#this is saved on my computer as ‘Don’t talk to me or my brother ever again.’

[whisperwillyou]

If there’s one good thing Belos did, it was bringing us together.

Just. The most simblings ever. ;w;

I have a special place in my heart for Luz and Hunter both finding closure in their experiences with Belos because it all had to happen exactly the way it did, for them to meet and become family.

They’ve both experienced personal manipulation and trauma at the hands of Belos in the way that none of the others can fully relate to. But they find comfort in each other.

I hope we get to see Hunter and Luz stand together against Belos. The two people that he’s hurt personally, who struggle with the guilt of having helped him, giving each other the strength to face him. and then just behind them, all the friends and loved ones they’ve accrued, ready to protect and support them while Belos stands alone.

*gently holds Hunter and Luz in my hands* They’re so important to me.

[weirdmageddon]

i love these tags this person is so right

actually, can you imagine if dave was raised by B1 roxy?

i wanna get into this actually

(ok i had to spend a few hours rewriting this because IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE AFTER FIVE HOURS OF WRITING WHEN MY COMPUTER UPDATED WHILE I WAS AFK so it would mean a lot to show this post some appreciation. i LOVEEE hearing what other people have to say)

even though these things mom does are presented in an extravagant, kitsch, jokey way, her intentions always came from a place of sincerity. she is simply Funnie

but rose reads too far into it and assumes things that aren't there, that her mother is passive-aggressively feigning interest in rose's interests simply because the things she does are so extra. "why do all of this if not to mock me"

im telling you right now if dave lived in this household he wouldn't assume antagonism, he'd go,

don’t forget who LITERALLY patented tangible jpeg artifacts as their post-scratch adult self and scattered shitty scummed up statue of liberties all over the planet. theres no way some of that overboard artful shit wasnt post-ironic / circling back around to genuine funny sincerity

dave's natural state is funny sincerity like roxy. he's had the natural capacity for this type of humor from the start and this is the direction he goes towards when he grows out of his brother's shadow by the end of the comic. dave and roxy share an earnest “so bad its good” type of humor

(lots more under the cut; the length of this meta analysis just got unwieldly with all the pictures and whatnot)

despite the alcoholism, roxy is a supportive mother. she's not the ideal guardian but hells of a lot more supportive of her kid than bro is. if she knew dave's interests she would totally indulge in them with some over the top silly goofy haha shit as a genuine gesture simply because she loves him

rose isn't too keen on it though. but she is more similar to dirk in her natural state of thinking of overthinking shit and assuming the worst, like the tags said

and yes dave got the sweet cuddly yet sometimes backhanded ouppy gene from roxy, probably even moreso lol

roxy's even said rose "sounds like girl dirk"

side tangent here, but this is something i wanna talk about.

i dont think bro should ever be in custody of children ever but if theres anyone who would be up to the task it's rose probably. i know she'd be able to keep up with him. not only does she have a defined personality (dave is more malleable and absorbs his environment like a sponge), if anyone can pick apart B1 dirk's batshit brain and probably be right on the money it's her. lil cal has been pumping patriarchal nonsense into bro's head and rose would be able to bring the fucking facts to the table without losing her own and being a living example of a badass little girl. i also don't think bro would try to force masculine roles onto rose like he did with dave, seeing as she is a girl, so she would actually have more of a leg up and get some passes that dave was never afforded. and rose wouldn't stand idly and accept any bullshit; she is no doormat. and i think this would earn bro's respect

but anyway, from this, couldn't we conclude roxy "sounds like girl dave"?

yeah okay. we havent even gotten into their penchant for funny typos or misspeaks, deliberate or otherwise

so, dave's environment

the sentiment "god you hope you can be as good as your bro at this some day" might have been genuine at the time when he idolized bro but of course he's not able to express that in any sort of sincere fashion because he's in dirk's fucking household. and this level 10 irony shit isnt doing dave any favors

his role models were the Internet and a vague idea of what Bro was like. So he built up his facade based on irony–not the literary definition of irony, as Rose might be quick to point out, but a popular concept of irony based on the idea that things that didn’t make sense actually made sense in some roundabout way. As a master of irony, Dave probably reasoned, he could see in a way other people couldn’t why a world that was scary and didn’t make sense really did make sense, and could therefore convince those people that he was superior to them. And he would wield his knowledge to maintain the appearance of superiority by calling everything ironic and pretending he didn’t care about things that didn’t make sense, and he would use walls of vaguely rhyming words to keep everyone at arm’s length so they wouldn’t discover his insecurities (source)

roxy's style is the embodiment of post-irony. being raised by mom lalonde would be like being raised by joel vinesauce ok

what can i say ….. (getting meta about this actually, hussie got these jpeg wizard wallpapers from a spyware website. link takes some time to load because internet archive)

rose is quick to read post-irony as actually being a joke/insincere, which in bro's case would be true. but i believe dave's natural instinct, outside of the influence of bro, is to read post-irony as genuine, which is exactly how mom serves it. we see this as early as act 3 from him; he understands her motives better than rose does herself:

and in act 6 intermission 2 i think it's pretty clear

but the thing is, it's always genuine from her. dave wouldn't have to second guess it because he's not one to naturally second guess someone's sincerity; that was learned due to his bro being virtually unassailable

there two types of ironies at play here:

seems like a joke, is actually genuine (roxy)

doesnt seem like a joke, is actually a joke (dirk)

you can make the argument that the second is is more psychologically destructive because it makes you question the reality of what is genuine sentiment and what isn't. dave never knew what was genuine and what was irony so he just sort of existed in this sincerity-ironic limbo and always did the opposite of what he genuinely felt on principle even if it always did originate from a genuine place.

"it just a joke bro i was just being ironic i dont actually x" is so much more trust-breaking and psychologically damaging than "wait are you being serious" / "i am being so fucking fr rn davy gravy" / "ok thats actually pretty fucking awesome. giant ass wizard statue" / "RIGHT"

how much about dave would change do you think? his character arc would be completely different for one thing, i think he'd have it good aside from mom's alcohol issues. he'd be left with the sweet and funny parts of him that we see at the end of the comic. the fake coolguy stuff is out, but this remains. this is dave in his element and we see it as early as act 1

he'd probably have no shades growing up in the lalonde residence* either cause those were given to him by bro straight out of the crater as an extension of his own cool image. and john gave dave ben stiller’s aviators for his 13th birthday to replace them so he could “spread his wings”

dave said he was wearing them for the ironies but i kind of doubt it. maybe post-irony but there was some reacharound to it being genuine because dave never put those pointy anime shades on his face again.

*though... it’s kind of hard to imagine him without his shades at all? B2 dave still got stiller’s shades from stiller himself so maybe getting them is a universal constant. i can imagine mom getting him them as a birthday gift cause shes pretty wealthy and probably could buy it out in an auction. but also itd be cool if john still gave him it as a gift

dave is actually a lot more genuine and easy to read than he lets on even when grappling with his upbringing with B1 dirk (again, see this post). this can be seen all throughout he comic but a good example is the evolution of thoughts about his interest in the preserved dead things in his room:

if B1 roxy was dave's guardian he probably WOULD have pursued paleontology because she wouldve indulged him in it and probably find it cool and worthwhile to pursue, instead of allowing dave to flounder under ironic detachment, being poisoned by irony to the point of gaslighting himself into believing he doesnt actually believe he thinks this shit is cool. even if it was indulged in this such a way; a superficially kitsch and ironic appearing presentation, it comes from a genuine place and inspires genuine interest. just read the comments.

basically, i think if B1 roxy raised dave, their relationship would have a surface level appearance of being bizarre or over-the-top but they’d have an unsaid mutual understanding that it’s completely in earnest and just build on each other's funny and absurd gestures of affection. rather than seeing it as one-upping each other, it'd more like collaboration of some silly bullshit that you take a step back and look at full and just say, "fucking incredible"

speaking of paleontology, mom had the proto-ectobiology lab. maybe they'd be able to use the equipment to appearify paradox ghost imprints of the dead shit to create paradox clones of things from the cambrian era??? sounds like a fun mother son bonding activity. and theyd actually put the sciencey shit in the household to use

oh god i know exactly the kinds of music shed listen too also growing up as a teen in the 80s. she on that (post)-punk/art rock/new wave/new romantic mtv stuff. XTC shit fr. this is a B-52S HOUSEHOLD. maybe the associates for the campy melodramatic flair. so he gets to keep the record on his shirt cause he is an enjoyer of the shit in her vinyl collection. dave would still gravitate towards musical expression and music itself but of more variety outside of just rap, with an 80s-90s, even 70s flavor due to mom’s influence. see this for perhaps a glimpse. ​she probably visited new york city a lot for business trips and because the music scene was cool as hell around that time, imports came straight from jfk airport, she probably got in on that a bit and have remnants in the form of vinyls and cassettes. in this way she could be distributing void to dave (influencing him with forgotten / presently irrelevant music). now he can REALLY rave about bands none of his friends have heard of. “hey davy grvay watcha listenin to” (he holds up vinyl cover) “omg snakefinger”

btw dave lalonde would look like this to me

[bloodynereid]

Tinsel, Gold and Dragons

(modern au!)

pairings: rhaenyra targaryen x fem! reader, past rhaenyra x alicent

tw: kissing, alicent bashing, alcohol consumption, talk about hooking up, hatred of the holiday season??

description: You were wondering how the hell this family had so many attractive people. Rhaenyra’s brain was currently not computing, she was pretty sure this was called bisexual panic but it had never really happened to her in real life before.

a/n: hiii hope you enjoy this little fic i randomly wrote last night. i've been kind of missing just writing stuff that isn't requests so hopefully this is still ok haha. ALSO i'm 100% an alicent defender, she's the loml so just remember that a lot of this is from rhaenyra's pov and not my own thoughts about her character. anyways hope you enjoy this and happy holidays <3 (might write a part 2 at some point but who knows?)

Rhaenyra Targaryen never liked the holiday season. After her mother died things just got worse and the boring parties she was always subjected to only got more boring. The welcome reprieve of baking gingerbread in the kitchen with her mom was gone in seconds and now holidays just reminded her of everything she had lost.

This year’s party was going to be the worst one by a long shot. Rhaenyra had to deal with Alicent fucking Hightower - oh sorry Targaryen now… that was something she still hadn’t accepted. I mean how do you even cope when your best friend suddenly starts fucking your dad in secret, gets pregnant, marries him and then proceeds to act like she’s Virgin fucking Mary?

The answer is with a lot of scotch, stupid hookups and long hours studying. She was desperate to get her law degree so she could finally do something and it also meant she could start working at her uncle’s law firm.

Currently though she was stuck in her father’s house whilst her new toddler half-brother threw temper tantrums and broke anything in his vicinity.

It was Christmas Eve and Viserys had nearly decided to cancel the annual Christmas party, in favor of “family bonding” but Alicent had somehow convinced him to keep it on. Rhaenyra did not want to think about what she had done to convince him. She nearly gagged at the mere idea of it.

Smoothing out the material of the dark red dress with a slightly higher slit than what would be considered appropriate, Rhaenyra let out an audible sound of satisfaction. She looked fucking hot. Plus Alicent would freak when she saw it, perfect.

Once upon a time Alicent Hightower had been her best friend, and probably something more but now… all that Rhaenyra could muster up for her is a cold chill of utter hate and rage.

Rhaenyra was thrown out of her thoughts when her phone called out the familiar ringtone that belonged to her uncle.

“Daemon… you do know that people can text now don’t you?”

“Haha, you can call me old all you want but you might regret it when I don’t tell you how I’m about to save you tonight.”

“Please tell me you found a way to make them all die fiery deaths.”

“Nothing as dramatic as that but I assure you it’s still the perfect escape.”

“Are you going to leave me in suspense while I endure this torture or…”

“Fine, you spoiled princess. We’re having a little party at the firm and since you’re coming to work here soon…”

“You didn’t.”

“But I did.”

“Fuck off. You mean I can actually leave this party.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t already.”

“You’re my savior.”

“Knight in shining armor and all that. Just remember to get me a good present this year.”

“When do I ever disappoint you?”

“There is also another surprise waiting for you when you get here.”

“Daemon… what have you done?”

“Nothing. There’s just someone I think you should meet.”

“Oh God, maybe I won’t go.”

“You know you’re too desperate not to, plus she’s your age so you won’t have to deal with boring old men like me.”

