#those glasses kind of ruin but I’m *trying* to accept them ok

[unhinged-nymph]

gorgeous golden boy ✨

[realcube]

haikyuu!! boys when you come out to them as bisexual  🏳️‍🌈

characters: yamaguchi, tsukishima & kenma

part two!!

tw// fem!reader, fluff, coming out, 

Tadashi Yamaguchi

ok so hot-take but i think yamaguchi is straight

(or maybe bi but with a heavy preference for females)

but rn he identifies as straight 

but like..he���s so supportive of the lgbtq+ community

like tsukishima gives off ‘gay but homophobic’ energy

but yamaguchi has ‘straight but a strong ally’ energy

and this is hugely bc while tsukishima fell down the alt-right pipeline, yamaguchi was going through that ‘women 😍🤩💕’  phase which i think every WLW has went through at one point

like while tsukishima was watching ‘sjw get rekt compliation #125′ , yamaguchi was watching those heart-wrenching lgbtq+ short films on youtube 

and on tiktok his fyp was probably originally cottagecore (bc it’s his ideal lifestyle ofc) and somehow he is now kinda on sapphic cottagecore tiktok 

like not to fetishize them or anything, just bc he’s awed by how in love they are and that’s kinda what he wants for himself

(also he uses them as date inspo for you and him DFBZVAYUL)

anyway this was just my lengthened explanation as to why - unbeknownst to you or anyone - he was an ally to the lgbtq+ community (if not apart of it)

you didn’t really expect him to be disgusted or unsupportive of it tbh - i mean, it’s tadashi ffs! 💞 you know he’d never break up with you or judge you for something like that, but that didn’t stop you from being slightly nervous

but he was ten times more nervous when you texted him, asking for him to meet you by the local park’s fountain bc you had something important to tell him

mans thought you were dying ngl

he almost burst out crying on the walk to the park bc he imagined a whole scenario where he was sitting next to your fkn death-bed 

but you seemed healthy enough so his next assumption was that you were going to break-up with him

so when he approached you by the water fountain and you noticed that his eyes were glossy and his hair was damp with sweat, you were quite worried for him now

‘tadashi! are you okay?! your eyes are all puffy and red! do you have hay fever?’

yamaguchi rapidly shook his head, hastily escorting you to a nearby park bench so you could sit down beside him, ‘it’s nothing; what is it that you want to tell me?’

‘oh’ you choked, quickly averting your gaze from his kind, damp eyes. ‘it’s- um, i don’t-’ you cut yourself off, mentally cursing at yourself as you had practised what you were going to say to him hundreds of times before he arrived yet you still couldn’t stammer it out

yamaguchi was hanging on each word you uttered, but once he noticed that you were struggling, he placed his hands upon yours and shot you a reassuring smile

you let out a sigh in hopes to relieve your nerves while rehearsing what you were gonna say one more time in your head before blurting it out,

‘babe, erm, i’ve been questioning for a while and i’ve concluded that i’m bi - as in bisexual; and i just thought i’d tell you bec--’

you genuinely thought that you might have to explain to yamaguchi what bisexual means so IMAGINE your surprise when he simply replies, ‘you’re bisexual? is that all you wanted to tell me?’ and once you hum in agreement, he lets out a heave of euphoric relief

‘(y/n), please don’t make fun of me but on the way here, i was almost gonna cry because i thought you were going to tell me something horrible.’ he clutched his chest, breathing heavily - usually he’d never admit to something like that but right now, he felt that it was appropriate

you snickered at his rather exaggerated actions, ‘awh, baby. i’m sorry.’ a pout formed on your lips as you soothingly rubbed his back.

yamaguchi rapidly shook his head before turning the tables and rubbing your back instead, ‘nonono, it’s fine! i’m fine!- and i’m glad you’re fine too.’ he stumbled, hastily placing a kiss on your cheek before whispering in your ear, ‘i’m so proud of you. congratulations!’

although you couldn’t see his face, you could tell from his light voice that he was beaming 

after that, he buried his nose into the crook of you neck and snaked his arms around your waist to pull you into a hug, which you both stayed in for a good 5 minutes

Kei Tsukishima

let’s be honest, tsukki’s definitely part of the lgbtq+ community but in deep denial

like if you ask him, he’s not even questioning his gender or sexuality, he’s just ✨straight ✨

so when you just randomly joked one day ‘oi, four-eyes, turn this shit off. she’s too much for my lil’ bi heart to handle.’ while y’all were watching a movie and you instinctively made an off-hand comment about how gorgeous the female lead was 

upon realising what you just said, you turned to him with the most awkward grin plastered on your face, ‘tsukki, i’m bisexual, by the way.’

‘no shit, sherlock.’ he hissed at your use of that little nickname 

you turned your head to look at him as you blinked rapidly, finally  mentally processing his response 

while he did the exact same thing simultaneously, dramatically turning his head to meet your gaze before muttering, ‘was that you coming out?’

your eyes widened as you realised, then nodded slowly

tsukishima smirked, shifting his attention back onto the movie, ‘congrats.’ he spoke in a mellow voice, a slight sense of amiability laced into his tone 

‘thanks-’

‘have you told your parents yet?’ he quirked a brow, his eyes remaining glued to the screen

you hesitated before shaking your head, ‘no.’ 

‘what about your friends?’

‘yeah, i came out to my friend group a few months ago - along with yamaguchi.’

tsukishima couldn’t help but frown at the fact you came out to yamaguchi before him but honestly, he couldn’t blame you - he was aware that his bitchy exterior probably discouraged you from telling him sooner, so he was just glad that you had the confidence to tell him eventually  

‘so how long have you known that you’re, like, y’know, bi?’  he inquired further

‘a while.’ you hummed, biting your bottom lip, internally so relieved that he wasn’t being too awkward or weird about it

‘good for you.’ he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, not a hint of sarcasm or irony detected in his voice for a change, ‘oh, and good luck with coming out to your parents’

‘thank you.’ you murmur, happily shifting your attention back onto the movie

 tsukishima honestly doesn’t mind/care tbh

like he’s supportive and will beat a bitch up if they don’t accept you - but in general, he thinks that it’s none of his business who you love

as long as it is him (ಥ _ ಥ) 

Kenma Kuzome

ok so fun story 

you were both chilling in his room on a saturday, he was playing on his nintendo switch as always and you were on your phone

you had been meaning to come out to him for a while now but every time you tried, it seemed as though something happened to prevent you from doing so 

for example, you tried to come out to him while y’all were chilling at the park but then a bunch of geese started terrorizing y’all and it completely ruined the mood

so you thought that now you were in his room - where there was less of an abundance of geese - it’d be a better time than any to just lift the burden that had been weighing on your chest

you were as nervous as any one would be but you kept on trying to reassure yourself that kenma would be supportive 

however, he had never discussed any lgbtq+ related issues with you so you had no idea where he stood with that sort of stuff but tbh, he doesn’t give off homophobic vibes 

after a while of staring at the wall and working up the courage, you finally spoke up, ‘hey, kenma. i think i might be bi.’

you mentally cursed at yourself as you didn’t ‘think’ that you are bi but rather you knew that you are bi, yet you felt the need to add that filler just in case things went sour

he perked up upon hearing this and turned to look at you, a small smile gracing his lips, ‘okay, that’s cool. congratulations.’ 

you couldn’t help but beam back at him, ‘thanks, babe.’ you almost whispered, gladly going back to whatever you were doing on your phone

honestly, you were happy to leave the interaction at that - i mean, his brief and calm response was satisfying beyond expected, as it was probably the least awkward way that could’ve possibly gone down

however, what happened next filled you with endless amounts of euphoria 

‘oh, and (y/n).’ kenma said to grab your attention, ‘i’m bisexual.’

you did a double-take 

your instincts told you to throw yourself into his arms and rave on about how proud you are that he had the courage to come out but after a moment of reflection, you had a better idea

‘okay, that’s cool. congratulations.’

kenma automatically pouted at how you used his own words against him when he was clearly expecting a hug, ‘(y/n)..’ he whined lowly, shifting his gaze back onto his game

but you were weak so ofc you pulled him into a hug as you both muttered sweet, reassuring things into each other’s ears

‘i love you so much, (y/n) no matter what.’

‘i know.’ you snickered.

‘bitch-’

‘i love you too. and i’m so proud of you for coming out - you’re so brave.’

‘aw, thanks. so are you, babe.’

‘i know’

kenma playfully nibbled at your neck for being such a clown during a sentimental moment

but anyway, you helped kenma come out so- yeah :))

[fific7]

Dangerous and Divine - Part 19

Billy Russo x Reader

Summary: Billy Russo is an itch you don’t want to scratch. But he’s all over you like a rash.

A/N: This does not follow canon, it’s mainly fluff & lemon zest 🍋 Hopefully you’ve guessed by now that is my “Billy Russo Deserves Real Love AU” as I totally refuse to accept what happened in S2! The GIF is from Exposed, unreleased pilot show in case you’re wondering 😌... Billy vibes.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content including oral and unprotected* sex between consenting adults. Some drinking & swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My GIF)

He was supporting a swaying and loose-limbed Billy Russo, who was looking at you with big wide eyes and a goofy smile on his face.

Frank grinned at you, “Uhhh... someone’s had a bit too much to drink,” he said gruffly. “I think he needs to lie down.”

You stood up and went over to the two men, taking Billy’s other arm and draping it over your shoulder. “C’mon, Frank... let’s get this drunken mess into his bed.”

“Heyyyyy,” came Billy’s slurred voice, “M’not a drinkin’ mess.” He hiccuped, “Drunken.” Another small hiccup, “Just had coupla whishkies, s’all.” Frank gave you an apologetic look over the top of Billy’s lolling head as you both shuffled him along towards his bedroom.

Some of your clothes and underwear were lying around in there, and you quickly scooted out from under Billy’s arm to grab and tidy them away. As you did, Billy slowly drooped over to one side like a giant plant someone had forgotten to water, and Frank took more of a grip on him. “I’ll just drop him on the bed and leave you to it,” he grinned and dumped his tall friend on it as he spoke, before turning and leaving the bedroom.

“Help yourself to a drink, Frank,” you yelled as the door closed.

Billy had faceplanted onto the pillows as Frank had dropped him, and now gave a long groan. You sat next to him on the bed, sighing and stroking his shoulder, “Oh Billy.” “Mmmfffhh?” “Let’s get these clothes off you.” He rolled over onto his back, smirking and trying to focus his eyes on you. “Yeah!!!” he yelled, making you jump.

“So you can go to sleep, you big drunkard,” you laughed.

“Nahhhh, wannahavesexwithyouangel,” he slurred. You didn���t answer, just started taking his clothes off; his leather jacket and his t-shirt came off first, and then you unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. His hips started doing a kind of hula-hula dance against your hand, “Mmmhmmmm.... yes.... angel,” he mumbled, eyes beginning to close. You took his boots off before whipping off his jeans, then rolled him over a bit so you could pull the covers over him.

You kissed his lips, smelling the whisky on him and stroking his hair back off his forehead. “I love you, Billy,” you whispered, “...you big drunken fool,” and went to stand up. A hand whipped out from under the sheets, grabbing your wrist surprisingly firmly and you heard him mumble, “M’not drunk... love you too, sweetheart.” Then his hand fell back down onto the bed, and you heard little soft snores starting to issue from his mouth.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Walking back into the living room, you surprised Frank and Karen just as they were having a little makeout session on the couch. They sprang apart, Frank going pink. Another blushing Marine, you chuckled to yourself as you winked at Karen.

“Anyone need a top-up?” you asked, picking up your nearly-empty glass. Karen shook her head, and Frank replied, “Nah, m’fine, thanks. We’d better get goin’. Billy OK?” You grinned, heading to the kitchen, “Out like a light.”

He looked serious for a second, “Y’know he’s takin’ this really hard? He’s tryin’ to pretend he ain’t, but he is. He only had a few whiskies and boom, he was wasted. Billy can usually sink double that amount before it begins to even show.”

You heaved out a deep sigh, lordy now even Frank was hitting you with the guilt trips. “I haven’t actually said ‘No’ to him y’know, Frank,” you said patiently, pouring yourself another G&T. Walking over to one of the armchairs and sitting down, you continued, “We’re just putting the brakes on a little bit.” Frank shrugged, “He’s worried you’re gonna change your mind about bein’ with him, and you’re usin’ this as an excuse to ditch him.” Frank suddenly laughed, “He’ll kill me for tellin’ you that!”

“He’s said more or less the same to me already, so don’t worry about it.” You took a big sip of your drink, “And I promise I’m not doing that, Frank. I just really don’t want the two of us to ruin this by rushing into it.”

Frank looked a little bit happier, and Karen chipped in, “It does make sense, Frank. They’ve fallen for each other so fast. I think it’s wise to take a moment and think carefully before they take such a big step.” ”Yeah,” you nodded, “...thank you, Karen. I do already love Billy, and it’s scary how fast it’s happened, but I’m not going to change my mind about that.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

After the two of them had left, you tidied up the previous night’s remnants of dinner and cleared the table. Then you made yourself a quick snack, eating it in front of the TV while watching some cop show. It wasn’t that late, but you felt quite tired and decided to join your drunken sleeping boyfriend in bed.

Climbing in carefully next to him, you’d just laid your head on the pillow when you smelt whisky fumes approaching you. Billy was fast asleep, but somehow he still managed to scoot over towards you and then two arms got you in a bear hug. His face nuzzled into your neck, and you heard a little sigh.

Your guilty thoughts swirling round in your mind, you eventually managed to drift off to sleep.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Not surprisingly, you woke up before Billy the next morning and took a moment to gaze fondly at his sleeping face. His mouth was open a little, and you could hear those cute little soft snores of his. A lock of hair had fallen across one eye, and he was screwing up his face every few seconds as it tickled him.

You moved it away from his face, and he settled back down. Getting up carefully, you headed for the kitchen to make him breakfast, and decided he would need something to soak up all the alcohol.

About five minutes later, bacon sizzling, eggs and hash browns frying, you heard a big yawn behind you and turned to find Billy standing there in just his briefs. He rubbed his hands up and down his face a few times, then looked at you bleary-eyed. “Mornin’, sweetheart,” you heard, his voice a bit croaky. Smiling at him, you gestured to the table, “Morning, poppet. How’s that head of yours?” He screwed his face up a bit, “Not good.” You picked up the glass of water and packet of painkillers you’d got ready and handed them to him.

“Take these, then you’re gonna have some breakfast and a cup of tea, then a shower. You might feel a little more human by then.”

He popped a couple of the painkillers out of the pack, tossed them into his mouth and took a big gulp of water. He grinned, “Haven’t felt this bad for a long time.” You’d turned back to attending to the food, “Frank said you only had a few. Got wasted really quickly.” “Drinkin’ on an empty stomach,” he shrugged, as you turned back to look at him, “...not a good idea.” “He also said you’re still worrying that I’m using this as an excuse to ditch you.” He scowled, “Big snitch.” “Now, Billy - you’d said as much to me yourself.”

“He’s still snitchin’,” he grumbled, “....told him that in confidence.” You served up the bacon, eggs and hash browns and put the loaded plate in front of him. “Eat!” you ordered, and he obediently took the cutlery you held out to him and started tucking in. “Mmmm,” he said through a mouthful of it, “S’good.” “Need to soak up all that alcohol swilling around you,” you grinned, sitting down with your own plate. “But you had a good boy chat with Frank, yeah?”

He nodded, “Yeah. Felt good to unload.” You reached over and stroked his hand, “Billy.... I’m not going to ditch you. Really. Truly. Honestly. I need you to believe that.” His big eyes met yours, “I do believe you.” You shook your head, “I don’t think you really do, you big sap.” He grinned, “I think I prefer ‘poppet’, you know.” “Don’t try and change the subject, Billy.” He ate another forkful of egg and hash brown, chewing thoughtfully for a moment before saying, “I really want to believe it, but I’m really scared you’ll leave me.”

You grabbed his hand, “Billy, truly - I’m not going to leave you.” He nodded, big dark eyes looking into yours, “I hear you. I’ll try not to be scared anymore.” You suddenly had a vision of a really young Billy, offloaded by his uncaring mother onto the state system of group homes. Oh... okay, of course. Abandonment issues. Getting up, you threw your arms around him and pulled him close to you. “I’m not like your mother, Billy. I’m not going to throw you away, I’m going to keep you as close as close can be.”

He smiled up at you, hand stroking your cheek, “Okay, sweetheart. I like the sound of that.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Packing Billy off to the shower in the main bathroom, you tidied up in the kitchen and then headed to the en-suite to take one yourself. As you were drying off, you heard your phone vibrate and saw a text from Karen pop up.

Karen: Hey, you. How’s Billy doing this morning?

You: Hey yourself. He’s got the hangover from hell.

Karen: Look, I just wanted to let you know, Frank’s really worried about him. Hasn’t seen him like this before.

You: It literally just dawned on me at breakfast, he’s got abandonment issues, cos of his mother, you know? So I just told him, I’m not like her. I’m going to keep him close.

Karen: Oh yeah, of course! OK that’s good you told him that. Just keep reinforcing it!

You: I will. How’re you two?

Karen: Good ;) if you know what I mean....

You: Hahahah yes I do! OK - have fun! ;)

Then it occurred to you that you’d better let your team know that you wouldn’t be in the next couple of days, as you had some Billy baby-sitting to do. Not that you were about to let them know the reason for you ditching work.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

No sign of Billy as you went back into the living area, in fact the apartment was really silent, suspiciously so. Heading to the sofa, you were suddenly tackled from behind and thrown down face first onto the sofa.

“You owe me,” growled Billy’s voice in your ear, and the t-shirt and tracksuit bottoms you’d just put on were systematically stripped off you, along with your underwear. He wasn’t in any mood to wait, and he entered you from behind with one deep thrust. You gave a big gasp and a squeal as you felt the immediate stretch, and he smoothed your hair with one big hand, “Ssssh, sweetheart, you’ll get used to it in a minute,” he whispered. Then he began thrusting into you, fast and deep, kissing your neck and shoulders as he kept you pinned down underneath him.

There was nothing much you could do from where you lay, could only continue to let Billy aggressively pound into you from behind, soft grunts escaping his lips every few seconds. He just kept on going, and you found yourself wondering if this was a punishment of some kind, Billy taking back his usual position of control because he suddenly felt powerless. Then you wondered why you were feeling the need to psychoanalyse him right at this particular moment. Probably because you were surprised by this turn of events, Billy never having been this dominant with you before.

You weren’t sure how you felt about it. On the one hand, you weren’t sure you liked being thrown down and rutted on by your boyfriend-turned-caveman. But on the other hand, a tiny guilty voice in your head said, you’re actually quite turned on by it, aren’t you?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You felt Billy’s hand grip your arms even more firmly, and you heard, “You’re mine!” in your ear, followed by, “Who’s your Alpha Male? Huh? Who is it?” You squirmed under him, “You are, Billy.” A long low groan from him and you knew he was going to come very soon. “Yeah,” he gasped, “...and don’t you forget it, angel.” Then you felt the tension in his body which you knew signalled his climax and he released with a groan, giving a few final thrusts into you.

You felt his body weight increase as he relaxed down onto you, then he rolled off you, pulling out as he did so. He lay squashed between you and the back of the sofa, panting and looking up at the ceiling. Still feeling a little irritated, you said quietly, “That make you feel better, Billy? Big neanderthal vibes going on there?” He eventually looked across at you, shamefaced, “Sorry.” He gazed away and back upwards, “I’m sorry. Dunno what came over me.”

You turned towards him, laying your hand on his cheek, “I think you feel as if you’re not in control, Billy. So you decided to try and take it back.”

His dark eyes turned back towards you, “I think you’ve hit the nail on the head, sweetheart. But I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. So, yeah - I’m sorry.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d taken another quick shower, re-dressed and made your way back to the living area. When Billy had jumped you, he’d been naked as the day he was born, but now he was in t-shirt and jogging bottoms, perched on the edge of the sofa. His head was down, looking at his fingers as he twisted them in his lap. He looked like a kid who’d been sent to sit on the naughty step.

Sitting down next to him, you put your arms around him and kissed his cheek. “Billy,” you whispered, “...it’s alright. I know you’re hurting, but we’ll get past this okay? I love you.” He hugged you back, and you noticed that his cheeks were damp. “Oh, Billy! Don’t be upset, please.” “I’m so sorry. I just feel like I’m going into meltdown or somethin’.” His mouth found yours and the two of you shared a passionate kiss.

You pulled back slightly, looking at him. His eyes were still big, wide and a little glossy as you looked into them, and you kissed his nose. Just what had you done to this man?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Persuading Billy to go out for a walk before lunch, the two of you strolled round the neighbourhood, dodging dog-walkers and joggers as you went. After working up a bit of an appetite, you headed to the diner you’d been to before.

There was a different server working that day, a girl who had obviously decided that you were invisible and addressing all her attention to Billy. You sighed a big sigh and Billy caught this, saying to the waitress, “And my beautiful almost-fiancée will have.....?” looking over and smiling at you. She gave you a very false smile, waiting for you to choose something but you were too busy smiling soppily back at Billy. You’d just realised that - despite his little caveman episode earlier on - you didn’t ever want any man except Billy in your life.

Still gazing into his dark chocolate eyes, you heard yourself saying, “I think I’ll have that ring, please.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@blackbirddaredevil23 @galaxyjane @omgrachwrites @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @ourloveisforthelovely @swthxrry

[supergirlimagine]

Who Knew pt.2

Hi! Thank you guys for all the cool new Requests I got! Def want to write some of those! My most requested was to write a Part two of a Story I wrote a while back! Sorry it Took me so long, I really hope that you guys like it! Lmk what you think and what else you wanna see! 

Thanks for all the love 

Who Knew pt.1 

It was way past her bedtime, Alex had to be up in the morning and shouldn’t stay up this late. God knows she needed the sleep. But these kind of things just keep you up, at least that’s what she'd tell herself. It had been about two weeks now since she had seen you in that Bar with that...guy. Two weeks since she had felt your lips on hers. Touching her Lips absently at the thought, as if she would find yours there. As if you were still with her and not God knows where, doing God knows what. But that wasn't her problem, right? She tried to help! She really did. Sure, knocking your Boyfriend out might have not been the best Plan, but who can blame her? The way he touched you, the way he- he tried to possess you. It truly disgusted her. And she offered you help! She told you to come Home with her that Night and that she would help out in any way she could. But you had refused. Your Pride was greater than your Pain, however even possible. You had scooped up your drunken and bruised excuse of a Boyfriend and stumbled with him out of the Alleyway, leaving one last glance over your shoulder as you rounded the corner. Walking out of view and out of Alex's Life. The brunette Feet frozen solid to the ground. Alcohol and Adrenaline pumping through her veins, her Lips feeling like yours again and her knuckles stinging. 

The worst thing? She couldn't even blame you. No, she couldn’t even be mad at you if she had the right to. Because she was the one who ended things this way. You were easy to love and easy to fall in love with. Alex, at the time,  was in love with you. Just..not enough. It was too soon and too fast and the feelings were too familiar to the ones she had with her Ex-Fiance. That alone was too good to be true, right? No one gets two great loves in the span of a short time. No, Maggie was her one shot at happiness and she ruined it. She wasn't allowed to walk around acting like she deserved more love from someone as caring and kind hearted as you. She started to feel her love for you run deeper each day, so she really had no other choice. What else was she supposed to do, other than to end it before it got too far and someone really got hurt. But she could see now, it was already too late for that, because someone had already gotten hurt. Lucky for her, it was the other Party. Alex knew that she subconsciously always kept you at Arm's length, because deep down she always knew it would end. That was Information unfortunately only one of you had, as you freely and childishly fell more and more into love. You feel hard, thinking someone would be there, ready to catch. She always knew that wasn’t going to be her, but having you around and unconditionally love her, just felt way too good to let go at that Time. And thats the fucked up Part. 

Alex tried in the days following the Incident to find you and to make contact with you, clearly seeing you were in trouble  and you needed help even though you would never accept it from her. Even with the help from Kara, you stayed hidden. That was, up until this Moment, when an unsure knock made Alex turn away from the city Lights through she was staring at though her window. It was late so she grabbed her Gun from under the sofa cushion and looked through the Peephole. Her breath caught when she saw you standing on the other side, looking over your shoulder and fidgeting. 

“(Y/N)...”, she breathed out and unlocked the door in a hurry, being scared to move her eyes away from the Peephole. The irrational fear that you'd be gone by the time she swung the Door open, growing with every Lock turning. 

But there you were. An oversized hoodie hanging off you and almost reaching your knees, your naked calves almost looking blue from the cold. You were holding a bag of your shoulder, the Hoodie covering up half your Face as you looked at each other in Silence for a beat just too long to be comfortable. 

“Can I come in, please?” , you sounded tired. 

“Oh..yeah, of course. Sorry, come in.”,  Alex stepped away and you moved past her and  inside, the Door locking behind you. Silence again. 

“I don't need anything from you. I’m sorry I’m showing up late and unannounced. I just need one Night”,  You spoke with your Back still turned to her.  Not ready for eye contact and then unpacking what you would find in them. 

“(Y/N)..I-”, Alex words were coming out shaky. 

“Alex. Please don't make me beg, don't make me explain. Please, I just need one Night. That's it. Ill be gone after that. That's all I'm asking for.”,  You turned around after you last word, trying your best to seem sure of yourself. 

Alex was shocked when she got a good look of you in the Living Room light. Your Eyes were bloodshot and puffy, half of your right eye and cheek were hiding under your Hoodie and Hair, but even then she could see the swelling and a dark bruise casting a shadow over that part of your Face. Your Hands looked cold with dried Blood between your Fingertips and bruised knuckles. She couldn't help but stare. The bag over your shoulder was actually hers. It was the same one you had packed all these Years ago. You didn't have one at the time she pretty much kicked you out of her Apartment and she let you have it. It looked worn out now, used up from moving around so much and probably never seeing the comfort of being packed away in a closet. It looked like it lived by the front Door, always ready to grab and be on the road again. 

You dropped the Bag on the floor with an exhausted exhale, which made Alex catch up with her Brain, which was still going a Million Miles an hour. 

“Yes”, she cleared her throat 

“Yes, of course. Uhm, let me get you something more comfortable to sleep in.” 

Your stance relaxed a little bit, grateful knowing you would be warm and safe at least for the Night. 

“Thank you.”, you avoided her eyes and sat down on the couch.

She came back with a set of clothing a little bit later, having left you a couple more Minutes to adjust yourself to the new and at the same time familiar sensation of being here. She laid the clothes down next to you and sat on the coffee table directly in front of you. Not having any answers was killing her, this was all just not right. 

