#this is a microaggression against me personally

[dragkingandreweldritch]

so let me get this straight. one of the main bad guys in bg3 is a burly goth with his tits out, who is voiced by Jason Isaacs, and who offers you an alliance that sounds an awful lot like a marriage proposal if you don't immediately try to fight him, AND also implies the two of you were *very* close pre-amnesia and just generally gets a big smile on his face when other npcs talk about you if you play as a specific premade character...and you CAN'T fuck him???

the Larian exec I've tied to a chair: how did you get into my house

[lesenbyan]

I think it says a lot about the narratives we're still not allowed to tell that I always feel immensely more kinship with sci-fi and fantasy biracial characters than those in fiction that more mirrors current day

[alltimefail-sims]

For the record: I don't respond to empty blogs who message me to argue, empty blogs who comment on my stuff in a way that is clearly trying to bait an argument, or anons who are completely out of pocket and clearly just trying to be hurtful/start discourse. I don't have time to fight with people who make blank accounts just to be weird and give a hot take they won't say under their own name. Too old for that shit 👍

[dyketubbo]

your bio just says "I have no friends or life outside the internet. also my dad left me"

don't worry you'll grow out of it and cringe about this phase looking back

normally i dont answer direct hate anons but this is really funny to me to so ill give a genuine response. just for you bby <3 anyways are you. are you aware that you literally just told a black girl that youre deciding her dad must have left her based on her bio 😭😭 yeah let me grow out of my melanin real quick LMAOOOOO. anon the tsa just had all of their racism and xenophobia leaked out to the public, xenophobia that resulted in ACTUAL CHILDREN being considered TERRORISTS for being born into certain ethinicity and religious groups, and youre busy pulling the "i bet you dont have a dad" card on some mixed girl running a minecraft roleplay analysis blog because she thinks people should stop being mean to some catgirl THAT HACKED THE TSA bc its queer in a way they dont approve of.

im really, so truly, definitely not lying, very sorry, but that is extremely immature of you and youre the one who needs to grow up if you think that your behavior is okay. being mean and hateful to people because youre upset that they dont agree that the queer community should be full of infighting and minorities oppressing each other when there are bigger things to worry about is.. fucked up! youre literally sending hate anons over this! thats really sad! imagine sending anon hate telling someone else theyll grow out of showing basic respect and kindness. lol. lmao

[creatingblackcharacters]

Do you have any advice/suggestions/requests for non-black members of fandom as far as how to respond to racism in fandom spaces? Obviously we shouldn't be speaking over black voices, but it doesn't seem fair for black members of fandom to have to do all the work of making a fandom space safe and welcoming for themselves.

You are correct! Tbh, these are tips for being a good ally in general:

Amplify Black Voices!

Odds are, whatever manifesto you have in your mind about the injustice of antiblackness in your fandom, a Black fan has already said it multiple times. While I appreciate the sentiment, I must admit I'm salty when I see that people are more supportive of (usually white) voices that discuss my lived experience, over my own voice and my lived experience. What does that really solve? You need to be following Black fans too, that way you're actually in the know when these things are happening.

Don't be a Bystander!

If I'm getting jumped and you (who had the power to help) show up afterwards to say "I really empathized with your pain", I'm not going to think "wow they cared, I'm so grateful". I'm going to think "WOW they really let me get my ass beat!" Same idea with this. That's honestly the most painful part for me; it's not the lone racist themselves, but the hordes of people who back them up, and the rest (some of whom you may even consider a friend) who might disagree but say absolutely nothing.

When you see that a Black peer is being railroaded and you KNOW it's wrong, step tf up! Be willing to say "you're out of pocket for behaving this way, and I will not be supporting you now that I know you're a racist". I will never know you're an ally if you're only an ally in your head! It's the thought that counts, but the action that delivers!!

It's going to be uncomfortable! Stand on it!

If you share that you're against antiblackness in fandom spaces, but next you're reblogging whitewashed art, or an artist known for whitewashed/racist pieces, or still following someone who's made covert/overt antiblack statements, etc. just bc you "enjoy their stuff"... You're not being an ally. Be willing to hold those creators accountable, and when they disappoint you, unfollow them. Be willing to tell your friends, "hey, that person did/said this thing that was anti-black and were unapologetic about it". And if your friends don't care? Now you know who's around you. I'm not saying it's easy, but... Do you stand on business, or would you rather allow racism so that you can stay comfortable? Because your Black peers have to live under this discomfort you're only momentarily experiencing. It's far harder for me to approach these people and hold them accountable. And if I see that you're still kicking it with known antiblack racists... I'm probably not going to assume highly of you, either.

Educate yourself on what these aggressions look like!

You might not know what to look for, and if you don't, you're gonna miss a lot. What is actually antiblackness will often be posited as "drama" or "fandom wank". Or, if they're really trying to sound progressive, it'll reveal itself as dogwhistles in other important topics like queer representation or misogyny (e.g. how white women often claim misogyny when confronted with their racism, or TERFs). That's how it gets swept under the rug. Learn to recognize microaggressions, learn to recognize the signs. It requires work! Listen to and believe your Black peers when they explain what they saw! Bc trust, once you see it... You'll realize there's a lot of it lmao. And that's what many fans are afraid of confronting.

That's what I have for now, if anyone else has anything to offer. 👍🏾 Thanks for asking!

