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#this one i just. idk. genuinely feel like i watched a different show than some people because so many of their interactions
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Yesterday i got the craziest message out of the blue .. My ex bf from 2011-2013's other ex gf who he was with before me hit me up to say that he got arrested?? And that her and like 5 other people are pressing charges against him for assault spanning across all different periods of time.. it's really wild idk how to feel. She said if i feel comfortable i can give my own testimony for when they go to court , even tho i dont live in england anymore.. Im like yeah honestly i will because like this dude is so unrelentingly violent and scary he legit almost killed me it was so extreme, i've known a lot of corrupt ppl but he is the only one i've always thought needs to be locked away from society like it's a murder scene waiting to happen not to mention he is just a straightup rapist
it's crazy too cus like 4 or 5 nights ago i had a dream that me and him and the girl who messaged me were all watching videos of ourselves in that time period like i even posted about it on here. i thought it was just a typical trauma processing dream not an actual premonition of something i would have to revisit irl
She said something about how she'd been looking back in her old fb messages with him to help paint a picture of the timeline so out of morbid curiosity today i checked to see if i still had ours. Sure enough i do, i've never looked at them retroactively before, but holy shit like... He is so much more of a monster than i even remembered, i dont get triggered easily anymore but it genuinely hurt my heart to see how horrible he was. Every conversation is just him snapping at me because i didnt respond to him fast enough or something so minor, and the whole time im just trying to apologize and de-escalate but it makes him more and more furious. the day before i was about to fly to london to move back in with him he was threatening to kill himself because i was going to my friends house to say bye to them. He was like "You're going to a party i just know it you're lying to me you'd never tell me you're really going to a party because you know i'm suicidal you've ruined my night you're a piece of shit" Like this was the NIGHT before i was about to leave everything behind just for him
i'm like rly shocked at everything i saw in that convo today im not even scratching the surface with this post. Anyways i guess it's cool that there is some justice happening right now and the people who survived him have been able to band together to try and ensure he can't hurt anyone else in the future. i rly wish none of us ever had to go thru any of that tho ugh i was so young i just really had no idea and it fucked me up for many many years afterwards. ive come a long way tho .
ill probly delete later cus idk who lurks this blog. i prefer not to show weakness :K But yeah.. just wanted to express this crazy unexpected life event and get it off my chest while its fresh
Peace and love !!!
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kohakhearts · 8 months
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choosing violence /lh. ship ask game- LEASTTTTTTT favorite pokeani ship for the ask game?
JDFGJHFHJFD OH GOD. OK. i try hard not to be a hater on main but i guess now is my time....sorry folks </3
amour/shipping: don't ship it :(
why don't you ship it?
see the thing that sucks so bad about the dynamic is that like. i could genuinely get behind it if every scene that was made to make me WANT to wasn't so awful. i think ash treats serena terribly 90% of the time, and her behaviour around him is uncomfortable to watch except for times when the narrative doesn't want you to think about the fact that she's got a crush on him (which is...very rarely, but those moments DO exist). from the wearing his clothes and pretending to be him when he's sick and can't battle someone (???) to The Kiss, there's just a lot of........ick factor for me. i want so badly to like it i really do but it crosses too many lines in ways that are Framed as Cute UwU for me to operate around that
what would have made you like it?
more scenes like the snowbelle serena throwing the snowball at his head scene maybe to be honest. i think that was actually a good moment for them in the sense that like...she forced him to acknowledge that he was making her feel like shit! which i think he does a lot throughout xy and it just. sucks. i agree that he does treat her differently than his other female companions - he treats her a lot worse than them, and i genuinely think it all comes down to how hard the writers were actually trying to push the romance angle. if they had just had more opportunities to be open and honest with each other As Friends, idk. maybe then
despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?
look there are like. a small handful of ships out there that i at this point would genuinely consider notps. 2 of my biggest of all time, i actually now ship through the process of writing them myself. i desperately hope one day to count amour among them but right now. all i've really got is that they're funny to clown on. which doesn't feel very positive but i can't think of anything else JDFGJHFDKFHJ
send me a ship!
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readymades2002 · 2 months
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genuinely it is difficult having cultivated the like. taste in fiction that i have now that i am in a place where i'm trying to talk to people more and make friends and so on and so forth and this is the field i'm having to play on with them. i don't think anyone has to be critic-brained (i do think its good to recognize that media is Authored and to look at things with both eyes open but some people simply enjoy things in other ways and i may get irritated by that but i don't suppose its Wrong) and i have in fact met people who Will meet me in that field but it doesnt change that the field i like to play in is much different and no one is expected to meet me there in the same way i am expected to play ball with marvel fans
#i find criticism and critique allows me a way into that field actually because i do not care for marvel#but if i try to pick it apart and see what its doing i can at least Converse with people about something#but its like. idk. thats an effort i make to talk to people and i dont find people do the same thing for me#and i dont really feel like its fair for me to ask either. in some ways that is me being silly and embarrassed and shy and all that#but in other ways its like well im not going to tell the most normal people i know to read flower that bloomed nowhere with me.#it gives people the impression that i live under a rock! i dont think i live under a rock i know about lots of stuff#its just different stuff and i dont usually talk without prompting and i find it hard to talk about something#if i think the other person wont know about it and ill have to explain it to them and hope maybe they look into it#i have looked into things for other people. i don't find people usually do that for me#there are even situations USUALLY with my mother if im being honest where she will take recommendations seriously#from genuinely everyone BUT me even watching things she'd normally never touch and its like Okay .#...#ive been having a hard week. its probably going to get harder as well (i go back to work tomorrow and i wasted my time off#being in pain and miserable and not being a presence in my own life)#and there is something about showing up to work with worse sh scars than usual and belt bruises on my neck#keeping my head down and not saying anything and having no one say anything to me at all that makes me feel. i dont know#how to word it. had a little breakdown alone in my* room yesterday and found myself sobbing 'help me' a lot#and maybe thats the root of it. i dont feel like people try for me the way i have been trying and it makes me feel like i am not worth#making the effort for. and i also dont know how to express this or ask for help without looking like a brat </3 so#anyway. ignore all that please thats embarrassing.
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shaisuki · 3 months
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Hi!! Idk if you're taking requests but I'll shoot my shot!!
I wanted to know if you add onto the suna and Miya twins bully series where the reader decides to leave the team and join another (preferably nekoma) and gets a new trio (kuroo, kenma and Yamamoto) who actually praises and appreciate her and she decides to rub it in their face by sending videos of the trio fucking her and cute photos and when the Miya twins and suna try to confront her they get told off by her new boys😋
you've gotten petty and bold.
it's not like you planned it more like it was suggested to you. since you transferred to nekoma and made genuine connection to your team. it was like a weight lifted off you and you weren't scared on what about to happen. you don't get harassed after school hours and the team shows how grateful they are to you. going as far giving you trinkets they knew you would like.
nekomata-sensei treated you like his granddaughter and manabu-sensei looks out for you at times. for the first time, you thought that you really found your team for you and them the manager they always wanted. not treating you differently since you're a previous manager at powerhouse team and a regular contender in the nationals. a manager is a manager they say and you greeted them with a smile and the care you can provide for them as a manager.
that is the reason you have gotten close with the team captain. kuroo tetsurou. charming he can be and a handsome face to boost. it didn't took long for you and him to hit it and it extended with his friend and the team's setter, kozume kenma. you like kenma and it reminds you of yourself a bit. introverted and likes to keep to themself which you didn't mind at all. it took him a long time for him to warm up to you and the rest was history and there's yamamoto who can't talk without stuttering to you. kuroo said he's that nervous only when a girl talk to him. you find the gesture cute and other than his younger sister, you found out one time when you talked to him and he seems to relax at the thought of his sister, it was almost normal how he spoke to you like a friend. comfortable and inviting that's why you're the one who took his virginity.
“does it feels good, tora-kun?” you asked him, although a little breathless. his cock huge and nestled deeply inside your pussy. eyes closing and breath labored trying himself not to bust the moment you sink your fat cunt to his cock. “y-yes.” he stutters. fists clenching and he bites a back a moan when you started to move. “good. let me take care of you.”
then you began to have your own trio. the kindest of the trio. they would whisper you sweet nothings followed by appreciation that you were a good manager while you bounce on their cocks. you've never felt this so good about yourself, not even in the previous team you managed. this was the best and kuroo knowing how the inarizaki team treated you especially those three who fooled you, devises a plan. suggesting that you send a video and pictures of how they are treating you well and you agreed.
it was suna who received it. the videos and then followed many more. circumstances have forced you to left the school and went to move to tokyo where he recently found out that you were also the team's manager of the school volleyball club. he was pissed and then the twins received it. they were fuming. you allowed yourself to be somebody's cumdump instead of only them and they currently watched the videos you sent just to tub them in their faces from how good they were fucking you plus the praises that got your slutty pussy gushing.
first, it was you and then some three guys in the video. you're bouncing on someone's dick (yamamoto's) while you give a handjob to the other guy (kenma) obscured by the video and only his lower body can be seen in the video and you're blowing someone (kuroo's). his hands in your cheeks while he swallows your cock. telling you how much of a good girl you are for taking care of them and their cocks. letting them blow off the steam in their bodies to you. exceeding what a manager can do for her teammates. your speech garbled, slobbering all over kuroo's cock. they can see you were smiling while looking at the camera. swallowing his cock deeper and bouncing more on yamamoto's cock. a huge fuck you to them. all suna knows that it would be the first and last just to let them know how you're doing but it was proven wrong when you send a video again and then again.
it was different the videos are. one of them is you sitting while kuroo eats your pussy. the squelch of your pussy and the smacking of his lips can be heard while you moan in the background. your fingers gripping his hair while you grind on his face more which the latter eagerly lap your heat more. the other is all of your holes are stuff. dripping with their cum while you pose a peace sign with their spent all over you. it was endless.
and when they confronted you about it of how a huge slut are you for letting guys fuck you like that, let's say your new trio defended you. if they can't appreciate you they will and that seems to shut the ex-trio who are your bullies. ex-bullies.
you rewarded them three with a tlc that can only come from you.
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noodlesarecheese · 5 months
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So Watcher is launching a Dropout (it's not called Dropout but they're clearly using the same template format platform thing idk what it's called, and the same pricing structure), and the reaction so far has been wildly different than what I remember from Dropout's launch. I was curious about why that was or if I was just misremembering the Dropout launch, so I went back to the Dropout launch video to compare them and I think I can see where some of the difference is coming from.
If you want to make the comparison yourself: Watcher's Video, Dropout's Video.
I wanna clarify first though that this isn't a knock against Watcher or the fans who are reacting one way or another or anything like that, I genuinely am just fascinated with how different the reactions are to what seems to be the same business decision. This also isn't a 'wow watcher sucks and dropout is so much better' I'm just using them for comparison because they did the same thing with different results. ALSO this isn't about the business decision itself, just the presentation! Disclaimers out of the way, here's the analysis.
Title and Thumbnail So the Watcher.tv announcement video is titled "Goodbye Youtube" and the thumbnail is Ryan, Shane, and Steven sitting on a couch looking serious, with a dark background. That really makes it seem like they're quitting (which, ok, they are quitting youtube but not quitting quitting). Viewers are already primed to be upset, and it's easier to go from upset to angry than upset to excited, curious, or neutral.
Compare to the dropout announcement video: "How the Internet is Ruining Comedy" - inline with other collegehumor video titles, might make you curious. Thumbnail - Big News! with Sam smiling and a bright background. We know its big news, but he looks happy, and the exclamation point let's us know they want us to be excited. Viewers are primed to be curious and excited.
