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yandere-daze · 2 years

Note

hello!! i dont know if your request is still open, so get to this anytime!! this is also my 1st time requesting on your blog! can i request yandere ritsu for prompt 100? thank you :D

You sure can! First time writing a scenario again after a long time so I hope you enjoy ^^ I´ll have to admit that I´m not all too confident about this one but thought I should still post it in case you guys liked it more than I did

Also a very fitting prompt for Ritsu!

1105 words

gn reader

tw yandere, obsession, kidnapping, possessiveness, jealousy, biting, blood, being kissed without consent

"I will kiss you until your lips bleed. Just let me have this, I wanted to do this for so long."

It was dark all around you when you felt your consciousness return to you. For a moment you were confused, not understanding what had happened. Where were you and why couldn´t you see a single thing?

And more importantly, why did you feel a heavy weight resting on your lap? You had been too distracted by the darkness and the throbbing pain in your head to notice at first but no matter how you tried, you just couldn´t find the strength to get up and whatever was lying on top of you in the first place seemed to have no intentions of budging any time soon.

Instead, your struggling and shifting proved to be in vain when you heard a quiet whine escape the mouth of who you had now identified as a person. You weren´t quite sure who this stranger was so you held your breath in anticipation of what was about to happen. You didn´t know if you were in immediate danger but waking up in a completely dark room wasn´t a very good sign in your opinion. Just where were you and who was that person? You couldn´t help but think that the noise they let out was somehow familiar to you. How strange.

But you wouldn´t be kept in the dark for much longer as the voice once again spoke up, removing all doubts about who this person could be.

“Ne, y/n stop moving around so much and just lie back. You´re a way better human pillow when you´re staying still. How am I supposed to take a nap when you´re fidgeting all the time? There´s no reason to be nervous around your dear Ritsu~”

Well, that cleared things up. At least a tiny amount. Now you knew that you hadn´t been kidnapped by some sort of creepy stranger but you weren´t quite satisfied yet. You still had no idea how you had gotten here or what you were even doing here.

“Ritsu, just where are we?”

There was a moment of silence until Ritsu shifted a bit and rolled on his back so that he was now looking up at you, a small smile on his face.

“We´re home.”

“Home?”, was all you could respond. “This doesn´t look anywhere close to my house. And why is it so dark here anyway?”

You didn´t understand why he couldn´t just directly tell you what was going on instead of giving you vague answers. But you soon realized that maybe it would have been better if you had stayed oblivious.

Ritsu just chuckled, clearly amused by your confused expression.

“Silly y/n, that house isn´t your true home. This is. We´re at my house where we´re going to spend the rest of your lives together, naturally.”

He said it as if it had been obvious and you would have laughed if Ritsu didn´t look so serious about this behind his smile. You could see it in his eyes, they held some sort of deep emotion that you couldn´t quite place or maybe you just didn´t want to.

“Ritsu I don´t understand, what are you talking about, this-”, you started but were quickly interrupted by a sigh from Ritsu.

“Oh, I think you can understand perfectly fine. Did you really think I would just turn a blind eye to you spending so much time with my brother behind my back? You know how much I hate it when you spend time with other people, you´re supposed to be only mine, alright? So I just decided to take you for my own to make sure no one else is going to interfere ever again.”

You were quite horrified, to say the least, not wanting to believe what you were hearing. Did he truly mean to imply that he kidnapped you so you won´t see any person aside from him? Could he hear himself talk?? You always knew that Ritsu could be pretty clingy and you thought it was sort of cute in the past but never could you have guessed that he would go so far.

“Speechless, huh? Well you´re quite adorable like that~”

At this, Ritsu chuckled once more and shifted even closer to you, if that was even possible, and rose from his lying position to instead move right in front of you, still firmly holding you down by sitting on your lap.

“You know y/n, you´re so cruel to me. I love you so much and yet you keep paying attention to other unimportant people. You´re the only person I think about, the only person I´ll ever need, so why can´t you just do the same? You don´t need anyone else as long as we´re together. I´m yours and you´re mine”

He finishes his sentence by leaning over and placing a kiss on your forehead, leaving you in a mix of surprise, embarrassment and fear. You tried putting some space between the both of you by pushing at Ritsu´s chest but the other wouldn´t budge, instead only leaning in more so his heavy, warm breath was fanning against your face.

“Ritsu, please let´s just talk about this! I don´t think this is a good idea so-”, you once again tried to reason with who you had formerly considered your friend but were quickly cut off again.

“No.”, Ritsu interrupted you, his voice having lost its playful tone in an instant.

“I will kiss you until your lips bleed. Just let me have this, I wanted to do this for so long. Maybe then you´ll finally realize that we´re meant to be together. I´ll leave your lips all bloody and marked up so you´ll always remember that I´m yours.”

And without waiting for your reply, Ritsu leaned in and firmly pressed his lips against yours as they moved almost desperately as if he feared you would disappear the second he backed away. You felt paralyzed as you felt a sudden wave of slight pain wash over you and your lips stung from what you could only assume was Ritsu grazing them with his sharp pointy teeth. Right in this very moment, he really did look like a vampire with the way he looked at you with lovestruck eyes as your red blood slowly dripped down from his teeth.

Using his tongue to lick away the blood with a dreamy sigh, he leaned in once again, very eager to keep kissing you.

“You´re mine, all mine”, he purred delightfully, “I´ll never let you go for as long as I live. We´ll be together forever. No one is going to ever steal you away from me again, I won´t let them. So stay with me, okay?”

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lumenflowered · 8 months

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pelipper mail: a dream of kind touch.

You are in bed with her— not euphemistically, you don’t much care for the carnal, but the emotional intimacy is enough. You are wearing her clothes, a simple simple pajama top and shorts, but someday you want to buy your own clothes. To discard your noble title, to be…just Maria.

You’ve been thinking about a future with her.

“I think I’m losing you, Maria,” she says, face contorted in pain but trying to smile as she touches your face. “You’re so distant, sometimes, I…

“It’s like Yharnam never left you. I think it would be best if you returned.”

I ca n t'

Nonononon o no no I kn ow that I'm br oke n insi d e Iknow that I 'm barely e vne h u man an y mor e but I

I' m t ry i ng I k n w it isn t' enoug h but I"m

I wan t t o be bet ter

P lease I

#ooc: I honestly think this fucked her up more #ooc: than a nightmare would've :)#pelipper mail #musharna mail #rotomblr #pokeblogging #pokeblog rp #pokemon irl

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hobiiiiiworld · 2 years

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Hate Game | PJM + MYG - Chapter 5

⇢ Parting ways

Synopsis:

Onus

/ˈəʊnəs/

noun something that is one's duty or responsibility.

__________

Jimin loses his brother. His father loses his first born son, the heir of his company, leaving it up to Jimin to keep his father´s company in the Park family. Jimin would never have pictured himself marrying out of duty. However, Mr. Min, who only married Jimin so he could take over the company, isn´t exactly how Jimin pictured. Now, all he wants is to make Yoongi regret his decision to marry for money.

Pairing: Park Jimin x Min Yoongi | Kim Seokjin x Kim Namjoon

Genres: Marriage out of duty | Angst | Emotional Hurt

Word Count: 2,3K

TW: Jimin and Hoseok break up.

Notes: I FEEL SO BAD FOR HOSEOK I´M SO SORRY MY BOO I LOVE YOU

Read on Ao3

For the rest of the week, Jimin tries his best to get some piece of himself back before he has to return to work. He goes to the park, but ends up crying when a dog reminds him of their childhood pet that was named, fed and walked by Ji and Jimin. He tries to work out, but has to cut the session short when he hears a voice painfully similar to Ji´s and trips, hurting himself. Jimin even joins his friends to a jazz-bar on Wednesday, obviously initiated by the ever so elated Taehyung. The night ends when Jimin drinks one too many cosmopolitans and trows up in the ice-bucket.

Friday is spent mending his throbbing head and unsettled stomach, messaging Teahyung with promises that yesterday was the last time he will drink ever again, and catching up on TV-shows. By the time Hoseok comes back from work Jimin feels much better, almost back to normal.

While Hoseok is in the shower, Jimin decides to start dinner in the kitchen, which is where Hoseok finds him when he comes back. Hoseok´s hair is wet and the joggers hang low on his hips and his torso is glistening after his half-assed drying ritual, a lazy smile tugging on his lips as he moves over to Jimin. Normally, this sight would rile Jimin up, and normally they would forget about dinner, and normally Jimin would let Hoseok lead him to the bedroom. But normal isn't a state Jimin can remember anymore. Now, all he knows is how his chest clenches and his insides churn with resentment when he sees Hoseok.

"What can I do to help?" Hoseok asks, his hands going around Jimin´s waist as he takes a stance right behind him.

"Grabbing a shirt could be a start," Jimin mutters, continuing cutting the carrots as if Hoseok isn't kissing the curve of his neck.

"Why? Am I distracting you?" asks Hoseok, teasing.

"In fact, yes. And we have a dinner to make."

"We could always forget about dinner," Hoseok suggest as he slips his hand beneath Jimin´s shirt, pulling him closer. He keeps kissing, moving from the nape of Jimin´s neck to the shoulder. This whole thing wouldn't be annoying if Hoseok had dried himself off properly so Jimin´s shirt wasn't getting wet in the process.

Both of them can tell what Hoseok is after, but Jimin isn't in the headspace to go there. He grabs Hoseok´s hand to stop him.

"I'm not in the mood," Jimin says, turning back to the carrots.

"Sorry," Hoseok removes himself completely, disappearing from the kitchen for a few seconds before returning, dry and dressed this time. It's silent as they chop and boil and fry. Jimin doesn't want to speak because his headache has returned, and Hoseok doesn't know what he can say to Jimin that won't make him mad, and decides silence is the best option. Especially after the rejection. Hoseok sets the table as Jimin plates their food.

"How was your day?" Hoseok asks as soon as they're both sitting by the table.

"Long. I´ve had a headache and my stomach still isn't alright."

"So yesterday was fun, then?" Hoseok tries to humor Jimin, who would much rather eat in silence.

"Yes and no. I ended up drinking too much, Tae had to take me home." Jimin remembers a time he would have laughed and told a fun story about the night prior, even if it ended badly. He just can't get himself to do that, now.

"Good on Tae. I'm glad you have him."

"Yeah. What about your day?" asks Jimin.

"Listen, Jimin…" Hoseok hesitates, gaining Jimin´s attention. Hoseok is looking down at his plate, a concentrated frown apparent as he bites his lip. "I've been thinking about you a lot lately, and not just because of what happened with you brother, but also because… Well, I guess it's more about us than about you. Something's been stuck on my mind that maybe you can answer for me. I know…" he hesitates again, looking up. "Lately things have been so weird between us, and it feels like no matter what I do, it makes you mad. Like you might… hate me? I don't know. And I've tried to just push it away, because I know you don't hate me," Hoseok laughs bitterly. "But now, I don't even know what to think or do anymore. I'm not sure if it's just grief or if it's actually me anymore."

"Well... ehm…," Jimin sighs, realizing he can't postpone this any further. "I can't explain it, but every time I look at you something in me just snaps."

"So you do hate me?" Hoseok asks, voice trembling.

"It's not that I hate you. I love you. It's becoming very clear to me what I'm missing out on, and it sucks I have to let you go. All I can think about when I'm with you is how I won't have you for the rest of my life, even when I would want nothing else, you know? I feel everything I'm going to miss, and it angers how unfair this is." There is a slight pause where Jimin looks down. "Also, we should be letting each other go, but you're holding on too tight."

"You should have told me that, I would have listened," Hoseok says aspirated. "I thought you needed me now, more than ever, which is why I wanted to hold on. You just lost Ji, and I thought I did the right thin by not turning my back to you." Hoseok is staring at Jimin, eyes hard and lips turned to a tight line. "I would have stepped back if you asked me to."

"But even when I tried to tell you what I needed, you didn't listen," Jimin says, thinking back to the times he wished for Hoseok to just let him go. "What I needed wasn't you or your love, I needed you to listen to what I told you. When I said you should leave, I meant that. When I said I would miss you I didn't say that because I wanted you to stay, I said that because I didn't want to have to fight."

Hoseok is getting mad, Jimin doesn't even need to look at him to feel the tension in the room shifting to a suffocatingly thick tightness.

"You could have said that, then. Instead you have been pushing me away, without saying anything, making me feel awful and sad and annoying. It tried so hard being understanding and patient, and now you're telling me you've just been annoyed at me for that exact reason?"

"I've been hurting, Hoseok. And you can't tell me you've been trying when all you've done is keep yourself locked up in that fucking happy-bubble of yours, ignoring my feelings. You've been here, singing and smiling and laughing meanwhile I've been fucking miserable," Jimin says, voice getting louder as his frustration rises.

"I tried lightening the mood because you've been moping! Good to know my efforts have been useless."

"I´ve lost everything, Hoseok," Jimin gets up, needing an escape before he actually says something might regret. "So do not complain about me moping."

"You can't use that as an excuse for everything!" Hoseok shouts, standing up as well.

"Even now you won't fucking listen," Jimin scoffs, turning around.

What do you want me to do then?"

"I want you to fucking leave," Jimin says over his shoulder as he walks out of the kitchen.

And he does. Jimin doesn't even make it to the bedroom before Hoseok is out of the apartment, the sound of the door slamming stopping Jimin in his tracks. Hoseok actually left.

"Right," Jimin mutters, forcing himself to move. This is the best time to leave. The perfect time to part ways for good, never to see each other again. Now, he needs to get out of here before Hoseok comes back. Before he has to say goodbye face to face. Yes, this will be easier, leaving after a big fight. Maybe Hoseok can hate him and not feel as heartbroken that way.

Without thinking he calls his dad, who picks up. "Hey," he says happily.

"Jimin! I'm here with Yoongi, he says hello."

Jimin ignores the greeting, feeling enough as it is. "Do you think I could move in with you for a couple of weeks? Things here kind of blew up, and I don't think I should stay here." Jimin waits a couple of seconds for the reply, which doesn't come. "Hello?"

"What about you just move in with Yoongi right away? That way you won't have to move back and forth."

