#this is the first time something's gotten flagged but my god

[2hightocare]

WHAT YOU NEED ✷

Synopsis: Jungkook and you try getting into the Christmas spirit, but you end up getting fucked up against the kitchen counter.

Pairing: Jungkook x f!reader

Genre: established relationship au!

Warnings: smut, size kink, light spanking, squirting, creampie, unprotected sex (don’t b dumb nd wear condom.) fluff, cussing, Jungkook has a dirty mouth. a kms joke, hair pulling and choking

Word count: 2.3k

A/n: let’s not sayyyy.. when i say i was giggling and kicking my feet i am not fucking lying! (Jk had me on a chokehold istg😒) they flagged my shit… um

Is it barely November 1st? Yes.

Are you putting the Christmas tree up already? Fuck yeah.

Jungkook would clown you for your love for Christmas, and honestly, you didn't care because you loved everything about it. The decorations, the new flavored coffee menu’s, the gifts underneath the tree, and the cold. You loved wearing beanies, scarves, and thick hoodies. Something about this holiday takes you back to your childhood—the way you would gather with your siblings and parents in the kitchen, making sugar cookies to put under the tree for Santa.

Were you heartbroken when your parents told you they were Santa? Yes. You felt betrayed after they lied to you for thirteen years of your life. When you shared your story with Jungkook, he burst out laughing, sharing that he found out at age nine after catching his parents in the act, making you want to cry for him.

Now here you both were at 10:40 pm assembling the Christmas tree. Jungkook's mom gifted you both, which is much bigger than yours from last year.

“Oh my fuck—this is too big, baby." Jungkook admires the height of the tree with his hands rested on both sides of his hips. Your excitement rises at how many possible ways you both could decorate it.

"Well, I can tell you hate it,” your boyfriend jokes as his hands wrap around your bare waist from behind. “Your hands are cold,” you flinch. Your hands wrap around his, trying to pass him your warmth.

“And if we decorate it with tiny dicks?” You crack your neck upward to see his reaction. “I mean, go for it, baby."

You swat his chest as he burst into a fit of laughter. “You swear you’re so funny, huh?” You look at him with a serious face, your mouth twitching from trying to hold in the big smile that wants to come out.

Jungkook just shakes his head. “Wanna decorate today with last year's decorations, or we can wait till tomorrow and buy new ones, and instead we can bake Christmas cookies?” He wiggles his eyebrows at you.

Anyone in their right mind would be thinking we’re crazy for already baking Christmas cookies when December is in a whole month. But you both didn’t care.

…

“We should’ve gotten pre-made cookie dough.” Your eyes look around at the marble counter in front of you, filled with all the ingredients your mother-in-law told you to use. “On god.” Jungkook stands beside you. “You know what? Let me call my mom. We need a tutorial, I'm afraid.” You giggle as he pulls out his phone, opening up FaceTime.

The phone rings three times before the camera fills up with your mother-in-law smiling sweetly. "Hi, my babies!” She says first, Your face lights up. “Hi,” you wave a hand to the camera. “Hi mom!”

“You guys look adorable,” she motions to your guys matching pink hello kitty pajamas. “Y/n bought them; I had no choice,” he lied, knowing damn well he wanted to match first. “Sureee.” You rolled your eyes at him.

The call continued as Jungkook's mom gave you guys simple instructions like beating the sugar and butter with a whisk, which Jungkook took over because your hand started to hurt, and gradually adding flour to the mixture, which ended with both of you guys covered in white flour because Jungkook turned the mixer too fast. After wishing your goodbyes, you both slightly shake off the flour, and you put the dough in the refrigerator. Apparently, you have to let it be firm.

“So now we have two hours to wait. I say we fuck.” Jungkook slaps your ass, making you squeal. “You’re horny??” Your hands make their way to his hair, slightly pulling. "Hm, maybe,” he whispers into your mouth, and he gives you a slow, wet kiss. “I’m still sore from earlier." I mumble in between kisses. “Was I too rough?” His rough hands massage your ass. You shrug your shoulders in his embrace.

“Christmas movie, then?” He asks, “I’m so down."

….

“Shit takes like ass,” you say, finishing up the cookie.

Your boyfriend looks around for the long-gone cookie. “I don't know; let’s ask the audience.” He looks around for the invisible camera. “Bitch!” You swat his arm, and he burst out laughing, holding on to his stomach.

“You literally ate that shit up.” His head is thrown back, and the most beautiful laugh roars out of him. “I will kill myself genuinely.” You chuckle while trying another cookie without the frosting you guys tried making from a tutorial on Google.

“The frosting is ass, cause this is a bomb,” you stuff your mouth with the remaining of the cookie humming at the taste. “Am I weird cause I fuck with the frosting?" He dips his pinky nto the bowl where the white frosting is before sucking it off. “Never mind actual shit." His nose scrunches in disgust, and his tongue sticks out, making you giggle.

"No, seriously, why is it so bad?” Jungkook takes a sip of the milk he had served not so long ago. “I have no clue, baby, but the sugar cookie itself slaps." You take your half eaten cookie up to your boyfriend's mouth and say, "Open, ahh." He immediately follows commands and opens before you shove his mouth with the golden cookie. “Mhm,” Jungkook's face scrunches as he bobs his head up and down, savoring the heart-shaped cookie.

“Probably the best cookie I had in a while, not gonna lie,” he states, taking a bite of the gingerman's head.

“Do we have cinnamon?” You make your way to the drawer where you keep all the spices. “ Found it,” you make your way back to the cookie before sprinkling some on your and Jungkook's cookies before taking a huge bite. “Oh my fuck," you moan.

"Oh, my fuck indeed.” Jungkook shoves the remaining cookie into his mouth, moaning at how it melted in his mouth. "Think, I just saw stars.” You say this while he side-eyes you. “Haha no.” He says that before picking you up on the counter, he settles in between your legs.

“Horny still?” You ask again, "Yes, very, I’ll be a gentle promise.” He leaves open-mouth kisses on your neck before slowly sucking.

“No marks.” You moan, your fingers slightly tugging on his hair and making him groan. “Scarf season, princess.” He looks up with a smirk on his face, then continues his actions, sucking and licking your soft spot. You bite your lip, trying to be quiet. Jungkook slowly grinds into your clothed pussy causing you to slip out a throaty moan. “Fuck—“ you throw your head back, your legs caging him closer to where you most need him. “I need you to lose the clothes and fuck me.” Jungkook chuckles at your demanding tone.

“Yeah? Want my cock already?” His hands rub on your thighs. You nod your head, looking down at the imprint of his now-hard cock. You reach for it, but Jungkook slaps your hand away, making you pout. “Patience princess,” Jungkook's hands tug on the band of your pajamas, pulling them down and taking your underwear along with it.

You squeal as your bare ass feels the cold counter top, and your boyfriend laughs before throwing the clothes somewhere on the ground.

Your pussy clenches over nothing, and you go to press your thighs together to relieve some of the tension, only for Jungkook to hold them wide open. He pulls his hard cock out of his pants, giving himself two pumps before slapping it on your wet center. Your gaze fixated on his dick on your pussy, your lips between your teeth moaning slightly when your boyfriend gives it another slap with his dick.

“So wet for me, baby,” he says, giving it another slap. "C'mere," Jungkook's picks you off the counter from your arms, “bend over. ” He orders.

You quickly follow his command, your juices dripping down your legs from how wet you were already. Jungkook spreads open your legs some more before making his way in between them, giving your ass a slap. “Fuck—“ you clench your thighs together as he soothes the red mark he just left. “Fuck, when are you going to let me fuck this ass.” Your boyfriend asks you, giving you another spank, making you squeak.

“Never,” you moan, making him chuckle under his breath. “Worth the try.” He jokes before sinking down into you, both moaning at the feeling. You felt so full. Jungkook is so big, stretching your pussy deliciously. “So big shit," you moan, your cheek pressed against the counter as he fills you up to the hilt. “You can take it, baby,” Jungkook says between gritted teeth. He felt you clenching around him, having him on the verge of coming right there in an instant.

“Always so good for me, baby. Want me to fuck you so good, huh?” He whispers into your ear, and you clench around him, earning you another spank, ripping a loud moan out of you. “Fuck me," you stutter over the pleasure your lower belly is feeling. “That’s what I like to hear, baby,” Jungkook says before pulling his cock out, just leaving the tip in before slamming into you. Your mouth hangs open as he repeats the movements over and over again. “Fuck just like that,” you grip to the edge of the counter, your eyes close immediately, as his rough hands compare to your smooth skin, hold tightly to the sides of your hips, pounding into you from behind.

“This cunt is mine, right?” Jungkook groans, sliding his cock in and out of your walls. You could only reply with a loud moan. But that’s not enough for Jungkook; your boyfriend wraps his hand around your hair, pulling you upward and arching your back in the process. “Use your words, princess.” He orders in your ear, his movements never halting.

"Fuck—your pussy! Only yours,” you spit out whatever words you could make a sentence out of. “Fucking you dumb, huh?” He lets go of your hair and moves his hand around your neck, adorning it like a necklace and applying some pressure. "Mhmm,” you moan, trying to open your eyes but shutting close after Jungkook slams into you again.

The room fills with the wet clapping sounds, groans, and moans that keep spilling out of your guys mouths. Your fingers find your sensitive clit, applying pressure and drawing small circles. "Fuck—I'm gonna come!” Your legs shake beneath Jungkook, and his arm wraps around your waist in case your legs give out on you.

“Yeah baby? Gonna come for me?” He slaps your hand away from your clit replacing it with his. Your back arches against him, and his cock continues hitting your g-spot repeatedly, sending you over the edge.

“Oh fuc—“ Your words are cut short when the pleasure in your belly finally snaps, and Jungkook's fingers furiously move on your pussy, making you scream into your hand. Wetness pools on your feet, dripping down your legs. “Fuck so hot when you squirt,” Jungkook continues fucking you through your orgasm, the overstimulation has you shaking underneath him. “Too much fu-fuck,” you head drops to the counter. You clench, sending Jungkook over the edge.

“Coming,” your boyfriend's head drops to your shoulder, his movements becoming sloppy, springs of cum shooting inside you, moaning at the feeling.

His movements come to a halt, his mind foggy, his cock throbbing when he pulls out, making you whine, feeling empty.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” Jungkook mutters under his breath as he sees his cum dripping out of your hole. Without a second thought, he shoves it back in with his index finger. “Aw shit,” you moan at the sensitivity.

He chuckles, kissing your shoulder blade. “You were so good for me, baby.” He leaves open-mouthed kisses all over your back, breathing heavily. You are trying to catch your breath, and your legs feel like jelly, not being able to move from your current position.

“Mhm,” you hum softly, your eyes closing. "Baby, don’t fall asleep on me,” Jungkook smiles at you, picking you up in bridal style, making you to squeal.

"How the fuck can you be so cute after just getting railed?” Your boyfriend moves your hair out of your face as you try to snuggle into his chest. “You play too much,” you mumble.

Jungkook lays you down on the bed before disappearing into your guys bathroom; a couple minutes later, coming out changed and with a warm rag in hand, “here, baby open,” he coos motioning to your legs. You do as he says. He slowly cleans and wipes your center, making you moan from oversensitivity. “Almost done,” he says before giving a last swipe and throwing the rag somewhere in the room.

“Do you want a pill, baby?” He asks against your cheek, to which you nod. He stands up, walking to your side of the closet and getting you something comfy to wear. “Here. Be right back.” Jungkook leaves the clothes next to you and leaves the room.

As you change into your clothes, Jungkook waltz’s in with an ibuprofen and a glass of water on his other hand. “Here,” he says, waiting for you to poke your head out of his hoodie before handing you the small pill.

You swallow the pill without any complaints before dropping down on the bed. “So tired.” Your eyes close before you even hit the pillow, making him chuckle. “Worn you out, huh?” He teases before dropping beside you, pulling the covers over both of you. You immediately cuddle up to his side, feeding off the warmth he radiates. Your leg is over his torso, and your hand is on his chest.

“I love you, princess.” He whispers into your hair, leaving a small kiss on your forehead. “I love you; now let’s go, mimi’s." You kiss his clothed chest, hoping he can still feel the kiss.

[floralcyanidee]

ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟɪᴘs, ᴍʏ ʟɪᴘs, ᴀᴘᴏᴄᴀʟʏᴘsᴇ - ᴄɪʟʟɪᴀɴ ᴍᴜʀᴘʜʏ

Young!Cillian Murphy x AFAB!Reader (NSFW)

A night over at your best friend, Cillian's, leads to something more than friendship but something less than romance. Will you ever tell him how you feel, or will you always just be friends with benefits?

warnings: smut, nipple play, fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, oral sex, cock warming, friends with benefits, friends to lovers, dirty talk, squirting, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, hair pulling, mentions of choking, love confessions

word count: 4409

author’s note: I'm shadowbanned on my main account everyone please clap (not for nsfw, I was flagged for spam yay) so I'll be posting on this shiny new blog, ao3, and wattpad for the time being. (those are both linked on my masterpost) hopefully I'll be unbanned soon because I've had my main tumblr for a decade and it has 2.5k followers on it and I'll fr cry my eyes out if I can't get unbanned!!! anyway please enjoy this!! I wrote a good chunk of this while at work this week. the horny really unleashes in the second part haha. please leave feedback if you enjoy! <3

PLEASE FOLLOW THIS BLOG. BUT ALSO, DO NOT UNFOLLOW MY MAIN BLOG!

main masterlist | cillian murphy masterlist | add yourself to the taglist here

Cillian’s lips hover over yours, and you can feel his warm breath hitting your face. His eyelashes almost touch your cheeks, and his nose is beside yours, barely brushing against it. 

“I want you so bad,” Cillian whispers, his hands finding your hips.

You have been friends since the 90s when Cillian first arrived in Hollywood, stumbling upon you at a local bar where you worked. Ever since, you’ve both been the best of friends. But tonight, that’s being challenged. The lights in Cillian’s place are dimmed, candles are lit, and wine is flowing through the two of you. Having a bit to drink in a comfortable setting isn’t out of the norm, but for some reason, tensions were high tonight. You could almost cut it with a knife. Everything about him is more mesmerizing tonight- his eyes, his freckles, the way he smiles. You needed him, and apparently, he needed you too. 

“Then have me,” you mutter against Cillian’s lips.

He chuckles humorlessly, shaking his head slightly, “I don’t want to ruin us.”

“You won’t,” you look down at his lips- they’re so close to yours that you can feel them move whenever he speaks.

“Promise?”

“I promise,” you breathe, grabbing hold of Cillian’s face as he finally puts his mouth on yours.

The kiss immediately becomes hungry, your teeth nearly clashing together as Cillian slips his tongue around yours. He’s gripping your hips fiercely, and his sideburns press pleasantly into your palms as you hold his head steady. Cillian pulls you onto his lap from your sitting position on the couch next to him, seating you firmly on his thighs. Your fingers find his hair, tugging it slightly as a small whimper vibrates in Cillian’s throat. The sound spurs you on, and you take over the kiss, dominating his tongue with yours. You explore his mouth and suck on his tongue harshly, pulling away from the embrace to catch your breath.

“Fuck,” Cillian curses, leaning his forehead against yours, “You’re good at this.”

You scoff, putting both your hands on his cheeks as you trace your thumb along his sharp cheekbones, “And to think you would’ve never known.”

“Not necessarily,” Cillian looks you in the eyes, “I would’ve gotten you one way or another.”

“Then why have you waited so long, then? Hmm?” you ask.

“I value our friendship,” Cillian admits.

“I do, too, Cill. But god, if I had known you were so good at kissing, I would’ve done it ages ago,” you smirk, running your finger across his bottom lip.

His eyes follow your movements before they flick up to yours, darkening, “I’m not just good at that.”

His words shoot straight to your lower belly, warmth spreading through you, “Is that right?”

“Mhmm,” Cillian pulls you closer to his chest, your core settling right on his.

“Show me.”

Cillian attacks your lips again, this time biting down on your lower lip and rolling it between his teeth. You watch his face as he does it, his icy eyes becoming a darker shade of blue. His hand moves from your hip to your hair, his fingers sliding through your locks before they tighten, pulling your head backward to expose your neck. Cillian leaves hot, open-mouthed kisses along the column of your neck, licking a stripe up the side before he bites at the skin, leaving a small bruise to form below your jaw. You squirm slightly at the feeling of his teeth pressing into your skin, dangerously close to breaking its surface. Cillian then kisses your collarbones, stopping when he reaches the neck of your shirt, well, his shirt. You always took from his wardrobe, whether it was a beanie, t-shirt, or hoodie that he forgot he had. He slides his hand from your hip to underneath the shirt, pressing his palm to your feverish skin and pushing it up slowly until he reaches your breast. 

“No bra?” Cillian asks, surprised.

“I never wear a bra when I’m over here,” you admit, “I’m surprised you’ve never noticed.”

“I’m glad I never noticed, or else I’d be underneath your shirt constantly,” Cillian pulls his hand from your hair to move it under the shirt along with the other.

“Doesn’t sound too bad to me,” you giggle, but it’s cut off by a quiet moan when Cillian grasps your breasts.

Cillian brushes his thumbs over your nipples, circling the buds as they harden under his touch. You hum, letting your head fall back at the sensation. Cillian pushes the shirt up and over your chest, and you help him pull it all the way off, tossing it somewhere in the living room. Immediately, Cillian latches onto one of your nipples, toying with the other one with his fingers. Electricity shoots to your still-clothed core, and you know that Cillian can feel you beginning to throb through your thin shorts. His playing with your breasts could get you off alone; his touch is like nothing you’ve ever felt before. It’s sometimes sensual and soft and rough and firm when needed. Cillian grazes his teeth over the sensitive bud, pulling it toward him as you let out a yelp. You involuntarily bare down on his lap and feel him growing harder underneath you. He lands a slap to your breast, and you gasp, hands going to grip his biceps to ground yourself. 

“I can feel you getting excited,” Cillian teases, raising his hips a little to let all your weight sit on him momentarily.

“What are you gonna do about it, then?” you stifle a moan at his bulge pressing into your clit harshly.

Cillian pushes you off his lap and onto the couch, where he spreads your legs and yanks your shorts down your thighs, discarding them wherever the shirt also previously went. He pulls your calves onto his shoulders, laying on his chest between your thighs. His breath hits your dampened underwear, sending goosebumps across your skin. You bite your lip as Cillian plays with the edges of your underwear right against where you need him most. He toys with the fabric, letting his fingers barely touch you underneath. 

“I’ve waited so long for this,” Cillian confesses, his intense eyes flickering up to your face.

You feel your cheeks burn, “Me too.”

Cillian smiles his typical beautiful smile, teeth and all, as he pulls your underwear down your legs painfully slow, “I’ve always imagined how wet you’d get just from me teasing you.”

You bite back a whimper as he removes your underwear from your legs, letting them fall to the floor. 

“You’d get soaked from me playing with your pussy, rubbing your clit slowly, and eating you out until you cry,” Cillian lets his filthy words fall from his lips as you shiver from them, wanting to close your legs subconsciously.

But they were perched on Cillian’s shoulders, and he was about to go in for the kill. He kneads your thigh before pushing it to the side, letting it drape off the edge of the couch and opening you up further to him. Cillian’s fingers brush against your hardening clit like it’s the most delicate thing in the world, making you tremble as you grunt from the sensual feeling.

