#this is me none of them are going to be cishet

[aru-art]

been on an oc redesign kick. this is incomprehensible to anyone but me and like 2 other people probably. hi tim if ur reading this

[borahaerith]

"You shouldn't get mad at cishets at pride because what if-" You shouldn't get mad at cishets at pride because it is not possible to tell if someone is cishet by looking at them and allies have always been welcome anyway. You are not the Pride Police

[dee-in-the-box]

happy pride month, y'all! have some pride headcanons!!

none of these people are straight and/or cis to me. they've all got some weird queerness going on with them

Jack: transmasc (he/him mostly, but probably wouldn't mind they/them that much), bisexual. could see him being acespec, but sex favorable or indifferent. polyamorous.

Dave: nonbinary in a "i don't understand gender and idgaf about it" way (he/him, but honestly doesn't care. probably would find out about it/its pronouns and love those), pansexual. teach this guy about xenogenders i think he'd love those too. polyamorous (i can see it).

Peter: transfem bigender (he/she), and honestly doesn't know what her sexuality would be considering his weird gender situation (look, he grew up in the 50s-60s. the most exposure to the queer community she had was through Jack, and that wasn't. A Lot). me personally? i'd say lesbian. because Fuck It, Why Not?

Dee: technically cis because she never got to grow up and figure that stuff out (she/her), but i could see her growing up and being on the spectrum of GNC or Genderqueer (the genderqueer part is Definitely not me projecting (< lie)). also aroace (repulsed on both ends)

Henry: cis man (he/him; the first entirely cis person here), bisexual. listen. i heard that thing that was like. DD originally said he was bi but then changed it to straight after getting hate for it for some reason, and i decided to make it a situation where Henry just like. Acknowledged it was a thing for him but didn't really give any fucks because he busy Committing Crimes Against Humanity. everyone thinks he's straight though, 'cause he never mentions it (again, busy with Other Things. such as Causing Problems).

Steven: cis man (he/him), gay. This Is The Shortest Fucking One. also, Steven is the shortest adult of the cast; he's 5'5".

Harry: masc nonbinary dude (he/they), bisexual, polyamorous.

Jake: cis man (he/him), graysexual panromantic, polyamorous.

Roger: probably got some genderfuckery there, but i'll just say A Dude (gender neutral) for now (he/him), gay (as in Likes Men Or Masc-Leaning People), polyamorous. didn't realize the Gay & Poly Part until Dsaf 3. You'll Never Guess How He Found Out!

Rebecca: transfem (she/they/xe), and just queer in general. not exactly poly, but she doesn't mind Harry's...other partners (Jake and Roger). it's sort of a "This is my boyfriend, and this is my boyfriend's boyfriends! ^-^" situation.

and for a few others:

Caroline: cis woman (she/her), cupioromantic (aromantic micro-label; basically means that you don't feel romantic attraction, but still desire a romantic relationship) heterosexual. she still loves Peter, her love just isn't necessarily "romantic." i'd describe it more like queerplatonic. she got married to Peter because she does genuinely care for him and love him, but also because...well, it was what was expected of her. besides, she doesn't mind being married, it's actually pretty nice. Caroline's as close as y'all are going to get to a cishet Dsaf character from these headcanons.

Matt: transmasc agender (he/him), aroace (romance indifferent/favorable (see: "I'm Matt! Everybody loves me!"), sex indifferent/repulsed (do i even need to explain it? i think we know why this was what i picked for him).

now, fun facts!!

Jack actually doesn't experience a lot of dysphoria, just upset that he doesn't have a dick. he doesn't even mind the boobs too much (except that they make people think he's a woman; that part sucks), he'd probably just like a binder. wouldn't mind top surgery, but y'know. Binders Are Easier To Get And Cheaper Than That.

Dee is romance repulsed in terms of herself for the most part (as in the idea of being romantic herself grosses her out). except for Davesport. she told Jack and Dave to "get a room" multiple times in the Flipside.

Blackjack technically has the same labels as Jack, but y'know. Ghost Dog.

Henry doesn't understand why so many queer people work at Fazbender's (Jack, Steven, Peter, etc) because he just. keeps killing them. not due to the queerness but because They Keep Getting In His Way. what is it about the Chuck E Cheese rip-offs that attracts the gays?? Is It The Bears?? Is It The Fucking BEARS??? (i had to make the joke. i had to)

Modern Day Queer Discourse would piss Jack off. he was alive in the 60s and 70s when that shit was getting more mainstream. he's effectively a queer elder, technically (even if he kinda sorta Looks perpetually twenty-two because he kinda can't age anymore). he's seen some shit. i can see him saying on someone's "He/Him Lesbians Aren't A Thing >:(" post "my bigender brother is a lesbian, though. he's got a wife" and then logging off. you can't tell me he wouldn't

I Stand By My Statement: None Of The Kennedy Siblings Have A Normal Relationship With Gender. They Just Don't.