“(Y/N)”

“I don't want to talk about it, ok? Like I said just one Night, you owe me that much”, your voice was harsh. Risky for someone who really needed the help right now, but you couldn't stop yourself. 

“Will you at least tell me if you are hurt. Please?” she tilted her head down, trying to catch your eyes. Silence. 

Alex reached out trying to hold your Face, to turn it and have a better look, but you wouldn't let her. Pulling away by moving down the cushion, away from her line of vision. Her hand still raised, she exhaled in defeat before dropping her Arm again. She got up without trying for eye contact again and poured you a glass of Water and grabbed some Tylenol from the Cabinet. She set it down on the Coffee Table and looked at you once again. You had the clothes in your lab now waiting for her to leave so that you could change and then silently cry yourself to sleep. You were exhausted. It took you a lot to swallow all your Pride to show up here, but you had no other choice. It was this or the Streets, knowing the Shelter was already closed at this time. 

“I don't know what happened to you and I am not pushing you for answers. I am just worried. Believe it or not, I care about you. A Lot. I just want you to be safe.”, she stooped to take a deep Breath.

You were listening, but not moving a Muscle. 

“Just..Please. (Y/N), please be here in the Morning. Just be here. Whatever you are fighting. I want to help.” She sounded sincere. 

All of this was in complete contrast to your last meeting. Which had been physical, passionate, full of surprise, suppressed anger and raw emotions. This was different, this was open and vulnerable. It was soft in the way that makes you forget all the bad stuff that ever happened and made you want to let go into the Person. Curl up and never let go. Yet, you stoped yourself. That's not what you came here for, not at all. You just needed to sleep. 

Silence, another beat. Alex started to walk toward her Bed, you heard her climbing up the steps and getting into Bed. She turned off the Light by her bedside, leaving you with the lamp in the living Room as the only source of Light. Sitting for another Moment, exhaustion overtook you once more, so you threw on the Sweats and switched out your oversized Hoodie for a clean Shirt. You grabbed a blanket from the basket next to the table, downed the glass of Water and turned the light off, laying your head on a pillow. 

“Yeah. I’ll be here. I promise.”, You spoke into the darkness, knowing she could hear you and that she was listening. 

Sleep overtook you in what felt you just seconds later. 

[polin-erospsyche]

The prompt number 16 is quite interesting lol 16. “Control your anger or you’ll have me to worry about.” Choose the ship/character you like :)

Hello! Ok, there are literally zero reasons as to why it took me a year to write this bloody thing except maybe that I had some not fun moments and also this literally never could have been written if I hadn’t waited this long. I don’t know if you’ll read it. You’ve probably forgotten about this in all fairness but if you do read it I hope you like it. 

Also taking this opportunity to thank everyone for following me. I’m at 400 followers! This is insane. I’m not sure why you’re all following tbh but to celebrate I forced myself to finish this long overdue fic, hope you like it! Also disclaimer: I love all of the characters from TLH. I am aware of the existing debate around Matthew and Alastair and my writing in here does not represent my point of view. But I I decided to represent Matthew and his view in this way for story telling purpose. Please don’t come at me with gun blazing. If you do wanna talk, we can, but in peace 😊💕

Somewhere Where Our Shadows Meet, It Feels Like Coming Home - 

a Fairdale one-shot (is that even their brotp name???) 

This was the fifth time James was rereading the passage of the book he had picked up. It was no use. Each time he finished the page he had already forgotten the beginning. His mind was foggy with a multitude of thoughts. Thoughts about Lucie and her strange dalliance with a boy who used to be a ghost, about Grace which inevitably led to unsolicited questions on his own identity, and, as much as he tried not to think about it, thoughts of Matthew and Cordelia. He really did not enjoy these last kinds of thoughts. He couldn’t help but imagine what kind of relationship could have blossomed between the two during their trip to Paris. He knew how Matthew felt, but when it came to Cordelia, he had no single clue. He constantly wondered as to whether she hated or loved him. Daring to hope that he hadn’t ruined everything. Just for that hope to vanish the next second because there was no possible way he did not ruin it. And even if ever decided to ask her, he would have no idea how to approach the topic without sounding like an arrogant bastard.  

James let out a long breath, rolling his shoulders, trying to let go of the tension. He was pretty sure that if he ventured to look at himself in the mirror that was hung above the chimney, he would see huge dark circles beneath his eyes. Circles which color could rival the color of London’s night sky. A result of many nights plagued by bad dreams and worry. During some of those sleepless nights, James had gone to Cordelia’s room. The first time it was under the pretext of looking for books. Her room had been full of her personal belongings. A bottle of perfume on her vanity table, an evening dress carefully laid out on the chaise longue, a copy of Majun and Layla on her bedside table. So many little pieces of who Cordelia was scattered in a room she had run away from. She hadn’t been back to Curzon street since that night. Upon arriving in London, she had decided to move back with her mother using the excuse of the soon-to-be new baby’s arrival. James kept going to her home though, eventually admitting to himself that he did so because of the smell of Jasmin that lingered. It was the closest thing he had to a semblance of her presence in the house. It was a soft smell that grounded him. It was also a heady smell that reminded him of the sweetness he had lost.

He shook himself out of thoughts of her. Something he had gotten quite good at to be fair, considering how many times he thought of her in the span of a day. Pushing himself up from the table he was leaning against, he closed the book he was reading, giving up on understanding it, and made his way to the window. Outside the sky was tinged in pastel colors drawing the day to a close. James would slowly make his way back home. He would rehash the day, come up with new plans to wake his sister from her deep sleep, find out that these plans would fail again come morning, and finally decide that he would need to eat a bite because going to bed with an empty stomach was just not advisable. His parents had offered for him to stay at the Institute with them but James had refused. He preferred the calm and silence of Curzon Street. He found that the bittersweet cloak that covered his house was, in some ways, almost reassuring. Maybe he was going insane. Just when he was ready to go bid his goodnight to his family, he heard the doors of the library open wide behind him and slammed shut again.

“Did you know?” Matthew growled. James might have thought that he himself had gone slightly deranged chasing down the smell of Jasmin throughout his home, but at least he did not look half as unhinged as Matthew looked right this instant. Matthew’s eyes were wide, his pupils dilated, and his fist clenched so tight his knuckles were turning white.

“Are you alright?” James asked, keeping an even tone.

“Did you know?”

“Know what?”

Matthew took a few strides in James’ direction. His stare holding James’ gaze in place as if daring James to contrary him. “Did you know about Thomas?”

“Um yes,” James nodded, a sly smile playing on his lips. “I do know Thomas.” At that Matthew narrowed his eyes and almost seemed as if he was trying hard not to grind his teeth. Noted. Attempts at humor and alleviating the situation were not going to work. “What about him?” James tried again. His smile replaced by a serious gaze.

“Did you know about Alastair?” Matthew asked, almost spatting out Alastair’s name.

James took a few steps back, reinstating the much-needed personal space for such a conversation. James did know about Alastair, but only because Thomas had looked so miserable and James had pried so insistently that Thomas had had no choice but to give up his well-kept secret. James had understood, sometimes you couldn’t choose who you fell in love with. Sometimes you fell in love with something that only you saw in the other person. Love was usually shrouded in mystery this way, best not to question how it worked. Obviously, by the look of things, Matthew did not agree.

“Please sit down,” James pointed to one of the green velvet armchairs. “I’ll pour you a drink.” James said, making his way to the stash of liquor in one of the dark wooden commodes. James had always wondered what kind of people, for what kind of situation kept alcohol in the library of all rooms. It always seemed to him that a secret stash of tea would have been more appropriate. Now he understood what kind of situation required people to put alcohol in every room, even if it was just one abandoned bottle of Parkmore. “Is Whiskey alright?” James turned his head in Matthew’s direction.

“So you knew?” Matthew answered, seemingly in a staring competition with the mustard yellow wallpaper in front of him. “He told you?”

Whiskey it would be for a total lack of all other present choices James thought as he started to pour a glass.

Matthew kept going on his verbal onslaught towards the wallpaper. In all fairness mustard yellow was a color that could potentially enrage everyone. “How can he? It’s Alastair that we are talking about. It’s not as if there wasn’t any other man in London that Thomas couldn’t have a fling for.”

James very much doubted that a fling could start to describe Thomas’s feelings for Alastair. However, seeing how Matthew was nearly spitting out every single one of his words, he thought it safer not to share this piece of information.

“Matthew, please calm down and control your anger or you’ll have me to worry about.” James handed the glass to Matthew, which he waved away.

“No, thank you. I don’t drink.”

James squinted. “Since when?”

“Since Paris.”

James couldn’t help but feel a pinch in his chest at the mention of Paris. Paris city of lights, city of lovers. An escape his friend had taken with the only girl James had ever, truly, loved since he was barely old enough to understand the concept. It was a wondrous thing how much pain a single word could hold.

“What a strange place to decide to stop drinking.” James took a sip of the honey-colored liquid, trying to hide his hurt to the best of his ability.

“Cordelia asked me to. That was her condition for coming with me.”

James did not want to go in the general direction of a conversation that involved Cordelia. Especially not if that conversation was with Matthew. He had written a letter. James had understood. He slightly had the urge to strangle his best friend for going with her; for loving her; he did not quite know. But that was it. They hadn’t spoken of Paris nor of Cordelia together and that was for the best. Neutral conversations were for the best, they could avoid the hurt and the blame, and if James let it come to that again who knew what would be next. Yet he couldn’t help but ask.

“Why did you leave?”

Matthew turned to James, his anger receding ever so slightly. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” A beat, a choice to either keep going or retreat before it is too late. A beat, a choice to see where this could go “why did you go to Paris?”

“You owe me an answer first. Did you know about Alastair?”

“Yes.”  

“How could you not tell me?”

“You weren’t here Matthew.” James’ voice almost broke, almost. “How was I supposed to tell you anything?”

James had wanted to throw so much more at Matthew’s face. Throw words that he wouldn’t be able to take back. He had been feeling so alone. So utterly lost after Grace’s admission. After Cordelia’s departure. He had needed his best friend. He had wanted to tell him so much, to figure it all out with him. To have Matthew hold him at times when he didn’t know if he could hold it up together and tell him, simply, that he believed in him. But Matthew hadn’t been in London. He had been in Paris. Happy. With Cordelia.

“And you accept it?” Matthew asked, carefully studying James.

“I guess it depends on what we are talking about. In any case,” James turned away from the fireplace to look at his friend. “why are you so against it if it makes Thomas happy?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because Alastair doesn’t deserve to be loved?”

“Maybe it is more about deserving a second chance rather than deserving of love. Maybe it is about getting a chance to fix your mistakes. Surely no one is worthless of that.”

“Sometimes the mistakes are too big to fix.” Matthew shrugged, breaking eye contact.

“Is that why you ran away?” The question was asked so softly as if asked any louder and James would be terrified to see Matthew run away again. James wasn’t sure he could bear it, no matter how much frustration towards Matthew he still felt.  

“I didn’t run.” Matthew shook his head. His gaze far and distant as if in another land, in a shadow realm. “I took a train, there’s a difference. And I left because of Cordelia.”

James had an inkling he hadn’t left because of Cordelia but rather Cordelia had followed in a desperate pursuit to drown both of their sorrows in the glamour of a city like Paris. After all, Paris was so similar to Matthew, it was no wonder he had chosen it. At the surface, both were golden and shining like a polished jewel box. Once that jewel box was open, however, shadows, pain, and sadness would pour out like a damn breaking loose.

“I never thought you’d try to run away from me.” James knelt in front of Matthew, his knees landing on the soft midnight blue carpet. “That one day, I’d become a part of the shadows that you try to outrun.”

Matthew turned around so fast and reached for James’ face. His green eyes were darker than usual. “You’re not my shadows, Jamie Bach. You’re my home. You are the reason why I still believe I’m worth being forgiven for.” He said those words like a damned man dying for a confession, following blindly a faith he held so dear to his heart, hoping that that faith could be his saving grace. James understood that he had become that faith.

“Forgiven for what?” James asked.  

“I can’t tell you.”

“It’s me, Matthew. What is so bad that you cannot tell me?”

“I can’t tell you because I’m afraid. I need you to stay with me. I need you to believe that I am good, even if it means that you believe in a lie.”

“Matthew …”

“If you keep choosing me and believing in me,” Matthew interrupted. If he couldn’t finish now, he never would. “then maybe I can believe that I am no monster.”

“You are not a monster, you are my parabatai.”

James felt like they were back on that bridge, at night, so close to being let in in Matthew’s secrets. Back then James hadn’t been in control of himself, he hadn’t known what was happening to him. He had lost his chance. It would not happen again. It could not happen again. James was so tired of walking a frayed rope line with Matthew, guessing at hinted truths. Being someone’s constant north took work and time and effort but because it was Matthew, James could do it. He would always do it and he needed Matthew to know that as clearly as they both knew that one day would come when they would both cross the other side together. Because after all, that was what it had always been about. Despite shadows and lies and deceptions and miscommunication, they would always be together. So James continued.  

“Do you know what that means? It means that I made a promise to you. I said entreat me not to leave thee, for wither thou goest, I will go. If aught but death part thee and me. I will not leave. No matter what you’ve done, I will stand by you, because that is the choice that I have made. That I still make. There is not a thing in this world that you could have done that would make me stop loving you, calon fy enaid.”

Matthew looked up at James and teased “Does that mean that you accept my feelings for Cordelia?”

“Don’t change the subject.”

“I must say, I don’t think I’m her type. It’s a pity, really.” Some strands of Matthew’s hair fell in his eyes as he shook his head. James could see the old Matthew again. The carefree one that balanced out his own shadows so well. The one he would choose and forgive a thousand times over because he too was his home.

“Matthew.”

“All right, all right.” Matthew threw his hands up in a mock gesture of surrender. “I just … wish you could promise that I would not lose you.”

“I promise.”

“You can’t promise something you don’t know.” Matthew said before he started to talk about his own misbeliefs that had led to a terrible accident. James listened and did not judge and stayed long in the night after Matthew had said everything that had weighted so heavy on his heart for so long. And somewhere, under the warm light of oil lamps and next to a warm fire, the frayed rope between the two started to mend and James could only describe the feeling as one of coming home.  

Tag List: @lady-ofroses @clockworknights @the-axewielding-herondale @tess-the-dreamer @coloandreablog

Do let me know if you want to be on the tag list and I’ll happily add you! (I have a tag list now visibly, wild and mind-blown) I will try to post more now that my exams are somewhat done. Who am I kidding? There will always be more stuff to do XD

[tinyboxxtink]

Build Me Up Buttercup *Epilogue*

Note: And that’s that, ladies and gents! I have been debating whether to write a sequel, because I found another Taylor Swift song that is perfect for them. [I’m sorry I love the song tie ins, OKAY?]

But I also promised someone I’d write more on my “Return To Sender” one shot, and I’m thinking of a story where the reader is a waitress at Fazzoli’s and has a crush on the ADA that’s always eating there....

What do ya’ll think? 

.....Aaaaand almost forgot @wanniiieeee @chasingeverybreakingwave

The COMPLETE Collection: 

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7 

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

~*Epilogue: One Year Later*~

“Thank you very much detective, we’ll see you next week!” 

You waved goodbye to the group of young ladies at your old campus. You had just started a program there that helped girls who had been assaulted get help physically, legally and mentally. It was your passion project that you had been working with Olivia and Rafael over the past year, and it was finally up and running. It was the greatest present for the day of you being promoted to full fledged detective at SVU. 

You were heading towards the edge of campus when your phone began going off, playing a customized ringtone:

Build me buttercup baby….

“Well hey there counselor, thought you’d be in court all day,” you grinned.

“They ended up taking a plea deal. What can I say, I’m a master negotiator,” you could hear the smirk on your boyfriend’s face through the phone.

“That’s not all you're the master of,” You lowered your voice suggestively, biting your lip with a smile. 

“Speaking of that, what are you doing right now, carino?”

“I’m leaving campus, but I’ve gotta go back to the office papi, no time for tontear,” You giggled, hearing him growl in allure.

“God I love it when you speak Española, mi vida,” 

“Well now you know how I feel all the time, mi amor,” 

“It just makes me wanna….” He started to speak but a grab from behind startled you, and you punched the assailant with your free hand-- only to see that it was Rafael.

“Oh my god!! Baby!! I am so sorry!!!” You dropped your phone and helped him up, checking every bit of his body making sure you hadn’t done any damage.

“It’s fine carino, I should know better than to sneak up on you,” He assured you, rubbing his neck. “Been working on that right hook, have you?” 

“I should come with a warning label I swear to God… are you sure you’re ok?” You smoothed out his clothes, adjusting his tie and what not until he took your hands and made you look at him. 

“I am better than okay, mi vida. And I have a surprise for you,” He smiled, taking an envelope out of his jacket pocket and handing it to you. You took it with curiosity, and when you pulled out the two pieces of paper your face lit up.

“TAYLOR SWIFT?!!! AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN?!!!! TONIGHT?!?!?!?!?!” You squealed, jumping into his arms. He spun you around with a laugh--

“Happy Anniversary, my love,” 

You pulled back a moment, stunned. Did you actually forget your anniversary?

“You mean, a year ago we….”

“You slashed your tires so that we could have sex, yeah that was a year ago,” He chuckled, then flat out started laughing when you hit him in embarrassment, looking at the people walking by. 

“I so did NOT--” You protested, but he shut you up with a kiss.

“Oh you so DID,” he stuck his tongue out playfully while escorting you to the curb you had finally reached, where a town car was waiting.

“Fancy!” You giggled, holding Rafa’s hand while you got in the car. Champagne and roses were there to greet you in the seat.

“Rafa! Baby…” You pulled him into another kiss, the two of you smiling like idiots.

“...Somebody wants some of the good stuff tonight,” You whispered, biting your lip and tugging at his belt. 

“Well I won’t say no to that-- but it might have to wait for a while, seeing as we’re going to have drinks with Taylor after the show,” Rafa couldn’t help but laugh at the size of your eyeballs.

“SHUT UP NO WAY REALLY?!?!?!?!” You couldn’t help but scream at this news, quickly noticing the driver wince in pain, you apologized but returned to freaking out at an acceptable decibel.

“Rafa are you serious? How did you even pull that off?!”

“....I told you, I’m a master negotiator,” he winked. A million thoughts started racing through your head as to just what that meant. What kind of negotiating? With whom did he negotiate? Was it money? Did he black mail Taylor Swift?!

Rafael recognized that distant look in your eyes when your mind took off on a trail, he turned your face to look him in the eyes.

“Hey, don’t overthink it baby. Just say ‘thank you papi’, and drink your champagne before it gets warm,” He took a glass and filled it up, handing it to you. 

“Thank you papi,” you rolled your eyes with a smile. You sipped your champagne when your eyes travelled to your less than elegant pantsuit pants.

“Oh my god wait, Rafa I can’t meet Taylor Swift like THIS--” You started to resume freaking out but before you had a chance, Rafael pulled out a bag from the front seat.

“What the--?” You grabbed it and looked inside; A cocktail dress in your favorite color and new Jimmy Choos to match.

“I know I ruined the last ones you had when you chased after me in the woods,” He chuckled.

“Outside that gas station in BFE? I was SO mad, oh my god I thought I was going to kill you!” You exclaimed, remembering that day vividly. You couldn’t believe that it had been an entire year since then, it felt like it flew by.

“Well, you’re sure lucky you didn’t,” He smirked, kissing your cheek as you tried on the shoes.

“I know right, I wouldn’t be meeting TAYLOR SWIFT!” You giggled at his grumpy cat response, his little pout was more adorable than intimidating, you couldn’t remember how you ever thought otherwise.

“Hey-- In all seriousness,” You took his hand. “I am so grateful for that road trip. I don’t know what I would have done if we hadn’t taken it,” 

“I’d like to think one of us would have eventually said something,” Rafael smiled.

“Probably me,” “Probably you” -- you both spoke at the same time, then laughed at the fact that you were both definitely right. God knows what scheme you would have concocted in the office just to get him alone. 

“But seriously, Y/N--- I think that road trip was destiny,” He looked into your eyes. 

“I love you, more than any woman I’ve ever known. Except my abuela,” 

“And your mom,”

Rafael made a face and shrugged. “Rafael!!” You hit him with a shocked giggle. 

“I love you, and I’m never letting you go,” He said with so much sincerity and love, it was killing you not to start crying; But your makeup was on point today!

“I love you Rafael Barba, more than anyone and anything. EVER,” You enunciated the last word, trying to convey just how far other people were down the list next to him. 

He could only smile back, because tears were choking up his own throat. He pulled you in for a deep, passionate kiss and afterwards just held you, as you two rode in that car on that perfect night. 

That night, Taylor Swift herself dedicated “Sparks Fly” to ‘Mr. Barba and his Buttercup,” and you two danced in the crowd as her voice rang out in the New York air:

Get me with those green eyes

Baby, as the lights go down

Give me something that'll haunt me

When you're not around

'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile

[kjhmyg]

christmas/ny (drabble)

pairing: jungkook x reader | jungkook x oc

genre: fluff, steamy at the end

words: 1.7k

summary: re!couple celebrating christmas and ny with jungkook after the holidays

a/n: um first of all, sorry. this is so bad im cry but also it’s kinda ok? idk. sorry anon if this isn’t what u wanted. i’ll try again next year 2022 lmao

𝄖

As patient as he is Jungkook can’t wait for your nightly call. You try to stay off your phone for the most part being back home, leaving time to talk to Jungkook only when it’s dark out. Of course, some days you miss him so much that you break that rule to sneak in a couple of texts or photos. Today’s not one of them. 

Unfortunately, he had missed your earlier call. Horrified seeing two notifications of your failed attempts to reach him, he’s decided not to do anything else till he hears your voice. 

Jungkook shoves a spoonful of Suga’s homemade microwave spaghetti into his mouth, eyes not leaving his phone.

“You’re staring at that thing so hard the screen’s going to crack.” Suga judges him from across the table. 

“I’m expecting a call.” 

“Yeah, I know.” He sighs, “But it’s not like your phone’s on silent. It’ll ring once she⎼”

Jungkook jumps within the first few seconds of his phone lighting up, your name flashing across the screen. Leaving Suga to himself, he rushes into the room and takes a deep breath before accepting the call. “Hi.”

“Hey you.” Your chirpy voice makes him smile. “Missed you earlier.” 

“I know, sorry. Was busy. Did you have fun today?” 

“It was okay. We got a cute little tree and I managed to do some really last minute shopping because I just found out my cousins will be here tomorrow night.” You sigh. “Did you miss me?” 

“So much. I hate being apart, you know that.” 

“Well I did offer you to come home with me.”  

Jungkook had declined again. He doesn’t think it’s the best time to introduce himself to your family yet. Though, he had no qualms about letting your dad know. Funny enough, you decided not to. But you’re certain you heard your grandmother telling him about the couple photo you have as your homescreen. 

“Maybe next time.” He hums, thinking about the possible future. 

“I think my dad will like you.” The sound of your giggles has him cheesing so hard. 

“Is that why you chickened out on telling him about us?” 

“I did not! The timing isn't right.” 

“Sure baby.” He laughs. “You’re not embarrassed of me are you?” 

“I’m embarrassed someone like you is even interested in me.” You both laugh and let the silence engulf you. “You know I love you right? I hope we can spend the holidays together next year.” 

“I hope so too.” There’s a tiny amount of sadness in there if you’re listening right. 

“I might not be able to call you the next few nights. Since my cousins will be over. I promise to text though.” You say. 

“That’s okay.” You hear the smile in his voice. “Just have fun okay? I’ll be here when you get back.”

“One more week.”

“Right. One week. Seven days. I’m sure I can handle being without you till then.” 

“Merry christmas my love.” You send him a kiss over the phone.

“Merry christmas to you too.” 

When the call ends ten minutes later, he trots back outside, face looking even worse than before. Suga, now done with his food, shakes his head disapprovingly as Jungkook takes his seat and goes back to the sad, cold dish in front of him. “You’re pathetic.” 

𝄖

Jungkook holds his breath as the train slowly comes to a stop at the platform. Yesterday was the first day of the new year, which means today’s the day you come back. He’d planned out his route. First he’d get coffee and bagels to-go with chocolate danishes for you, in case you hadn’t had anything during the long trip. Then a short stop at the florist to get you a single rose before going off to the station.

It gets messy as everyone starts alighting and he struggles to catch you among the crowd. That’s when you come into view, head popping out between other random faces, wrapped in a beanie and scarf. Your face lights up when you see him, making hurried steps and dragging your luggage behind you. 

“Jungkook!” You squeal, running into his arms. 

He kisses the side of your face. “Hey stranger.” 

“I’m so happy to see you.” You say, squeezing him tight. “How are you?”

“You’re asking me that as if we aren’t constantly texting each other.” He laughs, handing you the rose and letting you cling onto his arm with your luggage in his other hand, headed for the car. 

“I know I’m just trying to break the ice.” 

Inside the comfort and warmth of the car, he kisses you deeply. Something he’s been looking forward to for the last three weeks. “How’s that for breaking the ice?” 

You roll your eyes but a smile plays at your lips as you properly adjust the seat belt. Gasping when you’re handed chocolate danishes, you pout at him, “You’re so sweet. Come here.” It earns him more kisses which he happily accepts. 

In the back seat you notice an odd shaped item, in purple wrapping, done quite messily. “What’s that?” You ask knowingly. 

“A surprise.”

“I have one for you too.” You smile smugly. 

 “Yeah? Can’t wait.” 

On the way back, you give him a run down of what went on back home. When he ended up confessing that he hadn’t done anything special for the holidays, not even with Suga, it made you feel bad. Even though he tries to assure you he didn’t want to celebrate it anyway. 

Back home, you lug your baggage into the room and dig something out of your bag. A packet of cookies lands on Jungkook’s lap as he takes a seat on the floor in front of the couch. “For me?” 

“Mmhm.” Nodding, you tear open the paper bag, behaving more excited than he is. “My grandma said she packed this for my friend. She winked when she told me that. And I’d already brought some back for Hana. I think she knows.” 

“About us? How?” 

“She’s always been nosy.” You giggle. “I guess she doesn’t want you to get left out.”

“Aw. She’s kind just like you.” 

“Wait!” He pauses, startled by your hand on his, stopping him from pulling one of the cookies out of the bag. “Hold on.” 

You get up and run to the room. Carrying as many pillows as you can with a comfy blanket somewhere in between, Jungkook watches as you make a barrier with the pillows and spread the blanket over him. Then, you’re off to the kitchen. 

