#this would be too real if i used soukoku

[yumaisbored]

you ship Fyolai? well I ship the authors Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky and Nikolai Vasilievich Gogol. we are not the same.

[xlillyle]

"We can delay the mission for another two minutes."

[bluemooniegif]

Soukoku's first meeting could not have been written more perfectly. Allow me to explain

A quick note on the manga panels: these are fan translations from BSD Bibliophile. At one stage they refer to Dazai as 'the youngest boss in Mafia history,' and the executive meeting as 'a meeting of five bosses.' This is just a stylistic choice! All of the panels shown here are from chapters 8 (volume 2), 10 & 11 (volume 3)

I love this scene more than life itself, because it is literally the PERFECT introduction to Chuuya, his character, and his relationship with Dazai. Let's talk about it!

First: some context. Dazai seems to be in a bit of a predicament- he's walked right into a trap set by the Port Mafia, an organisation that we don't know much about at this stage in the story. What we do know, and what we can observe, is this:

Dazai is a former executive, and appears to have walked into the trap on purpose

He is now being held in a room that Akutagawa describes very negatively- the fact of being here is dangerous

Dazai reveals that Akutagawa was once his subordinate, and that he thought very lowly of him at the time. He claims to still think of him this way. Akutagawa has a violent reaction to this.

This is a PERFECT example of 'showing, not telling' within a story. Rather than making a bunch of asides, describing what Dazai and Akutagawa are feeling and why, Asagiri & Harukawa have plopped us into the middle of a rather awkward reunion. I feel like I've walked into my friend's Christmas dinner and am now witnessing family politics unfold real time. It's like watching a car crash.

Now, we move between settings a bit, jumping around to watch Yosano DESTROY Kajii, Atsushi rescue Kyouka, and subsequently be injured and kidnapped by Akutagawa. We watch the Agency fall into disarray when Fukuzawa demands that everyone go looking for Atsushi- interesting, considering that Dazai is IN THE BASEMENT OF THE PORT MAFIA RIGHT NOW.

I've had lots of discussions and arguments about the meaning and significance of this. I won't delve too deep into it for now, but the way I see it is this: something the ADA is really REALLY good at is splitting up Mystery-Inc. style and working to solve cases etc., together, but apart. Dazai is also something of a stray dog (... cat), regularly wandering off and reappearing of his own accord. He's been with the ADA for several years at this point, and they would understand the way he operates well. Even if there's no indication whether he explicitly told anyone what he's doing or where he's going (which honestly, does that matter, when Ranpo would know immediately anyway?), we can safely assume that this is more or less a regular thing for them.

Anyway, back to the point. the Agency is not fazed by Dazai's disappearance... and neither, for some reason, is Dazai. He stands chained to the wall in the PM's basement- the same one, we discover later, where he's brutally tortured countless victims and traitors, and he's humming a little tune to himself, smiling, totally relaxed. We as the audience know he's pretty unflappable, and Akutagawa's expression when he sees him confirms this, too.

But. BUT. This doesn't last.

With the ADA descending into chaos, we switch perspectives back to Dazai again. He's bored at this stage, and thinking to himself that they must be searching for Atsushi soon (an indication that he was riling Akutagawa up earlier, btw) when he hears it: A voice that makes his resolve crack. A look of panic on his face that, at this stage, we haven't seen yet.

He turns, and we see Chuuya for the first time! He's got this strange smug look on his face, something deeply vindictive. Here's a current mafia executive, and he's so happy to see Dazai chained to the wall of their Torture Basement that you can't help but wonder... is there something that Dazai did to him, personally, that makes him feel this way? Or is this guy just so deeply involved with the PM that the fact Dazai left is like a personal slight against him?

Now, we don't really have long enough to truly panic over this predicament, because almost immediately these two fall into their old habits. Dazai isn't PLEASED, but he isn't afraid. He goes right into bantering with Chuuya, who surprisingly meets him right in the middle. Their regular dynamic shines right through: it's quick-witted quips, inside jokes, and knowing looks. It's this odd relaxation in their posture. In all of this, we have an acknowledgement of what they were, and evidence to suggest that they still are... whatever that thing is. Whatever you wanna call it: partners, boyfriends, best friends, buddies. That much is up to interpretation; the only undeniable fact is that they once knew each other better than themselves, and still do.

Then, the fight. This, to me, comes across as more of a way to display how powerful they both are individually: Chuuya punches concrete so hard it shatters in several places, Dazai snaps his fingers and breaks out of handcuffs.

We have front-row seats to what is in my opinion one of the best action sequences in early BSD, not just for what physically transpires, but what it tells us: they deeply understand each other on multiple levels. They're constantly predicting each other's moves, and they know where each other's weak spots are.

But there's also been a lot of growth. Dazai surprises Chuuya a few times, and vice-versa. Despite their apparent closeness, it's still clear that they haven't been together like this for a long, long time.

Then, they reach checkmate. It appears as though Chuuya has won, and we're fed some more Dazai lore- he was the youngest executive the PM ever saw.

This is how Chuuya remembers Dazai. Again, I want to remind you that this is the first time so far we're seeing PM-zai, and he is worlds away from the Dazai we've grown to know so far.

Though Chuuya seems to have driven Dazai into a corner, the roles are quickly reversed when Dazai claims to know something about a meeting between all five of the Mafia's executives. Chuuya quickly realises this is one of his 'predictions,' further proving the depth of their mutual understanding.

With hindsight, we know just how big a deal a meeting of this scale is, and knowing a certain stormbro (who I won't reveal just in case of spoilers) will be there makes me lose my mind, personally. It clearly affects Chuuya, as well, which was undoubtedly Dazai's goal.

With the power balance disrupted again, they quickly fall back into that same bantering dynamic. The volatile nature of their relationship is so perfectly portrayed within this short scene that it actually makes me sick, I genuinely don't think it could have been more perfect

Anyway. Chuuya has realised, at this stage, that Dazai had multiple goals when he allowed himself to be kidnapped, and one of those was to piss Chuuya off (which is something I think he could've managed even if Chuuya wasn't physically there). This, in turn, pisses Chuuya off, especially when he realises the predicament Dazai has left him in- let him escape, or the Mafia suffers. A test of loyalty, Chuuya's greatest weakness. Do you understand why I am tearing my hair out and howling at the moon??? This is fucking insanity.

And then, the final moment! The part we all know and love! Not only does Chuuya choose to err on the side of caution, allowing Dazai to escape- he also leaves with the repetition of another inside joke. And Dazai laughs- he looks genuinely happy, too.

That is all. I'm gonna go cry now ಥ_ಥ

read this original thread on twitter

[chuuyasfanboy]

Just had some random thoughts so pulled up an old blog I never used and am now deciding to write fics! I've had this stuck in my head for two days now but like- Skk as parents... enjoy <3

Wrote three sections! One with Chuuya, one with Dazai, and ofc them together. It can be read from either adopted or blood perspective, I hope? Kind of scattered, I was just goin for it guys

Iffff you liked this, please req something! I'm having major bsd brainrot and I need ideas...

Soukoku as Parents Platonic x Gn!Child!Reader

┌──────┐

└──────┘

The SILLIEST father EVER guys.

For actual years he was fully under the impression he HATED all kids with a passion. I mean guys look at how badly he treated Aku-

Well then he had you and things changed

It's just something about you being his kid, not a subordinate or random kid on the street

He's your dedicated apologist

In fact, he encourages your mischief!

When you were younger, it was a lot harder to handle you. He even found himself on his last fuse sometimes. Usually, he left Atsushi or Yosano to deal with you

He didn't want to revert to old habits and accidentally traumatize you :(

When he can handle himself, though, he's only halfway controlling you-

He's right along with you in the heinous activities half of the time

Hiding Ranpo's candy (for as long as it lasts), misplacing Kunikida's glasses, hell you two have probably snuck into the infirmary and changed the sheets to something very colorful and very childishly wolf themed...

He's not really a mature dad, nonono. But he's doing his best

He fully supports all of your wildest interests, even tries out some of the more entertaining ones

He struggles to act excited when you're younger and all your interests are very out of his range, but as you grow older he's actually a bit intrigued by them sometimes

Best birthday gift ideas, too. He's very creative when he wants to be.

He also has way more money than he should be ALLOWED to have

For your Sweet Sixteen, he most definitely got you an obsessively large custom pinata of your favorite character...

He makes sure EVERYBODY gets you gifts, because you are his world and thus you must be everybody else's as well

He really does try to keep you out of work, and especially away from his suicide biz

Maybe HE doesnt have a reason to live, but he certainly doesnt want you picking up those thoughts, because he knows you have a real big destiny to live up to someday

I mean, what would the world be without you?

When you hit the age of 13 though, its really hard to hide anything from you

You're so scary when you grow up! And you're way too smart!!4

Did you get that from him? oops...

Now, he doesnt have any plans of living that long, but if you do grow big and strong and smart one day, and you join the ADA, he's definitely got some favoritism.

Surprisingly, Fukuzawa actually gives you your first few proper missions with him

(Because he knows Dazai will not be letting any harm come to you, he trusts Dazai with his life and he knows you trust Dazai even more)

If you have different plans for adulthood though, he's still so supportive

If you go to uni, you're going to have to show him off

Why?

Because, guys, he's a dilf

Nobody's gonna be mean to the kid with a dilf father, they all want him

He jokes about it constantly

But rest assured, stupid and immature uni kids are NOT his type, no matter how nice the ones his age look

He's got his eyes set on that waitress and at least four other men at the moment

If you go straight into the workplace instead of uni, he's going to use his connections to get you a good job early!

Fukuzawa has a good way with words and Dazai himself is a pretty good reference contact

Just tell them he's your teacher, or something

It's not like they'll know his hobbies, he's wayyyy too big a mystery for that

Overall: 7/10 dad

A little rough around the edges, but he's trying hard to improve himself for you

And he's trying hard to give you the best life he can offer

┌──────┐

└──────┘

Did I say Dazai was a dilf?

I lied out of my ass.

Chuuya is the real dilf here

But we'll get to that later! (Just know he has plenty of men and women at his feet and they're definitely being way too nice to you because they want him so bad guys)

You're SO SO SO SO spoiled.

UNREASONABLY so

So bad you might even be a little bit of a brat growing up

It's fine, not toward him, he almost never says no to you so theres no need

There's absolutely no amount of money that can't be spent on you.

Luxury clothes, professionally cooked dinners, fancy rooms, home staff, the whole works

Despite all that though, he's insistent you go to a public/private school

He's not tutoring you, wont even hire one

It's not because he CAN'T, it's because he KNOWS how important it is for you to get your sense of independence early

Sure, you'll always have financial support, even if he dies (Trust fund babyyyyy)

But thats not what's actually important to your future

You need social skills, you need friends, you need and education and the taste of disappointment

Dont worry, though, he's not sending you unprepared

You're not eating school lunches unless you want to (but fuck why would you?)

