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haptronym · 3 years ago

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Canon vs. Fanon #3: All Might has depression/PTSD

Part 3 of comparing canon to fanon! This one’s long. Previous posts are about Quirklessness and Toshinori’s appearance. The appearance one is slightly relevant here.

This one is... absolutely fascinating to me. This assertion is “unspoken canon” among a lot of All Might fans. It was for me, too, for a long while. There’s plenty of reason for him to have pretty severe mental health problems, considering everything he’s been through. I mean, just look at him.

But... things didn’t quite add up for me. So this post examines what got me into this idea, then what made me decide that it, ultimately, didn’t really fit him the way I once thought it did.

Big huge disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional, and I’m not trying to claim that my interpretations of the show are any more valid than anyone else’s. I’m not trying to “prove” any “facts.” This is just an embarrassing amount of speculation, personal musing, and gushing about my favorite character.

In real life, mental health issues manifest in many ways; they can be subtle, masked, or look nothing like “textbook” examples. This is not meant to be an analysis of mental illness: it’s an analysis of fictional depictions of mental illness. When an author is trying to signal “Look, it’s PTSD! Look, it’s depression!” they will often insert certain predictable symptoms to clue the audience in. That’s really the deepest anyone can go with this kind of character analysis. All we can do is take a look at the behaviors and thoughts we are given, look at the context, and go, “Does this seem close to what we might expect?” This is obviously subjective and full of personal opinion, and it’s not meant to be commentary on real life or an attack on anyone’s personal experiences with these conditions.

Lastly, fanworks aren’t obligated to follow canon or author intent, whatever it may be, because fanworks are quite literally all about exploring what canon doesn’t. In the end, we’re all just finding meaning in characters we love. Tons of people (myself included) find meaning in labeling All Might as traumatized or depressed, and that’s all the justification it needs.

Does he have PTSD?

Going to get this topic out of the way first because I feel like it’s pretty clear-cut by comparison. It makes sense to assume Toshinori might suffer from PTSD. You do hero work as long as he has, you’re sure to see some awful, haunting things. He recently survived a horrific injury and repeated revision surgeries.

But... as far as I can see, his canon mannerisms don’t seem to contain any of the usual markers that generally signal “look, it’s PTSD!” such as flashbacks, nightmares, hyperarousal, reactions to loud noises, or intrusive thoughts. The strongest anxiety reaction we ever see from him is his reaction to Gran Torino! (Which, by the way, I will always assert was played up by the narrative for funny points.)

This is the case both in specific reactions and in his overall demeanor. To me, he overwhelmingly comes off as comfortable in his own skin and in control of his emotions. Even when he’s describing the most harrowing fight of his life, or the death of his master, he stays composed. When a drone suddenly zooms up behind him and nearly hits him, he does not startle whatsoever... he just calmly snatches it out of the air like a badass.

We never see him freeze up under stress. We never see him anxiously overreact or mistake friend for foe. There are several mentions about having nightmares from the terrible fight with All For One that put a hole in him... but AFO is the one complaining about having nightmares, not Toshinori!

I did find this amusing set of panels, but I have a feeling anyone would react this way to having a door suddenly slammed open behind them in the middle of a quiet, dramatic conversation.

We could claim, “well, maybe he just has episodes offscreen. Maybe he’s getting treatment offscreen.” Sure, but we could also claim that maybe he likes to wear fursuits offscreen too. That kind of unfounded speculation is the definition of fanon.

Speaking of speculation, here’s mine: I think it’s perfectly plausible that he’s dealt with PTSD symptoms in the past. But I also think that, considering his immense duties as a hero, he would do everything in his power to immediately seek professional help and treat his symptoms. His Quirk can level city blocks with the flick of a finger. It would only take one wrong move during a night terror, flashback, or accidental overreaction to cause a national tragedy. I cannot imagine he would just sit around and go “welp, I don’t want to see a therapist because Secrets, guess I’m just traumatized forever.” For all his flaws, I think he’s more responsible and caring than that, plus he is a perfectionist and hates anything that interferes with his hero duties. He has an enormous budget, plus the support and coverup abilities of the national government on his side... he could find a way.

All in all... I just don’t see much canonical evidence that he has a condition like PTSD during the events of the show. I don’t see symptoms or treatments. If you think I missed something, please let me know.

Does he have depression?

Okay, welcome to the other 90% of this post.

When we first see Toshinori’s true form, the whiplash is overwhelming. He goes from a blustering, grinning showoff to someone who looks morose, tired, and resigned. Then he says these lines:

...Whoa. He doesn’t smile genuinely, he only does it as a ruse. His confident front is just a facade, hiding overwhelming pressure and fear. But he must act strong, because it’s his duty. Even if he’s crumbling inside, he can’t reveal his true emotions. It must be symbolic: his emotional “true form” must be just as exhausted and withered as his physical one. What a fascinating, relatable way to represent how depression quietly wears a person down, until they’re emotionally hanging on by a thread and can only spend a few hours a day performing normalcy until they have to sneak off and revert to their burned-out true form.

Look at him wildly overacting to put on a strong front for the kid that he wants to inspire. Such sacrifi-

Um. Anyway, one of these days, the facade will fall, and we’ll get to see the true depths of the bleak, overwhelming depression that he feels such a need to bravely hide...

Hm. This is perplexing.

Now, even severely depressed people don’t just cry nonstop. They can drag themselves out of bed and stumble through the numb haze to do what has to be done. They can fake enthusiasm. They can also legitimately feel inspired by things, or laugh at jokes, or get wrapped up in a fun activity for a time. There are periods of normalcy, scattered in between the long swaths of gray.

So when we ask whether or not a character has depression, we shouldn’t be asking, “why can they smile and function,” but where are their swaths of gray? Where, in the series, do we see them experience bone-crushing fatigue, suffocating sadness and guilt, fixation on past failures, numbness and loss of pleasure in the things they once loved? Depression is a serious mood disorder which impacts how a person thinks, feels, and behaves. Yes, Toshinori has to intentionally fix a smile on his face when performing a hero persona that smiles nonstop. Does this mean he has a mental illness?

I’m going to go through a handful of behaviors and attitudes common to depression, and compare them to what we see from him. We can’t know a person’s inner thoughts 24/7, but something as serious as mental illness tends to leave signs.

(Note that I’m going to address the war arc in a separate section, after all this.)

Behaviors: Lack of energy/motivation

One of the most debilitating parts of depression is that it saps a person’s energy and motivation. It feels like constantly wading knee-deep through mud. Even mundane tasks become difficult and draining.

Behaviorally, this can manifest in all sorts of ways, but people often begin cutting back to the bare minimum essential tasks. It’s difficult to do even the necessities, much less any “extras.” They may stop engaging in leisure activities or hanging out with friends. They can begin missing deadlines or falling behind on work.

In Vigilantes chapter 6+ beta, set several years before the series, we do see an example of Toshinori falling behind on work:

But I would seriously question this as an example of depression-fueled fatigue. Immediately prior to this, we watched him catch a purse-snatcher, stop a hit-and-run, defeat a rampaging robot, prop up a falling bridge, and save a kitten from a tree, all within minutes of each other. The implication just seems to be that he is a workaholic maniac who would generate too many reports for himself no matter what.

Aside from this... I think there’s very little evidence that he lacks energy. At the start of the main series, Toshinori can only physically do hero work for 3 hours a day. And, to our knowledge, he always does so. (Even on his days off... which is what triggers the events of the show!) If you’re using Vigilantes canon, he is also working as his own secretary at the same time. Then he takes on Izuku’s training on top of this. Through the short training montage, we always see him with Izuku at the beach, even when he has nothing to do but cheer &/or heckle from the sidelines. We do see him briefly riding on a Segway, which could have indicated a need to conserve his energy if not for the fact that he dismounts after about five seconds in order to unnecessarily transform into his hero form and shake his successor around like a rag doll.

Then, he also starts working at U.A., a task which requires him to learn huge amounts of new information and integrate into a whole new environment. How does he cope? In the light novels, he goes out for drinks with the U.A. teachers to socialize. He repeatedly jumps to contribute more than necessary, such as when he pesters Aizawa to alter a rescue exercise so he can appear as a villain. In another rescue exercise (depicted in the light novels), he even appears as a villain in his true form—trying to contribute even when he doesn’t have All Might time. (He really seems to like playing villains...) The one time he misses class (USJ) it’s because he spent too much time doing hero work, and he still goes to the effort to show up at the end even though he only has 10 minutes of hero form time left.

Aside from the purely physical limitations caused by his injury, Toshinori has never indicated that he feels drained by his ridiculously demanding lifestyle. In fact, the narration emphasizes repeatedly, like here in chapter 15, that his problem is that he refuses to cut back. And it’s not “you work too hard for an old person with an awful injury.” It’s “you work too hard compared to any human being, holy shit, calm down.” He is always pushing himself to his limits.

What about motivation? He clearly has enough motivation to get all of his work done, as we’ve seen. But one of the chief reasons that Toshinori decided to train Izuku is because Izuku gave him motivation to act. This could be interpreted to mean that, before meeting Izuku, Toshinori had lost the drive to do his work.

But think about the rest of the story. We just discussed how Toshinori pushes himself to his limits. In this case, the action he found motivation to do was to push past his limits and start spitting blood. That’s a dangerous thing to aspire to, and the story tells us so. Throughout the narrative, we explore the harms of this overzealous self-sacrifice, both as it applies to him, and and as it applies to Izuku, who tries to imitate him.

It wasn’t that he was unmotivated to do hero work at all before meeting Izuku—he clearly was, as shown by the fact that he had already used up all his hero form time on his day off. He was just less motivated to go beyond reason in the process.

Toshinori’s problem has never been a lack of passion—it’s been that he has too much of it, and pushes himself way too hard as a result. Far from needing motivation to act, he is constantly told he needs rest. If Toshinori has depression, it is definitely not hampering his ability to get things done.

Behaviors: Isolation

People with depression often stop hanging out with friends, stop going out to events, and generally withdraw. This does not fit at all with the Toshinori we see in the series. Once the show kicks off, he’s more social than he’s ever been, juggling hero work, Izuku’s training, teaching, and socializing with his new coworkers. Even after the events of Kamino, when he would have plenty of justification to spend several days (or weeks) recuperating and processing his loss of One For All in solitude, he leaps out of his hospital bed within a day to make appearances on national television and punch his successor in the face.

What about how he seems to have no family or friends? He mentions in Vigilantes chapter 6+ beta that he has very few friends that he can exchange personal contact info with, presumably because of his high-profile existence. The isolation of being a public figure is definitely real.

But this post points out that, throughout his career, it seems like he deliberately chose to isolate himself, even when he had no need to. He simply seemed to prefer spending his free time saving people from crime rather than dating, networking, or hanging out with buddies on the weekends. Could this have been some kind of defensive trauma response? Maybe, or it could’ve been that he simply got more fulfillment from his work than from making lots of friends or starting a family. Plenty of people (and a lot of high achievers) do not consider social life to be the pinnacle of their existence. This does not mean they are mentally ill.

In any case, he’s certainly not isolating from people during the main series—in fact, we see more named relationships of his (Nana, Gran Torino, David Shield, Nighteye, Tsukauchi) than most other heroes in the show get.

Behaviors: Sleep/appetite/pain/etc

The one time we see Toshinori apparently having trouble sleeping is in episode 101, when Nezu gently calls him out for spending way too much time compiling information on past OFA users. I’d argue that this seems more related to his obsessive research than to the somatic effects of a mood disorder. (Again with the boundless drive to get things done—something not usually seen in depression.)

Other than this, we don’t see enough of Toshinori’s day-to-day life to have much insight on whether he suffers from sleep disturbances, appetite changes, unexplained pain, or the other physical symptoms that often accompany depression. Even if we did see these things, they could just be side-effects of his injury.

Speaking of his injury, it’s remarkable how few side-effects we are shown. I think it’s common to go, “Well, I am pretty sure that this injury should have a ton of side-effects and significantly impact his day-to-day life, and we don’t see that. Conclusion: these side-effects are there, but the show just doesn’t want to spend time showing them. In the same way, I think he has depression, but the show just isn’t directly showing it.” Hold that thought; I’ll address it later.

Depression isn’t just characterized by physical issues... it’s a mental disorder, after all. It tends to change a person’s thought patterns and pigeonhole them into predictable mindsets. So, let’s go through a few common ones and see how they compare to the way he acts.

Mindsets: Negativity/catastrophizing

Depression tends to blinker people. Under its influence, it’s very hard to see anything besides the negative sides of a situation. It makes people jump to the conclusion that things will probably go as badly as they possibly can.

This is... the absolute polar opposite of the way we see Toshinori act and think.

Two days into the school year, class 1-A is attacked by villains at the USJ. This event was a horrific disaster for Toshinori. He failed in his teaching duties by using up his muscle form and not arriving on time, and nearly lost his entire class and his coworker because of it. His time limit was massacred: he’s still supposed to be teaching and doing hero work and now he only has an hour per day to do it. Meanwhile, his successor still can’t use One For All without pulverizing his bones to dust.

How does he react?

Another example: Kamino. His true form was exposed to the world. His Quirk is finally gone forever, and his hopes for a smooth succession are ruined. Society is sure to destabilize from this, and villains are going to grow bolder than ever in a time when there is now no one strong enough to stand against them. How does he respond?

Okay, first he punches Izuku in the face and yells at him. But. He quickly turns it around to a message of praise and hope. He finds something good in Izuku’s constant recklessness: for the first time, Izuku managed to get out of a situation without harm. And he finds something good in the loss of his Quirk: now it means he can devote himself to raising Izuku. Fantastic positive reframing at work.

I could go on, but... just watch the show. It’s obvious. Toshinori’s positivity is one of his most defining character traits. He is constantly bringing up the positive, both to others and to himself. If the odds seem impossible, then just smash past those odds!

Mindsets: Indecisiveness/reluctance to act

In depression, indecisiveness can strike even with tasks as simple as deciding what to wear. People spin their wheels with anxiety and doubt, ruminating endlessly over what they should choose, thinking of all the times they’ve gotten things wrong in the past. Then they avoid making any decision at all out of fear that they might screw up yet again. The bigger the decision, the harder it is to act.

With that in mind, I’m just going to copy-paste some insightful shitposting from @journalxxx about Toshinori’s typical decision-making process:

"This kid I just met two hours ago is perfect, Imma make him my successor, no doubt about it. We're gonna start training tomorrow and I've already picked the perfect spot and also went and planned his whole life for the next ten months, down to the composition of his meals-"

"Yeah, that villain attack on day 2 of school sucked, it brought everyone's moods down... Oh. Oh! But you know what would be cool and instructive? Simulating ANOTHER VILLAIN ATTACK! Oh man, what an idea, hey Aizawa, listen-"

"Oh, my friend's daughter wrote to me to just invite me on a trip after years? Hm, I should maybe think about it for a moment, given the schedules of my new job, my secret health issues, the recent villain attacks- PSYCH, LET ME CALL MY PRIVATE JET PILOT, I'M LEAVING RIGHT NOW- OOOH, AND I'M BRINGING THE KID WITH ME, THIS'LL BE AWESOME-"

(He didn’t even give Izuku time to change out of his school uniform. Why take 30 seconds to change when you could GO GO GO RIGHT NOW?)

Toshinori is the one who introduced the concept that real heroes “move before they think,” and by god, he lives and breathes this motto. Both the Tsukauchi identity reveal and the USJ fiasco happened because he got wrapped up in hero work: when he sees someone in need, he doesn’t hesitate for a second; he immediately hits the ground running. One would assume that, as his time limit got shorter, we would see him agonizing and deliberating about how best to use it... but we don’t.

For the most part, he makes decisions quickly and confidently and then sticks to them. Even with his life’s biggest, ultimate ambition, he apparently ran first and worked out the details later.

