#time to crash

[newchainssameshackles]

when you're driving your car alone in august and that one citizen song comes on 👀

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

[shellshooked]

but i’m a creep

[talentforlying]

real honk shoo mimimi hours.

[littlecarnet]

Just got back from celebrating my great aunt's 100th birthday. We went out to eat at her favorite restaurant, a little Mediterranean place with lots of outdoor seating. She typically eats outside at home too, I think she just enjoys watching the world go by, and boy has she seen the world change. It's always interesting getting her pov about it. Some things I can definitely relate.

- She does love that people are much more open about their health, emotionally, mentally, and physically. In her time it was a private matter not discussed beyond a doctor's office or within a tight social circle. She feels that it's made people more sympathetic to each other. While she has no health issues besides being deaf on her left ear, she's happy people can stop feeling ashamed of health troubles. I told her stigmas are still around but things are getting better. Especially with the youth pushing for more awareness and compassion.

---

- She sadly admits that the feeling of being left behind never gets better with age. She's outlived everyone she's loved besides her descendants. But her previous 6 husbands, 5 of her own children, her friends...they're all gone. Often by decades. She lost her best friend when she was 50, and then multiple people she knew began to pass away before their 70s. This has resulted in her growing numb to death, but she doesn't like it. She says she rather sob like a child for days, then to feel nothing at all. She says she now better understands her grandmother, who lived to be 103. She understands why the poor woman became a recluse.

----

I didn't bring up that I'm pretty much a recluse already. I've never had luck with friends sticking around, so I'm already desensitized to being left alone.

As usual, we stayed a good four hours talking over iced mint tea and rose halva, but around midway she was getting tired. She sleeps really early, around 8pm, and we headed out into the front yard with her daughter to catch up. We said our goodbyes, promising to come back one more time tomorrow, and went back to the hotel to go rest, and just in time because there was an event with fireworks going off, and we could see them pretty well from our upstairs room.

We had a nice dinner with delicious sides of salads, dolma, avgolemono, a big plate of flaky spanakopita, and chicken lemon rice. For dessert we all got various flavors of Italian soda. My favorite has always been rose and elderberry. I blame her. She used to make me this as a kid. She loves anything with rose water in it, and now so do I. She says roses are the secret to her soft skin. I believe it.

The next day we went to the forest with the intention of having a picnic, but it rained, so we ate in the car. But it was still nice because you just can't beat that fresh, cool smell of pines and rain. Later we went to ABQ to go shop a bit but it was so crowded everywhere and we couldn't find good parking. It was also hot. We decided to go into a museum and mooch off the A/C as we enjoyed learning some local history. Went back to my great aunt's, spent some more time with her, was given a bunch of baklava to take home, and off we went.

I'll be visiting her again, possibly in September, before the first winter snow at least. Any later than that and it's almost impossible to go up the mountain roads. Like me, she lives rural too, and rarely comes down the mountain to the village. I wonder if it's some bizarre genetic thing for my family to live apart from the rest of the world like this.

[mcyt-cats]

Flick has made several apperances in Jimmy's Just Dance stream!

ft. "dad what are you doing?"

and "this is too weird, let me out"

[stevenrogered]

When this quest is done, can you maybe swing back here and try to get me out of this thing? You think you had to ask? Just making sure.

[robinfrinjs]

Abbi Pulling became the first female race winner in British F4 today

📸: Alice Powell

[critai]

4321

[delicatefury]

Look. I have literally no horse in this race when it comes to the WGA/SAG Hollywood strike. I do not watch enough TV or movies to be affected and I’m not a part of the industry. I really haven’t cared.

As a lawyer and orchardist, however, I am now utterly entranced by the fact that some Universal Studios exec thought it was a good idea to cut down city-owned trees in the middle of summer.

There is no way to get around the absolute clusterfuck they have brought down upon themselves.

First, the ownership question. These trees are not owned by Universal. They’re the City of Los Angeles’ trees. That means the responsibility, and the right, to maintain them belongs to the city government. If you want to touch city property like that, you better have their permission. If not, you’re looking at anything from fines, to replacement/maintenance costs, to jail time.

Now, I don’t know LA, and I’m not licensed in California, but a lot of cities also require permits for any massive trimming like that that can affect public property (like the roads and sidewalks).

Second, they have zero excuses that can even remotely minimize the trouble they’re in. Anything that justifies that kind of pruning at this time of year would have likely required the full removal and destruction of the trees.

Because that level of pruning? You don’t do that in summer. You absolutely do not do that in summer unless the trees are dying or infested with something. Why? Because summer is healthy growth time. Summer is when your trees need all the energy they can get so they can grow and strengthen their branches and roots.

It’s also when they’re susceptible to diseases. Various bacteria, fungi, and insects strike during the summer and can cause severe damage. By trimming those trees so severely, not only are there a ton of gapping wounds for diseases to enter the tree, they’re now stressed by trying to replace that lost growth, which makes it even harder for them to survive any further damage.

Basically, Universal Studios might end up accidentally killing the trees. Which will make everything so much worse.

So, yeah. Now I’m invested.

[ionomycin]

The wizard and the dark knight

[celaenaeiln]

Jason: *barging into the cave* What the hell are you doing?! The little brat said Dick’s been kidnapped, so why are you just sitting here?!

Tim: *taking a slow sip of coffee* he hasn’t been kidnapped.

Jason: What do you mean? Where is he then?

Tim: He’s hanging out with the Titans

Jason: *putting down his helmet and grabbing a cookie off Tim’s plate* Then why’d the toddler say he’s been kidnapped.

Tim: *glaring at him for stealing his precious cookie* He learned that if Dick couldn’t spend time with him he could just say that Dick’s been kidnapped so that the rest of us would crash the place to “rescue” him.

Jason: That’s…that’s actually pretty smart. I wonder where he learned that.

Tim: *side-eyeing a hunched and scowling Bruce over the rim of his coffee mug*

Jason:

[woundposting]

wound, eroticism and subjectivity

the holy wound, attributed to jean le noir / the incredulity of saint thomas, guercino / the body of signification, elizabeth grosz (in: abjection, melancholia, and love: the works of julia kristeva) / hannibal nbc / the incredulity of saint thomas, caravaggio / saint catherine drinks the blood of christ, francesco vanni / the body of signification, elizabeth grosz / crash, david cronenberg / side wound of christ (england, 15th century) / the terror amc / the terror of pleasure: the contemporary horror film and postmodern theory, tania modleski (in: the horror reader)

[hillhomed]

ground me ground you

[samwwise]

mum said it's my turn to do the good omens + text posts meme pt.2 (pt.1)

[nancywheeeler]

hopeless time loop. the way out isn’t to save everyone. the way out isn’t to save even one person. the way out isn’t to change anything. the way out is accepting how it happened the first time is how it always will be. that’s how you acted, that’s how they acted, that’s how you would have acted every time if you weren’t given the curse of hindsight. the way out is accepting you can’t fix the past; you can only forgive yourself for it.