He's sending you to school with top notch food every day

And clothes

And supplies

Plus, you'll have a tutor at the ready for anything you need a little extra help in

But for the most part he keeps as far as he can out of that section of your life

You friends are yours, not his

He's polite when they have sleepovers, and he's more than willing to host parties and hangouts

But he doesn't try too hard to impress them, and he doesn't talk to them unless its related to you

Because as much as he loves being around kids (a real big father he wants to adopt everybody he sees)

He doesn't want to impose on any boundaries YOU may have

As a side note though, he's still very observant of your relationships with them

If he overhears any manipulation, or shit talking (about you or not), he's not going to let it sit and exist

If it comes to it, he will contact the parents (And holy fuck they are TERRIFIED i mean imagine a publicly known MAFIA EXECUTIVE contacting you to tell your kid fucked with his ABSOLUTELY NOT GUYS)

If you're into any extracurriculars, he is ALWAYS there

Even if he's overseas on a mission, he has some lower rank attend and clears his schedule so he can watch through a call

Also guys, he practically funds your school?

Your teachers are terrified to cross you because if they do there will be NO SALARY

You complain about anything that happened? He's fixing it up in any way he can

You are his ANGEL, NOTHING will ruin your day as long as he can prevent it.

When you grow up, your options are very clear in his eyes

Either you go to uni and live independent of the mafia, or you inherit his spot when he dies

If you go for neither, he may be a bit shocked, but he'll hesitantly step back

He'll see how it goes, but he's not very confident at first

If it goes well? Fuck, great! He's always in your corner rooting for you

If it doesn't go so well, you always have him as a backup

He'll always be there to take you back with open arms and give you a second, third, fourth, fifth, etc chance. Always

If you do join the mafia, there will be no low rank experience for you

You're straight to the upper ranks. At first, you'll probably be in a position similar to Akutagawa under Dazai or how he was under Koyo

Direct subordinate, his apprentice, his prodigy

And when he dies, you're next in line for his exec spot

There's not even a worry about your skillset, he knows he's trained you well, ability or no ability.

Finally, back to the dilf topic I've mentioned at the beginning

If you go to uni, he has the same problem Dazai had, but WORSE

Fuck guys, he swears he tries to keep out of your friendships, but suddenly everyone's adults and they wont leave him alone.

It's at this point he stops hosting your events (except birthdays) and separates himself

No way is he getting involved with crazy college kids, no way

Overall: 9/10 father

He's a bit absent in your social circle, but he's your dad and thats that

He screams support from the stands and that's really the best you can ask for in a dad <3

┌──────┐

└──────┘

theyre so pathetic together-

theyre all the entertainment you need growing up

constant bickering (lovingly)

they dont involve you in all that

it comes with them both being in seperate factions, but they BOTH work very hard to keep you out of the professional lives

you're their kid, they dont want you in any of the doublesided danger that could get you in

you're probably a secret to everyone except the ADA and the other mafia

And your existence is on a need-to-know basis for everybody else

Dazai is the more present figure in your life, simply because Chuuya has to be a bit more distant

It's the nature of his line of work, anyone he's seen with is a target, and he doesn't want that to be you

He will be at your schooling events still, though. He will be YELLING AND SHOUTING in the stands

Into sports? Every time theres an unfair play he will cuss the living daylights out of the ref

And they just have to let him because theres nothing they can really do about

Dazais the same way, but with less scare factor and way less vigor

After games, he's going to complain WITH you about how lame the whole thing was if you lost, how everything was judged unfairly

They may not get along the best together, but they love each other and especially love you, so they're improving for you

Read: Chuuya is making them improve for you

Dazai thinks hes the victim in all this!

But oh well, if Chuuya makes him apologize when they argue in front of you, he will

When you're all grown up, they both encourage you to find your own path

You've got the chance, thanks to them, and they dont want you involved in their little wars

It's not like you can join any sides, because who would want to be against your dad :(

So really your only choice is moving out, maybe even away-

If you really do want into their business, they both insist you join the ADA

It's safer there for you, and Chuuya would rather have to order his men to not under any circumstances EVER hurt you, than have to watch someone he can't control put you in danger

Plus, he knows Dazai will keep you in the safest position possible

Overall: 7/10 together

They're a nightmare at dinner, and Dazai is sleeping on the couch almost every night

But they adore you and every move you make, so there's no way you're feeling unloved at all

[xiaosonlybeloved]

They'd be alright~ Soukoku

featuring:- Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya, briefly- Fyodor, Yosano warnings:- angst, hurt no comfort, implied major character death a/n:- wheee im back from the dead with a random angst idea for my most beloved couple <3 this was written based off the events of ch 114.5 of the manga, so beware of spoilers for fyodor's ability anyways enjoy hehe <333

wc:-1.2k || masterlists

Chuuya takes deep, exhausted breaths as he looks at the defeated form of the tripolar singularity. Verlaine is right beside him, as are Atsushi and Akutagawa. ‘We actually defeated it, huh?’ Chuuya thought, tired. There were honestly moments when he thought they wouldn’t be able to do it, but the others had his back. And he had theirs.

However, his musings are cast aside immediately when he hears a cry resound from somewhere behind. Where Dazai is.

‘Shit, dammit!’ he cursed for forgetting for even a moment as he ran towards the brunette, who was hunched on his knees near a body. It was Fyodor’s body, unmoving, face distorted the way it had been for his other body in Mersault. And lines of blue light emanated from Dazai, the way they did when he used his ability. Chuuya had a fair idea of what was happening, Dazai had warned him about this when he had hastily told him the plan he made. Chuuya didn’t like it, not one bit, but it was the only option. It was either that, or the whole of Yokohama would be destroyed, and maybe more too. 

He carefully knelt down in front of Dazai, taking hold of both his hands in his own. He felt his own ability getting nullified, but he didn’t care. Dazai’s eyes were squeezed shut, face contorted in agony. “Oi Dazai, I’m here. Can you hear me?” He only get the barest of nods as a response, but that was enough. 

Atsushi and Akutagawa had run over to him by then. “What’s happening to Dazai-san?” The weretiger asked in a panic. Chuuya began to explain as calmly as he could. “He should be alright soon… As you know, Fyodor’s ability allows him to occupy the body of whoever kills him. But since Dazai is an ability nullifier, Fyodor should be unable to get resurrected in him. Right now, I think his ability is actively trying to expel Fyodor. His ability is absolute, there are no exceptions-” Dazai’s eyes shot open.

Except that they weren’t Dazai’s. They were Fyodor’s, coupled with his smug grin.

Fear gripped his heart in an ice-cold hold. It wasn’t possible. It shouldn’t be possible. 

The face of the man in front of him flickered back to being Dazai, scrunched in torment, and Chuuya exhaled in relief. 

It’s as if the two geniuses were fighting for control. Fyodor’s face flickered again, now worried. Dazai’s body was still radiating his ability. A minute passed. His face flickered a few more times. Another agonisingly long minute. Dazai stayed as Dazai. Then finally, finally, his ability’s flare up receded, the blue light slowly disappearing.

The man in front of him was still Dazai. Not Fyodor. His ability was also still being nullified to serve as further proof. That Dazai really had defeated Fyodor, both physically and mentally. The brunette took several deep breaths to ground himself, looking as weary as he felt, before he slowly blinked a few times. “...He’s gone?” 

A wide smile broke out on Chuuya’s face, the (short-lived) relief filling him, his own exhaustion vanishing for the moment. Yes, he was relieved about his ex-partner being alive, despite everything that happened, what about it? Even more surprising, he does something he’s rarely done before- He hugs Dazai. Gently, but still in a firm hold. “Yes, Dazai. Fyodor’s gone, for real. You defeated him. I’m so proud of you, mackerel.” 

“And the singularity?” He asks weakly, and Chuuya responds, “Done and dusted, don’t worry about it idiot.” He knows that Dazai can see Atsushi and Akutagawa behind him, both of whom are muttering incoherent sentences that sound reassured and thankful. Fukuzawa has also come over. He’s scolding Dazai for being so reckless with his life and doing stuff without telling any of them, but they all can hear the undertone of relief that he’s still alive. He knows that the annoying blonde and that annoyingly smug detective would be fussing over Dazai too if they were awake. Too bad they’d been knocked out by the blast from the tripolar singularity.

“Thank goodness” he muttered, then gave them all a small smile. Chuuya couldn’t help but be struck by how genuine it was. 

Yeah, they were going to be alright. Maybe not immediately, but they’d get there.

Dazai blinks slowly at them. He himself sounds a bit surprised as he says, “Oh.. sorry.” Confused, Chuuya starts to reply, “Huh? What for-”

Dazai collapses into Chuuya’s arms, motionless. (Chuuya refuses to acknowledge that for some reason, Dazai’s skin feels even colder than it usually is.)

His eyes widen as panic instantly claws its way up his throat. “Dazai? What the hell Dazai?” He’s shaking Dazai now, to no response. Someone is running towards them from a distance, but Chuuya can’t care to identify her as the Agency doctor. “Osamu, answer me, dammit!” Something in his gut tells him to press his hands to Dazai’s wrist, anxiously searching. Yosano has reached them, ordering the few panicked people awake and crowded around them to move.

Chuuya feels nothing from Dazai. Just an inexplicable coldness, growing, in contrast to his white-hot fear. (It could be explained, but he didn’t want the explanation.) 

Everything feels too silent and loud at the same time. He’s still holding tightly onto Dazai, refusing to let him go. (‘Please, god.’ he prays silently, begging. He’s never been much of a believer, but he still prays, desperate. ‘Please, don’t take him from me too. Not him.’) He doesn’t register anything until he feels his hands roughly dragged away from Dazai’s by a firm hold. A doctor’s hold. Someone was talking to him.

“-uuya, I need you to let go of him.” “No. Never.” he mumbles, voice cracking. Yosano kneels down beside him and the motionless body in his arms. There’s urgency in his eyes. “Chuuya, he can still be saved. His heart can be restarted. There is plenty of medical equipment inside the airport, we need to get him there and then move him to a better hospital. If you don’t let go of him right now, you’ll need to let go of him forever.” Her words are the harsh truth, and they cause him to loosen his hold on Dazai, still staring at the closed eyes and unmoving face framed by brown. (The thought of losing him forever was something Chuuya couldn’t bear to entertain. Not now, after so much had happened.)

He numbly lets Yosano take Dazai, getting up to follow her into the airport. Because there was no way in hell he was letting her take Dazai anywhere without him. He needed to be with him, make sure he was alright. He still had a debt to repay the bandaged mackerel after all. 

But a small, cruel part of his mind incessantly whispered, replaying Dazai’s mumbled apology, the way he seemed almost resigned when he said that, the way he slumped into Chuuya’s hold. 

That terribly cruel part of him told him that he couldn’t do anything. That he had already lost Dazai.