“She’s a she?” 

Rhaenyra perked up, she hadn’t had a date in a while and ever since Alicent she hadn’t even tried to step her foot back into that pool. A string of meaningless hookups with men had done nothing to quell the heartbreak side of the whole situation. This would probably be good for her. 

“Yes. So I guess that means you’re coming?”

“Obviously.”

“Should I send a car over?”

“Don’t bother, I’ll just drive Syrax.” Syrax was a birthday present from Daemon, a beautiful and subtly gold car that drove like a dream.

“Ok, see you soon Nyra.”

“Bye, Uncle.”

Rhaenyra sped through the streets of King’s Landing in the comfortable leather seat of her car. The bright Christmas lights that adorned the shops made a bright smile appear on her face. She may hate the holidays but at least the lights and food were incredible.

She arrived at the tall building that held Caraxes, Daemon’s law firm and named after his first dog but no one needed to know that. She gave her name to the security guard before parking the car in one of the empty spaces.

Her red dress fluttered in the cold breeze as she waited for the elevator to open. The firm was located on the 60th floor, the penthouse. Rhaenyra always loved being up high so the height was never a problem. What was annoying was how long it took her to actually get up there.

When the elevator doors finally opened at the correct floor, loud Christmas music echoed through the floor and she could clearly hear cheers coming from the area close to Daemon’s office.

Since the secretary was nowhere to be seen, Rhaenyra walked the now familiar route towards her uncle’s office. Weaving through a variety of cubicles she found a large Christmas tree and a small bar had been set up outside her uncle’s office.

“NYRA!” A loud voice that corresponded to her uncle slurred out and his tall frame ambled towards her. Within moments she was suddenly caught in a warm embrace and she returned the hug with her smaller arms wrapping around his torso.

“When did you have time to get this drunk, uncle?” Rhaenyra asked when they finally parted.

“Oh you think this is drunk, darling. Don’t you remember me at that New Year’s-”

“Andddd I’m going to stop you right there. I still get trauma flashbacks.”

“I must say, you look absolutely stunning Nyra. I’m sure our dear Alicent flipped when she saw you.”

“You should have seen her face when I told her I was going to unfortunately not attend her party.” Rhaenyra and Daemon shared a laugh before Daemon spotted someone in the crowd and a smirk appeared on his face.

“Y/N! I have someone you should meet.” 

Rhaenyra followed Daemon’s line of sight and found the most beautiful woman she had probably ever seen. You were wearing a dark blue floor length dress which was held up with spaghetti straps. A pashmina scarf looped around your elbows and you had a smile on your face as you approached the two of them.

“You summoned me?” You asked when you finished weaving through the sea of people.

“Well yes, I wanted you to meet my niece. Rhaenyra this is Y/N, our newest and most promising associate.”

“Pleasure to meet you.” You said as you offered a hand to the stunning silver haired woman. You were wondering how the hell this family had so many attractive people. Rhaenyra’s brain was currently not computing, she was pretty sure this was called bisexual panic but it had never really happened to her in real life before.

“I-uh, nice to meet you too.” Rhaenyra stuttered out as she took Y/N’s hand and shook it.

“Well I’ll leave you two to it.” Daemon said with a conspiring tone in his voice before he disappeared into the crowd.

“So… Daemon’s been singing your merits all over the office for a while now so I think I have an unfair advantage here.”

“Oh God, what has he been saying?” Rhaenyra groaned out as she dramatically swept a hand over her hair.

“Nothing bad, I promise. You’re getting your law degree at The Citadel, right?”

“Yup.”

“How’s that? I was debating going there for a while but ended up going to Oxford instead.”

“It's hell but worth it, I hope.”

“I totally get that, Oxford was like medieval torture but I’m happy it landed me in this place.” You said as you swept a hand in the direction of the office space.

“Wait, how old are you?” Rhaenyra suddenly asked before her face contorted in embarrassment. “Shit, that was rude, sorry.”

“Ha don’t worry, I get that all the time. I’m 25.”

“24.” Rhaenyra offered back in solidarity.

“We’re basically the same age then.” You said with a wink before you took a sip of the amber liquid in the glass tumbler.

“Probably why Daemon shoved us in this little corner together.”

“I’m for one glad to be stuck in this little corner with you.” You said as you smirked in Rhaenyra’s direction. A light blush started to dust Rhaenyra’s cheeks.

“I’m glad too, but I’m desperate for a drink. This week has been hell.”

“You don’t like the holidays either?”

“Hate them.”

“We have something else in common after all.”

You spent the rest of the party sitting next to Rhaenyra in Daemon’s office. You drank sparingly, not wanting to be drunk since Rhaenyra needed to drive back and you didn’t want to act like a fool in front of her.

Rhaenyra felt like this was the first time in years that she felt truly happy. It was nice just to talk and gossip and be free to actually be herself. With Alicent it felt like she was walking on eggshells before the incident and now it was near impossible to be in the same room alone with her. But with Y/N…

At first, Rhaenyra went into this wanting just to have a quick hookup but those hours spent talking or maybe it was the alcohol that got to her head but she decided she deserved something better. She deserved someone better.

“Do you need a ride home?” Rhaenyra asked when people started to mill out of the party. Y/N turned to her in surprise before a gentle smile lit up her face.

“It wouldn’t be any trouble?”

“Not at all, but don’t think this is some kind of selfless act - maybe I just want to spend more time with you.”

“Well, we just have to indulge in your selfish desires don’t we?” You said with a twinkle in your eyes and a laugh on your tongue.

“You have no idea the scope of my selfish desires.”

“I would like to find out…”

Rhaenyra basically dragged you down to her car after that little remark. As she drove through the streets of King’s Landing, you took a leap of blind faith (or maybe love) by gripping the hand that lay between the two of you. Rhaenyra instantly threaded her fingers through yours and you spied a small smile making its way to her face.

Once she pulled up in front of your apartment building Rhaenyra bit her lip and turned to look at you - still completely in awe of how pretty you are.

“We arrived.”

“That we did.”

“Well…”

“Well… do you uh-”

“Do I what?” Rhaenyra said as she wiggled her eyebrows.

“Rhae… I- do you want to come up?”

“Only if we can have a date tomorrow.”

“It’s Christmas Day.”

“I’ll think of something.”

“Hmm… deal.” You said as a giddy smile graced your lips. Suddenly the feeling of soft lips meeting against yours startled you out of your reverie and you jumped to thread your fingers through her silky hair.

“You are so beautiful.” Rhaenyra mumbled against your lips before slipping her tongue to delicately stroke yours. It seemed impossible that your smile could widen even more but it did.

“Mmm, says you. You fucking goddess.” You said when you both finally pulled away. Panting and grinning like idiots.

“This is certainly turning out to be a very merry Christmas.”

“Ho ho ho.”

rhaenyra is an bisexual icon just like her uncle and we love her for it !!

[abberant-butler]

Again. You wake up in your bed.

___ 1/2 I started this, my room flooded. I took a week off because all my stuff was in the living room. I set up my computer, worked on this, the dishwasher leaked and the pipe that flooded my room burst again when I got back from fixing a flat tire. I feel like an OBM truther with an active hit or something (/joking, very joking). Anyway, here's the first half of a Timeloop MC. The second half will happen... eventually. I'm very invested but and life and computer access keep testing me. lol ___

Waking up in your bed wasn’t the surprise. For now, there was a moment of hope. Had you done it? Had you managed to escape? Your feet hit the cold stone floor and you know that you shouldn’t get ahead of yourself. Yet. Belphegor wasn’t at breakfast. The drop in your mood is noted, but no one yet knows you well enough to ask. So that night, you travel up the stairs, standing at an arm's length.

Belphegor berates you for trusting him. You remember that it used to break your heart to hear him talk to you like that. Now, it’s just easier to get it over with.

Again.

You wake up in your bed.

Leviathan was angry that you thought you might have answers he didn’t. Enraged that, in the end, you did. Blinded by his passion and envy, he hadn’t even connected the dots of sharing space with his favorite author. In your confidence, this time, you push him past the edge.

Mammon wasn’t quick enough to save you. Yet if you’d let Levi win, he would have killed you anyway. It was something you’d already tried. Just as you’d tried this. Over, and over.

Again.

You wake up in your bed.

You’ve never lied to Asmodeus. You know his powers don’t work on you, but on one of the tries, you just let him think it does. Naturally you tell him the truth at every moment, yet in his own paranoia, he pulls out your heart- just to be sure. It’s strange to hear how quiet your body is without that heart. Without a pulse. The first time was horrible. Now, at least, you can appreciate the swiftness and the expensive perfume as you pitch forward into his arms.

You’re not sure if his brothers ever forgive him entirely, or if the exchange program goes on. It’s not like you’re someone as important as Solomon. Sometimes you think that his end is your favorite, because it’s always out of love. Twisted, scorned, strange love.

Again.

You wake up in your bed.

It’s getting old. You’re learning. Don’t be surprised by the way that Diavolo greets you. His butler is watching. Accept your place and stand up to Mammon, because he needs to know that you’ll fight. He needs to know that he’ll have a chance to get to you, when you need him, even if you already know he won’t be. 

This time, when Lucifer tells you to guard the fridge at night from Beelzebub, you fail. Everyone is asleep. There wasn’t anything you could really expect them to do. It’s part of your internal debate on whether or not they even find evidence of your fate, or just fill out the paperwork to report you missing. Again. You wake up in your bed.

Satan offers you his pact. You know it’s reactionary… … You also know there’s no ‘right’ answer. If you accept, he’ll resent you for acting on his moment of weakness. If you reject, he’ll find your rebuff a personal affront to his importance. He’s angry beyond logic, beyond reason, but this time you try once more. There has to be a way out of this. In other tries, Satan is your friend. He shares his mystery books and his academic skills to try and help. It never works, but there has to be a way.

At least, like Asmo, his fury makes your end swift. Unlike Asmo, his rage doesn’t stop when your heart does. You imagine he goes on to destroy the rest of the house, the way you’re told he did when he was young. Again. You wake up in your bed.

Lucifer looms over you in the crypt, furious at your discovery with his brother and Luke. You can’t even blame him. It’s an invasion of privacy that you hadn’t even considered in context. Yet. You can’t bring yourself to really be upset, either. This only adds to his fury.

“Do you actually think I’m going to allow a lowly human that choice?! THAT YOU CAN HAVE WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANT?!”

No.

No, Lucifer, you never offer a choice.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Numbness is the only thing you can feel. There are no more unexpected turns. There are no more arguments that you’ve muttered to yourself for hours or days just to use them on the next try. Death is always the result, and it’s the only way that you can have a moment of peace. Otherwise it’s yelling or bickering or life threatening situations. Mammon tries, he always tries. You’ll forgive him every time for his greed, because it’s the only thing that’s never killed you.

You wake up in your bed.

You wake up in your bed.

You wake up in your bed.

It doesn’t matter if you roll over and sleep in or if you tear apart every piece of fabric that you can twist your fists into. It doesn’t matter. It always ends, it always begins again. It goes. Over and over. The only metric that you can measure by is how it will make you feel in that moment. Today, you are just… tired.

It’s old. It’s ancient. You’ve learned. Don’t be surprised by the way that Diavolo greets you. His butler is watching. Accept your place-... The butler is watching. Has he always looked so sad?

This time, when Lucifer tells you to guard the fridge that night from Beelzebub, you know that if you do not get out of bed, the wall will collapse in on you. It will be because Beel finds his pudding missing. Suffocation is the worst death, so you pull yourself from the warm blankets to head around the corner to at least find something swifter than asphyxiation.

The butler is there.

He has brought a feast.

It’s the first surprise you can remember feeling.

Beel eats what has been brought from the castle, and goes to bed. You stand, in disbelief, with your hands in hot water as you help wash the dishes. The Demon Prince’s servant is gone shortly after. He hasn’t said a word.

You slip back under your covers, the sheets still slightly warm from your earlier presence.

You wake up in your bed.

Again… 

You suppose. 

The new day feels different. Yet the same. 

[snarky-magpie]

Thanks to @curly-chip for tagging me!

Tagging (if you want to, no pressure - post a snippet of the fic you're currently working on without context.) @starlightvld @aboutnavi @courfee

Reg: Hey.

James: Oh god are you dying? Should I call an ambulance? Are you being chased? Threatened? Is there an intruder in your house? Should I call the police?

