#this was actually kind of therapeutic to write though

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

You're at Hellfire Club with the worst period pains, the pains have been growing steadily worse all day. Eddie notices and does what he can to help you feel better.

Purely self indulgent because I've had bad pains for the last few days and this was highly therapeutic to write 💞💞

Warnings; none, just fluffy, sweet Eddie 🥺 💞

My requests are open 💞

💌🖤

You looked forward to Hellfire every week. Not okay because it was run by your boyfriend Eddie and it was the first Hellfire since all the shit from Spring Break.

In that time you and Eddie had grown really close and began dating, bonded together by being Upside Down survivors (for Eddie it was a close call) and already friends due to your involvement in Hellfire Club.

Now that Hellfire Club was back in session, Steve had generously offered to play host and Eddie excitedly spent a full week planning the campaign.

"I can't wait to show you what I have planned sweetheart" It's nice to see him so hyped up and you were looking forward to the campaign as much as he was.

Unfortunately, the morning of the campaign you woke up with a major headache, the kind of headache that hurt your eyes, bright lights were the devil and made your head pound even more. You groan at the pain in your stomach and ache that grows steadily worse and makes it impossible to go back to sleep.

Shit, you should have realised that your period was due today, for the last few days you had felt nauseated and that slow build-up of pain in your stomach signalled they were coming.

Despite feeling like shit you power through the day, go to work at Family Video, Eddie joins you on your break which coincides with his break at the auto repair shop he has started working in.

He's a godsend because if you had to listen to one more bratty kid or know it all cinephile you're sure your head might explode.

"You okay princess? You're quieter than usual" Eddie asks and you nod, cuddle into his arms and let the smell of cigarettes and cologne - Eddie's scent, calm you down. He soothingly rubs his hand up and down your back, and presses light kisses into your hair.

"Mmm, just tired. Looking forward to tonight though" the concerned look on Eddie's face turns into unbridled excitement as he teases and hints about the new campaign.

If Eddie knew how bad you were feeling then he might actually cancel tonight and you weren't having that. Hellfire had been anticipating this and Eddie was in his element, so you would just grin and bear it.

💌

Everything was set up and ready to go at Steve's, you were feeling worse than you were earlier. The headache from this morning was back with a vengeance and the cramps were in full swing, you ignore them as best as you can as Eddie begins the D&D session.

Just watching him in his element as DM is incredible, he's so talented at storytelling and has all the participants on the edge of their seats. Even Steve who had no interest in the game was hung on Eddie's every word.

This session was a long one and the cheers and shouts around you were making your headache even worse, it was hard to concentrate on the campaign even though you desperately wanted to.

You're so wrapped up in hiding your pain and trying to cling onto what's happening in the adventure that you don't notice Eddie's eyes stray to you on occasion, worry evident in his big brown eyes.

He's not stupid. He knows when something is wrong with his princess, you're not very talkative and have been clingy today, wanting more cuddles than usual (not that Eddie is complaining about that)

It's all telltale signs that you're upset or coming down with something. Eddie is sure he's done nothing to upset you (one tearful look or pout from you was Eddie's weakness) so it must be the latter option.

He's on the edge of ending the campaign early just so he can take you home and help you feel better, his worry helped by the fact that you keep trying to hide the fact that you're in pain. One hand is gripping the table and he sees the flash of agony on your features.

"The merry band of adventurers found themselves in a cave of wonder. But something evil was with them in this cave, ready to strike at the first opportunity" Eddie's voice deepens as he reaches the finale.

"Will the Wise was the first to sense the change in the air but before he could alert the others a screeching sound filled the cave... and that is the end of the campaign this week" Predictably he's met with the cries of the others.

"That's bullshit dude, utter bullshit" Dustin snaps and he shrugs. "More to look forward to next week Henderson" he ruffles Dustin's hair who grumbles under his breath but nods mulishly.

Eddie makes his way over to you and you give him a small smile, "That wasn't the end of the campaign Eddie" you sigh clearly seeing through his ruse.

"My girl is sick, don't think I haven't noticed you trying to pretend you're fine'' you open your mouth to argue but he's having none of it, "Yeah you are princess and I know that's not true. We're going home and you are going to rest" The fight goes out of you and you agree.

"Okay, I still feel bad about the campaign ending early" he waves off your concern. He cut it down by like five minutes tops and he's not having you feeling guilty about it.

"What's got you feeling so bad baby?" he narrowed his eyes trying to figure out if it was a cold or a stomach bug, was it your time of the month already? He counts the days and frowns when you confirm that it is.

"Bad cramps, headache" you mutter sleepily and he groans, he hates seeing you in pain, and knows your periods have been pretty bad for the last few months.

Luckily Eddie has supplies in his trailer for these occasions. sanitary products, a heated pad, painkillers, chocolate and your favourite movie. Everything to help make you feel better. He guides you to his van and vows to make you feel better.

❤️

It isn't even that long later that you're settled up in Eddie's bed with a heat pad on your stomach, he's made sure you took some pain meds and they've began to take effect.

Eddie's arms wrap around you and you nuzzle into his, his hands soothingly rubbing your stomach, between that at the pain meds you're feeling much better.

Just being in Eddie's arms, the cool metal of his rings was lovely and the light way he massaged your stomach was bliss.

He leaves only for a little while to make mac and cheese and even though you're not really hungry you eat it all and share your favourite chocolate with Eddie for afters.

The best thing about the night is when Eddie picks up his guitar and begins to play your favourite song, even though it's not heavy metal he still spent the time learning how to play it for you.

It begins to lull you to sleep and just as you're almost in a slumber Eddie presses gentle kisses to your hair.

"Sleep well my princess"

💞🖤💌

[nebulous-library]

little acts of intimacy: how they like to be touched - tokrev boys

in specifically a not-inherently-sexual manner. what kind of physical contact with you gives them the warm fuzzies? hcs for a selections of my personal tokyo revengers blorbos, including: Mikey, Draken, Baji, Chifuyu, Kazutora, Hakkai, Taiju, Koko, Inupi, Sanzu, Ran, Rindou, and Izana

Mikey feels most at home when he’s cuddled up into your arms, especially if you’re taller than he is. It makes him feel like your teddy bear. 100/10, definite nuzzler. 

Draken likes sitting on the floor by the couch while you have your legs draped over his shoulders, just chilling. Better yet, though, if you start massaging his shoulders or neck, he’ll melt. 

Baji is a sweetie who just wants to hold hands, actually. There is a specific part of his brain that simply demands Hand Holdies. He will feel so loved and special if you hold his hand, especially if you do the interlocked fingers hold instead of the criss-crossed palms way. Also is not opposed to it if you simply rest your hand on his ass. Like, not even in a sexual way, just as a little “hehe, mine >:]” kinda thing.

Chifuyu will fucking melt if you rest your head on him, or put your hand over his heart. Especially the latter, he’ll be so flustered. 

Kazutora likes when you run your fingers through his hair. It makes him feel safe. Like, this is a genuinely therapeutic sensation for him, it’s so gentle and he doesn’t fully understand why his heart swells when you do it, he just wants you to never ever stop.

Hakkai’s favorite way to be touched is when you reach up and put your hands around the back of his neck and stroke his jaw with your thumbs. He’s so shy at the start of your relationship that he can’t always find words, but sometimes all you need is that communication via eye contact. It takes a little time, but that’s the kind of thing that makes his heart flutter – you, holding his face, and looking at him with adoration. 

Taiju’s favorite place to be touched is mid- to lower-back. He carries a lot of tension there and it can be on the sensitive/tender side. He loves it when you’re out together and you sling your arm around him and rest your hand there. When you’re in private, he’ll just flop down on the bed shirtless, staring at you until you take the hint that he wants a massage. Just sit on his ass and work the tension in his lumbar region, he’ll melt for you. Bonus points if you get playful and start writing things with your finger and making him guess. He thinks that shit’s hella cute.

Koko has a few things he likes. Number one is when you pet the buzzed side of his hair and will nuzzle into your hand. Another favorite is when you hold onto his arm when you’re beside him. Just kinda loop your arm through his and hold on. He likes having such full body contact without it being Full Body Contact™️, y’know? Also, adding a little bit of zest to this, he’s 100% a “pull him close by the waistband of his pants” kinda fella. Yes, in a spicy way, but also just in an “enjoying being pressed against you” way.  

Inupi’s favorite thing is when you cup his jaw or rub behind his ear (big puppy vibes, obvi), especially if you’re calling him by his given name. His heart will simply explode. Also like, any time you rest the palm of your hand on his tummy. He just feels relaxed idk. 

Sanzu likes when you sit with him and have your legs across his lap. It’s casual but just intimate enough that he can comfortably squeeze your knee and grin to himself that he’s lucky enough to call you his. But if you wanna be extra forward with him, bite him in front of the others. Hold his hand and just casually bring it up toward your mouth and CHOMP. He knows that means you love him. 

Ran is a surprisingly big cuddler. Whether it’s falling asleep or waking up, he just likes having you in his comfy space — his bed. Non-sexual physical contact is absolutely his jam. Not that he doesn’t love railing you, but man, his natural state is so low-energy. He wants to trap you in his blanket cocoon and just stay like that and watch youtube videos or some shit. Definitely makes a fuss if you break free because the heat is too much, but you will not fully get away from him. He’s one of those “must have some part of himself touching some part of you” dudes. Good luck. Also, bonus: he also enjoys when you braid his hair for him (his arms get tired when he does it himself)

Rindou is also cuddly, but in more of a Mikey kind of way. While Ran is very open with the fact that he wants you to let him hold you, Rin Rin would never be so bold. He’ll pretend that he thinks it’s dumb or some shit, but somehow at the end of the day he’ll always curl up with you. But HE wants to be the one being cuddled. Much more tsuntsun about it than Mikey, who would simply dive into your arms. Treat Rindou like he’s your snuggly little teddy bear. Let him bury his face in your chest while you stroke his hair. Tell him you love him and know that when he responds with a muffled, “......shut up.” that’s simply his way of saying he loves you too. Bonus: if you’re out and about, he’ll lean on you. Like, in the way that tall people do. He won’t mean it to mock your height, he just doesn’t know how to convey that he wants to be touching you when you’re out in public.

