#this got me so fuckin stressed how could anyone pick 10

[occasionally-romealone]

CHAPTER ONE

📺 WARNINGS 📺

FLUFF, FXM FXGN

📺📺📺📺📺📺📺📺📺📺📺📺📺📺📺📺📺📺

"Ashton, you're in your head! Why wouldn't she? You are a delight!" FCG said as he gestured to the taller green punk who was stressed and pacing around the small bedroom they shared. "FCG, have you fuckin' seen her?! She's chaotic but hot" Ashton said while waving his arms in emphasis as continues "I break shit and drink! I don't know how to do this kind of shit!" His voice slightly strained as the small Aeromaton shook his head in disbelief at his best friend's words.

Ashton was a delight and any lady or heck anyone would be lucky to date him!

"Whoa there friend! You are a delight and you look you two already got drinking in common! Not to mention you’re both pretty good at fighting, bam two things!" FCG said to try and support his friend, because gosh darnit he deserved love and happiness and he will be darned if he doesn't help that come into fruition. "I mean I guess, but like I'm a mess--" "I don’t think she thinks that about. You should see how she looks at you! She looks at you the same way she looks at something she wants to steal!" FCG tried to reason as he wheeled towards his best friend to try and offer some comfort to the Genasi who was slowly spiraling into self doubt. "That’s because she probably wants to steal something off me!" Ashton said trying to reason with his self doubt, because really why him.

"Ashton, you’re a charming person and you deserve love! The worst that can happen is that she says no and the best is that you guys get married and live happily ever aft--" "but what if she says no?! What if I make it weird and ruin our friendship and she hates me and thinks I’m a creep and doesn’t want to be in the same room as me?! Then the others will have to pick sides and they will obviously pick her because look at her! She's hot as hell and I'm literally something they scraped from the gutter!" He was panting by the end of is speil as he rested his hands on his knees. "What if I'm not good enough for her?" His voice quieted as he let himself show to the one person he could trust.

"Ashton, you are wonderful and amazing and super cool! You guys already have a reputation of shenanigans and heck, Mister doesn't actively attack you when in your presence and besides...you're already friends and you may not be able to see how much of a cool and awesome guy you are but I know she will" FCG's voice became soft as he placed his small metal hand on the others hand. "Now, you go show her and yourself how cool you are!" If FCG could show literally any other emotion than 'smiley day' he would offer him a reassuring smile.

"You know what? Yeah! I am fucking awesome and I fucking got this in the bag!" Ashton began hyping himself up, smacking his cheeks a bit and walking towards the door with confidence but the moment his hand touched the doorknob it was like the confidence was drained from him "NOPE! I lied! I can't fucking do this!" Ashton turned around to go plop on his bed only to be stopped by FCG who despite only being able to smile seemed to have a look of determination on him. "Well sometimes we gotta fake it till we make it! Now to win her heart!" With that FCG turned Ashton around and pushed him out by his knees and closed the door behind him. "Oh come on letters!”

And that's how Ashton found himself outside the trio's room, hand ready to knock and tried to push down the nerves and self doubt coiling in his throat as he knocked on the older wooden door.

The door opens to reveal Orym shirtless, not unusual this late in the evening so Ashton didn't think too much about it, "Fearne you promised us 10 more minutes!" Dorian yelled from deeper within the room, causing Orym to blush slightly. "WELL HELLO ASHTON WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Orym yelled out loud enough for Dorian to hear, sputtering could be heard from the Air Genasi. "So anyways what's up?" Orym asked casually as if he wasn't just interrupted from doing gods knows what.

he wasn't just interrupted from doing gods knows what.

"Fearne, you seen her?" Ashton asked, trying to be as casual as possible.

"Why, what's up?" Oryms voice laced with worry because it is Fearne "did something happen?" As the possibilities flooded into the halfling's brain.

"Nothing's wrong! I just--uhh-um, I just need to ask her something is all." Smooth Ashton thought sarcastically as Orym raised an eyebrow at him, choosing to ignore whatever mess was going on with the taller man who was failing to not look like a train wreck in front of the shorter.

"Uh huh, well she's out for a walk with Mister right now" Orym said in almost a confused tone as he eyed the other, barely hearing the "Kay, thanks bye!" As Ashton ran out the inn to look for Fearne.

"What was that about?" Orym asked himself before returning to gods knows what.

Ashton made his way outside into the evening air. 'If I was Fearne, where would I go…” He thought for a moment. "A park! She likes plants and shit!" He ran towards the park that was a few blocks away from the Krook house, basically ready to pass out from running two blocks, nonstop. Glancing at the distance as he watched Mister fight and eat a flower as Fearne watched with eyes filled with love for the small elemental.

"Fuck it nope cant do this" Ashton said about to turn around before Fearne's voice stopped him "Ashton?" He froze before turning and his mind filled with panic as he spoke awkwardly to the fawn who began walking towards him "oh hey uhhhh shit, I was just wondering if uh, if you were doing anything tomorrow evening?" His words rushed and panicked as he felt dread fill in the pit of his stomach as he waited for What felt like forever but was honestly a few seconds. "Well why wouldn't I? I really don't know anyone else here nor do I know anywhere to where to go" her voice slightly confused and innocent as she pulled mister away before he tried to eat a squirrel.

"So do you wanna hang out tomorrow?" A bit of hope clung to his words as he stared at her "Oh yeah sure." Her voice was casual as if it were just another day and completely unaware of the mess that was Ashton currently. "Where would you like t--" she could barely finish her sentence as Ashton cut her off "Awesome! Cool, see you tomorrow" Ashton nearly sprinted the whole way back to the tavern with a mix of nerves and excitement balling up in his stomach. As he reached the steps of the tavern a realization came to him.

"Oh for fucks sake! I forgot to tell her where we're going!"

[finnickodaair]

music game

tagged by @fionagallaqher !! thanks for tagging me, love ❤ rules: List ten of your favourite songs and then tag ten mutuals.

Awake My Soul by Mumford & Sons

Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac

Delilah by Florence + The Machine

No Light, No Light by Florence + The Machine

In Cold Blood by alt-J

Sit Next To Me by Foster the People

Golden by KINGSWOOD

LA Devotee by Panic! At The Disco

Agnes by Glass Animals

Walk The Wire by Boy & Bear

tagging (you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to!): @clhampir, @laheymccall, @urbansmilkyass, @paarisgeller, @argentsxarrow, @layllahassan, @daganasky, @friendlyhoodspiderman, @proinslascassidy .

[dolphin-enthusiast]

Hiya Morgy! Hope you doing well! If Head cannons are still open, could I request the jojos with a s/o who has been having sensory overload a lot lately? (if you want me to clarify on what that is, let me know!)

This is v v late but I’m gonna try my best to portray this as well as I can!

Jonathan:

- At first is quite overwhelmed by YOUR own overwhelmed nature because he just??? doesn’t know what to do since it happened all of a sudden and he was never faced with something of that nature before??? Fret not though because as soon as your sensory overload happens, Jonathan being the wholesome gentleman that he is, will quickly pull you to the side and away from any other people as he’d gently whisper words of comfort and love whilst tightly holding you into his big, welcoming arms.

- Whether a crowd or other certain triggers made it happen, Jonathan will be sure to remove the source of your sensory overload as often as possible. After you calmed down and he lead you to a quiet place, the man would keep his tight yet comfortable grip around you as he’d ever so gently ask you questions about your triggers and such, afraid of coming off as forceful and uneducated which would be lowkey cute, especially because of the small blush adorning his cheeks the entirety of time.

- He’d keenly educate himself on the subject in order to be able to protect and care for you properly which would be pretty fuckin wholesome tbh. Soon enough Jonathan is going to not only remove you from a stressful situation when the need arises, but also quickly identify the symptoms of your overload, taking action immediately then proceeding to calm you down as he’d make you focus on other distractions all the while slowly stroking your hair and slowly speaking to you in a soft tone as to not alarm you further. Overall, one of your best picks because he’s invested, attentive and wholesome as f u c c.

Joseph:

- Fucking disaster who freaks the fuck out the first time it happens because he’s never had anyone around him go through sensory overload right before his very own eyes and so he assumes you’re under the attack of an enemy or something. But his dumbass immediately realizes that he’s done a g r a v e mistake once he sees you trying to get away from people and so he’s dashing towards you and helping you out in less than a second whilst erratically apologizing and cursing himself for being so unaware.

- That evening Joseph will be feeling highkey guilty, the man doing his best to calm you down and soothe your nerves by holding you into his arms, talking quietly and even massaging you since he’s heard that it does, in fact, help you out in cases like these. The entirety of time Joseph will be constantly apologizing and would STILL feel just a tiny bit of guilt even after you’d keep reassuring him that it’s ok. From that day on you’ll have his word that he’s going to properly educate himself on the matter.

- After that certain incident, you bet your ass that Joseph will be significantly more aware of you and your symptoms/triggers. As much of an airhead as he is, Joseph will quickly be able to identify said triggers and will constantly be on watch, pulling you close to him and covering your ears whenever you’d pass by certain loud noises or particularly noisy crowds. He’ll do his best to remove any stressful/triggering situation and if the sensory overload DOES happen again, your ever so caring boyfriend will quickly remove you from the situation then drop everything just to comfort and calm you down. 11/10 doesn’t move an inch unless he’s ABSOLUTELY sure you’re fine.

Jotaro:

- I believe he may or may not had gone through something like this at certain points in his life. Maybe not as severe as your case, though, but still. If anything I’d say he’s got high levels of anxiety going on so even the smallest of things can be a trigger. Now even if these 2 obviously aren’t the same, Jotaro will be able to tell that something was wrong the second you’d start trembling then covering your ears. Besides the fact that he’s h e l l a attentive and knows your tics and reactions to things in general.

- He’ll wordlessly pull you away whilst shielding you from anything that was bothering you then lead you to a quiet place as he’d proceed to comfort you to the best of his abilities. We all know he’s not the best with words, but Jotaro will make sure that you know he’s there for you and that he’ll help and protect you no matter what. The man will slowly but surely run his hands all over your back and hair in a comforting manner whilst slowly telling you to calm down and that he’s got your back at all times.

- And be 100% sure that he’ll instantly learn each and every single thing that triggered your sensory overload as well. His actions always speak louder than a thousands unsaid words and doing things such as looking out for you and learning your triggers is Jotaro’s own way of showing you that he loves and cares about you. You don’t like crowds and loud noises? Good, neither does he. Spending the day in as you enjoy eachother’s company is ideal in his opinion anyway. Bright lights bug you? Jotaro will replace them with weaker ones. Literally a n y t h i n g that helped you be safe and sound he’ll do it in a heartbeat.

Josuke:

- Definitely heard of sensory overload before but hasn’t experienced it or had anyone around him experience it before, so he WILL panic but quickly pull himself together the next second and quite literally drag you by the hand away from whatever was bothering you. He’s definitely the fussy type when it comes to his close ones so you better expect him to entirely refuse to let you go from his arms no matter how many times you protest that you’ve fully calmed down,

- Educates himself on the matter further so he can meticulously prevent any other incidents in the future. Ngl Josuke will be lowkey sad to hear that you’ve been going through such tough times recently, which is why he’d quickly offer to give you lots of distractions and fun things to do if that meant you’d have lesser chances of going into sensory overload. And let me tell you, even if he’s the extroverted kind, Josuke will even go out significantly less if you were to be triggered by crowds/loud noises.

- He’ll do his best to distract you by putting on your favorite shows, bringing you plenty of snacks, dimming the lights and even speaking in a softer tone. His voice is usually booming and loud so he’d hate to cause you any further distress, like don’t even get me s t a r t e d on just how fuckin awful he’d feel if he were to accidentally trigger you by mistake. Hence why he’d try being as supportive and careful as possible, quickly removing you from stressful situations and providing you with care and comfort at all times. And god forbid if anyone ever purposefully triggers you, Josuke will literally obliterate them and send them flying into the damn sun.

Giorno:

- Your second best pick after Jonathan because this man is literally z e n. He tries eliminating each and every source of stress and anxiety from his life (which is funny considering what he does and in which environments he spends his time usualy) and you bet your ass that he’ll do the same for you. The first time he sees you covering your ears and wincing he instantly knows what’s wrong, the man ever so gently pulling you to the side whilst reassuring you that everything will be fine and that he’s there for you.

- Even if it wasn’t his fault for not knowing at first, Giorno will still feel a little guilty for not being careful enough as to prevent your sensory overload and will work his ass off in order to do so in the future. My mans literally brings out the meditation, massage and calming music. Hell, he’ll even sing/hum something in order to calm you down because let me tell you, he’s got an a n g e l i c voice but he’s just too shy to show it off in the beginning. But the second you tell him that his singing calms you down Giorno will literally do it whenever he can in order to get you to calm down.

- You can count on him 25/8 because not only is he gonna punch any asshole that tries triggering you on purpose, but he’ll educate everyone around him as to not stress you further by mistake and is actually pretty fuckin amazing at getting you to calm down after another episode. Giorno will be quick to make you some calming tea as he’d dim all the lights and speak quietly, holding and cuddling you for literal hours if that meant you’d be feeling better. May or may not go to Bruno for further advice and other methods to calm you down because that man is zen 2.0

[nicole-lynne]

Cold Houses Cause Confessions

Description: Lip’s defensive about reader wanting to put in money for the gas bill. Confessions and feelings are spilled. (Set in Season 1).

Warnings: Swearing

Pairing: Lip Gallagher x Reader

“Jesus, why is it so fuckin’ cold in here?” You exclaimed as you strolled into the Gallagher kitchen, wrapping your sweater around you tighter. 

Fiona looked up at you and opened her mouth to answer when Carl leapt down the stairs. 

“Turned it down so I could see your nipples, sweetcheeks.” He said as he blew you a kiss and a cheeky wink. 

You wrinkled your nose at him. “Piss off, Carl. Fi?” 

“Gas bill was late, ew Carl, don’t put that up your nose, anyways so now they won’t turn it back on unless we pay the whole thing.” Fiona said as she frantically cleaned up the kitchen table. She wiped some grime off her face and glanced over her shoulder with a ‘same fuckin’ shit’ look. 

“Oh damn, that sucks.” You turned to dig through the laundry on the top of the washer. A small smile slipped as you found one of Lip’s hoodies and tugged it on. “How much is the bill?” 

“Like 530 bucks. Debbie, go check the cushions. That should be good for at least 5 or 10 bucks. Has anyone seen Ian or Lip? Carl, please stop melting things in the microwave. ” 

You watched the girl who was practically your sister as she ran around the kitchen, picking things up and setting them back down as she got distracted. She looked stressed to the max and you knew that this gas bill was just another card on a trembling tower. 

“I’ve got $120 from winning a couple games of pool from some losers at the Alibi, let me put that in.” 

Lip stomped down the stairs, his boots hitting the floor loudly, “no, keep it. We’ve got it covered.” He barely glanced in your direction as he crossed to the fridge and buried his head in it. 

You scowled at his back and crossed your arms angrily, “You can’t tell me what to do, Lip. I may be your best friend but you’re not the boss of me. I’m here all the time so it’s only fair for me to pull my own weight.” 

“I said, you’re not giving us any fuckin’ money.” 

Lip slammed the fridge, he brow scrunched together with frustration. Automatically, you glanced down to watch his hands flex and curl together. He had a cigarette dangling between his lips and your heart sped up with desire. Finally, you cleared your throat and forced yourself to focus back on the current conversation. 

“Are you even listening to me right now, Y/N?” He spat out.

“Lip, can you please stop? She’s the nicest girl that’s ever stepped foot in this house and she’s never gonna come back if you keep being mean.” Debbie whined from the living room. 

You rolled your eyes with exasperation. “Debbie, I’m not gonna stop coming around just because Lip is an asshole.” Lip gave you a deep frown. “Besides, I like you and Fiona so much better than him.” Fiona flashed a grin at you from across the kitchen. 

Lip opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by Steve slamming open the door. He waltzed in with a big goofy smile on his face and his eyes brightened as they landed on Fiona. You waved lightly at him before looking back at Lip. He was leaned against the counter, glaring out the window. 

“Hey guys, we’re going out with V and Kev tonight. Think you can handle watching the kiddos?” Fiona asked, a begging smile sent in your direction. 

Lip sighed loudly and crossed his arms tightly over his chest but you jumped up to block him. “Yeah of course, Fi, I’ll watch em. No promises that Carl won’t blow a hole in the wall, but he’ll have all his limbs at the end of the night.” 

Steve grimaced, “god, please don’t give him any ideas.” 

You laughed at the look on his face as he imagined Carl laughing maniacally in the middle of a giant hole in the side of the house. Fiona yanked a tank top off the washer and threw it over her head, shaking out her wild hair. She giggled as she stumbled to put her heels on before grabbing Steve’s hand. 

“Fucking hell...” Lip muttered under his breath.

“Y/N, are you sure you guys will be good? Liam should be out already and Debbie just needs to-” 

“Fi,” you wrapped your arms around Debbie as the little girl padded into the room and placed your chin on her head, “can you just go have fun, please? I’ve handled these heathens before and I will handle them again.” 

Fiona gave you a look of relief and Steve mouthed a ‘thank you’ from the door behind her. You shoo-ed them both out the door. Fiona hollered out goodnights to Debbie and the door slammed shut. 

“Okay, kiddo, why don’t you go grab a few comforters and bundle up on the couch. I brought us some microwave popcorn and feature flick.” You winked at her and she squealed excitedly. You chuckled as she dashed into the living room. “Oh, and put on another sweatshirt!”

You whirled around to smile at Lip but immediately frowned when you found the kitchen empty. Your heart sank into your stomach. The sleeves on Lip’s hoodie dropped over your fingers and you rubbed the worn edge nervously. 

Debbie yelled from living room that she was ready, so with a turn on your heel, you headed into the living room to snuggle with her. 

“Carl! Get your ass down here, we’re watching The Hangover! And put on a couple pairs of socks, we can’t afford you losing a toe from frostbite.” 

