#this is based purely on want to see the Vampire Guy out and about

[mantisgodsdomain]

Putting this out now. If anyone wishes to draw us a Scarlet we will draw you an art of your choice. Putting said Scarlet in Situations heavily encouraged but we are not picky we just want more of this one specific ant guy.

[loveswrites]

Hey bestie, how you have been? Hope is good! Anyway, i really L O V E D your poly Volturi things, i was wondering if you take requests here goes one...

Ok, listen, fem!reader x poly volturi one where the reader is in her period, like I'm in mine and reading this i was wondering how they will react like smelling the blood all the time... i will love to see the way you work on this, but just if your comfortable.

So is this, take care of yourself and hope you have a great day! (and sorry for the bad English :)

Red Sea Poly Volturi x reader

Time it took me: 4 hours along with a cupcake bake in the middle and then part of the next day which was today so i'd say 8 hours

Word count: 2884

To Coraline: Hello Lovely! I've been doing a little bit better thank you so much for asking! I loved this req seeing as I am on mine as well I felt that it was a perfect time to write it and I guess that's what pushed me to write it so quickly! But I don't think I really did what you asked for? I don't know I always just get the vibes that I don't truly listen to you guys when you req something, I always do something like it lmao. Let me know how you liked it thou! Ps. Your English was lovely!

Love <3

Poly Volturi x reader

Turning a corner you let out a long sigh. Currently you were walking around the castle just going around in circles indecisive on who you wanted to spend time with and who you wanted to ask for some.. Things.  You had woken up today to your punishment for simply being a woman. Your period. The reason you were walking around and not just lying in bed like you normally would is because this is your first time having your period in a castle full of vampires. Your period was very irregular so even though it had been a few months since your mates had found you, you’ve never bled around them before. 

You were nervous to see how they would react to it. You thought about asking Jane for some pads but then you remembered that she doesn’t have a period. And she’s probably never had one in her life to begin with. You thought about asking Felix but you felt that he would just make fun of you or tease you. Which was something you didn’t want to deal with right now. If someone teased you about something you couldn’t control you feel like you’d just snap. 

Asking Alec was just a plain no. You knew he’d just stare at you in confusion like what the hell do you mean your bleeding? With Caius you didn’t want to bother him as he was busy with trails right now with the other kings. Plus you’d have a feeling he’d want to paint with it. He has this infatuation with the way dark red blood looks. And you didn’t want him to paint a mural out of your blood for you. Though you're sure it would be gorgeous, he never disappoints you with his paintings.  

The only one that was left was Demtri. Your gentleman out of all your mates. Now you would ask him because you know he wouldn’t tease you or ask some weird request once you got what you needed but that still didn’t stop you from avoiding him also. 

So when you woke up this morning with the red sea between your legs you rushed to the bathroom and took a shower. Covering yourself in scents you’d only use if it was your last day on earth. Spraying yourself in the most expensive perfume that you could find. God do your mates love to spoil you or what? This one bottle of perfume you knew for a fact was a thousand dollars and yet they still said “It was nothing.” For once you were grateful that your room was on the far side of the castle away from all the other vampires including your mates.

You had picked this room purely based on the views that came with it. Your balcony was facing the ocean side of the castle. You could fall asleep to the sounds of the ocean waves crashing against the rocks. And you could watch the horizon where the moon and the sun would meet everyday, each rise and set of the moon and sun was always better than the last. That was what you loved about this castle. And that was what you loved about your wing of it. It was your small piece of the fortress and no one could take that away from you. Your love’s made sure of it. 

Taking the silk sheets off your bed you did your best to scrub them clean but of course there was still a stain. You tossed them into the hamper and made a mental note to ask the maid to come get it later for you. You placed new sheets on your bed. You changed your makeshift pad that was made of tissue then you were off to pace the halls to grow some balls.  

You wore your robes that matched all the vamps that were with the volturi, hood up and all in attempts to hide your identity. 

It didn’t work. 

You were convinced that everyone in the castle knew your scent by hard because every vampire that passed, rather they were walking normally or vamping away, they would pause in their tracks and make sure to bow to you. Though it was completely unnecessary, you loved how it made you feel. The power that you hold as just a human brung so much pride to you. The 3 kings and your mates always would tell you to own it and so you did. 

You tried hiding in the shadows when you knew that someone was coming. Pushing yourself against the walls, even turning your whole body like you were just put into time out. You knew you looked like a dumbass but that wasn’t the point nor your problem right now. All you knew was that you didn’t want to face any more people than necessary. 

Finally after what felt like hours you finally made it to the receptionist desk. You were thankful that she was even there. She was always off doing something she had no business doing. You were surprised that she hadn’t gotten herself killed yet. But today you were grateful for that. 

“What can I do to help you?” She asked, putting on a voice that you could tell was supposed to be charming. It was not.

Pulling your hood off she immediately stood from her chair but quickly dropped down to bow. 

“My queen, Is there anything I can do to assist you? Master Caius is out feeding with the others. Would you like me to retrieve him?” She asked, speaking softly. 

Respect was a big thing with the kings if someone showed you any signs of disrespect you never saw or heard from them again. So it was understandable as to why she switched up so fast. 

“No, I was wondering if you had any… You know.. Tampons or pads? Anything honestly.” You said rushing it out. But still trying to keep it low.

“Oh! Don’t you have any of that stuff? They practically treat you like royalty.” She laughed with a roll of her eyes. 

That pissed you off. She’s always had a problem with you and you’ve always kept your mouth shut but today that wasn’t how you were feeling.

“Because I am. Now if you don’t like it or respect it I have no problem having this conversion with the kings. I'm sure they would love to hear about this.” You said in a stern voice, sending her a glare. Her eyes widened, you never threatened anyone, you’ve never had to. It was always done for you if it needed to be done. 

She got up and quickly left, hoping she went to get you something, anything at this point. You could feel that your makeshift pad is not working. 

“Till we hear about what, Amore mio?” You heard behind you making you jump and turn around. When you did you were faced by the three kings themselves. You found yourself sort of stung in place. Your plan was to come get some pads and I don’t know, hide until it all went away? Horrible plan but it worked in your head. This was not a part of your plan.

“Umm nothing I was justt..” You dragged out shifting your eyes between the three. 

Aro was staring at you with his wide curious eyes. Marcus looked at you with soft knowing eyes, he always knew when things were wrong with you. And caius looked at you with narrowed eyes.

“Are you hiding something from us?” Caius questioned stepping closer to you. You felt your heart skip a beat. They heard it of course. 

“Caius can you go away?” You asked, covering your face with the palm of your hands.

“Why would I go away? Are you trying to run away?!” Cauis yelled out, making you frown.

“Caius..” Marcus sighed out. There was no doubt that Cauis’s biggest fear was you leaving him and him never being able to find you. It broke your heart that he felt he wasn’t truely loveable.

“I swear you're bipolar.” You said taking your hands off your face just in time to see the receptionist with a brown bag in her hand. When you saw this you grabbed it from her and ran as fast as you could. 

“I wanna be alone right now! No one bother me, pass the message along!” When you turned your head to see if they were behind you they weren't even there. Seeing this you stopped running and caught your breath leaning on a wall. You swear you need to work out more. Or hell even walk more, but what's the point when you can have Felix carry you everywhere? 

Since you were down here on this side of the castle you thought why not stop and get some snacks? So that’s what you did. Big mistake.

Walking into the kitchen you saw Demetri and Felix and immediately turned around hoping that they didn’t see you.

“Bellissima?” Dem said softly, making you turn around.

“Yes?” You said, just as softly.

“Are you alright?” He said, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes of course! Why wouldn’t I be?” You said shifting from side to side slightly cringing.

“What’s that sme-” Before Felix could even finish his sentence you dashed out of that kitchen and you ran. You ran straight to your room and you didn’t stop for anything or anybody. Your one mission was to get to your room and stay there. 

Once you got to your room you ran straight to the bathroom and turned the shower on. You didn’t even allow yourself to think about how embarrassingly long it took you to get to this point. You never paid attention to how many people or how many vampires live in this castle until you felt like fresh bait to them. You let yourself relax feeling the hot water hit your back. You allowed it to wash away the mixed emotions you had. 

Once you got out you did your normal hygiene routine and you felt better. You felt ready to rot in a ball for the next week. Opening your bathroom door you stopped in your tracks when you saw all of your mates standing in front of you.

“Hi..?” You said after a minute passed and no words were spoken.

“Why are you acting so strange?” Alec was the first to speak.

“How could I have been acting strange? I haven't even seen you today!” You yelled out holding onto your towel tighter. 

“Yes you have, you’ve seen us both when you were cowering into the ‘shadows’.” Jane said plainly.

“You walked right past us like you didn’t even know who we were!” Alec yelled.

“Don’t yell at me!” You yelled back at him frowning.

“Why not?! If I don’t yell you might walk right past me again!”

“Just cause I walked past you doesn’t mean you can yell at me!”

“I can do whatever-” 

“Where not going to solve this yelling at her!” Dem yelled, cutting Alec off.

“Anyone wanna talk to her and not yell at her?!” He yelled looking at the rest of your mates. 

While he eyes weren’t on you you felt your eyes water and you couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down your face. The moment you sniffled you caught everyone's attention.

“You made her cry!” Alec yelled glaring at Demetri.

“I didn’t do a damn thing!” Dem yelled back at Alec.

That started a yelling war between Alec and Dem which only made you cry harder. It was frustrating. 

“Can someone tell me what that smell is!” Felix yelled out in his own frustration. As he had been sniffing everything like a damn dog since you’ve seen him. 

“It’s me! It’s me okay? I’m fucking bleeding I’m on my period okay?! That’s why I’ve been acting weird all day it’s embarrassing and I needed some pads but I didn’t have any and I knew that none of you did and I didn’t wanna ask so I didn’t and you guess kept popping up in places that you didn’t belong and-”

“You smell good.” Felix said, making you stop immediately.

“What?” You questioned.

“Yeah you smell sweeter but at the same time dull. It’s something I’ve never smelt before. It makes my mouth water.” Felix said, staring at you with slightly darker red eyes.

“I agree.” Cauis said, looking you up and down with greedy eyes. 

“She doesn’t smell like that to me, she smells like a softer scent of her normal self.” Dem said now looking at you with a strange expression on his face.

“She smells like something that I can’t explain but it’s pleasant.” Jane said as Alec agreed with her.

“I smell good?” You questioned with your voice cracking slightly.

“You always smell good. Are you seriously telling us that this is the reason that you’ve been avoiding us? That’s a foolish reason.” Cauis said.

“I’ll go gather some stuff you’ll need.” Jane said and before you could say anything of hell even blind she was gone. 

“I’ve read a whole book about menstrual cycles before-” Felix started.

“You can read?” Alec scoffed, dodging the book Felix threw at him in reflex.

“We're gonna take good care of you, I promise.” Felix said as he appeared at your side and settled you on your bed softly. 

“Master Caius, can you lay down? As much as I don’t like to admit it, you're her favorite to lay on when she’s in pain.” He asked, even though Cauis wanted to respond to Felix's statement he kept his mouth shut for your sake.

Cauis pulled you into him as he laid down and you felt yourself relax immediately. While you felt it they could hear it. 

“I’m in my towel this is not a reliable form of protection if you catch my drift?” You said to your mates hinting at the fact that you’d like to get dressed.

“You think I care if you bleed on me Amore mio?” Caius questioned in a dull tone as if it wasn’t a big deal.

“Yes I do.” You said as a matter of fact. This sent your mates into a tumble of laughter. While you looked dumbfounded they just shook their heads.

“Sometimes I think you forget what we are.” Dem said looking at you with a soft smirk on his face.

“We eat your kind for breakfast, lunch and dinner and yet you think we are put off by a little drop of blood. That is foolish.” Cauis said, shaking his head pulling you closer to him. 

“Now relax until Jane gets back.” Felix said leaving no room for argument.

With this being said you watched as your mates took their places in your room. Alec sat in a chair that was next to your bed grabbing a book to read. Felix turned on your tv that they had installed and began flipping through the channels. And dem was busy closing all of your curtains so that the room was dark for you. You felt loved by the smallest things that they were doing. Even if it didn’t benefit you, you felt at peace with your loves just in the same place as you. 

As you close your eyes Cauis begins stroking your hair sending a small shiver down your spine due to his cold finger tips. 

“If you just let us change you you wouldn’t have to go through this pointless pain.” Cauis said, making you shake your head.

“I show one sign of pain and you already wanna kill me.” You said snuggling closer into Caius which he welcomed with open arms.

“You’d be reborn into Una versione migliore di te.” He voiced like it was nothing.

“You know that I haven’t been keeping up with my lessons with Marus!” You yelled hitting caius on his side.

“And whose fault is that?” Alec said casually flipping the page to his book he was reading. 

“Not mine actually! Because everytime I try to go to Marcus study, one of you always stops me in my tracks and leads me in a different direction!” You said pointing to each one of your mates. To which none of them could say anything because they knew that it was true.