That he was too late.

gods writing this killed me can you tell im devastated by ch 114.5 anyways votes reblogs and comments r very appreciated and do yall want a part two to this :D

[cloudysonder]

15! mafia! soukoku getting together before 5 years of tension challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

ok so I don't think I need another WIP on my plate but i can't stop thinking about them so I'm gonna write a hella long fic outline for a hypothetical fic I might've written in a different timeline

This is a half canon compliant half Chuuya leaves the mafia with Dazai AU, with a focus on their powers + how it affects them

Chuuya struggles with his identity and his agency bc of Arahabaki sharing his body, and combats it by trying to be as kind and giving as possible-- it's a way of proving to himself that these decisions are his, not Arahabaki's, because Arahabaki would never choose to be kind. As a result, he gives himself to others too easily, creating a tension of giving up agency/identity in order to prove that he has agency/identity

he does this with the sheep and then with the port mafia, where he eventually meets dazai

dead apple happens

Chuuya thinks the guy is actually the biggest asshole maybe in the universe, but begrudgingly accepts that his power is very useful and they make a good team (you would have to actually waterboard this out of him)

Dazai deems Chuuya his dog, and when Chuuya gets pissed and keeps pestering him abt how patronizing it is, Dazai responds lightly, as if he's saying that the sky is blue,

"Oh please. You were a dog long before I called you one--" Dazai doesn't even bother having the decency to look at Chuuya before ripping his life apart. "--eager to be on a leash and be taken on walks if it meant that it pissed off the wolf inside you. I just have the manners to actually call it a leash."

it isn't the first nor the last time that chuuya wants to kill him, but he can't deny Dazai's right (he usually is, infuriatingly)

He still hits him with a boulder

they build up trust over multiple months-- Dazai begins to believe in Chuuya's competence and skill (enough to relax on missions, because chuuya will take care of things, chuuya will catch the things I miss, and chuuya will catch me if I fall), and Chuuya will follow whatever order Dazai gives, no questions asked (He never steers chuuya wrong, never betrays him in a way that matters, never hurts him in a way that lasts-- usually people would've by now, but not Dazai-- he just annoys him and pranks him and thrashes him in video games, casually saying things about chuuya that are so on the nose that chuuya doesn't feel seen through, but seen)

chuuya goes on a mission that he's supposed to lead himself, and dazai tags along bc he's "on vacation" (healing from broken bones) and bored and knows that chuuya wouldn't let him get more hurt

there's a critical point in the mission where chuuya has to make a decision-- either to jump into the battle and hurt himself to save his subordinates, even if it means the mission wouldn't be completed successfully, or to let them die, guaranteeing success

He doesn't know what Arahabaki would choose, and he's terrified of choosing the same option it would-- he doesn't want to think that he's slowly turning into Arahabaki, that Chuuya one day will be no longer--

Dazai knows. Dazai always knows.

A warm hand envelops his.

The familiar shiver of No Longer Human blankets over him.

"It's your choice, Chuuya." Dazai is looking directly at him, serious for once. "No one else is here now."

And Chuuya, simple, stupid Chuuya, feels the tension he's known his whole life leave him completely-- and what was left?

Oh.

The sun catches on Dazai's brown hair, beautiful even dusted with concrete powder and dried blood--

Fuck.

His hand is warm, his body is still, so trusting, his eyes are unblinking, so knowing--

And Chuuya falls irreversibly in love.

There's no real hiding it from Dazai (nor is there really a "normal" way that Chuuya can act anymore, knowing that he had the capacity, the capability for love)-- Chuuya tries for a while, but Dazai keeps staring at him with calculating eyes, suspicious and uncomfortable with whatever Chuuya is hiding from him

He pesters Chuuya constantly, making infuriating guesses about crushes (fucking Mori??? Chuuya wanted to kill Dazai for even suggesting it) and Chuuya's had enough of trying to escape who he is (which his feelings are tied to, unfortunately)

So, slowly, he lets himself show the affection he wants to-- a brush of hands, a hold on Dazai that's a little too tight when they lean on each other, a patching up of wounds that's a little gentler, a dinner of crab soup and rice that he took hours to learn how to cook---

Dazai stops pestering Chuuya pretty quickly after that

(He also never pulls away when Chuuya presses in, never comments on it, acts as if he doesn't know and doesn't care, and Chuuya finds some twisted sort of relief in that)

He's also become fiercely protective of Dazai, working thrice as hard so that he never sustains a single injury bigger than a scratch

"Wow---, why's my dog so easily riled up recently?" (they both know why)

Dazai is his to protect, but his in no other way. Chuuya knows that. He turns away when he flirts with pretty girls and gives them his number, and still admonishes him with the same tone he always does when he fucks around with women instead of doing his job

Chuuya genuinely shrugs it off— he doesn't love Dazai for it to be returned— it's just a fact in his life— his hair is red, his eyes are blue, he loves Dazai. Fin. He doesn't need to be in a relationship with him, he doesn't need to own him, he just wants to keep Dazai safe, and make him happy where he can

Dazai, meanwhile, is actually having a conniption— He figured out that Chuuya had a crush on him pretty quickly, but he's the most lost he's ever been in his life

He's never been loved so gently before, so carefully, as if he's a unique existence and intrinsically worthy of love-- Chuuya doesn't use him, doesn't expect anything of him, just keeps giving giving giving giving

Fact: Dazai has always been useful. Fact: Dazai has always been desirable, but in a way that seems dangerous. Fact: Every person who's ever held desire for him seemed to want something in return, as payment for the chore of liking him.

He annoys Chuuya more than anyone he's ever met, and yet Chuuya never treats taking care of him as a chore. He looks into Chuuya's eyes, sees a strange sort of pride, of gratefulness for relying on him, of joy just from the act of indulging him--

He asks nothing of Dazai, nothing, content to hold his hand firmly while Dazai's remains limp, asking nothing nothing nothing, backing off the second Dazai starts to squirm (though, sometimes, Dazai was just adjusting his posture on the couch, he wasn't pulling away— but he'd rather die before he asked the dumb little garden gnome to put his head on his shoulder again)

Dazai has never been more confused in his life. He's only sure of three things: 1) that Chuuya’s affection is genuine, 2) that it is far too good for him, which is a shame because 3) he'll never be able to return it.

Months pass in this limbo state— Chuuya backs off the second Dazai shows Any sign of being uncomfortable (he isn’t, he never was, but he’s confused by the frustration that wells up inside whenever Chuuya mistakes one of his random movements as resistance, pulling away, leaving Dazai oddly lonel—)

They usually don’t get hurt on missions— in all visible aspects, they’re perfect partners; Dazai’s plans don’t fail, and Chuuya never disappoints

But Mori thinks they’ve been a little too full of themselves recently, that they might benefit from a little humility, so he sends them straight into a trap

Chuuya drinks water from a safehouse that Mori arranged to have drugged

His vision goes blurry, fast

He tugs at Dazai, who’s keeping guard, blinking rapidly

“What, slug? Have you forgotten how sleeping works—“

“Dazai,” he chokes out.

Dazai snaps into focus, scanning Chuuya immediately.

“What happened?” Dazai doesn’t understand why panic is rushing through his veins, watching his partner struggle for breath. “Chuuya, breathe—“

“Don’t,” he strangles out, the word barely a whisper. “Don’t drink the water, something’s—“ Chuuya’s body seizes.

“Chuuya!” Dazai grabs him by the shoulders, and he’s surprised by how terribly his own hands are shaking— he can’t lose him, he can’t lose him, not him, not him, he’s never felt this strongly about the possibility of loss before, but he can’t lose Chuuya, he Can’t lose Chuuya, not the warm hands that hold his own, not the soft hair that buries into his neck, not the way his body always seems to fall into his, utterly trusting, not him, please god, not him, not the boy who loves him— he knows he doesn’t love Chuuya back, but he can’t lose Chuuya—

He brings Chuuya to his chest, preparing to make him throw up—

A bullet tears through Dazai’s arm.

Another one, seconds later, through his leg.

Dazai hisses in pain, grabbing his gun from his pocket

He’s not the best sharpshooter in the mafia for nothing— he shoots into the distance and hears both bullets hit their marks— he’s listening for the sound of two bodies falling—

A third gunshot rings from behind, and Dazai isn’t going to be fast enough to dodge it in time, fuck, but he can shift so it hits some non critical part of his body—

Shaking arms shove him to the ground

Dazai thinks the sound of the bullet burying itself into Chuuya’s body is going to haunt him for the rest of his life.

Chuuya’s warm blood is soaking into his lap, and Dazai’s vision begins to turn red at the edges

He uses more bullets than necessary to kill the last sniper, shooting his hands first, then his legs, his arms, his shoulders— he doesn’t get the mercy of a quick death— he hopes he bleeds, just like Chuuya is now—

The helicopter would come to pick them up at the meeting point in a few hours— he just needed to last until then—

He treats Chuuya’s injuries the best he can, murmuring his name like a prayer, begging begging begging

He ignores his own pain— or, that’s not quite right— he doesn’t even register his own pain— his own wounds are nothing in the face of the possibility of Chuuya’s death, and adrenaline keeps his limp arms moving, his wobbly legs walking

The helicopter picks them up

On board, a doctor patches Chuuya up and assures Dazai the poison wasn’t lethal and that the shot didn’t hit any major organs

Upon hearing (his) Chuuya would be ok, all of Dazai’s muscles relax at once, and he passes out

Chuuya wakes up in the hospital first

Dazai is in a comatose state, recovering— he’d be fine, but it’s the worst he’s been injured since Chuuya was assigned to be his partner

Chuuya waits by his side, holding his hand, running his fingers through his hair, caressing his cheek with his hand

He heard from the doctors that Dazai insisted, hysterically, that the doctors treated Chuuya first, despite his own injuries worsening by the minute

“Fucking asshole,” Chuuya pinches Dazai’s cheek.

He doesn’t wake up

He wakes up a week later, blinking slowly into consciousness

Chuuya is sleeping beside him, resting his cheek in the palm of Dazai’s hand

His eye bags look horrendous, and his face is pale

He nudges him without meaning to

Chuuya wakes up immediately

“Dazai?” He rubs his eyes a few times, as if he was checking he was awake. A few blinks later, Chuuya’s entire face melts. “Fuck, Dazai.”

Dazai isn’t prepared for the armful of Chuuya that barrels into his chest, burying into his neck— oh, Chuuya is warm—

Chuuya begins pressing small kisses into his hair, into the skin between his ears and his neck, eventually moving to kissing him on the apples of his cheeks

Dazai’s heart is doing a weird flop in his chest— he sees Chuuya’s sapphire blue eyes shining with tears, feels his chapped lips against his face, and god, is it pathetic that this feels like the first time he’s ever really been alive?

“You scared the shit out of me—“ Chuuya’s voice is trembling. “Why the fuck would you make them treat me first— I was literally fine, you fucking dumbass bitch, and I heal fast, you know that, you’re the lanky brittle stick— you were in a fucking coma for like a week, do you even know how, how worried I was?”

Frozen as he is, Dazai stumbles out a “why?”

Chuuya glares at him.

“You know why.”

