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sxcret-garden · 3 months

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Haechan ღ Painted with You [M]

ღ NCT Dream Haechan x fem!reader ღ feat.: short mentions of Renjun & Jeno ღ words: ~15k ღ genre: college AU, fwb to lovers, exes to lovers, fluff, slice of life, slow burn, pining, reader is a little dense, angst, humor, smut (switch!Haechan (but sub-leaning), oral (both receiving), hair pulling (idol receiving), unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, some begging, fingering, handjob, edging, orgasm denial (idol receiving), dry humping) ღ warnings: alcohol consumption, depiction of anxiety and reader feeling burnt out, mentions of unhealthy coping mechanisms

Desc.: You and Donghyuck were a couple back in high school, each having your own reasons for dating the other, but ultimately what you seeked out in each other was a distraction. Now that you meet again five years later, you both come to realize that the connection between you is still there, and eventually it’s crystal clear that the people you’ve become won’t be as easily separated as back then.

Author's note: aaaa I've had this in my drafts for sooo long avoiding to proofread it cause I wasn't happy with this at all... so now I finally came back to it to edit a bit and I think in the end it turned out quite okay^^ I hope you guys like it 🫶

There’s a hint of victory in the smile he gives you when you sit down next to him. Like he knew it would come to this - that you’d get bored of exchanging mundanities with the others and eventually find yourself drawn to him as your only escape. And it’s not like you didn’t know it too, it was clear from the moment you greeted each other with a hug that lasted shorter than it should have, and at the same time felt more familiar than you wanted it to. Yet his stance is inviting as he turns his whole body towards you in his seat, and the curiousity in his eyes is apparent.

“Long time no see,” he says, and it comes out softer than you would’ve expected it to. And he probably had the same thought, because he’s clearing his throat now, talking more firmly as he continues, “What have you been up to?” The last time you’ve seen each other was at your high school graduation ceremony, and since then it’s been almost five years. Which, as your former class president Renjun had decided, was about enough time to gather for a reunion.

“Well, you know. This and that,” you try to avoid an answer, but of course he wouldn’t let you off the hook so easily. He knows you too well for that.

“Come on,” he snorts. “You can tell me. My time wasn’t spent in a purely productive manner either.”

“You probably spent about 3 years total on just playing video games…” you say with a grin playing on your lips, and you make him huff in disbelief, before his expression as well returns to a somewhat mischievous smile.

“Now that was just tactless,” he says, straightening his back now. “I quit uni to go to work, and then started again with a different major. So now I’m a freshman!” He gives you a peace sign with his hand, sounding a lot prouder about the fact than he should’ve been.

“Feeling like 19 again?” you joke.

“Yes! Everyone automatically assumes I’m their age,” he explains. “But then I tell them I’m older, so I can make them work for me!” An exaggeratedly mischievous laugh follows, and you can only shake your head at his shenanigans.

“You haven’t changed at all,” you say, turning away and facing the bartender working just a few seats away. Originally you were all going out for dinner and nothing more, but when some girls suggested paying a nearby bar a visit, nobody could refuse in the face of getting some booze into their veins. Maybe you aren’t the only one who’s getting fucked over by life.

“One margarita,” you raise your hand and order, then you add, directed at Donghyuck, “Anything for you?”

“Just soju.” And so after placing both your orders, he adds, “Still can’t drink the adult drinks?”

“Excuse you, it has alcohol in it, so it is an adult drink. But if you’re asking if I still hate bitter stuff - yes I do.”

“I see… anyway, I’m not letting you get away without properly answering my question.”

“Too bad,” you respond. “Well…” And then you hesitate. You remember what it was like between the two of you in high school. When you were dating, each for your own reasons and certainly not because you had feelings for each other. But he still felt like a friend you could entrust your deepest feelings with - you knew each other like the back of your own hand. And yet, you find yourself hesitating in the face of five years passed by without a word from the other. It wasn’t like you had a fight or broke up on bad terms. It’s just that you both agreed it would be better not to see each other again, for reasons that seemed smart at the time. But now that you’re looking at the person he’s become and how much he seems to have grown up, you’re not sure anymore what those reasons even were.

“That bad?” Donghyuck interrupts your train of thought as he raises an eyebrow at you, and when you shake your head a short laugh escapes him.

“No, just… I’m also still in university,” you say. “I had to take a year off, so I’m trying to finish everything now. It’s not going great though.”

“Oh…” he looks away, directing his gaze at his hands that he’s hiding in the sleeves of his knitted sweater. “Are you managing though?” And that’s when you suddenly feel the past and the present connect - the way he immediately becomes serious when the situation calls for it, just like he has always done, makes you feel safe to keep speaking, and to keep your heart open, just for a bit.

“It’s… difficult,” you admit. The bartender sets down your ordered drinks, causing another pause, and you acknowledge it with a nod. “I’m trying not to do too much, but you know what’s it like living here.”

“Yeah,” he says. “That fucked you over before, didn’t it?”

“Yeah.” You fall silent after that, but not for long. Your conversation partner is Donghyuck after all, he wouldn’t let an awkward silence get too long.

“I have changed… by the way.” You raise your eyebrows at him as he speaks those words, letting the sip of your cocktail slowly trickle down your throat.

“Have you?” you ask. “Well, I mean… you’ve grown up.”

“Oh?” Suddenly seeing him straightening his back as he’s overjoyed, you can’t but giggle at the way his face is graced with a beaming smile now, but he glosses it over with a cough and a sip of his soju.

“But you sure are still the same guy,” you add, a nostalgic smile on your lips.

“I guess,” he agrees, his features softening. Another pause falls upon you as you give your cocktail another taste, and this time it’s you who breaks the silence. Continuously chatting, you’re starting to feel a little tipsy from the sweet beverage after a while.

“I heard you got a girlfriend?” Donghyuck huffs, a wide smile meant to hide a bitter feeling appearing on his face.

“Yeah…”

“What about her?” you pry, sensing something off.

“Dumped me,” he simply says, then pointing across the room and at Jeno, one of your former classmates. “For that guy.”

“Ouch.”

“It’s whatever,” he shrugs it off, pouring himself another glass and offering the shot to you instead. “You sure you don’t want any?”

“I’d rather have my own drink, thanks.”

“Alright. Then cheers.” He downs the shot, grimacing at the taste, and when he sets the glass back down, he adds, “I don’t get why she went for him anyway. I bet it’s cause of all that muscle he got.” You can’t help but chuckle at his words, and you hit his upper arm playfully.

“You should hit the gym too and then see if you can get her back.”

“Very funny,” he replies dryly. “I’d rather die.”

“Understandable…” you reply, taking another sip of your drink as well. “So… you’re probably glad I finally came to you.” Donghyuck shoots you a questioning look and you explain yourself. “For a distraction. Like in the old days, you know?”

“Ahh…” He merely lets out a sound, before staring at his empty shot glass.

“You’re not doing that anymore?” you assume.

“I guess.”

“Yeah… me too,” you say. “Or like… I stopped using people for it.”

You were dating back then, that’s true, but you wouldn’t go as far as to call yourselves high school sweethearts. You were both going through some stuff - for him it was a breakup with his first love, for you it was just life itself. When you were both at your lowest you started talking properly, and it soon became clear that you both wanted nothing more than to escape. And so you formed an alliance - as you used to call it, to everyone else you simply said that you were a couple now. You did behave like a couple, but just for the rush. The first time you held his hand you felt nothing, but when you made out secretly in the backyard of your school instead of attending class, that’s when you were overwhelmed with excitement. It was a stupid idea, you know that now too, and it only worked for so long. You spent the summer of your junior year together, meeting up almost every day and talking, and eventually distracting yourselves by making out secretly in your or his room. And then your final year came, and as you started seeing yourselves forced to take life a bit more seriously, you gradually met up less, until you both agreed that breaking up would be the best decision, so that you could focus on your studies and try to get into a good university. At least for your part, you still have mixed feelings when you remember that day. Because you know you made the adult decision, but at the same time you always end up thinking back to what fooling around with him felt like when you have a bad day now, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss it at least a bit. But you found other distractions - obsessing over tv series, finding just the perfect kind of music to drown out your feelings, and sometimes, whenever you could find a good excuse to drink with friends, alcohol. Though you’re being careful with the latter, just as you are now. One drink is usually enough to help you relax a bit and not pay all the things stressing you out so much thought.

“So when are we gonna start writing your redemption arc?” you ask nonchalantly, and he raises an eyebrow at you. “Your ex.”

“Stop that, for real,” he says, and the way he remains serious tells you your joke wasn’t well received.

“Sorry,” you utter.

“It’s fine. I mean, it’s not fine, but you know what I mean.”

“Yeah.” He’s playing with the glass in his hands, thumb rubbing along its edge as he keeps staring at it, and you take the last few sips of your drink, before you too start spinning the cocktail glass around between your fingers.

“Actually…” Donghyuck speaks up, now throwing you an entirely different look. “How about we get out of here. Maybe we could both use a distraction after all.”

“But-”

“Just for today.” You stare at him blankly, blinking once, twice, then a third time. This sounds like a bad idea, but at the same time you know you’re probably not gonna see each other for the next five years, just like it was for the past five. So what would be so bad about taking his offer now?

“Alright,” you say eventually, having made up your mind. “My place? It’s nearby.” His lips are parted slightly as he watches you jump out of your seat and put on your jacket. As the air around you changes, so does the look in his eyes, and a moment later he gets up too, his arm wrapped loosely around your waist while he holds the door open for you as he walks you out of the place.

“You really have changed,” you comment as you’re sneaking out, so none of the others would notice, and you giggle at your unnecessary secrecy once you’re past the entrance to the building.

“I can be a gentleman too!” he insists. “Of course a high school boy wouldn’t think of that.” You catch the pout that forms on his lips as he adds the last part, and you inevitably laugh, pointing at his face.

“But you’re also really still the same.”

You decide on going to your place, as it’s nearby, and you take a taxi there. Though you know this is only going to be a one time thing, neither of you seems to be in a rush. You take the elevator to the sixth floor, grinning at each other in silence the entire ride - maybe because this reminds the both of you a bit too much of the way you used to sneak off together all the time back in school. But once you arrive at your apartment, the atmosphere between you somehow changes, and as you’re walking over to your little kitchen to offer him a drink, he stops you, wrapping his arm around your waist. His touch is firm now, and he comes to a halt when he’s standing right in front of you, closer than a friend would, but leaving more distance between you than a lover would, and keeping his voice lowered, he asks,

“So… are we going to go right to the distraction part? Or do we need to pretend that we still need to warm up to each other first?” You find him staring at your lips, then returning his gaze to your eyes as he waits patiently for your response. And you don’t manage to come up with anything smart to say to him, so you simply take a step forward, wrapping your arms loosely around his shoulders, and you kiss him. His lips feel soft, just like you remember them, melting against yours perfectly. Yet there’s a firmness to his kiss that feels new to you. He used to always kiss you with eagerness, too much of it at times, impatient to feel more of you and for you to take control. It was no secret between you two that he actually quite enjoyed being put into his place by you, and now that there’s no such intentions apparent behind the way he moves his lips against yours, you find yourself having your breath taken away by the time you part.

“You really did grow up well…” you mutter, barely an inch apart. “Did your ex teach you to kiss like that?”

“Watch your mouth, Y/N,” he mutters darkly, another side of him that’s not exactly new to you, but one that you haven’t seen a lot in the past. And then he simply brushes his lips against yours again, softly and with care, quite in contrast to his sharp words. “I don’t wanna ruin this with thoughts about people I don’t know anymore.”

“Right…” you whisper, and before you can add a mumbled apology, he presses his lips to yours again. In between short kisses that inevitably leave you longing for more, he steers you closer to the wall behind you, until he has you trapped against it. Your shoulders meet the cold surface gently, and as you’re slowly getting to know this different side of him, you feel yourself being swept off your feet like he never knew how to.

One of his hands resting on your waist, his fingertips creep towards your hip as you’re sharing an open mouthed kiss. A moan escapes you when he presses you up against the wall closer, and as he slowly parts from you, you can see the playful grin showing on his face now.

“You changed too,” he comments, and again he closes the distance between you without giving you a chance to question his words. Your hands finding their way up into his short hair, your fingers get tangled with the strands and you carefully tug at them as he deepens this kiss as well. He’s kissing you slowly as you let him have the lead naturally, and as you keep making out like this, you eventually find yourself burning up whole under his touch. He moves from your mouth to your neck eventually, and you lean your head back with a deep sigh as he begins scattering hot kisses all over the area. His hand that’s been propped up against the wall now finds the back of your nape to support you, and when he comes back up, he whispers a question,

“Do we keep going like we used to? Or do you wanna go all the way this time?” Drunk on his kisses, you pull him in for another one on the mouth, and as you part you mutter,

“We’re not kids anymore. Let’s go all the way.” You step aside and he lets you, and you reach for his hands to walk him over to your couch. Giving him a push, he lets himself fall back onto the sofa, leaning against the backrest as his curious gaze never leaves you. “Don’t need this anymore…” you mumble as you pull off your shirt and throw it somewhere onto the ground, and then you crawl into his lap to straddle him. His hands find purchase on your hips immediately as he looks up at you with warm eyes. You cup his face in your hands and you lean in, capturing his lips in a teasing kiss. Sinking your teeth into his bottom lip, you lure a breathy moan out of him, and wanting to hear more, you keep kissing him like that. Feathery touches that would for sure make him want more eventually become overshadowed by you rolling his hips on top of him, and with each time he lets you hear his voice you become more eager. It’s almost as if you’ve become the one who can’t wait, and he’s the one acting with patience.

“Never knew you could turn me on this much,” he mutters as you pull back, moving your hips at a leisurely pace. You can undoubtedly feel the bulge in his pants, and it’s certainly not leaving you unaffected.

“I grew up too, Hyuck,” you say, and then you bury your face in his neck. You kiss a trail up to the spot right below his ear as he leans back, and his hands wander up your sides and to your back when you start nibbling on his skin.

“Mhm… you did, hm?” he answers. He finds the clasp of your bra and undoes it, and as the piece of clothing slides down your arms, you sit back so he can take it off you and fling it to the ground as well, somewhere in the general direction of where your shirt should be. He holds onto your sides as he takes in the sight in front of him, and as he draws closer to connect his lips to the skin on your chest, you can hear him saying,

“I know I never told you this as a boy but you look beautiful. I really regret not saying that to you.” He kisses his way up from the valley of your breasts to your throat and then back to your mouth, and just before he can connect his lips to yours, you whisper,

“It’s fine. I might’ve actually fallen for you if you had done that.” You laugh, and he does too, but his grin has a different meaning to it than yours.

“Don’t say that. We don’t want anything unfortunate to happen.” Connecting his lips to yours, he runs his tongue across them to ask for permission to enter, and without protest you let him deepen the kiss.

“Now you’re the one who said it,” you mumble a response in between kisses. “That’s a stupid thought anyway.”

“Right.” His fingertips dance south along your spine, and he eventually tugs at your pants as a sign that he wants those off as well. And so you peel yourself out of his hold, and while you’re discarding your jeans, he slips out of his shirt, and both clothing items land somewhere on the floor, soon to be forgotten. He makes you lie down flat on the couch as he crawls on top of you, and when he leaves a trail of small kisses up your torso, one of his hands finds its way to your hips, thumb hooking under the fabric of your panties.

“These too,” he says. “I want these off too.” You give him the okay to take them off as you comb your fingers through his hair once, and as soon as he’s gotten rid of the last piece of clothing on your body, he lowers himself to let his lips draw a map of your figure. Feeling his warm hands against your sides, you let out a sigh as you lean your head back and you close your eyes for a bit, just enjoying the way his kisses feel against your skin. Your hands fly to his hair again, and you find yourself massaging his scalp as he’s slowly going down on you. You let him lift your legs up onto his shoulders eventually, and when he buries his face between your legs, you can’t but let out a small moan. Tongue lapping at your folds, he hums at your taste, and then he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking on it gently.

“That feel good?” he asks, slurring his words a bit, and you nod, tugging at the strands of hair between your fingers.

“Yeah. Keep going…” And so he does, alternating between teasing you with his lips and the tip of his tongue, and when he retrieves one hand to slide his fingers inside you, he comments,

“So wet for me, hm?”

“Y-yeah…” You can unmistakably feel the knot in your stomach being tied tighter with every single touch of his, and when he pumps his fingers in and out of you at a frustratingly slow pace, you find yourself begging for more. “Faster… p-please…” Donghyuck simply hums at your plea, before he obliges, curling his fingers inside you just a little faster. Gradually picking up on speed, the way he flicks his tongue against your clit along with the waves of pleasure that run through your body with each time he hits that sweet spot inside you make you slowly lose your mind, and you let him know just how good he’s making you feel by moaning in tune with his movements.

“Don’t stop… please don’t stop…” you mewl as you look down on yourself to find him already gazing back up at you, observing all of your reactions closely through half-lidded eyes. Just a few more repetitions and he’s throwing you over the edge, making you clench around his fingers as you throw your head back with a moan. “Fuck…” you mutter after he pulls out of you carefully, and he crawls back up to kiss you on the lips. You can taste yourself on his tongue as you share a lazy kiss, and once you part, you place your palms on his chest to push him off you.

“Your turn,” you simply state as you sit up and you make some space so you can comfortably kneel in front of the sofa. Getting the message, he hurriedly rids himself of his pants and boxers, and when he sits down in front of you, you don’t waste another second to wrap your fingers around his length. Giving him a few strokes, he’s fully hard in no time, and he watches as he leans back, enjoying the attention.

“You really have no patience anymore, huh,” he mutters, and you lick your lips before returning his gaze.

“Want me to torture you a bit? Make you beg for it? I can do that too.”

