#this is a sign i should go to bed probably

[redrose10]

#5 from the picture game

Warnings: Swearing, mention of suggestive stuff, maybe cheating

Thanks for the request!

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“I hate him! I hate him! I hate him.”, you shrieked throughout your small apartment after throwing your bag down on the floor. Your roommate, Sarah, concerned with all the commotion came walking out to see what was going on with you.

“Bad day?”, she questioned.

“Min Fucking Yoongi.”, you spat.

She sighed, “What did he do now?”

“Alright class, you’re going to work in small groups of two or three for this project. Pair up on your own and I’ll send around the sign up sheet for you to write down your names. Remember this project will count for 80% of your grade so it’s kind of a big deal and shouldn’t be taken lightly.”

You scanned around the room making eye contact with Namjoon. He nodded before getting up and making his way over to you. You felt relief that you would be working with not only one of the smartest guys in the school but also someone who was respectful and reliable. For some reason this school seems to have attracted every arrogant fuckboy within a 500 mile radius and you hated it.

Namjoon took a seat next to you but before he could speak someone else cleared their throat.

The leader of said fuckboys was standing right in front of you like you had summoned him by thinking too much about him. You bit your lip so hard you tasted blood.

“Hey Yoongi! Want to join our group?”, Namjoon happily asked oblivious to the tension in the air.

“He can’t. He’s already working with Tia.”, you gritted through your teeth. You knew she was a regular of Yoongi’s. Yoongi looked over at the woman who was trying to look seductive but looked more like she was in pain than anything.

“Nah we’re kind of going through a thing right now.”

Namjoon chuckled, “I get it man. You can work with Y/N and I. It’s not problem.”

Yoongi took a seat and pretended to listen to Namjoon as he came up with a game plan while you sat there and stewed in your anger. You knew Yoongi wasn’t going to lift a finger while you and Namjoon did everything yet he’d still be given a good grade.

Before you knew it class was over and Namjoon said his goodbyes before quickly running off to his next one.

You were angrily packing up your bag when you heard Yoongi speak.

“Y/N are you not going to speak to me this entire project? We have to work together.”, he asked.

You scoffed, “No we don’t. You and I both know you’re going to flake and it’ll be all on Namjoon and I to do all the work so why don’t you just do us a favor and get lost already.”

Yoongi stood up and leaned slightly over your desk, “Maybe you should get laid for once. You need to get some of that bitchiness fucked out of you.”

And with that he was gone and out the door leaving you red faced and so angry you couldn’t think straight for the rest of the day even once you finally walked through your front door.

Sarah chuckled only infuriating you more. “Y/N I get it. Yeah that was a really shitty thing to say but you do always seem to be the one to start things with him. Maybe him and Tia really are going through something and you two were the only option to work with. I just don’t know why you have this extreme hatred for the guy.”, she said after seeing your upset face.

You rolled your eyes before heading to your room and flopping down on your bed.

Was Sarah right? Are you the instigator? And if you are then you’re sure that he deserved it 99% of the time anyways.

Ever since the first day you met him he has been a thorn in your side.

You met Yoongi in Kindergarten. He sat behind you and would constantly pull on your ponytail and when you turned around he’d just sit there with a big smile. You complained to your parents who told you he probably just had a crush on you but that you should ask him to stop if you didn’t want him to do that any more.

Then in the fifth grade he was playing basketball at recess. He tried passing the ball to someone else but instead it came flying at your face breaking your nose. He was at your side in an instant using his jacket to stop the bleeding. He apologized profusely saying it was an accident but you’re sure he did it on purpose.

Your freshman year of high school he overheard that you had a huge crush on a boy named Jin. He was a year older than you and so handsome and funny. You thought maybe he liked you too until he started distancing himself. You found out a couple months later that Yoongi had told him that you had some incurable contagious skin condition.

Somehow though over the next couple years you had grown fond of Yoongi, even developing feelings for him. He had matured and was pleasant to be around. You were ecstatic when he asked you to be his date to the senior prom. The night had been going well and you really thought you were going to share your first kiss with him. The dj announced it was time for the last dance when you realized Yoongi was taking a really long time in the bathroom. Walking the halls looking for him you found him pushed up against the lockers with Mia, the prom queen, sticking her tongue practically down his throat. You ran out of the dance that night ignoring the shouts of your name coming from Yoongi who was chasing after you.

While walking home with a broken heart you made yourself a promise that you would never let Min Yoongi hurt you ever again. So much so that you ignored any contact he tried to make with you even finally going to his parents when he didn’t get the hint.

In college you tried your best to avoid him. The first year was easy. You had different majors and different friend groups. Then Sarah started dating one of his best friends Hoseok leading to there being lots of time spent together. You watched as he often left the hangouts with some random woman he met. You’d always roll your eyes realizing he never changed. He always had something to say to you or about you too. His little comments here and there to purposely get under your skin only added to your irritation.

Maybe that’s why your first emotion around him now is always anger.

Thankfully your emotional day helped you swiftly fall into dreamland and stop thinking about him.

“Y/N, let’s go!!”,Sarah shouted from behind your door.

“Be right there.”

You took one final look at your outfit. Your dress was a little tighter than normal but you were hoping to get the attention of this guy you met on campus, Taehyung. You weren’t really into going to parties but you were in a pretty good mood since Yoongi had skipped class all week as expected of him and once Taehyung asked you if you were going to be at this party you were quick to agree.

The smell of alcohol and sweat and just dirty funk quickly hit your senses. You’d think they could’ve sprung for a couple $1 air fresheners but what could you expect from a bunch of college guys.

Once further into the home you were able to easily spot Taehyung. He walked over with two bottles of beer. One was still sealed which he cracked open for you. You appreciated his thoughtfulness.

You were really starting to like Tae, as he told you to call him. He was funny, gentle, dangerously handsome. You could see yourself having a future with him. He went off to get you another beer when you felt someone’s glare on you.

Yoongi was also at the party. You should’ve known. It was a perfect spot for him to prey on some woman who was too buzzed to care. He was leaning up against the wall, head slightly cocked while looking at you. He was wearing a black hoodie that fit him perfectly, rings adorned his long fingers, that stupid headband he’d been into wearing recently. You hated him but you hated it more that he still had an effect on you because you couldn’t stop thinking about how good he looked.

He smirked when he noticed you staring at him. Your body only heated up more when you noticed him looking you up and down.

“Y/N…I didn’t think parties were your thing.”, he said after walking over.

“Well I’m here with someone else. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“Uh yeah I saw that you were here with Taehyung. You should really think twice about him.”

You rolled your eyes, “Then why don’t you do something to ruin it for me Yoongi? That seems to be what you’re best at.”

Thanks to the darkness of the party you didn’t see his confidence falter a little at your words.

“Look Y/N I don’t give a fuck what you do. I’m just saying maybe don’t get too hung up on him.”

He left and walked past you into the kitchen leaving you feeling uneasy but Tae showed up just in time with another beer to take your mind off of him.

Two hours later, eight beers, and countless songs danced to you were needing some air. It had been a long time since you were this buzzed. Sarah was long gone with her date so it looked like you were going to get your wish of going home with Taehyung.

He walked you outside to sit on a bench underneath a big oak tree on the property.

“You alright?”, he chuckled after you let out a long sigh.