He does. He still doesn’t know why. But Chuuya is peppering kisses all over his face and murmuring reminders to himself about gauze changes and medicine and antibiotics, so Dazai just lets himself stop thinking for once—

He catches Chuuya glancing at his lips, and he waits for a kiss there, but it never comes.

“You missed a spot.”

Chuuya turns bright red (cute cute cute), and looks toward the wall, clearing his throat.

“You should save that kiss for someone you love, mackerel.” Chuuya sighs, the red beginning to leave his cheeks. His eyes lose a bit of light, and Dazai wants to shove his words back in his throat. “I wouldn’t— you’ve already, uh, let me do this much.” He rubs the back of his neck, uncomfortable, as he untangles himself from Dazai.

Dazai wants to throw something (when did he ask Chuuya to stop, why is Chuuya sitting back in the chair, why is Chuuya holding his own hands instead of his, come back come back come back).

But Dazai doesn’t say anything, and Chuuya starts milling around the hospital room, collecting his medication

Chuuya nurses him back to health

He doesn’t kiss Dazai again

More months pass

Chuuya still asks for nothing from Dazai, and Dazai is weirdly frustrated by it (Oda and Ango are tired of hearing about it— they insist that Dazai has, ew, Feelings for him, to which he responds, like a mature adult, “The only feelings I have for the amoeba are pity and disgust— he’s stupid, it’s all stupid! And I’m a genius, obviously, so this is all below me!” He mutters, under his breath, “Dumb Odasaku, stupid ango, thinking they know better than me”)

They’re at a high end mafia party

Chuuya looks absolutely dashing, as always

Dazai cleaned himself up just to watch Chuuya’s face turn red

Dazai’s fooling around with some girls, playing the games he always plays, and glances out of the corner of his eye

Dazai freezes.

A Port Mafia man is on his knees, his hand cradling Chuuya’s, his lips planted firmly on Chuuya’s knuckles

And Dazai feels like he’s boiling alive— he hasn’t even kissed Chuuya, and this, this GRUNT is DIRTYING his— Chuuya with his fucking disgusting mouth, and Chuuya’s skin is so soft and warm and smooth and Dazai should be the only one in the world who knows how it feels

Dazai storms up to him and snatches Chuuya’s hand away, replacing it with his own. He introduces himself, but his tone and his eyes are deadly.

They sit in a rare moment of silence on the way back

Chuuya looks weirdly happy

Dazai doesn’t want to wipe the look off his face, so he keeps his mouth shut for once, watching the moonlight catch in his partner’s red hair and blue eyes— he’s so beautiful, Dazai thinks, and he tries to burn the image of Chuuya’s smug smile into his retinas

Dazai follows Chuuya home

They fall back into their old childish teasing the second they collapse on the couch, wrestling and yelling between delirious laughter— that’s the thing about Chuuya, Dazai thinks, he makes Dazai feel like the kid he never got to be.

Chuuya wins a round, and Dazai wins a round, and though they hadn’t agreed on a bet or a reward, Dazai chirps, unable to stop himself, “Guess that means that I have to do something for you, and you have to do something for me! You know, to be fair!”

“Ok…” Chuuya is staring at him suspiciously, checking behind him for a hidden pillow or another similar weapon (which, rude! he would never cheat! Scout’s honor.)

Dazai’s eyes seem to be darting everywhere but Chuuya. “For Chuuya, hmm… I’ll stop flirting around with girls!”

Chuuya blinks at him, bewildered. “I don’t really mind— it’s not like—“

Dazai cuts him off (he doesn’t want to hear the end of the sentence, for some reason?), the next words rapidly stuttering from his mouth—“And in exchange, Chuuya’s not allowed to flirt with anyone, ok?”

A light seems to dawn in Chuuya’s eyes, and he bites his bottom lip, trying to keep down a laugh. “Ok, mackerel. Deal.”

“Good slug.”

Chuuya actually does laugh, this time. “Fuck off.”

Things are a little different, after that. Chuuya gets more confident— he invites Dazai over for movie nights where he falls asleep on his shoulder, he occasionally presses a chaste kiss atop Dazai’s bandages (as if he’s something worth loving, somehow), and they still wrestle and fight and prank each other, but it’s euphoric— it’s their communication, their reminder that the other is thinking of them.

Dazai is still the one on the receiving end of things, and he realizes Chuuya’s never gonna kiss him on the lips because of his stupid moral code that kisses should be loving and romantic from both sides, and well, Dazai doesn’t know about love or any of that other dumb stuff, but he wants to kiss Chuuya

Dazai stays over at Chuuya’s apartment more often than not, and one day, as Chuuya’s leaving for work (he always shows up a couple hours earlier than Dazai), Dazai gathers up the blankets and waddles over to him, still sleepy

“Chuuya?”

“Fuck off,” he replies out of habit more than anything else.

“Chuuyyuyuyaaaaa—“

“What?” He finally turns to Dazai, who seizes the opportunity to give him a kiss, licking Chuuya’s lips as he pulls away.

“Have a good day at work!” Dazai smiles against Chuuya’s lips.

Chuuya works through a couple of phases— shock, joy, all encompassing bigger than the universe giddiness, shock, hope, hope, hope

He watches Dazai waddle back to his bed and collapse in the middle of it, taking up both his side and Chuuya’s

Chuuya smiles all day

After Oda’s death, Chuuya is the first one to grab Dazai’s hand before he can drown.

Dazai has never doubted that Chuuya cared for him, that Chuuya loved him, and it’s so fucking affirming to be believed— to know that someone believes you’re human, through and through

So he hopes that Dazai would trust him to take the initiative here, to make a choice that would truly be a middle finger to Arahabaki, to let Dazai be the savior he already was to Chuuya

“Dazai,” He says, knowing what happened before Dazai says a word, seeing it in his grieving eyes, his miserable form (how dare people think he has no emotions, how dare them, how dare them). He grabs both of Dazai’s hands and pushes their foreheads together with enough force to be a headbutt. His smile is sharp, a little scared, but he’s sincere. “Let’s run away together.”

and they run away and never define their relationship completely, but they are partners, through and through

Chuuya wants agency and to be seen as human and to be trusted and believed, Dazai wants to trust someone to take care of him and to believe in someone’s care for him and sees Chuuya as utterly human

They complete each other, they trust each other unconditionally

Chuuya wakes up with a ring on his finger one day, and Dazai shrugs and says that it might make Chuuya’s side of the deal they made 4 years ago a little easier

Chuuya thinks this is very funny

Dazai wakes up the next morning with a matching ring on his finger

They never have a wedding— they don’t need to prove their partnership to anyone— and they can count the amount of times they’ve said “I love you” on one hand— that’s private, that’s theirs and no one else’s

They’re both part timers at the ADA (the ADA insisted; if they were both full timers, there’d be no work for anyone else to do— Chuuya plows through paperwork, and they’re still soukoku— they never fail a single mission)

In their free time, they play games, write some shitty novels and some not so shitty novels, they try painting, they both become polyglots, read all the books they can in all the languages they can read, and it is all so mundane and so, so human

they no longer have to prove it to anyone

They are home

[flamie-42]

Soukoku’s New Year

A little present from me since I havent updated my fics in a little bit, sorry :(

It’s New Year’s Eve, Chuuya gets a mysterious text from his old partner.

Mackerel: come to our place at the port

It’s late and Chuuya is already 2 glasses deep into his celebratory end of year wine he had been saving.

But it’s Dazai and so he begrudgingly puts on his jacket and a scarf. The sound of his motorcycle carries him down the streets until he reaches a warehouse at the end of the docs.

He climbes onto the roof and there he finds his (ex) partner sitting at the peak of the roof. Without saying a word he sits down next to the taller man.

You actually came

He has a tired smile on his face as he looks off into the black abyss of the ocean.

Of course I did

It was the same response he always gave when he got texts like this one.

Why did you text

His tone was standoffish as usual but he proceeded to flop down beside Dazai on the metal roof.

I wanted to see my Chibi! It’s been a while

He was cheerful but Chuuya could see the sadness in his eyes as he spouted his usual nonsense

Yeah I’m sure, what’s the real reason

He had placed his hand on Dazai’s to force the man to look at him instead of avoiding his line of sight. Dazai’s well manicured facade fell as he did so and a more melancholy look appeared on his features

The rest of the agency is throwing a party but….

It seemed as though that thought would go farther but instead he changed his tune and switched topics

Remember our first New Years? I dragged you down here to watch the fireworks and you wouldn’t shut up about how much you hated me?

Chuuya laughed to himself, It had been a long seven years since that date and so much had changed. As he though about all of the previous years a warm body slumped against his shoulder and he could feel Dazai's hair against his neck.

Yeah you made me stay until the fireworks went off and then tried to convince me to kiss you for "good luck in the new year"

He felt a warm laugh from the man lounging on his shoulder at that comment. He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and searched for a lighter he knew was stored in his jacket. Not finding it he huffed and motioned to Dazai. Seconds later a small flame bloomed between their huddled form and Chuuya used it to ignite the stick set between his fingers.

What if that's what I'm trying to do this year?

Dazai's muffled voice filtered up to him as he blew a puff of smoke into the darkness. Chuuya looked down to try and see if the bastard was joking or not only to be met with his unruly mop of hair blocking his face as he leaned on Chuuya's shoulder. Without seeing his old partner's face he was unable to know the real intention so he merely scoffed and took another drag of the cigarette in his hand.

mhm sure Dazai

It was the only practical response to make and it seemed to satiate Dazai as Chuuya's attention was drawn away to the sparks of color that began to paint the night sky. A loud boom echoed through the quiet port and Chuuya remembered why they always used to watch the fireworks from this spot. It almost felt as though you were right in front of the bursts as they erupted over the quiet port. He hardly noticed the absence of the weight that had just previously been attached to his shoulder until he felt a hand turn his face to the side.

Dazai was now staring right into his eyes and if Chuuya didn't know better he would have thought there was a slight blush across his cheeks. He leaned in closer until their lips fell together in a much too short kiss. As Dazai pulled back Chuuya was sure that there was a blush adorning his cheeks. As quickly as it had happened Dazai had turned away to look out at the fireworks again.

Chuuya shook his head and decided to ignore what he was sure was a goofy grin on his face. He flicked the stub of the cigarette away and pulled Dazai's face back towards him.

Come back here, Mackerel. I need some more luck

[kaeyx]

Okay, but consider -

You think you got away from Yan!Chuuya. You think you got snatched by yan!Dazai. And you now think this is much, much worse.

What you don’t know is that this is as planned - soukoku soukokuing as it were. Chuuya calling in a little favor from his ex-partner. Dazai’s not to hurt you (too much) - just rough you up a little. Rattle you. Frighten you. Make you understand why Chuuya just had to steal you away in the first place - to keep you safe from things like this, from real monsters like Dazai.

So that when Chuuya shows up to “rescue” you, you’ll now think that he’s not a monster, he’s your hero. You’ll curl right up in his arms and beg him to never let anyone take you away from him again.

