#this show is catnip for me and me specifically:

[notasapleasure]

Florence Pugh saying she could hook kippers all day be still my ridiculous bisexual heart

[arodykeism]

all you ever need is to be nice and friendly

[airbusbeluga]

i'm so hesitant to watch the pitt bc sometime in the last couple years i stopped being able to watch medical dramas bc i get too jealous of the med students <- guy who is normal. but my resolve wears down more with every passing day

[fuckyeahisawthat]

I think the key to writing Viktor is remembering that we the audience see far more of him than any character in the show does. Including Jayce. "Emotional and super sensitive but very guarded" is the way Harry Lloyd described it, and I think that sums it up very well. The way you show that in a visual medium is by letting the audience see things that no one else does.

Viktor isn't shy or meek at all, but everything intense about him is so contained. He has an expressive face and big big feelings (like, canonically he comes to the conclusion that his problem is having too many goddamn feelings) but we get to see far more of that than he shows to anyone in his life. Seriously, go back and look at the blocking in his scenes and how often we can see his face when no one else in the scene can. Outwardly he can appear confident, calm, earnest, passionate, wryly funny--at least until he gets too sick to hide his exhaustion and pain. Meanwhile anything that might express a vulnerability, a need, is tucked away where no one can see it.

All those sneaky glances and yearning looks thrown at Jayce? Jayce doesn't see them. Usually there is no one else there either. All his interactions with the Hexcore--the frustration, fear, reckless determination; the apprehension and then triumph of running on the dock? He's alone. Crying over Sky, curled up in a ball on the floor? Alone. Everything in the astral plane--the open curiosity and wonder, the casual physical closeness with Sky's and Vander's astral bodies, the despair after Jayce rejects him? Alone. Astral Sky isn't real; she's a figment made up either by the Hexcore or by his own brain (I think either interpretation works) to make him feel less alone. I 100% believe that no one whose mind he looks into is allowed to look back at him, up until the few moments at the end where he allows Jayce to see him.

When he's angry--and he does get angry--it's a cold, still anger. Contained. He glares and his tone gets sharp but he doesn't so much as raise his voice. He doesn't shout or use big gestures. The one time we see something that might be considered an outburst (when he slams his fist on the desk and scatters his notes in frustration at trying to understand the Hexcore), he is (1) desperate and scared, (2) very clearly angry at himself, and (3) once again, alone.

A bit of a tangent but I think it fits here: this extends to his physicality with his mobility aids too. I realized that the reason "Viktor whacks people with his cane" always bumps me in fics is not just that Viktor isn't casually mean like that--although he's not. It's that when it comes to habitual, everyday movements, he never uses his cane or crutch for anything other than support. He doesn't gesture with it or use it to grab things or stick it out to stop a door from closing. (Which makes the rare instances when he does use it for something other than support really stand out.) It's not like he's hiding it, but he doesn't do anything to draw extra attention to it. He lets it fade into the background as much as possible, for as long as he's able to. Contained. It's a very specific physicality that I think says a lot about how he's trying to be perceived.

And like, to me, lover of wordless longing and isolated/self-isolating characters (which could mean nothing) all this is fucking catnip for fic material, because prose gives you such easy access to a character's interiority, and then you get to watch them hide things from other characters and deny things to themselves. (Love a character being confidently wrong in the privacy of their own head.)

When I'm writing a new pairing I am often trying to figure out, like, what's the tension? The tension on the relationship can be subtle, but if a smut scene is not popping off for me I often find it's because I haven't correctly identified the tension, or I've released it too early. Sometimes the tension is societal or interpersonal, but often (for me) it's internal. The main thing holding the characters back from uncomplicated enjoyment of each other is themselves, their own traumas or fears or insecurities.

I think something clicked for me with Medicinal where I was like, oh, the dynamic I like for them is when their natural state is to stick together like magnets, and they are constantly having to pull themselves back. Viktor doesn't shy away from Jayce's touch or his attention; he craves it and is constantly having to take that firehose of yearning and reel it back in, because he thinks Jayce doesn't feel the same way. Contain it. Yeah man that's the good shit.

P.S. I would be remiss if I didn't include the god tier example of the kind of Viktor POV I'm always striving toward, Uncover Him by spqr.

[mortalscience]

top 5 garvez episodes! (or moments if you'd prefer)

oooh this was actually SO hard to decide. there's so many good moments and episodes.

first off honorable mention:

the Night Lights housewarming party flirting scene, god damnnn, it's just hot the way they're looking at each other, like GET A ROOM.

(5) Collision Course - I talk about this episode so much, I can't help it, they're just so fucking cute in this episode. Luke being charmed by Penelope the whole episode and he helps Penelope down off a curb and calls her hotshot and tells her nobody else is as good as her and he supports her when Spencer gets denied bail. !!!!! We get lots of good Garvez scenes throughout the show but this is one of the consistently Garvez episodes from beginning to end.