“Please,” you sigh, your hips jerking up when Cillian pulls his hand away.

“Please, what?”

“Touch me, Cill. God, I need you to touch me.”

Cillian strokes your entrance with his index finger, gathering your wetness before dragging it up to your clit. He circles the bundle of nerves slowly, making you whine above him. 

“So wet already,” Cillian moans, “You’re so beautiful.”

You throw your head back against the arm of the couch when Cillian finally replaces his finger with the tip of his tongue, going around and around the sensitive bud, never coming directly in contact with it. He changes his mind about that and starts to lap at your clit, flicking his tongue over it as his fingers travel back to your now-dripping entrance. Cillian hums in satisfaction at the feeling of your arousal seeping out of you at his expense. He flattens his tongue and licks a fat stripe up your slit before swirling his tongue around your clit, his tongue still flat and giving your entire bundle of nerves attention. Cillian probes you with a single finger, pushing it in as you moan his name. He pumps it in and out of you, curling it against your g spot with every thrust. He adds a second finger, and the sound of your wetness grows louder, mixing with your breathy moans and Cillian’s pants. 

“Say my name again,” Cillian bites his lip, watching as his soaked fingers move in and out of you.

“Cillian,” you whine, moving your hips along with his fingers.

“That’s right, fuck yourself on my fingers, darling,” he says, adding a third finger in you.

To say you‘re a mess is an understatement. You need Cillian inside you, as your walls are clenching around his fingers with desperation. You grab his shirt, “Fuck me, please.”

“Thought you’d never ask,” Cillian smirks, lifting his shirt off his lean body before standing up to tug his pants and underwear down and off his legs. 

Cillian teases your clit with his leaking head before lining himself up with you. He looks at you with an unsure expression, and you nod in response to the unspoken question. He slowly pushes himself into you, your warmth already fluttering around him. Cillian guides himself all the way to his hilt, letting out a throaty groan when he feels his entire length surrounded by your velvety walls. His hands run up and down your abdomen, stopping when he palms over your breasts. They’re still sensitive from the previous activity and your growing arousal, causing you to wriggle when Cillian’s fingers deftly pinch at both your nipples as he slowly pulls himself almost out of you entirely before slamming back into you. You cry out, your hands flying to where his back meets his shoulders, nails digging softly into his flesh. Cillian moans when you clench harshly around him when he tugs at your nipple particularly hard. 

“You like these pretty titties to be played with, huh?” Cillian runs his tongue along his bottom lip as he watches your face twist in pleasure when he pulls at the sensitive skin.

You nod, but he lets go of your breasts, running his hands over your body before his hand snakes between the two of you, rubbing tight circles on your clit. You let out a throaty moan, and Cillian curses under his breath as his hips snap against yours at a steady rhythm. 

“Fuuuuck,” you drawl, eyes rolling into the back of your head as your body heaves into the couch from the velocity of Cillian’s perfect cock slamming into you without mercy, “You feel so good inside of me.”

You push Cillian up and off you, shoving him onto the couch behind him. You climb on his lap, throwing your legs over his thighs as you line him back up with your aching cunt. Feeling him stretch you out completely while at a different angle makes you moan uncontrollably as you set a pace, riding Cillian as if your life depended on it. Your ass slaps his hips as he guides them up and down, thrusting into you dead-on. Cillian’s tip hits your cervix flawlessly, and you feel that tightness in your belly. 

“Cum inside me, Cillian,” you swivel your hips, “Fill me up and make me yours.”

“Gonna cum around my cock first?” Cillian’s lips are swollen from incessantly biting as he watches you fuck yourself on him.

You decide you’ll milk him for all he’s got and lean down to land a bruising kiss on his lips. Both of you pant into each other’s mouths as you near your peak, reaching underneath you to flick your clit. Cillian grips your ass as you feel yourself unravel, your orgasm ripping through you. Your walls cave in on CIllian’s length, causing him to reach his own orgasm before he’s ready. He squirms underneath you as you continue to bounce on his cock, coaxing every drop of cum out of him. 

“Fuck,” Cillian exhales as he runs a hand through his sweaty hair, looking just as fucked out as you.

You lay down on his chest, him still inside you. He doesn’t bother moving either; the feeling of you still cloaked around him made him dizzy. Cillian is still trying to wrap his head around how this is real. He also is trying to figure out where to go from here. He’s terrified of telling you his true feelings for you, fearing you won’t want to be friends anymore. Obviously, tonight the dynamic has changed from just friendship between the two of you. 

“I can’t tell you how long I’ve been waiting for that,” you trace shapes into Cillian’s bare chest, peering up at him when he doesn’t answer. 

He appears deep in thought.

“Everything okay?” you ask, furrowing your eyebrows at the man underneath you.

Cillian nods, his hand finding your hair before stroking it softly, “Just thinking.”

“About?” you rest your chest on his collarbone.

“How much I’d like to do this again,” Cillian says, and you chuckle.

“That can be arranged,” you leave a kiss on his neck, his eyes meeting yours through his eyelashes.

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship, though,” Cillian says worriedly.

“You haven’t ruined anything. And I’ve had just as much to do with this as you,” you say, putting your finger under Cillian’s chin to look at him directly, “You’re still my best friend.”

“And you’re fine with whatever this is?”

“It’s the best of both worlds,” you shrug with a smile. 

Cillian moves to sit up against the couch's armrest still sheathed inside you. And as you start yet another make out session and begin to rock your hips with your walls still hugging his cock, you try not to think. The idea that you must hide your feelings for Cillian even more is hard to wrap your mind around.

But little did you know, he was having the same problem. He tries not to think about it as he thrusts into you sloppily, letting you ride him as you please. 

—

“Jesus, shit!”

“God, you’re so fucking drenched. All of this for me?”

“Uh-huh,” you whimper, letting out a pornographic moan as one of Cillian’s hands holds your swollen cunt open while the other rubs at it vigorously.

“Just like that-” Cillian moans at the sounds you’re letting out, “Need you to cum on my face, pretty thing.”

You cry out, rocking your hips against Cillian’s merciless hand as it flies across your pussy with no sign of stopping. He pokes out his middle finger to catch your clit with every swipe of his hand. Your orgasm explodes in your stomach, your core gushing cum as Cillian hurries to dip his face down. He latches his mouth onto your cunt, flicking his tongue over your bundle of nerves, causing you to squirt again. 

“Fuuuck,” you squeal, your hands gripping Cillian’s hair like a vice.

Cillian can’t get enough. He’s not gonna lie, he thinks he’s absolutely obsessed with making you squirt. He could do it all night and still get off at the sight. Cillian laps at your pussy, spreading his tongue around your folds, stimulating the sensitive area further.

“Cill, I’m gonna cum again,” you warn, but Cillian just keeps his eyes closed as he sneaks two fingers inside you.

His fingertips brush against your g spot and send you over the edge a third time, and Cillian’s nipping at your clit causes you to gush again. You were slightly embarrassed but incredibly turned on by it. And you know Cillian is relishing in it, literally and figuratively. He pulls away from you, a little reluctantly, and wipes his mouth and face with the back of his arm. You grab his face and pull him into you as he collapses on your naked, heaving chest. You stare at Cillian, the light from the side table’s lamp shining into his eyes just right. They’re returning to an arctic blue as his heart rate calms, his pupils going back to normal size. Cillian stares back at you, studying your features just as you are his. Freckles sprinkle Cillian’s cheeks and nose, dotting along his forehead and chin as well. His lips are red and swollen, and he’s sporting a lopsided smile as he looks at you. 

“You’re perfect,” you whisper, combing your fingers through his hair, “Literally everything you do, say, and how you look is just flawless. Are you sure you aren’t an angel?” you joke.

A smile spreads upon Cillian’s face as his cheeks tinge pink, the warmth traveling to his ears, “I’m not perfect by any means, and no, I’m not an angel,” he says, his accent thick and raspy from the previous exertion. 

“Mmm, I’m not sure about that,” you say as CIllian softly kisses your neck.

God, I love you, you want to say. Because you do; you love him. You always have, but sharing such intimate moments with Cillian has just strengthened the feeling you already had. You’re honestly exhausted but still blissed out from Cillian going absolutely feral on you. You have never squirted before, and if you could, you’d let him make you squirt all night. You’d watch as your arousal covers his pretty face, delighting him much like it did earlier. Cillian looked like a kid in a candy store as you gushed for him. 

“I’ve never squirted before, so,” you mutter, covering your face with your hands, “Yeah, I’d consider that angelic.”

“Really?” Cillian asks incredulously, “Never? Not even by yourself?”

“Especially not by myself,” you chuckle, uncovering your face to look at Cillian, “You’re better than any vibrator or dildo I own.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Cillian bites your jaw playfully before reaching down and grabbing the duvet, covering the both of you with it.

He rolls off you, much to your dismay. But he immediately pulls you into his chest, holding you tightly with his arms as if you’ll disappear. Cillian slides a leg between yours, his knee pressed against you softly. He rubs his nose against your ear, “Still wet, pretty?”

“Shut up,” you mutter shyly, burying your face in his arms.

“Only if you make me,” Cillian teases you, nipping at your earlobe.

You groan, “Too tired,” you feel Cillian’s hand travel down your navel to gauge how wet you still are, “I don’t think I can move.”

“Who said you had to move?” Cillian asks, pulling your thigh up until your leg is draped over his hip, spreading you open for perfect access.

Before you can ask him to touch you, Cillian lines his length up with your still-needy cunt. You’re surprised you had any remainder of horniness left in you. But there’s something about Cillian that naturally turns you on. You’ve noticed it’s gotten more intense now that he’s your sexual partner. It’s like you can’t get enough of him, and he can’t get enough of you, either. Cillian nudges his tip into you before letting it glide in without a hitch. The way you’re laying makes the angle at which he’s inside of you feel irresistible. You let Cillian play with your still-sensitive clit as his hips snap into your ass. His hot, heavy breath is in your ear as he fucks you slowly. You toss your arm behind you, grabbing the back of Cillian’s neck for leverage as you turn your head around. His lips meet yours hungrily, and he swallows your guttural moans as you fuck yourself on his cock. Cillian’s other hand snakes from underneath you, his fingers wrapping around your throat. He doesn’t press them into your skin but lets them rest there, almost possessively. 

You’ve been exploring each other’s bodies ever since the first night you had sex- trying different angles and positions. But you told Cillian that you didn’t want anything rough. That was reserved for a romantic relationship. Cillian felt a twinge of hurt in his chest when you said that, as if you had meant you weren’t planning on a romantic relationship with him specifically. But he understood and respected your boundaries despite his weird sadness about not being able to do certain things with you. Cillian thought it odd because you were not his, so he had no right to hurt you consensually or mark you as his. So, he shouldn’t be so upset about it. Yet he is because he wants you to trust him with everything you have, and he wants to take care of you after the roughness. Cillian wants you to be taken care of. But he knows his limits and that he can’t break the rules of the friends-with-benefits situation. So Cillian doesn’t choke you during sex, or slap you, or kiss you outside the bedroom- especially in public. He bites his tongue every time you do something that melts his heart. He refrains from saying those three little words every day. Cillian has no idea how much you wished he would break the rules just once or how you wished he’d say he loves you. 

Something comes over you, though. You reach a hand up and cover Cillian’s that is on your neck and press his fingers into the sides of your throat. You sigh contently as your head becomes cloudy from the lack of blood flow to your head. Cillian stops rubbing your clit and takes your hand from over his, slipping his fingers between yours and pinning it in front of you.

You whimper in detest, and Cillian nips at the skin behind your ear, “Naughty thing. Don’t break your own rules, sweetheart.”

You sigh in defeat, but before you can pout, a moan rips through your chest. Cillian pushed your clave up into your thigh, thus making it easier for him to ram his cock against your cervix in a way that sends stars floating across your vision. Your hand squeezes his as you feel your release creeping up.

“I’m gonna cum,” you whisper, watching as Cillian’s length moves in and out of you quickly.

It was erotic yet romantic, him being so close to you and inside you. You and Cillian are now one, but you wish things were different. 

“Good,” Cillian kisses the back of your neck, his nose drawing circles in your skin delicately.

You breathe deeply, feeling your stomach clench. You cry out Cillian’s name as you unravel, his fingers pressing to your clit. Your body trembles and shakes as he continues his assault on the bundle of nerves, still chasing after his own high as he keeps thrusting into you. Your back arches, toes curling as another wave of pleasure hits you. 

“You’re doing so good, angel,” Cillian praises in your ear, “Taking my cock so well. I’m almost there, just hold on.”

The feeling of Cillian exploding inside you sends you over the edge for the third and final time. Stars erupt behind your eyelids, your body convulsing from pleasure. Your pussy clenches around him as he rides out his orgasm, panting in your ear. He almost doesn’t hear you say it. Almost.

“Fuck, I love you,” you whine quietly.

You gasp, immediately realizing what’s slipped from your mouth in a shroud of cloudy pleasure. But you hide your gasp as you catch your breath, inhaling and exhaling sharply. You pray to whatever is out there that Cillian didn’t hear you proclaim your feelings in a vulnerable moment.

Cillian grunts as he pulls out of you, letting your leg go limp and relax back on the bed. He keeps his hand entangled with yours. But you pull your grasp out of his, turning around and facing him. You hurriedly bury your face in his chest so you can’t look at him and see how he’s possibly reacting to your words. Cillian wordlessly wraps his arms around you, pulling you even closer to him. You fight the urge to cry at the silence of the dimly lit room as Cillian tugs the duvet over your sweaty, naked bodies. You try and steady your breath and keep your heart from racing.

“Can you say it again?” Cillian finally asks after several minutes of dead silence.

You lift your head from his chest, looking at him confused, “Say what?”

Cillian looks at you seriously before lifting his hand to touch your face gingerly, “What you said a moment ago.”

“You didn’t hear that, did y-”

“I did. But I want you to say again.”

Tears brim your eyes as you feel heaviness in your chest- will he make fun of you? Did you just ruin everything?

You let out a choked sob, hiding your face in his neck, “I love you. I fucking love you. There, I said it,” you slam your fist against his chest. “Feel free to hate me, but it’s true.”

“I could never hate you, gorgeous,” Cillian pulls away from you, his hands grabbing your cheeks so you’re looking directly at him.

His eyelashes flutter against your cheekbones, much like they did the first time you kissed him weeks ago. You blink away your tears, but Cillian wipes them away with his thumbs.

“I love you too,” Cillian confesses, “I love you so much. You know that?”

Your lips tremble as you nod, but Cillian presses his forehead against yours, and you try to ground yourself. He loves you. Cillian loves you back. Cillian kisses your lips gently as if he’d break you. You grasp his hair, kissing him back passionately.  

“I love you,” you say, pulling away from his lips and kissing his eyelids instead.

“I love everything about you,” you brush your lips across his cheeks, then kiss his nose, “Your angel kisses. Your beautiful eyes. Everything about you. I wasn’t lying when I said you’re perfect.”

Cillian laughs, and you melt at his smile.

“You,” Cillian says, “Are everything to me. Everything that brings me joy, everything that makes me happy.”

You wrap your arms around Cillian’s neck, pulling him close to you as you tuck your face into his neck.

“Never let go,” Cillian says, his arms snaking around your waist and holding you close.

“I won’t,” you say, a heaviness lifting from your chest at last, “I never will.”

taglist:

@baizzhu @aporiasposts @hjmalmed @queenshelby @amanda08319 @naty-1001 @orijanko @raineeace @nela-cutie @cutexlr @flwrs4aust @langdons-slut @shynovelist

[fryingpan1234567]

listen I knowwww Roach should be British. he was on a British task force. he’s got the flag on his uniforms. but when @fixfoxnox said southerner Roach I just couldn’t not love him okay leave me alone

anyways. southerner Roach shenanigans

(I guess you could call this a Something in the Orange fanfic since he’s besties with Jackson in this scenario as well as dating Ghost and Soap……… but it’s general enough it’s probably fine ANYWAYS)

Roach’s accent, while it normally only lightly flavors a few of his words, gets considerably thicker when he’s visiting home

I mean like he does the thing southerners do where they somehow mash entire sentences into one word and the others are just like “……….what” but Jackson is nodding like he understood

Like. They’re all at dinner together somewhere. Somebody brings up the rodeo at the state fair. The Europeans have no idea what they’re talking about. Roach just goes “y’ain’tneverheardadat??” and Soap nearly has a stroke trying to figure out what he meant but Jackson continues to eat soundly like he didn’t hear anything wrong

COWBOY👏 HAT👏 RULE👏

HELP

No no no they go to some random dive bar for one of their birthdays. It doesn’t matter whose. Jackson and Roach both have cowboy hats because OBVIOUSLY and like. They exchange this look that the others can’t figure out whenever one of their boyfriends steals their hat via flirting

(They tell them later and then can’t stop laughing while Soap and Ghost and Gaz are just sitting there like uh oh)

After that the hat stealing is very much purposeful

Square dancing to fucking Timber by Kesha and Pitbull in said dive bar because that’s just required idk what to tell you

Soap and Ghost seeing Roach ride a horse for the first time and visibly bluescreen

Roach recognizing people from high school in his hometown even tho he hasn’t seen them in like 20 years

He likes Taylor Swift but only her old country-adjacent stuff

Ghost and Soap couldn’t figure out his aversion to any kind of substitute milk until he took them home and they found out it’s because he grew up drinking milk that literally came from the cows he has in his backyard. They own two cows. And a few chickens. Very resourceful

Jackson and Roach dragging the 141 to Roach’s family’s Super Bowl party one year because in the southern states it’s a huge fucking deal

The Europeans being like “………this is quite possibly one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen in my life” but their boys are having fun so it’s okay

God help the rest of them. Jackson and Roach are rooting for opposite teams.

There’s screaming, there’s wrestling on the living room floor, there’s spilling food and beer everywhere. The amount of rubbing it in after a touchdown lands is fucking crazy, and they’ve shouted about stabbing each other every single time

Eventually, maybe with a bit of googling, the others get into it. Soap hasn’t stopped shoving Mrs. Roach’s buffalo chicken dip in his face since he’d discovered it when they’d arrived, and Ghost was letting the kids use his tattoo like a coloring page while he chatted with Roach’s dad and brothers. Gaz kept getting elbowed in the ribs whenever Roach and Jackson tousled on the couch, and a couple times he was asked to hold Jackson’s beer so “I can kick some sense into this dipshit,” usually followed by Roach’s maniacal cackling. Price was banging around in the kitchen with Mrs. Roach. Nobody knew how he’d gotten dragged into that, but he seemed to be enjoying himself

On the topic of bringing the boys home to the fam oh my GODS thanksgiving

Ghost is not a dessert person. He’s never been a dessert person. But he had four slices of Mr. Roach’s apple pie, so,,,,,,,,, apparently he is actually a dessert person

Obvi Roach is good with all guns, but he was hunting with his dad and brothers by the time he was like six. He knows how to work a shotgun like he breathes

(Ahem being southern is why he’s so fucking stubborn btw if anyone was wondering)

Roach and Jackson both are religious Dolly Parton listeners

“DID U GUYS KNOW SHE WROTE JOLENE AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU ON THE SAME DAY—“

Ghost and Soap wake up one night because there’s a weird noise outside. They poke Roach awake like “???? what was that??” and he was just like “oh yeah the woods make noises sometimes. don’t worry about it. if something actually wanted to kill you, you wouldn’t hear it coming” and promptly passed back out

“Yea I’ve seen a skinwalker before” “FYM YOU’VE S E E N O N E ? “ “It was in my backyard?? Relax it just wanted the coyote that always tries to kill our chickens. I didn’t really mind”

Gaz suggests investigating a weird figure he saw in the woods. Roach laughs out loud and Jackson smacks him in the back of the head like “that’s how you fucking die you idiot”

“Y’all’re lucky we’re here to stop you from doing somethin’ stupid. Fuckin’ city slickers” “What did you just call me”

The deafening sounds of crickets and locusts puts Roach to sleep almost instantly every night. Ghost barely sleeps every time they visit.