The suggestion is awful, and Jimin would rather move to the streets than move in with Yoongi any sooner than he has to. "What does Yoongi think about that?" Jimin asks, praying he will say no. Be the man I know you are, that I hope you are. Please, Jimin begs in his mind, kick me to the curb.

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind eve a little bit!"

"Alright. Can you send me Yoongi´s number?"

"Of course! Let me know if I can help with me move, alright?"

"Will do."

"And Jimin?" Jimin hums in reply. Jimin´s dad clears his throat. When he speaks next, his voice is low. "I'm sorry about all of this. I know you and Hoseok loved each other. Probably still do, right?"

"Right," Jimin says, blinking rapidly to stop the stinging of his eyes. "Bye dad."

The two of them hang up, and starts to pack his clothes into a bag. A couple of minutes late, Jimin gets a call from a number he doesn't have saved.

"Hello, this is Jimin," he says, an empty bag now in hand and the closet door opened.

"It's Yoongi," comes from the phone. "Your dad asked me if you could move in with me? Today? Apparently you have to move out?" Yoongi asks incredibly.

Jimin sighs."I didn't know he would suggest me moving in with you. Then, I wouldn't have said anything, believe you me."

"I was quite… ready for it myself, but he is my boss and father in law in the end, couldn't say no."

"Should have," Jimin mutters, which clearly goes unnoticed by Yoongi.

"Just so I know, how much stuff are you bringing?"

And Jimin is stupid, because why haven't he thought about the furniture and all their shared stuff. He bought the sofa with Hoseok. Same goes for the lamp and the bed and the nightstand and the cutlery and the pots and the pans. Everything is theirs. In a split second Jimin decides to leave it be. Hoseok can have it, Yoongi probably have all of these things anyway.

"A couple of bags."

"I´ll text you the address."

"Can't wait." Jimin hangs up like that.

An hour later Yoongi and Jimin are stood in the elevator, two bags and a suitcase by their feet, containing everything Jimin now owns. The elevator ride up the sixth floor feels endlessly long, both of them painlessly aware of how alone they are about to be. How intertwined their lives are about to be.

"Welcome home," Yoongi says as he opens the door for Jimin. Home is definitely not this place with it's gray walls and black furnitures and dark hallways. Home should be with the man Jimin just left, in their shared apartment with their future kids they always dreamed up together. Yoongi calling this home isn't like spreading salt in the wound. Not, it's like spreading chilling sauce in the wound, making his whole body feel hot and bothered and in pain.

Yoongi is looking at him, nodding his head impatiently, urging Jimin to walk through the doors. What Yoongi can't see is the regret Jimin is feeling on his body, and the fight he is currently having with his instinct to run away. Running away won't fix this. So, he nods back, picks up the bags and walk through the doors.

Yoongi gives him a quick tour of the apartment, each room the same gray color palette and minimalistic style He shows him the spare bedroom for last, which is a little bit of a mess. The bed is thankfully made, but there are boxes stacked against the wall and random shoes on the floor that are accompanies by books and pieces of clothing. Yoongi did definitely not expect Jimin here tonight.

And Jimin might have said something snarky if his throat wasn't closed up. This new home doesn't feel like a home at all.

Yoongi opens his mouth to say something, but is closes it quickly when the doorbell rings. Smiling to himself slightly, he walks to hallway. Curious, Jimin stays in the hallway, watching as Yoongi opens the door to a man in his early twenties with tattoos who smiles so brightly it almost lights up the whole room. The tattooed man bounces past the threshold, kissing Yoongi´s cheek.

"Honey I'm home!" he exclaims, holding up a white bag of takeaway. "Today I bring you your favorite." And Jimin notices the way Yoongi is smiling towards the man, and the way Yoongi seems to open himself up to this man in front of him, and the way he softens under his smile. This tattooed man isn't Yoongi´s friend. No, he has to be more.

The black hole in Jimin´s stomach is growing. Je just threw away his whole relationship meanwhile Yoongi clearly wouldn't have cared, having his own boyfriend. Carefully to not attract attention, he closes the door behind him and throws himself on the bed. It's no point in fighting the tears when they're breaking down his feeble attempts at emotional control like water breaks through thin paper. He never stood a chance.

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glosswave · 4 years

Text

idk if any of my old oomfs/mutuals are still active here, but hi. it’s been a while, i’m 20 and a man now. i’m big on kpop nsfw twt now.. lol

thx for all the attention i was given here, y’all made me ignore my homework luv u <3

#going thru and privating my selfies #bcs a bitch dont look like that no more #this isn t a return m just emotional

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sevenshadesofdrarry · 3 years

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Anthology Wrap-Up

Wrapping up our latest anthology, Seven Shades of Virtue, wishing you all a wonderful Drarry weekend 📚

⭐ Courage | The Death of Pride by @aedwritesfic/Adavison (M, 16,928)

Eight years after the war, Draco Malfoy has lost everything. All he has left is his pride and his son. The life he once envisioned for himself died a long time ago. Still grieving and terrified of failing as a parent, Draco must find a way to put aside his own pride and find the courage to reach out and ask for help.

”Amazing!! The emotions, the story everything is just beautiful”

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32962444 FFN: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13931712/1/Virtue-Courage-The-Death-of-Pride

⭐ Justice | Justice isn't blind but she kinda smells like hotdog water by @gildedscripture/susabei/Sandungera (G, 6,924)

It was on the hottest day of the summer that Draco Lucius Malfoy found himself on trial for the most heinous crime.

“Adorable!“ — “This is hilarious!!!“ — “Brilliant. Love it. :)“

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32906128 FFN: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13932308/1/Virtue-Justice-Justice-isn-t-blind-but

⭐ Charity | Dear Mr Evans by @ladderofyears (T, 16,448)

When the Ministry claims Draco Malfoy's fortune in reparations it seems that his future looks bleak. There is no possible way for him to afford the tuition fees or the living costs for a university education, even though a life spent healing others is his dearest wish. To his complete surprise an anonymous benefactor offers him both, as well as a stipend to live on. Even though his benefactor asks for nothing in return, Draco decides to write him letters. He tells Mr Evans about his life, his course and all of the people that he cares about. This is a story about the transformative effect of charity, and how it changes both Draco's, and Mr Evans's lives forever.

“Woaw... This fic is amazing, I loved it so much!!“

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32913598 FFN: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13932914/1/Virtue-Charity-Dear-Mr-Evans

⭐ Hope | It’s Okay to Not Be Okay by @janieohio (T, 8,552)

When Teddy goes off to Hogwarts, Harry has to fight off the depression that tries to set in. Thankfully, he has good friends like Draco there to remind him that he has a life of his own and that Teddy is not the only source of light in his life. Sometimes you have to make your own light, but sometimes you need some help remembering how to draw back the curtains.

“This was absolutely lovely” — “Thanks for this shiny bit of happiness”

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32903053 FFN: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13933434/1/Virtue-Hope-It-s-Okay-to-Not-Be-Okay

⭐ Prudence | Life Can't Be Lived By Reason Alone by @drarrymadhatterstuff (M, 13,481)

Hogwarts is having a five-year reunion, and everyone’s invited. Draco is overwhelmed and anxious, while Harry is resigned. When Harry sees Draco sneak out of the reunion, he knows there’s something wrong and follows him to the Room of Requirement. When the situation combusts, Hogwarts decides it’s had quite enough of their bickering to last a lifetime.

“This was perfect!“ — “so hot and beautiful”

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33030079 FFN: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13934054/1/Virtue-Prudence-Life-Can-t-Be-Lived-By-Reason-Alone

⭐ Temperance | Comfortable Habits by @jessica-doom (T, 7,734)

On the surface, of course Harry’s happy to have bumped into Draco Malfoy again. He feels giddy with anticipation for their breakfast “date” set for the next morning. He feels ready to move on. But, down in that place where his feelings truly live, there’s apprehension. There’s fear. As his counsellor would put it, there’s something “unresolved” — something he can’t leave unresolved.

“Oh oh oh... 💙 So much hope!”

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32905150 FFN: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13934617/1/Virtue-Temperance-Comfortable-Habits

⭐ Faith | Let There Be Light by @drarrelie (T, 10,926)

There’s a stranger standing in Draco’s bedroom, an unexpected visitor claiming to be Harry Potter. Only... this man is old. Isn’t the Boy Who Lived supposed to be Draco’s age? And what in Salazar’s name is he even talking about?

“Ohhhhh my gods, this was absolutely perfect!”

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32810008 FFN: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13935168/1/Virtue-Faith-Let-There-Be-Light

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pffbts · 3 years

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↬genre: slice of life; fluff ; crack; hint of a love triangle ; loads of tension.

↬characters: jealous!wen junhui x reader | support: kim mingyu (plays a big role)

↬w.c: 4K

↬author`s note: sorry for the delay but this is basically junhui making your knees weak or you just want to beat his ass. this fic can go two ways―it`s yours to decide. also this is a re-write because the last attempt wasn`t reaching my heart. so i`m writing this again :) hope you enjoy this read! (btw i would strongly suggest you to read mingyu`s version before you jump onto this)

↬synopsis: there are 13 boys who lives in your town where each of them have each of their own colours. some you know in person & some from afar so one day you sat down deciding to describe each of their colours absorbing all of their goodness and all of their flaws. you wondered what if someone in some other town ever thought of questioning when they looked at these boys, that―what if we lived in the same town?

[03:37 PM] [meet him at the dawn & he`ll take you to places you`ve never seen]

―standing opposite of the road, that day you saw him getting out of the newly opened chinese restaurant of the town. he was wearing a white shirt with two of the top buttons undone, the edges carelessly tucked in a freshly washed denim jeans to wind up with it. dashing as always, junhui had spared a listless glance at you and with his shoulders wide, he tucked his palms into both of his jean`s pockets.

you, on the other hand, didn`t smile at him but rather let your eyes widen a bit unconsciously. in split second, when you realized what had happened, you retreated back from keeping any kind of eye contact with him.

from the corner of your eyes, you could somehow make out that he was clearly smirking on his own. his little smirk was so palpable that it traverse through the air stirring up something in you along with the sudden heat splashing across your cheeks & neck. that feeling didn`t leave your body and waited a long time to fade until you finally reached back home.

you didn`t know much about junhui, as a matter of fact. surely you`ve seen him once in a while but that was it. you didn`t know what kind of person he was exactly apart from the fact that he was extremely beautiful. he was, if you weren`t mistaken, quite a silent heartthrob of the town.

he also, isn`t the type to talk much. that is to say, you have never seen him talk whenever you`ve spotted him on the street or anywhere in the local market. he didn`t study at your school and his place too, was far from your own so spotting him at your street wasn`t a regular thing until one fine day it happened out of nowhere.

you were out to go rent some dvd because the dvd player had been sitting under dust for a long time at your place. it was one of those day when iconic black and white movies which both you and your mother were equally fond of clenches you two in its tight hold so she gave you a little push to go grab some mutual favourites from the dvd rent shop down the street.

wearing a soft pink shorts and a white shirt typically bigger for your built, you walked out of your place to the dvd rent shop. swinging both of your arms on your side, you did a few little skips while walking. it was quite evident that you were in good spirit and why shouldn`t you be? a movie night and your mother was making your favourite dish tonight being the combo treat is not something of a regular thing in this household.

long after walking, you stood in front of the shop. keeping your eyes on the open sign, you push the door inside and soon you heard a peal of laughter already filling up the shop to the brim of it.

the laughter was as if it welcomed you to the shop but for some reason, you could recognize a single voice among the two.

you stop for a second, slowing down the motion of you closing the door and kept on listening to the laughters. in the slip of a quick second, you recognized it to be mingyu`s but you couldn`t see him right away.

whipping your head around, you tried detecting the direction from which it came until you heard a cough from the part-timer and the growing string of your attention rips right then.

bowing a bit to the part-timer who worked at the cash counter, you slowly walked through the shelves filled with all kind of dvds. your ears were perked up at the sound of giggles and laughter now a little bit on a lower note.

the part-timer probably sent the owner of those laughters a warning glance to maintain the silence.

you, on the other hand, still couldn`t find the movie you were looking for. walking listlessly, your eyes staring up and down the rows of shelves soon your back makes a sudden contact with something hard and warm.

for a moment you thought it would be mingyu and a lift at the corner of your mouth surfaces.

turning your neck around, you had to crane it up a bit to look at whom you stumbled upon considering in your head you thought it would be mingyu probably playing around with you and with his gigantic height your actions were sort of a reflex.

but as soon as you realized whom you stumbled onto, you quickly turned around and jumped three feet away from him.

“oh?”, with wide eyes junhui watches you jump back and then as he leans a bit by putting up one of his palm, he finally greets you, “hi.” the wide of his eyes cease within seconds replacing them into soft creases around the corners.

his voice carried an essence of mirth and from the looks of it, he clearly recognized you considering he has seen you quite a few times ― sometimes even when you`re not aware of his presence.

you bow a bit and give him a crooked smile although your eyes were so nervous, it couldn`t keep a single second of contact with his own until your eyes fixated on something familiar―it was the head peaking from behind junhui―of mingyu`s.

a wave of relief ran through your system as you, instead of returning junhui`s wave, put up your own palm and greeted mingyu. your friend`s eyes turn into crescents as he comes from behind the boy you just met and places his own palm against yours. you smiled up at him and he returns it as always.

seeing how junhui was left behind, mingyu turned around and stood next to you while placing his arm around your shoulder. a very familiar act. nothing you should be surprised of at this point.

“jun, meet_____, she lives across my street.”

you bow at junhui again. but in your head, you were wondering how did mingyu know him. at school, you`ve not really seen him around your friend and you, yourself haven`t really seen him that much. but without any further wait, mingyu answers the said question in your head.

“_____ meet wen junhui. he got transferred to our school few weeks ago and has newly joined the basketball team last week! have you seen him?”

“ah no―i think?” you answer back very unsure of your fading memory.