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Rollo runs the anti-magic league and I refuse to believe otherwise

I know this ask was sort of a joke, but it got me thinking 🤔

Surely Rollo isn’t the ONLY person in all of Twisted Wonderland that’s anti-magic, right? There is always variance in a population, and not a single thing that everyone can agree on.

So… There’s gotta be other people who are against magic (for various reasons) and protest its widespread acceptance in modern society. I’d imagine it’s mainly conservative older folks, given that we see the attitude surrounding mages improve over Twisted Wonderland’s history.

Still, I can’t help but wonder what it’s like for those anti-magic folks now. Like, do they actively go out and protest or try to pass more laws to strictly regulate magic? (There’s already laws on magic in place, but they’d be calling for even more.) Most of them probably can’t be overt about their discrimination (at least not without backlash), so I think instead they say vaguely weird things or commit microaggressions. I’d be interested in seeing how that group presents and acts relative to the extreme that is Rollo.

[doberbutts]

I know you've said writing is a pretty fraught thing for you so I hope I'm not prodding against something tender without realizing, but I wanted to say that I think you have an absolutely lovely authorial voice, and I find your writing an absolute joy to read. I only discovered your blog a couple of days ago, but I've been reading through some of your post backlog and I've found myself consistently impressed by how you're able to make nuanced, complex ideas understandable for lay-readers while still maintaining a very fluid and compelling style.

Speaking as someone coming from academia, that blend of clarity, readability and depth of thought is both rare and takes a lot of work to develop, and I really admire it.

Oh, I appreciate the kind words actually!

It's not that my relationship with writing is fraught, it's that black people being called eloquent is a, umm, well often it is a microaggression when being said by a nonblack person.

Let me put it this way. Black people have our own dialect- AAVE- which is constantly both appropriated and also derided as unintelligent. This is despite the fact that most people who use AAVE also can speak and understand standard american english- proficiency in two (tbh even more than two bc AAVE is largely regional as well but w/e I guess) dialects is somehow unintelligent if you choose to use the one most common to your demographic for whatever reason. (I know the reason the reason is racism actually).

Black people learned a long time ago that in order to be taken seriously by nonblack and white supremist society, we needed to not only not use AAVE, but also be the most eloquent and well-spoken person in the room at all times or else some white asshole would find a reason to discredit us by saying we were too unintelligent to have a place at the table.

We aren't allowed to not be eloquent. And eloquent is only allowed to mean "speaks in purely academic words and phrases with no slang, using only standard american with no strong accent besides the news broadcaster 'no accent' accent" with absolutely no wiggle room.

Racist white society does not consider it possible to be well-spoken while using AAVE. It doesn't matter how educated or articulate the speaker is if they're using AAVE. They're just not considered intelligent enough to have a firm grasp on the subject. Even if they're the most experienced person there.

So when I say that black people and eloquence is a fraught discussion, I don't mean that I don't like speaking or writing. What I mean is, black people being told we are well spoken when we choose to remove our own dialect from our mouths because that's the only way we can get people to listen to us, often times with people saying this in surprise as though they did not expect us to be well spoken...

That entire mess is a whole tangled web of racism. It's a microaggression.

And it's also actually one of the major reasons why I talk the way I do. I find it to be a nice blend between pure academic lingo and casual street talk- understandable for the layperson but with an obvious enough grasp of the concept that I don't drown when discussing with people more used to using the more theoretical terms. It is intentional, and it's nice to see someone notice that.

[bababerries]

Daniil Dankovsky’s internalized bigotry is really fascinating to me because he’s clearly someone with left leaning values who wants change and actively questions things. And he’s clearly a victim of oppression himself. But he’s also a famous white guy (potentially wealthy tho I feel like that aspect is debatable/up to interpretation with how money is in his storyline) with a lot of unchecked privilege over others he doesn’t fully recognize and I like how this is shown gameplay mechanic wise with how Clara and Artemy have struggles with the reputation mechanic but you never have an issue with that as Daniil unless you’re actively trying to lol.

It’s some nice discussion on moral purism because I feel like a lot of left leaning people don’t wanna dissect how a lot of us have internalized bigotry in some way shape or form and get defensive about confronting it. It’s easier to admit to the internalized bigotry however if it’s a minority you’re part of. Like it’s seen as more “inherently noble” it’s seen as more palatable and heroic to carry that burden on your shoulder where it gives the illusion that the only person you’re hurting is yourself. (I think I kinda see Artemy fitting this to an extent in a meta way (?) because he’s an internalized racist and his narrative feels like a commentary on like an avarage hero journy where he’s the underdog who struggles but overall comes on top and achieves a “happy ending” for everyone and oh he’s so noble for shouldering all these burdens on his own despite his suffering and even he believes this as he refers to himself as a hero but in reality his internalized self loathing and conservative brainwashing and pressure to live up to his dad has made him neglect his own interiority and his plethora of issues) and how I personally interpret Daniil I think he kinda sheds light on how people definitely have internalized bigotry for groups they don’t belong to because internalization is more complex then internalizing the ugly comments and actions people direct towards you for your identity but the seeds the world plants in us to hate those different from us. And how victim blaming is taught to us. I think a lot of people get defensive about confronting this part of themselves but it’s a very real thing. Sometimes good intentioned people do and say fucked up things