”IT IS SO FUCKING LOUD IF ONE MORE BLOODY CRICKET—“ “Simon not everyone needs literal dead silence to sleep—“

No matter how many pillows he stacks on top of his head he can’t escape it

Oh. Oh. The Europeans CANNOT do southern heat. They’re passed out on the porch while Jackson and Roach and Roach’s brothers play football in the front yard

Roach makes killer lemonade and iced tea nobody talk to me

He has a rusty blue ancient pickup that he says is his baby. One of the wheels is misshapen and the bed squeaks dangerously every time they hit a pothole, but he won’t get rid of it EVER

Roach introduces Soap and Ghost to catching fireflies in jars with his nieces and nephews. They are. So in love with the concept.

It gets turned into a competition, because of course it does, and it looked like Ghost was going to win— but then the youngest of the participating children silently held up a jar that was too bright to look at and audibly buzzing from the amount of bugs inside of it. They cut their losses and embrace the fact that they’ll never be That Good

Southern👏 sunsets👏 there ain’t nothing like it

Soap has a sketchbook dedicated entirely to doodling Roach doing farm things

Roach had a horse he took care of in high school. Her name was Peaches and he literally cried when he found pictures of her in his room

Ghost LOVES the sweet old border collie Roach’s parents have. That dog has seen many a stampede, and he’s herded just as many. What a man. Ghost does not leave him alone Ever

gods fuck me bro I could literally talk about southern Roach F O R E V E R (idk if you can tell from the long ass post Jesus Christ)

good morning/ night/ 4am lmk if you want more of this

[red-write-hand]

Modern!Tommy headcanons

(this could just be my thoughts splat onto a page but have fun! also no beta read we die like tommy's sexuality the moment he saw alfie solomons)

If that man could take his computer to bed with him, he would

He runs on cigarettes and coffee

I feel like he would totally have those machines that are super intricate about making coffee

Usually an apple loyalist but buys add-ons from others (think headphones, charging cables, other Bluetooth items)

Listens to The Neighborhood, Drake, Hozier, Eminem, The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Kendrick Lamar, Bastille

Exclusively buys from Boss, started as a joke with his brothers but then he realized he really likes the suits he bought

Owns a bunch of clubs and knows about the best clubs to go to if you want a good time

Likes to eat expensive food but will never turn down Italian take out at horrible hours of the night

Absolutely owns a pair of those Bluetooth Raybans that play music discreetly

Favorite movies are the Tobey Maguire Spidermans, Star Wars (only the New Hope, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, Revenge of the Sith, and Rise of Skywalker)

Has better figured out his own mental health and sexuality

this👏man👏is👏bisexual👏 (it radiates off him, takes one to know one)

since it is more widely accepted, he feels a little better about it

he absolutely had his first bi panic when he would banter with Freddie

that and EVERY interaction with Alfie

alfie bought him a tiny pride flag which he keeps in his desk, right next to his incredibly expensive alcohol ~x fem!Reader headcanons (m! in part 2)~ warnings: kinda unethical office workplace relationship?

its become a joke of sorts about being tommy's secretary around his family

this all stemmed from him taking an interest in you when you applied

you really were gorgeous to him

you're the only person he is slightly comfortable around besides the Blinders or his own family

the longer you work with him, the more comfortable he gets

after awhile, he (politely, our boy is respectful) asks you to call him Tommy instead of 'Mr. Shelby'

he is one of the most sought after men in the city which makes him very alluring to most

you don't super see it, he's always been very "normal" around, not the silver tongued devil most people knew him as

it wasn't that you didn't like him, you really did, his gorgeous frame, his perfect eyes, his slender fingers, his dark hair, everything was amazing except for the fact that he never really showed any interest in you, to him (you thought), you were his secretary, nothing more

oh how wrong you were

this all changes one late night, him still tirelessly working and you still there making sure that he doesn't stay there all night

it doesn't take much for him to just keep running on fumes so it usually falls upon you to remind him what god awful hour it is

you gently crack open the door and poke your head in

"Hey, Tommy, it's almost 1, pack it up and get some actual sleep."

He rolled his neck and closed his computer, just before packing everything up, he stops

"Cmon 'ere"

It was simple and you knew what could happen if something were to go down but you could find a new job if you had to

The Shelby building was quiet and the only office with any lights on was his

You leaned on the side of his desk and he opens the big drawer at the bottom

He procures the bottle of probably very expensive alcohol and starts pouring you one

"Why do you stay so late? Making sure I go home isn't in your contract."

You thought about it, it had become such a part of your daily cycle

"I guess I've just gotten used to it. Seemed like the right things to do after awhile."

He thanks you quietly and hands your glass of the whiskey he had poured

This was the softest you had ever seen him, you decided to capitalize off of it

"I've never understood it, why are you so comfortable with me Tommy?"

He nods slowly, knowing he would have to explain himself soon

"Polly says I don't 'ave my head straight yet, so my answer won't do you much good."

You, of course, weren't satisfied with that answer so you decided to play a hunch

By this hour of the night, his hair was rather disheveled so you tentatively ran your finger through it, fixing it for him

a small smirk bloomed on your lips when his expression seemed to soften more

This sort of tension was now a pattern for the two of you

The tension got to such a height that after awhile, late at night, he would just pull you into his lap and have his hand wrapped around your waist

You like to run your hands through his hair or trace his jaw with your fingertip

this is just how it is for the two of you and both of you like that <3

[apollosfavkiddo]

you wanted headcanons? 🤭 i got you 😽

how about a jason grace x apollo!reader set of headcanons!!

:’)

⛧° jason grace x daughter of Apollo! hcs

⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧

⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧

content: Jason Grace x apollo!reader hcs

warnings: BAD BAD BAD, slightly possessive jason, reader is implied to be blonde

a/n: i hc that every child of apollo has the hair at least a little lighter than usual. like, it's not jet black nor a super brown, they have light brown or blonde hair. and i used this on this hcs! i'm so sorry if u don't like it, but i took this creative liberty... anyways, enjoy!

word count: 0,8k

⛧° 。 ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆༺♱༻⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ 。°⛧

now playing… midnight rain - taylor swift

blondie met blonder, they fell in love, and they had blondini 

jk, jk, no kids... yet  

you were aware of who was jason grace, like everyone around camp 

one of the Heroes of Olympus, son of jupiter, always looking for his friends and family, creating sanctuaries for the minor gods, hot as hell, as you heard from your siblings 

i mean, you obviously wouldn’t go around asking anyone 

because in reality you haven’t even saw him yet, since he was always so busy going between camps 

but one day the oh so awaited encounter came to reality  

you spent most of your days at the infirmary, since your healing powers were quite... impressive, to say the least 

you were one of the best healers around, if not the ultimate best 

so, you obviously had to come running towards the hurt kid, who happened to be your friend, leo valdez 

you were almost a hundred percent sure that he hurt himself at bunker nine, and only because he had a crush on one of your sisters – alyssa. and it wasn’t even an assumption he really did liked her, as he himself told you about it 

but you were surprised to see a certain blonde boy carrying him through the infirmary doors with leo’s foot blackish purple and swollen  

you quickly went to him and gestured towards an empty bed, which the blonde – that you figured it’d be Jason, leo’s best friend – put him on and sat beside him 

you didn’t spare much time to look at jason, but he had a scowl on his face as if saying “I’m so disappointed on you” with only his eyes  

“oh, for my father’s music, what in the hades happened to you, valdez?” you asked, your voice laced with concern and a little bit of reprehension 

“where’s aly?” the shorter boy asked, earning a snort from jason 

“you dropped a wrench to your foot to see the girl you got a crush on? my gods, valdez. thought you were over that.” the taller boy said, and his deep voice gained him a glance from you 

and that’s when you fell in love for the first time 

his blonde hair was even lighter than yours, his skin slightly tanned and his muscles... oh GODS. and that jawline that could easily cut a diamond 

he was easily the most handsome man you ever saw on your entire life.  

and trust me, he thought the exact same about you 

the difference is that he had noticed you long ago 

it was a rainy day on camp half-blood, right after capture the flag 

jason had gotten himself hurt. It was something minor in his eyes, but piper insisted that he should go on the infirmary to check 

well, thanks gods he did went to the infirmary that day, since he had a broken rib and a bruised face  

you weren’t the one to treat him, but he did saw you taking care of the other injured people from the game, and from that moment on he was completely and utterly WHIPPED for you  

like, he’d stalk you around, discover all your agenda for the day and just follow you around, without you even knowing who the hell he was  

so, after the day that leo almost broke his foot trying to get alyssa’s attention, you and jason started to hang out  

but in the beginning, it was only around leo, too, so you two could mock the latino boy about his stupidly obvious crush on alyssa 

but soon that friendship went beyond hanging out just around leo, who was more than happy now so he wouldn’t be the third wheel  

and every day you just fell more in love with jason  

and he also fell completely and totally HEAD OVER HEELS for you 

and when you guys finally made a move, the whole camp was happy  

except for leo, who now was officially third wheeling  

but have you heard that song midnight rain by taylor swift? That goes like “he was sunshine, i was midnight rain”? 

yeah, that song is YOU 

but this time the roles are a little reversed, seeming that it was “she was sunshine, he was midnight rain” 

but you were quite literally the perfect couple 

the golden girl of camp half-blood and the golden boy of camp jupiter  

a match made in heaven  

oh and your dad was more than happy when he discovered that you were dating jason  

his #1 otp, fr  

and look how perfect 

you and will are siblings  

jason and nico are basically brothers  

so... double dates obvi??? 

also he’d be telling everyone like “oh you know the BEST HEALER AT CAMP? Yeah, she’s my girl” 

walking with an arm around your waist ALL THE TIME 

he's like ‘gotta show the world you’re mine, love’ 

being a daughter of apollo gains you lots of unwanted attention for being pretty as hell  

so whenever he sees someone hitting on you he’d be like NUH UH, that girl is MINE. Bitch  

oh, and you literally make his days lighter and brighter  

with all your smileness and cuteness  

oh, the it couple fr.

a/n pt2: this one's bad and i HATE it but idc

[kedsandtubesocks]

seasons of you (year 1 - winter)

Blacksmith!Frankie Morales x F!Reader

summary: your first winter in the valley brings in a frosty breeze & a push towards a certain blacksmith

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI, stardew valley AU, reader is a farmer & has a family but no physical description, shy & sweet!Frankie, major pining & yearning, friends to something more, Frankie being previously married/a bit secretive about his life, gift exchange as love language, use of nickname (Frankie calls reader “little farmer” affectionately but it’s no reflection on reader’s size), blooming romance

word count: 5.6k

a/n: we’ve arrived to Frankie’s first piece in our Stardew AU series! We’re starting ‘in the middle of things’ & it’s meant to show how slow/shy our relationship with Frankie unfolds that romance just starts rolling now, plus I needed Frankie’s story to begin this way so something else can maybe unfold in year two but that’s all I’m gonna saying lol, again couldn’t have done this without @lowlights @swiftispunk @perotovar & @burntheedges you babes are my guiding stars always and I’m eternally grateful. And to you, if you’re reading this, thank you too lovely

Snow crunches under your boots and the chilly air seeping through your coat feels different. This would be your first serious winter storm and you already sense it approaching.

Yanking open the blacksmith’s door, a wave of heat washes over and you sigh.

Thankfully Frankie’s shop is still open and you almost cry relieved.

“Sorry!” You apologize walking further towards the counter. “I know there’s five minutes left before closing, but I just wanted to swing by!”

You wanted to pick up your newly forged ax before the storm hit and of course…

You wanted to see him.

Autumn kept you so busy with the farm and the fall festival. Now you hope to see more of your favorite blacksmith.

Waiting for him, your eyes wander.

The shop, with its eternal flame flickering, holds so much personality in its walls. A military pilot flag hangs by the front. The low radio plays a soft rock ballad. A bulletin board by the side of the counter is covered in various flyers and photos. Your favorite snapshots are one of a smiling little baby girl with sweet chubby cheeks you still haven’t gotten to ask Frankie who she is. There’s another photo of a group of men in military uniform.

It’s all so familiar and welcoming now.

With all the time in the mines, you wonder if maybe your pickaxe needs work too. Sliding your backpack off, you examine your trusty tool. Worn, but not weathered, the steel speaks of the craftsmanship and skill of the blacksmith who first forged it for you.

“You waiting for that tool to do something or should I leave you two alone?”

Frankie.

You fight back a smile when his warm deep teasing voice floats in.

Frankie wasn’t this easy going with you at first. He kept his distance, was polite but rather reserved.

“He’s just shy. He was like that when I first moved in too,” Leah, your closest friend here in the valley, reassured you one night at the saloon.

Now those beautiful gem eyes of Francisco Morales blaze straight at you as he walks towards the counter. Wearing his trademark baseball cap you playfully glare at him.

“I’m just checking to see if I need to complain to my blacksmith about my pickaxe needing work.” You quip back to him.

“Oh well shit, thank god that isn’t me.” Frankie smirks and you snort at his comment.

Frankie reminds you of the flames and steel he works with. Hard working and gently intense, yet a warmth gleams beneath him and fills an entire room just like the heat from his kilns.

“You just had to come in five minutes before I closed huh?” Frankie sighs dramatically.

You think he’s teasing but guilt still strikes you quick. Rambling out apologies, you scramble to explain how it’s mainly for precaution with the storm coming.

“I can always come back later!” You urge panicking.

He chuckles, cozily deep, and you sputter to a stop.

“I kid little farmer, I kid.”

That nickname he so casually gave to you just this month sparks an electric warmth through your entire body. You weakly laugh back, not able to fully process a reply.

Frankie’s gorgeous features, his striking nose, and his warm eyes disarm you in a way that makes your knees want to fold.

He moves around the tables and workbenches to pull out your ax.

“There it is!” You happily cheer.

Frankie even playfully shows off the sleek new tool like he’s a hostess in a daytime game show and you clap appreciatively while you laugh. It surprises you how silly sometimes Frankie can be.

Moving back to the counter he places your ax onto it. Then he leans towards you and begins explaining what upgrades he did.

You should be listening, but you can’t. Not with him leaning so close to you.

You’ve had an embarrassing crush on Frankie since the first moment Mayor Lewis introduced you to him. But with how busy you’ve been settling into the valley, along with how shy and reserved Frankie is, your feelings simply have stayed crystallizing inside you.

Frankie’s diligent eyes are so focused on his work and it’s beautiful. He’s beautiful. How dedicated he is to his craft, how quietly passionate he is, you yearn to fall into him more.

Suddenly Frankie’s eyes flicker up and catch you staring at him. In a panic your gaze snaps down to your tool.

“Yup! Looks like it can still cut a tree! Good job, Morales.” You lamely reply and Frankie snorts.

You do sincerely thank him and even offer to get him coffee for making him stay this late.

Frankie waves you off casually. “Maybe next time, besides you gotta get home before the storm hits.”

He’s right. There's still so much you need to do before the night comes. The clatter of Frankie slowly shutting everything down for the night draws you out of your thoughts.

“Do you need any help?” You offer.

“Nah, I’m good. Plus I don’t need your pretty hands getting burned.” Frankie replies back.

Although he’s not looking at you, his sly compliment sends a spark through your body.

Scrambling to put your ax in its guard and then shoving it into your backpack, you thank Frankie again and plan to quietly leave.

“Wait!” Frankie suddenly calls out and you freeze.

“Wait, don’t head out yet. Let me walk you home.”

The chill from outside settles into the shop now that the fires are extinguished. Yet, Frankie’s words ignite a dizzying heat.

“Oh no it’s okay!” You quickly stammer out as a nervous energy spikes in you.

You know he lives besides the forge. It wouldn’t make sense for him to walk you home then have to head the way back here.

The lights from the back area turn off and Frankie already walks out towards you with his coat on.

Your eyes go wide.

“Come on.” He gently nudges you with his kind eyes and your body moves on autopilot.

Once outside the cold galvanizes you. The sky above stretches out a misty blue while the edges of evening’s midnight coloring slowly creeps in.

The entire walk back to your farm Frankie stays in step with you. The conversation is light, easy, simple talk of how his and your day went. Your heart hammers in your chest. Yet, it’s comforting to have someone beside you. He’s warm and stays close.

Now your farm stretches before you a soft welcome home. Frankie, like the gentleman he is, walks you to the door.

Appreciative, you warmly thank him and wish him a safe trip back home.

“Thanks and stay warm, little farmer.” He grins softly, kind.

After a sweet wave goodbye to him, you walk off the porch to do all the final errands before you call it a night.

“Wait, what’re you doing?” Frankie suddenly calls out and curiosity colors his voice.

You glance back and see he hasn’t moved an inch.

With an eased sleepy smile you tell him you have a few last minute things you need to do. Like check on your winter seeds, double check the coop and then make sure the pipes are covered.

“You need help?” He warmly asks concerned and sincere.

“Oh no, I’m good I promise!” You reply. If you were braver you’d joke about not wanting to hurt his pretty hands.

“Besides, you need to get home.” You firmly tell him.

It’s getting darker, not completely night out, but you feel guilty for Frankie walking out here.

So with one final sigh you give him a warm goodbye.

“Stay warm tonight, Morales.”

Frankie quietly grins back and you hope he makes it home safe. Now your focus turns to the small field and you kneel before it.

Your winter seeds aren’t ready just yet. A dread fills you wondering if they will last against the storm.

“What are you growing?”

Frankie.

You didn’t even hear his footsteps in the snow. Whipping your head up you watch Frankie lean down to squat beside you.

“You should be walking home!” You cry out surprised.

Frankie shrugs sleepily. “It’s still early, I’ll be fine.”

You make an indignant squeak that makes him chuckle. Frankie’s eyes return to the little saplings still making their way through the snow, stubbornly growing against the harsh winter.

“They’re just winter seeds.” You sigh explaining how you’ve been growing them mainly for the experience and money.

“You think they’re gonna make it?” He asks gently.

You hope so.

You’re about to get up when Frankie quickly stands above with his hand outstretched to you. Even though your hands are gloved and so are his, a flutter runs through your chest when you place your hand in his. Frankie lifts you up effortlessly and you thank him, trying to steady yourself.

“Alright, what’s next?” Frankie asks light.

“For you to go home, Morales!” You laugh.

“Well you’re walking towards the barn so…kinda doesn’t seem like you’re finished yet.” Frankie comments almost shyly as he stays walking beside you.

“I’m not, but I don’t need your help. Go home!” You urge with a weak laugh. Frankie simply shrugs.

Sliding open the coop door, warmth begs you to come inside. You’re thankful for investing in those barn heaters.

