#thought it was a good proof of concept but idk if people will like it so I'm leaving it here

[a-teacup-of-golden-cracks]

CW: very much smut and also petplay, reader is assumed submissive. This writing does not assume the reader's gender, nor does it assign a type of pet (ie cat, dog, fox, etc.) for the petplay aspect. The term Mistrum is used in reference to myself and is the gender neutral version of Master/Mistress

Over the past few weeks you've been living with me you've never been happier. Every need and want in that silly little head always met, never having to feel worry or do any work. Just stay at home and be my adorable little pet. Except for one thing.

Recently you've noticed that you started to be unable to cum without me touching you. Doesn't matter what toys you use, how long you go for, even with your favorite porn and the perfect setup, its just... not the same without me. Your dildos and vibrators simply don't feel as good as having my girldick in you, your poor dumb paws can never give you the pleasure my hands can.

So one day after you get particularly frustrated, you come to me in my office, begging for help with the need between your legs. As usual when I'm working at home I have loose and comfortable clothes on. The baggy sweatpants and t-shirt hide much of my muscular and effeminate figure. The only hint of what's beneath is my large biceps and the fact that my sweatpants are tight around my ass. In your mind though...

In your mind you remember me completely naked and above you, powerful muscles rippling as I thrust into you. You remember the sweat that dripped from my hair to your lips, how it tasted, how my perky breasts bounced with my movements. You remember how easily I was able to pin you, control you, dominate you and it makes you somehow more desperate than you already were.

With this scene on repeat in your mind you enter the office and nuzzle my side to get my attention.

"Please Mistrum, please please please help me, I need you, I can't finish without you anymore, I'm so desperate pleasseee"

I know I probably shouldn't stop my work but how can I deny caring for my beloved little pet? You're just the cutest little thing with your adorable pleading face, eyes wide open and glistening with the hint of tears. And your paws! Oh your paws which normally clasp together so nicely when you beg keep rubbing down there, showing how truly desperate you are.

So after a moments hesitation I get up from my desk and smile warmly at you "Come here my sweet pet; let me care for you, baby~"

[icewindandboringhorror]

Hrmm... Revising my game and I feel like there's still sooo much writing left to do, for something that probably won't even amount to much, so.. I do want to narrow my focus more (especially given my health problems seeming to get worse/less energy the past few years), but I'm not sure how would be best to...

I currently have 5 characters as the Main ones with full planned questlines and such, with each character having 6 quests you can do for them. But I haven't really started the writing for the 5th main character. So then I was thinking, if I were going to write 6 full quests worth of content anyway... is it better to allocate that time on just doing a Complete 6 Quests for ONE single character, OR would it be better to do something like.. choose THREE side characters and do 2 quests for each of them? So that people have a wider variety to interact with and sort of sample around (of course with the idea that, once the first version of the game is released, IF people actually care about it enough to make it worth the effort, I would then add additional content to complete those 3 characters stories as well)

-

SO... If you were playing an interactive fiction sort of game centered around talking to & doing quests for a cast of characters (like there's no larger plot, more it's just about interacting with people, every character kind of has a self contained story, the focus is just learning about them and the world and exploring the area) --- Which would you rather have?

(and of course it would be stated up front which characters have only partial questlines, so people don't expect them to have full quests like the others and then get disappointed, or etc. etc.)

Basically, is it better to just focus in specifically on having one fully complete questline? Or for there to be a few stories that are not complete yet, but have more initial options available?

[hannieehaee]

just saw ur orange peel hcs and it made me think about how the members would react to the ketchup on counter trend (i find the trend to be incredibly sad tbh)

in particular, i can just see cheol, mingyu, shua and dk be like ????? what kind of people have u been w in the past babe? are u okay?

haven’t thought about the other members and their reactions to it tho

ketchup on counter trend

content: established relationship, cleaning, fluff, crack, etc.

wc: 701

a/n: i'm ngl i have no idea what this trend is lol i dont have tiktok but i tried looking it up and i think maybe i found it?? if i got it wrong pls let me know<3

masterlist

seungcheol -

confused at you and refusing to clean it up until you explain why you'd make a mess on purpose. not mad but just very lost. when you explained it, his innate need to be the best boyfriend would make him wanna clean it up for you and even wipe the whole counter if necessary to prove what a great boyfriend he was.

jeonghan -

he has no concept of current trends so you'd have to explain it to him before he agreed to clean it up. would still say no afterwards just to annoy you and bc it was technically your own mess. would still kiss your pout right off your face afterwards, proving himself to be a sweet yet annoying boyfriend.

joshua -

would ask why you keep on testing him like this when you already know he's the perfect boyfriend!! he'd clean it up with no issue but would jokingly side eye you about it.

jun -

he'd immediately assume it was some sort of challenge since this was kind of a dumb thing to do for no reason. just to prove himself to be the perfect boyfriend, he'd clean it up without letting you know that he knew he was being tested. would maybe jokingly bite you in defiance afterwards due to the silliness of it all (idk i see him as someone who bites lovingly OK its my headcanon)

soonyoung -

he's chronically online so he already knew what you were doing so he'd just giggle and convince you to help him clean it up, since he knew he'd make it an even bigger mess if he did it on his own.

wonwoo -

rolls his eyes (lovingly) at you and stops whatever he's doing to go clean up your mess. he's really clean so it'd take him under a minute and then he'd place the ketchup out of your reach so you couldnt do it again. would even straight up as you if there were any other proofs of love he needed to get through or if you were ready to sit on his lap while he played video games again.

jihoon -

yet another member who'd just be confused at why you'd do that. but he kinda enjoys cleaning anyway, so he'd just clean it up for you. wouldnt ask since he'd just assume it was yet another test of love you found on tiktok. he'd have a hard time not smearing the mess further but would get the job done easily enough.

seokmin -

he wouldnt even think twice before cleaning it up, apparently automatically coded to do any and every little task for you with no question. he'd only realize what happened til after he had cleaned it up, leading him to ask why you spilled ketchup on purpose. when you explained, he'd just jokingly scold you about it.

mingyu -

he'd be confused for a second, turning his head to the side like a confused puppy before cleaning up without further question. would have no issue cleaning it up perfectly on his first try.

minghao -

he knew what the challenge was and would chuckle at how silly it was for you to try and test him on it. would clean it up perfectly just to prove a point that 1. he was the perfect boyfriend and 2. he was competent enough to clean up whenever necessary.

seungkwan -

even if he knew you were just testing him for a lil challenge, he'd lightheartedly scold you for it and go into full mom mode and clean it up as he scolded you for it. he'd kinda have some type of cuteness aggression towards you afterwards, claiming you frustrated him but in a good way.

vernon -

would react to it by asking you why you'd make a mess on purpose? wouldn't get angry about it, just extremely confused. wouldnt wanna clean it up though since you'd caused the mess so he'd settle for a compromise in which he'd help you as long as you explained yourself.

chan -

he'd be confused but the moment you gave him an expectant look and asked him to please clean it up for you, he'd do it without question lol. he'd just want some praise in return.

[cinnamostar]

01: self-fulfilling prophecy 

part two.

pairing : jisung x gn!reader

summary : han jisung, the man who is incapable of maintaining a relationship for more than a few months. han jisung, the man who is in complete denial that maybe he is the problem. han jisung, the man who has convinced himself he isn’t meant for love.

wc : 8.5k

cw : not proof read, nonidol!au, alcohol/drinking, sadness, angst, arguing, cursing, some cute stuff. plz let me know if i missed anything.

a/n : likes, reblogs, and feedback is much appreciated!! not too confident on this one because idk, i feel like the dialogue isn’t well executed, but let me know what you think. please enjoy!

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Jisung didn’t exactly have the best track record when it came to romance. He never did anything exceedingly horrendous, he always remained faithful in each relationship he had, but they never lasted long. He simply didn’t know how to be a good partner, always too focused on his own needs to the point that his selfishness turned into emotional neglect for the other. 

It’s not that he didn’t like the people he dated. He genuinely adored them for who they were, yet he always found himself heartbroken and confused at the end of each relationship when they would all voice the same exact reasonings on why they were ending it. 

“I just don’t feel like you care about my feelings.”

“It feels like you don’t even like me enough to put in the effort to make this work.”

“I don’t feel like a priority in your life.”

“I swear you forget we’re even in a relationship.”

“You’re too focused on yourself and everything else to even make time for me.”

Like clockwork, a few months would pass by and his partner would sit him down for the break up talk. It was exhausting. He was clueless, not having any idea what he was doing so wrong even though he would always receive a list of reasons each time. In his eyes, he was doing the best he could, but perhaps his best was not enough. 

Of course he cared for their feelings! Of course he liked them, he could’ve sworn he was doing his damnedest. Not a priority? That was ridiculous, he always made time to spend with his partner during the week despite his busy schedule. Forget? Nonsense! Too focused on himself? Well, of course he was focused on pursuing his music career which required long hours at the studio, why would he want to be with someone who didn’t support his endeavors? They knew what they were getting into when they met him!

It made zero sense to Jisung. At some point, he had given up on love altogether. Maybe he just wasn’t meant for it, maybe relationships were just not his thing. Clearly, he was doing something wrong and he decided that maybe hook up culture was just where he belonged. 

What Jisung failed to realize was that he was forcing his own ideals of a relationship onto his partners. The idea that people had different needs and perceptions on how relationships should function never dawned on him. He never thought to consider what the other person wanted and had simply assumed they would be content with whatever he had to offer. 

He forgot that some people needed more reassurance. He forgot some people wanted to go on actual dates, not everyone considered a night in a date, especially if every date was a night in. He forgot that some people didn’t just want to sit in a room with him while he was on his phone or working on his next project. Sometimes people wanted his undivided attention. Sometimes people wanted to be able to hold a conversation with him. Sometimes people needed more communication because quite frankly, three texts a day didn’t quite cut it for most people.

Yet, Jisung was too absorbed in his own world and his passions to even begin to understand that concept. He absolutely refused to believe he was doing something wrong and that he was just dating the wrong people this whole time. He just hadn’t found the one, right?

Despite that foolish belief he stubbornly held onto, it didn’t mean each instance didn’t take a hit on his ego. After the many failed relationships he had been through, the fear of inadequacy and insecurity began to creep into his mind. Was he not worthy of love? Was he incapable of forming a healthy relationship? Was something wrong with him?