And I see this in Daniil’s story. I think it’s very fitting actually. He values freedom and freewill, he thinks scapegoating is horrible. And he has a lot of admirable values and wants to fight against a government that oppresses him. Him saving Clara on day 6 is one of my favourite character moments and it’s consistent how as an npc he always plays a part in helping you restore your protagonist damaged reputation. But as much as he wants to fly free he’s so imprisoned and oppressed and ends up mimicking the behaviours that he despises from those above

His language is often filled with racist and insensitive microaggressions like calling the kin savages and isidor having a “uncivilized air to him” I think here Daniil is mainly criticizing the kins violence which I don’t think he’s wrong to have an issue with and he has this issue with the town to talking about them in a similar way. But this language is targeted and offensive and uses racist terms conscious or not. I think it’s what makes some things with his dynamic with Artemy interesting to. They put a time limit on their friendship because the both of them understand they’re different and have different viewpoints on this dilemma but in the Haruspex route they do develop a genuine friendship so there’s definitely a tragic element to the fact that they just refuse to try to understand or ever consider what the other is saying or try to reach a conclusion together. I would argue to some extent all the healers acknowledge in some way they are simular and empathize with one another weather they want to acknowledge that or not. But they’re all too stubborn and prideful to ever try to propperly get a long and work together. And while Daniil likes and appreciates artemy he does not respect him. He says he does and perhaps Daniil thinks so himself but I don’t believe that. He is actively very dismissive and condescending towards Artemy. And it’s very insensitive how he talks down the kin to Artemy’s face. Only ever indulging him in his background when it benifits his plan to save the polyhedron. (I wanted to talk a bit on how he views twyrine and the panacea but my memory is a bit blurry on some of the specifics regarding his shifting feelings)

His classism is also interesting as he’s also a victim of it or it’s generally just heavily affected his life of having to work so hard and rise ranks to be someone important in order to actually make a positive change in the world. And even with his status he’s still picked on by the government and how the powers that he can so easily crush and shut down his lab, research and passion just because they feel like it. And it’s easy to interpret him going broke by just trying to keep Thanatica afloat. Daniil is egotistical but he also thinks highly of himself because he feels like he needs to be a responsible reliable person because that’s his job.

I remember thinking to myself “Daniil would be the kind of person who’s say what do you know you don’t have a degree in this” which he actually said in Marbles nest and yeah he would say that. Because he’d take it as a personal attack at how hard he worked to get where he is and an attack to his ego. He’d be offended on the behalf of himself. But in reality this is a really bad statement to make a lot of the time because education and knowledge shouldn’t be capitalized and gatekeeped. It’s insensitive to those who’ve gained knowledges through lived experience and unfair to those who don’t have the same luxuries as other people do and is just a very narrow minded view of intelligence. I think it can also beg the question that yeah I think Daniil is justified in a lot of the frustration he feels in the game at the town. He gets manipulated and abused a lot. But also a lot of people in the town didn’t have the same luxuries Daniil did. He has a lot of privilege and knowledge a lot of common folk in the town do not and kinda have to live in these circumstances. And it’s frankly also all they know. (Again I think Artemy’s ending kinda discusses this with the kids growing up to mindlessly fill their parents footsteps without questioning everything and reverting back to status quo)

I don’t think Daniil is stupid but he’s very flawed and also often will see things in black and white and get tunnel visioned because he wears his heart on his sleeve. He struggles with being empathetic/sympathetic and can be dismissive. He feels like he himself is misunderstood so he has difficulty giving people that same luxury because he himself feels denied of it but it ends up with him being self absorbed in such a way where he ends up hurting more people then doing good despite desperatly wanting to do the latter. I think the message of his ending captures this perfectly

(I do kinda wish his misogyny was written a little better especially since his route has themes of him having issues with the towns violent misogyny and Maria and Eva respectively being easily read as commentaries of misogynistic archetypes but there’s barely any lines of him saying misogynistic stuff in game all of them are basically a rude conversation ender and also just feel lazily written. I also don’t think he says anything as an npc irrc. It comes off more like old video game misogyny that feels “oh this character is an asshole and a man so we have to also make him misogynistic sometimes” then an intentional character flaw which really sucks since I do think you can write something interesting with it. Esp since I think Artemy’s misogyny is really interesting with how it plays into his ending and how racism and misogyny have a lot in common so it’s easy to conflate the herb brides treatment with his own)

[selfshipseaside]

Self-shippers! It's Indigenous Peoples' Day! 🧡

Remember to support your local indigenous self-shippers, and not just for today! As an indigenous person, it's very important to me as an activist as well that people truly understand the gravity of how this day became what it is now. If you are also an activist or are looking to just in general be more educated and an ally, I fully encourage you do your research and read up on indigenous history! Please do not ask native/indigenous people to educate you. And remember, indigenous peoples are not just in North America! There are indigenous people all over the world, and as we all know, there are also self-shippers all over the world! So remember that we do exist, and we do belong here, and our culture is not to be taken and colonized any further. Please do not use native/indigenous culture for your own personal gain via self-ships or at all. If you are not native/indigenous, do not wear our regalia (even as a s/i) or mock ups of it, do not practice our closed practices (even as a s/i), do not mysticize us, treat us like fantastical magic and sacred beings, and don't treat your native/indigenous f/os like that. We are real people. We have real culture that does not belong to anyone but us. Respect native/indigenous characters and media because there have been times in which we were mocked and laughed at for merely existing. Racist caricatures are rampant with our people, and it's still ongoing. And I will be the first to say it if anyone hasn't already: It's not okay to be ignorant about this anymore. It never has been, but it's been far too long that native and indigenous people in general are pushed to the side and it's normalized to be very ignorant and to be forgiven for microaggressions against our people because of "not knowing". Educate yourselves, don't choose ignorance over human rights. Today is very important, but indigenous and native people don't exist just for today. We are always here, and always will be 🧡

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for hanging out with someone less in-person, and more online?

