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#this is basically four rants in one
ritualcaster · 7 months
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For the record, i have read and enjoyed the comic:
"The four moons initiative"
I just dont post about it because i dont like the author...
I just don't like the way he does the story, releasing the bestiary with less than 25 offical episodes out is kinda boring, and makes the world feel artificial.
Plus, looking though the bestiary, almost ALL of the lore about ALL the different objects and types is just.... laid out...
Kinda boring...
Plus he seems to uave some kind of vendeta against people saying he copied "Objectified"
Which is understandable at first, to people came uppn the same idea at different times completely individually, not a crazy idea either (moster objects / bestials, i mean)
So thats belivable, but its like.
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Ok... 4 times is a bit much... especially all from the same website...
But you lnow what fucking gets me?
You know why im actually so pissed off here?
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...
Thats not the only time either, its not even too on the nose. A but different (not different enough imo...), her family tree being literal and all.
But this one.
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Get real man.
What the fuck.
Thats so fucking traced.
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You cant say "absolutely nothing was taken from objectifed" then do THIS SHIT.
Yes the objectifed art came out first, i checked.
I just dont like the story, the creator, or the website enough to justified this.
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ninullen · 1 year
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Already rewatching Season 2 and NEILMAN I'M IN YOUR WALLS
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kingproblem · 6 months
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police officers open up ❤️🥺
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baeshijima · 2 years
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gn today is such a bad day and its not even 11 am
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pnuk-r0ck · 1 year
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Math class was traumatizing today💔💔💔
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buckets-of-dirt · 2 years
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What is the point of a very specialized "watch" that costs the same amount as an actual smart watch (which have apps that theoretically do the same thing) but has fewer functions and isn't even very good at the one thing it's supposed to do?
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horrorwebs · 2 years
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i hate that its taking me so mich effort to learn how to play this fingerstyle song bc for someone whos been playing for like 6 years it should uhm. you know. it shouldnt be this hard
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missshame · 2 years
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Ding dong it's mental distress time
#Soon I'll make a sideblog where I can rant and shit and keep this one for music related stuff so I'll stop being so annoying on main#But for now#I feel so shitty lol kinda saw it coming kinda did not#Like yes I'm overworked cause I have been studying pretty much all day everyday since Monday and I also have studied a lot these past few#weeks#But at the same time I've been studying less than I usually would#Like I took two weekends off for Christmas and new year's eve#And I've never allowed myself to relax this much around this time because I always have exams in January#So basically I guess allowing yourself to spend time with your love ones for like four days isn't that crazy but I still feel like I've bee#Been very self-indulgent#And also the fact that I'm like almost getting enough sleep#Not studying past 8 or 9 pm#And allowing myself around 40 minutes of exercise a day makes me feel like I'm not doing enough#Like I don't feel like I'm studying enough unless my life is becoming as unhealthy as it could be lol like either I'm doing nothing but#study either something feels off#So yeah I'm very tired but like#Not derealisation kinda tired you know so I don't feel like I'm suffering enough to complain or to be allowed to expect a passing a grade#Which is fucked I know#Like I'm almost nostalgic from two years ago when I was studying all day during winter break and emptying bottles of rum in my room#At night to help me fall asleep#After studying real late#Anyway that's not how I imagined the#College life#also this way of studying led me to burnout the next semester#like I passed my finals but it was the lowest point for my mental health#and then i could not study for a whole semester and I failed#So like I know I shouldn't study more because I can't take it and it wouldnt work in the long run but I still feel like a complete failure#But nvm sorry goodbye
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roxannepolice · 2 years