“See.” You said smiling at the fact that there was no back talk at all. 

Some time passed and you had fallen asleep. When you woke up you felt a weight on your stomach looking down you saw that it was Jane. Her head rested on your stomach. The sun had gone completely down and it was now pitch black in your room but you felt no fear in your heart because you knew that you were safe. 

When you went to shift your legs you were placed with a reminder of why they were here in the first place. Looking down at your previously white towel you couldn’t help the words that came out of your mouth.

“Fucking hell.” You groaned, rolling your eyes.

“A little free bleeding ain’t never hurt nobody.” Felix said with a smirk that you could just feel in your soul.

“What the fuck.” You said and immediately you heard a few chuckles come from different parts of the room.

[guilty-pleasures21]

I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA ABOUT JASON

IMAGINE JASON DATING AN S/O WHO'S ALSO A WEREWOLF OR SMTHN SIMILAR--- I'M THINKING OF BITING RN. BITING JASON. WITH CANINES. OR FANGS. GROWLING WHEN YOU REALISE HE'S BLAMING HIMSELF FOR SMTHN. MORE BITING AND HIM LIKING IT.

(ughh some days i just wanna top that man and see him trying and failing to not be submissive as hell)

I LOVE YOUR WRITING SM BTW!!!

~ 🐺anon

Ahh! @🐺anon thank you so much!

Okay, so I'm actually a HUGE vampire nerd (I've never seen/read Twilight, but I have other recommendations if people are interested!) and funnily enough, I only realised when one of my friends pointed out to me my suspiciously extensive knowledge of vampires once back in school. (And I also found out my best friend was secretly OBSESSED with werewolves - she used to read all the Patricia Briggs books and I called her out on it one day? 🤣)

BUT ANYWAY! I really love wolf-coded guys? Like, the fangs and the claws and the pure masculine dominance and need to protect their mate (I FELL IN LOVE WITH MIGUEL BEFORE KNOWING ANY OF THIS ABOUT HIM THOUGH OKAY?!! 🥺).

P.S. I was actually working on a Dick Grayson fanfic loosely based off of Red Riding/Beauty and the Beast once, so ... 😳😅

The monster

Jason's already told you all his secrets. Are you ready to tell him yours?

Warnings: mentions of trauma, descriptions of sex including blowjob (f & m receiving), fisting (m receiving) and penetration (p in v).

----------------------------------------------------------

She rang the doorbell, then knocked on his door when he still hadn’t answered.

“Jay!” X yelled through the door. “You know I'm gonna find some other way to come in!”

She waited patiently for a few moments, then finally, he opened the door. “What?!”

X reflected his expression back at him, her eyebrows scrunching together in irritation. “Rude!”

Jason clenched his jaw at her response and tightened his grip on the edge of the door. “Not tonight, X.”

X folded her arms across her chest. “I came all this way and you're just going to turn me away at the door?! At least let me use your bathroom first!”

Jason rolled his eyes and sighed before heading back into his apartment. He left the door open behind him, but didn’t speak a word to her as he trudged back into his bedroom. It must have been really bad then. But was it because of a mission or another nightmare? She shouldn't have left him alone last night, but she'd had no choice! It was the full moon, after all, and her parents would have killed her if she’d missed it.

She took her bag off and set it down on the kitchen island before tiptoeing into Jason's bedroom. He was lying on his side of the bed, even when she wasn't there to take up the empty space beside him, and her heart cracked at the sight. She slid onto her stomach next to him, taking care to keep that bit of distance between them. Then she turned to face him. “You don't have to talk about it, but you don't have to take it out on me.”

Jason sighed, knowing she was right - wanting to believe that she was right. But it was difficult to undo years of damage in just a few months. And even though she always encouraged him about the progress she saw him making, some days, he felt like life hadn't moved at all; like he was still trapped in that abandoned warehouse, waiting for someone to want him enough to come rescue him. He removed his arm from over his face, but continued to avoid her gaze. X watched him quietly, giving him the time he needed. Then finally, he glanced over at her - her thick hair trailing across her pillow, her long limbs sprawled out over his bed. He shuffled closer to her and she turned onto her side so he could snuggle against her, his arm coming around her waist as he buried his face in her chest. She ran her fingers through his hair, still waiting patiently.

“How-” He broke off as his voice cracked and took a moment to compose himself. “Why do you love me?” ‘Why do love me? What do you love about me? What in me is worth loving?’. That was what he was really asking her to tell him. She continued to stroke his hair, trying to find the right words to comfort him.

“Hmm,” she contemplated. “You're really sweet, Jay. I know you think that everyone thinks you're this big, bad, tough guy who just hates everything, but you care so much about the things that are important to you.” Jason tightened his grip on her, wanting so badly to believe what she was saying, to believe that he was good, so she continued.

“You always fight so hard to give everyone the opportunity to be good; to give them a choice and teach them all the different reasons they should make the right decision. You put everything into what you believe in, even at the cost of yourself.” She paused to press a kiss to the top of his head and he finally relaxed a little. “You're gentle and attentive and so caring; so deserving of all the love in the entire world and I will fight everyone to give it to you!”

Jason let out a soft snicker at the thought of his tiny little girlfriend beating people up for him. Then he tensed up again. “But … But I've hurt people. I've done bad things.”

Her response was immediate.

“We've all done bad things, Jay - we're only human.” Mostly. “But you've never hurt anyone … You've only hurt those who have hurt hundreds of other people! And in doing that, you've given all those other people a chance at life. At a better life. You basically do what everyone complains about God not doing.”

He pulled back slightly to raise an eyebrow at her in disbelief: had she just compared him to God? X shuffled closer to him and cupped his cheek in her hand, her fingers brushing along the stubble sprinkled around his jaw.

“You serve justice - even if it doesn't look so pretty sometimes,” she added. “Like karma.” Her eyes lit up at the thought.

“Ooh! Should we change your vigilante name to that?” she suggested excitedly. “That's such a cool name: Karma. And you'd have such cool catchphrases too!”

Jason couldn’t stop the smile that creeped across his face at her enthusiasm. He'd revealed his identity to her a few weeks before they'd started dating, secretly thrilled that the cute friend he'd made at the library months ago was already so enamoured with his alter ego. She liked how firm he was, she'd always say; how he wasn't afraid to make sure that everyone got what they deserved. She'd scare Dick and Steph sometimes, with how intense she could be, but he loved it - he loved her. Even though he still hadn't found the courage to say it just yet. He stroked her back gently, delighting in how soft she was. “I'm not changing my name, X.”

Her eyes widened as she looked up at him - like a little puppy. She'd remind him of one sometimes, bouncing around with her infectious enthusiasm, rambling on about something interesting she'd found without stopping taking a breath. He could practically see her wagging her imaginary little tail whenever she got excited. “Then can I do it? Can I become a vigilante like you?”

She held her fists close to her mouth, almost whimpering as she begged him for it - just like a little puppy. Jason ruffled her hair fondly and tugged her a little closer to him. “I don't want you to ever be in danger because of me.”

“Then keep me safe!” she responded quickly, grinning like it was that easy, that simple.

Jason snuck his hand beneath the hem of her shirt and scratched her skin lightly as he studied her. Then he pulled her into his chest and pressed his lips to her hair.

“I'll keep you safe,” he promised her. “I'll keep you safe, sweetheart.” He hesitated after saying it, thinking about it. If he was being honest, he didn't want her to get involved in that part of his life because he never wanted her to see that side of him: to see him for the monster he really was. And maybe it was selfish of him, but … what other choice did he have?

“X …” he began slowly.

“Hmm?” She tilted her head back to look up at him.

“Do you … Do you ever get scared of me?” he asked her quietly. “Do you ever think … I could be a monster?”

He looked so sad as he said it, his voice all soft and terrified. And she wanted to beat up whoever had ever made him feel that way. She frowned.

“Why would I ever get scared of you, Jay? You keep me safe, remember?” Her brows remained creased as she watched him consider her response. Then her heart leapt into her throat as she realised that this was the best opening she was ever going to get. “But Jay … Even if … Even if you thought you were a monster … I'd say that we can be monsters together.” She curled into herself and peeked up at him nervously, then let her eyes glow gold in the dim light of the moon streaming in through the windows.

He did a double take, unsure if he’d just seen what he thought he saw. Had her eyes just … flashed gold?! Or had it just been a reflection of something? “What?”

X bit her lip and sat up, avoiding his gaze.

“What if … What if I told you I was a monster?” she asked him carefully. “Would you still love me then?” Sure, he'd never said it, but she knew that he loved her - how could she not when he was always looking after her and buying her little gifts, planning small surprises for her and showering her with all his affection whenever they were together? But she'd been selfish - she'd fallen in love with the poetic boy with the white streak in his hair from their first conversation in the library and ever since then, she hadn't been able to stomach the thought of ever losing him.

Jason sat up, bewildered. Why was she suddenly acting so strangely?

“Of course!” he assured her firmly. He reached out to cup her cheeks. “Of course I'd …”

“I'd still want you,” he finished lamely. “Even then.”

X turned her face away from his, her stomach roiling with nerves. But she had to tell him - she couldn’t keep lying to him forever. “I'd never hurt you, Jay! You know that, right?”

“Of course I know that,” he assured her, turning her face back to his. “Of course I know you'd never hurt me, princess. But why are you talking like this? What happened?”

X dug her fingers into the mattress, wincing in anticipation of his response.

“I belong to a family that …” Ugh, it was like pulling teeth! Or fangs. Maybe she should just come out and say it. “I can turn into a wolf! Sometimes. But I don't hurt anyone! I'd never hurt anyone, Jay! Especially not you!” She looked up at him with wide eyes, the fear scrawled all over her face, and his breath caught in his throat: he'd never had anyone afraid to lose him. Not him, never him.

“W-What … What are you talking about?” He rubbed his thumb along her cheek, waiting for a better explanation.

X whimpered nervously as she curled into herself. “I can … I can show you?”

A wolf?! She could turn into a wolf?! What the f*ck?! What the hell was he supposed to say to that?! He let his hand fall from her face and shrugged, wanting to put her at ease. “Okay.”

She stood up and went over to the window to pull the curtains open. She took a moment to soak in the moonlight, letting its power wash over her, then she turned back to him, allowing him to see her for who she really was.

Jason’s jaw dropped at the sight of her golden eyes, her elongated canines, her sharp claws. What the actual f*ck?!

“I'm not … I can turn into a full wolf, if I wanted to, but I'd be too big.” She glanced around the room after saying it, imagining her large wolf form trying to squeeze into the space between his bed and his window. Then she lowered her head and waited for his response.

She still seemed the same: still spoke the same, still acted the same, still curled into herself with fear in anticipation of his response in the same way. He narrowed his eyes at her thoughtfully. “How?”

“It runs in my family,” X admitted, brushing her hair behind her ear. “I've been able to do it since I was young.”

“Does it hurt?” Jason asked her.

“Come here,” he commanded. X walked forward, but then stopped at the foot of the bed, still avoiding his gaze.

X shook her head quickly, still keeping her distance from him so she wouldn't scare him. “No!”

Jason sat in silence for a moment, thinking. Then he waved her over to him.

She was out of the moonlight now, but she wasn't changing back. “You don't need to be in the moonlight to do that?”

“Only for the first transformation of the night,” she explained. “Then I can do it whenever I want. It only lasts for about twelve hours though. Then I'd need the moonlight again.”

She didn't seem to have a problem speaking around her fangs. Would he have trouble kissing her though? He moved to sit on the edge of the bed and gestured for her to get on his lap. “Come here.”

She curled her fingers around his shoulders nervously and straddled his lap. Jason placed his hands on her waist and took a moment to study her body. She was still as soft as she always was, still as warm. But wait. Was that a tail? His lips twitched as he ran his fingers along her silky fur. “You have a tail?”

“Mmhmm!” She nodded enthusiastically in agreement, but her eyes were still wide with fear. And Jason couldn't help but let out a huff of amusement at the irony of the situation: there he'd been, terrified that she wouldn't accept him once she knew the truth about him, and now here she was, asking him to do the same. He glided the hand that wasn’t stroking her tail up her back and around her waist, checking to see if everything else was still the same. He reached up to cup her cheek in his hand when he was satisfied, then he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. He kissed her slowly, cautiously, taking care to not cut his tongue on her fangs.

He was kissing her! He was really kissing her! But did that mean that he was okay with it? Or was he just testing it out? She pulled back slowly, then squeezed her arms to her chest, avoiding his gaze as she did so. “Are you … Are you okay with it? With me being a monster?”

Her voice was just a whisper as she said it, and she glanced up at him nervously. He tilted her face up to his and smiled. “We can be monsters together.”

X grinned as he repeated her words, and she started kissing him again, her movements a little hungrier, a little less careful this time. She pushed him down onto the bed and Jason chuckled at her eagerness. She looked so cute like this, her tail wagging with joy at his acceptance of her, her lips curled into that happy smile as she looked at him. She bent over to nip at his earlobe and Jason sucked in a breath as she began trailing her teeth down his skin, a delighted growl escaping her throat everytime her fangs pricked his skin. He slid his hands beneath the hem of her shirt and crawled his fingers up her skin cautiously, and she sat up to let him take her shirt off.