Jack just uses a lot of slurs for himself. he's got. So Fucking Many that he can reclaim (because y'know. Gay/Bi and Trans. and he was alive during the 60s and 70s. so you can only imagine the shit he's heard or had thrown at him).

the first time in his life that Dave ever had to worry about gender stuff was when Henry was having to like. fill out paperwork and things like that to get him an ID of some kind. when they got to gender, Dave didn't really know why that was important, nor what would really fit. they just put "male" on there because technically that would "fit him best" (since he, y'know. has a dick), but Dave didn't feel like either option fit.

i feel like Jack went to a pride event/parade sometime before Dsaf 3. like, maybe he finally felt comfortable actually going there and being out safely for the first time in his life. it was nice.

Caroline helped Peter with her makeup after she came out, and with growing his hair out.

after coming home post-Dsaf 2, Peter actually tried some dresses out. they also found out a way to still put eyeliner on him. and that was using a Sharpie to draw under her phone dial to look like eyeliner. hey, it works.

Peter never got comfortable enough to wear lipstick before he died, though :( so she never got to experience that

Jack: "If I had a nickel for every time I was someone's gay awakening, I'd have three nickels. Which isn't a lot, but how does this keep happening-" (the three people in question are Dave, Jake, and Roger)

i have so many more istg, but this post is getting long. might talk about some more if anyone's interested, though!

[phagodyke]

also relevant to prev post some ppl don't even know what butch means by this point 💀

[insomniacs-keyboard]

Bruh

[genderqueerdykes]

there really is a cultural pressure for transmascs & men to detransition, and it comes from all sides. it comes from the queer community too, not just terfs and cishet transphobes.

it took me a while to realize why transphobic people and transandrophobic queers utterly despise trans guys & mascs who are over the age of like 25- it's because it pisses them right off that we've resisted their attempts to make us detransition. it makes them so angry to see they were unable to groom that person into a life of self-shame and repression. it really seems like MOST people believe that trans men will just detransition eventually in life? people NEVER think about older trans men, only teenage trans boys and trans men in their very early twenties.

when i was involved with my local punk scene i was addressed with condescension, almost everyone around me didn't accept transmasculinity as a legitimate identity and thought that we would've transitioned by now in life. i encountered folks who would talk about transmasculinity with subtle disgust that made me feel like i was doing something wrong, and people who expressed overt disgust, saying in plain english that they were disgusted by breasts and vaginas because they were gay men. all along the way i was literally mocked for not having a penis, and one of my roommates started treating me differently once they found out i didn't have one (because they were attracted to me)

i've been on T for 9 years, and been out as a trans man for a bit longer than that, and i noticed as i've aged i've also attracted a lot of folks who have tried to deter me from identifying as a trans man, either through directly telling me that trans men are inherently dangerous, or by implying that women or another gender are safer, quieter, calmer, "less traumatizing to be around," etc. one of my exes told me they were terrified to date me (despite literally going out of their way to do so for over half a year) because they were scared i would be transphobic to them because i'm a transmasculine lesbian.

i received pressure from online friends to either detransition and become an intersex butch woman, or to something feminine adjacent or nonbinary. for years i dealt with a few friends who kept subtly hinting that i should stop identifying as a trans man or trans masc because of how awful transmascs are- going as far as to sending me screenshots of transmascs speaking, complaining about them and calling them whiny, annoying. talking about how all transmascs are entitled, how all transmascs take things too personally, how we complain too much, and so on.

people make no effort to make space for transmascs and men. i met 0 transmascs in my local punk community that i was able to stay in contact with. none. i met a few in passing but none that actually were introduced to me in a capacity where i could actually try to befriend them. it really felt like other punks in the scene were desperately trying to keep the transmascs apart at times. excuses were made as to why i couldn't hang out with other transmascs i liked, but i was constantly being forced to befriend transphobic cis gay men and transandrophobic transfemmes who outwardly expressed hatred and disgust of us. it really felt like it was on purpose... almost as if other members of this community wanted our attention, but never wanted us to give each other attention or a sense of community. like we were objects, not people to be included in the community for real. satellite friends, if you will.