Here me out first please.

My buddy Austin (he/him) and I usually hang out at least every other week, if not every week. We've been doing this for the last few years after we both got more conformable doing in-person hangouts after the covid vaccines reached the general public in our country.

About a year ago, Austin was in a car accident (not a major one, don't worry) and walked away with a mild concussion (doctor's description). Ever since that car accident, Austin has been super sensitive to sound. In his words, walking across his floor in socks sounds like elephant stomping. His floor is carpet. Typing on a phone is so loud and distracting he can't hear anything else. Birds outside his house sound like they're chirping directly into his ear. He vents to me often that having a regular-volumed conversation sounds so loud it's painful to him.

When I'm over at his house, I try to be as quiet as I can. I'm careful to soft-step around the house and not take my shoes off. I try to shuffle or slide through the kitchen and other rooms that are not carpet so I make less noise. We whisper or half-whisper half-speak to each other in conversation. Movies we have subtitles on and the volume turned down to almost 0%. But Austin still looks like he's in pain by the end of a couple hour hang-out. Sometimes he'll get up and put in earplugs and then come back to continue the hangout. I feel really bad that he's putting himself through so much.

The last few months, instead of always hanging out in-person, I've been suggesting doing something virtual and letting Austin decide which he wants. I figure that if we're gaming, he can wear his earplugs or mute the game and we can use game chat or text each other to communicate. Same with watching movies, we can both adjust our volumes to our comfort levels (and leave subtitles on still. I don't mind them). Sometimes he wants to just do things online, and sometimes he insists on hanging out in-person. It's been about 60/40 online to in-person so far.

We hung out last weekend and first Austin said let's hang out in-person, but the night before we were supposed to hang out, he told me he rather hang out online this time. I was cool with it, but when I let my roommate Geoff (who is also good friends with Austin) know that actually I'd be home most of the day Saturday and answered Geoff's "why are you hanging out with Austin online again?" with "i don't know, Austin probably wants a quiet weekend instead", my roommate started accusing me of infantilizing Austin by hanging out online instead of in-person, that I'm abandoning Austin because his "auditory disablility is too inconvenient for fragile able-bodied feelings" (Geoff's words), and how since Austin hasn't explicitly said that in-person hanging out is too loud for him, then I'm being ableist by assuming things are too loud when he hasn't directly said that I am too loud. I argued that I don't think of Austin as lesser, I just don't want to cause him any unnecessary pain, and it's pretty obvious when things are too loud for him without words, because you can read the "Make it stop" / "No more" expression on his face. But Geoff doubled down really hard and told me i should be ashamed of treating Austin like he's incapable of making his own choices.

I was pissed and just walked out with my laptop. We did our movie day with me on the local library wifi instead. I don't think for a second I've taken away Austin's ability to choose, since I let Austin make the call on in-person or online!! But I'm also completely able-bodied. I haven't even experienced a temporary disability-experience like needing crutches during injury recovery or anything. Geoff has a chronic pain and fatigue disorder, so he has more experience with microaggressions than I do. So I don't know if I'm right about this being a non-issue, or if Geoff is right about me being ableist against Austin's noise sensitivities. It keeps eating at me now, and I don't want to bring this up with Austin since I already know he's really insecure about his new volume tolerance levels. Am I an asshole for doing online hangouts with Austin instead of sticking to only in-person stuff?

[griancraft]

I'm struggling to word this but I'm finally ready to talk about it and I want people to listen.

I've noticed a type of racism in leftist communities I don't see talked about a lot. I am Quarter Japanese and I am visibly mixed, but a lot of leftists see "quarter" and assume that I don't have the right to an opinion on issues that effect me. The sentiment I've gotten from mostly white leftists is that I'm not "POC enough" for a lot of discussions.

There's this weird thing in a lot of leftist spaces where your appearance and percentage, not your experiences based on your race, are considered above all.

Meanwhile, in reality, all aspects of my identity are affected by my race and my family's experience with Japanese internment. An event which stripped them of any wealth they had acquired since moving to Canada over 50 years before the war.

An event that cause the intermarriage rate of Japanese-canadians and white Canadians to be over 90 percent post internment because we viewed proximity to whiteness as safety. An event which left them in severe poverty until my dad and aunt worked their asses off to get a degree. The generational trauma goes so deep my dad didn't want me transitioning because he was worried about what the government would do to me.

Because of my race I experienced negligence from authority figures related to pretty severe racially based bullying at 12. That negligence could have killed me. I've had to deal with microaggressions and straight up racism related to my last name on multiple occasions.

One time I was out with a friend and he grabbed my arm tight and dragged me to walk faster. A man wearing a white lives matter T-shirt was standing in the middle of the path looking directly at me when I turned around.