He does have a lot of difficulty initiating personal conversations: it takes him far too long to reveal important backstory info like the origin of OFA, and he had a lot of trouble reconnecting with people like Gran Torino and Nighteye. But this seems like a reluctance to open up, not an inability to choose. He’s always been a secretive person who would rather not talk about himself and who would prefer to conceal facts if it helps create a more positive and uplifting atmosphere. With most other situations, he could honestly benefit from a bit more indecision before impulsively leaping into things.

Mindsets: Lack of pleasure

This one is obviously subjective. We can’t exactly ask him, and the whole premise that kicked off this examination is the idea that he’s faking a smile to hide his fear and pain. But even so, it is really difficult to look at things like the first minute of episode 58 and conclude that he’s not having a genuinely great time.

I can’t know for certain, but I am pretty sure that he doesn’t ham it up like this because he’s grudgingly going along with what his media team ordered. I am pretty sure he made a lot of his career and branding choices because he just thought they were really fun and wanted an excuse to burst into rooms while dabbing and shouting corny catchphrases. He doesn’t need to be a huge, ridiculous goof, but he seems to love it, both in hero and in true form.

There’s a frequent idea that the only reason Toshinori works so diligently for so long, and acts so enthusiastic in his hero form, is not because it brings him happiness, but because he’s driven by workaholism. He has to be “on” 24/7 in front of others. If he stopped, or dropped his cheery facade, he would feel crushing guilt for letting down the image he’s supposed to uphold. Therefore: it isn’t that he feels happiness or pleasure from his work like it appears—he doesn’t, he’s desperately depressed and burned-out—he’s just even more desperately trying to avoid shame. There’s no joy in the excessive act he puts on.

There is no question that he’s a workaholic. Multiple characters tell him this to his face. When he talks about why he became a hero, he usually phrases it as feeling driven in some way, rather than “it’s just so nice and enjoyable to save people.” Other people refer to his drive as a “madness.” And throughout the whole story, he struggles with feelings that he’s not doing enough, despite going above and beyond pretty much constantly.

He has stated, several times, that his work is not easy. It’s not all smiles. In fact, it can be crushing, something he mentions in chapter 317.

But does this mean he has gotten no enjoyment from his hero persona? That it was never anything but a horrible slogging trap of obligation and guilt? That seems absurd. It disrespects his compassion and the earnestness of his heroic motives. Are we really supposed to believe that he gets no happiness from reuniting families after a disaster? No warm satisfaction from a job well done, or joy from inspiring people? Not even a smidge of pride from being fawned over? It’s a very hard job, but who’s to say it isn’t worth it?

In the end, we don’t have direct narrative proof either way. He does not look at the camera and tell us, “I feel immense pleasure and fulfillment in my life.” But he also does not say, “I am drowning in sorrow and nothing brings me joy.” To me, it seems most plausible that his drive to work is driven both by enjoyment and aversion... the same as most things in life. People have complex relationships with their jobs and goals. There’s no work in the world that is nonstop fun with no downsides.

Workaholism is definitely a red flag. But it cannot be used to determine someone’s mood or even their opinion of their work. You cannot assert “this person must feel no pleasure from their job” just because it’s hard and they would feel guilty if they quit. The person would need to show several other worrying patterns before this would become a plausible idea. And meanwhile, I think there’s quite a few signs that he experiences genuine happiness on the regular.

Mindsets: Excessive guilt/regret

Toshinori has the tendency to apologize for things that are not his fault. He is the classic overreaching hero, taking the weight of the world on his shoulders. Some examples:

Both after the Stain arc and after Shigaraki ambushes Izuku at the mall, he apologizes that he wasn’t there to protect Izuku.

After the Summer Forest Training incident, he is mortified that he was blissfully taking a bath while his students struggled for their lives.

He apologizes to Aizawa when Katsuki picks a fight with Izuku, saying that he should’ve been more sensitive to Katsuki’s mental state. No, Katsuki’s just feral.

He apologizes that he wasn’t able to be more helpful to Izuku in the Villain Hunt arc. Yeah, because Izuku ditched him!

This seems like a natural consequence of his grand hero goals and the overpowered Quirk he lived with for 40 years. It makes sense that, as his power wanes, he is going to have trouble letting go of his overinflated sense of responsibility. At the same time, he seems aware of this issue and knows that it’s unreasonable, shown when he comments in chapter 22 that he and Izuku are alike in their compulsion to personally apologize for everyone else’s problems.

In addition... he is also just a polite Japanese guy, even if he steals Western superhero imagery left and right. In the U.S, this kind of behavior looks dysfunctional, but in Japan, it’s customary to politely apologize all the time for the most unnecessary things. The notes below come from a story draft that Horikoshi, this show’s mangaka, gave to his animation studio. These notes are an example of normal Japanese humility!

(Note that the finished OVA almost exactly followed this so-called "incoherent" script.)

Interestingly, despite this reflexive apologizing, he doesn’t seem to dwell on his failures for long. Excessive guilt and regret is all about rumination. Izuku is a great example of this, as he does it repeatedly, mulling over old topics and beating himself up after the fact.

But Toshinori behaves very differently. He is forced to confront and deliver a lot of bad news over this series, but he usually handles it in a remarkably non-judgmental and matter-of-fact way. And then, we almost never see him revisit it in order to berate himself. Examples:

At the USJ, he says “I’m sorry, Aizawa,” when seeing the awful injuries he could have prevented if he had been there... and that is the last we hear about it. We don’t ever see him bring up the incident again to fret about how he should have been there or done better. Instead, he brags about how Class 1-A did a stellar job and how the villains picked the wrong fight. (Positive reframing, again!)

When he learns about All For One being alive again, he’s naturally upset... but we don’t see him berating himself for failing to do the job right the first time. He has a lot to be guilty for: Izuku now has to face the horror he couldn’t defeat. But he doesn’t really get down on himself for it.

When he learns about Shigaraki being Nana’s grandson, he is naturally horrified. He tries, later, to take on the task of saving Shigaraki. But Gran Torino and Tsukauchi immediately shoot down his idea and tell him it’s not his task. He still does what he can to help the war effort, but I don’t recall him revisiting this topic to ruminate over his failure to save his master’s grandchild.

When asking Inko’s permission to let Izuku keep going to U.A., he spends very little time begging forgiveness. He immediately turns it around and asks her to... think on the bright side of things, and imagine the good instead of ruminating on the bad.

Nighteye is one of the few exceptions. When Toshinori speaks with Endeavor shortly after Nighteye’s death, it’s clear that he still feels regret about the way he cut Nighteye off so long ago. Nighteye also haunts his thoughts later... which I’ll get to.

Interestingly, I believe the story strongly suggests that he ruminates and apologizes too little, and that this is a character flaw. For example, in episode 5, after the entrance exam, when Izuku asks him whether he knew One For All was going to shatter all his bones, Toshinori doesn’t berate himself for causing his student horrific pain. Instead, he replies with... a thumbs-up, a big grin, and a lame pun.

In fact, unless I’m forgetting, he has never apologized to Izuku for his harsh speech on the rooftop, for all the bone-breaking, for failing to defeat AFO the first time, for withholding vital information, or for generally doing a terrible job as a mentor. There are many, many fix-it fics out there that are clearly frustrated about this behavior. It has taken him over 300 chapters to begin to self-reflect and realize the folly in this. As of this writing (chapter 360) he still hasn’t gotten around to giving his successor a proper apology that actually addresses his real failings, instead of a generic “sorry I couldn’t save the day.”

So he apologizes for things he shouldn’t, and doesn’t apologize for things that he should. Flawed? Yes. But overall pretty low on the guilt and regret.

The tally so far

Lack of energy/motivation: none we can see. He is on the go constantly.

Isolation: none we can see. He seems to prefer work over idle socializing, but it would be hard to expect much else from the #1 hero.

Other physical symptoms: none we can see.

Negativity/catastrophizing: pretty much none, impressive considering this series is a giant string of disasters. He is practical with bad news and practices positive reframing all the time.

Indecisiveness/reluctance to act: he is extremely decisive, almost too much so.

Lack of pleasure: subjective, but he seems to have plenty of genuine fun.

Guilt/regrets: apologizes for stuff he shouldn’t, but does not dwell on things. In fact, his refusal to self-reflect on his mistakes could be considered a flaw.

This is why I bothered to make this post at all. The depression take has always fascinated me because from what I can see, it’s not just that it’s debatable: it’s that most of his behaviors seem like the polar opposite of what you’d normally see in a person suffering from depression.

I am not trying to say that he is perfectly well-adjusted and has absolutely no problems. He is a clear workaholic and has dangerously skewed opinions about his limits and his sense of responsibility. He is extremely reluctant to open up about personal topics and tends to hold people at a distance. He does not self-reflect on things he should—this could be a sign that he dissociates from his flaws instead of facing them. All I’m saying is that these problems do not seem to involve depression as it’s normally understood.

But I’ve left out an important scene, one of the most decisive in this entire discussion.

Fighting Fate

This scene, starting in chapter 130, is considered proof positive that Toshinori had pretty much given up on life, at least before he met Izuku. Because Toshinori straight-out admits that, when Nighteye told him that he was going to die, he went right ahead and accepted it.

What kind of person would just roll over and accept death? Only someone who’s lost all hope, right?

You may be anticipating a rebuttal. Good instincts.

Think back to the hospital scene where this prophecy happened. Toshinori had just experienced a devastating injury, something he would never truly recover from. Considering his usual invulnerability, it was also, most likely, the first time he’d ever been badly injured in the line of duty. Imagine how terrifying and bleak life must have felt, constantly wondering whether he’d die suddenly and uncontrollably at any instant from the thousands of complications that can come from losing so many vital organs. He decided to use whatever remaining time he had left to uphold his duties as the Symbol of Peace, at least until a successor could be found to take his place.

But then... Nighteye informed him that he was, essentially, guaranteed to survive for an entire six or seven more years. And not only that... he would die while facing off against a villain, which presumably meant he could do hero work during that time. That had to be incredible news for someone who didn’t know whether his remaining life was going to be measured in years, or weeks, or days, or hours. It must have been an enormous relief. And it’s no wonder he skipped right out the hospital doors, if he had been promised he would survive for years to come no matter what. I mean, why wouldn’t you fight as much crime as you could if you had the guarantee that you would never die for at least half a decade?

To me, his behavior perfectly aligns with the attitudes we’ve seen in the previous sections. He knew, better than almost anyone, how infallible Nighteye’s prophecies were. So he didn’t dwell on the unfairness of it or hesitantly spin his wheels while pining for a rosier solution. He just immediately chose to make the best of what he was given. To me, that doesn’t look like depression or hopelessness at all: that looks like a remarkably proactive, pragmatic approach to one’s inevitable mortality. (It also looks like raging workaholism to try and go back to work while still barely able to walk, but nobody’s perfect, and again: I think this driven behavior fits workaholism way better than it fits depression.)

In the real world, if somebody got a terminal diagnosis with a fixed time frame like this, Nighteye’s desperate bargaining (“We’ll change things! Somehow! In some unspecified way!”) would be considered the dysfunctional attitude, while All Might’s resolution to get on with his life would be the well-adjusted, healthy one. His only “flaw” was that he didn’t idealistically assume he could escape the inevitable just by really, really wanting it to happen.

But luckily, Izuku came along to remind him that he lives in a superhero comic. And so, when he reached his finish line... he rose up, sent his optimistic streak into overdrive, and refused to accept his fate.

To me, this fight was astonishing. Because depression is crushing. Depression is exhausting. The urge to lie down and give up is overwhelmingly powerful. Even if you can push past it in order to do your duty, it’s always still there, weighing you down, whispering in the back of your mind.

But we got to listen to the thoughts inside his head during this fight, and we didn’t hear those whispers, not for a moment. He never wistfully said goodbye to the relief of that finish line, or mused that it would have been nice for his pain to finally be over. He never complained that his responsibilities were too heavy. He didn’t push back those negative thoughts—because they weren’t even there in the first place. Instead, his mind was filled with thoughts of his loved ones and the duty that gives him purpose. He ignored AFO’s taunts, pushed aside the awful shock of learning about Tenko, and chose to defeat his destiny.

How My Hero Academia handles hidden emotions

(Spoilers ahead for anime-only watchers)

You may be saying at this point, “This nitpicking is pointless. We heard him say that he smiles to cover up the pain. So of course we wouldn’t see symptoms. Clearly, he’s just stoically hiding his suffering. He has no energy, but he makes himself get up in the morning. He consciously pushes aside the dark thoughts and chooses to be uplifting. He doesn’t complain because he needs to set a good example.”

You may also be saying, “This is unfair. You’ve barely said a word about the Aizawa bench scene or the Stain confrontation in any of your examples.” That’s right! I’m going to get to those now.

One thing I learned pretty quickly is that this show is not coy about telling us when a character is having trouble, even if they are trying to hide it. When Ida was trying to “show a strong face” during the Stain arc, his attempts to hide his distress in chapters 45 and 46 were about as subtle to the audience as a sack of bricks.

We see this same pattern in many other characters. Here is an example from Izuku in chapter 163, putting on a brave face and claiming he’s fine. Note how the narration beats us over the head with the fact that he is not, in fact, fine.

Endeavor and Hawks also come to mind as characters who put on a stoic face towards others. And yet, we are given inner thoughts and private moments where we see their true feelings. I’m pretty sure Bakugo is the one who’s been consistently the most mysterious about his true feelings, which is saying something. This show is not subtle overall.

Initially, when we didn’t see this happening with Toshinori, I thought that he was just being Plus Ultra once again. His whole arc is about hiding the truth of himself, right? So of course he’d hide his exhaustion and pain from the successor he’s trying to inspire. He doesn’t want to inconvenience others, or draw attention to his own problems. He must be so good at deflecting concern that he can even hide it from the narration!

But then, the series continued, and... suddenly, we started getting the same blatant signs that we got from every other character. We were shown, very plainly, that he was struggling with feelings of being unable to help like he once could. As soon as Aizawa asked him what was wrong in episode 113, he plainly stated, “I am struggling with feelings of being unable to help people like I once could.”

What? He just casually blurts out his troubles to a coworker the second they question him? What happened to “put on a smile at all costs”? What happened to stoically hiding his sadness no matter what, to the point that there’s no evidence he’s sad at all?

As the stability of the nation crumbles and things get worse and worse and worse, he gets less and less subtle. He starts dwelling on his past failures, thinking about Nighteye over and over, and berating himself for his shortcomings. He tries his best to keep his turmoil hidden, and for the most part, it’s kept private from other characters. But we see it clear as day. We are clearly shown tons of blaring depression warning signs: feelings of worthlessness, lack of motivation, rumination, guilt, indecisiveness, hopelessness.

At the climax of it all in chapter 326, he goes wandering off dramatically in the rain (subtle!!) and freely discusses his negative thoughts during a truly wild serial killer therapy session.

We, the audience, are very clearly shown every step of his pain. And after he’s processed through it for a while, he leaps with both feet back into proactive, positive action, doggedly contributing to the war effort, the same energetic behavior he shows during the entire rest of the show. He’s definitely shaken, and may very well still be dealing with persistent negative thoughts (“crawling through the mud,”) but his spirit is not broken, and he’s pushing forward as best he can.

Will he backslide after this? Who knows; the manga isn’t done yet as of this writing. But it sure looks like a typical character crisis/resolution arc. He went through a harrowing time of self-doubt, and by chapter 327, came back out of it with renewed determination to help and faith in his students and in the future.

So what gives? This certainly looks more like a classic depressive episode than anything we’ve seen thus far. All in all, it comes off remarkably similar to the way that pretty much every other character’s emotional troubles are handled: blatantly. And he picks himself back up really fast.

Some might say that he was always secretly depressed, and only opened up to Aizawa because the stress was just too much and he broke down. But I argue, again—My Hero Academia tells us when its characters are experiencing emotions, even if they conceal them from the rest of the cast. It makes no sense for Toshinori to be an exception.

For the first 250 chapters of the show, Toshinori does not show any signs of lethargy, excessive rumination, negativity, feelings of worthlessness, or other signs that typically accompany depression. We get plenty of glimpses into his private, inner thoughts during this time. We even get to watch him hiding his emotions! And, like almost every other instance of characters hiding their emotions (this example in chapter 59), his true feelings are crystal-clear to the audience. (He’s also not very subtle in general. Not really a master at concealing his distress.)

