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krysmcscience · 9 months ago

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Don't mind me, just slacking on a big Billford comic by making other far more ridiculous Billford comics and also some AU art (please excuse my slapdash human!Bill thank you please, also before anyone asks the art style is messy and all over the place because idgaf LOL)

This started out as an excuse to design a Bill Cipher-inspired "wedding" dress, but then spiraled wildly out of control. Various rambles and a bunch more human!Bill arts under the cut, including another silly little comic at the end! (Feel free to skip the rambles, I won't be offended. I know I'm bad at shutting up. XD)

I may or may not write some comedy stuff for this AU, which I'm calling 'For Better Or Worse (But Mostly Worse)'. While Ford DOES remember getting sloshed enough for one thing to lead to making out with another after karaoke, neither he nor Bill remember this wedding, At All. The Love God did nothing to dissuade them from going hog wild on their marriage spending, either, so it got...uh. Exorbitantly Expensive. As in, the grand total could probably buy the entire fucking MOON sort of expensive. (It's fine, don't worry, Bill's good enough at crime to be able to afford it.) Also, because the logic of this AU is mostly dictated by Rule of Funny, the Love God's powers are close to unlimited when it comes to matters of romance, but ONLY when it comes to matters of romance. (Like weddings!)

Want an empty human vessel to smash the soul of a triangle into for date nights or when it's convenient, or perhaps even when it's NOT convenient? Easy peasy! Want the marriage to be recognized in every corner of the multiverse from now until the end of time, thus making any potential future divorce nigh-on impossible? Can do! Want to buy an entire beach for the ceremony and honeymoon and in general, and totally not at all because it would be Super Hilarious to prevent any specific movies from being made on that very same beach in the future? Fine, whatever, it's not his finances he's ruining!

Does the Love God also provide special rings that just so happen to turn incorporeal as long as the "happy couple" doesn't remember that they barged into his dreams to bully him into presiding over their marriage? ...No comment!

He spends the next thirty years trying and failing to get in touch with either of them for payment. This is why you should always demand half the money up front, my guy!

Also it's absolutely a traditional Jewish wedding, because I like the idea of Bill demanding all the keepsakes from the marriage that he paid for, and being completely confused when one of the things he's handed is a fancy container full of broken glass. He gets it later, but in the moment, he thinks the Love God is just fucking with him some more.

Ramble over! Here's the full dress that caused the comic to happen, along with what Ford wound up wearing at the wedding (and begrudgingly agreeing to put on again later for Reasons), aaaaand also a close-up of Bill's ring:

I may have forgotten to draw Bill's hair floofier when drawing the back of the dress, lmao

Since double ring ceremonies have been leaking over into Jewish wedding customs for a while now, Ford also has a ring, but his is the much more traditional plain gold band. There's definitely a message engraved on the inside - embarrassing, cringe, or incriminating somehow - but I haven't decided what it is yet, so use your imagination for now. XD Bill, on the other hand, saw the phrase 'traditional plain gold band' and said "No Thank You" before proceeding to embellish his ring to his liking. And because he's a secret sap who adores Ford's extra fingers, the triangle points add up to twelve, as do the engraved stars. Yes, they're stars, not dots, I just got lazy. There's also six lashes on the eye gem, and probably an eye engraving on the inside with another six lashes. (Bill's got it BAD, okay? We all know this.)

Here are the initial scribbles of Bill's custom vessel in more casual attire, please ignore the wonky anatomy and the fact that I flat out refuse to ever draw him with a proper top hat:

He does actually need a cane in this vessel; since Bill tends to possess men and especially Ford more often than not, he's used to having a higher center of gravity when in a human body, so his ability to balance is pretty garbage. (He may or may not topple over with concerning regularity.) As for his empty eye socket, his bangs don't do much to hide it since he's so high-energy (dude is constantly on the move), and he also refuses to wear a patch over it, because 1.) why bother, and 2.) it's more fun to freak people out.