After a minute of cabinet doors opening and closing and the clinking of glasses, you come back with two mugs of hot cocoa, marshmallows on top of course. Just the way your dad makes them. You place it right next to him then push the coffee table all the way forward to make more room to spread your legs. You put on a lame christmas movie on netflix, then snuggle up next to him. 

“Now it’s a real christmas party.” 

Jungkook laughs, holding you close and kissing the top of your head. You do the most unexpected things at the most random times. But he appreciates the way you always try to make sure he’s not left out. “Thank you baby.” 

You grin up at him and watch carefully as he takes the first bite of the cookies. His eyes go wide and you nod knowingly. It’s your grandmother’s famous recipe. One even if you had, wouldn’t even be able to replicate its taste. He hums in delight, stuffing his mouth with one cookie after the other. 

“So. Let me guess what happens after cookies and cocoa.” He says after finishing almost half the packet. 

“What?” You ask, eyeing him. 

He reaches round the side of the couch and pulls out the odd package you had seen in the car. “Presents?”

“Presents!”  

You run back to your room and appear with a small wrapped box. The rule was not to buy anything that costs more than your monthly rent. You both had agreed to this a while back. Which was difficult for Jungkook because all he wanted to do was to spoil you with expensive gifts. 

“What is this?” Jungkook holds the box to his ear and shakes lightly. “Hm.” 

“Wait I think I can guess what mine is.” You giggle, pressing into the soft parts of the wrapping. 

“Okay then you go first.” 

“Okay.” Tearing away the wrapping carefully, you find inside a soft, pink bunny with funky eyebrows. On the bottom of its little feet, there are hearts and in those hearts are both your names embroidered with a plus sign in between. “Aww no this is so adorable. I love it so much.”

“It’s not a diamond necklace but⎼”

“No this is so much better. Thank you.” You give him a hug with the bunny squished between your bodies. “It strangely reminds me of you.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah it’s weird and I like it.” You giggle, pinching his cheek. “Now open yours.” 

The wrapping comes off easy and he immediately realises what it is as the box comes into view. He looks at you for a second before unboxing it and pulling out a matte black polaroid camera. Jungkook takes his time with it, carefully looking at it from each side. 

“Do you like it?” You ask. “I know you like taking photos so I thought you might like this.” 

“Y/N I love it.” He smiles, bringing the viewfinder to his eye and getting a feel of it, then putting it down to focus on you. “Let’s take one together.” 

You scoot next to him as he loads the film cassette. Then hugging his middle, he hooks his arm around your shoulders and your faces press against each other. He clicks the shutter and you both wait for the film to develop. 

It comes out perfect, both your smiling faces perfectly in frame and even bunny made it in which makes Jungkook laugh. He can’t stop staring at it, holding it by the edges so carefully like he’s afraid he’s going to ruin it. 

“I love you.” He says, looking at you when he finally sets it down.

“I love you too.” 

He kisses you, tasting of hot cocoa and love. You’re being pushed onto the pillows with the blanket beneath as Jungkook hovers over you, pushing the hair out of your face. As Jungkook removes his sweater, you pull your shirt over your head. Jungkook smiles down at you, kisses you, then reaches for the camera. “Merry fucking christmas to me.” 

You shimmy out of your jeans and hook your ankle over his shoulder. Snap. “And happy new year baby.” 

[ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff]

Seahorse (Spencer Reid x Trans Male!Reader) NSFW

Summary: Spencer and Y/N have always wanted kids. Here’s the time Spencer was brave enough to broach the subject of how they would go about it. Plus a few more times after that.

AN: @imagining-in-the-margins​ came up with the idea of Spencer’s trans bf having a baby amidst man many many prompts for Spencer x male!reader to indulge my daydreaming and I ran with this prompt. 

Thank you to @writing-in-april​ for being my beta on this one! Couldn’t have done it without you, beebs <3

This is the NSFW version. If you are under the age of 18, please do not read! Here’s a SFW version of the story.

Word Count: 5.7k words 

Content Warnings: Trans man is pregnant, coming off testosterone, impregnation kink, pre-op sex, allusions to Prison!Spencer.

Masterlist // Gif Credit // SFW Version

The halls echoed with the unbridled joy of little ones calling out “Nemo” and “Dory” at the sight of the clown and surgeon fishes. Spencer bounced on the balls of his feet as he looked around the next room in search of his goal. He stopped when Y/N spared a look in his direction, away from the tank that had captured his attention for a solid five minutes.

“JJ sent me a video of a shrimp solving a Rubik’s Cube the other day.” He grinned.

Ah yes. JJ had also sent Spencer a video of little Henry swinging a mini softball bat about just like Spencer had done. For one game and one game only he had insisted, despite Y/N’s own resolve that he looked hot in the kit.

The walk through the tunnel was the slowest slog Spencer felt, but it was the only attraction in the aquarium to properly distract him. Lights above them filtered through the water, bouncing off the painted walls of the tank in a blue glow. Various species in a perfectly balanced ecosystem swam around one another without a care in the world. A particular stingray flapped its body against the glass, and three children nearby laughed at its funny shaped mouth.

“I used to sit on my mum’s shoulders when we walked through these. Touch the ceiling as if I could pet the fishes.” And Y/N’s hands stretched up over him, his eyes following a shark that slinked overhead, “When I got too old, I’d just press my nose against the glass and stare back.”

Nerves returned at the sight of a circular tank in the centre of the room holding something familiar. Seahorses curled their tails around the plants that waved together like a crowd at a concert. Little babies bobbed about the parents, translucent and wriggly.

Spencer coughed and spoke while Y/N took in the creatures, “Did you know that the seahorse is the only animal where the male carries the children?”

Suddenly his throat was dry; the words he’d been rehearsing dragged to a halt. Y/N turned to face him properly, guiding Spencer to the left as a little girl stood on tiptoe to see the seahorses as he continued to struggle.

“Well, that might not be true actually.” Spencer choked a little on his words, his voice’s volume steadily declining into a soft whisper, “I know that some human men can have babies.”

Y/N’s face clouded with doubt for a moment. Then it clicked and his face cleared, “Spencer, tell me what you’re getting at.”

Spencer twisted his hands around one another, “Have you ever thought about us having kids… biologically?” He watched Y/N’s Adam’s apple dip as he swallowed hard

“You mean like me being pregnant?”

“Yes, have you considered it an option for us?”

The conversations of other aquarium patrons were forgotten as Y/N took his gaze away from Spencer. His eyebrows were low as he considered his words carefully. Y/N always thought about the implications of what he was saying, maybe a little too much. Spencer could be biased though; his impatience did not mix well with his anxieties.

Eventually, Y/N turned back with a brave face and said, “I’d have to think about it some more.”

“Ok.” Spencer nodded, his chin wobbling a little.

There was hope though: he needed to think “some more”. Implying Y/N had thought about this before.

Near the end of their trip, Spencer did find himself in a staring contest with a little seahorse plushie with large eyes and an anatomically inaccurate tongue hanging out. In all honesty, it was kind of ugly.

“Spencer, come on. You know how I get around stuffed animals.”

How empathetic his boyfriend really was, projecting feelings of love onto the inanimate objects then making the excuse that he had to buy it now.

Spencer did have to leave the toy behind though. Out into the sunlight of the parking lot, he winced before he put his sunglasses back on.

“Park?” Y/N offered his hand and smiled. It was an olive branch, something to say that Spencer’s query had not ruined their day out together.

Spencer accepted and squeezed his hand. “Park.”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

 Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, Y/N had a hand on their lower belly, some space between the fingers as if there was an invisible bump there to accommodate. His head had tilted while he thumbed over the air.

As drowsy as Spencer was from work, his mind was focused without a distraction on what he had seen through the ajar bathroom door. He could barely pay attention to the Doctor Who episode Y/N put on. In fact, he doubted anything could take his attention away from the idea of having a child with-

“What do you think about me being pregnant?”

Spencer’s eyes shot wide open, then they were covered slightly by his inquisitive eyebrows in his attempt find an answer. Especially with Y/N looking on him while he waited for him.

“I think you’d be so beautiful carrying our baby. But if you wouldn’t be comfortable, then I wouldn’t make you. We still have surrogacy, fostering, adoption to consider,” was his answer. Never a lie, but the truth was always softened.

Seemingly satisfied, Y/N looked back at the episode. But Spencer couldn’t wait anymore, forgetting about anything else in the world except for this.

“What do you think, Y/N?” His body leant in towards his boyfriend’s.

Squirming in their spot on the couch, Y/N hummed before he answered, “I froze some of my eggs before I started my transition. I also sold some, for a down payment on a house or my wedding.”

Spencer’s heart thrilled at the possibilities. A house together? Matching suits at their wedding? He almost neglected to think about the fact that pregnancy was suddenly a very viable option for their future.

Regardless of Spencer’s many, many thoughts, Y/N continued, “And I thought that perhaps, if I found the right person, I would like to carry their child.” His palm opened up to him and Spencer instantly took it. “I know you’re the right person, but I’m not sure I want a baby now.”

“Of course,” Spencer lifted Y/N’s hand to his lips, “Whenever we’re both ready.”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Spencer pushed the dirty bedsheets into the washing machine; it wasn’t that big a deal. If the blood didn’t come out, then they could always buy a new set. Although they should really be saving money for decorating the nursery.

“Spenceerrrr.”

As the machine rumbled into life, Spencer returned to Y/N, curled up on the sofa with a heat pad to his gut. No amount of warnings from their doctor could have prepared Spencer for how emotionally straining it was to see his boyfriend suffering. Y/N was taking this a lot harder than Spencer – and rightfully so, it was his body that was changing.

“Why did I have to have such strong paternal instincts?” He grumbled with his eyes still closed.

Spencer let out a laugh, but it was cut off quick when Y/N whimpered loudly. He knelt down before him and cupped his face. Y/N’s cheeks were warm; his hands clung to Spencer’s wrists like a lifeline.

“What do you need?” Spencer asked softly and Y/N sighed, keening into his cooler palms.

“Can you tell me I’m handsome please?”

“You are the most handsome man in the world, and I adore you every minute of every day.” Spencer kissed Y/N’s pouting lips gently, “Handsome inside and out, I never wanna think about life without you. You just make everything in my life better.”

His fingers moved to brush away a tear that slipped down Y/N’s face and over the ridge of his nose. But he missed and it dripped onto the pillow.

“You’re doing so much for us, for our baby.”

“It’s not even real yet,” Y/N sniffled. His hands finally released Spencer and pressed the heat pad into him.

“It’s gonna be.” Spencer bumped their noses together, “We’re gonna be dads.”

A hoarse laugh met with a hint of a groan in Y/N’s chest, “Yeah. We’re gonna be dads.” That sound and those words were all Spencer needed to feel better. But he wished the same could be said for Y/N. The only thing he could provide was a promise of future relief:

“How about we order in tonight?”

“Ugh, yes.” Y/N burrowed his face into the pillow.

When their bed was made up properly, Spencer and Y/N cuddled together. Unfortunately, Y/N was restless, trying to find a comfortable position while his painkillers kicked in. Spencer kept his complaints to himself, allowing himself to be shifted around in Y/N’s hunt for relief. Honestly it was the least he could do.

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

“The reproductive process begins when a male and a female seahorse do daily pre-dawn dances, intertwining their tails and swimming together.”

“Well, it’s nearly nine, so definitely past dawn.”

“I’m trying to be romantic, Y/N.”

Y/N adjusted the bed sheets around his middle, “We don’t have tails either and - if I remember correctly - your last sexy swimming encounter ended poorly.”

Spencer flushed at the memory of Lila in the pool; another memory turned the pink to red. Y/N had laughed so hard his gut ached when Spencer told him about how awkward he had been around Lila. This was before the context of the case had been disclosed, promptly removing the space for any more laughter.

“Baby?”

Y/N was touching his face. Spencer’s head emptied itself of all thoughts of Lila. This was not what he wanted to be thinking about right now. Y/N’s laughter maybe, but none of the rest.

Tucking a curl behind his ear, Y/N leant in close, “If I’m ready, and you’re ready, you know what happens.” His eyes wandered down Spencer’s face, “And it’s not swimming together.”

But, just as their lips were about to touch, Y/N jerked away from him. “Wait, I gotta brush my teeth first.”

Spencer moaned with indignation while falling backwards onto the bed as Y/N disappeared from view. A few seconds later, he heard the electric toothbrush buzzing. With a burst of energy, he stripped himself down to his underwear – a petty way to get back at Y/N who had made it very clear that undressing Spencer was one of his favourite parts of their sex life.

When Y/N returned, with the minty freshness he apparently desired more than his own boyfriend, he said “What? You already did this morning?”  His eyes looked down at Spencer’s chest and his lips twitched into a pout. 

Spencer held back his grin, keeping his triumph at retaliation to himself as he said, “I wouldn’t have minded.”

“That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard, Spencer.”

And with that, Y/N crawled onto the bed, over Spencer’s body and kissed him silly.

Any remaining thoughts of sleep were dispelled as the men took turns worshipping each other’s bodies. Impatience chased them in their desires, deliciously enticing them to push the pleasure further and faster. While Y/N kissed his neck, Spencer’s thoughts fixated on how perfect his boyfriend felt pressed up next to him. He couldn’t wait anymore, he just had to get inside him.

“Let me put a baby in you, Y/N.”

A whine passed through Y/N’s lips at his words as he adjusted his grasp on Spencer’s body, a hand in his hair to pull him back in.

“Do it.” He whispered into the space between them, “Please.”

As quick as they appeared, the insecurities Spencer and Y/N were holding released. Their moans harmonised when Spencer finally pushed into Y/N. His legs wrapping around his skinny waist, luring him in. Spencer was enraptured by the feeling of his boyfriend’s weight against him. God, he wanted to go slow, appreciate Y/N for all he was worth. But his greed got the better of his intentions, eating up all of Y/N’s encouragements – both the words and the noises snatched from his throat.

When they were both spent, Spencer and Y/N sagged into the mattress, wrapped up in each other and the covers. The burning warmth of their bodies drew up two soporific smiles on their faces.

“You know, a seahorses’ body shape means that they’re inept swimmers, and they can actually die of exhaustion.”

Y/N poked Spencer’s sternum. “Is that your way of makin’ fun of my stamina? Give me a few minutes; I’ll be on you like a rash.”

Grinning at such a prospect, Spence continued, “They also mate for life monogamously.”

He felt two fingers touch his cheek, "Spencer, I love you and your endless fountain of knowledge.” Y/N paused to peck the corner of his lips, “But I’m not actually a seahorse. And, though I do plan to mate with you for life, if you wake me up before the sun is above the horizon for a ‘dance’, I'm gonna suffocate you with my new body pillow.”

“Oh, you got your pillow?”

“It’s en route.” Hence why Y/N was content to use Spencer in lieu of said pillow.

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

When Spencer disclosed to Hotch that he would need some time off because he and Y/N were considering having a kid, first thing on a Monday morning, Hotch didn’t let anything on. There was a hint of a hint of a smile though. His eye wandered to the school photo of Jack he kept on his desk, and he was greeted with the memory that Jack almost shared a name with Emily’s cat.

Naturally, Rossi found out next. Technophobe Spencer Reid had left his computer screen on a website for baby blankets, and Rossi had been the one to pass by first. After turning the monitor off, Rossi took Spencer aside in the break room and spoke about how wonderful it was that he was going to be a father. Then he kissed both his cheeks, leaving with misty eyes and a smile that he wouldn’t explain to Penelope passing by. Spencer blinked then finished making his coffee.

The next conference room meeting – the same day and just for an update on the paperwork deadline - Spencer simply decided to drop the information that he and Y/N were planning on having a kid as if it was his thoughts on their next unsub’s motivations were.

Three seconds of silence later and an uproar exploded.

From then on, the week was filled with pokes and ribbing at his upcoming parenthood. A peek into the future.

After making her a cup of coffee, Spencer sat opposite JJ at her desk and asked for advice. Her response: offering Spencer the opportunity to babysit Henry more. Obviously he accepted; more time with his godson was always a good thing. Then she went into how parenting was just a natural thing that he would know when the time came. Not very reassuring on its own, but with his best friend’s support, Spencer felt a smidgen better.

Penelope admitted that she had saved outfit ideas on Pinterest for Spencer – among other members of the BAU. When Spencer dared to enter her lair, she showed him several. Apparently that wasn’t even a dent in her collection, and she had already placed an order on a little bow tie. Spencer left before she tried to organise a shopping trip; neither Spencer nor Y/N were really fans of retail therapy.

Derek was teasing away, “Spencer and Y/N are gonna be baby daddies.” And every single time, Emily would join in. She liked to claim she was the reason Spencer was having a kid, reminding him of when JJ was pregnant. He had been incredibly weirded out by the baby kicking, but Emily had asked if he had considered having “baby geniuses” and he never gave an answer.

To be fair, Spencer never could have seen this coming. That made it all the better.

Apart from when Derek began supplying a realm of baby names, that varied from “oh that’s actually cute” to “oh my god, why would you even consider that a name for a real child?” Spencer was happy to rank them aloud for him.

The cat was only half out of the bag though.

Now Spencer had always been affectionate when he and Y/N were together. But the second it spilled into their public lifestyle, Y/N knew something was afoot. He was quick to pick up on this when he went to collect Spencer up for a chilled date night and Spencer kissed his cheek in clear view of the entire bullpen.

“You told them, didn’t you?”

“I couldn’t wait, but I do have my paternity leave arranged!”

The team swarmed to deliver their congratulations. And it was then that they revealed that they all thought that Spencer and Y/N were planning to adopt or look for a surrogate. Their embraces didn’t spoil the unexpected second part of their announcement; Y/N looked like he’d simply put on a few pounds rather than gained a baby bump beneath his button-up. Naturally, there was even more of a hubbub than before when they discovered that Y/N was already pregnant.

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

“Spencer, baby, you gotta calm it with the ocean theme.”

“But…” he pouted, holding up the finished mobile. Brightly painted sea creatures and chunks of coral dangled delicately in a circle. Sure enough, there were orange seahorses hovering about their habitat.

“It’s very sweet and I adore you for it,” Y/N kissed Spencer. “Not everything has to be related to seahorses though.”

“I guess not.” Spencer’s defeated tone did not last long. His face brightened and he whipped a blanket adorned with little seahorses and bubbles at the edges out of the cot. “But - this online store was taking commissions, and you always say support small businesses!”

Thank god Y/N had been the one in charge of painting the walls. An underwater mural would have been a step too far.

“You, Doctor Spencer Reid, are so…” Y/N’s hands were up in the air between them, searching for an adjective to describe Spencer appropriately. Then he settled those hands on his shoulders and Y/N kissed him.

When they drew away, Spencer spoke, “I’m so what?”

Y/N shrugged, “Just so.” He kissed him again, lingering longer than before and smiling as Spencer’s hands touched the obtrusive roundness of his belly that pressed into Spencer’s stomach. They were so close to meeting their little bubba.

“So are you.”

“Ok, don’t have a go, I bought this before the ban,” Y/N held out a gift, wrapped in sea-green tissue paper and bearing a blue bow.

Folding the blanket neatly over the bars of the cot, Spencer eagerly yet daintily unwrapped the present. As the tissue paper fell to the carpet, his hands trembled.  Eyes shining, he couldn’t bring himself to look away from the latest scan that was framed by tiny seahorses to thank Y/N.

There was more still, as Y/N explained, “There’s another behind there. I’ve seen the state of the one in your wallet.”

“It got caught at the bottom of the pouch,” Spencer said quietly, unbending the catch on the back of the frame. Sure enough, two of the same photographs spilled into his waiting palm. Truth be told, Spencer had already taped his torn photo together again and it was going to stay in his wallet. This spare would be in the post soon, on its way over to his mother. God, she was so excited to hold a baby again. The photo album would have to do for now.

“Could you maybe recant the ocean ban? Because I saw this and I knew it would really go well with the blanket and the mobile.”

Sighing, Y/N’s head tilted back, “What is it?”

The pretence of annoyance couldn’t be maintained towards Spencer’s face beaming back at him as he held up a wonky looking seahorse plushie. It wasn’t the same one he’d seen before. Some heartfelt child had taken pity on that one and given it a forever home. No, this was a perfect little present for his bubba.

Y/N thought so too as he let a grin settle onto his face.

“Ok, we can keep this one. But no more from now, alright?”

“I suppose. Besides, our baby isn’t our seahorse. You are!”

“You better not buy us a fish tank for my birthday.” A spike of nerves hit Y/N when he couldn’t quite catch Spencer’s eye to confirm his word. “Spencer? Promise me... Spencer!”

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

“How are you feeling, Baby Daddy?” Derek hugged Y/N who was reclined in his bed. His body pillow propped him up for his visitors.

Y/N wrinkled his nose, “For once, I wish I was a real seahorse and I could have just sneezed her out.”

Katia Nikola Reid definitely looked like she’d been sneezed on when she first entered the world, screaming her teaspoon-sized lungs out. Named after a hero of both Y/N and Spencer, one day old, bundled in a blanket, she scowled at Spencer’s dopey face looming over her while Emily held her tight.

A hoard of presents huddled in the corner of Spencer and Y/N’s bedroom. Emily thought it’d be a great idea to bring the baby an Ikea shark that was bigger than the child – and would definitely take up around half of her cot.

“She’s already got him wrapped around her pinky finger.”

“Yes, she does,” Spencer agreed giddily.

Next, Derek took her in his arms, untucking her arms from the blanket swaddle to give her a fist bump. He swayed her about the room while Katia relaxed a little more. The deep humming in his chest soothed the wrinkles on her forehead. Katia stretched as if to touch his face, and her mouth gaped at him.

“Aww, baby genius is ready for a nap.” Derek yawned too, “Who’s gonna micromanage me while I put her down?”

“Me! Me!” Y/N said, his enthusiasm muted by tiredness. Spencer leapt to his side, helping him out of bed, his teammates watching fondly as he did so. Y/N was allowed out the room first, Derek close behind and clicking his tongue at little Katia.

“She’s so sweet,” Emily said, her eyes on the pair’s backs and the dangling loose blanket from under Derek’s left arm. “I’m so happy for you both.” And she hugged Spencer tight; Emily always gave such good hugs. Good thing she was going to be around to give plenty to his daughter.

Then, down the hall, he heard Derek say with sarcastic resignation, “Oh Spencer, I thought Y/N was kidding when he said no more seahorse themed items.

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Y/N ended up climbing into the bathtub with Katia. Even as she had grown into her chubby features, looking more and more like him and Spencer with each passing day, she was still so small.

Sitting up with her in his lap to help her out, Y/N lowered her into the warm water. His fingers tenderly rubbed the blackcurrant scented soap on her tummy, copying her expression as her tongue poked out between her gums. Her jerking legs rejected the water that Y/N’s hands cupped to rinse the bubbles off.

“Oh!” Y/N said in surprise as Katia sneezed, “Bless you.”

He heard the front door go, but he let Spencer follow the clues to their bathroom. Sure enough, the Doctor soon entered with his jacket shed, already rolling his sleeves up as he dropped onto the bathmat. A hand curled at Y/N’s chin as he kissed him before it stroked over the damp wisps of hair on Katia’s head.

“Hello. Hi.” His voice was that bit more delicate as he caught Katia’s eye and welcomed her big gappy smile.

Y/N tilted his head towards Spencer. “Good first day back?”

“I missed you both.” Spencer swished the water around by Katia’s side, “Isn’t it incredible how she’s experiencing all of this for the first time?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

Spencer giggled away as the surrounding bathwater yellowed and Katia flapped her arms.

“Mind your language.” He said without any weight to his warning, “Our little girl can’t help it.” Then he stood and prepared her towel, a deep-sea blue that brought out her eyes. “Can I feed her tonight?”

“Of course, baby,” Y/N agreed as he lifted Katia out of the tub, where Spencer caught her and bundled her up with skilled speed. As he dried her off, Katia cooed away to herself. She did get a little pissed off when he dressed her up in a clean nappy and a sleepsuit, but Spencer couldn’t take her crumpled expression seriously without the tears.

The rocking chair had to be one of his best investments for his daughter’s room. It soothed Katia from the darkest of tantrums, a familiarity that swayed her. She fit so perfectly into Spencer’s arms and he fit so contentedly into the seat. Her eyelashes fluttered slowly shut as she drank more milk.

Not quite strong enough to sit up on her own, Katia leant fully into Spencer’s hand while he burped her – thankfully not for long. Then it was off into her cot.

Y/N watched him from the doorway as Spencer stroked the apple of Katia’s cheek while she drifted off into slumber. An effortless smile danced on his lips even as he switched the lamp off and welcomed Y/N over to see their sleeping babe.

“Love seeing you with her, Old Daddy Spencer teaching her everything she’ll need to know.” The kiss that followed was certainly not appropriate for their daughter’s nursery, so he took Y/N by the hand, leading him into the hallway. Even then, between the short pecks that pressed against his lips, Y/N continued to talk, “Is this how you felt while I was pregnant?”

Breath hot against his face, Spencer swallowed hard while Y/N said, “Seeing my handsome boyfriend carrying our child? I think I get it now.”

His hand slipped up Spencer’s shirt. It was crystal clear what his intentions were. Spencer was already close to panting when he pulled Y/N flush against him. With more desperation this time, they fumbled around their home until they made it to their bed. Spencer’s hands aligned with the stretch marks on Y/N’s thighs as he grabbed them and pulled him on top.

He huffed as Y/N’s teeth tugged and released his bottom lip, “We have to be quiet.”

“I can be quiet.” Y/N ripped off his shirt in one smooth movement, “Can you?”

Spencer couldn’t give an answer. Instead he pulled Y/N back against him as they fell onto their sheets.

Their first time in months, it didn’t last very long, but it was exactly what they needed.

 ---> ---> ---> ---> --->

 The biggest surprise of the evening was that Rossi put down his drink to hold Katia. To be fair though, he had already had a few. Hence why he was singing and dancing around the garden with Katia in his arms. What a sight to behold, it eased the pain of Derek and Hotch’s absence, their own kids to take care of now.

Eventually Rossi relented, allowing Penelope to take Katia, turning to Y/N who had kept a watchful eye on his actions, “Promise me you’ll bring her over when she’s allowed to eat food.”

“I can’t give her your food for her first taste. She’ll be disappointed for the rest of her life,” Y/N joked, Rossi letting out a boisterous laugh that made Katia giggle in turn.

Penelope got to hold Katia next and show her off to Henry who was very intrigued to learn more about his godsister – Spencer told him that was who Katia was and it stuck. Henry became Penelope’s little shadow until they found a seat for him and a cushion for his lap to hold the baby. His joy unbridled at such a responsibility was adorable. He posed for many photos, while Katia for once stayed quiet.