(4) Saturday - A classic!! Luke sacrifices his whole day for Penelope just because she asked him to because she wanted to help this rando and Luke is like I will do whatever you ask me to because I love you and acts of service are my love language. So Luke spends his whole Saturday being Penelope's Emotional Support Crimefighter and he fucking loves every minute of it and then he swears his sword to her when he finds out about her stalker. Luke worrying over Penelope is catnip to me ;_; And they manage to get some cute flirting in too even though it's kind of a more serious angle for their story in this episode because it's personal for Penelope.

(3) In the Dark - Luke finds Penelope crying and refuses to walk away when she tells him to and he is like I WILL BE YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM AND THAT IS A THREAT and decides then and there he has to fix whatever is making her cry and it's Spencer being in jail and then he's like okay protecting Spencer in jail is now my whole personality because it will make Penelope feel better and he calls in favors and acts all hot and threatening just to make it happen all the while in the back of his mind he's like THIS IS FOR PENELOPEEE. And then at the end he gives her a present of a squeaky kitty because he's specifically thinking about her when he's away from her and wanted to get her something just to see a smile on her face because she's been so sad and he HATES IT WHEN PENELOPE IS SAD. *takes breath* OH this episode. SO GOOD.

(2) Swimmer's Calculus - This one is so fresh so maybe I'm grading on a curve here but I honestly love the Garvez scene in this soooo much, even when I objectively think about it, it's just SO GOOD. Luke hearing Penelope out about her empathetic streak towards Voit, and supporting her, and through the whole time they're talking they're just touching each other, so casually and intimately and it's CRAZY WORK. LIKE??? Luke just has his hand on Penelope's knee for like their entire conversation ajskldjskflds. It's so small and simple but gesture like that is so crazy intimate. Knees knocking and hands on each other's legs like, damn. It really did something to me and I love it because it also shows just how far their relationship has progressed, how close they are to one another now. My heart's melting talking about it. And of course the heartburn crack and the fact that Luke can't walk away from such a heavy conversation with Penelope without touching her one more time and making her smile so he knows she's good because her emotional wellbeing is like his number one priority. D:

(1) Dead End - Luke is Once Again acting as Penelope's emotional support in this episode (something of a theme going on here) and the main scene between them fucking kills me. Penelope is panicking about Tyler and Rossi maybe both dying and Luke fucking throws his whole self into being there for her. MAYBE IF WE LEAN ON EACH OTHER WE'LL HAVE THE STRENGTH TO GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER. excuse me luke????? *faints and dies* And they are literally physically ONCE AGAIN hanging on to each other through that scene while Luke wipes away her tears and they make that "ME AND YOU" dedication to each other like WHAT THE HELLY. It's WILD. Characters declaring allegiance to each other mind body and soul are just. holy shit. It's definitely my favorite scene between them because it just shows the level of attachment and dedication to each other (especially Luke to Penelope lbr) and it KILLS MEEEEEE.

[rosenkranz-does-things]

I just wanted to say i love your art! You're my favourite x files artist and tbh one of my favourite artists in general.

And specifically for x files your art is not only gorgeous, it also hits exactly the aspect of the visual/cinematography of the show that i really enjoy.

I really love the way you incorporate light and darkness/shadows into your pieces.

I regularly scroll through your blog just to look at the art pieces I've already seen 15 times.

Also seeing your pieces inspires me to try doing art myself.

oh hi, thank you so much!! 🥹 what a sweet message to get first thing in the morning! the x files is like catnip for artists, with its gorgeous cinematography and beautiful actors. have a sketch that I've never posted anywhere (I actually got out of bed to take this picture, and I'm still not really awake, so I can only hope the quality is decent)

[sophie-hatter-jenkins]

Hello <3

I love LOVED evolution and i always checkout your rec list !!

Do you have any recommendations for extremely angsty (rated m or t) hinny?

Just delicious angst- which obviously ends with them together- it could be emotionally unavailable harry, or FWB or anything really.

Lots of love <33

Hi, Anon! 

Thanks so much for the ask, and for saying lovely things about Evolution, I am so glad you enjoyed it!

Sorry for the delay in replying, while I was putting this list together I found myself getting very distracted reminding myself why I love all these fics.

Anyway, let's get on with what you came for, shall we?

Welcome to Sophie’s Hinny Fic Recs: Angsty Edition!

You specifically asked for T or M rated fics, but there are a few here that are rated E. I’ve included them because 1) they’re great, 2) some of the M rated ones are no less explicit and 3) angsty-Hinny really can’t seem to keep it in their pants. Anyway - I’ve marked which is which, feel free to use your discretion on which links you click.

I’ve got a bunch of completed fics for you, and also some great WIPs, if you want to hop on to those with me!

But let’s start with the Completed ones:

Castles - @pebblysand - Canon-compliant Post DH - rated M

God, I find it hard to explain how much I love Castles. It’s just extraordinary - and certainly angsty! Hinny is core, but, there is SO MUCH MORE here. Mind the tags, there is some difficult (though sensitively handled) subject matter here.