To better align with Ford's attraction towards the strange, the vessel was designed with super minor shapeshifting ability - Bill can look like a perfectly normal human, but he can also make the teeth and fingers sharper whenever he likes (which is mostly just when he's angry or being more of a menace than usual), as well as slit down the pupils or outright ditch the irises altogether. He can also have whatever he wants in the downstairs department, just because I'm an indecisive bitch on that front, lmao. Maybe he can have boobs if he wants them, too, but I ain't drawin' tits on no triangle, nuh-uh, no sir. His powers are otherwise limited down to what humans can do, because for some reason, the Love God doesn't trust Bill to not snap into Immediate Apocalypse Mode if he's given a physical form that's actually all his and no one else's.

Due to the body being all his and no one else's, it's also not really a standard possession so much as it is just...Bill being temporarily human. He's a lot more aware of and in tune with his human body's senses than he ever was with his "puppets", which makes things like pain a lot more intense. (He is mostly fine with this, because he's a fukken masochist.)

A bit more fashion stuff, including beach and party attire~

The beach outfit was mostly me trying and failing to nail down his body shape, which is still not bottom-heavy enough. I then decided to slap a bikini on it, before making it supremely unsexy with a pair of fugly shorts, because Bill's fashion choices are not allowed to be conventionally attractive. Meanwhile, the party outfit was mostly me looking at the casual attire I designed, asking 'how would Bill make this Worse', and then drawing the result. The mismatched thigh-highs are killing me inside! :D

No, his vessel can't actually summon fire, I just drew it for funzies before I decided on said vessel's limitations. Yes, the gold brick tattoos are absolutely a reference to the fic 'Knowing Me, Knowing You' - I simply could not resist.

I also HAD to draw Bill in one of his canonical(?) shirts, just made tank-top'd:

He is absolutely about to over-correct and fall backwards after this. USE YOUR CANE, GOOFBALL!!! (I meant to draw Bill closer to this degree of bottom-heavy in the other images, but. Alas. I am bad at anatomy, LOL)

And, last but not least before More Comic Time, I attempted to draw him closer to Gravity Falls style:

Jury's out on whether or not I succeeded, but - hey. I tried. Now have some Handyman Bill AU, but with my goofy human design, instead:

Hey, it's a 'mystery snack', and the guy wanted A BITE to eat - the joke was right there, guys!!! (Based on this post, because it just screamed BILL CIPHER to me.)

whoops i forgor bills ring and cracks ahaha too late now

I WILL SHUT UP AND STOP RAMBLING NOW K THX BYYYYYE

#fanart #gravity falls #billford #bill cipher #stanford pines #stanley pines #the love god #human bill cipher #human bill design #fashion design #comics #poor stan gets to find out his twin boinked a triangle when the love god shows up at the mystery shack demanding payment LMAO #cue internal panic for stan as dipper and mabel lose their collective shit over the fact that they now have a surprise new grunkle bill #the love god helps himself get paid by teaching the kids how to trap bill in his human vessel for the foreseeable future #bill is bewildered and pissed but also very much 'holy shit i have a FAMILY again??? neat but terrifying??????? what the F*CK do i do now'#he then proceeds to attempt to lovebomb his new family into being okay with the impending apocalypse #all while the three of them attempt to lovebomb HIM into giving up his plans for said impending apocalypse #then two days later ford shows up and is just like. what the ACTUAL F*CK IS HAPPENING???#cue stan immediately screaming 'I HAD TO PRETEND TO BE THAT THING'S HUSBAND FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT SO F*CK YOU AND YOUR BAD TASTE FOR THAT!'#stan spends those two days straight dropping very sour hints that he's being punished for someone else's terrible mistakes #bill finds this absolutely hilarious and thus plays along - but not without dropping his own hints that ford is the FAR superior twin #dipper and mabel have ZERO idea of what is actually going on because the love god did NOTHING to clarify the situation #dipper is convinced that stan and bill are speaking in some kind of bizarre code that only adults can understand #mabel is convinced that the code is flirting - which means stan and bill are going to live happily ever after and have tons of kids + pets #NEITHER of them are prepared for ford showing up. not that they were in canon. but still. now it's even MORE crazy #'what do you mean we get TWO NEW GRUNKLES???' 'two grunkles in two days - gotta be some kinda record'#ford then has to decide if he wants to remain justifiably furious at bill or join the other pines in lovebombing him into submission #he then gets to learn that lovebombing bill works surprisingly well because that triangle is just The Biggest Attention Wh*re #the entire AU would just be ridiculous antics with a splash of billford #these tags are an abomination lmao