“I can beg if you want me to,” he retorts, the confident expression not being wiped off his face so easily, and you decide to keep that piece of information in mind. Just in case. But for now you’re not planning on making him wait - he’s right, you’ve become impatient, and you’re dying to know what kind of sounds you might lure out of him with his dick in your mouth. You swirl your tongue around his tip a few times, watching him part his lips slightly as he lets you hear a deep sigh and a praise directed at you. “That’s right…” he mutters, and when you take his tip into your mouth fully, he lets you hear a moan so sweet, you swear you could cum just from the sound of it. Slowly bobbing your head up and down and having your hand that’s wrapped around his base follow those same movements, you enjoy the way he keeps moaning at your ministrations, until eventually you hum in approval and he whines from the pleasure.

“Fuck…” A curse escapes him when his tip hits the back of your throat and you gag a little, and you find yourself amused at how easy it is to make a guy whine as soon as you have him in a position like this. You go painfully slow, but he takes all of your teasing, and just when you start feeling bad for him because of how desperate his moans are, you speed up, making sure to take him in as far as you can.

“Shit, Y/N…” he calls out to you. “Wait-”

“Hm?” You come up at his words, letting him slip out of your mouth.

“Wanna cum in your pussy…” The request makes you grin.

“So demanding…” you mutter, shooting him a challenging look.

“Please…” he tries to convince you, his pupils shaking as he’s awaiting your answer. But you’ve already made up your mind on how you’re going to proceed, and so you merely throw him a grin, before taking him back into your mouth. He throws his head back at you sucking him off at a faster pace now, probably in a mixture of frustration and pleasure, and as more curses fall from his lips along with your name, you know he’s close. You hum at his desperation and at the way he’s twitching in your hand while he’s bucking his hips up into your touch, and the next time you’re sinking all the way down on him, he cums with a moan. You try to swallow everything as he releases into your mouth, and when you let go of him you lick your lips to get the rest of it too, all while he watches with a hazy mind. And then you crawl into his lap, leaving a trail of kisses down the side of his throat, and eventually you say,

“Why not both?” You grab his face in one hand, gaze falling to his lips, and before he can say anything you kiss him to cut off his train of thought. “We have so much time tonight…” you mutter against his lips in between kisses, and he merely lets out small moans at your words. “We can do all the things we want. But let’s move somewhere more comfortable first.” And so you hurriedly walk over to your bedroom, Donghyuck pushing you against the mattress as soon as you’re there, and he doesn’t waste a single second to kiss you again. His lips nipping at your collarbones, you throw your arms around him, until finally you switch positions again, and you end up sitting on top of him, sinking down on his hard cock and biting your lower lip from how good it feels to be filled up like this.

“Fuck…” Now it’s you who’s cursing, fingers intertwined with his as you’re pinning his hands down to keep yourself stable. You know he’s drinking up the sight in front of him as you start slowly riding him, and the way he looks at you only turns you on more.

“Shit, you look so pretty like this…” he mumbles, completely taken aback, and he sits up, freeing his hands to hold onto your sides instead. “Can I kiss you?”

“You’re asking that now?” you chuckle as you wrap your arms around his shoulders and he lets out a short laugh as he too realizes how ridiculous his question was.

“You’re right,” he mutters, leaning in. “Then I’ll just kiss you whenever I want.” A rush of heat courses through your body as he presses his lips against yours, and you roll your hips on top of him just a little faster.

“Please do,” you whisper, barely audible, before Donghyuck closes the distance between you again. You take your time making out, until both of you feel that you’re coming close again, and with one hand between your bodies, he starts rubbing your clit for you as you keep your pace.

“I’ll help you,” he whispers, unable to take his eyes off your face as you’re both completely drunk on the other’s touches.

“Mhm…” you moan, chasing your own high on top of him. You’re the first one who comes undone, digging your nails into his shoulders and burying your face in the crook of his neck as your high shakes you.

“Don’t stop, Y/N…” His words sound desperate, and you do your best to keep moving despite feeling the overstimulation building up. He has both his hands on your back now, and you let out a moan when you feel him dragging his nails down to your hips. “Shit…!” Spitting out a curse, he releases inside you, and finally you come to a halt. You stay in your positions for a while, waiting until your heartbeats have returned to a normal pace in each other’s arms, before you both lie down side by side, out of breath and grinning at the other.

“Didn’t think you’d get that good without me…” he mutters a comment.

“Hey!” you shout playfully. “What was I supposed to do if you just disappear on me like that?”

“You didn’t contact me either,” he tries to defend himself, but you both know it was him who stopped replying to your messages, even though your conversations were already scarce after graduating. For now you decide to say nothing - your mind filled with bliss from what your night out ended up turning into, you wouldn’t want to ruin the mood. Instead, he’s the one to break the silence.

“Wanna keep going?” he asks, scooting over closer to you and making you lie flat on your back, kissing a trail down your jawline and placing a hand on top of your stomach. “I wanna keep going,” he adds, more silently, as his fingers are already wandering south.

“Alright,” you mutter, your hand up in his hair again as he drags his fingers down your folds, dipping inside once and then coming back up to your clit to draw circles onto it. “If I walk weird tomorrow it’s your fault,” you add, laughing.

“You just made me wanna see that,” he jokes back, before pressing a kiss to the side of your throat and letting his fingers take care of you.

You keep in touch after that, texting each other throughout the day - even on those days where you barely find the time or energy to be social, you’ll at least send some memes back and forth - and meeting up whenever you both have some free time. It really feels like you’re continuing right where you had left off five years ago whenever you find yourselves unable to stop laughing because of your own bickering, or when you’re sitting side by side, having a more serious conversation and simply offering an open ear to the other. And at the same time something about the way you treat each other has undoubtedly changed. Of course you both grew up and you’re more mature than you were as high school students, but it seems there’s something else lingering in the air during every interaction you have, you just can’t really put your finger on what that is.

You also keep meeting up to have sex.

“So? What does that make us?” you ask a question into the dimly lit room, staring up at the ceiling. You’re both lying side by side on his bed, the sheets beneath you messed up as evidence of what you’ve been doing, and the chilly air in the room hitting your skin lets you cool down a bit.

“What? This?” Donghyuck asks, turning his head so he could look at you.

“Yeah,” you respond. “We’re not just friends if we’re constantly hooking up, are we?” Your words are accompanied by a chuckle, meant to tell him that you’re not being as serious as you sound. Or maybe you are, but mostly because your other friends keep asking where you’re sneaking off so frequently these days, and why you don’t seem to have the time to meet up with them anymore. And everytime you tell them you’re seeing a different friend, a part of you feels like you’re lying. Maybe that’s because they’ve stopped believing you too, and they keep urging you on to finally admit that you’re dating someone. But you’re not dating Donghyuck, right?

“Fuckbuddies?” He rolls onto his side, head supported by his hand, and he gives you a mischievous look.

“I guess,” you say, and after some consideration you add, “My friends keep asking who I’m meeting all the time. They think I have a boyfriend.”

“Well, what does it feel like when you kiss me?” You’re too stunned to speak for a moment, not expecting him to pose such a serious question.

“I mean… you’re a good kisser?” You grin at him, rolling onto your side as well so you could face him, and as you’re drawing near, he’s already reaching out to capture your chin between his thumb and index finger.

“That’s all?”

“I think so.” He lets his lips brush against yours, puffy and reddened from making out earlier, and you feel warmth wrap around you. You also feel safe with him, but that’s not exclusively related to him kissing you, so you don’t feel the need to mention it.

“Then I can’t be your boyfriend,” he mutters when you part.

“So friends… with benefits then?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, great,” you say, letting yourself fall onto your back, sinking into the mattress. “I can’t go around telling my friends that I’m seeing a fuckbuddy.” Your friend giggles beside you.

“I mean you don’t have to,” he says. “If it’s easier to explain, you can just pretend you’re seeing a boyfriend. I don’t mind.”

“I wonder…” you mumble, more to yourself than to him. “Then they’ll want to meet you, so… anyway.” You sit up, letting your feet dangle off the side of the bed. “I’m kinda hungry. You wanna order something?”

“I’ll make us some ramen. But we should shower first.” He sits up as well, and when you throw him a look over your shoulder, he cocks his head to the side, giving you another grin. “Together?” You laugh at his suggestion.

“You just want another round in there, don’t you? We’re never gonna get food in that case. I’m going alone.”

“Awww…” he whines in defeat and it makes you smile. You crawl closer to him, placing a peck onto his pouting lips.

“We kiss an awful lot for fuckbuddies, though,” you remark, and then you get up.

“I don’t think we’re kissing nearly enough…” he mumbles an answer. Amused by his words, you shoot him another glance, and then you trot off to the bathroom.

“You free Friday night?” You glance at your phone screen when it lights up to quickly read Donghyuck’s message that you just received, and as you let out a sigh, you return your focus to the notebook in front of you. Skimming through your handwritten notes from the lecture you visited every wednesday afternoon a year ago still gives you anxiety - you’re not sure what more you’re supposed to study than this and the materials displayed on your laptop screen, and yet you don’t feel nearly prepared enough. You’re in your last semester - or at least you’re planning for this to be the last one - and you finally forced yourself to register for the exam you keep postponing because you horribly failed it the first time. The worst part is that it’s an oral exam, so no turning back once you’ve answered (or not answered) a question, even if a better response comes to you later on during the exam. And you hate that, because you know your brain tends to black out in stressful situations, and panicking while you’re supposed to recite your knowledge on a complicated topic doesn’t exactly help with that. You tear your eyes away from the materials eventually, taking another sip of your coffee and then picking up your phone off the small round dinner table in your flat.

“Sorry, I don’t have time then ㅠㅠ” You press send, and it doesn’t take long for your friend to reply.

“On the weekend? I’m busy Saturday but Sunday is fine!!”

“I don’t think I can make time until Tuesday. Sorry. Difficult exam coming up…”

“Then you should take a break!! I’m sure you’ve been studying all day” He’s not wrong with his assumption, but still you can’t bring yourself to set aside a few hours to fool around with him. You wouldn’t be able to relax and truly get the exam off your mind anyway, so you refuse again, even if it hurts you.

It’s been like this for a while now. The last time you’ve seen Donghyuck’s face was almost three weeks ago - after that university and sending job applications have taken up all your free time, and the few hours you had in between to rest you simply spent alone in the comfort of your own apartment, feeling too exhausted to even consider making plans with someone else. You know it might do you good to get out more for other things than going to uni, but at the same time you know you simply don’t have the energy right now - or you would’ve already scheduled a meetup with friends. It sucks, and you’re hoping for some space to breathe in between your schedules sometime soon, but at the same time you know you will be busy with uni until your graduation, and from then on you’ll be busy getting accustomed to work and proving yourself there. And the more you think about it, the more it starts to dawn on you that things will likely not change in the near future, and that somehow the life of a freshman and that of a senior don’t really match well at all.

But you brush those thoughts off for now. The last thing you need right now is a distraction, and so you get back to revising the contents for the exam.

And then comes Sunday afternoon, and you can feel the panic coursing through your veins as if you were about to suffocate from it any second now. You’ve always had some kind of exam anxiety, but it’s never been this bad, and you have absolutely no idea what to do with it except endure and hope that tomorrow will pass quickly. That’s when your phone buzzes to let you know you’ve gotten a message, and what you see when you open the chat room tips you over the edge.

“This would’ve been more fun if we had watched it together~” - along with a picture of a laptop screen showing the credits of a movie, the interior of Donghyuck’s flat showing in the background. Your hands are shaking as you read his message, your head spinning because suddenly the stress and a feeling of helplessness overwhelms you. You end up doing the first thing that comes to mind - you call him. He picks up after the first ring.

“Jealous?” he teases you, and you stay quiet, your words suddenly stuck in your throat. Hearing only your ragged breathing, he sounds serious when he continues talking after a few moments of silence. “Are you okay?”

“No.”

“What’s up? Wanna talk about it?”

“...the exam…”

“Ahh… you’re freaking out because of it?”

“Y-yeah…” Tears well up in your eyes, but you fight hard to keep them from falling. You know if you start crying now, chances are you won’t be able to talk properly in order to explain yourself to him. “I studied everything but I don’t feel like it’s enough… I have no idea how I’m supposed to pass tomorrow…” A sob escapes you at the end of it, and Donghyuck doesn’t hesitate to answer,

“I’ll come over. Just wait for me and hold tight, I’ll be there in 30.”

And so that’s what he does. He doesn’t even give you the time to refuse when he hangs up, and sure enough roughly 30 minutes later he’s at your doorstep. Putting down his bags and taking off his shoes, the first thing he does is pull you into a tight hug.

“Come here,” whispered against the side of your head as he’s already holding you close, he hugs you until he can feel some of the tension leaving your body. When he finally lets you go, he picks up a paper bag he brought with him, holding it out to you and you take it from him. “I bought them on the way. I thought you could use some comfort food.” A glance inside the bag reveals a box decorated with the logo of your favourite bakery.

“Oh my god… thank you!” you exclaim, and you give him another hug as he lets out a bit of an awkward laugh.

“Ah, it’s fine, it’s nothing. Let’s have these while we go over your materials together, okay?”

“Huh?” You take a step back and raise your eyebrows at him.

“I came to help you study. So you can kick ass tomorrow!” Throwing a fist in the air in a victorious gesture, you cringe a bit at his childlike enthusiasm, but at the same time you feel thankful. Like you had been in free fall for the past days and finally someone came to catch you.

“Okay,” you accept his offer to help, and then you walk over to the small table in your living room where your laptop and your notes are scattered all over. Briefly organizing them, you skim through them together, and when you’ve reached the end of it, Donghyuck starts asking you random questions related to the topic that he can come up with. And with every question that you manage to answer, you feel just a little calmer, until you’ve gone through everything several times and it’s long dark outside.

“You’re gonna do well tomorrow,” the guy sitting next to you tells you, throwing his hand up in the air to do some stretching and you do the same, your body aching for a bit of movement after sitting down for hours.

“You think so?”

“Of course!” He seems almost offended at you doubting yourself now. “Look at all these things you memorized perfectly! You’re gonna be just fine.”

“You’re right…” you mutter. “I do feel more confident now.” Yet, you let your head hang.

“But…?” he asks.

“But… I know by the time the exam starts tomorrow I’ll be so nervous, I might forget everything…” He reaches for your hands, taking them into his and giving both of them a gentle squeeze as he looks intently at your face.

“Then you think about how well you just did and how long we just spent repeating everything you studied. With this much preparation, there’s no way you would fail.” You know that realistically speaking, that’s not necessarily true, but you decide to believe him for now. Putting trust into his words puts you at ease, so that’s what you’re going to do.

“Alright,” you say. “It’ll be fine.”

“Of course it will,” he says, laughing as if he had not a single doubt about it.

“But…”

“Another but?”

“It’s almost 2am,” you say.

“Oh.”

“Wanna stay over? It takes you ages to get home if you have to take the night buses, right?”

“It’s fine, I’ll just take a taxi,” he replies, adding, “I don’t wanna stress you out more by staying over.”

“No, I-” All the times you felt yourself forced to turn down his invitations to meet up during the past few weeks are suddenly fresh in your memory, and eventually you manage to say, “I’d actually be thankful if you could stay over… you know… keep the bad thoughts away…”

“Sure…” he responds, and growing very quiet suddenly, he gets up to wrap you into another hug. “I’ll stay.”

You each take a shower and get ready for bed, him throwing on some of his clothes you had lying around at your place anyway, and when you get under the sheets together, it feels different than usually when you sleep in the same bed. Neither of you has any thoughts about having sex for a change, and instead he simply pulls you close to let you rest your head on top of his chest. You wrap an arm around his waist as you listen to his heartbeat, already feeling sleepiness overcome you as you snuggle up to him and you can feel him drawing mindless patterns onto your skin. You feel a sense of peace and safety washing over you when your eyelids simply fall shut, and as you fall asleep you almost don’t register the way he presses a soft kiss onto your forehead.

When you open the email telling you that you got a C on your exam, the first thing you can think of doing is letting Donghyuck know.

“I passed!!!” You send him a message, and he surely doesn’t let you wait too long for an answer, along with a little sticker of a bear wearing a gold medal and giving a thumbs up.

“I told you so!!”

“It’s all thanks to you,” you write. “We need to go celebrate! Drinks on me.”

“Sounds good~”

With a broad smile on your face you put your phone into the pocket of your padded jacket. It has become cold outside, and there’s a thin layer of snow on the streets from last night. It’s the beginning of December, and before Christmas and new years you’re still going to be very busy. You have two job interviews coming up, have to prepare for your final exams and in between you should find some time to work on your dissertation. Still somehow you’re confident that you would easily be able to find a date where you can go out for your little celebration with your friend, but when you run into him on campus a week later, reality hits you right in the face.

“Y/N!” Donghyuck calls out to you as he spots you among a bunch of other students, and you fall behind to briefly talk to him.

“Oh, hi,” you say, not having seen him at all.

“You still didn’t reply to my messages,” he remarks and you immediately pull out your phone, indeed finding that you’ve left him on read two days ago.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” you apologize as you remember that you clearly had the intent to respond to him, but then very obviously failed to do so. “Ah, if we can meet… today?”

“Yesterday,” he corrects you. “But I guess that didn’t happen…” You can unmistakably see the disappointment in his expression, even though he’s doing his utmost to hide it, and you furrow your brows at the sight in front of you.

“I’m sorry… I must’ve forgotten to reply while studying or something,” you say, unable to look him in the face. “You know, finals coming up.”

“Yeah… I’m studying a lot too these days,” he says, quickly adding, “But I guess as a senior it’s only natural that you’re even busier than I am.” His words sting for some reason, but it’s not like he’s wrong. Truth be told, you’ve been studying every free minute for the past few days, and in between you had a job interview that you don’t have the best of gut feelings about. You were so busy that you barely manage to have three meals a day, and yet you feel guilty about not being able to make time for him.

