#this is literally what my partner has to deal with on a daily basis

[that-irrelevant-ricecakeaddict]

"Baby we're high on you."

Drug Dealer!Seonghwa x f!reader x Drug Dealer!Hongjoong

Shout-out to @seventhcallisto for helping me with the planning and writing of the smut scene <333 Do check out her writing!

Parts 3/3 of Drug Dealer! Seonghwa

>>Part 1:"She's a regular here..."

>>Part 2:"Use me like a drug!"

CW: threesome, unprotected sex (stay safe guys), switch!matz, drug dealers!matz, mentions of illegal activity, a little bxb action, lmk if I missed out anything!!

< [y/n]’s dms with Seonghwa >

Hwa 💞: sweetheart?

Hwa 💞: I kinda need need your help with something

Hwa 💞: It's a big favour…

you: What is it? You know I'll help however I can

Hwa 💞: Well, Joong and I need a safe place to stay at

Hwa 💞: That big raid on PARADIGM is happening soon, and many dealers are closing shop temporarily to avoid getting caught in the crossfire from the probable gang clash, MATZ included

Hwa 💞: Do you think we could crash at your college dorm for a week or two?

Hwa 💞: It's completely fine if it's too much of an inconvenience, of course!

you: Hwa, I'd love to have you guys stay over! My roommate is actually flying off tomorrow to visit her parents in her home country. She'll be gone for the next month, so you guys are free to stay longer than 2 weeks if you need to <3

Hwa 💞: Thank you so much, my love 🫶

< Present >

Your fuzzy socks swished against the floorboards when you scrambled over to the front door at the sound of the doorbell. Quickly pulling a stray lock of hair aside to make yourself look a little more presentable, you unlocked the door, coming face-to-face with your raven-haired boyfriend.

“Seonghwa!! You're here!”

You practically launched yourself into Seonghwa's arms, earning a chuckle from him. He tilted his head downwards to kiss your hair, wild hair strands tickling the tattooed skin on his neck. You hummed appreciatively in response, and snuggled into his snakeskin blazer. The two of you stayed this way for a moment. An annoyed voice from behind Seonghwa suddenly spoke up.

“If you guys are done making me feel single, I'd like to be able to put down my things.”

You leaned around your boyfriend to see his best friend and partner-in-crime (literally), Hongjoong, standing behind him, the fur from his fluffy winter hat seemingly irritating his eyes. He stumbled slightly under the weight of the heavy duffle bag slung across his shoulder. “Oh, sorry– let me help you with that,” you mumbled. He sighed and shook his head. “No, I'm sorry, you're the one helping us out here. I'm just feeling annoyed because of all the admin work we had to do for a fucking gang clash that we're not even involved in.”

You let him step around you to enter the apartment, while Seonghwa patted his best friend on the shoulder. “It's for safety precautions, Joong. Closing MATZ temporarily is better than possibly losing it, we've talked about this.” Hongjoong huffed in response from the living room, a loud thump indicating that he had plopped himself on the couch there.

Once certain that Hongjoong was out of earshot, Seonghwa leaned downwards, gesturing to you to listen carefully.

“Hongjoong's been more stressed from this whole ordeal. Usually he just has to deal with shipment schedules and arrangements, but the raid on PARADIGM gave him a lot more work to do, what with the postponing of shipments and smuggling tactics. He's also super ticked off about having to close shop, even though it's just temporary. Personally I feel like his current workload is equivalent to what I deal with on a daily basis, but, you know, to each his own.”

You listened attentively to his words, giggling quietly at Seonghwa's sassy remark at the end. He smiled and gave you a peck on the cheek.

“Thanks again for letting us stay over, sweetheart. We'll look after ourselves and do some chores around the place while you're at lectures, hm?”

“That would be so sweet of you. Though I'm honestly not complaining, since it means I get more time with you…”

“Mmm, I thought the same. But we,” Seonghwa's eyes lingered pointedly at the shorter man in your living room, “Won't cause any trouble. Promise.”

“I'll take your word for it, baby.”

Over the next few days, Seonghwa did indeed keep his promise of not causing any trouble. Emphasis on just Seonghwa. His best friend, on the other hand, was the exact opposite.

The living arrangements were as such: Seonghwa would sleep with you in your room, and Hongjoong would sleep on the couch in the living room. However, it wasn't long before you and Seonghwa found out that Hongjoong was secretly still doing deals with clients. And he was hiding his products in the crevices of your sofa. “The grind never stops, I gotta make that bag,” he'd protested when you confronted him about a box of ice that was shoved under a couch cushion. But thanks to Seonghwa's unlikely, but still plausible, argument of getting your dormitory raided under police investigation for illegal activities, he was able to get the younger man to get rid of the goods. Also, it wouldn't have been a very good look on you if Yujin, your roommate, came back to find tiny jars of weed rolling around under the couch.

Eventually, to prevent him from pulling another similar stunt again, Seonghwa and you agreed to let him sleep in Yujin's room, which was right next to yours and would let Seonghwa keep an ear on his best friend's movements. Hongjoong had readily agreed to this. Now both the threat of getting into trouble with the cops and the threat of dealing with Kim “your-couch-gave-me-a-fucking-backache” Hongjoong every morning were out of the way.

A few days passed after the new arrangements were made, and there was a particular morning that Hongjoong started acting weird around you.

It was the morning after the three of you had sat down together for a drink, celebrating you finally submitting a paper that had been torturing you for a week. Having gotten blackout drunk for the first time in a while, you didn't remember what had happened after waking up in the morning. You'd assumed that Seonghwa had just carried you back to bed after you'd fallen asleep from the alcohol (it wasn't the first time your boyfriend's had to deal with your drinking habits).

Yawning and scratching at your neck, you stepped out into the hallway, head aching from the hangover and stomach grumbling for something savoury. The sound of water running in the shared bathroom indicated that Seonghwa was taking his usual morning shower, so you decided to make breakfast for everyone. You stumbled slightly into the kitchen/dining room, surprised to see Hongjoong slumped over a cup of coffee at the kitchen island.

“Joong?”

The man jumped slightly at you calling him. He'd evidently been spacing out before you made your presence known. He dipped his head at you, his unusually jittery eyes avoiding contact with your own.

“Good morning y/n…”

“Why're you up so early? I usually don't see you awake and aware of your surroundings until lunchtime.”

“Ah… I slept earlier than usual after that drink with you and Hwa. So I managed to get up earlier.”

Hongjoong took your hum as an approval. Sure, it was a lie, but you didn't know that. His breath hitched when you stretched your arms back, letting out a quiet moan at the same time.

“You okay, Joong? Did you drink too much last night?”

“A-ah, yeah…uhm, in fact, I really need to go lie down right now.”

“Oh, but I was about to make breakfast for us…”

“There's no need to make a portion for me! I'll join you and Seonghwa later for lunch, maybe.”

You pursed your lips at his hurried response, but shrugged it off. Hongjoong hopped off the elevated kitchen island stool, shuffling back down the hall and into his temporary room.

Once inside, he groaned and bit his lip, nearly drawing blood from how hard his teeth dug into his lip. Memories of the night before flashed through Hongjoong's mind. Lying alone in bed, shamelessly listening to you and his best friend fuck relentlessly on the other side the wall. Turns out you'd forgotten how horny excessive alcohol would make you. And the walls were, evidently, very very thin.

Hongjoong whined pathetically at the raging boner in his shorts, which had formed when you were talking to him in the kitchen. How was he supposed to face you after overhearing you at your most vulnerable state? How could he, after hearing your whimpers and cries of “Seonghwa, harder~”, his best friend's name that slipped out of your mouth like a prayer? How could he, after he had snuck a hand down his shorts, stroking himself to the rhythm of your melodious moans? He swore under his breath, making a promise to himself to just avoid talking to you alone until the gang clash was over, and he could finally leave.

That, however, proved very hard to do, especially with an intuitive man like Park Seonghwa in the premises. Being the observant person he is, he quickly picked up on Hongjoong's closed-off body language and evasive responses to your small talk. He immediately figured out exactly what was bothering Hongjoong, too. After all, on that night, Seonghwa was drunk but still aware enough to know that the younger man had probably overheard him fucking his needy girlfriend into the mattress. The only difference was that while it bothered Hongjoong and made him all flustered and embarrassed, it had actually been a major turn-on for Seonghwa himself. There had been plenty of instances when he had made out with or had sex with you in his office, the premise of possibly getting caught by his business partner always spurring him on. Sadly, Hongjoong had never actually walked in on it happening. However, staying in the same house as the two of you made it bound to happen. And it did nothing but excite Seonghwa. He would surely exploit this.

☆☆☆

Nearly 2 weeks into his and Seonghwa's stay at your dorm, Hongjoong laid across the bed, mindlessly reloading his messages. He groaned. Never would he have known that he'd ever actually miss the usual stream of texts from clients ordering from MATZ’s supply. It was quiet. Too quiet. He hopped up from the bed, opting to go watch a movie in the living room to pass some time. You and Seonghwa had gone out for a late-night convenience store run, and had taken Hongjoong's request for a dessert.

Plopping down on the couch, Hongjoong winced at the memory of sleepless nights on the cramped cushions. Sure, now he was sleeping in an actual bed, but with the things he's overheard next to his temporary room, was it really any better than the lumpy couch? His mind began wandering at this thought again. He bit his lip shamefully when he imagined your muffled moaning and whines from that night. He stared at the growing tent in his sweats, contemplating silently on whether he should do something about it.

Just as he was reaching for the boner between his legs, the familiar clatter and squeak of a key came from the door. Hongjoong quickly shoved a cushion over his lap and pointed the remote at the TV, playing a random movie to look occupied.

“Joong! Hwa and I are back!”

“And we got that rice pudding you asked for~”

You and Seonghwa walked into the living room, shrugging off jackets that were slightly wet from rainwater. Had it been raining? Hongjoong was too preoccupied with his thoughts to notice. He smiled gratefully at Seonghwa when he handed him a plastic bag, no doubt containing his beloved pudding. Hongjoong's eyes momentarily flickered up to the “MATZ” tattoo scrawled across his best friend's neck.

Drops of sweat and rainwater trickled down the blurred black lines and Seonghwa's dewy skin. Seonghwa was panting slightly, a red tinge on his pale face, possibly from running in the rain earlier on. Hongjoong's mind wandered again. Does Seonghwa pant like that and look like that when he fucks you? Would you kiss against his sweaty neck when he has you bent in half?

“Joong? I asked you if you need a spoon…”

Hongjoong snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Seonghwa speaking. He nodded quickly and mumbled a “yeah”, still avoiding eye contact with both Seonghwa and you. What the fuck? Why was he daydreaming about the both of you now? Maybe the lack of activity and work was really driving him mad. He didn't notice you standing at the nearby kitchen island, exchanging mischievous glances with Seonghwa who was leaning against the couch backing.

“Hey Hongjoong, have you been doing alright?”

“H..huh? What? Why are you asking?”

“You've been so closed off lately. Both Hwa and I have noticed it.”

Your voice was laced with sympathy, hiding your intentions. Hongjoong sighed tiredly and scratched at his neck. You made eye contact with your boyfriend, fighting the urge to smile at his knowing glance.

“Uh, yeah, I'm good… probably just getting used to the new sleeping arrangements.”

“No way, you miss sleeping on that crappy, old couch? I didn't take you for a masochist, Joong.”

Walking over to sit next to the younger man, Seonghwa prodded teasingly at him. You slid over and joined the duo on the couch, sitting on Hongjoong's other side. Hongjoong was still oblivious to yours and his best friend's movements, his fists clutched tightly on the cushion covering his rock-hard dick.

“I'm good… Just a little stressed about not being able to work, probably.”

“Ahhh, I see~ You must be really tense.”

“Mhm, look at him, Hwa! His shoulders are so stiff and tight.”

Without warning, you reached out and put your hands on Hongjoong's shoulders, giving an experimental squeeze. What neither you nor Seonghwa expected, however, was for a deep, drawn-out moan to escape from Hongjoong's lips.

Hongjoong's eyes widened and filled with panic at the realisation of what he did. Waving his hands frantically at yours and Seonghwa's blank stares, he jumped up from the couch and started talking at what seemed like a hundred syllables-per-second.

“Oh fuck oh shit I'm so sorry- I don't know why I made that noise, I've just been so tense and like stressed and shit- honestly speaking my shoulders are really sensitive, too, so like-”

The couch cushion slipped off his lap in his frenzy. Unbeknownst to him, this made you and Seonghwa notice the raging boner in his sweats. Hongjoong didn't even clock the knowing glance you and your boyfriend shared, instead continuing to ramble a stream of apologies.

“Hongjoong.”

“--I know, I know, it was extremely inappropriate for me to fucking moan in front of your girlfriend, Hwa!! Please forget what you just–”

“Kim Hongjoong!! I know you heard us fucking the other night!”

Both yours and Hongjoong's eyes grew as wide as saucers.

“Baby, what… what d'you mean?”

Your lips trembled, a deep blush appearing on your face as you hesitated to speak up. Your boyfriend had told you that Hongjoong had been sexually frustrated recently, but he'd conveniently left out the part about him overhearing the two of you having sex. Wait, was that why Hongjoong was horny in the first place?

Seonghwa offered you a soft, reassuring glance in response, the subtle clench of your thighs not going unnoticed by his sharp eyes. He quickly turned his gaze back to the man standing dumbfounded in front of the two of you.

He had never seen his best friend look so taken aback, flustered and embarrassed, all at the same time. Hongjoong's face was paused on an expression that screamed “oh-fuck-oh-fuck-oh-shit”. Seonghwa maintained a stern look, with you shifting uncomfortably behind him. The room suddenly felt very, very warm.