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doctorsiren · 9 months ago

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he’s mad she ratted him out

#doctorsiren #gravity falls #the book of bill #bill cipher #jheselbraum the unswerving #gravity falls fanart #digital art #my art #procreate #okay because 1. she used to be a henchmanic but I don’t think she was ever on his side #2. I’m pretty sure she was a spy or SOMETHING #3. when the shaman guy started rejecting Bill. written on the side of that page it says (in code):#‘which one of my henchmaniacs ratted me out’#and then the prophecy was given #and she’s The Oracle. which y’know…give prophecies #on her little scribbled out bio you can kinda make out that it says she’s the smartest one or something of that sort #but that she betrayed bill or something like that (I’m going off of memory)#and so I think she was never really on his side to begin with and was there to learn what he was trying to do #if I’m wrong *DON’T CORRECT ME* 🥺🥺🥺 please HAHA #I’m having a matpat moment 😎 I dunno I just don’t think she would have been on his side #also considering the fact that her name is ‘the Unswerving’#a term that means ‘unwavering’ or ‘steadfast’ and basically implies that she would not change her position on things #so it doesn’t make logical sense to me that she would have been on his side and then switched and then gotten that title?? idk #I just think about her a lot…I love you space fish mom…#just a goofy drawing I did during church 😁

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fellthemarvelous · 1 year ago

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Aziraphale hate makes my brain hurt.

Like let's be really fuckin' for real here.

Neurodivergent fans have repeatedly said that Aziraphale is autistic coded. I agree with them. I have never been diagnosed but I wonder about myself. If only I could get a doctor to take me seriously enough to test me for it, but alas, I'm a 43-year-old woman living in the good ole US of A.

Those with religious trauma have repeatedly said that they identify with him as well. I'm one of those people. I endured 12 years of Catholic schools and just as much time being taught a very black and white view of things that I've had to spend more than 20 goddamn fucking years working to unlearn.

I find that my views as a survivor of religious abuse are often dismissed because people keep wanting to say "Aziraphale doesn't have religious trauma." Yes, thank you, I get that, but unless you've been indoctrinated and brainwashed into a very black and white view of the world, you probably don't understand the kind of feelings Aziraphale's onscreen experiences evoke in so many of us. Heaven might not be real, but the feelings of "God is always watching" still stick with me today even though I no longer believe in God. I have entirely denounced Christianity because of my own personal experience, and I refuse to allow people to try and guilt me or shame me for trauma that I didn't ask for. I wasn't given a choice.

As a child I was told that God was real and always watching everything you do (just like Santa Claus) and can hear everything you say and knows everything you are thinking. Do you know what I learned to do in order to cope with this overwhelming and anxiety-inducing information as a small child? I learned to censor my thoughts. I never spoke up, and I have always felt like I was putting on a show for people because I had to be who I was told to be or I would get into trouble.

Aziraphale said "poverty is a virtue" during The Resurrectionists, and as someone who grew up in the Bible belt and went to private schools, I was taught this very same shit by the Catholic church. He learned in that very same episode that "poverty is a virtue" is actually a tool of oppression to keep the poor poor and the wealthy wealthy. I know we all watched the episode. He went into that episode believing what he said, but by the end of it he knew it was actually utter bullshit. Aziraphale is not ignorant. He's highly intelligent, and he has never been too proud to admit when he has been wrong. He accepts that the information he learned before is not matching up with reality.

And it's so obvious some of you have zero experience with that type of indoctrination because of how very little empathy you show Aziraphale for his "mistake" of "choosing Heaven over Crowley" and "making Crowley sad" so clearly Aziraphale must somehow be "abusive" and "manipulative" and "selfish" and "self-centered" because he didn't choose to run away with Crowley at the end of season two.

First of all.

FIRST OF ALL...

Aziraphale has a mind of his own.