The Potters and the Weasleys - @goodlifewrites - Hogwarts magical AU - rated G

Enemies to lovers done really well, which is hard for Hinny, plus extra bonus points for being Jily Lives, basically my catnip.

Knowing Where To Look - @ala-baguette - Canon-compliant Post DH - rated T

Hinny are not the focus here, but they're definitely in angsty mode and it hits just right. Plus it’s a rollocking good mystery, super-atmospheric and a really interesting POV.

If you never bleed you’re never gonna grow - mp143 - Post-Hogwarts canon-divergent - not rated, but I’d say definitely M

I recently rediscovered this fic, and while it’s not the angstiest on this list, there’s plenty of pining and soul-searching on show, plus (magical aspects aside) one of the most true-to-life pregnancy stories I’ve read.

Off-Kilter - @remedialpotions - Canon-compliant Post DH - rated M

Interesting first-person Harry POV, as Hinny struggle to sort themselves out post-battle. You’ll want to go straight on and read the sequel, August, too.

Too Close - Scared Of Clouds - Magical AU - rated T

Bodyguard fic, in which Auror Ginny is assigned to protect an extremely uncooperative and reclusive Harry. 

persist and resist the temptation to ask you - @nuatthebeach - Muggle AU - rated M

Well, you didn’t think I was going to do a rec list without including it, did you?? Seriously, I am on an absolute mission to make more people read this!

such a beautiful blank but smooth it - Pocketfullof, smutty_claus - Groundhog Day/Fairy Tale-inspired magical AU - rated E

Ginny is doomed to try and win Harry’s heart, over and over, in just one day. It’s such an interesting premise, with much angst for poor old Ginny.

In Case Of Emergency - lilyevansJan30 - Magical AU - rated M

Auror Harry and Quidditch Player Ginny find themselves in an exes-with-benefits situation, which is absolutely fine, right up until it isn’t.

And now for the WIPs!

This list would absolutely not be complete without including the undisputed queen of Hinny Angst, the marvellous @takeariskao3, and two absolutely top notch angsty WIPs

Already Gone - takearisk - Amnesia fic - rated M

Ginny wakes up in St. Mungo’s following the battle at the Department of Mysteries … or so she thinks.

The Path From You - takearisk - Magical AU - rated M

Angst-drenched exes are forced together when Auror Harry is assigned to Quidditch Pro Ginny’s case.

Beasts - @whinlatter - Post-DH canon-compliant - rated M

One of my very favourite takes on Ginny, in her final year at Hogwarts after the end of the war.

you don't know what's lost 'til you find it - mp143 - Magical AU - not rated, but I’d say definitely M - features a major character death

Told in two alternating timelines - how Hinny got together in the wake of an unimaginable tragedy, and how they reconnect after years co-parenting their daughter strictly as friends.

Whelve - @seriouslysam8 - Magical AU - rated M

You want angst? I’ll show you angst! An older Hinny deals with the return of their eldest son 11 years after being kidnapped as a young child. Devastatingly awesome.

[mossy-rainfrog]

[ID: Several drawings of Calvin Wright, Tenebrosum, Arthur Lester, and John Doe. There are a few portraits of Calvin and Tenebrosum alone, and a few others of Calvin and Arthur kissing or otherwise intimate together. More detailed ID in ALT.]

FINALLY posting this on a random monday, here are some of my drawings from @croik 's Arkam Horror/Malevolent Crossover series that has made me category 10 unwell for months. I absolutely recommend this series, it's hot, it's got just a Delightful dynamic of jarthur x another possessed traumatized guy and his Personal Horror, it's got a plot so good it could be its own arc of the show, and also, its got The Horrors!!! give it up for the horrors everyone

Genuinely I have been SO obsessed with this series and ESPECIALLY their characters of Calvin and Tenebrosum. Thank you op for writing over 100k for these guys, i need to inject them into my brain. Calvin and Escuridão specifically are like catnip to me i WILL be rereading this many more times

[arciam]

Gotta love some mutual JayVik obsession - although I guess the "mutual" part doesn't really come into play until the end. Speaking of obsession, it's definitely been a while since I've been this catnipped. I don't know what it is about Jayce and Viktor specifically that makes me want to punch a wall (and then make video edits) so much, but at this point I'm just along for the ride. Show: Arcane League of Legends Song: "Power Over Me" by Dermot Kennedy

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 5/27/2025

no lesbian novel this week! didn’t get to read much at work bc i had to do my actual job :( did manage to do some sewing

listening

ive been bumping this since the end of the season tbqh. the way in-universe this has been a chart-topping party song for over a year??? with its own little dance??? how Niamos is the name of a beach planet so this is functionally a Pitbull song where he yells MIAMI!!!! which is all of them???? show of all time. show of all fucking time.

it’s not on streaming platforms but THE IN UNIVERSE ELEVATOR REMIX!!!! FUCK!!! WHAT IF STAR WARS WAS GOOD!!!