“Seonghwa, look, I….”

Hongjoong finally opened his mouth to speak, but he was cut off almost immediately.

“Do you wanna have sex with us?”

Your mouth dropped open in a silent scream. Hongjoong stared, bewildered, at Seonghwa, wondering if all the weed he did was finally catching up to him.

“I– excuse me?”

“Yeah, Hwa, what the fuck..?”

Seonghwa scoffed at both of you. He arched his neck onto the back of the couch, the tattoo on his neck seemingly dancing seductively against his skin as he did so. He slid a veiny hand down to your exposed thigh, cold rings against your skin earning a shuddering sigh from you. He smirked when he saw Hongjoong's boner twitch in his sweatpants.

“Don't act like you guys haven't thought about it! Hongjoong, I've seen how your eyes linger on my sweetheart's pretty tits when she wears her tank tops around the house. I'm not blind, I always catch you checking out my ass and my neck, too. You want both of us, don't you? And Y/N, right now, I can see you squeezing your thighs.”

Hongjoong watched with bated breath as Seonghwa's finger slid into the opening of your shorts. You jumped a little when his thick fingertip made contact with your soaking-wet panties.

“Fuck, babygirl, you got turned on from knowing that my best friend heard me fucking you into the sheets? You're so wet for us, so dirty, hm?”

You whined at his words, body instinctively leaning closer to him, before dazedly nodding in acknowledgement. Seonghwa smiled at this. He really knew your body and your kinks like the back of his goddamn hand. He then whipped his head at Hongjoong, who was slowly inching away, evidently debating between staying to see what was going to happen, or changing his name and fleeing the country.

“So? What d'you say to a threesome?”

“I…”

Hongjoong's eyes darted uncertainly to you. You were leaning against Seonghwa, eyes glazed over and looking very needy. Seonghwa cooed at you, at the same time reassuring the hesitant man.

“Don't worry. The two of us have talked about having sex together with another person. She's honestly as into it as I am, and who else would be a better candidate than my hot best friend?”

Hongjoong bit his lip in deep thought. Despite his years of friendship with Seonghwa, he did often think of the two of you at the same time, especially on those lonely nights in his bed. Even before he overhead you fucking. After all, you were a very hot couple. He attempted to reason with himself, taking a brief moment to weigh the pros and cons. But his dick was so hard it felt like it was gonna burst. And this could be the opportunity of a lifetime. Heck, it was practically being served to him on a silver-fucking-platter.

“Fuck, man, let's do it.”

♡♡♡

Seonghwa’s tough hands had gently spread your legs apart for Hongjoong. The other waited with bated breath when he finally got a good look at your damp panties. “Fuck” he hissed under his breath, and Seonghwa's lip quirked up into a smirk. Peering back up to look into your dazed eyes, Seonghwa parted one of his hands from your thighs to gently skim his fingers over your slit, causing your thighs to jolt. “Seonghwa~” you whined gently, turning your head into the pillow. “You're so wet babygirl” he murmured, glancing to Hongjoong who had been sitting there, his hands balled into his lap to keep them to himself.

“Go on joong, touch her,” he retreated his hand after skimming your clit through the fabric, another low moan falling from your lips. “And you, baby, don't move an inch” Seonghwa's voice spoke up once more, in a sterner tone this time. Hongjoong didn't have to be told twice, with a single look to confirm, he shifted to laying between your wide hips, guiding your legs over his shoulders.

You were soaked. Evidence lingered on the expansion of your panties, a dark patch of wetness that Hongjoong wanted nothing more than to indulge himself in. Taste and get lost in. His fingers parted your folds through the fabric, thumbing your clit gently as he ran his fingers around your slick. You breathily whimpered, already tired of the teasing - but willing to take it slow for Hongjoong.

“You look so fucking pretty,” Seonghwa groaned by your ear, lying next to you to hold your hips down. He knew you tended to get a little overzealous with your movements. You whimpered at the praise, guiding your hand through your boyfriend's hair to tug him on your mouth, a mess of tongue and teeth, the slight chill of his grillz, even when he pulled away to begin kissing along your neck. Generously pulling your shirt over your chest so he could shove his hands into the warmth of your breasts, kneading the flushed flesh.

“Not even a bra, fuck, wanted to play with these pretty tits as soon as I saw you in this tight ass shirt,” he hummed into your neck. Before you could reply, Hongjoong placed an open kiss on your clit through your panties, making you jolt.

Hongjoong’s tongue swept out to lick up the length of your cunt, humming at the taste of you, his nose ever so gently bumping against your clit every time he swipes through your folds, wetting you with his saliva and collecting all of the slick you've produced so far. A trail of heat building in your core from the foreplay, the rough pads of Seonghwa's expert fingers pinching and twirling your nipples has you clenching around nothing. With a whine, your head falls to the bed. “Hwa- joong- please,” you called out, needing to feel something in your pussy or else you'd go insane.

Or worse, beg for it. Hongjoong’s lashes parted to glance at Seonghwa. Lust, dark and heavy swirled in his eyes as soon as they clashed. Joong couldn't help but grind his hips forward into the bed, his cock catching at the front of his sweats, he swirls his thumb over your clit once again to apply more pressure. Watching Seonghwa squeeze once on your tits, exhorting another distorted sound from your lungs. “Are you gonna let Hongjoong play with that pretty pussy of yours, darling? Put his mouth and fingers all over you?” He murmurs, breath fanning over your ear.

You nodded your head eagerly, whimpering under your breath and shifting your thighs at the thought. The anticipation building up within you. Seonghwa's hand left your breast to grab your chin, pinching it enough so that your eyes popped open to see what he was doing.

Confidence was in every corner of Seonghwa's eyes, a dominance that would eat you alive. “Say it, sweetheart.” He purred, dropping his hand to crane your neck to look at Hongjoong, still rubbing circles into your sensitive bud.

His eyes - equally blown and lustful as Seonghwa's - were trained directly on you, your breath caught. “Hongjoong.. joong will you please touch my pretty pussy? Please.” You spoke with clearness, an eagerness only a person as demanding as Seonghwa would get out of you.

Hongjoong didn't need to be told twice.

He immediately dived in, tugging aside the crotch of your panties before attaching his mouth to your pussy. A loud moan tore from your throat when he began lapping at your already soaking folds. Surely your neighbours would've heard that, and would be complaining to you the next morning, but you could care less. He slurped relentlessly at your wetness, humming happily into your cunt, all while you squirmed and let out little “ah-ah”s for the two men. Music to their ears.

You cried out when Hongjoong's finger prodded the rim of your pussy, helplessly clawing at his hand to stuff his fingers in as far as possible. He scoffed under his breath, taken aback by your urgency.

“She's needy, isn't she, Joong?”

“Y-yeah, fuck…”

Seonghwa smirked at his best friend's reply, opting to tease him further when a mischievous remark came to mind.

“Bet you think about her crying for your cock, huh?”

Hongjoong blushed furiously at Seonghwa's cheeky accusation.

“S-shut up, man!”

He rolled his eyes at Seonghwa before stuffing his index and middle fingers into you. This pulled out a needy moan from you, twisting your fists into the sheets at the sensation of Hongjoong's fingers caressing your pussy walls. He couldn't help but groan at how your body just yearned for more and more of his touch. You clenched around on his fingers, cumming faster than expected. Hongjoong couldn't help but stare at you; breasts rising and falling from your orgasm, a thin layer of sweat that had formed on your dewy skin. He knew he just had to give you more.

Hongjoong looked nervously at Seonghwa, who was still laying leisurely across the bed and caressing your skin.

“Seonghwa… May I….”

“Hm?”

Hongjoong tried to speak up to the older man, but his words trailed off once more. Seonghwa knew what he was going to ask. And he already knew he would allow whatever it was. But was he going to let Hongjoong do it without saying it out aloud? No way in hell.

The prolonged eye contact between the two men made Hongjoong understood what Seonghwa was asking for. Sucking in a deep breath, he finally spoke.

“May I… Can I fuck her?”

Seonghwa's lips curled into a satisfied smile and he nodded, pleased with himself for having gotten Hongjoong to speak up for once.

Hongjoong fumbled with his belt, slipping it off with a click and pulling down his pants and boxers at once. His cock was rock hard and already leaking pre-cum. Even in your dazed state, you still marvelled over how girthy it was. It was not as long as your boyfriend's, but it was plenty thick and would definitely stretch you out. You whimpered when Hongjoong rubbed his tip over your entrance. He groaned at how your slick essentially served as a natural lube for him. Seonghwa cooed at you when you grabbed his hand for support.

“Aww, you wanna be stretched out by my best friend's cock, my love?”

“M-mhm, p-please~”

“It's his dick, not mine, sweetheart. Tell Hongjoong what you want.”

You mewled at Seonghwa's stern tone and turned shyly to the man standing between your legs. Sliding a hand down in between your thighs, you used your digits to stretch open your sopping pussy.

“Please fuck me, Joongie~”

If it was even remotely possible, Hongjoong felt himself grow even harder at your voice. How could someone be so fucking perfect? Who was he to deny you of your desires.

“Since you asked so nicely~”

Hongjoong chuckled and sank his dick into your hole, the wind in his lungs almost being knocked out from how perfectly warm you felt. He grunted and knitted his eyebrows in frustration, hips twitching slightly in place. It was taking everything in him not to just start thrusting into you at an animalistic pace. You sighed breathily when his girthy member pushed into you, whining quietly while trying to get used to his size. The entire time, Seonghwa was peppering kisses on your hand and rubbing his thumb soothingly over your forehead.

“That's it, love, you're doing so good for him, hm? It's almost like you were made for cock, baby, you look so precious right now.”

Your boyfriend hummed sweet nothings into your ear as you took deep breaths, your body slowly accommodating to take Hongjoong's thickness. When you were sufficiently stretched out enough, you nodded at Hongjoong, who gladly obliged to start moving.

The room filled with your whiny moans, mixed with Hongjoong's breathy grunts. Seonghwa watched on with a lustful gaze at the scene taking place before him; his best friend and business partner, rocking in and out of his sweet, beloved girlfriend's dripping pussy. He couldn't have been more turned on. He bit his lip at the sight of your cunt stretching out everytime Hongjoong pushed his dick into it, again and again. Your slick leaked out around his girthy member, giving it a sheen under the dim bedroom lights.

Seonghwa's eyes perked up when he noticed Hongjoong was starting to move faster. His thrusts grew more erratic and uneven, eliciting cries of “J-joongie wait!!” from you. Hongjoong was in the zone, his head thrown back and whines growing louder as his hips did anything but stop. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that he was about to cum.

This didn't sit right with Seonghwa. He could tell you hadn't cum yet, so why was Hongjoong rushing for his own orgasm already? Clearly he needed to be taught a lesson.

Seonghwa quickly got up and got behind Hongjoong, pulling him out of you and tossing him effortlessly onto the bed. You whimpered at the sudden loss of warmth, and Hongjoong let out a yelp of dissatisfaction. But before he could complain, Seonghwa held him down by his thighs and started furiously jerking off his leaky cock with his free hand.

Hongjoong's protests turned to desperate whines, his breathing growing increasingly turbulent, as his best friend twisted and pulled at his twitching cock. When he finally released, cumming all over his stomach and Seonghwa's hand. Seonghwa smiled, clearly pleased with himself. He jeered snarkily at Hongjoong.

“Looks like your stamina for fucking is the same as your stamina for your workload~”

Seonghwa then lifted his slender hand to his mouth, making it a point to slowly lick off Hongjoong's thick cum while making direct eye contact with him. The younger man watched with flickering eyelids, biting his lip so hard that it almost drew blood.

You watched the whole scene unfold with hooded eyes. Despite being upset over not being able to orgasm, you couldn't help but clench your thighs at the fucked-out look on Hongjoong's face.

After getting off Hongjoong, Seonghwa slid over to you, helping you to sit up and kissing you tenderly on your neck. Catching a look at your pouty expression, he murmured a quick apology and winked at you, before turning back to Hongjoong.

He'd finally recovered from his release, and was now looking irritably at Seonghwa.

“What the fuck was that for?”

“My sweetheart was nowhere near cumming, yet you were already chasing your own orgasm. Talk about selfish, Hongjoong.”

“Dude…”

Your boyfriend chuckled at the younger man's defeated body language.

“It's fine. We all make mistakes,” (cue Hongjoong looking offended as fuck) “Let me show you how to actually please an angel like her.”

Seonghwa laid you back onto the sheets, his eyes searching yours for any form of denial. Still such a gentleman even after he'd watched his best friend pound you like there was no tomorrow. You nodded eagerly, eager - heck, desperate - to give him any number of orgasms at this point. “My sweet girl,” he chuckled lightly into your ear, kissing down the valley of your breasts while slipping off his belt and pants.

You drooled at the sight of his cock lying against your thigh. No matter how many times you'd seen it, you could never get over how long and pretty it was. Flushed with beads of precum leaking from the tip, poised at an angle that hit your g-spot everytime without fail.

As Seonghwa lined himself up at your twitching hole, he turned to face Hongjoong, who was sitting on the other end of the bed and watching the two of you intently. His dick was already rock hard again. Seonghwa rubbed his hand up your thigh lovingly, actions clashing with the stern tone he would use to address the other man.

“Watch and learn, Hongjoong.”

He leisurely rolled his hips into yours, lengthy dick already rubbing against that sweet spot in you. You jolted at the sensation, hands immediately flying up to grip at his toned arms.

“Ah- ah, Seonghwa~!”