He felt that he had so much love to offer in his heart, but he had no idea what it took to be a good partner. He was too tunnel visioned on producing and music to realize that sometimes, love and relationships required a bit of sacrifice, and that was something he refused to do.

Yet, Jisung wanted to fall in love. Like any other human on earth, he craved to love and be loved, to be understood wordlessly by someone else, but it seemed like love didn’t welcome him with open arms. He desperately wanted to feel like he was needed and wanted, to feel the bubbling shyness and giddiness that only love could give him, but somehow, it seemed that he was the victim of a paradox. Love hated him.

However, Jisung had resigned and accepted defeat. He wasn’t cut out for it. Besides, it’s not like anyone would even bother to give him a chance anymore. After a few failed relationships, people were quick to label him as ‘trash’ and a terrible boyfriend, only good for fun, but definitely nothing more. It was almost as if he had a permanent warning label above his head that scared off anyone who had any remote interest in him. 

People talked. And if anyone so much expressed any interest in him, someone would leap in to rescue them from a foreseeable heartbreak, telling them he was no good and a waste of time. Oh, but if you wanted a few nights of fun and to just fool around, he was perfect for that, but never, and absolutely under no circumstances, was he someone to settle down with. 

He was the only one to blame for his infamy in the dating scene, but Jisung was suffering from a case of extreme delusion and oblivion. Maybe one day he would lose that self-centered immaturity and have a much needed epiphany, but that day seemed far off in the future.

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For the past week, Jisung had holed himself in his studio, insistent on perfecting his latest track by some arbitrary deadline he had set for himself. This was a regular occurrence that his friends had gotten used to. They would be more surprised if this didn’t happen, but this also meant that they had to pay a visit to his studio every few days and force him to take a break for the sake of his mental and physical health. 

Today was one of those days in which Minho came knocking at his door after unlocking the door with the passcode Jisung had given him long ago, reminding him to come by his place later that night for a small party to celebrate his dance troop’s recent competition win. While Jisung was proud of this achievement, part of him felt a tad bit annoyed that he had to interrupt his work schedule for someone else, but Minho was one of his best friends, he at the very least should show up for a bit. He could stay for an hour or two, and hopefully by then everyone would be a little too drunk to notice he had escaped back to his studio.

Jisung sighed as he begrudgingly made his way to Minho’s apartment, dreading the amount of people he would have to socialize with tonight. He was relieved to know that a few familiar faces would be there, such as Hyunjin and Felix, who were also part of the troop, but the team had also gone through auditions recently, meaning there would be people he would have to meet for the first time.

He wasn’t one for befriending strangers, as oftentimes, many of them had a negative impression of him due to his dating history. He hated how every time he introduced himself, as soon as the words “Han Jisung” left his mouth, people’s faces would drop into an unreadable expression, almost as if they were disappointed to finally meet the man who was rumored to be complete and utter trash. It was anxiety-inducing and turned him off from seeking out new friendships because everyone would always say “Oh! Did you used to date my friend?” And at that moment, he knew it was over. They hated him before they even got to know him. As a result, Jisung always felt apprehensive when it came to meeting new people and he much preferred sticking with his small circle of friends. 

As Jisung arrived at the front steps of Minho’s apartment, he felt his shoulders tense up with trepidation as he subconsciously bit the inside of his cheek. The party had already started with the music blaring throughout the building, the lights dimmed with colorful LEDs visible from the window. A chorus of joyful cheers followed by the clinking of shot glasses and laughter could be heard from outside, signaling that the party was already in full swing. Jisung let out an uneasy groan, unprepared for what the night would bring, but reassured himself knowing that he only needed to stay for at least an hour before he could retreat back to the safe haven known as his studio.

After a sharp inhale, Jisung put on a fake smile as he opened the door, instantly greeted by a drunken Changbin who was double fisting two beers, wearing a toothy smile.

“Jisung! You made it!”

The last thing Jisung wanted tonight was to be put in the spotlight, which Changbin just unknowingly thrust him into with no warning. Others nearby turned their attention to the front door, some choosing to ignore Jisung’s presence to continue their conversations while others politely waved or called out a quick hello. 

Minho shortly appeared in Jisung’s vision, grinning from ear to ear as he pulled him into a one-armed hug, “Glad you showed up, I was worried you forgot!” An airy chuckle escaped Minho as Jisung gasped, feigning a look of betrayal while playfully shoving Minho’s shoulder, “How dare you think I’d forget my best friend’s party? I would never!”

Minho rolled his eyes at Jisung’s gesture before dragging him by his wrist. “Whatever you say, but c’mon! I want you to meet our new members. Plus, you look a little too stiff for my liking,so  let's get some drinks in ya first.”

Suddenly, shot glasses filled with tequila were shoved into Jisung’s hand as people egged him on to down them, chasing the two shots with lime and salt to cut through the harshness of the alcohol. A familiar buzz took over his senses, his head feeling lighter than usual as a lopsided smile appeared on his face while the nervousness he felt earlier quickly dissipated. 

The bit of liquid courage energized Jisung enough to forget all the now seemingly silly concerns he had earlier as he jumped through the bunches of people, excitedly yapping away as he caught up with friends and introduced himself to new people. Each time he noticed someone cringing at the sound of his name or giving him a dirty look, he would promptly take another shot to rid himself of the anxiety he was feeling, hoping the alcohol would make him just unaware enough of any other glares he would receive from people that night.

Eventually, Jisung made his way to the loft upstairs to take a break from the hectic party below, already feeling a headache coming on. He stumbled his way to the couch, not paying much mind to his surroundings as he plopped himself onto the couch, immediately throwing his head back while shutting his eyes.

“Oh, he definitely overdid it again,” laughed Felix from the left of him, “How many shots did you take?”

Jisung waved his hand as if he was shooing Felix away while mumbling, “Don’t even ask.”

He heard an unfamiliar giggle erupt from the right side of him, causing him to sit straight up with his eyes wide, hastily snapping his head to see who the laugh belonged to, not expecting anyone other than his friends here.

He found himself staring into your eyes that were crinkled from laughing, a lax smile adorning your face as you brought up a hand to hide behind. Your laugh was rich and decadent, almost as sweet as chocolate, and your smile was so refreshing that it instantly roused him from his drunken state the moment his eyes landed on you.

Oh, shit, they’re cute.

Jisung’s inebriated state had caused him to lose all self-awareness because all he could do was gawk at you with enamored eyes, his lips slightly parted as he struggled to find the words to introduce himself. He felt his face flush from embarrassment when you returned his gaze while wearing an expectant expression, patiently waiting for him to finish his sentence.

“I- Oh, uhm, I…”

You had instantly captured his heart with the most saccharine smile he has ever seen and within a few seconds, Jisung was undeniably smitten, but he was also completely making a fool of himself within those same few seconds.

“Jesus christ, Jisung, how drunk are you?” howled Hyunjin, who had gotten up to lightly poke Jisung’s cheek, “Helloooo, earth to Jisung? Anyone home?”

“Dude… Close your mouth before you start drooling over there. I don’t think that’s an image you want Y/N to have during your first meeting,” Seungmin, who was sitting on the floor, mischievously sneered, quickly recognizing Jisung’s speechless state was caused by something more than just alcohol. Jisung shook his head side to side to wake himself from his lovestruck daze, clearing his throat in an attempt to cover up Seungmin’s comment. 

“Mm, sorry! I just-,” 

Oh, this is bad, he really is making this so much worse for himself. He was now regretting all the shots from earlier as he tripped over his words, his nerves not being of any help. He desperately was trying to say something sensible, but instead, all he could blurt out was,

“Jisung! I’m Jisung… yeah!”

Now it is a lot worse as Jisung cringed at how loud and annoying his voice was, everyone else also seemingly cowering from second hand embarrassment as they watched the scene unfold, but no one was able to peel their eyes away.

Like an angel sent from heaven, Felix decided to have mercy on the brown haired boy, peeking out from behind Jisung to meet your eyes at the other side of the couch. “Y/N, this is our friend Jisung! He makes music with Changbin and Chan. Jisung, this is Y/N. They’re one of our newest members on the team.” God, Jisung could kiss Felix right now from how relieved he was to have alleviated the awkward tension he had just created moments earlier.

You nodded, smiling at Jisung as your eyes lit up in realization, “Oh, Jisung? I’ve heard about you before.”

Ah, there it is. Of course! Of course you have and how stupid of him to think he’d be able to have an untarnished first impression with you and-

“Minho says so many good things about you! He even showed me some of your songs. You’re really talented at what you do, I definitely added a few to my playlist.”

Someone pinch Jisung right now because he must be dreaming, there’s absolutely no way. Is luck finally on his side? Has God finally decided to be oh-so-merciful today? He was on cloud nine as he relished in your compliments, savoring this moment because this may never happen again.

Jisung clicked his teeth as he waved both his hands in front of him with a flustered smile, “Oh, no, no, no, I am not that good! But thank you!” The alcohol was really doing a number on him as he slurred over each syllable, but thankfully he was coherent enough for everyone to understand what he said. 

You let out a breathy laugh at his antics while standing from your seat, “Well, it's nice to finally put a face to the name, but I do have to go now, I have to be up early.”

Jisung deflated as everyone wished you good night, feeling disappointed how quickly your first meeting with him ended. Hyunjin stood up, offering to walk you out and once you were out of earshot, Jisung whipped his head to Felix.

“Felix… Who was that? How long have you been hiding them from me?”

Seungmin struggled to contain his laugh, earning a confused look from Jisung, “What are you laughing at?”

“Dude, you. You looked so stupid trying to talk to them.”

Jisung threw himself back into the couch, sinking into the cushions with an embarrassed groan, “Shut up, I know.”

Felix laughed, shooting Jisung a pitiful smile, “You’ve done worse, it’s fine. And no one was hiding them from you, you just never show up when we invite you anywhere. That is your own fault, not ours!” Jisung pouted, cursing himself mentally for rejecting all those plans.

“They’re cool, they’ve been on our team for a few months. Crazy good at dancing too, we are super lucky to have them.”

“Are they dating anyone?”

The room grew quiet at Jisung’s question as Seungmin and Felix looked at each other with uneasiness, unsure how to respond. Hyunjin had come back up the stairs after walking you to your car, just in time to hear Jisung. He let out a heavy sigh, alerting everyone of his presence.