-

reading

did not manage to read a lesbian novel. did manage to read half a book ive had in hold since january 2 of this year and i did not like it :(

this is playing in the same space as Canticle for Leibowitz and anything else that treats software programming as a magical mystical art with priests and such. love this space! you can probably name three more off the top of your head!

while it does have a fascinating 1920s level of technology world (aside from the big magical barrier), it really flounders about in the middle. the twist was pretty clearly telegraphed (fine) but after the twist i had zero desire to continue onward. i had no real interest in how or why this huge overarching societal problem could be solved, and think i could have liked it more if it were either novella or short story length. would be perfect as a classic episode of the twilight zone.

it also strikes a little too close to home for me with its depiction of a far-right religious cult running everything and a depressingly accurate depiction of what it’s like to be a woman in hard stem, down to the sexual assault from a person in the same research group. the two-thirds of the book i read was really just real life as a woman postgrad without many scifi elements. the promise of scifi elements were why i picked up the book, bc i was interested in a hard sci take on dark academia. further annoyances: i also did not love the “they’re trying to keep you PLACID and QUIET and WOMANLY!!!” scene with a doctor. there is an additional second-wave feminist stink around the “original” flavor of magic, stolen from the original women of the land. i hesitate to call it terfy. if i met someone with these views in the real world I would certainly ask more questions before scheduling a second hang. yanno?

-

watching

john wick the fourth bc i unexpectedly have peacock access. video game cutscene lookin ass movie (lovingly). the visual style, lighting, and nods to other movies (genuinely gasped out loud at a specific match cut bc the reference made sense within the plot and wasn’t just a fun visual) are all off the chain. slightly longer than i wanted it to be— the last chase/gun battle through paris dragged a bit despite having some of the coolest set pieces.

-

playing

nothing fun to report in genshin this week. still don’t have enough to guarantee the pink fox lady so i think i will bide my time and wait for skirk to drop at some point the next patch (yet another patch with no map update :( curious)

-

making

trying to clean my house or finish some projects whenever i want to leave my house or spend money. has led to a much cleaner house but a much more housebound me. anyway here’s a scrub cap with fabric a friend bought and asked “hey can you make me a scrub cap” When I Moved To Houston Nearly Two Years Ago. plus the lining galaxy fabric, bought at the joanns closest to umass in mmm 2017?

came home from work friday morning to discover catnip strewn about the living room bc da gorls managed to rip holes in BOTH mr cactus kickers. a somewhat slapdash mend but reinforced with fraychek so the next time they bite and tear the fabric Next to the patch will tear

[beentobeetle]

Idk what kind of catnip is in this pairing but I can't stop thinking about tripwire now specifically Butcher/Oscar.the Butcher going to confession and timing it so he always gets Oscar but all he confesses every time is a different iteration of 'Bless me Father I have sinned, there's this hot priest I keep having impure thoughts about' and proceeds to detail the nastiest filthiest smut you could possibly imagine. Oscar has to start wearing cassocks that are loose in the front lol and the other churchgoers wonder why this dude is laughing and being chased out of the church by a red-faced priest

Oh. my god I have never heard such big brained statements ohhhhh my god

At some point Oscar gets sick of it and just bursts into the booth Collins is in and drags him out himself. Everyone is WILDLY confused because this guy that Father Oscar is dragging looks startlingly familiar to that guy that showed up in the papers all those months ago for being Wanted and Father Oscar the Nice Good and Pure Priest looks … quite flustered. hm.

Oscar tosses him out of the church and yells “WE WILL TALK ABOUT THIS LATER DENNIS >:(“ and Butcher is just “Ooohh I’m sure we willl :) can’t wait Fatherrrrr ;)”

ABSOLUTELY AGREE THOUGH THIS IS A CANON INTERACTION IN MY HEAD BUTCHER’S INSANE AND A FREAK AND OSCAR HAS TO DEAL WITH IT HEEHEE

[stardustedknuckles]

I like the second season of fantasy high but it's live and the mics are kind of ass and it feels like they're taking longer to decide what to do like, a lot, in comparison to season one but - they're in leviathan talking to Garthy and I'm just 😭😭 I don't know what Brennan put in them but I am obsessed still and so happy to see more of them after meeting them in Pirates of the Leviathan. And I thought maybe like, since that was my first d20 show back in 2020 I just got caught up in Brennan's brand of earnest kindness and now I'm a bit more used to it but no, it's something specific about Garthy. The competence it takes to run and hold down their business, the fact that they are extremely forthcoming and honest and KIND in a world of pirates and still able to treat with them, still one of them, and not some innocent jewel to be kept safe. They have this strength and command this respect and they use it to brighten the day of every person they come across, whether they work for them or just pass through their establishment, and everything they say they mean with such an honest conviction and just. Ugh.

They're still my favorite npc Brennan has made so far and given how much I love Steel wbn that's saying something. There is just a perfect blend of character design/description and not just the accent but the inflection, the way there's no judgment ("you know there's a powerful fiend trapped in this ruby, right?") and a sense they can handle whatever comes their way, so they have no need to throw weight around or really even stress... Ever. They know they can handle anything and that confidence is all redirected outward to being the best part of everyone's day, all without giving away/compromising a single part of themself or being any kind of bombastic. Everything about them screams gentle, and that's really quite hard to convey right alongside that level of competence and command of their surroundings.