Izana honestly probably prefers touching rather than being touched. He likes to have you in his lap, letting him just have his hands roaming all over you. His fingertips will dance along your thighs and up your sides or along your arms. He imagines he’s painting his marks along your skin, in patterns only he can see. He’ll smile to himself and rest his chin on your shoulder. But if you must return the favor, he particularly likes it when you sit beside him and just hold his arm in your lap and mindlessly run your fingers up and down his forearm. 

[whiskersz]

Ok yay someone who writes for husk!

So could you(if you don't wanna that's fine)

Do an x reader for husk where the reader works at the bar with him

I'm so new to the fandom, people don't write for him? Don't worry, I'm here to save the day!

This is kind of a ficlet, I could write a sequel if anyone is interested, left it somewhat open ended.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Actions speak louder

Give a beer glass a scrub, rinse, pass it to Husk so he can dry it up and then repeat; check the counter for stray stains, then wipe it down with a cloth dampened with dish soap and warm water in case there’s any; mix the occasional cocktail, wishing you’d be the one downing it on some days.

This is how most of your time is spent at the Hotel, working behind the counter of the bar with grumpy Husk, filling your days with repetitive tasks you were used to even before ending up in Hell. You’re comfortable here, some might even say it’s your own element.

You remember what it was like during your life, working at the bar, and the only word worthy of describing the experience would be ‘boring’. Chaotic on some particular days, yes, but it was mostly dull as your co-workers were a bit too accustomed to leaving all the hard work to you.

At the Hotel though, you find it almost therapeutic. Not too many residents, and you get along with the few that are there, plus it means no constant drink making nor cleaning; although the personality of your only co-worker is what you find most pleasing about this job.

There’s no use for useless small talk between the two of you, you’ve grown accustomed to each other enough that silence is well accepted during most of the day, and especially at night. It’s not rare for both of you to stay up late, anxiously waiting for the return of one of the other residents of the building, Angel Dust.

There’s no hiding that he struggles a lot, and you and Husk can do nothing but be there for him, unfortunately.

But once even he’s off to bed, you can finally give the bar one last quick clean and close it up together. And so again, give Angel’s glass a scrub, rinse, and then pass it to Husk so he can dry it up and put it away; he takes up the task of checking for stains on the counter and cleaning them up, telling you to hurry up and go to sleep.

You refuse, and say you need to tidy up the glasses one last time, something looks out of order.

It’s not true though, but you can’t simply say you’re waiting for him, surely that would make things between you a little awkward.

Which is why you’re surprised when you feel a light pressure on your back; Husk is shorter than you, shorter than most at the Hotel actually, and there seems to be nobody else around, so the only possible explanation for the pressure you’re feeling in the middle of your back is, well, your co-worker.

Relaxing into his touch you let out a soft sigh;

“Turning into a softie?” you say it mostly to cover up your shyness, glad he’s facing your back so he’s unable to see the tint of your cheeks.

“Shut up.” He retorts, voice low and tired.

The dim lights of the bar are soon after turned off, and a slow, drowsy kiss is shared on the top of the stairs leading to the various rooms of the Hotel. You and Husk depart for the night, both excited to scrub, rinse and repeat with each other tomorrow, though with newfound unanswered questions this time.

[coupleoffanfics]

Ranting about a possible fanfic I'll write.

Anyone reading this hear me out. There are some Yandere Batfam x neglected reader that I love. Basically, the reader is a part of the family and is ignored by everyone until some event happens leading the family slowly becoming yandere. I just love the angst.

Okay, so what if she has a boyfriend before the whole family starts going off the rails? Right, okay, so what if her boyfriend was one of the Valeska twins? Both would just fuck everything up for the family and I'd love it.

Regarding which Valeska y/n would end up with I'd see y/n dating per-spray Jeremiah. Could see him only dating y/n because she is a Wayne. I see him being the more narcissistic one out of the two even though they both are. Slowly developing an obsession with y/n as I could see her being attentive toward anyone who shows her positive attention. And that could feed into Jeremiah's narcissism.

So when y/n opens up or Jeremiah realizes that she doesn't have a strong relationship with Bruce, he'd be more inclined to dump her. He plans to get a wealthy job at Wayne Enterprises and live a luxurious life, unlike his upbringing. So dating the daughter's CEO would give him an advantage, that's at least what he thought.

He'd gently put her down so that he could focus more on other things, but…This underlying obsession made it impossible. Now he's like fuck, I actually like her what do I do now? (y/n is definitely one to say I love you first.)

I couldn't see Jerome and y/n dating just because of her upbringing. She has strong morals having been trained by Batman and formally being Batgirl for a few years. She would have had to meet Jerome before he murders his mother since that leads him down this psychotic path.

Regardless of which Valeska she dated, I'd say that she has some loyalty toward him. Seeing them as more of a victim of circumstances rather than a villain. Though that would be thrown out once Jerome or post-spray Jeremiah start harming or worse killing civilians.

I just love the idea of the when the family is or turning yandere are just like y/n who the fuck is this and why are they trying to kidnap you? Meanwhile, the Valeskas are just screaming and throwing shit that they have to deal with more bullshit to get to y/n.

y/n's Personality

Loyalty would be one of her trades as she'd do almost anything for her loved ones that actually care for her. It doesn't mean she's blindly loyal to anyone who shows her kindness.

Empathy and consideration are strong ones as y/n has a big heart. She'd be understanding why the family is busy and how much work they'd do as they are not being close. But that doesn't mean she's not hurt or frustrated when Bruce blatantly shows favoritism. Yet she doesn't want to be an inconvenience or get in the way of their vigilantism.

Inferiority complex. Being the only family member to quit being a vigilante has taken a bit out of y/n. She is justified in her reason, but that doesn't stop her from feeling less valued. She wants to be seen as valuable, so she doesn't often go to anyone for help. Fearing that it would make her look less valuable to whoever.

Depressed. y/n may smile and laugh, but that doesn't mean she's not dealing with depression. Having trouble getting out of bed and whatnot was one of the factors that made her quit being a vigilante.

People pleaser. Trying to show her value as a person by doing what most say. Or just trying to avoid as much conflict as possible.

Notable Things About y/n

Art is what she uses to express herself. Drawing or writing (totally not self-indulgent) are the primary examples. Won't or couldn't bond with Damian over this because he doesn't like her already and she's too afraid of opening herself up to him.

Baking things with Alfred if he has the time. It's therapeutic and helps combat anxiety. She also loves giving sweets to others seeing them enjoy it and showing that she’s not completely worthless.

Probably in a big sister program to provide support to those younger than her and prevent others from feeling lonely like her. As she isn’t able to help the family as much as she used to. Might even be a soup kitchen volunteer.

Hopes to have a job that’s in the creative field and move far out of Gotham. Will try to get into a college out of Gotham once she’s done with high school.

Either has a few or just one friend. Often spending the night at their place, so that she’s not alone.

Wants a normal, quiet life. Get married have kids or adopt if her partner wants to.

y/n as Batgirl

Let's say she was adopted by Bruce when she was 8. Taking about 2 to 3 years to train before even being allowed to patrol.

Become Batgirl before Jason gets killed and was probably somewhat close to Jason. His death showed the dark reality of vigilantism but wasn't what made her quit. Though it made her think of what the future would look like.

Meeting Tim, she wasn't malicious or anything. Quite the opposite and she was probably closer to Tim than Jason given that they were the same age. Didn't like the idea of having him become the next Robin since Jason's death was still recent, but didn't want to start an argument with Bruce.

It was kinda painful to see Tim dressed up as Robin as he almost looked like Jason. y/n coping that this is just keeping Jason's memory alive and she was the weird one for feeling uncomfortable.

Seeing how quickly Tim was able to gain the role of Robin while it took her a few years made her feel inadequate. Maybe she wasn't made for this but quickly got rid of that thought. Everyone learns at their own pace and Tim happened to be faster.

Jason coming back had y/n squealing out of pure happiness until he tried to kill everyone including her. Could see y/n being the one who nearly gets killed by Jason simply because she's never been a fighter. Too passive for her good. Also, she couldn't bring herself to punch him even before hearing all that he's been through.

There probably wasn't a traumatic event that led her to end her time as Batgirl. Just slowly realizing that this wasn’t her passion, feeling like an inconvenience when her depression knocks her down, and her insecurities. After quitting she avoided everyone as she couldn’t stand them trying to persuade her to not quit or expressing their disappointment in her.

By the time Damian comes around, she is not at all involved with Batman or the others. He mocks her, believing that she couldn’t handle the heat of being a hero which is partly true. If she has any inhuman power then I feel that Damian’s mocking would be more intense. Thinking that she has an advantage that one of them has yet still wasn’t enough and is wasting her power by being a civilian.

Going back to the Valeska twins. I think y/n would be more inclined to be loyal to Jeremiah if dating him rather than Jerome. Mainly because it takes him longer to harm innocent people while Jerome is just stabbing people for shits and giggles. She'd probably hope that there is a cure for the laughing toxin. Any horrible thing post-spray Jeremiah could be blamed on the toxin despite him stating otherwise. Her loyalty and hope would slowly be crushed by how the heinous acts are getting.

(I'd like to think that Jerome made the spray to change his physical appearance to look more like the Joker. Could see the Joker taking in Jerome to become the next "Joker". Was going to use it on himself until y/n expressed her distaste for the Joker. He wasn't going to stop working with or for Joker just because of that, but he wasn't going to use the spray. Which sucks because he worked so hard on it. Then just decided to use it on his brother for 3 reasons. 1) He didn't want it to go to waste. 2) He thinks it'd be funny. 3) Fuck Jeremiah.)

Having a break up with either Valeska is going to have y/n balling her eyes in her room. So the yandere family is just going to break down the door and act like they cared the whole time. "What are you talking about y/n? Us ignoring you? No, that isn't right, we hang out all the time." y/n would have liked the fact that her family cares enough to check on her, but it overwhelmed and freaked out by how sudden this is.

The family would encourage force y/n to start training with them regularly since there are two psychopaths after her. Not only will they be able to keep an eye on her, but also be able to catch up on all that time they missed.

I'm ending it here for now because I have other things to do. But I swear I'm going to get this written. No one's gonna read it, but I'm going to write cuz why not. Possible cover art for the story.

