#this is why we can’t do prank wars in the Bar anymore

[auroramoon-draws16]

The kids did something, Idk what

And now they’re hiding behind the counter

“DESMOND CAN’T PROTECT YOU FOREVER!!”

“SCATTER!!!”

(I forgot Desmond’s tattoo, ignore that lmao)

[lifeofkaze]

An Art of Balance #1

A/N: I can’t believe I’m doing this, welcome to my fanfiction comeback after more than ten years. Jesus Christ, I’m nervous af. Feel free to comment and correct me (not my first language, sorry if sth is wrong), I’d be super happy for someone to beta me in fact! As the quidditch timelines are kind of messed up, I put Skye and MC in the same year, ignoring the fact that they are not supposed to know each other initially. Orion and McNully are one year above them. Enjoy!

 Word Count: ~ 2.800

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“What I dream of is an art of balance.”- Henri Matisse

 Chapter 1: New Beginnings

It was a hot day. It was, in fact, far too hot for this time of the year. The sun was blazing down relentlessly on Kings Cross Station, its windows shining in the glaring sunlight. It was not only hot, the air was also muggy as well. Lizzie Jameson fidgeted in her clothes as she pushed her cart through the dense mass of students and parents saying their goodbyes, looking for familiar faces to begin her ride to Hogwarts for her fifth year with.

“Do try to stay out of trouble this time, will you, dear?”

Her mother was walking closely behind her, eager to give her daughter last minute advice on how to behave properly for once. Lizzie rolled her eyes at the huge grey cat towering above her trunk in its cage, only listening half-heartedly.

“Sure, Mum, I’ll try my best… it’s not like I’m asking for trouble, you know?”

She heard the soft laugh of her mother and turned around to see her smiling fondly at her.

“I’m not so sure of that one.”

She opened her arms and Lizzie gave her a hug.

“Oi, Jameson! Over here!”

She looked up and saw a familiar head of black and blue hair waving through the crowd. Lizzie let go of her mother.

“Mum, there’s Skye over there, waiting for me.”

“It’s alright, dear. Go on ahead.”

Her mum gave her another quick hug and slightly pushed her away. “Just promise me to try. Be good, study and write sometime!”

Lizzie just laughed, barely listening anymore, waved and made her way over to Skye, who was standing beside her father in a thick mass of flustered students admiring the Quidditch star. He broke into a smile as he saw her approach.

“Well, if it isn’t Elizabeth Jameson, the second best chaser Hufflepuff has seen in a while!” Ethan Parkin, famous chaser of the Wigton Wanderers, gave her a slap on the back. “Are you ready for another shot at the Quidditch cup, Lizzie? I already gave Skye a detailed briefing on how to- “.

“It’s alright, dad,” Skye piped in, “I can recite your strategies in my sleep, we’ll be good.” She grinned at Lizzy. “Let’s go find a seat and some of the others. I can’t wait to tell you what stunts I’ve been trying out over summer break!”

The Hogwarts Express was slowly running out of Kings Cross station when Skye and Lizzie finally had a chance to look for a place to seat. Having been on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team for several years now, they had gained quite the popularity with their house mates.

Exhausted from greeting what felt like the whole of their house, they finally found the department they had been looking for. Inside sat the rest of their little Quidditch gang, their fellow chaser and team captain Orion Amari and the not-so-impartial commentator Murphy McNully. McNully was excitedly telling Orion what seemed to be the new statistics he had come up with during summer break, while Orion was sitting cross-legged on his seat with his eyes closed and a zoned-out smile on his face. When they entered, he opened his eyes and smiled warmly at the sight of them.

“Ah, there you are! I knew there was a 77% chance of you coming here to join us, we kept seats for you!” McNully shouted excitedly.

“What are the other 23%?”, Lizzie wanted to know.

“You might have run into Penny Haywood or Rowan Khanna first. I think the chances of Rowan actually enjoying our company are at about 16 %. At best. So, I figured she wouldn’t want to sit with us. Which means, if she would have met you first, she would have asked you to sit with her, which you would of course have agreed to, as she is you best friend because you met her back in Diagon Alley before your first year and- “.

“Shut up, McNully.” Skye rolled her eyes at him and looked over to Lizzie. “It’s true though, she doesn’t really seem to like us that much.”

Lizzie shrugged. “No idea really, she actually really enjoys Quidditch. I guess she is just more of the watching type. Or reading about it, for that matter. But don’t you worry about her.”

Lizzie laid back in her seat next to Murphy, enjoying the cool air that was streaming from the partially open window into the stuffed cabin. She leaned forward again, putting her feet on the seat opposite of her and looked at her friends. “So, what have you guys been up to this summer? Ready for a brand-new year, brand-new season?”

Skye’s face immediately lit up with excitement. “You bet I am! Wait ‘til you see the tricks my dad taught me! We will stomp Ravenclaw into the dust in no time, just you wait!”

McNully only shook his head next to her. “Winning against Ravenclaw only makes up 30 % of what it takes to win the Cup, Skye. There are still Gryffindor and Slytherin to beat as well.”

Skye tilted her head, looking at him questioningly. “That’d make 90 %, what’s with the missing 10 %? Luck or what?”

McNully laughed. “I don’t believe in luck. No, it’s way better than that! We’re talking team compositions, daily form, weather conditions, bludger flight path velocity…” He gazed dreamily into the distance. “I could go on forever.”

Skye shook her head. “Don’t. Besides, all that stuff doesn’t help you win a match if you can’t hold yourself on a broom when you need to.

“But it can!”, McNully retorted, “There are so many factors influencing that as well. Just think about the grip factor on the broom handle, or centrifugal powers during turns or- “

Leaving them to their discussion, Lizzie got up and sat down next to her team captain. Watching them bicker back and forth, she couldn’t help but smile fondly. “They will never find middle ground, will they?”

Orion watched them thoughtfully. “Why would they? All the different beliefs we have are but representations of the many sides of Quidditch.”

Lizzie looked at him, processing what he just had said. “I guess you’re right.” She smiled. “How has your summer been?”

He shrugged. “I’ve let myself flow wherever the universe destined me to go.”

Lizzy shook her head at his answer, nebulous as ever. “And have you flown any interesting place in particular?”

“I did spend a lot of time surrounded by nature, reconnecting with myself, finding the balance to focus on what’s to come.”

Lizzie grinned. “So, wandering about in the woods, is that it?”

Orion chuckled softly. She had a way of breaking down his words. “Yes, you could put it that way.”

They chatted on about hiking and the trails Lizzie’s parents had taken her to this summer for a while before they fell into a comfortable silence, watching the trees outside rush by and listening to Skye’s and McNully’s bickering.

*

Lizzie jerked awake when the door to their department banged open and a whirlwind of blond hair burst in. Judging by the golden light outside, she must have slept for almost the entire ride.

“Lizzie, Skye! It’s so good so to see you all, I’ve been looking for you since we left London.”

Penny Haywood smiled her radiant smile at them, letting herself fall into the seat next to Lizzie. Lizzie rubbed her eyes, brain still foggy from her nap. “The train is only so long, and we’ve almost arrived, what have you been doing for so long?”

Penny giggled. “Oh, you know, catching up here and there, saying hello to people… There is SO much stuff I have to tell you later!”

Lizzy grinned at her. “Lots of juicy gossip?”

Penny laughed out loud. “You bet!” She lowered her voice. “Did you know that Billingsley apparently blew up his pumpkin pastry earlier, right in Merula Snyde’s face? And rumour has it, Tonks and Tulip have declared a prank war for this year!”

Lizzy shot an annoyed glance at Skye, who had started talking considerably louder, waving her hands in McNully’s face when Penny had entered. “No, I didn’t know that,” she replied. “Sounds like we’re in for quite a ride.”

“As always with these two.” Penny turned towards the cage where the ears of Lizzies cat had jerked up upon her entering. “Aw, hello Mousey, my sweet darling, have you missed me?” The grey cat purred, rubbing her head against Penny’s outstretched hand through the bars of her carrier.

Skye snorted. “Are you talking to that little devil over there? I swear, if that fur ball so much as touches my quills this year, I’ll make a hat out of her!”

Ignoring her, Penny rubbed Mouse’s chin. “We have no idea who she is talking about, right, Mousey? Such a good girl you are!” She suddenly looked up, waving at someone passing by their carriage. Lizzie followed her gaze just to see whoever she had been waving at quickly picking up their pace. But not quick enough for her to not recognise the familiar face.

She got up off her seat and stepped out into the hallway. “Hey, Rowan! Hey, wait up!” Rowan Khanna, her best friend since the beginning of her Hogwarts journey together, stopped dead in her tracks and turned.

“Oh… hey, Liz… sorry, didn’t see you. How’s things going?”

Lizzie frowned. She’d imagined Rowan being excited to see her, hugging her and asking about her summer, like she always did. She opened her mouth to speak when Penny, who had followed her, spoke up.

“Hello Rowan, how are you? Congratulations again on becoming a prefect, first step to being Head Girl managed!”

Rowan said nothing, looking sheepishly at Lizzie, whose gaze had dropped to the shiny yellow and black prefect badge sitting on the chest of Rowan’s robes.

“Wow, Rowan congrats! You really deserve that,” Lizzie exclaimed. She’d had no idea her best friend had been being chosen as one of Hufflepuff’s new prefects.

Rowan’s cheek blushed a little. “Yeah, well thanks, I guess. See you guys at the station.”

She awkwardly waved goodbye and hurried off. Penny arched her eyebrows. “What was that about? She was rather weird, wasn’t she?”

Lizzie didn’t answer, still staring after her friend. She remembered what Penny had said. “You knew about her becoming prefect?” she asked.

Penny looked at her bewildered. “Of course, she wrote to me as soon as she learned. Didn’t she tell you?”

Lizzie shook her head. “No, not a word. We didn’t write a lot this summer, in fact. I thought she would have told me something that important to her.”

Penny shrugged. “Don’t worry, maybe your letters were just badly timed or something.” They stepped back into their cabin and Penny dropped into her seat. “Do you know who else was chosen?”

“I only know Charlie is a prefect now, he told me as soon as the owl arrived.”

Penny smiled a very innocent smile at her. “Charlie Weasley instantly sent you a letter when he learned he was appointed prefect?”

Lizzie shot her a glance. “Stop looking at me like that. Yes, he did, because we happen to be friends. Just friends, alright? No baseless assumptions before the new term has even started!”

Penny just grinned, prompting Lizzie to roll her eyes. “Actually, I had thought they would choose you, Penny. Top notch grades, loved by everyone, barely getting into trouble, sounds like an ideal prefect.”

“Not since she started hanging with us,” Skye chuckled. “Penny’s been to too many pre- and post-match parties for the teachers’ liking, I guess.”

A light laugh escaped Penny’s throat. “Busted! But how could I say no to celebrating victory with the Skye Parkin?”

Skye said nothing and looked out of the window for a moment. “More celebrating defeat when it comes to last year.” Her attention shifted over to Orion. “Seriously though, do you have a plan for this year? Like, we finished last year in not the best state and we need a new beater as well.”

Lizzie went pale at that. “Merlin forbid, you won’t have me play beater again, will you?”

Orion looked at her calmly. “As you know, to me all positions are equal, merging into one another to form one complete team.”

Skye grabbed hold of Lizzie’s arm possessively. “Oh no, no, no, Amari, don’t you dare taking her from me again. That season with her as beater was mediocre at best. We want to have a shot at the Cup, we need her as our third chaser.”

“Don’t fear Skye. While I think Lizzie made a formidable beater, I agree with you. She’s evolved into a true chaser. No, we will hold try outs to see if a new calling arises in one of our fellow housemates.”

Satisfied with his answer, Skye let go of Lizzie, who was peering out of the window.

“I am really glad to hear that.” She pulled Skye to her feet.

“Come on, girls, we’re almost there, let’s get changed.” She grabbed the bag with her school robes inside and waited impatiently until Skye had dug up hers out of the chaos that was her trunk.

***

They had nearly arrived at Hogsmeade Station when Skye, Penny and Lizzie returned.

Orion was clasping his robe over his sweater, feeling uncomfortable. He hated wearing his school uniform, he always felt confined in them. He was already looking forward to changing into his loose shirt and coat again.

He touched his tie, looking at McNully questioningly. “Good?”

His friend grinned at him. “Not as good-looking as me, but good enough, I guess.”

He pointed to Orion’s neck. “You forgot your necklace, though.”

Orion ran his hand over the round pendant he always wore around his neck, tucking it down his shirt. “No, I didn’t. I am not taking it off if I don’t have to.”

“I know.” McNully waved a hand at him. “I’ve never seen you without it, except when you’re playing Quidditch, which is because all pieces of jewellery have to be removed for safety reasons, since we became friends, which was in our first year, of course, when you took the bed next to me in the dorm and we started chatting and…”

He actually managed to stop himself. “What I want to say, I know you don’t like taking it off.”

The door opened and Penny, Skye, and Lizzie re-entered the cabin. Skye wasn’t looking too happy to be wearing a skirt and robes instead of her signature house sweater and jacket. Orion saw her touching her tie in the same uncomfortable way he had just done.

“Ugh, I hate this uniform so much, it’s just so uncomfortable,” she complained promptly. “I really don’t see why we have to change for, what, two hours, before going back to the Common Rooms and getting out of these. We’ll be wearing them enough during the year.”

Lizzie rolled her eyes at her before reaching for her cat snoozing in her cage. “Can you just stop complaining, please? It’s not like you can change it.”

“Yes, but I can make a point about not liking it.”

“They just want everyone to look proper when the new students walk into the Great Hall for the first time.” Penny casually brushed some dirt off Skye’s shoulder, who shut up immediately.

“Speaking about looking proper, Lizzie, you should really brush out your hair, I don’t think Professor Sprout would appreciate you walking in with hair that messy.”

Lizzy touched her hair she still had tied up in a bun, now worse for wear from the heat and the wind coming from the window. “Oh, I forgot about that.” She pulled her hair band out, shaking out her light brown curls, brushing through them with her fingers as a makeshift brush. “Better?”

Penny looked at her dubiously. “Not much, but it’ll do, I think.” She ran her fingers through a strand of Lizzie’s hair. “I do have to say though, that new length suits you so well, Liz, I’m glad you listened to me and chopped it off.”

Orion watched Lizzie tucking her hair behind her ear. Penny was right, it suited her a lot. Until the end of last year, Lizzie’s long hair had almost come down to her waist. Not being the tallest, it had always made her look younger than she was, almost drowning her.

Now it ended just below her shoulders, the shorter length allowing it to curl stronger than before. She looked much more grown up like that, more feminine. As they were leaving the train, McNully, who was pushing his wheelchair in front of him, shot him a side glance.

“Lizzie looks changed, doesn’t she?”

Orion wondered if he had seen him looking. On second thought, of course he had.

“Is it important how we look on the outside when all that matters is our inside?” he evaded his question nebulously. For once, McNully didn’t reply, following the girls up to the carriages waiting for them.    

[dirt-cup-draco]

George x Reader- Day Off

Could I please request a post war George x Slytherin!reader where the reader always had a thing for George but never spoke to him because different houses. But she's in Diagon Alley and goes to his shop, and they have a moment and she asks him on a date? And just a lot of fluff. Thanks! @obsessedwithrandomthings

1993 You huffed, blowing a piece of your hair out of your eyes as you strolled down the wide hallway. Your hands were curled tight within the sleeves of your sweater as the chill of the dungeons began to get to you. You’d just come from your common room and you were hoping to steal some hot chocolate from the kitchens before anyone noticed your absence. 

It seemed luck wasn’t on your side as you were nearly knocked over by a slender redhead that you recognized all too well. “Watch it Weasley!” You hollered after him as you had to press your hand against the chilling stone wall. You scowled but when he stopped and looked at you, something in his bright eyes tugged hard at your heart. 

“Sorry ‘bout that,” He winked at you and you couldn’t fight the blush that spread onto your cheeks. All the while, the twin’s expression lit up and he glided over to you, long legs carrying him to his side far too quickly. 

“What’s a Slytherin doing out past curfew?” 

“I didn’t know it was any of your business,” 

“It’s not, but it might piss off the prefects headed this way,” 

At that moment you heard footsteps and voices drifting down the hall. You startled and grabbed the boy’s sleeve so he couldn’t run and leave you to deal with the fall out. “Get me out of this and then I’ll tell you,” 

He flashed you a grin, a strand of his longer hair falling down in front of his face and the inexplicable urge to tuck it behind his ear came over you. His eyes were chocolate covered amber and it gave him a constant aura of warmth that you couldn’t deny was helping you stay calm as your prefects drew closer. You’d be put through hell if they were to catch you slipping out. Again. 

“Hope you like running,”  

“Wha-”

And then the freckled boy you didn’t even know the name of (didn’t all weasleys look the same?) was dragging you away, letting his long legs carry the both of you further than you thought. His fingers were intertwined with yours and you squeezed tightly to keep up with him. You thought for a moment about how his hand completely engulfed yours. 

Your moment of wonderment was cut short by the boy stopping all of a sudden even as your legs still carried you forward until you slammed into his back with a small grunt. His hand tightened around yours to make sure that you remained upright. 

“S’pose we’re even then,” He mused with a smile you hadn’t seem fade since you’d first seen him. 

“Excuse me?” You huffed, brushing the front of your sweater down so the wrinkles faded. 

“I bumped into you, now you bump into me. We’re even,” He explained with an impish grin and you snorted.

“That was definitely your fault,” 

“Was it? If you hadn’t been so distracted by my clearly handsome features, you wouldn’t have bumped into me,” 

“Your back was to me, you don’t know what I was looking at,” You blushed, itching your nose with your sleeve to try and hide it. Thankfully, it was dark. 

The redhead only grinned and dropped your hand after you failed to let go first. It was then you realized that he had dragged you to just the place you needed to be. You smiled at the wonderful coincidence. “Thank you for helping me,” You spoke honestly as you both hovered outside of the kitchens. You stuck out your hand. “I’m Y/N”

“George,” He said, engulfing your hand once more to give two strong shakes before returning his hands to his pockets. “You going to tell me what you were up to then?”

“Nosy, aren’t we?” You teased. “I’ll tell you if you’ll join me for a cup of cocoa,” 

“Somehow I feel like you’re never going to tell me,” Yet, he followed. 

You sat on one of the counters, George directly across from you as he warmed his hands on the mug you’d given him. “I think I have a pretty easy guess about what you were planning on doing,” He smiled over the rim of his cup and you gave him a shy smile back. 

“Congratulations on not being completely daft, that’s rare for a gryffindor,” You poked fun. 

“Congratulations on not being incorrigible,  that’s rare for a slytherin,” He shot back and you couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up. 

“You’re preaching to the choir,”

You fell into a peaceful silence, drinking the sweet drink and warming up from the cold night. The kitchens held a certain warmth that your house would never hold and it was why you often found yourself here after curfew. 

Then, a thought occurred to you. “You know why I’m out past curfew, but I don’t know why you are. Care to share?” With a long sip at your cocoa, you fixed George with a curious stare. He smiled and crossed his lengthy legs on the top of the counter, elbows on his knees and mug set to the side as he peered back at you. 

“Me and my twin, Fred- you’ve probably heard of us-” He winked and you snickered, rolling your eyes. “We were playing a prank on filch but we got interrupted halfway through and split up. He’s probably asleep by now, but I ran down to the dungeons and ran into you,” 

“You probably wish you were asleep like him,” 

George thought for a minute, eyes never leaving yours. “I don’t think so,” 

“Why’s that?” You asked and you cursed yourself for how breathy it came out. You took another swallow of your hot drink to cover up your blunder. 

“He didn’t get hot chocolate,” George pointed out. He didn’t get to meet a brilliant girl. Is what he wanted to say. 

George and you continued to talk until the sun began to rise, a dewy blue light flooded the kitchen. You rubbed your eyes and let out a yawn. “I should be going now,” 

“Nice meeting you,” George said honestly, stretching his back after it had been in an odd and cramped position all night. “See you ‘round I hope,” 

“I”m sure you will,” You smiled, swatting his hand when he ruffled your hair. 

And George did see you after that. But every time he looked your way your eyes darted anywhere else and when he approached, you bolted. Eventually, he gave up. He knew it was a bad idea fancying a Slytherin. 

--

1999

You let your feet guide you through diagon alley, pretending you didn’t have a particular destination in mind. Ollivanders Wand Shop and Potage’s Cauldron Shop passed you and you looked at them with a fondness in your heart. Eeylops Owl Emporium looked as it always did and you stared into the dimly lit windows to find that there were several owls staring back through the bars of their cages. Oh, how excited new students would be to get their very own owl once they began Hogwarts. 

You frowned. When would new students be able to roam the shops and experience what you and your peers had for the years that you had spent at Hogwarts? The battle had ended a year and five months ago and you were still reeling. 

The loss of your friends weighed heavily on you, as did the absence of your parents. They were wonderful, spoiled you silly as you grew up and loved you with more than they had to give. Unfortunately, they’d been on the wrong side of the war. Their fear of Voldemort kept them under his thumb and they hadn’t believed they’d make it out alive if they’d opposed him. 

They were in Azkaban now, despite your best efforts to get their case reviewed. It was a headache and it kept you up far later into the night than you needed to be. It was hard to not be able to see them. Admittedly, you didn’t do much else outside of working, trying to free them, and sleeping. Which was why you’d decided today, you would take a break. It was your day off and you ought to get out of your childhood home.

You were living there while your parents were away, you didn’t want them to come out of Azkaban having lost so much only to realize their home was no longer theirs. You could do this one thing for them, if nothing else. Being home had it’s own negatives. You were surrounded by too many memories, and without your parents there to reminisce it felt bleak and empty. 

In comparison, Diagon Alley looked like a dream. The streets weren’t as packed as you’d seen them before. You knew that people were still finding their way back to where they’d been before and you weren’t sure anyone would ever be the same but you hoped that they got there one day. 

Finally, you stalled in front of the most colorful shop there was. The stunning red around the windows stood out even more against the warm light that was glowing from the inside out. A caricature of the twin’s similar likeness was built into the frame of the building, the large hand pulling away a top hat to show a surprised mechanical rabbit. You couldn’t help but smile. 

It was something the Weasley twins were very good at. Their pranks and jokes, their fireworks and shenanigans, all brought smiles to the faces of those who feared they didn’t have anything to smile about anymore. It was a reminder of better times and a reason to create your own little slice of joy in bleaker days. 

The bell above the door jangled as you entered and your ears were filled with a buzzing and popping noise, some music playing throughout the bright store. Their shelves were still stocked to the brim. Some families were scattered throughout, a few couples holding hands as they looked at candies, a group of friends chased each other throughout. 

“Looking for anything specific?” Came a voice directly behind and you jumped out of your skin at the shock of it. 

“Freddie! How many times have I told you you can’t go scaring guests!” Came the voice you were hoping to hear as he momentarily popped his head from the shelf he was working on arranging neatly. It was much like Fred’s, but softer and smoother around the edges. Fred was large bangs and showy lights during a firework show, George was the smoke and memories that remained when there weren’t anymore to be lit. 

“Sorry-?” Fred offered, an apologetic yet playful look on his face. It took you another few seconds to realize he was asking for your name.

“Oh! Y/N,”You offered, cheeks pink.

Fred extended a hand and it was only then you noticed he had a can supporting him. You had heard he’d been gravely injured during the war and you told yourself that’s why you hadn’t visited the shop yet You shook his hand with a firm grip and your eyes went back to his. 

“Y/N?” George mimicked, head poking back out as he stared at your back. You had to suppress the shiver that went down your spine. 

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out,” You winked as you spun around to meet the boy you hadn’t been able to get out of your head for the past six years. One thing had changed. He was definitely not a boy anymore. 

In a moment you were gathered into a pair of strong arms and you were sure it had been all the quidditch he’d played during school. You grinned and squeezed him back. You weren’t surprised by the affection, it was something you had come to expect from George. Despite your many attempts to avoid him in case he saw how flustered you got in his presence, you’d been observing. He always had a grin on his face, always had his arm around someone’s shoulders. 