“I… I think it's best if you just leave them alone, Jisung. They’re a really sweet person and you, well…”

“Me what? What do you mean?” Jisung furrowed his eyebrows at Hyunjin as the taller boy struggled to finish his thought.

“Just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Why?”

“Seriously, Jisung? I know you’re wasted right now, but don’t make me say it. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

And he did, he knew that Hyunjin was referring to his dating history, but Jisung felt himself growing angry hearing his friend allude to him being a bad partner, suggesting he would hurt you. 

“No, I want to hear you say it,” Jisung spat out, a scowl painted all over his face as he stared down Hyunjin with his arms crossed, who was still standing by the stairs. He felt himself become warm in frustration as all the insecurities he held close to his heart started to bubble up. Did his own friend’s think so poorly of him too?

Felix reached out to put a reassuring hand on Jisung’s shoulder, hoping to defuse the situation, “Let’s not do this right now. You’re still drunk, Jisung.” Jisung shook Felix’s hand off his shoulders, standing up while still glaring at Hyunjin with clenched fists. 

“Say it.”

“Jisung-” warned Felix, but he was cut off by Seungmin.

“You’re a shit boyfriend, Jisung. We don’t need you hurting someone we’re friends with again.”

The room was silent as everyone now stared at Seungmin with wide eyes, startled at how blunt he was being. Jisung didn’t know what he was feeling as a flash of rage took over his body, but at the same time, he felt his heart drop hearing those words come out of his own friend’s mouth. It was now Hyunjin’s turn to butt in,

“Seungmin, stop-”

“No, he needs to hear it straight up. He fucking sucks and you all know I’m right. I’m tired of him acting like he isn’t the problem. Leave Y/N alone. They’re better off without you.”

Jisung felt hot tears well up in his eyes as he took in every one of Seungmin’s words, each casting daggers into his heart. His worst nightmares were coming true as he realized that it wasn’t just strangers and ex-lovers who viewed in such a negative light, but the people he trusted so much, his own friends, also thought the same of him. The fury laced in Seungmin’s voice cut Jisung deep as every syllable pushed him over the edge til Jisungfound himself falling into a pit of sadness and hurt, his stomach flipping onto itself on his way down.

Was he really that bad? Wait, no! How dare Seungmin say such a thing to him? What does Seungmin even know about Jisung’s past relationship? He was stepping out of line! The sadness instantly subsided, soon being replaced with a familiar feeling of denial and anger as Jisung stomped towards Seungmin, crouching down to meet him on the floor. Jisung sloppily grabbed Seungmin by the collar of his shirt, pulling him close to his face.

“What the fuck did you just say? Take it back right fucking now,” growled Jisung, venom dropping down from each word.

Seungmin rolled his eyes, pushing the drunken boy off him who stumbled backwards, “See, this right here is your problem. You can’t even begin to accept that you’re in the wrong.” Seungmin stood up, now looking down at Jisung who still hadn’t regained his balance. He took in an exasperated inhale, a subdued smile replacing the vexed look he just had as he softened his tone, “Look, Jisung. I love and care for you, but I cannot turn a blind eye and let you hurt someone else. I mean it. Leave them alone.” With that, Seungmin made his way to the stairs, wanting nothing more than to get away from Jisung at that moment before he said something he’d later regret.

Jisung remained seated on the floor as he was processing the words and emotions that were rushing in all at once, his drunken brain unsure how to handle all the information he was just fed. He laid his head into his hands as his brain echoed Seungmin’s words again and again. 

Jisung felt his breath get caught in his throat as he hiccuped a quiet sob, his body starting to tremble as the tears he was holding back for so long finally fell. His body collapsed onto itself as his heart stuttered in his chest, his lungs burning from the lack of air as he continued to inconsolably weep, struggling to breathe between his cries. 

Maybe he is as bad as everyone said he was.

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A few weeks had gone by since Jisung and Seungmin’s argument at the party, but the tension between the two boys didn’t last long as Seungmin showed up to Jisung’s apartment the very next day with a bowl of soup for his hangover and an apology, which Jisung graciously accepted, neither wanting to be upset at each other any longer. 

Despite that, the words Seungmin had said never left Jisung, leaving a permanent scar on his brain as he constantly recalled the moment. The words painfully rang through his ears as a ball of shame and misery formed in his stomach while he reminisced about his past relationships, trying to figure out what he did so wrong. 

Jisung felt horrible as he carried this weight of guilt on his shoulders as he wondered how his actions had hurt others and how he had remained oblivious for so long. All the insecurities and fears he had about himself were true at the end. Everyone around him was in agreement that he was the issue and he was the one behaving so selfishly in every relationship. He could understand that and he knew if his friend’s felt that way, it had to be the truth, but he was still struggling to identify what exactly about him and his behavior was so bad. 

Sure, he could reach out and ask his friends to help see what he was missing, but he was too afraid to face the reality of the situation, not ready to take another brutal beating of words. He was terrified to hear the truth, but he knew the same conclusion he came to long ago remained true. Love was just not for him, it didn’t want him the same way he did.

Everyone had taken note of Jisung’s downtrodden mood and thought he had just needed a few days to collect himself, but once everyone realized more time had passed and that he didn’t even have the will to attend a recording session with Chan and Changbin, everyone went into crisis mode. So, over the last few weeks, someone would show up to Jisung’s house to check in on him and either spend a few hours with him at home, or forcefully drag him out the house to spend time with the group, insisting it would help him feel better.

Each time someone had forced him out, he would be huffing and sulking like a grumpy toddler throwing a tantrum, but as soon as he got there, he would be as cheery as ever and would end the day feeling a lot better. He hated how right his friends were, but he was always thankful for every time they dragged him out despite his whiny and bratty attitude.

However, there was another mental battle Jisung was fighting that everyone was unaware of, or so he thought, and he was definitely not coming out of it as a winner. Unfortunately for Jisung, since the time you joined Minho’s dance team, you had hit it off so well with the rest of the group that you were there almost every time Jisung joined you guys on an outing. And each day he spent with you, he found himself falling more and more for you. 

He was really trying to stop himself, as he took Seungmin’s words to heart and imagined that sentiment was shared with everyone else, but this task was becoming an impossible one for Jisung to tackle!

It was weird. Every time he’d get invited out, Jisung would dread seeing you because he knew he was doomed to a hopeless, unrequited love with you, but if you weren’t there, he would be so disappointed and would find himself wanting to go home sooner. He wanted to stay as far away from you as possible, but something about you drew him in and he couldn’t resist and now here he is, finding himself in a friendship with you that he could not escape. 

It’s not that he didn't want to be friends with you, if anything he loved the friendship you two had grown in such a short time and how quickly he became fond of you. You were incredibly sweet to Jisung, constantly showing your consideration for him everyday in new ways. If he ever felt anxious or out of place, you were the first to take notice and offer to get him out of whatever stuffy social situation he was in and stay with him til he was ready to join the others again. If he had decided to stay in that day, you’d send him a message letting know he was missed and hoped to see him the next time. There was even a time where he was too sick to leave the house, and much to his surprise, he found you and Minho at his front door steps with food and medicine.

Somehow, unlike everyone else before you, you had shown him a special kind of unwavering kindness and didn’t judge him for his past. For the first time in years, he finally felt safe and unconditionally loved in a friendship that wasn’t one of the boys. That was enough for Jisung to know that you were someone he wanted to keep in his life for as long as possible, even if it meant he had to confront eventual heartbreak and only stay by your side as nothing more than a friend. 

But, that was okay. That was more than enough for him because as long as you were there, he would give you his all and support you endlessly. He would do anything to see you smile, anything to ensure your happiness, and if that meant he couldn’t be your lover, then that was a sacrifice he was willing to make. Besides, no one has ever been happy with him in a relationship. This was how it had to be, this is how he could protect you from himself.

Regardless of how Jisung felt towards you, he had seriously doubted you had any interest in him in the first place. How could someone as angelic as you want to be with, well, trash? There was no way you hadn’t heard about his disastrous dating history, and if you were as smart as he thought you were, that alone would turn you off from him. Not only that, he was pretty sure you had heard about the fight he had with Seungmin and if that fight said anything about him, it showed that he was a mess of insecurities and arrogance. Why on Earth would you ever like someone like that? And if you heard about the fight, he was positive that Seungmin and everyone else had warned you about him and dissuaded you from even considering anything romantic with him.

It was doomed! 

And although Jisung had earnestly vowed to himself he would not engage in anything romantic with you, he was failing miserably. His affection towards you was something everyone picked up on. He always, no matter what, had his undivided attention on you as you ranted to him about whatever bothered you that day or how you were struggling to nail a part of your dance routine. It was obvious. He loved hearing you talk and could listen to you for hours as if you were his own personal podcast, always mirroring your emotion and blindly agreeing with you during your rants, always asking you questions whenever you rambled on about your own hobbies and interests. 

If someone ever talked over you, he’d make sure to ask you what you were going to say. If you were upset that day, he’d always offer to buy you ice cream and insist to the group that they all needed to stop by the local ice cream shop. If you ever showed him a video of your latest dance routine, he’d shower you with a ridiculous amount of compliments until you were a flustered mess asking him to stop. And every time he noticed you were wearing a new outfit, changed your hair, or wore different jewelry, he would be quick to notice and let you know how wonderful you looked. He was shamelessly flirting with you, and he hadn’t even realized how far he had let it go. 

On the other side of the pond, you were well aware of every horrible thing that was said about Jisung, even long before you had become a member of Minho’s team, and to be quite frank, you thought he was a complete asshole from what you’ve heard. But once you realized that he was one of Minho’s lifelong best friends, you knew you had to push your personal feelings aside, especially when you realized some of the music Minho had you perform with was Jisung’s original work. You hated to admit it, but he was an absolute genius when it came to music production and you were slowly becoming a fan of his work. 

All you could tell yourself was that he couldn’t have been that bad if everyone was still his friend and reminded yourself people change, it’s not like you were going to end up liking the guy anyway. 

Oh, but you were so wrong. 

The first time you saw him at Minho’s party, you thought he was so irresistibly adorable during his drunken babbling, and you were honestly taken aback that the cute man who sat in front of you was none other than Han Jisung. Although, it did help soften your initial thoughts of him, making you think maybe he wasn’t that bad, especially after seeing him become a blushing mess at the mere sight of you, but those thoughts were quickly pushed away while Hyunjin walked you to your car after you left.