Her skin almost seemed to glow beneath the moonlight, and he sucked in a breath at the sight before looking up at her in question. They’d had sex before, of course, but this was … different. This time, they'd expose all of themselves to each other, every ugly piece of them they both thought should be locked away forever. X curled her fingers around the hem of his shirt, taking care to not scratch him with her claws. Then she nodded.

He kept his eyes fixed on her chest as he took her bra off, then he licked his lips hungrily when she was bare before him. She was so f*cking beautiful; more now than she’d ever been before, so completely herself, so utterly unafraid. He turned them over so she was lying beneath him, then slowly slid off her jeans and underwear. Shit, she was hot: her smooth skin, her soft curves, her silky curls. He stood up to take his own clothes off, then knelt down on the floor, settling himself between her legs. He tugged her to him, pulling her knees onto her shoulders, then began pressing soft kisses to the insides of her thighs, his teeth closing around her flesh occasionally to tug on her skin.

She pushed herself to her hands, wanting to look at him, but then he was dragging his tongue up her length and closing his lips around her clit and her head was falling back in pleasure. Jason continued licking and sucking on her like he was trying to make out with her p*ssy and she shuddered as she felt herself getting wetter and wetter.

“Hngrh … J-Jay …” X twisted her claws into the bedsheet, her body trembling as he continued to arouse her.

F*ck, she was cute. The helpless little whimpers that kept escaping from her lips as he continued to eat her out slowly? It drove him crazy. “I guess the transformation doesn't affect your sensitivity, huh, sweetheart?”

He chuckled against her pulsing p*ssy and X let out a surprised yelp as her leg twitched in response. Jason ran his fingers up and down her thighs as he gave a low moan of satisfaction. “Mmm. You gonna come for me, princess? Already?”

He closed his lips around her folds and gently pulled them into his mouth before lazily dribbling his tongue along her length. F*ck, she tasted sweet.

He was so good, so gentle and slow, her Jason, always taking his time to appreciate the taste of her on his tongue. She shuddered as he let out another low moan and started moving her hips against his mouth to get him to go faster. But Jason pulled back instead and chuckled at her impatience. X growled at the sudden absence of his mouth and bared her teeth at him in a snarl. Jason flashed her a smug smirk in response as he stood up and leaned over her.

“You think I'm scared of you, princess?” he asked, gripping her chin tightly and turning her face up to his. “With those cute little puppy dog eyes of yours?” He snickered as she continued to glare at him, then he bent over to press a kiss to her lips.

X loosened her grip on the bed sheets when she felt his tongue brushing across hers. She'd always been a bit of an outcast within her pack: the male wolves would always go for someone bigger, stronger - a mate who would be able to give them many children and help them hunt for and look after the rest of the pack. It wasn't their fault - just a part of their DNA - but it didn't make it hurt any less. She gasped as Jason reached up to cup her breast, his mouth moving to trail along her neck and shoulder instead. But here was a man, big and strong and always ready to defend his pack, worshipping her body like she was some kind of angel he was blessed to be able to lay his hands upon. If only he could see himself in the same way; in the way she saw him. She steeled herself so her voice wouldn't shake when she next spoke. “Jason.”

“Hmm?” he grunted, continuing to trail his lips and hands all over her body. F*ck, she tasted so sweet.

He wasn't listening to her and she was starting to get a little frustrated at the smugness in his voice. So she grabbed him by the waist and flung him onto the bed.

“Whoa!” Jason exclaimed, caught off guard. Then he turned to grin at her. “How'd you do that?!”

X kept her face scrunched into a frown as she climbed on top of him and pinned his wrists against the bed. “It's my wolf strength. Now shut up!”

He stopped talking, but continued to smile at her, amused by how cute she still looked despite her wickedly sharp canines; she looked more like a puppy than a wolf, glaring down at him with her beautiful, round eyes. X huffed in irritation when she saw that he still wasn't taking her seriously.

“Tell me where it hurts, Jay,” she demanded. Jason shut his mouth and raised an eyebrow at her, his lips curling at the ends in teasing. X shoved him into the mattress in warning. “Jason!”

Jason lets out a little snicker. She was so powerful - a full-on wolf when she wanted to be! - and yet, she was still so vulnerable before him.

“What?” he finally relented. “What do you want me to tell you, princess?”

X began to hesitate, her resolve weakening as she contemplated what she wanted to ask of him. “I want … I want you to tell me … all the parts of you that you think aren't worth loving.”

His breath caught in his throat at that and he felt his heart skip a beat. “W-What?”

X let go of his wrists and sat back, taking a moment to assess his body. Her fingers trailed over all of his scars and bruises and she repeated herself, her tone more firm this time. “Tell me all the parts of you that you think aren't worth loving.”

Jason swallowed hard, his heart resuming its beats, but much faster this time. He shifted uncomfortably in position, so she curled up on his chest, her big dark eyes looking up at him as she held him down. He clenched and unclenched his fists, then turned away from her, ashamed.

“My mouth.” Something easy, he'd start with something easy. “Someone always gets hurt whenever I open it. I've always been told that I have a big mouth.” X smiled and crawled up over him to trace the curve of his lips with her finger.

“All the better to kiss with,” she joked. She pressed her lips to his and kissed him slowly, pouring all her affection into him. Then she pulled back. “What else?”

Jason's chest started heaving with shallow breaths as the anxiety began to creep in. He was going to do this, he was really going to do this: tear himself open and let her see all the vulnerable bits he tried so hard to hide. “M-My … My hands. All they do is take and take and take.”

X lifted his hand to her mouth and pressed a kiss to his palm. Then she began listing all the things he'd taken from her, stopping to nip each of his fingers in between.

“They take my sadness. They take my pain. They take my loneliness. They take my tears. They take my hunger.” She placed his hand on her waist when she was done, then she took hold of his other one to do the same. “They take my sorrow. They take my fear. They take my nightmares. They take my ignorance. They take my insecurities.”

She placed his hand on the other side of her waist and continued. “What else?”

Jason swallowed hard, the pressure beginning to build up behind his eyes as he digested her words. How could she do that? How could she take all of his self-loathing, all of his hurt and his pain … and turn it into something so beautiful?

“My shoulders,” he choked out helplessly. “They're not strong enough to carry the weight of … of his expectations.” She lowered herself back on top of him and rubbed his shoulder gently, knowing exactly who he was talking about. She scratched his skin lightly with her claw, leaving a faint red line, then she smiled down at him, her eyes glowing in the dark again as she did so.

“They carry mine perfectly fine.” She bent over and sank her fangs into his shoulder, just enough to draw a surprised hiss out of him, but not enough to hurt him - he'd already had enough pain to last a lifetime. Longer, even. She bit him softly, then pulled back and began reciting all the expectations he'd taught her she was allowed to have of someone. “Brave.”

X moved her mouth higher up his shoulder and nipped at his brawny muscle again.

“Sweet.” Nip. “Patient.” She moved to his other shoulder when she ran out of space.

“Thoughtful. Attentive. Generous.” She sat up again and fixed him with a challenging look. “Is there anything else?”

Jason tightened his grip on her waist and, this time, his voice cracked with pain when he spoke. “I'm broken. I'm so broken, X.”

X gave him a soft smile and traced one of the scars on his shoulder.

“You're not broken, Jace. You're all stitched up! Here.” She brushed her fingers down his scar, then moved on to another. “And here.”

She repeated the phrase, her fingers sliding along his skin, her claws outlining each of his hideous scars. Then when she was done, she bent over and nipped at each of them, her fangs pricking his skin delightfully. She took hold of his cock when she reached his abdomen, curling her fingers around it and moving it aside. But then she began stroking him gently, her thumb rubbing across his slit as she dragged her fangs along the inside of his thighs.

“X …” Jason breathed, clutching onto the bed sheets as his arousal began to intensify. X raised her head to grin at him, her tail wagging happily behind her. Jason pushed himself up to his elbows, glancing down at his body to see what she'd done, and his heart squeezed in his chest. Where before he'd had scars, now he was showered with little bite marks, the imprint of her fangs scattered across his body as she'd claimed him as her own. X sat up, her fingers still stroking his cock carefully, and smiled down at his body.

“They're not scars anymore, Jay,” she told him, brushing her fingers across his rough skin tenderly. “They're all the places I've marked you.”

She looked up at him, her eyes glinting gold with mischief and glee. “You don't belong to Death anymore, Jason Todd - you belong to me.”

Jason reached up to cup her cheek and pull her closer to him so he could start kissing her. He kissed her hard, aggressive, licking into her mouth thirstily like she was the only thing that could soothe the aching emptiness inside of him. X giggled as she kissed him back, then she yelped in surprise when he pushed her down onto the bed beneath him. She gasped and twisted her fingers in his hair as he began pressing his lips and teeth all over her body, marking her like she'd marked him.

“I belong to you,” Jason recited feverishly, like the words were a prayer on his lips. “I'm yours. All yours, baby. All yours, X.” He squeezed her breast in his hand, then growled and nipped at the other before dragging his tongue across her nipple. X whimpered and curled her toes as her legs twitched with arousal. Then she let out a helpless moan when Jason sucked hard on her breast before releasing her with a wet ‘pop’.

“You like that?” he teased her, making his way down her abdomen, nibbling on her soft skin and leaving small bruises all over her body. “You like it when I mark you like this, princess? When I …” He trailed off as he reached her centre, her sweet little p*ssy blushing and dripping just for him. He growled again at the sight, then pushed his mouth into her folds and groaned at the taste of her before drinking her up.

“You're all mine,” he declared. “You're all mine, X, all mine, princess.”

She whimpered and moaned again as her walls began to throb with arousal, the intensity of it causing her body to contract hard. “J-Jason!”

“F*ck,” he breathed. He flipped her over and started licking her up from behind, his fingers digging into her ass to spread her apart as he dragged his tongue along her length. X twisted her fingers into the bedsheets, her claws ripping the soft fabric as she did so.

“Jay!” she squealed helplessly. Jason bit down on her ass, his teeth sinking into her skin delightfully, then he held her tail down so he could start making his way up her body.

“You're so perfect,” he murmured, his words slurred with desire. “So perfect, baby. So pretty, so f*cking pretty.”

She shuddered as he trailed his lips up her spine, her entire body so sensitive from how badly he'd stimulated her already. Then finally, he reached her neck and she found the strength to push herself up to shrug him off of her. He rolled over onto his back and she pounced on him quickly before he could get up.

He looked up at her, his eyes glazed over with lust, a dazed expression on his rugged features. He was so handsome when he was confused, when he was completely at her mercy like this.

“W-What?” he stammered out, puzzled. X placed her hands on his shoulders, then dragged them down his chest, her claws leaving a faint trail of pink down his torso. Jason sucked in a breath at the pleasant sting of it, then she turned around on top of him and settled her p*ssy over his mouth. Her tail flicked playfully at his nose as she took hold of his cock and began licking the insides of his thighs and he grabbed onto her ass instinctively, digging his fingers into her skin.

“F*ck!” He tried to continue eating her out again, to suck on her and lick her up and please her, but he was just too distracted by the feeling of her fingers teasing his tip to do anything besides pressing soft kisses along her length.

X fisted his cock as he suckled on her clit, her body giving a hard contraction that had her curling her back involuntarily. “Hngrh …”

She pushed her hips against his mouth and Jason let out a satisfied groan at the feeling. He started lapping at her folds, picking up the pace of his movements, and she whined.

“J-Jay … Stop …” He didn't listen, so she started running her tail across his face, stroking his cheeks and tickling him softly. Finally, he released her, his head falling back onto the mattress against his own will.

“F*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck!” Jason swore, his brain turning completely numb with pleasure. “X … Stop … Princess, I want …” She refused to listen to him, happily sucking on his cock as he dug his fingers into the soft flesh of her ass. He groaned and pulled her back, settling her hips back over his face. X yelped in surprise, then flopped over him and started whining again when he shoved his tongue straight into her hole.

“F*ck!” he exclaimed. X continued to run her tail across his neck and shoulders as she began licking his cock, her silky fur brushing against his skin teasingly. Jason held his breath, overwhelmed by the feeling of her all over him; her tail around his neck, her c*m leaking onto his chest, her breasts pressing into his abdomen. He bucked his hips as she lowered her mouth onto his cock, pushing it deeper in so that his tip hit the back of her throat. X growled at the feeling and he muttered another curse when he felt the vibrations racing down his length to his core. X trailed her tongue up his length, tracing the veins in his shaft. Then she shook her head like he was a toy she was playing with and his hips lifted off the bed again as his dick slapped against the insides of her cheeks.

“J-Jay!” He groaned against her and she shivered as his low voice sank into her skin and danced along her bones. Then she ripped herself away from him and turned around so that their centres were perfectly aligned. The both of them paused for a second, chests panting with shallow breaths as they took each other in. Then Jason took hold of himself and tugged her down onto him. She sucked in a breath when she felt all of him filling up all of her, then she threw her head back with pleasure and started riding him.