“I’m really sorry, Hyuck…” you say and he mutters an “it’s okay” as an answer. “But it’s not, is it?” To that he merely glances to the side, showing a sorry smile. And right then you have an idea. “You know what?” As you reach out to take his hand into yours, he raises his eyebrows at you, taken by surprise by your sudden action. “Let’s set a date right now. Then we don’t have to worry about me forgetting to reply or something.”

“But… that won’t change the fact that you’re super busy…” he reasons, but you cut him off.

“It’s fine, I should be able to spare at least a few hours,” you say, opening your calendar app on your phone and scrolling through the days until exam week starts. “How about next Friday? Friday night sounds like a good time for a little study break and having a celebration instead.”

“S-sure.” You barely notice how he’s atypically dumbfounded at your enthusiasm, only focusing on the fact that you finally found a date to see each other again.

“Great! My place or yours?” you ask, already typing it into your phone.

“Mine… you wanna bring the drinks? Then I’ll take care of the food,” he offers, now taking his phone out as well, probably to put the meet up into his calendar as well.

“Sounds good,” you say in a rush. “Then I’ll see you Friday! Sorry, but… I really have to go now. I was gonna study some more at the library - you coming too?”

“Ah, no, I… have class in half an hour,” he explains briefly, and as you wave your goodbyes and you’re already running off, you fail to notice how his shoulders are suddenly slouched over and there’s a hint of disappointment in the way he looks at you as you’re walking away.

You sigh as you stare at the email you just received, and you immediately regret even checking your mailbox in the middle of studying in the first place. You got rejected for the last job you applied to - but at least you should be thankful that they let you know about it in the first place, right? After all, the last two companies didn’t even do that much after your interview with them. You gulp, trying to swallow all the disappointment bubbling up inside and attempting to shove it back down to where it came from, and then eventually you cross your arms on the table, resting your head on top and you close your eyes for a while. Another sigh escapes you, and you feel the weight of your responsibilities lay heavily on your shoulders. You’re trying not to beat yourself up over not having found a job for after your graduation yet - you know that everyone’s struggling with finding employment these days. But you really don’t want to take on a job you’re overqualified for, or one that’s not in your field of studies at all. You’ve already made too many compromises because of this, like being willing to move to another city for your job, or expanding on what type of positions you’re applying to. And still, nothing. It’s starting to get to you, even though you hate that it is, and even though you had told yourself to focus on your exams and your dissertation first and foremost. But all of these things stacked on top of each other have led you to lose your spark a bit, and there’s no denying you’re starting to feel burnt out.

You tell yourself it’s fine, it will pass and eventually your life will get less stressful again. But for now you can feel that you’re at your limit, and you could really use some comfort.

“Right,” you mutter to yourself, lifting your head and looking at the date displayed in the bottom corner of your laptop screen. “Only a few hours to go. Then I can see him.” It’s Friday afternoon, and so you take a deep breath and bring yourself to study some more, before you can finally go to Donghyuck’s place, spending a full evening not having to think about any of this. Burying your head in your books and your lecture notes, you end up not realizing how fast the time is passing, and next time you check the clock, it’s already past 7.

“Oh god…” you quickly pick up your phone, seeing that your friend already sent you a message asking where you are. You were scheduled to be at his place at 7, but somehow you completely lost track of time.

“I’m so sory I didn’t realize hwo late is is. Ill hurry!!” You type up that message as quickly as possible, ignoring the typos as you send it, and then you jump out of your seat to get ready.

It’s almost 8pm when he opens the door for you and you apologize first thing as you hand him the tote bag with the alcohol you had promised to bring.

“Ah, but you thought of the important stuff,” he says with a forced smile, trying to brighten the mood a bit before he invites you in and you kick off your shoes and take off your coat to follow him inside.

“I’m really really sorry,” you say once again when you’ve made yourself comfortable on his couch. “I was studying and suddenly it was already this late…”

“It’s okay,” Donghyuck says as he carries over two glasses from the kitchen, handing you one of them. “We’re both busy, it’s not like I don’t understand.”

“But you’re upset.”

“A little,” he admits without looking you in the eyes, and when he continues talking, he does his best to sound cheerful. “But let’s not let that ruin the entire evening. We were both looking forward to today, right?”

“Yeah,” you say. “You won’t believe how glad I am to finally be here,” you add, and you feel the way your body relaxes just by being near him. You earn yourself a bright smile for that comment, before he lifts up the glass in his hand.

“I found the recipe for this a few days ago and wanted to try it,” he says. “I thought it’s your style.” You find a few ice cubes swimming in the beverage he handed you, along with a slice of lemon. The color is a dark shade of yellow at the bottom, and completely transparent at the top, and you nod at the presentation.

“It looks good,” you say. “I’ll try it. Cheers!” Each taking a sip, you agree that you like the taste, and the guy sitting next to you on his sofa explains,

“The recipe says you should put a bit of mint in as well, but… I didn’t have any.”

“I think it’s good the way it is… but, I’m starving. Let’s order food?”

“Me too,” he answers, getting out his phone.

You order takeout, and while you eat and drink, you watch a movie that you’ve both been wanting to see for some time. You end up chatting here and there during less interesting scenes, and even though you enjoy the movie overall, you enjoy talking to him more. Eventually, as your eyelids begin to feel heavy, you rest your head on his shoulder and he lets you, and you don’t think anything of the peaceful smile he gives you upon feeling you so close to him. He puts one of his hands on top of your thigh, mindlessly rubbing his palm up and down, and by the end of the movie you can’t deny anymore that his actions are affecting you. Credits still rolling, you turn your head to face him, and wordlessly you kiss him, his lips melting against yours. You part for a mere second in which you put your hand behind his neck, and as you let yourself fall against the backrest of his sofa, he hovers above you, distance closing again.

“Hyuck…” you breathe his name when you part the next time. “Need you…”

“Let’s go somewhere more comfortable,” he mutters into a sweet kiss, and then he gets up, taking you by your hands to pull you up along with him. As soon as you step into the bedroom you pull him in for another kiss, and you stumble backwards as he steers you towards his bed. He barely lets you lie down when he’s already on top of you, kissing you more deeply. Tongue running across your lip to ask for permission to enter, you allow it without hesitation, and you moan at the way he kisses you slowly but passionately.

“I’ll take care of you,” he says after parting, “just lean back, okay?”

“Okay…” you answer and he lets his fingertips wander down your clothed body. Undoing the button of your jeans, he unhurriedly slips his hand inside them, and he watches you intently as his fingertips brush against your soaked panties, his voice sultry as he teases you, “So wet already… I didn’t know you were that desperate for me…” Before letting you answer, he leans in to place a lingering kiss to the corner of your mouth, starting to rub up and down between your folds slowly.

“I thought I’d go crazy without this…” you confess, arms wrapped around him and one hand up in his hair. You play with his locks as he teases you, and you whine, “More, please… don’t make me wait even longer…”

“What do you want, baby?” he asks, and then he buries his face in your neck, leaving kisses there as you throw your head back.

“Anything… even if it’s just your fingers, please just get me off…” you beg, only now realizing just how desperate you really are. Donghyuck gulps at your words, and he kisses his way up to your jaw and along it, until his lips are hovering right above yours.

“Tell me how badly you need me…” he mutters, pushing the fabric of your underwear aside so he could touch you directly. “I wanna hear everything.” As he starts rubbing small circles on your clit his lips go back to tending to your neck, kissing and nipping on the sensitive skin and making it that much more difficult for you to form coherent sentences. Still you can’t but do as told.

“So bad… need you so bad,” you mewl. “I tried to get off so many times, but nothing feels as good as when you touch me…” He hums at your words, granting you a finger dipping inside your pussy for just a moment in return and gasping at just how wet you are.

“I’ll make up for it,” he says. “I’ll make you cum so good.” You whimper, and then you instinctively buck your hips as his finger ghosts above your entrance. You hear him curse through gritted teeth at how needy you’re becoming, and blood rushes to your head from the thought alone that your state could turn him on so much as well.

“Please… just give me your fingers…” you whine, and to your surprise Donghyuck doesn’t drag out his teasing for longer. And so you cry out when he pushes inside, pumping in and out of you while watching your every reaction to his touch. “Fuck…” you hiss, already seeing your high approaching from far away. “I’m not gonna last long…”

“It’s okay,” he coos over you. “Wanna feel you cum around my fingers… can you take another one?”

“Y-yes… yes please…” you say mindlessly, only being able to think about how you want to feel him more. The stretch is bearable when he pushes into you with three fingers, and when he presses his thumb against your bundle of nerves, fingering you skillfully, you think you’re about to lose your mind. “Fuck… yes… don’t stop, please…” you mewl as he slowly picks up speed until he can see the bliss on your facial features. At this point all you can do is moan his name and dig your nails into his shoulder blades as you cling to him, bucking your hips in chase of your orgasm.

“Shit, you’re so pretty…” you hear him mutter under his breath as he marvels at the sight in front of him, and next thing you know your whole body is shaken by the force of your high. You whine as he fucks you through it, right until your last aftershocks, and then you simply close your eyes as you lay back on his bed, feeling the exhaustion from the past weeks taking over you. Licking his fingers clean after pulling out of you, he then captures your chin between his thumb and index finger to make you look at him.

“What do you want me to do next?” he asks, his words sounding maybe even sweeter than usual to your ears, and you blame it on the way your mind is still in a haze from your orgasm. You think about it for a short while, and in the end you simply snuggle up to him closely.

“Let’s just… stay like this for a while,” you answer. “If that’s okay with you… I think I just need to be close to you.”

“Sure…” Donghyuck mutters, a bit taken aback by your response that must’ve come very unexpectedly to him. However, he doesn’t hesitate to put an arm around your frame, making you feel safe in a warm embrace. “That good?” he asks, and when you nod he presses his lips against your forehead, lingering there for a while.

You don’t move, not knowing how much time is passing while you’re merely listening to the other’s breathing and enjoying each other’s warmth. At that moment, you wish you could stay like this forever, but as you close your eyes and begin to relax, all your thoughts from the past weeks about your situation with him catch up to you one by one. Deep inside you know it can’t stay like this. And the longer you’re dragging this out, the more clearly you can see just how unfair this is on him. And so eventually, you don’t see any other plausible course of action to take next than to start talking.

“Thank you… for being by my side,” you mutter. Your hand having found its way into his, you’re playing with his fingers, eyes focused on that. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you lately… really.”

“Of course!” he responds, moving back a bit to get a proper look at your face. “You know I’d do anything for you.” You chuckle at his exaggerated words, letting go of his hand and ruffling his hair instead.

“I’m glad to have met you again,” you continue. “But… I’ve been thinking, you know? And I don’t think we can go on like this.”

“What…?”

“Just… I’m only gonna get busier, you know…?” The exact moment that he sits up, his comforting touch being torn away from you as he stares at you with disbelief on his face, you inevitably begin to feel like you fucked up. But you started this now, and there’s no way you could dig yourself back out of this mess, so you decide it’d be for the best to just see it through and be honest with him. “You know that I could never pay you back all that you’ve done for me… Hyuck.” You call out his name, but he barely even reacts with nothing but a blank expression in his eyes. You could’ve sworn you’ve never seen him this pale. “I’m gonna graduate, Hyuck. You’ll still be a student when I start working. Hell, I might have to move somewhere completely different if I don’t find a job in this city soon. And once I do find employment, I’m gonna have to work my ass off to prove my worth. I won’t have time to fool around like this anymore…”

“Fool… around…?” he repeats, speaking slowly, as his expression suddenly reflects a hundred complicated feelings. “Fool around… was all this is to you?”

“I mean… we’re friends too, obviously-”

“Y/N,” he cuts you off, and the way he says your name stabs you like a knife. “I have feelings too, you know. You can’t just…” A bitter laugh escapes him. “You’re going to tell me that it’s better if we didn’t see each other anymore, aren’t you?”

“No!” you immediately refute. “I mean-... look, we can stay friends, but I don’t know how much we’ll actually be able to see each other-”

“Friends?” he repeats in utter disbelief. “You don’t realize it, do you?”

“Realize what-”

“I’m in love with you, Y/N. I love you.”

“What…?” That is all you manage to reply to his confession. You really did never notice it, and so this comes as a shock to you. You realize that maybe him saying he’d do anything for you wasn’t an exaggeration at all, but you didn’t think he’d keep this fuckbuddy thing up if he had feelings for you all along. As if he had read your mind, he says,

“I’m sorry… I-... I didn’t want to tell you like this…” he speaks, his head hanging low now. “Not when I know you have a thousand other things to worry about, but… I just couldn’t… you said all these hurtful things. I don’t think you know how much hearing all that just now hurts.”

“I-,” you begin, but you don’t know what to say. You stare at him in utter disbelief for a moment, and then all of a sudden, from one second to the other, you feel like you’re going to suffocate if you don’t get out of here as fast as possible. “I… I can’t do this right now.” You get up off the bed and zip up your jeans. Your head is in chaos and your emotions are all jumbled up, but the one thing you can clearly feel is the anger burning in your veins. You truly are upset that he dropped such a bomb on you just before exams start and you need a clear head more than anything. “I’m going home… sorry,” you mutter under your breath, and without another look back at the guy who can’t do anything but watch as you’re slipping out of his grasp once again, you walk out of the door.

“Good luck for your exams” You let out a sigh as you finally delete the notification of the message Donghyuck sent you four days ago as you’re on your way to uni for your last exam. It’s Friday noon and you can’t wait for all of this to be over, the beginning of winter break feeling like you’re finally about to reach the safe shore after you’ve been almost drowning for weeks.

You didn’t talk to Donghyuck for the entirety of the week - of course, or you would’ve long answered his message that he sent you on Monday. But you couldn’t bring yourself to, you didn’t even dare open the chatroom. Instead, you had focused on the necessities to get you through this week: sleep, eat, revise everything you studied, be on time for your exams, rinse and repeat. And now that it’s already the last day of this nightmare, you can’t wait to simply crash into bed once you arrive home tonight.

It’s true that you’ve been feeling the relief after every single exam you finished, like some of the weight was taken off your shoulder with each time you walk out of a lecture hall. And yet you still feel the tiredness in your bones, but there’s something else tugging at your limbs and trying to make you stop running from one task to the other. However, you don’t let it. Too big is the fear of what you might find if you do stop and have a look, so you force all thoughts out of your mind that have nothing to do with your exams. And today as well your mind is empty when you take your seat and you’re handed the paper you’re supposed to fill out during the next one and a half hours, trusting your memory and your ability to recall the correct answers you have studied to each question.

As you’re leaving the lecture hall, finally done with the last one of your exams, somebody calls out to you. You turn your head to find one of your friends catching up with you, greeting you with a lively expression on her face.

“We’re finally done,” she says. “Now we only need to wait for our final paper to be graded and then we’re free!”

“Yeah,” you respond, trying to sound cheerful but inevitably failing. You’re just tired at this point, and no matter how relieved you are that exams are over, you can’t bring yourself to be happy.

“What’s with you?” your friend asks, concern in her voice. “Do you have to redo one of your exams?”

“No, no, it’s nothing,” you assure her, but she doesn’t buy it.

“There’s something up with you. Did studying take that much out of you?”

“I guess,” you reply as you walk down the hallway with her, but then you hesitate. “Actually… nevermind.”

“Hm? Y/N, what is it? You’re being really weird.” She steps in front of you, making you halt on the spot, but eventually she keeps walking. “It’s okay, I shouldn’t pressure you to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“...it’s about a friend,” you admit finally.

“A friend?” she repeats. “Did something happen to them?”

“No, just… we just haven’t seen each other much lately, and… yeah.” You lower your head and she steps closer.

“That must be a very good friend if you miss them so much,” she states, matter of factly, and that’s when you feel a stab right to your heart, putting you in physical pain.

“Right…” you mutter. Without you realizing, Donghyuck’s presence has painted your ordinary days in a color of hope, wrapping you in a feeling of safety whenever you’re with him and making you become way too comfortable around him. And now that it’s come this far, you don’t know how you’re supposed to scratch off all that paint anymore. The thought alone makes you feel sick to the stomach - you shouldn’t have been such an idiot. You knew where this would lead, and that you wouldn’t have the time to fool around with him anymore once you’ve graduated. A feeling of deep regret overcomes you.

You shouldn’t have said yes when he suggested leaving your class reunion together.

When you get home that day, you finally let yourself feel the full consequences of the past weeks filled with stress and you crash into your bed immediately. You haven’t planned to go to sleep this early, but at some point you simply find yourself drifting off, and the next time you open your eyes it’s Saturday morning.

Your body aches as you force yourself to get out of bed, and when you open the curtains and the sunlight blinds your eyes, you curse existence itself. You trod over to the bathroom, wash your face, and after finding yourself unable to look at your reflection in the mirror, you return to your little kitchen to get yourself a simple breakfast. Finishing it while scrolling through social media on your phone, you then get yourself back to your bed, plummeting down on it and grabbing one of the books stacked atop your bedside table that you never found the time to finish while uni has kept you occupied. You open it on the page you had left off weeks ago, and after fighting your way through roughly two and a half paragraphs, you give up and you put the book back to where it’s been resting untouched until now. Your mind just won’t let you focus on this now, so you pick your heavy body up off the comfortable sheets and decide to take a shower first of all.

Things continue like this for the next few days. Even though exams are finally over, you just can’t find it in you to rest properly. Neither going out to have fun nor staying at home and having some quality alone time sound appealing to you, and soon enough you figure out why. No matter what you do or where you are, there’s this constant pain in your chest dragging you down, because time and time again you find yourself impulsively wanting to tell Donghyuck about your day, or even just sending him a funny meme you found on instagram. But you can’t. In a way this reminds you of five years ago, when you started spending less and less time together in high school and then eventually broke up with each other. You recall finding yourself in situations like this back when you started college as well, wanting to tell him about something fun or exciting that happened but feeling unable to, because it’s already been months since you had last talked. However, there’s one significant difference between then and now.