“Y/N…”

“Hmm?”

“I’m sure you’ve heard about Jisung from other people, right?”

“Oh, I’ve heard plenty, but he doesn’t seem so bad though.”

“Well, he isn’t if you’re just friends with him, but… He definitely seemed into you when he saw you and as your friend, I feel like it is my responsibility to let you know that he isn’t someone you should pursue. I love him, but you deserve someone better than that… I would hate to see him hurt another one of my friends.”

“Ah, no worries, Hyunjin. I’ve made dumb dating choices in the past, but I’m not that stupid.”

Except, you were that stupid. So, so, so incredibly stupid and you were terrified that anyone would uncover your growing crush on the boy. You could already imagine both Hyunjin and Seungmin’s disappointed looks, and you promised yourself you were taking this little secret to the grave. You had every reason in the world to not be attracted to Jisung, especially after hearing how he put his hands on Seungmin during their argument! Drunk or not, there’s no excuse for that and his denial of his actions said so much about him.

Yet, here you are, sitting next to Jisung on the couch in the living room of Minho’s place, excitedly talking to him about the latest episode of the drama you were currently watching, gossiping to him as if the actors were real people you knew in your personal life. He sat on the couch with his legs crossed, facing you while nodding along to every word you said, his eyes trained on you and you alone.

“And-, oh my god, I almost forgot, but the lead then told her to shut up! Can you believe that?!”

Jisung would then gasp, theatrically putting his hand on his chest, “No fucking way… What is his problem?”

“Right! And then-,” you paused for a moment, suddenly feeling insecure that you were forcing Jisung to listen about something he probably didn’t care for. You sighed and gave him an apologetic smile as you anxiously twiddled your fingers, “I’m sorry, I got carried away, you probably don’t wanna listen to me talk about some stupid drama.”

This time, Jisung did look genuinely surprised as his eyebrows furrowed upward with panicked eyes, “What? No, I love hearing you talk about this, you’re always so excited that it’s adorable.” He hated how fast your mood changed and started to worry if he had done something to make you feel that way. Did he look uninterested? Was he not responsive enough? 

“Did I do something to make you think I didn’t want to listen?”

You felt your cheeks grow warm at Jisung calling you adorable, and then felt your heart start beating loudly in your chest when he asked you that question with all the concern and worry in the world filling his eyes. You shot straight up in your seat, returning his gaze with astonishment, not expecting him to be so considerate. “No, no, you didn’t do anything wrong… I just…” You paused for a moment, trying to find the words without revealing too much on how you were feeling, “I just got nervous for a moment, I don’t know.”

Jisung nodded as you spoke, taking your hands in his as he gave you a reassuring smile, “Y/N, I promise there’s nothing more I’d love than to hear you talk. You could be explaining the most boring thing ever, and I would still listen to you happily.”

In the kitchen stood Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Minho who were watching the scene unfold before them as they prepared food for everyone, while the others were upstairs playing whatever video game upstairs. Seungmin narrowed his eyes as he watched Jisung reach for your hands, taking note of the flustered look on your face.

“I think Y/N likes him.”

Hyunjin and Minho turned to Seungmin for a moment, then looked back at you and Jisung, unsure what exactly Seungmin saw other than Jisung’s flirtations. 

Hyunjin let out an annoyed exhale as he continued to fry the eggs on the pan, then muttering, “There’s no way that’s possible. Y/N knows better.”

“I don’t know. Just look at them, they act like there’s no one else in the room when they’re together,” whispered Seungmin.

“I guess,” murmured Hyunjin, clearly upset about Seungmin’s hunch, “This is going to end terribly, isn’t it?”

Minho silently stood as he separated the ramen noodles that were boiling in the pot, humming along as he listened to the two younger boys angrily whisper. “I think it will be okay. I think our Jisungie has learned his lessons.”

The other two looked at him with disbelief, neither believing Jisung was capable of ever growing from the immature mindset he had for as long as they’ve known him. Hyunjin scoffed, “No, you don’t really think that, do you?”

Minho kept his eyes on the stove as the other two stared down at the back of his head, shrugging his shoulders, “Well, I could be wrong, I can’t exactly predict the future, but…” He then glanced back at the couch, smiling as Jisung made you laugh, “He treats them differently. I don’t know why, but he does. Don’t you two think so?”

Seungmin and Hyunjin stayed silent, not being able to deny Minho’s statement because they fully knew he wasn’t wrong. Everyone knew something in Jisung had changed when he had met you, and everyone saw how gently he treated you, almost as if he was scared he could scare you away with one little misstep.

“Whatever, I still don’t trust him,” Hyunjin grumbled, putting the last of the eggs on a plate.

Minho chuckled at both of the boy’s protectiveness, “That’s okay, no one is forcing you to, but remember, they’re both adults. They can do what they want, no matter how stupid we all think it is.”

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈ 

Months had gone by and there was no denying the small romance that had flourished between you and Jisung. You both were hopelessly head-over-heels for the other, to the point that everyone around you two had grown sick of it and was praying for the day where one of you would finally confess your feelings to the other. 

You had long given up on hiding your feelings for the boy from your friends, especially after one day Seungmin had confronted you and told you it was the most obvious thing in the world. Part of you had prepared yourself for Seungmin to berate you for your poor taste in men, especially after the plethora of warnings you had been given about Jisung, but instead, he was very supportive and wanted you to feel comfortable enough to talk to him about it, even if he thought you could do better.

Jisung had become a part of your daily life, spending nearly everyday with each other or at the very least, you both had become accustomed to texting one another throughout the day. You’d start your day either sending or receiving a ‘good morning’ text from him and you’d end your day the same way, except it was a ‘good night’ text. 

You’d often pay him a visit at his studio on days he had lost track of time, always letting yourself in after he had given you the passcode to the door, which he had only given to you, Minho, Chan, and Changbin. It came to you as a surprise when he gave you the code to his studio, insisting that you needed it so you could drop in whenever you wanted, telling you that you were always a welcomed guest at his studio. In reality, Jisung just wanted an excuse to see you more, and you had taken the bait as you would often show up with an iced americano in hand and whatever takeout food you were in the mood for that day.

If you ever had a long day of dance practice, Jisung would make sure to stop by to drop off a snack and drink as well, often receiving complaints from Minho over his blatant favoritism, accusing him of neglecting his best friend, which would cause Jisung to grow red from embarrassment. Despite his relentless teasing, Minho was more than proud to see how much Jisung had grown and how naturally caring for you had come to him. It was a side of Jisung no one had ever seen, and it was a very much welcomed change.

Today, you were sitting on the couch at Jisung’s apartment as he washed the dishes from the dinner you both had attempted to make, humming along as he put them in the drying rack. For some reason, you and Jisung had thought it would be a great idea to recreate a steak dish you both saw online and while it did not go terribly, the steaks ended up being a little too burnt for either of your liking. You were a bit disappointed, part of you feeling embarrassed you couldn’t even cook a proper meal in front of your crush, but he had lifted your spirits up by telling you it was an ‘excellent culinary choice’ to serve the steaks charred, shushing you each time you said the word burnt. 

Soon after, he took a seat next to you on the couch, flicking through the TV as he tried to find something to watch, but soon gave up as he turned to you, “Is there anything you wanna watch?” 

You scrunch up your face as you take a few seconds to think, clapping your hands excitedly once the idea hits you, “Have you ever watched Love is Blind? It’s kinda a dumb reality show, but I still haven’t seen the new season and it’s always a fun watch!”

Jisung furrowed his eyebrows quizzically, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy, “Love is Blind? I’ve never heard of it, what's it about?”

“Never heard of it!? No way!” You gasped, a hand clasping over your mouth dramatically as he smiled adoringly at your antics, “It’s such a crazy show! Basically, a bunch of singles are trying to find the love of their lives, but they’re meeting people without ever seeing what they look like!”

“Oh, so they only get to talk to each other?”

“Yeah! And then they have to get engaged, and once that happens, they can finally meet face to face. They’re supposed to get married at the end of the series, but there’s always juicy drama going on before then!”

Jisung hummed, taking interest in the show's concept, “That’s cool, so they’re trying to see if love is truly blind?”

“Exactly!” You chirped, nodding with enthusiasm as you beamed at Jisung, waiting for his response.

“Sure, let’s watch it!” How could he ever say no to you when you’re smiling at him that way? He swore he felt his heart flutter the moment you smiled at him, the jubilation in your eyes making him become putty in your hands. “Do you really believe in that though? Like, unconditional love?”

You turned to him as you grabbed the remote from his hands, a bit taken aback from his question, “Well, I’ve already seen the other seasons and some couples have definitely proven that love can be blind, but love differs for everyone. I think that’s the beauty of this show though, loving someone despite their flaws and loving them for who they truly are.”

He leaned back on the couch, returning your gaze as he lost himself deep in thought, “Right, but do you think you could love someone unconditionally? Even if they’ve made mistakes in the past?”

You furrowed your eyebrows as you tried to understand where Jisung was coming from, a gentle smile gracing your features as you reached a comforting hand over his wrist, “Well, as long as those past mistakes aren’t murder or something, I don’t see why not. I’d like to think people are able to grow from their past.”

Jisung smiled as he sighed in relief, his other hand resting on top of yours, “Even me?”

“Especially you.” 

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈ 

It was a quiet and cold night as you curled up into Jisung’s side, your head resting on his chest with a leg thrown over his as his arms swaddled you into a tight embrace. It was peaceful and serene, the only sounds filling the room was the light pitter patter of rain against his bedroom window and the comforting beat of his heart. You tilted your head upwards and caught Jisung’s gaze, a relaxed smile on his face as he leaned down to press a gentle kiss on your forehead, but you could’ve sworn you saw a glimmer of sadness in his eyes.

To be quite honest, you weren’t entirely sure what you and Jisung were, as neither of you had ever officially discussed labels, but you both were very aware of each other’s feelings for one another. There was no doubt that you both were more than just friends, but the label of partners or dating was something Jisung nervously tiptoed around. 

After a few weeks of these shared tender moments, you figured Jisung would soon ask you to be his, but the question never came and it filled you with nervousness. You didn’t want to pressure him, as you could sympathize with his concerns since he was very transparent with you about his hesitance from the very start.