“It’s been-” 

“Six years,” You finished with a hefty sigh as he set you back down onto the floor. 

“You know each other?” Fred questioned, eyebrow quirked as his twin stared down at you with clear adoration.

“Uh yeah, she made me hot chocolate,” 

“He kept me from getting detention,” 

George smiled and ruffled your hair. “He did that too,” You tried to sound put out but you felt lighter than you had in months and it was solely because of his presence and the aura that filled the joke shop. 

“So are you looking for anything specific?” George repeated his brother’s question and you shrugged. 

“If I said you?” You mumbled, eyes quickly avoiding his as you picked at a loose thread on the end of your sweater. 

“I-I” George stammered trying to collect himself as Fred gave him a sly look before disappearing. “I’d be surprised, we didn’t talk much after that day... We didn’t talk at all actually. sort of thought you hated me.” 

“The opposite actually,” You blushed. “I just figured you wouldn’t be interested in talking to the odd slytherin girl... Got in my head about it and avoided you every chance I got,” 

“I like odd,” George shrugged.

You laughed softly as you looked around the shop. “I’m seeing that now,” 

“But I get what you mean, I eventually started avoiding you too. How do you tell the girl you talked to once that you fancied her?” George added and you paused. 

“You what?” 

George blushed now, the hue coloring his pale cheeks nicely and making his freckles stand out even more. “You were cute, you were funny. I had a good time talking and well Fred has always given me a bad time about falling too fast for someone,” 

“I’d be lying to you if I said that I didn’t feel the same way. There wasn’t anyone else I would rather be saved from detention by,” 

George smiled and reached out to play with the ends of your hair. “Is there a point to us dwelling in the past?” It wasn’t bitter, it was simply a question that needed to be answered. You’d held it in for too long and now that the world had settled down you were looking to do the same. Dating was hard, you hadn’t had much luck. It might be because every time you made a cup of cocoa you only wanted to share it with one person. 

“Um-” You became bashful. It had been so long, you had no clue if George was seeing anyone. You had hoped not, and his friendly greeting gave you hope but that was how he was with everyone. Had his feelings stayed in the past? “What if I say yes?” 

George smiled a bit more and twirled your hair around his finger. “Is there something you’re not saying Y/N?” You blushed a deeper shade, lips pursed as you pouted. George Weasley knew damn well what you were trying to get at. 

“Do you want to go on a date you git?” You finally decided on and George’s grin got impossibly wider as he let out a laugh that had the patrons staring. 

“What if I say yes?” He mimicked and you groaned. 

“Actually, I take it back! I forgot how difficult you could be” You turned to leave but George’s hand caught your own and you noticed for the first time that he was missing an ear. You hadn’t heard about him getting injured in the battle... Had it happened before? George coughed in embarrassment and you tore your eyes away.

“If you say yes,” You tried to recover. “Then I’d ask if you wanted to go to  Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour?”

“It’s September,” George pointed out.

“So that’s a yes?” You hoped for the best, seeing as he hadn’t said no immediately. 

“Freddie!” George called out and he got a muffled shout in response. “I’m going on my lunch break,” 

“Wait, now!?” You sputtered as George held your hand and let you out of the door. 

“We wasted six years, why waste more time?” He had a good point. 

You squeezed his hand back and followed. Your day off turned out to be much better than you’d hoped. 

[equisetumspn]

A Different Kind of Profound Bond

Dean is in that wonderful state between being asleep and awake. For once he feels like he’s had a good night’s sleep, not waking up from nightmares and horrible memories of people dying does wonders for the mood and your energy levels. He is still sleep soft and it’s warm in the bed. It seems to be even warmer on the other side of the bed, so Dean turns over and snuggles closer to the source of the warmth.

“Dean wake up,” the heat source says.

The voice is deep and very familiar, it feels safe. But it’s so insistent and Dean doesn’t want to do what it says, he wants to go back to sleep and see if he can find that blue color he saw in his dream again. He protests and tries to bury even closer to the warmth.

“I understand that you are comfortable, Dean, but you have to wake up. We need to fix this.”

Dean finally gives in and stirs, his face is half smushed into his pillow and half pressed against a body. A body in his bed? What? That can’t be right, he doesn’t bring anyone home to the bunker, that’s way too dangerous, and besides it’s been an eternity since someone caught his eye at a bar or anywhere else for that matter. Dean lifts his head. Cas. That’s why the voice was so familiar even though he was basically still asleep. He groans and lets his head fall back down on the pillow, forcing himself to move away from Cas. Just a little bit, he doesn’t seem to be able to go very far away from Cas.

“Cas. Why the hell are you in my bed?”

“My apologies Dean, but I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know? How can you not know what you’re doing here?”

“That’s not what you asked. I know what I’m doing. I’m sitting. I’ve been sitting here for the last two and half hours, almost three hours now, waiting for you to wake up.”

“Potato, potato,” Dean frowns into the pillow, praying to any higher power that listens to give him the patience to deal with this before he’s had his coffee. “Okay then. Why are you in my bed?”

“I told you, I don’t know. I was in Madagascar watching the ring-tailed lemurs, you know how I like when lemurs jump sideways like that, and then all of a sudden I wasn’t there anymore. I had been transported here and was sitting on your bed. Tied to you.”

Cas lifts his left hand; a pink ribbon is attached to his wrist. It curls in a few loops on the mattress before it disappears under Dean’s pillow. Dean sits up very quickly. The other end of it is looped around his own right wrist.

“Son of a bitch! What the hell is this?!” He pulls at it, but it won’t budge. When Dean inspects it closer after turning on the bedside lamp, there are no knots or fastenings of any kind. It’s just there, almost like it’s been welded on to their arms. As for the ribbon itself, Dean looks at it and almost shudders. It’s one of the most aggressively froufrou things he’s ever seen, and he’s seen some weird shit in his life. It has a light pink base, and what he first thought was dots turns out to be hearts in several shades of darker pink, red, and purple. Some are even covered in glitter.

Dean almost suspects the start of a new prank war, but then he remembers that Sam’s spending the weekend with Eileen and that Cas had just popped down next to him like he’d been summoned, so he stashes that idea back where it came from.

“All right. That’s it, let’s go cut this eyesore off before we turn into freakin My Little Pony or something. Then we can figure out what happened.”  

Out of old habit, Dean turns to his left to get off the bed on what he considers to be his side. It hits him that it’s kind of strange that he has a side in the bed that is his, when in reality all of the bed is his, and he should be able to roll out of bed on either side of it without it feeling weird. The thought disappears when he’s yanked backwards back onto the bed and his half naked body collides with Cas’ fully clothed body. They both wince at the impact, and Dean is actually thankful for the pain in his head where it bumped into Cas’ as they try to detangle themselves from each other. He really doesn’t need to think about his own limbs entwined with Cas’. Especially not in bed. Not now. Not when he’s only dressed in boxers and a t-shirt.

“It would seem that the ribbon is too short for us to dismount the bed at different sides.”

“Yeah thanks for that input Captain Obvious. I kinda noticed that myself,” Dean huffs and rubs at the sore spot at his temple. “And don’t use the word ‘dismount’. Just don’t.”

Dean sighs and submits himself to the undignified feeling of having to crawl across the bed to the foot end at the other side so they can get to their feet without any more painful incidents. He leads them over to his dresser where he picks up yesterday’s folded jeans and pulls them on, he opens a drawer and puts on a pair of socks before he shoves his feet into his boots, not bothering with tying them, he just pushes the strings down under his feet. On the top of the dresser is a flannel shirt, he tries to put it on but since he and Cas are bound together, only his left arm is able to make it through its sleeve. He lets it go and it hangs from his left wrist. Great, now it feels like both his arms are stuck.

“Damn it! Come on, kitchen time!” Dean says and pulls Cas after him while taking off the flannel that’s dragging behind him on the floor.

 When they get to the kitchen, Dean tugs Cas to one of the drawers where he takes out the scissors and in one quick motion, he cuts the ribbon off.

“Yes. It’s very strange. Do you think it’s dangerous?” Cas frowns down at the ribbon, eyebrows knitted together.

“Aha! See, that wasn’t so complicated. Problem solv…” Dean swallows the second half of the word as the ribbon swiftly heals itself and he is yet again bound to Cas. “What the hell just happened? Did you see that?”

“I don’t know, I just want it gone.” Dean lifts the scissors again and cuts it off once more. And again. And again. “Damn it!” He tries with a knife instead; the edges of the ribbon aren’t as neatly severed as with the scissors, but he barely has time to lift the knife before the ribbon is back together. He cuts it off again and this time he takes a big leap backwards, away from Cas, just as he cuts through the shiny fabric that ties them together. His hope of freedom shatters immediately when Cas is shoved closer to him at such a speed that they go tumbling down on the floor, tangled together again. Nearly all of Cas’ weight is pressed down on Dean, Cas lifts his head and looks down on him. Dean feels Cas’ breathing on his face and his eyes dart down to Cas’ parted lips. Dean’s eyes close and after forcing himself to take a steadying breath, he manages to get out “What if we try your angel blade?” His voice still sounds shaky to his own ears, but he hopes that Cas’ll put that to their combined fall and not to the proximity. He keeps his eyes shut as Cas struggles to sit up, determinedly thinking about things that aren’t his best friend’s squirming body against his own. When he looks up, he sees Cas’ face screwed up in that concentrated look he always gets when he summons his blade. Cas cuts off the ribbon and they share a bemused look when it magically glues itself back together.

“Do it again.”

“No Dean. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not? It’s gotta work sooner or later.”

“Perhaps. But it seems like it’s gotten much shorter. I think it’s shrinking a bit every time it gets cut off and then heals.” Cas holds up his left hand. Now that Dean looks at it, he sees that Cas is right; the ribbon started out being four feet something and now there’s just three feet of sparkly material separating their hands. And that is if you’re generous with your measuring.  

“Oh fuck. Yeah. Okay, yeah, let’s not do that anymore.” Dean buries his face in his hand.

“What are we going to do?”

“I don’t know Cas.” He peeks out between his fingers, wincing. “But I really need to pee.”

  Dean decides to take them to the smallest bathroom in the entire bunker. He hopes that if he does that, he can go in and Cas can stay outside. They manage to do that, but it’s a very close call. Cas has to stay pressed against the door frame, and when Dean has closed the door behind him, he can just about reach the toilet to do his business. On the other side of the door he can still hear Cas muttering about the fact that it’s really very unnecessary to close the door and that urinating is a completely natural process and all mammals do it as a way to get rid of metabolic waste products from the body and why should Dean be ashamed of it and force Cas to stand so uncomfortably close to the door? Dean tunes him out as much as he can. Cas still needs come in for him to be able to reach the sink to wash his hands. It is one of the most excruciatingly embarrassing bathroom experiences Dean’s had in a very long time, which really is saying something considering all his years on the road with dingy gas stations and shared motel rooms.

Dean dries his hands and turns to Cas. “Okay, let’s go back to the kitchen and make some coffee. And then I think we’ll call Rowena up for a little chat.”

“Rowena?”

“Yeah. I think she’ll be our best shot at trying to figure out what’s going on here, since you know she’s a centuries old witch and there seems to be some kinda magic shit going on with this girly leash thingy.”

“Dean, from what I’ve seen throughout history, pink doesn’t need to be a feminine color. In fact, artists often depict baby Jesus dressed in red or pink and Mary in blue in paintings, and in the 18th century it was worn by both men and women of the European aristocracies, and boys were often dressed in pink because people saw it as a lighter red, which was a military color, and in Northern India pink turbans are very common, and” Cas draws in another breath to continue his lecture on the apparently so fascinating history of color. Dean cuts in before he can start talking again.

“Yeah yeah, I’m sure that’s very interesting but it doesn’t matter right now. Come on, coffee.”

“Are you sure we should call Rowena? Wouldn’t it be better to start with Sam? He has a vast knowledge of spells and enchantments; he might know what we should do.”

“No. I ain’t calling Sam about this. Firstly, he’s having a cozy weekend with Eileen, and I don’t even want to think about what they’re doing but I know that we shouldn’t interrupt them,” Dean shudders and hands Cas a cup of coffee as he looks sternly at him, trying to get Cas to realize that they can never reveal this to Sam. “Secondly, if we were to tell him about this, that you showed up in my bed and that we’re tied together by a shrinking pink band with glitter on it? Sam’d laugh until he got a hernia, and we’d never ever hear the end of it. So, no Cas, we ain’t telling Sammy about this. Never ever, got it?” He holds Cas’ gaze until he nods back at Dean.

“Good,” he pours himself a cup of coffee. Dean drags Cas after him to the fridge and takes out what’s left of the apple pie he baked yesterday, he moves to cut a piece and put it on a plate but decides against it. Screw manners, he’s got more pressing things to think about. He takes a fork and shoves pie directly from the tin into his mouth. As he chews, he pulls out his phone and flips through the phonebook, and when waiting for Rowena to pick up he scoops in more pie.

 As they are waiting for the coffee to brew, Cas turns to Dean.

“Well well, if it isn’t Dean Winchester.”

“Hey Rowena. How are you doing? Good? Good. I kinda need a favor.”

“A favor? My, what could I do for you, my second favorite hunter?”

“I’m your second favorite? Who’s first?”

“Why, that would be Samuel of course. He shows a much greater propensity for the magical arts than you do Dean, surely you must know that.”

“Uh… Yeah, sure. I’m actually calling you to ask about magic stuff. You see,” he says and launches into an explanation of the things they’ve been through during the morning. He’s not even a quarter through, before he needs switch over to speaker phone since Cas keeps interrupting to add things or to explain them in other words.

“I see,” Rowena says when they’re done. “Castiel, when you say you were transported, did you feel anything out of the ordinary? Something you’re not used to? Anything unusual at all?”

Cas tilts his head and squints as he thinks, and Dean has to dig his fingernails into the palm of his hands to not reach out and do something stupid.

“No, I don’t think so. It felt like it does when I’m flying.”

“Precisely my point. It may be magical but I do not believe that there’s anything particularly malign about this ribbon you speak of, rather that it’s some sort of practical joke.”

“A prank? But who would do that?” Cas asks, head still tilted to one side.

“Oh, come now, boys, you can do better than that. Have a proper think about it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have things to do. Do let me know how it goes. Toodles.” She hangs up.

Cas looks at Dean. “Do you really think it’s a prank?”

“Maybe.”

“Who do you think would do this to us?”

“I’m starting to get an inkling. I think Rowena might be on to something with the whole you not feeling anything strange when plopped down into my bed.” Dean feels himself flush at the possible implication of his last words and tries to hide it by downing the last of his coffee. He sees Cas process the information and the moment it clicks for him he makes an oh-face.

“Gabriel.”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Dean has barely gotten the words out before the kitchen is filled with the sound of fluttering wings and Gabriel pops into the room, grinning around a lollipop.

“I thought I heard the sweet sound of my beautiful name! Hey guys, Happy Valentine’s Day!” He pulls the lollipop out of his mouth. It’s bright red and shaped like a heart, Dean can smell the artificial cherry of it from where he’s standing seven feet away.

“Gabriel, this is not funny!” Cas scowls at his brother.

“Au contraire Cassie boy, I think this is hilarious! Naaaw, I see that it’s shrunken a bit, hasn’t it? I guess that’s your doing Dean-o, cutting it off so many times? T-t-t-t-t. I was so generous with the length of my pretty ribbon, almost five feet is a lot further than the normal distance between the two of you. But of course you couldn’t help yourselves and had to get closer to each other. That’s actually kind of sweet, but I must say, I’m a little disappointed that you figured it out so quickly. It would’ve been so much fun if it had shrunk more…”

“Listen here you smug little fucker! If you don’t remove this girly shit -”

“Dean.”

“Yeah, I know Cas, I know. If you don’t remove this pink shit right now, I’m gonna banish you to the fucking moon using every damn sigil I know!”

“Oh Deanie, don’t be such a meanie! Come on, that’s no way to speak to someone on this day of love. I think it’s time to… Hmm, yes it definitely is.” Gabriel gives the lollipop a few kitten licks before he puts it back into his mouth. He smirks and snaps his fingers. The length of the ribbon shrinks so much that it’s just the loops around their wrists left of it. Dean’s right arm is now pressed flush against Cas’ left and Dean feels the soft skin of the back of Cas’ hand rubbing against his own when Cas moves. Shit. This is not good. “There we are. Much better!” Gabriel smirks again.

“Gabriel, release us now!”

“Nopes, lil bro. Shan’t do that, won’t do that. I’m just trying to help, to give you two a final little push. All that pining is starting to get on my nerves. On all our nerves, I think. It was fun in the beginning but now it’s just tedious and in fact a bit pathetic, so I figured it was time to do something about it. Hey, why don’t you see the ribbon as a different kind of profound bond!”

Dean gapes at the arch angel, feeling himself go beet red. When he glances at Cas, there’s a soft dusting of pink at the top of his high cheekbones.

“As pleasant as this has been, I can’t hang around here all day. I’ve got Valentine’s Day plans of my own, you know.” Gabriel wiggles his eyebrows before giving them a pointed look. “I think that the two of you know deep down how to get rid of the last of the ribbon. I’ve peeked in on you a couple of times this morning and you’ve been reeeaaal close. So I guess it’s up to you now, if you’re gonna do anything about it or if you’re gonna stay stuck together. Not that there’s that much of a difference to how it usually is…” He shrugs. “Well, I really must be off, clock’s ticking, places to be and people to do and all that jazz. Good luck kiddos! Have fun and remember to use protection!” Gabriel winks at them and plops away, the last thing they hear of him is his cackling laughter.

All of the anger and frustration Dean has felt throughout the morning has suddenly left him. He doesn’t really know what to feel right now. Confusion, mostly. Gabriel may be a smarmy little bastard who generally does things just for shits and giggles, but even if he messes with people, he’s not evil. Dean sighs. Shit, why is everyone so insightful today? But what if Gabriel’s right though? Maybe it’s time to finally do something about this thing that’s been between him and Cas since… since when really? Dean loses himself in thought, reflecting back on everything they’ve been through. Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory. Angels and demons. Gods and humans. Working together and working against each other. Dying and coming back to life. Lost memories and having been torn apart. But, he thinks, no matter how many times they’ve lost each other they have always, always found each other again. Him and Cas. Cas and him. If Dean would live a million lives, he’d never meet anyone who could mean as much to him than Cas does, who could affect him as much as Cas does. They have been so much for each other. Allies. Friends. Enemies. Family. And yeah, there’s something else too. Something’s that’s been there for a very long time. If Dean’s honest with himself - and why shouldn’t he at this point, he’s sick and tired of lying to himself, of denying and suppressing things – he has other feelings for Cas. Not a crush, that sounds too childish and besides it’s not enough. Not even being in love is strong enough, he knows that he loves Cas, but what they have is something else. Something completely different. And yeah, he knows that all couples are different from each other and that all couples probably think that their story is the greatest love story ever, but Dean knows for a fact that their story has every other beat. It’s time for them to take the final step now. No one is dead or dying. No one is going through any kind of trials or being a demon or a god. No one is trying to rebel against something and there are no big bads to defeat and no apocalypse to stop. It’s finally time. And if they need a new word to be able to describe what they are to each other, then that’ll come in due time. Otherwise, him and Cas, they have always been good at defying all labels. The timing is finally right, and all Dean feels is the rightness of it.

 After Gabriel has disappeared, they stand there, side by side, in the quiet kitchen. The only sound is the hum of the fridge and the occasional creaking from the bunker’s old heating system.

“Dean?”

“Hmmm?”

He turns to look at Cas and when he sees into his blue eyes, he’s absolutely certain that this is it. A life defining moment. He knows that during the last few minutes, Cas has gone through a similar thought process to his own. He can see it in his eyes. Dean is met with so much love and warmth and adoration that his breath catches in his throat.

“Dean?”

“Yeah, Cas?”

And that’s all that Cas needs. He lifts his free hand to Dean’s cheek and when his thumb strokes Dean’s cheekbone the look in his eyes soften even more. Dean’s own free hand, his left one, goes to Cas’s hip, and when he sees Cas lean in, he moves it to the small of his back to pull him closer. Dean’s eyes don’t close until their lips meet and he knows that he was right. This is a life defining moment. Dean doesn’t understand how he has gone so many years without kissing Cas and now that he has started, he feels like he never wants to stop doing it. It gets even better once Cas open his mouth when Dean licks at his full bottom lip and their tongues touch for the first time. Dean swallows Cas’ moan and lifts his right hand to bury his fingers in Cas’ dark hair and he feels Cas’ both arms wind around his waist to get even closer. Wait. Both his arms?  

At the sound of a fanfare, they reluctantly pull away from each other. Not far away, just far enough to be able to look around the room and see the banner that folds out along the entire wall over the table. It says ‘Congrats on finally getting your heads out of your asses!!!’ in bright cursive letters. They also see the confetti that starts falling from the ceiling. Heart shaped confetti in shades of pink, red, and purple. But what else could they expect from Gabriel when he tied them together with that pink ribbon?

  (The confetti keeps falling for several hours. It’s like some kind of Barbie-snow, but thankfully it’s only in the kitchen. They sweep it up later, wanting to get rid of it before Sam comes back home. And if Dean scoops up some of the hearts to put in a drawer and keep as a memory of the final push they needed to get together at last? Well, then that’s between him and Cas…)

 (They don’t tell Sam how they finally got together. Gabriel tells him. And yeah, Dean was right. Sam laughs so hard he falls off the chair he’s sitting on and then he keeps erupting into giggles at random times over the next few weeks. Dean’s revenge for the constant teasing that follows is to make out with Cas on every single surface in the bunker. Every. Single. Surface. Including Sam’s bed. Revenge is sweet. 

Especially when it tastes like Cas.)

[twofootedbones]

Rose Colored Shades

Summary: There was once a moment where Latula knew who Cronus was, but when you’re wearing rose colored glasses, every flag is just a flag. 

A look through Latula’s eyes and her view of was had happened between her, Cronus, and Mituna that made them break farther apart than she would have ever liked. 

 You know those stories, those ones where they always start with the “just us three against the world?” Well that’s how this one starts. It was just me and my boys, my two goofballs that I loved with my whole bloodpusher. My matesprit Mituna Captor and my considering morail Cronus Ampora. The days we spent together were always perfect, it didn’t matter if we got a skate trick wrong, got chased away for loitering, or just couldn’t get past this one level in some dumb video game we picked up from the discount bin. We were the perfect Kingdom Bloodpushers trio! One epic heroine and her two boy sidekicks. 

Then we started the game. Me and ‘Tuna saw it as the perfect challenge and we dragged poor ol’ Cro along with us. It didn’t take long for a lot of things to go sour though. Everyone started screaming and punching, pretty sure half of the screaming was Kankri’s fault but it was chaos nonetheless. We all went from one radical kickass group into a clusterfuck of horrible words and totally not rad violence. No one listened to each other and everyone tried to be the leader. Many of us actually broke away from the group to do things our own way. Blame is on teenage angst.

  Then it happened. I wasn’t around to see it and I beat myself up about it every single day. The only one to see it was that stupid mime and he barely showed an ounce of pitty in those cursed eyes. Just bringing the body to us, plopping him on the ground, and walking away like he didn’t just deliver us the most horrific thing we had ever seen. No one knew how to act at this point, we stood there just staring at him. The Tuna I once knew was gone, none of us knew how to help him, he laid there on the ground just shaking and crying. He was covered in his own 

The cursor flashed on the screen, waiting for the next words to be written. Latula leaned back in her desk chair, wiping the sudden tears away from her face ultimately ruining the minimal mascara she had put on just hours before. This was going to take a while. She didn’t know why she was trying to write something like this, Aranea claimed that writing gave “feels closure” whatever that meant. Just a few feet away sat lil Mituna. Well he wasn’t that little as he towered over her by a solid foot, but he was her little honey bee. He was starfishing in the bean bag chair as he idly chewed on a necklace he found somewhere in his hive. His hair was held out of his face by one of Latula’s scrunchies and he sat in just a pair of gym shorts, the fern leaf-like scars that danced across his body being revealed. He hated it when the others saw them, she was the only exception. She was allowed to gaze upon and touch the flowing scars. It was as if his veins had been dyed faint shades of red and blue. 