Spencer was tired but the best kind of tired. A night in with friends, watching his boyfriend and his daughter be welcomed as much as he was, it wasn’t a surprise but it was always a delight. And this moment right now, Y/N cradling Katia’s with one hand squeezing her little foot before he planned to take her into Rossi’s office? What a life they had cultivated together. As he sipped his drink, the bliss in his tummy was not doused by it.

 ---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Slouching on the sofa, Spencer watched with tired eyes as Katia stumbled in the room, her hands held in Y/N’s while she waddled between his legs. Her round face lit up at the sight of Spencer. Her pace increased beyond her abilities and Katia swung forward a little as she almost fell over.

“Oh dear,” Y/N cooed while Katia got back to her unstable feet. “That’s it, there we go.”

Spencer wished he had the energy to properly appreciate this moment, especially since both his boyfriend and their daughter were grinning like they shared a secret.

Katia dropped down onto her nappy-cushioned bottom then began to crawl over to Spencer’s feet. His hands, although dirty, rough and near ruined, accepted her offer and lifted Katia up into his lap. They stayed for safety around her middle, keeping her sat up straight as she looked on him with those big eyes. Eyes that were fresh and untainted copies of his own.

Y/N sat down beside Spencer, leaning in close to Katia so he caught her attention, “Hey, why don’t you show your Daddy what we’ve been practicing?”

Looking away from both her Dads, Katia drooled and pushed her fist in her mouth. Y/N waved until he and Spencer were back into her line of sight.

“Go on, sugar plum.” He pointed to Spencer, “Who’s that?” And he mouthed the answer to her.

“Dadadadadada.”

It was barely above a whisper. But her little grin, the top of a tooth poking out of the centre of her bottom gums, the way Katia looked at Spencer when she said it? A soft “oh” fell from Spencer’s lips and he clutched her close, her chubby arms barely reaching around his neck. His breath shaking out of him, he kissed the thick thatch of hair that had sprouted in his absence. He could feel Katia whispering “Dadadadada!” again.

“That’s me, Katia, I’m your Dada.” He sniffed back the sting in his eyes at the absolute proof that, in his time away from her, she had remembered him. When he moved away, placing Katia back into his lap, he closed his eyes as Katia’s scrabbling fingers rubbed across the tip of his nose.

Katia made a sudden attempt to stand, throwing her entire bodyweight towards Spencer. Spencer’s breath was snatched from his lungs and the tension remained even after he caught her with ease.

“You ok?” Y/N said and Spencer noticed that his hand was supporting his against Katia.

Spencer nodded weakly, “Hmm, you?”

“Better now.” Y/N let his hand go and began rubbing Spencer’s back in the same circular motions that Spencer rubbed Katia’s.

A tug snagged Spencer’s head to the left and he tutted as Katia grabbed at his cheek, “Ow, Katia, no.”

Instead, Katia took a fistful of the next thing she could find, which was Spencer’s hair, and she cried out an identical (if higher pitched) “Ow!”

“You hurt Spencer, not the other way around, Katia. Stop faking.” Y/N scolded playfully.

But Katia repeated Spencer’s outburst again, “Ow!”

Y/N lifted Katia’s little fist from Spencer’s hair, and it immediately clamped down on Spencer’s finger as an alternative to wave about.

Spencer kissed her hand, still so tiny and forgiving against his. He looked at Y/N, blinking fast as he half-heartedly said, “She’s so like you.”

The lock of hair Katia had yanked on curved around Y/N’s touch as he put it back into the disarray of fluff that stood around Spencer’s head, “That’s funny, because I think she’s so like you.”

 ---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Tilting the pram onto its back wheels, Spencer pushed it up the step and into the aquarium tunnel. Katia lay back in her seat while gumming on her blanket corner. Her eyes were ready to take in the sights.

Y/N knelt before her, suffering a few kicks to his knees from Katia’s excitement. Her pram clips were undone. Little Katia was released into her Daddy’s arms then plonked up onto his shoulders. Her starfish-like hands pressed up against the glass. Her mouth became as wide as her eyes as she pointed at the stingray rippling past. She had seen fish before (Carl and Rosalind at home) but never like this.

“Yeah, that’s a ray, Katia,” Y/N rubbed his fingers over her back, his hands still to keep her steady.

Spencer pointed his finger right next to hers, “They use their electro-sensors, not their eyes, to find their meals which consists of shrimps, clams, and -”

Katia shrieked – interrupting his and she smacked her hands against the glass. No one seemed to mind though. Some patrons in the tunnel even chuckled at her behaviour. Like she needed any more encouragement, especially with Y/N grinning up at her and tickling her sides to elicit more laughter from his daughter.

When Spencer’s hand dropped, Katia shouted again. A little confused, he returned it and Katia took his finger in her hand then began dragging the tip across where the ray was.

“She wants it as a pet, what do you say, baby?”

“I thought you said not to get you any fish for your birthday.”

Eventually Katia was returned to the pram. Her head was thrown back to watch the rest of the tunnel go by. Then she hid her face in her blankie once they were out in the last few exhibits. There was a little tug of war to get her to let it go (she was a lot stronger than Y/N gave her credit for) and see the one other exhibit that both parents were invested in.

Taking her hand again, Spencer squatted beside the pram. “Hey look, the men seahorsies have the babies. They’re just like your Daddy.”

“Your favourite Daddy,” Y/N ruffled Spencer’s hair while Spencer pretended to be outraged. Katia caught onto the dramatic expression Spencer was wearing and copied him with a gasp added for good measure.

“What d’you reckon, any of these were babies when we went to visit last time?”

“Well, Y/N, the lifespan of these seahorses is approximately a year. So they could be.” He knew it was unlikely but, for the sake of the smiles on Y/N’s and Katia’s face, Spencer let it be.

[thatnerdnextdoor24]

Under the Mistletoe

I hope your holidays were wonderful! Here is a little gift, from me to you!

Read Part One.  This is Part Two!

Ao3

More Kit/Ty

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ty was moderately fond of Christmas. When he had been younger, he could just barely remember Christmas with his parents. He remembered the last Christmas they had had with their mom, how thin and weak she was. He remembered that the next year, Helen, trying to keep them all together while his dad struggled to fix what was broken. Then there were the years with Julian. He made Christmas a simple, but fun affair. But then Livvy died, and Ty's days bled together and neither he or his ghostly sister could tell, exactly, when the holidays had come and gone.

It was more recently, when he and Kit moved in together, that Christmas had dug a bigger he in his heart. Every year they went to Devon for Christmas morning, then to Las Angeles for dinner that night. And the rest of the day? That was just purely Kit and Ty. 

Christmas was alright in Ty's eyes. It was just like any other holiday. He never found himself overly excited, but this year, there are butterflies in his stomach. He's wondering if the gifts he got for his loved ones, (which used to be a short list but was now much longer.) Were good enough.

“Do they know we’re on our way?” 

Ty wrestles himself from his thoughts, returning to the present. In a pick up truck, heater blasting and radio just quiet enough to be heard over. Irene sat in his lap, asleep in the weak sunlight drifting in from the windshield. The phone in his hand vibrates with Julian’s recent text. “Yeah.” Ty answer's Kit’s question, his gaze drifting to look at his boyfriend. Kit’s smiling, fingers tapping and voice humming with the music. The morning light makes his hair glow gold, and his Herondale ring glint silver. Kit glances his way, and smiles. "Think it'll be fun?" He asks.

Ty shrugs, "I think it'll be loud." He says, frankly. "And a little fun." He concedes. Big parties were not Ty's idea of fun. But...parties were always better with Kit there. Always more fun. Always more laughs. Even when Ty would have to step out because things just felt too loud. Kit would be right behind. To hold his hand, hug him tight, tell him it was ok if he was done for the night. Ty usually was. Kit never complained about leaving early, was always ready with an excuse to leave if needed. Always seemed content to come back home and spend the night with each other and no one else. 

It was one of the reasons Ty loved Kit so much. 

Sometimes he wondered, in the back of his mind, if Kit ever got annoyed or tired of Ty. If maybe, one day, he would decide that Ty wasn't worth the trouble.

"Probably." Kit agreed. "There are going to be a lot of people there. But at least we know most of them." His hand falls from the wheel and intertwines with Ty's. With the truck turning off the highway and onto a familiar road, Ty licked his lips. "I don't know if I'm ready for Christmas madness." He says. Kit sighs wearily, "No one ever really is." 

Their eyes meet for just a moment and Ty feels himself smile. They pull up the road and park outside the Institute. Irene wakes as they stop, perking up in excitement as she realizes where they are. Before they leave the truck, Ty leans over and steals a kiss from his boyfriend. "It'll be okay. As long as we keep you away from the alcohol." Ty and Irene dash out of the truck before Kit could respond with anything more than a laugh.

They didn't even reach the front door before it was thrust open. "Ty-Ty!!" Tavvy barreled into Ty's awaiting arms, he grunted slightly under the weight. Tavvy wasn't a little kid anymore, that was for sure. But that didn't change the way he always greeted his brother. Even though Ty lived 20 minutes away, and was over every Saturday morning, Tavvy still hugged him as if he hadn't seen him in a hundred years. Ty squeezed his little brother back before Tavvy released him, and crashed into Kit instead. A laugh from the front door tore Ty’s attention to Julian, who was grinning and holding the door open. Irene darted between his legs and into the Institute. No doubt heading for the fireplace. “How was the drive?” Julian asks, like he does every time they visit. “It was fine,” Ty answers, like he does every time. He smiles at this little bit of normal routine. He treasures it, knowing it will soon be ruined when all the guest arrive and the little kids start running around and there are a more people cooking in the kitchen than the fire department would like and-

“Faster!! Faster!!!” Ty is pulled from his spiraling thoughts by Tavvy’s laugh. He turns to find Tavvy has managed his way onto Kit’s back, and Kit is spinning him around and around, faster and faster. Julian rolls his eyes at them and helps Ty unload the gifts they brought from the truck and Ty’s heartbeat calms down. He sneaks a couple of deep breaths when no one is looking. Emma emerges from the hallway, she conscripts Ty to help her put a few more decorations up. Mostly, the mistletoe in the door ways. It’s been tradition for Ty to put those up, every year. His dad used to put him on one shoulder, and Livvy on the other. Together, the three of them would search for the best, or most inconvenient, locations for mistletoes. Now though, Ty did it by himself. 

Julian has taken Kit into the kitchen. Ty can hear them laughing as they start the cooking for the night. When they had first started dating, Kit’s cooking skills had taken him by surprise. Kit had just shrugged and said, “Jem and Tessa taught me some.” As their relationship grew, Kit told him the whole truth. “My dad didn’t take care of himself.” He whispered into the dark between them, one night. “He didn’t take care of me, either. But I was a kid and I didn’t understand that I needed to be taken care of. But he was a mess, a huge, ugly, mean, mess. But he was my dad, too. I thought that meant that I was supposed to take care of him. So I did a lot of the things that he didn’t. I learned to cook, and clean. I bought groceries when he forgot, or when he was out of town for a long time. I just…” He looked over at Ty, his fingers feather light as he brushed away hair from Ty’s face. “I just learned to keep going.” 

Ty hoped that he had shown him, that it was okay to be taken care of. He hoped Kit had learned to sit back, sometimes, and let others do their jobs. 

“I think it looks good,” Emma said, stepping back to look at their handiwork. The mistletoe hung, just out of reach so it wouldn’t get caught in anyone's hair. (That had happened one year, and Helen still refused to walk underneath mistletoe.) But the red berries caught the light just right, and shimmered a little. Ty nods, and Emma reaches up to ruffle his hair. He swats her hand away, but he laughs all the same. He loves the way that Emma tries to make the hole in his heart, where Livvy used to be, a little smaller. “C’mon,” she says, and Ty already knows what she's going to say. “Let's go play some checkers,” 

He’s already nodding before she’s finished. Though, playing checkers on Christmas Eve wasn’t a Ty and Livvy tradition, that one was purely Ty and Emma. The checkers board is worn and faded, and some of the pieces have seen better days but they don’t complain. They set it up in the family room, in front of the fireplace and Christmas tree. Irene has already made her home there, and comes to lay her head on Ty’s lap as they play on the floor. The two of them play while the rest of the Blackthorns make their way into the room. Helen and Aline pass their baby daughter back and forth between themselves. The baby is constantly changing which of her moms is her current favorite. 

Dru, Ash, and Cristina have taken up the floor next to them and are playing some kind of card game with Tavvy. Mark is helping Ash cheat by looking at other people's cards for him. Kieran is doing the same thing for Crisrtina (How Kieran managed to get the holiday off, despite being the literal king of Faire, Ty has absolutely no idea) But somehow Dru is still winning. Julian and Kit are still in the kitchen, and every once in a while shout for Cristina’s help. Mark has offered to help them, and each time there has been a resounding “NO” from everyone within earshot. 

Despite the familial chaos around them, Emma and Ty have made a sort of bubble of calm around themselves. As they take turns creeping their pieces across the board, a shimmering of silver catches Ty’s eye. Emma’s wedding ring sits on her left hand, catching the glow from the fire. She sees him looking and smiles. “I had asked Julain for his Blackthorn ring,” she says, and rolls her eyes. “Because it’s a cute tradition and all. But then Julian flat out refused. I thought he was just attached to his ring or something but, then he told me that it would be pointless.” She slides the ring of her finger, holding it out to him. Ty takes it with gentle hands. It's a simple silver band, there's a gem set in the center. Upon closer inspection, Ty realizes that it's no precious gem, but a bit of shining sea glass. He smiles, thinking about Julian’s sea glass bracelets. He hands the ring back as Emma continues the story.

“He said that exchanging family rings is a sign of each family now accepting the couple as their own. He said it would be pointless for me to have a Blackthorn ring, because I’ve been a Blackthorn this whole time.” She smiles softly at the ring, at the memory. And Ty finds himself agreeing, “That’s right. You’ve always been a Blackthorn.” Emma’s cheeks turn a little pink and she leans over, kissing him on the temple. “Thank you, Ty-Ty.” They smile at one another, for a second, before Emma holds up her right hand. Both a Blackthorn ring, and a Carstairs ring, adorn her fingers. “Still wanted a Blackthorn ring, though. They look cool.”

Ty laughs and shakes his head at her a little. The two of them settle into another comfortable silence as their game continues. Ty moves one piece to the edge of her side of the board. As Emma goes to king it, Ty whispers, “I would want a family ring, too.” He’s not even sure when he’s started thinking about it, but recently, Ty has found himself awake at night, imagining what it would be like to get married. Emma blinks in surprise. But Ty smiles, and he knows it's a dopey, love sick kind of smile, as he looks at his own hand and imagines a Herondale ring on his finger. “Like you said,” His voice is quiet, like he’s sharing a secret, “It’s a cute tradition.” When he dares a glance back at Emma, she’s smiling at him and giving him a look he can’t really understand. 

She almost looks like she's going to say something when a cry from the other side of the room breaks into their thoughts. Tavvy has stood up, his hands on his hips as he glares at Cristina, Mark, Ash, and Kieran. “You’re cheating!!! I can’t believe you!!” He shouts and they look away, guilty as charged. Dru has collapsed onto the ground, laughing. Emma shares one last glance at him, and winks, before going to help Tavvy dole out punishments. Ty sits there for a moment, wondering why he feels like Emma knows something he doesn’t. 

~♡◇♤~♡◇♤~♡◇♤~

Cooking with Julian is always a high stakes game. Most of the time, Kit tries to keep Julian from even looking at what he's doing. Knowing that no matter what he does, Julain will tell him it's wrong. Truth be told, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the way Kit cooks. In fact, Kit is a damn fine cook, and he knows it. Julian just has a very specific way of doing things, and if it's not done Julian's way, well then, it's not right. 

It doesn't help that the two of them have a silent rivalry when it comes to cooking and secret recipes. 

Despite this, they still manage to work in a smooth and seamless team. They know what dishes they will make, and which ones they will not touch. (Kit will never stuff a turkey. Sorry, but he draws the line at shoving his hand up a turkey's ass.)(but likewise, Julian will never let anyone know how bad he is at making pies.) This was the first time that the LA Institute was holding the big Christmas party. So Kit got the feeling that Julian wanted to impress everyone. Kit wasn’t sure why he wanted to do that, everyone has been impressed by him since he took over the Institute at age twelve. But it was also kind of sweet, the way Julian still wanted to impress the people older than him. Kit would never say that to his face, but he would think it every now and then. 

As they cooked, the conversation between them flowed easily. They laughed and teased and Kit was immensely grateful that Julian never brought up the one thing Kit didn’t want to talk about. Even though it was clear that he was dying for news, Julian never brought up the engagement. Kit’s anxiety was already high, buzzing constantly under his skin. The last thing he needed was for people to start voicing the questions he already had or to judge his plan or his idea. 

Truthfully, Kit didn’t even have a plan. Not really. He was just praying to the Angel that the perfect opportunity would just….happen….

His peace in the kitchen with Julian didn’t last long, however. While they put everything in the oven to bake, or the fridge to chill, the two of them went to join the others in the living room and wait for their guests to arrive. Kit wasn’t entirely sure what had happened while they were in the kitchen. But somehow, Cristina, Mark, Kieran, and Ash were all wearing Santa hats that had “Naughty List” written on them, while Emma took photos on her phone. Ash and Cristina were trying to get the phone from her. Mark seemed to be enjoying the attention. Meanwhile, Dru and Tavvy were inhaling chocolates, and every once and a while they would throw one just to see if Kieran could catch it in his mouth. For the King of Fairie, he was surprisingly undexterous. 

Among all this chaos, was Ty. He was sitting on the couch with Helen and Aline and their baby. He was laying his head against Helen’s shoulder as she ran her long fingers through his hair. Kit thought that Ty might fall asleep at any moment. He came to join them as Julian took the baby from Aline’s arms. For a man who, by all accounts, should be tired of children. He adored babies. Kit let out a laugh as Julian threatened to keep the baby for himself and Aline threatened to stuff him into the turkey. 

Ty opened his eyes just enough to give Kit a sleepy smile as he sat down. “Hey,” Ty murmured. “Hey,” Kit said back, pulling Ty’s legs onto his lap. Ty leaned a little farther back against Helen, and she swatted his hair away before turning to talk to Aline and Julian. Giving them a little pocket of privacy. Which Kit appreciated. 

"How's it goin’?" He says in a singsong voice. Ty shrugs, "Pretty good. Emma and I played checkers."

"Did you win?"

"Of course I won. Someone in this relationship has to be a winner." 

Kit feigned offense. "I'm hurt. To think my own boyfriend could be so cruel." Ty chuckled, but didn't say anything, his eyes already closing. It only took moments for Ty to fall asleep against his sister. Kit slid Ty's shoes off and placed them on the floor, knowing how much Ty hated sleeping with his shoes on. When he looked up, he realized that the chatter of the Blackthorns had stopped. Now, everyone was looking at him. Most of them were smiling mischievously. Kit felt his cheeks go red. "What?"

Emma snorted. "What', he says. Like he doesn't know." She stuck her tongue out at him, he would have returned it if Dru hadn't thrown a chocolate at him. "Oww!" He hissed as it bounced off his forehead. Dru paid him no head, "When are you gonna do it!" She all but shouts. Both Kit and Helen shush her, Kit holds his breath as Ty shifts a little, but doesn't wake. He lets out a sigh of relief. "Watch it," Kit warns, tossing the chocolate back at Dru. She catches it effortlessly. 

"You didn't answer the question…" Ash points out. Kit finds that he can't look at them. Any of them. So he looks at Ty's legs on his lap, and picks a speck of lint of his Christmas sweater. "Tonight," he says, simply. "When?" Cristina prompts. To this, he stays silent. The silence draws on, awkward and heavy between them all. 

"Kit..." Aline draws.

"Christopher." Mark throws his Santa hat at Kit. He swats it away and feels his face grow hot. 

Finally, Ash just sighs and announces, "He doesn't have a plan. He thinks the 'right moment' will just happen." The room erupts into outraged shouts and groans. Helen and Kit shush everyone again, and by some Christmas miracle, Ty stays asleep. Everyone lowers their voices, but still berates Kit for his poor planning. 

"You can't just know. Knowing you, you'll probably just chicken out." -Dru.

"Por el amor de Dios. You've GOT to be kidding me," -Cristina.

"Do you have any plans? At all???" -Helen.

"You put too much trust in him," -Tavvy.

"Alright fine. All that matters, is that he has a ring," At Aline’s addition, Kit perked up. "I do have that!" He said, a little too excitedly. "Where is it?" Mark asked. Kit held up his right hand, with his Herondale ring. 

There was a mixed chorus of replies. Helen thought that he should probably clean the ring before he gave it to him, which was true. Mark thought that giving your family ring was cheating a little. While the room broke into sides about whether giving your family ring was romantic, or cheap, a hand came to rest on Kit’s shoulder. It was Emma, who had come around to the back of the couch. "Hey, Kit?" He turned his head to her at that. Emma smiled at him, and then nodded to Ty, "You're going to be just fine." 

Her assurance in him flooded warmth in his chest. He found himself smiling, letting out a breath of relief. Emma pressed a kiss to his cheek, and patted his shoulder.

So maybe Kit didn't really have a plan. And maybe he was a total coward and even just thinking about getting down on one knee made his palms sweat uncontrollably. But Emma Carstairs, yes, the Emma Carstairs, hugged his shoulders from behind, and told him "You got this." So. Yeah. Kit had this in the bag. 

Hopefully.

~♡◇♤~♡◇♤~♡◇♤~

The party was in full swing. The guests had arrived right on time. (Well, the Lightwood-Banes were fashionably late. But that was expected.) The dining room hadn't been big enough for all the guests. So everyone had gathered their food on plates and spread out through the Institute. Kit had forgotten how many people he actually knew. Every room he went into, he ran into a familiar face. Every room had a different game or conversation, a different Christmas song in the background. Though he stopped in every room, there was only one face he wanted to find. He and Ty had gotten separated at some point, and in a party like this, it was nearly impossible to find each other again. 

He was passing through the kitchen when a small figure, glad in a red and green tutu, crashed into his legs. "Kit-kat!" Mina yelled, and held her arms up to be picked up. She was getting too big to do that, but neither of them cared. Kit scooped her up and tickled her side. She laughed, and the sound was sorely missed. Kit visited Devon almost weekly, but it never felt like enough. "Did you grow taller since last week?" Kit asked. A laugh from behind caught him by surprise. Tessa and Jem were in the doorway, both in cheesy Christmas sweaters. "She most certainly did." Jem remarked, coming to put his arm around Kit’s shoulders. 

Kit leaned into him instinctively, letting Jem's steady presence reassure him. He took a deep breath of his dad's scent, and then asked, "Have either of you seen Ty?" Tessa shook her head, "No. I take it you haven't asked yet, then?" Kit shook his head. 

"Kit," Mina whispered, cupping her hand around his ear, like she was going to tell him a secret. "Can I be the flower girl at your wedding?" Kit held in his laugh, looking at her seriously. He nodded once. "Of course. I wouldn't have it any other way." Mina beamed. Kit glanced over at Tessa, and found her smiling a secret sort of smile at him. She nodded to the back door, "Shall we?" 

He wasn't sure what they were going to do, but he nodded all the same. Jem took Mina from his arms, and ruffled his hair. Tessa held her hand out to him and he took it. She lead him out the backdoor and into the statue garden. Kit hadn't realized how hot it was before the cold air hit his face. A breeze rippled through his hair. "It's strange to see Christmas without snow," Tessa remarks, staring out at the stars. Her soft brown curls were pinned up with pearls, gleaming softly in the low light. Not for the first time, Tessa looked both impossibly young, and wise with age at the same time. 

They sit on a stone bench, and are quiet for a long moment. "I want to give you something, Kit." Tessa finally said. Kit raised an eyebrow, "You know, Christmas isn’t until tomorrow." Tessa smiled, "Then consider this an early present." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small, velvet box. 

"What, you proposing to me, now?" 

Tessa rolled her eyes and handed him the box. Kit clicked it open, and his breath caught. "Tessa…" 

Inside the box, was a shinning, silver, Herondale ring. It looked just as old as Kit's, but it was smoother, and a little smaller. Tessa wrapped her arm around him, "The one you wear," she says, "Was James's." He turns to her at that. "I didn't know." The fact that she had given that to him, even when he was fifteen and angry all the time. But Tessa only shrugs. "I figured, both my sons should have it." 

She brushes a finger against the ring in the box. "This one," she whispers, "Was Cordelia's. You can tell, because she didn't get nearly as much ichor on it as James did." She laughs at this, and Kit thinks about the pictures of Cordelia at the house in Devon. "I imagine her pure beauty and talent repelled dirt and ichor." He murmured and Tessa snorted. "She was...one of a kind. Like your Ty." She nudges Kit, and when he looks up at her, the soft and loving look she gives him makes his eyes well up with tears. 

“Will proposed to me on Christmas, too.” She says, her voice impossible soft. He hugs her then, tight. His head tucking under her chin like he was a teenager again and not a young man. “You’re going to be just fine, Kit. He loves you, and you love him, and that's all that matters. The rest is just…” She gestures at the garden around them, “I was going to say snow, but maybe in LA, it would be sand.” Tessa shrugs at her failed analogy. “Nothing else matters,” She explained, and looked him in the eyes with a stern look, “Just as long as you love one another. And I know you do.” 

"Thank you," he crooked. Tessa kissed his forehead. "I love you, Kit," she whispered. She knew how hard the words were hard for him to say to her, and to Jem. So when Kit whispered back, "I love you, too." She squeezed him tight. 

Kit left Tessa in the statue garden, and made his way back into the party. The ring, a comforting weight in his pocket. His head felt clearer and he knew where Ty would be. 

Kit knocked on the trap door before lifting it up. He climbed onto the roof, instantly getting hit with memories of him and Ty sneaking away at dozens of events. Sure enough, Ty sat at the edge of the roof. When he saw Kit approach, he grinned. Kit sat next to him, "Hey stranger," he ran his hand up Ty's back. He felt him shiver. 

"It got kind of loud." Ty said, by way of explanation. Kit nodded in agreement. Even now, a gentle Christmas song floated through an open window and up to the roof. "We can go whenever you want," he reminds him, like he always does. Ty tends to get it in his head that his needs don't matter. Kit does the same thing, too. So they take care of each other. With little reminders or quiet company. 

Ty shakes his head. "I'm good," he glances at Kit, "I just want to sit up here, with you. If that's okay?" He tilts his head, his dark hair falling into his silver eyes. Kit reaches out and brushes it back. "Of course it is," his hand lingers on Ty’s cheek, and he leans into the touch. Ty turns his face, kisses Kit’s palm. 