“H-Hold … Hold on, princess …” Jason's voice shook as he bounced against the bed with the force of her movements. But he eventually managed to push himself up and grab her by the waist to lift her up slightly. She growled and snapped at him with her fangs, but he just chuckled and held her in position.

“Calm down, princess,” he reassured her lazily. “Just tryna get comfortable.” He shuffled up the mattress to lean back against the headboard, then loosened his hold on her, allowing her to continue.

X began rolling her hips against him again, her movements hard and fast. Shit! He felt so good! His thick cock stuffing her completely, his swollen tip hitting that one spot that had her entire body relaxing with pleasure. She could feel a howl starting to build up deep inside of her; a call to her mate, a warning to mark her territory. But there were still some parts of her she was too ashamed to share with him, so she did her best to swallow it back down.

She kept whining and whimpering, like she was trying hard to silence herself. But he didn't want her to silence herself - he wanted her to let him in, to feel safe enough with him to let him see all of her. “What's wrong … princess?”

“H-H-Hooowl …” X winced as the urge continued to press against her throat.

“Y-You … You wanna howl?” Jason asked, another wave of desire hitting him as she made her eyes all round and sweet.

She nodded eagerly, her features still scrunched up in embarrassment. Jason tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “You can howl if you want, princess.”

His voice was low and gravelly as he said it and she found herself unable to hold back anymore. She pushed him against the headboard and finally let out a shy and adorable little howl.

“F*ck.” How the f*ck was she so cute?! Jason buried his face in her breasts and glided his hands along her sides and up her back. He tugged on her nipple with his teeth then circled it with his tongue before sucking on her. X whined at the sensation and let out another soft howl as she continued to bounce on his cock. “Shit.”

Jason released her breast and his head fell back against the headboard as she slammed him against it again. X yipped happily when she saw the dazed look on his face, then she curled herself around him to nip at his ear. Jason winced and tightened his grip on her before letting out another curse. “F*ck!”

X giggled against his neck and slowed down a little, rolling her hips slower, but harder, against him. God, he felt good, thick and warm and filling her up so very nicely. She gripped onto his hair as her body shuddered, her p*ssy pulsing around him desperately as she came for him.

“F*ck.” Jason kept his arms around her as his entire body tightened, and then he was coming too, his c*m shooting into her cervix and coating her walls with his seed. X slumped over against him, her entire body relaxing at the feeling of his warm semen inside of her. Then she closed her eyes and took a moment to listen to his heartbeat, the steady sound of it soothing her. They stayed like that for a while, the both of them holding each other in silence. Then finally, “I love you.”

It was so soft that she almost didn't hear it at first. She transformed her ears and angled them towards him in question. Did he … Had he really said it? After months of her being the only one who would? Jason let out a small laugh, then pressed a kiss to the top of her head before repeating himself. “I love you, X.”

X sat up to grin at him, her tail wagging furiously behind her. “I love you too, Jay.”

[according2thelore]

I’ve been devouring your ES/LS verse tags, and you know what i can’t stop thinking about? How purely ESdean loved ESsam. Like. My baby bother can do nothing wrong. You killed that guy? Guy must’ve done soemthing it’s ok. And how that was absolutley ripped away from Sam by season 4, and he never actually got it back. Not from his POV. In Sam’s mind I’m pretty sure he knows Dean loves him- but it’s part obligation, part history and pattern, and part *in spite of* all the shit. Not the same kind of absolute devotion he grew up with until Dean died (of course it is, but not to Sam). It can’t be. Not after he didn’t save Dean from hell, the demon blood, the voicemail, Lucifer, the amulet, soulless Sam, purgatory, etc etc.

And now. Now. He’s gone esDean right THERE. A Dean that still loves his Sammy the way lsSam thinks he’s lost forever. And lsSam didn’t even know how much it hurt to lose that until he’s looking at it. Like he’s been bleeeding out for decade about it and n it even really noticing. A brother who loves him- absolutley- is back. Is right there. Is looking at him the way he used to. Before Sam ruined everything.

Holy shit how bad does that fuck up lsSam. I don’t see how he wouldn’t become obsessed with esDean. And I mean obsessed. Wanted to be around him all the time. Just soaking up what he thinks he doesn’t have anymore and can only have fire little while as a reprieve. I cannot emphasize the obsession.

To the point where lsDean notices. Like. Really notices. Because he never actually stopped being devoted to his brother, and Dean? He’s never experienced Sam being obsessed with someone else. Not ever. He thought he had- Stanford or ruby- but that wasn’t the same. That wasn’t this. That wasn’t Sammy staring at someone with all the love he has for Dean and soemhow even more stars in his eyes. It has to drive lsDean insane. Insane insane. He grew up to be a mean sob, and this is pushing every Sam button.

I caaaaaaant. An insanely depressed and fucked up laSam being based with the younger Dean, while lsdean froths at the Mouth.

Chefs kiss.

GAHH!!!!!! this is beautiful!!!! everyone stop what you're doing and read this!!!!!! i love the way you phrased this @bickbickbarnes, and i am frothing at the mouth reading it over and over again!!!!

i wrote just a little thing about this--i hope that's alright!! your (totally on point) description of their dynamic really captured why i love LS!Sam/ES!Dean sm!!

AN: i fucking lied this thing is 1.3k words...i hope you like, lol!

-lizzy

"woah!" dean shouts, and sam jumps a little. he whirls around, and younger dean is running up to him, eyes wide. his arms are thrown open, machete dangling casually from his grip. he punches sam in the arm when he finally catches up to him. the smile on his face is blinding. "sammy what was that, man?"

sam drops his own machete to the side. he's still heaving for breath, having just decapitated a vampire that ran at him. older dean and sam are standing off to the side, and sammy notices his younger self gawking at older dean with something...heavy, something hot, in his eyes as dean hauls one decapitated body over his shoulder to start the pyre.

"what?" sam asks, looking back down at young dean. he looks down at the body and nudges it a little. did dean think he didn't cut all the way through the neck? the body jiggles.

"that was so fucking cool." dean crows, and sam turns back around to look at him, taken aback. dean is grinning so wide that it closes his eyes. he shakes sam's shoulder. "grandpa!" dean calls, and older dean looks over with a scowl. "that's how you do it."

"oh." sam's chest feels tight, and he feels hot creep across his cheeks, up his neck. "thanks."

dean is still patting him on the back, and sam hasn't been praised like this for taking out a vampire since they first found out they still existed. sam jostles under dean's arm.

"'thanks'--" dean repeats, scoffing, and raises an eyebrow at younger sam, who's scowling. "humble, too."

"whatever." sam spits, and stalks off. sammy doesn't take dean's arm off of him, expecting him to move it, but he doesn't. not for a minute.

~~~

"i knew you could do it!" dean snatches the book out of sammy's hands, and sam's chest feels weird--tight--as dean beams down at the page. they'd been researching werewolves all afternoon, and sam finally found a passage in urdu that mentions the strange scales they've been finding at the murder sites. dean squints at the words like he can read it at all, and nods. "my geeky little brother never loses."

dean states, dismissive, a sarcastic grin on his face like he's mocking him.

"uh--" sam starts, trying to find the footing in this conversation. the praise is casual--purposefully degrading--but it's praise. older dean hasn't blinked at sam finding a clue--in any language--for...god, years probably. they've just gotten that good.

dean peeks a look up at him, and sam is stopped by the strange look in his eyes.

"tried to strangle the inner nerd with those things--" dean gestures at sammy's arms with a casual hand and a raised eyebrow. "--but you couldn't." dean looks up, and his smile is quiet and softer. his tone is admiring. "man."

dean shakes his head and looks back down at his own book--written in english--with a bottom lip cushioned around a pencil.

sam folds his arms, conscious of them again. that's been one of the biggest sticking points for younger dean: sam's size. strangely, sam suddenly wishes he was smaller. small enough that dean--this dean--could do...something. sam can't put his finger on it.

it had been a long time since being with dean felt like this, since the tension was full and heavy and warm. it feels like long drives and quiet silences and shitty whisky passed back and forth under the table.

sam's breath catches when he realizes...it feels like home.

being with dean always feels like home, but this feels like sitting back down in the childhood bedroom that sam never had and letting the mom he never knew pet through his hair and tell him it was always going to be okay.

the world is so strange and terrifying and smaller than sam had any right to know, but dean--this dean--nudges his foot under the table without thinking about it.

he loves him in the way that children love things--without equivocation, without years of betrayal and revenge and torture and nightmares.

it's dean.

sam nudges his foot back, and greedily drinks in the pinkness on the top of dean's ears.

~~~

older dean wipes blood off of his jaw, and sammy helps younger sam off of the floor. the kid is fine, but younger dean immediately takes the burden of him, sliding under his arm like he's always been there.

sammy notes that older dean's eyes track the kid, too, and sammy rolls his eyes. he's fine.

the cave they're in is dark, and sam can feel the damp like a cool sweat on his skin.

dean clears his throat, "okay we need to split up, i say--"

"i'll take dean," everyone--including sammy--is surprised, when he speaks up first.

sam shifts his arm over dean's shoulder, and pushes sweaty bangs off of his forehead.

"don't you think we should split experience levels--" he starts, but sammy cuts him off with a finger.

a finger pointing at the man under his arm.

"i meant dean," sammy says, and sam straightens, shocked out of the performance of needing dean to stand.

"yeah," younger dean says, straightening too. his eyes are bright, and his smile is so satisfied that sammy finds himself smirking, too. "he meant dean," dean says, glaring at older dean. sammy pats him on the shoulder, hard, and dean obediently follows after him as they split up.

"don't worry, i'll protect you." dean says, after a while, young voice echoing over the cavern walls and reverberating in sam's skull. sam wishes his internal voice sounded like this, instead of...sam shakes his head to clear the thoughts.

he looks down at dean, whose chest is puffed up. it's all play-acting, and they both know it. dean looks up at him, and gives him a slow once over that makes sammy have to swallow, hard. "don't think i could human shield you, but...i'll do my best." dean smirks.

sam punches him in the shoulder, and then has to kneel on the ground as the hit takes dean to the floor, apologizing profusely.

~~~

"shit, man," dean hisses, and squats down so he can press a rag to sam's head. sam freezes, shocked by how close he is.

sam is forty. this kid is twenty-seven, but he pats at sam's cut and coos sympathetically like he's tending to a child. sam knows his head wound must gush again, because all the blood in his body rushes to his face.

sam had been cut by a piece of glass but it was shallow, and the slice had been clean.

"that was nasty. are you okay?" dean asks. sam stares at him.

dean's eyes are green, and his freckles stick out on his skin. fuck, he's gorgeous. he's so fucking gorgeous.

his lips are plump and pink, and his eyes are soft and round. it's disney princess shit. sam blinks up at him, and feels like he's fourteen again, and this boy could fix every single thing that's wrong.

his mouth is dry.

"who was the centerfold model in the '89 playboy i kept in my bag?" dean asks.

"reneé tenison" sam mutters automatically, dazed, and dean's face splits in a shit eating grin.

"i always knew you read it after me." dean crows. but he still pats sam's cut like he's porcelain. "dirty bastard."

sam nods. fuck. he'll be anything.

"let me help you up." dean sits back on his heels, and sam obediently raises his arms, palms up. he's being babied. he's being babied.

~~~

"dean--" sam leans back, book open in his lap, and older dean looks up. his gaze softens when he catches sam's eye, having been glaring and muttering down at his record player for the last hour and a half. he's gutted it on the table, and is fiddling with wires because he's not going to pay some some man-bun yuppie $700 to tell me what i already know.

"yeah?" he asks, clearly relieved for the reprieve.

sam winces.

"no, sorry, dean--" he points at younger dean, slumped over the couch in the library, flipping through the hunger games with a rapt expression.

he snaps to attention, dropping the book on the floor and denting the cover. "oh! yeah?"

sam holds up the book in his lap--a catalogue of the weapons storage room.

"i found it." he grins.

dean scrambles off of the couch, almost sliding up to sam like someone slides into home plate.

"DUDE!" he snatches the book out of sam's hands and reads it rapidly. he looks down at sam, beaming. "your brain scares me." he gives sam the book back, and tries not to look interested as he asks, slowly. "do you think we could--"

sam looks down at the open page. the kitsune death sword. it was said it could peel the skin off of people that looked at the gem on the hilt.

dean's excitement is contagious, though, and sam can feel his own grin spreading. he looks back up at him.