He had yet to notice her eyes on him and continued to just stare off at the wall, not even paying mind to the show that was playing on the TV. Latula took a deep breath and turned back to the document.The same blinking cursor ready for her to continue.

When he woke up he wasn’t the same, or so I was convinced. When his eyes finally opened, they weren’t the same red and blue slushie color I was so used to seeing. They were completely void of his colors, a black and white that he carried with him to the dream bubbles. He was afraid and confused and he didn’t recognize any of us. He tried to run from all of us whenever he was awake, but all he gained from that was agitating all the harsh electrical burns he had. I was starting to grow sick of yellow being smeared all over the room. The day ‘Tuna first woke was the same day I saw Cronus Ampora genuinely cry for the last time. He stopped coming to visit Mituna shortly after, claiming that everything that came out of his mouth was wrong even though all that really came out was screams of fear. The last time he visited he lashed out at him, it wasn’t much just a shout of the words “shut up” before he ran out of the room. I was willing to push that aside back then, I was at my wits end too. We thought that my matesprit and his best friend was gone. We both believed that our trio was soon going to be a duo. Cronus couldn’t bear to see his friend like this anymore, leaving me alone to take care of him. 

It didn’t take long for Tuna to start using words again. Guaranteed they were in the wrong order, but they were words. He stopped screaming at everyone and he stopped trying to run away from all of us. But he would still pick at his scabs and burns.

 One day he asked me what my name was for the ten-thousandth time. Except instead of repeating it back to me or forgetting it immediately, this dork said and I quote: “That’s pretty, like you!” 

At that moment I swear I was falling in love with him twice over. Every time I would come into the block we kept him in he would call me pretty. He eventually started calling me by my name, but for months he would always ask for me by calling me “the pretty lady” 

Not even a sweep passed before we were all done for. Our game failed and now here we are living forever in the dream bubbles. Totally not a rad ending I kn

A crash interrupted her typing, she quickly turned around only to see that Mituna was no longer in the block with her. “Tuna?” she called out. A faint mumble came before she heard the boy in question reply from the nutrition block. “I DIDN’T BREAK ANYTHING,” was all he screamed. Latula had long gotten used to his lack of volume control. “It was plas- pl- not glass!” he followed in a completely different tone. “Are you sure you don’t need help bee?” she got up out of her chair and started walking towards the block. Standing in the center of a tupperware war-zone stood Mituna Captor and his perfectly poured cup of orange juice. “Hi,” he said with the largest smile plastered onto his face. Latula’s smile came slowly before she was just flat out wheezing at the scene before her, Mituna joined his cackling laugh mixing with hers. The Captor stopped to take a sip of the juice before kicking around at the tupperware. They couldn’t have anything glass in the hive because of this and the glass they do have is hidden in the lowest cabinets where this gentle giant doesn’t think to look. 

“What happened?” 

Mituna pointed up towards the cabinet. “I put the-them away lasst,” he admitted. The boy’s version of putting away the dishes is to stack up a disaster that will ultimately topple over the second someone would open the door. He put his cup down on the counter and started to clean up the mess. Latula joined him. This wasn’t anything really that new, he would always set up the dishes this way in Cronus’ hive whenever they would visit, just to watch the seadweller open the door to be pelted by this psionic’s genius pranks. Now it’s become a normal schedule to never open the cabinet door fully. Kankri has told them that Cronus still does that as a habit, having to watch the seadweller cringe before opening anything every time he goes over there to lecture him. Meenah has even just told Cronus to remove the door if he’s going to keep complaining about it

After fixing the nutrition block back up and settling Tuna back into his spot, this time with juice and a movie he would actually kind of focus on, Latula returned to her husktop, spamming the space bar to wake it back up. 

Ya know, when you look at the world through rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags. Things started to get worse and worse with Cronus the more ‘Tuna recovered. Cronus just couldn’t see the friend he once knew anymore but that gives him no right to treat him the way he did and still does. The day we started to completely cut off all contact with Cronus was the day he actually hit Mituna in front of me. Me and ‘Tuna were just out skating, trying to find the best place to try some basic tricks when we came across Cro’. We took a short break to talk to him for a bit, I should’ve noticed this so much sooner but Mituna was extremely uncomfortable being around him. It’s my fault for not hearing it in his words. Cronus continued to speak some kind of friendship nonsense and wrapped his arm around my bee’s shoulder. ‘Tuna tensed up and shoved the guy away, hard. Cronus looked at him shocked just standing there. Then the bastard said something I will never forget. “I should’ve fucking culled you after we found your broken sorry-ass,” 

Then he reeled back and punched ‘Tuna square in the face. The visor on that helmet cracked and shattered. They started to brawl. Mituna pulled off his helmet to throw it right at Cronus’ chest and managed to pick up his skateboard to slam it into the dude’s side. I grabbed onto ‘Tuna and got out of there ASAP, the poor boy continuing to scream, swear and shout jumbled words all the way until we got back to my hive. I don’t know what happened to the beaten fucker in the dirt, but he could just sit there and wallow for all I care. 

I blocked Cronus on every single platform we shared that night, went into ‘Tuna’s accounts and did the same. While he doesn’t use any of his accounts any more they are important to me and I wouldn’t want that asshole touching any of it. Each and every post being a museum of what Mituna Captor once was and continues to be. 

There have been more times where the two of them have gotten into fights, usually times where I’m not around. I try my best to stay by his side and keep him away, but I can’t coddle him. I refuse to baby my baby. There’s- 

A sudden weight on her shoulders interrupted her writing. “Whatcha writing, Tulip?” her boy said in a sing-song voice. She lifted her arms up to grab onto the ones around her. “Oh, nothing too important,” she tilted her head up to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. Mituna giggled and rubbed his face in her hair. She laughed, pushing the arms off her and getting up. “Wanna watch another movie? I’ll watch with you this time,” she asked, hugging him close. She felt those same awkward lanky arms wrap around her. “Nah, let’ss play Trollio Kart,” he said. 

“Flushed for you,” 

“Flushshed for you tooo,”

[siriusmuch]

happy birthday, james potter!

i swear i’ll write some more later, but happy birthday james. you, who inspired me to be brave and fight for my loved ones. you, who was the definition of never giving up. and you, who always chased your dreams.

here’s a bunch of headcanons n kinda angsty plot! pls enjoy ♡ 

- before lily started liking james, special occasions were the days that she tolerated him a lot more.

- and this applies to his birthday. the marauders make a big deal of everyone’s birthday in their group, so how could she not know it was his birthday?

- and so, every year, when it was james’ birthday, he learned to look forward to lily saying happy birthday. and despite her best efforts to not acknowledge it, lily’s heart fluttered when james’ eyes lit up.

- before hogwarts, james’ parents baked him a quidditch-themed cake every year. how could they not? james was obsessed.

- sometimes it’d be a cake with the field, others it would be a snitch, etc.

- during fifth year, though, things were different.

- every year, james would be surrounded by his friends. but what if The Prank happened before james’ birthday? (it fits in the time frame perfectly :3c)

- sirius was off to god knows where more than half the time. james noticed, of course he did. sirius didn’t spend much time in the great hall, in their dorm, etc, and he’d always bring the map with him. he knew sirius did something terrible, but he also knew that sirius felt extremely guilty.

- but he didn’t want to ask too much from anyone. because remus just had his trust broken, and sirius felt terrible, and peter was on remus’ side because it was remus who he was friends with first.

- so, during fifth year on his birthday, he didn’t want to mention anything. he woke up early and disappeared into the room of requirement that same day.

- it was lily who found him first, actually. james barely had any clue of how long he’d been in the room, but he’d been sleeping for most the day. the other half the time, he was doing work or reading about quidditch.

- “i had a suspicion you’d be here, potter.”

- james would never admit it, but he jumped. unknowingly to him, lily visited the room of requirement almost as much as he did. it was a good place to get away from her thoughts, and her visits increased tenfold as it neared the end of the school year. she didn’t want to go back home to petunia.

- “oh, hey evans,” james would try to be casual. it didn’t work on lily.

- the two sat down and talked. for lily, it was an eyeopener to james’ more sensitive personality. and i’m a sucker for remus and lily’s friendship, so lily knows of his furry little problem. and of what happened with the whomping willow.

- and for james, it was the first time he truly let himself be more vulnerable with her. he liked lily, and it was clear as day to anyone, and it hurt getting rejected, but he didn’t mind chasing (ha). he didn’t really know how to be himself around her, but he was learning.

- james tells lily how he saved snape. lily knew that james was a decent person, but it just reinforces it. it was at that point lily understood that even though james bullied snape, at the very end, he wouldn’t allow anyone to die.

- and james tells lily about how he didn’t want to bother his friends. he tells her about how sirius was purposely avoiding everyone because he knows that remus doesn’t want to talk to him. he tells her how he knows sirius feels terrible and that if he had a choice, he wouldn’t ever do it again. he tells her how he doesn’t want to force his friends to be together and talk to each other for his sake.

- most importantly, he tells her that even though he misses how the marauders were, how he knows everyone is traumatized from the event, he tells her how he was trying to be strong too.

- it continues opening things up for lily. this was james’ best friend and brother. sirius and james had an unbreakable bond, and everyone knew that. and sirius was like a phantom, barely to be seen, and remus was coping with his trust being broken. he knows everyone was struggling. but he was too.

- james has nightmares, sometimes. about not being able to save snape and remus having to be exiled. of not knowing about it. of hesitating for a split second. he hadn’t told any of the marauders that, but lily was... lily was lily. and james felt like time stopped when it came to her. he felt safe.

- and james confesses that he doesn’t want to talk about it either because he knows that peter and remus and sirius all have nightmares about it too. he can see it in the dark circles under their eyes. he can see it in the way sirius can’t look anyone in the eye. he can see it in the way remus couldn’t focus on anything he read, constantly rereading a page over and over. he could see it in the way where peter used to study, but lacked any motivation to do so anymore.

- he didn’t want to bother him.

- and lily’s heart clenches for him. because he was a boy that she painted to be so bright and arrogant. he carried himself with confidence and was a natural genius. but she sees him a bit more, now. james potter, someone who seemed so simple to understand before, was now a lot more complex.

- he was empathetic for his friends. he carried the brave face, a shit-eating grin, but he was observant about the tiny things. he was passionate and loved his friends more than anything, and was extremely loyal. 

- and lily’s heart swells some more.

- “i think we all have problems right now, james.” lily starts, her hand bringing james’ face towards her. it was the first time she ever addresses him by his name. “i think everyone in the marauders misses what you guys had before. yes, what sirius did was... terrible, frankly, but he feels bad for it. and maybe you guys can’t solve your problems now, but you guys will. because your friend group is strong. but they miss you. sirius was at the great hall for breakfast and lunch today, and he was carrying around a bulk which i can only assume is a present. peter had some snacks, but he started eating them because he couldn’t find you and got anxious. (james snorted, and lily grinned.) remus was holding a quidditch book, i think, and one of those honeyduke chocolate bars that you guys always seem to buy out the entire stock of before i get there. they miss you. things are tense, but you guys are the marauders.”

- and james nods. he didn’t notice, but his head had leaned into lily’s touch. they were still in that position before lily ends up hugging him.

- james thinks about how small and warm she was against him. he thinks about the scent of her hair, the pretty flush on her cheeks, and the way he felt like he could spill everything to her.

- lily thinks about the toned body of james, not in a perverted way (maybe a little in a perverted way), but in a way where it was reassuring and steady and made her feel safe. she thinks about how he smelt like broom oil and a faint scent of cinnamon. 

- after james’ birthday, their banter was more friendly. until the snape incident, where he called her a mudblood. james was defensive over lily, but lily didn’t want to talk to him.

- it was understandable. she just lost her childhood friend after realizing what people had been warning her about was right. and lily tried blaming james for a while, because it was his fault that he egged snape on, but she never had the heart to do so. because what best friend would call you a slur? what best friend wouldn’t stop hanging out with people who made them uncomfortable for good reason?

- come sixth year. by james’ birthday, lily and james were friends again. their banter returned to being playful, but they weren’t close. james had slowly ceased his flirting and pranking.

- lily couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason why he changed, but she was happy. she didn’t have to feel bad about rejecting him. the pranks that james did still pull were funny, but it never went to the extent like it used to.

- maybe it was the war upcoming. students in hogwarts, no matter their year, seemed a lot more solemn now than before. everyone was on edge, and for good reason.

- and come seventh year. at that point, their friendship was the complete opposite of first year. because now, lily knew she was head over heels for james fleamont potter. and james knew that he was in love with lily.

- that’s when he’d ceased the flirting almost completely. because he was in love with her, and he realized that rejection hurt a lot more than before. so he kept his feelings to himself, although anyone with eyes could see just how much he loved her.

- on this birthday, there was a party. well, there was a party often, especially during birthdays, but this party marked their turning point.

- firewhiskey, muggle alcohol (who dared to sneak that in? probably remus.), butterbeer. there were tons of illegal substances, but who was stopping them? not the head boy and girl, of course.

- by the end of the party, most people had passed out in the common room. james and lily had retreated to the boys bedrooms (james knew better than to try climbing the girls side again), and they were a little drunk. liquid courage, amirite?

- it was tense, actually. they’d been on the brink of confessing their love for each other for ages, except james didn’t know that lily felt the same way. but james felt tense too, because he was scared to confess his feelings impulsively and scare lily off.

- it was lily who initiated the first kiss. james was probably talking about the future, how when he was smaller, he’d always wanted to be a quidditch player, but now he was going to be an auror. and lily just took a fistful of his shirt and pulled him in to kiss him.

- because he was just talking so much with those kissable lips, and lily couldn’t contain herself.

- and james looked frazzled, but it was a good kind. he pulled lily back in and kissed her, and he cheekily whispered, “hey, it’s not midnight yet. we could have birthday sex.” because he was a fool who was just a tad bit drunk and he was in love with her and she just kissed him.

- lily smacked his head, obviously, but kissed him again.

- they announced that they were dating the next day (but they both heard a few whispers, because “weren’t they dating already?”)

- so, happy birthday to james potter.

[theangriestpea]

Mercy Killing - 16

Summary: After a vicious run-in with a group of Ghoulies, Lavender Rhodes is forced down a bumpy road to recovery. In order to protect her from another attack, the Serpent king assigns Fangs and Sweet Pea to stay by her side. Too bad Lav and Sweet Pea can't stand each other.  <ao3>

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Lavender

Rating: Teen+

Word Count: 2.7k+

Warnings: Mild violence 

A/N: THIS IS THE END. It's finally here! The one good thing to come out of quarantine is I finally had time to devote to this. This is not very long but there's a totally good reason for that and you'll see at the very end of the chapter.

Chapter Sixteen: Aftermath

Lavender sat in FP’s office, twiddling with the hem of her skirt. She was currently being lectured on breaking the fifth Serpent law by breaking Kitty’s nose the night before at the Whyte Wyrm. She hardly saw how the little dispute was considered betrayal, and she wondered why FP was giving her such a hard time about it.

“Look kid, I know you’ve been through a lot the past two months. I get it. But you don’t welcome a new recruit by breaking a beer bottle across the back of her skull! That is the polar opposite of what you should have been doing!” FP said, his voice raising loud enough for anyone outside the room to hear. Currently that included the dynamic trio of Sweet Pea, Fangs, and Toni.

“She was sitting in my boyfriend’s lap. Was I supposed to just cheer on her while she proceeded to try and fuck him?” She asked, growing ever more irritated with her leader. He could at least try to understand.

FP stared her down, his gaze hard, “No one knew you two were even dating. Of course she sat in his lap, Shanna, you two were keeping it a secret. Next time maybe don’t be ashamed of your Serpent boyfriend.”

Lavender’s gaze steeled with an angry fire. “I’m not ashamed of him, FP. What I’m ashamed of is how everyone at Riverdale high things I’m a whore. Do you have any idea what they say about me behind my back? Hell, they’ll even say it to my face. I had just ended the relationship with James. If they knew I had bounced right over to Sweet Pea, then the torment would have been relentless. I get it, I shouldn’t have attacked her. And I’m sorry that I did, but if you want to take my jacket over this one little thing, then fine. You never deserved my loyalty in the first place.”

She stood, taking her jacket off and throwing it at him in one motion. “Don’t think for an instant that I don’t know that all this really comes back to you. You ordered my father to burn down the Ghoulies’ drug lab. You ordered him to destroy their stash. They came after me because he was doing his goddamn job, and all of that is on you.”

Not a moment later she turned and stormed out, slamming the door behind her and stomping down the stairs. Her two friends and boyfriend were staring at her, shocked looks across all of their faces. None of them had known anything about what she had just said to him. They knew she was targeted because of something her father had done, but that was the extent of it. They didn’t know the details.

Sweet Pea was the first to move, quickly catching up to her so that she wouldn't be outside alone. James was taken care of for the time being, but what about the three others? Jughead had declared war right in the rapist asshole’s face. He grabbed her wrist to stop her from going any further as it looked like she was not about to stop anytime soon.

“Shanna, stop, you know you can’t be out here alone.” He said, his voice loud but somehow gentle at the same time.

She stopped walking, too embarrassed to even look at him as hot angry tears fell down from her eyes. “I’m sorry, Sweet Pea. I guess I’m not a serpent anymore. I understand if you don’t want to be with me.”

He audibly sighed with annoyance as he pulled her into his chest so he could hold her in a close hug. “Listen, you’re still my girlfriend. Even if you are a brat that was hiding things from me.” His hand ran along her spine in an attempt to calm her down and to hopefully help her to stop crying. He still couldn’t handle her tears. “We’re not going to let FP kick you out over some dumbass cat fight, okay?”

Lavender sniffled, her tears stopping as she rested her head against his firm chest. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you…” She mumbled, thinking he was mad at her when really he wasn’t.

Sweet Pea picked her up suddenly, making her grab onto him in fright. He carried her over to Fang’s truck, setting her down the hood. “I don’t care that you didn’t tell me about your dad. What I care about is that those losers at school are still harassing you and you didn’t tell me.”

She attempted to wipe away the makeup that had smeared down her face thanks to her crying. It wasn’t much use. Luckily she had used waterproof mascara so she didn’t have thick black streaks all down her cheeks. “There’s nothing you can do about it, Pea. It is what it is. They’ll all forget about it eventually…”

He was standing between her legs, hands on her upper thighs. Her eyes flickered down to watch his thumbs rubbing the material of her skirt. “I want to help you.” His voice was soft now and it still seemed so foreign to her when he talked to her in this way.

“There’s not much to do about it now. Everyone is going to know we’re dating and the bulldogs will start with their shit again. Just, try not to get kicked out of school by kicking all of their asses.” She pulled him down for a light kiss in an attempt to prove to him that she would be okay.

“I won’t get kicked out if it’s not during school.” Sweet Pea muttered darkly, making her roll her eyes at him.

“Then you’ll get arrested. Which is worse.” She reprimanded him flatly. “Then who will be around to protect me from the rest of the Ghoulies?”

Sweet Pea grumbled something indiscernible under his breath as Fangs and Toni walked out to join them. Fangs had a familiar leather jacket in his hand. He threw it between the two lovers and it landed on Lavender’s lap, on top of Sweet Pea’s hands.

She noticed how much he was grinning, “You’re not kicked out. You’re just on probation.” He seemed much more happy about this than she did. Lav didn’t just want her jacket back, she also wanted an apology. However, she was almost certain that she’d never get one.

“We should throw a party tonight.” Lavender said, “I have an idea.”

The taller serpent looked skeptical, “an idea for what?”

“To draw the Ghoulies that hurt me out.” She said, and although fear rose high into her throat from the pit of her stomach, she acted completely calm.

Fangs shifted his weight uneasily, “what’s the plan?”

“We’re going to throw a party.” Lavender said, grinning brightly at the three of them.

Much later that night, the young Serpents (minus new recruit and recently injured Kitty Rollins) set up a booming house party in a vacant house on the Northside. The house had once been Lavender’s residence, before her mother sold it and left. The new buyers recently upped and left, as strange things kept happening around the home. Strange things that could all be accounted for scientifically if you knew where to look.

Lavender didn’t much like the fact that her mother sold the house and kicked her to the curb all at once. So she had done everything in her power to make the home unlivable for anyone that decided to move in by unleashing a multitude of clever pranks on the poor homeowners. It should go without saying that she was very pleased to see that they had upped and moved suddenly.

There were two kegs, an assorted liquor bar which Toni was manning for the night, Cheryl as her pretty barmaid,

“What would you like to drink, ma cherie?” Cheryl asked, a smile on her bright red lips.

Lav was paying her minimal attention, “something virgin that looks alcoholic.” She instructed. “I’m playing pretend tonight.”

Cheryl didn’t even bother feeling confused as she took the order to Toni who was already clued into the plan. Lavender was going to pretend to be drunk and act as if she was out alone. In reality Sweet Pea, Fangs, and Jughead would be lying in wait not far from her. And if that failed, she had her father’s switchblade tucked on the inside of her bra.

A few minutes later, Cheryl came back with her drink. It looked like some kind of fruity cocktail, but was really just a blend of fruit juice without the alcohol. “This round is on the house.” She said playfully, sliding the drink over.

“Cher, I am the house.” Lavender said with an amused smile. Cheryl merely winked at her before going to help Toni.

Sweet Pea swooped in a second later, anger already setting onto his features. He had been against this one hundred percent. He didn’t think she should be risking using herself as bait. It was reckless and he felt sick just knowing that she was going to be in danger, even if he would be right there with her to stop it.

“Angry Pea,” Lav said teasingly, “did you do as I asked?”

He motioned for Toni to bring him a beer, needing something to take the edge off. It was that or a cigarette and he’d already chain smoked half a pack less than an hour ago. Not long after a solo cup full of beer from the tapped keg was set in front of him and Sweet Pea chugged it down. Once he was finished he finally answered, “yes. It’s done. The Ghoulies know all about the party. They’ll show up sooner or later. Talon has eyes on the street so he can alert us when they get here.”

Lavender took his face into her hands and forced him down for a kiss. When she pulled away, there was a sour look on her face. “You taste like an ashtray.”

Sweet Pea was not amused. “That’s what you get for making me go through this stupid plan.” He bit back harshly. For a second he thought he saw a hurt look cross her face, but if it had been there then it was gone within a moment.

“It’s not stupid. I only know one other name, Pea. James made it clear that it would be the same ones as before. I’m still a prime target. I’ve got my knife if something happens and I’m not drinking tonight. You saw me take out Kitty the other night. You know I’m not some weak little girl when I’m not caught off-guard.” Her voice was stern now, as she was no longer in the mood for his pettiness. “God, you’re such an Aries.”

“What is that supposed to mean?!” He asked, voice raising at what he perceived was an insult. The purple haired girl merely shook her head at him.

“Forget it, stop making this into a fight. Think of it this way...You’ll get the wreck the other boys that attacked me just like you did James. Did you bring your bat?” She asked, her voice softening in an attempt to douse the flames growing inside of him.

He sighed and motioned towards the back corner of the kitchen. Old reliable was resting there, blood stained and beaten to hell. Lav smiled up at him brightly after she caught sight of it. “There, now stop worrying. You won’t let anything happen to me.”

All Sweet Pea could do was groan before getting a second cup of beer.

Hours later, Jughead got the call from Talon that there was a car with three Ghoulies inside hanging out front of the house. Jughead rounded up the other two boys plus Lav and reminded them of the plan. They would leave around back, hiding in the shadows while Lavender stumbled out front pretending to be drunk. Once everyone was clear of what their roles were, they set off to finish this once and for all.