Something happens at this moment. Maybe the light just, hit him just right. Maybe the goddamn Angel himself sent a sign. Maybe Kieran was down below, using some Fairie King Magic to make everything just right. It didn't really matter how it happened, the point is, everything was perfect. Nothing in Kit’s life had ever been perfect. Except for this. Except for Ty.

A cool breeze turned their noses and cheeks red. Their fingers into icicles. Baby It's Cold Outside is playing softly in the distance. And Kit finds himself humming along. So he stands up, and holds out his hand. "Dance with me," He says, his voice sounding low even in his own ears. Ty laughs but takes his hand. "We can have our own little party right now," Kit grins, pulling Ty up. 

Ty rolls his eyes but let's Kit lead him in a dance, anyway. "You're a dork," he remarks. Kit spins him, "And you're beautiful." Ty blushes. Even now that they're grown and Kit tells him he's beautiful every chance he gets, Ty still blushes. And it makes Kit's heart soar. Kit tugs him closer by the waist, "I love you," he whispers, and feels his voice crack a little. Because it's true. Kit loves him, more than he knew he could possibly love someone. And everyday, it grows just a little bit more. 

"Ty, I-"

 Shit. 

He can't even get the worst out. He swallows thickly. There's a pressure building in his eyes. He knows he's going to cry, but at this point. Ty has seen every twisted, rotten, vulnerable, messy, wonderful side of Kit. He's seen him cry a dozen times before, so really, at this point, Kit doesn't care. 

"Ty, I love you so much." Tears are already welling in his eyes and his feet are struggling to keep moving. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Kit has to clear his throat to keep going. They've stopped dancing now, and Ty is wiping away his tears with gentle fingers. 

"What's wrong, Christopher?" 

Kit hiccups a sob as his name leaves his loved one's mouth. "Nothing. I'm sorry I just-" he forces a watery laugh. "I don't want to be with anyone else. Tiberius. I love you. Do you….do you understand?" From the way that Ty blinks at him, the way his face is pinched in concern, Kit doesn't think he does. He curses himself. Trust him to make some confusing love confession while sobbing. At this point, there is only one way for him to be completely clear. Kit takes Ty's hand.

He gets down on one knee.

Ty's eyes widen. His chest rises and falls rapidly. His fingers tighten their grip on Kit’s hand.

"Tiberius." Kit says, his voice steadier. He reaches into his pocket and retrieves the blue velvet box. He clicks it open. 

"Will you marry me?" 

There's a silence for a long time and Kit fears the worst-

Until Ty meets his eyes. Kit sees that the reason he hasn't spoken, is simply because his hand is covering his mouth, tears streaming down his cheeks. But he's grinning from ear to ear and nodding rapidly. "Yes." He chokes out. "Yes. Angel yes, I'll marry you, Christopher!!" He tugs Christopher up and it's hard to tell which one of them pulls the other into a kiss, but it's watery, a little salty, and the sweetest thing Kit has ever experienced. Ty’s hands fist into his sweater, and Kit tugs him closer with one hand, the other carefully holding the ring up and out of the way. Ty kisses him harder, like he can’t express how he feels in any other way than by closeness and pressure and heat and-

Kit stumbles back, his foot sliding on a patch of ice and he comes crashing down on the roof, pulling Ty down with him. He lands with a loud bang and he groans as pain spikes up his back and Ty’s elbow collides with his ribs. Ty can’t even apologize, he’s already laughing. Kit joins him and then there they are. On the cold, wet, icy roof. Tears flowing down both their cheeks, and they’re laughing. Kit manages to slide the ring onto Ty’s cold finger, but he can’t bring himself to find the strength to stand. 

The trap door suddenly bursts open and Julian Blackthorn’s head appears, “Is everything okay?! We heard a bang-shit, what happened?” 

Kit and Ty laugh harder as Julian pulls himself onto the roof and the heads and faces of all their friends and family pop in and out of view. Kit wonders if they’ve been waiting down there the whole time. If Tessa ran off to tell everyone that Kit was going to do it as soon as their conversation had finished. 

Probably. 

They all share bewildered looks, but instead of forming coherent sentences, Kit just laughs, brushes away a tear, and holds up Ty’s left hand in victory. A roar of cheers and applause erupt from down below, one that sounds like it starts from Emma and Ash. Julian pulls them up and brushes off some of the dirty ice from the roof, before they are ushered down the ladder and into the warm, welcoming, rejoicing arms of their family. 

Even as Jem squeezes him tight and Jace ruffles his hair, Kit’s eyes never leave Ty’s. 

He grins.

Ty grins back.  

[pluviophile-bookworm]

Understanding and acceptance: a short story consisting of things that actually happened

[A/N: I was on the phone with my mum and she told me that I seem to be in a creative mood and that I should write something. I decided to kill two birds with one stone and share a personal story while also writing it as if it’s fiction. So here goes.]

Word count: 2K

-- 2 weeks ago --

It’s a quiet Saturday evening. My brother Max and I are walking home together, deep in conversation. I have no memory of what the conversation had been about when it started, but I do remember that it somehow got to this:

‘...all this assuming you’re straight, of course, and I’m not assuming anything--’

‘What does being straight mean?’ Max says in a tone that tells me he genuinely doesn’t know. So I feel obligated to explain it in the simplest terms possible. ‘Well, in your case it would mean that you, a boy, like girls.’

‘Well, that’s the normal thing for any person!’ He nearly cuts me off with this. I calculate my next step carefully.

‘Not every person,’ I say, keeping my voice as calm as possible. ‘I’m not straight.’ Of course, he knows that. I came out to my whole family at once three years ago, hoping for the awkward discussions to be over with that. It hasn’t worked out quite as I envisioned it yet.

‘Yeah, but you’re not normal either,’ Max parries. Can’t argue with that. Lucky for me, that is when we reach the front door and each one goes off to mind their own business.

I know very well just how ‘not normal’ I am. Not in that cliche ‘I’m not like other girls’ way, but in a way that causes Bulgarians undereducated on mental health and identity labels (which is unfortunately most people over 30) to brand a person clinically insane, unstable, a threat to the Traditional Bulgarian Family™. Being aroace and having severe social anxiety and ADHD to top it off, I hardly classify as ‘normal’. This is a frequent cause for arguments at the dinner table at home, most of which end in a. tears and/ or a panic attack on my part, b. my father storming off and pretending to be asleep whenever someone goes to call him back to dinner, c. my brother gluing himself to his phone, leaving his plate half-untouched, d. my mother crying over ‘what kind of mother am I that I can’t even have my family together at the table once’, and usually e. all of the above. 

For this scenario to play out, however, the whole family of four is required to be present. So fortunately it only happens every other weekend when Dad and I come back home from the capital, where we have been living for the better part of three years now, ever since he got promoted and I started uni. When I’m away from my loving but over-controlling mum and my brother, who seemed to become obnoxious overnight the moment he turned 13 a little over a year ago, I usually have significantly fewer reasons to cry or feel anxious about... you name it. So we do fine. For the most part.

-- this evening --

I am watching Joe and Frankie’s performance of A Whole New World for the thousandth time today when I get a text from Mum.

Mum: How’s my girl doing?

Mum: I haven’t been able to hear from you with all the fuss about your brother.

Max is at that point in his education where he’s applying for high schools. His exam results have just come in and now everyone in the family is stressing about whether his scores will be enough to get him into the school he wants to go to. It’s a big deal, but with all the Rodfini magic going on (and with how terribly behind I am on my internship assignment) I have just been completely unable to care.

Speaking of Rodfini and A Whole New World, I have been repressing the instinctive urge to send my mum the video all day, and when I get her texts, I almost nearly muster up the courage to do it. But between me and her, this is not something you do over text. So I give her a ring instead. 

When she picks up, the sound of her voice combined with the anxiety over what I want to tell her makes me tear up and the words are stuck in my throat. 

‘Erm-- Mum, can I tell you something?’ I say, still not sure if I’m not about to regret taking up the subject at all.

‘Dear, you know you can tell me anything,’ she says, sounding concerned at my obviously-trying-to-swallow-tears voice.

‘You mean it?’ I ask, listening to her tone to make sure. I wish I could read tones better. ‘Anything?’

‘Is something wrong, honey?’ Oh gods, she’s in a really benevolent mood. I grow more and more afraid of ruining that with my ‘obsession with gays’. 

‘Erm, so I guess you should know Dad and I had the tiniest disagreement just now,’ I say, deciding last minute to start with something she might deem ‘more relevant to the family’s personal lives’. ‘You know, we were watching the Euros and then the match ended and we watched the news, and then Dad changed the channel so he could watch the next match. And I was like ‘whoa, what’s with the video quality’, and so dad was like ‘you really need go get your eyes checked out’; and I tried to explain that there was a very obvious difference in quality between the two channels, and he kept yelling at me that I was ruining my eyesight spending all day staring at a screen.’

‘Did he sound annoyed or just concerned?’ Mum asks me.

‘I know what you’re thinking. And I know full well that he’s my parent and he’s concerned about my health. But you should have heard his tone.’

‘So are you two in a fight now?’

‘No. Well, I don’t know.’ I really don’t. It’s hard to tell when one side of the argument refuses to talk about his feelings as if that will kill him. But I don’t tell Mum that. She’s been dealing with Dad since long before I was even planned, so she knows him better than I do. ‘The thing is, he called me back and said that, well, one of the channels was HD and the other was not, so there was indeed a difference, but he thought it was ‘unnatural’ that I was able to register it so immediately, and he kept insisting there was something wrong with my eyes. I should think that seeing something quickly would be a sign of good vision, not bad. Besides,’ I keep talking, nearly  desperate to justify myself, ‘I did some research and sensitivity to light is a symptom of ADHD. So it’s nothing new, really.’

‘Oh, please, dear. You’re of a new generation, and ADHD is something of the older generation. Don’t be so quick to self-diagnose.’

I guess there’s some reason to what she says, or at least the last part of it, so I give up on pursuing the subject further. ‘Yeah, anyway,’ I say, ‘I just thought it was all a bit rich coming from the man who refuses to wear his prescription glasses. I haven’t got any prescription glasses, you know.’

I don’t want to come off too cheeky because I still want to try and talk to her about how happy Rodfini have made me today. A while ago, Mum would accuse me of only calling her to complain when I was unhappy, so I have since made it a point to call her when I am happy and tell her so. That’s why I’ve been itching to share this with her. And now the time has come.

‘You know, I’ve been crying in a completely different way today,’ I begin tentatively. ‘A good way, A really, really good way,’ I add quickly before she can get worried again.

‘Yeah? So what was it that made you so happy that you cried?’ Goodness, there’s no turning back now. I decide to proceed with caution.

‘Oh, well, it was this performance, you know. A really beautiful song. So I’ve been wanting to show it to you, but I was worried about how you’d react.’

‘And why would that be?’ she asks in the same kind tone that keeps making me anxious about potentially ruining everything.

‘Well, erm...’ I feel myself start to stutter. ‘See, it’s a love song, and it’s... ok, I’ll just say it. It’s sung by two guys. As in, a couple, you see.’ I keep feeling up the ground with my words, anxious to hear her reaction. It’s like when I’m opening an exam result -- I want to know, but I’m too scared to look. And so now, in my anxious despair to know what she thinks about it, I miss the beginning of her response. ‘And I know how you are about those things, so I...’ I genuinely don’t know what to say. I’ve done my thing again. I’ve kept talking so much that she hasn’t even been able to react audibly. So I trail off, determined to let her speak this time.

‘Ok, but... why do you get so affected by those things?’ Mum says, starting to sound suspiciously like she’s about to question my own orientation again. I feel the need to justify myself for the second time since the conversation has started.

‘Well, it’s just that... I really wish you would just see them, Mum. If you could just see how they look at each other, you’d see that there’s just love. So much love. And joy at being able to express themselves as they are.’

I’m speaking from the heart now. I am finally letting out how much I want her to give them a chance because she deserves to see and hear their magical performance. She must be sensing the anguished sincerity in my voice as I finally manage to stop crying and I smile through the tears, because she says, ‘Dear, are you... are you trying to tell me something there?’

I sigh. She’s asked me this question nearly every time I’ve started speaking ‘too’ passionately about anything LGBTQ+ Which isn’t an awful lot in her presence, but there have been several occasions. Once about Solangelo, at the beach. Once about NPH and his husband David and their children, at the dinner table, as I was trying to explain how same-sex couples can have kids; that one resulted in a seriously bad scene of the type I described earlier. Once about a participant in a reality show who identified as a gay man then, but has recently come out as a trans woman; whenever she’s been mentioned on television, I’ve fought to repress my inner urge to express my happiness for her and the representation she is for the Bulgarian LGBTQ+ community. I wonder even now if my parents have noticed my silence on the subject -- because they certainly do notice when I am not silent.

So now, when the time seems to have come for me to set things straight about my non-straight-ness (bad pun very much intended), I try my best to keep my voice from shaking. ‘I’m not trying to tell you anything I haven’t already told you, Mum. Really.’

‘Are you perhaps attracted to the same gender, dear?’ It seems so unbelievable that she’s said it, and even more that she’s worded like that, but she really has. I force myself to be calm and patient.

‘No, Mum. I’ve told you -- I am not attracted to any gender, be it male, female or anything else, really. You know that.’

‘Well, it sounded as if you--’

‘No, Mum. Really. But I do need you to understand that part of my identity is that I feel the need to support people with other identities different from straight. I’m happy for their successes. I'm concerned about their issues. They’re a sort of family to me. Do you understand that?’ I say, relieved to be speaking my truth at last. At the same time, I try to sound as reasonable and mature about the whole thing as possible. I don’t want to put her off, especially not now that I’m knee-deep in the subject already. I’ve gone too far to turn back now.

‘Yes, honey. Yes, I do. I just don’t want you to exert yourself emotionally, is all. Plus I’ve been so stressed out about your brother and all, you know...’

‘Yeah, I do know. And I know he’ll be fine. He’s a nice boy. I just wished he didn’t keep calling me ‘abnormal’ all the time...’

‘Oh, well, don’t listen to him. He’s been quite stressed out too. And he’s 14. It’s just how he is at this age.’

I’m not too sure about that. ‘Boys will be boys’. It’s ok for boys, then, to pour salt into their neurodivergent sisters’ wounds? I don’t think so. But I can’t fix every problem in one talk. Plus my mum sounds tired now.

So I just say, ‘I guess... Well, anyway, thank you so much, Mum. For hearing me out, and for supporting me, and for everything else. Please don’t worry so much.’

But I know she can’t not worry at all. I’ve got that from her.

‘If you’re sure you’re all ok now, dear...’

‘Yeah, mum, I am. Or I will be. You know, there’s this expression with English, ‘to run with something’. So I’ve been telling myself, I’ll at least try to walk with things. You know I’m not much of a runner anyway.’ I actually laugh, even though the pun is quite untranslatable into Bulgarian.

‘You know I’m proud of you, right?’

I know that has very little to do with the kind of pride I’ve been celebrating all month, but I say, ‘Of course I do. And you know what? I’m quite proud of myself, too.’ I can’t believe I’m saying it, but I mean it. I mean it wholeheartedly this time.

‘I’m nearly falling asleep, though, dear, so I say we call it a night?’

‘Good night, Mummy. And thanks.’

I hang up. Then I forward the video to her.

I’ve come so far, indeed. I reckon we both have.

[monomonomagines]

DR2 Boys as Monsters with a Human S/o Part 3

Wooh! I’m finally back writing and I had a ton of fun with this request if I’m entirely honest, especially since I had an idea on how to include Izuru as a fun bonus! I hope that you’ll all enjoy it as much as I did and expect for me to flesh out the lore with how Izuru and Hajime are tied together more in AO3 once we start uploding our more intricate Monster Au there! 

Part 3 (Part 1 here) (Part 2 here)

Fuyuhiko (Dragon)

Just as another day starts, it just as suddenly ends in the same manner with a few customers streaming into the bakery just before the day came to an end.

In the same manner, as you had grown accustomed to, entered the usual straggler that bought up all of your sweets that didn't sell, standing tall despite his small frame.

Approaching the glass and peering in like a child at the zoo, he still kept that same tough look on his face as he spoke up, his boyish voice giving an order more than a request.

"Give me everything you haven't sold today."

His eyes the hue of new spring growth with a goldish tint, don't bother to meet yours other than for that fleeting moment when they flick up to meet your gaze.

If you weren't used to him already, you would've assumed that he's quite a rude or shady guy but despite the fact that he always came bundled up in trenchcoat and other accessories to hide the shape of his figure he never caused even a stir in the bakery.

He always took your remaining sweets off of your hands at the very end of the night only to show up the next day and repeat the process.

Nodding you simply begin to carefully package the treats and begin to calculate the total while those same eyes from before followed your every move.

It was a bit funny to see such a tough-sounding guy always buying all of your sweets but you knew better than to voice that as you proceeded to relay the price of his goodies to him in the usual manner.

Like usual he pulled out some money from the pocket of his trenchcoat and places in your hands with his own gloved ones before telling you to, "Keep the change," and disappearing.

Normally you would leave around this time, that was what was typical but with your usual latecomer leaving you with nothing for the Holidays coming up you had no choice but to stay late to work on some fresh treats for the coming weekend.

It was going to be a long night, you thought as you got down to work.

After hours of baking and mixing and pouring you were going to call for a break when a strange golden light seeped in from the back window in the kitchen, piquing your curiosity.

The light seemed to be coming from the nearby forest, not too far but far enough behind all the greenery and trees that you had to draw closer to make out what it was.

There stood your usual latecomer, the straggler in the trenchcoat now shedding his disguise as he revealed his body to be covered in beautiful golden scales with a pair of wings and a tail to match.

You hadn't meant to stare, you knew it was none of your business what species your customers were but before you could attempt to turn back it seemed that he had caught onto your whereabouts.

Growling out in a way that made his sharp teeth visible even in the dead of night, he turns to you, his small form morphing into a much larger one as he reveals his true form to you.

"Don't scream!" He says, picking you up in his mouth with his discarded clothes as he lifts off into the sky.

As much as you wanted to scream, you could feel the fight leave your body as you were lifted off the ground and high into the sky.

This couldn't be happening! Your usual was a dragon, a literal gold dragon! There was no mistaking that this wasn't a dream with his gentle hold on you as you two flew but you didn't know if you wanted it to be real.

By the time this inner turmoil began to swirl about like a raging riptide it was already far too late. As suddenly as you had been lifted off the ground you were soon gently placed on it again, feelings your legs shake as they relished the feeling of solid ground to stand upon.

Now it was time for your captor to return to his previous humanesque form throwing on the trenchcoat once again, this time leaving it open enough for you to see his body underneath still.

Once you took it all in, he had placed you before a traditional-style Japanese house, the type you had only seen on rare occasions with its size when he spoke up, those same golden-green eyes gazing upon you.

"All right, I'll get down to business, how much do you want to keep your mouth shut?"

Huh? That's what he wanted to talk about, he wasn't going to kill you? To your obvious confusion, all he could do was smirk. It wasn't a playful kind of smirk though, let alone even a snarky one. The kind of expression he gave off felt dangerous as though he was trying to convey that refusing to comply would make it useless for him to have brought you this far.

"I'm not bribing you to be nice, Human. I know you've realized what I am and who I am, anyone would know by the scales that I'm the head of the Kuzuryuu Clan after all and as easy as it could be to kill you, I don't want to lose my source for my horde. Either, you accept my money or you disappear. Those are the only options you get!"

Despite his overly malicious sounding tone, his eyes bore into yours and for a moment you felt as you saw more than a dragon and Yakuza head threatening you.

In his eyes you saw a piece of who he really was, he was like a child begging you to have another cookie. He was vulnerable because of the simple knowledge that he liked sweets and even if you technically had no choice other than to allow him that, you wanted to.

In that moment your answer was clear, you'd allow him, the head of the Kuzuryuu clan to bribe you for your silence so that he could continue to indulge himself with your sweets.

That was what began your new-found "comradery" with Fuyuhiko. Now he was not only your usual latecomer in a trenchcoat, now he was the Golden Dragon that bought all your sweets and ate a portion of his spoils in the safety of your bakery after hours.

At least he was for months on end that is. However, after eating and talking with you over his sweets in the bakery so many times he seemed to be not as fond of the setting as he asked you to come with him to the same house he had taken you to before.

He had respected your wishes not to fly, saying something along the lines of that It's "not like he gives a damn" as he waited for your arrival.

As impatiently as ever, he wouldn't waste a moment once you did, dragging you off to a room to show you an impressive horde of all kinds of gems and gold and other treasures.

"So, you think this is my horde right?"

He asks with bated breathe as his eyes scan yours searching for something as though he knew there was something for him to find, but at your affirmation those same eyes seemed to soften as he let out a deep sigh.

"Well, you're fucking wrong! None of this is my horde, it's just for appearances for the clan. My real horde, my treasures...I actually wanted to share them with you but you have to swear not to tell anyone about this! You have to or else I really will kill you!"

He grumbles out, seeming more embarrassed than actually hostile as he waits for you to agree once more before pulling you into a hidden side room.

Upon first glance, it didn't seem to be anything special but as soon as your eyes focused in on the giant stash of sweets you knew. These were all the sweets that you had been baking lately, most of his leftovers from the nights he visited.

But why did he want to give a piece to you of all people? You knew you had gotten close and you did have feelings for him after getting to see the more intimate parts of him that you got glimpses of but if this was some kind of custom it surely was lost on you.

All you could manage to do was to thank him as he handed you a fried doughnut with some kind of childlike anticipation.

"What the fuck do you mean thank-" he stops to pinch the bridge of his nose, as though to cut himself off purposely before continuing-"You really don't know what this means do you?"

Reluctantly biting into the doughnut you nod again, waiting for him to explain, a light dusting of red coating his cheeks as much as the powdered sugar on your doughnut.

"It means, I...I want to be mates, you idiot."

Hajime (Alien)

Although you were planning on having a quiet evening in away from excitement, it seemed that the world had decided to ruin your plans by bringing the excitement directly to your doorstep.

It was well into the night, at least midnight if you were to approximate when you heard a deafening sound come from your backyard.

It sounded like a huge collision, possibly a horrible car crash or some other type of terrible event, an event the likes of which you didn't wish to get up to witness.

However, even though you had decided to attempt to remain under your covers where the world seemed so deceivingly warm, you were wrenched from your peaceful thoughts as a firm but polite knock at your back door assaulted your eardrums.

Ok, so maybe you were exaggerating but with this being your day off you really wanted to stay inside without anything concerning you, and someone needing your help after a crash was not in your plans in the slightest.

This was the right thing to do though, you told yourself as you approached the door and noticed the brunette on the other side with a worried expression etched across his features.

"Hello, I'm sorry for bothering you so late. I was hoping if I could stay the night here, I'm afraid I have no way to get home and I'm not really feeling too well after crash landing."

Maybe it was the sleep deprivation from staying up most of the night the day prior to your relaxation day or maybe it was that the words "crash landing" didn't register in that moment but before you could internally scream at yourself you were already allowing him into your home witnessing his odd appearance.

Well, he wasn't all that strange. He seemed to look just like an average guy other than the weird clothes and fuzzy antennae on the top of his head bouncing with every step he took.

"Thank you so much for allowing me to stay here. I was beginning to feel a bit sick after having to destroy what was last of my ship with the emergency protocol. It's probably just from the motions of crashing and all so if you don't mind I'll just need to lay down for a moment."

Despite his polite tone, he did seem a bit off-centered as he wobbled his way to your couch, laying down like it was some newfound sanctuary that he couldn't wait to reach.

Even if you wanted to say that this was normal, you knew at this point that something was up. Why was he dressed so weird, what was he going on about, and really what's with the antennae? Despite the number of questions beginning to multiply within your mind all you could manage to do in your tired stupor was to wobble over to him yourself, outstretching your hands to feel the fuzzy dancing receptors atop his spiky hair.

"W-what are you!?" seeming to contort his own face in confusion or even skepticism akin to your own he remarks, "So that's how you're feeling. You're apprehensive of me, right?"

Perhaps this would be the moment to respond or to even acknowledge the fact that he seems to have the power to understand what you feel once you're within a certain proximity of him. Perhaps you should have some deep revelation in this moment but with your lovely evening ruined by this interloper you decided instead to ignore any revelation, giving the fuzzy sensory appendages a hard tug to see if they'd come off.

"Ouch! S-stop that hurts!" He yells out into your head, his teeth gritted.

Huh? Did he just speak to you telepathically? Immediately understanding your mistake you unhand him, the realization that there's a real live alien laying on your couch finally sinking in.

"I didn't realize that you didn't understand the situation. Are you sure you don't need to lay down now? You seem more shaken up than I am." He replies sitting up to make eye contact with you.

As much as you wanted to agree, you now had even more questions overwhelming your very senses. You needed to know why and how he was here, immediately. Why did he show up tonight of all nights and here when it's supposed to be your day off!?

"I hadn't realized that I'd cause such a disturbance, although I guess I can't say I didn't consider it. I really don't have anywhere to go though so please allow me to stay here, even if it's just for a few! I'll learn to do whatever I have to earn my keep!"

He gives you a determined look as you gaze back shocked by the sudden proposal. He couldn't work but it's not like you wanted to turn him away. Guess this means that you got yourself an alien housewife or so the joke goes.

Allowing yourself a moment to breathe you accept his proposal, on the condition that he takes care of the house, dinner, and anything else around the place that was necessary to bettering it.

You knew it was probably a small feat for an alien compared to a human and with his quick approval you knew that you two would have a new exciting relationship blooming, even if it was just a symbiotic one.

Months have passed now since that day and despite your and Hajime's growing relationship, one thing never seemed to change.

Hajime rarely seemed to show much emotion unless he could get a reading off of you.

It was something that had started endearing but with him asking for your assistance in acting more human you had begun to wonder how to make it so that he would act more emotional without basing his feelings at the moment on others.

That's when an idea struck you! You would take him to a "Haunted House" you knew of. It wasn't exactly haunted as far as you knew but it's not like he'd know that and with a good scare you'd be sure to see his expression change even if just a bit.

What you anticipated didn't happen though as Hajime seemed spaced out the entire time you were there. Try as you might, it seemed that nothing changed that blank expression of his as you weaved intricate scary stories, claimed to see things not there, and even asked him if he "heard that sound" repeatedly.

Just what was he so focused on anyway!? You cursed to yourself when a warmth on your hand snapped you out of those thoughts.