[mindfulstudyquest]

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗶 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗳𝘂𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲

𝟭. being consistent in journaling ( 🪻 )

i have recently started journaling more consistently and would like to maintain this line. i tried several times to start, failing miserably, because i couldn't find a method that would keep me motivated for a long time. then i purchased the famous five minutes gratitude journal, which is much easier to keep, and which i manage to update almost every day because by simply having to answer the pre-set questions my brain doesn't experience it as a commitment, unlike writing a diary page. alongside the fmj i have another diary with blank pages that i use as a proper diary, writing my reflections, talking about my day, complaining about negative things and stuff like that. i must say that it's therapeutic. i hope this is the right time i can maintain consistency in writing.

𝟮. having a more balanced diet ( 🍋‍🟩 )

i admit i've been eating like shit lately, a lot of sweets and processed foods alternated with periods of fasting due to guilt with the excuse of not having enough time to cook among the thousand things to do. i want to seriously commit to investing some of my time each week into preparing healthy, homemade meals (i could share some recipes here if you want, lmk) that keep me energized and don't ruin my hard work at the gym by adding empty calories to my diet.

𝟯. being consistent in the gym ( 🍄 )

and then obviously going to the gym at least 3 times a week, not really due to a matter of weight/aesthetics, but to cultivate discipline and focus. i believe that physically venting stress is the best and healthiest way to handle the crushing weight of life lately. sometimes i simply need to unload my energy without throwing a fit and risking venting it on someone who has nothing to do with it.

𝟰. reading at least 10 pages per day ( 📚 )

i love reading. i love reading madly, but i also know that i often find a thousand excuses not to do it. my brain fried by social media and zombie scrolling doesn't like the idea of concentrating on printed pages at all and i always put off reading all those books placed on my shelf gathering dust. i haven't read a book in months, so the time has come to break this bad habit and take back my greatest passion. i won't even mention all the benefits of reading, because only one book can give you so much in such a short time.

𝟱. sleep at least 8 hours ( ☕ )

i think my lack of sleep has a psychological component, but i'm no expert so what i say may not actually make any sense. i sleep little, much less than i need, when i was in high school i finished studying very late at night (past 3am) every day because i was so dependent on academic validation that the idea of getting a slightly lower grade than my usual could make me throw up. the thing is, i always delay going to sleep, even though my body is begging me to do so, and i think it's due to an inherent fear that the next day i'll have to go through it all over again. consequently in the morning i'm a wreck and i have to drag myself out of bed, being 30% as productive as i actually could be. i think it's time to work on my sleep schedule much more seriously, i think it could boost my health a lot.

𝟲. spend 15min in the sun every day ( ☀️ )

as a woman i know how important it is to be in the sun to produce vitamin D, unfortunately for me i'm some kind of goblin vampire who can't stay in the sun for more than five minutes without getting sunburned – on top of that my eyes start to water when the light too strong. i'll arm myself with sunscreen and give my body what it needs, hoping i won't get arthritis in my forties.

let me know in the comments what are YOU planning to improve in the near future <3

[antianakin]

I don’t know if you’re actually watching the Ahsoka series or not, but I was very curious on your thoughts on the newest episode, and the confrontation between Anakin and Ahsoka.

Bro traumatized her again. Lol. 😒🙃

I’m actually kind of satisfied that she showed a little resentment, but I still don’t like that she didn’t cuss him out or something.

Anakin not apologizing is infuriating at first glance, but I also think it fits his character.

It’s funny, if I think about it in a certain way: I wonder if Anakin himself views his “redemption” kind of the same way his fans do. He’s just like, “Why are you still pissed at me? I died stopping the Emperor, didn’t I?” 🙄

The only one I think he’d actually feel sad about is Leia, because of course he’d want his daughter to like him, but she never will now, because he fucking tortured her and blew up her planet.

You know… I don’t really view Anakin’s final moments as a true “redemption” in the eyes of the galaxy. George Lucas has a quote where he says parents are redeemed in the eyes of their children. I guess you could argue that Anakin redeemed himself in Luke’s eyes, but not the galaxy’s own.

And then there’s Leia, who will never forgive him or think of him as her father.

In a way, it’s almost fitting for Anakin, that each of his children represent something for him.

Luke represents forgiveness, and how it’s never too late to do the right thing.

Leia represents his mistakes and sins. As long as she lives, he’ll always look at her and remember the damage he’s done. She’d never let him forget it.

Which is funny, when going back to the recent Ahsoka episode, and how he was acting like a dick to Ahsoka.

Personally, I think he was purposely trying to piss her off to make her fight to not die.

Still though: he’s such a jackass. 😒

Anyways, I guess my main point is that I don’t view Anakin being a Force Ghost shows that he was “redeemed.” I view it more as a type of salvation. Like the Bible story where Jesus is on the cross with two other men next to him. And then one man decides to “believe in him” or whatever, and his soul is saved by the skin of his teeth.

This is kind of how I view Anakin’s act of saving Luke. His soul was saved, because he did a heel face turn at the last second. So The Force was like, “Good enough, I guess.” *Throws up hands*

Anyways, sorry for the long rambling. I hope you don’t mind the message. Haha. 😅 I just have found your blog really therapeutic, because while I like Anakin as the fascinating character that he is, it still just kills me how fandom woobifies him and blames the Jedi for their own genocide.

I don't mind this message at all, thanks so much for sending so many of your thoughts, this was great! It's going to be a long reply back, though, since there's so much to respond to and if you've been going through my blog, this probably won't surprise you.

I AM watching the Ahsoka show, I'm just putting my thoughts about it on a different blog to this one (this blog was created for me to be negative so I usually only review things on here if I KNOW I'm going to be negative about it, but I was hopeful I'd have positive things to say about the Ahsoka show lol).

I think I'm feeling RELATIVELY mediocre about the show. Like I don't hate the whole thing, I can see why it appeals to people, but it's not really hitting at what I would've wanted from a narrative perspective. It seems to be relying on fan service and pretty visuals rather than genuinely good writing to get them through. If you happen to be the fan being serviced, you probably like it fine. But if you are someone more like me, then you might be noticing that there aren't a lot of stakes, the character motivations are weak or missing, the two storylines aren't being spliced together very well, and the dialogue's just not that great. There's also several more nitpicky things that are really pissing me off about the show (the way they're treating Force sensitivity, Sabine being a Jedi at all for no good reason and how her character is being butchered, the very distant and aloof acting I feel like we're getting from everybody, and of course the requisite anti-Jedi bullshit that we can all expect from Filoni at this point).

But as for how I felt about Anakin and Ahsoka's scenes in the latest episode this week, I am personally of the opinion that it WASN'T Anakin at all. I know it's left ambiguous, so if people feel like it was truly Anakin in some way shape or form, that's fine, but I think it makes more sense to me personally that it wasn't. This is Ahsoka's manifestation of Anakin in a moment where she's literally drowning and emotionally at something of a low point and has to decide if she's going to live or not and that conflict plays out in her head the way we see it. I'm also open to the idea that this is one of those things where the Force "tests" the Jedi not unlike what we see happen on Ilum and Mortis and the Force is just utilizing Anakin's visage to bring Ahsoka's deepest fears out into the open.

What makes it interesting to me is that then we can look at the interactions as THIS IS HOW AHSOKA SEES HIM. Whether she thinks about it that deeply or not, THIS personality is how she remembers him. The immediate choice to be violent with her and test her fighting skills rather than talk to her more gently, the dismissive attitude he has towards her, the flickering back and forth between Anakin and Vader because she doesn't truly know which one he was most. He wasn't necessarily a great teacher and his way of teaching wasn't very Jedi-like, it's ruthless and merciless and unkind, and we see that reflected in their interactions in this episode, which could be a really interesting look at how Ahsoka still remembers him even if she didn't see it negatively at the time.

So him not apologizing isn't like... an indication of how Anakin might actually handle this interaction if it were truly him so much as just... Ahsoka being unsure sure if he WOULD apologize because she has no idea how much of him was Vader the entire time and Vader would clearly never apologize. I think the Anakin we see by the end of ROTJ probably would apologize at SOME point, especially if we're supposed to see him as redeemed and acknowledging/accepting of his sins, etc. But Ahsoka doesn't know that. Ahsoka probably kind-of knows through Luke that he turned back in his last moments, but she wasn't there for that, she didn't get to see it, and she obviously still has no idea what caused him to turn on the Jedi and become a Sith to begin with. Why did he come back for Luke and not her? Was it because she abandoned him? Did he just not care about her the way she thought? Was there something intrinsically wrong with her that he recognized from the beginning?

There's just too much uncertainty perhaps for Ahsoka to know if he'd actually apologize and she doesn't even necessarily need or want an apology so much as she just wants to UNDERSTAND. Because of course it leads into her doubts about HERSELF and whether being his apprentice (even for as short of a time as it was) has somehow influenced her to be more like him and if she should be worried that she'll go dark or cause a student of hers to go dark. If she doesn't know why HE made that choice, how can she trust herself? It's not entirely dissimilar to the statement she made at the end of the Wrong Jedi arc where she claims she's leaving the Jedi because if the Council couldn't trust her then she isn't sure she can trust herself, either. And now with Anakin going dark, she has to wonder if the Council saw something of that in her when no one else did, saw a future for her that she hadn't been able to see for herself yet.

I think personally I'd just rather look at this episode as the closest we're going to get to a "deep dive" into Ahsoka's psyche and character rather than try to analyze it as like "what does this say about Anakin." It's not Anakin's story anymore, it's Ahsoka's. Or it's supposed to be, anyway.

That all being said, I don't think it went far enough and I do dislike that we didn't get to dive into OTHER aspects of Ahsoka via other relationships in order to round out who she actually is. I don't think we know any more about her at the end of the episode than we did at the beginning. I don't think she really grows or changes through the episode at all. I don't know what the whole "choose to live" thing was about or how it connects to her overall arc because while, yes, she's obviously literally drowning in the moment, "choosing to live" is not something they've been exploring as an issue for Ahsoka throughout this season so far, so it didn't feel like this cool end to her character journey so much as just a really shallow one-liner made to sound badass without anything particularly profound behind it.

I think gffa said that one of the things you can tell about this show is that it's been percolating in Filoni's mind for so long that there's things he's leaving out because they're just totally obvious to him now and he's forgotten that the audience won't know some of it without being told or shown. If Ahsoka was depressed or suicidal or something like that, it never came across in the first four episodes. She barely seems to be struggling at all to me, personally. So maybe that's what Filoni wanted us to understand about her, maybe that was the intention, but it just didn't quite make it from his head into the writing or onto the screen.