Lavender was appearing completely calm about this, she knew she had to in order for Sweet Pea to not call the whole thing off. Truly inside she was an anxious mess. There was rage, sure. Did she want revenge? Naturally. But there was still that very much broken part of her that didn’t know if she could really face them again. There was no turning back now. She had to do this. Not just for herself but for Sweet Pea too. If they were ever going to work then they had to stop having to look over their shoulders everywhere they went.

She stumbled outside, tripping down the stone stairs to look as authentic as possible. Her hips moved side to side, swaying as she walked in a strange zigzag pattern. The three guardians hiding all thought that it might be just a little too convincing. However, Sweet Pea had watched over her like a hawk. She hadn’t had a drop of alcohol that night.

By the time she was in front of the next house, three boys exited the dented Chevy sedan that had been lying in weight. They descended upon her at a fast pace, cat calling and whistling. Taunts were thrown that she’d heard all before. The familiarity of it made her freeze, flashbacks whirring through her mind at light speed.

Sweet Pea cursed under his breath. He knew the look on her face all too well. “We need to go, now .” Trusting his judgement, Jughead gave the signal for them to reveal themselves.

Lavender found that she couldn’t move besides the shaking of her hands. It had been dark that night and she had been so intoxicated, but their voices were all so damn familiar. Every last one. There was no doubt in her mind that these three were the same ghouls from two months ago.

Her boyfriend came in swinging, his bat slamming into the back of the tallest Ghoulie’s head with a grotesque thud. Fangs was in a boxing pose, taking jab after jab with knuckles wrapped in brass.

Jughead managed to force her to move backwards and turn away before taking out his switchblade. They enjoyed cutting up defenseless women? Well then he was going to show them exactly what that felt like.

The fight felt like it lasted for hours when really it was over in minutes. Flashing blue and red lights were coming fast over the hill down the street. Sweet Pea scooped Lavender into his arms, throwing her over his shoulder so they could run to safety. Inside, lookouts were telling everyone to scram before the pigs got there.

Lavender lifted her head, and even though Sweet Pea was carrying them down the street in leaps and bounds, she could clearly see the three broken (but breathing) bodies of her assailants. And deep down she knew that justice had been served.

The next few weeks seemed to blur by. Lavender and Sweet Pea settled into a routine. While they seemed attached at the hip most days, there were times when they had to be separate to do jobs for the Serpents. During these times, Lavender usually sought the company of their mutual friends. Though on occasion she did choose to be alone, usually on days which she went to trauma therapy to try and deal with what she had been through, today was not one of those days.

Today she and Jughead were hanging out in the Jones trailer, reminiscing their childhood together as they had been very close friends. Jughead kept looking at his phone, and Lavender was growing more and more curious as to what he was looking at.

Him and Betty had broken up once more. She didn’t know why but figured it was over something petty and that they’d eventually get back together, as always. After a moment’s hesitation, she decided to ask. “Is it Betty? Is that who keeps texting you?”

His bright blue eyes shot up to meet hers, looking completely caught off-guard. “No. It’s not Betty...Did you ever know Lily Owens?”

She searched her memory for the name however it came up empty, “no. Why?”

“She’s coming back to Riverdale and…” He paused, obviously not knowing what he should say. “Things are about to get very complicated around here. Just do me a favor because I think something is about to happen that is going to be devastating for you.”

Her heart shuddered at the thought. Could she even handle anything else ‘devastating’ in her life. “What’s the favor?” She asked, her voice quiet.

Jughead kept his gaze connected with hers. “Forgive him. Just please, forgive him.”

A/N: Mercy Killing will be getting a sequel, debuting in the next couple weeks after I've finished all the requests I have in my inbox currently. So while this is the last chapter for MK, there will be more in the series! If you waited a full year for me to update like some of you have, then hopefully this will bring you joy after the ending that I just left you with.

To prepare yourself for the sequel, you might want to read Young Gods by @the-gargoyle-queen​ as it will actually be a sequel to that as well! I know Chels is technically writing a sequel (Lose Sight) but we collectively decided on this as an AU in which Sweet Pea and Lily did not end up together.

Tag List: @the-gargoyle-queen​, @steve-harringtonnn​, @xserpentlife​, @somethingdawn​, @salutetomeimurserpentqueen​ If you want to continue to be tagged in the sequel, just let me know!

Enjoy my work? Like, Reblog, Follow, or Leave a Tip!

[chase-the-windandtouch-the-sky]

CONGRATS ON 1K! You’re a gem, your blog is beautiful, your writing is stunning — you deserve 1000 and 1000 more 💞 / ⌨️ please! A Bellarke fic with the prompt competition or rivals to lovers. Thank you 💙

Oh my gosh, my love! I know this is disastrously late, but I love you so much @pawprinterfanfic​! I will admit, it was tricky for the 1K for 1K because I want to write SO MUCH MORE. But I hope this small snippet was enough for you love!

The chain of events goes like this: Bellamy is born. He goes to school. He becomes a history professor. He meets the art professor. He somehow gets wrangled into a prank war that is destroying his life.

He honestly isn’t sure where he went wrong.

“Bro, I honestly can’t hear you talk about the art teacher anymore.” Miller says one night when they meet up at a bar and he’s accidentally spent the last hour going on about how the professor started a mural in his lecture hall. He would never say it’s good – of course not. But he didn’t say it was okay and that was the point. Sure, when she was giving her students permission to show up to his class late, it was one thing. It was another when his office was filled with leftover art from the previous semester. But now? Now she’s crossed a line. “Just get her fired. If she’s defacing university property without permission, you probably would be able to do it pretty easy.”

Bellamy’s taken aback. “Get her fired?” He’s honestly never even considered it before. Even saying it out loud makes him uncomfortable. Sure, he finds her irritating, but getting her fired seems like a step too far. “Why would I do that?”

“I don’t care. I just want out of this conversation.”

“Thanks for the support.” Bellamy grumbles, taking a sip of his beer. “The friendship is overwhelming.”

“Look man, I’ve been listening to you talk about Professor Griffin since you got the job. You are aware you’re a teacher of teenagers, right?”

“She is distracting. Her antics cause actual disruptions in my class! She disrupts my classes, she disrupts my office hours, and disrupts… my conversations.”

“Huh?”

 “Hey Clarke.”

When she walks in, her hair haphazardly thrown in a braid with paint streaked on her cheek, he tells himself she’s not attractive. She’s not, especially not with her Ramones t-shirt tied in a knot at her waist and definitely not with the ripped jean shorts riding low at her waist.

“Oh, okay,” Miller says knowingly. “I get why she’s distracting.”

“What does that mean – hey.”

“Hey there, Professor Blake.” Clarke says with a smirk. “Like my addition last night?”

“How are you even getting into my lecture hall? I lock it every night.” Bellamy grumbles.

“You should be nicer to people. You’d be surprised what they’ll do for you if you use a little kindness.” Clarke leans across the bar, waving at the bartender. “Whiskey, neat, please!” She turns to face them with a smile. “You’d be surprised what a little kindness in general would do.” She crinkles her nose to emphasize her point and Bellamy fails to not find it endearing.

“Hey, I’m Miller.” Miller says with a wave. “I don’t think Bellamy’s actually going to introduce me. I think he’s prefer staring at you.”

Bellamy elbows him in the chest so that he lets out a wheeze. “Sorry, I meant glaring. Glaring at you.”

He puts his head in his hands.

“Clarke,” she responds. “Has he told you I’m the bane of his existence?”

“Many times. But everyone is the bane of his existence.”

“Yeah, but I’m special.” Clarke says, brushing her hair out of her face with a flourish. “It was nice meeting you. I’ll leave you alone so that you can go back to ranting about me. See you on campus.”

“Why are you going out of your way to make my life harder, though?” Bellamy says, standing up. He hates that she’s being charming and hates even more that Miller is standing next to him with that smirk he gets when he’s going to do something stupid. “Why can’t we simply be professionals?”

Clarke’s smile falters. “I am a professional.”

“Really? Is it professional to prank your coworker? Fill their office with art? Release your students late? Paint in their lecture hall?”

Clarke clenches her jaw. Her lighthearted air evaporates and suddenly there’s something burning behind her eyes. Something like a force. “I’ll have you know every single time I’ve released my students late, it’s because something has happened on campus or in the news and they needed a safe space to discuss it.”

“You’re an art teacher—”

“And what is history if not through the art of its people?” Clarke shouts back at him, not backing down. In fact, she gets closer and jabs him in the chest. “And I filled your office with art because we had a bunch that hadn’t been picked up yet, and I already filled my own and the university was going to throw it out. And you were the only person I could think of who wouldn’t throw art away. I picked it up after. What do you think happened, it just magically disappeared?”

“Well, I—”

“And I’m painting a mural in your lecture hall because I overheard that the history department may experience some downsizing due to admission numbers. So I thought it would be cool to make your lecture hall more lively and I heard you liked the Iliad, so I was painting a mural of it in the room to get more people interested.”

A glass is set down next to her and Clarkes and yells, “Thank you!” at the bartender. Her cheeks flush and she shakes her head. “Sorry, thank you.” Picking it up, she sets herself. “I didn’t think I was such an annoyance. I thought that I was helping out a friend, but I’ll stop.”

With that, she turns on her heel and marches to the end of the bar where a group of people wave her over. Bellamy isn’t sure what to say. He stares where she once was, unable to put any words together.

“So…” Miller starts, a laugh hiding in his voice. “That’s Clarke?”

“Yeah, that’s Clarke.”

“Well, I like her.” Miller says, finally not able to refrain from laughing any longer. “Anyone who can go toe-to-toe with you is someone I can get behind.”

Bellamy looks down. “I think I owe her an apology.”

“You think, dumbass?”

***

When Clarke gets to the University, she’s in a horrible mood. She drank too much the night before, her fight with Bellamy clouding her judgment of when to stop. The more she thought about it, the more she understood where he was coming from. From his perspective, she probably was that obnoxious art instructor, who seemed hell-bent on messing with him.

Well, it’s true, but not vindictively.

Opening her office, Clarke rubs her temples and moves to toss her keys on a small table in her office. But she stopped when she can barely get the door open. Squeezing through, she sees her entire office is filled to the brim with old books, barely even space for her to walk through.

She’s way too hungover for this.

Except in the center of the room is a single daisy and a note. Clarke grabs it and can’t stop the smile from stretching across her face.

Clarke,

I thought maybe you could store these books for me. The University was going to donate them, but I think they’re necessary, even though they’re never checked out. I figure since you’ve used my office, you’d understand.

-- Bellamy

P.S. I have some thoughts for the Iliad mural if you’re open for suggestions. Coffee?

[randomnameless]

Thinking about Uncle Birdie

Macuil is the misanthropic one who hates the descendants of the 10 Elites and doesn’t give any figs about humans - you have to rekt him to “steal” his weapon, and afterwards he sleeps.

(compare with Indech - he’d rather “prank young humans” but gives them weapons if he deems them worthy enough - sadly his pranks/trial involve  realistic ghosts who can kill “those silly young humans”)

Macuil seems to be the “weakest” of the two uncles we meet, as in, he is the only one the party rekts hard enough to need to sleep (i doubt he’d be faking it) when Indech, per Seteth’s convo, lost much of his power but is still going easy on Leonie’n’pals.

But both seem to be weaker than Rhea when she transforms (granted she’s a boss fight in 50% of the routes); is it because they don’t assume their human forms anymore?

Seteth isn’t surprised to see them under their beast forms, but says that he thought Rhea couldn’t turn anymore and never saw her berserk!form.

which is again to say that the final fight in SS doesn’t make any sense unless Rhea was tampered with during those five years - Birdie has a lot of pent up rage but doesn’t end up berserk + Macuil and Indech spend all of their time in their beast forms

Bar his stats, Uncle Birdie is the only named Reptile not to have blood bonded with a random, as a result no one has his crest (or maybe someone did? Claude recognises the crest of Macuil on his forehead, so he must have seen it somewhere, unless Saint Macuil used his crest as his own personal banner/signature like Seiros does).

Meaning that Macuil really doesn’t like humans, which is weird because I keep on seeing his sister being thrown under a bus for the very same reason when she is the first (?) one who gave her blood to a human to assist her on her Nemesis purging quest, but from the way Rhea talks about Wilhelm I "he supported me” they shared commong goals, the reason why she’s a bit saddened when fighting Edel.

But even if Macuil really doesn’t like humans, he doesn’t rampage around to kill them by dozens every saturday evening.

He wants to live as a recluse, saying he abandoned humans and their wars / world a long time ago - so much that he doesn’t even want to join Seteth’n’co in their “free Rhea” quest.

He’d rather chill in Sreng, roar at humans who try to steal his treasures and be just, there for the rest of his long long days than to join Rhea, Seteth and his niece (the only person he seems fond of) in Garreg Mach or even join uncle Turtle in the lake Teutates.

So back to a certain someone claiming that humans don’t need gods anymore - what are those gods supposed to do now? Live in exile in a desert - ruminating about the bad ol’days and having a grudge on the children of the children of the children etc of the 10 Elites - or live in a Lake to get a good laugh at a blood bath when “foolish young humans” try to get a shiny brave bow?

They can’t live with humans ; maybe it’s because he reached that conclusion that Uncle Birdie doesn’t want to have anything to do with them.

well he’s disgusted with human and remember who is living at the Sreng Border? The Gautiers. Uncle Birdie saw Sylvain, heard him for 20 seconds and deemed humanity disgusting. GG Sylvain.

Seiros tried to build an organisation where she could live with them, good for her, but when she’s betrayed (because they will, they’re humans and Uncle Birdie is very resentful) he’s just “well i told her not to get involved but she did so fig her”. I guess he isn’t fond of Rhea anymore.

He acknowledges Seteth’s human companions but explicitely tells him that he will not assist him ; is it because Seteth hangs out with humans or because he can’t give a fig about Rhea anymore?

if seteth came to him claiming that flayn disappeared, would Macuil have tried to find her? On one hand, he seems fond of her, on the other hand, she disappeared because she was associated with humans so it’s kind of her fault - bird logic but hey you can’t ask for more

Funny thing though, when Rhea burns babies in CW, she does so to hamper Billy’s army’s movement. Which is an unethical strategy, but it ultimately worked. And then I remember that Macuil was Seiros’ tactician, maybe Rhea saw her bro do the same thing “back in the day” and thought about how effective it was? Macuil wouldn’t balk at a few burnt human - Rhea doesn’t by the end of CW.

It irks me to have all of those thoughts about the Reptiles, because we’re not supposed to care about them anymore, and yet they’re here and you can’t really ignore them.

Turnip point though : I discussed with @ohmistakeshiny about how odd it was to have the Indech paralogue available in CW where we try to paint the reptiles as “eww dragons!” which is apparently a reason enough to justify a continental war,  you have this turtle who gives you a bow and isn’t hell bent on world domination!

If Edel saw Indech, she’d have called her nuncle and told him about another relic material or would she have killed him herself? Or what?

And yet, the one who could be qualified as an enemy of humankind only appears in Claude’s route (meh). Is it becaues Macuil could have called her an idiot about what she knows of the 10 Elites and her “Nemesis wasn’t a brigand!” propaganda? or he would have had a good laugh at Rhea - look you trusted that Wilhem human and who is after your head? Wilhem himself!

it’s again the game making sure that Edel can’t be proved wrong in her route or can’t be brought to actually think and act with all of the necessary knowledge - imo, an Edel who stops and thinks 10 minutes about the world, what she’s doing, the Reptiles and Uncle Arry would have been a bajillion times more interesting as a character than the Edel we have in CW!

[lil-purplebird]

Monster Island Buddies: Episode Fan Fiction

Fandom: Godzilla (Monster Island Buddies)

Rating: M

Genre: Parody/Humor

Words: 7,295

Summary: "Werehuman". A self-explanatory legend and an existential crisis. Maybe. Adult language, not for children.

Notes: Rawwrrrr!

So this is just something silly I thought up of out of nowhere and it wouldn't leave for a few days. Figured this would fit better as a “Monster Island Buddies” fic than just a normal Godzilla parody. Yes, I'm insane enough to make an MiB fic, but I know I'm not the only one. To borrow from Destoroyah: “Fuck you.” (Not really, love you guys. But this fic is more-or-less in response to wondering if I'd make more kaiju fics, of which I'mmmmm not telling, but this is still something, I guess. Apparently this takes place before "Destroy All Godzillas".)

Ha ha, well, hope you'll enjoy! I tried.

Can also be read here.

For lunchtime at the bar, Godzilla and some of his buddies were chilling with a game of monster pool. It was called such as the billiard balls were about as big as them all, and they had to be split into teams of three to even carry the cue stick. Stupid in practice, but everything's a great idea in one's drunken state of mind, and they would've declined if Gorosaurus was the one who suggested it and not Gamera.

"Oh, my God, you guys, we're in a tag team!" Gigan exclaimed happily behind Megalon, who in turn was behind Varan. "We're gonna win together as a team! You guys? Am I right? Teamwork rules!"

"How did I get stuck with Gigan, again?" Megalon grumbled.

"Shouldn't I, like, be the one to say that instead?" Varan muttered back.

"Kick my brah's ass, Var!" Biollante cheered from the sidelines.

It was a rare sight to see the couple at the bar, but SpaceGodzilla just had to say something about celebrating their group's founding anniversary with drinks and a bottomless buffalo wings basket or something. Oh, and a friendly battle or competition where the winner (or in this case, the winning team) was going to get free tickets to a concert, and Varan got excited.

Godzilla, Jet Jaguar, and Gamera were in another team chalking up their cue tip waiting for Gorosaurus' team (consisting of him, Baragon in front, and Gabara in the back, who butted in because he had overheard about the tickets) to do the break shot. The robot hemmed to himself, "Why're we believing SpaceGodzilla has concert tickets, again?"

"I don't, but I need to get out more," Godzilla said. "I don't know how you guys can live with me if I can barely stand living with myself most days."

"Yeah, see if I'll take you back under my wing again," Gamera wryly recalled.

Mumbling under his breath, Baragon was taking care to calculate his aim, but Gabara was growing impatient. "Jussth hit the ball!" he shouted, trying to take control of the cue stick.

"I want to get at least two balls in!" the burgundy monster stated, fighting back.

"You guys, we have to work together!" Gorosaurus interjected as group leader.

"Givth me the shtick! Hyouuungh!" Gabara brayed.

"No! It needs to be precise!"

Enough force was put into the tug-of-war that the cue ball was hit, but it scarcely scraped by the nine-ball rack and rolled into the left side pocket. Some of the onlookers hooted at the sight. "Look what happened!" the dinosaur moaned.

"Alright, guess it's up to us to break it!" Godzilla said excitedly, already in place up front while SpaceGodzilla fished out the ball.

"Godzilla, let me be the frontman," Gamera suggested. "Or, I don't know, let me angle the cue stick for you."

"You're in the back, though," he pointed out. "That's what you are supposed to do."

"Maybe I should shoot," Jet said. "I already have the trajectory calculated."

He barely finished his sentence when Godzilla impulsively hit the ball the moment it was set down in front of him, and the rack cleanly broke. The eight-ball was one of the outside balls and halted close to a pocket, but then a ricocheted striped ball hit it in. "Ooh, tough luck!" SpaceGodzilla tsked, smirking at his half-brother's misfortune.

"Ooh, fizzlesticks!" the robot hissed.

"Wait, we're out of the game already?" the bipedal turtle gasped. "Godzilla, did you even aim?!"

The king of the monsters belched. "Oh, sorry, I guess I stumbled there."

"Why're you such a klutz?!"

Gigan hopped in place. "Oh, my God, did we win, you guys? We won, right? Hooray for teamwork!"

"Dudes, it worked!" Varan said in awe, letting out a breathy laugh. "Rubbing my lucky rabbit's foot worked!"

Megalon did a brief double-take. "So is that what happened to the Easter bunny?"

As Varan and Biollante had a victory make-out, Gamera gruffly sighed and threw down his end of the cue stick. Godzilla shrugged it off. "Well, that was fun, I guess. Too bad Rody missed out."

"Are you blaming this loss on me?" Gamera growled, feeling a buzzing headache coming on.

"It's not because of you, man. Now if it was Rodan in your place, one flap of his wings would've broken formation."

"Rodan would've suggested beer pong in your place," Jet said. "No offense, Gamera, monster pool just isn't working out for us."

"It was a brilliant idea! You just don't have the artistic vision to see it!" The monster turtle belched and groaned. "Ugh, I'm getting too worked up. I need to get home and lie down for a bit, maybe cry myself to sleep."

Godzilla almost rolled his eyes. "A one-time fluke doesn't mean it's a horrible idea, Gamera. Maybe it just depends on the team."

Gamera scoffed. "Yeah, guess you're right. So that means you're out of the team, Godzilla."

He threw his hands up. "What?! Why me?!"

"Guys, calm down," Jet tried to pacify, stepping in between them. "There's no need to fight over monster billiards."

"Oh, but there's plenty of things to fight over," Gamera sneered, still not breaking eye-contact.

"Oh, oh, you're going to bring up our college days now?" Godzilla bellowed. "Look, man, if this is about the time-jumping thing, there wasn't room in the machine for all of us!"

"I still got a sweet acting career out of it. But actually, there was one thing about those days I still haven't forgiven you for, and that was the werehuman prank!"

Jet Jaguar looked between them with disbelief. "What's this about a 'werehuman'?"

Godzilla scratched his snout, aimlessly staring at the ceiling. "Uh... can you refresh my memory? I think the coke binge might've warped it into something else. But I have this strange feeling like I've met a wolf man before."

"No, not that Wolf Man," Gamera huffed.

"What, do you have something again Lon Chaney?"

"No, you're just an idiot."

"Guys, what's a 'werehuman'?" Jet tried to ask, but he was ignored as the turtle scoffed.

"You want to know why you never saw my mom anymore after that party? She got paranoid and had to flee the planet so she wouldn't look at another human ever again!"

"Oh, I thought your mom died. I just didn't want to ask because she just seemed so old, and you didn't talk about her much."

"Being in your two-hundreds isn't old, you prick!"

"That just means she wasn't hot."

"Hey, you guys, can you keep it down?" Gorosaurus came in. "You're triggering an early hangover."

While the two continued to argue and insult each other, Jet Jaguar went over to the dinosaur. "Gorosaurus, what's a 'werehuman'?"

He turned to him in surprise. "You've never heard of it? It's a famous monster legend around these parts."

"Really? I've been here for over forty years, and I've never heard of it."

"You've heard of the werewolf, right?"

Jet quickly went through his archives. "It's a half-wolf, half-man, right?"

"No, it's—"

Baragon interrupted, shaking his head, "No, no, no, the Wolf Man is a completely fictional character by Hollywood. But the werewolf is believed to originate from the Mesopotamian story 'The Epic of Gilgamesh', and was adopted and tweaked a little in European folklore."

"Hey, I was getting to that," Gorosaurus complained.

"So what's a werewolf?" Jet wondered.

"A werewolf is a man who shape-shifts into a wolf during the full moon," the actor explained. "It's like a curse, which can be broken with a silver bullet, or by eating wolfsbane. You also turn into a werewolf if you're bitten by another werewolf, but you have to kill that werewolf to lift the curse. Or is that a vampire?"

"Like a zombie!" Gorosaurus added.

"Ohh, so a werehuman is a man turning into a human?" Jet Jaguar paused, then realized what he said when he glanced over at other patrons in the background. "Wait, dammit!"

Baragon laughed quietly. "No, a werehuman is a monster that transforms into a human at sunrise."

"Why sunrise?"

"The cursed monster has to work a nine-to-five office job."

Jet stared, cast his eyes over at Godzilla and Gamera who were still fighting and it was getting more heated, glanced at the bartender, and then looked back at the reptiles before him. "That's it?" When they nodded, he shrugged. "Well, uh... how do you break the werehuman curse?"