“Your chickens are so big.” Frankie admires quietly in awe at the sleeping birds.

You smile while double checking the coop. Everything seems secure and safe for whatever might come this way tonight.

Stepping back outside the cold air seems still, quiet.

“You need to head home.” You tell him sternly, more worried than ever about his walk back to town.

“What’s next?” He asks with steeled resolve in his voice with no sign of leaving.

“Go home Francisco.” You firmly urge saying his full name.

But then you catch the sight of your pipes and sigh. So you almost did forget to wrap them.

“You didn't wrap your pipes?” He sounds a bit worried.

“I thought I did earlier…” Now you’re extra grateful for double checking.

When the first snow came at the start of winter, everyone reassured you the pipes would be fine. It was during harder snow storms, blizzards, that you needed to be careful. And now one approaches fast.

Frankie follows you inside the house to grab the necessary materials.

You can’t even process him being in your home for the first time. Simply on a mission you and him work together swiftly grabbing duck tape, a ratty old towel and head to the pipes.

It’s a swift team effort. In minutes, the pipes are securely wrapped safely and snug. You and him even share a triumphant high five.

“I wish I could invite you in for a thank you hot chocolate but you need to head home now.” You press.

Frankie, with his hands in his coat pockets, shrugs easily.

“I can stay for some thank you hot coco.” He offers.

“You gotta get home before the storm hits!” You shriek.

He waves you off casually. “It’s not coming till later tonight I’ll be fine. Now come on, don’t you wanna impress me with your hot chocolate skills?”

The smirk he gives you is so boyishly charming, almost like he’s daring you to invite him in.

This side of him is rare. You’ve only seen him get this smug and cocky at the saloon during a game of darts. Now your heart flutters fast in your chest.

“Come on,” He pouts. “Think of this as a way to help keep me warm on the walk back.”

He makes a point. The panic of wanting him to make it home safe before the storm, becomes smaller against the thought of spending more time with this man.

To have this man in your home.

So with a sigh of defeat you crack. Nudging your chin towards the door, you let Frankie in.

He’s in your home now. You need to stay composed.

You do have budding feelings for him, something that’s evolved out of the simple crush you had. And having him here in your home feels like dipping your toe into the deep end of a pool before jumping in. But you shake those thoughts away.

“Your place is nice.” Frankie admires and you thank him.

It’s still small, cozy now that you’re slowly allowing yourself to fully settle into the old bones of your grandpa’s home.

You want to say more until Frankie’s stomach suddenly growls.

Looking at him with surprised eyes, he stares back with beautiful eyes the size of the full moons.

“Shit.”

You laugh at his panicked response.

“You okay with maybe staying and having a quick dinner or should I really kick you out so you can head home?” You leave the option up to him, place the ball in his court.

Frankie with the most bashful smile slides off his coat.

“Dinner sounds great, little farmer.”

Your heart floats up and gets tangled in your throat, but it’s incredible.

You have the leftover lasagna Evelyn gave you as a thank you. But you also think of the soup recipe you've been dying to make for this weather.

So you leave it up to your guest for the night.

“Soup or leftover lasagna?” You offer light.

Frankie’s eyebrows scrunched together adorable, thinking hard at the two options, and you keep back a giggle.

“Will the soup take you a while to make?” He sounds sweetly concerned.

You swear it will take less than twenty minutes.

“Soup it is.” Frankie grins and it touches his eyes.

You begin grabbing the various ingredients and hate how hyper aware you feel even in your own house.

“So what can I help with?” Frankie now slides beside you and you almost squeak in surprise.

For someone who makes so much noise when he works, you find he’s rather quiet, swift.

“You’re my guest, so don’t worry. Plus you’ve helped enough!” You shoo him away and don’t miss the way he playfully glares at you.

Conversation again unfolds effortlessly with him. Frankie talks about how Mayor Lewis was in the shop earlier bragging about you hitting a full year in the valley.

“And here I thought everyone had stopped gossiping about me.” You snort lightly and start grabbing the bowls.

It will be a full year since you moved to your grandpa’s family farm. However, you wonder when the newness of you living here will subside.

“There’s… still some gossip of course. Small town after all.” Frankie admits shyly, like a school boy admitting a secret.

“But don’t worry, I don’t let any of ‘em talk bad about you in my shop.” Frankie, endearingly sweet, adds. His words knock you breathless and you almost drop the bowls.

“I knew I could count on you, Morales.” You manage to say with a grin.

Thankfully quick, the soup turns out comforting and delicious. Frankie even gushes about how incredible it is and your ego inflates wild.

“Thanks so much for dinner.” Frankie beams with the brightness of a sun.

“Please, I’m the one who’s thankful for all your help.” You earnestly tell him.

“Plus, it’s nice to have good company for dinner.” You add.

“I understand,” Frankie nods. “Gets a bit quiet around my place too. S’nice to change it up.”

A dual sided emotion settles in you. You ache understanding but also yearn to uncover more about this beautiful and sturdy man.

Before you can dive more into this discussion, Frankie’s phone rings wild and loud. Hastily scrambling to grab it, once he discovers who’s calling his face drops for a flicker of a moment.

“Sorry little farmer, but gotta excuse myself real quick is that alright?” His voice wavers.

Of course you earnestly reassure him and even direct him to the bathroom so he can talk in private. Frankie thanks you graciously then rushes out.

The house is quiet and he didn’t fully close the bathroom door fully. So his conversation leaks out enough for you to catch it.

“Wait, so you wannna just spring this on me now?” His voice slices out sharp. You’ve never heard Frankie sound this upset.

“Yes of course I’m gonna take her. But do you know how fucking shitty this is, Diana? Did you even think about my schedule before you fucking planned this trip?” He snaps.

You’ve also never heard him curse and it snaps your snipe straight. He sighs incredibly frustrated and angered, allowing whoever is on the phone to talk.

“Oh yeah, yeah, real fucking nice. Always make me the bad guy, right?”

Then Frankie starts speaking fast and low in Spanish you can’t catch what he’s saying. His tone however feels barbed and venomous.

So many questions bubble up. You believe you heard the name ‘Diana’ but this could be a conversation about anything.

Now thinking about it, even though you’ve been here almost a full year… you don’t know much about Frankie personally and that truth sinks your heart.

Silence now settles into your home until Frankie’s footsteps echo returning down the hall.

“I’m so sorry.” Frankie’s voice jolts the air but with a deep sadness. “I think I’m gonna have to save that cup of hot chocolate for another day.”

You kind of figured. Besides, you didn’t want him to get caught in the storm.

Outside the air has chilled, but thankfully the snow hasn’t begun.

“Had a great time tonight, thanks again for having me for.” An earnest grace radiates from his words.

You’re the one who’s truly thankful for him and you repeatedly tell him that.

Unfortunately a dread hits you. You want to make sure he makes it home. Your worry must be evident on your face because Frankie’s eyes cloud with caution.

“Wait, what’s wrong?”

When you tell him, a beautiful relief melts on Frankie’s face that you almost wish you could capture.

“Oh come on, that’s easy to fix, little farmer.”

He pulls out his phone and hands it to you.

He’s asking for your number.

Your heart beats so rapidly in your ears when you type your digits in.

“I’ll message you when I get home. Promise.” His warm voice is gilded with truth.

“Stay safe okay Frankie?” You tell him and his gorgeous eyes soften.

“Yeah, will do. And you stay safe too okay, little farmer? Stay warm and if you need anything.”

He holds his phone up and playfully wiggles it, a signal to say you should call him. You smile unbearably big and stay on the porch watching him leave until he vanishes from your sight.

You keep busy so you’re not simply staring at your phone waiting for his message. You clean up the remnants of dinner and feel comforted seeing two bowls in your sink.

Then your phone chimes and you scramble.

An message from an unknown number:

[Made it home safe!]

Another message flickers in.

[Also this is Frankie btw :)]

[Hi! 🪓]

The little ax emoji he adds makes you giggle giddy over how adorable this man can be.

You add his name and contact info into your phone. It warms you better than any sip of hot chocolate could.

- ❆ -

“Why do we even gotta celebrate ice?” One of the kids, you think Vincent, shouts that as you reach the edge of the forest and you snicker.

When you heard about the festival of ice, it simply sounded like a way for the town to break up the winter days. But it also reminded you how earnest and endearing the town can be.

Your heart jumps fast spotting Frankie bundled in his cozy jacket. He stands close to Willy and the two of them talk low, completely engaged with each other.

Whatever they’re discussing seems serious, evident in Frankie’s hard frown and Willy’s unusual somber expression. You decide not to interrupt them.

The fishing game is the highlight of the festival and to no shock the town’s head fisherman wins.

“It’s rigged.” You tease Willy and his hearty laugh is contagious.

“Don’t worry, next year you’ll be puttin’ me to shame.” Willy proudly declares.

When the event concludes for the day, Frankie already walks off without saying a word to you.

You try not to think about it too much.

When you’re about to head to bed, you find a message alert on your phone.

Frankie:

[Good try with the fishing tournament today! Sorry I didn’t get to talk to you today… have a lot of stuff going on. Also Willy wins every year. Think Lewis even adds fish into his crate to make sure it happens lol you’re the real winner in my book ]

You laugh as warmth balloons rapidly in your chest.

This message feels like a true victory for the day and it carries you for the rest of the week. Especially with how hard and brisk this final season of the year is.

Everyone warned you winter would be tough, and with your greenhouse still unfixed you’re realizing how true the warning is.

The days drag and bleed together. You throw yourself into the mines trying to gather more resources but that drains you fast. So you start doing a few errands around town to break up the days.

When Frankie requests a certain amount of wood you scramble quickly to complete the errand.

Inside the blacksmith shop, the familiar warmth greets you. However when Frankie walks out, a weariness looms over him. Heavy bangs hang around his eyes even as he smiles thin.

“Hey.” His voice is weary.

“Hey.” You reply back hesitantly. “I uh…have the wood you asked for.”

“Oh shit really?” He perks up. “Thanks, little farmer.”

You beam proud knowing you managed to at least brighten his day a little.

“Wait here, let me get your payment.”

You almost want to tell him that wasn’t necessary, but Frankie scrambles for his wallet.

“So, how ya been?” He asks.

“Good.” You partially lie. “How have you been?”

“Good.” He answers quickly, however you sense a lie buried.

You weakly smile. Exhausted, Frankie barely grins back and a pang pierces through you.

“Hey… Frankie.” You begin weakly. Frankie, midway pulling out your payment, freezes and blinks towards you.

“Yeah, little farmer what’s up?”

You know this might not mean much but you want to at least tell him.

“I just…” the words get stuck in your throat but with a deep inhale you unclog them.

“You just seem tired. I appreciate how hard you work but I just hope you get some rest when you can.” You tell him earnestly. “And… if there’s anything bothering you, I just wanted you to know you can always talk to me.”

You finish and hope you didn’t overstep.

Frankie’s gemstone eyes flicker stunned and then he sighs.

For the first time, Frankie slips his very notable baseball cap off and runs a hand over his hair.

His soft hat hair, the way you get this new glimpse of Frankie, lights something within your chest. You’ve never seen him without his cap. When he slips the baseball hat back on, his eyes seem cloudy and downcast.

“Thanks little farmer, appreciate it.” He mutters with another sigh. “It’s just stupid shit with my ex wife that’s taking longer than I expected to work out.”

Frankie’s words catapult you straight out of the atmosphere and your blood runs cold.

Ex wife.

Frankie was married before.

“I shouldn’t let it bother me and I don’t wanna be that type of ex husband, but holy shit she can be so damn difficult.” He shakes his head.

This feels like you’re meeting him again for the first time. But you’re grateful he’s sharing this with you.

“I’m sorry you have to deal with this and with her being difficult.” You reply with a soft comfort.

“You’re a good guy Frankie. I hope she doesn’t make you forget that.” You add, meaning those words.

You and him might have just recently become closer, but this entire year you’ve been living in Pelican Town Frankie’s been so sincerely kind. Always being patient with you and how awful you sometimes are to your poor tools. Even just seeing his soft shy smile when you run into him has brightened your day many times.

Frankie’s eyes finally flicker to you. They search your face like he’s waiting for you to react.

His mouth opens slightly.

Then he says your name, breathes it out, and it kickstarts a wild flutter in your heart.

But the door suddenly yanks open wildly behind you, cutting him off rapidly.

Robin, the town’s ever handy carpenter, arrives with a warm welcome drawing all the attention to her. The moment flutters away with her entrance. With a fast goodbye to Frankie and a swift warm greeting to Robin, you scramble fast to leave.

“Wait I didn’t-”

You don’t even wait to hear what Frankie has to say before you’re out of the door and back into the cold winter air. With so many thoughts buzzing in your head like angry hornets you simply head to the mines.

You stay there until the dead of night and drag your body back to farm. Even with how tired you are, your mind still thinks of a certain blacksmith.

The next morning there are two letters waiting for you. One is from Lewis reminding you of the upcoming Winter Star festival. The other is from Frankie.

Your heart jumps fast.

Little farmer,

Thanks for thinking of me and wanting to look out for me. Appreciate it a lot. Also you forgot your payment yesterday, silly! Don’t work yourself too hard either. So you get some rest too, alright?

Hope you swing by again and maybe soon we’ll have time for that hot chocolate :)

He not only sent you the payment for the errand but also a sweet pack of maple bars.

An overwhelming sweetness consumes you and you wish it never leaves.

The next day you plan to make Frankie a hot chocolate to bring him in the morning. But you realize you used the last remaining bits a few nights ago when you snuggled in for a cozy reading night. You mentally kick yourself but decide a green tea will hopefully be the best second option.

The minute Frankie’s shop opens you’re there the first one inside.

“You’re here early.” Frankie greets you with crinkled smiling eyes.

“Thought I’d stop by before I head to the mines.” You reply back brightly.

“It’s not hot cocoa, but I hope it’s a nice treat.” You offer lightly while you hand him the cozy to go drink.

“You got this for me? Thanks so much.” Your heart flutters hearing how warm his voice gets.

He takes a sip and his eye brows shoot up under the cover of his hat. Oh no. Does he not like it?

“Is this green tea?” His voice jumps so excited. “I love green tea!”

His brilliant smile creates a sun bursting light in your chest and you’re a bit grateful now you ran out of hot chocolate.

- ❆ -

Gus is a full five minutes into his handmade candy cane discussion and while you adore the endearing saloon owner, you can only take so much.

The feast of the evening star still warms and eases you though. The twinkling decorations, the absolute grand festive tree, the delicious food - it’s all a cozy blanket to soak into.

So you allow dear Gus to ramble about his candy canes while you sip on your warm drink.

“So who’s your secret gift recipient?”

Frankie’s soft but playful voice catches you off guard and you almost sputter out your drink.

You caught sight of him earlier but he was busy laughing with Pierre and Caroline. Then you got caught up in greeting everyone. Now you’re thankful to finally talk to him.

“You know that’s a secret.” You playfully glare at him.

The blacksmith simply shrugs but the amusement tugging his lips makes you smile.

A beautiful flush crawls over Frankie’s face. A kaleidoscopic joy sparkles in his deep eyes. He seems better and joy fills you.

“So does that mean you’re not gonna tell me what your winter star wish is?” He asks light.

You roll your eyes, but giddiness consumes you fast.

“You tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine.” You surprisingly coyly reply.

Frankie snorts and his face crinkles up adorable.

“If I told ya, you probably wouldn’t even believe me.” He says casually then takes a sip of his drink.

“Wait,” you reply back. “Now you gotta tell me.”

Frankie doesn’t reply for a moment.

In the stillness of this moment, you notice how close he is. He’s leaning right beside you that you can smell the faint smoke of his work, and a crisp cologne you’ve never noticed before.

Then, you see it. His stunning amber gemstone eyes flicker to your lips.

It’s fast, happens in a breath of a moment. Your throat dries. You blame the warm food and festive atmosphere, but you ache to lean closer.

Before you can react or even wait for Frankie’s next move, Mayor Lewis claps loudly, breaking the spell.

“Time to exchange gifts everybody!” He declares.

Your body feels electric and immediately you try settling yourself down. You needed to give your gift.

Jodi, the sweet mother she is, deserves a nice sweet treat and you surprise her with a fully cooked chocolate cake. Her warm excited reaction is a treat itself.

Evelyn, ever the kind grandmother, gives you a pack of her delicious and warm cookies. You hug her tight thanking her.

The festival concludes with a gentle end and fizzles out softly. The clean up is eased, relaxed, and by the time it’s finished an unfortunately long yawn takes over you.

“Can I walk ya home, little farmer? You seem tired.”

Frankie again, so stealthy, suddenly appears out of thin air.

You squeak out a quick yes and his face melts soft.

“So a full year down huh? Hope we haven’t scared you off too badly.” Frankie offers hopeful.

It has been a year, feels like so much yet so little has been composed into your new life here in Pelican Town. You think of the dilapidated community center you’ve been keeping an eye on and working on.

You’ve taken this new journey slowly, at your own pace. You can almost hear your grandpa’s voice cheering you on saying just take it one step at a time.

“No way.” You laugh answering Frankie’s question. If anything, you’ve grown more attached to the valley than you ever imagined. You even tell Frankie this and his face lights up so beautifully it rivals the festival tree standing in the town plaza.

“Everything work out with your ex?” You ask gently and then sputter out an apology if you’ve overstepped.

Frankie chuckles. “Nah, I’m glad we can talk about it.”

That comforts you.

“And yeah, thankfully everything worked out.” Frankie grins sleepily. “I’m still really sorry you had to hear that.”

“No worries! And like what you just said, I’m glad I can be here for you. That’s what friends are for, remember?” You reassure him.

“Yeah, friends.” The way his voice hangs on the word friends gets tangled in your chest.

A quietness clouds the walk.

“So Gus tell you about homemade candy canes?” Until Frankie’s light voice breaks the silence and you laugh.

It might have been a slow start becoming friends with Frankie. But you’re glad, grateful, to finally arrive here.

Arriving at your farm you thank Frankie again.

“If it wasn’t so late I really would invite you in for that hot chocolate I’ve been promising you.” You sigh. You even begged Gus for a new pack just to be stocked up.

“Don’t worry about it. There will be another night, promise.” His words are gilded in a promise you want to treasure.

He suddenly says your name and now under the light of your porch, Frankie seems bashful as his eyes flicker around.

“I, uh, kind of have something for you.”

That takes you by surprise.

“Couldn’t give it to you earlier cause I know Mayor Lewis would’ve had my ass.” Frankie dryly snorts and then pulls out something concealed in the classic brown paper wrapping he uses at his shop.

“Happy feast of the winter star, little farmer.” He delicately hands it to you and your eyes feel as if they’re going to pop out any moment.

You cry in protest that he didn’t need to get you anything and guilt rushes in. You didn’t get him anything.

“Eh,” he shrugs. “No pasa nada.”

You’ve only caught small bits of him speaking Spanish before and now hearing him speak so casual sounds beautiful.

Unwrapping the surprise gift, you discover he got you an iridium bar and you inhale sharply.

You haven’t even been able to forge one yet. The most precious, coveted, type of metal bar and he just casually gave one to you right now.

“Francisco Morales, this is too much!” You shriek.

He laughs buoyantly and loud at your reaction.

“Trust me, it’s not. Besides, seen how hard you work. How much you do for me and the town. You deserve it.”