Then, we get a character arc where he does display all those depression warning flags, very clearly and straightforwardly, in much the same way that the show portrays other characters trying to deal with mental distress. So what does that mean for the beginning of the show, when we never saw anything like that?

The clearest explanation of all this, to me... is that Toshinori has never been playing 5-D chess with the narrative. What we saw is what he felt. We can now tell that he was never cleverly trying to bluster through depressive attitudes back then, because we now know what it actually looks like when he’s trying to bluster through depressive attitudes. His remarkable ability to act like someone who does not have a mood disorder makes much more sense if he does not, in fact, have a mood disorder.

Except for one thing... the rooftop scene that started all of this.

What was going on there? If he never had depression, why did the show start off with such a wild red herring? Why have him announce that he was hiding horrible, crushing anguish, then turn around and make him act perfectly normal for the vast majority of the show?

Heading back to the rooftop

This gets into very speculative territory. But please hear it out, and decide if it makes more sense than secret-depression-with-no-symptoms. To me, the key is to look at the whole rooftop scene in context.

Let’s think about it from Toshinori’s point of view. He’s just been accosted by, from what he can tell, a rabid fanboy with no sense of boundaries. He has no idea how important Izuku’s dream is, and Izuku doesn’t exactly sell his ambition very well.

Izuku is a skinny, timid little string bean who clearly hasn’t trained for a day in his life. He describes saving people as... “cool.” And now he’s blithely asking if it’s possible to become a hero on All Might’s level without a Quirk. To Toshinori, Izuku probably looks like just another head-in-the-clouds, delusional fanboy. (There’s plenty of room to argue that this was exactly Izuku’s mindset until Toshinori dropped opportunity into his lap. He did not seem to actually try very hard, he just had a lot of vague dreams and a notebook blog. But that’s for another discussion.)

Toshinori probably encounters dozens of kids who act just like Izuku every day: kids with no sense of perspective, who look at heroes and thoughtlessly go “that looks cool, I wanna do that.” After all, earlier in the chapter, every single kid in Izuku’s class seemed to be planning a hero career, including the kids with amazing powers such as “has a long neck” and “has puffy cheeks.” Good luck with that, kids.

I wouldn’t be surprised if All Might’s example specifically causes problems with expectations: he makes everything look fun and effortless, easily saving everyone with a smile, so young fans make unrealistic assumptions about what hero work is actually like. Long-neck kid is going to get a horribly rude awakening when he realizes how traumatic the profession can be and how unsuited his Quirk is for the job. It’s got to hurt Toshinori, knowing that he’s inadvertently setting up innocent children for this kind of shock and disillusionment. And now, he’s seeing those unrealistic assumptions play out in this youngster, who’s already reckless enough to do dangerous things like grab his leg when he’s about to launch into the air with the speed of a jet plane.

It’s probably hard to talk kids out of this idealistic mindset. But because Izuku has seen his true form, Toshinori suddenly has a lot of options available that he usually doesn’t. The cat is already out of the bag, so now he can use the reality of his situation to give this kid the biggest wake-up call possible. Hence showing him the scar. Hence talking about his smile.

My takeaway is: when he talked about his smile hiding his fear, I now don’t think Toshinori was trying to make some kind of deep personal admission about how he has to conceal his true feelings. It wasn’t really about his feelings at all. It was simply about trying to convey a sense of reality to Izuku. “Look, I don’t smile because this job is effortless, even though I make it look easy. In reality, hero work is difficult and frightening. Please understand the gravity of what you’re trying to get into. Even I haven’t come out unscathed.”

He’s been through hell. His job is much harder than it looks. But I don’t think he’s trying to tell a child he just met that he’s secretly depressed and living a double life. Despite the struggles he’s been through, his positivity, drive, and hope are genuine, and we see that clearly throughout the entire rest of the show. He just doesn’t want this poor kid to get the wrong idea about hero work.

I hope all this was able to demonstrate why, nowadays, I don’t think he was suffering chronic depression during this series. Now, before the series? We can’t know. I’m sure that he was devastated after Nana’s death, and had a nightmarish time trying to adjust to the reality of his injury. But over a long period of time? I seriously question whether he would have been able to accomplish the superhuman career that he did while juggling a chronic mood disorder—to me, it belittles the debilitating nature of this condition to claim, “well, he pushed past all the hampering symptoms just by being so driven and noble.”

We saw him go through a crisis in the war arc, and he is likely still dealing with that internally. To me, the fact that he picked himself back up so fast just makes it even more unlikely that he has been quietly buckling under a long-term mood disorder this whole time. I don’t think he was hiding crushing, overwhelming negative feelings and putting on a brave face, because this series shows us whenever characters—including him—do things like that. He’s had a hard life, and he has plenty of problems, but I don’t think that this mood disorder has been one of them.

But why doesn’t he have depression!?

More than the rooftop, more than anything else, I think one of the biggest reasons people headcanon Toshinori as having depression &/or PTSD is simply because they take one look at his laundry list of tragedies and go: “there’s no way in hell a person wouldn’t be messed up after all that.”

And... yeah. That’s a very reasonable point.

In fact, I’d take it even farther: every single person in this show should probably be more traumatized than they actually are. Class 1-A? They should all be on a first-name basis with their therapists by now, with everything they’ve been through. And yet, canonically, they don’t show significant signs of trauma. They process their hardships and then go on to do things like their schoolwork and coordinated dance routines.

This is where we have to accept that this is a shonen series. The poor author is caught between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, it’s implausible and lazy to just ignore the entire topic of mental trauma, especially with a cast full of children who are experiencing violent crimes firsthand. But realistically depicted mental illness requires huge amounts of time and care to properly address, and characters with mental illness tend to have trouble doing protagonist-y things, like running off to save the world. If the story were to give the cast “realistic” levels of trauma, then the plot would instantly grind to a halt, dragged down by the severe psychiatric problems of 20 teenagers.

What’s interesting is that the series doesn’t just pretend the issue doesn’t exist. During the rescue OVA that takes place directly after the horrific events of USJ, Aizawa tells Toshinori that he shouldn’t throw a random villain surprise into their training exercise because it might be traumatizing.

(But then they go ahead and do it anyway.)

Later, after the villain attack of the Forest Training Camp Arc, Nezu specifically says in chapter 86 that the kids received psychological evaluations.

So the show clearly indicates it’s aware of the risks... it just decides that the main characters miraculously happen to be super-resilient. Which seems implausible, and gets more and more implausible the longer the series lasts... but it’s not impossible. There are lots of factors that can have a protective effect against mental trauma, such as being a protagonist in a shonen series.

Honestly, I’d rather have this over-optimistic approach than have the story try to be “realistic.” Because, let’s be real, kids’ action-adventure shows usually can’t handle these issues tactfully. Just look at what happened when they tried to depict super-duper serious trauma with Eri. This poor girl had been tortured and abused for so long that she couldn’t even smile... but in episode 86, shoving her into a noisy, overwhelming concert magically rekindled her joy instead of, say, causing her to massacre half the student body in a panic attack. That’s just how these sorts of stories go... this show does not have the time or space to have her spend a decade in therapy like she probably needs in order to handle an event like this.

(But gosh, look how cute it is.)

Same thing with Toshinori. Should he have more medical symptoms than we see? Probably, but it would drag down the story. And if the show actually gave him chronic PTSD, then Japan would have likely become a smoking crater a long time ago. In my opinion, the only way he could canonically have PTSD and still keep the story moving is if he just so happened to have a conveniently neutered version of the disorder that never caused any meaningful trouble... and that’s pretty disrespectful to a serious real-life illness. I can get why the author might have looked at this dilemma and decided to avoid giving him PTSD at all. Not out of ignorance, but out of respect and a desire not to misrepresent the condition.

This is exactly why fanworks are so useful: because they aren’t constrained by the many limitations of the main story. They can look at what it might be like if Eri actually needed a decade in therapy. They can see what might happen if Toshinori completely fell apart, or accidentally hurt someone in a moment of panic.

However... please think about the kind of message it sends to say, “Well, obviously, he should have depression/PTSD. He would definitely have them if this weren’t a shonen series. I’m doing honor to his true character to give him these conditions.” Losing a loved one does not automatically doom a person to trauma disorders or mood disorders that persist 40 years after the event. Injuries, even terrible ones, do not automatically doom a person to trauma disorders or mood disorders either. It is horribly bleak to make these claims like they’re givens.

It is also so, so saddening to see so many assumptions that his career as the Symbol of Peace came at the cost of his happiness, or that he lacked purpose or meaning in his life before meeting Izuku. It feels like such a disservice to his heroic spirit and his desire to make a difference in the world. It must have felt so good, so incredibly fulfilling, to be able to help so many people and raise so many spirits, even for a few hours a day. Who wouldn’t feel satisfaction from being able to play such an amazing role? Notice how we only started to see the negative thoughts really creep in once he lost his hero form for good.

He doesn’t need to have suffered through his whole career for his relationship with Izuku to be life-changing. In fact, I think it is much more meaningful if he felt true happiness from his career before starting to teach. Imagine the pain of losing something so important, so joyful, so immensely fulfilling, your life’s work. It would take something equally special and meaningful to fill that deep void and pull him out of the despair we saw in the war arc.

I wasn’t born yesterday; I know that fanfic exists to let us gleefully torture our favorite characters as much as we feel like. Sometimes, at the end of the day, you just gotta give them a debilitating mental disorder. But I question the constant message that optimism and good deeds are worth more if they’re forced out past a pall of suffering. Sometimes, it’s nice to be reminded that people can go through hell and still come out smiling... a genuine smile, not hiding a thing.

(Thanks to @journalxxx for lots of help and input on this post)

#meta #toshinori yagi #bnha #bnha manga spoilers

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endlessburningdarkness · 1 year ago

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well it's nice for you that you can justify all of that lol

also i'm not american but this is a real american ass response i have to say. you clearly cannot read between the lines over what the character says he feels vs what is actually conveyed in the text. and you clearly think the only reason someone could have a different view is bc of their nationality. which is politically uncool. what if i was chinese? would you blame my take on my being from china just as quickly?

just because someone initiates sex doesn't mean they deserve to endure whatever happens? what kind of rape apologie bullshit is that? also love how you ignore the bleeding and the fact that lou binghe speeds up when shen yuan asks him to slow down!

consent needs to be ongoing and special keyword here enthusiastic! the text could more clearly convey shen yuan's genuine enthusiasm because we are in his head and we can read his thoughts! but he has no genuine enthusiasm lmao, he dreads it the whole time. he feels obligated to play the woman's role. he doesn't enjoy it in text. orgasming is also not proof of enjoyment. you can orgasm during rape/sexual assault. it doesn't mean you actually wanted it. you can initiate sex and revoke consent in the middle and if your partner doesn't stop and keeps going, that's rape!

if they're just play acting then that needs to be clear in the text. because it obviously wasn't clear to me. if the text can be read as abusive then that a valid reading. you can disagree but ti doesn't make your reading the true/accurate one. just different.

also shen yuan cannot attack him now because the whole point of the story is that binghe's blackening and the fate on the world rests on shen yuan accepting and loving him. aka enduring the sex that binghe wants to have. shen yuan knows binghe wont stop or slow down bc during the actual sex, he doesn't fucking listen to him and keeps going. this is classic abusive behaviour, acting nice one moment and fucked up the next and its real sad you can't see that.

shen yuan is notoriously an unreliable narrator who excuses what binghe does. why the fuck would he suddenly start being honest to himself? he does that with the og binghe and he does it with this one. of course he's going to find whatever justifications he can because leaving binghe is not an option for him. the world would end as it almost did before because he refused/fought back before lol he literally never fights back after that point bc he realizes he has to give binghe what he wants to save the world. its literally the trope, sex to save the world. he only has sex bc the world would be at risk otherwise, aka he doesn't actually want the sex.

anyway have fun justifying this shit i guess. i just hope your attitude irl is different.

i kept my comments in the tags for a reason babe. why the fuck did you screenshot and reblog if you didn't want me to reply? if you don't want a discussion, don't start one! hence why i kept it to tags.

The irony of Shen Jiu stans is that they think they’ve unlocked some secret gotcha of the narrative by using his traumatic past to justify his abusive actions towards others, but in reality, svsss already predicts this behavior with the fan reaction to the character Luo Binghe in Proud Immortal Demon Way. That reaction is what’s being critiqued by svsss!

#svsss #svsss meta

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bigskydreaming · 4 years ago

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I am once more begging people, BEGGING, to at least READ Batman #416 if you’re going to cite every moment of Dick meeting Jason and then blowing up at Bruce, except in a totally ‘that’s not at all how it happened’ kinda way.

If I have to read ONE MORE sizzling hot take about how Dick blew up at Bruce and stormed off at the end of that encounter, when THIS is how it ACTUALLY ended....

Ah yes, the famous Dick Grayson temper, better described as ‘someone else loses their shit at Dick and fandom twists it into the exact opposite so he’s actually the bad guy all along.’

Was Dick heated before that point? Yup. Did he have reason to be? Also yup. Did Bruce, however, have reason to be heated that Dick had the gall to be coming back to his childhood home to confront him about the fact that after eighteen months of not speaking, when Bruce is the one who CHOSE to not even say goodbye to Dick or make any effort to still make a place for Dick in his life after firing him, with the only possible indication in all that time through which Dick was expected to come up with even an INKLING that Bruce missed him was discovering from reading the paper that Bruce had given his old mantle to a new, even younger partner? Its gonna be a big fat NOPE from me, guys.

There’s an exchange between them a few pages before this that always resonated with me....

Bruce: The truth is, I taught you everything I could. It was time for you to step out on your own.

Dick: So you figured the best thing for you to do was drive me out of your life, right? That’s exactly what you do to anyone who gets too close. Always hurt them before they have a chance to hurt you. It didn’t matter to you that I didn’t have any life other than the one we shared.

Like, I can not express any more clearly why it drives me so B-A-N-A-N-A-S to see people spin this so that it was Bruce that was somehow the victim of his son’s tempestuous, nomadic ways. Like he was somehow left behind, that Dick outgrew him or moved on, and everything Dick felt about Robin after the fact was him throwing spoiled temper tantrums that someone dared pick up something he no longer wanted. Umm. No times infinity and beyond.

Bruce was the one with all the power. Bruce was the one making all the choices. All Dick had, at most, was the choice to either stay somewhere Bruce seemed intent on driving him away from, or go somewhere else. This issue clearly expressed that like. Bruce wasn’t open to talking. Not when he fired Dick as Robin, there was no negotiating that, and even throughout this whole encounter here, where Dick comes here and says “I think you owe me some explanations” because based on everything Bruce was doing and how radically opposed those actions are to the last interactions he and Bruce had, which had a HUGE impact on Dick’s life, yes, he WAS owed explanations here, make no mistake....even here, Bruce spends the whole encounter acting like he’s being unfairly interrogated, like its trying his patience to even have to deal with Dick being there at all....

Phones work two ways, Bruce. There’s two people in this dynamic. If you haven’t heard from Dick in eighteen months, its equally true that he hasn’t heard from you in eighteen months. And if you missed him so damn much, you know what was always a perfectly valid way to express that, which DIDN’T involve anyone else? Picking up the damn phone and calling Dick and telling him that.

Bruce acts like that was never even an option, like HE was the one stuck with limited choices based on Dick’s behavior throughout all this time, and that’s just flat out, unconditionally, one hundred percent, NOT TRUE. Bruce was the one in charge. The one calling the shots. The one with the resources, the power, the authority. Dick was ALWAYS the one who had more to lose, of the two of them.

And Bruce knew all this when he took Dick in. He knew all this when he took Robin away from Dick while the latter was still a teenager, still living at home. And he was the one who failed to even so much as OFFER Dick an alternative take on how he could still be there, still be in Bruce’s life, part of his family, still share in being part of his life, the life the two of them had shared, now that Bruce had made the choice that Dick no longer had the option of living out his part of that life in the manner they’d BOTH built up for him originally.