i'll be honest with you. i was at my lowest at this point. i realized i wasn't just a trans man and that i'm a genderqueer person who experiences multiple genders, including womanhood and an "other" gender, which was great. however now i was being forced to completely stuff down being a man for the sake of other people. instead of folks telling me they'd rather not hang out with transmascs, folks rather just attempted to guilt me for identifying as such in the hopes i'd stop identifying that way. i was being told daily that trans men and mascs are inherently violent and terrible to be around. i was in discord servers where transmascs were being kicked constantly for getting even slightly upset about transandrophobia, or being unfairly targeted by staff.

it's violence, but nobody wants to call it that. i pulled myself out of there and am now able to contact other transmascs and trans men who are proud of who they are and have elevated me back into a headspace where it's okay to truly be myself. just keep in mind that if you feel like you're in that situation, you're not alone. people who attempt to groom others are often very subtle it's not always up front. they will start slipping in hateful sentiments very slowly and make you feel like maybe they're the ones who are actually right.

it feels good to be an almost 32 year old trans guy. there's nothing to be ashamed about there. people project their feelings on to my gender and that has nothing to do with me. it has nothing to do with you, either. people will just project on to you for whatever reason- hatred is usually the motivator there. if you encounter folks who keep trying to badger you out of identifying as your gender, no matter who you are, transmasc, transfemme, transneutral, trans anything- they are not good for you. they are not your friends. they do not accept you as you are and you deserve so much better.

[mr-ribbit]

something fascinating to me about egg discourse is how often tme people Also joke about or question their friends potential to be trans, and it's literally never talked about like this.

my cis and tme nb friends routinely joke about celebrities or characters that have big "nonbinary energy" or who otherwise exhibit behavior we would associate with ourselves. i have tme friends and acquaintances who have approached me or my wife and straightforwardly said "something seems trans about you, have I asked for your pronouns recently?"

similar friends have even talked about other still-cis friends in our circle this way, or joked about "when are you going to transition like the rest of us?" or "yeah cis people are a minority in this group, just give it time" or "no wonder you have queer friends with how comfortable with being gnc you are" or etc etc examples like that

even the actual examples of people in my life that I can think of as being the most "invasive" or presumptive about gender have been tme people:

it was my cishet friends who outed me and my wife as trans to everyone at their wedding, including their boomer parents and hundreds of strangers, and called it "the most queer wedding party ever"

it was my tme nb friend who kept saying they could "always tell" her transfem cousin was trans before she came out, and then proceeded to randomly give us extremely personal details about her bottom surgery

it was my transmasc friend who refused to call me and my wife anything other than "little enby beans" after we met and introduced us with our full genders+sexuality labels to every single person one by one at a party

it was my transmasc nb friend who kept insisting my wife could "still be nonbinary" when she was first considering identifying as a trans woman instead, and it was THAT idea that actually slowed her down from making changes to her life that she wanted

it was my cis friends who approached me arm and arm and cornered my outside of a bathroom at a party right after I took a piss to suddenly ask me what my pronouns were because they "heard something" at the party

like, transfems deserve robust support against this trash so a lot of our defensive discourse has ofc been about how it IS okay for transfems to talk about eggs and be jokey about it and non-invasively approach others about being trans

but i swear to god none of these weird people have even stopped to make their discourse ABOUT anyone BUT transfems. it's so clearly targeted!!

no one has EVER approached *me* as a tme nb person and suggested i was pressuring gnc people with my egg jokes. never. nothing even remotely similar. i joke about other people being trans all the time and no one has ever treated me the way you all are treating transfems over this issue.

important note: my examples are all things I recall as being invasive and awkward, and I'm sharing them to make a point about how often rude behavior comes from the same tme people pointing fingers over this. but I still don't think any of them are worth the crucifixion people are treating transfem egg discourse with.

even when my friends were weird to me in the above examples, my reaction was either to confront them about it as friends who I trust to be able to communicate with, or to cut those individuals off after they proved not worth a relationship in the long run. at no time did I desire to make a call-out post or spread rumors about them or publicly declare all of their gender as a screeching menace to society.

my point here is that even when I do think about moments where others crossed a line, acting like this is a "issue trans women have" is blatantly transmisogynistic garbage that only exists to serve the woman-hating machine at the heart of our society. fucking cut it out

[girlintodust]

Not my usual content, i'm sorry, but there's something that's been making my blood boil and I haven't seen anyone talking about it.