You don’t want to get emotional, but the tears clogging your throat say otherwise. Those tears and the bubbling emotions, gratitude and all other shades of thankfulness, overtake you. Before you can stop yourself you rush to Frankie and collide into him.

You hug him best as you can but realize what you’ve just done. You don’t even know if he’s okay with close contact like this.

Immediately Frankie wraps you in his arms and squeezes you back. He’s all encompassing, beautifully so.

Your mind, your thoughts, everything melt as you embrace him back.

“Thank you.” You earnestly tell him.

“Anytime.” Frankie whispers back.

You would never tell Frankie this… but your winter star wish came true because you couldn’t have wished for a better way to bid such a sweet farewell to this season here in the valley.

[distortionbobble]

"do you ever shut up" no... and nobody asked for this but i'm thinking about situationship!anakin right now. minors dni. fic has no warnings rn . might expand this one. modern au.

see the thing is, if any of your friends had gotten into this, you would have done a whooole extraction mission to get them out of it. a situtaionship? with that fine-as-fuck man? pretty wavy brown hair and that stupid fucking smile... baby your eyes look like the ocean i'm not arguing with you...

you found him on hinge during one of your dry-spells. the first thing you noticed was how pretty this man is. his profile featured pictures of him hanging out of the window of his car, gravity pulling his hair down as he flashed the camera a prize winning smile. another picture inside a restaurant, just a hint of manicured nails in the corner of the photo.. taken by an ex-girlfriend, maybe? you hum, and scroll down to see the rest of his profile.

"anakin, 22... figuring out my dating goals," you murmur to yourself, munching on your popcorn. okay, figuring out dating goals, that means... means what? a situationship? fuck, do you even have that in you? you're ready to x him out but something makes you wanna look at that face just one more time. fuck, he's pretty.

before your better judgement can stop you you're typing out a quick response to his prompts. green flags i look for are... good at legos. okay, that's cute, right? maybe he doesn't know what his dating goals are because it's kind of intense to be like, i want a long term relationship. that is a lot of pressure. you respond by sending him the lego flowers bouquet that's sitting on your coffee table (yes, your ex gifted it to you. no, that doesn't matter to you. what he doesn't know won't kill him. besides, it was a good present).

does this count? you respond, tossing your phone to the side to focus on Love Island playing on the TV, not expecting a response from anakin for at least a couple days. which is why you're almost shocked when the screen lights up with a notification from hinge.

anakin: yeah, looks pretty good to me ahaha

anakin: sent an image

anakin: rate the set up?

you open it with curiosity and a little bubbly feeling in your chest-- a cute boy matched with you, you're pretty sure it's well within your rights to be a little excited. it's a rather impressive set up of a few different lego sets, all built meticulously. you spot a few that are difficult to get your hands on, and think for a second on how to respond to him.

you: do i spot the indiana jones temple escape set?

anakin: oh my god yes that's my favorite set lmao, took ages to get it

you: dude that's so lucky

you stare at the screen, biting your lip. fuck, this is such a dry-ass conversation, it'll probably die out anyways so you don't bother sending a follow-up

anakin: honestly pretty lucky in general w all my sets. i've got a coupe unopened ones if you wanted to hang out and do them w me sometime tho? might be fun.

oh my god. oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. okay, be cool about this. wait, is this code for a hookup? okay, hang out and do them with him = y'all fuck after the legos? or before? you're confused. but like, legos sounds like a fun time.

you: sounds like a good time. does friday work? we could pick up some takeout from this place on jefferson ave, if you're down

anakin: down for friday. but i was thinkin i could make you somethin? i can make a mean miso soup, if you're down.

you: seeya friday, then :)

--

you brought chocolates. to his apartment. and after you knocked on the door, you're thinking maybe this wasnt such a good idea, after all. the chocolates, and the being here in the first place.

but anakin opens the door, and his apartment smells so good, and he's got a set of space post card lego sets already open with the accompanying instruction booklet next to him.

"hi," you smile up at him, a wave of shyness washing over you as you look at him. how are people allowed to be this pretty? it's like the camera didnt do him justice, because he's at least 20x more attractive in person.

"hey. it's nice to meet you," anakin responds with a grin of his own. "d'you wanna come on in? i've just put some of the veggies into the stock. got some tofu and stuff, bok choy, it'll be good," he says, shutting the door behind you as you enter his apartment.

"nice place," you say, looking around quickly before you take off your coat and shoes.

things flow easily between you too. he tells you about his day, his job, asks you about yours, asks you about your favorite movies. you ask him about his lego sets, his decorations, his favorite music, how he learned to get so good at cooking (the soup is fucking delicious). he puts on a grateful dead song on his speakers as you work on the sets, laughing when he asks you to separate two legos that are stuck together with the nails that you have ("don't you have one of those lego-separating tools?" "those. are for pussies.").

the sets come together what feels like too quickly. you almost wanna tear it apart so that you can have an excuse to just stay for a little longer, but it doesn't seem like anakin is eager to kick you out either.

but it's late, and you should go. as you head out for the door, you feel your eyes drifting to his lips-- his pretty bottom lip, plush and rosy and you wanna sink your teeth into it-- and you know he notices too. he doesn't say anything. is a first date too early to kiss?

"well," you say, lingering at the door. "i, uh, had a good time tonight."

"me too," anakin says, equally as awkward. he leans in just a little, so that his face isn't so far, so that you don't need to look up so much.

well, that's it. no invite to a next hangout. you try not to let your face fall as you wish him goodnight and thank him for the miso soup.

you've only made it out of his apartment complex when your phone lights up with a message.

anakin: d'you wanna do smthn next week?

you smile.

[genericpuff]

Heya!! just wanted to say I'm totally in love with your work and with how are you rewriting their story, I'm so happy I found this.

Is just... idk how to put it but I used to like LO when I was younger and kinda binged it in a couple days, y'know? Now I'm re-reading it as I'm older and I'm like "wtf is this". Might sound silly but is kind of a heartbreak, something I used to like and now I just realize how... not good is it in reality.

So reading this makes me really, really happy. Your work is amazing and is dripping PASSION and love from it and I just love that.

Also- on another note: i read in a couple of chapters that there's a discord?? for some reason the link doesn't work, do you happen to have another one? or is the discord closed for now?

Aaaahhh thanks so much! (｡・//ε//・｡) I feel like every time there's a new update a new flood of people discover it and idk, it just makes me really happy to see so many of y'all enjoying it, I'm having a really great time making it and seeing all the great feedback and reception and comments just makes it even more fun <3

I can definitely share that feeling with how it feels now to go back and reread LO, it's just not the same anymore. I wasn't even that young when I picked it up (grand scheme, yes, but not compared to the folks who picked it up when they were in high school, I was well out of college by the time I started reading it, so like... early-to-mid 20's?) but I was still admittedly pretty naive at the time and rarely noticed the red flags from the start; and when I did, I just brushed them off or went "I'm sure Rachel has something planned for that" which, unfortunately, she never really did in the long run (it took until the trial arc for me to go "oh god I don't think Rachel planned this out" and that's when the rose-colored glasses started to fall off lol)

I made Rekindled for exactly that purpose, to recapture that magical feeling of reading LO for the first time, just like it was for me and many others who shared the same experience back then. It's also really gotten me out of my stubborn ass comfort zone, I've learned so many new art techniques making it and the plot that I chose to go with is one that I adore writing because it's not far from the stuff I normally write (the original foundation for the Act of Wrath plot was the biggest one I wanted to retell because so much of it resonated with me as someone who's written plotlines similar to it in the past).

We do have a Discord! Just note that I always set temporary memberships to invites so pick yourself out a role as soon as you have access otherwise you'll get kicked after a bit ;0 Hope to see you in there!! Thanks so much again for the kind words ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

[discluded]

My Top 10 memorable 2022 MileApo moments 💚💛

In no particular order,

Mile defending Apo and telling him he's not weird. Mile Phakphum #1 apocolleague #1 Apo defender #1 Apo protector 😖

2. Whatever they put in the water that day at the XBlush shoot 🥴

3. The Moon Represents My Heart at KPWT Taipei (curse you one video per post Tumblr limit). The audible gasp and excitement from the audience when they realized what song it was!!!

4. MileApo at the Vogue Thailand Gala. Everything about them and how beautiful they were... Mile had just gotten out of COVID isolation #2 and now they had a Vogue spread and were mingling with the movers and shakers of the Thai ent industry. Also specifically these boyfriend soft launch selfies 😖

5. Paper Mile at the KPWT send off. This one was bittersweet and making the best of a bad situation... Apo was doing his best to have Mile be included but even Apo was not his usual sparkly self. The appearance of paper Mile per the request of quarantined Mile really put the smile back on his face.

6. Sharing dessert and water in the Red Sea Film Festival IGL

7. Apo taking this sexy photo of Mile in Phuket and immediately being exposed as the photographer. Thank you @ apovision for God's work and thank you @/may for exposing them.

8. Mile replying to this tweet. Yeah it's a tweet. Yeah he interacts with many fan tweets. But trust me, this is the one that made all of us deranged. It's the reason why I'm deranged now. I think about this all the time.

9. Mile and Apo kissing live at KPWT Bangkok. I'm just going to make peace with the fact that we're likely never gonna see another live kiss at a KPWT show again. But we got this one.

10. Holding up the pride flag together at KPWT Taipei. Wasn't Taipei beautiful!?! 😭 It was a beautiful moment for the entire cast and the audience, since it was Pride Week in Taipei 🌈

Bonus: 11. Meeting all of you 🥰💕 Yeah I'm sappy as heck, what are you gonna do about it.

If you've ever sent me an anon or liked or reblogged one of my posts or followed me or stalk my blog but don't have a Tumblr or written fic or drawn fanart or written meta or made gifs or made edits or trended for MileApo, thank you for making fandom a fun place. If you've learned anything new about yourself or the world or changed your perspective in life because of anything I reblogged, I'm glad something I said or did affected you 🥰

We often talk about about when being in fandom is annoying, but really, it's a community. If you've stayed, thanks for embracing respecting each other and loving KinnPorsche and loving Mile and Apo and the people in their lives (which includes all of us!)

Maybe the real MileApo was the friends we made along the way 🥹🥹🥹 (Mile would agree because he is equally sappy like me).

Many other beautiful memories I wanted to include... but I loved these so much. It was hard picking favorites, but I'm gonna 😤

Bonus runners up:

Looking like a royal couple at their first fan meet

KPWT Seoul date (are you going to give us the video or not BOC...)

Apo lifting Mile in the KPWT Taipei behind the scenes video

Mile discretely rubbing Apo's waist underneath his suit jacket at the D7 event 🤭🤭🤭

KPWT Taipei goodbye (x2)

(alright no more for real or else I'm gonna be here all day)

[cinebration]

Thieving Touch (Steven Grant x Reader, Marc Spector x Reader) [Part 1]

Premise: Steven meets you at the museum and thinks you’re normal, but Marc thinks you’re a thief. They’re both right. Sort of.

Will do my best to minimize spoilers from the show as possible. There may be some discussions of mental health problems in the future, but from the reader’s side, not necessarily Steven and Marc’s.

Tagged: @simpforbuckyb​, @gracehorses, @raging-trash-of-mind, @galactic-galabee, @wordacadabra, @lucy-sky

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 | Epilogue

Warnings: none

Gif Source: oscar-isaac

Steven watched the patrons mill about the museum, wandering up to display cases and reading the placards there. How he wished to be alongside them, telling them the things the placards didn’t say, giving them the knowledge they were missing by only superficially engaging with Egyptian history and its associated pantheon. No one really ever came up to him even to buy the sweets on his counter, and the one or two that did eventually wander to a stop before him weren’t much interested in discussing the finer points of Egyptian mythology.

He still clung to a fragment of hope, however, no matter how often his supervisor, Donna, rejected his attempts to become tour guide. Maybe the next time the board members came into the museum, he could stage something to show them he knew what he was doing. Maybe he could even demonstrate that by going to the marketing department and telling them what they had gotten wrong on the banners.

As he listened to his watch click down to closing time, he gazed out at the diminishing stream of patrons. As he glanced past one of the displays by the Ammit pillar, he paused and turned his attention back.

You stood in front of a display case, hands hanging by your sides, fingers twitching like misfiring nerves shooting to your fingernails. Steven realized that you had been standing there for five minutes, unmoving but for the spasmodic digits.

Glancing over his shoulder for Donna and satisfying himself that she wasn’t around, he slipped out from behind the counter and slowly approached you. As he drew nearer, shifting to his right to see your face first in three-quarter profile, then in full profile, he felt himself losing his nerve. He hadn’t expected you to be so pretty, not from what he had seen of the back of your head. What was he doing?

“Hullo,” he greeted, hands held close together in front of him.

You jerked your attention to him.

“Sorry,” he apologized, already mentally kicking himself. “I didn’t mean to startle you. Can I help you with anything?”

Your lips twitched as though you were fighting a laugh. Steven smiled awkwardly, feeling what little confidence he had flag.

“So, you know a lot about this stuff, do you?” You gestured to the Egyptology wing in general.

“Probably too much,” Steven conceded quickly, though the stupid grin on his face said otherwise. “It’s my passion.”

“Obsession.”

He frowned. “Well, no, that’s got something of a negative context—”

“Is there an Egyptian god of thieves?”

He blinked. “Oh, uh…I’m not sure I’ve ever come across one, no. See, the Egyptian gods were used to represent abstract concepts, as well as natural and social phenomena. They aren’t patron saints.”

You chuckled, the sound dry and labored. “Not all are saints.”

“Sorry, what?”

“The Greeks had one, you know. A god of thieves. Hermes, not that many people care much about him. They hear his name and they think, Oh, that fun Paul Shaffer kinda guy from Hercules? Wings on his ankles? But he was more involved in human lives than the others and to much less detriment.” You cocked your head, and for the first time, Steven wondered if you weren’t looking at the object behind the glass but your own reflection in the crystal. “The Greeks did a hell of a job showing what happens when the divine touches the human.”

Steven scrutinized your profile as you continued staring into the display case. Wrinkles slowly bunched around your mouth and eyes, the muscle in your jaw flexing, the muscle over your temple tightening with it.

“Are you okay, miss?”

You blinked and fixed your attention on him, your eyes strangely clouded before suddenly sharpening on him. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired, that’s all.”

You flashed him a brilliant smile. His heart skipped, tension running down his spine as years fell off your face, your eyes alight with a fire he hadn’t seen before, as though the embers in your pupils had suddenly burst into whooshing flame.

“I know the feeling,” he managed to stutter. “The tiredness, I mean.”

Your gaze slid over his face, warming his cheeks. “You do, don’t you?”

“I have, um, a sleeping disorder.”

“Really?”

“Uh, yeah. I have to sleep with a—” He stopped himself. He couldn’t just tell you about the cuff around his ankle. Definition of a red flag that was, wasn’t it? “I have to take measures, you know?”

You nodded sagely. “I can’t sleep unless I…do something, you know?” You waved vaguely. Your attention snapped back to the display case. Sucking a breath between your teeth, you shoved your hands into your jacket pockets.

“What…” Steven swallowed thickly, his mouth both dry and gummy. Come on, bruv, you’ve got this. “I’m Steven. Steven Grant.”

You smiled again, shaking him. “You’ve got it backwards.”

“I’ve got…what backwards?”

“It’s Grant. Steven Grant. Like Bond. James Bond.”

A burst of laughter chuffed past his lips. “Oh, right. Clever!”

“I’m more of a le Carré fan myself, but Fleming did alright.”

“Oh, I, uh, don’t read much fiction. I should read more, though,” he covered quickly. “Do you have any suggestions?”

“Ladies and gentlemen, the museum will be closing in ten minutes.”

Steven felt the wind slip his sails. Trying not to let his disappoint show too much, he turned to you, smiling weakly.

“You work here often?” you asked.

Hope rekindled anew in his chest. “Y-yes. Most days, standard nine-to-five and all that.”

Cocking your head, you stared at him for a moment, long enough for him to start flushing beneath your gaze. “What kind of stories do you like?”

“Oh, um…I dunno. Adventure?”

“Adventure and Egyptian mythology,” you noted. “Sounds like you should’ve been an explorer or archeologist a hundred years ago.”

“Dunno about that. I mean, the adventure, yeah, and the discovery, that would be smashing.”

“There would be a lot of smashing,” you quipped, laughing. The sound made his soul quiver. “I’ll come back, then, with some recommendations.”

“Oh, really?” Excitement surged through him. “That would be smashing.”

Smashing again? He could hit himself.

You laughed instead. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Steven. Steven Grant.”

With that, you cast one last glance at the display case and strode across the marble floor to the front doors. Steven watched you go, not so much to enjoy the way you walked but because he was frozen to the spot, stuck there by his own hope overwhelming him. It didn’t feel real.

He reached into his pocket to whip out his phone and call his mother.

“Stevie!” Donna’s voice snapped across the room.

Steven squeezed his eyes shut, slowly turned to face her. “Sorry!”

“What were you doing? You’re not a tour guide. Stop chatting people up unless you’re trying to sell them sweeties.”

Sighing, Steven clung desperately to the buoyant hope in his chest. You were going to see him again. Sure, he may not have gotten your name just yet—

He hadn’t gotten your name. Frowning, he inwardly kicked himself. When he saw you again—he would not entertain “if”—he would be sure to learn it. He was sure it fit you like a crown on a queen.

“Not to burst your bubble, Steven, but she won’t be coming back for you.”

Steven shot an irritated glance at his not-reflection in the display cases he passed. Marc stared back at him, lips pressed into a thin “just how it is” line.

“Don’t do that,” Steven groused. “Don’t ruin my night.”

“I’m just saying, she’ll be coming back, but not for you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means she was here casing the place.”

“Sorry?”

“She’s planning on robbing it.”

Steven snorted. “Now you’re having a laugh. Just because you would do something like—”

“Who says I would—”

“I wouldn’t put it past you!”

Both men huffed at each other as Steven retreated behind his register and began gathering up the sweets displays.

“I can’t believe you would sabotage me like this,” Steven snapped. “Getting into my head—”

“I’m always in your head, Steven.”

“I have a right to be happy! And you’re not going to ruin it with your crazy American paranoia.”

“Crazy American paranoia? I’ve never heard that before.”

“Well, you’ve heard it now. First time for everything and all that.”

Marc threw his hands up and shook his head. “Fine. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Steven rolled his eyes at the reflection and slid a box over it to hide Marc. He wouldn’t let him take this away from him. It was the first hopeful thing he had had within his grasp—hell, within his realm—in a long time.

He couldn’t wait to call his mother to tell her.

[venus-giirl]

hi could you do a smut of taiju shiba having sex with the girl the hakkai likes, and the hakkai catches him in the middle of the act

N/A: Of course, my dear Billiexsa!🥰 Sorry for the long wait, I took my time to imagine a more separate story. I hope it suits what you want, it's the first assignment I've been given. I got a little carried away, but I hope you enjoy it :)

STOLEN: Taiju Shiba x Fem!Reader. Fandom: Tokyo Revengers. Word Count: +3k Rating: Taiju steals Hakkai's love and tricks her into taking her to his room. NSFW Talk. Taiju being dominant and aggressive. Rough sex. Taiju being a red flag?