Aziraphale is always going to try and do what is right.

Aziraphale is an angel. He's a being of love. And the reason he's so "bad" at being an angel is because he actually wants to protect humanity. He has always loved humanity. He repeatedly has to contend with what is "right" versus what is "good" and "wrong" versus "evil". Yeah, he has flaws. He's an angel, not a goddamn fucking saint. He has lived on Earth for more than 6,000 years. He has seen everything. He loves doing human things.

He's obsessed with magic. It makes him so happy. He's not very good at it...well not when he's trying to put on a show for Crowley.

He chose to learn French the hard way, so even though he knows every single language in the world, he chooses to be mediocre at French. Something that annoys and amuses Crowley at the same time.

He loves to dance even though angels aren't supposed to dance, and dancing with Crowley was what he wanted the most.

He owns a bookshop and refuses to sell any of his books because they are books he's had for as long as there have been books. He will chase customers away from his collection, and Crowley understands how much they mean to Aziraphale because he refuses to sell any when Aziraphale leaves him in charge.

He and Crowley have been speaking to each other in coded language for more than 6,000 years. They have to be very careful about what they say because Heaven and Hell are always watching.

Heaven has photographs of Crowley and Aziraphale sitting or standing together throughout history. Hell had one photo of Crowley and Aziraphale actually working together and it was Aziraphale's quick thinking and how good he actually is at sleight of hand tricks that managed to get that photo out of Furfur's hands so he wouldn't be able to turn Crowley over to the Dark Council.

Aziraphale saved Crowley from being taken to Hell again. He wasn't able to save Crowley from Hell in Edinburgh, but he sure as heck managed to save Crowley from Hell during WWII. He took Crowley to his bookshop and showed Crowley that he stole the picture from Furfur. He saved Crowley.

You get that, right?

Aziraphale SAVED Crowley.

People always talk about how it's "always Crowley saving Aziraphale" because apparently heroic acts are only heroic when they are grand gestures. The sleight of hand wasn't heroic at all, am I right? It wasn't sparkly and showy. It wasn't interesting enough, therefore not heroic. At least that's all I'm hearing when people start with their "blah Aziraphale deserves to suffer because I have no imagination or ability to understand the media in front of me blah", and all these reasons he deserves to suffer is because Crowley almost got hurt.

Aziraphale did that without flinching and I watch that part closely every single time. He's not scared for himself. He's scared for Crowley, and he managed to hold onto that photograph. He did not fail Crowley. He protected Crowley.

And so here's another thing that we like to point out. The way that Aziraphale, an angel who is effeminate and male presenting, an angel who is soft and full of love, an angel who is kind and forgiving because he has empathy and compassion, is somehow painted as abusive and manipulative. He's not violent, but he could easily fuck up your world. He doesn't use his powers. We have no idea how powerful he is because we only ever see him do small acts. He's used to hiding. It's the only way he has ever been able to protect Crowley.

And I'm not saying that Aziraphale has actually saved Crowley before means that Crowley hasn't also saved Aziraphale. Like, you get that those are not mutually exclusive and their relationship is not transactional, right? They have spent their entire existence protecting each other but never actually getting to be together because Heaven and Hell are always watching.

Yeah, Crowley fell. We all know this. We are aware of this. He was the serpent of Eden. He gave humanity the knowledge of free will.

But what we don't talk about is what Aziraphale gave humanity.

What did he give them?

We all know what it is!

Let's say it together!

He gave Adam and Eve his flaming sword because it was dangerous outside the garden and Eve was pregnant and she was already having a really bad day. He showed them compassion and gave them his extremely powerful angelic weapon so they would stand a chance on the outside of the garden. He gave humanity the gift of compassion. It's just unfortunate that his flaming sword became a weapon of War.

And then what did he do after that?

Ooooh, yeah, that's right.

God asked him about it and he straight up lied to her and pretended he had no idea where he'd managed to misplace it. She didn't say anything after that. He told Crowley the truth though. He told Crowley the truth even though Crowley fell.