Then, you merely found it a shame that you couldn’t freely text him or talk to him anymore. But you had moved on, finding new friends to talk to about those same things. Now, it’s like someone had torn a chunk of yourself out of your chest, and you’re slowly bleeding out as your nervous system prevents you from doing anything at all, signaling you that there must be a more urgent matter to take care of first. And only once you come to understand that this matter has to do with nothing other than Donghyuck himself, that’s when something finally connects in your mind. Your days have been painted with his colors, but maybe you’re not supposed to get rid of all that paint. Maybe you’re simply supposed to embrace it, because after all those years he’s become someone who’s just right for you. And maybe he’s become someone you can even come to love.

No, he’s already someone you love, you just never realized it.

Without thinking, you open your chatroom with Donghyuck, his last message still unanswered, and you start typing.

“I need to see you.”

“Now.”

You stand on his doorstep, taking a deep breath. Donghyuck had texted you back eventually, offering to meet at his place, so that’s where you are now, nervous to ring the doorbell. It was you who suddenly decided to come see him, so why are you so hesitant?

Another deep breath, exhaled shakily, and you reach out to press the bell button. Maybe 10 seconds later, the door opens, and when Donghyuck mutters a greeting with a distant expression in his eyes, it’s like a slap to your face.

“Come in, I guess,” he says as he’s already turning around, and you do as told. Taking your shoes off, you follow him a few steps inside, and shooting you a cold look, he asks, “What do you need to talk about?”

You’ve never seen him like this. Even when you broke up at the end of high school there wasn’t such a dark expression on his face. At that moment you have no idea how to shake off the guilt anymore, and so all you can do is let the words burst out of you.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry for doing this to you.” He watches you with a look over his shoulder and you let your head hang, hoping he isn’t aware of the way tears are welling up in your eyes. “I can’t imagine how much I must’ve hurt you.” You add those words through gritted teeth, afraid of a sob suddenly making its way past your lips if you’re not careful.

“Then why are you the one crying?” he asks, staying surprisingly calm.

“B-because…” You gulp, and figuring that it’s too late anyway, you lift your chin to look at him and you use the sleeves of your shirt to wipe the tears from your eyes. “Because I’m an idiot. And I don’t want to see the person I love suffer.”

“Y/N…” he breathes your name before turning around fully to face you. He steps closer, but still keeps a good distance between you two. “You rejected me only a few days ago…”

“I know.” Your words are merely a whisper now. “Because I was scared… the future seems so overwhelming that I kept thinking I don’t have space for something like this. But… that doesn’t mean… that I didn’t still fall in love with you.” Silence follows, the only sound disrupting it being the soft sigh Donghyuck lets out before he finally closes the distance between you.

“Can I… hold you?” You nod at his question and you let him come closer, until you find yourself safely wrapped into his embrace, his warm breath tickling your neck as he buries his face there.

“I’m so sorry for how I acted… you must really hate me now…” you mutter, and you’re almost startled when your friend lets out a laugh as he’s holding you.

“Yes, because I always go around hugging my enemies like this,” he says with a tired yet cheeky grin on his lips, and seeing that expression on his face suddenly washes all your worries away.

“Right…”

“It’s okay, Y/N… I know you had a rough time. I shouldn’t have confessed to you so suddenly either,” he apologizes, but you immediately shake your head, vigorously.

“No, don’t say sorry! I… I kind of get it… that it had to get out,” you say. “Especially after I said all those hurtful things to you.” He brings one hand up to your cheek, brushing his knuckles against the skin there and as his eyes scan your facial features you can unmistakably see how much he adores you. It makes your heart soar, and you part your lips as your gaze falls to his mouth.

“Y/N,” he calls out to you. “Does that mean… I can ask you to be my girlfriend now?”

“Sure…” you mumble, the urge to feel his lips on yours clouding your mind. “And when I’m your girlfriend… can you kiss me then?”

“Of course,” he chuckles, and he takes a tiny step away from you so he could take your hands into his, intertwining your fingers. “Y/N, would you be my girlfriend?” You can’t suppress the smile that creeps onto your face as you listen to his question, and you nod.

“Yes, please,” you answer. “Let me be your girlfriend.” And then he kisses you, slowly and carefully, and this time you aren’t confused on what those feelings he’s pouring into this kiss are. This time you know that it’s all the love he has for you, and you let it wrap you into a veil of warmth and comfort, feeling safe with him.

“I love you,” you mutter in between kisses, and eventually your hands find their way up into his hair. You kiss him back as you comb through it, and when you hear him whisper those same words back at you in between kisses, you once again can’t control the smile on your lips. You part to look at each other, finding an unmistakable desire for more behind his gaze, and so you begin moving as you connect your lips to his again.

"I'm sorry..." you mutter in between kisses, as you're steering him towards the bedroom, and he lets out a sigh against your lips in response. "I want to make it up to you."

"You don't have to," Donghyuck mutters with his hands on your waist, and you reach the bed, positioning yourselves so you could have him sit with one swift push against his chest. Crawling on top of him as he merely looks up at you, eyes half-lidded and lips slightly parted while he awaits your next kiss, he's already completely drunk on you.

"Then see it as me taking care of you?" you whisper, reconnecting your lips to his. Your arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders and him having his hands securely placed on your sides for stability, you merely keep kissing like that. Unhurriedly, because now you both know there's nothing rushing you anymore, nothing that would tear you apart.

"I love you." He mutters those words as you part, and when you open your eyes you can see him already nervously peeking up at you. You can't help but smile endearingly, cupping his cheek with one hand before you lean in for another sweet kiss to his reddened lips.

"I love you too, Hyuck," you say just when you pull back, and you let your fingertips wander down his upper body. Watching his face closely for his reactions, you pull his shirt off him, tossing it to the floor, and then you add, "Lie down for me, baby. I'll make you feel good." It comes as a surprise even to you to see him obey so quickly, and you let your palm glide down the bare skin on his chest and abdomen as he lies back. And then, when you reach for his wrists to pin them against the bed right next to his head, you can see a slight but still apparent blush creeping onto his cheeks, and he lets out a sound that's somewhere between a groan and a quiet whine.

"Fuck, you make me go crazy," you mutter as you press another kiss to his puffy lips, and when you sink your teeth into his bottom lip he moans into your mouth, the act alone sending heatwaves through your body. You instinctively roll your hips on top of his, earning yourself another small mewl from him, and then you trail kisses from the corner of his mouth to his throat. He leans his head back to give you better access, brows furrowed as he sighs in contentment. Forming his hands into fists, he digs his nails into his palms and whines some more as you continue grinding down on him, and the way you feel him grow underneath you turns you on as well. And then eventually you let go of his wrists to work your way down, peppering kisses all over his chest as he immediately throws his arms around your body, holding onto you tightly.

"Hyuck..." you call out his name as you sit up briefly, and then you continue trailing nips and kisses down his body. "Let me hear you." He curses as your hand ghosts above his core, watching you with an expectant gaze in his eyes. You pull down the sweatpants he's wearing, and then his underwear, both just enough so his hard length is exposed. You wrap your fingers around him, and you kneel above him now, one of his thighs positioned between your legs, so you could get a good look at his face as you start to slowly jerk him off.

"Look at me," you demand, and he does, the blush returning to his cheeks.

"Faster..." he mutters, barely audible, and you teasingly ask him to repeat himself. "Faster, please..." he begs through gritted teeth, and when you tighten your grip on his shaft just a little bit, he responds with a moan. "Can't take it..."

"Are you gonna let me hear more of those pretty moans?" you question, lips quivering in anticipation.

"Y-yes..." You don't know if your mind is tricking you or if his blush is growing just a bit darker as he answers, but either way you begin to move your hand faster, having him whining underneath you as he throws his head back. You watch with your lips slightly parted, and it's not like you've never seen him like this before, but there's just something about the way he gives himself up to pleasure when you have him in this kind of position that always gets you going. You move your hips in tune with the speed at which you get him off, grinding your clothed core down on his thigh, and he pushes his leg up just a bit to give you more friction.

"Shit..." you hiss, pleasure clouding your mind, and Donghyuck reaches down to wrap his fingers around your hand, guiding you into a faster pace. You collect the precum leaking his tip and use it as lube to glide down his length more smoothly, and as you can see on his face that he's about to lose himself to the sensation, you mutter a warning, "Don't cum yet."

"But-" he whines, and you take your hand away just before he can reach his high. "Y/N..." he desperately whines your name and you lean in to press a soothing kiss somewhere onto his chest, and then another one against his cheek.

"I wanna have you cumming inside me," you whisper, and when you sit back up you quickly rid yourself of all your clothes, in the end helping him out of his pants as well. You crawl on top of him, your hands placed on his shoulders for support, and you let out a curse as you roll your hips against him, his tip rubbing against your folds. And once again he whines, pressing his eyes tightly shut and digging his nails into your hips.

"Just fuck me already..." he breathes, but you have other plans.

"Be good and I will, baby," you coo as you repeat your motion without letting him slip inside you. He begins to squirm underneath you, visibly fighting to suppress his orgasm, and you swear you could cum from the sight alone. "Fuck... you're so fucking hot like that, Hyuck..." you mutter through gritted teeth, his repeated whines sounding like music to your ears.

"C-can't... hold back..." And once again you stop the stimulation just as he's about to cum, and with a frustrated groan he throws his head back into the mattress, dragging his nails down your skin. You reach for his hands, and as you intertwine your fingers you pin them above his head, and you can't but coo over the desperate look he gives you, and the way his cheeks are reddening again.

"You gonna cum right when I take you in, aren't you?" you ask, smirking at him after pressing a kiss to his forehead. "So desperate for my pussy..." And he can't do anything but whine at your words, because you both know you're right, and him denying it would just make him look stupid. "Then cum for me, baby," you mutter against his lips as you seal them with yours, running your tongue along his mouth to deepen the kiss. You sink down on him, taking in his size with ease, and the second you start rolling your hips he releases inside you as he moans into your mouth. Heat rushes through your veins when you part and you sit up, letting go of his wrists and combing the fingers of one hand through his disheveled hair instead.

"Didn't think you really would cum the instant you're inside me," you mock him, earning yourself another whine from him. "And I bet you're also gonna be hard again in no time if I keep this up," you mumble, rolling your hips on top of him slowly. "Such a sucker for when I'm in control, huh?"

"Yeah..." he breathes out, and you unexpectedly feel your heart swell at his answer. Usually he'd be fighting back by now, trying to battle you for dominance or at least being bratty, but today you really just have him at your mercy unconditionally.

"Is it because I finally said that I love you?" you conclude, as if he had heard your thought process.

"Huh?" You run your fingers through his hair again, and then you lean in for another deep kiss.

"Do you like it that much when I play with you like this, or are you being good because you're scared I'll leave if you're not perfect for me?" Donghyuck stares at you for a while as you sit back up, the blush on his cheeks fading, and when he finally reaches out to you to press your body against his for a tight embrace, he answers,

"No, I trust you. And I kinda like it when you sometimes use me." A storm of emotions washing over you, you bring some distance between you and him slowly, and after mustering his genuine expression for a while, you reach for his hands once again.

"Don't touch me," you order as you put them back into their place above his head. "And don't cum until I tell you to. If you wanna be my little toy you gotta be good, alright?"

"Alright." He gulps, taking you in as you're sitting on top of him, starting to ride him with one hand sliding down your body, fingertips reaching your core to give yourself some extra stimulation. Eyes dripping with honey, he keeps his hands in place, and the more you can feel him growing inside you, the more you can also see him struggling to keep his composure.

"Fuck, you're so sexy," he mutters eventually, and you hum a praise to signal him to keep going. "Feels so good... wanna be good for you..."

"That's right..." you mutter, your eyelids fluttering shut as you bounce on top of him, rubbing circles onto your clit. You position yourself so that everytime you sink down on him his tip would graze that perfect spot inside you, and along with listening to his words and the way his voice starts shaking from the pleasure has you seeing stars soon enough.

"U-use me, please... wanna feel you cum on my cock..." he sputters, and you moan at his pleas.

"Doing so well for me, baby... shit, nobody could ever make me feel as good as you..." He whines desperately as you keep your pace slow, in hopes of bringing him as close as possible to the edge as you're racing towards your own high. "Hyuck..." you mutter his name, your voice trembling. "Cum with me." Another moan falling from his lips and you feel yourself shaken by your orgasm, clenching around him as he spills inside you a second time.

"Shit..." With a curse you collapse on top of him, finding him wrapping his arms around you in a comforting motion, and you add, "You were amazing." He nuzzles his face into the side of your head, lips brushing against your temple, and once you've caught your breath a bit you give him a proper kiss. "I'm sorry... for trying to push you away like th-" Donghyuck puts his index finger across your lips, shutting you up in the process, and with a soft smile he shakes his head.

"Stop apologizing," he says. "It's okay now. Let's focus on the future, and how we can build it together." His hand cupping your face and his thumb brushing against your cheek make your heart skip a beat, and you simply nod.

"You're right," you respond, and you lie back down on top of him, nestling into his chest. "If we just have each other, we can make it through anything."

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lixern · 6 months

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; xx. wriothesley x gn!reader , modern au

imagine being in a mall youve never gone to before with your friends, so they know the place and you dont. they give you locations but you just cant memorize them all! you tell your friends youre going to the restroom, and they tell you directions to the restaurant theyre going to so you agree to meet up with them there. well.. when you step out- wait, what was the restaurant's name again?

you ponder for awhile, what is it? but then suddenly forget the directions they gave you. god, you just have to wing it.

well, wing it you didnt! you got lost, and didnt see any of your friends in the restaurants you walked pass. you look around for reliable looking people to ask, and there you see a man with black hair with a few gray streaks, with supeeeeerrrr light blue cute eyes! a few piercings and a wolfish appearance to him. you walk up to him and..

tap tap "hey.. uhm- do you know how to get to.." you say, embarassed. you literally just forgot the name!

aha! nevermind that, you just remembered!

"*******. ya, the restaurant? thats the one i think!"

you look like a lost dog!! infront of the most sculpted man youve ever seen aswell... hes so cute, you shouldve asked someone else for directions or your nose probably wouldve bled infront of him if you didnt keep your composture. especially infront of his friends! they looked so attractive too. long, white hair with blue streaks and a dark purplish blue type of hair color? god, youre surprised how such good looking people exist.

he turns to look at you the second you tap him, and now you realize just how tall he is the way he stares down at you!

"Well sure, but the buildings preeeettty big so you want me to escort you?"

wow.. his voice was super hot too. well- wait! nows not the time to dream!!!

you look at him and nod, too stunned at his appearance to speak. you watch him talk to his friends, hearing them but not listening. he then pats your shoulder, signalling your leave. huh.. maybe youll ask his number later.

you walk with him, a bit flustered at how tall he towers over you. should you engage in conversation, should you stay quiet? how do you avoid embarassing yourself infront of a gods creation?!?!

"so, whats your name?"

the man asks in the middle of your pondering, well atleast you dont have to think about that anymore. so.. you give him your name and ask his!

"well, it's [name]. how bout you?"

you sound pretty cool, but inside you arent!! he sounds so pretty, hes indeed a pretty boy..

"wriothesley." he says with a gentle smile, looking down at you with bright eyes. he seems fond of you, but you dont know that!

"rio- rizzley? wosley??" you try to pronounce the name, failing ultimately.

"wrio, for short." he chuckles, patting you on the back. whats up with all the physical affection its driving you mad!!!!!

you laugh slightly, smiling a bit too sweetly for your first interaction and, he notices. but he doesnt wanna scare you away.. youre just so cute!

you talk and talk with him, and hes the same level of talkative as you are! finally, someone who actually responds to your yapping! you just wish he could be your boyfriend right now.. waitwait. you guys just met no way!

its been about 5 or more minutes you guess, then you see him pull out a white card on his bag and write something on it with a pen. he puts the pen back and shoves the card into his pocket. you then speak up, pointing at a restaurant and asking him if its that one. he says yes, nodding as he does so.

"i can go there by myself now, thanks for the help wrio!"

but no, he disagrees.

"nah, i think ill just bring you there. you might get lost even if its just right there."

he smirks, mischievously at that. but.. its kinda cute not gonna lie. so you just nod and walk with him. his hand slides across your side, your hand then the bag you carry, it drives you insane how close you are!

you finally get there, smiling up at him. admiring his pretty face one more time before having to let the sight go.

"thank you really, for the help- I hope it wasnt a distraction to you and your friends hangout or something..."

a light red tint dusts over his cheeks, as he says a polite "your welcome" before walking away. you first fix your composture before entering, but then suddenly.. wait! you forgot to grab his number!!!

"wrio!" you scream, but hes too far to hear you so you just weep internally in vain, before entering the restaurant.

your friends scold you, its been like 20 minutes since they were there! little do they know you got a bit lost.. you sit down beside them, before noticing the pocket in the bag you carried had a little white card peeking out of it...

on the back of the card in the clearest space there is, you read..

i know its just a business card im sorry aha, pretty shit way to tell you my number yeah? but its all i have right now.

maybe you dont have to say goodbye to his pretty face after all.