Reg: No. Why?

James: You contacted me first. Thought something terrible must’ve happened.

Reg: Haha. I’m in stitches.

James: But not literally?

Reg: No, hale as ever.

Reg: Just. Needed to get stuff off my chest.

Reg: And to my horror, I realised the person I wanted to talk the most was you.

James: I’m honoured.

Reg: Don’t be. It’s the anonymity. It simplifies things. But. Your undiluted goodness has the ability to make me feel better and I’m not above using that to my advantage. So. Do your thing. Cheer me up.

James: I’m feeling flattered? Also, a little used. But I’m here for you anyway, Reggie <3

James: What’s wrong?

Reg: Do you have siblings?

James: No, an only child. Shame on you, honestly. A dedicated fan would know that.

Reg: Never said I was dedicated. But you’re right, I probably came across the information. And even if I didn’t, you have that spoiled only child aura. Fuck, I’m off kilter today.

James: Hey. I resent that. I’ve got a well-adjusted adored aura.

James: Using my supreme deduction skills, I pieced together this has something to do with your brother. The traitor.

Reg: When did I call him that?

James: Two days ago when you volunteered to share something about your family for the first time.

Reg: Do you take notes on me? Do you have a tiny diary or a computer folder titled Reg where you save every random piece of my babbling to pull out whenever it suits you to show off?

James: No. I’ve been blessed with terrific recall. Especially where the people I care about are concerned.

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

Angst/Depressing/Death(?)

Penelope's Brother Reader x The gang (platonic)

Reader has been struggling with major paranoia ever since he received a letter from an anonymous source stating that his sister would be killed if he didn't work on a case by himself to save the anonymous source from a mob of crazy murderers and contains all the details about Penelope's address. This source turns out to be the unsub that the FBI are working on capturing and the "mob" is the gang. Reader doesn't realise it until its too late. He's standing in front of the gang, protecting the unsub knowing that if the unsub dies or betrayed, a bomb that is in Penelope's office will go off. He has a hard choice to make: save his sister and kill the gang, or betray the unsub and kill his sister

(You can choose how it plays out. Does the reader die? Does the bomb go off? Does Penelope get injured and reader try killing himself for it? Though I would prefer Penelope to be alive. Ain't no one killing dat baddass gal)

I tried my best with this, but I'm not sure how I feel about what I've written lol

Warnings: threats, guns, explosives, gun shot wound, explosion

Word count: 1482

The letter had sat on your keyboard when you walked to your desk in the morning. You opened it, thinking nothing of it. Until various photo of Penelope had fallen out and then you read the letter. Read the threat against your sister's life and the warnings issued out to you. That if you told anyone, he'd kill her, with strict instructions to meet him at a warehouse today at 1pm. You stuffed the letter into your pocket and looked around cautiously. The five minutes it took Penelope to come in that morning felt like an eternity.

When she did it felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. Penelope gives you a curious look as she begins to head to her Bat Cave, “Wait!” When Penelope looks at you, you give a grin, “Why don’t you work out here today?”

“Because all my computers are in my office?” Penelope answered, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“You’re acting weird.”

“Nah, everything’s all good,” You answer with a shrug, “Oh, hey, I misplaced my hard drive, can you show me how to access the camera’s in here so I can find where I put it?”

She gives you a strange look before

“Right, now I need to go set up my office,”

“But-”

“Never mind,” She sighed, “We have a case.” You breathed a sigh of relief, she wouldn’t go in her office just yet. Maybe you could sneak in and check it before she went in. She went into the round table room whilst you waited in the bullpen, sending the team into the round table room as they walked in.

With everyone now in, you made your way into the room as Penelope began to explain the case. The case was local, no jet needed. You treat the case as normal, telling Penelope to avoid spots she usually goes to, take different routes, work from the briefing room, anything out of the ordinary in hopes it’ll keep her safe. Penelope looks at you like you’ve grown a second head but just nods.

“Sir, can I talk to you?” You furrow your eyebrows as Penelope approaches Hotch.

“Pen, everything okay?” You ask, your anxiety bleeding through your voice.

She gives you a smile and a wink, “Always baby brother,”

When she’s out of your vision, you can’t help but be anxious, you know logically she’s safe with Hotch but you can’t help the worry.

“There’s something going on with (Y/N),” Penelope sighs, “It’s like he’s paranoid,”

Hotch furrows his eyebrows, “Do you have any idea what might be bringing this on?”

Penelope shakes her head, “I have no idea.” She replies, “He’s telling me to change my routine, go to different coffee shops, use different routes, things like that.”

“Have you talked to him about it?”

“He says nothing’s wrong.” Hotch pauses for a moment before nodding.

“Alright, I’ll check in on him,” Hotch says, Penelope nods, thanking him before leaving the room.

When you see Penelope leaving the room, you look at your computer scene, acting like you haven’t been watching them to make sure everything was okay.

“Oh, did you manage to find your USB?” Penelope asked as she approached you.

“What? Oh! Yeah,” You give an unconvincing smile as you turned back to the screen.

When the time rolls around, you take your lunch break, making your way to the destination. Looking back on it now, you kicked yourself. It really should have been obvious. But you didn’t make the connection until you’re standing in front of the man who sent the letter, he gives you a smirk and it clicks. You realise it’s the unsub. You close your eye as you sigh deeply, your head whips round when you hear the door open and multiple footsteps. The gang that was trying to kill him, you stand in front of him, protecting him (and finding yourself in disbelief that you’re actually protecting this monster). And then to make it worse, the team filter in. And now, you’re stood in front of the unsub, two groups aiming their guns in your direction: the team, and the gang the unsub had pissed off.

"(Y/N), come on man," Derek started, "We don’t know what’s going on but just put the gun down and step out of the way."

Not taking your eyes off the gang, you shake your head, "No, no. You don't understand, I can't."

The teak watch the unsub in confusion as he slowly starts to smirk. "What don't we understand?" Hotch asks.

The unsubs breath tickles your throat as he whispers, "If you tell them, I'll set it off now."

"I-Its complicated," You try. "I can't tell you."

"Why can't you tell us?" Spencer asks.

"I-" You don't finish, not knowing what to say.

"Because I'll kill her," The unsub behind you chimes in and panic shoots through your stomach.

"Who?" Morgan asks.

"What was her name?" The unsub sighs, "Oh, that's it! Penelope Garcia."

You watch as the team go rigid, you know you're going to get a Lecture From Hell when you see Hotch's facial expression. You knew you should have told someone, you knew you should have reported it immediately. But common sense goes out the window the minute someone threatens your sister. What were you supposed to do? Just risk her life like that? No. You kept it quiet, begged her not to use her office, to stay at your place, anything and everything you could think of. You made her go to different coffeeshops, change her routine, you drove her into work. Anything you could think of.

"(Y/N), I need you to put the gun down and step away from him. Now." Hotch's voice is clear, unwavering.

You shake your head. No. You weren't going to risk her like that. If they wanted you to move, they'd have to shoot you. "I won't give you the codes to save her," The unsub taunts in your ear. "You know I'm not playing around here, (Y/N), use your brain."

"Hotch, I'm not risking it."

"(Y/N), we've profiled this guy," Morgan said, "We know he's not the type to do something like this."

"I'm not risking her, Morgan!" You snap, your eyes flicking to Morgan for a moment before turning back to the ground of men in front of you. Your finger moved a centimetre closer to the trigger as the man at the front twitched.

"Don't be stupid," Rossi chimed.

"Remember what the letter said, Agent," The Unsub mocks quietly, "You have to kill them for her to live."

You close your eyes, trying to calm yourself down. You didn't want to be here. You wanted to be at the office, making sure Penelope was as far away from her Bat Cave as possible.

When you open your eyes, the leader of the gang shifts forward slightly. You're struggling to think, hearing the team ordering you to drop the gun, the unsub whispering to kill him or let your sister be killed. Its all too much and your finger inches closer to the trigger.

Hotch makes a decision, he aims for your arm and shoots. The moment you stumble to the side from impact, the gang leader has shot the unsub. He's now on the floor next to you, blood soaking through your clothes. Your hand covering the wound you ignore the pain and scramble up.

"No, no, no, no, no," You mutter, watching as he stops breathing. "Oh god..." You look up, meeting eyes with the man that shot him. "You got her killed. You got her fucking killed!" You're stumbling forward, unaware of your actions, and Morgan's head pops into view. It takes a moment to realise he's stopping you from getting to the man, when it does, you struggle. Unfortunately, you are no match for Derek Morgan when it comes to strength and he easily pushes you back and out of the room.

Half an hour later, you're stitched up and are all heading back to the office, you know you're going to get a minimum of 3 hours of lectures but you can't bring yourself to care. Your only thoughts on Penelope.

You get there as the bomb team arrive (which you find weird because surely they should arrive faster if its an FBI building?), but you don't question it. Instead, you convince your way into the office, to make sure everything is okay. Everything has to be okay. Penelope was okay, you knew that much. You had made Derek stay with her. She'd be okay with Derek with her.

Half an hour later, you breathed a sigh of relief, they had stopped the clock. It was disarmed. You let your shoulders relax, making your way out of the room to let the team know. Hearing a click, you furrowed your eyebrows, turning around, before everything went black.

[sharkneto]

Any WIP's you wanna share? 🔫

Man, always, but I also feel like I'm running low on WIPs to share lol. it's hard to keep track of what's already been shared. What to pick from, tho, what to pick from...

Have a snip from this fic that's just been sitting on my computer for too long. It's technically done, idk why I haven't posted it. Fits in with not alone series, Allison finds Five in a low moment:

There’s one of Five’s problems, right there, Allison thinks. Another one they don’t know how to fix. “What about you?”

“What about me?” he repeats back dully, tucking himself tighter into his ball.

“What about your happy ending?”

He doesn’t respond for a long time. They watch another delivery at the florist on the corner. She thinks he’s just not when he mumbles, “This is it, isn’t it? My good ending.”

Allison tightens her grip on his foot. He doesn’t react to it.

“Really,” he adds, almost to himself, “what do I have to complain about? Got everything I wanted. Well, five-sixths of what I wanted. That’s pretty good.”

Her heart aches for Ben, too. She wonders how that grief, now dull and familiar after all these years, would twist if she technically had the ability to save him but still couldn’t. Five is Five, so he must have tried; the fact that they don’t have Ben means there’s something that stopped him. She won’t ask. “You did really good, Five.”

He hums absently. “Never said I didn’t. Could have done better, though.” He glances at her, an eyebrow raised in a sad mockery of playful. “’Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.’”

It’s times like this where it really slaps her in the face that her brother truly is a fifty-eight-year-old man trapped as a thirteen-year-old. The weight to his gaze around how he’s trying to lighten the mood for her is extraordinary. That did sound like a quote, though, the cadence he said it with. “Is that from something?”

Five shrugs. “Something or other. I only found the one page of it. Some play. It was at a point where most other paper had disintegrated if I hadn’t saved it, so it was an interesting find. Stuck with me.”

“It’s a good quote,” she offers.

The corner of his mouth twitches up. “It does sound rather profound. Which means it’s probably the only good line from the worst play that no one ever saw. That’s my luck.”

Allison smiles with him, although it cuts her a little bit.

Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.

She looks back outside.

“You don’t usually talk about this stuff,” she says after a beat.

He sighs. “And I shouldn’t. You don’t need to deal with any of it and here I am dumping it on you. Guess you caught me at the wrong time.”

“Or the right time. I’m always happy to listen, Five.”

He gives her a flat look. “Nothing about this is happy.”

“You know what I mean. I’d rather you weren’t stewing in it by yourself. We want to help.”

“The whole point of everything was you wouldn’t have to. I’m fine, Allison. Really. Turns out I’m just a tired and maudlin old man. Who could have seen that coming.”

Allison rubs her thumb over the top of his foot. He still hasn’t pulled it away from her so it must be ok. His word choice gives her pause. “You haven’t been drinking, right?”

Another flat look. “Three, it’s two in the afternoon.”

The not yet goes unspoken but she hears it. “Touché,” she says anyway, her heart thumping funny at him calling her by her number. It’s something he’d done when they were kids, too; they’d had real names by the time they were nine but Five, as the lone number left, was the only one still allowed to use the numbers. He did rarely, when particularly irritated or – in truly rare instances – particularly affectionate.

It's something she’d forgotten. Another piece of him, still there.