He grinned at how fast you were reacting for him, before setting a steady pace and leaving love bites all over your chest. He reached up to push your legs over his shoulders, strong grip leaving behind blurry red marks against your thighs. Your mind grew fuzzy within mere minutes. It was amazing how well your boyfriend knew your body. Your hands left his arms to curl into his hair, tugging lightly at his short, cute ponytail for support. His heavenly groans and your rhythmic moans mixed together like the symphony of an orchestra. Hongjoong could only watch and tug lightly at his dick, unsure of whose position he wanted to be in at that moment.

In between his heavy thrusts, Seonghwa made eye contact with you. He smiled radiantly, making your heart skip a beat. That loving, heartfelt look in his sparkly eyes and the expert movement of his hips pushed you over the edge. Your hips canted against his pelvis, orgasm crashing through you like a tidal wave.

“S-seonghwa, I-!”

You let out a high-pitched mewl, body shaking as you creamed around your lover's dick. A white ring quickly formed around the base of his still-hard cock. Seonghwa hummed satisfactorily as he swiped at your dripping release and stuck his coated finger into your mouth. You gladly obliged, sucking on his fingertip, tasting the orgasm you'd given to him. The hazy look in your eyes only steered him on even more.

Seonghwa leaned down, voice barely above a whisper.

“Think you can give me another one, love? Maybe stick Joongie’s cock in your mouth while you're at it? After all, he didn't get to finish in you~”

“Hwaa….but only you can cum in me..?”

Pride bubbled in Seonghwa's chest at your response.

“Mmm, that's right, baby. But we have to give him some sort of consolation prize, especially since he's been so patient.”

Hongjoong's whiny voice suddenly cut him off.

“Fuck, the two of you are so frustratingly hot, but weren't you supposed to help me?? My balls are about to fucking burst, and you having your little moment isn't really helping.”

Seonghwa clicked his tongue, sighing dramatically at the man's impatience. He quickly made eye contact with you, smiling when you nodded, a green light for the night to continue.

“You're so needy, Joong… get your ass over here.”

You'd never seen anyone get up so fast and run over. Seonghwa sat on the edge of the mattress, directing for you to sit on his thighs, your back flush against his chest. Excitement tingled in your core when he lifted you easily, sinking you onto his erect dick. You closed your eyes for a moment, getting used to his lengthy cock resting in you. When you came to, Hongjoong stood in front of you, his own heavy, leaky dick out on display. His expression was a mix of relief and desperation.

“You ready?”

“Yeah, man, fuck, let's just get to it-”

“Shut up! I was talking to Y/n.”

Before you could giggle at the two men's bickering, Hongjoong shoved his dick into your mouth. You could feel it pulsating against the opening of your throat. Taking a deep breath through your nose, you began bobbing your head up and down on him. Hongjoong moaned shakily, hands finding the base of your neck for support.

“She's good at sucking cock, isn't she?”

Your boyfriend sounded proud. Hongjoong could only groan in response, nodding eagerly at the same time. Seonghwa quietly enjoyed the scene for a short while before he started to thrust lightly into you, veiny hands squeezing the plush flesh of your ass. You gasped around Hongjoong's girthy member, your whimpers sending vibrations through him. He couldn't help but shudder at the sight before him; his best friend's cute girlfriend expertly deepthroating him, while said best friend sat below her and grinded into her plush ass. Your plump lips enveloped Hongjoong's cock again and again, allowing him to fully enjoy the view. Watching the furrow of Seonghwa's eyebrows and beads of sweat dripping down his forehead was the cherry on top. Who knew such perfect scenery existed?

It wasn't long before both men's movements began speeding up. You whined pathetically, trying to keep up. Granted, they were both sensitive from the previous rounds, but so were you.

You began bouncing your ass on Seonghwa, while simultaneously gulping on Hongjoong. The three of you let out increasingly loud sounds that echoed around the room; Hongjoong's grunting, Seonghwa's frantic pants, and your desperate sobs. They blended together with the sounds of skin slapping and slurping to form a melody, one so lewd yet so exquisite, merely listening to it would be as good as taking an aphrodisiac.

Soon enough, Hongjoong climaxed, hot cum so thick and copious that some leaked out the sides of your mouth. You hit your third orgasm of the night, body convulsing at the overstimulation. Seonghwa came last, his breath hitching as he jerked his hips one more time into your cunt. Your mouth slipped off Hongjoong's dick, and you let your head fall back onto your boyfriend's shoulder. You dazedly swallowed the remaining cum on your tongue, making sure to make eye contact with Hongjoong in the process. You didn't bother to get off Seonghwa's dick, opting to sit on it and bask in the warmth that was his milky release leaking out of your used cunt.

The 3 of you panted heavily for a few minutes, clearly still processing one of, if not the best orgasm any of you had ever shared with another person. In this case, your first orgasm that you'd shared with 2 other very attractive people. You eventually spoke up, getting the attention of both men.

“Did… Did I do good for both of you?”

Seonghwa and Hongjoong turned your way, with a wobble in your voice you asked - struggling with your throat from the amount of dick you've taken.

“Good? Fuck, baby, we're high on you.”

Hongjoong and Seonghwa unexpectedly spoke at the same time, making you giggle at how in sync they were. Seonghwa glanced up at Hongjoong, who was still coming down from his high.

“You finally relaxed, man?”

“Mm, yeah, Joongie, you were the whole reason we even did this…” you trailed off, pushing your hair out of your face gently.

“You bet I am,” Hongjoong sighed contentedly, before adding on, “Fuck, I don't even feel like going back to work anymore.. “

“Then I'd better not find any more weed in my couch! You have something else to think about, now.”

Hongjoong's eyebrows raised at your remark - disappearing into his sweaty bangs - surprised by your energy level.

“Aren't you exhausted?? You just took 2 dicks, you should be knocked out by now.'' Seonghwa chuckled at Hongjoong's remark, swiping his hand across your sweaty back.

“Oooo, he's got a point, sweetheart…I bet you could go for another round~”

You groaned and pulled off of Seonghwa, throwing yourself onto the other side of the bed. You pulled the sheets tight over your body, but not before shoving a pillow at the two men.

“Forget it!! You guys are mean. I think Joong rubbed off on you, Hwa!” You whined, clenching your thighs tightly- fluids still dripping from your core, despite the urge to roll over from the men - Seonghwa was already tilting towards you. Lightly palming your hip with a grin.

“Come on sweetheart, let's get you washed up."

Author's note:

Omgomg my first ever collab with another writer ahhh 🙌 the two of us worked very hard on this fic!! I hope you enjoyed it <33

Taglist !!: @luckyblue98 @dazzlingstarrs @spideyyoung @st4rhwa @stolasisyourparent @peppermintlattelover @bincxtesworld @mxnsxngie @wisejudgedragonhairdo @vixensss @ygswl @archaios @lunaclipse @beargyuuzz @nvdhrzn @puppyminnnie @crybabyzo3y @lolno-2323223 @staytiny816 @hwasfavgf @novocainecoon

[aimedis]

lovely & vincent headcanons 🧛⚡

in honour of me missing my wife vinny

for lovely's birthday one year, vincent bought them their dream car. he took them to the dealership and asked, "if you could have any of these cars, which one would it be?". he let them point at the car he knew they've always wanted, dropped the keys in their hand and said, "it's all yours." (lovely was in shock for days)

lovely always finds themselves falling asleep quite often around vincent. it's because they spend a lot of time in fight or flight mode subconsciously and he just makes them feel safe

literally saying "vincent, i'm tired" every time there's five seconds of silence

lovely and vincent are both horror movie/game wimps (grown ass vampires scared of pixelated ghosts)

vincent is always incredibly empathetic with other vampire's turnings (especially lovely's)

vincent was 100% ready to let lovely go if they didn't want to be turned. he would rather grieve them than have them talk to him the way he talked to william

lovely and vincent's song is rewrite the stars by james arthur & anne-marie

lovely and vincent are always always around each other. where one is, the other is not far away even if you can't see them both (aside from work and stuff ofc)

they are always looking for one another in a crowd when they're rarely apart for two seconds

always touching too, even if they're arguing or not speaking to each other they're always holding hands or touching some part of the other's body

they wear each other's crowns sometimes

vincent is always slapping lovely's ass. and whenever lovely gets caught off guard, they release electricity from their body (even post turning) so vincent is always getting shocked but he refuses to stop

vincent's favourite hobby is kissing all over lovely's face or being corny to them (especially in public) just to embarrass them (because they get embarrassed very easily)

lovely hates it but they can't help but laugh when they're done hitting him

lovely loves ignoring vincent as a joke. not responding when he's being clingy or talking to them, pushing his face away when he's trying to kiss them, and saying "what's that noise?"

vincent enjoys finding new ways to get their attention, both innocent and nefarious

whenever lovely has nightmares, vincent always wakes up before they do. he can just feel their distress like it's his own, not even just because of the maker/progeny bond they have

vincent puts lovely's shoes and jewellery on for them whenever they're going out for date night, outright refuses to let them do it for themselves because he loves doing it so much

in turn, lovely always does vincent's eyeliner for him on a daily basis (he says they do it better than he ever could) ((bonus if lovely can never do eyeliner on themselves))

lovely and vincent are so obsessed with each other, they literally get jealous so easily. not because they don't trust each other, they just hate the idea of anyone touching/talking to their partner the way that they do

when lovely gets really excited they either start hitting vincent a billion times or they jump into his arms and he has to spin them around to get the zoomies out while they both giggle loudly

they love playing minecraft and animal crossing together in bed

after the summit, lovely was reliving the trauma that came with watching another vampire get their head ripped off/adam's name being brought up and they had a panic attack in vincent's arms the second the two could get a moment alone

the entire time the queen of the house of baz was talking to vincent, lovely was just staring at the ground while squeezing vincent's hand as they tried to fight off the panic. but when vincent finally got away from people, he pulled them outside to the car to get some fresh air while they cried and shook in his arms

their way of dealing with traumatic events/stress is just holding each other for a long time after it's over

vincent definetly gives lovely princess treatment (gender neutral) ((opening doors for them, putting on their shoes, foot massages, kissing them all over etc.))

vincent carries lovely around the house more than he lets them walk unless they have people over (they’d never walk anywhere again if vincent had his way)

they rarely ever ever fight. during one of their first and fights, lovely started crying because they got overwhelmed and vincent immediately backed up and started apologizing (and that only made them cry harder because they've never really been apologized to before)

vincent felt really bad for making them cry and held them while they did because that was the only thing they wanted (they finished the argument later without any tears) 

now, they argue once in a blue moon whenever they can't probably regulate their feelings about the situation. but they usually make up within ten minutes

vincent tickles lovely's sides whenever they're stretching (lovely is crazy ticklish)

lovely before they got turned was really prone to nosebleeds

lovely calls vincent ‘lovebug’ 

lovely loves painting vincent's nails (even though the smell is overpowering for both of them, it’s something lovely enjoys doing so he likes it too) 

lovely kissed vincent in the car before some fancy clan gathering for a little too long and he got hard immediately so they had to wait in the car for it to go down before they could go inside. lovely was making fun of him the whole time

vincent used to heal pre-turning lovely’s every cut and bruise even before they themselves noticed they had it (he still heals them if they haven't fed recently and can't heal as fast)

vincent really really likes pining lovely to walls (they can barely walk down the hall without him zipping up to them and pressing their hips into the wall before kissing them hard) 

vincent and lovely are both korean (they also both did dance and figure skating)

vampire don’t get sick easily (it’s actually quite hard for them to get sick) but when they do it’s bad. vincent and lovely are both babies with being sick

vincent and lovely cry about everything together (happy? tears. sad? tears. angry? tears. excited? tears. bored? you guessed it, tears.)

lovely's favourite thing ever is how dazed vincent gets whenever he says they smell good (which is basically all the time) he's literally sniff kissing them all over and pulling them closer to him

vincent loves kissing lovely more than anything ever

blowing each other kisses whenever one of them leaves the room

vincent was away for two days on a work trip and everyone who saw them said they had never looked so sad

clingy mfers

both of their love languages are physical touch and gift giving (+ quality time)

they bicker a lot about the most random things

always texting each other random little updates with no context like "porter's pissing me off" "what the actual fuck does _____ mean?" "are you coming home yet? hurry up" "i'm tired" "i need to punch someone" and sometimes it doesn't even lead to an actual conversation

always on the phone if one of them is away, sometimes not even talking or looking at their phone but it's comforting to know that the person they love is with them in some way

vincent took lovely to italy for their birthday because they mentioned wanting to go there all the time

lovely rented a huge mansion in the mountains for vincent's birthday so they could just. relax. and get away from everyone

they're THAT rich couple

[ladinthehat]

I literally can't fall asleep because I remembered Wayhaven exists, and I am going to make this a problem not only for myself, but anyone else who sees this post as well. I don't even write posts but I really need to throw my thoughts out somewhere lmao

Warning: spoilers for every TWC book, what did you expect. Also talks about mommy/daddy issues and some mentions of harmful stereotypes about POC, both in media and real life. ALSO probably lots of mistakes and rambling, it's literally 3 am give me a break

Wayhaven is such a promising series of books that fell so flat with book 3, even though some could argue there were already issues popping up in book 2. I, personally, enjoyed it just as much as the first one, but that's up to anyone's opinion. Hold on, this deserves a whole list.

