you!” I rushed to the dark-haired girl who was sitting on the couch and engulfed her into a tight hug. I haven’t seen Mikasa since I moved with Connie. We used to live together, but after she and Eren got together, he wouldn’t leave her alone. So I figured it would be best if I left and lived with my brother.

“I missed you too! I looked for you everywhere at that party where were you?” she asked taking a sip of her soda. Hitch began coughing dramatically as Sasha giggled next to her. “Oh quit it.” I teased rolling my eyes.

I ended up telling her everything, her face displaying a plethora of expressions. “I mean, Jean did change I can’t argue with that. But didn’t he recognize you?”

I shrugged. “I changed too. Puberty hit me like a truck.”

“Cheers to that.” Hitch raised her cup. We laughed and talked for hours. I missed going out with them like that. Fortunately, college will be over soon and I’ll have some time for myself.

Movies were playing in the background but we paid them no mind. We ate our food and cleaned the living room, not wanting to bother Sasha with the cleaning since she was having Niccolo over tomorrow.

I glanced at the clock that was hanging above the door. I gathered my stuff and tucked them in my bag, drawing all of their eyes on me.

“Already? Come on stay longer!” Sasha whined. I smiled softly at her and shook my head.

“I can’t, I’ll see you guys soon.” I waved at them and walked out of the door.

***

“Connie! I’m ho- what are you still doing here?” I froze at the entrance, my keys still hanging from my index finger, my eyes fixated on him as he only stood in basketball shorts.

“What do you mean what am I still doing here. I moved in here remember?”

Silence. Nothing but intense and awkward silence. Moved in? Since when?

“I told you when I came into your room. Weren’t you listening to me?” I stared at him blankly, not able to explain how caught in thought I was when he came into my room. I was too busy checking him out to care about what he was trying to tell me.

“Why didn’t Connie tell me?” I closed the door and locked it slowly, my legs feeling weak, the idea of living with him and seeing him walking around like that making me weak. And extremely horny.

“He said he’d rather if I told you. You know, break the ice.” he shrugged and walked forward, his chest now a few inches apart from mine. “You changed a lot from what I remember.” he lowly said tucking my hair behind my ear.

“So did you,” I replied, staring at his lips. He licked his bottom lip and held my chin between his fingers, forcing me to maintain eye contact.

I was a sweating mess. I still couldn’t believe that this was Jean, the horse face. What kind of water did he drink, and how did he get so big? Look at those muscles-

A sudden feeling on my lips interrupted my chain of thoughts. I soon realized that he held my bottom lip between his brown ones. “Kiss me back y/n, I know you want to,” he whispered, his breath brushing up my face.

It didn’t take me long to pull him to me, crashing my lips on his. He was intoxicating in ways I couldn’t understand nor explain. I needed him close to me at the moment and I didn’t care why.

“Yo, Jean where did you my video game?!” Connie’s voice boomed from the hallway, forcing us apart. Realization slapped my face when I looked at him and saw his cocky smirk. I just kissed him, even though I promised myself I’d never do anything with him ever again.

“I’ll get it!” he yelled back, the same expression resting on his face, his back facing the hallway. “I’d apologize, but you pulled me back. Anyway, I’ll see around beautiful.” he winked and began walking towards Connie’s room, his back muscles flexing at his movements.

What am I doing with myself?

***

The atmosphere felt nice. I couldn’t sleep so instead I lied down on my bed and watched the stars from my window. I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened hours ago and how I had to sit with them and pretend as nothing happened.

Jean was certainly not the little boy he was years ago. He got more confident and a lot more handsome. He was fucking with me and I thought, why shouldn’t I fuck with him too?

After all, I know for sure he didn’t tell Connie anything. He’s too protective of me and if he knew, well let’s just say Jean would be moving out by tomorrow. He trusts him blindly and I honestly just think he doesn’t want me to hook up with him again because he’s just like him.

He likes to mess around. Not the type to stay in the morning after. But neither was I. I sighed and dragged my legs out of bed, my body following.

“Shit now I gotta pee,” I whined stomping slightly on the wooden floor. I ruffled my hair with my hand and slipped on my slippers. I was wearing Connie’s t-shirt, so it was long enough to hide my thighs.

I walked to the bathroom when suddenly a hand grabbed my arm and yanked me into the guest bedroom. My mouth was quick to be silenced by another hand as I was about to squeal.

My back collided with the wall, my hands pinned on each side of my head.