"You can't," they said in unison.

"Not even a silver bullet to the heart?"

"I never said you have to shoot a werewolf in the heart to break the curse," Baragon corrected. "But no, not even with silver bullets. All you can do is infect other monsters until you die from overworking yourself."

"My mommy told me once you had to become a vegan," Gorosaurus spoke up. "Monsters don't eat their greens and never will, so they just overwork themselves to death instead."

"Uh... Mothra eats her greens," Jet pointed out. "Cotton sweaters count, right?"

The dinosaur slowly gasped. "Maybe she was the werehuman of legend!"

"But that's all it is—a legend," the robot stressed.

"Do you see other herbivores on a regular basis?" Baragon asserted.

Jet paused. "Okay, you got me there. So... how do you become a werehuman?"

"A human bites you."

His head jerked back in shock. "That's it? Just a human?"

He leaned in menacingly, shadows splitting across his face. "Did you know that human mouths are pretty disgusting?"

"But... you said werehumans infect other monsters, too."

"Yeah, they do. But patient zero always gets bitten by a human first."

Some silence passed between them before Baragon started laughing. Gorosaurus joined in a moment later, and Jet managed to let out a nervous chuckle before backing away. Then in mid-laughter, the subterranean reptile turned to his companion. "Hold on, you said 'mommy', didn't you?"

Returning to Godzilla, the robot noticed Gamera had left. "Hey, Godzilla, what's the matter?"

The kaiju looked like the alcohol was finally getting to him, he had a more fatigued expression on his face and he was swaying a bit. "Man, Gamera's such a fucking sore loser. He blames everything else but himself."

"Uh..."

He hiccuped. "Anyway, when he's better, I'll talk to him. I didn't know that about his mom, so it's no wonder he's got abandonment issues."

"...Yeah..."

"So what was it you wanted to know about our werehuman prank, Jet?"

Jet shook his head. "Oh, never mind. I had too much to drink. Think I'm going to go home, maybe go see Hedorah."

"Okay, bud, see you later," Godzilla said, but the robot had turned his back and left the bar. He frowned, then realized he was being footed the bill. "Oh, goddamn it, Jet!"

Soon after with an emptier wallet, he was on his way back home and walked solemnly past some human crowds, but his thoughts remained back at their fight. He really couldn't remember much about that party, their whole college days was full of weed, alcohol, and casual sex that everything blurred together. But he did meet Gamera's mother once when she had visited for some celebration, he recalled simultaneously chuckling at and being grossed out over her many sags, realizing that was what his roommate was going to look like in a hundred-plus years. He had taken a hit with a bong or something before everyone came over, and he had a feeling some human was somewhere in the crowd.

Not that he hated humans, but it was someone he didn't particularly like, so he had wanted to "frame" the human as well as lighten the mood. So he slipped through into the kitchen area where Gamera's mother was fetching some more snacks (or was making sweets), jumped on her back, said articulately, "Nothing personnel, MILF," and then bit her neck. When Gamera came running in screaming "What the hell are you doing?!", he had answered, "I can't fight my werehuman instincts any longer!" then howled at nothing in particular and ran out of the dorm to terrorize the campus.

Godzilla paused to stare at some graffiti as he reminisced. "...Huh. Just how fucking stoned was I to think she was a MILF?"

Suddenly, he felt teeth sink into his tail, although not by much so it didn't hurt, but it stung. He looked behind him to see a human gnawing on his tail as if it was a corn on the cob, looking like his mind had just snapped. He was not even a hobo like one would think, he had on a suit and tie and his briefcase contents were spilled everywhere.

"Well I'll be damned. I didn't know I could feel that."

And then it hit him—the briefcase did, but so did the situation.

*~*~*

In their living room, Rodan and Mothra were having their afternoon romp. The moth kaiju was somewhat chewing on the pillow while her husband pounded her from behind, trying hard not to set the sofa on fire (again) since burnt leather is a huge turn-off. Also it's embarrassing to confess to the fire department about how it happened, and he didn't want to be featured on "Sex Sent Me to the ER".

"Here comes Rodaaaan, giant peeenilesaurrrr! Here comes Rodaaaan, deep in Mooothra's corrrre..."

And of course Rodan's growling out his theme song, somewhat, being in the heat of the moment.

"Maharaaa—ah! Mahara Mosuraaa—nn!"

Oh, shit, both of them got it in their heads to climax along with their theme songs. And thankfully, the doorbell started ringing wildly before the awkwardness could seep in further.

"Goddamn it, why now?!" Rodan grunted, flailing his wings about.

Sighing to herself, Mothra got up and apologetically nuzzled her husband. "I'll get it. It'll be less embarrassing."

Rodan stared before glancing down as she flew over to open the door. The sight of Godzilla standing there in a nervous sweat took her by surprise. "Oh, my, you don't look so good."

"Mothra, Rody, you gotta help me!" he said, slightly panting. "You guys are the only ones I can turn to!"

The pterosaur came up from behind his wife with his trademark pissed off glare. "Can't this wait? The sex was just getting good."

"Rody, please, after I got in a fight with Gamera at the bar, a human bit me on the tail, I almost lost my voice screaming and running around, and now I'm going to turn into a werehuman and have to go work in a cubicle for the rest of my life!"

The couple slowly looked at each other in befuddlement before facing their friend again. "What the fuck, Godzilla? Did you get back on drugs?" Rodan asked, exasperated his sexy times with Mothra was interrupted by a drug-fueled fit.

"I couldn't make this up even on crack! Please, you gotta help me!"

"What about MechaGodzilla?" Mothra suggested, though she sounded a little unsure.

"That's why I'm so worn out, I just came from there! I've never seen it look so empty before! Does this need a quick flashback, too?"

"Why're you bragging about coming when you interrupted me coming?" Rodan snapped out, getting antsy.

"Give it a minute, Rodan," Mothra said in aside.

"That's what you said the last time!"

Ignoring him, she then made another indication to Godzilla, "How about Jet?"

"I can't find him anywhere, either, I thought he went home!" Godzilla whined, head in his hands. "I don't know, I'm just freaking out and I don't know what to do!"

Her heart going out to her distressed friend, she patted him on the arm in comfort. "Well, come inside and we'll figure things out. But wipe off your feet and that human, first."

They turned to the man still clinging to the lizard's tail, though he was looking stiff and there was blood around his mouth and shirt.

"He's dead!" Godzilla gasped. "Oh, my God, the rabies must've gotten to him!"

"More like cancer from how cancerous this whole situation is," Rodan huffed.

"Rabies?" Mothra echoed. "Are you sure it's rabies?"

"Well why else do humans bite unprovoked?" Godzilla said with a shrug.

"Then why the hell are you going on about 'werehuman' shit?!" Rodan shouted, starting to flip out as well.

After peeking around the corner with a head, their son, King Ghidorah, slinked into the living room. "Oh, you finished having intercourse with each other?" the three heads gave a relived sigh in unison.

"No, your mother just got distracted," the pterosaur insisted, shooting a leer at Godzilla who gave him an odd look as well.

"Well, uh... I need to make lunch now or my blood sugar level's going to drop. The General offered to get lunch, but he's gonna be out a bit longer. So... can you make it quick?"

"Can't you guys do it in the privacy of your own bedroom?" the lizard wondered.

"The living room's the farthest from his room, and General has cameras installed in the basement," was Rodan's claim. "Ghidorah psychic links and public indecency laws have been sucking all of the fun out of it. Mothra's been liking the attention, though."

Mothra giggled a little. "Oh, it's not like that."

Face faulting in horror, Godzilla gestured at the furniture. "...But... everyone sits on that couch."

"But the bedroom's a good idea, Godzilla," she suddenly said a little hurriedly. "Most of my things are up there anyway, so let's get you looked at."

"Oh, Mother, Father, please don't," their son cried. "You're already copulating thrice a day, don't add more to it."

Rodan put his wing around his necks. "Son, worry not about what your mother and I do. Where do you get these crazy ideas from, anyway? I knew getting you that computer was a bad idea!"

"I was the one who built it, Father," King Ghidorah informed.

"I don't care if it was Charles Babbage’s brain, show me your search history! My son's not going to grow up to be NTR'd!"

"Rodan, are you coming or not?" Mothra asked firmly.

Rodan swung around eagerly. "I thought you'd never ask, sweetheart!"

"Not that."

He roared in frustration. "Your timing fucking sucks, Godzilla!"

Entering the bedroom, Godzilla took in the numerous candles, cushions, trinkets, some statues, and other new age stuff he never understood. His eyes fell upon an odd drawing of a moth silhouette surrounded by seven statements (as written in kanji). A green checkmark was inked next to "Three Dragons".

"Hey, what you got here?" he inquired, following a line downward.

Mothra quickly shooed him away toward the circle of cushions and kicked the poster behind a bureau. "Okay, Godzilla, slowly lower the body."

He had to shake the corpse off of his tail, and the three of them stared down at the man's blissful blood-smeared face. "So why did this human bite you just to die?" Rodan questioned suspiciously.

"I don't know, I was just trudging home from the bar, and suddenly I felt something nibbling on me," he relayed his story. "The guy looked like he just dropped everything for a bite, and he wouldn't let go like he superglued his teeth on me or something."

"How long ago was this?" Mothra asked. "He hasn't been dead for even an hour."

"Thirty minutes, I think?"

"If this was a hobo, you wouldn't have come interrupt us because you'd be dead from rabies," Rodan said gruffly.

Godzilla snorted. "Mothra, does the guy have rabies, or no?"

Studying what little life force there was from the body, she shook her head. "No, this guy was just... normal."

"Biting a monster's tail is not normal!" he declared, starting to freak out again. "This normal guy had himself a normal job someplace and he did an abnormal thing!"

"So is that why you think you're turning into a werehuman?"

"Yeah, funny that Gamera brought that up just minutes before my tail became this guy's lunch!"

"A prophet tells prophetic things. Shocker," Rodan sarcastically said.

Humming to herself, Mothra's antennae drooped. "Well, uh... I don't know what else to say, Godzilla. This is new to me."

"Why couldn't it have been Kong or Gorosaurus who got their tails gnawed on instead?" the king of the monsters sniveled. "I don't have the experience to do paperwork, and I'm too much of a klutz for coffee runs!"

"Are you done yet?" Rodan grunted. "My balls have been aching for release since you got here."

"Rody, you're my best friend, you know that?" Godzilla whimpered. "Can you take one for the team and let me do a test bite on you?"

"Fuck off, Godzilla!"

"Please? Just a nibble?"

Mothra stepped in between them. "Godzilla, I suggest you go home. Spend the rest of this time with Minilla and the others."

He paused, thinking back to his household who were none-the-wiser of his predicament. "Yeah... I suppose you're right. How much time do I have left as me?"

"Not short enough," the pteranodon growled. "We're already ten pages into this crap."

Godzilla solemnly stared down at his feet, unsure what to think of his situation. This was a fate worse than death, he was starting to realize why a lot of humans were so miserable all the time, and he hadn't even begun transforming. His stomach churned, and he groaned in anguish.

Mothra patted his shoulder with a wing. "Hey, cheer up. You're only a human during the day. You can come visit us when the sun goes down."

"But eleven-fifty-five is off-limits!" Rodan warned. "It's the only time where I get to hump Mothra well into the next day to feel better about my sexual prowess!"

"You only last for five minutes?" Godzilla asked.

"Goddamn it, Godzilla, let me have this!"

"Hold that thought," he said, and the nausea caught up to him.

*~*~*

Having already been out visiting Anguirus for the day and happened to be passing by, Minilla helped his depressed and sick father back home, feeling the weight of the news bearing down on him. Godzilla had been crying and whimpering to himself about his predicament, and he didn't know what to do to console him. That was the thing about being the Chosen One, you're only prepared for one destiny, the others just sneak up on you.

"Hey, Dad, if it means anything to you, you can become like an ambassador for Monster Island," he finally made a suggestion, trying to remain optimistic. "If it'll keep less missiles from being launched our way, this sacrifice will not be in vain."

Godzilla was still sobbing to himself. "I'm going to look like an uglier Kong, but bald!"

"Is that what you're most bothered about?" his son sighed.

"And even if I do get a human girlfriend, the sex is just not going to be the same. Once you go kaiju, you can't just downsize!"

"Dad, stay focused, please."

He sniffed some mucus back up his nose. "Maybe I'll still be able to grow a beard and join a motorcycle gang, or something to stave off my loneliness."

"This is getting serious. Dad's reaching the acceptance phase fast." Minilla frowned to himself. "Actually, why wouldn't that be a good thing?"

Upon reaching their home, they could see Titanosaurus was standing conspicuously on their lawn and staring into the window. "Oh, damn it," the Chosen One hissed. "Where're the others?"

"Oh, Titanosaurus, did you need something?" Godzilla called, temporarily putting aside his grief.

The dinosaur giggled as he turned away from the window. "Hohohoho! You talkin' to me, Fuzzy Lumpkins? Hohohoho!"

"Well, yeah. Just want to know why you're here at my house. You're crushing my azaleas."

"Stick your gangrened mojo up your powder puff, princess! You're in for a rowdy rough ride! Hohohoho! Hohohoho!" He began river dancing on the lawn, and they had to avoid his swinging tail.

"Just get inside, Dad. We need to let the other Godzillas know about this."

Walking into the living room, they noticed the group had a movie on, popcorn, chips and other junk food littered the area, and the TV's screen looked like it was set on its highest bright setting. "Hey, guys, can you pause the movie?" Minilla asked just to get his face sprayed with crumbs by a shushing Orga.

"See, this is why you can't enjoy a good movie anymore!" he grumbled. "Jackasses are always interrupting your viewing everywhere you go!"

"Orga, you've been coming over uninvited to watch a movie for weeks now!" Godzilla groaned.

"My cable provider hasn't gotten back to me yet, and I need it to make my Orga Reviews so I can pay the bills! Fucking asshole."

"Crash over at Rodan's place, then!"

He chortled. "Dude, have you seen their couch? And I'm not the one who broke it this time!"

All of the alternate Godzilla versions shushed them. "Ugh, why do we always get interrupted by jackasses at the best parts?" the stout lighter-gray Godzilla growled.

Godzilla Earth lumbered into the living room to announce in his booming gravelly voice, "WELL, WE RAN OUT OF THEM LEMONY-SCENTED GOODNESS WIPES AGAIN. DID I MISS ANY BOOBIES ON THE CABLE?"

Minilla snatched the remote to pause the film, ignoring the protests from the others. "Guys, my dad has something important to say."

"Unless he won a million-billion dollars, forget it," Alternate Future Godzilla scoffed.

Godzilla stepped forward, now somber once again. "Everyone, this might be the last time to be me as I am now."

They silently gave him weird looks.

"I know this is hard to believe, but... I'm a werehuman."

"Nothing shocks us anymore," the tiny Godzilla said. Orga almost choked on a chip laughing.

"I was bitten by a human this afternoon, and that means I'm going to be a human by the morning. I'll still come around when it's nighttime, but I'm not going to be head of the household much anymore if I can't be king of the monsters." He turned to his son. "So Minilla, my boy... I'm giving you the keys to the castle. It's been a long time coming, but you deserve it, my son."

Although he was certain the "werehuman" wasn't what it seemed to be, he couldn't help hanging his head in reverence. "Dad, I'm honored..."

"OHHH BOY, I CAN FINALLY HAVE MYSELF A 'M.A.S.H.' MARATHON BUDDY TO WATCH WITH!" Earth exclaimed happily, his jagged smile crinkling his eyes. "YOU BEST NOT FORGET, YOU HEAR?"

"I call your room," Future Godzilla said, raising his hand.

"Damn it, I wanted his room!" Big Daddy G roared.

"Should've called faster."

"Guys, I'm not relinquishing the house just yet!" Godzilla insisted. "I'm still going to be living here until I can find myself a human apartment!"

"Uh... yeah, I knew that. But I'm still going to call it."

Turning to Little Godzilla and Baby Godzilla who were sleepy on their feet, the king of the monsters spread his arms out for a hug. "Come here, kids. I just need to tell you I'm proud of you, and wish you well as you grow up."

The babies stared at him, then babbled something about him smelling like beer and incense.

"So Godzilla Prime, what're you going to do for the rest of your kaiju day?" another Godzilla asked, orange eyes narrowing like he wasn't taking the news seriously.

Thinking back to whatever bucket list he may have had in mind, he hemmed and folded his arms a bit. "Really good question. Let me think about it after lunch. Also get the fuck out of my house, Orga," he added to the alien.

"Alright, alright, sheesh," he huffed, stepping outside only to get tackled by Titanosaurus.

Everyone gathered around the table as he munched on an egg salad sandwich and sucked down some cola. Minilla was cooking up another egg for his father and himself, inwardly consulting with the Hand for guidance while also thanking the Hand for handling the skillet in his place. As Godzilla Prime counted his alternate selves surrounding him in his head, a thought struck him like a lightning bolt out of the blue.

"Hey, Minilla, do you remember what I did with the bible audiobook?" he wondered as he finished his drink.

He turned away from the stove. "What's this sudden interest in the human concept of religion, Dad?"

"If I'm going to be a werehuman, I figured I might as well pretend I know what I'm talking about when debating around the water cooler. Also Larry King just soothes the eardrums just right. I think that's part of what comes with the Jewish package, kinda like how King Ghidorah used to speak."

Minilla wanted to roll his eyes to the ceiling as his father scarfed down the rest of his food. "Yeah, you're going to fit right in with the humans."

"DID SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE CHEWS?" Godzilla Earth queried, his hearing failing him again.

"No, it's Jews," Big Daddy G corrected.

"WOAHHH, YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL ABOUT THEM CHEWS. ONE TIME, I WOKE UP WITH A MOUTH SORE BECAUSE I SLEPT WITH MY MAW OPEN, AND THOSE DAMN PESTS CRAWLED INSIDE TO NEST BETWEEN MY GUMS."

"Actually, I'm going to check to see if it's on Audible." Godzilla fished out an iPod for a look.

"If you're so sure about it, Dad, I can check storage for you," his son offered.

"That's okay, better safe than sorry. Ah, here it is—ohhhh man, it's the big James E. Jones! Now that's a real king! Is it free?" He did a quick scan and then tossed down the iPod. "Forty bucks?! Goddamn it, I might as well just read the actual book, and I don't have the time nor ability to read and do stuff all at once!"

With a sigh, Minilla went to go scour the boxes for any trace of the audiobook. It wasn't that he didn't care what his father would do, but he didn't feel it was going to do or change anything. Besides, he felt like he saw something like this on TV and it felt like a cheap, quick gimmick to avoid actual conflict.

When he found the box with the CDs still unopened inside, he wondered what was even the point, and secretly hoped the CD player was unplayable so his father could actually get off his tail and do something—

"Oh, you found it, son?" Godzilla said from behind, looking over his shoulder. "Wow, I completely forgot about this—oh, hey, that's the same one I was looking at on Audible! Oh sweet, you saved me forty bucks, Minilla!"

He hesitantly handed them over. "Yeah... you're welcome, Dad."

Godzilla put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, boy. I'm still going to be around, even if I'm an ugly hairless ape."

He harumphed to himself, smirking slightly. "You sure change your mind pretty quick."

"Well, you got to keep an open mind, you know. Okay, how do you work this thing, again?"

Getting it strapped (somehow) on his waist and the headphones plugged into the jack, he snapped on the first disc. "I'm heading out."

"Where to, Dad?"

"I've got things to do, places to go, people to see. All that jazz. Byeeeee!" He left the house, leaving Minilla to stare forlornly after him at the window.

"Finally, we can start where we left off!" Future Godzilla sighed, plopped back down on the couch. "Minilla, can you make some more popcorn for us?"

*~*~*

Godzilla lost himself to the sultry, booming voice of James Earl Jones' narration (he'll have to play catch up on the Old Testament some other time), letting the words flow through him as he traveled the land. He never took off his headset when he tried new foods, explored a new cave or lakeside, attempted bungee jumping, even when stopping to have a chat with other kaijus, nodding along in all the right places and saying the right things while his thoughts remained on the narrator. Something-something about parables and healing of the sick, but it was like Mufasa was there in the clouds telling him all of this. It was quite heavenly and took his mind off of the throb in his tail from where the human had bit him. It was more annoying having to change the discs because it took him out of cloud nine, and apparently Minilla had the proper foresight to have snuck him some extra batteries, but that was all the motivation he needed to keep going well into the night.

Luckily, in the middle of Paul's epistles (he liked how James would say "Paul"), he made it back home in time for everyone to be in bed for him to not be bothered, and he snuck by Godzilla Earth snoozing in front of the TV to sit in front of a window that faced east. He wanted to be able to have the morning sun rest on him as he lounged in a chair, and make himself comfortable for the transformation. It shouldn't hurt, for all he knew, should be over in a "twinkling of the eye" as the good book said through the voice of Darth Vader. Something about eye twinkles was romantic and peaceful enough to yield to his fate.

Being a human shouldn't be all that bad, he reiterated tiredly to himself for what had to be the umpteenth time that day. You're only like an office slave for only eight hours. That's not too bad. You have sixteen other hours of the day to just be yourself. Just have to grin and bear it, and I'm pretty good at grinning, if I must say so myself. Yeah, shouldn't be all that different from what I do now. Probably have to cut back on my alcohol intake. Humans can't handle the same alcohol we can. Should start trying out this wine, I guess. All this talk about wine's been making me thirsty.

Godzilla tried to wriggle out of his chair to go get himself a glass of whatever, but his muscles were protesting too much, and he went limp. Oh well, that can wait. Man, I hope the others don't freak out when they see me, if they can still recognize me.

The deep voice rumbled in his ears, "'Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.'"

"Yeah, you tell 'em, Mr. Jones," Godzilla mumbled through a yawn. "You tell 'em..." And he dozed off right as this Peter part of the audiotape began at the three o'clock hour.

*~*~*

The babies were the first to get up and climb out of their cribs. They typically always were the first to greet the new day, it was the only time where they were free to do what they pleased before the grown-ups came to stop them. They put their all into their adventures.

As they waddled out into the living room where the TV was still blasting an informercial in front of a sleeping Earth, they went to enter the kitchen when they noticed a familiar shadow cast across the floor. "Daddy?" Baby Godzilla mumbled, and they looked at the silhouette facing the window. The sun was coming up, and the kaiju was immobile in the chair, arms hung down at his sides. The spindly rays looked like a halo about him, feathering his outlines.

They stared for a bit longer, unsure when their father had come back and what he was doing staring directly into the light, but they decided to let him be. Gesturing to each other, they left the room to go back upstairs. They can play some games up in their room, or find a way to climb out of their window.

It wasn't for another hour before Minilla got out of his room. As his father wasn't in his bedroom, he was hesitant to go downstairs to see what had become of him. A part of him was still unsure if the werehuman was even real to begin with, but Godzilla had looked too serious to have been pulling his leg. He figured before he'd search for him that he'd wait for his visitor to arrive.

Quietly so as to not disturb Godzilla Earth, he stepped out onto the porch in time to see Gamera and Anguirus making their way up the cobbled path. "Thank Blundergosh you're here," he said in a whisper.

"For the record, I'm just here to witness it with my own two eyes," the turtle said a little gruffly. "This is a touchy subject for me, but I think Godzilla would appreciate my being here."

"He's going to need all the support he can get," Anguirus said, a little melancholic. "Like the Hand, we must reach out to him in his time of need."

"So is he here?"

Minilla cricked his neck a little. "I think so, but I just got out myself. Everyone's still in their rooms, so..."

"Let's search around the premises first," the dinosaur suggested. "He may be too ashamed to show his face but still wants to be in the comfort of his home."

"You should go in front of me so I don't punch his face when I see him," Gamera said, flexing his jaw. "I'm sorry, this is just pissing me off."