#genshin imagines #genshin impact #genshin x you #genshin fanfic #genshin fluff #genshin impact fluff #wriothesley #wriothesley x reader #wriothesley x reader fluff #wriothesley fluff #genshin impact wriothesley #genshin impact writing

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sky-casino · 5 months

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spiderman!rin: weaving through leads to you

hello~ i'm back with my third bllk x spiderman au piece!

to anon, thank you for the request and for waiting patiently! i tried a different storytelling style here, i hope that's okay with you 😊

fanart credit: @shirkori on twitter

rin who has been childhood friends with you. childhood "sweethearts", to be more precise. what's with all your friends, classmates, his teammates, and even some teachers relentlessly teasing the two of you about how good you two look together and how compatible you are with each other.

rin who finally confessed his feelings nonchalantly, and you saying nothing but simply smiling and holding his hand as your response.

rin who loves you, his brother, and soccer.

rin who got bit by a red-and-blue spider during one of his solo practice sessions on the school's soccer field.

rin who didn't mind it until he had to, given all the side effects he rapidly went through that night.

spiderman!rin who kept pacing back and forth in his mind on whether he should tell you about his newfound superpowers or not.

spiderman!rin who chose the former, texting you to meet him on the rooftop one afternoon, once class and club activities are done.

spiderman!rin who came clean to you, asking you what he should do with his new abilities because that's what he always does, seek you for advice and direction. he knew he's basically a lost puppy without you. you who were astounded and yet excited, suggesting to him to use his abilities responsibly for the greater good.

spiderman!rin who always made sure you were there whenever he practiced going up on walls, shooting webs, and using them to maneuver from one place to another.

spiderman!rin who felt warm and giddy all over his chest whenever you praised him and told him how proud you are of him.

spiderman!rin who sends you selfies and landscape views of the city while he's on his daily patrol.

spiderman!rin who taps on your window in the middle of the night so he can snuggle with you for a while as a way to rest and recharge.

spiderman!rin who sweeps you off your feet and swings with you to the building with the best view of the city and the sunset.

spiderman!rin who had to stop being spiderman and had to let go of his superhero suit after vanquishing the enemy who discovered his identity, hence discovering who you are as well, and ultimately threatened your life by abducting you.

rin who is just now simply itoshi rin.

the itoshi rin who chose to go back to his ordinary life.

the itoshi rin who chose you, your safety, and soccer.

the itoshi rin who stubbornly told you that he would always choose you over other people, vehemently stating that he'll never go back to being spiderman because it was the reason your life was put in danger at the first place.

the itoshi rin who has had his fun as your vigilante boyfriend, and just now wants to be your soccer-player boyfriend.

you, who have known rin for many years and is therefore aware of how stubborn he is. you know that once he makes up his mind, there's no changing it. and so you accepted his decision.

the transition back to his ordinary life was mostly smooth, and his alter-ego and superhero days will be the best-kept secret between the two of you.

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f1crecs · 2 months

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Fic Rec List - Fics with 500 Kudos or Less!

we wanted to post this as a thank you for 500 followers and to highlight some of the fics we think are underrated!

if your fic is on this list and you don’t want it to be, please let me know and we will remove it immediately, no questions asked. we have contacted most of the authors on this list, but sometimes people fall through the gaps - just pop us a message🤍

have a pairing you want us to do next? please read the faqs and then head to the inbox.

don’t forget to give the authors featured on this list some love in the form of kudos, bookmarks, and comments!

like we're the last people on earth by @pessimisticidealist | Lando/George | T | 17.6K

Lando joins Mercedes alongside George Russell for the 2026 season. George expects it to go poorly, incredibly so. And he's correct. The characterizations in this one are clear and feel very real, the tangled emotions and the potential catastrophes falling slowly into something terrible and wonderful and complex. Alex's involvement in the whole ordeal turns it into a wonderful exploration of the 2019 rookies.

Lewis was right, ultimately, George thinks; his only consolation is that it isn’t Alex who he’s going to destroy, who’s going to destroy him. Maybe Lando is a little more oblivious, but — no, no, he knows they will consume each other and themselves, if not this year then next, if not the next then not long after. Nico still floats around the paddock on race weekends like a lost moon, still interviews Lewis with longing heavy in his voice. Lewis speaks to him like he would any other reporter. George doesn’t want to do that to Lando, either. He doesn’t want Lando to do that to him. “Thrilled, of course, Lando’s a good mate,” he tells the press, with vacant eyes and a fixed smile. “No one deserves the Merc drive more than him.”

plant new seeds in the melody by @lellabella | Lando/Oscar | T | 20k

In this magical realism AU, Lando and Oscar are both still McLaren drivers, with one small twist: they both have powers. The worldbuilding in this fic was exceptional: vivid and so well developed, I could picture it all unfolding before my eyes. Both Lando and Oscar's powers fit them so well, and I love how the author carefully built the development of their relationship around them becoming more comfortable with each other's abilities. Despite all powers, though, they are still so very Lando and Oscar at the core of this fic, and I loved the characterisation and writing so much.

But now that Lando is the senior driver, he's supposed to be the one who handles his feelings with maturity, not hopelessly crushing on a younger rookie. This isn't ogling handsome Carlos from afar; he wants to wrap Oscar in a blanket and make him hot chocolate and know that he's okay. He wants to see Oscar smile not just because it's pretty but because he genuinely cares about his happiness. That part is new.

nsfw: live in five by @danifesting | Daniel/Max | E | 25k

Daniel discovers Max's Twitch stream and quickly becomes obsessed with them. This fic explores Max and Daniel getting to know each other and learn each other. I really liked the Max characterisation in this. Very direct but also very open to learn. One of my favourite parts is the mod group chat and how it serves as extra information for the reader, set's the tone nicely and helps you understand the overal context of Max and Daniel.

“I should probably explain my different set-up. This is not permanent. I will be back to my normal room at home in two weeks but for now, I am visiting my boyfriend.” electricsld: oh! a boyfriend! andpussycats: say more max dr3rd: yeah maxy, say more “Well, he is very sweet and he does not mind that I need to stream while I visit him. We live in different places, so we, of course, do not get to see each other very often, but it has been very nice to visit.” dr3rd: is he handsome? Max wants to roll their eyes at Daniel fishing for compliments but they contain themself. “Yes, very handsome. So handsome I cannot believe he picked me.”

I Know Your Name (But Not Who You Are) by @wanderingblindly | Charles/Max | T | 7.7k

Charles isn't in Monaco anymore, instead, now he's in Arizona. He's suffered loss at the hands of racing. Max turns up unexpectedly. Great fic if you want to cry and sob and scream into your pillow at 2 am! Amazing writing that just makes you want to lie in bed and contemplate life :) this is such an underrated fic!

There’s not another soul in the desert, just the brief rustle of an autumnal breeze ghosting along the loose earth. But behind Charles’s eyelids, in the space between him and the world above, it’s them. It hasn’t been them in a long time, he hasn’t let himself think of it. He isn’t running from anything, fluttering from city to city, crossing oceans he never touched as a boy. He’s searching, maybe, for a place where the wind can blow it all away. The sun feels warm as he raises his arm, fingers outstretched as he tries to hold that boundless blue in his palm.

nsfw: Everybody Wants to Rule the World by @kaytheologiearchive | Nico/Sebastian | E | 23k

It's 2022, Sebastian is driving for Aston Martin when their new team principal is announced – Nico Rosberg. The author said it best herself – this fic is all about "the absolute fantasy of being the villains favourite girl". And Nico makes a lovely villain, snarky and a bit pretentious but with the ability to back up his words and make his promises reality. I especially love Seb's character arc, starting with 2022!Seb, reluctantly forced to accept that his world champion days are over, to then finding his spark again under Nicos guidance and returning back to his charming, selfish, index-finger-in-the-air ways. Really they are both absolute assholes in this but thats what makes them perfect for each other.

“I’m here for the same reason you are,” he says, megawatt smile back on his face. “To win you a title.”Seb sits back in his seat, grinning bitterly. “Don’t let Stroll hear you say that. The only reason he bought this team is to try to get a title for his son. I’m just here to play mentor until they build us a car one of us can win with, and then he’ll turn me loose.” He doesn’t add, just like Ferrari did. He doesn’t have to.Nico scoffs. Seb’s met so few people who actually scoff in real life. “Lance Stroll,” he says, disdain dripping around every consonant, “is never winning a title. You still could, though, and you know it. You’d have retired if you didn’t think so.” Seb opens his mouth, prepared to contradict him, and Nico silences him with a wave of his hand. “Don’t give me your go-to line about the love of the sport. You’ve only ever been here for one reason. The media might forget, you might even want them to forget, but I know what you’re really like.”“And what’s that?” Seb asks. Against his better instincts, and even though he knows Nico can’t have a single good motive for being here, he’s intrigued by whatever Nico’s about to say. Nico’s always been an enigma to him, Nico’s opinion of him doubly so.“You’re ruthless,” Nico says, almost in a whisper. “You’re brutal, and ambitious, and you’ll do whatever you have to to take everything you want.”

Rabbit, Rabbit (it takes a village) by @481boxboxbaby | Lando/Oscar | M | 25k

Oscar wakes up to find four baby bunnies in his shower. In the world of this story, that's as good as peeing on a stick. This boy is knocked up, and there are six possible baby daddies. This is a sweet, funny and heartfelt fic that takes a cracky idea (magic bunnies means you're pregnant) and treats it seriously. Oscar is definitely a bit of a pillow princess and good time guy - that's why he has bunnies - and the fic follows his journey of self discovery, growing as a person along the way and learning that knowing himself is far more important than knowing who the daddy is. The guy who steps up, and who Oscar chooses in the end, is maybe a little unexpected but it absolutely worked for me.

“Oh,” Oscar blushes a fierce shade of red. “We’re not a throuple. They’re just friends. I mean, maybe one of them is the other father but - um - that’s sort of the thing.” The midwife raises an eyebrow and cocks her head to the side, waiting for him to go on. Oscar instead looks at Liam and Logan, desperate for one of them to bail him out. “You see, there’s a roster,” Logan says, his expression awfully serious like he’s trying to be as tactful as possible, even if he did just start off by outing Oscar as a hoe.

THREE SCENES IN A CITY by @loveisworry | Alex/Charles | T | 6.8k

Charles and Alex and a party. This is the kind of fic that you read, and then you remember for the rest of your life. This is a truly stunning urban fantasy, very immersive and atmospheric.

'Charles, the city’s chosen son, knows these streets better than the backs of his hands, which are often smeared with ink. There’s a scar where his left thumb joins the meat of his hand that he always forgets about. He’s had it since he was a child, and doesn’t remember it’s there because he doesn’t remember how he got it. Without a story to hang onto it disappears'

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1dcommunityficrecs · 3 months

Text

Girl Direction!

List number two is here! And y'all really showed up, we have 35 amazing fics ranging from barely 1,000 word quick stories to 100,000 word epics all celebrating GIRLS. We've also got a few rarepairs included, which I'm excited to check out!

Please enjoy, share, kudos, comment -- and get ready for the next theme!

Man Made Beauty by jaerie (4788, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) Warnings: M/F

Famous Louis meets non- famous tgirl Harry (again)

Reccer says:

that good girl faith (and a tight little skirt) by ariadne_odair (43734, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Harry and Louis are camp counsellors. They hate each other. The amount of sex they have in the camp showers probably contradicts that.

Reccer says: This story is everything you want from Girl Direction, including impeccable Summer vibes, hot lesbian sex and cute side Ziam.

Bluer than velvet were her eyes (softer than satin were her thighs) by thebreadvan (12333, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Tailor!Harry should probably stop obsessing over her customer’s boobs, but fate can’t keep her away from plus-size model!Louis

Reccer says: Boobs Are Awesome (TM) or, I am love with this fic and the way Harry is just so lesbian over Louis. Harry is a gay mess and Louis is irresistible. I love how the tension was written and explained, also Harry and Louis' dynamic.

You got me in the back of your car like a star (is it wrong?) by thebreadvan (2165, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Harry and Louis go on a road trip, their car breaks down and it's too hot to keep their clothes on.

Reccer says: 80s vibes

She keeps her lips red (to seem like cherries in the spring) by thebreadvan (35299, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

The Office AU, where Harry is engaged and Louis is pining.

Reccer says: Cute baby gay Harry? Love. Pining Louis? LOVE.

She spreads her lovin' all over (and when she gets home, there's none left for me) by thebreadvan (5361, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post Warnings: Watersports

For Harry and Louis, moving in together wasn't easy. (Part II of The Office series)

Reccer says: Domestic Larry getting into a fight that ultimately ends in hot (messy) sex

The Changer and the Changed by Homosociallyyours (59496, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

1970s coming out / self-discovery featuring poet Louis, new girl Harry, folksinger Zayn and her girlfriend Liam, and women’s bookstore owner Niall. Harry is a closeted lesbian who moves to New York after graduation. She meets Louis, a proud lesbian who works in a popular women’s bookstore. They click instantly.

Reccer says: I’ve never read a more beautiful girl direction story. Completely atmospheric and SUCH wonderful, layered characters - including all of OT5! The setting is so thoughtful and their relationship is so mature. This fic feels both like a historical nonfiction and something absolutely timeless. The author really digs into the queer struggle of the 1970s, and in doing so highlights how much things haven't really changed.

Pink Like the Paradise Found by Disgruntledkittenface (18477, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Midwest US girl direction coming out! Harry goes to her first gay bar and meets bartender Louis. It's the first time she really feels like she's a bonafide lesbian.

Reccer says: I love the honest communication, the awkward flirting, and excellent smut! A very relatable story for me.

Tell Me This Is Paradise by QuickedWeen (19855, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post Warnings: Exhibitionism in later chapters

Harry has never had an orgasm. Niall decides that this needs to be rectified, and her method of choice is Louis. Turns out, Louis is very very good at giving Harry orgasms.

Reccer says: Incredibly hot, incredibly honest, incredibly sweet, and HOO BOY I might be a slut for exhibitionism. I also love the way we get to follow their relationship through the chapters.

I Said It Wrong, But I Meant It Right by lululawrence (4381, Not Rated, Nick Grimshaw/Liam Payne) - fic post

From AO3/author: "Nick was a bit of a disaster, but she was used to it. Or so she thought. She had never known how much she could struggle just to function until the new fire lady goddess angel person winked at her."

Reccer says: Unique rarepair fic with a fun and interesting dynamic that adds depth to not only Girl Direction as a trope, but also to 1D fics in general!

Little pink skirt by ialwaysknewyouwerepunk (2468, Not Rated, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) Warnings: Recreational drugs

The girls are at a festival. When Louis tries to light a spliff, the wind makes it impossible to do so, for which Harry has an idea.

Reccer says: The author! Kidding (am i?) but it was so hot. I was caught in by the art and then well… it became a classic for me!

Blush by orphan_account (15128, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

"I've never wanted to kiss a girl but like, every time I look at your lips I just wanna... fucking kiss you all night long." Harry's eyes open wide as Louis' drop to Harry's mouth; her lips are swollen from biting them all night, red and wet and plump. "Then why don't you?" Harry whispers. (or, the Christmas FxF Larry fic in which Louis is 99.5% sure she's straight and Harry likes to walk around shirtless and watch lesbian films)

Reccer says: very friends to lovers Christmas pic that is as fluffy as you want a Christmas fit to be, the smut is vanilla so great if you just want to relax with some pining and confused Lesbians

thank goodness love can float by cryptidstar (orphan_account) (2486, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

prompt: au where they're both sorted in Slytherin and Louis gets tired of Harry flirting with the merpeople through the glass windows of their common room and not enough with Louis. (fem!larry)

Reccer says: very cute and pure sapphic love story, I am always up for a good Harry Potter/Hogwarts AU fit

Bleeding Love by momentofclarity (27191, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Louis is an animal rights activist who throws red paint at fur coat wearing it-girl Harry Styles. Then there's a crack in the surface and something new starts bleeding through.

Reccer says: I'm always here for enemies to lovers, especially if it's written as excellent as it is in this fic.

Bittersweet, Irrepressible by fairytalefemme (5120, General, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

“Dear Sappho,” Harry pleaded, her voice unsure and her eyes squeezed tightly shut, “or Hayley Kiyoko, or anyone really. Aphrodite? You’re the goddess of love or summat, right? Um, or God, I guess, if you’re there and you happen to be a lesbian. There must be a lesbian god somewhere, right? Or at least someone who’s sympathetic to the needs of a young lesbian. Because I need some help. I need Louis Tomlinson to like me back." In which Harry's been in love with Louis all semester but can't tell the difference between platonic and romantic interactions, leading to pining and confusion and at least one date.

Reccer says: this fic is so lesbian I can't lesbian anymore

bambi legs by disgruntledkittenface (11552, Not Rated, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Harry works at her family’s fabric store sometimes and always sells the most interesting fabrics to Louis. Louis is the wannabe fashion designer who keeps buying fabric she doesn’t necessarily need just to find a way to talk to Harry.

Reccer says: it’s so hard to narrow it down because aghhhh i love everything about this fic!!! BEST characterization (including ace Harry) and perfect Zarry friendship. Squee-worthy crushing! Sweet open Harry and lovely lovely Louis! i adore the ace representation and how the characters handled it, the banter, the pet names!!! and the oblivious friends to lovers trope is *chef’s kiss*

If You See My Reflection in the Snow-Covered Hills by friendofhayley (16948, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post Warnings: Alcoholism

The story of One Direction if they were all queer women!

Reccer says: I like how much research was put into it and also how feminist and queer it is?

It’s Probably Because I’ve Got a Big Lesbian Crush on You by yeah_alright (6600, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post Warnings: Brief reference to past homophobia/bullying

OMG MEAN GIRLS AU

Reccer says: It's so funny and such a good twist on the movie - it's not exactly like it but the characters and the VIBES are perfect!

To Sleep, Perchance to Ream by yeah_alright (3988, Explicit, Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles) - fic post Warnings: Somnophilia (consensual)

Harry and Louis have a signal for when Harry wants Louis to fuck her after she's fallen asleep

Reccer says: Kinky and so hot so hot omg so so hot!!! It’s so hot and cute at the same time. I remember I was like ‘omg i want what these two have’

Among Lavender Fields by homosociallyyours (70000, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post Warnings: Internalized homophobia

Harry and Louis are cast in a movie by a French director and the director has them live together while they film in a beautiful, remote location

Reccer says: AN ABSOLUTE DREAM! Just beautiful, soft women falling in love! Honestly like living in a soft, soothing fantasy - absolutely flawless!

It's Been So Long by littleroverlouis (10608, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Harry and Louis are ex-wives who still have fun sexy times.