“mingyu said that you are quite a regular at the bleachers cheering for this buddy right here,” junhui speaks up for a first time after all this while. he pointed at mingyu while he utters those last words.

you flushed a bit at the mention of you being at the bleachers while you watch mingyu play. but it`s just, you are always there to support your friend. you don`t really make any sound while you`re at it though. most days, you just sit back and watch mingyu play. it`s not a secret that you very much adore his basketball skills.

“it`s nothing really..,” you squeeze out a carefree laughter although it ended up sounding like a nervous one, “i just…watch and,” with a shrug you continue, “maybe clap sometimes.”

junhui only chuckles as you finish. it looked like as if he caught you in your act. it really wasn`t looking nice for you now but at least you had mingyu`s arm around you so you stopped feeling a bit out of place, plus junhui was clearly a stranger. why must you care so much for what he thought?

“but even that bit is enough. after all, ______ & me, we`ve been friends since childhood. our mothers are best friends too! we even get to have weekly get-togethers every sundays.”

as new information for junhui`s ear comes to surface, you quickly looked over at him who now wore an indifferent expression as if somewhat a spark of jealousy lay across his chest. but when he saw you looking at him, he caught your gaze with his warm ones with that very recognizable smirk climbing onto his mouth making you think that he is clearly skilled at hiding his sudden change of emotions.

you stare at him for a good few seconds, feeling yourself getting braver as you have already caught him slip his cool awhile ago. clearly, in junhui`s head, he really didn`t want mingyu to continue so he spoke up.

“that`s good to know. but the question is will i get an invite someday?” he was asking mingyu the question but his eyes were all on you and at the same time he was observing how mingyu`s attention never faltered from upon your face.

you finally looked up to meet with your friend`s eyes on you and with one of his brows perked up, mingyu asked you as you did so, “that sounds good, doesn`t it? we should talk to our mothers for a permission though?”

you nod and add, “sure, that doesn`t sound bad. the more the merrier.”

absolutely not, you think back in your head, you definitely don`t like lots of people around you. no offense to junhui but you`re not exactly good with strangers or people in general.

“and what about cheering for me sometimes at the bleachers sometimes?” junhui leans against the shelf lightly and breaks the on-going conversation between you and mingyu with a sudden heated question.

“ayyyy that she will do of course. every friend of mine is _____`s friend so of course she`ll cheer for you, jun. although i`m a little special so i`ll get more cheers, right?” mingyu bent down and moved his face infront of you with the silliest smile on his face.

this boy, you thought, you`re really enjoying this, aren’t you?

you wanted mingyu to read your eyes but you were unsure if he was just putting up an act or simply being oblivious.

you close your eyes a bit and put up a pressed smile on your face as you thought about how mingyu clearly didn`t understand what junhui was trying to do here and on top of all that, he didn`t even let you speak before jumping onto answering the question for you.

you thought, maybe that`s what friends do. clearly, you were wrong in this.

“hahaha, sure, i mean why not―although i don`t know how much me cheering will help. i don`t even cheer, i just, like i said,” you huffed and leaned a bit to your side after turning your attention from mingyu`s child-like expression to junhui`s attentive ones, “i only sit and watch.”

junhui mirrors your act of leaning and replies.

“that`s very much enough.”

the line that forms on his lips gives his cheeks a lift. his eyes looks pure and yet with that built, you couldn`t really pinpoint what you should be feeling.

you didn`t know if you wanted to laugh or cry right at that moment. he was clearly copying mingyu right there but he added a little bit of his own spice in it.

you only nodded and smiled through the dilemma and made sure there`s nothing on your face that would give you how hot and bothered you were with just the presence of junhui infront of you.

“anyway,” gently pushing mingyu by his shoulders who was previously bending down to look at you face to face, “i need to get some dvds. so can i….look for them now?” raising your brows, you trail off looking at both of the boys as they nod and give you the space to choose.

but mingyu`s arm remained on your shoulder as you walked towards the shelf and junhui―he only moved away from his previous spot a bit. so now that you were standing in front of the shelf of dvds, you were stuck in-between two clearly much taller for their age boys.

sighing microscopically, you reached out your arm and pulled out a dvd of a sleeper-hit movie from decades ago―one of yours and your mother`s favorite.

“_____ you like this movie too?” junhui asks suddenly. his voice sounded slightly different this time. also, the sudden slip of your name from his mouth caught you by surprise for a moment. this was actually the first time he called you by your name if you could recall every interaction with him.

eventually, this particular moment resurfaces once in a while when junhui crosses your head sometimes.

“hmm, i do! you….” you reply.

“same, i do like it too―actually, it`s my mother`s favourite and―”

“mine too! it`s my mother`s favourite too!” you cut him off, declaring right away with an excitement in your tone with a sudden sense of familiarity very loud in the air between both of you.

junhui only blinks. his eyes a little bit wide and the smile which was now less smirk-like climbs on his mouth.

“ohhh junhui, both you & _____ have some similar taste, huh?” mingyu and his annoying self chirped in, which you obviously didn`t pay any heed to. you only replied with a “is that something very interesting to you?” but only in your head.

as if mingyu was about to reply, you turned around to look up at jun and let him continue clearly ignoring mingyu and his big mouth.

seeing how now your attention is all on him, junhui skipped the previous act of smile and giggled and if you could clearly remember it`s been a long time you`ve heard such a sweet giggle in a while.

“ah well i`ve watched it once with her when it was on television one day. i love the story of the leads and how even though they had to face all those hurdles, they didn`t falter in their discipline and way of life. it was…uplifting to me, i guess? staying grounded. loved that.”

“i understand. the feelings are mutual.”

this time the smile was genuine. you were glad that this time you weren`t nervous, that you could smile without stuttering through your thoughts although everything about junhui was distracting you. from his handsome built, his face to now having been discovered his soft giggle (it kept on replaying on your head for some unknown reason) and him, being this close to you right now wasn`t helping at all.

“that sounds very deep.” mingyu states. this time both you and junhui hum at the same time at him, not ignoring him.

“so did your mother tell you to rent it or….?” junhui asks.

“no, well, actually yes―both me and my mother thought of having a movie night. the dvd player at home is gathering only dust so we thought to have some good use of it.”

“oh so auntie must be making some good foods too, right?” this time mingyu joins in.

“ah yes, she `s making my favourite dish,” you spare him a glance before replying back.

“ah then what should i pick up…now that _____ has already picked up one from my bucket list today.”

junhui gifted you a look from the corner of his eyes while the well-known smirk adorned the corner of his mouth and he strolls across the makeshift corridor in-between the two large shelves softly drumming his fingertips on each of the spines of dvds placed in order.

“ah i`m sorry if you want you can keep it,” you brush off mingyu`s arm around your shoulder and walk a little bit towards junhui, “i can take some others, it`s not like this is the only one i needed anyway.”

the boy whom you just got to know spun on his heels with his arms now behind him crossed and he leans in to come closer to your face. a little bit closer and you could feel his breathe over you.

“same goes for me but _____what if we make a deal?”

“a deal?” you question him, curiosity hitting you from behind.

junhui hums.

“tell me about it.”

“what if you give me the dvd after you & auntie,” junhui looks at mingyu for a second, his eyes mischievous as he uses your friend`s addressing term for your mother and continues after placing his gaze upon you once again, “finish watching the movie and i pay for both of our rentals.” his focus on you remained until the end, or maybe a little bit after that. his eyes burned into you and you felt like you couldn`t run away from them, yet.

you were not going to lie but this proposal came like a shock. the giving of the said dvd in question to junhui after you`ll be done with it wasn`t the main shocker at all―it was the fact that he was offering to pay for both his and yours rental for this dvd.

suddenly, you heard mingyu`s footsteps from behind you. junhui straightens his back and watches your friend coming close to you. he only shrugs when he looks down at you. you didn`t know what kind of expression mingyu wore but you wish it was nothing major.

“oi jun―” you close your eyes right then and exhale before turning around your body to face your friend but mingyu cut you off, although you don`t know if it was intentional or just simple coincidence, “are you hitting on ______? dude you just met her.”

there you go. that`s it. just what you were fearing.

clearly, his voice had a certain strain at the back of his throat but he covered it up with his playful voice. a voice which carried a laughter which could be both mockery or sound as fake as possible. you didn`t know if junhui noticed it but being grown up with mingyu since toddler days, you could make it out very well.

you put your palms on top the denim clad chest of your friend, calming down whatever you wanted to calm down.

at the same time, you only heard junhui chuckle behind you. you couldn`t make out if it was an evil one or a natural one but the smug on his face was evident in his voice.

“hey it`s fine.” you say, your voice wasn`t reaching the octave you intended.

“looks like big boy`s a little jealous that me & ____ are hitting it off as good friends already?”

“it`s not about being good friends….hitting on someone and being good friends is different.”

“i was just trying to put on a good impression on her, gyu.” junhui, this guy , he was clearly enjoying this. but if his intentions were good then you didn`t see any problem with it.

“i don`t mind that at all but just so you know, _____ isn`t someone who`ll sway that easily. she`s a tough nut to crack.”

you almost laughed at mingyu`s words―it looked as if he was speaking from experience but you just shook your head and turned around. both of your arms now raised up in the air stopping both boys from having a fight here solely because of you for some stupid reason.

“it`s okay, it`s all fine.”

you looked up at junhui and continued in a calm voice “thank you for the offer, junhui, but i`ll pay for my own rent or else my mother will question about it and i`m really not in a mood to explain such stuff to her and about giving the dvd to you―” you give him a soft smile and said further, “i`ll send it to you through mingyu considering you hang out with him these days, okay?”

you nod up at mingyu who was previously looking at junhui. but when he saw you were looking at him, he switched from his squinting eyes combined with a sour pout to a completely different expression, the kind he gives you as if it`s only reserved for you―typically a warm one.

mingyu closes his eyes for a second and nods.

“i hope we`re clear now?”

“i was just playing around, _____, don`t worry,” junhui raised both of his arms up as if surrendering and continued “there`s no bad intentions here.”

in junhui`s head he was obviously being a good person and so was mingyu. junhui walked over to mingyu and playfully circled his arms around your friend and puts his other hand on top of his chest rubbing it playfully.

you let out a small laugh and saw mingyu lowering his eyes to stare up at junhui through his lashes and rolled his eyes before elbowing his new buddy in his sternum. junhui only yelps letting out a wheeze.

and, with that the dvd rental shop got filled up to laughters yet again until the sudden intentional cough from the part-timer made both of these playful boys shush down with each of their forefingers on top of their individual lips.

rolling your eyes and shaking your head, you walked across the shelves and picked another two old classics and went to the counter to pay for the rents.

mingyu picked up a newly released movie he was looking forward to last spring and junhui picked out two recent but a little older movies.

after you were done with the payment and all, you were about to walk out of the shop and waved a goodbye to the boys who were still paying. mingyu ran a bit to the door to hold it for you.

but before the door would completely close on you, your eyes moved over at junhui who was still standing at the counter―he was waiting for the changes but his face was turned towards you and he was looking at you with a now unknown gaze. you couldn`t really make out what it was but for some reason it made you a little bit sad.

but before he could witness the curve of your mouth for him, he closed his eyes for a second and smiled at you. your eyes widen at this and instantly without knowing you smiled back at him fully.

and that was it.

that was the last time you met junhui at that close proximity. you had seen him at the basketball court, you had seen him at random street. some day or night your eyes have met with each other and sometimes they didn`t, but his smile had burned through the surface of mind. some time, at some random time, you`ll suddenly get a flash back of his smirk or that fleeting smile he gave you before you closed the door on both of your first meet.

also you knew that mingyu probably made sure junhui never gets to have any closure with you. there`s been couple of times when you`ve found jun across the corridors of the school, simply hanging around and before anything can happen mingyu had circled his arm around junhui dragging his focus away from you who`d just be passing by to deliver some copies of homework to the teacher`s rooms.

you didn`t question this.

afterall, mingyu himself was in a dilemma of sorting out his feelings for you. he would probably do anything until you accept him in your life as something more than just childhood friends but even junhui never made sure to take any attempt, other than casual glances.

well, that`s what you know. it not like you know everything that the future holds. maybe one day you`ll meet him again when mingyu`s not around and you both will have conversations that never happened or waited for the right moment to have anything grow out of the seeds sown in this new friendship.

but for now, it`s okay. maybe someone from another town will catch feelings for him better, it`s not like you`ve him bounded by some string of fate.

it`s okay wherever you stand now when it comes to your relationship with junhui.

fin.

136 notes · View notes

laceymorganwrites · 4 years

Text

Shallow love

Word count: 2,128

Pairing: Nacht x reader

Warnings: SPOILER ALERT, swearing, teeny bit of gore, insecurities, I probaby butchered his character >.< I´m so sorry, baby

A/N: NACHT APPEARS IN TODAY´S EPISODE SO OMG I HAD TO POST THIS!!!!

okay so

Nacht is my second favorite Black Clover character and yes, I am currently: freaking out. also he has Dabi´s VA so: perfection.

I will definitely post more about him in the future! I just wanted to get this out today since it just fit so well <333 I´ll be back to regular posting in April

You didn´t think that you would ever be able to feel peace again and go back to your normal life after the attack of the Diamond kingdom.

And yet here you were, in the calm after the storm.

It was weird. Everything was in chaos, the villages and overall buildings were even more destroyed than when the eye of the midnight sun attacked.

Everything was as per usual at the Black Bull´s base, nothing out of the ordinary except for Yami forcing Nacht to stay now.

You´ve known him for a long time now, being the first member of the squad, and you never could read him. He always intrigued you.

And yet he also always made you distance yourself from him.

Nacht was the type of guy who was too blunt for his own good. You appreciated honesty, but he just always made it hurt.

You knew full well that you weren´t an innocent little lamb, but who was?

What irked you most about him was how badly he thought and spoke about his own squad, to this day you asked yourself why he even joined in the first place, he could´ve just as easily denied Yami´s order.

Sure, Yami could be persistent, but that wouldn´t stop someone like Nacht.

There had to be more to the two of them but over the years you learned that you just didn´t want to know.

Every time you approached Nacht about it he just shut you off and reminded you of all your flaws again.

Like he always did. With everyone.

Except for Asta, like everyone, he took a liking to the little guy.