Putting his paw on his arm, Anguirus gave a nod and started off for the yard. Carefully on tiptoe, they followed and looked around where they think a radioactive lizard—or a human—would hide in. They ruled out underneath the house for the time being, that was to be the last hiding place to check if they can't find him anywhere else. Glancing in the kitchen windows, Minilla was surprised to find it empty, since usually the babies were in there in the mornings.

"First clue: He's here, or has been here," he announced to his companions.

"Alright, keep searching," Anguirus said, still going on ahead. "Can't peek inside the windows for the life of me..."

Shielding their eyes from the sunlight, they turned to the window and through the glare saw a chair was in front of it, and it was occupied. Cupping their hands to their eyes, Minilla and Gamera peeked in, and the actor thought he could hear a molar crack from gritting his teeth to silence a snarl.

Snoring in the chair, head lolled back and drool on his chin, Godzilla was in a deep sleep, scales and all. The headphones had slipped and looked bent from the angle, but only the Chosen One noted that detail he had that audiobook on all night. Maybe it was a source of comfort for him, but he looked way too relaxed for someone who was absolutely certain he was a werehuman.

"Well? What do you see?" Anguirus asked, looking back-and-forth between them.

"False alarm," Minilla decided to say, sounding a little relieved.

"No it fucking isn't!" Gamera shouted, startling the two of them. "The jackass took it too far!"

"Is he in there, or...?"

"That piece of shit believed in his own lies, and he has the gall to sleep like a slob! God, now I wish he was a human so I could crush him!"

Anguirus tilted his head. "This is a bad thing, why?"

Pulling back, Minilla just shrugged. "In all fairness, he's quite human enough, so he wouldn't have been much different. I'd just hate to see him as an actual human."

"He'd be one ugly son of a bitch, that's for sure," Gamera huffed. "Ugh, screw this, I'm going home to sleep. I spent all night meditating for his sake. What a waste of energy..."

"What if your prayers were answered?" the seer suggested, hoping to cull his anger.

"I was meditating for his human self. What a waste." And he sulked off, leaving the two shrugging and letting out rough sighs.

Godzilla's breath caught mid-snore, and he smacked his lips, but didn't budge from his chair. "...May the Force be wi'you, Jonesss..."

*~*~*

"Orga's in the house!" the alien announced, grinning smugly while swirling around a half-empty glass of iced tea. "Well, that was a letdown of a disaster. Given the weird format of this 'fan fiction', I guess the mailbag's been replaced with this 'author's notes' instead. Man, what's up with that? If it's over, just end it, no need to make people read more. Besides, it sounds stupid for fan fiction writers to get fan-mail.

"Who does that, anyway? And with such messages like 'When is the next chapter of Forsaken coming out?' Like what's up with that?" Orga narrowed his eyes in confusion. "What is that, anyway? Sounds like it'd make for a cool 'God of War' or 'Dead Space' fic. Whatever. Hey, kid! You, the one writing this crap!"

The author's small hands stopped moving on the keyboard as Orga peered at her through the screen. "Who're you calling 'kid'?" she warned in an unfortunate high voice.

"Yeah, why're you doing this? Don't you have better things to do with your time like schoolwork or something?" Then he chuckled nervously. "Oh, wait, that joke's gonna age like Madonna if I go any further, and that's already embarrassing!"

The author's hands went palms-up in befuddlement. "Okay...?"

"Stay safe out there, anyway."

"Yeah... thanks—is that why you've hijacked my end notes?"

Orga shrugged. "Well yeah, I have nothing better to do, either! How long were you working on this, anyhow? Did the winning team even go to the concert, or what?"

"...Yeeeeaaa—I guess..."

"You're just making shit up, aren't you? You think you're so 'ha ha' funny, don't you?"

A back-and-forth uncomfortable stare ensued for the next moment while Orga finished off the rest of his drink.

"This is awkward!" he then broke the ice while crunching on an ice cube.

"You're telling me," the author grumbled, insulted.

"Hey, how're you typing this ou

[notfunnydean]

It was just a prank

Pairing: Dean Winchester / Castiel Warnings: pranks, Sam pranks Dean horribly, playing with someone's feelings

Word Count: 3.787 Square Filled: Pranking

Summary: When Sam wakes up to discover that his mattress is soaking wet and his brother laughing loudly, he decides to take vengeance. Somehow, along the way, the prank war turns a bit too serious and Dean ends up really hurt.

A/N: This is for @spnclassicbingo! I’m always up for a prank war between Sam and Dean, so this was really so much fun to write!

Link (if posted on AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/18329609

Sam groans quietly when he wakes up. They don’t have an urgent hunt at the moment, since they just finished one yesterday and that’s why he can actually sleep in today, but something disturbed his sleep.

“Sammy, wakey wakey.”

Sam turns around at the annoying voice of his brother and that’s when he actually feels it. His bed is wet and that is enough to wake Sam up completely. He sits up and looks down at his legs. Everything is wet and cold already.

“What the fuck?!” Sam says angrily and Dean starts to cackle from his own bed. They are in a tiny motel room and when Sam squints at Dean, he sees the empty bucket next to him on the bed. Oh, this fucker.

“Well, you wouldn’t wake up.” Dean says, grinning, and he kicks the bucket away, as if Sam hadn’t seen it already. Sam makes a face when he moves again and his pants stick to his legs. Oh that would be a bitch to clean up.

“And you just poured a bucket of water down on me?” Sam asks and he feels like strangling his brother this morning. Dean shrugs and he even blinks all innocently up at Sam, since he knows most people can’t resist that face.

Sam isn’t most people.

“It’s nearly April Fools’ Day!” Dean says all happily and he sips on his coffee, as if he didn’t just declare a war between them. Sam frowns even harder and then gets out of the bed. At least they would leave the motel room today anyway, but he feels sorry for the poor maid who would need to clean this mess up. [Watch out for the cut]

“It’s another two weeks until April!” Sam says and he pulls off his wet shirt. Dean cackles loudly when he throws it on the ground and it makes a nasty noise. Sam only rolls his eyes and gets rid of the pants as well. It’s not like either of them have any shame left.

“Well, I thought I would get an early start.” Dean says and he seems to be really proud of himself. For a second Sam wants to throws his wet pants at him, but then decides against it. He would get his revenge in another way.

“You know how this is gonna end.” Sam says and goes over to the small bathroom with new dry clothes. Even his underwear is wet and hangs low on his hips. Dean doesn’t seem to be afraid of the threat. Instead, he just leans back on his own dry blanket and starts the vibrating motions of his bed.

“Yeah, of course. I win, like always.” Dean says and then he even puts his headphones on, so he can listen to his music. Sam shakes his head and closes the bathroom door a lot louder than necessary.

Sam can’t even remember how it started, but they have those prank wars all the damn time and it always ends up with one of them taking it too far. Mostly Dean doesn’t know when to stop and Sam ends it, but this year he would win it.

“Just wait and see.” Sam mutters quietly, when he starts the shower. Luckily the motel room even has warm water and Sam relaxes a bit. This feels damn good after after his involuntary cold shower.

Sam shrieks loudly when he discovers that his shampoo is not really shampoo, instead there is paint in his hair. Sam grits his teeth, when he hears Dean laughing again. So the asshole was just pretending to listen to music.

Oh he would get his revenge and it would be… destructive.

*

It takes Sam only a few hours to come up with a great plan, but he doesn’t want to do it too early on. He needs to take his time so Dean doesn’t think it’s actually a prank from Sam. So he suffers the next two weeks in silence.

“Dammit Dean. This isn’t funny.” Sam says when he puts on his shirt and there are two holes right at his nipples. Dean is laughing himself silly again.This time he sits at the little table in their new motel room, eating some fries while he chokes out his laughter.

“Dance for me, Sammy.” Dean giggles and Sam watches in disgust, when Dean doesn’t even swallow his food before he speaks up. Sam rolls his eyes and searches for another shirt. Only to find that Dean indeed cut them all.

“Really, you couldn’t even leave me one fucking shirt?” Sam says and he goes over to Dean’s bag. Dean doesn’t answer and continues to eat happily (and loudly as well). Sam takes out one of Dean’s shirts and puts it on. It’s a bit small and he groans.

“I thought you would at least wear them for a bit.” Dean says sadly, when he sees that Sam wears his own shirt. Sam just shakes his head and throws his own shirts into the garbage can. He would be out of clothes soon, if it continues like that.

“Do you have at least an idea what could’ve killed those people?” Sam changes the subject, because they are here for a new job and Dean is being childish and distracting again. Sam smiles to himself, actually he is glad that Dean is in such a good mood lately.

“Not really. I interviewed their wives and husbands. Nothing. Don’t think it’s a demon or a ghost.” Dean says and he finally swallows his food down. Sam nods, he was at the library all day and he didn’t find anything that would help with that case.

“I have no idea either. Maybe we should call Cas.” Sam says and he sits down on his bed. Dean seems to be lost in his thoughts for a moment, before he looks back to him and answers.

“Cas? Why? I think it’s a simple case and we can do it easily alone.” Dean says and there it is. The last weeks Dean behaves really weird around Castiel and while Sam always assumed those two were a bit more than just the best friends they claimed to be, it’s way too obvious now.

“Dean. If this is a simple case, we would already have at least an idea what we are hunting. So far, we are completely in the dark, so please just call him.” Sam says and he rubs over his temple. Sometimes his brother makes his headache worse.

“Fine.” Dean says and he gets up to get rid of the wrapping of his cheap food. He busies himself for a few minutes, before he finally sits down on his bed, hands folded in his lap and eyes closed.

“Don’t be such a drama queen.” Sam says and Dean glares at him, before he closes his eyes again and seems to really concentrate. Sam leans back on his elbows and waits.

“Dear Cas, could you please get your… feathery ass down here. We need some backup and maybe your angel powers.” Dean says quietly and Sam huffs a laughter. His brother can’t take anything seriously. Dean shrugs at his own words and then they both wait.

It doesn’t take long before they hear the rustling of Castiel’s wings. Sam looks around and there is Castiel standing in their doorway, looking like always. The trenchcoat is still the same and the frown on his face looks exactly like it did a week ago, when they last called him.

“Hello Dean.” Castiel says and Sam isn’t even offended anymore that Castiel always talks to Dean first and sometimes even forgets about Sam at all.

“What’s up, Cas?” Dean says and he is grinning widely, when he gets up from the bed. For a moment Sam thinks that Dean is going to hug the angel, but instead they just stare at each other again. Sam sighs, this is gonna take a while.

“The… ceiling?” Castiel asks back and he sounds a bit unsure. Dean laughs, way too loudly and exaggerated in Sam’s opinion, but whatever makes those two happy. Sam ignores them and looks over to his bag. He can see a small envelope sticking out of it and he can’t wait to finally start with his prank.

“So Cas, we actually have a new case and no idea what it could be this time.” Sam says, when he realizes those two are still staring at each other. Castiel finally seems to acknowledge his presence and looks over to Sam with a nod.

“How can I help?” Castiel asks and Dean rushes over to the fridge to get himself a beer. Sam holds up his notes for Castiel and the angel sits awkwardly down next to him on the bed.

“We have four victims. Two men and two women. They were not related, didn’t even know each other and didn’t share the same interests or clubs or whatever.” Sam lists and Castiel listens to him, and nods once in a while.

“Could be the work of a witch.” Castiel mutters and Dean, behind them, groans loudly. Sam agrees silently with his brother, because witches are always a real pain in the ass.

“Or worse, your brother.” Dean says and Castiel snorts. Sam feels himself frowning. It’s been a while since they saw Gabriel and, somehow, the crimes would fit him too. Nothing too obvious, but one of the victims died through his own tractor.

“I will try to locate Gabriel.” Castiel says and before either of the brothers can react, he is already gone. Sam leans completely back on his bed and relaxes a bit. It’s not that late, but he really just wants to read a bit and then go to sleep.

“You want to sleep?” Dean asks and he puts the empty beer bottle on the counter. Sam nods and he can hear Dean yawning as well. They could rest until tomorrow morning and maybe then Castiel would have news for them.

“Yeah. If you go out, please be quiet when you do decide to come back.” Sam mutters and he can hear that his brother is searching for something in his own bag. His knees crack a bit and Sam sighs.

“I won’t… go out. Gonna catch some sleep myself.” Dean says and just like that he goes to the small bathroom and closes the door. Lately Dean would always claim to be tired and go to sleep as soon as possible, instead of going to a bar to bring some chick home. Sam pretends not to question it, but he has an idea why Dean is behaving like this.

Dean wants a real relationship. No matter how much he denies it, Sam knows his brother wants nothing more, he just thinks that he doesn’t deserve it. Still, he would win this prank war first and he is sure that with his idea he would make Dean see how good Castiel can be for him.

Sam gets up quietly and takes the envelope out of his bag, so he can carefully put it into Dean’s pillow, so it looks as if Castiel had put it there earlier. Sam really hopes that Dean doesn't think that it comes from him. He hastily undresses and lays down under his blanket, just in time, because Dean comes out of the bathroom again.

“We’re out of hot water.” Dean announces and Sam nods. He would try to shower in the morning, because he doesn’t want to miss Dean’s face, when he finds the envelope. Dean throws his small wash bag on his nightstand and then sits down with another groan.

“Could you be a bit quieter?” Sam says and he hope it sounds annoyed, but inwardly he is grinning widely. Dean doesn’t answer, but Sam hears the small gasp. Seems like Dean found it.

“Did you put that here?” Dean asks and Sam opens his eyes, just to glance at the envelope. He shakes his head and hopes it looks as innocently as he needs it to be. Dean’s eyes widen at that and he carefully opens it.

“What is it?” Sam asks, even though it took him almost a whole night to write this down. He had copied Castiel’s handwriting as good as he could and he just hopes Dean buys it. Sam watches Dean, while he reads the letter.

There is a soft smile on Dean’s lips.

“It’s… from Cas.” Dean says in the end and he seems to read it all again. Sam tried not to write it down too mushy, because Castiel wouldn’t do that, it’s directly to the point, while still being romantic. Sam would give himself an award for that.

“What does he want?” Sam asks and acts like he is surprised.

“He… Sammy... he wants to go out with me.” Dean says and he looks so happy, that Sam has to smile himself. He doesn’t remember the last time Dean seemed to be this happy and just now Sam’s conscience speaks up in the back of his mind.

Why the fuck did he do that?! What if Castiel doesn’t want Dean?

“I can’t believe this.” Dean whispers and he even strokes carefully over the paper. Sam swallows dryly, oh yeah he is so fucked. He was just so annoyed with Dean and his pranks and he wanted to end it… but this would break his brother.

“Yeah… uhm good for you.” Sam mumbles and lays back down. Even when Dean switches off the lights, Sam can’t calm down. He will ruin his brother’s life. Just because of a stupid prank war. He should’ve just gone for a simple prank and hid Dean’s porn.

“Castiel Winchester.” Dean whispers into the quiet room and Sam closes his eyes.

*

“Hey Sammy!” Dean is still in a really good mood the next morning and he is even standing at the tiny stove of the motel room, whistling. Sam feels worse with every second. Maybe he could still warn Dean.

“Morning Dean.” Sam mumbles and gets up to dress and shower. Out of the corner of his eyes he sees that Dean is making pancakes. He only does that when they really have to celebrate something, or when one of them almost died on a hunt.

Sam takes his time this morning and tries to think of a way to get out of this mess without hurting his brother too much. Just when he thinks he can do this, he opens the door and sees that Dean is wearing one of his fine suits.

“Do I look okay?” Dean asks and turns around a few times. Sam can only nod, because the words are stuck in his throat. Dean smiles widely and there is even a faint blush on his cheeks and Sam would so go to hell, again.

“Yeah, Dean… uhm? Can we talk for a second?” Sam says, but Dean doesn’t seem to hear him. Instead he sits on his bed and gets his shiny black shoes on. Sam is pretty sure that Dean never dressed up for a date before.

“No time, Sammy. I gotta call Cas. Maybe we can go to this tiny restaurant at the end of the street and then maybe talk a small walk through the park. We could even feed the ducks.” Dean rambles and Sam is sure that he is going to puke.

“Okay, but I think we should talk first!” Sam says a bit louder, to get any reaction out of his brother, but Dean just ignores him. Instead he even picks up some flowers.

“Cas? Are you ready?” Dean asks loudly and before Sam can put his hand over his brother’s mouth, there is the rustling of the feathers again and Castiel stands in the middle of the room. He looks confused and isn’t dressed up like Dean. Of course not.

“For the case? I still didn’t track Gabriel and…” Castiel starts and Sam buries his face in his hands. Dean stands there, the flowers still in his hands and looks heartbroken. Sam wishes Lucifer would come back and get him now.

“For our date?” Dean whispers and Castiel tilts his head. Sam closes his eyes.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Castiel says slowly and Sam has to look up again. Whether he wants to or not. Dean’s green eyes are wide open and Sam really hopes that it only looks as if they are wet with tears.

“Sammy?” Dean says and he already sounds wrecked.

“April Fools’?” Sam whispers quietly and Dean turns away from him. Sam can see how his shoulders are shaking and he wants so badly to go over there and hug is brother, but he can’t move. Dean would never speak to him again.

“Dean, I’m sorry.” Sam tries, but Castiel holds his hand up. Sam goes quiet and Castiel goes over to Dean and Sam’s eyes nearly fall out, when Castiel presses a kiss to the back of Dean’s neck. What the fuck is happening?

“Dean, what happened?” Castiel wants to know and he sounds so commanding, that Sam isn’t surprises to see that Dean actually turns towards them again. He isn’t even crying like Sam thought, no, he is laughing quietly.

“Sam wanted to prank me and his attempt was almost cute, but it didn’t really work out.” Dean says and he leans completely against the angel. Castiel puts an arm around Dean’s hip and Sam gasps again.

“Care to tell me what kind of prank?” Castiel asks and for a second Sam thinks he should answer that, but Dean is already speaking up again.

“He wrote me a love letter in your name, where you asked me out on a date and thought I would fall for it.” Dean explains and Sam finds himself nodding under Castiel’s heavy gaze. He is still not really sure what is going on, because even though they are standing side by side, Castiel seems to press completely against Dean.

“I see.” Castiel says and Sam has to look to the ground.

“I don’t know why I did it, you just pissed me off with all your pranks and I thought it would be hilarious, but then I realized… how much it could hurt you.” Sam tries to explain himself and he blushes himself. Castiel looks really angry.

“So let me see if I understand this right, you thought you would play with your brother’s feelings for a prank.” Castiel says and Sam shakes his head hastily.

“No… Seems like I didn’t think at all.” Sam says shyly and he looks up through his eyelashes. Dean’s smile turns a bit softer and he holds an arm out. Sam knows what that means and goes over to his big brother. He hides his face against Dean’s shoulder and hugs him.

“It’s okay, Cas.” Dean says and he strokes over Sam’s hair. Castiel doesn’t seem really happy about it and Sam just sniffs into Dean’s suit jacket. He was such an asshole.

“It is not okay.” Castiel replies shortly and Sam can feel his brother nodding. He just wants to stay here in Dean’s arms and beg for forgiveness if he has to, but Dean just pulls a bit away.

“I know. Sammy, look at me. I know sometimes my pranks are a pain in the ass, but sometimes I don’t know how to deal with our lives anymore and small things like those prank wars help me a lot, but you took it too far.” Dean says, and he sounds the most serious Sam has seen him since he came back from hell.

“I’m sorry.” Sam says again and he knows that Dean understands that he means it. He never felt worse in his life, even though Dean doesn’t seem really sad.

“Yeah, but promise you’ll never do that again, Sammy. I mean it. It’s not okay to play with others’ feelings like that.” Dean says and when Sam looks to Castiel, he sees that the angel is nodding as well. Sam tries to hug Dean and Castiel at the same time and finally the angel smiles a bit again.

“I will never do that again.” Sam whispers quietly and Castiel even strokes his back.

“Good. Anyway, I figured it out after just reading the first word, so you didn’t hurt me.” Dean says proudly and he is grinning again. Castiel doesn’t seem too happy about it. Sam takes a step back and looks at his brother.

“What do you mean?” Castiel asks and Sam closes his mouth again, because he wanted to ask the same question. He even sees that Castiel and Dean are holding hands now. It must’ve happened when he hugged them.

“Well, you don’t start with ‘Hello Dean’, you call me ‘Baby’.” Dean says and he is smiling so happily. This time it’s Sam who tilts his head, because did he hear that right? Castiel actually writes him letters?

“That is true.” Castiel says and he presses a short kiss to Dean’s cheek. Dean is still grinning at Sam, as if he wants to show Castiel off. Sam swallows dryly. Those two are already a couple, that’s what Dean is trying to say.

“Okay, actually I planned this a bit different, but Sam? Meet my boyfriend Castiel, Angel of the Lord.” Dean says and Castiel smacks him on the back of his head. Dean doesn’t even jerk and winks at Sam instead.

“Wow, this is… I mean, congratulations.” Sam says finally and he can’t really believe this. His brother had already found his soulmate. Sam didn’t destroy everything between them, he is so relieved. But he would never play a prank like this again.

“Thank you, Sam.” Castiel says and this time he looks so much softer. Dean giggles and holds up the flowers again that he had thrown on the bed. He presses them against Castiel’s chest.

“These are for you anyway.” Dean mutters and he blushes a bit again. Sam pretends that he doesn’t see how embarrassed and cute his brother can be, when Castiel kisses him right there. Dean ducks his head.

“So, what now?” Dean says after the kiss and Sam laughs. He is really relieved that they are all fine and he had learned his lesson.

“Well, I would still like to go for the walk and feed the ducks.” Castiel says and Dean groans. Sam winks at Castiel and the angel even sticks out his tongue. Sam sits down on his bed and sighs happily.

“Please, everything but that.” Dean whines, but Castiel already ushers him out of the door. Sam shakes his head and looks to Dean’s bed again. The letter is still there and Sam takes it and rips it a million little snippets.

He would learn from this.

[purplesurveys]

482

How many...

How many times have you skipped class? Too many. I only started doing it in college but since then I’ve done it a lot. The class I skipped the most would probably be chemistry or psychology lmao. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? I’ve been with her for technically five years so that number’s going to be huge. How many years have you known your second closest friend? I’ve been familiar with her for 17 years, but I’ve been friends with her for only seven. How many alarm clocks are in the house? Technically, four. All our phones have alarms but we don’t have actual alarm clocks. How many people have you argued with? Your questions ask stuff that are very difficult to count lmao. I can be a bit of a war freak so I’m guessing the number’s also risen to be a lot.

How many times have you watched your favortie movie? Probably in the 80s-100s range. There was a time I watched Two for the Road every day for several months, and I still watch it several times a year. How many people do you live with? I live with my family. With my dad working abroad, sometimes I’ll live with four people but most times I live with three. How many pairs of boots do you own? None. It’s too hot to wear boots. How many people have told you they're in love with you? Just one. How many times have you cried over the opposite sex? Maybe twice, and not because of romantic reasons. The first was because my grandfather died; the second time was when my dad dropped the bomb on me that he wouldn’t be able to watch my high school graduation. How many people have been in your house at one time? .......Huh? How many stuffed animals are in your room? None. I was never a fan. How many cellphones have you went through? Eight. How many pets do you have? I have a dog, but I’ve had several other pets in the past.

What would you do if...