You’ll be happy. You’ll be safe. You’ll never know the truth.

It’s better this way.

Oh that's so horrible I LOVE IT!! screaming and frothing I can't even add anything except maybe Chuuya would let Dazai use you for the night if he wants to in exchange, because this really was the attitude adjustment you needed. OUFH IT'S SO JUICY AND SHITTY

[kyouka-supremacy]

What are the things you like or appreciate about shin soukoku? /gen

(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

I like sskk! I like everything about them. I feel like there's just so much to unpack about them, and there's no end to it!! After all this time I'm still finding out new possible dynamics and ways to interpret their relationship, it's so much fun. They're both very very complex characters, and their dynamics together are pretty awesome? There's the whole deal– I hate myself, so I have to hate you, because you're just like me. It's sooo cool. It's nice to see characters who hate themselves so much, but who also try to do better (Atsushi), try to be better (Akutagawa). They're both so so complex individually, and I simply adore what becomes of them when they come together. I think that when they're together, their individual characterization shines the brightest, because they're souls precisely created as parts of the same whole. And I've written about this forever ago, but I really like how their journey goes from hating each other to loving each other to loving themselves, I think it's a very nice concept to explore.

It's just a... Low-pressure ship in a lot of ways? It's something very very comforting to think about for me. As a ship, it constantly feels like saying “yeah, you do kind of suck. That doesn't mean you can't be loved.” It's just such a sweet sentiment for me!! It's not saying one shouldn't try to be better, but sometimes you do feel like you're utterly bad and unlovable, and there's no helping it; and sskk is there telling you “look. Here's two of the worst people on earth. One of them is unlovable by definition. And they still have in them to love, and to be loved.'” It's just :')

I genuinely love how both of them are kind of awful people. I mean, there's probably not a single thing about their moral code I agree with. But for some reason that makes them very compelling to explore? It's interesting to engage with characters that share worldviews so strikingly different from mine. Them having such fucked up ideals, so many flaws and selfish goals, makes them feel terribly human, and also makes them very sympathetic, in a way. They're a true mess, but one that reminds me so much of how sloppy and incoherent humans are like. Them being so distant from me greatly adds to their appeal tbh! Generally, I have a very strong moral code, and I try to do the right thing, while they're terribly selfish and self-survival driven. I'm mostly perceived as a woman, and they are two men with superpowers who fight and die for each other. I like reading about characters I can't see anything of myself in! I already have enough of myself irl lol.

Now that I think about it, I really really love how they don't mince words. Again, it's something personal, but I heavily dislike the habit of using euphemisms to sugarcoat reality. Sometimes things are unpleasant and ugly, and trying to deny it feels insulting more often than not. Sskk are always very direct, and never hesitated to tell what they think to the other's face, even if it comes at the cost of throwing insults; weirdly enough, it's something I appreciate. I think deep down, they appreciate it too.

The perspective of having someone who makes your true nature emerge is nice. Again, instead of mincing words and faking it, it's nice to imagine there's someone who could see them for who they really are, and loves them still. It's compelling to explore the true terror anyone would feel from being completely naked in front of someone else, but at the same time the sort of relief that comes with it? “This is the part of me I've always beaten up and suppressed and hidden. Look! Isn't that deeply disgusting? Yet that is nothing but the real me.”

The whole complementary-in-everything thing hits that specific part of my ocd brain that has me do stuff like organize my posts in a coherent string so that every post is connected to the previous, have every post posted at a round number timespan, count the pixels in every single picture I trim etc. Atsushi is mostly white in his design and Akutagawa is mostly black but the colors are reversed when they use their abilities combined. Atsushi is good and Akutagawa is evil. Tiger & dragon & cat & dog. Blue and red. government-affiliated job and mafia. Healthy and regenerating vs. sick and decaying. Loved & hated. Attractive and hideous. One loves reading and the other finds it unnerving, one knows how to cook and the other is a cooking disaster, one likes coffee and the other likes tea, early bird and night owl, so on and so forth. Then, the fact that when they come together they end up looking so deeply similar is kind of neat, it's like there's some sort of Hegelian synthesis in their love.

Their canon moments are truly great and exciting. I care relatively little about the amount of moments a ship has in canon– an interesting dynamic is an interesting dynamic no matter their screentime, right? And you're free to imagine what the characters interacting would be like in your head any time. And while I still like to believe their relationship would still be very compelling even without the moments they share, wow. Their canon screentime is crazy, it's outstanding. I think the depiction of their dynamics in canon is exceptionally good, and extremely well-written. The “the words of your past are fundamentally unrelated to who you are now”, the Atsushi wearing Rashomon, the “you damn fool // hurry up and go”, the “just the two of us?”– they're all such epic and sublime moments, every time they leave the reader gaping and bewildered and, frankly, wondering if that really happened. And their scenes are so consistently homoerotically charged!! From the “it's been reserved solely for you today” to the “the man-tiger's my main dish” to the “their eyes met. Akutagawa's lips moved, mouthing the words I found you” to the “once this is done, I'm going to teach you things other than ‘killing’ ” to the “as long as I can't deny your very being, I'll never be able to move forward” to the “don't touch me! Disgusting!” to the “I'm sorry”. From Akutagawa piercing Atsushi with Rashomon to kicking him to getting unnecessarily close to his face. From every second they've spent admiring each other to the way they call out each other's names with so much passion. The list goes on forever. And chapters 84-88 are short to a masterpiece. The characters' growth is madly well-executed, how we see them go through it almost step-by-step, and it's all so consistent, and it's all so human.

Finally, the picture that made me go “Ah! There's something about them!” for the first time. It's very dear to me :)

It's got Atsushi being cute and Akutagawa looking at him with a fairly undecipherable expression that yet is distinctively non-hostile, and this precise illustration made my brain go “Wow, what if Akutagawa actually had a soft spot for Atsushi. What if there was tenderness in his eyes.” Then it all went downhill from there ahah

[pleucas]

I just reblogged all your art (sorry if that was weird) but your drawings are AMAZING the composition the expressions and the way you draw backgrounds is amazing!!! you are crazy talented, I wanted to ask, have you read any soukoku fics that you would rec? if not that’s okay, I’m just curious about that.

ALSO. wanted to ask if I could use your art for a soukoku playlist I have on spotify (of course giving you credit in the description), if not it’s okay too:)

hehe hi!

i think i saw the spam happen in real time lmfao. it was truly an honor, made my day lolol <3 i'm glad you like my art, and thank you for taking your time to send in an ask.

you can totally use my art for spotify playlists! it's insane to me that someone would want to, so thank you so much <3 <3 totally send it over if you're open to sharing >;D

as for fic recs, i do indeed have a few...

idk if my taste in fics is similar to yours, but i generally like more introspective works with really good writing. the bsd fandom has a surprisingly (or unsurprisingly, given that the animanga is inspired by literary masters) incredible selection of works, unmatched by any other fanbase i've investigated.

my go-to rec is Three-fold Fate by devilrin (multi-chap, 60k, complete). the writing in this one KILLED ME. you know it's gotta be good when the author literally cites Ocean Vuong as inspiration lmfao. it explores the intricacies of canon-verse and dabbles into other aspects of bsd that aren't even explored (yet) in canon. brilliant writing and good skk shit, also with an interesting premise that really hit hard — i always go back to read parts of it when i want to spiral in my thoughts

the art of growing attached by hydref (one-shot, 6k, complete) is also really nice. soft & intimate, also in character in a very funny way

the choir's gonna sing by intimatopia (one-shot, 8k, complete) was really interesting, and i think abt it a lot. it explores dazai's ability in a super cool way that i haven't thought abt before, and now it's one of my fav interpretations. it also adds a depth to the skk relationship that i kinda adore. the writing is also brilliant, and the other works in the series hold a similarly high standard

StarshipDancer's skk series is also a goldmine of skk fics lol. the writing is solid and often very entertaining, i also love how they're both characterized

all the holes we had to breathe by airiena (one-shot, 18k, complete) is gorjus. it explores the dev of their relationship, and has some wonderfully handled motifs that made me writhe lol. very cathartic.

Always/Never by KhaoticEnby (multi-chap, 27k, complete) is one of my favs to return to. it's the peak of reconciliatory intimacy, and i enjoy how it gently explores skk's relationship. also very very cathartic and healing hehe

those are just 6 that immediately come to mind from my mountain of bookmarks aha. hope you enjoy at least some of em ;0 someday i do want to write for skk as well, they're just so captivating and wonderful... <3

thank you again for sending in an ask. wishing you a wonderful day!!

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

Right back at you what are YOUR favourite Chuuya headcanons (and dazai)

okay so the way i draw skk is pretty inconsistent i think but...!!!!

I think its pretty apparent in most chuuyas i draw that i am a BIGGG freckle chuuya enjoyer. it's what he deserves. but also ive been picking up on dark circles/eyebags and such for him too. real and canon to the enlightened one. OH AND PIERCINGS ‼️

↑↑↑ i like doing em like this

and thennn... not really headcanon? but people are so used to anime chuuya so .... big brown eyed chuuya fan. big sienna haired chuuya fan. harukawa was right from the start... oh and i tend to floof up most characters hair when i draw them but really i do imagine his hair at least really wavy? i dont put much thought into hcs when i draw them so its not very consistent but if i made a definite guide itd be on there. wavy-curly hair

NOW AS FOR DAZAI‼️

i like giving him moles fhrhej typically i do one under his left eye and one by the right side of his mouth but occasionally I'll slip some extra in. i also like giving him eyebags... i don't think his sleep schedules the greatest. i think tend to make them darker for port mafia dazais and less obvious for ada dazai ? thats how it is in my head

...and i really like freckles okay shhhhhshshshshh but i do imagine them to be a lot fainter or non-existent when hes younger, being visible when he's older. getting more sun. but i do draw them as a lot lighter than or sparser than chuuyas, like here.

personally i think hes got dark brown hair, but a bit darker in the mafia because he doesn't take care of it often enough. had i actually been focusing on consistency id probably note like. flatter darker hair (oily) for the mafia & curly hair in the ada. curly haired dazai 🔛🔝...