The amount of DISGUSTING comments -90% of them made my grown fucking men- under Amandla Stenberg's last Instagram post after the Acolyte got cancelled is just sickening. They literally went out of their way to go to her Instagram to leave those mocking, derogatory comments even when that post is old, since Amandla's been taking a break from socials, and the fact that Manny's post made 4 hours ago has none of that speaks volumes of the blatant misogyny from the star wars community. None of them deserves hate in any way, but the way they are targeting her for being the lead as a black woman is something that's making me sick to my stomach.

That's the "fandom" Disney and Lucasfilm are catering to, white cishet misogynistic men.

[critical-velvet]

With this tweet, I do agree that you do get more flack for your creative decisions if you are part of a marginalized community. However, that doesn't mean that all criticism and hate is given to you because of your gender identity or sexuality.

Creators get criticism based on poor writing decisions, entitled behavior, or controversies, regardless of who you are. Creators like Seth Rogan, a straight white man, got plenty of hate and criticism for Santa's Inc and Sausage Party because of its poorly-written humor, offensive media, and the comments he made of it online. The same criticism applied to other cishet creators as well, such as John K, Chris Savino, Matt and Trey, and Seth MacFarlane, for either poor writing, overly edgy jokes, or even heavier controversies such as gr00ming and sexual harassment.

Rebecca, Dana, Vivzie, and Gooseworx, are all queer women in the animation industry. They all write cartoons that consist of queer, female-centric fantasy, which are bound to get endless love from fans and endless hate from homophobes and sexists. However, their work and lives as people are a lot different than Vivzie's, and they get less criticism for their work for a reason. Sure, there still are a fair share of bullies that hate to hate, but that isn't the same thing as people critiquing your work. I love SU, TADC, and TOH, but even I can acknowledge why it might not be for everyone. It's not going to be everyone's cup of tea. Heck, people are allowed to be fans of your series AND give it constructive criticism, too! Sometimes, even I go "I liked that idea! However, wouldn't it also be cool if they...". I do that with every series I enjoy sometimes, regardless of their stance as a creator.

These three can handle constructive criticism, strive to bring their creations to life, want to make their great works even better, and are kind to their fellow creators and fans who enjoy their work, even if they criticize it sometimes. Not to mention, they are all able to control their fandoms when they act out of line. Vivziepop, however, doesn't really do that.

She takes most criticism as hate, barely intervenes to stop fandom harassment and threats towards other fans or critics, bullies and throws away her closest friends, likes posts building herself up and putting others down, and writes her ideas out with either poor pacing, hypocritical humor, romanticization of abuse, and with underdeveloped ideas from a writing standpoint, with no drive to get better as a writer. It's more than just, "Let me write what I want!". It's about making your good ideas incredible. It's about succeeding at perfecting your premise, characters, and message.

Unlike Viv, they write their female characters with complexity and understanding, acknowledge fandom discourse with responsibility, are well-liked amongst their cast members and friends, discourage bullying and harassment, and continue to write well-received and adored cartoons. They have had their fair share of controversy, but they at least acknowledge, explain, and apologize for whatever they are accused of. None of their histories as a creator has ever been as toxic as Viv's. Even at 32, she still behaves as a passive-aggressive teenager who bullies people but still pretends to be a good friend to others.

Her works aren't awful, but I believe her shows' reputations would be a lot less tainted if she were a kind person with a good online image. She has all the right ideas. She just needs the assistance and development to execute them accordingly. Most importantly, she needs to learn how to redeem herself, too. Apologizing to her former workers is a start.

Yea I don’t have much else to add here, I agree with basically all of this.

It’s one thing to respond to criticism or even ignoring it if you think you know what you’re doing, but Viv just cannot ever let things go, every critique is like a personal attack on her character rather than a criticism of her show(s). She’d be better off ignoring all the criticism rather than reacting to it to be honest.

Your last statement I think I agree with most of all.

[frostops]

the other thing that bothers me about some trans women using their own bad experiences with egg jokes to justify acting like a trans woman joking about her own friend is evil is that none of them seem to care about how all the people whos issue with egg jokes is that it "harms" cis men are a much bigger obstacle to transfems coming out. you dont really need to imagine how the "every queer community needs a pet cishet guy" crowd would react to their "pet cishet guy" coming out as a trans woman. all of the tme people going out in droves to basically say "id hate it if someone i thought of as a cis man was actually a trans woman" are a way bigger danger to closeted and questioning trans girls than egg jokes. if you cared about making safe spaces for people to question their gender youd be just as mad at that pet cishet guy shit.