They're catnip to me and I don't really get why. But god I love them. It would be so easy for a person like them in a city of pirates, where death and double crossing are not only normalized but broadly encouraged, to be some paragon of naivete because that's so often hand in hand with things like kindness and treating people with care. But they're just as much a pirate as any of the best of them, just as sharp, just as whetted by all that comes with that, AND all of that life experience is put towards others in a way that truly fulfills them rather than controls or consumes/diminishes them. I know it's probably something to do with being an aasimar but damn. 10/10 character.

[catsaystuff]

I Love Pathologic NPCs so much I'm replaying p2 and writing down different names and random lore

Recently a friend and I made our own pathologic OCS, and I made mine have a connection with one of the kin woman NPCs, which in turn made me interested in all the p2 npcs

I'm only on day 5 of my replay, and i'm aware some of this is probably on the wiki, but here are some random bits of lore and info anyway

NAMES:

Some names of kids that are part of the Soul-and-Halves names: Dandy, Catnip, Ace, Ginger, Snout Smokey and Scout

Some names of the Dogheads: Lika, Chara, Maera

Names of other kids: Siskin, Finch, Uta, Swift, Chickadee, Teensy, Wench, Barb, Pup, Goldfinch, Hatchling, Verochka, Basya

Women's names: Kayura, Aigul, Khetey, Dove, Urmaan, Agnia, Starling

Men's names: Shiner, Piecework, Whistler, Kestrel, Ouzel, Crow, Lefty, Stump, Pochard, Pigeon

Dandy is the kid who trades you sharp things at Notkin's hideout. He also trades the infection maps which he and some others make by scouting the infected districts in hopes it will be useful to Artemy. He specifically sits outside the hideout some days to avoid infecting others inside. He thanks you when you come see a sick Notkin.

Catnip gives you bread and milk on day one if you accept it. You can also go back the next day with a piece of bread to thank her for it. Ginger is another girl waiting outside Rubin's house to notify you about Lika's trial.

Ace is the boy waiting outside of Rubin's house on day 1 whose mission is to notify you about the death of their dogs (Alma, Duke and Wokfling). He can also be found a couple days later on The Cape when you start playing The Kids Game. He tells you not to wake up Nina and also invites you to the Nutshell.

Smokey is the boy who gets surrounded by some Dogheads in one of the stairs to heaven. When you ask him if he needs help he says that he's fine, just admiring the view, and very clearly doesn't want adults to intrude in their business and show up in their places. One of the Dogheads waiting for him to come down is called Chara.

Lika is of course the Doghead you see at the start of the game who gives you a tourniquet but later doesn't show up at the town hall to clear your name. And the Doghead trading a schmowder at the Nutshell is Maera.

Finch is random kid with dialogue, so I'm not sure if it's always him saying this, but he asks Artemy if he saw any trains coming, and later mentions how Uta traded all her buttons for just some sugar, which is outrageous.

You then can find Uta later on! specifically during Capella's piano quest. On the second house you go to Uta is playing the piano, and in her conversation she's just shouting at you to go away and threatens to scream if you get closer. Specifically doesn't say "fuck off" because her mom told her not to but she says a couple of "flick off" and "eff off"

Teensy is a little girl who says she still thinks you're good and nice. And Wench is the little girl playing with the bones and scaring boys away. Basya is a little boy who gets surrounded by other kids because his father is a "bad man" (called Whitebeard), and one of those kids is a girl called Barb.

Hatchling is one of the boys staring at Isidor's infected house, and who says Isidor was helpful when Verochka had shingles last year. I haven't actually found anyone called Verochka around the town

There are some kin women like Kayura, who tells you about the Shabnak and says she doesn't believe people kill other people in this town. There's also Aigul and Khetey, who can be found at Aspity's house.

Other women are Dove, whose children are in the tower and won't come back and doesn't personally believe in Shabnaks. Agnia, who is spending her day outside the Judge's door to check which men come asking if killing at night is legal so she can keep herself safe. And there's also Starling who is particularly worried about the people trying to burn off the plague in the streets.

There's of course Piecework, the man Grief asks you to do surgery on. The reason he got injured is because he and Shiner attacked a woman of the Kin. Piecework managed to kill her and the others fought back. They clearly have no medical knowledge.

Kestrel is one of the men trying to stop the mob justice on day one. Stump is the first person you see playing the piano during capella's quest, he's from the Cannery. Pochard is a kin man who says they've lost faith in Artemy and have decided to fight back. And finally Pigeon is complaining on the street about the Kin revolting with no reason.

AND FOR NOW THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT (kinda) if anyone has more small details like these PLEASE add them. can be from pathologic classic too! There's so many good classic npcs like Willow or the Harpist

[autisticrosewilson]

YESSSSS PLEASE TELL US THE LORE ABOUT TH MUTUAL STALKER AU!!!!!! loved it 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

I want to talk about what's going on with the Omegaverse part because I have so many ideas!!