Tone The Watcher announcement has 2 main tones. The first half is very sentimental, almost sad or wistful at times, and while there are parts that veer into pride at achievements, it's mostly bittersweet and sentimental. The second half is a bit more uplifting, but still quite serious. It reminded me of a tech announcement, like when they introduce the new iphone or something like that. Very professional, sleek, and serious, which isn't automatically a bad thing! But I do think that's not the vibe a decently-sized chunk of the audience expected or wanted. Many people watch Watcher for the cast's dynamic with each other, humor, and the more relaxed/conversational/friendly feel that most of the series have.
Compare to dropout - excited and comedic tone. Still professional, but also fits the expectations of the viewers. People watch collegehumor for the humor (it was in the name, after all). They also poke a bit of fun at themselves, which lightens the mood, shows self-awareness, and alleviates some of the bad feelings about paywalling.
Focus The Watcher announcement focuses a lot on the creative journey of the cast and company, as well as how this move will benefit them. Which isn't a bad thing, that's actually quite interesting! The problem here, I think, is actually more about what isn't here - a solid explanation of how this will also benefit the viewers and why the viewers should be excited. There's a brief description of one new show, and the promise that existing shows will get an upgrade, but we weren't given many specific details about how they'll be improved, and there's only one new show to tempt us into subscribing. Some people will be excited for that, some people won't, and some people will be excited but not enough to subscribe. Having 2 or 3 series (even if it's 1 fleshed out plus a few teasers of what's in production or what is being planned) plus some more details about how existing shows will be improved would've helped. Without that, it really does seem like it'll just be the same stuff viewers were getting for free, but now paywalled, rather than new and exciting stuff. That makes a big difference. I think with the fans not getting as much focus, this also led to some (accidental, I hope) hurt feelings. Based on what I've seen from fan reactions, all the talk about hitting the peak of what they can do on youtube and wanting more, translated for many people to 'youtube isn't enough' which became 'you (the current viewers) aren't enough.' Which I don't think was their intent! But I also don't think fans are wrong for feeling hurt by that.
Compare to dropout: They clearly explain how the move will benefit fans, and reassure viewers that existing content will stay where it is, and only new content will be behind the paywall. (Watcher clarified this too, but in a comment. It's not in the video itself, which is a huge problem.) They include clips of several new (at the time) series that would be premiering on dropout, including things that specifically could not be made on youtube (due to weed, violence, and sexual humor), so the reason for the shift is clear to the audience.
Advertisers Both videos contain the sentiment that being monetarily successful on youtube means working to appease the advertisers, and that over time what the advertisers want and what the creators want drifts further and further apart, putting strain on the creators.
However, I think the message gets lost a bit in the Watcher vid. Instead, it leaves viewers with the idea that the main problem is just ads are annoying instead of advertisers putting constraints on content. I'm not even sure what the specific constraints are for watcher, because they didn't give any examples. And the focus on ads being annoying leaves viewers frustrated because people typically either don't mind ads or they already have an ad blocker.
Timing and Size Okay, this isn't exactly about presentation, but it is still a factor that impacts perception so I'm tackling it. And I'm actually going to do dropout first. CollegeHumor launched dropout in September 2018. Pre-pandemic, but also pre-Sam Reich as CEO. The company was still owned by IAC. It was a Company, and while it wasn't huge it wasn't tiny either. So launching dropout was a Company Decision, a Business Strategy. Some people were upset about, but it wasn't a personal betrayal (generally, anyways). If I remember correctly, this was also not a high point for the company. They kinda needed dropout to do well to keep things running smoothly (which is why they shut it down and sold it to Sam just 1 1/2ish years later), so the sudden shift made sense.
Watcher Entertainment is a company, but it doesn't feel like one. Ryan, Shane, and Steven own and operate things, but they're also the faces, and they're youtubers. Which makes every business decision they make feel more personal to viewers, especially those who have been watching for a long time. They've also seemingly been doing well on youtube, which makes it more difficult for viewers to understand why the sudden change is happening now. They do talk a bit about it, about the company expanding and wanting to do things that advertisers don't like (which I've already covered). However, mostly the choice to start a streaming platform is framed as 'the next big step' without much clarification on why it's the next big step. Plus, it's post-pandemic, and a lot of people are still struggling financially with the ripple effects of that. Yes, $6 isn't a wild amount of money, but there have been some months where $5 absolutely meant the difference between paying all my bills or not, and I know I'm not the only one. This, coupled with a lack of clarity about why exactly they're doing this, leads to fans feeling hurt, betrayed, bitter, and frustrated.
Now, presentation and framing isn't everything. No matter how perfect your announcement is, some people are still going to be upset. It's a big change, of course people will be upset! But I do think a more careful presentation would've alleviated some of the hurt and anger that fans are feeling. While I do think a lot of the reaction we're seeing is due to the decision, I think (based on what I've seen) that some of it is also based on the poor communication in the video itself, and that could've been avoided!
So I'm gonna get a little speculative and describe what I would've done. In this hypothetical, they've decided to launch the streaming service and brought me on just for the announcement.
Firstly, switch the title out. If they're married to Goodbye Youtube then add a (and hello...?) after so it's at least obvious they aren't fully quitting. The dark color scheme of the thumbnail fits their regular vibe, but they want everyone to be excited so they should look excited. Next, let's lighten the tone up. Being proud of what they've done so far is great, but we don't need the sentimental music and bittersweetness. Remember, the goal is to get viewers excited about what come's next - so let's focus on what actually comes next! Talk about specific show plans and mention why they wouldn't work on youtube. Then, take some time to reassure the fans. Predict a few likely worries and address them in the video. Acknowledge that it's a big change, that it will take time to get used to, and that not everyone will be onboard, and let the fans know that it's ok if they aren't onboard.
Like I said, this wouldn't fix everything. There are a few differences in between dropout and watcher that don't have anything to do with presentation. Dropout launched with primarily new shows rather than new seasons of existing shows, and they continued uploading to youtube relatively regularly in addition to the content behind the paywall, which I do think went a long way to keeping fans happy. At this point it's unclear if watcher will do either of those or not. But, while I don't think it would fix everything, I do think improved communication in the announcement would've helped.
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botanical-babes · 2 months
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CW: political cults, Jessie Gender, if you wanna stop hearing about her then scroll on
this is about why this cancelling is not like all other cancellings :V
Someone (not vagueing, i literally just dont remember the url as i post this, u can @ urself if u wanna lol) asked, validly, why people are so upset over Jessie Gender when she has barely any following, and not someone like Hasanabi who has a much bigger following.
And I think the reason a lot of us feel betrayed by Jessie is that she WASNT a politics channel. For all the "Lefttube" cult* (we will revisit this) changed her, she used to stick mostly to stellar commentary on Star Trek and very personal trans issues. This is what I think most of us loved from her before all this -- I think the Sex in Star Trek series being abandoned for all this shit is just a tragedy, for one. SO many Jews love Star Trek. It is perhaps one of the quintessentially Jewish shows of all time. And now she stabs us in the back -- et tu, Brute?
But I think the other thing is that we've actually just witnessed someone be subsumed into a political cult and watched them post one of the most bigoted things they have ever posted, as a result. :(
For a long time, I have watched what we know as LeftTube/BreadTube/etc start to grow, and I thought it started off fine enough, a group of creators similar enough that they started to become friends, show on each others channels, and collaborate.
But lately, and I think I noticed it especially with Foreign Man, I just feel like ... when someone gets accepted into the LeftTube clique, they undergo this process of Leftist sanitization and brainwashing into talking about a really specific loop of topics in a real specific kinda way. Its hard to talk about without visual examples, because like. Pre-Breadtube Foreign Man videos feel very different to the hyper-polished post-Breadtube videos in a way that shows he had to learn how to walk and talk and look like the rest of the group.
Its to a point that if you dont do that, they do ostracize you and treat you like you're stupid, like they did to Kidology who I think deserved private guidance and not a mass public shaming like she's an idiot instead of confused and working with some bad theory. I think F.D. had a responsibility to educate her on trans issues, and he actively made the decision not to because "I wont debate the rights of trans people, that makes me a bad ally." Like no, not educating others when you're in a position to do so makes you a bad ally. That's just one example of another minor but telling issue around Lefttube and how they operate.
And ... idk, I think for me there is an aspect of mourning the loss of a person to a political cult that comes with me leaving Jessie Gender behind. I genuinely don't think she can understand her bigotry until she steps back and puts being a leftist and "on the right side of history" lower on her priority list underneath "looking at the big picture and realizing how I am impacting other people."
We need to start talking more about Leftist political cults. Because I think we are looking at a lot more of them than we currently wanna recognize. And I think the video essay sphere of Breadtube is one of em. (I dont know enough about debate bro lefties to know if that has the same problem.)
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lilioopdf · 24 days
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always enough time (cardigan)
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pairing: reader x (childhood best friend! + college!) pepe marti
notes: fluff, a little angst, then fluff again! 3.2k words (oops 😓😓 i should've probably split this up)
warnings: mentions of alcohol
a/n: dedicating this to my lovely mutuals who have been here from the very beginning and even before i started writing 💗💗 idk if this is too sappy but i genuinely love you guys for interacting with my writing posts and my non-racing posts because it really does mean so so much to me and i didn’t know any better way to say thank you
and if you’re reading this, have a lovely lovely day/ahead ahead 💞💞 may people always shower you in love and warm hugs
✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚ ✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊
the first time his eyes meets yours, you’re 4, clinging onto your father’s trousers as he speaks to another man about work related things. it is a business event, after all. he waves at you, a complete stranger then, and he watches as your head tilts a little, eyebrows raising slightly in surprise, before you hide your face behind your father.
he’s six, and yet he still feels his face burn in embarrassment, all because the prettiest girl at the party didn't say hi back.
he sees you again the next day, when you're both having dinner with your fathers at a hidden little restaurant near the beach. your fathers recognise each other almost instantly, and you suddenly find yourself sat next to him as the adults talk about complicated grown up topics over some drinks.
after dinner, he offers you half his cookie under the table, and you give him half of your ice cream in return.
he's too shy to say anything this time, but he lets you play with his toy car the very moment he notices you looking at it curiously.
it's a strange start to your friendship, but it's a sweet one nonetheless.
‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊‧ ₊ ⊹˚✧ ‧˚₊‧ ₊
you grow up together, but at a distance, only seeing each other during summers when you would follow your fathers to overseas work conferences.
he looks out for you for years.
when you're 8, he teaches you how to ride a bike. how to tie your shoelaces so you don't have to stick to velcro shoes forever. how to run faster, how to run without tripping over your own feet. he's gentle with you, and doesn't ever seem to mind your clumsiness.
you're only ever the same height as him once, and that is when you're 11. that year, his hair is almost always a little too overgrown, but he smiles more, and he has more stories to tell. he's at a new school now, one where they can bring their own phones with them. he tells you about the new subjects he's learning; physics, chemistry, english lit, and history. he has more friends now, and he shows you pictures of them alongside their text messages about online games you don't quite get.
when you're 13, he seems so different from the boy you knew last year. he's significantly taller than you now, and his voice cracks a less frequently than it used to, but he still blushes lightly whenever it happens. you don't mind though. if anything, it makes him even more endearing. pepe tells you about how he joined his school's soccer team this year, but you're sure you would've known even if he didn't tell you. he's so much happier these days, but he seems so grown up too. so much more ahead of you in life, at least.
the year you turn 15, things start to feel a little funny. 2 years feels like too big of a difference between the two of you now, and he just feels like too much of a boy. he towers over you now, and his voice has changed so much that you couldn't recognise it when he called out your name at the airport. you notice how the girls around you seem to look at him a little longer, letting their gaze linger on him for a little too long before they notice you at the side, standing awkwardly and feeling just a little too out of place.
you don't know how to feel about the fact that he's almost always looking at you instead.
now, he's quicker at picking up on your body language. he puts an arm around you and holds you when he can tell that your cramps are too bad, he's quick to offer you his jacket when the wind is just a little too chilly, and he's always carrying around your things for you. "just looking out for you," he says. "don't want you feeling alone when i'm right here."
and then you're 16, and lines start to grow a little blurry. it's a year full of insecurities and unfufilled longing, and most of the summer is spent in your head. it's weird to hang around him like that now. you start to distance yourself from him, but you're pretty sure he doesn't notice anyway. he still brings you around for dinner with him and to hang out, and you accept, but you don't ask him to follow you to places you'd like to visit anymore.
you run into a school friend of his one day, and you're suddenly made aware of just how differently he acts around you. his friend's nice to look at, you think. pepe tells you that's he's a soccer teammate from school. he calls you pretty and asks for your instagram, but pepe says something you don't understand in spanish and his friend just nods, apologises, and leaves, leaving you feeling just a little wounded and put off. you wonder if you did something wrong, but you're too scared to even ask your school friends for advice. they've all passed this silly stage anyway— you're the only one who's never even had a crush, let alone be asked out.
pepe gets his first girlfriend by the end of the year, and you're almost happy for him, except you can't help but feel a little jealous. it's silly though, you think. you're just a lovesick teenage girl pining over an older boy. she's cool and loud and she's always able to visit the same places and parties as him. a perfect match. he sees her more often than he sees you anyway.
your friendship ends on a rocky note the year you turn 17. neither of you follow your fathers the next year. neither of you can. it's pepe's last year with you before going off to university.
that summer, you're on your phone almost the whole time, texting a guy from school who's just asked you out. a hockey player of some sort. he parties and drinks a lot, but he's nice to you, and somewhat interested, you suppose.
when pepe finds out, he lets out a huff of laughter. "you're not seriously considering dating him though, are you? this is just for fun, right?"
you feel yourself still at his words. "what do you mean?"
"he won't be good for you. you're just... not like that. that lifestyle wouldn't suit you," he replies nonchalantly.
your blood burns just underneath the surface of your skin in anger and annoyance.
"who are you to say what lifestyle suits me? maybe this is what i want. i've grown up, you know."
you're more hurt than angry, although you're not quite sure why. your tone is indignant and fierce, and you watch as his expression turns neutral and unreadable and his eyes flicker from you, to your phone, and back at you again.
when he realises that you're being serious, his face contorts into an ugly expression, one of anger and almost a little bit of hurt.
"fine, suit yourself then."
then he walks out the room, and hot tears start running down your face.
and that is that. he still says goodbye to you at the airport, but the both of you don't hug this time.
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you try not to think about him for the next two years.
you drown yourself in your schoolwork, tackling assignment after assignment, exam after exam, anything to prevent yourself from indulging in any thoughts of him.
when a childhood friend brings him up one day, asking why you don't meet him during summer anymore, you pretend that he was just a phase. just a blip in your life; minor and insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
time goes by, and you continue to study hard, because you want to study humanities and the arts in university but still have the grades to prove that you could've done stem if you wanted to (like pepe, although you'd never admit to thinking that).
and then in a blink of an eye, you've graduated, and your months long break comes around as you wait for uni results to come back out.
its been a full two years now, but you'd be lying if you said you'd forgotten about him completely.
how could you?
you thought about him during mugging season in school, and during university applications, and sometimes (maybe especially so) during interschool games for soccer, imagining what it would be like if he was here, playing for your school team. (you also wonder what it'd be like to wear his jersey and cheer him on loudly and proudly in front of the whole schoot, but that's not something you're ever going to admit.)
you spend your summer soothing yourself to sleep by reminding yourself that pepe's been gone for two years now, and you're still doing fine. that you have done fine without him, and that you can and will continue to do so.
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imagine your horror when you realise you've been posted the same university as pepe. same campus too.
your father is ecstatic. he immediately wants to call up pepe's dad and tell him the news but you beg him not to, tears in your eyes. you can't risk looking like a hopeless and dependent little puppy even before the school term has started.
before the first day of uni, you've already studied the campus map well enough to plan routes that avoid going near the school of engineering, just so you can avoid pepe. you're almost 100% confident that you'll be able to hide from him for his remaining two years in uni. plus, you definitely look different from the way you did two years ago, so you technically have an extra layer of protection.
except you have an orientation camp the very first week of uni, and you're just that lucky enough to have a familiar face as one of your orientation group leaders.
he recognises you instantly. how could he not?
you half expect him to ignore you, or at least, pretend not to know you. but to your surprise, he smiles. in fact, he beams at you, and he waves before jogging over to sit next to you. your mouth is slightly agape, and you can't tell if this is some kind of cruel joke that he's playing on you right now.
"how have you been? you're lucky to be here today. the weather isn't usually this nice, and i know you get chilly easily." he's still smiling while speaking to you, and he's just acting so... normal, but you?
you feel like smacking him. you left each other on a sour note two years ago, after being friends for more than a decade, and he chooses to talk about the weather, of all things.
but you just put on a smile and act the same.
arguing with a best friend is one thing, having to make small talk about mundane, boring, topics with a friend you've known for years and then forgotten is another. you can't figure out if talking to him is helping heal your heart or slowly shattering it into more tiny little pieces.
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the first few weeks of uni fly by, and you don't end up using any of your pre-planned routes.
in fact, you end up meeting pepe almost every day before you your lessons. for breakfast, or brunch, or lunch... and maybe even dinner, once both your classes are done.
you can’t read him that well, and you wonder if this is only weird for you. but you’re not one to complain. you’re not one to take this for granted either.
you’ve spent years of your life missing summer and pepe, and then you spent two more years missing him without even speaking to him at all. no, you’re definitely not taking this for granted.
you learn that he's playing soccer for a kids charity event that happens yearly, that he's studying mechanical engineering (which doesn't surprise you at all, not really), and that he's broken up with his girlfriend, because of different goals in life or something. you stop yourself from thinking too hard about whether or not the both of you have compatible life goals upon hearing the last part.
he’s still sweet to you.
maybe even more so now that he can actually look out for you. he always gives you his jacket when you’re cold, offers to help you run your errands on busy days, and he even helps you get special oppourtunities thanks to his friends and connections. and when you’re sick, he gives you updates for classwork even though he’s not in the same classes as you, bringing you heat packs and checking up on you daily with warm teas and essential balms.
it's all so lovely that you could almost cry.
except he’s always just a little too stiff around you. too hesitant to touch, too close for distance.
he'll bring you heat packs on your period, and allow you to lean on his stronger frame when the cramps get too bad, but he never gets close enough to cuddle. and when either of you stay over for too long while studying together, he always offers to sleep on the floor or on the couch, but he never allows himself to lie in the same bed as you.
it's all so polite but so frustrating, and you're even more upset because you have absolutely no right to feel that way. he's your best friend, and he has been for years. he's not someone you could ever have the priviledge of dating, and he deserves a friend he can count on, not someone who's helplessly unable to stop their one-sided longing for him.
and so you let another six months slip away as you spend more time with pepe in your head than physically, while he continues keeping a distance from you, leaving you wondering why.
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suddenly it's feburary, and pepe's been so busy with schoolwork and training for the upcoming charity match that you just don't see him that much anymore. you're pulled back into that aching feeling of loneliness, and busying yourself with your own schoolwork and friends doesn't seem to help.
i can't risk doing badly this semester, he says. this is the one that counts. i’ll have to find myself a good internship for portfolio— maybe with formula one, he says. you nod. you’d be proud of him regardless of what he did anyway.
you end up following him to the gym in the early hours of the morning just to hang out with him, even if hanging out now means you just watch him get through his workout routine while you sit next to him and sort out your schedule.
his friends refer to you as pepe's girlfriend now, and you stopped correcting them when you realised that pepe didn't seem to care. you can't blame them anyway, you're together almost all the time. you're always waiting for him at his apartment after classes, usually in an oversized t-shirt or hoodie of his, and he even wakes up early just to bring you breakfast before class.
the domesticity of it all makes you ache, but you can't even bring yourself to imagine what if would be like if your relationship was actually as desired.
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pepe visits you the night before the charity match.
he brings you a jersey. his jersey, and he shyly asks if you'd be interested in showing up to watch him the next day. you almost scream with joy, but you control yourself, accepting it gracefully and holding the jersey gently and close to your chest.
you whisper a string of thank yous, careful not to wake your roommate up, and all pepe does is pull you in for a hug. he buries his face into the crook of your neck, arms wrapped tightly around your shoulders and all you can do is press yourself closer to him, taking in the scent of clean laundry and his cologne.
before he leaves, he flashes you a teasing smile, a somewhat knowing look on his face as he asks, "am i going to have to say it, or will you?"
you're caught off guard by his comment, and you just tilt your head in confusion, unsure what he's talking about. but he doesn't explain further. he just chuckles, gently shakes your shoulder, and leaves.
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you show up to pepe's match half an hour before it starts, just so you can get a good view of the match. the venue is already half full, and you're just grateful to have gotten front row seats.
you act as casual as you can, pretending that your heart isn't racing while you're wearing his soft jersey, with the number 23 boldly printed onto the back. when your friend teases you about the way your cheeks seem to be permenantly pink, you gently slap her arm and tell her to be quiet in a weak attempt to save your face, which only results in a laughing fit from her.
the match is mostly a blur, but both teams are very evenly matched, and there's suddenly only 4 minutes left to the end of the game and both teams are stuck in a tie.
you're not sure when your focus zoned in on pepe. it could've been since the very start of the match, but you somehow catch that split second when the ball is passed over to him, and his expression changes from one of neutrality to determination. you watch as he expertly drabbles the ball between player to player, rushing to get close enough to the goalpost to shoot before the end of the match.
you're sure that everyone in the venue held their breath at the exact same moment you did, and that time must've stilled when pepe slid and kicked the ball into the goal, just 30s before the end of the match.
the whole venue erupts into cheers. it's defeaning, but all you can think of is how proud you are of him in this moment.
you don't take your eyes off him for even a second, and when the referee finally signals the end of the match, he looks at you too.
he’s all sweaty, hair plastered to his forehead, face flushed.
he's sipping from his bottle, standing directly in front of you, having run straight to you after the match.
your boy.
there's a wicked grin on his face, and you can feel the heat rise up to your face as you take in all of him in awe.
everyone’s staring, you think, but you know he doesn’t care, so why should you?
you barely allow yourself time to hesitate, but he's quicker.
he kisses you.
his mouth is warm and soft, and yet there's a certain pressure and intensity with which he kisses you that makes you think that he probably wanted this as much as you did, maybe more.
and when you both finally break apart for air, you realise that all the cheering is now directed at the both of you, and you can't help but start laughing shyly. he smiles at that, and presses a quick kiss to your temple before rushing off for a debrief, with promises to talk later.
you don't even care that your time together has been cut short, because all you can think about now is how grateful you are that you won't have to return him this jersey.