“Yeah just tired.”

Taehyung remained silent as you took in the night sky. For some reason that you hated, Yoongi was heavily on your mind. You figured that by now he was probably on his second hookup of the night which only hurt you more making your stomach just a little more nauseous.

“Hey uh Y/N can I ask you something?”, Taehyung spoke from next to you.

Your body woke up with excitement.

“Of course.”, you nodded.

“Your friend Sarah…Is she…Is she seeing anyone?”

You stared at him in disbelief. He wasn’t interested in you at all. The whole reason he asked you to the party was to get the details on your friend.

Feeling like you were going to cry or throw up, maybe both you stood up to begin walking home.

“Let me get you home safe.”, Taehyung said reaching for your hand.

You tried to pull away but a third hand grabbed yours first instead.

“No thanks. I’ve got her.”, a familiar voice broke the silence.

Yoongi was already leading you to his car before you could even protest.

He helped you into your apartment and to your bed. He’d been there several times when Hoseok and Sarah were dating so he knew his way around.

You were broken hearted once again and nauseous and exhausted and just didn’t have the strength to fight him any more.

You told yourself you were definitely never drinking again especially after the last thing you remembered being you asking Yoongi to stay and lay with you for a while.

And thankfully you remembered asking him that because if you hadn’t you probably would’ve woken up half the city with your screaming when you woke up and saw him peacefully sleeping next to you. You tried your best to get out of bed without him noticing but it didn’t go as planned.

When he woke up he looked even more shocked than you did. He jumped out of bed only to land awkwardly on some books which caused him to slip and end up on the floor with a loud thud. You stifled a giggle as he hastily got himself up again.

“Fuck Y/N I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. Nothing happened. I swear I didn’t try to pull anything funny. You were crying and you asked me to stay and I felt bad. I was only gonna stay until you fell asleep but I must’ve dozed off myself. It’s these classes are killing me and I’m working two jobs and I’m just exhausted.”

“Yoongi it’s okay. I remember asking you to stay. It was an accident.”, you said trying to calm him down.

He looked at you wearily, “Are you feeling okay? The Y/N that I know would’ve already threaten to chop my balls off and shove them down my throat.”

You chuckled, “Yeah well this Y/N, is pretty hungover so I’m gonna let it go this time.”

He relaxed a little and sat back down on your end which did annoy you a little but you let it slide because the prior nights events were slowly coming back to you and you had some questions.

“Hey Yoongi, did you know that Taehyung only asked me to the party so he could ask about Sarah?”

He slid his tongue over his teeth. A habit of his he did when he was nervous. He nodded, “Uh yeah. He mentioned something about it to Jimin and then it got back to me.”

“So is that why you tried to get me to stop talking to him?”

He nodded.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?”

You scoffed? “Well you kind of have a history of hurting me more than helping me so I’m just wondering why all of a sudden you cared enough to try and stop me from getting hurt?”

Yoongi turned to stare at you. His face flushing, either from anger or embarrassment, you weren’t really sure.

He sat fidgeting with his rings for a moment before looking at you, “Y/N…that night…that night at the prom. I didn’t kiss that girl.”, he paused, “I had written you a song. It was stupid and cheesy actually…”, he chuckled, “I forgot it in my locker so I told you that I had to go to the bathroom so I could go get it. Mia came up to me. She knew I liked you and she always hated it. She said it was the last dance and you were looking for me. I tried to push past her but as soon as I did she pushed me against the locker and kissed me. She knew you were standing there. She wanted you to see. I chased after you but you wouldn’t stop. I stopped shouting your name but I followed you home to make sure you got there safely.”, he shook his head, “You never answered any of my texts or calls. I even did dumb shit like leaving notes in your locker. Then my parents told me that I needed to back off before I got in trouble so I let you go. I guess I was childish and built some resent towards you. I’ve liked you ever since kindergarten when I used to pull on your ponytail with that ridiculous Minnie Mouse clip you always used to wear. And you just completely cut me off without letting me explain. I was hurt and started acting out towards you.”, he sighed, “I’m sorry Y/N. For all the messed up stuff I’ve said to you. I didn’t mean any of it. I guess I…I guess I just wanted to push you away from me. The further you were the less I remembered about how I broke your heart and how I never even got the chance.”

You stared at him in disbelief.

“So all this time you liked me?”

He nodded.

“Is that why you told Jin I had a contagious disease? Because you knew we liked each other?”

He chuckled at that, “Yeah I did. I was a little bit jealous and come on Y/N, you knew you could do better than him. He was more beauty than brains. I mean I told him you had stage 4 Cootie-Cockilus and he believed me…”

Laughter erupted in the room.

“Okay maybe that one helped me more than I thought.”, you laughed.

The room fell back into an awkward yet comfortable silence.

“Y/N, can we start over…please.”, Yoongi suddenly asked.

Bitingng your lip in thought you finally nodded in agreement, “Yeah I’d like that.”

“Alright well let’s get some breakfast then. I know a great cafe just outside of campus.”, he said motioning for you to follow him.

You grabbed your bag and walked in front of him.

Just before your hand reached the door handle you felt a tiny little tug on the end of your ponytail.

Your heart skipped a beat making you stop.

The biggest gummy smile greeted you when you turned around to playfully eye culprit.

[ghostsslutss]

joost klein x vodka soda x rex club x chips and salsa

heres your order:

joost klien x f!reader

tags: cheating , degradation, praise, size kink

fuck why why did I do this. You thought. Your boyfriend went on a lad's trip with his friends, knowing him he was probably drunk clubbing in Ibiza. Joost Klein was your ex, that pesky ex that didn’t care if you had a boyfriend still. How his cock used to pound you endlessly again and again made you wet so bad. How his large hands managed to cover the whole of your throat while choking you. or how he used to pick you up so easily.

-

You were doing a DJ at the escape in Amsterdam, you dated Joost in private to avoid media and rumours. But it was one of the best times of your life. The love still burned within you for him, not for your boyfriend. For months you tried to avoid the pain of cheating on your boyfriend. But you wanted that fucking blonde so bad.

After your set, you left backstage. Hearing a swarm of fans, it probably was for you you opened the door to see him. that fucking idiot. Joost. There were people all around him asking for pictures one by one he signed them. Flirting and complimenting his fans, made you sick to your stomach. He should be praising you not them. as the crowd died down. Joost walked towards you, he was wearing one of his ridiculous outfit statements again. Kilt, tie and polo shirt with socks that go up way too high then some trainers. With his oversized glasses and messy mullet to finish the look.

“coming back to me again?”

Joost teased. You rolled your eyes crossing your arms and looking at him up and down. The fact he looked so hot made you clench your teeth. fuck. His blue eyes glared at you, wondering what was going on in your head. You finally snapped back into reality, covering your mouth and looking away.

“shut up joost.”

you mumbled, he grabbed you by the hips. Pulling you towards him. His tall frame towering over you. Feeling all of your curves, he inhaled deeply. Take in all of your alluring, strong perfume. You didn’t want to push him away. He felt and smelt too good. Forgive me father I have sinned.

“beautiful than ever.”

you tried to look away, his hand grabbing your chin. He bent down to adjust to your height and began kissing you deeply in the middle of the streets of Amsterdam. Tasting all of you, you softly moaned as he pulled away. A string of saliva left when he pulled away.