[drkineildwicks]

Kineil Plays: Hogwarts Legacy - 2/7/23 - Pre-game prep

So I got up early to get everything done before playing, including downloading the game

Space required is 72.92 GB this should be good

“estimation 3 hours” – this reminds me did I ever download ARK?

Also considering my internet server tends to have a fit when I do big downloads...this should take a while (never use Breezeline nee Atlantic Broadband they suck)

Skimming through the license agreement and I love how positive the “in the unlikely event of a problem with your game” language is

Like yeah it might go blooey but we hope not

Also seizure warnings which is probably a standard warning for games but in thinking of how the spell are animated in the movies I can understand this particular bit of cover our ascots language

And I understand that there’s also some sort of anti-piracy thing…Denuvo, which a lot of people are leery about and I can’t say I blame them

EA Games, which Warner Brother used to license to (which is also the reason you’re never going to see a rerelease of the early HP games, too many legal tangles) had some sort of anti-piracy thing too, but in EA’s case (especially with Spore)…you only had so many installs, so if you got a new computer or lost your old save file because of a virus or something you were SOL and needed to buy an entirely new copy

Since games generally go for $60 a pop, people were understandably upset

And real talk, if this Denuvo does something like that to me because I keep all my save files on an external drive, I will be first in line for whatever mod patch cracks it

I get why they might want an anti-piracy thing in place, especially for this game all things considered, not to mention the current mindset a lot of people seem to have about not paying for services rendered (which is especially something that plagues any aspect of the arts and entertainment industries), but there’s a big fat line between covering your bases and alienating your audience that’s got to be considered

I feel like part of the blame can be attributed to the death of rental stores, tbh, since now people can’t test out games first to see if they’ll like them or not

Anywho my intent with this review series is to go through an entire playthrough from start to finish, maybe later on I’ll try to do it through the other houses because my understanding is that there’s unique story beats for every single Hogwarts house so that’s cool

Now to make sure I actually finish the playthrough because I have the habit of really enjoying a game and then never finishing it

Which is apparently a recent development because I used to be good at finishing and replaying games

Part don’t want the experience to end and part been burned too many times by modern games (glare at Pokémon’s post-game, or lack thereof).  “Replayability?  What’s that???  Only CONSUME”

While we’re talking about mindsets to get out of, the whole treat everything as disposable, replaceable, and transient really needs to be disposed, replaced, and transitioned out of

Okay it’s still going along so I’ll go finish everything else I need to do so I can play guilt-free

Was going to cook dinner tonight but Mom knows how much I’ve been looking forward to this game so she proposed leftovers instead and I’m okay with that

So…*final Jeopardy theme*

[winderlylandchime]

Hello, how are you? Hope you’re doing well and that your weekend is/was great. I am here to let you all know that qaf has officially ruined our entire family. While I have been keeping my cousins, my aunt and occasionally my uncle and parents updated on how my brother is watching the show and it’s been keeping us entertained (some of us more than the others). It has finally come to the point where my mom sent me a looooong text message, asking me to take him out since he can leave the house now so that he can (and i quote) ‘get away from the tv gays ruining his life because he needs to be around real people since the world doesn’t revolve around this show’ Basically she asked me to force him to touch some grass. So I did. I asked my neighbor to come with us and we went out to a bar that was having like a throwback night or something (we went bc the songs were old and good) and we hung out and he actually behaved like a functional adult. He even left his Team Brian shirt at home and was talking about random shit and not once did he mention qaf. He was only upset on the car ride there like a little kid but he quickly recovered. And then of course it had to happen, because why wouldn’t it? We were sitting at our table (and i wanna say they have a dj but it was more just a dude with a computer and a playlist and he was killing it) and we were talking and laughing and then as my brother is talking, he just kinda starts almost like glitching, like half talking but he’s clearly distracted and he’s looking off into the distance and my neighbor asks him if he’s okay and he lifts his finger up to shush us and then he goes ‘it’s the song..listen..’ and we’re listening to it and neither of us recognize it so i ask him what song is it? And he goes ‘its the song from prom’ and my neighbor is trying to mess with him so she looks at him and goes ‘Wow cant believe you remember your prom’ and this dude looks at her all annoyed and goes ‘no, not my prom, it’s the song from Justin’s prom’ HE SAID THAT AS IF ITS HIS KID HES TALKING ABOUT. Like Justin is a person that is present in all of our lives and she’s an idiot for not knowing this simple fact. And now I’m confused because i don’t recognize the song! So I’m like ‘no, youre wrong, that song is save the last dance’. And this fucker goes ‘nooooo, this us the song that played when Brian walks in. Before they dance.’ Guys, it was Faded by SoulDecision. I checked when we got home, the song played for just enough seconds for shazam to pick it up. Probably less than 20 seconds. I mean he did watch the episode few days ago and he has the song on his playlist BUT the bar was LOUD AS FUCK with people. We weren’t sitting anywhere near the speaker so it even took me a second to hear the beat/melody of the song and this moron heard it from a distance and recognized it because Brian fucking Kinney walked into a scene while the song was playing. I feel like i am being beaten at my own game.

I am surprised that afterwards he didn’t do anything dumb or embarrassing ngl. But that alone made me realize that he is a lost cause forever now. I’m kinda proud ngl. But yeah, this weekend he was literally forced to touch grass, so to speak and even then qaf found a way into his life.

Your mom said he needs to touch grass. Oh my god. (The world doesn’t revolve around this show? News to me!)

And then they played the random song from prom at the bar. The universe is sending your brother a message! I’m dyinggggg. I remember one of the first fics I ever read in qaf, which was written before shazam, where the author could not figure out what that damn song was. And your brother is recognizing it in a busy bar.

He may not know it yet, but he’s a tumblrina!

[solesommerso]

This is just a post abt me dissecting Street for a moment

(This turned into me rambling about shit that happens to streets character so don’t feel obligated to read or anything)

~

Alright let’s start from the very beginning, back when he was in the house with his mom and dad. We learn from the flashback in season 1 that his father drank and his mother was the one to comfort Street after he got hurt.

I think that’s partly why it’s so important to him that he “saves” Karen, yeah yeah this is obvious, but I don’t think people account for how fast Street had to grow up and how that would affect things. He was 12 when his dad died, watched him bleed out, heard his mother beg him to lie to the cops and when he didn’t, he watched her get pulled away in handcuffs while Buck tried to distract him.

Then he was thrown into the foster system which we learn wasn’t easy for him from the Nate storyline, Street tells Deacon a story about how Nate taught him how to throw a punch (meaning he couldn’t even try to fight back with his dad) because other kids saw him as weak/scrawny so they picked on him. Then that foster mother died so Street got moved, there’s not a set number of times that Street states he got moved from house to house but I’m gonna guess it was quite a lot. As much as it sucks, there’s a lot of foster homes that don’t want a teenage boy with a history of getting beat up from other kids then eventually fighting back. It couldn’t have given him the best odds. So he just never had a place. Y’know a place for him.

We know from the episode where Buck tries to hurt himself that Karen doesn’t call on all of his birthdays and the only person that does is Buck. We honestly don’t ever hear about streets birthday other than that, and okay sure we don’t hear about most birthdays aside from Chris’s, but it makes me wonder if Buck still calls even after his attempt. It was obvious he was pretty checked out so he could’ve very well forgot, not that I’m putting any blame on Bucks character, I just wish we could see more of him and Streets relationship or at least how it affects Street.

When Street first joins the team Buck tells Hondo that he’s been trying “to help the kid” and “maybe you’ll have better luck” then we get the breakdown of Streets files about how he bounced from unit to unit in Long Beach and worked a lot of undercover. That honestly gives us so much.

He got moved from unit to unit, much like back when he was a child in the foster system. Just not finding where he fit and being more or less outcasted as reckless/impulsive.

I’m going to put in my own personal opinion that Street likes undercover so much because he doesn’t have to be himself. Yet he can also do everything on his own, undercover he doesn’t need to call people or work with a partner, it’s just him and some random identity. He gets put up in a hotel or a undercover apartment where he’s on his own, not even supposed to call the friends that he may have had in Long Beach.

Which brings me to his point, his friends/family that aren’t the team. There’s that tech savvy girl he’s been friends with for apparently a long time (she’s in the episode Hondo gets deepfaked) because they talk about how she was hacking/doing illegal shit on her computer until Street got her a job for the Long Beach police force that eventually fell through when the hiring requirements raised. And why would Street know that type of person in the first place?? Maybe it’s because he’s really tech savvy, which we see throughout all seasons, but I think it can lead to him more so being friends with “weird” people. It’s not a bad thing but it is different than how we see Hondo or Luca grow up. Street wasn’t the popular jock that they were.

Now the only other person I consider a good part of Streets life that isn’t the team, is Nate. My beloved Nate. He was Streets older brother, his protector in more ways than one. I am still upset that we never got to see flashbacks of the two of them as teens or at least had more screen time of Nate that wasn’t so ducking depressing. And oh my god Street finding him dead is so fucking important to Streets character.

He finds his brother shot in a bathtub then calls Hondo and tells him he’ll finish the case, for Nate. Which they end up doing with Nate’s help since he left things for Street before he died, but I never seem to forget what Street did when the bust didn’t work and Nate was dead. That drive he took, going to the bar Nate worked at and breaking a guys arm, for the second time, to get to the person responsible for Nate’s death, then driving to said person and admitting to Hondo that he was about to shoot that guy no mercy. But he didn’t. He talks about caring about the team and loving Molly as they’re still together at that point. He says his hands shook while he was undercover and the only reason it happened was because somebody brought up Molly.

he says he never gets shaky or breaks when undercover, he’s always been so good at it because he’s never had anything to lose, that now he has things to lose. It’s a great moment between Hondo and Street and one of my favorite scenes ever. But. I think that thought also scared Street shitless. Understandably, he’s quite literally been alone for his whole life, so, now having all these people around that he loves can be terrifying.

(Ik this is all to be for character development and it is but still, let me talk abt it )

Street doesn’t really grieve Nate in a way that’s showed a lot. He compartmentalizes which is specifically stated in season three (during bucks attempt episode) which fits his character very well. I can see it so throughly for him, he had to grow up too fast to deal with the things his father did, he was moving around and trying to be a teenager to deal with the bullying he got out through, he was always undercover or again moving to put any time into himself when he was a new cop, Swat was new and he was trying to prove himself so bad that he didn’t care about anything but that, then Nate dies and he can’t deal with it because there’s work and Buck needs help and he has to fix things with Molly and Chris is being weird and— basically the man never catches a break or gets to grieve.

When Karen dies Streets reaction always gets mixed reviews from what I’ve seen. Some are upset that he doesn’t care and that he kinda blows up in Chris’s face when she goes to check on him. Others think it fits and they wouldn’t change any of it. I am one of those people. Karen was manipulative/abusive/a bad mother, no matter how much time and effort Street put into trying to help her it never worked or even made a dent. He also didn’t want to even see her before she died, Molly was the one who convinced him to see her, which lead to the surgery he got for her, then her being in the hospital and dying anyways. It just felt like Street was doing the surgery against his will. He was very much content not speaking or seeing Karen before Molly answered that phone call.

Karen dies and Street already knows when Hicks calls him in, it fits his character, he’s expecting the worst with his mother which really drills in how bad her abuse is, Street goes back to work directly after finding out Karen’s dead. He doesn’t even know what to do for a funeral because Karen had nobody and they never talked about that type of stuff. Sure the team all out in effort to help him and go to the small funeral he did plan but like- can you imagine how awkward that must’ve been- nobody on the team liked Karen all for good reason but still, then you have Street who’s torn down the middle, on one hand she was a what he considered a good mother at some point and loved him, on the other she used him til the day she died. That funeral had to have been absolutely hell for everyone involved.

Okay switching gears back to when Street was growing up. We established he grew up quickly but I think he more or less raised himself. He was a loner to an extent and did most things for himself even when his parents were around. I can’t imagine Eddie was ever much help then Karen was most likely caught up in the drama with Eddie, that leaves a little kid Street to fend for himself. Then do the exact same when he’s out in a group home with kids who don’t like him and he doesn’t know anyone or trust anyone. He got to make do on his own.

You can see it in season one. The first damn episode has him running into a dangerous situation on his own without even a thought about the team. Why would he call them? He’s use to things on his own. It comes up so many times and I know it’s been 5 seasons but damnit I wish they brought it up again. It kind of stops after season 3 but also so does a lot of other things, Ahem the talks we use to get with Hondo and street are serverly lacking in season 4 and 5.