I'm pretty sure this wasn't based on me being feminine and goth that day, I live in a city with a decent amount of people in alt subculture and my friend was way more gothed up and queer than me. I was barely passing as a guy at that point so it wasn't because I was a man in a dress. I know this is a weaker point, but it made me realize just how unsafe I am in my own community even though I'm a mixed person in a heavily multicultural city.

Obviously, this isn't on the scale of someone who is less white passing than me and/or has more compounding marginalizations. However I've found that the fact I'm mixed race has been used against me to devalue my experience and knowledge regarding what it's like to be a POC in Canada.

I can assure you I am aware of how bad it is, and I am aware of how good I have it. I also want you to be aware that it's not all sunshine rainbows and bunny farts to be more white, it doesn't make the racism go away. It often just makes it more covert and easy to explain away because I'm "not really Japanese"

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

why are autistics without intellectual disability so quick to distance themselves from those who do?

*unbolded version under the cut*

i see this most often in autistics who are (labeled) level 1/"high functioning"/"aspie" (yes i know the three don't always equal one another yes i know hans asperger nazi). this of course happens with all autistics without intellectual disability (ID) but see most with them.

this is largely rhetorical question.

see so many autistics without ID say things like "i'm autistic not STUPID" and get so offended when someone even imply or genuinely ask if they have ID.

"i'm autistic not [r word]," "i'm autistic but not like those kinds of autistic." all implying they're the "good" kind of autistic that deserve respect and rights and there is group of autistic who are "bad" (read: not palatable enough) who should be bullied and denied rights and locked away and mocked. often these are autistics with ID and autistics who are visibly stereotypically autistic who don't have ability to mask.

understand wanting to correct someone when they think wrong information of you, like you thought i have ID but i actually don't, just like you thought i have depression but i actually don't (just example not personal about me). but often when these autistics say "i'm autistic not STUPID" and variants, they often mean more than that. some autistic people without ID get so offended when people think they have ID. so offended at the idea of being associated with ID. like "how DARE you assume i have ID and are like those people."

so quick to separate self from people with ID. like they have the plague or something.

or. sometimes see autistics without ID talk about an autistic person with ID. talk about an "ugly" (unaccepted, not cute symptom) symptom and say "oh that's not the autism that's ID. autistics don't do that." and act as if there is a clear beginning and end to where the autism ends and where the ID begins. there is not.

or when autistic with ID gets mentioned. everyone focus on the autism and not the ID. or think they can speak about said autistic person with ID's experience just because they themselves are also autistic even though they don't have ID.

or "actually many autistic people have above average intelligence!" which is objectively true but 9/10 times this gets brought up to derail the conversation. yes many autistic people have high IQ (online autism space oversaturated with them), but what is left out is there is nothing wrong with having average IQ or low IQ/intellectual disability.

or. when bring up people w ID and/or autistics with ID, will say "IQ is a inaccurate/racist/colonial/ableist measure" and stuff like that. which is objectively also true! or "don't say you're stupid, you're actually very smart, there are many types of intelligence!" but the issue is when you are bringing these topics up. because yes IQ bad measure, intelligence subjective, BUT ALSO current society have specific types of intelligence they value (and this cannot be denied no matter how much you derail the conversation), AND there is nothing wrong with being "not smart" "stupid" "dumb" "unintelligent" etc. there is nothing wrong with having ID. admit that. why are you (general you) having such a hard time admitting that, to the point you will say everything else before admitting to that?

or say "[r word] is slur towards autistic people so i as an autistic person (without ID) are allowed to reclaim it." when no. r word is not slur towards autistic people. just because it has been used against you doesn't mean it means you. r word is an outdated medical term for intellectual disability, aka mental [r word]. not yours.

many many microaggressions (and macro aggressions tbh too)

autistics with ID are one of the more marginalized more vulnerable autistic population, more likely to be in bad conservatorship, more vulnerable to all kinds of abuse, less autonomy, no privacy, seen as completely incompetent, etc. particularly many have carers and are expected to fully trust and be completely vulnerable to other people and have no personal time no privacy.

autistics with intellectual disability are still autistic. they're not going anywhere.

i say this is rhetorical question because largely know why autistics without ID do this. especially level 1/"high functioning"/"aspie." because think are closest population to nondisabled neurotypical society, on the edge of nondisabled neurotypical society, expected to function well but do not. just "normal-looking" enough to be let in but not normal enough to be truly included, to thrive. many trouble. many trauma. and intelligence is one of the few things many feel proud to have feel positive to have. even feel superior to have. so have internalized ableism towards self but also internalized ableism towards intelligence.

BUT. your trauma or autism still don't justify your ableism. you are still responsible of educating self about ID and unpack ableism about intelligence and ID.

your trauma or autism doesn't justify your ableism you're just ableist

...

unbolded:

i see this most often in autistics who are (labeled) level 1/"high functioning"/"aspie" (yes i know the three don't always equal one another yes i know hans asperger nazi). this of course happens with all autistics without intellectual disability (ID) but see most with them.

this is largely rhetorical question.

see so many autistics without ID say things like "i'm autistic not STUPID" and get so offended when someone even imply or genuinely ask if they have ID.