My personal and biggest gripe, MC's relationship with their mom. To write something so complex and then chuck it down to two choices (the choices being "forgive your mom" or "don't forgive your mom and everyone will make you feel like a piece of shit") feels so disappointing, especially if you consider what people with parental issues usually deal with irl. Of course there are people who choose to forgive their parent or not, but more often than not (and, as a result of that, what feels most realistic to write in a book) they end up somewhere in-between - it's a bittersweet relationship which you can either choose to continue or not, but the past memories and missed childhood can't just be forgotten and thrown under the rug. That's what MC's relationship with Rebecca could've been, too: a *complex* relationship that can either continue or get cut off completely, and it's a choice that should be respected, because a child that has been neglected has the full right to not trust their willingly neglectful parent again. And to some degree the author does try to achieve it, but in the end you will still have only two choices. And also, in Wayhaven you can literally feel what option author considers to be correct and not choosing that gets you punished severely, e.g. the carnival situation and every dialogue where you choose to not be cordial with Rebecca (the author never forgets to mention how you made everyone feel terrible. "Congrats you piece of shit, you ruined everything because you just can't accept that your mom wants to be buddy buddy again, ugh.") This pattern of turning complex situations into only having yes/no answers, with a negative choice having severe punishments, is such a recurring pattern throughout the whole book series that at this point it feels like a feature that I just didn't get (e.g you don't even get a choice if you want to join the agency or not, you just do, because that's the correct option). Also, I don't believe that literally no one, not even MC's best friends or partner, would try to see their side or god forbid agree with MC cutting contact with Rebecca.

You can literally feel that N and A are supposed to be the star children of TWC. While it was less obvious in book 1, it can't be ignored anymore in books 2 and 3. It does feel even more weird because M and F have the darkest complexions out of the cast, and are depicted as overtly sexual/flirty for absolutely no reason, to the point that sometimes it literally contradicts what the author established about the characters before (M can't handle most fabrics touching their skin and can't eat food because the taste of anything is too much for them, what do you mean they are hypersexual?? isn't sex one of the most stimulating things you can do that can literally be too much for a lot of people that don't even struggle with overstimulation on a daily basis??), but it doesn't feel appropriate to say too much on this issue as I'm literally as white as paper, not to mention that this topic has been brought up by many POC in the IF community who can have more nuance on this situation than I ever could. I can, however, talk about how inconsistent and over-exaggerated M and F's personalities are, compared to A and N feeling much more realistic and well-paced. I hate how M and F are mischaracterized in their own universe and all the meaningful things are overshadowed by "haha M likes sex and is lewd and aggressive" and "haha F is a silly lil' goober". Their romances suffer from it too, which brings me to-

The romance routes could be so much better. And I'm not talking about N or A obviously, even though that's another can of worms that I, frankly, don't want to open, but F and M. M is dumbed down to being aggressive, sexual and borderline feral at times, which are all GREAT traits to give all at the same time in your book to a person of color btw (they're not), but their scenes perform best when the author acknowledges that M is actually none of those things. Just them existing in the same space as MC and feeling at ease and relaxed (and, dare I say, vulnerable) feel much more intimate and rewarding than literal sex scenes, and I feel like that's what romance with M should've been about: two people, who are both lost and confused and overwhelmed in this new to them world (M from memory loss, MC from being thrown into the supernatural scene) bonding, finding comfort and familiarity in each other. Breaking all that buildup with innuendos and sexual propositions feels unnecessary, to be honest.

Continuation of the previous point, but the same could be said about F too. Poor F, the forgotten child of TWC; they're my absolute favorite, and it hurts to see them being thrown somewhere in the background as a comedic relief side character so many times. I feel like they could be the character who gets MC the most, even if they're not dating or particularly close. They have a difficult relationship with their mom, they're thrown into an unfamiliar world that's hard to navigate and it feels like everyone wants too much from them. You can't tell me that it's not some great exposition for a deeper connection between F and MC, both romantic and platonic, as well as an opportunity to explore anxiety and impostor syndrome/separation anxiety (not interchangeable, just feels like either one could fit F) in a seemingly optimistic character. But nah, they like Rebecca and are just a funny little fella. Definitely not playing into more media stereotypes of the only black character in the main cast being a flirty comedic relief.

At this point TWC is going to rival One Piece on the amount of meaningless fillers. And they wouldn't feel so meaningless if the author didn't try to mix slice-of-life and supernatural, or at least didn't mix them so poorly, but most of the time an occasional meaningless scene is thrown into the plot for some short-term tension for what feels to be absolutely no reason other than increasing the word count. Take the blood drive thing as an example of this: what was this scene for?? It started unnecessary tension, had a weird solution and just offered nothing to the rest of the book except for allowing Bobby to finally confront the RO of choice in a very awkward manner. I feel like the author promising 7 books (correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember something like that mentioned in the earliest tumblr posts) feels like a the author chewing off more than she can bite. And it sucks, because had she not had that amount of books (and subsequently a gargantuan word count) looming over her head, we could have had more actually meaningful and fulfilling scenes like ones in the bakery, literally my favorites. It could benefit the pacing, worldbuilding and reader enjoyment greatly.

I could write so much more but at this point I could just go on forever lol

[jimin-my-sunshine]

are twin flames like queerplatonic partners? or do you think twin flames can be qpp? does everyone have a twin flame? I'm asexual and aromantic and I've always dreamed of having a qpp but after reading a bit of your experience I think what I've always dreamed of (and wished for) is having a twin flame

Hi! You're the second 'ask' I have had asking me about twin flames and you're not actually trying to be rude in any way...

I'm happy to know my posts are reaching the people I want them to.

So, I want to thank you for reaching out, because it gives me the courage to continue- despite all of the hate I deal with on a daily basis.

I will explain here for you and hopefully it won't get too long, but they are a rather complex connection ~

To answer your question, yes- everyone has at least one twin flame.

Contrary to popular belief though that is thoroughly influenced by conditioning beliefs from others and their projections- you can have more than one.

I have crossed paths with people who have at least four, other's who have one and then there was one very advanced spiritual person I knew who has seven.

It goes to show how unique and totally personal this connection is to each and every person.

You don't always need to have romantic feelings towards your other halves, since this will be something that is very different for each person.

Your gender doesn't matter and neither does your sexuality, because twin flames encompass pure and true unconditional love for each other.

This is why everyone thinks Jimin and Jungkook are dating, because they are always on the fence, so to speak.

They do things that regular people wouldn't with each other and you can just tell that they're MORE, if that makes sense.

You can tell how natural it comes to them as well, and let's not forget their motto that they have been saying to each other for literally years now "You are me and I am you..."

Which brings me to the next thing I need to say here ~

Twin flames are different to soul mates, because your twin flame is literally a part of your DNA- regardless of what nationality or country you are born into.

You mirror each other, because they ARE essentially you, but in another body- which is also another good example with Jimin and Jungkook.

They choose similar clothes, their personalities are remarkably similar and they even have similar mannerisms- which is probably why they even began to say their motto to begin with.

When they come out with albums and what not, their concepts aren't identical, but they match up to a certain degree.

People think this is on purpose, but it's not. Jungkook may 'copy' Jimin as he said to a certain point- but there's no way that you can get it THAT right.

Watching this show of theirs, has shown me how even more similar I am to them and it's explained why I do certain things even lol- and they make me laugh- because learning about them, I am also learning more things about myself :)

I hope that this has answered your questions- but if you have anymore, please feel free to send me an 'ask' anytime.

Otherwise, I really hope that you enjoy the rest of your week ^__^

[thegreatimpersonator]

You know what I've been learning this summer bestie? To never tell anyone anything ever for the rest of my life. Not only do they not deserve it, the information that I do give gets twisted up into the most mind-blowing narratives behind my back because I guess these people are insane or something.

Example: I ask one relative one thing. By the next day, I have AT LEAST three other relatives gossiping about it (from my side and my in-law's side), just because. The question isn't even bad. But they go out of their way to inform the rest of the family about it for whatever godforsaken reason that they have. Now I've got four people that know about a conversation I had with one person.

Another example: I'm not going on vacation this summer. Told this to literally every relative, because they've been asking. Told them it's because I've been having health issues, and I don't wanna be stranded outside of the country looking for medical help, or just generally feeling like shit when I'm supposed to be on vacation.

They started calling each other up to ask each other why not (I don't know why they don't take it as it is, there's literally nothing between the lines of the explanation I gave) - I learned about it from third parties that they've all been doing this. Some of them think I've shared the "real" reasons with some of the relatives and that they and I are hiding it. Others think it's because I'm broke and have been asking yet another set of relatives if they should offer to pay me a vacation. Another group is trying to convince me to go on a vacation with them, directly, despite my explanations each time. All I get is, who cares, you should just come with us, you'll be fine. Except no, I'm not, because every day has been different and I don't know whether I'll feel okay or not tomorrow. I might even start feeling unwell by tonight who knows.

I don't even want to think about the other batshit things they've come up with behind my and my partners' backs. I don't wanna talk to them or see them ever again. I keep explaining myself and it's like I'm speaking Chinese and they don't understand a word I'm saying. Or they think I'm not telling the full story, or outright lying, when I don't even have A REP FOR SHIT LIKE THAT. I'm like, you've all told me I'm terrible at lying at laughed in my face when I said I wanna work in politics because it requires lying on a daily basis and I'm terrible at it. What's with the sudden change?! What the hell are they on?!

Anyway, fun lil vent for u as I just learned a brand new conversation behind my back ✌️😘

Oh my godddd the constant conjectures and gossip is so terrifying skdjdjjd extended family can be. A Lot to deal with sometimes oof

[famousjunkies]

Rob Halford - Wikipedia

He is currently married to his husband Thomas.[61]

Halford has previously spoken about the level of acceptance of his sexuality within the metal community, calling it accepting and inclusive.[62]

HealthEdit

In the Behind the Music documentary series, Halford said that hiding his sexuality during Judas Priest's career caused him a lot of depression and isolation which led to his alcohol and drug abuse.

During the making of the band's 1986 album Turbo, Halford struggled with increasing substance abuse and violent feuds with his romantic partner. The singer entered rehab in January 1986 following a painkiller overdose[63] and even managed to stay sober after his partner died by suicide. He says that he has been clean and sober since then.[64] He made an energetic recovery and his live performances during the subsequent Fuel for Life Tour were described as some of his strongest ever.

He was born and raised in a Christian household, and said that his upbringing "has become more important since I became clean and sober on 6 January 1986. That was 25 years ago and I think that's probably more important to me now, on a daily basis."[64]

When asked in 2016 what part sobriety has played in the band's longevity, he responded, "Without it? Oh, I'd be dead. Literally, I would be dead."[65]

Despite being clean and sober since 1986, he confessed that he did have the desire to "have a drink" and "have a smoke and do a line. I wish I could do all that, but I can't. I've done all that. I've done all that and it nearly killed me. I wish I could do that because when I'm with my friends and they're having a good time and there's this little devil on your shoulder, 'Just have a quick shot. Do a shot of Jack.'" He pointed out to those who are recovering from their abuse about dealing with the "little devil on your shoulder or the monkey on your back", and that being clean and sober was "the greatest gift I was given. It was a gift. I can't do this by myself. There's another source helping. That's just a thrill to share with the music at this point."[66]

Halford underwent back surgery in 2013[67] and umbilical hernia surgery in 2014.[68][69][70]

Halford battled prostate cancer during the COVID-19 lockdowns after experiencing symptoms in 2017. He underwent prostatectomy in July 2020. After more cancer was found, he went through radiation treatments in April and May that year and was cleared in June before traveling to England to visit family. He also had a appendectomy after a tumor was discovered in his appendix.

[hamildoodles]

some more lams au doodles for my wife because sassy nerd alex is best alex

[softscummymammon]

€Male Hashira React to Their MALE S/O Coming Out As Asexual€

••Part 1 ||→ Giyu, Rengoku, Obanai

••Part 2||→Sanemi, Gyomei, Tengen

→+*:;;:*Demon Slayer Headcanon*:;;:*+←

I have decided not to do Muichiro because of the context that he is 14 years old. Due to this, I will not be adding him to the fic. Though this is about asexuality, and therefore the lack of sex, it is still considered wrong to me.

←Sanemi Shinazugawa→

Really, you were kinda shitting your pants at the idea of coming out to Sanemi. You know he's only abrasive and stubborn because of his past, but sometimes reading him is like asking Gyomei what color shirt you should wear.

Aka, pretty much impossible.

But you both were in a committed relationship, and you didn't want to feel like you were leading him on. There is also the possibility of him feeling like you had higher expectations. Knowing how that feels, you never wanted your boyfriend to feel like that.

So, deciding to get this over with and be blunt, which really is the only way you can approach this like this with Sanemi, you sat him down after his afternoon training. When he heard your voice and how serious you were, he made no move to object beside the occasional grumble.

His normally scowly face turned inquisitive as you sat at the chabudai. He sat across from you and asked what you needed him for. Steeling yourself, you tell him you're asexual, and have no or little desire to have any sexual activity. Making sure Sanemi didn't blame himself was key. Otherwise, he'd blame himself.

His face blanks for a second, then he asks if he made you uncomfortable in anyway. You tell him no, that you trust him to control himself, but some touches just can't happen. Sanemi starts to get a little irritated and asks then what is comfortable to you then? You try to calmly explain that cuddles are fine, soft touches on the shoulders, arms and head are fine, kisses too, as long as it doesn't get too heated.

Sanemi takes a few breaths, but explains to you that he has needs too; sexual needs he wanted to carry out with you since you're special to him. You can't help the tears that start to fall, but Sanemi is quick to sit by your side and wipe them away. He's cursing himself out and telling you he's sorry while you're trying to say you understand and feel sorry you're limiting the his show of love.

It gets so hectic, Sanemi leans forward and head butts you. Nothing like that brat did to him, but it was enough to catch your attention. He firmly apologizes for any misstep he took, and shushes you when you trying interrupting him. He carries on saying his love for you can be expressed in more ways than sex ever could, so he'll just have to get creative. Sanemi loves you dearly, and he doesn't want his lack of self control to be the end what the beautiful thing you both had.