Carl thudded down the stairs and jumped over the back of the couch. You tucked the blankets around the three of you tightly, in a slight attempt to keep the chilly air out.  You pecked a kiss on Debbie’s cheek, rolling your eyes when Carl puckered up for you, instead you leaned forward and clicked on the movie. 

~~~

The credits started rolling and you shifted slightly just in time to catch the clock flipping to 12:30am. Softly, you tugged your arm out from under Carl to rub your tired eyes. You twisted and turned and slipped up from under the two little bodies, shifting them onto the couch better. 

You kissed both the kids heads and whispered, “Goodnight kiddos, I’ll be right upstairs.” 

Straightening up, you stared up the stairs and gulped. You hadn’t seen a glimpse of Lip for the whole night and your anxiety was growing more and more by the second. You pulled the hoodie over your nose and took a deep breath in. 

There was a flutter in your heart at the smell of Lip and there was a tug at your being to be with him. The corners of your mouth fell again thinking of how angry he looked earlier tonight. You couldn’t figure out what you’d done or said to piss him off so much when you were just trying to help the people you considered family. 

You released another large sigh and drug your feet up the stairs. It was as quiet as it could be in the Gallagher household but you always felt comfortable surrounded by these walls. You shimmied in between the crack of Lip’s door, glancing at Ian’s sleeping body. 

For a moment, you considered passing out in Carl’s empty bed but the draw to Lip was overwhelming. Silently, you slipped your pants off, dug through Lip’s drawers to find a pair of sweats, and tugged them up. 

Hestitanting for just a moment longer before the cold settled on your skin and you heaved yourself up the bunk bed. Lip was facing the wall but you watched him shift to give you room to crawl under the covers. 

Quickly, you cuddled against his back trying to soak up any bit of warmth, noting how tense he was. You traced shapes on his shoulder blade with your fingers for a few minutes, trying to decide how long you should wait before you passed out. 

“L? You still awake?” 

He was quiet and you were positive that he truly was asleep. Just as you closed your eyes, he rolled onto his back. His eyes were wide open and he was staring at the ceiling. 

You peaked your eye open to look at him and then closed it again, promptly deciding to ignore him. He rolled again and suddenly his arm was flung over your waist and his legs tangled with yours. 

It was dead quiet between the two of you. 

“I’m sorry I yelled at you tonight.” 

You looked over at him. His icy blue eyes were filled with regret and you felt your heart soften just a little. 

“I didn’t deserve that, Lip. And I’m not quite sure why you were so mad at me for wanting to help out.” 

Lip lifted his hand and stroked his thumb against your soft cheek. “I know. I know that, Y/N.” 

“Then why’d you do it, L?” 

“Because you shouldn’t have to waste your money on us. You shouldn’t have to be to be brought down by the Gallaghers.” 

Your mouth gaped open in shock. That hadn’t been what you were expecting. You had thought maybe he’d gotten screwed out of some money or Karen had been a bitch that day, but not some ridiculous thought like the family being a bother to you. 

“Are you an idiot, Phillip Ronan Gallagher? This is my family and you are not some deadweight that’s bringing me down. Where would you even get such a shit idea?” 

Lip’s eyes fell, “I’ve seen first hand the destruction that we can cause. I just don’t want to see you caught up in it all. You should be saving your money instead of spending it on our gas bill. That money could pay for your college.” 

You twisted your hands into Lip’s shirt tightly. “Lip, I love yo-all you guys. I don’t give a shit what happens, I’m with you through it all. Even if that means having to beat a few more dickbeaters at pool to throw in some cash.” 

“But what about-”

“No, L, not even then. Not after anything.” Lip started to relent and gave you a small smile. “Besides, I think I might have a future with Carl.” 

Lip growled and smacked you in the face with a pillow. You erupted in a fit of giggles as you tried to escape his grip. Lip was laughing with you, tickling your sides, enjoying the sight of your smiling face. 

“Can you two lovebirds shut the hell up, I’m tryin’ to sleep over here.” Ian’s voice rang out in the room. 

You and Lip froze, wide eyes looking at each other before bursting out in laughter. Lip pulled you in a little closer and slipped his hands under your shirt. You squealed loudly as his ice cold fingers ghosted over your stomach. 

“Fuckin’ christ, it’s colder than a witches tit in a brass bra.” 

“God, you’re such a fuckin’ weirdo, L.” You giggled.

Lip pinched you lightly, “you’re the weirdo who stole my sweatshirt, babe.” 

You stopped squirming and looked up at him, your cheeks red with embarrassment or cold, you couldn’t tell. “Um, I’m sorry. I was just freezing and it was the first thing I saw. I’ll give it back-”

“Y/N, stop, I don’t want you to give it back. It looks way better on you, you should keep it.” He paused, sitting up and resting on his elbow. You rested your head against his pillow and watched the curve of his neck, his bicep tightened, and the rise and fall of his chest. 

“I really appreciate how much you do for us, Y/N. You...you help keep the house together when Fiona’s stressed, Debbie loves having another girl to hang out with, Ian thinks you’re the only funny one, and hell, you’re the only one that Carl doesn’t try to explode.” He paused. “I just want to protect you from bad things, and I know how bad the Gallaghers can be.” 

Your set a hand over his forearm, “newsflash, L, you’re a Gallagher too. And you’re the best guy I’ve ever known. I love that you want to protect me, but you can’t protect me from your family because they’re my family too.” 

Lip’s eyes were shining brightly, taking in everything about this moment. 

“I love you, Y/N. Like I’m in love with you.” 

You pinched your brows together and the breath was caught in your throat. You must be dreaming, this cannot be real life. The person you’d loved for years was saying the words you’d longed to hear for so long. 

“Wh-what about Karen?” You stammered. 

“Fuck Karen. She’s nothing to me, she hasn’t been for a long time. I’ve just been ignoring what was right in front of me for so long.” 

You were hypersensitive to the feeling of Lip’s fingers on your skin, rubbing back and forth. It was hard to think of anything else then his body against yours. The sound of your heartbeat was pounding in your ear. You were positive that Lip could hear it too, maybe even Ian across the room. 

“I-I don’t know what to say...” 

“Tell me that you love me too. I know you do, Y/N, I can see it in your eyes. Every day, you look at me with your big beautiful eyes and I can feel how much you care about me.” Lip inched a little closer. “At first, it scared me. It really did. The thought of having someone, my best friend, who loved me after all this fucked up shit, that I could fuck up and lose the one person I relied on...” 

“Lip-”

“No, let me finish.” He rested his forehead against yours. 

You placed your hand on his cheek, encouraging him to continue. 

“Y/N, you’re the person that I know I can count on every day. I wake up in the morning and my day, my life is chaos, but you always know exactly what to do to make things calm. I’m tired of pushing away my feelings. I’m tired of you not being mine...” He trailed off. 

You paused to see if he was finished before taking the leap and smashing your lips against his. Your heart was singing at the feeling of Lip tightened his arms around your body and kissed you back hard. His tongue traced along your bottom lip, asking for permission. You opened your mouth and his tongue swept in against yours. 

Lip rolled on top of you and slipped his leg in between yours, swallowing a moan that came from you. You ran your hands through his hair and pulled slightly, your legs wound around his waist. Your lungs were burning for air and you finally separated, both of you panting heavy. 

“God, I’ve been wanting to do that for so long.” Lip mumbled. 

You smiled at him lovingly. You could feel his heart beating against your chest and you had this urge to be even closer to him. 

“I love you too, Lip. I’ve always loved you. I-I just never thought you could love me back, so I’ve never said anything. Every girl you’ve been with... None of them have ever deserved you.” 

Lip pecked a big kiss on your lip. “Now I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you.” 

“Stop saying that, L. You are amazing and I’m extremely lucky to be here with you.” You nuzzled against his chest. 

Lip bent his head down and pressed his lips to yours again. This was a more gentle kiss than the first one. This was the one that felt more real, something that wasn’t only fueled by lust and passion. This kiss felt like it would be the beginning of a happy story for you two. 

“I swear to god, you two better not fuck while I’m here. I’ll smother you both in your sleep.” Ian groaned loudly before shoving his pillow over his head. 

You and Lip broke your kiss in shock before starting to laugh again. Lip tipped over to your side and tugged you in tight against him, smoothing your wild hair down.

“Get the hell over here and warm me up, babe.” 

You grinned to yourself before shoving your face into the crook of his neck. “We are so paying that gas bill tomorrow, I can’t have you losing any important parts.”

[strawnarrries]

Lover - part 3

You and Niall finally plan your first official date, but what happens when someone t-bones you all on the way to the restaurant? 

Trigger warning: car crash! 

hello everyone! here is the part 3 you’ve all been waiting for! i kinda gave away the ending just now but car crashes are very serious and i would never want to trigger or offend anyone so i figured it was best to have the warning just in case! its definitely not graphic at all, just a short description of what happened, but it still deserves the warning because the topic can be sensitive to some. but thank you for reading and lmk what you think! enjoy! //

The second you heard your phone ding, you immediately jumped up from the couch and grabbed your phone from the coffee table. Taking a look at the screen, you saw that Niall had finally texted you. A huge grin spread across your lips and you began to feel giddy with excitement. 

After the incident, you didn’t want to text him first. You decided to wait until he texted you. After all, you were the first one to confess your feelings and you didn’t want to seem clingy. Even though he was your best friend and had known you for years, the circumstances were different now. It was a little past noon when you got the text and you would be lying if you said you weren’t waiting all morning for his name to pop up on your screen.

The text read, Hey what are ya doing ? 

You replied with, Nothing, just watching netflix 

Can we facetime? 

Sure!

Not long after, his name popped up at the top of your screen, the silly profile picture you chose for his contact filling the rest of your screen. You clicked the accept button right away, impatiently waiting for it to load. His beautiful face soon appeared on the screen and you smiled, "Hey."

"Hey, how are ya?" he asked sweetly, showing you his pearly whites.

You could tell by the background that he had sat his phone against something on his coffee table in the living room. He was sitting on his big, creme colored couch, his black, 8-chaired dining table sitting behind him. The big windows showed off beautiful view of his backyard. The light from them making it hard to see him clearly. The small droplets of sprinkled rain that fell from the light grey clouds in the blue sky painted the glass. You smiled, “Good, thank you, how are you?”

"'m good." he smiled. 

You guys talked for a little bit, laughing at stupid things each other said, the usual things you all would talk about. But once the conversation started to die down, he brought up the big question, "So, are we goin' out sometime or ya change yer mind?"

You giggled, "No, I'm up for it as long as you still wanna try it out." 

"Alrighty, well where do ya wanna go?" he asked. 

"I'm good with anything honestly, we could go get food, or we could go do something fun like bowling, or go t' like a drive-in movie," you hummed, throwing out a bunch of ideas.

"I'll do whatever. Yer da woman, you decide." 

You rolled your eyes at him playfully because you know he knows how much you hate making group decisions like this, but you kept throwing out ideas, hoping that one would catch his attention and he'd choose.

"We could go putt-putting," you suggested.

"Y/N, ya know I suck at that," he replied, “I hate the clubs they give ya.”

"Yeah, that's why I wanna go, so I can beat you." 

"I can't fuckin' stand ya," he giggled at you, shaking his head disapprovingly. 

You chuckled back and there was a couple of minutes of silence before he spoke up again, "Ooh, how 'bout we go t' dat new brunch place in da city, know ya mentioned wantin' t' try dat."

"Oh, that's right! I forgot that had finally opened. Yeah, let's do that!" 

"Okay, I've got a bunch of promo t' do fer me new single dis week, but 'm good dis weekend," he told you and you felt your heart beating out of your chest because you couldn't believe this was actually happening, but you were so happy that it was.

"I can do this weekend," you nodded.

"Okay, Saturday?" 

"Perfect. What time?" 

“Mmm, I dunno yet. Can we figure that out later in the week?” he asked. 

“Yeah, of course!” 

“Kay, good.” 

“I’m excited.” you smiled, feeling all giddy and tingly inside. 

“Me too.” 

The call ended soon after that and the moment your home screen popped up again and he was off the call, you squealed happily, butterflies flying around in your tummy. You couldn't wait. You had dreamed off this day ever since you and Niall had started becoming friends. You never really thought it would actually happen, but now that it was, you couldn't be more happy.

***

Beep, beep, beep. You woke up to the blaring sound of your alarm, internally groaning. You had set it for early that morning to give yourself plenty of time to get ready for your date. You were tired from a long, stressful week at work and really just wanted to sleep in, but you were still super excited for your hot date. The other day, you all made reservations at the cute brunch place for 11:30, so he was going to pick you up at 11:15, giving you plenty of travel time. So after clicking snooze a couple of times, you eventually decided it was time to wake up. After scrolling through your phone and catching up on your social media, it was about 9:15 when you got up out of bed to start making yourself look pretty for Niall. You definitely didn’t need 2 hours to get ready for a little brunch date with Niall, but you were excited and wanted to make sure you had plenty of time to do everything you wanted to do.

You walked into your bathroom, turning on the shower and your current favorite playlist. You began to get undressed before hopping in the shower and beginning to clean yourself up. You were never one to shower in the mornings, you always preferred to shower at night, but today was special to you and you wanted to smell super fresh for Niall. Even though he was your best friend and had seen you at some of your worsts, you still wanted to impress him. After washing up, you quickly shaved your everything before turning the water off and wrapping yourself in a big, fluffy towel. After drying off your body, you wrapped your hair up with the towel. You slipped on your bathrobe and laid down in bed again, letting the towel soak up the dripping strands of your hair as you turned on the TV and scrolled through your phone again.

After about 10 minutes, you got up and hung the wet towel out to dry. You turned your playlist back on and began to get ready, brushing and blow-drying your hair before putting on light makeup. You quickly brushed your teeth and swished some mouthwash before you heard your doorbell ring. You ran to the door and unlocked it, opening it to reveal Niall, looking as handsome as ever. 

He wasn’t dressed too fancy since we were only going to a brunch restaurant in the city, but he also didn’t look like he just rolled out of bed. He dressed causal, wearing a plain white tshirt with the sleeves rolled up a couple a times. He paired it with light, navy blue khaki shorts and slipped on some white Reebok sneakers. His white apple watch adorned his wrist and he had his gold earring in, complimenting his face perfectly. His black Ray-Bans covered his eyes and his hair was styled slightly messy, but so sexy. 

"Hey, imma little early," he smiled and you allowed him to walk in while he slipped his sunglasses off his face and slipped one of the arms of the glasses past the collar of his shirt to hang so he didn’t have to hold them. 

"That's okay," you giggled, "Why didn't ya just walk in?"

Since you both are super close, you have a key to each other's houses and whenever you plan to go over, you both can easily just walk in without a care. 

"I mean, I dunno, 's a date, right?" he chuckled softly, a light shade of pink arising on the apples of his cheeks.

"We're still best friends, this doesn't havta be awkward," you giggled. 

"Yeah, I know, still wanna make it proper though, I mean if we're actually tryin' dis out I wanna like treat it like it's da beginnin'."

"Okay?" you narrowed your eyes at him, "well, hi, I'm (Y/N)."

Rolling his eyes playing, he grinned at you, "Yer so annoyin'." 

You giggled back before humming, "I just need t' get dressed, then we can leave." 

"Sounds good," he replied. 

You went back to your room and went into your closet, picking out a cute, pink shirt and pairing it with a cute pair of ripped, jean shorts. You quickly put on some deodorant and sprayed on your favorite perfume. You put in some fake diamond earrings and ruffled with your hair real quick before calling it a day, happy with your appearance. You slipped on some cute, matching sandals before heading back to where he sat in your living room. 

"Okay, ready?" you grinned, walking towards the couch he was sitting on, scrolling through his phone. 

He looked up at you through his lashes, slipping his phone in his pocket and standing up, "Yeah." 

He began walking towards the front door while you grabbed your purse and slipped your phone into it. You followed him outside on the doorstep of your flat. You locked the door behind you and you both made your way down the flight of stairs to the parking lot. He lead the way towards his black Range Rover that sat in front of your building complex. He took out his keys and he got into the driver's seat while you hopped into the passenger side. He pulled out of the parking spot and began the journey to the fancy brunch place downtown. The radio was on low as you both spoke, talking about anything and everything. 

You were mid-conversation when it happened.

"Didn't she have a s - oh my god," you gasped deeply. 

You felt your heart drop to your stomach, mentally preparing to come face to face with Jesus Himself as Niall slams on the breaks, a string of profanities leaving his lips. The tires screeched and you felt the car lunge forward as it slammed into the side of the other car. Your bodies were thrown forward into the airbags and you were in complete shock. A sharp pain struck in both your knees when they slammed against the dashboard in front of you. It all happened so fast, you hadn't even processed what happened yet until you heard Niall yell in pain...

"Fuckin' hell!! Me ankle!"

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #308

“you don’t need treats, and you don’t need tricks, and you don’t need me.”

Middle name? Marie. Or Marie Catherine, if we're technical, but as someone who loooong left Catholicism and never even agreed with many aspects of it in the first place, I don't like to include it. If you're confused, there's a ceremony called Confirmation, and while I honestly don't even remember the details of it, you adopt the name of a saint you want to stand for, kinda. I chose Catherine just because I liked the name outta my other options. Democrat/republican/other? I classify myself as Independent because I really don't relate well enough to either, but I do know I'm becoming more and more liberal with time. Do you dress according to your mood? My mood? No. I dress with what I feel like wearing at that time, but my actual mood has nothing to do with it. Are you good at doing hair/make up? No. Are you always worried or stressed about something? 24/7, my friend. Can you swim? Yeah. Are you afraid of needles? I don't like them, but I'm not afraid of them. How many kids do you want? Zero. Long/short nails? I keep mine short. Do you like wearing hats? No. Does mall Santa Clauses or Easter bunnies freak you out? Nah, I loved seeing Santa as a kid. :') Would you consider yourself clumsy? I am RIDICULOUSLY clumsy. Do you like when a guy picks you up in his arms? In concept, but I ain't easy to pick up anymore lmao. Do you like hairless cats? I do!! Females, anyway, for... obvious reasons lol. Not having fur makes some things waaay too ~obvious~ otherwise. I would love a sphynx. Do you like the color yellow? No; it's actually one of my most disliked colors. Have you ever seen a cat have a hairball? Yeah. Have you ever had a tooth pulled? Not by a dentist, no, just by myself as a kid when I was losing my baby teeth. When someone says don’t look do you look? It depends on why they're telling me to not look. Have you ever played spin the bottle? No. If you had to name three important details about you, what would you say? I'm a very emotional person, I need a lot of "me" time, and to be aware of my social anxiety so not every interaction I have is perceived as just a dumpster fire. What are your three biggest insecurities? My creativity, my goddamn body, and my lack of social skills. If you could write anonymous letters to three people, who would you send it to and what would you say? Ummm. I can only think of people I miss and don't WANT to be anonymous... Favorite photo of yourself? A senior prom picture I don't have anymore. I looked so, so happy and fuck my low self-esteem, gorgeous. Who are you disappointed with right now? I'm like, permanently disappointed in myself lol. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? No. My minimum is 21. What question do you hate to answer? "Are you a virgin?" because it's just a confusing answer. It doesn't sound like one at all, but trust me on this. The subject of sex just makes me uncomfortable anyway, so even if I was confident in the answer, I wouldn't want to talk about it. What’s your most listened to song? I don't have a way of actually finding that out, but I'd say I've been listening to "ULTRAnumb" by Blue Stahli quite a lot lately. If you were a performing artist, what would you title your first album? I mean, I don't know. It would depend on what was going on in my life and head at the time. If someone told you you could give one person a present and your budget was unlimited–what present would you get and for whom? A nice car for Mom. She's had the same shitty car for yeeeeeaaaaarrrrrssssss now because she just can't afford a new one; hell, this one was free. A dance friend hit a deer, so the front of the car is messed up, and she bought a new one, but because the car itself was still functional, she gave it to my mom. Mom is so loved at the studio. The car just has various issues by this point, like trouble starting, accelerating, it's bumpy, etc., so it's way past time for a new one. Do you like licorice? NOOOOOOOOOO that's a big 'ole "ew." Have you ever visited your country’s capital city? No, but I've seen it from a distance when riding up to NY. When was the last time you were outdoors for over an hour? WOW. I couldn't even try to guess. What is the shortest amount of time you’ve lived somewhere? The house I was born into. I actually don't know how long Mom and Dad lived there, but I was only in that house as a very little baby. I have zero memories of it. What’s your favorite kind of mint? (Peppermint/wintergreen/spearmint/etc.) ... There's a difference? lol I guess peppermint? What was the last thing to frustrate you? I wanted to draw yesterday, but I didn't know what to draw to even get started. Have you ever been to a bachelor or bachelorette party? No. Did any of your family members serve in WWII? I don't believe so? Well... maybe my grampa did? I don't remember. What’s your favorite kind of salad? Gimme an Olive Garden salad and I will deadass eat the whole bowl. Are you more realistic or idealistic? I'd say I'm more realistic with most things. Are you currently borrowing something from someone? No. Is anyone currently borrowing anything from you? No. What is your last name’s heritage/country of origin? Ireland. When did you last buy a new pair of shoes? What kind? I got new flipflops a year or so back because my old Rainbows were so worn out and blackened my feet. Have you ever experienced culture shock while traveling? If so, where? No. Are you able to see the stars at night where you live? I actually haven't checked since moving here. We're in the suburbs though, so it's questionable. Do you include your middle initial in your signature? Not unless it's required, usually. I think. When's the last time I physically signed anything, anyway? What brand of computer do you have? It's an Acer Nitro. What operating system does that computer run? Windows 10. What’s the oldest piece of clothing that you still own and wear? I don't really know, given how much my weight has fluctuated. Went drastically up, went down, now it's back up. .