Though, you had to admit Nacht seemed more open and approachable after the war. And yet you didn´t.

Instead you watched him at first reluctantly, over time without any hesitation, becoming rather friendly, talking to the rest of the squad.

In all those years you have known him you always asked yourself whether you really did. You highly doubted it.

You just couldn´t figure him out. Did he just wear a mask? Were all of his infuriating smiles for show? Was it all a game to him? What were his goals?

And why…

No. You didn´t want to think about that.

What was the point anyway? Anyone got a crush at some point, the only difference was that crushes usually didn´t last this long.

Especially if said person didn´t pay you any mind unless they were insulting you.

Nacht mostly stayed to himself, making it known he didn´t want anything to do with the rest of the squad.

Though like anyone else who stayed with them for a long amount of time, he warmed up to everyone. Still, he had his moments and didn´t exactly change his opinion. Because in his world people couldn´t change, they just didn´t.

And that made you sad.

Because deep down you just wanted him to acknowledge you, to tell you that you weren´t as bad as he thought, that you were a good person.

But at one point being around him just hurt. You cared too much, thought too much about him, it kept you awake at night.

If only you went out of your room into the kitchen where he would stay because of the same problem.

Especially since that day…

You were surrounded. Everywhere you looked you saw black, greedy eyes. The devils were everywhere and all hope seemed lost. You couldn´t rely on Asta only anymore, he already went through enough. He shouldn´t fight your battles for you just because he had strong powers, he was just a little boy.

And yet there he was, fighting ferociously, once again defeating the devil that came to slay everyone that day all those centuries ago.

It was hard to keep at least somewhat of an overview, everything seemed in shambles and the screams and cries of everyone were deafening.

You really shouldn´t be focusing on Nacht right now, now was not the time. Not that there ever was an appropriate time for that anyway.

But of course you just couldn´t help yourself, your eyes wandered to him frequently even as you told them to stop.

Though in this instance it might have not been that bad. Your eyes went wide as you realized what he was about to do, everything around you faded away, you felt numb and your body moved on its own to prevent him from going through with his plan.

“Please die with me” were the last things that left his lips that shut your brain off and made you move automatically. They weren´t uttered to you, Nacht didn´t even look in your direction, it was none of your business.

Even still you couldn´t just stand by idly and watch him die, watch one of the only chances you had at winning die, watch the man you hated to love die.

The little devil on his shoulder looked scared as your gaze met him and honestly, you could understand it all too well.

You were scared too but now wasn´t a time for fear, you needed to stop him at all costs.

“That´s the stupidest thing you ever said!” you screamed out as you were still running towards him.

Finally his head turned to you, he still had that infuriating smile on his lips, though it was so sad this time.

“It´s the only way…” he replied.

“You don´t know that! You can´t know that! You can´t just throw you life away like that, it won´t change anything! In fact it will… we will lose. We will lose so much more than just the fight, don´t you understand that? You´re not more or less important than the rest of us and you´re our vice captain, so it´s my duty to stop you from sacrificing yourself!” you said, grabbing his shoulders and frantically panting, you looked at him aghast, shocked, eyes wide and searching for something...anything in his eyes that wasn´t dull.

“Then we´re all going to die, but it´s so typical of you to be so selfish” he told you, his tone as entitled as always.

“You´re selfish too, you know that?” you whispered, averting your eyes.

“You can´t just run away from your responsibilities. It isn´t right” you stood your ground, balling your fists in anger and frustration.

“It´s the only way, why do you even try to stop me?” he sighed, looking at you. He was feeling quite frustrated now too, what were you trying to achieve? If he didn´t make this sacrifice so many more people would die, didn´t you care about them? Wasn´t it your job to protect everyone? So why were you trying to desperately to save him out of all people?

“Because I care. A lot. We all do. And yes it´s selfish, you´re right about that. We´re all selfish losers and assholes but you know what? We do it best and we´re goddamn proud not to be as picture perfect as all the others. That´s what defines us. And you don´t have to agree with that, but I´m fucking stubborn so don´t think for even a second that I´ll let you go through with your stupid plan!” you looked at him with such emotion, such passion, it made his heart ache with a foreign familiarity.

Nacht never paid you any more mind than he did the others, just thinking all of you were useless. That was why he was so surprised that someone would voluntarily want to save him.

He treated you like shit, sure it was more out of a defense mechanism cause he couldn´t bear leaving people behind, having people worry about him, he already had enough guilt to carry.

But hearing your words was like a revelation to him.

Maybe he still had a role to play in life, maybe his story wasn´t over yet and just maybe could he live his life without having to fulfill anything, but solely for himself and the ones he cared about.

Maybe it was finally time to start caring more than he was ready to admit, to take a step into the unknown and discover it with…

You.

It had always been you, he realized as he saw your desperate face, your hands on his shoulders, all dirty from fighting and yet feeling warmer than any fire ever could.

“Yes, maybe living might not be that bad” he tilted his head, smiling at you.

You felt an intense amount of relief wash over you as you gave him an exhausted smile back.

That was the first time you ever smiled at him, Nacht would never forget that moment, the moment in which you broke down his walls without even knowing it.

He would have to thank you later for that, when he fully comprehended what that meant.

Asta and you were training together again outside while the others were inside going on about their daily ruckus. Some were on missions already but some, like Asta, who were wounded and exhausted still needed to rest properly.

Though it was no use. Asta would never rest like he should unless he was knocked out.

And you tried that the first week, you each took turns but eventually you just couldn´t keep up anymore and let him train like he wanted.

Nacht also kept training with him, though he himself was new to everything going on and needed time to properly accommodate to things.

You stretched a bit, sitting down to just enjoy the sun for a moment.

“I can´t wait to go on missions again! I´m as good as new, I´m ready, I promise!” Asta beamed and showed off a bit but you only sighed.

“It´s not my call, kid” you apologized.

Asta pouted and kept training.

“You got a mission” Yami announced as he joined you outside and Asta practically jumped up and down with excitement and energy.

“Just the usual, rebuilding a town and fighting some magic beasts that escaped” he explained and Nacht slowly appeared behind him.

Asta´s eyes were beaming right now, he was excited to learn even more about the devil´s powers although he got quite the hang of it and even made a new friend.

Nacht smiled and waved at you, you just looked away as always and stood up to go back inside.

Nothing had changed anyway.

Until Yami stopped you in your tracks.

“If you get going now you´re gonna return by nightfall” he said and you nodded.

Asta sighed in frustration.

“I wanna go on a mission too!” he cried out.

“Not happening” all three of you said at the same time, shutting him up for a bit.

Both you and Nacht didn´t say anything as you made your way to the town in question.

Nacht because he didn´t know how to approach you and you because you thought there was no point in it, he wouldn´t think of you any differently.

And so you started your mission, once again fighting alongside each other and even though the task was dull Nacht´s presence gave you an energy that was unmatched, you just couldn´t help but smile.

When you were done you went deeper into the town to help the people rebuild it.

“Do you wanna go on a date with me?” he said out of the blue, making you turn around in confusion.

“Why would I go on a date with a guy who hates my guts?” you asked, making him sigh sadly.

“I´m sorry if I left that impression on you. I really don´t hate you… it´s quite the opposite actually” he explained.

“Did you just… I swear I never heard you apologize in all those years I´ve known you” you chuckled, not quite processing the second half of his statement.

“I never saw the point in it. All my life I always watched from afar, I always wanted to save people but you know, I´m just operating in the shadows. I´m good at spying and gaining information, saving people. Not so much making friends with them. I never saw it as my role. After all I lived my life for the kingdom and its people and not for myself. Why would I care if anyone liked me? In fact it would be the worst thing that could happen… death was always part of the job description and I was always willing to take that risk if it meant you could live longer. But now… ever since that day, I just want to live with you” he confessed, leaving you at a loss for words, so you did the only logical thing to you in this moment: hug him tightly.

“Of course I´d like to go on a date with you, Nacht. And I will keep protecting you” you smiled.

126 notes · View notes

gaia-movies-and-books · 3 years

Text

Strange Magic

(Image not mine)

Director: Gary Rydstorm

Do I recommend it? Yes, yes, yes. It may not be for everyone because its animated and a musical, but outside from that, there is nothing not to love about this movie. It is a musical, but the songs are pre-existing ones (Elvis Presley, Air Supply, Queen, Deep Purple, etc.).

No spoilers

A realm is divided in two: the fairy land and the dark forest. Between both grow magical flowers called “primroses”, that are used to make love potions.

Marianne is a fairy princess that, after getting her heart broken, learns how to live alone and focuses on not falling in love again, with the disgust of her father, since he wants her to find a husband and not be. Meanwhile, king Bug from the Dark Forest, sends his goblins to collect all the primrose flowers in order to destroy them, for he has forbidden love in his realm.

The story develops when a love potion is made and lost, and Bug takes hostage Marianne´s sister, promising to return her if the potion is given to him. Marianne has to find a way to get her sister back while Sunny, an elf that´s friend of the sisters, finds the lost potion.

No spoilers

None.

9.3/10

Disclaimer: this is my opinion and you have a right to disagree, if you do so feel free to comment, but remember that this is just what I think.

Spoilers

This movie. This is my ultimate comfort movie. If I´m completely honest, it probably isn´t as good as I feel it is, but I´ll always recommend it to everyone because it lifts my spirit so high every time I watch it. Not only does it have an AMAZING soundtrack that I adore and that lets me sing my lungs out every time, but it also has one of the most beautiful relationship and dynamic between two animated characters and I love it.

This is an original story with many unoriginal elements (the story was written by George Lucas, wow) that manages to make me happy through the whole film even though I´ve seen it like thirty times. The characters are “usual”, and the situations are normal as well, but the design of all of them, the way the story develops and leads through different emotions is just great.

It´s one of those movies where you relate to almost every single character, even though it´s animated, and it´s one that doesn´t take ONE characteristic and bases the character´s whole personality in it. It is aimed for kids but can easily be enjoyed as a teenager (if not more). It´s that one movie that, as predictable as it is, it has original elements that are handled in ways I have never seen in any other movie. It´s a love story that focuses on the fact that appearances and races don´t matter, and that love is not something to be taken lightly.

As cheesy as all of this might sound, it´s a really entertaining and funny movie that I watch when I´m sad, angry, happy, when I feel like singing, when I´m dying of cramps, etc. It might not be for everyone but it sure as hell is enjoyable.

Feel free to share your opinions about the movie, to ask me questions about mine and to open debates if you want. But remember, always express yourself with respect.

#strange magic #evan rachel wood #alan cumming #gary rydstorm #george lucas #review #soundtrack #comfort movies #movies #music #opinion #gaia’s reviews and opinions #elvis presley #air supply #deep purple #bob marley

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isagrimorie · 4 years

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Spyfall 2

Commentators: Jodie Whittaker, Sylvie Briggs (Ada Lovelace), Chris Chibnall

Much like the Doctor doesn't like being alone, Jodie also isn't keen on doing scenes alone.

Chibnall actually did consult with his brother in law, who is very knowledgeable in aviation, about landing planes without a cockpit. And it is possible to do so remotely, people will be surprised how a lot of modern planes are actually flown by a computer. I'm not surprised, my dad's a pilot and he told me a lot of modern aircraft are actually flown more by the computers than the pilots. It's a two edged sword tho because then the pilot becomes too over reliant on the autopilot, and that's when accidents happen.

The scene with Ada and Thirteen meeting in the Kasaavin dimension was actually Sylvie's (Ada Lovelace) final day. Her first day was waking up in 'Paris' with Thirteen.

Interesting comment about how the Doctor's rhythm and speech changed dictated by the period of time she's in. It's modern but enough to sound period.

The hall the Doctor and Ada are in is a school, the dining hall.

The Master and his Top Hat! Jodie and Sylvie are both admiring how Sacha commanded the room and how genuinely terrifying he was. 'He (Sacha) rehearses in a way physically you kinda know what he's gonna do but emotionally its different.'

Jodie: "We're the same height, well you can see it 'cause we are but what is really ace is bein' able to eyeball somebody, because very often when you have a standoff with someone there's usually one's looking up, one's looking down or whatever but to be absolutely--"

Sylvie: "Because that changes the power dynamic."

Jodie: "Yeah."

Chibnall: "I never clocked that."

[snip]

Chibnall: "But I wonder if that's what makes it feels so much like your Master, your antagonist, your nemesis. It's like... that's interesting about the eyeline."

Jodie: "Cause in the scene obviously with Lenny outside like this (does something we can't see) and I like doing that thing of scrunching up and kind of, y'know, I suppose the.. doing that thing that kids do headstrong where the body leans forward. But with this two its (growls)."

Chibnall was uncertain about writing the kneel scene, Jodie agrees and didn't like it, Sylvie mentions that it feels epic to her. Chibnall:"There's something about your perfromances that makes it feel epic. But it's just that two-hander."

In the kneel scene, when they were filming, to keep the secret of the Master's identity, Jodie called Sacha 'Myka' instead of Master.

Jodie: "I like my bowtie." Chibnall: "Are you angling for the return of the bowtie?"

Jodie: "Every set, I try to knick something." LOL.

I love how Jodie compliments Sylvie, and I agree she fits the era very well. And an instance where costume (corset especially), and the hair all tied back helps get into character.

Ada really had episodes of paralysis, and one of the jumping off points for Chibnall's story.

Sylvie and Jodie comment on how lovely it was to have scenes with three women and not about 'Hey three women! Let's talk about being women! It's (their gender) is absolutely irrelevant to it but it is really lovely to have just three women. The kind of craziness Doctor Who brings with Ada in period clothes, the Doctor in a tux, and Noor in her period appropriate clothes.

They go on to discuss the Master's SS uniform and how it makes them (Sacha included) shudder because of what the uniform represented. And it's more of a reflection of the Master because he just treats wearing the SS uniform as a dress up without accounting for the implications and history of it. An alien tourist playing dress-up. [ED: I think the optics of this is still problematic I think it's something we need to acknowledge..]