So, he does. Whenever he gets that urge he'll leave and deal with it, then come back and pamper you till you both fall asleep or take a nap. He's still weary about how he touches you, but confident hands on your part will ease his hesitancy. Sanemi also becomes super over protective. He'd glare and growl at anyone that gets too close.

He can't grope you like he would have done originally. So, to combat those people that can't seem to think through their brains, he uses his wind breathing style to quite literally blow them away.

←Himejima Gyomei→

Trust and commitment was always an issue of Gyomei. But once he opens himself up, he is unwavering in his care. He loves you dearly, and he takes this relationship seriously. So why have you been avoiding him?

Gyomei sighed heavily and settled down near the water stream. Thinking over the day within his memories, he recounted how you seemed to have been anxious. Himejima may not be able to see, but he can hear your emotions clear as day, your anxious heart and breathing.

The water rushing through the stream eased him slightly, but the memory of your fear put him on edge. He never liked when you felt anything negative. Himejima always wanted to hear that smile on your face and laugh in your speech.

Standing up, Gyomei listened for your heart beat and followed it towards your shared home. Ever since this relationship became serious, you both decided living in Gyomei's home was the best idea since it had more medical supplies and felt more lived in. So it was an easy walk he figured out leads to the training area in the back of the house.

Opening a sliding door that leads to the Zen garden you helped him plant, he found you setting next to the water fountain you both had chosen as an added on feature. Sitting down next to you, he heard you sigh and felt you lean into his side. Gyomei wrapped a careful hand around your waist and let you get whatever was bothering you out your self.

Mustering up your confidence, you suddenly blurt out that you believe you are asexual. He pauses and let's the thought wash over him, trying to remember where he had heard that term before. Now that he recalled, one of the many older children he had helped before becoming a demon slayer had confided with him about the exact same thing.

With a careful voice, he addressed your rising nervousness, " Sex was never my end goal with you, my Rock. My only goal that I ever had was to make you happy. If you believe that sex would only ever make you uncomfortable, or that being sexually active on a regular basis is unnecessary, then I will do whatever it takes to love you thoroughly another way. "

He embraced you that night, feeling the coolness of the sun slowly setting behind the hills. Gyomei held you close to his chest as he rocked you back and forth, setting a firm, callused, yet somehow soft hand on the back of your neck to keep you still and comfort you.

Himejima no longer tolerated you being around people that he could tell made you uncomfortable. He knew all too well how dangerous and capable you could be when you wanted to, but he also wanted to get that feeling of accomplishment when he successfully guarded you away from those he knew where only trying to get with you for something other than your opinion. Besides, it was rather easy to just walk up behind them and set a hand on their shoulder to scare them off.

← Tengen Uzui→

To say that you were nervous with your most recent, yet blatantly obvious, discovery was an understatement. Being with Uzui was a whole other thing in on its own, and you had to overcome hurdles like any couple to be together. For one, it was rather odd to you that he already had three wives, beautiful women that could give him anything he wanted, yet he still chose to date you.

It unnerved you, a little. Though it was common in your home country that having multiple married partners was common, you always felt like you were encroaching on their daily lives.

But, they always made a show of accepting you. Even going as far as to invite you to their gatherings and trips to the city for shopping and sight seeing. You had an amazing time with them, but you can never get away from their....steamy stories. They always got blushy when recalling their first times with Tengen. It never ceased to make you uncomfortable, and they would always tease you about having to excuse your self when the topic of their sex lives came up.

Now that you thought back on it, it was glaringly obvious how you came up with your discovery in sexuality. Though it was already said, you were nervous. Nervous about what Uzui would think, about how his wives would think, and your standing in the relationship would turn. If you even had a relationship after this to begin with.

But, this needed to come out, and you don't think you'd be able to continue to live in a relationship where you couldn't be yourself. So, you had called them all in. It was a lot more intimidating than you would have imagined it to be. All four of them sat around the table with you, each had a different expression on their face.

Tengen set a firm hand on your thigh, trying to give you a supporting hold, but it only made your nerves stand on end. Taking a deep breath, you took his hand into your own and lifted it to sit firmly on the table. Tengen blinked in surprise, as did Suma, Hinatsuru, and Makio.

Deciding to not beat around the bush this time, you tell your recent discovery about being asexual. The silence given afterwards was very...tense. They looked in between each other for quite sometime, likely having a silent convention you weren't privy to even try and understand. It started to get suffocating, and it felt like you couldn't breathe.

You quickly made your way out of their. Standing up quickly and getting out of the room despite your name being called out by four other voices. Getting to your room within Uzui's home, you close the door and lock the door. Going to your futon, you breathe deeply in and out while tears stream down your face.

Footsteps made you freeze. And a soft whisper of your name made you look up towards your door. Hearing a slight thump, you can only imagine as Tengen sits against the locked door and calls out your name again. Sighing, you get up and sit on the other side of the door, giving him a chance to hear you.

Uzui makes sure you're okay before telling you that he was sorry. He explained that he didn't mean for allowing your anxieties to eat away at you like they did, and expressed his wish to be able to help you with them like a good partner should. He tells you that he loves you no matter what, and Makio, Suma, and Hinatsuru agree. He didn't mean to make you uncomfortable with his touch either, and his wives apologize for not seeing how uncomfortable you were listening to them talk about their past experiences.

Listening to them, you could hear that they were genuine. So, you stood up and unlocked the door, immediately getting engulfed in a hug by the man himself. Sighing, you felt so much better for being accepted. Leaning into his embrace, you were swept off your feet with a yell and layed down on your futon where he and his partners cuddled up around you.

<————««➹𓆉➷»»————>

[actuallyasexual]

People fear being alone because prolonged isolation has a negative impact on one’s mental and physical wellbeing, especially given the immense value our society places on relationships to do pretty much anything. Isolation and loneliness are scary, uncomfortable things that many people don’t want to talk about. Yet, they are things that people who are more prone to isolation need people to talk about more in order to have a good quality of life. As someone who is aromantic asexual as well as mentally and chronically ill, I am very prone to being isolated. I am also an only child with aging parents, and no other immediate family members living in close proximity to me.

When people find out I am not interested in ‘relationships’ and marriage, the most common reaction is “I feel sorry for you.” It’s literally pity because people would rather mourn my future than think about changing the outcomes people like me face. Social isolation can be a death sentence for people who cannot take care of themselves, and most people actually cannot take care of themselves long term. They depend on family as they age and especially if they get sick or injured. They know, subconsciously, that if they don’t find or make a family of their own, they could face pain and suffering on their own and I already struggle with this as a chronically ill person.

We shouldn’t have to live like this. We should be focusing on how the community at large could take care of all of its people. We should care about housing and feeding everyone. We should care about meeting the needs of chronically ill and disabled people who do and do not have immediate family to care for them. We should not base our worth entire around marriage and reproductive success. We should not allow people to suffer in isolation just because they cannot conform to the expectation of making or finding their own family. People deserve to live and thrive regardless of their capacity to form relationships that serve as security nets.

I get that being single makes some people very uncomfortable because our society creates barriers to success for people who can’t pool their resources with another person (e.g. for housing, healthcare) and sometimes they intentionally make it difficult for people to pool resources because eugenics (e.g. there is no marriage equality yet for disabled people and people struggle to get by on disability alone). However, everyone deserves lifelong adequate support regardless of their relationship or partnered status, regardless if they have living biological family members to take care of them, and regardless if they’ve ‘found’ a family of their own.

This is what I mean when I say you cannot advocate support for ‘single’ life, which many of you consider to be a temporary state, without supporting aromantic and asexual people. While some of us can and do enter into relationships for various reasons, so many of us cannot and will not. This connects to our orientation and lived experiences with that orientation in a society that does not value our existence. As a result, social isolation is a common problem we discuss and deal with on a daily basis that shapes our politics and activism. You cannot advocate for people who experience transient isolation without supporting people who experience prolonged isolation.

I said what I said.

[shinsouskitten]

Okay so hc’s of Hawks, Dabi, Bakugo, and Shinsou with an outta pocket s/o plz! She just oozes crackhead energy and says the most funniest most wildest shit. (Hawks:*teasing her* S/O: Ah, so you think cuz your balls drag across the floor, you got jokes huh? ☺️) Sis could come up with the most immaculate of roasts (S/O: Mineta, you waste of sperm! I will rip your spine outta your ass and make it into fine China before sending it to your parents 😡) and do the dumbest things just cuz she wants to (Monoma’s on his bullshit and S/O just suplexes him without saying a single word). Imagine their faces when she breaks the fourth wall a couple of times, says some freaky shit with a straight face, or she’ll just go “Nope” and jump out of a window with no hesitation (she don’t care how high the drop is, she heading out). Need them to be with someone who just has “I woke up and chose violence” energy.

I POSTED IT TO THE WRONG ASK 😭😭😭 i still have the other request saved on the actual document so at least i didnt completely fuck it up

still, im gonna go cry in a corner so brb

---

i had a stroke reading this 😅

but like i read this out to my buddy @grapefantaenby and we both were like BRO I LOVE THAT, even if my writing of it is subpar at best lol

also that m*neta insult is actual perfection. might send it to my ex

Warnings: chaos, some swear words, m*neta exists 🤮

---

Hawks/Keigo Takami: 

🍗 Keigo loves it

🍗 He especially loved when the two are you are partnered up, simply because of how terrified the villains are when they see you. You’re not even that scary, they just have no idea what you’re going to do

🍗 You could either decide your weapon of choice that day is a chair, or take a bag of popcorn from a nearby store and just sit there eating it while Hawks does his job (heroes don’t steal so Keigo always makes sure to go back to the store and pay for you if you forget)

🍗 He’s used to you jumping out of random windows. He was absolutely terrified the first time, and jumped straight after you to catch you, but now he just sends a bunch of his feathers to make sure you make it to the ground safely 

🍗 You don’t bend over and accept everything the commission asks you to do, and it’s quite common for them to demand that Hawks keep an eye on you to ensure you don’t get into too much trouble. It’s also quite common for you to just walk out mid meeting with a middle finger to the rest of the conference room and a scream that you want food

🍗 The fourth wall breaks. Oh God the fourth wall breaks. Hawks literally just stand there like ‘what the fuck’ when you turn to an empty piece of sidewalk and mutter something about villains being too hot for their own good (legit thinks for a moment you mean temperature-wise, but is still confused anyway)

---

Dabi/Touya Todoroki:

💙🔥 Oh boy. If there’s one thing that gets on Dabi’s nerves it’s chaotic individuals. He deals with Toga and Twice on a daily basis, so you’d think he’d know how to tone out the craziness. Alas, he does not

💙🔥 Sometimes he wants to throw you against the wall and just tell you to shut up for a goddamn second, and other times he wants to praise you for showing some low level villain that the league was not to be messed with. Maybe you did it with an insult about his mother, but it still worked, and the villain left you with an apology quickly enough

💙🔥 Not that Dabi would ever actually tell anyone that he thought they did a good job, so he usually just ignores you, attempting to stay out of your way (he also doesn’t really want you to insult his mother)

💙🔥 Eventually he becomes more accustomed to your… uniqueness, and occasionally you actually manage to get a half smile from him with one of your numerous insults aimed towards Shigaraki. They can get pretty creative

💙🔥 If Dabi is ever at odds with the rest of the league for some reason (there’s not really a reason, he’s just being Dabi), they - usually mom Kurogiri - sends you in an attempt to cheer him up. If you don’t manage to cheer him up, you still manage to annoy him enough to force him back to the rest of them. Either way it works out

---

Katsuki Bakugou:

💥 ‘Wow you’re annoying’ is the first thing Bakugou thinks when he meets you (he should meet himself) so he plans to just ignore you. After all, he’s not there to make friends. He’s there to be the best hero

💥 Annoyingly, even with your naturally chaotic energy, you still manage to stay right on his toes. That’s what finally gets him to notice you (notice me senpai), and to his frustration, you’re barely even trying to beat him, and yet you manage to remain hot on his heels

💥 He’s surprised you’re not suspended from all the shit you pull, but you always manage to get yourself out of trouble one way or another. Even if that way is jumping out of a second story window and claiming they can’t kick you out when you’re injured (how that actually works he has no idea)

💥 He’s wanted to throw a chair at that stupid copycat Monoma since he first met him, so when you actually throw a chair at the guy, Bakugou laughs. Like really laughs. Kirishima thought he might’ve been possessed for a moment, but Monoma’s expression when he finally got back up was priceless

💥 It takes a while but he slowly manages to respect your skill as a hero - as much as King Explosion Murder can respect anyone. And even though your personality is… unusual, you’re not Deku, so he can deal with you

💥 Besides, anyone who can and will suplex Monoma without any warning is a worthy friend for him

---

Hitoshi Shinsou:

💜 The first time he met you, you were screaming like a banshee running through the halls of school, chasing after a small purple speck some way off in the distance. He didn’t get involved

💜 He saw you next being held apart from Bakugou with help from Aizawa’s scarf. You were screaming again, but this time at least you sounded human. He heard something about an ‘angry pomeranian’ before he decided to leave you to it

💜 You’re part of 1A, so Shinsou doesn’t pay you much mind other than the infuriating need to prove himself to everyone that ever doubted him. He’s surprised when you don’t act like the others in your class, and first gets to talk to you after you barrel into him in the hallways mid lesson (you were both skipping so he didn’t call you out on it)

💜 He asked if you were okay, and your exasperated response of ‘Bakugou’ explained enough for him. You sat together for a while. Okay, you refused to get up from the floor. He got tired of standing and decided to join you

💜 You get your first smile from him after you’re almost caught by a teacher looking for you, when you grab his hand and make a mad dash to a darkened classroom currently unused by anyone else

💜 Your first laugh comes when you flip off Denki after he tried one of his many pickup lines on you. The blond’s reaction was great, and Shinsou couldn't help but chuckle at how you managed to twist Denki’s pickup line into some distorted insult to his… nether regions

💜 Your chaos is a nice contrast to how nonchalant Shinsou usually is. You bring some much needed joy to the purple haired insomniac, and he helps to calm you down when your usual energy might be unneeded in certain situations. You know what they say; opposites attract

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

YEEHAW IT’S MIDNIGHT WHICH MEANS IT’S AUGUST 1ST WHICH MEANS INK DEMONTH SO I CAN FINALLY POST THIS NOW:

1. Pride

Diversity win! There is not a single cishet in the hivemind of ink creatures (To their knowledge) that you slaughter on a daily basis to make yourself beautiful! AKA: Possum has a fuck ton of LBGT+ headcanons regarding the BATIM cast and is happy to use this DeMonth prompt to indulge them. (Set before the loop starts, but after Buddy Boris meets/befriends the lost ones.)