And I keep going back to the Obi-Wan Kenobi show and the way they handled his character arc. They started him at a really low point where he's so CLEARLY depressed and just moving through life without actually living or finding any way to be happy. They spend so much time showing us how OUT of character Obi-Wan is in order for the pay off by the end and the slow growth of his character throughout the six episode story to feel satisfying. And while he's out of character in his depression, it's done in such a way that that's the POINT. We all know WHY he's out of character, we know what's causing him to be that way, it doesn't need to be explained because it didn't happen off-screen, it's literally the plot of an entire trilogy of films. It felt like a pretty natural extension of the state we last saw him in and it allows him the ability to actually have a journey that makes sense.

We've gotten NONE OF THAT for Ahsoka. Her relationship with Sabine is nonsensical and comes out of nowhere with zero explanation. Her weird thing about Padawans comes out of nowhere with zero explanation. Her aloof attitude is coming out of nowhere and does nothing to help us understand the state of mind she's in. She never seems to be acting SO out of character that it tells the audience how much she's struggling, but she's also SO flat that she no longer feels much like the Ahsoka everyone knew and loved from The Clone Wars. They're inventing new problems for her to have that make no sense instead of giving her a journey to actually deal with the problems she already had and hadn't gotten any resolution for. And they're unable to actually connect her problems from before into the Rebels storyline in a way that makes any real sense or feels genuine and meaningful for either Ahsoka or Sabine, so both storylines are getting half-assed and butchered in the attempt.

Personally, I think Ahsoka should've had a season set closer to ROTJ or even before it, just after she gets off of Malachor and 2-3 years prior to ANH, to explore her immediate reaction to Anakin's betrayal and have her overcome that on her own. Use original characters primarily, throw in Bail Organa or something if needed just to give her a quick plot, but let it be about AHSOKA. And only once her journey to finding herself is complete do we then move on to the Search for Ezra, which should be focusing WAY more on the Rebels characters than we're actually getting and should not involve any of the Rebels characters (except maybe Jacen) learning to be Jedi. Ahsoka would be a side character in this story because she has now had her story told and we can let Sabine and Ezra and Jacen and Hera be at the forefront of the story. (I also think we could've done something with Sabine that wasn't being a Jedi or her entire family being murdered off screen so she has an excuse to do a characterization 180 and act like a bratty teenager all over again.)

If I had to just change THIS episode a little, I have a few alternatives I've been thinking about. For one, I do just think we should've gotten to explore OTHER relationships beyond Anakin to emphasize the other things that Ahsoka is that aren't just "Anakin's Padawan." Rex, Barriss, Plo Koon, even Kanan or Ezra to try to make that connection to Rebels. She's been a friend, a commander, a rebel, a student, a mentor, an ally, a Jedi. She's been so many things that have nothing at all to do with Anakin and I think that might've been nice to explore as well. Yes, Anakin was important. Yes, she's fucked up about it. But that's not ALL THAT SHE IS. So I think starting off with her fears about Anakin is great, but then have her move on and sort-of go through it a little like Charles Dickens' A Christmas Story to show that she's more than this, too. This probably would've worked better if it had been a two parter thing rather than one 30-40 minute episode, depending on how many characters you wanted to throw in.

I also would've appreciated seeing her break and shatter at seeing Anakin. I wanted her to be ANGRY, to refuse to forgive him, to throw his betrayal in face. And then by the end of the episode, she lets it go. She's seen that she doesn't need to hold onto that anymore and it doesn't matter what choices Anakin did or didn't make, she's her own person and can make HER own choices. And so Anakin comes back at the end, and she's no longer angry. She can forgive him. I also would've wanted her to have been more snappy and frustrated and angry earlier in the season, as well, so we can TELL there's something simmering underneath that she's trying to keep repressed until it finally boils over in this episode.

The other alternative I came up with was the OPPOSITE idea where Ahsoka is basically just kind-of... in denial about it. She isn't acknowledging her own anger and pain and betrayal at all and she just wants to spend this time with Anakin the way they used to and Anakin is sitting there provoking her and trying to get her to break so she can let it all out. Eventually he gets her to admit it and get angry and yell at him and acknowledge her own pain finally so she can see how it's impacting her relationships in the present day. She's been trying up until now, but as Yoda's always said, sometimes trying isn't enough, and you just have to do or do not. She doesn't reject him at the end of this, but she can at least acknowledge what he did to her and how it's made her feel. You could even include some of her anti-Jedi bullshit in this and have her justifying Anakin's betrayal by saying the Jedi failed him the way they failed her and Anakin pushing back on that idea so that by the end of the episode, she can recognize that she's been blaming the Jedi because she's been uncomfortable with her inability to understand Anakin's choices and it was easier to blame the Jedi than live with that uncertainty.

I've discussed my feelings on Anakin's redemption a lot and they're definitely not in the majority. Personally, I just don't think he's redeemed at all. My definition of redemption is along the lines of "you can fix/undo the thing you broke/damaged" rather than just... "you decided to stop breaking things even if there's no way to fix it." It doesn't mean Anakin can't keep being a better person if he'd lived, or that he can't find redemption in more specific places (like Luke forgiving him for chopping off his hand), but that there is no redemption for what he did to the Jedi, to the clones, and to the galaxy at large. None. It doesn't matter what he does, it doesn't matter that he stopped himself and Palpatine, it doesn't MATTER. The Jedi and the Republic are still gone, the clones were still enslaved, the galaxy is still in shambles and traumatized from 25 years under the Empire.

You aren't the only one who's chosen to separate your definition of "redemption" from something else to make it make more sense. Someone else went for redemption being different from an absolution wherein you are just immediately forgiven of all of your sins because of one act or whatever, while redemption is the process of doing better. If that works for you, go for it. Personally, I just think Anakin isn't redeemed. He cheat coded his way into being a Ghost and the Ghosts don't make any sense anyway. I think it's definitely intended to represent his redemption IN THE NARRATIVE, like that's the point of the visual, but it just doesn't work for me, so I choose not to see it that way. It's ambiguous enough and the Force Ghost lore confusing enough that it's not that hard.

Your interpretation of Luke and Leia as the two sides of forgiveness is intriguing. I do think Leia could get to the point of forgiveness that basically looks like letting go of her anger because the man's dead anyway so there's no real point staying angry and understanding the history that may have led him to become the monster she knew, but that doesn't mean she has to LIKE him or ever consider him a father.

I think you could kind-of throw Ahsoka and Obi-Wan in there as different reactions to Anakin, too. With Ahsoka as someone who sort-of clings to who Anakin used to be and can't truly reconcile the two versions of him that she knew, and Obi-Wan as someone who rises above. Unlike Leia, he did know and love Anakin, but he is also able to let go of his anger and betrayal and accept Anakin for what he is now rather than pining for someone who no longer exists. And Ahsoka is the opposite of Luke as someone who also knew Anakin and loved him, but struggles a lot MORE with the revelation of who he was and his impact on her life. Everyone approaches Anakin and his relationship to them and his choices in a different way.

I wish the Ahsoka show wanted to explore any of that at all lol.

[trashytoastboi]

Howdy! Could we have Kid with a toy maker s/o? You can do with it what you may. I just kind of think it would be an interesting match. Also love you Work, good job!!

Heyya!🍞 This was a really fun one to write! My apologies for the very long wait and hope you enjoy~ 🍀

Headcanons: Kid x Toy Maker! S/O

(Gender Neutral) 

Eustass Kid

🛠 Kid loves seeing their little contraptions, little robots, dinosaurs, teddy bears, ragdolls, and many more creations that they effortlessly create with perfection. He is actually in awe at how finely, quickly and accurately they work. Whether it is with wood carving, working with mechanical pieces or even the sewing skills needed for plush toys or dolls clothes. There was a vast variety of toys which Kid never even knew existed and he thought nothing of toys until he witnessed the craftsmanship first hand. 

🛠 When {Name} and Kid got a little more involved with one another, the decision to naturally travel with Kid’s crew became a reality. Kid even sweetened the deal when he agreed to allow {Name} to share his private workshop. Truthfully Kid could sit for hours and just watch {Name} work with how deftly they worked. Everything was interesting, one of the more therapeutic things he watched was when {Name} painted dolls or details. 

🛠 {Name} found it cute how Kid would watch them and admire their work. Even though {Name} was a little closer to a merchant than a pirate as they would create all these toys and sell them to the various toy stores along the grandline. They even made a very famous name for themselves, an alias of course but nevertheless. It was how every unique piece was stamped, signed or carved. They had felt motivated to create something unique for Kid. They settled on a very intricate doll, inspired from the punk movement in style with some cyborg-esque qualities, including a mechanical arm that resembled Kid’s. When you pulled the string on the back it gave something of a war cry before aggressively strumming at the guitar in hand. Kid was definitely impressed and touched, knowing just how much effort {Name} put into every aspect of making the doll, from the design to the sewing of clothes, the painting, the mechanical work for it to move or finely carving the wood to make it look as realistic as it did. 

🛠 One of the more exciting things was allowing Kid to see their main workshop, back on their home island. {Name} was visibly nervous, more so than Kid had ever seen them. “What’s got ya so damn nervous?” Kid stated. “Well, it’s just so…personal. I’ve never let anyone see my workshop.” {Name} admitted. They cracked open the door and gestured for Kid to walk in. They pulled a large lever down from the adjacent wall and in sequential order, a large amount of lights began to light up the large workshop. Kid was in awe at how messy their design table was. Tons of pencil shavings, eraser crumbs, crumpled up paper balls, dishes and empty snack containers. The reason why it was so shocking, Kid compared its state to the rest of the workshop that was immaculately kept and clean. Every tool and brush had its own place and there was not even a speck of debris. Kid definitely could take a few notes from {Name} on how to organize and keep an immaculate workshop. Thinking back, when he began sharing a workshop with {Name} he never once complained about mess, or clutter. Unlike his side that was so disorganized he could practically lose himself. 

🛠 While his partner was almost perfect in every craft they learned with tons of practice, they never hesitated to learn or refine their skills further. Whenever Kid offered up a few of his own tips about working with metal, its components and temperament they were sure to take note of every word and try it out for themselves. Kid enjoyed being able to converse about something he is truly passionate about and have them listen so intently and even challenge some things. If they found something to be a little difficult they would easily ask for his help and Kid enjoyed being able to show off his skills a little. Those genuine and overly analytic comments that {Name} gave really stroked his ego. 