Jisung was irrevocably in love with you and wanted nothing more than to make you his partner, but he would be lying to you if he wasn’t also terrified of the weight of that label. For so long, Jisung had convinced himself he was incapable of loving someone the way they deserved to be and never thought anyone would have ever fallen for him, especially someone as perfect as you. Perhaps it was your sheer kindness and undying belief in him, but he felt like a complete fraud, as if you had imagined him to be this amazing man that he could never be and has never been. He wasn’t ready to fall short of your expectations, he wasn’t ready to face the disappointed and heartbroken look on your face once you realized the rumors about him were complete truth.

He felt as if he was truly undeserving of someone as pure as you, someone so selfless and caring who approached their own feelings with so much confidence, while he was just a shamefully selfish man who didn’t know how to trust himself, who didn’t believe in his own ability to make his own partner happy, a man who was painfully insecure and unsure of who he was.

He wanted you with every fiber of his being and desperately wanted to be the very reason behind your smiles, laughter, and happiness. He so greedily desired to see his own reflection in your eyes for the rest of his life, a sight that he wanted to treasure for the rest of life and the thought of you looking at someone else that way physically pained him.

Yet, his fear of hurting you and disappointing everyone else around him held him back from chasing those feelings and Seungmin’s words from months ago ruminated in his mind as a constant reminder of his past failures. He would not be able to shoulder the burden of hurting you, the guilt would completely eat him up because at the end of the day, it would be his fault for fooling you into the idea that he was capable of giving you that movie perfect love story. For crying out loud, he’s Han Jisung, the guy everyone hated and criticized for his ineptitude of romantic relations. He knew what you wanted, he knew you were growing impatient and scared over his inaction, but his anxieties held him captive in a standstill, and he was not strong enough to challenge it.

All he could tell you was that he needed more time, that he was afraid and needed the chance to grow that confidence in himself once more, but he knew time was finite and he was running out of it. 

As he kissed your forehead, he felt his heart flinch as a pang of sadness flooded his body, forcefully fighting the overwhelming adoration and affection he had for you. He was petrified at the way his body slowly began to reject the feelings of love he had for you, fear and insecurities consuming it as if everything you had to offer nothing. All rational thinking had left him in that moment as panic took over his thoughts, angrily yelling at him for being such an idiot to think anything would ever change. How stupid he was to lead on another innocent person and how he was only going to hurt them, just like all the others before him. How idiotic he was for thinking he was ever deserving of love, as love does not wish to know him. 

He just couldn’t be your love.

God, if he wasn’t such a selfish asshole, maybe then he could’ve saved you from his own carelessness. If he had only heeded the warnings of his friends, but once again, he has fallen into the trap of self-centered needs outweighing the feelings of others. If he had only stayed your friend and nothing more, if he had only not-

“Y/N, I don’t think this is going to work.”

Did he really say that out loud? He held his breath as he cursed himself for acting so quickly out of fear, his heart stopped as he watched you stiffen in his own arm. You silently sat yourself up, his arms falling to the mattress as you turned to him with tears filling your eyes, your lips trembling as you tried to contain a sob.

Oh, how Jisung just wished the world would swallow him whole in that moment, his heart completely shattering at the sight of your crestfallen face. He looked into your watery eyes to only realize that this time, the reflection of your eyes showed the source of your sorrow, an expression he had wished he never had the misfortune to witness. 

“I… I’m sorry, I just-”

You shook your head, raising a hand to signal him to stop talking, refusing to take an explanation from him, “It’s okay. I was afraid this would happen.”

You forced a tightlipped smile, taking a deep breath through your nose as you tried to keep yourself together, faintly whispering a broken “Please don’t text or call me.”

Jisung shot up as he watched you get up from his bed, trying to scramble after you as you made your way to his front door, grabbing your belongings on the way. He didn’t realize how much he was already crying until he tried to speak to you, but it all came out in a blubbering sob. “Y/N, please, listen to me…” He begged you to listen to him, pleaded for you to try to understand where this was all coming from and to understand that he still loved you so much despite how selfish his actions are, yet you never gave him a chance.

“Jisung, please. I don’t care why, I don’t want to know,” you croaked between sobs, doing your best to maintain your composure as you faced the front door, refusing to look at him. “I just feel like an idiot. I should’ve listened to what people said about you.”

There you went, leaving his apartment and shutting the door in his face with force, leaving Jisung to confront nothing, but his own cowardice. 

Once again, Jisung fell into the trap of his own self-centered thinking, getting lost in his own immaturity as he became the victim of the circumstances he created. If he had only realized that he wasn't alone in this battle of his own conscience, if he had only realized you would've fought each insecurity and fear with him.

Oh, woe is me, Han Jisung. Only a fool would be afraid of love.

[mikaelsrose]

some thoughts and theories on abh so far

Both Raphael and Mikael's touch is said to be cold while David's is hot

If anyone has any theories about who the guys' superiors could be, please share because I have no idea.

I'm 1000% certain that the guys don't really live at the agency.

The mansion possessed a most unusual trait: if its residents weren't actively seeking you out, it was nearly impossible to find them yourself."

Moreover, I think MC was going somewhere and mentioned again that the house was empty.

"Our father went missing. I believe he's dead" - this actually makes me think the father they talk about isn't God.

This could be a red herring but the man who approaches MC at the club could be involved in the murder. His glassy eyes ("but he didn't look drunk") are definitely a hint and his hot-tempered personality make him very suspicious. "He looked around quiclkly," his outfit is rather out of place at this club, he's pushy and insistent. I found some info that glassy eyes could mean lifeless eyes and when you look at this dude, it's.......plausible (kinda kidding, kinda idk. He just looks suspicious)

I believe they all don't truly grasp the concept of emotions. Mikael doesn't really care about the clients + don't understand the concept of grief, David has no empaty for the deceased. Idk about Cas, and Raphael could be the one able to understand emotions (or he's just good at pretending and/or he feels the emotions his interlocutors do)

As for MC - I think the guys had sth to do with her patient going beserk and her ending up at Astrea. It's just a hunch, I don't have any proof, but they obviously need her for something, and I wouldn't be surprised if Mikael already knew she lost her medical licence.

Mikael:

Cheeky if you pay attention - even during the interview in ch 1 he laughs at MC's poor attempt of touching him under a really weak excuse (can't blame her though); "a playful spark flashed in his eyes," "sly smile" so he's not as stuck up as it looks at the first glance lol

Physically: a picture of Renaissance beauty, it is constantly stated he's very graceful and charismatic. MC also says he's very fit and has prominent muscles (which is surprising "for someone in his position); "stately figure"; statue chiseled out of marble".

He's Not a doctor, but yet heals. In ch. 4 he 1000% sucked the poison out of MC body, and I believe so not only because of what he says but also from the way his eyes look. He also says "I've never had a chance to heal mental wounds" which implies he's been healing for a long time.

David:

Could be far reaching and I formulate this theory mainly because I've been watching too much Supernatural lately, but I believe he's some type of a demon.

He's very confident and he "never loses" as a lawyer, so he's either very very good or able to influence people somehow.

MC obviously didn't end up in Astrea by accident, and she's the MC so she must be somehow special, so it makes me think David constantly calling her a witch isn't without a reason. Ch. 3: "don't admit to anyone in the village that you're a witch, either." Could be just a joke though.

Also the fact he was extremely friendly towards MC is suspicious, almost as if he tried to influence her to stay at all cost.

"It's impossible to get enough of me"

After the murder: "he's like a doctor who has seen death so many times that he hardly feels it anymore"

We learn his father lost his mind because he sold his soul. I've yet to come to any conclusions on this ngl.

Raphael:

I think he takes people's emotions onto himself and makes emotions come to the surface in people. Ch. 3: "Raphael approched the man, and the man's eyes filled with tears."

General:

Felonia emphasising that the guys treat MC differently, kindly and friendly. During the meeting in chapter 3, Mikael is cold and impartial when he talks to Fel

David: "You're so hash, Mikael"

"Only constant effort can attract his attention and make him believe that you deserve another chance" so the question is - who's he?

Felonia: "They're not villains, but they're not exactly heroes either. They have a mission and will go to any lengths necessary to complete it"

Mikael knows about the nightmares MC has and the dream we saw at the beginning of the book is definitely an answer to one of the big mysteries of the book, imo we'll learn what it means at the end of season 1 and it'll be the first supernatural thing we witness (although I'm not entirely sure because of how the last chapter ended)

Mikael: "Everyone's terribly worried about you" - why? They're not that close. They're worried because she's crucial to their plan.

My take is that Raph and Mikael are (arch)angels. Possibly fallen angels or at least angels who fucked up and are being punished. I'm not sure about Raphael, but if Mikael is the Angel Michael then he's the God's commander - his strict, controlled character, the fact he's the director of the agency then it kind of makes sense he;s so harsh to Felonia who seems to have seriously fucked up? He doesn't like disobedience.

Quora (don't judge me lol): "His power is believed to come from his closeness to God and his unwavering commitment to righteousness and the defeat of evil."

"The sword and shield are used today to represent a cutting of cords or energies that no longer serve and protecting us from harm. Michael can help in healing and repairing our energies where trauma, grief, past lives or karmic debts are holding us back from our true potential in this life. He will then work with Archangel Raphael to replace the negative energy, emotions, worries, doubts, physical ailments with positive vibrations. Michael will cleanse your entire being both the physical and spiritual."

@agattthaa mentioned that God is kind only to humans, he's not a good father to angels because he isn't present or forgiving to them; God forgives humans, but when angels make mistakes they fall from grace. Just a food for thought.

I'm curious about others' thoughts and theories. I just wanted to put all this together to sort it in my head as well.

Tagging @raleigh-edward 🫧

[morbid-lycoris]

Reasons I hate "Mental health" tiktok

(keep in mind that these things are what I personally saw on tiktok and not everybody might have these experiences)

Self-diagnosing, tbh I am not a fan of self diagnosis, especially with complex disorders. I understand that not everybody has access to a diagnosis, but if you can't get a diagnosis, you probably can't afford treatment, and misdiagnosis can be very harmful.

Framing mental illnesses, especially ASPD as edgy and cool, I was told by doctors that I have traits of ASPD, but it's most likely my BPD, and I most likely don't have it. But I do understand that your average ASPD person isn't a serial killer with 0 emotions. And having ASPD doesn't make you cooler or less cooler.