Malice flicked through the channels of her cameras, trying to find more prey in her territory, and stopped when she saw a gathering of the lost and the searching (and exactly one Boris, the most perfect one she had ever seen.) in the Heavenly toy’s lobby, their prophet was brazenly sitting on the side of the waterfall as if he did not fear the ink when he should have.

Her ears steamed with anger as she saw that group, it was far too large for her to deal with on her own and too far away from the Projectionist’s grounds for her to manage to lure him to them. But on the bright side, she could learn some important information from them, after all, with how casually the prophet was sitting and gesturing and how the other freaks in the crowd were responding, this was clearly not one of his normal sermons.

(“I still find it rather funny that almost none of us are straight and that the few straight ones among us are trans, it’s like all this time we thought we were sheep hiding away in wolves’ clothing among wolves, unaware that the “wolves” were simply other sheep in hiding as well!”)

[Funnily enough, I’d rather be a sheep than a wolf, I think it makes more sense for me to be an animal that’s helpful to others but also easily scared.] The Boris wrote on a typewriter. [Or at least, I wish I had some kind of input on what I am, but I doubt I’d make myself an animal…]

(“Speaking of which...”) The lost one next to the wolf whispered in his ear as she looked over his typing. (“How are you holding up, Buddy?”)

Instead of typing, the wolf drew himself shrugging and put a bunch of question marks around him, then stuck the drawn-on paper in his typewriter and added to it.

[It’s hard to think most of the time, Boris always seems stronger when I’m alone, but I know the Ink demon will find us if I stay with you, this hunger is driving me crazy, and I just wanna go home. But on the bright side, I don’t have to deal with periods, chest pain from binding, or people condescendingly calling me ‘Miss Lewek’ anymore.]

She turned on the sound in that room, watching them like one would watch a Tv drama, but what she heard caught her off guard.

“So as long as we’re being honest about ourselves with each other…” The lost one stood up and pointed accusingly at Sammy. “Were you and Joey and a thing all along before the machine came into the picture!?”

If she was drinking water, she would’ve spat it right back out. Sammy, with Joey?! In the latter’s dreams, maybe! Even a few of the other lost ones looked shocked at the question, the Boris even gasped loud enough for it to be audible.

“Technically yes, but not by choice, mind you.”

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”

What the fuck indeed random lost one. The angel wished that she didn’t hear that, but now that she couldn’t unsee it, at least it made a little bit of sense in hindsight. After all, in her eyes, they were awful enough to deserve each other.

“...Why?”

“It’s just, well... somebody had to keep his eyes from wandering to the lambs- err- younger, more naive, less experienced employees, not children (to my knowledge). And at the time, I really thought that he did at least care about me beyond our work relationships, at least a little bit…  But from what I’ve seen, I believe the only things he had ever truly loved were himself, and the idealized versions he had made of other people. His ‘dream versions’ of them, if you will.”

“And this whole time, I thought he was running off with Susie with all those lunch dates! Or where the three of you all… yaknow, *together* together?”

 “Not knowingly… However I wouldn’t put it past Joey to cheat on people. As for Susie... I did like her, maybe even love her in a way, but I doubt I could ever love her in the way she wanted me to love her, and-or love her carnally. I don’t even think I could fake it like I could for Joey, she was never signing my checks and wasn’t holding that over my head so I’d be too disgusted to even try.”

Malice was almost about to march down there herself and push him into the ink, but she knew this troupe all too well, and knew that sometimes this place worked on story logic, he’s now going to say something that alters the context of that statement enough to not justify her going over there and slam dunking him into the ink.

“Now that I think of it, I don’t think that I’ve ever loved… anyone in that sense. I can’t think of a single person or situation where the idea of doing that is anything other than gross at best. In fact, there was someone who was close to me a long time ago, someone who, while I have long forgotten now, would perhaps even be what one could consider a soulmate. Even then, the mere thought of doing that with them still makes me queasy…” The prophet sighed. “I suppose I am simply meant to remain alone in religious celibacy. A relationship of that kind would interfere too much with my worship anyway.”

"Ahh fahr foehck's sake... I can't believe dat it's dis foehckin stupid..." A more lucid, absolute giant of a searcher in the back of the crowd slapped his forehead.

“It?” Malice repeated curiously. “Huh… maybe it and I had more in common than we thought.”

“You're clearly a sex-repoehlsed asexual, you doehmbass! literally everyahne who's ever been in de dark poehddles at de same time as you figured dis ooeht befahre you ded!” He shouted through cupped hands. “celibate people are people who WANT sex, boeht dahn't poehrsue it fahr variooehs reasahns, dey ARE NAHT people who are desgoehsted wit sex to de point where dey legitimately throw oehp and feel 'ahrreble after doin de nahrmal vanella stoehff! Stahp foehckin foehckin people when you're clearly naht cahmfortable wit it, and you and future partner..s? 'll be 'appier wit yooehr rahmantic poehrsuits!”

The searcher, upon realizing that he had furiously sworn at the Prophet, their leader, the one who does not fear anything within the studio, not even the deepest depths of the dark puddles, and most terrifyingly of all; the former music director, he slinked into a puddle within the crowd in fear of being the target of reawakened ancient wrath. Everybody else looked back and forth to the prophet and back at the searcher who spoke out as they remained in stunned silence, even their eavesdropper was worried for his fate, even if in her case she feared how the show would end rather than his outcome. Surprisingly, and luckily for him, the Prophet broke the tense silence by laughing in that caught-off-guard tone of it.

“While you were rather… crude about it, what you’ve said does make a lot more sense then Joey being so bad at sex that he turned me away from men altogether, even if it is funny to assume that he was.”

“A-aye… and I can't believe dat you wrahte an entire foehckin sahng abooeht it! 'ow ded you naht get fired fahr dat?!”

“Good question, I wish I could remember the answer…”

[Maybe you had blackmail on Drew?] The Boris typed out and handed to Sammy.

“Yeah, maybe because you used to be so close to him, you saw skeletons that Joey would want to keep in the closet” His lost-one friend added.

“Like HIMSELF!” A voice from the back added, making the others in the room burst into laughter.

With the tension in the room gone, the group just went back to talking about either journeys they took to become comfortable with themselves, or the various past relationships that they had, or wished they had or in some peoples’ cases, all three.

Malice continued to watch them bitterly. It was as if they had either forgotten what the outside world was like to people like them or they simply didn’t care, and she wasn’t thinking about the ink that made up their bodies. Part of her envied how freely they had talked about themselves and each other, part of her felt like she had been smacked across the face, and a third part of her felt lonely. All of them seemed so happy telling their stories and building each other up, and here she was hiding away with her own story that she had wished to bury.

However, there was no iron clad law stating that she couldn’t tell them her own story. In fact, maybe if she came out of her own cage, made Sammy understand that big part of why voicing Alice was so important to her, made sure that it understood that as the very first explicitly female character she voiced, that Alice Angel was more than a beloved character to her, that she was a part of her, the biggest symbol of her own femininity, then maybe it would recognize the error of its ways. Maybe it would see how devastating it would be to be shunted aside without notice in favor of someone newer, prettier, ‘more feminine’...

She shut off the camera and thought it over, and she made up her mind. While she still didn’t want to share her story with everyone, Sammy needed to know it. Whether the Prophet liked it or not, she was going to pay it a visit.

[my-never-ending-nightmare]

Got a raise at work at the start of the month. Wish I could say that it was for having done something remarkable or for having been such an outstanding employee but instead it was just my automatic reward for having made it so long without quitting. If I can last another quarter of the year then I get another raise but… idk if it’s worth it, honestly. I love what I get paid to do - but I hate what it exposes me to on a daily basis. It’s incredibly emotionally & spiritually draining spending each and every day dealing firsthand with people suffering from mental illness, cognitive delays, substance abuse, addiction & physical illness (often terminal.)

I think my own mental health is just too fragile for it, honestly. And I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve started crying on the job in the moments that I get alone. Literally the only thing making it worthwhile is the pay. I’ve never been paid so much in my life. But never in my life have I felt so drained by work, either.

It’s not even a job in the career field that I feel I belong in. It just pays better than any of the jobs that would get my foot back in that door. But it’s only a job that I took for the wrong reasons.

Because I took it for someone else. And I took it because I love them. Because I knew that this job would keep me close to them. And I knew that the hours I work would be more compatible with their life. I knew that with this job we could make things work - that we wouldn’t have to struggle so hard to find the time for each other. And that we could create our own life together, as partners - without having to sacrifice either of our jobs for that.

But now they’re gone.

And I’m left wondering why I subject myself to this sort of misery every single day despite what it’s done to my mental health - because the only answer I can find is money. More money than I know what to do with. More money than I need. More money than I even want. Because all I actually want is to be happy - and money isn’t doing that for me. I’d trade it all in a heartbeat just to be happy. As happy as the people I deal with on a daily basis are when they get to talk to me. Like, this job as taught me just how sad, lonely & pathetic so many peoples lives are - yet all it takes to punctuate that loneliness for them is me. Someone they can just talk to.

I’m terrified of ending up like them. But even more than that I’m terrified that I’ll never have what they have, either - respite from the loneliness. Because they’re lonely for anyone. While I’m only lonely for one person.

And I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do without them. Because I’d been lonely my entire life until they came along and showed me what I’ve been missing: a reason to endure the pain.

Something that makes it all worthwhile. Something that is beyond & outside of myself. Something that is more important than me.

Someone I love.

And everything that I’ve done (and haven’t done) for the past 9 months of my life has been for them and them alone.

I had so much hope for the future when I started this job. So many things that I envisioned it would make possible. So many reasons to endure the suffering and work as hard as possible so that I could provide someone with the sort of life that they left me for.

Now all I think about is how I’m going to survive the day - and how much longer I can keep doing it. Because self-destruction honestly seems more logical than continuing to endure the suffering for another day.

But then I remember that I’m done doing the easy thing. I’m done doing what’s rational. I’m going to start doing the right thing. I’m going to start listening to the one thing that’s keeping me alive.

I’m never turning my back on my heart again.

It knows what’s best for me.

My brain doesn’t.

Because my brain keeps telling me that it’s over. But my heart knows that as long as my love & I are still alive then it’s not over; and it’s not too late. I can keep waiting. I can keep enduring. Things can still get better.

Crazier things have happened.

[namelesswolffreak]

"Boyfriends"

I've been working on this story concept for....3-4 years now and I've finally managed to work everything out to the point I'm confident in posting this little blurb of the main characters. So, I hope you enjoy and feel free to ask questions about them and their world.

Context: This takes place in a world of super powered people heavily inspired by MHA / Marvel / Miraculous. Waker (Way-kur) Atlas is Dare City's main hero who is put through quite a lot on a daily to weekly basis trying to beat the baddies and Cyrus Fauthrin is his infamous thief arch nemesis turned lover and best friend who causes trouble around the city just to get the Hero's attention.

--------------

The melancholy of the day was waning on Waker as he patrolled the quiet streets of one of Dare’s many neighborhoods which was quite unusual considering every seven seconds a villain was after his head. The sun was barely above the clouds, no one was really awake yet and the only thing that accompanied him was his footsteps as he jumped, hopped and skipped to the next platform he summoned under his feet. He happened to be bounding over Lay Wind Park, the foxes fast asleep in their dens to his disappointment, but the Hero Monuments were still a sight to behold in the early sunrise as they shone with brilliance in what little light was filtering over the surrounding hillsides.

The wind blew past his frizzed locks as he stood above the park near a tree in the shade, expression steeled and focused as he watched for signs of trouble as he waited for a certain someone to arrive. Today was uneventful and rather slow, the kind of day Waker preferred if he were being honest. Heaven knew being bored all day was ten times better than returning home to the countless kitchen sink surgeries he’d have to do with worn needles and his mother’s thread pinching into his skin as he sewed up bloodied wounds full of shrapnel and debris. Much better. The birds were chirping a happy, lazy song as they flew by on the breeze and the distant hum of an awakening city filled the natural ambiance of cicadas and crickets quite nicely as he watched and waited. He dare let out a sigh as the scene took hold of him fully, a warmth washing over him that he hadn’t felt in the recent weeks.

Which wouldn’t be for long as the rustling of tree leaves and a “Boo!” have him falling off of his platforms and hurtling towards the ground with an embarrassingly shrill scream.

“Waker!” A concerned voice follows as a blue blur dives after him.

Ground spiraling as he falls, Waker braces for impact, too late to conjure any platforms beneath him to break the fall so, he readies himself, waiting for the hurt and pain that would surely follow with some scrapes and bruises…………...But it never comes. He unscrunches his eyes and removes his arms from his head to see a blue, sparkling light surrounding him.