[dcdreamblog]

The All-Star Squadron included heroes who came from a wide array of professions, social/economic classes, regional cultures (which was a much bigger deal back then) and ethnic backgrounds. And while most of them were cishet white men, some of them weren't. Likewise, many of them held religious/philosophical beliefs other than "mainline" Protestantism. Now, they were all heroes, dedicated to the common goal of fighting for justice, and etc. so I have absolutely no doubt that all of them were able to get over any prejudices they may have had and do the job, but we are talking about people who were mostly white cishet American men who were born in the first half of the 20th Century; I cannot imagine that none of them had prejudices, and that these prejudices caused friction. Can we talk about that?

You're right and I wish I had better answers to give you. But a few factors keep me from offering up a lot of clear or worthwhile examples.

The Squadron's members were really opaque, and their actual thoughts came AFTER the war through Tarantula's book "Altered Egos". He's one of the few heroes where we have a distinct and purposefully kept war journal of his thoughts and the thoughts of some of his comrades during and after the war. Most of the other heroes were really concerned with their secret identities and didn't write these things down for posterity, especially not their own bigotries and stumbling blocks.

The War gave everybody an incentive to face front and close ranks. Public schisms in the Squadron's membership basically didn't happen and arguments that occurred behind closed doors stayed there.

The Squadron was, for its age, a deeply, RADICALLY liberal organization.

(A propaganda poster of Will Everett Sr, The Amazing Man, punching Hitler in the face. Circa 1943)

It accepted a black man into its ranks without a single public disagreement. From its FOUNDATION a large chunk of its membership were women. The Squadron even intervened in the Detroit Race Riots in 1943 where Amazing Man publically eviscerated an android supervillain calling himself "The Real American".

I could sit here until the sun came up rattling off all the times that Squadron teams or its individual members smashed pockets of the Klan or the American Nazi Party, or the German American Bund and then dragged their ass in front of the papers to call bigotry and intolerance UnAmerican and damaging to the war effort. The Young All Stars publically celebrated a Japanese American member during the era of internment.

Any bigotry in the organization was imposed upon it from the outside. The biggest example I can think of is that Wonder Woman spent the war years officially listed as the JSA's "secretary" because the Society's membership was more heavily scrutinized and it wasn't possible for her to take what was technically a military position in what was technically a combat role.

What stumbling we do have evidence for is very, VERY slight. The Sandman voices some homophobic opinions during a case that lead up to his confrontation with the Phantom of the Fair. But by the end of that case file we read about Dodds going through an active epiphany about homosexuality because of that case.

The widest spread "bigotry" that seemed to be present in the Squadron was patriarchal language directed at its female members who were always in a position to safely and openly give as good as they got. We have a collection here at the Perisphere that is JUST photos of Liberty Belle elbowing Johnny Quick in the ribs!

It sounds absurd. It sounds too good to be true. It SOUNDS like a lot of things. But there it is, in black and white.

If you want me to undercut your heroes from the past, I would for the sake of intellectual honesty. But I can't.

The JSA are the superhero community's North Star.

Not just because they were the first. But because they have always been like that.

The only time I have ever even heard a RUMOR of UNCLE SAM cursing is a couple years ago when the modern Ray came out as gay and people started talking bad about him online.

The modern Shining Knight started identifying as Bigender and Sir Justin has gotten into fist fights over it.

Please just. For your own sake. Believe in them, they are maybe the only figures I can't bring myself to mistrust these days.

[genderqueerdykes]

tired transmasc from earlier. My discomfort with those who believe in "transandrophobia" is not from self-hate nor from radfems. It’s from listening to transfems. And I don’t believe men or masculinity are bad at all!! I am in community with with men and mascs and with women + fems all the time. It’s just plain ignorant to say we don’t have male privilege and are actually oppressed for being men. We do have privilege. The whole "everyone is saying men are evil!!" thing sounds so much like incel behaviour it’s really off putting.

hello again! thanks for dropping by, let me see if i can help explain things better, and as to why it's not okay to put down other trans men and deny that they are experience oppression just because you, one person, believes they are not. dont take this personally, but much like gravity, you not believing in it doesn't mean it's not happening. it's happening, you're just refusing to acknowledge it. this is the equivalent of plugging one's ears and humming when someone else starts talking

i'm gonna call this behavior for what it is, because yourself & every other self-flagellating trans man & transmasc who says transandrophobia doesn't exist because it belittles trans women are just hurting people ON PURPOSE with a thin guise of saying "listen to trans women!!!!!" i really hope you understand that trans women can see through that. we can tell that you're doing this specifically to hurt people, not to give trans women a platform to stand on. you think you are telling people to listen to trans women, but what you are doing is SILENCING trans men & mascs in order to do that. you can't do that to your own gender. you're silencing yourself in the process. you're participating in transmasculine erasure and this is not a good thing. don't be proud of that. don't be proud of erasing the things your siblings go through.