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© lilioopdf 2024 – please do not plagarise, repost, or translate any of my work on this or other platforms
thank you for reading this far!! stay hydrated and safe always!! 💗💗
taglist: @oscnorris/@httpiastri (the one and only person on my taglist 💕💕 also i realised i forgot to ask you which account you wanted me to tag so i’m just doing 2/3 :p)
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seduzist · 10 months
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that love, the crazy kind.
guinevere beck x fem! reader
cw: mentions of sexual harassment, stalking, obsession, murder, blood, smut (just a little), reader is kinda joe in this??? idk but they’re both crazy
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beck was just different, different from anything you knew, she was the type of person that enchanted since the first time you saw her, looking for some book at the store you worked at. and since this day, you couldn’t stop thinking about her, stalking her anywhere, watch carefully every step she made.
didn’t take more than 10minutes for you to find out she liked girls, it was all over her social media, likes and shares here and there, it was like she was looking almost desperately for a girlfriend. and it has to be you, you were the one.
and of course, after some months of preparation, you showed beck that undeniable truth, she fall for you easily and just like you thought she was the perfect girlfriend. she was understanding and gentle, she was funny, sexy, lovingly, respectful, smart, and all of the things you’ve ever dreamed of.
everything was just how it should be. guinevere beck was just perfect.
until, that night.
one of her terrible friends invited you both to a stupid bar with stupid people and a stupid guy couldn’t stop looking at you. at first, she maintained her calm and silence, she wasn’t the jealous type, not at all.
she didn’t even lose it when he tried to hit you, asking you if he could buy a drink and giving a little drunk smirk that made she wants to take it off his face.
but when you denied the offer politely, telling him you weren’t interested, he tried to touch you, not your arm, or your hand, he tried to grab you by the waist and give you a kiss. of course you pushed him and told him to “get the fuck off”. he did.
beck was so perfect after this, she driven you home, told you to shower, helped you sleep with a nice mug of tea. she made you feel safe and sound like always, but that wasn’t enough, she had to actually keep you safe.
when you slept, she thought about the whole plan, she could stay with you all night, or she could go back to that stupid bar and make that idiot pay for trying to mess with was hers, and the second option looked way better.
so she got back, it was late at night, she waited in the totally empty and dark parking lot. the establishment wasn’t exactly the type that have cams on it, and by this angle she had the perfect view of who enters or leaves.
two hours passed, but beck was still wide awake, then she saw him, staggering pathetically, so drunk that at every step he didn’t fall could be considered a record.
she gets out of the car, approaching him, faking a smile.
“hi!” she said, getting his attention. “want to see something?”
[…]
when beck got back home, her clothes were drained in semi dry blood and she still had shiverings all over her, she did everything right? she got rid of the murder weapon, she disappeared the body, she made sure to drive back home in the way where there’s no cameras.
when beck took her dirty clothes off and went to a good and long shower, she made sure to take a good look at your sleeping figure, to remind her why she did all of this, it was worth it.
but if she truly trusted you and knew about your past, maybe if she had told you about what she did, you would have the opportunity to tell beck that a corpse floats on water after a few days of death, and that amounts of blood can’t go away in laundry, it must be burned.
when she did wake you up, through, it wasn’t to talk, it wasn’t even purposefully, she was just making noises and shaking the bed, when you looked at your side, you saw her, all naked with a pillow between her thighs.
“beck?” you called and she immediately stopped.
“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to wake you up, baby.” her voice sounded genuinely sorry, but deep inside you knew she wanted you to wake up.
“it’s okay, keep going.” you whispered back, already sitting on the edge of the bed taking off your pajamas.
you couldn’t take your eyes off of her, her perfect body looked so good while pleasuring herself, you felt eager to touch her, but still undressed yourself slowly as she looked at you, like the sight alone made her even hornier.
when you finished, you get on top of her, taking the pillow off of her hands and kissing her instead, it’s like both of you were starving for each other, you didn’t know what made beck so eager but she certainly was.
you passed one leg through her waist, putting both of your centers together, it felt so good and warm, you couldn’t help but moan against her lips, starting in slow movements against her.
but when you looked down at her, you saw it, a little stain of dry blood just above her chest, you stopped immediately.
“what’s this?” you touched her skin, showing her exactly where it was the stain, she stuttered a few times but after some minutes she told you about everything. she thought you would be mad, or scared, she thought you would leave her, but you didn’t.
that night, you both made love more ferociously and lovingly than ever, for hours until your bodies couldn’t move anymore, that was the night when you and beck recognized you were equal, that isn’t a reason to hide each other’s feelings or personalities. that was the night where you felt like you belonged with someone, for the very first time.
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dykesynthezoid · 2 months
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I say this with 100% awareness that sometimes fandom likes to run with things based off of minimal subtext but I rlly truly don’t get. The majority of the arguments for why we wouldn’t get devil’s minion in the past? Lmao
Like the one (1) reason I can actually see us not getting it is just there not being enough screentime to go around. That’s not unthinkable to me at all; there’s a lot to potentially cover next season. But like, I literally can’t think of any other good reason for them to not do it.
And I think it’s worth saying that I wouldn’t be doing this kind of theorizing with any other show. It’s specifically bc this show likes to drop easter eggs and clues, likes to sew in little details, and also is not afraid of going all out, that I feel like I can take the things I pick up on seriously. Cause yeah, if this were another show, it might genuinely mean nothing, bc a lot of other shows just aren’t written with that enthusiasm or attention to detail or courage to Go Places.
And I also think it should be noted that like. While the show is certainly plenty different from the book(s), their modus operandi when it comes to adaptation is much more to add than to take away. They added old Daniel, added Loumand still being together, added a shit ton of extra small bits to Claudia’s arc. Their method of adaptation is not one of subtraction. They’re not taking away whole character beats and plot events. They’re adding, adding new situations, new settings, new contexts.
And that “adding” extends to character relationships as well. They built that danlou best friends/sexual tension out of the almost-nothing in the source material. Armand and Santiago (apparently) slept together. They’re not taking away interesting side dynamics that existed in the books, they’re literally adding more.
Like why wouldn’t they add past devils minion?? It only makes Armand and Daniel’s present relationship that much more complicated and insane, which is the exact thing this show loves to do.
Not to mention DM is only one chapter, by which I mean; if the argument against past devils minion is just screentime, like I personally think it is, we should also remember that. It’s only one chapter. It’s not that much additional material. And about a fourth of it is Daniel’s turning and the lead up to that, which we know would instead be in the modern day, not in flashback; and another several pages are Armand keeping Daniel trapped in a cellar, which 2x05 has already done. So like. It’s not that much material they’d have to cover to do past devils minion. Like, half an episode altogether at most, frankly, and they could easily spread that all out as they pleased. And this is after season 2 spent an entire episode just on the events during and immediately post 1973 interview. Which they did not have to do. It was a choice to add that material.
Idk sometimes ppl act like it’s soooo crazy for people to be theorizing DM happened in the past and I’m like I literally don’t think it is? And trust me I get that sometimes people get shipping goggles on, and it’s annoying when people make everything about a ship, etc, (but also that’s literally just how fandom is in general? idk what you expect), but. Idk man it doesn’t seem that wild to me in comparison to some of the places the show has been willing to go? And meanwhile like half of you keep insisting Raglan James is Marius. Some of you even thought Sam might be Santino. Theorizing about past DM does not seem that weird to me. Like I am literally just watching the show and Noticing Details and coming up with a possible outcome. It’s whatever
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yamujiburo · 1 year
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POKEMON SERIES RANKED (IMO)
I get this question a lot and haven't made an updated list with Journeys
Original Series (S1-S5)
Sun & Moon (S20-S22)
Chronicles (S0)
Diamond and Pearl (S10-S13)
Advanced (S6-S9)
Journeys (S23-S25)
Black & White (S14-S16)
XY (S17-S19)
Original Series (S1-S5)
OS had that first season charm. Very unpolished, still finding its footing but super enjoyable for those reasons
Probably the strongest series comedy-wise
That GORGEOUS 90s anime style
Main character dynamics were REALLY strong
Ash's personality felt much more like a shitty little 10 year old which was entertaining
Dub writing was also the best hands down
Sun & Moon (S20-S22)
Honestly tied for first with OS for me
REALLY fun ensemble cast! They do a fantastic job giving each character enough time for you to get to know and care about
Excellent modern anime style that perfectly fit the vibe of the season and allowed for some of the best character animation of the show's run
Finally figured out how to write Ash like a 10 year old again (but in a kind/sweet 10 year old way as opposed to OS)
Very different from previous series in terms of the formula they'd follow. Doing a school series instead of another "8 badges to championship" plot felt new and fresh!
This series genuinely made me cry the most (MEMORIES IN THE MIST!!!!! LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING ME)
Chronicles (S0)
Fun concept! It was really nice to see more of the side characters without Ash there. We get to see more of Misty, Tracey, Daisy, Brock, Ritchie, Oak, Delia, Butch, Cassidy, Jessie, James and Meowth!
Stylistically really nice. Just solid drawings all around and it retained the 90s anime style in digital form more successfully than other digitally done series imo
BUTCH AND CASSIDY!!! Team Rocket centric episodes!!! Training Daze!!!!!!!
Idk how possible it would have been (seems like a TON of work) but it made me want one of these in between each season, where we'd follow the characters that Ash had just said goodbye to for the next region.
Diamond and Pearl (S10-S13)
Series I grew up with! Honestly I was kinda a hater as a kid but having watched it back, I love the series
Love that Ash and Dawn were bros. They had a really fun dynamic.
Debatably peak Team Rocket. They had some of the best Team Rocket centric episodes this series.
Contests were really fun and a bit more figured out compared to the Advanced series
Fun, memorable rivals for Ash (Paul and Barry) as well as Dawn (Zoey, Kenny and Jessilina sometimes)
This is unfortunately where I stopped caring about Ash as much. He feels kinda watered down for the next couple series.
Advanced (S6-S9)
Pretty tied up with DP for me
Really fun series! Still had some of that early Pokémon charm
I appreciated that they put Ash in more of a mentor role for May (but he still had a lot to learn himself).
Ash and May constantly butting heads was really fun
May was a very compelling character to me, being very clumsy, kinda lazy, directionless, not really into Pokémon, etc. But then over time, she comes around and finds something she's interested in!
Journeys (S23-S25)
I love the episodic take as well as the way they let the characters jump around from region to region at random
Goh was a GREAT travel companion to Ash. They contrast each other nicely, have moments where they get on each others' nerves but still get along and have a mutual admiration for one another.
It was fun that they made Goh's thing catching every Pokémon (the motto of the entire series) so they could focus on Ash just training and prepping for Worlds.
Amaaaazing style. Took the great parts of classic Pokémon, roundness of SM and blended em together for a really fun look.
Black & White (S14-S16)
I don't think it's that controversial to have BW this low haha
I did enjoy Iris and Cilan but it felt like the writers didn't reaaally know what to do with them? Also this was their first time in a while not having Brock and it shows. I feel like Brock was successful because he was grounded and lower energy compared to the rest of the kids. Having 3 pretty eccentric characters is kind of a lot. No hate to the characters in the slightest, there was just not as much balance.
I think maybe they leaned on Cilan and Iris for more comedic relief because they killed the comedic relief that was Team Rocket this series. I appreciate them trying something new with Jessie, James and Meowth but I don't think it worked very well lol
XY (S17-S19)
I've ranted about this series a lot LOL. I get the appeal of it, but it just wasn't for me. I felt like it was the weakest comedy-wise and took itself a bit too seriously for my taste
My main gripe is that Serena, Clemont and Bonnie all like,,, worship Ash. By doing so, Ash begins to feel like a side character because we're constantly looking at Ash through their eyes. There's so little conflict within the group so their dynamics feel really flat. I think this dynamic could have worked if they leaned waaay more into Ash being a mentor and maybe feeling the pressure of having to be a role model for the people around him.
Team Rocket very much feels like an afterthought in this series. They did in Journeys as well, but at least in Journeys they were doing something silly and also had a handful of episodes dedicated to em.
Outside of that, the episodes weren't super memorable for me
I think it's just frustrating because there was sooooo much potential character-wise
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midwesternvibes · 5 months
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Alright people, it's time for more Villain Leo lore!!!