"i'm autistic not [r word]," "i'm autistic but not like those kinds of autistic." all implying they're the "good" kind of autistic that deserve respect and rights and there is group of autistic who are "bad" (read: not palatable enough) who should be bullied and denied rights and locked away and mocked. often these are autistics with ID and autistics who are visibly stereotypically autistic who don't have ability to mask.

understand wanting to correct someone when they think wrong information of you, like you thought i have ID but i actually don't, just like you thought i have depression but i actually don't. but often when these autistics say "i'm autistic not STUPID" and variants, they often mean more than that. some autistic people without ID get so offended when people think they have ID. so offended at the idea of being associated with ID. like "how DARE you assume i have ID and are like those people."

so quick to separate self from people with ID. like they have the plague or something.

or. sometimes see autistics without ID talk about an autistic person with ID. talk about an "ugly" (unaccepted, not cute symptom) symptom and say "oh that's not the autism that's ID. autistics don't do that." and act as if there is a clear beginning and end to where the autism ends and where the ID begins. there is not.

or when autistic with ID gets mentioned. everyone focus on the autism and not the ID. or think they can speak about said autistic person with ID's experience just because they themselves are also autistic even though they don't have ID.

or "actually many autistic people have above average intelligence!" which is objectively true but 9/10 times this gets brought up to derail the conversation. yes many autistic people have high IQ (online autism space oversaturated with them), but what is left out is there is nothing wrong with having average IQ or low IQ/intellectual disability.

or. when bring up people w ID and/or autistics with ID, will say "IQ is a inaccurate/racist/colonial/ableist measure" and stuff like that. which is objectively also true! or "don't say you're stupid, you're actually very smart, there are many types of intelligence!" but the issue is when you are bringing these topics up. because yes IQ bad measure, intelligence subjective, BUT ALSO current society have specific types of intelligence they value (and this cannot be denied no matter how much you derail the conversation), AND there is nothing wrong with being "not smart" "stupid" "dumb" "unintelligent" etc. there is nothing wrong with having ID. admit that. why are you (general you) having such a hard time admitting that, to the point you will say everything else before admitting to that?

or say "[r word] is slur towards autistic people so i as an autistic person (without ID) are allowed to reclaim it." when no. r word is not slur towards autistic people. just because it has been used against you doesn't mean it means you. r word is an outdated medical term for intellectual disability, aka mental [r word]. not yours.

many many microaggressions (and macro aggressions tbh too)

autistics with ID are one of the more marginalized more vulnerable autistic population, more likely to be in conservatorship, more vulnerable to all kinds of abuse, less autonomy, no privacy, seen as completely incompetent, etc. particularly many have carers and are expected to fully trust and be completely vulnerable to other people and have no personal time no privacy.

autistics with intellectual disability are still autistic. they're not going anywhere.

i say this is rhetorical question because largely know why autistics without ID do this. especially level 1/"high functioning"/"aspie." because think are closest population to nondisabled neurotypical society, on the edge of nondisabled neurotypical society, expected to function well but do not. just "normal-looking" enough to be let in but not normal enough to be truly included, to thrive. many trouble. many trauma. and intelligence is one of the few things many feel proud to have feel positive to have. even feel superior to have. so have internalized ableism towards self but also internalized ableism towards intelligence.

BUT. your trauma or autism still don't justify your ableism. you are still responsible of educating self about ID and unpack ableism about intelligence and ID.

your trauma or autism doesn't justify your ableism you're just ableist

[bluntloyalist]

didn't want to come across as passive aggressive putting this in the reblogs so here's a separate post about my thinky thoughts on she/her tsubaki. mainly because i do what i want forever but if canon happens to make a convincing argument for it thats nice too since i am incapable of shutting the hell up

1. KIRYU EXISTS

people love tsubaki's whole thing of accepting herself for who she is regardless of what others think. this is something i've seen repeated a lot in comments re: the official translation's he/him pronouns, and when fighting through the generally hypermasculine trenches of shounen anime/manga it's understandable want more male characters who stay true to themselves by rejecting social norms and openly embracing their femininity...however i fear we are forgetting our history 😔 the femboy diversity hire has been here all along yall our quota is full !! really tho kiryu was MADE for the girls and the gays even without getting into his personality just look at him. the pink hair. the piercings. the accessories. the off the shoulder drip. like come on COME ONNNN give him his genderqueer props

2. THE RAWS

i don't know japanese so i can't actually get too deep into how she speaks and is referred to BUT what little i can say is this. she used to use the personal pronoun ボク (boku) [katakana] as a child, and this is a common way for young boys to address themselves, but at some point she switches to ワタシ / あたし / 私 (atashi) [katakana/hiragana/kanji] in order to present and be percieved as female/feminine. this is a form of gender expression unavailable in english due to our limited number of first person pronouns and it's extremely important to her character due to how deliberate and intentional of a decision it is (though for the sake of interpretive fairness i feel like i have to say i'm not culturally knowledgeable enough to discern if it's used in a 女性語 vs オネえ言葉 context or how/if her speech patterns fit into those categories). shizuka also specifically thinks of her as an older sister 姉 (ane) [kanji]