I have to be really, really honest with you and tell you that this kissing up to trans women for brownie points stuff is really, really obvious and none of us like it. Like I'm not being mean. Please don't take this in a sarcastic tone. I am stock serious when I say that trans women & transfems can tell when you are doing things to pander to us to act like you care about transfems and transfemininity. We can tell this is desperate virtue signalling to not look transmisogynistic and nothing else. I'm serious. You are hating people on purpose with the guise of trying to help trans women. You do not have to silence someone else in order to let trans women talk and listen to them.

If you do not want transfems & trans women to be silenced: do not silence someone else. You do not solve this problem by silencing someone else. We solve the problem by listening to each other, not forcing the other to sit in silence while only one person talks. You don't solve the problem by doing that exact thing to someone else. You're creating a new problem.

privilege is a power structure, trans men do not suddenly shoot up from oppressed woman to neurotypical cishet white able bodied man in terms of status in society. i need people to get this into their heads that trans men do not and will not ever shoot directly up the privilege ladder and instantly become abusive and predator and holding power over all the other queers. like this is completely fabricated. you can stop believing that now, it's quite literally made up by trans/rad fems because they do not interact with trans men irl to see that they struggle.

trans men are not oppressed for being men: they're oppressed for being TRANS men. the trans part is what they're being oppressed for. do you not see transmascs and trans men as trans? because if so that is highly disturbing. and don't call that "regular transphobia" because that's not true and you know it isn't trans men and mascs are oppressed... for being TRANS men. seriously. you gotta stop focusing on "men bad" so hard that you literally forget that trans men are trans. back it up. like seriously i'm dead serious. back it up one step. before you focus on the "man" part, think about the "trans" part and how you're basically denying that trans men are trans because you are so wrapped up in radfem hate. TRANS men do not become cis men after they come out. they don't become cis men after transitioning. this, quite literally, is transandrophobia. what you said right there is an example of transandrophobia. sober up, you are not thinking clearly.

the thing is that we do not have male privilege wholesale as a group. that is a lie you have been told. you have to realize most trans men never gain any form of cishet male privilege. some trans men may pass well, but if the word gets out that they're trans, they are no longer respected or viewed as a man at all. especially if you're a man of color. trans men may have an amount of privilege depending on the situation, like being someone's manager, but it is not male privilege in every situation, nor is it anywhere near the privilege that cishet perisex white abled men have.

when we have this type of conversation, we are assuming that all trans men are 100% cis passing who will never be questioned. which happens, but that does not mean those trans men do not struggle. in fact, trans men like that suffer greatly in terms of reproductive care. cis passing trans men are often outright denied reproductive care, and some need that to live. some need to see a gynecologist for a variety of reasons, and being a cis passing man can shoot you in the foot. trans men struggle in health care almost universally. trans men are constantly misgendered in medical settings, and are very often treated as though they are cis women by medical staff no matter what. trans men and mascs are also very commonly assaulted by doctors and other medical professionals

most trans men do not get paid more at their jobs. trans men struggle to get promotions. trans men struggle to get employment in male dominated fields. most trans men still deal with homelessness, sexual assault, physical assault, domestic violence, addiction, misogyny and more. trans men deal with corrective rape. trans men deal with stalking. trans men do not magically have it better in society the second they come out. it creates a whole new host of problems

gaslighting strangers and telling them they're not being abused and oppressed isn't helping anyone. i'm serious. please stop this behavior because you are the one hurting people. care about trans men and mascs. you don't have to throw transmascs and trans men under the bus in order for trans women to be heard. we don't need to be pandered to like this. it's not flattering or helping anyone. you don't need to kiss up to people who literally hate your gender.

i need you to understand that people who talk like this hate transmascs and trans men. they don't like you. they don't care about you. leave those kinds of environments. you're going to regret it if you don't. if you're thinking about your oppression aaalllll day long its all you're ever gonna see and eventually, it's gonna crush you under its weight. be careful. that's dangerous thinking.