Today we are diving into Leo and Splinter's relationship!!!
Read under the cut because this got so LONG, these two have so many issues and there was so much to work with.
Alright, so it's no secret that Leo and Splinter have a....less than ideal relationship. You can see throughout all of TMNT history that Leo looks up to Splinter an insane amount, and Rise Leo is no different.
This boy looked up to Lou Jitsu his whole life, and we can often see him doing the same movements and catchphrases that Lou did. Granted, all the boys do, but Leo seems particularly attached to Lou
And we've all seen the smile comparisons, it's insane how similar his grandiose smile is to Lou Jistu's.
The point is, Leo really looks up to his dad, and we can see this in his actions and attitudes towards not only Lou Jitsu, but also Splinter in canon.
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"Trust me pops!"
I mean, just look at how happy he is to be there with his dad, in his element. This episode is Leo at his peak, outsmarting everyone and predicting his family's moments to the letter.
Also, idk about you, but that smile seems incredibly genuine. That's not even a Lou Jitsu smile, that's a 100% Hamato Leonardo smile at his dad whom he looks up to so much.
And what does Splinter say to his son's ask for trust?
"I knew I should have brought Purple!"
....what.
That is his SON. His 14, maybe 15 year old son, who is asking for his father to trust him.
....and he responds by saying that he wishes he had brought his more intelligent twin brother instead, who he has already shown an implied favoritism towards in the past
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"And I thought Purple was the funny one!"
"Told you guys I was the funniest."
This is a pretty harmless comment tbh, but Leo takes so much pride in his quips, one-liners and puns that this had to sting a little bit.
There's such a huge amount of content to sift through when it comes to these two, and that fact actually saddens me because I had SO MUCH to pick from when making this post, but here's some highlights.
One thing that I noticed while watching a Splinter and Leo compilation is that during the memory episode, Leo is the only one Splinter directly hits
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NONE of the other three were directly hit like this is any point in the episode and yeah, this could totally be played off as a bit or just a case of wrong place, wrong time, but we'll get to my theory later, right now I'm just laying out the facts.
An important detail I'd like to point out here too is Leo's face after the first hit.
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Guys, he looks HURT. Donnie and Raph are looking at him, checking that he's okay, but he is looking right past them at the shadow Splinter, who is dressed and looks just like his childhood idol, who just hit him specifically right in the face.
Not only his idol even. No, the most pure and unfiltered representation of his father, the man who's raised him his whole life.
And he just got hit in the face.
Ouch. For a kid as emotive as Leo (who I honestly think feels his emotions even more intensely than Mikey when he lets them out), this is a devastating blow. Literally.
Then, let's talk about this scene, you all knew it was coming.
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"Can someone tell my son I am NOT TALKING TO HIM!!"
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"You got this pops! I love you!"
Guys this scene hurts my heart. Like, once again, he can't be older than 15 at this point. Yeah he's being a badass stratigiser this whole episode, but you cannot convince me that he wasn't at least a little excited to see his dad, his HERO in action, and wearing a matching outfit as well, and show his dad, his idol and hero, exactly what he's capable of. Leo absolutely worships the ground Splinter walks on and what does his father have to say to his son"s encouragement??
"NO!"
GAHHHH like yes, Leo was kinda being a little shit this whole episode and could have clued his dad in on the plan a little bit, but honestly that could have ruined everything if Splinter had any holdbacks.
Not to mention, this is the only Leo and Splinter episode we get. Donnie gets the derby, Mikey gets the Hidden City bonding, even Raph gets the ending of the memory episode, and in each, they have a genuine moment of bonding with Splinter.
Splinter never ONCE apologized for his actions in this episode. Not once. RAPH is the one who tells Leo in this episode later on that he trusts Leo, something he's been begging Splinter for the entire time.
All of a sudden, this moment doesn't seem so out of place.....
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"I love you soooo much!" "No, no you don't, I'm your least favorite!!"
This line could totally just be a throwaway line, but as it was pointed out to me by the wonderful @nardos-primetime, the alarms that the boys did for Google home have a REALLY upsetting one for Leo
youtube
Go to about 1:57 and listen to that one and just......cry.
NOW that line in "Rat Flu" makes a LOT more sense. Splinter LAUGHED at Leo when he asked if he was his favorite. LAUGHED at him.
But wait, you may ask. What about the ending? Splinter made Leo the leader, obviously he trusts him!
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....yeah, just take a look at their faces here.
Donnie and Mikey are basically horrified beyond belief and in complete shock
Raph is.....blue screening, honestly
And Leo looks completely taken aback and shocked and scared and honestly, I don't blame him. There is absolutely NO precedence for Splinter to do this. He has proved time and time again that he does NOT trust Leo, he never ONCE tells Leo that he trusts him even though he asks for that trust during the entirety of "Unhappy Returns". NONE of them look happy about this new change.
You could see this as Splinter finally giving Leo a chance, but I see this a lot more as one of the more popular Fandom interpretations of Splinter wanting to give Raph a break. Raph had a huge breakdown during the finale and I don't think it's unreasonable for Splinter to have heard of that and decide that his beloved eldest needed a chance to recover.
Who better to pass this burden on to than his least favorite son!
We also see in the movie that this shift in power dynamics really doesn't do much other than create a lot of interpersonal conflict between Leo and Raph, something Splinter does absolutely nothing to help out with, other than telling them to quiet down.
Now that we have all of our evidence (and I put more work into getting evidence for this than for the English project I'm supposed to be doing right now can I just cite this as a source for me being capable of gathering evidence???) we can actually get into the analysis of how this all would affect him.
First of all, I mentioned that I would discuss the repercussions of the memory episode. This analysis is more for Splinter, but I feel like it's still important. We've seen time and time again that Leo is very similar to how Splinter was as a young teen in both looks and attitude. If Splinter truly resents his younger self and how he acted, it would make a lot of sense for him to also subconsciously resent his son who acts a lot like himself at that age. This would cause him to lash out at Leo in his subconscious, the one place where his true thoughts and feelings are on full display.
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I just wanna point out his face again here, Leo looks so hurt. He definitely already knows that he's not anywhere near Splinter's favorites at this point, but it still hurts him to see that get confirmed.
This brings me to my next point of Leo's psyche. He is a very confident, witty, smart teenager, but he's still just that. A teenager. He's anxious, insecure, and very self-reliant. He looks to others for praise often and rarely receives it, usually having to hype himself up. His relationship with Splinter only emphasizes these qualities about him and makes Leo look so much worse in Splinter's eyes because his son is just a modern-day representation of his past self.
Now let's put this into perspective of Leo's decent into villainy.
If Leo is hurting and under the impression that his brothers are maybe starting to dislike him, even hate him, adding Splinter on to this can only make it worse.
Maybe he goes to his dad for tips on how to lead when he feels like he can't talk to Raph anymore and needs his father's advice.
Maybe he sets up a dinner for him and Splinter to just chat and bond instead of sitting at the dinner table with another one of Mikey's meals that he feels too sick with anxiety from his little brother's disappointed looks to eat.
Maybe he goes to his father crying from another nightmare after not feeling welcomed in Donnie's lab anymore after they fought for an hour the day before.
And maybe, just maybe, Splinter waves him off every time.
Forgets.
Laughs at him.
I mean, this is a kid who relys on others to build him up, to praise him and love him because after all....
Who is he without his family?
Maybe it's time to find out.
First // Previous // Next
Link to an AMAZING ficlet by the FANTASTIC @beetleviolet
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shesnake · 3 months
Note
I wanted to know your thoughts on this but do you think it's fair to say either Louis or Armand are abusive in their relationship? Idek if this is a valid angle to view the characters from because I guess they're all monsters or whatever but a part of me thinks that it's kinda lukewarm to refuse to engage with the complicated themes of the show, which abuse is featured heavily and pretty clearly imo. This isn't aimed at you btw. Something I noticed is people tend to use some of Louis's less favorable moments to justify the violence he experiences. Like that post about Armand just matching Louis energy in ep 5, most of the notes are taking the stance that Louis is a cold, unempathic pimp who doesn't care about sa victims, that Armand genuinely is completely right when he says he is always cleaning up after Louis that he was only worried and tenderhearted and Louis escalated in the worst way and that after Louis said that he deserved everything that happened after. And I may be biased but to me that is so fucking crazy. To me it seems like fans, specially nonblack fans, have zero empathy for black abuse victims, actively enacting abuse culture even. But idk if that is a too reactive view. I don't want to say Louis isn't flawed because he is. But I mean we are watching the season about Armand getting Claudia killed on purpose and somehow people are still like Maybe Armand didn't do it, maybe it was all Louis, maybe Louis really asked for it. All of it. I think there's a problem there but idk I kinda feel a little crazy too. Btw disclaimer I fuckin hate Lestat this is not about comparing Loumand/Loustat lol
hi! and wow there is so much to discuss here...
I think it is fair to describe the actions of both Louis and Armand towards each other as abusive by definition but it's always important to remember that it is Armand in the position of greater power over him. Armand is older, stronger, owns dominion. He can walk in the sun, manipulate memories, and live without constant debilitating hunger for blood - all of which are things that impede Louis from being his own person outside of Armand.
Louis also faced this same predicament when he was with Lestat, but unlike Armand who uses his own innate powers against Louis, Lestat mostly used his social advantages of whiteness, wealth etc in addition to withholding key knowledge about vampirism to keep himself in control and Louis dependent on him.
and sure Louis can lash out all he wants! He can mock Armand's sexual trauma (trauma which Armand himself already gets them both to fetishise... but that's a whole different conversation...) he can hit back when Lestat hits him but when he's with either of those guys he is always going to be the victim. Nothing shitty he does to his partners, or to Claudia, or to Daniel, justifies what is being done to him by these men.
There absolutely has to be anti-blackness involved in any argument that says Louis deserves any of this. (Of course Armand as a brown South Asian man is not immune from fandom racism but his treatment is racialised in a different way that is also a different conversation). Any negative behaviour from a Black man is going to be seen by racists as exponentially more aggressive than it is, especially the cross-section with those you mentioned who aren't engaging with the complicated themes of this show exploring abuse.
They can see that Louis yelling at Armand is bad, but don't notice that Armand is being manipulative. They can see that Louis stabbing Lestat that one time during sex is bad (and still sexualise it), but don't notice that Louis is disassociating in every sex scene he has with Lestat afterwards (because they're too busy sexualising it). They can see that Louis making Daniel upset is bad, but don't notice that Daniel has been leveling dozens of racist and homophobic micro-aggressions at him since episode 1.
Armand got a few minutes to tell his tragic backstory in Louvre, Lestat had 2 or 3 different scenes in season 1 to recall his own. It's just been words. Meanwhile racists erase Louis' experiences with trauma because they never had enough fucking empathy for him to begin with to even register it happening to him! on screen! in real time! right in front of us!
And yeah Louis and Armand and Loumand are incredibly complex and compelling, and I do enjoy seeing Louis' moments of cruelty towards Armand! But he's never going to win against him in the game Armand built for him.
And in terms of Claudia, I do think that Louis failed her, as he has always failed her. And is responsible for her death in that regard. But that failure involved letting those other two fucking sharks eat her!!! I personally haven't seen anyone pushing the blame completely off Armand and onto Louis but I wouldn't be surprised. This week I've more pissed off about people levelling it all on Armand and think of Lestat as an unwilling participant.... this is of course the blonde white vampire show....
anyways sorry this is so long! thanks for the message this was really interesting to think about.
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evelynpr · 24 days
Note
bakugou for the character ask game?
Truly the teenage boy, shonen deuteragonist, love interest coded, gay asshole, of all time.