And yet for so many years, fandom has added insult to injury by acting like the cherry on top here, Bruce giving away the very mantle he took from Dick, like this was somehow completely reasonable because in comparison, Dick is the one being unreasonable. People completely gloss over that little act of Bruce’s to focus instead on how Dick reacted, instead of giving that betrayal of trust its own fair due and focus, and the problem is....they don’t even actually focus on how Dick actually acted! Again, notice it was Dick who approached Bruce, and Bruce who told Dick to leave. It was Dick who had actual cause to be angry, but Bruce who blew up and broke shit because Dick dared demand answers.

And this is the way Dick leaves things with Jason, btw. I know people know this part by now, mostly at least, about the phone number and such, but how many people have actually SEEN how that played out rather than just heard it summarized in a dry recitation of events that underplays just how that interaction went?

Like, that wasn’t just Dick acting like this was being FORCED upon him and bleeding reluctance at every turn. He went above and fucking beyond to make Jason feel welcomed and secure in his position as Robin. But that’s not how the narrative goes in fandom, is it? Even when acknowledging this part, people act like Dick was at most doing the bare minimum, instead of acknowledging that Dick didn’t owe anyone this at all. No, it wasn’t Jason’s fault he became Robin, but NONE of this was Dick’s fault, Dick’s choice, or Dick’s RESPONSIBILITY. He wasn’t living at home, in Bruce’s life, and he wasn’t adopted yet let alone even still Bruce’s ward at this point. He’d aged out at eighteen. Dick had NO actual ties to Bruce and by extension Jason at this particular moment in time, and thus no ACTUAL obligations to either of them, no matter how much fandom harps on him having failed Jason as a brother back during this time when more accurately, Bruce was actively failing Dick as a father - as in not even being one, but Dick’s responsibilities towards a family he didn’t have at the moment are supposed to be still intact? NOPE. Don’t think so.

But Dick, INSTEAD, puts Jason FIRST, puts him OVER his obviously hurt and bitter feelings to focus on what’s best for Jason here, and gives him literally everything he CAN to do right by Jason here. He gives Jason his own old costume and clear approval, cementing Jason’s place as Robin in a way not even Bruce could when giving it to Jason, because it was never Bruce’s to actually pass on. Jason even wonders earlier in the issue if Dick might want his old role back, and Dick puts that fear to rest, without any hesitation or doubt.

In addition, Dick offers up support and solidarity he doesn’t owe Jason, doesn’t owe anyone, because its HIS time, HIS support, its not something someone can take for granted and yet too many people do....especially considering that in the hyper-fixation on how much support and time Dick supposedly DIDN’T offer or grant Jason, most people pay next to no attention to the fact that it wasn’t like Dick was being given time or support by Bruce, ie Dick is going out of his way to offer stuff he’s not even getting himself, because he RECOGNIZES from that what its like not to have it. Basically what I mean is all that talk about Dick being a hypocrite for doing to others what he complains about Bruce not doing for him? Patently untrue, as we see here, because this is Dick actively acting upon what he’s missing out on by making sure that others don’t miss out on it because of Bruce’s failings or emotional repression.

And look at the end result.....Jason’s enjoying his teamup with Dick, these aren’t two people who look pained at being forced into proximity or acting like the other is a burden to be around or thinking the other doesn’t really want to be here. They were comfortable from practically the word go, because Dick knows how to make people uncomfortable but he also knows how to make people comfortable, and he made the CHOICE, the INTENT to make sure he was someone Jason felt WANTED to be there with him, the complete opposite of someone who is taking out their bitterness or resentment on their replacement or at least not trying to hide it very well.

So my question is.....what the hell else is it people wanted Dick to do? When they cite this issue specifically, at least, when they talk about the time Dick went to Gotham to confront Bruce about Robin, when they talk about the phone number or the costume or the teamup or the things that so often get mentioned in passing like they’re insignificant or the bare minimum or mere formalities that do nothing to take away from all the supposed OTHER asshole behavior that Dick allegedly heaped on Jason despite never actually happening anywhere, even a little bit, and thus that some people claim is just an extrapolation of how Dick PROBABLY acted off the page, given his clear resentment and jealousy....umm. Huh? Based off THIS? Seriously, I mean it. What ELSE was Dick supposed to have done, to counter that take, what else could he POSSIBLY have done to do right by Jason here, that he didn’t actually already do? What exactly did people want from this character, in order to not hold this eternal grudge they have against him for what a big old jerk he was to Jason, who did nothing to deserve it - with that part being true at least, and literally WHY Dick made the point to recognize that and not take out his feelings on Jason?

Like, this will never not be an axe for me to grind because like. The SPIN fandom always gives all this, when look at the last page of this issue......Bruce is watching from a distance, and even he’s like thanks Dick, and that honestly bugs me so much. Because in the end, the only one of these three characters who DIDN’T get what he wanted here, was Dick. Jason got the validation and security as Robin he was looking for, the approval of his predecessor, and words of advice and an offer to listen and be there should he ever want to talk. Bruce got Dick’s validation of the actions Bruce took that he had no right to take when giving his old mantle to Jason, but that Dick ratified all the same, even if it was for Jason’s sake and not Bruce’s. Bruce still got the closure on that particular mistake of his, with the evidence that Dick was willing to see past it for Jason’s sake rather than drag it out....like. Dick is the only one who didn’t get what he was looking for there, he didn’t even get an apology from Bruce for overstepping when he passed on Dick’s mantle, an acknowledgment that this was WRONG, the most Dick got was Bruce admitting for a single panel that he missed him.....before telling Dick to leave and get out and effectively taking back anything Dick could have possibly taken away from that admittance. Because what the fuck does it matter if someone misses you if even though they finally have you right there in front of them, they still tell you to leave again anyway?

In conclusion, I hate this issue, lol, because everybody seems to know what’s in it and yet practically nobody ever seems interested in referencing what’s ACTUALLY in it. Instead just forever playing telephone with the most bad faith interpretation of Dick’s actions possible.

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kaizokuou-ni-naru · 4 years ago

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The Voyage So Far: Paramount War (Part One)

east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || whole cake island || wano (1 | 2)

the introduction of the celestial dragons really is just so brutally effective. this is the first time we see them, and before they even show up on page they immediately establish themselves as both absolutely powerful and absolutely despicable. everyone is watching them commit atrocities in broad daylight, and nobody dares say a word.

i mentioned it back in the enies lobby post, i think, with spandam, but oda is very, very good at creating villains who it just feels so good and so deeply satisfying to see them get annihilated, and the celestial dragons are maybe the crowning example of it.

i really like how none of the strawhats are really intimidated or impressed at all by the celestial dragons, in sharp contrast to how everyone else responds to them. some of that is ignorance, but you can’t tell me zoro would have acted any differently in this scene had he known charloss was a member of the world’s ruling class. all the power the celestial dragons have comes from fear; of course their greatest weakness is someone who just doesn’t care.

obviously this moment is just excellent, no qualifiers needed, but one thing i really love about it is how all the bad shit that results from this does not detract from the sheer satisfaction of what happens at the auction house at all. like, even though this leads directly to the strawhats getting crushed by the pacifista and kizaru and scattered by kuma, i’ve never once caught myself thinking luffy shouldn’t have done this.

i’m a huge fan of how rayleigh introduces himself. he knocks out the whole action house with conqueror’s haki, but luffy is completely unaffected, and the two of them just watch each other down the aisle for a moment as everyone else collapses around them.

i don’t know that i’ll ever get over the fact that oda created and designed the supernovas as he was writing sabaody. they’re all such distinct and memorable characters, and almost all of them have fit neatly into the post-timeskip story one way or another. they really feel like a part of the world that was always meant to be there.

i think the way roger as a character is handled is very, very cool, because we don’t really meet him as a person- when we first learn of him, on the very first page, he’s a myth, a story, a framing device. which is fitting, because that’s all the characters know him as. the rest of the world doesn’t know what roger was like as a person or why he did what he did, and so neither do our main characters and neither do we.

and then we learn, slowly, by following in roger’s steps and meeting the characters who did know him, like rayleigh and whitebeard and garp. and through their testimony and memories, over the course of the story, roger goes from being a faceless myth to being a proper character.

i think this panel, where luffy says he just wants to be the freest person on the seas, might be my favorite luffy panel. if nothing else, it’s definitely one of the ones i think about the most in terms of his characterization. luffy’s been defining himself by his dream since the very start of the story- he’s the man who’s going to be king of the pirates! but it’s only here that we learn what that goal actually means to him, and what he actually really wants. he just wants to be free.

the tone shift of sabaody really is impeccable. because up until a certain point, everything seems pretty par for the course. the strawhats make some new friends, get into trouble for their sakes, get into a hard fight where they all have to work together but eventually scrape out a win.

but then kizaru shows up, and another pacifista, and kuma himself, and for the first time in the story luffy says this is a fight they can’t win-

and then zoro disappears, and all of the audience’s expectations for how this is going to play out get thrown completely out the window.

it’s not that we haven’t seen luffy upset before this- his fight with usopp in water 7 and merry’s funeral are the two obvious examples that come to mind- but we’ve never, to this point, seen him as crushed as he is at the end of sabaody. it really drives the abrupt tone shift of sabaody home, because we’re used to seeing luffy be generally cheerful, and if not that, at stubbornly determined to power through. but here, he’s just wrecked- and the paramount war saga is just getting started.

every time i see hancock i’m reminded what a lesbian i am.

i’m talking a lot about character introductions this post, but a lot of really good characters get introduced in the first half of this saga, from the supernovas to rayleigh to jinbe. on that note, i really like hancock’s introduction, for reasons similar to what i said about roger earlier. she’s introduced as a cartoonishly evil one-dimensional bitch, and she leans hard into that characterization for the first half or so of amazon lily.

and then luffy narrowly keeps her and her sisters’ worst fear from being realized, and her facade starts to slip, and we get to know her as- still kind of a bitch, but also a deeply traumatized person who has very valid reasons for being the way she is, and someone who is overall a lot more complicated than she appears at first glance.

one of my favorite things about luffy is his ability to always, always defy expectations. hancock is dead certain he’ll take her offer of a ship and abandon marguerite and the others, but he doesn’t even hesitate before doing the exact opposite. luffy is always turning people’s worlds upside down.

i have a friend who coined the term “conflict of interest arc” to refer to the arcs where a crewmate is forced to choose between the crew and some obligation or baggage from their past- arlong park for nami, whole cake island for sanji, etc.

marineford is luffy’s conflict of interest arc- he has to make the choice, here, to prioritize saving ace over reuniting with his crew. where it differs from all other such arcs, then, is that nobody else can come to back him up. he’s well and truly on his own.

i love how thoroughly expectations get turned on their head with jinbe. for the longest time, all we know about him is that he’s a shichibukai and arlong’s former captain, so given what arlong was like and what the shichibukai encountered thus far have been like, it’s a fair guess to assume he’s pretty awful.

and then we meet him, and he’s ace’s friend, sitting bloody and beaten in the deepest dungeons of impel down for refusing to fight in an unjust war.

bon-chan is really one of the greatest examples of one piece’s stubborn refusal to treat any character as disposable, and oda’s endless ability to find new and interesting ways to fit them into the story. in pretty much any other manga, it would be all but guaranteed that we wouldn’t see a character like bon-chan again after the conclusion of the alabasta saga. here, luffy straight up would not have made it to marineford without him. this is true for mr. 3 too- who would’ve thought his ability to duplicate keys out of wax, established and promptly forgotten some three hundred chapters ago, would be the thing that let luffy free ace on the scaffold?

magellan is a good antagonist. i’m not saying i like him- i don’t particularly- but he’s a great antagonist for a couple reasons, and one of them is that his powers are terrifying. magellan is essentially what might be called in video game terminology an advancing wall of doom- the only viable strategy for dealing with him is to run.

i had more i wanted to say here but it literally kept turning into a rant about one piece’s take on morality no matter how many times i tried to keep it short, so i’ll settle for just saying that magellan is an antagonist but not a villain and i think that’s interesting.

the absolutely ridiculous, eclectic mix of people that luffy winds up gathering to escape impel down is possibly my favorite part of the whole arc. i just think it’s so fun and so characteristic of him that even when separated from his crew, he winds up attracting the weirdest, most powerful bunch of people around to break out of prison with.

the relationship between luffy and blackbeard is a really interesting one. it’s been plenty clear for some time that blackbeard is almost certainly going to be luffy’s final opponent to become pirate king, and yet they’ve been mostly running on parallel paths through the world, only occasionally coinciding (such as here and in jaya) and generally seeming pretty unconcerned with each other. it’s a really cool way to handle the built to an eventual showdown, and i really like it.

this is one of my favorite spreads just for sheer smile factor. i love it so much. i think we should get to see jinbe’s whale shark buddies more often, it’s a crime we haven’t seen them since this.

#the voyage so far #one piece #long post #arc: sabaody #arc: amazon lily #arc: impel down #not japanese

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queerofthedagger · 4 years ago

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I would love to hear your essay on why Merlin didnt own telling Morgana about his magic, because it honestly makes me mad when people say he should have since he too had magic

Ooh hey, thanks so much for the ask! And about one of my favourite pet peeves too 😂❤️ I have a lot to say on that because yeah, it makes me mad too. This got really long, so I apologize for that in advance... (I tried to put some of it under a readmore but tumblr is being a pain again.)

Obligatory disclaimer that obviously, everyone’s entitled to their opinion and I’m not aiming to change anyone’s mind.

First of all, I think it gets ignored sometimes that Merlin didn’t actually leaver her alone or didn’t try to help. He very much did so in “The Nightmare Begins,” by finding out how to get her to the Druids. This is directly after she tells him about her belief that she has magic and that she’s scared, and he does so against the explicit orders/advice from both Gaius and Kilgharrah.

When he goes to find her because Uther is executing people and she refuses to go back, he doesn’t pressure her. People are getting killed about it, and yet when she says, “I'm sorry. I'm never going back. These are my people. They're like me. I don't feel so alone here. Do you understand?” his only answer is “Better than anyone.”

But yeah, it does tell him that when it comes down to a choice between self-preservation and saving others, Morgana will choose the former. And that’s fine, to some degree! People are allowed self-preservation and putting themselves first, and Merlin and Arthur often are self-sacrificing to a truly unhealthy degree. That being said, I personally find it questionable if accepting the death of innocent, also at least under-privileged if not oppressed people for your own sake is the morally “right” choice but as I don’t want to start a philosophical rant here, let’s leave it at that.

There’s—imo—more than one reason why Merlin didn’t owe her anything; first of all, I personally don’t think you ever owe anything of this kind to anyone, ever. Just because someone tells me a huge secret, doesn’t mean I have to do the same, especially if it’s a life-threatening one; all you “owe” is kindness, understanding, and keeping the secret that was entrusted to you. All of which Merlin did.

Then there’s the whole axis of power to their relationship; Morgana might be nice and treat Gwen and Merlin with respect, but that doesn’t erase the huge difference of station between them. Since the first week Merlin arrived in Camelot, he saw that the word of a servant, his word, meant absolutely nothing against a knight, noble, or actual royal.

Morgana didn’t hand him any power over herself when she revealed her secret. Merlin, on the other hand, would’ve handed her complete power over his life or death. I’m not saying Merlin would’ve ever revealed her secret under any circumstances—I actually think if he had told Arthur in season 3, Arthur would’ve believed him; he’s proven he would, more than once. But it wasn’t only about being believed, it was also, still, about not giving her away. (Though to be fair here—what it was also about was that she threatened to reveal that he poisoned her. Which, obviously, fair to some degree but if she did that, I doubt she would’ve revealed why he did, which ultimately only plays back into my point that Morgana’s loyalty is conditional. Which, again, is a valid stance to have, but not that of a person I’d trust with such a secret.)

Anyway. Just because Merlin never would’ve revealed her secret, doesn’t mean that the difference in their potential power over each other wasn’t there, and it’s important. Especially if you look back to the start of season 2 where—even before she turned her back on Camelot—Morgana made it clear that for her, self-preservation prevails when it comes right down to it.