“lets go to yours it’s near isn’t it, little one.”

He grabbed your hand softly, watching you lead him the way. He was your protector, guard dog. That man would do anything to protect you. As you walked down the streets of Amsterdam people turned heads as Joost glared at people, watching people to not even look at you or touch you.

as you unlocked the door to your apartment, Joost quickly went in, throwing his shoes wherever they landed. of course he didn't give two fucks, he just wanted to fuck that sweet sweet pussy.

He went down to his knees, taking off your shoes and kissing your leg. As soon as he stood up, you slightly blushed struggling to keep eye contact as he towered over you again. Joost knew your weak points unlike your boyfriend did. He picked you up, you gasping as soon as he did.

“little one don’t worry.”

he smiled as he hummed one of his songs as he walked into your bedroom. Same room with the same Ikea furniture before he left. What a cheap useless boyfriend he thought. He gently placed you on the bed, taking your clothes off until your fully naked body was on full show to him. he licked his lips, already feeling his cock straining through his boxers. Joost started from your neck, kissing you softly. He moved to your tits, putting one in his mouth and sucking it softly.

“my favourite body part.”

you nodded as you moaned softly. Your breathing going more rapid and he moved down. He took his face away from your thighs. he pulled his kilt down and then his boxers. Revealing his lengthy and straining cock, you drooled at the sight of it. How you missed it railing you all night.

“on all fours.”

You obeyed like a dog. Arching your back for him, as he thrusted into you. You gasped. Your walls squeezing against his cock. he rolled his head back, groaning loudly. He delved deeper into you, penetrating you slowly but deeply. His nails dug on to your waist and he thrusted in to you.

“your boyfriend wont fuck you like this. hm?”

[batsclass101-blog]

Brick On the Head - Part 3

—————

It had been three weeks since Tim had debuted as Kea and none of the family had caught him yet. Both Oracle and Kea gloated at the development, it was nice to have a leg up on the rest of the bats.

Tim hadn’t realized just how much he missed regular patrol until he was back at it. He took to the streets as soon as the sun went down and engaged in frequent bat stalking on the slow nights. Yes, he was loving his life.

Unfortunately the growth pains returned with a vengeance and it was making patrol difficult. Kea shifted from his position on the roof of an old factory. He needed a good stretch, a hot bath and a full fridge of food. A frown tugged at his lips as he glanced at the sleeves of his costume…

“Come onnnnn. Two inches too short already.” Tim frowned deeper. “Alfred is going to notice… and bench me again.” He scowled in the dark and popped his back.

The night had been relatively quiet, only a couple muggings and one bank heist. He glanced at the time and grimaced as deep aches wracked his body. Never had his bed called more loudly.

“O, I’m headed in for the night.” Even his even tone sounded achy. He grappled off the building and found his bike.

“Early night. You good K?”

“Another growth spurt. I’m going to have to get the suit adjusted again…”

“Again?”

“Yeh… Alfred is gonna bench me probably.”

“Sounds like you might need it, Bat-giant. Maybe we should call you big bird?”

“Real funny, O.” Tim rolled his eyes and sped off towards the manor.

“You know NW is going to use that one.”

“Well, it all depends on when he takes notice at how big I’ve grown… I need all new clothes but I’ve been too busy.” His voice grew to a grumble.

“What about grabbing some of Jason’s clothes?”

“Not a chance, they’re too short. I’ll just have to bite the bullet and ask Alfred for help. I’m too tired to go shopping.”

“Well, get some rest Kea. Signing off.”

————

It had taken him two more weeks of dodging everyone before he’d approached Alfred. Alfred had took one look at Tim and his uniform once he’d fessed up and had returned him to light duty… and contacted Dr. Thompkins. Tim knew better than to voice his irritation… but he was definitely irritated. She’d told him that this should be the last of his growth spurts. Relief had flooded him at the announcement.

“So I’m done?”

“As far as I can tell.” She eyed his chart and then looked him over. “But at 6 foot 10 I’m going to insist you up your calorie intake. You’re far under the weight needed for your frame.” She examined his arm muscles carefully. “Your muscle tone and structure has shifted as well. You’ve bulked up some. However, you should be much heavier and be intaking more calories. I’ve already talked to Alfred and I expect significant weight gain and new muscle definition.”

Tim simply stared and nodded his head. He’d gone from one of the shortest bats to the tallest. No longer could his older brothers or father dwarf him. The only downside was adjusting his fighting style a little. He considered how intimidating his new height would be and how he could use it against criminals… Mostly though he thought about taunting his brothers.

————-

Two more weeks passed before Alfred, Tim and Babs had decided to break the news. They waited until patrol was ended and Tim had donned his new costume. He blended into the shadows and prepared for his family.

It didn’t take long for everyone to slip off their cowls and dominos, but Tim waited..: and waited until relaxation had set in. Only then did he swoop in. He glided down from a hidden ledge and spread his cape dramatically. Silently he landed behind the group.

“What took you so long?”

Batman turned and glared. There was no other response but a twinge in his cheek let Tim know he’d startled him.

“Did you get stilts?” Jason scoffed. “You look ridiculous. Just because you’re short—-“

“How?” Bruce set down at the bat-computer and stared at Tim.

“Science… Bruce. Science.”

[pascaloverx]

Sweet Love

Summary: You're an up-and-coming writer, congratulations. To protect your beloved job, you're willing to do anything. Even strike a deal with the devil, better known as your sister's neighbor. You and Dean Winchester don't really see eye to eye, but in a moment of desperation, you agree to collaborate with him for a greater good.

Author's Notes: Many characters do not belong to me but to the Supernatural Universe (2005-2020). I hope you enjoy the fanfic's story. The fanfic will contain strong language and adult content. Dear readers, I'm here to let you know that if you enjoy this fic, please engage with it. Comments and likes are welcome. I appreciate everyone who follows this fanfic. Anyway, enjoy this chapter.

chapter nine

FINAL CHAPTER

The alarm rings, waking you up. It’s not even eight in the morning yet, but you need to adjust to your new life. You and Dean Winchester have been dating for almost two years, which is quite a while. You’re still neighbors, actually, and ever since your relationship changed drastically, he’s been trying to marry you. But all of this happened because, during a night of reconciliation, you both forgot to use protection, and nine months later, you gave birth to a baby. You had your moment of panic when you found out you were going to have a child with Dean.

You get out of bed, hearing your son crying from his room. "Bobby, mommy's coming to get you," you mumble as you quickly get up to grab your son. As soon as you reach his room and approach his crib, he stops crying.

"Who’s the most beautiful baby in the world?" you ask as you pick up your son and gently rock him. He’s too distracted trying to chew on your hair to pay attention to anything you say. Suddenly, the doorbell rings, making your son fidget excitedly. You rush to open the door.

"I knew my little boy would be awake." Bobby smiles when he sees his father at the door. Dean takes the baby in his arms and gives him a hug.

"Can you stay with him while I get ready? I don't want to make us late." You speak between yawns, while Dean nods, playing with little Bobby's hands, who is having a great time in his father's arms. You start picking out the right outfit for the occasion. Sam proposed to your sister, and today is the celebratory lunch for the newly engaged couple.