NOW FOR HEADCANONS IN GENERAL (BUT SLIGHTLY MORE DAZAI IM SO SORRY HE IS ON MY MIND ALWAYS)

theyre both trans. both of them‼️ trust me. soukoku transmasc swag. their periods are synced. i think they'd use different products though tbh. dazai seems like a pads guy but i feel like chuuya would use menstrual cups mainly

chuuya should get a big splotchy birthmark. as a treat. im thinking on the side of one of his legs or smth. i think dazai should have a smaller one on his shoulder or smth.

chuuya likes his coffee black but will have something sweet with it. dazais coffee is more milk and sugar than anything

scars!!!!! on both of them!!!!!!! in particular i think corruption scars chuuya is cool + dazai having one from the scythe slash in fifteen. plus some stupid ones. dazai tripped over his shoes once and now hes got one on his knee. chuuyas got some barely noticable burn on his hand because he forgot to put on oven mitts once

dazai will twirl anything hes holding (pencils. his hair. someone elses hair) but chuuya will flip stuff (coins. pencils. his phone)

theyre both asexual. double black ace rings. if you even care

dazai needs glasses so bad his right eye is so fucked up guys. his headaches are probably the worst go take an ibuprofen dude tf.

dazai also canonically knows embroidery so i like to think its a genuine hobby

OH ALSO chuuya crochet hobby. crochet cant be done by machine. btw

[gildeddlily]

he would never admit it, but Chuuya prefers ADA!Dazai to PM!Dazai. arl, he doesn't hate the Agency, and we don't really know his thoughts ab them. he doesn't like weak people, and no one there is really weak, everyone has some skill or ability that he'd find useful (Tachihara like the Black LIzard said has the perfect ability to be an assassin, Fukuzawa and Kunikida are extremely strong in martial arts (and Chuuya is the Mafia's best martial artist, it would be so interesting to see him fight Fukuzawa. without ability, only to know who'd win), Kenji is a sweetheart and Chuuya has already acknowledged his strength, Atsushi is just like him, Kyouka is Kouyou's ex apprentice ofc he'd like her, and Yosano is the embodiment of girl power with one of the most useful abilities ever) so yeah.

Dazai is objectively better in his ADA era (ofc one can prefer his younger self, find it more interesting, but he's a better person in his twenties). Sometimes it doesn't matter why one does good things, it's enough the fact they're doing good, that they choose to. maybe Dazai became a good man just because of Oda's last words, but he became a good man. even if he still has to work more ab himself, he's trying and he's doing a good job at it. and a reality where Chuuya (who has matured in those years too, who has changed like Dazai has changed) kinda likes this Dazai is appealing. one where he sees how much Dazai is trying to be better, ad Chuuya's the type of guy to appreciate something like that. (Chuuya loved Dazai, trusted him, but he isn't (and wasn't) the type of guy to like unjustified violence- when Dazai was the type of guy who didn't really care ab reasons) like a "I recognise you've changed, it's ok I've changed too, but yk this version of you is better than the edgy emo kid able to put a bullet in someone's head just because he was bored" not saying he's perfect, but come on PM!Dazai is a piece of shit to anyone except Odasaku (the ff tropes I wanna write but don't find the strenght to) (soukoku is the real deal) (they're gonna be endgame I feel it) (not really I'm hoping for the pride month)

[robsterskellington]

Okay, this is another snippet where Vanitas isn't actually in, but he is mentioned. Bit Soukoku focused, so we hope you enjoy!

Context: This takes place after the snippet "Chuuya is accused of a crime he didn't commit", so Chuuya and Dazai have decided to have a romantic vacation together in Paris.

Two days in Paris flew by in a flash. Dazai was grateful for the distraction, eager to forget Kunikida’s words and the Agency's distrust of Chuuya. They were using Chuuya's connections with the Port Mafia, so they were given a lavish hotel room with everything they could possibly need- the Port Mafia had bases all over the world, and Chuuya was the one who was sent on missions to France more often than not. Being completely stocked up on food at the hotel and being within walking distance of fancy restaurants didn't stop them from buying way too many pastries at the local patisseries, or buying expensive wines, though.

They did the classic sightseeing, Dazai taking photos of the Eiffel Tower to show Vanitas when they returned, and dragging Chuuya to see the Louvre, always having an eye for art. Chuuya loved the culture, but he also couldn't deny the preference for European food, which lead to a very small downfall on the second night, when Chuuya was lying on their bed, completely spread out with his stomach swollen from being entirely too greedy, and fast asleep after having one glass more of wine than he could tolerate.

Dazai found it adorable and hilarious, and was grateful that Chuuya was small, as well as that they had a large bed to share. Dazai could easily slip into bed next to him, but decided to sit on the balcony for a little longer, feeling the summer breeze and holding a glass of wine. It was never usually his drink of choice, but Chuuya knew his tastes and was able to get him one that he'd like. He felt relaxed, and they still had the rest of the week and all of another to relax.

It turned out that he would need *all* of that time to relax, as just as when Dazai went to take another sip, his phone started to ring. There was no caller ID but that didn't mean anything to him. He knew exactly who was calling as he answered: "We're on vacation, Mori."

"Yes, I'm aware." Dazai could hear that Mori was doing some paperwork, likely with his own glass of wine, and listened, "This is actually a task I had intended to have Chuuya look into, however it might be best for you to do it. Chuuya's an excellent executive, however he tends to deal with his issues with his fists first."

"There's a problem with the base here in Paris?" That was strange. The work here was fairly simple: the Port Mafia members stationed here are tasked with falsifying documents and creating forgeries. Nothing dangerous and in the eyes of certain law enforcements, not even illegal. Then again, once they take one bribe, they're permanently corrupt in the eyes of the Mafia, and easier to blackmail.

"That's correct. A local gang seems to think that all of those documents are legitimate, and have been harassing our members, some with lethal force." Ah, so there were casualties. Usually, Dazai wouldn't care, except these people were doing fairly innocent work. Even the Agency have had to use their services in the past. Before he could even ask, Mori answered: "All I'd like you to do is go to the base. If there are any of those gang members, simply scare them off. If they believe the former Demon Prodigy has made a comeback, they'll run with their tails between their legs. They already know of Chuuya's talents, so they definitely won't come back if they think we're sending Double Black down on their heads."

It was depressing how much sense that made to Dazai. And unfortunately, it would definitely work. Rival gangs of any kind have done some amount of research on the Port Mafia, and knew of his and Chuuya's skills. It was stupid- they knew that Dazai could kill them all, but they didn't know that the place they were harassing didn't have any real or valuable information or documentation. Then again, it was the same for any moron who tried to attack the Agency. Even the Guild with all their assets never stood a chance.

"...as soon as possible, I take it?" He wanted to just spend this holiday with his boyfriend, but he didn't want Chuuya to know how bad his emotions got, how bad things were at the Agency, and he certainly didn't want Chuuya to find out that Dazai had essentially sold the remains of his soul to the devil in order to track down the bastard who framed him and caused all this mess to begin with!

"Tomorrow night," Mori clarified, "They're planning to attack the base then. I'll text you the time in the morning, and give you the chance to come up with an excuse for Chuuya."

"Fine." He hung up and downed the glass of wine. Of course he wasn't allowed a peaceful vacation, was he?

****

While they had come to Paris to spend time together and away from Yokohama, Chuuya had been surprisingly understanding when Dazai spoke about wanting to spend some time wandering about on his own. Dazai was clever, so he could figure out his way around and back. That's when they made a plan for that night: they'd both have some time to themselves, wandering around and having a break, then meet up later on at a local club for drinks and partying.

Dazai took the opportunity to sneak off and fulfil his part of the deal, plus he couldn't deny wanting to do something he used to. He knew how to deal with gangs, and he'd easily be able to do whatever was necessary to get them to talk.

So... it was strange that the base was quiet. No gunfire, no shouting, no fighting? When he entered the main distribution office, the Port Mafia members there were unconscious but otherwise unharmed. The enemy gang members were nowhere to be seen, and none of the forged documents had been stolen, Dazai knew that immediately. He quietly took a gun from one of the unconscious men and looked around- no sense in being an unarmed detective, after all.

The smell of blood eventually lured Dazai into another room, a meeting room from the look of it, but all the tables and chairs had been pushed aside, leaving a wide area of emptiness. He stepped inside, gun at the ready, but all the enemy gang members had already been dealt with- all dead, in a pile in the corner, bleeding from their necks. There wasn't nearly as much of that red liquid as there should have been, almost as if they'd been drained of it. He frowned, then froze when he heard the clearing of a throat.

Turning around, he saw a man sat on a chair at the end of the room, his legs crossed and a warm smile on his face. Dazai immediately knew he was in some form of danger- no matter how much he forced his heart to beat, or tried to pretend, he felt absolutely no fear at all. He wasn't afraid of this man, and that was somehow the most terrifying thing. Obviously he recognised this man from drawings Vanitas created in an effort to remember- while there was no name to go with the face, the rest was completely accurate to the artistic rendition:

Blonde hair, hidden beneath a fancy top hat that matched his black and purple suit, and heterochromia- one eye as blue as copper sulfate, and one a shimmering lilac. His skin was porcelain white, and his warm smile hid fangs beneath it. A Vampire from Vanitas' world, obviously. Then he spoke, his voice velvety smooth and gentle, as if he was speaking to a child, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Osamu Dazai. I trust you've been taking good care of the Heir to Blue?"

"We're at a disadvantage. You know my name, I don't know yours." Information was what he needed, so hopefully this guy would cooperate. Although he was curious about who he was referring to. Did he mean Vanitas? But he said his former guardian's name was Luna, didn't he?

"Ah, my apologies! I am the Comte de Saint Germain. However, I understand that your French isn't the best." Ouch. True, but ouch. He got that enough from Chuuya, he didn't need a complete stranger insulting him for his inability to speak or understand French. "You may call me *Teacher*. It's what I'm used to."

"Alright, *Sensei*. You did all this to get my attention. Why?" He didn't like this man, immediately. He made him uncomfortable, it was like having a second Mori, which was already disgusting to think about.

"Such intense eyes. There's no need for hostility, I simply wanted a discussion... with the Guardian of the Book." Dazai kept his face blank and his heart calm, but the Teacher smiled, "Such a responsibility has been placed on your shoulders. I'm surprised you haven't taken advantage. Don't be so tense, I won't ask to see it, nor will I ask for a Page. You've already had enough issues with that, I hear."

"While the Book is very real, I have no idea what you mean by calling me it's Guardian." Dazai made the decision to holster the gun- Odasaku always told him to at least wear a discreet holster in case anything happened and he needed to steal a firearm. "I'll try and be civil-"

"That's appreciated, but I will inform you that you don't have to play dumb, *Shūji*." That name did always get a flinch out of Dazai, that was unavoidable. The Teacher chuckled, "It's absolutely fine. Now, onto the topic at hand: how is the Heir to Blue, the one you know as Vanitas?"

Dazai didn't want to answer out of spite, so instead he simply asked: "Why do you care?"

"A good question! Very well, it's because I'm concerned about him. Blue knew very well that altering his fate would come at a price, and in this case, that would be his memories, am I right?" When Dazai made no indication that yes, he was absolutely right, he still carried on as if he'd verified his hypothesis, "That being was very dear to me, so I want to protect their family. His little brother is devastated, of course. As is someone who... well, I'm fairly certain he'd fallen in love with that poor boy."

Okay, that was sad. Was that the guy Vanitas was trying the hardest to remember the most? The dark skinned man with lilac eyes? And little brother... that was likely the boy with white hair, since Vanitas had drawn him with a book just like his. Dazai wouldn't tell this guy about Vanitas, all he did was glare and spoke clearly: "Their name was Luna. Get it right."