-. I still own a handful of shirts I want to "shrink back into" from late HS and early college times, but yeah, I don't know if I'll actually achieve that. Is the area in which you live flat, hilly, or mountainous? Flat as my ass. What is your significant other or best friend’s ring tone? No one on my phone has a "special" ringtone. Where do you keep your hair brush? There's a comb I use in a drawer in the bathroom. Which pair of shoes have you owned the longest? Multiple pairs of Converse, also from high school. When’s the last time you were sick at the same time as someone else? I'm very happy to say I don't even recall the last time I was sick. My immune system is the fuckin GOAT. What did you have for breakfast this morning? A pb&j. We've got very little rn, but thankfully Mom's picking up our Wal-Mart order today. Last time you were in pain? If I'm standing, you can bet my legs hurt, so. What color is your mom’s hair? It's growing back totally gray now. Is that also your hair color? Well, no, I'm only 25. Do you watch any daily vloggers on YouTube? Who? No. I watch people who vlog occasionally, but not regularly. It's gotta be people I'm very into to really be interested in vlogs. What room of your house do you usually do your surveys in? Sigh, I'm always in my bedroom. Really hoping Mom and I muster up the motivation to clean up the extra room soon to turn it into my "dayroom" or "office," if you will. What do you put on your tacos? I hate tacos. What is your favorite stuffed animal and where did you get it? I have a bittersweet connection to the adorable plush meerkat Jason gave me for Valentine's our first year together; I always slept with it when we were together by apart, and for a year or so after the breakup. It was a source of comfort for me, so I'm really fond of it. Fella's fur is so worn out and matted down with age and lots of love. He's on my dresser now, towards the front of all my plushies. Last thing you hung up on your wall? My Illidan poster, I believe. Do you have a full length mirror? Yeah, on the back of my door. Is it currently raining? No, finally. It's been raining for like a fuckin week, it seems like. It's finally a clear day. It's nice to hear birds outside. Does anyone you live with talk in their sleep? Does this happen often? I'M the one doing the talking/screaming in my sleep. Thanks, nightmares. When was the last time you cried, or felt tearful? I'm not positive, but I know I had a pretty rough PTSD night not too long ago where I teared up. Did you wake up with a song stuck in your head today? What was it? Ohhh yes; I've been listening to Mother Mother's "Ghosting" on repeat because it's jammed up there. When was the last time you used moisturiser or lotion of some kind? Not too long ago on my hands. They get dry this time of year, and besides, I wash my hands a lot nowadays especially. What was the last thing you owned, that was accidentally broken or damaged? Were you able to get it fixed? My laptop, and yes. Tell me about the last dream you recall having. Was it weird, amusing, etc. So this is pretty wild. I know I had a nightmare last night, but I don't remember it; the night before, however, I had a nightmare about a possibly rabid and ginormous rat (I mean like, smaller dog sized) in the house and trying to bite me. It was SUPER weird, because I was actually afraid of it, yet I absolutely adore rats in real life. What was the last video you watched on YouTube? I've really gotten into John Wolfe (a let's player) lately, and I'm going through his The Evil Within playthrough. Do your parents use any social media at all? My mom has a Facebook, and hilariously, Dad has a Snapchat to talk with my sister Nicole. He has no clue what he's doing with it and it's adorable, haha. Mom also has a Twitter, but she doesn't use it. Is there anyone in your life who regularly asks how your day has been? Regularly, no. I've always been that person, especially in the WoW guild I'm in. I'm very close and comfortable with them and ask how everyone's doing any time I log on. Lovely people who give me some social interaction every day. Tell me something positive about the day you've had. It's still early, but once again, it's pretty and bright outside. Why do you prefer Facebook over MySpace, because I know you do? Ha, you'd be incorrect. MySpace was more personal, so I actually preferred it. But it's obviously long-dead, so I just settle with Facebook. Have you read the Pretty Little Liars series? No. My sister looooves it, though. What product do you use to moisturize your lips? I don't remember, actually... It's in my purse somewhere. When did you start using Xanga? I never have. Be honest, do you judge people on their appearance? Judge, I don't think so. I can make assumptions like everyone else, but I'm not gonna think someone is beneath me just by their attire. Do you know anyone who does not like The Beatles? Me. At least, most songs. "Hey Jude" is good, but everyone agrees with that, haha. Did you have a friend in middle school that you’re now enemies with in high school? I'm long since out of HS. I had a middle school friend who I disconnected with following a fight in high school, but we weren't "enemies," and we reunited our senior year anyway. Aaaaand we're not friends anymore once again lmao. What is one thing you hope your children don’t inherit from you? If I hypothetically wanted kids, God knows I'd hope they wouldn't have my psychological issues. Do you think you’ll be married in 10 years? It'd be nice, anyway. What type of foundation do you wear? None. Who’s the most controlling person you know? Someone I'm no longer friends with, partially because of this. Do males look good in skinny jeans? Yep. Are you for or against guyliner? Ugggghhhhh guyliner makes me weak in the knees. How many jobs have you had? Where do you currently work? Three; nowhere. Who did you last hit? Um, nobody??? What way of self-care do you enjoy the most and what feels more like an obligation? I enjoy my alone time on the computer as the best self-care, especially after being social all day; I don't, however, enjoy the act of performing hygiene care. I still do it, it's just not fun. The feeling afterwards is great, though. Have you ever tried specific diet plans or fads? What made you do it and how did it turn out for you? I was briefly using NutriSystem, which didn't work for me. I hated too much of the food. More recently I stuck with flexible dieting and calorie counting for a while, but I drifted from it when I still lost no fucking weight in like a month. I want to get back to it, though... oh, and intermittent fasting. I don't think it really worked for me yet again, even though I did it correctly, but that and the aforementioned flexible dieting is all I feel like I can handle. I guess I just have to give it longer. Do you know anyone who has been directly affected by COVID-19 e.g. testing positive, losing a loved one, or their job due to the pandemic? Too many people I know have had it or had someone they loved die because of it. Take this shit seriously. Is there a kind of music you only prefer listening to during specific type of activities that you otherwise wouldn’t enjoy under normal circumstances (e.g. EDM while doing sports or instrumental music while studying, etc.)? No; I have to actually enjoy the music. If you had to start a YouTube channel and motivations/skills/resources/any other inhibiting factors weren’t an issue, what would it be about? Either animal (preferrably reptiles) education or let's plays, ig. Has anything ever happened to you that if you told someone about, they would think you’re making it up? I don't believe so. What travel destination or popular spot have you been to that you found overrated? What about a lesser known place that you thought was a hidden gem? I really don't know; I haven't traveled nearly enough for this.

[jocelyn-wellson]

10 YEARS AGO, NOVEMBER 

‘Last Match of Jo Knuckles.’ 

That was how Jocelyn’s departure from the ring was being advertised. It was supposed to be a battle royale, where all five fighters were to take on each other, but she knew better. It would be 1 versus 4; her versus the world. The ring was outdoors, more of a mud pit really. There was no referee, and everyone — spectators to bookies to the fighters and their trainers — everyone knew that someone was going to die. The advertising certainly alluded to it. Jocelyn had been so successful as a brawler that she had a price on her head. Thankfully, so many people were betting on her death that it drove the odds into the ground: bookies were banking on a 3/2 chance of her defeat.   

Conversely, there was a 1/50 chance she would win the match, walk out under her own power, and at least one of the other brawlers would have died. The mythic trifecta. 

“You come to see Dmitri,” said the exiled Alterac crimelord. “You are in this match, Joey. End of story.” He pulled a bowl of hot borscht toward him and shoveled it into his mouth. 

“I donnae wan’ ou’ o’ th’ fight. I wanna work fer meself.” 

Dmitri wiped his chin with a heavy linen napkin. “You say you win, walk away ... kill a man, you work for self? Is this what Dmitri is hearing?” 

“Stake me,” she said. “Stake me wha’evah amoun’ ya think ya can fin’. I’ll make sure ya come ou’ a richer man.” 

The crimelord crossed his arms. “What if Joey Knuckles loses?” 

Jocelyn stared him down. “Ya kin feed me to yer dogs, fer all I care. I jus’ wanna be alone, no’ workin’ fer anyone bu’ me.”

“1 in 50 for trifecta, only,” he said between bites, “You win, you get freedom, we split purse say 75/25. You lose, Dmitri will make sure you see dogs eating you parts.” He took another massive bite. 

“Deal,” she said, eyes unwavering. “Stake me a’ 1,000 gold.” 

The large man set his spoon aside. He watched her face. “You will win, Joey,” he said. “Dmitri knows.” 

“So do I,” said Jocelyn. 

Five Hours Later 

The mood at the mud pit was tense. One of Jocelyn’s long-time rivals, a Kul’Tiran known only as The Bear, was a late entrance. True to his namesake, he stalked around the ring, beating his chest every few seconds, bellowing. There were three other entrants, though none seemed notable, well, save the pale young guy. He was shirtless, thin, and covered in bruises and cuts of different ages. She watched all of her opponents carefully, looking for any sign of physical weakness or mental distress. She kept coming back to the skinny man; something just felt off about him. 

The announcer welcomed the spectators and introduced the brawlers. The spectators cheered for their favourites; only Jocelyn received both cheers and boos. With a record of 17-1-2, she was feared amongst the brawling community. 

“Fighters!” the announcer shouted. They turned to see him, calling the match from the gallows. “No shoes, socks, gloves, hats, belts, or anything of the sort. Each participant is allowed to bring one small blunt object into the ring. Blades are forbidden. Guns are forbidden. And,” he stressed, “no magic bullshit!” 

The spectators roared. 

Jocelyn stripped down to a pair of black tactical shorts and sports bra. The Bear went shirtless, as usual, thick hair covering his body. The skinny guy, he was clad in decaying canvas pants, while the other two wore their Admiralty uniforms. 

“Lasses and lads, gentlemen and gentlewoman, children of all ages,” shouted the announcer, “before you are five of Boralus’s best. You see their condition. Finalize your bets. You have one minute.” 

This was the part Jocelyn hated most, the minute leading up to the match. She hated being looked at, judged, catcalled. She hated when people would yell that she should just die. She rummaged around through her pile of clothing she had set outside the ring. She found them — her signature brass knuckles. 

“Don’t look like yer a threat today,” snarled The Bear. He picked up a rock and formed his fist around it. “Yeah, it’s yer last match, lady.” 

“Eat me,” she clapped back. It started to sprinkle. “One of ya ain’ goin’ ‘ome tonigh’.” 

She watched as the men laughed. The Bear, in particular, had a hearty one at her expense. One of the two Admiralty servicemen started coughing; he sounded like he smoked a 12 cigarillos a day for at least a couple years. She watched her opponents as their various bludgeons were raised above their heads: a truncheon, a blackjack, a metal ingot, a rock. She shuddered internally, just as always. Her face betrayed nothing. 

“The time for betting has passed!” shouted the announcer. He picked up a tiny brass hammer and walked toward a ship’s bell. “Brawlers ... in five, four, three, two ...” 

Brass met iron. 

The match began. 

The four men rushed toward the center of the pit. Jocelyn stayed behind two seconds. She needed to ambush one of them. Wheezy, as she thought of him, started coughing almost immediately. Not yet, she thought, looking at the man’s physique — he looked quite strong. Meanwhile, The Bear attacked the other Admiralty member. He was of average build, wielding a blackjack. She thought him attractive until The Bear’s rock-solid fist met his face. The man crumpled to the ground. The crowd roared. 

Wheezy tried to help his friend off the ground, only to be sapped from behind by the skinny man. The heavy ingot's inertia pulled the skinny man aside. Wheezy forgot about his comrade and dropped him in the mud. He turned his attention to the skinny man, who had hunched over. 

“Big weapon fer a wee man,” he taunted. He swung at the skinny man with his truncheon; the skinny man turned quickly, leaving the ingot, throwing a fistful of mud into his attacker’s eyes. Wheezy shouted. The Bear and Jocelyn, who had been circling each other with the other combatants between them, both made the same pained expression. 

“No mud!” she shouted at him.

“No mud!” The Bear agreed. 

The three men fighting in the middle had all fallen into the dirt at this point, slopping about as so many hogs. The skinny man used his gambit to rip the truncheon from Wheezy’s hand. He brought it down hard on the back of the first-to-fall’s head; he was out cold. Wheezy threw a blind haymaker that threw the skinny man back into the mud. He picked up the ingot, straddling the skinny man. The crowd gasped and roared as he raised it above his head. 

Jocelyn made her move. She ambushed him from behind, punching Wheezy at the base of his skull. A sharp crack resounded through the arena. The ingot fell to earth, narrowly missing the skinny man’s head. The skinny man pushed himself away on his back, rolling to his side, springing up when he got his footing. The Bear laughed. Thunder crackled. The skies opened. 

Jocelyn said nothing. She wrapped her arms around Wheezy’s head. The man squirmed, but was too winded to do much of anything. She twisted, hard. Wheezy dropped to the ground, dead. A murmur spread through the crowd. She might actually have a shot at the trifecta, some of them must have thought. Jocelyn stepped back from the corpse. She adjusted her brass knuckles, pointing at the skinny man. Her shoulders were loose and she looked like she wanted to kill him. 

The skinny man tried to flee the arena. The Bear clotheslined him.

“Fight or die, little man,” he growled. 

“You’re all fuckin’ crazy!” he yelled. 

“Deal with it,” said The Bear, piledriving the coward into the mud. The skinny man twitched and gasped. Jocelyn pointed at The Bear. Her knuckles, red from punching Wheezy, began to glint as his blood washed off. She taunted him.

“Yes, yes,” shouted The Bear. “Come!” 

Jocelyn ran toward him at full speed. The Bear swung with his rock-fist. She ducked, sliding along the ground. Her knuckles made contact with something. The truncheon. She stood, facing The Bear straight on. Giving up or bluffing? he wondered. “Fuck you, lady.” He shoved her into the mud and raised his fist high. The crowd screamed for blood. He pulled her off the ground by her sports bra. This was the death stroke. 

Now! she thought. She ripped the truncheon from the mud and smacked The Bear’s forearm as it came hurtling down. He was thrown off balance. His fist, augmented with the granite rock in its clutches, connected with her rib cage. Her left ribs broke. It was suddenly hard to breathe. She started panting. She dropped the truncheon. 

“Doin' it right this time,” said The Bear. He kicked her in the side. She screamed. Silence blanketed the crowd. Nothing but the sound of labored breathing and rain splattering into the mud. He kicked her again. “Give up,” he said. 

Jocelyn did not say a word. 

The Bear raised the granite high above his head with both hands. “Last chance.” 

Jocelyn knew she was most likely going to die. She let all the pain and rage of years flow through her. She kneed The Bear in the crotch. Hard. The mountain of a man yelped and fell to the side, granite rock landing some meters beyond his reach. Jocelyn rolled onto her right side. That’s when The Bear saw the flash. He had been so preoccupied with the truncheon that had forgotten about the knuckles. Jocelyn punched his injured forearm with as much force as she could muster. The Bear’s arm broke, a compound fracture jutting out of his thick, hairy skin. She grabbed him by the same arm, rolled him into his belly, and pushed her knee into his back while pulling on his broken arm. 

“Fuckin’...” he screamed. She pushed her knee into his back and pulled on his broken arm even harder. He vomited. Thunder crashed. The crowd, still silent, watched intently. 

“Ya can en’ et or I can,” she whispered in his ear. 

“Bitch!” he yelled, thrashing.

“‘ave et yer way,” she said, bringing the brass knuckles to bear on the back of his head. The Bear stopped moving, though his breathing was steadier than hers. She coughed, spitting off to the side. Bright red blood splashed across the Admiralty's linens. 

“Winner, Jo Knuckles,” shouted the announcer. He dinged the bell, ending the match. The crowd had no idea how to react. They started fighting amongst themselves. Jocelyn ignored them. She dragged herself across the arena to gather her belongings. Her breath was still rapid and uneven. She needed a doctor. She slid her feet into her boots, centered herself, and staggered out of the arena — on her own — before collapsing in front of an apothecary several blocks away. 

Trifecta, she thought before blacking out. 

[artificialqueens]

wild flower, chapter one (shalaska) 1/10 - freyja

A/N: Hi! This is my first time posting here, so please be gentle! All I know is that no one was going to write my shalaska cowboy AU for me. Also if anyone is interested in betaing… please. Let me know.

🌼

“Wild women are an unexplainable spark of life. They ooze freedom and seek awareness, they belong to nobody but themselves, yet give a piece of who they are to everyone they meet. If you have met one, hold on to her, she’ll allow you into her chaos, but she’ll also show you her magic.”

🌼

Alaska has always been fascinated with bandits.

Bandits, criminals, gangs - anyone with a bounty on their head. Not that the bounty or even the criminality of it all attracted her - no, it was the freedom.

Alaska has also always been wealthy.

These two constants do not go well together.

As a child, the contrast was easier to navigate, as her only duties were her lessons, and the rest of her time was spent however she wanted to spend it. Her wildness was enacted through imaginary horses and people to shoot, drawing from the tales of her father’s friends from the West. She had grass stains on her skirts constantly, and although her mother berated her for her unladylike play, it could be chalked up to just that: play.

As she got older, the contrast was too much. She was in polite society, she needed to find a husband, and she was the lady of the household. She had to give up one, wealth or freedom, and only one made sense to let go of. It wasn’t a hard choice, anyway - she’d stopped believing in running wild on the frontier somewhere around her mother’s death.

Which is why, when her father tells her she’ll be visiting her uncle in Colorado for the summer, the thrill she might have gotten as a child is absent in the place of a sickening dread that sits in her stomach like a dead weight.

“He’s invited you,” he’d said to a stunned Alaska over breakfast one morning. “And I thought you could use the fresh air - God knows this city is starting to smell now that it’s thawing.”

Alaska had pressed her lips together, frowning at him. “I don’t–”

“I told him you would love to go,” her father had interrupted, raising an eyebrow. “This is a great way to find someone wealthy to marry, since the options here clearly aren’t up to your standards.”

The snide comment hadn’t gone past her, and she’d lapsed back into silence, unable to argue and tell him that her ‘standards’ won’t ever be met, so tough luck. That wasn’t an option, especially considering her father’s newspaper wasn’t selling as much now that the war was over.

This visit is her last chance to find a husband wealthy enough to make it worth it, and she knows that she needs to return to her father with a ring on her finger.

Now, she sits on the train to Coady, heart heavy with her resolution. She looks out the window to take her mind off of the sick feeling in her stomach, clenching her fist in the folds of her skirt. It’s easy to get lost in the pale browns and greens of the plains, easy to feel comfort in the mountains that look blue in the distance. It’s easier to think that maybe she’ll find a man she really loves if he comes from a place that looks like this.

She nearly laughs at herself. Unlikely.

🌸

Alaska has been in Colorado a week, and there has been no mention of a ball, or even of a dinner. She hasn’t seen another person besides her uncle and his servants - and even then, it’s mostly been his servants. If it isn’t mealtime, her uncle is locked in his office, going over papers and sending out letters at least twice a day.

Alaska has picked up enough of the servants’ whispered gossip to understand that his plantation has been slowly going under in the eight years it’s been since the war, and her uncle has now been reduced to scraping the bottom of the barrel for his income. She isn’t sympathetic - it’s deserved.

Things, however, are getting a little boring.

She sighs, turning over in bed and staring at the stars through the large window in her room, the wind blowing the linen curtains in a hypnotizing manner. Three months of nothing, and she won’t even get a husband out of it.

No husband. She allows herself a moment to pretend like it was a possibility, something like longing trapping itself in her throat.

She’s just closing her eyes to sleep when the sound of a horse galloping towards the house makes them shoot open, a man shouting her uncle’s name as the horse’s hoofbeats slow to a stop.

“Thunder!” the man bellows. He begins pounding on the door, each knock seemingly louder than the last. “Philip Thunder, get your ass out here!”

Alaska slips out of bed, heart pounding, and kneels beside the window. She’s at a decent enough angle that she can see the man clearly, his horse standing a few feet behind him. It’s hard to see in the darkness, but it’s clear he isn’t a gentleman, with a dusty gallon hat on his head that shields his face and a dirty jacket to match. There’s a long rifle hooked onto his horse, and her eyes widen at the sight.

The door swings open, and her uncle emerges with a lantern, looking hunted. “Be quiet!” he snaps in a hushed whisper, and Alaska has to strain to hear him. “You’re going to wake the whole household.”

“They know,” the man says simply, ignoring her uncle. He has a thick accent, and it’s jarring next to her uncle’s harsh New York vowels. Her uncle’s arm sags at the news, lowering the lantern so that their faces are barely lit. Alaska hisses in frustration, narrowing her eyes to try and read their expressions.

“Needles?” her uncle says, voice even quieter. Alaska risks poking her head out the window a little bit in order to hear better, holding her breath in fear of being caught.

“No, the fuckin’ Pope,” the man sneers. “Who the fuck else?”

Her uncle’s response is drowned out by the locusts buzzing in the trees. There’s a long period of silence, and Alaska can hear her heart beating in her ears, adrenaline running through her veins in response to listening to a conversation she shouldn’t. What the hell was going on?