"Don't you find it odd that our siblings are getting married before us, even though we've already built a new life together?" Dean asks as he watches you from the door of your room. You look at him seriously. He knows you avoid discussing marriage. Having Bob was unexpected and unplanned. You want your marriage to be about something more than just that. Dean, on the other hand, wants to marry to provide a family for your son.

"We rushed the relationship process. They’re following the right flow. What’s really strange is that you’ve already slept with me and with your future sister-in-law. Do you think I should wear this red dress or this black dress?" you ask, showing Dean the options. He examines the dresses for a moment, while Bobby also looks at you with a sleepy expression.

"I prefer the black one; it will highlight your curves better. By the way, I like how things worked out for us. We didn’t plan to have Bobby so soon, but eventually, we would have had a child, right?" Dean starts rocking Bobby in his arms, resting the baby’s head against his chest. Bobby snuggles so comfortably in Dean’s arms, it melts your heart. You grab your clothes and toiletries to head to the bathroom for a shower. However, your silence about Dean’s question clearly bothers him.

"I don’t know, darling. You work so much with your investigations and the reports you publish, and when I release a book, I spend more time on tour signing it than at home. Without Bobby, we probably…" You realize you’re about to say something regrettable, but it’s already too late. You didn’t want to imply that you wouldn’t see a future with Dean if you didn’t have your baby, but that’s exactly what you ended up saying.

"So, from what I understand, we’re not going to get married because we had a child, and the only reason we’re together is because we’re parents of the same baby?" Dean says, visibly irritated, and you can tell from his furious expression that even the fact that Bobby is sleeping in his arms hasn’t calmed him down.

"I know what I said might have sounded that way, but that’s not what I meant. I just wanted to say that no one knows what our future would be like if our child hadn’t been born. But eventually, we will get married. It’s just that as long as I feel like you want to marry me because Bobby needs married parents, I won’t agree to marry you." At that moment, you feel as if you can’t quite express yourself properly. The father of your child seems to be getting more stressed. You drop the outfit you were planning to wear for your sister’s engagement celebration on the bed. You want to try and approach him, but he looks uncomfortable, creating a tense distance between you two.

"I’ll take the reason we're still together to change his diaper and put on his new clothes. Enjoy your shower," Dean says with a certain sharpness in his tone, preventing you from fully approaching him. You feel bad, maybe even a bit foolish.

"Dean, I didn’t mean to offend you. Or our relationship, just try to…" You can’t finish your sentence because he closes Bobby’s bedroom door in your face. You can hear him playing with your son while likely changing him. So, you turn, heading toward your bedroom to grab your clothes and take a shower. The weight of guilt lingers on your shoulders the entire time, and all you want is for this argument to be over.

Your shower ends up being longer than you intended, mostly because you’re not eager to leave and face more tension with your boyfriend. When you finally finish, you hurry to your room, getting dressed quickly, then fixing your makeup and hair. Dean still seems to be in Bobby’s room with him, probably avoiding further confrontation as well. The silence between you two feels heavy, but you know you’ll need to face it eventually.

"Do you want to talk?" Dean says, appearing behind you, leaning against the doorframe. You glance at him while finishing your lipstick, wondering if this is the moment he’s going to break up with you. There’s a pause, and the tension feels almost unbearable as you try to read his expression. His face is serious, but there's something softer in his eyes, maybe a hint of frustration mixed with hurt.

"I’m not with you just because we had a child, I want to make that clear. I love our family and wouldn’t change anything about it," you say, standing up from your vanity and slowly walking toward Dean. Before he has a chance to respond, you gently kiss him, as if needing that kiss to confirm that everything will be alright. But even as your lips touch his, Dean doesn’t seem to want you close. He gently pushes you away, carefully, as if he doesn’t want to hurt you, but at the same time, he clearly doesn’t want your closeness right now. The distance between you grows, not just physically but emotionally too, and it stings more than words.

"I love you, I love our family. But you and I… we’re not going anywhere. What I mean is, if I still have to prove my intentions about marriage after two years, then what’s the point of all this? You don’t want to marry me, and you just won’t admit it because you don’t want to lose me. But it’s wrong to want to keep me at arm’s length when I’ll never fully be yours. Just like it’s wrong for me to want to keep you as my girlfriend when we’ll never be more than that. And if you don’t want that, it’s fine. But I do. For the sake of our relationship, we have to stop fooling ourselves," Dean says, holding your hands against his chest, his forehead resting against yours. Tears are falling from both of you, though you try to be strong for the sake of your son. The weight of his words sinks in, and the emotions are heavy, but the truth in them is undeniable.

"Ending our relationship isn’t fair. You know you love me, and I love you. We have a child together. Isn’t that enough for you?" you say, your voice breaking with sobs and tears. At this point, it doesn’t matter if your makeup is smudged, if you wish this conversation had never happened, or anything else. The only thing that matters is the ache in your chest and the fear of losing the person you love, the father of your child.

"I want to keep respecting you. I want you to be the woman you are, to have what you want. But I’m not what you want, not anymore. And maybe what’s changed between us is that our futures aren’t the same anymore. Bobby will always be our bond, our son. Our love can last forever, but only if we let the romantic side of it fade away," Dean speaks softly, as if he's at peace with what he's saying. But you can't find that same peace. The words feel like a knife twisting in your chest, and the idea of losing him in this way—letting go of the romantic love you share—is unbearable. You don’t want to accept that this could be the end, even if he sounds so calm, almost resigned.

"I don’t want to lose you, Dean. Maybe we could make some kind of concession to each other. You could move in with me, or we could be like those couples who stay engaged for a long time before actually getting married. Please." You’re bargaining with the father of your child, hoping he’ll reconsider what seems like a definitive decision. But he pulls back, as if he’s unwilling to give in.

"You will never lose me. But I don’t think there’s a solution for our romantic situation. It’s ridiculous that it’s at a moment like this, but we need to understand what we have to do. As parents, we need to give our best for our child. If we continue dating, my resentment towards you will overshadow everything. And you’ll never fully trust me romantically. I’m grateful for you being by my side, showing me how beautiful love can be, and for the child we share, but we’ll have to go our separate ways when it comes to romance." Dean says, pulling away, wiping the tears from his face, and composing himself while you feel like a storm is dragging you away.

"Is it over then?" is all you manage to say amid the chaos of emotions you're feeling. Dean looks at you as he steps back further, preparing to leave.

"Until we can be on the same page about our future and what we want from each other, yes. You’re free, and so am I. I know it won’t be easy, that we’ll need to adjust some arrangements involving Bobby, but I’ll try to be the best father our son deserves. I’ll get ready in my apartment, and I assume you’ll want to go in separate cars. I’ll respect whatever you decide." Dean says, looking at you as if he’s waiting for confirmation that you understand he’s breaking your heart, but it’s for the greater good. You think about yelling, throwing something at him, or doing something dramatic, but your son must be sleeping in the next room, and disturbing him is the last thing you want.

"I want you to leave. I’ll take Bobby later. Don’t expect me to act like everything is fine, but I’ll do my best to be decent and not ruin my sister’s and your brother’s day. Now, just go, Winchester." You say, controlling yourself as much as possible to avoid breaking down and losing your composure. Dean hears your words and seems like he wants to come to you, to comfort you. But how could he fix what’s breaking? So, he leaves, taking part of you with him. You then try to collect yourself, going to your son and holding him in your arms while he sleeps peacefully. At least you have him amid all this.