Well, and thirdly, there’s also the matter of destiny and responsibility if Merlin’s own safety and well-being isn’t already enough (which it is, just in case there was any doubt about my opinion on that matter.) Of course, in season 2, Merlin’s not yet as fixated on Arthur as he is later, not even on destiny, as his intention to leave Camelot shows (if he had stayed away is another question altogether but I digress.) Still, Kilgharrah made it pretty clear that this was about more than Merlin, and while Merlin definitely didn’t always listen to him, the threat was immense.

And it wasn’t only about Arthur either, I’d even say that in the great scheme of things, Arthur played relatively little into this decision; it was about his people as a whole, and it was about Gaius because if Merlin had been revealed, Gaius had already proven that he’d try taking the fall if not get accused of harbouring a sorcerer. I don’t think this alone would’ve been enough, but taken together with the other points, I think it did have some weight in Merlin’s decision and I also think that it was a valid choice to make even beyond the “you don’t have to reveal anything to anyone even if it’s only because you don’t want to.”

Last but not least, I also think it’s important to keep in mind how long they’ve known each other which, at that point, were maybe two years. Merlin’s been most likely told from the day he could understand it to never reveal himself to anyone. Until Freya, Merlin never tells anyone on his own volition (except maybe Will, we don’t know, but they’ve known each other their whole lives), and it’s impossible to compare the circumstances. Just because Morgana told him in what she herself calls a moment of weakness does not mean Merlin has any obligation to do the same.

I want to reiterate that he did try to help her, actively with the Druids, and also passively by reassuring her that there’s nothing wrong with her and that he will keep her secret. This is already more than he would have to do—the whole thing with the Druids put Merlin at risk too, arguably much more than her. Of course, that has never stopped him which is what we love about him, but I think that it’s more than enough. Merlin is not responsible for fixing every little thing in Camelot, he’s not responsible for other people’s actions and decisions, and he did more than could be expected of him.

Which is also why I think that if he had told her about his magic, it wouldn’t have changed anything in the long run, but as this is already way too long, let’s leave that can of worms for another time...

#merlin emrys #morgana pendragon #merlin meta #mona's rambling #this is more an out-of-canon point but I also just prefer Morgana having the agency to owning her actions tbh #answered asks #aeonthedimensionalgirl

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utilitycaster · 4 years ago

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Sure! Why is Taz Ethersea validating why a pre-calamity campaign would be a bad idea?

Okay first off I do want to thank you all! I think I probably would have eventually made a post, because opinions are stored in the Tumblr blog but I don't think I would have thought through it beyond the simplest answer of "actual play D&D is uniquely unsuited for a narrative with a foregone conclusion" but I think it goes beyond that and getting these questions led me to think about it much more.

Also: this post will be full of spoilers for prior TAZ and Critical Role campaigns.

That simple answer is still the right one. I'll admit I have many biases - I don't like stories where the ending is total failure, vs. something bittersweet and mixed; I am very picky about my cataclysm/apocalypse narratives; and I like to avoid spoilers and be surprised by endings. But in particular, one of the greatest elements of D&D actual play is that the long shot is possible. You can roll that 5% chance of becoming conscious instead of dying, or 15% chance of divine intervention, or what have you in a desperate situation. You still might fail, but there's a chance.

Which is one of the other great elements of D&D actual play is that the long shot failure is also possible; the 5% chance of dying sooner than expected or fumbling what should be an easy hit (or an enemy succeeding when they shouldn't).

A big part of why I'm struggling with TAZ Ethersea right now isn't actually the forgone conclusion. A big part is the mechanics, which just don't come off as terribly suited for an audio-only medium (even with the shared map, we don't get the images drawn in sync with the podcast which is what you'd need to really follow along properly). But it doesn't help that I know that when the Storm comes, they at least in some capacity make it. A lot of what appeals to me in the Quiet Year is the map-making and description of a small community and the idea of worldbuilding as the end-goal rather than a starting point, but a significant part of the premise is that the community has a year, but does not realize it. They know they have to prepare for winter, but they don't know that winter will be marked by the Frost Giants. And I don't begrudge the McElroys for using this for worldbuilding, for a number of in-game and out-of-game reasons, but the fact that they do know they have a year and that we as listeners know that obviously some kind of undersea society is able to be built after that year due to the premise of the main portion of the campaign has taken out most of the tension.*

We know how the Age of Arcanum ends. We don't know details, but we know what happens. We also know the Calamity is generations long (Halas being both a few generations after Aeor's destruction and also pre-divergence), and ends in the Divergence, and afterwards the world slowly rebuilds.

Any campaign therefore has a couple of options. Either it would have to be long before the Calamity to allow for some degree of freedom of choice in what the players are doing (which is generally not the vibe I'm getting from people interested in a pre-Calamity campaign), and also...I don't really get what that accomplishes that a new relatively unexplored location wouldn't. The other would be that it's either a campaign that never gets to any kind of significant catastrophe aversion goal (which...while I do not believe actual play casts are in any way obligated to cater to the fandom other than general sensitivity towards other people, stopping some kind of large-scale terrible event and/or big bad is a pretty central concept of the genre even when other elements of it are played with), or one that we know fails in that goal (or at least...only succeeds in saving about a third of all people) before it starts.

It's true that usually, we as viewers go into a D&D story expecting some measure of success (I could write a whole separate essay on why TPKs aren't great viewing for a long-running campaign) but CR in particular has made it clear that there is still a capacity for some amount of failure, or mixed success; there is still perma-death, or victory at great cost, or initial failure that has consequences that cannot be avoided even by later success. Something all actual play DM/GMs (and in many cases, regular old home game DM/GMs) have to do is walk that nearly invisible line where truly, success and failure are both options but total all-consuming failure is extremely difficult to achieve while still not making things seem too easy or unearned. A pre-calamity story puts that already monumental balancing act on Extremely Hard Mode because a large amount of failure as well as a small amount of success is inherently built in.

It also makes it much harder for stories like the one we had in C2 about Aeor, or for that matter, C1 about Vecna, to resonate in the same way, since both used the mystery of the pre-Calamity/Calamity eras to tell those stories. I love dramatic irony but there's a limit; there should be some mystery for the audience and players, not just the characters. If a creator puts a huge mysterious cataclysm in the past, there's a reason for that! Ethersea could have just been "it's an underwater society because it's fantasy" and that would have been perfectly fine, but it's not! That's a creative choice! The mystery of the Calamity is almost certainly by design!

In the end the thing that gets me about TAZ Ethersea is that I usually love the worldbuilding/character concept episodes of D&D shows that have them, and the Q&A/talkback episodes...but I'm learning that I want people to talk about those finished products in a big-picture way. I may be guessing here but I think people want pre-Calamity lore, but they would not actually enjoy a full, 100+ episode campaign of pre-Calamity happenings that is both hamstrung by forgone conclusions and may hamstring other stories that are to take place in the future. I think some comics, or a novel, or a small scope EXU mini-series, or like...a really long tweet thread from Matt about some pre-Calamity lore would actual satisfy that curiosity more effectively while also allowing them to preserve the important mysteries. Or, building from previous campaigns, having C3 exist a few decades after C2, where the consequences of the many archaeological expeditions and the return of the Aeormatons are becoming widespread, would similarly give us the ancient lore while still providing the open, unpredictable world actual play is uniquely suited for.

*just to make it clear: I'm complaining about the Ethersea setup epidosdes because I love complaining about things but if I actually found it wholly unenjoyable I would stop listening and skip ahead, completionism be damned. There are plenty of bright spots, mostly when they stop following the rules of the game and introduce specific character beats, and I am excited by the consequences, it's just...almost 5 hours long and still going.

#critical role #taz #taz ethersea #you know I never got super into star trek not for any real reason i just never did #but my family friends had this poster of star trek philosophy with the line having a thing is not so pleasant as wanting #and this is how i feel about so many fan theories and ships and weird fixations #i don't think people actually want the consequences of that thing or the story it tells #i think they want to want it and don't know the difference #not me though i know it #(but in all seriousness i do both believe this and also believe i fall into it at times as well)

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bookwyrminspiration · 4 years ago

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(pyro here! i feel like this is...very ramble-y and i apologize if this doesn't make sense, and no obligation to post if it all feels like i'm just going in circles or for any other reason)

this could just be me, but i find keeper to be so interesting in so many ways but mostly because of how little actual good guys and bad guys there are, if that makes sense? it doesn't seem like it on the surface, and the story seems rather clear-cut if you don't think about it too hard, but there's no character or group in the series that's completely perfect and hasn't done anything wrong ever, iirc? like, the council is very obviously not too pressed over whether their actions are morally right and they're the government of a species that's supposedly all about being righteous, and neither are the black swan nor neverseen, which i find really interesting to look at, especially when the protagonists start to realize these things and question them, outwardly or inwardly.

and even any developed individual characters aren't clear-cut. yes, sophie is our protagonist, but she's also an arsonist that frequently breaks the laws of her world and has nearly started a war by breaking a treated because she was curios as to what was in an ogre king's mind. linh is- well, she's the token nice asian girl, but she also flooded an entire city, twice, and has most definitely killed people. dex may not have done anything really wrong, but he still created the ability restrictor, a device that put his best friend through days/weeks of torment, all because he was happy to recieve attention from the council. and that's just three of the main characters.

and i'm under the impression you really don't care about the council (which is fine and totally valid!) but it's still so interesting how the three important characters from there follow this as well. oralie was revealed to be sophie's mother meaning she committed treason and should probably be in exile, kenric was actively hiding important information from oralie (and knew about her being sophie's mother and therefor was a willing accomplice to treason and should also be in exile), and bronte has gotten...better(?) in the later books? maybe?

i suppose im wishing that shannon will deliver on this in the future, but im not really getting my hopes up. sophie is very interesting, but the books have always framed her actions as the right ones to take, no matter how terrible the consequences could've been, and they definitely frame the rest of the "good guys" as, well, good people who do good things, which isn't exactly true in most cases. i just...i guess i find it really interesting. i'd also be interested to hear your thoughts on this! on the surface, keeper really does seem like a rather basic series, but it's cool how if you dig even just a little deeper you start getting messy.

hello pyro !! nothing to apologize for, I love rambling! and you are in luck because I happen to have so many thoughts about everything all of the time.

and I agree with you! When you first think of keeper—or at least when I do—I seems very black and white, even bland at times in terms of the interest of the characters and the aspects of their world. Especially when you’re an older reader and have since read more adult books with more complex characters. Which is common. Because these are middle grade series and there’s more limitations of what topics authors can reasonably cover. They’re being careful. Because their audience are young and impressionable and despite their best efforts may be influenced subconsciously. So they have to lay things out more clearly, explaining that actions are bad when adult readers can put that together themselves.

(I know there are a lot of younger people in this fandom so let me clarify: I am not saying you are incapable of critical thought. However, thorough analysis becomes easier with experience, and adults and older readers will often have more experience with this than you. We’ve also had more time to figure out our own opinions and morals. This is not meant to put you down, just remind you that there are inevitable differences between us).

Back to what you were saying, pyro, despite its appearance, when you take a closer look there’s actually not a lot of black and white—or at least not as much as you’d think. I know there’s a canon line where Sophie says something like “the Black Swan were…the good guys?” (paraphrased from the first book). Which makes sense because at this point in time she’s twelve, where it makes sense for her to have that very black and white mindset. Good and bad. Pleasant and unpleasant. it’s a very all nothing mindset, which I know I also had at that age. But as she’s grown older in the series, she’s thinking about things from a more mixed perspective. She’s bargaining with herself and deciding what’s worth what and if the consequences are worth the risks, making decisions she likely would’ve condemned earlier in her life. Like setting the storehouse on fire. That’s a very loaded and controversial decision from her. It’s neither good nor bad. It accomplishes something she wants—sending the Neverseen scrambling and setting them back—and she decided that was worth the consequences—burning potential information and doing something that might’ve been previously against her morals. It’s not the “right” decision to make. It’s just the decision she makes.

We see this a lot with Black Swan too. I’m actually going to bring their oath into this: “I will do everything in my power to help my world.” It seems simple and straightforward at first, but thinking about it, there’s no qualifications for what “help” means. And there’s no limit on what they’ll do, just that they’ll do it if they’re capable. This leaves it open for a lot of morally questionable decisions, like creating Sophie. Did creating Sophie help their world? She’s already started to make positive changes (like at Exillium) and she’s not done yet, so you could say yes she’s helping. And they were capable of bringing her into existence. So they did. It was in their power and it helped, so they did. Despite using Emma’s body, despite forcing Sophie into this situation.

with the Neverseen, they seem more like misguided anti-heroes (if I’m using that term right), doing “bad” things for “good” reasons. Fintan is making these bold statements and undermining the council, actions viewed as negative, to try and highlight the unfair discrimination in their system and reform it—a motive one could consider reasonable and positive.

as for the council, the most notable event this applies to is Sophie’s ability restrictor in Everblaze. This was not supported by everyone else, actively hurting out main protagonist, but their reasoning was generally sound. Sophie had already broken several laws at this point as was causing unrest in their society, the one they’re supposed to govern. And she’d used her abilities yet again to go against those rules, this time with incredible serious consequences. So if she refuses to listen, what do you do? Take away those abilities. Keep her from hurting this society further. There are more specific examples of this, like Oralie and Kenric’s cache, but this is getting long so i can talk about those later if you’d like /g

part of what is intriguing about these characters is how they’re not so black and white on the surface despite the world seeming to be so easily divided into good and bad, so it’s fascinating to talk about how those parts are actually displayed. You brought up a lot of really good topics and I love talking about this!! /g

if you’d like me to expand on any specific part more or have more thoughts of your own to share, you’re more than welcome to send another ask <33

#I kinda zoned out there just talking about the characters #so I don’t remember everything I said #but damn do I have So Many Thoughts #character analysis my beloved #pyro you’re incredible #I love you /p #if you’re comfortable with that #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc fandom #kotlc character analysis #long post #quil’s queries #nonsie #anonymous #pyrokinetic-loser

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mc-critical · 4 years ago

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Would you agree that it’s almost impossible for motherhood in the harem to not be toxic to some degree? Especially so in mother-daughter relationships, but still prominent in mother-son relationships as well. (Also I’m not making this observation about harem motherhood to say that harem fatherhood is a lesser evil or non-toxic. If anything it’s even more toxic and damaging..especially given that it was such a norm for fathers to kill their children and feel completely justified in doing so, but that’s a discussion for another day.) I’ve observed this in almost every mother in the series. With Hafsa and her daughters (remember Sah at Mihrimah’s wedding talking about how her mother forced her and all of her sister’s to marry, and based on what it sounded like, at an extremely young age against their will), with Halime and Dilruba (Halime was geniunely okay with the possibility that Dilruba might die after Kösem kidnapped her if it meant sparing Mustafa’s life), with Hürrem and Mihrimah (forcing her to marry Rüstem at 17 years of age and using manipulation for years to keep her daughter in an unhappy marriage). The list goes on and these are just a few examples but I can’t not see a pattern here. Even with their princes there was the constant forcing a love-interest for upon their sons (Mahidevran I believe forced Fatma on Mustafa if I remember correctly? My memory is spotty there so tell me if I’m wrong) or eliminating their sons love interests in often brutal ways if it was self-serving (Hürrem killing Beyezeid’s harem to cover up Huricihan’s murder.) I almost believe there is no way for motherhood/fatherhood to be completely healthy in an enviornment like the harem especially given the examples.

Yes, I definetly agree with you on this one. It's truly almost impossible for mothers to not be toxic in some way in the environment that is the harem, because so much of it is dedicated on perpetuating such toxic behavior in both the dynastic and non-dynastic sultanas.