“So?” the man prompts, stepping closer to her uncle. “What do you suggest we do?”

There’s a pause as her uncle visibly takes a breath. “Come here tomorrow at supper,” he says, voice a little stronger now. “Bring Solomon. We can make a plan then.”

“Didn’t you hear me? Needles is onto us, which means–”

“I know!” Her uncle snaps, posture stiffening. “Trust me, I’m well aware. I can’t make a plan right now. Give me a day, and we’ll discuss the rest tomorrow. I promise we’ll get out of this.”

“If we don’t,” the man says, voice low, “Needles isn’t the one you need to watch out for.” And with that, he steps back, walking back to his horse. “Expect us at six,” he says as he swings up on his horse, and with that, he gallops away, leaving a trail of dust in his wake. Her uncle stands there for a long time, staring in the direction he went even after he’s no longer visible. All Alaska can hear is the locusts’ chirping.

Her uncle, finally, turns to go inside, and she ducks under the window sill as the lantern light swings over the side of the house. She listens as he opens the door, muttering something incomprehensible, and shuts it behind him. The stairs creak as he returns to his room, and she doesn’t let herself relax until she hears his door close quietly.

She sags against the wall, brushing the hair sticking to her face away and plucking at her nightgown, battling the humidity and her own sweat. She looks at the bed, but she doesn’t think she’s going to be able to sleep, not with the heat and certainly not after what just happened.

It was a gang. It couldn’t be anything else - it wasn’t any sort of legal business, judging by the other man’s appearance. Her uncle was dealing with bandits and criminals, probably to help him out of whatever debt he’s put himself into in order to keep this place afloat.

A fission of excitement runs through her even through the fear and apprehension, and she can’t help but think that at least something is happening. Even if it’s putting everyone in the house’s lives at risk.

You can’t trust a bandit. They’re lawless, and the law exists for a reason: to keep people sane. Who knows what these men will do to her uncle if this Needles ends up finding them?

Who knows what Needles is going to do to them if he ends up finding them?

The thrill is fading away now, giving way to real fear. This is real. Bandits are real, but they’re not like what Alaska dreamed them up to be as a child. They kill people, innocent or not, and they steal whatever they want. They live like animals and call it freedom.

They’re all these things, and they’re coming to dine with them at her uncle’s like they’re family friends.

Alaska is definitely not getting any sleep tonight.

🌼

Dinner is awkward.

It’s spent in silence, the dirty, roughed up men clearly unsure of how to behave at a proper dining table and her uncle silent with embarrassment over it. There are four of them, all with scruffy beards and pistols on their belts, with the clear leader sitting to her uncle’s right.

One of the men coughs, and Alaska jumps at the sudden noise.

“Jesus,” she mutters to herself, ignoring her uncle’s sharp look and instead setting down her fork. She looks at Philip, plastering as pleasant and unassuming a smile she can muster over her face. “May I be excused?”

The leader of the group, Cassidy, slumps in relief. “Thank God,” he says loudly, and she recognizes his voice as the man her uncle had spoken to last night. “We can get some business done.”

Her uncle gives him a disbelieving look, and Alaska tries to look like she doesn’t have a clue as to what he’s talking about. Cassidy raises his hands in silent apology, and her uncle sighs, rubbing his eyes. He looks stressed out of his mind.

“You can go, Alaska,” he says, having lost any sense of decorum with Cassidy’s language.

Alaska nods at him, and then she’s out of the dining room in a second.

She slips out the door with a quiet notice to one of the servants, intent on walking her anxieties out around the grounds and hoping that she’ll tire herself out to the point of becoming calm. With half a mind to ride a little before the sun sets, she decides to head towards the stables, well away from anything happening inside the house.

Expecting to be alone once she reaches the stables, Alaska nearly screams as she runs into a woman leaning against one of the stalls, petting Poundcake’s nose.

“Jesus!” Alaska yelps, and the woman snaps to attention, hand at her hip in the blink of an eye. She lets her hand hover there, eyes wary as she stares at Alaska.

“I’m so sorry,” Alaska says, raising her hands up in apology. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

The woman frowns at her, seemingly confused. Her hand drifts away from her hip, and Alaska’s eyes follow it, briefly distracted by the tight pants she’s wearing. It’s scandalous, and Alaska is beginning to understand why.

“I really didn’t mean to interrupt,” Alaska says into the tense silence, forcing herself to tear her eyes away from the woman’s hips and to her face.

“Interrupt?” The woman asks, still frowning. She’s relaxing, however, and Alaska feels strangely gratified by it.

“Your stable work,” Alaska says. “You’re the stablehand, right?”

The woman’s eyebrows twitch up before her lips twist up into a smirk. The expression suits her. “Right. Well, I’m not bothered.” She gives Alaska a clear once over, her smirk only growing. “Not at all.”

Alaska feels a flush crawl up her neck, her dress suddenly feeling a little warm. “Great,” she says, awkward. “I came - I just needed to get out of the house.”

“Let me guess: a man?”

Alaska snorts, even as the reminder makes something unpleasant churn in her stomach. “More like several.” The woman just smiles, revealing a small gap between her teeth. It’s strangely endearing. Alaska quickly shoves the thought away, afraid of it leading to more dangerous ones, and instead takes the opportunity to examine the woman’s strange outfit.

She looks more like a cattle rustler than a stablehand, with her wide brimmed hat and dark overcoat, but Alaska supposes things are different out west. Her hair is down, reaching the middle of her shoulder blades and blowing attractively in the wind. It’s so dark that, when paired with her dark hat, her face appears almost ghostly.

She’s beautiful, with her high cheekbones and plump lips, but there’s something about her that puts Alaska on edge.

“What?” the woman says, tilting her head. “Is there something on my face?”

“You’re beautiful,” Alaska blurts out, and then her heart stops. “I mean no, wait, no, I mean–”

“What’s your name?” the woman cuts in, and Alaska grabs onto the question like a lifeline.

“Alaska,” she says in relief.

“Pleasure,” the woman says, smirking again. There’s a brief pause before she lets out a huff of laughter. “You really don’t know who I am, do you?”

Alaska laughs. “Knowing the stablehands isn’t exactly my priority,” she says, allowing her own smirk to come through. “But now it seems like it should have been.”

The woman smiles slowly, her expression softening. Alaska feels something flutter in her stomach at the thought that she may have caused the shift. “You sure know how to flatter a girl,” the woman says. There’s a moment in which she just looks at Alaska, eyes darting across her face. “Sharon Needles.”

Alaska’s heart stops, smirk falling off of her face in an instant. “Needles?” she repeats faintly, even though Sharon had been perfectly clear. “You’re Needles? I thought–”

“I was a man?” Sharon says archly, annoyance flickering across her face. “You’re not the first.”

“Your poster,” Alaska says slowly, feeling incredibly stupid. The stablehand? Really? “It was hanging at the train station.”

Sharon sighs, eyes rolling up to the sky. “Stupid,” she mutters, seemingly to herself, and then, louder: “I’ll never rob an artist again. Those bastards have no fucking money and an eye for detail.”

“I don’t know, that chin is pretty memorable,” Alaska says before she can think about it, and there’s a second of frozen shock before Sharon starts to laugh.

“I like you,” Sharon says approvingly. “You’ve got balls.”

Alaska really, really shouldn’t be flattered. “Thanks,” she drawls, and she takes a step back. Her sense of danger is heightening, despite Sharon’s calm and her surprising humor. With the stories Alaska had heard, she had pictured bandits to be no-nonsense men with hearts of steel, cold blooded killers and thieves that were too good to be caught. Sharon doesn’t seem to be fitting any of those descriptors.

She should really run, warn her uncle while she still has some time. But some sick part of her is intrigued, attracted to this woman, and she can’t bring herself to shout like she should.

“Why are you here?” she asks again, even though she already knows the answer.

“We have some business with Mr. Solomon ____” Sharon says, and it’s like a curtain’s been drawn over her face. The twinkle in her eyes has turned into something like a spark of anger. “He’s been plotting something, and I intend to nip it in the fucking bud.” She shifts a little, her coat moving to reveal a leather holster at her hip. It feels like the air gets twenty degrees colder.

Alaska feels like she can barely breathe. She takes a step back.

The ‘Solomon isn’t here’ gets caught in her throat, another part of the sentence catching her attention. “‘We’?”

A slow smirk spreads across Sharon’s face. “Oops,” she says. “I’ve always had a hard time keeping secrets.” And quick as a rattlesnake, she draws her pistol and fires it once into the air. Alaska flinches violently at the sound of it, breath coming in strange stutters as adrenaline rushes through her. A responding gunshot sounds somewhere in the distance, along with growing shouts.

Alaska runs.

She flies up the hill, Sharon’s laugh chasing her like some sort of nightmare, whoops and hollers echoing off of the valley walls from all directions. She’s halfway to the house when a horse suddenly shoots past her, and she trips over her skirt in shock, falling to her hands and knees with a painful jolt. She looks up to see Sharon riding it, heading somewhere to the left of the house.

It’s stupid to feel betrayed. She’d talked to Sharon for less than ten minutes, and Sharon hadn’t even tried to hide who she was. Hell, Alaska had given her the only lie she told.

It’s stupid, and Alaska shoves the feeling aside. There are more important things to be worrying about.

She scrambles to her feet and keeps running, ignoring the temptation to flee the other way.

She bursts into the house, turning and slamming the door shut behind her, locking it. She turns to see her uncle, Cassidy, and the other men all emerging from the office, guns drawn and looking hunted.

“Alaska?” her uncle says, frowning. “Did you see something out there?”

“No,” she lies, because she can’t tell him that she was too fucking entranced by Sharon Needles to do anything. “But I heard something.”

“We all fucking heard something,” one of the men snaps, referring to the sound of pounding hooves, and distant shouts surrounding the house.

“Jesus Christ,” Cassidy says, pointing his gun alternately between the windows and the door. He sounds accusatory, like he blames her uncle for what’s going down, and Alaska finds herself half agreeing.

She shouldn’t be here. They shouldn’t - her uncle shouldn’t have invited her here when he was at risk. It was - it was wrong. Anger boils up within her, and it feels better than fear, so she grabs onto it. “What were you guys even doing?” she cries.

Her uncle looks at her, wide eyed. He looks guilty, but Alaska is far past forgiveness, not when gunshots can be heard just outside the house. “I’m sorry, Alaska,” he says, brow furrowed. “I didn’t think it would get this out of hand.”

“You had wanted criminals over for dinner,” Alaska snaps. “How can you - how - ?” She’s tripping over her words, just like she always does when she’s upset, and it’s only making her angrier.

Her uncle grimaces, but before he can respond a sudden pounding on the door has everyone falling into a tense silence. The hoofbeats have stopped - it’s completely silent. They all point their guns at the door.

“Open up, motherfuckers!” a voice shouts.

Someone shoots the lock off, and the door slowly swings open. They all wait with baited breath. Cassidy steps forward, lining his gun up. Alaska takes several steps back, nearly going into the office, breathing so hard she feels like she’s going to be sick.

There are two beats of silence.

Her uncle frowns, gun lowering a little in his confusion. “Wh–”

Two deafening shots echo from the windows on either side of them, shattering the glass, and two of the five men drop dead. Alaska can’t help the scream she lets out, flinching wildly.

“Fuck!” Cassidy shouts, making an aborted attempt to go towards one of the bodies before remembering that he still needs to be on his guard. “Jesus shit!”

The door is kicked open suddenly, making Alaska jump. The woman that stands in the doorway is tall, with sharp features and an amused smirk. Alaska recognizes her from the other poster that had been beside Sharon’s, the unusual name catching her attention more than Sharon’s.

Detox.

“Where’s Solomon?” Detox says, pointing right back at Cassidy.

He doesn’t answer, and she takes another step forward. “I said–”

“He’s not here.” Sharon steps out from behind Detox, gun drawn and smug smirk still firmly in place. “He’s smarter than that.”

“Surprising,” Detox says, and Sharon snorts. She hasn’t bothered to raise her gun, and Alaska wants to scream at her uncle or the other man to do something.

“He wouldn’t be the annoyance that he is if he wasn’t.” Sharon says before pointing her gun at Alaska’s uncle almost lazily, like it had been an afterthought. It makes Alaska’s blood boil, both at Sharon’s arrogance and her uncle for feeding into it by being an idiot.

Sharon glances at the right window and jerks her head.

A shot rings out, and Cassidy’s last man drops nearly instantaneously with a cry of pain, and Alaska jumps again, unable to keep herself from squeaking, a little. It’s a harsh reminder of the steel trap that Sharon has them in, and Alaska hates that she needed her memory jogged.

Two women slide into the house through the windows, one hispanic and a little heavier, and the other white and stick thin, face covered in freckles. They both wear their hair in two braids, honey blonde and brown respectively, and they both look like they’re having the time of their lives.

“Alright,” Sharon says, using her gun to talk like an extension of her hand. Her blasé tone is disconcerting, and Alaska shrinks further into the office. “You’ve got two choices: tell us where Solomon is, or,” she holds up her gun and shrugs.

Both Cassidy and Alaska’s uncle remain silent, Cassidy staring Sharon in the face and her uncle twisting around to look at Alaska.

She wills him to turn back around, to stop drawing attention to her already mediocre hiding spot, but he starts to mouth something instead, nodding his head towards the office. After two times, she understands: burn it.

“What are you doing?” the woman with brown braids asks, voice harsher that Alaska would have guessed.

Sharon looks at her for the first time since she’s entered the house. Alaska feels frozen under her stare.

“Alaska!” her uncle snaps, and it works: she snaps out of it, adrenaline flooding her body and moving as quickly as she possibly can.

She steps back into the office and slams the door shut behind her, locking it with shaking hands. Terrifying shouts and bangs immediately start as soon as the lock slides into place, but they’re muffled, and Alaska knows she has limited time to do what her uncle needs before they find a way in.

She turns to the desk, eyes moving from place to place without direction before finally landing on the map lying across the desk, ink marks scattered all over it. She rushes to the desk to pick it up, and after a moment of examining it, she knows that what her uncle needs her to do is destroy it.

It’s a map detailing the location of a camp, presumably Solomon’s, and possible escape routes and alternate locations. If Sharon got her hands on this, the camp would be completely fucked. She would win whatever rivalry is going on between the two gangs with ease, and Solomon and her uncle would have no chance.

Alaska reaches for the lantern to burn the map in, but she hesitates. Would it be terrible if they got the map? It would end the rivalry, and it isn’t like her uncle isn’t already in as much danger as he could be in. He isn’t living in this camp, and Alaska couldn’t give a fuck about Solomon or Cassidy.

But does she want Sharon to win?

She stares at it, doing her best to memorize the map and the twisting ink paths. Keeping the map whole isn’t an option, but she thinks - she needs to have some leverage, here. If something should happen to her, who she wants to win regardless, she needs to have something that makes her useful.

She isn’t nearly as familiar with it as she’d like to be when a thud suddenly rattles the door to the office, making her jump nearly ten feet in the air. The door thuds again, the hinges rattling, and Alaska starts folding the map so that it can fit into the lantern, shoving it into the flame just as the door flies open and strong hands grab her from behind.

Alaska screams, kicking and trying to hit her assailant with her elbows.

“Jesus Christ,” someone hisses, and Alaska thinks she recognizes the voice as Detox’s. She flings her elbow back again, newly desperate, only to have it caught by one of Detox’s hands. Detox grabs her other arm as well, and Alaska’s arms are soon twisted around her back in such a way that she can’t move them no matter how hard she tries.

It’s utterly terrifying, and Alaska can’t help but let out a little sob as Detox forces her out of the office and into the parlor, where the brunette woman with the twin braids has Cassidy on his knees. Her uncle is nowhere to be seen.

“Where is–” she starts, voice growing into a shout, but Sharon cuts her off, her own tone surprisingly heated.

“Bastard got away,” she says, scowling. “I’m not sure how, considering how many of us there are, but he’s fucking gone.”

“Thank God,” Alaska says, relieved. She ignores the feeling of being abandoned. One of them had to get away, had to be able to get the law. It just happened to be him. “Thank fucking God.”

Sharon’s eyebrows shoot up. “That’s no way a lady should speak,” she says, and the blonde woman snickers. Alaska glares at her.

“I’m not exactly going to give you the respect of polite society,” she snarls. “Now let me go!” She jerks fruitlessly at Detox’s grip, and Sharon laughs, coming closer. Alaska wants to hurt her, wants to make her feel as scared and angry as she is right now.

“We can’t let you go,” Sharon says, fake pouting. “Sorry. But your uncle had you do something in that office, and with him gone, you’re our only shot at finding out just what it was.”

Alaska falls silent, unable to think of a comeback that won’t put her at risk in one way or another. She needs to know something to prove herself too valuable to kill. But because she knows something, she’s going to be taken away. She’s stuck between a rock and a hard place, and Sharon is both Charbydis and Scylla.

Alaska settles for glaring at Sharon, who only grins back. Alaska does not think about how the gap in her teeth still makes her stomach flutter.

Sharon turns away, smile fading in favor of a more serious look. She looks at the brunette woman. “Morgan, shoot Cassidy. We need to leave.”

“What?” Cassidy splutters, eyes wide. Alaska is surprised to see him reduced to such a mess. “I don’t–”

“Shut up,” Sharon sneers, walking over to and kicking him in the stomach. He curls in on himself, wheezing, and Alaska winces in sympathy. “We don’t need to hear your side of the story. I’ve already heard three different girls’, and frankly, I’m exhausted.”

Morgan suddenly pistol whips Cassidy across the face, and he drops like a brick, groaning. She spits on him.

“Make it quick, Morgan,” Sharon says sharply. “The law’s already crawling up my ass as it is, and Thunder’s gonna return with the entire fucking Union.”

“No problem,” Morgan says, and she shoots him twice.

They’re not kind shots - one in the knee and the other in his stomach. The scream he lets out raises the hair on Alaska’s arms, and she feels a terror like she’s never known before. She thinks briefly about jerking away and running, but she feels rooted to the spot, staring down at Cassidy’s writhing body. Not like she’d actually escape Detox, anyway.

Another shot makes her jump, and Cassidy falls limp. “I said make it quick,” Sharon says, tucking her gun back into her belt. Alaska hadn’t even seen her move.

“I missed,” Morgan shrugs, but she doesn’t sound apologetic about it.

“Sure,” Sharon says doubtfully, but there’s a strange affection in her tone that undermines any reprimand. Her gaze suddenly lands on Alaska, and she’s back to smirking. “Excuse her,” she says. “She hasn’t been out in a while.”

“Rude,” Morgan snorts. She tucks her two pistols into their holsters, spinning them as she does.

“We need to go,” Detox says. Alaska tries not to cringe away from the voice close to her ear. She wants to retain at least some dignity.

“You’re right,” Sharon says. “Sorry. Got distracted.” She winks at Alaska, and Alaska’s stomach squirms with hatred and an unwilling attraction. She blames her childhood fanaticism.

They exit the house quickly, swinging up onto their horses, Morgan and the other woman speeding away immediately. Detox and Alaska still remain on foot, Alaska’s arms beginning to go numb with how far they’re strained behind her.

“Detox,” Sharon calls from on top of an enormous black Friesian. “She can go with me.”

“What? Why?” Alaska asks harshly as Detox leads her over.

“A little bonding never hurt anyone,” Sharon answers, smirking. Detox swings Alaska up behind her with an alarming ease, and Alaska balances herself, nearly falling off immediately.

Sharon looks at the house and then at Detox, and as Alaska is debating the pros and cons of sliding off the horse and running, she says something that makes Alaska’s blood run cold.

“Burn it.”

“No,” Alaska breathes. But something in her can’t wait to see it in flames.

Sharon eggs her horse into a gallop just as the flames catch onto one of the windowsills, and Alaska stares at the house until she can’t anymore, the orange of the flames burned into the backs of her eyelids.

Loss and relief shouldn’t be felt so soon after one another.

[yoongehs]

rules: answer 10 questions, write your own, and tag 10 people

i was tagged by the lovely @prodagustd ! !

♡ do you use pinterest? if you do, share one of ur boards for us to see~

i keep a lot of my boards private. my biggest one? outfit inspo. she thicc lmao. not sharing due to privacy reasons.

♡ what non kpop artists/groups are your favorite atm?

i’ve been really vibing with yumi zouma, rina sawayama, halsey, and hayley williams. all of them have new albums out, and i was actually gonna see all of them this summer before rona hit. 😔

♡ what’s one hairstyle/make up/outfit you’d put in your bias(es) right now if you had free reign over their style?

i was gonna say an undercut for yoongi but HE ALREADY GOT ONE!!! i’d like to see sunmi in a lot more punky/gothy outfits. that pic she posted on her instagram in the big t-shirt and the thigh highs KILLED ME.

♡ if you could pick a place to take your mutuals on a date where would you pick and with who?

hmm, i’d like to go to a cute cafe and get chai lattes! there’s a lot of cute ones in my city, but my favorite cafe closed this past winter. 😭 they had THE BEST lemon ricotta pancakes 🍋🥞💕💕 i’ve been there with @drinking-thestars before, but i wish i could have taken @greenmetalroof when she was visiting!

♡ have you played any of the bts apps? if so how much do u hate bts world be honest

i’ve only ever played bts world, and i actually really liked it lmaooooo. i used to play it every day until i got animal crossing. been thinking about getting into it again. i just thought it was adorable that they were putting so much effort into something like that for the fans.

♡ what social media do u use the most outside of tumblr?

instagram! i’m a bit hesitant to share my username, as i’m worried about people irl finding some of the cringe fucking shit i’ve said on the 9 years i’ve had this stupid blog, but if y’all want it i can give it to you individually. also i’m on stan twitter as @ yoongibiitch

♡ top 3 songs, movies, and events u witnessed in 2020?

songs: alanis’ interlude - halsey, love me 4 me - rina sawayama, kazino - bibi

movies: apocalypse now (i hate war movies but i had to watch it for school), hiroshima mon amour, parasite

events: me probably having the fuckin’ rona, the entire bts on comeback season, YOONGIS UNDERCUT (listen it’s been a slow year so these were the best i could do lmao)