There really was a point where Jodie and Sylvie were under the floor boards with people walking above them, and they held each other's hands because that experience was awful. On page it was very cool, but in execution. (Ed: I love that scene the whole way where there's a tense standoff between Noor and the soldiers, and the Master. And the steeliness of Noor just staring them down even with the soldier strafing the floor.) Chibnall wants several films with Noor Inayat Khan.

OMG. There was a point in the shoot where the Doctor was supposed to speak in perfect French, and Jodie joked that she already didn't speak English very well, and so she practiced speaking her line just to get the accent perfect... only for it to be cut for time. I WANT DELETED SCENES NOW.

Scanning through the Spyfall 2 script there's no mention of the scene where the Doctor speaks in French which really just confirms my suspicion that the scripts are not the shooting scripts, or at least the copies the actors use.

So, Chibnall gave the production several possible locations hoping to bring the budget to manageable scale and then he started writing and he got to the scene where the Doctor and Master spoke and the Master asked where they'd meet and then the Doctor answered; "Where d'you think?"

And Chibnall goes: "Oh they've got to meet in the Eiffel Tower. Production is going to kill me!"

Also, by this it confirms to me that Chibnall, like all of the showrunners is a Doctor/Master shipper, which I should've known already because Jack and Captain John were very much Doctor/Master lite.

Jodie loves doing duologues and is hoping for more two handers in the future, and Chibnall is taking note of that. Two handers where the other person has more of the dialogue... LOL. I guess Jodie really loved The Timeless Children.

[ED: Ada and Noor were such good companions. I want a historical companion for Thirteen next please. Thirteen, Yaz, and a historical Companion!]

Sylvie is so fascinated with the Doctor and Master's relationship, about how complicated it is.

One of the advises RTD gave Chibnall is that 'you can save anything in a line.' LOL. Apparently some of the Master's trauma across 77 years involved tailoring.

Jodie comments on how exciting it is being involved in the costuming, between herself and Sacha, they get to build their Doctors and Master's look and shape them. Also Jodie really loves cropped pants.

Jodie and Sylvie love the power walk, the big iconic, backlit smoke walk. The Big Exposition speech.

The scene where the Master arrives in Kasaavin dimension, same day filming for Jodie, and Sylvie too.

Jodie loves all the engineering and carpentry work, and any practical work.

They did do a shoot where they moved forward to a scene where Noor died, but in the edit found a better ending in the one that was broadcasted, and IMO, that was the right choice. Chibnall wants it more that Doctor Who will inspire people to read up more on Noor Inayat Khan and same Ada.

Chibnall didn't want to rob Ada of her agency, that the Doctor helped her discover computers or suggest that she didn't come up with it, everything Ada did she came up with herself.

The scene where Thirteen is alone and contemplating what happened to Gallifrey, Jodie comments how this was one of the few times where she's just very still.

Chibnall: "This is second series Thirteen, the place you take a character once you've done the first act, done in the beginning of your Doctor's second act."

Jodie and Sacha made sure that they're there in person for the scene in the TARDIS because having a stand-in would change the energy and performance of the scene.

Chibnall: "That performance from Sacha, the layer he brings to the Master there, of emotional truth and pain is so fantastic. It's a gift for a writer, and opens up the Master as well. And opens up your Doctor, I think, the trauma's so personal."

Hang on. Chibnall: "Is that the first appearance of the jumper? [ snip] They've come in this second series, its the first jumper. Little tiny changes you and Ray figure out." Are they implying there were more Doctor wearing only her long sleeve jumper we didn't get to see???

Chibnall: "And you got your Doctor theme but also it's the first time you [speaking to Jodie], it's interesting, I deliberately kept them back in the first series so that when you say them here, it's like you're saying 'Gallifrey', 'Kasterborous', 'Master for the first time."

Jodie: But its good that it ends with a: [using the same steely, angry voice]: 'Questions?' Like: 'Back to business, c'mon.'

Chibnall: (watching Thirteen's face subtly change when Yaz asked if they can visit, and it changes from a broken void to a forced smile). "Ohhhh. Why won't you tell them?" (LOL a writer asking his character.)

#doctor who #liveblogging commentary #dw series 12 #thirteenth doctor #the master #ada lovelace #jodie whittaker #chris chibnall #dhawan!master #best enemies

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natromanxoff · 4 years

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I wasn’t sure about posting this at first but as it is already shared publicly and I have come across with it on Pinterest, I decided that it would be okay. So here is a story of a fan about Jim Hutton:

“ON 23rd of March, there was a Queen Tribute band concert in Goresbridge and my boyfriend told me that Jim would come as well. He admitted that he had arranged with Stephen for Jim to come along. The concert was in the pub called The Spirit Store. What a great name for spiritual meeting, I thought. When I entered, Jim sat at the table with Stephen, Jascqueline, her sister Valeria and other family friends. There was nowhere to sit, so we just stood by the table for a while. When I looked at Jim, he appeared somewhat fragile and tiny, like a man who could easily be overlooked. He didn´t look anything like those photos portraying him in the books.

After a while, there was a free seat by the table and everyone, including Jim, moved in order for us to sit down. It was just one place and my friend Mike wanted to take it. He got up fast but they all stopped him. Jim measured Mike up and down and told him, "Perhaps you should let the lady sit here, you cavalier!" Embarassed, Mike got up from his chair and offered it to me. I got the honorable place alongside Jim. Being a woman sometimes has its advantages! Jim welcomed me with heartfelt "Hi". At first I was nervous, but after a while I felt relaxed and enjoyed Jim's company. I was aware of his behavior, gestures, laughter, and tried to absorb his energy all at once. It was easy to talk to him about anything and everything.

I wanted to know the man Freddie loved so much, so I guess I started giving him many questions.

"Jim, are you still in touch with Phoebe?" Jim looked at me closely and began to talk to me with interest. "I haven´t really been talking to him for a long time. I know he had a hotel in Dubai, then he sold it, and he's in Prague now. He also bought something overthere and I think he's going to settle down there." When I heard about Prague, I jumped up excitedly and told him that I was from there. He smiled a little, though the coincidence like this didn´t overwhelm him as much as me.

He relished glass of Budwaiser and smoked Ultra light Silk Cuts. He offered me one and lit it up for me like a real gentleman. It seemed he wanted to continue talking. We both made fun of the ultralight effect of his cigarettes, which would probably piss off every orthodox smoker, Freddie for sure! He then demonstrated jokingly, how to properly smoke them. He inhaled all the smoke by sucking in his cheeks and widening his eyes, as if he should soon burst like an inflated toad. None of us resisted and we both burst into a mad laughter. I told him about my visit to Munich and meeting Barbara. He smiled and listened, then he rolled his eyes up to heaven and stated that she is one hell of a crazy woman. I totally agreed, and added, that also alcoholic one. It was surreal to talk about mutual aquaintances together, people we both knew. I also mentioned my visit to New York club and I could see how he returns nostalgically into his memories. Then I also tried to make him remember my friend Allison, who told me about him in the first place.

"About nine years ago she visited you in London". He couldn´t remember and admitted, that since then a lot of people have passed through his life and many of them he never saw again.

I continued. "She showed me several of your photos and in one of them you were holding Freddie's portrait that you bought at the auction". Suddenly he jumped up and said he knew whom I mean.

I showed him my miniature box containing a stone and talked about it with almost patriotic pride. "It's a stone from Logan Mews that I had to dig out from under the threshold of his house, because there was nothing else to take." Jim laughed out loud, this time without any hindrance and doubt that I was totally crazy. I also laughed because I knew I sound like nuts. He remarked with smile from ear to ear that I was pretty crazy. "Yeah, I'm crazy, and I'm proud to be. Who isn´t...and by the way.....why not?" I smiled at what I just said, because that´s what Freddie would say, to defend himself. Jim then talked about the medallion that Freddie had given him for his birthday. He said, there were three miniature pictures inside. "The first is that of Miko ", he said gently, looking up at me to make sure I knew who he was talking about. "In the other one is Freddie" ... he continued with kind of fervor and love. Something deep inside me shivered. "In the third one," ... he didn´t answer yet, when I jumped into his monologue ...."Tiffany," I blurted out.

"My mom's photo," he finished his sentence. (and I prayed he didn´t register my answer).

It was nice to hear him remembering like that. He opened up in front of me the way I never dreamt of. I think it was nice for him to share these beautiful moments and to talk about things that meant so much to him. "This rock is my good luck charm. I have been listening to Queen since I´m twelve and I also work in the Fan Club's office. We celebrate his anniversary every year. When I went here, I was kidding with my friends that I might meet Jim Hutton in Ireland... and here you are, sitting right next to me. That´s my dream come true", I said all emotional.

"How do you know Stephen?", he inquired after while.

"I go out with Vinnie and they are good friends" He eyed my boyfriend and indicated that he knew who he was.

"I was annoying the two of them and was constantly asking them to bring you", I smiled.

"Oh, Jacqueline wanted me to come, alright" Jim smiled at the thought. Then he talked about the music talent competition, in which they were selecting the best imitators of Queen.

"What music are you actually listening to?" I wondered.

"I have no favorite, I'm listening to almost everything. Even a radio".

"And do you still have Zig and Zag?"

He only sighed and said in a sad voice that they had both died since then.

"And do you have any other cats?"

"Yeah, I have seven others now," Jim smiled. This number didn´t surprise me. The old habits are hard to kill.

"Do you still keep up the gardening, Jim?"

"Constantly," he said with a loving smile and amusedly showed me his hands dirty from the clay and covered in sores. For God's sake, he must have been gardening a few minutes before going to a concert!, I thought to myself. A complete garden maniac.....

We were joking on the account of the band that was supposed to start playing long time ago, but somehow did not. He told me it would be nice to get drunk, so we didn´t know how terrible they were. That really made me crack up. He could be so funny.

He joked and emphasized to everyone around the table, that instead of a concert he could have been at home watching his favorite movie. In the same breath, he admitted that he was curious about their performance and that he hadn´t been out in ages.

He leaned over to me and confessed, that now he lived a life completely cut off from the rest of the world.

"We are basically the same, I am basically like him. Now I just enjoy loneliness and privacy. I don´t go out anywhere except my garden". I immediately knew whom he was referring to in his speech.

I said that I had discovered his house in Palatine and apologized when I saw his slightly concerned look. I said I was just little curious.

He then recalled a few of his encounters with the fans. One day there was an unknown car with a couple of strangers that arrived to his house. They came all way from Vienna and they found him by questioning people in a town! Not a hard thing to trace him, he said, as every cab driver in the area knows him pretty well. One local newspaper even published a photo of his house, and although they gave a wrong address, a lot of people had found him.

That made me laugh, because I knew what it means to be a devoted fan.

"On the other hand, it's nice to know that someone is constantly looking after you and giving you the feeling that all this is still alive," I added with a smile.

"Jim, do you still have your Volvo?"

"You mean the one that Freddie gave me?.....No, I don´t have it few years now, I´ve swapped it for a new one," he smiled.

He was all too gallant all the time, always lighting my cigarette.

He also wondered how long I would stay in Ireland, so I said that only another half a year.

"And you wanna come back here?" He asked suddenly.

"Oh, I'd love to. I'm trying to find a job either in Carlow or Kilkenny," I said enthusiastically.

Then I fell silent, looked at him and assured him "Definitely."

Each time he looked up into my eyes, I saw an incredibly nice person in front of me. Something in his silent expression suggested that he had suffered great deal of pain in life, but that he was now completely reconciled with his fate. Still, in his eyes shone a spark of unrelenting humor. In his company I forgot all about the world. I was happy to be able to make such an affluent and warm contact with him. The longer we knew each other, the closer we were.

When he wanted to go to the toilet, Stephen told him that the men's toilets were behind the bar and the ladies in front of the bar. It sounded like he wasn´t quite sure which one would Jim prefer.

But Jim didn´t care much and set off to the men's. I admit it made me laugh a little.

Then we continued our dialogue. I mentioned that I read both his and Phoebe's book, but that I couldn´t find his book anywhere in the stores. He confirmed that it´s out of print at the minute.

When I told him that I had stolen his book at the local library, he laughed and said that I should have asked him and he would have given me a copy, but he only had Italian version.

Finally, the band started to play. Everyone in the pub stood up and whole lot of us - as we were tucked in at the back, climbed onto the window ledges. I stood next to Jim, who remained seated.

He looked a little bit run over. I knew he was surrounded by the loneliness and I watched him with sadness. I lacked much power or words to comfort him. It was only after some wonderful songs that we both joined and got up. He could not remain sad in such a loving and friendly company for ever.

When he noticed the enormous, life-vibrant energy that only Queen music could produce in conjunction with a crowd of people singing, I think he forgot his personal pain. I could see pride in his face. He stood up and watched the band. Then he addressed me and made me come up onto the ledge above him to see better. I would not listen to anybody else, but from him it didn´t sound like an order. He wanted me to get the most out of it and it pleased me. Then we sat back and drank. Jim seemed to be getting cheerful and livelier. The more he drank, the more cheerful he was. The guys ordered him Red Bull with vodka. When I asked him if it was vodka, he claimed it was white lemonade! He put a warm glass of "vodka" on my hand, so I almost jumped out of my skin, which he thought was terribly funny.

Whatever he did, he looked at me as though I was the only person who knew what was behind his looks. His faces and funny grimaces reminded me of Freddie. He had a lot of subconsciously inherited poses and gestures from him. Even in his laughter I could detect an influence of Freddie's strong personality. He simply marked all people around him. It was not the same contagious and stormy laugh, but there was a spark of resemblance.

His niece Jacqueline, Valerie and Stephen, danced all the time on the ledge and Jim was pulling them and wrapping himself in between their legs, hugging them, clinging to them, and messing around like a little boy. It was a wonderful sight, as he was so happy and childish.

After some time, Jim lost himself in a crowd of concert goers, so I went to look for him. Without his company it felt such a sad place. It was as if he had fallen through the ground, which made me very nervous. Finally, I found him by the entrance table, where he was joking away with one old blonde, not too different from frivolous Barbara Valentin. I asked him for a photo together. At first he looked impenetrable but as soon as I threw a sad eye and smirked, he brightened up and agreed as if saying "You know you can, anything for you, darling"

His niece Valerie took our picture. He then whispered to me that he hopes I´ll send him some pictures later.