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#you know where this is going#but this is szał uniesień (frenzy of exultations) by władysław podkowiński from 1893#and yes it was quite scandalous in fin the siecle#and there's a very dramatic backstory of passion and heartbreak behind it#that culminated with the artist cutting the canvas after breaking up with the model (the woman not the horse)#but onto the tag rants#I have been thinking of writing a review of I am the Master short story collection#which obv resulted in another wave of frustration with chibnall era's essentialism posing as existentialism#the collection has three stories relying on paralleling the master with the doctor#master of disguise where ainley dresses up as four#and night harvest which is basically an rtd era companion introduction episode#except the enigmatic stranger met by a too-curious-for-her-own-good young woman is the master#simple and works out as well as you might expect#(ainley gets outed because of gendered language and when you think simm will overthrow an evil system he goes i'll make it more efficient)#and then there's dhawan's the master and margarita#and obv i have an unjust grudge against this one because this title felt like a promise that was not delivered on#but objectively the story is good! just a bit overstuffed feels more like a draft of a novel than a novella#but generally the idea is that the master has his own pertwee-like camaraderie in soviet version of unit#and? has to? come up? with? illusions? to? *be*? the doctor?#idk if the aithor knew where potd will go or if cc read the story and thought *omg i have been so brilliant all along*#but this whole thing just feels so.#infertile.#like that's the only thing i feel when i look at cc's idea of the master as a self annihilating* character#*not self destructive they've always been self-destructive because destruction is a condition of construction#like berger's clown who always gets punched to the ground and always gets up they're an ironically redeeming figure#and their NATURAL similarities to the doctor are such a fruitful concept they were doing great fuelling the chemistry for 50 years#and now this. just. where do you go from this?#beyond spending a moment feeling moved by how moved i am what is to be my intellectual response? what's the discussion?#beyond but you see the doctor is good :33 because they make friends :33 and they make friends because they are good :33 ∞#tw: negativity
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rainbow-needs-help · 3 months
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i am going to fight god this fine monday morning because that fucker seems to have it out for me and it’s not even ten am
#i’m venting in the tags be warned#so basically#i wake up with a craving for kolaches and a cakeball from [local donut shop] bc their kolaches are top teir#however due to the logistics of living in a four person house with a two car garage in which everyone has their own car#my car is in the garage with two cars parked on the driveway behind it#i should have taken this as a sign#i did not#now at this moment i was the only one at home out of bed#and i didn’t want to make anyone get up to help me move cars around#and i don’t entirely trust myself with my brothers car anyway#but my mothers car was free!!#so i got dressed and went to her with a proposition:#if she would allow me to take her car to [local donut shop] i would bring her back whatever she wanted#she agreed so off i went#braving the monday morning traffic on the Main Road between me and kolache heaven#only to arrive at [local donut shop] and see a sign on the door#announcing that they would be closed for the week bc fourth of july#so now. i am tired. i am hungry. i am driving a car that i don’t like to drive. and my kolache dreams have been dashed#but!! there is another donut shop!! a local chain that also carries kolaches!!#sure they aren’t as good as local donut shops. but they’ll do in a pinch#local donut chain is as also closed this fine morning#i return home empty handed#accepting my fate of yet another day of egg and toast for breakfast#as i am preparing said egg and toast#i see my latte cup (the one i use every morning) in two pieces on the counter#so now here i am. with a sad latte-less egg breakfast#wearing clothes that are not currently comfortable#ranting on tumblr dot com to make myself feel better
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belladonnafleur · 8 months
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🧑‍🤝‍🧑
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opossumpitcher · 1 year
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crazy that for once in my life I'm excited to learn new things and these college classes are literally failing at teaching me anything
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anyroads · 2 years
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OK you know what, if we're gonna talk about Bake Off then fuck it, let's do this.
It used to be this wholesome, lovely show! We used to watch it for the bakers! And the learning! And the light banter and occasional bit of coy innuendo! What happened?
Channel 4 happened. When they bought the show they made a number of changes, most of them Not Good™️. Not just in the sense of them resulting in a lot of 😬 and 🫠 moments, but in the sense of how they changed the show's purpose, atmosphere, and brand.
Look, I know most people are just like, "whatever, it's just a baking show," and yeah, sure. But it's one of the UK's most successful TV exports, and where it once shifted the tone of reality competition to being wholesome and supportive of contestants, it's since moved towards creating tension at the contestants' cost. So aside from the fact that most people watching it signed up to watch a nice show, it has also shifted the goalposts of what that even means. And that, lovelies and gentlefolk, is some bullshit.
I decided to break my rant analysis into four main parts: theme weeks, the hosts, the judges, and the bakers. Let's get to it!
Theme Weeks:
If you watch Bake Off, you know the show's always had a specific theme for each week. The staples that come up in most seasons are:
cake
biscuit
bread
pudding/dessert
pastry
patisserie
Less common but consistent are things like caramel and chocolate week.