Yeah, we know Aziraphale has done some really fucking questionable things. He and Crowley both suck at passing for human in front of observant people like Nina. They're not human. They are still learning, but they managed to experience human history together despite being on opposite sides and their experiences with humanity are what has shaped them into the compassionate and loving duo they are now. One of them is not better from the other.

This, my friends, is what we call meeting in the middle. It's why shades of gray is so important. Aziraphale constantly breaks the rules. Crowley refused to play by Heaven's rules. It's the reason he fell. He doesn't play by Hell's rules either. These two dorks figured out how to cancel each others' miracles out throughout human history in order to have more time learning about humanity and each other because working all day every day sucks when there are so many new things to learn and experience with the people you love.

We know Crowley and Aziraphale both love each other. Neither of them are good at hiding the hearts stars in their eyes.

But here's what's really fucking annoying about the Aziraphale hate.

Aziraphale was already crying when Crowley grabbed him and kissed him. Aziraphale is trying so very hard to do the right thing. He loves Crowley. He does. But he also has a duty to humanity, and he has taken that job very seriously since the creation of Adam and Eve. He sent them out into the world with a flaming sword so they would have a chance at surviving beyond the walls of the garden.

And he knows that Something Terrible is going to happen and he spent all of second season trying to figure out what that Something Terrible was while trying to have some sort of more honest and open relationship with Crowley, but again, they aren't human, they are a demon and an angel approaching life from opposite sides who met in the middle and fell in love with humanity together.

He wants more than anything to tell Crowley how he feels about him, but he wants to do something grand for Crowley because Crowley has always been grand and dramatic and sexy and a little bit scary.

Crowley is impulsive and has a temper and sometimes says the wrong thing but he has always trusted Aziraphale because Aziraphale gave him a chance even after he fell. Aziraphale chose to shelter him instead of smiting him while they stood on top of that wall. He knew he was supposed to kill Crowley, but oops, he gave his sword away to the humans so he didn't really have anything to kill him with and Crowley is the one who created nebulas. The Pillars of Creation is Crowley's work and Aziraphale was there to witness that, but he watched Crowley more than he watched the nebula. He witnessed the pure joy on Crowley's face when he said "let there be light" as a nebula full of colors exploded before their eyes. He was fascinated by Crowley.

But Aziraphale is going back to Heaven even though he has made it perfectly clear he absolutely has no desire to go back to Heaven. He told the Metatron this during their conversation. He spoke these words out loud. They exist.

But then The Metatron said this....

The Metatron. The very same angel who told Aziraphale in season one "to speak to me is to speak to the Almighty." He's the boss. He's the big guy. He's used to existing as a giant head and he had to give himself a body so he wouldn't stand out on Earth. And he knows that Aziraphale and Crowley have been working together since the beginning. He knows they worked together to prevent Armageddon in season one, and now he's made it clear he knows they were working together long before that. And let's face it, Aziraphale really wants to know what this Something Terrible is that Gabriel is running from so he can try to prevent it from happening.

It makes sense that he would want to take Crowley to Heaven with him because he would be able to keep Hell from getting their hands on him again. Aziraphale hates it in Heaven. He doesn't want to go, but Something Terrible is happening and Metatron isn't taking no for an answer, and maybe Heaven won't be so bad if Crowley is there with him. At least they can fix Heaven together.

But Crowley can't go back. We all get that. We don't blame him for saying no. It doesn't change anything.

Something Terrible is about to happen and Aziraphale has to figure out what it is. He wants to change Heaven.

He is fully aware that Heaven sucks. He still has faith in God. His faith isn't in Heaven. He deserted his platoon in season one and threw himself back to Earth so he could figure out how to make sure the war between Heaven and Hell doesn't happen.

But see, here's the thing. Heaven is at the top. Heaven has all the resources. Heaven is responsible for the creation of Hell. Heaven is empty and Hell is overpopulated. Aziraphale knows this. Crowley knows this. It's obvious every time we see either place. Both sides are desperate to go to war and will not hesitate to destroy humanity in the process. This is the opposite of what Crowley and Aziraphale want for humanity. If anyone can change Heaven, it's Aziraphale. He's the only one up there who gives a shit about humanity as far as we know. No one else is going to speak on humanity's behalf.