Reccer says: OLDER SUPER HOT LADIESSSSSSSS so funny and hot

Vesper by Yesisaworld/louandhazaf (2000, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Louis orders herself a vibrator but ships it to Harry's house because she doesn't want her to mom to get the delivery and ask questions. Friends to lovers. Bisexual Louis thanks to Harry LOL

Reccer says: It's so much packed in! Sweet and hot and funny - such a sucker for good friends realizing they should probably go ahead and do it!

Close Our Eyes (Pretend We're Miles Away) by haztobegood (5000, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post Warnings: Major Character Death

Harry and Louis' girls weekend away turned bad and now they're on the run from the law. Thelma and Louise AU

Reccer says: Incredible balance of soft and tense. Made me so so emotional!

Sea Asunder by cupcakentea (68000, Mature, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Harry's mom hires painter Louis to capture Harry well enough that she can find a husband. Portrait of a Lady on Fire AU.

Reccer says: Absolutely gorgeous writing! It somehow captures the quietness of the movie but allows the characters to shine through even more.

Must be the Season of the Witch by 4ureyesonly28/evilovesyou (14500, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Harry get a new coat at a thrift store and it brings her both Louis and magic.

Reccer says: witchy goodness! found family! Really beautiful and moving

Harriet and Louise by Blaaake (29000, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Lesbian Jane Austen novel, basically

Reccer says: Lesbian. Jane Austen. Novel.

tempted by the fruit of another by disgruntledkittenface (3000, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson/Zayn Malik) - fic post

Zayn walks in on Harry and Louis hooking up and can't look away.

Reccer says: Zourry my beloved!!! So tender and hot - like SO HOT! Such perfect using of switching POV

in my head we can love forever by beardyboyzx (1272, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post Warnings: Pain kink

Harry's got to stop touching herself while thinking about her roommate. Except that she can't. Or: Harry might be a bit in love with her roommate.

Reccer says: The author does an amazing job at fitting so much emotion into so few words

I know I've got this (because I've had it all along) by we_are_the_same (16351, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post Warnings: Body image, self-esteem issues

Louis struggles with her body image, and she's initially hesitant when her friend Liam books her a boudoir shoot. Despite her nerves, the photographer Harry teaches her to see herself in a whole new way.

Reccer says: I love the way the author describes Louis' emotion: you can feel all her insecurities as if they were your own

That Smile and That Midnight Laugh by yeah_alright/uhoh-but-yeah-alright (50000, Teen, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

80s AU - Harry and her high school boyfriend's sister become friends…and then eventually more. Popular, sweet Harry and seemingly tough/loner Louis.

Reccer says: I'm such a sucker for girls slowly realizing they're into girls specifically by realizing they *like* like each other. Sweet and funny and soft with just a tiny bit of angst. It's four parts - one for each season - it's just so lovely!

still, somehow by disgruntledkittenface (1124, Not Rated, Liam Payne/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post Warnings: Depression

Louis trims Liam's split ends.

Reccer says: This fic has such tender and care. It holds such a special place in my heart.

You Make Lovin' Fun by homosociallyyours (109915, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Silver fox Louis and 28 year old travel writer Harry meet on a gay cruise.

Reccer says: An all time favorite with such amazing character development for Harry! And incredible side characters keeping everything fun!

tis the damn season by YesIsAWorld (17901, Explicit, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Harry returns to her small hometown over the holiday season and starts to think about the road not taken.

Reccer says: Loved the chemistry between all the characters and especially the love story between Harry and Louis

Daydream by allwaswell16 (2024, Teen, Zayn Malik/Louis Tomlinson) - fic post

Every Thursday, Louis nods hello to her fellow regulars at Horan’s Cafe, one of whom is the woman of her dreams.

Reccer says: So funny and charming!

Study Dates and Coffee Taste by AlwaysHazandLou (2000, General, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson)

Prompt: college au - Harry and Louis have the same class and they have a crush on each other but they're disaster gays and one of them is great at the class and the other one sucks so they have to tutor them.

Reccer says:

#girl direction #category 2 #rec list #one direction #louis tomlinson #harry styles #liam payne #niall horan #zayn malik #girl direction source #tracksintheam #ficsfor4am #trackinghome #allwaswell16 #alwaysxlarrie #hlcreators #hlficlibrary #1dficvillage #1dsource

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ohcorny · 2 months

Note

I don’t think this is most people but for me personally, it’s just really frustrating to see a *trend* where the vast majority of fan content is about m/m and the vast minority of content is about f/f. I especially am seeing it right now with dungeon meshi, where a new fanworks tend to pair together male characters who don’t interact, or pair them in very out of character ways, and completely ignore the women (either ones who do interact or ones who don’t!), and it’s extra noticeable because pre-anime most shipping stuff was around the main f/f duo

and because the dominance of m/m is in a *lot* of fandoms it becomes really frustrating, even for someone like me who does enjoy m/m and m/f ships

I don’t think it’s a moral issue, I don’t think it’s misogyny, but also the internet right now is a place where when you don’t like something you have to justify it by saying the thing you don’t like is evil somehow, for a lot of people

And it’s not like the thing doesn’t happen to female characters, too—I remember a few people from locket tomb fandom who I considered infamous for ignoring the actual personalities of the main female characters in order to fit them into any random au generator prompt or incorrect quote possible. It’s just less common I think because there are a lot more media that have mainly male casts and a lot of people who prefer to do that with male characters

oops sent early but anyway yeah idk I don’t think anyone should feel obligated to write ships they don’t want to, certainly there’s no moral problem with only doing m/m and m/f stuff, and I can understand WHY being frustrated with general trends gets directed towards individual creators (of fanwork AND of original work), even as I think it really sucks that it DOES get directed at them Also, super love your work!! Glad you’re making what you want to make, and I’ll keep enjoying it

you said a lot of other things but yes, dungeon meshi is the cause of every fandom discourse du jour lately and this one in particular is nuts to me. nobody is going to be shipping senshi/chilchuck in five months. marcille/falin is so completely not threatened by the trans masc kabru/laios shippers. dungeon meshi is just a wild example for this issue because out of ANY fandom, it is absolutely the one where the f/f shippers won. marcille/falin is ubiquitous, it is a given, everybody knows it. sure the anime will have brought in the people who'll bang any two dolls together to see what sticks but that's just because it's popular. they are not going to last. they are fandom mayflies. they'll move on to the next popular thing and the marcille/falin fans will ultimately win.

anything getting popular is going to get popular with the wider demographics and that's going to have effects on the representation of fandom interest. it's the same as i said in the initial post. it's numbers.

#i am being so reductive and facetious here please do not take anything i'm saying seriously

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gimmethatagustd · 2 years

Note

If you are still taking requests I found this and I thought it was funny so I wanted to see if you could please write something with demon Hoseok and this idea thank you😊

satan: I HAVE COME TO TAKE YOU TO THE DEPTHS OF H-

me: wow you're tall

satan: thanks?

me : how tall are you?

Satan : i dunno like 6'6 6'11 with the horns?

me [ twirling hair] omg with horns! You are so funny

NOT TODAY, SATAN | JHS

If you had known the demon tasked with reaping your soul would be a total #daddy you would have gone to Hell sooner!

» pairing: demon!hoseok x reader

» genre: BTS | 18+ | supernatural | humor | a lil bit of smut

» wc/date: 3.7k | october 2022

» notes: THIS REQUEST MADE ME CACKLE. i decided to post it for spooky szn~ so i hope that's ok 🥺 (i'm also dying cuz there's like lowkey unintentional parallels to this and my hobi idol au that's really killing me)

» masterlist

» what was jai listening to? all the good girls go to hell - billie eilish

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Purgatory looked like the DMV.

You should have expected it, honestly. Wasn’t it represented as some type of waiting room in Beetlejuice? Or maybe you were misremembering. Ever since you’d stepped through the front doors, your mind felt foggy. When you looked back through the windows, no parking lot met your gaze. Instead, a soft gray haze was pressed against the glass, causing a bit of condensation to gather.

How had you gotten here?

The answer to that seemed a bit foggy, too.

“Are you going to take a fucking number or just stand there like an idiot?”

The bristled voice shocked you into action. Stepping forward, you ripped a number tag from the stand directly in front of the door and moved to the side for the voice behind you. A few droplets of water splattered against your ankles when the person reached for their tag.

You suppressed a gasp.

She was completely soaked, so wet that she left a trail of water wherever she walked, like some kind of snail or slug. It was difficult to tell what her original complexion was because her skin was now a deep turquoise. Bits of twigs and what looked like seaweed twisted into her hair.

You followed the stranger’s water trail through the folding chairs lining the large waiting room. The speckled brown carpet squished beneath your sneakers. A bit of water was leaking inside to wet your socks.

“Number 746!”

A robotic voice beeped out the number over the speakers just as you sank into an empty folding chair. A man with large, dirty bandages wrapped around his head and over one eye stood from his seat beside you. He clutched a folder of papers to his chest and limped to the counter at the front of the room.

Three people in matching black professional uniforms sat behind the counter. You thought they resembled bank tellers from how they were spread out with glass barriers separating each person’s portion of the counter. The first two employees sat too far away to make out important details of their faces, but the third was only a few feet away from you.

He was easily the most beautiful person you’d ever seen in your life. The sharp cut of his jawline and the thin length of his nose slicing through high cheekbones and deep-set eyes made it difficult for you to pull your gaze away from him. Luckily, he was none the wiser of your ogling, for his attention was spent on assisting the person standing in front of the counter. You were free to marvel at his angular features, eventually shifting your eyes from the bow of his lips to examine some of his gentler features. His hair was dark like his outfit and fell soft against his forehead. Poking out of the layered waves were two thick… horns.

You pressed your thumbs into your eyes, but when you moved them away the horns remained.

They twisted at the tips, spiraling in opposite directions. A swirling pattern was etched into each of them. It reminded you of fingerprints.

“Number 749!”

You glanced down at the crumbled tag in your hand. 749.

With a sigh, you trudged up to the counter and stood in front of the beautiful man with twisted horns poking out of dark, luscious hair.

“I need an official form of identification and your death certificate.”

You stared at him blankly.

“An official form of identification and your death certificate,” he repeated with more force.

“I… don’t have a death certificate.”

Were you dead? How had you died? How could you have possibly received a death certificate if you were dead? You assumed your mother would have it; that was how things went, right?

The name badge clipped to his shirt read Hoseok, Assistant Manager. Assistant Manager of what? Purgatory?? What in the fuck was going on.

Hoseok turned to the computer sitting off to the side of his desk.

“What is your full name and date of birth?”

You gave him the information he was looking for and leaned forward to watch him tap away at the keyboard. What appeared to be a profile of you flashed across the screen. There was a photo of you, the one from your driver’s license. A few stats about you like your height and where you were born. Toward the bottom of the screen in large red block letters read TIME OF DEATH. You were pretty sure the date was recent, but you didn’t know what day it was currently. Before you could read further, Hoseok closed out the page.

“I need you to come with me,” Hoseok said abruptly. He gestured for you to step around the counter.

You took a look over your shoulder. No one else needed to go behind the counter, as far as you could tell. Although, you hadn’t paid much attention to the other people waiting for… whatever it was everyone was doing here. You still didn’t know.

With a nervous inhale that tickled your throat, you followed the… man? Whatever he was, through a door marked for employees only.

(So they were called employees. Hence the Assistant Manager badge, and all. What the fuck kind of job was this?)

Scurrying behind him to catch up with his long gait, you noticed that this person was tall. Like, impossibly tall. Come to think of it, it wasn’t just his height that was staggering. Everything about his presence seemed larger than life, like the very walls of the hallway needed to shift and expand to accommodate the power radiating off of him as he walked. You kept your eyes trained on his lean shoulders, watching the way his shoulder blades and back muscles made his shirt ripple when he breathed or turned around the corner.

“Ahem.” You cleared your throat.

Silence.

“Ahem.”

You did a little skip to speed up your walking and finally fell in line with the man. You flashed him what you’d consider an award-winning grin.

“Hoseok, right? You’re really fucking tall.”

He glanced down at you out of the corner of his eye.

So, a man of few words. Unless he was snapping at you about IDs and death certificates. Apparently.

“Where are we going?”

Hoseok immediately halted, catching you by surprise and nearly causing you to trip.

“Here.” With an outstretched arm, Hoseok opened the door to a simple office. He held it for you as you crossed the threshold.

“Please, take a seat.”

You eased into one of the chairs in front of the desk, which Hoseok sat behind once he snapped the door shut. The fabric scratched into the back of your legs.

Up close, Hoseok was even more breathtaking. You found that the horns weren’t as much of a creepy turnoff as you may have initially thought. Somehow, paired with the shimmering red tint to his eyes and the slits he had instead of proper circular pupils, you were rather turned on by this… otherworldly look he had going for him. It was spooky, in an “emo kid who works at Hot Topic and thinks Happy Tree Friends is edgy” kind of way. So… not spooky at all. Just endearing to the part of your brain where you’d locked up all your teen angst.

“Do you know why you’re here?”

You watched a transparent film slide sideways across Hoseok’s eyes and you realized he blinked with a third eyelid.

Weird, but kind of hot. Fuck conventional beauty standards! You could dig it.

“Because a handsome stranger brought me here?” You took a shot in the dark, though Hoseok didn’t appear to have followed you. He stared at you with his third eyelid and his slitted pupils and his sharpened teeth.

Wow, he had really pointy teeth.

“You’re here because…” Hoseok drummed his fingers against the surface of his desk. His nails were black and chipped. “You were never reaped.”

“Reaped? Like, the Grim Reaper?”

A low hiss came from the back of Hoseok’s throat. The sound made your skin prickle.

“The Grim Reaper is not real.” His voice slithered out of his mouth at the same time his tongue did. It was red and forked. “You were supposed to be reaped by one of us when you died,” he gestured to himself, “a demon.”

Well, obviously he was a demon. Or else he had a great sense of fashion.

You leaned forward to rest your arms on Hoseok’s desk. If he thought his freaky tongue and animalistic eyes were going to scare you, he was terribly wrong. You’d been on Vampirefreaks.com back when it was still a social media platform.

“Listen, Hoseokie. Can I call you Hoseokie?” Silence. “I don’t know why I’m here and I don’t know how I got here, but I promise you, I am not dead.”

With a sigh, Hoseok flipped open the laptop on his desk. After a few moments of typing, he slid it toward you, adjusting the screen to make it easier for you to see.

There was your profile again. Hoseok quickly scrolled down to the section you hadn’t gotten to read earlier, the part about when you’d died.

“In my records, it states you are dead. As of,” he turned the screen toward himself for a moment, “As of 7 PM yesterday. Yet there is no record of how you died, where you died, nor which demon escorted you here. And no death certificate on file.”

Clearly, the missing death certificate situation had rubbed the guy the wrong way.

Maybe you should have felt more concerned that you had a snake-eyed self-proclaimed demon trying to convince you that you were dead and chilling out in Purgatory unchaperoned. But this was all fake, obviously. A dream. There was nothing to worry about.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Hoseokie.” You gave the man - demon - a shrug.

Hoseok’s eyebrows pulled toward each other, causing the skin on his forehead to crease.

“Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter.”

“Oh really?”

Hoseok pursed his lips and gave you a curt nod.

“It already states here that you’ll be going to Hell, so I may as well just reap you myself since no one else has. I need to go downstairs anyway. We’ve been getting a high volume of damned souls recently and working overtime can be sustainable for only so long…”

Whatever else Hoseok had to say about “demon burnout” during a time when debauchery was at its highest on Earth (“Aside from the 70s, wow, the 70s was a time.”), you didn’t hear the rest of it. There were more important things to worry about.

You were going to Hell.

“Wait, wait, wait, Hoseokie, wait a minute.” You curled your fingers around the edge of his laptop screen. “I’m going to Hell? For what?! I have done nothing wrong, ever, in my life.”

This was the part where Hoseok was supposed to say, “I know this, and I love you.”

Except he didn’t! The bastard just let his gorgeous mouth hang open and flicked his freaky forked tongue over those pearly fangs.

“I beg to differ.”

“How would you know?”

A small smirk flitted across Hoseok’s face and you felt your stomach twist into knots.

“Your memories, your experiences, your life - none of that belongs to you.”

You couldn’t tell which was more unnerving, the words he said or the dark tone he said them in. With a shiver, you chose to ignore whatever riddle he was speaking to you in and tried to change your strategy.

“Hoseokie, baby.” You ran your perfectly normal tongue along your lips and leaned even further into your companion’s personal space - as much as you could with a desk in between you. “Let’s not get carried away here.”

“Proper protocol was not followed, so we must rectify that,” Hoseok huffed. His shoulders sagged slightly, causing him to lean inward. Maybe your cute nickname was finally breaking him.

“Do we really?”

“Yes.”

“But, really? Hoseokie, babe, do I look like I belong in Hell?”

The demon blinked with his third eyelid a few times. You watched the slit of his pupils flicker as he genuinely took the time to look you over. It was a hypothetical question and now you were scared of the actual answer. He was a demon, after all. He’d know what a damned soul looked like, right?

“Well.” You watched Hoseok’s throat bob as he swallowed. “You did read a lot of serial killer fanfiction on AO3.”

You scoffed, leaning back in your chair and crossing your arms against your chest.

“Are you kink-shaming me right now?”

Hoseok mirrored your scoff and busied himself with tidying up a stack of loose papers on his desk, but you saw the way his cheeks turned a healthy shade of pink.

Interesting.

“So, I’m going to Hell because I read One Direction serial killer AUs? Really? That’s why I’m going to Hell?”

“No!” Hoseok huffed again, louder this time. He ran his fingers through his hair and gave you a pleading look. “I don’t know! I don’t decide who goes to Hell, I just take them there!”

“Then don’t take me.”

It seemed like the obvious solution, but Hoseok looked at you like you’d threatened to kill him.

“I have to take you.”

“Oh yeah? Or else what?” You were back to leaning against his desk, your head in your hands and your elbows on the surface. “Satan damns you to some horrible eternal punishment?”