Framing NPD or ASPD as inherintly bad, on the other side of the spectrum, everybody acts as if especially Narcissists are ALWAYS abusive, of course there will be narcissists who won't be good people, but every single group of people has that.

These "10 signs you have [Insert disorder] 😍😍😍" videos. They mostly have generic af symptoms, and most people will relate to like half of them. It's obviously just a very bad concept.

Fake-claiming, while there are people on tiktok who have been caught faking disorders, unless there is literal proof that they are faking it, its stupid to call them a faker. I see this, especially in DID spaces, where there are probably a few fakers, but that doesn't mean everyone is, and claiming that they are faking it, just because you feel like it, is dumb. Especially the people on r/fakedisordercringe on reddit.

Romanticizing psychwards, I don't know if that is still a thing, but it definitely was back in 2020/2021. And I was in different psychwards multiple times since I've been eleven. Sometimes, it was a very bad experience, one time I made friends, that I still have to this day and we had a lot of fun moments. But a psychward is not a fun holiday, and sometimes can be kind of traumatic even.

The "Mental health positivity" now this one is more of a me-problem I have to admit, but I recently saw a post where someone listed some things that make her "happy to have bpd" and like these things might have had to do with her bpd, but they definitly weren't symptoms, so idk how she is so confident in that these things have to do with her disorder. And as I read all of the things, none of them applied to me at all, which made me feel worse, also I never thought of my bpd as something positive because my life would probably suck way less without it.

The fetishization, I don't think I have to explain what's wrong with saying stuff like "I want a gf/bf with bpd 💖". Although I haven't seen this one as often luckily.

[688199]

i will, don’t test me thomas doodooballs. my hatred for you triumphs everything 🔥🔥🔥 once i familiarise myself with mlb (🤮) i will maybe write a test script for an episode.

thomas and his writing team is proof that just because you have a job in something doesn’t mean you’re good at it.

huge rant and ramble:

as an avid enjoyer of story telling, i strongly despise everyone behind the writing of mlb.

firstly, marinette is supposed to have bad luck through her ditziness. i watched a few episodes, and her “bad luck” seems to just be with anything regarding adrien? it’s actually just more of her being obsessive and leading to stupid mistakes. on the other hand, bridgette obviously has bad luck. getting drenched, burning her tongue, yet she smiles through it. THIS IS POTENTIAL FOR BRIDGETTE’S CHARACTER. marinette’s character has never been properly explained. why is she this way? why is she different as ladybug? (honestly is she even different? kinda, but it’s not obvious) we sure do know why adrien is more carefree as chat noir. but not marinette. on the other hand, the set up for bridgette’s character can lead to so many plot possibilities. why is she so optimistic? is it because it’s what is expected of her? is she purposefully dense? when she gets drenched by the car, she pauses for a short while looking solemn, then smiles. but that smile looks pained almost. like she’s sick of acting that way. (yes i know i’m looking too much into a pv but that’s the point. i’m saying why the pv has potential.) therefore, as ladybug, she can be herself. someone who does whatever she wants, going ahead without thought, being the person she cannot be. anyways, why the hell is marinette even in love with adrien anyways. he just gave her a god damn umbrella or smth idk. i believe my baby bridgette loves felix because she truly sees his soft side. it may be cliche but it sure is a better reason than an umbrella.

secondly, felix. thomas and his team said he was too much like a cliche male anime protagonist, and adrien would let them tell more interesting stories. i mean sure, but it’s most ironic how they even FAILED AT THAT. i rather a cliche male anime protagonist than bitch boy adrien who is as bland as cardboard. felix being cold to those around him is very reasonable because as a model, he’s used to people only liking him for looks and his money. he thinks that bridgette only likes him for those reasons, so he pushes her away. but as chat noir, felix, like bridgette, is able to be someone he truly feels. unrestrained by societal pressures. EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE BOTH POLAR OPPOSITES, ONE BEING COLD WHILE THE OTHER IS TOO WARM, THEY SUFFER FROM THE SAME ISSUES DEEP DOWN. AS HEROES THEY ARE THEMSELVES. ISNT THIS COOL????? ISNT THIS A GOOD STORYTELLING POINT?????????? then even though he needs to kiss ladybug to break the curse, he soon falls in love with her because he admires her boldness, which is something he lacks when he’s himself. he doesn’t have the courage to stand up against his father. i think mlb chat noir likes ladybug for similar reasons but i don’t remember it being connected like that. (never watched the entire 100+ episodes, only bits and pieces, and read up other stuff so might be wrong.)

i believe his team is just straight lazy. they watered down the relationships and characters to the point that dynamic contrast is just not as powerful as before. in early preproduction art, the concept shown is supposed to revolve heavily around the idea of opposites. marinette is now just an obsessive stalker and adrien takes it. chat noir flirts with ladybug and she takes it. where’s the rejection from the opposite party??? where’s the oomph?? where’s the spice???

i do enjoy the concept of them letting go of their crushes. but i didn’t like how it was done in the series. it’s as if the writers don’t fucking know the hell they’re going. felix struggles with understanding whether he truly loves bridgette or is it because of the effects of the ring’s curse. does he really want the curse to be gone? while it gives him bad luck, he gets to be himself. what does he truly want? for bridgette, she realises that she is bothering felix too much. wanting the best for him and for her to focus on being ladybug, she learns to leave him in the past for both their good. she also suffers with the weight of being the main heroine. even though she uses her identity as ladybug to be free of expectations and responsibilities, yet it’s coming back to haunt her so she starts to feel stress. while chat noir and bridgette backs away, felix and ladybug realise that they miss the other’s company since the other was always there for them when they needed it the most. the way this was written in mlb was awfully horrible.

look at what i can do thomas astruc, look at the potential. “their chemistry sucks it’ll never work” SUCK MY BALLS WHAT BULLSHIT IS THAT.

anyways, other than the obvious reason as to why the animation is a lot more visually striking and can express more things the cgi can’t (dynamic movement, special effects, etc) (funny enough, the people behind mlb said the cgi made the show more dynamic???), this is why the pv has much more potential and i will never stop believing that.

(also why didn’t the cgi ever put in effort to make ladybug and chat noir look different than their normal selves. it’s the biggest fucking plot hole that never attempts to change. even the pv tries to make bridgette’s hair change.) (sorry for low quality but see, her hair is more messy too.)

thomas astruc and zag you’re just lazy money grabbing bastards 🗣️ i stand by that. if you’re truly passionate about what you want to do (which i believe you guys were until you weren’t), you wouldn’t have sacrificed quality for money.

“the concept of the original show dealt with political themes geared towards teens and young adults but it failed to gain traction with networks so it retooled for a younger audience.” other than the team failing to realise that “cliche” doesn’t automatically mean bad, the other huge fault is that they think children are stupid and can’t handle heavier themes. look at bluey, look at all the series out there with a relatively large children audience which also deal with such stuff. it’s not impossible, it just needs exceptional writing skills. but what can i expect from a team like that.

sorry not sorry, i’m pretty mad. i have a lot of other complaints but i already spent 2h writing this. down with thomas astruc!!!!! all hail ladybug pv!!!!!!

[ponett]

Have you ever watched that one feature-length Mega Man fan film? I think it might've been the same people that did the Sonic short film?

i actually watched it like right after it premiered on screwattack back in the day, having rewatched the original proof of concept video a bunch of times on youtube. i was genuinely hyped for it

i haven't rewatched it since then so i couldn't give in-depth thoughts on it, but it was... okay? not crazy about the costume design, and i remember it spending a very long time on the setup and then rushing through all the robot master fights at the end because it was easier for them to do dialogue scenes in a house than to do cgi fight scenes. i also remember not being particularly impressed with the acting, but thinking that the guy who played wily stood out. but idk. for a no-budget fan film it was a good effort

[space-blue]

Alien thoughts and concepts.

Alien movie concept: Highly intelligent, well trained, low drama professionals in an alien movie. They take all the precautions, don't trigger any of the easier things like black goo dust or mega sus eggs. They scan everything, use robots, have good protocols in place to work with their android, etc.

Maybe the focus could be over the relationship between the synthetics and the humans, since the topic seems so dear to the franchsie, with the alien serving as a stress point that changes the dynamic and forces people to the edge of their humanity.

And I think we can still get gore and screaming and messy deaths, but pros simply wouldn't make a mistake like snorting the local fauna on a cigarette break.

You know, maybe it's a military advance crew here to establish the first base around David's new colony. And unbeknownst to them, and almost everyone in the colony, he's been running his little fucked up experiments for decades, and the newcomers are fresh blood to test his babies on, meaning they're dealing with forceful invasion?

IDK man. I'm 4 films into the alien franchise and a liiiiiittle weeee bit tired of the "people goof while exploring and chaos ensues on spaceship" concept. Alien Romulus and Alien stand out, but I'd love to see a more in depth, slow paced, unsettling horror play out. Less about packing as many chestbursters in as possible and more about the cosmic horror of having found some sort of hostile limiter.

I'm especially bummed when humans see explicit proof of intelligent alien life and go 'mmmmm'okay.' like come on, this isn't Star Wars. In Covenant the *religious* dude had nothing to say about the ancient ruins they took refuge in, clearly created by a fully humanoid species? REALLY?

Say, give me a story about a 5 people, 3 humans, 2 synthetics, operating a small space relay. They're like lighthouse keepers in space, and all the quadrant's news goes through them.

And tensions climb as more and more colonies in a nearby systems go dark. Distress signals start singing through the radio, but due to the distance, it's already too late to help. And the problem seems to be spreading.

And then a refugee ship pings them. It's on their way, and needs an emergency stop because they aren't kitted out for long distances.

They have no reason not to help them, but they will be cold blooded and professional about this. The synthetics will go in as they can't catch any illness.

Maybe we can deal with aliens who have learned to be sneaky. Who don't take the more brutal and animalistic approach only. Like imagine the horror if one of them cut themselves on purpose to vent a segment of the ship? Imagine if they showed more of a willingness to stalk and ambush?

[daenystheedreamer]

what are your thoughts on the seven? Like, what are we to make of them as deities?

just reread the series, and on first pass (tho i plan to go back searching for this) it seems like the seven come off as... less Tangible than the Old Gods/R'hllor. like melisandre births shadow assassins. bloodraven Exists. clearly there's something to these gods. maybe not what their worshipper's think, but like. a Power, for sure.