For fucks sake Street gets held on a hijacked plane in season 5, he has a gun to his head and gets a stun gun to the ribs and we get nothing. No comfort. More people were talking about how bad they felt for Chris because he was talking to some flight attendant. Mother fuckers he was taken Hostage. He’s just hyped up on adrenaline and avoiding the whole problem at hand. But even after everything, we get no scenes of anyone talking about. Chris was flipping her shit with worry and you’re telling me she didn’t at least ask if he was okay?? That she was that petty over some random girl?? No way. No. And if she was then Wtf.

(Aside from how much that episode annoys me) my point is that street never gets the comfort he deserves or even a little bit of it. When Chris leaves we get these heart-to-heart scenes with every single character but Street. “Oh they’re dating blah blah” don’t care, that’s the last episode the character is in and we get nothing because they’re gonna have an off screen relationship?? Bullshit. Bs. Oh and the stupid thing at the end where Chris gives everyone on the team something that reminds her of them but then street gets a “he has me” no. They could’ve made that so much more loving and sentimental. They built that relationship up for 5 seasons then destroyed it in season 5.

(This has just been a stupid rant that got off the original train of thought I was following but if you read it all, thank you)

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

How to Crash and Burn: Part 1.

Are you freakin’ serious!? You haven’t booted up the comms!?

We didn’t use this panel last time! I don’t know the controls!

It’s the same controls as the other panel, Monotaro!

*Monosuke shoves Monotaro aside and starts fiddling around with the computer.

Oh, what the hell did you do!? Did you click on some sorta unsafe link!?

It popped up on the side, I thought it was the button!

I’m amazed we evah let you be the leader...

Hey...Monosuke? Where did Monodam go?

Oh...about that.

*Monosuke reaches over and unplugs the large computer, waiting a few seconds.

Had to put ‘im down...

You WHAT!?

Wh-What do you mean?

Monodam betrayed us...He was spoutin’ all this shit about how Shirogane was lyin’ to us, or not tellin’ us the truth, and he kept ramblin’ about how she might destroy us when we leave.

...You’re telling the truth?

Monophanie...We were programmed to only tell the truth as we know it, remember?

...Of all things you COULD remember...

*Monosuke plugs the computer in again and starts typing on it once it powers up.

Doesn’t matter what he thinks. He’s gone now. And once we contact Shirogane and tell ‘er ‘bout Kaede Akamatsu’s death, we are OUTTA HERE!

*sigh* I guess I’ll take it...Even if we are two brothers short.

Excuse me? I think somebody called my name?

!!!??

!!!??

!!!??

*Monosuke, Monotaro and Monophanie all snap around in shock, as Kaede calls out to them from the Comms Room doorway.

Look who’s baaack~

What the-!? You...How!? How are you alive!?

Wait...MONODAM!?

Huh...!?

...

*The Monokubs do another double-take, as they see their mechanical brother standing at Kaede’s feet.

I thought you said you had to put him down!?

I did! Wait, don’t tell me YOU saved him!?

A Monokub getting saved by and working with a HUMAN!? Don’t be ridiculous.

Hehe! Jokes on you three. You don’t understand how it works at all.

*Kaede, still a little sore from her spats with Monodam and Monokid earlier, kneels down carefully to pat Monodam on the head.

This lil’ guy is on MY side now!

...

...

...

...

...?

...?

...?

Uh...well...go on! Say something!

OH!

HELLO.

No! Not “Hello!” Remember, we talked about this? About speaking up for yourself?

OH-RIGHT! *AHEM!*

MONOSUKE. YOU-HAVE-BEEN-NOTHING-BUT-MEAN-TO-ME-EVER-SINCE-WE-WERE-REBORN-IN-THE-LAB, AND-THEN-YOU-TRIED-TO-KILL-ME.

I-DO-NOT-APPRECIATE-IT. THEREFORE-I-WISH-FOR-PAYBACK. SORRY-IN-ADVANCE.

*Monodam turns around to Kaede.

WAS-THAT-GOOD?

Good enough!

HEE-HEE.

*Kaede holds out her fist. Monodam bumps it.

GrrrrrRRRRRRRRGGGH!

*Monosuke growls in rage, then scurries to the side of the room and clambers swiftly into his exisal, closing the hatch and turning towards them.

If you want something done right...! Alright Monodam! You want payback!? COME FUCKIN’ GET IT!

...!

[Flashback] (A few minutes earlier)

HM...

So...? Anything?

*While Kaede patches up her more terrible wounds with wipes and bandages, she carefully shows Monodam the mechanics of her spear.

YOU-SAID-THIS-WEAPON-HAD-FIVE-DIFFERENT-MODES-CORRECT? WHAT-IS-THE-FIFTH? 

Oh, it’s mainly for emergency stuff, but I’m trying not to use it. It’s called Kill Mode.

“Kill Mode?”

*Kaede switches the spear into Kill Mode.

I haven’t really tested it out properly yet, but...Mona told me...

[Flashback in Flashback]

What do you think it does? The difference between this blade and the regular one is that the regular one doesn’t cut as deeply. In hectic situations like a fight to the death, you can use this one to…you know…

Wait, so for fights to the death, that’s when you use it?

That’s what she said?

Why didn’t you use it earlier against the Exisal!? I’m pretty sure THAT counts as a fight to the death!

I just...mentally told myself I wasn’t going to use it! I don’t want to kill anyone...

THIS-SHOULD-WORK.

Huh? Huh?

THE-EXISALS-PLATED-ARMOUR-IS-STRONG-AND-THICK, BUT-IF-YOU-WERE-TO-AIM-WITH-THIS-SETTING-WITHIN-THE-OPEN-MECHANICAL-PARTS-OF-THE-MECH, A-FEW-ACCURATE-ATTACKS-SHOULD-EVENTUALLY-WEAR-IT-DOWN.

I see...! So my weapon CAN work against them.

I-HOPE-YOU-TRAINED-ENOUGH. IT-STILL-WON’T-BE-EASY.

THERE-IS-ONE-MORE-THING-I-THINK-WE-SHOULD-COVER-BEFORE-WE-ATTACK. IT-RELATES-TO-YOU, MS-SORA.

Me?

I-BELIEVE-EARLIER-THAT-YOU-CLAIMED-YOU-FELT-USELESS-BECAUSE-YOU-COULDN’T-HELP-TO-FIGHT. I-MAY-BE-ABLE-TO-FIX-THAT.

Really? How?

I’LL-EXPLAIN-IN-DUE-TIME, BUT-WE-MUST-MOVE-QUICKLY. AKAMATSU-AND-I-MAY-HAVE-TO-GO-ON-AHEAD-WITHOUT-YOU.

Oh, sure, I can allow that...NOT! What, you trying to ditch me so you can get Kaede on her own and kill her without me knowing!?

YOU-WOULD-NOT-BE-ABLE-TO-STOP-ME, SO-WHETHER-YOU-ARE-WITH-HER-OR-NOT-DOESN’T-MATTER.

Rgh!

Sora, seriously, chill for a second. Let’s just hear him out.

...Fine...What is it?

*Back in the present, Monodam skids to the side and hops in his own Exisal, ready for battle.

OK. SO-WHAT-IS-THE-PLAN?

I’ve got Monosuke. YOU handle the other two!

GOT-IT...WAIT!? TWO-AT-ONCE!?

Good luuuck~

*Kaede fastens her grip on her spear, flies forward and switches the spear into Kill Mode!

HRRRAAGH!

*SHUUUNK!*

GAAAAAGH!

*She runs her weapon straight through Monosuke’s Exisal, prompting a pained scream from him.

UUUH...

Ugh! Hoo boy...This is NOT how I was expecting my day to go!

Sorry Monodam! This is just policy!

*Already in their exisals, Monophanie and Monotaro rush towards Monodam.

OH-DEAR...

//Kaede Akamatsu and Monodam VS Monophanie, Monotaro and Monosuke!//

[wolfnanaki]

Nanaki's Late Night Thoughts (2/11/2023)

Ramblings of a trans wolf girl late at night.

When it’s coming to an end, Then why hold back? Why save it for yourself When you have so much to tell?

What is it going to take for me to do the things I actually want to do in my life? I have this weird habit of trying to make everything “just right” before I do anything, and yet it never happens. I have so many story ideas floating around in my head, playing out in my thoughts like an endless movie, and yet I can’t bring these stories to the one format I’m good at producing. I’ll have all these ideas, go home, sit in front of my computer with Word open, and then do nothing. More cycling through YouTube, talking to friends on Discord, browsing Twitter, burning through my finite time in this world instead of following my dreams.

Mom keeps pushing me into getting a Human Resources position because she believes my experience and skills are perfect for the job. She even went as far as to enroll me in a HR certification course, which I succeeded at and got my certificate. But still, I don’t feel like it’s the right job for me, I can’t see myself doing it as a career in five, ten years. I promised myself as a kid I wouldn’t allow myself to waste away at a dull office desk job, that my life would have some fucking MEANING, that I’d reach for the stars and follow my dreams.

I’m enslaved by impulses. Even now as I type this, I had to stop myself from reaching for my phone to play a mobile game. I have to look away from Twitter and other social media platforms that hit my brain in just the right ways that ensure I’m always on them. Looking at and sharing other people’s thoughts is a hell of a lot easier than sharing your own. And there’s always a hot new topic for you to dabble in, just peeking out from the “Trending” tab on the side. Want to see how many people you thought you could trust and respect still follow J.K. Rowling? Want to watch another manmade horror happen live? Want to get swallowed up in stupid debates with loser bitches whose primary goal is to make you upset and haven’t evolved their worldview since they hit puberty? Welcome to Twitter, stay a while and suffer. I’m almost glad Elon Musk is burning it to the ground, though I wonder where all the worst people in the world will go once their stomping grounds are gone.

It’s too late now anyway, So when you feel you have something to say, Why save it for yourself? Don't let those you love get away.

A few minutes before I started writing this, when I went downstairs to make myself a sandwich, I felt my foot bump into something on the floor in the darkness. It was my dog’s chew toy. It’s always in our walking path at night for some reason, and I always move it out of the way because I worry that one day, mom isn’t going to see it and will trip over it. When I started toasting my bread, the toaster started smoking, and I turned it off to look inside. My older brother has a habit of toasting a sandwich for himself every night, and he uses the toaster to reheat leftover pizza too. Whichever the case may be, there’s now a hardened black blob of cheese at the bottom part of the toaster that’s supposed to cook the food. I hope he recognizes his mistake and fixes it, otherwise I’ll have to do it for him.

Ever since I lost my job, I’ve noticed little things like that around the house, but especially in the kitchen. No matter how much you sweep, no matter how many hours you devote to cleaning the place, there’s always something dirty to it. You always feel crumbs under your toes. It makes the whole process feel pointless. I don’t get why mom puts so much effort into cleaning it when it’s always dirty anyway. Maybe one day it can be clean for real, probably the day we move out and spruce this place up.

Mom wants to move up to Jacksonville – or at least near it – since my youngest brother and his girlfriend just moved there. I’m surprised at the trajectory of my brother’s life. He traveled the world, taught English in China, started online businesses for selling tat and books, started dating a girl, and now they’ve moved in together. His girlfriend has a daughter who happily calls my brother her dad. He's 28. I’m 32 and I haven’t even been on a date. But it’s hard to compare myself with him in that way; he’s always been comfortable with who he is and how he presents himself, whereas I’m a trans woman trying to find her body, her comfort and her happiness. I don’t think I can truly open up with a romantic partner if I don’t know for sure how they’ll take me being trans, especially considering the way I look right now. I can’t “pass” the way I am, I haven’t done much vocal training, and I live in an anti-trans state. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t keep trying to live as my most authentic self.

Authenticity – my job, my gender identity, my dreams, my personality. It’s all exhausting but it’s a journey I must face head-on. If I don’t define myself for myself, it’ll be other people who define me for me. And I’ve given years of my life to other people who didn’t have my best interests at heart, who used and discarded me. That’s not who I want to be. Maybe that’s why I’m so hesitant to settle into a Human Resources career. I don’t want to live a life as another person’s lackey. And I don’t dream of labor. I just want to write my stories and life as my true self for the world to see.