Hoseok turned his head and mumbled to the side, “Something like that.”

You wanted to ask him what it mattered if he was already a demon working for Satan, but you figured that would push him a bit too far. Instead, you were just going to beg. Considering the circumstances, you allowed yourself to do it without hurting your self-respect. Dire times, dire measures.

“Hoseokie, please,” you whined with your bottom lip jutted out. You reached out to hook your finger around one of his, pulling his hand away from where it rested against his chin. “Please, don’t take me to Hell. Let me stay here, with you.”

“With me?” Hoseok’s eyes widened, slitted pupils dilating into ovals.

“Mhmm, wouldn’t that be nice?” you purred, lightly tracing the lines of his palm with your index finger. “You’re so pretty and you look so stressed. What did you say earlier, about burnout? They aren’t taking care of you here, are they, Hoseokie?”

The demon bit his lip. His razor-sharp teeth pressed deep indents into what you knew were soft pink lips.

“I could help you out, Hoseokie, baby.”

Those dark eyes shimmered red and finally met your gaze, though his face was still flushed and his expression almost… timid.

“Help me out?” he murmured, almost as though he were talking himself through the conversation rather than asking you a question.

“Mhmm…”

You pressed your hands flat against the desk and hoisted yourself on top of it. The stack of papers Hoseok had just fixed went flying. He weakly reached out to stop a few of them from slipping off and floating to the carpeted floor.

“I don’t know.” Hoseok’s voice wavered, though you had to give him credit for his ability to maintain eye contact with you as you scooted across the desk.

“I think you do know, Hoseokie.”

Hoseok shook his head, third eyelids putting in work to blink away the shock when you eased yourself into his lap.

You’d been so caught up on how tall and menacing he’d looked in the hallway that you hadn’t stopped to consider the rest of his details, like how firm and comfortable his thighs were. You wiggled your ass to get settled, eliciting a low groan from the demon whose red eyes still rounded under your gaze.

“I’m going to get in trouble,” he pleaded with you when you dug your fingers into his hair and yanked his head backward. “I really don’t want to get in trouble.”

“And I really don’t want to go to Hell.” You dug your teeth into the soft skin of his throat and Hoseok let out a whimpered hiss. “Do you see our problem here?”

Of course, he could see the problem, but Hoseok was driven mute by your free hand palming his cock through his pants. His hold on your waist was bruisingly tight, but you kept a firm grip on his hair and a hot hand on his crotch. There was no way he was getting an upper hand in this, not that you expected him to. He was whimpering and pliant underneath you already.

Maybe you were absolutely insane, but if you had to suck some demon dick to get out of Hell, you were going to fucking do it. No matter how weird it probably looked.

“Y/N, wait.” Hoseok shuddered as you popped open the button of his pants and dragged down the zipper. “Listen to me, it’s not, it’s not a good idea.”

You let your fingertips dance along the waistband of his underwear. You weren’t sure why it was funny that he was wearing underwear; it just seemed like such a silly thing for a demon to need. Out here reaping souls and getting angry over death certificates, and going to the store to buy underwear after work.

It was just funny.

“Why not, Hoseokie? Don’t tell me they don’t let you have a little fun around here.” You batted your eyes at him and slide your hand beneath the fabric.

“It’s not- fuck.”

Hoseok tried to lean forward, to curl into himself, when you pressed your thumb against his leaking slit, but you kept his head pulled backward by his hair.

“Now, I’m gonna tell you what we’re gonna do, okay Hoseokie baby?”

The demon opened his mouth to speak and you shivered as his forked tongue wet his lips.

“Okay.”

“Good little demon, thank you,” you cooed praise that made his face flush an even deeper red. “I’m going to suck your dick and then you’re gonna delete whatever record you have of me and we’re going to forget I was ever even here, alright?”

When Hoseok didn’t speak, you squeezed the head of his cock.

“Fuck, yes, yes, yes, alright,” he sputtered.

“Good.”

The bright side to all of this was that his dick didn’t look any different from any other dick you’d ever seen, although it did seem a bit long. Which was fine. You had hands, didn’t you? You knew how to do a little two-hand twist when needed.

Just as you were about to slide off Hoseok’s lap and get on your knees, the door to his office flung open so hard it slammed against the wall.

“Oh fuck,” Hoseok gulped. He quickly stuffed his cock back inside his pants and zipped his pants up with trembling fingers.

“Oh fuck is right. What the fuck is going on here?”

You turned to look over your shoulder at the person who owned such a smooth, sinister voice that dripped enough malice for you to drown in it. You felt your entire body grow cold when you were met with slitted eyes that glowed even more brightly than Hoseok’s. The eyes roamed your face, your body, your position still straddling Hoseok’s lap. And you did the same, your human eyes taking in the man’s black fitted suit, the swell of his thighs beneath the fabric, the pout of his lips, the craters his dimples made in his cheeks as he sucked on his teeth in seething anger.

“I-I-I-I, Your Majesty,” Hoseok’s tongue fumbled over the words as he tried shoving you off of him.

Oh shit, was this God? He was way too hot to be God.

You stood when Hoseok did, the two of you blinking with your eyes wide and mouths hanging open like idiots in front of the sharply dressed man. Just past the doorway, you could see a few other men flanking the entrance, as though they were guarding it.

“Don’t fucking call me Your Majesty while your cock is twitching in your pants, Hoseok. Have some decency,” the dimpled man chastised with a snort.

Was God allowed to curse? You supposed he was, but multiple F-bombs and a casual “cock” thrown around seemed like a lot for a guy who was meant to be the holiest of the holy.

“And you.”

You poked your index finger against your chest when the man suddenly loomed over you.

“Me?”

“You’re supposed to be with me.”

You rose your eyebrows and shot Hoseok a look, but he had his eyes on the floor.

“Oh… you’re not God…”

You felt fire lick and burn up your chest and across your throat when the man leaned his head back to bellow a laugh so deep you swore the walls moved just as they had for Hoseok when he walked.

“Sweet of you to think so highly of the Devil, little human.”

Aw, fuck.

You were going to Hell.

“Now, listen, the One Direction serial killer AUs weren’t actually that bad. Like, if you’d just give it a chance, you’d understand,” you began.

“Reasoning with me is futile, pet.”

The sound of your teeth clamping shut echoed through the room. You probably should have been scared of how poisonous his tone sounded, but excitement thrummed in your stomach.

No one had ever called you pet before. It was kind of cute.

“Now, let’s go, shall we?”

If Satan had a problem with the way you whimpered when he wrapped a smooth, tan hand around your bicep to haul you out of the room, he didn’t make any indication. If anything, you thought he squeezed you a bit tighter.

“I didn’t think Satan would be so buff,” you murmured and you heard Hoseok choke.

You’d all but forgotten about the guy.

“Oh! Hoseokie!” You twisted your neck around to face him as Satan began leading you away. “Thanks for hanging out! I forgive you for being such a rule follower!”

You turned up to look at Satan’s face which was a bit hard to do considering he was so tall and all legs and pecs that looked better than any boobs you’d ever seen. It was very distracting.

“You’re not going to damn him to some horrible eternal punishment, are you?”

“I think working here is punishment enough, don’t you?”

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my work

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qinluofu · 1 year

Text

⊹﹒should not have ♡ with sae itoshi + younger sibling reader

♩﹒before reading : gn!reader, siblings!au, platonic / family love, toxic food enviroment implied, bad diet culture, no angst only meow meow ( wish i were a cat . ) ♩﹒summary : sae itoshi reacting to you trying out a toxic diet

SAE thinks you take him for a fool. how could he not notice the way that the food has been running out a bit too slow lately. it's been 14 days and there's still leftover meat and dairy products - not to mention the overwhelming bag of chocolates that are left filled to the brim AND the way that you haven't come out of your room that often anymore.

he has an inkling suspicion boiling in his mind, it's almost like a trend these days on social media where you basically starve yourself in an attempt to lose fat. he confirms it when one day when you left for school as he slowly goes up to your room and noticed the heavy addition of a weight scale in the corner.

then he notices the trashed sticky notes in the bin. he opens up the crumbled paper and boom . yeah ok you were definitely trying out those stupid diets, the sticky notes had some negative messages written, assuming you stuck them up the walls in the means to motivate yourself to eat less .

so then there's you who comes from school. you felt like it was odd that your brother didn't greet you or say anything but sae figured that he needed to give you time before he wanted to confront ( or in his case - tried to confront ) you about it. he waited for you to come down and get lunch, just in case he was wrong about it.

he waited and waited and waited.

oh but he wasn't wrong. it was 4pm and it was deadbeat silence, you were up there in your room doing god knows what. he sighed and got up from the couch, opened your door and as you were about to question him he just grabbed you by the arm and dragged you allll the way to his workout room.

you kept bickering with him, telling him to let you go but he wouldn't budge and was dead silent on the way too. it makes you wonder if he noticed the diet you've been trying out lately - albeit it wasn't really recommended you still wanted to try it out anyways. it was ultimately because your friends started doing it, so then you find yourself wanting to feel included .

sae grunts a bit and that snaps you to reality. he points to his exercising gears, avoids direct eye contact and just.

"if you really wanted to lose the fat, there are better ways too you know...." he stumbled a bit, he had an annoyed look but he was clearly shy - he continued to ramble on about diets, body muscles and whatnot. you weren't really listening, it was more of the deep realisation that he cares about you & wants you to be good and healthy.

you pinky promised sae to never try out a toxic diet ever again — just like when you were younger - but with a much deeper understanding this time.

a/n - i originally wanted this to be apart of the hc series w oliver & nagi but i realised i overwrote for sae and js kinda went "ok." and now we have a fic :x lmk if yu want this with another character

#sae itoshi x reader #sae itoshi x you #sae itoshi x y/n #itoshi siblings #sae itoshi #blue lock #bllk x y/n #bllk x reader #bllk fanfic #blue lock fanfiction #blue lock fluff #itoshi archive fics

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t3a-tan · 9 months

Note

In the size-shifter AU it makes you wonder how many friends James lost where his immediate first reaction to Oliver finding out is to expect to have to avoid him completely and never talk to him again.

Bro I'm so sorry I forgot to post this it's been in my drafts for a while—

---

James stared down at Oliver, frozen in shock at what he was hearing and seeing. It must be a trick. There was no way that Oliver, someone he honestly hadn't known that long in the big scheme of things, wasn't scared of him.

Even his ex-wife, the only person to accept his sizeshifting before, was scared when he first grew in front of her. As long as he stayed human-sized she came around, but things got heated again.

His size always caused problems. James tried his best to keep them under wraps and just be normal, but god did it feel tiring having to keep himself from growing all the time. Eventually it became too much for Emily to handle and they separated.

So why on Earth was this human man standing at his feet, as calm as could be?

It couldn't be real.

"Why….why aren't you running?"

The sounds of screaming shook the forest. James really hadn't meant it— he went to the woods to hide away and wait for his size to go back to normal only to stumble upon a campsite. He didn't get too close and he tried to calm down the panicking people but they simply wouldn't listen to reason.

Oliver's smile faded as his expression returned to it's usual relaxed neutral. He continued to look up at James, making eye contact that felt so…accepting. So warm.. But James knew better than that.

He probably thinks I'll hurt him if he runs or shows discomfort… I'm sorry Oliver, I shouldn't have let us become friends. This is my fault, James thought to himself.

"Why should I run from a friend?" Oliver asked— as if he was actually confused. As the man took a step towards James the sizeshifter couldn't help but move back in turn, startled by the gesture. Oliver's expression softened from its initial confusion, but as he opened his mouth to probably continue lying, James's voice boomed instead.

"Aren't you scared?" He asked, his brows furrowing as he leaned down, trying to seem intimidating. Did Oliver think he was stupid or something? No one could accept this form of his. No one.

Oliver reacted very little, not even so much as leaning back the closer James's billboard-size face crept inward.

"Am I supposed to be? You already told me not to be, and said you won't hurt me. I would've understood without directions, but then why is it so surprising that I'm directly listening to your very own words?" Oliver pointed out, humming slightly.

"M-monster..!"

"Get away!"

"You've been tricking us this whole time!!"

James flinched at the memory of all that yelling… friends from the past. He had tried to give up on it— his only companion for a while had been whiskey and rum every night… He rarely worked; his electric bill was never payed and he took cold showers with cheap soaps, trying to wash his feelings down the drain with the dirt.

Oliver had made his life better in many ways. After finding out he had no heating during the winter he paid the bill for him. He helped him get his drinking back under control. He was a genuinely nice guy and James couldn't help but trust him.

It was a mistake. He knew that. He had stopped making connections with humans for a reason…

"Maybe you should be… I could kill you right here and now if I wanted to. It wouldn't take any effort." It slipped out, but James couldn't help but try to get Oliver to leave just to avoid the pain of hoping and getting betrayed…that was what would ultimately happen after all.

Oliver stared up at him, eyebrow raised.

"I see. A defence mechanism… I suppose it makes sense given how I would presume most people tend to react to such a sudden increase in size." He sighed, shaking his head before looking up at James and seemingly contemplating something.

"I knew about you being able to switch sizes since November. You shot up a few inches. I noticed you continued to grow considering whilst you left the room you had to crouch under the door. I was going to ask, but considering you locked yourself in the bathroom I figured I should wait until you confronted me yourself." He explained.

James blinked in confusion. That long ago? That was months… he hadn't noticed a single difference in how Oliver treated him during all that time. He didn't even know Oliver knew.

The shock must've showed on his face, as Oliver smiled, reaching up and gently patting his cheek.

"You're a good man, James. I'm happy to call you my friend… giant or not, it doesn't change a thing." He spoke with a gentle and reassuring tone. James couldn't believe what he was hearing or seeing. Sure, Oliver had always come across as accepting but…

He would accept him as his friend? Even when he was a monster…?

Oliver saw the conflicted expression of James's face and he tilted his head, smile still apparent.

"Should we continue our walk then?" He offered.

Despite the fact that everything in James's mind was telling him he couldn't trust this….in his heart he understood this was real. The look in Oliver's eyes was genuine. His words were truthful. James couldn't help but smile back.

"Yeah. I'd like that…"

#g/t community #g/t #ocs #g/t artist #giant/tiny #g/t au #ask box #g/t writer #g/t writing #giant/tiny writing #size shifter #g/t angst #g/t fluff

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fanstuffrantings · 2 months

Note

I have a question about your RWBY au: how would you handle teams facing consequences when making a big decision that backfires?

My problem with RWBY is that despite making choices that should had have consequences (telling government secrets to Robyn hill, pointing a gun at Whitney, agrus incident etc) the characters instead get rewarded for their actions.

What will you do differently?

I apologize because this got long and maybe veered a bit from the original question but here we go.

For a TL;DR: we need better world building, more apparent character flaws the narrative actively calls out, and villains to be dangerous

I think the main issue with why RWBY never had proper consequences, is that it largely operated (and still somewhat does) on rule of cool. Characters are powerful when the plot demands it in ways that kind of make the stakes feel nonexistent.

To properly implement consequences for characters we need to know what their flaws are and what they could get as punishment if those flaws aren't handled.

Our characters have some referenced flaws, but often times their flaws either never get checked because the writers don't view them as flaws needing to be fixed, or they're excused in canon. Bad things don't happen to them mainly because they mess up, they happen because bad people do bad things.

While pyrrha is the character I'm most annoyed about with the lack of depth, all of them are written to be cool and kind of flawless. So first step is I'd set up clear flaws from volume 1 and have them face consequences that will carry over long term. Here are some examples.

Ruby: For Ruby I feel like she tends to focus on handling things herself. She's incredibly self reliant to the point that she makes a lot of choices to do things solo that ultimately could get her killed. But the writers never go that far. She faces off against Cinder twice and leaves unscathed, if we're going to have her track Cinder to the tower, Ruby needs to leave wounded. Allowed to live because Cinder let her. Give her a scar that remains on her for the rest of the series. Maybe it's normally covered but it's a reminder of the dangers she faces. And even then we don't have to have her learn her lesson yet.

Yang is one where her consequences will effect the Atlas arc. Because I want her semblance to make her black out when she rages. Something she never focused on fixing because normally she could direct it before she blacks out so that the only person hurt is the one who caused the rage. Her teachers keep warning her of the damage she does to the area around her and how her black outs get longer the angrier she is. But she kind of waves it off because she's had this semblance for years and she knows how to deal with it.

However during the vytal festival when there are several competitions between schools and we build up a rivalry between team villain and team rwby we see her anger boiling. She's containing it and does a good job for a while, but the Mercury fight is the last straw. When she attacks Mercury its not just that she hits him once, in fact the villains new her rage made her black out and expected her to hit once. She downs him bad. She has to be restrained and the entire of remnant bears witness to her building rage culminating in her pummeling a kid from a different school. And when she attacks Adam that's once more her lashing out before thinking leading to her arm loss. When she travels she's met with wariness and fear because people know her as the girl that destroys.

Her six month hiatus is not just full of her wallowing over her arm, but angry over everything and raging out sporadically. I'd honestly give taiyang the same semblance as her being the one to help her train to properly control it. But the shadow of her actions won't disappear and people will try to exploit that weakness if she doesn't curb it.

For Blake it would be her being a traitor and running. RWY need their trust regained by her that she'll have to actively work towards doing so but it won't just be them. In Atlas Ironwood knows her past because he would've run checks on any people if interest and found her connection to Adam who was one of the people leading the attack on Beacon and subsequently also was the leader of a group that attacked Argus. Finding out she was a loyal follower of him almost her entire life means that she isn't let into the inner circle and in fact spends most of her stay in Atlas monitored and on probation. The group vouches for her but that can only pacify someone like Ironwood slightly.

For Weiss I'd have her actually be very loyal to authority figures in a way that often causes arguments between her team and her. In Atlas it would cause a major fight because if Yang were to spill secrets to Robyn, Weiss would probably avoid speaking to her for a decent amount of time. I think by that point she'd not outright tell Ironwood herself, but she would be furious at the disrespect. It would mean that more often than not, she's causing unnecessary disagreements in the group but it would also mean that she knows best how to handle people in places like Atlas.