[drdemonprince]

How do you tell if someone is interested in you? In the past I've had a hard time telling if someone has been romantically interested in me, and it's only been in retrospect or when talking to mutuals or hearing it from the person that I've learned that they were interested in me, and perceived my reactions as disinterest. I've also occasionally interpreted behaviors as signs of interest incorrectly which has led to awkward situations and even loss of friendships.

Especially when it comes to friends, I just want to know how to ask if someone is interested in me or express interest in them without destroying the friendship. Obviously a hard situation so don't expect a magic solution but would be curious if you have advice!

There is no foolproof way to know if a person is attracted to you, which is why we have the power of overt communication.

Just check in with your own desires first, and then communicate about it! Are you interested in the person? That is reason enough to consider expressing your feelings, but doubly so if you have received some signals that suggest they like you. It's much better to clear the air than to spend months or years trying to decode messages and working yourself up into a lather over all the intrigue.

You can ask the person if they are interested in you, or you can ask them if they meant any particular gesture in a flirtatious way. I've had friends ask me that before, and even when the answer was no, we were fine! It's a cishet allistic nonsense myth that communicating openly about desire will "ruin" a friendship. What ruins a friendship is a tangled web of unspoken projections and longings forming beneath the surface for years without anybody feeling free to name what is happening.

Sitcoms be damned, you can literally just ask a person "is this a date" or "I've noticed you've been touching me on the arm a lot lately, are you flirting with me?" or "We have a really strong friendship chemistry, have you ever wanted something more?" or "I love our friendship and I'm so very happy with it, but I'd also like to pursue dating you, if you were into it." or the like. These are all perfectly fine things to say to a person, things that I've heard and responded to before or known friends to have said.

I have had many friends that I was attracted to, or who were attracted to me -- and none of us died from not getting to fuck one another, nor did any of us go crazy from unrequited desire. I've never felt creeped out by a friend being into me, and when they have brought this attraction up, I was relieved to be able to convey to them when I wasn't available or interested myself. Open communication meant they could stop wondering about it and I could stop worrying that I was somehow accidentally giving romantic signals off. I tend to be expressive and attentive to people I care about, and I don't want to have to reign that in or become artificially cold for fear of seeming flirtatious. It's better to just talk about.

And when i've had a burning desire for a friend who wasn't into me, all I've had to do is make sure I behave respectfully to them and don't expect anything out of the friendship and then made sure to keep my masturbating about the person a good distance away from the real human being themselves so they didn't have to ever think about it or know that it was happening. sometimes I've sustained close friendships for years while being really into a person who just wasn't into me, and I was able to separate the reality of them from my fantasies. More often than not, the attraction has ebbed and taken on far less urgency once it's no longer an open question and it's clear to me that it's not worth pursuing.

[velvetvexations]

As someone who identifies as what people might see as "contradictory" identities (referring to your bio where you refer to yourself as both male and a trans woman)

Do you ever feel like you just don't have the vocabulary to describe things to people? Like- I'm a trans man, that's how I identify to people, but in reality it's so so much more deeper than that. I dont REALLY feel like a guy half the time. I most definitely don't feel like a woman, I'd rather die than go back to that. Yet I still have a relationship with the "feminine". If that makes any sense.

Like if I could choose a color on the blue-to-pink binary scale, I'm Yellow.

None of this really matters though, because irl I get treated like a broken dyke or smth even though I've gone through surgery and I'm flat as fuck and have facial hair. I feel like people look at me and see that fucking cover from Irriversable Damage instead of what im trying to present to the world.

I don't want to be called any special pronouns, none of them feel right. Being seen as a guy is such a relief. Accessing feminine shit via masculinity is my comfort zone. But still.

I could go on. I guess I'm just wondering if you ever feel a loss for words like this, and if so, have you found a way to cope with it?

Sometimes.

I think as far as being a male woman goes, that gets most things across. I personally think of my own physicality in particular as male and woman being my gender. That's the most basic level.

There's more to it than that that's harder to express. I've talked a lot before about being a glitchy animatronic of a woman, a parody of womanhood, and how I associate a lot with images of heterosexual couples an singers of rock bands from the 2000s. I'm like a crossdressing faggot crossed with a sleezy cishet guy. Something that's really interesting is that many years ago when I first heard Alphabet Boy I somehow managed to relate to the titular asshole.

[risingchaos]

If I were to, somehow, ever write a Green Arrow run, here’s what it would be.

After he comes back from the island, perspective altered, and actually look at himself. I want it to be an introspection piece on his place in society.