And this time there won’t be another day, And now I know This is the only way. And when we go...

Back in December, I listened to a song. It’s called “Constellations,” performed by Dabu and sung by Brigitte Naggar, composed for the soundtrack for an upcoming indie game called Goodbye Volcano High. The game’s story is about anthropomorphic dinosaur teenagers in their senior year of high school having their lives being interrupted with the revelation that a comet is on its way to strike the planet and wipe out the dinosaurs. The player character is a nonbinary pterodactyl named Fang, who must figure out what they’re going to do with their remaining time. The game is billed as “the end of an era and the beginning of a love story.”

The song “Constellations” hit hard for me; its lyrics encapsulated so many of my feelings, trans and otherwise. It’s a beautiful and heartfelt song, but when I listened to it in full for the first time in full that cold night, I couldn’t handle all those feelings at once. I was overwhelmed. I was a sobbing mess for ten minutes. It hurt, but it was also cathartic in a way. I shared those feelings that night in posts, not for attention or anything, but because I desperately needed to share them in case they reach the eyes for someone else going through what I’m going through, and maybe it’ll help them knowing they’re not alone, that someone else has felt their feelings and is healing.

It was that night, influenced by the song’s lyrics, that I came up with a personal motto, one I have now posted on as many platforms that allows for it:

“When the world is ruled by hate, rebel with love.”

So many of our online interactions are defined by hate, outrage, disgust, contempt. No platform is truly safe from that influence because when we feel those feelings, they’re incredibly strong and we NEED to vent them. We spend our time arguing with each other over the most petty things, leave feeling miserable, and then prep ourselves for when we’ll do it all over again. And frankly, I realized that night that I don’t want to fall into that trap anymore. I want to live a life celebrating good, influenced by love and compassion. Because love is so much stronger than hate. Love yourself enough and you can overcome anything. Love strong enough and you can change the world. And when so much of our daily lives are defined by hate, showing true, honest love becomes a form of rebellion.

Right now, I have many parts of myself that paint me as a target for hate. I’m Jewish when antisemitism is on the rise, I’m a transgender woman when anti-trans bills are being passed across the USA, and being a furry, I’m part of a big, openly queer space that’s now also under attack by the political right. I am surrounded by hate, and if I’m not careful, hate will be my end. But that’s even more reason to love. I don’t plan on being a martyr or anything, but I let the hate and fear of other people control my life, then just like when I’m boymoding, I’m not living as my true self.

I’m a trans woman, I’m proud, I’m full of love, and I want to make the world a better place. Whatever dreams or achievements I accomplish before I’m gone, that’s one legacy I want to leave behind. And I hope my words reach people who need them, who find comfort in them, and who come to choose to live a life of compassion and love. We only get so much time in this world, let’s make it worthwhile.

You can see it in the constellations. It spells our legacy above. There was love, there will always be love.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you have a reason to smile right now? Not at this moment, no. It’s almost 6AM and I’m only up because I was in pain, so I’m waiting for my pain med to kick in now and hopefully get a little more sleep.  Do you start the shower water before or after you get in? I start it after.  True or false: Your not sitting on a chair to use the computer right now. True- I’m lying in bed.  Do you regret any of your past relationships? No. How many times have you been to a museum? Several times. 

How has this past week been for you? Started out stressful, but I finally, after 3 very long months, came home Wednesday evening. Now I’m just getting settled in back home and getting used to my new routine.  Is anything going to happen next month that makes you happy? It’s getting closer to fall and Halloween, plus there’s new movies and shows coming out I’m looking forward to seeing.  Are you going to be getting any new pets soon? No. Do you like the rain? I love it. I wish it rained more often here.  Do you like it when stores have sales? No, I hate sales. Why would I want to save money? Lame.  ,,,, Would you rather be a Panda or Grizzly bear? Panda.  Do you have any of your Easter candy left over? It’s the end of August my dude; I finished that several months ago.  Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be? No. Does your ex make you mad? No. I don’t even see or talk to him. In fact, it’s been 6 years since we’ve last seen or talked to each other.  Will you talk to someone on the phone tonight? No. Do you like BBQ sauce? I do.  Do the stairs in your have carpet? My house doesn’t have stairs.  What were you doing at 9 AM this morning? It’s only 5:53AM.  Can you do a twirl like a ballerina? No. Would you rather eat 12 hot dogs or 6 hamburgers? I like both, but I wouldn’t want to eat anywhere near that many of either one. I couldn’t stomach that.  What color is the door to your basement? I don’t have a basement.  Was your favorite class science because of the experiments? No, science wasn’t my favorite class.  Do you like citrus pop or any drinks? I don’t mind Sprite, but it’s not my favorite.  Last time you wore the opposite sex's clothing? I mean, most of my graphic tees are from the men’s section.  What's the last board game you played? I don’t remember, it’s been awhile since I’ve last played a board game.  What laundry detergent do you use? *ended up falling asleep, so it’s now later* To be honest, I’m not entirely sure. I don’t do the laundry, so I don’t pay much attention.  Do you trust people too easily? No. Are you currently fighting with someone? No. Do you hang out with your siblings friends? No. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach? I have the nervous/anxious kind a lot these days.  Have you ever kept anything wild as a pet? No. Do you set good examples for little kids? I wouldn’t look to me as an example for anything.  Does your favorite song mention a famous person's name in it? I have numerous favorite songs, so there’s like several that mention a famous person’s name. Are you counting down the days to anything? No. Does your house have a pool? Nope.  If you broke your computer, would you be able to fix it by yourself? No. I wouldn’t even want to try and tackle that on my own, I’d just rather take it somewhere. I actually need to do that. My younger bro generously lent me his laptop to use, but it’s been several months now and I eventually need to get mine fixed.  On a scale 1-10, how much does the opposite sex confuse you? People in general are confusing.  When you party, do you get wild? Ha, no. Not that I party, but I’m certainly not the life of any kind of get together.  If you found a wallet full of money, what would you do? Is there an ID or something with the owner’s info?  Do you do cheers often? No. I couldn’t even tell you the last time I did that.  Do you enjoy fishing? No. Was your first job babysitting? That’s the only “job” I’ve had. I used to watch my brother and a couple of my cousins when they were kids and my parents and aunt did give me money.  Did you wear a hoodie today? Gah, no it’s triple digit hot here.  Are you embarrassed to talk about stuff with your dad? About some things, yeah.  Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood? I guess Carrie. 

[fairytaleriots]

Repressing emotions, being ironic...the family business - Chapter 2

Fic summary:

Dave wants to find his Bro, Rose wants to return to her normal live as a college student. Instead they get involved in some rituals, find themselves and a family and maybe save the world. The last part might pose a problem. or Dean Winchester wishes he had what Dave Strider has

ao3

Chapters: 1

Act 1 Chapter 2

“Dave has shown recent attachment to the school the kids are currently at. It’s getting bothersome to hear him complain. Note for the future: draw clearer lines.”

- /home/Folder69/livelaughlove, Bro Strider’s computer files

Your name is Dave Strider and your life is rapidly falling apart. You seem to have lost your brother. You got your sister back, but only for a limited time and with the uncomfortable side effect of her having weird visions from an unknown source. Once you get your brother back you’re gonna have to deal with that and, if he tries to kill Rose, you don’t know what you’ll do. And the traffic on the way to your motel in Chicago is really bad.

You sit in the car in silence. It’s not very in character for you, you know that.  Even when you’re on a job on your own car rides are rarely quiet, you‘re to busy singing along to your tapes, testing yourself on any hunter knowledge that you shouldn't forget by mumbling to yourself or just straight up thinking out loud.  With Rose especially you’re not used to it. Its never quiet with the two of you, you never had trouble finding pointless things to say. You remember hours spend in the backseat of the car making up stories and arguing about music or singing along to whatever was playing while Bro drove. Nights spend in motel rooms, whispering to each other while trying not to wake Bro up.

And yet, after Rose finishes her retelling and you search for the address of the motel she names, neither of you says a word. Once again you can see your family crumbling apart and you desperately want to find something to say that tapes it back together again, but that didn't work out last time either, did it. There’s a part of you that wants to give up and let Rose go back to her new home, without you and there’s a part that hopes this awful, awkward car ride never ends.  There’s a part of you that wants to find Bro as soon as possible, get all of you back together again and a part of you that thinks that if you don’t find him you at least will not have to deal with whatever happens after. 

It takes Rose too long to gather herself and start making fun of your music. The two of you used to  be better at ignoring your problems.

You don’t know what kind of car Bro rented (or stole), when he left the Silverado with you and Rose’ vision didn’t tell you his room number. So there’s no way to break into his room or to know if he’s even still here, without talking to the receptionist. Not that breaking into Bro’s room would ever be a good idea in the first place. Instead you give the receptionist everything you got.

“It’s just so horrible!”, Rose cries out dramatically.  You know she’s not a fan of this and would rather just threaten the receptionist into giving her the information you want, but you don’t know how long you’re staying in the area yet and this way is less likely to end in someone calling security or the police. Less likely, but not unlikely, because Rose loves drama.

“How could he just not show up? My own father! On my most important day! He’s here, isn't he? Can you call him down? Or give me his room number? I just want to talk to him one last time!”

Rose starts some spiel about how Bro was her father, who had not shown up to her wedding day, despite promising to walk her down the aisle alongside her mother. But, because their parents had some sort of fight, he had fled and ruined his daughters big day.  You do your best to look like an angry brother, but not to angry to be of concern, while holding back a grin at the panicked look on the overwhelmed receptionists face, as Rose tearfully unloads years of made up family drama on him.

“I know they have their problems. I know and I would never force them back together. But I thought just for this day I could have my whole family again. Is that so much to ask? Am I a bad daughter for asking them to do this?”, she sobs and looks at the receptionist like he surely has all the answers. 

The receptionist is looking at the door like he is considering just fleeing. You lay a supportive hand on her shoulder. When she starts up again you can practically see him give up.

“Ma'am, why don’t I give you the room number and you can see if you can clear this all up? I’m very sorry about your wedding.” He scribbles a number and a description of how to get there on a piece of paper and shoves it in your hands. Rose starts thanking him profusely, while you gently guide her away.

There’s no answer when they knock, which could mean anything really. So you might have to break  in after all. “You do it”, Rose says, sweeping her hand in a magnanimous ‘Lady’s first’ gesture. “I think you might need the practice after what you did to my window.” “Thanks, your concern for my breaking and entering skills is real touching. I feel so taken care of.”, you deadpan back and then you get to work.

It takes a bit, because Rose learned her security skills from Bro, but he was of course still better than her. This hotel room is more protected than her entire apartment. But, after a lot of fumbling and cursing under your breath, the door swings open to reveal the carefully created chaos, that Bro manages to create in every room he stays in for more than a day. You spend too much time learning the ins and outs of this special organization system, so you could put back anything you needed to borrow from Bro, without him noticing.

The reason nobody answered the door is, because nobody is in the room.  “Should we just wait for him? His stuff’s still here, so he has to come back.”, you suggest. Rose grimaces, before she answers: “ To be quiet honest I would prefer to finish with this sooner rather than later. And who knows when he’ll get back, he has never had sensible time management. Let’s just figure out what the job is, so we can look for him.”

With that she starts rooting through Bro’s stuff and using the opportunity to clean up, folding his clothes and putting stuff where it should typically belong instead of where Bro thinks it should go.  You know for a fact that Rose is not any tidier and constantly leaves her stuff just lying around, a habit she has not grown out of, judging from what you’ve seen of her apartment, but she always did this whenever she had the opportunity. A chance to piss of Bro by destroying his system, under the guise of just wanting to help him. You think Bro thinks it’s funny.

You go start going through stacks of paper, lying next to a chair. Your best bet of finding out what kind of job he’s on is probably his laptop, but there’s no way your getting in there. The stacks are a mix of research, comic sketches, texts written in Latin and, noticeably, the latest chapter of Rose’s wizard fanfiction, printed out and annotated. At some point you stop looking and start reading out the chapter and adding your own commentary, while Rose continues the search. Her face is carefully annoyed, but she doesn’t try to hit you over the head with a blunt object or rip the papers out of your hands, so you assume she’s having fun. 

“… okay, not that I don’t appreciate Zazzerpan and every scene he’s in, but it’s real convenient that he shows up right there. Also, what kind of word is ‘assiduous’ anyway.”