Largely I'd just have a big focus on how dumb choices they make effect their relationships with people outside of the core group. Revealing secret information leads to Penny becoming very disappointed in them and a slight breakdown in the friendship. Potientially if Yang did it without talking to the others it now means Yang gets into a verbal fighting match with the rest of the gang because everything starts to go wrong.

Going off to fight things alone or not properly training means you get into situations that could maim or kill you. Trusting anyone too easily can result in someone dangerous entering your group with the intent to cause harm.

In general I'd really just focus on building flaws, turning down power levels at the start, and making the world and villains more dangerous. Also I think making each kingdom distinctly different in its politics and government could've helped make it so that the group trying to approach all situations the same backfires a lot. It's something I'd have to rewatch the show for to list specific instances of things I'd make consequences for but those are my current notes.

#ask #grooveguylove #rwde #rwby critical #rwby rewrite #molten rambles

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kodaiki · 2 years

Text

the broken hearts club.

summary: who knew a mere crush on your high school best friend could be so destructive in the end?

pairing: iwaizumi hajime x fem!reader

wc: 3.6k

genre/cw: pining (seriously, severe one side pining), best friend!iwa, angst (no fluff), naive!reader, reader who doesn’t set boundaries, memory-style fic (lots of flashbacks n past tense), college!au, (mentioned)high school!au, ft. oikawa, mentions of makki & mattsun.

a/n: dedicated to bby @apricunts bc this has been in my drafts forever </3333

knock, knock, knock.

you rub at your eyes, whether it was to push the fatigue or still festering sadness, it’s not clear, as you tread from your bedroom in the direction of your apartment's front door. your feet pad quietly against the hardwood floors as your arms wrap around yourself from the chill summer night air coming in from the open window of your living room that you forgot to shut before heading to bed.

approaching the door with a perplexed expression, you raise slightly on your tiptoes to look through the peephole but it's too dark in the hall – you really need to talk to your landlord about that broken automatic light – to see who's there.

you pray it's not some sort of stalker or murderer knocking on your door, and decide to pull it open with a tired, “hello?”

it's after midnight, though, so who the hell is knocking on my door at this time?

maybe it's ms. kim from the apartment above yours who lost her cat again and she's wondering if she'd snuck into your place through the fire escape, an event that never actually happened but she claims to have.

it was an annoying instance at best, having the woman appear at the strangest hours of the day, whether it be midnight or at the crack of dawn, worrying about her cat. although, you did understand on a certain level, caring for an animal companion and being worried of their safety, ultimately you were usually bothered.

“y/n.” the deep, gravelly, familiar voice is what makes your eyes spring open and you snap your neck up to meet the eyes of the subject on the other side of the doorframe.

“what’re you doing here?” you ask coldly, demeanor immediately shifting as you bring your hand up to clasp the door and begin shutting it. “go home.”

“wait, no, y/n.” the man on the other side of the door, iwaizumi hajime, easily braces the impact of the door shutting on him by holding out his arm, one much stronger than yours, and preventing it from closing. “will you please hear me out?”

curse his strength, really, you can't help but think with an eye roll.

“what on earth makes you think i should?” your eyebrows furrow in frustration and the tiredness your mind and body feel don’t help your mood as you stare daggers at the frowning man.

you’re broken, you believe.

and you blame the man in front of you for it.

“i... i-” he’s at a loss for words, evident by his stammering. the flush of his cheeks – wait, did he run here? nevermind, that doesn’t matter– deepens as he struggles to find the words.

but you don’t let him.

“how many times are you going to put me through this, huh?” you ask, humorless chuckle bubbling in your throat. “you want me one day, the next i’m a friend and and until now, i’m a stranger you couldn’t care less about. pick a damn dynamic and stop playing with me, iwaizumi.”

you’re exhausted at this point. tired of the game iwaizumi has you playing. though, it not very fair when he’s the one playing you.

it's a cat and wand game, you think. iwaizumi’s the one holding wand, dangling the fun colored stick with feather and beads hanging off it in front of you as you try to grasp at it; but you’re never able to, since iwaizumi pulls the wand out of sight before you have the chance.

that’s how your … relationship? friendship? that’s how whatever the hell you had was.

it wasn’t a secret that you had a thing for the guy — your mutual friend, oikawa liked to call it a lot more than a thing, sometimes chanting that you were indeed in love with his best friend to which you'd quickly yelp for him to shut up in case he heard him.

but the truth is, you could never have iwaizumi.

that much he made obvious.

you started off as friends, you recall, meeting in high school and living on the same block. when your mother met his, as embarrassing as it is to say, he was coerced into walking to you home in fear for your safety when you had after school clubs that ended rather late.

and iwaizumi always obliged. because he was a good guy.

fast forward to your last year of high school, and meanwhile your friendship developed into a best friendship, you’d also developed quite the crush on the guy. and ... well, it was sorta obvious; your cheeks were always flushed around him and you smiled more than anyone ever saw at school.

he never voiced it if he noticed, though. sometimes during high school, you wondered if iwaizumi himself were so oblivious to your feelings but where you stand now, you believe he simply ignored your feelings.

that didn’t stop him from indulging it though, did it?

he bought you lunch, invited you over to his house with oikawa or his other friends from the volleyball team that were in your year. he made you part of his group; it was out of mere convenience: the formation of a friendship solely because it was so easy to.

"hey doofus," he'd greeted, approaching you at lunch, while you picked at the jello cup you'd bought from a vending machine since you inconveniently forgot your bento at home. "have some of mine."

he plops half a sandwich onto a napkin in front of you before sliding into the cafeteria seat across from yours.

"thanks," you'd murmured, hiding the flush of your cheeks as you stared down at his offering.

"do i need to start packing an extra bento for you now?" iwaizumi asked, amused tone filling his voice, and he leaned forward to ruffle the hair atop your head. "i think this is the second time this month."

"shut up!" you fired back as he laughed at your forgetfulness. still, the gesture warmed your heart, evident by the darkness of your cheeks.

it meant much more to you than it meant to him, you conclude, looking back at the smiles you shared in those hangouts with a bitter taste in your mouth.

things started to change when your friends, other girls from your class or clubs, became involved. iwaizumi – and oikawa, since he was sort of a celebrity at your school – were suddenly in your own personal friendships. you believed it was for the latter’s sake and your friends, who had an utter crush on the man as every other girl at your school did. but now thinking back at it, the former had a hand in that, too.

iwaizumi dated your closest friend at the time. funnily enough, she was the only friend you'd blatantly told about your crush on iwaizumi, something she claimed to have supported and shipped with her whole heart.

so to hear about their relationship maybe a month later? stung to say the least.

she'd said he confessed to her, something iwaizumi later confirmed, and admitted that amidst your own rambling about the spiker, she'd developed a crush as well and couldn't say no.

you think that was the first time iwaizumi unknowingly broke your heart. of course, your close friend did, too, and you chose to break off the friendship, something which she unsurprisingly didn't mind since she got what she wanted in the end. so why couldn't you let go of iwaizumi? well, it wasn't his fault he had feelings for someone else.

you blamed yourself for your own sadness, however, scolding yourself that you never came clean about your feelings for him so how was he supposed to know? additionally, you were the one who didn't want to tell him in the first place in fear of ruining your friendship if your feelings weren't reciprocated.

when they began dating, you were no longer prominent in his mind. to put it bluntly, he forgot about you. you were left at the school doors receiving texts that he’d already left to walk your friend home, apologizing with some sad emoticon as if he truly cared. no longer were you invited to hang out like you used to, maybe seeing him in passing in the hallways at school and greeting each other with distant waves.

when he did see you in school for more than a few seconds though, maybe in between classes on a break that he wasn't spending with her or when she was busy, all he could do was talk about her.

"y/n, you don't even get it, she's like, the best," he'd gushed one day as he scribbled down notes for your upcoming anatomy exam.

"yeah?" you muse rather dryly, attempting to zone out during these sorts of comments. it's not exactly easy hearing the guy you like talk about the girl he's dating, so ignoring it was the next best option.

"definitely, she made me brownies last week? i think i finished them in a day. god, she's a great baker. did i mention her parents own a bakery? we go there after school all the time and ..."

and he went on and on, unaware of the frown on your face when he's not looking, nor the forced smile when he happened to meet your gaze with his.

but they eventually broke up ... and dynamics changed again.

suddenly, iwaizumi was back in your life, sitting next to you at lunch, exchanging words as if no time had passed.

and stupidly, you forgave whatever feelings he’d caused you. because he was a good guy! he didn’t actually mean to hurt you, he probably didn’t even know!

he was more forward than ever before, even breaching the line of flirting with you. your hangouts weren’t explicitly called dates but they sure as hell felt like it: the charming smiles your way, the smooth words about how pretty you were, the brushing of hands when walking beside each other, it was too much to debate…

"your hair is up today," iwaizumi'd observed, looking over at you for more than a glance as you walked down the familiar streets leading to your neighborhood.

"yeah, the weather's too warm to keep it down."

"it's nice, i like it."

five simple words, just five words, and they made your stomach do somersaults. you started wearing your hair up more often, with the mere hope that your friend may have commented (maybe complimented) again about it.

soon enough, he was initiating the skinship with you, tucking hair behind your ear when it fell while you did homework together. he grasped your hand when you were walking too slow for him on your way to or back from school. it became so normal that before you knew it, you didn't realize it was almost couple behavior. well, not until that talk.

"you haven't kissed anyone?" iwaizumi had gaped, sitting up from his relaxed position on your bed as he scrolled on his phone.

you'd been sitting at your desk, working on a project while iwaizumi kept you company, throwing off ideas for suggestions.

"nope," you answered embarrassedly, cheeks flaring at the fact. you were in your last year of high school, surely it should've happened by now. well, it's tough when the guy you want to kiss is only your closest guy friend and you're too afraid to ruin the friendship. "you must know that, what other guys do i hang out with?"

"my teammates," he said bluntly with a shrug.

"you think i'm snogging with oikawa or something?" you couldn't help but laugh at the disgusted expression of his face.

"no! i dunno ... maybe makki or mattsun."

"no way." your laughter fell to a giggle. "it is sorta embarrassing though."

"not really."

"is, too!" you spun on your chair to face him. "imagine how embarrassing it'll be in college and someone asks me about my first kiss and i'll have to say it hasn't happened yet!"

"doesn't matter," iwaizumi shakes his head. "first kisses don't really mean much."

"really?" you murmur, frown forming on your face. "i want my first kiss to mean something."

"you're so sappy." he rolls his eyes. "but i mean nobody cares about first kisses. you can lie if anything and just say you kissed someone in high school.

"haji, you know i'm a bad liar."

"fair enough." he takes a long sigh and glances around your room. "kiss me then."

you did a double-take at that, first instinct saying you misheard him and you sputter, "w-what did you say?"

he shrugs, ignoring your horrified expression. "kiss me then, get it over with so you can tell your future boyfriend that you did have your first kiss and it won't be so embarrassing."

"that's not funny," you huff, looking away from him as a pout forms on your face.

"i'm not joking!" he laughs. "it's just an offer, you can reject it if you want."

you pause at that, peeking over at him through your periphery, and noticing his truthful, yet all the same nonchalant expression, you seriously think about it.

oh, how wrong of a choice this was.

having your first kiss be your best friend friend you have feelings for meanwhile he believes he'd just do you a favor saving you from embarrassment.

"you'd do that?"

"i'm your best friend, ain't i?"

you should've say no, you really should've.

"okay."

you remember his lips were soft, melding against yours and guiding you through most of it due to your lack of experience. and damn, was he a good kisser. you expected a mere peck, something that lasted maybe a few seconds, not the make out session it turned out to be that lasted minutes. by the time you separated, you'd both had flushed cheeks and swollen lips, laughing afterward about the bizarreness of it all.

alas, you fell harder than before. the crush grew into a deeper emotion, maybe grazing the concept of love, but you never got to explore that feeling further with him.

iwaizumi got another girlfriend.

the second heartbreak, all by the doing from the same man as the first. surely, you looked too deeply into things? you were reaching for signs that he liked you back and it was actually truly platonic everything he was doing and saying before?

you felt like an idiot.

once more, your lunch table was left with you at it, maybe some friends from your classes, but no iwaizumi. your walks were lonely again as were the shared chat messages with him, having days or weeks pass before a new text chain.

you remember calling yourself stupid while hot, angry tears rolled down your cheeks. yourself! you blamed yourself for the heartache you felt.

you barely remember their relationship, facing iwaizumi's avoidance once again, but this time ten-fold. maybe you also played a role in avoiding him, too, far too afraid to face him while he looked so lovesick; too afraid you'd simply burst into tears.

you all soon graduate. iwaizumi decided to go abroad to the united states, a decision not agreed with by his girlfriend, leading to their inevitable breakup.

a few days into the first semester of your college experiences, iwaizumi texted you.

9:12 A.M. [hajime :3] hey y/n 9:12 A.M. [you] why aren't u asleep? isn't it like 1am there? 9:14 A.M. [hajime :3] couldn't sleep 9:15 A.M. [hajime :3] i miss u :(

here we go again …

you struggle with the long distance friendship only slightly, your biggest enemy being the time difference. but voice memos and scheduled texts are a best friend in those times of need. you wake to sweet morning messages from your former friend, recalling his day and wishing you a better one.

you don’t remember how you were so willingly open to begin a friendship with iwaizumi again, let alone while he’s in another country.

maybe he’d come to his senses?

no.

iwaizumi hajime was afraid of being alone. he’d keep anyone around to just to keep that from happening. so when he went abroad to a new place with no one he knew, it’s only obvious he’d reach out to you, the girl too naive to say no to him.

in november, he ghosts you.

you receive no messages, no facetime calls, nothing. it was as if he disappeared. you were worried for him at first, unsure if he lost or broke his phone. until you see his instagram story as see he’s been hanging out with a new group of people.

oh, so once again, he found his new home of a friend group, becoming comfortable in the new country he was a adjusting to.

it was that moment when you realized you were a filler person. the buffer between his phases, his friends, his girlfriends. his team was his core, he couldn't take them for granted and return when he wanted to, he simply couldn't do that. you though, someone who looked at him like he hand placed all the stars in the galaxy, he could.

during his times of loneliness, needing any distraction, you were it. the distraction; the temporary fix while he healed or was in search for someone new.

no tears spill over your cheeks when you come to the realization. your eyes, brimmed with tears as you stare in fury at that damn group picture with him and strangers you decide you loathe for no good reason, redden as you suck it up and refuse to let them fall.

iwaizumi returns to japan for summer break, expecting to reunite with his old best friends and have the summer of his life before returning back to school for the fall semester.

just a few weeks earlier, oikawa had texted you about a group dinner they (they being him with the addition of matsukawa and hanamaki) were going to in reuniting with their old teammate and friend.

given all that’s happened, you pass on the offer.

“huh?” oikawa had sounded into the phone when he calls you in confusion at your response. if anything, he’d think you’d be the most excited for iwaizumi to come home.

“tell him welcome home from me,” you mumbled out, promptly ending the call with no explanation. no 'i'm busy,' no 'aw i'm sorry i can't make it!'

just 'no thanks.'

oikawa isn’t stupid, though. he quickly pieced your past the best he could from being a third person party looking in on you and iwaizumi's friendship, in addition to your tired tone. you’d gone through enough, so he really doesn't blame you. therefore, he doesn't beg or try to talk you into going, that'd just be unfair to you.

that dinner was tonight, the night you had no plans filling your evening, deciding to stay home at your college apartment, enjoying your own independence away from your family's home.

you saw the posts your friends, his fellow old teammates, had made, welcoming iwaizumi back home on their instagram stories, so the reminder just made you sad all over again; so sad that a man, a boy, could throw your heart for such a whirlwind, shredding your idea of love in your own mind.

iwaizumi, who's staring at his shoes quietly, finally breaks the silence with a small, "i'm sorry."

you can't help but scoff at that. "sorry? you're sorry?" you laugh again. "iwaizumi, go home." the name still feels foreign on your tongue, having been used to calling him by his first name for most of your friendship.

he looks up, panicked eyes boring into yours. "i didn't mean to hurt you! i swear, i was dumb and stupid a-and-"

"but you did," you cut him off and your tone has dropped considerably. you're exhausted. "goodbye, now. enjoy your summer."

"y/n, please!" he pleads exasperatedly, lurching forward in attempt to enter your apartment but your hand across the doorframe gives him a sign he's better off not.

you've never confronted him like this about your feelings. and maybe that was your fault for allowing yourself to be strung along this far. but at least you're holding your ground now.

"i tried going home, but god, the feeling of not seeing you at dinner. i just, i need you to-"

"to what?" your brows furrow deeper, anger seeping back into your body. "you need me to what? forgive you? call you hajime and pretend like you didn't break my heart countless times? get over it, iwaizumi. it's over. whatever this is, it's done."

"y/n," he trails off, shoulders falling into a slouch as his eyes widen in fear.

"you hurt me." your words cut through him like a knife, nothing but defensiveness and hurt lacing your tone. you ignore the wobble of your lower lip as you speak and push back the burning behind your eyes. "i loved you and you hurt me."

iwaizumi's face pales and he opened his mouth, though nothing comes out. you nod to yourself, reading his guilty expression.

"so go home and forget about me. it shouldn't be so hard since you've done it a few times already. good night." you take advantage of iwaizumi's frozen state, caught up in his own mind as he wracks his head for something to say, closing the door in front of him with a satisfying the thud. it'd be more satisfying if you were to slam it, but given you're a respectful tenant, aware of your neighbors and what time it is, a polite door shut is enough.

and as you walk back to your bedroom, shoulders shaking from the sobs you've kept in all night, all you can think is:

you wish it were ms. kim nagging about her damn cat that was at the other side of the door.

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