The first and foremost thing a woman who has just entered in the harem has to think about is how to survive, how to lend in a more comfortable position. And the first step in doing that is going to a halvet and bearing a child from the sultan. But that's not so easy, since she both has to make a solid impression and fight so many rivals on the way. The harem encourages competitiveness, putting people against each other for a single goal and the ambition to climb yourself as high in the hierarchy as you can, all of which leads to constant stress, paranoia and opportunism. As we see with so many characters and their arcs throughout the series, the longer you get to be in the harem, the longer you adapt to the system (which is a central theme of the franchise for a reason), the longer you endure, you just get used to it and at many aspects, absorb it. It's only natural at this point this would transfer to the children of the mothers, as well, because they are not only children, they are, as sad and unfortunate as it is, the keys to both full survival and success in the harem that can turn into tools for their mothers to mould when it's necessary. Because these mothers perfectly acknowledge that they aren't alone. When you bear a child, you do get to have a sense of comfort, but that comfort is only temporary and by the realization that there are other mothers with other children that will turn into deadly rivals for your own child, it slowly transitions into the next phase of the game of life in the harem: the fight for the throne where you have to fight harder than ever, actually. The most difficult part of it all seems to be just beginning and you have to use your best virtues as a player in the harem to win the war the system put you into. And a healthy relationship with your children, as we know it, sadly isn't a part of that.

There is this one exact aspect of the toxicity of some mothers you referred to here that comes more due to the exertion of the "mother knows best" attitude. No matter how many allies and supporters their one prince, in example, has, the mother is the one who would always vouch for him and would never turn his back on him, if only they're their ticket to more piece or that they've truly come to love him as they should. The system demands of the mother to raise the prince the best way she knows how and gain as much political advantage as she can, that including all these infamous political marriages. The mothers have to at least give their children sound advice of all things and that's what they also become used to, more or less. And them having these obligations, in a way, to their children, along with having gone through what they have in the harem, all make them believe that their children don't know better. They're the ones that have gone through this and have to stay strong and act pragmatically, not these children that have yet to find out what is going on. And even when they grow older, there is this decent possibility they won't realize the stakes of the game. MCK Bayezid is the most notorious example, with him living a fairly comfy life under Kösem's care when it comes to this that only vanished after Gülbahar came to the castle and he became the favourized heir of the throne and yet, Gülbahar still had to constantly remind him for so long that "he's the center of the fire" and that "they're in a war". MC Mustafa often refused to make pragmatic decisions that would've basically spared his life. Hürrem literally tells Cihangir that he shouldn't meddle in these things, because she knows better and thinks he can't tell the difference from right and wrong. So the mothers usually consider themselves forced to make the hard decisions instead of them, trying to keep all aspects of their life in check. That's why they meddle so much in their love lives, as well, along with their personal opinion and bias for the women they chose to be with, of course. Mahidevran and Valide wanted to marry Mustafa and Aybige for both reasons - Mahidevran both doesn't like Efsun and found the upper hand in a marriage with Aybige. {though it is important to note that Mahidevran specifically monitors Mustafa's love life because of the fear of the possibility of the next Hürrem, too, whose arrival and tradition breaking in the castle are still very deep wounds for her. She got over that eventually with Rumeysa and Mihrunnisa, but it was there and it was really showing at first. She sent Fatma to a halvet in E50 with the intent to distract Efsun away from Mustafa, but when Efsun was already dead, Mahidevran was strictly against all her attempts to sabotage the other concubine Mahidevran was sending and win Mustafa over and even decided to not send her to Manisa exclusively for that, disguising it with that she currently needs her in the castle.} I'm taking about the princes, but it obviously applies to the daughters, too, of course, especially Mihrimah, who also had a long way to go until she figured out what is the game all about and even then that only worked when it was connected to the protection of the family and Hürrem knew it. And while the daughters are perceived to have "less value" than the princes, bound to become sultans, as seen with Halime's relationship with Dilruba, they still play a significant part in the game and help the princes gain yet more security and the mothers influence the matters much more through the vezier or pasha the daughter has married. And it's as important to find the proper candidate, which is why Hürrem was against Taşlicalı and she broke her promise to marry Mihrimah to the person she loved. Leave it to the mothers to make the opportunistic choices that their grown-up children sometimes won't be able to make.

The fight for survival also triggers severe amount of protectiveness that plays a part in the toxicity of the mothers. They always have to keep an eye on the children, because there is the possibility of someone trying to attack them or someone else to try taking advantage of them, which is why, as well as attempting to dictate their actions, they always want to track every single move the sons and/or daughters make in order to dictate their actions. There is this prominent fear of backstabbing, betrayal and murder attempts that just can't let these mothers think or act otherwise.

It's tricky because even though some of them get so engrained into this it becomes a personality trait of theirs or apply personal gained bias when they embrace their toxic motherhood traits, they try their best to maintain cordial relations with their children and show them their genuine affection. There are so many profound mother-son and mother-daughter relationships that are either incredibly interesting on their own, either have so many human interactions with their sons or daughters, in spite of the circumstances. And in the case of, say, Halime and Mustafa, but almost all these relationships qualify, the huge amount of such interactions creates a very fine line between the tender affection and the toxicity the system causes them to show, which is why maybe it could be missed to an extent, but the narrative still does its best to make it obvious enough. It's so sad and chilling that the life in the harem just won't let healthy dynamics in general and if one starts to think for a second that the children may be an exception because they are the closest link to their mothers and the ones most likely to reveal their humanity, it soon becomes clear that this is far from the case. The system leaves nothing and no one untouched.

It becomes even tougher when, knowing the law of Fatih, a mother has to choose between her princes in the inevitable scenario where only they are the only heirs of the throne left. There every possible ounce of a healthy dynamic leaves much faster than usual, because the mothers have to realize sooner or later that they do actually have to make a choice. They love them all with the bottom of their hearts, but there is only one more fit to rule. And there is never a guarantee that the "chosen" or the only surviving prince will never dare to think about executing the law. That choice seems ludicrous, because how would a mother choose from her own children? This conflict is icredibly exploited through Hürrem in S04. She undergoes a subtle arc that has her deal with this precise moral dilemma. It tore apart her belief that the fight would be over after Mustafa's death and all her flaws in terms of Selim and Bayezid's parenting came back to her, with her seeing the problems and inevitable power struggle between them in their fullest power. She couldn't bring things back now, for their conflict had already gone too far. So she goes through fairly lengthy denial of the choice at hand and tries her best to search for a peaceful solution, for both of them to be able to "coexist", but she eventually realizes that this wouldn't be possible and when she did, it was way. too. late. And Hürrem had her preferred candidate for the throne regardless, so when you face that struggle as a mother, it's impossible for your relationship with your children to not be toxic in a way. And I know many mothers out there would relate with Hürrem's internal conflict when it came to this, because no matter how much they've adapted to the circumstances, these are their children, aren't they? The children of their own blood they cared for their whole life up to that moment! How damaging would that be for a mother? Kösem as a mother faced an even more extreme display of this, because she had too many princes and a son on the throne; she not only had to choose between them, she had to eliminate them as a desparate, but apparently necessary measure - she had presumably won, but then she came to realize that her son couldn't rule the country and didn't listen to any advice. As I've said before, her whole S02 arc was her coming to terms that she had to eventually eliminate him, for he stands against not only the country, but her as a representation of said country. She infamously sealed the pact to kill Ibrahim also because he apparently wasn't fit for the country. That tore her apart, but she did it anyway. In her time period, I dare say it's even harder to not have some kind of toxicity present in the mother's relationship with her children, because of its more dynamic rhythm and the ways of ruling in it where women, which are naturally mothers, too, are at the peak of their power and are way more likely to do stuff for its sake alone than in Süleiman's time. So we could argue that it's not only impossible for mothers not to show toxicity in the harem, but that toxicity increased as the franchise progressed, cementing the core contrast between MC and MCK: power for the sake of personal motives vs. power for the sake of power. That obviously has to impact the mothers, for they truly are the main players in this whole game.

I can't lie that it's more probable for the dynastic sultanas (that are not daughters of the sultan) to not show toxicity to their children, since they don't really have that survival fight in front of them and they have to build their families, live in a castle with them and that's about it, but then another problem arises - they have grown in the harem, they have grown with this toxicity. They have been taught this their whole life. They and their children can't exactly have healthy relationships, because the established hierarchy in the harem and the positions of these mothers are stopping them. They are gonna live with the mindset that the son is more important than the daughter (we have Hatice wanting her first baby to be a son) and even if the child is a girl, they would be constantly reminded of their social standing, that they have the blood of the dynasty. Yes, this is way less toxic, but could still bring problems and can't be healthy in a literal sense. Not to mention that ambition within a member of the dynasty isn't a concept to be discarded - Şah Sultan is the perfect example of this, with her wanting to marry Esmahan to Bali Bey, not just because her daughter is okay with this, but also because that marriage would be useful to her goals. Esmahan being the one who proposed it in the first place (as far as I recall?) and her wanting to put it in motion a lot, was only sheer luck.

Motherhoods in the harem are indeed fascinating, but toxic in one way or another. There is a clear pattern in all these relationships that is bound to show itself at some point and the fight for survival may cause mothers to put their own needs above the ones of their children's. And that kept going on and on for the longest time. There's so much humanity in these relationships, but a considerable amount of toxicity, too, that I blame mostly on this gross system.

[Fatherhood in the harem is truly even more toxic, destructive and even dangerous in many areas. Most fathers we've seen in the franchise are sultans and the sultans are notorious with their relenting paranoia of betrayal that manages to go over their own heads. I can go on and on how the same paranoia screwed every single sign of a healthy dynamic between a father and a son especially, rendering it totally nonexistent in a while, but that's truly a post for another day.]

#magnificent century #magnificent century kösem #magnificent century kosem #magnificent century: kösem #ask #stuffandthangs

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pluviophile-bookworm · 4 years ago

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High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: The Rewatch pt. 5

Technically, I shouldn't be doing this right now. But who are we kidding? I miss my Wildcats and this seems like the only thing I can do to see them again right now. So here goes

1x8: The contractually obligated emotional rollercoaster

This episode sure is a lot... I don't know if I'm ready. But it makes no sense to skip this one. I never skip through stuff I love, even when some parts are borderline traumatising. Plus I remember this episode having a bunch of hilarious moments that are definitely worth it.

'I'm really not sure what to say' — Me neither, Miss Jenn, me neither. I'm just sitting here watching this and I know I'm supposed to comment, but I just can't think of what to say. Sometimes the silence just speaks for itself.

'The Lucky Ducky Puppet Pavilion' — I can never overlook that line. Not when I know how much it took for Matt to deliver it. Fun fact: one of my cats is called Lucky, so when his siblings were about to be born, I briefly considered naming them Ducky, Puppet and Pavilion as a joke.

Ah, the El Rey. The place where Miss Jenn totally did not suffer a professional heartbreak. Things are about to get real here. And by real I mean... real dramatic.

I've got to say, I love the duality of Big Red (well, I do love everything about him so that was a no-brainer, but still): doesn't know how to hang a light, but sure does know how to light up a room; amazing with power tools, but took three weeks to make a paper-mache basketball because he kept gluing his fingers together (that last part is far more relatable than I care to admit). I just love him, ok?

The way Carlos acts about Miss Jenn's box of production notes... honestly, I totally get it. I feel like if there's one person at that point who cares about the show much more than anyone else, it's him. And I fully understand why that is. That poor boy has been lonely for too long, and this show is giving him the chance to be part of an accepting community for what feels like the first time in a long time. Just... give my boy Carlito all the hugs.

For a place that allegedly hasn't been used in so long, the El Rey is not nearly dusty enough. I mean, you should see my room if I forget to hoover for longer than a week. And we're talking about years here. There's allegedly mould in that place, but I don't even see dust. Oh well, maybe I would, if it weren't for that lighting — or lack thereof, more like.

'Whatever it says in Miss Jenn's audition file, I am me, and that is the only me I need to be.' — A beautiful sentiment, my dearest EJ. Now maybe hold on to it for a while... just a suggestion.

'Lacks emotional connection to the material' — well, I do have to agree. My first impression of EJ when I was watching the first couple of episodes for the first time was that he was 'too polished to be Troy'. Too much Technician, too little Performer. And I do love my Performers over my Technicians.

Wait, is that a Redlyn background moment I see? I mean, everything is super chaotic and fast-paced, and my two ginger babies are just sitting together on the side of it all. Bonding, I assume. Good for them.

Seb being the only one to know why Natalie is absent, along with the two of them sitting together in 1x1, makes me think... Natalie and Seb are totally besties! I mean, he's basically besties with everyone he ever talks to, so... what can I say, that boy is sunshine incarnate. He deserves all the love and appreciation.

'I know how to hang... out' — gosh, I love this one. And I can only hope everyone was laughing with him, not at him. Because there's nothing to laugh at. My boy got dragged into this whole crew stuff, it's not his fault he doesn't know everything. He's more of an on-stage person than a backstage person anyway. Maybe put him in the spotlight next time and prepare to get your socks knocked off.

No, Ash, your baking club is not at all irrelevant! Honestly, I have nothing but immense admiration for how Ashlyn manages to be in the top two students most dedicated to theatre and do all those other extracurriculars. And she probably has a 4.-something GPA, too. I don't know what the Caswells are feeding their children, but I need it this instant.

'I just don't know how to make things light up' — 'You walk into a room?' — I just... this is one of my favourite Redlyn moments in the history of Redlyn. See, the thing about Ashlyn's line here is the tone in which she says it. She doesn't mean it as a compliment, but as a statement of the absolute truth. You can hear that in her voice. And with good reason, too, because she isn't lying at all. My boy Reddy sure does light up a room by walking into it. Both of them do, really. They're soulmates, you know.

'This place is not creepy at all...' — Yeah, and things between Ricky and Nini are not totally awkward at all, either. I'm living for this.

'I can do Troy!' — Sure you can, Eej. Sure you can. Emotional connection to the material and all.

Ok, but this entire scene... Carlos marking Gabriella's lines completely flatly, EJ emoting like he's in a freaking telenovela and also chopping onions... Carlos' reaction to the latter... I'm living for all of this.

Big Red just suddenly appearing next to Miss Jenn has me rolling... and also kind of wishing he could appear like that next to me too. I mean, it's not like I've visualised that so many times... certainly not every time I have to pass by a stray dog, or give a blood sample, or talk to people, or whatever... why do you ask?

'I never really loved the name Nina anyway' — listen, I relate to the sentiment of not being super fond of your given name, but... what was that stuff in s2 about, then? I mean, I do understand that too, but the two just seem to clash a bit, I reckon. That's all.

Also, can we talk about Rini's chemistry and how it's sometimes there and sometimes nowhere to be found? I think I've figured it out. Every time the chemistry is there, they're talking about or doing things that are not necessarily inherently romantic. Reminiscing about kindergarten, how they gave each other their nicknames, 'the ribbon in your hair, the secrets that we shared, the way that you would stare at me across the room' (yeah, I went there, and for a good reason)... see, Ricky and Nini have that kind of thing going on where, however hard you try, you just can't be indifferent to the other person. It's obvious that they love each other so much, but whenever they try to make it romantic, something goes south. What I'm saying is, when you're really good friends with somebody and you try to force it into something 'more', or better said, something else (because romance is not inherently 'more' than friendship and you can pry that out of my cold dead aro hands), and the operating word here is 'force', things are bound to go wrong and even reach toxic territory. And Rini are living proof of that. Some people are just better as friends, and sometimes the entire 'I don't want to ruin our friendship' trope is very valid. I just want them to be best buddies, is that too much to ask?

Bless Steph for pushing Kourtney forward when Miss Jenn needed someone to sing! Honestly, it's moments like these that make me feel like the background characters are criminally underrated. I realise not every character can be equally central to the plot, but with this cast, I kind of want them to be. I have the feeling that most, if not all of the one-line characters in this show are people with just as much talent and potential as the main cast. They deserve recognition, you know.

Going off of the above, Dara Reneé is living proof of the point I just made. You know how Kourtney was supposed to be a one-scene wonder with two lines? And then Dara showed up and hiding her in the background was instantly out of the question. I wonder how many more hidden gems there are in the show, just sitting in the background, delivering their single line and waiting their turn in the semi-metaphorical wings.