Then there are the fun episodes! When GBBO was on the BBC, this started out with things tea week, tarts, pies, tray bakes, basically little tangents still focused on emphasizing specific baking skills. In Series 6 (still on the BBC) they had their first nation-focused theme week with French week -- fairly innocuous given that a lot of patisserie is French, France and England share much more culture than either cares to admit [Norman Flag dot gif], and it was a nice change from watching Paul make the bakers do recipes that involved boiling things while talking about how wonderful boiled doughs are (are they, Paul? Are they?).
The show kept mixing it up with innocuous themes like advanced dough and alternative ingredients weeks, European cakes, Victorian week, batter week, and botanical week. And while it was frustrating to watch Paul Hollywood mispronounce things like the Hungarian Dobos Torta and lecture bakers on babka when he clearly knew nothing about it (or about Jewish baking in general, go off Past Me), the show's general attitude was that the judges had their own opinions, which were separate from the immutable facts around the chemistry of baking (more on this later) and shouldn't affect how bakers are judged.
After the show moved to Channel 4, the number of themed weeks increased and more of them focused on specific countries. In 6 seasons on the BBC, there were only two country-focused theme weeks, and in 5 seasons on Channel 4 there have been five. And while they've also had themes like vegan baking, roaring 20s, the 1980s, spice week, etc. the show has really started to go hard on exoticizing other cultures in outright disrespectful and racist ways. There's been Italian and Danish week, German, Japanese (it wasn't, it was East Asian week), and now Mexican week (which doesn't touch on interspersed Jewish bakes that didn't get a theme week, like versions of bagels and babka set as technical challenges that were borderline hate crimes and mansplained by a guy who has no idea how to make either and once wrote in a cookbook that challah was traditionally eaten during Passover). Each time the hosts played up the theme with racist bits and jokes that can be used as evidence in court if your case is "why should shows with scripted content have a professional writing staff."
Which touches on other issues the show has now...
The Hosts:
When GBBO was on the BBC, the show was hosted by ✨Mel Giedroyc✨ and ✨Sue Perkins✨. They encouraged the bakers! They'd hold stuff for them sometimes! They were interested in them! If a baker had a breakdown, they would start singing copyrighted material to render the footage unusable! When the show moved to Channel 4, they left, though I'm not unconvinced that Channel 4 offered them impossible to accept contracts to force them out so they could rebrand the show. They replaced them with Sandy Toksvig and Noel Fielding. Sandy was a lovely host in the vein of Mel and Sue, and she and Noel had a relatively sweet rapport, but she left a few seasons ago and was replaced by Matt Lucas.
Noel Fielding is mostly known for his quirky brand of comedy, a sort of British Zooey Deschanel who's goth from the neck up, an upperclass British gay divorcee from the neck down, and basically an early 60s Beatle re: trousers. Matt Lucas has almost definitely never watched a single episode of GBBO and his most redeeming quality is his thinly veiled contempt for Paul Hollywood.
The two treat the baking tent as their personal playground. Far from the supportive attitude of Mel and Sue, they tend to get in the bakers' way during the most stressful moments, especially when they try to do hilarious "comedy" bits (I can't not put that in quotes) like Noel's talking wooden spoon thing, or Matt talking over Noel to do time calls. During theme weeks like Japanese and Mexican week, they do culture-specific bits that are both racist ("just Juan joke" and "is Mexico a real place?") and unsurprising, given that both Matt and Noel did blackface on their respective sketch shows and absolutely could and should have known better because it was already the current fucking century.
All this to say, there's now a separation between the bakers and the hosts, as if they're on different shows. The hosts are doing their own thing and the bakers are doing GBBO. The show has gotten meaner to the bakers, and the hosts aren't there to support them anymore, they're just there to be comic relief. Because when you refocus your show on stressing the bakers the fuck out, you need a forced laugh I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
The Judges:
First of all, a sincere congratulations to Paul Hollywood who managed to squeeze I jUsT cAmE bAcK fRoM mExIcO aNd YeT sTiLL pRoNoUnCe PiCo De GaLLo As 'PiKa De KaLLa' and I aM aN eXpErT oN s'MoReS wHiCh aRe MaDe WiTh DiGeStiVe BiScUiTs AcCoRdiNg tO mE, aN eXpErT oN s'MoReS, just two in a giant pile of astoundingly wrong hot takes, into a short enough time span that they all aired within Liz Truss's term as Prime Minister. A true man of accomplishments.