END

[philomenie]

RIDE THROUGH AN AUTUMN NIGHT

Pairing: Jolly x Alice

CN: angst, grief, break up, mention of cheating, drugs, alcohol, fluff

@reyadawn @nojoyontheburn @dsireland86 @jilliemiw86 @fadingintothegrey @aubrey-melinoe

dividers by @saradika-graphics

Exhausted from lack of sleep and jet lag, Jolly stands at the car rental counter at Stockholm airport waiting to finally get the damn keys to his rental car.

The last few hours seem almost surreal to him... he's now been traveling for almost 13 hours, and on top of that he's hardly slept at all, as he left straight after the last concert in L.A., went to the airport, waited there for the next available flight to Stockholm, which fortunately wasn't fully booked and left in less than half an hour.

So now he's in Stockholm, overnighted, exhausted, without luggage, in sweatpants and a hoodie, although at this time of year, unlike in warm California, it can get pretty cold in Stockholm.

The last rays of sunshine on this sunny October day have long since faded and it is already dark.

Jolly needs nothing more than a bed and a good night's sleep, but he has to go through with what he has planned.

He is afraid that once he is asleep about everything, his courage might leave him and he knows that if he retreats now, he will probably never have the courage to do what he wants to do, needs to do.

He is now firmly convinced that he simply MUST do it. He MUST seize this opportunity, this last opportunity, to perhaps have a minimal chance of saving what he so carelessly threw away so long ago. The love and affection of Alice.

The woman who once meant the world to him and whom he first abandoned and then repressed. Repressed, not forgotten, because he could never really forget her completely.

Whether it was a one-night stand, friendship plus or a relationship after Alice, he had unconsciously compared every woman to her, as he had realized in the last few hours on the plane.

He thought long and hard and came to the conclusion that he was a huge fucking asshole who too often just wanted to have fun and live the rock star life to the full.

Whether it was women, partying or the occasional drug, alcohol.... He lived his life to the limit for a long time without showing much consideration for others. Others who should have meant something to him, meant something to him, like Alice....

FUCK, what an idiot he was.

Lately, or rather in the last two or three years, he has slowly realized that this life isn't everything, can't be everything, and he has taken a step back, no more random one-night stands, no more drugs, hardly any alcohol, hardly any parties.

Somehow he's only really grown up now, in his mid-30s, and has realized what's really important in life....

The decisive factor was actually his last failed relationship, when his girlfriend at the time accused him of only being half-hearted about it, of not fully committing to her and the relationship.

This got Jolly thinking six months ago and he realized that his heart was still attached to Alice, as his thoughts kept wandering back to her and the questions of 'what if' and 'what could have been' still dominated his thoughts and feelings.

“Right Mr. Karlsson... here are the papers I need you to sign here and here..... and here are the keys to your hire car!” smiles the young woman behind the counter, snapping Jolly out of his thoughts.

He looks at her, irritated.

“You still have to sign here and here!” she explains kindly a second time and pushes the rental agreement and the insurance contract towards Jolly.

“Um... yes, sorry, I was thinking it!” mumbles Jolly and quickly signs the papers, then has the key handed to him.

“The car is in our parking lot, right here at the airport, you can't miss it if you go straight out through the main exit.... Parking lot number 14!” explains the young woman with a smile, ”Have a nice stay in Stockholm!”

“Hmm, thanks!” nods Jolly and walks off, out of the building, where the cold, crisp fall air rushes towards him.

Jolly stops for a moment and takes a deep breath of the fresh air, closing his eyes briefly. The smell of home runs through his head and a pleasant shiver runs through his body.

Home... what does that actually mean to him now?

Is it California, L.A.?

Or is it rather Sweden....

In the past, he would have said L.A., his new home, without batting an eyelid, but right now he feels a certainty deep inside him that this is his real home, always has been and always will be.

His roots are here and perhaps it is time for him to realize what that means.

Home.... Jolly also knows that it's not just a place, a feeling, but also a person.... His home has always been Alice. With her, he felt safe, loved, understood, accepted just as he is, wasn't questioned, didn't try to change.... He was simply allowed to be himself..... just be....

He could just kick himself in the ass for throwing it away like that... God you asshole, you moron, he thinks to himself angrily!

Jolly quickly finds the car, a silver-colored SUV from Volvo... a Volvo, of course... what else here in Sweden, he thinks to himself and has to grin.

He gets in, then sets the sat nav before driving off.

Fuck, three and a half hours' drive, and it's already past 9 pm... which means he won't be in Jönköping, or rather Husqvarna, a suburb of Jönköping, until half past twelve. His old hometown, where he was born and raised, where he took his first steps in the music business with his first band, where he met and fell in love with Alice.... The place he was all too ready to leave, just as he was all too ready to leave Alice. For a career in America.... For a life to his liking..... an extraordinary life.

But this extraordinary life has been demanding a lot from him lately, almost too much if he is honest with himself.

Sighing, he turns the ignition key in the lock and starts the car, drives out of the parking lot, letting himself be guided by the voice of the navigation system in the dark, starry autumn night.

Jolly's thoughts drift back to the previous day, the concert they played, which was something of a turning point in his life, depending entirely on the outcome of the conversation Jolly wants to try and have.

Nevertheless, he already knows that no matter how the conversation turns out, he won't be the same person he was before.

Too much has happened at once, he's learned things he didn't know, never thought he would, and he's realized how much he's hurt Alice.

God, she won't listen to me anyway, probably won't even let me get a word in edgewise, if she even opens the door....

Jolly becomes uncertain.

Damn it, shouldn't he go to a hotel after all.... NO, at least he has to go to Jönköping today. He can stay in a hotel there.

He doesn't want to go to his parents, especially as they don't even know he's here. He hasn't told anyone that he's coming.

Of his bandmates, he only told Noah because he came to the conversation, if you can call it that, that he had after the concert.

Jolly is sure that Noah has told everyone by now that he had to leave urgently.

He can still remember Noah's words: “If you're going to do it, do it properly, be honest, just go completely naked if you want to have another chance with her!”

And that's exactly what he plans to do!

Kilometer after kilometer passes in the starry night. Jolly has opened the window a crack to feel the fresh, cold air on his skin and to dispel his tiredness.

He takes a few deep breaths in and out.

He reviews what has just happened in his mind's eye.

During the concert, he had already noticed the young woman standing near the barricade with her friends. The first time he consciously looked at her, he messed up the chord, which earned him an irritated look from Noah. Normally, he never messes up.

But he was too perplexed, because at first he really thought he was looking at Alice. About the same height, same figure, even the same hair color, almost exactly the same facial features.... Even the dimples when she laughed were identical.

This woman looked exactly like Alice did when he left her, nine years ago...

Jolly had to keep looking at her, which her friends also noticed and pointed out to her. The cool, disparaging look that he then received from ice-blue eyes made it clear to him that it couldn't be Alice, as Alice has green eyes, but he was familiar with this look and had already received it in the past.

From Maja, Alice's little sister, who is 10 years younger than Alice and hated him with a passion back then. That definitely hasn't changed, in fact it has intensified.

After the concert, he practically stormed off the stage, more or less threw his guitar into Josh's arms and went down to the barricade, but Maja and her friends were nowhere to be seen.