What would you do if you could never listen to music again? I think I’ll be alright for the most part since I don’t rely on music as much as others do, but I’ll definitely grow restless at some point, especially if I have to drive in silence. What would you do if your current bf/gf cheated on you? I’d imagine wanting a few days or weeks to myself to think about what was just done to me and using that time to take care of myself and see my other friends. I don’t actually know what to do following that; I just never entertain that thought so I never think of it lmao. What would you do if you could never wear jeans again? Be so fucking stoked. I hate jeans. What would you do if your dad became president? Teach him about key political and social issues...and maybe be glad that he doesn’t have to work abroad now. What would you do if you lost your most important possesion? That would be my dog. I would be broken; I’ve never lost a dog before. What would you do if your house burned down? Grab my dog, put my phone and laptop in a bag, and jump off my room’s window. What would you do if your best friend didn't want to be friends anymore? I’d be really confused and hurt. I would probably talk to Hans to get to the bottom of it. What would you do if you had to move to a different state/province? Asked to be left behind. I’m not gonna have my relationship that I’ve worked so hard on adjust to my family’s (very) delayed migration-ish plans if this happens.   What would you do if someone shaved your head? Hope I get paid for it, lmao. What would you do if Jesus came to your front door? I work with a Jesus. I’d invite him in, get him a light snack, and ask him why he visited. I don’t recognize any other Jesuses. What would you do if your house was robbed? Scream at the top of my lungs. What would you do if your sister/brother got married? Well first I’d be envious that they went first, but I’d otherwise be excited that I get to go to a party hahaha What would you do if dogs became extinct? Hate humanity forever. What would you do if the last person you kissed proposed to you? Think she’s insane, and I’ll have to turn it down. I’m sure she doesn’t want it this early too.

Have you ever...

Have you ever broke a body part? I’ve sprained an ankle, but other than that no. Have you ever broke someone else's body part? Oh gosh that’s terrible. I don’t think so. Have you ever changed for a guy/girl? Only if I knew it was for my betterment to change. Tried to jump on a celebrity but been stopped by the security guards? Uh no, but a little close. I was exiting a mall at the same time Greyson Chance walked in, and my system just shut down and did the first thing it thought of: get my phone out and start taking photos. He was like, 2 feet away at this point so his bodyguards kinda told me to get out of the way, which I deserved. To this day I still don’t understand why I did something as stupidly fangirly as that, and I can’t even name one of his songs. Have you ever complained about the last person you spoke to? Never. Kate’s my homie. Have you ever cried on your mom's shoulder? No. We’re not close like that, and it’s more than likely that she’d just tell me to pray if I ever decide to confide in her. Have you ever dialed 911 as a prank? I haven’t. Have you ever won a talent show? No. I’ve won a quiz bee though, haha. Have you ever spilled a drink on a expensive electronic item and ruined it? No. I didn’t spill a drink, but I did let my old iPhone 5S be soaked when I was walking under the rain once without an umbrella. I just kinda thought my phone would be durable enough to resist the raindrops, but that was the start of the end for it.   Have you ever fainted when someone told you shocking news? No. I’ve only fainted from hunger + heat. Have you ever swooned over the Jonas Brothers? Yes, when I was 10. Have you ever bought a piece of makeup that cost over $100? No and I don’t think I would ever do that. Have you ever been cheated on by someone who claimed to love you? I’ve never been cheated on. Have you ever got food free because the waiter thought you were hot? No.

Do you...

Do you have someone who will always be there for you? I’d like to think so. My best friends are my ride or dies. My Daydrinkers group (that’s what we call ourselves because we used to go to this local bar in the early afternoon) are also trustworthy. Do you have a membership at a gym? Nah, I’m too lazy to go to the gym. Do you act dumb to get guys/girls to like you? No...does that still even work these days? Do you know anyone who smokes a pack of cigarettes a day? No. And if I did I would stay away from them. Do you follow the rules? Most of the time. I don’t enjoy getting reprimanded :/ Do you have a friend who secretly really annoys you? No. I wouldn’t count them as a friend if they did annoy me. Do you always have Pepsi at your house? Nope. Only our parents drink softdrinks and they’re not always at home, so we seldom have soda around the house. Do you flirt with anything that moves? ??? No ??? Do you watch SpongeBob? Still do, yep. I just watched it yesterday. The comedy of the older episodes is timeless. Do you count sheep when you can't sleep? No. I tried to do that as a kid since it’s what I saw in cartoons and in a Mr. Bean episode but it never worked. Do you sweat easily? No. I sweat slower than most people. Do you like pineapple? I hate it. Do you refuse to wear something that's out of style? Typically, yes. Do you type 'u' or 'you'? Depends. I’ll type depending on who I’m talking to and my mood.

What is...

What is your best friend's name?Gabie. Or Angela. I have two best friends.What is your first girlfriend/boyfriend's name?Gabie.What is your neighbour's name?I never talk to the neighbors and have no idea who any of them are.What is your least favorite swear word?Cunt.What is the best and most romantic way to propose to someone?I don’t think there’s a singular best way to propose. That differs for everyone.What is something that always makes you laugh?FRIENDSWhat is the name of your hometown?Sampaloc, Manila.What is the most gentle way to turn someone down?I guess just be straightforward about it? I wouldn’t like to be put under mind games or mixed signals if I was the one being turned down.What is the ugliest girl name?I don’t think there’s an ugly girl name, just ones I’m not fond of. I don’t really like old-fashioned ones like Barbara, Linda, and Gertrude.What is the most boring thing to do?Waiting.What is the funnest kind of question to answer?If you’re talking about surveys, questions about my day or my experiences are always nice to answer.What is the most useless thing you know?I wouldn’t call it useless but I can recognize flags and the capital cities of a number of countries. I collected Kids’ Almanacs every year growing up and they always had a section on geography so that’s why I got to memorize those trivia.What is your favorite pair of pants?My white Mango ones, because they’re super stylish and can be casual or smart casual depending on what I pair it with.What is the best flavour of ice cream?Cookies and cream is my favorite flavor.

[elejah-wonderland]

How To Hold My Heart/5

Fanfiction 

Part 5

Elijah Mikaelson x Elena Gilbert

AU TVD/TO  short story

a/n: Elena and Elijah worked together in a Law Firm. One night he hooked up with her friend Hayley, and continued seeing her. Elena, had always secretively loved Elijah, but never told him how she felt. Hayley fell pregnant and Elijah married her, and Elena went to live in Toronto, accepting a better job, but also to forget Elijah. Will life bring them together?

Thank you so much for reading. One more part and this one comes to the end. Tomorrow I will post Game of Love. xoxo

Tags

@rissyrapp20 @dendrite-lover  @cassienoble2000 @captainshurley @goddessofthunder112 @elejahforever @hides2000

_______

A week later

"Rebekah told me I could find you here."- Kol said to Elijah the evening before his departure. Kol handed him a bottle of beer.

"Hey- what's up? Sitting out here all by yourself?"- Kol added as he sat down on the bench.

"Just thinking about stuff"- Elijah said looking at the moon.

"Stuff, ha- like Elena?!"- Kol said.

Elijah moved giving his brother a look saying- where did this come from?!-

"Come on- you and her at the wedding - you've not moved from her side a second-plus I caught you gazing at her-not once!"

“Rebekah told you!”

Kol shrugged with his shoulder and nodded as a yes.

“Oh, God. What is this? I told her to let it go.”

“Why?”

“Cuz - I made - so many mistakes and fucked up royally - and I just - she is like the best person I have ever met”

“Just because you had a string of really bad choices - and - ok- listen- it doesn’t mean that this will turn out bad- you think you will fuck up again?”

“Yes. Somehow - I always do. And she -”- Elijah paused for a second -”she doesn’t need a mess that is me.”

“Fucking stop this. If you really feel something for her, than you should get your ass in gear and do something. Maybe she is the ONE”

Elijah took a swag of beer. It was true. It felt like she was the ONE. 

"Elena"- Elijah uttered and his heart leapt up.

__

Days turned into weeks and both Elena and Elijah were preoccupied with work. It was nearing Christmas.

Strangely, it seemed that life was magicless that season, that even hope had fallen deeply asleep under the winter white carpet although there was no snow in New York.

In Toronto, Elena was wrapping Christmas presents with Jen and her nanny.

She put a playlist with Sarah Bareilles' songs on - as they made her feel good.

"Oh, Winter song- love it! I so listened to it when I broke up with my boyfriend Ryan"- Vicky, the nanny said.

Elena could not help but think of Elijah. But as the song said it felt like they were buried far just like a distant star.

******

In New York

Caroline was also busy wrapping tones of Christmas presents.

"Caroline?!"-Klaus stormed in the bedroom.

"Careful. Don't step on something. What's up?"-

"Well, I've just spoken to Kol"

"How are things in Turkey?"-Caroline said continuing with her work.

"Fine, he is loving it there. Right- so we got talking about Elijah - and you will never believe what Kol has told me?!"

"What has Kol told you?"

"You said that Elena had it bad for Elijah and it turns out that Elijah is into Elena as well"- he said it like it was the greatest revelation ever.

Caroline put the wrapping paper aside and now got up and  looked at Klaus-

"This is not some mad prank a la Kol?!"

"Kol is a joker at the best of times but he respects Elijah and would not be playing with his feelings- you know what Elijah went through"

"Yes- OMG! You know what that means??"-Caroline's eyes sparkled with an idea.

"I know this look-What have you planned?"

"New Year's- skiing trip - Canada!!"- Caroline said.

"It's so obvious-"- Klaus said.

"I know she has booked it already!!"- Caroline said and now went to book them and Elijah without asking him.

Life finds a way!

****

The following day

Elena walked into her office and her assistant put two cups of coffee in front of them, an espresso for Elena and Mokkacino for her.

"Did you maybe get those mini muffins?"-Elena asked.

"Sorry, no. But there are madeleines"- Liv said.

"My sugar levels are so low, so yeah. Can you get them, please."- Elena said followed by a little thanks. She then logged into her e-mail and  there was a message tagged EM-it was Elijah. Her heart went bam as she saw his initials  the screen. She opened the mail now-and she could see a picture of herself and Elijah from the office party years ago-and a text following -

"Hello, there, stranger-

The other day went to an antique bookstore I bought some books, and as I got home-the store lady put this book probably by mistake- Interview with a Vampire. And - well- can’t forget -that you bought it for my birthday as a joke. And yesterday was my birthday - and - well - can’t think that there is some kind of weird coincidence.Anyway -  made me think of you. How are you doing? EM"

As Liv returned she found Elena in a state as if she had seen a ghost.

"OMG-"- Elena now slipped, remembering Elijah’s face as he got the book out of the paper bag. 

Flashback

Years back

“An Interview with a Vampire?”- Elijah looked at the book and then at Elena puzzled-”Are you saying that I am a bloodsucker?”

“Well, not really. But - you were really - hard on us young associates, especially with all the cases and then the Bar exam. Nah. It’s the first thing I saw in the book store and bought it- it’s payback for getting me War and Peace”

Liv now got back in the office and asked Elena if they would postpone their morning briefing, and Elena apologized and said that it was a good idea.

A thought ran through Elena's mind-"is this a sign?!" Was the Universe playing the biggest prank on her? Whatever it was, she now started writing a reply-

"Hello, there, EM. Happy belated birthday. Ahm- wow - and sorry for such silly gift. I am good. You? How is New York? There is so much snow here, had to ski and skate to work this morning. EG"

Elena read it once agaun and pressed the  sent button and the  e-mail went. And now as it went she felt like she was hyperventilating all of a sudden.

But she had no time to think about it anymore as Liv came back and she had to start with her first appointment of the day.

The morning seemed to be the longest in her entire life, she thought. And she could not escape from the business lunch either. But when she finally got to her office, she went straight to check her mail again in peace-and there was a reply-

EM- a photo with a very short text under it- with a miserable smiley emoticon- woke up to New York rain myself, but with a virtual sunny outlook!!

******

In Klaus and Caroline's house at lunch time

"We should have left it to Universe!"- Klaus said to Caroline as she now pressed the speedial to talk to Elena. When she finished the conversation- she said-

"Since when do I rely on Universe?!"

"Well, you don't, but I know my brother - this is not going to be good!"

"Leave it to me"- Caroline said giving her husband a peck and left to talk to Kol. She needed an accomplice.

"Hey- "Caroline said to Kol- "how about a family New Year's in Canada?"- now laying out her plan to him and why she needed him to be there.

Kol agreed to assist.

****

Christmas day arrived in both New York and Toronto-

All the Mikaelsons gathered for a grand brunch at their parent's house. It was a family affair, that was sure. Caroline was one of them now, although Rebekah never completely accepted her new sister-in-law and if the could lock fangs anytime they could they would do so.

"Can you at least be civil on Christmas?!"- Elijah slipped to Rebekah after he had witnessed an exchange of smart tirade of insults.

"She thinks cuz she married Nik, she will take over as if she is some Queen?! And mother approves of her suggestions- ugh!"-Rebekah spat and left her brother, who now heard an alert from his phone - he looked at the instagram- it was from Elena. A picture of the Christmas day in Toronto. A bare tree lit up with fairy-lights.

He quickly responded to the instagram with a smiley adding- wish to escape the Mikaelson brunch -expecting fireworks at the table.

Elena responded- Different Santa madness here. Liked the present.

Elijah then wrote- Glad

He was called now by Kol as everyone was sat down at the table.

Later, Caroline and Klaus presented everyone with the invitation to the New Year's celebration in Canada as a special additional Christmas present. This was of course Caroline and Kol's way to get Elijah to Canada. Then when he found out where they were going he came out with the stunner later to Kol-

"I already booked a trip there!"- he said.

"What?"- Kol was surprised to hear it.

"This is weird- something doesn't add up here"- Elijah said.

"Ok- you got us- we kinda plotted to get you there, since Elena will be there- but you already know that??"- Kol admitted.

"OMG- You plotted- since when do I need matchmakers?"- Elijah found the whole situation hilarious.

"How do you know she is going to be there?? Did you two- cos Caroline had grilled Elena about you and she is not interested"-

"She is not interested?! So- why push it then?!!"- Elijah then said.

Kol now saw that he had inadvertently put his foot in it and then he had to clean about everything he actually knew-

"Elena has always been in love with you - "

"Excuse me??"- Elijah couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I don't know detailes- just Klaus said-"

"Klaus knows?? Of course- Caroline!"- Elijah said and everything seemed to piece itself together. He now flashed back to their forbidden kiss years back. There was fire. It had never left him and burnt him always.

Flashback

years back

Days after the almost kiss with Elena 

"I need to break it off with Hayley"- he thought as he looked himself in the mirror as he washed his face. A look of a man that felt his heart was splitting into two. For a moment he was frozen in time, the water dripping from his face down on his chest phased him back to reality. "Yeah- huh -yeah!"- he now said taking the towel and wiping his face off. He then left to get dressed.

Hayley was in the living room on the phone with her adoptive mother- "Yes- mom- I think I am pregnant- oh, this would be the greatest thing- oh, Elijah is the best- he is like the last walking gentleman on this planet"

Having heard this, Elijah took a deep breath and knocked at the door walking in.

"Elijah- I know this is all kind of a mess. And you will accuse us acting like teenagers- but - it's ok to try and be happy again-we want you to be happy again!"

"Happy,ha?!"- Elijah uttered.

Kol could see the sudden change in Elijah that indicated the past kicked in and Kol wished there was another way of putting it but he thought that confronting whatever was suffocating you head on was the best.

"It's not your fault Hayley died"- Kol then said-"you did right by her"

"This is a mistake"- Elijah now slipped and walked away.

"Damn"- Kol said angered by the way things turned out.

He now had to tell Caroline that all has gone awry.

"Where is Elijah?"- Rebekah now came up to Kol-" we're going out -well, Finn and me- coming?"

"Ha?- He's gone out- yeah- I'll meet you at the bar"- Kol said and went.

"Always the same"- Rebekah remarked and as Finn came to the lobby, they left the house.

Elijah went for a walk. He needed to clear his head. Elena was in love with him. All this time. He was the cause of her to leave. But she never once showed it. And yet the almost kiss- he had not kissed her, but that feeling always somehow lingered. The butterflies in his chest. But then, feeling frozen when it came to the crunch. And they had great time always joking, and picking each other’s brains. Like Kol said as they spoke once on the phone as he was still in Turkey helping the victims of a terrible Earthquake.

Flashback

“I think the reason you didn’t go there with Elena, because - if - for some reason all folded, it would have be worse than it was wen M.J left you at the altar. Like I told you back then - she is the ONE. Your soul mate, twin flame. You just got scared and - you pushed her away.”- Kol said.

“I think the you are right.”- Elijah said with a sigh.

 And so all just went they way it did. Elijah now flashed back to the day he proposed to Hayley.

Flashback

Years back

"Do I get this right? You proposed to Hayley? Why?"- Klaus said to Elijah surprised.

"She is pregnant"- Elijah said.

"Wow! All right. Well Congratulations- then!"- Klaus said.

*

Elijah's head was swarming with all different thoughts and everything that went on afterwards. Hayley found out that she had a tumor and it caused a false pregnancy and crazily refused treatment. Keeping it from everyone. From him.

Like Kol had said it was not his fault. But many times he felt that it was his fault. He blamed himself for being absent-minded and did not see that she was ill or that things were not right with Hayley.

He now opened Elena's instagram with the photo of the bare tree with fairy lights.                 

"You are allowed to be happy-" he uttered thinking of Kol's words to him now/

Then he took his phone and opened the app looking for a plane ticket to Toronto. 

"What do you mean he left for Canada? When?"- Caroline said as Kol told her and Klaus that Elijah send him the message that he was catching a flight to Toronto and was at the airport. He also shared his conversation with Elijah about Elena.

"Wait a minute?! He knew that she was going skiing?! so, they kept in touch since the wedding and she hadn't told me anything??!!!"- Caroline was miffed.

Klaus now gave Kol a look making a face that Caroline would be in a hellish mood cause of the latest revelation. He marched off after her. Kol shrugged with his shoulders and now pressed the speedial with Bonnie's name.

"Hey- what's up? Drink?:- he said to his best friend. Soon Bonnie came to the bar. The topic was Elena and Elijah. Plus Bonnie knew how to cool Caroline down.

***** For Elijah this trip seemed to have been the longest ever, although it was only some three hours. In the plane he had realized that didn't know Elena's house address nor her new phone number. They never exchanged it. There was only her e-mail and followed her instagram. Odd, but true. Things were never easy with them. As soon as he landed he called Kol, who passed Caroline on. She told him the address and Elijah thanked her for her matchmaking efforts.

"You are the most difficult people on the planet- I though you needed a push!"- Caroline said.

"You could have just told me- "

"Elena would have torpedoed me to the moon if I said something!"- Caroline said.

Kol, who was standing close to Caroline now said-"She is going to torpedo you, anyway-"

"You guys, stop it - I was going to surprise her on New Year's anyway- now it's going to be sooner!"- Elijah said.

"He is right!"- Kol said.

And with that they ended their conversation. Elijah was in the taxi heading directly to Elena's apartment.

It nearly 10 p.m. and Elena checked on Jenna, who was asleep sweetily. She then went to change into her pijamas. Then she went to the living room and took the TV remote control. A chick-flick was what she needed. Soon she found something and made herself cosy on the sofa.

Some ten minutes into the film, the interphone rang and the doorman said that she had a visitor- Elijah Mikaelson.

"What?"- she muttered and then said-"send him up- thank you"

"Elijah?!"- she uttered- "OMG!"

And within a minute she ran to change-putting her jeans on and a T-shirt that was the first she could find. The door buzzed. She briefly looked at herself in the mirror ruffling hair a bit. Her heart and her thoughts were so hightened and just before she opened the the door she took a long deep breath. Then she opened the door and there he stood slipping- "Elena-" "Elijah-" 

and both of them yet again just stood without moving - now, since Caroline was still in New Orleans, the Universe snapped them out of the one of so many awkward moments they had over the years and so Elena invited him in.

"Hey-"- she said -"ahm- wha-?"

And the answer to Elena's wha- was a kiss that Elijah sprung on her making Elena let a sweet small uhmm out. 

______

[lady-wallace]

A Story for April Fool’s!

Since it’s April Fool’s Day I thought I would post this Prank story that I wrote a while ago which was part of my A Thing or Two About Being Human series. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~

Cas Wages War

Set Season 9

Dean grunted in frustration as he shuffled things around in his desk drawer. How the hell had all this stuff gotten in there anyway? It wasn’t like he used half of it.

           After unearthing multiple things he’d completely forgotten about, including a half eaten candy bar, he still hadn’t found the one thing he’d been looking for to begin with. How hard was it to find a hole-punch? And a better question: why was he looking for one first thing in the morning?

           He decided it just wasn’t that important to him anymore—Sam would just have to punch his own holes—and began to shove the pile of junk back into the drawer when something else he didn’t know was in there caught his eye.

           Dean picked up the small packet. Itching powder. He grinned; it had been a long time since he’d used thaton anyone. He must have bought it in anticipation for surprising Sam at some point, but had obviously forgotten about it. Well, no time like the present. They hadn’t had a case for over two weeks now and they were all going stir-crazy. Hence why he was helping Sam file crap. He was kind of desperate.

           Dean smirked as he left his room, glancing around and hearing Sam banging around in the kitchen getting breakfast—also apparently having given up his filing venture.

           He was about to go to his younger brother’s room when he heard the sound of the shower running and then saw that Cas’ door was invitingly open. Dean glanced toward the shower room and then back to Cas’ with a sudden thought. He’d pranked Sam with itching powder multiple times, he’d know what it was instantly, and though it would he hilarious to watch him realize what Dean had done, it would be a lot more fun to see Cas have absolutely no clue why he was itching so much.

           Deciding there was no way he was passing up this opportunity, Dean slipped into Cas’ room and found his clean clothes laid out nicely on the bed. Dean glanced over his shoulder once to make sure Sam wouldn’t come along and ruin it, before he opened the itching powder and carefully sprinkled some of it inside Cas’ t-shirt and, yep, even in his underwear. If you were gonna commit to a prank, you had to do it right.

           Dean carefully tried to put the clothes back as he had found them as he heard the shower turn off. He hastily retreated from the room and started back down the hall toward the library, trying to wipe the grin from his face as the shower room door opened and Cas emerged with a towel wrapped around his waist.

           “Good morning, Dean,” the ex-angel said.

           “Hey, Cas,” Dean replied biting the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t start laughing. “Fresh coffee in the kitchen.”

           Cas nodded and Dean beat a hasty retreat, snickering to himself as he went to grab his own breakfast.

           Sam looked up from a book he was reading at the kitchen table, frowning at his brother. “What?”

           “Nothin’,” Dean replied and grabbed a bowl for cereal.

           Sam shook his head and went back to his book.

           Cas entered a couple minutes later and Trouble instantly came to greet him before moving pointedly toward his food bowl in the corner.

           “Hold on, Trouble,” Cas said and grabbed the food, measuring it out and filling the bowl. Trouble mrowedhappily and set to eating. Cas put the bag of food aside and frowned as he scratched under his arm. Dean quickly turned to stare at his cereal, taking a huge bite.

           Cas got a cup of coffee and his own bowl of cereal and went to sit down at the table across from Dean.

           “Any plans today?” he asked and frowned slightly again, shifting on the seat. Dean took a deep sip of his coffee.

           “Uh, not really. Sam is trying to organize more of the library research stuff. I’m probably gonna make a run to the grocery store, so let me know if you need anything.”

           Cas reached below the table and his face scrunched up as he wiggled in his seat a bit. “Um, no, I think I’m okay.”

           Dean nearly lost it every time Cas went to scratch, looking more and more perturbed, but he was a professional so he kept his cool. The ex-angel was starting to wiggle around so much though that Sam finally glanced over at him.

           “You okay, Cas?” he asked.

           “Fine,” Cas snapped and he stood up to take his bowl to the sink. He started to wash it then had to stop to scratch at his stomach with a wet hand, grunting a bit. He quickly left the room as soon as he was done washing his bowl and Dean got up to do the same.

           “Need anything at the store Sammy? More fancy shampoo?” Dean asked his brother.

           Sam rolled his eyes. “No, Dean, I’m fine. Just grab some fruit and vegetables for once, okay? You can’t live off bacon!”

           Dean snorted but was interrupted as Cas came hurrying back into the kitchen, fingers scrabbling all over his body now.

           “Hey, what’s up?” Dean asked as innocently as possible.

           “Something’s wrong,” Cas grunted, twisting and trying to dig his fingers into his armpit and between his shoulder blades at the same time. “I can’t stop the itching!”