"it's on the fourth floor."

dean is already running out of the room, and sam scrambles up to follow him, the distant "fuck yeah!" of dean making sam sputter with laughter.

he doesn't notice the expression on older dean's face when he leaves.

~~~

"GAH!" dean almost drops the ladle into the pot of mystery soup on the stove. sam leans in the doorway of the kitchen, having been observing his quiet puttering for a few minutes. "jesus. sorry. you're big. i mean--" dean holds out his hands, dropping soup on the floor due to the ladle still clenched in his fist. "you're here. WHICH IS GREAT. sorry, you're big."

his cheeks are bright red, and sammy tries to arrange his facial features into sobriety.

"yeah, i am." sam says, somber. "big and great."

dean sucks on his teeth, pink up to his ears, and leans back over his soup, muttering.

"brat." he admonishes, and sam snorts. he walks the few steps into the kitchen to lean against the counter next to him.

"what're you doing?" he asks. the soup smells okay, but sam can see cut hot dogs swirling in it. his stomach churns.

'i found a recipe book from the 40s and they have something called a 'triple meat sundae.'" dean says, holding up the card for sam's perusal. sam takes it from him, and reads the truly terrifying recipe list.

"that is...horrific." sam replies. marshmallow creme and barbeque sauce??

"figures you're still a snob." dean rolls his eyes.

"a snob with functional arteries." sam reminds him, putting the recipe card back by his elbow.

dean is silent for a long second, looking at him with warm eyes.

"bitch." dean says, tentative. hopeful. it almost sounds like a question. fuck. sam hasn't heard that in a while. in a long time. not since dean wore that necklace everyday like it was the best thing to ever happen to him.

sammy's eyes fall to it now, the mark of ownership clear to him in a way it had never been before.

"yeah." sam says, chest full of loveyesmine. dean's face falls, slightly, and he's quick to correct. "oh--sorry--jerk."

dean nods, hiding his grin behind the ladle of his radioactive soup.

~~~

"you didn't come to bed last night."

sam sits up, and sees dean--older dean, sammy's dean--looking down at him. there's a cup of coffee in his hand, and he puts it down next to sam's elbow. sam takes it gratefully.

he's been sitting at the war table all morning, and realizes his shoulders ache.

"hm?" he takes a sip of his coffee, and tries to un-kink his spine. dean is wearing just a henley today, and sammy admires the way it pulls across his chest as he crosses his arms.

"you didn't come to bed." dean says again. it takes sam's brain a second to process it.

he had been sneaking into dean's room--their room, really--for the past week, as sleeping alone had become irritating and exhausting. his own room had become dusty and felt barren in dean's absence.

they'd been trying to sleep separately for the sake of their younger selves, but agreed that what they didn't know didn't hurt them, as long as they didn't do it every night.

"oh. yeah. sorry--dean wanted to watch the sopranos finale. we couldn't find you or sam so we watched it in the dean cave." sam snorts, remembering the look on his face. "you should've seen him, he--"

"i know." dean cuts him off abruptly. "we watched that finale together in 2008. remember?"

sam looks at him again, brought up short. dean looks...

"oh. yeah. sorry." sam mutters, leaning into dean's leg because the sudden emotional distance has him on uneven ground.

"sam and i were in the archives. like you asked us to." dean says, lowly, and it has a bit of rasp from clenched teeth. sam sits up straight. oh fuck. he had asked them to find the file on that norse battle axe, hadn't he?

"oh, shit." he puts the mug down, and wraps a hand around the back of dean's knee. he rubs a hand over his own face. "sorry, it's been...a lot."

there's a hand in sam's hair, and sam leans into it shamelessly, relieved that he's been forgiven for this, at least.

"yeah." dean says, but his voice is still tense. "i know."

~~~

the door is closed. and both sams are in the library. so no one is there to see it. or hear it.

but if someone was walking past the door to storage room 14C, this is what they'd hear:

"--back off." the voice is tense. low.

"back off? you sound like the old man." a scoff.

"i'm only telling you once. we can't fix this shit yet, but you gotta stop hanging around him all the damn time. he's not your sam."

"why? you feelin' threatened?" a taunt. "your dick not workin in your old age? sammy want--"

a slam. a crash. something gets pushed to the floor, and things scatter across tile.

"i'm telling you. to back. the fuck. off."

"you can't hurt me." the words are choked.

"i can't kill you. there's a difference." rubber soles on a concrete wall, like someone is kicking at it. fabric rustling as a body is pushed up a wall. "it's a biiigggg line. huge." the voice is a growl, but the threat of violence is gleeful. excited.

something drops to the ground. heavier this time, and someone gasps for breath. footsteps walk to the door and almost exit, when--

"i can tell you i'll stay away all i want. can't stop him from coming to me."

~~~

older sam takes great care to ice younger dean's knee that night, and coos over his black eye. younger dean won't tell him what happened, but leans out of sammy's gentle touch when older dean walks by and asks what happened.

older dean fucks sammy through the mattress that night, so deep sam feels like he's going to choke on it. and sam wears the bruises for days.

he loves it.

[kisbunzies]

More silly tf2 headcanons because i know more about them than valve does.

Sniper is practically nocturnal. You wont see him all day but you will find him sitting on the couch in base with snacks and a movie going like it 3am , no shoes or shirt despite it being February and his camper being parked like a mile.away acting like its totally normal. Will literally nap anywhere during the after noon dont be surprised if one day you find him hanging upside down like a vampire.

Speaking of which this mans goes everywhere shirtless and shoeless . gas station ? Shirtless and shoe less . walmart ? Shirtless and shoeless .middle of winter ? Maybe he's got socks on. They have to yell at him to get dressed or atleast put on sunscreen so he doesn't get crustier than he already is.

Pyro's really good at open flame cooking , bonfire grill gas stove flambae torch they can make anything as long as it requires fire. Also pyros mexican and atleast half of their "strange noises" are just them mumbling to themselves in spanish.

Heavy likes cozy stuff , he's struggled enough if he wants hot cocoa and a knitted blanket he can have hot cocoa and a knitted blanket. Owns the fuzziest pair of bear slippers known to man. Also i feel like he's a salmon guy idk maybe he rlly is just a bear but guy.

Saxton hale likes men.

Scout if so painfully straight. And i dont mean straight as in sexuality i mean straight as in pure fucking aura. Ms pauling comes out as a lesbian and he says "oh shit i like girls too we should date" sees heavy and medic kiss and his brain doesn't acknowledge it. This is true even is scout likes dudes he's the 1970's equivalent of those guys nowadays who wear nothing but nike and use the word gyat unironically and im tired of pretending like he isn't.

Ms pauling wants to be a merc so bad she thinks that its so cool but her mom told her murders for boys so she's just the administrators assistant/hj

Demoman has the most curly , bouncy , volumous gorgeous hair under than beanie. He keeps it in cornrows most of the time but when he does wear his hair out its a sight to behold.

Engineer makes the corniest , most dad like jokes known to man , its literally horrible they all groan so loud whenever he does but he thinks its hilarious.

Sniper , scout , pyro and soldier are all sour gummy worm addicts to the point that their stash takes up and entire shelf in the base pantry. Go through a costco bag a week.

The local costco dreads their presence , engineer and sniper and in the outdoors section, medics necromancing the chickens , pyros was the one roasting those chickens before they got necromanced, they managed to lose heavy somehow , scout managed to convince spy to get into a toilet paper fort they made and now their introuble with management, soldiers ordering a forth of july cake despite it being october and demomans buying premade meal kits for dinner for him.and his mom over the week. Pyro saved him a necromanced rotisserie chicken. And yes sniper still isn't wearing a shirt or shoes they've given up.

Spy had eyebags and grey hair , misses when was young and spry , is a little jealous of medic managing to have a full head of dark hair.

Medics ethnically jewish. He gets his black market organs kosher .

And finally out of all the mercs soldier goes to.medic the most for actual injuries , scout goes the most for.minors , engineers got the most perscriptions including hearing aids and stuff for pyro he picks up , sniper never goes to the doctor and medic has to drag him in . spies the worse when it comes to appointments (doesn't like any part of him being seen and despit having spy training still doesn't like.needles) and medic favorite patient is heavy for obvious reasons

[see-arcane]

I'm trying to put 18-19th century literary vampires into categories, like tragic/tormented, romantic, vengeful, mindless/zombies, seductive, cunning, pure evil/sadistic, obsessive. And sorted into gender and places of origin (mainly German, French, English (incl Irish writers)) to see if there is a pattern for each. Might not find any, but I do want to categorize each vampire regardless.

Might even do one for their lovers and/or targets, too, some are benevolent, some malicious and punished, some terrified and unwilling, some ignorant but willing, one is Jonathan Harker (terrified and unwilling and then fully knowing and willing)

Do you think such a task would be interesting? From the vampires you do know about, have you noticed things like if the tragic/tormented ones outweigh the pure evil ones and so on?

It sounds interesting and handy for the classic vampire lovers out here!

In my experience, the most sympathetic tragic bloodsuckers in that era amount to those in Dracula (Mina and Jonathan as nearly-turned, Lucy and the Dracula crew as euthanized), "Clarimonde" (herself), Carmilla (also herself, though mileage can vary depending on how earnest you think her feelings for Laura really were), and every example in, "The Family of the Vourdalak" (due to the premise that vourdalak vampires are forced to prey exclusively on loved ones). But more often than not, vampire lit of the period had them being evil. And very often being a hot undead lady going after an aghast young man.

Though there are obvious exceptions--the original seductive male vamp and serial killer, Lord Ruthven, of "The Vampyre," and more wicked matronly figures like "Good Lady Ducayne" and "Mrs. Amworth,"--I've run across a surplus of examples where the setup amounts to 'Hot Evil Vampire Babe Seeks Stalwart Youth to Prey On.' Because while the phenomenon hadn't exploded as it would in 20th and 21st century vampire stories, using the undead as desire-based pressure release valves in literature was a good cover for scratching certain non-Victorian-principles-approved itches. As long as the vampire = evil, the vampire could also = seductive. Basically the narrative shorthand for 'oh no I sure hope this powerful bloodsucking dom demon doesn't put me in a trance to drink and/or fuck me into also being an immortal evil sexy bloodsucker ha ha' <- said every guy* behind the typewriter.

*With the exception of "Good Lady Ducayne," written by Mary Elizabeth Braddon, you'll notice all of the aforementioned stories are written by men. You will also notice that "Good Lady Ducayne" is also the only story in which the vampire figure is an old crone and not a voluptuous tempter archetype. I'm sure this means nothing.

[2manythoughtz]

Damon Vs Stefan, But They’re Both Toxic

One of the most popular debates on the internet ever since the first season aired is: which Salvatore brother is the best love interest? But is it really up for discussion?

(before reading, this is only my opinion based on my knowledge of the series, I'm not trying to hate on the characters or the series)

Most movies and series have their fanbases discussing many topics which can lead to real divisions among fans. The hottest topic you can ever discuss with another fan is probably what’s the best ship (romantic couple) or love interest.

The biggest example is probably the Twilight Saga which has people still arguing whether the best love interest is Edward or Jacob.

Speaking of supernatural romance, The Vampire Diaries is still to this day one of the most popular TV series, with eight seasons and two spin-offs, it quickly became revolutionary.

Seeing how people still talk about it, I wanted to compare the Salvatore brothers and explain why they’re both terrible choices. To do so, I will focus on both of them singularly so that, even if you haven’t seen the series or you don’t remember it that well, you can understand my point of view.

Stefan

I’ve seen so many people arguing that Stefan is the best love interest because he’s “the good one” and his love for the protagonist, Elena Gilbert, is so pure. 

While I can see why one would think that he’s not as “evil” as his brother, I wouldn’t say that he is good. In fact, I think he’s just as bad as Damon on so many levels.

But let’s take it from the start. We meet Stefan immediately in the first episode, he’s portrayed as this mysterious, good-looking and emotionally unavailable guy who was extremely acclaimed in every 00s movie. He’s enrolling in the same High School as Elena, and we can see right there that he’s not like any other boy in that school.

In fact, he’s a vampire and he’s decided to study there just to meet Elena. Why, you would ask. Well, because Elena looks exactly like Stefan’s old lover Katherine. Funnily enough, a few seasons later we find out that Stefan never truly loved Katherine, they had their share of fun and he cared for her, but once he realized what she had done to him, he immediately resented her. 

Elena and Stefan fall in love and they help each other whenever something goes wrong, which happens very frequently. Because of that, they get separated and their love slowly fades away as they break up after a year together. 

Elena gets with Damon, but we’ll talk about that later, and Stefan has some up and downs before falling in love with Caroline. Their relationship is peculiar in a way, at first they both push each other away, then get together, then push each other away again and then get back together again. 

Spoiler alert: Stefan dies in the end as he decides that he wants to sacrifice himself to help Elena and Damon live a happy life together as they wanted. 

So, as you can see, he seems like a very gentle and honorable guy, but there’s more to be said about him. 

Stefan is a ripper, he can’t control himself around blood and ends up losing his humanity as he slaughters and eats every human along his path. He’s known for killing entire villages, spreading chaos and fear. Sure, one might excuse him because later on it’s revealed that he got that gene from his mother. 

But let’s put it this way. For Stefan blood is like alcohol for an alcoholic, they may not know what they’re doing when they’re drunk but that still doesn’t excuse their actions, the same goes for our vampire. 