It's quite a long story to tell, but it could be summed up in that you had always been best friends with Hakkai Shiba. When you were little you used to hang out at his house quite a bit, as sleepovers, along with his sister, Yuzuha, had become a fun little ritual.

You thought it was rather strange that his parents weren't at home or someone was taking care of him. But of course, that's what big big brother Taiju was already there for. Taiju Shiba. You never used to talk to him and could hardly speak to him. Not out of fear. It was because Taiju smelled of danger. Something you can't deny.

  When you saw him in the hallway, a strange shiver twisted down your spine and went to your stomach. Was it because you were attracted to him? Or is it because deep down you wish he had ever spoken to you? Even if it was just a greeting.

  On the other hand, there was Hakkai. So nice and quiet. So much for being the brother of someone like Taiju. Sometimes you would see him with a few bruises here and there, but he would always reassure you that it was because he was in a gang with his friends and they had gotten into trouble that day.

  Years continued to pass and you grew up with your two best friends. Until you came of age and it was your last year in high school. The rumors about Taiju and what a troublemaker he was were no longer a surprise to you. He was always like that and the great legacy and mark he left on your high school was notorious.

  Every time you came home from Hakkai and heard him from the doorway arguing with someone on the cell phone it gave you that same tingle in your lower belly. His voice was so... So... So... Or is it just curiosity that you feel for him?

  He couldn't treat you gently, could he?

Those thoughts about his voice. His husky, gravelly voice ringing in your ear. Slow on the one hand. Rough on the other. Added with the tingling in your belly. His big hands. So big he could even clasp both your wrists together with one hand. Backwards. Cornering you against the wall or on the bed... Oh, and his belly pressed against yours. Crushing you with his hot weight...

Oh my god, you couldn't think that about your best friend's older brother.

  On the other hand, there was Hakkai. With him you had a special relationship. It was unconditional love from both of you. You knew he liked you since junior high school. His sister told you.

  As you grew into a pretty woman, he couldn't help but look at you. He would even get so nervous to the point of stuttering sometimes. But he was your first kiss and you couldn't forget it. His slippery tongue trying to enter your mouth and brush against your tongue. No one had ever kissed you as lovingly and nervously as Hakkai did.

  It was the battle of your heart between your head, for the love you felt for one brother and the curiosity you felt for the other. It was clear which one it was...

Until the night everything changed...

The air was too thick for your lungs to adjust to the cigarette smell emanating from Taiju Shiba's room.

His room was sober and dark. Just like him. There was hardly any decoration. Both the bare walls without a picture adorning them and the large pile carpet covering the floor were jet black.

A large window gave way to the dark moonlight that crowned the sky a couple of hours ago. Along with the stars that shone brighter than ever. Witnesses of what could happen in the room of a man as dark as everything around him.

A few small, thin lamps hung from the ceiling emitting barely a noticeable yellowish light, giving some atmosphere to the gloomy room. Everything was in its place. Not that there was much else besides a small bookcase and a desk in front of the bed. Everything was where it was supposed to be. And nothing else.

So you were where you needed to be. In front of it. Your legs trembled a little. Maybe because of the excitement of being in his room for the first time or because of the simple fact of being alone with HIM in his room.

You hear the latch click as he slams the door shut. Giving a little jump to come back to reality.

"What is it you wanted to talk about?" You ask without looking him straight in the eye. You couldn't. His gaze was like that of a tiger about to hunt its prey and devour it.

"Ah...yes, THAT." He replies in his husky, thick voice, more to himself than to you. He takes a few small steps in your direction.

"There's a reason you asked me to meet you in that park behind the high school." You take the same step he takes backwards.

"Look at me."

"What? Is that... That's all it was?" You don't quite understand what he means. You know that if you look at him you won't be able to control your feelings.

He takes another big step toward you. Leaving little space between your legs and his bed. You look up with some courage and decide to look at him. His golden eyes glow in the dark. He is the hunter. And you his victim.

You let out a choked sigh as you bring your hand to your chest to calm your heartbeat and take your eyes off his eyes. Unable to hold his gaze. Your heart wouldn't stop pounding in your chest. About to make you dizzy from the intensity you were feeling right now.

You didn't realize it in time, but after hearing a guttural growl from Taiju, and feeling him grab you by the shoulders tightly is when you realized he had jumped on top of you and thrown you to the bed. He was still holding your men while still exerting the same force on them.

"I said look at me." His voice is loud and you abide by what he imposes on you. "I'm not asking you, I'm ordering you. You don't look at me when you talk to me and that bothers me, kitten." His hand slides up and settles like a collar over your neck.

His fingers press persistently on your jaw and he twists up your face so you don't throw your head to the side. Making sure you comply.

"What's the matter, cat got your tongue?" He caresses your right cheek with his index finger. "Come on, kitty, talk."

"I... I..." You speak with difficulty.

"You... what?"

"You're hurting me... gross." When he realizes that his hand had squeezed you tighter, he loosens his grip and strokes where his hand has marked your sensitive skin.

You sigh through your mouth and tremble at the touch radiating from his entire being. A powerful touch that could kill anyone by a single overly tight squeeze on your neck.

"You know what you're here for" He moves his mouth closer to your neck and blows lightly. "You know what I want right now" He flicks his tongue out and is on your skin, licking a lily up to your collarbone.

At that moment you felt a shiver run down your spine and your survival senses went on alert. Your lower belly betrayed you as you felt a tingle. You were slowly getting wetter and wetter just by being with him.

"I don't want to be...here." You lie, even though you were afraid of what he might do to you. "That letter wasn't for me..." Tears were threatening to come.

Taiju let out a throaty laugh as he joins in on you. This time his hands are on the sides of your head.

"Oh yes, that letter was for you, honey."

"What do you want then?" you ask courageously. You weren't going to let this man with wild senses make you feel small in his arms either.

"You know what I want."

"Say it" You swallow saliva and look at him with a frown.

"I want to fuck you." "Now."

The air rushed through your lungs and didn't reach its destination. You choked at his sudden proposition. He wants to fuck me, you think as you look at him.

"I know you want it too" "Don't deny you've never thought about it. I've seen the way you looked at me all these years. I've seen the desire in your pupils and the desire you have for this. As much desire as I have for you right now."

A thought. An impulse. You craned your neck only to find the glory of his lips in an impulsive kiss. Desperate. And hungry. He responds and growls at the touch and the boldness for daring you to take the first step. That moment was his alone and he wouldn't hesitate to force you even if you didn't want to.

You open your mouth slowly. Calming your mind and heart for kissing him. For being with him. And for how fast it was all happening. A moment ago you were with your friends and now I found you with him. In his room. In his bed. And kissing him.

You couldn't betray your mind and think at that moment about Hakkai. In the first kiss you gave each other. His kiss was so rough and brutish compared to Hakkai's softness and tenderness.

Hands roamed your body. Squeezing your arms and then your breasts pulling you towards him. You felt your nipples harden. His tongue licked yours with intensity as his hips moved against yours. Crushing his thick erection on your lower belly.

"Come on, kitten. Take your clothes off for me." He gives you a light kiss with his head cocked to the side and sits up as he one-armed his shirt off. "Don't keep me waiting."

You bring exit and sit up along with him, almost standing at the same height. You dare to look at his naked torso. You almost drool at what you see. Sculpted breasts, thick and fluffy abdomen and not one of those typical gym ones. And a trail of wild hair trailing down the V of his pelvis all the way to his notorious erection protruding from his boxers At what point had this man taken off his jeans?

"Trust me, beautiful. I'm not going to do anything bad to you." He smiles sideways in a wolfish grin marked by his fangs.

You lower your hands to the hem of your skirt without taking your eyes off him and slowly lift the garment upward. Tired of waiting, Taiju yanks off what's left and pulls your dress behind him.

"Wow, but look at that - without a bra underneath? What a surprise." He growls before lowering his head and starting to attack your sensitive left breast with a quick bite desperate for a taste of you. Your hands grab her hair and you pull it back in an attempt to push it away.

"Taiju...that's very...sudden."

"Mmhm." He hums as he passes by to taste your right nipple causing his vibrations to make you even wetter to the point of wanting to bring your hand down and cover your sensitive vagina with it. His mouth roams and tastes all over your breast. Biting his way across your collarbone and leaving the occasional purple hickey on your neck.

"Lie down" He orders. You comply. You lean back on your elbows until you are positioned in the center of the bed. He follows you without taking his eyes off you as your naked body wanders across the black sheets of HIS bed. His golden gaze glows with possessiveness.

Once on top of you, with one strong pull he ripped off your panties leaving you naked and at his mercy. You had never felt so horny and at the same time feared and respected in equal parts by this dangerous beast.

"Ah, my God." You whisper looking up with your palms pressed together in a hint of prayer. "Forgive me for all the sins I am about to commit tonight." Your breath catches as he turns to look at you in this last sentence. You spread your legs for him. Without him asking you to. You do it only because YOU want this moment and for it to happen. "Look at what a good girl you are."

He stands over your spread legs even though he grabs your knees and spreads them a little wider so he can see your womanhood in full "Wow, you're so wide open I can even see the inside of your pussy, kitten". He licks his lips.

"I'm so wet." You dare to say. "I'm this wet for you." You confess "So please don't hold back." You let yourself go and relax in the comfort of her beds. You grab his shoulder with one hand while with the other you grab the sheets from under you to find a grip to support yourself with.

"And I'm so hard. Look how big you put it in me." You laugh in that thick, powerful voice that could shake even the sturdiest of foundations. He pumps his erection a couple of times to calm his pleasure and places the tip of his cock at your dripping entrance.

You close your eyes ready for his onslaught. Of course you didn't expect it to be so hard. The intensity of the first thrust filled all your senses to the brim and sent a sharp pain of pleasure through every nook and cranny of your body.

Taiju let out a hoarse roar. His powerful hips began to ram into your body, lifting you almost off the mattress with the force he was exerting. Even your grip could not overcome his brute thrusts. As he penetrated you to your depths you tried to get used to his invasion.

His hips gyrated until he found the pleasurable nub of your intimacy as the tip of his cock caressed your cervix. Something in your mind clicked and your mind shut down, leaving only your heart to endure all the pounding and your pussy being almost raped by his thick cock.

"Like this...like this...I like you, Taiju." You said into the air almost as if you were out of it and not knowing if you were really thinking it. Your moans and his grunts took over the whole room. Taiju let out a thick laugh without stopping for a single second from ramming you and lunging into your soft body.

Her breasts bounced with each thrust, her abdomen was contracted trying to hold on so as not to cum so fast inside you. Her powerful hands grabbed your ankles leaving you completely at her mercy.

"You're so tight, kitten, am I your first time?" He looks at you almost with a triumphant touch in his eyes. "It can't be...that you've..... adapted to me...so quickly." With each word he said he alternated a lunge, squinting his eyes never taking his eyes off you. "Or there's another one." At this question that almost seemed like a statement, Taiju hovers over you, crushing you against the mattress.

Her lips claim yours in a rough, possessive kiss without ceasing to lunge at you. Your stifled moans are swallowed by his mouth as if it were the energy he needs to keep up with the rhythm of his hips. He caresses your breasts, bites them and tastes them. He attacks your collarbone and leaves more marks to make you his. So that no other man dares to look at you when they see them.

You were about to climax. His dominant words, the constant thrusts to your pleasure spot along with the rubbing of his pelvis on your clit had you ecstatic with pleasure, fulfilled and over stimulated. By now you were trembling and the inner walls of your pussy became more sensitive as they adapted to the shape of his cock.

"Taiju...I'm...I want to cum...". You begged for pleasure. Your clit was too happy right now and the intensity in that area made your belly keep contracting. God. It was too much.

"My God...I swear if there's another man in your life...I might even kill him." He grunted, his lunges starting to become more sporadic. He was reaching his limit too.

You screamed, wanting to release yourself once and for all from all the pleasure you were building up. You were about to cum. It only took a little more, a few more thrusts of Taiju and you would reach the heaven you longed to enter. All until because of some loud banging on the door you were pulled out of all your pleasure. You twitch and shudder squeezing your insides clenching Taiju's cock between your folds. He grunts and shudders in response as he feels you tighten in his arms.

Hakkai's voice could be heard from behind the door.

"Open the door, you fucking bastard."

"Fuck!" Taiju replied. "Get the fuck out of here!"

A few hard knocks began to be heard. Outside, Hakkai, was lunging at the door to the point where he broke even the lock and was able to get inside the room.

Oh shit, you thought scared. Hakkai... He had broken the fucking lock and he was INSIDE.

"You're a piece of shit, for..." Hakkai's voice was cut off the moment he realized, despite the dimness of the room, that there was a woman underneath Taiju. "T/n...is it, is it you?" he questioned almost stuttering, panicking that you would confirm that it was indeed you.  Fuck the love of his life was...with his own brother.

"Hakkai...I..." You couldn't continue, you were so sad to see the confused look on Hakkai's face, you wanted to run out of there as fast as you could. Taiju did not go unnoticed of the aura of worry emanating from both of you. Understanding the situation he says:

"Do you want to join us, little brother?" he smiles as he sits up to look at you, slightly exposing that he was still inside you, along with your red naked and hickey-filled body.

Hakkai swallowed hard the saliva that built up in his mouth at such a proposal...fuck you along with his brother? Was that something he would be willing to do just so he could have you? Would he stand to watch Taiju fuck you? Would you be able to take it yourself?

God alone would be witness to what could happen tonight in the room of the eldest brother of the dreaded Shiba family.

[powdermelonkeg]

Tears of the Kingdom: A Scene-by-Scene Analysis

Tears of the Kingdom: A Scene-by-Scene Analysis

At long last, we've gotten our title drop for the sequel to Breath of the Wild. No longer will I have to call this Bo2W in my tags. No longer shall I agonize over fake title leaks.

But I digress.

You're all here for one very specific thing, and it's time I delivered.

This is our opening shot, a Zonai carving of someone...important. We don't know who, but there are some interesting details to extrapolate here.

The eyes, for starters. A broadly-stroked circle with three triangles underneath.

Already, we can see some parallels.

But the rest of this face is...more intriguing, to say the least.

The ears, to start. A stylistic choice? Whoever this is, they have way longer ears than we usually see on Hylians. Key word there being "usually."

Princess Zelda tends to have much longer ears than other Hylians, even Link. OoT Zel has the longest in full 3D modeling, but compare Skyward Sword Zel to Link and Groose:

Hers are longer, narrower, and usually without earlobes.

On top of the strange ears, we also have this...I believe it's a third eye. That's something I've never seen outside of things like bosses.

Moving on to the lower body-

It's a little hard to figure out, exactly, due to how angular and stylized everything is. But from what we can tell, our mysterious figure has long, flowing hair, a triangle at chest level, and a robe that reaches their feet.

I was trying to figure out what this ensemble looked like, when I remembered a specific line in Skyward Sword.

And then it hit me.

A tall, magnificent figure baring a triangle, with a flowing cowl and robes that meet her feet.

Even the strange dots on the figure's robe.

They bear a rather striking resemblance to the chain on Skyward Zelda's ceremonial outfit.

Given the prevalence of Skyward Sword references in Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom both, and the Hylia statues everywhere, I think it's not a far stretch to say that this is a Zonai depiction of Hylia herself.

The shot changes to show a battle underway, next:

This gives us some more recognizable faces—the onslaught of Malice, a legion of Bokoblins and Moblins both. Interestingly, though, the Moblins carry a weapon I can’t identify.

My first impression is a double-bladed scythe, but it could just as easily be wind marks behind a club, or a flag to herald their side. With the stylization, it’s hard to tell.

Against them, we have our armies, bearing shields with an interesting crest on them.

A stretched version of Hylia’s insignia?

Looking closer, we can identify these soldiers, at least, as Hylian (or some other similar pointy-eared race, like the Sheikah):

Our next shot is a full view of our strange deity.

And THIS gives us a lot to work with. We have Zonai writing we can analyze-

What looks to be either a Sheikah tower or one of the dragon pillars in Faron

Clouds-

-and an island

Which neatly parallels the floating isles we saw in previous trailers.

Our new god(?) has their hands outstretched in offering

Which is an...unusual pose. It’s once I’ve never seen on any of the Goddesses—Hylia always has her hands together, at her chese, while Din, Nayru, and Farore tend to be holding something-

-have their hands to their chests-

-or be posed like muses.

But do you know where I have seen this arms-out pose?

Hmm. Interesting.

But what intrigues me most of all are the symbols above our figure’s head.

They’re all identical, seem to be giving off some sort of light, and most importantly, there are seven of them. And in the world of Hyrule, the number 7 in legend usually refers to one thing:

In Breath of the Wild, we saw up close and personal how Zelda’s destiny shaped itself. We saw her trials and struggles at the beginning, and the game ended with her finally realizing the power her birthright grants her. But that’s far from what her ancestors, historically, have been capable of. And, seeing that Ganondorf is returning...

Speaking of Ganondorf, our next shot appears to be him, from the regalia to the posing.

Though, it is worth noting that the figure in the effigy has pointed ears, not rounded like the prince of darkness in the corner.

Also interesting to note, we can start to see malice creeping towards this figure at the bottom, in the form of red lines.

We then go to a much more alive figure.

This, from what I can tell, appears to be Zelda. Her hair flows, her dress has a sash around the waist, her arm is bare, and it looks like there’s a bracelet around her wrist, though it’s hard to tell for certain.

But there are some other important details here, too. First of which, we have the Zonai text.

It looks to be vertically formatted, like traditional Japanese would be. Looking close, we can see that these aren’t just random drawings to look cool, either; there are repeating symbols.

What this means is that this is meant to be read, rather than just an environmental effect. And given the frequency of repetition and the message being so short, we could be seeing a departure from A-Z translations that Hylian has, and shifting more towards the alpha-syllabaries of OoT and Wind Waker with the Zonai text.

Moving on, up in the corner, we see a doubled version of the marks above the strange deity’s head.

And then the Zelda carving is holding her hand out to another.

Another larger than hers, with bracelets about the wrist, pointed claw-like fingers, and markings up the arm.

My first thought is that this must be Link. It’s Zelda and another in legend, of course it must be, right? But in that case...why hide it? Why keep that side of the bond in shadow?

Of course, Link isn’t the only person to sport a hand like that in this game.

And then, we get to the actual game footage.

Starting off, we have Link pushing open a seat of double doors, with twin dragons on them.

The handle looks to be eye-like

And there’s faded writing on the circle.

We see Link run out onto a platform, one of the strange shrine isles we saw in the original trailer ahead of him.

I feel like these are going to have as much bearing as the Sheikah shrines in the first game.

We get a glimpse of the building Link just came from in the background, big enough to be a dungeon. Then...

What ARE those? Scrolls? Catridges? Whatever they are, they occupy the spot held by the Sheikah Slate, so we can assume they're powerful.

Then we get a slightly-more-enhanced view of Link's corrupted hand. It looks like there's a slot in the top, maybe what the cartridges plug into?

I’m going to continue this in a reblog because Tumblr keeps deleting new additions I make to this post. I’ll update this with a link (ha) when that happens. Stay tuned!