Some of us are so busy getting mad at Aziraphale for going back to Heaven and giving Crowley a Big Sad. Newsflash: Crowley is not the main character of Good Omens. Aziraphale and Crowley are equals, yet we wanna hold Aziraphale to higher standards because he's an angel, and when he makes mistakes it's proof that he's the bad guy.

Holy mother of all things that trigger my religious trauma, let me tell you. I spent my entire life hating myself every time I made mistakes. I've had to teach myself that just because I mess up sometimes doesn't mean I'm bad. It means I'm human. I still struggle with it. I probably always will. So when you say that Aziraphale deserves to be punished for breaking Crowley's heart, you not only ignore that Aziraphale's heart is also broken, you're saying he deserves to be punished for doing what he thinks is right.

Wanting to change Heaven for the better is not a bad thing.

And some of y'all wanna see him suffer for going back into the lion's den that is Heaven, knowing that he is already an outcast, that they have already tried to kill him once, knowing that he is a deserter, that he has been lying to Heaven about a lot of things, and you still think he's blinded by Heaven? You think he's just so naive and that's the only reason he's going back. He doesn't show his emotions the same way Crowley does so it means he doesn't care as much. He's expected to consider Crowley's feelings over his own when making choices. Like holy shit if all of that hasn't defined my experience as a woman with religious trauma in this fucking society. He's expected to be subservient to Crowley and if he doesn't do what Crowley wants then he's being unreasonable and illogical.

What the actual fuck, y'all.

Like seriously.

I'm sick of this bullshit. I had to step away from this fandom because of how toxic some people in this fandom are. It's not chasing me away, but the fact that I chose to hang out in a a more toxic fandom that is already notorious for being really toxic over a fandom that claims to be more open-minded and welcoming should probably tell you something.

It gave me a lot of perspective, and yeah, I'm still gonna speak up against the bullshit Aziraphale hate.

People are entitled to their opinions, but the Aziraphale hate isn't an opinion. It's just ableist, misogynistic garbage. At this point we all know y'all say these extreme things about Aziraphale because y'all get more joy out of the harm and alienation it is causing others.

Keep being loudly wrong, but if you think I'm not entitled to challenge shitty-ass, harmful, hateful discourse, bite my ass.

I'm not the one who lost the plot in this fandom.

#autistic coded character #religious trauma #good omens #aziraphale #aziraphale defense squad #i'm in a mood #like i'm begging y'all to learn what empathy is #like goddamn i know i'm not perfect but at least i don't forget that the reason for everything in good omens is love #neil has said this several times #it's one thing to dislike a character #it's another to assassinate characters in ways that blatantly contradict what the narrative has told us #and try to pass it off as canon #if you wanna send me hate just hit the block button instead #i'll try to be really sad about it #and if you just have to send me hatemail at least have the courage to attach it to your name instead of hiding behind anon #i'm too old for this shit #i'm gonna go back to the star wars tag now #it's been a minute since i went off and today proved to be the perfect day for it

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deerspherestudios · 1 year ago

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Hello! Just want to say that I love Mushroom Oasis! It's the first and kind of only VN to make me cry, the endings so far are so well done!

My question is: do you have plans for another game after Mushroom Oasis? Either it's own thing or in the same universe?

Looking forward to whatever comes next!

Thank you so much!! I actually do have an idea or two for future VNs which I'm kinda excited about, but for now I'm focusing on releasing Day 3 of Mushroom Oasis before anything else.

Maybe after Day 3, I'll take a short break and work on something mini for a change, just to spice things up a little. We'll see!