♡ do you like true crime and conspiracy theory videos? if yes what are ur faves?

i do! there’s a couple of channels i follow regularly.

Bailey Sarian - i love her murder, mystery, & makeup monday videos.

That Chapter - thicc accent! covers a lot of messed up cases.

bonus: Nexpo - not exactly true crime but discusses and debunks online anomalies that make your skin crawl. thought i’d throw that in there for anyone who wants to freak themselves out a bit lol. if y’all want more spoopy shit i can give it to y’all.

♡ who’s an artist you want to see collab w bts?

RINA OMG. GIVE ME RINA AND BTS PLS. i really love the music she makes and i think she and the boys could really make something cool together.

♡ if you *had* to dress like a character from ur fav show/movie for the rest of ur life who would it be?

probably envy adams from scott pilgrim vs. the world. that black dress with the blonde baby pigtails is such a fucking look.

questions from me:

♡ what made you get into kpop? was it a friend, the internet, stans on twitter, etc.? (if you’re not into kpop what are you into now and how did you get into it?)

♡ what are you most excited to do once the pandemic is over and it’s actually safe to do things?

♡ do you believe in ghosts/spirits? why or why not?

♡ what’s your favorite aesthetic going around the internet right now?

♡ do you have any hobbies? especially ones within the arts? (my dumb art school ass can’t withhold her curiosity lmao)

♡ do you have any food combinations that seem strange/disgusting to others? what are they?

♡ are you in school? if so, what do you study/plan to study? if not, what do you do/plan to do in terms of jobs, trades, etc.?

♡ name every one of your biases from every group you stan. do it. (tell me a random fact about yourself if you’re not into kpop)

♡ what are your favorite youtube channels to watch? (if ur not into youtube then tell me your fave tv shows)

♡ how are you feeling today? have you taken care of yourself at all today? i know the world is in a really volatile state right now and how stressful that can be in many ways depending on the facets of your identity and privilege/lack of privilege. please feel free to talk to me if you need to. i might not always understand your struggles like you do, but i can empathize and be a listening ear. no pressure, i just want you and everyone else who follows me that i’m here for you.

people who are tagged and can participate if they wanna:

@drinking-thestars @greenmetalroof @www-modcloth-com @gingerale-addict @haogoodau @bangtanger @softesthobi @yoonmochiiii @yoongikook @byunvoyage

[becksfm]

hey CASEY “BECK” BECKHAM , welcome to dillon university . has anyone ever told you you’re GAVIN LEATHERWOOD’s twin ? no ? well okay , i heard you are TWENTY - TWO & a JUNIOR at the university . we hope BIOCHEMISTRY isn’t kicking your ass too much , especially since you’re a STUDENT PHYSICAL TRAINER . see you at the next game, BECK & character’s cismale + he/him . 

it’s me & i’m here for round fuckin’ two , friends . this time i bring you resident GOLDEN BOY . . . a whole 6′1 of soft boy energy . . . floppy overgrown curls . . . king of talking - your - way - out - of - everything . . . retired hockey player . . . a man of Many Talents , of which the most astounding is his ability to look like he’s got it all together when , in fact , he does not ! under the cut , you’ll find a lil more about him . . . & if you wanna plot hmu @ 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣#9956 on discord or pop into my ims here !! 

𝑩 𝑨 𝑪 𝑲 𝑮 𝑹 𝑶 𝑼 𝑵 𝑫 .

dillon , texas born & raised . on the outskirts of town is a ranch that is enough to house the beckham family: mom, dad, and all eight beckham children . beck is the second oldest , with one older sister , four younger sisters , and two younger brothers . . . not necessarily in that order . 

mother , sophia mattheson - beckham is a lawyer based in austin working with the ACLU , and father , michael beckham has a small private practice in dillon working as a pediatrician . they weren’t home often , but when they were , they spent as much time with the kiddos as possible . it’s just . . . they were so rarely home that it really didn’t matter. 

with the beckham name, though, comes the pressure to be SOMETHING GREAT , and that’s something that’s been a part of beck’s life since . . . he can remember . little league & kindergarten grades were always taken a little too seriously , and it didn’t help that his older sister was a shining example of perfection . 

growing up it was hard not to like him. he was quiet for the most part , but goofy when he wasn’t . there was a little extra charm about him that just gave him an all around magnetic pull . kids wanted to be his friend and he wanted to be theirs . he fit in , but around home , he was the odd man out . beck was always a little more interested in sports rather than math or music rather than reading . it wasn’t to say he wasn’t smart , it just kind of –– bored him?? where his family was v

there was give and take with beck–– the golden boy of dillon but the black sheep of the family . he could play hockey if he kept his grades up. he could take guitar if he was also on student government and model u.n.. his parents would applaud him on his grades but never cared to hear him play; they’d show up for debates but rarely ever saw a hockey game. it was touch and go, his relationship with them, and it still is.

DESPITE IT ALL though, you wouldn’t catch him complaining. he bore the crown of homecoming king his senior year and never went to a dance without a date. teachers loved him, so did his coaches. he found a best friend in one cameron sloane –– ( because of course he did ) –– when the sloanes moved to dillon , and they were an unstoppable kind’a duo on and off the ice.

when it came time to pick a college, he really . . . had his pick of the lot. coulda gone anywhere, but there were roughly six reasons , all with the same last name , that kept him close to home. his parents even agreed that if he went in as pre-med, they would pay for the whole thing . . . and even make time to watch him play hockey. 

things were good for a long while, until they weren’t. you can usually see the stars on the outskirts of dillon, but one night, his sophomore year, you couldn’t. storm clouds covered ‘em up, and he tried his damndest to get cameron to stick around a celebratory party until it passed, but sloanes are stubborn and there was no changing his mind. 

cam passing away was like losing a brother, and he spent countless hours pacing in a hospital waiting room . . . hoping for good news and never getting it. beck had never known loss like that, and it knocked him into a bit of a tailspin . he quit hockey and didn’t register for school the next year . he spent a lot of time at a family residence in austin and even more time drinking . for the most part . . . he kind of DISAPPEARED , losing himself in the process for a good nine months.

they say it takes a village to raise a kid, and it took a village to drag this one out of a spiral. his parents. his siblings. his friends. and eventually . . .  dillon’s football coaching staff. a loud knock on the door from coach buchanan and a swift kick in the ass from coach sloane, a man who knew the kid almost as well as he’d known his own son. come work for us, they told him . . . and it was a way to get him back on track under a watchful eye that. wasn’t quite as critical as his parents

so that’s where we are now . . . back at dillon, a year behind, and working with both the football and cheerleading team as a physical trainer, playing a heavy hand in making sure both teams are the best conditioned in the state of texas. his grades are looking up, and he’s still on the fast track for med school, much to his –– and his parents’s –– surprise. 

the beckhams don’t talk about his little stint of a spiral. no one in dillon does . . . unless in tones of hushed whispers alongside judgmental looks. beck doesn’t mind it too much ,though . . . even takes it as a challenge 

𝑷 𝑬 𝑹 𝑺 𝑶 𝑵 𝑨 𝑳 𝑰 𝑻 𝒀 . ( i’m getting tired so this gon be ugly )

you want inspo?? i’ll give ya inspo!! richard campbell gansey the third ( dick 3 babiiiie ) is my main inspo for beck. you’ll also find a lil bit of jim halpert, a lil bit of rob maclanahan from miracle ( even tho he w as a real person too shhh ), and *insert big eyed emoji here* grizz from the society 

ever since he can remember, there’s been pressure on this kid to be something great . . . so he feels like if he has the capability to do something, he has to do it. . . there’s no choice in the matter. a lot of this stems. from his parents, but he’s also really just . . . overly critical of himself sometimes

boy is a fucking PARADOX okay bc sometimes . . . . with the way he talks. . . . he accidentally puts his damn foot in his mouth . he’s smart so occasionally comes off as condescending , but he’s . . . incredible in conversation with people he needs to impress because he’s hella charming

that said... this quote is REALLY important and REALLY summative of beck: “Gansey had always felt as if there were two of him: the Gansey who was in control, able to handle any situation, able to talk to anyone, and then, the other, more fragile Gansey, strung out and unsure, embarrassingly earnest, driven by naive longing.” –– let’s dive into that!! when he feels like he’s got a sense of control of the things around him, when he’s in his element or in his comfort zone, when he’s feeling confident , the boy is a force. he can talk you and anyone else out of any situation, and he has. he can make friends with anyone put in front of him, and he has. when beck is ON . . . he is on . . . but it’s a bit surface level because when he’s not wearing the crown of GOLDEN BOY and he’s . . . vulnerable . . . or unsure . . . or stressed . . . he tends to put that foot of his in his mouth and spit. out whatever it is he’s thinking. he’s honest to a fault in this sense, and he’s hopeful beyond compare. 

an introvert. . . . can CHARM u but doesn’t want to because honestly that is so draining and he’d much rather be at home. the popular type but only has a few friends that are really really close to him

loyal to a fault . . . will give you 392847 chances that you don’t deserve .. fool me once shame on you ! fool me twice shame on me! fool me three time what the fuck bro now ur just taking advantage of me 

very . .. calm and even tempered.  he’s a mediating type and like . . would rather find a conflict resolution than sWING u feel me

he’s cute.  .. . and. people love him but .  . . despite it all, he really doesn’t let that go to his head?? the boy was raised to believe you had to earn things and he’s just. idk . . .. humble king

eloquent as fuck ( lol good luck @ me writing that shit )

quick witted and very sharp

probably a lawful good type ngl :\

Does Not Do Well.With Change. when his older sister left dillon to go to notre dame??? boy damn near blew a gasket how dARE SHE go that far away!!! 

v close with his sibs . .. . activate Dad Mode. he loves all of them equally and definitely does not at all favor the 10 y/o baby brother of the family or his sister closest in age, who is also a student at dillon. doesn’t favor them ONE BIT 

u want a vibe for the beckhams??? “ the beckhams were courtiers and kings . when there was no castle to invite them, they built one” ( we stan ONE weird author lady named maggie)

insomnia!! the boy nEVER SLEEPS1! always thinking. always planning what’s next. gotta go gotta go gotta go.

kind of .. . a hopeless romantic :\ dated the same girl for most of high school but when she fucked off to ole miss she broke up with him in a text. so that .. . . . .. went well for him ..... still a dumb bitch tho and would love to hold ur hand

wire rimmed glasses, wool sweaters, light colored hoodies, distressed denim, cuffed pants, :\ chelsea boots :\

phobia of bees. there’s literally no reason for this other than my own, personal, geeked out pleasure

prank king

Smart Jock Type

plays guitar to relieve stress and you bet baby’s got some pipes here u go 

literally nothing like nicholas scratch DO NOT call him daddy

tall and doesn’t know what to do with all the extra limb like .  . . . . the fuck

will push you to your personal best in any conditioning circumstance

okay I THINK THAT’S ALL . . .. i’m a big fan of basic plots that kinda ebb and flow with chemistry BUT!! gimme the basics man . . . a roommate . . . a past hookup or two . . . some spicy friendships or . . . fRENEMIES even u know the drill

ok that’s all i hope u love him bc i am v nervous about playing A Man buT IT IS WHAT IT IS U KNOW

[cyncity2000]

73 questions tag! tysm @goodlesson , can’t say i’ve ever had anything like this before but hey it’s not like I have anything better to do rn 😅 

answers under the cut! i tag @rene-royale @teenager-confused-tired @sawafilmtoday @onedoesnotsimplystormthebastille if you feel like it, but no pressure bc this is a LOT and took me a couple days to finish lol

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? um. could be worse, could be better?? so 5. 

describe yourself in a hashtag? no. twitter and all its shitty hashtags can go to hell.

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? weird question. nobody?? i wouldn’t want to??

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? not to be all dan smith on main but like...’come to this please’

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? uhhhh idk. i’m very open about most aspects of my personality i’d say

what’s your wake up ritual? stay in bed as long as possible and then YEET at maximum speed so i don’t waste the day

what’s your go to bed ritual? tell myself i should go to bed. pick up my phone instead. regret it in the morning.

what’s your favorite time of day? 2pm or 9-10pm 

your go to for having a good laugh? macdoesit or drawfee videos on youtube. truly the best.

dream country to visit? i wanna go back to england and france, also i’d love to visit literally anywhere i could

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? falling in love with my college roommate probably,, didn’t see THAT coming

heels or flats/sneakers? bitch i’m 5′10″ with size 12.5 feet. converse.

vintage or new? vintage looks cool. i am not cool. so new.

who do you want to write your obituary? idk man i don’t wanna think about that now???

style icon? if you knew me irl you’d know style is not a word in my vocabulary

what are three things you cannot live without? my cat, my friends/gf, and my cd collection 

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? i do not bake or cook, the real world is going to kill me immediately

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? i’d be too stressed to make food for people but i’d love to like. go OUT for dinner with...dodie, dallon weekes, and pj liguori. they’re all just cool people i follow and i wanna know what they’re LIKE. 

what’s your biggest fear in life? failure due to lack of confidence, motivation and direction in life :)))

window or aisle seat? i’d say window but i am long boi so aisle is usually nicer unless i trip someone by accident

what’s your current tv obsession? still supernatural, also brooklyn 99

favorite app? tumblr :D

secret talent? despite my crippling procrastination issues i’ve almost always been a straight-A student 🤷‍♀️

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? drove myself two hours to a concert in february, or maybe the time i did a really hard ropes course or went to the badlands?

how would you define yourself in three words? introverted, distracted, nerdy

favorite piece of clothing you own? maybe my waterparks sweatshirt bc i had a dream last night that i donated it and then went back to the store to buy it back lmao so subconsciously i must really like it

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? you gotta have that one pair of black jeans that goes with anything imo

a superpower you would want? flying. it’s the only recurring dream i’ve ever had and it’s my only answer ever

what’s inspiring you in life right now? all the people doing big or little things to help. the ones doing instagram lives or sending money or supplies to people in need or just giving me more faith in humanity

best piece of advice you’ve received? can’t remember any. why doesn’t anyone give me good advice

best advice you’d give your teenage self? do your laundry on time. don’t wear...whatever that was to school. just wash ur fuckin clothes. also don’t let it bother you that you’re single the whole time. you’ll get there.

a book everyone should read? they both die at the end by adam silvera. you WILL cry. but you will love it. 

what would you like to be remembered for? i have no idea. being a non-shitty person at least.

how do you define beauty? happiness.

what do you love most about your body? idk being tall is kinda nice

best way to take a rest/decompress? get a blanket. comfy clothes. my cat. put headphones on. put some music on or watch youtube.

favorite place to view art? on tumblr and instagram! i follow soo many wonderful artists it’s great

if your life was a song, what would the title be? Oh No (What Is She Doing Now?)

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? piano or guitar. i suck at both and if i could be good at ONE i’d be happy

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? been thinking about this tbh. somewhere on my arm definitely but idk where D:

dolphins or koalas? dolphins!!

what’s your spirit animal? a cat?

best gift you’ve ever received? for christmas my sister bought me a cute lil box meant for displaying concert tickets and it was the most thoughtful thing ever. also the AMAZING studio headphones i’m currently using that my mom got me like three years ago for christmas

best gift you’ve given? probably when i bought me and my best friend tickets to see the Sherlock S4 finale in a movie theater 

what’s your favorite board game? cards against humanity, one night ultimate werewolf/alien, settlers of catan

what’s your favorite color? porpleee 💜

least favorite color? hmm they’re all valid except for like. puke green.

diamond or pearls? neither lol

drugstore makeup or designer? neither 😜

blow-dry or air-dry? blow-dry but i never do bc it takes y e a r s

pilates or yoga? yoga!

coffee or tea? both but only hot tea or frozen coffee 

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? thanks to tumblr the word ‘defenestrate’ has entered my vocabulary and I do not regret it

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? either. chocolate is chocolate 🍫

stairs or elevators? tbh stairs, i’m just a lazy bitch

summer or winter? winter. cold > hot

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? i’d still get tired of it :( i need that variety!!

a dessert you don’t like? none. dessert is dessert and it is all valid if i can eat it

a skill you’re working on mastering? writing, working from home, playing the guitar

best thing to happen to you today? currently watching mike gross play old brobecks tunes :’) he also just saw my comment yay

worst thing to happen to you today? i had cheesecake for lunch. sounds good but it’s the only thing i’ve had today besides a piece of chocolate and my body is Not Happy

best compliment you’ve ever received? someone on fanfiction dot net once left me a comment saying they’d almost cried at my story and called me “a true writer” and it’s honestly one of the only thing that keeps me writing...i’m still mad they weren’t signed in so I’ll never be able to thank them for it.

favorite smell? lemon, cookies, fresh-cut grass

hugs or kisses? hugs!!

if you made a documentary, would it be about? somethin gay probably

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? honestly...probably “who the fuck is keith” fjadskljfd

lipstick or lipgloss? like peyton said chapstick is the only valid answer

sweet or savory? depends how i’m feelin, love both

girl crush? besides the obvious one (my girlfriend), honestly not many? there’s this one girl i follow on insta who’s big in the panic! fandom and jESUS SHE’S SO PRETTY. also the girl who plays kaia in supernatural is CUUUTE

how do you know you’re in love? has only happened to me once but for me...i already loved her platonically for months and then suddenly one day i was like oh. why am i getting the urge to kiss you rn. oh no.

a song you can listen to on repeat? anything by idkhow or bastille. never gets old.

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? not to copy peyton but i would love to know what goes on inside my cat’s head

what are you most excited for about this time in your life? next semester of college!! i got into a super-competitive dorm and i’m gonna have my own room and live with nine other people and gahh i’m just so excited to be chaotic with all my friends again and meet new people :’)

[autistic-characterhcs]

Autistic!Wayne (P1)

I wrote this back at the start of summer and thought I should post it here. It’s the introduction for a fanfic I started and kind of dropped from a show called Letterkenny. I think the main character, Wayne, is Autistic. He has some symptoms that are all but text book. 

Warnings: Stronger than usual swearing langue. If you watch Letterkenny, this oneshot is cleaner worded than any given episode. 

Wayne had been diagnosed with Autism when he was eight or ten. His parents knew there was something a little “off” with him but it was Pa’s friend, Dan, who tied everything together. They were going hunting- Dan, Pa, Darry, and Wayne that is- until the trip got rained out. If it was just rain they would have gone but thunder and lightning put a pin in any notion of sitting in a metal framed deer blind.

Pa and Dan didn’t mind that much; they sat at the table chatting with Mumma over a couple of Gus’N’Bruno’s Puppers. Darry was watching cartoons in the living room with Wayne and Katy. Well, sort of. Wayne was mighty antsy and couldn’t sit still for long, so Darry was trying to calm him down. Wayne wasn’t upset the trip was cancelled, they could reschedule. He was irked the plans had changed within an hour’s notice.

“You know, Bens, I thinks Waynes got the Autisms.” Dan said. 

The three of them could see Darry shuffling a deck of playing cards on the coffee table while Wayne watched, his foot bouncing a mile a minute and he kneaded the knees of his pants like he was trying to wring water out of them.

“What’s that now, Dan?” Mumma asked, getting a snack for the kids. 

“Well, I was thinking an’ it fits. My cousin’s nephew’s son has it and Waynes acts sort of simulars to him. Theys both stoics, gots to has a water-tight routine. Theys both move their hands sorts of funnies.” Dan explained. 

Mumma and Pa looked at each other. “What do you figure, honey” Pa asked. “Worth looking into?” 

“If there’s something they can do to help him.” 

Within three appointments Wayne was diagnosed with Autism. Same as always, gas travels fast in a small town so by the end of the week most of Letterkenny knew.

*****

As Wayne, Katy, and Darry got older, peers started bullying Wayne and Darry more. Come middle school, the three of them were pretty good at fighting. However, little gangs often sprouted. If someone picked on Wayne, Katy and/or Darry quickly taught them not to fuck with him. If someone went after Darry without reason or went too far with Katy, Wayne told ‘em where to go. By the time Wayne and Darry graduated high school, most of Letterkenny understood.

*****

When Wayne and Katy’s parents died, Wayne went nearly nonverbal for almost two weeks. He wasn’t one much for words in the first place, so the one and two word answers scared Katy. Wayne hadn’t cried after a week of Mumma and Papa’s death and Katy didn’t know if he was going to; she’d never seen him cry before. 

Two weeks passed before he finally crumbled. He was making breakfast for himself, Katy, and Darry (with some extras for Dan). He’d forgotten to do the dishes the night before, so the spatula he needed wasn’t clean and it drove the final nail in. 

He threw the spoon he had in his hand across the room and a deep growl rose from his throat, his hands tugging hard on his hair. Katy and Darry both jumped when Wayne threw the spoon. Daryl jumped up from his chair and stood behind Wayne, getting a tight grip on his wrists. Slowly, Wayne’s fingers released his hair and Darry steadily lowered Wayne’s hands to his waist. 

“You’re okay, good buddy, you’re okay.” Darry whispered again and again. Once Wayne’s breathing was a little closer to normal, Darry let go of Wayne’s wrists and hugged him tightly. 

With a body shuddering sob,  Wayne’s knees gave out and Darry lowered them to the floor. He moved around Wayne so he could properly hold him as he sobbed. Katy quickly set to flipping pancakes on the stove so they wouldn’t burn. 

Ten minutes later when Dan came in, Wayne was still sobbing into Darry’s shoulder where they sat on the floor. At the 15 minute mark, the heart wrenching sobs that made Katy tear up quieted down and he’d sobbed himself out after a total of 25 minutes. He let himself be held by Darry, being a limp weight. 