[sincerely-sofie]

you shouldnt need some get-out-of-bigotry-free card from your religious doctrine in order to be a good person. thats not how good people decide things. good people do something to help rather than explain how theyre definitely not associated with bigots because of the fine-print.

do you even care about all the injustice and pain and murder in the world because of christian hatred, or do you think is all a rules-game and we all get to go to a morally-acceptable afterlife in the end? do you give a s*** or are you going to keep making excuses for yourself so you dont have to re-examine what you believe and why?

you cant excise out the hatred and shame from any of it. every institution in the world was built on that- the original intent of god or jesus or whoever the f*** doesnt matter, because thats lost. it has been for a long time.

you want to believe in god? or a doctrine of harmony and acceptance and justice? make one up. you can do a better job.

This was quite the message to wake up to. I'm sorry for taking a while to respond, I wanted to give it as much care as I could while also being punctual in my response, and those are some tricky things to juggle. I'm putting the rest of this post under a cut for those who'd like to avoid this discussion.

I'm assuming you're responding to my previous posts where I talked about my being Christian and my perspective on people's divine right to choose the way they live and believe, and answered some responses to my initial points. But I'm really confused as to what “get-out-of-bigotry-free card” you're referring to. Are you talking about how I described agency? That wasn't intended to be seen in any way like you've described it. I also didn't ever boast about being a good person as this message seems to imply. I try to be a good person, but I don't wave it about on a flag to brag about. 

I'm sorry if this is presumptuous to say, but you're coming at me with a very hostile, angry tone while assuming many things about what I've said and who I am as a person. I'm sorry that what I've said has clearly hurt you in order to have gotten this reaction, but I'm a human being as much as you are. If you are hurting, I want to talk about that hurt in a calm way. We don't need to sling curse words or accusations to do so. 

For the first point of your second paragraph— do you even care about all the injustice and pain and murder in the world because of christian hatred, or do you think is all a rules-game and we all get to go to a morally-acceptable afterlife in the end— yes, I do care. It disgusts me that people have warped a message of love and charity into something so repulsive that they can use to justify acts of malice and hatred. Christian hatred is a fundamentally vile phrase to me, because Christianity is defined in my religion as “taking upon you the name of Christ”— which essentially means striving to live to be as much like Jesus as possible. Jesus wasn't hateful. Jesus wasn't cruel. Jesus was shown a woman who was set to be stoned to death and told the people who brought her forward to mind their own business and think about their own lives, then bent down and offered her compassion and comfort. As for myself, there's circumstances in my life that prevent me from doing much concrete advocacy for many causes, but I speak and vote where I can to make the world a happier place, protect people's rights, and defend them against predatory behavior. I'm unfamiliar with the phrase “rules-game” and couldn't find a definition for it, so I can't answer that portion of your question directly, but I believe that the afterlife is fundamentally morally acceptable, yes. I wouldn't be following a religion that I found immoral on a doctrinal level.  

For the second question of that first paragraph: I'm not going to use the same phrasing as you, but I do give a hoot. I also didn't try to make any excuses for myself. I'm confused as to where you felt like I did so. I do regularly consider my belief system and why I believe it, as well as consider the journey I've taken with my faith. I've identified myself as an atheist and an agnostic at various points in life before coming back to Christianity. To put it in a nutshell, I've done a lot of thinking on the subject throughout the years and have grappled with a lot of things about my religion that I didn't understand when I was younger, until I got a better recognition of them. I am not a blind follower of my faith. 

You said “you can't excise out the hatred and shame from any of it. Every institution in the world was built on that- the original intent of God or Jesus or whoever(…) doesn't matter, because that's lost.” I don't think we'll agree on this point, because we're coming at this from two very different worldviews. My church doesn't believe humanity is a gaggle of kids that God left in a hot car in some cosmic parking lot. We believe in God communicating with people throughout every era— He's still talking to and guiding humanity. We call ourselves the restored church because we believe in continuing revelation, that God isn't done revealing the Gospel to us in its entirety. We've got the fundamentals, yes, but we're still learning the deeper stuff, and God is here to hold our hands along the way.

The fact that there is any hatred or shame involved is not something God wants for us. That's something that came into religion from humans, because we're mortal, and we have vices, grudges, flaws, and temptations. We're not perfect, and we bring imperfection wherever we go. That's why we have God directing us to try and improve constantly— to turn the other cheek and remove the beam from our own eye before commenting on the mote in our brother's. We're on individual paths to God, and it's not any one person's place to judge another's life. That's what God's here for, and He's the only one qualified to do it by virtue of knowing us so well that He recognizes the struggles and reasonings behind where we unwillingly fall short. He also recognizes when people act with intentional malice even where we wouldn't see any, and is able to judge accordingly. 

Judging by your final paragraph— you want to believe in god? or a doctrine of harmony and acceptance and justice? make one up. you can do a better job— if I'm reading this right, you believe the concept of God is fundamentally discordant, unaccepting, and unjust. We're coming at this from opposing worldviews if this is the case, and aren't going to agree. I believe in a God who is kind and wants to see us succeed. It doesn't seem like you feel the same. I'm sorry, but I don't have much else I can say on the subject. I won't change your mind when this seems like a very vital facet of your belief system, if the conviction you write with is any indicator. You won't change my mind when a caring, present God is something I've experienced so frequently that I can't see the world through any other lens.

I'm sorry that what I said previously seems to have hurt and upset you. It wasn't my intent. I hope that this response is able to communicate that along with my perspective.

[lesharl-eclair]

lewis ot3 fic recs

for @f1ot3fest !! i promised myself i wouldn't ramble but this turned out ridiculously long so ... i actually need to learn to shut up

all fics below the cut; if you enjoyed these fics, please show the authors comment and kudo love; should you be the author of a fic that's here, and don't want to be here, please reach out to me and your wish is my command :)

NO this is so funny bcs half of this is fics by the creator/recced by the creator BUT ITS OK. THESE LITERALLY ARE SO DEAR TO ME *clutches to chest* please go read please go read

***

heist AU by @sionisjaune (sebcedes)

on golden sands (T, 6.2k)

Mark rolls his eyes. “Skip the crap, Jense. Who’s the mark.” Jenson lifts his whiskey and swallows the dregs. “One Baron Nico Rosberg. Currently installed in Greece, inherited the title from his mother. His father—” “Keke Rosberg. 1982 Formula One World Drivers Champion,” says Seb. The others look at him like he’s just materialized out of thin air. Lewis cocks his head thoughtfully, and the bizarre sleeves of his jacket rustle with the movement.

the ships that go sailing (E, 11.7k)

As it turns out, threesomes are not especially logistically challenging when two of the participants are experienced organizers of high-profile heists, and the third is determinedly horny.

err okay i think this was something i read before i had the concept of sebcedes or like ot3s. so it was a pure yOU CAN DO THAT??? visceral reaction the first time i read on golden sands. i was quaking in my seat. anyway upon sufficient rereads i have apparently collected my thoughts enough to say that the first part of the series is nothing like the second in terms of content (i read all the way to the middle of the ships that go sailing and suddenly realised that it was a sequel and uh. had a very violent reaction.)

the premise is wonderful, oceans 11 is great to begin with and the way every detail is taken care of in the au!! the characterisation of it all... the tangled mess of interpersonal relationship... it feels like every character has their space to shine, and this on top of a quasi-convoluted plot is quite incredible. aND THE SEBCEDES OH MY GOD THE SEBCEDES. the denouement. the start of something that seb can;t even begin to imagine. lewis and nico both being batshit crazy. sex retirement fic. somehow you managed to capture all the nuances (brocedes + seb + the emotional push pull + the competition?? a bit of quiet almost fragile sico? the boat scene hello??? brocedes being so chaotic it gives me whiplash?????) i actually cannot get enough of the way you write them

i can probably write so much more about this but i will stop here :0 maybe one day i will rereview this and end up with a five page essay or something. who knows.

***

Circle Endless by @antimonyandthyme (E, 2k) (brocedes + seb)

“It’s a two-for-one deal,” Nico said, very salesman like, as if he sensed Sebastian just needed an extra push.

the vibes here are so horrifically good. lowkey unhealthy. probably one of THE defining brocedes + seb fics - it's set up and played out as a 2v1 (in 2016!!), and the toxicity of it all is so asasasandsjfadjsfasdfs . there's so much conflict everywhere: within seb, the way brocedes also fight for dominance on the bed (bc of course they do), seb needing more despite whatever it's doing to him... that scene with kimi is pure poetry. so much to unpack in so little, and excellent excellent sex

***

made a hundred good stories by @red-flagging (E, 24.6k) (for a kinkmeme prompt) (alex + sewis)

“That problem you were telling me about,” Seb says, giving Alex a meaningful look. “I wanted to know if you wanted us to help you take care of it. Lewis and I.” This isn’t happening. Alex is having the most stressful, least erotic wet dream of all time. Helmut has gotten bored of subtle nudges and has graduated to full-on psychological warfare to get Alex to quit on his own and save the team from having to buy out his contract. Lewis actually did give him a concussion in Austria, and the long-term brain damage is only now starting to set in. "...You can't be serious," Alex says weakly. Seb shrugs. “You don’t have to say yes,” he says. “But if you’re just looking to have some fun–it might as well be with people who know what they’re doing.”

ok claire. coherence.

I CANNOT BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS FIC LIKE AT ALL??? i have tried so many times

the alex characterisation. the hellhole that is redbull. the exhaustion. so much DETAIL that it's painful to look at

the galex? the galex. oh my god the way it meanders in all the little spaces between alex's frankly ridiculously busy life, the LAYERS. the so much unsaid & the way they dance around each other even in texts. the way alex holds himself back but still wants.

alex/seb. seb being an all round menace to society (Quite honestly, he sort of forgets the conversation with Lewis even happened up until Bahrain, when Seb sidles up to him on some balcony on Thursday and says, casually, “So, gay cruising, eh?”) ?????? ? ? ? ? the perfect timing of seb's proposition. so much else but the deviousness of it all..

that little bit with alex and lewis. the painful awkwardness of that conversation (but also how much lewis eventually got out of it). seb's retirement & lewis' instant protectiveness!! ^^

the racing metaphors are so apt somehow (and even more fitting because alex has basically been consumed by the redbull grind........) this is a detail i personally really really enjoyed

THE SEX bro i cannot even?????? ???? i cannot do it justice here but um. the sewis is clearly there and framed so strikingly against a hesitant tired alex. the games sewis play. LEWIS GUIDING ALEX.SFSHHGSHGHHHHGG the car's still spinning and the walls that don't exist...... how at the end of it all it's still only glimpses of sewis that alex gets but how it's enough for him to maybe start figuring things out with georgie.... the post sex clarity....

oh this was so damn incoherent wasn't it. this fic made me, to quote @kritischetheologie, reconsider everything i thought i knew about alex albon.

***

a bedroom where your heart is by @hungerpunch (M, 1.5k) (vasewis)

“Someone will have to go for ingredients,” Valtteri says. He does not happen to keep vegan cheese stocked. “I vote the youngest,” Sebastian says, grin sly. Valtteri blinks. “Wait—” “Sorry,” Sebastian says, affecting a suspiciously convincing faux innocence, as if he’s truly apologetic but his hands are simply tied. “Seniority rules.”

closing this with some good achingly wholesome content. FOOD AS LOVE and i am so so so here for it oh my goddddd ... val taking care of sewis and finding the greatest satisfaction from it/it not being always about the sex (though the sex IS good!) and finding contentment in those small domestic-bliss moments/the scene-setting, the food described as lovingly as it's prepared, the quiet early-hour moments and seb in a way the middleground between val's discipline and lewis' indulgence when it comes to mornings... there's so much to just revel in and enjoy here!! a comfort fic in the truest senst of the word. :)

***

that was long. and probably extremely incoherent. oh well. thanks for reading till the end and remember to show the authors some love!!

as always, if you enjoyed this, or if i missed any fic, please let me know :) drop me an ask mayhaps if you would like more fic recs, and i will try my best to give timely unqualified opinions <3

[ineffabeatlemindpalace]

How Our Flag Means Death impacted my life

It’s been said so many times but the impact this to show has had on me is beyond comprehension. I am still living in the aftermath. Every day, I cannot grasp my luck of finding it and loving it. Hyperfixation or not, it’s been a while so I conclude it is safe to be put as a special interest by now; to care so much about something that makes you feel good and understood, is utterly important to have, I have realised.

My experiences in other, different, fandoms on Twitter as a teenager, have been very different and I guess it has something to do with growing up and learning more about yourself as much as it has to do without approach and handling of it all – we are all here for this show and we are damn grateful for its existence. We do not take it for granted and so we lovingly create more art and thereby put more love into the world. Isn’t this what life is all about? Adding care and love.

Coming back to my point, ever since starting to watch Our Flag Means Death, I have had this inner sense of calm inside of me, which I never had before.

It is hard to explain but I did notice that my sensory issues, especially misophonia, have been less of a problem. And that is huge. There is one noise source in particular, which is the fridge, if you want to know, but it can be triggered by anything, and I have been struggling with this for many years… There only has to be some trigger, such as the wind howling too strongly or any other sound, really, and I feel like the world is going to collapse because every thing gets too loud and too much.

Now, for a few months, it hasn’t been like that. It was almost scary at first due to the unfamiliarity of the absence of, well, mental pain…

Regarding the show’s successful portrayal of queerness – yes, that has been life–changing for me as well.

I have identified as nonbinary as long as I can think. I vividly remember this specific moment from my childhood when I was sitting there, on my own, thinking, I do not feel like a girl, I do not feel like any gender, I just feel like myself. It’s a strange memory to have but it was so vivid that I treasure how it stuck with me.

When I was a teenager, I never had any romantic, God forbid sexual, interest, except for the occasional crush on a boy or girl, which naturally made me conclude that I was bi or pan. As of today, I am still not feeling any of these attractions. However, as I explain in this post, some kind of attractions have been felt. One thing is clear, if I do feel anything beyond, it would be for any gender.

The show basically says, whatever, we’re all queer, and that is so beautiful and validating to me because my family and other surroundings are so heteronormative that I often question my validity and worth.

There have barely ever been other queer people in my immediate surroundings, which means that acceptance or even understanding is not something that I would expect.

In hindsight, this is a big part of why I always struggled with confidence and self-love.

There is a lot I could write about my family history but I will just shorten it to, I did grow up without a father from the age of 7 and my relationship with him is rather torn.

I am so moved by how they decided to give Ed and Stede these backstories regarding their relationship with their fathers and families and portray these issues in such a delicate and serious manner and how they can impact your whole life.

I am thankful for how serious they have taken all of these things.

These are characters that have experienced similar difficult upbringings and are struggling with the consequences into their adulthood.

I have never gotten an official diagnosis but from my childhood experiences and later struggles in life it is safe to say that I am neurodivergent. The relationship with my mother is very difficult as well, which definitely played a part in how I never understood that some of my behaviour and so on was a result of being different in that way instead of deliberate. During my childhood and teenage years, there have been instances of different kinds of abuse, however I will not elaborate further.

These struggles are always individual and personal but I will just say that I do suffer from the fear of being abandoned and yes, it makes maintaining relationships, such as friendships, challenging.

Because you constantly feel like you do not deserve anyone caring about you or enjoying your company. Genuinely, I have never believed this.

Even if I have learned to like myself more and be confident in my abilities. I still feel like a burden whenever I am with someone else. It doesn’t go away. Part of it is due to struggling with social cues as well as the general preference of being alone.

And I do enjoy my own company. But it would be nice to one day find someone I can fully trust and freely share my thoughts with.

Basically, what Ed and Stede have found in each other… and I guess what makes them so different to other ships is not only that they are actually a canon couple but the way they are so natural and gentle with each other?!

They accept each other wholeheartedly.

They see each other in such a genuine way… unconditionally. Not without hardships but always with such a willingness to make it better, to keep fighting, continue to live for the sake of love and love only.

Another serious struggle has been my eating disorder (anorexia) which (along with overexercising) lead me to have secondary amenorrhea for many years, which in turn, was a very blissful thing for me due to gender reasons. A big thing that has happened shortly after discovering the show has been my period coming back. My reaction was denial, then anger, then determination that I would not let this bring me down…

The show did ground me in that emotionally, I have handled it, somehow, and carried on.

I am so thankful for it all and much, much more.

There is so much to say and never enough words to express my gratitude. This show means something different to everyone. Everyone finds bits and pieces in it which make them feel the same kind of appreciation and love and this is just my share.

If you’ve made it to the end, thank you, dear reader. Sending you a warm hug, if that’s alright with you.

[girlbossblackbeard]

s2 ep3 delirious ramblings in honor of eps 4 and 5 coming soon!!

you already KNOW wtf goin on !!!

-the red flag fleet pig tails absolutely slay every single time

-Zheng Yi Sao putting her arm out to shield Olu from the dying guy that just got stabbed has me feeling some typa way (falling in love with her)

-stede just pushing his little bar and charcuterie cart around im obsessed

-Zheng Yi Sao's customer service voice when she says "Hi! I'm Zheng Yi Sao, you're...John?" like she's cold-calling someone is absolutely top tier, I would give her all my money if she were calling to scam me

-"champers?" stede you absolute doofus i love him far too much

-Zheng Yi Sao being all coy with her "ohh...forget it...;)" stop!!!!! im already in love with you please stop this madness!!!!!! i can't take much more of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-OLU'S OFFENDED FACE WHEN STEDE JUST PLOPS THE TOWELS DOWN ON ZHENG YI SAO'S DESK LMAO

-okay. we have to talk about stede hearing "the revenge" and his mind going completely blank aside from the one thought of "Ed" replaying over and over and over again to the point that all sense of self-preservation flies completely out the window (as he flies over the side of the ship) because the ONLY thing that matters to him in that moment is seeing Ed again. i can only imagine the looming sense of doom he must've felt as he realized Ed was noticeably absent from the rest of the crew when he found them, and then the cagey way they all spoke about where Ed went. i wonder if seeing Ed's body lying on that table gave him any sense of relief in the way that getting confirmation of something you'd feared was coming finally arrives

-also!!! let's talk about what must have started running through Olu's mind when he realized it was their ship!! did he immediately think of Jim? was he worried about them? did he assume they would've escaped blackbeard's clutches by now and gone on to bigger and better things?

-"she's returned to us...mostly" i wonder how sad buttons must have felt seeing the revenge in such a dire state :((

-"maybe she's gone through that triangle thing by bermuda" wee john my beloved

-I TOLD Y'ALL WHEN THAT MF GNOSSIENNE NO. 5 HITS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT WAS GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND IT VERY NEARLY WAS BITCH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-oh holy fuck the way the look of excitement on stede's face morphs into a look of horror as he takes in just how wrecked the revenge got in the storm is extremely upsetting

-someone smarter than me needs to do a deeper analysis on the use of gnossienne no.5 as stede is climbing the ladder of the revenge, no doubt with thoughts of a beautiful and loving reunion with ed because surely he'll be there waiting for him, just as overjoyed to see stede as stede is to see him, only for the song and that fantasy to abruptly get cut off once stede realizes how dire the situation on the revenge has gotten

-hey fam do we think there's any significance of the crew being found desecrating that seagull in the captain's quarters or was that just a plot convenience thing bc obviously stede would check the captain's cabin for ed first

-"just thought you'd be taller...mu-muscly, you know...charismatic" bruh ain't NO way Certain People had been either 1) talking about stede in such a high regard it put him up on a massive pedestal or 2) ahem....sobbing so loudly the entire god damn ship can hear it every single night for literal months...that archie fully thought stede MUST have been basically a god amongst mortals to make ed be so downbad it drove him to violent insanity

-"why can't i get a straight answer from any of you" because they're all gay bitch!!!!! you knew this when you first hired them!!!!!!