“A good one.”, she interrupts you. “Also shut up, I found some directions. It is possible that he went there today, so we might as well take a look.”

“Fair enough, but I’m taking this with us. I’ll need some entertainment on the way.”  You continue your commentary.

Bro gives a lot of lectures. They’re not really lectures, since they don’t usually include a lot of words, unless he really gets going on a metaphor.  They’re more singular sentences, that fall somewhere between advice and order and are often paired with a slight downward turn of the edge of his mouth or a thumbs down, to communicate disapproval of your actions. Equally often an ass-kicking follows. Sometimes the lecture includes no words at all and is instead an elaborate test of your abilities.

Part of you wonders if this is also a test. Maybe he’s testing how long you stay cool without losing your shit and looking for him. Or he’s testing if you know to come for back up, when he needs you. You don’t know which one or what’s the right course of action and it makes you feel uneasy, but you don’t have a better idea, than to keep doing what your already doing. And there’s a part of your mind that thinks that, if Bro is actually in danger, then coming to help him would surely be worth getting your ass kicked. You ignore that part, along with the uneasiness, because Bro’s to good to get in the sort of trouble he can’t get out of.

One of the lessons Bro keeps repeating is about blending in and staying unnoticed. Alibis, new identities, financial trails. Despite all that, Bro himself is not really subtle. It’s not his fault, he’s simply too cool to stay unnoticed. Also his shades don’t help.

Thanks to that it’s easy to follow his steps, once you picked up his trail, based on the information you and Rose found. Enough people saw him lounging around to give you a direction. Somehow you still end up going in circles three times, until you decide to look under the bridge you’ve been crossing over each turn.  You don’t really see the point in it, since you don’t exactly know what Bro would be doing under a bridge, but whatever. You slide down a muddy hill to get to a more hidden part and you start seeing the point.

Bro is lying in the mud under the bridge. His white polo shirt is stained brown everywhere and it would look like he just slipped and decided to not get up again if it wasn’t for Bro’s own sword impaling him through the sternum. If it wasn’t for the fact that the brown was not mud brown and instead the brown of dried blood.

You want to leave. You want to turn around and make this not be your problem. To just let him lie there and reject this from your mind. You’re not stupid enough to follow through on that instinct. Even if he weren’t your Bro, you’re a hunter and not taking care of a body is asking for trouble. It’d probably be easier, if it wasn’t your Bro. For a very selfish second you think about booking it anyway and letting Rose deal with it on her own. You can’t do that either. You’re her older brother. Her only one now. (Her only one maybe ever)

You look at her and see her squaring her shoulders, before stalking over to Bro. She raises her eyebrows at you and says: “Well, do you want to do the honors?” She waves her hand at the sword that’s still in Bro. In him. You come closer and raise your hand to pull it out and then let it flop down again. Nope. We are not making that happen. No way. Bro never let either of you touch his sword before and you can’t get yourself to now.   Its weird really. The three of you shared everything else, there’s not really another choice when you life in a truck with a family that doesn’t understand the concept of privacy.  You especially shared weapons and didn’t really get attached to any of them, given that they often had to be discarded or broke because of their shitty quality. Your family went through blades like other people went through 5 dollar headphones.  But that sword was always Bro’s sword. You just can’t. You won’t.

Rose doesn’t want to touch it either, so she just starts jostling Bro’s body until it falls out by itself. That should be worse but you can respect it.  More blood spills out once it’s free and you can’t really understand how there can be any more blood. What kind of bottomless mozzarella sticks bullshit is this. Nope, that’s a bad metaphor, retreat, retreat. 

You cant really bury him here and now. Digging an unauthorized grave in the middle of the day would be noticed and so would dragging a bloody corpse through town. In the end, you end up hiding him more out of sight, with the plan to come back once its dark. 

You find a jewish cemetery a reasonable distance away. At some point it feels almost normal breaking into a cemetery, something that only makes it more uncomfortable, not less. You work together to dig the grave without having to discuss it much and both of you are aware that you usually do this to dig someone up, not to bury them. Somehow doing it the right way around feels worse. Nothing about this fits right. It’s not quiet, because words are flowing out of your mouth, but to be honest you don’t even hear what your saying and by the looks of it Rose isn’t listening either. Her face is a mix of blank and furious, if you ignore the rapid blinking of her eyes, as if she's trying not to let the fury slip away. Bro’s burial is good enough to stop any supernatural bullshit, but otherwise wholly practical, impersonal and unsentimental.

You go back to his room after, gather all his things and then get a motel room at a different place under a different name. Rose dumps anything of Bro’s she doesn’t deem important in a corner of your room and curls up with the rest. “We still have to figure out what killed him. If it was that dangerous it might take out more people.”, she says.

“Sure. If we’re lucky Bro has already done most of the research for us and it won’t even be that much of the boring part. Best kind of job.”, you say.  You don’t say that, if this thing was strong enough to kill Bro, the two of you have very little chance against it. Fighting things that are naturally stronger, faster and better than you is what a hunter does. It’s what Bro does. You have no excuse. You get that urge to leave again.

You snatch the jacket you just threw over a chair back up and turn to Rose. “I’ll go ask around what even brought Bro here, while you go through his notes. Do your boring nerd shit or whatever.” You slam the door and maybe leave a little faster than would normally be appropriate of a dude as cool as you.

Asking around gets a lot of information and none of it especially useful. “Oh, are you the partner of that FBI guy? Agent Mathers, the one that asked after Mr. Powell? Did you ask his wife yet? I’m sure you did, you must be very good at your job. And it’s not like I think that she stabbed him! It’s just that I know they had some problems, I could always hear them yelling when I was tending the garden. Not that I was listening, of course. I was still taught manners, unlike whatever Mrs. Fisher two houses down is teaching her young one. He’s constantly prank buzzing here! Can you believe it? But no, I wasn’t listening, they were just always that loud. A disturbance really.”, an older women tells you, followed by every sin anyone in this street has ever committed, including someone leaving up Christmas decorations for too long, which seems to be equal to potentially stabbing your husband.

You convince a group of teens, that you find near the bridge where you found Bro, to tell you what they know and they tell you about more stabbings, which seem mostly unrelated to Mr. Powell. Nobody has any reliable details, but at first glance the victims don’t seem to have much in common.

And there’s no sign of anything supernatural going on either.  No weird circumstances of death, no impossible break ins or missing body parts or blood. Nobody seeing anything weird or the victims having a feeling of being followed before their deaths. Just good, old stabbings, some standard human murder. Why was Bro even following this trail?

When you get back Rose doesn’t look any happier either. “You find anything at all?”, you ask her.

“No.”, she frowns. “Nothing useful in the papers. Didn’t see anything about stabbings either. Anything relevant is probably on the Laptop, but I tried to crack it and didn’t manage.”

“So what now?”

Rose looks contemplative for a moment.  “I don’t think there's anything useful we can do here, for now. There’s really no point in doing all the work Bro did from the ground up again, when everything we need is most likely on the laptop already. I propose that, if we are not able to access the information ourselves, the next logical step would be to find someone who can help with that.”

There were very few people that Bro respected, but Jake Harley was probably one of them. You knew this because 1. Bro never said anything downright insulting about him and 2. most hunters respected Jake Harley. He was the shining paragon of what every hunter should be. Cared about hunting more than anything else in his life and the dude knew how to pretty much handle any type of gun, with an absurd amount of knowledge about the supernatural on top of that. Maybe that’s just the kind of knowledge you get when your in the business that long, but most hunters didn’t get to be that old.

Bro even worked on a few jobs with him and Bro hated working with other people. Even with you, most of the time you were sure that he only let you tag along, because he wasn’t sure you wouldn’t get yourself killed on your own and you’re family. But he worked with Harley voluntarily.

It was on one of these hunts that you and Rose met Jade for the first time. The three of you must have been like 12 years old and Bro and Jake Harley had left you in a relatively safe spot on standby, in case they needed back up, while they went deal with the Mandragora. The rifle Jade was holding seemed almost taller than her, but she didn’t seem to have any trouble handling it or like she was scared. You think that’s a perfectly valid reason to develop a bit of a crush on someone. At some point she had let out a sincere laugh at something you said and nudged you in the side like you had known each other forever and you think that’s an even better reason.

Jake Harley was dead now. It gets even the best ones eventually. But as far as you know Jade’s still active and still as competent as ever, both with her rifle and, more importantly right now, computers. She’s your best shot to crack that laptop.

Bro mostly keeps to himself, since he doesn’t need help often, but there are spots where hunters meet up and Jade visits them quite frequently. When she sees you and Rose walking through the door a big grin spreads across her face and she sprints towards you, trying to pull both of you into a hug at the same time. It’s awkward but warm, just like her. “Dave! Rose!! Your both here! Together.”, she says.

“Yes, my retirement was interrupted by a family emergency.”, Rose explains, trying her best to look dignified while still being hugged and failing miserably.

“Oh no! What happened? Is everything alright?”

“Bro’s dead.”, Rose states. You close your eyes behind your shades just for a moment.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, guys.”, Jade says and looks at you specifically. You just about manage not to turn away. How did you get stuck between two girls who seem to think you’re gonna break any minute. You’re fine. 

“There’s nothing to be done about it.”, Rose states brusquely. “But we would like to find out what happened and we could use your help with gaining access to Bro’s laptop.” Jade immediately smiles at Rose. “Yeah, of course! To be honest I’ve been kind of curious about Bro’s security anyway! Grandpa always says that he’s a real ‘crackerjack’ at computers and I could use a challenge!” At least someone is getting something out of this.

You try to make yourself train while Jade is busy. At first you try to keep her company, but it’s not really your kind of thing and Jade gets a bit frustrated when people can’t keep up.  There’s a few other hunters at this meeting point, but since it’s a bit out of the way, there aren’t that many and they mostly keep to themselves.  Rose took the opportunity to claim a couch in the corner and go through her uni notes. Makes sense, you guess, it would suck if she went back only to fail all her classes.  And she probably misses it. 

The smart thing for you to do with this bit of free time would be to train. It’s what Bro would want you to do. It’s what Bro would make you do.  You can’t bring yourself to, for some reason. So now your sitting on a small wall outside the back of the house, thinking about knife-forms and moves you haven’t quite internalized yet and your body just won’t move. You’re still stuck like that when Jade comes out and sits down next to you.

“All done! This one was tough. But fun! I didn’t look at anything yet, I thought you and Rose probably want to do that.”

As always your mouth is the first part of your body that reconnects to your brain. “What you didn’t take the opportunity to look at Bro’s porn folder?”

The rest of you catches up and you wince. Jade, bless her, just smiles at you indulgently. She definitely has to deal with too much of your shit. 

“The obvious one with the ironic kinks or the hidden one with the more sincere ones?.” Rose follows Jade through the door. Gross. You decide in this moment to get a new sister. Sure, you brought up the porn thing first, but everyone knows that you have don’t think before you speak! Rose is very much thinking and she’s doing it on purpose. Maybe you can trade her in for Jade.

“How the fuck would you even know about Bro’s porn folders? Wasn’t the whole thing here that we don’t know how to get to his files?” Rose smirks knowingly. It doesn’t explain anything. Ugh.

At some point you do accidentally click on porn. Curse Bro for not properly labeling any of his files. How does he find anything? It’s just tons of weirdly labeled files in unlabeled folders. You have to admire your Bro’s dedication to purposeful chaos.  Going through the most recent files you find screenshots from newspapers all over the country. Weird weather, people vanishing, the usual things a hunter looks out for. Eventually you find some police reports about stabbings in the town you found him in. 

There’s still nothing unusual about them as far as you can see. All of them got stabbed through the sternum but that doesn’t mean its anything supernatural. Could just be a dude.  You click through several more files, some of them not even hunting related. One of them is just an anime of the season list. Then you find what your looking for. At first you think Bro took a screenshot of some poor dudes tinder profile, but then you look at his age.

Jack, Demon, 346(?) years old. Hobbies: Stabbing.   You think you found it. Next to you Rose falls over.  Again.

[or-something-better]

May 31, 2022

((In the Bunker))

Sam

I pour myself a large glass of orange juice and take it, along with my laptop, in to sit at the map room table. I've got this nagging feeling that all of our recent over-the-top even for us, supernatural activity, might come back to bite us in the ass. Better to know what's happening out there around us a head of time, than to just get caught with our pants down. Opening the laptop, I go to work scanning tagged sites for our local area.