Stefan is a hot mess as a vampire, he’s a ticking bomb and only has two regimes: he either feeds on animals, which results in him being way too weak, or he drinks blood and goes crazy.

Not to mention, the young Salvatore isn’t exactly an angel. He’s done many wrongdoings throughout the series but they’ve all been forgiven just because he’s Stefan and everyone likes him, only in the last season he finally realises everything that he has done once he becomes human, a big foreshadowing of his death in the end. 

He’s still manipulated and killed people because they were getting in his way, but maybe that doesn’t really count as toxic seeing as most characters in TVD do so without any problem. 

So let’s talk about his attitude throughout the 8 seasons. Stefan has had a few love interests after Elena broke up with him, that wasn’t necessarily his fault since he had been compelled by Niklaus to turn off his humanity, but even after regaining his humanity, he seems off and distant. 

After Elena, Stefan is confused and doesn’t really know what to do. But just as he was about to get over her, his brother gets sucked into another dimension (so much happens in TVD, so I hope you can keep up with me) and he decides to just leave everything behind and get a new life and a new girlfriend.

That doesn’t go too well since the girl dies soon after, he was never really into her and never opened up about anything with her. 

So later on he realizes that he’s in love with Caroline, what a surprise, but the two of them cannot be together yet. Once they actually become a thing (it takes a while), Stefan’s first love appears and Caroline is very jealous.

Does that stop Stefan from running away with his first love and having a relationship with her as soon as he’s in danger? Nope, he does leave Caroline without saying anything and spends years with his first lover. 

Not to mention, as soon as he gets back in town he gets dumped by the girl and he goes back to Caroline. She accepts but tells him that he can’t run away from her anymore.

He kind of runs away again? He proposes to her but he’s also wanted by the Devil to work for him, so he turns off his humanity and leaves Caroline… again. 

See a pattern here?

In the end, as I said, he sacrifices himself for Damon and Elena… right after marrying Caroline. 

Now, I’m not saying he’s the worst person in the whole series, but I must admit that his relationships were all very weird and superficial. He never really got in-depth about his feelings with anyone a part maybe from Elena. He always sacrificed himself for Elena, which was cool when they were together, but after breaking up my question is… why? He gave up on his brother when he thought he was dead, but never gave up on his ex-girlfriend? 

Let’s see it from Caroline’s point of view. Her boyfriend took his sweet time to realize that he liked her, he left with his first lover, proposed and then immediately un-proposed since he worked for the devil, he had a full debate about whether he should’ve married Caroline and after marrying her he basically kills himself for his ex… 

As I said, I don’t think he’s exactly good. I personally think that he’s very toxic in his ways, we just learn to ignore it throughout the series because he’s always painted as the best brother. But to be fair, even if he had stayed with Elena things wouldn’t have gone any better between his blood problems and tendencies to sacrifice himself for anything. 

Damon

Let’s talk about the older brother.

It’s fair to say that most people love Damon even if he’s the bad boy, or maybe they like him because of that. 

I honestly think that he’s had a big character development in the first 3/4 seasons, but after that, it got really boring and repetitive. At least, unlike Stefan, he learned to value himself and those around him. 

Damon is presented to us as this jerk and heartless older brother whose only goal in life is to torment Stefan for everything he’s done to him. That promise gets forgotten very quickly in the series, but that’s a different topic. 

I personally cannot stand Damon in the first 2 seasons. He’s so exaggerated in every way, he’s made out to be this big bully who kills without remorse and sleeps with everyone. 

He literally kills for no reason if not for fun, but everyone gets over it very easily, if not for a few times when they kind of point out to him that he’s not the best person ever, but what really ticked me off was the way he treated Vicky and Caroline.

Vicky’s death is something spoken about every season with her making an appearance every single time. So many things would’ve changed if she hadn’t died! And Caroline… well, I just felt sorry for all the abuse she had to endure and that everyone ignored once she became a vampire.

Can we also talk about the fact that Damon is like 25 (ignoring the fact that he's been alive/dead for 170-something years) and sleeping with Caroline who’s 17 while having a crush on Elena while she’s also 17? Yikes.

He’s very determined to find Katherine, his only true love who is later revealed to be a traitor and a liar. Everything Damon has done to get her back means nothing and the worst part is that Katherine has always been in love with Stefan and Stefan only. 

Once his love dream gets destroyed, he focuses on Elena full-time. He seems to be dependable on his love interest, meaning that he lives his life based on that only. 

And his personality doesn’t really change when he turns off his emotions so there’s not much to compare him to, if anything it just makes it worse because it means that he’s always so bloodthirsty and perverse in a sense. 

He doesn’t really have any relationships other than Elena and Katherine, he does hook up with many people throughout the series but it’s nothing more than sex most of the time, except for a few women he befriended.

The only good development he had was about caring for his friends other than his girlfriend. But that doesn’t cancel the fact that he was willing to kill and actually killed Elena and Stefan’s friends for nothing. But yeah, there isn’t much to say about Damon since his main problem is killing people here and there and his obsession with his love interest.

But even that doesn’t stop him from sleeping with other people while being deeply in love with Elena or Katherine, although this is a bigger problem in movies and series, cheating is so normalized that people don’t even think about it anymore. While one could discuss that he didn’t really cheat since Katherine was allegedly blocked under a church and Elena was asleep and couldn’t wake up. But is it really a good excuse? I mean, if his love for her was so deep that he wanted to become human and spend the rest of his life with her, shouldn’t he only want to sleep with her?

As per toxicity, in his relationships, he’s pretty stubborn and easily irascible. He’s Stefan’s opposite, so while he’s understanding and open to confrontation, Damon tends to think that his opinion is always correct and there is no other way until proven wrong, and even there he won’t admit that his idea wasn’t the best. I think it’s safe to say that he has some anger issues, every time he has an argument with someone or feels threatened he goes rogue and unleashes his anger on people. 

He’s not the nicest but as I said, that doesn’t mean much. He might not be as nice as Stefan but that doesn’t make him worse, to be honest. 

So in conclusion I don’t think that there’s a better choice, both brothers helped and ruined Elena's life in many ways. Both of them had this superhero complex and wanted to sacrifice themselves all the time, they could’ve just come up with another idea or something half of the time but they didn’t. And every time Elena got in trouble it was mostly because of them, because someone wanted to get revenge on what they did in the past or simply to hurt them and she was the perfect way to do so. I’m also pretty confused by the fact that they fell in love with Elena just because she looked like Katherine at first, Damon’s infatuation is plausible since he was head over heels for that woman, but Stefan? He never really loved her, so why approach Elena in the first place?

Like most stories with supernatural characters, vampires are not the healthiest partners. Stefan or Damon? That’s not an easy decision, but not because they’re both amazing people, although they did care for Elena till the end. They’re both toxic and difficult to deal with but maybe that’s exactly what made them so memorable and acclaimed by fans. No matter how cold and scary they could seem, they had a sweet side of them with the people they really cared about.

Which brother do you prefer? Let me know!

[lolotheparagon]

Yknow, dating sims sure do make up the wildest shit to justify you dating standard anime guys. Hey, do you want to date actual historical figures (Napoleon, Vincent Van Gogh) but as vampires? How about you get isekaied into the middle of a fantasy civil war with the warring armies representing different Alice in Wonderland characters and Wonderland is actually a generic fantasy kingdom and btw you are the reincarnation of Alice for some reason, oh hey you want to date these mafia guys in 1920s Italy but Mussolini is not mentioned (almost as if what’s the fucking point setting this game in Italy) Or what if you want to date modern Japanese cops? BUT DONT WORRY ALL COPS ARENT BAHHHD. Do you also want to discuss the inherent corruption in the police for- Hey, you wanna play as a time-travelling reporter who finds a wholesome found family with her studio-mandated male harem? Sure, but after we spend two hours failing to tackle drug trafficking and illegal immigration and using trauma for shock value. What about a game where you play a woman who suffered amnesia and is trying to piece back the fragments of her past with her chosen boyfriend and you have to rekindle your relationship with him? Nah, lets leave all her characterisation to a pixie flying in her head and make her harem consist of an abuser, a serial rapist, her math tutor and a terrorist. Theres one where you play as a librarian who got kidnapped and sent to the palace and is forced to sign a royal contract where you have to MONITOR 1 OUT OF 12 PRINCES to see which one should be the king cos the brothers are split into two parties on which one should be king and only the woman can choose cos apparently the contract need some pure hearted woman to be an unbiased party?? WHATT. There's a game where you play as a literal living doll with poisonous skin who's the clone of someone's long dead daughter being abducted by a fancy thief and now lives in steampunk London to start a new life BUT OOOHHH IT TURNS OUT YOU HAVE A SECRET LITTLE BROTHER WHO REVEALS YOU WERE THE 666TH CLONE EVER EXISTED AND IT TURNS OUT YOUR CREATOR DAD HATED YOU WOOOOOO SCARY!!! QUEEN VICTORIA IS THERE AND ALSO A TERRORIST WHO WANTS TO NUKE GREAT BRITAIN WITH THE MC'S POWERS AND A MAGIC TREE. (well at least they were accurate in Britain's vampiric levels of colonisation) OH AND APPARENTLY THE SOURCE OF YOUR POWERS COMES FROM A HEART SHAPED PHILOSOPHER'S STONE EMBEDDED IN YOUR CLEAVAGE.

BUT WAIT THERE'S STILL MORE

There's another game where you play as the female reincarnation of Cupid (So Aphrodite, then?) and you are sent to Earth to be a matchmaker and you would think someone whos a literal love goddess would be very worldly, snarky and doesnt fall for any traps men pull in dating BUT NOPE SHES JUST AS DAINTY AND NAIVE AS EVERY OTHER VISUAL NOVEL PROTAGONIST. WHAT ABOUT A GAME WHERE YOU PLAY AS A WOMAN WHO JUST TURNED 18 AND BECAUSE SHE IS THE LAST OF HER "WHITE" CLAN SHE HAS TO GET A HUSBAND AND EVERY TIME SHE DATES A PERSON FROM A DIFFERENT COLOURED CLAN HER HAIR GETS DIFFERENT HIGHLIGHTS AND ALSO THERES A RIGID CASTE SYSTEM IN THE WORLD BASED ON THE COLOUR OF YOUR CLAN AND THERE IS DISCRIMINATION AND PREJUDICES AGAINST THE CONSIDERED LOWER COLOURS, SO MUCH SO IF A HIGHER COLOUR CLAN PERSON DATES A LOWER COLOUR CLAN PERSON, THEY GET BANISHED INTO THE UNDERWORLD. COS THATS WHAT DATING SIMS NEED! CLASSISM, RACISM AND EUGENICS! THE WHOLE FUCKING NINE YARDS.

AND FINALLY IF THAT DOESNT SELL YOU, WHAT ABOUT:

A GAME WHERE YOU PLAY AS A DAUGHTER OF A PRIEST WHO HAS THE BLOOD OF EVE (my god XD) THAT MAKES HER IRRESISTABLE TO VAMPIRES AND SHE BECOMES A SEX SLAVE/CHEW TOY FOR EVERY ROMANCEABLE CHARACTER IN THE STORY. AND YET WE'RE SUPPOSED TO SYMPATHISE WITH THE RAPIST VAMPIRES BECAUSE THEY HAVE MOMMY ISSUES....THIS GAME BECAME A MULTIMEDIA FRANCHISE

...Whatever happened to games where we just date decent people?

[friendlyfaded]

redacted characters as games in my steam library/games folder

vincent-vampire the masquerade: bloodlines. this one should need no explanation. vincent is literally a textbook toreador.

sam-stardew valley. he seems like a relaxing, slice-of-life type gamer. as much shit as he gives the gamecube, you know this man played the fuck out of animal crossing.

gavin-huniepop. yet another assigned game that should need no explanation.

huxley-minecraft. he build in the dirt. that’s all i got.

damien-little inferno. might seem a little on-the-nose, but the themes of escaping the grind of what everyone else is doing, a grind that is actively harming everyone, and seeing what no one else sees to escape that cycle, reads as extremely damien to me.

lasko-huniepop 2. don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to. (it was either this or baldi’s basics. i’m allowed to slander him, i’m a lasko kinnie)

caelum-wobbledogs. cute lil alien puppies that you can feed and play with and crossbreed to make eldrich abominations that shouldn’t exist. i just know he would fucking love wobbledogs.

vega-fran bow. as much as i adore him with all my heart, vega is just very remor-coded. he beats up children. that’s all i gotta say about that.

milo-prey. 😇

david-destiny 2. i don’t have to explain it. you already know.

asher-sea of thieves. i just know my man is absolutely killing it with sea of thieves. he has a story about trying to take over a ship using a rowboat and accidentally going to the final quest of the game with the crew of that ship instead.

aaron-alien isolation. this one is based on pure vibes. i don’t got much of an explanation for this one beyond delving into a dangerous world your family member is involved in to save said family member.

elliott-valheim. i don’t know a whole lot about elliott, i’ve never paid much attention to his storyline, but he seems like the kind of nerdy guy to really enjoy valheim. plus, co-op game to play with his best friend and partner. it works super well.

camelopardalis-subnautica. he’d find it extremely relaxing and would adore all the fauna in the game. he has never killed a leviathan and doesn’t plan to. his favorites are the reefback leviathans.

avior-detroit: become human. kinda funny that this one goes to avior and not james, but avior absolutely has the vibes of a guy fully realizing that people entirely different from him have such life and value to them and gaining a new appreciation for them.

anton-hydroneer. i feel like he’d enjoy the logistics and openness of the gameplay. plus, the scenery is pleasing and aesthetic. he’d enjoy the foresty vibes of the starting area.

james-pokemon reborn. maybe it’s personal bias, maybe it’s just that the game has a bunch of dark themes involving world-ending disasters and one person being forced to make difficult choices to save it, costing several lives unintentionally and being separated from loved ones and traumatized in the process, but it fits him almost too well.

geordi-skyrim. geordi has logged thousands of hours in skyrim and no one can convince me otherwise. he mains a bosmer and is super proud of his challenge build he did where he followed the green pact for the entire game.

guy-don’t starve. he cooka da pizza. he would make sure you never starve. plus, i feel like he’d be really good at survival games like this, and he’d really enjoy the art style.