My first impression - Woah I did not understand why people were so into this guy. Like I get it, he's a flawed and loud pretty boy, he gets character development, and probably gay, but seriously him??? His mouth is so fucking foul and he is so up his ass. - I was meh with this character, enjoyed him in fan content, but just did not get why people were sooo into this guy.
My impression now - I cried in "Light Fades To Rain". Twice. - My god his growth...his will, his persistence, and by god his love for Izuku is so ridiculous and powerful I just cannot help but admire the little shithead. - He is also a lot more to me than I expected, with the whole "foul mouth shit", "high expectations bullshit", "violent urges", and "dedicating your whole life and love to someone you love and admire" and that...that makes me feel quite conflicted.
Favorite thing about that character - The thing about Bakugou is that...you just cannot help but wish you had the same kind of persistence, strength, will, and power that he does. I love how all this is initially so shallow and selfish, then grows to wanting to be a better and truer hero. He really learns and changes and is just an unstoppable force of nature, it's genuinely incredible and beautiful to watch.
Least favorite thing - I wished that the overall writing did go harder in making him stop bad-mouthing people and...everything so much. You can tell he did grow to respect and care for people around him more, but by gods he is sooo bad at communicating his feelings right now. (tbf, he is so fucking young and traumatized) - Also, really please stop hitting people. I get a knee-jerk reaction to that kind of physical violence sometimes ngl.
Favorite line/scene - There are so many. I already mentioned his death in "Light Fades to Rain" so I'll mention a different one - Team Bakugou in Class A vs B was so goddamn good, for being a monumental milestone of his character. How much he trusted his teammates and put himself in danger to save others, winning in the end. No injuries, no failures, truly a perfect beautiful victory. How he also pushes Deku to keep getting better afterwards in his usual constipated-ass language too. Man I just love that battle to death.
Favorite interaction that character has with another - (me pulling out scenes that aren't bkdk centered here hahaha) - I fucking LOVED the Bakugou vs Ochako fight. It made me love Ochako so so much as a kid. I really wished we had a follow-up to that battle, and it genuinely changed my life. - I love how it really shows just how focused and rational he is in battle. How he truly respects his opponents, Ochako in this case, and the sports festival really establishes so much about him.
A character that I wish that character would interact with more - Speaking of which...OCHAKO VS BAKUGO 2 COME ONNNN - There is SO MUCH these two need to talk about. How to save people, who they want to save, who saved them, never underestimating each other, how they changed and grew. I just love these two characters to bits, that's why I need them to FIGHT AND TALK SO BADDDD - Additional: Also Toga (see my post on Toga right before this one lmao), Shoto (because I still don't really get their friendship but its hilarious, and I love Shoto)
Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character - I legit cannot think of anything here...like for Toga...I am so sorry my brain is blanking T__T - It's hard to be a massive anger-issue filled, victory-focused, die for their lover (twice), amazing chef, all at once, kinda guy...you know?
A headcanon about that character - I am a believer in trans!fem Bakugo in the future. He's so ridiculously angry for some reason, voice always cracking, and just on-edge for some reason. Idk I just think its hilarious and satisfying if he transed his gender in the future and became happier and more comfortable.
A song that reminds of that character - I also have a Bkdk playlist in the making! Here's some bkg focused songs in character development order: - Boys will be Bugs, President Perfect, Top of my School, Oh No!, I'm Gonna Win, The Last of the Real Ones, Skyfall, Die For You, Set Fire to the Rain
An unpopular opinion about that character - Like Toga, he actually isn't possessive. I think he quite well understands and accepts that Izuku is a very loving person that many people are easily drawn to (I mean, he'd be a hypocrite if he didn't understand that). - He is protective instead of possessive. He keeps an eye out for anything and anyone who could possibly actually hurt Izuku, but he doesn't hold him back at all in hanging around with others, and when other people fall for Izuku either. - He is actually quite skinny, and doesn't have the big thick buff guy build. Those go to Izuku and Iida more imo.
Favorite picture - I never really thought of this much??? I love art of him being softer, more solemn, quiet and contemplative even. I guess I'll go pick out some favs right now...
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Here they are! Hope you enjoy the post lmao
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factual-fantasy · 3 months
Text
30 Asks! Thank you!! :)) 🦒
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I have developed a few backstory ideas for almost all the characters, I could talk a bit about those at least! :000
First, Home. (Wally's house) Home is supposed to be a living entity with unknown intentions.. so far I haven't planned out any major ways that it interacts with anyone. Other than it watching Wally sleep at night.. the feeling is so intense and disturbing that he constantly wakes up feeling anxious..
Speaking of Wally, he's supposed to be this genuinely innocent friend of the neighborhood and he has no idea that his house is alive. Wally thinks that he just has some kind of sleeping and anxiety issues which is why he keeps waking up at night feeling afraid and uncomfortable. That's also why I always draw him with bags under his eyes and my explanation for why he talks the way he does. <XDD The poor guy cant get a good night sleep! Sometimes when his "anxiety" gets really bad he'll go crash at Barnaby's house for a night or two. For some reason he feels a lot safer there..
Speaking of Barnaby, I haven't thought too much about his backstory. But I like the idea that he's a lot like sans. XDD By that I mean he's a goofy guy but there's a lot more too his character and he's a lot more intelligent than people think he is. Barnaby is actually very aware of what's going on around him. He's the first to know when one of his neighbors isn't doing well and the first to figure out what's bothering them. Even if he's not close friends with them.
Also tacking on a last minute note on Barnaby- I like think Barnaby has lived in the neighborhood for a very long time. If not the longest. He was there to see Howdy open shop and saw Julie, Sally and Frank all move in. He was the first neighbor everyone became acquainted with and he always made everyone feel right at home. Barnaby is so friend shaped 🥺💞💞
Next is Julie. I haven't done the best job at showing it when I draw her.. but Julie is intended to kiiind'a be an amalgamation of all the neighbors. What I mean by this, is her and her sisters are naturally these huge horrible looking beasts that live in the woods. But Julie was able to slowly transform herself and modify her appearance to look more.. friendly! So that she could become a resident of the neighborhood and not scare anyone away <XDD
How she did this is she just studied the neighbors from the bushes and modeled her appearance after them. Long eye lashes like Poppy, Different colored nose like Howdy,, and since she never saw anyone else bare foot.. Little feet paws like Barnaby <XDD She kind'a kicks herself for that one. Turns out the people she was trying to mimic the most, Wally and Eddie, don't have paws for feet- But that's alright. No one really questions it!
Now Eddie is the usual interpretation I think. He was originally a real human but now he's a neighbor with no memory of who he once was.. he doesn't really remember his childhood or where he came from. He's also just generally forgetful. 😅 The only thing he consistently does right is get everyone's mail delivered right on time!
I have ideas of him having hallucinations, strange dreams or even fainting spells when he encounters something significant from his past life. I considered one of the triggers for his spells could be imagery of an orange cat. Maybe he had one as a pet in his original life? If he ever encountered one and then fainted.. he might just start telling the neighbors that he's allergic to cats.. <XD idk, I haven't fully thought that all through yet XDD
Sally is the last I'll comment on. Her story keeps changing up but I have solid ideas for her biology.
I want her to be an actual celestial being of some kind. I imagined her being a glowing star child that is always warm to the touch. She can control/dim her light pretty significantly but she can never fully go dark. So she's hard to sleep near during sleep overs <XDD
Speaking of sleep overs, I actually imagined that she doesn't need to sleep! Perhaps its like the gems from Steven Universe. She can sleep if she wants to but she doesn't need to by any means. She gets all her energy from what she eats! I also pictured her wearing what ever she wants year round! She absolutely thrives in the sunlight and her body is much stronger than the cold around her. So she can wear shorts in the winter and sweaters in the summer all she wants! Lucky gal.. <XDD
I have some ideas for the other neighbors, but this is already a wall of text. Maybe next time <XDD
Perhaps I should go back sometime and draw these guys again :00 At least get around to redesigning Sally and Julie, it could be fun! :}}
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XDDD AAAA IDK!! Its been a while since I've thought about him! XDD
Hmm let me think... well, He's a loyal and devoted servant of the king and his family. Almost to the extent you'd wonder if he's been brainwashed or cursed..
I've haven't thought too much about his backstory or how he came to be in the position of power that he's in.. But I do have some ideas floating around for how me may interact with some of the Koopalings. :00
The main idea I had in mind was Morton coming to him and voicing and insecurity of some kind, putting himself down in the process. perhaps he said it absentmindedly.. but Commander was quick to defend him, bowing at his feet "Who dared to speak to my Lord in this way? With your command, I shall have their head!" Upon explaining that no, no one said that to him.. he just feels that way.. Commander has a talk with him that boosts his confidence. Not sure what exactly the insecurity could be.. perhaps Mortons appearance? <:0
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(In response to this post)
Aww! I love those names!! :DD Though I don't know if its just me, but I feel like the names should be swapped? <XD Idk- the plup roly poly feels more like a Bernard than a Diego to me. But I totally agree withy them having Tea on Tuesdays! XDD I'm glad you like them! :))
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@silly-creetur
<XDD Sorry you had to scroll so far to find Octonauts- but I'm glad you liked what you saw! :))
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@lolzwaitwhat (Love your username XDD)
They will be forever confused yet grateful. 🥺🥺💞💞💞
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I'm still open for suggestions! And I don't get as many as people seem to think I do.. 😅 also thank you! I'll do my best! <XD
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(Referencing this post)
:DDD THANK YOU!!
As for the canvas size, yeahh, for the pixel stuff the canvas's are absolutely tiny. That first dragon drawing is on like a 300-300 canvas. If I were to post it as is it would be really small if you tried to view it. Soooo I just copy/pasted and blew the image up to like 800/800. Its a lil blurry but that's okay <XDD
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@aria-the-derg
XDD Thank you! Man its been years since I've done an OC trade..
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@thesunbun
XDDD THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! :DDDD
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@clownaroundtowne
Oh wow.. neotony.. that's so interesting! I learned something new today! :00 And yeah! Perhaps it could be! :0000
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*snimfle...* ..am I weewy yow favowite? 🥹💞💞💞 fank you!!
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AAAA THANK YOU SO MCUH!!!! :DDD AND YES IT DID MAKE ME SMILE!! :}}}}
Its cool to hear that you wanna try FireAlpaca! Though I warn you, it can be a but buggy/wonky at times! <XDD It takes some time to learn how to work around its quirks <XD
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I have not heard of it, no.. but upon Googling it, I love the art style! :))
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@astaherussy
Do I like Jax? Personally I think he's pretty funny, but he's hard to like because he's such a jerk. <XD Although I'm not totally set in my opinions on him. I know there's a lot of angst going on behind the scenes that probably helps to explain his behavior.. I'm sure once we see that backstory- if we ever do, I'll like him a lot more :))
My opinion on the FNAF movie is it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be. :00 My favorite parts were the inclusion/intended inclusion of MatPat, Markiplier and other Youtubers. I also FLIPPED OUT when Bonnie was the first to move. Just like the game! And it recreated that initial horror so well XDD Overall I'd say 7/10, WOULD watch it again! :))
My FNAF AU has been shelved hard. 😔 I've been battling health problems for almost a year now. I don't have the strength to comfortably sit at my desktop PC long enough to work on those comics right now.. All these recent posts of mine have been drawn from the couch on this old laptop, where I don't have access to any of my FNAF stuff from my main PC.. its been rough man. 😔
The cookie crew is doing well! I've actually been thinking about drawing them again soon.. 👀
The Factual fam is the same! Doing great, thinking I might draw them again soon! :))
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Awe, thank you!! I've thought about making some kind of merchandise on and off. Since all these medical expenses are really starting to stack up.. so its really encouraging to hear that some folks would be interested! <:}}}
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Oh boy have I. <XDD Ya'll were right, my heart was NOT ready for Appa's episode 🥺💔💔💔 I already have something angsty in mind for that but I'm having trouble with trying to make that comic..