Fuck... he just has to find them and ask for Alice....

He had searched social media for her some time ago, but couldn't find her profile. His internet search revealed that she still lives in Jönköping, Husqvarna. In a typical Swedish house on the edge of a small settlement, just as she always wanted.

A lump then formed in Jolly's throat as he recalled some of the conversations they had.

At the beginning of their relationship, when they were just 20 years old, Alice and he often played a game, What if....? A question and answer game

What if I'm 30 years old... Alice once asked.... He still remembers this question very well, including his answer!

Then we're married and you're touring the world with me because I'm a famous rock star....

Jolly feels that lump in his throat again and angrily punches the steering wheel.... FUCK!!!

God, they were so young and so in love.... Alice was friends with Petter's sister and once happened to be at a band rehearsal in Petter's basement.

They had both fallen head over heels in love with each other. However, it took a while before they finally got together because both were too shy and insecure at first to reveal their feelings to the other.

Heavens, when Jolly thinks about it now, he gets the same weak knees and that tugging in his stomach, in his chest, as he did back then, whenever he thought about Alice or saw her.

He can even smell her scent if he closes his eyes for a moment, which isn't safe considering he's sitting in a car right now and driving. Lavender. Alice has always smelled of lavender.

A flower that even he knows, as his mother has dozens of lavender bushes among her roses in her garden.

Alice was always at his side, at every performance, whenever she could manage it.

They were inseparable.

Until... until he became something like a megalomaniac! In any case, at some point everything was too small, too little, not spectacular enough for him. He wanted more, much more. Fame, success and, stupidly, other women who willingly offered themselves to him.

After every infidelity, he crawled back to Alice in remorse, promising her again and again that it would never happen again. After every drunken binge, he swore to her that he would drink less or nothing more. Because as soon as he got drunk and Alice wasn't with him, he ended up back in bed with some girl anyway.

He still doesn't know why Alice kept taking him back. She seemed to be able to forgive him for all that.

Maybe because they were simply made for each other, she knew that, only he had forgotten it?

FUCK.... Alice was just perfect for him, in every way.

Her silky dark brown hair that shimmered reddish in the sunlight. Her green eyes that sparkled like emeralds, her cherry-red, full lips that he loved to kiss so much, her dimples when she laughed. Her sparkling laugh in general, which always made him weak.

Her delicate hands with the many silver rings, her perfect ears with the piercings. Her swan-like neck, which he loved to cover with kisses.

Her narrow waist, which he loved to embrace, to pull her towards him, to signal to everyone that she was his and only his.

At some point, he began to pull away from her more and more, partly out of a guilty conscience, partly out of selfishness.

Maja more than hated him at this point and showed it openly as soon as they met.

Jolly has to think about her last evening.

Alice must have known back then when he turned up at her door. With his hoodie and baseball cap pulled over his face, his hands buried deep in his trouser pockets, staring at the floor as he began to speak haltingly.

She was still defending him against everyone and anyone at this point, not letting anyone say a bad word about him, even when he hurt her, unconsciously but also consciously... in the end it was mostly conscious and he didn't care.

That absolute shitty evening when he stood stammering on the porch outside her parents' house and told her that he was leaving and that he was therefore ending their relationship, he knew for a fact that he was breaking her heart.

She plunged into an absolute hole of despair and he hardly cared because he told himself that it was the right thing to do, that it was time to move on, to get to know new things, to start a new life....

HE decided what Alice wanted didn't count for anything at that point.

Jolly angrily hits the steering wheel again.

Damn selfish idiot, he growls again and again.

Maja then appeared at some point and shouted at him because she had heard her sister crying. The girl hit him and shouted that he should fuck off, preferably die and never come back, just leave her sister alone.

Jolly was almost right, he could practically escape from the situation, which he did without looking back once.

He blocked out Alice's sobs until he drove away with screeching tires.

FUCK..... Now he remembers this little detail, just before he started talking.... Alice said we need to talk.... Jolly thought she meant their relationship, that it's at ground zero right now, disastrous, messy, destructive!

Now he knows she wanted to talk about something else... FUCK!!!!

If only he had listened to her once....

If only he'd let her talk first....

However, he's not sure if that would have made much difference at the time.

FUCK, he really is the biggest scum.…

Jolly has to stop because he feels sick and dizzy, so he pulls into a parking bay on the side of the road, switches off the engine and pulls open the driver's door, sucking the crisp autumn air into his lungs.

Slowly, the dizziness and nausea get better.

Damn... he hasn't eaten or drunk anything for a long time....

Just as he is about to let the navigation system search for a gas station or a snack bar, his cell phone buzzes.

It's Noah.

“Arrived safely?” he wants to know immediately.

“Hmm,” grumbles Jolly in agreement.

“So, are you in Jönköping yet?” Noah continues.

“Not yet... I've still got a good two hours' drive ahead of me!” gulps Jolly.

“Fuck... have you slept at all?” Noah asks anxiously.

“Some.....” Jolly qualifies, stifling a yawn.

“Are you still going to see her today?” Noah asks.

“Honestly... no idea right now!” growls Jolly, ”Since I've been on the road, I've been thinking about everything, what mistakes I've made, how much I've hurt her.... But also how much I loved her... how much I still love her...... Noah, she was THE one... and I broke everything, threw everything away.... How am I supposed to just show up at her door in the middle of the night after almost 10 years and beg for forgiveness? Beg her for forgiveness with the idiotic hope that she'll take me back?”

“You can only try, what she does then is not in your power to influence!” Noah explains seriously, ”Like I said, get naked! If she really means as much to you as you said, then this is your only chance!”

“I know..... but I'm scared shitless right now!” whispers Jolly harshly, ”So much depends on it.”

“Exactly, that's why!” hisses Noah, ”Jesus, Jolly, since when are you such a doubter? You're not a coward! Face up to everything, admit your mistakes and hope for the best, that's all you can do!”

“Yes, I am a coward... I was and I probably still am.....” mumbles Jolly, embarrassed.

“Then face it!” Noah declares seriously, ”Just do it!”

“Hmm” grumbles Jolly.

“Listen, let me know when you've arrived and what you want to do then. Maybe you'll have a bit more clarity by then!” Noah explains gently, ‘And one thing you shouldn't forget, despite everything, is what Maja's girlfriend blurted out!’ he then grins.

“Hmm” nods Jolly, a little more hopefully.

“So! Stand your ground and don't run away!” Noah reiterates to Jolly before hanging up.

Jolly stares thoughtfully at the display of his cell phone.... The words of Maja's girlfriend still clear in his ear.

FUCK, he has to try, Noah is right, so he sits back down, closes the car door and drives off again.

However, he makes a little detour to the nearest gas station and stocks up on various snacks and drinks, as his blood sugar feels off the charts.

After he has consumed most of the snacks and 2 cans of Coke, he feels better again. Not just physically, but mentally too, so he is determined to go through with it.

Preferably tonight!

The longer he drives towards Jönköping, towards Alice, the stronger his longing for her becomes. God, it just has to work, he tells himself again and again.

Alice is his home, always has been and always will be....

Maja will strangle him, as she has sworn to do, if he dares to go to Alice, but he accepts that.

Maja was so angry, mainly because her friends, especially Selma, had blabbed and only didn't go after him because Noah suddenly appeared next to him.