The Teacher applauded and laughed, "Good answer! Excellent!" Not quite the reaction he expected, but it would do. The man then stood up and tilted his head, "You're aware that things are very different now, aren't you? Certain plans gone horribly wrong, and the story that was laid out had completely twisted."

"Again, no idea what you're talking about." How did the Teacher know all of this? But it was true. Both he and Fyodor knew that the outcome of the Decay of Angels Incident... wasn't meant to be like this. There should have been far more casualties, and circumstances should have made things go a different path. It was Fyodor's expression that made it clear to Dazai that the game wasn't in either of their favours, so it was a good thing Nikolai had two doses of that antidote on hand.

That was when the Teacher held up something that made Dazai drop the calm and collected act: a Page from the Book- there was already a lot of writing on it, both sides had been written on. The Teacher changed the angle he held it at, to show Dazai the first side: Japanese writing, neat and orderly. Fukuchi's handwriting. But the other side was written completely differently, the style and language was that of a different person's. Dazai knew it was French writing, so...

"I managed to alter Captain Fukuchi's little story. I appear to have messed things up a little bit, and for that I do apologise." He grinned, "Being a Vampire can't have been good for Chuuya, nor the... *friend* trapped within him. It may have stirred unnecessary memories."

"Don't talk about him." Dazai didn't even realise that he had the gun aimed at the Teacher again. All it took was hearing his boyfriends name to get him to act stupidly. Then again, sometimes he had to have human instincts, and when it came to Chuuya, he was fine being human.

"Peace, Mr. Dazai. All I'm saying is that this Page no longer has power over your world. You're welcome." The Teacher put the used Page back into his breast pocket and stood up from the chair, only to sway slightly, looking rather lethargic, "Ah... I cannot slow time much longer. It appears that our conversation is over. I have all my answers anyway."

*He slowed time? Then he knows about my Ability. Does he know everything?* Dazai kept the gun trained on him, and his eyes widened when the Teacher brought out... "The Book of Vanitas? Where did you get that? If you did anything to-"

"There are two Books of Vanitas. Calm yourself. I borrowed this from his little brother, with permission." The Teacher opened the book, and a blue light enveloped him, though he gave a brief bow, "Perhaps you saw this meeting as pointless. But to me, this was incredibly fruitful. Tell Ougai that you despatched these men yourself, he will believe you."

With that, he was gone. Dazai stood there motionless for a minute longer before checking his phone: that entire conversation or whatever the Hell that was supposed to be should have taken 10 or so minutes, but barely a minute had gone by. When he looked over at the bodies, their wounds had changed: bite marks on their necks had changed to fatal bullet wounds on different parts of their bodies. Hesitating for a moment, Dazai checked the rounds in his gun, it had been full before. Now the clip was empty. Enough to do the job.

He simply dialled Mori's number after that, and once the call was answered, Dazai's emotionless voice uttered the words: "It's done."

****

"Where the Hell is he? Did that idiot get himself lost again? Or did he pick a fight with someone by trying to speak French again?" Chuuya paced a little, having been waiting outside the club for an hour and a half already. It was starting to get a little busy and he wanted to get some drinks and hit the dance floor with his partner while they could still move. He knew Dazai did like to wander though, so he wouldn't hold it against him. Still, he got out his phone, only to feel his eye twich at seeing the lack of signal, and the data was so poor he couldn't contact Dazai via online means either.

"Chibiiiii!! I'm sorry, I got lost and I couldn't get a signal on my phone!" Dazai ran up, slightly sweaty and out of breath, "And I didn't dare ask anyone for directions. I don't even remember what happened last time I tried speaking French."

For making him wait, Chuuya thought a little bit of teasing was necessary, "Oh, I do~" Dazai froze and stared at Chuuya who grinned, "You tried to compliment Kouyou, only to tell her she wasn't even worthy of being called shit."

"There's too many vowels in French. I don't know how to move my mouth correctly, I'm better off using it for other things~" He wagged his eyebrows at Chuuya who rolled his eyes with a smirk, and Dazai pouted, "Aww, c'mon. Gimme something I can actually say. Next time I see her, what should I tell Kouyou?"

"Tu est belle," He answered immediately, crossing his arms, "That means *you are beautiful*. Replace belle with beau when using it towards a man, since that's the masculine term."

"In that case, *tu est beau*." He grinned when Chuuya went red.

"Oh, shut it." He mumbled, feeling flustered, "That one doesn't count, because I told you that. At least *try* and be original with your flirting."

Dazai smirked and pulled him close, bowing his head down to give him some kisses on his neck and cheek, "Aww, but you *are* beautiful."

"So are you, 'samu." Chuuya managed to get out while having giggling fits from the kisses, "Mon cœur t'appartient."

Dazai blushed when Chuuya had to translate his own flirt- *my heart belongs to you*- and murmured, "You're already smoking hot, so how the Hell did you speaking in French somehow make you even more attractive?"

Chuuya just shrugged, "It's a universal thing, I think. French is attractive, but also aggressive at times, or some shit like that. Then again, it's unexplainable what stuff turns people on." He then tilted his head, "If you found *that* attractive, then~ tu es libre pour le dîner samedi?"

This time, Dazai managed to figure out that he was asking if Dazai was free for dinner on Saturday, to which he blushed again, feeling like his face might as well stay permanently red, "I need to treat you, though. To make up for being so late tonight."

"I wasn't waiting that long." He kind of stayed at a cafe longer than he'd been meaning to, eating from a charcuterie board, enjoying the rich cheeses, flavourful meats and fresh fruits.

Dazai kissed his forehead once more, like he couldn't keep his lips off his partner for more than a few minutes at a time or he'd perish, "Good, you do need to eat more." Unfortunately, Dazai also couldn't help but be a jackass every few minutes as well, "But your breath still smells of cheese."

Chuuya looked away, slightly embarrassed before deciding to match Dazai's energy but being far more vulger, "If you carry on like that, I won't be speaking French between your legs tonight."

"Wha- I- *CHUUYA!!*" If Dazai wasn't already red, he'd have absolutely exploded red at those words. Chuuya just grinned and ran into the club before Dazai could stop him, ignoring his comments about being unfair and teasing. Chuuya decided to make things worse for Dazai, dancing with him and purposely trying to rile him up. Chuuya knew *exactly* what to do and he did it so *well*, almost *perfectly*. "Slug's playing dirty..." Dazai pouted.

"Fairness is boring, detective." He winked and Dazai found himself continuing to blush more. This moment really was like some shitty criminal x detective fanfiction... but fuck it, Dazai was happy with it. He loved Chuuya with his entire existence, the lighting and atmosphere of the club making him look more radiant and *attractive*.

Around Dazai, Chuuya didn't hide his heterochromia, nor his freckles, and he danced like nobody was watching. Dazai couldn't help but feel like he was being pulled in by a siren. A *beautiful* siren. Being pulled under, but not drowning, though his heart was beating fast in his ears and a warmth spread throughout his body.

Chuuya kissed him when he came close, and Dazai knew that this man was truly worth *living* for. He immediately wrapped his arms around Chuuya, acknowledging that if Chuuya can play unfairly, so can he, and he knew exactly what to do, where to touch and hold, he had committed everything to memory. Chuuya hummed against his lips, grateful that Dazai was here with him.

This vacation was for Dazai, after all- he needed a break from the Agency after Kunikida’s outburst, and Chuuya being away would prove his innocence. He knew that Kunikida’s words had *really* hurt Dazai, he'd looked so upset, distraught even, like he had been betrayed. So, he would take care of Dazai until he was well enough to face his work partner again. Chuuya considered himself to be Dazai's *life* partner, and would continue to think that way; his heart had already made that decision, and he couldn't and wouldn't change that. His heart and mind were impossible to sway, even when things got tough.

Dazai nuzzled Chuuya, resting against him which got him to close his eyes, "I love you, 'samu." That was all he needed to say, and it was the honest truth.

Dazai found himself hugging Chuuya tightly and burying his face into his firey red hair, his heart still needing time to process those words, no matter how often they were said. After his breakdown, he struggled to believe that he was worthy of being loved, his brain and heart having to remember that nothing Chuuya was doing or saying was wrong. He just mumbled his response, his words still completely sincere, "I love you too, Chuuya."

Chuuya stroked his hair and held him as close as he could, shutting his eyes and swaying with him, "...thanks for not giving up on me, even when I was being a jackass."

He just chuckled, "Of course, I'm pretty stubborn when I wanna be."

Chuuya didn't think it was stubbornness. Dazai always had trouble with his emotions, but there was genuine care in his heart. No matter how much he suffered or struggled, he could never shut off his emotions completely. He acknowledged how much he fucked up, or thought he was doing the right thing, only to look back and feel nothing but guilt or shame. But he was becoming a better person, and that was who Chuuya would never stop believing in- after all, it was still Dazai in the end.

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Y'all, I think I've figured it out. Operating on the assumption that the finale is indeed an alternate timeline from the manga, then someone could have written on a page of the Book to rewrite reality to lead to the events of the finale sometime during season 5's events. In other words, this would explain the INCONSISTENCIES with things that were established or at least heavily implied/assumed prior and in the manga: Chuuya being a real vampire and not in control, nothing being planned, Dazai giving sincere speeches, Dazai really being shot and saying his "last words", Fyodor's hand not being injured, soukoku not killing Fyodor while in Meursault because they literally couldn't and Dazai needing Sigma to discover Fyodor's secrets because of that, Fukuchi's goal not being one that relied on Fukuzawa being alive since he clearly intended to kill him, etc etc too many more to count

Events and explanations in the finale feeling so contradictory and out of place, and characters feeling so ooc and not acknowledging any discrepancies, makes perfect sense if you consider that, up until a certain point, this was our canon timeline — until someone rewrote the ending of the arc with the Book, starting with Fyodor injuring his hand...! We only have one example of the Book being used to majorly rewrite reality in the manga, and when that happened, the main players — the ADA members — were aware that reality was changed, even though they did have memories of the new rewritten reality. BUT, Nikolai was unaware of this during that scene, and so also were all law enforcement because of the clause written on the page accounting for that, so what if the same thing could happen in this instance, to prevent all our characters in the finale from being aware that things had changed? We literally saw someone writing Nikolai's dialogue for him; imagine someone doing that during Dazai's final speech in the episode, and during all the rest of it! I don't know who this would be, but possibly a mysterious third party who got a hold of a different page from the Book somewhere and wrote things to turn out this way, because they wanted the ADA to win against Fukuchi and Fyodor? Maybe even because... this is the only way they can win?

Remember Atsushi asserting this plan, and how silly and too simple it sounded? What if someone else ended up doing just that, writing their own simple outcome for the ADA to win (as a narrative of course, which is probably why it had to start with the major catalyst of, again, Fyodor injuring his hand)? Additionally, if that's what happened, maybe the ending of the finale is a sort of side effect to the Book being used improperly in this way, leading to a destabilization of the timeline or a mishmash of other timelines into the anime one, leading to the alternate Fukuchi and Akutagawa we see there?