🛠 Kid decided to try and reciprocate by making something for {Name} as well. He worked on small pieces, but toys were something out of his expertise. He tried to make something cute, it ended up looking like a janky clump of metal pieces that awkwardly sat together to make some kind of silhouette. Going into this project he truly thought it was going to be like any other project, he thought he would get the hang of it as he went along. He had a newfound appreciation for {Name’s} craft. He kept trying until it eventually resembled, at some angle, in some way, maybe if one squinted a little it could look like a cat. Kid honestly was just going to toss it in the trash, but he didn't know {Name} had been watching him and how hard he worked, even when it ended up with him being even more frustrated. {Name} refused to let Kid throw it away, “It’s for me isn’t it?” {Name} treasured it, “It’s such a cute mantaray!” They said happily, “It’s a cat…” Kid mumbled. 

🛠 {Name} had been holed up in the workshop for days on end, without seeing a single ray of sunshine nor coming out to eat or drink water. Kid wasn’t even sure if {Name} slept, when he stepped into the workshop he saw a shrimp-like figure hunched over the desk. Mumbling words so fast it may have sounded like a summoning ritual as strange symbols and illustrations were scribbled over the various pages before a hail storm of paper balls were tossed everywhere. Now, well this may have sounded like some strange start of a horror story, it was actually pretty normal for {Name}. This was merely their design process. Even Kid grew accustomed to seeing his sleep deprived blanket clad shrimp-postured partner in the dark workshop with only a single lamp to light up their table while they scrawled various designs for new toys or improvements for creations they had already made. Well sooner or later, the shrimp will evolve into a slug when {Name} slides out the workshop looking for food. 

🛠 {Name} sometimes gets a bit down if they fail at their designs, they get highs and lows of creating things. Sometimes they succeed so perfectly, other times they fail and they struggle to find motivation to give it a second try. Kid often will let them wallow about it by just encouraging them to give it a break and return with a fresh mind when they feel they have the capacity. Sometimes Kid can directly help by giving suggestions on how to change the design, sometimes his insight gives a new perspective that gives [Name} the answer they needed. 

[one-vivid-judgment]

Hello. Could I please request some comfort headcanons with Joon-gi, Seonhee, Zhao and Tesso with a verbally domestically abused s/o? Tbh your headcanons and just any random post are kinda soul healing and even therapeutic. They give me strength to mentally deal with any unpleasant situation. So, um, thank you.

I'm so glad my posts give you strength, anon! Tbh I picked up writing myself for therapeutic purposes, so it's good to know someone else is getting something out of this as well! I genuinely wish you the best!

Joongi Han

He can relate, actually. He didn’t exactly have a normal childhood: mom passed away when he was still too young to know any better, and his dad who was already abusive before, turned to drinking and his behavior only got worse. He wouldn’t wish that on his worst enemy, much less someone he loves as much as you.

Thankfully, he is no longer in that stage where he will get queasy talking about the subject because the wound is still too fresh. He would have probably had a breakdown if you had brought up the subject a few years earlier, but now he’s... grown used to it. Any pain is dulled out by now, so you can freely talk to him about your situation. He knows you need someone to turn to, and if he is not that person for you, what kind of boyfriend would that make him?

Will hold you silently and just let you talk, hands running up and down your back. He’ll suggest using the Geomijul surveillance system to keep you safe—even if you say no, he will probably go through with it anyway because he can’t stand seeing you like that. If not the entire Geomijul, just himself is enough. He can free up hours of his schedule to watch over you; Seonhee will understand. It will also be her who suggests he brings you over to the Geomijul to stay for good. They have enough bowguns left and are still a threatening enough presence around Ijincho to know no one would dare mess with them.

Seonhee

Unlike Joongi, she hasn’t gone through abuse herself. She’s heard the horror stories from Yeonsu though, so she has some idea of just how bad it can get. Enough to be absolutely fucking fumming by the time you are done telling her about your situation. You can be sure she will take matters into her own hands, even if you try to stop her.

Don’t worry, it won’t be anything like straight up murdering your abuser (though, why lie, she really wants to, and the Geomijul has the means to do that; she can ask Zhao for help disposing of the body, too. Meat bun filling). She will, however, make sure there is always someone watching over you. Most likely Joongi, but if he is out of comission, then it will be anyone else. If it gets too bad, she will do the watching herself. And if it gets real bad? Seonhee is outright snatching you away. She can make extra room for you in the Geomijul HQ, to make sure that person is too scared to come get you.

Not a day goes by where she doesn’t ask you how you are holding up. She’s seen what abuse can do to a person (see, Yeonsu, and to an extent, Zhao), and she has learned the importance of asking those questions. You can come to her with whatever is troubling you, you know that, but she still makes sure to remind you.

Zhao Tianyou

It will take you some time to convince him not to do anything that could potentially land him in jail. You’ve never seen Zhao so mad in your life, and he doesn’t usually yell for no good reason, but man, does he want to kill the bastard that’s putting you through all this. But he also knows it wouldn’t be useful (albeit pretty satisfactory) to get thrown in the slammer and leave you alone.

You Tian is your new home. You can stay for as long as you want: hours, days if you want to. Anything that doesn’t involve you going home to your abuser sounds great in his book. His Liumang loyalists are now basically your full time bodyguards, and if that doesn’t work to intimidate the asshole in question, he’ll have to give them a very stern talking-to. Full of death threats and intimidation tactics. It will prove hard to not take his saber with him though.

He makes sure to be extra sweet to you. Always cooking your favorite dishes, always making sure you are feeling okay. He’ll introduce you to Kasuga and the others if you are up for it, and they’ll quickly become your biggest and best support network. To be honest, Zhao may have grown a little paranoid after the whole ordeal and might need to have you within eyeshot to make sure you are safe. He knows, he knows. But he won’t let it go too far to the point it gets unhealthy.

Tesso

Honestly, he wants to get angry. Hell, he should get angry! But all he can muster is hug you.  He is at the verge of crying when he does. He’s a sensitive man, these things affect him, and the fact that you are going through that when you don’t deserve it at all? Well, you bet your ass it upsets him.

It’s not professional of him, but he’ll admit he sometimes skips Liumang work to go check on you. Like Zhao, he might get a little paranoid about what happens to you when you are out of his sight. He might have hired Tsukumo and Sugiura (Yagami too, if he happens to be in Yokohama) to keep an eye on you; as far as he’s concerned, that’s money well spent. He wishes he could do more—he’ll suggest you run away and stay at his apartment in Restaurant Row. It’s deep enough in Liumang turf that it’s pretty much guarateed your abuser won’t chase after you, if they have half a brain.

His hugs are therapy in and of itself. Helps that he’s a cuddler and pretty much can’t sleep if he isn’t hugging you. Now that he knows what you’ve had to go through, he has all the more reason to do that. He can’t help the smile when he wakes up and sees that you are by his side and not back at that shitty home you grew up in.

[not-poignant]

Question! You juggle so many projects at once, and I think that's awesome. Do you have any advice for how you stay motivated (and/or organized) to work on so many different things? If I'm inspired by something, I want to focus on That Thing and Only That Thing — I have a really hard time pulling my brain away to work on other projects.

I'm wondering if a schedule would help? How do you even set your schedule?

This is a lot of questions packed into one ask, I realize — I guess I'm just in awe of your NaNoWriMo progress (you are insane (affectionate)) and want to pick your brain about your process a little.

Hope you have a lovely day!

Honestly anon, we all have our ways of writing, and it's best if you stick to what actually works for you instead of forcing yourself to do something different.

I'd recommend looking into some of the coaching / videos / podcasts by Becca Syme. A lot of it is simply based around accepting who you are, instead of forcing yourself to write like other people. Part of that is finding your strengths, but some of it is simply...being like 'okay, I'm like this as a writer.'

I don't write lots of projects because I taught myself to, but because I love doing it. I write more when I work on more projects. If I forced myself to only focus on one thing I'd feel stifled and held back, I'd write slower, and I actually think my writing would be muddier and less good.

Other people do best and write fastest when they're focusing on only one project at a time.

And which kind of person you are anon is something you'll figure out over time. Though it sounds like you might already know.

If you wanted to try working on multiple projects, I'd look at adding just one more into the rotation and seeing how it feels. Does it make you write more? Does it make you want to write more? Is it pulling focus? Is it making you lose inspiration on the other story? It's not so much a scheduling issue as it is simply...which one gets the words out?

The goal isn't to become like me as a writer, just like my goal isn't to become like other writers. The goal is to get your words out in the way that works best for you. If that's slowly, that's amazing. If that's fast, that's great, and while there are techniques you can try, it should always be with a view to respecting your organic process.

Many writers quit, or burnout, as soon as they stop respecting that process, or when they start feeling ashamed of their natural process and put pressure on themselves to do it another way.

Also I'll be honest, I'm working on too many projects right now and even though I'm loving it, I know it's too many. Like, I've deprioritised Underline the Red for my own sanity, and I am actually really looking forward to clearing a couple of stories from the schedule so I can focus on other things. About 3-4 stories is my sweet spot.

I don't exactly 'stay organised' anon. I actively want to work on all of these stories. And tonally they're all different, so if I feel like something more wholesome, or something darker, or something more pornographic, I have options. I do have a monthly kind of idea of what I should be working on (i.e. based on the upcoming schedule), but I can only really do that thanks to ADHD meds and I'm cautious of recommending techniques that I personally can only access and make use of because medication has fixed some of my executive dysfunction issues. If you're playing with any kind of unmedicated ADHD, there are tools that won't be as useful without tangible medical or therapeutic support. D:

I set my writing schedule via a mix of the writing that makes me money, alongside extra writing that I enjoy that doesn't make me money. Ideally I enjoy all of it and it's all fun. But the stuff that makes me money has to come first, because of like...life reasons. Idk where you're at professionally, or even if you want to do this professionally, and that would profoundly influence how I'd even suggest scheduling. If you don't have to schedule your writing, don't do it! If you don't have to make decisions like this, then don't make them!

Also, if I hated any of these stories, I'd put the story on hiatus. I don't believe in writing stuff I hate or resent writing. I know other people can make themselves do this and I'm glad that works for them, but I can't do it and I just...yeah. I have to love the story and enjoy it and not resent it to see it through, it's probably why there's so much drama happening all the time, and angst, I'm keeping my dumb hurt/comfort brain engaged lmao.