In the interest of fairness, I need to preface this with a disclaimer that, due to the fact that I've been watching Bake Off for most of its run, I'm biased. Specifically, I can't stand Paul Hollywood's smarmy, classist, egomaniac ass because he's proven time and again he's more interested in looking smart than actually knowing what he's talking about. Since the show moved to Channel 4, they've changed the occasional handshake Paul would give bakers to the HoLlYwOoD hAnDsHaKe™️. It's gone from being an emphasis of someone's skill to a goal, a reward, and one that emphasizes the judges' place above the bakers.
The judges used to function as teachers, imparting their skills and insights to the bakers. When the show was on the BBC, the voiceover leading to a judging would focus on the bakers' work being finished, saying how it will now be evaluated based on their skill and how well they met the brief. The voiceovers now, on Channel 4, focus on the judging (literally saying something along the lines of, "the bakers will now be judged by Prue and Paul"). There is a clear distinction Channel 4's producers have made, to mark that the show is now about whether or not the judges approve, not whether the brief was understood and executed well. On the BBC, it was irrelevant whether the judges liked a particular flavor, as long as the bake was well-made. Now, the bakers are expected to know the judges tastes and cater to them, which is frankly bullshit. A judge doesn't have to like a flavor to know whether or not it was executed well, ie. is it carrying a bake and was it meant to etc.
The judges have been turned into a brand. Cynically, Channel 4 knows that by building them up and focusing the show more on them, they can exploit their image more for profit. In the process, they've become much more biased and their own biases have come out as well. Most recently in the flaming dumpster fire that was Mexican Week, Paul Hollywood tried to intimidate a baker by telling them he had just gotten back from Mexico (which must have been a fruitful learning trip if he couldn't even learn how to pronounce pico de gallo correctly). Where do I even start with this? Here's an amateur baker from England (the show specifically casts middle and lower middle class bakers for the most part??) who likely can't afford trips to Mexico, who lives in a country with incredibly limited access to Mexican cuisine, who is expected not only to understand the cooking and baking traditions of a completely different culture but to do so well enough to play with it and do something creative with it. On top of which, one of the judges is now using his privilege of traveling halfway around the world as some kind of leverage, as if this were a bar that any amateur British baker could clear.
Prue, meanwhile, has openly asserted her biases against cultural flavors and textures, prioritizing her own personal preferences over them, as if they were in any way relevant to the skills and knowledge necessary to execute the tasks she sets to the bakers. She has also been consistently elitist, criticizing bakers for choices they made that were clearly informed by their experiences within income brackets that are too low and foreign for Prue to comprehend. She once had a go at a baker on a Christmas special because his Christmas dinner themed bake didn't have a turkey, even though it was clear from the stories he shared of his own Christmases that his family likely couldn't afford one. "It's not really Christmas dinner without a turkey," Prue said into the camera angrily while sitting on a chair made of live orphans and telling the ghost of Christmas Future to come back when he had another museum gift shop necklace for her to round out her collection.
The show is no longer about which baker has the best skills. It's become about which mortal can appease the gods of Mount Olympus, ie. the judges.
The Bakers:
Remember when the show was about them? Channel 4 doesn't! Because this is a reality competition show, the bakers are chosen both based on their skills, as well as cast-ability. They're cast as characters, distinct from each other, from different areas, age groups, ethnicities. All of them are amateurs. All of them are middle or lower middle class. They've ranged from college students to supermarket cashiers to prison wardens to scientists.
Something I noticed when the show moved to Channel 4 is that the baker who goes home in the first week is always wildly behind the rest in skills. I have no proof of this other than my eyeballs and deductive reasoning skills, but I think that Channel 4 deliberately casts a ringer each season who they think will be an easy send-off in the first week, just to get the audience's feet wet.
Anyway, like I said, this show used to be about the bakers - about them building skills and learning, and having walked into the tent with a self-taught foundation and understanding of the processes and chemical reactions involved in baking. When the show was on the BBC, the end of each round had some (often brief) moments of tension - will they finish in time? Will they get their bakes on the plate before time is up? Did they forget to add sugar to their batter and only remember at the last minute? In the end, they usually managed to finish and we'd all breathe a sigh of relief and think, yeah! You go, Bakers Who I'm Rooting For!