Jolly has to grin at this memory.

It was pure coincidence that he met Maja and her friends after the concert after all.

After he and the others had freshened up, they actually wanted to get to their minibus in the venue's private parking lot.

On the way there, they had to pass a group of concertgoers, separated by barricades.

Jolly's gaze automatically wandered over the people and got stuck on Maja, or more precisely, her rear view.

Jolly was struck by lightning at first and couldn't move, but then he gave himself a jolt and approached her, talking to her over the barricade.

Her friends' eyes almost popped out of their heads, but they stared at him and Maja open-mouthed and speechless.

It felt like an eternity before Maja turned to him with a cool, hateful look.

“What do you want?!” her voice couldn't have been icier.

“Talk?!” he shrugged his shoulder awkwardly in response.

“What would I want to talk to YOU about!” came the reply.

“Maja... please, I know it's been a long time... but when I saw you earlier.... Damn you look so damn much like her.....” he swallowed.

“You realize that now, after fuckin almost 10 years?! Fucking asshole! You could have contacted her long ago if you'd really wanted to! Suddenly you're getting sentimental? Remembering the good old days? Or are you horny? Don't you have a slut to fuck right now?” she snapped at him.

Her friends were more speechless than ever, and other concert-goers listened with interest.

“Maja... please.... can we discuss this in peace and quiet? In a different setting?” he tried to reassure her.

“Forget it, Karlsson, you're scum and I'm certainly not going to listen to you!” was her reply.

Until Selma regained her composure and blurted out a few things.

“FUCK.... Then HE really is HIM?!” she stammered.

“Shut up!” growled Maja.

Jolly couldn't quite follow that.

“I thought you were joking when you said you knew the fuckin guitarist from fuckin Bad Omens.... FUCK!” blurted out one of the other women.

“Yes... I 'know' that asshole... unfortunately!” Maja hissed.

“But is HE really HIM then?” Selma followed up.

“Shut up!” growled Maja.

“FUCK... you know very well that Alice still loves him, if that's who he is! Hasn't forgotten him. As well as.....” Selma blurted out, interrupted by Maja.

“Shut your mouth, Selma! I won't say it again!” Maja grabbed Selma's arm angrily.

“Alice still loves me?!” whispered Jolly tonelessly, more to himself than to the others. This information turned his whole world upside down.

Selma, who had broken away from Maja, nods, “Yes, she does... She hasn't had a steady relationship for years, dates now and then that have all come to nothing.... Which isn't just because of Liam!”

“Liam?” Jolly furrowed his brow in irritation.

“That's enough... it's none of his business! He ran off back then and Selma, I swear I'll wring your neck if you make another sound!” Maja hissed at her friend.

“Who's Liam?” Jolly wanted to know.

“As I see it, your son!” Selma nodded and Maja tried to lunge at her, which Jolly just managed to prevent with a firm grip.

“DON'T TOUCH ME!” Maja yelled out all her anger and frustration, ”AND LEAVE ALICE ALONE!”

“Maja... is that right?” gulped Jolly, thunderstruck.

But Maja preferred icy silence.

“Yes... Alice has a son and he must be yours!” Selma nodded instead.

Jolly felt like he might faint in an instant, so he clung to the barricade. Panting and gasping for air, he stood there, “Really?” he croaked with a pleading look at Maja, who didn't give him a glance, instead stabbing Selma with her eyes.

“Maja... is that true?” he repeated pleadingly.

“He looks a lot like you... your hair color, your eyes....” Selma enumerated, ”The right age. She hasn't told anyone who the father is, but..... well, when you see him, you'll just know!”

“Maja....?” Jolly choked out questioningly.

“Luckily he doesn't have your nature...” Maja hissed almost inaudibly, but Jolly had heard and his legs threatened to buckle.

At that moment, Noah joined them and was able to observe Jolly's strange behavior from a distance.

Worried, he put a hand on his back, “Are you OK, Jolly?”

“No... actually, nothing's ok....” Jolly choked out, ”I have to go, Noah!”

“What, where? Why?” Noah wanted to know immediately.

“To Sweden... She's still in Sweden, isn't she?” Jolly asked and Selma nodded.

“Yes, she's still alive, or rather back in Jönköping!” Selma confirmed.

“If you care about her, you leave her alone!” Maja suddenly declared icily, ”She's been through hell because of you, even after.... Now it looks like she's made up with her life and everything. Don't you dare destroy that again by showing up, turning everything upside down and then disappearing again! Besides, it's also about Liam, a child!”

“I.... Maja... I need to talk to her!” gulped Jolly.

“Yes, YOU have to talk to her, all right. Once again, it doesn't matter what she needs!” snapped Maja.

“Maja, she still loves him.... She told me at the summer party when Nils broke up with me. She told me about her great love that she could never forget and how hard it is to let go, even though you don't really want to....” Selma explained gently.

Jolly felt sick.... FUCK, he really destroyed Alice back then.

Noah looked from one to the other uncomprehendingly, “Alice, Liam... kid?? What are we talking about here?”

“I guess I have a son!” gulped Jolly and Noah went no less pale than Jolly already was.

“WHAT???” he gasped tonelessly.

“Yeah, with Alice... I didn't know about anything... had absolutely no idea, she never told me.....” gulped Jolly.

“Yes, I wonder why!” Maja added spitefully.

“The Alice you told me about? The one you still love?” Noah then wanted to know, which made the women present sit up and take notice.

“Yes, that Alice.....” nodded Jolly.

“Then go to yourself, get your shit in order, get naked and try to win her back!” Noah nodded seriously.

Jolly looked at him questioningly, but Noah just gave him a shove, “GO, for fuck's sake, what are you waiting for?”

So he ran off, took a cab to the airport and is now here, in the middle of the night on a lonely road in Sweden on a clear fall night. Ready to take his fate into his own hands and win back the love of his life.

Monotonously, kilometer after kilometer goes by. Jolly goes through countless scenarios in his mind, what he should say to her, how he should say it.

FUCK, he feels like a schoolboy trying to slip a love letter to his crush. Just as excited, just as insecure.

As the lights of Jönköping slowly illuminate the darkness, Jolly's heart beats faster, he feels sick again and starts to sweat.

He nervously brushes his hair out of his face.

What should he do now? Go straight to her or check into a hotel and wait until tomorrow to attack her?

Jolly is getting more and more nervous.

Swearing, he pulls up again with squealing tires. He has to get to her, otherwise he's afraid of losing his courage.

The small settlement on the outskirts of Jönköping already seems to be sleeping peacefully, with only a few illuminated windows to be seen.

The SUV slowly rolls along the road until Jolly reaches his destination.

Alice's house.

His heart is pounding in his throat and he feels like he is going to faint again when he stops and takes the ignition key out of the lock.

He has to inhale and exhale deeply for a moment.

A glimmer of light can be seen from a window at the side. Alice must still be awake.....

She's always been a night owl, he remembers, and a smile steals across his face.

With trembling legs, he walks through the small garden gate and along the gravel path that winds its way to the house, climbing the steps to the porch that nestles against the front door.

Should I really, it races through his head......

He almost lets his hand drop again, but then he raises it again and knocks hard on the front door.

It's so loud, he himself is startled and looks around because a dog has started barking somewhere nearby, so he doesn't even notice that the hall light has gone on and keys are being turned in the door lock with a rustle.