[edwardskhakipants]

Which of the following statements sounds the most right to you:

Edward and Bella have the potential to complement each other beautifully, and it is enjoyable to watch them work past the divisions of class, age(lessness), parental issues, and vamp status towards that.

Edward is a compelling character, with a balance of skills and abilities that make his deficits easy to bridge functionally, but not happily, and seeing him happy brings much joy.

Bella and Edward's love is purely tragic, and much of the tragedy stems from the fact that their codependent mess of a relationship was inevitable. Jacob never had a chance, no matter what anyone might have wanted, and the sadness in that, building through that pain, is a beautiful endeavor.

Bella and Edward share a transcendent love, one so powerful it is a shame to deny it, to complicate it. They make each other happy, and the things it might have taken to get there are worth it for such a beautiful thing not to be crushed.

I identify with Bella, and would also like a vampire boyfriend please.

I am new to the fandom, in any sort of relative terms, so I wanna know why people other than me are still around thinking Edward is the Best Guy in 2024.

Probably the second. Edward is the most compelling character in the saga to me. He lived for decades as the odd man out, in every, single way. The seventh wheel to his family. A monster pretending to be a schoolboy, always as an outcast. A vegetarian freak among monsters. A mind-reading freak among vegetarian monsters. For him to finally find Bella is so rewarding.

It's so easy to forgive his mistakes because they are genuinely made from a place of love. He learns all his lessons the hard way, which makes his victories all the more victorious. The lessons he learns stick with him, and he adjusts his behavior based on what he learns. He's sad and lonely and resound to live that way for eternity. There's a perfect line in Midnight Sun that captures his character perfectly. I can't find it in over 800 pages of book, but it's when he's thinking about the fact that he doesn't blame Carlisle for changing him, but "someone has to be at fault; why not me?"

Your first bullet point is a close second, I honestly think Bella and Edward complement each other perfectly. There's a lovely passage in Midnight Sun where Edward considers how perfect she is for him... A strong scent to capture his attention, a silent mind to hold his interest, a beautiful face to ensnare his heart, backward instincts to allow him to stay close... something along those lines.

Bella's silent mind is enough for me to root for their relationship. To enjoy silence while in the company of someone is a huge deal! I cannot imagine the relief he must feel.

Furthermore, Edward is exactly what Bella needs. He is the one to care for her, the first to put her above all, the one who asked her to talk about herself for 3 days straight. Our girl needed the undying, unconditional love no mortal man can promise.

[captzexx]

2023

2023.

Well, we're halfway through it and I just figured now would be a good time to update all the stuff that is or was or maybe going on with this blog.  If you're still here, thanks for staying!  If you're new, hey welcome!  If you're on your way out the door for a pack of smoke or to get the milk, see ya soon dad!

So here's the rundown.

This is a hub for all the crazy/mundane/weird/eyerolling roleplay writing stuff that I think I'm pretty decent at. On good days.  It's been a year since I had my surgery and I have literally killed a third of myself.  Now to just keep him dead.  Which is hard as my brain is in a good/bad place most of the time to match my body which is in a good/bad place, but I'm keeping it together.  Most of the time.

So if you're interested in a collab, are collaborating, or going 'where the hell did that guy go' I'm still here and I'm getting it back to form.  Ish.  I promise I'll try not to let you all down if we're interacting or will be at some point, which I would love to do!

Now that that's out of the way, here's where I'm playing these days!

THE BLOGS

@sailsonaseaoffate - My Spelljammer blog came true!  Fantasy based sci-fi adventures with Treasure Planet vibes that I do my best to stay with the setting though as with all lore I make my own!  I do what I want.  Either way, this is where most of the Candell family has found a new home on the remade Wayfarer as they search through Wildspace for a way home for some, a new home for others, or bringing that final piece back to their puzzle.  New foes, new ships, plenty of sarcasm, and lots of face punching.  Adventure among the stars with a multiversal family of rogues and swords!

@conduitdreams - Cyberpunk is getting closer to reality than we ever thought possible, which is both very exciting and terrifying.  I'm hoping to lean more into the exciting part of it, but horror and terror are common themes for me as well.  Pulling a lot from cyberpunk epics such as Bladerunner, Strange Days, and Cyberpunk Red/2020/2077, I've been doing my best craft my own little slice of synthetic neon dystopia to build a few stories from.  Midwich is a floating city built in the Gulf of San Andreas after the great quake that split California from the mainland essentially making it's own free floating city-state.  Where most see it as the end of the world for golden state, it has done but flourish thanks to move and now is the ultimate producer of food supplies as well as other natural resources.  New trade markets had to be made and with it came the creation of these middlemen cities that processed items from place to another. It's very loose setting in my head that is welcome for more voices and ideas to help flesh it.  Come run the net and see with artificial vision searching for a soul!

@acrowamongsparrows - Steel for men, silver for monsters.  I love horror.  I love fantasy.  I love the Witcher.  Would I call myself a superfan?  No.  I would I call myself a big fan?  Hell yes.  Do I know all the minutia and information about the world?  Good god no.  But I did make my own witcher and I did piece together a 'Scooby-doo' crew for him to battle all sorts of things that go bump in the night.  I am no lore god (I do respect it though) but these are our stories and I feel like we should be able to tell them how or why we want to.  So, if you'd like to hunt monsters, beat up elves, and dodge vampires join me as Eld of Kovir travels with his nephews into the depths of monstrosity.

ON HOLD

@thedreaminghunger - I had high hopes for Oplisca and wandering the cosmic horror I built up around her with the mythos and the bits of Warcraft butchery that I'd clung too.  But I just can't seem to get a hold of it.  I'm not sure I have enough level in pure weird to truly give her what she needs to become the monster I see in my mind for her.  Traversing the multiverse in search of herself so that she can consume them and grow in power in the many eyes of her 'Love'.  Maybe I'll get there or if someone has an idea to push my feral end of space witch into stratosphere I dream of.

@memoriesofivalice - My poor FF14 characters, I had a big cast and a lot of my mind when I tweaked and created them all for this MMO.  I loved the game but I found myself spending most of my time alone and just kind of got tired of the story grind.  I joined a great guild of storytellers and people, but my heart just couldn't get into it.  As much as I distance myself from WoW, it still hurts me so deeply after everything that happened and continues to happen with them.  Maybe I'm tainted with MMOs.  Maybe I should revamp to just be a Final Fantasy blog and do my own thing with people.  I mean there's 16 of them and only like two really connected by sequels.  I hope an idea comes because this cast deserves to not be forgotten.  Or maybe rebooted at least.

@withanemeraldeye - 'Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of. And unto this, Conan, destined to wear the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a troubled brow.'  I used to play a lot of Conan Exiles and I honestly can say I watched Conan the Barbarian once a month when it's streaming as I love everything about sword & sorcery.  Pulp fantasy has always been huge for me to match with the incredible art and style presented by such artists Sanjulian, Jeffrey Catherine Jones, and the king himself Frazetta. So making a brutal pulp fantasy character was inevitable for how much I dig the simple but exciting concept.  But it's been quiet here for me and that breaks my heart for what I put together for Voldrin in the Exiled Lands fighting for survival with the Black Sword across his back.  I hope I can get back into it again.

FUTURE

I am interested in anything or anything to collaborate on.  You wanna do an urban fantasy adventure?  Let's do it Dresdan style.  Airships and moncoles?  I'm there.  Transdimensial time travel with Quantam Leap infintie lives?  That sounds really cool and I would love to explore it.  We run a coffee shop for people in the urban heart of a Pacific Northwest City?  That sounds a lot slice of life, but I am intrigued on what it may bring.  

The skies the limit for me and all we need is to do is say 'Hey I got an idea!'  

So, that's me.  It's 2023.  I need to be creative.  So do you.  

Team work makes the dream work.

Or synergy.

Insert corporate slogan.

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

So, thanks to dracula daily, I watched Bram Stoker's Dracula (the title is a fucking lie). Spoiler warning for that, and also, well, for my rambling.

I just really need to talk about it, this is no analysis or rating or anything, really just me talking.

The beginning is promising. I really liked the colours and all, even if Drac was hard to understand. But that part was pretty neat.

The story begin was surprisingly accurate. Like, they even read parts from Johnathan's journal! Not sure if it's directly from the book, but that was a nice detail. A couple scenes in the castle were confusing and, uh, weird, but mostly it was accurate! We even got Dracula's lizard fashion!

And the brides- now I get what that one post said about vampire titties. Oh my goodness why are they half naked. I know vampires are like all sex and the stigma around it and shit but why so much.

Then there was Mina and Lucy and....... I know the whole "sex bad! the protags are good bc they are so pure!" kinda sucks but. idk. she just doesn't feel like Lucy, At All. BUT Jack's entrance was neat.

I also liked that they gave Renfield a backstory as the first guy to go to Dracula.

The Demeter had so much missed horror potential... well, you can't have everything.

Okay but WHAT THE FUCK was up with that werewolf dracula thing?? Seriously what the Fuck dude. What The Fuck. Also... the whole fucking thing. Like, literally. Why did our bitten girls try to get out their boobs. Why. Like, c'mon, yeah vampires sexy we got it, but the Number 1 Symptom being "Boobs Out" is, uh. yeah.

Okay, but they kept the "Jack, the woman you loved is dead. I want to cut off her head and take out her heart" which is literally sooo funny I love that.

HATE HATE HATE THE DRACMINA BULLSHIT. WHY IS HE THERE. WHY IS HE BEING CREEPY AND SHE FALLING FOR IT. LITERALLY WHY THIS MAKES NO SENSE. YOU DIDN'T EVEN MAKE HIM A SEXY ROMANTIC GUY OR ANYTHING HE'S LITERALLY JUST A CREEP THAT SHE TRIED TO RUN AWAY FROM AND NOW SHE'S INTO HIM??????

Johnmina marriage..... in an actual church. They deserve it tbh.

They burned the boxes lmao. Renfield was done dirty in here, really. HOW DID WE GO FROM "*punches him* YOU MURDERED LUCY!!" to Sexy Makeout Scene (that happens to be a scene of incredible violence and (sexual) assault in the original!)

Hunt for Drac was pretty short tbh. Mina, honey, they skipped you part in this and I'm so sorry for you. And you characterization and arc in general. Also why the fuck are you kissing Van Helsing and Why is he kissing back. What the Fuck.

The final scene at the castle with dracula is......... I am. Not A Fan. I mean, she got to kill him, which is neat, but she did it bc she loved him, which sucks. Also Quincey my boy........ aurgh.

Soo.... in general?

Was it a good film in itself? Yeah, I guess so. Too much boobs and sexy stuff for my taste, but it was a good film. Well made, no unnecessary blockbuster shit, the setup and all was really neat.

Was it a good Dracula adaptation? Hell nah. Inspired by the book? Okay. Based on the book? Questionable. "Bram Stoker's Dracula"? Honey you couldn't get further from Stoker. The heart of the book are the characters. It's Johnmina's love, it's the polycule, it's everyone hating Drac So Much for what he did to Lucy and Mina... and that just isn't in the film. I have literally no opinion on the characters except Lucy because I just cannot see LUCY in her, and Mina because what is going on with you girl, and that's just sad. Dracula wasn't really likeable, but you didn't hate him, either, which in itself says that you kinda missed the point of the book.

Also the type of horror was entirely different. Like, in here? Dracula was A Guy. A scary, powerful, undead, monster guy, but still a tangible person.

In the book, it's this unknown thing in the background. You don't know what he does, why, where he is, what he thinks. You think you meet him in the beginning, but then he's gone. He's the unknown horror, you think you're safe and suddenly he's There, only to disappear again and you know you can never be safe until he's truly dead, but how? How can you kill this monster that doesn't seem to be like any human At All?