Now, on Channel 4, the end of round drama has been stretched to be so much longer that they've composed extra music for it. The bakers often seem out of their depth, whether because the instructions for the technical challenge are too vague (bake a lemon meringue pie??? As if anyone in the UK under the age of 60 has had one in the last decade???), or because they were expected to bake something that required a more than a basic foundation they weren't told of. Often it seems like they just aren't given enough time, a tactic used by reality competition shows to manipulate contestants into giving the cameras more dramatic content. On top of all this, the hosts get in their way, instead of helping them plate their bakes. As has been pointed out before, when everyone fails the challenge, the real failure lies with whoever set it.
In conclusion:
The show no longer exists to teach the bakers - and the audience - skills or knowledge. It now manipulates contestants for dramatic effect and prioritizes showing conflict over wholesome content. Channel 4 sees the bakers as social media content they can churn out season after season, and don't care about them because in a few months there'll be a new batch to exploit. Meanwhile, the judges are also out of their depth, co-opting recipes from other cultures and butchering them horrendously, while the camera gives them nothing but status as they hold bakers to the expectation that they learn how to make things very much the wrong way. If you saw any of the tweets about Mexican or Japanese week, or read my post on how Paul Hollywood isn't allowed to go near babka ever again, you'll understand.
So what would fix all this? Scrap the current judges and the hosts altogether. Bring back Mel and Sue, and replace the judges with expert bakers who have a love of their craft and want to share it with others. The draw of GBBO used to be its warmth and comfort - if Channel 4 isn't going to start its own version of Master Chef For Bakers, then it needs to stop trying to find a balance of how it can insert that vibe into GBBO. It can't. That's not a thing. Stop trying.
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hanafubukki · 4 months
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Ok, I just can't get out of my head, big brother Silver and Malleus. Maybe MC and Lilia having their own child and it's a baby girl. She'd be the most beloved little girl in the Valley. I can imagine this is Silver's first time meeting a baby that young and he'd be so soft uwu. Like, he'd be her perfect prince and he'd be more than happy to live up to her image. He takes his role as being her big brother as seriously as his role as Malleus' knight. Malleus, meanwhile. I mean, the child is the product of his favorite human and his father figure. Say no more. Man would basically ignore a royal counsel meeting if it means going to one of her tea parties. Super duper important meeting... Yeah, that's a tomorrow problem. Man has a tea party to go and a messily writter invite in glitter ink is basically on top of his paperwork so he won't forget it. Ok, sorry for the rant. It's just nothing makes me softer than Lilia being a dad again and getting another member in his beloved family. Thank you.
Hello Anonie 🌺🌷💚
First of all Anonie, *grabs you by the shoulders* never be sorry about sending me these! I love love love fluff, especially domestic fluff! And adding on babies?! Ahsjsjjdd Anonie???? I’m the one who suffers from baby fever constantly ansjsjjdjfd believe me, I adore it. (My first fic was a lilia x reader who had a child together ahhhh💞💞💞). This is some of my faves to see in fics 💚💚🌺🌺
One of my fave ideas is a little girl being born into the Diasomnia family. I can see it change their dynamics but also not change it. Certain aspects will remain the same: teaching self defense/training, escaping Lilia’s food (unless she’s the rare one that likes it, to the detriment of everyone else haha), the pranks, etc.
But also, she’ll have these four overprotective figures in her life. Can you imagine when she dates? The sheer panic??
Malleus will eventually have to take a spouse, Silver might too, and now Lilia’s little girl? Papa is going to have a meltdown. Everyone is getting married and leaving him! (Ironic lmfaoo) But, relax, she was just born Lilia! She’s still a toddler! MC out here looking at this ex-general turned drama papa and enjoying the chaos in a fondly exasperated way.
Sebek, Sebek honey, you are so lucky not to deal with this 🤣🤣 that’s a Baul problem 😂😂
As we seen with Silver and the kids durning the bunny event, Silver is trying his best to be the best brother and Prince Charming figure to his little sister. He just…has trouble at times 🤣 But she knows her big brother Silver well just like she knows big brother Malleus, in her eyes, no one is as charming as them.