Only when the door opens a crack does he startle, staring into bright green eyes that widen in shock.

Before Alice can slam the door shut again, at least that's what Jolly assumes, he pushes his foot between the door and the hinge and presses his hand against the door.

“Please.... We need to talk!” he chokes out, looking at her pleadingly.

Alice is so shocked that she can't get a sound out, nods automatically, undoes the chain in front of the door and then opens it completely.

As she stands there in front of him, Jolly's knees go weak and a stupid grin appears on his face. God, how could he have left her.

A whole world of emotions assaults him.

Love, desire, longing, security, home.... He feels all of this at the same time, just at the sight of her and the delicate scent she exudes. Lavender.

Alice is still unable to make a sound, so she just stands there in her leggings, oversized sweatshirt, thick woolen socks and messy hair bun, from which countless strands have stolen and are winding around her delicate face.

Jolly would have liked to tuck her behind her ear, but he doesn't dare move a finger, let alone touch her.

So he just chokes out, “We need to talk!” again.

Alice must have recovered from her initial shock. She clears her throat, wraps her arms around her torso, pushes her chin forward slightly and narrows her eyes.

She's even more enchanting than usual when she's angry, it occurs to Jolly as he looks at her like that and his desire for her continues to grow.

“About what?!” she growls softly at him.

“About just about everything....” sighs Jolly softly, ”Please.... Just let me finish, then when you say go, I'll go. I promise!”

Alice eyes him coolly, but then nods.

So Jolly plucks up all his courage, puts everything into a balance and begins to apologize to her, revealing his true feelings, what a fucking idiot he has been. In the end, he begs her forgiveness, asks for a second chance.

“I love you, Alice. I always have and I always will. I was just so stupid that it took me so long to realize that..... and then I had to work up the courage to go to you!” he mumbles.

“I understand if you send me away because I hurt you so much..... tore you to pieces.... All I can say is how sorry I am!” he swallows.

Alice looks at him for a long time. You can see how hard she is working, how much she is struggling with herself. But then she straightens her shoulders.

“It's too late, Joakim!” she whispers harshly and Jolly flinches as if he's been hit, but he was actually expecting this answer, ”No one has ever hurt me like you before and I'll never let myself be hurt like you did again! So please go!”

The question about Liam is on the tip of Jolly's tongue, but he remains silent. He understands that he has no right to ask Alice about his son. He has no right to anything. He gambled it all away a long time ago.

“I see...” he just nods, ”If I could, I'd turn back time... but I can't... I'd like to shake myself, beat myself up, to come to my senses.... I'm so incredibly sorry, Alice. And I know you won't believe me when I tell you I love you......”

Jolly can't move, but then he tears himself away, turns and storms out of the house, leaps down the porch steps and hurries to his SUV.

With trembling fingers, he unlocks the lock, but before he can open the car door, he is overcome by a wave of nausea and has to lean against the car, retching and gasping for breath.

It all seems to be too much for his body, his legs buckle and Jolly has to kneel down, leaning his head against the car door.

He feels hot tears running down his cheeks, so he presses his face against the cool car door.

In a surge of despair, he bangs his head against it a few times, just to stop feeling this despair, letting suppressed sobs escape his throat.

FUCK... this must be exactly how Alice felt back then.....

“YOU FUCKING STUPID IDIOT!” it suddenly hisses next to him and Jolly blinks upwards in confusion, where Alice stands like an angry avenging angel, staring down at him, trembling and equally crying.

“WHY???” she continues to hiss and punches him on the shoulder.

Jolly tries to get to his feet and stands up, trembling.

“TELL ME WHY??” Alice continues to cry, pounding his broad chest with her fists. Jolly just lets it happen.

“WHY ONLY NOW??? WHY ARE YOU ONLY COMING NOW? WHY DID YOU GO TO .....” Alice gasps.

“I... can't tell you... because I was a stupid asshole... scared of what we had.... Felt constricted..... I'm sorry.... I'm so incredibly sorry!” he mumbles.

Alice continues to lash out at him, taking all her frustration out on him until she stands sobbing in front of him, “And why do I still love you......” she breathes so softly that Jolly thinks he has misheard her at first.

Alice looks him in the eye with a teary gaze, “Why?”

Jolly can't help but pull her into his arms and hold her close. Alice clings to him, sobbing.

“I'm so incredibly sorry, Älskade!” he swallows.

“I can't do this again.....” sobs Alice.

“I know, min Älskling, I know...” whispers Jolly tenderly, stroking her hair, ”If I hadn't realized that, I wouldn't have come...... I came to stay with you!”

Startled, Alice looks at him, scrutinizing him closely, but all she can see in his gaze is love and the promise he has just made to her.

“I don't know.... I....” she swallows.

“We don't have to rush into anything!” nods Jolly, ”I'll stay here for now... let's just start over. Get to know each other again.”

“But there's something else I need to tell you.....” swallows Alice.

“I've known that for a while... And the thing I'm most sorry about is that I wasn't there for you!” Jolly nods seriously.

“Where from?” asks Alice, stunned, and Jolly tells her that he met Maja and her friends in LA.

“And Selma's still alive?” Alice has to ask.

“Well, at least she was when I stormed off!” smiles Jolly and kisses Alice's forehead.

“Maja will kill her and me!” Alice then nods.

“Why you?” Jolly wants to know.

Alice buries her nose in Jolly's broad chest, breathes in his tart scent, which lulls her and gives her the security she has missed for so long, “Because I'm so stupid and say yes....” she whispers.

“You're saying yes? You really want to try again with me?” Jolly's heart seems to burst.

Alice nods, “Yes... because I still love you, I've missed you so damn much and this feels so good, so right......”

She lifts her head, “But if you.....”

“No!” Jolly interrupts her immediately, leaning in and kissing her tenderly, ”No, I won't!”

The gust of wind that catches them both and pushes them closer together is like a sealing of this promise.......

[maureen-corpse]

Every time my posts about Bones or Lucille Sharpe’s piano get notes I feel a little thrill of glee. Like yes fandoms from the mid 2010s I am here for you. I also think there should have been more women kissing women in [murder-filled fandom]. Good thing we can put it there ourselves.

[grasslandgirl]

help help help having noble pining is bad no one is going to read it thoughts again HELP.....

[wyvernity]

sss day my favorite national holiday WOOOOHHHH

bonus

[downsteepy]

i am very grateful that im not someone that has to deal with daily seizures but it is evil when it takes like a week and a half's worth of business days to recover from a seizure

[p4nishers]

crowley's head snapping to look away like he's been slapped after aziraphale said "i need you" keeps replaying on a never ending loop in my mind and it makes me wanna kms

[seventh-district]

.

[graementality]

Why does my dash keep running out?? 😭😭 I'm getting like 3 posts at a time then I have to refresh again pls I just wanna look at pictures of the guys 🙏

[dont-open-dead-inside-25]

refreshing my dash to see the same fifteen posts but reblogged by different people

[goth-automaton]

*beats brain with a stick* Stop making me think, that people hate me, you fucking bastard! *beats faster*

[a-dash-in-the-middle]

new year another dude enamoured by me himself but bothering me about it

[fridayyy-13th]

y'all i'm like. so tired and overwhelmed right now. dare i even say sad.