#bts #cheea chatter #and this is because from what I have planned for Day 4 it's the biggest update yet #with multiple endings like Day 1 #i gotta learn some extra coding too but lets worry about that later #just as a brief mention one of the VN ideas is among us inspired and im not even joking #are u interested in dating a shapeshifting astronaut creature whos a little too into you because uhhh hey :-)

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huellitaa · 4 months ago

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learning to code so i can take over the world

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wu-wakfu-undertale · 5 months ago

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he'd have the strangest convos with the trans eliatropes guys (yes based off of that one mp100 post)

bonus of the eliatrope on the left, her name is amura! :]

#wakfu #wakfu yugo #wakfu spoilers #wakfu season 4 #wakfu oc #yugo the eliatrope #yugo casually has a horrendously trans coded experience and we should talk abt it more methinks #pinpin has the autism experience #there was a post i rb'ed abt this #but like imagine being a trans eliatrope asking shit of ur king and he describes EXACTLY what ur going thru. but then u learn hes cis???#like what do u MEAN you were stuck in a body that didn't reflect you at all on the inside and everyone could never see you properly because #of it. and despite it all you tried to move past it and stay true to who you know u are on the inside #LIKE DID U JUST GO THRU A TRANS SIMULATOR???? WHAT #on a slightly related note i think yugo is demi!!! he might be straight he might be bi idfk- but that man is not alloromantic/sexual #yk the only times yugo has expressed interest in romance was with amalia in the ovas and in the bellaphone island ep. idk if that counts #cause yk sirens. they mess with u or smth #like hes shown no interest in romance as a whole. sure he gets embarrassed when that girl hit on him (hilarious)#but like no interest. hes developed a close relationship with amalia and only shows interest to her later #very hilarious because pinpin spends all of s1 going after women. ruel also hits on people. yugos just vibing. tho. tot. doesnt know how #to write women so. yeahhhh #ANYWAYS YUGO DEMI <3333 #amaura is there too idk anything abt her shes inspired by a hat i have

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icantalk710 · 5 months ago

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Two weeks later and it somehow did not occur to me to post the new haircut--i still get my powers restored right 🥺

#ore no kao #though with the week or two it's been maybe that was impacted 🤔#twas time and it also coincided with seeing current faves The Vaccines a third time (after their show with the Kooks last year) 🤩🤩🤩#my new black Pickup Full of Pink Carnations shirt (2nd pic) is nice 😌 (and hopefully wont get holes in it like the white one i got last yr)#want to post a vid or two too though i'm sure Tumblr still has a dumb one-vid-per-post limit 😒#but yeah hiiii #hope January went well lol #also hi newer people 👋🏽#lol between work and my fansubbing hobby and my work translating a game but also getting caught up in its code and learning asm even #(to mod it to enable more voices they didnt include for other non-main characters)#i've been easily distracted 😅#(also still loved the Vaccines' NYC show but i'm jelly of the Midwest shows where they played my fave SUNKISSED off the new album 😭#though the whole album is a banger and what they did play was a blast #also ran so late after stopping work around 3:30 to then finish laundry/ eat lunch/get the haircut/clean up/subway to the show #that i missed Thus Love opening and did kinda want to see them after listening to their stuff for the months since i bought my ticket 😩)#(also i have got to have a cute guy coming with me to shows with my fave bands 😩)#[also that Red Hot calendar though 😵 v good get lol]

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deadsetobsessions · 1 year ago

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Damian’s hands were once meant to create. He remembered the early days at mother’s side, impressing whirls of wild colors on quality pieces of paper and delighting in their beauty. He was just Damian, then. Sometimes, he was his mother’s beloved son and sometimes he was that and just Damian. He loved being just Damian, when the colors were bright and each spread of color brought life and love and tenderness. His mother tucked away those drawings in a secret compartment, to be enjoyed by herself in private. To love him, in private.

Then he became Damian al Ghul and colors were leeched out of his life. Not so much as leeched out. If anything, they got more intense. But where variety and brightness once claimed his attention, only red and black and gold held it now. So had his grandfather decreed, so he must obey. He unraveled skin, to get that nauseating shade of red. He was taught to be of worth, for without it, without the skills he mastered, Damian al Ghul was just Damian, and Damian was nothing. Damian al Ghul’s hands were not meant to create. They were meant for destruction. To spill only red, to wear only black intertwined with gold. To obey the greens of his grandfather’s robes. To see that green reflected in his own eyes and to know that grandfather was mad. Mad, but powerful. Insane with bloodlust and power hungry. Still, mother had gone cold. She no longer showed the easy affection with just Damian. So he obeyed, because that was all he knew how to do, how to love.