He’s going to take her and his animal friends to the meadows nearby. They’ll make flower crowns and talk about what’s for dinner as they forage for ingredients. I can see Silver teaching her to dance as Malleus taught him and Lilia.
She’ll sit on his shoulders and pick from apple trees. He’ll teach her how to pick berries. He’ll teach her about animal tracksand hunting. Of course, for now, she’s too young. But no one is too young to learn survival skills right? ✨✨
She can even train with him and he’ll carry her back when she’s tired. All tucked into him, safe in his arms.
As for Malleus? What meeting? His only meeting is this tea party that he’s been invited to. Don’t you see this messy yet glitter filled invite? How dare you try and stop him? Jkjk but at the same time I’m not. 😆
Big Brother Malleus is not going to miss out. He was late once, stupid councilmen, and the sad look he saw then had him almost burning the castle down. Lolol jkjk …maybe.
I can see Malleus getting busy with work at times, maybe so busy he late to dinner. Next thing he knows, there’s a tiny person peeking over his paperwork, giving him a look that can rival Lilia’s cute pout. (It’s even better than his in fact, no one tell Lilia but I doubt he’d mind. He’ll gladly give that mantle to his baby girl)
His baby sister asks him when he’s coming for dinner and it’s late, won’t he take a break? The way this Fae King folds? It would astound the masses. 💞
On the days where Malleus says he can’t join, oh my dear king, this baby girl is as stubbornness as her papa and brothers. She will pout and sit there, threatening not to eat until her big brother does. How can you deny that?
You know that phase that all little girls go through? The one where they want to marry the ones they really love? Watch these three just try their best to get her to choose them. 😂🤣
The winner is MC, of course, no one can beat Mama 💞💞 laughing at the thought of the three depressed in the dark corner.
Ahhh this was so cute! Thank you for sending this in Anonie 💞💞💚💚
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kalims · 1 year
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kiss your best friend | pomefiore
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kiss your best friend and see how they react!
parts. one, two, three, four, five, six, seven
characters. vil, rook, and epel
cw. non
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vil schoenheit
is the one that's all 'what are you doing, this is wrong' but is lowkey gaslighting himself that—hey, you kissed him. that must mean something, right?
he's scolding you, and frowning immediately. it's not that he doesn't like you, you'd be suprised at how much he adores you. but you know he won't just kiss you like that when he doesn't even know what the two of you are anymore.
and for vil, clarification, and assurance is something he needs. it doesn't matter to him if you're just doing it for shits, and giggles. cause you're only gonna get that vil boyfriend package if you assure him that it in fact, is not for shits and giggles.
speaking of giggles he's probably migrating to his room on that night, and smiling, giggling to himself 💀.
"this isn't just a joke, right?" vil whispers breathlessly, looking awfully vulnerable than you've ever seen him before. "this isn't what i really planned but no, it isn't,"
plan successfully failed cause whatever doubts in vil's mind has evaporated, he's leaning in already for another.
rook hunt
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE," <- you later that night when you look up from your phone, and see rook literally outside your window, smiling.
congratulations you've got rook hunt hooked, he won't ever let you go now cause you've basically charmed him to oblivion. it doesn't matter cause rook is always there trailing after you, and sighing dreamily looking at you from a bush with heart eyes.
you've struck an arrow at his heart now at this point.
unlike vil, this dude has no filter, and is greedily creeping closer to steal another kiss from you.
in his mind is basically just:
'best friends' -> you kissed -> now married apparently.
he skipped a few steps.. but he's there! 😁
"you really do like playing these games with me trickster,," rook sighs. "unfortunately for you I am a hunter, and I do not let my prey get away," I think this is the part where you run.
epel felmier
the definition of: QKBSKANSKJA
not to be girly pop or anything but *starts screeching into pillow*
he's honestly trying to hard to cover up his excitement cause he thinks he's losing more of the 'mature, manly' view you'd have but who wouldn't lose their shit when their crush..
well best friend that he likes randomly kisses him like they did in his dreams?!
what weird dreams you have epel.. 😭 I wouldn’t be surprised if he dreamt a whole life with you at this point, all he needs to do is wait for it to become real lmao.
he's gone so stiff in the span of one second, and suddenly forgets how to respond, speak, make sounds, everything.
contrary to belief compared to riddle's violent burst of red, he turns more pink, and I think is great to describe; shy.
EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN'T EVEN WANNA BE SHY AT ALL.
no dialogue cause epel is running to rant at either vil or rook.
not proofread
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thatdeadaquarius · 8 months
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I have a random idea for some sagau crack loosely based on my dynamic with my friend so Im giving it to you because I have been enjoying your sagau language stuff :D
Imagine there are two readers that are two different people. Like, not as in clones they are just two separate people that are rlly good friends on earth. They both really like genshin and play the game, and they both have self aware teyvat citizens. Reader 1 is a whale. They invest a l o t of money on the game, have all the characters, and all the characters have five star weapons. They are like the usual sagau reader you see. They have used up so much money on getting all of the characters, and I mean A L L of them, best weapons, constellations and put a lot of care into it. The place where they really get to show off is their knowledge and love for the lore, and are really invested into it and read all of the artifact descriptions and books. They know about primordial one, the four shining shades, random useless facts about items and often rant to reader 2 about their theories. Their quest bar is always empty because they did them to check out the lore of the game, and are always searching for more lore. They basically play everyday and are always reacting and talking to the characters out loud, unaware that they can hear them.
Meanwhile, Reader 2 is a f2p who is only interested in the archon quest lore and the lore of their fav characters. Because they are f2p, their options are limited so there is some blatant favoritism. They choose their fav character to save up for, and then pull for them. After they get the character they want, they will no longer pull and save up from there. Because of this, they only have like 5 five stars and only have zero five star weapon. Their favourite character is their main(*cough* wanderer *cough*), and unlike reader 1 who uses all of their characters regularly, reader 2 sticks to this character for most of their gameplay unless they need to use someone else. However, reader 2 takes almost an entire month to finish building a character, because they go overboard with the artifact stats. You would expect to normally have a 50 180 crit ratio, but reader 2’s dps characters always, and I mean ALWAYS have 50 200 crit ratio or more. Like, their main (it doesnt have to be wanderer but Im putting him here anyways) has 70 and 200 crit ratio, is crowned, full 4 pc best in slot, and is even crowned and faruzan only needs like 200 er but reader 2 gave them 300. (Im totally not putting this here because this is what I did/j) Reader 2 is also the type to never speak while gaming, so the first time they spoke everyone turned it into a national holiday to be celebrated. They also play a lot less than player 1. Player 1 plays everyday while player 2 plays for a month straight and then takes a long break to wait for the content to pile up.
So these two gremlin besties are always speaking with each other, and are always on coop. Whenever player 1 needs help making team comps or building characters, they just ask player 2 for help. And whenever player 2 needs help understanding the lore of the game, they ask player 1. But all I can think abt is the first time they cooped. Imagine player 1 was using childe and then when the coop starts, both childe and wanderer are very confused as to wtf is going on. Like, childe is confused because he sensed a strange aura coming form them like whenever someone gets controlled by reader 1, and wanderer is confused because reader 2 seemed so excited that they were talking, but its just childe? Reader 2 always skips childe’s banners.
Thats it lol, hope this wasnt too long.
Not long at all! Or more like, I like long asks so feel free to share! :D
IM SO SORRY ITS LIKE MONTHS LATER TO GET TO YOU I PROMISE I LOVE UR STUFF AND AM SUPER EXCITED TO SEE IT,
IM JUST SLOW AND GOOFY 😭😭
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Said friends in genshin like: ^^^
this kinda inspires me/reminds me of @mists-reading-nook soldier/poet/king post, you should check xe stuff!! Gave me brainrot to this day tbh, like im imaging how that “3rd King style of worship” would look like even now lmao ive been down bad 😭
Sun: 2 Readers! (as desc. above), (you/they/them)
Orbit: Headcanons-ish
Stars: wanderer/childe, mentions of others i forgot to focus on any one character or nation :/
Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing language, & Trigger Warnings: none known.