Never underestimate the power of also just 'I've been doing this for 10 years and I'm very practiced at stuff that other people will only learn with years of practice.' Some of this stuff doesn't have shortcuts, it just had a lot of time and 5 million words sunk into it. When I first started writing on AO3 I wrote one story at a time (though I did quickly become bored of that and moved to two). I wasn't making money. I didn't have a schedule for 9 years. I didn't want one.

The things I've learned... my wordcounts are reliable because I've just had a lot of practice writing. Unfortunately there's no trick to that, beyond sitting down and writing. The more you do, the more you learn about your own process and respect it, the more you write the stories you love, the better you'll get. And I've had times where I've burnt out, times where I've needed long breaks, times where I pushed too hard or forced myself to be like other writers and ended up wondering if I'd quit.

I want to give you easy answers, but the easiest one I have is - which way of writing brings you the most joy? Which way makes the words flow? Is it just one story at a time? That's great - that's your way. That might change in time, but don't force it to. You can experiment like a scientist and try different things, but be compassionate and accepting of whatever your innate way of doing things is.

I struggled so much with the fact that serials is just my way in a world of novelists. I cannot tell you how much misery it has brought me, trying to force myself to be a dedicated novelist when I always just wanted to write sequential stories live. And I really thought I was doing things wrong and you know, other authors thought I was doing things wrong.

It turned out I wasn't, but self-acceptance of my own methods and style went a long way in that process.

You might not like this response anon, and I apologise for not actually just lining up a schedule for you to try (I don't listen to my own schedules), but...it's okay to be someone who works on one story at a time. Or two stories only. I actually think it's awesome, and my writer-friend in my writer's group whose work I've been helping beta for years is a 'single project at a time' writer and a *rewriter* (no one wishes they could change their process as much as rewriters imho) and her writing is amazing. Like, incredibly good. (That's Stephanie Gunn by the way, for anyone who wants to read some cool science fiction / gothic fantasy).

So that's her process, and it's an amazing one, because it creates the writing that it does. Whatever your natural process is, anon, it's okay to write that way, trust me.

[tadpolesonalgae]

“You made more than a mistake, Az. Now we’re all hurting because you—”

i am so glad it's finally been said out loud. And that it was Mor who said it because immediately I understood how she was feeling about the entire situation, which made me feel better about her being an asshat at the end of the last chapter. It's strangely therapeutic. As soon as Mor tells Az to shut up though, I couldn't help but start crying a little bit because you really perfected how I thought Mor would've perceived reader going to Eris-

“She could have come to any of us. It’s more than we ever had, and yet she ignored it. Then tries to pretend it away? I’m not immune to that. If she can’t even be bothered to care about my pain why should I give a damn about hers?”

-this line in particular ruined me (not to be too personal n emotional lol), as someone who grew up in a not so great home i can really empathize with Mor here. It's not healthy behavior but I can say that there have been times where I've resented the people in my life who didn't accept help after i had been desperate for it for years. I'm more emotionally aware now and have unpacked those resentments (THANK GOD), but it was such a visceral response to reading that line because it mirrored unhealed me.

The next scene with madja was the perfect balance to mor and azriel's...argument? discussion? idk. You really guide us well through the world which is something I really admire in your writing, it flows very naturally and it always feels like a very natural progression of events. (its just something i've noticed i struggle with in my own wips lol).

compliments aside, it was also really sweet to see reader's peace in this chapter. Madja herself being a very peaceful motherly figure for reader who we know desperately needs that kind of care right now, her sisters are doing great right now but she needs someone who's not family to prove that they do care about her and it will not change over a few mistakes. Which is something that Cassian embodies very well later in the chapter too.

Bas.... sweet guy :( i hope reader gives him the truth. Imo, i think he deserves at least a bit of the truth when she is in a better place to give it (she fr could've said she was at a friend's in autumn. bas doesn't need to know WHO). But Bas held up his own boundaries very well with reader as well and I'm glad that we got a little of his feelings on the situation as well as reader acknowledging she hasn't been a great friend recently. (it's valid tho she's been goin THROUGH IT)

Tabbatha... you keep saying you don't know how to portray cassian but i personally think you do him such a great service ESPECIALLY after some instances of cass's behavior towards nesta's struggles in her own healing journey. I really feel like he actually cares about reader herself compared to rhys who cared about feyre and her only. He makes an effort to get her to relax, which is something acomaf cass would've done and is the version of him i miss the most. And him calling reader out for keeping things to herself? I personally think she needs to be called out and take accountability for her own role in the healing process. He was the perfect person to push her in this scene.

The dinner scene also really resonated with me and my own childhood. As a kid growing up we NEVER ate dinner together, so reader's apprehension to going to dinner is so real, and Mor sitting across from her?

oh myyyy goodness, ik this chapter just came out but im already rereading hehehe im so excited for the next one

-🤠

If I’m honest with you, I wanted Mor to tear into Az a little more than she did? For her to fairly obviously and kind of viciously defend reader but I felt it would be weird for her to go that far, considering Mor is supposed to be feeling very betrayed and hurt by reader? I did have fun with writing Mor telling Az to shut up though 🫣 I even nearly italicised it 🫢😳

‘The next scene with madja was the perfect balance to mor and azriel's...argument? discussion?’

Oh I really liked writing the Madja scene!! I mean, kind of scary obviously, but I enjoy her character and it’s so nice getting to write someone being kind to reader? 😭 Particularly since a fair amount of scenes in cbmthy aren’t particularly lighthearted/high-spirited? I’m hoping to continue dropping scenes with Madja in here and there since it would be weird if reader’s checkups suddenly stopped out of nowhere? Also so she has someone to keep an eye on her who might know a little more about what’s going on with her physically and mentally from experience and studying other people/medicine?

‘(its just something i've noticed i struggle with in my own wips lol).’

This might be totally unsolicited/unhelpful, but usually for me if a scene isn’t working or I’m struggling to write it, I’ll either change the perspective or switch to something else entirely? Like the scene just after reader’s entered the kitchen with Cassian I was struggling with, which is why there’s that snippet from Rhys’ pov to section them up? I don’t know if that’ll work for other people, but it’s something I fall back on quite regularly so it might help you too? 🫂🧡💛

‘but she needs someone who's not family to prove that they do care about her and it will not change over a few mistakes. Which is something that Cassian embodies very well later in the chapter too.’

I’m so glad you feel Cassian read that way!! 😭 I’m kind of of the mind that Nesta’s still protective over her sisters and so that might occasionally stretch across to Cassian at times? Also I just feel like Cassian genuinely cares about people in a more (this might sound strange) innocent way? Like more carefully and tenderly?

I would have loved to write Cassian and reader as being good friends but because Cassian’s friends with Feyre I think reader would still always feel in second place and unfortunately it might hinder her more than help 😭

‘Tabbatha... you keep saying you don't know how to portray cassian but i personally think you do him such a great service’

I’m literally refusing to respond to this because I’m so embarrassed and flustered from the compliment 😶‍🌫️

‘As a kid growing up we NEVER ate dinner together, so reader's apprehension to going to dinner is so real, and Mor sitting across from her?’

Yes! And especially after she’s done something that so obviously puts her in a vulnerable position too? Now they all know that she was in a place like that I can’t imagine reader will feel particularly comfortable over dinner 😭

As for Mor, I think I’m actually going to be writing this scene tonight, so I’ll be interested to see what happens? (Because honestly I don’t 100% know how it’s going to go either 😭🫣)

‘oh myyyy goodness, ik this chapter just came out but im already rereading hehehe im so excited for the next one’

Babes oh my gosh I was struggling to start chapter 18 so did a change 🫢🫣

I had so much fun writing the opening scene to the next part and I’ll be so excited to hear some thoughts on it—if you or anyone has any thoughts on it, of course 🧡💛

[thatonebabybat]

I always see people who are interested in alt fashion ask goths where to get good clothes (that aren't overpriced) so here's a few good places from my own experiences: - BANDCAMP. Not all goth bands have merch, but the ones who do always have incredible designs and they can be fairly inexpensive! The smaller the artist, the more likely their merch will be affordable, and the more they need the support. So go do some digging~ (I find a lot of niche bands through playlists, Never Resting Soul on youtube has some good ones and so does Obscura Undead) - Thrift stores. I know this one gets talked about a lot but I see people say "My thrift store just has granny clothes" and I just want to say... It's about the way you search and the way you style pieces. I like to beeline towards the black sections since my thrift store is sorted by color but yours might be different. After that I usually like to look at reds and purples, but green or even white can also be pretty cool if you style em right. See what calls to you. Look for good fabrics. Lace, velvet (or fake velvet), leather (I'm vegetarian so I hate to say it, but fake leather kind of sucks ass and crumbles apart within a few wears most of the time. Look for real leather if you want to buy it), or normal fabrics with interesting prints. I'm plus size and I've found some really good items doing this. Also, sometimes something that looks like a "grandma" piece on its own looks stunning when you pair it with the right accessories. Invest in some good belts and jewelry and you can make the most basic black t shirt and jeans or skirt look super alternative and pretty. - DIY. A lot of people assume you need some decent sewing skills to do this and while that's certainly helpful for more complicated DIYs, I'm here to tell you: You can just bullshit things with paint and safety pins and fabric glue and cheap craft supplies. Want a chain belt? the crafts section of walmart has chains you can throw on literally anything if you have a will and some safety pins (which you can also buy at walmart) and I hear hardware stores have longer chains way cheaper. You can also write things with that puffy paint you probably remember from when you were a kid. or use a cheap paintbrush to actually paint with it if you want. If you have patches you can fabric glue them or safety pin them (seriously those things are lifesavers) or both for good measure. Key rings are also great for projects that have a lot of chains or other hardware on them. you can make a chain with them or you can attach chains together with them or just like throw em on any piece of black clothing you want or honestly like 50 other things I'm probably not thinking of rn. Of course, you can also just shred tf out of things if that's more your style. Tights, denim, shirts, whatever. Distressed clothes are always an easy mention. (shredding denim is weirdly therapeutic if you have pent up frustration, try it out sometime) You can also draw or write on colored things with markers for a cool effect. I have a whole playlist for alt DIYs if you're looking for some inspiration: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLK4LkzpKtOvIFkJadZDUnfN4ntztkU70q - Finally, and I hate to say it, but.. Fast fashion. I don't recommend it if you can avoid it, but sometimes it's all you got and I don't really judge anyone for buying it. I got my current pair of combat boots at target and there's plenty of pieces you can style in alternative ways there. Lots of good basics and they usually have a pretty decent belt selection. They also have combat boots for around $20 last time I checked. (Don't buy from shein if you can help it though that shit is toxic and I don't just mean it in the metaphorical way.) You can also get good pieces for DIY projects like I mentioned above, or you can find cool tights to pair with your outfits.