"S/o?" he asks, his hands on your own as his forest colored orbs peer back at you, "Is this like what the human couples do? At home, I've witnessed enough TV to presume that you did this in order to court me in accordance with your established feelings for me. Am I right about that?"

Oh, right he can read your emotions and all. How didn't you think of him knowing all this time?

Taking your silence as an affirmation, he gently smiles at you catching you off guard with this rare expression and the words that had joined it. "I...I know it may be a bit sudden, but I do feel the same. I know I'm simply supposed to be earning my keep but would you allow me to be your boyfriend as you put it?"

Izuru (???)

After your strange rendezvous with Hajime in the "Haunted House," you took him to, you imagined that all would be normal or at least the state of normalcy you were used to with your new alien boyfriend.

However, something seemed off since you two had returned. Hajime had begun to space out often, seeming to move around without any recollection of what had just happened.

It was of course worrying but it wasn't like you could do take him to a doctor when he was an alien. You were left with little to no options other than to wait for it to pass if it would and to try to support him no matter what.

As this process continued with Hajime's face going blank and his body moving without his knowledge you only grew more fearful.

Now even when you tried to sleep beside him you'd end up tossing and turning or waking up every few hours out of fear that you'd lose him.

One night in particular though, he wasn't in bed with you when you had woken up. Perhaps it had been because of the raging storm that your ears picked up as soon as you had awoken or that he had to use the bathroom but at the same time you just knew that couldn't be it.

Something had to be amiss with how he's been acting, you couldn't think of anything else even if you had nothing to back up your thoughts.

Feeling the adrenaline shoot through your body you tore your way downstairs to see his silhouette in the kitchen looking out of the window at the pouring rain, only snapping around to look at you when you called out his name.

"So, you've awoken." He remarks, sounding more deadpan than ever before as his eyes gaze upon you, those same forest green orbs seeming cold and analytical as though there wasn't an ounce of life left behind them.

This wasn't Hajime, this was something else, you thought as whatever was before you tilted its head.

"You are right," you heard within your own head. "I'm able to access his powers though meaning that we can speak like this."

Taking in his form, illuminated by a flash of lightening you noticed how he floated a mere inch or two off the ground as he continued to stare through you with that expressionless face.

"I can tell you're scared of me but I don't mean any harm. Do you remember that "Haunted" house you took Hajime to?"

How did he know about that? As much as your thoughts swam about in your head, he seemed to be calm as ever simply floating closer to you.

"I'm surprised you're not getting this already," he sighs still inside your mind causing you to shiver from the strange sensation as he continues, "I'm a ghost, I died out long ago but I stopped being human long before that. I was the product of an experiment, an alien experiment so I thought that possessing the very same thing that stole my humanity would be interesting."

Drawing closer, his gaze bores into you, feeling an icy breath as his lips rest just an inch or so away from yours unmoving as he finishes his previous speech.

"But, like with everything else in this world I'm still so bored."

As soon as it seemed like he would possibly kiss you the body of your boyfriend fell into you still deep asleep as though he had never stirred in the first place.

You were lucky you could catch him but you knew you'd need to tell him about what happened.

As you dragged the two of you back to bed, trying to muffle the memory of that horrifying event and the onslaught of rain you felt a single name roll off your lips before you fell into a deep slumber.

"Izuru Kamakura."

[totallynotnerdy63]

Little Mermaid (Underswap Sans x Reader) Rating: General Audiences.

This is a one shot from my Fairy Tale AU series cross posted on Ao3. I hope you enjoy this, I know I certainly did! All ownership goes to UnderSwap’s Sans creator. (I forgot what your name was :/) Now for a fluffy Little Mermaid retelling Sans x Reader

The surface dwellers had always intrigued you. All of their wondrous inventions were always ruined by the time they were found. From those strange metal objects with small spikes on the edge of them, loving dubbed "triple knives" by the Royal Appraiser, to the peculiar soggy things that were bound in leather and dissolved when you touched them.

You loved exploring the wreckages, always discovering more inventions. Your favorite being a strange instrument that when flipped, sand would drop to the bottom. You would play with it for hours, it never seized to amaze you at what the humans invented.

Your family looked down on your habits, calling you eccentric and strange. You paid them no mind though, and greatly enjoyed your time exploring.

But with each discovery, your longing to view the surface grew more and more. You wanted so badly to be able to walk amongst the Land Dwellers, you'd gladly kill yourself for even a day with them. You had waited patiently for your eighteenth birthday, that would be the day you'd visit the Surface!

Instead of watching from underwater you could swim to the Surface and see all the wonders! (From a safe distance of course.) You eagerly counted down the days until your birthday, month after month, week after week, and finally day after day. Then, it finally arrived, your birthday was tomorrow!

With pleasurable mood you went about your business, excitement in the thought you'd view the surface finally! As you swam through the city, a gathering of people caught your attention. Drawn by the crowd you swam to the front, people parting to let you pass.

"Our great king Triton passes a Royal Degree that on the people's eighteenth birthday, they shall be no longer be allowed to the Surface." The crowd muttered, and you felt your heart shattering. How could your father do this to you? You squared your shoulders in Determination and swam towards the palace, determined to change his mind.

You sobbed on your bed, the water contorting around you. Your father had forbidden you from leaving the palace. The new law was to protect you. According to him your obsession with the Surface was becoming dangerous, and when you had come to your senses you'd be allowed to roam the palace freely again.

You sniffed softly, your tears slowly stopping. You wouldn't let this stop you, you'd...find a way around it. You began planning. If anyone could help you it was the Sea Witch Ursula. You had heard many stories about her. Some good, some evil, some in the middle ground.

You waited until night had fallen, and your family was dinning happily in the Banquet Hall. Bitterly you swam through the Halls and out the main gate, disappearing into the Kelp Forest.

You floated nervously in front of the cave entrance. This was Ursula's lair, you were sure of it. You tentatively began to push yourself forward, but you got cold fins and began to backpedal. Turning away, face distraught at your failure and disappointment in your eyes, you almost missed the voice calling out to you.

"Dear child. Come in~ visitorssss are alwayssss welcomed here." A voice hissed at you. You swallowed, and slowly began the swim into the cave.

You followed along the passage, the voice guiding you along. Finally you reached the end, entering a large room, you felt your heart stop.

A large imposing siren was stirring a potion over an enchanted fire. You had heard stories of your ancestors, but having never met one. Your tail twitched nervously as she remained entranced in her potion.

"Come in dear~ I won't bite." She hissed, her voice was obviously old and ruined. "Tell me what troubles you? Could it a young man? A romance unrequited? Perhaps you have a family member who lays ill. Or maybe..." She turned and peered at you, "You wish to visit the Surface like a Land Dweller." She hissed the last part with distaste, and you felt your blood run cold at both her tone, and the words she spoke. How did she know?

"You are not the first to come seeking that, nor will you be the last. The price will be high, but it is payable." You felt your heart leap with joy, before feeling it sink as her words registered. A...high price? No matter, you'd willingly pay it!

"What would you like Lady Ursula, be it my throne, my first born, or anything else, I guarantee you shall have it." You murmured lowly, eyes staring fiercely into hers.

She laughed, her voice echoing eerily around the cavern. "My child, I need none of that. All I wish for is your voice. That's all, I will grant you what you desire, in return for your voice."

You felt your heart fall again. Your voice was one of your best characteristics, it was prized by your father as the best of all of your sisters. Not that it mattered, it was unlikely you'd see them again.

"If I give you my voice, I can go to the Surface? For how long?" Your voice wavered slightly, but grew firm.

"Until you die my child, or... I could make a deal with you." Her mouth formed into a sharp grin and you eyed them wearily.

"What kind of deal?" You narrowed your eyes, deals with those who dabbled in magic were not to be trusted.

"If you find someone to fall in love with, and who loves you in return. Your voice will be returned to you. You will only have three months to preform this task, and if you fail, you shall become the foam on the sea." You shifted nervously. You might could've charmed someone with your voice, but without would be much more difficult than with it. But what the hell, if you died so what?

"I accept." You eagerly held out a hand to the enchantress.

She grinned deeply, "then let us begin."

You winced as you numbly felt your mouth with your fingers, your tongue had been sliced out, if someone did fall in love with you, it would grow back.

"Here." Ursula gave you a small vial filled with a lilac potion. You eyed it, "Relax, this is the potion that will turn you human now, be sure to-" You snatched the vial eagerly and swam away, missing the last part of her message. "Foolish child."

You grinned as you swam through the kelp forest, unable to wait any longer you popped the bottle open and downed the liquid inside. Suddenly you gasped in pain, as something began burning and searing at your body. You tail felt like it was being torn in two, and your gills felt clogged. You struggled momentarily, closing your eyes in pain before it stopped. You cracked your eyes and to your glee there were two dangly things instead of a tail! You tried to shout in excitement, but found yourself unable to breath. In your haste you had forgotten Land Dwellers couldn't breath water!

You attempted to swim upwards but felt dismayed as you couldn't swim as quickly. Black spots began to fill your vision, just before you reached the surface you lost consciousness and plummeted into the depths.

"HUMAN! WAKE UP!" A loud voice shouted in your ear and you bolted upwards. Confusion flooded you as you looked at your surroundings...this wasn't underwater. This...wasn't UNDERWATER! You pumped a fist in triumph, celebration on the forefront of your mind...until someone cleared their voice. "GLAD TO SEE YOUR AWAKE! THE MEDICS WERE AFRAID YOU WOULDN'T WAKE UP!" You turned your eyes upon him, this was the first Land Dweller you'd meet. You blinked in surprise, this was not what you were expecting. A large skeleton stood before you. There were literal stars in his eyes and his gaze met yours. You managed to scramble to your knees and you pit your hands on his face trying to examine him.

"ERM HUMAN, AS MAGNIFICENT AS I AM. I MUST ASK THAT YOU REFRAIN FROM TOUCHING ME WITHOUT PERMISSION. I APPRECIATE YOUR EAGERNESS THOUGH." You flushed and jumped backwards, and you met his gaze apologetically. He simply laughed softly at you.

"IT'S OK LITTLE HUMAN. I KNOW I AM IRRESISTIBLE! I'M HAPPY YOU SEEM OK! IT SEEMED LIKE SOMEONE HAD TRIED TO HURT YOU!" You blinked confused, someone tried to hurt you? You opened your mouth to explain, but stopped when you couldn't get any sounds to come forth. Oh. That was why. You shrugged sheepishly at the Skeleton's look, and tried to mime an explanation but stopped when he looked more confused.

"YOU MUST WANT MY NAME HUMAN! MY NAME IS THE MAGNIFICENT SANS! PRINCE OF SNOWDIN KINGDOM! CAN YOU WRITE SMALL HUMAN?" You smiled at that, Sans was a fitting name from him.

You stared at him quizzically when he mentioned writing, what was writing? it sounded pretty.

Noticing your confusion he opened a drawer and pulled out parchment and a charcoal pencil. You leaned forward cautiously as he scribbled something on the paper.  Holding it up you could faintly make out familiar markings, it looked similar to the Mermish Alphabet. You held out your hand tentatively. You wanted to try to make the strange marks too! "OH! DO YOU WANT TO TRY HUMAN?" You beamed up at him, glad he had gotten the hint. He placed the stick in your hand and you poked it at the strange paper thing. You squeaked when it left a mark, and you peered up shocked at Sans who laughed at you.

"HERE...HUMAN LIKE THIS ~"

@#$@@$@@$@$@%@$&@%@%#&@%#&#%@%#%#%#%#%@@&#&@%%#

It's been almost two months since you had become human. Sans had become your best friend. You loved your time on the Surface. Everything amazed you, you learned the "triple knives" thing was actually a nifty invention called a fork! And it was meant for food, not hair! There were many of those sand things that you learned were called Sand Glasses and they would count the time for you.

Sans had a wonderful brother named Papyrus who made continuous puns and jokes to Sans eternal annoyance. You how ever loved them and could (and would) listen to them for hours.

You were feeling slightly nervous as your time was almost up! But you had something that would help everything go faster now! Sans had hired a tutor to teach you how to read and write, and you were now fluent in English writing!

You sat in a restaurant grinning at the person before you who was looking at you skeptically. You clasped your notebook eagerly and grinned at them.

They sent you a wink and placed a hand on your shoulder. "So sweetheart, what brings you around here?" You quickly scribbled a note in your notebook explaining how you were lonely and looking for a friend. They skimmed over it and chuckled softly. "Not gotta voice?" You raised an eyebrow at them, your action clearly speaking your meaning.

They laughed a booming laugh. "No need to yell at me Sweetheart ~" They grinned down at you. "So what'da wanna eat?" You beamed back at him, quickly growing comfortable with them.

You squealed happily! The friendship date went so well! You did a strange little happy dance, and practically skipped to your room. You weren't paying attention to where you were going and ran straight into Sans's *fiancé*. She absolutely hated you. So it was no surprise when she glared at you, the scowl on her face more evident than ever. You mimed an apology but she simply grew angrier.

"How dare you!" Her shrill voice hissed out, "you pathetic wretch!" She went to slap you, but you scrambled backwards and ducked away from her with a laugh. You slipped into your room and locked the door with a quiet click.

Letting out a happy hum you began to write down in your journal about your new friend, and hopefully soon to be lover, Alex.

@%#&##@&$@4&##$#&+(%$$!((&$4+($$&+%+:%(+&-?!%-;%+;%++'6(+?%#;@(#+

Things had been going so well with Alex, you were head over heels in love with him, and he seemed to feel the same way about you!

He was constantly hanging around the castle just to see you! Nothing made you more happy than to see his slightly messy appearance, coming jogging towards you out of one of the castle corridors.

Which is why it came as such a shock when it was revealed by a maid, he was seen snogging Sans's fiancé. Your heart felt like it was breaking. You only had two days left until your time was up.

You bitterly cried for hours, as he had revealed to you he never had any interest in you besides platonic friendship. You were going to die tomorrow and you couldn't stop it.

Sans tried to comfort you, but couldn't do much due to his own misery at his ex fiancée and his unknowningness of your situation.

Finally he left you, and retreated distraught to his room. You continued crying until the next day. You felt numb. Your family was right, the Land Dwellers were a cruel people, aside from a few exceptions. Sans was one of those people.

You dried your tears and pulled your notebook to you, writing out the whole story. For the most part. Tearing out those pages you gently folded them and placed them on the bed.

You then dressed yourself properly and began the trek to the sea. Each step you took was painful, it felt like sharp knives were pricking your feet, and the sun felt like fire upon your fair skin. You had already spent your time mourning, so you simply climbed down the cliffs and sat waiting for the sun to set.

You hadn't expected for it to go like this. You had been so confident in your abilities to charm someone. A lone tear trailed down your face, but before it fell something caught it.

Or should you say someone? You glared up at Sans through a blur of tears. How dare he follow you here, the sun was almost set.

He knelt beside you and laid his head on your shoulder, "Why Didn't You Tell Me Before?" He whispered, "I Could've Helped You." You shrugged, determined to get him to leave before you...passed.

"..." his voice shook when he spoke again. "I'll Kill Myself Then." You stared up startled at him, shock and horror evident on your face. "Yes. I Don't Want To Be Without You... You Mean The World To Me..." His hands shook, a rustle of paper making your realize he had the papers you had left clutched in his hand.

You shook your head no at him, but he ignored you. "Please. I Don't Care If Papyrus Would Be Left Alone, I Love You So Much." His arms wrapped around you and made you shake slightly.

You were still processing the words he said, until you realized with a sniff the sun was almost gone. You reached a hand up to pat his arm in a comforting way to try and say "no, don't kill yourself." You closed your eyes as the sun set.

The pain to your relief stopped, and you blacked out in relief. It was over, you hoped Sans wouldn't kill himself.

Suddenly a burst of light brought you back into reality with a gasp. Sans held your body sobbing and you blinked up at him. Why was he crying? You were free now? You felt his tears hit your face. And in your desperation you tried calling out his name. "Sanssss" Sans jumped in surprise, sockets popping open to stare at you. He mouthed the word what, and you tried again.

"Sannsssss" he stared at you with an open jaw, before giving a croak and cradling your head close to him.

"Oh Thank The Stars, I Thought I'd Lost You." He sniffed into your shoulder and you smiled softly. You were dead and nothing would change that.

Sans brought his lips to yours in a delicate kiss, forcing you to realize that you were alive.

"What the hell?" You mumbled into the kiss.

[transsexualhamlet]

tg anime vs manga *sighs*

i have the power of hyperfixation and anime on my side! AAAAAAAA

Ok now that we’ve gotten the sins of re post out of the way we need to discuss this. And I just feel that this needs to be covered because I can’t ever get away from constant discourse on this, mostly fueled by manga readers who feel entitled to always think they’re superior for reading the manga, that the manga is the only real canon, that it’s more complex or better, I’m so fucking tired of it. I am also a manga reader, and I tend to get like that sometimes too with many series (for example no. 6 and the promised neverland.) I get it. It can be really annoying to see something butchered on screen to what the original is, changed or represented differently or given a different message or simplified. But just. Some people like the anime and it’s not a goddamn holy war for y’all to fight. It only makes anime fans not want to read the thing even more yknow cause manga readers are pretentious assholes, and I am aware of this as one of them.

(again ok i’d like to mention i know this fandom is basically dead but a certain p*nterest is always like 4 years behind on fandoms so i keep fucking running into Discourse that’s like, still current, whenever i want old random ass content) (and youtube, why do i look at youtube comments, because I personally enjoy being offended? yeah probably)

And that brings me to the point of this anime vs manga. 

This is a lot harder to compare than a lot of other series, because there are just... so many more differences not just in the style and vibe but the story itself.

Disclaimer, I’ve never watched the anime for :re and i don’t intend to, because I honestly have no earthly clue how tf you can get from the highly diverged tokyo ghoul root A to re and make it make sense, and I don’t really want A ruined for me. So you can call me biased towards the manga in the case of re, i guess (which makes my eventual conclusion even more strong I’d say) Honestly I just see them as two completely different stories, the manga’s version connecting with re and A just like... ending there. So how we’re drawing the lines is basically tokyo ghoul A versus the manga and :re. God, I know this isn’t a fair fight because I already hate re so much, but I feel like the manga’s story is much more intertwined with :re than the anime’s is, so that’s what we’re going with.

oh god also another disclaimer this opinion is coming from the biggest fucking kanehide whore, you can disregard anything i say if you ship The Straights and/or do not care for my boi hide

To be honest, if I can take my own conclusions and liberties to the story, I like both versions, each have their pros and cons and kind of a conflicting message. They can’t really coexist. Usually I’d consume all versions and then create one consistent canon in my head for what I accept as the true events (for example my main owari no seraph, first season of the anime is canon but after that we only follow the manga since those can come together and make sense.) but it’s very hard to do that in tokyo ghoul, since I must confess... I really like root A. Like of course, it’s a lot different from the manga, but tbh I think it’s super valid. (unlike most Fans TM like this Fan TM who i’m sending this post to just to spite their singular Youtube Comment Section Discourse, yes I did write this post for you and many others like you) But the ideas that make up root A conflict a lot with the ones of the manga, so I just have to accept that they’re separate things and treat them as such.

Now to break it down so people can understand where I’m coming from I guess? God this is already so long here’s a read more

The Case for The Manga (including :re manga)

More Lore + Plot Shit: One of the main reasons that manga readers are pretentious little bitches is a valid reason, namely that, as is the case with most manga, there’s simply more to it than people can fit into an anime. (Although people need to understand that’s because,,, it’s simply a different medium, so it will have different pluses and minuses, such as for example a soundtrack, color, moving pictures,,, you know, all that. Anime onlys don’t say that the anime is better by stating these things that a manga won’t have... because they’re fucking obvious. So manga readers should stop acting like an anime is inherently sub-par for being less in depth, but we digress.) I can understand that reading the manga is kind of important for wanting to understand the lore (though there are like so many other reasons ppl might want to watch it other than to get the lore) and without the explanation of how all this came to be and how it works, everything tends to be really mysterious, confusing, and seemingly random. It’s really nice to know what’s all going on, of course, and stuff like the washuus, rize’s backstory, the explanation for like, kaneki in general, all that- if you’re looking for like, plot shit, manga is definitely your go to. But like, sometimes, you like, don’t actually care about those things.

Haise: Of course one of the most important things about well, including re is that I fucking love Haise. Like he is my favorite Kaneki. He’s just so wonderful, look at him in he glasses and he floofy hair and he striped pants and he energy boxers and he s p i c e and he MOM. And I really like how they took Kaneki’s character and developed it more with Haise, you can see his turnaround from innocent--> Emo--> Trying To Be Innocent Again But Failing and I think that’s really sweet tbh. I rejected that at first because I didn’t understand it but once I actually read re I thought it made a lot of sense and was a logical thing to do with his character. (though, uh, moving forward, after his hair changes again i disagree with it, haise 1.0 is a good take and i love him and i want the best for him) I could go on I’ve already written a post of what I think is wrong with :re so if you want to hear my take on kaneki’s 37 pokemon evolutions that’s in there

Good New Characters: And of course there are my favorite bitches such as quinx squad, oh my god, there was a terminal lack of dumbass squad vibes in the original and ishida fucking gave it to us, I love them, I love them with all my heart and I think that if I wasn’t attached to them I’d probably just cancel all of :re but like this is just my personal problem. God I love them. Ishida always pulls through with characters I’m now too attached to.

Vore Lmao:Ok like hear me out. I just get a laugh out of it every time the manga has to remind me of this little fucking fact. Like ok I just. Cannot get over it. It’s so serious about it too and like I realize it’s a serious deal but o h  m y  g o d

Ok and now that we’ve got that little rant over I do want to say that it is like actually really important past the “lmao that’s pretty gay” bit, like??? In some ways it’s more fitting than the anime because well, ishida’s point always seems to be “what would mentally and physically hurt kaneki the most right now” and does it because that’s who this bitch is. But it just?? Kind of makes a bit more sense for the storyline if we’re being picky here, it’s so,,, painfully on point? Like the entire reason he gave in to Being A Ghoul and all was so he could save his friends and shit (i actually do not remember if this was a thing in the manga but like? when he was being tortured and he like imagined hide being really mad at him and getting killed by jason and shit?) LIKE AND THEN HE GOES AND HAS TO BASICALLY BE THE PERPETRATOR OF THAT HIMSELF, FUCK, it’s a lose/lose situation of “don’t do the bad thing and watch your friends suffer” or “do the bad thing and watch your friends suffer but like, later” ishida please

The meaning of Hide being alive: Ok this is just me crying over chapter 75 still but like. Instead of in the anime, where hide’s point seems to be that instead of letting kaneki sacrifice anything more he’d be the one to give his life up and such, and save kaneki, in the anime tbh he just really wanted to be with kaneki right then?? and like ouch but understanding that in the manga he wasn’t just planning on dying and leaving kaneki to deal with it afterward he wanted to go on and continue to try to help the guy no matter the shit he had to go through, no matter if the dude just like forgot that he existed for two years and all- LIKE UH CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW HIDE DOESN’T EVEN EXPECT ANY APOLOGY? like kaneki’s like “OH MY GOD I’M SUCH A TERRIBLE PERSON” and hide’s like lmao nah it’s cool i’m thriving- that his big motto was “live” rather than “peace out motherfuckers it’s been fun”. Cause. Fucking. Ishida. Can’t kill off characters well but like at least he made keeping this one alive justified. 

The D e t a i l s: Ok well I feel like this is something everyone knows but the anime is missing a lot of really,,, crunchy details that the manga throws in there, like, well, kaneki’s fucking,,, bones thing, and other assorted details, g o d like those are missable if you want to never understand half the memes but also like,,, sometimes you just gotta read that shit. It also like, makes more sense when you do but sometimes it’s just stupid things that aren’t important but are fucking hilarious.

The Flavor: In general I’d say the greatest difference between the anime and the manga is the general flavor of the thing, the vibe in the manga is a lot, to be frank, darker and grosser and bloodier than the anime, which is a lot more focused on being pretty and Tragic than “HOLY SHIT WTF” but like. That’s valid. With that comes it being a lot more, real, and although the art may not be as polished as the anime’s, sometimes that’s exactly what you need, and the really gritty sketchy shit that’s in the manga sometimes is exactly what it’s supposed to be for the manga. (in the anime, i’d say that the colored and polished style fits it better, so we’re good there.) It’s a lot more real, in the manga, when the anime hesitates to “go there” a lot (and well, sometimes that’s welcome, but sometimes it’s like y o u  g u y s  c o m e  o n  r e a l l y maybe i DID want to see that did you ever think of that)

So like, to sum it up i’d just like to say it’s more detailed, sharper and darker and is simply So Much. There is just More Content

The Case for Root A

ON THE OTHER HAND, (buckle up fuckers)

Depth of Emotion (that Ishida was too much of a pissbaby for): God like you know what I mean if you read the last post, we spent a whole episode on these gay fucks in root A, with backstory and dreams and drawn out suspense and emotion and GUYS LOOK AT THEM NO REALLY OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS whereas hide’s limelight in the manga is a whole... two pages, oh whoopee, and that’s mostly due to the fact of ishida putting himself in a spot of “oh fuck goddamn if i drew that in i’d get flagged for gay porn” but that’s his own fault, so he downplays the whole scene and really keeps it in the dark, whereas in this anime it’s understandably a lot less,,, like that, but how it plays out here is simply... really nice and makes you cry and shit, whereas in the manga I’d go “oh god oh damn oh fuck” *laughs my ass off because i really can’t take this seriously*. You get just... more here.

To elaborate on this, in the anime, as a gay fucking bastard, I can get practically an endless amount of content from episode twelve, and endlessly stew over all Those Things about it, every hard hitting line, the expressions, the music making it even sadder, the ways the VAs say the words, the cinematic beauty of the blood dripping on the floor and like how it’s supposed to make you think it’s kaneki’s, GOD I COULD FUCKING GO ON, but if we want to get that in the manga... 

we get three incredibly basic lines, a blackout, and then a “QUICK LET’S MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE BEFORE ANYONE NOTICES THE IMPLICATIONS OF THAT HAHA”

So if we want to have more, we need to write it. (sadly) None of it is ever played out canonically so like,,, all we can do is infer and make shit up. It’s like, I am a writer so like that’s my whole job but I really would rather have more content, and have the content that’s there get to be emotional instead of *blank face* “this is plot that is happening, sadly” but like maybe it’s just bc i’m gay

Really Fucking Beautiful (aesthetically as well as story-wise): This kind of just goes hand in hand with the depth of emotion bit, and I think it can’t really compared to the manga here because I’m gay so I see pretty colors and cry so the anime is understandably appealing for me, but I’m also talking emotionally, yeah. There’s a lot of plotlines and implications of the story that are really well played out, I always love to watch the original because it does a very good job handling a lot of the harder topics and stuff that makes the whole thing worthwhile- like the whole point you’re supposed to see that the ghouls and humans are both just as monstrous when you break it down, that there are good and bad people on both sides, everyone just wants to live and feel good in their own life and perspective, everyone has reasons that justify their behaviour in their mind, sometimes you just can’t win no matter what, all that... they’re all really important messages and make the whole story, and they were handled much more delicately and with more expertise in the anime. 