After that he announced that we are going back inside to listen to the band.

I saw them from close-up and I must say that it was much better to just hear them. They looked rather too comic with all their wigs. It was something that would make Freddie laugh too.

I told Jim that they don´t look very natural,which he agreed with, but he said he couldn´t complain about their music. He was totally right, because musically they weren´t bad and the singer had a very authentic voice.

Inside, everybody was dancing and Jim joined in and circled around them like a rogalo.

The whole pub vibrated with intense and loving energy. There was no one who would be bored. Jim then threw himself in the arms of his two nieces, who gently caressed him in his hair and embraced him. He let them take care of him, now vulnerable like a little lost child all of a sudden.

There was something deeply touching about it. He had closed his eyes and sadly lowered his head, as if his tears flowed deep inside, in his invisible world. I realized at this stage, how much he really loved Freddie. I was looking at him and I had a desire to caress him and comfort him but instead, I had to stand aside.

"You can have everything and yet feel alone", Freddie once said. But I was glad Jim had his family and friends around him, who cared and protected him. Jim was going through sorrow and joy,both at the same time, it seemed.

During one of his many shananigans, I caught him messing around with his niece's boyfriend.

He sat him on his knees and imitated sexual intercourse. It would seem offensive and utterly crazy to someone who didn´t know him. But we all did. Jim was laughing like crazy and when he finally looked at me, he seemed a little embarrassed by his behavior and gave me a look that said"I hope you won´t tell on me to Freddie"...but it was hard to take him seriously.

We both smiled conspiratorially at each other. In that sense, our relationship no matter how short-lived, was special. We understood one another in thoughts. He winked at me a couple of times, tapping my beer like an old buddy.

In one moment in particular, Jim leaned over me and whispered: "You as a fan have right to be crazy, but them" ... pointing at our dancing group of friends ... " they are fucked up", he said with smile and he began to knock his finger against his forehead. An international gesture that doesn´t need an interpreter!

Jim then went to the toilets for a while, and I, like a stray sheep, followed him through crowds of oblivious dancers. He was somewhat drunk at that time and barely retained a balance. He staggered a little like a broken tree. No surprise after god knows how many Red bulls and vodkas! I was bit afraid for him, so I supported him inconspicuously by both shoulders from behind. He went to the toilet and cared too little to even close the door behind him. If anyone was looking, he would see Jim Hutton pissing in a toilet bowl in his bright canary shirt.

At that moment they played the most touching song of all, These are the Days of our lives .... I stood by the door and listened, watching the band and waited for Jim. I don´t know why, perhaps because of the fate that brought me here, I suddenly felt terrible sorrow. I was sorry for Freddie and Jim. Tears poured into my eyes. I didn´t cry, but was very close to it. Jim suddenly appeared next to me and noticed my face. "What about those tears? I hope you don´t cry", but at this stage I was lost for words. His concern made me sad even more. Something inside me forced me to caress him. I hugged him gently around his neck and put my head on his shoulder for a moment. I wanted to let him know that I am very sorry about what happened to Freddie. He did not resist. He knew he wasn´t the only one in the world who was missing him. I looked into his eyes, and I told him a sentence that I didn´t know why I said, but I strongly felt it..."Jim, he's here, he IS here." His expression was rather confused at first. "Do you believe me?" ... I said this with a seriousness and a certain degree of self-assurance that he froze for a while. He looked thoughtful. He knew what I was talking about.

I seemed to only confirm his inner conviction. He didn´t say a word. He wiped my tear away with the edge of his hand and without warning, took me firmly by the hand and led me through crowds back to our friends. There was a lot of care and love in his touch. The music was just playing and Freddie just sang "I still love you" and I knew he did.

I didn´t want to leave, but I knew I said everything I needed to. I could not leave without saying goodbye. It would be a sin after all this to just disappear into eternity. I interrupted him from the conversation with someone else, leaned over the table and said, "Jim, I'm leaving now, so I want to say goodbye, it was great pleasure meeting you." I smiled as much as my heart allowed me to and shook his hand. He stared up and thought for a moment, and then, without any hesitance said, "We do not see each other for the last time." I didn´t know at this time how true his words were.

I thought I did not understand well, so I asked again, "sorry?" and he repeated patiently and more resolutely, "I shall surely see you again," while taking my hand into his hands and kissing it gently.

He left me in amazement. I stumbled out from there perplexed but still I could hear him talking about me to someone there. He probably said he hadn´t seen a bigger nutcase in a long time, assuming from his cute teddybear smile. Gosh I loved him so much!

The next day I learned from my friends that Jim was looking next morning for his jacket that he had forgotten in his car. Few days later, I've sent him the promised photographs. Jacquie confirmed that he called in to say he had received them allright.”

2001

“...And then I returned back to Ireland in 2004.

I had the opportunity to welcome Jim to my own home in Carlow sometime in 2006. He was Stephen´s surprise. When the door opened up, I didn´t see him at first.

Then his head popped out from the side of the door and with a laugh he emerged a bit later. He hugged me like we hadn´t seen each other for million years. What I felt at that moment was indescripable. My dear Jim back in my life and in my own house!

We all sat in the living room, Jim settled down on the sofa, I was sitting on the ground and absorbed the precious moments because I knew time spent with him was only borrowed time. Then we watched Queen videos and talked about Freddie as if he were in the next room. It was so surreal. Me and Jim agreed that our favorite video was Scandal, and he just added that Freddie didn´t like it very much because he couldn´t make any creative input in it, although he loved the song.

Then we talked about his illness, about him taking up to 40 pills a day to sustain his health and he also explained the difference between AIDS and HIV, as many people still didn´t know. We have talked so much and - above all - we laughed all night, almost at everything. It was so easy to succumb to his funny personality once again and to his heartfelt laughter. He made jokes about fancying my ex-boyfriend, whom he lied on top of on the sofa. Long time ago, I´ve sent him a letter explaining to him how Freddie has impacted my life. But I've forgotten I´ve ever written it and now I was faced with the horror that I actually have sent it. I hoped he has forgotten about it, but when Jim and I met in the corridor of our house, I couldn´t but apologize to him for that letter, and for being so daring. To my surprise, he looked at me softly with his tired eyes and assured me that my letter was absolutely fascinating. Then we were interrupted by Stephen, who was just leaving a toilet and the conversation was cut short at that point. Unfortunatelly I would never have the chance to find out what was the next thing he was about to say, because I noticed he wanted to continue, if he weren´t interrupted.

When we were saying goodbye at the door, he treated me as an old friend. He simply kissed me on the lips, which utterly shocked me and made me laugh at the same time.

He invited us back to his house to have a little party, but my ex-boyfriend was not in the perfect mood and so we politely declined, which I will forever regret!

About a year after that I bumped into Jim several times in the city where we both lived, or we exchanged text messages whenever I needed to advise what room flowers would be best for our new house. Sometimes I learnt about how he´s doing through my ex-boyfriend, who used to hang out with him and drink few pints in a night bar. Once my ex confessed how Jim told him that I was a great person and he should be happy to have me. They must have been talking about me!!!!

Then I met Jim one night in the nightclub, where he was with his friends. He spent most of his time sitting in the lounge smoking a cigarette, having fun with younger girls. Wherever he was, you heard his laughter. That night my ex-boyfriend arranged for Jim and me to have a dance together.

Jim was just dancing on the dancefloor with some older woman. I remember he had his jumper tied around his waist. I just got onto the dancefloor, he looked at me all serious and pulled me close to him. It was some tediously slow song that I can´t even remember, I just know that we were staggering from side to side like two handiccaped penguins and that made me laugh hysterically.

He was such a clown! Now, however, I consider this moment as one of the most precious memories of him. It was my night.

Back in 2009, I have learned that Jim was diagnosed with cancer. My ex-boyfriend told me how concerned Jim was when informing him. He said, he wept. At that time I didn´t know how serious the situation was and I hoped Jim will get better in no time. I believed the doctors would somehow help him out of it. I saw him a little later at work when he came to our restaurant for breakfast.

I almost served him as another customer, but when I realized it was him, I pulled myself back into the kitchen and let the other girls serve him. He never noticed. I was in such state of shock. I didn´t know what to do, how to act and what to say. He was so thin, just skin and bone. His face was sinking, his eyes full of pain, a small tube leading from his nose to the oxygen device he carried in his backpack and a small canvas hat on his head. I couldn´t believe this was Jim, whom I have remembered being so full of life and joy only half a year ago. I wanted to cry like never before. I also felt embarassed by my own cowardly reaction. I wished more than anything in my life to hug him and say I loved him. I wanted to wish him a happy Christmas. But I was scared of my own tears, which would not help him in his situation.

I wrote him a message on the phone, but he didn´t respond. And then I got the terrible news. Jim died and somehow I also missed his funeral. I took a first taxi and went at least to his months Mass and visited his grave, bringing him daffodils and little white lantern with candle. It was so hard for me. His relatives stood above his grave. I said my prayers in a minute of silence. The air didn´t move and the moon was full in the night sky. It was dark and cold all around but I didn´t care.

I wanted to see him laugh and mess around like he used to. It was as if another star had disappeared and fell to the earth. If only life could last forever.”

2006-2010

Credits to Seraphiel’s blog. Please don’t repost without credits.

#jim hutton

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ssunrises · 3 years

Text

I have an exam tomorrow, which was the rare physics course I was actually naturally good at. BUT my chronic illness had a massive flare up the last year, it took longer to figure it out bc of the whole pandemic thing. It seems like I´ve just now a couple days ago have gotten my brain back to anywhere near what it used to be, for the first time in months. And still experiencing massive symptoms, as my new and very fancy meds isn´t quite working yet. Which was just a little too late for the best grades, probably. But I´ll take it and run with it for the three weeks left of exams, and then the enormous summer workload I have to do to take the three of four exams I couldn´t do before christmas, but have a new chance at in august. It seems nearly impossibe still.

I think the thing no one considers after a long period of illness is that you haven´t processed emotions the same way because you are in either survival mode or on a low-energy (almost like battery-saving) mode, so with my normal speed of thoughts returning, so does every emotional moment as well. And the added stress doesn´t help, of course. I have dealt with enough before to be more prepared this time, which I´m thankful of, because it´s really debilitating on top of everything else. A good example is how I just remembered this time last year when I was freaking out because of my health declining, and then got the call that a relative my age (that I had never met) died of complications due to undiagnosed, otherwise treatable conditions. He was autistic and was not believed about his symptoms, in the same small-town where I was not believed a couple years prior. When I returned for vacation, the doctor was so weary of taking any responsibility of me after a heavy allergic reaction, and I was so confused until my mom reminded me that he could carry guilt, even if it was not his fault (the doctor was even new there, and it should´ve been discovered earlier). There´s so much to process, yet I need my whole capacity to fucking remember lens systems and how exactly the trigonometry of oil films and slab waveguides work right now.

#studying #physicsblr #uni #personal #chronic illness

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wedreamedlove · 4 years

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[FIC] Liminal Spaces (v.1)

Rating: M Characters: Xu Mo/Reader/Ares Word Count: 3391

Tags: 3P. Kissing. Petting. Angst. Jealousy.

Notes: The spiritual successor to KISS. Ares from Chapters 20-24 and loosely inspired by this comic. Xu Mo before Chapter 13.

Summary: This was all Ares' fault. He enjoyed testing you too much and the friction between your two powers, or whatever he was experimenting with, transported the two of you elsewhere.

You've been through so much though that waking in a pocket dimension doesn't even phase you anymore. However, you certainly weren't expecting a certain someone from your past. To make matters worse, there's no way out and no clues except for a puzzling piece of paper.

Consciousness slips back into you and you stir on something slightly hard, but which doesn't feel like the floor either. The last thing you remember was trying to tear apart the dark thread in the white of your mind when you felt the tide of Ares' power come towards you.

Then there was the sound of something shattering and then... nothing.

You gather your hands beneath you, ready to push yourself up, when you hear your name.

Turning your head your breath catches at the achingly familiar sight of Xu Mo in his white coat across the room. His eyes, looking like dabbed ink, gaze at you with concern.

"Xu---" You start to rise, the syllables of his name flowing off your tongue naturally as if you had never stopped saying his name. But you don't get to finish before you feel a leather-clad hand grip your nape and press you down tightly into the chest below you.

"Surname Xu..." The cool voice that slides into your ear is stripped of emotion and that's precisely what makes your hair stand on end. The hand on the back of your neck slides around to grip your chin and, as Ares sits up from beneath you, he angles your head up to bring you face-to-face with him. Frozen ink-purple eyes bore into you. "The person most important to you?"

"Remove your hand."

Ares' eyes slice over to Xu Mo and the two of them pause for a second, a flicker of surprise appearing and then being suppressed when they take in each other's appearance.

"Ares, let go." Your words come out even and coated in steel.

He returns his focus to you and you see contemplation give way to mirth in his eyes. He removes his hand from your chin and gets up in a smooth motion, half-carrying you to your feet.

Before you can move anywhere though you feel his gloved hand on your head, stroking your hair down to the back of your neck where it rests again. The gentle pressure is more than enough to hold you in place.

Xu Mo watches this whole interaction in silence before his eyes move back to yours and he asks softly, "Who is this?" But you have a feeling he already knows the answer.

"... This is Ares. Ares, this is Xu Mo."

Ares starts to laugh lowly, the amusement in his eyes growing, and inclines his head towards you. "Xu Mo, ah, Xu Mo... Someone from your past?"

Xu Mo stills.

You press down on the flinch that wants to break out. You already feel like Ares can see through you on normal days, but now it feels like he's split you open with a scalpel and is scrutinizing the intimate, bruised, and soft core of you which you wished he'd never see. This pulsing core which told you quietly whenever Ares was near that he wasn't him. He wasn't him and he would never be him.

You breathe in. Hold your breath. Then release it before asking, "What do you last remember, Xu Mo?"

His expression is shuttered. "We celebrated my birthday."

You close your eyes. Nostalgic memories, which seem to have happened ages ago, are revived in your mind. An entire expanse of starry sky stretching out above your heads. Warm hands holding yours. Foggy breaths mixing in a hushed silence. Snowflakes on eyelashes.