By contrast, the seven seem to exist solely in the minds of those who believe in them. Trials by combat seem to be 50/50. Tyrion win's Lysa's but loses Cersei's. the faith of the seven are notoriously corrupt, and after the sparrow's takeover, is going full-tilt crazy fundamentalist.

Yet these gods bring a great deal of comfort to the characters who believe in them. And I can't help but think about Septon Meribald, wandering the war-torn riverlands barefoot to give out oranges and flour and alms to those in need. That kind of religious-charity seems to be exclusive to the seven.

So given all this... idk, what's their deal? Are they "gods as a reflection of humanity"? "gods as a reflection of society"? I feel like "they were always 100% fake and anyone who ever prayed to them was praying to nothing" is a little too grimdark for grrm, but idk!

Sorry for the long ask jfjsjjd

i am not a good meta poster or essayist so my apologies for what will surely be a poor answer 😭 so introduction. grrm is lapsed catholic and the seven is like soo barely removed from catholicism. also rhllor/old gods doing things in text doesnt necessarily make them, the gods, real. the magic is certainly real but that doesnt mean the gods themselves are real. and so that goes into the whole Do the gods of planetos actually exist at all. so the faith isnt actually alone in having the Are the gods real? question

the faith is based on faith right, belief without necessarily having proof. it's pretty unique actually for that. the old gods have weirwoods and dreams, rhllor has shadowbinding, but the faith doesnt even have martyrdom/saints/incorruptibility/miracles/etc. its purely a social function; hierarchy, laws, morality and life-after-death existentialism.

i think this is what grrm is exploring, another brick in the wall of Society. like how is religion used as a hammer for hierarchy and how does it interact with power, with patriarchy, with classism. yes, the faith descends into fundamentalism but its also one of the only ways the peasant class can organise and attack the establishment. its social mobility in a way they cant otherwise access.

so i guess in all my rambling, i'd agree with the assessment that its 'gods as a reflection of society/humanity'. i dont think the fact that theyre 100% fake is bleak, really. i think all religions are fake irl but that doesnt take away from the beauty and love and joy they can bring to people. for every cruel septa/on, there's a meribald who brings peace and forgiveness.

idk again i am not a good meta poster i cant pull out quotes for shit 😭 but i remember the moments of jaime earnestly praying. and you look at melisandre who uses her faith in rhllor as a desperate attempt to justify her own sense of self, her suffering, her actions. its similar in a way to the faith. melisandre's total belief in rhllor, no matter how delusional, is just as important as if rhllor himself actually existed.

so to summarise, the meaning we gain from metaphysical concepts can be just as important as the perceived power of the metaphysical concept itself. idk im sure im making a mess of the philosphical idealism vs materialism plus i am making no sense and making no actual points but i hope this communicates my personal interpretation of the faith of the seven!

[woodsfae]

B5 s03e13 A Late Delivery From Avalon table of contents - previous episode

B5 has money problems now that they're semi-independent from Earth. They should consider bringing back the merchandising. :P

Interesting dream sequence. Vision? I suspect we'll find out who this dream having person is in this episode. If he's been introduced already in the show, I can't recall it.

Oh. OH! I'm here for Marcus being friends with Dr Franklin. They seem sweet together. idk what it is about these actors in this show, but their emotions absolutely radiate sincerity.

Ah, the dude having a vision claims that he's King Arthur! If we're about to dip into the high fantasy side of B5 then we're in for a good time. What a hilarious concept, though - King Arthur in space!!

Hm, Marcus is very good with King Arthur. Who speaks perfect modern english and is 1700 years out of time and place. It could have been the Vorlons like with Jack the Ripper, but he knew where he came from and had a reason to be speaking modern English - the Vorlons kept him educated.

Arthur escaped the medical bay and went straight for the saddest, oldest lady in the Down Below. I'm inclined to like him! And to think that he is, somehow, Arthur, even if only in spirit.

G'Kar is so awesome. See someone kicking the shit out of assholes, join in when asshole reinforcements join up. One of King Arthur's new 23rd century knights? And he is! G'Kar is so socially intelligent and so charming. What a great duo they are: King Arthur and Sir G'Kar the Red Knight!

Dang, mental note: make a gif of G'Kar standing up then passing the fuck out. That was funny as hell. Also, I appreciate that Arthur said Gawain used to do that, because I had thought to myself that G'Kar could be the 23rd century Gawain!

Dr Franklin found Arthur's dna match in an Earthforce soldier! And he doesn't recognize a photo of himself. He was at the Battle of the Line, got a medal for valor, and was honorably discharged. But he was on the first ship to encounter the Minbari, the Prometheus. The one that started the war with Minbar, and by the cut of the flashback, Arthur was the person manning the gun who fired on the ship. And then fought in the war all the way through, survived a suicide mission and was discharged.

This begs the question: where did he get the armor and sword? Was he coincidentally a really big Arthuriana buff or did he have to study up?

Marcus was right: confronting him with the information did great harm. And also, Dr Franklin isn't a psychologist. I'm pretty sure that wasn't best practice for such a sensitive topic. And now King Arthur is catatonic! But we need him more than ever in these divided times. :(

G'Kar as Gawain, Dr Franklin as Bedivere, and Delenn as the Lady of the Lake. That's pretty beautiful, actually. Which knight does Marcus get to be? He seems like a Galahad to me.

This is more proof of my Delenn-as-a-telepath theory. She's just involved in so much telepathic and mystical shit, it seems like she must have at least some low level skills.

I can't take any joy in Garibaldi fucking with people when he's such a dick in the first place. He's just a petty asshole who's nice to the people he likes. And that's not the type of person I get along with.

I fully support King Arthur joining the Narnuan resistance. Seems like a place he'll thrive, whether or not he can remember his Earthforce memories very well.

ngl I think he is Arthur. Reincarnated, maybe.

Bester is back in the next!

[our-lesbian-experience]

hey so I’m considering (and honestly, quite scared by…) the concept that I might be a lesbian. which is even kinda weird to type out lol. but one thing I keep thinking is that like…..idk, I can’t help but feel like I wouldn’t consider it if I weren’t born today. if I didn’t know queer people and learn about queer experiences from the internet. Like it wouldn’t occur to me that I could maybe like girls. At first I thought if I do like girls I’d like them and know that I like them regardless of when I was born, so that (if true) is proof that I don’t. But I also remember thinking that if I did like girls, I should have figured it out by now (I’m recently 16), and I’ve since read that that isn’t a good reason to decide you’re not gay and that it can take a really long time for some people to figure it out and that’s valid, so I thought maybe this is just in the same vein. I was kinda just wanting some feedback on it? Like…thoughts? thank you lol ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🩷

You are so so so valid and you can definitely be a lesbian! Plenty of women don't find out they're gay until they're 50+! Comphet sucks ass sometimes. If you haven't already, definitely check out the Lesbian Masterdoc, it was very helpful to me while i was trying to figure out if I was bi or a lesbian

I understand that idea of "if i weren't born in this era i don't think i'd be queer", it makes sense. Your identity would stay the same, but you wouldn't know. If you are dealing with comphet, it's likely that in a time when everyone considered queerness inhuman, inherently bad, etc. you'd assume you couldn't possibly be queer. If I were born in a different time I wouldn't have ever considered that i wasn't a 100% cis girl. That doesn't make you any less valid

Good luck on your self discovery journey <3

[gemwolfz]

since i am not sure if or when i will ever get back to that coming out day posting i will instead post full platoon headcanons here 🔥🔥🔥 under a cut because i intend to maintag and some people may not give a shit. also i expect to ramble. appending a big "to me, anyway" to all these because if i said that fifty times in the post it would be repetitive

keroro's gender is most accurately described as multiflux! he identifies with multiple genders at the same time- male, female, keronian genders you wouldn't get, exclusive genders only keroro understands- at different intensities at different moments. he mainly uses he/him, because, like, he's employed, but he appreciates being referred to in less masculine ways every now and then. because he's kind of a pretty girl ngl. he's also pansexual (i don't personally make a distinction between bi and pan, and usually default to the term bisexual, but idk keroro seems like someone who would label himself as pan dont ask me why) with a preference towards men. hey i can add nonqueer headcanons here too cant i. his ass has so much ADHD. also i posted yesterday that his behavior closely fits the description of narcissistic personality disorder HOWEVER thats a condition i dont know much about so im hesitant to decisively headcanon it for him yknow

tamama is bisexual (personally i have not witnessed proof of tamama caring about girls but the wiki is so confident about it that. well bi erasure would be bi erasure. we aint about that here 🫡) and also transgender 🔥 he's in the keronian version of the Awkward Transmasc Phase where if you're not read as a woman youre usually read as a middle schooler, and used to be more self-conscious about it, but since he's transitioned socially- he's tamama-kun within the platoon, and most pekoponians are completely unaware he was ever seen as a girl to begin with- he's quite happy with where he is now! anyway you know how i mentioned in one doodle post that i hc that fully metamorphosed female keronians are larger than males? well, being a bit of a brawler, tamama isn't really opposed to that concept, so although at his age Frog HRT would most likely trigger metamorphosis, he'd prefer to wait and metamorphose naturally before Starting Tesfrogsterone. best of both worlds! this trans frog is gnc and theres nothing you can do about it 🔥🔥🔥

giroro is bisexual. that's all he would have answered with in the coming out day posts because if youre cisgender whats the point in mentioning your gender right? anyone can tell he's a guy. look at that sharp, angry-looking brow, that big, gnarly scar, those monstrous fangs. those could only be appreciated on a man. and that's good, right? a soldier should be tough and intimidating. he's perfect. he should be proud. he says he is. so why is he so tired...? he shakes his head, and goes back to cleaning his arsenal. he's just frustrated that the invasion isn't going anywhere, that's all. really. Sorry i think i got possessed where was i. um i think giroro can also have little a autism as a treat

kululu is aroace, with no particular interest in seeking either of those types of relationships, romance averse but neutral towards sex. and he's apagender: he doesn't particularly care what gender people see him as. he does have his quirks- he enjoys presenting himself as girly every now and then, and is quite amused by being referred to as an "it" on occasion- but he considers these things more of a hobby or performance art than parts of his gender. just a bit of seasoning, some excitement. never let them know your next move. anyway hes also audhd (adhd autism combo pack). his headphones are noise cancelling, without them he will hear all his computers and the lights and the air conditioning and he will become the joker. i've also considered giving him Unique Alien Chronic Pain- i've got this kind of jokey headcanon where he secretes capsaicin due to his diet, sort of like a poison dart frog, and i thought an interesting consequence of that would be if that caused a constant burning feeling on his skin- but like idk if that would be a good idea? chronic pain is also not something i know much about

dororo is male, for all intents and purposes, but he doesn't care much about the label. he doesn't really believe in the gender binary these days, which is something he learned from living with koyuki; binary gender doesn't really exist in nature. he doesn't label his orientation, either, but for different reasons: being a professional assassin with a strict regiment doesn't really give a person much opportunity to explore in that area. he was never really in the dating scene, and doesn't expect to be thrown into it any time soon. if your relationship with the most loyal and taskfocused soldier you know is holding strong after you choose to defect from your planet and protect the one he's trying to invade, it's hard to imagine anything that could possibly break it down, you know?