[mania-sama]

Random ask, who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in any media, like anime/manga, tv series, books, etc (can be canon or non-canon)? Feel free if you want to write the reasons or not of why you love them....

Thank you so much for sending in an ask! I would love to answer this question! I didn't go through every fandom I've been in, though I went through quite a few!!! Usually, there is only one ship I really love in a fandom that ends up being my favorite, but I like/love plenty of ships and don't limit myself to just one ship. I will say that when it comes to engaging with fandom and fanfiction, I tend to actually prefer platonic relationships, centered on found family and blood-related family than anything else.

Bungou Stray Dogs -> Shin Soukoku (Akutagawa Ryuunosuke/Nakajima Atsushi). I think most of this comes from the way they are quite literally yin and yang (my favorite symbol of all time) in almost every aspect. I firmly believe Asagiri is beating us over the head with a mallet saying "Look! Look what I did! Please look!" I'm under no impression that they will be canon, but BEAST gives me the hope that they can at least become friends, and that's testament enough to the development they go through. There is just so much there. I'm not an enemies to lovers person, but for them, I make the exception. There are so many parallels to draw between them, so much to look at and really dig into. I'm not delusional enough to say they wouldn't be toxic (all of the BSD ships except for, like, RanPoe, are toxic let's be real), but I am lenient enough to say that they can be good to each other in fanfics and decent friends in canon. Also, this applies to their BEAST counterparts, too. BEAST makes them better.

Jujutsu Kaisen -> ItaFushi (Fushiguro Megumi/Itadori Yuuji). There is a sort of trend I have with shipping, I think. I tend to like the second most popular ship, usually the younger generation of the most popular ship, which is arguably a form of torture in and of itself. JJK is not as bad as the BSD fandom is about the popularity difference, but it's still painful. Anyway, I think my love for this ship stems from the fact that Megumi has a big fat crush on Itadori and I will accept, under no circumstances, any other interpretations of his relationship with Itadori. Everything from the SatoSugu parallels (who are one handhold away from being canon let's be real), to their whole shtick being to save each other (physically and mentally), to Megumi literally describing Itadori as his type of person. Gender neutral. Even though it is so incredibly easy to use gendered terms in Japanese as it is in English. I feel like Gege is doing this on purpose because there is just no way he sees this as normal friend stuff. Recent chapters got me in a chokehold. I am SCARED. Besides all this, I think they just work very well together. They are also horribly tragic. Perfect combination.

Genshin Impact -> Xiaother (Aether/Xiao). I debated pretty heavily with myself here on what my true favorite is. I came to this conclusion mainly for one reason: Xiao. I love Aether, but I love Xiao. He is my favorite character, right next to Razor, so obviously he carries this ship. I also think that, of all of the implied relationships Genshin has supplied in plenty, Xiaother has had the most development. Every scene with them is better than the last, and the way that they make each other better is something I adore. And as for the ship being specifically Aether and not Lumine or nonspecific, it's because I chose Aether, so I'm more accustomed to using him as the traveler vessel rather than Lumine, but I'm honestly fine with either.

Identity V -> Elisop (Aesop Carl | Embalmer/Eli Clark | Seer). I haven't played this game in a hot minute for storage and laptop reasons, and I'm also not updated with the lore (nor was I entirely familiar with it from the beginning, outside of the MAIN main lore). But this ship and game were a huge part of my personal development, I think, and I do want to return to playing it in an honest effort eventually (I WANT MY ROBBIE RANK BACK). I think I perceive it differently than other people do, mainly because people oscillate between two sides of the Aesop Carl characterization spectrum. But there is something really fun in the idea that Eli, with his ability to see the future, thinks that he can somehow "fix" Aesop, under the impression that his and Getrude's relationship will never mend. And Aesop, who sees Eli and feels real love for the first time, finds that he doesn't know if he wants to kill and embalm Eli, or if he wants to indulge in this feeling called love. Toxic, probably. Their color schemes also match very well together (which is actually what led me to ship them in the first place, before fandom influence), and they are extremely compatible gameplay-wise.

Haikyuu -> IwaOi (Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru). If you told me two or so years ago that this was my favorite Haikyuu ship, I would have LAUGHED IN YOUR FACE. I hated Oikawa and didn't care much about Seijou. But then. But then. I went through a like. Month-long Haikyuu revival not too long ago and only read IwaOi fics because I came to this revelation. Oikawa is really goddamn relatable. I think we are all, in a sense, Oikawa, at one point or another. He is THE teenager. He is someone you can project every single one of your problems onto because his struggles with being untalented and unworthy are interchangeable with pretty much any self-worth conflict: internalized homophobia, eating disorders, socializing, etc. Iwaizumi can also provide these internal debates, but in a context with Oikawa makes it even better. Does Oikawa carry this ship for me? Yes. I don't care what you think I'm not here to defend myself.

Voltron: Legendary Defenders -> Klance (Keith Kogane/Lance McClain). Do NOT talk to me. They have ruined my life in pretty much every aspect. Also an exception to the not shipping thing because they are kinda the whole reason I even watched this show past season... three probably. I don't even wanna talk about them anymore because it'll just upset me. Just know that as far as the Sheith vs Klance debate goes, Sheithers are wrong for that after Keith called Shiro his brother. There. I added my fuel to the ever-burning garbage fire that is Voltron shipping. I may talk about Klance again in the future but for now I wanna leave my thoughts off here.

Merlin BBC -> Merthur (Arthur Pendragon/Merlin). Thank you Merthur fandom for teaching me what a good fic is supposed to taste like. They are kind of the epitome of the ships I tend to gravitate to: TRAGIC. The ending of Merlin is traumatizing and the fact that all of the cast pretty shipped it (as well as you can see the faint mouthing of the words "I love you" in the final death scene) is like. The first true healthy immersion into a ship I've ever had. I never obsessed over them too hard, I think, but Merlin is still my favorite live-action show, and Merthur is always well and true to my heart. They also got me introduced to the master/servant trope in terms of medieval times, and I had a very long affinity for it in fanfiction. I don't like it as much anymore, but I look upon that time with happiness rather than the usual slight embarrassment.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power -> Catradora (Adora/Catra). I also make an exception for enemies to lovers for them because they even added that extra-friendly step of friends to enemies to lovers. Genuinely, no show surprised me as much as She-Ra did. Shout out She-Ra for giving me the worst envy I've ever felt in my life. I want to rock a suit as well as Catra did in that one scene. Anyway, I loved their development. I know some people criticize it for being rushed towards the end, but I like the way they were able to forgive Catra so easily. They understood what it meant to be used and manipulated, what it meant to be unable to fight against oppressive forces. People are mad at compassion, even though that's the literal whole point of She-Ra. Whatever. They could never make me hate you Catradora.

Percy Jackson (all book series) -> Percabeth (Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson). The blueprint. That's it. That's all you gotta know. I don't read fics about them because there is nothing to improve upon. One of the best written series and best written romances of all time. It was basically everything Avatar: The Last Airbender failed to do with Kataang (sorry for ragging on them for a second but that's the only thing I didn't like about ATLA; the romances) failed to accomplish, with all the same in-depth and wonderful characters. Like, they are everything I aspire to have in a relationship. The way they are simply meant for each other and aren't rushed, but are always implied to have that cutesy young crushes until they finally got together. I love them. Ugh. Uncle Rick you win again.

Anyway, these were some of my favorite ships of all time!! Sorry, I blabbered a lot. Probably listed more ships than you meant to but I take whatever opportunity I can to talk about things I enjoy IN DEPTH. There were also a lot of M/M romances, which, I swear to God, just happened out that way. I love plenty of F/F and F/M relationships, they just rarely end up as my top favorite. DO NOT accuse me of anything because I WILL NOT hear it.

[amethystroselily]

What is your opinion on soukoku?

As a ship? Yeah, I do ship it.

I don’t like it as a “they’re eachother’s one true love” sort of thing, but as a complicated “I hated you at first, but then I warmed up to you, then I hated you again because you screw me over constantly and we’re being pitted against eachother by our boss, then I started to deeply care about you because of the forced proximity and the fact that we were just two teenagers who were never allowed to really be kids and we can find common ground in that, then you left and I still love you even though I dislike you” sort of thing with some sexual tension thrown into the mix? That’s great. Not the most important relationship in each other’s lives, but there’s still an unbreakeable bond.

I’m of the opinion that Dazai is way more invested in their relationship than Chuuya is, and has been since the moment they met, but Chuuya started to really care about him at like 16-17. I think he still resents Dazai though. Dazai was kind of horrible to him. But I think he has forgiven him for it on some level, like he’s forgiven every other character who has ever wronged him. (Forced proximity does a lot for Chuuya I guess idk)

Sometimes I think I kind of just ship it as one-sided with Dazai being on-again-off-again obsessed with Chuuya, but every time he expresses it Chuuya’s just like “you crazy bitch”. But sometimes I enjoy it as mutual. Depends on the day really.

I don’t think it’s particularly healthy, but I don’t really care. I don’t think ANY of Dazai’s relationships are actually healthy, and the only healthy relationships Chuuya had were Adam and the flags. So it… checks out…

I think the fanon version of them used to be SO out of character like 3 years ago, but ever since Stormbringer came out the fandom got a lot less obnoxious about them. Because they actually have a canon past dynamic to go off of. It’s a lot less cutesy and “they only care about eachother🥺” than it used to be.

I think I enjoy their dynamic outside of shipping because it gives someone who knew Dazai well in the past, who he has wronged, who at the time was generally viewed as a more upstanding person than him, but is now still on the “bad guys” side while Dazai attempts to redeem himself. It’s a really interesting angle. Like, Dazai probably does still think Chuuya’s a decent guy, but the people who he surrounds himself with now in an attempt to be better would probably still view Chuuya as a terrible person. He’s a murderer, he’s incredibly loyal to the guy Fukuzawa and Yosano have intense personal beef with, he bragged about selling out their powerless clerks to an enemy, and he’s all around hostile towards them. And yet, Dazai has always felt that Chuuya was more human than him, more feeling, more loyal and caring. But in the end, Dazai’s putting in the work to “be a good person” and Chuuya’s still stuck right where he was at fifteen, right where Dazai helped trap him. How fun.

Also I just kind of enjoy their bickering, but I think fan content leans too heavily into the Chuuya getting embarrassed thing, because sometimes he is but he’s also either pissed or like passive-aggressively indifferent about Dazai being annoying. You need a real mix of the three. And on that note, I’d argue if anyone’s a tsundere in that relationship it’s Dazai. He’s the one who’s making these grand declarations towards Chuuya and as soon as Chuuya’s like “…what the hell man?” he’s like “never mind. I hate you and I want you dead.” And it’s like… a pattern. Chuuya just gets angry at Dazai for completely reasonable things.

Chuuya’s not the only person I ship Dazai with if you were curious, because Dazai has chemistry with like half the cast. I’m more invested in Chuuya’s platonic relationships in general, but there are a few other ships involving him that I don’t mind.