It was a good film. It just wasn't a good dracula adaptation. I kinda liked watching it, but I didn't need to watch it either, and I definitely won't again. I'd rather reread the book.

[genuinerio]

STILL INTO YOU ↠ 「 XAVIER THORPE 」

NOTES: I hope that this story turns out well. The first chapter will come out soon. I hope you all enjoy! Also, happy new year. I’m sorry, I decided to change my OC’s name after all and give it a new boho/indie vibe after some inspiration plus I’m a huge Bob Marley and reggae fan.

FURTHER NOTE: I’m unsure if this story will go on further based on what has been revealed about Percy, I’m deeply sorry.

Profile of Marley Cameron.

ABOUT ↴

FULL NAME: MARLEY SLOANE CAMERON.

NICKNAMES: MAR, THE QUEEN OF SARCASM. (everyone), MARLS, DARLING, SUNSHINE. (xavier).

HAIR COLOR: BROWN.

EYE COLOR: BROWN.

HEIGHT: 5’6.

PLACE OF BIRTH: JERICHO.

DATE OF BIRTH: 3 JANUARY 2005.

ZODIAC: CAPRICORN.

AGE: SEVENTEEN.

CLASS: VAMPIRE.

STATUS: ALIVE.

ORGIN: WEDNESDAY (2022).

OCCUPATION: STUDENT AT NEVERMORE ACADEMY. (currently), WEATHERVANE. (part-time barista).

AFFILIATIONS: NEVERMORE ACADEMY, OPHELIA HALL, WEDNESDAY ADDAMS, SAN FRANCISCO PACK, NIGHTSHADE SOCIETY.

FAMILY: UNNAMED. (father), UNNAMED. (mother), UNNAMED BROTHERS. (older brothers), UNNAMED. (younger sister).

FRIENDS: XAVIER THORPE. (best friend), AJAX PETROPOLUS. (close friend), YOKO TANAKA. (best friend, roommate), WEDNESDAY ADDAMS. (good friend), ENID SINCLAIR. (good friend, like a sister), ROWAN. (good friend), TYLER GALPIN. (friend), THING. (friend), EUGENE OTTINGER. (friend), KENT. (friend).

ENEMIES: BIANCA BARCLAY. (currently), DIVINA. (frenemy).

SEXUALITY: PANSEXUAL.

LOVE INTERESTS: XAVIER THORPE. (eventual love interest, friends to lovers), AJAX PETROPOLUS. (first date), TYLER GALPIN. (kissed), UNNAMED. (previous ex-boyfriends and girlfriends), UNKNOWN WOMEN. (kissed), KENT. (possible crush-by-on).

POWERS/SKILLS: PARTAKES IN FENCING AND IMMORTALITY.

STRENGTHS: KINDNESS, NOT AFRAID TO STAND UP FOR THOSE THAT NEED IT NOR HERSELF OR FOR THOSE SHE LOVES, OFFERS COMFORT.

WEAKNESSES: AFRAID OF EMOTIONS AT TIMES, FEELS LIKE SHE CAN EASILY SELF SABOTAGE HERSELF.

GOALS: TO FIGHT THE HYDE.

HOBBIES: FASHION, PHOTOGRAPHY, TO STIR DRAMA FOR BIANCA, CAN PLAY BOTH THE BASS GUITAR AND DRUMS.

FIRST APPEARANCE: WEDNESDAY’S CHILD IS FULL OF WOE.

CURRENT APPEARANCE: A MURDER OF WOES.

FACE CLAIM: CHINA ANNE MCCLAIN.

FACTS ABOUT MARLEY ↴:

1. She is among the group of outcasts that are Vampires at Nevermore Academy and has to wear dark sunglasses in daylight.

2. Marley is apart of the Nightshade Society alongside some of her friends like Xavier and Ajax.

3. At times when hanging out as he draws, Xavier often considers Marley to be his muse for certain art projects.

4. Despite wanting to deny, Marley sees herself’s self confidence as a pure facade to hide how she truly feels and in refusing to accept.

5. Her and Xavier have been best friends for quite a while to which this causes others to falsely believe they are secretly together and have feelings in a romantic manner. This irks them both but especially Marley because she believes a guy and girl can be strictly platonic friends without a romance.

6. Feminism is something that she finds very important to her, Marley believes that women can do anything that a man could do.

7. Her parents named her Marley after famous reggae legend, Bob Marley who her parents, whole family alongside herself are huge fans of.

[this-is-a-name-dont-worry]

Borrowed it! Gonna share what happens:

Chapter 1 opens on Jonathan in the carriage with peasants. He doesn't understand a word of what they say, but they offer him some food and the local wine. In the charriot, Jonathan reminisces how he ended up there: he was supposed to go on vacation for a month in Whitby, Arthur invited him. Jonathan was impatient to go there to see Mina again, that he met at Whitby. She was visiting Lucy, he was hanging out with Arthur. Also Arthur plays golf and he and Jonathan met because of Jonathan's job. The exposition done, Jonathan arrives at destination, it's very spooky, and chapter 1 ends.

In chapter 2, Jonathan is welcomed by a weirdo (a vampire, but he doesn't know).The guy makes him wait, and go see the count. They speak in Romanian, and John is very proud he knows the basics so he can follow along. The guy is named Skinski, and he has a very ominous conversation with count Vlad Ciuc where Jonathan hears the count doesn't want him to wander around the castle. Also Dracula looks like a corpse and is described as a giant.

Jonathan feels uncomfortable, but still thinks he's gonna get out of this place quick. Also Dracula just throws a mattress on the floor for him to sleep on, man has no manner.

Jonathan gets to play "The red flags do not exist if I don't see them!", as he sees his reflection on a glass but not the one of the count, and puts it on "Huh. Must be the glass that's strange. This is a perfectly normal job don't think about the weird shit the count just said."

For Drac house: it's near Whitby, and near an ancient Abby, part of it having been turned into an asylum.

Also I think Jonathan just drank blood. Chapter ends with Dracula envelopping Jonathan with his arm.

In chapter 3, we see Mina and Lucy! There's no room at the beach, so they go watch a boat race on the decks. Mina decides who takes which deckchairs based on their outfits, that dorks. She lets Lucy have the red one, it contrasts nicely with her pure white dress! this is not at all foreshadowing in the slightest.

Lucy tells Mina that Arthur is asking her hand, and like yeah, she likes Arthur, but she's not more enthusiastic than that. But it's what she's expected to do, so. Mina wonders who will marry HER. And then she remembers Jonathan, and is like "ah crap I have a crush on this guy who likely doesn't like me back".

Lucy informs us that the estate Dracula is buying belongs to the Holmhood family. Also that Arthur wants to keep Lucy informed about all these stuff, which is nice. Lucy is a bit pissy, but not good Lucy adaptation is to expect. She's still ok for now.

Mina goes for a walk and meets with Swales, who tells her "ghosts don't exist but vampires 100% do", to which Mina answers "bs". Chapter ends with Mina running back to the Westenra's domain, so she doesn't miss dinner.

[captainswanandclintasha]

The Vampire Academy promotion sucks more than anything.

No offense but we are 15 days away from the premiere of Vampire Academy and their promotion in media and/or social media is.... bad to put it nicely. 

BTS photos of actors doesn’t really mean promotion. Just as thirst traps doesn’t mean promotions (Kieron is hot, yes, we can’t deny it, but why should someone who never met him or Dimitri, watch the show just because there’s a hot guy in it? It’s the same thing as promoting a show by putting out pictures of the very hot actress!!). 

A post about a love triangle between Rose, Dimitri and Adrian doesn’t mean promotion when 1. Adrian is not even in half the show, 2. the “love triangle” should come in much later and 3. people who never read the books have NO IDEA who Adrian is.

Their goal should be attracting new viewers and possible fans. They already have the old fandom (which is more or less divided by the bad decisions they took) who will watch the show but do you not want to appeal to a new range of viewers that might or might not contribue to the next phases of the show?

Especially since they don’t have Netflix/Disney+/HBO behind to help make the show bigger.

Make promo videos to introduce the people into the story, release interviews with the actors, post promo pictures, stills, character posters, posters of any kind. Promote the show (as something other than Bridgerton wanna be). 

Having Julie Plec as producer/director doesn’t mean shit to people, there are people who won’t watch it BECAUSE it’s Julie Plec. The actors aren’t big names to count of self promotion purely based on their names, as you see in other shows and/or movies. You can’t even count on fans to promote it for you and apply the Spider Man: No Way Home method and not promote anything because the fans will. 

So yes, in conclusion their promotion sucks and they need to do better.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

How would you rank the Cullens based on who is the most disconnected from reality and who is the least?

Oh, oh man, excellent question, anon. And it's sad that we have such good contenders for this. Let's get to it.

1) Esme

"Disconnected From Reality" is Esme's middle name. This is one deeply, weird, vampire who at all times seems to be on a completely different planet trapped in the 1950's. Remarkably odd as Esme herself is not from the 1950's, she just somehow sucked in that era and has remained there to this modern day.

At any given moment in the series she says something completely at odds with the given situation, something purely from Planet Esme, and everyone just stares.

Such as the time in Eclipse when the family discusses who the unknown vampire in Bella's room could be. Edward, of course, blames the Volturi (he gives no sane reason of why they would lurk in her bedroom unseen and then simply leave).

Esme thinks it might be a nice vampire who wanted to become Bella's friend.

No one says a word. Bella notes that Carlisle grimaces, but can't say anything, he just can't.

2) Bella

Bella's closely tied to Esme by the end of Breaking Dawn, actually. She's Esme's second coming. She's prancing through the woods in Chanel to eat mountain lions, has a five-year-old three-month-old daughter, has a sex cabin with Edward. Bella's life is peak surreal and she does not seem to be recovering well from that. "WHEEEE, LIFE IS PERFECT," Bella screams as she frolics about.

Bella has no understanding of what vampires are, what she now is, what life in general is. Bella has left the planet. Goodbye, Bella, we'll miss you.

3) Edward

Edward lives in an Edward dimension that, while not quite as disconnected from reality as Esme's and Bella's, still isn't the planet Earth we all know and love.

In Edward's world, Bella is a saint whose middle name is Carlisle. Carlisle turned Rosalie for the purpose of making a Bride of Frankenstein for Edward (his favoritest person in the whole world), Carlisle and Esme's relationship is the greatest on the planet and one he should emulate, Edward is a protector of the coven and without his fighting prowess and mind reading abilities they'd all be doomed, the Volturi are the most evil thing to ever grace the planet, pimping out Bella to Jacob Black is not only an acceptable solution but an admirable one, pimping out Renesmee to Jacob Black is not only an acceptable solution but an admirable one that gains him a new son-in-law that a few weeks ago he loathed entirely...

The list goes on. I'm not going to even bother with links for this, just look up anything with Edward in this blog and you will find some damning evidence.

Edward at least seems to have some awareness of what's happening in the real world. Of course, his mind makes up its own facts about what's happening and especially about who people are, but he still at least seems to be somewhat present on our plane of existence.

4) Alice

Alice, per her gift mainly, sees reality very differently than we do but she does at least glimpse it. It just makes her think in such a way that the people around her are pawns instead of people, Alice has very little in the way of empathy.

However, she does accept her visions, doesn't rail against reality entirely, she just sees the world in a very different manner than the rest of us that lends itself to... interesting choices.

5) Carlisle

Carlisle's a fairly well-grounded guy except when it comes to his family. The amount of denial and doublethink that Carlisle engages in just to convince himself he's not that dog in a house on fire is impressive.

He so desperately wants to believe they're good people, that they understand the worth of human life, that he overlooks a lot. A lot. And what he doesn't overlook he convinces himself is a) in favor of human life b) not that terrible. Even when he also makes his family go to their victims funeral so that they might learn something.

They learn nothing.

6) Rosalie

Rosalie's pretty well grounded with a very large exception. Rosalie has a very rose colored view of not only the past she might have had but also humanity in general. Rosalie's beef with Bella boils down to the choices she thinks Bella's throwing away (in truth, Bella had little to no choice as the series progressed).

Rosalie sees the human life she could have lived as perfect, and not one very likely given her human life thus far. In Rosalie's mind, she wouldn't have married Royce, would never have been the victim of sexual violence, would have married a good honest man, had beautiful children, and a simple wonderful life away from the social climbing she'd done all her life.

Rosalie is not a stage where she can admit this probably wasn't the life she would have lived. More, that humanity is not a fix-all for everything and that life still very much would have been life.

7) Jasper

Jasper's also a fairly well-grounded guy with a large exception. He desperately wants his and Alice's relationship to work. He's so mired in misery and self hatred that he puts up with a lot, a lot, of garbage in that relationship and convinces himself that it's working. It's not working.

8) Emmett

Emmett's by far the most down to earth of all of them. He sees things pretty clearly, is very with it, and he might not care but he does seem to see things as they are. He notes multiple times in Midnight Sun that Edward's lost his marbles, is aware of Rosalie's emotional mess, and always manages to keep his perspective.

Emmett fully lives on our planet.