Then he became Damian al Ghul-Wayne. He spilt the blood of those who were proclaimed his brothers without a shred of proof they were his betters. Because they had to be his betters to be his brothers and he attacked them over and over and they would not put him down to prove themselves. And father perplexed him, because he asked Damian al Ghul-Wayne to hurt but not end, to partially break but not fully destroy. So he learns to gentle himself. But as time went on and his brothers refused to hurt him in any meaningful way, to assert their place in the hierarchy despite his challenges, Damian al Ghul-Wayne learns to love them. He learns to be, if not kind, then not harmful. To nurture, through his love of animals.

He apologizes to his brothers, in the only way he was taught, with sharp words and a reliable presence at their back. He gave them his back, turned and allowed them to walk behind, because that expression of trust was the only way he could tell them they’re welcome to stab him in the back for his transgressions. He thinks they get it, considering their support in bullying his father into getting his various pets. And, once he learned how to say it with words because it meant more to them, they forgave him with words. And guilt tripped him, but Damian allowed it for a period of time. A bit of guilt tripping for attempted murder is… an unfair trade for them.

And when he became Damian Wayne, it was an easel and an extensive paint set placed beside it that settled the name fully on his shoulders. A weight he willingly bears because the colors are back in his life again. Damian Wayne stalled at the door to the converted sunroom. A studio.

“It’s yours, Master Damian.” Alfred Pennyworth placed his hand on Damian Wayne’s shoulder. A welcome home. A sign of acceptance.

Numb, numb lips parted to ask, “Mine..?”

“We had thought this would be an appropriate gift for your birthday. Your siblings put quite a bit of work into remodeling it, with our help.”

Damian knew exactly where they got the idea. His gaze had lingered too long at the paintings in a gala they were forced to go to, and Timothy was by his side, eyes always sharp and knowing and kind.

He could see Richard’s influence in the awnings, high places painted with bright colors and little blobs of things. He could see father’s influence, in the way the furniture was optimally placed. Barbara’s touch in the high tech music center, and remote monitoring system. Jason’s in the hidden weapons around the room, league trained and knowing that it would help Damian feel secure in this new area of his life. Timothy’s influence that all of this happened to begin with, without Damian’s knowledge nor suspicion. Alfred’s influence in the accessible doors and food bowls and conveniently placed bed for Titus.

And later, the rest of his family will swing by and leave impressions of themselves (to Damian’s disgruntlement, literal impressions) in his room. But for now?

Right now, it feels like acceptance. It feels like love. It feels like he could be Just Damian again.

“It is acceptable.” He said, running over gentle fingers over the selection of brushes and tubes of paints. His gentleness belies the cold words, and Alfred Pennyworth knows that this is high praise coming from Damian.

“Very good, Master Damian.” Alfred Pennyworth replied.

And then Damian al Ghul-Wayne isn’t sure-

“I… am allowed?”

Alfred Pennyworth’s eyes darken with sadness, but his face remains impeccably unaffected. Damian thinks that’s why he understood Damian’s learned coldness the best.

“Yes. This is, after all, your birthday gift to be enjoyed whenever you see fit.”

Just like that, Damian knows he isn’t just Damian anymore. He’s Damian Wayne because just Damian did not have this, did not have them. Damian nodded decisively and picked up his brush. He squeezed out paint and, as Richard might say, “went to town.”

With every stroke of the brush, every color smeared onto blank canvas, a smile steadily grew in his face. Damian looses himself once more in the colors and swirls and shapes and does not see his family gathered at the door marveling at the pure unfiltered joy, the first they’ve ever truly witnessed, on his face.

He does not notice when they leave, filtering away and feeling proud at themselves, because Damian Wanyne found his colors again. His hands were no longer just meant for creating or destruction. His hands learned to do both, to express what he himself could not. His canvases were proudly displayed around his home.

Damian Wayne thinks he’s found family. He think he’s found a bit of himself.

#Damian Wayne #Robin #Batman #I have feelings about Damian’s transition from murder child to a vigilante child #Damian is a child #he’s like what 10-14??#moved half way across the world #got new siblings #and had to learn a whole new moral code #that’s stressful af

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