[vstridb]

HSHQTASK059: FAREWELL !

when did you join ? what made you join ? what do you remember from the plotlines that were current at the time ? where were you in life when you joined and where are you now ?

i joined in early (?) 2017. i had a lucky blue smith fc but that lasted for a hot minute and i ghosted LMAO. then i reapplied with astrid and as a bernadotte, i had sooo much fun <3 i don't remember ANYTHING, i'm sorry i just don't. i think irenton was still in its slowburn era. i was still in high school, about to graduate. now i have a master's degree and i'm working, crazy stuff!!!!

which characters have you written over the years ?

astrid, uriah 1.0 and 2.0, vitaliya, verona, francisco / francois, arvid, a dudley o'shaughnessy fc ( for 1 sec before ghosting )... i think that's everyone ???

what is your favourite plotline that you've been part of ?

i had a lot of fun writing chimei. i think it was the height of hshq for me so it really sticks out to me. idk if the bernadottes as a whole count as a plotline ? i'm such a sucker for them. the NUMBER one plotline though would be the russian plots vitya was part of. i think it's a sign of a good plotline when a 60-year-old character's threads are interesting and have me logging in. i don't want to name every plot but i have to give a mention to italy's stuff. i picked up verona because there was a huge hole in the hshqverse since italy had no rep, and i figured i'd survive without any nephews and nieces but then you all came back and i was so overjoyed <3 verona's story became so much more fulfilling for me to write.

what about other people's plotlines ?

i know i was kinda involved but watching the basel thing evolve was super entertaining. i liked the whole thing from beginning to the end. as for smaller plots, i think the spanish fires fucking up first zhergi and the farnauld has to be my fave thing. it was so wild and i LOVED the fact that a 3 year-old-plotline still had an effect on current threads and in such a surprising way <3

who is your favourite character from the ones you've played ? why ? what made you love them ? what made them so fun to write ?

astrid.... of course it's astrid. she was my age so i mirrored a lot of problems from my own life and made them hers. obviously they were exaggerated problems and shit but through astrid i got to write about emotions that were current to me. it was therapeutic and fun. i've loved all of my characters a lot though. vitya was so special because she was a character like no other. i loved creating her backstory and i had so much fun working on her psyche. a former USSR with a modest background, now an extremely influential duchess ? i loveeed it. it was so different and writing her inner monologue was so satisfying.

if you could relive a plotline, which would it be ?

i think the beginning of chimei. there was something about it. it moved naturally. i really miss the time.

is there a plotline that you'd edit now if you could ?

i'd speed up ilstrid so that we would actually get to write them getting together. i'll take the blame for ilstrid never really taking off lmao sry about that evy. i also wanna say that ilstrid is one of my fave ships because it was so easy and not-at-all-stressful to develop. it may have not reached its end, we didn't get a satisfying ending but i think it was so much fun to portray that kind of a love story. i wasn't a fan of friends-to-lovers trope but ilstrid is still one of my fave ships <3

what's a plotline you wish you would have been able to finish before closing or just write more of ?

ilstrid akfndsjkgbsnjg but also i think i would have enjoyed writing verona as the grand duchess of austria too. i do regret never applying for an austrian. it was something that "i'll do later" and never did it. it was partly because i didn't have a plotline for an austrian and couldn't naturally come up with one :(

what is your favourite ooc memory ?

when we brought the zulus. i don't think anything topped it. we made some really fucking shady and weird online chatroom to figure out the zulus' backstory and it was so much fun. i hadn't been that excited for something in a long time!!! and i think i'll have to mention all of the late nights of chatting with people. it was a big part of the hshq experience. we were all actual friends and i loved joking around. and i'll say it here now because this is so embarrassing but honestly i've always felt so appreciated when people have used the term naomi'd. it felt like a nickname fkjsgnjkgn and i'm glad i never upset anyone with my pushiness skdgngj

where can others find you if they want to get in touch ?

i'll disappear, i'm sorry but i think it's inevitable. i've enjoyed the chats and like i said i've loved to joke around but i'm not a person who really does online relationships. hshq was an exception and it'll stay as one. if you guys ever start writing again, pls im me or @ me. if it's meant to be, i'll stumble upon the message at the right time <3

what else would you like to say ?

oh dear ! i have so much to say but not enough words to express my feelings ! seven years is a long time to be part of something and i never expected to remain here for such a long time. i've been allowed to write and plot and create complex and inspiring plotlines with you, and i think it's been exceptional. hshq was something else among rpgs. anyone who has been part of this, has to agree. i think it says a lot that even though the dash died, on the very day of closing, six or so members did the final task. and i have a feeling we'll see many 058 and 059 tasks this week. i've laughed a lot with you, i've stayed up until the little hours just to be part of the experience, i've cried at your writing... i think honesty hours will be the epitome of joy for me. they always made me laugh and the energy was unbeatable. hshq has given me so much joy and has taught me a lot ! about people, about writing, about the english language and photoshop !!! you guys have no fucking idea how grateful i am of this experience and i wish i could relive it --- and that's a really good sign. sometimes we are glad to reach the ending but i don't think that applies here. this spring will feel different and this week will feel horrible. i have to admit, i'm not exactly ready for this and it feels so silly because it was 'just rp' aksfdbjdsgs thank you everyone for these years, the late nights and the amazing experience <3

[angelmichelangelo]

hi there, woodyangelo anon here... its been a minute but hope you're doing well!!

i read your fic about the promise rings and it was so sweet i could have died... i like that even though woody didn't actually appear in the fic their relationship still shone through and all the turtle brothers knew what a power couple they are. you had all their characters down perfectly and it was really great. just wanted to let you know how much i enjoyed it :) <3

AH i savoured this ask in my inbox for some time just because it gave me all the warm squishy feelings every time i went back to read it :’)

thank you so much anon <3 woodyangelo are so important to me, writing them is so therapeutic and to know others enjoy it (as small of a circle it is, in tmnt fandom) really does mean a lot :)

woody can be a tricky guy to write just because imo we don’t have enough of him in the comics but im glad that i was able to bring him to life a little in my fic ! for sure when im over my writing bug i’ll get back to writing these two goobers

thanks again for such kind words! big loves to u !!

[dyrewrites]

Have you considered writing stuff that doesn't have romance in it?

I mean you are probably damn good at it but perhaps it would have therapeutic effects or something

I don't know if I'm any good at it. I don't seem to write it the way a lot of others do...so I got no clue. I like doing it though.

I also have a lot without any romance at all. This is actually a very new thing for me.

Weald and Wen has none. There's allusions to some in the past, but overall there's none. All of my short stories are void of it as well. There's also the children's story I'm like halfway done with.

And the series this book I'm writing now leads into is a detective series, there may be a few sex scenes in there but it's not really romance. Also Chronicles of Ash won't be either, but again, might have some scenes.

But while I was writing Pale Blood it turned into a romance, in a way, and it was so much fun I just kind of kept doing that. The rest of that series will also be mired in romance, but not in the same way. I just noticed that each book kind of has a couple in it and the narrator is trying to get their partner back the whole way through. So it went that way.

In Fog is the reason this new one exists, however, I am blaming it entirely. It set something off in my noggin that I can't seem to get out of just now.

But when I get to writing the other horror shorts I have planned, and Weald and Wen's sequel(s), I'll probably get out of it.

But if you mean "romance" as "sex scenes", well...the horror doesn't (except Don't Look, but that's...that's different), but I can't really write anything else that doesn't. If I'm writing about adults living their lives, it's going to come up and I can't really help it.

Therapeutically speaking, it actually is therapeutic to write this stuff for me. I won't get to into the reasons, because this is long enough already and I'm realizing I may have had too much coffee today, but it is. Just like writing torture scenes where the victim fights back and arguments where both parties actually have a voice and quiet, nagging, constant dread is therapeutic for me.

I just get into arguments with myself about how much is too much and "will people see this as romantic or assault"...because it's hard to tell sometimes.

[lucysweatslove]

The last two days have been really busy and tough. I’m so glad it’s over.

Yesterday I saw my PCP in the morning, and I think I already said that she was running so far behind I had to reschedule therapy. She basically confirmed what I thought already: hair loss from telogen effluvium, but I’m at the end of the heavy loss portion (pull test was negative). Lots can trigger it like stress or a high fever. Timing is right for stress related to school. The myalgias are most likely a combo of dehydration (I really can’t bring myself to drink enough fluids, and I know this) along with muscular tension (I have good strength and general flexibility when prompted, but I’m constantly tensed up- so it’s not that my muscles and fascia CAN’T but that I’m likely holding my body tightly). Since the really bad myalgias and allodynia mostly resolved back to low level myalgia with gradual worsening, I may have had an acute viral illness like influenza or something that made all of that transiently worse, but you can’t really diagnose afterwards (also, if lol if I did have influenza because I got my flu shot in September…)

She ordered some labs to check for muscle damage and any metabolic concern too, and I think she added D and iron on to it as well. But I haven’t come in yet because I haven’t had the time.

She ended up “prescribing” self care. Specifically, at least 20 min a day, 3 days a week, focused in muscular relaxation like gentle stretching or foam rolling. She said she could send referrals for PT specifically thinking the dry needling they do could help, and she’s happy to write a letter for therapeutic massage if I need that for insurance coverage (which, I don’t think I would). And I love that she is so willing to support me with those kinds of treatments. Reality though is that I don’t think I CAN make time for them on top of everything else. I’m at the hospital nearly every day anyway, so she was all “they can do it here” to convince me to try it (especially the dry needling), but I just can’t bring myself to spend an hour on a PT appointment somewhere in between classes and clinical stuff.