I'm looking for an opportunity where Aang, Appa and the gang are all back together and traveling like usual. Then when they set up camp for the day is where the angst will strike- but it seems like right after they got Appa back the gang split up..
Soo I'm just continuing to watch for now. Perhaps the angst I have in mind will occur later? Or perhaps the perfect gap in time I'm waiting for is only a few episodes away. Who knows <XDD
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@socherryblossomstrawberry
XDD Noooo!! Why do that??
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XDD THANK YOU!! I'm glad you think so! :))
I haven't drawn much for it yet because Its a little challenging for me to draw fanart the way I want to for series that have a linear story.. if that makes any sense-
Shows like SpongeBob or series likeeee.... Welcome home? Things where its more of "a day in the life of" type deal. I can draw fanart and funny scenarios for those a lot easier. Where as with Avatar I'm still kind'a waiting for the perfect gap in the story where I can draw goofy group shenanigans without thinking "Oh wait they'd be dealing with this plot point during this comic..." does that make sense?? <XDD
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@coolguyoninternet
:0... huh?
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🫠Not really- but I'm hoping this is all over soon <:)
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@dummdummdummy
<XDD I'm afraid I am unfamiliar with those names- the osc fandom..?
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@mimiocto
Fank you 😌
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@olives-in-shadows
I'm hanging in there as best I can 🫠🫠🫠
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When he said "Well, how did I get here?" I felt that 💔
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@anikakitty11
Oh my goodness I love this beautiful puppo 🥺🥺🥺
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@tallchest13-blog (Link to document)
THIS IS SO COOL WHAT???
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@chimerathekid (Image is from this post)
XDDD That's how I like to interpret him at least! XDD
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@invaderdrey
Ah yes! The mystery dungeon games!! :DD Someone told me about those games and the key to getting Grim to mega evolve! The empowerment seed!! :DD
I was gonna make a comic about it, buuuut after sketching it all? It came out to like 4 parts and 80 canvases. With 3-6 drawings per canvas. Soooo I might not get around to finishing that... 😅
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@minnesotamedic186 (In response to this ask post)
😔
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@mason-gaylord
I don't know if my Gengar in game has that trait or not- but it looks like it wouldn't be too much of a bother! :0 Google seems to say that it only has a 30% chance of disabling attacks that hurt the user. So as long as none of Grim's friends decide to fight him it shouldn't effect them XDD
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c4tgvtz · 2 years
Note
How do you think the dorm heads [sorry, idk your character limit is] would react when it came time to send you to your own world? They can be dating or secretly pinning after you, whichever you pick. And thank you for reading =3
🕸 [I shall be web anon, love your writing]
➦Oh oh oh!! This'll be a fun one!! And thank you web anon!! I shall remember you >:))
I planned to write this one properly but it ended up too much for me, so you get a sorta hc list because fucking. Like 7 one shots in the one post is too much//
➳How the housewardens would react to MC going back to their world after pining for months
┍━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━┑
CW: None!
Characters: Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Idia, Malleus
Genre: Mild angst???
Note: Mmm this one’s a little sad
┕━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━┙
➳ 𝙍𝙄𝘿𝘿𝙇𝙀 𝙍𝙊𝙎𝙀𝙃𝙀𝘼𝙍𝙏𝙎
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You were… going home?
Riddle would look at you, confused when you first told him. As far as he was concerned, Night Raven College was your home now… but it seemed you didn’t feel the same.
When you tell him, you would be able to see his whole body grow tense, and his eyebrows furrow slightly. He’d look away, trying to process what was just said to him. After taking a breath, he’d look back and put on a smile. “That’s wonderful (MC), I’m glad you’ve finally found a way to return home.”
You could tell that something was off though. Riddle had been… watching you for some time, and though you probably wouldn’t notice, he had found himself falling for you, and those feelings were starting to get more and more intense… he planned to finally ask you out at the weekend but… now?…
You were going to a whole different world, quite literally a universe where riddle didn’t exist, and that terrified the housewarden! But it pushed his courage back down. He couldn’t ask you out now.
The entire time he’s with you he’d be trying to draw out conversation, in a pitiful attempt to spend more time by your side. He’d make you tea, he’d offer to go out for the day to hang out for one last time but… well you were leaving tomorrow. And there was no time for frolicking about in the rose maze or just having a last wander around the campus.
You would be gone.
The emptiness that the thought gave riddle would be one that he was saddled with for likely the rest of his life… at least he’d never forget you…
He’d make sure to personally accompany you to the mirror that led you home, and right before you go through, he’d pull you close in his arms in a desperate, tight hug. All he can muster up to say is: “I’ll miss you (MC)… please… never forget us… never forget me….”
And like that… you were gone.
➳ 𝙇𝙀𝙊𝙉𝘼 𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙎𝘾𝙃𝙊𝙇𝘼𝙍
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Tch… good riddance.
When you tell Leona, he’d just spend a moment looking at you. He looks judgemental, as if finding you weird for leaving or something, but that’s just kinda his resting face.
Instead, he’s actually just trying to process what the fuck you just said to him. What, you were going back to ramshackle? Nah, you wouldn’t be this excited. So did you mean, back to where you came from… before NRC? The more he thought about it, the more he remembered. Oh yeah. That’s right…. You’re from a different world. Is that where you were going?
At first Leona didn’t really have much of a reaction, other than a shrug, but the more you started to talk about it, and the more excited you seemed… his tail started to flick behind him, a hint of a snarl pulled at his upper lip ever so slightly, and his little ears bent back.
It was a feeling he had felt before, yet when he felt it with you it made his blood boil. Jealousy. Jealousy for anyone who would try and take you from him in this other world.
…okay yeah. He had sort of developed a bit of a thing for you, it was no big deal. Or at least, it wasn’t until now. His heart genuinely ached in a way that he had never felt before, and for the first time, Leona Kingschollar felt… vulnerable but of course he couldn’t show that, so he simply shrugged it off.
“It’ll be good to see the back of ya.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes, though it… felt wrong to say. But he couldn’t muster up the confidence for any sort of apology or retraction of his statement. And seeing the way your face fell a little made him want to tear you apart for taking what he said seriously. But there was no telling with Leona.
He made no attempt to force you to stay, but… in his mind, it was all he could think about. He hated sappy romance and all that bullshit, but there was a part of him that didn’t want you to be his partner, but his mate. And that’s how he knew that he liked you. It wasn’t superficial, it was instinctual and raw…
…he actually wanted you.
There would be a ceremony held for you leaving, and the entire time you’d be able to see and feel those harsh green eyes staring at you from the back of the crowd. It would make you uneasy the whole time, but you’d get on with it anyway.
When you get through, you’d realise that your bag felt heavier than it did when you left, and in it, when you open it, you’d find a glass bottle of sand with a letter attached.
It was from Leona…
The letter would talk about how he couldn’t bring himself to actually say goodbye and that he’ll miss you….. Ruggie wrote it for him after listening to him rant…
At least he does actually care…
➳ 𝘼𝙕𝙐𝙇 𝘼𝙎𝙃𝙀𝙉𝙂𝙍𝙊𝙏𝙏𝙊
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You… you can’t leave!
Upon hearing the news, Azul would visibly panic, and immediately start trying to convince you out of it before… realising that his own emotions were slipping through. He’d correct himself, fixing his jacket and clearing his throat. “…Apologies.” Hed hum solemnly. “I wish you the best.” His voice was weirdly empty.
It would be easy to tell that he’s upset. When Azul’s in love, he has very little control over what his mind does, and that’s why he gets so distressed by it, it throws a massive wrench in the gears of his mind and messes with everything, but… he couldn’t just stop it.
Standing with you, alone in the Octavinelle lounge, you’d see him look away as he tries to discern his feelings, figuring out what he should show and what he shouldn’t, but it was too late. You had already seen how he freaked out at just the notion of you leaving, so you put your hand on his shoulder as an attempt to comfort him, and at first he flinches, not expecting the contact, but quickly relaxes and just looks at you.
There’s no way he could tell you. Not now. Not ever… it was his secret and it’ll remain that way. Or at least, he thought so. He seemed to have absolutely no idea that it was incredibly obvious he was head over heels for you. Everyone could see it. You could see it. But no one had the heart to tell Azul that his massive crush on the prefect was painfully clear.
Feeling bad for him, you’d take up his offer to spend the day with him, in which he tries his best to “subtly” convince you to stay. Usually, Azul was a master of persuasion, and just being suave in general. But now that desperation was starting to seep into the housewarden’s actions, he didn’t seem as good at it as he should be. Even he was noticing…
In spending the day with him, he’d give you a proper tour of Octavinelle (as if you don’t already know it inside out), play a few games of chess, and have a meal together at the lounge before the night began to roll in. He was running out of time to convince you, but was also… slowly coming to terms with the fact that he wouldn’t see you again. It stung, yeah… but things change, and after his overblot, he was starting to accept that more.
His goodbye would be where he breaks, hugging you to see you off, but you’d find that he wouldn’t let go, and after just a moment… he began to cry. “Please… I need to… I…” his words would barely be choked out behind his sobs, before he peels himself back and with his whole body trembling, he’d confess. “I need to tell you… that.. t-that… I… I love you, (MC)…”
Putting a hand up to cup his cheek, you smile, and he looks back at you, terrified, so scared that you’ll make fun of him or berate him for feeling such a way, but rather, you lean in and gently kiss him on the forehead. He stops crying and just. Stares at you as you tell him you love him too, and then leave… for the last time…
His love was returned, yet his lover would never return themselves… so that was it huh?…
➳ 𝙆𝘼𝙇𝙄𝙈 𝘼𝙇-𝘼𝙎𝙄𝙈
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T-take me with you!!
Out of everyone, Kalim would be the most emotionally distraught of them all. When you first tell him, he’d gasp and take your hands in his own, practically jumping off the ground. “You’re going home!?” He would sound more excited than you actually were to return. “That’s great (MC)!! You’ve been trying for so long I’m so glad you can finally see all your family and friends again!” For most people, talk like that would appear insincere or sarcastic, but Kalim was just very vocal with his thoughts.
He’d spend the day with you, asking about what your home was like and learning about you with a bright smile the whole time. Though the whole time, something would feel… off, as if he was missing something, but you had explained that you were returning to your own world, so… maybe he was just happy for you?
“I can’t wait to come with you some time!! You need to come back and visit!” He’d chirp while eating lunch with you. And that’s when it hit you. He didn’t realise it was a one-way, one-off trip… it would take a lot to tell him, but after a moment of silence, you’d pipe up and manage to say.
You’d watch as his face slowly falls as you speak, to confusion. “What?” It sounded so genuine, like he didn’t understand why you couldn’t return. “But… is… is it not like a mirror?… like all the other portals?…” his loud, piercing voice began to grow quiet as his expression melted from confusion to sadness. You shake your head.
He seriously takes a moment after that, and it seems like this is the most he’d ever thought about anything between the whole duration of your stay here. And the entire time he was just silent. It even attracted a few gazes from others in the cafeteria.
“So I… won’t see you again?” His voice was empty and shaky, and it seemed like a light had left his eyes as he looked back up to you, his food now completely forgotten. You shake your head again, and as if that were a cue, Kalim’s eyes began to tear up and his bottom lip quivered.
“You… can’t go…” Usually, when Kalim cried, it was loud and snotty and a nightmare to deal with… but this? This was different, his voice was quiet, a wavering whisper, and his body seemed to shake with fear. He put a hand out on the table, palm facing up. Understanding, you’d put your hand in his and try to give a reassuring smile, but he’d just grab your hand a shakily lower his head.