It’s hard to pin down, but I feel like the manga was just based more on Fight Scenes Characters OoH Fake Science and kind of just gave kaneki infinite power ups after Trying Harder no offense, obviously those things were there and they were still very good in the manga it’s just sometimes they were cheapened a lot by ishida really not keeping track of what he’s trying to say with his story and sacrificing it a lot for “BUT WHAT IF KANEKI’S HAIR AND IDEALS CHANGED AGAIN” instead of making it a whole cohesive work. (and yes, I am VERY aware of your “well aCtuAlLy the hair represents his sanity” thing i know i know and i’m about to rip it to fucking shreds so)

Understandable Character Development And Staying True To It: Which brings me to this point, character development. This was another thing that was just... handled with more expertise in the anime, whoever was in charge of it. Mostly this has to do with Kaneki, since like, no offense but he’s the only one who ever gets much character development other than like, juuzou (asmr you only get character development if your hair color changes) oh and i guess there’s tsukiyama but he’s someone who shouldn’t have gotten character development. Touka gets character development only before re for some reason, and like tbh that’s kind of it. I do think Juuzou’s character development was valid, because well... it made sense? I complained about it before because I was like “well he just turns into spicy L” but i’ve since changed my opinion, he’s best boy. But Kaneki? They went way overboard with him in the manga, and generally? Calm tf down ishida.

Breaking it down, one of the main things that most of the tried and true manga stans seem to hate about the anime the most is Kaneki going over to Aogiri in root A. Since they’re much more acclimated to the manga, they don’t understand why he would do that (quoting a particular ‘probably made sense in the manga!’ yes i know that whole thing was poking fun at the show and i felt it lmao) and they just pin it to “ahaha he has now become Edgy for the fans ehehe time to make fun of him” and TO BE FAIR YOU’D BE COMPLETELY RIGHT. I love to make fun of Kaneki when he does his edgy bitch thing because that’s what he is. A basic edgy bitch who is just,,, such a main character. But like. He does actually have his reasons despite popular opinion and to be honest I think they’re a bit more valid than in the manga, where he’s just like “well I’ve been tortured, that was not pleasant and i kinda did a bad thing, let’s go back to anteiku but i’m just gonna Try Harder To Fight this time”. I can understand that, but like, it seems like in the manga every Character Development of kaneki is some form of “i will now be stronger” except for the singular “I will now be a different person” which, well, we’ll get to that. 

In the anime though, even if it seems like more of a basic edgy bitch move, it’s like?? It makes perfect sense to me, and to be honest more than the manga does? Obviously he doesn’t wanna be best bros with Aogiri, he realizes they’re all bad people who have done really terrible things, but the fact is he now sees himself as the same thing, he now understands their motives because in his mind he is also now Bad TM. His whole character development of being tortured was that peace wasn’t an option no matter how much he wanted it, he couldn’t live being a pacifist and the world was forcing him to give the “i am the only one that understands! we need to stop fighting!” bullshit up because there was no way to achieve it. He realized if he kept himself the way he was more people he loved would be hurt like they already had because he couldn’t, so he doesn’t just Decide To Become Stronger, he gives up his humanity. And that includes basically letting himself defend his own actions and try to do “the right thing”. 

Him then joining aogiri makes sense because well. They’re the people who are the strongest, who have the power, who are the same as he sees himself. He still wants to protect the people he loves, he just also realizes he can’t do it by working with them since he now understands that their more peaceful ways will by definition get them fucking killed. His understanding is flawed, of course. He’s not really right. But this is his understanding and from that it makes perfect sense for him to join up with aogiri and try to still do as much as possible from that standpoint, realizing that most likely the people he’s trying to protect will hate him for it. I think that makes sense to me, what do you not understand about it? (I also understand that may make some people mad because he’d Doing Bad Things but I point to you he’s so soft, remember when he was really nice to naki when he was literally the one who killed the guy naki was crying about? remember when he was doing a raid and he saw that guy hiding and he never mentioned it? remember like the seventy times he Cried TM, yeah he’s problematic obviously but if you want problematic I’ll point you to a certain fucking black reaper. Shironeki has nothing on that asshole.)

I think what Kaneki did in the manga was fine, but in general the anime (again) had more depth of understanding and emotion versus a steady Try Harder Get Stronger shonen deal, which, well, fair, but like, nah. Continuing why I think the anime dealt it better is the ending of A, which was a lot more well rounded then *kaneki gets stabbed and then there’s a lot of random plot shit going on in the background*. Here Kaneki then got to round out the end of his character development by realizing slowly through the second half of this season, him becoming a kakuja and then basically deciding like, not to

((kakuja kaneki was dealt with again different in the anime and manga because he basically stopped trying to use it in the anime bc he realized it was a bad fucking idea but this goes along with the ‘his character development of “i’m gonna do bad things for good reasons” --> “actually no wait that was a bad idea” was actually done in root A instead of being dragged out into :re and it’s appropriate for its own medium and the messages it’s trying to get across so manga loyalists hate it’ but we digress))

So in root A we got to see him actually develop and realize himself through the second half of the season starting with cochlea, his interactions with Amon, and ultimately through Hide, that he’d been doing the wrong thing by becoming more monstrous/fighting harder because what he did was ended up forgetting the most important thing, *smiles in gay* HIDE.(well, his humanity. yeah. i cite the terrible opening for root A with the fun ‘the hands taking off kaneki’s mask are hide’s’ bit.) He then remembered again why he wanted so bad to stop the war between humans and ghouls, he wanted to be able to live in peace and not have to be a monster- something that was not dealt with in the manga (though for understandable reasons of We Need To Fuck With Him In Re More, they then didn’t deliver on creating something like that later so I take this.)

That’s most of the difference between the original manga and anime, but I’d also like to discuss (briefly, I’ve already yelled about them) the ridiculous amount of hurdles ishida went through to fuck with kaneki in the manga, Of course there is the fact that well, the slower transition of his character does make some more sense for the manga because if you take :re into consideration, his eight billion character changes are more tolerable when they haven’t like, already happened before in the manga (just the anime). It makes more sense there for Haise to be tormented by past kaneki telling him He’s Too Weak because in the manga he hasn’t already had that development prior to “dying”, and he lost his memories still believing he had to be strong even if he did bad things, whereas in the anime it doesn’t track because at the end like i just said he kind of gives up his ghoulhood on purpose because he realizes that joining aogiri and fighting and shit was really wrong because, hide. So I can see why those character decisions were not made in the original when planning for :re, but... the fact remains that those previous decisions do not make up for how absolutely weak :re’s game ended up being with kaneki. 

So tldr this entire section, All the manga’s defense of how they handled Kaneki’s development is basically void because all those choices were buildup for development in :re which ishida then COMPLETELY fell down on. So the alternative is better.

And now comes my yelling about how exactly Ishida fucked it up: hair colors and kaneki’s 80 kanekis. If black is supposed to represent sane and white is supposed to represent insane or, whatever, i dunno, who tf thought black reaper kaneki was sane? Who tf would think kaneki in the end isn’t? I haven’t looked into this really, and I’d really love it if someone explained it to me the way ishida was going for bc I do not understand it. Like that tracks with Juuzou, and with Kaneki up to Haise Original, but they don’t really make a cohesive sense seeing as after Haise’s hair color changed again that whole deal kind of goes to shit. Not to mention... I just... they completely failed to make those character changes actually part of the story, I’m mostly complaining about black reaper haise, none of him makes any sense. What’s his deal? He wants to protect who he loves? Tracks with the ghouls but fun fact he abandoned his kids? He actually cared for them? What then, he wants to be the strongest as possible? Sure but then?? Why?? I don’t understand his motives at all.

We also didn’t get to see him get his memories back either, which I was actually very much looking forward to, it just,,, like all of a sudden he’s talking with eto about yoshimura and i’m like bruh when tf did that happen? It’s bad, and although chapter 74-76 is super valid, and his change back into white hair kaneki makes sense, I also have the complaint about how haise basically disappeared just like he was worried he would. I think that was bad and I’ve said that already, it doesn’t make sense, he just literally throws those entire two years away to go back to the way he was before he was with the CCG and just forgets everything he’s wanted for the last few years? Fiction logic test fucking failed, and you’ve also broken my heart. Love Haise. You got rid of him. I love kaneki too but like. Why don’t they just. Like. Merge. He is one whole complex person, not one and an imposter, god. 

This is a big negative for re and the manga, so automatically a positive for root A where I simply Do Not Have To Deal With That Bullshit and the character development actually makes sense. I can understand the decisions in the original manga could have set up for good development in :re, but they completely failed to deliver.

root a didn’t fast forward to re at the end god damn let us process this shit first before you try to connect it to something else: The thing with this point is that it’s really difficult to separate the original manga from the continuing story in :re because the thing intertwines so much and immediately moves us forward with a ton of plot points for the next part of the story before we’re done with this climax and the end of this story. Sometimes that’s ok and I can see doing that from an author’s perspective because you want people to continue reading your story instead of taking that as the end but it’s really annoying on a reader’s end, because I’m picky and I want to be able to just be able to enjoy my original canon without it like, metaphorically touching :re on a plate. It’s something that I don’t even do with my own longer stories, like for example I have like a trilogy of >100k fics that like, well i’m technically not done with them but like. 

People really like the first one because it’s more focused on a more popular ship and basic elements people like about the thing, and then by the second book it moves on to talk more about the plot and lore and brings in more secondary characters. And so I knew that a lot of the readers of the first one wouldn’t want to have to deal with a lot of the “oh well stuff is happening elsewhere that will effect stuff later!!!” random plot shit that none of my readers actually cared about. So I kept it to wrapping up the points of the first book and then leaving the introduction of new characters and plot for the people who actually wanted to read it. Ishida didn’t do that, and of course it’s within his right to like?? Want to promote the next series but I’d have enjoyed it more if we ended it at kaneki’s “death” and wrapping up the deals with the rest of the characters instead of quickly shoving in the beginning of seventy more plotlines before the book ends. Like honey I simply do not have the reading comprehension for that. In the anime we get something that... makes sense.

In the anime, however, it’s quite the opposite, for example the reveals like Eto=owl=takatsuki sen were pushed before that and they saved episode twelve for, well, the end bit. Like what was actually the ending. There were detriments to this I had to say (LIKE GUYS I GET IT HE’S CARRYING HIDE HE’S CARRYING HIM I GET IT YOU’VE BEEN DOING IT FOR HALF THE EPISODE NOW OK I UNDERSTAND CAN WE MOVE ON) But like, I prefer the concept of a simple idea with as much emotion squeezed out of it as possible to a ton of confusing and contradicting ideas that are touched on for a second before moving on. So the *cries for half an hour* ending was much more appealing to me, and I can keep that separate in my head from any of the ideas that :re creates, letting me pretend it doesnt exist and imagine that’s the end and there’s nothing else to worry about. If we want to move forward and hear more, then we can, but it isn’t necessary like it is with the manga.

No Bad Takes that are hard to pry apart from good plot and characters:This is basically the downsides of the new characters, which is well, if I had to make a whole ~keep reading~ post about how problematic everything in re was that does have to count as a downside. I love the new characters, but they also come intertwined with a thousand really bad takes on like, everything, and of course I can ignore it and just act as though they were written in like, to be perfectly honest, a non transphobic way, it’s a real downside when the original anime was pretty pain-free in the way of their takes on their characters. They fucked everyone up in re and I will not elaborate, we’ve talked about this, it’s just the anime, and which i mean season 1 and root A, don’t really have any bad takes I need to try to get rid of, it’s surprisingly something I have little complaint about at all and I ALWAYS have complaints.

Hide!!!!: Obviously, you can tell that a lot of my opinions are going to be hide based because he’s the only thing I ever think about. But we have to take into account just how... hide???? This goes a lot into the depth of emotion bit but it also offers the other side of the argument for Hide’s part in the :re manga, which well. Was mostly chapter 75 if we’re going to be perfectly honest here. He doesn’t get any other limelight. Even in the chapter where Kaneki meets him again he gets a whole what, three pages? In the manga, he has an extremely valid deal about basically, living, keeping going no matter what, and that is a fitting part for the manga, considering the rest of the points there ride more on Keep Fighting instead of Think About Your Emotions And Morals, but honestly chapter 75 was really valid. So why do I still think the anime’s version where he like (ok I don’t know about the re anime we’ve discussed this, i don’t even know how they choose to explain that) he like, dies in kaneki’s arms is better overall? Again, I would have totally accepted that deal if it was made a part of the story because it made me cry, it was super valid, and if they’d continued in that way I would have agreed with it completely over that. But the fact is again that they failed to deliver, and Hide got largely ignored, suffered so much with so little outcome. There was so much buildup and it was incredibly valid, but when the time came for them to meet again and basically show... why it was important that Hide lived in the end? 

They didn’t. They straight up didn’t. Kaneki’s like “oh sorry bro... glad you’re alive and all...” *goes off and fights* and like? Honestly? @everlastingspiral is right, if that’s all they’re gonna do with him what’s the point of keeping him alive? I love every single panel of him and I wouldn’t have read re if he didn’t, but hide gets absolutely NO payoff. For letting kaneki literally vore his entire mouth off, leaving him disfigured and unable to talk, then kind of disappearing for two years and doing seemingly nothing but trying to help kaneki even though he’d forgotten the guy existed, risks his life like a thousand fucking times, eventually gets back to him and the dude’s running a fucking anti-human organization, helps him like Not Be A Volitile Pile Of Flesh Anymore and then what should have been a very important moment of them meeting again gets completely overshadowed by touka and random plot shit and more fights and they barely interact, they don’t even hug or anything, they barely talk, and at the end hide is still there but to be honest he’s gotten absolutely no thanks for all he did and ishida acts at the end as though he’s done very well with hide and gives him a tiny bit at the end throwing in a tragic backstory for fun (which hot take he really didn’t fucking need on top of it all) and... there’s no real hint that Kaneki is better off with Hide there, even though there should be. In 75, in his dream, kaneki is sobbing and crying and all like i’m so lonely without you but when they actually meet each other again? “yo” “hey” “uh sorry about,,, the thing,,, you know” “nah man it’s ok” “let me talk about myself for a bit” “yes you always do do you want to hear what I’ve been up to” “not really” “that’s fine i’m only here to support you”

...So you can understand why I’ve gone a bit sour on that. If that’s all you’re going to give him? Hot take? Let him die. Hide deserves better. (and i will deliver that in writing, but for the purposes of canon.)

In the anime, however (not counting re again... although he still gets the short end of the stick just in the original manga too compared to the anime) he’s properly dealt with! he gets his proper limelight and he gets acknowledged for what he’s done thusfar in the story, which is already so much. Kaneki then realizes that, but it’s already too late (or it isn’t, and they like negotiate with the ccg and then they get to live happily ever after) either way he gets appreciated and he gets hurt, but it’s properly acknowledged. And after all that, after saving kaneki and getting him to the cafe and doing it all while bleeding the fuck out, he gets to spend that time with kaneki and die in kaneki’s arms. And frankly? That’s all I think he’s ever needed. It’s really poetic and pretty and brings kaneki’s character around full circle, and even if it’s overly sappy, cliche, drawn out... he gets the attention he’s due and he gets a fucking break. He wanted to show Kaneki he wanted to do something for him and save him instead of the other way around, but then HE GOT ACKNOWLEDGED FOR THAT, instead of just well, tirelessly working towards it forever and having to be content to be a background character with practically no value to Kaneki anymore.

Keeps The Same Vibe: The big thing about this is that with the manga and with re, shit just goes all over the place, and I feel like I’ve amply showed that already through this essay or whatever this is. Again about the consistency and the professionalism, It’s a concise story that makes more sense than the manga while also being simply neater and more deep, making sure all the points, themes and messages work together and make sense to create a cohesive deal even if it’s not as long. (the manga is like ishida had a TON of good ideas for an essay but then fleshed out the thing ten minutes before deadline and managed to completely lose what his original thesis was even if the thing was 10 pages long.) Basically. yeah. That kind of sums it up, my last point concerns the ending.

Not Cheap Ending: If you want to hear my take about how absolutely terrible re’s ending was, check out my The Many Sins Of Tokyo Ghoul :Re post, and we’ve discussed how the original’s manga ending was bad and well not really an ending, it just leaves you unfulfilled and takes you into “well I guess I have to start a whole nother sequel series ig...” but root A like? Actually ends it? If a reader didn’t know that there was any content after that, they could pretty much infer that hide’s death or almost death whatever you inferred out of that ending (again we’re ignoring re) allowed Kaneki to finish his character development and realize they needed to stop the war, which basically tracks with what’s going on in everyone else’s perspective- eto’s problem with the world because of what happened with everything, is basically like, all of aogiri, juuzou and shinohara, amon and akira and kaneki and they can realize all they have to do is just sit down and fucking stop it because none of them want to be fighting, hide is the catalyst for that because the CCG can see how Kaneki cares for him? And it’s so open ended that you could just like literally believe that and there’d be no way for that canon to tell you otherwise, or you could go onto re and whatever if you wanted to. I think that’s the best thing. 

In conclusion, both have valid points, and in general I’d say that the manga goes better with :re and the anime is better as a stand alone but if I had to choose overall, this particular anime is better (taking into account only seasons 1 and 2), for mostly the reasons of favoring a simpler story taken with much more care and depth versus a more complex story with many, MANY imperfect elements, and I am aware I will get shot on sight for this opinion. So sue me.

[secretly-tword-obsessed]

Save The Queen

Ok, so I said I’d post this later but I just couldn’t resist!

Prompted by @randomtickleewriterstudent 

Summary: Burr helps Hamilton play his chess game, in a very unexpected way...

It was a rainy Thursday afternoon in Manhattan, New York.

Alexander Hamilton stood outside President George Washington’s office, a stack of papers in hand. He knocked on the thin door twice, causing the room to rumble softly.

“Come in”, came the voice of George Washington. Hamilton obeyed, stepping inside to find Washington with a quill in his hand, writing some sort of letter.

“I have the papers”, Alexander said, making the other man look up. Washington smiled softly at the sight of one of his hardest and most loyal workers.

“Thank you Hamilton”, he said, “Put them on my desk”.

Hamilton nodded and walked by Washington’s desk, placing the papers down. As he did so, he accidentally knocked over Washington’s jar of ink, causing ink to spill all over the letter Washington was writing, ruining it.

Hamilton gasped: “I’m so sorry!”.

Washington just shook his head and looked up at him, “Don’t be, son. We all make mistakes”. 

Yet Hamilton could tell that Washington was a little irritated. 

“I could, erm, rewrite that letter for you if you want”, Hamilton offered.

“That would be nice”, Washington responded.

And so Hamilton sat at the presidents desk, writing out on a new sheet of parchment the words that came out of Washington’s mouth. 

Once he was done, he dropped the quill, his hands a little red from witting so fast. Of course, Hamilton was used to this, but that didn’t make it any less annoying. Washington noticed Hamilton’s red hand.

“Sorry, did I go to fast?”.

“No”, Hamilton responded.

George Washington thought for a moment. “You seem worked out Hamilton, would you like to take a break with me?”.

Hamilton’s face lit up, “I would love to, sir”.

Hamilton really was feeling worked out, from both the essays he placed on the president’s desk and the letter that he just wrote for him. He didn’t often take breaks, but he couldn’t say no to the president of the United States. And it was fun spending time with Washington, he was a smart man and had lots of insights to give, in one game in particular...

“Chess!” both men said at once.

They stared at each other for a few seconds, and than burst out laughing. Washington was a very good chess player, and liked giving Hamilton new techniques and strategies to follow. Of course, for every time he played Washington, the better he got himself.

They both walked over to Washington’s couch’s and set up the board on his coffee table, each man on either side of it. They didn’t even have to ask each other about what colour to play; Washington always played as black and Hamilton always played as white.

“Would you like me to give you tips as we play?”, Washington asked.

“No”, Hamilton replied, “I’m feeling competitive today”.

Just than, there was another knock at the door, making the room quietly rumble.

“Come in”, Washington called.

In stepped a short man: Aaron Burr. 

“Sir, may we have a discussion?”, Burr asked.

“Maybe later”, Washington responded.

Burr was about to walk out, when Hamilton said, “I have an idea! How about winner plays Burr!”.

Burr raised an eyebrow in confusion, before walking over to see the chess board on the table between the two men. Understanding, he nodded.

“Do you play chess?”, Washington asked.

Burr smiled, a common habit of his, “Yes, and I am quite good if I do say so myself”. Burr shook his head and added, “Sir”.

Washington chuckled, “You don’t have to call me that. For now”.

He patted a seat next to himself on the couch for Burr to take.

And so, the game began. Alexander advanced his pawn, to which Washington responded with a knight. Alexander took another pawn out to threaten that knight, and Washington advanced his knight further to the centre. 

A few moves later, and Washington was already dominating the game. Snatching pieces, threatening pieces and taking control over most of the board. 

Hamilton cursed under his breath every time another valuable piece was taken, wishing that he had accepted the other man’s guidance.

Burr seemed to be very interested in the game, observing the board and calculating many possible moves for each player and their outcomes in his head. He noticed Hamilton make a very stupid mistake with his queen, and had to try hard not to make a noise as to spoil the game.

Just than, Washington stood up, “Do you guys need a drink?”. The other two shook their heads. “Well than, if you’d excuse me, I’m just going to get some water for myself, be right back”. And with that, the president left the room.

Alexander and Burr sat in silence for a few moments, before Burr muttered: “Your in trouble”.

“What?”, Alexander asked.

“Oh, I mean, Washington will destroy you when you get back”.

Hamilton tilted his head, “Why?”.

Burr snickered, “Look at your queen Alexander”.

Hamilton looked at the board. “What? I don’t see anyth- OH SHIT.”

Burr chuckled to himself, “Yeah, that is a bit of a problem isn’t it”.

The problem they were talking about: Washington’s pawn was just diagonal from Hamilton’s queen, and he would surely take it on the next move. Crap, why didn’t he see that?

“Of course”, Burr said at a clearly frustrated Alexander, “You could cheat”.

“What?”

“I said, you could cheat. Quickly, move your queen before Washington gets back, hopefully he won’t notice anything”.

Hamilton raised an eyebrow, he rarely saw this side of Burr. Burr never cheated, at life or in a game. Yet Hamilton was ready to obey, as it could have been his only chance of winning the game. He did as Burr suggested, and moved his queen one space down. 

A few moments later, Washington returned with a small glass of iced water in his hands.

“Now, where were we?”, he said, resuming his position on the couch. As soon as he glanced at the board before him, a smile spread across his face.

“Hamilton?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Did you move your queen when I was gone?”.

Crap. 

“No”, Hamilton lied, fumbling with the buttons on his coat.

“Are you sure?”, Washington asked him, raising an eyebrow, a wide grin on his face.

“Yes”, Hamilton responded, tying to keep eye contact with the man as his knees wobbled.

“Come’ere son!”, Washington chuckled, walking to the other side of the board and sitting down on Hamilton’s couch, wrapping an arm around the man’s shoulder. Hamilton squeaked.

“Now what if I told you”, Washington explained, “That this was all a test?”.

Hamilton’s eyes widened, his jaw dropping open. Washington chuckled at the look on the mans face, and Burr also couldn’t help letting out a humph of amusement. Hamilton shot Burr an ice-cutting look, to which he just responded with a finger to his lips, as if to say: ‘Don’t tell him I suggested it’.

“Now”, Washington said, “Since I know that your a cheater, it’s about time I give you your next lesson”.

With that, the president pounced on him, leaving him laid back on the couch.

“Never cheat at chess”, Washington said down at him, “Because there are consequences”.

Hamilton gulped,”What kind of consequences sir?”.

“Well, glad you asked”, Washington said, a smug smirk glued to his face; “You see, the other day, I went in to check on you at your house, and I saw something very interesting through your window. You were play fighting with your friend John Laurens, is that correct?”.

Hamilton’s eyes widened once again, “Uh, umm....”

“Oh, my eyes never deceive me son. But you know, you have always seemed to me like the ticklish type”.

“Wait-sir-NO!”, Hamilton cried, but it was too late, Washington had started clawing his quick fingers up and down his ribs.

“No what?”, Washington asked, not slowing his attack.

Hamilton tossed his head back in hysterical laughter, trying to squirm away to no avail.

“Whats wrong son, are you a little ticklish?”, Washington teased, making his hands towards the other man’s belly, scratching and teasing at the thin cloth of his shirt. 

Burr watched the whole thing from the other couch, with a smile on his face.

Hamilton thrashed and squirmed.

“BUHUHHHUHUHUHUHURRR HEHEHEHEHELP MEHEHEHEHEHE!”, he begged, squealing as Washington swirled his pointer finger into his belly-button.

Burr just chuckled, “Washington was right, there are consequences for cheating you know”.

Oh, the irony.

“SIHIHHIHIR, WAHAHAHAHASHINGTON, PLEHEHEHEHEHASE!!!”.

“Please what?”, Washington asked, “What is it Hamilton, do you want more tickles?”.

“NOHOHHOHO!”, he cried, “NOHOHOHO MOHOHOHORE THIHIHIHHIHIHNGS!!!!”.

“Things?” Washington questioned, “Can you not say ‘tickle’ Hamilton?”.

Hamilton turned crimson, squirming around and kicking lightly in his laughter. 

Washington tried out the mans neck, which was exposed from him tossing his head back in laughter. He shrieked and pinned it down to his chest.

“NOHOHOHHOHO WHYHYHHYHYHY?!?”

“Why? Because you cheated, thats why Hamilton. And you thought I wouldn’t even notice”, Washington teased.

This was torture, just torture. Yet of course, Alexander didn’t exactly hate it. 

Ok, he loved it.

But why would he not? He was playing with Washington like a little kid after a long day at school. And the feeling of just laughing freely was...lifting. Like the worlds problems vanished for those moments, and he was just having fun with a friend.

But that still didn’t stop the man from begging and squirming.

“Wait, stop”, Burr said to Washington, making him halt his attack. A huge smile spread across the shorter’s face: “I have an idea”.

“Wait, Bur, don’t you dare!”, Alexander threatened, as the other approached him and Washington.