Irritation and embarrassment take over him immediately.

His face turns a copious amount of red as he’s carefully scooped up in pale arms that hold him close and, humiliatingly enough, in bridal style. Oh god no, he curses mentally, murmuring a soft “No…” into his shield of arms. This was so not how he wanted to show up in front of his partner after their long and grueling few weeks of not being able to see each other outside of villain fights and breaks in between their testing week.

The sudden warmth of a chest presses against his side and the delicate rhythm of a frantic heart race beneath his one hand as the other quickly grabs for his cape to hide his strawberry cheeks. There was no way in hell he was letting ‘he knew who’ see him in such a state, there was no possible way he could let the witch-like thief catch him like this. A brave hero didn’t get scared or spooked by rustling leaves and the word boo! Absolutely absurd! Though a voice in the back of his mind said he already had.

“You are such a fucking clutz, I swear.” And a huge scaredy cat, the blue-clad ravenette doesn’t say aloud, but his tone implies anyways. “I should take you to my ballet classes sometime, maybe then you’d actually learn some balance.” The comment only makes him clutch the soft fabric tighter around himself.

He’s loathing the thought of unveiling himself now, but he knows he’s been caught, his normally stoic or serious persona now broken and practically burned away as he knows his cape isn’t doing much to hide his warm face or the tenseness of his grip. Plans to forever sink himself into a hole where nobody could possibly ever find him again after this mess are shortly abandoned for now and gaining courage Waker swallows the huge lump in his throat and tries to cleverly reply. “H-hey, what’s a-....What’s up, Witch Boy?” And he knows the intended playfulness doesn’t go through as he’s met with a narrowed glare.

The other isn’t amused. “Witch boy, really? Did I actually scare you that badly that you lost a couple of brain cells?”

“Shu-shut up, Cyrus!” He defends as this “Cyrus” just sighs at him, though his stare more sly than pointed now.

“Get out of that stupid thing so I can see your face.” He says with a tremble in his voice that Waker can definitely tell is laughter, the prick. “Or I’ll totally drop you again.” And like hell he will, Waker knows, but he takes the threat seriously nonetheless and loosens his grip on the cape just enough to see the Ravenette’s brilliant and ever playful smile.

For a moment Waker just stares and admires him, those brilliant blues sparkling, no, literally sparkling as he says something Waker doesn’t catch. The sun is framing his face so perfectly in the light, highlighting those perfectly red cheeks he would love to kiss every morning, and the slight upturn of his lips as he smiles down in reverence at him, and the slow flutter of his lashes that compliment his features nicely. Though braided off to the side Cyru’s hair never fails to make him look so ethereal as the gentle morning breeze brushes back his loose strands. Waker swears it looks like its made up of space itself when he lets it go during the night time, convincing himself he can see stars within the strands when he stands beneath the moonlight. It doesn’t take much to make the hero swoon regarding his partner nowadays. Daydreams of peaceful nights alone on the couch watching movies together after his nightmares keep him awake and alert run through his mind, or the times Cyrus has saved him from getting beaten to a pulp and they spent hours talking over stitching him back together about nothing at all, and every single time Cyrus has stuck up for him at school, reminding him of the warmth this person carries with them and all the love and affection he’s constantly showered in when they’re together. It’s strange how much Cyrus has changed over the past few months from raging emo to ride or die friend, but he wouldn’t change it for the world. He doesn’t even try to stop the lofty sigh that escapes his lips as more dear memories cross his mind.

And Cyrus is all too quick to recognize that dumb look on his face.

“Oh, hell no!” Is the only warning he gets before being promptly dropped, this time no blue aura to save him from hitting the dirt below, landing with a thud. “Not this early in the morning!” Though Waker could have sworn Cyrus was sharing the same look with him not minutes prior.

“Ow! Why’d you drop me, asshole!?”

Cyrus cocks his hips as he floats there, his wide brimmed conical now covering his eyes in an intimidating manner, making him way more menacing than he should considering his current attire. “Oh please, don’t even act like you’re hiding that stupid look on your face, Idiot! I ain’t dealing with your whole sappy dappy act this early in the morning.”

By “sappy dappy” Waker knows exactly what he’s referring to and scowls accordingly. Apparently, holding hands and having morning cuddles while complimenting everything about Cyrus is considered sappy and lovingly disgusting. Well at least to some people, it’s called affection and admiration!

“It’s a look that means I like you, asswipe!” Waker shoots back, malice nowhere to be found in his tone though, barring more on playfulness.

“Do you think I’m in love with you or something!?”

And they then stand there -well float there- in silence, both looking each other in the eyes, narrowed brows testing the other to make the next move or say the next snappy comment. And for a moment it looks as if the words really have cut too deep, but Waker isn’t one to remain serious for long as his shoulders begin to shake, prompting the other to clutch his stomach and stifle a grin as their eyes water over with laughter.

“Oh, no, not me, I could never.” Waker quips, leaning back and hugging both his arms, not caring for the dirt now caking his suit. Cyrus is quick to come back with his own natural snark.

“Pfft, as if! Absolutely not. Me and you, the orange haired frizz ball who kicks my ass more than twice a week over that one time I stole a candy bar? You gotta be fucking with me!” He bellows, Waker taking note of the boy flipping upside down where he floats in the air, his face a contortion of joy and happiness as his ripped dress flows with the wind.

He finds the display rather adorable, recalling that such a thing only occurred by accident when the thief was getting emotional. His inept ability to control his powers never failed to amuse the Hero. The little wrinkle of his nose didn’t quiet his thoughtful admiration either as he blushed in between bouts of giggles.

"I wouldn't have time to be your lover anyways!"

“It’s only 6am, when can I admire my boyfriend so it fits within your busy schedule?”

And the laughter is immediately quieted, a heavy silence filling the air, even the crickets and cicadas falling victim to it. The world is waiting in bated breath as if listening to the drama unfold.

Waker holds in a breath. Oh shit, oh fuck, he really fucked it up this time! Way to go, Atlas, you really did a number on today!

…………

………….

“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to, I just did-”

“It’s ok……” Cyrus breaths out, taking a long drag of air before finally finishing. “It’s….ok.” He manages to lower himself to the ground, dress falling at his sides, and crosses his arms in doing so. “We’re-I’m going to have to get used to it eventually.” He shrugs. “Right?”

There’s a weight to his words as Cyrus steps closer to the redhead that Waker recognizes near immediately. They’ve had this talk before, a talk that has led to a misunderstanding or two between them in the past and a verbal fight at that. The term “Boyfriend.” It was a touchy subject to say the least and while it had been a challenge for even Waker himself to start using it, it also seemed Cyrus was struggling to accept the lofty title. A long time ago before the two even met, the word had a different meaning to it for them both, but Waker had long since come to terms with it himself, but understood Cyrus’ hesitation in saying the word freely. He considered his next words carefully.

“I know you don’t exactly like the ter-”

“It’s not that I don’t like it Waker…..”

“I know, Cy, but.” Failing to put his thoughts into words Waker scrambles forward to catch Cyrus’ hands in his own, pecking each delicately, square on the knuckles, gauging his reaction whilst he does so. When Waker is met with a soft smile, he returns it, though his much softer and kinder in Cyrus’ eyes. “I shouldn’t have said it when you’re not ready. Just because I moved past it doesn’t mean you have.” Noticing his smile slipping he clumsily adds in, “And that’s ok! Really, it’s ok and I mean, and I love you and-uh, I get it and I mean I just say boyfriend because that’s what everyone else says, expects- wait no- I didn’t mean to phrase it like that uh-I don’t really get the need for a title for what we have anyways, like so dumb right!?”

Followed by more ridiculous rambling that has Cyrus covering his mouth trying not to giggle. It’s a nervous habit that has come to amuse the thief to no end. “And-it not like it means anything to us, its just there for other people so they know that um, we, us, you and I are an um item I guess wow that was cheesy and dumb and I am so sorry that you have to put up with me oh god I’m rambling and no, don’t look at me like that. I’m doing the thing again aren’t I-” Shaking with laughter again Cyrus has to put a hand on his shoulder to get him to shut up because he knows if he doesn’t Waker could go on well into the night and has before. It didn’t help that he could feel the tremble of the others fingers, realizing Waker was going to throw himself into an anxiety attack if he didn’t.

“Waker!” And Waker promptly closes his mouth, panic clear in his eyes that Cyrus quickly combats by brushing strands of orange out of his face and behind his ear. “Just take a deep breath.” And Waker does, following the instruction intently. “And let it out, slowly.” And Waker follows that too, looking that much calmer as Cyrus pulls him closer. “Slowly.” He rubs his thumbs over Waker’s hands. The trembling is still present, but less so. “There you go.” And doesn’t stop telling him to breath calmly until he feels Waker’s grip relax in his own.

Delicately and softly, each flyaway is combed back into place only to immediately pop out again, but Waker appreciates the sentiment anyways and Cyrus has no problem being given an excuse to keep combing through such lovely soft tufts. He loves the soft mane of fluff on his partner’s head that even since their first meeting has remained as untamed and wild as ever. -Such a shame he always ties it back when he’s on duty though- It just adds to the contrast between his actual self and hero persona, the sweet and endearing ball of anxiety vs the serious and battle ready hero of Dare city who couldn’t catch a break. And he wouldn’t be ashamed to admit to which one he preferred.

“You don’t need to tell me-er.” Waker quickly corrects, trying not to sound patronizing. “I don’t need you to explain yourself Cy. You-we don’t need to have a name if that’s what you want, that’s what I’m trying to say. Official or unofficial or whatever, I won’t treat you any different.”

“I know Waker. I…..I really want to call you that, just I-.......I just like what we have right now and-”

Waker just pecks him on the cheek quickly and pulls away to pat at a spot on the ground, looking longingly back up at him. A soundless “You don’t want to lose me.” goes unsaid as Cyrus complies, Waker taking the shorter one in his arms once more.

It wasn’t a matter of Cyrus being afraid to commit, though maybe it was, not even he was sure of what was going with himself anymore, but a fear that the wonderful friendship he’d built up with the hero would end or change or just not be the way it is now because they suddenly started calling each other boyfriends. He’s had it happen one too many times at this point, every one of his previous “boyfriends” changing everything once they started dating, acting as if kissing and romantic outings were supposed to be their only interactions from now on. They were no longer interested in the random silly things he found on the internet or just hanging out doing whatever, but were interested in using him, his body, parading him around and rubbing it in peoples faces, being denied having fun if it wasn’t their idea of “fun” and more. Cyrus' stomach curls remembering being ignored for weeks to months at a time because he wasn’t feeling up to being in bed with them or awkwardly sitting off to the side while his one boyfriend at the time showed him off to his friends and bragged. It was the same guy who he used to play videogames and eat cookies with on the weekends, talking about anything and everything…...It hurts him to realise there probably was never a friendship there to begin with. Just an elaborate ruse to get him into bed at some point.

And that was one thing Cyrus feared when they had held hands for the first time after awkwardly admitting to harboring feelings for each other after the high of a fight they were forced to join sides on. Never had the thief felt more relieved that his feelings were reciprocated, but also more scared that he had just ruined the one healthy relationship he managed to make in those many months spent together.

Cyrus removes his hat and huddles under Waker’s chin, placing his head right on his heart that gives out a steady, comforting rhythm and brightens when the taller of the two puts his head on him in return. No, Cyrus thinks, this is different.

A long silence falls between them as they cuddle in each other's arms, just watching the sun come up. Basking in each other’s presence, taking in the warmth of their bodies pressed together in this nice early morning, and relishing in the calm which was far and few in between with their double lives and they were thankful. There’s no need to exchange words now as a quiet understanding befalls them both.

It’s only after the sun seems to peak at the crest of the hillsides does Waker make himself heard again.

“Is that why you dropped me?” And Cyrus blinks for a quick second, processing the question before understanding and then playfulness cross his expression.

“No it’s because you’re a dunce.” He huffs. “And fucking heavy as hell.”

Waker chooses to ignore that last bit. “But I’m your dunce.” He boops his nose.

“Damn, straight you are.” And Cyrus retaliates with a kiss on his.

Boyfriend or just “friend who I like to kiss and hold hands with sometimes”, Waker loves him and Cyrus doesn’t doubt that for a second.

[thedancingcrab]

This week marks mental health awareness week. I don't know how much a social media post really does.. Maybe nothing at all. But I'd like to start this off in saying that I've become a lot more confident in my body since I let myself gain weight instead of holding onto the idea that I should always be slim to be considered attractive. And let me tell you why.

This past year and probably years and years before that I've had to put so much time and energy into healing. It's been one of the most exhausting processes but also so rewarding at the same time. Because I can tell you this whole heartedly. I now like myself. No. I love myself. I love everything that I am and what I've become. But this wasn't an overnight process. It's been painful, I've had to confront a lot of my wrong doings, mistakes and negative thoughts about myself to get to where I am now. I had to find hobbies. I had to pour my energy into other things than myself. Because honestly. When you die, no one's gonna think about how beautiful you were. They might say it, but they will focus on how you were beautiful in other ways. Maybe how you lit up the room with your smile. How you were so positive and how much they miss your energy.