3. DEPTH OF INTERNAL CONFLICT

tsubaki's childhood feelings of alienation, displacement, and deception are way too extreme to come from someone who only wears women's clothes because he likes the fashion (imo). this doesn't read as a young boy who's into girly hobbies and is scared people will make fun of him for it; this reads as a young trans girl who is tormented by the act of constantly lying about who she is, but who knows that living truthfully will get her utterly rejected by the majority of the people she knows. she just doesn't have the language to explain herself beyond liking pretty things and not being like "other" boys. tumblr won't let me add another photo but the shot of her looking at her reflection in the window and calling herself a liar at the beginning of the chapter...there is something so incredibly and incommunicably transgender about those few panels

IN CONCLUSION: i don't necessarily hate the official he/him decision because it will be very very cool if nii satoru actually is playing 4d gender chess with tsubaki like that but i simply do not know or trust the editorial team enough to take their word on her english pronouns (<- is hypervigilant about microaggressions against trans women)

[daybringersol]

alloaro book recs !

took some time but alright ! well first i gotta say, i havent read any of them (yet), but i will try to find reviews online.

this is mostly based on this database (link) i found, cuz im gonna be so honest with you, its straight up the only place where i could find that information.

Commit to the kick by Tris Lawrence

Urban fantasy. Lead is a demiromantic gay man. Found family. Queer-platonic partnership, though not defined that way (not sure what that means either). Writer is a queer woman. 4.7/5 on Goodreads (link), though only with 7 ratings. Seems batshit insane tbh, the guy transforms into a bear, theres clan politics, magic and sports. Can be read online for free here (link) I think? Can also be bought as a book here (link).

Viral airwaves by Claudie Arsenault

Science fiction. One of the main characters is a gay non-binary aromantic person, and has a queerplatonic relationship with a man. Book cover is the colors of the aroallo flag. Writer is an aroace woman from Québec (sorry, that's important to me, I'm québecois). 4.09/5 on Goodreads (link). Can be bought here (link). Look in comments for more info.

The ascencion by A. M. Blaushild

Fantasy, science fiction. One of the main characters is a bisexual aromantic woman. No pairings, only friendships. Author is disabled (chronically ill & autistic) and LGBT+. Can't find that specific book anywhere gonna be honest. Still leaving this here in case I do at some point. Look in comments for more info.

Baker thief by Claudie Arsenault

Fantasy, superhero. Lead is a bisexual aromantic non-binary person. Relationships explored are family, friendship, mentor, queer-platonic relationship (with a woman). Enemies to lovers (?). Lead is mainly attracted to women and femme non-binary genders. Writer is an aroace woman from Québec. 3.95/5 on Goodreads (link). Read it online for 2.99$ USD (minimum) here (link). Can also be bought as a book here (link).

The trouble by Daria Defore

Contemporary, romance, new adult. Lead is an aromantic gay man. Around an indie rock band. Relationships explored are friendships (bandmates), but includes a M/M pairing and explicit sexual content, so I'm guessing it's a friends with benefits situation? I don't know. Written by a most likely queer woman (haven't found her saying it herself but she only writes queer fiction). 3.85/5 on Goodreads (link). Currently unavailable everywhere, including Amazon (link), Ebay (link), Thriftbooks (link), for some reason, which is unfortunate for me because I'd like to read it. First 15 pages are available on Book Read Free (link) though. If you find a way to get it, please link me up.

Mangoverse by Shira Glassman

Fantasy. A series of books. Side character is a straight aromantic woman. Woman-focused, jewish-focused. Don't know if the character is in all the books, and if not, in which ones she is. Her name is Eshvat if that helps. Lots of other queer representation in all the books though. Ratings on Goodreads (link) range from 3.70/5 to 4.35/5.

Holding Onto Day by E. H. Timms

Fantasy, science fiction, paranormal. One of the main characters is a non-binary pansexual aromantic person. Relationships explored are found family and friendships. No pairings. Written by an aroace genderqueer person (she/they). 4/5 on Goodreads (link), though only out of 15 ratings. Involves vampires and werewolves. Only available for kindle on Amazon (link).

Novis by Rachel Tonks Hill

Science fiction. One of the main characters is an allosexual (attraction not specified but I'd assume sapphic) aromantic woman. Relationships explored are queer-platonic (F/F/F) and friendships. Includes moments of microaggressions against aces and aros and a fade-to-black sex scene. Writer is non-binary, bisexual and polyamorous. 4/5 on Bookreads (link), though only out of 9 ratings. Women-focused. Available as a paperback here (link) and as a kindle here (link).

The representative by Ripley Santo

Cuil (link), erotica, dark fantasy, paranormal. One of the leads is a bisexual aromantic man. M/M/F/NB relationship explored (could be romantic or QPR, not sure. probably sexual in nature.). 0 ratings on Goodreads (link). Currently out of print on Amazon (link).

more recommendations in comments !

taglist : @sorting-algorithm

[fitsofdespair]

i have hesitated to say anything before now. in part because i removed myself from fandom discourse and really from actively discussing iwtv a year ago. i consider it all a lose-lose situation.

but also because i’m generally of the opinion that black fans don’t need people to be their white saviors, least of all me. black people have never been saved by white people. they were never just given anything when it comes to strides in equality, they fought for it and still fight for it, against constant violent pushback every step of the way. only instead of the good ole’ days when racists just called those fighting for equality uppity, they’re now “bullies” for daring to call you out on your shit after the repeated condescension and the resulting harassment you’ve exhibited towards them.