Burr’s eyes flashed, “Don’t I dare what Alexander? This?”.

“No! Wait-”, Burr started squeezing the sides of Hamilton’s stomach with both hands, which he knew Hamilton couldn’t stand.

“NOHOHHO HEHEHEHEEHELP AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”, he cried, his laughter ticking up a pitch. 

Washington smiled down at the scene before him, “Oh, your in trouble now son”. He went back to Ham’s neck.

“YOHOHOHOHOHOUR NOHOHOHHOHOT MYHYHYHYHY DAHAHAHAHAHAD!”, Hamilton laughed, the sensations almost unbearable.

“And you, son, are not a fair chess player”, Washington responded teasingly, watching as the man completely lost his mind under the attacks.

“I was right Hamilton, Washington would destroy you when you got back!”, Burr slipped out.

Washington stopped his fingers and looked up at Burr. Burr, realising his mistake, cupped a hand over his mouth.

“What was that Burr?”, Washington asked.

“N-nothing”.

“Did you warn Hamilton about the queen?”.

“N-no”

“Did you suggest that he cheat?”

“N-no”

“Are you ticklish?”.

Washington stepped over to Burr’s side of the couch.

“N-no”.

Hamilton chuckled, sitting up, “Nothing he just said was true, sir”.

“Hamilton!”, Burr exclaimed, feeling betrayed. Hamilton just shrugged.

“You shouldn’t have done that Burr, attacked when I warned you not to”.

“And”, Washington added, “There is a punishment for assisting in cheating too”.

And soon, Burr was trapped on the couch, letting out streams of giggly laughter.

It was a rainy Thursday afternoon in Manhattan, New York. And a very playful one to!

Oh my dog I’m blushing so hard right now just from writing this! Hope you enjoyed, and my back in a little hungry so please give some feedback!

[bowsie22]

Pingxie Week 2021 Day 2

Summary: For a city with such a high rate of criminal activity, Wu Xie has always been safe. Now if only he could figure out why? Photography student Wu Xie/Triad leader Xiaoge

It was weird. Despite being open for eight months, Wushanju had never been robbed. The stores around it had all been robbed multiple times in that period. He’d never been attacked on the street, despite multiple robberies happening every day. Pangzi put it down to Wu Xie’s stupid luck, but Wu Xie thought it was weird. Anytime he was cornered, or a Triad member came into the shop for their protection money, there was always a moment. A moment where the men would stare at him like they knew him from somewhere and they’d run. Literally run from him like bats out of hell. It made no sense. And he knew it was a weird thing to be upset by, but he was.

Which led to now. Wu Xie, in a moment of stupidity, decided to go into the city at night to complete one of his final projects for a photography class. Sure, he had his own store/gallery/studio, but that was more due to his uncles making sure he could look after himself. And to a lesser extent, Pangzi. But he still had to finish college, no matter what Sanxing said. And after taking his two-year break, possibly due to an emotional and mental breakdown after the disappearance of the love of his life, Wu Xie was more determined than ever to ace his courses and make his uncles proud. And again, to a lesser extent, Pangzi.

Hence the moment of stupidity. While the city was beautiful at night, it was also dangerous. Especially for someone was still trying to get himself back to full health after the aforementioned disappearance. Not that Wu Xie couldn’t defend himself. He had learned something from Heiye and Pangzi.

So, he wasn’t too nervous about being followed by the two men creeping behind him. Honestly, they weren’t subtle. He wasn’t surprised by the bruising grip on his wrist, as the men pulled him into an alleyway, slamming him against the wall. Wu Xie groaned as his head bounced off the wall, attacker one holding him against the wall, attacker two standing in the mouth of the alleyway, cutting off any escape attempt.

“Ok, suppose my luck had to run out sooner or later.”

Pangzi always said that his sarcasm would hurt him. Never mentioned a mugger slapping him around the face though. Spitting out the blood, Wu Xie realised a second too late that he should have aimed away from the expensive looking shoes.

“You little bitch.”

A punch to the gut had Wu Xie gasping for air, the one to the back of his head had him on the ground and the following kicks to his stomach and chest had him spitting up more blood. Typical. The first time he gets robbed and he’s going to get murdered too. Attacker one grabbed his hair, forcing Wu Xie to his knees. That was a knife against his throat. Oh God, he was really going to die here.

“Whatever you’re doing, make it quick. Traffic is starting to pick up.”

At those words, a car drove past, Wu Xie wincing as the lights shone in his eyes.

“Shit!”

He was thrown to the ground, the two men backing away from him. Looking up, Wu Xie could make out the scales tattooed on their necks meaning that they were from the Zhang Clan. Shit, why were the Triad attacking him, he thought robbery was a bit beneath them? More concerning, why weren’t they doing anything anymore? The two were staring at him, wide eyed and pale. Wait a minute, why were they scared? They were the ones who attacked him!

“Shit, it’s him. We’re not meant to touch him. He’s going to kill us!”

“No, he’s going to torture us and kill us in the most painful way possible. The top of the list. The one person in this city, this country that you are not meant to touch and you chose him!”

“We were behind him! It’s not like we were given a picture of his ass! Look, don’t worry I know what to do.”

Wu Xie had a head injury. That was the only explanation for attacker one to slip a business card into his pocket and beg him to visit their boss and explain that this was all just some terrible mistake. What kind of self-respecting Triad member did that? Reaching for his phone, Wu Xie decided that it would be a tomorrow problem. Right now, he needed to contact Pangzi and make sure neither uncle heard about this.

“Are you serious? No!”

Pangzi swiped the card from his friend’s hand, glaring at the younger man.

“Like hell you are walking into a Triad building. To do what? Speak to the boss, demand reparations of some kind?”

“Of course not Pangzi. I just want to know what happened last night.”

“You didn’t hit your head that hard Tianzhen. You got attacked last night and had to be treated for bruised ribs, a sprained wrist and get stitches on that head wound.”

“I know all that. I meant after that.”

“After that you were concussed and probably imagining things!”

“So, I imagined that business card into reality?”

Groaning, Pangzi dropped the card in front of Wu Xie, recognising the stubborn pout on Wu Xie’s lips.

“There’s nothing I can say is there?”

“You can say that you’ll drive me there and wait outside like a good friend.”

“Damnit Wu Xie.”

Wu Xie was used to people staring at him. He was emotional, loud and the nephew to two of the wealthiest people in the city. But something was different about this. Normally people looked down at him, the rich boy who used his uncle’s money to open his own shop/studio. Or he was looked at like something to be used. Get into the Wu heir’s good books and you have an in with the brothers.

Here though, people looked afraid of him. Steeling himself, Wu Xie stepped away from the entrance, heading for the receptionist. Taking the card out of his pocket, Wu Xie pasted his biggest, friendliest smile on his lips and waited for the young man to hang up the phone. Considering he worked for the Triad, the man looked fairly unthreatening. Long hair, glasses, nice jaw bone, Wu Xie supposed he was attractive, if not a bit twinky. Hanging up, the man smiled nervously at him.

“Hello sir. The boss will see you now.”

“What?”

“Kan Jian here will show to you to the head office.”

Wu Xie was so distracted by the man’s blazer with the sleeves ripped off that he was standing in an elevator before he knew what was happening.

“I’m sorry, what the hell is going on?”

“Don’t worry sir, the boss will explain it all. Just two more floors aaaannd here we are!”

The elevator doors opened onto an office that even his uncle Erbai would be jealous of. A wall of windows looked over the city, there was a fully stocked bar against one wall, a couch beside it, while a large TV took up the majority of the wall opposite. Directly across from the elevator doors stood a large, wooden desk, mahogany if Wu Xie were to guess, these desks usually were. More importantly behind that desk sat the boss, the head of the Triad. And Wu Xie’s waste of an ex who had abandoned him two years ago.

“Xiaoge?”

His ex-boyfriend was the head of the Triad. And still, Wu Xie was annoyed to say, stupidly handsome, especially in an all-black three-piece suit. Wu Xie had always been weak for a man in suits, especially when it was Xiaoge.

“It always felt like you were hiding something from me. Never would have guessed this though.”

Accepting the drink from the other man, Wu Xie tried to ignore the eyes running over his body and the frown on Xiaoge’s face.

“Wait! You’re why I’ve never been robbed or attacked. Until now at least. Why?”

Xiaoge settled onto the couch beside the younger man, an odd look on his face. Wu Xie knew Xiaoge, knew that he always needed a minute or two to think over his words.

“It was the only way I could keep you safe. I always knew I’d have to take over. Zhang Rishan gave me a few years to be normal. I wasn’t expecting to meet you and fall in love. When I took over, I sent out a picture of you and informed everyone that touching you meant instant death. Clearly, not everyone understood.”

“This is why you had to leave, isn’t it?”

 “This life isn’t safe. If I involved you, you’d be in danger. I had to keep you safe Wu Xie. You were and still are the most important person to me. If you got hurt because of me, I don’t know what I’d do.”

“Wasn’t that my decision to make!? Xiaoge, I was a mess after you left. I didn’t eat, I didn’t look after myself, I dropped out of university! You leaving ruined me. And now you tell me it was to protect me and you did it because you love me so much? What am I meant to say to that?”

“Tell me what to do. Wu Xie, please. I’ll do anything to make it up to you if you’ll let me.”

Wu Xie looked at his ex, mind racing. He knew what Xiaoge was expecting. That Wu Xie would give him some impossible task. But damnit, Wu Xie loved him. The last two years had been the most difficult of his life. Wu Xie had spent the entire time feeling like something was missing, searching for Xiaoge in every crowd, dreaming about him every night. Even just being in the same room as the other man made him feel better.

“Dinner. At the fanciest restaurant in town, tonight.”

Xiaoge looked at him, a small smile on his face, the one Pangzi always used to call his Wu Xie smile.

“Dinner, that’s it?”

“That’s it. And a very long, overdue conversation.”

“I can do that.”

“Good, see you tonight Xiaoge.”

Wu Xie turned to the elevator, making sure to add extra sway to his hips, aware that the older man was watching him. When the elevator doors closed behind him, Wu Xie realised that Pangzi was going to kill him for this.

Eh, worth it.

[fantasiesandbooks]

Hello can I request a royal Christmas scenario with Chanyeol wherein you're a princess while he is a knight in your palace and he is in love with you and then he gave you a gift on Christmas to confess. Thank you and hope you will write for me. Advance Merry Christmas

Hello reader! I hope you have had a good Christmas. Hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think of it. Happy New Year and stay safe :) 

Chanyeol x Reader

Genre: Angst. Romance.

Word Count: 3.6k

The ballroom was crowded with all kinds of people. There were commoners, the people from the palace and some guests that have arrived to greet your father. The weather was cold, the wind carrying little snowflakes and snow painting the landscape. Nevertheless, everyone was enjoying the warmth of the atmosphere inside just as every year.

“Are you enjoying the celebration Your Highness?” You asked your father.

“Very much, Princess” He smiled at you. “You always manage to come up with a better party every year”.

“I’m glad you think that, father” You said pleased.

You two were looking around the room. People chatting and eating while some others were dancing. Kids running around between the guests.

“Where is mother?” You asked him.

“She was looking for Lucious” He said “The princes had already arrived and she wants everything to be perfect for your dance”. You groaned at the last part.

“Do I must dance with them?” You asked him annoyed “Prince Nicholas can’t take two steps without stomping on my foot”. The King laughed at that “It will be for a brief moment.” 

“One that my feet don’t appreciate” You said.

“It’s a tradition. You must dance with every prince here” Your father told you.

“Maybe it’s time to change it” You muttered.

“I heard that” The King lifted an eyebrow at you.

“Father...” You whined “As much as I enjoy dancing, I do not enjoy having to socialize with every men from the royalty”. 

You came closer to him so no one could hear you “Some are dull and boring. Others gloat over their social status, which let me tell you, I couldn’t care less about it”.

“I sorry Y/n but we have to bear all those things in order to have good relationships with their countries”. Her father said. “Some day you maybe you will wed one of them”.

You snorted. “I’ll rather not to marry at all”. Your father looked at you annoyed at your stubbornness.

“Say what you want child. You will end up married, either you like it or not”. The King said in all seriousness.

“Father, I respect you and mother but if you think I will accept someone only to keep politics at bay then...” You whispered angrily.

In that moment, a tall figure you could recognize everywhere stood up in front of you and your father.

“Ah Captain!” Your father interrupted you once he caught sight of Chanyeol. You turned to look at the man and tried to calm yourself down.

“Your Highness” He said. “Princess” He gazed at you and bowed his head a little bit as a way of greeting you both.

“Is everything alright?” Your father asked him.

“Yes My Lord. None of the guards had reported anything out of the ordinary” The tall man answered.

“Very well then”. Your father said. “You should stay and enjoy the party. I’m sure the guards on duty can handle the rest of the evening” He said.

“Thank your Highness” Chanyeol said politely.

“Now I’m going to look for the Queen” Your father announced. “Watch the Princess doesn’t get lost. Her dance is coming next”.

You looked at him in disbelief. 

“I can’t believe this” You scoffed “I don’t need someone to guard me”.

“Yes you do” Your father said “Now be prepared for the next song”. He turned around and started walking. 

“He’s just so... Ahg” You said annoyed.

“What did you do this time?” Chanyeol asked you.

The Captain and you were friends since you were little kids. There hasn’t been a moment in your life where Chanyeol wasn’t a part of it.

Everyone in the castle knew about your friendship, including your parents. But that didn’t mean you two could drop the formalities in front of them. Only in the moments when you were not the center of attention or when you find yourselves without company, Chanyeol and you could speak to one another with the closeness that both have built over the years.

“Nothing!” You said. “Why do you always assumed in the one who starts it?”.

Chanyeol lifted an eyebrow. “Because you have the peculiar gift of making your father angry in less than 5 minutes”.

You scoffed. “If his wasn’t so close-minded he would realize that I am right”.

A maid that was walking with a tray full of drinks offered you some and you took two glasses. “Here” You said and handed him one as you took a sip from yours.

“I can’t drink.” Chanyeol said. “I’m on duty”.

“I remember my father told you to enjoy the party”. You pointed out. “This is a way of enjoying it”.

Chanyeol rolled his eyes at you and took a sip from the glass.

“I told him I didn’t want to dance with the princes tonight” You were looking around the room.

“But you always do that”. Chanyeol stated.

“And I’m fed up with it” You explained and took another sip.

“It’s etiquette” The tall man said.

“He said it was a way of keeping good relationships with them”. You mimicked you father

“But the thing that got me angry the most was that he mentioned maybe I would have to marry one of them eventually”.

Chanyeol choked at the mention of it. He started coughing violently. You looked at him concerned and felt the stare from the people around you.

“Do you want me to fetch you a glass of water?” You asked him. He shook his head in response as he calm down.

“I’m ok” He said with crooked voice. You nodded.

“What did you mean with maybe you will have to marry one of them?” Chanyeol said inquisitively.

“You know. They are princes, I’m a princess” You said almost bitterly. “Royalty always seeks powerful alliances. And some likes to give their people a good show of a perfect and happy King and Queen”.

“But I don’t think you father will force you to get married” Chanyeol said.

“He hasn’t said it directly to me but I know he’s concerned that I’m getting older and I haven’t had a potential suitor”. You explained.

“What are you talking about? You have had plenty of them and you always end up rejecting them”. The black haired man said.

“Yes, because I don’t love them” You told him. “I don’t want to live a life where I have to pretend to love my husband. I want to feel excited every he would look at me. I want to blush at the compliments he would give me, I want to feel... happy” Your voice quiet down when yours and his stare met.

His face was more serious than usual. On a regular occasion he would mock about your views on love. He would said you have read too many books about perfect non-existing relationships. This time he didn’t make a joke though. For a moment, the two of you kept staring at each other, letting the noice of the atmosphere dance in between.

“Captain” A feminine voice called Chanyeol. It was Serena, one of the court’s ladies.

You knew that she has been after your friend since he took his leap to manhood. Every know and then, she would find any chance to ruin your moments with him and you found her annoying.

“Your Grace” She said to you and smiled. A gesture so fake as her jewelled necklace.

“Serena” You smiled back. “Are you enjoying the party?”.

“Oh yes! Every part of it”. She said enthusiastically “You did a magnificent work your Highness”.

“I’m glad that you like it. After all, we make this gatherings for the people to enjoy them”. You said.

“Of course!” The woman said. “And I’m looking forward to see your dancing. I heard that Prince Eric is wonderful dancer”.

“In that case, you could dance with him. I wouldn’t mind at all” You tell her. Sounding as calm as you could seem.

“Actually, I was wondering if Captain Park would do me the honor of being my dancing partner for tonight.” She said as she came closer to him and touched his arm.

Chanyeol looked at her weirded out. “I...” He was saying when you cut him off. 

“Oh dear. I’m afraid that wouldn’t be possible” You told her, trying to come up with the best sorrowful face you could muster. “The King asked him to look after me and never leave my side.” You took hold of his other arm firmly.

“Isn’t that right Captain?” You lifted your gaze at him.

“Yes, Your Grace.” He said and turned his face towards Serena. He grabbed her hand and took it off his arm. “Pardon me Mrs. Wayburn but my duty comes first”.

She looked at you and pursed her lips in a fine line.

“Well, it’s a shame” She said trying to cover her anger. 

“You could save him a dance for the ball next year” You suggested. “Now if you’ll excuse us. I have to go check the other guests”. You pulled Chanyeol along with you and headed towards the other corner.

“Ahg, I can’t stand her”. You said. “She’s the fakest person I have ever known and believe me I have met plenty of those”.

“Y/n” Chanyeol said. 

“What?” You asked him.

“Can you let go of my arm?” Chanyeol lowered his gaze to where your hand was. You followed his gaze and released him “Sorry”.

“Were you jealous of her asking me to dance?” Your friend look at you amused.

“What?!” You chuckled. “I was not. I just wanted to ruin her evening just as she ruins every other day in my life”. You grinned at him.

“Hmm...Why do I sense that’s not the only reason?” He questioned.

“Maybe the booze had numb your senses” You said dismissively and he cackled.

“I have only had the one you gave me” He said matter of factly.

“Then you don’t handle alcohol well” You shrugged.

The trumpet sounded, announcing for everyone to be quiet.

“Honorable guests. It is time for the Princess dance to begin” The Herald announced. “Before it, all the Princes must present their gifts to the Princess”. 

As you heard them calling for you, you took the remains of your drink in one sip and gave the glass to Chanyeol.

“Well, wish me luck”. You said and gave an inhaled deeply.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chanyeol saw you smiling widely to everyone around and stooping in front of the dance floor while the Princes formed a line.

“Here you have Princess. A box from our most famous and rare Chocolate”. Prince Theodore said as he showed you the inside of the box. “It’s as sweet as your personality”. He smiled at you.

“How wonderful, Your Grace!. I’m sure they are so exquisite that I won’t even want to share them with my Father”. You said and everyone laughed at that although you thought it wasn’t that funny. 

Oh how I hate flatterers. You thought.

“Thank you for your gift” You said and he stepped aside.

“Princess Y/n. I have brought you gold earrings.” Prince Nicholas said. “They shine just as much as your smile”.

“Thank you, Prince Nicholas. I’m sure they will be a perfect match to some of my dresses” You smiled.

“Your grace” Prince Eric now spoke. “I have come with this beautiful necklace. As you can see it has beautiful sapphires in it.” He said pleased with the people’s reaction. “But I’m sure they can’t be compare with your beauty”.

At all the compliments, girls and women whispered excitedly.

“Thank you, Prince Eric. Its beauty is unique on its own”. You smiled.

That parade continued until the last prince present himself before you. The dance started and everyone gathered around the dance floor.  The guests were delighted with the show. Your parents were smiling and looking at you proudly while you go from one prince’s hand to another.

In one corner, Chanyeol was looking at you too. His eyes following your swift silhouette as it moved graciously on the floor. You smiled all the time, even when you tried to hide your pained face when one of the men stomped your foot. Everyone might think you were having the time of your life, enjoying yourself and your dance partners’ companionship but there was one person in the whole room that could read you like any other and that was the Captain. Chanyeol knew that what others could see as happiness in your face, it was nothing more than a mere facade to please them. He knew you wouldn’t let this society to consume you. He wanted to believe that so badly so his fear of loosing you could diminished. He was certain that you would never accept one of this men as your husband and yet he didn’t know why he freaked out at the mention of it. The dance ended and everyone clapped. You and the others made their respectful goodbye bows and the celebration kept going.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chanyeol walked around absentmindedly and headed towards the food table. She doesn’t care for them. She said she would rather be alone than being with any of them. But what if there are other princes that would come looking for her? What if she falls in love with one of them?. What if her parents forced her to marry? What if...? Chanyeol thought to himself. 

He pull out from his pocket a little box with a ribbon about it. Inside of it there was a bracelet made of silver with little silver snowflakes hanging from it.  He had asked his friend, a silversmith named Kyungsoo, if he could make the design Chanyeol had drawn of the bracelet. He had thought you would love it since it has something that reminded you of your favourite season. Of course, he couldn’t compare the value of it with jewels and gold and other expensive gifts the others had given you. Although he knew you have never care for such superficial things, he couldn’t stop thinking about how he could never offer you that. He was contemplating the box and running his fingers over it when you surprised him.

“What are you doing?” You said behind him and he got startled.

“Good heavens!” Chanyeol turned around to look at you and put the box back in his pocket. “You scared me”.

You frowned at him “what did you have in you hands?”.

“Nothing” Chanyeol said rapidly. 

“It looked like a box” Your eyes narrowed . “It’s a present, isn’t it?. Let me see it!” You said excitedly.

“It is not” The Captain said.

“Oh come on! What is it?” You came closer to him and padded his jacket and the sides of his pants.

“No!” He tried to sound serious but wasn’t unable to since he felt ticklish.

“Y/n stop!” He growled. grabbed your wrists to stop you. 

You looked at him baffled.  Chanyeol was frowning at you But the moment your expression changed he felt bad for his outburst and his face soften.

“Let me go” you said quietly and he released your hands.  Luckily for the two of you nobody saw what had happened.

“Y/n I—“ Chanyeol was saying when you walked towards the entrance door hurriedly.

The tall boy sighed in frustration while you were leaving the room and followed you. The corridor that led to the second floor of the castle was deserted. Only the crackling of the torches that illuminated the hall and your heels smashing against the concrete could be heard. You felt embarrassed and angry at how Chanyeol had treated you in the ballroom.

“Y/n wait” Chanyeol called after you as he was rushing through the hall and trying to catch up with you. You didn’t want to look at him. You just wanted to get to your room and be alone for a while.

“I’m sorry! Please stop” Chanyeol said.

“It’s ok. Now go!” You said to him.  He increased his pace and pulled from your arm in order to make you stop.

“Y/n” He panted. “Please listen to me. I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have gripped you like that”.

“I know.” You told him and his eyes settle on you.

“I’m sorry for being so nosy but lets be clear on something. Never do that again.” You said firmly. “I won’t bother you in return”

Both looked at each other intently and a second later you lower your gaze and pressed your lips together -a gesture you would always do when you felt uncomfortable-. 

Chanyeol’s released a heavy sigh and pull out the box. “I didn’t want you to look at it because I was debating with myself wether I should give it to you or not”.

You looked at him shocked “So it is for me?”. He nodded and took one hand of yours to put the box in it. You looked at it and unwrapped it.

“Oh!” You exclaimed and took the bracelet outside the box.

“I know it not gold or jewels but” He was saying and scratching the back of his neck.

“It’s beautiful” You breathed and he gazed at you.

“You really like it?” Chanyeol asked you.

“Like it? I love it!” You smiled at him. “Where did you buy it?”.

“I asked Kyungsoo to help me with it. I already had the sketch and...”. The tall boy answered.

You looked at him wide eyed “You sent this to be made for me?”.

“Yes” He admitted.

“It’s gorgeous Chanyeol. Why would you think I wouldn’t like it”. You said inquisitively. “Well, a lot of the Princes gave you jewelry this year and I thought…”. He was saying when you took his hand and he shut up.

“Listen to me. I love this gift very much and knowing it was made just for me will make me cherish it even more”. You said.

Every gesture, every smile, every glint in your eyes, Chanyeol knew there were all true. You were happy. He made you happy. That’s why he decided to tell your the truth about his feelings for you.

“I Iove you Y/n” He said without a tremor in his voice. “I’m in love with you and I know I can’t compete against Princes or Kings due to my position. I just wanted to let you know because maybe that way I wouldn’t felt this as a burden”.

You looked at him with teary eyes. You could felt the pain in his last words. The heavy burden he had been carrying it was as heavy as yours since you loved him too. You came closer to him until your chests could barely touch. You cupped his cheek and he gulped.

“I love you too Chanyeol. What I feel for you has been a burden too but also the greatest joy I could’ve ever felt”. You gave him a tender smile. He turned his face so he could kiss your hand.

“Come with me. I have a gift for you too” You said and grabbed his hand as you took him to the corner of the other hall. There was a massive window and through it the forest covered in white frost could be seen. The moonlight was coming through it and illuminated the whole corridor.

“Look up” You said to him.  Chanyeol did what you told him and lifted his gaze. He could see something hanging from the ceiling. A kind of branches.

“Is that...?” He was frowning at it. You grabbed his cheeks and stood on your tiptoes to have him a kiss. He closed his eyes and opened them quickly. He was baffled from your action.

“That’s mistletoe” You said.

“Are you crazy?” Chanyeol murmured. “What if someone had seen us?”.

“Well, I could say I wasn’t in my right mind” You said dismissively. 

“And they could believe I took advantage of it” Chanyeol pointed out.

You snorted “Sure. My father has more faith in you than he has in me”.

“Although I really appreciate the gesture. I don’t know what are we going to do now.” The Captain sighed.

“I want to be with you Chanyeol. Even if it costs me my position” You said to him seriously.

“Are you willing to do the same for me?” Chanyeol eyes gleamed “Yes. I would do that and more”. He sneaked his arms around you and you put your hands over his chest. 

“You are my life Y/n”. He said against your lips. You could feel his breath brushing the corners of your mouth.

“You are mine” You whispered and he kissed you. It started gentle, slow, as both of you were memorizing each other’s mouth. Then it transform to a more passionate kiss until you were out of breath and separated your lips from his.

“That’s was...” you panted. Both of you trying to catch their breathings.

“Yeah” He thought the same.

“Amazing” You laughed and he did too.

After a moment, Chanyeol asked you “Are we going to tell your parents?”.

“Not now” You said. “Lets just enjoy this evening”.

You hugged him and he laid his head over yours. He was caressing your hair as you two moved slowly to the rhythm of the music.