Bruce is an Omega, which won't be super important I just felt you guys should know. He's often mistaken for an alpha and though he plays up the stereotypically omega traits as Brucie he lets the criminal element believe what they want, most of the Justice League believes he's a beta because he never reacts to pheromones or anything and they've never smelled him without scent blockers.

Dick is an alpha but he's often mistaken for an Omega which he doesn't really mind, he's the Omegaverse equivalent of someone who goes by any pronouns.

Alfred is an Alpha, most people assume he's a beta from the sheer fact it's very odd for an Alpha to be subservient to an omega the way he is but not only does Alfred not believe in that dynamic essentialism shit, he still sees Bruce as a pup most of the time, which has the problematic effect of him more or less letting Bruce do whatever he wants.

Jason will be an omega, but due to malnutrition he's still unpresented. I'm going to write a thing about how him and Grant end up presenting :) but anyway in my au younger pups have this specific sweet milk scent but as they get older their real scent starts to come through and it gets more complex as they get older, along with the specific indicators of their dynamic after they present.

Jason's in that spot where his mature scent is starting to come through but because he hasn't had his heat that pup scent is still lingering. It creates a sort of uncanny valley for the nose to kids his age and adults but it makes him like catnip to pups because pregnant omegas also have that milk scent. This has caused some...less than fortunate rumors to circulate, because much like periods heats are usually delayed by pregnancy.

Kate is an Alpha who only dates other fem Alphas, and she'll be an important figure for Jason as he's navigating things with Grant. See the Todd's were also both Omegas, but Willis pretended to be an alpha at first because it was safer and then so no one was questioning how Jason was conceived. So Jason doesn't have the internalized queer phobia to work through (although he does have a lot of anxiety about his dynamic and what it means for him) but Grant very much does and Jason doesn't know how to navigate that. Kate will be the older queer person he turns to when he doesn't know how to go about things with someone who hasn't necessarily figured himself out yet.

Which brings me to Grant! He's so sure he's going to be an alpha, he never even entertains the thought of anything else. He's also unpresented in the first part, and because he hasn't even spared any thought to the possibility of not being an alpha, naturally he's sure that Robin is an omega. Because he loves Robin, that's the way things should be. Presenting as an omega really throws off his plans but does not make him confront his internal biases. Instead he switches gears to the sure conviction that Robin is an alpha, and he's going to be Grant's alpha.

Slade and Addie are trying very hard to cosplay as a perfect nuclear family. And failing miserably. From the outside it's an idyllic fem omega mother who stays at home with the pups and male alpha father who goes out to work, but the closer you look the more apparent the cracks are.

Adeline is the one with all the money and status, she's the older one in the relationship who had the position of power when they got together, she shows clear favoritism towards Joey based on the sheer fact that she doesn't know how to relate to her kids and Joey just happens to share her interests. She's too battle hardened and lethal to ever fit into the mold of a Proper Omega™️, but she tries because there are expectations that she has to meet to be considered respectable in the surrounding community.

Slade is exactly what you think of when you think of an alpha, masculine, strong, possessive. Jealous, stubborn, invasive. Determined, ruthless, the list goes on. But he's also significantly more emotional, promiscuous, and catty than the Traditional Alpha™️ is supposed to be. Every negative stereotype typically applied to omegas could easily also be applied to him. Flighty, codependent, a gold digger.

Joey and Grant expect to be an omega and an alpha respectively, it's what's expected of them just from how they act, so it throws everyone for a loop when the opposite is true. Presenting doesn't change their personalities though, Joey is still sensitive, soft spoken, and emotionally intelligent. Grant is still obnoxious, abrasive, and arrogant. Joey still wrinkles his nose at sports and can't stand hunting or fishing. Grant still climbs trees and picks fights. So they keep with this theme of the perfect family (two children, one alpha one omega) but neither of them perform their roles "correctly" which ostracizes them a lot, which only gets worse after the divorce. There's a very good reason that Addie tries to keep her kids out of the spotlight, and while most of it is for their safety, some of it is because the Kane's are old money and her father expects his legacy to be upheld and that requires an image to be maintained.

[wawamouse]

Thoughts on Mukada and challenging myself to write fic with him*

(Under the cut bc this reads more as Rambling Opinions and personal vent at times, not interesting show meta or anything)

* I’ve felt an inkling to since I began writing fic for Oz but I’ve never gotten around to it. This post has been partially written in my drafts for ages… and lately, I’ve been reflecting more on what fics I still want to write and which characters I want to explore but haven’t because M/C is just more fun for the time being, so I decided to add onto what I had and post

There is a snippet of an old wip I started a couple months ago which I havent touched since, and it got me thinking more on why I don’t bother with his character despite him being Asian, usually a draw for me as a viewer, being Chinese (altho Mukada himself is presumably Japanese) and not seeing that many Asian characters in western dramas.