Every movement looked like it was laboured, as he slowly sat up and raised your hand to his face gingerly, and kissed the back of your hand. He’d look into your eyes, desperation in his own. “Please… I want to go with you… but I can’t leave my own family and friends…” and you’d nod, understanding the predicament. You didn’t particularly want to go either, with how close you had gotten with everyone here.
When the next day rolled around and you had to finally say goodbye, kalim would run up to you, crying far harder than he had been before, and you’d just hold him and rest your head on his shoulder as he cries and cries. When he eventually does calm down, you let go and turn to leave, but he says one more thing before you do:
“Hey! (MC)! Tell people in your world about us! A-and I love you!”
➳ 𝙑𝙄𝙇 𝙎𝙃𝙊𝙀𝙉𝙃𝙀𝙄𝙏
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Oh… I had forgotten about that…
Vil would seem… thoughtful, about the whole situation when you tell him. At first it would seem like he doesn’t believe you at all, but then you’d explain exactly how Crowley managed to find you a way home and he’d feel his heart sink.
So he was loosing you?… he’d just stare off into the distance for a minute before sighing and smiling. “That’s wonderful… though it’s a shame that twisted wonderland will be loosing such a beauty…” he’d raise his hand to brush across your cheek, and though that smile would remain on his face, the pain behind his lilac eyes would be easy to spot.
He’d leave you for the day to get your things ready, though while you’re gone, things would be starting to go to shit in Pomefiore.
Vil would end up stressed and upset, causing him to make rash decisions and lash out at his dorm members, leading Rook to take over in running the dorm while a few of the other juniors helped to calm the housewarden down. After about an hour of that chaos, Vil decided that— if he’s never going to see you again, you’d absolutely need something to remember him by.
Immediately, he’d start to try to put together a gift, a way of showing his love at the last minute and hoping that it would last. In the back of his mind, he wondered if it would make you regret leaving, and make everything harder for you, but it was a thought that he shook off. He couldn’t bring himself to dwell on that too much.
Going through his stuff, he’d manage to find a few things he wanted to give you: a beautiful ornate necklace, one with golden charms going down it and a small fake vial of purple liquid as the main charm, a full bottle of his favourite perfume, and a book. It was a book he had memorised inside an out, though it was very dear to him. It was a book of poison recipes.
His only hope was that all of this was enough of a goodbye for you… he put it all in a box, wrapping it neatly and sticking a red bow on the top corner. It looked beautiful, as was customary for a gift from Vil Shoenheit.
He’d spend a while wondering to himself if he should just give it to you and wish you well, or also tell you his feelings. After deliberating that for a while, he decided on a compromise. A love letter would do nicely… So with that in mind, he spent the rest of the night writing out his feelings to you the best he could.
Truth be told, he had always been intrigued by you, but it was only now that you were leaving did he realise just how much he… liked you. Like didn’t quite cut it… no he loved you… and that scared him honestly, which was why he had never even really processed that he did until now, when you were slipping from his reach. He knew there was no way to convince you to stay or to go with you… so this would be his last grand gesture to you.
The day had came. It was pretty late now, and you had spent the whole day saying goodbye to everyone, but Vil was last, and instead of finding him, it was him that came to you, with a beautifully wrapped box in his hands, and a small envelope on top. “Don’t open it all until you’re home safe.” He’d sigh, an odd, unfamiliar affection in his voice. “This is the last time I’ll get to see you…” he sounded regretful as he spoke, leaning in to plant a kiss against your cheek. “But I promise you, it won’t be the last I think of you.”
“I just know you’ll make your world far more beautiful when you’re back…”
➳ 𝙄𝘿𝙄𝘼 𝙎𝙃𝙍𝙊𝙐𝘿
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If you’re looking for a reaction, you’re not getting one…
“Y-you really think I’m gonna fall for that?”
The first words Idia said after you told him you were leaving were… jarring. You look at him, confused and a little hurt, but he seems more defensive than anything else. “Look I know you’re j-just trying to embarrass me! Or get me to act all sappy towards you! It’s not happening.” He’d cross his arms and turn away.
Hurt, that one of your good friends wouldn’t believe you on some of the biggest news of your life, you’d leave. But Idia wasn’t trying to be mean, or defensive… he just didn’t want to believe it.
After being with you for so long he had quickly grown to love you. You were the only person other than other that was able to put up with him. You were sweet and kind and pretty and the perfect partner for him… but he didn’t deserve you, you were far too good for him in his mind.
Looking in the mirror, he’d sigh. But that’s when news would get to him… other people were talking about you going home… what? Idia couldn’t believe it. It was real?… you weren’t lying?… now he felt even worse. His stomach turned and his heart dropped straight down into it, and all he could do was just sit on his bed and stare at the wall.
Is this what everything had came to? He had tried to make the right choices! He was sure that he was on the path to the good ending! All the signs were there, and it even seemed like you were starting to show interest in him!…
…no you weren’t. He was being delusional. At least that’s what he told himself. Why would someone like you ever fall for him? He was a complete shut in, an asshole, ignorant, and now? Now he had personally hurt you. What was he worth anyway.
Lying on his bed, he pulled his legs up to his chest, tears pricking his eyes and the ends of his hair flicking red. Of course this wasn’t the good ending, he was a total screw up. This was the worst ending possible, it was so bad that… he had forgotten it was one he could get… you were leaving forever… game over I guess…
The rest of his day would be spent alone, crying in his bed. He’d sent Ortho away to go… do whatever… as long as he wasn’t near him to see his spiral, because things only got worse from there. He couldn’t even bring himself to eat anything for dinner.
Ortho, though he was concerned, wanted to respect Idia’s wishes, so he stayed out of their room until it was late at night and Idia was asleep. It was a good thing he had no idea that he had cried so hard he had sort of just… passed out…
You were standing at the portal. The next day had came, but Idia hadn’t. You wanted to go and say goodbye to him, but time was running out and the portal would close if you weren’t through fast enough. So… no goodbye…
Idia still hadn’t left his room. He didn’t plan to. What’s the point in forming bonds if they always break…
➳ 𝙈𝘼𝙇𝙇𝙀𝙐𝙎 𝘿𝙍𝘼𝘾𝙊𝙉𝙄𝘼
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Leaving?… so soon?
To Malleus, your departure from the school would come as quite the surprise. Though he himself helped Headmage Crowley to find you a way home, he never expected it to be so soon. It had only been about a year, and in the grand scheme of Malleus’s lifetime? That was nothing. To him, it felt like you had only been here a few days.
You were an odd little child of man. He had never really known where you had came from, nor had anyone else, but what he did know was that he didn’t want you to return. He wanted to study you more, and keep you close. He had grown possessive, though you were just friends.
He had strong feelings towards you, which was why he looked so hurt when you told him you were leaving. He wasn’t the only one upset, but it felt like it to him. He tried to brush it off, after all, you were just some human that would barely live a fraction of his lifespan… yet… it was hard to think of you that way.
He’d put his hand on your shoulder and look at you with a rather harsh expression across his sharp features. “I don’t want you to go.” He’d state plainly, making you shift under his gaze and step back. You’d tell him that you’d like to stay, but you have a life away from here that you’d like to get back to. His expression would stay the same.
Being a dragon in love was complicated. Especially if the person you were in love with wasn’t also a dragon or fae of any kind. If that was the case, they saw you as part of a hoard, something beautiful and precious that only belonged to them, and that they must protect with their life.
You were that person to Malleus.
After a decently confusing and… annoying conversation about how you had to return home, Malleus let up and retuned go Diasomnia to let you do your weird human things. He didn’t really know what you were up to.
As he often did whenever Malleus had any grievances, Lilia seemed to show up out of the blue to talk to the housewarden. He asked him what had happened and he relayed the conversation you had had with him. He seemed to understand what he was going through, and gave him the best advice he could:
“Malleus, many people who you care about are going to walk through your life, it’s your job to make the most of their presence while you can, spend as much time as you can with them before they go. I can promise you, it’ll be worth it.”
So he took that to heart, and at the crack of morning the next day, Malleus was at the door of ramshackle, looking for you.
When you answer he insisted that you spend the day with him before you had to leave, and that you did. He helped to pack up the last of your things and mostly followed you around for the rest of the day until it came to your departure.
“Farewell, (MC). May we meet again in another walk of life… my love…”
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Okay every time I read one of your celtophobia posts I am filled with immediate and incandescent rage, enough to propulse the responsible idiots into space but not to bring them back again. I'm really sorry about the """""lecturer"""""" you had to sit through this morning, and any other instances that happen. Hugs.
That said, I am very worried of doing the same thing and want to make my utmost sure I don't, so I thought it'd be okay to ask someone from a language that has to fight for space for politeness tricks. Apologies if this is not okay!
Context: I'm from continental Europe, which means English is my second language (I speak three languages and a half ish, the half is in process, because #languagenerd). I'm moving to Ireland come September, and I'm absolutely terrified of offending the good Irish people when I don't know how to pronounce their names, surnames, street names, or anything else; or, worse, try and end up butchering them in the manner of the British.
Dilemma: How can I ask for help when pronouncing things in a delicate way? I was thinking of signing up to Irish courses once I'm there, but for now I'm panicking about the actual move so I can't get a head start with that because my brain space is limited, and other than watching YouTube videos with the most common Irish names/words ahead of arriving, I honestly don't know. I want to be culturally sensitive and make sure they feel respected and not Colonised, Part Three Hundred, but also they shouldn't have to bear the weight of my lack of cultural knowledge and Teach Me? Idk. Just thoughts.
Good question! I suppose it's a two-part procedure:
Step 1: Learn a pronunciation guide. By that I just mean get to grips with the alphabet, common phonemes, etc and how those are said. With something like Welsh it's super easy (because phonetic), something like English it's super hard (because not phonetic); Irish is a bit more complex than Welsh, but still more phonetic than English. You might not be able to get to a "perfect every time" place, but you can get yourself to a "right most times" place.
Step 2: If you encounter a name you aren't 100% sure of, offer your best educated guess when asking. This shows that you have done the work, you are making a genuine attempt, but you still have the humility to ask to make sure.
When I say "best educated guess", I mean it's clear that you're guessing based on a working knowledge of the language rules in question. In Welsh, for example, if someone asks me how to pronounce "Cymru", there is a world of difference between someone saying "Sim-roo" (based on English pronunciation rules transposed onto Welsh) and "Kim-ree" (based on Welsh pronunciation rules, they just forgot which pronunciation of 'y' to use for the syllable it's in.) If someone says to me "How do you say that? Sim-roo?" then I know they haven't attempted any prior learning (though points for being interested enough to ask.) But if they say "Am I right in thinking it's Kim-ree?" then I know they've made the effort themselves, they've done the work, they just have a carry error that's skewed the answer.
Plus, you may well be right! And will be right more and more often the longer you're in Ireland.
If it helps, there's an Irish pronunciation guide here that's pretty good (or was back when I used it), and teanglann.ie is a pretty good resource for this, as it's a dictionary that lets you hear the words aloud and explains grammatical uses. (Irish people please feel free to add any other resources to the notes if you feel so inclined!)
As a final note, mind, given that you don't have time atm to dedicate brain space to this, speaking as a Welsh person I would be absolutely fine with someone saying to me "Sorry, I haven't had chance to learn yet, how do I say this?", or some variant thereof. Or, frankly, anything that's just... a polite request, and not laughing about it. I would take a thousand instances of "How do I say that? Sim-roo?" over even one "I don't know how to say that, haha" because the former is still caring enough to ask. So don't panic! A polite request will see you right.
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