A hobby I've found in this past year is cycling and going hiking and it's done wonders for my mental health. Because I started worrying less about what my body looks like and more what it can actually do for me. I have legs that allow me to walk up mountains. Not everyone is that lucky. I live somewhere where I get to see some of the most beautiful sights in the world (Wales isn't a shithole trust me there really is incredible places). We hardly ever criticise how nature looks so why do we do it to ourselves? Another thing I've noticed as well is that the only person who really says bad things about my appearance..is me. Nobody really cares. People are so focused on themselves and what they're doing. I used to get told I was ugly in school all the time. Even by girls who were supposed to be my friends. But I refuse to carry the weight of those opinions with me around anymore. Maybe I didn't look the best in school, but it wasn't my focus. I was quirky and I owned that. But I didnt have the self awareness back then that I do now. And the weight of those opinions got on top of me so much, until they became a problem and I found myself with an eating disorder and I stopped eating and increasing the amount of makeup I wore cause I thought that was what happiness felt like. Skinny, glamorous. It didn't get any better.

I convinced myself I was happy whilst I ate sugar free jelly and low calorie ice cream. But it was hell and I'm so glad I know what real ice cream tastes like now. As for my face, it's nice to let it breathe every now and then as well. I'm beautiful with no makeup on and I'm beautiful if I want to wear it. But I don't always feel that way. I still have bad days and there's still that voice somewhere that tells me I'm out of shape and should maybe increase my exercise and eat a bit better. It will probably always be there. When you've struggled with your body perception for years I'm not sure it ever quite goes away. But I also recognise when those thoughts come up now and it's easier to flick them away. Cause I know there is so much more to me than how I look and I get so sad when others don't have that awareness too cause I've been there and I know what it's like to have your appearance consume your mind day in and day out. I think all the women I've compared myself to over the years are dealing with the same thing. Maybe when I was comparing myself to the girl that had the body type I wanted and the face I'd love to have she was also dealing with the same battles of her own. The only person we should be comparing ourselves to is the previous version of ourselves and how much we've grown or will continue to grow. We don't know what others are dealing with at the end of the day. And just because someone looks like you want to look doesn't mean they're better than you in any way shape or form. You don't need to be pretty like somebody else you need to be pretty like you. Cause nothing compares to that. If there's anyone else that I know who is still battling with what feels like a never ending hell of not loving yourself.. Here's some tips I've learned along the way that really help me.

- Try to stop mirror checking. I say try, because I still do now and it's a work in progress. When you find yourself doing it, create some distractions. Think about other things you have to do. I guarantee your washing basket needs sorting out right now. I can guarantee something in your room or anywhere else needs tidying and fixing. Go and sort it. We can't change our bodies in an instant, but we can sort out those mundane tasks we keep putting off and it's way more fulfilling when you do one of those tasks. Trust me I have plenty...

- The next time you go outside, look around at people. Is anyone really focusing on you? Probably not. They're probably focused on themselves. Or their dog if they're out walking them (I'm also trying to focus less on myself and the cute dogs I get to see when I'm out). Another thing.. Acknowledge what you're doing in that moment. We get to use our legs, our legs are allowing us to walk and see daylight. Not everyone is that lucky as I mentioned before. Okay maybe my legs weren't as skinny as they used to be but seriously who cares. There are so many other things I can be focusing on right now and you can too.

- Again another work in progress but seriously I'm working on it and it's getting better. When people compliment you, stop trying to find reasons on why they're wrong. Because if they turned around one day and told you everything you say to yourself on a daily basis it would break your heart. Trust me it would. But the people who love you don't think those things and they never will. Because if you asked them what they like about you the most your appearance won't be one of them. Maybe your partner will say something jokey and sweet about it. But trust me, it's not what they love about you the most. Other things are far more important. And they probably love you because you make their life so much more bearable in some form. We all have our own problems. Think about how much you add to that person's life when they're facing struggles of their own. I guarantee, you will be able to find at least one thing.

- No food is a bad food. We can all have too much of something but that goes for every kind of food. And exercise is amazing for our mental health but it doesn't mean we have to over indulge in it just because we ate 'bad' for a few days and now we feel guilty. Be kind to yourself in those moments. Once again it's another work in progress for me too. I pretty much eat whatever I want when I want now. But there's still that voice in my head. They're a bit annoying at this point I don't know whether I should give her a name.. Maybe Ursula cause she was my least favourite Disney villian. Ursula just needs to piss off sometimes. I went through years of restricting myself and I don't wanna do it anymore.

- Let people take pictures of you. I know. Its terrifying. I still hate it now. But one day all people will have of you is a memory and that picture you hate of yourself so much might be their favourite. In this day and age all we ever get exposed to is picture perfect filtered people who probably shaved off half of their thigh with some editing programme like face tune or whatever it's called. Then someone takes a normal picture of us and we zoom in on it and start criticising ourselves from our face all the way down to our toes. We start asking people to put a filter on us before they take the picture because anything is better than being confronted with our real selves. I just don't wanna live in a world like that anymore. I'm still guilty of doing it myself from time to time, but the less people do it the better. I'd love to start being more of an advocate for that.

When you put your phone down and get into the real world and it's something I've started making more of a cautious effort to do lately, everyone just looks normal!! Everyone has textured skin, everyone's got pores, people have oil, people have spots, people have dry skin. Maybe some are better at hiding it than others. But it's just skin. Thats literally it. Social media has warped our brains into thinking we're not good enough cause we don't look like the person who's completely cellulite, pore and acne free in their gym gear living their best life. But in all honesty, they probably don't look like that either. I'm not saying people can't, but the tiniest bit of editing can go into a photo and we think it's realistic. And they're probably insecure about something as well. Don't compare yourself to images that aren't real life. I know it's hard. Once again I still do it myself. But we can make a cautious effort to realise when we're doing these things and implement little changes on how to stop.

If you got this far and read all of this, then thank you. It means the world. I hope I was able to maybe get you to think about life in a different way and maybe.. Just maybe more positively. If not then thank you for reading anyway! I hope we can all stop being so unkind to ourselves one day. 💚

[milktyama]

— ☕︎ GINGERBREAD MEN

synopsis: making gingerbread men cookies with osamu and making his brother jealous that he’s single

pairing: miya osamu x reader

genre: fluff, i tried to be funny, it’s actually mostly the twins arguing oops, but there are osamu x reader moments dw lol

wc: 748

“OI ‘TSUMU WOULD YA STOP BARGING INTO THE KITCHEN ALREADY?” the oh so peaceful Miya Osamu, shouting? Yeah that is something only Miya Atsumu, his twin brother, could do. As you beat the butter and sugars together for a second batch of cookies, the twins continued to bicker as if there was no tomorrow. 

“THIS AIN’T ONLY YER HOUSE OKAY? PLUS WHY IS YA SO PISSY ABOUT ME BEING HERE HUH??” oh so is that the best comeback the Miya Atsumu could come up with? Against his brother? You thought he knew better. 

Watching this fight unravel was much more entertaining than you would’ve thought, but then again you are dating one of the Miya twins, and in doing so there is not a single day that you are with the both together that is peaceful. It was quite the show though, so you never complained. 

Moving on to the eggs and vanilla flavouring of the cookie dough, the set got back onto their argument once again. There just is no break with them is there? you thought to yourself. You felt a large pair of arms wrapped around your waist as the owner of them pulled you closer to him, resting his chin on the top of your head. 

“~BECAUSE~ Y/n and I are on a stay at home date, and we don’t need ya ruining it. Stop being jealous and get a partner already so yer can stop pestering us would’ya?” a grin was plastered across Osamu’s face as he planted a kiss on your temple, marking his point to Atsumu.

You could see the blood vessel on Atsumu’s forehead as Osamu continued to shower you with affection. Man the things he does to rile his brother up. You decided to humour him by kissing the tip of his nose, and Atsumu lost it. 

“Ewwwww yer both are disgusting. Right in front of my salad?”

“‘Tsumu there is no salad, we're making cookies here.” you stated, pointing at the many baking tools that were spread across the counter in front of you. The blond head puffed his cheeks and stomped out of the kitchen, he’s had enough eeky lovey dovey romance being rubbed onto his face. 

The two of you just giggled while staying in the intimate position. Osamu’s arms always felt so safe around you, his large arms that were built from all the physical work he does on a daily basis. The two of you continued your ministries with the cookies; Osamu mixing the dry ingredients for the second batch as you got the frosting ready to decorate the first batch. 

The holidays were nearing and you two thought it would be nice to have a small baking date, one of your favorites over at the Miya residence, though it often resulted with the pair of twins fighting at the start, in between, and right before your departure.

As you stuffed the frosting onto a bag, Osamu has finished the dough for the second batch and is prepping it to chill in the fridge. Making his way beside you, the two of you start to decorate the gingerbread men cookies to your content. Some were done in a traditional sense and some were drawn after the Inarizaki players. 

There were a few cookies that were slightly cracked which normally wouldn’t be  a big deal however it did affect how the gingerbread men cookies would turn out in the end. Osamu grabbed one of the cracked ones then drew what appeared to be Atsumu onto it. 

The two of you broke into laughter. Osamu’s warm brown eyes traced your laughing figure, analysing how breathtaking you were merely at the sight of you truly enjoying yourself. He was so thankful to have you in his life. He held your hand on his as you stopped laughing, locking your eyes onto his. 

His left hand flew right up to meet your cheek and you nuzzled into his hand, intaking the warmth that radiated from his muscles. The two leaned onto each other and your lips met for a short instant, when the loud yelling from a certain blond head blasted through the kitchen once more.

“EWWW Y’ALL ARE KISSING IN FRONT OF MY COOKIES NOW- WAIT WHY ARE THE CRACKED COOKIES DECORATED LIKE ME ‘SAMU YOU SON OF A-”

Let’s just say that the two of you couldn’t decorate a couple of cookies after your relationship until you got Atsumu out of the house; quite literally.

[chukazanmai]

☯  𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎  ☯

ANSWER  THE  FOLLOWING  FOR  YOUR  MUSE  SO  PEOPLE  KNOW HOW  SHIPPING  WORKS  ON  YOUR  BLOG.

WHAT  IS  YOUR  OTP  FOR  YOUR  CHARACTER? With canon characters there are two that I ship Ren the most with: Iron Maiden Jeanne, his (future) wife canon wise, because despite the lack of canon information regarding their relationship I think there is a lot of fun in imagining, theorizing and writing many what if’s about how they became what they are to each other. The second character is Yoh Asakura, many will argue Ren’s and Yoh’s relationship is just friendship and platonic and it’s fine to see it as such but to me it is much deeper than that, romantic or not, their bond is really special and deep.

WHAT  ARE  YOU  WILLING  TO  WRITE  WHEN  IT  COMES  TO SHIPPING? Almost anything really! I don’t mind writing NSFW however as my rules state I only write that with adult Ren, anything that aludes to that kind of content with a younger version of him will be done in fade to black style and be skipped. However keep in mind, writing NSFW isn’t my biggest thing, I tend to get bored with that sort of content really quick and would rather stick to the normal romantic parameters. I absolutely love to write AUs/What If’s verses so definitely come to me with AU ideas so that we can build something and above all have fun with it. Angst/romantic/comedy/fluff, any of these themes work too. Shipping with me, however, requires developing chemistry between the characters, I won’t jump immediately into something until we’ve at least stabilized a few points. Ren has a difficult temper, he has a harsh past and trust issues, it’s not easy to love him for who he is.

HOW  LARGE  DOES  THE  AGE  GAP  HAVE  TO  BE  TO  MAKE  IT UNCOMFORTABLE? Please keep anything sh/otacon (or anything similar) away from me, I absolutely cannot stand that kind of gender (I have seen that sort of shipping with Ren and it makes me really uncomfortable). Other than that, I would say anything above 6-7 years of age gap starts being a no for me.

HOW  FAR  DO  STEAMY  MOMENTS  HAVE  TO  GO  BEFORE  THEY ARE  CONSIDERED NSFW? I would say anything that goes beyond the clothing removal and the steamy kisses. Either way if the thread leads to that sort of thing we will have to have talked about it, so both me and my RP partner should know when it’s time to use the skip button.

ARE  YOU  SELECTIVE  WHEN  SHIPPING? I would say I am! As I mentioned above, Ren has a temper that is just not easy for everyone to deal with him; he is harsh, violent and most of the time is ‘act first, think later’.  I’m not really into shipping with characters from fandoms I have no idea what they are about, doesn’t mean it’s impossible but unless I get to really know the character in question then it’s really hard. Also, again, as mentioned above, chemistry between our muses is key to me! Once we have established the essential points of their relationship, really, anything can go so long we both agree on it and I love the idea of surprising my rp partner from time to time!

ARE  YOU  SHIP  OBSESSED  OR  SHIP  MORE-OR-LESS ? Depends on my rp partner and depends on the ship itself. However you can bet that if we talk on a daily basis (doesn’t have to be the literal meaning of that word) about our ship that I will spam you with memes and ideas of them.

WHO  ARE  OTHER  CHARACTERS  YOU  SHIP  YOUR  CHARACTER WITH? With canon characters there is no other character in particular aside from the two earlier mentioned! However I’m quite open to other possibilities. I do have a guilty pleasure for Ren/Hao for more darker dynamics. Other than that, again I am open to crossover ships and Ren x OC ships but again chemistry is a key here.

DOES  ONE  HAVE  TO  ASK  TO  SHIP  WITH  YOU? Yes, absolutely yes. I apologize in advance but I will ignore any romantic attempts between our muses if we haven’t talked about it at all. 

WHAT  IS  YOUR  FAVOURITE  SHIP  IN  YOUR  CURRENT  FANDOM? Answered in Q.1!

ARE  YOU  MULTISHIP? Indeed I am! I don’t care if I have 2 or 5 ships, as long as we both enjoy it then boy I am all for it.

FINALLY,  HOW  DOES  ONE  SHIP  WITH  YOU? Straight up ask me, talk to me, throw your ‘what if we’ at me and I’m sure we can work something out!!

Tagged by: No one, stole it :)

Tagging: You reading this xP