Darry backed up slightly so he could see his best friend’s face. His eyes were red; his face red, blotchy, and tear streaked. “Okay, big shooter?” Wayne shakily nodded and Darry pulled him back into the hug. “Got a headache?” Darry guessed. Another nod. “Let’s get you in a chair an’ I’ll get you a tylenol, hm?” There was a pause but Wayne nodded all the same. 

Darryl got Wayne on his feet again and he brought his hands to his head again but Darry caught them around the wrists. “Wayne, eye contact.” He prompted. “Wayne.” Hesitantly, Wayne brought his eyes to meet Darryl’s. “Ya gotta stop pullin’ your hair, buddy. It’s just gonna make your headache worse.” Darryl kept his firm grip on Wayne’s wrists until he got another nod of conformation. As promised, Darry helped Wayne to his usual chair. 

No-one said anything about Wayne’s outburst and he took the two painkillers when Darryl put them in front of him with some water. No-one said anything when Wayne teared up throughout the day, either. 

Dan stayed over more than usual knowing what Wayne and Katy were going through. Dan stayed closer to Wayne and Katy too so he could cheer up the grieving siblings.

*****

Two months passed before a lawyer came knocking and  this fuckin’ idiot got Wayne fully verbal again. 

“We think it would be best to move your sister into a group home,” the case worker said. 

“Hard no.” Wayne didn’t pause, still moving the bales of straw onto the trailer. “This family’s been broke up enough. Katy isn’t going anywhere.” 

“We’re just worried she won’t be provided for with your mental cond-” 

“This doesn’t have anything to do with my Autism. If I was unfit to care for my sister, I’d be unfit to care for myself and someone at the hospital would have told me before I turned 18. We’re staying together.” 

“Mr-” 

“Look, I can take care of my sister just fine. ‘Sides, if it’s me yer worried about I’m never alone with her. Go ask Darryl, Squirrely Dan, and the McMurries what they think. Darry lives with us, he brings in some pay o’ his own and we have friends we can ask for help from if we ever needed it. Give me the papers and I’ll take custody over Katy. She ain’t living under someone else’s roof until she’s 18 or good’n’ready to be living somewhere else.” 

“Are you sure? That’s a lot of stress and burden for someone your age. Especially with you still running the farm.” 

Wayne stopped moving bales of hay and set his stern, squinted eyes on the pair of caseworkers, pointing stiffly at them. “You call my sister a stress and burden one more time an’ I’ll have to go over there and talk to ya.” He put his arm down. “Get me the adoption papers or get the fuck off my property.” 

“We don’t have the papers right now. We didn’t think you were going to…” 

“Then get off my property. Come back with the papers or don’t come back at all.”

*****

Wayne dated Angie for two years before he found out she cheated on him. He wasn’t a fan of being touched by anyone other than Darry or Katy. He’d been perfectly happy with their relationship. All the talking and occasional hand holding but nothing too out of his comfort zone. They’d kiss or make out sometimes but he always felt weird afterwards and he couldn’t pin it as a good thing or a bad thing. 

He heard rumours around town of someone cheating on a “sped” but he ignored it. Despite Letterkenny being pretty small, he didn’t know everyone, so it must have been pert near impossible for it to be about him and his Angie, right? Hard no. Katy told him it was true. She hadn’t mentioned left a bright pink hand print on the cheek of the bastard Angie had cheated on Wayne with. She figured it wouldn’t help her brother’s broken heart. 

It took a lot for Wayne to trust someone and Angie had somehow gotten herself into the farmer’s heart and then stomped it into the dirt when she got bored. Wayne didn’t cry but he didn’t turn down a hug from Katy either. Darry had been there for him too with a couple of Puppers and some stupid jokes he knew Wayne would understand and enjoy.

*****

A year passed before Wayne pieced things together for himself with a little help from Katy. He wasn’t one for talking about his feelings; it made him feel 10-ply. So when he went to Katy to ask questions about her love life, the young woman had some idea of what was going on. 

“How’re ya now?” Wayne sat next to his sister on the couch. 

“Good. ‘N you?” Katy put her phone down and gave Wayne her full attention so he’d know she was listening and wasn’t bored or wanted him to stop talking. 

“Oh, not so bad.” 

“What’s up, Big Brother?” 

“Well, I have a question and don’t completely know how to ask it.” He started off slow. He was still thinking as he spoke but Katy knew how to talk to her brother so she knew it sometime took him a little while longer than most people to get the question just how he wanted it. 

“We can figure out.” She adjusted how she was sitting. 

“You know how you try to go after Bonnie McMurry?” Wayne tried. 

“Bonnie McMurry,” Katy sighed dreamily. “What about her?” 

“Well, before you liked her you were dating the hockey players.” Wayne’s head was racing with how to ask the next part. “How’d you know you liked Bonnie and not another man?” 

Katy was a little taken aback. This was out of character for Wayne. Usually he wanted nothing =to do with Riley and Jonesy aside from tripping them with Darry when they dropped her off before they broke up. “Well, uh… just… I don’t know, Big Brother. There’s just something different, you know? Jonesy and Riley were good for in bed stuff but they didn’t have the brain space put together for a full conversation. With Bonnie, though, she’s smart and can laugh.” 

Wayne thought for a second. This was backwards of what he was going through. All Angie seemed to have wanted was the “in bed stuff” without much of the talking and laughing. Darryl, on the other hand… Darryl made him smile that rare smile only he and Katy- not even Dan anymore- got to see. Angie left Wayne for the exact opposite reason Katy had left the hockeyplayers. He was a good listener but didn’t want anything to do with a bed if it wasn’t for sleeping or relaxing and he didn’t want anything to with touching if it wasn’t a handshake. 

“What’s going on in your head, Wayne?” Katy asked fondly. She knew he was trying to figure something out. 

Wayne’s throat made the little growl it always did when he was thinking too hard. “I don’t know.” 

“Well, what are you trying to figure out?” 

“I figured out why Angie cheated on me.” He said, folding his arms across his chest. “I did not want any of the bed stuff.” 

“That’s alright; some people don’t.” Katy nodded. “Do you like someone else now?” 

“I think so. I don’t know if it is okay.” 

“Who do you like? I can probably tell if they’re into guys,” Katy offered. She knew not to push too far with the question. Wayne had come to her and he wasn’t likely to leave until they got it figured out. “It’s okay. I dated two guys at the same time where all three of us were in the relationship and now I’m chasing after a girl two years younger than me. I’m not in a position to judge anyone.”

“Except Gailer.” 

“Except Gailer.” Katy could give him that one. “So who is the lucky person?” 

“I think… I think it’s Dar.” 

“That’s alright. You two would be cute.” Katy smiled. She happened to know that Darry felt the same way about her brother. The fond and sappy look he’d give Wayne when he was playing with one of the dogs or joking around with Katy.  “You gonna get after him?” 

“I do not know.” 

“Why not? He wouldn’t judge you.” Katy prompted, tapping Wayne’s knee with her socked foot. 

“Because if something were to go wrong then it’s 20 years down the drain.” Wayne tried to reason. “I can trust…” 

“You can trust Daryl, Wayne. He’s one that won’t hurt you and you don’t even have to worry about it. Not even a little.” Katy comforted him. “You don’t have to tell him, but I think he’d want to know the truth, Big Brother.” 

It took Wayne a couple days to say anything- he didn’t really.  Just kissed him casually one morning- but he and Darry were dating by the end of the week.

[goodlesson]

got tagged by the ever wonderful @fortiesbucky to answer 73 (!!!!) questions. since i’m a lil wine drunk and waiting for my pokemon game to download i figured why not, let’s do it!!! here goes nothing. my answers are under the cut!

this is a ridiculous undertaking but i’ll tag some ppl i guess. if you have some time to kill....go for it! @dansmlth @mabelmcbae @mirandabeach @the-best-of-what-we-had-youknow @stormerforweekes @unseenpolarstars

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? like a 4?? we’re in the middle of a global pandemic (Yikes) but my big job interview is finally over with and it went really well so i guess that’s kind of exciting!

describe yourself in a hashtag? #DoItForDua

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? i’m ace let’s bake a cake together instead (looking @ u dan bastille)

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? this is not a musical despite the copious amounts of terrible singing

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? i WILL cry when ur least expecting it 

what’s your wake up ritual? make coffee/breakfast, mess around on tumblr for a bit and catch up on messages from friends, then log on to start work at nine

what’s your go to bed ritual? i’ve been playing animal crossing for like an hour before bed every night. that’s about it

what’s your favorite time of day? morning after i’ve had my coffee and i have my one hour of motivation to do things sxkljsdf

your go to for having a good laugh? vines that cured my depression compilations on youtube

dream country to visit? oh this is a hard one!! would love to go to the UK someday

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? my 13th bday party when my mom got all of my friends together to surprise me 🥺

heels or flats/sneakers? converse baby

vintage or new? new. i’m not trendy or skinny enough to pull off vintage anything

who do you want to write your obituary? anyone except my mother

style icon? when dua lipa went through that phase of wearing sweatpants and bras onstage....yeah i vibe w/ that

what are three things you cannot live without? music, my hydroflask, and my electric blanket

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? GARLIC

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? listen...i really just wanna hang out with dan smith. also niall from 1d. and hm....maybe....ok this is a weird answer but marina keegan. she died at 22 after graduating from yale and her book literally changed my life

what’s your biggest fear in life? love & intimacy oop

window or aisle seat? window

what’s your current tv obsession? too hot to handle is the funniest thing i’ve ever seen

favorite app? rn i’m using discord a lot. also instagram

secret talent? i know every word to every cover the glee cast ever did

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? studying abroad in ecuador!

how would you define yourself in three words? positive, introverted, and....and.....maybe simple? (in the sense that i’m ok with just living a life without fancy things or huge ambitions)

favorite piece of clothing you own? my fuzzy north face fleece jacket!

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? buy yourself a good rain jacket pls just do it

a superpower you would want? being an empath would be cool

what’s inspiring you in life right now? my friends!!! i have so many ppl to talk to rn and staying connected with them is really keeping me going

best piece of advice you’ve received? everything works out in the end, don’t stress about what you can’t control

best advice you’d give your teenage self? just tell ppl you aren’t straight it really isn’t a big deal

a book everyone should read? out east by john glynn

what would you like to be remembered for? loving my friends and writing some stuff that maybe impacted a few ppl

how do you define beauty? kindness! openness!

what do you love most about your body? my smile i guess?

best way to take a rest/decompress? listening to music, wasting time on the internet

favorite place to view art? ....online?

if your life was a song, what would the title be? Avoiding Intimacy 

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? guitar

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? i’ve been thinking about this lately. probably on the inside of my arm somewhere?

dolphins or koalas? DOLPHINS (are fish! no they aren’t. yeah they are. just cuz they live in water doesn’t mean they’re fish!)

what’s your spirit animal? penguin

best gift you’ve ever received? my boss surprising me with those brownies yesterday was pretty cool

best gift you’ve given? i made my best friend in college this little jar full of our inside jokes written on little slips of paper. i thought it was pretty cute

what’s your favorite board game? rummikub, life, cards against humanity

what’s your favorite color? yellow

least favorite color? brown

diamond or pearls? diamonds

drugstore makeup or designer? drugstore

blow-dry or air-dry? blowdry (with a diffuser of course)

pilates or yoga? neither wtf do i look like a flexible person to u

coffee or tea? coffee

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? my roommates and i were playing that avocado smash game a few nights ago and now the word ‘avocado’ will never sound correct ever again

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? dark chocolate

stairs or elevators? elevators (i’m lazy)

summer or winter? summer!

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? BAGELS

a dessert you don’t like? anything with a jelly or creamy/custardy filling

a skill you’re working on mastering? playing the guitar

best thing to happen to you today? my interview went really well!!!

worst thing to happen to you today? i had like three crazy stress dreams about said interview so i was exhausted all day lol

best compliment you’ve ever received? ‘your smile just lights up a room’ 🤧

favorite smell? vanilla

hugs or kisses? I WUV HUGZ

if you made a documentary, would it be about? how the portrayal of sex in modern pop culture affects our views of love and romance and intimacy in negative and unrealistic ways!!!!

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? bitch every livestream dan bastille does makes me tear up

lipstick or lipgloss? the only correct answer is CHAPSTICK

sweet or savory? sweet

girl crush? dua lipa and it’s not a girl crush i full on fuckin LOVE HER

how do you know you’re in love? don’t ask me this

a song you can listen to on repeat? anything by bastille

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? would love to be a cat just chillin on the ground someday

what are you most excited for about this time in your life? normally i’d say all the concerts i have coming up lmao screw you corona

[maiuoart]

Depressed Human.

Today... Was a difficult day.

The whole day, you slumped with a large weight on your chest. It dragged you down, dragged you til you felt like crawling. But you continued onward, had to, needed to.

Today was a day you wish never came, but it came nonetheless. The amount of pain it produced caused your heart to cave into itself, your brain fogging with nonsense, and your ability to process anything dwindled to nothing. 

You didn’t desire to talk to any of your friends, to do your hobbies, work even took a large tool on your shoulders. Though you could crack a genuine smile at your favorite pictures, it only lasted for seconds before you felt like breaking.

For once in your life, you didn’t have the Passion to hold anything. Forced your movements with a fake smile and hoping no one would ask about anything.

It was only until after you were face to face with a familiar tall Skeleton monster, did you feel your mask start to crumble.

“Hey, Russ... How’re you doin’?” Trying to muster as much cheer as you could, you smiled tiredly up at the being.

“s’good, jus’ headin’ out fer a bite...” He motioned in the direction with a soft grin on his fangs. “wanna join?”

Normally you would tag along, listen to his stories of whatever had happened during the day.

“No, thanks... Not into paying your tab for you.” You joked softly, forcing a soft chuckle out. 

All you wanted to do was get into your comfortable bed, curl up with some music, maybe have a few drinks to swallow your pity, and sleep.

Russ simply stared at you with a quirked brow raised, a normal flirty smirk on his fangs absent as he narrowed his sights on you.

“ya sure, Darlin’? got a nice, silly story tha’ might make ya crack a perty smile.” He tried to bargain with you, a natural bribe that would work...

...If you hadn’t had just lost someone close to you.

“I’m sure, Russ... You tell the sweethearts I say hey, alright? I’m-... Just going to chill for a while.” You stuck your hands into your pockets with a grin you hoped was teasing. “Any new ladies there, you hit on them twice as hard so I can hear ‘em swoon from here, huh?”

Due to being in the relationship you were in, you had always found it absolutely hilarious that Papyrus, the Hounddog, could always talk his way into anyones lives. Flirtatious ways or not, he was a smooth talker. 

It was more hilarious when his flirtatious ass got ahold of a very clingy fangirl... You’ve had to chase a few away for him, but he would never learn his lesson. Then it became a game, see how many he could get into a Fanclub about him at the bar...

To say that more than half the city was involved should say something.

With only knowing him for a few months, it was quite amazing how a Monster could do that. It never could work on you, you were as stubborn as a mule when it came to your relationship... Thankfully he backed off of you when telling him that, because he had became someone trustworthy to talk to when you had no one else... He was a good friend.

“oi, no promises... bu’ it’d be twice as good if ya had th’front row to it, huh? ‘sides, got th’whole silly shit on cam...” He took his phone out and wiggled it. “’n don’ say ‘send it’ to ya, cause i need, absolutely fuckin’ need, ta see tha’ face of yers in real time morph.”

“Another time, huh?” You smiled, feeling your heart give a hard stutter that time.

You were getting close before braking, you needed to get home.

Russ gave you a once over, before he gave you a pat on the top of your head. 

“allright... bu’ ya need me, ‘m jus’ a call away, huh?”

“We’re neighbors, Russ... You’re more than a few feet away.” You huffed, amused.

Even if you were trying to hide your cracking voice behind what was left of your facade.

“fair ‘nough, Darlin’.” He shrugged. “catch ya later, huh?”

“Yeah. Later, Papyrus.”

You both walked opposite ways... Running in your case. 

------------------------

It was about 9pm and you were nursing your second drink with your favorite soda and alcohol. You added extra, but the first one you skipped from buzzed to straight up tipsy.

Thats what you get for not eating...

Looking to your cell phone as you sat at your desk, you saw a few missed messaged. Grabbing the accursed item, turning it to silent, you tossed it to your bed with an annoyed huff. No one needed to know about you, no one needed to poke their nosey little noses into your world while you’re breaking! 

You watched youtube, smiling and laughing at your favorite Let’s Players with their friends, watching adorable videos of random baby animals, and any other video that would take your mind off of anything.

The whole time, your face was red, wet, and eyes stung. By your third mix drink, you didn’t know if it was due to laughing so hard at someone tripping and falling down the stairs or you were legit crying at what today was.

After so long, after such a painful decision on your part; Your patiences had run thin, your heart broke for the last time, and the darkness in the room felt so ungodly welcoming; You were done. 

You broke from the simplest thought; ‘I’ll never love again.’ 

You felt your chest shake with a sob as you felt the hole in your heart becoming larger.

A knock on your door made your uncontrollable fits of wheezing and sobbing quiet down, covering your mouth as to silence your lost self. 

You were in an apartment... Perhaps you had become too loud? They would just simply say something off a warning, wouldn’t they? 

...You don’t care.

Turning your laptop off, you crawled into your bed and covered up, leaving the rest of your mix abandoned. You’ll muffle your noises with the pillow from now, your heart pulsing in pain as you whimpered quietly under your sheets. Hoping to whatever Gods above the person would just talk and leave you alone. 

When the knocking stopped, you gave a shaky sigh of relief. Grabbing your phone, you were determined to see what everyone wanted... But your mind was distorted, you could barely type in your passcode correctly.

...Maybe you made your mix drinks a bit too strong... 

Never were a good drinker, anyways. The only reason was to allow yourself to focus on certain things, to relax after a hard day, or just purely to become silly. You were a good drunk, a silly drunk, kind that enjoyed to have fun. 

It would only be if your mind went into the darkness that you could fall quickly to being a sad one... But you had a good control on your emotions. 

Couldn’t down them like others you knew. Couldn’t still function like Papyrus when he could down about 10 strong monster ones. 

That had to have been more magic... Could that liquid even effect him? Oh my god, what if he just pulled a show and had some sort of bucket or something inside his clothing to catch all the liquid!? 

No wonder he could outdrink so many people! Had to be a cheater... 

You found yourself chuckling at the memory, only to rub your eyes to dry them. Everything sucked... Why did you drink again? To swallow your pity? If anything, it was making you feel worse... 

“Emotions suck, man...” You groaned into your pillow, hugging it hard as you tried to stop another onslaught of sobs from why you were drinking.

“i’d say, ya had me worried, Darlin’.” A husky voice startled you, making you yelp and jump. 

Sitting up, your turned your head to view a fuzzy Papyrus standing in your room, wearing a black turtleneck with dark jeans, his chains jingling softly as he walked over. 

“Paps-... Wha-” You narrowed your dizzy vision, the room spinning from getting up too fast. 

“somethin’ was goin’ on outside, some rooms were kicked in. a bit of anti-monsta humans apparently rushed inta th’partment buildin’, lookin’ ta fight... uh, s’i called ya, hopin ya weren’t-... well, hurt.” He sat at the edge of the bed, his weight barely registering to you as you sat on your knees. “when ya didn’ answer, i uh-... heh, came as fast as i could...”

“Th’fuck... Hooman jerks?” You slurred. “I uh... Been in m’room th’ whole time, doode. Didn’t ‘ear nuthin’. Well, cept a few knockins’... bu’ they stopped.” 

“yeah?... tha’s good.” He sighed, but looked confused about something.

Your eyes narrowed before you pointed accusingly at him, wanting to call him out on his drinking bullshit before you forgot!

“Cheat!”

Papyrus gave a disbelief look in his sockets as he watched your face, then huffed with amusement. “...you drunk, Kitten?”

Your cheeked puffed and you pointed right back at him again. 

“Don’ change subject... Ya cheat!”

“okay, okay... th’fuck did i cheat in, Sugah?” He purred, poking your pointed finger with his own as his fangs turned upward in a smirk.

“Drinkin’, ya cheat everyone in drinkin’!...” You playfully swiped his hand away, your scowl quickly erased by your smile. “Bet ya had a bucket inside yer body t’catch the stuff, huh!?” Your eyes went down to his midsection, curious if you could get a hint of a form of a bucket or anything.

You slumped, not seeing one.

Papyrus began to laugh, his voice ringing like bells to your otherwise ringing head.

“oh, noooo... how’ja catch me? thou’t I had m’game all covered, not a lick spillin’ of m’secrets...” He cooed, leaning back on the bed with his smile.

“Just makes sense, I’m onta yooh!” You smiled cheekily, only to blink and rub your eyes, traces of wet tracks still on your face. “Fook, why you here ‘gain?”

Papyrus didn’t answer.

“Paps?”

“y’know... ya never call me Papyrus or Paps unless yer really under some type’a stress.” 

You bit your lip, looking down at your pillow as a hand grabbed your blanket. 

“S-...sowrries.” You grumbled, playing with your sheets. “T’day wasn’t good, didn’ want company...”

“mmm... welp...” His weight lifted from your bed, and you were hoping he would just do his disappearing act to leave you. 

Leave, just like many others.

...Oh god, don’t you start-

He picked you up swiftly, bundling you up in your comforters as you squirmed to protest, but his arms were too quick for you to push off.