'I just need a minute, or a vacation, it's not clear' — Me, all the time. Especially after I read chapter 11 of @redlyncentral's Let It Go. That ending broke me. And this line by Miss Jenn just reminded me of that feeling, even if what she's feeling right now might not be the exact same thing I went through with that chapter the other day. That being said, everyone go check out my lovely friend's writing right now, I promise you it's worth every second.

'We're going to take a... long five' — What, no 'thank you, five'? I was expecting that. But I guess everyone is a little bit too distraught for that now.

I have to hand it to Carlos — even when he's very obviously uncomfortable and lowkey scared of some people, he just goes up to them and calls them out. I wish I could ever be bold enough to do that.

Wow, not EJ thrashing Carlos' 'forest of boys' idea. Again. I don't get why everyone dislikes it so much, I think it's brilliant visual poetry and should have been given a chance. I said what I said.

You know, everyone has been calling the show out for saying HSM premiered in the cinema, not on telly like it did in real life; and I have been agreeing with that sentiment. But notice how Miss Jenn said 'the Utah premiere' and how there were family and friends in the audience? What if that was some sort of semi-private screening for cast, crew and their family members? It would make sense. And of course, it was held in Utah because that was where the show was filmed and where the majority of background actors, dancers and extras are from. Idk, but it makes sense to me. Note that I have very limited knowledge of how the period between post-production and the release of a movie works.

Isn't Ashlyn the best, though, always noticing when someone is not ok, hearing them out, helping them... I wish I could be half as good a friend as she is. She and Big Red are totally soulmates in that, too. And they deserve each other more than anyone else deserves them, honestly. I just love both of them so much, both as individuals and as a couple, and I cannot be made to shut up about that just yet.

I've got to say, the entire 'me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me' - 'you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you' thing was super funny. And it makes me love Rini — strictly as friends — even more. You know, I think I used to ship them during s1 because the script wanted me to. Exactly like I didn't notice Big Red until midway through the season because the script didn't want me to. Sometimes the script, the acting, the directing and other stuff has immense power over viewers' perception of a show's plot and characters. And that is, as I always point out, what rewatches are for — noticing things that may have escaped you the first time over.

Yeah, so Nini was Ricky's first crush. So what? Many people have had crushes on their best friend at some point or another. That doesn't necessarily mean they're better off as a couple than they are as friends. The opposite idea is just amatonormativity speaking. I mean, sometimes it's nice and it works out; I love me some well-written best-friends-to-lovers, but that's just not always the case and the media should stop pushing the idea that platonic relationships are in any way inferior to romantic ones.

I've got to say I really don't like it when someone interrupts two people's romantic moment (and Big Red is not exempt from my frustration in such cases even though I love him so much — just think of the In a Heartbeat scene), but honestly, bless Reddy for not letting Ricky and Nini kiss. I mean, I know full well they do kiss later on (and how!), but it's just nice to have semi-platonic Rini for a while. If and when we get season 3 (manifesting!), I really hope we get more of them putting some stuff behind them and just being best buddies.

Kourtney and Seb's friendship is honestly goals and I really wish we'd got some more of it. Just another thing to add to my season 3 wishlist. Along with, you know, an actual season 3.

EJ saying all those nice (and very true) things to Carlos has my heart (or, well, he's renting it temporarily from Redlyn and Seblos, but you know). And Carlos really was like 'A for effort, C for execution', and I adore him for that. But EJ is seriously growing. He's pretty much reached EJ 1.8 at this point, and I love to see it.

Say what you want about the Lucas Grabeel dream sequence, but I love, love, love it. Completely unironically. I mean, he's kind of my favourite OG cast member. And the 'I'm more of a Glinda' comment referencing Kate Reinders actually being one of the BWay Glindas? Here's a note from when I first watched 1x1: The drama teacher won’t stop spilling her coffee and I love her. Also, her actress was Glinda on Broadway, so I stan. See, I didn't even know Miss Jenn's name yet and I already loved her. But then she went and did some stuff in s2 and ruined all of that. Add 'proper Miss Jenn redemption' to my s3 wishlist, I guess. But I'm getting off-track (when am I not?)

I only just noticed that all of the iconic BWay leads mentioned in the song (sans Glinda, of course, but that wasn't even a proper part of the song) start with an E. I wonder if that was on purpose or a lucky accident...

'And you never know when you'll get a cameo...' — If anyone in the HSM franchise knows anything about making the most of a cameo, it's Lucas. I'm referring to his post-credits scene in Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure, of course. That is one of my absolute favourite scenes in the entire movie. Well, that and The Rest of My Life. I very unironically love that number.

Another thing on the list of things I very unironically love — the transitions both into and out of this scene. I just think they're neat.

Have I mentioned before how much I love it that Carlos' response every time someone asks where he has to be is 'Broadway'... it just reminds me a lot of Seb's 'Friendship!' — that's some soulmate stuff right there, if you ask me.

'I just... almost did something really stupid' — Yes, Nini, yes it was very stupid. And you're going to do it anyway. You wouldn't if I had any say in this, but I don't and so here we are. In a world where Rini are a romantic thing, Redlyn get 5 minutes of screentime in s1 and two major moments demoted to post-credits scenes, Seblos haven't even properly discussed their issues, and Portwell didn't even kiss on screen. I lowkey hate it here. Still, I feel like things are going in the right direction. If we get a season 3, that is — and we better be getting it, or I will riot and I know I won't be the only one.

No but... just imagine if Kourtney hadn't called YAC for Nini, but for herself. There's so much potential there... and I think Kourtney and Ashlyn deserved that spot every bit as much as Nini did, and then some. I said what I said.

Well, this was 1x8. This post is already way too long, plus I want to do a double feature of the last two whenever I get to rewatching them, so I'm ending this here. It was just as much of a journey as I remembered it being, and not nearly as negative as I had the feeling it would be. I absolutely loved it, you know. And with good reason too.

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts: the rewatch #ricky bowen #nini salazar-roberts #ej caswell #ashlyn moon caswell #big red redonovich #carlos rodriguez #seb matthew-smith #kourtney greene #hsmtmts miss jenn #redlyn

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hrtiu · 4 years ago

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Worthy of Devotion Chapter 6

Yeah so... obviously I didn’t stick to my weekly update schedule 😅 But hey, Chapter 7 is already halfway done!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28259979/chapters/72995721

Kaminoan breakfast was not to Riyo’s taste. It was all raw fish, squid, and shellfish chopped up and mixed together with some kind of acidic syrup and, as a native of a marshy moon with no oceans, Riyo found it disagreeable. Still, she dutifully slurped down the food and nodded along to Prime Minister Lama Su’s unhurried conversation.

“As you can see, our facilities are state-of-the-art, and the Republic is reaping the benefits of our skilled army,” he said.

Riyo nodded and picked up the last spoonful of her breakfast, hesitating only a moment before putting the tentacled mystery in her mouth. The food they fed the clones at the cafeteria had looked different, like a nutritional paste or some kind of fortified starch. This seafood hash was no doubt a delicacy meant to honor her visit, but she’d honestly prefer the paste.

“This is quite an impressive operation you have here, Prime Minister,” she said. “I look forward to discussing the future of the Republic’s relationship with Kamino at the summit.”

She set her spoon down and left her napkin on top of her plate, signalling that she was done with the meal—finally. She’d spent most of the previous night making last-minute preparations with Maja, and she didn’t think she could handle another moment of small talk and crustaceans.

Lama Su inclined his long neck. “Shall we?”

He rose to his feet and Riyo, flanked by Maja, Captain Rex, and Commander Fox, followed him out of the dining hall and into a spare, white conference room. Nala Se, Senator Burtoni and several other Kaminoan dignitaries were already seated inside, and the Prime Minister showed Riyo to her seat at the head of the table. Rex and Maja found their own spots at the far end of the group, and Fox stationed himself at the door.

Lama Su took the chair next to Riyo and cleared his throat, drawing the eyes of all the attendees to him. “I want to thank Chancellor Chuchi for visiting with us today. I am eager to discuss Kamino’s role in the Republic’s military moving forward, and to build upon the foundation of goodwill and trust that we have already established.”

“Thank you for having me, Prime Minister,” Riyo said. She waited for him to extend his welcome to Rex and Maja, too, but he moved right on to business.

“I’ll begin with the basics. As we on Kamino have provided the Republic with an excellent military in the past, no doubt contributing greatly to the Republic’s victory in the war, we believe the Republic would be amenable to extending our contracts. Perhaps the Republic no longer has need of such a large army, but surely some standing military force is necessary for the defense of our systems, and we are also in the process of developing new technologies and personnel specializing in peacekeeping and violence deterrence.”

Riyo’s mouth twisted. The phrase “peacekeeping” had been too-often used throughout the war to justify acts of aggression, and was he really going to completely ignore the clone legislation the Senate had just passed? Senator Burtoni had to have told him.

“The Republic does indeed owe a large debt of gratitude to its clone army,” she said, gesturing to Rex, “who protected citizens and defended our sovereignty at the risk and often expense of their own lives. However, you must understand that, given recent legislation involving the legality of pressing clones into military service, we cannot continue to use your services in the same way.”

Lama Su leaned over the table and laced his long fingers together. “Yes, Senator Burtoni informed us of this legislation. I fail to see why a practice that ensured the Republic’s victory in the war could so conveniently be deemed illegal after the fact.”

“The criticism is valid, Prime Minister, but unfortunately we cannot change the past. We can only try to move forward in a way that is consistent with our values, and creating sentient life only for it to be forced into military service is not consistent with our values.”

Lama Su’s giant eyes narrowed ‘til only a thin slice of grey iris peeked through. “What are you proposing, Chancellor?”

Riyo inclined her head towards Rex.

“All production of clone soldiers needs to end immediately,” Rex said. “The Republic has already paid, so it’s no harm to you. The Republic won’t commission any clone soldiers in the future, either.”

“This is outrageous!” Senator Burtoni said, addressing Riyo and ignoring Rex. “It is an insult to our relationship with the Republic!”

“The Senate’s vote is final,” Rex said. “Kamino is free to do what they wish, but all member systems of the Republic have to abide by Republic laws, which now prohibit the enslavement of any sentient beings for any reason.”

“Where was all this talk of slavery when the Republic ordered the army?” Senator Burtoni demanded. “I must say, Chancellor, this law feels rather pointed. If Kamino is to be singled out like this, perhaps we would not wish to remain-”

Lama Su held up a hand and Senator Burtoni closed her mouth, nodding in deference to the Prime Minister. “Chancellor Chuchi, we of course would wish to remain in the Republic, but you must understand how much our economy is tied to the cloning industry. We have invested decades of education, technology, and infrastructure into this endeavor. What you are asking is not so simple as turning a switch from on to off.”

Riyo nodded sympathetically, though it irked her to no end the way they continued to ignore Rex. “I understand your concern, Prime Minister, which is why I have already negotiated several agricultural contracts on your behalf. The nerf industry is very interested in your work isolating desirable genetic traits. Etrat Industries is also willing to hire Kaminoan geneticists to develop more drought-resistant grains.” Riyo passed a datapad to Lama Su and gave him a moment to look it over. “The current value of these contracts is about 75% of what the clone army generated for Kamino, but I believe these contracts can grow into a sustained economy that does not rely on one product, and no longer requires widespread war to be profitable.”

Lama Su’s dark eyes darted across the screen and he nodded thoughtfully. “We will need time to consider and speak with these contacts of yours before formally agreeing, but I find your proposal to be a compelling one, Chancellor.”

Riyo held back a sigh of relief. Maja had insisted that Kamino valued membership in the Republic enough to play hardball, but Riyo still hadn’t been sure the agricultural contracts would be tempting enough to soothe any hurt feelings. And as abhorrent as she found the Human factory here on Kamino, Riyo still didn’t want the Kaminoans to leave the Republic. For one thing, leaving the Republic would leave them free to create clone armies for other people.

The summit moved on and they first went through the new clone legislation and what exactly it meant. No, cloning wasn’t entirely illegal. Yes, cloning sentient beings for servitude was illegal. Then they went through each of the agricultural contracts line by line and Lama Su and his advisors discussed which ones they could easily take on with minimal capital expense. Lama Su was difficult to read, but Riyo thought she could see a pleased glimmer in his eye as he examined the proposed quotes for each contract. She made a mental note to throw a party for Maja later for pulling so much of that together.

“Well,” Lama Su said after several hours of debate, “You are our customer, so of course we will halt production as you requested. We are tentatively willing to commit to never producing clone soldiers again, but it will take some time before we can formalize the agreement. This was, as you know, the foundation of our economy for some time. We wish to remain in the Republic, but leaving is an option if we feel we are not being treated fairly.”

“I can assure you, Prime Minister, we will do everything we can to ensure that all citizens of the Republic—Kaminoan and Clone alike—will be treated fairly,” Riyo said.

“Excellent. That brings our summit to a close-”

“One more thing, if I may,” Riyo interjected.

Lama Su looked up at her, a frown of mild indifference on his face. “Yes, Chancellor Chuchi?”

Riyo’s eyes darted quickly to Rex at the end of the table, then over to Fox. She hadn’t had a chance to consult them about this part, but she was reasonably sure they’d approve. “As the price for the clones’ production and cultivation until adulthood has already been paid for, the Republic is willing to assume responsibility for the care and raising of all clones aged zero to three effective immediately, and for only half the cost the Kaminoan facility would have spent on their training.”

The grey brows above Lama Su’s eyes rose. “What do you mean, for only half the cost?”

“Your people would pay the Republic to take over the raising of these clones half of the estimated cost of training them here on Kamino. You would still come out ahead, financially.”

Lama Su’s nostril slits flared slightly and his eyes turned over to Senator Burtoni.

“They were created for the Republic. I suppose the Republic can claim them at any time,” Senator Burtoni said.

Lama Su’s expression remained impassive, but years of experience in politics told Riyo what he was thinking. He didn’t like the idea of capitulating to yet another Republic demand, but he was counting credits, and she knew the calculus would end up in her favor.

“If you insist, then of course we are willing to oblige our loyal customer,” he said. “It will take time to sort out logistics, so let’s say tentatively the handover will take place in six months-”

“I’ve already worked out most of the logistics on my end. We should be able to pick up the children in one month.”

A brief silence filled the conference room at her words, and Lama Su stared down at her. “As you wish, Chancellor.”

They closed the summit with all the necessary formalities, and Riyo walked from the room, her shoulders tucked back and her chin held high all the way until they reached the safety of her rooms. Then she let the tension of the negotiations go and her placid expression dropped.

“Oh my goodness, I wasn’t at all sure that was going to work, Maja.”

Maja patted her shoulder. “I told you they’re desperate to stay in the Republic. As an extragalactic planet, the Republic is vital in connecting them to trade and the political life of the rest of the galaxy.”

“Yes, but I really thought demanding all that, plus the younger clones—I was worried they’d reject us just out of spite.”

Maja smirked. “Pride is one thing, but credits are king.”

“You, my friend, are a genius.”

“Who am I to contradict the Chancellor?”

Riyo laughed, but her laugh quickly morphed into a sigh. “And now the work begins. Can you call back our contact with the Child Services Agency on Coruscant? And get in touch with those other agricultural conglomerates we haven’t heard back from yet.”

“On it, boss.”

Riyo started for the office near the back of her quarters, but a low cough turned her attention behind her. Commander Fox was standing there, helmet on and blaster still in hand, his posture stiff and formal. Next to him was Rex, helmetless, with a warm smile on his face.

“Yes, Commander? Captain? I’m sorry, I probably should have asked your opinion on this, first. I just had so many holo calls to make to work things out, and I couldn’t find either of you anywhere-”

“It’s not a problem, Madam Chancellor,” Rex said. “Thank you for caring. I know it means a lot to the boys.”

Riyo smiled at him. “Of course, Captain,” she said, then her smile fell. “After coming here, I couldn’t do nothing. I… I had some idea what it would be like here, but nothing prepared me for actually seeing it.”

“We’re clones. How else do you think we were raised?” Rex said.