Tbh, I think it really comes down to the fact that

a) he’s a priest**

b) main ship with him in the fandom seems to be shipping him with Miguel, which kinda gives me the heebie-jeebies^

c) as a result, I haven’t felt too motivated to explore his character more, either in a character study, or in something shippy.

** = what the fuck would summon a person into priesthood… it boggles the mind. I feel like trying to tackle a backstory for him (exploring his Asian identity, something I’d be interested in doing) would be difficult for this reasons, although I do have some backstory thoughts below.

^ = Therefore, I am hesitant to write anything with them in it because I'm a control freak and I don't want my vision misinterpreted lol, or something lame like that.... I fully understand the logic of shipping Mukada with Alvarez but I personally am ambivalent / mildly repulsed by it because instinctively I feel like reading a sexual or romantic interest between them is a huge disservice to Mukada’s character and grossly corrupts his intentions as a priest. Yes, I’m aware that’s what makes the ship tasty to others, so it’s just a personal squick thing (obviously i find other fucked up scenarios fun and dandy)… and it’s undoubtedly the religious chip on my shoulder as a gay dude, but I fucking hate the closeted homosexual priest trope where the priests affections are for one in his flock. (Me sorta shipping Mukada and Cloutier is basically bc their relationship feels kind of on the same footing. And also because it's funny). Add in the fact that Miguel is like mentally vulnerable when Mukada helps him; I find it tragic and insidious to read that as anything but platonic interest from Mukada. And it’s projection on my part/my specific interpretation for sure because I feel Miguel’s mental issues are relatable to my past, but if a spiritual/guiding figure at that point in my life later turned out to have some kind of non-platonic interest, that would be so violating to me lol. I am also idealistic, I think, about priests/pastors/spiritual leaders in fiction, because all the ones I’ve met IRL fueled a complex or told me my existence was a sin (I wasn’t raised religious, but I went to bible camp as a Thing To Do for several summers in grade school, which gave me unnecessary Issues, mix in getting stuck in a bible study in high school) so when there is like a nice priest or something in a story of fiction, I like to believe that they take their role and everything seriously and are interested with their whole soul in simply helping their parishioners. Maybe that’s juvenile. And I think there’s no platonic explanation w Mukada @ Miguel (not that I’ve seen it, just saying) is such a laughable take because he’s literally a priest, as well as a generally good person who can see the good and hurt in Miguel so why tf wouldn’t he take a special interest in someone who’s trying so hard to be saved but still falling short? 🤨 That’s gotta be like catnip for Mukada both as a person and as a priest (lol)

But this sort of brings me to a point when it comes to writing fic for Mukada/are Mukada centric:

One fic I would like to write, besides an exploration about of his background, which I remain unsure about*^ , would be one that gets more into Mukada reckoning with how he came to the statement of 5x04, telling Miguel they’ve had their ups and downs but yada yada; the show kind of just left the bulk of Mukada trying to help Miguel to s1/2 and a lot of shit happens obviously but I headcanon Mukada still visits Miguel in Solitary to take confession and such during s4—stuff we don’t see that could be interesting to explore in terms of conversations that bring more closure to their earlier chaotic relationship and bring them to that point in s5 where when Miguel (obviously in some shit) asks Mukada for advice, dude doesn’t even get all nosy about it (in a respectful distance type way?). So…. A fic that’s just all conversations and Ray pondering his role and shifting views over the years as prison chaplain. I’m particularly struck by the idea of him realising that in this line of work, at Oz, there will always be a Miguel Alvarez that he encounters and wants to help more than others; should he try in the future not to let every Miguel Alvarez pull him off balance or should he just push up his sleeves and do what he can every time, and as a result, likely burn out of Oz earlier than need be?

*^ = idk if I mentioned it here before but I have some Mukada headcanons, namely that he’s Catholic after his father converted, growing up attending a Catholic institution (headcanon his paternal grandfather was a Shinto practitioner)… he also went to Catholic school and as a kid was well-behaved and a teacher’s pet, the shiny special Token Asian in the school! Impressive in the eyes of the teachers, but also made fun of behind his back by his peers. I think in his teenage years, Mukada would’ve had a period of deciding he preferred secular things and even though when he was younger, he’d announced plans to go to seminary school and being a priest, at this point he starts to have his doubts; he knows he’s smart/ the best in class and it occurs to him via conversation with people he meets outside his circle that he could actually do something else with his life.

A year later, i haven’t cemented my headcanon for how Ray actually ends up in the priesthood because all my imaginations free him of that fate lol (the limits of my own imagination, you could say). But given that he starts out so proud, I lean toward a vibe almost of Ray ultimately pursuing priesthood originally in part because he has a moment where he realises be doesn’t know anything else, which is scary, and he interprets that running back into safe territory as the priesthood calling to him. Something I also think would be interesting to explore is if he realises that down the road—maybe when Sister Pete is doubting? Or, he just sees himself in that moment—but I do think regardless of his original reasons, he does find he thrives as a priest and his work in that role is righteous and fulfilling, which ultimately is what matters.

Anyway, there’s my Mukada word vomit.