“Jean let me go.” I struggled to get out of his grasp but he kept grinning at me. “Sure.” He let go of his grasp.

I looked around to notice a towel on his bed. “I was going to take a shower but then I heard your footsteps, couldn’t let you get there before I did.” He walked away, throwing his towel over his shoulder.

“Is that all?” I cocked my eyebrow, crossing my arms. He looked me up and down before saying: “You tell me. Need anything else?”

I looked at him briefly, calculating my next move. “An agreement. Connie can’t know.”

“Fuck yeah.” he dropped his towel and stepped closer to me, holding my face with his hands as he crashed his lips on mine. I kissed him back instantly, my fingers finding their way through his hair.

His tongue slipped in, caressing mine. His hands went down my body to squeeze my ass, pulling me even closer to him. My hands traveled across his bare chest, going over his pecs and then gliding one hand down his abs, while the other sat on his shoulder.

We pulled apart, his arms going under my thighs to pull me up and sit me onto the mattress. He walked to the door, locking it before he looked back at me.

Jean crawled over my body, caging me between his arms. “Divine.” he smiled and sat up, his hands tugging at my top. I helped him take it off and threw it on his chair. I was nude underneath him. It wasn’t the first time, yet he still looked mesmerized.

He licked his lips, his fingers tracing my cunt before dipping into my entrance. I arched my back at the sudden intrusion, trying my best to remain quiet.

“I missed your little cunt.” he chuckled massaging my insides slowly. I gasped, my hand immediately covering my mouth.

He rubbed my bud with his thumb, his pace never changing. It was torturing and slow, but I knew we couldn’t make a lot of noise nor make lots of movements that could awake Connie. We had to go nice and easy.

My legs squirmed, the combination of playing my nipples and watching him touch like he does driving me to the edge. My eyes rolled to the back as he added a third finger, my walls clenching tightly around them as I felt myself orgasm around them. “Good girl.” he praised with a chuckle, removing his fingers from my opening.

“Suck your juices off come on.” he tapped my hand, motioning me to remove it and take his fingers in. I stuck my tongue out, his ling digits finding their way down my throat making me slightly gag. “I didn’t know you were such an obedient girl.” he cooed, as I sucked off my arousal.

Jean sat back up, removing his shorts along with his briefs, his erection slapping on my lower stomach. “As much as I’d love you to suck me,” he paused pumping his cock. “I have to say that I miss being inside you.” And with that, he slid all the way in, his mouth silencing my moans.

He stayed still for a while, his eyes staring into mine intensely, almost as if he was trying to tell me something. I nodded my head, his hips moving at my signal. His thrusts were slow and deep, going over every spot. I wrapped my arms around him, my forehead resting against his, as he breathed heavily.

“I want to fuck you dumb, but he’ll hear your moans.” he taunted rolling his hips, his tip almost hitting my cervix. “So good.” I whimpered, wrapping my legs around him, my heels digging into his lower back.

“Jean…” I was close and my legs were a shaking mess. “That’s right baby, say my name.” he breathed in my ear, slightly speeding up his thrusts. I bit onto his shoulder, my orgasm ripping through my body.

I tightened around him, his strokes getting sloppier. It came to my attention that he wasn’t wearing protection, and I wasn’t about to get adventurous like last time. “Jean… pull out…”

“Beg.” was his only reply to which I complied. “Please, anywhere, just not-“ He harshly pulled out, and instead of jerking himself on my stomach, he reached up to straddle my chest and stroked himself. “Open.”

I stuck my tongue out, his hand now replaced with mine as I jerked him off, ropes of cum shooting down my throat. “Such a good girl.” he chuckled, rubbing his hand over his face.

He got off me and pulled his hair back using both hands, his naked body walking around the bed to grab some tissues. He cleaned off my arousal and handed me some to clean the corners of my lips.

“If only you could see how messed up you look,” he smirked and threw me my t-shirt before grabbing his towel and sliding on his shorts.

I put on my top and got off his bed. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and internally yelled at myself. I looked like a mess. My hair was tangled and my skin was all sweaty. Guess I have to take a shower too.

I looked over at Jean to see him staring at me with an amused look on his face. “What?” I cocked my eyebrow. He shrugged and smiled at me. “Connie and I are going out to get some lunch tomorrow. What’d you say?” he requested.

“I mean yeah sure. But Jean he can-“

“Can’t know alright.” he rolled his eyes. We stared at each other for a minute before I decided to leave his room.

As I made my way past him, his hand flew to cup my swollen cunt. “This belongs to me.”