The person in front of you isn't the one you're looking for either. How ironic that in this moment, which is removed from space and time, you're still the one who is out of place.

Sorrow is like a tide around your legs. Some days it's higher and some days it's lower. Right now it's up to your waist and its pull threatens to knock you over and drag you under its waves. But you still struggle to go against it.

"Did you ever visit me in a hospital when I was with Li Zeyan?" You open your eyes and ask this.

"Li Zeyan...?" Xu Mo frowns, looking puzzled.

So, this is a Xu Mo before that fateful day when you found out the truth about him. Phantom pain prickles on your neck and you have to resist the urge to touch it and make sure you aren't bleeding.

"You're from another time," Xu Mo says it as a statement.

"... Mm."

You see him examine you and you try not to imagine the picture you must make with Ares. Both of you are clad in black while Xu Mo is in white. It might have been funny if you didn't already know that what lurked beneath Xu Mo's pleasant mask is an echo of the man beside you.

"She's not from mine either. Quite special, isn't she? The one and only Black Swan Queen," Ares interjects conversationally.

It's at this point that you step forward, shaking off Ares' hand from you, and your look cuts over. "Don't call me that."

He smiles blandly but his lack of further action shows that he's accepted your warning for what it is. He knows you hate to be called that title.

Xu Mo's eyes flicker, "What are you using her for?"

"Do you even need to ask? Exactly what you would be using her for," Ares answers and his smile blooms like a poisonous flower, beautiful but deadly.

"I'm cooperating willingly," You correct.

Xu Mo looks at you and you hold his stare.

"I don't agree with him. I don't agree with you either. But if I can lower the number of people who would get hurt then I can't stand aside and do nothing."

Memories of that coliseum and the cries, yells, screams, and the iron scent of blood and wetness on your hands crowd into your mind. Long practice had you shoving those memories out in a blink.

"What happened?" Xu Mo asks though as if he sees through you just as Ares does.

His gentleness nearly breaks you but you shake your head.

Xu Mo falls silent for a beat before he speaks again, directing his words this time to Ares, although a strange expression crosses his face as he says the name. "Ares, she's more important than you know. You see it too, don't you? Continue on as you are and it'll just dim more."

His words make no sense to you but when you look over to Ares you see the ruthless ice in his eyes crack for the first time and a fine tremble runs through his arms before he clenches his fist to restrain it. The creak of leather is loud in the quiet of the room.

"What do you know?" Ares' voice is flat but echoes with violence.

The smile that appears on Xu Mo's face is like an unsheathed blade. "Do you even need to ask?"

Ares raises his hand---

That's when you step in physically, looking between the two of them. "Stop! We should be looking for a way out of here, not fighting each other."

Xu Mo slides both of his hands into the pockets of his coat and inclines his head to you with a kind smile, "You're right. I'm sorry."

Ares only lowers his hand after he sees Xu Mo's actions. His lips twist down into a second of a frown before he makes a demand to you. "Come here."

You ignore him though, much to Xu Mo's soft laughter. Having gotten both of their agreements not to fight, you break away to explore the room. It's a disorienting pure white which would normally make you lose your bearings but, for some reason, you can still see the walls and corners of the room which gives it a sense of dimension. However, there's no doors, windows, or anything to give you a clue as to how to get out.

Xu Mo and Ares are doing their own exploration, the two of them keeping a pointed distance away from each other with you in the center, but it doesn't look like they've found anything either.

Just as you're about to wonder if you and Ares need to re-create the circumstances that brought you two here you step on something that crinkles.

"I found something!" You exclaim as you bend down to pick up the piece of paper that was also pure white and had blended into the floor until you stepped on it.

Both of them come beside you when you turn the paper over and discover that there's writing on this side.

"Everyone must agree on one thing...?" You read it out loud, puzzled. "Isn't that easy? We all want to get out of here and go back to where we were, right?"

Xu Mo hums thoughtfully from your right. Ares is silent on your left. You wait a few seconds for something to happen but nothing does.

"Um... why isn't anything happening?"

Ares chuckles and then raises an eyebrow when you look over. "Shouldn't you ask yourself that? Do you really wish to go back? Or perhaps you secretly want to stay here with him."

You cross your arms and ignore how defensive that makes you look. "You're one to talk. I'm sure you don't want to pass on this chance to pick Xu Mo's brain."

If one genius was already terrifying in all his forms then what would the two same geniuses do together? Fortunately, you're a bit relieved that, for some reason, the two of them were antagonistic towards each other from the start.

Ares looks over your head to Xu Mo on your other side. "I won't deny that."

You follow his line of sight to Xu Mo, who casts his eyes down. His eyelashes cover the emotions in his eyes. "To be honest, I'd like to know more about what happened to you." Between us goes unsaid.

"Is there a point? We don't even know if we'll keep our memories of this place," You say with a laugh to cover how you press your arms tighter into yourself.

Xu Mo raises his eyes and something surges within their depths as he looks at you. He reaches out and brushes the back of a finger against the corner of your eye and down your cheek. You reflexively blink at the action. You aren't crying. You know you aren't crying right now. But why does it feel like he's tracing the trail of tears you spilled before?

Your careful expression collapses and you don't know what sort of face you have, but it makes Xu Mo pull you into his arms and then you're enveloped in his embrace. The faint scent of grasslands after a rain shower reaches your nose and it's this familiarity which makes your eyes burn.

He wasn't him. But he was close. An earlier shade of the man you know and miss even after everything that happened between you two. The man who would cut you to pieces at a conference, but also take you back to his home for one last movie together.

"I don't know what I'm going to do," Xu Mo murmurs beside your ear. He pauses for a moment before sighing lightly, "But I'm sorry."

"No you aren't," Your response is muffled due to his shirt and the sting in your nose.

His chest vibrates against you from his silent laugh. "I won't regret my actions, no, but I can regret whatever pain it brings to you."

Xu Mo presses his lips against the crown of your head and closes his arms around you tighter. In your head, you tell yourself that you can have this one moment. If, like you said, no one will have memories of this place then you can indulge in his words and this dream, can't you?

Ares cuts in just as you're about to hug Xu Mo back. "I know what we can all agree on."

You startle in Xu Mo's arms, having forgotten Ares' presence for a second with how quiet he had been. You look over your shoulder to see him studying the two of you with unreadable emotions in his eyes.

But then he looks to Xu Mo and the corners of his lips rise into a challenging smirk. "Well?"

Xu Mo appraises Ares before he squeezes you gently and laughs. "Yes, of course I'd agree to this."