[liesmyth]

Further to Keeley saying yes to marrying Roy (definitely agree), how much would Roy only be asking because he thinks that's what you do. Like he's retired, he's forty, and all his former teammates are married/have kids. He's a traditional guy (kind of) - would he have waited for them to have been together for two years (or whatever) and then proposed because that's the next step?

Context: this is a follow-up to this 'unpopular opinion meme' ask where I said that (to me, etc) Keeley would've said yes if Roy ever asked her to marry him post S2.

In general, I just looove to overthink gender roles and performative heterosexuality with these characters, because the mix of sports series + juicy queer dynamics is like catnip to my brain — so thank you for this ask so I can ramble about it some more!

The thing is. I think Roy's actually not very traditional for a footballer (let alone a very famous one) simply because he's close to forty and he's never been married and doesn't have kids. Like, genuinely, that makes him a huge oddity in his set. If I were applying RL football logic to the football show that plays fast and loose with realism, I'd say that there must be a lot of speculation in-universe that Roy is gay. OR maybe he's had so many public short-term flings that there's only a little speculation — but there would still be people thinking it's strange. Just because "WAG and kids" is such a big aspect of how football stars are expected to perform masculinity, and Roy not having any of that (while at the same time performing a very specific brand of 'old school' tough guy masculinity) would make him a weird anomaly.

(When talking to non-sports fans, I usually find it useful to compare pro athletes to active-duty military personnel as two categories that on average start a family very young. It's a mix of a family providing more stability in a hectic career + expectations in those circles because everyone else is doing it + financial reasons that mean is more convenient to do it now than to wait)

(Again. Reflecting on social norms in footballers' circles makes me think a lot about what Keeley's expectations might have been pre-S1, when she kept dating footballers and moving in those same circles, whether the fact that she was with a young guy at 30 bothered her more than she let on, etc etc. This is also part of why I think she absolutely would say yes if Roy proposed — see also her reaction to Shandy saying that all their former flatmates "married footballers", which is just like "yeah, fair enough". I think pre-season 3 she just never saw her life going in a different direction, and was fine with it — at least until S3 made her consider stuff she might not have otherwise)

Anyway SORRY I went off!! Back to Roy — all that ramble was to say that, TO ME, if he wanted to be married, he absolutely would be already, way before the show started. It's something he must have considered earlier in life, just because it's a staple of the Ideal Footballer Career Path, and for whatever reason decided he wasn't keen on it. And it wasn't a one-off earlier — it's something people would have commented on it over and over, as all his teammates started families and he didn't, as the tabloid press speculated on his private life. It's not that he never had the opportunity; it's that he actively chose not to. So I'm not sure retirement would necessarily be the thing that makes him decide that "it's time" to get married. We see that in S2 he really throws himself into ~playing house~ with Keeley because he's trying to find a new life anchor after retirement, but idk if that would necessarily translate, to him, into "next step is getting married." Because, for someone in Roy's position, getting married would have been "the next step" ten years ago, and he was like, nah!

I also think that "when will Roy and Keeley get married" WAS an expectation that was very much present in the eyes of everyone who interacts with them, at least from the moment it became clear that they were serious and basically living together. Tabloid speculation, old friends of Roy who're also retired, friends and acquaintances of Keeley who also move in those 'D-list celebs / influencers / WAG' kind of circles. Their families, even; I have a very elaborate headcanon built off that one (1) throwaway line that Roy wanted to open the champagne when Keeley's mum "moved back north", that maybe Keeley's mother was a bit too happy to see her settled down with an older man for once, and they're living together, and he's very famous and very rich. My other headcanon is that Keeley dropped Shandy / her old friends after she got with Roy partly because there'd have been some wink-wink-nudge from those corners about "landing Roy Kent" (I have WAY too many thoughts about Keeley and Shandy, lol).

...Anyway. This is all to say. I think, between the two of them, Keeley might have been the one who vaguely considered that maybe marriage could be on the horizon as a next step, because she's a woman over 30 in circles where women over 30 get reminded of these things. Roy has the luxury of thinking about it less, because he decided years before the show that he wasn't going to get pressured into an early marriage just because it's The Done Thing.

I can believe Keeley and Roy never discussed marriage all through the year-odd they were dating, but I bet multiple people brought it up to Keeley unprompted, and to Roy also but to a lesser extent, and he was able to shrug it off way more easily. Keeley is probably dodging old friends who text her happy birthday and then are like "how are things going with RoyKent(TM)??" wink. babe you landed the big fish!! etc. etc.

SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG! this is like 80% headcanons that's partly inspired by me being A Sports Fan, partly by me overthinking Keeley's narrative, especially in S1 and S2 when she was still allowed to have neuroses and a meaningful friendship with Rebecca. But I'm ALWAYS thinking about Roy/Keeley not only as a ship but also in the context of the very specific gendered dynamics that exist among top-flight footballers and their partners, especially in the UK. It's just anthropologically fascinating to me, and I think S1 especially does a very good job of hinting at all the various nuances with Keeley's character.