“H-heeeh?! P-Paps, th’fuck--” “yer adorable as fuck bein’ drunk, now i see why ya didn’ wanna try ta outdrink me, Darlin.” Papyrus gave you a mocked cradle rock, making you growl but it was lost to a soft laugh as his fingers wiggled into your side from the blanket, making you squeak from the sudden tickling. “such a babe.”

“I swears t’god, if ya weren’t m’friend, I would smack you!” You squirmed again, trying hard to undo the blasted blankets to make your point to free your arms.

“mmmmm... ya could try, bu’ ya couldn’ hit me, even if ya were sober.” He chuckled at your attempt, walking you out of your room and somewhere else. “‘sides, ya seem to be a bit-... bundled up, Kitten.”

“S’no fair! An’ s’no fair you can pick me up! I can pick ya up, too, y’know!” You began to succumb to his holdings, feeling oddly soft the more he held onto you.

“oh, m’so sure ya can... always an Alley cat, tryna prove yer point.” He once more gave you a rock. “bu’, lemme baby you a bit, huh?”

Your brows furrowed as you glanced at him. “Why? I ain’t blubberin’ er nuthin’...” You sulked into the cocoon blanket, forcing the blankets hood up over your head as you glared at him.

What was he up to? 

“nah, thats where yer wrong.” He said, pointing at your chest with his free hand. “can hear yer fuckin’ Soul thrummin’ like a damn siren. if ya can gain my attention, then yer’ll gain otha’s. ‘n trust me, Kitten, a monsta would love ta fuckin’ eat ya up.” He sounded serious, dangerously so.

You stilled in his grasp, your eyes going wide.

“Y-you-... You gunna-” “ya want me ta?” Papyrus gave you a large cheshire grin, and your face instantly flushed more than any alcohol you drank during the night.

“i’d rather gobble ya up than hear some otha monsta did it... heh, ya jus’ too damn cute, Kitten.” He came close and nuzzled into your temple, hosting you up into his arms a bit tighter.

...You were trying so hard to bury your face into the blanket, trying to get away from his cooings and nuzzling, you just seemed to have become lost in a dark tunnel. 

Only Papyrus deep chuckle made you peek from having your eyes closed shut tight.

“Kitten, i’m jus’ jokin’... c’mon, i’d rather beat th’fuckers up who try ta eat cha... i mean, yer taken, right? gotta protect-”

....Oh... That did it.

----------------

Papyrus had taken you to his own apartment, into his room as your sniffling was settling down. You hiccuped and managed to squirm your hands up and over your eyes, covering your face as you whimpered softly as you could, but no doubt looked a mess. You curled into the blanket harder as Papyrus seemed to have sat down, sitting you down in his lap.

His arms were wrapping around you securely, a boney hand coming up and gently running down your hair in a means to soothe you, his jaw against your head.

“oi, s’okay... i’m sorri’, Darlin’... i didn’t-” “N-no... S’okay, like ya knew, ya damn dork...” You choked, a dry laugh coming out as it was replaced by a hiccup. “... m’sorry”

“what’re ya sorri fer? th’fuck? nah, don’ say that.” He chided you gently, running his hands over your scalp. “ya wanna talk ‘bout it?”

Talking would feel good...

You leaned into his touch, his hold, curling up more as you hid your face down into his shoulder, a hand grabbing his sweater as you hiccuped once again.

“N-...no... Not now-” You whimpered as your chest gave another hard twist, making you twitch and push against him more.

God, it hurts... It hurts so much! Why?! Why does it-

“...ya were bonded, Kitten...”

That made you come out of your thoughts. Scrunching up your face, you looked up to Papyrus. “Bonded?... Like-... Like Soul bond?”

“yup... ya were Soulbonded ta yer-... well. ta ‘em.”

“...But-... How? We weren’t-” “Soulbonded is different than yer regula human customs.” Papyrus tucked your hair behind your ear, leaning back as he rubbed soothing circles on your back. 

“when ya Soulbond, it’s-... it’s confusin’ really... plenty of different types, lemme say... bu’ wha’ yer dealin’ wit’-... it’s a type dealin’ wit’ Mates, the best kinds. if ya feelin’ strong feelin’s fer one ‘notha, ya can create a Soulbond, even if ya were far away from th’otha.” He softly sighs, digging into his pocket for a smoke. “it jus’ takes one visit, fuck; one phone call, ta cause yerself ta Soulbond wit’ ‘notha human... s’easy, unlike wha’ monsta’s gotta do.”

After lighting it up and taking a drag, he continued. “Soulbond fer any of ‘em hurts, bu’ what really hurts is when ya separate th’metaphorical string tha’ ties a couple together. siblin’ bonds can be tied, broken, and retied like how Sans ‘n i have... cause we’re stuck wit’ one anotha, we’ll always care fer th’otha. bu’ Mates?... oi, tha’ shit can be dangerous.”

“...Dangerous?” You parroted.

“mhm... when ya love someone, truly adore someone, yer tied. bu’, if they don’ love ya back or someone cuts th’strings, it can hurt so bad, some monsta’s have Fallen Down from it.” He took another deep inhale of his smoke, blowing it out as it danced and took your attention with some more than questionable cloud shapes.

As if they were beginning to tell a story within the smoke.

“ya see... i neva tried any deeper fer ya cause i could see how thick yer string was wrapped wit’ someone else’s was. s’was tied, like a lil’ ribbon wit’ a bow. whoever ya loved had loved ya back jus’ as much... them strings, there?” He pointed to the colorful threads beginning to form. “when their a certain type of thickness, they can be pretty hard ta break. so, th’thicker th’connection, the harder it is fer someone t’come along ‘n break it.”

You choked on a sob when images danced in the smoke, imagines you knew that were you and the one you broke up with, the beautiful strings of both color traits entangling the other almost lovingly.

“means tha’ ya both protect th’otha. when a monsta sees that, pretty much ya ain’ gunna be fucked wit’. our kind respects such a sight, ‘n it kinda makes more than some of us sick ta our Souls. s’was rare in th’Underground... thou’, wit’cha hurtin’ and yer Soul wailin’ as it is, wit’ the string cut ‘n th’Mates string slowly evaporating... well, yer gunna be attractin’ a lot of attention.”

The smoke began to darken, lighter orbs of pairs shown up in the darkness surrounding the two, looking as if they were eyes staring as the two figures separated. Your jaw was clenching, and your heart was wailing to not leave the other.

But it was already going, already done, the strings between the two dissolving as if a bridge was being burned between the two.

“a monsta is made up of Love, Hope, n’ Compassion.” Papyrus waved a bony hand through the smoke, separating one of the figures and waving the other side away. “bu’ the problem wit’ us is tha’ we’ve turned... we’re corrupted, so we got a few screws loose... n’ when a Soul is wailin’, it makes a creature-... well, thirst fer th’ corruption of ones Soul. we desire ta take ahold of it, cause it’s in a vulnerable state of mind tha’ some can’t help but-”

Papyrus’ hand began to curl around the now curled figure, who seemed to be sobbing on the ground, his finger traced over the silhouette and you felt your whole back shutter with something unknown. 

“-want ‘em fer their own.”

Once his hand came around, you suppressed a yelp as it felt your whole body was feeling as if it was being wrapped around. Your heart was stuttering in your chest, your glare moved to Papyrus who was looking at the smoke with an unreadable emotion.

“...they’ll come ‘n ‘gobble ya up’... y’know what i’m sayin’?” His expression softened as he turned his face down to you, the feeling of being squeezed left as his hand rested on your knees. 

You could feel yourself shake under the blankets, new sets of tears on their way as you tried to process what he was saying.

“So... Vulnerable Souls attract-... Monsters, cause they like the Lost?...” Your shaking was speeding up, gulping thickly. “Th-they-”

“whoa, whoa.. calm down, Darlin’. i ain’ gunna hurt’cha.” He chuckled softly, the noise helping ease you.

But not entirely.

“yah, monsta’s will come ‘n try ta gain ya under their arms. they crave that, ‘n some will hurt th’humans worse afta they get what they want, maybe do it ta keep ‘em. bu’ some...”

Papyrus began to undo the blanket from your shoulder, shifting you to sit up right as the blanket fell from your shoulders. He cupped your tear tracked face, looking into your eyes with such intensity that it made you forget your heart turning in pain for a moment.

“some of us... wanna heal more than harm...” He softly whispered, bring you into him softly. “not all monsta’s are crazy... i gotta say some would wanna cage ya up, trap ya in their area, go fuckin’ psycho... bu’, i’d rather... heal ya, Angel.” He softly breathed against your lips, his thumb brushing against your cheek as it wiped away some tears in its wake.

“B-but... That-... Heal how?...” You managed to ask, pulling away slightly as he tried to lean more into you.

Papyrus’ eyes flashed with something that was too quick for you to catch, but his hand came down and gently hovered over your chest, where your heart was twisting with pain and felt as if it would explode.

“heal... yer Soul tha’s singin’ such a sad, sad song, Angel... ‘n out of all th’ monsta’s from Underground... i’m th’one ya need ta help heal ya th’best...” He purred softly. 

You squirmed a bit, trying to pull the blanket back up, but his other hand rested gently on your side, a soft shutter rolling through your body as a gentle pulse of heat began to cover your body. 

...You didn’t realize you were sighing in relief as Papyrus pressed his bony palm against your heart. The warmth surrounded you like a blanket, what felt like flames nipping the bottom of your heart was racing away the harmful knives, making you take a deeper breath.

“O-oh... Lord, Russ?...” You tried, bringing your hand up and gently grabbing ahold of his wrist. “R-russ, what’re-”

“ya feel th’heat, Darlin’?...” When did his skull get beside your ear? “tha’s jus’ how m’magic is... allow it ta wrap ya up, i gotcha... s’allright...” He was talking so gently...

You felt your mind becoming foggy, your body relaxing back into that hold of his that was becoming a quick comfort. 

Nuzzling into his vertebrae, you sighed in relief once more as you felt his overwhelming magic softly enwrap you more... And more... It was becoming too warm, but for right now-...

You didn’t care.

He was making your heart stop hurting, could feel some sort of humming coming from the contact of his bones that synced with his magic pulsing through you like harmony. It was beautiful, could feel every single part of your body that had the slightest bit of pain, throb ever so slightly before it vanished under his touch.

Then, you felt tired.

So tired.

You drifted off in the comforts of bones, clinging onto him like a lifeline. 

-------------------

The next day, you woke up in the same bony arms wrapped securely around you. You were in a different room, the curtains were blacked out as you shifted. Your head didn’t even hurt from what you drank, and you glanced down to your chest where you felt a weight. 

A smile escaped your lips as Papyrus was laying right on top of you, his skull rested just above your heart. It had a small stifle of pain, but it was quickly chased away by something warm...

It was chased away with Russ’ magic.

Gently, you rubbed his skull. He moved a bit, but otherwise stayed fast asleep on you. You gave a soft chuckle and decided to fall back to sleep with him.

Today... Was going to be a better day.

Couldn’t wait to see what Russ wanted to show you, either.

[tabithacarlisle]

*OFF THE RECORD : Part 10.1

.......

by jo ( @tabithacarlisle ;)

*Catch up on OFF THE RECORD’s previous chapters Parts 1-9 here at the OTR MASTERLIST

Word count: 5167

OTR Part 10 Notes & Warnings: Pixelberry Studios owns these characters, not me! I just have fun playing with them :)

Notes: This chapter because of the length & scope needed to be split into 2 parts.

*OTR Part 10.2 is still in the works, thanks for being so patient! ;)

Warnings: This will be 18+ NS*W, !, erotica, polyamory, marital angst, discussions of group sex, recreational [legal]drug use, swearing,

If you click ‘Keep Reading’ you are acknowledging that you are 18+

*OTR Part 10.1

……….

“We’re here!! Max, take the road to the left of the gates. Ellis will let us in the back way to the cabin.”

“I’m so excited babe, I can’t wait to see it.”

Once past the security gates, Maxwell drove his Jag (a new purchase from his book advance earnings) down the newly paved road to the far end of the Valtoria estate.

“I know, I’ve only seen it in pictures so far and whenever Drake has FaceTime’d me when he had to come here for the building inspections. It’s going to be so perfect for the four of us! I can’t wait to show it to you in person!”

He parked in the side driveway and turning the ignition off, pivoted off the side of the driver’s seat and winced. “ohh. Almost forgot that was there” Maxwell brushed his hand lightly against something hidden underneath his shirt.

“Max, are you sure you’re ok with these new rules of Bastien’s? I know you don’t like guns.”

“You’re right. I don’t. Hate ‘em, in fact. Don’t get me wrong, I love swords and daggers and crossbows, mostly for their awesome champagne cork-popping potential. But firearms make me nervous, even after all those weeks of training I had to go through to be able to travel alone with you.”

“I know, Bastien made it so Drake has to carry one when he travels alone with Liam, too.”

“Y’know, the target practice training with Mara and Bash was actually pretty fun. But three full weeks of studying all of those security protocol books was really stressful. It made me feel like I was back at University again, and not the fun parts of University with the coed parties. Plus, reading through all of those scary possible scenarios was really…intense…”

“Maxwell, I know you said you’d do this for me, but if you’re ever uncomfortable with the responsibility just let me know, please? We can always ask one of the royal guards to escort us on our trips. I don’t want you to ever feel like I’m forcing you to do this.”

“I don’t. Tabitha, I love you so much. I would never let anything happen to you if I could help it. And if I have to get all ‘John Wick’ on some assassin’s ass to protect you and our ba—I mean your baby…”

Tabitha squeezed his hand. “It’s okay.” she whispered,  “You can say it to me, babe.”

“Well, statistically speaking, the chances that the baby’s mine are pretty low…”

“That doesn’t matter. You are going to be the most wonderful ‘Uncle Max.’ The best. And your little niece or nephew is going to be so blessed to have you in their life every day. I know I’m blessed to have you every day.” She beamed at him with eyes sparkling with tears.

Maxwell blushed. He squeezed her hand back and sighed, carefully patting the hidden SIG Sauer pistol holstered under his shirt. “Anyways… I’m looking forward to locking this thing up in the safe when we get inside.”

“I know, right? Inside our very own private cabin!! Look! There’s Drake and Liam on the porch!”

She walked carefully up the wood porch stairs; Maxwell followed behind her pulling their suitcases. Liam and Drake were outside busying themselves staining the wood porch deck that surrounded the cabin.

“Hey boys! We made it! Ooh, you both are looking sexy working hard out here in the sun with your shirts off. Mama likes. Need any help?” She tilted her sunglasses down the bridge of her nose and raised her eyebrows suggestively at them. Drake looked up, beaming at her with a big goofy grin, looking like he was about ready to hand her a paintbrush, anxious to get her involved. Liam, on the other hand chuckled dismissively, shaking his head. He paused to wipe sweat from his brow and lean over the deck railing as he replied,

“Thank you, love, but… I’m afraid that’s not the best idea. Even outdoors, the chemical fumes from the deck stain might be harmful for the baby. You should go ahead, unpack, and relax indoors.”

She shrugged, “Okay, if you insist?”

“I do.”

Liam wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders and bent down to kiss her sweetly. Tabitha got up on tiptoes to kiss him back, then turned ‘round to grab Maxwell by the hand.

“C’mon, Max! I want to show you your room.”

She went inside with Maxwell trailing behind her, whereupon he found himself denied entry as Drake braced his bare muscled arm flexing in front of the door frame.

“Slow your roll there, Beaumont. You aren’t pregnant. So go on, pick up a brush and get to work.”

“Nah, I’d better go in with her. Y’know? ‘Queen’s Retinue’ duties and all that...” Maxwell shrugged, smirking before he pushed Drake’s arm aside. “Have fun, fellas!”

Drake seethed as he watched them go in, muttering under his breath,

“Lazy-ass motherfu—“

Liam grabbed his shoulder to hold him back, scolding, “Drake, we promised we’d be civil out here, for Tabitha’s sake. ‘Circle of Trust’ Remember?”

They both watched them through the window and heard Tabitha squeal as Maxwell picked her up and carried her bridal-style up the stairs.

“Look at ‘em, Lee. Fuckin’ ‘Romeo & Juliet’ in there...”

“She needs him now. And I need you...”

Liam came up closer from behind and slipped his hands into Drake’s front jean pockets as he bent his head to kiss the side of his neck. Drake reached his hand around to cup the backside of Liam’s head, threading his fingers through Liam’s hair and arching his back into him, closing his eyes as he let out a low moan. Liam finished his sentence in a low whisper at Drake’s ear, before he playfully nipped it with his teeth.

“...to finish helping me stain this deck.”

“Ughh, fine. You win.”

“I always do.”

He slapped Drake’s ass, causing both of them to laugh as they went back to work.

...

Tabitha woke up from her nap in her room to the sounds of Maxwell and Liam laughing outside. She rolled gingerly off the bed and peered out the window, smiling. They had turned the riverbank into a makeshift driving range, hitting golf balls off of the dock. Tabitha felt utterly content and at peace at sight of the two of them having fun and enjoying each other’s company and it warmed her from within. The sharp kick she felt when she stood up startled her, and she held her belly as she spoke to it, “That’s right, baby. That’s your father down there…” The uncertainty of paternity that once seemed like it would be a cloud over all of their lives, here, all together where they could be together without expectations and restrictions, felt like a non-issue. It didn’t matter, because everyone who mattered to her was here with her, exactly how she wanted it to be. She went downstairs to go watch the boys' outdoor activities up closer.

Drake was on the porch, standing by the railing. He wasn’t watching the other two gentlemen as they horsed around by the river. Golf wasn’t his thing. He was facing the mountain range just beyond the cottage grounds seemingly lost in thought. He held an ornate looking brown beer bottle as he stood and took a swig. Tabitha approached him.

“That looks good.”

“Oh this? Yeah, it is. It’s a small batch Belgian Lambic I picked up at the bottle shop on the way over. Hazy, not too fruity, which is how I like it. It’s got a nice, rounded malt mouth feel to it though.”

“You’re making my mouth water. I can’t wait‘till this baby comes and I can finally drink beer again.”

Drake grinned and took another drink without breaking eye contact. Nothing sexier than a hot chick who can drink with the guys. She’s perfect. As an idea crossed his mind his eyes darted around towards the river, then back to her with a conspiratorial smirk.

“...I could… give you a sip. I won’t tell Liam.”

“I shouldn’t...”

“Why not?” he whispered back “Women around here drink in moderation when they’re pregnant. Hell, all of our moms probably did, and we turned out just fine. It’s Lee who’s gotten all paranoid after reading one too many American books on pregnancy to get ready for the baby. I don’t think one sip is going to hurt anyone.”

“Shhh...” She looked around to make sure Liam and Maxwell weren’t watching. “Ok give it here, quick before I change my mind.”

Tabitha took a swig from the bottle, and it was every bit as flavorful and complex as Drake had made it out to be.

“Mmmmm! that is good!”

“I told you.” His arms crossed over his broad chest satisfied at this small victory in their little secret. Drake was staring at her in awe as she took one last sip. A wide grin crinkled the corners of his eyes.

“What are you smiling about?” she asked

He hooked his thumbs in his pockets and leaned in towards her.

“I’m just so… so goddamned happy.”

Drake set the bottle down on the porch rail and beamed at Tabitha, clasping her shoulders and rubbing in affectionate circles as he beamed from ear to ear.

“We did it, Carlisle. This is what we’ve been talking about since, god... since we first hooked up, right? You and me, and Liam. We’re actually doing this crazy thing tonight. I never, ever thought we’d be able to convince him, but I should never have doubted you. You just have this way of bringing people together. Carlisle, I lo—“ his voice trailed off and his smile faltered for just a moment as he weighed the meaning of the words he was about to say,

“What?”

Drake’s expression became reverent. “I love you, Carlisle... Tabitha, I love you.” he spoke with such gentleness it was almost whispered. His hand stroked up the base of her neck and cupped the back of her head underneath her hair, pressing gently against the sensitive spot just under her ear, causing her breath to stutter.

“Drake...”

He smiled as his eyes searched hers, cupping her face in his warm hands, “What? Is it that much of a surprise to you?”

“No, I know you do. It’s just so nice to hear you admit it to me, finally.” Her arms snaked around the small of his back, “I love you too, Drake. So damned much.”

He pulled her by her hips to press against his own, then skimmed the back of his knuckles against her cheekbone as she closed her eyes and inhaled, savoring his touch in the charged moment they were sharing. “Well, I think that means I’m going to have to kiss you now.”

Tabitha opened her eyes again with a wry grin up at him, “You’d better.”

Drake wrapped his arms around her and looked animatedly over his shoulder as if to check to see if either of their lovers were watching them, “Nah, I don’t care who sees us anymore.”

Tabitha had just a short moment to get lost in the heated stare of longing in Drake’s eyes before they closed, half lidded, and his lips found hers, fitting together before she skimmed his bottom lip with the tip of her tongue to coax it open. It had been so long, too long, since Drake had allowed himself to kiss her like this: sure of his love for her, and sure of Liam’s blessing in this place of refuge they had created & built for this very purpose. Her knees went weak just as his arms braced around her torso and they melted into each other, breathless, desperate and hungry for touch. And all too soon, their embrace was interrupted.

“Oi! Cut that out!” Maxwell came bounding to them up the back-porch stairs, possessively pulling Tabitha’s torso away from Drake and tickled her as he playfully kissed the side of her neck. “Tabz! I’m here to save you from this random vagrant! He looked like he was about to devour your face off!”

“Maxwell! stahp!” She protested through fits of giggles. “You’re incorrigible.”

Maxwell’s arms wrapped round her with his fingers laced together under her belly from behind, and he bent down, resting his chin on her shoulder as he rocked her, gloating to his old friend. “Sorry, Drake. You know how it is. ‘Queen’s Retinue’ duties and all of that.”

“I know where I’d like you to shove your ‘Queen’s Retinue duties’ right now...”

Maxwell stepped in front of Tabitha scowling, momentarily emboldened by Drake’s challenge, “Fight me.”

Tabitha pulled back on Maxwell’s shirt collar to no avail “Max, please. This is ridiculous. Stop.”

Drake cracked his knuckles in fists at his sides.

“You asked for it...”

It took Maxwell all of 30 seconds after he challenged Drake for him to regret it. “Wait! No, don’t! seriously? Liam just asked me to bring you two inside for lunch. And we have to make it ourselves since you both insisted there should be no staff working on site while we’re here! Ha! Great idea, guys.” Maxwell put his thumbs up as his voice dripped with sarcasm.

“No staff means no outside witnesses when I decide to wipe that smirk off your face.”

“Um... How about we wait ‘till after lunch?”

..........

The crew of four had lunch and spent the remainder of the day relaxing at the cabin. Four o’clock came around, and Tabitha rose to her feet. “All right boys, I’m going to go take a nice hot shower, maybe a soak in the tub first, then a shower, and get myself ready. For tonight. For us.” She stood up and winked, and they all stood up to bid her farewell.

She went to Liam first, he wrapped her in his arms and kissed the top of her head before hooking a finger under her chin to tilt her head up to him. Her blue eyes sparkled at him, smiling crinkled the corners. “God you’re beautiful. I look forward to meeting with you again, soon, my love.”