i feel like this should have some kind of conclusion or something instead of just ending but idk lol. you get bonus headcanon which is that fuyuki is transmasc swag to me. aaand post

[broken-clover]

🍓🔪🍬🦴🥤 :D

Wheeeee

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

Tbh you think I'd remember but I really don't. I have vague memories of making Pokemon OC's but wasn't really introduced to the concept of fanfiction until my older sister got me into Hetalia and I found out about it while looking up fanart. I think I've discusses it before, though, that I didn't feel confident writing full-on fanfic for the longest time because I was too terrified about writing characters OOC. Idk what exactly made me get over it, maybe GG just instilled enough brainrot I couldn't help it

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

See I dunno about 'weird' but I've done a lot of random shit I never thought would be relevant until I had to go look for it. Hard to objectively say what was the oddest so I'm just gonna make a list of some off the top of my head

-(I've repurposed a surprising amount of my learnings from mortuary for anatomical and medical reference)

-Giraffe/horse autopsy

-Introductory guides to Jamaican Patois

-"Can bats get polio"

-"Common clothing of Nepal"/"Common clothing of Tibet" (notable in that it ended up being relevant for half a paragraph)

-"Cheeses of Bhutan"

-"What is the highest proof alcohol you are legally allowed to buy"

-Profanities of numerous languages, including sign

-"How old are children before they can pronounce 'x'"

-Brazilian cryptids

-"least flammable bed fabrics"

-Treatment and recovery time of a PCL tear

-Step by step guides for kimono-wearing

-Bone throwing as a form of divination

-Adult clubfoot treatments

-"what type of video is security camera footage"

-"autoimmune diseases caused by stress"

-psychogenic stuttering

-how to replace/modify a clutch disk for a stick shift

-French homicide law

-Pyretic drugs

-LOTS of fish biology

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

Probably in part due to oversaturation, but Bridget is just...kinda boring. I find her concept and story endearing and sympathetic, of course, but she doesn't have the same kind of complicated themes and bizarre lore that engages me like a lot of the series' other characters to the point where I can delve into it and get on that level of brainrot.

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing? 

Can't simply say 'a.' I feel like I take a lot of bits from a lot of different stuff! I find I like to try and find 'weird' media frequently, though, I like seeing the bizarre concepts people can cook up and wonder if I'm not thinking outside the box hard enough. Likewise for horror, to a lesser extent

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

hweeeehhhh why do you always give me the tough ones. There's some really obvious picks, you and Jim and Roy and Crow, but I've probably done you all like three times already! Easy picks

Lemme see, if I wanna try and do something a little different than the obvious, I do have a couple recs! For anyone that's into Psychonauts, I totally recommend BabyCharmander (ESPECIALLY 'Cavity,' do not read anything else before you go into it, reading it for the first time hits you like a truck to the face) and The_Angst_Alchemist (Particularly if you're a Thorney Towers fan, they write the inmates with such panache and easily some of the best interpretations of Fred) It's a little more niche, but if you're an ARMS fan I recommend anything by MeltyMetroid, for a series that has such little lore they've written several incredibly fleshed out and well-constructed longfics (I'd recommend 'DisARMed' and 'Broken Mirror' for the plot-heavy jaunts and 'The Brass that Saved Christmas' if you want a good laugh)

Admittedly in general I don't pay as much attention to specific writers as I should, or the series I look for stuff for is so niche it doesn't really have dedicated writers

[nova-they-exist-yup]

Uhhh idk I think tumblr may have eated my last ask. So I'm resending.

Anyways, you mentioned how Roman had his opinion of Mind being influenced by Heart. What are the other four sides' perceptions of Heart do you think? What effects does his... behaviour have on them?

Also Soul and Mind probably either don't trust Patton or think he's way nicer than Heart lol. Soul wants to protect him in a potentially self-destructive way since he's someone else's feelings by asking him to leave them all alone, whilst Mind might respect him more cos he's known as morality. Those are my thoughts at least. Do you have any?

I feel bad for not replying to this one even tho it’s a resend so I’m gonna answer some of the additional questions here too-

Tbh you do make a good point, Mind probably would respect him more because he’s Morality, but the resemblance of his role and Heart’s just triggers something in Mind.

Which also does remind me…

When I first made this AU, I thought it’d be neat that Logan would be a robot. (I put this into my design for him but I may or may not scrap it, we’ll see.) I also headcanon that Mind has mechanical prosthetic hands, and his voice modulator is also machinery. You know what that means????

Yup that’s right Mind’s jealous!!! He thinks he should be more robotic, considering that he’s a broader concept that Logan and he’s a robot. Besides, his whole insecurity of needing to be more synthetic is just dksgdjdbsjdhsjdh. It’s part of my interpretation of him that I love and you cannot stop me from including this in the AU.

Now to your first additional question:

Also, on a scale from the most to least convinced of Heart’s manipulation, it goes: Roman, Patton, Logan, Virgil, Remus, Janus. I put Roman at the top because he does NOT trust Janus at all, who is the main one who is saying that he’s manipulating everyone. Patton views him as a son, and he trusts what people say, but yet again, he does trust Janus. Logan is below him because I feel he does notice the signs of manipulation, but he doesn’t think it’ll have any lasting consequences. Virgil is next because he was already anxious meeting Heart, and then being given proof of him being not as good as he seems threw him off. He does think Heart can change though (or at least hopes). Remus is next because he trusts Janus a lot, and he’s close with Soul who knows for a fact that Heart lies and manipulates. So he’s like “ah. I see. Welp time to give him a beating” and then comes up with cruel pranks bc he thinks Heart deserves them. Janus catches up to all the manipulation, being Deceit and all. And he also has a good enough relationship with Soul to know about Heart’s tendency to manipulate. AND he’s also close enough with Mind to get a view from his perspective, as Heart’s enemy.

When/If Heart has an outburst like he did in RoE, then shit would go DOWN.

Firstly, Logan, Virgil, Remus, and Janus would have their suspicions proved and would trust him far less than before. Logan and Virgil would still have hope, but Remus and Janus would not. Roman would have an “Are we the bad guys?” moment while Patton freaks out and lies to himself to convince himself that Heart is more than that, and that he is truly good. This would also cause Janus and Patton to argue, with Janus telling Patton to admit the facts and Patton telling Janus that Heart is more than a man who hurts people. Patton’s relationship with Mind would falter more as well.

So… yeah. Thanks for all the questions!

[syscourse-confessions]

I am so tired of law-abiding fools.

They claim that you can't tell someone's being a smartass based on vibes alone, they might actually be trying to make a real argument! They might really be telling the truth, and without concrete proof you can't say otherwise!

Burden of proof is on the guy wearing the smirk, I'm not sorry

Let me explain. Someone in here recently disavowed the concept of bad-faith arguments, specifically the thought that you might be able to tell whether they're making one without knowing them and being inside their head.

Throwback to several years ago, when I ran up against someone telling me they don't think my disorder is real. I'm like. I'm not dealing with this. They want to paint me as crazy so that nobody takes my criticism seriously, everybody will eat it up because the change I want is inconvenient, and the staff will obviously be like :thumbsup: all the while being like. "You just got mad, deal with it B)" (this was about an IEP in school btw, in case you're curious.)

Bad-faith arguments have an unscholarly purpose. To make you just give up because arguing with them is exhausting. And it works because people take them seriously, bro. People take mister "I dont trust the medicine people" seriously. IDK what the anon was specifically talking about, but the concept of bad-faith arguments should be taken seriously. It's a valid observation to make of somebody else's argument, and they can make counter points to your observation if they want. If the guy was like, I dunno anything about it! Once I pointed out the bad-faithness, I could educate him and he could learn. But that isn't what happened. It's just emotional denial with zero curiosity. "No!! Now listen to me instead of ignoring me!!" they say. And then you listen, and that's when they win. (in this instance I just got accomodations for symptoms of general ptsd, which wasn't enough so I dropped out)

When people with shitty ideas pretend to be good-willed, we feel obligated to give them a platform as a free-thinking, curious, trusting society. Daily IRL life (offline) depends on trusting people to be decent. When people with shitty ideas present themselves as Just Asking Questions And Being Curious Except When You Try To Educate Me I Yell At You, the audience (at BEST) reacts with "oh well I guess since this person who Knows about this is arguing with him, I guess he's worth arguing with! I guess this topic is still up for debate!" And you can SEE the issue with that.

Support people who just don't take obvious shit. Support people who call out some Bullshit, pls. Pretending you have to treat everyone as equally unmalicious is dangerous, and that's coming from a trans guy who was accused of mail tampering at age 11. Be less trusting of OBVIOUS bs, and if someone's like "this is an obvious bad-faith argument" don't go "you don't know that! what if they're well-meaning? You can't see in their head!" it's literally All these types of people want. I don't care what it's about. This happens with every single issue. Hotdogs a sandwich. This is pedantics. We're talking about food safety cause your restaurant is breaking the food safety guidelines, we aren't going to discuss whether a hotdog counts as a sandwich. That type of shit. It's everywhere. "I want a lwayer, dog" "Oh but he might've meant he wanted a dog who was a lawyer! I didn't know he was calling Me dog!" you know. Hope this isn't too harsh, I don't hold any bad feelings towards this one anon, I just really hate seeing actual angels in my life fall into the trap of trusting professional bullshitters :/ Replies encouraged, because obviously since this is a reply to someone I'd be an ass to not welcome a response LOL

📬- Syscourse replies encouraged