Ruby

Popping into the bunker, I notice Sam at the Map Table.

Sam

Looks up at the movement Ruby... hey. What are you doing here?

Ruby

Reaching into my satchel I pull out the 2 Moldavite stones we used recently. Holding them up to show Sam. "I'm returning these to the artifact room."

Sam

Can't hide my surprised look I didn't realize that you still had them. I don't know, guess I just sort of assumed that they were used up in the spell somehow. Thanks for bringing them back.

Ruby

"I was keeping them safe until I could return them. We wouldn't want them falling into the wrong hands." I start to head for the artifact room

Sam

You need help putting them back? I mean, in the right place?

Ruby

I stop and turn to him I think I remember how we did it the other day. I ask out of curiosity* "What are you doing?

Dean

I walk out from my room going after coffee hey Sammy

Sam: Me? Looks back at the computer and then feels like I'm saved from what would have been an ensuing argument by Dean's arrival Hey Dean... Ruby I'm just looking for anything off in the surrounding areas last few days...

Ruby

Off?

Dean

Thought we were gonna go hunt something SAmmy

Sam

Yeah, you know, signs that our recent activities might have caused some interest. Demon signs, the usual...Was just looking to see what's out there feels a little guilty about how that sounds

Ruby

Looking for a case or looking for any particular type of activity?

Dean

Uh huh sure you were you forgot didn't you?

Sam

No.. no I didn't forget... just hadn't gotten that far into specifics just yet, you know, to find an actual case. Gives Ruby a direct look I've just been following up a hunch first..

Ruby

And what would that 'hunch' be?

Dean

You being in danger from the spells of course

Ruby

Really? What makes you and your brother think that?

Sam

Look, Ruby. I know we've already talked about this, but Dean's not wrong.

Dean

When does anything good ever come after magic

Ruby

I would expect him to take your side. Why does everyone assume that magic is bad?

Dean

Why are you so stubborn to see it

Ruby

I could ask the same of you

Sam

He's not taking a side.. we're all on the same side here. I just think that we need to be smart about this and a little caution right now seems like the best move. That's all I'm saying

Dean

Didn’t say the magic was bad just saying something worse seems to be not far behind it

Ruby

Funny, 'cause it's not feeling like that.

Dean

Gabe forbid somebody might ACTUALLY care about you right ruby

Ruby

And would that somebody be YOU... Dean Winchester

Sam

Gives Ruby the seriously look “It mean all of us Ruby”

Dean

And Sam and everyone else here

Ruby

I smile “Right. I think I will put these moldavite back....where they belong. Of course, if it's too hard to do that, I'll let you know Sam. Bye guys.” I head for the artifact room. Entering the artifact room, I locate the box that the moldavites belonged in, noted the second one being returned as well in the red ledger, and decided to just pop to the apartment from here.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #053

What’s the longest you’ve gone without accessing the internet? Well, excluding when I was a baby and all, somewhere around two weeks during a mental hospital stay. What’s the one book you think everyone should be required to read? Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. Anti-war novel that is simply fanfuckingtastic. How patriotic are you? My "patriotism" reaches into the negatives, dude. When was the last time you used a computer in a public place? A few months ago when I went with my mom to the church she cleans just to get out of the house. I'd brought my laptop with me and just chilled in an office. Is there anyone else in the room with you atm? What are they doing? Just my snake. She's just chillin' in one of her hides.

What is something that you plan to buy, as soon as you’ve saved up the money for it? I want Teddy's tribute tattoo literally ASAP. Sara's handwriting on my boob just ain't it lmfao What kind of deodorant do you use? Some Secret scent, I don't look. Your first serious relationship, do you still talk to him/her? No. Is there anything too serious to be joked about? Absolutely. Off the top of my head, don't you fucking dare joke about rape or molestation with me, ESPECIALLY if it involves a child. I honest to god would fucking deck you. Some things simply are not in any way funny. Does ketchup really belong on mac & cheese? I've never tried it and never will, it sounds disgusting. What’s one fruit you love in drinks? Strawberries. What is something simple that you’re afraid of? Talking on the phone. Do you have any nieces or nephews? Describe them. I have a lot, but since these are the only ones I see frequently/know well, I'll just say a little bit about my immediate older sister's kids: Aubree is bright, quiet, shy, loving, and a deep thinker. She gets frustrated easily when she doesn't understand something. Ryder is VERY active, pretty much deafeningly loud, full of energy, and loves to show off in that endearing way children do when they think they can do something even remotely cool. Emerson is super silly, a total daddy's girl, and she loves to help and be included. She's glued to her big brother's hip. I love them all so, so much. What is one thing you have in common with your mother? We both care A LOT about other people and never let those we love suffer alone. Is there a small, local shop that you enjoy going to? What types of things do they sell? No. Who is a coworker from the past that you miss? Why did you enjoy their presence so much? I've never really worked long enough to answer this. What is something that somebody else introduced to you, that you ended up falling in love with? Who made the introduction? What is it that you love about this particular thing? HA, the whole Silent Hill franchise tops the list, eeeeeeasy. I watched Jason play the first game and got totally obsessed. I just love how creative it is and how the whole big idea is you can't run from your past if you haven't made peace with it, because it will always follow you otherwise. I could literally write an essay on why I love the series so much, I'm restraining myself lol. What are some things that make you feel peaceful? Birdsong, wind chimes, flowing water, rustling leaves in a breeze... really mostly nature sounds, now that I'm thinking about it. Name something that reminds you of your grandparents. Disney World is one, 'cuz my maternal grandma (the only grandparent I ever *really* knew) worked there. Does a male or female sing the last song you listened to? Male. Are you listening to music now? If so what song? Yeah, "Eifersucht" by Rammstein is on atm. What is the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought? My snake. Or my Mark tattoo? Idr. Are you on speaking terms with your parents? Yep. What are your feelings on feminism? You CANNOT look at the world today and DARE to say it is not 100% VITAL. Some people do take it too far, but for the most part, feminism MUST exist and be fought for. Do you think an opinion deserves respect just by virtue of being an opinion? Sure don't. Some opinions are just fucking vile. Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex? Once we start doing that, it's going to be an absolute necessity. I WILL NOT take that shit lightly because I am fucking not getting pregnant. Are you more sympathetic towards animals or humans? Oh, animals for sure. Is there anything you want to live to tell your grandchildren? I'm not going to have kids to even have kids of their own. If you could be reborn, what would you be reborn as? Hm, maybe a wild lioness. Does the person you love/like have any pets? Yeah, a pit/shepherd mix named Charlie. Are you more attracted to men or women? I'm attracted to both, but I think I tend to experience attraction more often with men. Have you ever been told you were a good writer? Yeah, that's probably what I've been complimented on most. Have you ever been on a farm? Yes. How many times can you honestly say you’ve been in love? Twice. What if your ex says to you, “Why did you let me go?” I would lose my FUCKING MIND if Jason had the absolute audacity to say that, but I can pretty fucking confidently say he wouldn't. Like I genuinely don't know exactly how I'd react other than laughing my absolute ass off in total disbelief that came out of his mouth. How many people have told you they were in love with you? One with certainty. I don't know if Girt has said those exact words? Sara was never completely sure. Have you chewed gum after someone else already has? Uh, EW? No? What was the last song you listened to that made you cry? The acoustic version of "Eternally Yours" by MiW. Your ex REALLY needs you at 3am and you have a way to their house would you go? I don't see how my presence would help him, so no, honestly. I'd feel like I was being disloyal to Girt just by showing up there. What I WOULD do is have an emotional breakdown over it, though. Does the thought of marriage scare you? No, it never has. Would your parents get mad if you got drunk while they were present? No. Do you know anyone who suffers from depression? I know multiple, including myself. How much older/younger than you was the person you lost your virginity to? N/A Any sexual stuff happen in the past two months? Yes. Have you ever made a sex tape? That's an absolute no, I never would. Have you ever considered being a cop? Nope. Do you get high a lot? I never do. Where do you want to live when you are older? Ugh, take me back to the woods in the middle of nowhere, PLEASE. Are you into bondage? It's not something I've tried and am not horribly interested. Have you ever been bitten by a dog? No. If you could go back and redo things with your last ex, would you? No. Do your parents have Facebook accounts? Only my mom does. Do you remember who you liked in grade eight? I actually don't think I liked anyone. Are you dressing up for Halloween this year? Almost positive no. I just don't have a reason to anymore. Girt and I have instead planned to play the Resident Evil 2 remake; he is not fond of horror games and won't play them himself, but he seems to kinda like watching me do it. Does/did either of your parents serve in the military? No. Do you like sour candy? I LOVE sour candy. What was the last reason you went to the doctor for? I actually just went yesterday to get my ears cleaned; I had a blockage in my left ear from just earwax. That's what happens when you overuse q-tips, kids. I was just pushing shit back. Have you ever used the app Duolingo to learn a language? No; I use an app called Readle to learn German. Do you enjoy blueberry muffins? Love. Would you rather plant a vegetable or flower garden? Oh, flowers for sure. Do you think Bigfoot is real? Meh, probably not. Or at least, sasquatches no longer exist. Do you think you could win a cooking competition? What would you cook if you were in one? HELL no. How long could you run before getting winded? I am almost 100% certain I can't run at all. My legs are too weak; my knees would immediately give out. Have you ever been arrested? No. Who is your best online friend? Where does he/she live? Tez (Oregon) and Mazzy (Nevada) are tied as my best friends. What fandoms would you consider yourself a part of? Oh god, there's a lot. Rammstein, Markiplier + some other YouTubers, Silent Hill, World of Warcraft, Wings of Fire, and more. Your ex calls wanting to hang out. What do you say? No. Do you think your ex will ever want to be with you again? No. Where would you rather live: England or Australia? England. As much of an animal lover as I am, Australia has some WILD shit goin on over there with the wildlife lmao. I ain't built for finding a huntsman spider in my shoe. Do you own a wok? No. What are your career goals? I just wanna be a photographer, man. Showcase the greatest sights in nature. Something you are working on right now: Sigh, losing weight. My fucking weight jumped up like three pounds at the doctor today only since like maybe two weeks ago and I am VERY confused on how and EXTREMELY frustrated. It might just be normal fluctuations, sure, but I just want the fucking numbers to keep going DOWN, not up again. How much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? Very little/practically none, save for that I'm NOT currently having sex and never have. I am extremely uncomfortable talking about this topic with my mom of all people. Have you ever used fake tan? OH MY GOD so in high school I went through a streak of putting this tanning lotion on my legs because I was self-conscious of them. Looking back I sure was talented at not blending that shit out well, ha ha. Are any of your siblings married? What are their spouses’ names? Yes; various sisters have husbands by the names of Nick, Josh, and Franky. My only brother's wife is Chelsey. Does your father have any creepy or scary friends you don’t like? Ugh, he did once when my parents were still together. Van was his name. Weird dude. Are you attracted to the last person that you fell in love with? Yes. Is it important to be on a similar intelligence level as the person you’re with? I personally don't think so. What’s your favorite Ben & Jerry’s flavor? PHISH FOOD, FUCK ME UP Were you a planned child? I... think? Would you ever get an eyebrow piercing? If I didn't have glasses, I would actually get one. So, what are your plans for the near future (a year)? I would LOVE to just have a fucking income. Even just a TINY one with pictures every now and again, maybe. I hope I'm way smaller weight-wise and for the love of FUCKING GOD I hope my legs have improved considerably. I DO NOT know how I'm still walking at all, it is pure fucking determination. What’s something you wish you’d never seen or heard? Ha ha I'm sure there are technically worse things, but the first thing that came to me was knowing botflies exist and seeing one pulled from a man's back (on video, anyway). I would rather fucking DIE. Who was the last person you saw a movie at the cinema with? Who paid? Girt, and me because it was my date idea for us. He typically pays for everything and I HATE it so I used some money I had left over. Do you message friends and family on Facebook regularly? Not really... but I probably should more. Name three countries you would love to visit. South Africa, Germany, and maybe Scotland. Do you still have a landline phone in your home? No, we haven't for a very long time. What is your favourite brand of shoes? Not really. Have you ever built a snowman? I have. (: I have great childhood memories making them with my sisters and dad while Mom would be inside making hot chocolate or snow cream. Snow days as a kid were the ABSOLUTE best. Have you ever had something signed by someone famous? What and who? No.