“I know, it’s just… different when you actually see the trichbasa stuffed.”

“The what?”

“Oh, it’s a Pantoran phrase. Sometimes you don’t want to see the messy details of how something gets made. It’s… easier not knowing.”

“I’m glad you were willing to stomach it for us, ma’am,” Rex said.

“Ma’am?” Maja said, poking her head back into the hallway from the study. “The Chief Administrator of the Child Services Agency is on the holo.”

“I’ll be right there!”

She bade the two clones a hasty farewell and threw herself right into work. Committing to finding safe and nurturing permanent homes for thousands of young clones had meant taking on a huge amount of logistics in a short time, but she was determined to succeed. The clones deserved nothing less.

---

Riyo and Maja toiled late into the night and hardly slept before their scheduled departure the next morning. Riyo spent almost the entire flight back to Coruscant drafting up letters looking for donations and support for the child clones. She’d found enough backers the night before the summit to make the ask, but there were still so many more details to work out and more funding never hurt.

About halfway through composing a letter to a wealthy philanthropist from Bespin, Riyo’s eyes began to droop. She was so tired, if she just rested her eyes a moment she could finish this up. Yes… Just a moment was all she needed...

“Ma’am?” A gloved hand gently tapped Riyo on the shoulder, and she opened her eyes only to find her face smooshed up against the transparisteel of the observation window. She blinked blearily up at Fox, identifying him as the tapper.

“Yes, Fox?”

“We’re starting the landing sequence, Madam Chancellor.”

“Oh…” She sat up and rubbed at her eyes, then hastily swiped at the puddle of drool that had collected on her datapad. “Why didn’t anyone wake me!”

“We were informed that it would be unwise…” Rex said.

“I told them if they did I’d murder them,” Maja said from where she sat in the corner, her gaze never budging from the datapad in her hand.

Riyo laughed, then buckled herself in for landing. “And that’s why I picked you as my assistant.”

Maja raised the stylus she was holding and tipped it in Riyo’s direction. “Exactly.”

They landed and Rex offered to escort Maja to her apartment, which Riyo appreciated. Maja didn’t get the same security detail that Riyo did, but she could just as easily be targeted by political enemies.

Fox and Riyo took the high-speed lift up to Riyo’s secure apartment in Coruscant’s upper levels, and Riyo’s focus wavered as the lights of the city blurred by through the lift’s transparisteel windows.

“...Madam Chancellor?”

Riyo shook her head to rouse herself and looked to Fox, concentrating hard to make sure she wasn’t dreaming up his sudden desire to talk. “Yes?”

Fox’s helmet was clipped to his belt, but his expression was as opaque as ever. “Thank you,” he said. Then he spread his arms to the side, letting them hover awkwardly away from his hips.

Riyo furrowed her brow at him. She’d had way too little sleep in the past 48 hours to believe she was interpreting this correctly. “Fox?”

Fox cleared his throat, a ruddy flush spreading across his cheeks. “You can hug me, if you want.”

“Oh. Oh!”

That certainly woke Riyo up. She stood dumbfounded for a moment, then saw in the twitch under Fox’s eye that if she didn’t do something quick he might break the lift open and jump out. She fell forward into what she now recognized as open arms and wrapped herself around his torso. Her fingers barely met around the bulky backplate, but she would not be deterred.

Fox’s gloved hands rested uncertainly on Riyo’s shoulders, and she smiled into his chestplate. Not too long ago Fox had been alone and untouched in one of those awful nurseries on Kamino, just like all of his other brothers. She wasn’t about to let that travesty continue.

“I only wish I could have done more,” she said, her voice muffled by his chest.

He didn’t respond for a beat. Riyo was glad he didn’t lie to her, didn’t tell her that she’d done more than enough. There was still so much to do, so many wrongs to right. And she’d only been able to rescue the youngest clones.

“There’s still time,” he said eventually.

She squeezed him tight, her arms full of unyielding plastoid. Through all the armor, though, she thought she could feel a beating heart.

---

“But where are we going to get the money? This is the question nobody seems interested in but me,” Senator Taam said.

“Maybe because we are more concerned with sentient lives than with credits,” Senator Organa snapped.

Fox suppressed a sigh behind his helmet. These Armed Services Committee meetings got things done, but the process was painfully slow. Palpatine had been one evil piece of Sithspit, but at least he’d been able to move quickly. If he’d wanted a fully-funded clone retirement program he’d have just called a meeting, made a few benevolent threats, and been done with it.

“Concern doesn’t pay for programs! The budget does, and I want to get this bill funded as much as any of you. So we can actually provide something to these clones.”

“Whenever we needed new flagships we managed to find the money from somewhere-” Senator Organa said.

“Ok, ok, we’re not getting anywhere arguing,” Chancellor Chuchi said. “Senator Taam is right—it doesn’t matter how great our ideas are if we can’t fund them.”

“Exactly-” Senator Taam said.

“But Senator Organa is right that we can’t use that as an excuse for inaction. This is going to cost major credits, and the budget is going to feel it. So we need to make sure that the public sees it as the necessity it is.”

The table fell silent and the committee exchanged apologetic glances. The corner of Fox’s mouth turned up. Palpatine may have been more efficient, but moments like these reminded him of why he preferred Chancellor Chuchi’s methods. Aside from the obvious fact that she didn’t abuse his brothers and send them to their deaths.

“In my experience, the more civilians know about us the more they’re willing to support us,” Rex said.

Senator Organa nodded. “That’s an excellent point. Up until now the GAR has been used for propaganda, but soldiers have mostly been portrayed as distant, heroic figures. We can run a publicity campaign that highlights your individuality.”

“As well as your practical skills,” Senator Paulness said. “Clones should find more employers willing to hire them and invest in their training if they understand the clones’ unique qualifications.”

Chancellor Chuchi tapped her stylus in her assistant’s direction. “Maja, have Talia Tantipani draw up preliminary ideas for a publicity campaign, would you?”

“On it, ma’am.”

“That’s all well and good, but publicity alone won’t be enough,” said Senator Taam.

“You’re right. We need to also demonstrate the ways in which a retired clone army can benefit the populace,” Senator Paulness said.

“Plenty of the systems we fought on are in desperate need of reconstruction. The locals already know us and most are friendly to us—they might be open to clone workers coming to help rebuild,” Rex said.

“Hmm…” Senator Taam said. “We could expand the Relief and Recovery Agency and have it give hiring precedence to former clone soldiers.”

“I can work on incorporating more job training into the Relief and Recovery Agency, too,” said Senator Organa.

The senators began talking excitedly amongst themself and the energy in the room lifted. Fox recognized a breakthrough when he saw it, and he found himself tuning the chatter out. A twinge of guilt nudged at his conscience, that he wasn’t paying more attention to legislation that would affect the livelihoods of so many of his brothers, but there was only so much of this endless talk he could force himself to focus through. Besides, he had other things to worry about.

Like Daw Saetang. He was an agricultural lobbyist, and though he’d attended several meetings with the Chancellor already, he was slated for a one-on-one right after the Armed Services Committee finished up. One-on-one meetings called for more thorough background checks, and though Saetang’s check hadn’t raised any red flags, something about him still bugged Fox. Was it his smarmy smile? Or maybe the way he didn’t have face tattoos like all the other Pantorans Fox had met. Not that he’d met that many…

“Ok then, Senator Taam will reach out to the Relief and Recovery Agency, Senator Organa will focus on the publicity campaign, and Senator Paulness will head up our contacts in various employment and job training organizations.” Captain Rex said.

The senators all nodded their agreement, and Chancellor Chuchi started gathering up her datapads. “Excellent. I know progress can seem slow, but we need to give our veterans support as soon as possible.”

The meeting adjourned and Fox waited while Maja and Chancellor Chuchi chatted and collected their supplies together. The Chancellor was close enough to her assistant that Maja must be able to smell her perfume—a citrusy scent that Fox only knew because his damned helmet filter didn’t work very well any more. He’d have to request a new one, which would be a royal pain now that his position fell outside of typical command structures.

Yes, he’d have to get it replaced. That way, if the Chancellor ever wanted to hug him again, he wouldn’t be cursed with the memory of her perfume following him around all day. Though, who was he kidding? Why on earth would she ever want to hug him again? He’d been as stiff as a clanker. He’d heard the Kaminoans describe the clones as “droids but better,” before, and thinking back to his painfully awkward hug, he believed there might be some truth to it.

Maja and the Chancellor left the conference room and Fox trailed them a few steps behind. They followed the well-trod path to the Chancellor’s office, where Saetang was already waiting outside for them.

“Madam Chancellor! An honor to see you again,” the tall Pantoran man said, holding his hand out towards Chancellor Chuchi with confidence.

“It’s good to see you, too, Mr. Saetang,” the Chancellor said.

“Please, it’s Daw. And Ms. Joyo, always a pleasure,” he said to Maja.

“Likewise,” Maja said.

Saetang ignored Fox, which suited Fox just fine.

They stepped into the Chancellor’s office and Fox stationed himself by the door. He prepared himself to tune out yet another circular policy argument, but Saetang and his skeezy smile drew his attention. He kept his eyes locked on the Pantoran man and scanned for unusual traits that might signal some sinister motive.

Saetang’s eyes flitted to Fox, and for a moment Fox could swear the man could see his gaze through the tinted visor. But that was impossible.

The negotiations continued, and Saetang had a way of getting what he wanted while making it seem like he was losing that got under Fox’s skin. Still, he trusted Chancellor Chuchi to be able to deal with snakes like Saetang. She’d been around the Senate long enough to recognize the type.

“I’ll be sure to communicate your terms to my colleagues,” Saetang said smoothly. “We’ve had our eyes on that Kaminoan gene selection technology for some time now, and I’m sure we can strike a mutually beneficial deal with them.”

“Thank you, Daw. I very much appreciate your time,” Chancellor Chuchi said, rising to her feet to signal the end of the meeting.

“The pleasure was all mine,” he said. He stood, but made no move towards the door.

“...Is there something else, Mr. Saetang?” Chancellor Chuchi said.

“My apologies, Madam Chancellor, I was working up the nerve to ask you… I nabbed a reservation at Pantiat Ichi for tomorrow and was hoping you might accompany me.”

Fox’s hands held his blaster a little too tightly, and he had to make a conscious effort to loosen his grip. It was just an invitation. Why did it feel like a threat?

Chancellor Chuchi’s eyebrows rose. “Oh! I’m afraid I’ll be busy tomorrow evening. It’s such a shame, I’ve heard they have the best Pantoran food on the planet.”

Saetang offered her a rueful smile. “I understand, it’s so last minute. If your evening frees up, though, please let me know.”

“Of course.”

She walked him to the door of her office and he bowed over her hand before he left, bringing a bluish blush to her cheeks. Then he left and the door finally shut on the bastard.

When the Chancellor turned back to her desk, Maja was grinning at her like a tooka with a convor.

“Stop it!” Chancellor Chuchi said, and she shoved Maja playfully.

“Stop what?” Maja asked, eyes wide with innocence.

“He’s just a smooth-talking lobbyist. It’s not a big deal.”

“You know I actually could carve out time for dinner for you tomorrow night.”

The Chancellor eyed her friend doubtfully. “Are you serious?”

“Why not? He seems nice enough, and I’ve heard Pantiat Ichi is to die for.”

“He’s a lobbyist!”

“Yes, there are rules you’d have to follow, but I can make sure everything is square. Really, Riyo, why not get out and have a little fun? You haven’t taken a single personal day since taking office.”

“I… I suppose I could…”

Maja’s smile grew. “You want me to send him a message?”

Chancellor Chuchi threw up her hands. “Fine. Why not?”

“That’s the spirit!” Maja said, rushing the Chancellor for a surprise hug.

Chancellor Chuchi laughed and pushed at her friend, and soon Fox could no longer make out exactly what they were saying. He sighed and commed Thorn through his helmet’s built-in system. His helmet might be old and falling apart, but at least it was still soundproof with the dampers on.

“Thorn? Can we get another background check on Daw Saetang? Dig a bit deeper this time.”

---

The first human Bacara ever killed couldn’t have been much older than he was. At least, biologically. If he just went by years then Bacara was likely at least a decade younger. Regardless, the Twi’lek man Bacara shot in the chest was too thinking, too breathing, too sentient for comfort.

Bacara had never before thought to be grateful to be fighting droids, but he had to admit it was much easier to blow a clanker’s head off than a Twi’lek’s.

“Sir, the remaining Separatists have been cleared out,” Solus told him over the comms.

“Do a thorough sweep of the area. I don’t want any stragglers to catch us off guard,” Bacara said.

General Mundi joined Bacara at the top of the ridge overlooking the wooded battlefield. “Excellent work, Commander.”

“Just doing our jobs, sir.”

“Still, I know fighting against sentients isn’t quite that same. You’ve adapted well.”

Bacara nodded and put his hands behind his back. “What’s our next move, sir?”

“Once everything’s sorted here, we only have one more assignment before returning to Coruscant.”

Bacara smiled. He’d get to see his batchmates for the first time in months. And more importantly, he’d be able to tell them what he’d learned about their inhibitor chips.

“It is difficult to be away from the ones we love, isn’t it?” General Mundi said.

Bacara’s smile faded. He didn’t like when the General said things that seemed to respond to the thoughts in his head, especially not when his thoughts strayed too close to the inhibitor chips. “Captain Peke’s waiting to report in the command center,” he said, ignoring the General’s question. It had been rhetorical, anyway.

“Excellent,” General Mundi said, and together they headed for the command center, a collapsible durasteel bunker that had seen plenty of wear in all different kinds of terrain and atmospheres.

They stepped through the automatic doors and Bacara immediately sensed something was wrong. The doors slammed shut behind them and the lights extinguished. When they turned on again the General was surrounded by insurgents, one of them with a blaster held to his head.

“Don’t move! Or the Jedi gets it!” the man said, dirt and blood on his face and desperation in his eyes.

“Let’s just stay calm…” Bacara said, slowly setting his blaster on the ground.

“I tried to warn you, sir!” Captain Peke said from across the room. He was tied up to a chair, and another one of the insurgents held him at blaster-point.

“Everybody quiet!” the man with his blaster to Mundi’s head said.

Peke shut his mouth and Bacara slowly rose from his crouch, his hands held high with his palms open.

“We don’t want trouble with the Republic,” the lead insurgent said. “And we aren’t with the Separatists, either. We just want our planet to be in peace, we just want to live free without Republic interference.”

Bacara’s eyes darted to General Mundi’s, but the General seemed unconcerned. “This is not something you want to do, son.”

“Shut up!” the man shouted. “I know all about your Jedi tricks, and that won’t work on us!”

“This is not going to end well for you. If you leave now we won’t follow you,” Mundi said.

“We’re not leaving until you order all Republic forces out of this system!”

“This is your last warning.”

“Kriff you and your warnings! I’m the one with the blaster!”

With a sudden whoosh of power, General Mundi pushed outward from himself, knocking everything away from him in a perfect wave of energy. Bacara fell backwards and scrambled to grab his blaster before any of the rebels could get to it first. He grabbed the grip and rolled onto his back, aiming up at whoever might have followed his movements. But there was no one there.

General Mundi stood in the middle of the room, the blue glow of his lightsaber illuminating the carnage around him. The insurgents were dead. All of them. Eight bodies lay scattered around the room, burning wounds bearing testament to their singular cause of death. General Mundi looked down at their prone bodies, his mouth turned downwards and his eyes sad.

“...General? Are you alright?” Bacara asked.

General Mundi turned yellow eyes to Bacara. “Yes, Bacara, thank you. It’s just a shame.”

“...Yes, sir.”

“Well then. Let’s free Captain Peke, shall we?”

Bacara got to his feet and he and General Mundi untied Captain Peke from the chair. Bacara called for help with cleanup through his comm, and in only a half hour they were debriefing in that very same command center as if nothing had happened. All throughout the debrief, though, Bacara could see the shadows of the bodies around the room.

#foxiyo #commander fox #riyo chuchi #star wars #fanfic #tcw #the clone wars

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