I want to see Oliver come back from the island and put in the work. I want to see him do research, talk to people, self reflect. He is a presumably cishet white man raised in a high class life who benefited heavily from his parents being rich. I want to see him actually look at himself. You’re going to tell me his parents never paid off a cop for him? Arrow now repeatedly talks about how terrible and corrupt the police are, but I want to see him come to that conclusion properly.

I want him to get into fights with his rich friends. I want to see him stay quiet when he shouldn’t have and feel guilty for it. I want to see him have to put his foot down, and stand on his new morals, and be afraid of it. Having to decide who he can stay friends with, internal debates on if he should keep trying to educate them, if that’s his place, or if he should drop them because he doesn’t want to associate with people who drop slurs casually anymore. I want him to dislike that his eyes have been opened, and then wonder why he’s feeling like that, and hate himself for feeling like that.

I want Oliver to think of Arrow as a way to let himself talk freely and not think about the consequences it would bring in his real life. Some anonymous guy talking back to the cops is different from Oliver Queen talking back. I want him to be confused, and hypocritical, and not always stand up when he should in his everyday life, and wonder why he said nothing, and try to find that courage to leave a comfortable life that’s making him uncomfortable but it would be so much worse over there.

Oliver putting in the effort to change. Oliver not getting it right. Oliver being uncomfortable, and disliking himself, and changing his opinions repeatedly. Learn how to think for himself properly. Learn to listen to minority voices. Looking back on the way he’s behaved, wondering if he should reach out and apologize or let it die. Trying to swallow the fact that he can’t change his past behavior now that he’s a different person. Thinking about the podcasts he listened to, the media he consumed, the stuff he saw with friends that he never thought twice of. That none of them thought twice on. Having to sit with all of it.

I just want to have a run where Oliver doesn’t become him nearly overnight. That the island changed how he saw things, yes, but it didn’t make him an educated man. It just nudged him to seek the things available. I want him to deal with it. I don’t want it to be a sympathy poor me leaving my cushy life piece. I want it to be someone realizing how shitty he was, and putting in the time and work into becoming a better person because he doesn’t want to be an asshole anymore.

[bogkeep]

[in stars and time spoilers]

something i really really appreciate about the worldbuilding in ISAT is that being queer or trans or polyam is just, baked into the worldbuilding in a way that feels very natural and interesting and makes perfect sense for the setting. like don't get me wrong, all of these things ARE natural but the way *we* talk about these things in this world and our languages can often be very awkward to translate into the worldbuilding of a fantasy story - especially because a lot of the vocabulary and culture we have for queerness is as something that has been Othered, while cishet is the Default, and if you want a world where being trans is just a normal everyday thing you have to do a whole overhaul of how it's treated, right. it's tricky to make it feel natural!! though i DO think a lot of stories do it well, and ISAT is 10000% one of them. BUT HERE'S THE THING THAT'S FASCINATING. vaugarde is really chill with all this - but amatonormativity is still an issue. but the story *addresses* this!!!!!! which makes it a deliberate and super interesting part of the worldbuilding!!! you have the exposition about the bonding earrings (WHICH I THINK IS A FANTASTIC PIECE OF WORLDBUILDING) and sif pointing out that most vaugardians seem to be wearing earrings from a young age and wondering if maybe they're being primed to bond with someone early on. and of course mirabelle struggling with her faith, feeling perfectly comfortable with her aroace self but feeling pressured into dating. like i think the change religion rules and i LOVE that there's aspects of it that are Flawed, even for some of its most loyal followers. SO GOOD.

so here's what i really super appreciate - all the characters have very different relationships to romance. i love mirabelle with my whole heart, and i ALSO love that odile does experience romantic feelings and has just decided it's not a priority for her(!!!!!). isabeau is very clearly super romantic and into romance, and while he's definitely struggling a lot with the confession part - and it does get exceedingly heartbreaking as the loops go on - i do actually really like that he's like. you know what! the confession is not that important right now, you'r every clearly distraught, there will be time later (HERE'S WHERE I WOULD PUT A ""LATER""" IF I HAD ONE), my big romantic moment is *not* top priority. like none of these characters treat romance as the Most Important Thing in the world!!!! WILD!!!!!! i mean it's pretty clear that the focal relationship of the game is the found family, just like straight up spelled out for us, and i just... i think it's lovely. i love the romantic plot thread and i love that it's just one of many threads. (hear me out. hear me out............ queerplatonic mirabelle & siffrin..............) like this game chose to portray amatonormativity but the *game* is dismantling it. A TASTY MEAL FOR ME. GIVES THIS GAME A BIG STAMP OF AROACE APPROVAL