“Liam” she whispered, “darling, I love you. So much. I’m so happy. Thank you, for everything. I want you to have fun with the boys relaxing tonight, ok? It’ll help your nerves. “ She could feel his hands trembling slightly as he cupped her face.

“Right, I know you’re right. You always are.” He bent down as she raised herself on tiptoes to kiss her softly on the lips, letting the kiss linger and open softly, grazing her tongue lightly with his before he pulled back and clasped her shoulders. “I love you too,”

Tabitha squeezed Liam’s hand before she let it drop as she moved to Drake, reaching for his hand hooked in his jean belt loops. “Drake, this house, this moment, everything, it’s perfect. None of this wouldn’t have been possible without you. Thank you.”

Drake wrapped her in a strong bear hug, pulling her tightly to his chest as he kissed her head and whispered in her ear, “I think you have that wrong. You’re the reason we’re all here. You made this happen. It’s your magic that set everything in motion.”

“So, a team effort then?” She smirked and winked at him, making Drake weak in the knees. He pulled her in for one last embrace before she pulled away, saving her Max for last.

Maxwell and Tabitha reached out for each other’s hands. He pulled her to him, and their hips met as flush as they could get with a nearly five-month pregnant belly separating them both. His hands took hers and rolled her arms in a dance and he met her gaze with raised brows, “Do you need any help drawing your bath? Or getting anything else in the room ready? I’m happy to help.”

“You are too good to me Max, no, I’ll be fine. These two will need you to get them relaxed. You brought the good stuff right?”

“You know it, I’ve got that under control.”

“If you’re sure then…” Maxwell kissed her hand and twirled her, giddy under his arms as her body curled up against his back. He bent down and caught her top lip in his before her mouth opened and his sighed into her. She pulled away reluctantly and dragged her hand down his arm before she squeezed his hands one last time.

“Ok. Have fun boys, and behave.  I love you all. And remember,” she laced her fingers together as she turned around one last time before heading to the master bedroom “Circle of Trust!” Her shoulders fell as she sighed audibly one last time before turning on her heels and heading towards the master suite.

……….

“It’s not working.”

“No, see… you have to click it five times fast, like this.”

Liam inhaled deeply, he never liked the smell or taste of marijuana and the sooner he got high enough to not care about either of those things, the better.

His hand holding the vape pen fell to rest on the white Turkish cotton spa towel covering his knees while the smoke billowed out of his mouth and nostrils as he spoke.

“I don’t feel anything yet.”

Maxwell clucked his tongue as he helped himself to the pen resting on Liam’s lap to take a hit. “Geez, don’t be such a noob. It doesn’t take effect the moment you start smoking. Give it a few minutes.” Maxwell leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes as he took a drag and blew it out in a large, dense cloud.

“Check out the expert over here.” Drake snatched the pen from Maxwell’s hand, took a long drag for himself and then passed it back to Liam. “It’s true though. Apparently you’ve had more experience at all of this than either of us.”

“Experience at what?”

“Party drugs... Group sex...”

“Well yeah, when you’ve been to the kind of parties I have, the orgies are pretty standard.”

Drake coughed purposefully to hi-light his mocking.

“‘standard’... ‘orgies?’”

“Well, yeah... I mean...”

Liam and Drake both stared at Maxwell pointedly, waiting for him to finish the thought. He was sweating profusely as he began to understand how the casual tone of the words falling out of his mouth must sound to them. ‘Circle of Trust’... shit...

“I always got tested regularly!”

Drake’s brow furrowed and he sneered at Maxwell, “You just used the past-tense.”

“That’s because I never...” Maxwell’s voice trailed off and he mumbled the rest, clearly too embarrassed to be speaking about such intimate issues in front of his two old friends.

“What was that, Beaumont?”

“I meant to say that I haven’t slept with anyone else since we met Tabitha. The last rager-party I went to where I hooked up with someone was before your first bachelor party, Liam, before we met Tabitha... and I haven’t...”

“You haven’t had sex with anyone else since we met Carlisle? I don’t believe it.”

“It’s true! I wouldn’t lie about that. I know what’s at stake.”

“I believe him.”

“Wait a damned minute, Maxwell. I remember seeing Tariq strutting out of your hotel room the night we met Carlisle in New York. You’re telling me that was ‘nothing’?”

“Exactly, because I turned him down. Nothing happened, swear to god.”

Drake turned towards Liam, “You believe him?”

Liam looked Maxwell square in the eye and could sense the sincerity he projected. “I do.”

Maxwell continued replying to Drake, “Just because someone walks outta your hotel room, doesn’t mean that you’ve hooked up with them. You should know that. With Tariq in particular. You were there the night he tried to assault Tabitha.” Maxwell could feel himself getting angrier. He stared pointedly at Drake, hoping he’d drop the matter, and if he didn’t, Maxwell had half a mind to bring up that time in Paris when he saw Drake leaving Kiara’s hotel room late at night. I’ll bring it up, right in front of Liam, too. I don’t care. Just try me.

Drake persisted,

“So why, then? Was it because you were hoping to hook up with Carlisle? Was that your plan all along when you decided to sponsor her?”

“Fuck… no! Stop trying to think you understand my motives. ‘Cause you clear as hell don’t.”

“Yeah, but I know you, Maxwell.”

“Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do. Tabitha, she changed me. When we were going through Social Season I saw her with you, Liam. The connection you guys had was magical. I don’t know a better way to describe it-- it still is, and I realized that’s what I wanted to find someday, too. So I decided I was going to stop partying and stop sleeping around. But I never dared to imagine that we’d all end up like...” Maxwell’s thought trailed off. This was a getting lot heavier than most subject matters he was used to discussing while getting high.

Liam could sense Maxwell’s discomfort and attempted to change the subject, as he himself started to feel too buzzed to discuss such pressing matters, “Look, what’s done is done. I harbor no ill feelings towards you, Maxwell. And you,”

He turned re-directing his comment at Drake before he finished the sentence,

“need to... fucking, relax...” Liam’s shoulders shrugged, and he started giggling with an uncharacteristically wide goofy grin. The smoke poured out of his mouth and nostrils as he passed the pen to Drake, putting his hand on the inside of Drake’s thigh so that it began to push up the towel covering his lap, his head bent towards him as he looked down at Drake’s lips.

“Damn, Lee. You’re so high right now.”

“I know how to get you to shut up.”

“Then fuckin’ do it.”

“Say it.”

“Say what?”

Liam growled, “You know…” His eyes flickered back and forth from Drake’s lips to his dilated pupils and back again as he leaned in closer with a hand on Drake’s lap. The towels covering them both fell as they angled their heads and leaned into each other

“Yes, sire…”

“Fuck…”

Liam lips captured Drakes and their tongues began to twist together. Drake groaned in Liam’s mouth as his arms wrapped around his shoulders and he dipped him down on the wood bench.

Maxwell’s vision seemed to get cloudier. Did someone put more water on the rocks? It suddenly felt stiflingly hot and overwhelming as the sauna seemed to shrink before his eyes. Was he just really high? Or was the act of watching two of his oldest friends making out in front of him turning him on more than he had anticipated it would do to him? Their hands were all over each other, moaning just a bit too loudly for Maxwell’s taste. He felt like he was intruding on their privacy.

“Um… hey, you guys?” he spoke in a whisper under his breath, thinking out loud… but Liam and Drake were too wrapped up in making out to hear him “What’s the saying? ‘If you can’t join ’em… beat it?’ Heh-heh…”

Maxwell clicked the vape pen five times fast to start it up again and closed his eyes while blowing out the smoke out his nostrils as his hand reached down for his dick, already nearly erect at half-mast. His thoughts took him back to the shower in the Royal Chambers with Tabitha, how she rode him so slowly it made him ache. He remembered how the water droplets raced down her breasts as they bounced against his chest, how smooth her back was as he held her, the soft sounds she made as she neared climax…

“Bloody hell, Maxwell?! where have you been hiding... that—?”

Maxwell startled from his trance and he looked down, realizing he now had an audience as he jacked off. Drake and Liam were both back to sitting on the opposite bench, wide eyed slack jawed, staring at him and all of his 9 and a half inches. He stopped pumping his cock abruptly and gulped as his knees reflexively shut together, pulling his towel back over them.

“Um...in... my pants?”

“Clearly you are... a man of... hidden depths?” Liam fought an attempt to keep a straight face but failed when he couldn’t keep from snickering.

Drake snorted, “That’s one way to put it!”

“I’m going to take that compliment and run with it, Liam, thanks.”

Drake had been laughing so much he had to wipe the tears from his eyes and catch his breath before he spoke again, “Goddamnit, Maxwell, I’ll admit I never could understand what Carlisle saw in you before today, but... now?...I get it.”

“Oh fuck you. That’s not the only reason!”

“Pffft...Isn’t it?!?”

“Shut-the-fuck-up!”

He snapped his wet towel at him

“HAHahahaHA! Fuuuuck this is some good shit, I am... so high right now? I take it back, Maxwell. Your dick is huge, and every now and then you come up with some fan-fuckin’-tastic ideas. Like this weed vape. We definitely need to do this more often, Lee.” He leaned in to press his lips against Liam’s smile and ran the tip of his tongue against his teeth before taking another drag of the vape and passing it back to Liam

Maxwell took a big sip from his water bottle. “It’s nice to see you finally appreciating me, Drake. Thanks, man.”

Liam blew his toke out the side of his mouth, finally getting the hang of it, as he attempted to return to serious conversation. “So, are we really going to go through with this?”

“Damn right we are. And we better get started before I think better of including Beaumont, here.”

Maxwell scoffed, “Good thing it’s up to Tabitha and not you then, assmunch”

“You’d like it if I ‘munched’ your ass, wouldn’t you?”

Maxwell wiggled his eyebrows “Not as much as you’d enjoy ‘munching’ it”

Liam let out a loud groan, rolling his eyes and dragging a hand over his face in dramatic disgust while the other two dissolved into fits of giggles. Drake broke his laughter, wheezing, to say, “Nah, that’s never going to happen.”

.........

“So I’ll be taking Tabitha from the front, first. I am her husband and I am king after all. That ought to count for something.”

Maxwell took another long toke, and winced, squinting thoughtfully. “Seems fair.”

Drake guffawed, “no it isn’t! But that’s the whole point of the monarchy isn’t it? To not be fair.”

Liam gritted his teeth, “So that’s how you really feel?”

Drake closed his eyes and covered his face, only trying halfheartedly to keep from laughing more. Liam continued grilling him

“Tell me? What’s next? Are you going to start running around shouting ‘Eat the Rich!’ and spray-painting anarchy symbols all over the Palace walls?”

Maxwell giggled, “Heheheh... That’d be pretty funny.”

“Nah, Lee. If I end up painting giant letter “A”s on anything, it’s gonna stand or “Ass” “‘cause I fucking love yours. And Carlisle’s, for that matter... damn that’s a good piece of ass… But not yours, Maxwell.”

“Shuddup!”

“Enough! You two. Jesuschrist. Drake: Tabitha discussed wanting you to take her from behind for the entire duration. I believe that’s best…”

“I already talked about this with her before we came here y’know… you don’t have to-- "

“Did you, now? Fine, then Maxwell, after I’ve had her, you’ll take my place.”

“I’m down with that, but… why does this feel like you’re coaching us on plays before the big game or something Liam? It’s just sex…”

“ ‘Just sex’ Is that how you’d define it? Didn’t you have to plan out the details before your past ménage trysts?”

“Umm… nope? They kinda just, happened?” he winced and covered his eyes, the memories were making him blush, desperate to move the subject on from his past.

“Well I do feel, if we’re going to make this work, we need to have this planned out. Perhaps you’d be well advised to bring some more planning into your life for once, Maxwell…”

“Dude, dude… you’re going off… She’s gonna get mad if you’re in a pissed off mood when we start.” Drake chuckled, “Damn, Lee. Never figured you’d be an ‘angry stoner.’”

Max rolled his lips together in an attempt to keep from laughing. It didn’t work. His shoulders heaved as he spoke, “Pfft! Yeah, he’s pretty intense at micromanaging everyone when he’s sober, but this is some next-level shit”

Drake leaned forward wide eyed towards Maxwell, laughing with a side-five slapping his hand in agreement, “Right?”

“Would you two just--” Liam pouted, leaning against the wall. He was not amused.

Drake and Max both choked on their laughs as they tried to get serious again. “Nah, Liam. It’s cool. I’m down for whatever makes you guys happy; whatever makes Tabitha happy. We both love her, and I want us to make this work just like you do.”

“That’s good to hear from you, Maxwell. I’m glad it appears we’re on the same page.”

Drake leaned his arm on Liam’s shoulder, leaning down to kiss and murmur against his neck, “But I think you’re gonna have to relax a bit more before we go in there, Lee…” His lips captured Liam’s as they moved in a slow, licentious dance together.

Maxwell took another hit off of the vape. He was past the point of feeling awkward in front of the two lovers now but being high didn’t do wonders for his tact. “Hey,” he called out to them from across the bench, “So, who’s the top and who’s the bottom?”

Liam broke away from Drake, only slightly incredulous at Maxwell’s question before he answered, “That’s a bit personal, don’t you think?”

“I mean… I think it’s a pretty valid question… considering what we’re about to all do— hey!”

Drake reached over and grabbed the pen from Maxwell to take a drag of his own. “We’re switch, verse. I dunno, whatever you ‘kids’ call it these days.” Liam nodded once silently, looking slightly uncomfortable and trying not to blush. Drake continued, “What about you, Beaumont?”

“Kid?” His nervous laughter belied more than the incredulity of someone less than a year older than him calling him ‘kid’, “I…I only ‘top’ now… I had a bad experience years ago…” his voice trailed off to almost a whisper.

Liam held his hand out to pause the need for explanation. “You don’t need to elaborate, Maxwell. It’s good that we’re being open about this though.”

“Yeah… I—” Maxwell felt his iWatch vibrate with the text notification scrolling across the tiny screen from Tabitha:

Tabitha 👑🌸 

Babe! It’s time! Where r u boys? Don’t make me come in there!! 😘😘😘 

Saved by the buzz.

............

TO BE CONTINUED !!!

Thanks so much for continuing to read and for all of the feedback, reblogs and support <3 :)

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[ditto]

wi rehab week 3 review: the Week™. i KNOW this post is long but god please read about my misfortune if yall want a Saga

current status on raccoons: clement

number of monster energy drinks consumed: 2

number of buns directly killed: 1

Days Since Last Diarrhead on: 1

Baby Raccoon Count: 150ish? probably 130 that need to be bottle fed 

new tasks performed:

baby opossum cage maintenance

baby waterfowl cage maintenance

SQ fluid administration on raccoons

SQ vaccine administration on raccoons

What To Do When Your Tire Goes Flat 101

oral medication administration on possums

CHRONOLOGICAL TALE OF MISFORTUNE: i’m not going to do this regularly but the sheer amount of bad shit that happened this week was COMICAL so let me break down everything that happened to me this work week

MONDAY 6/8

got diarrhead on during 6am raccoon feeding

straight up killed a baby rabbit during bun feeding. they stress real easily and i’m bad at tubing so i had him out for a while and he just fuckin. died. from stress. in my hands. directly because of me being bad at my job. so you know that was uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

shovelled out wet dirty woodchips out of a walk-in enclosure with like 8 goslings using a snowshovel w/ another baby intern. you can’t put a ton of woodchips into one trash bag so we had to keep changing out the trash bag and it was like 92 degrees out and we were both wearing cloth masks and on god i really thought we were gonna die in there

during the pm feeding i get peed on by the EXACT SAME RACCOON that diarrhead on me during the am feeding 

TUESDAY 6/9: the Day(tm)

i have a therapy appointment scheduled at 2pm. my shift is 6am-2pm. i’ll need to leave at 1:30pm to get to it. i tell my supervisors this. it’s chill. i still feel bad about it, because i have anxiety.

right off the bat, i get scolded by my Actual Boss for doing something i watched one of the supervising interns do 

6am raccoon feeding: get diarrhead on again. 

a rac RIPS the fucking nipple off of the baby bottle we’re feeding them with and formula gets fucking everywhere. i say out loud at this moment “IM HAVING A GREAT WEEK”. one of my supervising interns feels bad for me and keeps trying to cheer me up throughout the day. she does make me feel better.

i get dishes which is fine bc i dont mind dishes for real but my hands turn into sandpaper the day after doing dishes for 2 hours so this is more :| than :/. i make jokes about how bad my week is going. the mood is, generally, looking up.

next raccoon feeding is scheduled for noon. raccoons are housed in a separate building, so it’s about a 5 minute drive to get there from the main area. we get ready to leave around 1pm. recap: i need to leave at 1:30pm for a therapy appointment. i’m planning on driving my own car down there so i can do this. it’s chill.

on my way down there, i start hearing the most godawful screeching of metal. i am, quote, “like uhhh.” when i open the gate to turn onto the highway, i stick my head out the window to look

my tire is flat.

i have a flat tire.

my fucking tire is FLAT dude.

>mfw

>

>

pull over after gate

tell the staff member following me “hey i have a flat tire so im probably not going to make it down to feed today” and shes like flkdjsalfksd okay

call the ONE supervising intern whose number i have, who is the one who heard me say IM HAVING A GREAT WEEK, like GUESS WHICH BITCH HAS A FLAT TIRE LMFAOOOOOOO. just making that one call was the funniest fucking thing that’s ever happened in my entire life

to quote her verbatim: “i guess you are having a bad week”

call my dad, who as it turns out was actively teaching a class when i called, so i am well and truly facked and am DEFINITELY not making this therapy appointment

ok. take a deep breath. check my car. i have a donut in my car. i have not changed a tire in three years, and have never changed one in the scenario of I Have A Flat Tire. fack. relay this to the one supervising intern whos number i know (i’m going to call her supervising intern 1 going forward here). ask her if anyone knows how to change a tire. 

supervising intern 1 calls back. apparently there’s a guy who lives on the same property we’re on named donnie. donnie is a maintenance worker who helps out a lot around the rehab place. donnie can help me change my tire. apparently someone currently down feeding raccoons is going to come pick me up and bring me over there so i can continue to feed raccoons until donnie can fix my tire. 

get call from supervising intern 2, whose number i did not have, apparently it got relayed. i ask her if anyone down there can change a tire. she says she can change a tire. she will help me change my tire she finishes on raccoon feeding. ok sounds good. someone is still going to come pick me up.

get call back 10 minutes later. apparently donnie is in the middle of a field right now and it is unlikely that he can fix my tire. someone is still going to come get me to feed raccoons, maybe. i tell her supervising intern 2 can help me change my tire after we finish our shift. she says thats fine. ok cool sick.

try to call therapist. i have no signal. send email which is, verbatim: “Hey! I'm currently on the the side of of the the road in [TOWN 30 MILES AWAY] with a flat tire, so I'm not going to make our appointment today. If we could reschedule for sometime soon, that would be great.” signal is bad, so this ends up being sent at 3pm.

(ALSO I LEARNED ABOUT THIS TODAY BUT APPARENTLY IN THE TIMELINE THERE’S A FIGHT HERE BETWEEN SUPERVISING INTERNS 1 AND 2 OVER HOW THE SITUATION IS PLAYING OUT WHICH IS EQUAL PARTS HILARIOUS AND “MAKES ME FEEL BAD”)

one of the other baby interns comes to pick me up and bring me down to racs. i walk in like AYYYYYYY and start feeding raccoons.

i get diarrhead on again.

i get diarrhead on again again. 

apparently 3 in one day is a record.

my shift is supposed to end at 2pm. we usually end up staying until 2:15-2:30ish, because that’s usually when the other team gets down here. since supervising intern 2 is currently my savior, she is going to drive me back over when the other team gets here and she leaves. other baby interns leave at 2:15ish, i think. 

the other team is, apparently, running late. they get here at 3pm.

supervising intern 2 drives me back over at 3pm. we get to my car.

the donut is on.

the tire is in the trunk.

apparently donnie was, in fact, able to come change my tire. no one told me this. 

im like ok. this is fine. i tell supervising intern 2 thank u for my life. i leave.

my donut has a 50mph max speed limit. i tell google maps to avoid highways on my way home. this turns my 30 minute drive home into a 50 minute one, and still ends up with me being terrifyingly tailgated by trucks for going 10 miles under the speed limit. i almost, but do not, run out of gas on the way home.

i get home around 4:10pm. i call the auto shop across the street from me and tell them i have a flat tire, but i need the car by 6am tomorrow. do they think they can have it fixed by then. they tell me to bring it over and they’ll let me know.

i bring the car over. i give them my keys. i say thank you and leave.

i realize that my garage door opener is in my car, which is now locked. i have no other way into the house, because our garage door keypad has been broken for 2 years. the sliding glass door in the backyard is locked.

i walk back into the auto shop 5 minutes later and ask in the Polite But Obviously Having A Day tone if i can have my keys back so i can get it. i get my garage door opener out of my car. i give the keys back.

i enter my home. i lay spread-eagled on my bed for one hour.

auto place calls back and tells me they fixed the tire. im like did you replace it or did u fix it. theyre like we fixed it come on over. i almost cry on the phone.

go back over. guy is like “ya u ran over a screw LOL”. gives me my keys back. i wait to pay

after a bit hes like “you dont have to pay anything. this is on the house.”

almost cry

thank him

get car

go home

eat

shower

go to bed at 8pm 

WEDNESDAY (6/10)

everyone at work is immediately like AYYY and in general just very nice about the whole thing. i thank everyone involved for helping. its chill

dont get diarrhead on this feeding but i do get bit for like NO got dam reason what the fack

next up is cleaning juvenile cages and i swear to god i get the nastiest. fucking. raccoon cage i have ever seen in my entire life. there was an...i wanna say eigth-of-an-inch thick layer of raccoon diarrhea across this 2 foot x 4 foot cage

like on GOD the smell was so bad i was gagging through a goddamn cloth mask just. oh my god. i had to just go stand outside and stare into the abyss afterwards for a few minutes it was so NASTY IT WAS SO NASTY

mercifully, i am spared from further misfortune for the rest of the day. i come home. i am so tired.

WAIT I HAVE TO MENTION THAT SUPERVISING INTERN 1 HAD SUCH BAD LUCK FEEDING RABBITS TODAY SO LIKE...my luck is contagious 

notes and observations

anyone who is anti-euthanasia in animal shelters and any other large-scale animal welfare places in general can absolutely suck my dick

most other baby animals will generally have various stages of “baby x”, but opossums look like Adults Except Tiny from a very early age. they have stolen my heart.

birds are poopy little creatures