           Sam stood up with a frown. “Did you use a new soap or something?”

           “No, the same one I always do!” Cas cried and growled as he scratched at his ribs. “It’s infuriating!”

           “Where exactly do you itch?” Sam asked.

           “All over!” Cas snapped then let out a distressed growl and was forced to scratch his crotch. Dean had to cough to hide his smirk.

           “Even there?” he asked.

           “Yes, even there!” Cas cried then noticed the hunter smiling. “Dean! This isn’t funny! It could be a curse!”

           That broke through Dean’s ‘professional’ exterior and he folded in half, laughing uproariously.

           “Dean!” Sam snapped. “Seriously?”

           “I’m sorry, I can’t, it’s just too good!” Dean got out between laughs, wiping his eyes. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing serious.”

           “Wait,” Sam glanced between Cas, still scratching desperately, and his laughing brother and seemed to put two-and-two together. He gave an exasperated sigh. “Oh my god, Dean, you didn’t put itching powder in his clothes.”

           Dean only grinned with a snort. “I did!” and then he started to laugh harder.

           Cas gave him a look of betrayal and Sam grabbed the ex-angel’s arm, steering him back toward the dormitory ward. “Why are you perpetually five?” Sam demanded with a longsuffering look. “Come on, Cas, just go take a rinse off in the shower. I’ll grab you some clean clothes that I’ll make sure Dean doesn’t touch.”

           Dean worked on calming his laughter. Sure, it had been a mean prank, but the look on Cas’ face… Priceless!

           Sam came back a few moments later with a bitchface, arms crossed over his chest. “Come on, man, I know we’re all stir crazy, but you don’t have to torture Cas.”

           “Stop being so protective,” Dean said. “Cas can handle a little pranking here and there, he’s a big boy.”

           Sam shook his head, but looked up as Cas reappeared in clean clothes, his brow still furrowed.

           Sam cast Dean a look and the older man finally sighed. “Alright, fine. Cas, no hard feelings, right?”

           The ex-angel just shook his head. “No, Dean, of course not.”

           Both Sam and Dean looked at him with a little surprise. Sam looked like he was going to say something but Dean shrugged. “Well, okay then. I guess I’m going to the store now.”

           He grabbed his jacket and headed out to the garage.

           As soon as he was gone, Sam turned to Cas. “You know Dean’s just a jerk and he means it all in good fun.”

           Cas smiled slightly as he bent to pick up Trouble who was rubbing against his legs. “I am aware of the custom of pranking. Humans aren’t the only ones who do it. After all, Gabriel was my older brother.”

           Sam chuckled slightly, shrugging in acknowledgement.

           “So,” Cas said. “I believe retribution is part of it, correct?”

           Sam grinned, seeing where the angel is going. “Typically, yeah.”

           Cas grinned back. “Then I think we have some planning to do.”

***

Dean woke up the next morning and turned his alarm off before he rolled out of bed with a yawn. He rubbed his eyes and went to the shower room stripping out of his sleep clothes and stepping into the shower once the water got to be the right temperature. He sighed in contentment as he felt the hot water wash over him. He decided that today he was going to put in an extra effort to find a case, even if it was just something remotely weird. The only thing he was sure of was that he was not going to get roped into another day of filing. Yuck.

           He thought he heard the door to the room open and frowned, hands in his sudsy hair. “Sam?” he called.

           There was no answer though, so he shrugged it off and finished washing up.

           He stepped out of the shower, reaching for a towel and coming away with just a washcloth. Dean cast around the room, looking for more towels and saw none. Okay, he was sure he had put one within reach…

           He dried off as much as possible with the tiny washcloth and then glanced down at the spot his sleep clothes had been, figuring he could just throw his pajama pants on again, but…they weren’t there.

           “Son of a bitch,” he growled, knowing now that Sam or Cas had come in here after all. Maybe one of them was on a laundry kick and had taken his clothes. And his clothes. And all the towels.

           Dean huffed as he covered himself as much as he could with the washcloth and hurried from the shower room to his own room. He tossed the washcloth aside and went to his drawers.

           But when he opened them he cursed again. What. The. Hell.

           The only thing left in his drawers were the pair of cutoffs (the short ones) that he wore when he washed the car, and a pink t-shirt he had never seen before that had been cut into a crop top. Alright, if this is how they were gonna play it…

           Dean put the shorts on, and grabbed the pink crop top before storming out of his room.

           “Sam!” he cried. “This isn’t funny! Where the hell are my clothes?”

           Snickering could be heard from the library and he stormed in there, only to be met by a flash.

           “Say cheese!” Sam grinned, holding up his phone to take another picture.

           “Dude, what the hell? Stop taking pictures!” Dean snarled, lunging forward to wrestle with Sam for the phone. Another flash came from behind them and Dean spun around to see Cas holding up his own phone.

           “Really, you too?”

           Cas shrugged with a small smile. “At least it wasn’t itching powder, Dean.”

           “You guys suck,” Dean grunted, throwing the pink shirt at Sam. “Alright, I get it. I yield,” he added, holding up his hands.

           Sam and Cas shared a look. “What do you think?” Sam asked.

           “Well, it was amusing, but…” Cas cast a look at Dean’s outfit, or rather, lack thereof, making a face.

           Sam cringed. “Yeah, we’re gonna have to look at him dressed in that all day. I mean, that’s more punishment for us.”

           “Oh, funny,” Dean snorted, folding his arms self-consciously across his still damp bare chest.

           “Okay,” Cas gave in and motioned to a laundry basket set against the bookshelves. Dean went over to it and grabbed his clothes, heading back to his room to change.

           Sam and Cas grinned at each other and laughed. “Phase one complete,” Sam whispered.

***

Dean threw his pile of clotheson his bed and grabbed his jeans and a t-shirt and flannel. He combed his still wet hair into some semblance and then reached for his deodorant.

           He knew something was wrong the instant it touched his armpit. It was cold and slimy.

           “Ugh!” Dean cried and pulled it from under his shirt, inspecting the deodorant stick. It didn’t look right, kind of yellow. He brought it to his nose.

           “Butter? Seriously? Who does that?” he demanded and tugged his shirt off, wiping the greasy substance from his skin.

           He stormed back out to the kitchen. “You guys know it’s on you that I didn’t put deodorant on today!”

           “Don’t worry, I got you a new one,” Sam told him as Dean came into the kitchen and then motioned to a pastry box on the table. “Now that that’s over, how about a doughnut?”

           “Doughnuts?” Dean asked, eyeing the box skeptically.

           Cas nodded and pushed the box over. “A peace offering.”

           Dean looked between them and then Trouble who was watching him with almost a smirk on his face.

           He really should have listened to his better judgment and not taken a doughnut, but…doughnuts!

           Dean sighed and sat at the table, picking up a cream-filled one. “Alright, well, thanks.” He said and took a big bite.

           He instantly spit it out, choking. “What the hell? Have these gone bad or something?”

           Sam and Cas were laughing. Dean growled and threw the rest of the disgusting doughnut at his brother’s head, which Sam dodged expertly. “That’s disgusting!”

           “Maybe you should try a jelly one instead,” Cas said with such sincerity that, damn him, Dean actually picked one up and bit it.

           Something salty filled his mouth and he got up and ran to the sink to spit. “Ugh! Ketchup? Really?”

           “And mayonnaise,” Cas added, nodding to the other discarded doughnut.

           Dean growled at them and hurried to the fridge grabbing the orange juice and pouring a big glass. He’d already chugged a big mouthful of it before he was back at the sink spitting out the disgusting substance. “Oh my god, what is that?” he demanded, turning on the sink and rinsing his mouth out.

           Sam and Cas were in stitches by now, the bastards. “It’s the cheese powder from the box macaroni,” Sam offered.

           “That’s disgusting!” Dean snapped, but all he got from them was continued laughter.

           Finally, he grunted and shook his head. “Okay, okay, I get it. Warning accepted. Cas, I’m sorry I put itching powder in your clothes. I think we should all agree that a prank war between the three of us is a bad idea. But can we stop it right now before we end up burning the bunker down or something?”

           Sam and Cas shared a look and shrugged. “I accept your apology, Dean,” Cas said, still grinning. “Just don’t forget it.”

           “Yeah, not likely to.”

           Sam’s phone buzzed and he glanced at the screen. “Hey, looks like Jody found us a case.”

           “Thank god,” Dean groaned. “Let’s get out of here!”

           “Also, she loves the new look, Dean.”

           “New look…?” Sam turned his phone around to show the text thread with the picture of Dean in the cutoffs, angrily waving the pink shirt. “You bastard!” Dean snarled.

           “She wanted to know if you do parties.”

           “Screw you, bitch,” Dean snapped and stormed off to his room to pack, reconsidering his truce already.

           Once he was gone, Cas turned to Sam. “Should we tell him about how we distressed the seems in his pants?”

           Sam hesitated, but grinned. “Nah, let’s leave that for him to figure out himself.”

           Cas grinned in return and the two followed Dean out to the car.

[trashpandaorigins]

Groot Steve Rocket Bucky Scenes from a Life: Incorrect Quotes, Scenes and Dialogues Part 1

From the team that brought you The Shrapnel in Your Heart, who really should have had their Tumblr messenger apps taken away by now, comes an intimate portrayal of a retired life of leisure, except for when it’s not. Based on the ridiculous head-canon that Groot, Steve, Rocket and Bucky all live together in a New York City apartment after Infinity War. From misadventures, pranks, and drinking shenanigans to harrowing reckonings of their past, Groot, Steve, Rocket and Bucky will eventually carve out an odd little family for themselves. That is, if they don’t kill each other first. A series of incorrect quotes, flash fics and funny scenes/dialogues. Lots of humor and fluff, some angst….okay, moderate amounts of angst.

Read the entire GSRB Scenes from a Life Series on A03

Check out the work of my partner in crime at Skarabrae_stone on A03 and follow them here @captaintoomanybattles 

Bucky: *Gasp* You’re not the raccoon I befriended! I’m divorcing from this friendship!

Rocket: You know what, fine! I’m leaving and I’m taking Steve and Groot with me!

Bucky: You leave them out of this!

*Steve and Groot look at each other*

Steve: Maybe we should stop playing Monopoly…

Steve: What happened this time?

Bucky: He stuck his tail in the vacuum nozzle.

Rocket: You made me do it!

Bucky: No, I said, ‘Don’t stick your tail in the vacuum nozzle, Rocket’, and you said, ‘don’t tell me what to do, Bucky,’ and stuck it in there!

Steve: Where are you two going?

Bucky: We’re taking a page from your book, Stevie. We’re going to volunteer at the park!

Rocket: Or commit arson, possibly robbery and identity theft.

Bucky: We’ll decide on the way there.

*Steve and Rocket come home all bruised up; they’ve obviously been fighting.*

Bucky: Steve, we talked about this! You can’t just go starting bar fights! You better have a real good reason—

Steve: Some asshole called Rocket a raccoon.

Bucky: Yeah, okay, I can accept that.

2 Hours Earlier:

“Excuse me.”

Steve looked up from his beer at the large bar owner who loomed over him. He wants to start trouble. Steve could read it easily in the way the man’s eyes scanned him.

“Yes?” He forced himself to be polite.

“You need to take your pet outside. It can’t be in here, it’s a violation of the health code."

Steve’s blood pressure rose, knuckles turning white as he held the bottle in his fist. “He’s not my pet,” he corrected.

The bar man's small eyes looked down at Rocket, and he raised a brow. “Look, the raccoon has to go.”

Steve stood, finishing his beer. “I’m gonna have to ask you to refrain from calling my friend here a raccoon.”

The man scrutinized Rocket with a bewildered, critical eye.

“It’s fine, Steve,” Rocket slurred, defeated and already three sheets to the wind. “It’s nothing I ain’t heard before.”

Steve frowned.

“Listen.” The man stepped closer, breath reeking of liquor in Steve’s face. “You and your 6th grade science experiment…”

Steve’s fist slammed into the man’s face, his nose crunching painfully as he was knocked backward. Sorry Bucky, Steve thought, regarding his promise to not start anymore fights.

The man recovered, shaking hand held to his bloody nose, and Steve braced himself. Alright, so this is how it’s going to be. Why couldn’t people just take no for an answer? Why did everything have to end in a fight? He almost smirked to himself. ...but if it must you can count on good ole’ Captain America to fight the good fight. Maybe Bucky was right. Maybe he could ditch the label all he wanted, but in his heart he still held a righteous fury.

Bucky: Steve, what are those scratches on your back?

*Flashback to Steve taking the trash out and Rocket jumping out and landing on his back as he runs around screaming trying to pry him off.*

Steve: I’m having an affair.

*Steve and Bucky come home after a date night. They find Rocket in an animal trap on their kitchen floor*

Steve: Oh my God, Rocket! Are you okay? What happened?

Rocket: Someone called the exterminator!!!

Bucky: I knew we should’ve told the landlord about him.

Rocket: * Visibly offended* Wait, you didn’t tell your landlord I was your new roommate? You know, I’m beginning to question the legitimacy of this friendship.

Steve: Is Groot still in the shower?

Rocket: Yeah, why?

Steve: Well, he’s just been in there for a while.

Rocket: He’s a growing boy! He needs to stay hydrated!

Steve: Yeah, but don’t you think two days is a little excessive?

Rocket: Stop feeding him Miracle Grow, he’s gonna get spoiled!

Bucky: *Looks offended and hugs Groot’s pot* Don’t talk to me or my adoptive son ever again!

*Watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail *

French Knight: Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

Bucky: Hey Groot, he’s talking about you!

*Driving in the car*

Bucky: Steeeve! Rocket’s trying to take my arm!

Rocket: Bucky pointed to some roadkill and said, ‘Look Rocket, that’s you’!”

Steve: So help me, you two, I will turn this car around and we will not get milkshakes.

*Both silent*

Steve: Hi, I’m Steve Rogers. I live with my boyfriend and our roommate and his son—

Rocket: *Shouting from the other room* He’s not my son!

Bucky: *Also in the other room* How dare you say that?! See, this is why I should have sole custody of Groot!

Rocket: You can have full custody when you start paying me back for all the pots and weed killers you bought him!

Bucky: You said we’d be in this together!

Steve: … there’s never a dull moment.

Groot: I am Groot?

Steve: No, you can’t have my car keys.

Groot: I am Groot ?

Steve: You have to wait ‘til you’re sixteen.

Groot: I am Groot!

Steve: I know your life cycle works differently, but those are the rules. You have to have a learner’s permit—

Groot: I am Groot.

Steve: Driving a spaceship doesn’t count! There’s nothing to bump into up there!

Groot: I am Groot!

Rocket : *In the background* That was ONE time!

*Bucky walks into teen Groot’s room. He’s watching a nature documentary about flowers and pollination.*

Bucky: Hey Groot, where’s the…

Groot: “...and so the tree releases it’s pollen...*Slamming laptop shut* I AM GROOT!

Bucky: Oh God… STEVE! PUT ME BACK IN CRYO! I MEAN IT THIS TIME!

Steve: Why?

Bucky: ASK GROOT!

Bucky: Rocket, I want you to meet a friend of mine. She’s really sweet and just your type.

*It’s a regular fox*

Rocket: H…hey there, nice to meet you. You, your fur is umm...really red...it..it looks nice.

Steve: This is mean. I’m gonna tell him.

Bucky: Don’t you dare!

*Rocket says he’s going to get decorative wall hangings for the apartment. Bucky comes home and sees he bought those letters you hang on the wall to spell things. It’s all the trigger words.*

Bucky: I swear, I’m going to turn you into a hat!

Bucky: Rocket, those scientists called! They want to know if you’ve gotten your rabies shot yet!

Rocket: I’ll give you rabies!

Steve: Please don’t, the last time you two fought we had to move…..again.

Rocket: Wait, you have a holiday where you just blow stuff up?

Steve: What? No!

Bucky: Yep! AND it’s Steve’s birthday.

Steve: YOU’RE NOT HELPING!

*Steve wakes up in the middle of the night, panicked, to the sound of gunshots*.

Steve: Bucky? You okay?!

Rocket: Hold still!

*Bucky is spinning around balancing an apple on his head while Rocket tries to shoot it off*

Bucky: What kind of shot are you if you can’t hit a moving target?!

Steve: One of you is gonna kill the other and I’m not driving you to the hospital.

*Fast forward to Bucky holding a cloth to his head in the back of the car while Steve comforts him. Groot is driving.*

Bucky: You said you wouldn’t miss!

Rocket: I didn’t! You moved at the last second!

Steve: GROOT, IT’S RIGHT ON RED, NOT LEFT!

*They careen through an intersection*

Groot: I am Groot?

Bucky: Yeah, it’s really gorey, wanna see?

Steve: NO! Eyes on the road!

Bucky: Damn raccoon shot me!

Rocket: *Whirling around* Call me a raccoon one more time and I’ll shoot you again!

Steve: Rocket, make sure Groot doesn’t kill us. Groot, stop signs are rules not suggestions. Bucky, stop moving, you’ll bleed more.  YOU ARE ALL WALKING ON VERY THIN ICE.

Bucky: Fucking animal is colorblind!

Rocket: DON’T MAKE ME COME BACK THERE!

Steve: Bucky, hold still! This is the last time you two play with guns in the house!

Bucky: Rodent, I will toss you out this skylight and you will be roadkill on the side of the street!

Rocket: YEA GOOD LUCK DOING THAT WITH YOUR ONE ARM!

Steve: *Looks at Groot* We’re all gonna die.

Rocket: It’s so sad Bucky died

Bucky: *From the other room* Quit telling everyone I’m dead!

Rocket: Sometimes I can still hear his voice.

Bucky: I’M NOT DEAD

Bucky: Hey, psst Rocket, want to make some extra money?

Rocket: Do I ever!

*Bucky stands outside a makeshift enclosure with Rocket inside. Sign reads ‘Petting Zoo.’*

Rocket: You are so dead when we are done with this.

Bucky: Shut up and play with the children.

Bucky: Rocket look! *Points to where raccoons are rummaging around in the trash can behind the apartment.*

Rocket: What the hell is that?

Bucky: *Trying not to laugh* It’s….it’s you buddy.

Rocket: That is...that is not me.

Bucky: Say hello to your baby brother!

Rocket: Barnes I swear to god…

Bucky: *Pulls out a camera* Go stand next to him! I want a picture! This is going in the album.

Steve: You have an album?

Bucky: Well duh. Rocket, see if you can get it to smile!

Rocket: How the hell am I supposed to do that?!

Bucky: I dunno, growl or something? Speak the language of your people!

Rocket: They didn’t teach me no linguistics in experimentation torture school Barnes!

Steve: Bucky…

Bucky: Huh, that’s weird because that’s definitely a part of what they taught me.

Rocket: *Goes over and tries to communicate with the raccoons.*

Steve: *Face palms*

*Finally the raccoon sniffs Rocket totally looking cute and Rocket growls at it.*

Bucky: *Click* Ohhh! This is so cute, you look just like twins! This is going in the album!

[domhnutwick]

Star Wars - Halloween Theme:

Poe: always proud of his costume Finn: always proud of his friends and their costumes Padmé: always keeps her costume a secret and makes sure she's the best dressed. Makes sure she socializes with everyone Lando: always competing to be the best dressed Scorch: ordering pizza, cracking jokes, playing pranks Jyn: no chill or time for this night Leia: supportive of friends and helps them prepare their outfits before completing hers Revan: dresses up as the bad guy, but is an absolute marshmallow underneath handing out their sweets to their friends Boss: was paid to babysit Bastila: bitches all night Cassian: has a house party with his friends and keeps his home open for others to join in Rey: the perfect time to hang out with friends late at night Han: "What do you mean it's not an actual costume? I'm sexy, aren't I?" Atton: "What do you mean it's not an actual costume? I'm sexy, aren't I?" Chewie: doesn't brush hair for a week and claims that's his costume Bodhi: always worried what people are going to think of his costume but as soon as he sees someone else with a bad costume he relaxes Sev: in on a prank with Scorch, gets drunk, tries to hitchhike his way home, is kidnapped Kreia: chases kids all night off her lawn - always gets TP'd Zaalbar: just adds an extra weapon each year Phasma: wears the same costume every Halloween T3-M4: keeps telling everyone how they can improve their costumes next year, can’t understand why people get angry Rae: makes sure everyone is being responsible, always makes a costume for Armitage. HK-47: literally threatens to kill everyone who questions his costume Krennic: planned for the event months ago with close friends. Sulks the entire night when Galen cancels last minute. Galen: always prefers to stay at home and cook something special. Can only think of a proper excuse at the last minute to avoid seeing Krennic. Atris: criticizes everyone, gets drunk, goes full SJW Fixer: dresses up with friends, tells on them when they're up to shit Nihilus: makes up a language, claiming to be possessed Brendol: constantly receiving a bitch slap from Rae Sion: always shirtless to show how much he's been going to the gym. Always messes up Kreia's house Chirrut: dresses up as Blind Al Qui-Gon: hands people health snacks and tells them why he wishes his parents didn't give him sweets on Halloween. Points out cavities that could have been fixed long ago, but then he wouldn’t be able to tell the story next year. Canderous: always dresses up as different variations of Cable from the X-Men Anakin: always forgets Halloween until the day before. always tries to find out what Padmé is wearing the night before. Always sneaks into her room to find out what she's working on. Always puts together a costume on the day. Always says "Wow, Padmé. We match. What a coincidence" Carth: another year dressed as a soldier, but with a different heart-breaking story Luke: "I didn't have the money to fully dress up, but I made use of what I had around the house" Bao-Dur: always takes suggestions from friends K-2SO: tells everyone he's having a miserable time, is actually having fun Mira: "I know my cosplay is amazing. I have taken photographs and will be selling them all night. I charge extra for a signature." Malak: loses his shit when everyone pays more attention to Revan. Rex: "I dressed like my brother" Mical: doesn't believe this day is good for the soul and stays away Saw: everyone's outside. No one's gonna bother him. Vape time. Maul: Pissed because Obi-Wan doesn't hang out with him on this night anymore. Runs around screaming "KENOBI!" Armitage: the kid who was never allowed to go Trick or Treating until Rae shows up, bitch slaps his father and is allowed out by Rae. Has to deal with Kylo bitching through texts all the night. Hanharr: only goes out on the night if he can get something out of it. R2-D2: trash can Mission: "what do you mean I'm too young to dress like this? I'm 14!" Obi-Wan: doesn't put much effort into a costume - focuses more on what candy he can buy his friends. Baze: warns everyone that if they plan on giving Chirrut a jumpscare he'll murder them. Ends up giving Chirrut more sweets at the end of the night. Juhani: tries to pick fights, is given a snickers bar Sheev: spreads rumors all night about a kid he got expelled from school. Ahsoka: puts a little more effort into costume each year, but helps Obi-Wan's cause Brianna: just wants to show off what she learned in martial arts this year Visas: whips out the crystal ball, tarot cards, and incense to get people to come over and tell them their future Tarkin: sits on a lawn chair all night sipping on tea under his home's front tree - which is covered in toilet paper. no more fucks given. Grievous: tries to pick fights all night, asthma kicks in Mothma: spends the night communicating with everyone's parents to get to know them. Avoids Krennic, Brendol, Rae, Anakin, Tarkin, and Sheev. G0-T0: sits in the dark in the attic, watching everyone from the window BB-8: each year a different kind of dog Meetra: wears a fake sword that looks as if they've been stabbed from behind. Walks around all night with a look of horror on face. Kylo: the kid who was once grounded on Halloween, wasn't allowed out and got TP'd by Finn and Poe where Rey witnessed it all. Reads Stephen King and listens to Lacuna Coil all night. Dooku: forced to hang out another year with Sheev. Done with life. C-3PO: "You probably don't recognize me because of the red ___" a different red limb each year Jolee: goes on about how Halloween was back in his day Beru and Owen: reigning champs.