Please comment if I missed any. /gen
dual symbolism everywhere, obv you both thought “for the twins” but it just kept getting out of hand the more the game updated over the months lol
like shrines/temples/churches showing up more often in new countries/areas and always identifying the same 2 gods
obv the for-the-lore player picked up on it first, and by the time the trickle-down effect happened, where characters/NPCs were outright talking about these gods, the 2nd was asking the lore knower to explain lol
the 2 gods kept getting referred to by a few names, like “The Soldier and the Scholar” or “The Sage and the Warrior” or “The Keeper and the Pursuer” etc.
after awhile of comparing both of your games, you realize that some vision users/gods tend to use the soldier/warrior/pursuer titles more often when talking about one of you, and the other gets the sage/scholar/keeper more often
u both get excited, maybe its bc you chose diff travelers or some other reason, but when u try and post abt it or otherwise ask other players u get a lot of negatives/”hasnt happened for me”s??
u both just think the games glitched or some dev is playing a prank on you two maybe,
it gets weirder when u both realize the lore player be over here getting random gifts from all the characters in the mail all the time
and just as grinding players like “ :’( my favs don't like me?? but they have the best artifacts and maxed friendship levels..”
they get flooded with multiple gifts from their main characters, most of which benefit the grind tbh lmao (like a bunch of cheaper materials or crystals to level up artifacts/weapons or to ascend that character = no more slaughtering every samurai on sight for their handguards or collected a fuckton of those blue layered mushrooms for wanderer)
god u were both grateful to this glitch ngl, it saved a lot of dumb misc tasks and was just a nice touch
no but the amount of confusion inside the game from when u first started playing together, like each of ur games began with stuff abt 1 god, then as u co-oped moved onto 2 gods (like said at the beginning)
the lore player is blabbing away like you do, which begins to be heard by the other player’s game world
like it starts as whispers in battle, then all the time, then a quiet convo in the background all the time, until they can just hear u out of earshot esp word for word when they focus!! at first the vision-users/gods got all excited bc their god was speaking!! finally!!! until I'm sure they heard narration that didn't fit/it was there sometimes even when their god’s presence wasn't?/voice sounded “off” to them/didnt fit their god…??
ok ik u were joking abt the national holiday,,, but I’m not. 😈
THE FIRST WORDS 2ND SPOKE BEING IN A PROPHECY, REGARDLESS OF WHAT IT IS THEY SAY.
Player 1, playing as Childe, steals a singular (1) sweet flower from Player 2, who has Wanderer out:
P2: “I seriously hate you. Listen to what I’m saying, I can’t stand you.”
(Wanderer panicking that its abt him- Childe freezing bc he managed to piss off a god that feels as powerful as his own- the PROPHECY LMAO- )
P1: “… you miss me.”
(everyone else: 💥vine boom sound 💥😦😨😰???)
P2: “I hate you.”
P1: “You miss me and you love me, why must we fight??”
(everyone else: 💥vine boom again💥🤨🫠??…)
P2: “I hate you-”
P1: “-we gotta good thing going on, you and I, why must we tussle??”
(everyone else: 💥yet another vine boom💥 💀💀)
(the absolute deep anxiety/pure confusion as the two harbingers heads just ping pong back and forth towards the voices lmao)
u two scare the shit out of any characters u do this with lol
they do get used to it as u talk, and the characters even manage to interact (thru hacking magical shenanigans and discord)
to send thank you gifts to player 1 for getting player 2 to talk more lol
along with sending copies of any lore books that player 2 has gotten that player 1 hasn't!
and it becomes common/tradition to exchange gifts like this to thank or appreciate the other god, like player 1 characters sending thank you gift copies of rare materials or ascension stuff that player 1 had that player 2 didn't (esp making sure to send during resinless hours lmao)
overall, 10/10, whats better than 1 god that plays one way? 2 gods that compensate for each other and now u have 2x the worshippers
(i wonder how meeting alternate versions of themselves would go, bc id like to headcanon that each of ur behavior towards them/ur unique influence has changed them a bit comparing, like they arent carbon copies anymore, not like they used to be…)
hey sorry for slowing down guys!!
i just feel bad its taken me forever to get to these asks, so i wanted to take what time i could lately and charge thru them so i could spam post lol
I've also been working on fics! so that's delayed things by a lot, bc fics take longer to “respond to” than short asks or replies
my poor bsd fic
Anyway thank you so much for sending this in!!! I'm so sorry i took forever to get to it, and i hope u enjoyed response/my brain shitting this out lol
have a good weekend!! :D
Safe Travels Anon!!
💀♒
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