in this day and age the word bully has zero meaning anymore. i mean come on, melania trump calls people mean about her husband bullies. elon musk thinks he’s being bullied by twitter users, though he clearly holds all the power and is absolutely the problem. its become a meaningless word that goliaths use to call davids because they won’t use the real word they actually want to say. some of these popular blogs are not being bullied, they’re being held accountable for their own actions.

it’s pretty disgusting the number of you who decided to identify strongly with these users that not only fail to question their own racial biases but have gone so far as to suggest black people don’t face racism anymore. this is so fucked. tbh it can be argued in many ways white people, especially in the deep south where i’m from, are inherently raised steeped in racism, even if its not direct. just because your family aren’t ostensibly racist doesn’t mean they didn’t bake their own little prejudices into your upbringing and being raised in your environment didn’t encourage them. even if you don’t see yourself as racist, you have to unlearn all this shit, even if it never once occurred to you that you are part of it. just cause you believe in equality and don’t hate people for their color or cultural background does not make you free of perpetuating microaggressions against them. this applies to fans across the world of course. (like for you white euro iwtv fans, you may say you have no problem with black people but i’ve heard some wild things some of yall have to say about the turks.)

i understand that probably half or more of you are not usamericans. but no matter what environment you live in, no matter where you were raised, there is no excuse for your behavior. just because YOU don’t see racism in your day to day life or are in the more likely situation, too blindly comfortable in your place in society to notice it right in front of your face, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist as a constant presence in other parts of the world or isn’t deeply ensconced in online rhetoric.

so for you white iwtv fans who can’t be fucked to mention let alone defend people you, in many cases once called friend, against the absolute horseshit your current comrades are spewing wrapped up in their nice safe cocoons of victimhood, i hope you do some serious soul searching to figure out if this is who you are, a person too cowardly to call out a friend because it might cost you their friendship. a person quick to condemn others on hearsay because you couldn’t be fucked to wonder am i on the right side of this? and if you do manage to get wise and change your mind, remember its not unforgivable to say, you know what? i was wrong. i wrote in an old post that the hallmark of being a functional adult is changing your views accordingly when you learn new information or even just ruminate on what you know (i myself was a little bitch about ep 5 when it first dropped until i had to sit down and ask myself why i was actually feeling some kind of way about it). dying on a hill is not all its cracked up to be. being told you’re wrong is not always a personal attack and its often an opportunity for improvement if you can be bothered to genuinely hear other people out. an alarming number from all walks of life never figure that out. for my part, i am still learning and hope i never stop learning.

while that sentiments all nice and gooey (i mean them, but i understand its still sacharine to put out there), i am still guilty for not having directly written anything about this until now. and thats on me and i earned any flack i get for that. again, i am more of the mindset that black people don’t need white spokespeople, but that doesn’t mean they'll mind allies. and as a sidebar, going out of your way to say you are rising “above the noise” or “ignoring the drama” is absolutely your right, but it does not make you superior. it just makes you complacent with the status quo. i mean as long as you get to squee!! about anything and everything who cares about other people, right?

[ravi-is-my-beloved]

What’s your stance on the many POC that are huge Tommy fans, because he has a surprising amount of them. Do you think they’re in the wrong for enjoying him?

I don't think they're in the wrong for enjoying him, it's their choice to think he's changed and grown off-screen. I don't personally think he's changed and grown (I think he hasn't grown, he just has recognized that times changed and people higher up than him usually won't tolerate him being vocal about his thoughts), but you can think he's changed and not actively brush off/diminish what he has done in the past.

And that part is the part that bothers me. Of course, this is not a generalization of all of the Tommy fans, but this is what I see from the most vocal ones.

The problem comes when they try to say he wasn't an active participant in the bigotry (he started it in Chimney Begins) and they try to say he has canonically apologized in the Begins episodes and has canonically reported Gerrard in Hen Begins. All of that is not canon, but they use it to defend Tommy and say that all of the antis are just trying to say whatever because we don't like the ship.

There's also a rhetoric the people of color who like Tommy/Bucktommy push which is "Oh, the antis have never experienced racism in the workplace because no person of color would ever tolerate/be friendly with someone who's still racist." Which a) it erases the fact that there are people of color who don't like Tommy because of his problematic past, and b) it pushes the narrative that there's not people of color who choose to keep their head down.

We see Chimney keep his head down and not be as bold as Hen is in standing up for herself in his Begins episode. And yes, part of it was because speaking up against bigotry even in 2005 was not really normalized, but that still doesn't mean people of color don't still just keep their head down because they know it's not worth it to stand up for themselves. I've seen my mother be polite to her coworkers who ostracize her and use microaggressions against her just like what happened to Chimney.

Firefighting is a dangerous job, one where you need your coworker to like you so that they have your back, you can't just go making an enemy out of them. Sure, you can be bold, stand up for yourself, and have the outcome be good (like it was for Hen), but more often than not, it's not worth it in that line of work.

And just because you wouldn't tolerate a coworker who's still racist, doesn't mean that all people of color think the same way. We all deal with racism in different ways and some people just decide it's better to not fight it in the workplace.

So TLDR: No, the fans who are people of color who like Tommy aren't in the wrong, but how they react to other people of color who don't like Tommy and how they help push the narrative that every anti Tommy fan is white and doesn't know what they're talking about when it comes to the racism in the fandom is wrong.