You can't read the undercurrent of conversation between the two and can only look back and forth in confusion. In fact, it sounded as if there was another meaning to Xu Mo's words. What is everyone going to agree on? Why are they suddenly so cooperative?

~~~

Some time later, you're still not sure how you got into this situation and what it has to do with getting out of this room.

You're in Ares' lap, facing him. The floor beneath him is covered by both his and Xu Mo's jackets and the white and black fabric mix together to provide a fascinating contrast. Not that you can appreciate it right now as lips trail down your neck and, despite their coolness, Ares' breath is hot when it spills over your skin. Your hands, which are gripping his shoulders, tremble and you struggle to find your voice.

"Wait, wait, I'm still confused. How is this going to get us out?"

"We can all agree that you're special," Xu Mo answers from behind you in a low voice beside your ear.

"And---" Your breath stutters when he splays a hand over your rib cage and his thumb brushes the underside of your breast. "---if I don't agree?"

"Then I suppose we'll have to get you to agree to wanting this," Ares is the one who answers this time before he raises his head and kisses you.

His tongue pries into your mouth with an indomitable force and his hand, ungloved now, grips the back of your head to keep you in place. It's an oppressive and dizzying kiss, stealing your senses and trying to ensnare your soul, and even when you reflexively push against him for air he doesn't let up. He angles the kiss deeper, laying claim to everything inside your mouth with his tongue.

Finally, when he releases you and you fall backwards into Xu Mo's chest, shoulders heaving as you pant, Ares raises a thumb to wipe the wetness on his lips. His eyes are dark to the point where you can barely see a hint of purple in them.

Before you can react further though, your head is suddenly turned to the side with a light hold on your chin and Xu Mo kisses you.

He caresses your lips gently with his, soothing their raw state from Ares' pressure, and doesn't push any further, just brushes his lips over yours again and again and again until you reach back to curl a hand around his nape and pull him into a kiss. You feel a smile against your mouth before he obliges you and deepens the kiss.

His tongue strokes lightly against yours and the tenderness ignites a slow warmth at the pit of your stomach. You clench your legs instinctively and hear a low grunt from Ares; but soon enough Ares reaches behind you to pull at the laces of your dress. You break away from Xu Mo's kiss to gasp, but he immediately presses forward to seal your lips together again, swallowing your surprise.

He only pulls back enough to murmur, "Breathe through your nose," a smile in his voice, before he kisses you again. You feel one of his hands cup your cheek, fingers curling to brush against the sensitive skin behind your ear, and you lean into him with a tremor.

It's only when his other hand on your rib cage moves up to cup your breast, making you instinctively arch into that gentle touch, that you realize you're bare up there. The laces of your dress had been undone by Ares and, at some point, the top had pooled down to your waist. Embarrassment mixes with the haze of pleasure, but you're unable to do anything but close your eyes at Xu Mo's caresses.

He ends the kiss and turns his head to the side slightly, leaving you to breathe raggedly against his cheek, and watches Ares.

"Bright, isn't it?" Xu Mo asks.

Ares moves his gaze off of your chest with what seems like effort to glance at Xu Mo. "Are you trying to change my mind?"

"Would you change your mind?" It's a rhetorical question which they both know the answer to. "I'm simply providing you with all the facts so that you can make an informed decision."

A muscle jumps in Ares' cheek before he chooses to keep silent and slides the hand he has on your thigh up, dragging the hem of your dress along with his movement, until your underwear comes into view.

This snaps you out of your daze and you seize Ares' wrist with a hand. He stills beneath your touch and his eyes flash towards yours, brimming with something dark and heavy.

"Shhh," Xu Mo soothes you, feeling you tremble under the weight of Ares' eyes, and then his voice becomes firm when he calls out to his other self. "Ares."

Ares' shoulders twitch at hearing his name in that tone and he closes his eyes tightly, creating a deep furrow between his brows, before he sighs and draws back the hand in your grip and flips his hand around so that he's holding yours instead. Before you can react, he then brings your hand to his groin and presses it against an obvious hardness.

Your gaze flies up from your joined hands to his and you stop breathing when you see the ice in Ares' eyes thaw, revealing hints of a lost look in the depths of those dark purple lakes.

Ares releases his hand from yours, letting you decide whether to keep it there or not, and wraps both arms around your waist before he lowers his head to press it into your sternum. You feel his lips move against your skin more than you hear him say in a hoarse voice, "Don't reject me this time."

Neither of the men move as they wait on your decision. Xu Mo is a quiet and calm presence behind you with both hands having dropped to your hips, below Ares' arms, and drawing calming circles there. Ares keeps his embrace tight but not painful and he just breathes against you, forehead pressed to your chest.

Behind you is the man that he once was. In front of you is the man that he could have been. You might have tried to delude yourself with reasons and justifications for why you're with Ares or why you let them continue to this point, but you know the truth. The answer in your heart is that no matter the world, the time, the form, all these versions of him were still him and somehow, before you knew it, his soul and your soul had been bound together forever with a red string.

Emotions really did cause people to fall into traps. But it was much too late for you and him to escape this emotion called love. Closing your eyes, you let yourself go and free fall.

Feeling your body relax, Xu Mo exhales a hot breath against your ear --- Ares exhales a hot breath against your chest --- and you feel Xu Mo's hand move down --- and you feel Ares trail his lips to the swell of a breast --- Xu Mo slides his fingers beneath your underwear --- Ares wraps his mouth around a swollen tip --- Xu Mo grazes your wet and aching core and then---

---you wake up in a bed.

You stare up at the white ceiling, feeling your head pound with a sudden onset of fatigue, but your body is flush with arousal and you can still remember what had nearly happened. Turning your stiff neck, you see that you're in a hospital room, which doesn't help orient you at all.

Did you return with Ares? Or are you some place else?

Suddenly, you feel a presence outside the room. There's a knock on the door and then a familiar voice which you had just heard seconds ago asks, "Are you awake? May I come in?"

#love and producer #mlqc #mr love queen's choice #mlqc xu mo #mlqc lucien #mlqc fanfic #oops i realized his hot spring date comes after rainy night...#NOT IN THIS WORLD everything is pre-13 lolol #who is it at the door??#depends on whether you want soft love or rough love-- lolol

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whumpcreations · 3 years

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Whumpmas in July - Day 24: I can´t

CW: mention of whump of minors (very vague), mention of starving, mention of war (and everything that comes with it), (maybe a little bit of guilt tripping - I´m not sure)

This happens one or two years before Vanya meets Kallias.

Together they were standing outside the camp deep enough in the forest to not be heard from the other soldiers sitting around the fire. Vanya wanted to scream and shout at her brother who just told her the dumbest and most foolish plan he ever had.

Vanya took a few deep breaths to calm herself down before responding. "That´s crazy. It is unnecessary dangerous and will lead to nothing. Do you really think people don´t know what´s really going on?", she hissed.

"Maybe they do know there´s something going on. You´re right, they are not blind nor brainless - at least most of them. But I´m sure they don´t know what really happens in these camps and how their government truely wages war." Aaris was passionate about this.

Vanya raised her face to the last rays of sun forcing back the emerging tears. Her brother had always been the good one, the idealist. Despite the war he was fighting in Aaris had always dreamt of a better world - and he was ready to suffer for it. Vanya on the other hand was the selfish dark and twisted sister without emotions only passionated about being the best in the unit.

"Don´t you think that people want to know how their children are trained, what they have to do? Don´t you think they are interested in where all the soldiers come from and how they are sacrificed in masses?", her brother continued.

"And don´t YOU think that it absolutely doesn´t matter to them? Whole families are starving or freezing to death; for them it is totally irrelevant what happens to the sons and daughters of others as long as they survive the next winter." Vanya had a hard time not shouting at Aaris. It had been a while since she had felt that much anger. Aaris went still, his face cold and repellent but unter the mask he looked guilty.

"There is more, isn´t it?", Vanya whispered.

"All the other nations, even the neutral ones, hopefully won´t tolerate the abuse of children and the fact that the government buys them just to let them die in the first row on the battlefield." There was a deadly silence between the two siblings. Vanya could feel all the colour draining from her face.

"That´s high treason", Vanya whispered with a trembling in her voice. Slowly, she released her breath and felt the first tear running down her face angrily wiping it away with the back of her hand. Aaris wore his guilt openly on his face now. This look made her so angry and all she wanted to do was beating this terrible idea out of her brother - and hopefully some reason into him.

"I´m not expecting you to help me. I just-"

"NO!", Vanya interrupted him louder than she wanted to. "No", she repeated - quieter this time. "I love you and I won´t let you do this. I won´t just stand there and watch you get yourself killed because that´s what it is- a damn suicide mission. You´re the only one I have left, the only one I can trust. I just- I just can´t let you get yourself killed; can´t watch them execute you." Her voice was husky from the suppressed tears. Aaris opened his mouth to say something but Vanya interrupted him again.

"And what about Micah? Didn´t you talk about marrying him just last week? Do you think he wants to marry just to be a widower soon after? Because if you do this they will get you and they will execute you and the whole nation will celebrate your death." Her anger was gone now and only the fear for her brother remained. She clung to his shoulders and whispered: "So please, please don´t do this. You´re the only one I have left. I love you and I can´t lose you."

Before Aaris could answer and voice interrupted them: "Aaris, Vanya, where are you? Are you okay?"

They returned to the fireplace and Vanya could only hope that Aaris would think about it again.

#I think I need a title for this story soon #any suggestions?#I´m so bad at titles #whumpmasinjuly #wijday24 #wij21day24 #I cant #Vanya #Aaris #whump #writing #my writing

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whatdidimissjm · 4 years

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Jamilton Month Day 16 - Picnic

This is a sequel to day 10 :)

Alex is a bit confused, when Thomas shows up at his place at eight p.m. and tells him to grab a jacket and follow him to his car.

“What are we doing?”, he asks, but Thomas just smiles and shoves him forward. “I won´t get in the car if you don´t tell me where we are going.”, he tries again, but all he gets from Thomas is a kiss to his cheek, before he opens the passenger door.

“Do you trust me?”, Thomas asks, when Alex still doesn´t move.

“Normally I´d say yes, but I feel like this is the moment you are showing your real face and I will get killed.”

Thomas rolls his eyes and starts laughing.

“Yeah, this theory has so many flaws that I won´t even try to name, so just get in the car, will you?”

Alex pouts, but does as he´s told, waiting for Thomas to get in as well, before he leans over and kisses him.

“I could give you a blowjob in exchange for not killing me.”, he says seductively, and Thomas groans.

“Why do I even put up with you?”

“Because you love me?”, Alex suggests, and he sees a smile growing on Thomas´ face.

“Yeah, that could be it.”

Alex can´t help but smile himself, squeezing Thomas´ knee.

“So, how long will we be driving?”, he asks, already connecting his phone to the speakers.

“For some time.”, Thomas gives back, and Alex groans.

They arrive at their destination about two and a half hours later, and Alex has been complaining about it for at least two hours of the drive. He gets out and stretches, looking around sceptically.

“Where are we?”, he asks irritated.

Thomas has stopped the car in the middle of the woods, far away from any civilisation.

“That, my love, is a forest.”, Thomas explains.

“Haha. I know that. But like, what are we doing in the middle of a forest, in the middle of the night? Fuck, are you actually a serial killer.”, Alex jokes, but he can´t deny that he is a bit nervous about the whole situation. He hates surprises.

Thomas just rolls his eyes, tells him he is ridiculous, and rounds the car, resting his hands on Alexander´s hips, before he leans down and kisses him.

“We´re still not there though, we gotta walk a bit.”, Thomas informs him. “It is still a surprise, so is it okay if I blindfold you?”

Alex grins.

“Kinky.”

“Yeah, I should just handcuff you to a tree. Would you like that?”

Thomas gives a light slap to Alex´ butt, before moving to the trunk of his car and taking out a blindfold. Alex had somehow thought he was joking.

“You just carry that around or-?”, he teases.

Thomas just shakes his head grinning and moves behind Alex.

“Okay?”, he asks, and puts the blindfold over Alexander´s eyes, when he nods.

Alex shivers, as he feels the smooth material slide over his skin and lets out a soft gasp when Thomas kisses his neck.

“I´ll just get something from the booth and then we´re good to go.”

Alex shifts from one food to the other, while listening to Thomas rummage around in the car.

“I´ll touch you now.”, Thomas informs him after some time, but Alex still flinches, when he feels the other man take his arm.

They walk like this for a few minutes, and Alex is amazed how much he trusts Thomas to keep him safe.

“Wait here for a second and only take the mask off when I tell you, alright?”

Alex nods, the nervousness returning as Thomas lets go of his arm and takes a few steps.

“You´ll stay close, right?”, Alex asks, his voice slightly worried.

“Of course, darling. I´m right here.”

Thomas keeps taking to him, while he does whatever Alex isn´t supposed to see, which help to calm his nerves. After a few minutes of Alex fidgeting around in complete darkness, he feels Thomas touching his back and jumps at the contact.

“Sorry, should have warned you.”, he says. “I´ll take off your blindfold now, okay?”

Alex nods again, shifting impatiently from one foot to the other while Thomas works the knot.

“Keep still.”, Thomas instructs, grabbing his head tighter, and Alex does his best to follow the order.

His boyfriend´s hands are soft and careful, but he still manages to pull on a few of Alexander´s hairs, which causes him to let out a whine.

“Ready?”, Thomas asks, when he has finally gotten the knot untied.

“If you want me to say ´ready when you are´ because you are obsessed with Ruby Red, I´m punching you.”

Thomas just groans and removes the blindfold from Alex´ head, who blinks a few times to get his eyes to focus again. Thomas takes his hand in his and walks him out of the woods to a clearing. Alex gasps as he takes in the scene before him; there is a big blanket on the ground, with a bottle of wine and some food in the middle, but the most impressive sight are the candles that are lit around it, covering everything in a soft and warm light.

“Happy belated anniversary.”, Thomas whispers, kissing his shoulder softly. “It´s an apologize that I kind of ruined our actual anniversary.”

Alex feels his throat tighten and he takes a moment to reply, blinking away the tears.

“This is the greatest thing anyone has ever done for me.”, he mumbles, his voice thick with emotion. “It´s beautiful.”

He turns around in Thomas´ embrace, wrapping his arms around his neck and getting on his tiptoes to kiss him. It´s slow and sweet and Alex can feel a few tears slipping down his face. He laughs a bit awkwardly when they part again, brushing them away with the back of his hand.

“Don´t tell that to anyone.”, he jokes, and Thomas rolls his eyes.

“As if I´d do that.”

Thomas steps out of the embrace and guides Alex to the blanket. They sit down and Thomas opens the bottle of wine, while Alex looks around in awe, taking in everything around him.

“You shouldn´t drink though.”, Alex says, when Thomas hands him his glass. “You still have to drive home.”

Thomas just smiles and shakes his head.

“I don´t. I own a small cabinet here, where we´ll spend the night.”

Alex just stares at him, at loss for words.

“My god, you are amazing.”

Thomas laughs softly at that and leans over to kiss Alex.

“Only the best for you, my love.”

#jamilton #jamilton month #jamilton month 2020 #thomas jefferson #alexander hamilton #hamilton #hamilton musical #hamilton fic #my fics #mine #my writing

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manuscripts-dontburn · 4 years

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The Doll Factory

Author: Elizabeth Macneal

First published: 2019

Pages: 336

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 3 days

I felt that this book, while perhaps not exceptional, was very well put together. It was paced just right and the sense of growing dread escalates in a way which kept me glued to the page. Truly well written historical fiction.

Heaven and Hell: A History of the Afterlife

Author: Bart D. Ehrman

First published: 2020

Pages: 352

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 2 days

I am rather conflicted about this book. Firstly, as a Christian bordering on agnosticism (I have never been a part of any church and my family is completely atheistic), I felt both somehow comforted by Ehrman´s deductions and somewhat resentful at the same time. Not because he very convincingly talks about the changing of religious perspectives (I am a historian myself so that information was only natural), but because he is clearly working with the notion of non-existence of God, not really treating it as a possibility. That, however, is my own personal issue. Objectively speaking, this is a very good book. Though academic in tone, it reads quite easily and is obviously well researched. The title, however, is misleading. Like many others, I had expected this to be a study of VARIOUS theories of afterlives, but 80% of the book is focused on early Christianity only. Not that isn´t fascinating, but for people hoping to learn something about other religions and cultures and their post-mortem ideas, it can only represent a big disappointment. So - know what you are getting, have an open mind and you might find this book a worthy addition to your personal library.

Wuthering Heights The Graphic Novel

Author: Emily Brontë, John M. Burns

First published: 2011

Pages: 160

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 1 day

I don´t think there is much to review. I love the original book. I enjoyed its re-imagining here.

The Vanishing

Author: Sophia Tobin

First published: 2017

Pages: 390

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

How long did it take: 3 days

This was sort of OK I guess??? The beginning was promising, but I lost interest in the latter half, which also became somewhat convoluted. Not very memorable, though Sophia Tobin´s writing style is fine. I would not mind trying another book by her in the future.

The Mercies

Author: Kiran Millwood Hargrave

First published: 2020

Pages: 352

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 7 days

Stunningly-written and deeply moving, this book has really only one weakness. It somewhat drags in the middle. But the atmosphere is alive and palpable and the emotions pure and real. There are many other books dealing with the topic of witch-trials, but few manage to be as powerful as well as respectfully restrained. Hargrave as an author knows how to keep the balance and her book beautiful.

The Wizard of Oz and Other Wonderful Books of Oz: The Emerald City of Oz and Glinda of Oz

Author: Frank L. Baum

First published: 1900, 1910, 1920

Pages: 432

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 5 days

This book is not commonly known in my country and so I have only read it for the first time now when I am over thirty. It definitely has its charm, especially the first volume, which holds some beautiful truths one wishes to teach the children (or adults). The Emerald City of Oz and Glinda of Oz are both mostly just a flight of fancy with no actual conflict. In fact, the danger to any of the characters is so nonexistent it begs the question of "why should I care". Not bad, but perhaps I would have loved it more if I was 5, not 33. Mea culpa.

Vasilisa the Wise and Other Tales of Brave Young Women

Author: Kate Forsyth

First published: 2017

Pages: 103

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 1 day

Very sweet retelling of several classic fairytales in which the girl saves herself (even if she needs some help by others, and the others are never the prince).

Author: J.J. Abrams, Doug Dorst

First published: 2013

Pages: 456

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 19 days

This book felt like an acid trip with Umberto Eco or something in a similar vein to me. I was rather terrified that the whole thing would be completely dependant on the unusual format, but to my delight, the format merely enhances and enriches the actual novel, which in itself is dark, confusing, moving, terrifying, philosophical and weirdly fascinating. I am sure a lot has escaped my attention or flew over my head, but I welcome it because it gives me more reason to return to the book in the future. It was not all flawless though. My biggest gripe, as an actual Czech person, is that even though so much effort and thought went into the creation of this book, the author decided that Google translate will do just fine - and no surprise - it did not. There are not many instances of the Czech language being used, but when it is... it is all wrong. The Czech language is quite difficult and complex and Google translate does not know how to deal with it most of the time. Just one example: In the book, Eric writes OPICE TANCE on the wall and says it is Czech for "MONKEY DANCES". Yeah. Yeah, it is. IF THE WORD "DANCES" IS TAKEN AS A NOUN IN PLURAL. The correct translation would be "OPICE TANČÍ" and trust me it IS a big big difference. (Do not get me started on the vintage newspaper article....) You definitely need a lot of brainpower and focus when reading, this is not an easy book to follow. You also need to accept that not all questions are answered. I am glad I read it though. I found it an interesting experience.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Author: J.R.R. Tolkien

First published: 1954

Pages: 407

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 3 days

What can I say? Yet again I had goosebumps and tears in my eyes. Few, very few books have the power of this one.

Mexican Gothic

Author: Silvia Moreno-Garcia

First published: 2020

Pages: 301

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 12 days

I don´t have much to say but I was a bit bored at the beginning, but it turned out to be a pretty wild ride.

Aristokratka u královského dvora

Author: Evžen Boček

First published: 2020

Pages: 184

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 1 day

Miluji celou tuto sérii, bohužel tento díl mi, ač stále zábavný, přišel prozatím nejslabší... Měla jsem pocit, že první polovina knihy opustila můj oblíbený, laskavý humor teenagerky, která se musí potýkat s výstřední rodinou a situací, a sklouzává spíše trochu k upřímné krutosti... Doufám, že další pokračování se vrátí ke své laskavosti.

The Splendid and the Vile: A Saga of Churchill, Family and Defiance During the Blitz

Author: Erik Larson

First published: 2020

Pages: 608

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 2 days

An excellent and above all readable account of a chapter in the WW2 history. Larson explains well why Churchill was the best man for that dark hour and why he is still viewed as a hero in Europe (his questionable and even abhorrent views and actions in the context of the British Empire and people of other races notwithstanding), as the person who stood up to Hitler and pretty much kept the fires of defiance burning. There is definitely not enough "family" in this "family saga", but given the sheer amount of material and information presented to the reader, I suppose the author struck an acceptable balance between the politics and the private matters.

Conjure Women

Author: Afia Atakora

First published: 2020

Pages: 416

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 8 days

The beginning of this book seemed tiring, and at risk of sounding insensitive, not interesting, since it seemed to tackle the same things that have already been tackled. But then there appeared strands of stories and of secrets, and suddenly I just needed to know everything. The whole story then appears as an artful mosaic. The last chapter felt unnecessary though and I did not understand its meaning if it was supposed to have any.

#booklr #wrap up #October 2020

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