-OBSESSED with how Izzy is fully down an entire leg and Stede could NOT give less of a shit about it. Literally telling him "Piss off Izzy, I don't wanna hear from you" as if there isn't the biggest possible elephant on the deck basically screaming to be talked about

-side note: for the love of GOD con o'neill looks so stupidly hot in his reaction shot to stede telling izzy to piss off it's actually gonna give me heart palpitations. this is my formal petition to make con o'neill look permanently just a little bit damp and a little bit sad

-"when you get old, if you don't wanna work anymore you can just give up i guess" frenchie my beloved

-love love love love love the parallels between buttons and auntie being the actual paragon of first mates with almost preternatural senses for mutiny a'brewin or the sea shifting

-hey fam do we think izzy actually stabbed stede's painting or was it really ed and izzy was...sparing stede's feelings???? but why??? is it because he's intimately aware of how it feels to lose ed and even though he hates stede (or used to) he still wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anyone??

-SORRY I GOTTA TOOT MY OWN HORN FOR A SECOND BECAUSE I CALLED IT FROM THE MOMENT THE TEASER DROPPED THAT THE RAG MAN WAS GONNA BE HORNIGOLD'S GHOST MANIFESTING AS THE PARTS OF ED HE HATED THE MOST

>>>it turned out to be all parts of himself which did me quite a big ouchie but im still riding the high of having sussed that out so early on im LITERALLY destined to be a writer on this show. djenks get at me i know ur reading this

-i have absolutely no idea what the pig is supposed to symbolize in ed's fever dream someone who has a functioning brain should figure it out and let me know pls & thx

-don't know if this is significant symbolism or not, but: ed is wearing the cravat, his chains, and the pearl necklace in the storm. he is NOT wearing the cravat or the chains in the fever dream, but he IS still wearing the pearls. the best analysis i can do around that rn is that the cravat symbolizes stede and this journey he's about to go on needs to be about Ed and Ed alone, but also Ed *feeling* and *thinking* he's genuinely alone, which is supported by the conversation he has with hornigold later when he reveals he's worried there's no one waiting for him in the real world. the chains im thinking could symbolize his blackbeard persona in a way - presumably he got the gold chains when plundering and gaining/maintaining his reputation for being ruthless and the chains are a physical reminder of that persona and reputation. in the fever dream, ed is stripped down to his most vulnerable state (which is interesting considering his hair and beard aren't in line with the s1 symbolism of his vulnerability - almost as if his heartbreak over stede has become so all-encompassing he's no longer able to hide it behind a beard or face-shielding long hair) so the chains would disappear just as his blackbeard reputation would disappear in order for him to get to the core of who he really is, which brings us to: the pearl necklace. we could literally talk for hours about the nuances of everything the pearl necklace represents regarding ed's fears, desires, identities, hopes and dreams for the future, childhood trauma, etc. etc. etc. but ultimately it represents the parts of ed he holds the closest to his chest and THAT is why he's still wearing it in the fever dream: because it's a representation of who he truly is, stripped down, at his core. and THAT is the person who needed to go on this journey in order to start to heal, without the influence of anyone or anything else making him feel the need to perform or be anything other than his 100% authentic, vulnerable self.

-the way i reacted to seeing how beautiful ed is as he's waking up in hornigold's hut is undeniable proof that i need to be put down

-"what did you do to me...while i was out...anything weird?" edward teach my beloved of all time. we will not be taking this incredibly funny and perfectly performed line delivery and making it sad by thinking about the implications of what past behaviors ed may have experienced from other shipmates when waking up after a night of blacking out

-sorry but the way ed holds his breath so he doesn't eat the soup is so hilarious and adorable to me

-auntie recounting all the details of the mutiny right down to ed's height and silver hair based off of looking at the deck and licking some gun powder is sooooooo sherlock holmes coded but like. if he fucked y'know?

-also!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the little sprinkle of what i believe was maori thrown in between auntie and fang!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need more of that IMMEDIATELY

-"i'm burnin up here" SICK jobros reference frenchie

-frenchie stopping himself from saying "oh fuck" and instead going with "oh shit tits" i love this man an unhealthy amount

-"it's called you-cal-lip-eh-tusses. you-calamitous." good god i would due for olu in a heartbeat

-okay so. my thoughts on the olu/zheng/jim/archie situation. i never posted this here when the trailer dropped bc i thought i was just going crazy but when i saw the olu/jim shoulder bump i immediately knew it was giving "exes who are still friends and are being supportive of the other person when they admit they've found someone new" vibes. THAT BEING SAID - i can see this whole thing being resolved in 2 ways: either they have jim and olu talk it out and officially decide to split to pursue their respective new flames while remaining best friends/family, or - and this is where i think we all hope this is going - we get a 4-way polycule. im 50/50 on whether the studio would greenlight that given they've already pushed the envelope with having a nonbinary character and basically everyone is gay, but at the same time i would hope the studio would recognize that the show was wildly successful due in large part to those key elements and would be in favor of pushing the envelope even further (in their eyes). i think jim and archie are gonna see zheng being an absolute badass and fall in love with her and zheng is gonna see jim and archie being absolute badasses and fall in love with them while already being in love with olu specifically because he's NOT a badass and olu's gonna admit he's still in love with jim and they're all gonna live happily ever after completely dominating the seas and killing colonizing dipshits :)

-OLU WHIPPING HIS HEAD AROUND TO LOOK BACK AT JIM WHEN THEY TELL HIM THEY SAW ARCHIE'S BOOBS LMAO

-hi it's me again here to say that it is STILL SO EXTREMELY FUCKED UP AND EVIL OF DAVID JENKINS AND CO. TO BE PLAYING GNOSSIENNE NO.5 WHILE STEDE LOOKS DESPONDENTLY AT THE RUINED REMAINS OF HIS CAPTAINS QUARTERS WHERE HE AND ED CONNECTED FOR THE FIRST TIME AND FELT LIKE SOMEONE FINALLY UNDERSTOOD THEM

-how the fuck did izzy on a crutch and a pegleg sneak up on stede in the captain's quarters lil homie HAS to be sounding like mr. krabs at this point

-"i think the knives really help bring the place together" he literally cannot physically bring himself to not be a bitch around izzy even when he's wallowing in his lost love i am so so so obsessed with him you have no idea

-i know we're all still reeling from the confirmation that stede has ALWAYS known ed - past the rose-colored glasses of falling in love with just the idea of someone - and how his mind works when he asks izzy point blank what they did to ed but. i cannot stop thinking about s1 ed not being able to look stede in the eye as he says "you were always gonna realize what i am" before leaving with calico jack because he was so terrified of the judgement he'd see in stede's eyes. he revealed a less-than-ideal (but comparatively pretty benign) part of himself to the person whose opinion he cares about the most and was too afraid to stick around to see if/when stede would finally reject him for not living up to the standards that ed thinks stede deserves. and yet. we now know with actual proof that stede not only never judged ed for his past and just kinda glossed over any erratic behavior/violent reactions during their time together in favor of keeping an idealized image of ed in his mind, stede understood ed on a deeper level than practically anyone else in the whole world, with the exception of izzy, ever did. stede was so intimately aware of the exact kind of person ed was and what his thoughts and behavioral patterns were that he knew without a shadow of a doubt that there were only two fates for ed if stede didn't reach him in time: he was either gonna watch the world burn or die trying.

-feeling BIG emotions over the almost-sigh that stede does when izzy tells him how ed took his leg for merely mentioning stede's name. the way he looks away and swallows down his guilt and grief and shame.

-"you sent him to doggy heaven" ohhhh my god i wanna know if stede was bracing himself for the heartbreak or the relief (or both!!) of hearing izzy say yes. as i mentioned above, stede had to have had a cloud of impending doom looming over him all these months wondering where ed is and worrying if he'll ever find him again, and that cloud must have only gotten infinitely darker when he found the crew on the revenge only to realize that ed wasn't with them. stede isn't stupid, he proved as much when he told izzy he knew ed was going to destroy everything around him or die in the process, and with ed being very noticeably absent it would only make sense for stede to jump to the worst-case-scenario of the crew having to kill ed before he killed all of them. i think he had probably been emotionally preparing himself for that outcome the second he noticed the crew being shifty about ed's whereabouts, so to get confirmation of it would obviously be genuinely heartbreaking but also an end to the sense of doom that had been hanging around him for a while.

-the way stede whips his head around to look at izzy when izzy tells him no, they didn't send ed to doggy heaven is so! heartbreaking! because you can see the instant flame of hope light up his face for a split second before he reads the profound sadness of izzy's expression as he tells stede they deserted him on a beach and left nature to do the rest. interestingly enough, stede doesn't seem at all reassured or renewed in his hope by this, and im wondering if he knows izzy is lying to him at that point to spare his feelings

-"yeah i was there. that cabin boy's name was felix. he was a really nice guy" i love that we're not only getting a crumb of lore about ed's past on hornigold's ship (that isn't frat-bro posturing with calico jack) but that the crumb we do get highlights ed's humanity. not only does he remember the name of a "lowly" cabin boy, but he remembers that the cabin boy was really nice and is angry that he died so senselessly and hornigold doesn't even seem to care

>>>>>hmmmm now im thinking about how hornigold is a representation of the parts of ed that he hates, so is hornigold's story an allegory for how ed hates how he's shut off his emotions/shown little to no remorse for the hurt and suffering he's caused during his breakup era?

-okay there are SO many mentions of soup this season already someone figure out wtf it's supposed to mean

-THE WAY MY FRIENDS AND I ACTUALLY SCREAMED WHEN ZHENG SAYS "Girl, how are you :(" TO STEDE LIKE THIS SHOW IS 100% CONFIRMED WRITTEN FOR THE GIRLS (gn) AND THE GAYS AND EVERY LINE IS PERFECT

-DAVID JENKINS. WHY. ARE YOU PLAYING. GNOSSIENNE NO.5. WHILE STEDE TELLS ZHENG. ABOUT HOW HE FEELS LIKE HE LET ED DOWN. AND THAT HE'S THE CAUSE OF A LOT OF THIS. AND HOW HE SHOULD'VE JUST TOLD ED HOW HE FEELS. BUT HE WAS SCARED. AND NOW HERE WE ARE. i want you psychologically evaluated because i do believe there is a dark evil inside of you

-PLEASE stede's reaction of basically "ya got me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" to Zheng saying the guys on wanted posters are hot makes my brain fizz

-im not ashamed to say i literally get tears in my eyes from how divine ed looks when he's talking to hornigold about selling handmade shoes like what the fuck did the hair and makeup artists DO to make him even more stunning than before when they had already broken the scale in s1???????????? i feel like i should send them a thank-you care package for the gift they've given us

-"im actually just a very simple man" my sweet precious baby darling eddie boy. you are the most complex character i have ever become obsessed with in my entire life, and i was DEEP in the Castiel trenches at the height of SuperWhoLock tumblr from 2012 - 2014 as an unmedicated teenager still developing her prefrontal cortex.

-"like a jailer, but all the prisoners like you and they can go whenever they want" so what im hearing is ed likes having control over other people but also desperately wants them to like him AND choose to stay with him of their own free will and not because they have to. or it's just a funny simile for an inn like he said :)

-the jeff's inn by the sea roleplay scene makes me so insane i actually can't talk about it rn other than to say it's peak comedy and i want it permanently etched into my brain. also ed's little corsage makes me [feral shrieking]

-GODDD the way this season is so expertly slicing in clips from s1 as a quick flash of an image before coming back to the present is so extremely satisfying and also a direct punch to the solar plexis every time

-"grown man covered in tattoos, eh? with daddy issues?" no comment just screaming

-"we've been living second-to-second for a while now. it's actually kinda nice to have a deadline" this!!! this is what im talking about with the looming sense of impending doom hanging over you for so long that once you get confirmation that it's going to be over soon, even if it's because of a very permanent ending, there's a lot of relief that can be wrapped up in that

-"go on, bonnet. gimme your worst" i feel like i don't have the brain capacity rn to break that interaction down and tease out what izzy would've been expecting stede to do or say and what stede would've been thinking in that moment that was too overwhelming to actually voice but maybe someday i'll get to it

-"okay well i feel like im gonna choose...i feel like im supposed to choose...live" bbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooo the intentional writing of ed to say "gonna" at first and then switching it to "supposed to" is sooooooooo insane dude holy shit. i need to know what factors caused him to change his wording. what was he going to say he was gonna do. who or what is pressuring him to make him feel like he's supposed to choose to live. are those two choices - what he was gonna do vs. what he feels like he's supposed to do - at war with each other or is the conflict brewing from the different motivations behind wanting to live vs. feeling like you're supposed to live. the writing is just too good

-godddd someone needs to make a post on hornigold telling ed they're in a judgement-free zone which is basically ed reminding himself that his mind is a safe space for his thoughts and how unbelievably sad it is that ed would even need to remind himself of that in the first place. he's so used to scrutiny and judgement (and it's one of his biggest fears when it comes to the people he cares about the most) that he doesn't even think he's free from it in his own head

-im just gonna say it. ed talking about warmth and intercourse and orgasms is foreshadowing

-"i don't think anyone's waiting for me" i'll actually go lie in the middle of the road right now i swear to god

-it's so interesting how ed gets angry that his fear that no one is waiting for him fucks his pros up

-i don't understand how olu didn't immediately clock that zheng was flirting with him when he's in her office like buddy if i see a very beautiful woman with a very sharp sword and she's pointing it in my direction? that's a marriage proposal

-HOKAYYYY FOLKS WE GOTTA TALK ABOUT OUR FIRST TRUE COMPETENT!STEDE SIGHTING IN THIS EP. he not only devises an escape plan ALL BY HIMSELF, he has the knowledge and foresight to . and guess what? IT ACTUALLY. WORKED. in fact, it was a SWEEPING success where he got EVERYONE safely off the red flag ship and onto his own!!!! this wasn't just some raid won with brute force or a fuckery accomplished due to loony tunes rules, this was an honest-to-god escape plan that required learning the shifts of the guards on deck and at the entrance to the brig to ensure those spaces would be as empty as possible, knowledge of the sleepy-time effects of chamomile in concentrated forms, knowledge of the layout of the ship he's been on for, what? a few days? maybe a week?, knowledge of where they store their weapons and then figuring out how to use the crossbow as a zipline AND remembering to have someone cut the line to prevent any red flag crew from boarding the revenge, figuring out how they can use towels to use said zipline, remembering that the revenge no longer has a wheel and utilizing wee john's strength to secure them a new one while disabling the red flag ship thus greatly increasing their chances of a successful escape. i guess now we know what the hell is going on in towels (it's scheming and plotting)

-jim grabbing archie's hand has they leave the brig

-stede's little hand gesture and "sss" noise he makes to communicate to lucius and black pete they're gonna move forward now even though they're all physically so close it literally would've been quieter if he just whispered his directions to them

-the person at the wheel looking longingly up into the sky. how much do we wanna bet she was thinking about zheng

-"just breathe into it black pe-" WHY ARE THEY SHUSHING MY BOY BUTTONS HE'S RIGHT

-"oy, ya cockeyed -" STOP SILENCING HIM

-"aye look at that, see that black pete -" LET HIM SPEAK

-IZZY PUSHING BUTTONS'S HAND DOWN AS HE'S TELLING BLACK PETE TO OBSERVE ARCHIE'S SHOOTING FORM IS EVERYTHING TO ME

-wee john profusely apologizing to the person he knocked unconscious before knocking them unconscious and then again after stealing their wheel. he is so dear to me

-i genuinely love how buttons wastes NO time in assuming his first mate duties again and directing frenchie and roach to start preparing the ship for sailing. it's just a nice reminder that stede chose him as his first mate for a reason beyond his propensity to attract a motley crew of unique characters - buttons is a genuinely highly skilled, highly competent, and extremely dedicated and hard working sea farer. who may or may not actually be a sea witch that has taken on the form of a humble man

-i actually am very charmed by olu still trying to persuade zheng to spare the lives of his friends while they're making out

-ooooohhhhh the fact that olu had to choose between zheng and jim was such a delightful mini conflict to see him go through. i might wind up making a post about his thoughts and motivations in that moment later on because it's so quick but so profound

-okay 1) the raw emotions in zheng's yell when she sees olu escaping on the revenge literally gave me goosebumps. 2) the look of absolute betrayal on her face in that closing shot gave me even MORE goosebumps. 3) ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR SLIGHTLY SUPERNATURAL FIRST MATE Y'ALL THEY ALWAYS KNOW WHAT'S UP

-i can't wait to see how this betrayal plays out in terms of the red flag fleet being an enemy to the revenge, even though we know it's temporary since we've seen Zheng Yi Sao and her fleet fighting alongside ed and stede in the s2 trailer and in the promotional materials for upcoming episodes

-UHHHH STEDE'S HEARTBROKEN FACE AS THEY'RE LEAVING HELLO?????????????????????????????????

-izzy trying to genuinely thank stede is so. Character Arc.

-also archie and jim training/fake sword fighting in the background

-"clarity? you've made your choice" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-ed realizing that he really just hates himself is going to be MY villain origin story

-what the HELL was up with hornigold doing that howl. hated that

-"i'm not loveable" "and you're scared to do anything about it" i swan to john im gonna start chewing on the steel cables that hold up suspension bridges you literally cannot do this to me right now

-hey so fun fact when kate bush's song kicked in i actually desperately wished someone would've given me one of those neat chamomile towels that makes you pass out instantly because :) i am wholly unequipped :) to hear that song :) in the context of this next scene :))))

-seriously if you haven't read the lyrics to that song yet, first contact your local veterinarian's office and schedule and appointment to be put down whenever their next available time is, then look up the lyrics

-stede calling him a nut again i literally

-UGH the CONFLICT you can see on stede's face when deciding whether or not to remove the fabric covering ed's head or not. does he want to remove the fabric so he can say one final goodbye, face to face? or does he want to leave the fabric on so his last image of ed in his memory will be when he's alive and excited at the prospect of running away with stede?

-the fact that stede is literally pulling the wool from over ed's eyes and waking him back up both physically and spiritually(???)

-like ed, who was resigned to his fate and at peace with his choice to sink into the depths and never wake up again, INSTANTLY finds the motivation to live the SECOND stede interacts with him and he starts fighting as hard as he can to return to the surface, and just when he thinks he's not strong enough and he'll succumb to the darkness anyway, a light appears to pull him back from the brink. stede's voice comes through begging ed to wake up, to come back to him, don't die please don't die, he's here now. and ed's face as he's hearing stede talk to him is so full of love and amusement and admiration and then a little confusion as mermaid!stede appears but goes right back into his fully smitten expression and longing gaze and i just. don't know how we were ever expected to recover from this.

-THEY WERE ACTUALLY SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CRAZY TO JUST THROW THE GOD DAMN GENTLEBEARD/BLACKBONNET SEASON 1 BEST MOMENTS MONTAGE AT US LIKE THAT WITH NO WARNING DURING AN ALREADY EXTREMELY EMOTIONALLY TAXING SCENE

-anyway i am both irreparably broken inside and also reborn from this episode. thank you alyssa lane and alex sherman and also i will never forgive you for this