Also, I’m kinda sorta trying something new out personally in relation to the body discomnect. I downloaded Kinder World, thinking it would a great way to start doing smaller bits of more digestible self care… and I introduced myself for the first time ever identifying as a demigirl. I read about it for the first time a couple months ago I think, and it felt like it matched how I feel about my general gender and even some of my body disconnect, but I have a hard time with it… in my head it works well and I’m totally fine with it and feel like its a good descriptor, but I don’t know how other people will take it, or what they’ll assume I think or feel because of it. Especially because I don’t want to devalue or take away from the seriousness of anybody else’s marginalization or trans experiences. In my personal framework I’m still cis. I’m AFAB, and my my general presentation and what I’m comfortable with matches my gender assigned at birth to a degree. I love a lot of traditional feminine things like dresses and my long hair and doing my makeup, and I still use she/her pronouns in basically all situations. More so, I never particularly feel MASCULINE either. I just don’t feel totally binary feminine. Like the intensity of femininity is… low, even when I’m doing the “feminine things.” And I know many agender or non-binary people can identify with some femininity too- I’m not saying you have to identify as feminine or a girl to enjoy those things. But for me, it feels like the way I experience the disconnect from gender isn’t strong enough or all the time to say I’m NOT in any way a woman.

I kinda had this same feeling when I realize I was demi sexual too. I had no idea if that was actually part of LGBTQIA+ because a) asexuality isn’t always welcomed in that acronym, b) I’ve only ever dated men and as AFAB myself that feels like a “straight” experience and has come with privilege, and c) because I do experience attraction to my spouse, am I even welcome in ace spaces? My best friend who is bi and also has some non-binary feels (she/they last I heard) is like “I include you in queer” and reassured me all the time that pride is for me. I honestly don’t even know my romanticity at this point or if I’m capable of developing sexual attraction to women or non-binary or agender folk, because I’ve never tried to develop that connection. I’ve been with my spouse for 12 years, since I was 17. I never really explored that part of me, and I while I kinda want to know for my own knowledge, I’m really happy and fulfilled in my marriage and I’m not like, “tempted to explore and find out.” More so, I just realized recently that I honestly don’t know, and that feels also a little weird as I’m approaching 30. But yeah, having my best friend’s inclusion makes me feel more secure or valid or whatever. I’m more comfortable wearing my pride colors and generally calling myself ace spec too.

Anyway, I’m sure I’m overthinking the gender thing. When I shared the demigirl thing with my best friend when I first found, her response was like, if it feels like you then great, use whatever words and terms and pronouns you feel matches. I just sent them a message (she’s hopefully asleep) about it too. First person I officially told about it. Idk how I feel about vocally identifying as demigirl and she/they in anything other than an online game and to my best friend… and I guess here too but idk. I think I’m just worried that I’m starting to take up a space not meant for me. Idk.

[luimagines]

From Dusk to Dawn (400 follower special!)

The winner this time is @anti-gravity-8

They chose for an insert where Reader met Twi during his adventure and then he leaves for LU and Reader is left behind without knowing what happens to him. I got to write the reunion.

Masterlist

Content under the cut!

When you had first met each other you didn’t know what you were getting into. A cute boy, a magical friend and a purpose to save the world. That’s a pretty tall order from someone who never held a weapon, let alone leave their house before, in their life.

But that was part of the beauty though, wasn’t it? That the friendship you created and cried over was genuine. It was real. As well as your ever loving devotion to the Hero named Link.

It felt so stupid. You fell so quickly. His charming personality, his tender demeanor and how he dealt with everybody we came across struck you right where it counted. Your heart would always begin to beat erratically and there was always the thought of being too obvious when you feared he would get too close.

And then there was the way he treated you too.

He was caring. Attentive. Your whole body swooned when he so much as tucked your hair behind your hair and took a little bit of leaf out of it.

You had it bad.

When the journey was over and Midna had left, you realized you had nowhere else to go. And well… like the caring boy you knew him to be, he offered you sanctuary in his village. You helped around with what you could and had to learn many new skills in order to earn your keep. But the work was fulfilling and the people were kind enough to be patient with you.

Life was slowly carving out a routine for you. A lifestyle where you could be comfortable and satisfied.

And then Link went missing.

Of course you didn’t want to dissolve into a panic right away. While the village people seemed a bit perplexed by his sudden disappearance, no one else wanted to believe that something had happened. After the third day though, they sent out search parties.

They didn’t find him.

A part of you knew he was alive though. It was just a wonder that he didn’t bother to say anything. This more hopeful and optimistic part of you was tainted by something more sinister, especially knowing what you had just recently returned from. He could hurt. He could need help. He could be somewhere else entirely.

You tried to visit his home. The first visit was when you realized that he had found something. The place was ransacked. Like a tornado went through with little regard for sentimental value.

With tears and quiet sobs, you cleaned it up. You noticed that Link;s gear was gone. And then you knew… he found something. Either it was something to dangerous to let any know and try to follow him or he was so stupidly impulsive that he just gunned it and didn’t even think about the people here who cared about his safety.

It could have been a bit of both for all you knew. But that didn’t take away the pain from the thought of it.

Still, on the off chance he would come home any day, you took it upon yourself to make sure his home stayed lived in. You cleaned everything. The shelves needed dusting, Link left dirty laundry in his hamper, there were dishes that needed to be cleaned and put away. Someone had to do it and if it took any longer mold could begin to settle and you refused to let that happen to your friend!

Because even if that was all you were despite your yearning, he deserved a clean home and not rest from his journey when he came back. You could take care of it. It was almost therapeutic. And with each new section of the house that you manage to deep clean, it was looking better and better. And you began to feel a little better too.

In fact, you were excited for when he came home to see all your work! Whatever darkness had taken root in your optimism was blinded and burnt out. Link would be back. And he would be happy to actually live in a clean and nice place. This boy knew no organization, honestly.

You were actually sweeping the part of his balcony free of the fallen leaves when you heard some familiar cries. The children were excited about something. You paused your work and looked to the horizon.

The children came in with a group of people you’ve never seen before. But they were laughing and screaming and loud and hanging off of someone who looked familiar.

You nearly threw yourself off of the railing. “LINK!”

He sees you and also screams your name. “Be careful! What are you doing up there?”

He takes off running toward his house and you can’t help but you feel like you’re flying. You throw yourself back into the house getting down as fast as your feet can carry you. You manage to throw open the door right as he gets there.

You collide with more force than you both anticipate. Link wraps his arms around your waist while yours go around his neck and he has to spin you both to keep from falling and crushing you.

You manage to stay on your feet.

You pull back and jokingly choke him. “You scared the ever living daylights out of me!”

You jump up to hug him tighter and hide your face in the crook of his neck. “I missed you. I was worried about you, idiot. You just vanished! We looked everywhere for you!”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Link’s voice goes soft. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

You pull back and sigh. “Well you’re home now, you’re safe and-” You see that he has some bandages under his tunic and your eyes widen. They’re red. “You’re hurt!”

Link shakes his head. “Nothing too bad. It’s just a scratch, really.“

“Link, you ` me-”

“I know.”

“I could have helped-”

“I know.”

“I was worried sick this entire time!”

“I know.��

“Why didn’t you take me with you?” You say, trying to get a different answer out of him. He looks guilty and suddenly has a hard time looking you in the eye.

He gulps a bit and looks at his shoes. His hand rests on the wound that he had received while away and your heart breaks. “...I didn’t want to”

“Link, for crying out loud!” You cry. Because what kind of an answer was that? “Weren’t we a team? What happened to that?”

Link’s face finally snaps back to look at you properly. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean.. I just…”

“What?” You start to plead. “Tell me. Did I do something wrong?”

“No.” Link’s eyes sharpen in a way that you haven’t seen directed at you before. Your heart skips a beat and you forget how to breathe. “You didn’t. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to drag you into any more trouble.”

“You self sacrificing idiot!” Your hands come up to cover your face. The long reality of his absence and the pressure that it’s been weighing on you finally hits. All the emotions that you wanted to hold down and keep secret start to overrun your system.

You start to cry.

“I should hit you.” You say. “You’re awful. I was so worried. I was so scared. I never heard anything from you. You promised me-”

Panicked and concerned, Link gathers you up in his arms and starts trying to soothe away your tears. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to drag you into any more trouble.”

“We were a team.” You stress.

“I just… couldn’t. I couldn’t think of you getting hurt or your reaction to me getting hurt.”

You sniffle and hug him tightly. “You coward.”

“I am.” Link speaks softly again. “I was afraid of how much it would hurt to see it. I couldn’t let it happen. I didn’t want you to know. I was afraid you’d follow me.”

“You’re a jerk.” You whine. “I would have.”

Link snorts. 

You pout and pull away. “It’s hardly my fault.”  You rub your eyes and try to clean up the damage. “I love you. If there’s something I can do to help you I wouldn’t hesitate.”

Link steps close to you again and moves your hands. Gently, he cleans up your tears with his fingers and brushes your hair out of your face. “Do you mean it?”

“What more do I have to do to prove it to you?” You can feel your emotions start to get the better of you again. “I was here the whole time just hoping for a sign that you were ok. All I could do was take care of the house until you came back.”

Link leans in suddenly and kisses your forehead, tilting ever so slightly to kiss your temple, then your cheek. He’s a bit breathless when he speaks again. It’s quiet and if it weren’t for the fact that he would be by your ear, you would doubt that you would have heard him. “I love you too. That's why I couldn’t risk it.”

You collapse against him and he’s quick to catch you. “I want every detail.”

“Ok.”

“You better not leave anything out.”

“Ok.”

“Link, I’m serious. No sugar coating.”

“Ok.” He laughs and picks you up. “Thank you for looking after the place.”

“Anytime.” You kiss his cheek back since he kissed you. It’s only fair.

“Are we chopped liver over here?” A new voice calls out. “Just kiss and make up!”

Link growls in the way he’s prone to do when he’s annoyed. You laugh and hide yourself against him. He turns around and gestures something to the others that you had completely forgotten about.

“Are you married?” A young voice asks.

Link groans. “No. I knew them on my own adventure.”

You introduce yourself and wipe your hands on your pants. You clean up the last of your tears and put on your brightest and bravest smile. “It’s nice to meet all of you. Thank you for bringing Link back home safely.”

“Maybe not married now.” Someone whispers. “But I’m willing to bet they’d tie the knot after this.”

“Legend!” Link cries. “I will fight you. Shut up.”

The children from the village laugh and you can feel the heat crawl on your face. Even if Link leaves again they’re never going to let it go. It’s fine, you think as you cradle the cheek he kissed earlier. Link is back and he’s ok and he kissed you.

It’ll be worth the embarrassment later.